#yohan x k

[fourth-quartet]

motif: j'me tire (pt. 1)

Gaon,

I don’t know why I’m writing this. Perhaps it is easier to write my feelings down rather than speak them aloud. Perhaps I hope this never reaches you in any shape or form.

This is my confession.

The concept of confession is never one that has sat right with me. For a singular person to claim not to judge me as I bare my heart, only to know that their opinion of me will change with every word left my mouth… There is a part of me that knows deep down that nothing will ever change that. That I rely so heavily, so deeply, on knowing how people see me, that I will never bare my face to see the world as myself. All will remain filtered through that which is Kang Yohan.

I’ve had this dream since well before my brother and sister-in-law passed away of floating out at sea. It is warm, not unwelcome, and comfortable, but I grew more and more tired with each passing moment until keeping my head above water is all I am able to do. No amount of screaming or praying or trying to wake up will free me from the sea. It is only I and self-hatred and guilt eating away at me as I am desperate for something, anything, to rescue me from this space of alone and lonely and empty. Empty, is what it is. It is a world in which there is nothing but me.

I still feel it these days. That alone, lonely feeling — for they are different. To be alone is what I am, what I always am. With Elijah in New York now, knowing you are in Seoul, and here I am in Zurich, I am alone. But that loneliness, that horrific suffocating, never-ending silence. That deep-set feeling in your bones of knowing that there is not a thing you could do to free yourself from this pain.

The last time I felt like this, I sought ways to free myself from this loneliness. I found K and my team. But I found respite in a way you likely will not expect.

There is much you don’t know about me, Kim Gaon.

Warming Cha Kyunghee’s bed was far from the worst decision I made in those initial years after Isaac died.

I worry in this moment you’ll think less of me for the decisions I made in the past. But you must understand, I was not even thirty, the only parent of a child when I had never intended on having children, the only survivor of a family that wanted nothing more than for me not to exist.

I sought comfort in the only places I could find it. And Cha Kyunghee welcomed me without a second thought. My fondest memory of my thirties, is of Cha Kyunghee just sitting in silence with me.

How pathetic I must sound.

But my life became nothing but static. Nightmares of fire and endless sea and the regret of waking up every morning, to spend my day at work where I followed laws that only hurt the people I so wished to help, back to a house that haunted me, to a child who told me to my face that she wished that I had died and that her parents had survived, only to return to those nightmares again.

It was only spite that didn’t drive me to an end.

Spite and fear.

Did an afterlife exist? Would I see Isaac again? Would Isaac be angry with me? Would he support all of my feelings of regret, hatred, and guilt? Would he echo that which Elijah said? That he wished I had died, that he had survived?

I am a coward, Gaon-ah.

I have lived only in the hopes of never confronting my brother. I have lived only in the hopes of never seeing that disappointment.

I sought comfort in the arms of a married woman that I hated deeply. I felt nothing more passionately than my hatred for her, even as I spent long nights with her. As she ran her fingers through my hair, as she traced my scars with her fingernails until I shivered. I would never have allowed her to know that I often returned to the house and cried. I wrapped my arms around myself and pretended they were her, that they were Isaac, that they were anybody who might care about me.

I don’t remember K’s name.

It’s such a little thing, minute, a detail barely anyone might think about.

But he worked for me for eight years. He was my driver, as close to a friend as I could have. He threw away the world for me.

And I don’t remember his name.

He is just a passing thought sometimes. I forget he existed at other times. He spent so long as my shadow that I forget he was a real human being. His pain was only important to me in that it allowed me to use him to my own end. All it took was a reminder of his pain and I could ask him to do anything with the promise of eventual revenge.

And I could not deliver on even that.

I don’t believe I’m worthy of love. I don’t believe I’m capable of love. I’ve long since passed cynical and pessimistic; I think I’m well past nihilism as well.

You’re better off without me.

But, again, I am a coward. And so, cowardly, I will continue to live.

Yours,

Yohan

#epistolary fic #i've been juggling this idea of letters for a while #also known as: letters yohan never sent #the devil judge #fic stuffs #kang yohan #악마판사 #kim gaon #gahan #the devil judge fanfiction #gaon x yohan #cha kyunghee #k (the devil judge) #kang elijah

[ahundredtimesover]

I Want You to Stay (07) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 15.4k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: One of my fave chapters! I hope you like this one! And just a heads up that intervals between posting days will be longer as the chapters get longer, too. And bc u know, life... HAHA but again, thank you so much for all the love for this like??? HOW. PLS you've all been so nice so thank you! 🥰 Also… JK in that SNTY suit.

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

Mr. Ri loads the luggages in the trunk and you double check that all bags - which you helped pack yesterday - are complete. You enter the car right after and head to the airport where Jungkook will fly to Singapore for a few meetings and to attend Seokjin’s alcohol launch party. 

It’s been over a month since the Arts Center event and so much has happened since then. Jungkook went to Jeju to meet an artist and then to Japan over a weekend to meet another two. He’s been on calls with a few more with plans to meet in their country of residence in the next months, and he’s gone around different local towns to meet with craftspeople for souvenirs and future exhibitions. He’s also touched base with various national and international Korean arts and culture organizations for promotion and joint projects. The event opened doors for a new network that he hoped for. There are now proposals for other collaborations and side engagements that’s doing a lot for the company’s brand and expansion. 

To say that Jungkook and the team have been busy is an understatement. You went back to work after those few days of recovering with everyone overwhelmed by all the things they had to do but like you expected, you all managed and got things organized. There are still multiple things to handle all at once, but everyone’s just been on top of everything and showing how competent you all are as individuals and as a team.

Within that period, Jungkook has stopped by the team’s office and the pantry more times than those first months. He also managed to laugh at Do-hyun’s unfiltered remarks a few times and even slipped his own that got the team giggling. He’s seemed a lot more relaxed and so has the team. Lunch meetings have been regular given all the work you all have to do. Yohan and Chin-sun even say that they’ve gotten to know Jungkook a little better through their visits to the Arts Center. And while they do think he’s still a bit detached and catch him in his own world sometimes, he’s a lot more engaged and is actually way smarter than they’d initially thought. 

Jungkook checks his phone and sighs, prompting you to turn to him.

“Seokjin says the party is an intimate event but there’s gonna be over two-fifty guests so I don’t know about that,” he shakes his head, showing you the restaurant bar where his friend will be launching his alcohol brand. “For some reason, he expects me and Tae to entertain guests on his behalf.”

This was another development you hadn’t expected. Since that morning when Jungkook sent you food when you were unwell, your relationship changed. It’s still professional but there’s more openness now, as if that prompted both of you to be comfortable around each other. 

There’s more trust and honesty, too - he lets you make decisions, lets you handle the team when he’s away, and asks you for your unfiltered opinion. You feel like all the time you spend together has allowed you to learn how he sees and understands things; you even finish his sentences sometimes. 

He’s also loosened up a bit and allows himself to laugh and smile more. They’re still rare occurrences but you never point them out, not wanting him to feel awkward and then stop. They often catch you off guard so you haven’t been able to fully appreciate them but at least he feels comfortable around you, enough to even talk about non-work stuff and things that fill his mind, like random questions or small concerns. 

You’re unsure if he notices how uninhibited he’s become but you don’t point it out either. He still has his moments of living in his head, his faraway thoughts rendering him quiet and observant, and his perfectionist attitude means he’s still critical sometimes. But he doesn’t take anything out on you - not his frustrations nor his fears. He’d usually keep to himself and talk to you once he’s cooled down and you’d take that any day, so long as you keep your sanity and are able to do your tasks as instructed.

In return, you let yourself be the same. You’ve fully restored your confidence and that’s allowed you to show just how capable you are. You’ve been more vocal with your thoughts, too, and don’t take it personally when he doesn’t agree. You smile a lot more, joke with him even, and have been more generous with words of encouragement and affirmation. They come more naturally than you expected, and you appreciate that he doesn’t turn you away whenever it happens.

He’s actually okay to be around when he’s not being grumpy or difficult. You suppose that the situations he was put in - and how you responded with patience and understanding - allowed him to see that you’re truly on his side and that let him put his guard down a little. You’re past trying to please him for the sake of making your job bearable; there’s actual joy in it now, and while the search for who you are outside of all this continues to ring in your head, you think that sticking around for now isn’t so bad either.

“Perhaps Seokjin has seen how good you are with entertaining guests now and deems you worthy of being an extension of him,” you respond to Jungkook’s earlier musings. “And he wouldn’t be wrong. You’ve become really good at it.”

“You know, I think you oversell me sometimes,” he chuckles. 

“Hmm, I think I don’t,” you counter. “If I may say so, Mr. Jeon, it's just that the bar was pretty low so the improvements are quite striking.”

“Fair enough,” he laughs, not taking offense.

“You can still do better at charming people. Maybe you can learn a thing or two from Seokjin and Taehyung,” you push.

“Those two flirt, they don’t charm,” he playfully rolls his eyes.

“Well, I completely disagree, sir. I mean, I’ve seen it firsthand. And I’m not one who’s easily charmed.”

“Fine, I’ll see what I can pick from them, then,” he concedes.

“Kidding aside, I think you’ll be fine, Mr. Jeon. Plus, it’s unrelated to work so there’s no need to impress anyone,” you state. 

“True,” he hums. “But just thinking about these next few days is already making me tired. Tae rented a yacht for tonight. We have Seokjin’s launch tomorrow, and to celebrate, he’s throwing another party the day after.”

“Hmm, must be that you’re getting old,” you tease, earning you a hum in agreement. “But you’re used to that though, right? They always said that was your life back in Singapore.”

“It was. I had less responsibilities and people to manage but back then, everything seemed too much,” he shares. “I took the weekends seriously and really just did whatever I wanted. I haven’t done much of that these past weeks because I’ve been so tired and I feel like I’m under the microscope when I’m here. So yeah, I’ll probably just take advantage of being back there and just enjoy it.”

“As you should,” you say. “You’ve worked hard and you deserve to spend your weekend however you wish. Just, uh…”

“What?”

“Probably give Lucas a heads-up in case a half-naked woman greets him in the kitchen on Monday morning.”

The silence is deafening and you think you’ve crossed a line with this one. You turn towards him and he looks stunned at your unfiltered remark.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Jeon,” you bow in apology. “That was too personal.”

“It’s okay,” he responds after a beat of silence. “I guess I deserve that. I mean, I never apologized for the morning when you experienced exactly that. And for when you found that underwear on the floor, which I forgot to clean up. So, uh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, too. I got over it,” you assure him. “And if anything, I’m pretty sure she left that on purpose so she’ll have a reason to come back.”

“That’s exactly it,” he groans. “She saw me again and wanted to go to my apartment so she could get it. I told her I threw it away.”

“How brutal,” you tease again.

“Not my finest moment but yeah, I’m sorry to put you in that position. Must’ve been tough seeing proof of all the washroom gossip.”

“You know about those?” You gasp. 

“I’ve heard about them,” he sighs. “Mr. Ri’s got eyes and ears in the office.”

“It’s hard to defend so I just don’t try,” the older man shakes his head. “Not like you deny it anyway.”

“Not like I really care,” Jungkook shrugs. “But even then, I guess it wasn’t the best start for us,” he tells you.

“Perhaps not, but I’m not one to judge, Mr. Jeon. That’s all in the past now, and that feels like a lifetime ago.”

“It does,” he hums. 

It’s during these casual exchanges when you get to see a bit more of Jungkook as the person that he is, beyond the perfectionist executive who still harbors fears and worries about his new role. He’s still a human being who finds ways to deal with the stresses of life, someone who needs time to step away from his burdensome responsibilities, someone who seeks intimacy and connection and finds ways to attain them in his own ways. The doubts and worries are still there, but the foundation has stabled a bit. Somehow you think that you’ve created a space safe enough for him to talk about them, to apologize, and to try to be better. You hope he gets to create that for himself, too, and if that’s what you’ll leave him with by the time you decide to step away from this job, you think you’d be satisfied. 

Silence engulfs you both and like he often is after being vulnerable with you, he keeps to himself once again. You wait a while before running through his meetings for today and next week and inform him of what the team will be working on while he’s away. Jungkook responds with a few last-minute instructions, especially about the tasks he needs done in time for your team meeting on Monday. You’re both back to professional talk and you don’t really mind; there’s something about being honest and open that could be a bit disarming.

The car stops and Mr. Ri exits to retrieve the luggage from the trunk. Jungkook, in his navy blue suit, gathers his things and says goodbye. Before he can close the door, you call out his name.

“Yeah?” He asks, his one hand carrying his bag and the other, on the roof of the car as he bends to look at you.

“Happy birthday,” you say. “I know you think it’s just an ordinary day but I hope you celebrate well.”

“Thank you,” he says after a few seconds, basking in the softness of your smile for the short moment that he can.

Jungkook steps away then closes the door. He heads to the airport lounge before taking the 6-hour flight to Singapore, spending it on reviewing reports and design proposals. He goes straight to the office when he lands, settling down in his room where he responds to emails. He munches on some dumplings for lunch, thinking he’s missed the ones from the restaurant across the street, but then Lucas enters and sets down a bowl of seaweed soup.

“Ms. Cho asked me to get this for you, Mr. Jeon.”

Jungkook is caught off guard but manages to dismiss Lucas and tastes the dish. It’s nothing like his mother’s, but then again, he hasn’t had it in years. When Jungkook moved here, there were no celebrations apart from getting drunk at a club, which is also why he’d stopped thinking of his birthday as anything special. There were no traditional meals or well wishes or birthday cakes.

He’s here again. There’s that yacht party tonight but it won’t feel like a celebration. Somehow, with this bowl of soup, this does. You’re a thousand miles away but even then, he still feels your presence. Even then, he feels more cared for than he has these past several years combined.

Jungkook wakes up the next morning with a splitting headache. His neck feels a bit strained, given that he’d slept in an awkward position wearing his clothes from last night. He also barely remembers much. One minute he was drinking with a woman around his arm and the next he’s… here. 

He shifts and lays flat on his back, groaning as last night’s happenings manifest in the soreness of his entire body. The yacht was fancy, as he’d expected from his best friends. There was overflowing food and drinks, the music was great, and the guests were honestly too many for his liking. There were familiar faces and new ones, but he mostly stuck around with those he knew. What he also remembers is not being able to taste his cake. He’s definitely calling Seokjin to complain.

Suddenly hit with the thought of not knowing how he’d gotten home last night - or with whom - Jungkook sits up and groans once more, the incoming call adding to the ringing sound in his head.

“Mr. Jeon,” Lucas answers on the other end. “How are you feeling today?”

“Terrible,” Jungkook says, now finding the strength to get off the bed. “Did you take me home?”

“Yes, sir. You wanted to leave so Mr. Ri and I took you to your penthouse,” Lucas answers. “Your valuables are on the table.”

Jungkook sighs, knowing it was one of those nights. Removing his clothes, he sees the fresh marks on his chest. Wanting to prepare himself before finding some stranger in the other room, he asks his assistant if he’d brought someone home with him.

“No, sir. It was just you. She, uh, she asked to come but you told her you were too tired so she stayed behind.”

“Oh, good,” Jungkook exhales in relief, not wanting to deal with any of that this morning, which is one reason why he always asks them to leave. “How long do I have until I have to get ready for tonight?”

“About five hours,” the younger man replies. “You have a scheduled dinner with your friends at 5:30 and then the event at 8. I’ll be there before that to help you get ready.”

“Alright, thanks. I’ll just workout to deal with this hangover.”

“Medicines are in the cupboard, sir. Please just let me know if there’s anything more you need.”

“I will.”

Jungkook hangs up and presses on his temples as if that’ll do anything. He retrieves the medicine as advised and thinks of something else he needs - a cup of lemon ginger tea. Ever since you’d prepared one for him that one morning, he’s been having it after every night out. He calls the butler to have it prepared for him, given that he doesn’t have the energy to do so himself. 

It arrives, and coupled with the aspirin, he’s starting to somehow feel better. He knows that heading to the gym will do the trick, as it always does, but it still makes him think that he shouldn’t have drank as much as he did last night. 

For someone who’s not particularly fond of people, even Jungkook sometimes wonders why he goes out and parties as much as he does. 

