#tw invalidation

[lifexxxdeath]

DID culture is growing up being labeled a pathological liar and "always remembering things wrong". That's why, for us personally, being in love is so hard.

Anytime we don't remember a situation and it's being relayed, it's always a fear that we're being gaslit about the situation.

When our feelings or experiences aren't believed, it throws us into a spiral of denial and reminds us of a lot of trauma based around that.

It really does suck.

#DID culture #tw trauma #tw triggers #tw invalidation #dissociative identity disorder #dissociative identities #actually traumagenic #traumagenic did #traumagenic system #endos dni #endos do not interact

[tableperson]

So Spoctor’s new video, “the danger of “system” tik tok”, is fucking garbage. Don’t watch it.

It’s misinformed trash that invalidates fictives, the comments are full of sysmeds and fakeclaimers and he is a singlet who didn’t consult a system about the video first.

We suffered so you don’t have to.

Seriously, unless you want 100% full context and have a very robust sense of self, a strong stomach and the mental fortitude today to sit through it, don’t watch it.

#sysmeds dni #anti endo dni #endogenic #system pride #Spoctor #endogenic systems shouldn’t be treated like we’re crazy or just for fun just because we aren’t disordered #tw swearing #tw invalidation

[traumasurvivors]

You deleted my reblog cause you know it's true. Those people are just traumatizing themselves. I'd love to see you actually answer this and explain how me being beaten is the same as someone being "traumatized online." You can't. I couldn't turn my trauma off, they could. Big difference! Teach people to turn their phones off, not to accept their own stupidity of not doing so.

I blocked you, therefore deleting your reblog as a result, because it could be very triggering to others, and all it said was "no, online trauma isn't real". It literally added nothing of value and I am allowed to delete whatever I think doesn't belong on my post. My blog is about offering validation to survivors of all types of trauma.

But let's talk about online trauma for a second. It would be valid if someone got traumatized without this sort of background, but for me, my online trauma took place because I was being molested by a family member at the time. This lead me to seek out relationships online with older men, and you can be damn sure that still carries trauma effects to this day. Men who wanted to hear the stories of what was being done to me. I didn't know any better. I didn't know to block them. I literally thought that I was doing what I was supposed to do because of how I had been conditioned and groomed.

I have also experienced domestic abuse, and been beaten as a child. I spent 18 years of my life living in active trauma situations between sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse by family and a romantic partner. I have several frames of reference and I can still tell you that the online trauma I experienced was real.

Also, with your logic, is my trauma from being beaten and sexually abused by my romantic partner not valid because I could have just "walked away?" Is my child abuse not valid because I could have just "told someone?" Trauma doesn't work within any set of rules.

I'm not bringing up what I went through to try and compare traumas, that's not the point. The point is that because I've been through what people deem as "acceptable" and "big" trauma, I feel like my opinion on the trauma you see as less valid should have weight to it since I have experienced it too and it traumatized me as well.

Comparing trauma doesn't help anyone. It's not about the events themselves, but how they affect someone. I personally experience more trauma from an experience I had with a spider verses an assault I went through. I have flashbacks and nightmares about this experience with a spider and I end up panicking when I'm in the place where I dealt with it.

I understand that you are hurting, and I understand that maybe you feel like it makes your trauma seem less important somehow. But it doesn't. Other people having trauma doesn't mean yours is less valid or important somehow. It's also not uncommon for some survivors to feel like other people's trauma isn't as bad as theirs, and to feel bitter about that.

I can definitely see that you are suffering. I saw the anger and hatred you pass to others on your blog. It seems like you're in a lot of pain, but that doesn't mean it's okay to bully others online. Which is essentially what you're doing. It's possible it makes you feel powerful in some way to cause others pain. And your feelings of anger are valid, but your behaviour definitely isn't. I hope that you heal. I truly do. And I hope that you can learn to put your anger where it belongs, and that is on the people who hurt you, not other trauma survivors.

(Also, I will say that even if someone does seek out trauma in some regard, that's likely a result from having experienced trauma in the past, and they are still valid.)

Edit to add: I had an anon tell me they couldn't block people online because they were a child and these people threatened to find them, and being a child, they really believed the threats and were terrified. There are so many reasons someone may not be able to just "block" someone. Let's also not forget that people really focused on bullying or abusing someone online, likely won't let a block option stop them.

