#why did we decide to start dying on a Wednesday

[bluebloodedsystem]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-???

#??? says something #tw caps #pain #existence is pain #why did we decide to start dying on a Wednesday #we'll be fine

[neverthoughtofit]

It's Always The Little Things |1|

|Pairings|: Wednesday Addams x Fem!reader

|Warnings|: none

|Note|: I'm not a native English speaker, so it would be great if you would tell me where I went wrong.

Next part

_

It’s always the little things you and Wednesday have been together. She has shown you the world and made you experience the feelings you have always feared. To repay the debt, you have always saved her life. She still remembers the day she got stabbed…

She can’t decide if she is enjoying the pain or mad at the shadower for subjecting her to this torture.

The picture of you wasn’t clear in her eyes. You ran and slid in front of her. Your hands held her cheeks softly, your eyes timidly looking at her bleeding temple. Your hands fidget around your pocket to find a soft handkerchief. You reach out to her bleeding stomach to apply pressure on it but was immediately blocked by hers.

“I Shouldn't have let them go” her hoarse voice still had some anger. “You've done enough, Wednesday.” You said softly, your eyes dropping to have her permission. She nodded once and you applied pressure. The cloth immediately was soaked with blood. She was bleeding fast. She winced a little and her shoulder dropped towards you.

“I need you…” Wednesday looked at you, what did you just say? “back on your feet, I can’t do this alone” You completed the sentence before she could make her point. You reached out your injured hand for her to hold. She took a look, noticing she wasn’t the only one to bear the pain. She took it but lost her balance standing up and fell on you but you held her by the waist. You took her other hand to wrap your neck and held it.

“Thank you” she said softly, under her breath. “Who are you and what have you done to Wednesday?” you sarcastically commented.

“Shut up”

You chuckled slightly and continued to bear her weight for the rest of the journey.

The whole journey she kept groaning and wincing. You couldn’t hear it anymore, it hurt you in some way you couldn’t comprehend. “It’s okay, we’ll get you some help when we get to Nevermore." “I can-” She fell unconscious and fell from you. “Wednesday!” you hurried to turn her over and check her pulse. You touched her neck it was getting cold and her pulse was low. Your heartbeat paced up when you couldn’t think of anything to help her.

You removed her shoes and started rubbing her feet. “C’mon, please.” You moved to look at her face and held it in your hands. You panted heavily as you thought of something else. You ran over to the forest beside the dirt path where you were. You collected some herbs and went to a stone to beat it into a paste. This might help Wednesday but you weren’t sure. You slid the paste into your hands and ran back to her.

The sight of someone bleeding in front of you was unusual to your daily normal life. There is so much more in life than just being a normal person and Wednesday taught you that. You sat beside her and took in a deep frantic breath. Opening a few of the bottom buttons of her shirt, you rubbed the poultice on her stab wound. You prayed for it to work.

Pulling out your cell, you called Enid. However, there was no network in the middle of the forest. The line was dead. You hoped everything was fine at Nevermore, but deep down you knew, the shadowers that hurt Wednesday would have been taken Nevermore. She shouldn’t have fought them. She shouldn’t. Why did she do that? Why?

The anxiety was kicking in again, the flashbacks of your sister dying in front of you were taking the form of Wednesday’s body. You shook your head and ignored those thoughts. Your whole body was shaking, another episode of psychosis. Frantic movements of your leg, you got up at started walking around.

“Everything’s fine y/n, everything is so fine. She is gonna be okay.”

“Don’t say that! She’s gonna be fine”

“NO! SHUT UP!” your brain was making false realities, your sister in your brain telling you that you were the reason she is dead. All because of you.

“Y/N?” Wednesday said in her monotone voice. You turned to look at her, wondering if she is the real one. “I’m gonna die…” she said, her face now bloodied fully. “because of you” her voice now changing into a low demon voice. You knelt down, face burying between your thighs, covering your ears with your hands as you cried. “Please…stop” you whined.

You felt a cold hand on your shoulder, you jumped and slid back from the grip. “Y/N? Are you okay?” it was Wednesday. She saw your tears and immediately her face softened. She went to touch your knees but you backed away and asked “Are you real?” she knelt in front of you and touched your knees, “I am” You looked around…they were gone, your sister was gone. You wiped your tears and stood up as you breathed heavily. “S-sorry, ar-are you okay?” you asked her and she asked, “How do you know how to make this?”

“My sister” she nodded and wanted to continue to question more but seeing your condition, she decided it would be better later.

_

Want part 2?

#wednesday #enid sinclair #wednsday addams #wednesday 2022 #wednesday netflix #netflix wednesday #wednesday x y/n #wednesday x reader #wednesday x you #wednesday addams x you #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams x y/n #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega #wednesday x fem!reader #wednesday addams x fem!reader #its always the little things au

[ughgoaway]

Dying to know what you would write for y/n’s first Mother’s Day with Matty and Annie

this is so so interesting to think about!!!!

so I think for the first mothers Day when you're with matty, nothing out of the ordinary happens. or nothing out of the ordinary happens to you anyway.

you ask matty a few days before how Annie feels about it, and he casually says, "Oh, she doesn't really mind. she knows it's coming, and to her, it's just another day!" So you treat it like that too.

you don't go out of your way to comment on it or make a big deal. You just get on with your day! the same cannot be said for matty...

he doesn't think Annie feels any way about it, seemingly like her normal bubbly self. But just as he's taking her to bed- she says something.

he feels strange the whole day. this is the first time he's had a girlfriend that annie knows about, and it's an actual serious relationship.

he knows it's way too soon, and you're not Annie's mum, but it kind of feels like you are?? and he's not sure how to feel.

"Did you have a good Mother's Day, Daddy?"

matty pauses and looks at Annie confused before slowly saying, "... yes, I did, sweetheart. why do you ask?"

"You were being weird around y/n allllllll day," Annie answers, organising her toys carefully as she speaks.

matty decided not to share this internal monologue with Annie and simply said, "Oh. I didn't mean to be. I'm just worried about you i think munchkin"

oh.

had he been? matty thought he'd been pretty normal, casual, and cool. but if Annie had noticed- he definitely had not been.

fuck he hope you didn't notice (you didn't, too distracted by trying a new banana bread recipe lol)

"Why?" Annie said with a scrunched up face, matty had to stifle a laugh at her confused face.

"I know it must be hard on days like this because your mummy isn't in our lives. I just want to make sure my best girl is okay. " matty strokes Annie's head as she lies down to sleep.

"I'm fine, Daddy." she says nonchalantly, "Plus, y/n is like my mummy now anyway, so maybe next year we can all have fun"

with that, she drifts off, leaving matty in stunned silence. he truly is just 👁👄👁 for 10 minutes.

he doesn't mention it to you, but he does think about it INTENSELY.

////

now cut to a few years later, you and matty are going strong (perhaps even engaged...) and it's rolling up to mothers Day again.

and this year- you both feel odd.

you really had become Annie's mum. you sent out family cards from the 3 of you, you go to her parent's evenings (when you can slip away from doing them yourself lol) and you have lived with them for a while.

you do everything for Annie and love her endlessly. She feels like your own child.

matty stirs awake and sees you lying there, voice heavy with sleep he asks, "Are you alright, baby? why are you awake?"

so you bring it up to matty.

One night, you're lying in bed awake, and it's far too late, but you're just staring at the ceiling.

in your sleep deprived state, you don't hesitate to get straight to the point, "Am I Annie's mum?"

Well... that was NOT what matty was expecting to hear. this wasn't a topic he thought he'd be tackling at 3am on a Wednesday but, fuck it! here he goes.

"...what brought this up, babe?" matty asks tentatively, pulling you into his chest. you rest your head on him and sigh heavily before speaking.

"Um... I think that really depends on how you and annie feel. from my perspective? yes?" matty sounds unsure as he speaks, feeling like he's walking on egg shells

"I don't wanna scare you or anything, but you are practically her mum." matty pauses for a reply, but you stay silent, the only audible noise being your joint breathing.

"I don't know, with mothers Day coming up, it's just been on my mind. I feel like a mother, I act like a mother, and I do everything a mother does. but am I a mum? I didn't give birth to her, and I wasn't here from the start, so it feels selfish to call myself one and-"

matty shushes you and cuts off your rant before it goes too far, "its not selfish, sweetheart - it's realistic." matty pauses and takes a breath before continuing.

"If it helps, Annie said you were already her mum that very first mothers Day you spent with us. so I wouldn't think too deeply about it. " he shrugs as he speaks and turns the bedside lamp off.

matty had assumed this would calm you - it did not.

"Don't worry about it, babe. I'll do it," matty says, bringing you back down and wrapping the duvet around the two of you.

"WHAT." You pull up and look at matty wide-eyed, leaning over him and flicking the light back on

he looks back confused, and you really have to take a moment to realise hes not being intentionally dumb.

"Why did you only just decide to tell me this??? it's been years, Matthew!!! oh god, this changes everything. I have to talk to her about it. fucking hell-"

"really?"

so he did! it was the day before mothers Day, and you were out shopping with charli. she needed a new dress for a fancy date george was talking her on, and you were more than happy to help!

"of course"

///

Annie was peacefully sat on the sofa watching high school musical 2 with mayhem. He was peacefully snoring in her lap as she sang along to fabulous (the best hsm movie and the best song, btw)

"So... Annie, how are you..."

fuck. Why would he ask that?? what a shit way to start.

Annie pauses and looks at matty weirdly before responding, "okay i think?"

"Good, good... can we talk?"

"Do you want to do anything for mothers Day this year? for y/n, i mean. not me or anything. that would be weird." matty stops himself going off on a tangent and coughs awkwardly and waits for a response.

Annie pauses the movie and nods tentatively, matty sits next to her and can't help but jump straight in.

his nerves were ruining any chance at a coherent thought.

5 seconds feels like 5 hours, but he couldn't be more relieved when she excitedly says, "Yes!!! oh, please, can we!?! I want to get her flowers and chocolates!!"

matty sighs a breath of relief and nods. He grabs his keys and says, "Definitely. let's go to tesco then, cmon!"

///

the next morning, matty is up early... suspiciously early.

you wake up to whispered voices and hear a tray clanging slightly,

annie and matty saying "surprise!!" wakes you up fully, and you are shocked to see them with a tray of pancakes, coffee, and a bouquet of flowers.

immediately you tear up, but you have to ask to make sure you're not misinterpreting this.

"Oh wow! what's all this???" You say sitting up as matty puts the tray next to you on the bed.

"Happy mothers Day!!!" squeals Annie excitedly, "Dad said I was finally allowed to give you presents today!" she smiles big as she finishes, almost looks anxious awaiting your response.

tears start rolling down your cheeks, and you pull Annie in, squeezing her so tight she loses all the air in her lungs.

"Oh, Annie. thank you so so much. I love you, sweetheart." You pull back and wipe your tears, and Annie can't look happier, gummy smile and bright eyes staring back at you.

shyly, she says, "You're welcome. i love you too"

"You want to share my pancakes, sweet girl?" You ask, already cutting it up for the two of you.

"yes!!!" Annie says bouncing on the bed.

matty might as well not be there, but that is honestly exactly how he wanted to feel.

you don't need him. you're Annie's parent now too.

#annie has made you cards for the years imbetween but she hid them #she gives them all to you the next year and you SOB. #im talking snot bubbles red face SOBBING. #soooooo many more thoughts on this too #but i can only talk for so long before im incomprehensible lol #cant shut up!!! ever!!! #anon! #teacher au!

[bidisasterevankinard]

Wip Wednesday

Tagged by @giddyupbuck <33333 (I can't wait to read your Eddie whump) and @forthewolves (looking disrespectful at your smut) <333333

Secret fic was kind of guessed by my wife @hippolotamus and well I explained it to @thewolvesof1998 and some of you send me to jail so I revel secret.

It's amnesia fic : Eddie loses only one year of his life after head injury on the call, but this year starts exactly some days before lightning so Eddie doesn't remember Buck's death and coma and can't remember he understood his feelings, their confession and plan for first date

here is poor Eric dealing with Eddie's mess (and some angst for Eddie. not only Buck struggle)

Eddie laughs and he thinks it’s nice to talk with Eric. He’s funny and interesting and makes Eddie feel good, and all those feelings from the gym only grow right now in this cafe. Eddie definitely can think about a second date.

“Well, it’s so crazy. I remember once we were with all the team on the TV because Taylor Kelly decided that 118 can make her popular. Well, we kind of did,” Eddie with bitterness remembered his interview was one of the reasons redhead has her time at Channel 8.

“Wait, you’re from 118?” green eyes look at him with with great interest and surprise.

“Yes,” Eddie answers with a little question in his voice cause he can sense how Eric’s interest goes to not him, but something else. Like he expects Eddie to tell him the best gossip of his life.

(more under cut to save dash)

“OMG,” Eric almost jumps in his seat and bends closer to him and asks with excitement, “is it true that the guy who was struck by lightning almost a year ago and died for three minutes came back for work? Like real firefighting. How’s his name mmmm, oh yes, Evan Buckley.”

Eddie feels like it’s him, he was struck by lightning right now. Because it’s not possible he could forget Buck dying. But-but if it was almost a year ago it means it gets into a zone that he still can't remember.

Zone where details of his life that just don't puzzle in the picture in his head. And now he can tell why he feels sick even trying to remember it. Why when he tried hard to concentrate on the dates he felt nauseous.

Buck was dead. Buck was dead for three minutes. "AND SEVENTEEN SECONDS," someone inside his head is screaming it, someone whose voice is so similar to his own. But his voice screams with such pain that Eddie has never heard. Unless only when shouting towards the sunsets mourning Shannon alone.

His mouth is filled with the taste of ozone, and pain is felt in his body as if he fell unsuccessfully, and then later he sees it. 

Such a familiar body that doesn't move and hangs so high above him. He hears his voice shouting “Buck”, feels dead weight in his hands, and feels like he wants to feel it closer, but he can't and he has to lower it, feels the steering wheel in his hands and hears all the prayers that he knows with a mixture of an internal timer counting down every second of hell, feels like the ribs are breaking but he would prefer to only hug them tightly, feels trapped near the ward, not daring to enter, hears the sound of Chris's voice talking to Buck, who does not answer him. And then he feels relieved when looking into insanely beautiful ALIVE blue eyes. 

At this moment, he feels like his breathing is knocked down and as he is clearly struggling for air, he is working to calm down, trying to push air through the vice in his chest, squeezing him so hard that he's ready to scream in pain.

Gradually his breathing returns to normal and he meets the frightened green eyes.

“I’m so sorry, but I need to go,” he throws all the cash he has and runs outside, already taking out the car keys.

He needs to see Buck.

tagging @alyxmastershipper @jeeyuns @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @theotherluciferr @wikiangela @hippolotamus @911onabc @transbuck @fatedking @fortheloveofbuddie @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @monsterrae1 @lover-of-mine @loserdiaz @mandzuking17 @gayarthur @housewifebuck @honestlydarkprincess @cowboy-buddie @watchyourbuck @eddiediaztho @pirrusstuff @heartshapedvows @devirnis @rogerzsteven @spotsandsocks @spaceprincessem @wildlife4life

#fic: you can't forget love #now i abandon it to write bra fic and who knows when come back #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #my wips

[svechnikovvv]

can't take my eyes off you (part 4)

gif by: @emziess

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

warnings: the usual, james… AGAIN, jack (steve’s dad for those who forgot)

word count: 5,417

summary: steve fake dates y/n for a week for a family reunion, but little does y/n know, he’s had the biggest crush on her for a while.

a/n: i don’t mean to be that sappy author, but i appreciate all the love and support you guys are showing this series so far! ALSO, yes i am changing the title of this story, sorry for any confusion

wednesday. halfway through the week.

you woke the next morning with steve's head resting on your chest, his arms wrapped securely around your waist. you play with his hair for a bit and he hums, rubbing his thumb on the part of your midriff that was exposed. shivers went down your spine and as much as you'd love to stay in bed all day, you had to get up.

"steve," you whisper softly

"hm?"

"we can't stay in bed all day. c'mon, we gotta get up" he groans

"don't wanna" you chuckle

"i don't either, but we gotta get up" you start to sit up, but steve doesn't budge.

"you're so stuborn. you know that?"

