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bambi-kinos · 27 days

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I really enjoy your meta and look forward to more mclennon analysis. Out of curiosity, you mentioned that you think they started being physical in 1964 - is there a reason why that year specifically? Personally, I've always thought they started sleeping together in 1963, and my reasoning for that is they seem much closer in videos/photos, not to mention it was the year they "broke through", so to speak.

Would love to hear your thoughts on that!

Hmm well I guess it depends on how they, and we, define their sex life. John and Paul were sexually intimate starting since they were teenagers because John brought Paul into the group wanks. (tbh it's a miracle Paul didn't brain John with something heavy thanks to all that Winston Churchilling.) There's really no telling how it progressed from there, anything is possible with these two. Until Paul tells us the details (and I do not put it past him) then he and John could have been hooking up at literally any point in their relationship. When I think of them getting physical with each other, I'm thinking of them getting each other off with intent and purpose, and considering the style of the time this would mean penetration. Everything else can be handwaved away.

I pick 1964 because of this post: https://www.tumblr.com/got-ticket-to-ride/739464905120497664/its-the-anniversary-day-of-john-and-paul-in-paris?source=share

It's just something about it, y'know. John and Paul are in their city. They stayed up all night and well into the morning and then slept deep into the afternoon, almost evening. And then as GTTR says, "And then they emerge from their hotel room looking like a newlywed couple."

Well, there's just a certain satisfaction radiating off them isn't there?

But I do see your point: why wouldn't they be hooking up earlier? Why wouldn't it escalate physically before this? Why would they wait until Paris 1964?

I have a few reasons, they are admittedly flimsy but since we are all just making shit up then it's fine, right?

Julian was born in 1963. I've read bits and pieces of Beatles 1963 by Rees and that book is full of little chunks about John running home to see Cynthia and the baby (usually not even for a full night/day because he was so busy.) Their schedule is also packed, they are constantly on the move especially during the night because this is where they had to start being smuggled out of theaters and such. So I genuinely think that John and Paul did not have the time or the space to have sex with each other. I know I am saying this when they had time to hook up with groupies between shows but considering who John and Paul are, and what they mean to one another, I just struggle to imagine them acting that way with one another. They would want to take their time with one another and get it right. They're hopeless romantics at heart, they're both deeply enamored with the idea of "you're special, you're different" so I genuinely think they would want to take their time with each other physically and do it right. I don't think they had that time in 1963 with the way they're running all over the UK.

Then there's the Absolute State of John and Paul's relationship in 1963. Remember that the halcyon days of Paris are way in the rearview mirror at this point. In 1962 Stuart died, Cynthia got pregnant, and John had to get married to save her reputation. I can't imagine Paul reacting well to any of this though I'm sure he put his cheery stoic mask on. Then in 1963, Julian is born. Barcelona happens and John seduces Brian to get the songwriting credit that he wanted and screws Paul out of their deal. Considering this is something Paul is still angry about to this day, I can't imagine how he blew his fucking top at John when he found out that May:

I don't think Paul was in the mood for any hooking up in 1963. John has a baby with a woman, is married, then he fucks off to have a gay experience with their manager and then when he comes back he's screwed Paul's side of the business on the downlow? I would be on the fucking six o' clock news lmao, John would not have escaped my wrath. It's really no wonder Paul made a specific point of hooking up with Jane Asher isn't it? He was making a point to John specifically and John seethed about it.

However I do think that something happened in 1963 that healed the rift in the Lennon-McCartney relationship:

Paul got sick from the gastric flu and he fainted dead away in the dressing room. John was very upset and was seen pacing the room when the doctor arrived to check on Paul. This is how we know that Paul actually fainted for real, if he was just feeling feverish John would be concerned but maybe not like that. @james-winston has a pair of really fantastic posts about the aftermath of the fainting incident that I have taken as gospel and I fully apply this to any McLennon analysis I write about this period. The key point though is this:

I have a headcanon that Paul being sick caused something to happen between John and Paul that left them both feeling awkward around each other. I don't think it is was sexual, I think it was more likely that John (who thought he was cursed to have all the men he loved die on him) was afraid something might happen to Paul, and reacted emotionally to it.

This all took place in November, after the Wooler thing, after the burn from Barcelona has had a chance to soften, after they both have had time to get used to the idea that Julian exists and has a place in their lives now. I think this was enough to mend things between them. And you know what else happened the night Paul fainted? Brian secured The Beatles their spot on Ed Sullivan:

So once Brian comes back and tells them the news, John and Paul flip right back into the honeymoon phase. The wounds of the past are forgotten (for now) and they're right back in each other's pockets. I think it's around this time period that Paul was taking photos that now make up Eye of the Storm.

TBH I can imagine John and Paul hooking up at this date. If someone looked at this and said "well this looks like a prelude to sweet love making to me" then that's perfectly reasonable. There's some suggestive photos in Eye of the Storm where Paul is taking John's picture from what looks to be a bathtub while John makes faces at him. It could have been then, absolutely.

But I like the idea that Paul wanted to wait until the next year. 1963 was rough on all of them and he and John are both big on getting new starts. Wait for 1964 to roll around. Brian says we're going to Paris in February. I can wait until then.

And just this once, it was worth it.

#mclennon #anonymous asks #talktalktalk #my meta #beatles meta #this was a really fun ask anon thank you

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somegrumpynerd · 23 days

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"Trying to keep these oversized hamsters alive"

Fuvk. Now i yearn to See them drawn as hamsters for real! 💘🥺🥺🥺 pls bless us with Bad sans hamsters, i beg u pleeeaseee. 😭😭💕

- 🍓

Weeeeell alright, but only because you asked so nicely and also I really really love hamsters lol

(I've only ever had history with dwarf hamsters so that's what they all are to me, sanses are short anyway so it kinda fits.)

I made Killer and Dust roborovskis because they were the first hamsters I had and I have favourites. Also they are fast as hell so good luck catching these guys if they get out. I made Horror and Cross russians because they get a lil bit bigger than robos and I wanted a black and white one for Cross.

Also I dunno if you've ever seen those videos of 2 hamsters trying to run on the same wheel and one getting spun around or thrown off, but that's 100% Killer and Cross.

#Ask #Anon #UTDR #UTMV #My Art #Bad Sanses #This took me back to my hamster days and it was really fun thank you anon <3 #All of these guys bite interact at your own risk #Also don't leave the cage open for even a second or they're gone #Fun fact: Horror is based on one of the last hamsters I had #He was the biggest dwarf hamster I've ever seen and his name was Beau (said like bo)#He also had the meanest bite and was grumpy all the time #I miss that guy so much

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allastoredeer · 23 days

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I’d love to hear about your radioapple headcanons!!

What do you think their love languages would be?

Who cooks for the other?

Have they ever considered sleeping in the same bed?

What would they bond over? Etc

Oooh hoo! I'm actually making them explore their love languages in the fic I'm writing right LMAO.

But yeah! I'll share some of my brain thoughts!!

Their love languages:

Lucifer's Lover Language: Gift Giving (he likes creating things, especially if he has someone specific in mind because that's when its got the most heart and effort in it, and people accepting his gifts and genuinely liking them mean the absolute word to him), Words of Affirmation (sometimes he just needs some affirmation, you know? Sometimes he needs to be told he's doing a good job), and Physical Touch (likes the closeness and intimacy of it, whether its cuddling, sex, or just holding hands).

Alastor's Love Language: Acts of Service (he shows his love by doing things for you, be it home cooked meals, picking up a few things for you, or killing someone. It's all in the name of love, baby!), Words of Affirmation (give him compliments. He needs them like air. if there's any stroking going on, it's going to be strokes to his ego), and Quality Time (arranged quality time, to be specific. I feel like he wouldn't like people popping up on him out of nowhere and dragging him off. Well, unless you're Rosie, maybe. Anyway, sometimes it's just being in his own room, doing his own thing, in the companionship of Lucifer's company. They can talk and argue and banter, but companionable silence is good too.)

