#{the will to do the soul to dare. - molly!}

[ttulipwritezz]

King Of My Heart (Body And Soul)~ R. Lupin.

Chapter  3 - Helpless 

Ootp! Remus Lupin x Sirius's sister!Reader

Synopsis: When James and Lily died, and your brother was sent to Azkaban, Remus was the only person you had left. Until he left too. What happens when he returns after the events of Sirius's escape, only to find out you have a son? A son that's his.

WC: 2.2 k

Warnings: lots of italics, probably grammatical mistakes, kiss(es), might be ooc idk, child (?), fem reader, italics are flashbacks and thoughts ( idk), love (ew), Sirius is back, mentions of torture, abuse, walburga black, abandonment, fear of feeling helpless, screaming ig, abandonment [ look at series masterlist for all content warnings]

A/n: I am actually so, so proud of this chapter. It's slightly longer than the others and a little more angsty. LOTS of conflicting feelings. Remus is kind of an ass, but no one's perfect :) But I’ll have it be less sad in the next few chapters following ch 4. I think? Thanks for reading and please reblog and/or comment. If you like this :) likes don't do much on tumblr <3

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With a furrow of his brows, Remus glanced towards Sirius when the two of you made your way to the dining hall for the order meeting.

If Sirius noticed, he didn’t say anything. Molly ushered the children out of the hall and Kingsley started the meeting.

They began with new information and ended with assigned missions. With your absence from the order for so long, you seemed to be the least informed amongst them all. So far you knew that Kingsley worked for the ministry and was secretly helping lead the order under Dumbledore's guidance.

And that there was an incredibly intelligent woman at the end of the table. Nymphadora Tonks. Don’t call her that though.

The name Tonks was awfully familiar to you. Until it clicked. She was your niece! Your cousin’s daughter.

Oh how she’d grown up. 

Along with this, you got to know about Peter’s betrayal and how he had framed your brother. Peter… You really did treasure his friendship at one point. You grieved him just as you had the others. To know that he was a traitor and sent your brother to Azkaban and was partially responsible for your husband's leaving, left you seething, to say the least.

You wanted to crush that thick skull of his with your bare hands.

 Noticing your discomfort, Sirius put a hand over yours, so as to say…you’re okay.

~

“you’re okay. You’re okay” At this point you weren’t sure whether Sirius’s words were meant to convince you or convince himself. His chest rising and falling rapidly to accommodate his frantic state.

Walburga’s yelling could be heard from the other room.

“YOU DISGRACE! YOU IMBECILE! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!” Her yelling did little to calm your trembling and even littler to quiet your sobs.

You do not know what began another one of her scoldings, you don’t remember what you’d done to be on its receiving end yet again. All you knew is that Sirius was punished with the cruciatus curse and you were going to be next. Despite his state, all Sirius thought about was you. How his baby sister was hurt, scared and in so much pain.

That night Sirius left, with you, nothing but his wand and jacket hung about his arm as he led a trembling you out of the house and ran.

That night Sirius ran, he ran till his legs burned. His calves ached and his chest heaved. He ran and ran and ran. He ran to the only place he could think of. He ran.

“Don’t you dare come back! You disgrace to the Black Family name!” Walburg’s words were still ringing in his ears by the time he made it to potter manor, and you weren’t in a much better state yourself.

As soon as the door opened to the frantic knocking, it seemed as though all the adrenaline left Sirius's body and he collapsed right into James's arms. You stood there, eyes stinging, heavy with exhaustion. That was when you truly felt helpless.

~

The next morning, you awoke to voices. Not the ones in your head, ones from outside. With little energy you opened up your eyes. The brightness of the morning sun blinded you for a moment, and that suffocating feeling came back.

You sat up so fast that your head started to spin. Your eyes were wide and your breathing erratic. 

As you were ready to look around your surroundings, ready to see exactly where Walburga had put you again, a hand came into your field of vision. A bruised hand, ready to help.

Sirius gently hovered his hands over your cheek, careful as to not touch you. His eyes held the utmost kindness and compassion. He had woken up from one too many nightmares himself.

“Y/n?” His voice was unsure yet it provided you with the comfort you seeked at the moment.

Your shoulders relaxed and you Jumped forward to embrace him. You were safe, you were okay.

Once most of the order members left, You began to count just how many people will be staying at grimmauld place for the time being.

You had a place further away from this merlin forsaken house. That felt like home. This didn't 

You and Regulus had only shown up a couple days ago to tidy up and be prepared. Technically, you owned it, and there was nothing your mother’s portrait that hung in the second floor corridor could do about it. She was dead.

The Weasleys, Harry, Hermione and Sirius were all staying, there was more than enough room for them. What you dreaded was Remus’s presence. 

Gathering up all the courage you could, you decided to talk to Remus. No time like the present! Should be a piece of cake!

Wrong.

Remus avoided you every chance he got. And you can’t blame him. 

Okay...perhaps you were avoiding him a teeny, tiny, itty, bitty bit as well…

Okay! you were avoiding him fully.

But you can’t blame yourself! It’s hard.

What are you supposed to say?

“Oh hey husband who left me to process severe trauma and grief on my own..you have a KID! He’s 13! You know him already! :D ”

Making faces at your inner monologue wasn’t helping though, because you jumped the moment your eyes caught a figure leaning against the doorway, right arm up against the arch as the other finds purchase on his hip.

Remus.

Remus, your husband, was watching you make faces at yourself to talk to yourself for the past..you don’t know how long.

For a moment you just stared at each other, blinking and making no noise.

Then a smile broke out on his face, which subsequently led to one on yours.

He was the first to break the silence.

“So…How are you?” he pursed his lips after he spoke.

Strange, you considered. That’s how he begins a conversation?

Your eyes move across the room, he’s staring straight at you. It feels like he can see right through you. That he can see the gears turning in your head.

“I’ve met Regulus before…At Hogwarts, I mean. I was his DADA professor.” He says after noticing your silence.

Getting a noise of affirmation from you in return encourages his to speak further.

“Who is he? To you? I know the name isn’t exactly new” His head tilted to the side in the way a kicked puppy's would. 

From where you’re standing, in the little light, you can see his adam's apple bobbing up and down as he gulps, nervousness obvious throughout his being.

You don't lead with “he’s your son”. No. You begin short and simple. 

“He’s my son.”

You hope your voice doesn't reflect the fact that a lump has formed in your throat. You hoped your voice wasn't trembling like your hands.

A look washes over Remus's face. One you’d describe as recognition…or perhaps disappointment. In you or himself, that you wouldn't know.

Being from the Black family, you never hid your true thoughts. Feelings? sure, but thoughts? No.

“Disappointed are you? In me or yourself?”

There was a sass to your words you didn't expect. Once again a smile seems to tug at Remus's lips, stretching the scar, you didn't recognise yet, ever so slightly.

“Ever the witty one, my love” his words were airy. More relaxed.

Certainly too relaxed for your taste. There was no way he was so apathetic towards this. Not when it hurts you like a thousand hexes.

“Don't.” 

You don't know what gave you the sudden strength, the sudden courage, to stand your ground. What made you narrow your eyes and cross your arms.

What made you suddenly reject the light atmosphere he had created, while you so clearly longed to be in his arms. Heaving a sigh, you continued.

“You don't get to just come back and call me your love. You can't do that to me. Not again.”

Your voice was but a mere whisper towards the end of your sentance.

Not again. That's what you told yourself when you saw Remus this morning. You weren't going to throw yourself into his arms again. 

But how could you not when his arms just looked so warm and comfortable?

How could you when you’d spent fourteen years without them?

You were hoping he’d pick up the forgiving glint in your eyes and apologise.

His gaze flickered throughout the room. As if somehow that would answer you. First the lamp, in the furthest corner. Then the carpet caught his attention. Then suddenly the marble countertop seemed oh so interesting.

After what felt like hours, but really must've been a minute, he began to break the silence.

“Right…uhh-”

You watched as he paused, a divot appearing in between his brows, scrunching together, as a look of realisation crossed his features.

“-how old is he?”

The words escaped him with urgency, as if knowing this was extremely crucial.

It was, you just didn't know that.

“He’s fourteen- will be this year.”

Your mind was racing with thoughts, surely Remus wouldn't need to ask something so trivial.

It felt as though you could see the gears turning in his mind. He was so deep into thought.

But then his eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened.

“He’s mine.” He wasn't asking though, despite it sounding more like a question than affirmative.

That, you didn't expect.

And now you were the one who’s gaze was skittering across the room in hopes of finding an answer.

He knows. He knows. Oh Merlin he knows!

“He’s mine.”

Remus repeats, his voice comes out choked. As if he was ready to cry any moment.

Hearing a sniffle, you looked up to see Remus bringing his hand up to his face, which was rather red, and covering his eyes much like a little kid would.

You felt horrible, how could you hide this from him.

No. You did the right thing. He didn't want you. He wouldn't want Regulus either. He left! Awful. Awful! Bad!

“I have a son?”

You could definitely hear the tears in his voice, his light, choked up sobs echoed through the room. 

Hey, that's how you reacted when you found out too. 

You felt the sudden need to apologise. You shouldn't have to.

“Yes.” 

You settled on that. Yes. That's all he needed to know.

A flurry of questions bombarded his mind.

“Why didn't you tell me?” 

He looked angry. Why was he angry? He has no right to be angry.

You were furious.

“Why do you think Remus? Why do you think I hid him from you? Are you that daft!?”

 An incredulous chuckle accompanied your words. You were seething. And you weren't done, so you continued.

“You left me! James and Lily died! My brother was sent to Azkaban. And you left!”

Your volume was rising by the second. You're certain a little more and the whole house would hear it.

Maybe also hear the sound of your heart breaking along with.

You felt ridiculous. How is he angry at this? He has no right.

“If you’d told me I would have stayed! How long had you known!?”

If you told him.

He wouldn't have stayed for you. He would have stayed for the kid.

Not for you.

“Two weeks before-”

You managed to get out before he interrupted you.

“And you didn't think to tell me!?”

Why did he have to say it like that? Like he hated you?

It hurt.

“I tried.” 

Your chest felt heavy as you uttered those words. It felt like a wound had reopened.

Once again you were meek. You felt like a child being reprimanded by their parent. You've had a fair share of that already. You didn't need more.

You felt...helpless.

This was your husband. He wasn't supposed to be angry at you.

Suddenly all the feelings you’d been shoving down came right up.

“No Remus. You have no right! You cannot come back after years and pretend that we are fine! I did the right thing Remus. And I will not have you make me believe otherwise.”

You felt ridiculous. Yet again, he has made you feel small. That didn't happen before. 

Remus, your remus always made you feel loved. And seen.

This isn't your Remus.