He wasn’t always like this though. His weekends used to be spent on food trips and travels, but after the breakup with Chaerin, those days became free, and he’d stay out late so he could sleep the rest of the next day. The women were to make up for the loneliness; the alcohol was to forget why he needed them in the first place. He hates loud and unnecessary sounds, but the music and the chatter started to become white noise for him; they’d become a companion to help deal with the noise in his own head, or the lack of it. 

Years later, the remaining thoughts in his mind were just all about work, and he’d revert to the same habit for relief - the women became his thrill; the alcohol was so he wouldn’t remember them. 

And it works. The ecstasy lasts only through the night. It’s fleeting as his desire for them is. He doesn’t recall names, just that they made him feel good and that they felt the same; they often try to hook up with him again after all, seeking him in the clubs they know he frequents. But he rarely entertains them; a second time leads to a third, and he can’t be assured that they won’t ask the same tiring questions he hates hearing - why doesn’t he have a girlfriend? Why doesn’t he want to commit to anyone? Does he see himself settling down and having a family? What’ll make him want that?

It’s happened a few times, during the rare instances that there’s a lull in between and they take advantage of his brief period of vulnerability to make him open up. He never does, and it’s not because he thinks it’s a weakness to do so, but he just never really let the moment linger to find out. 

After a light meal, Jungkook heads to the gym and spends three hours expending his energy so he could get it back. 

This is his other means of dealing with his stress. Working out makes him focus on something else and it helps in releasing all his anger and frustration. As he stares at his bare body in the mirror right after - the marks from last night still visible - he scoffs at himself. 

He’s so stereotypical, it makes him sick. He’s allowed himself to let his life revolve around the shallow and fleeting sensations of pleasure to counter the permanence and inevitability of his job. This is his world and he made it this way. And while he drowns in the nothingness inside the walls that he created, he still thinks it’s better than being outside; somehow he thinks it’s lonelier and more burdensome out there. At least in here, he’s all he has to deal with; he’s all he can disappoint.

But there are still moments when he wonders what it could be like if he just dared to live differently. Like when he watches Seokjin animatedly explain the history and creation process of Korean traditional alcohol during the product launch that evening and how his passion is moving and infectious. Or when he observes how Taehyung freely moves around the club and makes connections with others as deep as his smile. 

Jungkook thinks about all this as he glances at the woman next to him later that night, bare under the covers like he is, her body curled into a cocoon as she takes a break. 

She’d caught his eye earlier because she wasn’t trying to get his attention like the others were. She spoke less and screamed more, let him do what he wanted but touched him softly as she pleased.

“You’re a good lover. Why do you waste yourself with something temporary like me?” She’d asked. 

It left him speechless and he shrugged - a change from his usual dismissal - but there’s really nothing to say. 

Why does he? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to. 

But it’s at this moment that he tries to imagine what it would be like if it were the same face he saw next to him every morning, if it were the same hand he held everyday, if it were the same warm body he curled into every night. His mind wanders too far, into the depths of a place it can’t go to, beyond boundaries he can’t cross, and the sight is both terrifying and calming. 

It’s safer where he is.

So when she wakes up from a short nap, she looks up at him, her soft eyes wishing for something she knows she shouldn’t.

“You should go,” he says, the softest he’s ever uttered the words. 

“Okay,” she whispers in submission. 

She gets up from the bed, finds her stray clothes on the floor, and puts them on. Jungkook follows her to the door, a first for him. Maybe it’s her gentleness, or the unspoken understanding between them, or maybe because she doesn’t ask for more even if she seems to want to. 

But though he contemplates pulling her back to try to feel what that’s like - seeing her in the morning, holding her hand, curling into her embrace - he doesn’t. He knows even that desire would end; it’s fleeting just as everything around him is.  

He holds open the door. She turns around with a smile.

“I hope someday you find someone you’ll ask to stay,” she says, surprising him again. “I’m sure they would.”

You walk around the store in awe of the luscious plants displayed on the shelves, your eyes as bright as the lights that shine over them. There are so many to choose from, and though you have an idea of what you want to have, it’s tough deciding which ones to get right now. The money tree is a must, so is the Chinese evergreen. But do you go for the orchid or the peace lily? Can you keep up with a spider plant? How many of the asparagus ferns should you get?

Your eyes flit from one plant to the next, eventually deciding on getting everything on your list then placing them on the cart for payment. 

Jimin chuckles next to you. “Since when were you a plant mom?”

“Since she got that aloe vera from Yoongi and she was convinced that she has a green thumb after it didn’t die,” Soomin deadpans next to you as you frown at her sarcasm. “That’s also after my weekly reminders to water the plant because ‘no care’ doesn’t actually mean it’s going to survive on its own.”

“Oh, shush,” you scoff at her. “You told me I was doing a good job.”

“You’d send a photo every few days, hun,” she laughs. “What else was I supposed to say?”

“True. I needed the encouragement,” you shrug, paying for your haul. “But also, I’m a plant newbie. Yoongi said that I probably need some of them at home and in the office for positive energy and he’s not wrong. All the frustration from months ago just accumulated in my apartment and I need a change.”

“So… Is Yoongi a plant dad, too?” Soomin wonders.

“No. He just knows about a lot of things,” you reply. “Plus, he’s an architect and a designer. He knows a thing or two about plant decor.”

“Why isn’t he here with you, then?” She arches an eyebrow.

“Because I’m with both of you, duh,” you roll your eyes. “And before you say anything more, I don’t really like mixing my work friends with my personal friends. It’s different.”

“Well, I’m glad we could join you on this new phase of your life,” Jimin tries to be encouraging. “It’s like turning over a new leaf.”

You scold him over his terrible pun but laugh anyway, enjoying the comfort and playfulness that only your best friends could bring. They picked you up from work last Friday then you all headed to a club after dinner. You spent yesterday at a beach at their insistence then stayed in during the evening. It’s now Sunday and you’re dragging them around as you run errands before saying goodbye to them again, and it’s not a normal day without Soomin mentioning Yoongi. Perhaps it’s because of all the guys you’ve mentioned that have taken interest in you, he’s the only true green flag; he’s also the only one you didn’t entertain at all. You suppose that’s something she’ll not really get over. 

The three of you head to a nearby cafe. Jimin excitedly talks about the latest menu item in their chain of restaurants while Soomin groans about the stuff she has to deal with as she manages her family-owned shipping company that’s the biggest in the port city of Busan. They turn to you and ask how the rest of your week is going to go, with slightly surprised looks when you don’t talk about work with as much disdain as you used to. There’s excitement, even, something that Soomin points out, and when you mention that Jungkook is on an overseas trip, she assumes that’s the reason why.

“Not really,” you clarify. “He arrives tomorrow evening, but the week’s packed - we’re visiting the Arts Center for inspection and then I’m doing an ocular with Chin-sun for the VP events we’re holding in the next few months. I mean, I won’t be buried in files nor will I be in meetings all week. So yeah, it’s not bad.”

“That’s good,” Jimin beams. “At least it’s nothing like how it used to be. Right?”

“It’s a lot better, I told you guys,” you say, reminding them of a similar talk you had the last time they were here, which was a week after you’d gotten sick. “Jungkook is… rational, less grumpy and impulsive; he also listens to me and trusts me. He’s even smiled a few times.”

“Wow, he really set the bar low for you, huh,” Jimin chuckles, earning him a nod.

“Does that also mean that he’s now completely bearable and no longer your type because he’s not an asshole anymore?” Soomin chimes in, being the blunt and bold one among the three of you.

“He never was my type in the first place,” you scowl. “Plus, he’s literally my boss, Soo. That’s like, not some flag, it’s a whole ass brick wall that shall not be crossed.”

“Right. That’s why Mr. Min didn’t make the cut,” she points out. “Told you you should’ve just quit your job so you could date him.”

“And I also told you that wasn’t the only reason why I didn’t want to,” you remind her. “Yoongi’s exactly the type of person I need in my life, and being more than friends is the surefire way of making sure that doesn’t happen. Like, why would I risk a good friendship for something that may not work out? Whether I break his heart or he breaks mine, it’s pain I can’t handle. There’s just no going back from there.”

“Right, that is your biggest fear,” Soomin replies softly, the sympathetic tone in her voice telling you that she does understand where you’re coming from. “I mean, it’s still possible that you wouldn’t hurt each other but I get it. It just sucks, I guess. The good ones often start as your friends.”

“I know. And I’d rather have them and be single than none at all,” you sigh. 

The thought is simpler than it seems. You won’t deny that you’ve thought of how things would’ve been if you gave Yoongi a chance, but the fear of what you’d lose always trumped that type of possibility. 

There’s a kind of pain you don’t want to experience, one of a broken heart caused by losing someone you’ve given your all to. It’s how you think you love, after all; you can’t give any less. But it’s also why you’ve never done it. No one’s inspired that kind of devotion for you. 

Soomin has pointed out before that it’s probably also because you don’t open yourself up to the possibilities as you should. Maybe you’ve just been too focused on other things. But maybe you also just haven’t felt the kind of all-consuming desire for someone who would be worth it, one you’d want so much that you’d willingly face the fear of paralyzing heartbreak just to be with them. 

You suppose that’s the difference. That’s the irony, too. You’re scared to love because you’re scared of the pain, so you keep your distance to keep yourself safe but it’s also why you haven’t found someone you’re willing to crawl out of your walls for.  

There’s not much you feel passionate about in life. Maybe it’s love. But you’re too cautious to feel it, to look for it, so you don’t really know. Maybe it’s something else completely, and working in the environment that you do hinders you from discovering it. You’ve kept your distance from a lot of things over the past years and the thought that one day, you’ll be able to feel free from all the burden you carry because of a past you couldn’t control, makes you look forward to the day when you get to walk away from all those and hopefully, find whatever it is you’re looking for. 

Jimin nudges you after you zone out, and you switch the subject and ask about the latest gossip in their hometown. You enjoy living vicariously through their social life back in Busan. They not only come out here to Seoul to see you but also to take a break from all the drama that they can’t really escape from, given the type of people in their circle of friends. You always thank the heavens you got lucky that at 10 years old and making a new life in a new city, you found Soomin and Jimin, perhaps the only other people aside from your mother who make you feel safe and protected, a feeling you don’t take for granted. 

They indulge you and share some stories, but when Soomin goes through her social media feed to show you something, she gasps instead when she realizes that the men in her friend’s Instagram post include Jungkook.

“Did your boss just go there to party?” She asks, showing you the photo.

“Partly,” you reply. “His best friend hosted the launch of his alcohol line there but there are a couple more parties because it’s his birthday weekend. Your friends went?”

“Yeah, some of them are Kim Seokjin’s friends, apparently,” Soomin says. “Small world. But then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. Seoul and Busan socialites attract each other.”

“Why aren’t you there, then?” You chuckle. 

“We’re choosy socialites,” Jimin clarifies. “Or like, pretentious. We just act like we are but we really aren’t, just to say that the Park and Cheon kids are interesting and sociable like the rest of them.”

“Who says they’re interesting and sociable?” Soomin states incredulously. “My eyes roll to the back of my head every time I’m in those shitty events. The lack of self-awareness of rich people repulses me. And I obviously don’t count us in.”

“And you shouldn’t,” you confirm. “I attract good people, I guess. I’m glad you’re not like them.”

“Well, what about Jungkook’s friends?” Jimin asks. “How are they like?”

“What I can say about the Kim brothers is that they’re nice people,” you say. “Very charming, ridiculously good-looking... And they sound like good friends, too. I can’t say much else. Their dating game is pretty strong though.”

“I’d assume. I mean, when you look like that, how could you not be?” Soomin states. “I mean, even Jungkook’s on point. That’s some hot girl he’s got.”

She shows you a couple of Instagram stories from her friends posting about the launch party. It turns out, there were a lot of Korea-based personalities who were invited. You spot Jungkook immediately, wearing the all-white ensemble that you packed for him the other day. His hair is a bit curled and the knitted top underneath the simple coat highlights his taut physique. There’s also that gorgeous woman around his arms, and if what you know about him is enough, you’d guess she’s probably one of those he seeks for a good time. 

The sight of him loosening up a bit and enjoying himself is something you appreciate. He’s always stressed when he’s here and you’re glad he could spend a few days partying elsewhere without having to think about work, especially during the week of his birthday. You don’t know how much of this aspect of his life he enjoys, but he does seem a bit free yet still somehow detached. You suppose that’s something he’ll always be - a man trying to live his life while separating himself from the meaning of it. You’re unsure of how he does it but perhaps it’s not that different from how you are, too. 

After lunch, Soomin and Jimin do a few more of your errands with you before dropping you home and then heading back to theirs. You spend the rest of the evening arranging your plants in your tiny apartment and feeling like more life is breathed into it with every one of them finding their home in a corner or on a shelf. Oddly enough, you feel a bit less lonely. That’s how you think you’ve been doing things, after all - finding substitutes for the kind of company you’re yearning for, for the kind of relationship you’re so afraid to have.

Jungkook wakes up that Monday morning feeling a lot better than he did the days before. For one, there’s no ringing in his head nor the feeling of dehydration. Bare under his soft covers, there also aren’t any fresh marks on his chest that signify the kind of night he usually has. In fact, he remembers most of it - he stayed by the bar and briefly chatted with the women who’d approached him. 

Suzy was there last night, too, the only one he’s hooked up with more than once, and probably the only one he’s had proper conversations with, given that she’s a landscape designer. She’s been away on business trips and had just gone back, her bluntness about going back to his apartment that she’s too familiar with being met with a rejection that she didn't take personally. 

“Has Seoul changed you?” She asked, her eyebrow arched in anticipation of his reply.

“Do you think a place would do that to me?” He laughed.

“No, but a person would,” she shrugged. 

“None of that,” he shook his head. “There’s no one. I’m too busy, too tired.”

“But not too lonely?” she asked. “It’s the only reason why you would call me.”

There was no bitterness in her words but still, he asked. “And why did you always come, then?”

“To see if each time would be good enough for you to not make me leave.” 

The conversation took a turn that he didn’t expect, the usual honesty in her words being too honest for him. He fumbled for something to say but she shook him off, claiming that she knew what she was getting into every time he took her home and that constantly hoping for something doesn’t guarantee that she’d get it one day. 

He drank a couple of glasses of whiskey after she left but managed to call his butler for a sandwich and lemon ginger tea in time for his arrival at his penthouse. The meal did the trick, as he’d slept soundly after a warm bath without a splitting headache and regrets the next day. 

It’s Monday, after all, and it’s back to work as usual. He has a few meetings to attend before flying back to Seoul, one of which is with the team. He gathers the energy to get off the bed for a half-hour exercise before getting ready. He eats the breakfast that the butler orders for him then heads to the office where he briefly meets with Lucas. 

Settled on his desk, he proceeds to virtually meet with the team, who all promptly greet him from the conference room. He asks how their weekend was, with most of them looking surprised because he rarely asks them about it, but they answer anyway. That’s when he notices that you’re not around, prompting him to look for you.

“I’m here, Mr. Jeon,” you answer off camera before appearing on screen with a candle-lit cake in your hands.

He’s surprised when the team sings him a happy birthday, your eyes fixed on him as you mouth the words with a soft smile on your face. Do-hyun giggles at his silence, saying that he probably forgot it was his birthday or he maybe didn’t expect that they’d prepare something for him. 

“We like you now, Mr. Jeon,” she teases, earning him a nudge from Chin-sun but she doesn’t seem to mind and neither does he. 

It’s what makes him laugh, hoping that the pink on his cheeks aren’t visible on screen. He hadn’t expected this. He also knows he doesn’t deserve it, but he’d bet that you had everything to do with this.

“You’ve probably been too busy to celebrate but we haven’t forgotten. More like, Ms. Cho made sure we remembered,” Manager Lee chuckles. “We hope you enjoy this little something we prepared.”

“It’s an ice cream cake so it’ll just be in your refrigerator and you can have some when you return,” you say. 

“Thank you,” he finally manages to say. “You didn’t have to but I appreciate it. I’m looking forward to having some when I get back. Ms. Cho should also buy another one big enough for the team to share.”

