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lazytitans-world · 2 months

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My research findings on the production of Wish

Never have I seen a fan community do so much with so little than I have with Wish. And to start off, I want to say that you should watch the movie first before going into this and the Starboy fandom as I believe it to be important on forming your own opinion before moving on as I find most of the fandom to have a negative view of the movie, one I do not really share. I found Wish to be fine. I did not hate it, but I did not love it like I do other Disney animated films. But the many rewrites, drawings and animatics featuring character designs that did not make it far in production have become icons in this community inspired me to do a deep dive to see if I could find where in production these concepts died and why.

To save you a read, this production was a victim of simplicity. I feel that many concepts and story ideas were tossed away due to complicating the story, which was always going to focus on Asha trying to save the wishes of her fellow kingdom citizens with the help of a wishing star. I have read many articles and watched a few deleted scenes from the home release and here are my findings.

Starboy never got far in development as the book states that the team went down "a few blind alleys" that lead them to star having a human design for a period. This is probably the period in time where all the Starboy concept art came from and where a potential romantic subplot with Asha was kicked around. It was.

What did Starboy in was the team's choice to make them a shapeshifter as the team thought the character was way overpowered and thus the story lost a lot of dramatic tension (a choice I kind of agree with). It was here where the design team decided that Star needed an overhaul and brought the Story Development artists in and this is where Starboy died and plush Star was finalized.

There are no official storyboards that feature the Starboy designs.

At the start of Wish's production, Frozen 2 was entering it's final stage of production (this would be either late 2018 or early 2019) and was obviously the main focus for Disney animation not to mention projects like Raya and the Last Dragon, Strange World and Encanto were entering their mid development stages before the shutdown.

The effects of the global shutdown were not mentioned in the book, but I would not be shocked if production was affected by it.

Ariana DeBose has said that Wish did not need a love story as she said that,

“I think we live in a time where things are cyclical, right? And so, it’s good for variance and perspective. Not every female Disney character needs to have a go and ambition of simply finding a man to love her. There are more stories to tell.

"And especially in the world we live in today I think something like Wish, that has a broader outlook that talks about community, is just as important as talking about love. And there are so many different ways to love."

"You do see familiar love, love of friendship" in the movie, including the relationship between Asha and Star. Star and Asha have this beautiful connection with each other and so I think it’s good reminding people that not only we can tell different stories, we can also talk about love in different ways.”(source: Exclusive: Wish’s Ariana DeBose defends lack of romance in recent Disney movies (yahoo.com)) whether Ariana had any say on story or character development is unknown.

7. From what I read from the Art of Wish book, the story was always meant to be about Asha defying Magnifico to fight for the people of Rosas and their wishes.

8. As it pertains to "At All Costs", a song that many are saying was meant to be a love song between Asha and Star, in an article by Variety(Julia Michaels Wrote 'Wish' Theme Before the Script Even Existed (variety.com), it states that a love song was not in the film at the time of production and songwriter Julia Michaels "wanted to write a song that as a standalone sounded like a love song that could be played at weddings."

Michaels would go on to say, "How cool would it be if we wrote a song that if you listened to on its own, it sounds like a love song, it could be something you could play at your wedding, or be a lullaby to your kids, just something really beautiful, but when you watch the film, it’s the heroine and it’s the villain.” She continues, “You realize they’re coming about this both from various points, one from a very selfless standpoint and one from a selfish standpoint.”

9. In the same Variety article, it was revealed that for some time in 2020, no script existed for the movie, but Julia Michaels was asked to be the songwriter for the movie and that is where she pitched "This Wish" which would go on to be one of the first songs revealed for the movie.

10. the Variety article also had Jennifer Lee, head of Disney Animation and one of the writers on Wish, say that she wanted a song that showed "it felt like to hold someone’s wish in your hand. How do we viscerally understand that when you’re with them, you feel like you’re holding someone’s raison d’être?” that song would end it being "At All Costs"

11. September 9, 2022, D23 Expo in Anaheim California. This is where certain members of the public got a glimpse of the production of Wish. Jennifer Lee, writer and director Chris Buck, and co-director Fawn Veerasunthorn spoke about the movie and showed the first look of the finalized design of Star which ended up being the mute plush model that ended up in the movie. This means there was a 3-year gap where Starboy and the romance side plot were discussed then shelved.

It was also during this show where the public would learn that Ariana DeBuse would voice Asha and that Alan Tudyk, a staple of past Disney animated films, would have a featured role in the movie as Asha's pet goat Valentino, who would be able to talk thanks to Star's magic. It was also at that show where DuBose came out to sing "This Wish" but at the time the song was called "More for Us".

Magnifico was not revealed at the event but was teased as "one of the most formidable foes in Disney history" which is debatable to say the least.

12. 5 deleted scenes in total appear on the Wish digital and disc copies each introduced by head of story Mark Kennedy where he would describe why the scene got cut. One scene shows Amaya assisting Magnifico in his plan, tying into an early concept where she was a villain alongside him.

Another scene had Asha, Star (who in this scene could shape shift and talk) and Valentino try to sneak into Rosas before being spotted and chased by Amaya, once again acting antagonistic to Asha.

A scene had Magnifco gather the people of Rosas to demand Star be given to him, as he had never seen Star in this version, and Asha her friends try to distract him by having Valentino, who in this version had a more Steve Carell like voice, pretend to be Star while the real Star, who was voiced in this version and was designed as ball of light with eyes and mouth, was trying to free the captured wishes. This scene was changed because they wanted Magnifco to be more threatening and instead of asking the people for Star, he would capture Star. Kennedy would go on to say that they wanted Asha and Magnifico to be smart and that Asha would not do a plan that silly, and they wanted the climax to be Magnifico and Asha alone, so they set it on a platform high above Rosas.

The next scene featured an ally of Asha's named Flazino that was cut out in order to shrink her friend group and tied the group back to the seven dwarfs from Snow White.

Finally, there was a scene where Asha and her grandfather scaled a wishing tree with her grandfather Sabino that showcased their bond but also Sabino's insistence that Asha take down Magnifico.

Each of these scenes felt completely different to the movie that ended up being released.

13. It should be noted that Wish released only a short while after the 2023 Writers and Actors strikes, which meant that for most of the summer and fall of that year, the actors could not do any press for the movie and all marketing was done through ads, trailers and merchandise.

14. As revealed in an article for Disney twenty-three, a magazine for gold members of the Disney D23 Fanclub, in the early visual development stage, there was a test scene that Asha was briefly transported to the village from Pinocchio. This was done to see how the 3D character designs would match with the hand drawn, watercolor backgrounds of classic Disney movies.

15. In that same article, Chris Buck said that in regard to Magnifico's character development that they wanted the audience "to see the evolution of a villain, so he's not a monster from frame one". From what becomes of Magnifico I get what they tried to do, they wanted to show how a character falls into villainy even if they're intentions are good. It also stands with the modern writing style of Disney animation films trying to update classics, this time by having audiences start off by kind of liking the villain through their personality alone.

18. The article also briefly mentions that Star "went through many iterations" another hint of Starboy being considered as a final design.

19. In the Art of Wish book, there is a page that shows the script where Asha meets Star and Star is described as a "cuddly, 3D, five-pointed star." This would indicate that the Starboy concept never got to the scripting stages.

20. In Art of Wish, the reason why Star does not speak is because the film makers wanted to stick to a tenet of film making, show don't tell.

21. Star's face was inspired by the mask like face of early Mickey Mouse cartoons.

22. From all readings, it is safe to say that Asha was NEVER considered to be a princess in any of the iterations of the story as some writers felt it to be too safe of a choice and liked the idea of an ordinary citizen going against the established power of the king.

23. During production, the Disney CEO position changed twice as Bob Iger left the company in early 2020 and named Bob Chapek as his replacement before returning to the company in mid 2023. It is unknown if these changes had any effects of Wish's production as it was it stated development as Iger's first tenure was ending but took place during a majority of Chapek's time.

24. When Angelique Cabal, who voiced Amaya in Wish, first auditioned for the role the character in 2022 Amaya was written as a villain while Magnifico was supposed to be the good king. It was when she returned for the callback that Amaya was changed to what she ended up being in the movie. Source https://www.cinemablend.com/interviews/how-one-character-disney-wish-completely-changed-during-production

In closing, for fans of the Starboy concept, it saddens me to say that it looks the idea only made it as far as concept art as at the time of writing this, no animated sequences, scripts or storyboards have been released that had Star in a human design or discussed a romantic relationship with Asha. I believe the writing team found a romantic relationship between Star and Asha too complicated for the story and decided to simplify the relationship and design of Star to better suit the plot of Asha going against Magnifico. I am disappointed Wish did not go with the more interesting concepts but maybe down the line we'll get that cosmic Disney romance and a villain couple, it just has to work with the story.

I want to say thank you for those that made it to the end, this movie has been on my mind for quite a while and seeing all the re-writes, drawings and animations people have done for Starboy and Asha has been amazing to see. These works have inspired me to rewatch Wish at some point to see if Starboy could have worked in the movie with the story as is, and even share how I would have changed a few things in the story to fit the character and a romantic subplot with Asha plus an idea on how to bring in Starboy while still staying true to the established cannon.

I do hope others watch and enjoy Wish as from what I have read the team did put a lot of effort to makes this movie worthy of not only the high standards Disney animation has set, but as a piece of the 100-year story telling of the Walt Disney company. Film making is already hard enough as it is, especially in animation, but having to make a movie with an original concept and characters that still pays tribute to 100 years of storytelling is a daunting task and I understand and respect the choices they made when making the film and you should as well.

#disney #disney wish #asha x star #starboy #wish reimagined #wish rewrite #wish 2023 #wish #disney star

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vlovers19 · 4 years

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Hi I don't send asks bcoz my English is not good so bare with me 🤧 but I see lot of Vm shippers thinking Vm's suddenly stopping vlives has something to do with their romantic interest in each other and i was also confused but then I saw this tarot reading i don't believe in these things but it made sense to me u should read it it's on Tumblr search for "bangtan all day" then search "Vmin tarot reading" and it really explains what was going on between vm in 2016/17/18. Btw i luv your blog ❤️😍

First of all, I do not believe in tarot reading and the reason is this. These days, there are a lot of fake people who will mislead others for their own benefit. They will tell you what you want to hear as long as it gets them more views and likes on you tube or on their blog. I have read lots of tarot readings about Bts and the funny thing is that not a single one of them drew the same conclusions. They always have different meanings especially when it comes to shipping.

Take for instance now, you will ask one tarot reader if Taekook is real. They will tell you that they are and that they have been in a relationship for years and have been hiding their feelings from the public. At the same time, ask another reader if jikook is real and they will tell you the same thing that they have been in a relationship for a long time also. Same thing with Yoonmin and other pairings. So what is the truth? There isn't because there are a lot of biasness. People just want to believe what they want to believe so these people tell you what you generally know but will twist it in a way that makes it look believable.

It is very few that might be actually legit but those few come from older more experienced tarot readers. People with many years of experience. Yet even with that, the outcome isn't a hundred percent sure because human beings are very unpredictable.

Ultimately, I do not believe in tarot readings especially when it comes to human emotions. I'd rather take a look at a situation and critically analyse it. I rely a lot on others interactions, my senses and my feelings rather than on what someone else says about a group of people they might not even know. They can say a bunch of things and people will just buy it because they desperately want to believe it. There are so many predictions especially when it comes to shipping.

I just read the post which you where talking about and I'm not really surprised because it's something i had already deduced even without reading a tarot card or something. if you are very observative and you take a look at vmin's relationship, trace their history, you will notice how things gradually changed between them. How there was an awkwardness between them from 2016 till 2018. And then you will ask yourself, why is this friendship of theirs so complicated?

We will roughly examine Vmin's history and check the possibility of them developing feelings for each other. Let me remind you, i mentioned possibility meaning it's not a certainty and so, we'll start from the beginning.

We all know how their friendship began. High school best friends who did everything together. Went to school together. They where basically inseparable. But then, they got into a kpop group with six other boys whom they where already acquainted with.

Where things going to remain the same between these boys? Definitely not. Things where going to change. They where going to find themselves drifting apart from each other whether they wanted to or not.

Taehyung has always been a social butterfly. He likes meeting a lot of people and trying out new things. It was due to this that him and Jimin even became close. For a while, they had each other and probably Jimin was so used to getting Taehyung's attention. In 2014, Taehyung posted a pic holding hands with Jimin. The caption on the picture was let's keep going for a long time, i only have you. If you ask me, these are very strong words. It basically means that no matter what happens, your bond with each other will be unbreakable. You'll be friends for ever. The person whom such promise is made to will never forget it. We are sure Jimin would never forget that. They have both used strong words to describe their relationship with each other.

"You are more than a close friend. You're my savior so you are very precious to me" Jimin 2015

"Jimin gives to me an existence that only a unique best friend can only have. When I'm full of worry, Jimin's answers give me strength. Recently, I was in a song writing trance and talked to Jimin about it for two hours. He's the warmest person I've ever met" Taehyung 2019

But their friendship wasn't perfect. They often fought. Jimin could attest to that. I don't have the clip here but Jimin personally revealed that him and Taehyung had once fought in the park but they eventually made up immediately after because they find it difficult keeping grudges with each other.

Moving forward, 2016 was sort of like the breaking point for BTS. They started to get more recognition with hit songs such as Blood sweat and tears, Fire. Their horizon is broadening. Things where bound to change for all the members of BTS. It was also around 2016 that Taehyung starred in a drama series titled Hwarang. During filming, he developed a very strong friendship with the rest of the cast popularly called Hwarang. Over time, they bonded and Taehyung began to hang out a lot with them.

There is something i want to add here, Jimin no doubt felt jealous during this time not only because Taehyung was hanging out with other people. There was one more important reason why i think he was upset. Now, Jimin had hyped up Taehyung's drama series showing his support for his friend such that there was a time Yoongi even made fun of him because of that only for Taehyung to begin professing love for his Hwarang hyungs.

Jimin and the rest of the members where upset about it but Jimin took it especially hard and Taehyung found it funny at the time. Jimin's anger was the fact that Taehyung always said I love you to the Hwarang members but never to Bts. It probably left him feeling like Taehyung didn't value them as much anymore. Taehyung responded that he felt awkward saying such a thing to Bts because he considers them as his family. Here's an interview vmin had in 2017. If you read the excerpt below, you will find that this indeed caused some of rift in their relationship.

Now, here is where i think something happened. Because Taehyung wanted to try new things didn't mean that he was getting bored of being with Jimin. He had just always been someone with a big heart who loves having a social network around him. Jimin has been well aware of this. He knows what Taehyung is like but then, i guess Jimin started feeling like he had to be a priority in Taehyung's life thus things probably started to happen. Probably, Jimin wanted him to be more affectionate. Taehyung starts getting stuffy due to Jimin's clinginess. They probably argued a lot over this then the push and pull thing started. Taehyung starts getting confused and decides to become independent from Jimin to give himself space from him. Jimin is the type who tries to mantain peace. He might have tried to ignore the tension going on but Taehyung can't do that which causes a strain in their relationship. Why i do believe this might have happened is because these two don't just see each other as only friends. They see each other as being more than that so therefore they take each other very seriously and they would definitely get into lots of arguments when they feel one of them is taking their friendship for granted. You can see this from one of BTS interviews but then again, they where asked this same question some time later. We can see that Vmin's answers are totally different from the previous ones which clearly showed that there was a change in their relationship.

2016 marked a change in vmin where they probably started to realize that their relationship wasn't just the normal one. They had to determine what it was they really wanted. Taehyung was probably more affected by this than Jimin which could be why he was the one who decided to draw a line between them. This had nothing to do with Big hit or the other members. It was just between vmin. Probably, the other members where even unaware of what was going on. I want to add here that Jimin later released his first solo song later that year titled lie and when you listen to the song or listen to the lyrics, you will get the feeling that Jimin was in pain, trying to run away from a never ending cycle of torment brought about by his lies. (I have an analysis of this one). Spring day was released around this time also and i also have a feeling it involved vmin. I think the death of Taehyung's grandmother sort of recovered their bond. Jimin was really a comfort to Taehyung at this time.

2017 seemed a better year for them. Though the group started getting busier and more popular, you would notice a change in the relationship between vmin. They started getting more expressive in their feelings. The hand holding, the I love you handsigns began. The hugs and clinginess. Take a good look at vmin isac in 2017 and you will understand what i mean. Totally different from their past behaviors in previous isac.

They obviously patched things up between themselves. Their relationship improved for a while. but the vlives and the selcas stopped. They also started doing independent things, having their separate group of friends.

There was still a boundary between them. However, it was also at this time that they started to release songs. Taehyung began with his song 4: o'clock which he released with RM and that song was inspired by a feeling Taehyung had when he was waiting for Jimin at a park. Serendipity could be about vmin but it wasn't a song Jimin wrote by himself which is why i'm a bit confused about it but there was some element of his own emotions inside. However, when the music video got released, i was a bit convinced that the song had something to do with the relationship between vmin (i also have my own analysis about this) It was at this time that they took up the representation of sun and Moon as depicted in DNA, serendipity by Jimin, singularity by Taehyung. Let's not forget Taehyung's bon voyage letter to Jimin and how he cried so much signifying that they had both gone through a lot in their friendship. Jimin's response to it clarifies the whole thing, even when he added that no one else not even the members would understand why Taehyung cried except for him or how Jimin himself felt after reading Taehyung's letter. The trip helped them to understand their feelings for each other. Pretty deep if you ask me. Watch the video for your self and you'll understand what I'm getting at.

However, 2018 was where a big challenge set in. Their popularity skyrocketed to the max. All eyes where on the group both locally and internationally. They all started to get more and more separated from each other. Their private lives was intruded upon especially due to their documentary burn the stage: the movie where they had to constantly be recorded. They also started to have separate rooms whenever they lodged into hotels. I guess it was at this time they all started having their separate apartments. They weren't together all the time like before. Much was demanded from this group and this affected Jimin a lot because he talked about the feeling of loneliness he was experiencing at that time and Jimin isn't someone who can stay alone. According to him, he couldn't rely on the other members because they too where going through the same thing he was going through. It was also at this time Jimin started to write his own song promise. It was the first song he had personally written. He revealed that the song was about himself but there where clearly two characters in that song. Jimin and an unknown person.

No one would have thought that the group was considering disbanding at that time. It wasn't until 2019 when receiving their dasaeng that Jin revealed this secret. We can only imagine how bad things where for them to consider disbanding. It was also at this time that Taehyung's grandfather died and it was also here that we see the closeness and bond between Jimin and Taehyung especially during bon voyage Malta where Jimin did everything he could to comfort Taehyung. I think the death of Taehyung's grandfather sort of restored their bond. Jimin was still writing promise around that time. When the song released, he revealed that at first, the song was a dark song but later, he found it difficult to complete it because things started to get better in the group. Are we starting to see the pattern?

On October, Taehyung revealed the Christmas song he had wanted to release with Jimin but which was eventually rejected due to the lyrics. Things had improved so well between them that Taehyung wanted to sing a song with Jimin and when he couldn't do that, he couldn't help unburdening his anguish with Army. He was clearly upset about it.

