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buckyalpine · 7 months

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Request 👉🏼👈🏼 ? Black widow!reader and winter soldier!Bucky! He was her teacher in the red room, where they eventually fell in love and started a secret relationship, until Hydra and Dreykov found out and separated them. Fast forward several years, Bucky’s out of recovery, reunited with Steve, and living a better life when Tony brings in a new team member. And everyone’s excited but Bucky’s on edge and kinda wary until he learns who it is.

It’s his lil widow, the love of his life, his soulmate. the one Hydra and the red room stole from him, the girl he kept dreaming about no matter how many times his handlers tried to wipe his memories. Just complete fluffy, smutty, love sick shit with him being a massive simp for his deadly girl. maybe building a family, getting married, drabbles of him drooling over her skills or her in the widow suit, like oh yea, I taught her that. I can imagine him being so overly protective, constantly holding her close to his chest because she was stolen away from him once, he won’t survive if that happens again.

YESSSSS God this is so cute and smutty and angsty and FLUFFY it makes my chest itch in the best way. Pls ignore what google translate may have botched. Bucky is the cutest, horny, most deadly simp here, so proud of his girl, absolutely yes.

"ne proyavlyay miloserdiya, soldat" [Show no mercy, soldier], Dreykov hissed, letting the soldier enter the red room with a single widow standing before him, not an ounce of fear in her eyes. The soldier grunted, hitting the button that locked the door that kept her from escaping before lunging forward, testing her agility after personally training her himself.

She leapt over him with ease, bracing her hands on his wide shoulders and landing swiftly behind him and swiping her leg under him to knock him to the floor, straddling him immediately after. He grasped her hands in his, rolling over till she was pinned under his large mass with her wrists held together above her head in his metal hand.

"You've learned well kotenok" His voice was husky behind the mask, blue eyes sparkling while she huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Nespravedlivo, kogda ty takoy bol'shoy, soldat" [Not fair when you're so large, soldier]. She gasped feeling him harden on top of her, his rough uniform doing nothing to hide what he was feeling for her, slotted between her thighs.

"Nespravedlivo, kogda ty takoy krasivyy, kotonok" [Not fair when you're so pretty, kitten]. He climbed off her, allowing her to get into position before attacking again, relentlessly throwing punches and blocking them till she nearly collapsed. They retreated to stand at attention at the sound of the doors hissing open, indicating training was over. The soldier grunted a nod as Dreykov walked in, assessing the widow, a sinister smile plastered on his face seeing both of his assets worn but still at their strongest.

He sent them off to their cells, confident that the fear he'd instilled in his captives would be enough to ensure they stayed in line, not realizing his punishments would only go so far.

It wasn't enough to stop the charming young man from Brooklyn who still lived in his most feared asset.

"Did I hurt you baby" The soldier whispered, kissing her bruised knuckles softly after sneaking into her cell, pulling her into his arms.

"You could never" She smiled, melting into his embrace. She never intended on falling in love with the soldier but here she was, feeling his gentle hands wander, leaning up to kiss his soft, pink lips. They were playing a dangerous game but it was to stop now.

He loved her.

She loved him.

"Wipe him" The hydra agent ordered while the soldier gripped onto the chair, gritting his teeth while sharp burning spread through his body, frying his brain. The widow dug her nails into her palms, resolve slowly crumbling seeing the love of her life tortured, unable to hold back anymore.

"Stop!" She finally broke, unable to watch any longer, gasping at the sinister smile Dreykov gave her, ordering his men to grab her before increasing the voltage.

"My, my, does it hurt you when we hurt him" Dreykov sneered, turning up the dial, Bucky's screams tearing her apart on the inside.

"Don't-AH-JAMES" A hydra soldier gripped her hair, yanking her back before she could go to him, shackles binding her hands together, dragging her away.

"kotenok" [kitten] The soldier sadly whispered, unheard by her, her kicking and screaming form blurry from his unshed tears. He screamed in pain as another shock ripped through his veins before the world went black.

He never saw her again.

Bucky gasped, sucking in a deep breath of air, his chest heaving from the dream he'd just had, sweat covering his chest, dripping from his forehead.

It was the same thing almost every night.

His mind replaying the same thing over and over again; training with her in the red room, the way she felt under him, the way he'd cuddle and make love to her afterwards without a soul knowing. He didn't plan on falling for the woman he had to train to be a killer but he didn't stand a chance the day she'd knocked him down with a knife pressed to his neck seconds later. He could have married her then and there.

He slumped back against his pillow, running a hand over his face, groaning in frustration.

In the several years, he'd slowly managed to get his life back together. He was apart of the team and living at the compound with Steve and the others. He was no longer controlled by trigger words, he had been forgiven by the government, he was starting to recover from all the trauma he'd endured. His nightmares were less frequent, slowly learning to forgive himself for the things he'd been forced to do under Hydras control.

The only thing he never got over was her.

She still lived in his dreams. Still owned his heart. That was his girl and she was torn away by the very people that had taken everything else from him too. No amount of wiping or torture took her away. His handler tried his hardest, shocking him till his nose bled and his veins nearly burnt to bits but her name would fall from his lips as he lay nearly unconscious.

His sweet widow.

Bucky glanced at the faint light starting to stream through the curtains, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed to get up instead of attempting to sleep for 5 more minutes. He threw on a hoodie and some joggers, making his way to the gym to punch his feelings away as usual. He didn't stop till his knuckles split, ignoring the sting, instead thinking about how he'd kiss her soft hands after he'd train her, bandaging them up when no one was looking.

The hot water from the shower did little to ease the tension in his muscles as he made his way to the kitchen next, plopping onto a stool with a cup of coffee. He was just about to try and relax with his coffee until Steve popped his head in with a grin.

"There you are! Tony was looking for you, we're all heading up now!" Bucky frowned in confusion while Steve grabbed his own mug, filling his cup.

"Why are we having a meeting" Bucky questioned, not willing to get up from his seat, his mind still preoccupied.

"He told you he scouted someone to join the team"

"I remember Tony going on about some new member" Bucky mumbled, not in the mood to meet new people, his anxiety only growing further. "That's today?"

Steve nodded, finishing up the last of his coffee while the brunette stayed glued to the stool.

"Buck, you coming?" Steve turned back to see a frowning Bucky, reluctantly trudging behind the captain while the others excitedly also made their way upstairs to the conference area.

"I heard Tony saying the new agent is scary as shit. Apparently he got his ass handed to him when he tried to test her and he was wearing his suit" Sam snorted while Nat smiled with excitement.

"Finally someone worth sparring with" The redhead nudged him while he shook his head.

"I'm serious! She's deadly deadly. I looked over her file, she's killed more people than you and Clint combined and half of those were hand to hand combat"

"What was the other half"

"Sniper. Like Barnes" Sam nodded to Bucky who was still disconnected from the others, his knee bouncing impatiently.

"We're lucky she's on our side" Steve mused, taking a glance of the file that sat on the table. There was no name or picture to go with it but it had a skillset record nearly put his to shame. "Jesus"

"You good?" Sam whispered to Bucky, noticing he was more closed off than usual, getting a tightlipped grimace like smile in return. Steve sat near the front, straightening himself up while the rest quietened down, hearing the sound of Tony speaking to someone as they approached the room. The billionaire opened the door, letting in the new team member first before entering himself with a large smile on his face.

"Everyone, this is-

"Y/n?" Bucky gasped, shoot up from his seat before Tony could finish, the other sharing confused glances between each other, watching the new team member and Bucky freeze.

"Wait, Barnes, you know-

"Malyshka, eto pravda ty?" [Babygirl, is it really you?] Bucky gasped, his heart hammering against his chest, tears already threatening to spill out. "kotenok, skazhi mne, pozhaluysta, chto eto ty" [kitten, please tell me its you]

"Hold up, he can still speak Russian?" Sam hissed to Steve who hadn't moved, mouth gaping, eyes wide.

"James!" You darted across the room to meet Bucky half way, his strong arms catching and lifting you up with ease as your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. "moy soldat. YA zdes', moy malysh" [my soldier. I'm here my babyboy]

"It's really you" He whispered against your hair, breathing in your soft scent, eyes squeezed shut with tears streaming down his face, "My baby" He cradled you tightly, refusing to set you down while you buried your face into the crook of his neck, drowning out the rest of the world. After you were torn apart from him, you had been locked up in an isolated cell, only let out for select missions Dreykov send you on. You wanted to find your soldier, your James, but you never did with Hydra keeping him under their control.

Now you finally had him again.

"Ahem, as I was saying- This is y/n" Tony addressed the rest of the team, just as surprised as the rest of them with all eyes on Bucky especially. "She'll be joining us once Barnes puts her down"

"Never" Bucky finally pulled away, still holding onto you, his nose nudging against yours, "M'never putting her down, never, you hear me babygirl?" He pressed his lips onto yours, shamelessly kissing you hard, ignoring the whistles that filled the room, only pulling away for air. You let out a shy giggle as he set you back on your feet, his hand wrapped around your waist.

"I'd continue to introduce her but I think tinman knows her better" Tony snorted, throwing his hands up before taking a seat, all eyes now watching two of you while Bucky blushed, unable to wipe the smile of his face, cupping your face to press another kiss to your lips.

"This is y/n" Bucky finally let you go, taking you to the front of the conference room, now proudly showing you off to the other, "She was a widow with Hyrda, handpicked by Dreykov" Bucky sucked in a breath before continuing, giving your hand a squeeze "I trained her in the red room myself when I was still the winter soldier. That's when I fell in love with her" The last part was a whisper, not missed by the team with how lovesick Bucky looked.

"I'm sorry, you trained her? Jesus, no wonder she's deadly" Sam shook his head, now understanding why your file was so impressive. You were already gifted when you were picked, coupled with the fact that you were trained and conditioned by the soldier himself.

"She's fuckin' deadly, alright" Bucky's voice was nearly breathless, his baby blues intently gazing into your eyes. "You should see her with a knife"

That's when I fell in love with you.

"So what happened with you two" Nat prodded, looking at you two with heart eyes which was a rare sight but her heart melted at how soft Bucky was, struggling to keep his hands to himself. He constantly nuzzled into your neck, his large form practically swallowing you whole as he clung onto you like a child.

"They found out we were together so they took me from him" You gave her a sad smile, feeling Bucky hug you tighter; you could have sworn you heard him whimper. "I tried to find him for years but I couldn't"

"Hydra tried to wipe my memories but it never worked. Couldn't forget her" Bucky kissed the top of your head, not realizing his bestfriend was trying to subtly wipe his eyes.

"I was going to have everyone introduce themselves but I think these two have some catching up to do so let's move this meeting over" Tony clapped his hands while everyone else nodded in agreement, leaving you and Bucky alone for some privacy.

"I missed you so much, you have no idea, I-I tried to find you but I just- I could barely function, I'm sorry doll-" Your lips cut off Bucky's rambling, cupping his scruffy face firmly in your hands.

"You have nothing to be sorry about baby, it's not your fault"

"I-I know you just got here and-sweets I don't want to rush anything but-" Bucky's hand gripped your waist while he tried to compose himself, he didn't want to pressure you into anything. "I need you closer baby"

"Take me, soldat" You whispered, not giving him any room to second guess as he hauled you up in his arms, taking you straight to his room. Clothes were off in an instant between frantic and desperate kisses. Bucky didn't rush a thing as soon as he had you naked in his bed, pulling the sheets over you both, rolling over to cuddle instead.

"This is all I wanted" He whispered against your shoulder, kissing your skin, "To have my girl with me again"

"I love you Jamie" You kissed his bare chest, hitching your leg over his waist, his hard length pressing against your soaked cunt. He could feel his tip weeping feeling your soft body pressed against his, still looking just as beautiful, if not more now, from when he'd first met you.

"Prettiest widow" He growled, his wandering hands becoming less wholesome as they moved to your hips, pulling you to press against his erection harder. You moaned feeling him starting to hump your pussy while innocently kisses down your neck, smirking at how he was both sweet and sinful at the same time, just as before. "kotenok, ty mne nuzhen" [Kitten, I need you]

You remembered all the times he'd snuck into your cell for a few cuddles, which always ended up with his hand slammed over your mouth while he railed you with his cock.

"You feel how hard I am for you baby? Mmph, this is all for you, doll" He bit his lip, eyes locked with yours, rolling on top of you, slotting his wide body between your legs, still rutting his hips. "Can I make love to you baby, please" He sounded desperate, dropping his forehead to press against yours, hands coming to pin you against the bed.

"M'yours Jamie" You nodded, spreading your legs wider, not bothering with having prep you, needing him inside you more than anything else. You gasped feeling his thick cockhead rub through your folds before he breeched your hole, stretching you.

"Soldat!" You moaned, your back arching off the bed, the name rolling of your tongue as it had so many times before, your nails digging into his shoulders as he buried himself to the hilt.

"Take your soldat's cock, kotenok" Bucky growled, only giving you a second to adjust before he started to move with slow, deep strokes. "Lemme make love to my babygirl, ya tak sil'no tebya lyublyu" [I love you so much]

After Bucky had been rescued, he had no reason to speak Russian, letting the others think it'd been wiped away just like the words that controlled him. Around you, it rolled off his tongue with ease, your pussy dripping each time he whispered in your ear. Your eyes rolled back feeling him hit that spongy spot deep in your pussy, crying out with the powerful, deliberate snaps of his hips.

"M'I making you feel good baby?" He asked, kissing you sweetly, alternating between the sweetheart and heartbreaker he was, looking at you with soft puppy eyes while his cock grew harder watching your face twist with pleasure. His jaw was slack, thrusting with purpose, moving his hips to roll and let you feel every inch of him filling you up, "You look gorgeous with my cock in you angel, wish you could see how pretty you are, so beautiful like this"

"Oh god James! P-please-m'so close-dont-don-t stop" Your moans grew more salacious, unable to say much else, eyes shutting out of pleasure feeling his hand coming down to rub your swollen clit.

"I know baby, I know, you need me to rub this pretty button, Remember the first time I touched you there pretty girl? How badly you wanted to scream, how much you squirted all over me? Remember when we first made love? First time I tasted you? Remember how shy you were when I spread your legs open and nursed off that little button. How you turned into a slutty kitten, riding and humping my face after? Know your needy little clit loves it, m'gonna rub you till you're screaming"

"Buckyyy" You whined, your face feeling hot at the memory, remembering his growls from under you, turning around to find him jerking his cock faster while he licked and sucked your pussy, cum already painting his abs from cumming once, working to a second orgasm. He'd sealed his lips around your clit, stuffing his mask in your mouth to keep you from alerting the guards.

"Baby, c'mon open your eyes, look at me" Bucky nipped your jaw, his cold hand coming to grasp your cheeks, blue eyes staring into your soul as you opened your eyes, "Don't you dare close them baby, keep em' open when I'm fuckin' you, shit, m'gonna cum for you doll"

"B-Bucky!" You cried, struggling to hold off any longer, your juices soaked him as you started to clench and squeeze his cock, tears nearly streaming down your face.

"Scream all you want baby, don't have to hide those pretty moans ever again" He fucked you through your orgasm, his own balls getting tighter with each thrust, precum mixing with your arousal, dripping onto the sheets, "Thats-that-s it baby, m'gonna cum so hard for you, fill you up, you're mine doll, you're fuckin' MINE"

Bucky's hand flew to the headboard, pounding you into the mattress, moaning loudly, letting the wood splinter under his grip as he came, pumping you full of his seed.

"FUCK y/n" He gasped, collapsing on you, panting, burying his face into your breasts as he always did, turning into a needy baby as if he didn't rail your soul. You giggled, tracing your hand down his spine making his shiver, whining when you clenched around his sensitive, soft cock.

"My soldat" You whispered, carding your fingers through his hair, letting him latch onto your nipple, needily sucking for comfort. No matter how big, bad and scary he was, he always melted into a puddle for you, closing his eyes at the feeling of your sweet peaked nipple against his tongue.

"Never letting you go again" He whispered before falling asleep on your chest, arms wrapped tightly around you. "ty moya rodstvennaya dusha, malyshka" [you're my soul mate, babygirl]

"YA by proshel cherez vse eto snova tol'ko radi tebya, malysh" [I'd go through it all again just for you baby boy] you whispered, closing your eyes in the safety of his hold, meaning each of your words. You'd go through everything a thousand times over if it meant you'd have your Bucky back in your arms. Bucky sniffled, curling up with you, spending the rest of the day alternating between speaking sweet words and making you moan and cry over his cock until you couldn't move any longer. For the first time, he slept peacefully, not stirring once.

Ever since you'd come back, Bucky had turned into the biggest simp, alternating between acting like a menace and a complete lovesick puppy with no in between. It was worse when you were on the field, almost leading to Tony refusing to let you both go on missions at the same time.

"Oh god" Bucky groaned, seeing you step out in your sleek suit, the dark material clinging to your body, weapons strapped along your hips. You threw him a wink before running off to kick ass, his focus solely on you.

"Jesus Christ" He nearly moaned seeing you land a kick to an attacker before throwing you knife across the room, the blade landing perfectly between your targets eyebrows. "Baby, you're sexy"

"For fucks Sake Barnes, did you forget we can all hear you" Tony's exasperated voice crackled through, this not being the first time the soldier was distracted watching you fight. Sam and Steve snickered through the coms while Bucky shameless shrugged, still biting his lip, watching you move with ease.