“I don't know who you are. I know I did the right thing. I know…”

Right?

You shook your head as you spoke those words, you seemed to close in on yourself. Backing away until you couldn't. You can't do this right now.

His words seemed so collected when he replied. As much as they could, when he had been sobbing a moment ago. They still held anger in them.

“But I am his father.”

A gasp echoes through the empty corridor.

Not yours…

Regulus's.

"He is my father?”

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[danwhobrowses]

So a thing happened on Critical Role this week (campaign 3 ep 91), we're gonna talk about it - a long talk - so if you haven't been caught up and don't wanna be spoiled don't keep reading okay?

One of the disadvantages of being in a different time zone is that after fretting all morning, going to work, thinking 'it's 7am maybe it's done now' I had to sit in my office for a stressful final half hour murmuring don't do this don't fucking do this don't you dare fucking do this!

I already was worried for everyone given the cliffhanger last episode, and the 5 hour length made me further worried as players kept being knocked down by Otohan Thull - already frightening in base form but now with an even higher AC and empowered. Then Sam Riegel had to do what he does best, a devastating sacrifice where FCG blows himself up to take down Otohan - Ludinus' No. 2, harrowed for being proficient in slaughter, defeated by no assassin or warrior but a cleric saving their friends. We've been well past 'get off the moon' hours with this one, but now there is an impact on every one of the Hells to think about, which is what this will be about.

FCG Though he is dead there is still stuff to talk about with FCG's death. A common debate right now is the potential of the Reincarnate spell; while the wording of the death implies that FCG's current body is irreparable there is a chance that a 5th Level Druid Spell can fashion him a new body, one of flesh, bone and tongue. The body itself needs to be dead for less than 10 days so there is wiggle room to gain the necessary components too if the top brass of Exandria turn it into a fetch quest. There is argument on both sides though; if FCG comes back does it undermine his sacrifice? Perhaps, but there's no incentive for the Hells to not try. Reincarnation hasn't quite happened in Critical Role yet - Since Molly/Lucien/Kingsley was kinda different, he kinda had the opposite, different mind same body - so it'd be a refreshing new option and also a way to redesign FCG without having to create a whole new cleric (because they definitely need a cleric) with a whole new skillset that the Hells will need to warm towards before the final battle. But at the same time, the soul has to be willing. FCG was content with his sacrifice, and in the arms of the Changebringer would he go back? I'd like to hope so if it's an option, it'd also entertain a whole new character arc for him as a 'real boy' - plus Matt and Sam don't have to fully abide to the D100 rule of what race he turns into. Of course, I like this angle more than needing a new character, because I like happy endings and it makes narrative sense that the Hells would claw and bite to pull him from that sweet goodnight. It would also validate a reason for the Hells to align with the gods, because if divine favour comes into play and the Gods decide against helping Bell's Hells' greatest advocate for saving them then they are foolishly and callously forsaking key players to their survival, FCG reincarnating with the help of the Gods would play a big part in the Hells standing with them rather than losing faith in them, and even with friction between the Titans & Temults and the Gods from the past they would have a common enemy. Still living or dying can have varying effects on the other characters.

Ashton From the moment Ashton met FCG they wanted to make sure this little bot would be okay, that they'd learn to value their life and be able to thrive. While part of that did happen, Ashton is likely going to feel like nothing's changed since Bassuras; knocked out by Otohan and when awakened a friend is dead, another person they couldn't protect.

Before the shard, I think Ashton would very easily fly off the handle, in their anger they'd blame everything including themselves and maybe even consider leaving themselves, it probably have made them more self-destructive too. Now though I'm not so sure, nobody would hold it against them to waver a little on their promise to take care of themselves in a burst of grief, this was after all their best friend someone they looked after like a little brother, and while I can see Ashton quietly and angrily grieving I can also see Ashton double down on trying to keep their promise, making sure that FCG didn't go out like a martyr and that it won't be in vain. FCG reincarnating would assist in Ashton's character drive too, since I feel like they would detest any replacement cleric because it's not FCG, they may also be less abrasive towards the gods if they came through for them and proved that they care - at least to the Changebringer, think they'd still throw copper at the Dawnfather given the whole Angel incident.

Imogen As the nominated leader of Bell's Hells, many will probably look to Imogen Temult for action, the problem is she has her own mother issues to deal with too - and I'm not entirely sold that Liliana has fully made a turn just yet, only that she won't hand over the Hells to Ludinus. FCG's death is gonna produce a lot of guilt from Imogen though, she was detesting the fact that she had to play dead at 1HP while Otohan cut down her friends again, she will likely blame her inaction which in turn may push her to be more aggressive in combat.

At the same time, I can see her being one of the more gung ho characters to push towards the Reincarnate option, perhaps even going as far as to accost or lambast anyone regardless of alliances or rank who she feels isn't as committed. Imogen has been in the position of loss before, and knowing that FCG had a connection with FRIDA she would likely compel herself to fix it rather than have to deliver the bad news. Regardless of whether he reincarnates though I feel like Imogen may look towards some more defensive spells, and maybe through Liliana try to tap into the powers of an Exalted to try and match the power she saw from Otohan, a risky endeavour for sure but FCG took an even greater risk for them.

Orym Orym is probably the toughest of the Hells to read when it comes to FCG's death. There will of course be a deep sadness at the loss of a friend, but I would also sense a...not bitterness but discontent that this is how it went down. Otohan killed his family, he kept fighting her until he could no longer stand because that's what they would've done, and now she's dead but it doesn't make it better, he wasn't the one to do it, he didn't even see it, and the one who did is gone with her. When Bor'dor was killed, Orym coldly reminded himself that 'we're at war', but I don't think he can justify that way with FCG, the loss was greater than the catharsis.

The death also has to turn attention to his deal with Nanna Mori. Many have pointed out that there is a lot of technicalities that may prolong, void or complete the deal; it was never specified how many times the Hells could return from the moon to continue the deal, but at the same time they did technically return from the moon to Exandria safe and sound via the Secret Backdoor. Still, Mori is his best friend's grandmother, there could be leeway on that matter too and even if he does have to commit to the deal (which I call 'Fatekeeper Orym') it's never been explicitly said that Orym needs to constantly attend to Mori in the Feywild, only that he has to be her caretaker and answer her beck and call. However, FCG's death will likely provide a sobering thought that his deal with Mori was perhaps voided, unless there is one more thread he can have her pull. When it comes to seeking options to bring a friend back, I would keep a close eye on Orym - it's not the first time Liam's resolved himself to be damned before.

Fearne Fearne will likely be a linchpin if the Hells seek out Reincarnate. The spell is exclusive to Druids and if Keyleth isn't on hand to do it the task and pressure will fall to her. It'll be interesting how she reacts, I don't wanna say she'll be the most positive of it because she'll certainly be upset, but I can see her being optimistic even if it's to also convince herself, the one who is most encouraging to find a way. As a shipper I of course want her to be the one who comforts and gets through to Ashton while they grieve but if she also is key to his reincarnation that also adds to their slow-burn. Outside of that, FCG's death may also lead into learning about Mori's deal with Orym, which will probably anger her that Orym kept it from her, there is also the fact that having FCG's life in her hands may bring back bad memories of Bassuras and Whitestone. One must also especially worry about her Asmodeus calling card, the Prince of Lies does nothing for free and I still feel like Klask was planted in her path by Asmodeus' (and maybe even Athion's) titan-seeking design.

If FCG does reincarnate though, I could see her friendship with FCG being even greater than it was, since they'll both feel a greater zeal for life - it may also make her feel further distant from her Evil vision, since she will have saved half her friends rather than risked killing them. If not though, Fearne may have to play mediator for the new cleric and may also be pushed towards freeing up more slots for healing to provide more support for the Hells in future battles.

Chetney It's gonna be an interesting one for Chetney too, from one perspective you could see him thinking that FCG traded their life for his; he died, he made peace with that, but then the one who revived him died. Chetney's more personal mindset has often been cloaked in secrecy, perhaps as one of the least open of the Hells despite many claiming him as the Heart of the group, so I wonder if Chetney may harbour some Survivor's Guilt for what happened.

I can see Chetney being the one to keep his emotions close to his chest, even if FCG were to reincarnate he would perhaps try to shrug off that he always knew it'd happen anyway. That being said someone who remains stoic and unwavering may prove a positive or a negative to the group, depending on the person or their interpretation of it. If a new cleric comes along though I could see him being additionally protective of them, having been the new guy before.

Laudna We should all be worried for Laudna right now. The recent 4SD already revealed that Laudna's 'close to the brink' and I'm pretty sure this is the brink. The aftermath of the Otohan fight will likely push each of the Hells to get stronger, since had they hit harder or been able to take stronger blows it wouldn't have come to this, but that will mean bad things when it comes to Laudna, as she may seek to gain power the only way she thinks she can - through Delilah. After all her last two levels went to Sorcery and did little in the fight, whereas her Warlock class Eldritch Blasts hurt Otohan fairly decently, such a thing can linger in the mind for Delilah to manipulate.

It'll be telling if they do try to Reincarnate him whether the damage will have been done already to Laudna, and that the joy of bringing him back turns to tragedy of Laudna losing herself further, as it often does it will fall to how she leans on Imogen, and how open about it she'll be to her. If FCG is lost however, we may have to keep a very close eye on Laudna being next.

Bell's Hells As I mentioned with Laudna, FCG's death will have made something apparent and clear; despite everything Bell's Hells need to get stronger. Even at Lv13, even with Exalted powers, Fey bargains and Titan shards they still just barely escaped a TPK, and granted they were weakened and worn out but no fight is guaranteed to ever be fought at 100%. Otohan may've been the toughest General of the Vanguard but the other Generals - the Weavemind, Zathuda and the Dominon of Cruft Commander - are still not ones to take lightly, Ludinus is still not one to take lightly, and if Liliana is going to be used by him to become a vessel for Predathos, that cannot be taken lightly. Bell's Hells may need to look towards enhancing their stats as well as their equipment, the harness is still a factor too which can boost them all with enough enchanted items at their disposal. An interesting one would be if Otohan's backpack ends up in one of the Hells' hands; many beforehand have talked about Orym being an Echo Knight but I would personally like to see Ashton take it, since it is powered by the Potion of Possibility like their own Dunamancy powers, it's possible (eheh) that they may align in some manner and could you imagine Ashton + 3 Echoes all raging to get All 4 Dunamancies? Otohan's swords may also provide unique properties for Chetney and/or Orym to use. Reincarnation or not I feel like that may be the Hells' next plan once it's discussed whether to attempt Reincarnation and they're off of Ruidus, gathering allies will likely also be something to prepare for for the final battle given how Otohan stated that they have 'enough Ruidusborns' for their plan. As a group it is difficult to tell if this will strengthen or weaken them, it could strengthen them in a 'never again' way like the Nein, but they were also very enthusiastic about bringing Molly back - it drove them through several arcs - FCG however often was the Hells' beacon of hope and the self-imposed attempted therapist, without that the Hells will either have to put it upon themselves to go the extra lengths or they'll close further in on themselves. If FCG does reincarnate I feel like it would definitely strengthen them mentally but if not I am not so sure.

