#training to feel good

[themistyfootprints]

I officially finished my summer job/internship last week, and oh boy was I shattered and immensely relived. Slept around the clock for a couple of nights, cried some rivers, and started getting back on my feet. It's really not okay how a "mere summerjob" can be such a soul crushing experience, but it was, and there is nothing I can change about it now. I can only focus on taking care of myself now that I'm finally on a vacation for four whole weeks before school starts again in autumn. I have zero motivation for school though but am trying not to think about it too much yet since I know I'm also very tired, which affects everything.

Anyway, despite the exhaustion, I managed to get out on Sunday to go kayaking with a new friend. They are like a ridiculously cool human, and I just hope they'll want to keep doing thing with me. I mean, what were the chances that one meets another very queer human on a random kayaking course and clicks over hobbies and interests before anything else. Well, that happened with D, and this was the second time we went kayaking just the two of us, and even started planning some day hikes. I just hope this friendship doesn't escape me.

#and today ill see my brother for a bike ride #i will get better and life will get better and i wont be this exhausted forever #D #finally a tag for a friend #training to feel good #personal

[bioethicists]

it's actually terrifying how quickly the concept of self care (originally a radical concept rooted in the black panther party's efforts to support other black ppl living through racism) became another tool of self-management which is viewed as both a moral obligation + an individual responsibility. businesses + employers + other institutions now easily wield it as a progressive way to say "if you're upset about xyz, make yourself get over it". "we are going to treat you like shit + you need to learn how to cope with that or else you're doing something wrong"

i have seen job listings where "ability to practice self care" was listed as a requirement for employment. as a case worker, we were repeatedly drilled on "self-care" as a response to unconscionably high case loads, traumatizing experiences, dead end job obligations, + poor living conditions due to subpar pay/high stress. my clients would go to appointments regarding their evictions, food insecurity, active domestic violence situations, etc + receive tips on "self care" without any tangible community, legal, or structural support to follow.

everyone absolutely deserves to care for themselves + it is useful to circulate affirmations + advice on how to do this. this should happen within communities, through a sincere concern/love for one another, as a way of helping everyone live the best life possible while we work towards total liberation. it should not be a replacement for caring for one another!!! it should be one of many ways of caring for one another!!!

#they once made me go to a training about how to turn off your feelings before working with institutionalized clients #literally stating that empathy + emotions are what cause burnout when working in the mental health field #i wish i was making that up i really truly do #i probably still have screenshots lmao #anyway remember when i was institutionalized myself because i was too good at turning off all my feelings??? #cuz i do. #anti psychiatry

[brainrotcharacters]

the man trained by the shimotsuki since childhood, the mind behind the three sword style, the demon pirate hunter, vice captain of the Strawhat Pirates,

easily stopped with a hand on his shoulder by his captain (currently in a silly hungry vibe)

#he blink #HE'S SO CUTE #help #zolu #zoro #luffy #one piece live action #one piece #roronoa zoro #monkey d. luffy #my thinking is that zoro's survivalist (glorified anxiety) instincts found some peace in Luffy's presence at this point in the opla #any other person who tries to pull zoro back by the shoulder the way luffy just did? gone. zoro is suddenly fruit ninja again #any other person who even tries to REACH for him gets sliced n diced #especially to reach from behind him which is a general blind spot #someone with zoro's training would know how to track what happens in his blind spots #but someone with zoro's heart recognized luffy and said 'oy chill he's good he's the homie' #outside of his fight or flight mode #zoro feels safe enough now (in Luffy's presence) to become his true self #A Tired Stormcloud Character #who's going to tell opla zoro this is only the start #Strawhat shenanigans #on another note his earrings are so fkn pretty like *makes grabby hands*