Jimin released promise as a free song on sound cloud meaning it was a song he sang from the heart. It wasn't for his personal gain. What was strange was that Jimin released promise on December 31st Taehyung's birthday. He released it exactly after midnight and guess who took the pictures for promise cover. Taehyung himself. Are we still seeing the pattern? Exactly one month later, Taehyung released his own solo titled Scenery on January 31st and on listening to the lyrics one will get the indication like he's trying to woo someone. Jimin was particularly hyped about the song that he accidentally spilled about it even before it's release. On August 2019, Taehyung also released his song winter bear. Plenty of indications also point that the song is about Jimin.

Anyway, 2016 till 2018 was a challenging time not only for Vmin but for the rest of the members but it was a challenge that was necessary to create a better bond between Vmin as we can clearly see in 2019 and even from the beginning of this year. The love and affection between vmin is obvious. There are still challenges but i think they have learned over time on how to deal with their differences. Like I've said before, I do not believe that they're dating but they know how they feel about each other. They are aware of that but there are priorities and it's just going to be weird and uncomfortable for everyone involved if they give in to such feelings.

This is just my own speculations concerning the relationship between vmin. I don't need a tarot reading to clarify this much. Though, it's only a speculation, we have to admit that it sort of adds up. This is only a general take on my opinion concerning Vmin and the possibility of a relationship between them so it's not really an analysis. Anyway i enjoyed writing this and if you're interested in hearing my thoughts on vmin, do let me know and thank you so much for liking my blog.

#vmin #jimin #Taehyung #bts #vmin analysis

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diarrheaworldstarhiphop · 5 years

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Five years ago, while a student at Columbia, Sulkowicz lugged a dorm-issue, extra-long twin mattress around campus for as long as she had to attend school with her alleged rapist. This was Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight), a globally viral art piece that made visible the weight of campus sexual assault. It transformed Sulkowicz into an icon. Since then, her artworks have regularly roused the internet: a video of her reenacting her assault, a bondage performance at the Whitney that doubled as institutional critique. This past spring, she tweeted an image that was perhaps even more provocative: a photo of her grinning alongside two of her libertarian critics — not performance art, she insists, but a byproduct of her new curiosity about other views.

“All my clothes are in boxes,” she tells me, gesturing apologetically to her oversize charcoal hoodie. She’s in the midst of moving from a sublet owned by a tantra instructor (mirrors surrounding the bed to create an infinite regression — that kind of thing) to an apartment in lower Manhattan whose location she asks me not to reveal, since “there’s some really scary people who are obsessed with me.” Her hair is short-cropped and coffee black, its natural color after years of bright dyes, and her voice is buoyant, laughter always bubbling underneath. Since 2016, Sulkowicz has identified as gender fluid, and she sometimes uses they/them pronouns. When I ask what to use for this article, she texts me, “Lol I’m not clear about it either,” before settling on she/her.

During the summer of 2018, Sulkowicz tells me, she was single for the first time in years. Swiping through Tinder, a man she found “distasteful” super-liked her. “It smelled like Connecticut,” she says of his profile. “He was very blond, law school, cut jawline, trapezoidal body figure, tweed suit kind of vibe, but something inside of me made me swipe right, I don’t know.” They began messaging, and she found him witty. “He was actually way more fun to talk to than any other person I matched with.”

Eventually, Sulkowicz stalked him on Twitter and realized that he was conservative — “like, very conservative.” At first, she was repulsed and considered breaking it off. But then she thought, “Wait, actually, that’s kind of fucked up because he’s the most interesting person I’ve come across, shouldn’t I be open to talking to him?” After dispelling her initial fear, she texted him that it would be “interesting (progressive? Powerful?) for two people who might be the antithesis of each other to go on a Tinder date.”

Ahead of this date, they traded reading assignments: Sulkowicz gave him the password to protected areas of her website, and he sent pieces he’d written for conservative magazines, which she printed, annotated with her critiques, and brought to their date. This man expected Sulkowicz to be “the patron saint of wokeness,” but when he met her, he found that she wasn’t actually trying to litigate the issues — she was mostly just “curious about this different perspective that she had not been as familiar with.” The two “sort of dated” for a while and then realized that their chemistry was more conversational. They became “amazing friends.”

Not having known conservatives before, Sulkowicz had to play catch up. Early in their friendship, she asked him to recommend one book to help her understand him, and he picked Jonathan Haidt’s The Righteous Mind. It’s a book that explains, in evolutionary terms, the human tendency toward political tribalism and the importance, in light of that, of learning from one another’s beliefs. She calls the book “mind-opening.” Its resonance with her new friendship did not escape her.

Shortly after, Sulkowicz attended a book talk of Haidt’s. This was for The Coddling of the American Mind, which diagnoses the campus left with the kinds of cognitive distortions that addle the chronically anxious and depressed: a tendency to blow everyday problems out of proportion, or to believe that one’s negative feelings reflect reality. This book kicked a hornet’s nest on the left, and when Haidt learned that Sulkowicz was at his talk, he didn’t assume she was a fan. “I expected her to be the sort of person who sometimes asks the angry question when I give lectures on campuses,” Haidt tells me. “And when I first saw her and she had blue hair, that fed my assumptions and expectations about what her views and values would be.” But Sulkowicz surprised him. “It changed the way I think about politics,” she said about The Righteous Mind, “and I wanted to thank you for it.” The two became friends.

Soon, she began attending house parties and happy hours with conservative and libertarian intellectuals, reading Jordan Peterson and articles from the National Review. In the past, Sulkowicz dismissed opposing views without understanding them, but now she sees intellectual curiosity as intertwined with respect: she wants to disagree with people on their own terms. This is an ethical position, but one with personal resonance. “I’ve always been upset,” she admits, “that there are people out there who assume that I’m a bad or mean person without ever having met me.” When she describes her political journey, she fixates on the experience of surprising people, of walking into a group who might otherwise dislike her and “disrupting their expectations.” At these parties, she reflects, “I can become fuller to certain people rather than staying the same caricature. I’m going from flat to round.”

- - -

A couple weeks after our lunch, Sulkowicz brings me to a book party at a dark bar on Bleecker Street. Here, she introduces me to her friend from Tinder, who asks that I not use his real name for this article. (It might be a distraction at his white-shoe law firm and, besides, “Emma is inured to online hate, but I am not.”) When he asks if he can choose his own pseudonym, I tell him sure. He picks Chad. It’s a reference to the incel term for men who, due to serendipitous genetics, are attractive enough to have oodles of sex. All of us laugh, but Sulkowicz laughs loudest, her voice tinkling, bell-like, and leaping between octaves.

Chad is a Chad, by the way, and he does “smell like Connecticut”: he has cornsilk hair, a shieldlike chest, and a jawline that an incel might show his surgeon for inspiration. But Chad is also a different kind of conservative than I imagined. Rather than a bowtie-sporting William F. Buckley type thumbing his nose at populism, he finds Reaganism laughably passé and aligns himself with Tucker Carlson’s anti-elite drive to regulate markets. He says that he would support some of Trump’s policy agenda, if only the president were competent enough to achieve it.

This party is for Robby Soave, a libertarian reporter on the snowflake beat whose new book, Panic Attack: Young Radicals in the Age of Trump, is — per Soave’s own description — “a book that is extremely critical of [Sulkowicz] and that I don’t wish her to read.” Soave met Sulkowicz a month or so before at another libertarian happy hour. Initially bewildered, he warmed to her, finding her to be inquisitive and even fun to talk to. “We exchanged contact information,” he tells me later, “and talked about maybe becoming, I guess, friends or something?” He laughs incredulously as he says this, sounding a bit on edge.

As Sulkowicz swirls around the party, her presence stirs an obvious question: whether this is performance art. Soave brings it up twice when we speak on the phone afterward, acknowledging the possibility that he’s being set up. While he’s inclined to believe that Sulkowicz is moved by earnest curiosity, he’s aware of her background in “elaborately planned performance art” and her reputation as a provocateur. Since graduating from Columbia in 2015, Sulkowicz has done around a dozen performances touching on issues like consent, anti-institutionalism, climate change, trauma, wellness, and female sexual desire. It’s natural to wonder if she’s currently breaking bread with this crowd to lampoon civility politics or to expose views she hates. Honestly, it might be harder to believe that she’s simply trying to learn.

But Sulkowicz is adamant that this isn’t performance. In fact, she insists that she’s quitting art altogether. After one of our lunches, she bikes off to return the keys to her studio, which she’s emptied and swept clean. “For many years,” she explains, “I wasn’t interested in listening to other points of view. I was very emotional and making performance-art pieces that were very reactionary and fiery.” Without disowning them, she describes these artworks as something she “got out of her system.”

Having found the art world humorless, narrow-minded, and grotesquely competitive, Sulkowicz says she stopped making art about a year ago. She quit a fellowship at a museum, ceased teaching art classes, and was essentially unemployed for a time, drawing income from occasional speaking gigs, mostly about campus sexual assault. (Her remarks on Me Too have been fewer; she supports it, but wants a clearer path to forgiveness.) She has been working on a memoir that draws on her diaries from Mattress Performance, and last month, she started a full-time, four-year master’s program in traditional Chinese medicine. There, she’ll learn skills from acupuncture to herbalism, which have been her “personal healing modality” for years. Sulkowicz has parried assumptions that this is performance art, too. It grates on her. “I’m a human and humans can change,” she says, insistently. “I’m telling you that I don’t want to make art anymore.”

But in some ways, it’s easier to assume that Sulkowicz’s political posture is performance art: this provides a clear motive, one that’s politically straightforward. If Sulkowicz is not making art, then it’s much harder to grasp why she’s doing this and what it means. Part of the confusion, Sulkowicz assumes, springs from a pervasive misunderstanding about who she is, rooted in the dissonance between her public image and private consciousness. While many assume she’s at Soave’s book party for some admixture of art and progressive politics, Sulkowicz says she’s mostly there for fun.

#emma sulkowicz #profile #mattress performance (carry that weight)#politics #power

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theeverlastingshade · 4 years

Text

Favorite EP of 2019: Feet of Clay- Earl Sweatshirt

Earl Sweatshirt’s masterful 2018 LP Some Rap Songs may have cemented his status as one of the greatest rappers alive, but with his recently released second EP Feet of Clay he proved that he’s much further beyond his contemporaries than anyone could have realized. On a purely technical level he’s been among the most talented rappers alive since he was 15, and while his writing has only gotten better with each release, FoC, like SRS before it, actively pushes the form to new heights. FoC is dense, deconstructionist rap that fundamentally challenges what can fit within that context. Earl’s rapping often sidesteps the beats entirely, and his vocals aren’t mixed neatly over them so much as they simply collide through them. FoC is hip hop first and foremost, but like SRS it incorporates elements of avant-garde jazz, noise, and ambient, and to strictly refer to the music as the former betrays the intricacies of his approach. Understandably, it’s been the most polarizing release of his date. Even while clocking in at 15 minutes there’s an absurd amount to unpack, but spend some time with FoC and it will reward your patience several times over.

FoC is the ideal follow-up to SRS in that it’s a work within the same vein as the latter but it pushes that same aesthetic towards embracing more abstract compositions, flows, and imagery. The production is handled primarily by Earl (with The Alchemist having produced “Mtomb” and Ovrkast having produced “El Toro Combo Meal”) and like its predecessor the beats consist of loop-based compositions defined by jarring, dissonant textures and murky ambience. FoC was described by Earl as “a collection of observations and feelings recorded during the death throes of a crumbling empire” and that sense of gloom and decay is realized to great effect on songs like “74” and “Tisk Tisk / Cookies”. It’s still a marvel to hear not only how Earl manages to rap over such seemingly counterintuitive beats, but also in the way that he’s developed as a producer. The conversation around Earl doesn’t acknowledge the impressive producer that he blossomed into nearly enough. Whether it’s the blaring accordion wail that perpetually threatens to unravel “East” at every turn or the loops from what sounds like a decomposing piano that frame “Tisk Tisk / Cookies” Earl’s never made bolder strides as a producer and the sonic lane that he’s carving out for himself is increasingly sounding like the work of no one else.

More so than anything else, the biggest draw here is once more the thrill of simply listening to Earl rap. There’s no other rapper alive that writes and raps as thoughtfully or as sharply as Earl. FoC is the latest in a progression of releases that finds him continuing to chisel down his ideas until only the barest essentials remain. The songs are succinct and economical, and feature some of Earl’s most unconventional flows with writing as clever and bleak as he’s proven capable on each of his past releases. While “Peanut” and “Riot” off of SRS were conceived after his father’s passing, FoC is the first release that Earl wrote and recorded in the wake of his passing. Unsurprisingly, FoC is the most insular release within a career that’s been defined by that descriptor. Earl tackles substance abuse, depression, healing, mourning, and memories of the person he once was with his sharp eye for detail and an increasingly wise beyond-his-years perspective. Nothing is heavy handed or mopey, but there’s a rawness to it that pervades even the most seemingly carefree moments. Given the greater context under which it was conceived, FoC feels like the most honest release that I’ve heard all year.

“Come get to know me at my innermost/My family business anguish, now I need atonement” Earl raps on “OD” referencing the family strife from his father leaving him when he was a child up through his death on January 3 2018. The song ends with a look back on his youth which was abruptly cut short when his EARL mixtape blew up “Feeling rushed, grew up quick/Trip around the sun, this my 25th, give it up/Gin and rum/We wasn’t supposed to be alive, no funny shit”. On “East” Earl reflects on losses and severed relationships in addition to the desire for his actions in life to live on after him despite believing in the inherent meaningless in the actions of humans “I wait to be the light shimmering from a star/Cognitive dissonance shattered and the necessary venom restored/As if it matters if you think it matters anymore”. On closer “4N” Earl strives for perseverance while holding down his ideals “Bend, we don’t break, swing we don’t miss/We just might be okay, the same voltage/Hold the charge like the phone lit/No regards for the bullshit” and ends FoC with a remark on the emotional purging that birthed it while suggesting that there’s still more than he can do for himself and others “It’s all I could spill/There’s more I could do”.

Although FoC doesn’t match the consistency of SRS the highs are just as strong as anything that Earl has ever released. Album opener “74” perfectly sets the tone for what’s to come with Earl unloading a barrage of bars the second the song starts over morose, lo-fi organ loops. It’s immediately jarring to hear how thoroughly he disregards the instrumental, approaching his delivery almost like free-jazz. “El Toro Combo Meal” finds Mavi delivering one of the EPs three features (the others being Mach-Hommy on “4N” and Liv.E on “Mtomb”), and it’s a rare show-stopping moment where an underdog actually holds his own before Earl finishes with a strong verse that touches on the isolation that he’s felt throughout his life. He shouts out recently passed beat music pioneer Ras G, references the Hayao Miyazaki film Spirited Away, the 04-05 Detroit Pistons, and Harry Potter, and reflects on the unfortunate human tendency to reignite old feuds. And on the phenomenal “Tisk Tisk / Cookies” Earl delivers one of the best verses that I’ve heard all year as he reflects on the loss of a loved one “Reelin’ from loss, yeah/Inner remorse, divorce your spirit and corpse, corpse/I tell you I’m hearing it all/The wisdom that’s in your remarks/The silliness in you I Mourn/The moments that’s tender and soft/I’m in ‘em, the memories got strong”.

FoC is unlikely to be embraced by anyone that was left cold by SRS, but those that are completely on board with Earl’s artistic growth have likely found plenty to love here. Every song on FoC demonstrates an unrelenting willingness on Earl’s part to forgo complacency and push his claustrophobic music to bracing new heights. FoC, like SRS before it, is heavily influenced by contemporary New York City underground hip-hop, and on both releases Earl pushed that scene’s lo-fi jazz-flecked grit in compelling new directions. FoC successfully distills the tension of noise music, the fleeting romanticism of ambient, and the chaotic unpredictability of free-jazz, resulting in music that’s far more exciting and unpredictable than what the vast majority of his contemporaries are doing. There’s no question that FoC is an inaccessible, and even alienating listen, but I’ve heard very few releases from 2019 that have packed as much compassion, intelligence, and humanity into them despite necessitating such patience. Earl has transitioned from being one of the most compelling rappers alive to transcending the form entirely.

Essentials: “Tisk Tisk / Cookies”, “El Toro Combo Meal” ft. Mavi, “74”

#earl sweatshirt #feet of clay #tan cressida #warner bros records

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fangirlshrewt97 · 5 years

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Venom Meets Goose

For: @lurkerviolin. Chancy I wanted to have this done by midnight but obviously I missed the deadline by a long shot, but I hope you like this!

Author(s): Fangirlshrewt97

Fandom: Venom (2018); Captain Marvel (2019)

Pairing: Venom/Eddie (can be romantic or platonic)

Characters: Venom, Eddie Brock, Goose (Captain Marvel)

Rating: Teens and Up

Warnings: Lots of swearing

Additional Tags: Attempt at humor, Crossover, Crack-fic (ish)

Summary: What would happen if/when Eddie and Venom met Goose? My 3k take on it.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18429209

“Stop being grumpy. It’s lame.”

“I am not being grumpy, I am angry with you V.”

“Stop being grouchy then.”

“Venom!”

“Eddie, I already apologized for eating all the chocolate Anne got us.”

“Venom, sorry is not enough. It was my favorite kind of chocolate. And you said that even if I eat it, you can still use the calories and taste the chocolate. You also know that that brand of chocolate is my favorite and it is imported. So in conclusion, fuck you.”

“I didn’t know!”

“Bullshit! You live inside my freaking brain. How the hell am I supposed to believe you.”

“...I’m not a mind-reader?”

Eddie growled out loud with enough anger to have Venom doing the equivalent of curling into himself and sending a wave of shame through their bond. Eddie hunched in tighter into his coat as a cool breeze passed through the street. He knew rationally he was acting childish, but could you blame him? He was finally getting his life back together, and after a full year with his stupid symbiote, they had finally figured out they were it for each other. He was happier than he had been in a long while. But he was also more petty than ever. And bloodthirsty, but at least the latter could be wholly attributed to the Symbiote.

“So where are we going?”

“Why don’t you just read my mind?” Eddie bit back.

“Eddie…” Venom whined. And god, how disconcerting was it to have an alien who lived inside him whine. Venom didn’t even have proper eyes, but somehow managed to convey the feeling of puppy dog eyes. Eddie hated him.

“Fuck off parasite.”

“Eddie!” Venom yelled, hurt and pouting. Pouting. His 10,000+ year old alien significant other was pouting at him because he was scolded for eating Eddie’s chocolate. God, when had his life become so fucking weird?

“I’m not apologizing.”

“Apologize.”

“No.”

“APOLOGIZE!”

“Ok, jeez, fine. I’m sorry. Quit yelling, someone is going to notice.”

“Who will notice? It is past midnight on a Wednesday. Everybody who is sane is already in bed. And if someone insane catches us, what is the difference?”

“I….” The more Eddie thought about it though, there was a weird logic to Venom’s point. “Fine, even if there is no difference, I’d rather avoid drawing unnecessary attention. Neither of us have a great history with good luck.”

“Are you going to tell me where we are going?”

“No.”

“Eddie.”

“You are getting repetetive.”

“You are being stubborn.”

“Wow, great observation there V.”

“What do you mean, no?

“I mean no, wanna hear it in Spanish? No!”

“Eddie!”