It shouldn't come to a surprise that I will hold onto the Reincarnate potential so that the Hells can get back their friend, but rest assured I'm worried for all of them right now, there are crossroads ahead.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #cr3 spoilers #cr3 #cr3e91 #cr spoilers #bells hells #bell's hells #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #orym of the air ashari #chetney pock o'pea #imogen temult #laudna #fresh cut grass #fcg #sam riegel #matt mercer #taliesin jaffe #ashley johnson #laura bailey #liam o'brien #marisha ray #travis willingham #needed to get it out of my head so you get two posts! #we all had a cry now Matt can we have a little reprieve where we're not losing our minds over the safety and relationships of the group? #we're not meant to stress this many years off our lives we already work too many years for low pay #Matt you can't let him die believing Exandria was flat c'mon!

[cringefuckass]

draft of chapter two for the fic! working title right now is “Hell and Other Things That Don’t Suit Us”. once again this chapter will probably be edited before i’m able to post it to ao3. for now i want to post to tumblr bc i need the motivation of knowing people are aware i’m doing something lol

Angel walked alone down the road, hands in his pockets, only looking around occasionally to see if anyone was nearby. It was late, somehow later than he was use to being kept at work. Valentino kept him back for more of the usual and Angel was tired, exhausted even. He wanted to just get back to the hotel and crash into his bed. Tomorrow he had nothing going on and so he was already formulating his plan for the day in his head. He had to admit to himself, it was exciting. Redemption was possible and that crazy princess proved it. He had a shot, small as it may be, to get away from it all. From Val. To Molly. It was possible. It felt new to him to have a sense of direction in his afterlife and it felt incredible, though if anyone asked him he’d certainly downplay it. Val had jabbed at him over it despite Angel not saying anything out loud. Called him and every other sinner who dared to hope a chump. Perhaps it could be more motivation that Val had zero interest in redemption, he’d never see Heaven and that meant Angel would never see him again if he succeeded. Tired as he was he still had a slight pep in his step as he made his way to the hotel through the dark city streets.

As he turned a corner he saw two other Hell residents making their way through the darkened streets, dimly lit enough that he make out only their shapes. A tall figure was being followed by a shorter one, the taller one having horns that added considerable height. Did Imps grow that big? With a shake of his head he decided he didn’t actually care. They were walking in his direction, though considerably slower than him, as if they weren’t sure of each step they took. As he was gradually approaching them, ready to cross paths and probably never think of them again, he caught parts of their conversation. Or, the taller figures conversation with the air maybe.

“But you know what I mean Lute, this place is a dump,” Angel listened as the tall one, a man by the sound of his voice, rambled on, “a real shitshow. What the fuck are we gonna do?” Oh? Wayward souls perhaps?

“Well, sir, I imagine it’s a free for all down here. We may have to figure it out as we go along.” The shorter of the two, a woman he now knew was named Lute, replied. The man either didn’t listen or didn’t care for her suggestion as he just continued on a new tangent as Angel passed them finally. Not much to go off of, but the two were definitely lost at least. Angel slowed his pace as his thoughts sped up. Helping people is a pretty redeeming quality… and all he’d have to do to get some good boy points is explain what the hotel was and offer to walk them to them there, then it was off his hands and into Charlie’s. He would be helpful while barely having to do anything! Score!

Angel turned on his heels and jogged back up to them, “Uh, hey you two,” He caught their attention. “I couldn’t help overhearing that you two are in some kind of situation.” He gave a winning smile to them, looking back and forth, before realising they were each giving him an unsettled look. Not one he’d have expected from two people who got pulled out of their conversation by a stranger but the kind from people who were downright shocked. The woman in particular looked like she could glare daggers right into him if he said the wrong thing. “Uh. I-I just, heard you talking as I was walkin’ past ya both, it sounded like you were maybe lost?” He was loosing steam. She was unnerving and it didn’t help that the man was ridiculously tall, taller than he had expected up close. It was odd to see someone so close to human but just adjacent enough that she left him unsettled. The only other people he’d met down here who came this close to human had been Charlie and Vaggie so far, and Charlie growing horns occasionally kind of took away from that perception. At least the man, large as he was, had the familiarity of a more inhuman face. “I might just keep walking, I’m sorry to bother ya both!”

“Wait.” Lute spoke finally breaking her stony gaze with a blink. “What help could you possibly offer?” It seemed less like an acceptance and more like a challenge.

“Yeah spindle-slut, what’s your game here?” The man joined, hands on his hips. Angel was beginning to wonder if this was actually going to be worth the effort. They didn’t truly know just yet what redeemed a sinner, he was taking a shot in the dark here because he had been under the assumption this would be easy, a quick invitation and then he was done. It seemed these two were more down for a challenge than anything.

“Okay big boy, keep the names to a minimum when we’re not in the bedroom, capeesh?” Angel saw the woman’s eyes narrow at that. Human as she appeared she still resembled a bird of prey, yellow eyes and feathered neck. “What I was going to say is that if yous are lost I know somewhere that takes people in for free. All you gotta do is play along with with some goody two shoes bullshit and you get a hotel room with no other strings attached. There’s been comerciales for it, the Hazbin Hotel?”

The woman stepped closer to Angel in an aggressive manner, sidestepping the man who looked like he been slapped in the face.

“We have zero interest in some crackpipe dream from a hellspawn like that princess, do you hear me?” The energy radiating from her sucked out the last bit of motivation Angel had for attempting his good deed for the day.

“Okay.” Angel stepped back. “Whatever toots, see ya never.” Angel turned on his heels and strode away. What a waste of time, if he stuck around a second longer he was sure he’d have had to pull out his guns from their hiding place. That conversation was a waste of time and effort, and now he was even more ready to crash in bed the second he got back to the hotel. At least he could say he gave it a shot. Maybe the fact that he tried would count towards whatever toll he was trying to fill.

#hazbin hotel #adam hazbin hotel #lute hazbin hotel #guitarspear #adam x lute #angel dust #hazbin hotel fanfiction #fanfic

[theanoninyourinbox]

I need to know about Brambleclaw in your Longstar au. Tell me everything about that traitor! Please.

Bramblekit was normal, as kits go. Small, maybe a little rough with Snowkit and a bit selfish, not noticing if others were affected by his misadventures or little clawed swipes, but no one save Speckletail and Goldenflower noticed anything amiss. When the fire struck camp, and Fireheart bravely saved him from the flames, he seemed starstruck. Wanted to be a brave warrior who saved everyone!

And then his Father left.

The clan seemed to turn on him all at once. They all hated him! Just him!! (He never saw Goldenflower shudder her tears away, never saw his sister flinch at the stares and whispers. He never saw Fireheart try to shield him, or Longtail glare down the elders. His greatest flaw was never seeing how others felt.) Darkstripe brought him to see Tigerclaw, who promised that HE was protecting Bramble from the horrors of a weak clan, and whispered to the malleable kit lies and half truths and just play along until I take control. So Bramble did.

Then Tawnypaw LEFT HIM TOO. How dare she, he would say to others, how dare she go to the terrible cat and his terrible clan! (How dare she go, he would say to himself, it was supposed to be me! Now I am watched, and cannot meet my fatherteacherleader!!

And in his dreams, Tigerstar came to him. For you, my true heir, the true training of a strong leader. The Miretrees welcomed him with grasping claws, and he relished it.)

(Any guilt or morals were lashed away by the thorns and the shadows of a thousand hateful cats.)

He played his part - saving Whitestorm, mourning the dead and verbally disavowing Tigerstar (he did not fail he still yet lives in the Mire of nightmares), becoming a Brawler (all the better to defend my clan, he says to Longstar) (give me Claws, he says, to redeem the naming of my father, he says), dotes on his mother, hunts and fights and returns in the night to his bloody-bellied fatherkingruler.

He becomes defined, in the secret bloodybeatingcloying spaces of his heart, in the shadows of his mind, by three things.

Pride. Envy. Wrath.

He is Proud of his prowess, of his acting, of his untouched pelt (the claws of the Dark Forest are too slow for him, only catching on his soul) and his place of honor - he is TRUSTED by the falsefoolishleader Longstar, to watch his kits and protect them from danger. HE is the danger that no one sees! HE will sink his teeth into the unprotected spines of the clan! But not yet. Brambleclaw waits. He is Proud to have a true leadershadowboundruler like Tigerstar, the cunning to Brambleclaw's battle skills. He is Proud. And that is a piece of his downfall.

He is Envious, of Longstar and Flamewish. Of Tawnypelt and Foxpaw and Swiftpaw and Darkpaw. And eventually of Hawkfrost and Mothwing and Crowfeather. He WANTS the power to command a clan to move, and be obeyed at every turn! (He does not see the elders balk, Whitestorm advising, the historians and tacticians guiding the clan as well) He WANTS the love of a mate, one who is devoted only to him (he misses the work that Longstar and Flamewish put in to their relationship, their arguments and apologies, the devotion going both ways) (He misses how his sister is loved, by her clan, truly trusted, how Rowanclaw is her FRIEND before her lover) He WANTS his father to be there, to be watching him grow effortlessly (he misses the little spats, the drama, the fears, and does not see the love that the family cultivates) (He could have been another son to the leader, or even the deputy, but it is far too late for that) (He barely recognizes that Goldenflower loves him, cherishes him, and is Proud of him. She does not matter. Mollies' opinions do not matter, his father taught him well) He WANTS a sibling relationship like Hawk and Moth, he WANTS to be cherished by many clans like TadpoleCrowfeather (He is blind to how Tawnypelt loves him, how Stormfur asks for his advice, how Feathertail flirts) (His plans for Foxpawflight are NOT ruined by her affections for ShrewpawLeg he WILL be her mate) He is Envious. And that is a piece of his downfall.

He is Wrathful, his hate of the Clan he was born into catching on his ribcage and twisting in his intestines, burrowing into his marrow. He claws the turf to pieces in fury, how DARE his father leave! He knocks eggs from their nest is rage, how could Tawnypaw leave him too!? He tears the pelts off of rogues and loners, MY FATHERLEADERKING IS NO FAILURE!!! He scatters stones on the cliffsides, why won't Foxpaw realize she's MINE!? He screeches as he drives rogues away, MY BROTHER!! MINE!! He is Wrathful, and that is one piece of his downfall.