You nod in acknowledgment of his instruction before starting with the meeting. There’s a lot to talk about, given the Arts Center construction and activities, as well as the upcoming year-end events that they have to organize and coordinate. It goes on for over two hours and it ends with your gentle smile after he says goodbye.  

The rest of the day feels too long for Jungkook, especially during the late afternoon flight and eventual ride home. He stares at the photo you sent of the cake, making sure he sees the greeting on it. 

“Get home safely, Mr. Jeon,” you text him after he says thanks. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With the reminders of the impermanence of things and people this weekend, Jungkook finds comfort in the stability that you provide. It’s in your smile, in your reminders and organization of his life, in your thoughtfulness and patience. It’s in the assurance that tomorrow is another day, one in which he gets to see you once again.

The cake is simple but sophisticated. The mint chocolate flavor is exactly how he likes it and in ice cream cake form, it’s really delicious. He’s glad he gets to have this all for himself, as the team was able to enjoy one yesterday as per his instruction, and you’d sent a group photo of everyone enjoying it to him, the small smile that formed on his face no longer surprising him. 

For one, the comfort is there. He’s seen just how much better the team is working together because of it - they’re more open to giving him feedback and receiving his, any moment of frustration is easily mended with laughter, and his encouragement and affirmation have been motivating them as well. In the midst of it is you who makes sure that communication flows smoothly and that everything is on track, acting as the glue that keeps everyone together. 

He sees firsthand just how good you are at handling things, and how despite all the stress, you manage to get him seaweed soup and a cake for his birthday. It’s more than just the details regarding work that you’re on top of; it’s also details about his life, and how he’s responding to it tells him that maybe, whatever change there is like what Suzy observed, a big part of it is because of you.

“I’m glad you like it, Mr. Jeon,” your voice cuts through his thoughts. 

He looks up and sees you with a portfolio in hand, motioning towards the cake that’s now one fourth eaten.

“Ah, yeah,” he says, not denying it. “I feel like I haven’t had sweets in a while. Where did you buy this?”

“Oh, uh, I asked the baker who made desserts for the Arts Center event if she could make a customized ice cream cake,” you explain. “Fortunately she could. And thankfully it’s delicious. She enjoyed working with us so she gave us a discount.”

“You… had this made for me?”

He’d expected it to be store-bought, but learning you made the effort to reach out to someone reminds him once more of your thoughtfulness, of your care.

“Yes, I, uh, I just assumed you’d receive a few and I thought to give you something a little different.”

“It’s the only one I got actually,” he says, catching you off guard. Your face falls a little so he follows it up. “Like I told you, I don’t celebrate my birthday so I don’t let people know about it. And the ones who do also know that I don’t make a big deal out of it so they don’t really give me anything.”

“Oh,” you say, feeling a little sad. 

You’re not one to have big celebrations but you do have a bit of it. For your 30th birthday at the start of the year, Jimin and Soomin threw you a little party in your humble home in Daegu where they performed some of your favorite songs and enacted your favorite drama scenes to make you happy. There was no need for anything fancy - just your loved ones and your mom’s and Min-woo’s amazing cooking. 

But even before that milestone, your friends always made sure to at least get you seaweed soup and a birthday cake; they want you to remember that there are lives impacted because you were born. You can’t really say that Jungkook’s impacted your life the same way but you still value his existence; a small cake is just a little something to celebrate that. But the idea that his family and friends pass up on the cake - and perhaps the gifts, too - makes you think that there’s really not much in Jungkook��s life he feels he could share with others, that there’s not much he could give and receive in return. 

“I hope I didn’t cross a line if it’s something you don’t like people knowing,” you continue. “I just thought… it would be nice to receive something from us.”

“It actually was,” he admits, his voice soft and low. Turning away, he says, “it’s been a while since I actually thought about my birthday as anything other than ordinary. It’s nice to be reminded sometimes. So thank you, Ms. Cho. For the soup, too. I appreciate it.”

Perhaps it’s his honesty that does it, but you can’t help the smile that forms on your face. If learning how to express gratitude is something you could teach him, you already feel accomplished. 

It’s the next day when you find yourself back in Jungkook’s office, staring at the potted plant in your hands. You’ve gone from debating on whether to leave it on his desk or the coffee table, to even giving it at all. You won’t lie and say you didn’t know what you were thinking when you passed by the plant store after work last night to get this specifically for him. You did - you wanted him to feel that joy of receiving a gift, which you suppose doesn’t happen, especially for someone who can literally buy anything he wants. 

But still, it doesn’t mean that your good intention will be received well. You’ve given Hoseok a small gift every year for his birthday, partly because he likes receiving them and also because it’s your way of saying thanks. 

You want to give this to Jungkook as a form of gratitude, too. Despite how you both started, the amount of things you’ve learned from him and continue to have somehow made up for it, and you also know that he’s learning from you as well. He’s given you agency to make decisions. He’s also given you events and small projects to manage, making you realize it’s what you really enjoy doing. Seeing things come together the way you envisioned it is so satisfying. Perhaps without intending it, Jungkook’s showed you a way out, a path that you want to explore so much that you’re willing to let go of all that you know in this company for something new, for something that feels more like you. 

Your thoughts have completely digressed and with the time you took debating and reflecting, you hadn’t heard his footsteps, and so you jerk a little when he calls out your name.

Turning around, you bow in greeting, remembering at the same time that you have something that you’re not 100% sure yet you want to give right now. But as always, he calls you out on it. 

“Is that a snake plant?” He asks, walking towards his seat.

“Yes.”

“Is that the one on your desk?”

“Uh, no, actually,” you laugh dryly, knowing you can’t turn back from it now. “I… I meant to give it to you, sir. I just thought that, uh, the money tree on the shelf might be too lonely so I got you a desk plant. I heard it’s good for positive energy and to filter the air.”

“It is,” he hums. “Is that why you got yourself one?”

“I suppose. I figured it could help improve my mood. Yoongi suggested it before but I just kept pushing it back. I finally got some for my apartment last weekend,” you explain, just so he knows it didn’t come out of nowhere. 

“And you think this will improve my mood?” He arches an eyebrow. 

“Maybe,” you shrug. “We’ll probably need a dozen of them here but we could start with one.”

He matches your soft laughter with his own, which you’re thankful for. He reaches out for the plant, nonchalant like you when your fingers brush against each other. 

“Hopefully this will work,” he says as he places the small, white pot next to his desktop. 

You leave him so he could prepare for a conference call while you’re set to meet with the marketing team. Jungkook gazes at the plant and notices the little note attached to the string around the stem. 

Happy birthday, it reads. 

This wasn’t just something to match the money tree that Hoseok left for him that he hasn’t been caring for much. This was a gift for him. You probably assume that if he doesn’t receive birthday cakes, he wouldn’t be receiving gifts, either. And you’d be right. His best friends just throw him parties. And once he left Seoul to obtain his MBA in Singapore and stayed to work in their Southeast Asian headquarters, the distance between him and his parents grew. They’d reach out but he didn’t bother much, so he’d stopped expecting anything. After he broke up with Chaerin, he stopped receiving anything at all. This is the first time he’s gotten something from someone after a long time. 

It’s simple in its meaning and honest in its intention, and he doesn’t hold back the smile that forms on his face.

You watch the realization dawn on Jungkook from outside. You’d remembered the silly note you left right as you sat down and didn’t have time to take it back, which really wasn’t much, but you suppose it’s enough to tell him that the plant indeed is a gift. You don’t know if someone like him even receives them, or would even appreciate something so cheap and humble, but the gentle smile he has on tells you that he probably doesn’t get much, but that this is something he welcomes. 

Your smile follows soon after but it feels different this time. There’s pride somehow that your little gift could elicit something so rare out of him. There’s also a bit of awe; this is the softest he’s ever looked, with that tinge of gratitude and yearning, a complete contrast to what you know of him, to how you’ve always seen him. It’s… it’s actually beautiful. 

And this is when things start to get confusing, especially as your phone beeps with that SMS from him.

[From: The Boss] Thank you, ___.

It’s the non-work message. It’s the use of your name. This is personal for him and you acknowledge that it’s the same for you. Perhaps there’s a reason why you made the effort to get the gift last night, why it mattered to you that he received something to celebrate his birthday, and why seeing him appreciate it the way he does is making you giddy and satisfied at the same time. 

Maybe it’s the care you’re starting to feel for him that’s beyond just wanting to make your job bearable. You’ll dissect what that truly means later on, but right now it’s just you, him, and the glass wall in between the both of you. There’s distance, there’s a boundary, but there’s a transparent barrier that allows you to see what’s on the other side, one which allows you to know who he is behind the man you’ve come to know. And you admit, he’s not so bad after all.

The construction of the Arts Center is going better than expected. Given some of the delays due to the wrong materials delivered and some permits that took a while to get, the workers were able to make up some ground, largely due to Jungkook’s supervision. When you both visited a few weeks ago, there were many things to work on, and he managed to identify the priorities and find ways to get the project back on track. 

It was during those few days of constantly being on site that you saw how efficient and effective he really works. You admired his precision and attention to detail, how he instructed the team leads and project managers and laborers, how he put together the design of one of the rooms just as he’d envisioned it. 

He was commanding and decisive, and you appreciated his thorough and simple explanations that allowed you to keep up with him. He’s said that he wants you to understand what’s happening so that you’re well-informed should you need to communicate to others on his behalf, and what initially intimidated you turned into something you became interested in. Since then, you’ve been watching design shows to help you further. The challenge was welcomed, and now you feel like everyday, you’re learning something new on the job. 

His instructions from that time were followed, and you’re back today to inspect the rest of the spaces. Everything is so massive, and with one half of the wall of the performance hall already done, you can clearly see the upgrade. The details are impressive, and the way that the traditional designs merge with modern elements is a feature itself. 

You’re immersed in the intricacies of the ceiling, walking towards the wall to get a closer look that you don’t immediately notice the workers walking past you with a massive slab of marble. The moment that you do, you step back too quickly, tripping on your heels, and just as you brace yourself to hit the ground, you instead feel your back against a firm chest, with hands on your elbows breaking your fall.

You sigh in relief, even leaning your head back because nothing could be more embarrassing than falling on your ass in front of many people, including your boss. That is, until the familiar scent of jasmine and bergamot wafts through your nose and you realize that what you just did is debatably more embarrassing than what could’ve happened. 

The familiar clearing of the throat is what finally does it for you, and with wide eyes, you turn around and face him to apologize. 

“I’m sorry, sir. I—”

“Was so much in awe that you didn’t notice the workers passing by,” he finishes, his slightly teasing smile calming you down.

“Ah, well of course. The details are too pretty,” you reason, stepping back only a little. You look at him shyly. “But thank you. I was about to fall.”

“I know. And I was about to lose it if my assistant got injured on the job.”

“True. It’s bad publicity, I guess,” you shrug. “And distractions could cause delays. And that’s bad, too.”

“Or you know, I simply just can’t have you injured, simple as that,” he says with a little frown on his face. 

“Imagine if I didn’t see them? They could’ve dropped the marble and I would’ve completely lost it!”

“Why?” He arches an eyebrow.

“That slab is like, two months’ worth of salary, Mr. Jeon.”

“It’s actually more but that’s not the point,” he fully frowns now. “If you didn’t see them, then they could’ve hit you, and then you would be whining in pain right now. You could’ve gotten seriously hurt, ___.”

His voice is firm and low, and you nod in acknowledgment because you also know he’s right. The workers’ vision was limited but yours wasn’t; you were just too distracted and if you hadn’t pulled early enough, that marble really could’ve done damage to you. And if it wasn’t for Jungkook catching your fall, then something bad still would’ve happened to you.

“But are you okay? You didn’t twist your ankle or anything?” He asks.

“No. Uh, the heel’s just a bit loose but I’m fine,” you reply, still trying to wrap your head around how he’d said your name - informally, in this setting, as he told you that you could’ve gotten hurt. Maybe you weren’t imagining the worried tone of his voice earlier.

“Okay,” he sighs. “You have to be careful next time.”

“I will, sir,” you reply. 

You step aside and Jungkook sees you from his peripheral vision as he returns to assessing, staying put and only glancing at the ceiling unlike earlier. He’d seen you marvel at the design of the hall earlier, and while he was initially doing the same, seeing you wide-eyed and impressed caught his attention more. 

Many times, he’s seen you look dejected, frustrated, angry. He’s seen your moments of focus and joy, too, but this is the first time he’s seen you be in awe. There was this softness on your face that was still filled with emotion, and he’d been drawn to you enough to see that you were about to fall. He’s glad he has quick reflexes and was able to get to you in time, the worry he felt at the thought of you getting hurt in any way was quite overwhelming for him. And while it’s partly because you’re his responsibility in this case, he also knows it’s more than that. 

He gestures moving to another room and you follow him outside, and just as you try to stay close to him, Jungkook also makes sure you’re away from any kind of danger. He moves to your side when there are workers nearby with their heavy equipment and large materials. He shields you from the drilling. He glances at you as you both walk towards the other performance hall. And when you get there, you see the ceiling installation is ongoing, and Jungkook immediately calls for hard hats for the both of you. 

He hands you one and you put it on, fumbling with the strap underneath your chin. You groan in frustration when you’re unable to lock it, and that’s when you see him move towards you. 

“Let me,” he says.

You stop your movements and shyly nod in agreement, and he waits for you to let go before he fixes it himself. 

It’s a little odd being on the other side, since it’s always you who fixes his tie or his coat. But you’re the one watching him now, with his furrowed brows and seriousness in securing this safety gear on you making you feel warm inside.

He steps back then looks at you, trying hard to control his laughter.

“Are you laughing at me, sir?” You pout.

“No. I don’t make fun of people,” he says, turning serious now, but you don’t miss the grin on his face.

It’s unfair that he looks good even with a hard hat on.

One of the project managers calls him and he goes around, with you staying close by. This performance hall is bigger and boasts of a more traditional design, which would hold the cultural performances that the Culture Minister is very excited about. You watch Jungkook inspect the space with thoroughness, checking each wall panel and each seat. 

It’s amazing to you just how involved he is with this project even with the project managers handling things relatively well. He wants to be on top of everything, he’s said; it matters too much for him to not know what’s going on. 

You see Yoongi enter the room and approach him. Once he sees you, he laughs as well.

“Do I look that bad?” You groan. “Mr. Jeon was laughing at me, too.”

“It’s a little big, and I guess I’m just not used to seeing you in one,” Yoongi shrugs.

“Why don’t you have one?”

“I don’t need it. I’m here all the time and nothing happens.”

“Well, I’ve been here a few times and I almost fell earlier,” you say, recalling the almost-embarrassment.

“I know, I saw it,” he chuckles.

“You were there?!” You gasp.

“No, I was totally in the other room that’s why I witnessed you almost get hit by the marble then trip on yourself,” he deadpans. 

“I didn’t see you, that’s all,” you shrug. 

“I was by the doors. I checked these spaces yesterday and I just wanted to be around in case Jungkook had new instructions,” he explains. “But I gotta say, you guys were kinda cute earlier.”

“Almost falling on my ass isn’t cute, Min Yoongi,” you scowl. “I could’ve either ruined the marble slab or hurt my bum. Either way, it would’ve been embarrassing.”

“I didn’t mean just you. I meant you guys,” he gestures towards Jungkook. “He caught you, didn’t he?”

“Yes… That was embarrassing, too,” you frown. “What’s cute about that?”

“He looked worried. It’s just not something I’ve seen him be towards other people, that’s all.”

“It’s because an injured employee on site isn’t good, okay? Plus, if I’m incapable, then no one’s gonna be around to make his life easier,” you reason.

Yoongi stares at you for a while before shaking his head. “Wow, you really are dense.” 

“I don’t know what you’re on about,” you cross your arms in frustration. 

“Forget about it,” Yoongi shakes his head, deciding not to push it. 

He’ll tell you another time that he’s glad you’re becoming more of yourself again, that the light has somehow come back, that there’s now comfort you exude around the man you’d once despised. Yoongi feels assured now that there’s someone else who seems to be looking out for you, and that it’s something you don’t seem to mind at all.

“Yah! You’re being all mysterious again!” You pout, something he chuckles about. 