"Have you seen my girl, Stark" Bucky sassed back, walking over bodies to grab you by your ass, squeezing it and smashing his lips against yours.

"Are you two fucking kissing?!" Tony sighed, hearing the sound of soft moans and smacking, "I'm putting you on a fucking leash, I'm getting you fixed Barnes"

"My naughty soldat" You giggled, pulling away, nipping your boyfriends pouty lip while he shook his head.

"Gonna be the death of me, pretty girl"

"You're both gonna be the death of all of us" Tony deadpanned, unable to understand how there was a man out there that was more horny and flirty than him. "I'm having Barnes neutered, for fucks sake I can see you drooling from over here"

Bucky was even worse watching you display your skills, his workout long forgotten while you sparred with Steve.

"Where the fuck did you learn that" Steve groaned while you giggled, holding your hand out to help him up while Bucky watched from the side with a cocky smirk.

"I taught her that" He threw you a wink, not so subtly adjusting his sweats.

"Of course you did" Steve huffed, surprised to find bruises on his body from where you'd hit him. "Jesus punk" He blushed heavily seeing his bestfriends raging hard on, scrambling away from the gym, knowing exactly what would come next.

The loud moans he heard moments later made him shake his head, happy he got out of there unlike the last time he saw the warning signs of a feral Bucky.

Aside from being more in love with you than ever, Bucky was also equally protective over you. He'd hug you with such care, always holding your head to his chest, his large arms covering you from the rest of the world, constantly fearing that even if he had you now, someone would come and take you away.

When he finally asked you to marry him, he paused several times, blinking through tears while down on one knee, your hand wiping his cheek, saying yes before he could even finish. The compound was transformed with flowers, candles with a small intimate wedding in the garden.

Steve and Sam stood by Bucky's side while Nat walked with you, your sweet soon to be husband biting back tears seeing his dream girl in her dress, the life he'd always imagine finally becoming a reality. When Tony pronounced you husband and wife, Bucky didn't stop kissing you till he nearly passed out, not a single dry eye surrounding you as he whisked you up in his arms.

Bucky felt a strong wave of emotion watching you flit around the kitchen, making his way over and wrapping his arms from behind, tucking his face into your neck. You blinked, feeling tears wet your skin, pulling away to find your husband sniffling.

"Baby, what's gotten into you" You cooed with concern, wiping away the tears that collected along his lashes, kissing his reddened nose. "Is everything okay?"

"Just-m'scared to lose you again" Bucky whispered, his hand coming to protectively wrap around your growing belly; you weren't showing much yet but he could still feel the little baby bump. "I can't loose you again angel, I can't go through that again"

"It won't happen Jamie" You wrapped your arms around his shoulders while he picked you up, setting you onto the counter before hiding against your neck again, hugging you tightly. "What's wrong baby, what's gotten you so scared"

"Can't believe I got you back. I got to marry my dream girl. We're starting a family, you're giving me a baby, I-it feels unreal. M'scared I'm gonna wake up and you'll-" He bit his lip, shuddering at the very thought, "You'll be gone"

"Baby boy look at me" You held his face again, making him look at you, "Would you ever let anyone take me from you again?"

Bucky looked horrifying, francially shaking his head, he'd burn the world to ashes before he let that happen.

"Never. Never angel, no one is taking you or our baby from me" He stated firmly while you hummed.

"See? I'll be just fine. I have my soldat" You whispered, melting against his chest. "No one can hurt me when I have my soldat"

Bucky finally relaxed, carrying you off to bed, his metal arm protecting your belly as he pulled the covers over you both. No one would ever take his little widow away again.

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eddiemunsons-missingnipple · 6 months

Text

Time of the month

Eddie Munson x reader

Summary: You started your period, and Eddie tries to help.

Warnings: fluff, menstruation, mention of sex.

A/n: Not proofread. no minors allowed.

The front door slamming startles you in your spot, huddled in various blankets and pillows. Eddie scans the dark living room in search of you until his eyes land on your figure. There you were hidden beneath all sorts of fluffy blankets with the ever curtain closed.

He laughs to himself, "Hey sweetheart, I'm home."

You look over to him, faking a smile. "Hi."

Eddie frowns." What's wrong? "

"Got my period." You murmured.

He pouts out his bottom lip, moving closer, sitting next to you. "Anything I can do?"

You shake your head no, leaning over to lay your head on his chest. Immediately, Eddie wrapped his arms around you.

"I heard sex can be the cure." He half joked.

You groaned, hiding your face. "Eddie!"

He lets out a belly laugh and moves to stand bending down to give you a quick kiss. He kicked off his boots and placed them by the door.

"M'just playin." He smirked.

"No, you weren't." You pouted.

His smirks grew wider as he watched you."Yeah, you're right, doesn't hurt to try."

If you weren't in the state you are right now, he'd call you cute, but he knows better.

"You sure? I can really pound those cramps outta ya." He joked again, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

All you could was groan at his attempt to make you laugh.

Eddie is in a playful mood, and you were absolutely not. Your cramps had you hunching over in pain. You went through three pairs of panties after bleeding through them by accident. The last thing on your mind is sex. You know he's really just joking deep down, but the thought makes you wince a little. You've been in the same position all day. Huddled under numerous blankets you could find with a heating pad on standby.

He puts his hands on his hips, looking around his trailer. You could tell he's trying to come up with a solution to your problem. Unfortunately, the only solution is dealing with it for four days until it's gone.

Eddies' coveralls were covered in grease from the dirty cars he'd been fixing all day. You could see some of the grease smudged on his neck and face. His five o'clock shadow thickening up around his jaw. If it wasn't for your period, you'd definitely would take him up on his offer. You always thought he looked good on a daily basis. But there was something about how he looked after coming home from a long day at work that made you want to jump on him.

"Wanna take a shower with me?" Eddie spoke softly.

Your face softened, and the pout that was close to being permanent on your face disappeared. "Yea."

"After we clean up, I'm gonna order out and rub your back. You like that?" Eddie walked over to help you stand. Taking your hands into his.

"Mmhmm--id like that a lot, but you don't have to." You tried to argue feeling slightly guilty.

A back rub sounded like heaven, but he's been at work all day. The last thing he should be doing is waiting on your hand and foot. You were perfectly fine resuming what you've been doing all day anyway.

"Ah, ah, don't start. Let me help make you feel better." His tone is gentle, but his face was serious. You knew there was no arguing your way out of this.

"Okay, can we rent a movie too?" You sighed, wrapping your arms around him in a hug.

"Of course, whatever you want." Eddie squeezed you tighter to him.

He leads you to the shower and helps you undress. You asked him about his day loving how worked up he got at his coworkers sometimes. Eddie told about how some guy came in for an oil change that ended up lasting hours since the poor man had never had one before. You washed his hair, running your nails through his scalp. He hummed every time you did that for him. You swore if he was a cat, he'd be purring right now.

"All done?" Eddie asked, moving around to block the water from hitting your face.

"All done." You smiled, playfully tugging on his chin, causing him to giggle.

"Let's get you warmed, and then I'll make you feel better for a little while." He whispered.

Eddie did as he promised. He fed you. Warmed you up in his arms as you cuddled in his lap. He rented you The Princess Bride to watch. When the movie was over, Eddie guided you to the bedroom where he rubbed your back until you finally fell asleep.

"I love you." He bent over to kiss your cheek.

"Love you too." You muffled in your pillow. You were relaxed and your cramps subsiding. Sleep overtaking your exhausted body.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #joseph quinn #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #my writing #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson x you #eddie x reader #eddie munson x y/n

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txttletale · 5 months

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Your discussions on AI art have been really interesting and changed my mind on it quite a bit, so thank you for that! I don’t think I’m interested in using it, but I feel much less threatened by it in the same way. That being said, I was wondering, how you felt about AI generated creative writing: not, like AI writing in the context of garbage listicles or academic essays, but like, people who generate short stories and then submit them to contests. Do you think it’s the same sort of situation as AI art? Do you think there’s a difference in ChatGPT vs mid journey? Legitimate curiosity here! I don’t quite have an opinion on this in the same way, and I’ve seen v little from folks about creative writing in particular vs generated academic essays/articles

i think that ai generated writing is also indisputably writing but it is mostly really really fucking awful writing for the same reason that most ai art is not good art -- that the large training sets and low 'temperature' of commercially available/mass market models mean that anything produced will be the most generic version of itself. i also think that narrative writing is very very poorly suited to LLM generation because it generally requires very basic internal logic which LLMs are famously bad at (i imagine you'd have similar problems trying to create something visual like a comic that requires consistent character or location design rather than the singular images that AI art is mostly used for). i think it's going to be a very long time before we see anything good long-form from an LLM, especially because it's just not a priority for the people making them.

ultimately though i think you could absolutely do some really cool stuff with AI generated text if you had a tighter training set and let it get a bit wild with it. i've really enjoyed a lot of AI writing for being funny, especially when it was being done with tools like botnik that involve more human curation but still have the ability to completely blindside you with choices -- i unironically think the botnik collegehumour sketch is funnier than anything human-written on the channel. & i think that means it could reliably be used, with similar levels of curation, to make some stuff that feels alien, or unsettling, or etheral, or horrifying, because those are somewhat adjacent to the surreal humour i think it excels at. i could absolutely see it being used in workflows -- one of my friends told me recently, essentially, "if i'm stuck with writer's block, i ask chatgpt what should happen next, it gives me a horrible idea, and i immediately think 'that's shit, and i can do much better' and start writing again" -- which is both very funny but i think presents a great use case as a 'rubber duck'.

but yea i think that if there's anything good to be found in AI-written fiction or poetry it's not going to come from chatGPT specifically, it's going to come from some locally hosted GPT model trained on a curated set of influences -- and will have to either be kind of incoherent or heavily curated into coherence.

that said the submission of AI-written stories to short story mags & such fucking blows -- not because it's "not writing" but because it's just bad writing that's very very easy to produce (as in, 'just tell chatGPT 'write a short story'-easy) -- which ofc isn't bad in and of itself but means that the already existing phenomenon of people cynically submitting awful garbage to literary mags that doesn't even meet the submission guidelines has been magnified immensely and editors are finding it hard to keep up. i think part of believing that generative writing and art are legitimate mediums is also believing they are and should be treated as though they are separate mediums -- i don't think that there's no skill in these disciplines (like, if someone managed to make writing with chatGPT that wasnt unreadably bad, i would be very fucking impressed!) but they're deeply different skills to the traditional artforms and so imo should be in general judged, presented, published etc. separately.

#ask #ai art

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forfucksakesniall · 10 months

Text

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Driver!Reader

Trigger Warning/Content Advisory: Jealous and Kinda Mean Lewis

It's common to have celebrities visit the garage in F1, and you find it an advantage to meet some of them. Brad Pitt, The Kardashians, Megan Thee Stallion, Paris Hilton and many more. The one encounter that lives up until now was Sebastian Stan. You are his biggest fan. When you saw "Bucky" in the garage, he was the most gorgeous being you've ever seen—wait, Lewis.

You looked around the garage to find him but to no avail. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to pounce on Sebastian Stan. He was being toured in Lewis's garage, and somehow, I got the news of our visitor next door.

As you stepped into the garage, you immediately looked for "Bucky," and there he was, sculpted by the gods themselves. You were in total awe of him—his beautiful blue eyes, perfect jaw, his fit was eye candy, and his hair in a bun. This man is just—UGH.

Your phone buzzed, and you checked to see that it was from Lewis.

TODAY

Lewis

Do you mind closing your mouth?

Embarrassed, you closed it. But how did he know you were here? You looked around the garage one last time when you caught a glimpse of the monitor. The cameraman had captured your whole reaction while you were here.

You glared at the cameraman, then ignored him afterward. You couldn't let this opportunity slip away from meeting Sebastian Stan. When the tour was almost over, it was your time to shine.

He was about to head out when a journalist spotted you both and asked if she could do an interview with you and Sebastian. You enthusiastically agreed to the idea, and as you approached him, he also agreed to the interview. Finally, luck was on my side.

Since it was somewhat dark in the garage, you were asked to step outside the grid for better lighting. As the journalist set things up, you turned to Sebastian, and to your surprise, he was already looking at you.

"I'm a big fan, by the way," you said.

"Aw, that's so sweet. Thank you so much," he replied, and then he hugged you. The hug felt like it was taking longer than expected, and just as you were lost in the moment, you heard someone clear their throat.

It was the journalist, reminding you both to continue with the interview.

Reluctantly, you let go of the hug and settled for a side hug with Sebastian, which he didn't seem to mind, and he placed his hand on the side of your arm.

Throughout the interview, you found yourself mostly agreeing with whatever the journalist was saying. Afterward, you took photos together, which seemed to take forever to finish. You waved goodbye to Sebastian and blew him a kiss as he left.

TODAY

Lewis

Do you mind closing your mouth? Seriously, doing an interview with him? Did PR agree to this? What's with all the hugging? Did it really have to be that many photos?

Oh no, you're getting grumpy Lewis today.

You were on your way to your side garage and slowing to the back of the Driver’s room. When you get in you see Lewis standing there looking at you.

“Hey…” you said awkwardly

“....” he stays quiet

“You had Sebastian Stan in your garage… I met him... But you know that already…” you mentioned.

“Yea, you were so busy… Seems like you already forgot about me..” Lewis replied, heading towards the door to leave.

Quickly, you blocked his way and locked the door behind you.

“Why are you acting like this?” you said in frustration

“Wouldn't you wanna know” he sassed.

“Lewis… Are you... Are you jealous?” you were trying not to smile but it was obvious.

“Why would I- I don’t..” he huffs in annoyance, struggling to find his words.

You grinned mischievously, Oh Lewis you thought to yourself

You stepped closer to him and wrapped your arms around his neck. Your faces were inches apart from each other. You were looking at his eyes and slowly down to his lips.

He was avoiding your gaze, and you sighed at his persistence to ignore your questioning.

“So.. No Kiss?... Okay then..” you tell him and place your face on the crook of his neck and inhale deeply. Gosh, you missed him. But you wouldn’t admit that because that would backfire for sure.

At first, he was stubborn, not hugging you back, but then you could feel his arms snake around your waist. You heard him mumble something.

"What?" you asked him.

“I said you smell like a man” he retorts back.

Oh, it must be Sebastian's perfume. You have to get back at him for this.

“How was Shakira any different…” you sassed back to him.

“I told you that was for PR… and you were with me the whole time…”

“Whatever…”

You get to see jealous Lewis, to be fair it wasn't too bad. He still went to see me in the driver’s room like he always does. He’ll give me a kiss, a hug, and whisper sweet nothings to me. But today took a violent turn.

“I’m sorry…” you finally admit that maybe you overdid it. You got excited and fawned all over Sebastian.

“No, I’m sorry for being immature about it… I just thought maybe... You like him better than me... Or whatever. But I wasn't jealous, okay?” he says to you like a secret.

“Sure… So, you aren't mad anymore?”

“For a kiss, I won’t” he teases you.

I pull away to see his face and finally his beautiful brown eyes. He leans his forehead to mine.

What a tease.

You lean closer and your lips touch. A soft and affectionate kiss, filled with sweetness and warmth.

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yorshie · 7 months

Text

Burnt Out

Bayverse Leo x Fem reader - part 2

Part 1 Part 3

summary: SFW, After confessing your feelings for the Leader in Blue, he makes a decision that challenges your relationship with all four turtles. (warnings for relationship based arguments, yelling, and an altercation with some drunken men) set in 2023 so turtles are 24-25

I don't like one sided fights, so be prepared for reader not being passive. Also I have not proofed read so wording might get moved just a bit.

tag list: @jackalope-in-a-storm @tmnt-tychou @nessarolla-in-constant-flux

Mikey whistled awkwardly into your ear the whole way to the lair. At one point, you turned your head, about to ask what was wrong, when you caught sight of Leo’s face over Mikey’s shoulder.

His eyes were trained on your hands curled around the straps on the smallest turtle’s backpack.

You glared at him. He glared back.

By the time you were set back on your feet in the lair, your slight headache had fledged fully into a dull pounding that nicked the front of your skull. The ache was bad enough that you immediately turned to find Donnie, decidedly ignoring the others as they filtered into the cavernous space around you.

“Don? Can I get some Tylenol or something?”

He gave you his attention, hands cool as he tilted your head back and looked at your eyes. He hummed, and nodded. “Yea, some Tylenol would probably help. Let’s go get your scrapes cleaned too, while we’re at it.”

You followed him to his corner of the Lair, and almost immediately a hissed argument started in the main room. You raised a brow at the tallest turtle, surprised, but he only grimaced, closed the door to block the sound before dropping into a low stool and nudging you towards his chair.

“Just ignore it, it’s been going on for a couple days now.” That was more worrying than the actual argument, even though you couldn’t tell whose voices were overlapping each other. The turtles never let anything fester, there was no way for anything to fester, with how much they were in each others’ pockets.

“Why are they fighting?” You asked, watching as Donnie lined up the hydrogen peroxide and the cotton balls before leaning to the far side for a pack of waterproof bandaids.