Who cooks for the other?

Alastor.

Alastor def cooks for Lucifer when he actually enjoys being in his presence. He knows a lot of home-cooked meals, as well as a variety of desserts and sweets (even if he, personally, doesn't like sweet things). Some of it is because he enjoys cooking for people he likes, and some of it is just because it's a fun hobby to him. He likes learning how to cook new recipes, even if he might not like that recipe himself.

I think Lucifer knows how to cook. Maybe nothing extravagant or super complicated, but he can make a good dish. As soon as Charlie moved out, he kind of fell out of it, though. Anything he made for himself was Hell's equivalent of a microwaveable dinner. He just did not have the motivation, energy, or mental/emotional capacity to put a lot of effort into himself. He really enjoyed cooking things for Charlie, and I actually think he'd tried to cook Alastor's favorite dish as a surprise for him (for their anniversary, or an in-house date night, or just as a random act of love, because I feel like Lucifer would do a lot of spur-of-the-moment, random acts of love).

Have they ever considered sleeping in the same bed?

They did, eventually, when their relationship got to the point they felt comfortable doing that. Alastor likes his space, and he doesn't like people intruding on it. His room is his comfort zone. He doesn't mind physical touch, but it needs to be on his own terms. Sometimes, he's okay with cuddling up next to Lucifer, and sometimes he just needs his space while he's sleeping.

Lucifer can still be in the bed, he's just gotta stay on his side.

Lucifer, on the other hand, is a big cuddler. He's incredibly touch-starved from being on his own for so long, so he'll take the physical touch he can get. Alastor can recognize when Lucifer needs more physical touch, and he'll offer it so long as he's also mentally able to as well.

The more they get used to each other's presence, the more Alastor is open to Lucifer sleeping in the same bed with him, and indulging in physical contact. Lucifer is patient, and if Alastor wants him to stay on his side of the bed one night, he's fine with that. He'll get his cuddles again, eventually.

What would they bond over?

How bad modern television/entertainment is. It's all quantity over quality. There's rarely any real passion put into it. It's all to make as much money as possible, without putting life into the story.

Alastor is an entertainer. As a radio host, all he had to keep a captive audience was his voice and whatever other sounds he decided to use. It's all audio. And he has passion for entertainment. It needs flair! Drama! Charm!

All the modern stuff just feels so bland and lazy (and maybe he's a little too harsh on it sometimes. Even if he comes across something he actually likes, he'll NEVER admit it).

Lucifer just wants something good to watch, but anything he put on just didn't hit it for him. Sometimes, just sitting on the couch for hours watching cash-grab movies/shows made him feel even worse about himself, and creating ducks at least gave him some enjoyment, so he turned to that.

He doesn't have as much vehemence for modern entertainment as Alastor. If he finds something he likes, he'll happily watch it (much to Alastor dismay). But he rarely finds anything that REALLY intrigues him, so he just doesn't go searching for it very often.

I also think they would bond over their respective hobbies. Lucifer likes making and collecting ducks. Alastor likes collecting furbies. They go hobby shopping together. Alastor rearranges and dusts off his furbies, while Lucifer creates his ducks. They co-play.

Additional headcanons (some of which you guys might already know!):

Alastor Bottoms and Lucifer Tops (In this specific relationship. Lucifer, himself, is a switch (which is canon!), but Alastor doesn't like topping- or inserting any part of himself into someone else. It's icks him out. He's okay with taking on a more passive bottom role. He might be convinced to Top, maybe, but it rarely ever happens).

Alastor is sex neutral, in the way that he's okay with having sex when he feels up to it, but he's also totally fine with not having it at all (Except when Lucifer goes demon mode in bed, because he has a power kink, and he is ALL for that. It's the only time he'll be an active bottom during sex).

Lucifer has a very high libido. It dropped a lot in the 7 years that he isolated himself in his palace (and because of depression. Depression definitely had a hand in that too), but as he starts getting into a better mind space and getting the mental-health help he needs, his libido comes back full force. He'll never push Alastor into doing anything, and he's okay with taking care of his sexual needs on his own, he's just a very, very horny man. He loves the intimacy, closeness, and pleasure that comes with sex, and loves sharing that with his partner. It's very important to him. It took a while for Alastor to really understand WHY sex is so important to Lucifer, as it doesn't really make sense to him, but once he did, he tries to be more active when they do have sex - or more proactive in initiating it (of course, only when he wants to, because you shouldn't force yourself to have sex with your partner!)

Alastor and Lucifer argue about the stupidest, most random, most insignificant things. It'll lead to full on shouting matches, and then 10 minutes later, they're chilling on the couch like nothing happened at all. They argue for the sake of arguing. The more heated, the better.

Annnd, that's all I have time for right now, but I do have more headcanons tumbling around in my head. Many thoughts.

These two are silly.

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ripplerain · 2 months

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Talking about the pokespe version (bc I love the mangas), how do you think the friends would react if they saw Nemona crying. Like not happy crying or fake or anything like straight-up SOBBING, and it's from NEMONA of all people to cry like that, how do you think they'd react considering their personalities in the mangas(so like Scarlet and Violet and Arven etc) because I'm intrigued what you think(and I'm glad there's more scarnemo fans)

I'm sorry for the late reply Anon

needed some time to think about this

so I did some sketches for you

and my thoughts 🫶

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berlingotesque · 3 months

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What are your ships for Batim? :D

VERY GOOD QUESTION- I know my answer should be rather straightforward but I feel I have to put some context to my answers since they may seem contradictory/paradoxical otherwise, so bear with me-

Sammy x Norman : Well. I think that one was pretty obvious, anyone who's seen more than 3 of my posts knows that I'd die for these two. They're just so PERFECT for each other, from their complementary personalities to the fact that their relationship allows us to delve deeper into batim's historical and social context. Sammy and Norman have one of the few relationships that develop the most during the game's lore : Norman originally complains vehemently about Sammy's frenetic behavior, only to end up lamenting to Buddy and Dot how 'Sammy isn't the same anymore'. What's interesting about this statement is that he says it in relation to Sammy's strange behavior : clearly, the two men have grown close enough for Norman to differentiate Sammy's extravagant habits from his ink-influenced behavior.

Furthermore, Sammy is a very gray character morally, a perfectionist who is extremely socially maladjusted (surely due to the fact that he's coded on the spectrum and autism wasn't properly diagnosed at the time), naturally ostracizing him. For his part, Norman comes from a rural background (which surely earns him the animosity of the people at the studio, given the historical context and the fact that he could very well be poc) and also seems ill at ease socially : to me, it's fascinating to see two characters excluded from their peers because of differences they can't change (being autistic or poc and gay) getting closer to each other, to the point where Sammy, who is deeply misanthropic, naturally compliments Norman by describing him as very bright. To me, Norman is the perfect partner for Sammy : ready to apprehend him as he is, since he's completely free of social conventions, without taking any shits from him.

I think Sammy and Norman can really get the best out of each other, during a historical period when being different was strongly proscribed. I think I'd have trouble enjoying Batim as much without their dynamic at its heart (considering how narratively rich it is) : Norman is Henry's confidant, Sammy is Joey's, both remain morally gray deuteragonists fundamentally opposed to the ink machine, while remaining fascinated by its powers. And who wouldn't love a good old enemies to lovers ending tragically with the unwitting murder of one by the other ? After all, Norman's main flaw is that he's too curious for his own good, and it was Sammy who inevitably led him to his doom..