He stands over the foolishfalseidiotLongstar, his truebrotheronlyally looking upon him and their prey. Join me finally, Brambleclaw crows, join me and we can be what we were meant to be!

(He has always missed how Hawkfrost looks at Tigerstar, looks at him. With building horror and regret)

And Hawkfrost

Says

No

Brambleclaw is Proud (he trust his battle prowess, but Hawkfrost is quick and lean and won't hoLD STILL)

Brambleclaw is Envious (you are MY BROTHER he screams, and the denial from Hawkfrost cuts through his blackening heart)

Brambleclaw is Wrathful (red tinges his vision, his father's voice in his ears stop him stOP HIM KILLHIM)

The silvery spike in his throat tastes like failure

#my art #warrior cats #warriors #warrior cats au #hello from the void #ask answered #longstar au #new longstar au #brambleclaw #the traitor son #references to the seven deadly sins #dark forest #it gets a lil creepy #he could have been amazing #tadpole is crowfeather #mild gore? #there are descriptions of the Fox Trap Spike

[dent-de-leon]

Obsessed with the idea of Molly being terrified of Lucien, wanting nothing to do with him and insisting that that person is dead because he was scared that Lucien just naturally desired to be cruel and that was something he never ever wanted.

But then Lucien comes back and Molly realising that Lucien largely doesnt WANT to be cruel. But he's been so warped by pain and fear that he thinks that control and possession and manipulation is the only way to keep people from hurting you.

And Molly is like "Oh honey no.... let's get you some therapy."

Molly never wanted to be cruel, ever. But helping someone in pain learn to open up to gentleness and vulnerability? To show kindness? That scares him a lot less and it's what finally leads to their peace. To Kingsley.

Acknowledging and healing Lucien's pain and fear allowed them both to be better

yES!! Mollymauk is so haunted by the little glimpses he sees of Lucien's past, lives in constant fear of those terrifying moments when another life bleeds through. "Whoever it was came to that end, and I want nothing to do with that. Whatever it was, it doesn't feel good when I--when something creeps through, I don't like it. I don't want anything to do with it. I was happy! I liked the circus! The circus was great!"

He crawled his way out of an unmarked grave and woke all alone in the world, reaching for a red moon in the dark. He's always been aware just how fragile his life is, afraid that he'd be sent back to the grave, that his charmed little life at the circus could be torn away from him at any moment--as could his loved ones, like Lestera.

Mollymauk always seemed to believe his time was short, so he always tries to make the most of it. Which involved running away from the past--from anything that could shatter the tentative peace he tried so hard to keep. Whoever Lucien was, Molly knows just enough to instinctively fear him, to believe that all his loved ones would abandon him if they ever knew the truth. During the Zone of Truth, he confesses that, "A lot of this was in the hopes that maybe it would never happen; keep moving, keep quiet."

So I can't agree more--watching Mollymauk face his greatest fear, seeing him finally confront Lucien after all this time--and he's still kind and compassionate enough to try and help him? After everything he did? It's such a pleasant surprise, and just a testament to his character and bleeding heart. I don't think there's many people who'd be able to look at this dark mirror of themselves and have the capacity for love and forgiveness that Molly does.

But of course Mollymauk still wants to help him, still genuinely cares for him. It's, "That's not how we are, Lucien. We love broken things the most." And, "I know what the others think, but the truth is...How do I put this...The world is harsh and cruel, and I don't seem to be able to just walk on by. You see a wrong? You fix it." He saw how much Lucien was suffering, he saw just how painfully alike they are--that they were both "broken," shattered souls--and he couldn't just leave him. He couldn't. Mollymauk just can't bear to abandon someone, and it breaks my heart.

And I think a big part of Lucien's fall also stems from just how much self loathing and disgust he wallowed in, how he clings so desperately to the idea he has this "glint." That he was meant for bigger, better things, that he's somehow fated for so much more--that there's an escape from his painful, bloodstained past in Shadycreek. I think Beau really struck a nerve when she asked, "Do you think you're special, Lucien? I mean, someone who wakes up every day, and thinks they're different, blessed." Because god, he wants to be. He wants to be someone capable and powerful and worthy, craves it more than anything, even as he keeps running away.

He holds onto a stack of letters from his sister that he absolutely treasures, yet he doesn't dare answer any of them--too paralyzed with fear at what she'd think, terrified she'd see the person he'd become. He thinks he's not good enough to go back to her, has nothing at all to offer her. And I think that's part of why he bought into the Somnovem so quickly; he was desperate for a way out. A chance to be more. He needs to have this glint Cree mentioned, because then there's still hope. He can still be someone fortunate enough to take care of his sister, to get them away from Shadycreek forever. He can still be one of the heroes in the little plays he used to perform. He can still change his fate. And, most tempting of all, he can bring his family back.

And it's so sad that his self-depreciation and guilt started so young, that even as a child, he was tormented by all the atrocities his parents forced him to be complicit in. Until Lucien couldn't bear what they'd turned him into anymore, and he makes sure they can't hurt anyone else ever again. "After a while I couldn't let it go on, couldn't look at myself or live with myself, so I burned the caravan with all three of them inside, took my sister, and that was that...No more little songs. No more farces."

Mollymauk is fascinating, because he's another facet of Lucien. He was born from the very same soul. So in one sense, I think Molly reconnecting with Lucien is so beautiful, because it really does feel like a kind of self love and acceptance. But in another way, I think they're almost like family too. It really struck me that Kingsley called Molly a "brother;" just the way that he said, "Everyone should have a brother." It's such a sweet sentiment, especially considering that Lucien had a brother--someone he lost so long ago.

A corpse left buried in the snow. An empty puppet. A hollow, ghastly reminder of the person he once knew. Lucien had a brother, and they were killed, their body desecrated by their own parents. He had a sister, who he was willing to sacrifice everything for, and it still wasn't enough. In the end, even she doesn't trust him anymore, and he's entirely alone. So then here's Molly, and he does the one thing that Aldreda and the rest of his family never did. He decides to stay with Lucien. To reach a hand to him when he needs it the most.

In many ways, Molly is the family that Lucien always wished for. Ironically? If they actually were siblings, I think Lucien would've been very protective of him. Even as things are, Lucien still starts to grow a bit fond of Mollymauk in spite of himself. Starts to slowly regret the life he'd taken from him, as loathe as he is to admit it. "Nothing about this has been easy, and our hard work is at an end. Our chats have been...edifying. Goodbye, Tealeaf. You won't survive where I'm going."

I do think the end of the novel really did reassure me about a lot of why I found C2 heartbreaking, because I like that Molly and Lucien both decided to come back together. That it was a choice they both made, and they both live on as Kingsley. It's Molly getting another chance and yet deciding to bring Lucien back with him, because Molly thinks he deserves it too. It's neither of them being alone. It's both of them returning to the Nein, hand in hand, and deciding to try again--

#kingsley #lucien tavelle #mollymauk /king and lucy my beloveds-- #i am cradling them all so gently in my hands #yES the fact that molly was always so terrified he was once a monster and then realizes that lucien is just like him #that neither of them want to be alone in the world or empty anymore-- #the self love and forgiveness and understanding #molly is just so full of compassion it makes my heart hurt

[dhr-ao3]

Mother Magic's Blessed &amp; Lord Death's Master

Mother Magic's Blessed & Lord Death's Master https://ift.tt/XvKiTRj by LittleSerpent21 Mother Magic was angry. Lord Death was livid. Someone dared mess with what was theirs. They had so few to cherish and this lowly human thought himself above them all. Fate may be stronger, but they were smarter. There would be nothing to stand in the way of them whilst they fixed what this despicable human tried to destroy. Now if only they could get their blessed on the right track, and Death's Master awakened; that would help greatly. And if they could do it before their older sister became aware, that'd be even better. Once things were righted, not even Fate could stop them. Words: 4148, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi Characters: Harry Potter, Tom Riddle | Voldemort, Severus Snape, James Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Barty Crouch Jr., Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Nagini (Harry Potter), Ron Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Bill Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Molly Weasley, Albus Dumbledore, Order of the Phoenix, Death Eater Characters, Minerva McGonagall, Filius Flitwick, Lady Magic, Lord Death, Fate - Character, Neville Longbottom, Slytherin Students, Luna Lovegood Relationships: Harry Potter/Tom Riddle, Harry Potter/Voldemort, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Regulus Black/Barty Crouch Jr., Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Additional Tags: Soul Bond, Past Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Ron Weasley Bashing, Molly Weasley Bashing, Ginny Weasley Bashing, Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Good Slytherins, Good Parent Severus Snape, Severitus | Severus Snape is Harry Potter's Parent, Depressed Harry Potter, Sane Tom Riddle, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter Friendship, Pureblood Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom & Harry Potter Friendship, Good Friend Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood Being Luna Lovegood, Luna Lovegood & Harry Potter Friendship, Dark Harry Potter, Dark Hermione Granger, Dark Neville Longbottom, Dark Luna Lovegood, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter Friendship, Protective Hermione Granger, Good Malfoy Family (Harry Potter), Abused Harry Potter, Implied/Referenced Torture, Tortured Harry Potter, Scars, Good Voldemort (Harry Potter), Possessive Tom Riddle, Smitten Tom Riddle, Inheritance, Creature Inheritance via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/fxJI8vn April 09, 2024 at 12:48AM

#IFTTT #Dramione #Draco x Hermione

[jamlocked]

For the Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🍓 🥑🥤🧃🍄🍬🔪🌸

(SORRY COULD NOT DECIDE)

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

WELL. It happened because I found out I was shit at writing. I'd been abroad for three months and it was mental (not really in a good way) and I was like, 'this is the book I've been wanting to write'. So I came home and started to write it and, dear God, it was terrible. Not too long after that I discovered fandom and saw some fan fiction for the first time. And some of it was SO GOOD, which I wasn't aware could be possible with fanfic (lol, right?) So I got absorbed in that and one day thought, 'well, maybe I should try because I already know these characters and it'll be good practice so I can learn to write my own stuff well'.

Guess what, it was.

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@lvsifer You mate, obviously. Pfft, as if that were even in question. <3 (Though I question the word 'help'. Help me commit the murder? Yes, of course.)

(...thinking further, I also question the word 'accientally' in this scenario, particularly if @lvsifer was there with me, which he would be.)

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

There are so many I could choose but I'm going to go with Sforzando simply because it's open in a tab right now so I can start another re-read, and that says it all really. I would link another one from an old fandom as well because it was beyond stunning and broke my entire soul a few years ago, but I can't remember the full name to link it.

  🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

My own personal lore? Hmm. Can't remember what I have and haven't posted about. I'll go with my one severe phobia, which is shipwrecks. And that's all I'm going to say about it otherwise I'll start thinking about them and that is Unpleasant.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

When Jim was a teenager he spent a long time debating whether to introduce himself to Sherlock. He didn't because he was scared, both of rejection and of it not living up to what he dreamed about. It's the only time he's ever really felt fear and he hates that he caved into it, given how Sherlock wasted years of his life on drugs and then became mostly ordinary.

I guess that's not really a pairing thing. So...in a world where Jim and Sherlock date or spend time together domestically, they frequently fight over food. Jim doesn't care about it but people have to eat, so he's going to eat well. Sherlock's diet of takeaways and beans on toast is unbearable. In the end, he forces Sherlock to learn to cook (by telling him it's entirely beyond his talents and 'yes, this is the most basic reverse psychology darling, but also, it's completely true') and Sherlock is so annoyed at not being able to tell what he means he becomes an amazing chef. And enjoys it. It's basically chemistry when it comes down to it.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

Sherlock was never and will never be in love with John. Or Molly.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I mean, there's a long list. Wind speeds over coastal Mexico? Wheel widths of early 19th century French carts? The political system of Bulgaria was quite interesting.

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

...mate, if you wanted to see pics of Coco you could have just WhatsApp'd me. :D

THIS IS COCO, ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL.

<3 <3 <3

#all about meme #writing #coco

[grayintogreen]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Chapter 28 is crawling at a snail's pace, but I have a snippet for you today! Featuring a familiar baddie.

-

The porch creaked when he stepped on it, but it was sturdy underneath his feet. The door had been left opened a crack and he pushed it open enough to slip inside, carefully avoiding closing it all the way. Already, Isharnai was seated at her table, bent over it so there was barely any room for him to exist without her in his space. Not one to ever be daunted by personal space invasion, he took the seat and scooted as close as he dared.

“Now, what will I be doing here? A three card spread? More? I can give you the full if you like. It’s not inexpensive, but I’m sure we can work out an arrangement.”

Isharnai chuckled. “And what arrangement would that be?”

Molly shuffled his cards. “The goblin girl outside- you recognized her, right?”

“I did.” She breathed in like she was scenting a bouquet of the finest wine in all the land. “Her misery has been… exquisite.”

“What is all of this about misery anyway?” He cut the deck, shuffled again, trying every combination he knew to slip cards to the top of the pile, but the hag was watching too closely. Every movement he made was weighed and measured by someone who had been doing this much longer than he had.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t be tricked. He just needed to keep her off-balance, convince her that he was more powerful than he was. He took one hand off the cards and pushed his coat to the side to show the red eyes on his neck, subtly. Keep your eyes on those.

“I enjoy being tethered to it. It feeds me. I have no use for material possessions or baubles, though I occasionally collect them.” She gestured to a shelf towards the back, lined with trinkets and what looked like a pile of bloody bandages towards the edge. “You seek to lift your friend’s curse, I’d wager?”

“A betting woman, then? Perhaps we’re playing the wrong cards.”

Isharnai ignored the careful attempt at playfulness. Her eyes still hadn’t left his hands. “You would ask me to give up such a delicious drip to break her curse, would you?”

“Surely you can find better misery. Who knows? Perhaps my cards will lead you to the most miserable soul in Wildemount and-“

Her hand shot out, catching him by the wrist. The cards he was shuffling fluttered to the table and he froze, horrified, as she leaned over him, her hot, rancid breath in his face as her jowls dripped saliva. “I know who the most miserable soul in Wildemount is. He stands so very close to me now.” Her grip tightened. She reached for the amulet around his neck and grazed a long, bony finger over it.

“But I require fresh misery… Old misery is tasteless. It does not give me sustenance the way new, continuous misery, given to me freely. If you would like your friend restored, what would you give up? What would any of you give up?”

Molly swallowed. Not that. Not even for Nott. Not for anyone. Bolstered by nothing more than a strong determination to not show fear, he forced a tight smile. “So is that a no on the card reading?”

She released his hand and stared at him with an unnerving faux-saccharine smile until he collected his cards and rushed out the door. “Didn’t work!”

#cr fic #critical role fic #mollymauk tealeaf #isharnai #wip wednesday #you can't deny high noon

[the-acid-pear]

Okay i don't have the brain power to watch the rest of NRN NAT video but god that first half was horrendous anyway here's my "Reason You Suck" Speech for anyone who cares

Okay i actually got so railed up about this i got a headache so i need to counter argue to many of your points about Steven. Starting with something i see a lot of people not realize and is that yes, indeed, all endings ARE canon. This is pretty clearly explained by Henry in the secret tape (you get it from fishing it out the ballpit or from the dodo, both very annoying methods so i dont blame anyone from missing this) and it explains Jack's soul is one with time powers that will revert time based on regret. With this, we know not only EVERY ending and game over is canon but also something Jack remembers.

Keeping this on mind, Jack's obvious bias towards Dave compared to Steven MAKES sense, because there's no timeline where Steven is nice unless he's doing it out of being forced to do so (owing you a favor). On top of that, there's another detail: Jack DID know about Dave's backstory!

When he learned it is obviously not clear but there's to places where its implied he does, in fact, know about it: Dee's fight, obviously, and Jake's backstory. In Dee's fight she asks him for confirmation on whether this was true and he's like "yeah" meaning this isnt news for him, and in Jake's backstory he talks about this EVEN if he didnt go to the flipside or heard the tapes, meaning that at some point he had an honest heart to heart with Dave about his past and such.

Now, relating it back to Steven: I feel that they cannot even be fucking compared. I think Steven would be better compared to the other two phone guys we see making a decision like this, those being Harry (ironically the one who made Steven) and Peter. I mean, Roger and Jake are also in the same situation, but they're just following what their boss says so they cannot be counted in.

Peter for his part is an outlier, because he's the first Phone Guy we EVER see decide to not send someone to the factory (that being Jimbo), completely ignoring what this would mean for him (if anything, since we don't really know if there are consequences or not). Harry and Steven, obviously, did send their respective coworkers there, but there's a main difference: Steven was utterly remorseful about this while Harry kind of... thought genuinely this was a good idea?

Which does say a lot about how Harry views himself but it also says something about Steven: that he's a fucking coward. Which we did, in fact, know, but this reinforces it.

Steven made a choice by his own voalition, and i don't think this is even fair to compare with Dave. Dave was being abused and manipulated by his father figure and the only person who had ever been nice to him, the only person he thought he had in the world. He was regretful too but he really wanted to trust Henry because what did he have if he left? Steven on the other hand is not being "molly cuddled" by anyone but a manual.

This isnt to say Steven isnt tragic, he is! He, like everyone else, is a complex and tragic character who did unfortunately go quite unexplored, but he's also a bad person because he chooses to be so. He'd have been like Peter, he'd have broken the cycle, he'd have done anything a man aware of the weight of his actions could do, but he didn't, because he was scared!

Also i must point out this very cowardice also reflects on his own violence because to say he's not as bad as Peter is just plain bullshit. Peter was a bit more festive yes but he at least let you Pee On Slides and Gave You Warnings. Steven kicked me in the fucking springlocks because my puns were bad. That guy was brutal and cruel but also wouldnt dare to kick Jack's ass if he was out of that stupid cool cat suit.

So, to wrap this up now that my blood pressure went to safe levels again: when you look at the whole picture Jack's feelings towards Dave and Steven are not entirely unjustified. The way that tangerine goes about doing anything at all is highly questionable though but he's like everyone else just a flawed individual. And that's what makes this franchise so compelling

#luly talks #i feel like ill shit myself out of stress if i hear her say another word #this is just shit analysis man YOU DONT GET IT #the way she talks about dave and jack tho is so funny like god i think i ship them more than before #but she's like HE LIKES THAT GUY TOO MUCH 👎👎👎 like god forbid a man is a faggot 🙄 #see literally that's the only thing i didnt think of before but now i changed my mind like yknow yeah #maybe you're right maybe jack does care about dave way more than i give him credit for #god i need something to relax i seriously im in pain rn I HAVE A PILL #I HAVE A PILL THIS IS LIKE CHRISTMAS FOR ME NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENS TO LULY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #dsaf

[ashes-in-a-jar]

The Sheridan Tapes episode 64

Oh boy lots to think about in this episode, big lore drop but not of the classic kind, more of the abstract kind, what Sam is and what he can and is supposed to do...

(edit: this got long so I'm putting it under a read more)

Amanita says that Sam is a conduit to beings and powers beyond this world, bigger than just the lake he thought he was connected to, and his connection to these beings gives him the ability to connect, recognize and manipulate other beings like himself, since they are all connected to the same beings "beyond the veil ". But beyond that, Sam is unique because he is also more empathetic and able to manipulate the psyche of humanity than other beings like her and Ned and the Echo... I assume it's because Sam was created out of a human originally and was allowed (or allowed himself) to grow and mature as one. I think this is his greatest strength and his biggest vice given what it caused him to do.

The realization of the enormity of his wrong doings, that all of the victims in agate shore were because of him, because he chose to suppress his knowledge of who he is thus creating a darkness inside of him that controlled that power and ran rampant with it outside of his conscious control... That must be doing a number on his guilt... No wonder his next thought and (false) interpretation of Amanita's words is saving Molly at all costs... Poor guy

The process Amanita described was needed in order for him to control his powers is a lot like therapy. Accepting yourself helps you understand who you are and your options better which gives you control over yourself and your life... But in Sam's case human therapy definitely wasn't enough.

Amanita's allusion to Sam's role in this whole story is also very interesting, it definitely seems like what was said here is going to come into play in the finale... Sam is meant to be a seeker, of truth, of lost things and his ability to project memories of things (himself, the universe at large) onto reality, recording them like tape onto objects in the physical realm is supposed to somehow help with that. Help with... Finding and restoring things that were broken and lost in places only he can reach with his powers... Restoring Anna? Hmmmm

You are a seeker — a finder, one who walks between worlds, on paths no other soul would dare to tread. And one day soon, your steps will lead you down a path darker than any you’ve walked before: to restore what is broken — to make amends — and to find—

So interesting that this paragraph is also quoted in the cold open of this episode, mirrored by Morrison in the tunnels, who, like Bill, still has a mental link to Amanita. He finishes her thoughts "to find - The one who was lost." I wonder if he's mistakenly convinced she is talking about him and his higher purpose rather than Sam's...