"tell me something i don't know" you sigh, giving up. five minutes later, steve eventually lets go and you sit up, stretching and yawning. you head to the bathroom to get ready. while you're brushing your teeth, steve walks beside you and starts to brush his. his bedhead is... a sight for sore eyes.

"how's your hand?" he asks and you hold it up to him. you're sporting some nasty bruises, but honestly, you didn't mind.

"gonna have to wrap them soon. 'kay?" you nod and spit out the toothpaste, rinsing your mouth after. steve's mid-brushing his teeth when you grab his jaw with your hand, turning his face to look at yours. you inspect his injuries and nod.

"looks like we'll need an ice pack for you" he nods and you head out the bathroom, deciding what you'll wear to the dinner tonight. you settle on a flowy dress. you set it aside for later. you then throw on jeans and a striped shirt, that you had stolen from robin, and wait for steve to get ready. you fell back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling for a bit.

"you ready?" you turn to the side to face steve and see him standing there with his hands on his hips. you sit up and nod, following him out the door. you two finally make it downstairs and step into the kitchen and diane gives steve a look.

"did you wrestle with a wild animal?" you laugh and steve shakes his head no

"james did this" she gasps

"james your cousin?" he nods and she sighs

"he's always getting into fights is what i hear. so it doesn't surprise me in the slightest"

"you think i look bad? y/n's fist is even worse" he jabs his thumb at you and you hit his forearm. diane looks at you with worry. you hold your hand up to show her and she gasps again

"oh dear. god, i knew him coming here would be a bad idea. but noooo, he's family so let's invite him anyways" you and steve chuckle as she inspects your knuckles.

"there's a first aid kit in the bathroom down the hallway. go get it, will you steve?" diane asks, facing him. he nods and heads to retrieve it. once he's out of earshot diane leans in and asks the question that she's been dying to ask.

"what happened?"

"he called me a bitch and i didn't take too kindly to that" she nods

"how did steve get hurt?"

"that... is a great question. he didn't tell me" she patted your shoulder

"don't worry, i'll find out sooner or later" you nod and steve comes back, first aid kit in hand. he sets it on the counter and his mom opens it up, pulling out something to wrap your kuckles with. you watch as she does so, humming to herself quietly.

"okay. all done. hey y/n? cynthia and laura are in the living room with the kids. they've been asking for you nonstop. why don't you go see them?" you nod and steve goes to follow you, but diane stops him, grabbing his arm.

"uh uh. not you. i need to talk to you" once diane made sure you were in the living room and gone, she faced steve, pointing a finger at his face.

"you want to tell me why your face is all beat up?" steve sighed and sat down at a bar stool, propping his chin up on his hand. his mother stood on the opposite side of the counter, arms crossed.

"after y/n punched james in the face and headed inside, i stayed back to talk to him. however, he decided to start talking about y/n as if she was this piece of meat and i didn't like that. i told him to watch his mouth and i started to back off, but he yanked me back, giving me two good swings. i dodged one, but not the other" diane nodded, taking in this newfound information.

"i'm glad you didn't punch him back because now he can't say you did. but i'm also glad you stood up for her, steve. i can see how much you care about that girl and she is the luckiest person in the world to have you"

"you're only saying this because you're my mom" diane throws the towel on her shoulder at him and he dodges it. they both laugh and she waves him off.

"go ahead. i saw you looking at the door like a sad puppy. i'm done talking" steve nods and heads to the living room to be with you. he sees you sitting on a couch with wendy cuddled up into one side of you, and david sitting on your lap. steve takes a seat beside you,

"hey buddy. y/n been bothering you?" steve asks david and you gasp, but david shakes his head.

"exactly. i'm awesome. they love me"

"stevie!" you hear a kid shout.

there's more of them?

a little brunette girl runs up to steve. steve picks her up and she wraps her tiny arms around his neck. he pats her back and she lets go, then sitting in his lap.

"nicole. how's my girl doing?" she grins up at him, one of her teeth missing.

"good! i lost a tooth last week and the tooth fairy gave me ten dollars!"

"wow. that's the jackpot" she nods, her curls bouncing

"mommy said that that's more than anyone else has ever gotten" steve laughs and nods

"she isn't wrong about that" the little girl faces you and she waves at you. you smile and wave back. she whispers to steve

"who's this?" steve glances at you and gives you a soft smile.

"nicole, this is my girlfriend-"

"YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?" she yells and everybody looks up at the girl. you're a laughing mess and steve's face is red.

"nicole, baby, inside voice," he tells her and she nods, then whispering her question again

"you have a girlfriend?" steve laughs this time and nods

"yep. her name's y/n" next thing you know, nicole throws her arms around your neck, giving you a hug. you look at steve in shock and he just smiles. you hug the little girl back. she pulls away and looks over and when she sees wendy, oh god, she lets out a big squeal.

"wendy!"

"nicole!" nicole goes and sits by wendy and they start talking about everything. steve laughs from beside you

"they're so much alike" you lean over and whisper to steve and he nods

"it's why they get along so much" you both quietly laugh and the two girls get up, heading out to where nicole came in

"bye stevie!" they both say, waving him bye

"and bye y/n!" they also say. you wave bye at the two girls and they leave the living room.

"you're a kid magnet" steve says, making you laugh. david's playing with your rings in your lap and you shrug

"i know right" you both sit there, watching the tv, but not taking in anything it's saying.

"i saw your dress for later"

"yeah?" you look up at steve and he looks down at you

"yeah. it looks gorgeous" you smile up at him

"thanks" he nods and you both go back to looking at the tv.

"hungry" david says and you laugh. you check a nearby clock to see that it's lunch time.

"okay. come on little man. time to go eat" you stand up, holding him on your hip. steve follows you and you guys head into the kitchen. you see cynthia and she's sitting at the table. you walk over to her and hand her david. this time he actually eats when she's feeding him and you head back to the kitchen where steve is at.

"saved your spot" he says and you chuckle, grabbing the plate he's holding out to you.

"and they say chivalry is dead" he laughs with you and you two make your plates, going to sit down at the table with cynthia. so far, the two of you have yet to run into james and you want to keep it that way. but with the dinner tonight, you know that it's inevitable to see him there.

"so, y/n, tell us about yourself," you look up to see who called your name and see michael (wendy's dad for those of you who forgot). you swallow your mouthful of food and began speaking.

"well, there's not much to me. i was born and raised in hawkins. went to hawkins elementary, middle and highschool. i have an older brother named anthony. and i live with my mom"

"what brings you to date steve" you chuckle at his question and look over at steve, then back at michael.

"i dunno. maybe it was the hair" you shrug, taking a bite of your food, shooting a closed-mouth grin over at steve and he rolls his eyes.

"glad to know you're using me for my hair"

"isn't the only thing," you mumble under your breath and he looks at you with a raised brow.

"care to elaborate?" you tap a finger on your chin, feigning thinking.

"i think some things are left better unsaid" you wink at him and stand up, taking your plate into the kitchen to clean it off. once you were done doing that, you walked past steve and out to your newfound favorite place: the terrace. you lean against one of the bannisters, closing your eyes. you hum the familiar melody of earth angel by the penguins.

someone stands near you, and by the familiar smell of steve's cologne, you knew it was him.

"earth angel?" you open your eyes and look at him, nodding

"it's a good song" he nods

"yeah. it is" you two stand there in silence. you close your eyes again, starting to hum a different song: sway by dean martin

"y/n. what is it with you and dean martin songs? i'm starting to think you're in love with him or something" you chuckle and look back at him

"jealous?" he nods. you fake pout, opening your arms slightly. he walks over to you and you wrap your arms around his neck, craning yours up to look at him. his hands instinctively wrap themselves around your waist.

"there's no need to be jealous, stevie. dean martin has no idea i exist"

"good" you roll your eyes, then laying your head on steve's chest, continuing to hum the song. you two sway back and forth for a bit.

"what do you wanna do while we wait for the dinner tonight?" you think for a minute

"we drove past this record shop yesterday. can we go check that out?"

"yeah. of course" you two continue to sway for a good ten minutes before you pull apart from steve.

"c'mon pretty boy, let's go," you start to tug his hand to head to his car, but he stops you.

"let me go get my keys" you nod and head over to stand by the car, waiting for him. he jogs over towards his car and you hear it unlock. you open the door and slide in, steve doing the same. he starts the car and puts it in reverse, heading towards the record shop. you two take turns playing your favorite cd's and before you know it, steve is parking the car into a parking spot.

you eagerly get out, not waiting for steve as you head inside. you're in awe at everything around you. you head over to the 60s classics and scavenge through until you find what you were looking for. you make sure steve doesn't see what you got. speaking of steve, he then walks in and someone shouts his name.

does he know everyone here?

"steve!" the man throws up his hands. "t's been a minute since i've seen ya, pal. how's your grandma margaret doing?" steve chuckles, a smile on his face

"it has been a minute. but good. she's doing good. how are you sal?" the oldish man at the counter nods his head.

"i've seen better days. my granddaughter just recently graduated highschool. told her she needs to stop aging before i croak" steve lets out a chuckle and you walk up to him. his attention then turns to you.

"you find something?" you nod and smile up at him

"woah woah woahhhhh. harrington, aren't you gonna introduce me to this nice young lady?" you laugh and hold out your hand for the old man.

"y/n, nice to meet you..."

"sal," he finishes, shaking your hand.

"sal. right"

"now tell me y/n, what's steve to ya?" his italian accent shined bright whenever he spoke

"he's my boyfriend" sal's eyes light up as if he just hit the jackpot.

"stevie wonder, when were you gonna tell me you got a girlfriend?" steve shrugs. sal sighs and mumbles something in italian.

"è proprio come la mia prima moglie, non mi dice mai niente" you had family back in italy, so you translated his words easily. you let out a little laugh at what he said. steve, however, was lost.

"you know italian?" he asks and you nod. sal turns around and looks at you with a shocked face

"oh, this is gold"

"then what did he say?" you turn to face sal and he laughs, nodding

"he said, 'he's just like my first wife. never tells me anything.'" you and sal are laughing and steve gives both of you a bitch-face.

"anyways, i can go ahead and scan whatcha got there. unless you wanted to look around some more" you nodded and headed to the 'm' section. there was a new metallica cd that eddie had been wanting and you decided to get it for him. you couldn't find it, so you walked back over to the counter.

"hey sal, do you have the new metallica cd?" he nods and heads to the back. steve looks at you with furrowed brows

"metallica?"

"eddie's birthday is coming up and he's been wanting it" steve nods and sal comes back out back, holding the master of puppets cd between his fingers. he hands it to you and you happily take it.

"didn't take you for the metallica type"

"i mean, a song or two of theirs doesn't hurt every now and then. but this is for a friend's birthday" he nods.

"there's one more thing i need, and i'll officially be done." you then headed to the d's and found the cd you were looking for.

girls on film - duran duran

robin had been talking about how she wanted this cd for a while but was too broke to get it. lucky her, you loved spending money on people. you walk back to the counter and put all three cd's down on the counter. sal scans them and hands them back to you. you and steve bid him a goodbye, not before sal tells you two to come visit him since he 'gets lonely.'

"you bought another can't take my eyes off you cd?"

"yeah. the first one was for your car. and now this one's for my car. and the girls on film cd is for madam buckley" he chuckles but nods.

"where to next?"

"could use some more ice cream"

"you read my mind, y/n" steve heads to the ice cream parlor. once you get there, you two head inside, the same young girl from yesterday at the counter.

"ah, the lovely couple from yesterday. hired a babysitter for the little ones?" you chuckle, shaking your head.

"oh no no. those weren't our kids yesterday. relatives. we are the babysitters" she nods

"sorry for the misunderstanding" she gives you a weak smile

"no worries" you give her a smile back

"i'll have strawberry, but in a waffle cone this time" you then tell her and she nods

"any toppings?" you shake your head

"i'll go without this time" the girl nods and she makes your cone, handing it to you.

"ill have the same as her, but with sprinkles" steve says and she nods, making his. she hands it to him and rings you two up, handing you your receipt.

"enjoy" you both give her a smile and go to a booth and sit down. you slide into one side and steve slides into the opposite side

"this is the best ice cream i've ever had" you say as the familiar taste welcomes you

"agreed" you two eat the ice cream, talking about anything and everything. you then decide to head back to house since it was nearing the time you had to leave. besides, you also had to get ready. the dinner place everyone was going to was an hour away. by the time you make it home, it's 3 o' clock. you guys had to leave around 7-ish to be at the place on time. meaning around 6 you had to start getting ready. that leaves you with three hours of free time.

"wanna go watch a movie?" you asked steve. he nods and you guys head up to your room. you let out a sigh as soon as you fall onto the bed. you grab the remote and stop on risky business.

"risky business?"

"why do you question every choice i make?"

"because sometimes you have questionable decisions" you roll your eyes. the movie is beginning to start and steve is still standing with his arms crossed.

"sit down, will you? tom cruise is about to be on the screen" steve rolls his eyes and mumbles something along the lines of 'here she goes again' and he sits down beside you. as much of a moody teenage girl that he is, he couldn't keep his eyes away from the movie even if he tried. once it was over, you handed him the remote

"find something to put on with the remaining time we have" he listened and stopped on pink panther. you two got deep into the show, too. time flies by, so you decided to check the clock and see that it's 5:48. you decide to get up and start getting ready. you head into the bathroom and change out of your previous outfit, slipping on the dress. you look at yourself in the mirror and do a spin, the skirt spinning with you.

you smile and walk out. you step in front of the bed and steve looks at you, his jaw ajar.

"y/n... wow" you smooth out your skirt, looking down at it. you then look back at steve

"is it too much?" you question, nervous that you may be overdressed for the occasion. steve vigorously shakes his head.

"no no. of course not. you just look... wow. you look wow"

"you're giving me so much to work with, harrington" you roll your eyes and he gulps

"i just don't think there's any word in the english language to describe how you look right now"

"is that a good thing or bad thing?" you ask, looking up at him

"good thing" you nod and play around with your fingers

"i, uh, gotta get ready," steve says and you nod, moving out of his way so he can reach his clothes. he gets his shirt and pants and heads to the bathroom to change. you, on the other hand, added some volumizing spray to your hair and teased it a bit before you were satisfied with the way it looked. steve then walked out wearing a pair of dark slacks with a navy blue striped shirt tucked into the pants. the top two buttons are undone and he has the sleeves folded up to his elbow. he's wearing his infamous nike shoes with it.

"uh... y/n?" he asks, waving a hand in your face. you snap out of your trance

"yeah?" steve chuckles

"you okay?"

"yeah. mhm" you nod your head

"did you hear my question?" you shake your head

"i asked if this looks good or not? i didn't really know since i'm no fashionista" you laugh, but nod your head

"steve, it's an amazing outfit. you look good" you give him a smile and the. butterflies. he. gets. he nods though, giving you a smile back

"it's 6:30 now, wanna head down?" you nod and he holds out his arm for you. you hook yours around his and you two leave the room, heading downstairs. when you two get down there, everyone's eyes are on you.

"look at the gorgeous couple," diane says, walking over to you. "you both clean up nice" you give her a smile

"thank you diane. your dress is absolutely beautiful" she thanks you and pulls both of you into the living room.

"y/n!" wendy and nicole shout, running up and attaching themselves to both of your legs. you smile down at them and crouch down. you place a hand on each of their cheeks.

"don't you girls look very pretty," they both smile

"thank you," they say simultaneously

"you're so very welcome" you stand up and steve comes to stand behind you, placing a hand around your waist. wendy and nicole let out little 'ooooohs' and giggle. you roll your eyes but laugh at their antics. they both run off somewhere and you sit down on a couch with steve.

"y/n, look at you!" you hear cynthia yell and your face goes red. you weren't used to getting this much attention in one day so it was all new to you.

"thank you, cynthia. you look gorgeous yourself" she did a little twirl

"found this dress at a thrift store"

"really?" she nods her head

"you know what they say," you start and she looks at you. "one girl's trash is another girl's treasure" she nods

"got that right" you both talk for a minute and steve traces patterns on your shoulder. soon, it comes to time to leaving and you and steve head to his car. he stops you. he heads to the passenger side and opens the door for you. you laugh

"why thank you kind sir" he laughs and closes your door, heading to his side. he slides in beside you and starts the car, pulling out of his designated parking spot. you two are now on the road again.

