#when will I be me again

[phantomrose96]

I think we should have a turn of phrase for "I'm not in the right, but I AM annoyed with this situation, so I just need to go bitch to a friend about this before I suck it up and go do the right thing" because more and more I'm finding this is a critical element of functional adulthood.

#the person who's re-emailed me asking for help with something: yes I should get back to you. yes I will get back to you #but in the meantime I will look at the email like 'I am busy right now! I have deadlines! do not bother me about this unrelated thing!' #and like in 15 minutes when I'm ready to be an adult again I'll get back to them

[perfectlyripeclementine]

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

#nonbinary love #nblnb yearning #nb4nb #nblnb #wholesomeposting #yearning hours #ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense #so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me” #and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc #but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership #i think about this mostly in terms of ecology #and relation to land #but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers #like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs #but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while #and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well #when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else #its understood i just mean the city where i live #so why cant we apply the same to lovers? #mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again #ok #done now

[theoldkyokodied]

The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic

#bloodweave #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale x astarion #astarion x gale #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #yes this is about astarion helping gale defeat mystra and take her place with the crown in exchange for gale helping him with the ritual #the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max #I enjoy them being reluctantly soft for each other more but from time to time I just think about how powerful they could get together #toxic evil boyfriends. take love and twist it up until it’s unrecognisable #I like to think that astarion approached gale with that offer after realising no one else in camp is gonna help him #and that he can use gales own hunger for power which backfired when astarion actually became emotionally invested in gale #and after gale kept his word despite everyone’s concerns astarion changed his plan from not fullfilling his end of the bargain to actually #helping gale kill mystra (mostly so that gale could belong to him and him alone. and letting him take the place as a god bc having a god #at you beck and call is definitely appealing. especially one as eager to please as gale) #anyway what I want to say with this is please please please let me kill mystra i don’t even care if the weave gets destroyed again

[serialunaliver]

I think skinny people who have never been fat should shut up about who gets body shamed more permanently

#now that i'm thin again i'm realizing even people closest to me were constantly degrading me when I was fat #and no it doesn't hit the same as my mom saying i'm too skinny or whatever. i'll still go outside and be treated better. #and for what? why do you care?

[chaoticfvckingdisaster]

Something I think about a lot is how Rick Riordan very rarely uses "girlfriend/boyfriend" to refer to Percy and Annabeth within their perspectives. They're so intertwined, even Annabeth says in hoh that the word boyfriend isn't strong enough, because Percy was a part of her. They are a singular soul, too wrapped around each others' fates that regular labels are far too weak for them. But, Rick Riordan uses "boyfriend" a lot in Nico and Wills perspectives, not because they love each other less than percabeth, but to show how much the word means to them. Nico uses it any chance he gets- "his boyfriend," "he actually had a boyfriend," because Nico has never been able to say that before. Their struggle with their queer identities mixed with Nico's catholic guilt and chronic everyone-hates-me disease makes the fact that he has someone to call his actual boyfriend so much more important to his character development.

#yeah ik I'm solangelo posting again listen tsats is fucking me up ok #please god don't take this as me saying will is only important when he's in love w nico he's his own character #and I just read a bit from hoh #rick riordan #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo #pjo hoo toa #riordanverse #tsats #the sun and the star #house of hades #chaotic's posts

[astralpenguin]

self care is writing a fic that you’re literally the sole target audience for

#nobody was asking for a spn pmmm crossover fic focusing on claire at 14 #who by this point has already been manipulated into agreeing to something without knowing all the terms and conditions first #and it was awful and the worst day of her life #so when kyubey approaches her she doesn't go for it #but the people around her do and so claire gets to watch people she loves die horribly AGAIN #like there is nothing in spn canon that contradicts any of this #but literally nobody is wanting a fic like this to exist #nobody except for me #so i guess i have to do everything myself around here #el talks

[novaneondream]

@candle-scm you did this to me

#adopting the boys for a bit #no but liKe- #they? #tHEM #me realizing I never had a proper atla phase when I first watched it but now that it’s making waves again got me hook line and sinker #ALSO I didn’t know Zukka was a thiNG until my good friend over here introduced it to me and I haven’t looked back #nah because boiling rock hits different nOw #ATLA #avatar the last air bender fanart #avatar the last airbender #atla fanart #zukka #zukka fanart #Zuko #sokka #my art

[astearisms]

fionna and cake drawings before and after watching the episodes so far. it’s nostalgic and somehow cathartic and poignant and relatable and—it just started

#i’m part of the demographic where i was a kid when adventure time started and now watching fionna and cake as an adult makes me emotional #because did they keep us in mind when writing fionna and her attitude towards life #the dissatisfaction #the hoping for something more #something more magical than this dreary life filled with working to live and living to work #it’s so reflective of how life feels for me and perhaps many of us #and also Simon’s episode was so sad but so well thought out #exploring his feelings after the events of the adventure time finale is something I’m glad we get to see #there were already so many layers to his character in AT but now it feels like we get to dive deeper #I also felt emotional hearing Rebecca Sugar singing and writing a song that encapsulates his feelings so well #😭 it’s been awhile seeing her work exist alongside these characters #and all of these emotions get stronger because I remember AT being the one to inspire me to be a storyboard artist #when I was younger I used to follow many of the board artists here in tumblr and would get so inspired by them #to create simple but powerful boards that can capture the feelings of characters so well #Rebecca Sugar’s songs for the AT characters inspired me so much too #I’m sorry this is long I’m just feeling so many things experiencing all of this again as an adult #my art #fanart #adventure time #fionna and cake #fionna the human #cake the cat #simon petrikov

