#''hows the internet been?'' same as it was yesterday ''have you looked up how much data video games used up on it?''

[tkbrokkoli]

i think a thing im v passionate abt is music. or rather, listening to music. i listen to it when i work, when i drive, when i clean, when i walk. i spend several hours every day listening to music. once during a trip i didn't have the time to listen to music for several days and when i finally turned on some music it felt like the world was suddenly filled w more color and life. i once was so overwhelmed w awe and beauty listening to a song for the first time that it caused me to have a panic attack. in, like, a good way, like, wow, look at that song, it touched me so deeply that i lost control of my body for a moment. i sometimes get teary eyes or goosebumps when listening to music. i listen to the same song for hours on repeat. i don't know anything abt making music btw. i took guitar lessons for some time but im not talented or good at it and it took too much effort to continue. i love the sounds a guitar makes though. i also don't remember any music theory. i have a friend who's naturally talented at playing the guitar but they didn't enjoy it but even after years of not having picked up a guitar they can still play songs at birthday parties. i think it's funny that they are naturally good at it but they hate doing it and i love it but im not good at it at all.

#not fandom related #music #the song that caused me to have a panic attack is 'you don't know' by pieridian pool btw #anyway idk why i just made that post i was just cleaning up after dinner and listening to music and thought abt #how much i love music but how little im involved w it #maybe one day ill pick up the guitar again. its too much effort rn and i dont have the energy or time to commit myself to it #i think if i didn't have a phone or access to the internet i would just teach myself how to play the guitar #and my only hobbies would be playing the guitar and listening to music #on a different note im officially 5 months on T and ive passed to strangers 2 times so far 🥳 #yesterday we got locker keys for a practical and were assigned either a key to the men's or women's locker room #and the person assigning the keys gave me one for the men's room. just basedon my looks #i don't remember if i said anything or if i just stepped up to them. i made a recording of my morning voice a few days ago #and it sounds like that typical trans guy voice early in transitioning.l #im still surprised that i pass bc i dress the same as i have been for many years. im letting my hair grow out. i got some beard hairs on my #face but they're rly sparse and i trim them every day and you can rly only see them in bright light or when standing close #so it's like. i must have changed in some way due to T that im not aware of and it's nice to pass. like a weight off my chest. or rather #im experiencing life the way it's supposed to be c:

[superchat]

i try to talk to my mom and stuff but even just a 15 minute talk is so draining

#just constantly going off about all this drama and stress and arguements that went down and and and and #along with trying to give me advice abt every thing and micromanage stuff i dont even think abt #i barely have room to ever say anything cuz she talks so fast and for so long so i just sit there like :| #''so have you met any of your neighbors?'' no. i havent ''ah thats too bad. i was hoping you could say hi to them. itd be good'' #mother if i wanted to do that then i would have done it by now #''hows the internet been?'' same as it was yesterday ''have you looked up how much data video games used up on it?'' #(for years i have told her how little data video games use compared to them streaming shows on hd and she never really believes me i think) #(cuz video games are bad cuz stereotypes)

[skrunksthatwunk]

playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there

#how do i tell her she needs to break up with him immediately. posthaste.fuck it funny post over rant incoming tw emotional abuse i think #nyarla dni #(<- roomie and nyarla have met and i don't wanna air roomie's drama to ppl who know her w/o her consent. anon internet ppl only) #listen i'm normally for gentle advising and that's probably what i'll do since i don't want to stress her out but oh my fucking god what is #his problem. he's constantly putting her in these weird no-win situations where the only right answer is to never be upset or disagree or b #wrong on accident or be misunderstood by him and to tell him everything she's feeling so she's not 'playing mind games' but if she says wha #she's feeling he'll interrogate her and badger her with the same questions over and over again insisting she's unreasonable until she gives #in and says she's sorry with an attitude he likes. i fucking don't like him. and a lot of this is observations from today. the day after sh #GOT INTO A CAR ACCIDENT AND BROKE HER NECK. WHAT THE FUCK. #it's like he expects to be treated like a king on one of the worst days of her life and when she's upset he's like OH. OH I GET IT. #and lectures her on having attitude and taking things out on others when she's literally not even doing that. not to an extent that matters #anyway. like. there's more productive ways of dealing with that. where you don't treat them like a bad kid for getting overwhelmed #he has made her cry multiple times today. i have been around multiple arguments and fights and he's just genuinely. awful i hate him #hell the first argument i overheard *i* was in tears by the end (luckily they left soon after bc i had to run to the basement laundry #dungeon to bawl my eyes out because 1. i can't handle confrontation 2. i've never seen roomie cry and 3. she just seemed so hurt and tired) #anyway he just left again after a fight because. god this is so dumb. she told him to move while they were sleeping in the same twin bed #(remember she's in a neck brace) and he fucking. left the room for an HOUR bc he thought the only thing that could POSSIBLY mean (as he #insisted) was for him to get out of here and then when she was like oh hey i'm sorry i didn't mean it like that he decided to spend the nex #half hour of his short time on this earth chewing her out for not giving him a lengthy explanation while half-asleep as to like. why he #needed to move (she wanted to grab smth) and apparently he sat in the chair by her bed for like 10 mins before leaving so he probably saw #her fall back asleep. and then he got pissy when after he left she didn't pick up her phone when he was calling her? even though he knew sh #was asleep?? she didn't even know he was gone. fucking. i need to get him away from my roomie YESTERDAY #look. miscommunication happens. i'm not saying he's an asshole for wanting things said clearly. i am pro-saying what you mean. #but if every time your gf tells you what she means you make it into a 30 minute lecture (no matter how small the slight and w/o examining i #you're actually right or not) she's not gonna wanna fucking tell you if she doesn't think it's worth the argument. especially if you never #let her rest until she concedes. apology isn't enough. clarification isn't enough. she has to say how wrong she was and beg and GOD. UGHHH #and he's always on about how she hurts his feelings. a gust of wind could hurt his feelings. he's constantly berating her manipulating her #and then he's like >:( see that hurt my feelings you can't hurt ppl's feelings. you're disrespectful. HE"S THE WORST I FUCKING HATE HIM #look sometimes adversity reveals the truth of a person and this just amplified his shittiness so much. mr OH i slept in a HOSPITAL and it #was so bad... you can't be in a bad mood bc i've been doing the bare minimum and you need to prioritize MY feelings rn. also i won't leave

[screeching-bunny]

Yandere! Slasher Hcs

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

🌟 Yandere! Slasher has been stalking you the minute you moved into his town. Imagine his surprise when he learns that you’ll be attending the same school as him! This must be fate telling him that you’re the one and to get with you quickly! He’s already planning his future with you. From where your wedding will be, how the names of your kids, how many pets the two of you would own. Everything you can think of, he’s already panned it.

🌟 Yandere! Slasher is so socially awkward around you. Whenever you speak to him his knees start shaking and he’s tripping over his words. Just a bundle of nerves and can’t think whenever he’s around you. You probably don’t even notice him or remember him most of the time but whenever you greet him he can basically feel his heart leap out of his chest.

🌟 Yandere! Slasher loves to give you presents and his love language is definitely gift giving. It’s not the normal gift giving though, it’s more of a “Wow look at what my cat gave me” type of gift giving. His “presents” are hit or miss though. They’re either extremely good presents like a stolen gold watch or extremely crappy like a dead bird. It’s very interesting to say the least.

🌟 Yandere! Slasher loves killing people for both the thrill and fun of it. He likes to pick off your friends one by one and watch their faces curl up in fear. Desperately watch you to be isolated from social interaction so that he can observe you without the fear of losing you to someone else. It’s gotten so bad that almost everyone believes that you're the killer since all of your friends end up missing or dead.

🌟 Yandere! Slasher would swoop and clear your name in hopes of looking like a hero in your eyes. When you are eventually cleared from all allegations, he’s the only person that you're actually actively interacting with. Even though he’s gotten closer to you, he still feels all giddy inside and clumsy.

🌟 Yandere! Slasher is the type of person to just steal your trash. Remember that fork you threw away? Well that’s his now. Remember that empty water bottle? It’s his new refillable water bottle. What about that napkin you threw away yesterday? Well, it’s at his house next to his bed. That man will literally be on his hands and knees digging out of the trash to find whatever thing that you threw away.

🌟 Yandere! Slasher is so down bad that he has his own fake mini you plushie that he sleeps with every night. And yes made that plush himself. He literally salivates at the idea of sleeping on a bed with you. Literally wants to be with you so bad. He gets increasingly annoyed whenever he’s not around you or has his sights on you.

🌟 Yandere! Slasher would definitely kidnap or abduct you one day. He’d basically do it in his signature serial killer costume. Yandere! Slasher would prefer it if you had a group with you during this. He just loves the chase and it makes everything so exciting. Loves the idea of you slowly starting to panic as everyone disappears one at a time. It has him jumping for joy.

—

Things were looking terrible for both you and your group. The murder was still after you relentlessly and wouldn’t give up no matter what. Everything was looking so dim. None of you were able to call the police for some odd reason, it felt like someone was jamming the internet. Nothing was working but a singular phone that could only be used to text messages to a singular unknown phone number. This was your current predicament, trying to strike a deal with a psycho killer for your lives.

Random side character: (trembling) while sending a message “Please let us go we’ll give you anything”

Originally, you all didn't have much hope, but what you all didn't expect the killer to reply so quickly.

Yandere! Slasher: “Anything is fine?”

Random side character: (trembling) “As long as you let us go, we’ll do our best to help you fulfill your wish.”

Yandere! Slasher: “I want the cutie standing over there to be my spouse. Specifically the one that has [describes your appearance]

Everyone : "????"

You: “What the fuck—“

Before anyone could react, the opposite side began to send messages quickly. You couldn’t believe that it was possible for someone to type this proficiently. It was like the other person wasn’t even typing at all. Their typing skills were faster than a normal person talking. If your life weren’t in danger right now you’d be applauding.

Yandere! Slasher: “I am a male, 6’6, and have no bad habits. I have been ranked first academically since I was a child. I was admitted to multiple Ivy League Universities with excellent scores. At present, I have not killed anyone in the last 24 hours. I am very kind. My family is very rich and I can provide you with a happy life. I will do all the housework after marriage. I will do all the laundry, cook, and clean the house. I can hand over all my salary to you. I will never quarrel with you, and I also guarantee that I will only love my spouse in my entire lifetime. This is my photo.”

After this sentence, more than a dozen photos were sent from the opposite side. Different backgrounds, different angles, and different clothes. The only thing the photos had in common was that they were carefully photographed. It was obvious that the photographer was working hard to get his good side.

Yandere! Slasher: “If you don’t like my appearance, I can always get plastic surgery. If it’s my gender you have an issue with, then it's not impossible to become a woman.”

All eyes were on you right now and the only thing you could say at that minute was,

“…. What the hell?”

Pt. 2

#yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere oc #yandere slasher

[luckthebard]

So this is a very niche rant that is probably only something I've noticed or been annoyed by, but:

The longer Critical Role has gone on and the more changes they've made/content they've created, there's been an increase in weird people who are desperate and determined to prove that changes or content they don't like are "an objective failure" - but often lie or deliberately misunderstand viewership statistics to do so.

There are a few big "facts" I see repeated by people to argue that CR has "gone in the wrong direction" that are just plain wrong, and I think what annoys me most is seeing so many people engage with those "facts" without bothering to double-check them or push back against the certainty with which people state them. An example of one I keep seeing now is "twitch streaming numbers are down" and it's like, yeah, sure, in comparison to when they didn't simultaneously air on YouTube. If you add up the YT and Twitch numbers these days it's about the same as mid-late C2, but people love to act like YT streaming doesn't exist to make a point that "people don't like C3". And I tbh don't care if people like or dislike C3 but why this determination to falsely quantify and validate a personal preference?

The earliest I saw this was an intense agreement on reddit that Exandria Unlimited was a "failure" for CR, "unlike Undeadwood," because viewership numbers were lower. And it was tbh baffling to not see pushback against that narrative, because it's just objectively untrue. Original EXU's VOD streaming numbers are higher than every single episode of Undeadwood, and it premiered literally years later. It also has a lower "drop-off" in viewership (comparison of how many views episode 1 vs the finale has) than Undeadwood, despite frequent claims to the contrary. And don't mistake me here, I really enjoyed Undeadwood, but it actually was a viewership misstep for CR to the degree that they didn't try anything like it again for a while after and significantly changed how they approached marketing and airing miniseries. (A big one being: don't air a long miniseries simultaneously with the main series, it's too much content for most people to invest in during a week.)

(Sidebar, but another great miniseries CR did that didn't get a lot of viewership love is the Elder Scrolls Online trilogy, so I'm going to plug it here. It has some weirdly low viewership numbers on episodes 2 and 3 and I promise you they're both well worth it.)

The other one I keep seeing is "4 Sided Dive has lower numbers than Talks" which is also just not true. Most 4 Sided Dive VODs have nearly twice as many views as Talks VODs (and I'm using the ones that aired directly on the CR channel as a metric here, not the ones re-uploaded from G&S which lost numbers in the change-over). And I'll tbh chalk that up to the fact 4SD airs much less frequently - people are more likely to think it's necessary to watch whereas with Talks if you weren't interested in the guests you might skip a week. I'm not making any claims about the quality of either show, but the use of false viewership statistics to support "one of these sucks" is so rampant and so weird.

All this to say that yesterday I saw a weird viewer-hungry YouTube clickbait video titled "Midst a FAILURE for Critical Role!!" with a truly absurd confidence on what the VOD streaming numbers for the Midst YouTube videos mean for the series mere days after the premier and snapped.

tl;dr, people just make shit up and say whatever on the internet all the time and we hopefully all understand and expect that BUT (and here's the more annoying thing) 9 times out of 10 people just engage with that WITHOUT LOOKING INTO IT THEMSELVES

#rant #critical role #long post #cr discourse #I guess? #as always I am begging people to fact check and question stuff that's just stated as fact by randos online

[multifandomsw]

Apologies 7

Harry Styles x Reader

summary: After an encounter with your old best friend, she gave you her number to catch up. When you decide to send her a message, someone else replies. Was it destiny?

warnings: angst, fluff

author’s note: It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’m so happy to be back! I wrote this within a few hours. It was quite hard to write, but I hope you’ll enjoy this! I feel like you’ll either like it or hate it…especially the end

Part 7

Harry took yet another look at his phone and sighed when he saw that half an hour had already passed.

Lucy was late again.

Normally Harry wouldn’t truly care about that fact. He’d just pull out his phone and look at some instagram stories.

This time though, he needed to talk to Lucy. Desperately needed to talk to Lucy.

Because of you.

God, he couldn’t take you off of his mind. He hadn’t been able to take you off of his mind ever since he got to know you, but now it was worse.

The thought of you was the only thing that consumed his mind.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw your face in front of him. And every time he saw it, he was reminded that you were truly the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on. And he was sure that no matter how many more new people he would see during his life, it would stay this way.

After feeling your warm touch on his skin yesterday, Harry wasn’t sure if he could continue living without it. He craved feeling you this close to him again.

“Harry.”, someone interrupted and when he looked up and saw Lucy, Harry felt relieved. Because as much as he loved thinking about you, he was going insane.

“Hi.”, he breathed out and took her in. She still wore the same outfit she had worn yesterday, her make-up was smudged and her hair was a mess. Nevertheless, Lucy wore a smile on her face.

“I’m sorry I’m late. Oskar wouldn’t let me go.”, she giggled and sat down on the seat opposite from Harry.

Harry only raised his eyebrows. “Oskar, huh?”

Lucy blushed. “He’s actually really nice. He even made some breakfast.”, Lucy giggled and took a sip from the coffee Harry had ordered. “Ew, it’s cold.”

Harry only rolled his eyes. “Because you’re late.”, he sighed. “Have you checked on her? Is she fine?”, he needed to know.

Lucy simply sighed. “She is. She only has a headache.”, she began, but hesitated before continuing. “What?”, Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

“She doesn’t remember anything from yesterday. She thinks it was a dream.”, Lucy admitted.

Honestly, Harry didn’t know if he should feel relieved or disappointed. He was glad that you didn’t find out yet, glad that he could just be himself for a little while longer. But after yesterday, he realized that texting you was not enough for him. He wanted to see your radiant smile every day, he wanted to hear your voice every day, wanted to fall asleep with you in his arms every day.

“Oh.”, he whispered defeatedly.

“Harry-“, Lucy started, but Harry interrupted her quickly. “You said she went to the club to forget about her troubles, right? What’s troubling her? She barely tells me stuff like that anymore and I- I feel like she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, but then yesterday she told me she liked me and I-“, his voice cracked. “I just don’t know what to think anymore.”, he continued in a whisper.

“She hated the attention she’s getting, Harry. You know that the interaction you had with her in Munich is all over the internet. It went even that far that a fan of yours approached her when we were in a café. And-“, Lucy began, but stopped talking, debating whether she should even tell Harry about that.

“And what, Lucy?”, he desperately wanted to know.

“I don’t know if you know everything about what happened with her old best friend at your concert.”, she began and Harry shook her head. “No, not everything.”

“Well- her old best friend approached her with her boyfriend and told her that no one would ever like her and that you only talked to her because you pitied her-“

Harry’s heart quite literally stopped. “What the fuck? She doesn’t believe that, does she?”

“She kind of does.”, Lucy sighed. “But Harry, she told me that she liked you. It’s obvious how much.”

“She likes H.”, he reminded Lucy and seeing the sad look in his eyes hurt Lucy too.

“But that’s you, that’s the real you. Don’t you see? You like each other. It’s time to tell her the truth, Harry. Better now than too late.”, Lucy argued, but stopped when she saw one tear rolling down Harry’s cheek.

It felt like someone was stabbing a knife into Harry’s heart, slowly and painfully. Guilt washed over his whole body because he realized that he was the reason for your troubles. His concert was the reason for all your troubles. He was so focused on blaming himself, that he forgot to acknowledge the fact that you said that you liked him. You liked him.

Harry desperately tried wiping his tears away, but they just wouldn’t stop flowing out of his eyes. “I’m sorry.”, he managed to get out and Lucy knew it was not directed to her.

“H.”, Lucy tried to console him and he was almost disgusted when she said it. After you had called him H yesterday, he decided that he didn’t want anyone else calling him H ever again. It only sounded right when you had said it. “Harry.”, Lucy tried again and that’s when Harry stopped trying to wipe the tears away.

They were falling freely now.

“What’s wrong, Harry?”, she sincerely wanted to know.

Harry gulped hard. “It’s my fault. Everything’s my fault. It all happened during my concert. She’s struggling because of me.”, his voice cracked at the end.

“No, no. You’re not going to blame yourself now.”, Lucy instructed. “It was not your fault and you know it. You know what she told me? That she’s a thousand times happier ever since she got to know you. You gave her hope. You managed to make her believe that she might actually be good enough.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “She said that?”

“Yes! Harry, she truly likes you. I know I shouldn’t get involved, but you should tell her who you are eventually. She’s happy and Harry, you are happy too. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve never liked someone as much as you like her. She’s the only person you talk about lately.”

