#which is a perspective that naturally comes about when you start with an si

[vermillioncrown]

i just reread the dbd loveshack tag, and with the ot3 posts and more recent zl/zyx ones, i can’t wait for the four of them to meet all at once, it’ll be wild flailing on all sides for different reasons the rest can’t interpret or vocalize. like, lwj horny gripping for wwx and his unrequited friendship with zyx, and possible jealousy with zl and zyx’s “friendship”. wwx being his disaster self for his two totally-not-crushes crushes and this random interloper. zl annoyed with how touchy wwx is with zyx, plus lwj’s emotional repression. then there’s zyx who has to deal with ALL THREE of them, but completely misses the romantic/jealous/whatever the hell, undertones of the whole thing is just super entertaining for me. bonus points for shuangfeng commentary

my favorite type of mess: one thing happening with ten million different povs/interpretations

it's a bit tricky bc it depends on when they meet again. i think i hinted that there will be zl in the north or somehow the north visits the south, but both situations are post-ssc. you can imagine how charged those interactions will be in a vacuum - adding on the spice of political tensions and blah blah will uh. yeah.

lwj: on wwx: yes on horny gripping, that hasn't changed. contention due to possible demonic cultivation pending. on zyx: his friendship w zyx will get deeper, and more entangled due to zyx's developing intimacy w wwx (<- not in an exclusively romantic sense). aka more Emotions and ascribed deep meanings to every little thing. on zl: and you know how lwj fucking drinks that jc haterade, esp with how he treats wwx? he will be sipping a different flavor of haterade when he sees zl again, esp given that the two didn't make the best first impressions on each other.

wwx: on lwj: lwj is someone he admires, and it's complicated depending on the events within the ssc. this crush is one he still doesn't realize. on zyx: crush is realized. oh fucking no, but he can't help himself. + the events that i have planned during the ssc and between these two, it's also a minefield for wwx. on zl: wow, this upstanding, talented, serious guy that he met before is here! of course he's zyx's martial sibling ('wow my exceptional crush would have exceptional peers'). esp with the issue of the wen afterwards, knowing that zl essentially helped wq and wn's family without self-benefit is admirable. oh. huh. he's... he's a prickly guy, but wwx deals with prickly people all the time :)

zl: on lwj: how did he get worse on wwx: lol it's that funny, rude little guy - *sees wwx full clowning to get zyx's attention* >:| and then noticing whatever wwx's deal is with lwj post-war, how did he also get worse??? on zyx: kinda redacted because there's a thing that will happen in the next few chapters. but at this point he takes more of zyx's actions in good faith, even if the squirrely nature of them tire him out. and the fact that zyx's still interacting with these northern idiots makes him 'they are hopeless. it shouldn't be our problem. let's go home now'

zyx: 'i don't fucking want to be here, and you guys are making it worse. just behave you motherfuckers'

'oh what, they've all met? lol that's between them and the tudi-shen where they have a fistfight' <- still thinks they aren't part of all of this (bc who goes around thinking people have a crush on them?)

(people with better self-esteem and romantic awareness ig)

'no. how... my neural network was... it was wrong...' despair upon realizing that the shuangfeng betting pool was right, and it fucks them up that they don't even know where to begin calibrating their zl behavioral model

=

bonus:

depending on other relationships that could potentially win out late-ssc

all i'm gonna say is imagine zyx thinking they could park zl next to lxc during a discussion conference. 'lxc, for as much as he mortifies me, is a stand-up guy. we've worked things out during the war. zl should like him'

and the tension that ends up between lxc and zl is thicc af

and then zyx erroneously assumes 'oh wow is this a crush? do they like each other??? that's a lotta manly tension imma leave'

#inquiry #Anonymous #on dbd #dbd love shack #^the bonus scene was from old old old obsolete writings of draft dbd #back when there was a definitive lxc endgame #AGAIN DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THESE AS A CONFIRMATION OF ANYTHING #i get fussy about it bc how i'm writing isn't like... #like i want a funny plot and i'll make the characters do it #i'm trying to make things make sense from each character's eyes #which is a perspective that naturally comes about when you start with an si #or maybe writing a realistic si lol idk #ugh i have a lot to say and i can't say it right now because things aren't written yet #i don't wanna promise things or spoil other things #sigh i guess the funniest thought is i know what kind of person i am #and zyx will not know/accept a romantic intent unless it is said plainly #billboard in the skyline #a declaration such that they can't misunderstand or be oblivious to it #but simultaneously they hate overt and overly public gestures and indiscretions of the romantic kind #so to have love they must fucking die of public embarrassment no matter what #today verm bf tried to say something cute #bc we jokingly call making coffee 'making potions' now #he called it a 'love potion' and hugged me #you know what my reflex was? #it was to bite him as hard as possible and thrash out of his hold #like a rabid beast #100% not built for gooiness #so to keep with an honest representation all romantic entanglement and its possibilities won't be the same type of drama as typical romance #but it will still be fucking stupid and hopefully entertaining

[linkspooky]

My Hero Academia, Chapter 372 Thoughts

This post could also be called “Who do you think is going to wake up, Kurogiri or Shirakumo?” I’m going to make an argument for why I think it will bee Kurogiri who wakes up undert the cut, because it ties up a bunch of themes with this arc. 

1. Stopping vs. Saving

The biggest conflict of this arc, which is also the central theme of the manga (Winning vs. Saving) is if overpowering the villains in a physical fight is enough, or if the heroes need to go one step farther and save the villains. There is a lot of setup for this idea of saving villains, it starts with All Might mentioning that both of their ideas of heroism winning or saving can work together. 

You can’t save anyone if you lose, but if you only focus on beating bad guys then no one will get saved. The entire previous arc before this is Deku going on a solo journey and trying to learn what exactly it will mean to try to save Shigaraki after seeing the vision of Tenko as a helpless child inside Shigaraki’s mind. The arc before that is the war arc, and remember that was the heroes levying every single hero they had in a show of military might to crush the villains and their strongest attack didn’t work.

If this arc is to be different than the war arc, then naturally it would take a different strategy for the heroes to win. I could keep going. And I will. Basically, every single fight between the heroes and their villainous foil has followed the same pattern so far. 

Deku rejects Toga by saying that he would never want to hurt someone I love so therefore they’re too different, which causes Toga to lose her interest in talking to both Uraraka and Ochaco when of all people she was the one who could have most easily been turned because she wanted to seek out the heroes in the first place and talk things out and see if people like her and Jin are worth saving. Deku’s rejection causes her to double down. 

Then, we have Shoto again against Toya, Shoto’s focus is on stopping his brother, as if Toya came to his violent actions all through his own free will. He only cares about stopping Toya’s violent actions without empathizing why he became this way or why he feels. Which you know is pretty contradictory to his goal to migle with his brother “We’re gonna mingle whether you like it or not” exept, Mingling requires understanding the other person’s side. 

Toya, (not surprisingly) gets back up again specifically because his brother underestimated  Toya’s single minded determination. Someone who learned all of his moves simply by watching news clips and memorizing them could easily copy Shoto’s move at the last minute by sight alone. Shoto didn’t understand his rother’s situation and therefore did not see Toya countering the move Shoto made specifically to defeat him coming. 

This pattern repeats itself further. Enji decides to play the hero against AFO, rather than face the son he abused, and because of that even exhausting himself and his powers completely to burn AFO alive, AFO just gets back up again. If there is a mistake the heroes keep making, si that they consistently refuse to see the villain’s point of view and perspective. It’s what Toga mentioned at the end of her fight  “you think that heroes and those they protect are the only one who count as real people” which echoes Twice’s callout “You people ain’t heroes, you throw all of us downtrodden folks to the dogs.” The heroes have yet to answer to that challenge in any real way. When Shigaraki sees all the effort the heroes put into saving Bakugo, he is just reminded of the trauma he suffered as a child. The heroes will stop at nothing to save someone... as long as they’re innocent, but Tenko when he was still a child, when he could have been saved he wandered for hours on the populated city streets because he looked filthy, and came to internalize the idea that he didn’t deserve to be saved as punishment for what happened to his family. 

“it’s not like anybody would even look at me.” So you have this continued theme of the heroes refusing to look at the villains perspectice and suffering, and that too is egregiously repeated in the fight between Shoji and Spinner.

Shoji delivers this speech about who Spinner is trying to protect... when we as the audience know that Spinner is literally only rampaging as a mindless godzilla right now, because he accepted a quirk to save his best friend Shigaraki. He tells the crowds of innocent people not to let their wounds be exploited the way that Aoyama, was exploited, but Spinner is also currently in the process of being manipulated and exploited the same way by AFO that Aoyama was. 

But Shoji doesn’t see this, because there’s no care given to why the villains are committing their cimes only on stopping them. SO once again, Kurogiri and Shirakumo who will wake up? I want to point out there’s another repettition of this pattern in the way Aizawa and Mic both view Kurogiri. Kurogiri’s legitimate care for Shigaraki is something both of them brush off and are confused by. 

Even though, Kurogiri’s desire to take care and tend to Shigaraki is what Aizawa recognizes as a sign that SHirakumo is somewhere deep inside of Kurogiri. However, to Aizawa and Mic Shirakumo and Kurogiri might as well be different entities. The metaphor of the cat is used in Aizawa and Shirakumo’s backstory. 

Aizawa leaves an abandoned cat in the rain because he didn’t think he would be able to protect or take care of it, however, when Shirakumo saw someone in trouble he instead saved the cat without a second thought. Does that not reflect the current situation? 

Mic and Aizawa along with the rest of the heroes have already given up on the idea of saving Shigarki, in fact they actively discouraged All Might form doing so when it would have been much easier to reach him before his multiple power ups. THe attitude towards Shigaraki from the start is that he’s beyond all hope of redemption, and yet is Shigaraki not another orphaned cat left out in the rain? 

Aizawa is someone who does everything to protect his students, he even took in Eri someone who was in a similiar cirucmstance to Shigaraki being kidnapped and abused by a villain who rtied to convince them they were evil deep down isnide and yet Aizawa is compelely unable to see Shigaraki as another child who was lost and hurt. 

Kurogiri however, cares for Shigaraki and this is another thing that Aizawa ignores about his friend’s identity because he doesn’t even see the half of him that is Kurogiri. He is SHirakumo every time they refer to him. It’s not about helping Kurogiri, it’s about getting Shirakumo back. 

So, what could possibly remind Aizawa and the rest of the heroes that Shigaraki too is a lost child, but Kurogiri waking up at Spinner’s call rather than Mics. Because it would be a physical reminder that Kurogiri too wants to save and take care of Shigaraki. if Kurogiri sees Shigaraki as someone who can be saved, then Aizawa can learn that many of the villains they are fighting against right now were once hurt children too, children like the ones they are currently trying to protect, children who should have been saved back then, and still can be saved. 

#mha meta #my hero academia meta #my hero academia 372 #my hero academia 372 spoilers #mha 372 #mha 372 spoilers #shigaraki tomura #kurogiri #shirakumo oboro #shuichi iguchi #mezou shouji #spinner

[soudlenoop]

“What even happens in this AU of yours, Mr. Big Time Gambler?” Part 2.5

HYPERCHROME AU CHAPTER 2.5: SURGE’S TIME TO SHINE

Theme: https://youtu.be/mVurA44hwiw?si=yVqoFLEZIQ0AGezO (Kickstart My Heart - Motley Crue)

Hey, look, check this out! I can count without going up a number! This is the first of the subchapters for Hyperchrome AU. These subchapters (which I’ve lovingly dubbed “point-fives”) typically focus on the corresponding main chapter’s events, but from a different character’s perspective. They can also take place before the events of the main story, and act as context to the actions of another character, or something. Speaking of something…

Chapter 2.5 takes place at the same time as Chapter 2, and focuses on the misadventures of Surge Laverock the Tenrec, who starts out as an average student (Yeah, kids actually do have school in this universe) living an average life in Starlight City, counting down the days until Winter Break… but then, PLOT happened! How did it happen, you ask? On a school trip to a power plant, Surge finds herself in a classic case of “wrong time, wrong place” when she gets a little too close to a generator that suddenly goes haywire, causing herself to get shocked at a dangerously high voltage.

Luckily, Surge survives, but she soon discovers that the accident granted her the power of electrokinesis! Inspired by the various comic book superheroes she read about, Surge decides to use this newfound ability to fight evil! Unfortunately, uhh… well, it’s not as easy as it looks.

The rest of the chapter consists of Surge slowly getting accustomed to her status as a hero. Along the way, she meets many new faces, while simultaneously getting into WACKY SHENANIGANS!!!

What kind of new faces? Well at one point, Surge meets Kitsuna Keller the Fennec, after saving him from getting the crap beaten out of him or something, I don’t know. They become very good friends, ok? I’m very tired of writing this.

Surge also has Amy Rose, her friend that she has in school, which she DOES go to. She likes Sonic a lot. Like a whole lot… Like, seriously, she’d do anything for Sonic… yeah.

But also, we got villains. 3 of them, in fact. At some point, Surge attracts the attention of infamous crime boss, Clutch Carnby the Opossum, after her heroic feats are recognized by the mainstream. Clutch, feeling the stress of GUN’s recent appearance in South Island, fears the possibility of what is essentially a second Sonic, and hires 2 mercenaries to take Surge out.

Who are these 2 mercenaries? Don’t worry, I’ll tell you. The first one is Mimic the Shapeshifter, an Octopus who can take the form of virtually anybody. He’s weirdly secretive about his past, but that doesn’t matter, he’s still pretty good at what he does.

The second one is Nicole Stilgram the Weasel. Why, yes, she IS the sister of Nack Stilgram the Weasel, the guy I mentioned in the Chapter 2 description! Don’t be confused, though, they’re very different. See, while Nack is a GUN soldier in this AU, Nicole acts more accordingly to how Nack acts in the actual games.

Basically, these 3 miscreants give Surge a whole heap of trouble, and eventually, they actually seem to have her cornered in an alleyway, but an oddly lucky slip-up by Mimic gives Surge the chance to escape! Naturally, Clutch and Nicole begin to give chase, before being suddenly stopped… by Mimic?!

Immediately, a gaggle of GUN soldiers appear from every angle, weapons all pointed at Clutch and Nicole, but not Mimic or Surge. Hey, wait a sec! That Octopus is no miscreant! I don’t even think he’s a mercenary! Mimic’s shapeshifting-form-thing that I should explain slowly dissolves, revealing a GUN uniform! …If you haven’t caught on yet, the big twist is that Mimic is a spy from GUN. Bet you didn’t see that coming, and yes, I DID foreshadow it in the Chapter 2 description. You can call him… Private Mimic Nisemono. Wh-… No, “Private” isn’t part of his name, that’s just his rank in GUN.

So, the group of GUN soldiers arrest Clutch, but unfortunately, Nicole escapes. Before leaving, Mimic apologizes to Surge for any confusion, and then goes off to do… y’know, GUN stuff.

A little while later, Clutch is broken out of prison, with the help of Nicole… who promptly shoots Clutch in the back, killing him! Now, NICOLE is the infamous crime boss! Or something like that, I don’t know, I’ve been writing this for too long.

I’m gonna be honest with everybody, I had a real hard time writing this. I guess I just lost motivation a bit there, but hopefully, I can find it again for Chapter 3! See you next time!

#my art #sonic the hedgehog #sonic au #sonic the hedgehog au #hyperchrome au #surge the tenrec #alternate universe #kitsunami the fennec #amy rose #mimic the octopus #clutch the opossum #nicolette the weasel #hyperchrome!surge #hyperchrome!amy #hyperchrome!mimic #hyperchrome!clutch #hyperchrome!kit #hyperchrome!nicolette #HOLY SHIT MIMIC ISN’T EVIL IN THIS ONE #fanart

[card-queen]

Story Craft: Character Typing

We return to the topic of characters to speak (very briefly) about the common typing methods for characters: MBTI & Enneagram.

Now, I have some clean-up to do about preconceived notions and the colossal amounts of damage that quirky, relatable text posts based on very broad stereotypes has done.

Typing, like many other things, is a set of tools. You get out of them what you put in, nothing more and nothing less. These are not personality frameworks and should not be used as such. For me, they are ways of separating aspects of characters, finding natural strengths & weakness, paths towards growth, natural struggles and possible methods each character might take as I begin to understand their thinking and priorities. There's been this wave of shoehorning characters and concepts into boxes for the sake of funny memes and it doesn't work. It often misses the point of the character and DEFINITELY doesn't work when it comes to typology.

Second point of contention: introverted does not mean introvert and introvert does not mean stereotypical shut-in who only likes books and rainy Autumn weather. Introverted and extraverted are when the focus in inwardly focused or externally focused, eg. your sense of justice vs. the accepted meaning of justice. Basically, if the comes back with an E at the front, it means their focus is outwards and not that they're some rowdy party animal who can't shut up.

Snooty qualifiers out of the way, let's get to the business of...

Typing!

Before going ahead, I'd like to take a moment to go over how and when I use these tests to get the most of out my characters. I like to have a fair-to-strong understanding of the character before I do anything with typology. From my earlier post, I may have a strong idea of their Purpose & Personality but be more flexible when it comes to their Perspective... or I may know three things but in differing levels of confidence. Everything is case-by-case and everything is completely to taste. No hard and fast rules, just pitfalls that people tend to not be aware of and parts that take a little more work and figuring out.

I do all this to avoid having no ideas for a character and ending up with a blank slate that only exists to be a functioning tool of the plot, a talking head with a bright personality who has nothing to do with anything going on, or a mouthpiece for some part of the world or some talking point that I want to share. Characters should have more to offer than the reason they were created.

Now, let's start with MBTI because I actually made a little test for that! MBTI is no I vs E, N vs S, F vs T, or F vs. J. It's more intricate than that but once you get the hang of it then you'll learn to appreciate how everything balances out more. The real battles are between Ne vs Si, Se vs Ni, Fe vs Ti, Te vs Fi. Everyone is made up of two battling pairs, one pair works as intended and one pair both excels and causes problems. Each of the 8 Functions form a stack which makes the MBTI type you're either familiar with or just may have seen. These pairs work together and are always the same, the order may be different though. Ne in slot 1 will always have Si in slot 4 Si in slot 1 will always have Ne in slot 4. Here's a brief rundown of what the Functions mean taking from 'The Building Blocks of Personality' which I found helpful but not too wordy.

Si or Introverted Sensing seeks out familiar or personally relevant sensory details to stabilise or ground oneself in new situations

Do you pause or hesitate and try to figure out if you’ve experienced something like this before, scanning for some familiar object, detail, or feeling to hang your hat on? Do you tend to notice little discrepancies in terms of how details compare to your past experiences? Do you prefer to use already known or well-established methods/procedures to handle problems? Do you easily feel overwhelmed or anxious when confronted with a completely new situation you’ve never experienced before? Do you get easily flustered when people/situations do not behave as you expect or if you are forced to improvise without enough guidance or rules?

Se or Extraverted Sensing seeks to participate fully and adapt quickly to new, immediate, or changing sensory conditions in the world

Is your first instinct to dive in head first just to see how it goes? Do you often feel the urge to “join” and be a part of anything interesting that is happening? Do you love trying out and experiencing new things? Do you enjoy the feeling of being able to confidently and competently handle yourself in an interesting activity or situation? Do you feel uneasy when you cannot learn something as quickly as you want or solve a problem as immediately as you would like to? Do you get easily annoyed when other people seem too boring, withdrawn, or conventional?

Ne or Extraverted Intuition connects disparate details to see new conceptual ideas or possibilities for creating change, improvement, or progress in the world: ENTP/ENFP

Do you feel energised by all the possibilities of pursuing a new path? Do you feel that your mind is often full of widely diverse or scattered ideas? Do you often have trouble figuring out which possibility to explore first because you can see that they are all potentially awesome? Do you find it hard to follow through with your plans because of being easily distracted by other exciting possibilities midstream? Do you feel a desire to achieve the best possible outcome and easily feel frustrated when others do not care about making progress or are resistant to trying out new ideas.

Ni or Introverted Intuition analyses and interprets the contextual meaning or importance of things in order to orient oneself towards what will be true in the future

Do you observe the situation from a big picture context, looking for patterns in the events/behaviours that can help you predict what will happen next (based on vague patterns you’ve experienced before)? Do you often feel quite certain about future outcomes, sometimes without knowing why or have difficulty explaining why? Do you find it hard to decide what to do if you cannot see any “deeper meaning” in a situation or if you cannot understand the “ultimate purpose” of an action? Do you get easily annoyed if people/situations seem “superficial” or often think that life requires more meaning/purpose?

Fe or Extraverted Feeling seeks to maintain or build interpersonal bonds and social structure in order to achieve harmony and intimate connection among people

Do you feel the urge to make sure everyone is okay or on the same page? Do you feel like you naturally gauge the social “temperature” or “atmosphere” of a room as soon as you walk in? Do you feel very uneasy when others seem dissatisfied or unhappy or express negativity? Do you instinctively want to smooth over interpersonal conflicts (regardless of whether they involve you)? Are you easily annoyed when people seem inconsiderate, aloof, uncooperative, or unappreciative?

Fi or Introverted Feeling seeks to analyse personal experiences as a means to create a set of values for determining what is good/bad or right/wrong for oneself and, by extension, other people: ISFP/INFP

Is it very important to you to “stay true to yourself” no matter what is going on? Do you tend to focus in on any conflict or potential for conflict? Do you feel quite uneasy, resentful, or internally conflicted when people act in a way that you disagree with? Do you pay close attention to whether individuals are treated fairly (as opposed to impersonally/interchangeably)? Do you need a certain degree of privacy and intensely dislike situations that even slightly infringe upon your/others’ personal space or boundaries, and then feel a very strong urge to speak up or protest?

Ti or Introverted Thinking seeks to discover precise formulaic knowledge derived from dispassionate analysis of what is factually true or false

Do you feel curious about what is happening and want to figure out how or why it is happening? Do you often try to figure out exactly what caused an event/behaviour and fix any problem? Do you feel the urge to push boundaries just to observe what will happen? Do you enjoy patiently building up useful knowledge and skills? Do you feel it necessary to observe/analyse from an impersonal distance in order to maintain impartiality (and feel frustrated when others do not do the same)? Are you easily annoyed by inaccuracies or falsehoods or “irrelevant” information?

Te or Extraverted Thinking seeks to follow, create, maintain, or streamline systematic rules/standards to achieve greater order, predictability, and successful action in the world

Do you feel it necessary to make a plan or change/improve the situation? Are you naturally motivated to make a situation more “normal”, “appropriate”, “effective”, or “efficient”? Do you hate the feeling of leaving an obvious problem unresolved (regardless of whether it involves you)? Do you instinctively want to set a clear goal/objective and try to achieve it quickly? Are you easily annoyed by signs of incompetence in yourself or others?

And now, here is a test that I made myself to use for your own characters. MBTI test I am by no means an expert, but I made this by compiling a lot of the knowledge and stuff I found most helpful for understanding how to use MBTI for characters.

Now onto Enneagram... this is something I kinda avoided for a while because I didn't understand the purpose and I didn't see the point of mixing and matching different typing systems. I've come to see the benefit in using both as it too is a tool that can be used for many of the same reasons that I use MBTI. They help show weaknesses, frustrations, things the characters may be running from, hiding or outright ignoring, they can show paths to growth and where companionship can form. It's a tool and a helpful one as long as you use it and don't depend on it.

I think that's the big piece of advice I'd give: you the tools but don't depend on them.

Anyway, I'll link my worksheet here but I'll also link some very helpful Youtube channels than can explain Ennegram a lot better than I can. After all, I disregarded it for a while before seeing the merit in it! The Enneagram Workshop (this is the method I use in the worksheet I linked. I found her explanations very helpful) You've Got a Type (a playlist for the basics but all of his videos were so informed but quick about it too)

Now, I know what you're thinking (you are, be honest). You're thinking 'but what are the types of your characters?' and you are SO RIGHT to ask that! I'll just use the same 5 again... but I'll also throw in another 5.

Cas | ESFP | Type 3 (3w2) Conoric | INFP | Type 4 (4w5) Gwynnen | ESTJ | Type 3 (3w2) Hughwen | ENTP | Type 5 (5w6) Sarabonney | ESTP | Type 8 (8w9)

Stella | ENFP | Type 2 (2w3) Ilya | INTP | Type 6 (6w5) Lilah | ESTP | Type 7 (7w8) Eliot | ENTP | Type 5 (5w4) Pippa | INFP | Type 9 (9w8)

And now the rambly bit where I talk lovingly about my characters.