Allison x Tom : what more can I add. She's everything. He's just Tom. I've always been drawn to characters/ships with a vibe completely opposite to the vibe of the work they originally came from, and the 'turning poison into positivity' energy that Tom and Allison bring to Batim has always fascinated me. In a world as tragic as their own, I find it touching to see these two find beauty in all the ugliness and manage to ask themselves 'what if we were happy after all ?' It's really striking and brings a narrative richness to the work, since they directly mirror what failed with Sammy and Susie : Allison is perfect, but that was never what was at stake in Tom's eyes. Tom was looking for humanity, not perfection, and he managed to go beyond the image of the muse to discover a friend, unlike Sammy with Susie. They're literally Romeo and Juliet but, well... Not dead.

Joey x Henry/Henry x Linda : oh boy. These three... Let me get it straight right away : Henry and Linda are perfect for each other. She's exactly what he needs to be happy : she's present, patient. There's no denying that he loves her immensely. But Joey... oh Joey is undoubtedly Henry's soul mate. The subtlety is that Joey can't bring him the stable happiness Linda can : Joey tugs at him, pushes him over the edge. He knows exactly what to do to push him beyond his own limits. The love Joey offers Henry is an uncomfortable but unconditional one, one that would allow Henry to go beyond what he thinks he's capable of achieving because no one knows Henry better than Joey ! And let's be honest, Batim only exists because Joey refuses to move on, to live his dream without Henry in it. He's stuck in unrequited love and refuses to learn to live with it. And that's the tragedy of this trio : Henry sincerely loves Linda but is truly himself with Joey, which prevents him from hating OR loving him (And Joey exploits this information by remaining extremely toxic and convincing himself that he can wear him down lmao). Henry is stuck with this dilemma : Existing peacefully with Linda or living painfully with Joey. And that's why I love the dynamic of this love triangle : because there are no solutions that will satisfy everyone.

Joey x Sammy : okay, don’t get me wrong : these two are HORRIBLE for each other. Does Sammy periodically want to quit just to piss Joey off? Yes. Isn't Joey's fascination with Sammy intimately tied to his refusal to forget Henry, who was a genius like Sammy? Yes. Nevertheless, it's impossible for me to read The Illusion of Living without feeling embarrassed and like I'm reading Joey's diary : whether you ship them or not, Joey is practically canonically smitten with Sammy. I sincerely don't think Joey and Sammy can sustain a healthy relationship with each other, but oh boy, surely that won't stop me from exploiting their bizarre obsessive love-hate relationship, where it's hard to determine whether they're going to throw hands or make out.

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blindmagdalena · 1 year

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I wonder how Homelander would react to trying Bubble Tea from a fem reader who he caught drinking in your office.

"What on God's green earth are you drinking?" Homelander's voice startles you so badly you almost drop your drink, fumbling with it for a moment. You look up, confused as to why he's in your office. Again. He sure has been lurking about your floor a lot lately. "Oh, it's bubble tea," you answer, taking a sip from the oversized straw. The subtle mortification in his eyes when he sees several tapioca pearls slide up the straw, followed by you chewing, almost makes you laugh aloud. You can't help but lift it closer to him and ask, "Do you want to try it?"

"Eugh, abso-lutely not. I can smell the sugar from here," he says, scrunching up his nose. He grimaces as you take another chewy sip. You hold out the cup again. "You sure? It's not flavored or anything, it's just milk tea." "Milk tea," he echoes with a curious lilt to his voice, narrowing his eyes. "You said it's bubble tea," he reminds you, tone low, as if he just caught you in a heinous lie. "The bubbles are the tapioca pearls, the flavor is just milk tea. Come on, try it," you insist, waving the cup out to him. "Don't tell me Homelander is afraid of a little sugary starch, tea and milk." Homelander scoffs, settling his hands on his hips. "Please. Do you really think I'm that easy to bait?" With a small shrug, you lower your drink back down, and swivel your chair back to face your desk. "Okay, whatever you—" In a flash, a crimson gloved hand yoinks your drink clean out of your hand. Whirling around, you stare incredulously up at him, watching as he shamelessly slurps from your straw. Homelander's brows furrow. The second one of the pearls hit his tongue, he pulls off the straw, chewing with the most exaggerated downturn at the corners of his mouth you've ever seen. You can't help it, you laugh as he chokes down the mouthful. "Jesus Christ, that is repulsive on all fronts," he says through a scowl, smacking his lips over and over. Reaching up, you snatch your drink right back, smiling as you pop the straw back into your mouth, enjoying another heaping slurp of it. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm very proud of you for trying a new food," you say, grinning mischievously around your straw. Homelander's mouth opens, closes, opens, and then closes again. He makes an unintelligible little noise that you think was maybe the beginning of a retort, but the words die before they make it off his tongue. He scoffs again, seemingly unable to form a coherent response. Instead, he simply spins on his heel to walk out from your office. "See you tomorrow," you call over your shoulder. You hear him pause, but you don't look back. You just sip away, facing your computer, knowing as well as he does that you're right. He may not like the bubble tea, but he clearly likes you.

#i fuckin love bubble tea HAHAHA #thanks for the ask darling this was fun #homelander x reader #homelander x you #darling anon #ask and you shall receive #my writing #crack fic #not really but it feels like one

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imminent-danger-came · 10 months

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do you think MK is gonna have a circlet arc?? Going along with your eldritch mk theory jt could parallel his past life being contained and also more parallels to SWK and MK how fun

This ask has haunted my ask box for 3 days. Circlet arc??? CIRCLET ARC???? THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE AND SO SO SO GOOD.

I have no idea if it would actually happen in show, but I have a feeling MK is at the very least going to have an "anti-circlet" arc. Go with me for a moment:

So, we know MK's bandana parallels Wukong's phoenix feathers in design, right?

MK with the two ends of his bandana and Wukong with the two feathers coming out of his cap.

However, MK's bandana is ALSO a parallel to Wukong's circlet:

And MK was given this bandana by Pigsy (presumably):

This is basically a long winded way to say that MK has already been "crowned", in a sense. Unlike Wukong, MK never needed to be controlled in the same way his mentor did at the beginning of his journey. MK, instead, was given morals and love by our wonderful Dadsy from a young age, which effectively functioned as a "circlet", if that makes sense.

So, the bandana, a symbol of both who he is/was raised to be and the crown, is already his circlet. As MK is now, he doesn't need a circlet to exert control over him because of who he is—a good kid who is trying his best to make the right choices.

But, you know, there was that really scary scene that one time where MK didn't exactly feel like MK and he kind of went off the rails...and...WHAT IS THAT

HIS BANDANA WAS DAMAGED BY HIMSELF IN AN EPISODE TITLED "Rip and Tear" !!?!??!?!?

SO.

Say MK were to rip his own bandana off, symbolically showing his complete decent into his "harbinger of chaos" role...that would mean another crown would have to go on to replace it, right?

