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stormblessed95 · 2 years

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Hi!!! It’s me again. I hope your having a great day. As our resident BTSpedia I’m hoping you can tell me where to look cause I’ve been on YouTube and it didn’t help. Also this isn’t Jikook related.

I became army after the HYYH period. Everyone is extremely excited and I’m happy to be able to see it for myself. My confusion is why do they say it’s gay and they hope Yoonkook have a happy ending? I’ve watched what I can on YouTube to try and tie the moments and videos together, but I may be missing some things.

Do you happen to know why they call it this and where I may be able to get a full picture? Thank you!!!!

This is, in part, asking the impossible. Because you will likely get a different interpretation of the story with every person you ask. Plus there is so much and it's confusing no matter what. Lol So like everything else, it's best to dive into it all and draw your own conclusions. So I'll do a general overview of it all and then I'll get into why a lot of people, but especially the queer community, thinks it's gay. This is going to be an incredibly long post probably, so I apologize in advance lol. But I know I have a lot of baby armys on this blog too, so if yall are interested, hopefully this helps!

To start, it's always important to remind people that this is fictional. None of their relationships within this storyline or the things that they've gone through/did is an accurate portrayal of their real lives. Even if some things link up (like them all loving each other lots etc) they are playing characters, characters with their own names, but characters still. If we want to relate it to real life at all, the only thing we could do is possibly have an interesting discussion over the homoromantic themes BH included in this storyline full of trauma, angst, love and friendship and why they did that. Lol the general overall theme of this storyline though seems to be that SeokJin time travels in his efforts to save the other members, from outside forces and/or from themselves. As well as the overarching themes of the importance of friendships, etc.

So basically I'm going to go ahead and start this post off with a list of the videos, notes, webtoons, etc included in the hyyh BU storyline that you would need to watch/read in to get the best understanding of the story. As well as go ahead and tell you that the pairings are worth paying attention to. Which would be yoonkook, taejoon, jihope and then Jin is our main character basically. So yes, if you were just watching the videos, you definitely missed major chunks of the storyline. Also worth noting, the storyline can contain trigger warnings for violence, mental and physical abuse, suicide, suicidal thoughts, substance abuse, homicide, and parental neglect. So just make sure you are good with all that before really digging into it.

The list, including links, in order of release:

BTS Begins Concert VCR

I Need U (original 19+ MV)

HYYH On Stage Prologue Video

Run MV

I Need U Japan MV

Run Japan MV

Epilogue Young Forever MV

Short Films 1 - 7 (Begin, Lie, Stigma, First Love, Reflection, Mama, Awake)

Blood Sweat and Tears MV

Blood Sweat and Tears Japan MV

The Wings Concept Book

Testesso "Smeraldo" Flower Shop Blog

Love Yourself Poster Translations

HYYH the Notes: Seokjin Translation

Highlight Reel: '起承轉結'

HYYH the Notes: Her

Euphoria: Theme of LY Wonder

HYYH the Notes: Jungkook Translation

Fake Love Teaser 1

Fake Love Extended Edition MV

HYYH the Notes: Tear

HYYH the Notes: Seokjin Translation

Comeback Trailer: Epiphany

HYYH the Notes: Answer

Smeraldo Books Twitter Account

Save Me Webtoon (15 episodes)

HYYH the Notes Book 1

HYYH the Notes: Persona

Game Concept Trailer

HYYH the Notes: 7

HYYH the Notes Book 2

BTS Universe Story Game

Some extra context, for the Testesso Smeraldo flower shop blog, this was started and found by ARMY after Seokjin tweeted out a photo with Smeraldo Flowers a couple days before the Love Yourself Era was introduced in 2017. It's a naver blog that is run by the owner of the fictional smeraldo flower shop that Jin encounters in the storyline. The blog basically describes the history of the flower leading up to the shops opening. None of the BU characters are named in the blog, but there are lots of hints pointing towards Seokjin being the customer that is described in multiple posts. The blog also has only been active and updating recently whenever BTS is having a comeback and starting a new era. The mentioned dates of the flower shop alleged openings have always been at the same time as BTS ends up announcing for their comeback. And the Smeraldo Books Twitter account was first opened with the introduction of the Save Me Webtoon Tweet. And has since posted notes for books 1 and 2, which contained all previous notes as well as unseen and updated ones too. And something to keep in mind as you read the notes too, each album seems to be a new timeline taking place and time leaps happening. So pay attention to the dates at the top of each of the notes.

There are many many many theories out there over wtf is even happening in this storyline. But there are a few key plot points that are "canon" and the theories are built around those. Basically the story starts with the boys all meeting and becoming friends in high-school, in the fictional world year 19. We see them meet in BTS Begins VCR, they got in trouble for being late and punished by needing to clean up an old storage classroom. They ended up becoming friends and using this classroom as a hideout and that is the start of the story. They fall apart a bit as adults.

A really good general story overview and theory of the storyline is done by Xceleste, which you can watch here if you want too

youtube

So since Celeste does a good job at talking about overall story plots and theories as well as pointing out things that are confirmed facts, etc. I'll just assume we all understand what's happening in the story and just talk about what things made some people think it's gay. In particular with yoonkook. Yoongi in the BU has some pretty severe attachment issues stemming from trauma. He does not want to be emotionally attached to anyone again. We see this in the notes when he is watching JK cry while playing the paino. JK himself having issues with fear of abandonment, self harm and suicide attempts (or successes depending on what timeline you are in). JK wanted someone to love him throughout his life while Yoongi was afraid of loving someone. He thought he wouldn't be able to protect Jungkook.

"I didn't want to be important for someone. I wasn't sure I could protect that someone till the end. I wasn't confident I could stand by that someone till the end. I didn't want to hurt that someone. I didn't want to get hurt" - Yoongi, The Notes, after finding JK playing the piano.

They often ended up meeting in this storage room to play piano and create music. Yoongi sharing that part of himself with JK. Despite him not wanting to care, it's clear he does when he steps in to protect JK from a teacher when they get caught in the storage room. Yoongi ends up expelled from the school and disappears. Yoonkook don't see each other again for like another 2 years. When I say this is angsty and traumatic 😭 its giving first love you never get over vibes

Begin short film had many things burning (which is a Yoongi connection), it starts off with JK calling Hyung and has him holding a painted portrait of Yoongi as well. In Yoongis First Love short film, we see him break into a shop to play the piano again for the first time in a long time, since giving up music after he got expelled. The piano ends up burning.. In the notes, Yoongi hears his song and runs finding JK who had broken into the shop to play the piano. Them meeting again for the first time in 2 years. We see the car speed past Yoongi in First Love, and in the notes we know that it's JK playing the piano he heard before the car almost hits him in an alternate timeline.

From the Save Me Webtoon, we can assume that this meeting again after he finds JK at the piano didn't go well. Yoongi rejects JK, telling him to just go. Which ended up with Yoongi in bed alone, horribly sad and running his hand over the empty spot in bed next to him. Missing someone. Missing JK? JKs shirt is also left with Yoongi in the motel room. And in making films, Yoongi talks about how for acting in this scene, he is sad from a break up.

In other timelines both yoonkook have attempted (and in the failed timelines, they succeed) suicides. Yoongi tries to commit suicide by fire, similar to his mother. After multiple attempts to save him, Seokjin realizes that just like Yoongi was the only one who could save Jungkook from jumping off the roof, JK is the only one who can save Yoongi.