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 5: Flip Slip.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #mdzs au #Yungmang Jiang Training Arc AU #lan wangji #wei wuxian #digital art #Trying out some digital techniques to see if I can get closer to feel/style of my traditional comics. #So far the biggest difference is *colouring* Digital colouring feels...not good. I have complained about this before and I'll complain agai #Before we get into the sad stuff with Yungmeng Jiang in the PD-MDZS comics lets have some lighthearted fun! #Remember that if anything bad happens to these Jiang disciples in the canon comic - they are happy in this AU B'*) #I think one of the funniest things about the teenxian dynamic is how WWX accidently finds things that get LWJ to feel flustered. #My guy wwx goes 'I'm going to lightly bully/tease this nerd 'cause his reactions are funny.' and LWJ goes “My god. He's everything to me.” #Part two of the fun part of this dynamic is that LWJ is ever so lightly self aware enough to LOATHE THIS CRUSH. #Hence why I have been marinating on this 'Accidental Lan headband miscommunication' concept. #This is how LWJ assumes that WWX knows what the band means in this AU. This will be relevant later. #And YES! I am still going to be making comics for this AU. I have so many ideas I simply can't hold onto forever.

[dingdangit]

Thinking about Crowley researching safe foods for ducks....

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #linz originals #my art #ive been lookin at it too long. take it before i hate it. #im not kidding the gomens feelings have hit me like a freight train. im about to be so embarrassing

[sleepyskydraws]

Inktober day 18 - Saddle

#this one did not come out the way I wanted #but it was harder than I anticipated #and I can feel my brain melting at this point #and I'll get really frustrated if I try to force it to see if I can make it look good for me #so yeah this is it for today #digital art #artists on tumblr #fanart #inktober #inktober 2023 #httyd #how to train your dragon #toothless httyd #hiccup httyd

[beescake]

Sorry for the spam (^o^;) I just really like your blog

no need to apologize ayy!

in this corner we welcome all forms of enjoyment, regardless of whether you're a

happy to have yall here w me,

headin into homestuck 2024 :^)

#was debating if sollux truly was lurker type but then i rmbr'd him quietly reading all of karkat's memos for a good laugh HAHAHAHAAH #ask #aleemie #homestuck #karkat vantas #sollux captor #solkat #2024 #vioart #but o. regarding the etiquette learned frm other socmed #spamming here is safe+good! it does not harm the op by shadowbanning like instagram #and its not 💀 like twitter where ur likes/following are permanently set to public #ur tumblr experience is within ur control it can be as free/empty/curated as u want!! #((tho ofc i do encourage rbing for ppl who've been hoping to start that habit!! #s'cool to slowly work ur way up from the extra special posts that hv lingered longest in ur heart and quietly build ur cache trove :-) #for example back when i was struggling to rt on a new twt acc i just started setting nonsense criteria for myself LOL #like “breaking this void is scary holy fuck ok i shall start by rting posts w brownish/reddish clrs bcs its inspo vibes for my art” #and gradually after a while of deliberate sharing i gained more confidence to share a larger variety of posts that make me feel things!!!! #no more training wheels i may be scared but i love loving more!!!! #same goes for engaging w fics too it takes energy to think of how to comment and thats ok‚ do ur best to explore what works for u!!!! #take screenshots of ur fave paragraphs & start annotating in gallery/notes app if that helps!!!! #also tumblr's customizable queue means u can stack posts and bolt hgehehe. my preferred form of existing on the net))

[stealingyourbones]

Submitted Prompts #144

*shakes a bag of bird skulls I found in the woodsI and places it on your desk like it's a bag of gold*

I had an idea:

What if the Fenton parents are, in fact very competent Hunters, but they love their children more than their work?

Say the first shot Maddie ever fired at Phanton actually lands, and the scream he makes sounds too much like Danny's voice, to a point even with any ghostly distortion, his own still recognizes the voice.

I can see her pulling Jack to the side, making a ruckus about how the "darn ghost got away just as her blaster ran out of juice". Mostly as a way to get Danny her darling son to leave and go somewhere safe, while his parents have a whole breakdown in the GAV about their dead son.

And so begins the stealthy studies on how Phantom's "human disguise" works, the Revelation of Horrible Truth, keeping tabs on Danny's growth and revising their whole attitude on Ghosts to account for the fact that Danny himself is, at least in some part, a Ghost himself, but all he's done is live his life (and be the little hero Mom always said he'd grow up to be).

Jazz stumbles across his secret and is immediately pulled aside to join the secret "Protect the Baby Ghost" family group chat.

"And what about all the times they shot at him in canon" I hear you ask?