Of course Lucy was right. She always was. And somehow, Lucy had managed to give Harry a bit of hope back. “Do you think you could convince her to go to one of my Wembley shows? It would mean the world to me.”

-

His eyes were piercing green. They reminded you of a forest in summer, of springtime grass. His eyes reminded you of life.

They were so breathtakingly beautiful that you didn't look away from them even when he said your name so softly.

But as much as you loved his eyes, your eyes trailed down to his soft and full rosy lips. Only one thought consumed your whole mind: what would it be like to just lean in and kiss him?

You imagined the soft feeling of his lips moving against yours. You thought of how they would taste, like sweet honey, like a summer night, like him.

You whispered his name back just as softly and dragged your eyes back to his. You noticed that his pupils were dilated and wondered for a second if yours were too.

He placed his hand against your cheek, slowly caressing it with his thumb as he stepped closer to you.

He was so close now that you could feel his breath softly tickle your skin and you knew if you looked down, his lips would only be centimeters away from yours.

"Can I kiss you?", he asked, leaning closer but never closing the gap. Not before you would give him permission, you figured.

You parted your lips, letting out a shaky breath."Yes.", you managed to answer and he wasted no time as he leaned closer to you-

Before he pulled back and let out an evil chuckle.

”Green eyes can't be trusted.", he smirked and let go of you.

-

Lucy practically stormed into your room and woke you up in the process. “You won’t believe what happened.”, she let out excitedly and you simply groaned.

You groaned because she had woken you up and because you had dreamed about him again.

Again, because you had dreamt about H yesterday, too.

“Leave me alone.”, you grumbled and closed your eyes again, but Lucy didn’t care. “I won tickets for one of Harry’s Wembley shows.”, she let out excitedly and it took a moment for you to process this information.

“What?”, you sat up and looked at her in disbelief. “And they’re VIP tickets, too!”

“That’s- that’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“You’ll come with me.”, she decided and your eyes widened. “No, no.”, you whispered. “Lucy, you know what happened during my last concert.”

She quietly said your name. “We have VIP tickets, which means there are no fans nearby. No one can disturb you.”

“But they can still take pictures of me and start speculations.”, you argued, crossing your arms.

“And? It’s fucking Harry Styles, who cares if the world thinks you’re dating. They’re just jealous.”

“Lucy.”, you started, sighing. “You know I-“

“Please.”, she practically begged you. “I don’t want to go alone, I won’t go alone. And I have no one else to go with.”

The tickets would go to waste if you didn’t go with Lucy. And as much as you hated the idea of going, you decided that you should slowly overcome your doubts and fear. “Okay?”, you answered unsure.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”, you whispered and hid your face in the T-shirt you were wearing. Lucy had told you that it was hers and that she had helped you change when you came home from the club. You believed her of course, but the shirt didn’t smell like Lucy at all. It smelled like a forest in spring after it had just rained, like fresh flowers and grass.

It smelled like home.

-

You and H had never stopped texting each other, but you had stopped talking to him about some things.

Not intentionally, no, but you slowly started to believe that H was getting tired of you too.

Which was anything but true. When you told H about it, he was determined to show you how much he truly cared for you.

H: Listen to “All I Want” by Kodaline.

You: Oh?

H: It reminds me of you

You: Stop it you know I’m blushing

H: I just want to show you how much I care about you

You: I might care about you too

H: Oh, you might?

You: Well, you could still be old

H: I hate you

You: You know you love me

H: Yeah I do

H: Do you know what you’ll wear to the concert tomorrow?

You: Just something simple. Probably a cute top and some oversized pants

H: I really want you to go, but are you 100% sure that you’ll be okay?

You: I think I’ll be

H: You think?

You: No, I know. He’s one of my favorite singers and I’m really excited about the concert now that I’m thinking about it

You: Who cares if people think we’re dating? I mean who wouldn’t want to date Harry Styles?

H: I’m glad

H: You’d make a great couple

You: Oh shut up

-

"Uhm-, Harry began, but looked down at his hands to think about his next words very carefully. It was Jeff after all and Jeff hated spontaneous decisions. He was likely going to tell Harry how he would regret it and how impulsive he had been, but deep down, Harry knew he wouldn't regret it, would never regret it.

"How have you been?", Harry changed the question quickly and Jeff only raised his eyebrows.

"We saw each other yesterday."

Harry bit his lip in order not to let out a laugh. It was stupid to be afraid to tell him, but Harry cared about Jeff's opinions.

"Just say whatever you want to say, it can't be that bad.", Jeff nudged Harry's arm and now

Harry truly let out a laugh.

"It might be that bad.", Harry chuckled. "Okay, but you can't say that it was an impulsive decision before hearing me out."

Jeff scrunched his face in confusion. "Did you get nipple piercings?"

"What?"

"Please tell me you didn't get a genital piercing.”Jeff looked Harry deep into his eyes, concern written all over his face.

Harry could only let ihr a hysterical laugh. "You're absolutely crazy, of course I didn't get a genital piercing!"

Jeff let out a breath of relief. "You scared me for a second, boy"

Harry could only roll his eyes in response. "Okay. I got a new tattoo."

"You always get new tattoos, it's nothing new."

"Okay, but this one might be.", Harry let out and just shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just going to show you.", he said while taking his shirt off.

Jeff's eyes searched for the tattoo for a second, but his eyes widened when he saw the new tattoo on his collar bone.

"Please tell me this is a joke."

"Nope."

"Are you out of your mind?", he asked as he stared at the Cherry tattoo on his chest. Spelled out.

"See, I knew you were gonna react like this."

"She doesn't even know who you are!", Jeff argued. "This will last forever Harry. You're not even-“, Jeff interrupted himself before he took a deep breath.

“I’ve never felt that way about someone before.”, Harry admitted with a small smile on his face and when Jeff looked in his eyes he saw not an ounce of doubt.

Jeff sighed. “When will you tell her?”

Harry’s smile instantly dropped. “Soon.”

“This won’t end well if you fail to tell her the truth Harry.”

“I know.”, he whispered back. “I want to tell her, I just don’t know how.”

“She’ll be here today, right?”, Jeff questioned. “Yes.”

“Then tell her today.”

“No, no, I couldn’t.”, Harry stammered.

Jeff only gave him a stern look. “You should do it, and you know it. Now go change into your outfit.”

-

To say you were late was an understatement. Lucy’s car had broken down in the middle of the road. You had even suggested to just go back home, but Lucy had insisted on taking a taxi to the concert after you had waited over an hour for someone to take Lucy’s car away.

When you entered the VIP tent, Harry Styles was already singing Sign of the Times and you realized that you had missed almost all of the songs.

Still, when you saw him on the stage, you were once again absolutely mesmerized. He looked gorgeous. From the rosy cheeks, to his full lips and sparkling eyes. You could see his dimples when he smiled at a fan and almost lost it.

Hearing Sign of the Times live for the very first time was probably one of the most beautiful things you had ever experienced. Sometimes you forgot how good Harry Styles could truly sing.

“I’m sorry that we arrived so late.”, Lucy apologized and pulled you out of your trance. “Nonsense. We’re here now.”, you looked around the tent, not seeing anyone familiar until your eyes landed on Anne and Gemma not far away from you. Anne was waving at Harry and Gemma was swaying from side to side.

They were standing so closely to you, you could just take a few steps towards them and talk to them.

Which you, of course, wouldn’t do. But you could.

-

“She’s not coming, is she?”, Harry whispered to himself after Sign of the Times ended. He had long given the hope up and it hurt him to look into the direction of the VIP tent and not see you standing there, beaming up at him.

Still, he couldn’t help himself and spared the VIP tent one last glance and caught-

Your eyes.

He just stared at you for a few seconds. At your toothy smile, at your adorable hairstyle, at your rosy cheeks. He had only seen you a few days ago, but still: his heart quite literally stilled in his chest.

He didn’t think you would show up.

Harry let out a chuckle and ducked his head for a second, trying not to get too distracted. “Hi.”, he mouthed and blew you a small kiss.

He knew he shouldn’t talk to you. Not after all the hate you got after the last concert. Still, it pained him not being able to talk to you.

Seeing the blush form on your cheeks, though, was more than enough to satisfy him.

“I think we all feel a little unloved sometimes.”, Harry began addressing the crowd. “Some more than others. I’m sure that every single one of you has thought about not being good enough at least once in your lives. Including me. You probably have felt unloved, unwanted and left out on more than one occasion.”, Harry began and the crowd roared.

“I know this girl.”, Harry began and one girl in the crowd made an ‘uhhh’ sound.

Harry chuckled, those beautiful dimples of his showing. He spared you a glance and saw that you were listening intensely. “And this girl thinks all of these things every single day. Over and over again.”

“And you know what? She’s none of these things. She is loved, she is wanted, she is more than fucking good enough. She’s everything.”, Harry had to fight every urge not to look at you right now, because he was sure he would beging to cry instantly.

“She doesn’t know that yet. I hope she’ll know this and realize this one day. She doesn’t even know that I’m talking about her right now. But I want her to know that I’ll always wait for her. Until the end of the time. This song I wrote reminds me quite a lot of her. This is Little Freak.”, Harry ended his speech and began singing.

You never saw my birthmark.

Harry knew, with every fiber in his being, that all of his following songs would be about you. Every single song he had begun writing since he had known you was about you.

-

“This song wasn’t on the set list! It’s one of my favorites.”, you told Lucy who was grinning at you. “It sure is. Do you know how many-“, Lucy stopped talking suddenly and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before you turned around and saw someone approaching you-

Anne and Gemma were approaching you.

“What?”, you whispered to yourself when Gemma hugged Lucy. “I’m glad you could make it!”, Gemma grinned and stepped back so that Anne could give Lucy a hug.

How did she know them? Did they confuse Lucy with someone else? “I heard your car broke down.”, Anne said worriedly and now you were sure that they weren’t confusing her for someone else.

“Yes, but we just took the taxi.”, Lucy answered and introduced Anne and Gemma to you. Anne went to hug you quickly and grinned at you. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“You have?”, you questioned. “Uh- yes, Lucy told us quite a bit.”

“How do you-“, you began, your mind still not comprehending that you were talking to Anne and Gemma. “How do you know each other?”

Lucy bit her lip. “Anne is my mom’s best friend.”, Lucy explained. You couldn’t believe it. Why had she never told you about that? Surely, she couldn’t have just forgotten. “Oh. You never told me about that.”

Lucy just shrugged her shoulders. “I must have forgotten to.”, she answered and turned back to Anne. Why would she forget something like that? Hadn’t she said that she was a Harry Styles fan?

“Do you like London, dear?”, Anne questioned. “Oh, yes, uhm- it’s very beautiful here.”, you stammered and Anne smiled warmly at you. “Have you seen much of the city already?

“Well- parts of it. But I still have much to see, I suppose.”

Anne nodded. “Oh yes, I’m sure Harry will show you around sometime.”, Anne began and you saw as horror washed over Gemma’s face.

Harry? Why would Harry Styles show you around? Surely, they haven’t seen the rumors on the internet? They wouldn’t say anything about it, because Harry Styles would tell them that they weren’t real-

So why did they bring up Harry?

“Harry?”, you questioned and watched Anne’s eyes widen with fear, too. “Lucy. Lucy will show you around.”

Your mouth parted as you moved your eyes to the stage, where Harry had just finished his song and was looking at you. You looked from him to Gemma and back.

Surely Harry wasn’t-

No, no, that didn’t make any sense-

H lived in London. H was working in the music industry. H had his own concerts. H traveled a lot with his band. H didn’t tell you his real name or name of his band. H was a singer. H was a songeriter. H knew Taylor Swift. H was single because his schedule was too tight for love.

H is short for Harry.

Harry fucking Styles.

You felt the tears rush to your eyes as you stared at Harry Styles. He stared back at you as if waiting for you to say something. You bit your lip as you shook your head frequently, looking at him with utter disappointment. He had failed to tell you the truth.

No, no this could not be real, but as you turned around and ran away, you heard Harry Styles calling out after you, which made it all real.

“Cherry, wait.”

taglist: @st-ev-ie @hsstylesrings @bubblespower101 @ravisinghs-wife @mopeymousey @shishcabobsworld @stylesfever @valntynebaby @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @harryspirate @xxlunathewitchxx @hannah9921 @fingermonkey101 @amateurduck @babyiamperfectforyou @ravisinghs-wife @creativelyeva @fanficismydrug @manrocket-mo @crimeshowjunkie @lomlolivia @pagesfalling @harryssky1 @buckybarnessimpp @melancholy-help @annesauriol @tea-and-toast463 @sheslikeacurse @kuntxrgraudunkelbunt @white-wolf-buckaroo @itsgigikay @cherrystyle @be-with-me-so-happily

#harry styles angst #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction

[tubborucho]

NOT a /neg to op, I just want to talk about it

I would not say Tubbo necessarily cares for BBH specifically. I would even go as far as to say though he does care, it’s a very much normal amount, barely more than for most of the islanders he’d properly interacted with before. And you know me, I am the biggest Soul Sacrificers hyper and supporter in all the internet, so I do not say it lightly.

Tubbo doesn’t care for BBH that much. Maybe he would a bit more if he didn’t have his own thing going on and crippling mental health issues, but it is what it is.

Those 5 hours were for Dapper, not for Bad. If there wasn’t Dapper’s life on the stake and instead it was Bad’s Tubbo though would try to help anyway, it would not nearly be on the same level.

Tubbo yesterday did not care what is going on with Bad and his memory. You’d think he would be more interested in it because of the shared dying/coming back experience. But he literally just wanted his money back and that’s it.

When he told Chayanne he would look into bringing Bad back (though he then proceeded to forget about it anyway), it was because his godson was worried, not he himself.

And so on. If you want, you can just compare his actions and words to Bagi, who cares a lot about practically everyone. This is not the same.

HOWEVER

What Tubbo holds for Bad is just as important: respect. There has always been deep down respect between them. Even when they were at odds with Ron kidnapping and Tubhole, and even when they are more regularly just want to annoy each other or ‘take advantage’ of each other (aka Tubbo asking Bad for cookies quests stuff back on the old island). There always was respect. It is here now.

Respect turned comradary after the Purgatory when Tubbo listened to Bad’s calls during the @v@ interactions.

Respect, when he did not try to scam Bad with this loan, using his memory issues.

Respect, when Bad went along with Tubbo’s Salesman schemes and Tubbo immediately including him properly, WITHOUT trying to scam Bad himself.

Respect turned valuing opinion, when Tubbo was calling Bad over to Tubchunk specifically to have him look at his machines and farms.

Respect turned trust with Bad being 3rd person Tubbo specifically outwardly allowed Sunny to wake up to and Bad being the only person Tubbo didn’t really try to hide the existence of the bunker and its location from (comparing how he acted around Phil about that and before Fit was shown it, after which Tubbo kinda gave up mostly)

I would love for Tubbo to get closer to Bad in a way of genuine and strong care, For him to intentionally try to help him out when needed because of Bad and not because of a kid/Tubbo just being kind and helpful as a person, It’s not the reality now, though.

But what we have is still amazing. I love those two so much.

#liss writes posts #qsmp #qsmp tubbo #qsmp badboyhalo #soul sacrificers #soul hunters

[dotster001]

hi i got a request for grim ( Platonic ) where the reader and grim get stuck in a time loop and just have fun because the day ( or whatever far you want it to go ) will reset

so its just reader and grim having fun <3

( ofc you dont have to do this <3) (ofc it doesnt have to be grim it can be another characters )

3k follower Masterlist

A/N: I know you were trying to be helpful, but it is the funniest thing to me that you linked a definition to platonic for an aro-ace 😂

Unresolved

"Come to bed. The Great Grim needs cuddles!" Your kitty friend pouted from the bed.

You bit your lip. You had to pack, tomorrow Crowley was sending you home. But you were leaving Grimmy behind….

"I'm coming," you said with a smile, getting into bed, and snuggling him close to your chest, letting his soft purrs help you drift off.

It felt like moments and your alarm was going off.

"Don't get up yet,"Grim groaned, and you gently scratched behind his ears.

"If I don't, the headmage will keep me here for another year. You know how he is."

He grimaced and rubbed his eyes, and you reached for your packed bag….

Which wasn't there.

"Grim?"

"Hm?" He responded tiredly, continuing to rub his eyes.

"Nothing," no use worrying him. He already had a lot on his mind. You didn't have much packed anyway, so you quickly gathered your things and made your way to Crowley's office.

He was sipping coffee, and looked very confused by your presence.

"Perfect? Did we have an appointment?"

"Yes. You're supposed to send me home today."

Crowley burst into laughter. "Silly, silly prefect. That's tomorrow, remember?"

You stared at him, then looked to Grim.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

You looked at your phone, and immediately dropped it in shock.

"It's yesterday!"

"Prefect?" If you could see his eyebrows, you could guess Crowley was raising one of them.

"Nothing," you muttered. "I'll see you tomorrow, sorry for the confusion."

You quickly scooped up Grim and took him outside.

"Grim, it's still yesterday."

"Huh?"

"Look!" You showed him your phone screen, proudly displaying yesterday's date.

"I'm not doing the same classes again," Grim said with an eye roll. Which was soon replaced with a grin. "We should go to the town!"

"But-"

"Y/N, you leave tomorrow, right? So let's enjoy this extra day together!"

You couldn't say no to that. You owed him that much, considering he now had an extra day with him.

"Alright."

You spent the day on town, eating treats, buying Grim gifts, playing games in the arcade. At the end of the day, your kitty companion was sleepy, so you took him home, tucked him in, and snuggled in for the night.

Your alarm went off, and this time you checked the date.

"It's the same day," you muttered to Grim, and sure enough, the things you had bought yesterday were gone.

"We should go to the beach today!" He squealed excitedly, bounding from the bed before you could say anything.

….

It had been the equivalent of a week of the same day.  You were concerned. Grim was not.

"Grimmy, aren't you worried about this time loop thing?"

"Nope! I'm selfish, and it means you'll stay with me longer!" He giggled unashamedly.

You rolled your eyes, continuing your internet search, "How to End A Time Loop."

Most of the search results implied there was something unresolved that you needed to figure out. There was one search result, however, that discussed the possibility of someone's unique magic manipulating time. The trouble with that response was that no one but you and Grim seemed to be the only ones who knew what was going on.

You immediately smacked your forehead.

"Grimmy? Is something wrong?"

"Hmm?" He asked through a mouthful of spaghetti.

"Is there something bothering you?" 

He tilted his head thoughtfully before shoving another forkful of spaghetti into his mouth.

"Nope."

The next morning you woke yourself earlier than the alarm, and made some cookies, setting a plate full of them, and a glass of milk on a tray. 

You gently shook Grim awake and giggled as he squealed in excitement over the cookies.

He started shoving them in his mouth, two at a time, and you sat gently next to him, scratching his head.

"Grim, what's wrong?"

He froze, and after a moment too long of silence, he looked up at you with teary eyes.

"You're going to leave me when tomorrow comes. And I know you have to go but…"

"But?"