"My last sight of this world was this dirty, isolated room, the red-hot flames and rolling heat, and JK's twisted face." - Yoongi, the notes, after he sets fire to his room and JK saves him

In the highlight reels after JKs car accident, he seems to make a friend to help him through his recovery in another girl at the hospital, but thinks of Yoongi often. Yoongi seems to have tried moving on, but not very well. He is either in a relationship with or good friends with another girl, but never seems super happy there. His breaking point being when he got a text about JK being in an accident but couldn't bring himself to go into his hospital room. Hoesok even bringing up that he should go see JK, "don't you know what you mean to him?" Being the exact quote he used that we see in the notes. Yoongi struggling to go see him because he felt that anyone close to him was bound to be hurt. When the girl Yoongi was with ends up playing at the hospital, JK recognized the music as the song he used to play with Yoongi in the storage room, and his lighter with Yoongi's initials hanging on her guitar. All his flashbacks were the softest scenes, honestly. And JK seemed to think of them so fondly. And in the behind the scenes that was filmed for those flashbacks, they were very awkward talking about the scenes they filmed and kept reiterating that it's not them in real life. Lmao which really lends to the theory they were playing boyfriends and knew the romantic undertones in these scenes playing out and what it looked like. "Complaining that they had to act like good friends" yes editors, "good friends." 🤣😅 The clip here:

Essentially with yoonkook, it was a lot of moments interlaced within their story and the way they talked to each other/about each other that really made it clear they were VERY important to each other, more so than the relationships they had within the group setting, which those were clearly important enough to time travel for. Lol the way their story interconnects in so many little ways with romantic undertones through all the interactions. A lot of people theorized that the piano in some ways represented JK in this storyline for Yoongi, making JK his first love as well along with music. The piano played when JK is around and stopped when he got into his accident. Yoongi getting up early with JK at the sea before everyone else to sit with arms around each other, smiling and gazing out to sea. JK giving Yoongi flowers in the Euphoria timeline video. They fight in Run over Yoongi breaking a promise to JK, theorized that the promise was to live. Resulting in Yoongi smashing a mirror with Blue Roses in its reflection, which is a flower that symbolizes unattainable love.

This is already insanely long, the main or most obvious "couple" in the BU was clearly yoonkook, but I think that there is a good argument to be made that Jihope and TaeJoon were also or had the potential to be more than just friends. Yoonkook is canon though, argue with the wall 😂

In high-school, Hoseok would walk Jimin home all the time, even though it was a really long way out of his way. They would dance together. We see videos of Jimin filming Hobi with the fondest smile on his face while he dances. He filmed Hobis dance partner too, which we learn is because Jimin wanted to be the perfect dance partner for Hoseok one day. Hoseok was also the one who took Jimin to the hospital the first time after his seizure before they didn't see each other again for 2 years. When they were both in the hospital, Hoseok slipped on the stairs and Jimin saves him. In both their short story films (Lie and Mama) we see similar situations and connections between the hospitals. We see Jimin continually look to the bed next to him, where Hoseok used to be, missing him. We see in Euphoria how Hoseok brings everyone together to help encourage Jimin to leave with them, to save Jimin from himself. Taking Jimin back home to stay at his house too. We even get in the behind the scenes for some of this footage of them in the hospital, when pretending to be in character during the scene where Jimin saves Jhope on the stairs, he calls Jhope "honey."

Plus we are getting quotes like during Hoseoks efforts to help Jimin in the hospital and help him escape.

"He reached for my hand..."

"Jimin, I'll come back for you"

"Hoseok said he would carry you on his back if he could"

And while Hoseok was watching Jimin dancing, he said "mistakes I saw during the practice approached me differently now. The small mistakes and amateurishness actually gave a unique wave. Jimin was different from me but he had his own timing, his own style of expressing. Jimin was shining and dancing in a way that moves people's hearts."

I'm just saying, they were very "I love you, let's live for each other" type of vibes.

Hyyh TaeJoon were basically the "be gay do crime" definition. Lol the tension in that loaded look between them as they got arrested. Like WOW okay. Plus, when Tae needed help, Namjoon was the first and only person he called. And always continues to think to call him first whenever he is in trouble. Literally placing all his faith and trust into Namjoon for a lot of things. Tae seemed to be one of the first to split off on his own. He found a new criminal friend, Namjoon seemed to have an interest in another girl for a while, but a lot seemed to stem from finding similarities of himself in her. They reconnected again in jail or in regards to being arrested (be gay do crime) later in the various timelines and quickly seem to be close again. We see similarities in their short Films as well, with the phone connections. Things or places or themselves being locked up/unreachable. We also see a lot of mirrored images through the MVs of moments that Taejoon were in together, to Tae being in alone. Alluding to feelings of lose and loneliness as well. Always again, saving each other. Looking out for each other, spending time together.

And we get quotes like this from Namjoon about Tae:

"And I asked myself: Do I believe Taehyung? And the answer was always the same."

"I feel like I'm losing my mind whenever I see him smile like that"

And from Tae about Namjoon:

"Can I stay here with you?"

"He held out his hand. I just kept looking up at him. His hand was warm."

Plus then we have the behinds where they say the scene they are filming is romantic and they are on a date, with Joon laying on Tae's arm 😅😂 idk what else to say about that. Lmfao

Basically HYYH BU is angsty trauma filled depression, queer youth found family with pillow fights, all the elements, and lots of flannel. And trauma. Trauma should be in this list 8 times. So much yearning and angst and hurt and trauma 😭 and now with Yet to Come being tagged "the most beautiful moment in life" aka HYYH, people are speculating that maybe we will finally get a conclusion to the BU storyline and everyone just wants a happy ending please. Lol there is honestly a lot more we could dig into to talk about symbolism and different motifs used. And all the potential queer coding happening, intentional or accidental. I know I definitely focused mostly on yoonkook here, but they really had the most going on. Like for real and the most angsty yearning codependency while being avoidant tendencies. Lol

Again, this is ALL FICTIONAL. THEY ARE ACTING AND PLAYING CHARACTERS. Lol please don't take any of this and translate it into real life relationships or scenarios. And again, this is mostly all theory too. So you can also go through and read all the stories (the notes books are still available for purchase on weverse) and decide for yourself what you think is happening. And it's okay to be confused. I'm still a little confused honestly too. Lol thanks for the ask. Sorry this is a whole ass essay and it took me so long! 💜

#my thoughts over hyyh and why is it gay

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dangermousie · 3 years

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I’ve watched my first ever cdrama, The Untamed. I am so obsessed and loving it so much!!! I was thinking that I can never get over the ugly wigs and voice dubbing and start watching a Chinese feudal fantasy show, but once I got passed the first two episodes, I was not able to watch anything else, I have already watched it twice and don’t know what to do anymore 🤧 Are the other fantasy cdramas this beautiful? What other cdramas do you recommend watching?

Ooooooh, you have excellent taste, Anon!

And yes, there are plenty of fantasy cdramas even more beautiful since The Untamed was made on a relatively shoestring budget (which they did wonderful things with but still...)

If you want a MM romance, if the rumors that China is about to ban them are not true, the upcoming Immortality, Winner Is King, and League of Noblemen will probably meet your requirements.

The ones that are out that are (a) fantasy (b) beautiful (c ) super recommended in my subjective view are, in no order:

Novoland Eagle Flag. This is my second most favorite cdrama of all time, and is an epic fantasy. It follows three protagonists - a cursed prince of a barbarian kingdom, a bastard warrior son of a minor plains nobleman, and a princess in exile of winged people. The three become best friends and the narrative follows them separately and together. There are two amazing het OTPs (Warrior x Princess, Cursed Prince x Emperor’s sister) and the bromance between the two male leads is epic. If you get your slash goggles on, you can certainly view it that way. This drama is smart, emotionally moving, and so visually beautiful, I have no words. If you don’t mind spoilers, check out my “novoland eagle flag” tag.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/N-i0xTgEzxQ

Joy of Life. This one is amazing. They are filming second season now so if you mind cliffhanger ending stay away. Otherwise! Our protagonist is a man who was dying but woke up in the body of a fake dynasty (or is it? spoilers!) infant and has to navigate his way once he grows up. It’s really hard to explain and it takes a few episodes to get going but it was one of the most popular/best reviewed dramas of 2019 for a reason. It’s funny, moving, fiercely smart, everything. Once again, I have a tag for it. Bonus - Xiao Zhan, the lead of The Untamed, is in this one as a character who shows up only near the end but is awesome.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/8D5AyJAXqiE

Legend of Fuyao. Our heroine is seemingly a servant but has special powers that may end the world. Hero is the Crown Prince who is supposed to destroy her but well...the OTP is epic, the visuals beautiful, the story great, multiple OTPs actually. It’s wonderful. I have a tag.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/T_2a9QsolKo

Goodbye My Princess. Visually insane. Our heroine is a princess of a fictional kingdom who is loving and happy. Her paths cross with a prince of a neighboring kingdom who wants to use her to infiltrate her grandfather’s stronghold and take over; he falls in love with her for real but won’t stop. Basically, what happens when Disney Princess meets Game of Thrones Prince. Only if you love tragedies and heroes who are antiheroes at best. Our ML loves her more than his own life, but not more than his revenge, and that is his tragedy and hers. I have a tag for this of course.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/5PI2bO6lfcU