[porrigens]

pegoryu valentine :3

#p5 #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #ryuji sakamoto #sakamoto ryuji #pegoryu #persona 5 protagonist #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #i made this last year LOL #sorry for not posting </3 i forget #idk when i'll post again</3 #but beleive in me ... please.... its all i have... #i just finished a big assignment in uni im so tired #i typed 5000 words in two hours #anyways i like pegoryu ryuji would bounce his leg when hes nervous #i need to replay p5 games at some point tbh the motivation isn't there for p5 anymore sad emoji

[araneapeixes]

fuck it. sketch poast

#i have 3 comms to finish rhen i finish this then maybe another one for me THEN id like to open coms again:) #so idk when i finish this so i wanted to shareee #its the first time ive drawn all of them #i decided to do modern clothes just because but the added bonus of not having to draw armor is a life saver #anyways whoever wins gets to fuck shadowheart in the bathroom #its not the point of the arm wrestle or anything but it is an implied outcome #bg3 #sketch #karlach #lae’zel #shadowheart #astarion #gale dekarios #wyll ravengard #bg3 tav

[dizzybizz]

hey let's go from totoro kinda vibe

#been listening to it on repeat for like two hours straight while working on these #i love bug miku!!!!!!!!!!!! #she is among my faves #my bug bias rears its head yet again #hatsune miku #vocaloid #project voltage #pokemon #omg i actually drew some pokemon for this one. look at me go #kricketune #kricketot #my art #that sketch is totally my new wallpaper. MMMM good stuff #its stupidly cute to me. like i finished the miku and wailed upon seeing her #i like when i like my own art :)))

[egophiliac]

this is basically what happened, right?

(these guys are very lucky that everyone at NRC 1) has the combined intelligence of a sack of bricks, and 2) is easily distracted by shiny things.)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #stage in playful land #stage in playfulland #these two are SO sleazy and i am utterly delighted by them #can't wait to find out their tragic backstory in approximately 3-4 weeks! #fortunately i have like a month to figure out how the heck to draw their hair (spoiler: i will never figure it out) #also. god. i love it whenever leona accidentally reveals his Mom Side. #he doesn't care about any of this but he WILL be tagging along to make sure no one else gets into trouble #once again he has to be the Responsible Adult and he hates it. the whimsical hat weighs heavy upon his head. #anyway this is me so excuse me while i now talk about diasomnia for three hours #but lilia being all 'kids gotta have some adventure in their lives!' is hilarious #specifically because you know silver would NEVER. #100% silver not only never snuck out but he always went to bed on time AND brushed his teeth AND flossed even when nobody made him. #lilia: aww but you should be enjoying your youth! >:c #silver: i am. i enjoy being respectful and disciplined and honoring you as my father. #lilia: #lilia: maybe i'm TOO good at raising kids #you know i was going to say none of his kids would be involved in this but i actually think malleus definitely would #he would not see it as a moral quandry though. he would just be excited to be invited along. #(the only reason he isn't there is because he was busy admiring a termite-infested beam somewhere and yuu didn't get a chance to ask him) #i mean MAYBE if lilia as his single authority figure told him no then he would have some reservations #but lilia's the one who's screaming HELL YEAH LET'S SNEAK OUT AND DEFY AUTHORITY while dabbing so moot point there #sebek would never and he would rat on everyone else. unless malleus is going in which case he's already there. #and i guess if everyone else is going silver probably would too #but he'd. y'know. feel conflicted about it.

[tojisun]

thinkin about simon smokin while you’re sitting on his lap, all pretty and docile, playing with the loose threads of his sweater. he taps your thigh and you turn to him because you know what he wants – he made sure you know it well, after all.

you part your pouty lips open, batting your long lashes as simon leans in before blowing the smoke into your mouth. you inhale it slowly, having been taught by him how to properly shotgun, and simon groans at how good you are being. then, he finally leans in to kiss you because you deserve to be rewarded <333

#suns.hc #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #IM SO MAD I WANNA EXPERIENCE THIS AGAIN #its so bad when u dont know how to but holy fuck the thrill and the underlying sensuality of it got me so addicted #suns

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[inspisart]

dick took the news that a strange thirteen year old broke into his apartment while he was away at the circus pretty well, I gotta say

#this is not how the interaction played out in the issue btw lol I'm just having a bit of fun #tim drake #dick grayson #batfam #dc #the new titans issue 65 #inspi art #I remember being baffled when i read ALPOD and tim broke into dick’s apartment like it was nothing to find out where he’d gone #like where did he learn that? reddit? #I chalked it up to comicbook goofiness and wolfman stretching suspension of disbelief a little to keep the plot moving #which is why it surprised me when they acknowledged it again #and by doing so cemented tim knowing how to pick locks and being used to breaking into apartments as a canon fact(TM) #and so hence forth he would continued to be a little contradictory weirdo who’s both normal and incredibly not normal at the same time

[journey-to-the-attic]

approximation of an idea i had for how ik solves levi's ordeal whenever it's his turn for this weird demon puberty everyone in nb s2 is having

from this post

#obey me #art #ik gets nightbrought #obey me leviathan #jtta ik #also i nicked the makes-it-rain-when-sad from neuvillette again #nightbringer #edit added the link to the post and PUT THE WORD IT INTO THE 2ND PANEL BECAUSE I FORGOT THE FIRST TIME SOMEHOW #this is what i call ik's nightbringer outfit now btw!! just to distinguish it from classic jtta #and also since she'd probably have a style change in the time between yknow #big jumper has been swapped for big cardigan and that's the main difference #also just for variety she has her hair tied up