“Venom relax. We’ve been cooped up in the apartment for the past week so that I could finalize my article, and we just finished. So I thought we could celebrate by splitting open a certain box of chocolate. But since you already took care of that bit by yourself, we are just doing the second part of this celebration: going to the park for some fresh air.”

“Why are we doing this at midnight?”

“Because I finished the final edits past midnight.”

“Couldn’t the celebration have waited till tomorrow? You need sleep. Your seratonin levels are seriously low.”

“Low seratonin huh? Explains the depression.”

“Not funny.”

“I disagree. But anyways, do you really want to this tomorrow in the morning. In the sun. With a lot of other people?”

“It’d be a Thursday morning. There would not be a lot of people.”

“Still more than now.”

“Why the park?”

“Why not?”

“Because frsh air and going to the park are good for your health. And your history has been a tendency to often do the opposite of what is good for your health?”

“Oh you mean like accept an alien parasite into my body that tried to eat me from the inside out?”

“Eddie!”

Eddie just chuckled, sometimes Venom was just too easy to rile up. He started whistling as the two of them made their way to the lake in the center of the park, Venom liked to see the ducks. Well technically he liked to comment on all the different ways he’d like to eat them, but who’s paying attention to those details?

Eddie made his way to one of the benches on the edge of the lake, just before the bike path and sprawled onto it, spreading his legs and resting his head against the back of the bench.

It really was a quiet night for the city, if he concentrated he could hear faint sirens in the distance, and a screech from where a car skidded on the roads which were still slightly wet from the rain they had had that evening.

Of course, when does quiet ever last when you were part-time hero/part time human magnet for bad luck? Though in hindsight, no one could have predicted the shape this particular disaster was going to take.

Eddie was close to straight up dozing in the bench when Venom startled so bad Eddie spasmed off the bench and braced himself on the ground to ease the fall.

“V, what the fuck?”

“Eddie, Danger!”

Eddie tensed, eyes scanning the area for anything out of the ordinary. “Where?”

“I don’t know.”

“What? What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I just. Damn it, there is something strange in the park Eddie. I don’t like it, but I can’t … find it.”

Eddie took a calm breath to calm down because this was Venom we are talking about, he could feel everything. If something was able to avoid him, they were in such big shit. Damn it, Ann was going to kill him if he died in the park to an alien at 1 in the morning.

But before either could think of a plan, a meow sounded behind them. Venom covered Eddie and launched himself over the bench, mouth pulled back to reveal all his teeth, expanding to make himself look as big as possible.

There on the bench they had just been sitting on was a cat. Just a normal orange cat. It tilted it’s head at the sight of them, but otherwise showed no other reaction. Huh, most cats tended to flee from him when he was masked by Venom. They also had been avoiding him in general since he had bonded with Venom.

“Venom?”

“Yeah?”

“Please tell me that you are also sleep deprived. Because what other possible reason could you have for being so terrified of. A. FREAKING. CAT?”

“Eddie. That is not a cat.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That is not a cat.”

“Yes it is. Look at it. It is orange, it is feline shaped, and it is just sitting there.”

“That doesn’t make it not a cat.”

“What the hell else is it?”

“I don’t know. But I don’t like it. Can we please leave?”

“Are you telling me you’re scared of a stray cat?”

“Eddie shut up. Can we leave?”

“But…”

“Now.”

Eddie debated whether it was worth it to argue, but his exhaustion won out over his curiosity and he agreed. “Fine, let’s go home.”

---

It was almost 2 weeks before they saw the cat again, and Eddie was aware of each day of those two weeks because Venom was doing the equivalent of pacing a hole in the floor in his brain and Eddie was getting a stronger urge by the second to find a way to strangle his symbiote.

“Venom stop that!”

“Eddie I can still feel that strange presence around us. Something is following us.”

“Where? Even in the park all there was was a normal cat.”

“It wasn’t a cat!”

“What was it then?!” Eddie bit back, tired of arguing this point.

“Can we go patrolling tonight?”

“No, I have an assignment due soon.”

“But, please. Eddie. We will be fast.”

“No.”

Venom whined and then started doing his stupid ‘puppy-dog-eyes’ emotion vibe again and Eddie growled because as much as he did have to complete this assignment, he hated to disappoint his symbiote. Venom truly asked for very little. Didn’t mean he was going to go without a fight.

“Why do I keep you around?”

Without missing a beat, Venom replied “Because the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own.”

“Fuck you.”

“I love you too Eddie!”

---

Their patrol that night was a bust, but Eddie knew it would be better to let Venom burn off that energy now rather risk Venom becoming restless again.

“V, stop complaining, it is a good thing that there are less bad guys!”

“You didn’t even let me eat one bad guy tonight.”

“That’s because the only ‘bad guy’ we saw today was a teenager trying to sell weed who pissed his pants the moment he saw you.”

Venom continued to grumble as they made their way to their apartment. He stopped when they reached their landing though, stopped abruptly enough that Eddie froze where he stood.

“What?”

“It’s in our house.”

“What?!”

“The same weird vibe from the park. I can feel that same energy again. Coming from beyond our door.”

Eddie swallowed before he nodded, tightening his hold on his keys and slowly turning the lock.

“Venom, mask.” Eddie ordered quietly. Venom slid over him slowly but completely covered him by the time their door closed behind him.

The two of them looked around the house for the intruder, moving cautiously though the apartment trying to identify the threat. Which was why they startled so hard they almost broke the coffee table they fell on when they heard a familiar meow.

“Ow, what the hell?”

“Eddie it is here?”

“V, how is that even possible?”

“It came in through a window!”

“None of our windows are open. Also we are on the third floor!”

“It’s a cat!”

“You just said it wasn’t.”

“It’s a cat that isn’t a cat.”

Eddie growled as he stood up, Venom having retreated back into him, and made his way over to the wall to flip the light switch. There on top of his kitchen counter, laying as though on its throne was the cat from the park.

Eddie approached the cat which was watching him lazily, one eye open as it swished it’s tail gently through the air. Venom was trying to metaphorically hold him back by the back of his hoodie, but Eddie just shut him down and kept walking till he was right next to the cat. The only acknowledgement he received was the cat turning its head to look at him with both eyes.

And yeah ok, this was definitely not a normal cat. Normal cats did not have eyes that looked 100 years old. Normal cats did not look like they could see into his very soul. Normal cats definitely did not have eyes that seemed to flash a different color. Eddie shook his head to make sure he had just imagined that.

Tentatively he reached out a hand and in full view of the eyes that were tracking his every movement, he laid it on the furry back. Venom had gone oddly quiet now, and Eddie didn’t want to think about it but it almost felt like the quiet someone has in a horror movie where they are quiet because they are about to scream.

Eddie started to pet the cat gently while Venom started doing weird high pitched keening noises in head.

“V, I don’t think she is too bad.”

“We need to give it back to it’s owner!” Venom said, voice higher than Eddie had ever heard it.

“Owner?”

“Yes! Look it is wearing one of those trackers.”

“Tra- Oh.” Hidden under admittedly magnificent fur was a thin collar with a round tag. Tugging it a little forward Eddie saw the word “GOOSE” emblazoned on it. He flipped the tag but the flip side was bare.

“Well so much for that idea. Is you name Goose kitty?” The cat started to swish it’s tail a little faster at the name. “Oh yes you are Goose are you. What a good kitty. How did you get up here though?” Eddie cooed as he started to pet Goose freely. Goose started to purr when Venom lashed out, a flash of inky black tendrils the only warning Eddie had before Goose was sent flying to the opposite end of the apartment and onto a wall.

“VENOM WHAT THE HELL?”

“Eddie that thing was preparing to eat you!”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”

“I JUST SAVED YOU!”

“FROM A HOUSE CAT?”

“FROM A FLERKEN!”

“A what?”

“That thing is not a cat, it’s a Flerken.”

“What is that?”

“An alien capable of taking any form and swallowing anything it wants to.”

“...Repeat that last part?”

“There have been rumors of a Flerken that once swallowed a small universe.”

“That is impossible.”

“Like having an alien symbiote live inside you that can heal any injury you have and which extends your lifespan considerably by virtue of being a compatible host?”

“...Fuck. Fine. We have a Flerken in the house. That could swallow us if it wanted.”

“It could swallow this whole building if it wanted.”

“That could swallow this building if it wanted. That you just threw into a wall. You knew what that thing was and you threw it into a wall. What if it is dead? What if it’s not. God Venom, you’re a dumbass for doing that.”

“Is that your way of thanking me?”

“No, that’s my way of calling you a dumbass.”

“I panicked.”

Eddie swallowed before approaching the corner of the room which boasted of a new dent in the wall. That was going to be a bitch to explain to his landlord. When he crossed the sofa that had been blocking his view, the cat was sitting on its hind paws, lickling one of its front paws without a care in the world.

“Good kitty, I am so sorry for my … Venom. He didn’t mean it. You didn’t mean it right V. V? Come on out. Tell the cat we are both very sorry.”

“No way!”

“V!” Eddie bit out.

Slowly, Venom’s head emerged over Eddie’s shoulder, looking as remorseful as it could. The cat- sorry Flerken had put down it’s paw and was now watching them intently.

“I’m sorry Flerken.” Venom said, tone filled with regret. Eddie wondered if the regret was for the action or for being stuck in this situation.

The Flerken tilted its head again before standing up and making its way to them. Both human and symbiote were rooted to the spot as the alien circled their feet before standing and bracing itself against Eddie’s legs.

Exhaling calmly, Eddie bent down to pick up the cat, trying to hold it as far as it could from him. The Flerken let itself be picked up, seemingly aware of how much they were afraid of it.

Once Eddie was standing straight again, the cat - well it grinned. Eddie didn’t really know what else to call it, but it’s eyes looked almost pleased, as if it had been testing the two of them and they had passed. Whatever the reason, he almost felt like collapsing from the relief that coursed through him.

The cat then lifted a paw and gently swatted at Venom’s disembodied floating head, causing the symbiote to yell and try to back away, knocking Eddie off his feet and sending then all falling and landing in a pile on the floor.

“Owwww.” Eddie exclaimed as he sat up, rubbing a sore spot on his back where he had landed. So much for a symbiote cushion.

“Sorry Eddie.”

“Venom can you just come out. This cat is not going to hurt us.”

“Yes it will.”

“I think you’re wrong.” Eddie shifted to look at the cat on his chest that was still looking at them and not moving. “You’re not going to hurt us right?”

Well, Eddie could officially say he knew what a cat would look like with an exasperated look on its face.

“See, it’s not going to hurt us.”

Venom carefully emerged again, still hovering. The Flerken hopped off Eddie’s chest onto a distance about 5 feet from them before opening its mouth and -

“OHMYGOD WE ARE GOINGTOBE EATEN BYANALIEN CAT!” Eddie screamed as he scrambled to back away from the TENTACLES that were coming out of the Flerken’s mouth.

“No wait, Eddie. Stop.” Venom said, sounding reasonable. Which what the hell, up until this point Venom is convinced they are going to be killed by this cat and the moment when it seems like that act is going to happen, he is suddenly chill? What gives?

Without waiting for a reply, Venom masked Eddie, and leisurely put out tendrils of his own. Then the two met in the middle and did this almost weird dance thing before they came back to normal.

“What the fuck?”

“We are cool now Eddie.”

“What. The. Fuck?”

“Me and the Flerken made an agreement.”

“What?”

“You are being repetitive again.”

“Venom, I am confused. Explain.”

“The Flerken asked if it could stay with us for a while. I said ok.”

“That is not an explanation.”

“It doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that it will be staying with us a couple weeks until its friend comes back for it. And it wants us to call it Goose.”

“When did all this communication happen?”

“During our tentable handshake.”

“Tenta- you know what. I’m too tired for this. Just tell it to stay out of the bedroom. I am going to bed.

“Goodnight Goose!” Venom called back, sounding stupidly cheery.

Eddie wanted this all to be over.

---

The weeks they had with Goose were surprisingly normal, the cat stayed out of their way for the most part, just following them out when they went on patrols, and on one memorable occasion when it ate a drug dealer that had kept shooting at Venom.

Venom had been annoyed at the missed meal.

The other memorable occasion was when Anne came by and found out the cat wasn’t a cat.

She had been rightfully angry. And scared. She had forgiven them eventually though. Thank god. They would be lost without her.

---

Eddie was almost sad when they came back from the apartment at the end of three weeks of cohabiting with a Flerken to an open window and a note thanking them for taking care of Goose, signed on the bottom by a M. Rambeau and an orange cat paw print.

Eddie had to buy a large chocolate box to console Venom who had grown surprisingly attached to the Flerken he had been terrified of. Eddie hoped they got to see Goose again. He had grown fond of the cat too, damn it.

… What even was his life that he was missing an alien with the ability to swallow universeres that almost tried to eat him too.

Maybe he should go visit that therapist friend of Anne’s…

THE END

#my fanfic #@lurkerviolin #venom (2018)#captain marvel #fanfic #venom movie #eddie brock #goose the flerken #goose the cat #happy birthday chancy!#hope this makes some sense #because this fic did not go as planned

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grimmoiresque · 5 years

Text

on the magick of acorns

oofh, is this one late. ever since @aureliel asked, i have been meaning to come up with a post about the magic of acorns, what they symbolize, what they can be used for, and a small spell or charm using the beloved little tree-nuts at their very best. i’ll preface this by saying that i have gathered most of this information from third-party sources (listed at the bottom) and apologies for how tardy this is, but, without further ado, let’s talk about acorns~

what, in biological, physical science, are acorns?

i believe it is always important to know the natural, physical qualities of what you work with in witchcraft, perhaps even moreso than the metaphysical properties, because these things often influence the metaphysical qualities of the item, and they will have an instant effect on you, your environment, your body, and all other aspects of your craft whether or not you put intention towards them (for example, a crystal that melts in water or a plant that is toxic if ingested). so, what is an acorn? acorns, also known as oaknuts, are botanically a nut, “a hard, dry pod that surrounds the fruit and a single seed inside” [1]. there aren’t many recorded allergies to acorns, but just in case, you probably shouldn’t expose anyone allergic to tree nuts or oak pollen to them [1], and be aware that if consumed in excess, they can be toxic [2].

there are over 450 species of oak worldwide, and many animals consume the acorn as a source of nutrients in the fall; in fact, 25% of the diet of deers is made up of acorns [1]! humans, too, can eat unshelled acorns, and despite the possibility of allergies, it turns out that they’re really good for you. “some acorns are 18% fat, 6% protein and 68% carbohydrate, equivalent to modern corn and wheat. they are also great sources of vitamin a and c” [1]. unfortunately, oak trees produce acorns only every 2-3 years, and to keep them safe, acorns contain tannins, a chemical that makes them bitter and hard to digest if you eat them raw[1]. tannins can also give certain people headaches (this is, for example, why i can’t drink much redwine; guess there’s no acorns for me), but you can remove some of them by boiling or soaking your acorns in water until the water stops changing color [2].

in short, these guys are protective little nuggets and nutritionally-packed power houses!

what are the medicinal properties of acorns?

again, let me preface this by saying that i am not a botanist, nor do i have a degree in a biological science (only psychological) and that the information presented in this post should not be taken as medical guidance without first consulting your physician or at the very least reading the research on your own. so, besides the incredible amount of vitamins and minerals these little nuggets contain to keep the seedling oak they carry healthy, what else can acorns do?

skin care! according to staughton (2019), “the rich tannin water can be topically applied to the skin in order to soothe burns and rashes, speed up healing of cuts and wounds, and reduce inflammation or burns” [2].

improve digestion. like most nuts, acorns are rich in fiber, which, well, you know. [2]

alleviate symptoms of diabetes or prevent it. because of their fiber content and relatively complex carbohydrate makeup, acorns can also “regulate blood sugar levels in the body, thus preventing the dangerous spikes and plunges of glucose that can lead to diabetes or endanger those already suffering from it” [2].

protect heart health. “these nuts have five times more unsaturated fats as compared to saturated fats, which ideally improve your overall cholesterol balance and prevent obesity, atherosclerosis, and other dangerous conditions that threaten heart health” [2].

boost energy levels. like most densely packed seeds and nuts, acorns are meant to sustain their cargo for long periods of time, and they make great sources of long-lasting energy [2].

keep bones healthy. “these nuts have five times more unsaturated fats as compared to saturated fats, which ideally improve your overall cholesterol balance and prevent obesity, atherosclerosis, and other dangerous conditions that threaten heart health” [2].

improve metabolism. “regular consumption of acorns can help regulate a number of enzymatic processes in the body that are crucial for overall health” [2].

promote healing. the proteins that acorns carry “are very important for the creation of new tissues and cells, repair of damaged areas and rapid healing following an injury or illness” [2].

what are the metaphysical properties of acorns?

acorns are sacred to many cultures, and the celtic and druidic wiccan faith, the oak tree is seen as a symbol of samhain and a symbol of the horned god cernunnos [3]. there are legends in wicca about the horned god’s dual personas, the oak king and the holly king, and how they do battle at midsummer and midwinter [4]. because acorns fall from only very old oaks, and can lay waiting for many years before they sprout into their own saplings, they are seen as symbols of patience, perseverance, and they carry energy that “aids in maintaining longevity…and preserves the illusion of youth” [3]. “between midsummer and throughout autumn, a dried acorn worn as an amulet around the neck brings a youthful glow, good luck, and protection” [4]. security, luck, and abundance are the key energies that acorns carry, from their hard shell and the rich nutrients inside [3, 4]. they are also said to attract fae if gathered on the night of a full moon.

oak trees are associated with yule, the dagda, the wild hunt, king arthur’s round table, wrens, black, white carnelian, moonstone, fire, sun, lightning, thunder, janus, dianus, cybele, rhea, pan, cernunnos, erato, hekate, zeus, jupter, thor, and bridhid [5]. they are seen as doors to the three worlds of the shaman [5].

what is an example of acorns in magick?

the sources i’ve used here each have some sample of using acorns in magick, whether it is for youthful appearances [3,4,5], amulets to attract the fae [4,5], wards[5], or even to make coffee [2]. however, i was asked specifically about abundance and luck, and what better way to showcase that than an abundance jar! abundance jars are great gifts to make around yuletide when oaks and acorns are out enforce and the battle between the oak and holly king looms forth, and my late mentor would often make them for the couples at yule to bring abundance and fertility into the home. unfortunately, i am unable to share her original spell for their creation at this time because my digital grimoire from her lies packed away from moving. however, all magick is personal, and so long as your intent is clear, your ingredients don’t matter. to make a simple abundance jar with acorns, here is what you need:

a jar! you can use a standard small mason jar, an old candle jar that’s been cleaned out, or any one of the crafting jars from a craft store.

acorns, the star of the show. grab a good handful.

some cinnamon sticks

frankincense essential oil

pine needles, juniper, or rosemary

pennies, the older the better for their copper content

if your jar is big enough, a pinecone that will fit in the jar

green and gold ribbon

a green candle (the darker the better)

any other ingredients or items that scream “abundance” to you (i might suggest citrine or jade)

a pen

start by lighting your candle, and gathering all your ingredients. if you have a deity or believe in them, call upon their aid or the aid of one in their pantheon who is fluent with finances or known for wealth and luck; this is optional, but as with the other ingredients, it can strengthen your craft. make sure that you have a clear picture of who you wish to gift the abundance to if it is someone other than yourself (you can literally use a picture), and write their names on the jar. because i practice with runes, i also like to inscribe runes on the jar with the names, and you can add sigils if you like; make the spell yours.

now that your jar is dedicated, fill it up! add in our acorns, pennies, pine/junpier/rosemary, a pinecone if you can manage it (another long-lasting and patient seed house), and any other ingredients you choose. take your cinnamon sticks and use your pen, or an anthame if you prefer, to write the words or runes that you would like to include in this spell: abundance, prosperity, gifts, whatever it is that you want to manifest from this jar. add in the cinnamon sticks, and close your eyes. envision the light of the candle you burn, the luck of your gods, and all the feelings you wish to manifest as coiling together in a golden thread that fills the empty spaces of the jar or nests inside the acorns.

if you prefer to work magick with words, repeat the following incantation, or whatever sings loudest to your soul:

steadfast oak and copper shine abundance thrive with luck divine so i will it, so mote it be

seal up your jar, add the frankincense to the melted candle, and carefully pour the wax over the seal. using the wax to seal the jar is optional, but it does make it look pretty in the end, and it allows you to carve in more runes or sigils. when the wax has dried, tie off the jar with your ribbon, and tada! a great spell to draw long-lasting abundance and luck that makes a sweet decoration and a beautiful gift.

references

[1] buchanan, a. (30 aug. 2014). 8 things you didn't know about acorns. [blog post]. retrieved from https://labbenchtoparkbench.wordpress.com/2014/08/30/7-things-you-didnt-know-about-acorns/

[2] staughton, j. (04 jan. 2019). 8 amazing benefits of acorns. retrieved from https://www.organicfacts.net/health-benefits/seed-and-nut/acorns.html

[3] raine, a. (9 june 2014). herbs: the magickal acorn. [blog post]. retrieved from https://wytchymystique.com/2014/06/09/herbs-the-magickal-acorn/

[4] blue, l. (10 nov. 2018). acorns and magick. [blog post]. retrieved from https://aminoapps.com/c/pagans-witches/page/blog/acorns-and-magick/wj0b_va8fxu72dpzp15vxvl8vgrxpr6dnld

[5] oak. witchipedia. retrieved from http://www.witchipedia.com/herb:oak

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diariesof-kg · 5 years

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Friday the 13th.