Cas vs Gwynnen They're both 3w2 which means the operate the same kind of way (which they did, and I knew this even before I knew the typing). They both adopt whatever demeanour suits the situation to get to the heart of matters. Their big differences come from their outlooks (which again, I knew before I could ever really put it into solid terms). Cas is very much in the present and is willing to see things as they area and take situations at their face value. Gwynnen cannot help by see similarities to past crimes, other situations and criminal intent. Cas take every situation in with fresh eyes, building up a complete picture from the ground up. Gwynnen assesses situations and finds similarities that point him directions that he can then follow up on, finding the evidence to confirm or dismiss his theories rather efficiently. Both of them are hands-on, work fast and have a great deal of understanding but they work in ways that do not compliment each other's skill sets.

Hughwen vs Eliot A battle between two Type 5 ENTPs. To put it fairly, both of these men are schemers and they function from the sidelines of a group. Hughwen is more open with his opinion excels at problem-solving and more frequently, problem-finding that just comes across as overly cynical and nitpicky. He does have the group's best interests in mind as their safety is his safety, and he is ultimately a great at brainstorming the perfect solution, but the path he takes is often one where he upsets as many people on the way as one can. Eliot is a thinking man who excels in ideas and problem-solving but he's a lot more independent than Hughwen. He's inwardly happy to be a part of Stella's group and values being sought out, but if something needs to be done, he'd much rather figure it out himself and do it himself. He can't handle criticism well and will often shrug and stop giving his advice (despite his keen mind for it).

Sarabonney vs Lilah Both ESTPs with a Type 8. They are fierce go-getters who thrive in scenarios where they are told something can't be done. Lilah takes all challenges as personal, doing everything in her power to prove it can be done. She revels in the adrenaline and soaks up the cheers and adoration that come from victory. She loves challenges and is constantly guilty of trying to one-up other people's accomplishments. Sarabonney is more practical. Where Lilah would fight a dragon just to say she's done it and show off her trophey, Sarabonney would fight the dragon just to keep the peace, and use the parts for medicine. She stands on her tippy-toes just to look danger in the eye but she does it to keep others safe. She's bossy and forward but from a very caring and nurturing heart.

Conoric vs Pippa A battle of two very different INFPs. Both of them suffered hardships in youth it affected them in very different ways that shape their decisions. Both of them are very solitary and introspective by nature, and both of them have a screaming, burning desire to help people. Conoric turns to books and tries to hone his mind while Pippa cultivates a network of people to surround herself with. Conoric wears his pain on his sleeve, feeling it is a part of him. Pippa and her pain aren't on speaking terms. She denies that she's suffered and hates that life treated her so cruelly. She drowns herself in helping others, setting up deals that would get more people into better housing and help secure loans for up-and-coming businesses. She revels in the finery of life that she now has access, pushing the pain deeper and further away... because that means it'll go away right? Conoric has an unfair advantage against Pippa when it comes to growth. He has Cas and Cas spent a while trying to understand Conoric, something that really helped him come out of his shell. It gave him the attention that he craved after being denied it for so long and it helped him learn to communicate his own ideas better, allowing him access to help in his own way.

Okay, I'm finished down. I'll be back next time with talk about stories or worldbuilding. We shall see which, but in the meantime:

Happy creating!

Want more writing advice? Check out this post!

#story talk #about characters #character typing #mbti #enneagram #let's have some fun

[wyverian-lady525]

Oh, you bet😤 you used to be at my mercy, and now ... You shall receive the power of S P A M

May I have my three bois Cheval, Hyoro [Also still depends whenever you’ll full on write hcs for him or no <33] & Kyle with a naturally shy and blushy Reader. Like, literally five seconds of eye contact alone already causes them to cover their face in a red mess.

BUT, now comes the more interesting part; they can be put into a massive state of confusion due to the heat and sudden temperature changes, which also makes their behaviour do an absolute 180°. Like instead of the usual reserved demeanour they hold, now they'd get a whole lot more touchy, being close enough that their noses are almost touching, much more direct with their words, without realisation letting out sentences that unintentionally sound suggestive/flirty and would literally just pin them to a nearly wall.

May or may not be curious to what their responses would be to that happening for the first time in their case, cause I do know dam well these three gonna be redder than Satan himself. Let's also not have them in a relationship just yet just to worsen any given reactions, si?😏

I like this! XD Hope you enjoy!💖

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Cheval, Hyoro, and Kyle React to a Naturally Shy and Blushy Reader

Cheval

-He would figure this out after you fell off of a monstie. Cheval was letting you try and ride Rathi for a bit, but something happened, and you fell flat on your face. He didn't think twice about helping you up and inspecting you for cuts or bruises. This resulted in unnecessary eye contact and closeness of faces. It was enough for your secret that even you didn't know about to slip as your face went extremely red, the heat getting to your head.

-You began to act unlike your reserved self, face going redder than Cheval's hair. It might be nerves, shyness, or something else entirely, but you can't stop yourself from getting closer or saying things. Like, does he know how beautiful his eyes are? They're like the eyes of a wild wyvern. You couldn't stop your words or actions as you got closer to him. In fact, he was leaning back, and you were practically on top of him as your noses nearly touched. You felt different, and perhaps that's what prompted your actions, but your nerves were in control now.

-Poor Cheval was at a loss for what to do. From his perspective, you were really coming onto him. He never expected you to flirt with him, and it really made him evaluate how he felt about you. But that compliment about his eyes really drove him over the edge. Now he was as red as his hair. Having something be physically attractive to you made him feel weird. Was it the start of a crush? Who can say? Either way, he's going to watch his actions and yours from now on.

Hyoro

-Poor Hyoro is always at a loss for words and can hardly make eye contact himself. You were naturally reserved as well, so things worked out nicely when you guys traveled together. However, there was always the struggle of foraging. Communicating what to grab and who was getting what. One time when you guys were gathering berries, your hands accidentally touched. He was quick to pull away, but the contact alone was enough to make your face go red. In fact, your face got redder and hotter than he's ever seen in you before.

-Your behavior is what shocked him. Usually, the two of you keep to yourselves, but you couldn't stop yourself from saying things and getting closer to him. And it continued for a while, like even when you guys set up camo and started a fire. Now the heat of the fire was combining with the heat on your face. Your side was practically pressed to his, and you were busy brushing his brown bangs out of his face, which always covered his eye. You couldn't stop yourself from complimenting his freckles, unknowingly calling them cute. You felt shy yet happy at the same time, allowing your actions to speak for themselves.

-Now Hyoro is already naturally shy, so add in what you're doing, and we have a recipe for disaster. He would clam up and his face would get so red that he could go to Cheval and brag that his face is redder than his hair. If you liked him, which is how things were coming across to Hyoro, he wasn't ready for that. In fact, the poor man might faint if you keep this up for much longer. He takes note to keep his distance from you for a while once things come down. Hyoro doesn't think he could handle going through that again.

Kyle

-Kyle is normally a cocky and confident person, but he too can get flustered easily under certain circumstances. That said, you were a little reserved, so you guys got along good enough. But there's also time where you guys get into little squabbles, and by that, I mean Kyle gets irritated by something that happened. It leads to him lecturing you, staring you in the eye as he tries to get his point across. However, the hunter is unaware of the effects it's having on you as your face goes red and hot.

-It's suddenly like he wasn't just scolding you because suddenly you were an entirely different person. You couldn't stop yourself from taking closer steps towards him until Kyle was practically pinned against the wall. You then cupped his face in your hands and complimented his looks. In your eyes, it felt totally innocent. But to anyone else, it looked very flirtatious. People probably thought you guys were an item. They didn't realize you were acting out of shy impulse. You felt like you needed to do something, and this was the appropriate action for said feeling.

-But Kyle's confidence has all drained away since you took that step towards him. It was funny how easy it was to break him, especially when he felt like he was the one in control. But now his face was all red as a weird feeling went through him. He wasn't used to receiving any compliments from anyone, and it made him feel awkward. Kyle was trying to get you to stop the whole time because people kept giving you guys knowing looks, and he didn't need this misinformation to reach his family. When all is said and done, he warns you to never do that again. But we all know that his threats are hollow.

#monster hunter stories #monster hunter stories 2 #mhst #mhst2 #cheval #monster hunter stories cheval #cheval x reader #mhst2 cheval #hyoro #mhst hyoro #hyoro x reader #kyle #kyle x reader #mhst2 kyle #mhst2 kyle x reader #monster hunter stories 2 kyle #headcanons #cheval headcanons #hyoro headcanons #kyle headcanons

[teopz]

How Te and Ti works

I was to stop making new ones for functions but I guess my interest came back for these. I haven’t fully grasped what the other functions are, but these are my initial thoughts for them. It would have been better to parallel Fi and Ti since they are technically similar but my previous posts paired both extroverted and introverted of one function, so I’ll just stick to it. I can’t find a mirror between both on how they work similar to what happens with Se and Si so I just drew it as how I understood it. Terms: OBJECT - anything that is real/present or can be perceived, event SUBJECT - you, the person doing the perception SUBJECTIVE FACTOR - past/present/future, experiences, etc. FACTS - definitions that are tangible or are true

INTROVERTED THINKING (Ti Dominant) - ITJ

First of all, I don’t see Accuracy as the main word for the function which is described by MBTI. It may be the end product though. It can be, in its core, correlated with PERSPECTIVE or just to be safe we can use CONCEPTS/THEORIES

- What Ti does is it usually sees an object or event which then an abstract thought pops up (sometimes it does this spontaneously) usually leading to a concept/theory which is still blurred. It then takes different perspectives of an object or objects breaking it down finding things that can justify on the concept/theory until it is finally formed/concluded. It feels like you’re trying to build something by looking on different things in different ways. When it is finally concluded, then this concept can be used on different objects/events.  An example would be this theory I had when I was still in college about “smart people being generally skinny”. It started with the thought of thinking/reading books/and using your brain needs a lot of glucose -> glucose is depleted thus fat is not stored (Yes fat comes from unused glucose). I then started observing the top students and true enough they are usually skinny or average in weight and included in different factors as well. But I never did conclude this theory because there are other factors that can still come into play.

MBTI or psychology in itself is full of concepts and theories that the Ti dom / Ti function would like to play and enjoy with since most of it are intangible.

Some Statements (not mine) about Ti which I found in a blog explaining Chapter X:

- I personally have a sort of Ti standard that if you cannot put it into simple terms then you do not understand it yourself. I feel negative when someone says, “It’s extremely complex, too hard to explain” Sure it takes time to make things simple and concise but don’t blame others for our own lack of Fe work and then belittle them, “You wouldn’t get it.” If you can’t Te and Fe it, then nobody can get it or trust that you yourself got it.

- That is because to attack his most function is to attack him. That is like a direct attack not to mention he does not trust the Fe to sympathize with the attacker. Not that he will attempt to press anyone with his convictions, but he will break out with retorts against every criticism, however just.

EXTROVERTED THINKING (Te dominant) - ETJ

Same with Ti, Te is not in its nature about Effectiveness. It can lead to everything being effective but the function itself is more of STANDARDIZATION. It’s not about having organizational skills or about scheduling as what MBTI describes.

- What Te does is that it collects a lot of facts and produces this what I believe is a filter. This filter is what we call a STANDARD/ SYSTEM. I’m not really sure how it is made but it’s there. Then with this standard it judges an object with facts about it and when all of the facts presented are true which then the object can be valued or is considered true.

An example would be an ENTJ friend of mine who shares about this “list of things to look for to consider her perfect boyfriend for her” which includes a basketball player, taller than her, smarter than her, more dominant, etc. And everyone who does not fit that criteria are all rejected and not given a chance at all. You may call them having high standards but that is what they perceive is true. Another instance would be having coworkers that are not up to her standards, she usually despises them, and she usually just does the work because she believes she can only trust herself.

Usually, they are skeptical to things that are not tangible to them or out of this world (ghosts).

Some Statements (not mine) about Te which I found in a blog explaining Chapter X:

- Te “produces” new facts that lead to mainstream truth. Concepts are “synthetic” and “predicative”. I think he (Carl Jung) is getting at the concept of gather vs organize here and noticing that Te is gathering for the mainstream good. It is going out and obtaining new data for them.

#mbti #function #introverted thinking #extroverted thinking

[neverekyuu]

[SPOILERS BG3] BG3 ENDING

As the days have gone by regarding the release of the game, I have started to see quite a few reviews, requests, questions and complaints appearing with the ending of BG3

Here I'll give my opinion.

(With google translator help, cause English is not my mother language and I'm too lazy to rewrite it all in English) (Al final está la versión en castellano original, por si alguien es hispanohablante y lo prefiere)

SPOILER AHEAD. DON'T READ UNLESS YOU'VE FINISHED THE GAME OR DON'T MIND GETTING THE WHOLE PLOT EXPOSED

First of all, I have to say that at first I also felt the emptiness in my chest, the existential crisis that accompanies and underpins when you finish something that has been bringing satisfaction or simply occupying part of your time. I felt slightly disappointed because, like everyone (especially I'm talking about western people, because I'm European and although globalization has been an equalizing factor at the international level, I think it's important to point it out to understand where my ideas come from), due to the cultural baggage that we accumulate and is fed back through the products that we consume every day; in the end it all drinks from the same udders.

To put you into the situation a bit, I romanced the Emperor and followed his plan quite to the letter because it seemed to me the most logical position with the (probably partial) information I had. The reality is that I expected him to betray me with 99.9% certainty. Why? Well, it was pretty clear to me that he was a creature above human bullshit, feelings and hormones messing with your brain chemistry. My character also knew it and was prepared to act if that scenario came to life. Prepared to stab him in the fucking eye. After all, the betrayal would happen whether I got octopus sex or not. As we say in spanish: que me quiten lo bailado.

The thing is… This betrayal didn't happen. That surprises me and leaves a loose end that I have decided to fill with my shit in the absence of an official canon response. It's not like I'm not used to it as a fanfic writer. Moreover, even if there had been an official answer, I would have done my own alternative because that's how my brain works.

I now proceed to make my point.

Why there aren't always happy endings or why they don't always have to be.

This is the part where I'm going to say that expecting a happy ending for everything and everyone is just unrealistic and kind of stupid.

Endings simply are. Happy or sad depends on the perspective you look at them. What's more, it's even questionable to talk about "endings". Things always continue. It's how shit goes. It continues flowing even if you're not there to see it. Final or begining… It also depends on who is watching it. It's relative.

To simplify things, we will understand the end as the physical and real end of the game, that is, the point at which the game stops being played. So… It may be the end of the game, but none of the plots are finished per se. Or maybe yes, depending if you understand death as end of some characters plots.

Be that as it may, the end of life is like this: a sad ending. Life is the one you go with company; you go to death alone even if you were hand in hand or surrounded by a handful of people you love and love you back. The rest is nonsense to temper our fears and make us feel better. Expecting anything else is absurd. Once again the fault lies with our cultural baggage with a deep and putrid religious base that makes us believe that there is a better second life after the shitty first ones. Because thinking about life as an only one trip seems to embitter us, sacks of cells whose function at the end of the day is… Survival. Continue. Go on. I guess it goes against our very nature.

From that perspective, you can guess why endings never feel good. They imply shit ending.

On the other hand, I understand the discomfort of some people with the ending being more open than what audiovisual products have accustomed us to. And yet, I don't see a problem. I finished the game this morning and I want more. And I'm going to have it, because I plan to write what I think happened, so I can empty this feeling from my chest and head and get these thousand ideas out of them.

So here I am going to play devil's advocate and defend Larian's handling of the BG3 ending: the ending ties up the loose ends of the conflicts. Those that are not resolved by our hand end somehow:

Astarion if you didn't let him become Vampire Lord he can't resist the sun. It is the expected and logical ending. Imagine what happens next. Your ass goes with him? Maybe you didn't? That's your thing to decide.

Does Karlach go to hell or decide to die in style after saving the city? That depends on what you have decided. What did you expect to happen? That the power of friendship will save her? If you have another idea, go ahead and plant it yourself or imagine it.

The Emperor doesn't respond even though you basically screwed up your brain and stopped being you (because you kind of stop being you as long as according to the canon you stop having a soul becoming the Mind Flayer, but this is like the dilemma of The Ship of Theseus) for carrying out his plan to the heart of it. You did and undid as he said. He just tells you that you are the best version of yourself possible. And I agree: I did not come to become a walking octopus "a feira" because I wanted to suck the Emperor's tentacles from anatomical equality; I simply wanted the power that lay beyond the stunted mind of a primitive and inferior being such as a human. The game leaves open what kind of mind flayer you will be. And the Emperor does the same: he leaves without saying anything. Because now you are like him and you understand everything with perspective. You were a means to an end. Feelings and thoughts are a whole. No more is needed. With this perspective you can better understand everything. And, in fact, it's the most logical thing to do according to his character: he doesn't have to keep treating me like the sentimental bug driven by his emotions. Now I have another perspective closer to his and I understand the reason for what was done. No one has to explain anything else to me. ________________________________________________________ Lo pongo en español también por si a alguien le interesa:

En primer lugar, he de decir que en un principio también sentí el vacío en el pecho, la crisis existencial que acompaña y apuntala cuando terminas algo que ha estado comportando satisfacción o simplemente ocupando parte de tu vida. Me sentí ligeramente decepcionado en parte porque, como todos (sobre todo hablo de la gente de occidente, porque soy europeo y aunque la globalización ha supuesto un factor igualador a nivel internacional, creo que es importante señalarlo para entender de dónde beben mis ideas y cómo es más o menos la educación que he recibido), por el bagaje cultural que acumulamos y se retroalimenta a través de los productos que consumimos todos los días; al final todo bebe de las mismas ubres.

Para poner un poco en situación, yo romanceé al Emperador y seguí su plan bastante al pie de la letra porque me parecía la posición más lógica con la información (probablemente parcial) que tenía. La realidad es que esperaba que me traicionara con un 99.9% de seguridad. ¿Por qué? Bueno, tenía bastante claro que él era una criatura que estaba por encima de las gilipolleces mortales de los sentimientos y las hormonas alterándonos la química cerebral. Y mi personaje también lo sabía y estaba preparado para tener que actuar frente a ese escenario, muy a pesar de que decidió seguir adelante. Al fin y al cabo, la traición se produciría igual echase un polvo o no. Que le quiten lo bailao' ahora si pueden.

El caso es que… Esta traición no ocurre. Y eso me sorprende y deja un cabo suelto que he decidido yo llenar por mi cuenta ante la ausencia de una respuesta oficial. No es como si no estuviera acostumbrado como escritor de fanfics que soy. Es más, aunque hubiera habido una respuesta oficial, yo habría hecho la mía alternativa porque es como funciona mi cerebro.

Procedo ahora a exponer mi punto.

Por qué no siempre hay finales felices o por qué no siempre tienen que haberlo.

Esta es la parte en la que voy a pasar a defender por qué me parece que esperar un final feliz para todo y todos es simplemente irreal y un poco estúpido.

Los finales son. Simplemente. Felices o tristes depende de la perspectiva con la que los mires. Es más, es hasta cuestionable hablar de "final", cuando las cosas siguen… Continuando. Fluyendo. Es final o principio también dependiendo del observador. Es relativo.

Para este caso, entenderemos como final el término físico y real del juego, es decir, el punto en el que deja de reproducirse la partida. Puede ser el final del juego, pero ninguna de las tramas está terminada per se. O quizás sí, dependiendo si entiendes que algunos murieron y por tanto es el final de sus tramas.

Sea como sea, el final de la vida es así: triste. Es a la vida a la que se va acompañado; a la muerte se acude solo incluso aunque estuvieras dado de la mano o rodeado de un puñado de gente que te quiere. Lo demás es monserga para templar los miedos y hacernos sentir mejor. Esperar otra cosa es absurdo y la culpa una vez más la tiene nuestro bagaje cultural con una profunda y pútrida base religiosa que nos hace creer que hay otra segunda vida mejor después de una primera vida de mierda. Porque pensar que solo hay un viaje parece amargarnos a nosotros, sacos de células cuya función al final del día es… Sobrevivir. Seguir. Continuar. Va contra nuestra propia naturaleza.

Desde esa perspectiva, los finales nunca son buenos porque entrañan que algo acaba.

Por otro lado, entiendo el malestar de alguna gente con que el final sea más abierto de lo que nos tienen acostumbrados los productos audiovisuales. Y sin embargo, no le veo problema. He terminado el juego esta mañana y quiero más. Y lo voy a tener, porque pienso escribir lo que yo creo que pasó para vaciar esta sensación de mi pecho y sacar estas mil ideas de mi cabeza sobre lo que puede pasar después.

Así es que aquí voy a hacer de abogado del diablo y defender la gestión del final de BG3 por parte de Larian: el final ata los cabos sueltos de los conflictos. Los que no se resuelven por nuestra mano terminan de alguna manera:

Astarion si no le dejaste convertirse en Lord Vampiro no resiste el sol. Es el final esperable y lógico. Imagínate tú qué ocurre después. Tu pejota se va con él¿? Decide pasar¿? Eso lo tendrás que contar tú.

Karlach se va al infierno o decide morir por todo lo alto después de salvar la ciudad¿? Eso depende de lo que tú hayas decidido. Que pretendías que sucediera¿? Que la salvara el poder de la amistad¿? Si tienes otra idea, adelante, plantéala tú o imagínala.

El Emperador no responde a pesar de que básicamente te agusanaste el cerebro y dejaste de ser tú (porque algo dejas de ser tú tanto en cuanto que según el canon dejas de tener alma al convertirte el azotamentes) por llevar a cabo su plan al dedillo. Hiciste y deshiciste como él dijo. Tan solo te dice que eres la mejor versión de ti mismo posible. Y estoy de acuerdo: no vine a convertirme en un pulpo a feira andante porque quisiera chuparle los tentáculos al Emperador desde la igualdad anatómica; simplemente quería el poder que había más allá de la mente atrofiada de un ser primitivo e inferior como lo es un ser humano. El juego deja abierto qué tipo de azotamentes serás. Y el Emperador hace lo propio: se va sin decir nada. Porque ahora eres como él y entiendes todo con perspectiva. Eras un medio para un fin. Los sentimientos y los pensamientos son un todo. No hace falta más. Y pensándolo así, todo se entiende mejor. Y, de hecho, es lo más lógico acorde a su personaje: no tiene que seguir tratándome como el bicho sentimentaloide llevado por sus emociones que era; ahora tengo otra perspectiva más cercana a la suya y comprendo el porqué de lo que se hizo. Nadie tiene que explicarme nada más. Y él, menos.

#bg3 spoilers #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #karlach #the emperor

[ezrak]

The Beginner's Guide (2015)

Davey Wreden's narrative game The Beginner's Guide approaches self-identity from an ENFP (Ne-Fe-Ti-Si) perspective. The game is about attempting to understand a person through various game levels they've created, effectively a display of Fe2-Ti3: Using the artistic expressions of a person to reconstruct their identity. The narration is all about "possible meanings" and reading into this person's work. And one of the first lines already (vaguely) points toward NF: "I want us to see past the games themselves. I want to get to know who this human being really is."

As always, I recommend playing the game first before reading this analysis. It's only two hours long, and is one of the few "artistic" video games that actually has something to say.

This video is an excellent analysis of the tricky relationship between "narrator" and "author" in this game, and in case you're not sure about the ending it's a great watch:

Let's start with the basic concepts. The fictionalized ENFP narrator (who I'll refer to as Davey-narrator, to not get confused with the real life author) guides the player through various games created by Coda (which were really created by the real-life Davey). By compiling all of these games, Davey-narrator expects to be able to understand Coda himself.

This sort of "psychological gallery" seems like the result of gTe3→Ti3, transforming the gameplay of each level into various concepts and symbols. The most prominent example is the recurring door puzzle, which Davey-narrator reads as proof that "sooner or later you have to pick up and move". The dark area in the middle is similarly read as "a pause just for a moment [...] to reflect on and let go of the events that lead you here". These two descriptions essentially come from Ne1, which matches Davey-narrator's interest in change and experimentation. He thinks he's the only one who can understand Coda's work, and presents his biased view as authoritarian.

The levels themselves are a sort of freak collage, combining the everyday and the surreal (Si4→gSe4). There's a particular obsession with rearranging everyday objects into different patterns, looking for the "best outcome". For example, the variations on the prison game come from a natural inclination toward exploring all the possibilities (Ne1), then deciding which ones "fit" the best (Fe2). The final prison game that we see, supposedly the "one that works", is a time travel story, a total Si4 thing.

Continuing with the Ne1 theme, Davey-narrator constantly expresses a sense of amazement about Coda's work, and is enthusiastic to show it to others: "when I took your work and I was showing it to people, it felt as though I were responsible for something important and valuable". And Ne1 > Fe2 leads to the attitude of: "I always felt okay as long as I had your work to see myself in". Davey-narrator becomes obsessed with reading his own meanings into people's work, and everything becomes intensely personal. The bits of autobiography we get also point toward ENFP:

"I saw him working on this very level, and it was just so different from anything that anyone else was doing so right away I was like, I have to be friends with this person. In retrospect, I think I was probably a bit too pushy trying to get his attention. I was overenthusiastic. But he was very gracious about it and very patient with me. And I cooled off eventually." There's a clear interest in novelty, and of course the characteristic overenthusiasm.