They're damn good shots, but while Maddie can train herself to aim just so that the shot misses just enough it looks like Phantom dodged it, Jack has the Fenton Bazooka outfitted with a tracking HUD that purposely fails to hit everyone's favorite Ghost Boy.

Danny picks up on that, but not on the fact that They Know.

And so begins the single most convoluted training arc ever.

Next time Skulker's in town, Phantom has become untouchable. Not a single shot or electrified net reaches it's target.

(The electrified weapons in particular send the Fentons into a rage when Sam and Tucker finally can't keep hiding it, and come clean about what happened, since the Fentons have proven themselves to be trustworthy)

When Red Huntress comes about, and Valerie Grey becomes barely a distant acquaintance after having only just now started becoming more than a friend, and with the GIW sniffing about, Maddie and Jack pull Danny to sit between them and finally tell him they know, and they want to prove that they'll love him just as much as before, whether Human or Ghost.

Danny breaks down in the safety of his family's love, and takes some time off as Phantom to help his parents establish a proper line of communication with the Ancients, considering they've kinda adopted themselves into the roles of Aunts and Uncles towards their little Ghostling.

Which is a good thing, because in Phantom's absence the GIW make a giant spectacle of destroying several houses while chasing some blob ghosts. They're chased out of town by brick, stone and metal bat.

Next time Red Huntress actually manages to hurt Danny, the Fentons pack up and leave. The Portal can be transported somewhere else. It can be rebuilt.

Their baby boy can't be rebuilt, no matter how much he likes to be a little shit and ignore Reality to quote Shakespeare at his own head (thank you Mr Lancer, for not giving up on him) or "give them a hand".

As Fenton takes the last tour of Amity, Phantom disappears. The Protal has been left seemingly unguarded.

The Ghosts decide to have one last hurrah in Anity Park before Danny closes the Portal, as per their deal. They won't hurt anyone, just cause chaos, but in return Phantom won't stop them. It's not like poor Red has the energy to chase them down, now that she's been "upgraded" into Amity's sole defender (the one time Lancer compares her new lack of sleep to Danny's, horrifying pieces start lining up too well in her mind)

The Fentons move out. Into a quiet farm neighbouring the land that belongs to the delightful couple that are the Kents, and their darling son, little Clark, who stares at Danny mildly horrified whenever he comes by to babysit, or help out with fixing the stubborn tractor. One day under Danny's clever hands, and Jonathan Kent's eagle-eyed gaze, and that damned tractor has never worked so well before. The boy's alright in the old man's eyes, and he makes sure they kid knows it.

After quiet rooftop admissions of one small boy's growing powers (I know Adult Clark is a brick house of a man, but what if he was a little twig while young) and the reveal of Something More Than Human from his honorary older brother, the course of Time sets into it's best version, and an Old Clock smiles, as Superman rises, only to be scolded by Spectre for recklessness.

(Dunno how well it came across, but I'm envisioning Valerie's feelings towards Danny to go from bitter resignation because she " had to" push him away, to horrified despair when the truth starts falling into place. He's her "the one that got away". And it's not like she gave him much of a reason to trust her with his secrets.

Maybe older and wiser Red Huntress gets invited to the Justice League, and has to deal with not just Fenton, but also Phantom flirting with her, after a good long conversation on how dumb they both were as kids, and a mutual vow of "I think I can do better now, and I want to prove it to you")

#dpxdc #bones submissions #I started thinking 'what if the fentons were good parents' #and then the 'what if their skirmishes in canon were just playfighting and training' met 'Fenton-Bad-Aim' #and then when I thought where one might put a Ghost Portal where it won't be a bother #the thought 'put it in a fam shed' struck me #and so i had to bring Baby Clark and Ma and Pa Kent into it #Clark jumps off one roof and Danny thinks he knows a little better what he put Jazz through when it was his turn #later whenever Superman mentions his older brother and eveyone expects a Kryptonian #early-days Batman absolutely expects another spandex and cape hero #maybe some superman ripoff #until the Zeta activates for a Guest and in walks a man in black armor #and starlight cape #with a fur collar #and everyone thinks 'ooooh Supes is this one's ripoff' #and then the regal image is shattered because Danny coos at the heroes #many of them are babies when compared to his own experiences as as Hero and how long he's been at it #the Green Lanterns feel him pass by in the way a diver feels a whale swim by singing at them