Whether MK get's crowned symbolically with another bandana or an ACTUAL circlet remains to be seen, but the potential is definitely there! And I'm normal about it

#how fun #anon did you know SWK and MK parallels are my lifeblood #anyways #I'm completely fine!!!! I think about the line ''they will destroy you harbinger of chaos'' a normal amount!!!!!!#I'm sorry guys MK evil arc might be very real. Like not YET. Using his monkey form in the special was kinda a #Samadhi fire Mei situation where you wish it didn't have to happen but are kinda glad it did.#But like. There is going to be a time where Monkey form is not the answer yet it's the one MK gives and the bandana goes and we're FUCKED #Or at least like. That's what I'm speculating #So I don't know if MK will for sure have a circlet arc. But maybe I pray to god everyday he will. Maybe I want it really bad.#Look all I'm saying is that MK destroying his own friendship armor with his own power is NOT a good sign. Okay. thanks ilu #lmk #lmk mk #lmk theory #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #asks #eamk theory

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ratinayellowbandana · 8 months

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Hi! Number six of the drabble prompt list, and if I may suggest, with a sad jealous Laudna.

hi! I'm sorry this one took a few days. I um. got a little carried away with it again. these were only supposed to be like 500-word prompt fills, and this is uh, slightly more than that. so I hope that's ok.

for those who don't want to find the prompt, it was: "You just didn't look for me." naturally I went ep 64 with a healthy splash of canon divergence, some good old-fashioned hurt/comfort, and pate as a thinly veiled metaphor.