And that's where the problem lies. After listening to Davey-narrator's ideas for two hours, we begin to realize his flaws. He begins making major assumptions about not just what Coda's trying to express, but about what's happening in his life, particularly his supposed creative frustration, anger, and depression. He takes it on himself to share Coda's work:

"[...] all he needs to do is just start showing his work to people! To get some actual feedback on his games! It might get him out of isolation. As so, I'm thinking this, I realize that I could be the one to initiate it."

"[...] when I took your work and I was showing it to people, it actually felt… It felt as though I were responsible for something important and valuable. And the people who played them, they treated me like I was important! They really listened and cared about what I had to say. ."

He's all about social discovery, helping other people be amazed and "having their minds blown" at the novelty and experimentation of Coda's work. The external validation he gets (Fe2) is so important to him that he almost can't help but share Coda's work.

By the end of the game, Davey-narrator no longer feels like he understands who Coda is. He finally realizes that he's been reading meaning into things he shouldn't be and ignoring everything that doesn't fit, like the three dots. Even more crucially, he admits that he's been modifying the games in significant ways.

Davey-narrator is trying to fit everything cleanly into an ENFP lens: Certain gameplay mechanics (gTe3) that turn into conceptual notions (Ti3) that imply shared values (Fe2). For example, the housecleaning game that conceptually fits the idea of "refuge" or "cleansing", which is parsed by Davey-narrator as "the moment after a difficult experience where you just need to let it sit [...] and eventually cohere into something meaningful". Once the housecleaning portion ends, he mentions that "you have to keep moving, it’s how you stay alive", which fits Ne1. But of course, the housecleaning game actually lasts forever, Davey-narrator just edited it to fit what he expected, what he saw of himself in the game.

Similarly, the stairs game is sped up, the prison section is skipped past, walls and barriers are removed, etc. His impatience changes the meanings of these games, and he transforms the unknown into the possible. But in the end he realizes his mistakes and feels like a failure for not understanding, for losing the validation he thrives upon.

The final section, along with the dramatic apology and the whole notion of "releasing this collection of your work", fits the idea of only feeling social in a market (Ne1 > Fe2). He's more willing to understand Coda through his work rather than through actually talking to him, and ultimately interacts with other people based on something novel and creative he has to offer. Once his ideas about Coda's games stopped mattering, he was cut off socially.

It's very dangerous to type Coda, of course, since we'd be making the same mistake Davey-narrator would be making. It's complicated, of course, by the fact that real-life Davey (also an ENFP) is behind the design of all of these games. Ignoring the work, though, the best guess would be ITJ, likely ISTJ (Ti-Si-Ne-Fe), Davey-narrator's contrary. That would match his ability to keep things to himself, and the ending of the game: "When you finally see what I am talking about: don’t say anything."

The contrary relationship also explains the admiration Davey-narrator has for Coda's work, as it "shows" Davey-narrator what he's trying to access in his unconscious. That could also be why Davey-narrator feels such a strong need to help⁠—Coda's work seems like a real problem to him, and he's willing to do whatever he can.

"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished; that will be the beginning." — Louis L'Amour

#mbti #enfp #davey wreden #the beginner's guide #beginner's guide

[alluringjae]

au cours de l’été - jjh

⤑ translation: over the summer

⤑ summary: this is a story of an exhausted painter who needed a breather from the hectic city life. so aside from moving to the countryside, the needed air in your lungs also came in the form of a person. this summer meant for pure relaxation, perhaps your heart may dive into him too.

⤑ pairing: jaehyun x female reader

⤑ word count: 15.2k (so much for saying that i’ll be writing shorter stories)

⤑ genre: fluff, romance, smut | author!jaehyun, painter!reader, strangers to lovers!au, 50s-60s!au, summer love in france!au

⤑ warnings: me inserting some french phrases because I want to practice (feel free to correct me if I made mistakes, i’ll appreciate them), fictional interpretations of real-life people, explicit language, jaehyun being such a romantic pls im in tears, mentions and scenes of burnout (the worst)

⤑ playlist: everybody loves somebody by dean martin | c’est si bon by eartha kitt | it’s always you by chet baker | les yeux ouverts by emilie-claire barlow | a sunday kind of love by etta james | the most beautiful thing by bruno major | try again by jaehyun and d.ear (duh) | free love (dream edit) by honne | petite fleur by jill barber | plus je t’embrasse by blossom dearie | so this is love by ilene woods and mike douglas

⤑ author’s note: this was an idea that just came to me after pinterest kept recommending me poetic beauty/try again jaehyun, so here we are! i intended to write less than 5k words but sometimes plans don’t go as planned once you really invest in the story yet i’m really happy how this turned out!

the romantic exhilaration in my bones are off the charts because this is jaehyun we’re talking about lol enjoy!

⤑ masterlist

⤑ leave me some feedback, constructive criticism, or hellos!

3 juin 1957

The city life overstimulated your entire system, losing your brainpower and inspiration. Another exhibition that’ll feature your works with other influential painters was happening at the end of the year, and you had nothing prepared so far. You’ve crashed to the deep end of creative fatigue.

So you needed to get away again; somewhere quieter and surrounded by nature.

That’s why you ended up in the countryside down south, somewhere within Provence. It’s purely just for the summer, but extensions were okay as long you get back at least a month before the show. Filing that leave of absence at the studio you worked at was worth it.

You rented an apartment overlooking the marketplace, where the heart of the village was. After arranging things from your boxes and luggage the entire day, you found out that you lacked in the food department.  

So the succeeding day, the entire morning was spent on grocery shopping downstairs then stocking them inside your refrigerator, freezer, and pantry. Right after changing out of your pajamas into a flowy floral dress and sandals, you decided to bike to the bakery that locals suggested. A must-go place for newcomers, they all raved.

“Café des Étoiles Perdues.” (Café of Lost Stars.)

The clear chimes of the bell resounded through the small, cottage-like lobby as you entered inside. An old woman, whom you assumed was the owner, welcomed you openly.

“Oh la la, vous êtes belle! Vous vous appelez (Y/N), la nouvelle venue, n'est-ce pas?” (Oh la la, you’re beautiful. Your name is (Y/N), the newcomer, right?)

She complimented, making you shyly mutter your answer. Wiping off the flour from her apron, she introduced herself kindly.

“Je m’appelle Camille. Mes spécialités sont les macarons pisctaches et des croissants avec des amandes. Autre chose que tu aimes?” (I’m Camille. My specialties are the pistachio macarons and croissants with almonds. Is there anything else you like?)

“J'aime tout ce que vous suggères, Madame.” (I’d like anything that you suggest, Madame.)

A younger man, who went by Jaemin, was a part-timer barista who asked for your coffee order. As he directed you to the best seat of the café, which was outside overlooking the garden of blooming sunflowers, you pulled out your sketch pad so you could capture this dreamy view. It was nothing like you’ve ever seen in your life.

You’ve decided on a theme already for your exhibit thanks to your conversations with locals yesterday, which was related to freedom. After being chained to cities for so-called better living and financial standards, it’s actually how your inspiration to create squeezed the life out of you like a lemon. Although it was fun at first to see those tourist spots, it eventually got tiring.

Another matchstick to graze intensity through your bones was what you prayed for.

While you’re engaged in a rough sketch of the scenery, the dandy presence of a young man entered the café with his books. White shirt, red trousers with a matching beret, he sported freckles on his pale face. Despite visiting his favorite café numerously, Camille was overjoyed to see him and his serene smiles.

“Jaehyun! What brings you here?”

“Bonjour, Madame! I’m starving for your croissants because I ran out back home.”

“Not to worry! I’ll pack up some so you’re on your way.” She lightened him up like one of her kids, taking one of the bigger paper bags.

“No rush though, Madame. I’ll be reading and working here for a bit here.” Jaehyun affirmed, bringing it out his wallet and called out for Jaemin.

“Un café crème, s’il vous plait.” (One cup of cappuccino, please.)

Jaehyun’s usual chair was by the large window, overseeing the wide garden planted by the citizens of the village way before he was born. It was places like this he missed after moving to the city for his education and work’s sake. 

That’s the thing when you’re coming from a rich family; you don’t have much of say with what your parents order you to do. However, his recent request to stay in his childhood home (or mansion) again was fulfilled because he couldn’t search for what he needed in the cities anymore.

Jaehyun was a sucker for romance; an old romantic others would say. A lot of women mistook his kindness as flirting on many occasions, but ironically he just wasn’t looking for anyone yet. 

Starting as a novelist in the said genre based on real-life stories of people he met in Paris, Barcelona, London, and more, his stories were popular hits especially to young adults who aspire to find love one day.

However, traveling to the known places no longer felt fun as he got older. The stories he gathered were very similar, just in different languages. It took an enthusiastic dinner with his family, specifically his only older sister Krystal retelling fond stories from their younger years to get the idea of moving back for a bit. So consumed with the city life, he wanted to see things from another perspective.

What was the difference between a love story formed in the countryside than in the city?

It’s been a month since he arrived, but he didn’t hurry himself to do his research. He’s been reading books in his family library, revisiting monumental places, exploring around the village, and reconnecting with old friends as if he never left. 

Readjusting to his former life would make writing easier when he’s motivated enough to do it again. Besides, his books were profiting well enough to his taste; good enough for the next 10 years according to his personal accountant, Kim Jungwoo.

Jaehyun resumed reading this book his mother recommended him before he left. Entitled “Réessaye”, which was about a young man who reunites with his childhood sweetheart after his arranged marriage failed. After what she put her through, he’s hesitant whether to try again or let her go.

Jaehyun enjoyed reading books with realistic outlooks on love because he found them more meaningful, enlightening how exactly it makes you feel and do. Even if he enjoyed reading sappy, fairytale-like stories from time to time, he always returned to the real ones as they only displayed the truth.

That love isn’t always rainbows and sunshine, but something that can also break you especially if you go after the wrong person. This kind of mindset was how he toiled on his stories, which gained him a status outside of his unavoidable labels such as “the only striking son of the Jeong family” or “Valentine Boy”.

He diligently browsed through the climax, where the main male character confessed all his constrained emotions to his sweetheart. But it was until Jaemin pressed the bag of croissants in front of his face after placing down his childhood friend’s drink to disturb his peace.

“Reading again?” He taunted, snatching his book away and throwing the bag on Jaehyun’s lap. “When are you writing that book already? Everyone is practically dying for you to release something new again!”

Jaehyun flatly shook his head, drinking his coffee quietly. It’s not the first time anyone asked (or pressured) him about his next release, and it’s the last thing he wanted to think about. “Not in the mood right now, Jaemin. Now off to work before Madame Camille scolds you again.”

“You’re just stalling because you have nothing to write, don’t you?” Jaemin cunningly expressed, raising a brow. He’s known to catch onto the people’s bs easily; the last person you’d want to say your secrets too and Jaehyun realized too late. Though lucky for him, Jaemin shut the topic down right away so he wouldn’t pop a vein.

“Sais-tu de la nouvelle venue dans le village, d'ailleurs?” (Do you know about the newcomer in the village, by the way?)

“Une nouvelle venue?” (A newcomer?)

Being stuck at his mansion recently, news about village affairs were now late to him. Jaemin’s finger discreetly pointed outside the window, pertaining to a young woman sat outside painting her view in front of her.

That would be you, shading all the flowers in bright colors.

Seeing a new face amazed Jaehyun, especially when she was almost someone right out of a book. In a neat bun with white daisies printed in her dress, she crossed her legs whilst continuing her movements. She bit her lower lip, frustrated over an accidental smudge she made and trying to fix it by blending it with another color. When she accomplished it, she swapped brushes. A thinner one, to outline the shapes of the flower. Her lips curved to a smile after finishing another one perfectly with the rest.

“Jaehyun?”

Jaemin snapped his fingers to his distracted friend, zoning out the window. Still something he hasn’t stop doing, he pondered. With a final snap, Jaehyun broke away from falling hard from his abstract. Jaemin calculated the problem so quickly, analyzing his friend breezily like his medical school requirements.

“Elle est splendide, n'est-ce pas?” (She’s gorgeous, right?)

“Elle ressemble à une personne décente.” (She looks like a decent person.)

Jaehyun pushed it aside, flipping back to the page where he stopped reading. Before Jaemin responded, the door chimed open again to alarm him that a new customer came in. He excused himself to his friend, warning him that this wasn’t the last time he’ll talk about the newcomer too.

Jaehyun nodded along, not taking his friend’s cheeky words so seriously. However, the final result you attempted to create tickled his curiosity, so he slyly peeked from his book to the window.

You’ve freed your hair down, victorious to have started your collection this early in your break. A fantastic start, you let the paint dry first and munch on the croissant that served as your reward. However, you ‘re quick to notice a manly figure glancing through the window. From the side, his brown eyes appeared lively even if his entire face was hidden by the book.

Réessaye by Mark Lee; he must be a romantic. Every person in your studio read it, excluding yourself. Painfully beautiful, they’d summarize it.

Daring to meet more people, you locked eye contact with him. He didn’t expect it, almost flipping from his chair. Bashfully, you waved him a hello to somewhat break the ice. However, it broke his composure, and suddenly, he scurried off with his things from the café.

Now, you got quite worried. You checked your tiny mirror if he saw anything unpleasant with you, but you’d say you look relatively fine. Oh, maybe you could redeem yourself the next time you saw him. After bidding goodbye to Camille and Jaemin, the latter chased after you when you prepared yourself on your bike.

“By any chance, did you say hi to a guy with brown eyes and a red beret?”

“Well, more like I waved at him, then he zoomed out. Did I do something wrong?” You questioned with concern, putting your hands on the handles.

“That’s my friend, who’s quite reserved with strangers. I’m sorry on his behalf.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” You brushed it off politely. “See you again soon, Jaemin!”

Peddling away, letting the cool breeze fan you, your mind reverted its thoughts to that strange man. Maybe you’ll give it some time; you had a lot of it.

“Shucks, he was pretty cute.”

12 juin 1957

The world must really be on your side with these good decisions because you crossed paths with the strange man again in the café a week later. But instead of running away, he asked nicely if he could sit across your free chair in front of your table outside. It was a Saturday, and the place was packed.

“Joignez-moi, s’il vous plait.” (Join me, please.)

You insisted, giving yourself time to subtly observe his physique a lot more. Freckles dotted under his eyes like a constellation, bushy eyebrows, pink cheeks to match his pale complexion, and wearing a fuzzy knit sweater that meshed well with his green beret. He had some sort of necklace too; there was a heart pendant.

“Vous êtes une artiste.” (You’re an artist.) The small wooden palette of paint beside your small sketch pad was exposed, finding it as a great icebreaker.

“Une peintre, spécifiquement. Franchement, les visuels ici sont trés captivants qu'à Paris.” (A painter, to be specific. Frankly, the visuals here are more captivating than in Paris.)

“Je suis d’accord,” (I agree,) Jaehyun leaned against his chair, taking a better look at you with the remaining light from the descending sun.

“Oh, vous êtes comme moi. J’habite à Paris aussi.” (Oh, you’re like me. I live in Paris too.)

“Bon, je suis née à Londres. Puis, j’ai déménagé où je voulais en Europe depuis j'avais 18 ans. Mais oui, j’habite définitivement à Paris maintenant.” (Well, I was born in London then moved wherever I wanted in Europe for inspiration since I was 18. But yes, I live permanently in Paris now.)

You clarified, beginning to enjoy his comforting company. Initiating conversations with people you’re not acquainted with wasn’t in your range of skills, though he didn’t have an intimidating vibe. He looked too youthful to act like that.

“Je m’appelle (Y/N), d'ailleurs.” (I’m (Y/N), by the way.) You stuck out your hand as a sign of respect, which he enthusiastically obliged.

“Salut, (Y/N). Je m’appelle Jaehyun.” [Hi, (Y/N). I’m Jaehyun.]

He kissed it in a gentleman fashion, applying the manners he’s been taught since he was a child. Should you have been flustered, but no.  It’s been a long time since anyone greeted you like that, specifically back home.

Throughout your talk, you learned more about who he was, his job, and what his life in the countryside is like. He was an author of romance novels, yet you’ve never heard about him prior. Heavily prioritizing your work, you don’t keep up with the new releases or trends at all. Though after mentioning his last name, it piqued your interest.

“Jeong? As in the business, Jeong Tea Inc.?”

“Correct.”

His family was one of the most affluent families in Parisian society. Old money immigrants from South Korea, they brought their tea business to France and it boomed successfully. You’re quite sure you’ve seen his parents in past exhibits, but never did you approach them because you were a rookie then. But he reassured you that it was fine, and to just treat him like you’d treat your friends. Plus, it came to your knowledge that he was the same age as you too.

He opened up how this village was where he lived his childhood, so he asked his parents if he could hand over their mansion for a while for rest. It then shocked both of you at how identical your reasons were for staying in the countryside.

“I’m burnt out from the city, so I’m trying to regain my spirit here hopefully. Besides, I needed a change of scenery after living there for 3 years. My longest stay yet outside of London!”

“I need new ideas for my books. The cities don’t charm me anymore, so I returned here for peace and quiet. Maybe let these ideas come to me rather than me going after them.”

From a bigger lens, people would conclude your interaction as a sight of two artists who passionately talk about their art. But to you, you’d interpret it as two relaxed, young adults in their twenties who simply wanted to run away from the pressures of their art and enjoy the summer as every young adult should.

Not cooped up in the studio or office, but innocently waltzing around with your youth while it’s still there.

début de juillet 1957

“Dépêche-toi, (Y/N)!” [Hurry up, (Y/N)!]

Jaehyun yelled at your open balcony from downstairs, parking his mini car beside your bike. He planned on taking you somewhere a little farther this time; to absolutely feel like one of the locals.

The countryside urged you to wear more dresses and flat shoes, so you took out a turquoise dress with a white scarf to wrap on top of your head. Like your relaxed fit, your mindset too was calm. Upon meeting him, he wore his round spectacles with a red knit sweater over a white turtleneck long-sleeved top. His fingers were adorned with silver rings, then around his neck was a thin black ribbon. He curled some of his hair again, a style you really liked of his.

You can’t lie, but this man could pull any trend or style and still look extra pretty.

Out of all the locals you’ve befriended in your stay, Jaehyun was always your companion. He took you to varying places that those locals don’t visit nor tourists acknowledge in their reviews for the past few weeks. For someone who hasn’t been in the village for a long time, his memory didn’t disappoint. His childhood was only filled with cheerful moments.

Today, he was taking you to a peaceful district of shops in the farther part of the village. It’s where he’d buy sweets, journals, and accessories with his mother, Krystal, and one of his housemaids every other weekend.

All the stores there were currently bombarded with blooming flowers along their alley, bringing more enticement to those who were roaming around. There was so much life here; the head waiter of one restaurant smiling at every passing customer, one florist handing a free flower to anyone who asks, and a young lady showcasing her jewelry collection to a bunch of women who looked like tourists.

“Cette librairie vendent des livres enveloppés dans du papier. Ma mère m'a offerte l'un d'eux pour mon anniversaire tous les ans comme une surprise.” (This bookstore sells books wrapped in paper. My mother gifted me one of them on my birthday every year as a surprise.)

He trained his attention at a rustic shop with open wooden windows giving a glimpse of their shelves.

“Avez-vous fini les lisant?” (Have you finished reading them?)

“Du début à la fin.” (From cover to cover.)

He took you to this rooftop restaurant overlooking the entire plaza. Since he didn’t arrange a reservation yet didn’t get rejected, he must know the owner. Especially how a lot of the staff gave casual hellos and high fives.

Speaking of the owner, he walked out of his kitchen to introduce himself to you. He went by the name Moon Taeil, another one of Jaehyun’s childhood friends whom he used to play at his house whenever his parents came along.

Gobbling up in the appetizing food Taeil prepared beforehand, Jaehyun brought up your painting exhibition again. He loved hearing artists talk about their works, wanting to know more about their driven mindset and what their imagination is like. After all, it does vary for everyone.

“So far,” You poked your fork through the chicken, taking a bite of it. “I’ve produced 3 paintings. The garden of flowers outside Café des Étoiles Perdues, the kids playing hopscotch in the alley, and the peach tree outside your house.”

“Woah, you’re on a roll.” Jaehyun clapped across you, pouring you another glass of water. He recalled the nights you ranted not having any clue what to do for the exhibit. Then after taking you to more places, he’s rewarded to see you be creatively active again. “How many artworks do you left to make?”

“Around 3-4 left. I have ideas already, but I’m still brainstorming.” You internally rejoiced, loving how much progress you’ve made. “How about you, Jaehyun? How’s your progress?”

Unlike you, Jaehyun still felt stuck. Although he did find couples around the village, none of them intrigued him as much as his past stories. But he won’t give up easily; that’s not in his work ethic.

“Still searching, but I’ll get there.”

Recently, you got ahold of some of Jaehyun’s books from him personally since they weren’t sold in the village. You wanted to understand how he became so well known outside the labels people put him under. Reading his first novel entitled “Des Papillons” (Butterflies), it was about a couple separated during World War II without contact or knowledge about their well-being. Yet whenever they saw butterflies on the day they parted, they took it as a sign that the other was alive wherever they were.

You’re always hanging on the cliff when the scenes revert back and forth to the main male lead getting stuck in intense war scenarios, rooting for him to get out alive each time. In the end, it took 7 years before they were reunited and wed.

Jaehyun had a wonderful way with his words and descriptions, managing to enwrap you in as if you’re also a character in the book. Like how you rooted for that male lead, you’re rooting for him to find his spark again.

Following this uplifting conversation, Jaehyun finally took to your greatly anticipated spot. It was the main viewpoint of Gordes, one of the most beautiful hilltop villages in the country. The sunset was about to hit, and the lights from the city across you slowly turned on like a bunch of dominos.

As you marveled at its aesthetics, Jaehyun leaned against the hood of his car. He sensed how in awe you were, more than you ever were in the city he assumed. So used to the city that being surrounded with nature became foreign to you.

He took out his polaroid camera from his trunk and captured a photo of you from behind. The shutter sounds were obvious, turning your back at the commotion. Jaehyun fanned the freshly printed photo to dry, giving a mischievous smile.

“What can I say? While you’re fawning over the view, mine was more enamoring.”

Although Jaehyun felt overwhelmed the first time he locked eyes with you, he can’t resist the power of his developing feelings for you. The more time he took you around, the more his heart found different details about you to admire. After listening to all those love stories in the past, the people he spoke to shared how there will be some distinct moment where your heart decides who they’re longing for.

That exact view of you by the cliff, he already knew.

He’s infatuated by you.

“Tu es très ringard, Jaehyun.” (You’re so cheesy, Jaehyun.) You scoffed sassily, with a hand on your waist.

“Un gentleman ne ment jamais, (Y/N). Allez, il fait nuit maintenant.” [A gentleman never lies, (Y/N). Come on, it’s night already.]

He cleverly responded, grabbing his car keys from his pocket. The trip back to the village was energizing, putting down the roof of his car to relish the chill breeze of the night weather. You even raised your arms in the air, losing your scarf even from the speed Jaehyun went at!

The two of you belted along to the songs on the radio when the fields were the only ones surrounding you, no neighbors to shout at your rambunctiousness.

The late-night hours drew by so quickly almost like dinner with more of Jaehyun’s friends didn’t happen. Arriving at the front doors of your apartment complex, Jaehyun raced over to your side to open your door. Always maintained proper observation of manners, you appreciated that side of him. Rarely anyone in Paris that you’ve encountered treated you that way because you were a foreigner.

“Bonsoir, (Y/N).” [Goodnight, (Y/N).]

“Bonsoir, Jaehyun. Quand est-ce que je te revois?” (Goodnight, Jaehyun. When can I see you again?)

“Demain et après-demain. Appelle-moi quand tu es libre.” (Tomorrow, and the day after that. Just give me a call when you’re free.)

With a short wave, you entered your building and marched up to the stairs. A good day only meant being tired to the core, ready to crash and fall in your soft bed. Opening your wide windows to let more of the cool breeze in, your eyes easily caught Jaehyun’s classy car still there. As for the owner, he didn’t move an inch from his leaning position.

“Rentre à la maison, Jaehyun! C’est tard!” (Go home, Jaehyun! It’s late!) You shrieked, peeking side to side to make sure none of the neighbors scold you.

Jaehyun laughed wholeheartedly, not budging at all. “La nuit ne fait que commencer, ma chérie.” (The night has just begun, my darling.)