Three Lives Three Worlds Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms (Eternal Love on netflix). Starts really slow imo but then makes up for it and then some. Very high fantasy. Our heroine is a goddess who eventually has an epic and tragic and some more epic love with basically the crown prince of heavenly kingdom. I have a tag for this as three lives three worlds ten miles of peach blossoms.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/xqXG4NaoLSE

Love and Redemption. Our heroine is a mortal reincarnation of the God of War, on her last human trial to let go of hate and discover love - she failed all the last ones and if she fails this one, she’s done. Our hero is someone who has loved her through all the past lifetimes, and has reincarnated with her every time. This time he’s a disciple of a demon sect that is forbidden to love and she is born lacking feelings and emotions. This one is gorgeous, the chemistry is unreal, it’s somehow incredibly queer despite the het OTP (spoilers!) and just awesome. Also hope you like whump because there is plenty. I have a tag for this of course.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/HkS_XhQNBYQ

Ever Night. With the caveat that only the first season is amazing. They changed out much of the cast (including their lead) for s2 and script was bad. Season 1 is amazing though, and follows two seemingly no-name orphans - the sole survivor of a general’s household and his attendant who he dug out of a pile of corpses when he was four and she was a baby; our ML may or may not be the prophesied child of the King of Hell who may end the world. I rec watching first season and then reading the novel it’s based on (it’s a very faithful adaptation.) Also, get you a man who loves you the way Nng Que loves Sang Sang. I have a tag for it of course.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/pES3vx7VBPc

The below two only qualify because they are set in fantasy kingdoms but hey, whatever.

The currently airing Rebel Princess - our heroine is a favored daughter of royal family who is arrange-married to a general (who she falls for) and ends up drawn in the games of power. Gorgeous, amazing acting, and Zhang Ziyi. Might become my favorite cdrama ever. I have a tag for it.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/68-iAyBG4wQ

General and I. Heroine is a strategist and hero a general for enemy kingdom. Beautiful and shippy and kinda romance novely but in the best way. Got a tag for it.

Trailer: https://youtu.be/Xf71U6vZzs8

OK, this one is purely historical/since of life, but I am just going to mention The Story of Minglan. It’s as if Elizabeth Gaskell did a Chinese drama. So smart and emotional and real and detailed. It’s my favorite drama of all time from anywhere. But not fantasy.

Gonna stop now.

#cdrama #asks #story of minglan #rebel princess #legend of fuyao #general and i #ever night #three lives three worlds the pillow book #novoland eagle flag #goodbye my princess #joy of life #love and redemption

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 3 years

Text

PR stunt relationships - ɟ

🎶🎶 Guess who’s back, back, back? Back again, gain, gain 🎶🎶

Heeello, my babies! 🥰 How are you? I hope you’re all fine and that you’re staying strong since, as we knew and expected, they’re literally attacking us every day with these PRs. And today’s topic is precisely about this. PR-stunt relationships.

What do I know about- What do I know about love? Nothing. And that’s why it’s everything. Sorry, I had to 😅🤣. Shout-out to ‘What Do I Know About Love?’ by CC. No but, seriously tho. What do I know about a PR stunt relationship? Again, I’m not an expert on the subject. I know as much as you do, plus, maybe a little bit more due to my research over the years.

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

PR stunt relationship, also known as PRomance, showmance, fauxmance (👈🏽 cover for celebrities who are both queer), and also as 🤫😂 ‘extremely camera-ready relationship’. I can personally define a PR as a work of persuasion. Picture PR people as shapers, as narrators, as storytellers, because that’s what they do. Whether it’s for protection, or to build or rebuild an image, or simply for promotion, they analyze the situation in order to create the best publicity/narrative/farce that benefits their client. They each have their own vision. Each of them has a plan that they sometimes tend to repeat with other clients because it works. Take as an example our friend Scooby Doo Sc**ter (Br**n), who is making it increasingly normal and common for his clients to use engagement rings as narratives.

A PR stunt relationship is nothing more than a PUBLICITY STUNT, as the word itself implies, aimed to get people and media attention. Publicists and celebrity management managers set up a fake public relationship to make fans and the general public believe it’s true. To give the couple more credibility, also friends, family, and artists friends of the couple get involved many times. To give you a practical example, let’s take PRen Tyren. They were at least 80% involved in each other’s lives.

Think about their birthdays and all the friends and families involved. Think about when Tymber even went to Graciela’s birthday, L’s great grandmother. Think about Tyres and brother Jauregui (who even made a song out of it with him). Think about L and Angel Gold (his sister). Think about L and Jailynn (his daughter). Think about The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, aka Tyren and, I think they were called Galsey? (Halsey and G-Eazy). Think even about Dinah who was part of the PR. I mean, you got it, right?

This type of business, whether involves the music industry, the film industry, the sports industry, etc., works this way for EVERYONE. They get at the same goal but with different tactics for each individual person, and they give a damn if in the meantime the person, their client, is bullied, or hated, or if they receive death threats, or if they start having anxiety problems, panic attacks, mental or physical health problems, etc. They don’t give a shit about their well-being in general. It’s just business to them. They’re just money with two legs. Can you picture a rolled-up dollar with two legs, can’t you? Good, because that’s what they are. Products. Products to sell.

There’s a very strict contract that both parties have to mutually agree on, and this contract is called a relationship contract. A relationship contract is a legally binding document for the duration of at least one year. It’s very VERY own custom-made because they write down what do they want to happen, then the duration (which can be extended) and the termination, and all the other things that each of them wants to include. The duration of a contract obviously varies from person to person and can depend on many things. But the main thing is that, it depends on the type of goal they want to achieve thanks to it.

For example, if the purpose is purely publicizing, such as the promotion of an album, or a movie, or whatever else, the relationship will last only for the necessary time that it takes to increase the interest of the public and indeed, to publicize the project. Another example could be when they want to hide the sexuality of one of the two people in the couple or both. Here, the duration of the contract could reach up to years, and could even lead to fake marriages.

We have examples of people who have done this to promote movies/sagas/franchises: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens. We have examples of people who have done this to promote TV series: Blake Lively and Penn Badgley, Lili Reinhart and Cole Sprouse, Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush. We have examples of people who have done this to hide their true sexuality: Ricky Martin & Rebecca De Alba (for 17 motherfucking years), TS and.. and-and-and EVERYONE. We have examples of people who have done this to increase their notoriety, but then fell in love for real despite being super toxic for each other: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. We even have examples of real couples who have been asked to go public to boost ratings and publicize their show more than it already was per se: Lea Michele and Cory Monteith. [Yes, my friends, even real couples do PR stuff for publicity purposes]

Celebs fake relationships for profits. Profits such as more fame, more fans, more acquaintances, whether they were made together or thanks to or of the ‘partner’ themselves based also on the industry fields to which they are part, more freedom in other aspects of their life, both work and private, etc., and of course, money. The money profit received varies. It varies according to the duration (especially if they’re many years), to what they’re supposed to do, such as how many times they’re forced to kiss (yes, guys, that also counts), to the amount of time they have to spend together, aka being seen together, etc. It also and above all vary, based on how famous they are, or if one of them is not famous at all, or if one of them is more famous than the other. It’s obvious that the more famous the person is, the more money they receive. Both parties benefit from it, but the person who ACCEPTED to do the PR is obviously paid more also based on the notoriety they have as I told you. Here we start with a minimum of $5,000 received per month. The figure can also reach disproportionate numbers with five/six zeros per year.

It’s enough to think that 75/80% of all famous couples are fake. They gain more attention and ultimately, more money, and at the same time, fans and GP can witness an exciting ‘love story’ filled with drama, gossip, rumors, mysteries, and if they decide to end their story on a negative note, even with the possible and eventual shade-throwing which in turn leads to more attention, more gossip, etc., etc. Exactly how the teams on both sides wanted. You have to keep in mind that teams have the power in this case. It’s the PR teams who hold the power over the media to control the narrative, and not the other way around.

There are also many factors involved to keep in mind. People involved. We have friends, parents, paparazzi, and all those other people the celeb team involves to make the story look as believable as possible. For example, you know when the media say it was a source who gave them the news? Well, that’s the truth. Think about it. Those sources and those insiders are really insiders because they’re part of the team. They are those people who work for them and who release information, whether true or fake, to follow the narrative decided for the plan. Speaking instead of another topic that I’ve noticed in many asks. Paparazzi.