2019 September 19.

“Be blessed they said, as you have made it to another day.”

It’s been awhile since I have blogged. I have over 50 blogs about my ex still in draft waiting to be seen by prying eyes. It’s been over three years and the healing is still current. I wrote them to track each day about what occurred secretly behind the closed doors. She was mad and attempted to make me feel guilty for “exposing” the hidden truth, the hidden truth behind the tears of my pain. My question I pose to her. Why be mad at the truth? Did you not do all those things. I even provided evidence of screenshots to support my thoughts. The only person she should be upset with is herself. And anyone who acts recklessly and becomes upset for me blogging. I DO NOT care. I don’t care as much as she didn’t care when the verbal and mental abuse was going on for years.

They say the truth sets you free. It begins the healing process of all things within. This entry will be short, as in the next few weeks while I am almost bedridden, I will begin to tell another experience that occurred just last year. My question I pose to this person is, “Why act an ass?, Why be disrespectful to someone who gave you everything?,” Humans are the most dysfunctional mammals on this planet. They lack consciousness. They lack human emotion and from a philosophers view can never fully enjoy the human experience. It doesn’t excuse the behavior at all, nor does it allow alternative explanations. Karmic energy is real. Most don’t fear it enough, although majority of the humans have yet to conquer “fear.” These subjects will be integrated as I explain what the last year has been like.

I have obtained a lawyer and I am going to process the claim Monday morning. Everything I do is in retrospect to the term “principle.” Everything I do is from the kindness of my heart. I believe in blessings and have been able to extend my blessings to those who my hearts desires. Here is a snippet of what occurred last year; further entries will contain full details and my thoughts on it. Its the full truth and nothing but the truth with my right hand up as they do in the courts. I wonder what your parents will say once they find out that at the age of twenty four, you out here playing with grown women and using them.

Snippet This was all prompted from a person who decided to act an ass when I asked a question. Furthermore, I have not spoken to this person in over a month. Last we spoke I let them know I’m no longer tolerating it. Next day they apologized, so I am confused why they have such a nasty attitude when ALL of this is their fault? That’s why I never accepted the apology, it was too quick and not thoroughly thought out. I started dating this person March of 2018 till February 2019. The whole entire time I couldn’t understand why plans were always cancelled and why I had to always drive to Riverside, which is two hours from me, in a car that was on its last lifeline. I understood the whole “busy” schedule, but are we not all busy being adults. I asked them to be my girlfriend and they declined, later it was stated it was too early, but it wasn’t too early for me doing sexual acts on them. Months go by, I patiently waited for the “make an official” to come up but it never did. Silly of me. As time goes on, I started to draw back, especially after New Years. I realized along with visually seeing it through the universe and knowing my intuition, that it wasn’t going to work. Waiting for someone to finish schooling is one thing, but me doing the most to try to make it work, is another. I ended it after Valentine’s Day, and they started being really disrespectful and basically I called it bullying. Although I mentioned and I have evidence to support it, that I would still be in their life, just not going to be doing the most. In relations I was told, “if you knew this was going to happen why stay?” My rebuttal is you should of been honest and I would have NEVER shared my life with you, period. Don’t victim shame!

I rode with them till the last flake occurred. People will take advantage of you as long as you let them. I guess it made them upset, because I am falling back due to their lack in partnership. The interesting thing is, they knew the reasoning to why I had to step away but proceeded to play the victim. It doesn’t make sense. The fact that I paid for every time we ate out. Or putting gas in my truck to come see them. Or sending you flowers and buying them things. Even giving them things I wanted and ordered for myself, because I THOUGHT they’d be an appreciative person. Energy vampires. Users come to mind quickly. I got used. At the end, the truth is we were just f-ck buddies or friends with benefits, except they were reaping all the benefits out of me. Lying is one hell of a drug. No one wants the cure of honesty. Could have been honest, and said you didn’t want a relationship and allowed me to have a CHOICE on whether I wanted to date you. I had others that honestly would have created a relationship with me, but I wanted you based on what I was told which was lies. “Very mature for my age.” The worse lie of them all. At the end of all this they decided to be a complete ass. Now everyone will know the truth. They can sit right next to my abusive ex, because the two of them could conquer the world.

Never bitter or upset or doing things out of spite. I am a human with emotions. But I am a writer at heart. Eventually I will sell this story either to BET, Netflix to producer a movie. It’s important that we share hidden stories within the LGBTQ community that we all can relate to.

#LGBT relationship #lgbtq #relationship problems #relationships #lesbian love #diaries #diariesofkg #narcissism #narcissist #gaslighting #manipulation #california

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blackmysticinfinite · 5 years

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(first off: happy new year!) secondly: do you think i should still call myself a christian witch if i hate going to church and can't connect to the bible? i love God so much, but i just don't feel a connection with Them...

Hello!~ A blessed New Year to you as well

For as long as I can remember, it has been hammered into me that “Christianity is not about feeling! It’s about believing even when you don’t feel anything!” Which--okay, sure, that might be part of the whole faith thing. BUT--humans seem to naturally desire connection, some sort of relationship, some sort of meaning. And if something just isn’t doing it for us, usually we move on.

That being said, what to do when the feelings aren’t there? Even, or especially, when we wish they were? I can’t tell you what to do, but hopefully these thoughts might be helpful! (I’m a bit of a rambler, so this post will be kind of long.)

1. Sometimes, you end up taking a beak from church. For about 4 years, I couldn’t go to church. Panic attacks, sensory overload, feeling unsafe--all of these contributed to me having to take a break from church. Not to mention the resentment and anger I felt the moment I walked in the door. I still loved God, still desired a spiritual community, but I felt like I needed to take a personal time out.

2. Ask God to help you feel more connected with Them! I figured that my Sundays were better spent asking God to show/ help me how to deal with all of that bitterness instead of sitting in a pew, hating my neighbor and lashing out at God. I sincerely doubted if that anger would ever leave me. I often wondered if I could still call myself a Christian--something that I am still figuring out. If I felt no real draw toward going to church or reading my Bible, if K-LOVE or other Christian radio stations made me want to vomit--could I still call myself one?

3. You’re probably going to have to wait. If you wonder if God hears you, if you’re not sure if your prayers are working, if you don’t feel anything different--either right away or even after you’ve been praying for a long time--God might be working behind the scenes for a surprise you’ll discover later on. 2014 was about the time that I wanted nothing to do with church stuff or Christian stuff. I didn’t read my Bible. And I honestly feared for my soul. I remembered what it was like to feel close to God--and that didn’t mean sunshine all the time. I remembered wrestling with some of the worst things I’ve been through, but knowing God was there. And then it just felt like silence, like distance, no matter how much I prayed for God to make me “more Christian” again.

4. Consider new ways to connect with God. Around 2015 or so, I started to explore “high church”, formal liturgies, and more concrete forms of worship. This was the beginning of my intentional foray into the realm of craft and practice (witchcraft, magic, etc. for lack of a better term). To be honest, I still felt over my head with these and it just wasn’t working for me. But at the same time, I started to embrace parts of myself that I had never known I could love and celebrate before. I explored my gender identity, my sexuality, my romantic interests. I put a lot of thought in the type of person I wanted to be, in the types of relationships I wanted to have. Honesty, openness, forgiveness--these were things I wanted to extend toward others, and which I was learning to allow for myself as well.

Throughout the years, I have learned that my feeling close to God isn’t so much measured on how often I go to church or read my Bible. For me, I am better able to measure it by asking myself, How do I think of others who are similar or different from me? How do I react when I come across information that points to my being wrong, in thought or action? How easily can I be gracious toward myself, or am I intent on punishing and hating the person God made me to be? I feel closest to God when I am able to love myself and love others. Not by how much scripture I have memorized, not by how much theology I know, not by having perfect attendance every time the church doors are open.

5. Did I mention you would have to wait? Or that the answers might not make sense? In December of 2017, I felt a strong push from the Spirit. Take your spiritual life seriously. That voice was unmistakable. But what would that look like? I didn’t go to church, didn’t do daily devotions. My understanding of myself and my identities was fairly stable. I knew who I was and what I was about. But I still didn’t feel like I had a way to really express my faith. And hadn’t I been asking God for years to help me with this, anyway?

I went into 2018 hoping to be more intentional about my prayer life, about my attitude toward others. I still didn’t feel very close to God. I was overwhelmed by job searching, graduating, moving--and feeling close to God would have been nice. The church I had been away from for several years--since mid 2014, actually--did a summer series on “Bring Your Own Bible.” The goal was simple: to give people a way and a reason to open their Bibles just a bit more often. I attended that series fairly regularly.

Although I read my Bible a little more, I eventually stopped. I didn’t feel like I could really grasp anything from those words on the page. Add to that a growing despair over financial obligations and gallons of discouragement after being turned down for so many jobs, I felt like I had let God down.

6. The answer is always both/and. This is something I tell myself, something I have come to recognize when reflecting back on my own journey. Whether that’s my faith, my mental health, my physical health, or how my day went--it’s good and bad, all the time. What I mean is that there will be times when you don’t feel anything, and that’s okay. There will be moments when you are full of emotion, and that’s okay.

On this third day of 2019, God has shown me enough for me to keep moving forward on my path. God has taught me to see Them in ways, times, and places I had never imagined. I feel close to God when I see certain shades of green, when I drive through the city at night with my windows down and radio up, when I eat a really great meal, when I laugh with my family or friends, when I wash dishes and cook and do laundry, when I read a great book or binge a show on Netflix or watch my favorite movie for the thousand and millionth time.

One of my spiritual goals for this year is to cultivate a habit of morning and evening prayer. I didn’t feel like praying this morning. When I prayed last night, I mostly felt like I was fumbling around in the dark. Sometimes I avoid talking about my path and what I believe because I feel like I’m lying. I feel like I don’t make sense, and like I don’t have any evidence to prove that I am what I say. But God has nudged me, time and time again. God tells me to look over my shoulder, to examine my journey, and will highlight all the ways that the connection has been there.

So, let me ask you--What helps you feel connected to God? Are you open to exploring new ways of experiencing God? Church attendance and Bible reading are only two measures--and not very great ones, in my opinion--of how “Christian” you are. God reveals Their beauty and might and majesty in so many glorious ways. I would encourage you to search and explore, to challenge yourself “How can I see God today? Where can I find God?” My journey of faith often feels like a hide-and-seek adventure with the Divine. But I am found in God every time, and God shows Themselves in more ways than I can keep track of.

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alxspeaks · 6 years

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As some of you may have noticed, I have been pretty quiet on social media recently. In fact, I went roughly 2 months without as much as opening up a social media app. In total, it was 3 months until I officially made a post from any of my social media accounts. Now this may not seem like such a big deal, but like most of the world’s population I was addicted to social media.

In 2019, it is estimated that there will be around 2.77 billion social media users around the globe and that figure continues to increase (The Statistics Portal).Social media is everything right now: people turn to Twitter before they turn on the news, every business has a social media platform, and it is now the easiest way to contact anyone from your Mom to Cardi B. Everyone is involved in some aspect of social media and it is so easy to get caught up without even realising it. I would often find myself constantly hopping between Facebook, Instagram ,Snapchat and Twitter, scrolling, uploading and posting. It was the first thing I did when I woke up and the last thing before I went to bed. I would stay up late with nothing but the glare from my phone screen glowing on my face as I would constantly follow updates and news feeds. It had gotten to the point where I began to feel uncomfortable without my phone in my hand and whenever I felt a bit socially awkward it was the first thing I would look for. I began to depend on it and this twisted relationship started to trigger a lot of problems for me.

It all began in March 2018 just after my 24th birthday when I started to really notice a big change in my overall mood: 50% of the time I was unhappy and the other 50% I spent worrying and feeling anxious. Throughout my time at University I had been noticing increased anxiety and changes in my mood but after graduation it just seemed to be getting progressively worse. It came to a point where my overall outlook on life was consistently negative and I was miserable, unable to eat, sleep or think clearly. I had this feeling that I was just a total failure at everything and I was finding it extremely difficult to cope with life. I was really scared of the thoughts going through my head and I felt as though I had no control over my emotions. Although I had felt overwhelmed and stressed before, I knew that this was different but I had no idea what was happening to me. I sought advice from a friend who I knew was open about her mental health journey and after speaking to her I took a huge leap and decided to refer myself to my local mental health team.

This was just the worst thing for me as I hate drawing any attention to myself, yet, here I was, preparing to talk to total strangers about my life. I started doing my own research into the way that I was feeling and I began to discover that I had symptoms similar to that of Anxiety.These were symptoms that I had been suffering with with for over 5 years and I had just put it down to stress or to me simply overreacting and being silly. I was later diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) Social Phobia and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. MAD! One day i’m just me trying to live my best life, and the next I suddenly have three Anxiety Disorders that I now have to manage and understand. The change was huge and I felt as though I had to learn who I was all over again as all of this time I had been living with a mental health condition that I knew nothing about. It’s crazy to think that if I hadn't taken my health into my own hands I would have never had any answers for the way that I had been feeling all of these years.

There were various different factors that had led up to this point in my life, University being the main one as that was when I had my first signs of anxiety: my self-confidence had really plummeted and I found myself feeling completely lost. After graduation, everything just seemed to be going wrong like my entire future was slipping away from me and I was helpless to stop it (Post-Graduate Depression see article links below). I was under way too much pressure from myself, my family (being the sole carer for two parents with long term illnesses), and from life in general with no help and no one who could truly understand. I was really unsettled and didn’t have anywhere to truly call my home. Job rejections had just become so commonplace that I didn’t even realise how much it was affecting my self confidence. Family and friends that I thought I could count on had all left and in the space of about 3 weeks my friendship circle had more than halved, at a time when I needed the most support I felt truly alone. During this time, I was still active on social media scrolling away, but the more I scrolled the worse it made me feel about my own life and each time I put down my phone after being on social media I felt upset. At times, I was even drawn to tears. Not only was it lowering my self-esteem and fueling the ideas in my head that ‘I am a failure’, it was also a huge trigger for my Anxiety. Once I realised this, I knew I had to take action, but I honestly didn’t know how. Then, one day, I went to spend some time with one of my closest friends and she said four life changing words to me. ‘You have a choice’. As obvious as this may seem I had genuinely forgotten that I actually have the option to choose whether or not to participate in social media. She explained that she had been through a similar experience and that she had to set herself some very strict rules. One of them was that she only logged in when she was making a social media post and logged out straight after; she never scrolled! That was all the advice I needed and I immediately logged out of all my social media accounts and guess what? The world didn’t end and I finally felt as though I had control over one aspect of my life. I now controlled social media; it did not control me. The moment I logged out, I didn’t feel the urge to log back in for months. However, I still found myself reaching for my phone out of habit. So, to shift my focus, I downloaded apps that are constructive uses of my time such as wordscapes, Duolingo (started learning new languages) and Headspace (mindfulness meditation).

Throughout all of this I was still struggling whilst awaiting my first counselling appointment on a 3 month waiting list, but I put on a brave face, carrying on with business as usual. Then, one day, I snapped. I had a huge panic attack and during this whole episode I accidently smashed my phone. I had completely given up on life and I felt as though no one understood what I was going through.

So, there I was, completely broken and no phone, no contacts, no apps, nothing! Ordinarily I would have been even more of a mess after breaking my phone, but I later found that this gave me the push I needed to understand that I don’t need to be contacting people all the time and people don’t always need to be updated on my every move. In fact, it’s when I am most quiet on social media that I am working my hardest, and at this particular time it was vital that I put all of my efforts into working on me and my well being.

In addition to this, (I have a confession to make, here it goes…) I haven't picked up a pencil in over a year! Unfortunately I have not been able to design as much as a vest since last year summer. When my mental health deteriorated, so did my creative flow. However, I did not see it at the time so I just put more pressure on myself to create a new collection until it made me sick and my body started to shut down. I went without sleep, food, water, social life, pretty much everything a human needs to function. I was forcing myself to produce work in ridiculous time frames, frantically trying to prove to myself and the world that I am good enough. The fact that I couldn’t think clearly just caused me more frustration but mostly I didn't want to let everyone down: all of you who believe in me and my creative talent. I already felt like a failure in my own eyes and I didn’t want anyone else to think the same. My desire was to be constantly seen on social media doing amazing things in fashion but that just wasn’t my reality.

The truth is, I had built up so much pressure around myself and my fashion career that it became a huge anxiety trigger for me. As a result, I haven't been able to return to my beautiful design studio in nearly a year. Me, Alex, who lives and breathes fashion. I wrestled with the idea for a long time but I was forced to take an extended break from fashion design and my other projects until I saw some improvement in my mental health. I once said that if I was to suddenly die I wouldn’t be upset because I was no longer alive, I would be upset because I didn’t get the chance to live a life that I enjoyed living. I had to take a break and readjust my whole life, it was seriously a matter of life and death; I had to put my fashion career on hold.

I’ve heard of so many artists, musicians and writers taking creative breaks and now I completely understand why. My creativity is such a huge part of me but it only works when i’m in good health. Anything that I create outside of that is just not a clear representation of me as an artist. I was so focused on trying to live my best life through the eyes of others that I forgot to look after myself. Right now, living my best life currently looks like attending my therapy sessions, remembering to breathe, drinking plenty of water and practicing mindfulness. I plan to take as much time as I need to focus on me and my health so that I can come back stronger and produce something that’s true to who I am as a designer when I am at my best. So next time you see me, don’t ask how my collection is going, ask me how I am doing!