“Comment tu m'as appelé?” (What did you call me?)

Either your ears were fooling you or he addressed you by a divine pet name. The gasp you swallowed, as your entire body tingled with exhilaration. Your mind would simply disregard it like his former teasing words, but your heart begged to differ.

Rather than responding with words, Jaehyun’s voice serenaded you with a wondrous song, C’est Si Bon by Eartha Kitt, that played on the radio earlier. Out of the blue, a random guitar accompaniment followed his baritone vocals.

“En voyant notre mine ravie,”

Against the railing of your wired balcony, your body shifted forward to watch him better.

“Les passants dans la rue, nous envient,”

Your hand perched on your cheek, admiring his talent.

“C'est si bon de guetter dans ses yeux,”

It was like a lullaby, and here you were drowning in its peacefulness. Sensing the passion he gives off in his singing, your heart couldn’t refrain the strings inside from being swayed and tugged.

This was your moment of realization: that you too were smitten.

“Un espoir merveilleux, qui donne le frisson…”

À la mi-juillet de 1957

“Hello, nature!” You greeted brightly as your legs raced the huge garden in his manor. It was the first time he invited you over, too lazy to go out of the city. His social battery needed a recharge for the weekend, so a picnic within his home would do the trick. Additionally, it was an excuse to bring you over after the numerous times you’ve begged him to.

Jaehyun merely shook his head, enjoying the rush of childlike fun in your veins while you squealed and grazed your hands through the flowers.

He carried a wooden basket full of treats his family maids cooked, taking his time to venture through the rows of flowers. They were growing healthily and phenomenally these days, sometimes riding his bike to personally water them since he became busy with writing again. Lately, he found inspiration again, and so he wrote day and night to set them free.

“Voila!” You yanked out a sunflower, sniffing it a little. “Come on, Jaehyun! Pick up a few for our lunch!”

He followed your order, picking out some he found ideal. But just for fun, he put down the basket and carried you from behind out of the blue. You tried kicking him away, but his muscular arms can’t compete with your soft ones.

“What are you doing?”

“You said to pick up a flower, so I did. The prettiest of them all.”

His flirtatious words were never serious, yet you took it as a compliment. That’s how high your confidence is. Only we define our own worth, not others. The two of you chatted more about your lives until the first rain of the season poured down, chilling down from the raging heat. None of you had an umbrella; the weather was too unpredictable.

Deciding to just run for it, he gave you the wooden basket to protect yourself whilst he used the blanket you’ve sat on. Running with laughter to return to his mansion in the muddy dirt, the cool drops shivered your figure yet felt fantastic.

If you were in the city, you’d panic because it’d mess your appearance and your boss would be infuriated by your unprofessionalism. But in the countryside, it didn’t matter at all. The condition of the rain wasn’t budging to improve, getting stronger by the minute. His entire house even lost power, his housemaids having to bring candles to his bedroom and your assigned one once night dawned.

It was hopeless to return home for you, plus it’s dangerous to drive in in the dark, narrow streets too. Jaehyun handed you some of his fresh clothes so you’d be free from flinching from cold dress sticking to your body.

“Get dressed and some sleep, (Y/N).”

Nodding, you excused yourself to find the bathroom. You’d assume it’d be easy, but this was your first time in his house; a mansion even. Doors from left to right, long corridors that seemed never-ending, no maids were within the vicinity whom you can ask for guidance.

Resorting to return to Jaehyun’s chamber for help, you were taken aback by what your eyes laid on. In front of his full mirror, he discarded his now-dried shirt. Even with the dim lighting, you could make out that he was fit by the transparent view of his abdomen. Peeping like this was wrong, yet you couldn’t turn away just yet. The heat in your cheeks was inevitable, finding composure in such an unholy sight.

Though a gear in you suddenly twisted; a gear that straightened your nerves. You’re taking a bold move on the chessboard of your feelings. Wholly opening his bedroom door again, you leisurely sauntered inside without warning.

“Oh, (Y/N)! Ne peux pas trouver la salle de bain?” (Oh, (Y/N)! Can’t find the bathroom?)

Unbothered as he stood shirtless, you on the other hand silently dropped his clothes on the floor. Holding intense eye contact, your fingers graciously unzipped the side of your dress. Inch by inch, the tension built up like the strong tiny flames lit on the candles around you two. Joining the pile of clothes, all that remained were your white lace undergarments. Unplanned for the get-go, it’s the ideal set for your earlier outfit at the picnic.

“Je me suis perdue, mais je pense avoir trouvé quelque chose de mieux.” (I got lost, but I think I found something better.)

Your fingers grazed your arm up to your collarbones, faking your naivety. From your lust-filled stare, the glint in Jaehyun’s eyes darkened. He gulped at the revealing sight of you, brushing his hair back to restrain himself.

None of you could utter a single word, only the vivacious rain being the only sounds ringing around you. Thus, you allowed your actions to pursue precisely what you desired to do.

Taking baby steps towards him to test the waters, he met you right in the center and closed the leftover space. His hands cradled your face, whilst yours clung to his chest. His lips tasted like red wine, watching him pour in a glass for himself earlier. He did offer, yet you declined.

Your tongue darted his lower lip, gaining access after. Sensing the edge of his bed, you plopped yourself down the cushion. His knee urged your legs to widen, letting his body slide in. From your face, his fingers lowered to the back of your bra, snapping the clasps open.

“It takes skill to accomplish that in one try, Jaehyun.”

“I lived in Paris too, ma chérie. You out of all people would understand and have the experience.”

His palms massaged your freed breasts, throwing your head back even more to his pillows as his lips ravaged down from your stomach until the fabric of your not-so pure panties.

“Call me that again, please.”

“Ma chérie, seras-tu mienne?” (My darling, will you be mine?) He kissed and licked the tiny ribbon in front repeatedly, where your now-swollen clit laid. It electrified your bones, pulling on to his ruffled hair.

“Tu peux m'avoir.” (You can have me.)

Sex in the form of one-night stands were all you’ve invested; upcoming artists like you weren’t capable to maintain long-term relationships. Les plans à trois even if you’re extra freaky or drunk from the afterparties of your events. All that these occurrences had in common were not seeing those men ever again after sneaking out of their apartments in the morning.

This time, it’s different.

When they said that doing the deed with someone you’re romantically entangled with was more special, they didn’t bluff. You could plan bits of your life, but it can sometimes change aspects of it when you least expect it. Sometimes for the best or the worst, but right now, it went beyond your expectations.

It’s rewarding that the man you’ve slowly fallen for within your stay returned your affections.

Around late 3 am that night, your brain jolted with artistic ideas that awoken your sonorous rest. There are no hopes of sleeping them off because they tend to bother you for hours until you do something about it. But you’re already so cozy having Jaehyun’s arms around you, skin to skin under the duvet. His lips daunted right above your forehead, recalling his endless kisses there that helped you fall asleep.

Well, these ideas don’t work themselves unless you do. Untangling him tactfully, you stepped out of the blanket and wore one of his long white shirts he gave you earlier before pulling out your sketchpad and palette of oil paints.

Luckily, there was still one available candle to use as the rest have melted indefinitely. You slid the matchstick again to the sand surface, boring a flame from the friction which you placed on top of the wick.

All your ideas that night leaned towards one thing, or person rather: Jaehyun.

You spent a few minutes retracing how he vividly looked at the picnic, leaning back from the chair of his work desk. His outfit of a turquoise turtleneck underneath a white button-top with trousers matching the said turtleneck looked good together, how his ears tingled red after you complimented his newfound inspiration for his book, and the prominent veins in his arms when he rolled his sleeves due to the heat.

The thin brush you held defined the shape of his face, then paying attention to the messy strands of his hair. Stroking in a circular way to outline his eyelids, a hoarse grunt disturbed the peaceful silence.

“Get back in bed, ma chérie.” His eyes drowsily opened, lying on his side. The moment he no longer felt your warmth, he worried something happened. Instead, you’re working late at night after quite a rough yet romantic night.

“Shush,” You shunned him down with your index finger. “Give me a few more minutes.”

“Perhaps, are you painting me?” He hunched from the covers. “Your eyes looking back and forth would never lie to me, would they?”

“Maybe…” You teased, batting your eyes at him without any risky intentions. Or not?

He deeply chuckled, sluggishly removing himself under the covers. In his pure nudity, he advanced himself towards you. You shrieked, covering yourself with your free hand.

“Jaehyun, stay back! I told you I’ll be there soon!”

Not listening, he carried your bridal style, making you drop your precious palette to the fur rug. Laying you carefully, he popped each button open. By the sight of his cock hardening again, you knew you were in for another round with him.

“Wet again, ma chérie? Oh, this will be fun.”

Fin de juillet 1957

So this kind of summer romance concept that everyone fantasized about… it became your present.

Together you’d stroll in the smaller streets and immerse yourselves in the unique culture of the village. Whenever anyone saw you together, holding hands, biking, or what-not, they’d praise in the name of love for bringing you both together. A romance like yours in the countryside was a lively sight.

Remember how extensions were a possibility if your search for inspiration wasn’t found? Well, it’s not a question that you’d make one, except inspiration found you instead. And he had one arm around you as he slow danced with you in the open grounds of the village, listening to the live band covering song classics.

In particular, Chet Baker. He was Jaehyun’s favorite artist at the moment.

There was an ongoing week-long festival dedicated to summer, giving more plants their bloom and spreading gratitude to the hardworking people. Especially the students, off on their break.

The faint radiance from the post lights as Jaehyun swayed you around, making you laugh as he tried to mumble the lyrics of the song. All those glasses of wine he tried earlier with you from the bartender offering it for free had its effects, and you weren’t off the hook from them either.

Blisters started to form from your ankles, adjusting to the new pair of heels Jaehyun gave (or insisted to buy) you a while ago after staring at them like lasers. You’ve always provided things for yourself that being spoiled by someone else felt weird to you.

“If there’s anything you want me to buy for you, just tell me.”

“How can I buy you if you’re already mine?”

His smooth talk often made you punch his shoulder, but it’s just a mechanism to hide the exhilaration.

Under each other’s spells in your dance, you laid your head on Jaehyun’s chest. Feeling the strong beat of his heart, you were reminded of how much life he’s filled with. And you became a part of it, in the same way he crossed yours.

Jaehyun’s lips sank to the top of your head, pecking it affectionately. The first-ever summer where he wasn’t stuck at his desk working or drinking his life away with his rich friends in their Parisian homes, it couldn’t get better than this.

“Oiii! Flirtez ailleurs!” (Oiii! Flirt somewhere else!) The distinct voice of Jaemin, handing out pastries to passersby, shouted at the both of you, making you flip your middle finger at him.

“Trouve une copine d’abord, d’accord?!” (Find a girlfriend first, alright?!) You shouted back jokingly, almost falling due to the ache of your feet. Your immodest behavior was censored by Jaehyun’s large palms, not wanting the kids around to see it. Whispering closely to your ear,

��Tu es ivre. Laisse-moi te ramener chez toi.” (You’re drunk. Let me take you home.)

You changed back into your sandals as Jaehyun led you through the different alleys. Your vision was too hazy to navigate, so he had one arm wrapped around your shoulders. The weather grew cold too, shivering your bones so he draped you in his blazer.

“Wait,” You stopped, making him do the same. But before he could ask for your reason, your hands yanked him by his suspenders and your legs walked backward to reach the brick wall. Standing in his 5’11 glory, you were overpowered.

Yet your lips captured his effortlessly, raising to your toes to press yourself closer to him. He moved fast, one arm hugging your waist while the other hoisted your leg up. Tangling around his waist, the urge to move your hips against his crotch couldn’t be contained any longer.

Everyone was probably still out at this time or sleeping. The sloppy sounds you’ve produced were beyond suitable for any audience. Not to mention, the nasty words Jaehyun’s pretty mouth spoke in your ears desired you to fall to your knees.

“Not afraid of getting caught, ma chérie? You want me to ruin you right here, right now?”

“God, Jaehyun,” Your hands tugged his belt forward, the friction it gave to your core twitched the naughty side out of you. “Do it, please.”

The idea of public sex thrilled your mind into overdrive, yet you’ve never done it. In Paris, a city where several people started to know your name, you didn’t need a scandal to be plastered in your resume yet.

Jaehyun himself included, and still opted not to give it to you.

“Another time, ma chérie. Your apartment, now.”

The moment you unlocked your apartment door, Jaehyun was far from gentle like in the mansion. Ripping you out of your frilly dress didn’t take long, so was unbuttoning his trousers down to the floor.

On your knees, his hand gave you a makeshift ponytail as your tongue flicked the slit of his cock. Then slowly taking him inch by inch on your mouth, you’d let out a loud pop when you needed to breathe. Your hands fondling his balls, he groaned from the edge of your bed and tightened his hold on you. Tears formulated in your eyes as you got to swallow him whole, uncontrollably bobbing your head.

He felt like putty when he released, your throat taking the salty base. You hastily unhooked your bra in front of him when suddenly, his hand flicked on the fabric of your panties, cueing you to stop your motion.

“Keep them on when you ride me.”

Straddling on his lap, his head laid against the headboard of his bed. His arms roaming around your back to stabilize you, your fingers pushed your panties to the side as you pushed yourself down his protected length. Your moans became shaky. Up and down, you bounced while bracing on his shoulders.

Against his ear, your moans were harmonious. His hips moved against your beat, hitting your g-spot like the sexual ace he is. His thumb rubbing your clit, you shuttered your eyes at the impending high approaching you like a bus.

“I’m close.” You choked out, the overstimulation overwhelming your nerves.

“Fuck, me too.” He grunted, slapping your butt that made you shriek.

Soon enough, everything hit you both all at once. The knot snapped, and so did your body falling on his chest after a single scream. Panting, Jaehyun pecked on your temple as his cock softened up. Once you returned to your senses, you lifted yourself from his length, laying bare beside him.

His eyes started to fall, but before they did, he muttered huskily. “Je t’aime, (Y/N).”

It was the first time he’s said those words in the way they meant, and he’s more than certain that it’s what he felt with you. Sure, it started as mutual infatuation, but now, it can’t leave. Not on his watch.

Love was a concept unfamiliar to you, but Jaehyun slowly taught you what it was and how it felt like. Books and films may give sneak peeks, but to personally give and receive it back was made possible by him.

From this moment on, you could conclude that yes, you reciprocated it.

“Je t’aime aussi, Jaehyun.”

16 octobre 1957

Autumn made its way to the countryside.

The leaves switched into red-brown shades, the weather in the south was warmer, and the wine harvest was highly anticipated. Jaehyun’s camera was a common item in your outings, taking as many photos as he could so the two of you had something to look back on.

Planned and candid, his range was wide. These were moments that proved that your youth was as happy as you wished it to be. You wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

Painting in his mansion was a regular thing, having new canvases prepared at his patio. There were so many items that amused you there like you could base your entire collection on his home. It’s not like Jaehyun could argue; it meant more time with you whenever you came over.

“Jaehyun, if you smudge paint on me, so help me Go-” He refused to listen to your “threats”, smearing black paint on your cheek.

“You were saying?” He cockily pestered, showcasing his paint-filled fingers. You dipped one of your brushes into the new paint and chased after him without hesitation. The entire evening became a paint war, a laugh fit even after seeing your reflections in the mirror. But before you could clean yourself, Jaehyun’s camera was by your face and he pressed the button.

“Still breathtaking.”

But the middle of the season arrived, that’s where your planned extension you’ve reached its end. The exhibit was next month, getting calls from your boss regarding your return and the paintings you’ll present. You informed her that you already had them mailed to your studio way back, so there’s nothing much to worry about.

All your bags were packed in the private car Jaehyun rented. Here, you’re bidding your goodbyes to every friend you’ve made outside the doors of your apartment complex, saving your last words with Jaehyun.

The night before, he stayed over and helped you pack your last items in luggage bags. He even brought extra clothes for you so you wouldn’t work extra. You’ve talked it out the whole evening through what happens next to ease your worries. In your bed, he opened the wide windows and pulled you under the sheets.

“Write to me.”

“Call me when you’re free, or whenever you feel like it.”

Leaning against the railing of the stairs, watched the sorrow in your face over this parting. He sensed how bittersweet everything was, but he wouldn’t change anything about it. He’s positive that your story won’t end here, not right now.

Sauntering to him, you sighed whilst taking your bag he held the whole time from him. His touch was tighter as the two of you hugged tenderly, nuzzling his head on your shoulder. The scent of his citrus cologne that implanted in your brain felt comforting, despite the uncertainty of everything between you.

You hinted a minty taste from the menthol candies from his home as his lips brushed yours, colliding it timely. He waited when everyone left, relishing these last seconds.

Stepping inside the vehicle, you waved your summer love farewell one more time before the driver hit the pedal. Your eyes couldn’t stray away from looking back, the distance between him and your former apartment widening. Only when he was no longer in the frame, you shifted your focus back in front.

Your fingers fiddled with the charm bracelet he gifted you from the market. It was custom-made by a jeweler who was great friends with his mother in his younger years. There were two pendants chained on it: a paintbrush and the sun.

“A paintbrush to remind you of your passion, and the sun to remind you of the summer we first met.”

The man was like one of his romance books, in human form. He knew how to catch your breath effortlessly.

Your stay, for now, may have concluded, but there was always next summer. And the ones after that. The village felt like a second home, one you can’t neglect like the other places you’ve lived. Then having Jaehyun here, the more reasons to return.

Undoubtedly the best vacation you’ve ever been in your adult years, one that didn’t sacrifice for your art so you could compete with other artists. The weight on your chest poofed into thin air, and you felt ready for what the next steps as a painter were.

Appreciating the greenery you passed by, you peeked over the side mirror of the car only to find Jaehyun quickly biking in your direction.

Now, what was he up to?

You instantly requested the driver to slow down his pace, rolling down the window of the car. Not caring about the strong winds, “You fool, what are you doing?!”

Although he trusted your last words, he had the greed to see your face again. It would be a long time until he’ll see you in person again. So he pedaled as fast he could to still reach you. Oh, the things you do when you’re in love.

“Mon cœur bat la chamade pour toi, (Y/N)!” [My heart beats loudly for you, (Y/N)!]

You giggled at his silliness, throwing out flying kisses.

“Je reviendrai bientôt, Jaehyun!” (I’ll come back soon, Jaehyun!)

21 octobre 1957

Only your friends at the studio gave you a warm welcome back, receiving comments like “get back to work” from your first encounter with your boss. Popping a champagne glass open after work hours on the rooftop of your studio, they interrogated you with all the questions they could think of.

“So this village in Provence…. was it beautiful as the tourists said?” Ten, who moved from his home in Thailand to Paris at a young age, expressed his curiosity whilst leaning against the railing overlooking the Eiffel Tower.

“Beautiful is an understatement, Ten. I miss it dearly!” You heaved a sigh, twirling your glass.

“So this inspiration you were looking for…” Amélie, your dear friend since your university days, created some tension as she prolonged her last word. Playfulness twinkled in her eyes, crossing her legs. “Was a person involved by any chance?”

For a moment, your throat almost gagged on the sizzling alcohol going down.

“What do you mean?” You acted clueless, pouring your now empty glass with more booze. But the moment Ten gave you the troublesome look coordinating with Amélie, you already knew you wouldn’t hear the end of it. These two were such gossips in and out of the studio.

Ten took the seat across you on the table and leaked all his pent-up information.

“So you know Seo Youngho, the only son of the Seo family. Rich, socialite, a total hotshot… yeah, all that jazz.” He dived in, seeing you nod over knowing that man. Someone in the past you’ve slept with, but that’s another story. “Well, Amelie and I attended one of his parties at his large penthouse. He had his usual crowd there; Kim Doyoung, Lee Taeyong, Nakamoto Yuta, and Lee Minhyung. But fun fact: there’s another member in that friend group who doesn’t go to these kinds of events.”

“Here’s where it gets interesting,” Amélie excitedly took off like the pipelette (chatterbox) she is. “Youngho, who was talking to us for a bit, asked where you’ve run off. Poor him, he must’ve missed you in his bed but anyway! We told him that you went down south somewhere in Provence for a break. Oddly enough, he mentioned how the mentioned member moved back there for the same reason.”

Ten and Amélie gave each other another frisky look, merely to piss you off. So predictable of them.

“Get to the point please!” You screeched.

“Jeong Jaehyun, ever heard of him?” Amélie imitated your tone of voice. “I mean, you should since you made a whole painting of him.”

“H-How,” Speechless, that’s what you were. Ten went on a fit of giggles, signaling the build-up of his intoxication.

“Youngho visited the studio to find a specific painting for his home, and we helped him in choosing. Then when your deliveries of paintings arrived that day and were unwrapped, the look on his face when he saw Jaehyun’s painting was priceless. Things started to add up, especially when he told us that he called up Jaehyun prior, he said that Jaehyun was seeing a girl during his stay there.”

“A young, burnt-out painter from Paris, to be specific.”

They’ve put you on the edge of the cliff, and it was too close to call it a coincidence. Of all things to be revealed, this had to be the first.

“Well, I was waiting for another time to tell you guys about him though.”

Their gasps of joy could give you guys a noise complaint by the neighbors, telling all about your escapades of him and you. During it, the more you missed seeing him daily either on his bike or his car. It was stuck in your routine, but now it’s reverted to your old one.

Could the next summer come any faster?

14 février 1958

Perhaps your newest collection at the Louvre was your most successful one yet.

Entitled “Inspirez, Expirez” (Breathe In, Breathe Out), your sceneries during your stay in the village varied. An old couple slow dancing under the night sky, and the quiet district of shops Jaehyun took you, those were some of your last additions.

A multitude of positive reviews on the newspapers and art magazines came in, commending on taking on a fresher, brighter outlook for a change whilst finding your spark again. As fulfilling it was, what you longed the most was the one responsible for it.

Lately, it’s been tough to contact him. His maids always answered the calls, informing you that he was busy with work or family matters. It’s so rare for him to act like this. Whatever it was, it wasn’t grand or serious hopefully.

Back to your collection, tonight was the last night of it. Just in time for Valentine’s day, where numerous socialite lovers embarked on this event, but you’re more fixated that it was also Jaehyun’s birthday. A boy full of love born on the day dedicated for it, things made more sense. In case, you’ve sent your birthday wishes to him through letter and passing the message to one of his maids. Even on his special day, he hasn’t reached out to you.

But to momentarily forget about that, there was a closing ceremony held for this exhibit with the other artists involved, and it was your turn to give your final remarks. More esteemed socialites and journalists were present, which didn’t halt your nerves the slightest. You were a professional after all, holding pride in your craft as you stood in front of the microphone wearing your new favorite custom-made gown.

There are perks when you have close friends in the fashion industry, specifically Kim “Key” Kibum from the House of Key. After defending him from a disrespectful client when you were picking up a dress for your boss during your internship years, not only did you earn his respect, but an invite to his shows and first claiming of new items from his collections. Dining in expensive restaurants in the metro was a plus, catching up on your lives. Sometimes calling each other out for your sexcapades too.

Speaking of him, he was in the crowd that night, ordering every photographer to take photos of your gorgeous self in one of his dresses. Or in your opinion, bribing some by how he stuffed a few thick stacks of Euro bills down their pockets.

Only one of it ever made. A dark green satin v-neck off-the-shoulder gown, where diamonds adorned your neck and ears and white stilettos kept your perfect balance. Also courtesy of Key.

Because it’s the winter season, he gifted you a limited edition white fur coat every socialite tried getting their hands on. Your hair was styled in a bun, emphasizing your dark tinted lips from this new lipstick Amelie insisted you buy.

Most people would get the first impression that you were one of the socialites, a child from one of the affluent families even. But you were a lot more remarkable than that, having inborn talent in the arts that you specialized over your youth and rising to the top without any parental help.

“Thank you to everyone for their endless support towards the magnificent collections of each artist present. As for mine, I am grateful to rechannel my creative side by taking a break. Rather than romanticizing overworking our bones to the core, there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back from the pressure. Being alive is a blessing, realizing further how our youth won’t stay with us forever. Being away from the boisterous cities, I found relaxation in the countryside of Provence.”

Your lips quirked into a grin as every single memory during that time reeled in your head like a movie. “The beauty of Provence cannot be simply put in words. The muses I’ve encountered were more than lovely, especially the man behind the Poetic Rose. With that, I sincerely thank everyone from my bottom of my heart and I hope to continue to support me in the years to come.”

The applause roared once you stepped down the platform, shaking hands with every esteemed guest with more gratitude as they praised you. These days, socializing with them was a lot easier. You’ve even taken more initiative to greet people first before they do, conversing with them easily about anything.

Key definitely noticed that as you toured him around your section, holding his nth glass of wine for the night.

“You, Madame (Y/N), transformed into a social butterfly.” He nudged your shoulder, smirking once he got a better view of his favorite painting from you. “I guess that’s the thing when you’re in love.”