"what do you want to listen to?" steve shrugs and you search through his plethora of cd's. you decided on i will survive. the piano from the beginning of the song started playing and you prepared yourself to sing along. steve even sang along with you. the whole ride to the dinner consisted of you and steve having your very own karaoke session and him resting his right hand on your thigh. at one point, you even serenaded steve with the entirety of bohemian rhapsody. now, that, he enjoyed

steve finally pulls up to the place and you stare at it in adoration. wow, this place was huge. you two exit the car and steve grabs your hand, heading inside. once you step foot in the place, you feel a little overwhelmed. so you squeeze steve's hand for reassurance and he squeezes it back. you stop at the front and a petite woman with her hair in an updo asks you a question

"name and how many?"

"oh, there's a reservation under 'harrington'" the lady nods and leads you two to the table where you see just about everyone sitting. you and steve take a seat beside margaret.

"don't you two look lovely" you smile at her

"thank you margaret. you look nice yourself," she looks down at her dress

"this old thing? please, i had to clean dust off of it i haven't worn it so long" you laugh and a waiter comes to the table and takes everybody's order, and there were a lot of people. someone's getting a raise tonight. once the waiter left, everyone immersed in conversation. you decided to talk to margaret as steve talked to whatever relative sat next to him. the waiter then comes back and hands everyone their drinks, then asking if you were all ready to order.

it takes about ten minutes to get everyone's order before he's off again and you're all back in conversation. this time you talk to steve.

"so, what do you think so far? just say the word and we can leave" you roll your eyes

"we don't have to leave just because of me, steve. and besides... i like it so far"

"you do?" you nod and he smiles

"see, you got this y/n" you nod, trying to convince yourself that you got this. thirty minutes and five waiters/waitresses later, everyone has their food. you're halfway through your linguine when jack (steve's dad) speaks up.

"so, james, how'd you get that big bruise on the side of your face? did you wrestle a bear or something?" james is a couple seats down from you and you can see him briefly glance at you and steve.

"steve punched me" at his comment, jack and an older man who you're assuming is james' father look at steve. whereas you look at james.

"steve harrington! i thought i raised you better than this" steve kept opening and closing his mouth.

"i- i didn't punch him. i swear" jack doesn't buy it and james' dad is giving steve a dirty look.

"son, what have i said about lying?" steve is at a loss of words right now, not believing his ears, and neither are you.

"that explains how you got those marks on your face" was jack just completely oblivious to your wrapped knuckles? you look over at james, and he has a satisfied smirk on his face.

"i'm being serious, dad. i didn't punch him" jack rolls his eyes.

"do you know how many times i've-" you cut jack off by banging your fists on the table. everybody's attention seemed to be on you and you stood up.

"mr. harrington, i have nothing but the utmost respect for you and your family, and i'm glad you guys were kind enough to let me join you tonight. but i will not sit back and tolerate you putting the blame on steve for something that i did. that's right. i'm the one that gave james that nasty bruise he's sporting on his face. and albeit he deserved it, too. steve and i were just trying to lounge peacefully on the terrace yesterday when the prick over there decided to start running that big mouth of his and he called me a bitch. pardon my french, but that's what he did.

"now, when i first arrived here, james kept treating me as if i were some object or some piece of meat. no. that's not what i am. and quite frankly, i don't tolerate that. i know when to stick up for myself and i can fight my own battles. so when he called me that, he had it coming for him. now, i've tried to be nothing but respectful, but chosing your nephew's side over your son's?? downright wrong. you didn't even give him a chance to explain."

you then hold up your hand, showing him your wrapped knuckles.

"this enough proof for you?" you then walk away and out of the restaurant. you lean up against a wall of the restaurant, closing your eyes as the cool, night breeze blowed on you. you inhaled, the air filling your lungs. you needed some sort of grounding right now, because if not, you might just give james a matching bruise on the left side of his face. a couple tears of anger made their way down your face and you sighed.

the door to the restaurant opened and you looked to see who it is. you saw steve standing there, looking around for you. he finally spotted you and his eyes met yours. he rushed over to you and pulled you into a bone-crushing hug. you two stand there for a while, just hugging before steve pulls apart. he grabs your face in his hands and bends down slightly so that he's eye-level with you. you wouldn't meet his eyes though.

"hey, look at me," you eventually look at him and he gives you a smile. "there's those pretty eyes. i am so unbelievably proud of you for what you did"

"really?" you whisper. he nods

"absofuckinglutely. nobody has ever stood up for me the way you did back there," you give him a weak nod. "you have no idea how proud i am of you, y/n" he stands back up to his full height, pulling you back into a hug. he rests his jaw atop of your head. it goes quiet for a bit before he starts to sway the both of you, softly singing you guys' song.

(can't take my eyes off you wink wink)

you close your eyes as the two of you stand there in the night, swaying and steve singing. he had a pretty damn good voice. of course you'll never tell him that though, because it'll only inflate his ego even more.

you two ended up heading back home. the whole car ride there was silent, but a peaceful silence. around 11, you arrive home and you and steve head straight to bed. he calls dibs on the bathroom first, so you let him go, sitting on the bed. you stared off at nothing before steve came out, back in his sleepwear. you grab your pajamas and head to change as well. when you come back out, steve was looking through the channels on the tv for something to watch.

you two sat there watching scooby-doo and soon, steve fell asleep. you, however, couldn't sleep. you quietly got up, heading to the balcony you recently discovered the room had and stood outside. you leaned against the railing, staring up at the starry sky. all the stars glittering above you made you feel at peace.

you had always found tranquility in the moon and stars. stargazing was your favorite pastime. it just always made you feel like there was a purpose. a reason to keep going. you'd always tell your brother how whenever you died, you didn't want to be a ghost. you wanted to be a star.

you wanted people to look up at you one night and get the same feeling that the stars gave you. belonging. normalcy. you were snapped out of your thoughts by two arms wrapping themselves around your waist. you then feel steve press a kiss to your shoulder.

"what's on your mind?" he softly speaks

"the stars," you lean back into his arms, looking back up at the sky. steve does the same thing and you two just stand there for a minute, stargazing. you let out a quiet laugh

"i'd always tell anthony how when i died, i wanted to become a star"

"yeah?" you nod "i bet you'd be the brightest star out there" you hum and he kisses the top of your head.

"i'm sorry"

"for what?"

"for ruining the dinner earlier," steve turns you around to face him and gently tilts your jaw up

"hey, you didn't ruin it at all. if anything, you gave them dinner and a show" he gives you a smile and you lightly laugh.

"i suppose so"

"i know so. now come on, let's go to bed" you nod and he grabs your hand, gently tugging you back inside. he locks the balcony door behind him, closing the curtains back. he then comes slide back into bed beside you and you let out a yawn, finally feeling tired.

"g'night steve"

"goodnight y/n" you close your eyes and soon let sleep envelop you.

tags: @btsinurmom @lovelyela @fezcomybeloved @manuosorioh @preciousbabypeter @in-this-minute @k-k0129 @prettysbliss @hcloangcls @simonsbluee @joekeeryswife @scoobiessnacks @frostandflamesfanfic

join my tag list: tag list

masterlist: masterlist

a/n: this is by far my favorite part that i have written, and yes, i am changing the name. because it feels more significant to the story than the previous title

#steve harrington #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #stranger things

[aashi-heartfilia]

Bnha 375: A Mess

So guys, our gals are back with some premium drama and let's start talking about it without wasting anymore time:

So finally! After like 30+ chapters of completely and utterly neglecting this battle, Horikoshi finally decided to bring it back into the picture and we're back again at the Okuto Island, which is ofc a beautiful Southern Island, completely isolated by the world where Ochako and Asui vs Toga is talking place.

Let's also ignore the fact that, this is probably the only battle that is not taking place in a symbolic location like Kamino or UA, because ofc those spots are reserved for our Big 3: Bakugo, Deku and Shouto.

Firstly, I hate the fact that Ochako is not a part of the Big 3, like why?

She was given so much importance in the beginning, always helping Deku out, having her own goals etc and now it's all given to Shouto. Not that I have anything against Shouto. I love the Todoroki plotline but sometimes it feels so off to not have a proper female representative in the show who actually does something and be a part of some major event.

That's total disrespect.

Anyways, enough rant. Let's just talk about the chapter for now:

Man, Ochako's going strong with this one. Guess her CQC training is getting better and coming handy. Also, what's up with this misdirection thingy? Is Toga some sort of Ninja whose voice echoes from every direction? Also, 4 people on one villain? Not wise.

Toga intelligence coming into picture. Also, unlike leaks this Wednesday, the real version says 30-40 minutes which is pretty accurate for Toga because we've seen Toga use Ochako and Deku's blood.

I like how Toga didn't took into account that Heroes would make a proper combat strategy only for her. Guess the heroes are not taking chances with this one. But for Toga, this just means that every path she takes will lead to her dead end.

Just like a normal person, she's afraid of dying.

But thing to notice here is the fact that previously Toga never had a strategy in mind. She was just playing around, doing her lovely dovey stuff etc etc.

But hostility and Resignation turned her into a full fledged villain.

I love how great this line is! Toga has turned into a villain now and this needs no more explanation.

She was a normal girl with an abnormal quirk. The society never accepted her and she had to leave home. Wearing a school uniform to camouflage herself with others because the world would be a little less harsher.

She joins the league, and finds someone she cares about the heroes she loves so much took him away...and when she comes back home, she finds all of her stuff thrown away.

She has no family to live or care for. No one that could give her the happiness or validation she seeks. And finally when even Deku and Ochako whom she thought would be a little more understanding does not give her a proper answer, she unleashed her full powered army.

It's ironic how the heroes already did everything in their power to secure victory and are still losing, and how the villains just decided to believe in their friends and just keep on winning making the situation even worse.

I like how this is the first time, Tsu's intelligence backfired on her! Being a proper villain now, Toga also took measures to stop Asui.

Since, Asui is a cool headed and calculative person , it was just as easy to predict that she would go after the veil. But, but, but! It literally backfired on her.

Also, does Asui not know about how quirk copying only works with the people Toga loves? Did Ochako not warn them?

Anyways, so this battle of intelligence just keeps on getting better and we have Asui being attacked by the high ends now.

Lol, classic shonen trope. At least I thought so. I thought it would be a game of Ochako recognising who the real Asui is. Or was Toga planing on killing Ochako pretending to be Tsu?

And then, a miracle happened.

Aren't usually these type of things reserved for heroes? Even Kinoko wonders how worse this situation is gonna get?

And we have, Ochako going for a last ditch effort saying they never had a chat about love like Toga wanted, which I guess was to distract her? She looked pretty serious about it but who knows? She's been thinking about Toga this entire time, afterall. We don't know what's going on in Ochako's mind either.

And Toga replies with how great it would be if we could. Which makes sense. It implies that all hope is already lost. The author is making it look like it.

And woah, we have SAD GIRLS PARADE!

Dayum! This was epic or what!

And finally look, who do we have here going the real battlefield?

I'm not sure if Tsu passed through the portal or not but this was chaotic! Like super duper chaotic!

Also, it reminds me so much of the 1st Paranormal Liberation War with Gigantimachia reaching the main battlefield and the war reaching its final climax. I can't help but think how similar the panelling is.

And with Ochako being here it opens so much possibilities.

You can't help but notice her between all the powerhouses and her being the only normal person-hero here. With her being in the front and centre it feels like she will be the one to turn the tables.

The seemingly normal, chubby little girl from Kansai will the first in destroying the plans of AFO.

Conclusion;

I really liked this chapter. It was a bit rushed with how we got to see this gang after a long time and yet it was just for one chapter. It has some major good points like mind game b/w Tsu and Toga. Villains relying more on nakama power than the heroes. Asui still coming in the clutch, like she's used to and Ochako entering the main battlefield.

Now this was good. This is literally the first time where Ochako is a part of something major. I know, she could be just there to counter sad man's parade but maybe she could contribute to something better.

I would talk about this in my next article.

~Thanks for reading

#urakara ochako #bnha 375 #mha 375 #bnha spoilers #bnha manga leaks #bnha manga panels #bnha manga spoilers #uraraka ochako #ochako uraraka #bnha ochako #ochako #uraraka ochaco #mha toga #himiko toga #bnha toga #toga himiko #togachako #toga x uraraka #bnha uraraka #mha uraraka #my hero academia himiko #my hero academia ochako #togaocha #bnha hawks #bnha endeavour #bnha todoroki #bnha shouto #shoto todoroki #bnha twice #uravity

[penny00dreadful]

Happy WIP Wednesday! I thought I'd share some snippets of my multiple WIPs because I'm obsessed with all of them and the urge to share became too much. These will all eventually be posted both here and on AO3. Some are first drafts and might change slightly and some have already been through rewrites, ALL will be published eventually.

Return of the King - Part 5

Anything further Eddie wanted to say was swiftly lost as the back door was thrown open with a shout from Dustin.

“He’s a vampire?!”

Eddie tilted his head back the whole way so he was looking at Dustin upside down.

“That’s the prevailing theory.”

“Dude!” The next second Dustin had disappeared back inside.

Sitting back up straight again, Eddie glanced over in Hopper's direction.

“A vampire? Really? You’re encouraging this?”

Eddie raised his hands up in surrender. “I’m just calling ‘em like I see ‘em, Hop. The boy’s got fangs. He drinks blood. He’s not dead anymore.”

“Whose blood?! Did he bite you?”

“I wish.” He muttered but evidently not quietly enough if Hopper’s scandalised expression was anything to go by. “No, he didn’t bite me. He stole some cows' blood from the butchers.”

Hopper groaned as he heaved himself up from the chair and let a loud exhale go. “I don’t know why I’m surprised by anything anymore. Fuck it, fine, he’s a vampire. Just another god damn Tuesday in Hawkins.”

Commuppance - The kids meddle in Steve's love life and get their just desserts.

“Eddie, we need you to flirt with Nancy.”

The man in question turned his head slowly and methodically until he was facing Dustin completely, his hand still hovering over the battle map he was prepping.

“Excuse me?”

“If you make Steve jealous, that might be the kick he needs to finally do something.”

“You’re playing with fire here, Henderson. You can’t toy with people’s feelings like that.”

“Who’s toying with feelings? There’ll be no feelings involved.”

“What about Steve’s feelings? What about Nancy’s?”

“It won’t matter once it all works out.”

Eddie’s mouth was set in a firm, grim line. He looked almost angry. But that couldn’t be right.

“And there’s no way this could possibly blow up in your face, right?”

Dustin looked at Eddie like he had six heads. What wasn’t he getting about this? This was how things were done. He was saved from having to answer by the arrival of Nancy and Mike into the Harrington basement.

Steve barely glanced up at their arrival, just sending a short smile their way, too deep in conversation with Robin about the news or interior design or whatever the fuck grown ups talk about.

Dustin sent a very pointed look Eddie's way who heaved the most put upon sigh, rising from his seat and giving Dustin the middle finger which he sarcastically reciprocated.

“Hey Nance.” Eddie said, sildling up beside her and oozing charm and charisma. “I'm glad you decided to come today. Don't know what I would've done if I had to go without seeing your pretty face for much longer."

Worship - Reincarnation AU

Their last Life together had been… well there was no word to describe it other than horrible. He’d only ever seen Eddie die so brutally once before.

But those demobats had been…

Fuck.

Something in Steve broke in that last Life.

He’d fought so hard for so long. Scrambling for whatever scrap of Eddie he could get in each Life, over and over and over again.

And Eddie never remembered.

Each new Life for him was a fresh start.

But Steve remembered all of it. He remembered everything. Living, dying, searching for Eddie every time, for years, sometimes decades until he found him.

He supposed it was what he had asked for.

Or rather demanded.

Maybe he was stupidly naive to think that pissing off, disrespecting and insulting Her then demanding he get Eddie back would get him what he wanted, the way he wanted.

Maybe it was a curse.

Steve’s Curse.

Unnamed Dungeons and Dragons AU

“Hunt him down, Harrington.”

Steve glared across the table.

“I’m not your fucking errand boy, Carver. I don’t need your money.”

“No, but you need a quest to become a full Knight. Even your daddy can’t buy you that.”