I don’t know if you know how paparazzi usually work, but especially the old-fashioned stalker type ones, are not known to hold back, in fact, on the contrary, they go way too far beyond the limits. Some of them know where the celebrities might be based on how popular the location is (clubs, restaurants, etc., where celebs often go), or other times, they’re called by waiters, valets, drivers, etc., etc. It’s a pretty aggressive and competitive industry, and paparazzi do everything they can to get images of famous people to sell to a newspaper or a magazine or on Instagram. There are differences between those in the US, those in Europe, etc. Many are also easy to control since eight times out of ten, it’s an organized thing.

As we well know, most of the time, the paparazzi are told where to be and when, probably by the celebrity’s PR agency itself. It’s ALL for publicity. Publicity of any kind. To promote a movie if it’s an actor, to promote an album if it’s a singer, to be noticed if that person’s project was a flop, for fake relationships or to ‘cover’ the real ones if one of the two is in a relationship that is not seen in a good light and therefore doesn’t suit the public eye, or if one of the two or both of them are queer. Seriously, for everything. And so they have paparazzi following them around so it looks like they’re more popular than they actually are, and the celebrities who make me laugh the most are those who, after calling them, act like the paparazzi were following them everywhere, some even getting angry and taking it out on them.

But it must also be said that celebrities who really don’t want the paparazzi’s attention, make sure that this doesn’t happen. Unlike the ones who want them and even have them called. There are many celebrities who want their pictures taken because, as we also know, any publicity is good publicity. These celebrities know how it works and not only accept that the paparazzi are part of the business, but use them as a tool for their publicity. It’s just business for them and a new opportunity to look good in magazines. They want to be in control of their image and in this way, they have it.

Also, some brands pay celebs to wear their clothing or accessories while out and about, and those staged shots that look like candid of a celebrity leaving a restaurant or a store, actually have multiple purposes, namely: celebrity endorsement of the product, big check for the celebrity for wearing the item, collaboration between the celebrity and paparazzi to get nice shots that look natural and random from which the celebrity then selects the ones they prefers, and image sales for the paparazzi agency. Everyone gets paid and everyone is happy.

Another thing to take into consideration? Depending on the celebrity’s profession, even their own contracts. In the sense that most of their contracts involve fake relationships. It also depends on the image that the celeb has and whether they’re trying to hide their sexuality. From this, their contracts can include a minimum of two PRs, or five, or eight, or even one that lasts for many years. They can also state that the same person with whom the celebrity has already had a PR in the past, may be again in the future. I’ll give you a practical example.

Imagine yourselves and a friend as a celebrity, okay? You guys are singers and your friend is an actor. You’ve just signed a 3-album deal lasting 5 years (meaning you have 5 years to complete and release 3 albums), and your friend an 8-year movie saga contract (let’s imagine 3 movies). Now let’s imagine that there are clauses in both your contracts that also include fake relationships. Your contract has two, and your friend’s contract has five, including one with one of their co-stars. Both of you must, ABSOLUTELY, have the number of PRs chosen for you over the course of those years, otherwise, you’re gonna be forced not only to fight a lawsuit that you will lose because you haven’t respected the contract, but also to pay a penalty that can reach up to six figures.

Doesn’t this ring a bell? Now do you also understand why Ca*ren, and most of the other celebrities, are forced to have PR stunt relationships? Because they have to! Because it’s part of their contracts if they want to keep doing what they do. Many of them have a say. They can decide whether or not to accept the person chosen for them, they can choose a person themselves, they can negotiate something in return if they accept a person they didn’t want, etc., etc. But many have no say in it.

And speaking of our Camr*n, more specifically, our L, and Kris. Guys… All the comments I’ve read around… *help* 🤦🏻🤦🏻🤦🏻

L didn’t invite Kris there because he’s her boyfriend. And it certainly wasn’t her the one who asked her dad to delete the post because she didn’t want her fans to start attacking her new boyfriend or because she wanted to protect her relationship. IT WAS ALL DONE ON PURPOSE. Mi*e posted the picture and then deleted it ON PURPOSE! Why? Because (L and Kris’ teams) wanted the fans to see the picture to speculate! They wanted the fans to start attacking him! They want people to talk about it!! Is that really that hard to understand or to believe? Welcome to Tyren 2.0, my friends. That’s how it started with Taco Delivery Symbol, or did you forget that too? Go read the timelines if you really don’t remember.

I’ve lost count of how many times they’ve put off releasing L’s album over the years. They’d finally decided, and then it was postponed AGAIN, but because of COVID. EVERYONE had to postpone their programs actually, but L’s album was supposed to be released 100% this year (in September, in my opinion). Her PR should have started earlier. This is the only reason we have only had hints of Crispy McBacon (I’ve already found so many nicknames for his transphobic ass, sorry but I just can’t help myself) over time. Because they have postponed several times! *And also because, in my opinion, they were still looking for an alternative. The choice had to be between a guy (him) and a girl.*

But hey, at least they have an excuse to make this PR more real, you know? I’m already picturing what she’ll say because we all know the script by now: “Kris and I’ve been dating for a while now. I’m a private person. My personal life is my personal life and I want to protect my shit, you know? I don’t like it when people judge my life choices and that’s why I’ve never talked about it before. And I’d like it to stay that way”. Picture me shouting a “SURE, JAN!” when that happens, also because we will then slowly have more and more of their content. Aww, I’m already picturing them playing fake lovebirds and talking to each other in Spanish IN FRONT of a camera, in a live or an Insta-story maybe? 🤮🤮🤮

And speaking of postponed programs…

This is my version of how things could’ve turned out for our oh so beloved IwanttobeknownMila. Keep these dates in mind. Shon Mentos: The Tour, started on March 7, 2019, and ended on December 21, 2019. The Romance Tour, was supposed to start on May 26, 2020, and end on September 26, 2020.

They could’ve released Shirt’s documentary around the beginning of the Romance Tour. They could’ve made them break up almost at the end of the Romance Tour. He would’ve completed the album now, to then releasing it in January or February almost simultaneously with Cinderella’s release.

Why all this? Simple, cross-publicity or cross-promotion or whatever you want to call it. Choke recently said that they’d initially finished filming at the end of his tour and that they had to cut out a lot of parts. And what does all this mean? That the original documentary was another one.

In my opinion, the original was supposed to about his life on tour and only a small part, sneak peeks about the creation of Wonder. Instead, thanks to COVID, they changed direction and made it all about his album. The reason why they had to cut a lot of parts, was to make room for the last few months and therefore to the completion of the album. Which is why I think they finished filming in September/October (if anyone of u knows more, please feel free to let me know).

Without COVID they could’ve released his original documentary more or less around the beginning of the Romance Tour. News, tabloids, and people would’ve talked about them, both for the documentary and for the tour of our Mila= cross-promotion. They could’ve made them break up almost at the end of the Romance Tour. The distance, the misunderstandings, and why not, even the pathetic excuse that Toilet Brush used now when ‘they were in crisis/on a break’, that is, that he hadn’t been opened and vulnerable with her. People would’ve talked about them, Shitmila fans would’ve rebelled and cry their eyes out, news and tabloids would’ve gone crazy for who would tell the story better= cross-promotion. He would’ve completed the album now, with half of the songs he already had (from 3 years) and that he’s using on this album, and a half with songs that would’ve been about his broken heart, to then releasing it in January or February almost simultaneously with Cinderella’s release. Do I need to say this? You can imagine what would’ve happened, right? And what would that have led to? Oh yeah. Cross-promotion!

But anyway, guys, it didn’t happen. Just as we didn’t get L’s album as we hoped. But try to remember one thing, okay? Tyren’s contract started because L needed a new male PR and then they flipped the cards around and continued for him AS AGREED initially. Shakerstoremila’s one, on the other hand, is only and exclusively for HIM. It’s centered on him and will continue to be on him until the end. There’s no point in asking yourselves why Paruparo does this and why Paruparo does that, okay? She HAS TO do it. It’s in her contract and she cannot legally break it if she doesn’t want to face the consequences HER HERSELF has accepted. The sooner you understand this, the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can wait for the end more calmly. It sucks, I know. But that’s the way it is.