I also love the list of physical things Amanita mentions can be manipulated and affected by the powers of the spiritual realms from beyond the world: "the roots of fungi, the depths of the sea… streams of data, plastic mockeries of men, radio waves, and tar..." I still love Sam being of the water and Ned being of tar, there's something deeper to be said about it which I can't think of rn

#wooo long post huh #tst relisten #the sheridan tapes #good for amanita taking time out of her day to give sam some monster training and therapy lol

[spuddlespud]

Manuscript Search/Find the Word Tag

Tagged by:

@primroseprime2019 💜: walk, surprise, allow and impress

@blind-the-winds 💜: young, yearn, yelp, yellow, and yes.

@eccaiia 💜: happy, hurt, head, hour, and hole!

@winterandwords 💜: thought, though, through and tough

I tag: @aohendo @inkspellangel @talesofsorrowandofruin @ahordeofwasps @bardic-tales @untethereddreams @theglitchywriterboi @junypr-camus @frostedlemonwriter

Your words are: run, rain, real, road

Walk

So when Charlie just walked up to her and said with a smile ‘You’ll never guess what happened last night!” Andi knew she was in for some tale of the miraculous, some fresh nonsense.

Surprise - A Workers Guide to Demonology

I'm the first to admit that I detest most things about this human meatsack I'm lugging around, but it has a nice belly, a belly that can hold plenty of sustenance for my soul-devouring spirit. I'm surprised that I'm starting to feel somewhat...protective of this body. It almost feels like it's me that's been insulted by the titters around the office and the insolent humans eye roll.

Allow - A Short Way to an Angry AI

"Language!" Despite having the foulest mouth of any sentient being Riley had ever known, Sadie took every little opportunity to chastise her crew for the same faux pas. She said living beings should know better. AI's had a lot of shit to remember and deal with, as well as stupid crews putting them in stupid situations, they could be allowed a little swear every now and again, as a treat.

Impress - Dragonbreath and Skelefellas

Saph was just having a peaceful morning minding her own business and  polishing her knife collection when Skully clattered into the room. The  necromancer wasted no time in sweeping Saph’s mini workshop half off the  table and replacing it with an impressive pile of papers and books. It  was only thanks to Saph’s well developed reflexes that she managed to  save her magic polish from a tumble to the floor.

Young - Contained World Potions

So, young apprentice, whatever you do, don't you dare open the Contained World.

Yearn - none

Yelp - Untitled

Erika's sword swung down, meeting the knights shield with a clang and following through with a kick to his kneecap. The other knight let out an undignified yelp, only just managing to keep his balance.

Yellow - Old Inn Door

Mabel pushed the sheets of her body, revealing her old yellowing slip. Her hair stuck up in a sweaty clump on her forehead, leaving her jealous of Robin's short cropped hair.

Yes - A Worker's Guide to Demonology

Her malleable little human soul is no match for my domineering spirit. Even a level 1 demon would be able to...Harry! Molly! Yes it's me can you hear me?"

Happy - The Familiarity Between the Owl and the Pussycat

Séamus burst through the window twittering and going on and on about Midnight and all the uncouth things the cat had done. Bathsheba tuned most of it out, focusing on the herbs she was trying to organise into the correct order on the wall. She let out a low hum every once in a while to keep Séamus happy as he twittered on.

Hurt - A Worker's Guide to Demonology

"How dare you refer to me, the burner of galaxies, the tamer of snakes as 'it'?!"

"Ah look you've hurt its feelings now"

"It!?"

Head - Untitled Werewolf WIP

John's pale skin looked washed out under the fluorescent light of the office. His head was in his hands.

Hour - A Short Way to An Angry AI

As funny as the 'your majesty' caper had been, Celeste could tell it was starting to get on Riley's nerves. They'd been stewing in their room for the last two hours after the burnt toast and toilet incident, and when a crew consists of two humans and an AI there isn't really any space for long term disagreements. That's how disasters happened.

Hole - A Worker's Guide to Demonology

The other one, in a holey tshirt and scruffed up hair, seems more amused than concerned. "Feeling a bit worse for wear?"

Thought

But the fears and the sins of you alive humans are just another thing entirely. Another dialect almost, as your species is very clever at distracting yourselves above ground. I suppose your brains only have room for a limited number of thoughts at a time.

Though - A Short Way to an Angry AI

"It's nothing you haven't said before, Sadie," Celeste admonished, before turning to Riley.  "She has a point though, it was a bit insulting."

Through - A Short Way to an Angry AI

"Riley....Riley." The ever calm voice spread throughout the room, cutting into Riley's sleep. Fucking AIs!

Riley rolled over with a groan, pulling their pillow over their head. "Sadie, power down."

"'Sadie, power down'" the mocking voice repeated "You disabled that command remember. You said you we're fed up with missing your wake up call."

Tough

“Go fuck yourself”

“I’d rather fuck you”

“Tough, I’m too busy doing monster things”

#tag games

[buckets-and-trees]

DARE: ok so you've written bucky as a mermaid and bucky as a minotaur, but what about a character as another mythical creature—werewolf, vampire, incubus, or something else?? (apologies if you've written others i just didn't see them!!) - @witchywithwhiskey

since I did a run of Minotaur Bucky asks, this seems like a great one to finish out the second day of the sleepover...

THANK YOU, MOLLY!

You are correct - only I've only got Mer!Bucky and Minotaur!Bucky in my library so far.

I want to do something this fall during spooky season.

What I want to do is an Incubus!Bucky. But in this one I'm gonna be honest and say that right now I don't feel like I can do it. In this niche of the fandom, I feel like there are some truly wonderfully epicly good Incubus!Bucky stories, and while I have no problem writing my own story where there are already many others (mafia to a Stucky post-end game AU in Brooklyn to royal AUs), I don't feel like I have a story that I could tell yet that's unique enough for me to want to trot out my own Incubus!Bucky. I don't want to compete with what is out there - don't get me wrong - it's just that I don't want to write something that I'm not desperate to add to the collections of what's out there, if that makes sense?

Hahaha, this might be stupid, but on the table next to me right now I have two Starbucks tumblers, and this is maybe the best analogy for that. I in no way needed to buy two of these cups. I don't need five of them. But between my tumblers from Starbucks and my tumblers from Disneyland/Disney World, how many do I have? Eleven. There is no logical reason for me to have eleven of them. But my soul was desperate to own each of the ones that I do. (I also know this because I recently went through my cup cupboard and took the ones I didn't want anymore and donated them to the local thrift store.)

So when my soul snags on a story for Incubus Bucky that I know at least I will love as much as what's already out there, not gonna do it.

And kinda feel the same about werewolves and vampires and any other beast or creature. If I have the right story, I'll write anything.

(and I will say I'm highly susceptible to inspo/suggestions when they are presented in delicious and tempting ways)

Link to the List of Sleepover Games

#molly/witchywithwhiskey #aspen's anniversary sleepover #sleepover dare #aspen asks

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

The Snake Who Lived: What if Harry made Slytherin? (Year 1)

(What started as a simple ask from one of my anons prior to the #InboxPurgeOf23, has now evolved into a full, multi-post AU. Proceed at your own risk.)

So the first question we need to ask ourselves is how this happens?

The "Out of Sorts" TLSQ in Hogwarts Mystery seems to confirm what fans have speculated for years: That Harry's canon Sorting wasn't a rarity or a fluke. The Hat sorts students based on what they want. Perhaps not always on what they directly ask for, as Neville begged for Hufflepuff - but I suspect he dreamed of being a daring Gryffindor hero, (especially if his parents went there) but felt as though he was unworthy and would never be brave enough. That he would never rise to the occasion. But the Hat could see into the deepest corners of his mind, and knew what he truly wanted - even if Neville himself wasn't conscious of it entirely. The Hat did the same thing when it came to the Sorting of Tulip Karasu.

Harry didn't particularly want to be a Gryffindor. All he asked of The Sorting Hat was not to place him in Slytherin. The Hat was on the fence about these two Houses, and it chose to respect a genuine wish on Harry’s part, especially since he was offered the chance at obtaining great power - which he immediately rejected. That, itself, is pretty non-Slytherin in the first place. But what led to this point of view? What caused Harry to feel this way? Mostly a combination of Draco being Sorted there, Hagrid and Ron warning him against them, and probably his finding out that Voldemort was a Slytherin as well. I'm not seeing how Harry could shake that instinct unless we just flat-out erase these events from the story, but that feels a bit cheap. So long as we're doing that, we could just as easily have Harry run into Lucius at King's Cross instead of Molly, y'know? (I’ve read the fanfics. I know how these things go.) 

Something we cannot forget is that Harry has two souls. I feel like that changes way more than we realize, but the bottom line is that there's no reason The Sorting Hat couldn't pick up on that second presence. "It's all here, in your head." We all know what Voldemort's Soul Fragment would have wished for if it was given a say, and why couldn’t it be?. If The Hat were to be thrown off, confused by the warring opinions that Harry himself isn’t even aware of...it could have come to another decision. So in our AU, that's exactly what happens. The Hat seemingly ignores Harry's pleading and Sorts him into Slytherin House.

So what happens next? Let’s take this book by book. 

Once they’re in the Dormitories, Draco reaches out to Harry once more, gloating that he was right, and he "knew" Harry was no blood traitor. He asks if Harry now intends to play nice. Harry, reminded of Dudley and still loyal to Ron, rebuffs him again. At which point, Harry likely begins sleeping in the Common Room, either by his own decision or because he's forced out by Draco’s gang. Or maybe it’s more ambiguous. 

Snape has no idea what to make of Harry. James Potter's son, his worst enemy’s doppelganger...but he has Lily's eyes, and he made Slytherin. So I think Snape reserves judgment until he has the chance to observe Harry. From Harry's perspective, even the Head of Slytherin is strangely distant and he doesn’t know why, but he definitely does not appreciate it.

Though he and Ron were friends prior to the Sorting, Ron is young and immature with an Anti-Slytherin bias. His opinion of Harry would change after this, even if he’d still see Harry as redeemable. The fact is, if he were to treat Harry any lesser for his Sorting, (and he would. I love Ron but he would.) I don’t think Harry would take it well. He wouldn’t be the bigger person. We know this because of how the two of them handle their fights in the canon ‘verse. Harry would try to reach out to Ron but at this point, I don't see it turning out well for either of them. Ron would make some kind of comment that Harry would snap back against, and they’d fight. They'd have a falling out.

I am pleased to say that Hagrid would likely not think any less of Harry, certainly not after a single conversation with him. He'd see how miserable Harry was, and offer up tea and rock cakes. He'd still refuse to reveal anything about Snape or the Gringott's break-in, but he's Hagrid, so Harry still gets the scent. Not that matters, as you’ll see, since Harry doesn’t wind up learning a lot of things in this book that he otherwise would have. 