“I beg your pardon?”

With this free hand, he motioned it up and down at the painting in front of you. “The Poetic Rose is none other than the youngest son of the Jeong family, whom I’ve met through his older sister, Krystal.”

“Am I really the only one who doesn’t know him?!” You stressed, jokingly. Key was elated to capture you in his trap, the changes of your personality too evident in his eyes. Figuring it out that it was love took a while, but being acquainted with Krystal, she’s the one who told him that her younger brother was in love with a painter in Provence. Do the math.

“I’ve met him through his older sister, one of my highly favored clients. He’s not much of a socialite like her, so I don’t really blame you for that.”

Searching for a waiter to refill your wine glasses, a surprise emerged the both of you.

“Madame Krystal, you’re absolutely stunning.”  Key complimented her, giving the engaged heiress of Jeong Tea Inc. kisses on the cheek as respect. Her recent engagement to Kim Donghyun, her childhood sweetheart and also the heir of Kim Couture, was the talk of the town.

They arrived at the event together, drawing the attention of everyone in the room earlier. Now, he was speaking to a few influential socialites he made a deal with this week about the art collections present.

“Key, you never fail to look fantastic,” She remarked positively, poking his necktie before placing her undivided attention on you. “So you must be (Y/N) (Y/L/N). You’re beyond bewildering in that gown.”

“Flattered to hear that, Madame Krystal. Such a pleasure to meet you.”

The three of you chatted as if you were the only people there. From art, passion, and love, pride filled in your chest when you toured your collection. It was like walking down memory lane for her, adding out how she used to climb the peach tree with her younger brother during their childhood. Once her eyes laid on Poetic Rose, she took her time admiring it.

“My younger brother grew up well. That’s all I could ever hope for as his only older sister.” She paused, noticing how silent you became when you stared at the painting along with her. She observed the passion lit in your eyes, yet there was longing behind it by the way your lips pouted briefly. “You must really love him, do you?”

“I do, truly. After meeting him, not only was I boosted with so much ideas, but my heart embraced him for what and who he is in this universe.” You professed confidently, earning an approving smile from Krystal.

“If that’s how you feel, why not tell him that yourself?”

Her fingers gestured you to turn around. Stood in a grey suit with his brown hair slicked back, it was like seeing a completely new person. A handsome one though. His fashion in the countryside heavily differed from his fashion in the cities. So sophisticated and refined, he looked like a prince straight out of a fairytale.

Your fairytale.

“Jaehyun.”

It’s like everything stopped once he sprinted towards you, pulling you off your feet for a snug hug. Your arms threw themselves on his neck by instinct, not wasting a single second in his grasp. Your nose inhaled the woody scent of his cologne, something more formal than his usual fruity scent.

The smell of aftershave in his jaw couldn’t go ignored either, assuming that he must have had plans to go out tonight. Nonetheless, you squealed as if you were back in Provence, giggling at his boldness. Once he put you down, neither of you could get your hands off each other.

“What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you’d be in Paris!” Clutching your waist, you gazed at him with doe-like eyes, instilling confusion.

“J’ai voulu te surprendre, my chérie.” (I wanted to surprise you, my darling.)

He chuckled, pushing some straying strands of your hair behind your ear. His eyes evoked so much endearment towards this elegant look you prepared, making his heart race as if he were in the gardens of his manor again.

Hearing his petname for you again attacked your heart every time no matter how much time passed, he lifted your chin high. Jaehyun urged himself to kiss you senseless right there, leaning lower. And yes, you anticipated it by how your eyes instantly closed.

Only if it weren’t for Krystal to clear her throat, obviously ruining the mood. Flinching away from your sensual lover, you rubbed the nape of your neck. Towards an heiress like her, it must’ve been unprofessional.

“Couldn’t you at least wait until I left, younger brother?” Her fingers flicked Jaehyun’s forehead, a teasing trick they used to do as kids. Even if she was a lot shorter now, it didn’t mean the impact was weak. He cursed under his breath, covering his forehead.

Stifling your laughter was a failure, crinkling your eyes to unleash your emotions. So this is what their sibling dynamic was like?

“Now excuse me, older sister. You didn’t tell me you were visiting the exhibit after my birthday dinner with our parents?” He crossed his arms, exchanging a judgmental look. For his sake, he wanted to maintain his pride. “All you said after dinner was that you were going straight home with your fiancé after all the alcohol mother gave you because it made you lightheaded.”

“Well, you know Key and his persuasiveness. He insisted I attend this event last minute because all the collections were amazing.” She explained, shedding a subtle glance at you. “Plus, it’s an excuse to finally meet this lovely girl you raved so much through your letters.”

Jaehyun kept his family life private, so this piece of information was new to you. The unpredicted way the fluttering feeling drew in your stomach, all you could do was smile from the flattery.

“He spoke about me to you?”

“More than speak, my dear. He practically professed his love for you, asking me advice on how to court a girl, make them smile, etcetera. You’re the first girl he’s been this affectionate with, and I completely understand now.” She patted your shoulder, hopeful. She had such a strong older sister vibe, reminding you of your older siblings back home. “You’re a clever, talented woman. I look forward to seeing you more often.”

As you nodded in approval, she turned towards her brother with her recurring teasing look. “Yah, Jaehyun. You better take care of her. If she ever sheds a tear because of you, I’m hunting you down in the gardens.”

“Harsh of you, Krystal.” He planted his hand on his chest, feigning pain. “But no worries. Having you and mother around me kept me well-mannered towards women growing up.”

Playfulness aside, Krystal felt honored towards her younger brother. Men these days maintained their sexist beliefs and rudeness, especially those who doubted her high position in the family business once her father stepped down. Nowadays, it’s men like Jaehyun who could really challenge the patriarchy and make women pursue a lot more than being limited as a housewife.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Now please excuse me, I’ll be on my way.”

Krystal waltzed her way out without tripping from her slight intoxication, which Jaehyun worried about earlier. But anyway, that left him alone with you. Filled with so many questions, you didn’t know where to start.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to Paris? Why didn’t you acknowledge my birthday wishes to you? Why aren’t you answering my calls and letters?” You blurted without wasting a breath, weren’t trying to come off as needy, but it became peculiar when he was contacting you like usual.

You pushed off thinking of the worst scenarios, not wanting it to ruin your drive and your emotions either. Yet you trusted Jaehyun enough to know he wasn’t the type of person either.

“Okay slow down, ma chérie.” His hands maneuvered for you to stop for a bit. “Ask me one by one and I’ll give you a solid answer for each while we roam around.”

He arrived in Paris last week, which was initially for work. Then his birthday clashing was a coincidence. It would be too lonely to go home and celebrate his special day alone, so he extended. But again, it’s his work that caused his abrupt contact.

When you were too busy delving into the success of recovering your inspiration, he also found his spur to write again too. Day and night, his mind kept him tedious with an endless trail of thoughts and words. Overall, he finalized it then brought the end product to the same publishing house where his books in the past went through.

In fact, he decided to publish them specifically today on his birthday. The only day in his itinerary he planned, where after publishing, he’d hang out with his friends, have dinner with his family then run off to reunite with you.

“I didn’t intend to make you feel like a second choice, so please forgive me for that, ma chérie.”

“All is forgiven, Jaehyun.” You held both his hands, kissing them tenderly out of habit. “I’m overjoyed that you rekindled your creative side again.”

You were so understanding and empathetic, and Jaehyun aimed to act that way too. He learned so much from you as his friend before being his lover. Quickly enough, you’re both back to his portrait in the center. Like a critic, he narrowed his eyes and scrunched his nose. Tapping his chin with his finger,

“This man in Poetic Rose, he’s quite dashing.” He commented with conceit, walking closer to it to view it better. “His freckles are on point, his dimples and dazzling eyes too. Why exactly is he described as a Poetic Rose?”

“Well sir,” You stood beside him, imitating his actions. “This man here always spoke so eloquently, like he had a very poetic approach on life. He reminded me also of a rose by his rosy tinted cheeks and his beauty. He was alluring inside and out.”

“Is he your favorite muse?”

“I never quoted him as a muse because he’s more than that. Muses can be replaced once they no longer serve purpose towards the artist. Though with him, he’s the never-ending flame that I want to keep for the rest of time."

You held on to his hand, interlocking your fingers with his. The apparent reddening of his ears proved that he was flustered, yet you spoke no lies.

“Joyeux anniversaire, ma flamme.” (Happy birthday, my flame.)

“Merci beaucoup, ma chérie.” (Thank you, my darling.)

Something about his new release piqued your attention so you brought it up again.

“So tell me about your new book.”

“Let me show you instead.” Inside the blazer, there was an inner pocket that sealed a small hardbound book. Taking it out, he handed it over to you. “This is your copy.”

The cover of the book had an illustration of two young adults running down the fields under the bright sun, with the title written in cursive and placed in the center.

“L’Été de 1957.” (The Summer of 1957.)

Like a child who received a new gift in the mail, you flipped the book open. Seeing the table of contents and credits to other important people involved in the process, there was a detailed dedication right before the starting chapter. It’s an unexpected page, noticing that he never put anything like this in his last works.

“Pour ma chérie, qui a peint les couleurs manquantes de ma vie.” (For my darling, who painted the missing colors of my life.)

Although Jaehyun planned to write about the couples he met in the countryside, he chose to change his perspective. Instead, he based this new book on your summer romance, installing more original characters who made your romance blossom more.

“I was once so engaged in listening to people’s love stories, hung up on what they felt.” He expounded, pacing around the floor whilst you skimmed through the pages. There were black and white photos from your adventures too to wrap the reader further in the story.

“While I was struggling to find the next story, I realized late that my story with you was a perfect choice. When I fell in love with you, it’s like I didn’t have to fret anymore about anything. Everything slowly yet surely aligned into place for me. Like how we found inspiration in each other.”

A poetic speaker meant having a poetic, wise mind. You kept an open mind whenever Jaehyun shared his thoughts on life with you, an intimate time that didn’t require using your bodies. Whether you were stargazing or drinking wine by his patio, his soulful personality never changed.

“So I recapped every single memory we had and compiled them,” He resumed, taking a closer step towards yours. His warm hands grasped your waist again, catching a glimpse of your astonished face. Mostly, towards your lips that he missed feeling against his.

“This book expressed my own take on love this time, the one I want to grow in.”

You’d care less if you dropped the book and your coat right there, your major desire to kiss him again was driving your senses to the edge of a cliff. Nothing could’ve braced yourself the second you fervently collided your lips with his. It didn’t feel like you were in this exhibit, but somewhere back in his mansion engulfed in each other’s presence.

Your legs almost melted by your daring move, if it weren’t for Jaehyun’s arm moving upwards to your back to stabilize you more. Your body tingled with goosebumps due to his relaxing fingers all over your body. His tongue caved in your lips, and you couldn’t ban its access.

Such an explicit sight, it felt forbidden as you were inches away from the public crowd. Yet it was the least of your worries if they made a big fuss over it. Jaehyun was here again with you, and that was more valuable to you. He savored every trace of your touches, taking his delicate time with you. No past birthday could defeat this, especially when it’s the first one to celebrate with you. The first of many.

As much you wanted to keep this up for hours, your lungs started feeling constricted of air so your lips timidly let go. Though your hands couldn’t, your overwhelmed eyes couldn’t shift away from the heart-stopping view of your lover. Wherein even after such a fearless session, his eyes fused with love and need with his plumper lips.

“Everything about Provence, especially you, that’s the life I want.” You confessed this concealed secret that’s revolved your head for a while now. Yet its certainty was true.

“Are you sure, ma chérie? What about work?” As an artist, he believed you should stay where everything is accessible. Yet as his woman, he wanted you to follow your heart. Jaehyun didn’t want you to choose or struggle.

“I’ve grown out from the idea that the city life was the only life meant of an artist like me.” You replied, confident enough to discuss it after deep thought. “Cities like Paris hold exciting, vigorous flames that will have you clinging on to them. But then, they’ll eventually die the longer you stay. You get burned in the process too. However, I stand by what I said earlier. I found an endless flame when I met and began loving you, Jaehyun. It doesn’t sting at all; it illuminates strongly every living day.”

Urging him to lower his stance with your fingers, you stated one last phrase. “Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”

“If that’s the case,” Jaehyun acknowledged, sticking his arm out for you. “Let’s get out of here.”

Astounded expressions crowded the socialites in the event as they watched the both of you exit together. If the news of Krystal and Donghyun weren’t crazy enough, some journalists figured the mysterious man behind The Poetic Rose and spread it like wildfire.

How was the youngest son of the Jeong family turned renowned romance novel author connected to the impressive, up-and-coming painter from London?

What really went down in Provence?

“How can you miss out on the signs? Did you not see them share a kiss earlier?” Key protested to those who weren’t approving whatever relationship you guys had. He loved his tea but hated those who simply were money hungry. Wanting a chance to be a part of the rich family, only to fish them out of their riches sooner or later.

Meanwhile, the winter season didn’t stop any of you from roaming the streets of Paris. Moments like these were a preview of the future you’ve envisioned with Jaehyun. Youthful, free, and fiery, a love between two artists created more magic not just in their crafts but to those around them.

Promenading a street overlooking the Seine River, Jaehyun took out a smaller instant camera from his pocket and took a candid shot of you. Stunned, you slapped his chest with your bag.

“Hey! Just how many more things are hidden in your blazer?”

“Just my wallet and a few condoms. Why’d you ask?” He raised a suggestive brow, feigning good intentions.

You hummed, faking your deep thought mindset. “At this rate, I don’t think we’ll make it back to my apartment alive.”

Jaehyun tugged you by your coat, his lips hovering your ear to whisper. “If we call a cab right now, I can finger you in the backseat.”

You chuckled at his vulgar idea, but it seemed ideal. You loved the thrill of getting caught or having someone overhearing you two, just like him. Besides, his fingers don’t match up to yours when you touch yourself alone in your apartment. You bat your eyelashes, giving in.

“Deal.”

6 ans plus tard (1964)

Summer returned, the sun strongly smiling down to the plentiful flowers at your family garden. By the patio of your home, your canvas was already laid by the easel stand. Shades of yellow were applied first to symbolize the brightness of the day, following the outline of your desired scenery for this piece.

Dipping the brush in water to change colors, you took another glance at the breezy sky. Light blue with clouds resembling soft pillows, you inhaled gently as your brush faintly stroked the canvas again.

Your hair was tied in a bun, meaning that you’re in for a busy session. But a more soothing one as the jazz music flowed from the vinyl player inside. Stress was the last thing you needed right now.

“What’s madame artiste up to right now?” Your husband piped in from behind, placing down a tray of tea and crackers. With some top buttons of his white top left unattended, you glimpsed on his toned chest when he leaned down. But you mustn’t pry whilst working, even when temptation was calling your name repeatedly.

“The summer sunshine healed me of my discomfort, so I think it’s about time I painted again.” You chewed on the snack, looking back and forth to the view. As enchanting as all the flowers you and him planted over the years grew, you’re more amused by a little boy strolling around it with his magnifying glass and tiny wooden basket with his furry puppy by his side.

His tiny legs often troubled the two of you because he enjoyed spending time with nature. Only God knows what he found in the garden this time.

“Adrien est explorer encore. Devrais-je lui dire qu’il change de place, ma chérie?” (Adrien is exploring again. Should I tell him to change places, my darling?) Jaehyun cautiously asked, not wanting his 3 year old son to impair your perspective.

“Non,” (No,) You held on to his hand, kissing it sweetly. Although you peeved any unnecessary details found in your scenery in the past, Adrien was an exception. As his mother, it’s hard to say no to him unless necessary.

“Il est un garçon curieux, alors il devrait explorer et flâner où il veut.” (He’s a curious boy, so he should explore and wander wherever he wants.)

Life ever since you returned to the countryside shifted into something more precious than you imagined. From moving places constantly, you found a home to settle in for good. A home with overflowing love and inspiration. A home within Jeong Jaehyun.

Recently, you halted your work-related activities in Paris and came home because you were heavily homesick. It even affected your health as a whole. So you made adjustments with your schedules, postponing appearances to events to next year.

On the plus side, you could be more active as a mother to Adrien. It felt like you burdened Jaehyun to take care of Adrien most of the time because he mainly worked from home, wherein important people who wanted to meet him would have to fly out to the countryside.

Back and forth to Paris, your presence towards Adrien often lacked. Here came your biggest fear, which was Adrien forgetting you. But Jaehyun told you over and over again that it wasn’t the case. As he listened to every wrenching thought you had, but he’d combat it with heartfelt words of reassurance so you wouldn’t overanalyze things.

He vowed to love and take care of you when times get hard, and he will continue doing so.

Remember when you said how his mansion felt too big?

It no longer did after getting married.

It gave more room to grow and breathe more life into it. When Adrien was born, he was the prime reflection of your and Jaehyun’s love. He mirrored his father’s physical traits but with a daring personality like yours. A perfect mixture, the world worked amazingly to bring a boy like him into your life.

“Maman! Papa!” Adrien bolted to where you and Jaehyun stood. From the clothes he wore, it’s very much clear that his father was in charge of it whilst you slept in the entire morning. Suspenders, capri shorts, a white shirt, and a red beret, he deserved his title as Jaehyun’s mini-me.

Jaehyun swelled with pride and love for his only son, peeking over what he brought to show and tell you both. “Oh Adrien, what do you have for us today?”

In his basket, there were 3 sunflowers stuck out from the edge. It’s been a while since you’ve seen some in full bloom, lowering your stance to get a more vivid view. He took them out to hand them to you and your husband.

One flower for Jaehyun and two for you. You let out a gasp, scrunching your brows to the center. He always gave one of each item to you and Jaehyun, never more or less.

“Ooh, deux fleurs pour Maman. Pourquoi, Rien?” (Ooh, two flowers for Mama. Why, Rien?) Jaehyun let his nickname out for his lips while you grasped his small hand.

“Well, I heard from Olivier next door that on his birthday, he gave extra flowers to his mother so he could have another sibling. And it worked!” He spoke so innocently, yet it hitched a choke from Jaehyun’s chest. Your eyes widened from disbelief. The information he collected due to his curiosity, no boundaries truly.

“Le mois prochain, c’est mon anniversaire. Je me demandais si je peux avoir un frère ou sœur comme Olivier? Tu es toujours occupée, comme Papa. Je ne veux plus être seul, alors je veux une amie aussi.” (It’s my birthday next month, and I was wondering if I can have a sibling like Olivier? You are always busy, like Papa. I don’t want to be alone anymore, so I want a friend too.)

You exchanged looks with Jaehyun, not knowing how exactly to respond. Although you and Jaehyun did agree that you wanted more than one child when you were younger, neither of you brought it up again since your careers were always loaded with plans.

Adrien was a surprise child actually, conceived on the night where you and Jaehyun celebrated after L’Été de 1957 was announced to be the best-selling romance novel of the decade in the country.

In Paris at his family home, where his parents brought out all their prized liquor, the two of you drank the entire night away to the point Krystal and Donghyun had to push you away from each other from your public affections because their children were present.

But it didn’t stop you two once you reached his bedroom, far away from everything and everyone. And you’ll never change it.

“Oh, Rien,” You eased in, consoling him. “Je suis désolé. Mais c’est franchement une grande demande, n'est-ce pas?” (I am sorry. But that’s quite a big request, right?)

“Mom and I will think about it first, okay? Another kid is a big responsibility, and you’ll be their older brother. That’s another important job, can you do it well?”

“Yes, I can, Papa!” He beamed with glee, his covered head patted by his father after. As you placed the sunflowers beside your palette, Adrien then proceeded to ask you if he could paint with you like old times.

Never you refuse especially with his sparkling round eyes and chubby face that makes you want to squish every time.

As you lifted his light body to sit on your lap, you placed your brush between his stubby fingers and carefully aimed in whatever angle seemed fit so the painting process would run smoothly and perfectly. He let out sounds of amazement when the strokes get bigger, jumping slightly too because the picture became more vivid. You’d smile and coo at him, commending whenever he followed instructions well. As his mother, you only encouraged your child in whatever they want to excel in.

Adrien was the child of two artists, so it was only natural that he had an artistic side in his veins.

Too caught up in your fun, hearing the automatic shutter of the camera from your side was delayed. The source was none other than Jaehyun hiding behind his camera. Jaehyun’s heart soared at the heavenly view of the most important people in his life, wanting to treasure the moment as a lovely memory.

“Hey!” You shouted, placing down the messy brush by the palette. “Je suis très laid!” (I am very ugly!)

“Shh! Tu est rayonnant, ma chérie. Papa est juste, Rien?” (Shh! You are glowing, my darling. Papa is right, Rien?)

Jaehyun politely quizzed the peppy boy, nodding excitedly. His dimples deeply showed up, the main trait he claimed from his father.

“Oui, papa! Maman est toujours belle!” (Yes, papa! Mama is always beautiful!)

He exclaimed, pecking your cheek numerously. You squealed, attacking him with tickles and kisses back. His shouts of delight, then he was suddenly carried by your tall husband in the air like he was flying in the sky. Adrien enjoyed that motion highly, ending up on Jaehyun’s shoulders shortly after to play by the garden again.

“Go paint. I’ll take care of him now.” Jaehyun persuaded, roaming through the long rows of flowers in full bloom. Though seconds after adding some strokes to your piece, you let down your hair, put a hat and sandals on, and ran to the cute duo to join them.

And that’s how your family spent the entire afternoon. By the garden, running around and taking photos and short videos from Jaehyun’s camera. Freezing these valuable memories, this was truly the life you loved so much.

After your break, you could convince the company you worked at that you’d prefer fewer trips to Paris and stay in the countryside longer. How badly you’ve wanted to hold your exhibits here instead. Plus like Jaehyun, let influential people visit you. You’ve already made a big name for yourself now, so that should be valid enough.

Dinner time passed by quickly too, eventually putting Adrien to a smooth slumber as you massaged the roots of his soft hair while Jaehyun sang him a lullaby. This was your joint parenting technique with him since he was a newborn, and it worked quickly as lightning.

You redressed into your silk nightgown after bringing your canvas to the master bedroom, opening the balcony doors to invite the cool breeze in. You tweaked some bits of your painting, including a silhouette of your small family. Regarding where to place it, probably by the living room as it matched the theme.

“What a spectacular day, don’t you think, ma chérie?” Jaehyun conversed, admiring the calm movements of your brush. He noticed a quirky smile grace your lips.

“It’s been a long time since we had quality time like that with Rien. He’s a feisty ball of energy these days.” You replied with a nostalgic daze. “It’s so crazy how one day, he was still crawling to us. Now, he could outrun the both of us.”

“Comme le temps passe vite, hmm?” (How time flies fast, hmm?) Nodding, nothing braced for what your husband had in mind. You almost dropped your brush mid-way. Jaehyun’s lips impatiently devoured your neck, his huge hands fondling your breasts. Violently throwing your head back against his chest, a needy moan parted your lips.

“Jae-” His touches reaching south to where you desired him highly, dampening hastily as your legs naturally spread apart. Rushed exhales, “À quoi tu penses maintenant?” (What are you thinking about right now?)

“Rien se sent seul,” (Rien feels alone,) His hot breath whispered against your ear, his fingers dangerously trailing your thin panties up and down. With your hands tightly clutching on his bicep,

“Alors, donnons-lui une amie.” (We should give him a friend.)

Ever since Adrien mentioned such a daring topic, it hasn’t left Jaehyun’s mind the whole day. After seeing you in utter bliss with your son earlier, he found you so majestic and radiant. It’s a different kind of happiness, especially for parents.

Now you went on hiatus, he thought that it was the right time to have another. He enjoyed his younger years with Krystal, and he wanted Adrien to experience it too. 3 years was quite a wait, and it seemed ideal to try again.

From his nude chest, you flipped around to intensely clash his lips with yours. Draping your arms behind his neck, Jaehyun lifted your entire figure from the chair. His hands gripping on your butt, he delicately lowered you down your bed.

Drowning into his sensual kisses with his hands all over you, this could prolong for hours. Reddening love marks started to resurface whilst your fingers tugged on the drawstring of his pajama pants. Jaehyun’s fingers dove under the fabric of your panties, his index finger rubbing figure 8s the sensitive bundle of nerves.

You struggled to swallow your moans, not wanting Rien to hear it. You wouldn’t want to repeat history, covering it as Jaehyun massaging you after a hard day.

“I know you want one too, ma chérie.” His fingers began to drape down the straps of your gown, presenting your breasts in its full, perky view. But before his lips could suck on your erect nipples, you parted momentarily from him and got up on your feet. Pulling up your straps again, Jaehyun simply laid down but he wasn’t pleased from how you left him hanging.

“Où vas-tu, ma chérie?” (Where are you going, sweetheart?)

