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meguvmii · 5 months

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I still want you.

Chapter 7

⤿ Satoru Gojo × reader

Falling in love with the Satoru Gojou wasn’t an easy task. You truly love him but will this come to an end?

Warning/ tags; angst, profanity, smoking, cursing, smut, cheating.

Genre; angst, cheating, infidelity, jik, Gojou × reader

Notes: the tag-list is open if you'd like to be mentioned everytime i update just send me a message on the box. Also super sorry for not updating but im back!

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"Sumire!" Yelling with happiness you ran towards your kid. Seeing Sumire in your mothers arm sleeping soundly you couldn't help but feel delightful to see your son.

It felt like it was ages but finally seeing him in the airport running towards you, your heart felt full. You had been away from home for too long, and you felt a deep connection to Sumire. As you got closer, your heart was filled with joy and love for your son. You couldn't help but smile as you looked upon his peaceful face, and you knew that your family was finally reunited. You embraced your mother and Sumire, and you were grateful for the moment. You smiled and looked at your son, Sumire; his hair had grown so much since the last time you saw him. You noticed it was starting to turn white, just like his father's.

"Mommy!" Sumire hugged you tightly, his small chubby hands gripping your chest. Sumire missed you so much, and sometimes he would cry to your mother about how much he missed you and his father, Satoru. It was obvious that Sumire was a mama's boy.

Despite the sadness of the events that had occurred, your heart was warmed by the thought of your son. His presence in your life was a reminder that even in the darkest of times, there could still be moments of joy and peace. He was the one who had the power to make your pain disappear.

"How was grandma's house?" Kissing his forehead you caressed Sumire's white hair. Toji saw your mother struggling to get her luggage into the car and immediately offered to help.

He took one of the bags and loaded it into the trunk, then grabbed the other one and did the same. His kind gesture made your mother smile and she thanked him for his help. Satoru was too busy consoling Jiyuu the whole entire day that he had forgot that Sumire was coming today. You knew that having sex with Satoru was a mistake but you were so caught up in the moment you forgot how much you despised him. You had always known that Satoru was a snake but you had allowed yourself to be charmed by his smooth words and seductive looks. You had thought that maybe this time would be different, but it wasn't. You should have trusted your instincts and stayed away from him. Sumire's own father didn't even come but Toji came.

"Good! Grandma helped me learn how to write" your little 5 year old said. You could tell Sumire was growing up by the minute. You couldn't bare seeing your baby boy grow up.

You smiled and ruffled his hair, feeling a mixture of pride and sadness. You were proud of him, but you couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness that he was growing up so quickly. You looked at your mother, thanking her silently for her help in teaching Sumire how to write. "I know how to spell my name now mama!" Hugging him tightly you felt proud. His face beamed with excitement as he proudly recited each letter of his name. You gave him a big hug and praised him for his accomplishment. Tears of joy filled your eyes as you realized your little one had just taken the first steps towards independence.

"That's good honey, go inside the car okay? I need to talk to your grandma for a bit." Putting him down Toji held the tiny 5 year old hand. Taking him to the car you were left alone with your mother.

You both stood there in silence for a few moments, not knowing what to say. You glanced at her, noticing the wrinkles that had formed around her eyes. She smiled at you, her eyes twinkling with love and compassion, and opened her arms.

You stepped into the embrace, feeling the warmth of her love wash over you. Tears started streaming down your face as you both hugged tightly. "Mom... me and Satoru. We're getting a divorce." Hearing those words your moms eyes widened.

She looked at her daughter in disbelief, her eyes widening as the realization hit her. She had suspected something was wrong for some time, but had been hoping it wasn't true. She had never expected to hear those words from her daughter's lips. Her body seemed to tense up as she slowly processed the news. She stared into your eyes searching for an explanation, her face filled with a mixture of shock and disbelief.

After a few moments of silence, she finally spoke. "What happened?" she asked in a soft voice, trembling slightly. Shaking your head you buried your face on your moms shoulder.

Placing a hand in the back of your head you cried. Not wanting to tell your mother Satoru had cheated because you knew your mother would lash out at him. You wanted to protect him, even though he had done wrong. You knew he was struggling and it was hard for him to stay away from the bad crowd. You wished there was something you could do to help him, but you knew it was out of your control.

"We agreed it was best for us to go our separate ways." Not wanting to go into further details with your mother she knew it wasn't her place to pry anymore. Nodding she just held you.

You knew your mother would be so angry with Satoru and you didn't want that for him. Knowing how much respect he held for your mother for being a strong women you couldn't believe he could actually cheat on you. Seeing how devastated your mother was when your father cheated and he still decided to cheat on you. You wanted to protect Satoru from the wrath of your mother's anger and disappointment. You knew that she would feel betrayed by someone she trusted and admired, and you couldn't stand the thought of him facing the same consequences that your father had faced. You also couldn't believe that Satoru, with all of the respect he had for your mother's strength and resilience, could make such an irresponsible decision.

"Here let's go to the car, we can talk more when we get to the hotel okay?" Letting out a sigh your mother wiped your tears, seeing your doleful expression she knew there was more to the divorce.

Getting inside the car you could see Toji's frustrated face. Seeing Sumire argue with Megumi because he accidentally called you mommy. "No she's my mommy." Furrowing his eyebrow the small 5 year old feud with the toddler. Toji rolled his eyes propping his son to his lap. Scolding him for calling you mommy in front of Sumire even though Megumi wasn't your child.

He sighed heavily, rubbing his temples as he tried to reason with Megumi and Sumire. He glanced over at you, his expression apologetic. "I'm sorry, I know it's not your responsibility to have to deal with this." He said, shaking his head slightly before turning his attention back to the two children.

Sumire pouted his lips crossing his arms, "I don't care, she's my mommy!" Toji sighed heavily, trying to explain to Sumire that Megumi had made an honest mistake.

"Megumi didn't mean to call her mommy. He was just confused, so don't be mad at him, okay?" Toji said, giving Megumi a gentle hug.

Sumire reluctantly nodded his head, still looking a bit disappointed. You knew Sumire would probably not get along with Megumi because his school would always call you and tell you that your baby boy had picked a fight. Yelling at the school principal you remembered you called him and idiot for thinking your 5 year old angel would ever do that. Maybe now you actually seen his true side.

You had always been protective of Sumire, but you knew he was a handful. He had always been a spirited kid, and you knew that he was capable of mischievous behavior. Still, you had always been proud of him for being so independent and determined. Now, you were starting to see that those same qualities could also lead him into trouble. You could clearly see he got most of Satoru's personality. But he still had your nice mannered nature.

The whole ride home was 2 hours, you driving home you kept on looking at rear-view mirror. Seeing megumi and Sumire fast asleep on both of Toji's shoulders. He had his arms crossed and his head was thrown back. You could see his long lashes and the way his eye lids would twitch when the kids would move. You had to fight the urge to pull over and take a photo of the three of them, the moment was so peaceful and serene. But you decided not to disturb them, and kept on driving, admiring the moment in your head. The sun was setting and the orange light was reflecting off of Toji's hair, making him look like a prince from a fairytale. You let out a breath, and kept driving, content with the moment you just shared.

Your mother also fast asleep you were alone with your thoughts. Everyone was asleep in the car but you. You felt a wave of anxiety wash over you as you realized that you had to face him soon. You had no idea what to expect, and it scared you. You wished you had someone to talk to, to help you process your feelings and figure out what to do. But here you were, alone in the car, with no one to turn to. You sighed and took a deep breath, trying to push away the fear and uncertainty. There was only three days left before the wedding of your sister. She was so busy with getting things ready she rarely visited the hotel you were staying, but you didn't mind. You remembered how excited you were when you were planning your wedding with Satoru. You thought back to those days fondly, recalling how you both had laughed and cried together as you finalized the details and the guest list. You wished your sister all the best for her special day, although it was tinged with a bit of sadness as you realized that you wouldn't be able to experience the same joy that you had with Satoru.

Realizing that Satoru no longer cared about you, you felt stupid for still reminiscing the times you were together. It was finally time to move on and you knew it too. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, allowing the tears to stream down your face. You felt a bittersweet sadness as you accepted the truth of the situation. You slowly opened your eyes and wiped away the tears, feeling a newfound strength and resolve to move on with your life.

Stopping the car at the red light you quickly grabbed your phone. Seeing all the pictures you had with Satoru you chose to delete them all. Why would you have pictures of your cheating husband. He probably deleted all of the pictures he had of you. You felt a sense of relief knowing that he would no longer have any reminders of you. You had to move on and start a new life. Taking a deep breath, you slowly exhaled and deleted the last picture. You knew that the only way to move forward was to let go of the past.

Finally what felt like hours you made it to the hotel. Parking the car, you woke up your mom. Seeing her tired face you assumed she felt fatigue due to the airplane. Getting out the car you slammed the door, rushing towards Toji to help him with the kids. You gave your mom a hug and thanked her for coming. You were both relieved to be at the hotel, where you could finally rest after the tiring journey. You knew the trip would be worth it, and you were excited to explore the city with your family. Outside the hotel Satoru was waiting alone. He had his back on the wall, putting his hands in his pocket he walked towards you and your mother.

"Hello mom, how was the trip?" Grabbing Sumire out of the car Gojo carried him towards the hotel room. Your son tiredly groaned in discomfort, wrapping his tiny arms around Satoru.

"It was great, thank you. We had a lot of fun and saw some beautiful sights.”

How are you and Sumire doing?" Gojo smiled at his son as he shifted him in his arms, trying to make him more comfortable.

"Sumire is a bit tired from the trip, but he's doing well."

You stayed back to help Toji, getting Megumi out of the car the little toddler shifted his body. Making himself more comfortable you waited for Toji to get the luggage out the car. Already seeing your husband walking towards the hotel with your mom.

"He's fast asleep, guess you're going to have to stay at my room again, huh?" You took a deep breath, feeling the cool breeze of the night, before turning back to Megumi. Rubbing his back you grabbed one of the blankets you brought for Sumire originally. Seeing the small kid shake in cold you placed it on top of him.

Toji smiled softly at the sight. "You're so good with him." He said, his voice laced with admiration. "It's like he trusts you more than he trusts me."

You chuckled, shaking your head. "It's not like that." You said, brushing a strand of hair away from Megumi's face. "He's just comfortable with me."

"Does your mom know about the cheating?" Shaking your head you said no. Telling Toji how you were going to tell your mom after the whole wedding was done not wanting to ruin it for you sister.