I’ve never liked Shon that much in the past. I discovered his existence only and exclusively thanks to Paruparo (IKWYDLS). I’ve always seen him as too fake and with a huge ego. I first became aware of his giant ego during the interview they did in 2015 at The Late Late Show with James Corden. Indeed, I’ve always wondered how someone like Mila could be friends with such an egocentric person. But you know how it is, I just brushed it off because I simply didn’t care about him, and also because at the time (2016 when I officially entered the fandom) the IKWYDLS era was already over for a while. BUT, my first impression of him became very true years later when they started this ridiculous charade.

Not only is he self-centered and with a huge ego, he’s also one of the most fake people I’ve ever seen. Why am I saying this? Because although I don’t know him and consequently, I don’t know if he was already like that before he became famous, Shon is the typical empty celebrity without a personality that has become the role he was set to be in the beginning. The perfect product. They wanted to sell the good guy. The sensitive and different from the others (and that’s where the bullshit of being a ‘singer-songwriter’ came from). And since this idea in itself only partially worked, they made him work on his body so they could sell that too. To sell the unreachable good guy. Superman, as he defines himself 😂. The problem of Shawn and his team, is with people who have not stopped to just look at the fake goody to shoes image that they wanted and want to continue selling.

The way I see him, Shoe’s just a selfish kid. Everything always revolves around him. Everything is and must be about him. He lives to be loved. He lives for the attention. He lives for the approval of others. Everyone must necessarily like him. There’s no one else besides him. Do you know what he reminds me of? He reminds me of a child who asks his mom for attention. ‘Mommy, how did I do? You liked it, didn’t you? Was I good? I can do better if you want, I know I can do better’. I don’t even think he realizes he’s like that because he’s so full of himself and so clouded by himself. Oh and, you know what I’ve been realizing lately? Many of his fans really believe he grew his hair out because Paruparo asked him to (I’d never have believed this bullshit even under torture), but now more than ever I’m convinced that he did it to copy one of his obsessions for years, that is, Matthew McConaughey. My personal problem with this look of his is the fact that he’s now starting to look more and more like Jon Snow (any Game of Thrones fans like me here?), aka one of the characters I can’t stand the most of that amazing TV series. And this, is making me dislike him even more.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I hate him and that I consider him the devil. In fact, I think there’s a lot but A LOT worse than him out there. I really, REALLY, dislike him, but I don’t hate him. Do I follow him on social media? Yes, but only on IG. Did I listen to his music? Yes, but illegally, and I liked some of his songs because as usual, I distinguish the art from the artist. I’ve never bought his music, I’ve never streamed it, I’ve never gone to one of his concerts, and the only views I’ve ever given him are only for music videos (not even all of them) on YouTube and only because other channels can’t violate copyrights by taking and posting them on their own. Indeed, you know how I’m gonna listen to his album? Thanks to the YouTube channels of his fans who will post his songs.

But anyway. I’ve dwelt too much on #pleasenoticeme #pleaseloveme, I’d say that’s enough. I’m gonna conclude with my final thoughts on the main topic of my post, that is, the fake PR relationships. I wanna explain to u guys why a fake relationship like Shazam’s and our Mila’s is so obvious as PR.

A PR relationship MUST create doubt in people’s heads and MUST NOT look perfect at all. Why? Because otherwise people WOULD NOT TALK ABOUT IT. If it looked like a basic relationship, a common relationship, people wouldn’t talk about it because they wouldn’t find anything strange about it. They wouldn’t speculate, they wouldn’t look for clues, they wouldn’t watch every move. They wouldn’t be thirsty. They’d just get bored. Yes, there would be the initial boom of the ‘new couple’, but then everything would end and people would move on to look for something else to entertain them. The main point of a PR relationship is to make people speculate, and if people don’t constantly talk about it, then it would be all pointless because it would make no sense to create a fake relationship in the first place.

Way to stop this act or any other act? Stop giving them fucking attention! You want to talk about it, speculate, look for evidence, and make theories amongst you friends? Do it! That’s great actually. I do it myself. But fucking tagging them?? 🤨😒🙄

If all the fans who know the real TRUTH stop talking about it by tagging them, tweeting them, etc. their ‘story’ would end. Sure, their teams would try to create something to attract attention again, like a kiss or a scoop, but if ignored even then, everything would end immediately. Why? Precisely because they were unable to complete their task. And in that case, the two celebs would ‘break up’ with a big scandal that would still bring attention back to them, although in this case, the attention would FINALLY be on both celebrities in a singular way and no longer as a couple. The next goal would be for fans and media to find out ‘what happened’ and ‘why’, while for managers it would be to create a scoop on those questions that keep them talking about them, and if all goes well, maybe even get them ‘back together’, and so on, until they have a better idea. But, if they fail even then, even though they’ve not reached the date scheduled in the contract, they would ‘break up’ without any more surprises.

And that’s all for now, my fellows CS. Remember to hold on and to not lose hope. Be patient. And above all, try not to freak out and get very angry as soon as you listen to the album. We already know it’s all bullshit.

I’m sending you a virtual hug 🤗🤗 Always with love, F ❤️

#FA #submission #f anon

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theomnilegent · 3 years

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2021 Upcoming LGBTQIA Fiction I’m Excited For!

This is my top nine for women-led queer fiction for this year! I am so excited to read each of these books. Each of these books features lesbian or bisexual women and most are romances or coming-of-age stories. A lot of these are #ownvoices stories and many are by authors who already have proven themselves as great writers of LGBT fiction.

Below you’ll find titles, summaries and goodreads links to the above books. This year there are plenty of tropes to be found in these stories, including enemies-to-lovers, fake dating, and starcrossed lovers! I’m so excited for all the enemies-to-lovers stories there are this year, and I can’t wait to read everything on this list.

Bruised by Tanya Boteju To Daya Wijesinghe, a bruise is a mixture of comfort and control. Since her parents died in an accident she survived, bruises have become a way to keep her pain on the surface of her skin so she doesn’t need to deal with the ache deep in her heart. So when chance and circumstances bring her to a roller derby bout, Daya is hooked. Yes, the rules are confusing and the sport seems to require the kind of teamwork and human interaction Daya generally avoids. But the opportunities to bruise are countless, and Daya realizes that if she’s going to keep her emotional pain at bay, she’ll need all the opportunities she can get. The deeper Daya immerses herself into the world of roller derby, though, the more she realizes it’s not the simple physical pain-fest she was hoping for. Her rough-and-tumble teammates and their fans push her limits in ways she never imagined, bringing Daya to big truths about love, loss, strength, and healing.

Not My Problem by Ciara Smyth Aideen has plenty of problems she can’t fix. Her best (and only) friend is pulling away. Her mother’s drinking problem is a constant concern. She’s even running out of outlandish diseases to fake so she can skip PE. But when Aideen stumbles on her nemesis, overachiever Meabh Kowalski, in the midst of a full-blown meltdown, she sees a problem that—unlike her own disaster of a life—seems refreshingly easy to solve. Meabh is desperate to escape her crushing pile of extracurriculars. Aideen volunteers to help. By pushing Meabh down the stairs. Problem? Solved. Meabh’s sprained ankle is the perfect excuse to ditch her overwhelming schedule. But when another student learns about their little scheme and brings Aideen another “client” who needs her “help,” it kicks off a semester of traded favors, ill-advised hijinks, and an unexpected chance at love. Fixing other people’s problems won’t fix her own, but it might be the push she needs to start.

She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen After losing spectacularly to her ex-girlfriend in their first game since their break up, Scottie Zajac gets into a fender bender with the worst possible person: her nemesis, the incredibly beautiful and incredibly mean Irene Abraham. Things only get worse when their nosey, do-gooder moms get involved and the girls are forced to carpool together until Irene’s car gets out of the shop. Their bumpy start only gets bumpier the more time they spend together. But when an opportunity presents itself for Scottie to get back at her toxic ex (and climb her school’s social ladder at the same time), she bribes Irene into playing along. Hijinks, heartbreak, and gay fake-dating scheme for the ages.

Like Other Girls by Britta Lundin Teen lesbian Mara joins her rural high school's football team, and in doing so inspires four more girls to join, upending the boys' club culture and sparking a mini-revolution.

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston A 23-year-old realises her subway crush is displaced from 1970's Brooklyn, and she must do everything in her power to help her - and try not to fall in love with the girl lost in time - before it's too late...