length: 2k

~~~

Laudna whirls on her, snaps, “We looked for you. And the others. Every fucking day.” She holds Imogen’s gaze, holds her piercing stare until Imogen tilts her head. “You just didn’t look for me,” she whispers.

Imogen steps forward, quiet but insistent. “No, sweetheart, no, we did. I did. Every day.” She does not reach out, afraid, not of Laudna–never of Laudna–but of herself. Of what she might do if given the chance at the wrong time. Her heart pounds an unsteady rhythm.

“I want to believe you,” Laudna says. She toys with the brass ring on her left hand, twisting it around her finger anxiously, twin snakes coiling. “I do, truly, it’s just…”

Imogen studies her, searching for answers in a frame both foreign and familiar. Laudna is pale and gaunt, cheeks drawn in, though that’s hardly unusual. Her stringy dark hair lacks luster in the eerie light of the red moon, crispy and clumped together in places by something Imogen can’t identify. Cast in the long shadows between buildings, Laudna is on edge, ready to claw and screech and lash out with those wicked talons if provoked. She is wild, and she is beautiful, and she is frightened.

“I understand,” Imogen speaks slowly, gently, distinctly aware of each word’s weight.

The others are still in the inn, consorting in the tavern. The Hells and their new friends, chatting, laughing, and drinking the night away, simply happy to be home. Introductions were made, and tales of grandeur waited to be spun.

Laudna had been unnervingly quiet after the initial elation wore off. Her hands remained folded in her lap or picked intently at the skin around her nails. Pâté’s silence was even more concerning. He had been coaxed out of hiding in Laudna’s hair with the promise of scratches and nudged his beak into her wrist until she began stroking his greasy fur.

She spoke when spoken to, adjusting in her seat and responding eagerly when prompted. The moment the attention shifted, though, her forced smile would drop. Every so often, she sent a furtive glance in Imogen’s direction as if to ensure she was still there, then looked away just as quickly. Exhaustion crept at the corners of her eyes, and her gaze would fall to her lap whenever the conversation turned to the adventures in Wildemount.

The group from Issylra hadn’t said much about their travels, but Imogen gathered their transplantation had not been as, ah, pleasant wasn’t quite the right word. Illustrious, maybe, Imogen considered, fussing with a seam on her new dress. Laudna’s blouse was tattered and stained with a thick substance that did not match her ichor’s usual viscosity.

Laudna had stood abruptly, muttering something about air, and disappeared outside. After making puzzled eye contact with Ashton, who tossed his head at the door and sighed heavily, Imogen followed her.

She had found Laudna around the corner, curled into herself against the wall of the Spire by Fire. A feral thing, hardened and reshaped by whatever circumstances found her while they were apart.

She has not calmed yet, and Imogen is reluctant to curb the swell of emotion that has Laudna dangling by a thread. She is tangled in it, ensnared in a knotted web, and Imogen is unsure how to extricate her. She is all jagged pieces and raw edges, a tempest of fury and loss that Imogen cannot rely on her mental connection to unravel. Laudna is something of a mystery to her now in a way she has never been, and it’s all Imogen can do to not toss her circlet to the winds.

Instead, she waits.

Laudna is muttering to herself, tugging at her clothes. Pâté flaps about her head, wings of sinew and bone making an abominably wet sound Imogen hadn’t realized she’d missed. The tip of one wing tangles in Laudna’s hair, and she swats at him irritably, sending him tumbling through the air until he manages to right himself. Imogen extends a hand, and he flies to her, settling in her palm on his hindquarters. He gives a disgruntled shake, and his wings squelch back into his body, tail coming to rest around his paws. He peers up at Imogen, then looks back to Laudna.

“I tried,” he croaks in that gravelly way of his, and Imogen strokes his disgusting little head with one finger.

“I know,” she assures gently. He could be referring to any number of moments across a lifetime, a few weeks, mere seconds ago. She sets him on her shoulder and feels pinprick claws pierce the fabric of her dress for stability. Crass and wretched as he is, Imogen can’t find it in herself to hate him. He is an extension of his maker, creepy and ungainly and off-putting, so Imogen must love him a tiny bit. She scratches under his chin, ignores the feeling of magic-touched bone, murmurs, “Thank you for keepin’ her safe.”

“Boss didn’t have the best of times without you.” He pipes up, a little rueful, in a manner Imogen assumes is meant to be quiet. Laudna, only a few feet away, catches it.

“Pâté,” she snarls. He squeaks and tucks himself into Imogen’s collar.

“He’s just confirming what I had already guessed,” Imogen defends, an attempt at lightness that doesn’t quite land. “It’s not his fault you haven’t told me anything.”

“He ought to have stayed in my head. Then he might leave well enough alone,” Launda warns.

“You don’t mean that,” Imogen counters calmly.

Laudna spits, “He should have stayed dead.”

“Hey.”

She huffs a sardonic, dry laugh. “Not everyone deserves second chances.”

Imogen inhales sharply.

There it is.

“Laudna…” She softens. She cups Pâté protectively. His fur oddly damp against her skin. She takes a cautious step forward.

The pieces begin slotting into place, building the frame for a jarring picture of something severe enough to reopen this old wound.

The fight sapped from her limbs, Laudna slides her back down the wall until she sits in the filth and dirt of the alleyway with her knees drawn close to her chest. Imogen winces as rough stone drags across jutting bone and paper-thin skin.

“Are you… Do you want to be alone?” She asks–because what else can she do?– and half-fears the answer.

Laudna’s head jerks up, and something Imogen can’t decipher flashes in her eyes. After a moment, her head shakes minutely, and Imogen lets out a relieved sigh.

Tense silence leaches from the pores of the building’s rocky exterior.

“We tried to find you all. Every day. We didn’t–we didn’t know where we were. Where anyone was, and–” Laudna breathes at last. “Orym was… was angry. Vengeful. And Ashton…. He was our friend.”

“Ashton?”

“I hurt him,” Laudna continues as if Imogen hadn’t spoken at all.

“Hurt who?”

She shudders. “I killed him, not Prism.” Inky tears well from eyes pressed shut. Her voice is impossibly soft, hollow, seeming to ask, Do you hate me yet?

The narrative is convoluted at best. Imogen fruitlessly attempts to splice together the fragments of memory slipping through Laudna’s teeth like snowflakes, to arrange them into a cohesive whole among the scraps she gathered at the table. The Issylra group returned rattled, apprehensive and tense, but this is deeper. Laudna is shaken.

“Wasn’t he a member of the Ruby Vanguard?”

“He was confused, just like the rest of us. Angry at the gods.” Laudna’s eyes flicker to the glowing red moon. Her fist, clenched in her hair, tightens. “And I killed him.”

Imogen steps closer. “We’ve all killed people.”

Laudna shakes her head. Her voice hardens once more. “I don’t begrudge you the shopping or fraternizing with royalty or, or whatever else it was,” she says lowly, “But we didn’t have that. We didn’t save a toy store or home-cooked breakfasts. We spent every moment fighting to get back to you. And now,” she swallows, “we must reckon with the cost.”

She is utterly exhausted; Imogen can see in the dim light. Although bone-weary and at her wits’ end, Laudna’s elegant cheekbones curl with shadows that twist and hide in her skirts. Hunched and fearful as she is, Laudna is still hauntingly beautiful. Something warms in Imogen’s chest.

“You did what you had to do to survive,” she says, “No one can fault you for that.”

“I’m sorry.” Laudna’s voice breaks, fracturing in tandem with Imogen’s heart, and she sobs. “I’m sorry.”

“No, Laud, no–” Imogen crouches next to her, yearning to touch, to take Laudna in her arms and bite and hiss and growl at anyone who dares approach. She restrains herself, carefully plucking Pâté from her shoulder and setting him on the ground between them. He turns to her skeptically as if to say, Really? After what she said? Imogen nudges him in Laudna’s direction. He sniffs, beak in the air, and ruffles his fur before bounding to Laudna’s ankles and putting his weird, cold little dead rat toes against her shin. She ignores the pawing fragment of her soul, ashamed.

“I’m sorry,” Laudna mutters, “I must seem…I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

Laudna begins incredulously, “I–”

“You survived,” Imogen reiterates, “against gods and people powerful enough to destroy them.” She sighs, “I sent you a message every day, you know? Sometimes more than once, if I’m honest, ‘till my nose bled and Deanna had to patch me up.” Imogen offers a half-smile. “All I got was static. I just had to hope you were out there, somewhere, lookin’ for me, too.”

Laudna looks as if she might melt into herself, refusing to look at Imogen. Her shoulders shake, and she confesses with a gasp, “She’s back. I brought her back.”

Imogen’s blood chills, but her tone remains neutral. “Who, Laud?”

At last, Laudna meets her gaze, eyes wide and wet and horror-struck. “Delilah.”

The name hangs between them like a stone ready to drop and shatter and bury itself into their flesh. Searing rage erupts in Imogen’s veins.

“I’m sorry,” Laudna shrinks back, “I’m so sorry. To all of you. You all gave so much to–to find me. And–”

“It’s not your fault,” Imogen interjects.

“–and I wasn’t…I was weak. I lost control.”

“Laudna,” Imogen cuts her off with the steely calm of a thunderstorm on the horizon. She cannot afford to process this now, not when Laudna is trembling in an alley. Not when Laudna, unmoored and terrified, needs her to be an anchor. No, Imogen will save her questions and unfiltered anger, for another time. A time when Laudna is safe and warm and at no risk of coming unraveled in her hands. When Laudna is in a place to know Imogen’s wrath is not, could never be, directed at her.

“Laudna,” Imogen repeats, because she cannot bear the thought of her not understanding, “this is not your fault. None of this.” She does reach out, then, offering a lifeline should Laudna choose to accept it. She does, hesitantly, as if waiting for Imogen to recoil. Her fingers are cool, bird-light against Imogen’s red-scarred palm. Laudna seems to notice at the same time.

“Imogen,” she exclaims, words still tear-tinged and quivering, “your hands. They’re–are you alright?”

“Oh, they–they don’t hurt, usually. Promise. I’m fine.”

“I should have–I’m sorry, I suppose I was–”

“Laudna,” Imogen interrupts again, not unkindly, “please.”

It’s then that Laudna seems to notice Pâté clawing his way up her skirt. She scoops him up and holds him to her, murmuring apologies into his fur.

“‘S’okay, boss,” he rasps, squished against his maker’s chest, “I can’t hold a grudge.”

They sit like that, hand-in-hand, hand-on-rat, until the easy stroke of Imogen’s thumb against Laudna’s has smoothed out the worst of the jagged edges. Until the tension falls from Laudna’s spine and she relaxes into Imogen’s touch.

“The others are surely wondering where we’ve gone.”