Steve bristled, his stomach turning sour because the thing was Jason was right. His father had attempted to buy his way, as far as could be bought, into a knighthood though Steve had succeeded through his training all on his own merit not needing the aid of daddy's money. He was nothing if not a talented athlete.

But in order to be fully knighted and earn his station as a Paladin, he needed to complete a quest outside of their small town of Hawkins. And a quest for such a thing could only be approved by the High Priests, which Jason was currently in training to become, serving directly underneath the Head High Priest Henry Creel.

“I hardly think some pissy little bard from the shitty part of town would qualify as a quest.”

“He tried to curse Chrissy, Harrington. Messing with dark shit. Nercromancy. Blood magic. It's a god damn miracle she's even alive. You want a freak like that roaming free?”

Steve scoffed. “It’s not like he’ll ever come back to town. He cut and run fast enough.”

Through the Valley - Post Apocalypse AU

Eddie swiped furiously at his eyes with his bedsheets, trying to will the lump in his throat away. His heart still ached and he knew despite his best efforts he’d be carrying it around with him for the rest of the day. He hated those nights with a burning passion. He didn’t have nightmares like Dustin or Nancy did, he had these dreams. He wept in his sleep, crying until he was dried out and exhausted upon waking up but he wouldn’t trade them in for anything.

At least with these dreams he could still…

It wasn’t important. He had too much shit to deal with today to spend time mourning the past. Their food surplus was getting dangerously low and there hadn’t been a supply drop in weeks though their own vegetable crop was still growing strong. Chester Hagen and his goons were still giving Nancy trouble. They needed extra hands to get their fence back up again and those bandits were still out there. They might have been scared away by Dustin and Scott’s genius and deadly electrical wiring but they weren’t going to stay away for long.

Their settlement was way too valuable an asset to have under their belts from a defensive standpoint alone and if they were able to seize control it could be catastrophic.

And the fucking Ghouls.

A constant trickle of Ghouls stumbling towards their settlement, invariably drawn towards the noise their small community made. Their numbers had started to dwindle a little but they were still a very real threat.

The two bodies that had to be brought home and buried during the last trip to maintain their water tower made that clear enough.

Fuck, they needed food. Everyone was running on fumes and it was making them sloppy. Their sentries were having trouble concentrating, their medical personnel had started to feel they couldn’t perform their duties safely anymore, their smartest minds were waning.

Eddie dragged himself out of bed, the one he’d slept in alone and lamenting the empty space next to him since they first arrived at this estate, nine months ago and fourteen months since...

No.

Too much to do today.

#steddie #steve x eddie #stranger things #eddie x steve #fanfic #penny00dreadful #wip #wip wednesday #writing wip #wip excerpt #steddie fic #stranger things fic #eddie munson #steve harrington #return of the king #commuppance #worship #reincarnation au #dungeons and dragons au #through the valley #post apocalypse au

[donteattheappleshook]

WIP Wednesday

What's up, it's Wednesday my dudes. I started a new fic because I got stuck on my WIPs and it got super sad without my permission. Keep in mind that I'm incapable of not writing happy endings and (hopefully) enjoy this little snippet of a Cyrano de Bergerac AU because I've been obsessed with this play since high school. 

********

Killian had often wondered how he would die. He’d given the moment a great deal of thought - a morbid diversion perhaps but not an uncommon one for a man who chose a life like his. 

In his youth he’d believed himself immortal. Not until that first brush with the wrong end of an enemy’s blade did he start to consider that he may have been wrong. 

Once, he’d let himself imagine scenes of heroism, of gallantry and honour, meeting his end in a blaze of glory that others would write songs about for decades to come.

But those misguided dreams were reserved for the young, those who hadn’t yet known the reality of life, of war, of death. Fantasy succumbed to reality as it often did when one had truly seen death, had watched the life disappear from the eyes of a brother, a lover, a friend - for some, all three. There would be no songs to remember any of them.

His imaginings had grown more muted over the years, a passing thought before a battle, a sharp pang when he survived. When would his time come? What form would it finally take - the endless abyss of the black and angry sea perhaps, an enemy soldier’s sword more likely. 

Of one thing he was certain, death would come to him young. He’d known for a long time that he would not see beyond the first suggestions of age, beyond the early glimpses of silver or grey. Dreams of dying of old age were reserved for those who never carried the weight of a blade at their side, and for young soldiers who’d never felt the brief caress of Death before she decided it was not yet their time. 

But for all his time spent contemplating his end, he’d never once imagined this, never pictured himself in the arms of the woman he loved, sheltered by the bow of the Jolly Roger, rocked by the waves that lap at her sides, mist from the sea and tears from her heart salting his skin - grief made tangible as they fall against his his chest. 

Killian thinks perhaps he’d given himself too much credit - this is far better than anything he could have imagined. He thinks he can accept his end if this is how it comes to him, not embraced by the cold cruelty of death but by her.

His fingers reach for her cheek, brushing the dampness from beneath her eyes. If only he could stop her tears. He’d never wanted to make her cry - for all the years he’d spent wishing she’d care enough to weep for him when he was gone, he’d live and die a thousand times over to ease her heartbreak. 

“You stupid, stupid idiot,” she curses him, dragging a smile from his tired heart where it still beats stubbornly in his chest, refusing to go just yet. He just wants to look at her a little longer. “Why didn’t you tell me? We could have had more time.” 

What is time worth in the end? Any time with her would have been enough. These few precious minutes with the truth finally open and raw between them is enough. He’s loved her most of his life. Knowing she loves him - even if just in this final moment - is enough. 

The paper creases against his chest - caught beneath her hand as she tries to pull him closer, tries to will time to stop, to let him stay - fragile now, the words read over and over, folded and unfolded with great care every time she felt her heart would break for missing him. 

Him. For the first time, truly for him. Not for a man who spoke his words and was his face, his heart no longer forced to hide in the shadows, no longer confined to quill and ink.

“Will you read it to me again?” It’s a cruel request, a selfish one, but darkness is creeping at the edges of his vision and he thinks he can be selfish in his last moment. And he knows she won't refuse him. 

‘I think it will be tonight, my love. 

I have survived too long already on the hope of returning to you-

To my own heart which would not leave your side.

‘But even I cannot outrun death forever.'

The words fall around him, his longing repeated back, old but unchanged, unspoken desires and heartache lulling him into the emptiness that calls to him. A final goodbye. The memory of canon fire, of smoke and ash and blood. Days sitting and waiting for the end, for the attack that would give them forever to the sea. It’s fitting, he thinks, that as he leaves her now he can finally speak his love in his own voice, from his own heart, that he lived long enough to be given the chance. 

'Forgive me - for the promises I could not keep.

I grieve only for the love left unspoken - the time not spent.

The cowardice that kept them from us both.'

He murmurs the words along with her, voice strained and growing weaker with every line, eyes drifting shut as he feels the last bits of his strength prepare to leave him. Just one more heartbeat, just one more breath, he begs whoever is waiting for him at the other end of this life. He never thought he would plead for more time, but he needs to tell her, needs her to hear the words from his own heart, even if she already knows.

'But know that I will leave this world without regret. 

Of what happier ending could I dream?’ 

Her voice breaks as his drifts off, his tongue growing heavy, mouth sluggish, throat too weak to find all the sounds required of it. Still he wills himself to finish, to bare his heart in stuttered phrases and half-spoken words until he feels her lips pressed to his own, her cheek damp, her kiss the first, and the last. The words are whispered against her, carried on the final breath left in his lungs.

‘I have been loved by you, and I have loved you. Madly.’

Hiding now... 

******

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[mercuriallycooperative]

okay but like the story? about the last time Wednesday cried? when she was six? that was genuinely horrifyingly traumatizing as hell, like what the fuck.

(i think this has haunted her all through her life, and not in the fun way; and i think we see it more often than we know throughout the events of the show.)

like I think in some ways its gravitas can get hidden, a little, because Nero was a scorpion, and when you start off a story with “Wednesday was out taking her scorpion for a walk”, that’s an image that’s a little ridiculous and a little surreal, something not-quite-real; and because Nero was a scorpion, Nero was a bug (okay an arachnid but still) and I think at least in the US we don’t necessarily instinctively group those in with animals-that-can-really-be-pets-the-way-dogs-and-cats-are, unless we know someone that has one and we learn that yeah actually they can be; and in that same vein Nero-the-scorpion, Nero-the-bug, can sort of get lost in the shuffle of the idea of a generic sort of scorpion-bug, because we’re not exactly conditioned to tell one apart from the other, right? No more than we are for, say, beetles or cockroaches. “Wednesday’s pet scorpion” is the idea that is primed to stick in mind, not the fullness of the fact that “Nero, the scorpion” was a discrete being.

and like- okay, I do not speak for the world and the general success a media has with instilling an empathy is variable and emotions are hard but like- even watching that awful moment play out on screen, even knowing it’s awful because between the basic facts of the moment and the framing and the right proper acting how can it not be, even then I suspect that with how casual our socialization is with the death of carapaced creatures, Nero’s death doesn’t receive the full impact it deserves.

that is, emotionally, the audience doesn’t quite have time to really sit with the fact that at six years old, Wednesday was held back by some bullies and forced to watch her pet be crushed in front of her, for the crime of being hers. she had to watch the life leave his body along with his organs. she said it was snowing when she buried what was left of him; and the audience doesn’t get a chance to sit with the fact that this means Wednesday probably had to scrape up her pet’s mangled corpse by hand from the pavement and carry him home.

like. jesus fucking christ.

and you know what? you can bet she never did get any justice for Nero. no justice other than what she may or may not have taken out with her own two hands at some point later, anyway. because Nero was a scorpion and he was a bug and an arachnid and maybe venomous and people are scared of creatures like that and those boys were just playing around and it was probably just an accident, you really shouldn’t have had that thing out in public-

she was a child walking her pet, peacefully, harming no one.

(can you imagine if that had been a dog or cat? and those boys had held down a kid and crushed their dog or cat to death in a public street like that?)

i said, earlier, that I think this event has haunted her all her life. I don’t just mean with respect to how she decided that crying doesn’t solve problems, and that she wouldn’t be doing it again.

one might wonder, for someone like Wednesday who is so cavalier about causing grievous injury (to the people who bullied her brother) (to the person who killed Rowan and all those people), why she seemed to care that the school, her prison, might burn. one might wonder why she seemed to care that Rowan died, when he had literally just tried to kill her- not just cared for the mystery, cared for the death. one might wonder why she says her greatest fear has always been that she would be responsible for something bad-terrible.

Nero died for the crime of being hers.

i would be willing to bet that Wednesday doesn’t want anyone else dying for the crime of being in her vicinity. (unless she’s the one doing the murdering, anyway.)

i would be willing to bet she doesn’t want to be the reason, the cause of anything she doesn’t mean to do.

(i would also be willing to bet she doesn’t want to lose people, especially not because of her own... just existing in the way she does; i think that might contribute to any natural tendency she has toward being standoffish, and possibly also why she took the falling out with Enid quite as badly as she did. but my personal thoughts about how Wednesday tries to bond with people can wait.)

there are events that shape your childhood. for better, for worse, they write themselves into your bones and make a home in your lungs and stain you in their blood.

i would reckon that Nero’s death was such an event, for Wednesday.

#wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #cw pet death #cw animal death #cw bullying #justice for Nero (Addams) (scorpion) #wednesday spoilers #i mean technically spoilers but this is basically episode 1 stuff #and a *tiny* bit of episode like 6 #my contribution #i really don't know how to conclude that any better than i did #it's just that when i first saw that flashback i had to just be like holy fucking shit jesus christ #because that's... that's genuinely extremely awful and we don't spend a lot of time on it but i think it really does provide an insight #a lens into some of Wednesdays behaviour even up into the present day

[blossom-adventures]

WIP Wednesday!

I’ve been tagged by the lovely @thequeenofthewinter to share something for WIP Wednesday so here it is!

It’s a long one! ☺️

Hope you like it

Jaina looked up at the great Palace of the Kings, then down to Ralof who was holding the door for her, she took a deep breath and stepped in, thanking her friend with a nod as she passed him. The palace hadn’t changed at all since she was last here, even the banners looked like the same ones, now starting to show their age as they lined the high ceiling. Jaina looked down from the ceiling to the throne, which stood empty.

“Come on, the Jarl must be with Galmar in the war room” Ralof waved in the direction of the room to their left, sure enough as they approached they began to hear the conversation the 2 men were having “we’ll have to wait outside, until they’ve finished” Ralof muttered, Jaina nodded

“How many of their sons and daughters follow your banner, we are their family” Galmar huffed, his gruff voice was easy enough to recognise, even after all this time away

“Well put, friend. Tell me, Galmar, why do you fight for me?”

“I’d follow you into the depths of Oblivion, you know that”

“Yes, but why do you fight? If not for me, what then?”

“I’ll die before elves dictate the fates of men, are we not one in this?” Jaina and Ralof backed away from the door as the Jarl and his Housecarl left the war room, and approached the throne

“I fight for the men I’ve held in my arms, dying on foreign soil. I fight for their wives and children whose names I heard whispered in their last breath. I fight for we few who did come home, only to find our country filled with strangers wearing familiar faces. I fight for my people, impoverished to pay the depts of an Empire to weak to rule them, yet brands them criminals for wanting to rule themselves! I fight so that all the fighting I’ve already done hasn’t been for nothing. I fight… because I must” Jarl Ulfric climbed up the few steps and sat down on his throne

“Your words give voice to what we all feel, Ulfric. And that’s why you will be High King. But the day words are enough, will be the day when soldiers like us are no longer needed”

“I would gladly retire from the world, we’re such a day to dawn”

“Aye, but in the meantime, we have a war to plan” Ulfric smiled at his friend before his eyes shifted over to Ralof

“Ralof, what brings you to the palace?” The Jarl called over, causing Galmar to also turn around, Ralof stepped forward

“A friend wishes to join your army, my Jarl” Ralof stepped to the side, revealing Jaina standing behind him, the Jarl leant forward on the throne as Jaina approached

“Dragonborn… you decided to accept my offer”

“I did, Jarl Ulfric”

I’m going to tag @oblivions-dawn & @sneaksandsweets but as always, no pressure to share anything, hope your having a good day ☺️💙

#blossom rambles #skyrim #skyrim fanfiction #oc: jaina #dragonborn #blossom’s oc #wip wednesday #galmar stone fist #ralof #ulfric stormcloak

[roadtogracelandx45]

Among Angels|1| Top Gun Maverick

masterlist

Iceman head cannon

*author's note* I am actually like this version alot better than Chasing Angels so far. Also the Charlie who is mentioned is the one from the first top gun movie

Second chapter will come next Wednesday

Summer 2005 

Tom “Iceman’ Kazansky wasn’t happy, in fact he was borderline furious, his daughter Bianca had gotten into the Naval Academy and was graduating at the top of her class, co valadicton with Steven Kerner the son of his former RIO and his husband Pete had decided at the last minute that he wanted to take a mission that would put him in the middle of  Indian Ocean for 6 weeks starting the day before she graduated. 

Right as their daughter was getting ready to  graduate and  ready to go to the Naval Academy. He forgave a lot with him, but this was not forgivable .  And Bianca was completely heartbroken about it,  though she played it off much like Maverick would have, cracking jokes and doing stupid stuff it still hurt her. So much so that she told his sister Ana that she only ever felt like she was Ice’s daughter, that when Maverick was around he cared more about Bradley then he did about her. 

And she was  his kid.  

And it had caused a lot of tension between Bianca and Bradley who had been super close when they were growing up, close enough that when he found out that Bianca wasn’t going to her junior prom due to not being asked, left school for the weekend and showed up at the Kazansky’s house and went with her. And for that Iceman would be forever grateful for that.  It made her special and wanted by people other than the members of their family. 

“Hey Commander, got a second?” A small voice came from the entrance of his office on the Naval base. Iceman, having been shaking from his thoughts, looked up and smiled. “For my daughter, I have all the time in the world.”  Bianca offered him a sad smile before she went into the office and folded herself into a ball on the leather couch.

 “Everything okay?” He asked as he got up to join her. Usually she never visited his office, she waited until he got home to talk about what happened at school.  “No.”  He knelt in front of her. “I went home early from school.” Seeing the look on her father’s face, “I wasn’t feeling good, Aunt Ana came and picked me up.” Bianca never skipped school unless she was sick like she was for a week in her junior year, “When we got home, Maverick was there.” 