Afterlove by Tanya Byrne Ash Persaud is about to become a reaper in the afterlife, but she is determined to see her first love Poppy Morgan again, the only thing that separates them is death. Car headlights. The last thing Ash hears is the snap of breaking glass as the windscreen hits her and breaks into a million pieces like stars. But she made it, she's still here. Or is she? This New Year's Eve, Ash is gets an RSVP from the afterlife she can't decline: to join a clan of fierce girl reapers who take the souls of the city's dead to await their fate. But Ash can't forget her first love, Poppy, and she will do anything to see her again...even if it means they only get a few more days together.

Some Girls Do by Jennifer Dugan Morgan, an elite track athlete, is forced to transfer high schools late in her senior year after it turns out being queer is against her private Catholic school's code of conduct. There, she meets Ruby, who has two hobbies: tinkering with her baby blue 1970 Ford Torino and competing in local beauty pageants, the latter to live out the dreams of her overbearing mother. The two are drawn to each other and can't deny their growing feelings. But while Morgan--out and proud, and determined to have a fresh start--doesn't want to have to keep their budding relationship a secret, Ruby isn't ready to come out yet. With each girl on a different path toward living her truth, can they go the distance together?

I Think I Love You by Auriane Desombre Arch-nemeses Emma, a die-hard romantic, and more-practical minded Sophia find themselves competing against one another for a coveted first-prize trip to a film festival in Los Angeles...what happens if their rivalry turns into a romance?

Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar Everyone likes Humaira "Hani" Khan—she’s easy going and one of the most popular girls at school. But when she comes out to her friends as bisexual, they invalidate her identity, saying she can’t be bi if she’s only dated guys. Panicked, Hani blurts out that she’s in a relationship…with a girl her friends absolutely hate—Ishita "Ishu" Dey. Ishu is the complete opposite of Hani. She’s an academic overachiever who hopes that becoming head girl will set her on the right track for college. But Ishita agrees to help Hani, if Hani will help her become more popular so that she stands a chance of being elected head girl. Despite their mutually beneficial pact, they start developing real feelings for each other. But relationships are complicated, and some people will do anything to stop two Bengali girls from achieving happily ever after.

#queer fiction #wlw books #wlw literature #queer literature #lgbtqa literature #lgbt #book recommendations #sapphic books

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infinitelytheheartexpands · 3 years

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Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST—

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode?

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home:

All hail Incitatus the king

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts

oh god is that hamilton

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway)

Me internally vs externally

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance”

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

#opera #opera tag #results #screencaps #captions #caption #caption this #caption contest #this seems to have gone over well and I am Pleased

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disregardcanon · 3 years

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rwby julie and the phantoms au featuring dead girl band rwby and jaune as the conduit. but like, jaune who just half-way cheated his way into music school

the year is 1995 and the girl band RWBY is a rising power in the indie music world. composed of four talented, each with a rich and interesting backstory for the public to latch onto, they’re well on their way to becoming LGBT icons- if not actual stars. weiss, blake, and yang are twenty and ruby is eighteen.

weiss schnee is the daughter of silicone valley tycoon jacques schnee, who made headlines when she cut off all her hair and ran away from home to join a queer girl band. she’s the second schnee daughter to leave home, winter having joined the military back in 1992. she’s the band’s lead vocalist, though she occasionally plays violin in tracks that they write it into.

blake belladonna is already a famous singer. she sprung onto the scene in 1992 in a duo known as “bellataurus”. acting as the full sonny and cher package, adam taurus served as both older boyfriend and older manager until blake broke from him and helped to form RWBY in 1994. she took her vocals, her piano skills, GUITAR skills, and her songwriting skills with her.

yang xiao long and ruby rose are legacies of the highest order. summer, raven, qrow, and tai formed a band when they were kids and they became some of the biggest rockstars of the seventies and eighties- and later some of the biggest scandals. raven and tai’s messy, public breakup after the birth of their daughter signaled the band’s death- but then the birth of tai and SUMMER’S child signaled an even bigger scandal. the tabloids had an absolute field day over the new baby.

yang learned lots of instruments, but mainly took up the drums from her dad. the same went for ruby, but she mainly stole qrow’s guitar and made him teach her to shred.

unfortunately, the media never stopped following the two kids around, even through ruby’s transition. in a mixed bag for the remnants of STRQ and their children, the media circus that followed ruby rose coming out as a girl in NINETEEN NINETY TWO. the remaining members of STRQ still had a lot of clout and fully put their support behind her, but transmisognyny’s a bitch and it still followed them everywhere. yang coming out publicly as a lesbian neither helped nor hindered the situation, but it did make ruby feel a bit less alone.

the girls formed their band about a year before their- uh, UNTIMELY deaths in 1995. this came 3 days after a confrontation between blake and adam, where she promised that she would never, EVER date him again. she wouldn’t even work with him again. she and her band were going to become stars and actually help make social changes, instead of them just bullying her into going along with whatever THEY want from her and keeping her mouth shut because politics kills careers.

they’re playing the ORPHEUM! the theater where so many bands have gotten their big break! she doesn’t need him now and she didn’t need him then.

eating bad street hot dogs after the warm up for a performance that blake promised adam 3 days ago would be the best that she ever gave- well. that’s just a weird coincidence, right?

cue 2020.

jaune arc has recently gotten into his first semester at a prestigious music college in the LA area, close to his family’s home where he still lives. the garage/studio out back remains largely untouched. half of that’s because cleaning the place out would be a lot of work, but half of it’s because his parents feel bad about the idea of cleaning out all of STRQ’s old recording equipment that both summer and tai promised they “didn’t want anymore” while selling the house in the wake of their daughters’ deaths.

it’s not like the area is really suitable as a garage, and the arcs can spare a little room just in case those people ever change their minds.. even though they haven’t in twenty five years.

jaune’s house isn’t completely empty because he still has one of his older sisters going to college in LA at the same time, but it’s preeetttyy empty. his parents are hands off at this point and don’t even wonder how their baby who never even took any music lessons has gotten into a school like this.

it’s not like he doesn’t sing and sing pretty well, but they’re not even certain he can read music. spoiler alert: he can’t.

jaune is actually VERY good at working by ear and performing, but his music education growing up was lacking. on all levels. his parents encouraged him to do sports as his primary activity and he had no time for anything else and his public school music ed did not get him what he needed to go to music school.

frankly, he doesn’t even know what a treble clef is called. so. he’s a bit behind when going into his college classes. he was only able to fake the paperwork to get into music theory II, but considering that he’s. uh, completely unaware of what those notes mean he’s a bit fucked.

he’s always just been able to pull the song out of his ass because he listened to enough music to learn stuff by ear, but now he’s supposed to work through all this stuff with notation and he MIGHT BE DYING

he’s assigned to a group project with ren and nora and pyrrha and, well, thank god pyrrha notices and is kind enough to try to fill in the cracks.

but there’s a lot of cracks, you know? he’s barely pulling the grades that he needs to not get kicked out of the program at the moment, and he’s not entirely sure how to go about getting an accompanist for his end of semester showcase and ren and nora are already working together (they both play guitar and sing together) and pyrrha’s a soloist and -

oh god, he’s going to get kicked out of this program, isn’t he?

pyrrha keeps talking him down out of the anxiety because she is very kind and has a very big crush because jaune still has noticed that she’s a pop star that wanted to (but is failing to) have a normal college experience.

she lets him borrow her copy of RWBY’s first and only album and lets him take it home to listen to it. he decides to listen to it in the studio because he knows that’s where music, at one point, happened.

and it of course summons the souls of all four girls. they have ghostly mischief as they try to figure out how to make things work, and realize that while people who aren’t jaune can’t see them- people can HEAR THEM. and then when they play along with jaune for his end of semester show case- they realize that people can SEE THEM when they play with him.

pyrrha is confused about why jaune’s hologram band looks so much like RWBY, and she’s a little jealous and hurt that he’s been keeping this from her while letting HER bear the brunt of helping him with his struggles. jaune doesn’t know how to say that yeah, those are the actual ghosts of RWBY.

petty drama, petty drama, the girls are feeling suffocated by the fact that they’re actually dead and can’t interact with anyone who’s alive. ruby decides to go clear her head and meets another, very sweet and enthusiastic ghost named penny who likes to skateboard.

penny is very sweet and ruby has what is known in show biz as a CRUSH. ruby learns a bit about how this ghost stuff works from her (some powers, about the unfinished business being what’s tying them to the land of the living, that she is VERY GAY) and she comes back to her friends to say hello yes i know things now and am also gay. wasn’t positive about that before but it’s a fact now

here’s where i lose my thread and am too tired to find it again but other things

1. ironwood is the villain of this. if you’re familiar with jatp, he serves the same function as caleb covington if not the exact same motives. he seals souls to him by a contract but with the express purpose of building a safe afterlife for ghosts... by making sure that all of them are under his control. winter, who died in one of the united state’s middle eastern campaigns is his right hand ghost.

weiss is majorly conflicted by this because. it’s winter, you know? it’s winter. and it seems like this guy is trying to make things better for ghosts, right? he’s got a homebase and he can make them visible sometimes and make it so they can eat food and lots of stuff. but it comes with a heavy level of control.

he doesn’t go after the girls until later because he thinks that they’ll come back, but when he DOES... the fact that he owns penny’s soul and doesn’t see her or any of the souls under his control as full people comes up in an ugly way.