Imogen shrugs, snorts, “There’re so many people at that table I think they’d hardly notice two missing.”

“Still,” Laudna says, “we ought to get back.”

“Do you want to?” It’s her choice. It always will be if Imogen can help it.

Laudna considers. “I think I’d rather like to hear the end of Chetney’s story from the Savalirwood.”

“Oh gods,” Imogen groans, flushing at the memory, “no, you don’t.”

“Fearne and Deanna, hm?”

“Best to let them tell it.”

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wisteriagoesvroom · 21 days

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Can we have an overview of you girl!lando 🥺🥺 like the aesthetic and maybe a glimpse or her playlist 🙏

yesss of course. snippets of lyrics i’ve put here before. (will post the playlist once the fic is out!)

moodboard, well you got me trying out the pinterest collage function for the first time so thank you for that too—

#girl!lando fic #landoscar #814 #it was actually really fun doing the collage!!#wiz.wips #maybe I’ll use this moodboard for the fic post too ha thanks for compelling me to do this #anon :]#and hey i worry sometimes I give away too much of the fic before I post #but you know what we’re all here for fun #so like fuck it #we ball #asks

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breadandblankets · 12 days

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Consider: AU where Duke was raised by Gnomon

there are many ways i would like this to go, evil Duke is an option but honestly? i want divorced single father Gnomon having a bad time

Duke is one of those kids that just keeps asking "why" on a loop indefinitely until you give up, please consider the kind of education Gnomon would have to provide his genius son in order to keep him entertained, because an understimulated Duke is Not something Anyone wants to have

Doug and Elaine substituted some of this with like the library and collective community action what's Gnomon gonna do? world domination? smh my head

and then when he gets older? grandiosity is left at the door. "you are the heir of my immortal blood" "and you are a glowing pain in the ass fuck off old man"

the thing about Doug and Elaine is that they Earned Duke's respect and so he loves them and is kind to them, Gnomon didn't earn Shit his ego is too big for that so Duke doesn't respect him even a little

Gnomon would have such divorced dad energy too, something Duke will definitely make fun of him for when he's older, and especially something along the lines of "you can't buy your childs love have you tried just being less of an ass"

Duke definitely went to the school of "just traumatize your dad back" okay I firmly believe this

#duke thomas #gnomon #batfam #asks #this was really fun thank you anon!!#bread talk

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bambi-kinos · 2 months

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I just came across your analysis of However Absurd and thought it was lovely. I'm curious, as someone who thinks John and Paul had some kind of romantic or sexual relationship, what is your take on The Lovers That Never Were? Is he using the word "lovers" to mean "partners"? I have always interpreted it to mean that Paul knows there was something there but it never happened. Every time I start to be convinced that they were together in some way I think of this song and the devastating way Paul sings it in the demo and the heartbreaking fact that he still felt it that intensely 13 years after John's death.

Oh wow thank you! The server had a lot of fun discussing that, if it's good it's because I had a little help from my friends heheh (─‿‿─) ♡

I ended up writing a massive novel in response to all this so I hope you enjoy reading it heheh. For server members, I've pulled some quotes from my previous Discord essays on this topic so you'll see some stuff that you've read.

tl;dr - I don't think "The Lovers That Never Were" contradicts the secret relationship theory at all! I think it compliments it very well actually.

In order to get into All That, I will outline how I perceive what their relationship was built on and how they reacted to it. I should note that I don't consider this definitive. It's important to remember that we all have unique interpretations of John and Paul because of our experiences and our personal POVs. There is no single answer until Paul decides to tell us what happened and/or Sean publishes John's diaries (written and audio). Until that happens, we are all forced to look at the same material and draw our own conclusions which will naturally be shaped through our personal perceptions. Some of us are older and are much closer to the original culture that John and Paul were raised in; some of us are younger and grew up in a much more LGBT+ positive environment. This naturally has an impact on how we interpret John and Paul's relationship.

I say this because I know my POV on John and Paul is a bit different from everyone else's. I'm a historian by training but part of being a historian is the understanding that you will never fully understand the events as they happened because your personal viewpoint and inherent bias is simply too strong. But that's okay because this is a part of humanity that we all share, yeah? With that understanding LET'S GO!

Paul My view on Paul is that he's always understood that he's different from other men. I doubt he could put a name to it until very recently. Paul has synesthesia, he's bisexual, he connects to music in a savant-like way, he's neurodivergent which is why he takes criticism so hard, and all of that would still be true even if he didn't have left over emotional issues from his mother dying the way she did + his fraught relationship with his father.

Keep in mind that circumstantial evidence points to the idea that Paul orchestrated the meeting at the fête! He realized he had a mutual friend with John in Ivan (who is to say that he did not meet Ivan at a QM performance and had that mental realization there?) He went through Hot Girl Summer before and after the fête, wanting to be fucking fit so that he wasn't embarrassed to meet John! I did the same thing when I had a crush as a teenager!

So with all that in mind, imagine this: you're Paul McCartney. You met John Lennon barely a year after Mary died. You turned 15 on June 18th, 1957 and met John at the fête on July 6, 1957. At some undetermined point before this garden party you saw a beautiful boy on the bus and began riding it obsessively hoping the Teddie boy would get on it. You followed him to the chippie and stood in line behind him…allegedly because you thought "oh wow he looks so cool." Marky Mark thinks (and I agree) that you may have even followed John to at least one Quarry Man show before the fête. Is this 'normal' behavior? Or is this the unhinged behavior of a teenager with a massive crush? The kind that comes about when you see a cute boy with red hair, and red is the color you associate with happiness, and then you find out that he plays guitar just like you and you follow him around until you see one of his performances and he's so good he knocks you back and then someone says "hi Paul, I didn't know you liked music!" behind you. And you realize that it's your friend and that you can meet the boy you have a crush on through this friend. You just need to lose weight and grow your hair out first.

When did Paul first see John, anyway? Before he turned 15 I'd wager.

I submit the idea that Paul has been in love John Lennon for his entire life. It will be 67 years of love when this July 6th rolls around. John was making a name for himself, he was known around town as "that Lennon." A minor celebrity like we’ve all had in our hometowns. Paul loved music. Before the internet you would go to the town square to hear a band.

Paul did that. Saw John. Pursued him with intent. When John went to Gambier Terrace to be with Stuart, Paul made a nuisance of himself showing up at their parties and playing the proto-version of "Michelle" in front of the girls…and John.

I love you, I love you, I love you That's all I want to say Until I find a way I will say the only words I know that You'll understand

I don't think that a 15 year old Paul McCartney would explicitly label his feelings for John as 'love' or a 'crush' but I do think that's what happened. When you're a teenager, a crush can express itself in many different ways. I used to have a big crush on a girl who was a volleyball player at my junior high school…that expressed itself as intense admiration. I even told one of my friends that I thought she was 'really cool.' It wasn't until later that I realized that I had a crush on her.

But I think that Paul has always known that he's 'different' and that he wasn't like other boys while growing up. Part of his touchiness about his looks comes from being bullied but I also think that he's a lot more self aware than he pretends to be. I think he realized relatively fast how he felt about John (maybe once John picked up with Stuart and Cynthia at art college.) I think he carried that with him for years hence his anguished response to being jilted in Hamburg and how furious he was at John for running off to Spain with Brian. He didn't realize it immediately but once it sticks to you then it fucking sticks. I think that Paul has done a lot internal wrestling with being a bisexual man and what that means for him and that he has been wrestling with it for decades. I think he was fully in the grip of that wrestling as he and John's friendship began growing and Paul realized what was happening to him. He does enjoy women but I also think that he felt it was necessary to pursue them heavily as a young man to camouflage himself.

I don't think a day has gone by since 1957 where Paul has not known what he was. What exactly that means for him…is up for interpretation. That's where the gray area is. But IMO Paul has almost always known that he's sexually attracted to other men and that John woke this in him. The big question for Paul is what he should do about it.

John There's been a lot written about John and his sexuality that I won't rehash here but truthfully I think John was in a similar place to Paul in knowing that he's always had a sexual preference for other men. John was a lot less comfortable about it though. Having unprotected sex with his girlfriends was, IMO, John trying to subconsciously engineer a situation that would "fix" him via an accidental pregnancy necessitating a marriage.

Of course that didn't do anything because it never does. John still felt chemistry with Paul when they met at the fête, with that quote about them "circling each other like cats." IMO John felt something immediately -- it's not entirely clear what -- though I don't think it "love at first sight" like with Paul. IMO their friendship, while still rooted in that chemistry, developed very naturally for John and he got to enjoy a platonic relationship with Paul before he put it all together. I say this because John saw Paul as a kid, not a peer, and that this endured for their lives in Liverpool pre-Hamburg. I struggle to imagine John or Paul deliberately inciting sexual or romantic contact during that time period aside from the group wank sessions (which were really trolling sessions from John.) Like, when Julia died, John went out and sought peers at art college like Cynthia and Stuart, other students his age. John and Paul bonded over losing their mothers and Paul has that quote about pranking people with the "oh yeah…my mum's dead thanks <3" bit but it also seems like John didn't want to be around that all the time. He lost his Uncle George and then his mother, he was starting to think that he was a death-curse on men in his family and that he brought suffering with him. He wanted to be away from that so he took a vacation from music to get a chance of scenery. Which meant putting Paul in a place of competition with Stuart and Cyn but I don't think John was thinking of that initially (though he exploited the situation later.)