The Midnight Duel doesn't happen the same way, if at all. Draco and Harry live together so he wouldn't be able to lure him out of bounds after dark. Meaning Harry never discovers Fluffy. Harry would still stand up to Draco in the first Flying lesson, and Ron would take notice of this. But I don't see Harry making the Quidditch team, at least not this year. McGonagall isn't really in a position to appoint him Slytherin Seeker, and why would she do that in the first place? Nonetheless, Harry's reputation in Slytherin plummets. But his reputation with the other Houses slowly improves.

Halloween on the other hand, that changes quite a lot. Ron never complains about Hermione to Harry, as they're not speaking right now. He probably complained about her to Seamus or Dean, but either way, it wasHarry in the original timeline, who spearheaded this adventure. He was the one to suggest they search for Hermione, and in this timeline, he doesn't even know she's missing. He barely knows she exists. So does Hermione just...die? The teachers could save her, but they don't know she's missing either. Harry and Ron got to her a lot sooner, and Hermione directly states that if they hadn’t..oh. Actually, yes. As horrible as it is to say, the troll kills Hermione. Well holy hopscotch Batman, we’re in real AU territory now. 

The school now collectively mourns the poor, brilliant first year, and Harry is appalled to see Draco and his cronies celebrating her death. (Sorry Draco fans, but we all know he would.) Meanwhile, Ron, of course, blames himself and sinks into a depression. The attempt on Harry's life during the Quidditch match doesn't happen, since he's not Seeker. Still, Quirrell would find some other way to try and kill him, whatever that might be. But the school is on high alert after Hermione's death and Snape has been watching Harry like a hawk. He stops the attempt, but Harry likely misunderstands and assumes Snape is trying to kill Quirrell. His scar also sears with pain for a second time when this happens, and he notices the correlation to Snape.

Harry now begins to suspect Snape of letting the Troll in, though Hagrid shoots this idea down. Meanwhile, Harry hasn't had nearly as much opportunity to be caught breaking the rules, so Snape has less excuse to proclaim him as Mini James. In fact, Harry sticking up for Neville against Draco would stand out. As a Slytherin who once failed to stand with his Gryffindor, Muggleborn friend...I think Snape would see in Harry what he should have been. Granted, it's Snape, so he still hates Harry for this, but it's a different kind of hatred. It’s complicated and confusing for him, but it’s also a strange kind of respect. And also envy. 

Harry never finds The Mirror because he never goes into the Restriction Section. Keep in mind, he only learned about Nicholas Flamel from Hagrid, and that only happened because he already knew about Fluffy. Which at this point, he doesn’t. Perhaps Quirrell might have tried to lure Harry to Fluffy in an attempt to kill him, but that’s veering into speculation. So I’m gonna say Harry doesn't know about The Mirror or Flamel.

Nonetheless, Dumbledore would summon Harry to his office at this point to check in on him. Harry, friend-starved as he is, vastly appreciates this. He likely admits how miserable he is in Slytherin, and perhaps even asks to try The Hat on again. Whether or not Dumbledore consents doesn't change anything because both he and The Hat would give Harry the same advice: That he belongs in The House he was placed in, but this will not stop him from making his own choices. Dumbledore gives cryptic advice about Harry needing to make his own decisions and figure out what he "truly desires." It's also at this point that Harry begins to sleep in the dormitory again, after Dumbledore promises to have a "talk" with his roommates.

Inspired by Dumbledore's life advice, Harry once more reaches out to Ron. While it's possible that Hermione's death would affect the Weasley's decision to visit Charlie, this is also his first year away from home, so let's say it still happens. After all, Arthur and Molly wouldn’t know about Ron’s “role” in her death unless he told them, which I doubt he did. Harry attempts to bond with Ron, to rekindle their friendship. Ron initially lashes out before breaking down and finally confessing to his indirect role in Hermione's death. Harry urges him not to blame himself. Ron now echoes Harry, having a death that traumatized him on Halloween, and Ron can point this out. For his part, Harry wouldn't have known until now that his parents died on Halloween. This may come up later. 

Next term sees Harry and Ron back to being tentative friends, but it's still not the same as the bond they had prior to the Sorting. Time heals all wounds, we’ll just have to see. Meanwhile, it's quite shocking to me how much doesn't happen, how little Harry knows compared to the Gryffindor timeline. But I think he would still learn about Norbert(a) since he could easily be visiting Hagrid without a plot related reason. This plotline would go largely the same way - Harry has bonded with Ron and now knows about Charlie, so that's still the answer. Ron still gets bitten, Draco still interferes and gets caught, though this time I assume it's Snape who catches him as he's been Harry's unseen bodyguard and Harry still gets detention.

Neville isn't there since he and Harry don't share a House, it's just Harry and Draco this time. Snape still punishes them harshly, or at least he does for Harry. This is the first time that, in his mind, Harry has shown James-like qualities, and in Snape's twisted psyche, that's as much a betrayal as it is anything else. He'd believed in the boy. He'd dared to open his mind, to consider the idea that the boy was more Lily than James… but as it turns out, Potter is just another arrogant rule-breaker like his father.

I don't see him taking House points from Slytherin, his favoritism is still too blatant. But the Forbidden Forest detention would still happen. Draco and Harry both go, as does Hagrid and - here's a surprise - Snape himself. I suppose Draco doesn’t have to go - as it’s Snape, he could probably talk his way out of this, but honestly it doesn’t much matter. Either way, Snape sneaks in after them. Suspecting Quirrell/Voldemort of being behind the Unicorn murders, and knowing that Harry is bound to lure him out. I honestly think this was Dumbledore's plan all along, and the reason Harry was sent into The Forest for his detention, even in the OG books. Whether or not Snape approved, he would continue to guard Harry from the shadows.

Which means that it's not Firenze who saves Harry, at least, not alone. Snape attacks Quirrell as well, and since he's carrying a wand, he has the means to subdue everyone's favorite stammering Death Eater. In other words, Quirrel is captured. Snape escorts Harry and Draco up to the school while Harry asks for answers. Why would Quirrell kill a Unicorn? How did Snape know it was him? Does this have something to do with Snape trying to kill Quirrell before? Snape refuses to comment, but returns the boys to the Slytherin Dungeons and warns them to say nothing. With no one else to talk to, Harry asks Draco for input, but having been in genuine danger, Draco is pale faced and quiet.

The next day at breakfast it is announced that Professor Quirrell has sadly passed away of some cause or other. Harry nearly swallows his fork - not daring to believe that Snape actually killed him. He wants to go see Dumbledore straight away, but Dumbledore already wanted to see him, and Draco, to set the record straight and make sure they're alright. He explains that Quirrell was possessed by Voldemort, who left his body after he was captured and that Quirrell subsequently died because of the possession. He sends Draco, who looks far too excited at the idea, to his classes. Dumbledore communicates further with Harry and reveals Snape's history with James - further revealing that James was a Gryffindor. Now Harry doesn't know what to think. He feels like a failure, as though he's let his father down. Here is also the first moment that he truly begins to dislike Snape, though we'll see if that sticks.

From here, things are quiet until the end of the school year. Harry doesn't know about Fluffy, the Trapdoor, The Mirror, or the Stone. He has no reason to go poking around the Corridor. What's more, Voldemort has left Quirrell's body. His disembodied spirit is now in the Forbidden Forest, which may be a game changer for later. On the other hand, he might simply go back to Albania, though I don't know why he would. He’d likely just possess various creatures in the forest, still sniffing about for information. Slytherin wins the House Cup. Apart from Hermione's death, not a lot changes. Except the Stone is never discovered and therefore it probably isn't destroyed.

So there we have it. The first year of Harry as a Slytherin. Future years coming soon!

#Harry Potter #Harry Potter AU #Harry Potter Fanfiction #Harry Potter Fanfic #Slytherin House #Severus Snape #Harry James Potter #Ron Weasley #Draco Malfoy #Lord Voldemort #Slytherin Harry #Hermione Granger

[ertrunkenerwassergeist]

Do you have anything written for To Live is to Die Twice that you are willing to share?

I just looked through my folder and found something. More than I expected, actually. XD (It's not edited at all though, so beware the mistakes)

Here you go

Mors drifted through the In Between, guided by the gentle prodding of a presence just beyond his understanding, until it suddenly stopped and sensations came rushing back all at once. The experience was so jarring he forgot he was supposed to breathe. His lungs felt like iron bands were clamped around them, burning hot and ice cold at the same time.

He could hear something. It was warbled, like someone trying to talk underwater and his ears were full of cotton. Something crashed into his chest and if he had had any breath left, he would have gasped. A spark ran through him. It was some kind of magic, but it was gone too quickly for him to say what kind of magic it had been. It could have been a lightning spell trying to fry him from the inside out for all he knew.

Suddenly he could breathe.

Greedily he sucked in gulps of air and blinked blearily against the golden half-light. Was this how souls arrived in the Ring of the Lucii? If so, it sucked balls.

An unbidden groan made its way past his lips. Somebody was talking again in hushed tones and gentle words, but his brain was too scrambled to make out what was being said. Fingers carded through his hair. This was embarrassing. Showing weakness like that in front of his ancestors and needing to be molly coddled like that.

Mors forced his eyes open – it took more effort than he thought it would – with the intention to make the person stop whatever they were doing and came up short as he stared up at a cracked ceiling. It must have been beautiful once, a distant part of his brain – the part that had always had an interest in architecture his own father had never truly allowed him to pursue, not that it had stopped him, of course – voiced as his eyes trailed the crumbling stucco and the bits of plastering that still held traces of colour.

This wasn't the Ring of the Lucii.

Where by Bahamut's bladed wings was he?

The fingers carded through his hair again and he flinched back. As it turned out, whipping his head around was a bad idea. Black spots crowded his vision and nausea made his stomach lurch rather unpleasantly. Mors was sure he would have vomited all over the scratchy bedsheets, if his stomach hadn't been empty already.

He forced himself to take a few deep breaths until he didn't feel like his whole world was spinning around him in a dizzying array of shadows and soft light anymore. The frame of the bed creaked ominously as he shifted his weight to gain a better look at the person, whose fingers should fucking stop already.

It was a young man who looked like he had barely hit twenty – if that – with an unruly mop of long, black hair that currently obscured half his face, and striking violet eyes. There were thin lines tattooed around his eyes and along the cheek and temple of the left side of his face. Mors suppressed a derisive snort. If Regis had dared to do something like this he would have beaten him black and blue for disrespecting his family line like that.

The stroking of his hair finally stopped as the young man seemed to get the hint that his touch wasn't welcome. Mors couldn't help the unbidden sense of loss-emptiness that washed through him and squashed it down mercilessly.

A soft sigh rushed past the young man's lips and they twisted into a slight smile as Mors's eyes focused on him.

“Finally with me again? You had all of us worried.”