"I wanna go with you," he whispered.

"I thought you wanted to be a great mage."

"I did, but…you're my family. I'd rather be with you."

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

He glared at you. "I'm not stupid. I knew you'd tell me to stay here. But I ain't got no one else! And without you, what's the point of being a great mage."

He placed a hand on his hip, and snickered.

"Besides, you need me to protect you!"

You smiled softly. "If I said you could come with me, you'd be okay never coming back?"

He nodded aggressively, his eyes filling with hope.

"Okay Grim, if you're sure-" he cut you off with a hug.

That night, you packed your bags like usual, but this time, another person was packing alongside you. This time, when you set your alarm, another person had the appointment with you.

And when you woke up to go home the next morning, it was the next day.

#twisted wonderland #3k followers #twst grim

[juyeonszn]

DIVE TO YOU

PAIRING lee sangyeon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 2.61k

GENRES fluff ﹒suggestive

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DNI u already know, roommates to ;) type beat, ummm they’re naked, they are in a bathtub, sangyeon is… wow sangyeon just deserves a warning on his own, he is A Lot, there’s a mention of a voyeuristic moment but it’s nothing crazy, he massages reader, they make out, i tease u all bc i’m evil like that

SUMMARY you’ve never really thought of sangyeon in an explicit way, but now that you’re stuck in this position, it’s going to be difficult for your thinking to go back to normal.

MORE SURPRISE ALLY (@winterchimez) MY BELOVED THIS ONE IS FOR U <<<3 i hope i didn’t kill u </3 this is another request from my 100 followers event! prompts used are: 9, 16, 17 🤞

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs

You hated your job more than anything in the world. It was mind-numbing. All you did was stare at a computer all day and type type type, responding to emails or drafting up documents for your boss. It was exhausting. To be honest, you were sick of it.

But you needed it, unless you wanted to get kicked out of your apartment for not making your share of the rent. Sure, having a job you disliked wasn’t ideal, but you were surviving and wasn’t that all that mattered?

Besides, you’d probably die if you were forced to move out of your apartment. Your roommate was the only reason you moved in to the damn place despite rent being so fucking expensive.

You remember the day you stumbled upon his ad like it was yesterday, though it had already been exactly one year. You’d just finished your first month at your job and you were growing tired of dealing with your parents. Yeah it was nice that you didn’t have to worry about half of your current expenses while living under their roof, but you knew you needed to ship up and move out eventually. You figured this was the perfect time to do so.

You scoured the internet for apartments, but soon realized that living on your own would be way too much, considering all of the other things you also had to worry about now. As you started filtering through listings that requested a second habitant, you stumbled upon your roommate’s. The rent itself was a little bit over your budget, but the way he worded his ad had you hooked.

Just an hour later you were emailing him and setting up a meeting to discuss important details. You met up at a cute little coffee shop a few days later when you both found some free time. Being the punctual person you were, you arrived earlier than planned, ordering your go to and picking a two seater in the corner by one of the floor-to-ceiling windows.

You had always been the type to psych yourself up before doing anything major. You needed at least half an hour of prep time if you were making any important decisions, because you could not handle things going wrong. Everything in your life had to be carefully and methodically done. You liked to say you were thorough, but everyone else called you a perfectionist. It is what it is.

And because you didn’t know this guy, you had no idea what he looked like and you weren’t aware that he had the same mindset. You glance up from your drink to see the most handsome man you’ve ever laid your eyes on walk into the cafe, ordering something you can’t make out. He looks like something straight from a drama, his hair styled neatly and his outfit put together. Even under his thick coat, you could see how well sculpted he was.

You don’t realize that you’re staring until he’s suddenly walking towards your direction, his coffee in his hands. He furrows his brows and clears his throat. “Hi, I don’t mean to bother you, but do you happen to be Y/N?”

Oh my god. No way. There was no way this hunk of a man was your potential roommate. It was impossible.

When your lips part in shock and you don’t respond for a couple seconds, he blinks at you. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that impossible. You nearly facepalm for already making such a fool of yourself before you’ve even held a proper conversation. You stumble over your words as you gesture to the chair across from you. “Y-Yes! Yes, that’s me. Please, take a seat!”

He smiles politely, setting down his drink and shedding his coat. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Sangyeon.”

You wipe your hands on your jeans before reaching to shake his hand nervously. If you could hardly handle this simple meeting, how could you handle living with the guy? He might send you into spontaneous combustion by just looking at you.

Sangyeon had the patience of a saint, and you would be eternally grateful for it. After getting to know each other better and growing more comfortable around him, the two of you discussed the roommate situation. You truly lucked out in finding him, seeing as you shared a lot of similar ideals. He even offered to lower your part of the rent as much as he could, explaining that you were by far his favorite candidate for the second room.

Later that same day, you went over and got an apartment tour prior to signing a lease agreement. And then the rest was history.

You sigh as the clock finally hits 6, signaling the end of your very long work day. One thing you disliked about getting off at the time you did was the fact that it was always snowing. It made it hard to navigate your way home, since most people packed around the bus stops like sardines. You hug your coat to yourself to block out the harsh winds, your scarf wrapped up to your nose.

You were tired and cold and all you wanted was to be inside the blanket that was your apartment, soaking in a hot bath with a glass of wine beside you. Sangyeon was supposedly working late today, which meant you’d have some much needed alone time.

The entire bus ride, you find yourself drifting off and then startling awake when you drove over a bump. You don’t remember the last time you were this drained after a work week. It could’ve been because you stayed over time a couple days, but you didn’t think it would affect you that badly.

When you finally arrive at the stop near your apartment, you’re almost in a zombie-like state, trudging through some of the snow that has started to stick. The only thing keeping your eyes open was the obnoxious chattering of your teeth.

It feels like a millennia by the time you’ve reached your front door, hands shaking as you attempt to unlock it. You’re partly surprised you didn’t drop your keys. The moment you step into your home, it’s like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

From the lingering scent of your peppermint and vanilla candle to the warmth of the building’s heating, you felt like you’d just been cuddled by a teddy bear. You shrug off your coat and hang it on the set of hooks beside the front door, leaving your shoes on the rack just beneath. Your sock clad feet drag you towards the kitchen, where an unopened bottle of wine awaits you.

You’re tempted to just drink straight from the bottle, but you didn’t want to get shitfaced, you just wanted to feel relaxed. Nevertheless, you pour yourself a… hefty… glass and waddle to the bathroom. A mental note was made to thank your coworker for the bath salt and bubble set she got you as a gift, seeing as it was finally being put to good use.

It doesn’t take long for you to peel off your layers of clothing after you’ve turned on the faucet and adjusted the temperature to your preference. You watch with heavy eyelids as the bubbles begin to form along the surface of the water, rising up and filling the tub. You dip your toes in while simultaneously taking a sip of your wine, damn near moaning at how much better you felt.

You press play on one of your playlists and light a candle before finally sinking into the water, succumbing to its serenity. Your eyes start to flutter shut and you don’t even try to fight the sleep that calls your name.

You’re not sure if hours or minutes have passed since you fell asleep, but the creaking of the bathroom door opening stirs you from your slumber. Most people probably would’ve had a bigger reaction, considering someone just walked into the bathroom without checking if it was occupied first. And also because you had assumed you were home alone.

This was one of the various times you wished the earth would just swallow you whole.

Lee Sangyeon stands in the doorway, shoulder resting against the threshold with his arms crossed. His dress shirt from work is unbuttoned all the way to the third from the top, his muscular frame stretching the fabric deliciously. You wondered how he was comfortable, since he wore such tight shirts. Occasionally you truly understood why the term ‘Take A Picture, It’ll Last Longer’ existed.

You were extremely thankful that you added bubbles to your bath, the foam covering up your body where the sun usually doesn’t shine. Sangyeon has an amused glint in his eye and even with the fogginess of your partially awake brain coupled with the few sips of wine you’ve had, you know it’s off brand for him.

“S-Sangyeon, what are you doing in here?” You trip over your words, wrapping your arms around yourself tightly.

“Well, I just got home and I was planning on doing the same thing as you,” he rolls his neck as if to display his own tension from a long day. “But it looks like you’ve beat me to it.”

You blink at him. Why was he still standing there? Staring at you like… that?

“Um… Why haven’t you left?” You swallow, but your mouth is dry.

“Is there some space in that bathtub?”

He asks the question so smoothly, the words rolling off of his tongue like he’s asked to join you in the bath on numerous occasions. You gape at him, your head spinning in circles. Perhaps you were still half asleep and your mind was playing tricks on you. That made the most sense. Perfect, sweet roommate Sangyeon would never ask you a question like that.

“I’m sorry?” Part of you feels stupid, gawking at the male and stumbling over your speech. It’s like you’ve completely malfunctioned, every logical point of your body shutting down for unscheduled maintenance. You had to recalibrate your systems fast.

Sangyeon repeats himself, not skipping a beat as he does so. You do a 180, glancing around the room as if someone else was present. You jab a finger into the only exposed part of your chest and then at the water with scrunched eyebrows.

“Yeah, is there some room in there for me to fit? You know, Y/N,” he shrugs, going for the next button on his shirt. “I have seen you naked before.”

You nearly drown yourself on the spot. Lee Sangyeon has seen you naked? This was news to you. Last you checked, neither of you had ever done anything intimate enough for that. He laughs that attractive laugh of his, his eyes forming crescent moons. You’re enticed to drown yourself a second time.

“Y-You have?” This was probably single-handedly the most embarrassing moment of your life.

“To be fair, it was an accident. I walked past your room while you were changing once but you didn’t have the door closed all the way, and well, I am a man so, I couldn’t help but take a peek.” He scratches the back of his neck, letting out a small chuckle. Okay so God definitely had favorites and you weren’t one of them. Nice to know.

He unbuttons another button, stepping closer to you, closing the distance between you. He crouches next to the tub, finally at eye level with you. Oh, what you would give for a moment of this man’s time. Here he was, handing you just that on a silver platter and you were royally fumbling the bag.

“So is that a yes?”

You really don’t trust your own voice, so you merely nod, biting back the urge to groan when he grins at you, standing upright. It’s like you’re stuck in a trance, watching him clear the rest of the buttons of his shirt like light work. The sight of his abdomen on full display has you releasing a tiny squeak. Then comes the unbuckling of his belt and that alone is a mental image you don’t think you could ever forget. You dip your chin into your shoulder, looking away when he strips the rest of his clothes.

You feel him before you hear him, his leg brushing against the back of your arm as he slips behind you into the tub. He exhales deeply, exactly like you did when you got in. You’re as stiff as a board, not sure what you should do with your roommate naked and sitting behind you, sharing bath water like it was a regular Friday night. You keep your focus on the faucet, too afraid to make any sudden movements.

“Relax, N/N,” he pins his chest to your back, hands coming up to massage your shoulders. “You’re so tense.”

The way he works his thumbs into your skin has shivers running down your spine, your entire being feeling like it’s lit up. You suppress a whimper when he kneads a knot just below your neck, squeezing your eyes shut and biting your lip. Before today, you’ve never really thought of Sangyeon in an explicit way. Sure you thought he was extremely handsome, but that had always been just a surface level notion. You’d never fantasized about a crazy, fan-fiction type moment like this. But now that you’re in it, you don’t think your thinking could ever go back to normal. You could never see him as just your handsome roommate.

You have half the mind to scoot into his lap, but it seems like he’s beat you to it, sliding his hands down to your waist and pulling you towards him. Your eyes widen when you feel him, hard and pressed to your lower back. At that, you finally make a noise; something between a strangled moan and a whine.

Sangyeon brings his lips to your ear, grazing them along the shell of it. “Can you feel how much I want you?”

“Y-Yes,” you gasp. “I can feel you.”

This is insanity. Were you still waking up, conjuring up this entire scenario with your half conscious mind? Maybe some sick and deluded higher power wanted you to realize the possibility of having feelings for Sangyeon, and this was their way of doing it.

But then one of his hands trails to your thigh and he pinches you lightly. That’s how you know this is real, this is actually happening. You crane your neck slightly to glance at him. His eyes are darker than usual, a deep brown swimming with lust that almost looks black. It’s similar to how a predator would stare down its prey and it’s a look you could get used to.

Sangyeon’s gaze flickers down to your lips and you just about lose your last bit of clarity, leaning forward to connect your mouths. It’s kind of messy, kind of rough, but the way your stomach twists into knots and goosebumps litter your arms makes you think that the higher being you were cursing minutes ago was actually doing you a huge favor. You’d have to thank them later.

One of Sangyeon’s hands comes up to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing your cheekbone as he does so. Without parting, you turn around in his lap, straddling him as best you can in your limited space. If you thought you felt him before, you definitely feel him now, his cock pulsing against your aching core. Your need was carnal, primal even. He hisses when you grind down on him, gripping your hips to halt you.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, sweetheart.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

#the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz suggestive #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz suggestive #the boyz sangyeon #tbz sangyeon #lee sangyeon x reader #lee sangyeon suggestive #sangyeon x reader #sangyeon suggestive #juyeonszn #juyeonszn.100🪩

[jooniperbonsai]

Thanks For the Sub (ksj) | Chapter Two

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 13.7k

Release date: Mon. February 5, 2024

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn (?), coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: Now aware of Seokjin's secret, you try to take some of his...techniques into your next stream. But how well will they pay off?

Chapter Warnings: anxiety, discussion of boundaries and triggers, Seokjin explains what bdsm is supposed to mean to us watching at home, internet/cyberbullying dynamics, boss/employee power struggles, discussions of consent, peer pressure, mention of threesome, implied chubby/fat reader (it's vague enough to not adopt a specific size), mention of sex toys, swearing, sexual fantasies, m masturbation, damn Seokjin has a boner so many times in this sorry, size kink, y/n assumes Seokjin's sexuality, porn simulation games, 1 (one) reference to Vine (RIP), Dom Seokjin, kink negotiation, mention of choking and improper bdsm practices, mention of urethral sounding (but not actually happening)

a/n: Ahh hello! First of all, thank you to everyone who has read TFTS so far! It really warms my heart knowing how well received it's been, and your comments and messaged have meant so much. I really wanted to emphasize discussions of consent and boundaries in this chapter. I was struggling to write for a little bit, and then suddenly I saw this one gif of Jin on my feed and my brain jimmy neutron brain blasted my way to a 13k length chapter. Hopefully I've proofread well enough, but if you spot some serious errors please let me know. -h

On Saturday afternoon, Seokjin woke up for the first time in what felt like forever feeling rested. After checking the weather app on his phone constantly throughout the night, he received the alert that heavy snowfall was causing delays in plowing and public transit. He messaged the opening crew, encouraging them to also enjoy the lie-in and prepare for a delayed open. Instead of falling into the semi-sickening lovefest of couples peeling each other’s perilla leaves or trying to feed each other lunch, he could be spared until the evening. 

Which was good, because Seokjin was exhausted. His live last night was not planned, but after closing and apologizing to you about his gross mismanagement of power, he needed to get out the pent-up frustration that crumbled the bones in his body from pressure. 

Sure, it was the right thing to do to apologize, even though he knew he would never be able to look at that prep counter, your wide, glassy eyes, and swollen lips the same way again. But it was important to him. He could never become the kind of man he watched his boss be to him or his wife, forcing his way past someone’s boundaries to get what they wanted. 

Even years later, Seokjin was convinced that had he not shared information about Soon Yi that intrigued his boss, if he’d maybe kept his personal and professional lives separate, things maybe would have been different. And now that he was in the position of power where he was someone else’s boss, wasn’t it his duty to make sure that didn’t happen to you too?

Seokjin almost lost all his control with you yesterday. From the moment you came in with a tired, croaky voice that greeted him “hi” before the sun had even come up, he knew he would be struggling for the rest of the day. 

During multiple points of your training, he had the urge to touch you, which was nearly impossible not to do, since so much of the guidance you needed came from hand-over-hand instruction as he showed you the fluid motions of safe chopping. When his large hands covered yours, Seokjin became aware of how tiny you were to him. Maybe not in all the places, but your height, your smaller hands, they showed him how easily and perfectly you slotted into his body, like a puzzle piece he didn’t know he could ever feel matched to. 

Maybe Seokjin executed this desire to touch you a little too dramatically. When he saw your misplaced cutting knife, he let that excuse lead him head-first into white hot desire, scolding you, watching you squirm a little as you felt embarrassed for losing focus. And that seemed to unlock some feral need in him, to get you to squirm a little more, to touch you and feel the velveteen softness of your forearms as he pinned you against the prep table. 

The little gasp you’d let out sent the blood straight to his cock, and to avoid you seeing how easy and embarrassingly you could undo him–how quickly one singular sound from you would make Seokjin rock hard and panting and under your complete power–he reacted, clasped your wrists, used some set of excuses to get closer, let his arm skim across your cheek to grab a packet of whatever the hell was above you. And the way you didn’t resist, didn’t pull away from his grasp showed him how good you could be, how obedient you were as you turned around when told. 

He should’ve stopped there, but you were standing in front of him, smelling a little bit like coffee and a fruity shampoo you used, your bodies only mere inches from full on contact. And Seokjin wanted more of a reason to hold onto you, to see what ways he could rile you up, whether you were cognizant or not of how, well, submissive you were to him. 

Most of his income from streams came from scenarios where Seokjin played into a softer role, which translated into the role of a submissive pretty boy, and usually a bottom. But for the first time in years, a rich, satisfying wave of dominance rolled back into his body and he welcomed it.

Seokjin knew better, but he couldn’t help himself. The one bit of control he maintained was in his refusal to let go of your hands, even after you had mastered the motions of your knife, possibly even better than Seokjin himself could chop. Because if Seokjin declawed himself from you, his hands would absolutely wander. Up the sleeve of your exposed forearms and down the swell of your breasts and full hips. 

His cock ached thinking about how plush and soft your body would be under his hands, how he wouldn’t have to worry about breaking you. He could safely grope your sides and not feel like he would pinch your bones together, and that was important, because Seokjin liked to be rough.

When that carrot fell, you couldn’t shake Seokjin’s desperate hands off yours and you carried him with you as you curved your body toward the floor to pick up your mess. Seokjin was blessed and cursed with the brief moment he got to touch more of you than he ever had as your ass rocked back and ground gently into him. 

He’d moaned, though he tried to disguise it as a grunt or scoff, but the way your delicious ass attracted him right in between the line of your cheeks practically begged him to rut against you. 

Your reaction of shock, though, halted him as he remembered you two were in the kitchen of his family’s restaurant. He scrambled to cover his dick before it became even more obvious and humiliating. 

And then you fell, because Seokjin was an idiot and forgot he had been holding onto you. 

The sound of your head crashing into the metal ricocheted through his ears, and your pained moan sent him spiraling in panic. He didn’t think. Seokjin wasn’t the best at remaining calm during potential medical emergencies, instead of electing to assess your wellbeing and check-in with you, he just reacted, plucking you off the floor and onto the counter.