He was growing impatient. You were never to interrupt such a sexy atmosphere ever.

From one of your drawers in your vanity table, an important, half-opened envelope was hidden. You were supposed to give it tomorrow but now seemed like a perfect time. Reading it as soon one of the maids handed it to you gave you the jitters, but in a positive way. Sitting back down on the edge of your bed, you exhilaratingly passed it to your husband.

“Qu’est-ce que c’est?” (What is this?)

“Ouvre-le.” (Open it.)

Jaehyun slowly opened the edges and once he took out the contents. Reading it thoroughly, he couldn’t believe it as his jaw dropped, pacing from the letter and you back and forth.

“Vraiment, ma chérie?” (Really, my darling?)

It was from a doctor you visited in Paris a few days before you left, who confirmed just exactly what caused your health to go feeble suddenly. You already had one certain suspicion, which you addressed in your leave of absence letter. Amelié, who finally got the position as the head, couldn’t believe her ears and insisted you take all the time off you needed.

“On dirait que Adrien a reçu son cadeau d'anniversaire en avance.” (It looks like Adrien received his birthday gift early.)

Overall, it turned out the headaches and repeated vomiting you mistook as motion sickness from traveling was a surprise hello to your second child.

A girl specifically, thanks to the blood test she recommended.

“Je t’aime, (Y/N).”

“Montre moi combien tu m’aimes, Jaehyun.” (Show me how much you love me, Jaehyun.)

The whole night through, the two of you vigorously celebrated with the moonlight from the windows and a few scented candles set in the room. Wet kisses left on your collarbone, words of devotion exchanged, holding his hand as he groaned from heartily thrusting in you, the number of moans from your lips overlapped with the vinyl playing in the room. The intimacy between you two increased, almost as if you made love for the first time again all those years ago.

Excluding being drenched from the rain.

Once the two of you grew tired, Jaehyun lied down beside you. Wrapping one arm around, one hand trailed down your naked skin again. His wedding band flashed your eyes, reminding you of the commitment you promised each other. For better, and for worse.

Jaehyun promised to love you endlessly as a woman and his wife, and it didn’t cease when you became the mother of his children. He respected how strong you are, physically and mentally. He helped you in any way he could as you endured the struggling process.

At the end of the day, his family was his biggest priority. More than ever now, you needed him as you go through the pregnancy phases again. Specifically, his index finger lingered on your stomach. There was no bump or other signs of showing, except for that glow he complimented you earlier on.

“We met and fell in love over the summer, got married in summer, had Adrien mid-summer, and now found out about our daughter at the start of summer.” He smiled, blessed at all the good he’s received during this time.

“The summer gods must adore us.” Your vacant hand with your wedding band topped his. To love and to cherish. “Ils m'ont amené à toi.” (They brought me to you.)

His power on you was simply addicting, as if your early twenties revisited you. You straddled himself once again, your fingers caressing his face sweetly. When it reached his lips, he placed longing kisses there and pulled you closer again for another kiss on your lips. In between, you mumbled in a silvery tone,

“Then they led us to say I do. Pour toujours et à jamais.”

copyright © 2021 by alluringjae.

#nct #nct au #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct angst #nct fluff #nct smut #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct 127 au #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 angst #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 smut #nct 127 x reader #jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #jung jaehyun #nct jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun smut #jaehyun angst #nct jaehyun x reader #jeong jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun x reader #jung jaehyun imagines

[nightswithkookmin]

chile i'm so glad i came across your blog, the amount of "i'm not going to assume they're dating" or "we can only draw certain conclusions but i can't say for sure" "we don't know their sexuality, BUT" type blogs i follow is getting kinda wack lmao. while i appreciate their perspective and nuanced takes i need to strike a balance. like let's get a lil delulu every once in a while. 💀

lol the im-not-a-shipper-but-call-jikook-boyfriends-every-other-post blogs are the funniest to me. the shipping hierarchy, so to speak is so weird. maybe just because im not a "shipping real people is bad" person i don't see the big deal. gonna get called delulu anyway, might as well go full out. they is gay/queer and they're fucking. i'm so sorry.

*also can we touch on the fact that shipping in this type of fandom (kpop) is kind of inevitable and unavoidable??! these boys are the other people we see them with day in and day out, interacting with each other and no one else. i feel like it's natural to ship when there's no other people around to break up everything, idk maybe someone can articulate this better than me. and people who are made to feel stupid for thinking that 2 members could actually be dating is so dumb. like is it really out of the realm of possibility that two people (jikook, cause all them other ships are....😬) who spent almost every waking minute together for like 8 years could fall in love. really?

/rant

It's the delulu hat for me

Lmho.

I guess for me being queer, I feel it's gaslighting for these people to be saying things like that. As silly as it is, it inadvertently deny and invalidate the existence and queerness of gay individuals and so I struggle with it.

This is the consequences of straight people in gay people business. They like defining gay parameters for us and it's like who asked you?? I feel people who say things like that are just plain ignorant or tone deaf or willfully homophobic.

I don't think everyone in BTS is gay but it makes me feel safe to see half the community assume them to be and celebrate them in that way. They are not cussing at them and threatening to leave the fandom or cancel them for this assumption and that is huge inspiration to me.

Those parts of the fandom are a safe space to be in as a queer army.

When people assume a person's queer sexuality they are simply admitting to themselves at the very least that LGBTQ EXISTS. This is important to me because I grew up in a community where LGBTQ didn't even exist in the collective consciousness of the people and EVERYONE IS AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED TO BE STRAIGHT AND EXPECTED TO BE.

People read people's sexuality all the time and have done so since time immemorial and a lot of the time when they have had a sexuality read it's in the lines of straight, cis, rich, poor, superior or inferior. And that is a problem for some of us too because that discrepancy in the assumptions is as a result of homophobia and heteronormativity.

That whole don't assume a person's queer sexuality debacle sounds to me like a boujee way of denormalizing and preventing the normalization of queerness disguised under care, disguised under intelligence and disguised under wokeness. Especially when straightness is the default setting in this giant blue bulb.

We need to radicalize that. We need to change the cis straight default setting and if you are perpetuating this narrative you really aren't helping the situation. SIT DOWN.

I'm rarely assumed to be queer in certain circles and while that makes me feel comfortable within those circles it often times make it hard for me to admit my queerness openly in those circles too because I fear I will lose that comfort and respect and love and privileges that comes with being percieved straight in those spaces.

When I started my blog, I noticed some people assumed I was white and would use certain black descriptors as slurs when describing other people to me. I quickly had to switch the formal way in which I wrote to a much casual tone so my blackness would show through. Don't get it twisted. She black. She blackidy black black.

Then on the other hand, I was hesitant to let my queerness be known too because being black, I was marginalized as it is- you is black, or sound black💀 you know how it is- it's that intersectionality of oppression at play. Double double homicide.

When certain people realized I was black POC minority, their attitude towards me changed. I had those who didn't so much understand what black language is or perhaps wasn't used to being in black spaces and were uncomfortable with my blackness- these would take offense at me saying certain things in certain ways. Like chilee relax Karen, all I said was these motherfukkers gay as shit and they gay. Why you acting like I called them twinks or sommin. Right there, I'm cancelled for calling Jikook motherfuckers. They get sirens and everything😭😭😭😭😭😭

Same vein, I struggle destraightening myself or correcting people who assume I'm straight because I fear they will treat me differently if they knew I wasn't.

Straight privilege exists in the same way as white or even pretty privilege may exist and because these exist there's that automatic conception of queer, poc, ugly, fat disemfranschismet to run along side it.

People treat you differently based on how they perceive you. That's a fact. And for queer people, perceiving us as straight is the only way we get to be treated as human by the masses. And a lot of us embrace that- straight until proven gay am I right 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It's the duper's delight for me. Untill you catch me with a 5'8 melanin skinned silk pressed auntie on my left nipple good luck proving I'm gay.

It can be fun, I akekeke when some people around me are totally oblivious to the fact and even sometimes defend my straightness with their dying breath when nasty friends throw them shades or try to out me unprovoked.

A lot of us don't want to admit we are gay because we don't want to be disenfranchised.

I speak for myself when I say this.

But 'Don't assume someone's sexuality' is a double edged censorship used for and against queer people. It seemly offers protection on the surface of it for queer people but underneath it promotes heteronormativity and standardizes straightness and it is also used to promote closet culture, under the disguise of care and concern for the autonomy of queer people but that is a fallacy because our autonomy has never mattered to anyone since the dawn of homophobia.

And I don't know where this interpretation comes from. Why do people not want to assume queer people's sexuality but it's ok to assume straight people's???

It feels like a hijacked movement to me.

THIS IS THE ACCURATE MOVEMENT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.

Don't assume all people are straight. It's ok to assume some people are queer because queer people exists too.

It is wrong however to assume queerness based on how a person talks, walks, dresses or even on their body type. That is stereotyping. And stereotyping is wrong.

When it comes to Jikook, Jimin is often stereotyped as gay more so than Jungkook because they have different body structures. Jungkook is stereotyped too solely because of the way his wrists hang, or based on moments he's femininity shines through.

But I don't think shippers stereotype Jikook in that way at all. I dont think shippers believe Jikook are dating eachother simply because Jungkook applied setting powder to his face that one time. They assume they are gay only because they believe those two to be dating eachother. That is not stereotyping. If those two were heterosexuals I don't think people will accuse their shippers of stereotyping.

It's one thing to assume Kai is gay because he looks skinny and dances well. It's another to assume he is gay because in a relationship with Gdragon. And if people can't tell the difference between the two, they should get some education and stop talking about things they know nothing about or only know because they stumbled across user69 on Twitter. They are not helping.

Untill people get offended when people assume others are straight, that rhetoric doesn't matter in its inequality. If you ask me, everyone is gay until proven straight.

Yet how many people will take offense at that?

Assuming people can be gay is not delulu.

It's ok to assume people can be gay. It's wrong to stereotype them as gay. If you can't assume they are gay, don't assume they are straight and don't assume at all. Run with this sis.

Wait, they don't ship Jikook but they call Jikook boyfriends???????👀👀👀👀👀

The fake woke syndrome will kill people in this fandom with these mentally confused thought crisis bunch💀💀💀💀

Jikook themselves are shippers💀

Smh

GOLDY

[jochasada]

Be Loved in House: I Do thoughts: Part 1

There is so much to say about this show and I need to get it all out, so I’m going to have to split them in to different parts.

Zhao Gang and Si Qi

This adorable secondary couple was the perfect contrast to our often-frustrating-but-incredibly-loveable main couple.

They showed the importance of communication, especially when Si Qi brought up his insecurities and Zhao Gang being a ‘wanderer’ in love, as he wanted something more stable and serious.

We see the scars of Zhao Gang’s past when he discusses how relationships during his younger years weren’t as straight forward as it was now, which has made him jaded (he must have experienced a lot more homophobia in his past, which is what this hints at). We see though how he is willing to work past this cynicism for Si Qi and the love they share.

This is a paradox to Jin Yu Zhen’s inability to let go of the scars of his past, thus unable to find the strength to pursue a relationship with Shi Lei because of them.

Another contrast came in the way their cohabitation wasn’t forced, unlike that of Jin Yu Zhen and Shi Lei’s. Zhao Gang was a safe space for Si Qi, whereas Yu Zhen was the cause of all of Shi Lei’s problems - housing was just one of many.

Zhao Gang and Si Qi as separate characters played an important role for our main couple as well:

Zhao Gang

Zhao Gang throughout the series was the level-headed adviser, who seemed to have the one and only brain cell. He was firm, wise and comforting. He was whatever everyone needed him to be. This was important for both Shi Lei and Yu Zhen to have someone to turn to, someone who could provide objective advice, and help them both find themselves and each other.

His shared past with Yu Zhen helped the audience and Shi Lei understand and humanise Yu Zhen more (particularly at the start when Shi Lei had nothing but anger towards him). It also meant Yu Zhen had someone to turn to who he could trust, since Yu Zhen’s past with Yi Zi Tong meant he didn’t trust easily at all.

Yu Zhen and Gang sharing a past meant that we got to see an outside perspective of Yu Zhen’s changes, in regards to his views, his personality and his approach in life. It meant we as an audience, as well as the characters, knew something big had happened that had changed Yu Zhen for good. Zhao Gang was probably one of the only characters to truly want things to change for Yu Zhen, since he is the only one who was able to see the impact of Yu Zhen’s past trauma.

His cafe was also everyone’s second home. It’s where they would come to celebrate, to mourn, to forget and even to hold business meetings. His cafe was the cornerstone to all the character’s lives and a comfort for them all. His cafe did NOT deserve to be as empty as it seemed to be throughout the series.

Si Qi

Si Qi, in contrast, was the younger and more loveable character. He was the one Shi Lei wanted to protect and look after; this was especially the case during the housing situation and when his relationship with Zhao Gang was revealed.

He allowed us to see softer sides of every character, as he naturally brought out a protective streak in everyone. This included Yu Zhen, who despite never being a rule breaker, allowed Si Qi to break the single hood rule. This also showed the audience how tentative Yu Zhen’s belief in his rules are. (Mama Shi Lei’s role also showed how Yu Zhen is willing to bend rules, this foreshadowed what would happen with Si Qi and eventually how the rule would of course be eradicated)

So Qi’s innocence and soft hearted nature was was a breath of fresh air compared the adult seriousness of every character; his youth burned bright during every moment he was on screen.

His representation of love was a simple black and white version: If you love each other, be together. This was different to the views on love every other character had (for example: Yu Zhen’s ‘you can’t lose something if you never had it’ avoidance of love; Zhao Gang’s ‘wanderer in love’ view with no commitments; Shi Lei’s view on the gender of his lover impacting his relationship with his mother, etc).

There were no muddy waters when it came to Si Qi’s view on love. Love is love is love.

#I shall post part 2 soon #for some reason I needed to talk about this couple first #before unpacking everything about the main couple and how they made me feel #be loved in house i do #be loved in house #be loved in house: i do #blih i do #blih: i do #Si Qi #Zhao Gang #Zhao gang and Si qi

[funkymbtifiction]

If this question is too personal for you then please ignore it. I couldn’t resist asking it since I rarely find women like me :)

I’ve always been a hopeless romantic ENFP who loved love, but didn’t want to it for herself. Never been interested in it outside of romantic comedies and Taylor Swift songs. I’m in my late twenties, and would love your perspective on how an ENFP could lead a fulfilling life without a relationship. I’m at an age where everyone I know is either engaged or married. Everyone is extra busy and I feel I need to replace the relationship busyness with something else instead of leaving it empty.

Would love to hear about your experience if you’re open to share.

Sure. I’m an open book, for the most part. ;)

I’ve almost never (I won’t say never, since I have my weak moments watching great movies with an epic romance in them, heh) looked at anyone else in a romantic relationship and thought, “I wish I had that.” It’s great for them, and I love a good romance in fiction, but it I don’t feel incomplete without one. But social pressures are often intense -- people get into relationships and have kids. That’s how the world works, and how it has worked since the beginning of time -- or we would not be here. So, the natural assumption of society is that people OUGHT to be in relationships or have kids. If you have no interest in that kind of thing, you are “weird.” You get people wondering if you are a closet gay person. Or if there is something wrong with you.

Which makes me wonder, why does everyone care so much about other people’s sex lives (or lack thereof)? Why can’t we as a society just accept everyone for who they are, including people who have no interest in romantic relationships? Firstly, my love life or lack of it is no one else’s business. (Just like how rude it is to ask a married couple how soon they are going to “start a family.” Like, that’s not your business either, and they are under no obligation to bring kids into this world. :P But I digress.)

For me, personally, I do go through times when I wonder, “Is this it? Is this all there is? Would I feel more fulfilled if I had a ‘normal’ life and a relationship?” And yet, ultimately, my own happiness is reliant on... me. And how I feel about myself, not the status of whether I’m “involved” with someone else or not. At this point in my life (I have about a decade on you of single-hood), I would look at a relationship as a privilege rather than a necessity. I’m not interested, but that is not to say that an amazing person could come along and change my mind, if I saw how they would be an asset in every way, rather than a liability.

I agree, however, that you need to find something meaningful to fill your time with, since you have so much of it to spare. That’s one of the perks and downfalls of being single -- you are commander of your own fate, you make up all the rules, and you don’t have a thousand familial obligations weighing on you. You don’t have to factor in “us” when making plans, or prioritize the other person -- but that does leave you with an awful lot of “free time” as you get older, since you aren’t ferrying kids to soccer practice. I would recommend that you find out what you really love and start doing it, but also expand into other new areas and “explore.” You have the time to read, to learn, to try new things, to travel, to make new friends (and stay in touch with them), to volunteer, to get involved in an organization that you feel strongly about (there are a lot of good charities and outreach programs that would love to have you).

You need to figure out what makes YOU feel fulfilled... and how you define a life of fulfillment. It’s different for everyone. For me, it makes me feel fulfilled to run this blog, to help people learn more about themselves and understand each other better, so their own relationships can go smoother. It makes me feel fulfilled to spend time with the people I love, to nurture the platonic relationships I have, and to be known as a good friend. It makes me fulfilled to love animals and give them the best life I can. My job makes me fulfilled, because I see it as a catalyst for encouraging people to be their best selves and focus on what is good. Writing fiction makes me feel fulfilled, simply because I love doing it. Some people want to look back on their life and see how well they raised their children; I want to look back on my life and take pride in how much hard work, creativity, imagination, and passion went into filling up a bookshelf with my own stories.

I think to be happy in a relationship, you first have to be happy outside of one -- because you know what you love, and who you are, and what kind of a person you want to be, and know that happiness -- true happiness -- doesn’t hinge on your circumstances, but comes from inside yourself. My life is a box of chocolates -- there are good times and bad times, days I’m overjoyed with life and times when I am so depressed I can’t get out of bed... but a relationship would not fix or change that. My happiness is mine to craft.

Everyone needs relationships -- not everyone needs a romantic one. It can be hard to stay happy when your friends no longer have time for you, because they have gone on to get married and have kids and the most important person in their life is their significant other -- there’s often a blank space for single friends, since being married / in a relationship takes them in a new direction. But that’s okay. You can move in your own direction. I encourage you to find and surround yourself with platonic relationships that make you feel fulfilled. I only ever feel lonely and wonder about a romantic entanglement when I’m unable to talk to people and connect to them in a meaningful way. But I’ve found that when I have a steady exchange of ideas and conversation (real conversation, not superficial) I feel... quite content with myself.

One final thought: your feelings may or may not change, but (not that you need to hear this, as an open-minded Ne-dom) ... be open to the possibility that you may feel differently in a few years (and you may not). I’ve always been told that my desire to be a mother would kick in at some point in my 30s as my “biological clock” winds down and it’s never happened for me, but I’ve known friends for which it has happened. ENPs may not settle down for a long time... but a lot of them also reach that age where they realize they want Si things -- those things rooted in how the world works, which includes... families. To ground themselves, and to pass their genes on. Some of them, of course, never reach this point, but it’s important to leave it open as an option, in case you wake up at 38 years old and go, “You know... I am tired of being alone.” Our lives go through stages -- and if you reach that point, or if someone amazing comes along, be flexible and go along with it.

One last thing... loneliness. I’ve thought that when I’m older, I WILL get lonely without someone being there for me and as a 6, I won’t like being all alone in my major decisions (assuming I haven’t found my self-confidence by then, heh). But... there are ways around that. Lots of people are not getting married and a lot of people aren’t interested in romantic relationships, which means if that day ever comes, I’m sure I can find someone to live with me in a platonic way. There’s always a way to solve a problem and find a “connection” that keeps two people happy -- and it doesn’t always need to involve romance.

#question #asexual #mbti #enfp #mod post #being single #submission

[leefi]

Hi, I noticed you did the MBTI types of the ORV characters, and I was wondering what you think the MBTI types are for the Revue Starlight gals :D

Anon, I want you to know that this google doc is 14 pages single-spaced, and I'm still not done.

WITH THAT BEING SAID, I'm so glad you asked!! I'll be breaking this up into four parts so we don't have to scroll through one massive wall of text. The other schools will take a bit more time to publish as I'm still working on a couple from each (I think I have four girls left!).

But without further ado:

Starira MBTI Part 1 - Seisho

Siegfeld

Frontier

Rinmeikan

I had a lot of help with all of this reading @HalfACape’s wonderful character analyses of so many of the girls on twitter, as well as consulting the Personality Database page for the characters I was less sure about (though there were a few I disagreed with on there - none in Seisho, we'll be discussing the others later). But everyone feel free to discuss if you disagree with anything!

Karen Aijo: ENFP

ENFPs’ dominant function is Ne (extroverted intuition) (that running gag Karen has in the game where she mishears words, spouting off suggestions even if they make absolutely zero sense to the situation at hand - “telescope? telephone? telenovella?” - is such stereotypical Ne). Ne is always running towards any possibility, no matter how unlikely it seems, and I don’t need to spell out for you how much of that we saw from Karen in the anime. Ne-Fi feed each other to create a rebel/free-spirit type of personality (Ne seeks all possibilities, Fi holds strong inner values and selfish desires - what do I want, what do I need? How does this make me feel?). Her Te isn’t too developed yet, which is fine because it’s tertiary and she’s still so young. That tertiary, undeveloped Te shows up in her scatterbrained, lackadaisical, go-with-the-flow attitude (but when dominant Fi gets fired up by something - like an old childhood friend coming home - it kicks Te into high gear). Inferior introverted Sensing shows no respect towards rules or regulations - see her revue with Junna (Si-dominant) and the anger she draws out of Maya for (a child of the system and traditionally hard worker) in their Revue of Pride. Karen is the natural rebel, the forever optimist, the sunshine girl - textbook ENFP.

Mahiru Tsuyuzaki: INFP

If you want to see what leading with an introverted function looks like compared to an extroverted function, compare Mahiru to Karen! They share the exact same functions, just flipped on the I/E axis. So Mahiru is Fi, Ne, Si, Te. Karen is Ne, Fi, Te, Si. And Mahiru is a very clear example of an INFP - such a warm, brilliant, awe-inspiring person, but can also be her own worst enemy and others tend to underestimate her. And it’s hard, I don’t blame her! Leading with Fi and not having that physical/in the moment Se to support it (like ISFPs do, just compare her to Kaoruko--yes--they’re only one letter off from each other) means that it’s extremely hard for INFPs to naturally advocate for themselves...so instead, they retreat into their own imaginations where it’s safer (Ne). BUT THEY’RE SO INCREDIBLE!! THERE’S SO MUCH THERE TO RESPECT AND ADMIRE!! *shakes her like maracas* IF YOU WOULD JUST SHOW US!!!!!!! (and this is her whole arc in the anime i don’t need to tell her lol). It’s actually so interesting how she and Karen’s Fi and Ne escapism manifests in their respective introverted/extroverted personalities. These two really are more similar than most of us think!

I love INFPs so, so much because they’re like sleeping giants. Once they get a hold of and develop that inferior extroverted Thinking it’s over - nobody else can compare. They’re like the characters in video games that start off super weak, and then you blink and suddenly they’ve become the most powerful units near the end of the game.

Kagura Hikari: INTJ

ENFP’s stereotypical partner (I swear every other reserved person A/sunshine person B couple in fiction is this type pairing) and while it’s tropey it works because these two types play off each other so well. I actually originally had her pegged as an ISTJ, but I think that her bullheadedness earlier in the anime is more indicative of Ni being stubborn. Hikari is cagey, reserved (tert Fi/inferior Se), and an incredibly high-achieving individual (dominant Ni sets specific goals, auxiliary Te implements). Her tertiary Fi (which INTJs LOVE to keep locked up, right here, forever, until they die) is so obvious as you slowly learn just how much of a sap/romantic she is. It’s her weaker Fi that holds that sentimentality towards Starlight after all these years, her Fi that struggles to hold on to that childhood promise, her Fi that has her following Karen (and eventually Mahiru as well) around like a duckling (though we initially get the impression that the dynamic is the other way around). She grows to care deeply for all the other girls around her and that’s all her tertiary introverted Feeling getting stronger as the story progresses! Like so many people in the fandom have realized, she isn’t a mean person, she’s just socially awkward. Not too much to say on her inferior Se, that mostly manifests in how she’s a homelier person who would rather stay in than go out, and doesn’t actively try to seek new experiences (this was what had me thinking ISTJ at first).

Junna Hoshimi: ISTJ

Karen’s polar opposite - they actually share the exact same functions, just in reverse! So Junna leads with introverted Sensing where it’s Karen’s weakest, and Karen leads with extroverted Intuition where it’s Junna’s weakest. And we see this play out in their revue!