With a furrowed brow Mors inched further away along the bed until his back hit the wall. Only now that he could feel the old stone at his back, did he realize how cold the air hitting his face was. He shivered in the warm cocoon of the blankets he was wrapped in, and scowled at his own reaction. He was a King of Lucis, and not some pampered noble that wouldn't know the sharp edge of a blade, even if it hit him in the face. But here he was, barely able to move, limbs heavy and without the strength to summon a weapon.

Then it registered what the young man had said. What did he mean 'again'? Wait, no. That wasn't as important as: “What do you mean 'us'? Who are you?”

He snapped the words out with all the air of a man who knew his questions would be answered – or else. His mouth clicked shut sharply as he heard the sound of his own voice. This wasn't how he was supposed to sound. He hadn't sounded like that since -

Before his mind could slip into the dark hole that was his death and what by Pitioss is wrong with me, there is something wrong, wrong, wrong, an amused huff made his attention snap back to the man sitting on a stool next to the rickety old bed.

“Such insolence. It must really run in the family.”

…What?

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

The man blinked like he had just realized something. He leaned slightly back and carded his hair out of his face – it was long enough to fall between his shoulder blades – and Mors's breath shuttered in his chest. That face. This unknown man looked so much like Regis, and by extension, him, it hurt.

Oh Gods, Regis. How was he doing? Had he grieved at all? Mors had always done his best to protect his family, even if he knew that Regis thought different. He had seen it in the growing distance his son kept, the polite, empty words they exchanged, the looks Regis and Clarus had exchanged when they thought themselves unwatched.

#ask #raven-6-10 #ffxv #deep city au #to live is to die twice #mors lucis caelum #snippet #geist writes #I haven't continued this in ages #XD #I wrote down lots of potential continuations for chapter 1 #but they're all in notebooks #and in german #and to this day I haven't found the energy to translate them #geist answers

[dent-de-leon]

Thinking about Caleb's early campaign appearance and how Molly was still Like That ™️ about him is giving me feelings.

Yes!! Ironically, I think it was everything Caleb loathed about himself at the start that made Mollymauk start to fall for him. When Lucien suggested that no one could ever care for someone like him, that the Nein would never be able to forgive him for his betrayal, Molly reassures him--"That's not how we are, Lucien. We love broken things the most."

From the moment Mollymauk first crawled out of the grave, he'd felt lost. Empty. Broken. And it made him drawn to other desperate, lonely souls that felt just as hollow and abandoned in the world. He runs to Yasha's side and protects her from an angry mob--takes her hand and offers her a new home. With just a glance, he sees how much she's suffering, and he can't just let her face it alone. "I know what the others think, but, the truth is...How do I put this...The world is harsh and cruel, and I don't seem to be able to just walk on by. You see a wrong? You fix it."

And that fight in Alfield? When Molly keeps guarding Caleb in battle, rushes in to put out the flames and tries to snap him out of his panic attack? The way he tries so hard to break through to him because it's too dangerous--they can't do this, not here--"Time for that later." So he does what he can to get Caleb out, keep him safe, guide him to someplace better. "Come on, let's go get some sunlight."

And of course, there's the way he tries to comfort Caleb with a kiss, grounds him with a bit of affection and warmth after all the pain and fire that burned away at him. The way Molly tries to reach out to Caleb here? It's not so different from how he ran to the Platinum Dragon's temple and risked his life for someone who was suffering--someone still petrified in shock and grief.

That's who Molly is. I think about how Molly said, "We love broken things the most." And I think about when Caleb laid all his grief bare, choking up as he admitted, "I...broke, a bit." How much Caleb hates and loathes himself for it--despises his own "weakness," his "cowardice," the way his resolve just crumbles when it all falls apart--

Caleb always being terrified that he is damned beyond redemption. That his soul is twisted, shattered, corrupt. Broken. So of course Molly loves him. How could he not, when Caleb's hurting so much? When he's the exact kind of person Molly can't help getting so attached to, becoming so fiercely protective of?

It really is easy, to love Caleb later on in the campaign. He's no longer burying himself in dirt and trying so desperately to run and hide. He's charming, clever, ambitious, daring, courageous, determined, powerful--he's someone who's tired of running, who knows what he's fighting for, and will do everything he can to defend it. He's more self-assured, confident, composed.

He's also done so much healing, reached a point in his life where he is ready to open up again, seeks to do good every day, to become the man his parents always knew he could be. (And just...when Trent asks Caleb what his new goal in life is, Caleb has the strength to look him in the eye and say, "I think mostly we are just trying to leave the world better than we found it." And it's because of Molly he feels like that--)

But Molly falling for him at the very beginning? That's not easy--Caleb doesn't make it easy. He's trying so hard to push everyone away, to keep from ever getting attached. He's purposely trying to avoid attracting any sort of attention, trying to make himself appear as dismissive and undesirable as possible. Everyone else in the Nein is just a means to an end--or so Caleb desperately tries to tell himself. And Mollymauk? "I should go right now...Look at this one. He's like a walking rainbow, what is this? He's a circus performer, he's not going to help you."

The last night Molly was alive, and Caleb is trying to think of a reason to abandon him and the rest of the Nein, a reason why he and the others aren't worth staying for. And while he's agonizing with his conscience over that, while he's trying so hard to keep from ever getting attached--what does Molly think about Caleb in turn? How did he feel for Caleb, after knowing him the same exact amount of time? Well, first and foremost...it seems he still thinks of the kiss--

"Another kiss came to him like a tricky word just on the tip of the tongue, elusive yet tantalizing, though the sentiment felt real enough--a friend in crisis emerging to a kiss on the forehead. A tender banishment. Caleb. Softness and light. Clammy skin under rough lips. Molly's nose brushing Caleb's hair..."

And Molly feels so strongly for him, even while Caleb was so bitter, resentful, grief-stricken and wallowing in his own guilt--and all of these things are absolutely understandable--he doesn't owe anyone an explanation for it, for how he processes the raw pain and trauma and tries to protect himself from ever reliving it. But at the time, he was perhaps at his lowest, at his most desperate and lonely and despondent, refusing to let anyone else even get close. Regardless of how badly they wanted to help, to reach out to him.

It speaks volumes, that Molly looks at Caleb while he's still so pained and cold, so heartbroken and angry at the world and himself. But then there's Molly, and he looks at his Magician and sees, "Softness and light." This is before Caleb has gone through all that trying character development and catharsis, before he's managed to come to terms with everything and finally start to forgive himself.

This is a Caleb Widogast who still believed he would sacrifice the Nein if it meant he'd get what he wanted, if it meant a chance at more power, a means to finally bend reality to his will--the only possible way he thought he could ever set things right--

At this point, Caleb could've kept telling himself Molly and the others were just disposable. Stepping stones on his way to something better. Just the interim until he could finally "fix" the past, make it so he's no longer "broken"--

But Molly had feelings for him regardless. Even if they weren't returned--at least, not yet, not until Molly was lying lifeless and still and Caleb gently brushed the hair out of his eyes, buried him with a letter and then begged, "This could be a reunion--"

But even back then. Caleb was still "softness and light" to Mollymauk, and their brief time together meant so much to him. When Lucien insists those moments are gone--whatever Molly had with Caleb and the others, it's all gone--Molly simply says, "Kindness is never lost or forgotten." And he uses the memory of kissing Caleb to make that point. Explicitly tells Lucien that, no matter what, those little acts of tenderness and affection still mattered, still meant something to him, even after death. That's how much he loves Caleb, and it just breaks my heart--

#mollymauk #caleb widogast #widomauk #it will always make me feral that molly loved caleb even from the very beginning #even when caleb himself thought he wasnt capable of being loved. just-- #how molly still cares for him so much and then tells lucien that time he spent feeling for caleb and everyone else mattered. the fact that #he loved them will always mean something-- #also. caleb thinking hes broken and molly who also feels that way about himself and therefore loves other brokenhearted souls the most... #im in shambles

[speckled-and-spattered]

"Where she stops..." (Molly for Gio whenever he gets here)

Send me “Where she stops…” for a starter using the whump wheel (X) [Concussion uwu]

Despite how cool it was to be a totally legit bad guy, there were times when it was...less than cool, Gio would admit. Mostly when he ended up having to face the consequences of his own actions, like...right now!

In his defense, Giovanni hadn't even been doing his evil thing as of late, the overzealous leader far too busy taking care of his...kidnaping victim. It was hard work, making sure Molly was fed, clothed, entertained, that she did her homework, brushed her teeth, went to bed on time...

Okay, he was a parent, something that perhaps he shouldn't be when just toeing the line between his teens and his twenty's, but there was no way he could do worse than Molly's actual dad, so he figured he was pretty much golden! As soon as he figured this whole 'older brother' thing out, then he and Bear Trap could get right back into their villainy, just like before! With Gio and all his boys, they would be unstoppable!

Only...Gio had found that being protective over Molly had come naturally with his new caregiver role, to the point where it would have been very easy to have his little bear cub of a ward use her epithet to save him from a world of pain when someone he had apparently wronged in the past wanted 'revenge', but he had instead told her to stay away while he dealt with the threat with his trusty bat in hand.

Ditto was supposedly this person's newly discovered epithet, and what was the first thing they decided to do with it? Track down the notorious Banzai Blaster leader and use his own strength against him. Gio had started out boasting, how dare this...this...guy interrupt his and Molly's...reconnaissance! Yes, their reconnaissance of their neighborhood disguised as a simple walk, no one would ever be the wiser! Except for...this guy, apparently...

In all honestly, Giovanni didn't even know what this guy was even talking about, something about how a 'car crashed into his family's restaurant, and left them in debt-'

Oh. Dammit, Car Crash! They really had to stage an intervention and drag him to get his eyes checked, astigmatism was no laughing matter!

And neither was a concussion apparently, something that Gio was learning in the most effective of ways, as well as the meaning of the word ditto when his bat had made contact with this guy's head and...subsequently his own, albeit on a less physical level as the pain was shared between the two en. Luckily, possible brain damage wasn't as...well, damaging when it came to the Banzai leader, his opponent being knocked out by the force of his bat, while Gio himself was only knocked to his knees, with his world swaying and stomach doing flips as he went down.

Still, he laughed triumphantly at his victory, no matter how it made his head throb, one knee braced against the sidewalk as Gio attempted to hold his weight steady with the tip of his bat against the concrete. "Ha! Did you see that Bear Trap?! Even with Soul Slugger not in it's true form, I still reign victorious in the face of...of...hey, did he use his epithet on you too? 'Cause there's...there's two of you...."

#being a single mother is hard when youre a teenage boy #the leader of a Totally Legit criminal group #and also your 'kid' is one you 'kidnapped' from her shitty ass family 😔 #muse: giovanni potage #toyboxfriends