We often look at people who do great things and admire them from afar. In our eyes they might seem like the best and the brightest and it’s easy to assume that all is well with them. But, my experience has shown me that this is one of the most dangerous assumptions a person could make. I was still going through all of this trauma when I was raising the money for my collection, when my shirt design was sold in Hawes and Curtis and when I became one of Birmingham’s 30under30 finalists. I realised that I had been wearing a happy mask and suffering in silence for years until it eventually fell down and I was left to deal with everything that I have been hiding from. It came to the point where I was just waiting for someone, anyone, to ask me if I was ok. Then, finally, I took my health into my own hands and bravely asked for help.

I am currently undergoing therapy sessions with the best therapist ever and we are working through small steps to help me get better. I finally have somewhere safe that I can call my home and i’ve started spending more time doing things that I enjoy like being outdoors and writing poetry. I also started doing yoga and practicing mindfulness meditation so I can learn how to switch off when my head is just doing the most (the Headspace app has literally saved my life, check it out). My relationship with social media is now so much better and I have set rules for myself #noscrolling and I logout after every session. I have seen huge improvements in my mental health, self-esteem and body confidence since doing this and I just feel generally more positive about life. I still have a very long way to go and I am nowhere near better yet but each day I learn something new and I make progress.

I logged out of social media and it was one the best decisions I have ever made for myself. On my 24th birthday I told myself that this was going to be the year of me and so far it has been. Although it has been my most difficult year to date I have been forced to focus on me and put my health first because, at the end of the day, that is what is most important.

For more information about Anxiety Disorders and mental health advice check out these links below.

For Useful Contacts

https://birminghammind.org/contact-page/emergency-contacts/

For Information

YouTube- The 5 Major Anxiety Disorders

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzaNQAh3NiY&t=7s

Mind

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/anxiety-disorders/#.W6GCdy2ZNsM

Beyond Blue

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety

Post-Graduate Depression

https://metro.co.uk/2017/07/17/why-is-no-one-talking-about-post-graduate-depression-6760769/

https://www.topuniversities.com/blog/we-need-talk-about-post-graduation-depression

References

The Statistics Portal https://www.statista.com/statistics/278414/number-of-worldwide-social-network-users/

#mental health #mental disorder #positive mental attitude #black mental health #blackwomanmagic #health #lifestyle #wellbeing #motivation #inspiration

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shirlleycoyle · 4 years

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How a Petition to Shut Down Pornhub Got Two Million Signatures

Laila Mickelwait's timing was perfect. It was, in some ways, inevitable that her “TraffickingHub” campaign to shut down Pornhub would go viral when it launched in February.

Right after the Superbowl, an event that's been incorrectly called the biggest human trafficking day of the year for almost a decade—the Washington Examiner published Mickelwait's op-ed titled “Time to shut Pornhub down.” In that piece, she used recent incidents of exploitative content on one of the most popular porn platforms on the internet to argue that Pornhub should be shut down entirely. She highlighted videos that led to the arrest of a rapist after he uploaded child porn of his victim to the site, as well as the Girls Do Porn lawsuit.

Mickelwait told me that readers of that op-ed asked her to start a petition. Now, it has nearly two million signatures in support of shuttering Pornhub. In March, dozens of protestors, some from anti-porn and anti-sex work groups, gathered outside of Mindgeek's Montreal headquarters, in support of TraffickingHub. Mindgeek is the parent company of Pornhub, as well as several other porn sites, including RedTube and YouPorn.

“Pornhub, the world's largest and most popular porn site, has been repeatedly caught enabling, hosting, and profiting from videos of child rape, sex trafficking, and other forms of non-consensual content exploiting women and minors,” the TraffickingHub petition states. “We're calling for Pornhub to be shut down and its executives held accountable for these crimes.”

Motherboard's own reporting on the Girls Do Porn lawsuit has shown how tube sites like Pornhub are used by abusers to dox and harass women and post nonconsensual porn. Our reporting has shown that Pornhub’s held partnerships with companies like Girls Do Porn, which systematically pressured, harassed, and threatened women into doing porn have legitimized them, and that Pornhub's failure to enforce its own policies means it can host illegal content like upskirt videos. There are many legitimate reasons for revenge porn victims and adult content owners to be critical of Pornhub, some of which TraffickingHub points out.

But what people who sign the TraffickingHub petition might not understand is that the campaign, while focused on Pornhub, comes from the world of anti sex trafficking activism—and specifically, from a large Christian organization, Exodus Cry, which opposes decriminalizing or legalizing sex work and wants to abolish porn altogether. On its website, Exodus Cry claims to be “committed to abolishing sex trafficking and breaking the cycle of commercial sexual exploitation while assisting and empowering its victims.”

The people speaking out against TraffickingHub, many of them sex workers and abuse survivors themselves, say its parent organization has a history of homophobia and bigotry, and are peddling a victim narrative to “save” sex workers while harming them with pushes for legislation that doesn't work.

Religiously affiliated anti-trafficking organizations aren't just Bible thumpers. The legislation they've advocated for has done tangible harm to sex workers, on top of upholding stigmas against sex work as work, painting everyone in the sex trade as victims in need of saving from their circumstances.

Exodus Cry's website states that it uses funding to change laws that will “end the sex industry,” and “works with governments and legislators… to implement legislation that creates criminal culpability for sex buyers, pimps, and traffickers, and brings freedom and support to victims.”

As TraffickingHub gained popularity in recent months, years of criticism of Exodus Cry has resurfaced. Some of that criticism stems from a “chapter leader application” form that once appeared on the Exodus Cry website.

The application involved taking a “purity covenant,” agreeing to a detailed, Biblical statement of faith, and answering questions like “Do you believe heterosexual sex outside of marriage is sinful? Yes/No, if No please explain,” and “Are you currently struggling with pornography?; Have you struggled with pornography in the past?; Are you or have you struggled with homosexual thoughts, feelings or behaviors?”

University of Liverpool criminologist Gemma Ahearne, who found and wrote about the application in June 2019, said that at the time it was accessible on the Exodus Cry website and visible through a Wayback Machine archive. The application is no longer available on the Exodus Cry website, and the Internet Archive told Motherboard the entire Exodus Cry domain was excluded from the Wayback Machine as of June 1, 2019, following a response to a request from a rights holder to have it removed from archival view.

On August 19, I emailed Mickelwait to ask about the origins of the chapter application. On August 20, she responded with what she said was “an official statement from Exodus Cry on the libelous accusations.”

The statement, which was published on the Exodus Cry website the same day, said that “Exodus Cry is an organization that since its inception has never advocated, campaigned, or focused on any other issue besides sex trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation. Sexual exploitation is the singular focus of Exodus Cry, and any suggestion that Exodus Cry has campaigned against any other issue is categorically false.”

The statement also includes a quote from Exodus Cry founder Benjamin Nolot in response to a 2013 tweet in which he said “I oppose homosexual marriage on the premise that it is an unspeakable offense to God and His design for marriage between a man and a woman.”

A 2013 tweet from Benjamin Nolot. Screenshot via Open Democracy

“Like much of our nation, a decade ago when the issue was being widely debated, I expressed in a single personal tweet that I thought government had a role to play in defining marriage,” Nolot said in that statement. “Even former president Obama held similar views in the past. Today, like many, my views have evolved and I believe every individual should make that decision for themselves without government being involved in such a personal choice. I advocate for the right of all people to be free from all forms of oppression and that without question includes the LGBTQ+ community.”

Mickelwait and the statement also said that Exodus Cry does not even have chapters, something she's brought up previously on Twitter when confronted with the application screenshots.

“There is only one Exodus Cry. Exodus Cry does not have chapters,” the statement says. “Therefore a 'chapter application' has no relevance to our organization’s work. This claim intentionally misrepresents our organization.”

Exodus Cry may not have chapters now, but it did at one point. A 2009 annual report by Exodus Cry touted the organization had “26 chapters in five different nations (including the United States).” a 2010 annual report mentions a “local Exodus Cry chapter” in Norfolk, Virginia.

I sent Mickelwait these reports, and asked again whether the chapter application, which included the “purity covenant” and the questions about gay marriage ever appeared on the Exodus Cry site.

She sent me another statement, attributed to Nolot: “We have investigated the 'chapters' application and determined that 12 years ago when EC was formed a volunteer borrowed a document that had been used by another ministry as a model for EC and there were sections related to chapters that inadvertently remained in the documents as a relic. As explained, EC does not have chapters, and has not had chapters for over a decade, therefore the application has no relevance to our work. Exodus Cry is in the process of removing those legacy materials now that they have been brought to our attention”

The chapter application is no longer available on the Exodus Cry website, nor does the site seem explicitly religious at first glance. There's a page that notes the organization's original connection to prayer, quotes the Bible, and says that "we have seen the Lord’s mighty hand of deliverance in response to prayer," but otherwise Exodus Cry and TraffickingHub both have slick websites featuring animated explainer videos and photographs of excited and diverse young people.

The organization's own tax filings show it seems to be slowly distancing itself from religious affiliation. In 2015, it stated its purpose as being "built on a foundation of prayer and is committed to abolishing sex slavery through Christ centered prevention, intervention, and holistic restoration of trafficking victims.” In 2017, it dropped the “Christ” part, and by 2018, it made no mention of prayer or religion whatsoever, instead stating its purpose as an “international non-profit organization committed to abolishing sex trafficking and the commercial sex industry while assisting and empowering its victims.”

In 2018, Open Democracy wrote about Liberated: The New Sexual Revolution a documentary directed by Nolot which has been on Netflix since 2017. The film documented spring break in Florida and critiqued “hookup culture,” but didn't disclose the religiously-affiliated background of its production—drawing criticism from women's rights groups for hiding these affiliations.

Primarily by interviewing drunk college students on the beach, the documentary builds the case that sexualization in media and pop culture is to blame for objectification of women's bodies and toxic masculinity. Like the current debate around “WAP” that upset several Republican politicians and conservative pundits, it questions whether women can take full, unashamed and public ownership of their sexuality without harming themselves, and whether that is something people really want or are just told that they want by popular culture. It identifies and highlights issues many people, even those who don't think of themselves as religious or anti-sex, can agree are problems—such as the pressure some young women feel to cater to a male gaze, rape culture, and risky or dangerous sexual encounters in college—without ever making its religious affiliations explicit. Someone can easily browse Netflix, watch Liberated, and largely agree with its message without knowing anything about the people who made it.

TraffickingHub similarly gained support on social media from people who didn't understand what they were signing up for.

Mika Lavallee is not a sex worker or an activist, but when she saw the TraffickingHub petition on Twitter, she signed it immediately.

“I signed the petition for the purpose of allyship. For victims and survivors of sex trafficking,” she said. “The TraffickingHub video really did a good job at villainizing Pornhub, and at a perfect time when many petitions for all sorts of injustices were being shared on all social media platforms. Without doing my research, I signed the petition thinking I was doing a good thing that would make positive change and help victims.”

Ginger Banks, Gwen Adora, and Maya Morena are just three of the many sex workers who have been speaking out against TraffickingHub, posting Instagram, Twitter and TikTok videos about Exodus Cry's conservative roots for months.

“It's such a fucking publicity game, especially with like, 'Oh my god, but it was named 'stop sex trafficking' and you're against it? That means you're for sex trafficking,’” Banks told me.

Banks recently started her own petition, demanding that Pornhub and its sister sites YouPorn and Redtube change their video uploading and verification processes so that content couldn't go up without the owner's consent. As of writing, that petition has over 8,000 signatures.

Adora hosted an Instagram Live about the TraffickingHub campaign in July. “The entire mission of TraffickingHub is not what myself, other sex workers and survivors believe to be effective for their end goal—shutting down a porn site isn't going to stop the abuse that happens in person and online,” Adora told me.

Lavallee saw one of Banks' videos on the topic, and regretted putting her name on the petition without digging deeper. “I truly felt uncomfortable that I had signed that petition,” she said. “I am pro everything they’re against!”

Change.org petitions were flying around the internet around the time Lavallee signed TraffickingHub this spring. Many of them were demanding justice for Black people murdered or harmed by law enforcement. But people across all industries started demanding more for themselves: a newly-invigorated labor movement broke out across the U.S., and this included within the adult industry. TraffickingHub's use of “abolitionist” language has a long history within trafficking awareness groups. The term abolition appropriates 18th and 19th century movements to abolish slavery, and Exodus Cry invokes the legacy of William Wilberforce, a deeply religious 18th century abolitionist against the British slave trade.

Abolition has gained a renewed mainstream popularity during the Black Lives Matter movement, as people call to abolish the police. But in the context of sex work, workers reject the phrase. “Not only do sex workers not see our work as akin to slavery but using this term minimizes and trivializes the experiences of those who have (and do) endure slavery,” according to the Global Network of Sex Work Projects.

TraffickingHub's arrival tapped into something sex workers have been talking about for some time, but has only recently reached mainstream conversations.

“Criticisms of various companies and MindGeek are fairly common in the sex work community,” Morena told me. “Campaigns like this often find something real they can use to push an agenda. For many people, the TraffickingHub campaign is the first time they've ever heard of MindGeek, or tech conglomerates in general that make a business model largely from stolen porn.”

TraffickingHub's website notes that it is “powered by” Exodus Cry. Mickelwait said that she initiated and directs the TraffickingHub campaign, which is supported by Exodus Cry financially, with human resources, technical support, and legal support.

“There are 300 organizations and almost two million people from 192 countries who are part of this effort who agree that no one should be raped and trafficked for profit on the world’s largest and most popular porn site,” Mickelwait told me. “The Traffickinghub campaign is a non-partisan, non-religious effort that consists of a diverse group of individual advocates who share this common goal.”

Exodus Cry and some of the groups supporting TraffickingHub are against all forms of commercial sex work, and are working toward legislation sex workers say will harm them. Eighty-two organizations are listed on the TraffickingHub website as supporting the cause. Almost half of these explicitly support an “end demand” model of sex work (they use the term “prostitution” instead of sex work), also known as the Nordic model, which criminalizes sex buyers and which sex worker advocacy groups say only exposes them to more risk because sex work doesn’t go away, it simply becomes less visible and thus more dangerous.

A few examples: The Coalition Against Women in Trafficking believes decriminalizing sex work would be “a gift to pimps, traffickers and the sex industry.” The UK-based Centre to End All Sexual Exploitation is anti-pornography and against all sex work, and lists several claims about the adult industry on its site, including that “it’s impossible to know for sure whether production was consensual,” which is false. Dublin-based NGO Ruhama states “prostitution has negatively impacted on women’s liberty, bodily autonomy and physical and mental wellbeing.” Space International calls for the Nordic Model. Defend Dignity, one of the groups present at the Mindgeek headquarters protest, states that “prostitution is a form of sexual exploitation, oppression, and violence especially against women and children and seriously undermines their dignity and value” and "prostitution is detrimental to a healthy society.”

So many of these organizations claim to be fighting for exploited women by pushing a model of partial decriminalization—in “ending demand” and the Nordic model—while ignoring the people they're trying to “rescue,” who say that they don't want full legalization or to end demand but rather, full decriminalization of the sex trade. They often set up the argument as legalization versus criminalization, with their own solution in the middle, even though sex workers as well as human rights groups including Amnesty International say that only full decriminalization will make their work safer.

On Exodus Cry's website, the organization claims that “time, testing, and research have demonstrated unequivocally that policies focused on eliminating demand are extremely effective in eliminating sex trafficking,” citing a 2012 paper on legalizing sex work. But this isn't what that paper claims.

“The likely negative consequences of legalized prostitution on a country’s inflows of human trafficking might be seen to support those who argue in favor of banning prostitution, thereby reducing the flows of trafficking,” the paper's authors concluded. “However, such a line of argumentation overlooks potential benefits that the legalization of prostitution might have on those employed in the industry. Working conditions could be substantially improved for prostitutes–at least those legally employed–if prostitution is legalized.”

“Research and the testimonies of survivors have demonstrated that full decriminalization and legalization legitimizes and increases trafficking as well as the violence and exploitation of vulnerable sex workers and we don’t support legislation that would expose the most vulnerable to increased harm and exploitation,” Nolot said when I told him sex workers say the “end demand” model would harm them.

“Partial decriminalization is the only solution that will both protect those who sell or are sold for sex, while holding those who exploit them accountable for their actions,” Nolot added. He cited as research, a paper written by anti-porn and anti-sex work activist Melissa Farley, and SPACE International executive director Rachel Moran, both outspoken advocates for the Nordic model.

One of the biggest organizations supporting TraffickingHub is the National Center on Sexual Exploitation, which lobbies to abolish pornography, wants to pass the EARN-IT bill which a myriad of internet freedom advocates say will be devastating to rights online, and applauded the passage of the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act (FOSTA), which has done material harm to sex workers and made exploitation worse. On August 4, the White House press secretary cited NCOSE's unfounded statement that TikTok enables human trafficking as proof that EARN-IT should pass. Ron DeHaas, chairman of the board for NCOSE, says porn is a tool of Satan.

TraffickingHub argues that Pornhub removed 118 instances of child sexual abuse material in the last three years—a statistic Pornhub doesn't deny. But sex workers who speak out against shutting down Pornhub point out is the culpability of most social networks for abusive content, including revenge or child porn. In 2019, Facebook said it removed 11.6 million pieces of content related to child nudity and child sexual exploitation in just three months. Twitter says it took action to remove more than 30,000 unique accounts reported for child sexual abuse between January and June 2019.

“Being against the organization or their goals becomes ‘you're against these survivors personally”

In response to the TraffickingHub petition, the UK-based child sexual abuse nonprofit Internet Watch Foundation has said that platforms like Twitter and Facebook “pose more of an issue of child sexual abuse material than Pornhub does.”

“But, of course, no one will petition for those social media sites to be taken down—because people are more concerned about porn and sex work than anything else,” Adora said.

“Pornhub has a steadfast commitment to eradicating any and all illegal content, including non-consensual and under-age material, and actively works to employ state of the art, comprehensive measures to protect its platform from such content. Any suggestion otherwise is categorically and factually inaccurate,” a Pornhub spokesperson told Motherboard. “Regarding the group [Exodus Cry] behind the campaign and petition, their history of hateful rhetoric toward women and the LGBTQ community, as well as toward those who don't abide by their vision of purity, is extremely disturbing.”

In a response to Pornhub's previous public statements against Exodus Cry and TraffickingHub's allegations, TraffickingHub published a “Statement of Inclusion,” which says “we do not discriminate based on sex, race, class, political views, religious or non-religious views, or sexual orientations.” The response then quotes support from several sex-worker exclusionary radical feminist and anti-sex work organizations, including abolitionist organization Prostitution Research & Education that denies sex work is real work, and prominent anti-porn scholar Gail Dines.

Politicians, lobbyists, and fundraising organizations use human trafficking as a lever to pull on whatever pet project they want, because trafficking—especially child and sex trafficking—is a conversation-ender. No one, not even people who oppose more funding for trafficking prevention or criticize groups like Exodus Cry, would support sex trafficking or say it needs to be allowed to go on unchecked. But campaigns like TraffickingHub set up a false dichotomy: Either you're for shutting down Pornhub, or you're against stopping saving children from the horrors of sex trafficking.