You can’t manage a restaurant without carrying heavy sacks of rice or flour, cartons of vegetables or gallons of oils and liquids into the space. That, plus the fact that Seokjin did go to the gym to keep his figure, ensured that when he had to pull you up from the floor, he could do so with ease. Which thanks to his awful, overly enthusiastic libido, was really locking in some potential size kink. If Seokjin could hoist you onto the cold prep counter without breaking a sweat, it meant he could also hoist you onto other things, like his cock. Could bounce you up and down and see how those delicious, large tits would follow his pace.

Fuck. 

This was when Seokjin realized even though he was deeply, deeply interested in these fantasies, his reality was different. Because too easily he had dipped into some innate submissive part of you and decided to play with it and tease you for it. Too easily, he has erased any boundary between professional and personal, and now you are walking around with a giant bruise on your forehead. He used his power to manipulate you, didn’t he? While the tiniest part of him argued back, suggesting it was purely mutual attraction and biology, that he shouldn’t apologize because he swore he saw something in your eyes that almost guaranteed you wanted him too, this is why Seokjin had to apologize. The “almost” of it all. He wasn’t sure, which meant the uncertainty was a risk and just because he wanted something to be true didn’t mean it was. 

By the end of the day, the intense proximity to you and the memory of your lips parting to suck his tongue into your mouth had become too much. Seokjin turned on an impromptu stream to wallow in his self pity and direct that dominant energy into something that was far less harmful and at least lucrative. 

Now, as the winter’s dull afternoon light glowed through the city, Seokjin checked his phone, seeing that the evening crew leader had arrived and informed him that everything was covered and they wouldn’t need the extra help. 

With that update, Seokjin’s entire evening just became available, which was a rare thing for him since he moved up in his job role. But because of this, he was unsure what to do to pass the time. He cooked himself dinner, cleaned, and organized the jars in his refrigerator, needing to keep his hands busy to distract himself from thinking about you. 

His apartment looking immaculate and there no longer being anything else to clean, he finally fired up his computer to play games. Maybe this would serve as a proper distraction. His new PC was set to come early next week after being delayed by the snow. Despite Seokjin’s financial success since his start as a streamer, money to him was still something he wasn’t sure what to do with. 

After Worldwide Handsome took their cut from last night’s fifteen grand in earnings, he would be walking away with about ten thousand dollars. He would, albeit quietly, pour around seven thousand of those dollars into the restaurant, where the mom-and-pop feel of the small shop was starting to show its age.

Last week, he’d called a repairman to give him a quote about fixing a broken coil on one of the griddles. After a quick inspection, he was informed most of the unit was corroding, and it was time to seriously consider a replacement. Between that, the new register he ordered, and the walk-in freezer that was coughing its last breath, probably as we speak, Seokjin spent nearly forty grand in the last month with repairs and replacements to keep the shop running another day. 

His parents had insisted they’d pay for the expenses, but after the first few discoveries he’d made of the DIY wiring his father had tried in earnest to configure, Seokjin stopped alerting them to the updates he was making, hoping that distance, age, and some fairly similar looking appliances would allow for these changes to go undetected when they returned. He had seen what this place made. He’d seen his paycheck. There was no way in hell his father could afford an $18 to 25,000 walk-in freezer on their operating budget. 

Overall, Seokjin made plenty of money with streaming, but beyond some investments and his nice apartment, as well as a savings account to ensure he wasn’t completely destitute, he lived much below his means. When he hit goals during his streaming, it did really feel like he was winning big. To buy himself a new PC was something he knew he worked for.  

Just as he was browsing the new skins in the game store, he heard the familiar chime and his heartrate picked up. 

You were live. 

He hesitated. “No,” he said out loud to himself, his voice croaking after hours of not speaking. “Don’t even think about it.” 

He knew if he looked at you right now, all the distractions, the cleaning, the dedication to keeping himself busy, would be for nothing. It would be painful to look at you–probably all cozy with your hair pulled messily away from your face, your glasses hanging off your nose instead of your usual contacts–and not think about how merely hours ago he had your heat rubbed up against him. 

If he really wanted to torture himself, he would also think about how the casual, disheveled look you sported could have been something he woke up to this morning if he’d tried a little harder, the loose t-shirt you probably wore rising up while you slept next to him, exposing the soft tummy he knew hid under it. Maybe even one of your nipples would slip out, hard from the chill of the cold winter air bleeding into his apartment. 

But Seokjin wouldn’t torture himself. He knew better. When he exited his game, he definitely didn’t launch his web browser and go to your channel that was on his Favorites tab. And he definitely didn’t cup himself through his sweats as he watched you appear before him. 

If the idea of you in casual wear could make him this hard, the view of you now, as you sat on stream with a tight, low-cut top that showed the curve of your breasts and their delicious, lickable valley between them, could easily turn every part of him into stone. You did your makeup today. Let your hair delicately frame your face. You looked like you were logging on to lure your viewers to come to you like a siren. Seokjin wanted you to devour him. 

His cock twitched and he groaned. He was such a pervert. But whoever this Y/N was, she looked like she was ready to play some games, and not the kind that Seokjin was used to seeing on stream. 

“Well, hello,” you purred. Was this really happening? Who the fuck had possessed the wide-eyed, awkward gamer he was used to watching?

“I thought, given that it’s so close to Valentine's Day, and because I missed the stream last night, I would make it up to you.” 

Seokjin froze. How had he not known you were supposed to stream yesterday? He would’ve never let you stay so late. He shot you an apologetic text,and when he looked up from his phone, he saw some of the comments flooding into your feed:

Mingisaysrelax: Um…am I on the right website? 😏💦

MountainSan88:😳 

PizzaBoy97: You look really pretty 😍

MizzVyne: Is this allowed? IS THIS ALLOWED?

Seokjin watched as your chat exploded in response to your new look, clips being taken by the hundreds when you leaned down to adjust your seat and the tops of your breasts jiggled. Your mods seemed to be on top of things though, because as soon as he saw raunchy or hateful comments, they were swiftly being taken down. 

“I’m not going to read my comment section right now, but I assume you’re all a little shocked by my appearance. I don’t know, I was feeling a bit inspired by another streamer I watched last night when I got home from work. He had some really good ideas on um…stuff, and no I’m not going to share who he is because some of you will absolutely cyber bully him for being associated with me and he deserves better than that.” 

He. A pang of bitterness surged through Seokjin. It was laughable, really, how he was jealous because you were watching other male streamers when you got home from work, completely oblivious to how on another site he was jerking his aching cock to his viewers thanks to how worked up you made him. 

“But yeah, I’m going to switch up the stream in the second half, if you want to stick around and see.”

This really piqued his interest, pressing his palm down onto his erection to try and relieve some of the pressure. 

You frowned at your screen as you launched your game, some first person shooter that would hold your attention so you wouldn’t have to talk.

You opened your mouth to add something, but you were immediately dropped into your game, setting your jaw as you focused on the controls in front of you, occasionally panicking, key smashing so loud that it drowned out your squeals when you were knocked over and over again and needed a revive. 

Seokjin assumed whatever teammate who kept reviving you must’ve been a subscriber who was stream sniping…or reverse stream sniping? Stream assisting and reviving as you struggled your way through the game. 

Something really stuck with him as you played. Whoever this “mentor” was must have been well versed in the knowledge that on any streaming platform, sex sells, especially for women. Your new look was drawing in quite the crowd. He wasn’t sure he’d seen you have this many subs, points, or viewers while streaming before. It was like a switch flipped. 

He felt a tiny flutter of something like pride swell into his chest. You were becoming more confident every day he knew you, from your knife skills to school teaching to now streaming. 

“Oh shittttttt,” you groaned into your mic, ripping Seokjin away from his soft reverie and back into full on, desperate wanting. Maybe you were toeing the community guidelines with this stream, but that groan sounded almost pornographic coming out of your mouth, and any chance Seokjin had at trying to be respectful was long gone. 

He cocked an eyebrow. “Oh you’re being a bad girl tonight I see,” he chuckled to himself.

Almost as if you heard him, you giggled back, biting your lip playfully. Fuck, what were you doing to him? Your chat seemed to be in a similar standing. 

As a result, One of the mods pinned an announcement to the top:

W0nW00: To maintain community guidelines and compliance, we are labeling this channel as 18+. We ask that you be respectful to Y/N and her moderators as we continue with this stream. If your account is set to under 18, you will be redirected in 2 minutes. 

Shit, all for a simple moan? 

You paused the game. “I’m going to go for a bio break. Be right back.” You set your break screen, and instead of the usual, cutesy graphic of a cherry blossom tree blowing in the wind that said “Spring Day Streams”, it was now a neon, vaporwave cityscape and said “Join Us For Spring Night Streams, An After Dark Experience”. 

Seokjin’s eyes wide, he finally released his cock from his sweats, and took himself in his hand. Oh, this was going to be good. 

Seokjin is a camboy.

That’s the only thought splitting through the headache you’ve had all morning. Is there such a thing as an orgasm hangover? Because if so, you’ve got one. If not, maybe you were concussed in the kitchen yesterday.

You’ve spent most of the day trying to clean up the mess of your apartment and frankly, your mental state. Seokjin spends his Friday nights Daddy domming his humble pool of viewers and making thousands of dollars doing so. To even think that sentence feels insane. 

And humiliating. Because attached to that sentence is the realization that Seokjin’s major success as a gay camboy means that he is absolutely not thinking about you the way you are of him, and the kiss you imposed on him at work was definitely not consensual after all, which when you think about it, is obvious based on how frantically he apologized and assigned himself at fault for what happened. He was trying in the most polite way to reject you. 

You’re an idiot. And despite all of it, the shame of your action isn’t what’s delivering the heavy punch; it’s the fact that your crush didn’t die the second you found out last night. If anything, you’ve been silently wallowing in your sadness since you woke up, your stupid heart not processing that there’s one significant reason for why you can’t have him. 

You try to trudge through the fog of it all, placing your newly cleaned toys back into their proper dust cases and compartments before returning them to the drawer next to your side table. You switch loads of laundry and drop the warm pile on your bed, grimacing at the idea of having to fold it all. 

You shouldn’t be disappointed. This is a stupid crush that was never meant to go this far. Not to this place where you aren’t just humiliated, but the loneliness that you often avoid feeling has been spilling through the cracks of your life all day. 

The laundry is the only thing that occupies one side of your bed. Never another body, his warmth, his weight existing as another living thing keeping your living thing company as you fold laundry or wash dishes. 

No, you shouldn’t have projected this crush or obsession or whatever you want to call it onto Seokjin, but in these months of conversation and blooming friendship, you’ve found your mind beginning to wander into the fantasy of not just sex, but safety and connection. He’s a man who has always treated you with the utmost respect, even now in how he has maintained a boundary that gently rejects you, even if it’s confusing. 

Before his promotion at the restaurant, there was collaboration that fostered your trust in him; your bodies started working around each other like dancers, fusing your movements with a natural flow. You’d seen some of that pop up throughout the day yesterday, which you couldn’t help but feel like delivered a bit of hope in your stomach. 

You know it’s useless to continue hoping that something will change. Maybe he’s bi, you’ve thought a few times since you went to bed. He did call everyone a good girl. But, don’t some guys call each other girls as some kind of kink? But even hoping for that still feels wrong in your gut. Instead of wishing he just so happens to like pussy, you should be redirecting yourself from the fact that it doesn’t even matter. He said so himself, he’s your boss. 

“Ugh,” you groan into your unfolded laundry. Why can’t anything ever be easy? 

You shove the clothing pile to one side of your bed as you lie down, staring up at the ceiling, your eyes following the soft pattern of cracks that have begun to appear through the paint. You already know that going back to work on Monday will be awful, not just because this crush won’t crush itself, but because you clearly now know more about Seokjin than he perhaps ever wanted you to know. Won’t it be awkward trying to talk to him? And if he asks why you’re being so weird, what will you even say?

Sorry Seokjin, I’m not sure how to talk to you anymore because I spent Friday cumming while watching you on your gay cam show as you stroked your huge dick and admittedly once I saw your face connected to your dick I had the best orgasm of my life that rendered me useless the next day.

Perfect. This won’t be absolute hell at all. 

Your stream alarm rings on your phone. You sigh. That’s right. You promised a makeup stream to your followers. 

How did Seokjin stream so confidently? Last night, the way he just exuded dominance and control, how he managed to get so much money from sitting there and making his chat do the work? It’s not only impressive but also inspiring. If you were able to have that distance from your chat, maybe things would be a bit easier, and the questions that were so personal and directed would fade into the background while ones of adoration and impersonal fantasies could take their place. 

And the money, god. If you had money like that, you wouldn’t have a stack of financial aid forms sitting on your dresser right now waiting for you to basically jump through hoops to ask nicely for a loan. 

The way he was able to be so different and make money off of it? That feels promising to you too. Because whoever Daddy Dom Seokjin is, he isn’t just walking around in the world being “on” all the time. You know him as someone whose ears flush with embarrassment the second one of the delivery guys tells him he made an error with the order and tries to diffuse the tension with some free snacks; who often hums game scores and whose laugh sounds like a squeaky windshield wiper swiping across dried glass. 

What if you could be more like that? 

Not Daddy Dom or Mommy Y/N, but more casual and detached? You could stop reading your chat and answering questions. Or if you did want to play into some of Seokjin’s sex appeal, you could dress slightly more suggestively or do your hair and makeup to exploit the male gaze’s money a bit, just like how Seokjin did. 

In this world of streaming, where everything feels like fractured versions of reality, parts of you being split among the pixels and delivered and digested into someone else’s home for their entertainment and pleasure, it’s hard for you to ever feel like you can have some close community with your followers. Not like Wonwoo does with his. Because of your start and how people perceive you now, there just doesn’t seem to be a way for you to have intimacy. Even if you tried, your chat flies by so quickly now that unless it’s a notification from a mod, any usernames and personal anecdotes are lost before you can even know who’s who. 

You think about it for a bit. It can’t hurt to try, right? It’s not like you being a little less reserved would automatically launch you into a career in porn. And if it will help bring a little more income in, lessen the blow a tiny bit, you can’t really see why it would make sense to keep doing things this way when you are this miserable by the idea of it. 

Spring Day Streams holds a standard image that is pink and soft, and you know some people love watching you because you’re hitting some fantasy they have. The woman who looks like an angel but swears like a sailor and as stereotypes often assume, fucks like a demon. 

What could “fuck like a demon” look like on an often all ages game streaming platform, though? Well, not all ages. Some streams are only accessible to registered users over the age of 18. Usually the age filter is there because the game is super graphic, or the streamer is a sex educator or swears so much the algorithm has started penalizing them. A few times though, you’ve seen some streamers playing games that are so raunchy they’re basically porn. And porn versions of those games exist, but to keep some of them streamer-friendly, they also sell versions that don’t have uncensored anime girls receiving creampies. That would definitely maintain the brand without going too far, right? 

You open your phone, typing in some of the titles of games, mostly dating simulators you’ve seen other streamers play before, and then you stumble across one called MiCamStudio, a puzzle game with the plot where you’re the manager of a camgirl enterprise and your goal is to become the most successful, richest entrepreneur while keeping your girls happy. 

You laugh. It feels a bit on the nose, but a fun way to shake things up in an after-dark concept. And it’s not too expensive, which means if this entire plan bombs, you won’t have invested much into it. Fine, you’ll do it. 

Wonwoo responds right away after you shoot a quick message with your idea to your mods on discord to help them prepare. 

On it. 

With a deep breath, you start to get ready. 

As you brace yourself to come back from your short bio break and announcement, your heart is hammering in your ears. What if everyone left? What if things get weird or gross or you think you’re being kind of sexy and cute but are really just being an idiot? 

Suddenly, this entire idea seems so stupid. What if your mom decides this is finally the time she wants to watch you stream? She hasn’t ever had the interest to, but what if she finally thinks to herself on a random Saturday night in February, “Wow, I sure do crave watching some video game streams! Say, I know my daughter Y/N streams. I should check it out!” or worse, what if someone she knows sends one of the clips or a screenshot of you with your tits practically out? 

Your anxiety is starting to win in this battle, and as you pace back and forth in front of your computer, shaking your clammy hands and trying to remember how to breathe, you see the number of viewers has dropped since the stream moved from all ages to 18+. Which means that you can now read your chat again. 

The comments are actually really supportive. Among them are some of your mods cheering you on, but one username anchors you back into your chair as you watch the notification dance across the screen. 

JokeJinSeokjin has subscribed for 3x months!

Seokjin. Seokjin is live and watching you. Which you expect to be the thing that will throw you over the edge. Seokjin, your boss. Your kind of friend. Your crush. The man who you are trying to emulate in this attempt to be sexy and earn more money and confidence. 

Surprisingly, a warm glow of comfort settles in you stomach instead. Because while maybe in all of this mess there’s plenty to be anxious about, you feel a part of you that’s determined to make him proud, to show him in this rejection what he’s missing out on. You take a deep breath to steady yourself as you hit the button to come back. 

“Ah, hello! I mean-um, hello,” you catch the nervousness pouring out of your shaky voice and clear your throat, trying to sound more composed. 

“I wanted to try something new today. Well, tonight. Welcome to Spring Night Streams, where I’ll be playing some not safe for work in more of a raunchy way type of games. Because as we know if there’s blood and guts and horror, it’s all ages! But boobs, those are a no no!”

You shakily laugh and suck your lip into your teeth. The taste of your lipstick laths over your tongue and you try not to think about how messy you just made it look. Or how you might now have lipstick on your teeth to really add an effect of clownery to your poor jokes. 

“I’m going to play this game? It came out a few years ago, but it’s a puzzle game called MiCamStudio. Maybe some of you have played it. But uh, yeah if you don’t like things like that I can always um…well I’ll just try it and see…” you trail off and nervously fidget with your controls as you open the game. 

Whatever you were expecting out of a dating simulator type game where you were in charge of cam girls, it wasn’t this. When you open the menu to start a new game, the animation that loads after you click “Start Streaming” is dozens of bra-clad boobs bouncing across the screen as it transitions you to the story line menu. 

Jesus Christ. Heat floods your cheeks. This somehow feels worse than the time your earbuds died and you didn’t notice that the audiobook of a very spicy holiday romance you were listening to wasn’t coming through them, but your phone. On the bus. And to make matters worse, you were at a part where the narrator was very generously providing sound effects and moans for the main character as she participated in an orgy with triple penetration. Yikes. 

You begin the walk-through of the storyline, greeted by Candy, a pink haired, busty camgirl who is looking to expand her horizons in the business. As you tap through the prompts, Candy starts to become less dressed, abandoning her already tiny skirt and crop top combo for a barely-there set of lingerie that covers just her nipples and vagina. 

“I need your help!” Candy pouts, her eyes shimmering with tears. “I need 400 new fans for my business or else I’ll be out of work! Quick, use this magic wand as you solve puzzles to help me get closer to my goal!” 

The wand is, of course, a vibrator. When you play through the first level tutorial and are prompted to use the wand, it vibrates the blocks, shifting them into new positions on the screen to match colors together. If you get enough combos, she has a giant orgasm, which increases her fans so you can pass to the next level. 