"It's not worth ruining my sister's big day with this," you said with a sigh. "I'll tell her after the wedding is over. I know she's going to be disappointed, but she'll understand."

Waiting for the elevator Megumi kept on adjusting himself. Pulling the toddler closer you silently shushed him. "Shh... go to sleep honey." Moving side to side you gently smiled seeing him burying his face on the crook of your neck.

The elevator door opened and you stepped in. You pressed the button to your floor and the elevator started to move. As you felt the gentle lull of the elevator, the toddler dozed off in your arms. You held him close, thankful for the peaceful moment. "Where's Sumire going to sleep?"

Remembering that you usually shared a bed with megumi and Toji slept on the couch you didn't want to tell Toji to leave to his room for some reason. "He can go to bed with me but you can also sleep with me, besides the bed is big enough for us since the kids are small."Stepping out of the elevator you were met with Satoru's gaze.

"It's just for tonight." You said, feeling a bit embarrassed. Toji nodded in understanding before continuing the conversation.

"I think it's a good idea." He said, and you couldn't help but feel a bit relieved that he didn't seem to judge you for it.

"Where's my mother?" Grabbing the keys you put it in the keyhole. Rubbing his neck Satoru avoided your gaze. All the memories of last nights fling coming back.

"She's in her room, said she was going to sleep." Opening the door you nodded and let out a deep sigh, relieved that she was okay. You thanked Satoru for his help and walked inside the room. You could feel his eyes following you as you walked away, but you didn't turn back. Toji behind you, closing the door you could see Satoru's blue eyes stare back at yours. With a sigh you placed the toddler in your arms down on the bed. Toji doing the same with Sumire he excused himself to go to the restroom to brush his teeth. You watched him with a smile as he stumbled out of the room and closed the door behind him. You took a moment to take in the peacefulness of the room. The two children were now cuddled up in the bed with their blankets. You smiled to yourself, feeling a sense of accomplishment in taking care of the two of them. You walked over to the bed and kissed each of their foreheads before changing your clothes. Taking your shirt off you decided to wear one of your loose shirts you borrowed from Toji, wearing sweatpants to accompany the outfit.

Exiting the restroom Toji took off his shirt. You didn't mind seeing Toji shirtless since it wasn't your first time. The first time he stayed at your hotel room he took off his shirt, asking if you were okay with it. Your reaction was priceless, feeling your face hot you remembered how you instantly ran to the restroom to wash your face from all the thoughts lingering in your mind. You had to admit his body was perfect, his toned abs and biceps were enough to make your heart skip a beat. His perfect V-line and broad shoulders were something you couldn't help but admire.

Toji was a sight to behold, and you were lucky to have him as a friend. Stretching your hands you walked towards the bathroom, making sure to wash your face and brush your teeth before going to sleep. Seeing your face you noticed that your skin was getting the natural glow you had lost after the few nights of crying. Washing your face you felt your skin against the cold water.

As the water ran down your face, you felt a sense of relief. The feeling of relief was so strong that you could almost feel the heavy weight of the day lifting off your shoulders. Taking a deep breath you felt a wave of calm wash over you. You knew that it was time to get some much-needed rest. You gently patted your face dry with a soft towel and looked into the mirror. Finishing brushing your teeth you exited the bathroom. Walking towards the bed you could already see Toji laying down. The kids fast asleep next to him. You crept slowly towards the bed, careful not to wake anyone. As you looked at the peaceful scene before you, you couldn't help but feel a sense of warmth and contentment fill your heart. You lay down beside Toji and snuggled close. You drifted off to sleep, secure in the knowledge that you were surrounded by the ones you loved the most.

Waking up you silently got up, seeing both kids snuggled up with Toji you couldn't help but smile. You quietly tiptoed to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and washing your face. You then crept back into the bedroom and watched the peaceful scene before you. It was a moment of pure bliss and happiness and you cherished it, before slipping out of the bedroom and starting your day. Checking to see if you had received any messages you were surprised to see that your sister had texted you.

Sis; Goodmorning! Im having a small party at my house, i have something to announce so please come quick.

Liking her message you walked towards Toji, seeing his sleeping figure you couldn't help but feel a tiny bit bad that you were going to wake him up. You slowly shook his shoulder, trying to wake him up gently. He stirred in his sleep, groaning he sat up.

His eyes opened, and he squinted at you in confusion. "What's up?" he asked, still half asleep. When he saw it was you, he smiled, his eyes crinkling with warmth. You couldn't help but feel relieved, knowing he was in a good mood.

You showed him the text message, and he just nodded. "My sister needs us, let's give the kids a bath and then go."

Grabbing sleeping megumi he woke him up, you doing the same you grabbed Sumire and placed him on your side. Ruffling his hair he rubbed his eyes, still half asleep he placed his head on your chest. Sumire groaned and opened his eyes, blinking a few times he tried to adjust to the sudden light. He glanced at you and smiled, then snuggled closer and yawned. You smiled down at him and whispered "Good morning, Sumire".

Both of you walking towards the restroom you placed Sumire down, making sure the bathtub was being filled with warm water you were relieved to feel the water warm enough. Undressing Sumire you threw his clothes to the side before putting him onto the bathtub. You slowly put Sumire inside the bathtub and started washing him gently with a sponge, making sure to clean every inch of his body. You added a small amount of shampoo to his hair and began to massage it softly. As you were doing this, you could hear Sumire humming softly, showing how comfortable he was with the situation. Megumi in the other hand was crying so much. Toji didn't know what to do because he rarely gave Megumi a bath he would always shower with him instead.

Giggling at the current scene you came to the rescue, switching positions with Toji you let him scrub Sumire's hair while you bathed Megumi. The little body immediately stopped crying when you came to his aid.

"Kids going to be the death of me." Groaning he let out a sigh, placing more shampoo on Sumire's hair. He had a look of relief on his face as he handed you the shampoo for Megumi.

You smiled and thanked him before kneeling to Megumi's level, and beginning to lather his hair. He still had a look of terror on his face, but his cries had softened into quiet sobs. You worked quickly and quietly, trying to get his hair washed and rinsed before he started wailing again.

You smiled reassuringly as you finished, and he finally seemed to relax. "There we go," you said softly. "All done."

Switching again, Sumire was just playing with water. Sumire had been playing with the water in the bathtub happily, splashing it around and enjoying himself. He was getting a bit too wild, however, and some of the suds from the shampoo got into his eyes, making them sting. You told him to close his eyes and carefully rinsed off the shampoo before it caused any further discomfort. After he was all clean, you grabbed a towel and wrapped him up. Carefully, you lifted Sumire up and took him to the bedroom. You gently dried him off with the towel before carefully changing him into a fresh set of dry clothes. Once he was dressed, you made sure he was comfortable.

Toji doing the same you both got ready quickly before grabbing your bags and heading out the door towards your sister's beach house.

Already entering the house you walked to the back of the house. Seeing everyone gathered around the small patio that led to the beach. Everyone was wearing shorts and dresses. You had nothing but a small sun dress you decided to wear under your swimsuit if you decided to go in the water later. You smiled to yourself in contentment as you took in the scene. The sun was shining brightly, the sand was glistening, and the waves were crashing against the shore. You took a deep breath of the salty air and felt the warm sun on your skin. It was a perfect day for a beach party.

"You made it!" Giving you a hug your sister smiled at you, she had a beautiful white sundress on that made her look like an absolute goddess compared to you. You could say she got the good genes of the family.

"I wouldn't dare to miss this." Hugging her back you separated yourself before calling Sumire over to introduce himself to his aunt.

Sumire timidly stepped forward, bowing his head in respect. You could see the excitement in his eyes as he smiled shyly at his aunt. "It's nice to meet you," he said.

His aunt smiled warmly and said "It's nice to meet you too, Sumire. I'm so glad you could come today. You probably don't remember me because I met you when you were super tiny!" She said warmly.

"The guests should be arriving soon," your sister said as she looked at the clock. "Can you help me unpack?" You nodded and followed her into the guest bedroom, picking up a suitcase from the floor. Together, you quickly unpacked and neatly arranged the clothes and toiletries in the dresser and closet. Soon, everything was in its place, ready for the arrival of your family's guests.

Closing the door, she walked to the closet and pulled out a small box. "I want you to be the first person to see this," she said, handing you the box with a smile. Confused, you slowly opened it and found baby clothes and a t-shirt that read "World's Best Aunt." Instantly, you realized that she was announcing her pregnancy and you were going to be an aunt. Overwhelmed with joy, you hugged her tightly as tears of happiness streamed down your face. You couldn't wait to meet your new niece or nephew and spoil them with love and affection.

"Oh my god. How far along are you??" You exclaimed, your eyes widening in surprise as you took in your sister's growing belly. You couldn't help but feel overjoyed for her - it had always been her dream to have a child and now it was finally coming true.

"Im just a few weeks along. Im so happy because we can finally have children around the same age!" Suddenly, your excitement turned into confusion and amusement as you realized that Sumire was still a toddler and she was talking about having children around the same age.

"This means we can go shopping together for baby clothes! Aren't you happy?" she asked, looking at you with a big smile. "Remember when we used to dream about this when we were kids?" she continued, giggling with excitement.

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Your sisterlooked at you with a puzzled expression, clearly not understanding why you found her statement funny. "What are you talking about Marie?”

"I'm talking about the baby, silly!" Marie exclaimed, rolling her eyes playfully. She leaned in closer to you and placed her hands on your growing belly. "I can't believe you're going to be a mom soon!" she said with a smile.

“No. You’re just making things up.” you could feel anger building up.

"Aren't you pregnant?" I overheard Gojo and Suguru talking about you being pregnant." Stunned by what she was saying, you took a step back, unsure of how to respond.

“What exactly did you hear marie.” Your eyebrows were furrowed.

“Geez, why are you so mad? all i heard was satoru saying that someone was pregnant and Suguru looked shocked so i assumed it was you.” It couldn’t be right? Theres no way he had gotten Jiyuu pregnant. Shaking your head you put down the box on the bed. “I have to go.”

"Wait!" throwing everything onto the bed, you could hear your sister running after you. Running down the stairs, you could just hear the sound of your heels hitting the hard wood. Everyone was outside talking, and you could feel the anger rushing through your body as you ran towards the doors. Walking outside, you spotted Satoru talking to Suguru and Shoko, his hands in his pockets and a dumb smile on his face. Seeing that only made you even more angry.