#tw hate #tw invalidation #tw abuse #tw sa #tw csa #tw child abuse #tw online abuse #tw trauma details #sorry #i realize i probably shouldn't reply to this #but i feel really strongly about this

[faithfromanewperspective]

is it validating or too little too late when my teenage bitching about the education system spidey senses were proven right and now being talked about or. is it that no one believes a neurodivergent child if they’re not obviously struggling yet only believe adults who have it together? Like I played your game to get this small reward of simple belief and that long game was never sustainable. now to listen the way very few ever did and ignore the laws of relational physics and hope cycles really can break

#tw invalidation #education #neurodivergence #neurodivergent liberation #fuck the education system honestly #make it better instead. part of sustainable development

[notblue-bandit]

tw childhood trauma

did anyone else with bpd ever get the "you have to stop lying to your friends and telling them that you're $Hing / attempting / suicidal / getting drunk" talk as a kid (multiple times) only for your parents to find out years later that you weren't lying and now have a self harm addiction and diagnosed alcoholism— and tolerance to the pain medication you kept trying to OD on— because they never took you seriously and told your child therapist that you were lying so you never got help orrr? was that just me

( yes i started drinking when i was 14 :•|| [<-- sad clown face] )

#this is just me traumadumping tbfh #tw invalidation #tw childhood trauma #tw emotional neglect

[system-comforts]

hi im questioning plurality and scared to ask systems i know irl about experiences and help so im asking for help here (im sorry if ive already sent an ask to this blog bc i /gen dont remember if i did)

okay i think im going to split this up into two sections, one for reasons I think I may be and symptoms, another for reasons why i think I may not.

Reasons I think I may be plural:

I frequently experience bouts of dissociating or just feel generally fuzzy and after i can feel a range of symptoms including: Feeling a new energy with me, confusion on where i am, confusion on who i am, feeling an off feeling, thinking something is wrong with my body or room and more.

I frequently feel multiple energys w/ me w/ different emotions, ages, and general vibes.

I constantly switch between feeling very strongly w/ one belif or gender to the point where it feels like i have always felt like this then not long after sometimes feeling the complete opposite.

I very often feel not incontrol and almost like someone else is in control of the body.

I occasionally say things aloud that i dont think I actually said and it feels like someone else did.

I occasionally think things that i dont think I actually thought and it was like someone else did.

I have occasional laspses in memory.

Reasons I think I'm not plural:

I have 3 irl plural friends so statistically its very unlikely that I am plural too.

I retain almost all memory from when I feel like I am different people.

I feel like I am always there no matter what.

The different energies I feel tend to be very similar to my own and I cant really distinguish between them for the most part.

I feel like I may just be experiencing symptoms of something else and confusing them for plurality.

I feel like I am forcing myself to experience symptoms of plurality.

I don't think the truama i have could have been bad enough for me to be plural (im sorry if there are plural ppl who dont have truama i js dont know much on that topic specifically)

Other things to note:

I have ADHD and Autism (un-medicated)

I have BPD or Bipolar disorder (me and my therapist are still discussing which we think it may be)

I hope someone sees this and could please help me figure out if maybe another disorder is making me experience these things or if those symptoms listed are genuinely symptoms of plurality because I cannot figure out if what I am experiencing is normal or not

also im vvvv sorry if this is a blog that connot help w/ this kind of thing /gen

Hello there. I can tell by the way your organized this ask you've thought a lot about this question! I'll try to answer most of your points and hope my input helps as you continue to evaluate this question.

Your first few points regarding amnesia for where you are, identity confusion regarding your gender, and depersonalization with your body, based on what you've said here, points towards fairly high dissociation. At the very least, looking into dissociative disorders in general might be a good idea for you (and your therapist) to explore. This is especially true if these symptoms cause a lot of distress and hardship in your life.

You also talk about not feeling in control of your body, your actions, and your thoughts. The way you describe these feelings is similar to how we and many other systems might describe it. However, it can also be good to also ask if the "someone else" who did and said these things was you in a heightened emotion or at a different time, or if it was a distinctly different person. Even singlets have a variety of emotions based on different situations. Consider how consistent these actions are, is there a pattern? Does x person mostly tend to react y way to z situation? We've found it helpful to establish patterns when trying to figure out if there's a headmate involved.