[rosiethedragongeek]

Show Snotlout is just so vastly superior to movie Snotlout, and I KNOW i KNOW they had more time in the shows, but they didn't have to reduce him pretty much solely to comic relief in the movies (I adore movielout btw even though thw Snotlout was a total nightmare)

Bc like it would've been so easy to give him a moment w Hiccup where he's like we believe in you in the second movie to show his growth from the first, or to show him joking around WITH the gang as opposed to being the butt of the joke constantly and stuff idk

#httyd 2 snotlout is so good though and httyd 1 snotlout is hilarious #i just feel like the shows give him so much depth and it's a shame we don't see more of it in the movies #this goes for the whole gang honestly #fishlegs is SEVERELY underrepresented #mans deserves better #snotlout snotlout oi oi oi #snotlout jorgenson #snotlout #how to train your dragon #riders of berk #defenderes of berk #race to the edge #how to train your dragon 2 #how to train your dragon 3 #how to train your dragon: the hidden world #how to train your dragon thw #httyd #rob #dob #rtte #httyd 2 #httyd 3 #httyd the hidden world #httyd thw #thw salt #httyd salt #rosie's httyd brainrot

[themistyfootprints]

I forgot to post about the two day kayaking course my brother and I participated last weekend. It was such a dreamlike two days and spending time with my brother and outdoors was so needed since being injured took a huge toll on me mentally. Spending two days kayaking really made something click and put things into a new perspective. Of course it helped that my leg was already feeling SO much better. Needless to say I spent last week dreaming of buying my own kayak and planning new outdoor adventures.

And, last Wednesday I was finally back at it. I ran. Cannot describe the feeling. Kept it short, easy and sweet with some walking in between to be safe. And I was pain free. Such a relief and gave me such a boost. My leg will get better again, I will get back to running again. Will take it slow and smart but am already ridiculously excited for my next run in a couple of days.

#such a whirlwind these past few weeks #i feel like something has shifted within me #in the best way possible #cant yet articulate it and am still processing but maybe ill be able to write about it more #for now ill just take it #personal #training to feel good #the injury that is destroying me #but it didnt

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: death mention / family death mention / ]

Mhmm I sure love thinking of the reality where we did get more time to really know Karai and her dynamics with the bros. Losing her hit hard in the finale, but it would’ve hit much, much harder had we known Karai longer and really saw her relationships develop with everyone.

I especially would have been interested in her dynamic with Leo, as past iterations often have the two of them clash in ideals and the like while still sharing many characteristics. Two sides of the same coin, and all that. Her specifically being the bros’ Gram-Gram also adds a whole new dynamic as well.

Imagine how interesting it would be, to have Karai start off on Leo’s side for once, showing wholly just how alike the two are at their cores and bonding as family without the worry of betrayal or animosity that other iterations suffer through, only to have Karai die anyway. Their parting hug and the desperate look of horror Leo wears later on would have hit that much harder, I feel.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #rise karai #rise leo #rottmnt karai #rottmnt leo #I think a lot about these two in particular #and how that dynamic could have flourished #the way it was depicted in the finale is so purposefully unique and painful like #that hug man #can you imagine how much more heartbreaking that would have been if we knew her longer #not that it wasn’t already sad but we just simply didn’t know her long enough to be completely attached #also imo having more episodes with her and in general would have presented something I’ve been thinking about since the finale #so like - I like to think each bro kinda immediately leans more toward certain family members #Mikey has Draxum #Donnie has April #Raph has Splinter because this is another one that would be SO GOOD and make the finale moment where Raph sees his memories hit harder #if they had an ep or two more of Splinter and Raph together bc I really do feel like Raph respects Splinter most of the four #and finally- Leo has Karai #and then he loses her #imo? this would align with the movie even more #because it was the act of heroism that kinda killed her in a way - makes sense that Leo would initially be leaning away from that #and yet he ends up exactly like her anyway #haha sorry for rambling I just really love the interesting dynamic these two tend to have #and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see it really explored in rise #but yeah make no mistake while I’m focusing on Leo here I wanted more for all the boys and karai #Mikey’s little moments with her were so sweet and we already know how much he yearns for more family #Karai being from an age long gone would mean she’d be super impressed by literally any invention Donnie has (adult validation!!) #and could you imagine her training with Raph - with this training being referenced in the finale?