She never referred to Maverick as her father, it was always Maverick.  That underlying anger that he had in him,  just under the surface, was bubbling up. He leaves for months on end and just shows up and throws everything out of whack. 

 “What happened?” 

“He  didn’t realize it was me.  He thought I was Uncle Alex’s daughter. How can someone forget his daughter? I know you sent pictures to him. I don’t look that much different do I?” 

Recently she and Iceman’s younger sister Ana  dyed her hair a red color which matched her personality well.  In fact it brought it out more.  “No sweetheart. You don’t look any different, just more beautiful.’  A small smile played on the corner of her mouth. 

“Was he always like this? Just up and leaving then showing up again when it's good for him?” He had moved to sit next to her couch and ran his hand over his head, ‘Yeah, he has always been like this.” “Then why be with you and why agree to raise me with you?” 

 “That kid I couldn’t tell you when you were first born, he was home a lot, he brought Bradley to meet you at the hospital. He carted you around more than I was able to. You were the light in a dark time in his life.” ‘If that was the case Dad, why doesn’t he want anything to do with me?  He would rather be around Bradley than me.”

 Ice put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. “I don’t know baby girl. I don’t.” The aide  knocked on the door, “Commander, they are ready for you.” “I should get home. I left Ana and Alex alone with Maverick.” He nodded his head before pressing  a kiss against the side of her head, “I will be home soon.” 

“Yes sir.” She grinned before standing up and brushing  past the aide who turned his head to watch her walk away before he met the Commanders eyes and flushed. “She is 17, and is off  limits to Sanders.”  “What are you going to do sir, when she is in Maryland thousands of miles away.’ 

 The commander smirked at that, he had friends all over the country and the woman that carried Bianca for him and Maverick, Charlie was  at the academy and would keep an eye on her too. She would be covered, but there was no way in hell he was going to admit that out loud.

~*~

The third garage door was open when Bianca pulled into her normal spot and frowned seeing Maverick standing tinkering with the old Mustang that they had gotten her for her 15th birthday. The last real time she had seen or spent time with him. His dark eyes went to her as she got out of the car. 

“Are you going to run away again?” He asked.

 ‘Are you?” She returned twirling the key ring around her finger, “What are you doing here Mav?” “You are graduating in a week.” 

She faked surprise and clapped her hands together, “Wow, I am surprised you knew that.” “I.” He started. “Don’t bullshit me Mav, you don’t remember anything or what to come home for anything . I wouldn’t be surprised if Dad or myself dropped dead that you would come rushing back from the carrier or that god damn hanger in the middle of nowhere.” 

 “How did you know about that?” 

Bianca raised her eyes to the sky and then back at him, “I went through your personnel file. Dad had it open on his computer and I was there working on homework. So I looked. And one day when I didn’t have school, I drove out there and saw you.” 

Maverick felt his heart drop to his stomach. That hanger was his hideaway, the one place he could go and be alone and wallow in the guilt he still felt years later of Goose’s death, of hurting Penny and Ice, hurting his daughter and destroying his relationship with Bradley. No one was ever meant to know about it. 

 “Why start a family Mav, when you really don’t want us? When you really didn’t want me? You were here when Aunt Carole died and stayed until you pulled Bradley’s papers. What did we do to make you hate us so much?” 

“B! Come in here and help with dinner before your uncle burns down the whole house.’ 

“Comin’ Ana.” She called back, “If you stay just don’t hurt dad again. He doesn’t need that. Not with him getting ready for another promotion.”  

“Princess! Let’s go!’ Alex called from the depths of the house. 

 Bianca just glanced at him once  before going into the kitchen, her aunt squeezing her elbow as she passed. “You know Pete, she is right.’ the older Kazansky girl commented as she stepped into the garage, her arms folded under her chest, “Tom doesn’t need  that hurt anymore and neither does that girl. When she found that you weren’t going to come because of that stupid deployment, she waited until my brothers went to bed and she cried herself to sleep. She thinks that you don’t want her, that Bradley is more important to you than her. You have really fucked up Pete.  You are going to have to make this right before you lose both of them for good.  They are your family and just because you are scared of losing them doesn’t make abandoning them okay. Not by a long shot.” 

Maverick felt completely numb as  Ana walked back into the house carrying a bottle of vodka  from the freezer calling into the house for Bianca to gather shot glasses, he knew that he had messed badly and he had for years, but he knew that his daughter would think she meant nothing to him, and that he cared for Bradley more than her.  Too much time had passed and he wondered if it was too late to make it up to not only Bianca but Iceman. 

#ash writes #top gun maverick fan fiction #top gun maverick imagines #icemav #pete maverick mitchell #iceman kazansky

[hphmseojunglee]

‘deed i do [2/4]

read on ao3

wc:

more info about this fic in this tumblr post

———

“Alright. I’ll do it.”

Five sets of eyes whip towards you. It’s the middle of breakfast on Wednesday morning. They’ve not said anything about Tonk’s idea last night, but you can tell that they are dying to know.

“You’re okay with it?” Penny’s blue eyes shine with anticipation and excitement. She spoke earlier about how tired she was of being approached. Luckily, since she started telling people that she was going with someone else, less brave souls tried. However, there were some older students with massive egos who thought they could change the Hufflepuff’s mind with chocolate or flowers. As you well know, some men believe the world revolves around them.

You nod. “I’m in.”

Tonks rubs their hands together. “Excellent! Now, we have to get your story straight.”

“There’s nothing straight about this story,” you mumble quietly into your tea.

Only Penny hears. She snorts and slaps you lightly on the thigh. “Shut up.”

Rowan picks up where Tonks left off. “Right. When did you two start dating?”

“I think last year would be good. You wanted to keep it a secret in the beginning, as a new relationship.” Chiara suggests as she takes a bite of her toast. “You did spend a lot of time visiting Penny in the Hospital Wing after she got attacked by that Dementor, Seojung.”

“She’s right… you visited her more than I did, and that’s saying something.” Tonks rubs their chin. “And I walked in on you two sharing a cot more than once.”

“It wasn’t my idea! Penny hates hospitals. She asked me to sleep with her so she doesn’t get nightmares. Who was I to refuse?”

Skye rolls her eyes. “Married.”

You flick a crumb at her. “Shut up.”

“This is good. Okay, so you shacked up after P’s Dementor attack, and you’ve been dating in secret ever since. You’re not fond of PDA, which is why you haven’t kissed or anything. On your first anniversary, this year, you decided to be less secretive. But you aren’t about dramatic gestures, which is why you didn’t do some stupid public ask to the dance.” Tonks lists off the details. “Any objections?”

Everyone shakes their heads.

“Great. Next, speaking of PDA… do you want to step it up, or keep it as-is?”

“What do you mean, ‘keep it as-is’?” You are perplexed. What is Tonks talking about?

“You really have no idea?” They raise an incredulous eyebrow.

“No…what?”

Rowan answers kindly. “You guys are so touchy, it could be interpreted as dating.”

“What! No!” Surely Rowan is exaggerating. But as you look around the table, everyone else nods in agreement. Except Penny.

“Pens, is this true?”

She shrugs. “I don’t think so, but we’re in the minority.”

“Alright. Well, I think we should add stuff like hand-holding, maybe kissing on the cheek and head?” You feel your cheeks heat up as you talk about kissing, but you steamroll on and hide your face in your mug.

“I agree. What do you think of pet names?”

You love terms of endearment. Perhaps to an unhealthy extent. But you probably should say something more acceptable. “I think that would help with the illusion. I wouldn’t be opposed. I’m partial to terms like ‘darling’, ‘honey’, and ‘yeobo’. How ‘bout you?”

Penny is practically bouncing in her seat. “Oh, I adore pet names! I can use ‘babe’, ‘love’, and ‘dear’.”

“Penny can start coming to your Quidditch practices and you can start walking her to classes.” Chiara smiles. “Maybe you can even share a bed? That’ll be the quickest way to get the rumor mill running.”

You nod, looking over at Penny. This is fine. You went as friends to the Celestial Ball and had a great time. The added “dating” things aren’t really a departure from how you two normally act. At least you don’t have to kiss her. Because if you had to kiss her, things would get really messy, really fast.

“Just make sure to cast some Muffling charms before you go to sleep. Jung snores.” Rowan scowls as she eats her oatmeal. “Loudly.”

“I do not! Chiara, back me up.”

The silver-haired girl shakes her head. “Sorry, Seojung. Rowan and I cast Silencing and Muffling charms every night on you after you fall asleep. Luckily, you turn in much earlier than the rest of us.”

Tonks scoffs. “You’re such an old man.”

“I’m going to un-seam all of your robes again, Tonks.”

They stick out their tongue and return to their steaming stack of pancakes.

“I’ll be the judge of whether or not Jung snores badly.” Penny smiles brightly, much too cheerfully, considering the time of day. “I’m sure it’s not bad!”

“Perfect! May Operation Swandive commence!” Tonks whoops and raises her goblet.

“Operation Swandive? What the hell, Tonks?”

They shrug. “What? Swans mate for life.”

“Fine.” You roll your eyes at Tonks’ shenanigans. “So, girlfriends?” You stick out your hand to Penny.

Skye groans. “A handshake? Come on, at least hug her, you dork.”

“Oh. Right.” Opening your arms, you smile in what you hope is a comforting way. It seems to work. Penny practically jumps into your arms like she always does. And just like yesterday in the Common Room, she pecks your cheek.

You make a mental note to talk to Penny about PDA and new boundaries later. You’re not sure what she’s comfortable with. For the moment, you follow her lead, playing the loving girlfriend and twisting Penny’s body so that her legs are resting on yours perpendicularly. Chiara asks you a question about Muggle jazz musicians, and you’re lost in the world of Ella Fitzgerald, Blossom Dearie, Sarah Vaughan, Keely Smith, and Billie Holiday. Otherwise, you would have noticed Tonks smirking at Penny, who is staring at you dreamily.

Before you know it, breakfast is over. The six of you pack up and head over to the Greenhouses.

You offer to carry Penny’s books the way there. Skye and Tonks make kissy noises behind the both of you, Rowan sighs, and Chiara giggles.

“Don’t make me hex you, Tonks.”

“Just focus on being a good girlfriend, Jung!”

—

When you and your friends arrive at Greenhouse 3 for Herbology, Penny thanks you for carrying her books with a sweet peck on the cheek. “Thanks, babe!”

“It’s my pleasure, honey.”

It has the intended effect. Instantly, all of your classmates, fellow Hufflepuffs and Slytherins, shut up and stare. You find Barnaby and Liz among the group. They’re both smiling. Liz gives you a double thumbs-up and mouths “Congrats”, throwing in a wink.

You ignore the many pairs of eyes drilling holes into your back as you arrive at your desk and set up the class supplies. No doubt there are a few boys who are insulted by the fact that they got turned away in favor of a girl. And many more students who would kill to be in your shoes.

Even if the circumstances are unconventional, you’re glad to be where you are. The fact that you are means that Penny trusts you very much. And the thought of Penny’s deep trust makes you smile.

Tonks huffs out a sigh as they stare at their leather gauntlets. “So, how are you going to save the Ball from being an awful clanger?”

“I have no idea how I’m going to try and change Pince’s mind.”

“Sounds like the first thing you need is an excuse to talk to her about the dance.”

“Yeah…” Your brainstorming is interrupted by Professor Sprout’s arrival. She bustles into the Greenhouse with an excited gleam in her eye.

“Good morning everyone, it’s time to begin today’s instruction. As you know, Professor Dumbledore announced the Valentine’s Day Ball yesterday. To help with the joyous occasion, I thought it would be helpful to grow flowers as decorations for the event!” Her wand seems to jump from a pocket on her coat into her hand.

“As some of you may recall, on Valentine’s Day in the past we used the Herbivicus Charm to grow roses. This year, however, we’ll be adapting the charm to grow this romantic bloom again as a bouquet.”

The instruction is pretty short, considering it is basically a review. Sprout teaches the spell and the wand movement within half an hour.

“Now, you try.”

Up and down the long tables, you can hear students attempting the spell. Penny attempts it before you do. The pot in front of her blooms into several pretty roses.

“Nice one, Pens!” You raise your hand for a high-five. She beams and gives you one.

“You should try next!”

“Alright. Herbivicus Duo!” Green light shoots from your wand. Not only does the pot sitting in front of you bloom, but the extra pots behind it bloom as well.

“Look at these! So lush and vivid! Filled with color, life, and romantic possibility! Well done, Miss Lee, five points to Hufflepuff. I believe these are the best in the class.”

You feel your face heat up again at the praise. “Thank you, Professor Sprout.”

Penny leans on your side and kisses you on the cheek in congratulations. That definitely doesn’t help with your blushing, but you find yourself wanting more. Before you can daydream about sappy things, Professor Sprout turns to the rest of the class.

“We should keep going. I’m sure Madam Pince will want to fill the room with flowers for the ball!”

Tonks smirks, charming another pot. “I’m not. Flowers can get messy, and that’s something I can’t see Pince appreciating!”

“But surely she’ll want a romantic mood. And what’s more romantic than lush bouquets of roses?” Trust Penny to be the sweet optimist. You want to give her a hug, but a thought pops into your mind, stopping you.

“Hold on…that’s it.” You address Professor Sprout. “Professor, Perhaps I should bring this bouquet to Madam Pince for approval?”

The head of Hufflepuff claps her hands. “Grand idea! Do so at your first opportunity!”

“Looks like you’ve got your chance to talk to Pince. Which means you’ll be the power couple at the Ball before you know it.” Skye joins the conversation and winks at both you and Penny.

“Only if I can turn Madam Pince around on the dance details.”

Sprout’s voice rings out on the other side of the Greenhouse. “Well done, everyone! Class dismissed. And have a happy Valentine’s Day, dears.”

As your classmates pack up and file out the door, they throw you and Penny a varying array of looks. Happy, envious, disapproving, supportive—they’re all there. Chiara’s suggestion seems to work perfectly.

You sling your satchel over your shoulder and address your friends. “I’d better get going, see you guys later. It’s time to confront Pince and maybe even get to help plan the Ball.”

Penny slides her hand into yours. “I’ll join you. Come on, Jung. We’ve a ball to save!”

Sure, you look a little stupid, holding a bouquet of roses with one hand and Penny’s hand with the other. But you don’t care. Penny’s hand fits perfectly in yours. All too quickly, you arrive at the Library. Reluctantly, you break contact with your best friend and go find the Librarian—you both figured going alone would be best. She’s at her desk, holding a rather large stamp and looking at a long list.

“Excuse me, Madam Pince. Professor Sprout asked me to bring—”

“Shh! Lower your voice, please.” Without looking up, she carefully presses the stamp down on a card.

“Sorry, Madam Pince.” You internally roll your eyes. Your voice wasn’t even that loud!

As she puts the stamp down and finally looks up, she speaks again. It seems you’ve caught her in one of her bad moods. Her eyebrows are turned down spectacularly low. “Miss Lee, you should know that plants in the library are prohibited. You will need to leave immediately.”

“Actually, the flowers are the reason I came to speak with you. Professor Sprout hoped you’d like to decorate the Great Hall with them for the Valentine’s Day Ball.”

Madam Pince’s forehead wrinkles lessen imperceptibly. “I didn’t realize she went through the trouble… But flowers only remind one of what they don’t have on a holiday, and this dance isn’t meant to make anyone feel more alone.”

“Why would flowers make anyone feel alone on Valentine’s Day?”

“Nevermind about that. It’s not my way to discuss such matters with students.” Immersing herself back in her bookkeeping, she attempts to dismiss you. Unfortunately for her, you’re incredibly stubborn and don’t care about

“It’s just- this ball is meant to be a celebration. And there are some concerns amongst students that…”

“Yes?” She looks up sharply.

“Well, that perhaps you might not have the same vision in mind for the ball as the students do.”

“Perhaps you’d like to enlighten me about the type of ball ‘the students’ would like to see.”

“With pleasure.”

You tell her what your friends have said. With every sentence, her mouth gets thinner, rivaling Professor McGonagall’s.