2. adam taurus is the trevor wilson of this, but waaaayyy worse. he did in fact kill the girls and pillaged what he could of blake’s songs to record and put out under his own name. he‘s a big star, but a fading one, and he has a few vengeful ghost coming for him.

3. winter is a ghost, but whitley is a ghost of himself. at this point he’s forty and still doesn’t even know what he wants because he’s molded himself into what his dad wants so thoroughly. getting him to realize that he wants more and wants things for himself definitely comes up. winter also helps take down ironwood and free the souls. eventually

4. jaune IS a necromancer. he’s going to be able to see penny and others and eventually can give ghosts the power they need to be seen whenever they want. RWBYJNPR eventually becomes a big band that plays together sometimes

5. raven only came back for a few days for yang and ruby’s funeral before disappearing. qrow fell from grace quite dramatically when he accused adam taurus of murder with no evidence and became the laughing stock of america. he kept trying to find something that would fill the holes in his life, but he hasn’t lucked out with that yet... except the alcoholism, maybe.

tai and summer are still together, but they’re pretty miserable and they moved far away from LA to get out of the spotlight.

RWBY gets summer, tai, and qrow back together on purpose... and raven shows up when she sees her dead daughter singing on national television. the STRQ reunion is awkward and stilted, but things get better from there.

strq instruments

summer: vocalist with some piano

raven and qrow: bass and standard guitar respectively with some vocals

tai: drummer with some vocals

6. pyrrha and jaune eventually actually become the great duo that adam tried to market himself and blake as. sorry not sorry

7. not sure how they do it but they DO prove that adam murdered them and all of them including qrow get Vindication TM

8. the bumbleby isn’t a big plot point but they were dancing around getting together when they died and it happens slowly once they’re back <3

#rwby aus #jaune arc #team rwby #team strq #arkos #nuts and dolts #bumbleby #ruby rose #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #schneeblings

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eddiemunsonssoulmate · 4 years

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Make love, not war: The anti- OBX drama edition

Okay kids, listen up.

I’m too old for all of this drama and I’ve been on this hellsite for way too long to just keep watching it in silence so this is gonna be my only, long ass post about this mess that has occured/is occuring. I’m trying to get my thoughts out and and maybe talk some sense into the last three braincells some people have left.

These are my thoughts. My opinion. It’s totally fine if you disagree but if you feel strongly offended or called out by this, you might be part of the problem.

I’ve been watching the drama for a while now and normally I’m just someone who’s on the quiet side, grabbing a box of popcorn and watching how y’all tear each other to pieces but seriously?

Some of you really need to get a life.

Fandom life isn’t always easy, fandom life can be messy, some people are not what they seem, yadda yadda.

But seriously, did you lose all the respect you had when you’ve signed up on this website or social media in general?

First: The Rudy “drama”

Someone, a really sweet and nice to everyone person, stated a theory based on an anon ask who based their ask on a social media website. A theory. A worst case scenario of what might have happened. They wanted to be nice and answer to every anon they’re getting but guys.

Guys.

It was a theory. A mere idea of what might have happened because someone asked, nothing else. It was not facts, there was no evidence and the ask that caused all of this was not based on facts either. It can totally be fun to speculate about things. You’re allowed to believe what you want. Rudy’s a dick, Rudy’s a sweet angel, Rudy is a blue alien in disguise, everyone is allowed to have an opinion on something but oh my god.

Don’t make facts out of theories.

Don’t look at three emotes and be like “oh my god they have to be dating!”

Don’t make a drama out of two actors not liking each other’s posts on Instagram like what the heck.

When did Social Media take over your life so much that you interpret everything in those little things? There’s a real life out there, ya know?

We don’t know anything for a fact so let it go. Wait until someone says something official which probably won’t happen.

More importantly, stay out of actors' private lives as much as you can. Seriously. You’re welcome to state your opinion about them, make theories, stuff like that but tbh, it’s better to stay out of it because at the end of your day, it’s none of our business. Celebrity stalking is not and never will be cool. Don’t waste your time and energy of trying to figure something out they clearly don’t want you to see. Best example for this are like, baby news.

I know it can be exciting to figure stuff out. I know you can be totally curious because you like that person and want to find things about their life but don’t blow it out of proportion.

Actors are humans. Actors are not their characters. They have their own private life and if they want to share, that’s cool. If not, then that’s also cool. And tbh, the OBX cast is feeding us a lot more way more than other actors from other shows/movies, god bless them.

But who the fuck do you think you are that you’re sending them, the actors or the people talking about it, hate based on a simple theory on a website that has a life on it’s own and things that happen on here should stay on here? That’s not cool, it’s a shame for other people in the fandom. Why would you want to make a person feel bad because I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like to feel this way either.

They’re grown ups, they can do what they want. You don’t have to like it but for the love of god:

Have some respect for a human being.

Second: The Chase Thing aka #chasestokespartyisover

That last sentence totally applies here too.

Have respect for a human being.

Boy made a tweet over ten years ago where he said something that was problematic. Was that cool? No. Did he apologize? Yes. Is it time to let it go? Totally. Was his hacking excuse true or not? WE DON’T KNOW.

You know what’s not cool tho? Some people taking their time to scroll down TEN YEARS AND MORE on a timeline to get some tea on them that you can use and complain about.

I know quarantine can get boring but jfc guys. There are more things to life than obsessing over an actor, ya know.

We all said shit in our youth, that’s a fact but people change. They grow. Don’t compare a teenage boy with a grown ass man.

You know what’s also totally 100% not acceptable? People photoshopping fake screenshots to show what a big mean white boi Chase is, trying to fuel the fire of hate. What the fuck is wrong in those minds?

Cancel Culture is a toxic phenomenon that should be the only thing getting canceled. You can’t cancel people, ya know. It’s fucking toxic to say something like that and just...don’t, man. I barely have any words left to describe this stupid thing.

Make love, not war. Spread love, not hate.

Fandom is not a place to rip each other to pieces. Not everything in this world is about race, sex/gender or problematic things. Just because someone doesn’t reblog a lot about Madison it’s mostly not because of racism or because she’s queer. Sure, that’s probably the case for some people but you know, those people aren’t worth it then.

Fandom is not a place that should spread hate around, especially not on anon, sending people asks filled with hate. There’s a bunch of younger kids on here, especially in the OBX fandom from what I’ve seen so far and it’s not okay to tell a 15 year old girl to tell her to go kill herself because she likes Rudy more than JD or shit like that. It’s never okay to something like that but it hits the younger ones even harder. Maybe it’s their first fandom and people ruin that experience on the spot, feeling powerful while on anon.

Fandom should be a place where we come together and have fun. Make friends and share things. Gifset, fanfics, theories about the new season, things like that. It should be a place to freak out over new teasers, new pictures from the set, the cast sharing stuff on their platform of choice and just things we enjoy.

There are different ways to block and blacklist on Tumblr, especially if you’re using it in a browser on your laptop/pc. Use that to block toxic people, tags you don’t wanna see and create your own little bubble where you’re happy in. Do this in case you feel uncomfortable with some people around here, so you only see what makes you happy.

Please remind yourself about the fact that behind all those blogs, there are real people. People who all have their own lives, own opinions, own ideas. Same goes for actors. They’re not there for your personal entertainment, they don’t have to share their complete private life with you. They’re human, just like you and me and it’s unacceptable to send them hate, no matter what they’ve done. You don’t have to like them but keep it to yourself or talk about it with friends, I don’t give a shit but leave it out of their sight.