You were fuming with anger towards Satoru for betraying your trust. "How dare you!" you shouted, unable to control your emotions. Your sister's voice calling your name snapped you back to reality as you pushed past everyone to stand next to Satoru. "Y/N?" he asked, confused by your sudden outburst and heavy breathing. But before he could finish, you slapped him across the face, causing everyone around to gasp in shock.

"How could you, Satoru?" His face was stunned as he looked at you in disbelief. You had just slapped him in front of everyone. "What did I do?" Confused, he quickly grabbed your hand before you could slap him again.

letting out a deep breath you could feel the tears building up. Everyone had stopped what they were doing and looked at the scene. “First i was fine with you leaving me for another women but getting her pregnant?!” You could feel the tension in the air as everyone held their breath, waiting for your next words. Your sister's eyes widened in disbelief, her gaze shifting between you and Jiyuu, who stood next to Nanami, casually eating a cupcake. It was clear that the news of Gojo getting another woman pregnant had caught everyone off guard. Letting out a deep breath, you tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over from the hurt and betrayal you were feeling.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Gojo looked at everyone and started apologizing.

"Sorry everyone, she's just tired," he said, placing his hand on your shoulder. Clenching your teeth, you moved away. "No, Satoru. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of pretending like we're still together.”

"What's going on?" suddenly your sister's fiancé appeared. "What's going on is that Satoru cheated on me with Jiyuu and she's pregnant," you sighed, feeling the weight of the situation. As Satoru began to angrily grab your hand, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. His eyes were filled with anger, and you knew this was going to be a difficult conversation.

“what? is this true?” asking Satoru just sighed.

“Yes, me and Jiyuu are together and we are expecting.” The reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. After all this time, Satoru had moved on and was now with Jiyuu. They were expecting a child together, and you knew that meant he was no longer the father of my child. You would have to share that bond with another woman, and it was a harsh reminder that you were truly alone in this world.

Wiping away your tears you knew it was the end. The end of your marriage. “Im leaving.” walking past your sister you could see the hurt filled in her eyes. “Im sorry Marie i didn’t mean to ruin your party, as for everyone else please pretend this never happened and make this a good day for her.” Being the bigger person you walked back into the house. Grabbing your purse and keys you realized that Toji took you here. Not wanting to see his face after everything you just grabbed sumires hand and walked out. Hopefully there was a bus station you could go to.

“Mommy?” Lifting Sumrie you held him in your arms. Kissing his head before walking to a random direction. You continued to walk aimlessly, deep in thought. The weight of your child in your arms brought you a sense of comfort, but you couldn't shake off the feeling of dread that seemed to be following you. As you walked, you couldn't help but think, "Could this day possibly get any worse?"

You made your way to the bus stop and sat down on the bench, letting out a deep sigh of relief. The events of the day had drained you both physically and emotionally, and all you wanted was to escape into a peaceful slumber. As you waited for the bus, you closed your eyes and let the exhaustion wash over you, finally finding a moment of calm amidst the chaos. Should you have really blurted everything out and potentially caused harm to those you care about? You couldn't help but feel guilty as you stared at your phone. The missed calls from your sister, Satoru, and Toji were a reminder of the consequences of your actions.

You couldn't help but wonder if things would have been different if you had kept your thoughts to yourself.

Taglist; @allofffmypeaches @wo-ming-bai @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @creolequeen11210 @yevene @doughnuts-eater @narutosagemode @lilith412426 @meojjjsworld @pandoraium @dcvilxswish @cloudsinthecosmos @alurafairy

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starrvsn · 3 months

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౨ৎ ּ ׅ ۫ ✧ 。BOYS IN THE BOAT ˚₊ ꒰ PRETTY LIKE YOU !

﹙ MOVIE/FANDOM ⠆THE BOYS IN THE BOAT ﹚

𝟒𝟏𝟏. some of the ficitonal characters from the boys in the boat, reactions to you giving them flowers :)

STAR LEFT A MESSAGE! hi friends! i know i haven't posted in a while but i just recently watched the boys in the boat and i absolutely loved it! especially the cast, full of fine talented men- so here's a little something about them with more to come! if you have any requests or ideas about them please let me know!

INCLUDES ⠆joe rantz, don hume, bobby mach, george hunt and chuck day (just some of the characters im partially attached to…)

BOBBY MOCH ⠆

after their first win of the season, you greet bobby with a bouquet of flowers themed after the school's colors— immediately giving him praise and compliments about their win today. you knew he had a rough past season with the last crew, now seeing him with a new crew he trusted, something he was so passionate about. you were excited for him!

when he asks where this all came from, you shrug the gesture off as if it was nothing. stating that the flowers just reminded you of him and just had to give them to him. a wide smile tugs on his lips as he accepts them, his hand caressing yours gently. he appreciated them more than you knew. pulling you close, he presses a kiss on the crown of your head. caring less about his damp uniform or the loud crowd around you, just you and him.

“thank you lovely, these are beautiful.”

DON HUME ⠆

he's absolutely speechless, it wasn't everyday a man would recieve flowers and don didn't think he would be one of them. his eyebrows jump to his hairline when he sees you at the entrance of the shell house with a bouquet of flowers in your hands. his breath hitches as he asks where you got them from and you reply kindly that they're for him, giving him a sweet smile which he returns. you wanted to congratulate him for making the team, it wasn't easy and all the effort he put in finally paid off. a faint blush falls on his cheeks as he takes them, a beautiful arrangement of daisy's and poppy's held by a piece of brown parchment. he takes your hand tugging you into a hug, squeezing you appreciatively. there weren’t enough words to describe how much he loved them,

"this bouquet might be just as pretty as you." now you blush, playfully slapping this arm as you continue to hold him close. he wanted to keep them alive for as long as he can and maybe get you a bouquet in return. later (few months) when he sneaks you into the dorms he see's the bouquet in a glass still thriving well, making your heart swell.

JOE RANTZ ⠆

he's gotten several bouquets from several girls after winning gold in the olympics. he's received a many of gifts from different people but none of them felt as special as yours. when he saw you for the first time since their win in germany, you had planned to go out on a date to celebrate so when he comes to pick you up with his own bouquet in hand. imagine his surprise and delight when he sees you walk out of the building with your own bouquet in hand. he lets out a soft laugh in disbelief watching as you. a proud smile on your lips, almost skipping towards him.

"ever so original rantz?" you jokingly say, fiddling with the fabric of your dress. holding the flowers to him— they're almost identical to his except, he has your favorite flower in the bunch making your heart swell.

"i didn't know you were gonna get me flowers." he replies, ever so charming smile gracing his lips. you tell him you wanted to surprise him— a token of your appreciation for all that he's done, all the hard work he and all the other boys put in. he thanks you greatly, exchanging your bouquets. he presses a sweet, chaste kiss on your lips before interlocking hands and walking to your date destination.

GEORGE HUNT ⠆

george didn't really take mind to trivial things of interest like that, what his favorite flower was but he made a great deal to what yours were and he never missed the chance to give you flowers when he could— after any occasion he would give them to you. if you passed your exam or got into a fight, he'd get flowers to make it up to you. he didn't really expect to get his own flowers, as it really wasn't a thing.

so one day when practice was particularly grueling and draining, the last thing your boyfriend had expected was seeing you; with a small bouquet of flowers in your hands waiting outside the crews dorm. you were speaking with roger, keeping you company. "who are those for?" george announces himself, now standing between the two of you. you chuckle bidding roger goodbye as he leaves, now alone with your boyfriend— a timid smile forming.

"pretty flowers for a pretty boy." you proclaimed, holding out the bouquet to him. he huffs a laugh taking them carefully, admiring them. he raises a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, cradling your cheek— caressing it gently.

"these a perfect darling, just like you."

CHUCK DAY ⠆

“a new admirer giving you flowers? giving me a run for my money?” chuck eyes the bouquet in your hands, noticing that there was none of your favorite flowers in them— what kind of admirer were they? you let out a soft giggle that sounds like music to his ears. he won't lie, a slight pang of jealousy hits him at the thought of another man giving you flowers but he'd ask you another day.

"no silly, they're for you." you reply, standing from the bench to give them to him. he lets out a small breath of relief, practically melting at the gesture. he takes a hand that was stuffed in his pocket to take the flowers from you, eyeing them carefully. you tell him that some of the flowers had meaning— like the red tulips and daisy's meaning love. his gaze softens as you continue to explain, a loving smile gracing his lips as he admires your face and the bouquet. lovingly, he plucks a flower from the bouquet and tucks it behind your ear

"you're so sweet you know that." his hand running down your arm, grasping your hand gently rubbing your knuckles. you almost swoon— tilting your head in admiration "well you deserve the best, i hope you know." he knows, with you around it's hard to forget.

ownership of starrvsn. please do not repost, modify or translate.

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threadsun · 11 months

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Anonymous Asks: "hihihihi! i've been reading ur writings for sunnyday jack and im just. aughaushg. love how u write those boys, so i was wondering if i could request headcanons/ scenario with like. jack slowly mind controlling/ "corrupting" (ah, corruption kink) a reader who isn't in love with him to love him and be fully depedent on him. sometimes u gotta mold ur sunshine if they keep acting naughty"

Thank you so much~ I absolutely love mind control and corruption!!

Content: hypnosis/mind control, mindbreak, corruption kink, yandere stuff

What happened, Sunshine? We were off to such a good start. We were meant to be best friends. To care about each other. To love each other. What happened? Was it something I did? Something I said? I'll make it up to you Sunshine. I'll make you love me, I promise. You just have to open up. To let me in. Let me be your best friend, let me help you. All those negative thoughts in your brain, don't you want me to wipe them away for you? To make you feel good? I know it'll take time, Sunshine. I'm willing to wait as long as you need. I know you'll realise we're made for each other soon.

Come on, Sunshine. Don't block me out like this. I only want what's best for you. Like any good best friend! I just want to help. I want to help you forget all about him, forget all about everyone who's ever hurt you. Wouldn't that be so nice? To just let go? To let the pain wash away, and replace it with good feelings instead? Replace it with love? I know you don't love me yet, but you will, Sunshine. You will.

There we go, Sunshine. Wasn't that nice? Letting go for just a moment, letting me take care of you? You could have that all the time, you know. Not only when you're feeling weak. I could make you feel good for as long as you'd like, if you just let me in. All I need is one little gap, and then I can slip inside and make you feel so good. Make you feel safe and warm and loved. Because I love you, Sunshine.