Then Hamburg happens and they run wild. I have an entire meta about this that you can read here but I genuinely think John did not see Paul as a full fledged adult and potential sexual partner until they were in Hamburg in the red light district. I think that something happened there that we don't know about, that it's tied up in Stuart deciding to be with Astrid, John jilting Paul, Paul saying "fuck you I'm done" and getting a job at the coil winding factory in Liverpool after being deported, John tracking Paul down and spending weeks (probably) groveling and then giving Paul an ultimatum to come back to the Beatles. All of that screams 'I just realized I'm in love with my best friend and I'm freaking the fuck out' to me lmao.

John and Paul Of course something else changed after that too and John and Paul ended up becoming so close that even the Liverpool squares around them noticed. I think that whatever was going in their relationship, it started here. In the place where John and Paul were equally distraught with each other, the future of the band was uncertain, and Paul wanted a sign of commitment from John so that he didn't feel like he wasted years of his life. And of course John always felt compelled to be the man Paul wanted him to be so he treated Paul to a vacation in Paris which was so life affirming for them that it stayed with them for the rest of their lives. IMO the Paris vacation was explicitly romantic for them.

I think a switch flipped in 1961 and they went from "messing around" to "there's something there." It erupted in Paris and they showed each other more understanding and care then they expected from each other. John did sexy pin up poses for Paul in a bed that they shared; John remembers how the French held each other in their arms and just kissed each other, lovingly; Paul felt that he discovered the answer and that all those big name philosophers had nothing on the self realization he came to inside himself. Paul even took a photo of John that high lighted his package! Thanks to @louiselux for pointing this one out:

The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing. — John Lennon, Playboy interview 1980

“We were like Paris existentialists. Jean-Paul Sartre had nothing on us. Sod ‘em all - I could write a novel… It was all inside me. I could do anything now.”

Paul McCartney, Anthology

Something happened in Paris and it wasn't just them getting haircuts and John buying Paul milkshakes. There was commitment there. And then the spell comes over them again when they return in January 1964:

The first night, John and Paul stayed in their suite, listening to records and reading fan mail. George, who had been signed for 100 pounds a day by the Daily Express to write of his experiences in Paris, went to a nightclub in the Place Pigalle.

Back in the City of Light, John and Paul slept till three o'clock in the afternoon. That much everybody agreed on.

Quote by Vincent Mulchrone from Daily Mail: George Harrison was astir early, but John Lennon and Paul McCartney slumbered on until frantic photographers forced them at lens point into the Champs-Élysées.

Derek Taylor (a British journalist) wanted to know why the Beatles slept so much. "My office wants to know what they're doing in Paris, so they'd better be doing something."

Love Me Do by Michael Braun

But I know what you're thinking. "What the hell does this all have to do with these two songs?"

And my reply is to keep a few things in mind:

Paul takes criticism and slights incredibly hard, possibly overreacting in some places and letting them overwhelm him mentally.

He never got over Barcelona, he never stopped resenting Stuart and Brian, he never got over John pulling the rug out from under him regarding the order of their names in the song credits. He contemplated committing suicide by smothering himself while he was in Scotland recovering from John leaving him.

John Lennon had a baby with a woman in the middle of all this. Julian Lennon was born April 8, 1963, conceived in July 1962, less than a year after Paris.

However Absurd & The Lovers That Never Were I listened to "However Absurd" and "The Lovers That Never Were" in that order. My immediate reaction is that these are both the same kind of song: they are both expressing sadness and frustration with John. This is a common theme with Paul's post-1980 John songs. What I find interesting is that they depict different though related gripes regarding John. In "However Absurd" Paul is expressing his longing for a cottagecore fantasy romance with John and then expressing frustration at John mocking him for it:

Ears twitch, like a dog Breaking eggs in a dish Do not mock me when I say This is not a lie

But in "The Lovers That Never Were" Paul expresses a different gripe: frustration that John won't commit to him and "anticipating" the break up that he secretly knew was coming ever since 1963 when John abandoned him and his own son to play patty-cake with Brian in Spain:

I hang patiently on every word you send Will we ever be much more than just friends? As for you, you sit there playing this game You keep me waiting

When all of the clocks have run down All over the world We'll be the lovers that never were

For as long as the sun shines in somebody's eyes I believe in you baby, so don't tell me lies For as long as the trees throw down blossoms and leaves I know there will be a parade of unpainted dreams

And I know dear, how much it's going to hurt If you still refuse to get your hands dirty So you, you must tell me something… I love you Say goodbye or anything

All of the clocks have run down Time's at an end If we can't be lovers we'll never be friends

John's penchant for disregarding Paul's feelings and even weaponizing them against Paul; the dashing of Paul's cottagecore dreams that were made and solidified in Paris; the fact that John, no matter what his intentions, could not get his shit together and commit to Paul no matter what he may have felt. These two songs are not contradictory to one another. Paul's idea of "commitment" looks very much like what he had with Linda and John in 1967: sharing a home, sharing a bed, being together every day, preferably somewhere green and remote. Exclusivity. Remember that Paul deliberately sabotaged his relationship with Jane Asher by nailing a woman in their bed when Jane came home, knowing perfectly well that he was breaking their exclusivity agreement.

That IMO, is what makes someone a lover and not just a friend you have sex with and secretly pine for. No cheating, or at least your agreed version of it. No disrespecting the relationship. Continuously being together. What did John do instead of this?

I think that Paul started out his "relationship" with John carrying high hopes and then watched them crumble to dust, over and over, because John simply did not take him seriously. He got Cynthia pregnant, he ran around on Paul with Brian, he had the nerve to flip out on Jane Asher when Paul brought her around when he was the one who couldn't stay faithful to Cynthia.

My hot take is that these songs demonstrate that Paul simply could not imagine John ever truly committing to him and treating him as a true partner. The homophobia and yes ~society~ is in there too but Paul was happy to flout this when it came to just about anyone else, traipsing all over France with Fraser and Mal. The difference is that he flat out didn't trust John. Being jilted for Stuart in Hamburg loomed too big in his head. Cynthia and Julian loomed too big in his head. Brian and Barcelona, realizing that John would happily betray whatever agreements or understandings he had with Paul simply to screw Paul out of a deal, loomed too big in his head. I think in particular its Barcelona that made Paul think John didn't value any of their professed ideals. John broke Paul's heart years before Yoko came along.

He didn't trust John. Fatalism is easier than taking control of your own life sometimes, and in Paul's mind there was no reason to believe John was genuine. Like, Paul knew John very well! He had very good reason to think that John was simply not serious about him. And John, no matter what his intentions were, proved that correct over and over and over and over.

So ultimately, I think that's what these songs are about. The melodies don't necessarily reflect this when I listened to them but I think that "The Lovers That Never Were" in particular is juxtaposing bitter wink-and-nod lyrics with an oddly perky tune. It's Paul laughing at himself for ever thinking John was willing to commit. He's mocking himself because while he allowed himself to get swept up in the dream of a possible genuine relationship with John, he knew deep down that it would go the way it did. That John would find a reason to get tired of him and abandon him. And then when Yoko came along, that's exactly what John did. Paul fatalistically accepted that the time had come and John met Paul's low expectations of him.

The Weight I don't think John and Paul necessarily planned to have a secret relationship. It seems more like they bundled the sexual/romantic stuff into their "thing" where it was just part and parcel of who they were and what they did. "It's only gay if the balls touch" etc. At some point that changed but Paul became convinced early on that it wouldn't work out so he didn't acknowledge his own secret desires and dreams. There was no roadmap between him and John about where they were taking this exactly and how they were going to make it work. He had sex with John and even engaged with romantic actions with John, hoping against hope that something would change and he would be proven wrong, but then John would be careless and Paul would collapse into hurt.

And oh yeah: Paul never, ever discussed any of this with John Lennon. He never told John how hurt he was because he didn't want to put up with John's derision. He felt devalued and lost and in typical Paul fashion he chose to ignore this for years and never bring it up, forcing it to come out in bizarre nonsensical actions when he inevitably boiled over. Why would he choose to confront it? He made sure to set up several safety nets to catch him! Jane and the Ashers, striking out on his own with "The Family Way" score, rubbing John's face in his escapades with other males as a way to go 'see, I don't need you just like you don't need me. How about THAT?'

I don't think John ever intended to hurt Paul as badly as he did. He thought that if Paul was upset about something then he would know via their ~telepathic connection.~ I think that he deliberately overlooked warning signs because he felt intensely guilty about certain actions he took (God only knows which ones) and that he helped himself not see Paul's hurt. I do think if he had the slightest idea of what was going on in Paul's head then he would have changed tactics immediately out of fear of losing Paul forever. But at heart John was a coward and if he didn't want to see something was wrong then he wouldn't see it unless something forced his hand. Like say, having his former best friend/ex-lover look him in the eye and go "I can write new songs" and kill The Beatles in a court of law. (And of course once he realized what he had done, years after the fact, it was too little too late. He couldn't take it back. How do you make up for inflicting that much hurt on someone that you supposedly care for? This paralyzed John for years.)