“So your classmates would like a loud, sugar-fuelled night of happy connections with your dates and friends. Bathed in flowers and bright lights, even. Is there anything else you can think of? Perhaps one more request?”

You probably shouldn’t push it, but you cheekily do anyway. “Certainly Butterbeer should be present. And then the night you just described sounds perfect.”

“There will be no floral arrangements at this dance. No sugary refreshments either, and the only sounds I want to hear that evening is a lonely classical Fortepiano.”

That sounds absolutely miserable, but you’re smart enough to not say that to Madam Pince’s face.

“As much as I love books, I don’t intend to force storybook romance on myself or others. No matter how much we all might want to believe in it.”

“But, Madam Pince—”

“No buts. Professor Dumbledore hand-picked me for this responsibility and asked me to do as I see fit. If you have issues with how I’m planning the event, I suggest you take it up with him.”

You sigh in disappointment, but nod quietly and walk away. Clearly, you have someone else to speak to. Heading back to Penny, you fill her in on what the Librarian told you.

“I better go see the Headmaster, because if I don’t, there might not be a Ball worth attending.”

“But first, we have Charms with Flitwick.”

There is no instruction during Charms. Everyone is so excited about the upcoming dance that no one is able to focus on the topic at hand. So Flitwick calls it a free period. You ask him to send a message to Professor Dumbledore. You need an appointment.

“Professor Dumbledore will be happy to meet with you. The password is Chocolate Frog. And, Miss Lee?”

“Yes?”

He smiles. “Good luck.”

—

After class, you and Penny walk together to the Headmaster’s office.

“I’ll wait out here. You’ve got this, babe.”

You’re pretty confident that Professor Dumbledore will be on your side. As you walk up the circular staircase, you run over your lines. At the top of the staircase, there is a large wooden door. Knocking thrice, you wait for an answer.

“Enter.”

The door silently moves without your doing, revealing Professor Dumbledore at his desk. He stands as you enter the expansive office.

“Professor Dumbledore, thank you for seeing me. It’s about Madam Pince and the Valentine’s Day Ball.”

“I trust that you and your friends are excited for the event?” There’s a twinkle in his eye as he gestures for you to sit down in a comfy chair. He takes the one across from you.

“It’s all anyone can talk about. And we’re especially excited to spend time connecting with friends, and about the prospect of choosing who to take to the ball. But I’m worried Madam Pince’s plans for the event are a bit…rigid.”

“You are not the first student to tell me that Madam Pince is set in her ways. It often serves her well.”

“Perhaps not this time. I’m not sure the students will appreciate the event she’s planning.”

Professor Dumbledore smiles and inclines his head. “What has Madam Pince planned for the ball that has you so worried?”

“No roses, no lights, no sweets, and only soft, sad piano music. I just can’t understand why anyone would want a party like that!” In your passionate rant, you shake your head so hard that your glasses almost fly off.

“The party the students want certainly sounds festive. And Madam Pince may have different ideas for the ball… So perhaps a compromise can be reached.”

A compromise? You doubt that will happen. Madam Pince seems to be a very stubborn and convicted person, much like yourself. You put your head in your hands. “I don’t know about that. Madam Pince said flowers would make people feel lonely. Who doesn’t love flowers on Valentine’s Day? And she doesn’t want to quote-unquote, ‘force storybook romance on people, even if they want to believe in it’. It doesn't even make sense. How can I reason with logic like that?”

Dumbledore smiles, steepling his hands in front of him. “It sounds like Madam Pince shared more with you than you realize. Sometimes listening to what someone is really saying requires more than using one’s ears. Perhaps you should listen with your heart. Do that, and I think you’ll find the answers you seek.”

“If you think that will help, I’ll try again.” Internally, you don’t think it will help, but maybe Madam Pince has more respect for the Headmaster than she does of you.

He rubs his chin. “Perhaps it would help to share why you care so much about this Ball.”

“We need something positive and celebratory. It would be nice to have something nice lift us up.”

“I’m happy to know there is a student who cares enough about this ball to ensure its success. Just listen with your heart and consider another way… and you and your friends will have a Ball to remember.”

“Thank you, Professor Dumbledore. With your advice, perhaps I can still save this ball.”

“And you may yet show Madam Pince the true spirit of the day we will be celebrating. Have a good day, Miss Lee.” Dumbledore stands and runs a hand over Fawkes’ head. It’s a clear dismissal, so you thank him quickly and make your way to the door.

As you walk back down the circular staircase, you mull over Professor Dumbledore’s suggestion. Time to call in reinforcements. Starting with the most optimistic witch in the entire school, Penny Haywood.

Luckily, Penny is still at the foot of the stairs, like she promised.

“How did it go?” She loops an arm around yours as you make your way back to the Library.

“I’m… not sure. I tried talking to Dumbledore about Madam Pince’s plans for the event, and he suggested I listen to her with my heart rather than my head. I don’t do that!”

“I know, love. But if the advice came from Dumbledore, it’s sure to help us solve our Pince predicament.”

You chuckle at the alliteration as the both of you cross over the threshold to the Library.

“I think so, too. But to really listen, first we need to get her to talk to me again. How are we going to do that?”

“Shhh!” Speak of the devil. The Librarian appears seemingly out of nowhere.

“Sorry, Madam Pince. Penny and I were hoping to talk to you about the Valentine’s Day Ball?”

“Not this again. I told you, everything is under control. And it’s frankly insulting that you continue to stick your nose in matters that the Headmaster put me in charge of.”

Your immediate instinct is to snap back. However, you remember the conversation you just had with Professor Dumbledore. Taking a calming breath, you swallow your annoyance and try a different tack.

“You’re right. Professor Dumbledore assured me that you want to make this a wonderful event. But he also thought we should try and collaborate with you in an effort to make it a grand ball for all.”

That stops her ire. “Well, if the Headmaster took the time to suggest it…”

“I think Penny and I would be able to help if we understood why you want the ball to be so simple.”

“I simply don’t want to create a storybook version of romance at this dance. Such fairy tales don’t end happily. In fact, they can leave one feeling more on the outside than ever. I don’t want anyone feeling excluded or lonely.”

“No one will be lonely, Madam Pince.”

Penny agrees with you. “Valentine’s Day is about connections of all kinds, including friendship!”

You give her a lopsided smile as the warmth in your chest grows stronger. You love Penny so much. She’s simply too good for this world.

“It’s simply a matter of controlling expectations and avoiding disappointment. Some people may feel out-of-place at a romantic event where they aren’t with someone they care about.” Madam Pince’s voice shakes you out of your thoughts.

You and Penny share a look. There it is: the crux of the situation. Before you can say anything, she speaks again.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a serious matter to attend to. Good day, Miss Lee, Miss Haywood.”

With a curt nod, Madam Pince turns and walks away, leaving you and Penny to think about the conversation.

“Well, Jung, I think we both listened with our hearts.”

“Mine says Madam Pince might be lonely and doesn’t want anyone else to feel like that, either.”

“It’s understandable. Being with someone who makes your heart feel as warm as a freshly brewed potion, well, that’s what Valentine’s Day is all about. And, truth is, you make my heart feel like that, Seojung.”

“That’s really sweet, Penny.” You open your arms and raise an eyebrow. “What are you waiting for?”

She barrels into your arms without a second thought. You’re much less likely to initiate contact than she is, so she takes full advantage of every opportunity she is given when you do take the first step.

“You definitely need to sort out this Valentine’s Day Ball business first or there won’t be a ball worth going to.”

“Out! Out!” All of a sudden, Filch’s rough tenor can be heard near the entrance. A poor first-year Gryffindor scurries out the door with his proverbial tail between his legs, sufficiently scolded for eating in the Library.

“Oh, Madam Pince! Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to cause a ruckus in your library.”

“It’s quite all right, Mr. Filch. I’m sure you were taking care of a disturbance so I wouldn’t have to. Such a gentleman. I actually wanted to thank you for helping me with the dance preparations.”

“Why, of course, Madam Pince!”

You can’t believe your eyes. Madam Pince is actually smiling. At Mr. Filch, no less. It’s an unlikely pairing, but the more you think about it, the more you can see how it works. They both like rules and the simpler side of life. They seem to enjoy scolding students and handing out punishments. Both are fiercely protective of the things they love. Yes, Filch and Pince.

“Look at that. Perhaps Beauty isn’t the only one who can tame the Beast. Pince can, too!” Penny winks at you.

“Wait, that’s it, Pens! We need to make Madam Pince believe in fairy tales again, and show her the true meaning of Valentine’s Day by cheering her up with her own valentine!”

“Oh, how adorable! That’s brilliant, babe!” You resist the urge to kiss her, right there in the library.

“If I can make the two connect, then maybe Madam Pince will finally listen to our ideas about the ball.”

“You’ve got to get Mr. Filch’s attention if you want to talk to them. And to do that, you might need to get in trouble. Not that you have a hard time with that.”

“Hey!” You push her gently.

“You know I’m right.” Her bright blue eyes glimmer with amusement. You can’t bring yourself to disagree, because it’s true. Penny is usually right. That’s just how life is.

“Alright, fine. But there’s someone who knows better-Merula.”

“She’s in Astronomy with me. I’ll let her know you want to chat in the Courtyard, if that’s okay.”

You nod in agreement. “Hey, if you want to ask her, I won’t complain. Thanks, Pens.”

“Meet me in the Common Room later?”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll get some studying done here first.”

“Catch you later, Hero.”

With a light peck on the cheek and an easy smile, Penny is gone.

You mean to do your History of Magic assignment, you really do. But you can’t stop thinking about Penny and her casual touches. It’s driving you insane. You’re surprised you’ve managed to hold it together this long. If you two are going to share a bed tonight, you might just die right there.

Someone snaps their fingers under your nose. It’s Rowan, who looks quite concerned.

“Oh, hey Row. What’s up?”

Your best friend rolls her eyes. “Don’t even bother trying. You’re a horrible actor. I tried calling your name five times! What’s biting you?”

This time, you smile and chuckle at Rowan’s attempt to use an American phrase. “That’s ‘eating at you’, but… I think you know.”

“Penny?”

“Penny.”

She takes out her schoolbooks and cracks open her Potions textbook. “How are you doing with that?”

“I wish it was real.” The words fall out of your mouth before you can stop them at your teeth. You pause. “I love her. A lot.”

Rowan pushes her glasses up her nose. “Have you considered telling her?”

“Yeah… I’m worried how she’ll react. What if she doesn’t want to be friends anymore?”

The dark-haired girl snorts. “As if Penny Haywood would ever do that to you. You don’t have to worry about her cutting off your guys’ friendship.” She lays a hand on your forearm. “For what it’s worth, I think you should ask her to the ball as actual dates. Let her know how you feel, for real.”

You nod slowly. You’ve known Rowan even longer than you’ve known Penny, and you know she wouldn’t lead you wrong on purpose. She knows both you and Penny very well. “Thanks, Rowan. I’ll think about it. If the Ball preparations go right, maybe.” Pulling out your silver pocketwatch, you pop open the cover and look at the time. “I’ve got to go. I need to go convince Merula to help me get Filch’s attention.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Tell me about it over dinner?”

“You bet. See you, Row.”

—

“All right, Lee, what do you want? Haywood said it was urgent.” Merula stands near the fountain with her arms crossed, not caring that you can barely catch your breath.

You roll your eyes and clutch at your sides. Running was not your strong suit. You need to work out more often.

“I need your help getting Filch’s attention so that I can cheer up Madam Pince and save the Ball.”

The Slytherin raises an incredulous eyebrow. “I’m not sure I understand why one grump helping another grump plan a ball is even remotely a good idea.”

“I just saw them in the Library earlier. The two of them looked happy talking to each other. She seems to want to believe in storybook romance. So perhaps Filch could be Madam Pince’s valentine? I’m hoping I can get Filch to think my ideas are the same as Pince’s, then the ball might be a success.”

“That’s quite the nefarious plan, Lee. All right, I’m in. And I want this Ball to be a good time. What if… we did something to Mrs. Norris? That’s sure to get him to react.”

“That’s a good idea! What’s something easily reversible?”

She sniffs. “That’s easy. Colovaria.”

You take a second to think about it. “I like it. You’re really on a roll today.”

“It’s a brilliant idea. I’m the Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts, and I have the best ideas. You wish you had thought of it.”

You don’t bother to respond to her preening. It’s incorrect. Obviously, McGonagall is the Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts. Instead, you change the subject.

“So, why are you so invested in helping Pince?”

“Because I don’t want the Ball to be a bore. You heard her plans.” She rolls her eyes. “Still, Pince and Filch. What a strange couple.”

“It might be strange, but they’ll get no judgment from me.”

“Suppose we could be an even odder couple if we were to show up together. Of course, you’d be the odd one. The Most Powerful Witch at Hogwarts isn’t odd. She’s awesome.”

You sigh. “Honestly, Merula, I’m still not over all the abuse you gave us the first few years we were at Hogwarts. I’d barely even call us on good terms. You still have a lot to make up for. So even if I was available, I wouldn’t want to go with you. But I’m going with Penny, so I’m not available anyway.”

She nods, looking like she sucked on a bad lemon. “You know what? Forget I said anything.”

“Done.” You shrug. “Okay, I need to get Filch to see things our way. Oh, there’s Filch and Mrs. Norris now.”

Merula turns to where your head is tilted towards. She pulls out her wand and grins devilishly. “Ready?” At your nod, she fires off an enthusiastic Colovaria! at the Maine Coon.

It’s a little concerning how much pleasure Merula is deriving from this, but you have more pressing matters. Mrs. Norris turns a bright neon pink and yowls indignantly.

“Gamey goblin bogies! Who’s responsible for this?!” He looks around, making eye contact with you. “Lee! You’re coming with me!”

“Looks like you got his attention. Now, let’s see what you do with it. Good luck, Lee.”

You roll your eyes as you walk away. “Thanks, Merula.”

—

Upon opening the door to Filch’s office, he explodes on you.

“How dare you do such a nasty prank to a poor, sweet, innocent creature like Mrs. Norris!”

Sweet? Innocent? You barely hold back a scoff. Mrs. Norris is anything but.

“The next words out of your mouth better be an apology, Ms. Lee.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Filch.”

“Not to me, to Mrs. Norris!” The caretaker growls, spittle flying from his mouth.

“Oh! Sorry, Mrs. Norris.”

You take out your wand and reverse the spell.

“Why would you do this to a magnificent creature like Mrs. Norris?”

“It was for the ball. Speaking of which, I was really hoping to talk to you about the Valentine’s Day Ball, Mr. Filch.”

That certainly gets his attention. A brief look of worry crosses his face. “Why? Has Madam Pince said something? Is she upset with how I’ve been stacking the chairs?”

“Not…exactly. But you really do care about what she thinks, right?”

“No! I’m just helping set up the ball for Madam Pince as she has enough on her plate.”

“Oh, because I happen to know that Madam Pince is looking for more help. Someone to discuss her ideas and truly collaborate with her.”

“Is that so?” Filch takes Mrs. Norris into his arms and starts stroking her head.

“I thought perhaps you might want to be the one to talk to her about the ball?”

“What, no! How could I help? I don’t know anything about planning dances!”

Mr. Filch unwittingly opens the door for your persuasion. “Actually, I happen to know some of the things Madam Pince wants to see for the Ball.”

“You do? Might be useful for our next event planning meeting later today…”

“It certainly would. Perhaps I could help you get organized for your meeting?”

“All right, you can help me. But no funny business!”

With a few white lies and half-truths, you fill Mr. Filch in on what “Madam Pince” would like to see at the Valentine’s Day Ball.

“So Madam Pince wants sophisticated refreshments and refined music and elegant flowers.”

“Yes, and she also wants the party to be fun. But something people of all ages will enjoy. I think she really needs a peer she respects to confirm all of these notions. So perhaps you could tell her you like those things, too?” You give him your sweetest smile.

“But I don’t like those things!”

“Are you sure, Mr. Filch? Because Madam Pince sure does. In fact, I think she really wants to believe that the night could be romantic and special for everyone, but is afraid that people who don’t have someone special in their life might not enjoy it as much.”

He shakes his head quickly. “I wouldn’t want such a marvelous woman as Madam Pince to feel she isn’t getting the ball she wants. And I suppose those things might suit a dance like this.”