“Being against the organization or their goals becomes ‘you're against these survivors personally,’” sex worker Maya Morena said. “People sign on largely because of the emotional appeal, they're less likely to look into the orgs, or the possible consequences of pushing for a quick carceral solution. People forget that they're supporting organizations and actual political policies.”

We've seen it happen most recently with the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act, FOSTA. After Donald Trump signed the bill into law, Exodus Cry wrote on its Facebook page: “FOSTA/SESTA has already made a significant impact on the ecosystem of sex trafficking… This could be considered the most significant macroeconomic event ever, related to commercial sexual exploitation.” In a way, that's correct. After FOSTA, it became harder than ever for sex workers to vet clients, as sites cracked down on sexual speech in order to avoid breaking the law and incurring fines.

The legislation wasn't even effective at stopping human trafficking. “Not only is the law arguably creating negative side effects for speech online and creating danger for sex workers, it is not even achieving its legal objective,” law associate Emily Born wrote in her study of post-FOSTA impacts for the New York Law Review in 2019.

The way anti-trafficking organizations portray sex workers as needing rescue is apparent throughout their missions. For example, Exodus Cry's “In Her Shoes” campaign tells stories of women who were so moved by abolitionists' messages of salvation from brothels or sex work that they handed over their stiletto heels, as a “symbol of slavery, fastened about the ankles of sexually exploited women.” When Helen Taylor, Exodus Cry's Director of Outreach and Intervention, testified at a DC council hearing against the Community Safety and Health Amendment Act of 2019 (which would have decriminalized sex work in DC, making sex work safer), she pulled out a pair of high heels as a prop.

The TraffickingHub website says that donations made through the campaign go to Exodus Cry. According to Exodus Cry, it's raised almost $200,000 through TraffickingHub so far. “Those who financially support the Traffickinghub campaign are enabling us to further expose the violent injustice of rape and sex trafficking that Pornhub is profiting from,” Mickelwait told me. “In addition, funds coming into the campaign help provide support and legal services to survivors of sexual abuse and exploitation on Pornhub.”

There are no details on the TraffickingHub campaign site as to how, exactly, they plan to shut Pornhub down or hold it accountable, beyond amassing signatures, which in themselves don't do anything. But Mickelwait told me that the plan is “to hold Pornhub accountable to the full extent of the law both criminally, civilly and legislatively.”

Mickelwait plans to keep the petition running until it accomplishes the “aims of the movement,” she said: “To hold Pornhub accountable for enabling and profiting from the mass rape and trafficking of women and children; and until the enactment of legislation that requires third-party verification of age and consent for every person featured in every video on 'porn tube' platforms that host pornography.”

If that accountability comes in the form of a total shutdown of Pornhub and tube sites like it, some sex workers say this will only make things worse for them, as their work is already marginalized. But sex workers don't represent a homogeneity of needs and beliefs. Some sex workers stand by TraffickingHub, in spite of what Exodus Cry stands for, and are willing to look the other way when it comes to Exodus Cry's abolitionist agenda. Others believe Exodus Cry's mission will only harm them more.

“The people that are pushing back on [Pornhub] that still say, ‘I rely on this and I just want them to do better,’ are not getting the same kind of traction publicly, because they're sex workers,” sex worker rights advocate Kate D'Adamo told me. "I think it is disingenuous, and intentionally disingenuous, from folks like Laila [Mickelwait] to pretend like there are people who are pro-Pornhub, [versus] people who want to shut it down… Most people that I've interacted with want Pornhub to do better, but just can't lose that income. But they do have very valid concerns.”

Mickelwait told me that she'd consulted with sex workers and sexual abuse survivors from a range of experiences and beliefs while building the TraffickingHub campaign. Two of those spoke only on the condition of anonymity, claiming that they feared retribution or retaliation from Mindgeek, Pornhub's parent company.

“Multiple people in my industry have told me Laila from TraffickingHub is tricking me and others by claiming to be against child porn, but really they want to abolish porn,” a sex worker who is supportive of TraffickingHub's mission told me. “There's truth to that… It gave me pause, but ultimately, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. I don't think anyone is going to abolish porn, that's ridiculous. When you have consenting adults agree to make love on camera, there is nothing illegal about that.”

Most of the TraffickingHub supporters who are also sex workers I spoke to expressed frustration about Pornhub's lack of responses to copyright complaints and stolen content.

One said that they came across TraffickingHub online after getting frustrated with reporting their own stolen content on Pornhub. They say Pornhub didn't take the content down, so they went searching for help.

“I was furious,” they said. “It was on this day when I searched for an organization with like-minded views and found TraffickingHub.”

Another sex worker, who goes by Kai, told me that Mickelwait reached out to them to ask about their experiences with Pornhub. Kai, who is a victim of child sexual abuse, stopped uploading their work to Pornhub recently, after seeing what they said was disturbing content on the platform.

“So many sex workers including myself are survivors of sexual abuse and other sexual violence,” Kai said. “I cannot in good faith support a website that would profit off the torture and pain of children, and even some adults as well. TraffickingHub is necessary to show that no amount of money and no site should ever be able to support and profit off of trauma and abuse.”

I asked Kai what they thought about Exodus Cry's stances on prostitution being a form of exploitation.

“I will not lie, I have seen criticism of Exodus Cry saying they are homophobic and against sex work,” they said. “I am a gay sex worker and honestly if it is true I don't really care. Everybody has a right to their own opinion if it is true and ultimately all I care about is that right now that you're trying to help us."

Shiloh Connor set up a separate petition called “Sex Workers Against ExploitationHub” in June, “to raise traction in sex work circles without being forced to interact with problematic orgs like ExodusCry,” they said. “I don't necessarily think THAT petition is necessary, but I do believe that a dedicated campaign to shut down MindGeek and redistribute its financial assets is necessary," Connor told me.

“We the undersigned formally condemn and demand the shutdown of MindGeek and its subsidiaries, and the funds gained from the company over the past 5 years be redistributed to all models, content producers, camgirls, showgirls, and victims of abuse/trafficking exploited by the company,” the petition, which has raised a little more than 3,200 signatures, states.

Connor said that while they agree with criticisms against Exodus Cry, they still spoke with Mickelwait. “Yes, she has acknowledged her organization's homophobia and SWERFisms [sex worker-exclusionary radical feminists, or feminists who don't support sex work] lightly in the past. But words are not enough,” they said. “I feel that by creating a sex positive campaign to walk alongside hers, I can start a conversation about the inherent humanity of sex workers, and how anti-trafficking orgs and decrim orgs need to work together.”

“That is categorically and demonstrably false as innumerable written and other communications I have had reflect," Mickelwait said regarding Conor's claim that she's acknowledged the organization's past. "Exodus Cry is nothing but loving toward, respectful of, and supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, and any suggestion that I have said otherwise is false.”

Not all sex workers want Pornhub to shut down, because Pornhub can be an important source of income for some: its verified Amateur Program, Modelhub platform, ad revenue on video uploads, and tips from fans all pay out to varying degrees. For many established models, Pornhub is a revenue stream among several other paid subscription platforms like Onlyfans. And because Pornhub is one of the world's most popular and accessible porn sites, even free content can boost a performer's brand if fans find them there and move to paid sites.

“We are the people who depend on these platforms for income, but we also acknowledge and push for change”

Supporters and detractors of the campaign agree that Pornhub needs to do a better job of preventing stolen content from being hosted on the site. Banks' petition for better verification practices voices what most sex workers who've had their work reposted to tube sites without their contest struggle with: that their content can go up on these sites for free, without their knowledge, often without their credit, and without them profiting from the ads that run alongside the content. But for years—and still, today—porn piracy was something most people outside of the industry didn't care to talk about. The only people speaking up about it were sex workers, and people who aimed to use the problem of piracy to accuse the entire industry of exploitation.

“It's not a crazy concept that they should only allow porn on their website from people who want their porn on the website,” Banks said. “There's just no one else speaking out against this, and the only place you have [people speaking out] is the internet, where stuff is so viral… people don't do any of their own research, they just take what they are told at face value.”

In the same way, many of the people criticizing TraffickingHub are sex workers who are often pushed to the margins of the internet thorough shadowbanning or, ironically, platforms kicking them off due to FOSTA or appeasing advertisers and investors—the very same practices they're fighting against.

Holding Pornhub accountable for copyright infringement and lax verification processes is a catch-22 for some sex workers. Because the industry is already stigmatized, speaking out about the issues within it—as many did when accusers of on-set abuses came forward in June—is even more difficult.

“Sex workers are the most critical people when it comes to our own porn platforms and the problems that come with them,” Adora said. “We are the people who depend on these platforms for income, but we also acknowledge and push for change. We participate in our own boycotts—we are the people who make porn companies money so we are vocal about our criticisms and hold them accountable for their wrongdoings. Not many other social platforms can say that.”

The campaign for shutting down Pornhub doesn't stop with one platform. Mickelwait celebrated PayPal's removal of service to Pornhub as a win, and are pushing for other major credit card companies to do the same—despite sex workers saying that fewer payment options in an already highly discriminatory financial situation will only make exploitation worse.

Screenshot of a February 2020 tweet from Laila Mickelwait

We're inundated with sex trafficking and human trafficking narratives every day, from Wayfair conspiracy theories to QAnon being given a platform in the White House.

Now, a trafficking narrative is threatening to advance another harmful bill through Congress: the Eliminating Abusive and Rampant Neglect of Interactive Technologies Act, known as EARN IT. This bill would form a National Commission on Online Child Sexual Exploitation Prevention, and develop practices meant to “prevent, reduce, and respond to the online sexual exploitation of children, including the enticement, grooming, sex trafficking, and sexual abuse of children and the proliferation of online child sexual abuse material.” The commission would be made up of law enforcement officials and Silicon Valley industry representatives.

In July, a Judiciary Committee panel unanimously voted to progress EARN-IT to Senate vote, applauding themselves for working toward stopping trafficking.

“I think that EARN-IT and TraffickingHub really play into each other in terms of providing this very glossy cover that a lot of people don't necessarily look into,” D'Adamo said. “At the end of the day it's going to be people who are reliant on—not just Pornhub but porn sites in general—for their income, who are not going to be centered, and whose livelihoods are not going to be considered when we're looking at what the damage is.”

How a Petition to Shut Down Pornhub Got Two Million Signatures syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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saraseo · 4 years

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chicagoindiecritics · 4 years

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New from A Reel of One’s Own by Andrea Thompson: Top Films Of 2019

By Andrea Thompson

I state that my list wasn’t too late, 2020 came too early. So here are my top 25 movies of 2019.

25. Avengers: Endgame

Walt Disney Studios

Fan service doesn’t have to be a bad thing. While “Avengers: Endgame” mostly gave fans what they wanted, it was also a fond farewell to an MCU that had been building for over a decade, one that would be greatly altered by the movie’s end. Making good use of its three hour runtime, “Endgame” takes it time wandering through its own universe in a way that’s both heartfelt and entertaining before getting the gang together in an absolutely jaw-dropping, action-packed climax that had the most jaded moviegoers cheering.

24. Knives Out

Lionsgate

Rian Johnson may have had a complicated year, but “Knives Out” has him on top of his game. Johnson has built a career around toying with audience expectations in the most enjoyable way possible, and he does so yet again in “Knives Out,” giving us a whodunit that seems to reveal who in fact dun it pretty early, only to provide even more layers to peel back. After wealthy patriarch Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer) dies in an apparent suicide, gentleman detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) is hired to investigate, only to discover some very combative family dynamics, with caregiver and audience surrogate Marta (Ana de Armas) caught in the middle. Anchored by an all-star cast that also includes Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, LaKeith Stanfield, Toni Collette, and Chris Evans, Johnson keeps the mystery and the fun coming from start to finish.

23. Monos

IMDB

Just when you think the eight isolated teenage soldiers in “Monos” are treating the unnamed war they’re fighting in like a neverending slumber party, tragedy strikes, and they become very aware of what the consequences of failure are, and the life or death stakes they’re involved in. As they descend from their remote base in the mountains to the jungles below, their bond is torn and transformed into something far darker, as the beauty of their natural surroundings likewise becomes less of a contrast and more of a complement to humanity’s brutality. Moisés Arias is a standout as the group’s charismatic leader, who likewise leads his charges (and peers) into their own increasingly insular culture, as the bonds of adolescence enable them to surrender more and more of their humanity.

22. Toy Story 4

Walt Disney Studios

“Toy Story 4” certainly had no business being good. It was another sequel in a franchise that seemed to wrap everything up neatly in the last film, not only giving Woody (Tom Hanks) and his pals a happy ending, but reassurance that life would go on after their beloved Andy grew up and grew beyond them. So what else was left to stir any kind of conflict interesting enough to prevent one of the most creative and commercially successful film series ever made from devolving into one of the most cynical cash grabs of all time? Thankfully, quite a bit, and it mostly amounts to a case of white male anxiety. Woody had always been sure of his purpose, but when he runs into Bo Peep (Annie Potts), he’s inspired to rethink his life, as his former love has transformed from the demure, delicate toy who stayed behind on adventures to a capable leader who’s embraced life without a child, assists other discarded toys, and plans to see more of the world. It all amounts to a progressive message, that of being who you are right now. Life may change, and your place in it can become frighteningly precarious, but you should never be defined by your past, whether it was scarred by tragedy, or was the source of your happiest moments. Throughout it all, friendships, family, and love can last. To infinity and beyond.

21. Hustlers

STX Films

“Hustlers” is one of those films that could’ve just been a puritanical cautionary tale about the dangers of girls gone wild. Good thing writer-director Lorene Scafaria saves her anger for the patriarchy rather than the strippers who come up with a plan to turn the tables on their Wall Street clients after the recession hits. Even smarter, Scafaria anchors her story in the friendship between Ramona (Jennifer Lopez in a career-best performance), the originator of the scheme, and Destiny (Constance Wu). Before 2008, they and their co-workers are able to earn more than a good living, but after the financial crisis, their profession becomes less than viable. So they decide to drug wealthy Wall Street men and get them to spend ridiculous amounts of money, which they would then keep for themselves. By giving women who are normally sexualized furniture center stage, Scafaria allows us to share their delight in scamming the scammers, then their fear as their world inevitably unravels, resulting in an insightful, female-centric crime story that mostly unfolds sans judgment.

20. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

A24

Gentrification has been given the movie treatment before, but “The Last Black Man in San Francisco” doesn’t just show the scope of its horrors, it makes you feel them. In this world, it’s perfectly feasible for a little girl to happily skip down the street while men in hazard suits are cleaning up the water, as long as she resides in a neighborhood the rest of San Francisco is determined to leave behind in its mad rush for profit. Jimmie Fails (co-writer Jimmie Fails, who plays a fictionalized version of himself) has one thing to cling to though: a beautiful house in the heart of the city, which was built by his grandfather after he returned home from WWII, and is now occupied by an older white couple. When the couple departs, Jimmie and his friend Mont (Jonathan Majors) decide to move in as squatters in a desperate attempt to reclaim it. A tribute to a city that provokes love and despair in equal measure, “The Last Black Man” is a devastating indictment of an America that claims to reward hard work, yet often condemns those who are born with the most odds to overcome.

19. Ready Or Not

In-laws can be tough, but the clan in “Ready or Not” could probably teach the Lannisters a thing or two. Having grown up in foster care, Grace (Samara Weaving) is eager to bond with her new family, so she happily participates in their tradition of choosing a random game to play on her wedding night. But when she draws the card “Hide and Seek,” she discovers that her new relatives believe that if they are unable to find her and kill her before the night is over, they will lose their vast family fortune. In addition to making the honeymoon awkward, Grace must fight to stay alive in an environment where everyone now regards her as disposable, an acceptable sacrifice to keep the money flowing in. As wickedly funny as it is violently entertaining, “Ready or Not” is a surprisingly heartfelt tribute to humanism and the benefits of being an outsider…especially when insiders have murder on their minds.

18. 1917

IMDB

Sam Mendes has a reputation for intensity, but his harrowing war drama “1917” brings more suspense and terror than most horror movies. During WWI, two young British soldiers are given a seemingly impossible mission of going behind enemy lines to deliver a message. If they make it through, they’ll not only prevent a disastrous attack, but save quite a few lives, including the brother of one of the soldiers. Shot to give the effect of one continuous take, Mendes turns what might have been a gimmick and uses it to capture the horrors of war, and the humanity that often emerges in spite of it, all in a technically masterful work that showcases a filmmaker at the height of his storytelling abilities.

17. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Sony Pictures

Given that 2018 saw the release of the critically and commercially successful documentary “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?,” did 2019 really need another film about Fred Rogers? Hold that thought, because “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” makes an enthusiastic case for yes. It’s probably no coincidence that the posters for both films also mention kindness, since Fred Rogers not only advocated it, he seemed to embody it, and not only to the children who were the target audience of his wildly successful show “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.” Even if Tom Hanks doesn’t have much of a resemblance to Mr. Rogers, he nevertheless seems to channel him and the values he tirelessly championed to an uncanny degree, enough to make journalist Lloyd Vogel’s (Matthew Rhys) journey from cynic to believer feel fresh rather than tired. Director Marielle Heller also brings the same clear-eyed compassion that made “The Diary of a Teenage Girl” and “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” so heartfelt to this story of a budding friendship between two very different men.

16. Her Smell

Elisabeth Moss has long since proven she’s a force of nature, more recently on the Hulu series “The Handmaid’s Tale.” So what more does she have to prove with the film “Her Smell?” Quite a lot it turns out. If “The Handmaid’s Tale” is a showcase for Moss’s powers of restrained passion, then “Her Smell” allows her to tear up the screen like a tornado, destroying all the mere mortals unfortunate enough to become swept into her path as the self-destructive punk rocker Becky Something. As Becky’s mood shifts with the rapidity of a deranged pinball, she can’t seem to latch on to anything resembling stability, despite the efforts of her bandmates, collaborators, and ex-husband to steer her towards a healthier direction. Or just anywhere other than the rock bottom she seems determined to hit with full force. If Becky’s downward spiral is difficult to watch, it’s even harder to look away, as Moss infuses her with a charismatic talent that makes the inescapable tragedy feel Shakespearean in scope.

15. Varda By Agnes

If the documentary “Varda By Agnès” is difficult to define, it’s because the late great filmmaker Agnès Varda herself defies anything resembling easy categorization. Like her other films, the premise of “Varda By Agnès” is deceptively simple, yet soon reveals layers of complexity which unfold throughout, as Varda looks back on her life and career while articulating her style of filmmaking. However, the doc is far more than a retrospective, and far less predictable, at one moment reminiscent of a casual chat with an old friend, the next an imaginative journey wherein a great artist instructs devoted cinephiles and neophytes alike on how she not only viewed, but interpreted the world. It’s a fitting end to a decades-long career and life, both of which 90-year-old Varda defined on her own terms to the end.