This was obviously a huge mistake and I think it was one of the landmines that blew their relationship up. Paul allowed his distrust and bitterness to overwhelm him. He should have been honest with John about his feelings; maybe not immediately but when they were able to look back with some perspective. Paul should have realized that their relationship could take heat. He should have trusted John more and if he had then John could have risen to the occasion. Everything could have been different. No more "I believe in you baby, so don't tell me lies." No more "Do not mock me when I say/This is not a lie."

He even expresses this in a third song, one that IMO puts this entire thing into perspective and ties these three songs together with a neat bow. "This One":

youtube

Did I ever take you in my arms, look you in the eye Tell you that 'I do?' Did I ever open up my heart And let you look inside?…

Did I ever touch you on the cheek Say that you were mine, thank you for the smile? Did I ever knock upon your door Try to get inside?…

Please take note of the bolded "Tell you that 'I do'!" Paul's deepest regret with regards to John is not trusting him more. He wishes that he had opened up to John about his hurt and how he angry he was that John was devaluing their relationship. That he wanted to commit to John but that he was scared John wouldn't say 'I do' back.

From John's POV he's just being John; he's looking out for the band. God knows he tried to be what Paul needed him to be but he got mixed signals and inconsistent behavior and Paul's ice queen behavior frustrated him to no end. This resulted in an endless circle of "fuck you/no no no, fuck YOU/well fuck you then!/fuck you" that ended up killing what they had.

But John is guilty in this too. He never made himself accountable to Paul. He didn't explain his actions. He acted rashly and selfishly and then was shocked when it blew up in his face. He didn't consistently act like he loved Paul. He took Paul for granted and told himself that he was doing the right thing, because changing your behavior is very very hard. He didn't let Paul in when it mattered.

Did you ever take me in your arms Look me in the eye, tell me that 'you do?'

As Paul grew up and he started to come to grips with the "What happened" of it all, maybe he realized that he had procrastinated. That he put off what mattered most because he couldn't bear to make himself vulnerable as a young man. Maybe he was waiting for a perfect moment to open himself up to John knowing perfectly well it would never arrive, a common delaying tactic for insecure and avoidant people. Not admitting that the perfect moment would never come and that he had to extend trust to receive it in return.

If I never did it, I was only waiting For a better moment that didn't come There never could be a better moment Than this one, this one

I think he's still angry at John for multiple betrayals, slaps to the face, and devaluing the specialness of their relationship and their affection for each other. But I also think that Paul is angry at himself for not trusting John, for not working harder at their relationship. He also delivered multiple betrayals and slaps to the face to John, feeding John's insecurity and fears of abandonment. Making a mockery of their relationship and how special it was. Paul has been doing public penance for this ever since John died, which snapped everything into perspective and he finally realized the full scope of his own screw ups.

Because it took two to destroy a relationship this intense and this special. If Paul did not know that before...

Well. He does now.

#the beatles #mclennon #john lennon #paul mccartney #mclennon meta #my meta #mclennon server #this was a really fun ask anon thank you!

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spearxwind · 1 year

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I've been thinking about how you've made Talas' physique even MORE powerful lately. And now I'm just imagining him, one-armed, chucking Graves like the world's angriest javelin at their common enemies.

That's genuinely so in character that I had to draw it. Average hunting tactic... and Graves would be all too excited for it, honestly

#in all seriousness honestly im really glad !! This is kind of what i always imagined talas would actually look like :]#i just wasnt confident enough to draw him like that initially but little by little ive gotten better at conveying his body type properly #and i genuinely want him to come across as strong as hell even besides the fact that hes big. like i wanna convey it in shape too #he literally kills huge sea monsters for a living as a day job and then kills the other people who hunt those monsters for fun #and hes banned from walking into any tavern unless he drops his whole paycheck at the counter as soon as he enters #he should simply look the part so im trying my best for that. i have to do him justice #anyway thank u i hope u enjoy this too. i was gonna draw graves just being chucked on their own but then i drew the harpoon #and i thought it was so hilarious to have them on that instead than chucked like a football (which would also happen)#but in said case they'd be less excited about it #if u read all of this also props to you heres a present. its fish (slaps you in the face with it)#windyart #ask #anon #scribble comic #talas #graves #challenger deep

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cerise-on-top · 2 months

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Hiiii how are you?? Id like to request farah finds out reader is ticklish and uses it agenist them when reader is in a bad mood and being rude to everyone

(Sorry if this is really silly btw🫶🏻🫶🏻)

Hey! I'm doing well! Got a surge of motivation to write before therapy! This ask was just the right amount of silly actually! It was very fun to write!

Cheer Up Tickles with Farah

She’d likely find out when she wraps an arm around your waist and her fingers twitch a bit for a moment, making you react a little bit. Unfortunately, she’d pick up on that immediately, raise her eyebrow and give you a knowing smile. It’s a slightly cocky one as well, because she knows your weakness now, so if she ever felt like it, she could destroy you. Farah might poke you from time to time, but it usually won’t go farther than that. However, if you’re being especially grumpy for no reason whatsoever and you’re being rude to everyone, that might change.

At first she’d just poke your side, gauge your reaction. You can cuss her out all you want, she’s not going to let up just yet. It’s then that you can either cheer up and apologize to her, or feel her wrath and tickles. However, given your ask, you don’t cheer up, instead noticing, with horror in your eyes, that you messed up. Farah would wiggle her fingers at you before pouncing like a tiger that got its first prey in three days. Although she may go easy on you at first, letting you struggle so you feel as though you have a chance of getting away, there’s no way she’d just let you go like that. You can squirm all you want, you’re trapped underneath her since she’s a very strong fighter. You’re not going to escape her grasp, you’re going to get tickled and teased to oblivion and back. Once you’re calm, she’d start teasing you a bit before going in for the kill.

Farah wouldn’t even hesitate to be gentle in the beginning, she’s gonna get you good from the get go, straddling you and squeezing your sides. Try to throw her off all you want, you can’t. It’s fun to her if you struggle a bit as well, it makes it all the more challenging for her. While she may not know just yet where your weak spots are, she’ll find them quickly enough, staying in one spot for a few moments before switching to your armpits, for example. If you trap her fingers there she’s gonna have a field trip. No matter how much you’re laughing at that point, she’ll tease you about being less grumpy already and how you’re smiling like a goof. How adorable you are and how she should just tickle you more often when she has the time to do so.

Naturally, she’s a leader, so she needs to make sure all her loved ones are doing well, therefore she needs to check up on your ribs as well. Counts them, prods at them, vibrates her fingers between them to make sure you haven’t sustained any injuries. If you’re completely healthy, then she’ll say so, but she also needs to make sure your tummy is in good condition. Lifts up your shirt and starts scribbling away to make sure everything is in order. However, as time goes on, she’d grow a bit hungry and nibble at your sides and your ribs as well. Besides, while she may need to be sated, she also wants to share something delicious with you as well. So naturally, kind as she is, she gives you some raspberries.

However, once she notices your laughter having gone silent, or when there are a lot of tears streaming down your face, that’s when she’ll slow down a bit, before stopping entirely. Your dazed, cute face is just too adorable, though, so she’ll lean over to give you a kiss on your forehead and wipe away your tears with her thumb. Once she sees that you’ve been cheered up, she’ll get off of you, put your shirt over your tummy again and laugh a bit about how tired you seem all of a sudden. You weren’t this tired yet when you were cussing her out still. Pats your tummy one last time and helps you up, even if you don’t need her help. You seem out of it a bit, but not unhappy.

Farah doesn’t mind having tickle fights with you every once in a while. However, be warned, if you ever decide to tickle her first, then I can assure you that she’s going to get her revenge. Besides, she can hold her reactions in quite well. Much to your dismay, she’s also rather observant, so she’s going to figure out which spots make you scream fairly quickly. She’s always so serious anyway, so sometimes you just need to let loose and be a little goofy. Loves getting to be silly with you from time to time, even if it’s just through play fighting and tickling one another.

#cod #cod x reader #farah karim #farah karim x reader #tickling is such a fun concept to me. you get to make someone laugh just by touching them gently #you get to goof around with them and playfully fight them. it's absolutely adorable. but I know many people disagree with me on that one #still Farah as a ler would be a little menace as fun as it would be #I do think about the characters as lers more often than I would like to admit in all honesty. it's just so fun and sweet #besides just goofing around with Farah sounds like a dream to me #getting to be silly and stupid over essentially nothing is fun I wish she was real so I could fight her a bit #but alas #still I get to write about her having a good time and that's what's important! no angst in sight baby!!! just silly!!#I love writing silly and fluff! my favorite genres! I can vibe to that since it doesn't break my heart!#but now I'm off to therapy so I can't write too much in the tags!#thank you for the ask it was really fun! have a nice day anon!

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