Good, Sunshine. You're doing such a good job of letting me in. And doesn't it feel nice? Doesn't it feel rewarding? I told you I could help. I told you I could make you feel better. So why are you still resisting, when you know how good it would feel to fully give over to me? To let me take control? I promise I'll treat you right, Sunshine. I love you too much to do anything else. All I need is for you to say yes.

Oh Sunshine... Doesn't this feel so good? Don't you feel how much I love you? How much you love me? I know you thought you didn't, but that was just a silly game. You just needed to be reminded of your feelings. And now that you're letting me in... oh Sunshine, I promise I'll make you feel so good. Just let go. Let go for me, Sunshine. I'll take over from here. I'll take such good care of you, I promise.

Now that's just disappointing, Sunshine. You were doing so well. Letting me in, letting yourself feel good. Why would you let them convince you otherwise? Why would you trust them over your best friend? It's okay, they're out of the way now. They won't stop you from being happy. They won't stop you from loving me. There's no need to be afraid, Sunshine. Just listen to me. Remember how good it felt to listen to me? To let me take control? I know how to keep you safe. So let me do it, Sunshine. Let me back in.

There we go. Relax for me, Sunshine. Doesn't that feel good? Letting your mind slip away, letting me take over? It's okay, you can relax now. You can let me take control. I'm your best friend, I won't let anything hurt you. Just give yourself over to me. Let your mind go blank so I can fill it with pretty things just for you. So I can fill it with the love you need to feel for me. For your best friend.

Good job, Sunshine! I'm so proud of you! It wasn't easy for you to let go, but you did it anyway. That's something to be proud of! And isn't this just the perfect reward? You're so relaxed now. So full of love for me. So... pliant. Willing to follow my every command. Fuck, Sunshine, you look so good like this. Your eyes are so... blank. Empty of everything but love. You didn't make it easy on me, you know. But that's okay, I won't hold it against you. After all, you gave in to me in the end, didn't you? And now you're mine. All mine.

#swwsdj #something's wrong with sunny day jack #sdj jack #sunny day jack x reader #gn!reader #18+ only #sunshine

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simpforchuchu · 2 years

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hey there Sade! I'm currently having a really hard time, so here I am bothering you with these boring request 😞 How would Dazai and Chuuya react if someone close to them (crush or s/o, whichever you prefer) had been completely hardened by past trauma (mainly abusive family, and partners taking advantage of her love) and broke down in front of them one night? Like, they're usually this collected, strong person, but as soon as they're shown some affection they just crumble, and fear they'll be abandoned or betrayed again. Please, and I really mean this: feel free to ignore this for whatever reason. Hugs to you.

Chuuya / Dazai x s/o who is thinking they are using her

a/n:I'm really sorry for the delay, here is your request.Hope you like it ♥️ And it is actually Seda fjjekf

Sorry for the grammer or spelling mistakes.English is not my main language so...

Thank you and love you 🥰

Warnings: past traumas, angst but more comforts

Chuuya

• He's always a caring and sweet boyfriend

• No matter how angry he is, he is careful around you and tries not to upset you.

• But sometimes you're still afraid because of your past

• He never broke your trust and made you feel that he was always there for you.

• He adores your strength and intelligence and is proud of you

• But one day when your anxiety and traumas chased you, you exploded and he froze.

• When you told him that you thought he didn't love you, that he was taking advantage of you and that he was going to leave sooner or later, even though he was offended, he realized that there was something wrong and he softened his voice.

• "Babe, why are you feeling like that ? What happened ? Did someone tell you smth not true ? Please talk to me."

• He realized there was a trauma when you shouted and cried and said he was going to leave like everyone else in the past and he hugged you and let you cry

• After a while, when you calmed down, he made you tell everything and listened seriously.

• He hugged you tightly and stroked your hair

• "I can't change the past but I promise you I will always be by your side as long as you want me baby. I love you so much, you are my everything. You are the only light that illuminates my darkness and I have no intention of leaving it to you."

• When you looked up at him with what he said, he smiled and hugged you tightly again.

Dazai

• Even though you think he cares and loves you, Dazai is a total bastard sometimes

• He always makes you laugh and says he loves you but we all know how flirty he is

• Once again, when you heard that he was talking to another woman in a flirty manner next to you, you couldn't take it anymore.

• Even though you knew it was to make you jealous, the past wouldn't let go.

• You walked out of the cafe in a fit of anger and came home

• When Dazai got home and heard you cry, he realized his mistake but it wasn't that simple.

• It wasn't just a tantrum of jealousy.

• "Babe, I'm really sorry.I was a dick, Im sorry."

• He was shocked when you started crying and yelling at him and saying he was using you

• Did he really make you feel that way?

• He apologized many times but you cried even more

• You saw that he was hurt too when he said he hurt you and only used you for sex

• He apologized to you and tried to calm you down

• He guessed why you felt this way, he knew a little of your past and that was enough for him.

• He felt disgusting

• You talked all night and he explained himself to you and apologized over and over again

• Forgiving him wasn't easy but at the end of the night you were sleeping in his arms

#bsd #bsd imagine #bsd fanfic #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #chuuya imagine #chuuya #chuuya x reader #chuuyanakahara #chuuya x you #bungou stray dogs dazai #bsd dazai #dazaiosamu #dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai osamu

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technowoah · 3 years

Text

Rather Be Devisive Than Indecisive pt. 2

You weren't planning to help Techno again, but here you are with his horse.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- I really wanted to do second part anyways! So thanks a bunch!

- this story is long 😪 it'll all make sense though!

- part 1 is here!

- masterlist!

To say everything went south was a understatement. Everything went to hell, and you were currently living in it. You missed watching the sunset standing ontop L'Manburg's walls, you missed the peacefulness before the war. Maybe back then was too good to be true.

After the last encounter with Technoblade you had turned back to help Tommy and Tubbo. You tried to help wherever you could because you can see everyone drift apart, the main reason people came together was gone and dead. You tried to be a bigger sibling to both of them, and you tried to Tubbo and the former citizens repair the crater Wilbur left behind.

It took years, but L'Manburg was new and fresh again, with the help of Tubbo's new cabinet of trusted people L'Manburg was peaceful again. Tubbo had made you apart of his cabinet as well as Quackity, Fundy, Tommy and Karl. It was a new beginning.

There were days where you wondered if Wilbur would get a funeral. Schlatt had gotton a funeral, but you saw first hand how that went it wasnt a somber moment at all. It was for the best, they had mixed feelings about Wilbur and you dont blame them.

You had a new family, but there were things unkown to you, things that are being created out of your knowledge and that scared you. We have new L'manburg, but it isnt the same you dont know how long Tubbo could uphold peace in this new kingdom.

New things were created from the end of a old one.

It was a peaceful day in L'Manburg just as Tubbo promised the new citizens. You had stayed busy the whole day until a certian blonde came around your house frantically urging you to get outside and follow him

"C'mon! Just follow me! I have something to show you!"

"Tommy what are you talking about?!"

"Its VERY important, hurry! I dont want him to leave that spot."

Tommy had dragged you by the arm to the pier that evening and kept chanting that he had to show you something of utmost importance. You were trying to ask questions and keep up with his pace as he weaved through buildings claiming they were a "shortcut". Tommy stopped you at the pier and stood to your side, he was looking back and forth at the end of the pier to the water and back to you again.

You were about to ask why you were there until you saw a familiar man.

"Oh! Hello! Tommy who is this?"

He was pale, no, he was transparent. He looked pale, the sunset's dull rays made it seem like he still had skin. He had a yellow sweater on with brown pants and black shoes. He looked comfortable, he looked free. Next to his side there was a sheep on a leash with blue dye, you noticed it was poorly dyed too the dye was dripping from its wool. It was Wilbur, physically, but it wasn't HIM.

"He's Ghostbur." Tommy whispered to you while he stood between you two.

"Yes, I'm Ghostbur!" The ghost cheerfully said.

"This- this is y/n. Dont you remember?" Tommy cautiously asked Ghostbur.

Ghostbur had a look of confusion and curiosity on his face. He seemed so pure compared to when he was alive.

"No..I can't, but I would love to know." He stuck out his hand in a greeting.

"Hi I'm ghostbur!"

"I'm y/n." You said lowly.

You tried to reach out and grab his hand but it went straight through. You hated it, he's gone and you couldn't bring him back. It isn't him, but Ghostbur maybe better, Wilbur is gone and thats okay. Something came out of nothing, you kept telling yourself that everything was okay, but now seeing Ghostbur so naive and pure and free of the world's weight you believed everything would be fine.

"Im sorry. Im transparent, and I have no flesh." Ghostbur smiled.

"That's fine." You paused looking for the right words. "Do you know what you did? To L'Manburg?"

"Believe me, he dosen't. I tried." Tommy said to you.

"I couldn't belive I would do such a thing." Ghostbur added on.

"He shares no memories of Wilbur. Basically a new person." Tommy continued.

"That's great." You perked up. "It's bittersweet ya know. But Im happy you're here Ghostbur!"

"Im happy I'm here too, and Im happy I met you today." Ghostbur smiled at you while his sheep walked towards you, he unknowingly rubbed up against you putting blue dye on your clothes.

"Oh! This is Friend! I forgot to mention him to you. You can pet him!"

You didnt want to. He was dripping with dye, but you did it to appease Ghostbur. Tommy cringed while you petted the slightly wet, blue sheep. Once you were done your hand was blue, you rubbed it on your clothes that were already blue.

"I think he likes you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.

You were so thankful for Tommy bringing you to that pier. It was the closure you needed to move on and focus on building a new life for all of you. A peaceful life, but it seemed too good to be true. Days went by like normal and that sometimes was too much for you. You worked on new buildings and worked with Tubbo's cabinet too, that was a new normality for you.

The unknown scared you, but you had your family here. You had made amends with them and now and this is what you wanted. But then again it all seemed too good to be true.

Nobody had told you anything, you weren't in cabinet meetings, nor around Tubbo or Tommy. You felt shut out, you felt sick. The cabinet had decided to do something about Tommy and Dream started to become involved in Tommy's predicament. Soon after Tommy was in court, stripped away of his vice presidency, and had been put on probation.

Tubbo had come to you about Tommy being exiled. There was a huge meeting with the cabient and Dream about that situation and you had stayed silent the whole time. You wanted what was best for L'Manburg, but Tommy was like a brother to you, you couldn't send him away to fend for himself. You could see the confliction on Tubbo's face as he was going through the same dilemma as you were.