14. The Farewell

IMDB

A movie with a character who happens to be a terminally ill grandmother is a tough sell for a comedy. But the matriarch who receives a fatal cancer diagnosis isn’t just a side character in “The Farewell,” she’s the central plot point. After struggling New Yorker Billi’s (Awkwafina) beloved Nai Nai (Shuzhen Zhao) is diagnosed, her family opt to keep her illness a secret and decide to throw a fake wedding to provide an excuse for them all to gather in China and celebrate Nai Nai one last time. And it’s…pretty funny, with not just the expected dark humor, but a wide spectrum of hilarity abounding alongside the touching moments of grief. Based in part on writer-director Lulu Wang’s own experiences, “The Farewell” is apt to make you laugh and cry not just in equal measure, but simultaneously.

13. Little Woods

IMDB

You can never have too much of Tessa Thompson, and “Little Woods” allows her to fully immerse herself into a role and world where a single wrong step could tear through a life with the force of a tornado. And she downright mesmerizes as Ollie, who finds herself in tight circumstances with a mere eight days left on her probation and the hope of a new life. Or rather, her somewhat estranged sister Deb (Lily James) does after their mother dies, and Deb and her son find themselves on the verge of homelessness and destitution. To help her family, Ollie decides to reenter the world of prescription drug smuggling, a dangerous but profitable business in their bleak rural North Dakota town. Remarkably, this is director Nia DaCosta’s feature debut, and the fact that she gives us a brilliantly realized modern Western with a feminist twist, where a drug run to Canada also doubles as an attempt to receive a safe and low-cost abortion, is hopefully indicative of much more to come. Thankfully, there are already hopeful signs of just that.

12. Dolemite is my Name

IMDB

Just when you think Eddie Murphy might be teetering on the edge of irrelevance, he reminds you why he’s a pop culture phenomenon by tearing up the screen as Blaxploitation legend Rudy Ray Moore, who became famous in the 70s for his portrayal of alter ego Dolemite in his film and stand-up career. Even if we’re aware of how this is going to end, with Moore investing – and risking – everything he’s built to make a film based on his Dolemite character, Murphy is astounding, radiating joy as he brings his larger-than-life energy and charisma to Moore, who was similarly magnetic. And it’s not just Moore, but the people he’s gathered around him who succeed as well, many of whom were just as underused by the mainstream entertainment industry. As they all revel in building and profiting off a film made on their own terms, it’s the kind of tender, inspirational tribute that earns every bit of its charm and intensity.

11. Queen & Slim

Universal Pictures

“Queen & Slim” kicks off with its title characters on a date that is only remarkable for its lack of spark, but things get heated in the worst way after a police offer pulls them over for a minor issue, and things escalate, with Queen (Jodie Turner-Smith) getting shot and Slim (Daniel Kaluuya) shooting the officer in self defense. The two then go on the run together, with their bond and their relationship blossoming as they drive south through a lush vision of Black Americana. That they both come off as deeply human while remaining symbolic of the tragic human cost of racism seems due in large part to the near symbiotic creative melding of director Melina Matsoukas, who also directed Beyonce’s “Lemonade,” and writer Lena Waithe, the creator of the series “The Chi” and who also wrote the acclaimed “Master of None” episode “Thanksgiving.” Their story is tragic, but it is also full of beauty and humor as Queen and Slim dare to hope for something better, even as they know the odds against such a thing are overwhelmingly stacked against them.

10. Fast Color

Lionsgate

It’s said that not all heroes wear capes, and certainly none of the women with superhuman abilities do in “Fast Color.” This criminally underseen gem has many of the beats, but almost none of the familiar tropes of typical superhero fare. Gugu Mbatha-Raw plays a woman named Ruth, a fugitive on the run from authorities attempting to harness her abilities, and most critically, from herself, since those abilities have become a destructive force she’s unable to control. In this bleak dystopian future which is rapidly running low on resources, the key to Ruth’s future may just lie in the home she fled years ago, where her estranged mother (Lorraine Toussaint) and daughter (Saniyya Sidney) embody a past she tried to escape, and a more hopeful future they may be able to bring to fruition.

9. The Souvenir

IMDB

Joanna Hogg’s semi-autographical film “The Souvenir” is like a deceptively calm pond which conceals a raging torrent just beneath the surface. Honor Swinton Byrne, the woman responsible for the storm that’s eventually unleashed, may still be constantly referred to as Tilda Swinton’s daughter, but this film suggests that won’t be the case for long. Her performance as Julie, a young film student in the 80s whose dreams are nearly derailed by her involvement with an older man who is also a heroin addict, is the kind of on-screen arrival that the term breakout role was made for. With part two arriving next year, it’s hard to imagine how Hogg or Byrne will match the kind of urgency they brought to this film, but this creative pairing – which feels like a match made in cinematic heaven – could feasibly pull it off.

8. One Child Nation

One Child Nation

Director Nanfu Wang grew up in a time when China’s infamous one-child policy was at its height, with every facet of society extolling the virtues of having a smaller family…and the consequences of disobedience. After Wang had a son, she decided to investigate the policy she’d never given much thought to and its impact. When she uncovered was a complex and horrific hidden history of forced abortions, child abandonment, and infants who were literally torn from their arms of their families and given to American couples for adoption, who were tragically unaware that they were abetting kidnapping. Wang fearlessly confronts her own complicity and that of her family and community as she delves into the past, and how China is attempting to erase it from its future.

7. Uncut Gems

A24

If we’re our own worst enemies, then Adam Sandler’s New York City jeweler Howard Ratner will never have a worse one. A gambling addict who’s always in search of that next big score, his need for his drug of choice has wreaked havoc on his personal and professional life. He’s managed to get his hands on the titular gem that may finally change his luck…if he can somehow hold off on his on self-sabotaging impulses. Anchored by not only a career-best performance by Sandler, but a breakout one by Julia Fox as Howard’s mistress, the Safdie brothers immerse us into Howard’s world, then his mindset as he unravels, all the while clinging to the belief in that one big break that could still change everything.

6. Bedlam

Sundance Institute

In exploring the history of mental illness in America, director Kenneth Paul Rosenberg explores his own family, and how they reacted to his sister’s mental health struggles, then expands his scope into the personal and political ramifications of how we decide to treat a hidden social crisis of our time, one that is steadily worsening. As he travels to jails, Ers, and homeless camps, Rosenberg grounds his documentary with subjects who permit him a staggering amount of access to the highs and lows of their journeys to stability, and more often, how ill-equipped the system is to assist them. It will leave you emotionally gutted, but also with a much-needed greater understanding of a large population who are in desperate need of both compassion and assistance.

5. Luce

IMDB

No one escapes unscathed in “Luce,” including us, as director Julius Onah slowly but surely tightens his grip on our collective throats, forcing us to realize how even the most privileged among us are caught up in a system that ultimately demeans us all, with little doubt as to just who bears the brunt of the consequences. The titular Luce (Kelvin Harrison Jr.) first seems to have it all and more. Adopted as a child from war-torn African county by suburban white couple Amy (Naomi Watts) and Peter (Tim Roth), Luce is a star athlete, a top student, and popular with students and teachers alike. It’s only when his teacher Harriet (Octavia Spencer) alerts his parents to a potentially disturbing essay by Luce that the cracks in the facade start to show, and Amy realizes just how little she may know the son she’s loved and raised, and perhaps also tokenized. Harrison’s masterful performance is equal parts chilling and heartbreaking as a young man who may be capable of great and terrible things. Just what will Luce become? The film has no answer.

4. Little Women

Sony Pictures

Greta Gerwig didn’t just write and direct Louisa May Alcott’s beloved 1868 novel, she brought it to life, with each of the four March sisters getting their due. Yes, even Amy. One of the most brilliant decisions Gerwig makes is to bring the book to the big screen in a nonlinear fashion, juxtaposing scenes from the sisters’ idyllic childhood with their darker adulthood. While the Civil War rages, depriving them of their father, the March family becomes a matriarchal worldutopia, wherein Meg (Emma Watson), Jo (Saoirse Ronan), Beth (Eliza Scanlen), and Amy (Florence Pugh) are free to explore their hopes and ambitions, guided by their beloved Marmee (Laura Dern), and befriended by their wealthy neighbor Laurie (Timothée Chalamet). As each sister struggles to find her way, Gerwig takes care to ensure that their lives not only feel familiar, but relevant as each wrestles with how to balance their dreams with the narrow expectations imposed on them.

3. Atlantics

IMDB

Mati Diop made history in more ways than one with her feature debut “Atlantics.” She was the first black woman to have a film in the main competition at Cannes, where “Atlantics” won the Grand Prix. The film more than lives up to the hype, with a touching love story that is also part supernatural fable and devastating indictment of modern exploitation and rampant poverty. Ada (Mama Bineta Sane) lives in a Senegalese suburb, and is promised to a wealthy man. But she is in love with Souleiman (Traore), a construction worker on a futuristic tower which is due to open soon. Souleiman and his co-workers haven’t been paid for their labor in months, so they decide to take their chances and depart by sea in search of something better. As Ada waits for news of him as she prepares to marry, she gradually learns that the spirits of Souleiman and the other young men are possessing the bodies of the living and demanding justice. As Ada slowly comes to accept the truth and take control of her own life and body (she’s forced to take a virginity test), Diop infuses her story with a beauty that never belies its sense of urgency for compassion in a world that can often seem short on it.

2. Parasite

IMDB

The word parasite conjures up images of a creature which takes from a victimized host without a thought of giving or the consequences thereof, but as Bong Joon-ho’s latest slice of brilliance unfolds, it’s unclear just whom is feeding on whom. But in the vicious capitalistic times we’ve arrived in, perhaps everyone is feeding on everyone, whether they know it or not. In the story of the impoverished Kim family, who manage to scam their way into various positions of employment with the wealthy Park family, Bong Joon-ho serves up a scathing indictment of the inequality which twists haves and have-nots alike. As one jaw-dropping development after another threatens to deprive the Kims of their newfound prosperity, both families suffer the horrific consequences. And even if you are able to free yourself from the dark obsession inherent in wanting a good life which remains tantalizingly out of reach, the vicious cycle, one borne out of a need that will never be quenched, continues.

1. Portrait of a Lady on Fire

IMDB

If Céline Sciamma had just wrote and directed a romance between two women who find the kind of love that leaves the screen burning from their mutual passion, “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” would still have been one of the best films of the year. But Sciamma does so much more, making the case for an entire history that has mostly been unacknowledged by the art world. Not just of the female artists who managed to create in spite of the obstacles, but the lives of women in general, who are often not considered worthwhile subjects. (Times have sure changed, huh?) “Portrait” may take place in 18th century France, but its insights into the dynamics between artist and muse, how art is created, and how those who are silenced manage to find a voice, feels very much needed in our present moment.

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mylivingwritemare · 5 years

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Rion Amilcar Scott Essay: Final Lineage Essay

This is the last essay I wrote for the class. I really resonated with Rion. I felt comfortable talking to him, like I was talking to a peer and not a professional, which is a compliment because I found some of the other writers to be very intimidating in how professionally they came off. Rion was cool, easy-going and shared a number of my interests, including sports and rap. The fact that I could go up at the end of class and talk to the author of the book I had just read about growing up outside the city, sports and rap artists is amazing and was easily one of the coolest experiences I’ve had as an English student. It was a pleasure writing an essay about such a cool guy. There’s no grade to report for this paper yet, but I’ll let you know how I did on it when it comes.

Here’s my final lineage essay about Rion Amilcar Scott and his book, Insurrections:

Rhythm and Censorship in the Works of Rion Amilcar Scott

Rion Amilcar Scott believes that “to create literature is to help create an emotional and intellectual lexicon” and that “individual words are inadequate when it comes to defining our nuanced and ever-shifting emotional states” (Older). Writing to Rion is providing a clearer image and understanding as he says, “I want people to see this spectrum of black experience that I’m presenting…on a visceral level as well as an intellectual level” (Sterne). An understanding of a situation is incomplete without mention of the emotional states associated with it, and so he tries to strike a balance of information and emotion in his stories, especially in his first book, Insurrections. As a black man who grew up in Silver Spring Maryland, a suburb outside of Washington DC, Rion finds creative ways to twist his own experiences, whether they be emotional or factual, into stories that express the struggles and concerns of African-Americans (Lanard). He expresses that he didn’t start writing Insurrections due to any “particular incident of social or racial injustice”, but that the Black Lives Matter movement, the murder of Trayvon Martin and a number of other occurrences, that happened after he began writing the book, served as inspiration and motivation for him to continue writing and had a profound effect on his work (Gillick). He said, “I forget often the influence the killing of Prince Jones (a Howard University student murdered by a Prince Georges County, Maryland police officer while I was a Howard University student) and the police killing of Sean Bell (both men were unarmed and minding their own business when killed) had on a story like, “Razor Bumps” on a story like, “Party Animal.” Those echoes were intentional. Perhaps I was looking for a catharsis of some sort.” He believes that many African-American men and women are speaking out because of the way in which America has abused and allowed the abuse of black people for so long and explains that he writes “black stories” as a way of “distorting and…flattening our humanity” (Ludwick). “I want to keep responding with complexity”, he said, and that complexity is no doubt the connection between the information and the visceral, emotional reaction associated with it. It’s not difficult to see Rion’s reflection in his writing. As a black man, he explores fatherhood, manhood, rebellion, perception and slavery, as he based Insurrections in the fictional town of Cross River, founded on a slave revolt. He admits that he did this as a sort of “wish fulfillment” because there were no successful slave revolts in America. With this, his characters and rhythm, Rion provides insights into the struggles of African-Americans (Lanard).

The Silver Spring native has accumulated a massive amount of success in so little time and at such a young age. His work has appeared “in publications such as the Kenyon Review, Crab Orchard Review, PANK, The Rumpus, Fiction International, the Washington City Paper, The Toast and Confrontation" and he won both the Mary Roberts Rinehart Award and a Completion Fellowship while earning his MFA at George Mason University (Ludwick). All of these accolades lead one to wonder what it is about Rion’s writing that is so good. He draws inspiration from a number of writers, including Edward P. Jones, Jorge Luis Borge and Randa Jarrar, whom he believes is “doing some of the most unexpected writing today” (Lanard). He even draws inspiration from poets such as Gwendolyn Brooks, Langston Hughes, Martín Espada, Derek Walcott and Pablo and believes that "Reading poetry every day makes your language more fluid. It makes you more attuned to the weight of words and more conversant with image and metaphor" (Packard). He goes as far as to say that the most important lesson he’s ever learned about writing is that “you’re only as good a writer as you are a reader of poetry”. This is why he reads at least one poem a day. Rion also draws a great amount of inspiration from hip-hop and hip-hop artists, his favorite, at the moment, being Kendrick Lamar (Sterne). While he draws inspiration from a number of great writers, poets and artists, the stylistic decision that makes Rion’s writing so popular is his ability to mimic rhythm and speech patterns.

Rion’s mission is to provide the truth so as to spread awareness about social issues surrounding race in America, and he does this by sharing black culture and, therefore, the black experience. One example is the chapter “Three Insurrections” in his book Insurrections. Rion himself grew up in an immigrant home. Specifically, his father moved to immigrated from Trinidad and as his stories find their basis in his life experiences, Rion featured a Trinidadian character. He admits that the difficulty in this was that he doesn’t speak ton his parents very frequently, but he wanted to give the most accurate portrayal of a Trinidadian so he interviewed his father, listened to many Trinidadian musicians and comedians and read a lot of Trinidadian literature, so he really researched the Trinidadian dialect and culture in order to make convincing Trinidadian characters (Lanard). An example of this is when Charles tells Kin “so you see how they do us? They kill a man of peace. What you think they do to regular negroes” (Scott, 178).

The influence of hip-hop and of what Rion calls “black English”, African-American vernacular, can be seen all throughout Insurrections. Rion even goes as far as to say that the town of “Cross River has its own music inspired by DC” (Lanard). An example of this is in “The Slapsmith” when Nicolette says “I’m not down for the count, uh-uh, the slapsmith bawled, slapping at the shadows. I can go another round. Another two. Uh-uh. That bitch nigga punched me! That bitch nigga punched me! Let me at him” (Scott, 63). This is the exact writing style one would expect from a guy who replied when asked if censorship was ever acceptable “it’s not” (Older). Additionally, the way Rion uses “uh-uh” as if to keep pace or rhythm along with the African-American vernacular paints the scene far differently than if he had just conceded and went with a less profane English. One can clearly see the effect of rhythm and speech patterns on the audience’s perception of Insurrections and by putting so much attention into rhythm and structure, Insurrections changes from this collection of short stories to an epic album, each story placed in musical accordance with the next to craft a complete, melodic whole” (Wabuke).

Works Cited

Gillick, Matt. “Rion Amilcar Scott 'Unapologetically' Broaches Racism and Oppression in 'Insurrections'.” BookTrib, BookTrib, 14 Sept. 2018, https://booktrib.com/2017/09/rion-amilcar-scott-boraches-racism-opression-insurrections/

Lanard, Noah. “Rion Amilcar Scott Discusses His Award-Winning Debut Short Story Collection | Washingtonian (DC).” Washingtonian, 2019 Washingtonian Media Inc., 10 May 2017, www.washingtonian.com/2017/05/10/washington-author-rion-scott-discusses-his-award-winning-debut-short-story-collection/.

Ludwick, Cameron. “UPK Author Rion Amilcar Scott Wins PEN/America Award.” UKNow, University of Kentucky, 28 Mar. 2017, https://uknow.uky.edu/professional-news/upk-author-rion-amilcar-scott-wins-penamerica-award

Older, Daniel José. “The PEN Ten with Rion Amilcar Scott.” PEN America, PEN America, 12 Dec. 2017, https://pen.org/pen-ten-rion-amilcar-scott/

Packard, Gabriel, et al. “Rion Amilcar Scott: Writers on Writing.” The Writer, The Writer, 2019, www.writermag.com/blog/rion-amilcar-scott/.

Sterne, Kevin. “The Rumpus Interview with Rion Amilcar Scott.” The Rumpus.net, The Rumpus, 6 Jan. 2017, therumpus.net/2017/01/the-rumpus-interview-with-rion-amilcar-scott/.

Scott, Rion Amilcar. Insurrections: Stories. University Press of Kentucky, 2017.

Wabuke, Hope. “Insurrections: Rion Amilcar Scott's Debut Short Story Collection Hits All the Right Notes.” The Root, Www.theroot.com, 12 Jan. 2017, www.theroot.com/insurrections-rion-amilcar-scott-s-debut-short-story-c-1790856222.

#rion amilcar scott #insurrections

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garp19-ruthliggins · 5 years

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Research Statement

Research Statement and Action Plan

Ideation

During the ideation workshop at the start of this project, I quickly decided that I wanted to focus on Reportage and visual journalism as my key subject. Drawing on location and drawing first hand from my surroundings has recently become a big part of my practice and so the opportunity to be able to study reportage and this type of documentary drawing is going to be quite rewarding. Reportage illustration and visual journalism gives one the opportunity to suggest a narrative and to evoke emotion based on an event, situation and/or environment. This is one of the key reasons that I decided to study to become an illustrator. I think as a way of documenting, illustration is somewhat overlooked, particularly since photography and digital means of working have taken over. Since researching this subject, I have discovered a couple of ways that I could focus my research. The first is comparing the use of photography and the use of illustration as a way to record or to report an event/situation/environment. There seems to be a variety of varied opinions about which one is more valuable or more appropriate as a way of recording something. I am also interested in the use of reportage and imagery as a language. There appears to be a debate concerning whether hand drawn imagery is more viable and acceptable than photography and vice versa. I think that this project could be significant because I currently want to tackle why reportage seems to only deal with subjects of a serious nature. I want to find out whether reportage is something that can record the everyday and whether these images are just as significant as those that are made from documenting war or major political events.