Regarding your reasons you may not be plural, there's a few things I want to note. Regarding your plural friends, I wouldn't say it's "statistically unlikely" that you're plural. To truly consider the statistics, you would want to look at total populations, like of a region or country, not just in a friend group. For example, some friend groups will have no one plural, but that doesn't mean plural people don't exist. Friends come together for a variety of reasons, largely for similarities in life experiences and identities. It's possible you've found friends similar to you in some regards, and this might include plurality.

Your next three points about retaining most of your memories, feeling always present, and how these "energies" feel similar to your own also do not entirely rule out plurality. These descriptions could be from a median system, which, on the sliding spectrum of plurality, is a sort of is not quite singlet but not quite as distinct as plural systems and their headmates. It might be helpful to look into median systems as well as possibly fragments as you continue to question if you're plural.

On your final point, I do want to point out that not every system experienced trauma. Some experienced trauma but it didn't cause their plurality, and some, even if they experienced trauma, may not feel it was "enough" to cause plurality. What you say about your trauma is what many other plural people say. Try to put that question aside as you question your plurality, or at least don't dig in too deeply.

Now for your notes. The high number of plural autistics has been frequently discussed in the plural community. Not every autistic is plural of course, nor is every plural, but it makes sense that those with different brains and neuro types would also show and develop other differences like plurality. Regarding your BPD or bipolar disorder, there are also systems with these disorders. So it's not really about being plural or having one of these- both can occur. What's important to consider is how the symptoms align with each disorder. Can your amnesia, dissociation, and these different "energies" be explained by BPD or bipolar disorder? Or is there something else going on in addition to that? I think that question might be helpful as your continue those discussions with your therapist.

I hope this has been helpful to you, and we wish you the best as you continue asking if you're plural!

-mod neptune

#mod neptune #ask #am I plural #questioning #plural #bpd #tw invalidation

[traumagenic-culture-is]

traumagenic culture is almost only feeling safe around endos cuz anti endos have made fun of your trauma in the past :/

.

#hey anon #im sorry and i hope you find better people to be around ^^ #oh and i wanted to let you know #youre not alone in this #from what ive seen being in plural communities this is a really common experience #traumagenic culture #tw syscourse #tw trauma mention #tw invalidation #tw trauma invalidation

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw for maybe ableism towards PTSD but idk?

I've had one hell of a life (I won't go into much detail lol, that's a whole other beast) and I moved out a while back and I've been trying to get a semi-stable place to live and ehhh it's not the best but that's not the main focus of this.

I was talking to my friend and she said that "she doesn't really think that the situation I'm in is serious for me since I've lived through so much." Like she said that "because you've survived so much I don't worry about you like I would if someone else was telling me this".

Which like, yeah I get considering my life is written more like an angsty 13 year old learnt trauma = character development but it kinda hurt? Like I have veryyy few people in my life I even semi-trust and she's the friend I've known the longest and she's just like "meh".

Is that weird or is she justified? Like she said it was more of a compliment but idk I wish that at some point people will realize that the more you survive doesn't make it easy to keep surviving you know?

Hi anon,

It's possible that she was trying to be comforting but it came off wrong. Either way, I can see how that is incredibly invalidating and I think it would be understandable and honestly good to talk to her about it. Because you deserve to be validated.

It is a common misconception that the more you survive, the easier smaller things should be. Even for ourselves. I find myself being hard on myself because I'm getting worked up about something "minor" compared to other things I've been through. And the truth is, it's okay to have feelings regardless of what else you've been through. It's like saying if you experienced peak happiness, that nothing else should ever make you feel happy.

Your feelings are your feelings, and they're valid. You are absolutely allowed to vent/have feelings about situations even if they "aren't that bad." I routinely vent to my friends about "minor" things because it helps to talk about them and them being minor doesn't mean they don't bother me. I still very much have feelings.

I can understand that she may have have meant it in a good way, but you're valid to not feel good about it and I think you should let her know how it made you feel. Because on a similar line, even if her intentions were good, you are valid to not feel good about what she said and you deserve to be able to talk about that so it can be avoided in the future and maybe talking about it might help you feel better about it.