“It seems Madam Pince wants this night to be like a storybook romantic ball right out of a fairy tale! Perhaps you should dress the part when you go to the meeting? To show you truly understand her vision.”

“Dress the part? I wouldn’t even know how! I’m not magical like Madam Pince, I’m just Squib.” He spits the last part out like it’s a terrible affliction. Part of you feel bad for him, surrounded by such wondrous magic and unable to partake in it.

“I bet Madam Pince likes you just the way you are, Mr. Filch. Magical or not. But, if it would make you feel better, I know someone who could give you a makeover!”

“A what?! Out of the question. You kids and your new-fangled ideas…”

You ignore him and continue. “Looking your best is always a good idea. Sprucing yourself up will feel great! And Madam Pince might like it, too.”

“Well, let’s be quick about it! I’ve still got other duties to attend to.”

—

“Andre, I need a favor…” You poke your head into the Transfiguration classroom.

“This better be good, Seojung, I’m already busy enough making outfits for the Ball!” Andre Egwu, the most stylish person you know at Hogwarts, is currently surrounded by random patterns and many manikins.

“Trust me, the Ball won’t be worth your effort unless we get your help right now.” You step fully into the classroom, Mr. Filch right behind.

“Excuse me? It will be a proper event, with or without your contribution, Miss Lee. Remember we’re here to help Madam Pince achieve her vision for a romantic ball and for nothing else.” Mr. Filch snaps at you.

Andre’s confusion is clear on his face. “Her vision? I thought that Pince’s boring ball ideas were the problem in the first place.” Oh, Andre. You want to clap a hand across his mouth, but it’s too late.

Filch glares at you. “Boring?! What is he going on about?”

“Andre, Mr. Filch is going to help Madam Pince have a storybook Valentine’s Ball just like we all want. I was just explaining she wants fun and lights and romance, she’s just having trouble seeing that. But as she seems to very much respect Mr. Filch, he’s agreed to talk to her about it.”

His eyes clear up. “Now I understand what we’re after. That’s proper brillant, Jung. So how can I help?”

“Well, any romantic storybook Valentine’s Day features a dashing, well-dressed suitor for the ball’s host…”

“I see. So we’re thinking a full makeover?” He scans Filch from head to toe, gears already spinning in his head.

“There’s that ridiculous word again! I never agreed to anything of the sort.”

You grin and pull the Madam Pince card again. “Remember you’re giving your colleague a happy Valentine’s Day!”

“We all really want this to be a magical night, Mr. Filch, and you can reflect that with how you dress.” Andre pipes up, waving at the many half-finished project scattered around the room.

Mrs. Norris meows languidly and stretches at Mr. Filch’s feet. For once, she is at ease.

“See? Even Mrs. Norris agrees!”

“All right. I’ll let you try your hand at it, but I don’t want anything too frilly. Or colorful. Or uncomfortable.”

You step back and watch as Andre takes Filch’s measurements and quickly throws together a formal, ball-worthy outfit for the custodian. Before long, Mr. Filch is behind the partition, trying on the clothes. When he steps out, it’s like there a whole new person has replaced the man you know.

Mr. Filch is wearing a handsome pinstriped three-piece suit, complete with the long tuxedo tails, spats, and a tophat. All he needs is a cane, and he could be the front man for a tap show.

“I cannot believe what I’m seeing…” Andre’s jaw hangs open.

“It’s horrible, isn’t it?!?”

“No, you look quite handsome, Mr. Filch. The question is, will Madam Pince like it?”

The fashion whiz regains his footing and collects himself. “I believe she will. If it weren’t for Filch’s scowl I’d almost mistake him for a gentleman.” You wince at the dig. Andre seems to really want to piss Filch off. Thankfully, Mr. Filch is too busy looking at his boutonniere to hear him.

Mrs. Norris comes out from behind the partition as well. She is dressed in a matching bowtie, cuffs, and tophat. You think she looks adorable, for once. Andre is a genius.

“So, do you feel ready for your meeting with Madam Pince, Mr. Filch?”

“Wait a second, my tie is crooked…” As the Caretaker fiddles with his bowtie, you turn to Andre.

“Thank you for helping me. The ball wouldn’t be the same without your stylish eye for clothes.”

“Oh, please say more. It was my pleasure, Curse-Breaker. Good luck with Pince.” With an impish wink, he returns to his work.

“We’d better get a move on, Miss Lee. Can't keep Madam Pince waiting, now can we?”

You agree and together head out. The Library is a short jaunt up a few flights of stairs. Unfortunately, Madam Pince is nowhere to be found. You scan the aisles and find a familiar face.

“Hey, Talbott. How’re you?”

Tallbott Winger gives you a small smile. He’s reading a thick textbook in another language you can’t understand. “Fine, I suppose. And you?”

“On a mission. Have you seen Pince?”

“Madam Pince is putting jinxes on some of the new books.”

Mr. Filch suddenly comes up next to you and Talbott. “Here to cause trouble, Mr. Winger? I bet you are!”

“Keep your voice down, Mr. Filch. Madam Pince wouldn’t want us to disturb the quiet of the library.”

“Fine, but only because Madam Pince wouldn’t appreciate it.” Mr. Filch looks down at his outfit again. “I can’t believe you convinced me to wear this ridiculous outfit.”

“You look handsome, Mr. Filch, not ridiculous. Just as I said before.”

It seems that Mr. Filch is unable to take compliments. His face twists into a scowl. “Bah! I’m going to go find Madam Pince.” With a swish of his coattails, he walks to the Forbidden section of the library.

Talbott raises his eyebrows as he watches Filch leave. “I’ve heard you’re trying to save the Valentine’s Day Ball.”

“Yep. I’ve enlisted Mr. Filch to help persuade Madam Pince to make it a lot more fun. And maybe even be her valentine.”

“I’d like to help.”

You have a double take, looking quizzically at the introverted Ravenclaw. It seems rather unlike him to care about this sort of thing. “Really? I didn’t realize you were interested in the Ball.”

“A lot of things you don’t know about me, Lee. But it would be worth it if you were there. I wasn’t planning on seeing you here, but now that I have, I want to ask you to the Ball.”

“That’s really kind of you, Talbott… I’m already going with Penny, sorry.” It doesn’t surprise you that Talbott hasn’t heard the gossip flying around the castle. He keeps to himself very well. A small part of you hopes he’s okay with it, because he’s close friends with Penny. Not that you’re looking for validation.

The quiet boy takes it in stride. He nods slightly and gives his signature quirk of his lips. “That’s all right. You two make a great couple! And don’t worry, I’d still like to help. First, you definitely need to talk to Pince and save the dance. Now we really need to make sure it’s a great night.”

“Thanks, Talbott. Speak of the devil…” You both fall silent as Mr. Filch and Madam Pince near you. That way, they couldn’t possibly lecture you. But, as it turns out, they wouldn’t have heard you anyway. They are in the midst of a conversation of their own.

“My, you’re looking quite dapper, Argus.”

“Thank you, Irma. I was hoping to try something different today…though I’m now worried I look like a Hippogriff’s behind.”

“Nothing of the sort. I think it looks very nice. And I won’t hear anything different.” Madam Pince smiles elegantly at Mr. Filch. It shapes her face quite nicely, turning her into a different woman. But just as quickly as it came, the smile drops at the sight of you.

“I see you’re back, Miss Lee. This time with Mr. Winger, it seems. Can I ask why?”

You turn to the caretaker. “I’ll let Mr. Filch fill you in.”

“Miss Lee here was helping me get organized for our meeting.”

Madam Pince nods. “Very well. Let’s start our meeting, then.”

And so the meeting happens. You, Mr. Filch, and Talbott outline your suggestions. Finally, Mr. Filch does what you asked him.

“I think your Valentine’s Day Ball vision would be even better with tasteful sweet refreshments, smart music, and beautiful flowers fit for a woman such as yourself, Madam Pince.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Mr. Filch… it’s all a bit much.”

You quickly speak up. “Madam Pince, you should know that Mr. Filch worked really hard to come up with ideas that fit your vision. We talked about string music to liven up the mood but keep it classy, delicious treats and tasteful, red flowers. Mr. Filch has your best interests at heart, Madam Pince.”

Talbott pipes in. “And isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is about: heart?”

You continue. “We just want to make sure that you and Mr. Filch get the Valentine’s Day Ball you both want.”

“Me and… Mr. Filch?” Your words seem to have an effect on the librarian.

The caretaker removes his tophat and worries the brim with both hands. “Well, not- I don’t mean to presume or nothin’… but, well, you deserve a fairy tale ball, Madam Pince. Something right out of one of the story books you have here in the Library, even.”

“And Mr. Filch will be right by your side making sure everything turns out just as you like!” You use your best Penny smile to inject as much optimism as you can into your words.

“He will?”

Talbott nods sagely. “He will.”

“Well… yes, it would be my honor, Madam Pince… If you’ll have me, that is.” Mr. Filch bows his head slightly.

“I suppose I may have been a little too utilitarian with the festivities. Adding some tasteful flair may be in order. What Mr. Filch has described sounds simply wonderful. Magical, even, like a fairy tale, just as he said. Perhaps people of all types can enjoy connecting on Valentine’s Day, after all.”

“I wholeheartedly agree, Madam Pince.” Yes! Success. You did it!

Talbott smiled. “I agree, too.”

“The only problem is that now there’s so much to prepare with these new ideas!” There is a new light in Madam Pince’s eyes as she considers the new tasks.

Thankfully, Mr. Filch rises to the opportunity. He pledges his assistance. “Don’t worry, Madam Pince, I’ll help you.”

“Talbott and I can help too! And our friends, of course.”

“All right, Miss Lee, get your friends together to help. We’ve a romantic storybook ball to plan. Don’t forget that this should still be a classy sort of fun, even the music.” She sternly reminds you that she is still in control.

“Don’t worry, Madam Pince. I know just the person to talk to about romantic music.”

Bidding farewell to the Librarian, Mr. Filch, and Talbott, you make your way to the Hufflepuff Common Room. Talking with Chiara will have to wait for tomorrow. You have a study session with Penny to prepare for. You make a mental note to ask Chiara at dinner tonight or breakfast tomorrow.

Penny greets you with a big hug and another kiss on the cheek. She seems to like it as much as you do. “How did it go?” Grasping your hand earnestly, she steers you over to an empty table in the corner of the Common Room.

“Really good. I managed to change Pince’s mind with a little help from Filch. Andre gave him a makeover and everything. He cleans up well. How was Astronomy?”

“Utterly boring. I wish you were there.” She pouts. “Stuff isn’t fun if you’re not around.”

Penny always seems to know just what to say. That weird feeling in your chest grows again. Spending time with the blonde Hufflepuff is one of your favorite things to do.

You bump her shoulder with yours. “I missed you, too. And I really need help with my Potions essay.”

“I see how it is. You only talk to me for my brains.” Penny crosses her arm in faux-anger. Her fond smile gives it away.

“Not true! You also compliment me a lot.”

She shoves you in the shoulder. “The nerve!”

You grab one of her hands. “Seriously though. I’m glad you’re my friend. You’re important to me for much more than just homework. I promise, I’ll always be around.”

All your worries about saying the wrong thing are wiped away with Penny’s embrace. She smells like roses and patchouli, and the scent fills your lungs.

She cuddles close to you as she explains the potion Snape covered in lecture today. Her ability to break down complicated concepts into simple terms is what’s keeping your ass afloat in Potions.

With Penny’s help, you finish the essay for Potions and move onto the DADA one you started the day before. With renewed focus and the help of your best friend, you manage to scrape together the right words for that assignment as well. In exchange, you offer help with Transfiguration, Muggle Studies, and Charms.

You lose track of time, realizing that afternoon has turned into evening only when you glance out one of the windows.

“Damn, it’s night already?”

Penny laughs kindly. “Yes, we missed dinner. Are you hungry?”

Your stomach joins the conversation, growling like an old automobile.

“I guess that answers that. Come on.” She stands and offers a hand. “We can get something from the Kitchen.”

You’re thankful that the Hufflepuff Common Room is right next to the Kitchen. It makes getting midnight snacks easy.

Despite the late hour, the Kitchen is still thrumming with energy, its numerous hearths still roaring away. A house elf, Dory, approaches them. “Good evening, Misses. What can Dory do for you?”

“Good evening, Dory! Seojung and I missed dinner, we got caught up in our studies. We were wondering if there were any leftovers?”

Dory grins and pops away with a snap of her fingers. She reappears with a tray of steaming sandwiches and two covered bowls. You gratefully take the tray from the elf. “Thanks, Dory. We appreciate it.”

Dory curtsies. “Dory is happy to help. Enjoy!” She snaps her fingers again, leaving you and Penny alone.

“Come on.” Holding the tray carefully, so as not to spill the precious goods, you lead the way back to the Common Room.

Over the late but scrumptious meal, you chat about upcoming exams and the younger students Penny had to reprimand. You don’t envy her position at all. Being a Prefect seems too stressful for you.

Pretty soon, the other students retire to their beds. One by one, until it’s just you and Penny sitting in the quiet room.

You remember the note you gave yourself at breakfast. “Hey, Pens?”

“Hm?” Penny smiles in response to your nickname for her. It’s something only you alone are allowed to use. Tonks might call her Penne from time to time, but they usually just call her P.

“I wanted to ask about PDA and boundaries… and other stuff. Just making sure we’re on the same page.”

“Of course. What’s up?”

“How much PDA are you comfortable with? Anything that’s completely off-limits?”

She wrinkles her nose. “I hate when people snog in the hallways and in front of other people. Could they have a little more class? Definitely nothing like that will fly with me. But quick little kisses as greetings, I’m fine with.”

You nod, taking everything she says to heart. “I feel the same way. The sounds people make when sucking on each other’s faces make me sick. But I… really like when you kiss my cheek, so you can definitely do more of that.”

You don’t look at Penny as you speak, too embarrassed to make eye contact. Instead, you pick up a pen and spin it aimlessly. But Penny has other ideas. She reaches forward and gently cups your face, turning it so that you’re facing her. She leans closer, never once breaking eye contact.

“You promise me you’re telling the truth?”

“I promise.”

Her lips touch your cheek and linger there. When she pulls back, she searches your eyes for any pushback. “Is something like that okay?”

You feel your lips curl up before you can even tell them to move. “More than.”

The clock above the fireplace chimes, signaling the new hour, making you jump. It is ten o’clock, your bedtime. You stretch, hearing the bones in your neck and upper back pop and crackle. Your sitting posture is a bit poor. Okay, a lot poor.

As you pack up your schoolwork, you look over at Penny, who is doing the same. “Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?”

“Sure. I’ll get washed up and come over.” She yawns and raises her arms over her head, stretching her sides.

You give her a thumbs-up and go to your room, changing into pajamas and washing up in the bathroom. As you’re finishing up a diary entry, Penny comes into the room. She’s wearing a light blue t-shirt and light grey sweatpants, quite similar to your sleepwear. The only difference is that your top is dark blue.

“Look at us, two Hufflepuffs wearing Ravenclaw colors. A disgrace to the house.”

Penny snorts as she climbs under the covers and closes the curtains on her side. “It’s not our fault that blue is our favorite color. Though the Sorting Hat did consider putting me in Ravenclaw.”

“Same. But I wanted to be in Hufflepuff, because Jacob was in Hufflepuff. I felt like I had to prove that I could be in the same house as him and not turn out the same way.” You slip your glasses off and toss them lightly onto your bedside table, clicking off the lamp and closing the curtains. Casting a muffling charm, you turn back to the other girl. “My biggest fear is turning out like him.”

“You won’t. You have your friends to keep you from turning out that way. And you have me.” It’s dark now without the light from your nightstand, but you can hear the smile in Penny’s voice as she calmly encourages you.

“Thanks, Pens.” You’ll probably regret it later, but you pull her close so that her head is resting on your chest and shoulder. You cross your fingers and hope that she can’t hear how fast your betraying heart is currently thumping inside your ribcage.

She gives you a tiny kiss on your collarbone and snakes an arm around your waist. “Goodnight, Jung. Thanks for everything.”

Throwing caution into the wind. You lean forward and press your lips on the part of Penny’s forehead you can reach. Laying back, you feel the blonde’s breathing deepening and slowing down. Pretty soon, she’s out.