Junna is one of my favorite characters in the series for a reason and it’s because it’s SO rare to see the ISTJ in a rebellious role. Si is all about following and respecting order, and Junna breaks all of that to create her own! We see that dominant Si show up in literally every other facet of her life, though - from her by-the-book attitude to her stringency with deadlines and tardiness to her respect for the creatives of old - Shakespeare, Nietschze, etc. She’s an incredibly bright and successful student as well (any type can be of course but the “kind of student” she is is very much Te supporting Si - super studious and placing heavy weight on studying and getting straight A’s). And her Fi is SO GOOD. SO SO SO SO GOOD AND SO APPARENT - MUCH stronger than IxTJ’s sibling Hikari’s at the start of the anime. That’s where the rebellious part of her spirit comes from - her values, her strong sense of self and desire for autonomy (EXTREMELY Fi thing - Fi is all about the self, how I feel about something, what I want out of this, not feeling trapped by others’ expectations, etc.). Inferior Ne manifests in how she struggles with improvisation, ends up tunnel visioning (see her revue with Karen), and can sometimes struggle to accept new ideas or ways of doing things (Junna works so hard, but it’s evident in the anime and a lot of her starira bond stories that she can end up getting stuck in her old ways if someone else doesn’t come in to offer a new perspective -- see her Jekyll bond story dialogue with Maya!). Another example we see is when her extroverted xSTJ sibling Akira, who has Ne a step higher than her but understands where she’s coming from with their shared functions, guides her towards using it in the High Priestess bond story!

Nana Daiba: ESFJ

Textbook ESFJ!! Caring, motherly, affable; Fe doms are always looking to appeal to the group and make sure that everybody feels comfortable (and, likewise, are very keen on suppressing their own insecurities/emotions/discomforts). Nana is not ambitious for ambition’s sake, and in fact suppresses her own talents to appeal to the group. As for that Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :) Si aux… :)

Unhealthy Si can manifest as an extreme fixation on past experiences and a fear of moving on (we’re going to see this later with Si-dom Fumi too). Her poor tertiary Ne had gotten absolutely quashed by her stronger auxiliary Si in the anime - it doesn’t want to change anything! Claudine and Maya can be the leads again. We don’t need to modify the script. The first one was already perfect, why are we risking failure by changing things?! Also, holding herself back for the sake of everyones’ happiness is so Fe dom it hurts. If you want to see the difference between ESFJ and ENFJ (the two Fe-doms of MBTI), compare her to Michiru, who also suppresses her talents -- yes to cultivate the other girls’ (specifically Akira’s) brilliance but also for the sake of her ulterior motives to one day create her own troupe (aux Ni at work vs. Nana’s aux Si). Nana’s is more deferrant, but still just as ferocious - she’ll defeat Maya 60 times over to get what she wants. And the craziest thing is that all of this comes out of love and fear - she’s scared, and all of that is coming from her unhealthy Si aux. Junna is a very good example for her to follow for healthier Si.

Claudine Saijo: ENTJ

“DON’T IGNORE MY LINES!!!” ENTJs LOVE being at the top - the leaders of the pride, the people in charge, the ones you have to answer to (AND she’s a Leo too. Jfc girl pick a struggle LMAOOOOO). You get the picture - except Claudine isn’t in that position. Maya is. Claudine doesn’t even get a revue or her own song, because she’s Maya’s eternal second. This is a really, really uncomfortable spot for an ENTJ to be in, and it’s evident in how hard she pushes herself - and how antsy she gets whenever Maya is around. But Claudine never blames an outside system or factors like Karen (inferior Si) does for her situation - she just gets angry and more driven to succeed, bulldozing her way to the finish line (dominant Te-tertiary Se interacting). The tragedy of her character is that she will never surpass Maya, so we see her Ni begin to reframe achieving the very top to becoming the only star in Maya’s eye (little does she know that she’s already succeeded). That ripping off of her cloak at the end of the revue duet - “the only loser here is me” - is her inferior Fi poking its head out. At the end of the day, Claudine is an interesting character because she’s a walking contradiction. She’s a star denied a spotlight, but she isn’t a failure either, so she’s forced to grapple with this ambiguous, there-but-not-quite-there middle ground. It’s one big identity crisis in the making, and it’s clear to see why so many people relate to her and love her as a character - a lot of us can empathize with never quite being satisfied, and looking up towards heights that can appear insurmountable.

Maya Tendo: INFJ

She seems so normal and established and then you look closer and realize there’s something seriously wrong with her and oh my god where did this massive god complex come from. Typical Ni dom

From her detached, more “mature” personality to her altruistic and often surprisingly keen insight towards people, she has so many key makings of an INFJ. That dominant Ni is strong in Maya - everything is poured into theatre. Everything. From her hobbies to her interests to her personality, everything Maya does in her life is deliberate and all of it is for the sake of theatre. Ni bitches LOVE to fixate on just one thing, and for Maya, that is the stage. “I have no need for those who lack willpower...Come climb up here if you have the resolve...A single step forward is a step closer to my dream” is just...yeah I’m being redundant. Dominant introverted intuition. Ni Ni Ni Ni. This girl embodies it - while Hikari is also a Ni-dom, Maya shows a TON more of it than her (can’t say I blame the writers - Ni is probably the most difficult function to write because it requires thinking so many steps ahead for your character). We can see a marked difference between INFJs and INTJs here in how Maya and Hikari practice solitude - Hikari purposely isolates herself from Karen to avoid hurting her, while Maya purposely isolates and crafts herself into an untouchable God to serve as an inspiration to others (auxiliary extroverted Feeling). Want to see how this looks with the INFJ’s extroverted sibling, the ENFJ? Look at how Michiru crafts Akira’s public image. That’s Ni and Fe at work, just in different priority slots (Maya is Ni dominant, Michiru is Fe dominant - they share the same functions, just flipped on the I/E axis). That tertiary Ti is very prevalent too - Maya mostly keeps her thoughts to herself, and loves to mull over things. She definitely isn’t the first one to shout out an answer, she prefers to think things over.

One interesting comment that really stood out to me on her personality database page was how she’s an INFJ with an INTP persona in the anime, and I think I agree (INFJs and INTPs tend to present similarly and can be easily confused with each other anyway)! But I want to add on to that - I think that INTP presentation is her auxiliary Fe at play crafting a persona that better coincides with Claudine’s, as ENTJ/INTP matchups are extremely compatible (not saying Maya was thinking about MBTI LOL but rather she brought out and exemplified aspects of her personality that would better complement Claudine’s - their partnership is not a one-way street at all! Maya does so much for her!!). Just compare anime Maya to stageplay Maya, where she gives no headway and is absolutely brutal to Claudine.

Futaba Isurigi: ISTP

Futaba is such a great example of what a healthy ISTP can look like! Dominant Ti shows up in how she communicates with others - she's honest, direct, and to the point, but it's never utilized in a way that’s mean-spirited (contrary to how her girlfriend often can be) - it’s just how she communicates. Claudine (a Te dom which works SO well with Ti) actually points out in Starira that this is why they get along so well. Aux Se shows up in her physicality - her love and strength is in stage fights, she's into mechanics with her motorcycle and does all the maintenance herself, etc. Funnily enough, I think that tert Ni, while a slot above Fe, is actually Futaba’s least developed trait (or, at least, the one she's most guarded about) - she went into Seisho to follow Kaoruko, and her aux Se dominates that tert slot and gives her a … little bit of a lackadaisical attitude? Obviously not as much as someone like Karen, but in many senses she doesn't outwardly display a strong fear or anxiety towards the future like the other girls (completely understandably) do - and it’s that tert Ni getting angry when she feels as if Kaoruko is stagnating in her plans. There’s some inklings of her own plan for the future, but Futaba’s own individual plans are mostly kept to herself, so we don’t know how much or little she’s done about them. (I have more to add but will not continue as I’m venturing into movie spoilers territory, but for those that have watched/read them, try to draw your own conclusions based on what I’ve said!). I think that having such a close relationship with Kaoruko is what pushed her to develop that inferior Fe so early to support her girlfriend's dominant Fi. I actually originally had her typed as ESTP for how strong her Fe was (ESTPs have it a slot higher than their introverted siblings), but she really doesn’t strike me as an extrovert, and ISTPs with developed Fe can be very warm, affable people too!

Kaoruko Hanayagi: ISFP

“Kaoruko Hanayagi’s dream is world domination.”

Kaoruko is such a great example of what an unhealthy ISFP can look like! LMAOOO but no, I’m dead serious - if you want to know what unhealthy introverted Feeling looks like, look to Kaoruko. Everything is me me me me me me me, to hell with what anyone else wants (if you want to compare unhealthy Fe to unhealthy Fi, compare Nana and Kaoruko). Tertiary Ni shows up to support Fi in how surprisingly sharp she is towards other people - what makes them tick, exactly where to hurt, their inner thoughts and feelings (see her bathtub conversation with Mahiru).

BUT THAT DOMINANT Fi IS ALSO SUCH A POWERFUL THING. That “me me me me me me” is going to turn into “my vision, and what I want to create, and what I’m going to do” (once that inferior Te finally develops - which Kaoruko is going to be forced to put work into eventually). This is why, like Mahiru, I think that Kaoruko is seriously going to blossom later on in life - ISFPs and INFPs, the Pisces of the MBTI, have this weird penchant for going under the rader and then becoming insanely fucking successful OUT OF NOWHERE??? Like, they aren’t super motivated and driven with a specific plan like Ni-strong xNxJs, or disciplined and hardworking like Te-strong xSTJs, but???? You blink and suddenly they’re millionaires with four creative projects going on simultaneously (but if they get bored with any of them they’ll drop them instantly - you could not pay me all the money in the world to be an IxFP’s manager it must be an absolute nightmare <3). Just...legends out of nowhere? Rihanna is an ISFP Pisces so I have real world evidence to back this up.

#revue starlight #woof #seisho #some are longer than others but i promise it wasn't intentional :( just a matter of when i got to them (i went out of order) #for example Karen and Mahiru were written first so there's a lot less on them. Maya I JUST finished writing 10 minutes ago so I could #publish Seisho and you can tell by the length of hers how much I got into the swing of things LMAO #aijo karen #tsuyuzaki mahiru #kagura hikari #saijo claudine #tendo maya #isurigi futaba #hanayagi kaoruko #daiba nana #hoshimi junna #i love nana so so much but couldn't write enough for her. idk why she was giving me a block...

[degenvs3000w22]

Science and Nature

I am not sure how I feel about science. When I was a child, science seemed like the only thing for me. It could satisfy my curiosity about the natural wonders of this world and get me an animal related job in the future. That was it then. It was decided. I was going to become a veterinarian and learn as much as I could about helping animals. By the way, I made this decision when I was in grade 2 with a very naïve version of the world in mind. When you get older, you start to see the world for how it really is. Science is relentless, becoming a veterinarian takes at least 8-10 more years of schooling after high school, and your degree has had very little relevance to nature or animals so far. Just the concepts and ideas of animals. That is what angers me the most. I got into science to help animals and so far, all I have learned is how scientists perceive animals when running experiments on them.

Learning proper scientific methods for discovering new things in this world is a rigorous and timely thing. The proper protocol is to come up with a question regarding the natural order of this world, for instance, “Will increasing urbanization in Southern Ontario effect the mortality rate of local coyote populations to the point of extinction?”. To answer this question, you must invent a possible explanation and prediction for why and how it occurs, ex. “Increasing urbanization will increase mortality rates in coyote populations” with the prediction, “increasing urbanization will increase the number of human-coyote interactions which will result in more conflicts. This will lead to large community-based culls and the extinction of the species.” Then, you need to gather data. This requires entering their habitat, their home, to systematically find the distribution of the species, finding the number of dens located near communities, running tests on the diets of this population to find out how much human garbage the population consumes, the tests can go on and on forever. Finding every single detail out about the community.

However, do these types of studies need that much human involvement within the habitats of these animals? The stomach contents of animals can be analysed in a lab using several methods but how accurate is it? Would is not be much easier to set up trail cameras from every perspective you could possibly need? Wouldn’t you be able to observe and measure exactly how much they are eating of that one exact thing you are seeing on the screen? If we didn’t have the technology we have today, this would all need to be done just through personal observation alone. That’s what the indigenous people did and what some of us still do today. Some people still live off of the land and most of their time is spent observing nature such as hunters. Wouldn’t it be easier to ask these experts for specific information on the species they have been living with and observing their whole lives? Rather than rushing to find information in a cruel and gruesome way, why not observe slowly and have a more in-depth personal observation technique? This could be another crucial way to bring nature back into people’s live’s. By teaching our young scientists to have a more hands-off, personal, and in-depth observational perspective.

We should be teaching our students to spend hours and hours outside observing nature to find the answers that satisfy their curiosity. Our modern students do not get the ability to develop their own minds and create their own world, as they are only taught to work off of the progress of our history and to keep our society functioning the same way it always has. Well I personally don’t care for a lot of our actions in the past, and I feel that our students should be able to have the opportunity to make their own way in this world, as our ancestors were once able to. And that starts with the scientist’s. Scientists propel the world’s education forward and set the pace for the world’s development. Since it is with our knowledge, that development is able to progress. But it also goes the other way. With our knowledge, we can also have real environmental progress. If we were able to slow down and teach our successors the value of personal observation, that would be the first step in the right direction.

[queenofnohr]

Fate/Grand Order Saito Hajime Line Masterpost

Gotta pay my respects to the Shinsengumi as always.

I really do recommend reading these along with a video showcasing his lines if you don’t have him since his voice acting is phenomenal and also some of what he says is clearly like... under his breath or there’s a tone shift or whatever (for example, his lines with Okita sound rather harsh if you’re under the assumption he’s always speaking directly to her).

As always these lines aren’t in the order they appear in on his card page, but the order you’re most likely to hear them in.

One other note is - I left “makoto” untranslated when in direct reference to the Shinsengumi flag/ideals. Makoto means “truth” and it would still work translated as that, but within context it means... more than that. Not just truth, but ideals, what it means to be Shinsengumi, etc. and I thought cutting it down to simply truth was doing it a disservice.

Summoning: Hajime Saito, Captain of the Shinsengumi’s Third Division here. You can call me your beloved Hajime-chan. Wait, no, like I thought that’s no good. So you’re Master-chan, huh? Well that explains the look on your face. Oh, right, I’m not great with formalities so… with that, regards to ya.

Level Up 1: Thanks a bunch, Master-chan. Level Up 2: Thanks for that.

Ascension 1: How do I look? Pretty swanky, right? I looked like this back in the day since I was a police officer. I’m pretty used to wearing Western clothes because of that. Ascension 2: Oh, these swords? This one is a wakizashi, and the other is a naga-wakizashi. The longer the wakizashi the better, and the Commander encouraged me by saying, “That suits you surprisingly well!” …...Ha, a sword suiting me.* Ascension 3: To think there’d come a day when I’d wear this again…… A lot of things happened, but in the end I came back. It’s been so long, and no time at all…… There’s nothing more to say. Ascension 4: Thank you, really, for sticking with me this far even though I’m like this. What’s with this? I’m not the type to get all choked up. There must really be something wrong with me. …...Anyway. I’m entrusting my sword to you. —Hajime Saito, Invincible Blade and Captain of the Shinsengumi’s Third Division reporting in.

My Room Generic 1: Are you heading out? Then I’ll tag along with you. What? I won’t get in your way, so do as you like. My Room Generic 2: I’m no good at serving under people, I’m no good at not serving under people…… I just go with the flow. If I force it, it’ll just leave. My Room Generic 3: So I’m your subordinate, huh, Master-chan? Since I’m a Servant. But, sorry, I won’t go to my death. What’s the saying? If a human dies, they lose. My Room Generic 4: School of swordsmanship? Nah, I don’t do anything like that, I just swing my sword around carelessly when the time comes. It’s not anything as impressive as a school of swordsmanship. Well, if I had to call it anything it’d be the “Invincible Style.” There’s no theory to crossing swords in the first place. It’s just something I’m crazy about. That is, killing each other.

With Okita: Well, if it isn’t Okita-chan. You doing okay? What, can’t a guy ask what’s up? You always were Ms. Sickly after all. Well, in any case it’s a relief we’re on the same side. It was only you I never wanted to meet again…... With Hijikata: Vice Commander, you still…… No. It’s fine. It’s better if you stick to your “makoto.” Just as I must try to overcome my “makoto.” With Izou: So that’s Man-Slayer Izou, huh. His sword skills are certainly a big deal. Calling him a genius is no exaggeration. But the most important thing - the ability to get on in the world - is something he totally lacks. It’s all over when you die. With Ryouma: Ryouma Sakamoto of Tosa. I didn’t think I’d see you here. But if you’re not an enemy I guess I’ll thank you. That’s right, you always were quite the charmer. By the way, can you introduce me to the beautiful woman accompanying you? …...Huh? I have a bad feeling about this. With Musashi (any version): So even Miyamoto Musashi and Sasaki Kojirou are here. What’s with this place? Can a minor swordsman like me even get a day in the limelight? With all these legendary swordsmen around…… For once I wish I was on the other si— Woah, that was out of character for me. I’d better quit while I’m ahead. With Okita Alter: You’re Okita-chan!? Nonono, what’s with that look, what’s with that sword, what’s with those tits!? …...Huh? “As an Alter it’d be better to call me Majin-san”? Wow, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Whatever. By the way, how about a drink tonight? We can eat soba or whatever too. With Kagetora: So the great war hero of Echigo is a woman, huh. But Nobunaga is also a woman, so that’s not really surprising…… No, isn’t it normal to be surprised!? But, well, it seems people also thought Okita-chan was a man……

Likes: Stuff I like? That’d be playing around. I mean I look like a freeloader, right? That’s really how I am. …...Eh? You can see it? That’s unexpected. Oh, that’s right, you know the croquette soba I ate at the cafeteria? I like that. Dislikes: Stuff I hate? I’ve always been bad at dealing with stubborn guys. Weren’t those types all around me? I don’t know who you’re talking about. The Vice Commander? Oh, he isn’t stubborn. —It’s more like he’s pure. Holy Grail: The Holy Grail? It can make whatever you wish for come true? Wow~ That sounds shady even to me. Well, “don’t knock it till you try it,” and all. So why don’t you try it? If it works out, I’ll try it too.

Bond 1: Master-chan? There’s no need to worry about me, right? I’m just a guy who sides with the strong and gets carried along with the tide. No, really. Bond 2: Haa~ you’re so serious Master-chan. Aren’t you tired of it? Though even if you wanted to run away, you couldn’t. There, there, it’s okay; I’m in the same boat too. Bond 3: Look, at the end of the day, I didn’t follow the Commander or the Vice Commander. I’m an unreliable guy. So, Master-chan, don’t care about me and use me as you like and throw me away when you like. I’d like for it to be like that, too. Bond 4: —Huh? Oh, sorry. I was thinking. What, it’s not a big deal. I was wondering if it was okay to just go on as things are now. Then, I decided. That I’ll go as I am now. Don’t worry, since I’m one of the Shinsengumi that survived. Bond 5: My “makoto” is only my own. It’s the “makoto” of freedom that isn’t bound to anyone. Master-chan…… No, Master. This is my true nature. Serving someone and swearing my loyalty to them doesn’t suit me. So I will help you in accordance with my “makoto.” As long as you remain you.

Event: “Woah, looks like an event is going on. Shouldn’t you get out there? You should play while you can, ‘cause you can’t play when you’re dead. I’ve said it for a long time now, “Life is short, so play around while you’re young.” Right? Birthday: Oh, you’re here. Your birthday is today - congratulations. …...That said, I didn’t get you anything. Sorry, but I’m not that thoughtful. Oh, that reminds me - I’m not saying this is a substitute, but are you going to eat soba? If so, I’ll treat you to croquettes.

Battle Start 1: It’ll be fine, after all you have the invincible Hajime-chan on your side. …...What? Battle Start 2: Well, I hope these guys are weak. Battle Start 3: I’m Hajime Saito, Captain of the Shinsengumi’s Third Division. If you want to flee, flee quickly. …...Well, I won’t let you escape, but even so.

Card Select 1: This one? Card Select 2: ……Okay Card Select 3: Yeah, yeah

Attack 1: Hah! Attack 2: There and there and there! Attack 3: This is how to use a sword! Attack 4: There we go. Attack 5: Take this! Attack 6: There!

Extra Attack 1: Dodge it? …...You can’t! Extra Attack 2: Hoy, hoy, hoy, hoy…… it’s over! Extra Attack 3: Sorry, but this is as far as you go. …...Die.

Skill 1: Well, let’s take it easy. Skill 2: Now then, shall I kill? Skill 3: I got too carried away.

NP Select 1: I’ll show you…… an invincible blade! NP Select 2: Well then, could you step back, Master-chan? NP Select 3: You think you can take this sword? …...You’ll die if you do.

NP 1: It doesn’t matter what technique you use. Only the strong will win. …...Like me— Haugh! NP 2: Good grief. Well then…… Here I come! —This is…… the end! NP 3: Without form, it is intangible, flowing, it is infinite, and thus my sword is— invincible!

Damage 1: Oh shit! Damage 2: Ouch! Damage 3: Are you for real!? Damage 4: tch!

Defeated 1: There’s no way I could lose…… They always said I was the Invincible Blade…… Defeated 2: It was my rule to never lose a match…… I’ve lost my edge…... Defeated 3: Sorry…… Everyone……

Victory 1: My rule is to never lose a match. That’s what it means to be invincible. Victory 2: *sigh* That was an unexpectedly troublesome job. Master-chan, are you safe? Victory 3: Right, arrest anyone who’s still breathing! Third Division, withdraw!

-

* History lesson! While this could be in reference to Kondou Issami (the Commander in question), his talking about being on the police force gives me reason to believe he’s talking about his time after the Shinsengumi as Fujita Gorou (he did serve as part of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department until he retired in 1890). In that case, this story in particular is about he was the only person authorized to carry a katana (naga-wakizashi are almost identical to katana) after the fall of the Tokugawa. It also puts his tone shift in perspective when listening to the line itself - he goes from relaying a work story to reflecting on said story near-bitterly because of course a sword would suit him. After all, he was a part of the Shinsengumi (which his boss would not know about).

#long post #my translations #fgo #fate grand order

[jae-canikeepyou]

| muse | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: art student!jaehyun + art student!yn

a/n: thought this on a whim whilst reminiscing my art portfolio, so we’ll see how you’ll like this with yuno in it. not the best i’ve written but hope you enjoy reading 💞😉 ~j

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with jaehyun, there were three things that happened uncontrollably. one was he caused your heart to skip; two, your chest to feel all giddy; and three, your stomach to capsize. why you may ask? it was his very presence in the art academy which had heads turning and lips to whisper words of awe. he was labelled and called a prodigy.

be it in any medium of art, he was blessed to have such a talent that his parents thought it’d be a waste if not enhanced or put attention to. even your professors favored him and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t jealous. despite his princely looks, he could sometimes be a total snob. he’d be in a good mood the first hour and then changed completely in the next. oh the duality, you couldn’t understand him at all.

though question marks continued to fill your head, let’s just say you had a tad advantage compared to girls who were overly thirsting for him; he was your classmate, a major in fine arts. sometimes you unconsciously found yourself sniffing his perfume each time he helped you with the shading of portrait drawings you worked upon. he was that close. as much as you loved seeing him almost every day, you hated at the fact you still didn’t know the ways to calm your loving facial expression towards him.

it was a funny sight —at least to your friends— that they could see how elongated your nose grew every time you deny your feelings for him. yet as time passed the possibility of your admiration might turn into romantic feelings instead. there wasn’t a need to prove to you since your friends have pointed it out already.

but you yourself wasn’t too sure about it.

“please,” hyejin popped with a huge round of an eyeroll at your oblivion. legs crossed as she chewed her bubblegum. “y/n, admit that you like him. it isn’t that hard to say out loud.”

other students, including your studio tutor held in their giggles in the midst of the silence within the room. true enough hyejin was the mood maker.

her words made you stop painting the colours that were meant to accentuate the highlights of the subject. “i’m not like you who’s very expressive in words.” you replied, taking few peeks at your surroundings in case anyone eavesdrop.

hyejin wasn’t supposed to be in the studio today. she was a literature student where writing poetry was her forte. but because your tutor appreciated her effort to promote the visual arts department in the school paper, her going to the studio with you became a normal thing.

“it doesn’t have to be in words. like, i don’t know? paint some canvas and pour out your feelings through colours? yellow’s joy or purple’s dazzling or red is love-” she stopped as you gave her an annoyed gaze. “i’m sure he’ll get it. he’s not called a prodigy for nothing.”