“Hm… well….” He returned to sitting straight, handing you a little bottle that clattered as he passed it over. “I don’t- listen to most of it. I just tune it out as soon as I figure out it’s happening.” He looked down at your hands, avoiding eye contact, and you realized he was lying.

You took the Tylenol dry, swallowing and wincing before handing the bottle back. You let him doctor your hands, rub his thumb across the mark on your cheek, before you caught his grip in your own and asked once more. “Donnie, why were both Raph and Leo in the Ha’shi?”

He winced, but answered when you squeezed his fingers. “They got caught fighting. Most of the time they’ve kept it out on patrols, but this time Dad heard.”

“Great.” You ran your hands through your hair. “And you’ve got no clue what it’s about?” You had a sneaking suspicion, but you wanted to be wrong.

“Hm… yea.” He looked away again, gave you a sheepish smile when you let out a low noise of disbelief. “Listen, you should- you should talk to Leo.”

“I did talk to him.” You argued, the ground swooping below your feet at the gentle command in Donnie’s tone. “I talked, and he talked, and now… there’s nothing to talk about.”

Donnie stuck the tip of his tongue out, the move reading anxious as he pushed the issue. “Yea. Maybe try again?”

You had wanted to avoid this. You had thought, perhaps a bit foolishly, that they would all feel too awkward over the whole thing to say anything, especially if you stayed away long enough to be able to act as if it hadn’t happened. Or that maybe the blue banded turtle would have ordered them not to stick their snouts into the whole clusterfuck.

No such luck, apparently.

You hung your head, sighing roughly in annoyance. “Dee, I can’t. He was very, very clear on all the reasons why… why my interest was a bad idea. It’s not like I went and did a great job hiding it.” You said the last part roughly, amused and self-deprecating all in one, staring at the undone zippered pocket on Donnie’s leg to avoid his too golden eyes.

“No, no you didn’t.” Donnie agreed, soft and full of remorse as he stood. He turned to clean up so you could scrub your eyes in peace. When he turned back around, he faltered, swayed side to side in indecision before opening his arms up for a hug.

You stood to make it less awkward, met him in the middle and wrapped your arms around him as far as you could. “I’m sorry Donnie. I went and ruined things, didn’t I?”

“No, no you didn’t.” He parroted again, tightening his arms around you. “Just… don’t go avoiding us, kay?”

You hummed in agreement, scrubbing your face against him in affection. “Never gonna do that, Dee.”

“Good.” He released you, quickly pushing his glasses up to rub at his eyes. “In that case, I really should probably start cleaning up the garage.” He glanced at you. “Leo and Raph are probably finishing up their Ha’shi time, but Mikey’s in the living room if you want to go hang out with him? The garage is a little too dangerous right now.”

“I heard it looks like a war zone in there?” You asked cheekily, taking his cues to return to normal, sticking your hands in your pockets and following him out of the Lab.

“My expertise cataloging may have gotten a little away from me.” He admitted, amused, and ruffled your hair in parting when you both reached the mouth of the tunnel that led to the garage.

“Wish me luck.” You quipped after his retreating shell, not really expecting an answer, but he held up a hand with crossed fingers before he disappeared around the bend.

Once you were alone, your shoulders caved, swinging down and forwards. There was a hitch in your left that no doubt would turn into something nasty the longer you went without icing it.

All you’d have to do is ask Mikey, and he’d fix you up with an ice pack. The thought had you sighing, feet turning automatically for the main room and the tv area, the most likely space to find the smallest turtle brother.

You rubbed your shoulder absentmindedly as you went, cupping the roll of muscle and rubbing back and forth with your fingers. The sound of your blouse shifting across your skin brought you up short, and with a whine you realized you’d forgotten about your coat.

“Great. Just…” You turned again, mind not really caught up on where you were going, annoyance bubbling up, when you crossed the closed doors of the dojo and voices inside caught your attention.

“-look like you ate a whole bag of atomic lemons.”

You stopped, head swinging around at the sound of Raph’s low rumble, and the thought that he’d happily help you find your coat had you reaching for the divider’s edge before the next voice had you pulling back sharply.

“I don’t recall ever asking for your opinion.”

Leo, and where Raph sounded cajoling, the blue banded turtle sounded pissed. In fact, you’d never heard him in that low of an octave, that shade of done with whoever was trying to speak with him.

Raph started in again, words precise and slow, and the hair on the back of your neck stood up straight at the obvious way he was picking a fight. “I mean, most expect me to be the one that growls and loses his temper, sounding more like a beast, but I gotta hand it to ya, brother. You sure know how to-”

“Cut the shit and say your piece, Raphael.” Leo interjected, drawing out the syllables of his brother’s name, and you didn’t have to see into the room to hear how close their voices were to each other, how up in each others’ faces they must be.

Silence for a beat, then Raph spoke up, that careful cajole peeling back to show the rough anger underneath. “You don’t understand how lucky you are, Fearless. We’ve all been dreamin of someone that would put up with our ugly mugs, and you go and-”

“Someone? Or her?” Your eyes bugged at the insinuation leveled in the growl, and fought the instinct to scurry to the side, knowing they’d hear.

The was a long silence that you drowned in, heart beating too fast, too loud, certain a fist would fly -

before Raph huffed, voice so cutting you had to concentrate to hear the amusement underneath. “You think I’m after your girl, Leo?” He let out a vicious laugh that sounded anything but humorous. “You better clean up then, cuz she ain’t really looking like your girl from where I’m standin’.”

You were done. You didn’t need to hear whatever Leo said in response. You turned on your heel and promptly walked away, coat forgotten, shoulder no longer aching, mind a one thought tract to find Mikey and bully him into taking you home.

Goddamn turtles and their goddamn snouts sticking into things that shouldn’t be poked.

You found Mikey exactly where you thought he would be, parked in front of the tv with what no doubt was the game your previous call had pulled him away from. When he heard your footsteps, he turned, easy grin disappearing into wide eyes and a silent question, lips pursed at whatever emotion was on your face.

“Hey, Mike, I need-” You pulled up short, spying your coat on the couch next to him. “What- how…?”

“Raph grabbed it when he went looking for your phone.” Mikey answered, pawing at your coat to hold the mentioned device out towards you, big blue eyes glued on the way your face crumpled, confused on why his words would pull that reaction. “Babes?”

It should be so easy. Take me home. Mikey, take me home. He would, especially with how you couldn’t see him for the tears swallowing up your vision. You heard him toss the controller aside, nothing more than a green and orange blur that took up your vision as he clambered to his feet. You didn’t startle when his warm hands clasped your elbows.

“Hey, hey, you’re ok. Babes, don’t cry. Please, don’t cry.” You were scaring him, you knew, and the knowledge was enough for you to rub your eyes roughly, trying to shove everything back in the tightly padlocked little box you’d crushed under heel for a month. A long month of silence…

There was a scuff behind you, a foot sliding across the ground, and it had your shoulders tightening up, the forgotten ache returning with a vengeance along with the reminder that the Lair was the last place you should have a breakdown in.

A hand appeared in the corner of your eye, a towel bundled up in their grip. You didn’t need to follow the arm up to know who it belonged to- the blue toned fabric and vambrace gave him away.

It was rude to leave the proffered towel hanging there. It was rude and it was childish-

You took it from him with a mumbled thanks, certain your voice could cut glass with how sharp the word came out, and you winced reflexively as Leo shifted next to you.

You smoothed out the wrinkled terry cloth, raised your arm up to press the coolness against your shoulder. Your breath sawed out as the cold started to numb the inflamed area.

“Would you like to go lay down?” Leo murmured, and you almost missed the question, too surprised at how soft his voice had gone, not quite a whisper, but definitely closer to how he talked to you before the whole debacle.

It had your face raising up, curiously meeting his gaze despite the ache in your chest the realization caused.

He took you in, head dipping to the side and closer into your space. “C’mon, you can rest for a bit- Raph’s gone to get some pizza.”

You continued to stare at him, eyes tracking between his eyes as if he might explain the complete 180. “Where…” You trailed off, eyes flitting down to his shoulders, his arms, realizing you hadn’t been this close to him for a while. You swallowed, before rising back up to meet him head on once more. “Where am I suppose to rest?”

It was a valid question. Mikey shifted in front of you, and belatedly you realized you had forgotten his presence, caught up in the blue you hadn’t looked at for longer than a few seconds in quite a while.

It’s pathetic. You thought in a flash. A month of ignoring me and all mr. soft eyes has to do is drop one line.

But in the past you’d always rested in the main room, hunkered under some blankets on the couch and giggled while they pulled antics around you. He wasn’t suggesting kicking Mikey out of the shared space, and the couch was right there, so clearly he didn’t mean-

“You can lay down in my room.” Came his answer, eyes slowly moving over you in a gentle perusal that you knew meant he was assessing your mood.

The words settled in you like stones, scraping down your ears as they went, and you went eerily still. Silence followed, and you almost startled to hear the saw of your breath escaping.

Mikey shifted again, not quite leaving your space.

Your eyes narrowed, lips compressed, but you dropped your gaze in favor of palming the towel and muttering your answer to your feet. “Thanks, but no thanks, think I’ll chill with Mike til Raph gets back.”

Leo sighed through closed lips, and the sound had your hackles raising.

“You’re exhausted, and you’re hurt. Just come lay-” His hand reached out, nudged you gently.

In his defense, you didn’t realize you’d react the way you did to the slight touch either, but you all but jerked away from him, taking two steps to the side before swinging around to glare back. “I said no, Leo!” -

Or at least, that’s what you meant to say, but somewhere between your brain and your mouth, your throat changed the words into something else, something meaner.

“You told me no, Leo! You don’t get to tug me around like… like this!”

Leo blinked once, long and slow like he was processing, and you couldn’t care less where Mikey’d gone, eyes locked on your target as you waited for the return volley.

Eventually, his head tilted, and you saw the exact moment he chose the high road, and it made you see red.

“You’ve been through a lot tonight, It’s not me you want to pick a fight with.” He tried to soothe, taking a step closer, swaying towards you. “We can talk after you rest, but I really think you should-”

“Listen?” The word was out before you could catch it, and Leo drew up short like a puppet on strings, his head rearing back. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Mikey slinking backwards, away, but you barreled onwards. “Just sit and listen as you tell me what to do? What’s good for me?” You snorted, so loudly it hurt, and watched Leo’s mouth compress into a tight line at the noise.

“It doesn’t really matter if you listen to me or not, does it?” He lobbed back, and you reeled, expecting the next line like it’d already left his mouth. “You’ll still wind up in trouble, wouldn’t you?”

It’s too dangerous. For you. It’s nothing but trouble, believe me, I don’t want to place you in danger.

Self-sacrificing. The words whispered in your head then, they pissed you off now. You scoffed at him, waving a hand as though to brush off the memory.

“Yea, whatever, I’m not putting up with this.” You told him, shoes clacking against the ground as you skirted him and went for the tunnel that led to the garage. You weren’t quite sure if you were walking home, but you were angry enough that if no one stopped you by the time you got to the hidden door, you would certainly try.

Leo’s arm snagged out, and you danced backwards, out of reach, teeth gritting because you know he let you. He could have easily grabbed you, hell it used to be a game to see how long you could keep away from his hold-

“This isn’t the time for this conversation.” Leo whispered, breaking into your thoughts, taking another step towards you. His eyes rolled skyward when you matched him with a step back. “Please, just- at least let’s go someplace where we have privacy.” He hissed the last word, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out he was referring to the orange banded blue eyeballs peeking out from behind the couch.

“We already had this conversation.” You reminded him, ten shades of done and tired. The whispered argument from before popped in your head, and before you could corral the words you stuck your whole foot in your mouth. “You think just because you had an- an epiphany, I’ll fall in line?” You snorted again, knowing the sound drove him crazy. “Good luck with that.”

The line had him pausing, brow furrowing as confusion cut through his anger, and you took advantage, all but hopping around him and belting for the tunnel that would lead you out, scooping up your coat and phone and trading the ice pack in their place in one smooth move along the way.

It might have been years of knowing them. It might have been sixth sense. It certainly wasn’t your hearing, he moved as silent as ever, but you twirled on instinct, incensed to find him a step behind you.

Leo pulled back on those invisible strings once more when you all but snapped your teeth at him.

“You better let me have my space, Leo.” You took a step towards him without thinking, and this time it was him who took a half step back. “Back off.”

It was laughable, the thought that you could do anything to him if he pushed into your bubble once more, but that growl started up low in his chest, and you watched as his pupils blew wide, the dark eating up the normally brilliant blue until they were nothing more than light colored rings.

“Back off?” He repeated, growl slurring his words, and you locked your knees as his head swung into your space, shoulders rounding towards you. “But that’s not what you want, is it, princess?”

Ooooo…. That was- that was Raph’s nickname for you, and you stuttered, wondering if that was Leo’s subtle way of letting you know he knew exactly how much shit you were blowing out your ass.

You met him tic for tac, a hairs-breath from his face, blowing purposefully up his nose just to hear that growl hitch up to a higher register. “I told you want I wanted, Blue. You don’t get to throw a fit after you’ve already told me your verdict.”

You wondered if he’d break. You kind of wanted him to, to really yell, to give you some insight to his thoughts beyond what he allowed to filter through the mask. Your heart a fast staccato that almost drowned out whatever growl he was throwing out at your defiance.

He dipped his head to peer down his snout at you, and you weren’t sure what had you more pissed, the way he tried to reel himself in or the words he used. “I am trying to talk to you- if you would just calm down-”

“Oh, I think it’s you who needs to calm down, Leo.” You went to turn, dismissive and all at once feeling the hurt, and his hand snapped out. You thought maybe he was aiming for your arm and misjudged the angle, because instead his fist locked around the fabric of your blouse low on your hip.

“I can’t- be what you want!” He hissed at you, venomous, and you reeled, leaning back, the fabric of your blouse taunt in his fist. “I don’t know how to be human, act human!” He pulled you towards him too roughly, and your shoes squeaked against the polished cement floor. “This is what you’d get, what you’re so- so stupidly foolish to ask for-”

“Leonardo.” Splinter didn’t snap, but he might as well as bellowed at his eldest son. Leo sure acted like he did, hand snapping back fast enough that you almost slipped and fell before he corrected and caught your elbow, touch hauling you straight before it was gone just as quickly.

You refused to look up, conscious that you’d had an audience for the whole fight and it’d done nothing but spur you onwards. Mikey was still perched behind the couch, trying and failing to act like he wasn’t watching a drama. Splinter was at the top of the little stairs that led to his bedroom, cane perched between his two paws, ears swiveled to the side as if he was listening to something else.

Leo was stiff next to you, eyes on the floor, posture polite and hands tightly fisted to his sides. You couldn’t look at him head on, didn’t like the carefully blank face he was presenting.

You blew out a breath, hand pressing to your head for a beat as your headache started back up. “Sorry, Splinter. I got carried away.” Part of you wanted to throw Leo under the bus as well, but you knew he’d likely get his own version of a private talk once you were gone. “I’m just- just gonna go home.” You paused intentionally, then dipped into the bow you had seen Leo make to his sensei over the years. “I apologize.”

“You are always welcome here.” Splinter said softly, as if you weren’t just engaged in a shouting match with his honor child in the living room in front of god and sundry. “But for an old rat’s sake, please allow one of my sons to take you home, if that is what you wish.”

You side eyed Leo, hoping Splinter wasn’t suggesting what you thought he was suggesting.

Then Raph stepped out of the tunnel, pizza boxes stacked in his hands, wide green eyes trailing over Leo, before his gaze flicked to you and you cringed.

Knowing he had seen you lose your cool over Leo was somehow worse than Mikey seeing it, but then again, it was Raph that first weaseled your crush out of you months ago.

Raph arched a brow, tilted his head, then turned to Splinter. “I can take her home, Sensei.”

Splinter nodded. “Good, good.” He gestured at you with one paw. “Let Raphael take you home. Please.”

“Of course,” You said, bopping into a small bow again, and relaxing when Splinter turned his attention to his eldest.

“Leonardo, please, come speak with me.”

“Hai, Sensei.” He answered dutifully, face still carefully blank. He swayed forward like a pendulum, before he caught himself with a near silent scuff of his foot against the ground, and followed his father without a backwards glance.

Raph waited until the two had disappeared into the little room before he looked at you and whistled long and low between his teeth.

“God, just, shut up.” You told him, angry all over again, jamming your arms into your coat and belting for the exit.

Raph chuckled, set the pizzas down on that table, and followed you back out, haphazardly calling to Mikey over his shoulder, “only one of those is yours, numb nuts!”

#tmnt bayverse #tmnt bayverse fanfiction #tmnt bayverse fanfic #bayverse leonardo #bayverse leo #bayverse leonardo x reader #bayverse leo x reader #bayverse raphael #bayverse michelangelo #bayverse donatello

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cultofdixon · 11 months

Text

You made it, dumbass

Daryl Dixon [ROMANTIC] | Glenn Rhee [PLATONIC] • She/Her Pronouns • Even when the illness was starting to take the lives of those within the prison. These two were keeping it together, even if death tried taking them. • ANGST/SFW • TW: Illness / Anxiety / Hallucinations

Requested by: Anon

The prison was starting to feel like home

Then Patrick started eating people…

“Locking up people like animals. Where have I seen that before” Y/N scoffs as she was being updated by Glenn on the illness situation in the prison fields.