“Me? Mysterious? Come on. I’ve always been an open book,” he teases. 

You’re just about to nag him again when you hear Jungkook clear his throat, and you turn towards him and ask if he’s already done inspecting.

“There are still a few things I want to run by my design lead before leaving,” Jungkook says. “Please move my meeting to 3PM.”

“That’s noted, sir. I’ll give Mr. Hong’s assistant a call.”

You excuse yourself and step outside, leaving both men alone.

“Angering my assistant, are you?” Jungkook asks Yoongi, the curious yet playful tone in his voice evident.

“Nah, just teasing. That a problem?” Yoongi answers back. 

“No. It’s good she has someone she’s comfortable with at work.”

“Could be you, you know? That isn’t so bad,” Yoongi remarks, surprising him. “And it doesn’t cross whatever boundary you’re trying so hard to stay behind.”

“We’re not… on that level. I mean, I don’t know how to be someone other people are comfortable being around,” Jungkook admits.

“I don’t know about that. Seems like you’re already that for her,” Yoongi says. “I was just teasing her about how you guys looked cute earlier, when you broke her fall.”

“You were there?”

“Both of you really don’t notice other people when it’s just both of you, huh,” Yoongi laughs. “But yeah, I was. I saw her relief. And I saw you worry.”

Jungkook merely shrugs, not wanting to confirm. Even if he denies it, Yoongi will still believe what he wants to believe. But the older man knows you well just as much as he knows him. 

“You care about her, don’t you?” Yoongi responds to the silence. “And I mean not in a superficial way, or a good boss caring for his employee type of way. Like, you worry when she’s sick or overworking, when she’s hurt or in danger. You want her to always be safe, to get rest. You like having her near. You wanna know that she’s happy.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Jungkook finally answers. “I can’t think of her that way.”

“I know. That’s why you were the way you were,” Yoongi says. “How else do you respond to things you can’t control than through anger and detachment? But just because you shouldn’t, it doesn’t change the fact that you do.”

“It doesn’t change the fact that it’s wrong,” Jungkook counters.

“Well, irrationally calling her out and being angry were wrong, too, and you did those because you weren’t being honest with yourself,” Yoongi argues. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, the least you can do is be true to yourself about how you feel. Because the more you deny, then the more you resist, and when you do that, you end up hurting her. Is that what you want?”

“Of course not.”

“Then just… accept things - what you feel, what you both are, what you can or can’t be.”

Jungkook looks at his friend as if some epiphany had just transpired. It’s been difficult for him to make sense of what he feels around you. There’s always that air of familiarity, but the warmth and comfort are new. There’s the reality that you come from different worlds, but that you both somehow feel and experience and maybe desire the same things. There’s that sense of fear over change and of what he can’t control, yet you somehow provide the calm and stability that he hasn’t felt in a long time. 

It’s all these contradictions that have been messing with him, and Yoongi’s right - because of all the times that Jungkook had wanted to create that distance, all it did was hurt you. That’s the last thing he wants, he realizes now. He’s seen you struggle, and even if that’s just a fraction of what you normally go through, it’s enough to tell him that he doesn’t want you to experience that again, especially not because of him. It’s too early to say the extent of his care towards you, and it’s not something he’s willing or ready to explore right now. But just as Jungkook’s about to comfort himself that it’s fine, and that he shouldn’t dwell on it anyway so as not to further nurture it, Yoongi speaks again.

“Just… just a heads up, though,” he adds. “The care that I felt, that’s how it started for me.”

“What started?”

“Me, liking her.”

It’s at that moment when you come back from your call, and you inform Jungkook that the meeting’s been moved and that he has a scheduled one with some of the directors on Monday. 

“Alright,” he says, directing you and Yoongi towards the souvenir shop, temporarily disregarding what he was warned about.

“You two looked so serious. Everything okay?” You whisper to your friend. 

“Yeah,” Yoongi hums, giving you the most genuine smile he could give. 

There’s that sparkle and softness in your eyes that had captured him all those years ago. They dimmed throughout the years and they’ve just been sporadic, illuminating only during specific moments. He’d seen them again a lot more regularly, and even today, as you looked around the halls and admired the designs of the space. 

Yoongi doesn’t know if a certain person is the reason for that. He knows you enough that you wouldn’t even notice it, so you definitely wouldn’t know what caused the change. But as your friend, he hopes one day you will, so that if you’re brave enough, too, you’d try to make sure that the light stays. 

The inspection ends and you get back to the office at 4. You return to piles of documents you have to sift through and encode, and your original plan of leaving on time changes. 

Jungkook spends over an hour talking with Yoongi and the construction lead about the Arts Center, and once that’s over, you see just how exhausted he is. He’s massaging his temples and sighing deeply, and you know that whatever just transpired, he’s going to be thinking about it all throughout the weekend, which he doesn’t really have time for. The gala that one of the Board members throws annually is tomorrow night, an event you’ll be attending with him as well. 

You enter his room to remind him about it and to give some forms for his signature. He signs them off, and when you say you’ve got a few more requests that you’ll leave on his desk for Monday, he tells you to just wait until then.

“Go home, Ms. Cho,” he says. “It’s been a long week. And it won’t end until after tomorrow night.”

“What about you, Mr. Jeon?”

“I’ve got some stuff to sort through after inspection. I’ll probably leave in an hour or so.”

You frown, a mannerism of yours that he’s gotten used to seeing. It’s mixed with a pout that often makes him internally laugh because it seems unlike you. It also always means there’s something you want to say that you’re holding back.

“Should I not?” He arches an eyebrow.

“Hmm. Just thinking that it might be better for you to take a rest tonight, too,” you advise. “The gala could be quite draining and it would be good to save your energy for that.”

“I’ll think about it,” he hums.

“Then I’ll think about going home, too,” you answer back. 

Jungkook chuckles, knowing you’re always going to counter him in some way. And he’s glad that you do.

“You may go. And get a good rest, too.”

You nod and bid him goodbye, exiting the room to start packing your things. It’s five minutes later when the door opens and you see him with his bag, ready to head home as well.

You smile at his tender doe-eyes as he admits through them that you were right - he doesn’t have a reason to stay behind, so he’ll call it a night and get as much rest as he can.��

He pauses by the entryway, and you pick up that he’s waiting for you, perhaps to make sure that you’re indeed going home. You quicken your pace and walk next to him, steps in pace as you both go to the elevator and down to the lobby. 

“Mr. Ri can bring you home after me,” Jungkook says. “It’s late already.”

“Not late enough,” you reply. “I’m okay, Mr. Jeon. It’s not necessary.”

He concedes, and you wait for the car to arrive and say goodbye to him again. 

There’s a softness on his face as he lingers before he enters. A small smile forms, and it’s what you see until you fall asleep that night. It’s the same one that’s oddly been giving you comfort lately - it’s a little restrained but somehow it still looks vulnerable. Perhaps it represents how Jungkook’s been to you - there are some contradictions, but beyond all that, there’s care.

Mr. Ri happily greets you as you enter the car that late Saturday afternoon to head to Jungkook’s penthouse. He compliments your dress, saying it’s nice to see you in something formal that fits your style - it’s simple yet elegant, and you tell him that your mother wouldn’t stop gushing over you through the screen, nagging you to send full-body photos so she could appreciate you more.

Jimin and Soomin surprised you in the morning to help you fix up, insisting that they wanted to make sure you spoiled yourself for the event. If you wouldn’t, they would, so they treated you to the hair salon and had your nails done. They’re the ones who took so many photos like some formal dance, and Jimin commented that the only downside was that they were sending you off to pick up Jungkook. 

Defending your boss the way you did surprised you a little; it surprised them a lot more. You’d said that he bought you the dress, that he’s been nothing but kind, and that whatever negative feelings you had towards him are all in the past. Your friends understood, deciding not to ruin your night and then letting you go so they could eat out and meet you back at your apartment once you’re done. 

You chat with Mr. Ri about how things have been at work, your friends, and your family. You also talk about the gala and how it feels a little nerve-racking attending this time, given your experience with Jungkook. 

It’s a grand event that the company’s executives attend, and guests are asked to refrain from going solo. For such requests, it’s not unusual for them to bring their assistants. You’re expected to attend anyway, and assistants usually partner up with each other and it always worked. You went with Hoseok last year because A-yeong had a work event, and while you expected that Jungkook wouldn’t care for such request and maintain that he’d go by himself, you also didn’t think that CEO Jeon would insist that his son take you as his date so he wouldn’t be alone. 

The elder Jeon had reasoned that business discussions usually take place during the gala, and it would be good for you to be around and be familiar with the new people on the scene. Hoseok had said that they’re expected to stay through the whole thing, and it’s much better for his cousin to have a companion so he could survive the night. That was months ago when things were still a little shaky for you both. You still remember Jungkook’s displeased look when it seemed like he had no choice in the matter, especially since he probably thought that his father just wanted to make sure he’d act accordingly. It feels like a lifetime ago, really, as you think about his soft smile from last night. 

You don’t know exactly what you’re feeling, why his gestures or mannerisms suddenly mean something to you, or why there’s excitement when you think about seeing him outside of work. You’re unsure why the curve of his lips when he grins or the deep huff that follows his laugh makes you a little giddy, or why his eyes lingering on you makes your heart beat a little faster than usual.  

Just like right now, as they gaze at you while you seemingly do the same. 

“You look, uh—” he starts, unable to find the accurate but appropriate term to describe how you look. 

“Nice?” You finish, recalling the term he’d used when you tried this gown for the first time. 

“Something like that,” he chuckles, earning him a giggle from you.

He playfully shakes his head, perhaps knowing that you’re used to him not making grand compliments or anything. But he does smile after, and there goes that blissful feeling again. 

Maybe it’s because for the first time, you’re being appreciated. Maybe just like how it’s been recently, he likes being around you, prefers it, even. And given how you felt so unwanted during his first few weeks here, this is a blessing, as if in his appreciation of you, you’re liking yourself as well.

“Well, in my opinion, you look quite dashing, Mr. Jeon,” you say bravely. “Except your waistcoat seems to be uneven.”

“Exactly what I thought,” he sighs. “I can’t quite align it properly.”

And as you always do, you approach him, your hands immediately going towards his shoulders to flatten the vest, then his sides to pull it down. You adjust it a little bit more then fix his collar after, and suddenly this feels so natural - being close to him, taking in his scent, and smiling as he glances at you. 

“Do you need help with your coat?” You ask once you finish.  

He nods and you follow him to his walk-in closet where you take the last piece of clothing and assist him in wearing it. He adjusts the lapels while you assess if all wrinkles have been flattened. You watch him look at himself in the mirror and you can’t help but admire him as well. He exudes confidence, which you can say now is strikingly different from the Appointment Dinner where he still looked a bit unsure. But now, he commands respect. The deep black color of his striped three-piece ensemble with his slick hair parted in the middle makes him even more handsome, and you manage to hold in the gasp you were about to release as he faces you for a final look.

“All good?” He asks. 

“All good,” you smile, turning around and walking back to the living room. 

He follows, and he takes this time to bask in your beauty before he has to act like it doesn’t affect him again.

There’s a reason why he was rendered speechless the first time he saw you in this gown at the tailor shop, so much so that he had to step out to get some air. You look even more stunning now, with your classic but natural-looking makeup and your styled hair. You exude a certain kind of glow that sucks him in, that makes his heart race yet soothes him just the same. 

It’s a little dangerous for him, given that he’ll be spending this entire evening with you as his date, looking the way you do while he has to act disinterested, as if his attraction isn’t slapping him in the face and his internal alarm bells aren’t ringing.

But he has to act professional. He has to stay behind the lines even if his mind is yelling all the words about your beauty that he has to ignore. So he gives himself this short moment where he gets to admire you, and when you make it to the elevator and become confined in a small space, he holds his breath as you smile at him shyly, hoping that he doesn’t give himself away. 

He’ll get himself together, he orders to himself, and he’ll make sure he doesn’t scare you off. 

You make it to the lobby and enter the car. The drive to the venue is quiet at the beginning. It’s technically not a work day so there’s no reason to discuss work. You and Jungkook may have started talking about non-work matters but it doesn’t mean you readily talk about actual personal things. They’re occasional, as it’s not something he seems to do much and you’re often guarded about yours. It took a while for you to open up to Yoongi and even then, there are many things he doesn’t know. You’re comfortable around him, there’s no denying that, but there are still parts of you that you don’t like to share with others, and you suppose that Jungkook is the same.

But still, you ask how his evening was and how his day went, expecting he’d give a basic answer.

“I just stayed home last night and watched soccer over drinks,” he says. “Then I did my workout and went for a swim this morning. I did a bit of work in the afternoon and then got ready.”

“Ah, no party last night and then recovering from it in the morning?” You tease, knowing that’s a usual occurrence for him. Lucas did mention about the Singapore trip and how he’d taken home a passed out Jungkook on the night of his birthday. 

“Well, there was a party,” he responds. “There always is, but I passed up on it. I didn’t want to feel out of sorts tonight. There’ll be a lot of new faces and I don’t wanna mess up.”

“Oh, you won’t. You’ve been doing really well, Mr. Jeon. And that’s me being honest.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” He arches an eyebrow. “Would you tell me otherwise?” 

“Well, the me of now, would. The me of a few months ago would want to but wouldn’t.” 

Jungkook dwells on your answer. “Hmm. What changed, then?”

“I got used to you.” 

He meets your gaze and somehow it feels too long. You don’t really know what prompted you to say it but you felt a little bold, a little too honest.

“In what sense?” he wonders, turning away now.

“I’d say I got used to the mood swings but then again, they haven’t been intense compared to those first few weeks,” you admit. “But surprisingly, it’s the calmness I’ve become accustomed to. And the seriousness and occasional zoning out, but also, the…”

Care, you want to say. Or the thoughtfulness. 

“Consideration,” you say instead. 

Jungkook’s throat dries up as he finds the words to say. He’s now afraid to look at you because he might give in and say something he’ll regret. He’s been praised before for his work and his designs, but he supposes that no one’s really complimented him for something he does for other people, specifically for you. Maybe that’s why he thinks he doesn’t deserve it; he’s unsure if he’s really considerate by nature or if he just is towards you. It’s why he brushes it off, insisting he just has his moments.

“But those moments could mean a lot to the one it’s shared with or directed to,” you counter. “Even if it was just once. Or even if it was so trivial that you probably forgot already. But the other person doesn’t. Or they would, but something about that moment stays.”

Jungkook thinks about the moments you’d shown him consideration. Or even care or thoughtfulness, but he wouldn’t word it that way to you. There are the big ones - when you showed your support of the Arts Center to his father, when you calmed him down during that first Board meeting, when you gave him the noodles when he was sick, when you stayed with him during his interview with the magazine publications.

When you stood up to him. When you didn’t quit after that first week.

There are also the small moments - the ginger and lemon tea on Monday mornings when he looks like he’d drank too much the night before, the biscuits you serve with his coffee, the affirming looks during team meetings, the comforting smiles from outside his office when he’s stressed. 

There’s a lot of those you show him, and he realizes now that he remembers each one. 

The silence returns soon after, as you both seem to prefer basking in the soft music that Mr. Ri plays. 

It’s 15 minutes later when you arrive at the venue. You get out of the car and meet Jungkook by his door, surprised when he offers his arm that you take. 

“This is how they do it, right?” He looks at you questioningly.

“Yes,” you chuckle. “It’s a little over-the-top but the hosts treat this like it’s some red carpet event and I just follow what the others do. Bitna says it’s the one time we could feel like proper ladies or something, whatever that means.”

“Hmm, makes sense. I guess I’ll be a proper gentleman, then. Whatever that means.” 

You hold onto him lightly as you both make your way inside. You try to disregard the firmness of his arm and the way it feels under your touch, so you gently let go not long after and clutch onto your purse instead, not wanting to give off the idea that you’re anything more than each other’s dates. You greet the guests and establish your position to those who are unaware in an effort to show that this social event is a work function as well. 

Jungkook talks about the Arts Center when he can, and you mentally take note of certain projects, sites, events, artists, and patrons that are mentioned, quickly typing them on your phone for future reference. He talks to you about them in between flutes of champagne and canapes that are some of the most delicious you’ve ever had.