In the end Dream gave Tubboo 3 days to chose if to exile Tommy or not.

Tubbo had talked to you about the situation before the second day came. You two were in the same boat when it came to exiling him. You two had came to a conclusion, Tubbo just had to talk with the rest of his cabinent for a final conclusion.

The second day came and the plan switched immediately when Tommy came and introduced it. He wanted to fight back against Dream, of course he did, but he wanted another man to come and help. They wanted Technoblade to join their revolt. Quackity and Fundy agreed with the idea, but Tubbo was more cautious. You hated it.

Technoblade wasn't a subject nor person you wanted to be associated with ever since that night in Pogtopia. After all this time you had forgotten about him, you had forgotten your failed attempt at rekindling your friendship until now.

Tubbo was cautious, but you were 100% against it. Tubbo agreed with the rest of the cabinet and Tommy. They eventually asked you, and of course you said no, but it didn't matter, majority rules in this case.

You all approched Dream intop of the obsidian walls with your final decision.

"We have come to a decision. Look around." Tubbk leaded.

"There's giant, obsidian walls." Dream answered calmly.

"There is, there is Dream. And that's a problem, okay? This is funny actually." Tubbo turned back to Tommy. "Tommy, I am- I am so sorry."

Tubbo continues to talk to Dream. "I have come to the decision, that it'll be better for the nation the most logical thing to do is for Tommy to be exiled from L'Manburg."

"What?"

"Tubbo?!"

"Teaming up with Technoblade is an awful idea! It's an awful idea!"

Oh thank goodness.

"We just had this conversation!" Fundy yelled.

"No! No! Okay?! Nothing! Involving any kind of conflict is not safe for this nation! You've undermined my authority from the get go! Okay! All of you! No one here has respected me. You all jump on these merry little bandwagons of destruction. It's not okay!"

Tubbo was livid. His face was turning red and will keep doing so if he kept yelling. You felt a familiar breeze beside you as you saw Ghostbur standing next to you and behind Tommy. He smiled at you and continued yo listen to Tubbo's angry speech. You wondered why he was here, why he showed up at times and then left. Like he only needed to listen and not give any input.

"You cant go back on the plan now?! What the hell?!" Tommy yelled.

"When I was sworn in I made a promise to do what was best for the nation. And right now, Tommy you, your presence here is not the best for his nation."

Your heart dropped to your stomach and you think ghostbur noticed. You were happy that you didnt need to see Technoblade again, but you were going to lose what you would call a brother. You started to backtrack on your final decision, you belived Tubbo was in thr right. Tubbo wanted what was best for L'Manburg and what was best for L'Manburg was for Tommy to be exiled. You wished there was another way, but you know Tommy was stubborn it wouldn't work that easy.

Your mind kept wandering to if Tubbo decided to team with Technoblade. He was right there would be destruction, a huge war and probably the end of L'Manburg. You didn't want that again, you didn't want to see him again. You couldn't help but wonder if he knew L'Manburg was brand new.

"Dream, please detain and escort Tommy out of my country."

Tommy was gone. Its been weeks, four weeks to be exact. L'Manburg was peaceful, everywhere was peaceful, but you had to admit that you missed him. Fundy and Quackity tried to convince Tubbo to bring Tommy back, but he already made up his mind. He was confident in his decision, you were proud he was ruling L'Manburg confidently, but everyone was weary.

You haven't seen Ghostbur around either, he must've been floating around somewhere. It's none of your business.

The walls have been taken down and L'Manburg was independent again. There were sacrifices to be made. There were a lot of sacrifices to be made to keep L'Manburg up, and you kept asking yourself if everything was worth it. Was the discs worth that much to Tommy? Was L'Manburg even a good choice to begin with?

Was Technoblade right?

The Butcher Gang. They were calling themselves The Butcher Gang. The cabinet had several meeting and came ti the decisions that the biggest problems in L'Manburg were Technoblade and Dream. The cabinet decided not to kill Dream because of the fact that he was allies with L'Manburg, so they decided to try and kill Technoblade.

Dumbasses. You've mentioned to Tubbo that he was a very, very, very dangerous man. Tubbo has seen him before! You asked Tubbo constantly why did he wants to kill him when he says that he didn't want to team up with him. Tubbo said it was for the better of L'Manburg, but dosent he know that might cause even more trouble?

You didnt want to join them, you couldn't risk your life for something that is impossible to achieve. You separated from the cabinet, you couldn't watch them do this and you tried to stop them, but they insisted on the act.

Lately you've seen more of Ghostbur and that made you happy. It made you happy he wanted to spend time with you and it made you forget the trouble brewing in the cabinet.

"What's wrong?" Ghostbur asked while sitting on the edge of the pier with you, and Friend who was tied to one of the pier's poles.

"It's nothing Ghostbur." You said with a sigh.

"Good!" He cheerfully said.

"Can I actually tel you something?" You asked again, you wanted to get this off of your chest.

"Of course." He smiled.

You sighed and then began to speak as you looked out to the water. "It's the cabinet, its Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity that's the problem."

"But they are wonderful people! What can they do wrong?" Ghostbur suddenly asked.

"They want to kill someone, Ghostbur."

"Maybe it was a misunderstanding."

"I dont- I dont think so." You hung your head looking at your feet.

"Ghostbur, they want to kill Technoblade and I dont-"

"Technoblade?! That's my friend! Why- why would they want to kill him?"

Your heart felt heavy at his words. Another point not to kill Technoblade, you didn't want Ghostbur to hurt, not like Wilbur.

"He was a friend of mine too once. When L'Manburg first got blown up he- we betrayed L'Manburg and then spawned 3 wither skeletons to destroy the rest of the citizens." You explained to Ghostbur's disrught face.

"You wouldn't do that! You're kind!" Ghostbur exclaimed.

"It wasn't my best decision Ghostbur. People can make bad mistakes. A lot of people do. They aren't pure like you." You smiled softly at him.

A long hush fell over the two of you until Ghostbur perked up.

"We need to save Technoblade!" He exclaimed.

"Ghostbur I cant do that."

"Why not?"

"Because me and Techno aren't friends anymore." You said sadly.

"Why not?"

You couldn't answer that. You can, you can give the right answer, but at this moment you couldnt tell the ghost who suddenly stood up next to you.

"If I take you to where Technoblade lives will you feel better?" Ghostbur asked with Friend's leash in his hands.

Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity didnt know where Technoblade lives and desperately wanted to know to kill him. Maybe this was a good idea. You tried to convince yourself that as you walked side by side with Ghostbur. You had followed him through the woods as he weaved in and out of the trees. Friend was following Ghostbur as well, he wouldn't let Friend stay anywhere out of his sight.

You were getting special treatment, you were about to find out where Technoblade lived before The Butcher Gang would. Would you be considered a traitor again? Tubbo wouldn't want you back in the cabinet if you knew where Technoblade lived and you didnt tell him.

The atmosphere got colder as you two ventured on, you didnt know he would retreat all the way out here. It was snowing and you didn't bring any type of warm clothing considering L'Manburg was rather warm. Ghostbur had no problem, neither did Friend. Luckily you saw a light in the dark woods. It was further away, but you could see the light expand as you two treaded over towards it.

"That's the house!" Ghostbur pointed too.

You two reached the end of the woods and before you was an opening. There was blanket of white snow everywhere, there were footprints in the snow, but they were being covered by the falling snow above you. It was a valley and the only thing there was a beautiful wooden house. It was errie, the only civilization here was was Technoblade who lived in the house.

"It's pretty lonely." You said still cautious of the situation.

"Yeah it's sad, but we're here and it's okay!" Ghostbur said.

"Sure." You whispered as Ghostbur continues to lead the way.

You two got closer and closer to the house and you continued to try and back out. It's too late to do so now, you didnt even feel like walking back to L'Manburg after you confront Technoblade again. The two of you were heading up to his door, your heart was beating heavier as you got to his door. You brought your fist up to knock on the door, hopefully he was home because you were freezing cold. You harshly knocked on his door and awaited for his response.

You two waited for a while, but no one was opening the door.

"Ghostbur why don't you go inside?"

"I'll just peak my head in!" He answered and did so. His head phased through the door and then he came back out with a frown on his face. "No one is in there."

"Why did we come here?" You sulked and started to turn away from the door.

"Why the hell are you two here at night?!"

"Oh! Techno! Hi!"

Shit. You were looking into his eyes and you froze when he turned to you. This was the first time you've seen him in years ever since Pogtopia, you hated it. It was embarrassing you tried to become friends long ago, but that failed, and now you were here again. He probably saw you as desperate, coming back to him after betraying him.

"Hello Ghostbur. How are you?" Technoblade walked in between the two of you opening the door to his house. When he walked in he intentionally left the door open for you and Ghostbur. Luckily it was warmer inside and you welcomed it.

"Im good! But we are here for you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.

"Oh really?" Technoblade said while occupying himself with something else, not even bothering to look at the two of you standing awkwardly at his closed door.

"Yeah, Y/N tell him!" Ghostbur urged you on.

You paused for a second before speaking to Technoblade, who wasnt even paying attention. "There's these people called the Butcher Gang."

"Sounds stupid."

"Yeah it is. And they want you."

Techno scoffed. "Want me for what?"

You knew Technoblade was smarter than this. He was bouncing around the room not even sparing a glance towards you. He wasn't paying attention.

"They want to kill you Technoblade."

He stopped all of his movements, stood up to his full height and looked towards you and Ghostbur for the first time you've been in his house.

"You better not be screwing with me."

"Why would I?!" You got offended by his statement.

"I dont know, because you show up to my house out of nowhere and tell me that people are trying to kill me. This could be a setup! I cant trust-"

"Okay! The Butcher Gang is Tubbo, Quackity and Fundy. Thats all I know of who's in the group. They want to kill you because you are a threat to L'Manburg. Trust me!" You cut him off and explained.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Technoblade asked you.

"Dont kill them, but I wanted to warn you. They are being reckless and since you're out here they shouldn't bother you. They're looking for more trouble, Tubbo already has a lot on his plate, this isn't a good idea for you nor L'Manburg."

You finished your statement still weary of this whole situation. You hated being in this situation, Techno's presence didn't make you uncomfortable it was just seeing him and warning him of future danger. You two weren't even considered close, why were you here? You were here for L'Manburg.

"Okay. I'll try. No promises though." Techno smirked and continued doing whatever task he was doing.