[moreaugriffins]

IDK who needs to hear this, but Egon and Ray aren't the only autistic og ghostbusters

Peter is too

Your telling me this man with two PhDs related to psychology, who always has the exact right thing to say to manipulate a situation to his favour (when it's a planned/known situation), but cocks up massively when it's an unknown situation, who has a massive reaction to getting slimed (more so than the others), who would rather joke all the time than take a situation seriously because wtf should he say

you're telling me this man is neurotypical?

nah

Winston's the only NT in this group (idk how he deals with these weirdos (affectionate))

#rambles #ghostbusters #the real ghostbusters #to be specific i guess #peter venkman #egon spengler #ray stantz #winston zeddemore #i've encountered a few autistic people like peter #it's mainly the focus on business and the intense interest in studying people and behaviour and the mind #but he gets so irritated and angry when he gets slimed #the same way i feel when oil or glue gets stuck on my skin #“but he's so good at social situations-” but that's just it! #he is! #because he studies people - studies their reactions - their interactions #a business chat always goes the same way so he can plan what to say to get the best thing out of it #when he flirts with women it seems to be the same way each time - like he's planned it - because he thinks it'll get a reaction he wants #and i dare say that Peter masks a lot more than Ray and Egon. i mean he was a probably more of a cool slacker type at uni and got on well #with more popular students (sorority house students? idk im not american) and yknow it was the 70s! couldnt exactly be fully himself #idk where im going with this - ive lost my train of thought #but yeah #peter is autistic as well and i'll die on this hill

[rockethorse]

I made a railway station that the neighbourhood deco trains can pass through and I'm so chuffed with myself TEEHEE

#The Sims 2 #Calcinidae Bay #both directions work and look good it feels like I understand why people like model trains so much

[tennessoui]

in a new hope when Obi-Wan tells Vader “if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine” he’s referring to the mommy issues his death is gonna give Luke

#kit to kit #Star Wars #also I paused the movie and laughed soooo hard at like doing bare minimum #‘I think that time I could almost feel the blasters!’ after he tried with his helmet off #and obi-wan was like good job! :) #and a movie later Vader is like I can sense obi-wan has trained you well #that was all Yoda’s work dumbass #you’re sensing the one Kenobi compliment your son received and you’re being jealous about it #/jk

[viperwhispered]

Rest

Guess what? I've got more Jamil x reader for y'all. You can also find this on ao3. No warnings, just 866 words of kinda fluffy(?) caretaking stuff with gender-neutral reader.

At this point, you know Jamil’s schedule almost as well as he does. So, when you have the chance, you head to Scarabia’s kitchen, hoping to spend some time with Jamil while he and the other students prepare dinner. 

However, when you enter, it takes you but a moment to notice Jamil’s uncharacteristic fumbling and the tired look in his eyes. The way Jamil’s chopping the vegetables has you worried about him cutting himself with that knife he’s usually so adept with, and it seems it’s only force of habit that’s keeping him on track.

You frown, and when your eyes meet Jamil’s, you can already see him put his guard up.

So he knows what state he is in, huh? And still, here he is.

It seems Jamil is reading your thoughts, all of him telling you drop it before any words are even said.

At least he still lets you lean in and give a quick kiss to his cheek in greeting.

“Hello love. Do you still have a lot on your agenda for today?” you ask, keeping your tone low for at least some semblance of privacy in the busy kitchen.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” is the response you get.

Of course.

It takes a little more pestering before Jamil actually answers your question. Your lips purse. That list is far too long to your liking.

You take a moment to think, juggling your own plans and to-do list against the urgency of the things Jamil mentioned.

“Will Kalim be eating from that?” you ask, pointing at the food Jamil is preparing.

“Yes.”

“Alright, I won’t be touching that one, then. I’ve gotta do a few things but I’ll be back when you’re done here.”

“Don’t,” Jamil says with a glare, clearly aware of what you’re thinking.

Yet even his disapproving look doesn’t have the usual weight behind it.

“Yes. I will,” you say firmly, even as your heart curls inwards with another bout of concern.