The constant weight on your right side is comforting, but you are hyperaware of the closeness. It makes your skin prickle. You tell yourself that it’s worth seeing Penny so happy.

But yeah. It’s going to be a long night.

———

#hphmseojunglee #hogwarts mystery #hphm #harry potter hogwarts mystery #seojung lee #hphm mc #jacob's sibling #penny haywood #penny haywood & player character #penny haywood/player character #seojung x penny #penny haywood x female!mc #penny haywood x mc #hphm fanfiction #hphm fanfic #sapphic fanfic #wlw fanfic #ao3 fanfic #lol the merula slander cleanses my soul #honestly sickens me how she’s an option #for dating in the game bc she’s literally the worst and a bully #really spreading a great message about abusive relationships there jc /s #anyway #merula synde stans dni

[byliever]

Maple, Harvest, Amber, Maize, Quilt for the autumn asks!

Maple - Is there a hobby/skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

I've always wanted to learn how to play the piano. It might have been something I picked up from my dad because he always wanted to learn too.

Harvest -What fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

Mike Wheeler. A lot of the things he struggles with in his life, from coming to terms with his sexuality, to his familial conflicts, to wanting to avoid adulthood and stay a child forever, are all things that made me identify with him deeply. Combine that with the fact that we share many ascribed status characteristics (white, male, middle child, middle class, overworked mother, emotionally distant/neglectful father, etc.) We have a lot of similarities.

Amber-Share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

I believe that, in order for Stranger Things to have proper stakes and get the audience emotionally invested, the writers need to have the balls to kill characters that we know and love.

Barb, Bob, Alexi, and Eddie. With the exception of Barb, all of these characters were lovable newbies, people introduced and then killed in the same season. The writers' problem is that they've fallen in love with the characters they've created and they're scared to kill any of them off, lest they risk upsetting the audience.

It's stupid. If you constantly put people through the wringer, but the audience knows that nobody except the group newbie is actually at risk of dying, there's no reason to get emotionally invested.

What's the one scene we all remember from Season 4, the first one that pops into your head? Max under Vecna's spell, right? At the end of Episode 4? Why? Because it's an intense, emotional scene because it's Max. It's someone we've grown to love over 2 seasons. It's why everyone's hearts were pounding when we saw Nancy running through the Upside Down away from Vecna because it's Nancy. We know Nancy. We love Nancy. We've followed her journey since Season 1.

If the writers want people to get emotional, they need to go after the people we love. I'm not saying Bob Newby or Eddie Munson's deaths weren't sad or that we didn't love them. It's just that at this point, it's a pattern. You know a new character has a high chance of dying before the season is finished the second they appear on the screen.

Maize-Share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

Probably not the weirdest encounter but it's the first I thought of. I was finishing up class this past Wednesday and about to start my walk home when I realized I was kind of thirsty. I knew there was a vending machine nearby so I figured, "why not?" and spent about a minute in front of the machine trying to decide what to purchase. I make my decision (a Pepsi) and swing my backpack off my shoulder so I can access my money pouch. Suddenly, there's an older guy, a professor probably, walking by. He notices what I'm doing and asks if I'm buying something. I say yes and he plunges his hand into his pocket, takes out a huge handful of coins, takes my hand, and puts the coins in my hand, telling me I can use these and that he doesn't like the sound the coins make when they rub together in his pocket and that's why he hates carrying them. I ask him if he's sure and he just nods, smiles, and goes off down the hall.

I did end up using the coins to make my purchase.

Quilt-How do you take your tea (or coffee)?

With coffee, I tend to add plain whole milk and sugar. I don't enjoy the bland taste of plain black coffee, but I don't like the creamer my mom purchases, so milk and sugar are a good compromise.

With tea, it depends on the flavor. For example, I'm currently drinking a cinnamon-flavored black tea that's so good, I don't need to add anything. With plain black tea, which is what I usually drink, I typically just add a bit of sugar.

Green tea is another story since it's disgusting.

Thanks for the asks, TJ! Hope you're doing well!

[petalsoffarose]

September 4th

Where to even fucking start.

We went to see the movie, you said you liked it. Liked it so much you would see it again. That pissed me off so much. I cried on the car ride home. You noticed but I just said nothing was wrong and acted like you were crazy.

I don't know if I wrote about it but I sat with you while you got your car serviced. Absolute definition of girlfriend shit.

We moved onto campus and of course we've spent more nights together than we have apart. One day you were walking with [Redacted] I went out of my way to say hi to him. Later you asked me if I was mad at you because I seemed excited to say hi to him and looked uninterestedly at you. We probably were in the same bed at the end of that night.

Then move in came and all of your friends, including the ones you say aren't, were back on campus. Of course your favorite coworker of mine came back and told me they were talking about us. How they all assume we broke up because we aren't following each other on instagram anymore. I was pissed, I was so upset. I texted you and told you that i hated your fucking friends. You were at a tournament but you called me on your way home to talk about it. We both just said how frustrating it is. I don't really remember if I spoke my mind, because I just usually don't see how that's fair or relevant anymore. I just feel like a failure. I wasn't told names but it wasn't hard to figure out what three it was. Everyone else knew we broke up besides those three. What bothered us the most is that there had to of been a conversation. We never posted each other for our relationship to suddenly disappear and people wonder why. We didn't pass them and ignore each other for something to seem off. They had to of been hoping for it and that made them search who we were following on instagram. Any way, we hung up and that was that- I thought.

You went to her wedding the next day. That's whatever. Hurt, beyond fucking hurt but everyone else went. The group of like 8 of you so I wasn't as mad. It wasn't just you and in some twisted way that made it okay.

You forgot what I asked for, for my birthday. Once I reminded you, you happily obliged.

Classes started and we did that, the whole school thing we are here for. Wednesday you woke up at 4 in the morning very sick. Doubled over coughing and having a tight chest. I was the doting girlfriend- ex girlfriend. Rubbed your back, made tea, asked if you wanted to go to the ER or wait for the urgent care. Made you call your mom, which you accidently let slip that I was somehow giving you advice at the early hours of the morning. You decided to wait so we talked about our days, which ended up being a mistake.

You told me about how [Redacted] came up to you at your job. Said she missed you and how you haven't talked all summer. Then said she knew we broke up and wanted to know what happened. In the same fucking conversation of her trying to say how she missed you as a friend she just so happened to slide in the fact that she knew about the relationship she never supported ended. You just wanted a conversation. We were cuddled up and it was now quiet in the dark hours of the morning but I threw my hands up in frustration. In return I got "You aren't allowed to be frustrated, I'm dying."

I sat at the urgent care with you, absolute definition of girlfriend shit. Nobody knows I did besides my friends from back home. Just as our relationship was a secret, so is our friendship- and it sucks. And I've written that it sucks a bunch now.

Thursday I went to the football game, somehow the words of me being frustrated floated to you. Just how in the case of your friends about how I feel helpless, like I can't do anything right. When we dated they hated me and our relationship. We were a conversation topic. We aren't dating, they hate me and we are a conversation topic. You said something along the lines of we know what we're doing, a phrase I had told you a couple of days prior and to ignore the noise. It's hard to ignore the noise when it just makes you feel like a failure.

I wish I never dated you, dated you in general or publicly. Last summer was great, we were in love and nobody knew otherwise. This summer was detrimental on my mental health but we were happy when we were together and that's what matters right. Thing's are so fucking simple when your friends aren't involved. I still blame them for part of our break up.

I know how flimsy it is to write I hate being a secret and then seemingly write that I wish we dated in secret. That's not that I'm saying. I'm saying private but not a secret. I just don't think you know the difference. You friends sure as hell don't know the difference between what is there business and what isn't.

Regardless- you don't want a relationship, we aren't dating, I'm not even sure if I want you anymore at this point.

#Petalsoffarose #petals #letter to an ex #storytime #exboyfriend #Healing #Breakup #Feelings #Relationship #writing #gene

[raspberryconverse]

*sigh*

You probably don't want to listen to me ramble about today's mental health struggles, but in case you do...

So I finally came clean with my psychiatric NP about how miserable I've been (hair trigger temper that leads to full on sobbing fits and self harm thoughts) and had 2 weeks of blood pressure readings and she decided to taper me off a medication I've been on for literally 15 years. I've mention some of these things, but not exactly how bad it's been. This medication can raise blood pressure and heart rate (my resting heart rate is around 100, which freaks out just about any healthcare worker who takes my vitals), so it's probably a good idea to just go for it. She also wants to add a medication I took when I was in middle school (so we're talking almost 25 years ago), which I'm not thrilled about, but who knows. Maybe it'll help. Maybe it won't. Maybe it'll make it worse. We'll see, I guess.

She also wants me to try to shift my sleep schedule, but I really don't care to do that, so I don't think I will. Stubborn Coley is coming out when we talk about it next time.

It's just been really bad lately.

When I was out running errands this afternoon, I made a left turn onto a busier street where it's hard to see traffic coming from the left because of the parked cars and I almost got hit. We both swerved enough to miss each other, but god, what if we hadn't? My mind legit jumped to "I kinda wish he would have hit me." And that shit's really fucking scary.

Before I go any further, I have to explain that I really don't have suicidal thoughts because I'm an atheist and believe that when you die, that's it, and thinking about dying frightens me in a phobic way. Self harm, yes. Way too much lately, TBH. But definitely not suicide. So that thought popping into my head is really fucking scary and that's how I know something's really really wrong with me right now.

I also had therapy yesterday, so that wasn't fun. I talked about how I feel like I'm self sabotaging. Like I'm see how far I can push my spouse with my behavior. My therapist says that usually when people do that, they actually want out. IDK if that's really why I do it. If anything, it's that I think I don't deserve what I have, so I try to see how far I can push it so I can get what I actually deserve, which is clearly not someone who puts up with me as much as my spouse does. Nobody should really put up with me, but for some reason, they do.

And don't get me wrong: I reminisce a lot about the past. I can think of one ex in particular who I think about a lot. I know we weren't meant to be and I've seen recent photos of him and he did not age well. I mean, maybe I would have been ok with that if we had ended up together because it obviously doesn't happen all at once, but yeah. I still think about the random person who commented when I started writing in my LJ again last year and how they told me they read my blog way back when (and were a friend of a friend of another ex) and they said they were always "Team Rob" (I'll use his first name because it's a fairly generic name). I have such rose colored glasses about that time in my life. I have such fondness for how I felt then. But he knew his family would not approve of him marrying me and he made the right decision to dump me for grad school. But god, what if?

This is getting rambly. I just took my bedtime meds, and not the tapering dose I was supposed to start because I'm still a little scared. I don't want to feel this way, but I also don't know if I actually don't want to feel this way. It's strangely comfortable, in a

sort of way. IDK how to explain it.

As much as I hated therapy yesterday, I can't wait until my next session on Wednesday.

#i also forgot i used the last of my coffee this morning #after i made 2 trips to petco #because i'm a failure #thus the 2 trips to petco #so tomorrow's going to be even shittier than today #hate myself #medication #therapy #mental breakdown #mental health #tw mental health #tw meds mention #tw depression #tw harm #tw sui ideation #is this what marriage is?

[stormy333]

A First

There’s always a first for everything, a first born, first steps, first word, first best friend, first car, first job, we could go on and on about the first’s. But I only truly want to talk about one first right now. I didn’t mention this specific one because I didn’t want assumptions made and then everything gets all tangled up and you don’t get to hear the story. That’s no fun. So here goes.

The first boyfriend (or girlfriend) they’re special to us all throughout our lives no matter the reason because they were the first. So today I am going to tell you about my first “boyfriend”. I won’t be using his name so I’ll refer to him as “JC” .

A little background is a bit necessary. I grew up in church and for most of that my parents were the ones running the church. A small country church, I’ve also been home schooled since third grade by choice, so the church was kinda my social life even though I’m low key antisocial and always have been. So we never really had many kids that came to the church that were my age and at the time I hadn’t been attending due to some unexplained health problems that we now know are due to my autonomic system being a bit of a drama queen as I like to say. That’s a bit off subject but anyways it all ties in because my best friend who was living with me at the time and still attending the services had been keeping me informed on all the tea. She told me about this family who had been there a few times with a few kids, but what really caught my attention for a moment was she mentioned that the older daughter and son looked to be around our age maybe a bit older or slightly younger. I was like “Oh, okay cool. No big dealleo.” One Wednesday I was feeling a bit better and decided to go to the bible study or whatever we had that night. To be honest this was back in 2016. So anyways again back to the story. I went and I remember sitting in the circle set up by the wood stove, sitting next to my best friend/platonic soulmate and we were being typical teenage girls talking about dumb stuff drawling in our notebooks and discussing our upcoming birthdays, stuff like that when JC and his dad walk in, they sat across from us if I remember correctly and I remember calling an emergency bathroom trip with my girl and asking if that was him and she was duh. We went back to our seats and continued on with the night. I believe it was that Sunday that we were introduced.

Now hang in there, I know it’s boring and awkward right now but trust me this next part will have you dying of laughter.

A few awkward Sunday’s and Wednesday’s later. The Wednesday before my 13th birthday the adults were having a discussion and us kids were outside playing Red Rover. Now this was my first time playing the game, plus I’m socially awkward and then to top it off I was nervous and stressed because of school and other things. And just for the record I feel terrible about this, but JC still asked me out 2 days after my 13th birthday. So back to the story AGAIN sorry guys a bit of a mess my brain is.

RED ROVER is my enemy. We were playing red rover and I believe it was JC and his sisters against me and my girl, we may have had one of his sisters on our team but i don’t really remember but I know for a fact he was on the opposite team because I remember this next bit like it was yesterday.

Red rover, red rover, send JC over? Why my darling? Why did you ask for him? No, I didn’t if that’s what you are thinking, my best friend did. And here’s the destruction that followed.

•                 JC runs over

•                 My 12 year old self panics and pulls my arm back just enough…..

•                 I PUNCHED JC IN THE FACE AND CLOTHES LINED HIM KNOCKING HIM TO THE GROUND CAUSING A NOSE BLEED

•                 Que the heart broken and terrified me starting to cry while laughing

And yet still somehow he thinks it royal to ask me to be his girlfriend 2 days after my birthday whilst we are texting, I was sitting by a lake taking in the ever so glorious nature and I remember talking a bunch of crap trying to get out of it because I was scared but also thrilled. I was charmed and extremely charmed when he wanted to talk to my Dad about it. My parents approval has always been important to me but also I don’t let it the want of it consume me but at the time I had never had a boyfriend, and it had also never really been a thing on my mind either so I went to my mom first as I was with her. Well technically I went to my Soul-sister first then my mom. Then when we got home my mother was on the phone with JC’s mom and instead of easing dad into me being asked out like we had discussed she dropped the bomb. On accident. My dad is a very special man. If you are reading this dad you know it’s true so don’t deny it. He’s the kinda guy that if he isn’t raising hell then there’s something wrong.

The next day was Sunday, April 10th, 2016, we only had one service that day because of a business meeting. The kids had the option to stay in and be bored basically (well usually I stayed because I like being educated though if you aren’t a member you can't vote, and you can’t become a member until you’re 18) or you could go to a small playground sort of area and hang out. I chose to go hang out with JC and my SS, we talked more about our favorite things and such then the meeting was over and we went inside the sanctuary. Instantly my dad starts going for it “You call it pop or soda?” (His favorite to ask guys I like I now know) The questions of silly things continue all the way over to where we were having lunch and then he gets serious for a moment and says something along the lines of if you treat her right we're all good. Then the adults continue talking and JC hands me a bracelet he made me. Blue and red with a smiley. I still have it. I honestly wish I could say this story had a happy ending like we were still best friends or still together or something like that, but that isn’t how it goes. JC and I broke up about three days before the 1 month's dating anniversary. We still kinda talked here and there but we’ve both grown up. I for one am a COMPLETELY different person from the girl I was when I met/dated JC. Though JC impacted my life in so many ways, when I think back to that time in my life I he was a very important part. Each guy I have “dated” has made an impact on me as a person. Some good and some bad, but that is life. And the bracelet JC made me is one of my most treasured possessions. To some, it may just be a dumb piece of garbage but to me, it’s the symbol of something… I don’t know nostalgic? Hopeful? Memorable? Indescribable? Something money can’t buy. And words cannot express it.