“…We live in a prison. Are you referring to a prison?”

“I don’t think I like what I was implying and you saying an obvious answer”

“There’s more than one??” Glenn looks at his best friend confused watching her deadpan expression burn a hole into him. “Yeah okay so there is. Anyway, we just need to be careful. We’ve already been exposed by taking care of the outbreak. We don’t need another one happening”

“If I get sick it’d be obvious.”

“You are a baby when you’re sick” Glenn states only for Y/N to punch him in the arm making him laugh while she tried hard not to.

The mood changed slightly when Glenn noticed Y/N looking over at Daryl while he talked to Rick. She always knew how to keep a blank expression to avoid people questioning how she felt in the moment through body language. But there was a sadness and worry in her eyes that Glenn always noticed.

“He’s an ox, Y/N. I don’t believe he’ll get sick”

“It’s…never too early to worry for your partner no matter how new the relationship is right?” She frowns looking to Glenn as he shook his head.

“I wasn’t even anything with Maggie yet and I still worried for her.” and that led to Glenn thinking about his wife. They just had a scare. Now there’s this whole new threat.

Both of them thought

If it had to get to them, they’d rather die than have their partners face it.

“You’ve seen Y/N?” Daryl approaches Glenn knowing that she’s either with him or alone but given she wasn’t in her cell, he was the next choice.

“Uhm. Last I checked she was working on the fence since we are overloading again…hey if you run into Maggie can you tell her to meet me in our cell?” He frowns slightly given to how he was currently feeling inside as Daryl nods before letting him go and heading outside.

If I could fight the sun I fucking would right now Y/N frowns leaning against her spear as she gripped it for dear life.

It was a normal hot summer. But to Y/N, she felt like she was experiencing all the different levels of hell.

As she pulled the bandana down from her face hoping to get some air. Y/N’s senses got the best of her resulting in an immediate headache as she currently was fighting the thought of ‘don’t collapse’ over and over again. It felt like a trigger clicked in Daryl’s mind to go check on his girl and when he did, Y/N was on her knees in the gravel trying not to let the weight take her fully.

“Y/N…SUNSHINE!” Daryl yells as he went to a full on sprint over to his girl quickly tossing the spear away and carefully picking her up. “Hey stay awake alright?”

“It’s too hot to…” Y/N groans when she was lifted off the ground, weakly returning the bandana over her nose and mouth to avoid the spread to Daryl.

Not like the man cared as he was currently speed walking to A-Block. Halfway there the two ran into Maggie helping Glenn to the block with one of his arms draped around her shoulders.

The two healthy individuals shared an anxious expression until that anxiety subsided only for a second.

Glenn flinched hearing Y/N cough for like an hour within a few seconds. Sounded like she coughed up a lung and the lung actually ejected from her.

“Holy fuck—Don’t die!”

Y/N immediately glared at the man as they were now walking in a group to A-Block. “Don’t tell me what to do bitch”

Daryl couldn’t help his annoyed groan that escape. “I swear—y’all only have one braincell and it’s shared between yea”

“Seriously” Maggie agreed before being pulled back when Glenn didn’t pay attention to where they were going and slammed himself into one of the prison pillars. “Jesus Christ—-“

The archer tightened his grip on Y/N listening to her laugh at what happened as his anxiety started to get worse thinking this could be the last time he hears that. But the way her expression instantly changed when looking up at him. Oh she always knew when he worried.

Once the two were in the block safely, Maggie and Daryl were kicked out. Given they were healthy still and Hershel didn’t want to risk losing 2 of his kids along with someone he considers family.

Not that their significant others being sick lead to this plan—-but it heavily influenced Hershel’s urgency.

“Maggie”

The worried Rhee quickly turned to Daryl who shared the same level of concern she was enduring. He was about to leave to get the medicine when part of him needed to ask Maggie for a favor. But the words weren’t coming out.

“What is it Daryl?”

“…if she dies, don’t sugarcoat it for me” Daryl spoke through a whole lot of pain he was pushing down into the earth as he didn’t want it to happen. He was afraid the second he leaves something bad would happen.

But with the way Maggie was looking at him. She had the amount of hope to carry them both.

“It won’t happen. I’ll do whatever I can to prevent it from happening” so will Hershel.

The two who were suffering from the illness laid on either side of the conjoined wall. Y/N did her best to keep herself awake even if her body was fighting against her. She felt as if she closed her eyes, that it would be over. Glenn was a bit healthier than her and without exposing her more to the illness he did his best to help.

Just by talking.

“You remember that house that collapsed before we reached the prison?”

“Mhm…”

“Yeah, that was me.” Glenn laughs slightly, holding his ribs because his lungs were straining. “Maggie and I wanted to be alone for a moment while we were house hopping for those months. But the house we were trying to yknow…was on its last legs. That when we left, I shut the door. And the whole thing came crashing down”

“Remind me when we get a house that you ain’t closing the door” Y/N laughs weakly as she listens to Glenn laugh from the other side while she slouches slightly. “When Daryl and I…first got together we were being very sneaky about it around the prison since we technically gotten together at the farm…we were in one of the watch towers minding our business”

“Oh no” Glenn smiles a bit listening to Y/N struggle to laugh and compose herself.

“I was on shift. He wasn’t. Nothing was happening so we thought…yknow. Then time went by and I forgot my shift was over…and good ol Rick came up and wished out loud that he never see what he saw again” Y/N smiles from the other side pressing herself firmly against the wall as she gripped tightly onto her shirt feeling the tears form.

“At least you didn’t have Daryl yelling at you from the yards while you and your girl were…yeah” Glenn laughs remembering that moment fondly, but when he didn’t hear a reply back. His tired overwhelmed body as quick as it could got up from the bed tiredly making his way to Y/N’s.

His anxiety started screaming.

“HERSHEL!” Glenn yells out even if it ended in a coughing fit afterward as he sat on the edge of Y/N’s bed holding her head up shaking her slightly. “You can’t die. You can’t die. You can’t die” he kept repeating until Hershel arrived quickly approaching and checking her pulse.

Weak, but there.

“No!”

“Yer sick too Glenn, and we don’t—-“

“I-I’m not leavin’ Y/N unless I f-fucking have to” Glenn covered his mouth in his elbow coughing up a lung.

“Son, I can’t—-“

“NO!” He snaps through tears not leaving her side despite everything Hershel was telling him. “She was the first person I saved when all hell broke loose…she became my fucking best friend within days. Days! Before the quarry group we would talk about the past and what we feared most…she feared dying. Dying alone and having no one love her. Well she’s my best friend. My family and I love her! And I know Daryl does too even if his stubborn ass won’t say it out loud. I’m not f-fucking leaving her” he sobbed as he was glued to Y/N’s side not budging even with Hershel’s protesting. But Hershel wasn’t leaving either.

________

“You think they’ll find a cure?” Glenn questions Y/N as they were sat on top of the building part of their group was held up in.

“I don’t know. It got out of hand, kind of”

“Mm…”

“But I hope so. Or at least a way to save those who’ve gotten bitten yknow?” Y/N shot Glenn a reassuring smile. “The world has always worked weirdly. Maybe something will happen. Maybe not. Just as long as I’m not facing it alone, I’m good to wait it out”

“Is that what you’re afraid of?”

“Huh?”

“Being alone in this?”

“Who wouldn’t…but I was afraid of that even before the outbreak happened.” Y/N kicked her feet on the edge of the roof looking down at the sea of walkers. “I hate being alone”

“Welp! You got me!” Glenn smiles wrapping his arm around her shoulders getting a laugh out of her. “And maybe even…the guy you like back at the camp?” He teased watching her face turn red. “I’ve seen how he looks at you”

“Glenn Rhee! Shut the fuck up!” Y/N laughs elbowing him gently.

“What! The Dixons scare the fuck out of me but the youngest one always has his eye on yea and…” He leans into his best friend. “Vise versa” and that led to her contemplating pushing him off the building.

At least they were feeling better about it all…

________

At least they were feeling better.

Glenn suddenly woke to a tube down his throat and both Greenes towering over him to get it out. And to also rejoice that he made it through this hell. Daryl’s group returned with the medicine and everything was going fine. Then his anxiety got the best of him making him weakly get up.

“No Glenn—-“

“Son, you’ve gotta lay down and rest”

“You’ve been out cold for a a day—-“

“A day?!” Glenn panicked as he quickly brought his body up, and immediately fell to the floor once he did. His body isn’t caught up with him yet.

The panic coursed through him enough to give him the adrenaline boost to get up off the ground, with some help, and to slowly but quick enough to the other cell. Expecting that since he was in another room…that…the unspeakable happened.

But when Glenn reached the cell with both Maggie and Hershel trailing behind him…all his worry washed away.

Daryl slowly looks up from the woman that comfortably laid in his protective embrace after returning from the medicine run. Y/N tiredly looks over to the three standing at the cell doors giving a weak smile.

“You made it dumbass” Her voice was hoarse from all the coughing she had done while the illness almost took her. “You almost died on me…”

“You almost died on me” Glenn frowns feeling the tears roll off his cheeks as he slowly approaches the two watching Daryl tighten his grasp on her resulting in Rhee holding his hands up slightly to show he wasn’t going to move her. He brought himself to sit on the ground by the bed as Maggie followed suit bringing herself close to her husband. “You didn’t wake up…you stopped talking and it freaked me out”

“Mm…I was just resting” Y/N jokes knowing damn well her body was giving up on her. The joke didn’t sit well with Daryl as his grasp on her made that clear. “I woke up when I needed to” and that brought out a bit of confusion to Glenn.

________

Her unconscious body laid there for what felt like days as Glenn did his best to stay awake even if his lungs were starting to fight him. Inevitably giving out.

The man toppled over and started coughing like a mad man. But he wasn’t coughing up air, it was phlegm and blood. Making him choke on it.

That felt like a trigger for Y/N as she weakly opened her eyes turning toward the display. She did her best to be quick and drag herself out of the bed resulting in a painful thud to the ground…bringing herself close enough to Glenn to roll him on his side so he doesn’t aspirate.

“Hershel!”

Oh thank god. Is what the doc thought initially until he came to the cell to see what was happening.

When he left then came back with the endotracheal tube and bag, Hershel got Glenn intubated and Y/N bagged him up until she couldn’t anymore. Hershel knew Sasha was strong enough to help as he called out for the girl to keep bagging Glenn while he took Y/N to another cell to check her. He was thankful her body would shut down only to protect herself, and not flood her lungs…

Or only one of them would be alive.

________

Thank god they both were

“No more almost dying for the both of yea” Maggie states, more so threatens. Making them both laugh as Daryl couldn’t agree more. “Now come on. You gotta rest too…and preferably on a bed”

Once Maggie helped Glenn up and out of the cell to his own bed. Y/N looked up at Daryl from the position she was in, knowing he’s been awfully quiet ever since she woke up.

“You okay, love?”

Daryl locks eyes with her brushing away the stray hair that covered her face keeping his hand placed on her cheek. Her smile slowly breaking out and always warming his heart.

“I am now”

“You know I’m not going anywhere…”

“Yeah, and I’ll make sure of it”

#cultofdixon #the walking dead #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #glenn rhee #glenn rhee x reader #glenn rhee fanfiction

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dailyunstableeve · 8 months

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Family issues

For comfort purposes-

(And also cuz I have fam issue so I thought it would be great if I write it out ;-;)

Hobie Brown x Fem reader

°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .•°:. *₊ ° . ° .

For this generation, it's already a normal case for you to have family issues and dramas.

And in the household, you were always the child who got bad mouth by anyone in the family so you always got into an argument with them.

You would slam your door so loud and push your shelf against the door so no one could come into your room.

You took out your phone, searching for the one person's name, Hobie.

You texted Hobie, a second later, he already replied.

"I'm on my way."

You and Hobie have been dating for two years, you and Hobie first meeting is when he decided to hit the school's studio, trying out his new guitar and you were just passing by. You observed him from the small window next to the door like a simp (aren't we all are-) you fell in love with him immediately because of his 'doesnt care about what other people say' personality while you were so caught up by your family.

"Pss pss," you heard Hobie from your window, you leaned out the window and found him hanging upside down on your roof.

"Hobie," you couldn't help but smile the moment you saw him.

"I'm here to pick up my luv, my doll," he smirked and gave you a kiss, "c'mon, I'm sure they won't know you're out."

"Well I did leave the shelf blocking the door," you chuckled and held onto Hobie, he had his arm around your waist, holding you tight as he swung you away from your house.

You rested your head on his shoulder during the whole swing ride, you felt him warm and you felt happy and safe with him.

Hobie would bring you to your favorite quiet spot of the city, so he could listen to everything you say, allowing you to rant about how awful your family has treated you.

Hobie's hand will rested on your thigh most of the time since his love language is physical touch (saw it appear in many hc so yea) and he would wipe away your tears if you feel so suffocated about your family issues, brushes your hair to side just to able see your whole beautiful face, aching his heart to see his angel in this much of pain.

Hobie would hug you if you looked like you needed one(which you always do), caressingly giving you head pats.

If Hobie has his guitar with him, he would play you a melody as he hums alongs it.

He would do anything to make sure you have a smile on your face, a smile that you truly meant, not some fake smile because he knows you too well.

Because Hobie is your boyfriend, you won't hesitate to bring him along when it comes to family gathering events since your siblings or cousin will be bringing their partners as well so you would ask Hobie to show up as well.

You and Hobie surely hated the family gathering event, because whenever they saw you and Hobie having fun together at the gathering, they would walk up to you and try to set you down, telling Hobie, he's better off without you, which makes Hobie snap at your family.

Hobie would tell them how perfect you are, without a second thought.

"What 'bout it? You're just jealous she's better than you."

That's what he would say because for him, you're better and perfect than anyone he knows.

"I love you Y/N, you gotta remember that, no matter what other people say about you, I will always love you, you got me?"

And when you're 18, and you're planning to move out, Hobie would gladly help you with it.

Masterlist

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lexthenonbinary · 7 months

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lil spicy hc's for sdj

literally 18+, any and all blogs that's ageless DNI otherwise you'll be blocked. Any minors DNI.

so with all that out of the way, here's my personal thought process for the dang man. also this is going to be gn for everyone to enjoy. and try to censor myself as much as possible so i don't get clocked by tumblr lol...also added is that i only recently got into this game and that i don't know everything so im sorry if there's a lot of things that aren't really good listed...thank you <333

-of course if you played the extended demo, you know he loves to praise mc, right? Oh man now can you just imagine the power he has??? Mr. Jack will use that for basically anything like to condition mc to go back to him...sort of like pavlov's experiment.

-now, if you uno reverse poor jackie boy...the outcomes is without fail, so good. he'd be all flush and whiney, immediately just do everything he can just to be told he's good. he's not above groveling. just to hear mc call him "good boy" makes him into a puddle of jello.

-now putting into perspective of joseph/jack...one's weakness doesn't go away when they transform. the weakness is the filthiest sloppy toppy mc can give. it doesn't even have to be that good, pretty sure especially jack would just love seeing how excited mc is to give it...he's about to blow no matter what...

-he loves giving head, favorite thing ever to do. sure he can stick it in...but why would he do that when he can give mc the best head they've ever had in their life??? he has to make mc nut (i hate how i have to use that) at least, like 2-3x before he even Considers helping himself. what a gentleman.

-is 100% okay with letting mc top. proper equipment or bought equipment, doesn't matter, he would be so proud of mc. the entire time he's getting absolutely demolished and ravaged by mc, he's still praising them, telling how good they feel, and how good they are to him.

-obviously we've seen how he tops, how he absolutely loves tearing mc apart and putting them back together again...he just adores watching mc's face as they get closer and closer to the edge. the best pleasure for him is to see mc getting the pleasure they deserve

-most def a tease. he always wants to please mc, don't get him wrong. but also he loves how borderline delirious he's made mc, making them work hard and 'earn it'...of course his rewards is so delicious.

-now if mc would flip the table on him...he'd be putty in their hands...and he would be pouting the entire time. being unable to do anything but just sweetly beg for some release off his c*ck...

-if mc says anything about how big he is...it's a wrap. jack is not egotistical in the slightest, but he will no forget what mc said. will be thinking about it Forever

-we all know the premise of the game, he's so possessive it's safe to assume he'd leave Marks all over mc's body. only stops putting it in visible places when mc complains how many times parents scolded them for leaving the apartment like that

Here's a bit softer hc's i think:

-loves when mc and him laugh during s*x...it makes him so elated that even when mc is asleep, he replays the memory in his head over and over again

-he's been locked in that tape for so long...of course he's touch starved. this man Yearns for any form of affection.

-genuinely loves to get to know mc, their favorite music, and pictures, and just everything, it makes him so happy to know everything about mc

-going back to about how he wants so much affection and attention...literally is the epitome of when someone says "i want to crawl into their skin, that's the only way i can be close enough"...yea that's him. cannot stand being without mc's touch for a second.

-loves when mc does small...nothings. like simple things that most people would just skip over. take for granted...not him, not jack. jack would worship everything that mc does.

last one:

-jack/joseph love fat mc. like big belly, smaller belly, whatever. apron belly? muffin top? they eat that shit up daily. chef's kiss thank you for coming to my ted talk

#lemon #citrus #sunny day jack #somethings wrong with sunny day jack #swwsdj #sdj jack #sdj joseph #sdj x reader #sunny day jack x reader #sdj joseph x reader

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wifey-badalee · 3 months

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ALL I NEEDED WAS A LITTLE LOVE AND AFFECTION,WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?