Jungkook laughs as you down another brie and cranberry bruschetta.

“What? I like fancy food,” you pout.

“Yes, your normal people’s taste buds like fancy food,” he teases. 

It’s a statement you make often and you smile that he now uses it against you.

Your moments of casual ignorance of what’s going on around you are ones you find yourself enjoying too much. You internally sigh every time a guest approaches him, and even more so when you find yourself with a few others and someone stands a little too close, or has his hand linger on your elbow, or whispers something in your ear as if you’re at a bar and the music is too loud, which it isn’t, so there’s really no reason for this son of some business tycoon to be asking you to head outside “to talk.”

“Don’t you have a date?” You ask after he insists. 

“Yeah, some girl,” he shrugs. “She’s kinda boring. Lucky I found you.”

You awkwardly smile, knowing it’s not your place to reject him and make a scene. He looks to be the type who always gets his way and if he doesn’t this time, you’re afraid of how he might take it. 

You don’t budge and call for another flute of champagne instead, finishing it in one gulp that has the man releasing a deep breath in front of you.

“So you’ve been working for the Jeon’s for 8 years, you say?” He speaks again.

You nod, looking around to avoid his eyes.

“That’s quite a long time, yeah? I’m sure I can get you a spot at my company,” he brags. “I mean, we sell luxury cars. That’s way more interesting than buildings and shit.”

“I don’t drive,” you say too quickly. “I mean, I don’t know how to.”

“Perfect. I can teach you then,” he smirks. 

It’s the look that heightens your level of discomfort, and just as you’re about to make some excuse and run away, Jungkook calls your name that has you immediately turning towards him.

“Yes, Mr. Jeon?”

He’s not too far away; he comes closer yet still maintains a bit of a distance. 

“Hoseok’s asking for me but I want to speak to Mr. Saito before he leaves. Can you go to my cousin on my behalf?”

“Of course,” you say, excusing yourself and scurrying away from the scene, sighing in relief at the sight of a familiar pair of faces.

A-yeong gives you a hug and you return it, then you turn to Hoseok and ask what he needs Jungkook for.

“Nothing,” he says. “I didn’t call for him.”

“Oh, okay. Well, he said you did.”

“I haven’t spoken to him since we got here,” Hoseok replies. “You know how this gala goes. So many people to meet. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just… uh. Well, I just met Mr. Kwon’s son. And let’s just say, I don’t want that to happen again.”

“Oh, ___,” A-yeong sighs, knowing exactly what you mean. “Just stay with us. Or don’t leave Jungkook’s side.” Turning towards the man who’d just arrived, she adds, “stay close to her, okay?”

Jungkook looks at you, his eyes asking a question that you know the answer to but neither of you says anything. 

“I will,” he nods. 

Both of you stay where you are for a while before heading back to your seats for the sit-down dinner. You converse with those at your table, thankful that they’re all decent and entertaining. After that, Jungkook doesn’t leave your side. It almost seems like he’s your date rather than the other way around, but you appreciate his presence, especially when he calls your attention once you start looking uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry,” you sigh. “I just… I just get a little uneasy when people I don’t know get too close.”

“I understand. I’m the same,” he says, prompting you to look at him. “But I just feel uncomfortable, not unsafe. There’s a difference. And it’s not okay if that’s how they make you feel.”

He knew without you saying the words. It takes you back to that night at the restaurant with Hajoon and how Jungkook had looked the most guilty he’d ever been when you said that his staring made you feel uncomfortable. You supposed then that it was mostly because he thought he was causing a rift between you and Hajoon but you realize now that it was more than that. For all that Jungkook is, you’ve come to see that there are things he can’t stand himself doing; deliberately making you feel unsafe is definitely one of them. Perhaps it’s why at this moment, you feel the exact opposite being around him. 

And that’s how the rest of the night goes. He stays close but when he’s caught up in a conversation he can’t get out of, he gives you that look to remind you that it’s okay to step away, that you have the ability to remove yourself from a situation you don’t feel good being in. And you do, and the worry you used to have about being a mere assistant fades away. You never thought that one Jeon Jungkook would give you the permission to do that.

You’re seated on a chair some time later, the hours of walking in your high heels taking its toll on you. You wave to Hoseok and A-yeong, no longer having the energy to walk up to them for a proper goodbye. You sigh to yourself, feeling the tiredness slowly overtake you. It was still a good night, but it took a lot of energy from you, too. 

“Hey,” you hear Jungkook call out. 

You turn to him, still looking handsome as he stands nearby, his hands in his pockets as he mirrors your exhaustion.

“Ready to head home?” He asks.

“Yes,” you say too quickly, earning you a laugh. 

You stand up, limping only a tiny bit, but you think Jungkook notices, as he offers his arm just like he did at the start of the night.

“This is what a proper gentleman does, right?” He asks. 

“I suppose. Although I might say, Mr. Jeon, that’s what you were the entire time. So thank you.”

Jungkook nods in response, unsure how to receive your gratitude. He knows what you mean, as the first sign of your discomfort had him looking at you constantly. He was worried all night but he supposes there’s no reason to feel that way now, as your faint smile just signifies that you’re tired more than anything. 

For the short moment it takes for you to walk closer to him, he basks in your beauty once more. The night will be over soon, and he’s glad he could give you some reprieve this time. He tries not to lose it when you tighten your grip on his arm for support though, but that’s something he can think about later on. 

The walk to the car isn’t that long and you let go of him eventually. You head towards the other door then enter, the space in between reminding him of where you both belong - on either side of a line, one that he shouldn’t think of crossing.

You sink into your seat, fighting the urge to curl your body and take a nap, so you sit up straight and hold yourself together after once again feeling Jungkook’s arm under your touch. Most of the alcohol has left your system but perhaps not enough, as you boldly look at him and smile in appreciation. He returns it, perhaps knowing why you are.

You look out the window, appreciating Seoul’s night sky, until the vision starts getting unclear, as the rain falls steadily on the window. The tapping of the droplets on the glass is a sound you’ve come to appreciate, among other things that you used to be terrified of. 

There’s just this calmness, as if the rain is greeting you, accompanying you in your thoughts. But the sound of the radio getting louder disrupts that a little bit, and in looking at Mr. Ri in question only to find him glancing at the rearview mirror to see the man next to you, do you realize why he’s doing so.

Jungkook’s demeanor has changed, a complete 180 to how he looked not long ago when he seemed satisfied, fulfilled, almost proud of himself for surviving the night. He’s now cross-legged and cross-armed, with his eyes closed and jaws clenched, as if he’s trying to hold himself together. Or trying his best to drown out the sound of the rain, the way Mr. Ri is trying to do for him.

Your face falls at the sight. You’ve seen Jungkook stressed and angry and disappointed; you’ve seen him anxious, too, but this is different. There’s a bit of fear in there, and with the way he flinches and how he’s clutching onto his arms, you know this comes from somewhere and this was caused by something. If it’s anything similar to what you know, then this was because of something painful.

You want to reach out to him but you know you shouldn’t. You helplessly look back on the road then glance at Jungkook every few seconds as the rain continues. It doesn’t seem like it will be a terrible downpour but it’s stronger than usual. 

You try to remember instances in the past where he’d acted this way. A few come to mind, and you think now there’s a reason why he becomes uneasy when it starts to drizzle. That happened the other week while you were on a site visit with him for a small project, but you hadn’t thought much of it, given that he was on his fourth cup of coffee on the way there. 

But right now, you wish there was something more you could do; anything is better than nothing. But you feel constrained - by the distance, by your position, by his boundaries that seem to always be there.

By some miracle, the rain weakens, and it’s stopped by the time you arrive at Jungkook’s apartment building. The car halts and with him still in the same position, you think he probably doesn’t realize he’s home. 

“Mr. Jeon,” you say softly, gently tapping his arm to get his attention. “We’ve reached your place. And the rain has stopped. It’s… it’s okay to open your eyes now.”

It takes a few seconds but he takes a deep breath, opens his eyes, then looks around. It’s just droplets frozen in time on his window and he sighs in relief. Somehow the assurance that he’s okay means something to you this time; you hate to think of what burden he carries that he hides away.

He opens the door, and there’s a bit of disappointment you feel when he closes it and leaves without a goodbye. You suppose he just wants to get to his place immediately and rush to safety. But you don’t want to intrude, not if distance is what he needs, so  you settle with just watching him walk away. 

But then he turns around, and with that bit of boldness left in your body, you open the window and give him another smile. You wish he feels the tenderness in it; you wish somehow it’s enough to let him know that you understand, and that he’s not alone. 

“Good night,” you manage to say, and he hears it despite the distance.

“Good night, ___. And thank you.”

It’s the use of your name. It’s the softness of his smile and the words of gratitude. It’s the way he lingers as the car starts to drive away and you’re left watching him even from afar. 

It lets you know that he knows. And it’s the reason why you sleep soundly that night and why for the first time since you’ve met him, you can’t wait to see him again. 

Series Masterlist

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#jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x oc #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook series #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #boss jungkook

[ayumitsuu]

[ FE4 Character Impressions 8 - yep, still crying ]

Went with darker background for these because I’m a sucker for high contrast.

- I actually like Iucharba (Yohalva) a lot more than I was expecting (axe users get shafted in FE4 tho, and he doesn’t get sick stat growths like the other babies u_u)

- Iuchar (Yohan) seemed like an OK human being (didn’t deserve to be k-worded). His waxing poetic and death quote about loving Larcei forever was supposed to be romantic I think but it just kinda weirded me out. Sucks that you have to k-word the one you don’t recruit. Can’t it just be one of those either/or choices? :[

- imagine naming your kids: Iucharba, Iuchar, and… Brian 🤪 I can’t tell if they gave up after Brian or from the very start

- Julius x Ishtar’s story breaks my heart 😭💔 Juju didn’t do anything wrong… he was just born the “wrong” twin 💔 Ishtar took me on an emotional rollercoaster, which ended with my heart breaking for her (and Julius), what a tragedy… I just want them to be happy 🥲

📣 FINN FOR THE WINN 📣

- Finn? I think you mean, FINE 😩💦

- In all seriousness though, Finn is the hero of this story. Without him, there is no MC for Thracia 776, jus sayin’ :T Also, royal blue hair? Obviously a descendant of the Hero King 👑

- I was SO glad to see that someone survived the Valhalla BBQ. After that, my first thought about Gen 2 Lewyn was, “dayum, he got hotter???” 😳🥵💦 If wind mage, why hot? 🔥 🤔 (not complainin tho ;’D)

SHANNAN OIFEY

- I cannot… I love them so much. Also, (putting the YUM in) DAYUMMMMM x2 😳😳😳 💗 FINE-ness aside I’m so so proud of them 😭💓💞💗 *sniffle* They did so well… 😭😭😭💗💞💗💓💕💞💓💘💖💖

#fe4 #fire emblem #geneology of the holy war #first playthrough #first impressions #ayu plays fe4 #ayu draws fe4 #character impressions #character thoughts #brain worms #favorite characters #iurcharba #yohalva #yohan #julius #fe4 julius #ishtar #fe4 ishtar #finn #lewyn #levin #shannan #oifey #YOU DID SO WELL #SIGURD AND DEIRDRE WOULD BE SO PROUD #I LOVE YOU #feh #iuchar #fe heroes

[yohangaontdj]

The Devil Judge Rewatch Ep 3 (Part 1)

This episode is the one that have me falling hard for Yohan x Gaon. And I have so many screenshots for this episode that it had taken me a while to organise it all.

And this episode which is titled A Quiet Mansion. It should have, in my opinion, be titled The Many Faces of Kang Yohan. Cause there were so many different aspects of him in just one episode, I have to devote the first part of my post solely to him.

The Opening Scene

Here we have Kang Yohan being cool and frankly, a tad too dressed up for someone who's at home. That black suit and red scarf of his.

Then we get to see him interacting with Elijah for the first time, and being so different from his public image as a judge. Quite childish cute in a way as he reacted to Elijah's remarks.

Then the moment when Gaon was awake, going back to being suave and cool again. And I'm just so tickled by it.

Press Conference Scene

Here we get to see Kang Yohan being confidence and business-like as he dealt with the press.

And there is his Harry-Potter-like scar and fake hand injury. Not at all aware that he will indeed get a real hand injury - his left - towards the end of the drama.

Encountering Soohyun Scene

Gosh, I just couldn't stop smiling at how Yohan was just like a jealous boyfriend as he questioned her.

And I don't believe, not one bit, that he didn't know who Soohyun was and what kind of relationship Gaon has with her. He did a background check on Gaon, so I'm sure he will already know everything.

Undressing Gaon Scene

This one! Gosh, you have no idea how many times I repeat it to watch again and again. Its just hot and hot and hot!

The Elijah Questioning Scene

This is my absolute favourite other than the Gaon undressing scene. And I love love this cause on this re-watch, I realise that Yohan already knew Elijah was dying to question him. Cause as he walked past her to put the medical stuff down. She had been eyeing him. And there was this scene when he had tightened the tie around his robe, looking like he was bracing himself for what is to come.

Then all his cute and comical expression afterwards. And my suspicion is that Yohan expected to be questioned about Gaon and not about his love life.

And the moment that Elijah finally mentioned Gaon. Look at how he had smiled like - 'Ah, I knew that was coming'.

And him talking to the cat and then sighing in the end. He's like, 'I'm glad I got through a difficult task'. And my feeling is that he didn't like the words he had spoken to Elijah. There maybe no ill intention behind them but they weren't nice either.

The Walking Into An Empty Office Scene

I hadn't thought much of it until this re-watch and it just struck me that it was like Yohan was saying his goodbye. Cause he knew in the end, he will destroy everything that had to do with courts. And walk out without taking anything with him.

The 'Are You Doing It Because of Kim Gaon' Scene

Here I can only gush over how beautiful Kang Yohan look. Like a sculpture. His injury making him even more mesmerising.

And the way he couldn't quite look K in the eye. It just goes to show how Gaon isn't just merely someone working for him. He has a place in his heart.

More to come in Part 2, and I'm not done with Yohan yet. Couldn't continue on cause had reached the limit for number of pics I can post.

#the devil judge #the devil judge rewatch #gahan #kang yohan x kim gaon #lawful husbands #yohan x gaon #i just love love them and i want to rave about them. #And Ep3 holds a special place in my heart. #Cause it made me fall for Gahan. #And so much more to discuss.

[kpoptimeout]

K-Pop Debuts and Comebacks for the 4th Week of September (Sep 18-Sep 24 2023)

Sep 18

D.O. - Somebody

EXO's D.O. is back solo in this warm ballad!

Sep 19

EVNNE - TROUBLE

Popular BOYS' PLANET contestants debut as EVNNE in this powerful MV and track!

nochexintoma - Drop

Rapper nochexintoma goes hard in this vibey piece.

Sep 20

TEMPEST - Vroom Vroom

Underrated boy band TEMPEST is back with attitude and power through this catchy track!

Sep 21

FANTASY BOYS - NEW TOMORROW

Winners of MBC's FANTASY BOYS debut in this bright song and flashy MV!

Im Siwan X Winter - Win For You

ZE:A's Siwan sings again in the theme song for World Table Tennis Championships at Busan with aespa's Winter!

Sep 22

GEMINI - Attention ft. DAWN and BLASÉ

AT AREA's male artists collab in this smooth and sexy performance!

Kim Yohan x CHEEZE - Blue in You

WEi's Yohan duets with popular indie singer CHEEZE in this sweet track!

VCHA - Y.O.Universe

JYP x Republic Records' collaboration global girl group VHCA drops their pre-debut track after 22 episodes of "A2K"!

Sep 23

imjohan - broken records

Indie artist imjohan drops a mesmerising performance in this laid back piece.

Sep 24

No releases.

What is your favourite track of the week?

#d.o. #d.o. somebody #evnne #evnne trouble #nochexintoma #nochexintoma drop #tempest #tempest vroom vroom #fantasy boys #fantasy boys new tomorrow #im siwan #winter #win for you #gemini #gemini attention #dawn #blasé #kim yohan #cheeze #blue in you #vcha #vcha y.o.universe #imjohan #imjohan broken records #kpop #k-pop #kpop debut #k-pop debut #kpop comeback #k-pop comeback

[gosiksmallspace]

Shipper Tag Game

Thank you @godotismissingx for the tag! ❤️❤️❤️

Sorry that it took so much time 😅

Okay let's go!