“painting is not done on a whim, hyejin.” you emphasised, not noticing the stress put upon your work. “it takes time and thinking and creativ-”

“yeah yeah,” she made her bubble burst, which by the way irritated you since it gave off the impression that she wasn’t listening to you at all. “abstract seems so random though. no thinking there.”

you pointed the brush at her, yet careful enough that it doesn’t touch her nose. if another word comes from her mouth, you wouldn’t hesitate staining it. “sis, shapes are used instead of virtual reality, so abstract still needs thinking. you just express it differently.” hearing this, hyejin paused for a while before deciding which reaction to give, and with that you were satisfied into silencing her for a while. “now you know how i feel when i don’t understand shakespeare’s ‘love looks not with eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid painted blind’.”

she let out a scoff, “pfft, you’re the cupid in that quote. you can’t even see that you like mr. prodigy so much.”

jaehyun gently opened the door and handed a paper slip to the tutor, which apparently was a doctor’s certificate. due to his arrival, hyejin elbowed you so hard that its force caused you to jolt in your seat then knocking two of the glassed jars placed on the narrow deck of your easel.

the tutor looked at your direction, and lowered his specs at the noise. flustered than you ever were in your entire life, you took the dust pan. you tried your best to not match eyes with jaehyun who was now smiling from second hand embarrassment. at farthest decibel your ears could handle, you could hear hyejin sneering with huffed laughs.

“i’m gonna kill you.” you mouthed from a table away and gave her a warning look. you gestured the phrase, followed by a scowl to refer her teasing tongue.

“i’ll help, y/n.” jaehyun offered, but you assured him it was fine. “what’re you working on?” he asked as you both walked back to the tables, he took out his tools and unfinished work.

this time was the season of cramming hours into a tight schedule, there were many initial stages/assignments due and portfolios to be completed. you guessed it was natural for you both to update each other regarding progress. “just giving more highlights and tweaks, then i’ll start on the portraits.”

he only pressed a smile, a breathy chuckle as a response while he focused on his art. “do you still need my help on shading?”

“i think i got the hang of it. thanks.” you damped the brush with water.

“alright, if you need me, i’m just here.”

your eyes shot down to your pockets, quickly answering the phone to quiet down the “supposedly” soundless vibration. and you wished you didn’t fished out the device if you knew that the message was from hyejin.

[18:45] hyejin: damn it y/n, confess already! 🤪

[18:45] you: if you could shut up maybe i will?? i could hear your voice haunting me 🙃

[18:46] hyejin: if there’s no progress today, i’m so gonna take action & tell him myself 😌

[18:47] you: ugh anything but that pls 😣

the thing with being associated with the arts was that time immediately had gone passed when you’re so concentrated. everything else faded away and in that momentum, it was just the art and you. jaehyun felt this once he picked up his brush or pencil. voices in his head whispered and guided him what to do with the creativity still yet to be shown in the world.

among all the students he bonded with, there was one whom perked his interest..

you.

as mentioned, his current surroundings blurred whilst he was sucked into another dimension of concentration. but you went there with him and appeared clear. seemed a scene out of an alternate reality in his perspective, or dramatic to some people. he was intrigued.

since knowing you, he expected to sought this mutual interest deeper. if he was the beautiful, detailed canvas everyone saw in an exhibition, you were the opposite; abstract, unpredictable and rough, someone who was overlooked because others couldn’t understand the depths and entirety of you.

finishing the last layer of the painting, you stretched to sooth the numbness. the professor reminded about the last few minutes before wrapping up the class and, he handed the room keys to you. for this tutorial, students have the choice to stay behind or leave. hyejin left with the others, leaving you alone with jaehyun. whether she did that on purpose, she’d do anything to let you be alone with him.

“oh? you’re done with yours?” jaehyun shifted sideways to take a better view of your work. he looked satisfied with the way his dimples hollowed. “hm. my advise is effective.”

“yeah, you’re a life saver.” you sighed as you looked at how completed the artwork was, then trailing your eyes to him again.

“i’m proud of you.” he winked, only to blush afterwards when his stomach growled. “i wish you didn’t hear that.”

coincidently, you tossed your wallet in the air. “good timing, i’m just about to head out to the cafeteria. want anything? my treat because you helped me.” you extolled with your mood in completely positivity. jaehyun became your inspiration and for now you weren’t able to bring yourself to tell him that.

hopefully soon though— when you have the courage.

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the sleepiness in your eyes only needed ten percent more to push your lids down, the queue was unexpectedly long at this hour. it was only until minutes later had you known that another department organised a party nearby. the wait for the order would be troublesome; that’d be in the fact there were girls right behind, their gaze burning into your skin as if you were an enemy of theirs. and somehow you knew,

they might be jaehyun’s admirers.

they whispered to each other, words audible enough for your hearing and you pretended to be listening to music.

and how you wished you should’ve.

“do you know why jaehyun took fine arts?” one asked.

an intrigued response caught you walking on a tight rope. this can’t be good. “sounds like you know the reason.”

“it’s been spreading around recently..” there was a pause that had you wondering even if you knew you shouldn’t believe in any of rumours from them. “i heard the studio has this session to draw the human body and the figures. like y’know.. no clothes?”

sigh, there wasn’t even any classes for those this semester, you thought.

few giggles were heard before they spoke again. “you’re saying he’s perverted?”

“maybe? i wouldn’t be surprised if it were true.”

“isn’t that kinda hot? his eyes starting into-”

you nearly dropped jaehyun’s food and trip over an extension wire hearing that. breathing slowly and steadily, you convinced yourself that what you heard was false. he wasn’t the type of guy they assumed he was.

as much as you wanted to prove them wrong, it wasn’t your place to speak out when the friendship you have with him was not to the level of best friends. so you rushed back to the studio, not noticing your blown-away hair and burning face. what was amusing after hearing the tea, you didn’t know why you reacted in that manner. did you leave because you couldn’t stand eavesdropping any longer? or did you run due to the fact the fantasies they had were about to enter your mind?

the door was opened with a force that jaehyun looked up from his work, smiling at your quick purchase. “whoa careful there. you didn’t have to run.” he chuckled and went to your table. he took his favourite spicy cake and placed it on top heavily. the force he exerted with his hands was the total opposite to when he dealt with art. somewhere in you, you’d say it was a 0.1 percent a turn-off.

“hey, it’s food. handle with care, it’s a blessing.” you said, munching on your share of the dishes.

jaehyun clasped his palms together, bowed his head and closed his eyes. he faced you and you sat there with a confused look. “thank you y/n, you’re an angel for treating me.”

soon after, you received a message from your professor about taking out some of the tools needed for tomorrow. holding the sandwich wrap between your lips, you took a closer look at the right keys before unlocking the storage room, opening the door afterwards.

it was at least the size of two toilet cubicles, not even close to a room’s walk-in closet. the thin cabinets against both sides of the wall were two feet, and the remaining space in the middle could fit a person’s leg, stretched out. the new set of canvases were placed on the top shelf. for someone like you, it wasn’t possible to reach them on tiptoes. you grabbed a chair and stacked two tins of paint for your feet to stand upon.

if you still couldn’t reach them.. eh, bummer. disturbing jaehyun who was enjoying his meal would be rude. you weren’t that type of person to suddenly feel as if you were already close to someone. the icky and dusty feeling on your fingertips nearly had you gagging.

“jaehyun?” you called out, apparently you’ve given up in trying another attempt. “i need a hand.”

there was a long pause as to why he didn’t respond immediately. maybe you should’ve have disturbed him? but you soon rolled your eyes when a mannequin’s hand was thrown to you. his snickers was supposedly an adorable thing to hear, this kind of wasn’t, because you desperately needed help now. “jeong jaehyun!”

he hummed right after you mentioned his name the second time. “i’m just messing around. but does that mean you’ll treat me again? i helped you.” his voice sounding with excitement.

you nodded, your anger long forgotten but he could tell there was conflict in your head. “i’ll consider it, so help me before i smack you with this plastic hand.” your tone slightly straining since you didn’t feel him entering the room.

“yeah. coming.” he said, giggling at your impatience. as you tried to reach out for the canvases again, the light behind you slowly dimmed.

that was weird. “hey, it’s getting dark in here.” you said.

before he could say anything, the door slowly closed and that made you raise a brow. he noticed this too and looked into your eyes when the light within the room soon disappeared. “ah sorry, i must’ve kicked the door stopper.” even in the dark, you could tell he was flustered from his actions. “i’ll open it.”

however his groans and vigorous sounds from the door knob stated otherwise. “what?” you heard him raise his voice.

“what’s wrong?” you hopped off the tins and grabbed the knob, twisting it clockwise then anti-clockwise. “it’s jammed.”

you both panicked because the night wasn’t getting any younger. there were things to finish and deadlines were drawing closer. before, you thought of procrastinating even when necessary. but procrastinating like this wasn’t part of the plan.

how was it possible for the knob to be jammed? the door wasn’t closed in an impact that would cause its components to be broken. sure jaehyun was reckless and couldn’t control his strength but that really wasn’t the issue here.

the actual issue was that you were going be stuck with him for who knows until when. stuck in a sense there were just enough space for two people. jaehyun fumbled his pockets in search of his phone, an annoyed groan told you it was bad news. “call someone. my battery just died and my powerbank’s outside.”

quickly you fished out your phone, only to find that it had the same fate. “ugh i have 10% left.” you slumped your sides to the shelves like there was no hope. “i’ll try to text hyejin.”

“hm i hope she’s not too far from the campus.” jaehyun leaned against the shelves opposite from you, his expression definitely amused with your reaction. a scoff of disbelief escaped your dry lips, sliding the phone to the shelf as you put your hair on one side. “that doesn’t sound good. what did she say?”

for all the things hyejin could do to help you get out of there, she’d rather sit and tease every single nerve of your body. “she said ‘you both just made your own seven minutes in heaven! i’m laughing out loud right now.’”

and for the things you thought jaehyun would disagree with your friend, he didn’t. it surprised you when his held-in giggles came bursting out from his chest. “it’s exciting. don’t you think?” he chuckled. “this is something you see in movies.”

“okay. tell me, what’s exciting about being locked-”

“we can ask each other questions. or any topic you’d like to talk about. i wanna know more about you.” he suggested, shutting you up because if he didn’t, you’d be quite a complainer. jaehyun bent to a squat, later stretching his legs until the soles reached the sides of your hips. “i rarely get the chance to talk to you properly and i guess this is the day, so scoot over.” he gestured you to move aside a little.

“gee i wonder why?” your voice came out sarcastically. “i don’t ignore people unlike a certain someone.”

“just sit down, will you?” jaehyun seemed to take the fact to heart.

you complied and sat exact the same as he did. the tiled floor sent cool to your legs but it didn’t really matter. jaehyun began by asking how you got into art; what motivated you to choose this field. “it’s just a childhood dream of mine to keep expanding my creativity. i wanna teach kids the joy in paint, that we’re not limited to using tools. i started painting with my hands and fingers when i was five.”

“really? i’m the same, except i was three when i painted.” his dimples deepening.

though you did answer him, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him the whole story. you were just par in the arts, an average joe and always felt like your professors tied your wings together to express what you really wanted. every proposal you presented were rejected. if lucky, it still wasn’t good enough. not enough to reach jaehyun’s standards and world.

his shoes hit your hips again, the nudges were light and made you look to him. “your turn.” he said.

your eyes wander the dark room, the thin light from the sides of the door showing the outline of his face. “is it good? being called something you never wanted to be? did you know you’re gifted as a kid?”

“do you want my honest opinion?” he brought one leg to his chest, forearm resting on it as he start to ponder. hearing the soft shuffles from you in agreement, he gulped his dry throat to say the one thing he longed to say.

“i don’t like it.”

beyond speechless. you thought maybe he’d like the feeling of being center of attraction, or praised to have a skill that was out of this world. while you’d like to know what it felt like, it already told you enough that he wouldn’t want to be referred to as a prodigy. “not even a single bit?” alarmed, you squinted your eyes and he shook his head.

“i used to like it at first.. now i don’t,” jaehyun admitted but his face had changed the moment you asked him the one thing he never wanted to look back. “..because i was set apart from kids my age and they view me differently, nor have they ever treated me like every kid in the block.“

he continued how parents would tell him he was ‘inspiring’ or ‘i wish i had a kid like you; dedicated, and talented’. the claim have made him proud, yet this caused insecurity to most of his friends, and they distanced themselves from him. what was once the same ground they stood upon, it had quaked the earth and caused a wide gap. jaehyun hated the feeling of isolation by the will of others. though he had tried many times to reach out to them..

the gap continued to widen.

“there’s not much of a difference now.” he whispered yet audible enough for you to hear. ”i still have less friends. countable with fingers.. on one hand.”

probably the reason why he looked like a snob then.

“i see. so am i?.. part of your ‘friends’?” he heard you ask when reality hits you that you shouldn’t have said your thoughts out loud. closing your eyes for a bit, you heard the shift in his weight, he didn’t answer right away. it was as if he was still finding the words.

but he sat right beside you. “you’re already one when we both entered this classroom. i had a hunch you’ll be one i’ll treasure.”

if anyone was told the way he did just now, it would definitely make them smile. that was his honest opinion and you couldn’t help but smile at his words. he seemed to notice this too and let out a chuckle that was always music to your ears. “should we try to open the door again?” you changed the topic to avoid the awkward smile creeping your face. your hands gripped the knob and jaehyun tugged the hems of your jeans.

“y/n, if you do it further we’ll be damned if hyejin couldn’t open from the outside.” he stood that he was already behind you. “i’m not stopping you from trying though.”

“f-fine.” you leaned against the door, soothing your legs that experienced paresthesia. jaehyun pat your head like he always did whenever you unintentionally embarrass yourself, be it art or not whatsoever. “i just can’t seem to stay still.” oh gosh i don’t know what i’d do if i’m alone with him.

“yeah clearly.” he shrugged.

you had a scowled face and glad he didn’t see it. “the place’s so cramped-” you continued, walking to the chair you once stood on, only to lose balance when the shelves you held for support gave in to collapse from the weight it carried. with weight, the whole furniture wobbled to fall.

in a split second you felt yourself being lifted off the ground, a strong arm wrapping around your frame and saw yourself at the opposing side of the room. jaehyun closed into you as he managed to stop the some items from falling. the entire body of the cabinet covered and trapped you both in a tight place. the furniture tilted right behind him. one small move, the items could injure two and he didn’t want to risk that.

he could feel your breath touch his shirt and with the way you held his clothes, you definitely didn’t see this coming. “are you okay?” he thought there was a possibility of squishing you.

“uncomfortable, but i’ll manage.. somehow.” you honestly replied because there was no point in lying to him.. physically speaking, he’d know what you feel since he himself was also in discomfort. anyway, with your answer, this marked the third silence as there was another one creating yet another gap in the conversation.

okay y/n. you told yourself. you made everything awkward than before. first was you asked whether you were friends, which you already were. second was your stupid and careless behaviour that led to the position you’re both in now.

“what about you?” you asked after seeing the huge frame towering over both of your bodies, mostly onto his. so maybe that was another unnecessary question to ask.

jaehyun gulped and fixed his one of his palms that he gripped on the shelf behind you. you could see his adam’s apple move up and down, struggling to breathe. he pushed backwards to be able to see your face. tilting his head down, that movement alone made you look up. “uncomfortable, but i’ll somehow manage.” he smiled even though you knew he wasn’t.

“you know you’ll earn zero marks if you copy my answer.” you giggled, remembering the professor’s words at the beginning of the semester.

he flicked your forehead as he agreed with the obvious statement. “i heard him. anyway, it’s my turn to ask.”

“are we really playing the game now? can we at least try to figure how to get out of this position?” you began to whine and threw your head back where you hit your head, and you didn’t care how shameful you felt. you knew you wouldn’t stand any longer, your legs started to weaken because of stress— stress from everything jaehyun managed to make you feel, that included the little smiles and especially his hand around your waist.

jaehyun didn’t know why he put his palms behind your head before the incident happened but he knew he had to, with the way you flustered so much. he figured that you weren’t used to situations like these.

however a memory slipped into his mind that you were always your usual self with other guys around. he noticed how you held or hiccuped a breath whenever you both conversed. you and him weren’t particularly close to begin with, just enough to pass as friends and maybe it was his love for art that brought that gap closer to you.

right now? perhaps too close. literally.

“why not? it gets more fun.” he tried to hide the smile creeping his lips; at the sight of how irritated you were beneath him and he actually considered your plead to get you both to safety. but maybe he’d like to enjoy a little bit before doing so. “besides, there’s no way we can move properly with a lot of things blocking our surroundings.”

on both sides, the two of you were encased with large items and materials that were affected by the impact. “tsk.” you tilted your head to avoid looking at him. “at least try to push the huge cabinet?”

he did as he was told and from the grunts and exhausted voice, jaehyun gave up trying. “i don’t think i can. something’s probably caught in the gap between the wall and the furniture.” he tried to look over his shoulder to see if he was right.

“i thought prodigies don’t give up.” your voice sounded challenging to him.

“within the spectrum of our skill, we don’t. but outside our gift, we have the choice to.” jaehyun flicked your forehead again. “we get tired too.”

there was less force against your torso, he was trying to push the furniture again and you bubbled out a giggle. “wow you aren’t as cool as i thought you were.”

jaehyun wanted to hit you as you were being too playful at the wrong time. but as he brought his hand up, you closed your eyes shut to brace for the sharp impact. he sighed and his stomach growled in the most embarrassing way yet. “ugh, it’s because i haven’t eaten enough. i don’t have any strength left.” his stomach then growled louder.

maybe it was due to your bodies against each other’s and the heat starting to roam around the room. jaehyun clicked his tongue at the continuous mimicking of yours. “c’mon y/n i can’t be the only one doing the work here. help me push this heavy thing behind me.”

“uh no? do you think i could even help? don’t make me uncomfortable than i’m already am.” you moaned at the pain starting to grow along your spine. arching your back to avoid the discomfort from the shelves wasn’t really a good idea.

“ah you’re uncomfortable?” he implored with a smirk, his voice quite menacing as he leaned in to squeeze you between the cabinet behind you and himself.

for the whole time jaehyun knew that you didn’t mean whatever you said. he loved how you surprise him everyday and tonight he found you quite cheeky, and adorable too. by quite, it meant that you were like a child wanting to go home. a huff from him felt like the gust of wind. “‘i don’t have any strength left’.” you copied his words. seeing his lips pout, it was alright to give in. “will you treat me food if i help?” you returned the question because you treated him.

“you’re lucky you’re cute.” he suddenly said, with a soft chuckle, you knew he was smiling. it had gotten you speechless that it was hard to tell whether he said knowingly or not. “we can buy what the other wants after we get out of here, okay?” his attempt to get the wood off him yet again failed.

you clapped your hands quite hyperactively and squealed as if he asked you out on a date. “oh yay! okay. i wouldn’t want to be rained on for another hour anyway.” you teased, in which he exhaled heavily from his nostrils.

“i’m not that sweaty.” he grumbled, almost vibrating with the exertion of his energy.

“just perspiring.” you added.

he hit your head with his, for sure you’ll have a prominent bruise and that would make you a victim for hyejin for the next few days. or tonight, if she would get you both out. “that’s the same meaning.”

it took less than two minutes to take the weight off his back. jaehyun saw everything in slow motion— he was falling backwards and you, frontwards. “whoa!” for a moment you thought you hit yourself on a wall. that was for a brief second before the impact was replaced by a warm hug.

you checked if he was okay, he became your safe fall and again he saved you when you didn’t ask for it. “i didn’t expect.. i’m sorry.” you pressed your lips realising you were in between his legs.

he hissed at the pain and sat tiredly on the floor, using all of the fabrics of his clothes to wipe the sweat. “it’s okay.” he patted your back.

“right.. this is awkward. i better get off..” you chuckled and dusted your clothes awkwardly but what he said next really caught you off guard.

“do you want to do it?” he queried, taking you back as your head shot up and hit his chin with your forehead.

you blinked several times. “d-do what?” is this another question i won’t be able to answer?

there was a shaky grip on your waist, your heart hammered and you were afraid that he would hear it. “y’know what i’m talking about.” he put the hair strands away so he would be able to see your face under the lines of slim light.

“i don’t?” you choked on your own saliva. what was he talking about?

jaehyun’s breath made you freeze on the spot, along sudden silence. he giggled softly. “such a waste, you even have a perfect body.”

then the conversation from the two girls at the cafeteria entered your mind right when you thought deep. hold on, the rumours can’t be true..

he stood up shortly, cornering you by the door and the lights revealed his eyes, smiling shyly. “you have perfect proportions.” as of now, you were a little nervous. you couldn’t process what you were hearing from your crush’s lips and looked away where you could see hyejin’s figure closing the studio’s door.

finally hyejin’s here. i have to tell him. “uh jaehyu-”

“can you be my model?” he held your hands.

oh shoot it is true?

“i need someone to pose for my next art portrait and you’re the only one i can ask.”

‘well aren’t you quite the deep thinker~’ you could imagine hyejin’s voice telling you off at the back of your mind. you shook your head and shut your eyes for her imaginary presence to go away, making you miss seeing jaehyun’s expression turn to a small pout.

suddenly you felt like your soul left your body. what were you thinking y/n?! erase the thought! cleanse your mind from what you heard from the girls!

now you stopped being an embarrassment, you looked at him. however, before you could answer, the door swung open, causing you both to fall over and adjust to the lights above you. hyejin looked down at the two of you, her bubblegum popping with brows raised. “girl, i texted you back and said i’m opening the door. didn’t you see- oh, did i come at the wrong time?”

jaehyun quickly got on his toes, ears turning red while you covered your face in embarrassment. “this is a misunderstanding hyejin!” he stuttered and fixed his collar. you dug for your phone to check the message, but it died long before.

she blew another bubble and popped. “mhm, i can see that.” she winked at the both of you and turned to leave.

“hyejin!” you whined and clung on her legs.

“i’m leaving!” she singsonged and shook her ankles like you were a bug. “i’m giving you more alone time with your muse!”

“oh my g- you!” you chased her down. “quiet!”

she laughed cheekily and managed to exit the studio, sticking out her tongue and pointed behind you. ‘walk home with him!’ hyejin mouthed, and you couldn’t be more annoyed with her because that was indeed true. what was once a wishful thinking became reality. she knew you more than you did yourself.

as you sighed heavily, it got you hitching a breath that jaehyun might’ve heard and saw the whole thing. you turned around and he was packing his stuff, yours included. the artworks were left untouched since you both would be back here tomorrow. he gave your bag and you chose to not talk because you didn’t have the audacity to do. “so, uh. what were you saying earlier?” you hoped he would forget what he just saw.

“oh y-yeah. lemme just-” he took a deep breath and looked into your eyes. “..rephrase it- wait i’m your muse?”

of course he wouldn’t forget, it just happened. damn you, hyejin! you slouched on a nearby chair and wore your hood. “i was hoping you wouldn’t find out so soon.”

“i’m flattered. thanks.” his dimples hollowed. “i was asking if you could be my reference for my next art piece..” he trailed off recalling that you declined. “..though you shook your head quickly than i thought.”

“huh i did?” your voice affirming. “oh gosh i think i did.. i’m sorry i was hearing hyejin in my head when you said that.”

jaehyun’s eyes widened when all he heard was pure honesty from you. “so will you do it for me?”

“as long as i wear clothes while at it.” you consented with your arms crossed and began to feel heat spread your whole body at the thought of the rumour.

walking along the hallway, only the sounds of shoes grazing the carpet echoed the area. you didn’t know what else to say. he brought you to the nearest convenient store where the campus’ one was closed at the hour. the food you bought turned cold and you couldn’t afford to get sick because of it.

he pulled the chair for you to sit on. “you heard them as well.” he placed his bag down. he was aware of the rumours found around and was shocked to know you knew them too. “they’re not true.”

you propped your chin as he went back to the topic. “i know.” you agreed to his words. “they don’t describe you at all.”

jaehyun sat comfortably, a smirk appearing. “me being your muse fits the description-”

this guy.. “please don’t bring that up.” you pleaded with hands clasped.

“i’m teasing.” he chuckled. “i don’t mind if you refuse want to be my model.” he said. “but i assure i’m not like other artists who paints their naked model. i have a better plan for you.”

he was trying to convince you into his world and you were slowly getting into it. “that’s like saying you really want me to.” you took your wallet and he followed suit.

“what’s wrong with wanting to paint my new muse?” he slid his chair closer to the table; closer so he could see your reactions to his honesty.

when he said that, you never turned away so fast in your life. your chest never thumped so loudly and your eyes fluttered while he continued to press onto his question. 

an assuring smile showed on your lips and he mirrored it, already knowing your response. “nope, nothing wrong at all.” you shyly accepted his request.

jaehyun then stood to get the orders, his fingers warning you that the late dinner would be on him. your heart experienced blossoms and giddiness you hoped it’d stay forever. who knows? maybe being each other’s muse could turn into something more after tonight.  

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