April

#mod april #trauma talks #tw invalidation

[confusedkeyssys]

Guys, especially *cough cough* parents *cough*, please don't this this. It actually hurts. Do not do this to the (possibly) tiny, (definitely) sentient beings you're talking to thanks

#tw invalidation #tw #this may or may not have been made bc this was said to us one time #negative stuff aside drawing these comics is rlly fun #putting this in the parenting tags for the folks in the back #parenting #tiny humans #how to be a jerk 101

[a-system-of-nerds]

Fucking love having a parent who has chronic pain that just pushes through and makes my pain seem like it's nothing and that I should be able to push through too. Like, fine, I'll fucking try physical therapy and whatnot, but I don't think that's it! I don't think this is something that will just go away. I don't choose to get as little sleep as I do, I literally feel tired all the time and don't feel sleepy at a "normal" time. I'm not just lazy. I'm not making up the fact that I'm in pain in almost all of my joints. I don't think getting exercise will fix everything. I literally don't have the fucking energy nor does my heart or lungs feel okay exercising ever. There's also the fact that people experience disorders to different levels. Just because one person has the worst possible level of that disorder doesn't mean that it's like that for everyone. And the inverse is just as true. Just... stop fucking invalidating me.

#vent #vent post #chonic pain #joint pain #chronic migraine #chronic migraines #chronic fatigue #tw swearing #tw cussing #tw profanity #tw invalidation #tw vent post #tw vent

[runelocked]

" please don't spout shit unless you know what you're talking about. " / @reluctaunt

“ NO, NO. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, ” William persists, and whether he’s fresh out of college and flung into the future or that possessing, powerful glitch that had infected her, his voice does not change. He’s younger, here, and certainly not a fan of what his future self has done what his older self will do, in years to come but he has to admit, he’s fascinated by it all. How can he not be? Controlling someone else’s body… cheating death… snaring his mind inside a computer virus… It makes him sick to see those hurting from his actions, and yet God, he is so, so curious.

Turns to Vanessa now, uncertain of how to make her see. He understands how she feels. Of course he does. She’s had her entire sense of self violated, ripped from her — and in a way, William tells himself that he has too. Hasn’t he been vilified for the actions of his future self? Hasn’t he suffered exactly like Vanessa has? (You know nothing about what she’s been through, a small part of him snaps, you are not a victim in this place; and yet, he ignores it.) Instead, he stands a little taller, face twisted in something like empathy; gleaming eyes a little too much like the malhare’s, enough that if he could have seen them, William might have reconsidered.

“We’ve both suffered because of his actions, correct? In fact, considering he’s completely stripped away my future, I might say I’ve suffered more.” Winces at how combative it sounds as he exhibits for the first time in the whole conversation! self awareness of his words, and William tries to explain himself. “Which is why I understand you, I mean. Of course I understand. What he did to you was awful. But you’re free now, aren’t you? You can get on with your life freely. Not to say you haven’t been through hell—” (He has no idea) “—but… you’re fine now.”

In years to come, he’ll lose a son, and then a daughter, and his entire life will crumble around him because of these two events. William will begin to understand Vanessa then — how a single traumatic event can destroy a lifetime. He won’t understand her enough to stop himself delving into work on remnant, or ruling over death, but for a while, he’ll truly, deeply regret this conversation.

But that’s in his own time. Not here in the future, seventy years out of time and stumbling around uncertainly in the debris of his future self’s destruction. So William looks to Vanessa expectantly; searching for a scrap of camaraderie in her, something that shows him she feels sorry for him.

#(( most annoying william voice: no i totally get you! my life’s been pretty bad too 😞 )) #(( Vanessa: i NEED you to shut up. you NEED to shut your mouth )) #(( Sorry ! he is unbelievably self centered what can i say )) #(ii) man behind the slaughter — roleplay thread. #(uiii) kairos: william. #(oxo) rabbit in the headlights: william & vanessa. #a; reluctaunt #tw invalidation #tw emotional invalidation

[it-is-only-a-novel]

Reminder that it's aphobia if you tell an aspec that they need a partner to be happy.