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

There were some k-pop ships I used to ship but as time went by I just stopped. Maybe because I’m not as much into k-pop as I used to be.

I also don’t ship any of Hetalia’s characters anymore.

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Stella and Brandon from Winx Club or Kevin and Gewn from Ben 10: Alien Force. That was even before I was aware of what shipping was.

While I was aware, I think it was Shizaya? Durarara was one of the first animes I watched. And Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Izaya's love-hate relationship was so good for a 12-year-old me.

Or it could be SasuNaru…

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Written it was Merciless. 

But read? That was so long time ago...

I remember I found some Ben 10 stories on the Internet and I read a lot of them as a kid.

But when I read and I was aware I was reading fanfics it was most likely SasuNaru or Darry. It was most likely still on Wattpad or fanfiction.net. On or those self-publishing blogs. Those were popular back then.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

Probably SasuNaru. Or another ship that was popular at the beginning of the 2010s.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

I try not to. I mostly believe that fiction is fiction and when I don't like something I just don't read it.

I like to read people's points of view though.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Not really. I used to hate UkFrance from Hetalia but now I just don't care. And I never really shipped Destiel. But I'm not sure I would call them a no-otp.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

A new chapter of Merciless fic that I'm always waiting for was published. It's called Hidsight by duty_free. AND IT'S AWESOME, GO READ IT. It's a wonderful continuation to The Merciless that can actually fix those two morons (I have hope, it's still ongoing)

Before it, my friend @frayed-at-the-seams published her fic about Junho and Hoyeol from D.P. It's called Dogs and Cats. It's an interesting supernatural spin on the original story and it allows Junho and Hoyeol to be cute ❤️

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

Of course. My absolute favorite obsession is Han Jaeho x Jo Hyunsoo from The Merciless

But there is more:

Roronora Zoro x Sanji (Zosan) from One Piece

Sakata Gintoki x Hijikata Toshirou (GinHiji) from Gintama

Shizuo Heiwajima x Orihara Izaya (Shizaya) from Durarara!!

Oga Tatsumi x Furuichi Takayuki (OgaFuru) from Beelzebub

Lee Dongsik x Han Juwon from Beyond Evil

Kang Yohan x Kim Gaon (GaHan) from Devil Judge

An Junho x Han Hoyeol from D.P.

Miyuki Kazuya x Sawamura Eijun (MiyuSawa) from Ace of Diamond 

James T. Kirk x Spock from Star Trek 

Merlin x Arthur Pendragon from BBC Merlin

James Bond x Q (00Q) from James Bond movies

Harry Hart x Gary "Eggsy" Unwin from Kingsman movies

Tony Stark aka Iron Man x Steve Rogers aka Captain America from Marvel Comics (comics only.)

Peter Parker aka Spiderman and Wade Wilson aka Deadpool from the Marvel Comics

Loid Forger x Yor Forger from SPY X FAMILY

Hino Eiji x Akhn (EiAn) from Kamen Rider OOO

Shijima Go x Chase from Kamen Rider Drive

Kiryu Sento x Banjo Ryuga from Kamen Rider Build

and many many more

Also as an exception to my k-pop rule, I still ship ChanBaek from EXO.

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Robin and Barney from How I Met Your Mother. I get that it was planned from the beginning for Ted to end up with Robin but did they have to make Robin and Barney so good???

Also, Merthur, like they had a whole story about them? All 5 seasons?

And Sterek. 

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

Zeke x Levi from Shingeki no Kyojin. I used to not be much into it but there is an amazing reincarnation comic AU on twitter (here) with them and I have to say that they have a potential.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be canceled over?

Not sure... There were some ships that I wasn't aware of age. I don't mind ships with big age differences but I like for both parties to be over 18.

So maybe as an example Levi x Eren? Eren was 15 and now looking back I'm not sure if I would ship it. 

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

Tried to think of something but my head is empty. I don't believe I don't have any crack ships!

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

Shizaya, GinHiji or ChanBaek. They have big fandoms so I could just move from one fic to another. 

Also YoonMin. I used to ship them a lot but now not really but I read a lot of fics with them.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

They usually banter or tease each other. Those love-hate relationships are my favorites. And more of them lately have an age difference.

15. What you absolutely hate in a ship?

Lack of chemistry? I hate too much drama but also don't like where everything is fine. And cheating.

tagging (no preassure): @daxianme @yardmargs @frayed-at-the-seams @bobafvcks @babischlong-six @stanaclown @igonecrazy @chhagiya @lovemevermore @ilikeallthepenguins @manproposes-goddisposes @backtomanyang @inashoe @darktecno @areththeimagine and everyone who wants :)

#tag games #tag #game #tag game #shipper tag game #shipping #ships #fandom

[miniaturemoonheart]

Cha Eun Woo's captivating performance as Priest John in 'Island' leaves viewers speechless

Cha Eun Woo left Korean and international audiences speechless with his incredible acting in 'Island's finale.

On January 13, 'Island' aired its final two episodes for season 1, and the highlight of the finale was Cha Eun Woo's heartwrenching acting as Priest John/Yohan.

The main focus of episodes 5 & 6 was the sad tale of two brothers who found each other after ages only to lose each other again. The emotions were running high in the season finale, and people were left crying to see Priest John's desperation and heartbreak. Cha Eun Woo's acting as a desperate, broken man trying to save his loved one and his tears were well-received by Knetz as well as the international audience.

Here is what Knetz said on the Korean forum about Cha Eun Woo's acting and crying scenes in Island:

Whenever Cha Eunwoo cried, I thought my heart would break

I can really see the acting here... Eunwoo is amazing. You really have everything.

Cha Eun-Woo's acting has improved a lot. He seems to have failed to shine in realistic acting because of his unrealistic appearance. I think it's the power of acting + the face that doesn't look awkward at all in that scene. It was convincing

The acting improved a lot in Island. Episode 6 was pretty good. Everyone, please watch Island, the acting is good

I cried while watching episode 6 because of Yohan's narrative.

Eunwoo also cried well during Gangnam Beauty hahaha

The acting was really good, the exorcism scene was also good

I only saw Yohan, not Eunwoo especially when I saw Yohan crying

Wow, you've gotten so much better at using facial expressions.

In the sixth episode of Ireland, Eunwoo is really good

I want to hug you.

It's a face full of narrative...It's beautiful.

I cried while watching episode 6 because of Yohan's narrative

I've never seen him act before. He's really good in Island.

He was great in both Decibel and Island

[Source]

Not only Knetz even International fans are going gaga over Priest John. Cha Eun Woo's sword-pulling pose as Yohan is trending in Tiktok, but it is his crying scenes in episode 6 that made fans teary and emotional.

The twisted fate of Yohan and his brother.😭💔

mykngilstory

This scene broke me into million pieces 💔

ISLAND S1 FINALE X CHA EUNWOO

bieunu

The brothers that we couldn't protect.. poor yohan and chan hee 😢💔

eunwoo__cnunu

can we have a moment and talk about how intense and heartbreaking this scene was? eunwoo's acting is so unmatched and he's just getting better and better 🙌 can hear baeksang awards ringing for him this year now

loevpmh

I’ll say it again,

kaykdramanotes

아일랜드 6화 강력 추천

사유 ⬇️

1. 슬픈 눈을 하고 있는 차은우

2. 형 흉터 보고 우는 차은우

3. 빵실빵실 해맑에 웃는 차은우

4. 미호한테 반존대하는 차은우

5. 형한테 앵기는 차은우

6. 무릎끓고 도와달라고 우는 차은우

7. 이탈리어 하면서 구마하고 우는 차은우

8. 형 죽이고 우는 차은우

— # (@Idmcew)

Idmcew

아일랜드 6화 후기

차은우 얼굴 연기 피지컬 목소리 뭐 하나 미치지 않은 부분이 없다

— 과식 (@dramachef)

dramachef

Damnnn the ending of S1 🔥

I literally got goosebumps when Yohan stabbed his brother 😭😭

And Eunwoo's acting omggg!!! His acting made that scene even more sadder 💔

Our poor Yohan baby..

Seunggimylove

YOHAN!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

My gosh Eunwoo! You are so good!!!! I swear he keeps getting better. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

ISLAND S1 FINALE X CHA EUNWOO

kaykdramanotes

되돌릴 수 있어. 내가 방법을 찾아볼게

나 형 꼭 되돌릴거야

Yeowoo_byul2



Island Season 2 will premiere on Amazon Prime on February 24. Meanwhile, Cha Eun Woo is busy shooting for his upcoming drama, 'A Good Day To Be a Dog.'

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xPaulettex

xPaulettex Allkill VIP 2,943 pts

Saturday, January 14, 2023

His acting in this drama was outstanding. I was in tears 😭

10 (+10 / -0)

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idgafily

idgafily4,885 pts

Saturday, January 14, 2023

So true! I knew there's bound to be news about his leveled up acting. He was effective in his role. I enjoyed this drama, mainly because of Cha Eunwoo. Let it be said, that Cha Eunwoo,the actor, has arrived.

8 (+8 / -0)

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[mxlti-stxn173]

The groups/artists I like and Stan

1. 1THE9

2. 8turn

3. &audition

4. BAE173

5. CRAVITY

6. Day6

7. DEMIAN

8. DRIPPIN

9. ENHYPEN

10. EPEX

11. H&D

12. Han seungwoo

13. I-Land

14. JUSTB

15. Kim Wooseok

16. Kim Yohan

17. Lee Eunsang <33

18. LUMINOUS

19. NIve

20. P1Harmony

21. PENTAGON

22. SHAUN

23. Straykids

24. TAN

25. &Team

26. Tempest

27. TNX

28. TOMORROW BY TOGETHER

29. WOODZ

30. X1

31. Xdinary Heroes

32. Young K

33. YOUNITE

34. BTOB

35. SF9

36. BLANKY2

37. Monsta X

38. CIX

39. Park Jihoon

40. Kant Daniel

41. B.I

42. Trendz

43. TO1

44. Xikers

45. Treasure

46. Ververy

47. Omega x

48. ZB1/ most of the bp999 boys

49. Lun8

50. Boynextdoor

51. OA 오아

[trashmouth-toastzier]

oi oi hello it was gay month and i had changed the layout of my tumblr for the first time since i created it :)!! then i drafted this post and only just found it now lol

decided to introduce myself a little and make a list of the non-male characters i like since my bio is a list of the fictional men i like >:)

hi im jules (u can also call me volantis), im 23 and im a non binary lesbian, i use they/them pronouns (and iel/yel in french), im british-french 😔✊ and i also speak some german

here are some of my favourite non-men!!!! (any characters who don't use he/him and/or identify as men) fictional characters:

genshin-> keqing, yanfei, klee, yoimiya, hu tao, shen he, yae miko, qiqi, xinyan, mona, lumine, arlecchino, beidou, collei, diona, dehya, faruzan, fischl, lisa, kujou sara, nahida, ningguang, xiangling

honkai star rail-> hook, natasha, bailu, seele, march 7th, herta, jingyun, kafka

honkai impact-> herrscher of sentience

mha-> himiko toga, mina, mei, ragdoll

proseka/vocaloid-> tenma saki, gumi, kagamine rin, hinomori shizuku, shiraishi an, yoisaki kanade, shininome ena, mayu, seeu, kaai yuki

magnus chase/percy jackson-> alex fierro, hazel levesque, piper mcclean

great pretender-> cynthia moore, abby jones

professor layton-> katrielle layton, flora reinhold, lucy baker, goldie potsby-mahn

love live-> tsushima yohane, yazawa nico, arashi chisato, emma verde, hanamaru kunikida, haruka konoe, kanata konoe, nakasu kasumi, tang keke, minami kotori, ohara mari, yoneme mei, mia taylor, tojo nozomi, tennoji rina, kazuna sarah, heanna sumire, watanabe you, ranpha, shirase koyuki, shitara fumi, kirihara yuuka, miyashita coco, hasekura kasane, kikkawa mizuki, tanaka sachiko, saeki reine, nishimura fumie

homestuck :') -> terezi pyrope, latula pyrope, rose lalonde, kanaya maryam, nepeta lejion, meulin lejion, roxy lalonde, calliope

tokyo mew mew-> aizawa minto, huang bu-ling

little witch academia-> diana cavendish, constanze albrechtsburger

bungou stray dogs-> yosano akiko, lucy montgomery

vanitas no carte-> dominique de sade, chloé apchier, amelia

black butler-> meyrin

pandora hearts-> alice, sharon rainsworth

vampire princess miyu-> miyu

tangled the series-> cassandra

it-> bev marsh

ensemble stars-> anzu, narukami arashi

x-men-> kitty pryde, rogue, mystique, emma frost, jubilation lee, polaris (lorna dane)

moomin-> little my, snorkmaiden

saiki k-> mikoto aiura, imu rifuta

dyslite-> feng nuxi, bai liuli, camille, catherine, yuuhime, discboom, elaine, heng yue, intisar, jiang man, li guang, mona, lin xiao, ye suhua

taz-> lup taaco, aubrey little, dani, lydia, lucretia, N0-3113, irene baker, gandy dancer

the raven boys-> blue sargent

pokemon-> jessie, lillie, blanche, acerola, mina, plumeria, klara, marnie, melony, nessa, sonia, opal, iono, nemona, tulip, mela

yuukoku no moriarty-> miss hudson

the magnus archives-> basira hussain, george barker, helen richardson, melanie king, jane prentiss, nikola orsinov, sasha james

teen titans-> raven, starfire, terra, jinx, bumblebee

bee and puppycat-> bee, cas wizard, toast

stranger things-> max, robin, erica

cookie run-> latte, strawberry crepe, scorpion, hydrangea, snow sugar, bellflower, black garlic, spinach, captain ice, snake fruit, kumiho, starfruit, moon rabbit, lychee dragon, pond dino, angel, black pearl, oyster, sea fairy, moonlight, pumpkin pie, cotton, cream puff, pinecone, milky way

idolm@ster-> hoshii miki, kikuchi makoto, takatsuki yayoi

etc... cause if not we'll be here for years (watch me add more when i think of them)

[killerandhealerqueen]

7) Least favorite piece you've ever written?

20)

Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Is there an episode (of killer and healer, devil judge, under the skin, etc,) that inspired you just a little bit more to create something What piece did you create from it?

Anyways, hey sass! It’s been a while. 😁

High school is freaking hard. 😞 but the next week should be kinda of chill until we start exam prep again. Yay. Anyways,

I am hoping to actually catch up on some works of urs this week! Like for real this time. So expect some very happy Gem comments!

Have a great… morning/afternoon/evening/night!

Gem 💜

Ps, man I’ve been away so long I forgot ur general time.

p.s.s i finally finished the worst x AND OMG. GREAT MOVIE

P.s.s.s…….. this banner and pfp is Phenomenal 🫣

Gem, my darling! Hello! It's so nice to hear from you. And I know high school is hard, girl I've been there, done that.

7) Least favorite piece you've ever written?

Least favorite piece I've ever written...I love all of my fics that I've posted on AO3, so it's none of them. I think the least favorite piece I've ever written was a prompt that my friend sent me for a fandom that I wasn't in (it was for a bet that we had. If one of us reached a follower milestone first, the winner had to give the loser a prompt/fandom that they weren't in and the loser had to write a fic for the fandom) (I of course won first but in good spirits I let her give me a fandom that I wasn't in so that it would be fair). It was bad. I didn't know the characters/characterization, I used an old fic outline and just sort of replaced the characters with the characters from the fandom...not good. I think I deleted it on my laptop and I don't think I can find the fic in all of my post because I didn't tag it as I didn't want it to show up in the fandom tag and get fucking roasted.

20)

Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Trope that I've yet to try my hand at...honestly, I think I've tried a lot of tropes, especially with Killer and Healer. I don't know what other trope there is out there to try

Is there an episode (of killer and healer, devil judge, under the skin, etc,) that inspired you just a little bit more to create something What piece did you create from it?