Research and Development

To define what reportage illustration is I began researching a variety of definitions. Reportage is the art of “recording real events and situations by hand onto paper”(Martins, 2018). It deals with “drawing the lives of others” and “captures minutes and hours as a opposed to fractions of a second” (Midgley, 2010). Veronica Lawlor described reportage as a “way of engaging with the world on a personal, emotional level” (Lawlor, 2008). Reportage often takes place in certain areas such as ‘courtrooms, Social events (concerts, demonstrations), news reports and investigations or documentaries including wars and conflicts’ (Embury, 2018). Mostly, reportage is often completed in places of importance rather than in places that have less significance. This is one area of research that I am keen to explore. Reportage illustration is often defined as hand drawn imagery and the ‘artists thoughts are directly transferred onto paper by hand’(Embury, 2018). This then provides a ‘visual authorship’ and ‘immediacy’ (Embury, 2018) to the work. This is also another area of interest because reportage excludes any work created through a digital medium such as a camera. After trying to come to a conclusion about the definition of reportage, I began to look at a variety of illustrators, all of which have a practice with a strong focus on reportage illustration. These illustrators included Julia Midgley, Olivier Kugler, Matt Booker, George Butler, Veronica Lawlor and Lucinda Rogers. Midgley has created quite a reputation for herself drawing in operating theatres and documenting the rehabilitation of wounded soldiers. The breadth of her work could be considered slightly unusualas she draws from a wide variety of subjects. Particularly in comparison to Olivier Kugler and George Butler who are predominantly, war artists who deal with issues such as the refugee crisis, reporting from Syria and illustrating more current events.

Olivier Kugler is an illustrator that primarily focusses on Reportage and he is quite interesting to my research as he is one of the few that use photography as part of his process. Since reportage illustration has such a strong emphasis on hand drawn imagery, it is interesting to note that Kugler does not ignore using a camera to document a place or person to then work from later on. Kugler is inspired by ‘photo-journalism’ and yet he also believes ‘there is a certain intimacy about drawing that cannot be achieved with a camera’(Witness, 2014). This seems to be a common thought among illustrators practicing reportage. Kugler also adds hand written notes to his final images that also add to the narrative and story he is trying to tell. Notetaking and annotation can add “human emotion” (Male, 2007) to an image and the kind of annotation that Kugler includes evokes a lot of emotion and certainly adds to an image.

Berger states that ‘an artist and a photographer sees differently’ (Berger, 2007). A photographer sees a ‘choice of subject’ and an artist sees in ‘marks on paper’ (Berger, 2007). He later acknowledges how even though there is a person behind the camera taking a photograph, they can only choose so much. The camera still makes a decision as to what is captured in an image. At this stage in my research, I agree with this statement since we are able to create a much more intimate representation of a place through drawing as opposed to photography. Personally, I believe that the tactile aspect of drawing allows us to experience more and create better. This idea of experience and experiencing something through illustration is something I want to explore further. Veronica Lawlor is an illustrator that has exhibited a collection of drawings made from her experience drawing during 9/11. In an interview she gave, Lawlor stated that the only way she could truly comprehend what was happening was to draw (TV, 2011).

Photographer who deals with quite serious subjects and he feels that there is absolutely no barrier to recording a situation with a camera. Some of the subjects that McCullin have photographed include poverty, working class lives and wars including Vietnam and Northern Ireland. The view that illustration is a ‘non-threatening tool’(Britain, 2019) to document a place is quite accepted among most illustrators so it is interesting that McCullin is able to photograph difficult subjects and for them to be used worldwide.

When we look at an image, for the first time, we usually have an already pre-conceived idea about what we are looking at. We are never really looking at an image with a completely neutral state of mind. Berger states that ‘seeing comes before words’ (Berger, 2007) however one person may see an image differently from another person due to the different experiences they will have had. The definition of illustration is essentially to explain something using pictures and to ‘show the meaning or truth of something clearly’(Dicitonary, 1985). This idea of truth is a concept that is quite fascinating for me because there is a fair bit of debate about whether illustration is more truthful than photography and images produced more digitally. The concept of truth is discussed in an article called The Student Construction of Artistic Truth in Digital Images. The article explores the concept of truth and reality and whether images made digitally are as honest as those that are made by hand. The article is quite interesting because it explores different opinions by students that would most likely be of a similar age to me. A similar discussion about truth comes up in both Berger’s Ways of Seeing and this article as they both accept the belief that ‘photography is an interpretation, no more or no less than a painting’ (Eber, 2010). However, Berger also accepts the notion that the camera also plays a part in deciding what to photograph. Dgiga Vertov put forward the idea that the camera is a ‘mechanical eye’, it is a machine that ‘shows you the world the way it sees it’. (Vertov, 1929)To some extent, I agree with this statement, there is only so much a camera can capture as opposed to the human eye. When we look with our eyes, we see a lot more as we have a sense of perspective that a camera does not possess. There is research to suggest that since the human eye is connected to the brain then this helps to inform how we see things. This essentially means that an image becomes subjective because we are influenced by information that we already know. This brings in a much more personal touch. Essentially, images and the way we view an environment can never be truly viewed the same as someone else because we have all been subjected to completely different experiences. Eber questions the notion of truth and reality in her article as she asks her students whether they are the same and whether we can ever achieve truth. Her article primarily focuses on the truth within digital images and whether, since they are constructed on a screen, they contain the same amount of reality as an image that was hand drawn onto a physical surface such as paper. Images are different on a screen. They have a different existence because they are images that are made up of pixels and use mathematical elements that can be manipulated and changed to suggest something. Supposedly, an image that is made up of pixels becomes ‘objective’ and ‘removed from life experience’ because the pixels are a ‘simulation of something else’ (Eber, 2010). I can appreciate why this view is accepted however surely a hand drawn image can be just as subjective even if it is not made up of pixels. George Butler commented that we choose what information we want in an image. One artist will not draw exactly the same pieces of information as another artist, nor would a photographer take exactly the same photograph as another. There is a personal decision made by the artist regardless of whether they are illustrating by hand or taking a photograph. Images are made up of choices, signs, symbols, composition and so much more. All of this is explained under the theory of semiotics. Semiotics is an area of research that I know I need to explore further as I am interested in the way that images are created and particularly how this links to reportage illustration.

Critique and Explanation

A key concept that I think will underpin this project is the use of semiotics and the idea that images communicate through signs and symbols. Images should communicate the way that a written or spoken language would. Semiotics explains how images work and how a viewer understands images. I do not know enough yet to be able to cohesively explain why images work they do but I am sure that this is going to be one of the key theories in this project. Furthermore, Berger explained that ‘seeing comes before words’ (Berger, 2008). This statement underpins most of the theories and ideas discussed within Ways of Seeing as it suggests that words are not necessary when it comes to being able to understand an image. The definition of illustration accepts this thought also as an image should be capable of explaining a narrative. I have made a list of the various questions emerging from my research as I still feel that I am yet to narrow down my research to just one singular question. There are also still some gaps in my research and so I am unable to come up with one singular, overarching question when I still have research to complete.

• Is illustration as viable as photography?

• How strong is wordless illustration as a visual language?

• Can illustration be objective when dealing with difficult subjects?

• Is illustration an effective enough a way to communicate?

• Does reportage have to be serious?

• Does photography have to be separate from illustration under the umbrella of reportage?

Action plan

Following on from the research that I have already completed I have gathered a list of texts, articles and books that I know that I need to read over the summer. The list below is a variety of different material that I think will help me to develop a more rounded view of my subject.

• Visible Signs – David Crow

• This Means This, This Means That: A User’s Guide to Semiotics – Sean Hall

• Understanding a Photograph – John Berger •

Camera Lucida: Reflections on Photography – Roland Barthes

• The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction by Walter Benjamin

• The Artists as Reporter – Paul Hogarth •

Understanding Illustration – Derek Brazell

• Illustration: A Theoretical and Contextual Perspective – Alan Male

I have already started to look into the theory of photography by reading Susan Sonntag’s On Photography however; I feel that I want to look further into the theory behind photography. Even though I am focusing on reportage illustration specifically, I still want to research outside of my designated topic because I think there is a wider context that would be valuable for my research.

As well as reading key texts and finding information from books, I think one way that I want to research Reportage illustration is by actually doing some. In July, I will be going to Peru for 12 days as part of a summer school that LJMU funds. Part of my application asked for us to somehow document the trip and my response is going to be through reportage style drawings that will make a small publication documenting my experience. This summer school is a fantastic opportunity for me to experience another culture as well as gather first hand research into reportage illustration.

I intend to visit Julia Midgley at her studio and interview her as part of my research. I have started to think about completing an ethics form and I have begun considering any risks. Since I intend to visit her off LJMU premises, I know that I am going to have to fill in a risk assessment form. I have yet to narrow down what exactly I would like to ask her, as I want to make this interview as worthwhile as possible.

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ladystylestores · 4 years

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The world is eating tech – TechCrunch

Editor’s note: Get this free weekly recap of TechCrunch news that any startup can use by email every Saturday morning (7am PT). Subscribe here.

You could almost hear the internet cracking apart this week as international businesses pulled away from Hong Kong and the US considered a ban on TikTok. Software can no longer eat the entire world like it had attempted last decade. Startups across tech-focused industries face a new reality, where local markets and efforts are more protected and supported by national governments. Every company now has a smaller total addressable market, whether or not it succeeds in it.

Facebook, for example, appears to be getting an influx of creators who are worried about losing TikTok audiences, as Connie Loizos investigated this week. This might mean more users, engagement and ultimately revenue for many consumer startups, and any other companies that rely on paid marketing through Facebook’s valuable channels. But it means fewer platforms to diversify to, in case you don’t want to rely on Facebook so much for your business.

As trade wars look more and more like cold wars, it also means that Facebook itself will have a more limited audience than it once hoped to offer its own advertisers. After deciding to reject requests from Hong Kong-based Chinese law enforcement, it seems to be on the path to getting blocked in Hong Kong like it is on the mainland. But as with other tech companies, it doesn’t really have a choice — the Chinese government has pushed through legal changes in the city that allow it to arrest anyone in the world if it claims they are organizing against it. Compliance with China would bring on government intervention in the US and beyond, among other reasons why doing so is a non-starter.

This also explains why TikTok itself already pulled out of Hong Kong, despite being owned by mainland China-based Bytedance. The company is still reeling from getting banned in India last week and this maneuver is trying to the subsidiary look more independent. Given that China’s own laws allow its government to access and control private companies, expect many to find that an empty gesture.

Startups should plan for things to get harder in general. See: the next item below.

(Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

Student visas have become the next Trump immigration target

International students will not be allowed to stay enrolled at US universities that offer only remote classes this coming academic year, the Trump administration decided this past week. As Natasha Mascarenhas and Zack Whittaker explore, many universities are attempting a hybrid approach that tries to allow some in-person teaching without creating a community health problem.

Without this type of approach, many students could lose their visas. Here’s our resident immigration law expert, Sophie Alcorn, with more details on Extra Crunch:

International students have been allowed to take online classes during the spring and summer due to the COVID-19 crisis, but that will end this fall. The new order will force many international students at schools that are only offering remote online classes to find an “immigration plan B” or depart the U.S. before the fall term to avoid being deported.

At many top universities, international students make up more than 20% of the student body. According to NAFSA, international students contributed $41 billion to the U.S. economy and supported or created 458,000 jobs during the 2018-2019 academic year. Apparently, the current administration is continuing to “throw out the baby with the bathwater” when it comes to immigration.

Universities are scrambling as they struggle with this newfound untenable bind. Do they stay online only to keep their students safe and force their international students to leave their homes in this country? Or do they reopen to save their students from deportation, but put their communities’ health at risk?

For students, it means finding another school, scrambling to figure out a way to depart the States (when some home countries will not even allow them to return), or figuring out an “immigration plan B.”

Who knows how many startups will never exist because the right people didn’t happen to be at the right place at the right time together? What everyone does know is that remote-first is here to stay.

Image Credits: CapitalG (opens in a new window)

No Code goes global

A few tech trends seem unstoppable despite any geopolitics, and one seems to be the universal human goal of making enterprise software suck less. (Okay, nearly universal.) Alex Nichols and Jesse Wedler of CapitalG explain why now is the time for no code software and what the impact will bel, in a very popular article for Extra Crunch this week. Here’s their setup:

First, siloed cloud apps are sprawling out of control. As workflows span an increasing number of tools, they are arguably getting more manual. Business users have been forced to map workflows to the constraints of their software, but it should be the other way around. They need a way to combat this fragmentation with the power to build integrations, automations and applications that naturally align with their optimal workflows.

Second, architecturally, the ubiquity of cloud and APIs enable “modular” software that can be created, connected and deployed quickly at little cost composed of building blocks for specific functions (such as Stripe for payments or Plaid for data connectivity). Both third-party API services and legacy systems leveraging API gateways are dramatically simplifying connectivity. As a result, it’s easier than ever to build complex applications using pre-assembled building blocks. For example, a simple loan approval process could be built in minutes using third-party optical character recognition (a technology to convert images into structured data), connecting to credit bureaus and integrating with internal services all via APIs. This modularity of best-of-breed tools is a game changer for software productivity and a key enabler for no code.

Finally, business leaders are pushing CIOs to evolve their approach to software development to facilitate digital transformation. In prior generations, many CIOs believed that their businesses needed to develop and own the source code for all critical applications. Today, with IT teams severely understaffed and unable to keep up with business needs, CIOs are forced to find alternatives. Driven by the urgent business need and assuaged by the security and reliability of modern cloud architecture, more CIOs have begun considering no code alternatives, which allow source code to be built and hosted in proprietary platforms.

Photo: Jason Alden/Bloomberg

Palantir has finally filed to go public

It’s 16 years old, worth $26 billion and widely used by private and public entities of all types around the world, but this employer of thousands is counted as a startup tech unicorn, because, well, it was one of the pioneers of growing big, raising bigger, and staying private longer. Aileen Lee even mentioned Palantir as one of the 39 examples that helped inspire the “unicorn” term back in 2013. Now the secretive and sometimes controversial data technology provider is finally going to have its big liquidity event — and is filing confidentially to IPO, which means the finances are still staying pretty secret.

Alex Wilhelm went ahead and pieced together its funding history for Extra Crunch ahead of the action, and concluded that “Palantir seems like the Platonic ideal of a unicorn. It’s older than you’d think, has a history of being hyped, its valuation has stretched far beyond the point where companies used to go public, and it appears to be only recently growing into its valuation.”

It also appears to be one of the unicorns that has seen a lot of upside lately. It has been in the headlines recently for cutting big-data deals with governments for pandemic work, on top of a long-standing relationship with the US military and other arms of the government. As with Lemonade, Accolade and a range of other IPOing tech companies that we have covered in recent weeks, it is presumably in a positive business cycle and primed to take advantage of an already receptive market.

(Photo by Kimberly White/Getty Images for TechCrunch)

Meaningful change from BLM

In an investor survey for Extra Crunch this week, Megan Rose Dickey checked in with eight Black investors about what they are investing in, in the middle of what feels like a new focus on making the tech industry more representative of the country and the world. Here’s how Arlan Hamilton of Backstage Capital responded when Megan asked what meaningful change might come from the recent heightened attention on the Black Lives Matter movement.

I happen to be on the more optimistic side of things. I’m not at a hundred percent optimistic, but I’m close to that. I think that there’s an undeniable unflinching resolve right now. I think that if we were to go back to status quo, I would be incredibly surprised. I guess I would not be shocked, unfortunately, but I would be surprised. It would give me pause about the effectiveness of any of the work that we do if this moment fizzles out and doesn’t create change. I do think that there is going to be a shift. I can already feel it. I know that more people who are representative of this country are going to be writing checks, whether through being hired, or taken through the ranks, or starting their own funds, and our own funds. I think there’s more and more capital that’s going to flow to underrepresented founders. That alone, I think, will be a huge shift.

Around TechCrunch

Extra Crunch support expands into Argentina, Brazil and Mexico

Five reasons to attend TC Early Stage online

Hear from James Alonso and Adam Zagaris how to draw up your first contracts at Early Stage

Hear how to manage your enterprise infrastructure from Sam Pullara at TechCrunch Early Stage

Kerry Washington is coming to Disrupt 2020

Amazon’s Alexa heads Toni Reid and Rohit Prasad are coming to Disrupt

Ade Ajao, Maryanna Saenko, Charles Hudson, Ulili Onovakpuri and Melissa Bradley are coming to Disrupt

Minted’s Mariam Naficy will join us at TechCrunch Early Stage

Across the week

TechCrunch

14 VCs discuss COVID-19 and London’s future as a tech hub

Societal upheaval during the COVID-19 pandemic underscores need for new AI data regulations

PC shipments rebound slightly following COVID-19-fueled decline

Here’s a list of tech companies that the SBA says took PPP money

Equity Monday: Uber-Postmates is announced, three funding rounds and narrative construction

Regulatory roadblocks are holding back Colombia’s tech and transportation industries

Extra Crunch

In pandemic era, entrepreneurs turn to SPACs, crowdfunding and direct listings

Four views: Is edtech changing how we learn?

VCs are cutting checks remotely, but deal volume could be slowing

GGV’s Jeff Richards: ‘There is a level of resiliency in Silicon Valley that we did not have 10 years ago’

Logistics are key as NYC startup prepares to reopen office

#EquityPod

From Alex:

Hello and welcome back to Equity, TechCrunch’s venture capital-focused podcast, where we unpack the numbers behind the headlines.

We wound up having more to talk about than we had time for but we packed as much as we could into 34 minutes. So, climb aboard with Danny, Natasha and myself for another episode of Equity.

Before we get into topics, a reminder that if you are signing up for Extra Crunch and want to save some money, the code “equity” is your friend. Alright, let’s get into it:

Robinhood is back in the news this week after a New York Times piece dug into its history, product decisions and more. Tidbits galore are to be had, but the Equity crew wanted to debate the morality of providing exotic financial tooling to less-experienced users.

We followed that debate with a dive into immigration, the latest news from the government and our takes on the matter. TechCrunch has covered the recent news, and provided some context on the broader concept. Our takeaway is that doing self-defeating things for no reason isn’t brilliant for the country as a whole.

Postmates has a home! After winding up somewhere in the middle of the pack of the on-demand cohort a few years back, the rise of DoorDash put Postmates in a pickle. Happily, Uber was on hand to de-brine the unicorn for $2.65 billion in stock. That’s a bit more money than Postmates’ last valuation. What we want to know next is how the sale price impacted common stockholders. Email us if you know.

Palantir has filed to go public, but privately, so that’s really all there is to say about that. Unless you need a history lesson.

Finally, funding rounds. We had three this week: MonkeyLearn raising $2.2 million for no-code AI, Quaestor raising $5.8 million for startup financial tooling and $4.5 million for Mmhmm, which is both timely and neat.

Whew! Past all that we had some fun, and, hopefully, were of some use. Hugs and chat Monday!

Equity drops every Monday at 7:00 a.m. PT and Friday at 6:00 a.m. PT, so subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Spotify and all the casts.

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