As you work through some of the first few levels, you notice that your view count has recovered somewhat from earlier, though the comments are kind of off-putting. Not because people are being sexually inappropriate, but because they’re mad you’re not interacting with them. 

NGL I thought this was going to be more fun and naughty. 

Yeah now she’s not even talking to us at all. 

I miss when she was bad at games and it was at least interesting. 

Someone come get me if she starts moaning again like she did earlier. 

Fuck. You are fucking this up. And your viewers are right, you haven’t been talking to them. Or really doing anything but playing the game and trying not to wince from embarrassment every time Candy moans as you make her a star. 

There’s got to be something you can do. You think about Seokjin again, who you’re not sure is still watching, but you hope some of that confident edge he had last night starts to come over you, too. What was it that he did to keep everyone engaged? 

He gave them incentive. A goal. He didn’t have to say much to them but tell them what to do and they happily did it. And that also took the pressure off of him to keep talking. 

With a deep breath, you test the waters. “Oh, you wanted more fun and naughty? Well, you didn’t really work for it did you?” 

You hate the words as they come from your mouth, but they have an immediate result. 

Loyal2You tipped 1600 points. What do you need us to do to earn it?

Your face burns hot, and you sip some water to try and cool yourself, playing it off as nonchalance rather than anxiety. You feel your stomach threatening to lurch into your throat as you force out the next sentence.  

“Mmm, I don’t know. Maybe you need to show me what I need,” you smirk. You really don’t know. Money? Subs? People not questioning you? This to be over?

LongJohn69 gifted 10 subs. Maybe this will help? 😉

“Well, it’s a start. Thanks for the sub,” you giggle, forcing yourself to relax into your chair. 

“Hmm, what can I give you all as a reward? I feel like I could really use some cute new clothes that I can wear for you next stream if you help me?” 

Your voice is softened and the pitch is a bit higher. Maybe Candy’s baby voice is having an impact on you from the game, because your normal, even paced tone is taking a turn. Is this the persona you’ve been trying to find? 

But you need this money. School, your future. You can’t just keep living the way you have been. 

7DaysAWeek tipped 10,000 points. Please, say “thank you 7 days” in that adorable whiny voice, baby. I’ll double tip if you do.

You freeze. 20,000 points is $200. All for you to say something so simple and stupid? 

God, but it doesn’t feel right to do it. You could ignore it, you think. And walk away with $100 before your commission rate is taken out. Which will end up being nothing, you realize.

“Oh, hmm.” You pause and then just do it. “Okay. Thank you 7 Days for the points. I really appreciate it.” You drum up the dramatics, eliciting some horrible, embarrassing baby voice that makes your vowels stringy and weak. 

Yuck. More requests pour in, people eager to get you to recite some innocent seeming phrases that you know are fodder for their spank bank. 

You see a tiny notification flash in the bottom right corner: a private message from Wonwoo. 

Y/N, you could get into deep shit if you aren’t careful. This could potentially violate your terms of service. 

You frown at the message but nod to let him know you read it. 

“Okay, well, I think it’s time we get back to the game!” You awkwardly divert your attention back to the screen, letting Candy’s moans fill the silence as you ignore the new requests and subs for the rest of your stream, too humiliated to think about what they could be saying.

After you end your stream, you feel the damn of tears that was welling your eyes for the last half hour spill. 

What a fucking disaster. What started as a hopeful night turned out to be one of your most streamed yet somehow also least successful broadcasts. The rush of viewers at the start provided you with a great boost, but after you didn’t engage again with the requests, your views, subs, and points plummeted, leaving you with a very slim payout for the day. This wouldn’t be much of anything for your bills once commission is taken. 

You don’t know how people do this. You feel like absolutely dog shit, and you even wrapped early, pretending that you were sick. But maybe you also aren’t really pretending, your stomach feels knotted and sour. 

Something about that felt wrong, but you don’t really understand why. It’s not like you’re prudish or fear sex. On any given day those kinds of requests stack up by the hundreds. But maybe it’s because tonight you finally peeled back the dismissive layer and let them in that has you feeling vulnerable and honestly, a little dirty. 

You wipe some stray tears from your eyes, stretching across the desk to grab your phone and pull it off of do not disturb mode. You see a few texts from Seokjin that he sent while you were streaming. 

Seokjin (8:17PM): Hey! I didn’t know you were supposed to stream yesterday. I would have let you leave early if I’d known.😞

Seokjin (9:15PM): Hey, are you okay? You look really uncomfortable. I know you’re playing and won’t see this until after you’re done but I wanted to check. 

Seokjin (9:47PM): Y/N, please don’t feed into these requests if it’s not what you want. 

Seokjin (10:02PM): Call me. The second you get this. Urgent.

You read the last text, which was sent twenty minutes ago. Shit, did something happen to the restaurant? 

“Y/N,” Seokjin says after one ring, his voice strained. 

“Um, hi Seokjin. I’m just calling you back because you said it’s urgent! Is everything okay with the restaurant? Did the snow knock power out or something? If you need me to come in tomorrow too I can help with stuff.”

“What?” Seokjin pauses for a second, his exasperation now turned to confusion. “No, Y/N. Everything with the restaurant is fine.”

“Oh. Then why did you call?” you ask. 

“Well, if you saw all my texts then you know I was watching your stream. And I just wanted to check and make sure you’re okay after that? Near the end you looked pretty upset.”

The warmth in your stomach you felt when you first heard his voice is gone, replaced by a sharp, gritty unease.

“Oh. Um, yeah I’m…fine,” but the tightness in your throat betrays you and a tiny sob escapes as the tears begin falling again. 

Seokjin doesn’t say anything as you sniffle into your phone, scrubbing the dribble away from your nose and cheeks with your sleeve. 

“Hey,” he says as your cries become softer. “Do you want to get out of the house for a bit?”

“It’s kind of late, isn’t it,” you say weakly. 

“That’s not what I asked. Do you want to get out of the house for a bit?” He repeats. 

Do you? Part of you is exhausted, tempted to just go right to bed. But you know if you lie down right now in the rest of that unfolded pile of laundry you might never emerge. 

“Ok,” you whisper into the receiver. 

“I’ll come get you,” Seokjin says. “Dress warm. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

When you were little, your parents took you on a road trip to get away from the city. You sat in the backseat, kicking your father’s chair grumpily on the first day, tired from waking up early and having to be stuffed into the car with the mountain of snacks, toys, clothes, and camping gear you had shoved in beside you. Your father was patient for the first hour of your kicks, but before long the steady thump thump thump on his lower back was becoming a strong annoyance as he navigated further away from home. 

“Y/N,” your father had sharply warned once he’d had enough. “Keep it up, and I’ll take your feet off and put them into my pockets.” 

While in retrospect the threat is silly and impossible, at the time, your five-year-old self was struck with horror as you imagined him sawing your feet off like the patients who were out in the snow for too long in that medical TV show you saw at your grandparents’ house once.

You’d tucked your feet underneath you until you were at a rest stop, where picnic tables and a small garden scape awaited you, filled with native wildflowers and lazy, fat bees that hovered from flower to flower. 

Your mother smoothed your hair with her hand, guiding you through the garden as your father bought your lunches from inside the building. 

“He didn’t mean it,” she’d said softly, feathering the tips of your hair across your cheek. Goosebumps prickled along your arms and you shivered, even though the sun was heavy and hot on top of you that day. “No one will take your feet from you.” 

You’d hugged her tightly then, still unsure as to why someone would try to take your feet from you. Your tapping in the car was mostly to keep you from feeling like you were going to be sick, but back then you didn’t really have the words to express yourself. 

When your father returned, he wordlessly placed your meal in front of you, including a large, fudgy cookie for dessert. Your father had always been proud, and even then when he didn’t apologize to you and promise he wouldn’t saw off your feet, being given a dessert was as good as any apology. 

He smiled when you licked the smudged chocolate off your fingers, eventually tutting impatiently so your mother would take you to the bathroom to wash up. Afterwards, you found him looking at a map on the building’s outside wall, with a bright cherry red You Are Here sticker signifying where in this confusing picture you were supposed to be. 

“There’s an observation point a few stops away from here. It’s supposed to be a really nice view over a valley. Y/N, do you want to be our navigator for those and help me decide when we should stop to look?” 

Laced in there was his apology. An opportunity at redemption, connection. You’d nodded instantly and scrambled back into the car, no longer upset about having to share your space in the backseat with all the cargo, ready to take on your role as your father’s co-pilot. 

You visited every observation point along that freeway that trip, all the way from the rest stop to the campground in some rural village. Some of the spots were lackluster, now overgrown and showing a view of a wall of trees and bushes and not some regal cavern or farmland below. But there were also the ones that, had you never insisted on visiting, you would have never seen half as much of the flora and fauna you’d expected to see on your camping trip. And it was the one major trip your family had ever had that made you all feel like a collective unit, ready to fight against the forces of grumpiness or foot-sawers together.

From that point on, whenever you saw the sign marker, you couldn’t help but feel a smile bloom on your face, which is why at this moment you are sitting next to Seokjin in his car, bundled up and stupidly beaming at him as he mirrors a happy but confused smirk back at you.

When he’d picked you up, Seokjin didn’t say much, just started driving north, through your neighborhood and into the rolling hills outside of the city. While this morning’s snow still clings to the trees and rooftops of some hillside buildings, surprisingly, the plows have done a good job of ensuring the road is safe and salted. You can feel the tense knots in your shoulders starting to lessen a little just from the feeling of being somewhere else for a while.

As you weave up the mountain side, toward the observation point, you gasp. 

“What?” he asks. “What’s wrong?’ His eyes bulge from his head. 

“It’s just that, I love observation points,” you say sheepishly, not sure if you should divulge your entire story. 

Seokjin nods, thoughtful. “I like to come up here sometimes when I’ve had a really bad day. Just need to clear my head. Seemed like you needed to do that too.” The car curves along the bend, some of the wind fluttering clods of snow from the trees and onto the road. 

“Yeah, I do…” You trail off, letting him take you higher into the mountain before pulling into the observation point. This one has some small cafés and despite the late hour and snowfall, there are still quite a few cars parked in the lot, some sets of families and couples strolling around with warm drinks and peering out onto the twinkling, snow-covered city below. 

“How’s your head,” he asks gently, and it takes you a minute to remember what he’s referring to. You touch the make-up covered bruise and shrug.

 “Eh, it’s not so bad.” Truly, as the day wears on, you are feeling a bit tender, but the swelling has gone down, and your worry has gone with it. 

Seokjin opens your door for you, ever the gentleman, and you try to fight off the harsh tug in your chest that likens this behavior to a date. 

The two of you head over toward one of the lookout points, leaning against the rail posts. You take in the rolling hills below, how soft and plush the city looks now, almost like it could never be a place where you feel sadness or loneliness. You sigh. 

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Seokjin begins gently, “but I was wondering what happened during your stream tonight.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” you assure him. 

Maybe this conversation would feel more uncomfortable if you didn’t already feel so awful. You are just trying to feel a little bit better about this whole ordeal. Trying to find in you some nugget of comfort to ensure a more stable future. And hell, Seokjin had made it seem so easy. But now, you are humiliated. You aren’t sure how you are going to go live again and go back to how things were before when the internet is probably making a giant laughing stock of you, or fetishizing you. You’re not sure which one is worse. 

“So, I know when we used to be, um, friends, I had mentioned to you that streaming is something I fell into. And as you also know from working with me, I don’t have the best social skills. Or I can, maybe, I don’t know. Anyway, I haven’t been liking it that much, really. Mostly because people in the chat always ask really personal questions about me and it feels weird. Like they’re real people but they can’t be real, to me. Does that make sense?”

He nods once, urging you to continue. 

“Right, so, in all of this, I’ve been trying to think of ways to make it more fun for me. And last night I saw you-YouTuber. I saw this YouTube streamer and on his stream he just seemed so cool, and smart. And he was able to both stay engaged without telling everyone everything and had distance. But he also was kind of domin-strong, he was just really good at telling people to meet goals and incentives. And it worked, they did it. I thought, maybe this could help me be better at this so I don’t hate it so much. I could make some persona, do something different that helps me better enjoy it or make more money. I don’t know. It seems stupid now when I think about it.”

“It’s not stupid, Y/N,” Seokjin says, turning to you. Your eyes flit to his face. His nose is pinkish from the cold, and his broad shoulders are tightly bound up to his ears to avoid the chill from spreading. 

“Of course you should like streaming, but if you don’t, if this isn’t the formula that works for you, then maybe you should try something different to help you.”

“How do you do it?” you ask, realizing too late what you are saying. 

Seokjin freezes. “Do what?”

“Um, how do you maintain confidence all the time? Like at work and stuff.”

Seokjin scoffs. “I don’t. You know that. Weren’t you just with me last week when I was bowing and spluttering like an idiot to Mrs. Yoon because that one repair man backed his car over her potted azalea? I was anything but confident then.” 

You fight a soft smile. Seokjin had been trying to scoop the twiggy, out of season bush into a bucket to salvage it before offering to replace it. Mrs. Yoon however, was having none of it, chirping on about how that plant had been germinated from her ancestors’ hillside home generations ago, and despite her choosing to carelessly plop it into a busy alleyway, she was sure there was no replacement that could soothe her aching heart. Seokjin handed her a wad of cash, and a gift certificate to the restaurant in an act of good faith. That seemed to shut her up. 

“You know what I mean,” you nudge. “You have an ability to talk to people though. Even Mrs. Yoon can’t say no to your mother’s bossam recipe when you charm her like that.” 

“First of all, no one can say no to my mother’s bossam recipe, regardless if I’m there to grovel or not. Secondly, you’re charming too, Y/N.”

You chortle at this. You? Charming? “Ha, I wish. But really, Seokjin. Half of that stream was an awkward setup and I thought I was going to puke. And not because of how I was dressed or anything like that. It’s so weird. I don’t really care about if people make comments like that about me because they’re impersonal. But knowing that I am sitting there, and everyone has some expectation of how I’m going to perform for them, it makes me feel awful.” 

“Tell me about it,” you hear him mutter, but he then recovers. “It sounds like that crossed one of your boundaries, then. Just because some explicit stuff doesn’t bother you, doesn’t mean that nothing ever will. And it doesn’t have to make sense. You can not care if strangers are talking about you sexually but care if you’re engaging with them and using sexual innuendos to do so.” 

Part of you is tempted to engage with the comment, to press him to explain and pretend that you have no idea what he’s speaking in regard to. But what good would that do here? Please Seokjin, can you share with me how being a gay sex cammer, which I absolutely already know about after watching you and masturbating to you, has impacted your life? 

God, how mortifying it would be for you. 

Instead, you let the comment go, cutting him enough slack so he can assume you didn’t hear him. 

“You know, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Seokjin adds. You shoot him a look. 

“I don’t really have much of a choice at this point! No offense, but it’s not like I’m making bank at the restaurant, and I already have chosen to withdraw from this term because of billing issues and–” 

“You’re withdrawing from school? Y/N!” He yells,  and you feel a heat of shame flood your cheeks as you see some scattered people shift their attention toward you. 

Now you were both embarrassed and pissed. How dare he scold you?

“Not from school, just the term!” you yell back. You’d made the choice in your spiral this evening, in between bio breaks. It was haunting you as you stared back at the packet of financial aid papers and billings notices. Streaming, you’ve now seen, is such a hit or miss game. And you truly can’t maintain the expenses that can cut into your work hours. Especially if you need to get a different job that isn’t streaming or working at the restaurant. 

“Is..is that where Spring Night Streams is coming from?” he asks, face flushed with embarrassment at his outburst. Your anger dulls.

“Partially. This felt like some way to sustain myself without it draining me. I thought maybe if I look pretty, people won’t just come and try to either ask me super personal things I don’t want to share, or they’ll just feed into basically the illusion of sex and pay me that way. And I can continue to play games and suck at them or be good at them, but the original reason behind why they came to my stream could be replaced with a different person, someone who isn’t so closely trying to dig into me.

“But, then I fumbled the bag, and you saw it. The viewer count was fluctuating so bad, and the second I interacted with that one comment, suddenly I was toeing the line for TOS and could easily have jeopardized my entire branding and be permanently banned from the website for sexual activity. Tonight was one of the lowest payouts I’ve made since I started. And now I know too, this could all just as easily go away if I’m not being…I don’t know. Compliant.” 

Seokjin makes a dissatisfied grunt, his breath coming out in a white puff. Now past eleven, most of the couples and families have dispersed, and the cute café that had advertised decadent looking hot chocolates is closed. The only thing remaining open is the tiny convenient store. 

You try to suppress a shiver but fail. 

“Come on,” he says, guiding you away from the railing and toward the store. 

Inside, the shopkeeper doesn’t even flinch or look away from his phone, which is streaming some sports match in Spanish. 

Seokjin places his hand on the small of your back as he guides you over to the drinks section, gesturing for you to select something from the warm options. 

“I wouldn’t recommend anything pre-made,” he warns, his voice low. “That stuff has probably been here since this morning.” He helps himself to a tea packet and the hot water dispenser. 

You browse a little and find a packet of hot chocolate. While it may not be the fancy, marshmallow delight pink drink that the café had advertised in their window, this will do just fine. 

By the time you’ve gotten your drink mixed together, Seokjin is waiting for you at the counter, a selection of different snacks piled high and a gentle smile on his face despite how bothered and grumpy the shop worker is toward him, practically smashing the food into a bag and muttering a total. 

You hadn’t given yourself a chance to really look at him before, but as he stands before you, you can finally take in how incredible he looks. While he’s wearing some gray joggers underneath, he’s elected for a long black puffer coat and green knit sweater and somehow looks so put together, so…boyfriend. 

Your heart flutters a bit and you try to tamp it down. This isn’t a date, you remind yourself, Get a hold of yourself Y/N. 

As you head back out into the chilly air, you both settle into a table outside of the convenience store, and Seokjin pulls the snacks out of the bag, all of which are your favorites. 

“You remembered?” you ask, a little stunned that he would commit all your tiny convenience store runs to memory over the months you’ve worked together and would split packets of sweet potato puffs and tiny, sweet cakes. He shrugs. 

“Morale is low. You need the boost. Now pass me some of those chips, I’m starving.” 

Your stomach growls in agreement, and you pop open the bag, nibbling away quietly. 

“You don’t need to people please to be a good streamer,” Seokjin says finally, rinsing his mouth with his tea. You chew your bottom nervously but wait for him to continue. “There’s tons of people on the internet who do streaming for all kinds of uh, stuff. And they make a ton of money without compromising their values to do so. Maybe instead of focusing on what you think people want in a stream, do what you want instead.” 

You sigh. “See, that sounds great and all, but when I tried that today, people got mad and left. Did you see all the donations trying to get me to say things or do stuff after that first one?”

Seokjin rolls his eyes, taking a big bite of a chocolate cake thing and chewing diligently. “Welrr,” he begins, his mouth stuffed full, “I guesh you have to undershtand dat peepo on dee internet will always chewz sex first to get what dey wan.” He swallows. “And if that doesn’t work because someone sets a boundary, fuck them.” He pauses. “Not literally!” A blush creeps up his neck. 