How it started!

When I was six when I noticed my mom never really payed attention to me Ike other mom with my friend’s ,it made me question her as to why?

“Mom why don’t you love me the way my friends moms do? You never hold me and cuddle me like they do. What’s wrong with me?” “ Oh , I don’t know what you want me to say those are your friends moms I’m your mom we aren’t the same”, she said. I guess she is right not all moms are the same I’m just overreacting,I know she loves me a lot…..right?

MY FIRST DAY OF GRADE 1!

“Mom I’m so excited for my first day ,I hope I make a lot of friends and have a lot of fun since I’m a big girl now I can go out and play a lot with my new friends right?”

“Yea atleast you won’t be such a burden anymore bugging me to play with you,” she said.

“U-uhm yea I guess so I’ll be occupied with my new friends.” Little did I know making friends isn’t so easy

“OK we’re here get out quickly before you’re late,” moms shouts.

“Well aren’t you gonna walk me to my class that’s what all parents do for first graders?”

“ You’re a big girl now you don’t need me to walk you to your class you can find it by yourself.”

O-oh OK bye, I love you!” Cricketssss ,that’s all I heard

I walked into school with a big smile excited for this new chapter, a group of girls around my age were standing outside my class, I knew they were in the same class.

“HI guys my name is Isabelle I guess we’re gonna be in the same class for the rest of the year we should be friends!”

“Uhm is this a joke, do you think just because we’re in the same class we should be friends? Uh yeah that’s not how it works but good luck making friends with the others,” the one girl snickers.

My mood was immediately ruined and I felt sad after that encounter, they all looked at me and laughed along with the girl. What is wrong with me why isn’t anyone nice to me, why don’t they want to be my friend!?

The entire day went on like this no one wanted to be my friend, I tried so hard to make friends but they all had their own cliques and didn’t need another friend, was I really that bad? I mean my mom didn’t like me so much so there must be a reason no one likes me, I just need to find out what.

MY 10TH BIRTHDAYY PARTY!

I’m now 10 and its my birthday party all of my friends have been invited ,I’ve grown so much since the last time, I know have a lot of friends since I moved school last year, we moved because mom didn’t like the neighborhood anymore so we moved a few blocks down, my school was then too far so she transferred me to another, it was so much better there, I made so many more friends than I could have ever imagined, maybe something wasn’t wrong with me after all…I’m actually super smart, my new teacher wants to send me for an advanced programmer for gifted kids, though I don’t think I will go, mom says it's a waste of time they just want to use me as an experiment, which I don't get or believe, speaking of her she hasn’t changed she’s so much colder now, I think she genuinely hates me as I got older I noticed it’s not normal for parents to be so cold to their kids all of my friends parents love them so much and will do anything, her saying she isn’t other parents was just an excuse, I’m not stupid I’ve seen the context clues she just doesn’t like me, but I don’t know why? I’ve done everything to please her I even started playing soccer which I hate because of how injured I get, yet she still doesn’t notice me or care . WHY CANT SHE JUST LOVE ME AND GIVE ME AFFECTION US THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

“ Your daughter is super smart , you must be so proud. She’s a wonderful little girl you have done an amazing job, she’d so kind gentle and lovely, she truly is a daughter all moms would wish for,” says my friends mom.

“Oh she’s nothing special, I’m sure your kids are just as lovely,” my mom replied.

Wow can’t she just accept the compliment and compliment me as well? This completely ruined me day, I don’t want to celebrate my birthday anymore. My aunt alba looks at me sadly as she saw my face drop she’s the only one who understands me and sees how my mom treats but she’s too scared to talk about this with my mom.

3 YEARS LATER!

I’m now 13 , I’ve just come our of the longest day of high-school which was dreadful, who knew high-school would be such a horrible place to be it’s like he'll, the workload is insane and so is the people here I hate it and I hate my life. My school life is already bad I just need to go home to my personal life which is worse.

The sun is blazing hot today and my head is pounding…oh yeah I forgot to mention my “mom” makes me walk to school and back which is so far away and her excuse is I’m taking too much time of her day, she needs to focus on training especially now that she had injured her leg. That’s a lie I didn’t buy she just didn’t want to, I don’t engage with her anymore I’ve learnt to just live it and pretend she’s not even there which is basically a reality, all she does is hangout with her friends and hangout with her new girlfriend, who doesn’t seem to fond of me either.. I wonder what mom said to her about me she gives me dirty looks and acts like this isn’t my house and I don’t belong here…maybe I don’t. Aunt alba is the person I hangout with besides my friends she’s gets me and we always have fun together, sometimes I wish she was my mom instead.

PRESENT DAY!

Uhm so yeah let’s just say my life is a whole lot worse than now, my got married to her girlfriend Olga and she had a baby about 2 years ago, that baby that I hate so much even though its done nothing to me, but its parents make me hate it so much. My suspicions..well it wasn’t really one it was facts just got proven even more my mom genuinely just never liked or loved me. She’s so loved dovey to the baby and is just completely a whole new person with her, she cuddles her almost all the time, as soon as she walks through the door, she doesn’t even greet me (not that I expected her to do so since she never does or has) but runs to find the baby and greets her with hugs and kisses. That’s all I ever wanted as a kid, why was it so difficult for her to do that with me. I was never a bad kid or nagged her, u never even said anything….is that why? She takes Olga and the baby on trips even to other countries why I don’t know its not like the baby will even remember but she does leaving me behind because “I’m being punished” for whatever reason Olga cane up with .Oh yeah I forgot to mention she completely despised me, she’s sees me as an obstacle in their perfect family, apparently I don’t fit in according to her which my agrees, she’s says I’m too cold and mean and not a good influence for her new baby since I “disrespect” since I disrespect my mom so much, she says she doesn’t want that negative energy around them. I don’t know what to do anymore I hate my life, I hate myself and I just want to end it all, I’m so tired of people acting like I’m such a horrible person and acting like something is wrong with me.

I go to the lounge and sit on the sofa to watch a new series I recently started until I hear a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” I said as if someone else would.

“Hola mi amor, you just keep getting more beautiful everything I see you,” says my gran Eli.

“Thanks gran, hey alba!” I screech with excitement, that doesn’t last long as Olga comes in the kitchen to quieten me.

“Stop yelling the baby is sleeping, I just put her down I don’t need you to wake her up. You’re such a nuisance,” Olga says.

I just turn around and walk back to my seat on the sofa when my “mom” appears.

“Hola mami and alba, Como estas?,” she greets.

“Moy bien,” Eli replied

“Lets eat shall we,” Olga says.

We al sit down to eat, I go to it next to aunt alba which is so much nicer, I’ll have someone to talk to during dinner.

“Are you excited for your school play coming up,” aunt alba asks.

“Yeah I actually am surprisingly,” I reply.

“What school play,” mom asks.

“Isabelle's school is hosting a play of Romeo and Juliet, our girl scored the part of Juliet, can you imagine, though shouldn’t you know this since you’re her MOM,?” says gran Eli

“With who’s permission did she get to participate in this?, you don’t even ask anymore you just do things on your own buzz,” says mom

At this point I was furious, firstly I told her this 2 weeks ago and she agreed, she probably wasn’t paying attention, and now she wants to accuse me of just making decisions without asking..really. My whole life I has to make decisions for myself and I had to be put in adult situations from the time I was little because my mother wasn’t interested in helping me with anything, now she wants to come be a mother when I’m so much older, NO I’m not letting this slide anymore, I’m finally excited for something in my life and I won’t let her take that way from me… I push my chair backwards and bang my hands on the table….

TO BE CONTINUED….

#alexia putellas angst #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #fc barcelona #alexia putellas fic #fc femeni #@woso-dreamzzz

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starcrossedxwriter · 9 months

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Wicked Fantasies Part 4 (MBJ x Black OC)

Warnings: mentions of grief and death… NSFW, public sex, name calling, BDSM themes

A/N: lol remember when I said this was gonna be two parts? Well I finished both so I said why not lol long chapter ahead but I hope you enjoy!

***

“It’s really insane when you think about it,” she laughed. “I mean God, these people are saying shit I wouldn’t dare breathe out loud… to a complete stranger. Do your DMs always look like this?”

Michael nodded, causing Raven to shake her head in complete disbelief. “I don’t see most of ‘em but my team likes to share the wildest ones sometimes. The people are mad creative.”

“You don’t ever feel objectified by it?” Raven asked, her nails tapping quietly against her screen as she deleted DM after DM.

“Sometimes but it’s par the course in my world. And they do it to all celebrities. It’s also not like me and my team don’t play into that shit. So it’s kinda hard to get mad. When you get branded as a sex symbol, people treat you like one. And generally, people don’t mean any harm by it. As long as people, you know, keep that shit on social, I don’t get bothered.”

“Fair. People need to like get offline and touch grass. The amount of women in my DMs insulting me for ‘stealing you?’ You’d think I wrecked their fantasy home. It’s kinda disturbing, not gonna lie.”

Despite the rise in explicit DMs, Raven was pleasantly surprised at how little her life had changed since she became the public girlfriend of a mega movie star. She had never seen so many follow requests in her life and the cameras swarmed the library for the first few days. However, other than that and one or two articles detailing the sparse details of her life that were available, things were pretty much exactly the same. It also helped that there was a major celebrity scandal each week so their relationship had quickly become old news. But they were the new “it couple” on the block. The world bought their act hook, line, and sinker. A few more months of this and the debacle of their first date would be a funny passing joke on SNL or Late Night tv and nothing more.

“I feel bad dragging you to this shit on your birthday,” Michael mumbled apologetically.

Raven scoffed. “It’s a dinner party at Ryan Coogler’s with the cast of my favorite superhero movie of all time,” she exclaimed, a bit of her fan girl side slipping out. “Hardly a punishment. We got our photo so you can post something cute and sappy for the gram and I get to do something fun completely unrelated to my birthday. Win, win.” She assured him with a smile.

Michael still did not understand her aversion to her birthday, it was one of the many things about her that were a big question mark. He thought she was just being modest when she told him so when Ryan invited the couple to dinner at his spot, he felt bad for even asking her to give up her special day for a work event. However, she said yes immediately, clearly thankful for a work obligation to fill up her evening.

Her phone rang, interrupting Michael’s response. She rolled her eyes when she saw her sister’s name pop up. She had been dodging her and her dad’s calls left and right since she and Michael’s first date weeks ago. She knew her sister would find out from social media and would tell their dad, and she knew they both were just calling with their hands outstretched. She could tolerate them asking for her money and the money she did not have yet, she always found it and, even if she complained, she would give it. But she would not entertain requests for money that was not hers to give away, nor would she give Michael the impression she was a gold digger trying to bleed him dry. He was upholding his end of the bargain, she would not milk him for anymore than that. She let it go to voicemail, however, soon the car filled with the constant dings of her texts.

“You gotta take that?”

“Umm… yea,” Michael could feel her entire mood sour at the idea. “It’s just my sister. She’ll never stop calling if I don’t. You mind? Sorry,” her tone was apologetic, knowing how frustrating it would be to listen to half a conversation in a car you can’t escape from.

She held the phone to her ear and waited for her to pick up, making sure to turn the volume down as low as possible in hopes Michael would hear as little of whatever insanity her sister would spew. She knew she was not calling to merely offer happy birthday wishes, if she even acknowledged the day at all.

“Raven! I’ve been calling you for days. What the fuck?” Kiara’s voice filled her ears.

“Hi Kiara. Sorry, I’ve been a little busy. How are you?”

“I’m fine.” She responded shortly without asking Raven the same. “And yea, a little busy all over the fuckin’ ShadeRoom. You know how fuckin’ embarrassing it is to find out you’re dating MY celebrity crush on Insta?? You didn’t even like that nigga or his movies.”

Not true, Raven wanted to yell into the phone. She and her sister were not close enough to know each other’s favorite movies or actors, hell even favorite colors, let alone gossip about their relationships together. So she was not sure why Kiara even expected to know about her relationship, even if it hadn’t been a complete farce.

“You have me out here lookin’ stupid as shit to my friends.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize how it would impact you.” There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice, which she could tell Michael picked up on as he choked back a laugh. However, she knew Kiara was too self absorbed to notice.

“When are you gonna bring him here for us to meet him? The girls want to meet him too.”

“You and dad are always welcome to come to LA and meet him. O-Or just, you know, visit me?” she threw him an apologetic shrug that just made him laugh. She wished she could laugh at how quickly her family’s tune had changed about seeing her. She had invited them to LA countless times before everything fell apart but they couldn’t have cared less about her life and how she was doing. And when she tried to visit them, they made excuse after excuse about why it was not a “good time.” But now that she had a famous boyfriend, it was “when are you coming to visit?” As if the invitation had always been open. She had not seen her family in two years. “Don’t think either of us have time to come to y’all with his schedule. He’s going out of town soon for his new movie.”

“Maybe I can convince dad if you can get us tickets to the premiere of that movie…. What’s the name? I don’t remember. The girls would love that shit. Or… oh! He has to be invited to the new Black Panther premiere next month too. Maybe we can go to that? I don’t know what that shit’s about but it’s Black Panther so you know hella celebs will be there. He’s gotta be a brand ambassador for some fancy shit. Can you get us some Birkins or something?”

Raven clenched her eyes shut as her sister outlined her laundry list of impossible wants from her “boyfriend.” She knew she could never and would never ask Michael for a fraction of these things. And if she was going to ask him for something out of their contractual obligations, she doubted whether it would be to benefit Kiara of all people. She would do it on behalf of someone who would actually appreciate it.

“I’ll ask him. But maybe for now, you can settle for an autograph? Look, we are actually headed out on a date. Did you or dad need something?”

“Oh yea… I need money for a lawyer for that charge from a couple weeks ago. You know that fuck ass bar is suing us for damages? But that shit wasn’t even our fault.”

Raven’s head lazily fell to the side as she half-listened to her sister complain for several minutes, drowning on with details from the fight that made Raven think the bar was well within their rights to demand payment. But accountability was not Kiara’s strong suit. She offered lame “ohs” and “wows” to give the impression that she was truly paying attention. She was just waiting for the ask, there always was one and everything before it was pointless. She finally tuned back in when her sister demanded cash.

“I gave dad the rest of my savings to bail you and your boyfriend out of jail. And I already sent money for the mortgage and dad’s car. I’m tapped out this month.”

“Fuck you mean tapped out? You’re living like a fuckin’ big shot in LA with a millionaire for a boyfriend and you can’t slide me money for a lawyer? That’s fuckin’ foul, Raven.”

Raven clenched her eyes shut. It had already been hard enough to keep up the appearances that she had a thriving career in LA. Adding a fake relationship to the house of lies she existed in did not help matters. Her family had no idea how much she was struggling now and while she knew she could tell them, she did not want to deal with their reactions, which she knew would likely be to blame her. She felt enough guilt and blame for her situation as it was.

“I can’t just make money I don’t have materialize, Kiara.” She lowered her voice though she knew there was no way Michael was not listening. “You know just because I let you and dad treat me like an ATM, doesn’t mean I do that to other people. I don’t have the money right now but I can pay the bar in installments when I come into more in a couple weeks and just pay off the damages for you.”

“No, we aren’t payin’ the fuckin’ bar cause we didn’t do shit. And wow… God. You’re so fuckin’ selfish, running off to LA and abandoning us here to make all that money with your fancy degrees and shit.”

“Did I run off and abandon you or did you make it impossible to stay?” Raven asked, her exhaustion at constantly being the villain of her family’s story getting the better of her.

“Poor Raven. Always the fuckin’ victim as if everything that’s wrong in this family isn’t your fault. And to pull that card today of all days when you know it’s the anniversary of mom’s death. If it weren’t for you…” Kiara started to say before Raven cut her off, tears welling up in her eyes as she already could hear her sister and father’s voice finishing that sentence.

“I’ll figure it out and send the money, ok?” She called out, cutting her sister’s words off completely. “I’m getting an advance from my next book in a couple weeks. Find a couple lawyers, meet with them and get their rates and I’ll pay for it. No one crazy expensive, Ki.”

She knew lying was wrong but she did not have any other option. She couldn’t tell her family where the money would be really coming from. Michael had a whole list of things for her for the next two weeks before he went on his press tour, which meant she would easily make enough to pay her sister’s legal fees and pass it off as an advance.

“This is me and Jay’s lives, Raven. It’s not like you don’t have the money or access to itto pay for the best.”

Raven focused her eyes on the ceiling of the car, a sorry attempt to stop tears of guilt and frustration from falling. She felt a tidal wave of shame hit her knowing Michael was seeing her like this. “Whatever you need. But once my advance money is gone, I’m tapped out for a while. Seriously, Kiara.”

“Yea yea yea. I gotta go. I’ll call you in two weeks about the lawyer. Bye.”

Raven clenched her phone in her hand with a fist, her entire body turning away from Michael as a small frustrated sob escaped her that she couldn’t quite keep in. She tossed her phone down on the seat and wiped her eyes.