Okay...so (this is gonna get long so it's going under the cut)

Killer and Healer:

It's a Date - inspired by ep. 19/20 where Jiang Yuelou suggests he and Chen Yuzhi go horseback riding

Let Me Take Care of You - inspired by ep. 12 deleted scene

It All Started With a Hug - inspired by ep. 26

Countryside Sunset - inspired by the episode that shall not be named

Please Don't Take My Sunshine Away - inspired again by the episode that shall not be named

恨君不似江楼月 | Killer and Healer - inspired by the episode that shall not be named and the whole series, honestly

The Devil Judge

Take a Bullet for You - inspired by the episode where K dies (I can't remember the episode)

His - inspired by the episode where Gaon used himself as a shield to protect Yohan from the bomb blast in his office

I'm Not Going Anywhere - inspired by the episode where Gaon had a break down in the prison yard after realizing that the man in prison wasn't Do Youngchoon

Love You Unconditionally - inspired by the episode where Gaon had a break down in the prison yard after realizing that the man in prison wasn't Do Youngchoon

Home - inspired by the episode where Soohyun and Elijah have their girls day out and then Soonhyun leaves Elijah in the car to deal with Jukchang

Kim Gaon Is Mine - inspired by the episode where Gaon and Yohan go to that gala

I've Got You - inspired by the episode where Gaon had a break down in the prison yard after realizing that the man in prison wasn't Do Youngchoon

No More Nightmares - inspired by the episode where Gaon dreams of getting revenge for his parents and killing Do Youngchoon

Look After You - inspired by the episode after Soohyun dies and Yohan, Gaon, and Elijah go to visit her grave

Under the Skin

Sink or Swim - inspired by the episode where Du Cheng stops Shen Yi from jumping into the ocean to try and restart his memories of the woman in red

S.C.I.

Guess We're Parents Now? - inspired by the episode where Bai Yutong and Zhan Yao have to take care of the baby

Anyways, those are all of the fics that I can think of that was inspired by an episode of some sort.

I look forward to reading your comments, I really hope you like the fics (I have posted so many since you last commented). And isn't HIGH & LOW: THE WORST X so good? My god, I don't know how many times I've rewatched it like holy shit.

Thank you about my banner! My baby @httpsbas made it for me, along with two other banners as a birthday/1K followers present. I love them all so much, she did such a good job. And doesn't it just match perfectly with my icon? I was quite proud of myself for that, not gonna lie.

But I'm super happy to hear from you! Good luck in school! Keep your chin up!

asks for fic writers | send me asks

#sass answers #gem edition #asks for fic writers

[fourth-quartet]

way to you

Part of what comes from Elijah’s recovery is Yohan’s recovery. Gaon doesn’t realise at first how much has changed, because it all comes filtered through occasional phone calls, a text or email every so often on whatever is the newest safe way to communicate. Unknown numbers and odd emails become immediate associations with Yohan in Switzerland.

Yohan smiles more. Gaon can hear that much in the phone calls, even through the tinny filter of distance and time between them; Yohan smiles and laughs when they talk. Yohan teases him softly and accepts gentle jabs in turn, much the way Gaon has seen him interact with Elijah. No longer is the weight of the world on Yohan’s shoulders, and that lightness suits him; laughter and warmth and gentle teasing tones become the norm and Gaon finds himself smiling more too. Yohan is still quiet, reserved, and Gaon can tell the moments when Yohan stops to think before he says anything, words chosen carefully. There are still times when Yohan feels like he’s taken a few steps backwards from healing. 

“K didn’t make it,” is one of those times, when the weight comes back to his voice. When Yohan, so far away, feels like he could be right by his side and Gaon still wouldn’t know how to help. Yohan, drowning in the emotions he never let himself feel before, reaching out for help, and Gaon staring at his desperate attempts to float from the lifeboat, unsure of how to save him. 

“I had a house for him,” Yohan says. Gaon hears the soft thump of Yohan’s head hitting the wall as he tilts his head back, the long inhale and longer exhale. The exhaustion that creeps into his voice when he speaks again. “Ah, I had so much for him. When this was all done, I had so much ready for him.” 

Gaon does the only thing he can think to do to comfort him, the only thing that once would comfort him. “Tell me about him?” 

“We met- eleven years ago,” Yohan says softly, tilting his head back. Emotions choke his voice for a moment, and Gaon understands when Yohan whispers, “Jo Keon. His name was Keon. Keonie… We met when I was still in law school. We… met.” Yohan lingers on the word a touch too long and Gaon understands when Yohan sighs again, takes another deep breath. His clothes rustle and when he speaks again, he sounds distant from his phone, like he’s set it down. Gaon can almost see the way Yohan is pinching the bridge of his nose, resting his elbows on his knees, the way he’s trying to keep himself together. 

“You can fall apart if you need to,” Gaon says, softly, without thinking. Silence, on the other end of the line, and then a noise, soft. Gaon wishes he could be close enough to wipe the tears from Yohan’s cheeks. 

“I bought him a house by the water,” Yohan says finally, in between a few rough inhales, each breath like dragging the weight of his body up over a cliff. “He loved beaches. He wanted to live by the water. To- he wanted to make things. He, ah, he was good with his hands. Not like- Metalworking, like jewellery. And technology, he was good with technology too.” 

Gaon closes his eyes and listens. He hadn’t known K well, but listening to Yohan speak only gives him a better idea of who he was; K wasn’t just Yohan’s driver, or assistant, or right hand. Jo Keon was the first person Kang Yohan ever fell in love with. 

“Keonie hated gifts,” Yohan murmurs, impossibly fond despite the tears. “It was near impossible to get him to accept gifts, even on his birthday. I always left them in places he’d only find them later. The first gift he let me give him was a watch.” Gaon knows they buried K with a watch. He, alongside Ko Inguk and Han Soyoon, had attended K’s funeral, quiet as it had been. 

Yohan talks for almost two hours. His voice is hoarse by the end of it, and he sounds exhausted, like he’s clinging to wake by his fingertips and as he trails off, not quite asleep but not quite awake, Gaon whispers his stories in turn, of Soohyun and his parents, and listens as Yohan finally sleeps, the shallow even breaths on the other end of the line soothing even to him. 

Gaon wakes up to a notification of an eight-hour long call, and three words from an unknown number. Thank you, Gaon-ah.

#the devil judge #fic stuffs #kang yohan #악마판사 #gahan #kim gaon #gaon x yohan #the devil judge fanfiction #k/yohan #k (the devil judge) #post-canon drabble

[maxihq]

Finalmente, o grande dia! Os trainees passaram a semana inteira praticando para dar tudo de si hoje, as salas de prática ficaram ocupadas dia e noite e quem ouvia de fora só conseguia notar as músicas tocando em loop durante a semana. O showcase conta com uma playlist de peso para suas apresentações, desde grupos antigos como f(x) aos mais novos como o grupo da própria empresa, Chimera. 

Às 20h em ponto, horário que estava marcado o showcase, a CEO subiu ao palco para dar boas vindas aos presentes, anunciando que as line-ups que se apresentariam a seguir eram os novos maiores nomes da indústria do K-POP. Ela terminou dizendo para todos aproveitarem a noite e deixou claro que gravar as performances era proibido.

Durante os 15 minutos seguidos, cada trainee aparecia no telão com sua foto oficial e suas informações principais: nome, data de nascimento, habilidades principais e período de treinamento dentro da MAXI.

Os anúncios foram feitos por idade e separados entre os times; 

MAXI Girls: Areum, Heedo, Somi, Serena, Hyomin, Lexus, Minyoung e Kieu. 

MAXI Boys: Juan, Jiwan, Hyeop, Seojun, Yohan, Jake, Yujin, Yichan e Sungyeol. 

A cada perfil os gritos aumentavam mais um pouco, alguns rostos já eram conhecidos pelos fãs, então quando foram anunciados no telão o público não conseguia conter a felicidade. No teatro também estavam presentes alguns jornalistas e, é claro, a CEO e seu grupo favorito de produtores.

Assim que as luzes foram apagadas, alguns passos conseguiram ser ouvidos do palco e então a primeira Unit da noite foi apresentada. A sub-unit 2 das MAXI Girls deu início à leva de performances com Nu ABO.

20h16 - Nu ABO, MAXI Girls (Sub-unit 2: Kieu, Heedo, Somi e Hyomin)

20h21 - Blue, Yun Juan (SOLO)

20h31 - 1 of 1, MAXI Boys (Sub-unit 2: Yohan, Sungyeol, Jake e Jiwan)

20h35 - Once In a Moon, Kieu (SOLO)

20h38 - Sunrise, MAXI Girls (Sub-unit 1: Areum, Serena, Minyoung e Lexi)

20h41 - Rap original, Somi (SOLO)

20h44 - Tinnitus, MAXI Boys (Sub-unit 1: Hyeop, Seojun, Juan, Yujin e Yichan)

20h48 - Not Over You, Jake (SOLO)

20h50 - Invitation, Areum (SOLO)

20h54 - Intervalo. Depois dessas performances impecáveis, para dar tempo dos trainees se trocarem para o grande final, um vídeo de dez minutos com algumas filmagens dos ensaios deu-se início no telão do teatro. Ali o público conseguiu assistir os trainees praticando juntos, sozinhos, até conhecer um pouco mais de cada um ao que algumas cenas aleatórias apareciam deles interagindo entre si e com a câmera.

21h05 - I’m So Sick, MAXI Girls. Assim que o vídeo acabou, a penúltima apresentação ficou nas mãos das meninas: o grupo de nove subiu ao palco ao som de I’m So Sick, do grupo Apink, e é óbvio que elas brilharam e o figurino ajudou na hora de manter o público focado nelas. Todas fizeram um ótimo trabalho em dar à vida pela vibe da música e incorporaram a letra direitinho; isso era notável quando chegava a hora do refrão. As meninas também foram elogiadas pelo seu talento na dança, estavam até mais sincronizadas que as próprias cantoras originais da música. Areum e Serena ganharam alguns fãs pelo vocal de ouro que carregavam dentro de si, era incrível quanto controle elas tinham ao cantar. Kieu, Heedo, Hyomin e Minyoung também não saíram dali sem roubar alguns corações: as caras e bocas adicionadas à coreografia fizeram alguns fãs se derreterem em suas cadeiras. Lexus e Somi foram as que mais surpreenderam os presentes pelo tom de suas vozes; quando era a vez delas cantarem, o teatro ficava em silêncio só para prestar atenção. A apresentação foi finalizada e as trainees sorriam de orelha à orelha ao serem ovacionadas. 

21h10 - Call Me Baby, MAXI Boys. Com um pequeno intervalo de dois minutos, foi a vez dos meninos tomarem seus lugares e pegarem todos de surpresa com Call Me Baby, do EXO. Durante a apresentação, alguns fãs não conseguiram deixar de notar o quanto o grupo mantinha um vocal estável durante a performance, mesmo com uma coreografia difícil daquelas. Todos os trainees tiveram a chance de mostrar ao público o seu talento, mas cada um de uma forma diferente. As interações de Sungyeol e Jake combinaram perfeitamente ao dividirem o rap final da música, além de, é claro, Yujin, que deu início a apresentação como ninguém ao cantar a icônica linha de Kai. Hyeop, Yohan e Yichan também mostraram porque foram escolhidos para a line-up oficial, o carisma e presença de palco dos três impressionou até a CEO. Mas o ponto alto da apresentação ficou com os três vocalistas principais, Juan, Seojun e Jiwan, que entregaram uma versão tão boa quanto a original da famosa ponte da música. É claro que também foram ovacionados quando a performance acabou!

Pouco mais de 21h20, com todos os trainees subindo no palco para se despedirem dos fãs e demais presentes, o showcase se dava como encerrado. A CEO estava mais do que satisfeita com o que viu nessa noite e a cada dia tinha mais certeza que fizera a escolha certa em escolher os dezoito jovens.

No final de tudo, perto das 21h40, a CEO se encontrou com os trainees no camarim principal do teatro para parabenizá-los e agradecer por continuarem confiando na empresa, e nela, para realizarem seu debut. Ao se despedir, avisou que comemorações estavam liberadas e que, no domingo, a empresa não abriria para treinos para dar um descanso à todos.

| notas ooc.

Fotos/vídeos, povs e outras coisas poderão ser postados no twitter dos trainees como também no twitter privado deles com o uso da tag #MAXIHOMECOMING.

Os trainees podem sim reagir aos outros colegas enquanto eles se apresentam, por isso botamos o horário direitinho para ninguém se perder.

Como a CEO mesma disse, comemorações estão liberadas e os trainees não terão monitoramento nessa noite e nem no domingo. Aproveitem para fazer o que quiserem, players! Mas cuidado, hein? Esse showcase fez um barulhinho e tanto e algum trainee ser pego bebendo por aí pode cair mal...

Por último, queremos agradecer à quem participou ativamente no Discord dando ideias e discutindo qual música combinaria mais com tal grupo, detalhes como esse fazem a moderação querer continuar aqui, então nosso muito obrigado.

Dito isso, nos vemos na próxima postagem! (que virá logo logo...) E aqui está o link da playlist com todas as músicas apresentadas.

#homecoming: maxiteam. #eventos. #krp br #rp br

[yohangaontdj]

Prompt number: Day 1 - "It's not too late, let's go."

Fanfiction Fandom: The Devil Judge (TVN 2021 K-Drama)

Pairing: Yohan x Gaon (M/M)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: None

Additional: Modern AU. Sweet and Fluff. Chance Meeting in Vegas.

Excerpt:

A modern AU in the likes of the movie, Pretty Woman.

Yohan deciding to fly to Las Vegas on whim. There, meeting Gaon and him deciding to take a risk.

#fictober23 #the devil judge #gahan #kang yohan x kim gaon #lawful husbands #yohan x gaon #Im doing it again this year.

[seungwoodz]

bias + stan list <3 this will change over time as a stan new groups quite often :) these are also the groups I keep up with the most, I stan more than this lol if you wanna ask if I stan a group that isn't on here plz go ahead! ❤️

edit : it's been a few months and this is somewhat different but I need to go through and completely rewrite it so this will be different soon! feel free to come back and check whenever ❤️ like I said, this isn't all for the groups I stan but I want to make it that way, so this list is going to get A LOT longer, that's why it's still under a readmore lol

oh, also! these are the groups and soloists I keep up with :) I am a casual stan of many, maaaaaany more groups (active + disbanded!) so as I've said before, feel free to shoot me an ask or a message about other groups too ❤️ I also tried to stick with stage names but there might be a few ppl in here that have stage names that I changed to their actual name :/

1team - jinwoo

1the9 - doyum + jinsung

ab6ix - woong + donghyun

agust d

astro - moonbin + sanha

ateez - seonghwa + mingi

bae173 - muzin + doha (+ formerly dohyon)

baekhyun

boynextdoor - sungho, taesan

ciipher - keita + won

cravity - wonjin + seongmin

day6 - young k (+ formerly jae)

dean

dpr

e'last - wonjun + choi in

eaj

enhypen - sunghoon + niki

epex - baekseung + keum

exo - baekhyun

got7 - yugyeom

ha hyunsang

hoppipolla - hyunsang

hyunjun hur

just b - dy

kingdom - mujin

lucy - yechan

luminous - woobin

mcnd - win

mirae - dongpyo + lien

monsta x - i.m + kihyun

nct (all units) - ten, jisung + renjun

nine.i - seowon

omega x - jaehan, xen + junghoon

oneus - seoho + xion

onewe - cya + harin

onlyoneof - junji, yoojung + nine

p1harmony - keeho + jongseob

pentagon - hongseok

road-b - teen

seventeen - the8 + woozi

stray kids - hyunjin + han

super m - baekhyun + ten

tempest - hwarang

the boyz - sunwoo, kevin + new

the rose - woosung

tnx - hwi

to1 - jisu (+ formerly woonggi)

treasure - hyunsuk + yoshi (+ formerly yedam)

txt - yeonjun + beomgyu

victon - seungwoo

wei - yongha + yohan

woodz

x1 - seungwoo, eunsang, seungyeon

xdinary heroes - gaon + jungsu

xikers - yechan

younite - eunsang + dey

zerobaseone - ricky

aespa - karina + giselle

alexa

billlie - tsuki + sheon

blackpink - rosé

fromis_9 - hayoung

(g)i-dle - yuqi + soyeon

gugudan - mina

itzy - yeji + chaeryeong

iu

ive - wonyoung

iz*one - wonyoung + chaewon

jo yuri

kep1er - xiaoting + hikaru

le sserafim - yunjin + chaewon

mamamoo - wheein

nmixx - bae + sullyoon

somi

stayc - yoon

twice - momo + chaeyoung

yezi

#1the9 #astro #ateez #cravity #enhypen #exo #got7 #monsta x #nct #oneus #onewe #onlyoneof #seventeen #stray kids #the boyz #treasure #txt #x1 #younite #zerobaseone #zb1 #boys planet #billlie #itzy #ive #kep1er #le sserafim #twice #kpop #kband

[darlingletshurttonight]

yohan and K

so i was thinking of yohan and K. we all agree that the boy, and the couple, deserved more. i watched the show again focusing on their parts, but i'm sure i still probably missed a few things. i'll keep adding more to this post (this is already so long tho, like really long).

there's a lot of spoilers ahead for those who haven't watched the show or are only a couple of episodes in.

incoming a very long stream of consciousness :’)

yohan obviously knows k's real name. he's probably the only one alive and meaningful to K who knew his name. K didn't seem to have many people around him, and to have only one person know and maybe sometimes call your actual name definitely means a lot. the code name K was probably given to him by yohan. of course this was done for security reasons but i can't help imagine this being a way for K to know that he is not entirely for yohan. i just know that there would have been moments they shared where yohan has called out his actual name, like the way he did with "gaon-ah"

can y'all imagine how K's burial/cremation must've been carried out? just yohan and the rest of the team. and i guess this happened before all the shit went down with the "quarantine rescue" trial and stuff. but there's no doubt that yohan halted things for just a bit and sent him away respectfully.