You laugh. “I thought you limited your swearing to mostly angry kitchen interactions,” you say, and sip the watery hot chocolate. You wince. 

“You chose wrong with that hot chocolate. I’ll make it up to you next time.” Next time. Your stomach leaps. 

“But you don’t see it because I’m trying to maintain a professional air most of the time. But I say shit, piss, cock and fuck pretty regularly.” Like when you’re camming, you mentally note. 

“Yeah, so, speaking of that. And boundaries. This isn’t really the most professional boss-employee relationship happening right now.” You gesture around you. You didn’t want to say it, but you know it needs to be addressed. Seokjin and you really need to figure out a new set of rules, especially now you know what he does after dark, and he’s watching your streams, too. 

He pauses and sighs. “Shit, yeah, you’re right. Look Y/N, I do want to talk about that. And we can address it. But before we do, I want to finish talking to you about what happened earlier today. Can we do a brief boss-employee dynamic halt for the rest of the time we’re up here? I want to talk to you as a friend right now, which we once were, even if it was for a short time. Will you let me do that?” 

You look up at him, and he’s gazing back with intensity, and also something that looks almost like desperation. 

“Okay,” you say. “For the rest of the time we’re out of the city. We are just two people. Friends. Not boss. Not an employee. Just us.” 

He smiles at that. “Yeah, just us.” 

Seokjin tried to not kick himself in his own ass for doing what he was doing now. Bringing you up here, to his safe place, was far too intimate of a decision. But when he’d watched the rest of your stream, watched you do stuff that– while he couldn’t be absolutely sure but he could assume– tested your boundaries and comfort, he knew he couldn’t just let you spiral by yourself. 

He’d been there before. During a show earlier in his cam career, Seokjin was once asked to try a more extreme kink on his stream which involved a thin metal rod that he would push into his urethra for pleasure. 

He’d agreed to try it before he’d even looked it up, and even when purchasing the equipment, he’d felt really queasy and knew he would hate it. But he’d promised, which he now understood was a fake law people set for themselves to push them past their limits. On the stream where he tested it out, he started shaking and crying, stopping before he could even open the package with the rods in it and ended his stream early. 

From then on, he had spent more time learning about kinks and BDSM. It was much more psychological and technical than he’d realized, with precise and careful movements, components of care, and more thoughtfulness than he’d ever really learned from porn or the internet. 

While he and Soon Yi had been exploratory in their sex life, it wasn’t like they’d ever done proper research when they were together. Looking at things now, he felt a little sickened knowing she could have gotten seriously hurt the times he choked her, not knowing the right placement of hands or pressure to make sure he didn’t cause permanent damage. 

Seokjin then reassessed his boundaries. He never wanted to position himself on his streams where he would succumb to pressure for money and compromise his own safety or desire. This was supposed to be fun.

The main tenets of BDSM are safe, sane, and consensual, which is hard to define on the internet. When something is leaked or found by the wrong party, it can especially compromise consent. With a permanent imprint of something existing once agreed upon, at any point someone’s right to withdraw consent can be invalidated simply because there’s a paper trail. And if that happened, then safety and sanity were sure to be called into question too.

Which is why Seokjin couldn’t stay silent after he saw you drawing breath after shaky breath after the first exchange with that follower. The instant regret that bloomed on your face as you so easily traded your comfort to make money, he never wanted you to feel that or experience it again. 

Which is why you now sat before him, the residual makeup from your stream still there but smeared, a thin looking peacoat doing a lot of work to protect you from the elements. This is why he said dress warm. Why were you wearing a glorified blazer in this weather?

He knew his time was limited with you, and that yes, he was already compromising this boundary that he’d set. But boundaries could be redrawn, and in this moment, he didn’t want the only thing protecting you right now to be that peacoat. He needed to protect you too. 

Granted, you probably were questioning his qualifications in this, and for a brief moment he considered telling you, but he quickly dismissed the idea when he remembered the video of him cumming and saying your name existed on his page if you’d ever gotten curious. Behind a paywall, sure, but it was there. 

No, for now, it was Seokjin and Y/N, friends. Us, he thought, and his pulse quickened unhelpfully. 

You sat in front of him, sipping at that awful hot chocolate, waiting for him to deliver more of his advice. He hesitated to speak more. Here you were, attention fully focused on him, and the dependence on him to get you home tonight, to move back into a world that wasn’t just you two and your own little universe, and all Seokjin was doing was considering how long he could carry on the pause. 

Maybe he would never speak again, and you would have to stay here forever, on top of the mountain as the snow began to gently fall around you two like you both lived in your own private snow globe. 

Wait, snow? Seokjin blinked, and sure enough the flakes were swirling around you both again, the wind kicking up your hair. You let out a sharp shiver, and that broke the fantasy of staying here. 

He ushered you back to the car, where now the snow was coming down in thick, heavy globs that signified the moisture in the air had increased, which made sense. Back in the city, the forecast had said it was set to rain, but he’d forgotten elevation impacts the weather, and that the change of moisture in the air also could result in ice on the way down. 

As you warmed your hands in front of his heat vents, he tried to think of his next move. It was now after midnight, which meant the road authority was probably not planning on plowing the roads anytime soon, and the accumulation quickly erasing the parking lot around you was a sure sign that it soon would be unsafe to drive. 

If you stay here any longer, you might be stuck together all night, an evil idea glinted through his head, and he felt a pulse of desire run through him as he caught a whiff of your soft, sweet scent. 

It would be kind of hot, the two of you snuggled in the backseat of his SUV, you clinging to him tightly to keep yourself warm through the storm as you used his parka as a blanket, the windows fogging up to give you two privacy as you moved tighter together, panting into each other’s mouths when you rubbed up against him and–

No. He couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. Urging his steadily inflating erection down, he glanced over to you, noticing you were still shivering. 

He sighed. God, why did he have to get hard right now, in gray sweatpants no less? Nothing screamed “boner alert” more than seeing a dick swelling in light colored sweats. But you were still cold, and he decided he would rather risk you seeing him hard than your teeth chattering or you getting sick. 

Seokjin removed his puffer, handing it to you. “Here, put this on,” he ordered, and you looked at him, a tremor rocking through your body as you tried to eke out a “thank you”.

You began to put the puffer over your peacoat, but Seokjin shook his head. “I think your peacoat is useless right now. Maybe you should take that off and just wear mine. And then, consider getting a new coat,” he teased. 

You hesitated. “Uh,” you said. Seokjin’s eyebrow raised, and he swiftly adjusted himself in his joggers while you looked down at your coat before sighing and unbuttoning it. 

Fuck. You still had on that same top from earlier, and Seokjin could now see that it wasn’t just a sexy, low cut top that showed your heavy and full breasts, but that it also had a large keyhole cutout through the back, which meant you didn’t wear a bra with it. He bit his lip as he took in your hard and prominent nipples. God, no wonder you were cold. You were practically naked. 

His cock twitched, and any attempts he had at concealing his erection were useless. He was now definitely going to be fully hard for the rest of the drive. 

You zipped yourself into Seokjin’s puffer and let out a satisfied sigh as you nuzzled into the warmth. Seokjin took the opportunity to snatch your peacoat from your lap and drape it over himself, praying that would help conceal some of the compass-pointing-north bullshit he was trying to stave off. 

Unfortunately, you snuggled into his coat was just making it worse. 

Clearing his throat, he started the car, and slowly began testing the surface of the parking lot. It was a little slick, but nothing too bad. If you stayed any longer, though, you would definitely be here overnight. 

With a silent, sad nod to the outlook point, Seokjin prepared himself to head back to reality, where your moment of connection would be replaced by workplace congeniality. 

About halfway down the mountain, the snow surely turned to a heavy rain, aggressively battering down on the windshield and making it nearly impossible to find the lines on the road. 

“I’m sorry, I think I should pull over,” he apologized and you agreed easily, your shoulders relaxing a bit as he pulled over to the side of the road. 

“Well, we never really got to finish talking about stuff anyway,” you offered generously. 

Seokjin smirked back. “Yeah, we didn’t. Look, what I wanted to say earlier was that with streaming, you shouldn’t have to compromise on what you want to be successful. If people leave your stream because they can’t hear you baby voice their requests so they can get off, then fuck them. They aren’t the community of people you want to watch your content, anyway. Those are the type of people who are never satisfied, who will just demand more from you. Sooner or later they’ll be less kind and be aggressive and threatening. And you don’t deserve that, Y/N.” 

He sucked in a breath. “You just need a chance to build confidence, that’s all. Assuming you even want to continue doing these streams. I know you said you don’t feel like you have much of a choice, but maybe I could help you out. Uh, I could give you a raise or something so you could quit! And with school, too, I’m sure we could figure out something! Maybe if it’s not too late you could go back and––”

You held up your hands, signaling for Seokjin to stop talking. 

“I’ve made up my mind! And I don’t think giving me a raise or trying to help me with school would be a great way of maintaining that boundary we are supposed to have, remember? Something tells me a boss isn’t supposed to offer his employee an undeserved pay raise for her personal issues.” You huff.

You were right. Seokjin chuckled. “Okay, fair. I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to throw everything away like I did.” 

You whipped your head over to him. “Listen, Seokjin. I appreciate that you care and don’t want things to happen to me. But I’m also not you. And you also didn’t throw everything away but that’s another topic completely, one I thought we discussed yesterday morning. Regardless, I’m getting a lot of mixed messages here and I need you to help me understand what exactly is happening right now. Are you my friend or my boss? Because right now it feels like you’re telling me what to do like you are in charge of me but hiding it behind the guise of friendship and that’s not how this works. So explain. Ideally before you drop me off and we don’t speak again until Monday.” 

Seokjin swallowed hard, an anxiousness beginning to swirl in your stomach. This whole conversation felt like it was going south really quick. He scrambled to steady himself and took a deep breath.

“You’re right,” he said, running a hand through his hair. He hadn’t styled it today, and the black strands were sticking to his forehead from the melted snow. “I’m sorry. You have every right to decide. And you’d said before that this was a temporary pause. And even if it wasn’t, that’s also your choice.”

“Again, yes, you’re right. But I also don’t see why you seem to care so much!” Your volume raised in annoyance and you crossed your arms over your chest in a puff. “You don’t get to decide I’m some soft little flower who can’t advocate for herself! Like yeah, I feel shitty about what I did but I’m just trying to figure out my boundaries, just like you said earlier! So yes, I have the right to decide if I want to go back to school or not! Thanks for pointing that out!”

If he hadn’t been getting chewed out right now by you, Seokjin would’ve thought you were the cutest thing he’d ever seen, your mouth settled into a sharp frown and your eyebrows knit together as you argued with him. 

Instead though, he felt like a jackass. He’d seriously overstepped in his attempts to protect you, and guilt washed through him as he realized he was placing himself into your shoes. Even if your situations were scarily similar, you still had the right to do what you wanted without his interference. Besides, his intention was to provide safety for you, not control. Maybe he’d underestimated you earlier and how you were utilizing your stream. Yes, you were uncomfortable, but it’s not like you were a child who was set to be taken advantage of, or that you’d make the same mistakes he would.  

“I-I care about you, Y/N. We’re friends. I know being your boss changed a lot, and while I sign your paycheck and have to give you orders, it’s not like that change in role made me care less. It’s not that easy.” 

You uncrossed your arms. “But,” you started, your tone softening, “you can’t both tell me what to do as my boss and tell me what to do as a friend. I’m not clocked in, Seokjin. And that’s why this is so fucking hard. Because my boss is the one who took me up a mountain after apologizing to me yesterday for his “gross misuse of power” when I’m the one who kissed you sitting on a fucking prep counter! And yeah, we were friends before you were my boss, and that means I learned to work with you and trust you as my coworker, and we shared interests so you can watch my streams and tell me about MapleStory. We have history and it’s not something we can deny. But you keep acting like I am not in control, like I am not an adult. 

“I would love it if we could stay on this mountain forever,” you added, taking the words Seokjin was thinking earlier and making them real, “because, maybe then we could just stay friends. I miss you as my friend! And I wouldn’t feel so…weird now trying to figure out which guy, Boss Seokjin or Friend Seokjin, is talking to me.” 

Seokjin was unsure what to say, just that he knew he’d fucked up yesterday not just with his behavior in the kitchen, but ultimately how he set boundaries with you. 

“I don’t know what to do about it, Y/N,” he said weakly, honestly. 

“Can I then offer a suggestion?” Your voice sounded frustrated, on the verge of yelling. He nodded. 

“On this mountain, right now. You are my friend. And any other time when we aren’t at work, we are friends. We are not the first two people who started a friendship and had a power dynamic at work. I don’t know what happened in your past that makes this so hard for you, and you don’t need to tell me. But whatever you said yesterday, it wasn’t true. I want you to trust me when I say you didn’t take advantage of me. Was it kind of stupid and inappropriate on both our parts? Sure. But I’m not this weak, breakable thing. You said so yourself with my boundary-setting for my stream that I just need confidence to assert myself and make sure I don’t get taken advantage of. So let me start with you. Help me start with you.” 

You leaned a little closer and Seokjin’s heart beat erratically. “I promise, Kim Seokjin, that whatever happened in the kitchen yesterday was consensual. At least on my end. And that I do hold you in regard as my boss during work hours most of the time. But I can’t fucking stand if you continue to uphold this standard when you talk to me as an authority and then immediately pull a hypocritical move and try to be my friend after. It’ll drive me crazy.”

Your voice was shaky now, like you were holding back tears. Seokjin fought the urge to pull you close to him, but god, how he wanted to. 

“What you do need,” he asked and you sighed. 

“Clear communication. On both sides. No more deciding for me. On anything. If I say no at work, it’s just as valid as saying no in private, even if it’s something you think is what’s best for me. Even if you don’t like it. Because you don’t know what really is or isn’t until I tell you.” He nodded in agreement. 

“I can do that. And I’m sorry again, for how confusing this must’ve been. I acted selfishly when I decided that my position as your boss overruled and negated any of our history. It was never going to be as clean as I wanted it to be,” he apologized. 

You managed a sad smile but nodded, a sign you accepted his apology. 

“Thank you. And also, I do want to continue doing the streams. I didn’t get to say that before. I do want to try after dark stuff. Because it feels like it could be fun, could help me stay involved but less personal if that makes sense. And…” You trailed off, humming to yourself as you tried to find the words for your final thought. 

“I really would like it if I could have your help in this. To help coach me in a way to maintain that boundary. You did have some really great points on execution. And I think maybe your experience in cam-leadership and management could help me both continue doing this but also finding what I want. And I need a friend for that. Not a boss or manager.” 

Seokjin’s eyes widened as he caught the last of what you were saying. 

“Wait,” he said, trying to put the pieces together. Were you asking what he thought you were asking? “So…you want me to help you run an adult-only, after dark gaming stream?” You laughed. 

“I need you to be my confidence coach,” you clarified. “Help me learn how to say no to my fanbase and keep myself calm throughout a stream so I don’t compromise. And like, I don’t know. We can iron out the details, the idea is so fresh to me, but I need you, my caring friend Seokjin, to make sure I don’t break the terms of service again and ban me from streaming.”

He blinked a few times, unsure how you’d arrived at the conclusion that he would be any good at this. 

But Seokjin knew he would be. He did this multiple times a week, and it’s how he knew you were heading toward trouble. What if he could help you learn how to protect yourself? Because you were right, you didn’t need anyone to save you. But you maybe needed someone to show you. And he could be that person. 

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll do it.”

As Seokjin pulls up to your apartment nearly an hour later, you feel a slight sadness that your night is over. On the way home, as the rain steadily poured and the city lights came back into a clear view, you’d felt a tug of worry in your gut that because you were back in the city, your agreement to stay friends wasn’t real, and that any moment Seokjin would be cold and formal, withdrawing his agreement to help you with streaming. 

You’d had the idea in the car in somewhat of an epiphany, sorting through the confusing dynamic you’d been shoved into. It made sense to you, now. Instead of trying to model yourself after the master, why not learn from the man himself? 

Despite your initial anxiety that he would back out, Seokjin if anything is all the more reassuring, gently nudging you with your peacoat in his hands to signal it is time to trade. You nod sleepily, shrugging it off your shoulders and trying to ignore the disappointment you have in no longer being enveloped in his warm scent. 

As you tuck your arms back through your sleeves, Seokjin gets out of his side of the car, the rain still beating harshly, but he appears even more determined to open your door for you, opening an umbrella to keep you and your coat from getting pounded on. 

You try to insist on sharing the umbrella, but Seokjin shakes his head, guiding you forward toward your apartment complex’s front door. 

“Thank you,” you say as you step under the lip of the roof with him, smiling up at Seokjin, who is already soaked. His black hair is piecey and dripping down his face, plastering a few disheveled pieces across his forehead. “God, you really should’ve used the umbrella too! You’re drenched!”

Seokjin laughs a hearty laugh, the squeaky, windshield wiper one that makes your chest burn. “Please, that coat you’re wearing is pathetic. I had said dress for the warmth and you picked one of the worst things you could find. Even a standard issue blazer has more weather resistance than that thing!” 

“Excuse you, but this coat most of the time is fine. And also, I thought you were just saying it as a formality! If I’d known we were heading into a literal mountain I would have changed my clothes!” You bicker back, your laughter filling the space between you two. 

“Yeah, well, now you know for next time,” he says, eyes flickering with something you almost categorize as lust. 

You beam. This time the idea of next time feels possible. If Seokjin and you can work on these weird work boundaries, there might be a hope something comes from this after all. Unless he’s gay, which you still can’t quite figure out, but you try not to think about that as he shakes his head like a big dog. 

“Okay, Sparky,” you joke and glance down at your phone. It’s very late now, and your body is quickly succumbing to the exhaustion of the day. “I’ll see you Monday?”

Seokjin’s shoulders sag, and he sighs, stepping back into the rain. “Yeah, I should probably let you go now. I’ll see you on Monday. And Y/N?”

His lips turn into a smug smirk as the rain soaks through his clothes. “Don’t forget that you promised me a crate of julienned carrots”.