Really, when did he get so tired?

And how did you not notice it earlier?

You leave the kitchen before Jamil can protest further, hurrying through the dorm corridors to find Kalim.

Soon you have an enthusiastic – and concerned – supporter for your plans. You have Kalim point out a few reliable Scarabia students to help with a few of the most urgent matters Jamil mentioned – cleaning up the common areas, delivering some paperwork to Crowley, preparing some dorm-wide notices – while you see to Kalim getting his school supplies in order for the following day. You even recruit a couple of third years to help Kalim with his homework.

You’ll see to the rest tomorrow – after all, you do also have a boyfriend to look after.

Your conversation over dinner can hardly be called anything else than an argument – despite Kalim’s best attempts at acting as a moderating force between you two. It is very tempting to ask Kalim to tell Jamil to take the rest of the day off – it’s not like Jamil would be willing to openly disobey a direct order. Still, you really don’t need to remind Jamil of his position on top of everything else that you’re already doing more or less against his wishes.

Eventually, however, Jamil’s had a square meal, the most urgent things on his to-do list are being taken care of, and you’ve managed to drag him to his bed.

“I really wish you wouldn’t push yourself so hard,” you murmur, your arms wrapped tightly around Jamil. You’re telling yourself you really do just want to cuddle, to offer some respite to Jamil. Still, there might also be a part of you worried that if you were to let go, he’d just jump up and get back to working himself to the bone.

Yet, for all his protestations, just the fact that you’ve gotten Jamil to lay down with you speaks volumes of his current exhaustion.

“I can’t just leave my duties, albi. You know this.”

“Making yourself too indispensable, is what you’re doing,” you protest.

Oh, you know it’s not so simple. Not with his background, not with all the expectations and assumptions.

But sometimes you really wish it would be.

Jamil merely scoffs in response to your words.

Still, it is undeniable that he is slowly beginning to relax in your arms, slowly bringing his head closer to yours. His eyes are starting to flutter, too.

“I will still need to help Kalim with his homework, at the very least.”

You wonder who he is trying to convince more, you or himself.

“Amin and Khalil are helping him. They’re basically top of their classes, aren’t they? I’m sure they’ve got it.”

Still, Jamil frowns.

You sigh. He really is not letting go, is he?

“Do you want me to go supervise?” you ask.

And leave you, unsaid yet hanging there right after your words.

“Don’t,” Jamil eventually says, the word barely more than a breath.

It seems he has accepted his fate.

You softly caress Jamil’s hair, listening to his softening breathing.

And when you wake up, wholly unaware of having been lulled to sleep in the first place, it’s to the lightest of touches from Jamil’s fingers.

Tagging @diodellet @twstgo @crystallizsch @jamilvapologist @jamilsimpno69 as per request If you'd like to be tagged for any future works, let me know!

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #woop it sure has been quite the burst of creative energy lately #especially since this has apparently been sitting in my drafts since last august #but now you have it #I certainly can’t promise to keep up with this rate of writing (in fact I can promise I won't) but hey let's enjoy it while it lasts #and yes I’m hopping on the “jamil using arabic terms of endearment” train #I’ve read so many fics doing that that at this point it feels more natural than english ngl #even if english would probably be more canonical #also is it a *good* way to go about it to just pretty much just force someone to rest like this? probably not #is it sometimes the only way to get stubborn people to stop for a bit? perhaps #and is it something I might do? #...possibly #also oh boy can you tell that I'm avoiding jamil's dialogue like the plague lately? #I really need to reread so much of his stuff to get a hang of his voice again #(also if you notice typos pls tell me because they always bug me) #(or other wonkiness because I'm not a native speaker and sometimes things just go silly) #anyways hope y'all enjoy!

[lex-crow]

I don’t remember where I saw this but

I couldn’t resist

Hiccup is so done with this shit

Ref picture

#httyd #how to train your dragon #scetch #rtte #httyd fanart #hiccup haddock #hiccup horrendous haddock iii #httyd rtte #tuffnut #httyd tuffnut #tuffnut thorston #ruffnut thorston #httyd ruffnut #ruffnut #httyd snotlout #snotlout #snotlout jorgenson #that metal foot on snotty’s face probably doesn’t feel good