She had hoped to make it through today, the annual reminder of the worst day of her life, without thinking too much about it. But there her sister was, picking at the threads of her composure, forcing her to unravel.

The worst part of all of it was she could not even be mad at her sister or her father and how they treated her. She deserved it and she knew it. She had ruined their lives and this was her atonement. So she endured it, every slight, every barb, every wound because she - perhaps foolishly - hoped that if she kept reaching out her hand and kept giving, one day they would reach back and not expect something in it. They would forgive her and she would have a real family again.

It did not matter how they spoke to her or treated her, she just repeated the same mantra over and over and over again.

Keep reaching out your hand, she reminded herself as she took a few deep breaths.

“You good? We can drive around for a bit longer if you need a minute.”

“Yea, yea.” She sniffled and cleared her throat. “Just stupid family shit. One day we’ll have a date without me crying o-or having a panic attack,” she let out a watery laugh as she forced a smile onto her lips.

The smile was wide, and Michael knew, to a stranger, it would likely seem authentic and bright. It would certainly be enough to fool everyone at dinner tonight. But he could see its inauthenticity in her eyes, that’s where all of her emotions shown through. And her eyes? They were void of even the minuscule amounts of light and joy he typically saw and that were present moments before that phone rang. Now, she just looked torn down. And this version of her did not have enough energy to do more than put on that facade and pray no one looked too closely. But when it came to Raven, Michael always looked too closely… and he knew that was the problem.

Michael slumped back in his seat for a few moments, the wheels turning in his mind as he studied her. He knew he could continue with their plan for the night, that she would play her part and play it well. However, he could not, in good faith, allow that. All their dates thus far had been about him. She deserved for the one day to celebrate her to be all about her. He pulled out his phone and went to Google. After a few minutes of searching, he closed that and opened his call log.

“Hey Coog.” His voice filled the car, Raven glancing over to him as she continued trying to reign in her emotions so she could play her part. “My bad, man but we ain’t gon’ make it tonight. Send my apologies to the rest of the team and your wife.”

Raven’s head whipped to the side as she listened to his words. She could hear the faint accent of Ryan Coogler asking if everything was ok. She immediately turned to him and threw an expression at Michael before mouthing, “What are you doing??”

Michael merely winked at her before answering Ryan. “Yea yea. Just somethin’ came up I gotta take care of.” Michael chuckled. “Aight, ‘preciate you, brah. I’ll make it up to you. Talk to you later.”

As soon as he hung up the phone, Raven immediately spoke up. “What was that? Why aren’t we going to dinner?”

Michael ignored her and directed his next statement to Allen. “New plan, Allen. Just sent you the address.”

“Yes, sir.”

He continued to avoid her confused and wide eyes. He could not sit at a dinner party, regardless of how fun it was going to be to see the entire cast, knowing Raven was in pain. And even if he did not know or understand the extent of it, he could empathize and recognize she needed a night of someone caring for her, not the other way around.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

When Allen finally stopped, Michael helped Raven out and handed one of the cards out of his wallet to Allen, whispering something in his ear that Raven could not hear. With that, Allen sped off, leaving the two behind. Michael placed his hand on the small of Raven’s back and directed her down the block.

“What about your dinner party?”

“That nigga hosts a dinner party for everythin’. My role in the movie ain’t that big. Just settin’ up future shit so they won’t miss me. He’ll host another after the premiere next month and at the end of the award season if it gets nominated. Trust me, we ain’t missing shit.”

“But you’re paying me to go to work events with you?” Raven hated that once again, he felt the need to cater to her and her emotions. “I don’t need to be coddled. O-or for you to rearrange shit to celebrate a day I don’t even want to celebrate. You’re paying me to do a job, let me do it.”

“Yea and now I’m paying you to have a relaxin’ evening with me. This’ll be more fun anyway. We can still pretend it ain’t your birthday if you want.”

“Relaxing… at a rage room?” She glanced up and gestured toward the sign outside of the building they were standing in front of. It was quiet, no one but a front desk attendant gawking at them. But she was not surprised it was quiet for a Wednesday night.

“You tellin’ me you don’t have some rage you wanna exercise a bit, ma?”

She chewed on her lip, she had more than enough rage to get out, but she needed to fix that on her own time, not his. “I do… we all do, I’m sure but… then you shouldn’t pay me for the night. This isn’t work. You’re just doing this to make me feel better and I’m good. We really should go to that party. You can’t just blow off work obligations because your fake girlfriend’s having a bad day.”

Michael closed the distance between them and used his fingers to pry her lip out from between her teeth. He wanted to smile at how she rolled her eyes and pouted a bit, clearly resisting the urge to draw her lip back where it was.

“You aren’t ‘good.’ I don’t know you that well but I do know that much. Just because this ain’t real doesn’t mean I want to watch you suffer on the one day of the year that’s supposed to be about you. A dinner party isn’t what you need. You need fun, seems like you get little of that shit anyway. So since I’m payin’ for your time, I’m tellin’ you not to worry about my shit. And I’m tellin’ you that your only job today is to have fun. And I don’t like having my money wasted, baby girl.” His voice dropped to his commanding tone, a tone that let her know he’d pull out the flogger again if she did waste his time.

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Fine. But this really isn’t necessary.”

“It’s my money. Let me decide what’s necessary and what’s not. Now come on.” He pulled her in the door, using his award winning smile to get them into the largest room that was clearly meant for more than two people.

The attendant got them set up in their protective gear and closed the door behind them, locking them in the room for an hour.

“So what do we do?” Raven muttered as she glanced around, quietly giggling at their absurd bee-keeper style gear. The room was filled with breakable items, bats and golf clubs and other makeshift weapons. There were holes in the walls and punching bags and dummies and stacks of plates.

He picked up a vase and chucked it at the wall, the glass shattering against the wall. Then he picked up another one and handed it to her.

His hand pressed into her chest, right above her heart. “Every negative thing you feel in here? Destroy everythin’ in this room til it doesn’t feel like you’re drownin’ in it.”

She grabbed the vase from his hand and held it for a moment before she threw it as hard as she could at the same spot on the wall. Lacking his strength, it did not make it to the wall but she did enjoy the rush of adrenaline and satisfying crash it made as it shattered to the ground. She did not even need further prompting as she picked up the discarded baseball bat near her and started using it to break everything she could see that was breakable.

Michael spent most of the hour cheering her on as she released every bit of pent up frustration and anger and pain and shame she felt. She was so tightly wound all of the time, never letting any of it show so she could never let any of it go. But this was a cathartic release that she did not even know she needed. She knew she would feel it all again tomorrow but every crash, every piece of glass shattered, every dent she made into the walls of that room felt like a small bit of everything she kept in started to vanish piece by piece.

By the time the buzzer rang, signaling the end of their session, she was exhausted, her arms tired but she had never felt lighter.

“That was…” she breathed heavily as they walked out toward Michael’s SUV. “Amazing. I didn’t know I needed that. Thank you.”

“See? You gotta trust me more, baby girl. I know more than just what your body needs.” He winked at her as he closed the door behind him. “And now, we have one more stop.”

They spent the entire drive recapping their favorite things to break in the rage room, which “weapons” caused the most damage.

“Remind me never to piss you off,” Michael joked as Allen pulled off onto an overlook.

“What do you mean??”

“You were downright terrifyin’ with that damn bat. Can’t have you goin’ all Jazmine Sullivan or Carrie Underwood on my car.”

“Whatchu know about Before He Cheats?”

He let out a barking laugh. “Enough to know niggas go up for that song, me included.” He admitted. “But if you try to sell that to a gossip site, I’ll deny it.”

“Wow, learning something new about you every day. And please, I’m sure there are more effective ways to hurt you if you pissed me off,” she teased. “You’d have a new car before I even finished taking a bat to the old one.”

“You might be right about that.”

“Where are we?” She asked as Michael helped her out of the car and she followed him around to the back of the SUV. He opened the trunk and laid out a picnic blanket and soft pillows that Allen had purchased while they were raging and jogged up to the front to grab the box of Prince St. Pizza that had made Raven’s stomach growl the entire ride and a bottle of white wine.

“Overlook by the Hollywood sign. Perfect view of the city with my favorite white wine and favorite pizza.”

Raven smiled as he helped her climb into the back of the SUV, both of them leaning on the back as they looked out over the city. The silence was comforting, both of them eating their way through the giant pepperoni pizza and several glasses of wine. When they finished one bottle, Allen just produced another from the front seat and handed it back to them.

“Thank you… for tonight,” Raven smiled as he poured her another glass of wine. “I… did really need this. And you didn’t have to.”

“Don’t mention it. Seemed like you needed this more than I needed a dinner party.” He paused. “So your sister… did she even say happy birthday to you?”

Raven let out a cold laugh as she took a long sip from her glass. “Nope. But I didn’t expect her to. Told you,” she whispered as her fingers played with the strings on the edge of their blanket. “Just another day.

“So that’s why you don’t celebrate your birthday? Your mom?” At her startled expression, he shrugged apologetically. “I didn’t hear everythin’ but your sister was talkin’ loud as fuck toward the end. When’d she die?”

Raven sighed. “She died in labor. Had some condition, doctors told her no more kids… she got pregnant by accident. My dad wanted her to have an abortion, she refused. She gave birth and died a couple hours later.”

“I’m sorry,” he offered quietly, his hand rubbing her thigh. He had tuned out most of their conversation, not wanting to eavesdrop. But the moment he heard frustration and pain in Raven’s voice, he could no longer block it out. He heard every word her sister hurled at her and he hated that they treated her so callously. “And they blame you?”

She wiped her tears for a moment before muttering. “I blame me.”

“You were a baby, didn’t ask to be born. How is her choice your fault?” Michael reasoned, hating that she blamed herself for something so out of her control. But he also knew grief was not the most logical of emotions, particularly grief as deep seeded as this.

“My dad could barely look at me as a kid, wanted nothing to do with me beyond keeping me clothed and fed. The only person who didn’t blame me was my grandma, she basically raised me until she passed when I was in middle school. And I get it,” her voice broke slightly with her grief. “If it weren’t for me, my dad would still have his wife and my sister would have a mom. So yea… I was born and she died for that… not much worth celebrating in my book… or anyone’s really.” Her voice trailed off to a soft whisper before she shook her head and rolled her shoulders back as if she could shake out the negative emotions. “But you didn’t bring me to this gorgeous spot to trade childhood trauma. Thank you for helping me take my mind off all that for a bit.” He could tell by her tone that she did not want to discuss it anymore. “I don’t know why you’re so nice to me,” she mumbled as she took another bite of pizza.

He wrinkled his nose. “Am I not supposed to be?”

“No, no. I just… still waiting for you to be what I’d thought you’d be, I guess. What Tasha warned me you’d be.”

“And what was that?”

“An asshole,” she answered bluntly, Michael chuckling as he bowed his head.

“I am… an asshole,” he admitted. “I’ll never deny that. Couple bad decisions after a bad break up and Hollywood bad boy became the image so I leaned into it. Self-centered, arrogant, cold… Aside from my family, that’s the version of me people see.”

“But that’s not you.”

He raised an eyebrow. “How you know? We just met a month ago.”

She examined him with a soft smile before sitting up a bit straighter. “Because a self centered, arrogant asshole doesn’t do half the things you’ve done for me. You don’t treat me like a body or a business transaction. You treat me like… a friend? Even when you have no reason to. You may be a jerk but hell, plenty of niggas are jerks. You may even be a little selfish, not shocking when the world caters to you. But I think the real you is kind and thoughtful. I don’t know why you don’t want to show the world the side of you I see.”

“Cause that nigga gets taken advantage of, gets heartbroken.”

She nodded, she knew more than a thing or two about being taken advantage of.

“Who was it then?”

“Hm?”

“The girl that broke your heart and created this version of you?”

He let out a humorless chuckle and placed his hand on her knee. “One day, I’ll tell you.” He paused, glancing at her. “I treat you like a friend because I think we are… friends?”

He wanted to be so much more than friends. Every date, every moment with her he realized that more and more. However, if friends was as intimate as their relationship could ever truly be, he would settle for it. Anything, just to have her nearby.

The small smile on her face turned brighter. “I think we’re friends too.”

With the declaration of their friendship, both of them laid back against the pillows on their backs so they could stare out of the sunroof at the midnight sky. The sky was so perfectly clear, she could see endless stretches of stars.

“What made you decide to be a writer?” Michael asked as they laid there.

“I used to dream of being anywhere but where I was,” she admitted. “Still do most of the time. And when I was a kid, books, particularly fantasy books, were just the one place I could always escape to. Other worlds and lives so vivid so I could leave this one behind for a short while. And they always gave me hope that things could get better, maybe. I wouldn’t get saved by a dazzling prince or whatever. But they made me think things could turn around somehow. But when I was young, so few books had characters who looked like me or were written by women who looked like me.”

“‘If there’s a book you wanna read, but it hasn’t been written, then you have to write it,’” he quoted the quote she had above her desk in her room.

“Exactly.”

“Why’d you stop after one book?”

She clenched her eyes shut. “Didn’t have much of a choice. A… misunderstanding,” she muttered the word bitterly, “with my editor at my publishing house… and they dropped me, wasn’t able to find another. So I got the job at the library to tide me over till I figured shit out. That was… about a year and a half ago? Haven’t been able to write much since.”

“A misunderstanding?” He repeated, glancing over at her, his question clear even though he did not explicitly ask it. However, when he felt her body shift uncomfortably next to him, he quickly backtracked. She had already rehashed so much that she did not need to tonight, there was no need to unearth anything else. She kept giving him more puzzle pieces but the picture remained a mystery. However, he could tell that it was one that held as much darkness as it did beauty.

His hand grasped hers and squeezed. “You ain’t gotta tell me. Add it to the one day list?”

Her eyes were still closed but he felt her squeeze back. “Thanks.”

Silence fell over them as they laid there. Michael rarely just laid and did nothing like this. It was contemplative and nice, to simply exist beside her. He spent so much time being on, playing a part or an image. But he liked that he did not have to do that with Raven when they were alone. She let him be Bakari… the version of him that was only safe with his family and closest friends.

“Tonight… I needed it too,” he offered, ending the silent reprieve. “So thank you for indulgin’ me.”

Raven turned and propped her head up on her hand, turning her body to face his profile. He looked different bathed in the moonlight. He was gorgeous, anyone with eyes could see that. But he seemed more youthful to her, his features more relaxed than they typically were when they were on dates. His jaw was relaxed, his lips settled into a smile that was effortless… not his movie star smile, which she had seen enough times to recognize the nuances that signaled its inauthenticity. This one though, his real smile,… it made him heartbreakingly gorgeous.

“Thank you for caring about me a-and for today. Haven’t had anyone do that in a long time,” she admitted before settling back on her pillows.

He knew she had that void in her life but hearing her admit it out loud broke his heart in places he was not expecting.

“What about right now?”

“What about right now?” She asked, her tone filled with confusion.

“Do you wish you were anywhere else but here right now?” He asked.

She tilted her head to glance at him, finding his eyes trained on her and not on the sky above. She let out a deep breath as she studied him.

“No, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

He smiled. “Good.”

They turned back toward the sunroof, content smiles on both of their faces. They did not talk much beyond that, both of them enjoying the silence and each other’s company.

She did not even know how much time had passed when something finally broke that precious silence, the buzzing of Michael’s phone. Instinctively, she glanced over and caught a glimpse of his bright screen. Tasha’s name scrolled across, Michael sighing a bit as he sent the call to voicemail.

Suddenly, Raven felt overwhelmed with discomfort. He was still seeing Tasha… why did that upset her so much? He had never promised not to, at least not to her. So she knew she had no reason to be mad. But she could stop the claws of jealousy from sinking their talons into her heart and soul. And when that subsided, all she felt was inadequacy. Another moment where she was not enough for someone.

She cleared her throat. “It’s… um kinda late?” she glanced down at her watch before sitting up and sliding out of the back of the car. “L-Looks like you’ve got plans?” She tried to hide the bitterness in her voice but she knew she failed, knew Michael could see all of it.

Michael shook his head. “Nah, it’s not wh-”

Raven cut him off. “I have an early shift tomorrow… would hate to oversleep. Mind taking me home?” She did not know why she lied, her shift was not until noon. However, she knew it was an excuse he could not argue with.

Raven started to walk around to the car door when she felt Michael’s grip around her arm, halting her movements. Michael hated that she saw that. Similar to her, but for entirely different reasons, he had been dodging Tasha’s calls like they were the plague. Usually he reached out to her to set up dates but when two weeks passed with radio silence from her best and most frequent customer, she started calling more often. He met up with her once, an act he regretted the morning after when he woke up. But she had promised discretion, if anyone knew how much of a farce he and Raven’s relationship was, it was Tasha. But he did not even enjoy it in the same way, he felt like he was just going through the motions. So when she reached back out earlier that week to set up another date, he ignored it. And ignored all the subsequent messages. He could not avoid her forever, but he knew he needed to put her on pause until Raven was out of his life and out of his system. While he was drugged up on her, no other fix was as worthy or quite as right.

But he did not know how to explain that to Raven. He had not promised her exclusivity but it had most certainly been implied. He would not be pleased if he found out another man she had fucked was calling her.

“Tasha and I aren’t…” he started to say but Raven pressed her hand to his chest to stop him.