©2024 by jooniperbonsai

#bts smut #seokjin smut #jin smut #kim seokjin #seokjin x reader #seokjin #bts fanfic #ksj #ksj x reader #ksj smut #ksj fic

[ashsostrange]

"averagegirlie" is just "xxoxobree", formerly known as "breeandhermunches" on a burner. newsflash, your "fav" miles writer isn't who you think she is!

ik a lot of us must be VERY confused so let me help you out. @/averagegirlie and @/xxoxobree are the same mfkn person! why did bree make this account? i assume that it's so she could fend for herself and keep the "unbothered" act up on her main page. that's why she deletes all her reblogs after arguing w someone then comes over to this account to start bsing. not to mention she can say extremely problematic things with no repercussions, because she doesn't have a following on that page + it's not tied to her.. at least it wasn't before! bree's a very messy liar. i peeped the truth so lemme share it w y'all.

bree if you're seeing this, go take a couple shots before you read. you should've kept it cute but you didn't, so let's get nasty mf.

i have receipts! let's start right here cz i find this the funniest:

nobody but her spells "internet" like that... this is one of the many examples of the two accounts talking alike, even though bree said she wouldn't refer to "yao" as a friend when the whole rashad thing was going down. yesterday, i reminded yao of that. she said "i like bree, so what" but she deleted that and changed it to "when are y'all gonna catch on to the fact that we talk?" mhm.. bree's a lil confused, but next!

y'all see "yao's" tag? telling alexa to play some bs... then y'all see bree?? NEXT!

go look on miss average's page. she only comes online to defend and ride the hell out of bree's dick. remember ts w amani? why are you going so hard for someone who says they dk you like that LMFAO. not to mention, when the rashad shit was happening, bree said "this my girl and she never been wrong" but then she turns around and says "i wouldn't say we're friends" WHICH ONE IS IT MISS MUNCH??! 😭🤣🤣 next!

why we praising tf out of bree's oc? ts was ai bro. we got a self supafan. next...

look at this smart anon, putting tg the pieces and shit. "ash and dalia fight your battles every time" is literally.. a lie. what battles are we referring to? talia's never in drama as much as you're implying. and ima ride for my friends anyway, tf? but my entire blog will never be centered around ONE human being. it ain't that serious ever. "yao" and bree need hobbies cz writing obv ain't doing it for her. next.

bree has also said she's messy lol. she likes drama. hm!

look at how she came on her white horse when bree was battling the great war w anons over miles morales smut (which i don't fw, js to be clear.) who summoned her? BREE LMFAIOFHDGFKJAS... NEXT!!!

here's miss xxoxo munches being ableist, much like her alter ego. bro went silent and blocked lia after this. now let's get into miss average again.

look at this bs. ion even gotta say much.. this girl is black & not chinese!! y'all should know why this is weird. here's the "evidence" she gave me btw:

here's me proving her wrong! she tried! next.

y'all see the way they're tagging their posts w their usernames? mhm.. ik you do.

HMMM....

these are both bree. i don't mean to bring up maye again, but i have to for context. what happened wasn't js "drama"... the things she said to dalia were racist + that post she was lyin' about lia in. she also liked the post.. dead giveaway you silly bitch! 🥱 nd she was also instigating in honey's inbox. i know her typing style and her emoji colors lol. it's common sense atp. it's not hard to tell when an anon is bree. and from what i'm seeing not even maye is fw her.. LMFAISAIDHSAY GIRL YOU'RE DONE! 😭 feel free to go thru their accs, you'll see ts too. she's funny asf for this, i'll give her that and that only. i've never laughed so much in under 24 hours. 💓

in conclusion, bree is messy, bored, insecure, ableist & miserable! she thought nobody would ever find out but here we are today. she fronts not gaf but then switches to this acc to let off some serious steam... as miss freeman once said: "Alexa, play yikes!"

but bless bree 💗 maybe if you change now, you'll still be able to collect your tokens like dalia says.

#ash spills 💋 #the downfall of her munches #fucked around and found out! #miles morales x reader #e42miles morales x reader #beware of the munch #breeisoverparty

[joekeeryswife]

Can I pretty please request a Joe Quinn story about him and girlfriend/reader ( maybe a famous model or actress) finding out that paparazzi filmed/ have photos of them in their house having sex and joe is being a Dom like spitting in her mouth/ rough sex / face pushed into the wall ? (Doesn’t have to be too much smut )

Maybe they find out in an interview or something along those lines ? Joseph is like idolised for it but the reader is losing work over it ?

I love your work btw so amazing 💕

Exposed - J.Q

hello love! i’m so sorry this has taken me ages to write! i’ve just honestly had such a shit past couple of months and i’m just starting to enjoy writing again. im so bad at writing smut so i’m so sorry this is bad and cringy and this has a lot of mistakes! anyways, enjoy <3

also lmk if you want a part two!!

you had just finished posing on the red carpet when your manager, Tom, pulled you off quickly after seeing a video circulating twitter, instagram and tiktok. you could hear the paparazzi as they shouted at you 'i didn't know that was what you were into' 'can you believe someone who acts so innocent in interviews and the runway be into all that kinky stuff' 'what an absolute slut, how can anyone be her fan after that' and you couldn't of been more confused. Tom looked at you with sympathy as he passed you his phone, showing you a video the paparazzi had taken of you and Joseph.

your heart has dropped to the floor and the only feeling you could feel was the sickness rising in your throat. you felt like time had stopped and there was nothing you could do. you hadn't even realised the two of you were being filmed when you were in your own home and if you did notice maybe you could of stopped it from happening. the video had been posted thirty minutes ago and was taken last night when Joseph had surprised you.

he had been in America for a few weeks, doing interviews whilst you were in Paris for Paris Fashion Week. when he arrived yesterday at your home in the UK it had been the first time you were both free from fans and the media and one thing led to another and now your sex life was everywhere. you hated how your privacy had been invaded like that, yes you were a little kinky but you did not want that all over the internet and here you were holding in your sobs as the video continued.

Joseph was on the red carpet after you and was doing some interviews, he was also getting shouts from the paparazzi but not the same as you. they shouted things like 'go on lad' 'jesus Joseph you're like a sex god. you really had her on her knees mate' and even he was confused. you could hear the screams from the paparazzi and were appalled at the difference between you and him. he seemed to be getting idolised whereas you were being slut shamed for it. Joseph was led to an interviewer who straight out told him about the video.

"so Joseph we have all seen the video of you and your girlfriend Y/n, how do you feel about that being exposed to the world and how do you feel about the different responses you and y/n are getting?" the interviewer, Sophie, asked as she watched Joseph frown. "what video?" he replied, anxiety filling his body. Sophie’s eyes widened when she realised Joseph had absolutely no idea about what was circulating on the internet. before she could speak up they both turned their heads to the fans and paparazzi who were still shouting out at Joseph.

“Joseph what’s it like to be with a slut like y/n? seeing her like it rough is crazy because she’s so different online. you did an amazing job though mate” someone shouted, making his heart drop. why were they speaking about you like that? his frown deepened as he heard the man slut shaming you. “i’m sorry, i- i thought you knew” Sophie said, a bright red blush covering her face as she realised she’d just told Joseph about the video. “i’m so confused though. what video are we speaking about here?” he replied, scratching the back of his neck.

“the video that was filmed by the paparazzi. it’s of you and y/n in your house uhh. doing things” she said, taking her phone out of her blazer pocket and went straight on twitter, getting the video up. Joseph took the phone and watched the video, disgusted that this was filmed and posted without both of your permission. the video showed you on your knees, Joseph’s hand in your hair, making a makeshift ponytail as he guided you along his shaft. his head was thrown back and your hands were on his legs, you could tell that you were completely naked.

the next clip showed you up against the wall with Joseph behind you, his hand around your neck, pulling your head back to look at him. he left kisses on your forehead and cheeks as he fucked you. the last clip was you and Joseph on the bed, his hand yet again around your neck, your head thrown back. he was appalled that someone had filmed this, they had violated you and had exposed your body to everyone. the video ended with the man who filmed it laughing and whispered a quite ‘this is gonna go so viral’ before shutting off. he scrolled down to see varied reactions from the fans, the comments were both kinda positive and negative.

quite a few of the fans were disgusted that this was posted online right before a big event. some comments were disgusted by your behaviour but were praising Joseph. a few read:

‘this is so disgusting, the fact that this has been posted and people are slut shaming y/n is so bad. i just feel so sad for her.’

‘the difference between ‘the boys’ talking about Joseph being ‘the man’ but y/n being a slut just shows the difference between how women and men are viewed in society. poor y/n’

‘ew the fact that Joseph is with a whore like her is disgusting. he needs to get away from her’

‘wheyyyy Joseph is one of the lads’

‘y/n just looks fucking weird. why does someone as ‘innocent’ as her get kinky like that. i knew something is off about her’

Joseph felt sorry for you. he hated how much hate you were getting from the media and he could do nothing about it. you were looking through the comments as well, feeling so upset at what people were calling you. you thought you were safe in your own home but no, the media had been able to creep into your personal life and exposed it to the world. you passed the phone back to Tom and asked him to call you a taxi. you didn’t want to be in front of the cameras and fans. he called you a cab and took you into a back room which was thankfully at the event. Tom comforted you as you cried on his shoulder, the embarrassment finally taking over your body as you realised what this meant for you.

for years you had worked hard for your modelling career to grow, just like you had always dreamed of since you were a little girl and when you finally get to a place where you think this is the perfect time to grow even more this comes out. you knew that now everyone was gonna view both you and Joseph differently and both in completely different ways. Joseph was going to be praised and idolised for months, whereas you were gonna be slut shamed and lose work over it.

Joseph gave back the phone to the interviewer and got off of the red carpet, hoping to look for you so he could comfort you. he saw Tori, his manager, and ran up to her and whisper yelled “Tori, have you seen y/n? this videos come out and-” “i’ve seen Joseph. this is not good. y/n is getting so much hate and i feel so bad for her. she’s with Tom in the back, she looked so upset. i think he called her a taxi so she could go home” she cut him off, her face full of hurt and sympathy. he thanked her and nodded, leaving her so he could go find you. he walked down a hallway and could hear your sobs from a mile off.

he opened the door and saw you with your makeup smudged and hot tears rolling down your face as you tried to get words out. “y/n, sweetheart” he said, making your focus shift off of Tom and into Joseph who briskly walked to you. he wrapped his arms around you and let you sob into his chest. Tom left the room, giving the two of you some privacy which was the least he could do after this happened. “it’ll be okay love” Joseph said, kissing your forehead as he softly stroke the back of your neck. “how is this gonna be okay Joseph? i’m being slut shamed and i’m ruined. the paparazzi are ruthless and so are some of the fans.”

Joseph sighed, realising you were right. the fans and paparazzi were ruthless and there was nothing you could do. “i know. wrong choice of words i’m sorry” he said, kissing your cheek. you were both silent for a while before there was a knock at the door, pulling you out of your thoughts. “Taxis here miss y/n. it’s out the back waiting for you” Tom said as you pulled away from Joseph. “you coming?” you asked Joseph just wanting to get away from everyone and hide from the world.

he nodded, taking ahold of your hand as you walked out of the door and followed Tom to the back of the event where the taxi was luckily still there. you got in the back, the paparazzi seeing the two of you leaving and that’s when they started up again. the shouts got worse and worse as you made your way to the taxi and they were still shouting as the taxi driver started driving off. you were so humiliated. the whole taxi ride you were silent, looking down at your hands to avoid Joseph’s gaze.

“i know you may not wanna hear this now but it’ll go down. the media doesn’t hang onto one thing for long and before we know it it’ll calm down”. all Joseph was trying to do was cheer you up a bit after something so horrible was released without consent. your head lifted up as he spoke and looked into his eyes. as you drive past the street lights. Joseph could see the tears in your eyes as your lip quivered as you spoke. “i honestly now think-” you had to take a deep breath as your lip and chin quivered more “think that i’m gonna lose so much work from this”

Joseph’s heart broke hearing you say that because he knew it was true. the difference between men and women in the public eye and how the media treated them was unfair. if a man was being praised for what he did to a woman then a woman should be praised for what she did to a man, not slut shamed for it. you arrived home and quickly walked in, not waiting to be seen by anyone. you sat down on the sofa, your phone buzzing constantly with spam calls from your mum and friends. a few messages from Tom caught your eye. they read ‘i know this isn’t something you want to hear right now but Prada have emailed and said they’re sorry but they’re dropping you from the catwalk next week and so are Versace. i really think you should write a tweet and copy and paste it to instagram and just keep away from your phone and the outside for a few days x’

you couldn’t believe it. first you’re being slut shamed by the media and now you were losing runway work. you ignored the message, to hurt to even respond but went back to the video to see if any other nice comments had come about. Joseph walked in after paying the taxi driver to see you staring blankly at your phone. there were over 36 million views with 1 million comments on twitter and it was trending number 1. great. the comments were more varied now with a few celebrities chiming in agreeing that the paparazzi invaded personal privacy and it was disgusting and that you should take whoever sent out the video to court.

Joseph sat down next to you and took the phone out of your hands, knowing this was affecting you a lot more than it was affecting him. he pulled you into his arms as you quietly sobbed. this would be your first time walking for Prada and it was taken away in a matter of minutes because of a stupid video that came out. “i think maybe we should write something on twitter to get it out of the way sweetheart, what do you think?” he said, stroking your hair softly as he tried to calm you down. once he felt you nod he gave back your phone to allow you tot type out whatever you wanted.

the tweet read ‘obviously this video has come out without mine and Joseph’s permission and i am truly embarrassed that this has been shared out to the public. i have never in my life felt so humiliated by something and seeing a lot of negative comments has honestly made me realise that there are a lot of fake fans out there who won’t have my back. also seeing the difference between comments about Joseph and comments about me are shocking. we are both there so we should be treated the same, i shouldn’t be slut shamed for enjoying a relationship with my partner. if Joseph is being idolised then why can’t i? we are both doing the exact same activity. slut shaming me for this is rude and disrespectful. however i’ve also realised who my true fans are, seeing the supportive comments has made me feel a little better and i can’t thank you all enough for supporting me in this. this will 100% be taken care of and whoever posted that video will be taken to court. the video was filmed and posted without either of our knowledge and i am disgusted that someone can change someone’s life in a matter of seconds. i feel violated that my body has been exposed completely and i’m embarrassed that you have all had to see this video and i’m truly sorry. i am going to be off of social media for a while and i hope you all understand, thank you’

Joseph read over the post and nodded, approving that that was the perfect thing to post. once posted he pulled you back into his arms and sighed. “i promise you this will be taken care of” he said, kissing your forehead. you nodded your head, too tired from all the crying to even speak. you knew that if this was anyone else it would be a completely different scenario so being with Joseph here was perfect and you couldn’t be happier that he was still here supporting you after this. you knew that if this didn’t break you then nothing would, Joseph was your soulmate and anyone from the outside could see that you were both so in love with each other.

#fanfiction #imagines #joseph quinn character #joseph quinn fluff #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn x fem!reader #joseph quinn imagines #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn smut #joseph x reader #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson angst #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson

[bl00dst41ned]

*.·:·.✦ lost and found ✦.·:·.*

pairing: jude bellingham x female oc (named Ryan)

summary: in which Jude makes an awesome discovery

author's note: watched Paddington yesterday and it inspired me this. Jude lives in my mind rent free yet, I'm never writing him.

word count: 1085

The night felt refreshing in the streets of Madrid. Spain was known for its suffocating temperature. To get some air, you had to wait until after sunset. Which is what Jude and his girlfriend, Ryan decided to do. They wandered, hand in hand, observing their new place of residence.

“We should try that” Ryan pointed to the small restaurant selling empanadas.

They entered with no hesitation, greeted in Spanish by the worker. Once they debated on which one to choose, Ryan ordered, in broken Spanish, two different flavours for them to try. The two sat on a bench nearby, to enjoy their little snack, engaging in a small conversation about the new life they were beginning.

Following Jude’s signing to Real Madrid, he asked his longtime partner if she was willing to live with him. Ryan and he had been together since they were 15. She supported him through every big step in his career. Except, for this new one, Jude wanted her to physically be with him every day. Three months later, Ryan had packed her bags to join him.

The couple were now picking up new habits and trying to accustom to the Madrid life.

“So….How’s your Duolingo lessons going?”

Ryan basically forced Jude to learn basic Spanish. For now, he relied on her for every social interaction even though she was not fluent. And she could tell he was comfortable like that and didn’t want it to change.

“Alright I guess” Jude shrugged, rubbing his right eye, something he always did when he was lying to her. Which she knew, too well.

“Jude” Ryan sighed, Jude instantly chuckling, knowing she had caught him. “This green owl has been asking me where you at for the past week”

Somehow Jude had forgotten that the app was on her iPad and connected to her email.

He tried as hard as he could to contain his laugh but failed miserably.

“Don’t laugh” She playfully hit his shoulder, smiling. “You hurt her so much, she stopped texting me”

He stopped and laughed pulling his head down.

“Yeah I went too far, I’ll do it tomorrow”

Once they finished eating, they got up and continued walking. As Ryan observed the architecture around, Jude had come to a halt. She felt her arm being pulled and looked back in confusion.

“What are y- Shhhhh” Jude shushed her with his index finger.

He seemed to be trying to hear something so Ryan just did the same. He let go of her hand now walking towards the sound. He looked behind a flower pot finding what he looked for. He crouched down, Ryan’s curiosity rising. She came behind him checking what had his attention.

There lay a tiny kitten, letting out small meows anybody could barely hear. He seemed to be born recently since his eyes were closed. Jude took him in his hand, slowly petting him.

“Can we bring it home?”

“Jude, he surely has a mother somewhere”

“But…look at him” He looked at her with a pout showing her the kitten on his palm.

“We need to make sure he doesn’t have an owner”

Ryan tried to be rational despite wanting it as much as he did. Obviously, she didn’t want to leave him to die there. They looked around the area, looking for his mother or other kittens somewhere, before being interrupted by a voice.

“El dueño se alejó y los dejó’ An elder woman spoke lowly in Spanish, trying to mimic what she meant, hearing them speak English. “Este debe haber escapado”

With the few words she understood, Ryan figured this kitten had been abandoned. She let Jude know what she said, making him smile since he got to take it home.

They walked back to their home, Jude covering the kitten with both hands, checking on him every now and then. Ryan, on the other side, searched the internet for what they should do to take care of it.

They arrived back home and instantly went to keep the kitten warm. They grabbed a shoe box putting an old shirt inside it. Jude, who had not put down the small animal any time, carefully dropped him off.

Jude took the responsibility to feed him. He poured a bit of water on a spoon carefully as the kitten drank as well as he could. It seemed like Ryan and Jude were mesmerized by it. Their eyes were glued on it, not wanting to miss any moment.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Ryan asked, tired of calling him an “it”.

“Don’t know, we should go to the vet, tomorrow”

There was no doubt about keeping the kitten or not. Jude picked a cloth using it as a blanket for their new pet. 

“You good, Nugget ?” He cooed to the kitten, calling it the first word that came to mind.

That reminded Ryan how Jude would automatically call animals ‘chicken’ or ‘nugget’ just because. He always gave names to beings when he didn’t know theirs. It felt like he didn’t want to offend them even though they did not understand him one bit.

Both of them catered to the tiny animal for an hour, never taking their eyes off it. Once they decided to go to sleep, Jude placed the shoe box between the cushions, a water bottle and a spoon on his nightstand. Ryan came to the room looking at the homemade pet bed.

“Really Jude?” She straight-faced him as he gave an innocent smile. “We don’t need to be glued to it,”

“But we can”

He ignored her pulling the covers over his body and glancing at the box. She decided to just give up and get in the bed too, admiring her boyfriend. Within two hours, Jude had grown so much love for this little being, already obsessed with it.

“Good night, cutie” He spoke in a sleepy voice, his eyes already closed.