Yes, even if you told them first that you accept them the way they are, and you're just "expressing concern".

#it's okay not to know about amatonormativity #but you are invalidating them #and that's aphobia #tw aphobia #fuck amatonormativity #amatonormativity #aspec #non partnering #aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #taging with ace tags because this is for all aspecs who choose to be non partnering #or choose to partner differently #also non aspecs of course #yes I'm preaching to the choir #but I needed to say it #M's post

[lucasbeingrandom]

looking back at my vent writing and crying

lmao here ya go I guess (mostly for mei but idc if anyone else reads it)

*had to censor because I don't want to talk about this* trans omni faking fuck dream stan idiot anime joke fuck head invalid faking sh scared wimpy snowflake fuck that's obsessed with older guys SHE can't date that fucking starves herself for attention and is a fucking faking gay anime joke attention seeking fuck that cries HERSELF to sleep because SHE'S a snowflake fucking pathetic suicidal bitch that hates HERSELF. HER name is *d34dn4m3*. and SHE is me. "Fatherless. Emo. HAH! Faker." Shut up and go watch something about the LGBTQIA+ youth suicide rate and tell yourself how bad of a person you are in the mirror you sick fuck. that's also offensive to people who actually have no fathers, also, what if I have two mothers? huh? bitch face? crying on my bedroom floor thinking about how its not self harm unless you do more. and im a dream stan, am I a bad person? im not toxic I just want to enjoy something for once without being bullied. gacha club? fatherless. dream smp? gay. danganronpa? lol emo. ddlc and anime? attention seeker. god fuck I can't anymore. the attempts. the bruises. the panic attacks. the crying. the hallucinations the skinnyness the starving the lack of sleep the lucid daydreaming the comfort from non-existent characters the loneliness the dysphoria the blame the guilt the clingyness the fact that I am a horrible person the anxiety from adult men including my father the self loathing the self doubt I fucking hate everything about me. my female body, my entire personality, my face, everything.

#tw depressing thoughts #tw self loathing #tw gender dysphoria #tw invalidation #tw suicide #vent #tw body hate

[tub3rculosis]

it is 2024 can we PLEASE stop w these kind of videos now. thanks

#tw homophobia #tw ableism #obviously this is an exaggeration but like. is it? #these videos attract the WEIRDEST combination of like actual right wing “i hate everyone who isn't 'normal' by my definition” ppl #and like. queer and nd people who crave validation from conservatives and want to prove “we're not like THOSE freaks” #the right hates everyone. it doesn't matter if your name is thomas and ur fully transitioned or ur name is ✨️arson✨️ ze/it/pup #if u dont fit their narrow idea of “normal” anything u say is immediately invalid #mental illness #nd #neurodivergent #cringe culture is dead #cringe culture #cringe #tiktok #ableism #queer #queer discourse #transgender #transphobia #anti exclusionist #leftist

[positivityoutsiderecovery]

I'm not disabled because I'm not exercising enough. I'm not disabled because I'm not following that specific diet. I'm not disabled because I'm not spiritual enough. I'm not disabled because of my attitude. I'm not disabled because I'm too lazy to fix it. I'm not disabled because I don't always make the healthiest choice. I'm disabled because real life isn't fair and some people get unlucky.

#por originals #disability in general #invalidation tw #ableism tw #health craze tw #religion tw #spirituality tw #victim blaming tw

[system-comforts]

The first time we tried to discuss our plurality with our current therapist, she said that we don't display symptoms and visible shifts in personality, when we really heavily mask around her. She also told us our trauma wasn't severe enough to have a system. We lost a handful of our headmates to fusion because we fake claimed ourselves so hard. Other headmates are attached to her, but I'm so happy to get away from her in the spring. I don't know where I was going with this, I just needed to say it. -V (formerly csmpsys, now Garden of Stars)

I'm sorry that happened to you, V. It can be difficult to find respectful professionals, and often times they can do more harm than good. I'm glad you plan to not continue seeing this person seeing that they've upset you so much and refused to listen to you all. Often times people make assumptions about how plurality really is, how it manifests, etc, without going past their own assumptions and biases. I hope you can find a better person to discuss these things with (if that is your wish).

-mod pluto

#mod pluto #ask #tw invalidation