“You don’t gotta lie to me. You’re allowed to sleep with other women, Michael. This isn’t real, we’re just friends at the end of the day. All good. I’m really tired though and need to get up early.”

With that, she gently maneuvered her arm out of his grasp and slid into her seat in the car. She was thankful with every passing mile that took her closer to her apartment and out of his presence. She did not have a right to be upset but she could not change the fact that she was. She enjoyed being his only and she wasn’t, and she was wholly unprepared for how that would make her feel. But that’s what she got, for thinking his feelings for her extended past their business relationship. He was kind but she had signed up to be used and he was getting what he wanted. She had to accept that.

“Thanks for the ride, Allen,” she said as she opened the door. She fixed her face and offered him a smile that was a bit forced but, despite the end to the night, still was partially genuine. “Thanks for tonight, seriously. I had fun.” His phone buzzed again, causing her to grimace. “And have fun with Tasha. Night, Michael.” She did not let him respond before she let the car door slam shut and she raced inside as fast her legs in her heels could carry her.

Michael groaned, his head thudding back against the headrest as he looked at his phone screen.

“I fucked that up, didn’t I?”

“Wasn’t your shining moment with her, sir.”

He clenched his hand into a fist before answering the phone. He never wanted to see that look on Raven’s face again and truthfully, he did not care to frequent Tasha anymore. He knew Raven and he had a shelf life that would expire but even when it did, he was not sure he could go back to fucking Tasha like Raven never existed. She had infiltrated every aspect of his being in the last two week and tonight had only made him fall deeper for her, made him want to give her everything she did not have. It was strange to feel this emotion again, to long for someone like he did her. Even if it could not be something long term, he wanted to savor it while he had her.

But that was not something he was truly ready to admit to himself, let alone to Tasha. So he decided to take the easy road out and blame it on something else: the image and his manager. Tasha would have to respect that, right? And he would spin some lie about seeing her after Raven and he broke up, even though he was not sure if he had the desire for dispassionate, unattached sex in him anymore.

“Hey Tash,” he muttered coldly into the phone.

“Hey baby… wanted to see if you wanted to meet up tonight? I miss you,” her voice was sultry and inviting, a voice that, once upon a time, would have had him racing through LA to get to a hotel with her. But today, it did nothing. “And a little birdie told me you were headed to Paris in two weeks for press. Should I pack a bag?”

Michael rolled his eyes. That was his own fault. He flew her out once last year to Cannes Film Festival and now she thought she was invited on every trip. There was only one person he wanted to take on this trip with him and after tonight, he was not even sure she’d say yes.

“Yea… listen Tash. You know how I feel about you. But I can’t see you anymore… just for a few months.”

“What?? Why?”

He rolled his eyes, she knew why. “Well, you know… I got this relationship with Raven that is really important for my career and I can’t be seen with other women. We’re gonna have an amicable split in a few months and then I’m all yours again. But until then, we gotta keep our distance.”

He could hear the frustration and bitterness in her voice, though she tried and failed to hide it. “You’re my best customer, Michael. You can’t just… drop me outta nowhere.”

“It’s just temporary. Just a couple months. And I’ll send you some money to tide you over till you get a new client. Also means no Paris. Sorry, I just really gotta focus on cleaning up the image over the next few months. You understand, don’t you? You know you’ll always be my favorite girl.”

There was a long pause that made Michael check to ensure the call had not been disconnected.

“Yea I understand. Just a few months though, right? Then you’re droppin’ the new girl?”

Michael rolled his eyes before nodding, though she could not see him. “Of course, baby. Just a couple months and then she’s gone. Promise.”

They shared a few pleasantries before Michael hung up and prayed she did not call him again for a while. His fingers itched to text or call Raven and explain. But something stopped him, the part of him that still adamantly rejected his feelings toward her roaring. He did not owe her an explanation, he did not owe her anything but the money he paid for her dates. She did not ask for an explanation either so why would he volunteer one? Those two parts of him battled until he threw his phone to the side in frustration.

He sighed and took a deep breath as Allen pulled up in front of his family home in the hills, his oasis, Raven’s perfume still lingering in the car… that hint of lavender danced on his nose. He fell asleep with that phantom smell haunting him, Raven finding ways to pop up in every dream he had that night, leaving him no escape from her or his feelings for her.

***

“Here you go.” Michael handed her an envelope filled with cash. “I’ll be gone by the time you wake up.”

Raven nodded and stored it in her overnight bag before grabbing her clutch. They were finally alone after being poked and prodded all afternoon by his stylist and glam teams to get ready for the premiere. They had ten minutes before the car would be there to take them. And then Michael would be jetting off at an ungodly hour to New York and then Paris for press. Raven was actually a bit sad to see him go.

Though they never discussed the Tasha debacle from her birthday two weeks prior, she and Michael were slowly but surely getting closer and closer each day. They had had an event or something to go to almost every night, Raven was shocked at the amount of money she had been able to make in such a short window of time. Even helping her sister with her lawyer, she felt as if she could actually breathe easy for the first time in a while. And on the nights they were not together, they generally texted or talked on the phone at some point. They hadn’t had sex again, Raven finding any and all excuses to avoid that since he was still seeing Tasha. He never pushed or seemed angry, albeit a bit disappointed when every date ended with her asking Allen to take her home. It was petty she knew it but she did not care. She had no interest in competing with Tasha, she knew who would win every time.

“Thanks.”

“You sure you’re gonna be good while I’m gone?”

Raven glanced at him and rolled her eyes as she threw her lipstick in her clutch. She did not quite understand how the small bag was even functional, it did not even fit her ID. But Michael’s stylist said it fit the look so she did not question it. “Don’t flatter yourself, Mr. Jordan. I’ll be just fine without you for a few weeks.”

Michael came up behind her and laughed. “You ain’t gotta pretend like you ain’t gon’ miss me, baby girl. I mean… you know, financially. I’m in New York for a week then Paris for a week. That’s a while without dates. I can slide you some extra if you need it.”

Raven bristled at the idea, she did not want him to view her as a charity case.

“No,” she responded shortly, immediately regretting the sharp edge in her tone as his face fell. “S-Sorry. No, thank you but I’m good.”

“Even after your sister’s legal shit or whatever?”

She let out a small huff. “Yea… she managed to pick the most expensive lawyer below the damn Mason Dixon line but I got it covered, I think. And with this,” she gestured toward her bag. “I’m good on the other stuff too. Seriously, you shouldn’t worry yourself about my finances. I always figure it out.”

He grabbed her wrist to stop her from walking away from him.

“It ain't charity or worry. Don’t want you stressin’ and shit while I’m gone. And I like to know my friends and everyone on my team are good. You’re both… why would I treat you any differently?”

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me. Or fix my problems.”

“You’re here fixin’ my problems. I can’t return the favor?”

“Because… that’s not what we agreed to. This is a job, you pay me… we go out. That’s it. My family shit has no part in this and isn’t your concern. I’ll deal with them.”

“Why do you?” At her raised eyebrow, he added, “Deal with that?”

“You don’t give up on your family. You reach out your hand even when they swat it away. And one day, they’ll see all I’ve done for them and how much I love them and they’ll come around.”

“Seems to me that you let them bleed you dry as if it’ll pay whatever debt you think you owe them. And they seem content with lettin’ you bleed out in the street.”

She chuckled mirthlessly. “They’re all I got… so I don’t have much of a choice. It’ll pay off. All of it,” she forced more conviction in her voice. “One day.”

“You really believe that?”

She turned to look at him. He could tell there was genuine hope in her eyes, true belief that things would get better. A dreamer, indeed.

“Yea… I have to.”

“I dunno... There’s gotta be better out there for you… you certainly deserve better.” There was a not-so-small part of him, a part that grew with every moment he spent with her, that desperately wanted to be that more for her.

“This world is filled with people who deserve better, Michael. But we’re stuck with the hand we’re dealt until better comes along. And I don’t see any better hands coming my way. Just a long game of this shitty hand,” she whispered the last part under her breath as she checked herself in the mirror once more. She grabbed her clutch and started toward the door. “You ready? Car should be here, right?”

He hated how resigned she was to her fate and treatment. He had more than enough money to give his family and friends, more than enough for them to take advantage of if they chose and none of them did. Raven had none of that and still gave her last to people that clearly did not appreciate it. And to know, she had every intention of doing it under some misguided belief they would thank her for it later broke his heart. It reminded him of how pure and kind-hearted she was but he knew her efforts would likely be wasted. But he would have loved to be proven wrong.

He did not know her family so he knew it was wrong to judge them but all he felt was red hot anger. Quite frankly, the only benefit he saw to the reality that this arrangement was fake was that he would not have to meet her family himself. He did not know if he could even sit in the same room with them.

“Before we go… got somethin’ for you.”

Raven raised an eyebrow, “I don’t need a gift. It’s your special night.”

“Yea but wanted to give you somethin’ to remember me by. It benefits both of us, don’t worry.” His face was a sly smirk that told her the gift was not a normal one. “But first, Tasha and I aren’t hookin’ up anymore.”

“Michael… you don’t have to…”

He shook his head and interrupted her. “Nope. You didn’t let me finish that night and you’ve been weird about it ever since. So now, I’m talkin’ and you’re gonna listen. It’s ok to be annoyed. We should be exclusive. I called her and put that shit on pause until our arrangement is done. We’ve only hooked up once since we started dating and it was early on. But either way, you don’t gotta worry about her callin’ or me seein’ her while I’m with you. I got my hands full with you anyway,” he winked at her.

Raven tried to limit the smile that wanted to blossom at his words. She was happy to hear she was not “competing” with Tasha as she thought. It was a narrative her own insecurities and anxieties created and fueled, a narrative that now seemed foolish. She still did not know why it mattered so much to her. Or rather, she knew, but she would never admit it out loud.

“So we’re good?”

“Y-Yea we’re good. Wasn’t worried,” she lied, trying to make her voice sound aloof and unbothered. She did not know why she bothered, she supposed she did not want her pride to be anymore damaged than it already was.

Michael merely pursed his lips and chuckled before nodding toward the bed. “So you ready to be my slut again or am I still on pause?”

Raven smiled. “I’m all yours.”

“Good. Lay down for me, panties to the side.”

Raven laid back on the bed, hiking up her dress to her waist so she could part her legs. She pulled her thong to the side, Michael licking his lips as he took in the mess between her thighs.

“Already so wet for me. You missed me too, huh? This is gonna be fun,” he muttered to himself as he pulled a gold vibrator out of his pocket before sitting on the bed beside her, careful not to ruffle his perfectly-tailored tuxedo.

He wasted no time sliding the vibrator inside her, Raven moaning lightly at the intrusion, the way his finger brushed against her clit. She wanted more, desperately. Her hips rolled to find his touch, his hand, her body begging for more action. But he denied her. His other hand fiddled with something small that looked like a remote control.

“Know what this is?”

“No, sir.”

“It’s the controller. Tonight, you’re gonna keep that in you and I’m gonna have a little fun with this.”

Raven let out a shaky breath. “Y-You expect me to keep this in… while we’re at a movie premiere? No way.”

He nodded, a mischievous grin in his eye. “I recall you wanting to explore some fantasies. You tellin’ me sex in public ain’t one you’ve had?”

She bit her lip as she contemplated it. The idea was certainly an intriguing one… but the risks??

“When would you use that?”

“Whenever I want. That’s the fun part… for me anyway. And you’re gonna spend the night making sure that sexy ass face when you cum isn’t plastered across TMZ tomorrow.”

Raven shook her head. “I dunno, Michael. I’m all for risk but this seems insane.”

He let out an exaggerated sigh, his voice playful and teasing. “I thought you’d be up for it, thought you wanted to have fun but I understand if you’re too scared.”

She heard the challenge in his voice. He was testing her, trying to see if she was really up for anything. She could not deny that the idea was intriguing. Having her orgasms at his mercy in public? Per usual with him, she knew she could say no. But as she ran over the risks, all she could think of was the thrill of it. She wanted it. She hated that she wanted it and hated that he knew she wanted it. But she did.

She sat up and swung her legs off the bed. She clenched her muscles to ensure the new addition to her ensemble stayed tucked where it needed to be and she shimmied the delicate fabric of her gown back down to its proper place.

“Car’s waiting,” she offered with a smirk as she grabbed her purse and walked out of his bedroom, deciding then and there that she would win whatever game he was playing tonight, and would show him that she was indeed up for any and everything.

Michael watched her ass sway as she exited and smiled.

“Gonna have a lot of fun with this.”

***

Raven was so overwhelmed by the screaming fans and reporters and flashing lights that she almost forgot about the “gift” nestled in her core. She kept her smile bright as she and Michael started down the red carpet, his arm tightly wrapped around her waist.

He looked down at her like the perfect image of a doting boyfriend, with love and protection in his eyes. He played the role so well, Raven almost caught herself falling for the act. But she supposed that was a good thing because it made her glances back at him more genuine. She knew they looked like the picture perfect couple, every gossip site raved about them after every date. She knew tonight would be no different.

She was so focused on keeping her smile intact and her eyes from blinking too much as they stood on the red carpet that she failed to notice Michael slip his hand into his pocket. Her smile faltered for just a second as she felt the device come alive, sending shock waves directly against her g-spot. It was a steady soft buzz, just enough to make her feel it, causing the heat to rise throughout her body. But it was not enough to overwhelm her.

Once she got over the initial surprise of the vibration, she was able to recompose herself with ease. She played off the change in her expression by adjusting something on her dress and continued posing with him.

Minutes passed and the vibration continued at its low pace, Raven enjoying the small jolts of pleasure. This was what she was supposed to be worried about? This was a piece of cake.

She leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek before turning her head from the cameras and whispering in his ear, “This is easier than I thought it’d be.”

Michael let out a deep laugh as if she had told a funny joke and pecked her sweetly on the nose, continuing their slow march down the carpet.

Raven genuinely felt like she could deal with that all night as she listened to Michael give an interview. She remained tucked at his side with a smile on her face. The interviewer did not really ask her any questions, thank God. So she just smiled and concentrated on keeping her thighs together.

“So Raven, I have to say, you look gorgeous. Who are you wearing?”

“Th-” her words were cut short as the vibration pattern changed, this time a long vibration that steady increased before pulsing against her g-spot and starting over again. She coughed awkwardly, pretending as if she had swallowed wrong before saying. “T-thanks. V-versace.”

Her answer was clipped and short, afraid her words would betray her if she opened her mouth. This was far different, this was ecstasy. Each vibration felt like the slowest, most tantalizing march up a mountain before someone pushed her back toward the bottom to do it all over again. And that pulse at the top? It sent a shockwave through her that made her see stars. Each time, she felt her fingers grip the fabric of Michael’s tuxedo jacket harder. The longer it droned on, the more her legs started to shake.

“You ok, baby?” he asked sweetly, kissing her on the cheek innocently.

“Y-Yea, of course.”

“You two are so cute. Thanks for chatting with me and I can’t wait to see the film.”

Michael said his goodbyes to the interviewer before guiding Raven away.

“What’s harder?” he whispered in her ear as they walked inside the venue. He stopped her in the corner of the giant atrium before they walked into the screening room and tucked her against a wall in a corner. Only official photographers were allowed at this point. To anyone passing by, they just looked like a couple having a sweet moment.

“W-what?” She found even such a simple word laborious to get out and it sounded more like a moan than a word. With him mostly covering her body from view, she could not stop the way her hips rolled as the setting changed again. The pattern was the same but the cycle was faster, the intensity overwhelming as he increased it to the next setting.

“What’s harder?” he leaned in and whispered in her ear so lowly she almost could not hear her. “Keepin’ that pretty smile on your face when all you wanna do is close your eyes and bite your lip while you cum? Hidin’ your moans so no one here knows you’re a loud filthy slut? Or stoppin’ yourself from beggin’ me to fuck you in the bathroom over there?”

She felt as if her entire body was in a frenzy. It was not just the vibrator, it was his hands gently pressing her to the wall innocently, it was the courses of people walking by them having no clue that she was on the cusp of the greatest pleasure of her life, it was that she could not stop it or him if he decided he wanted her to cum right then and there in front of everyone.

“A-all… of it,” she whispered, her face burying itself in the nook of his neck, which helped hide the pleasure swimming in her eyes but only increased it as she took in his scent. His signature cologne had become intoxicating to her.

“You wanna cum for daddy, baby?” His words were a light whisper that they knew could not be heard over the conversations and music playing throughout the hallway.

It was taking everything in her not to collapse in front of him, his arm around her waist was the only thing keeping her standing. Her legs were pure jello, every inch of her body was on fire, boiling with pleasure and humiliation at being brought to orgasm at the nicest event she’d ever been to in her life. All she wanted to do was cum but she did not trust herself to hide it.

“P-Please…” she whispered. She did not know if that please was to stop or to keep going.

Michael smirked as he felt her hips buck against his again. She was so close, he could see it in her eyes, feel it in the way her hips ground against nothing but air. It was subtle, not obvious to anyone else from the angle they stood at but he could feel it.

“Beg.” He demanded.

She clenched her eyes closed. All she wanted was to fall over this particular edge, right then and right now. She was so close, so close, it was almost agonizing to hold it in until he gave her permission. She glanced down as his finger hovered over the button to increase the setting again, knowing that she could not will him to hit that button. She would have to give him exactly what he wanted, what he always wanted. Submission.