K was in middle school when his parents died and he could only depend on yohan. initially i'd think that yohan probably raised K on the fuel of anger and revenge, sort of like elijah. just that K didn't have any kind of protection from the truth. he was on his own in that sense and the only support he had in dealing with all that was yohan. he gave him the choice to join him for revenge. he promised that the lady who caused this would repent. and yes, yohan might have started out using K's vulnerabilities and volatile emotions solely to his advantage. 

but if that was the case, their relationship would've been very different from what we saw. if anything, middle schooler K would've been boiling with anger and yohan would've stopped him from doing something stupid and reckless. (yohan was K's soohyun to some extent in that sense, just that he was probably like "you should plan out your revenge bro" instead of "revenge is bad")

yohan has nurtured K to some extent. he has given him some sort of affection and a sense of reliability and safety for K to stick by his side and trust him even if he feels like he has ended up having nothing to lose. also many have pointed out that these two completely understood each other. they never spoke about their feelings but still knew what the other was thinking. they were each other's confidantes because they literally had no one else to lean on. yohan being the older one naturally took responsibility over this kid.

i can totally imagine yohan being K' s mentor of sorts too. i hate to make this comparison, but sort of like professor snake and gaon. atleast when yohan and K started working together, yohan must've taken him out for meals just to make sure he's eating, teaching him driving, buying him essentials, probably securing his family house and all that stuff. there's no way K would've stuck with yohan if he wasn't entirely devoted to him.

i also feel like yohan had given him that choice before, to leave. or let him take his own decisions like gaon. and K stayed. and wasn't it yohan who approached K? that's the biggest difference between gaon and K. gaon gatecrashes into all these walls built by yohan, whereas K was allowed to walk through all these walls, even if on the sidelines. but he didn't overstep, he didn't question, he didn't doubt yohan. there has to be a lot of trust and vulnerability from both sides there.

when gaon gets introduced to the team that's helping yohan, we don't hear K's backstory. all we know about his history is through yohan in a scene with kyunghee. it needed more weight and special attention because just a "kyunghee framed his parents" wouldn't have sufficed for the relationship they'd grown to have and the burden they'd grown to share. there's similarities between K's and gaon's backstories. they both lost their parents due to a corrupt system at a very young age. they both are pretty much under yohan's wing, and they grow to like him, initially for the revenge he's offering but eventually for the person he is.

also lets not forget that K was sun-ah's first target. 

"you have nothing you wish to protect? there's no such person"

she pretty much knew everything about yohans inner circle. gaon was not entirely there yet, and attacking elijah would be too risky. K was a sure shot victim. his oldest ally. and it broke yohan. she says that she wanted yohan to be lonely like her, while jae hee, her right hand woman, stood right next to her. so it is very clear that what yohan and K had was not just "business related" it was beyond that. and she could sense that.

one of the scenes where i felt the most for K was this scene.

(”take me home” y’all. i know the literal translation is more like “let’s go home” but either way)

we all gush about the fact that elijah calls yohan home for dinner. and he is confused at first, but then he smiles. and then he goes home and has dinner with a loving set of people. 

but what about K? he went home and probably had a beer by himself, alone and cold. i'd like to think he wasn't lonely, but we don't know enough about him to even guess.

y’all think he wouldn’t have noticed yohan smiling at the back? how many times must that have happened before? i’m not saying he would’ve wanted yohan to be as miserable as him or something. but rather, he’d probably never have imagined them having a light at the end of the tunnel. 

K was a young adult with his own thoughts when yohan met him. and i feel like one of the reasons yohan kept a distance was because he knew he was consciously moulding K into being his loyal sidekick, always in the background. he couldn't ask for more than that. K became increasingly aware of that as he grew up and chose to go along with it. also, being as emotionally repressed as they were, it affected the kind of relationship they had. so they ended up lingering around the boundaries of that distance, never crossing it.

okay, in episode 12, K and gaon have a conversation without yohan around. i feel like there's so many layers to what K is saying here.

K admits to gaon that despite cha kyunghee getting punished for her crimes, he doesn't feel anything. to me it seems like he's gotten this realization a while back. he probably realized at some point that revenge was futile and he wasn't really doing this for revenge. and technically after kyunghee's death he could've left because she was his enemy, not the foundation. yet, he stayed to simply honor his loyalty to yohan. we all know yohan would've let him go if he wanted to leave. he's not one to beg, and K was aware of that. deep down he probably felt that maybe yohan would try to stop him. but he would only be speculating and he didn't want to take a chance. he didn't want to be in a position where he'd have to watch yohan choose whether he wanted him to stay or not.

then he tells gaon to not get too involved. 

"i have nothing to lose, but you're different. if you stay by yohan's side, you'll end up losing everything, including yourself"

it feels like K never had the opportunity to think about a future where revenge was not his aim. even if he did, he just decided to ignore it because he had become too comfortable with looking at the world through yohan's lenses. and he ended up being okay with it because that's how he grew up. he was aware that he was too deep into it to go back. that was his rational thought. but i can also see that this attachment with yohan was the only familiar thing that has stuck with him all this while. 

he couldn't imagine a world without yohan.

the way soohyun was gaon's anchor, his comfort zone, yohan was K's. just that their ideas of comfort and familiarity were different. 

there's so many ways the show makes parallels between yohan/k and gaon/soohyun where their roles kinda interchange sometimes too. 

this scene directly follows the part where soohyun asks yohan to leave gaon alone.

i think yohan watched as K grew to make him the center of his universe. and even if he knew this wouldn't be good, it was like candy to him. he could't resist it and let himself enjoy it because no one had ever done that before. not to mention, it was giving him a lot of advantage because K did all the snooping around. and then they both reached a point where they were both aware that while K did start out for revenge, he stayed for yohan. yohan was all he knew.

and K could feel how yohan was getting swayed, or affected, to say the least, because of gaon and that was messing with K's comfort zones. we see this scattered across some episodes. when yohan almost kills the furniture guy for planting a bomb in his office. we see it when yohan confesses that its weird to have someone understand and sympathize with him, with no negative connotation there. i think K was starting to question his sense of purpose when he saw gaon going on the same path as him, but the fact that yohan was so inviting despite gaon being a risk factor, slightly ticked him off.

there was an image of yohan he had in his mind, and he wasn't seeming like that anymore. he was so dependent on that image of yohan that he probably thought of questions like what happens after we do get revenge? would he leave K alone then? would K have anyone left after yohan has no use of him? what happens to him after this? i'm sure he thought of all these questions, and never got around to asking them, maybe to not cross the line, maybe because he was scared of the answers.

either he doesn't want anyone else to go through this, or he's let it consume himself too much and doesn't want to let go of yohan. i personally feel like it's a mix of both.

to me that scene between gaon and K was more of K self justifying/protecting his familiarity under the disguise of a warning to gaon. K did believe what he said about yohan, but he had accepted it for himself as long as he was the only one there in that equation.

it felt like the adult equivalent of elijah saying, "if you go to prison, this house will be mine" to yohan. her motive there was to scare yohan into staying with her for her own comfort, disguised as a threat.

the death scene.

it was so difficult to sit through this scene because i wasn't able to conjure up any way they could save this situation. unfortunately it’s K's death that really rubs it in your face that yohan and K had a much deeper relationship than what it looks like on the surface.

before i could even figure out that yohan was going to climb up, K was already pleading him to stop. they spoke so much through their eyes and body language. they knew what each other’s next step would be.

yohan wouldn't go up and down a flight of stairs with a gunshot to his stomach for many people (more like he would but not many people had bothered to reach that level with him). when K is hanging and yelling at yohan to not come closer, not go upstairs, i think that's when he realized that he did have someone to lose. yohan himself.

this montage was just painful to the core. this scene screams loyalty and love.

there's another reason i made the professor/gaon and yohan/K parallel. this scene is overlapped with gaon calling out for his professor who's apparently stuck in that messy "rescue" situation, similar to K calling out to yohan to leave him and save himself. K and gaon, both risked their lives to save their confidantes, they always readily plunged into dangerous situations for them. but yohan had K's back (or so he thought, his intentions were right)

which is why i can't help but conclude that K to yohan was what the professor and soohyun were to gaon.

yohan is at his wit's end here. he has no solutions, no escapes, no ideas. he just never thought of a possibility that K would ever be in danger. the person he used to send to check up on everyone else who would be in danger. did he just never think anyone would try taking him away?

K is shaking his head at yohan as yohan helplessly looks at him. was he saying it's the end of the line? it's time to let go?

y’all the pain on yohan’s face. he has to face the death of the first person he had any relationship with out of his bloodline. this boy who trusted him and devoted the rest of his life to him and his motives.

then we hear the most gut wrenching scream accompanied with the crashing sound of K’s body and his skull or bones breaking. 

gone.

yohan goes batshit crazy, not in a physical sense, but you can see the "monster awaken" as he threatens sunah and then fucking grins. i couldn't even look at sunah here without wanting to gently lay her in a pool of lava.

yohan lets out this bone chilling scream and his face is full of agony, pain, guilt and sorrow. he's leaning against the railing and watching K bleed.

he reaches downstairs. with a bullet in his stomach, yohan bends down to be near K. he caresses his hair and we have a fleshed out confession from him. 

"it was almost over. you just had to live your own life, me and you"

he had plans for K. 

yohan is a man who bought a healthy food shopping mall for his house help. you think he wouldn't go above and beyond to give K a happy and fulfilling life too?

i just wonder what kind of plans he must've made though. they must've talked about this stuff. they couldn't have always been so stoic to not even indirectly talk about something that doesn't revolve around the foundation and schemes and paybacks. 

i want to see those lingering gazes as yohan figures out K's interests, the soft smiles to himself when he imagines K doing anything he actually enjoys in his life later on, thinking about the possibilities of K allowing him to keep in touch. you can't tell me this didn't happen. he absolutely thought of a future for and with K.

when yohan regains consciousness and looks at K's body, he doesn't have the same kind of expression on his face anymore. its much more guarded. there's regret, anger and determination. his sorrow is hidden. i feel like if there weren't people around, we'd still see sorrow there. but they were extremely discreet about each other. and i don't mean romantically or sexually. even in a platonic sense they only ever showed any emotion or intimacy to each other when there was nobody watching them. it's like both of them had let the other person secretly creep into the cracks of all the walls they'd built between themselves and other people.

i dont need to make the soohyun and K death parallels because it's obvious and there’s much better written posts on that. but there’s some stuff i noticed.

firstly, about yohan not telling gaon about K's death. there was little opportunity to do so. and why should he? gaon had explicitly said that he was not going to be part of yohan's ways anymore. K was exactly that. so yohan probably didn't feel like gaon needed to know about that. then soohyun dies and gaon is grieving for her. not a time yohan would want to say "K died too" but i also do want to see how gaon would've reacted.

what i found interesting was, the way gaon slumps and kneels in front of yohans table, slamming his wrists and sobbing is so similar to yohan when he’s on the railing. the restlessness in their posture, uncertainty of their own reactions, the sheer anger and forcing themselves to come to terms with it. 

of course yohan was thinking of his brother too, but he was still recovering from K's death AND consoling gaon. he simply buried his pain of K's absence, like how he buried whatever relationship they had all this time. how do you explain a relationship like this? it wasn't like fate brought them together or something, they had tied themselves together and the knots kept tightening as time went by.

K’s death was on the forefront of his mind right now.

before leaving, sunah showed him that gaon is in danger as well. she targeted two pillars at once. it seems like gaon and K were two sides that kept yohan balanced. but she was personally present to see his agony over losing K because the real gaon episode was yet to come. i think she just wanted to see how yohan would manage to save gaon. yohan knew that soohyun would drop everything to save gaon, the way yohan would've dropped everything to save K or vice versa.

killing off K and soohyun within one episode is the biggest parallel the writers gave us. their lives entirely revolved around yohan and gaon respectively. while yohan and gaon never reciprocated their feelings for them, they still absolutely needed them for their sanity and to keep themselves in check. however, soohyun got to live her dream of being with gaon as a lover, even if for a bit. 

the fact that we don't know K's exact feelings is the biggest tragedy. it doesn't have to be romantic, sexual, explicit or anything specific at all. relationships between people can be complicated and don't require labels, especially when they've shared their trauma and grown up together for a long time, sharing each others loss and burden. there was more to it than what we saw. 

yohan and K needed each other. how they gave each other those affirmations, if at all, is unknown to us. but they weren't content because they had grown to like each other as humans, rather than allies to destroy some people. they had devoted their entire existence to revenge and found it difficult to really see the other slog everyday for this cause. but they still stuck to it because they had promised each other that. it was revenge that brought them together and if that wasn't there anymore, why should they be in the same space? 

it’s safe to assume that K had let go of the whole revenge thing a long time back, and yohan definitely sensed it. but he also sensed that K still stayed for their sake. for whatever it was they both shared. 

to have gaon "confess" to soohyun, there had to be a tipping point. gaon's presence at kyunghee's suicide spot was that tipping point for soohyun to understand that she doesn't give a shit if gaon goes around contributing to people's death as long as he's safe and sound in front of her eyes. if K had survived that episode, that would be the tipping point for yohan and K. something would have come out of that. a confession of sorts, some display of concern that was beyond tears and a gentle stroke of comfort, something more. some love language being played out. it would've definitely shaken up what they had till now. 

like i mentioned earlier, yohan would have have gone above and beyond to make K's future as comfortable as possible. regardless of whether he was going to be a part of it or not. i think he was going to leave it up to K, whether he wanted yohan to be a part of his life after all this or not. 

there's no question about yohan not wanting to be a part of K's life. did he think he deserved to be there in K's future? no. but did he want to? definitely yes. but yohan would never impose his wishes, not anymore. he would let K choose. and whatever he chose, yohan would take his decision in stride.

unfortunately they just never got there.

#the devil judge #kang yohan #yohan x k #yohan and k #kim gaon #soohyun #the devil judge gifs #devil judge #ji sung #lee ki taek #jinyoung #kdrama #tvn the devil judge

[iamjonwalkerscat]

There’s not enough K content so I decided to add my own. 

#sorry if it sucks it's my first fmv ever #the devil judge #tdj #the devil judge fmv #the devil judge edit #kdrama #kang yo han #kang yohan #K #the devil judge K #lee ki taek #jisung #Yohan x K #YohanK #K deserved better