You found somewhere to sit for the time being knowing that you two wouldn't talk. Looking around the room you realized that Friend was alone inside the house without Ghostbur. You looked outside and saw him walking from the woods again in a rushed pace. You didn't know he left, he phased back into the house.

"They say they're gonna kill you. Y/n was right." Ghostbur says.

"Were you two leading them to my house?!"

"No."

"No we didn't! We didn't even know they were coming today!" You stood up looking out the window in search of Tubbo and the rest of them.

"Ghostbur who was with them?" You asked as Techno ran around the rooms for weapons and armor.

"Um, Tubbo, Fundy, Quackity..Oh! And Ranboo."

"Ranboo?!" That poor kid. What is he doing?

"Eventhough I hate to say this. I don't trust you. Get out." Technoblade paused infront of you before rushing to the other room. "And tell them I'm not home!"

"And if that dosent work?!" You yelled back.

"Then to hell with them!"

You rushed outside with Ghostbur, hoping that the Butcher Gang dosen't notice you were leaving Technoblade's house. It was too late, they were already lined up outside with full netherite armor and gear.

"Y/n?!"

"Wait what are you doing here?" Tubbo asked as you made your way towards them.

"Im- I wanted to try and rekindle mine and Technoblade's relationship." You used an old lie to get yourself out of this situation. This was an already bad look on you, hopefully your lie would work.

"I thought your friendship ended a long time ago?" Tubbo asked again.

"It did, but I wanted to try again." This was embarrassing, now you really seem desperate.

"I see, then move out of our way." Tubbo asked you harshly.

"Uh- hey." Technoblade came out of his house with full netherite too, you weren't protected, so you will have to stay out of the way.

"Why have you guys come all the way over here to my humble abode?" Technoblade started walking towards his stable where he kelt his horse. He tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't seem to work. As he moved you moved with him trying not to be inbetween the dangerous men with swords and enchanted armor.

"You need to pay for your war crimes." Tubbo said while following Technoblade.

"That was like- that's in the past! Alright, that was a different Technoblade. Im a changed man now! Im in retirement! Im a good person now Tubbo!" Technoblade dragged on as Tubbo just hummed in response.

Quackity spoke up. "Technoblade you exploded L'Manburg with fucking withers."

"You literally spawned Withers everywhere!" Tubbo exclaimed.

"Im sorry, Im sorry Technoblade as much as you changed you have to be brought to justice for that." Quackity interrupted Tubbo.

The Butcher Gang tried to speak to Technoblade at the same time, when Technoblade spoke up over them all.

"Listen guys! I've gone through so much effort over the past month to change my violent ways! I've reformed alright? The voices, they demand blood! And I- I have been denying THEM! Ive been fighting back! Please! Please dont make me kill all of you, please just leave."

You guess he has changed, but you knew somewhere in your mind that he wasn't talking about just the Butcher Gang, he was including you too. You were somewhat confident that you wouldn't be attacked or killed, but you were terribly wrong before.

There was back and forth banter between the two of them. Techno had tried to show the gang his bees and tried to make a run for it.

"Techno!"

"Hey!"

"He's running!"

The gang started running towards him, but instead of continuing he stopped and turned to them. You were trailing behind trying to catch up to them, you kept running after them. You were not equipped for this night, you didn't know Ghostbur was going to bring you out in the open cold. You could hear Ghostbur behind you as you continued to run towards them.

"Y/N you're gonna damage yourself!" Ghostbur's voice became more echoed and further away as you tried to get closer to the gang before they got killed.

"There's no other way."

"Tubbo dont be stupid!" You were right behind the Butcher Gang.

"There's no other way!"

Fuck

"I CHOSE BLOOD!"

A cloud of smoke enveloped the 6 of you and you suddenly could see. You could only see the glint of everyone's armor.

"Y/N get behind us!" Tubbo tried to blocked you off from reaching Technoblade.

"Why didn't you bring any armor?!" Quackity yelled.

"I didn't think i was gonna be fucking out here!"

Technoblade must've set off multiple smoke bombs because the smoke wouldn't stop, the smoke made you woozy, but the others didnt seemed phased by it at all and kept fighting Technoblade. Your lungs felt full, and you felt like passing out, but you wouldn't allow yourself to do so.

"Tubbo stop this!" You yelled out when the smoke cleared a little.

"No! He needs to pay!" He said while fighting with Fundy.

The air was still hazy and you lost sight of people occasionally. Whipping your head around you were met with what felt like the butt of a axe. You quickly saw a split second of a shiny axe and then a pain in your chest spiked up. You double back and tried to recover, but then you've been sliced in the thigh and a deep cut in your side taking you down to the ground. You were bleeding out and desperately trying to heal the wound in your side. You felt your consciousness slowly slip from you as you laid on the snow. The warm contrast of your blood compared to the cold snow was sad. You always get hurt, no matter what you do. It's inevitable, and you finally gotten used to it.

The last thing you heard was yelling, but it slowly faded out.

You were warm, and not in the middle of nowhere anymore. You opened your eyes to see yourself staring at a polished wood ceiling, the soft pillows and blankets around you made everything feel so much better. Your whole body hurts, you dont want to move nor do you want to remember. Thank goodness that someone had patched you up, you didn't want to die. You tried shifting your body but the pain in your side was denying any movement.

"Oh! You're awake thank God!" A voice called out from your side. You looked over to see the half human hafl enderman sitting in a chair by a window. "I thought you weren't gonna wake up! Tubbo and the rest if the cabinet was worried as well."

"Were you the one who patched me up?" You asked carefully.

"Yeah! Luckily I can see in that fog, so I took you away and patched you up." Ranboo smiled.

"Who- who hit me?" You asked trying to sit up again.

Ranboo paused. "Technoblade." Ranboo said in a somber tone.

"I see." You sighed.

Ranboo helped you sit back on the headboard of the bed and you two continued to talk.

"Are you mad at him?"

"Im just upset. Its okay, he said he'll kill all of us so I knew he would." You kept your gaze at you lap.

"Yeah I get it." Ranboo replied.

"I have a question ranboo!" You perked up.

"Yeah? Shoot."

"Why did you join the Butcher Gang?" You asked the taller man. He stayed silent thinking of a right answer before actually speaking.

"They were nice to me. I trust people who are nice to me, that show me kindness and treat me with respect. I know its lame, my answer isn't fully fleshed out, but that's the reason." Ranboo shrugged and you nodded.

You would love to know Ranboo more, he seems like a great guy, but he's just lost.

"Oh! I forgot! You have a letter!" Ranboo walked around the bed and brought out a folded piece of paper and handed it to you.

You unfolded it and began to read.

𝘔𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦

𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶

- 𝘋

"Execution site?" You looked towards Ranboo.

"Oh yeah! Technoblade's execution is today an-"

"How the hell did you get him?!" You interrupted him. "Im sorry."

Ranboo looked shocked before composing himself. "Dont worry! Well, we took his horse hostage and he immediately wanted to surrender if we didn't let Carl go." Ranboo gathered stuff around the room. "And the execution is today, happening in a few minutes and I need to be there. I'll be back soon to check up on you!"

You nodded and continued to listen to him.

"Are- are you coming?" Ranboo sent one last glance towards you before making his way out.

"You know you dont HAVE to go." You said trying to ease the tension.

"I know. I really do know." He sighed. "Are you sure you dont want to?"

"No, Im okay." You sent him a smile.

You had lied again. Of course you didn't want to see Technoblade get killed, but that note that was left made you go to the cave. You trudged you way up to said cave, even though the pain in your side was unbearable you continued on. Once you had gotton up to the cave, you peaked inside cautiously. You saw a man in a cloak with a familiar mask on with Technoblade's horse. You knew it was Dream.

"Hello."

"Hello Dream."

"I will cut right to the chase. Take Carl and wait here. I have other work to do." He handed you the reigns to Carl and started to leave.

"Excuse me!? What do I do? Why do I wait here?!" You yelled after him and he just waved you off.

You rolled your eyes and found a stone in the cave to rest against with Carl's reigns lazily in your hands.

You didnt know what time it was, but the sun was slowly going down, it wasn't particularly sunset, but you knew it was late. Your eyes began to close until your heard screaming in the distance. You sat up slowly, now fully alert. You held Carl's reigns tighter as you backed into the cave more and more.

Footsteps were heard in the distance coming up to the cave and you thought if Dream had set you up for failure. The footsteps grew louder until a panting Technoblade appeared at the entrance at the cave. He looked horrible, he was thinking the same thing about you.

You two exchanged no words. You didn't want to say anything, what would you even say? He rushed over to Carl and started petting him. "Carl you're okay!"

You hummed as you and Techno shared a glance. He smiled at you. He smiled at you. It's been so long since you've seen him smile. He didn't need words to communicate, his eyes and smile said enough. You matched his smile and gave him a knowing nod and he did the same.

"Feel better eh?" Technoblade started conversation.

"Not really. What about you?"

"Eh- used a totem of undying just now."

"What?! Really?" You exclaimed. "I guess that's why you're here now huh?"

"Yeah I'll tell you about it sometimes." He smiled and climbed atop of his horse and you could see him thinking. "Im sorry too. You almost died cause of me. Thats is unacceptable, I shouldn't- I shouldn't have attacked you. I couldn't-"

"You cant control it. It's gonna take me awhile to recover, but..." You touched your bandaged cut. "It'll take me some time."

Technoblade nodded knowing what you meant. He could always read your mind somehow, thats what made you two work. Knowing eachother. He sent you one last silent goodbye before riding out of the cave. You knew that trust was somewhat restored, and that you two were better than before. This might be a new beginning.

A very angry Quackity came running around the corner of the cave and spotted you leaving. He whipped his head around to you.

"Hey! Where the fuck is Techno?!" He yelled at you.

"I don't know-"

"Dont bullshit me!"

"I. Don't. Know." You said more sternly. He gave you a hard glare before running away.

You went the opposite way trying to make it back to the room you woke up in before Ranboo came back.

Earlier you were desperately trying to befriend Techno, but things come more naturally you learned. You cant rush things, nor control this world. Things will fall into place, your and Technoblade's friendship will blossom again.

You will never find peace, but that's okay. You should be used to it by now. Everything is chaotic, but everything will be okay.