“Goodnight, babe” Ryan replied.

“I was talking to Nugget, but goodnight too, love”

Ryan’s mouth fell open for a few until she decided to accept her fate: Nugget had stolen her boyfriend. She could forget about these Duolingo lessons.

like, repost and suggest if you want (requests are closing tomorrow) (hope you enjoyed it)

masterlist for more

#written by bl00dst41ned #black writer #jude bellingham #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham fic #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham x oc #football blurb #football fic #football fluff #football imagine

[ofallthingsnasty]

there is an absolute drought of dark Smoker content so can I request a ticket with him for a Long Night of Museums?? Pretty please with a cherry on top 🙏♥️

💕💕💕 you're so right... Smoker, my love... Instead of taking some souvenirs home with you, you end up as one with that man 🤭

🎂nasty's 2024 birthday event 🎂

Your order:

1 x ticket to The Long Night of Museums with Smoker! (Adult only, exhibition might contain content such as stalking and kidnapping, proceed at your own risk.

Smoker is the type of man you only meet because his usual bar is directly next to your cheap little hotel - blue with smoke, wooden interior, two games of darts and the TV always tuned into some type of sports game and him sitting right by the barkeep, nipping at his beer for two whole hours. You only stumble in on your first night because you really, really want a beer after a long, exhausting day of traveling. And instead of paying for that overpriced crap they offer in the hotel lobby that you’d have to down all on your own in your hotel room, you’d rather spend an hour with total strangers who smoke one cigarette for every word they speak. It’s convenient, the neon sign hanging by the door tells you it’s cheap and not too packed - and that’s all you need right now. What you don’t expect is two meters of bulk and cigars waiting right by the bar, tacky Hawaiian shirt inappropriately open for the spring weather. He’s intimidating, blocking your path to a cheap stout - but you’re grown and in a strange city. You figure you’ll never see him again anyway, so you swallow that little tickle of nervousness and order a pint of whatever they have on tab. And, despite your flighty stomach, you stay right by the bar - booths are for multiple people, not for out-of-towners who can’t handle the places they wander into. It goes pretty well, all things considered. Aside from an initial greeting, he doesn’t even look your way, too busy grumbling into his own pint and watching whatever match is on up on the ancient screen. It’s bearable enough that you come back the next day - a long, surprisingly hot day of sightseeing and dragging your feet through pedestrian areas has you thirsty for another beer and you’re yet again too tired to wander any further than your hotel room. The comfort of being able to simply fall into your bed after getting a little bit of a buzz going trumps the pull of flashy bars and expensive cocktails. So you poke your head through the door of the dingy little pub again and, like he’s part of the inventory, two-cigars-hawaiian-shirt guy already sits pretty by the counter, in that very same spot as yesterday. You greet him with a little too much enthusiasm but get nothing more than a mumbled answer back. 

The next day, you feel strangely watched on your trek through the city. It’s pretty obvious that you’re a tourist (the puzzled looks to your maps app might be a dead giveaway), still, there are dozens, if not hundreds of you at any given little park or museum or statue. It’s not like the locals aren’t used to people traipsing through the city center looking at everything as if they’re seeing color for the first time, no, the city is on every damn ‘top 10 must see’ lists that have been plaguing the internet for decades - but you simply can’t shake it. No matter how long you spend pouring over paintings at a gallery, no matter how slowly you take your lunch in an eclectic little bakery, it never stops. You all but flee to that shabby little bar in the evening, looking to seek cover among the many eyes of strangers once again. A little buzz and handful of potential witnesses (should anything unsavory happen) sound safer than staring at the flimsy lock on your hotel room’s door until you collapse from exhaustion. Or maybe you just want to shake off that nasty feeling of being followed with one too many beers right now - you can’t really decide. That night, two-cigars-hawaiian-shirt guy doesn’t sit by the bar when you enter. He comes in, almost dawdling, half an hour after you. You’re already halfway through your first pint and have no intention of stopping at just one when he sits himself down with so much heft right beside you, it actually makes you sputter. It almost feels like your stool shakes when he plops down and orders his own drink, absentmindedly biting his cigars. It takes you just another pint to actually talk to him. And a third one to realize that he’s stupid hot. Sure, you registered his sheer size two nights ago already, but he’s actually ruggedly handsome: well-groomed and tastefully gray in a rough way that reminds you of some sort of 80s action movie character. He doesn’t talk much. It doesn’t bother you in your slightly inebriated state; every question is met with only a short, almost bitten out answer but it’s all made up by the way his voice seems to crawl right underneath your skin, deep and gruff but irresistible and somewhat smooth. You joke and laugh and sway around enough for the two of you, feeling weirdly safe with this total stranger. Smoker, that’s his nickname, and you think it’s oh-so-fitting and funny in your haze. He seems to have taken a liking to you, too - because even though he grumbles all the way through it, he even tolerates a game of darts that you spectacularly lose. It’s a wonderful evening, you think, and it’s nice to properly socialize after two days of looking at dusty museums and flashy sights, and even better today, after you’ve been uneasy every waking minute. You’re happy and drunk and even gutsy enough to feel up the abs of that handsome stranger who supports your shaky legs to guide you to the hotel room, trying to get the most out of this little chance meeting.

At least until you wake up in an unfamiliar place the next morning, the wonderful, airy feeling of a fun night out replaced by sheer and utter dread. You can barely register that your hands and feet are tied together, that it’s not the alcohol making you feel nauseous but rather the position you seem to have spent the last couple hours in- because just a second later, Smoker’s face is all you see. 

That gravely voice you found so charming yesterday suddenly makes your stomach bubble in raw fear as he tells you to stop fighting and that you’re better off with him, anyway - seeing as you’re way too weak on your own and he's been looking for a little spouse, anyway. And you'll do. 

#birthday event 2024 #/smoker #/one piece #yandere one piece #smoker x reader #one piece x reader #tw.kidnapping #tw.alcohol

[katieaki]

My ✨ post-apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman choose-your-own adventure✨ has just updated! Read it here for free on my Patreon and vote in the poll! There is a summary of the first part, here, and the second part, here. They have everything you need to know about Lou, her requited-but-complicated love, the religious assassin who just beat the tar out of her, the worst person she's ever met, and the ill-advised journey she is on! There is also now a discord where Pony Express readers from all across god's green internet can gather, here!

Happy trails, pard! Don't leave us with a bit of devastating and upsetting information before we take off on our journey through the unknown wilderness together!

Read it for free on my patreon! (Long) Excerpt below the cut.

“So, what, mommy issues? Daddy issues?” Artie asked as she lifted Lou’s hair up to tie the new sling for her.

“Excuse me?” Lou said. She craned her neck to look up at her, but the pain in her shoulder made her look back down at the ground.

“Sorry— just, what you said to Holliday yesterday,” Artie said. She tied a knot and smoothed Lou’s collar over it. “About parents.”

Lou rubbed her face with her good hand. “Oh, yeah. I didn’t mean to loop both of y’all into that,” she said. “It’s not real polite to assume people’s family situations.”

Skylark looked up from where she was consolidating two half-used jars of flour. There was a spray of white powder across her cheek. “Oh, no, you’re right. No mother but the Listening Lady, no father but Their Honor,” she said. “I was taken into a church orphanage and basically never left.”

“A dyed in the wool church girl,” Artie said with deep affection. She wiped the flour from Skylark’s face with a handkerchief and crouched down to start packing up her sewing kit. “I killed my mom.”

She was so casual about it that it took Lou a second to catch up. She looked up to meet Skylark’s eye. There was just a half second too much silence and Artie looked questioningly up at them.

“I’m so sorry, cousin,” Skylark said. “That must have been a difficult situation.”

Artie shrugged as she rolled the excess thread around a scrap of cardboard. “Nah. It’s fine. I got new parents. And my new dad killed my old dad,” she said.

There was another long silence. Lou wished she had two good hands so she could more easily occupy herself out of discomfort. 

“No— sorry, it’s a good thing. She’s knife church, too. My dad. My new dad. It’s a saga. I’m not trying to get into it,” Artie said. “All I was trying to say was… um. Same.” She gestured between her and Lou.

“Oh, no, it wasn’t like that, at all,” Lou said. She shouldn’t have even brought it up yesterday. Lots of people had actually bad childhoods. Hers was fine. Normal, even, when you think about it. It was embarrassing that it had been on her mind so much lately. She’d gone so long hardly thinking about it at all. “I just had a basic, average bad childhood. Less attention than I wanted, less food than we needed, that kind of thing. You know. I never had to stab my mom or anything.”

“No, I didn’t stab her,” Artie said. “I used my teeth.”

Lou’s mouth went dry. Artie had almost bitten her face when they were fighting that first night. She could have easily ripped Lou’s throat out when she had her pinned down to the ground. Lou wasn’t sure why that was so much more disturbing than when she only thought she was in real danger of being killed by a knife. It didn’t change how dead you were. A chill ran down Lou’s neck where Artie had just touched her to fix her sling. She had been right to be afraid of those teeth. 

“Artie,” Skylark said. She looked at Artie with a silent plea for her to stop talking that was so clear, even Lou could read it. Artie did not seem to register it for what it meant.

“Well, I didn’t have a knife! I was only like, seven years old!” she said.

#Wasteland Pony Express #katieakipresentsthewasteland #original fiction #original content #oc #Lou #Louetta Primrose #lesbian fiction #interactive fiction #choose your own adventure #queer western #western romance #lgbtq fiction #choose your own path #cyoa #Artie #Reckoning Tehachapi #Holliday #Holliday Bell #Skylark #Skylark Wagoner #wasteland writing #Wasteland Pony Express Update

[sassylegshayne]

support your local caffeine dealer: chapter 3

okay, okay I really feel like this is where the story starts to pick up, I hope y'all like it 💗 message me any thoughts about it!! this one is finally 2k words long!!

series masterlist🫶

texts will be bold and italicized like this

Shayne kept his word, even taking a different route home as to avoid passing by the shop. He almost couldn't bring himself to do it, but let's not dwel on that too much. He caught himself setting his alarms a bit earlier, hopefully giving himself the time to see you.

He's got a smile on his face as the familiar bell rings above his head at the start of the next morning, his eyes already searching for you behind the counte.

"Hey, getting the usual?"

He felt bad that he wasn't indulging in the lives of the employees, as he usually does, not wanting to put forth the effort for his small friendships today.

The man nods, relatively quiet as he pays and waits.

A small laugh from behind him catches his attention, turning to glance over his shoulder. You sat a few tables away, tugging your headphones off as you grin at him. Bite the bullet, you thought to yourself, you should enjoy these small moments with your favorite, pretty stranger.

"Come here often?" You chirp, chuckling as Shayne grabs his drink, shaking his head. You nod, motioning him over to you. You couldn't help but take in his outfit, his dark green shirt looks soft, fitting him well. Very well. As did his blue jeans, the small rips showing peeks of skin from beneath.

Shayne checks his watch, noting he could probably make it to work on time, he should take a few minutes to talk with you. He feels his heart racing in the best way possible, his palms begin to sweat again. The ability you held, making him more nervous than he thought anyone could, was something he hoped would never change.

"Ya know, I came here yesterday and the service was terrible, I don't know why I came back." Shayne chuckles, sipping his drink as he seats himself in the chair across from you, eyeing you over the edge of his cup.

You scoff, placing a hand to your chest as you shake your head softly.

"What a shame, you should talk to the manager about it," you shrug, leaning your arms onto the table.

"Not to pry into your life or anything but, what do you do for a living, Shayne? You seem to have quite a bit of free time to spend here."

Shayne nods, chuckling, it's only fair to share that information, obviously he knows where you work. Maybe this could be fun, sharing small parts of your lives with each other. This felt safe to him, this felt like a budding friendship, and he should allow it to happen.

"I'm an actor," he answers, waiting for any sort of eye roll or comment he's used to, but all he gets is an expectant look, you were encouraging him to continue. You wanted to hear mnore.

He allows himself to indulge, explaining that Damien works with him too, the both acting and staring as personalities on the internet. You thought it was cute, but didnt quite grasp the scale of how large their company was, and Shayne enjoyed that.

Itd been quite sometime since he'd met anyone who didn't have the same job as him, or didn't know him for his career. The two of you continued on for a while, lost in the small talk of getting to know each other. Small questions, where you were from, what brought you here; Shayne felt much more comfortable than he expected to when he satwith you.

He managed to speak to you, have a full conversation, he was proud of himself. And you were proud of yourself; you shared little, yes, but this was a beginning, this was a start for you two. Less strangers now, and that's what you wanted.

Shayne trailed off as his phone buzzes repeatedly, drawing his attention to the time. Forty-five minutes past the call time.

"Fuck.." The man muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair and chuckling. "I'm sorry, I.. I really enjoyed this, Y/N, but am pretty late for a shoot.."

You looked to him with wide eyes, shaking your head.

"I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to keep you here, butI had fun, this was nice." You offer, smiling brightly as he stands.

You chew your lip, grabbing a pen before taking his hand, quickly sprawling your number across his palm before you had the time to second-guess yourself.

"Text me or call me, if you want to." Your heart was pounding, a blush evident on your cheeks. What did you have to lose? If he texts you, that's great, if not, then you will continue on like it never even happened. Just two strangers whơve talked a time or two, nothing more.

Shayne looked from his hand, admiring your name scribbled beneath your number, back to you with a bright grin. He felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. You liked this, you enjoyed this enough to want to continue it. You wanted to text, to call, to give him more of your time, more of yourself.

"I will, I promise. I-I hope you have a good day, and, hey, maybe I'll see you tomorrow." He punctuates with a wink, spurring a small giggle from you, pink tinging your cheeks once more.

"Maybe I'll see you tomorrow, Shayne."

The man quickly exits the shop, stealing a look over his shoulder to find you meeting his eyes already, both of your faces plastered with small, shy smiles.

He makes quick work of texting lan that he'd overslept, he'd make it in a few minutes. He pocketed his phone as he entered the building, after adding you to his contacts.

"y/n☕" his screen read as he looked to the empty text thread.

His mind races with what to say, nothing seeming quite good enough, so he settles for sipping his drink. He'll figure it out later.

As he enters the set, his eyes meet Damien's, a smirk on his friends lips. Shayne shoots the man a confused look as he settles into his seat beside him.

"Late because you overslept but you still took the time to get coffee, hm."

Damien teased, prompting Shayne to tuck his drink beside his chair, under the table. He shrugged, wringing his hands together a bit nervously.

"I was already late, a few minutes wasn't gonna make it much worse."

Damien's eyes dart to Shayne's hand, his mouth agape as he breathlessly chuckles.

"ls that a phone number?"

Shayne shifts in his seat, hoping Damien hadn't caught your name inked into his skin as well. "Yeah, need to call about a casting for something, didn't wanna forget the number."

His chest burned as he spoke. He knew he didn't have to lie, he could've told his best friend the truth, and he wouldn't keep lying forever. He just wanted this to be his for now; wanted you to be his.

He knew his friends would love you, he knew you'd fit in, but for now, he was allowed to be selfish; keeping you to himself. You were special, he didn't want to rush anything. Shayne wanted you to be his, to share your light with his friends. But for now, you'd remain in his mind constantly.

You didn't want to admit it to yourself, but you were definitely waiting for a text from Shayne.

He's at work, he's probably just busy, he's probably with his friends, probably.. at lunch.

It sucked that you couldn't help your anxiety from putting you on edge, your mind running with every terrible possibility to explain why you hadn't heard from him.

As if Shayne knew, he finally got a free minute in his busy shooting schedule.

"hi"

He was already beating himself up, don't worry. He'd spent all this time dwelling on what he should say; maybe something funny, something flirty. But no, he settled for a simple hello.

"it took you that long to type two letters? very underwhelming"

Fuck, why would she say that? What has possessed her to immediately message him so rudely.

"Imfao, okay, that's fair. should start over? we can act like that never even happened"

He audibly chuckled, a bit surprised that she was so quick to poke fun at him. He liked a little bit of push and pull like that, the ability to bounce off of someone else.

"no, no, I'll take it, just try better next time"

She unknowingly brought another smile to his face.

"I gotta run back to a shoot, but talk to you later"

"maybe"

She was a bit giddy seeing him give her back a bit of the attitude she was giving him.

"ttyl maybe x"

His heart fluttered just a smidge when he reads the x. A hug? Cute.

Was he seriously overthinking a single letter in a text message from his favorite barista? He never thought he'd have a favorite barista, but here he stood, grinning at his phone.

Damien coughed a bit as he slid on to the couch beside his friend.

"You ready to tell me about it yet?"

Shayne mulled over his options yet again, still not certain what he should say, if anything at all.

"Well, I got her number this morning."

The brunette broke into a grin, eyebrows raised. Damien wouldn't have thought that he'd get that far, at least not yet. Shayne had been single for quite a bit now, unless you count a few unsuccessful dates. He'd seen Shayne do some shameless flirting with a stranger before, but something about this time felt different.

Damien nudges his shoulder into his friend's, nodding his head.

"I'm proud of you."

"She gave it to me."

This made him shrug,

"You still got it, you put forth the effort for it, didn't you?"

Shayne shrugged back, unsure of what exactly convinced you to give him your number, but he must've done something right.

Damien nodded, knowing exactly how Shayne's mind works, pretty much spot on for guessing his friends thoughts.

As you finish up your shift, your phone buzzes oftly in your pocket.

"no espresso now I'm depresso"

You coughed, caught off guard by the message, a bit of laughter spilling from you.

"that was terrible, I'm sorry about your lack of caffeine, but that was very, very bad"

She chewed her lip again, humming in thought before deciding she liked these small changes to see him much more than she thought she did.

"i can bring you some coffee if you want? can grab it before my shift ends"

Is he having a heart attack? Heart palpitations? All of the above? He tried to calm his breaths, his mind racing before he quickly moved through the office, heading straight for the games room.

He burst in as quietly as he could before heading toward Damien, who sat with headphones on, humming softly as he loaded into a game.

Shayne set his phone on the desk, the text thread lighting up his screen, allowing Damien to read over them.

As soon as the last message was read, Damien took off his headphones, spinning spinning his seat to face Shayne.

"Say yes, this is another opportunity to see her, and she'll learn some more about you." Damien encouraged, Shayne nodding his head softly.

Shayne didn't think he could speak, he might throw up. Why was he so nervous? She's just bringing coffee to his office, that's a very normal, very friendly thing to do.

"i'd love that, actually, but you don't have to, I can survive"

Shayne sat at his desk, his leg shaking in anticipation of a response.

"😇 send me the address, be there asap to help cure your depresso"

#AHHHHHHGGGGHHGSHAGAGGWWJHEHWJWJEHEJSHWHW #THIS CHAPTER OH NY GOODGSGGSGWGGAA #im in love w my own fic that's all i need tbh #anyways #tag time ig #smosh #mine #shayne topp #smosh au #damien haas #smosh games #damien haas imagine #shayne #shayne topp imagine #sylcd #shayne topp au #shayne topp x reader #shayne topp smut #Damien haas au #damien haas x reader