“P-Please… m-make me cum,” she muttered in his ear. “I-I need… it… p-please.” Tears stung in her eyes as she struggled to fight the urge to let go right then and there, hearing her own needy voice in the space.

“Hm.” he offered quietly. “I don’t think you deserve it.” And with that, the vibration stopped completely.

Raven could not stop the groan that escaped her lips as he stole her orgasm, her body screaming and protesting at her in pain at the sudden loss of pleasure.

She let out a soft gasp as she glanced up at him. “You mother-”

He leaned forward and kissed her deeply, completely silencing her. Raven’s entire body fell into his as they kissed, she could hear the soft snapping of a camera nearby on her right side.

He offered her the sweetest smile before leaning to her left so the camera could not catch what he was saying.

“If you wanna cum at all tonight, I wouldn’t finish that sentence.” He straightened up and pressed his lips to her forehead, his arm still around her waist. His voice returned to a normal volume as he fixed her hair and ran his hand over the front of her dress. He looked like he was helping her adjust herself but he also wanted to make sure there was no evidence of their crimes. “It’s time for us to go to our seats. You ready?”

Raven felt like she had whiplash from the last 5 minutes. He was good, far better than she gave him credit for at these games. She thought this was just going to be a fun experiment. But Michael never did anything small. And she was foolish to underestimate him. 24 hours ago, she would have never thought she would enjoy something like this. But now? She could play this game all night long, even though she was losing miserably.

She peeled herself off the wall, her own hands running against the bodice of her dress. Her legs still felt a bit wobbly so she wrapped her arm in Michael’s to steady herself. She nodded and allowed him to lead her into the theater.

She barely paid attention to the movie as she spent the entire two hours watching Michael like a hawk. Every time he shifted in his seat or moved one of his hands, she wondered if he was going to turn the vibrator back on. Halfway through the film, she realized it was not because she was dreading it. She wanted him to. She was internally willing him to turn the stupid thing back on, even if it was only at its lowest setting. Because even at the lowest setting, she knew she was sensitive enough to get where she wanted to be. She wanted to feel the tidal wave of pleasure, she wanted to drown in and bask in it and feel the adrenaline of doing so in public. Besides, the dark theater seemed like the perfect time if he truly wanted to push her completely over the edge. When she wasn’t praying to God that he would turn it on, she was wishing it was his fingers or his dick filling her and not a toy.

She needed him so bad and truth be told, would have begged him to fuck her right then and there if they weren’t surrounded by hundreds of people.

However, nothing happened. He paid her no attention throughout the entire film except for the hand that rested on her thigh. The minutes ticked on and on and on as the cast went up on stage to say a few words when the film ended. By the time they finally finished and were in the car to the afterparty, she was a horny, disgruntled mess.

She kept her eyes trained on the window, even though it was tinted, when she felt Michael slide into the seat next to her. Two could play the ignoring game, she decided.

His hand slid into the slit of her dress, pushing the expensive material to the side so he could have full access. When she did not part her legs for him immediately, he let out a disgruntled growl that was meant to be a command. She pretended she did not hear him and ignored it.

He merely shook his head and laughed. “Aight, baby girl.” He pushed her knees apart with his hands, it took everything in her not to moan and keep her face stoic.

His fingers immediately slid into her panties, the heat of her arousal hiting his skin before he even made contact with her body. He caressed soft circles into her clit. She gave him nothing, no moans, no humping into his hand. Nothing. So he upped the ante and turned the device on to the highest setting it had available.

“Fuck!” She cried out, unable to keep it in as her body was assaulted with pleasure. The vibrator was more than enough to make her cum but adding his thumb against her clit was just simply unfair in her opinion.

His free hand grasped her chin, firmly but loose enough that it was not painful and forced her eyes on him. Her breathing was heavy as she felt pleasure building fast in her core. Tears pricked her eyes, not from pain, but overwhelming, soul shattering pleasure, “You wanted me to make you cum in that theater, didn't you? In front of all those people like the filthy whore you are? Didn’t you? Upset that I ignored you? But guess what, baby girl?” he switched the setting to a lower one to keep her on the cusp of pleasure without sending her over.

She let out a soft sob of agony as he held her there, suspended right at the cusp of her orgasm. This was more tortuous than him stopping cold turkey because she was so close she could taste it. And he kept it just out of reach. Every pulse, every caress of his finger was so much and overwhelming but still was not enough. And there was nothing she could do to force him to give her more.

“Your body is mine, your pleasure is mine. And I decide when to fuck you, when you cum, when you suck my dick… I decide when you’ve been good… when you’ve been bad and what to do about it. It’s all mine. You can ignore me all you want but see how quickly you fell apart? You can’t win against me, baby girl. Daddy always wins. You understand?”

She nodded rapidly, her body shaking lightly as she teetered on the edge, pleasure was consuming her every cell. She could barely think of anything but the raging inferno in her core. “I-I understand. P-Please…” her voice broke. She felt as if she would quite literally perish if she did not come soon. He had never kept her on edge this long, a few seconds sure. But time was stretching into minutes.

“You think you deserve it?”

She didn’t deserve it, she knew the answer he wanted. “N-No, no… I’ve b-been bad, a bad girl. I d-deserve to be punished b-but I’m begging you… l-let me cum. I c-can’t… P-please,” her voice begged him for mercy.

Deciding that she would pass out if he continued this game any farther, he pressed the button to return it to its highest setting. Her scream was nearly inaudible as she came on his fingers, her body shook as she gripped the door handle, shuddering through an intense orgasm.

“That’s it, cum for me,” he whispered in her ear. “That’s a good girl…”

“Thank you, t-thank you,” she babbled back to him as he talked her through her orgasm. He turned the vibrator off completely, finally giving her a break.

“Allen, circle the block a few times.”

“Yes, sir.”

At the sound of Allen’s voice, Raven’s eyes flew open and shock and humiliation set in. She had just cum… with another person in the car. And she had completely forgotten he was there. Once Michael had started going, the presence of another human being in their vicinity had completely vanished. She glanced up, surprised to find the limo divider up. She didn't even know when that happened. However, she knew that that barrier was not sound proof. However, instead of being utterly turned off by that idea, it just turned her on more.

“You like knowing Allen heard you?” Michael whispered in her ear.

“No,” she shot back as she fixed her dress and used the compact mirror she had stored in the limo before the premiere to fix her makeup. Thankfully she still looked pristine, despite feeling physically depleted. She did not know how she and Michael went round after round when one orgasm made her want to cuddle up under the covers and fall asleep.

“I keep tellin’ you how much I hate lies. But you never listen. Might think because we have a long night and I got an early mornin’ that you’ll escape punishment. But you won’t. Means I have a couple weeks to think of the perfect punishment for such… insubordination.”

“Don't threaten me with a good time,” she offered with a sweet smile and a wink that made him laugh.

He did not get a chance to retort when Allen pulled up at the venue of the after party. He gave Raven a once over before getting out of the limo and grasping her hand. He longed to bury himself inside her but he knew he did not have time, at least not enough time to satisfy the urges he had. And while he would toy with public sex, this was not the venue or event to be caught fucking in the bathroom, as much as he wanted to.

No, he supposed he would just deal with cold showers for two weeks until he could fuck her again, and spank her until she begged for mercy. Her pleas had done something to him, sweet music to his ears. The perfect orchestra. And he would use every free moment of the next few weeks to think of ways to get that sound again.

***

Michael rubbed his eyes as he scrolled through his email. He knew he would sleep well on the plane. He hated the first thing in the morning flights but he knew they were the only way to keep up with his crazy press schedule.

“We’ve arrived, Mr. Jordan,” Allen called from the front seat, Michael immediately hopping out. Allen grabbed his sea of bags as he waved at his castmates who were also just arriving to the tarmac.

“Thanks, man. See you when I get back. Make sure Rae gets home ok today, aight? Then enjoy your time off.”

“Thank you, sir,” Allen responded as he handed off his bags to the baggage attendants who would ensure they made it onto the plane.

Michael started to walk away and head to the flight when he heard his name behind him.

“Mr. Jordan!” Allen called after him, causing Michael to turn around. The older man jogged up to him. “A word of advice? If I am not overstepping my bounds?”

Michael nodded, allowing the man to continue. Allen rarely spoke, he was the type who liked to do his job quietly and fade into the background. And he preferred to keep it professional with Michael though there were a few topics they could shoot the shit over while in the car like basketball and the like. But Michael knew that meant Allen likely knew more about him than anyone else on this planet, which meant he would have been a fool not to hear him out.

“Avoiding love and companionship, even when it is right there waiting for you to take it, will never bring you happiness. And some would say such an ill-guided venture was foolish and selfish, particularly when the world is filled with people like Ms. Turner who love and seek out love with their whole souls and it's denied to them at every turn. And you may be a bit selfish, Mr. Jordan,” Allen admitted. “But I never pegged you as foolish.”

“What’re you sayin’?”

“I’m saying that it does not matter how this whole thing between the two of you started. It only matters how you end it. And whether you are brave enough to admit to her and yourself that perhaps you don’t want it to end at all.” Allen patted him on the arm before taking a step back. “There’s no reward for loneliness, Mr. Jordan… no Oscar to win for denying yourself more when you know you want it. The only prize those actions will give you is a lifetime of regret. And I believe you’re living a life too bright to have it dimmed by regrets.” he paused. “I hope I have not overstepped too much. But… well, there was a time a decade or two ago when I would’ve liked someone to overstep and tell me that.”

Michael stared at him for a few moments before he nodded. After his last very public and embarrassing breakup, he vowed never to fall in love again. Years of women warming his bed before he kicked them out before sunrise. He got what he wanted and gave nothing of himself… to any of them. But Raven… from the moment he watched her staring out that window, he gave without even realizing how much he had given. And now, he felt things for her that he had not felt for a woman in so long. Hell, he wondered if he had ever felt this strongly for another person in his entire life. He wanted more… not a contract or a business dealing. He wanted her. Was he being utterly foolish by pretending that was not the case?

“You did… overstep.” His tone was a bit cold but he was unsurprised at how Allen did not backtrack or shrink. He said his piece, called him out and was willing to accept whatever the consequences of that were. “But maybe I need more people to do that. Will you do me a couple favors when you go back to the penthouse to pick up Raven?”

“Anything, sir.”

***

Raven groaned as she turned over in Michael’s soft bed. She had fallen asleep in his master bedroom alone, as she always did when they slept here. He always took the guest room. She wondered if she should be more sad that they slept separately but she agreed that that was not intimacy either one of them truly needed. She groped around the bed for her phone, groaning when she realized it was already 11 a.m. Thankfully, she had another two hours before her shift but she knew she needed to hurry up so she could get home and change into her real clothes, not the fancy designer ones she kept there.

She pulled herself out of bed and stretched, part of her sad that Michael opted to go to sleep instead of fucking her. She understood he had an early day but she could not deny that all she wanted was for him to bend her into a pretzel after that orgasm in the car. But last night was, for the most part, strictly work. They did not get home and go to bed until 3 am and he had to get up shortly thereafter to catch his flight. And now she was left with nothing but a vibrator and fantasies of him to occupy her until he returned. But he had succeeded in giving her something to remember him by. She walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, rubbing her eyes as she dragged her feet across the hardwood floors.

Michael gave her free reign of his penthouse, even when he was not there. She did not spend the night there often but she had started to learn her way around, figure out where the sparse things he kept there were. A few dishes, a couple glasses, a fridge filled with coconut water and little food. When she slept there, so did he. But she had never really stopped to wonder where he spent the rest of his time. She guessed he had some giant mansion in the hills like every other star. But she wondered if that one was just as cold as this one, just as void of comfort and love, just as sterile.

She guessed it was not. Otherwise, he would have her come there. No, that one was the sanctuary for the real him, she imagined it was warm and overflowing with his favorite things. Japanese anime artifacts and art and memorabilia and his awards and family photos and all the things that meant something to him. And this one was merely for his image, sterile and artificial.

She blinked a couple of times, shocked to find a neat and perfectly packaged gift bag waiting on the counter with a long envelope sitting up against it.

She sucked her teeth and chuckled, “This nigga. I thought I said no gifts,” she muttered to herself as she grabbed a glass of water and sat at the barstool. Part of her contemplated not opening it. What had he even given her a gift for? Her birthday was weeks ago. But her desire to know what he got her won out.

She went to the envelope first, her name written in handwriting far too nice to be Michael’s on the front. She flipped it over and smiled as the person had written on the back: Open me last :)

“On the other side of the damn country and still giving commands.”

And you’re still following them, she imagined his voice shooting back at her as she placed the thick envelope to the side and reached into the bag. She made quick work of discarding the multi-colored gift bag paper to reveal two books. She pulled the first one out.

“Whoa,” she muttered as she took in a first edition copy of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. She turned it over in her hands, mouth agape as she studied it. It was beautiful and she knew it cost a pretty penny.

Her hand reached into the bag and pulled out a book she knew all too well. Her own. An odd gift, she thought, though she supposed it was sweet that he went looking for it in the first place. She wondered how he found it as she published under a pseudonym but she imagined a man with his resources could find out almost anything he wanted with time.

She flipped it open as she sat back down on her bed, a smaller envelope the size of a card falling out of it. He had stuck it in on the acknowledgements page, which read: From one dreamer to another.

She opened Michael’s card and took in his handwriting.

Thank you for sharing what you did with me on your birthday. I know the day isn’t easy. And apologies that this gift was so late - but I figured this was a loophole in the no gifts rule if you got it weeks later? And it took some time to track down your book. You didn’t make it easy. I’m looking forward to reading it on my flight. I generally agree with everything you say but I would disagree with one thing you said that night. The first time we met, you said Maya Angelou’s book saved you and gave you hope. I’m sure somewhere in this world, a young girl is reading your book and it’s doing the same for her. That’s something good that came out of October 15: the world got you. And that’s worth celebrating in my opinion.

I hope, one day, you see that too.

Happy Birthday

Michael

Raven let the tears that streamed down her face fall, one of them splashing against the glossy cover of her book. She wiped it away before rereading his card over and over again. She hated how he seemed to see her, really see her, and everything she truly needed. There he was again, caring more than anyone else, more than he should have, even when she was mad at him. It just made her want him for every reason she shouldn’t. She should want to fuck him… she should want his money… That was all she signed up to get. A few months of cash and to let him dick her down better than she ever had been before. All her problems and loneliness solved, at least temporarily.

Instead, her heart and soul were slipping deep into dangerous territory, he was dangerous territory. She still tried to force herself to resist it, her body hanging by a rope that was fraying at the middle as if an invisible force was taking an ax to it. And she did not know if she wanted to scramble back onto the ledge or let herself fall.

After a few minutes, she picked up the other envelope and slid the folded up pieces of paper out of it. The first one made her gasp… a flight confirmation for a first class ticket to Paris dated for one week from today. The second page was a short list of the things she should pack. And the third was her hotel confirmation, a suite at a hotel she could not even pronounce but one quick google search let her know it was one of the nicest and most expensive hotels the city had to offer.

The last page only contained two sentences in Michael’s handwriting.

I hope you have a passport. See you in one week.

Raven spread the pages out on the counter, her face paralyzed in shock.

“What the actual fuck?” She examined all of them, rereading as if the information on them would vanish or change right before her eyes. But the flight confirmation had her name on it, the hotel room… her name. It was all there in black and white. He was inviting her to Paris.

“I should say no…” she spoke to herself, a false ring of conviction in her voice. “I can’t accept this.” Her internal debate raged as she paced up and down by the kitchen island, her eyes studying the papers with each pass.

You know you want to, the devil on her shoulder reasoned. And fuck, did she want to. It’s fun… when’s the last time we took a trip or did anything fun?

She had never wanted to accept anything as badly as she wanted to accept this. She chewed on her lip so hard she was surprised she did not draw blood as she debated and debated. Until her phone buzzed with a text from Mr. Surprises himself.

Michael: damn you sleep late as hell.

Michael: Am I gonna see you in Paris in a week?

Raven: This was a huge gamble… What if I didn’t have a passport? 🤔

Michael: It was a huge gamble but not because of the passport. Consider it PTO… Come live a little.

Michael: So did my gamble pay off or nah?

She read through the papers one more time, deciding then and there that she was 100% going to Paris. Even her pride could not allow her to deny herself this experience. However, she decided to make him sweat a little, though she doubted he actually would.

Raven: I guess you’ll find out in seven days. Thanks for the gift.

Raven locked her phone before chuckling to herself. She grabbed her phone and the itinerary page and let out an excited squeal and did a happy dance before she raced off to her closet. She had a trip to pack for.

Tag list: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333@roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc

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A/N: Wellllllllll… a lot happened! A little angst, a little fluff, a little smut lol just gave y'all the full spectrum of things. And it wouldn't be one of my fics if I didn't give you a character or two to despise along the way lol

Next chapter, we go to Paris, which not gonna lie… that wasn't in the OG outline of this haha but inspiration struck and now I'm very excited lol Drop a comment and let me know all your thoughts lol Thanks for reading!

#black writers #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x oc #mbjordanedit #michael b jordan x reader #black panther #michael b jordan fanfic #creed 3 #adonis creed #creed iii

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