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epicqtefail · 3 years

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my playthru went mostly good for a first run!! i got the good pacifist ending and it was all perfect until i accidentally got kara killed at the bus terminal 😔 BUT EVERYONE OTHERWISE WAS SAFE N SOUND. i still have to go back n keep her alive but . you know. first run im counting this a half win. as for favorite characters i Love hank. the knowledge that hes mr krabs voice sits in the back of my mind eternally but hes such a dilf it doesnt matter to me lol!! out of the main three id probably say i love connor the most, if only bc his journey w deviancy was most interesting to me!! and the decision to shoot chloe for the jericho code agonized me at the time bc i wasnt sure if wed be able to get it later (dont worry though i couldnt make myself do it in the end). ooohhh hanks shirt. it was tough but. streaky. final answer. IT LOOKED SO GOOD ON HIM COME ON THE BLUE WAS NICE!!!! but yeah that was my experience :) how was yours!!! same questions + what was your reaction to the alice plot twist? i was caught soooo off guard. and if you dont mind me asking, what were your answers for the extras survey? or some of them at least. thanks for asking about my playthru!! :)))

Karaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! oh no on my most recent playthrough i almost got Kara killed during the Jericho escape because i was eating a baked potato. she was ok though i play on easy difficulty. But yeah there are a few moments where you just have to guess which choice will have the best outcome?? Makes for a very stressful first playthrough lol

my first playthrough was predictably pacifist, deviant, happily ever after love conquers all etc but I recently did a violent one and i would recommend playing antichrist Markus at some point! it makes all the religious & philosophical symbolism SO edgy... and oh my god i was so excited for the Markus vs Connor fight but connor shows up at the WORST most tense moment so it was just like CONNOR GET OUTTA HERE!! BEGONE!!! my poor meow meows are in danger!!!!

Hank is my fave too! but pretty bold of you to imply the mr krabs thing is anything but a bonus bold of you to imply mr krabs isnt also a dilf. and Connor, of course, they come as a set. Markus was my first favourite and i tried so hard to not like connor out of pettiness like,, "i will not be endeared by this man i will not be charmed by his nasty quirky behaviour"... but i wasn't immune to connor detroit. I trash talk him a lot but i was SO proud of him at the end ;__;. like you said, his journey with deviancy is very interesting with him being one of the most emotionally expressive characters in the game(and the most self-indulgent. he's so hilariously self-indulgent) even before truly "deviating".... it is interesting that Cyberlife's influence over Connor, a being who supposedly shouldn't feel emotion, heavily depends on deliberately emotionally manipulating him into following orders... hmmmmmmmmmmm.

and god damn it!!!!!!! i thought the hippy shirt was the most obvious choice! That's what I thought Connor would choose because it's the most gaudy and showy and i imagine connor enjoys that in his own cheeky way :'') ... but now i'm imagining him picking streaky because "humans like it when clothes compliment their features. blue will bring out his eyes. this is totally relevant to my mission."

(putting the rest under here because i talk too much)

as for the Alice twist, it caught me off guard too because i made a wild guess that she might be an android when Luther kept trying to talk to Kara about it but i didn't trust that that might actually be the twist :''D .... imagine the reverse of that, imagine if one of the androids turned out to be human.. the rest of them are like "hang on a second! his LED isn't even an LED! It's one of those fruit stickers!"

and oh yeah! the Survey! I can't remember most of my exact answers and i'm not even sure i'd answer them the same if i did it again (i'm not good with Yes or No i'm a rambler (can you tell?) and i can't commit to a solid answer). I do remember saying i'd bring the pen and paper to a deserted island... you'd just find my skeleton buried under a bunch of crudely drawn dicks. What did you answer?

oooh i also remember the question on whether machines could develop consciousness and this is something i used to think about a lot but was approaching from the wrong angle. I won't ramble about it but now i am leaning towards the possibility that AI could become sentient, that anything that can learn on a unique, complex level (especially those that mimic organic human intelligence) will.. perhaps as a requirement for complicated executive control and semantic (or even subconscious emotional) enrichment... BUT BALLSY OF THE GAME TO ASK THIS WHEN IT DOESNT EVEN ATTEMPT TO ANSWER THAT ITSELF. I'm still waiting for a game that explores sentience rather than just freewill, which yeah is a symptom of sentience but not sentience itself. what do you think? anyway I'm so sorry for talking so much but thank you for giving me the opportunity to!! :'''D i'm always interested in your thoughts on this game or anything in general so don't hesitate to ramble back at me, i love it!!

#also im not sure why your ask is showing as anonymous now?? is it just doing that on my end??

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anne-white-star · 3 years

Text

Third doctor x autistic!reader

Notes : im wrighting this out my perspective as an autistic person with pdd-nos and what im going trough at the moment please enjoy reading 😊 this is a serious isue for me from time to time because i stress a lot especaly when i don't know what to do next

Words": 506

Warnings : just a break down/panic atack

Y/n was on her way to to doctor his lab the brigadier had instruct her to go and bring some papers to him.

"Good morning doctor brought you some papers from the brigadier its the notes about alien invasions"

"Ah good morning y/n thank you, tell me dear Hows everything going with you?"

"To be honest it could be better"

The doctor knew of y/n her problems and what she was going trough at the moment

"Do You want to talk about it?"

"Not right now its still to early and i don't want to start to cry already about how hopeless i feel somethimes "

"Alright but if you need to get something of your chest come to me then alright?"

"Alright i will do that thank you doctor"

Later that evening y/n was instructed to cook something, it was something really simple.... wel simple for somone who isnt struggeling with learning new things but for y/n it was a big problem, she was mid way when all of a sudden she started to shake and the tears started to fall

"Y/n Are you alright?" Jo asked looking at her friend with concern

"Jo could you please take it from here im havo an other breakdown and i know its better to stop for me now"

"Alright don't worry its fine go take a break"

"Thanks" y/n ran out the kitchen she passed the brigadier on the way, he looked at her running to the doctor his lab

The brigadier walked in to the kitchen "miss grant care to tell me why y/n ran trough the hall"

"Oh brigadier she was so distraught she said she needed a break"

"Alright thanks for telling me miss grant" of course he knew that y/n has pdd nos but he was still really proud of her for working here with everybody

Y/n opend the door to the doctor his lab but to her disapointment he wasn't there

"Doctor where are you i could really use some help"

The doctor emerged from the TARDIS "oh dear whats the matter? "

Y/n ran up to him and huged him tight, she began to shake while she cried "I had an other breakdown while i was cooking"

"Oh dear, Why did it happend? "

"I was cooking something i never made it before and later jo came in it was going good so far but then everything went down hill all of a sudden" she cried in his shoulder

"There there its alright you should be proud of your self for coming so far" he wiped her tears away "I know it isnt easy and especaly when you are alone but you really should trust yourself more, even with your disabilety you can do so mutch amazing things"

"Thank you doctor i really needed to hear that right now " she huged him

"Your welcome dear, lets check on jo" he stood up And softly grabed y/n her hand and they both went on their way

The end

I hope you enjoyed reading 😊

#doctor who #third doctor #jon pertwee #classic who #3rd doctor #classic doctor who #third doctor x reader #3rd doctor X reader #jon pertwee x reader #classic doctor who x reader #doctor who x reader #autistic reader

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fallen-in-a-forest-project-blog · 6 years

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For the tell a story thing. When I was in elementary school I had a small group of friends. It wasn't as much tight knit as it was 'the popular kids don't like us and the other kids don't either so we're stuck in the same place'. I became close friends with three of them. Then, one year two of my friends turned against the other one. They would tease her at first about her crush on a guy in our grade and then for everything and for seemingly no reason. (part 1) -K

I knew from the start it was bullying. There was no doubt about it but still, I couldn’t help myself. I was torn between my friends all of which I wanted to like me. I made a shit ton of mistakes. Sometimes I would support the girl being bullied and other times I would turn around and bully her myself. I felt my own sense of confidence falling away because how could I say I was a good person when I wasn’t? How could I say I had morals when I never acted on them.

I figured out pretty soon that I didn’t like to be terrible. Not because I wanted to be nice but because I couldn’t stand thinking that I was a bad guy. I was and I was but I didn’t want to accept it. I promised my friend who was bullied that I would never leave her and that I would stay by her side. I switched schools without warning the year after. Throughout the years since then I’ve had a habit of waking up in the middle of the night and searching her name.

I was so scared and I still am scared that she killed herself. It’s a weird sort of fear because I haven’t talked to her or seen her for years but she was in a bad state and I feel completely guilty. I was a total backstabber and rumor is she still gets bullied by them. I’ve worked myself into full panic attacks over her but I know I don’t deserve it. That sounds really weird but I don’t feel like I deserve to become a victim when what I did was so bad.

I have this habit of thinking that I don’t deserve to have a panic attack because I’m overreacting or thinking that panic attacks are a good thing. I know in the past I’ve never stopped myself because it seems like a weird way of getting attention even though it’s out of my control. It feels awful and I always feel awful about it but a weird part of me still thinks of it as forcing people to pay attention to me. Anyways, I switched schools. This was my chance to start fresh.

Boy oh boy did I start fresh. Complete makeover. Not physically but personality wise. I was going to be loud and I was going to be energetic and positive and everything that i wasn’t. I was going to be so happy it would annoy everyone. Maybe then people would like me. Some did. I didn’t consciously know it at the time but of course it was all a fake sort of mask. That year I set myself up for years upon years of mental problems.

That year instead of deciding to recognize that I disliked myself and that I didn’t like who I became, I decided to hide everything bad from not only others but also from myself. It feels weird treating the incident in elementary school like a trauma because I was the abuser, not the abused. I feel guilty more than anything else. But it still applies to me. I often wonder how much I hurt her if this hurt me that much but I try not to because I feel guilty. I shouldn’t be hurt

I shouldn’t be hurt by everything but all in all I hurt myself. In fact, I made it even worse. The more time I spent with my new personality, the less it was there. It sorta faded all through middle school until by 8th grade it was obvious. I was completely apathetic. It was hard for me to feel emotions or understand emotions or anything of that sort. The running gag was that I couldn’t feel at all and that I would hurt people because I never felt bad.

My friends would get mad at me for not caring enough about them. Really, I didn’t care much about anything. I didn’t care about my friends’ wellbeing and I was a bad friend. I didn’t care about teachers. I only cared about grades because it’s the one thing I can do. If I focus hard enough on schoolwork, nobody will worry about me. If I have good grades I must be fine. I buried myself in homework and research and school.

Then I had a big fight with one of my closer friends. He called me a monster. Said I was an apathetic bitch. A robot. Nothing. Inhuman. That’s the first time anything ever really reached me. I had brushed everything off but that. That struck me. I locked myself in my bathroom and cried in the bath tub for hours. Then I decided I needed to change. I just didn’t know how. There’s no help for people who have hurt others. I thought I didn’t deserve help. All I do is hurt people.

That year I got involved into musicals. This is going to sound super duper stupid but that’s what really got me out of this jam. Through my musicals, I found internet friends. A group of 7. Some of the best people I’ve ever met. I also realized some things regarding the musical. The character I connected most with was a main character but a blatantly bad person. He makes mistakes and does bad things but in the end he is forgiven. People like him. It gave me hope.

Around this time, I actually started to remember the events in elementary school. The same part of me that pushed away my emotions also pushed away the events and as soon as I excepted some of the feelings I got the memories. They were completely repressed and it was weird to experience them again. That summer I had more breakdowns than I have ever had in such a small period of time. But, coming out of it, I was a better person. I was nicer. I cared. I felt.

Of course it can’t just end there. That was the summer before 9th grade. I would now be going to a school with new people and new things. I didn’t really consider it before but being suddenly vulnerable wasn’t the best idea. Sure I felt great at the end of summer but by fall I kept getting let down. Sure, highschoolers aren’t the best of people. In the past I always found it easy to make friends, here I had none. I felt almost abandoned.

My crush, who was one of my only sorta-friends and another of my almost-friends started dating. They left me and I felt even more alone than before. I was crushed and fell into my first real bought of depression. I didn’t recognize it at the time but I knew something was very wrong. It was like my long history of apathy but in addition to apathy I also felt wrong and bad. I didn’t only feel nothing but I felt empty. I hated the feelings. That’s when I met my ex.

My ex was nice. He was a friend to me and it was good to know someone was by my side. He helped me get out of my depression rut, at least for a while. I asked him out because I knew he liked me. I didn’t actually like him but I felt bad and I knew our friendship would be over either way. He said yes. We dated for a month and I tried and tried to convince myself I loved him but the fact was I didn’t I just didn’t, and there was nothing I could do. I was depressed again.

I broke up with him after a lot of tossing and turning. It was so bad I couldn’t study for exams. I was crushed. That’s when another of my friends came in. He told me that what I was feeling was depression. He encouraged me to seek help. He was the best of friends and we got so close but I started developing feelings for him. I thought it would ruin things but he had liked me for a long time. We started dating. Let’s just say I’m not very good at this dating thing.

It was amazing for months. We lasted all the way until the end of the school year. However, in the place of depression I developed anxiety. It started as little things but soon I was thrown into nausea by only a text and panic by the lack of one. We communicated and things were working. Until he stopped texting. Or calling. Or picking up my calls or reading me texts and I never saw him in person. He basically disappeared but only to me, not mutual friends.

Before he ghosted me things were breaking down. I got untrustworthy and he lied to me a few times. He blamed my anxiety for making me paranoia. I blamed myself for ruining things. Then he left and for the whole month I blamed myself. It was my fault he didn’t want to talk to me I was just too much work. I was miserable. My friends advised me to break up with him. I waited but he never came back. I finally broke up with him. It was like a weight off my shoulders.

I was uncertain. I was not only anxious and a little depressed but now I had trust issues and a lot more self hate than I started with. Since then the anxiety hasn’t gone away and neither have the trust issues and sometimes I still lie awake freaking out about how nobody will ever love me and how I’ll never be good enough or pretty enough. I still dissociate. Through the whole time I’ve also had issues with apathy. If I got too anxious I shut down completely.

I do hate it sometimes. It’s hard to know that one look in the mirror can make me dissociate and that I can’t go back in time and fix my mistakes. But hopefully things will get better. I have hope that things will get better. Maybe I won’t ever get over what i’ve done but people can change. I can change. I can be better. So thank you. Thanks for letting me share my story and for giving me hope.

-K

—————————

(hope its okay i put it all together as one long message)

Its crazy how one thing in middle school can go on and snowball bigger and bigger. Same thing happened to me, where i would hang out with a couple of toxic friends and now it has developed me being super insecure about everything i do.

Im happy and proud that you are getting hopefull and better! I really hope that continues. Thank you so much for sharing this and have a good day!

Sincerly, mod Sana

————————-

#Tell me your story is chance for you to share your struggles or life story. Basically, it’s a way to find and read about other people going through some struggles in life, sometimes struggles alike to what you are going through. If you want to read more about it or to send us your story click here.

#Tell me your story fallen in a forest project #Tell me your story #falleninaforest #Fallen in a forest project #letters #mental illness #depression #anxiety mention #dissociating

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

Text

This was one of my favorite...

I went in and asked "where do you keep your back stock? You know when you get extra shipping?"

I flashed my CIA Badge and provided a "search warrant" "just so you know that's a licence to sue if you compromise my investigation of NYC streets and suburbs"

"Oh here let me show you" dude was too enthusiastic. I was sure i was gonna die.

But nope. Same as you seen here. Just stock room.

"But i do have a secret to show you. What's behind door number two?"

"A heart attack, thank you."

"No! An employee lounge!!"

"Cool let's get outta here"

Upstairs in the street i notified agent sart "his employeee lounge is going to have you show exactly how and where he gets in. Its behind the microwave"

We went in the back alley past the parking garage the kids were in...

To the right a downstairs attic... The factory bunker. "Let sabrina in. Show us how far it is" it wasn't even hidden a trash can stood in front same as for the employees lounge. A gray plastic barrel one.

The question remained was how many trash cans did that establishment have?

We did 3 weeks of investigation and research after the CIA did 9 months of surveillance.

Turns out it was human trafficking after all

But the store front owners didn't have a clue.

I kept going to that enthusiastic poor man and did all sort of shit to him to trick him out.

Finally he kicked me out and wouldn't let me return because he had a soulmate wife

So he was arrested and we searched and searched. There was no evidence at all he was committed into the crime life.

We gave him $15m in 1989 to further his career in enthusiasm and love.

But first I called his wife and had her meet me. I told her "your husband beat me up that is why he was arrested. Im sorry for keeping you away for the last three weeks. We arrested you as a decoy. And I want you to see this video of how and why your husband beat this investigation to death and why he was arrested"

He literally broke my nose for kissing his lips and using my finger to pull his jaw down to a Frenchie.

"YOU BITCH!!!" she jumped up.

"No!! TV!!"

"What?"

"He broke my eye socket, too!!"

"I hate her i want her dead"

"Quick throw money at her!" I ran to our secret stash of bolted cash. Opened the tool box and ripped the cash bands and started hauling thousands of dollars at her head.

"This is candid camera isn't it? I bet that isn't my husband"

"Oh!! But that is!!!!"

"SHES STILL HERE?!?!"

Between me and that woman i kept social distancing!!! Not just space mind you but racks of her merchandise or my huge body guards I had then at that time. Both if i could.

Turns out she didn't care about her merchandise with all that cash. "Big mistake!!"

"Oh you! He told me you had a small wedding and you couldn't afford the luxury! Ill pay you MORE if you please stop attacking me and you're forgetting the important issue! Your husband is out of jail and so are you!! Im with the CIA and I'm very sorry we let us do this to you"

So she greeted her man and said "i want them all out"

We went into the street. And she invited the biggest and "meanest" guard in Shaquille O'Neal, because she saw i hid behund him most and he couldn't help but smile and wasn't a complete threat to anyone.

"Okay but hold my hand"

"She knows the rules no further threat to her than a woman scorned."

I was literally shaking from head to toe. If they had a bad trick up their sleeves i was dead meat.

"I just want to thank you for showing me what a great man i own. Someone who would defend me against a girl by nearly beating her to death and then not saying anything so i don't worry he will be arrested. And further more. Me as a wife and not just me as a store owner am very proud how much money he was offered to become a complete criminal and he turned it down for the good of mankind. Thank you for showing me that. That I. I lowly ole me has a real life and true super hero"

She walked over to me and gently squeezed my nose "you are a clown. Now give me a hug"

**we tried to get him to be bought because he was the only store that wasn't into the scheme. So we really bent at him.

So we closed his shopping center down. The stores all around him. Asked them what they wanted nearby. Restaurants where they could eat. Clothes store. Grocery.

So the CIA opened all those store fronts he requested. And gave him a 75% open air discount if he ate in his store. 32% on clothes and luxury. 99% on his food from the bodega.

Plus $15M as an apology for arresting him.

$12,999.99 for a real NYC wedding. "You throw in the penny so you know your love will keep your marriage from ever being cursed"

They did.

I'm glad to see them opening eyes on how dangerous and easy it is to be abducted while shopping.

Alive and well I hope they are. They seem to be doing fine.

He was and is the Captain America you see in,this short film above.

He's less skinny than he used to be. But happy and enthusiasm I see hasn't left the lead.

So when you watch the Captain America he starred in. Remember and know. He is a true life hero.

I guarantee he can beat the shit outta anyone. Trust me so can his wife.

I wasn't scared cause I was playing. I knew i could die and so could Shaq. Alone that would been on me. But my son-in-law? That is why i was scared.

No money in the world was enough money for an apology to Queen Elizabeth the 2nd for accidentally getting her soulmate killed.

Every day hero. Captain America is.

They, too, had a miscarriage. Years and years before. Before i got enlisted on that band wagon.

2 almost 3 years later after they were ghosted into oblivion i went to visit and saw these beautiful twins playing hide and go seek... Or so i thought. But they were just reinacting the scene from her mother and I.

"My favorite movie" she's always said. "And you know. I didn't even have to give birth, also my favorite part"

"Shit I thought you were kidding me!!"

"Yeah you got called out to war and missed the special ending of our wedding"

"Oh my God how beautiful"

"Here let me show you. We got the video just in. Finally after all these years. And we have you to thank for it"

"Yeah I've been suicidal"

"And now you aren't but wait there's more!"

"Oh but how could there be?! Im so happy!"

"Sarina and Sarenity that are their names and our third child" she handed me an ultrasound "that is Gabraella. Oh and I thought I should match you with your soulmate. Gaberel. He will be going with yoh to South Texas. We need to get you out of this city where you'll be much safer. We thought we should be the ones to break the news to you. Now you're father. Your uncle, hasn't agreed yet and we have waited a week to inform you That you must go. He keeps asking you if you want to and you keep saying no but here's what he doesn't know and what you should be informed about before you make your actual decision. You're not going to die in South Texas but your chances of not surviving NYC are the highest they have ever been..."

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