Please remind yourself that we want to have a good time here and especially during times like these where we spend more time on here than we probably should *laughs*

If you made it to the end, thank you for your attention and taking your time and remember:

Be nice to each other, the world is cruel enough.

-Captain out.

#outer banks #obx #obx netflix #rudy pankow #chase stokes #madison bailey #jonathan daviss #madelyn cline #drew starkey #obx cast #this is just a massive brain dumb with lots of swearing lmao

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multifandomfanfiction · 3 years

Text

Beauty and the Genius Chapter 8

TITLE: Beauty and the Genius Chapter 8 PAIRING: Spencer/OC RATING: T CHAPTER: 8/? SUMMARY: When David Rossi joins the team, so does his daughter Gwendolyn. But what happens when she and the resident genius start developing feelings for each other? How will it affect Rossi and Reid’s team dynamic?

The three of them walked up to Penelope’s bed and Morgan put his hand on hers.

“Hey. How are you feeling?” Morgan asked her.

“Good news, bad news. The morphine’s wearing off. When I was in the ambulance, I could hear the song Heroes playing in my head. I kept flashing in and out of consciousness. Everything was really bright. And I remember thinking, wait…is David Bowie really God?”

The three of them chuckled.

“We have a, uh, we have a sketch artist coming in,” Spencer told her.

“I’m still a little hazy.”

“It’s okay,” Morgan reassured her, “Anything you tell us will help. This guy say what he did for a living?”

“He said he was a lawyer.”

“Did…did people know him where you went?” Spencer asked.

“He said he wanted to show me a place. It was half an hour away.”

“You drove together?” Morgan asked, “What kind of car?”

“White. 4-door Sedan. American. It smelled new.”

“Rental car maybe?” Spencer asked.

“Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t look at things like you guys do. I don’t see danger…”

“Okay. Take it easy. Take it easy,” Morgan told her, “What else can you remember?”

“He smelled good.”

“He seem nervous?” Spencer asked.

“I thought he was just afraid to kiss me good night.”

Morgan wiped away the tear that fell down her cheek. “Hey. You sure you’re up for this?”

Penelope nodded. “I could hear him walking. He leaned over me and I held my breath so he’d think I was dead.”

Gwen wrapped her hand around Penelope’s. “That probably saved your life. If he thought you were still alive, you wouldn’t be sitting here with us today. And that’d just be a crying shame.”

Penelope smiled and lightly squeezed Gwen’s hand.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Despite their best efforts, four days later and they had no leads.

“Penelope, I know it’s gotta be hard to keep reliving this,” Morgan said.

“I just don’t know what else there is to remember,” she told him.

“Let’s start with behavior,” Spencer suggested, “That’s all, that’s all profiling really is, just noticing behavior.”

“Sweetheart, any details you can remember will tell us who he is,” Morgan said, “Okay?”

Penelope nodded.

“All right, so let’s go back to when you first arrived at that restaurant. Was he nervous?”

“No. The opposite, actually. He ordered wine for us.”

“So he was trying to impress you by showing you how he can take charge.”

“I guess so.”

“Tell me about his watch,” Spencer said.

“It’s a fake Rolex.”

“You sure about that?” Morgan asked.

“I know my knockoffs.”

“Clearly he was playing with it ‘cause he wanted you to notice. I mean, he wanted you to think that it was real.”

Penelope turned her head and looked at Morgan.

“Garcia, are you okay?” he asked her.

“I’m feeling really exposed.”

“You’re doing just fine. Just fine.”

“We started talking about work and he asked me if I dealt with murder cases. He started talking about his schooling and all these law schools he went to. He said he was a city attorney and had a murder case dismissed and he kinda became disenchanted with it. He used big words that only a lawyer would use. And then we toasted to karma.”

“That’s good. Really good.”

Reid and Morgan left to go back to the BAU, leaving Gwen with Penelope.

“Stay with her at all times, you understand me?” Morgan asked.

Gwen rolled her eyes and pulled out her gun.

“Fine.” Morgan went to go start the car.

“I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone,” Spencer said.

“Spencer, go. I’ll be fine. You know what?” Gwen pulled off her necklace and handed it to Spencer. “Many see the pentacle as a symbol of protection. Give it back to me at the end of this, okay?”

“Okay.”

Gwen leaned up and kissed Spencer on the cheek. “Now go.”

Spencer left and Gwen went back inside Penelope’s room and sat down on the end of her bed.

“You don’t have to stay with me,” Penelope said.

“Are you kidding? You’re my best friend, Penny.”

“Really?”

“Well, you’re kind of my only true friend at the moment.”

“What about Dr. Sexy?”

Gwen’s cheeks burned as she blushed.

“Look at you! Blushing like a school girl. Haven’t you ever had a boyfriend?”

Gwen looked down at her lap. “Um, no. No I haven’t.”

“Oh, Gwen. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I’m making fun of you.”

“It’s fine, Penelope. Really.” Gwen pulled out a deck of tarot cards. “Now, wanna do some readings?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Morgan and Spencer soon returned.

Hotch stormed in an hour later as Penelope was freshening up her makeup.

“Hey,” Penelope said.

“How are you feeling?” Hotch asked.

“You know, I’ve had better dates.”

“What’s going on?” Morgan asked.

“We found an encrypted file on your computer. Are you involved in something that I need to know about?” Hotch asked her.

“No.”

“Hotch, what’s going on?” Morgan asked.

“Could this be connected in any way to whoever shot you?” Hotch asked, ignoring Morgan.

“I don’t think so,” Penelope told him.

“I need the password. “

“Is this really necessary?” Morgan snapped.

“Yes. The password.”

“Gilman Street,” Penelope answered.

“Thank you.”

“They don’t honestly think Garcia’s a security risk, do they?” Spencer asked.

Hotch sighed. “I don’t know. We’ve been ordered by internal affairs to stop working the case.”

“What?” Morgan asked.

“And until this is cleared up…you’ve been suspended. I’m sorry.”

Morgan and Spencer looked at Penelope who just said, “Right.”

Hotch left the room and Penelope started pulling off all her monitors.

“What are you doing?” Spencer asked her.

“I need to get out of here.”

Morgan sat down on her bed and stopped her. “Please baby. Listen to me. We’re gonna get it straightened out. I’m gonna find out who did this to you.”

“And when we do, you best believe I’m curing his ass,” Gwen said, making Penelope smile.

“Gwen’s right. I don’t give a damn what I.A. wants me to do or doesn’t want me to do, but right now you need to rest.”

“But…one of the last things I said before he shot me was ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ Derek, if I lose faith in that, then nothing in my life makes sense.” “I get that.”

“No, you don’t.”

Taglist: @imagining-in-the-margins , @subhuman-queer, @anotherr-fine-mess and anyone else who would like to be tagged!

#spencer reid #dr. spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagines #dr. spencer reid fanfiction #spencer/oc #spencer/gwen #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #Penelope Garcia #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds imagines #beauty and the genius

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kae-karo · 5 years

Note

Hi Katie! I just want you to know that I want your analysis of this new sims video more than anything and I'll just patiently wait for it... Have a nice day!

hi dear!! new sims vid, did u mean dnp simulator?

dorks spending the first ten seconds dancing in fake snow

why virtual friends???? ??

my daddies gave to me y’all,,,,,,there’s knowing your branding and then there’s acting on that knowledge and i think this may have been one time where acting on your knowledge maybe was not a good call like ily and u do u and all but

i love phil loving his branding it’s cute also shoutout to @dnpscloset thanks for finding it (x) bc i want one now if anyone needs a last minute xmas idea i’m lookin at u mom u always wait til the last minute

same dan, same

‘we all have new faces and new lives and everything’s changed, this is gonna be hella dramatic’ *inhale* *exhale*

‘when u imagine the howlter family’ god they’re such adorable n sentimental nerds i love them

phil’s actual default is bein a leany boye

dnp arguing about what ‘desperate’ actually is as if the entirety of their first year after meeting they weren’t talking as often as they could five hour skype calls amirite

get away from me stalker lmao bold of u to say that danny

phil sweetie i love you with my entire heart he’s so so excited abt the virtual snow i love him

tiny zoom in jumpcut at 2:08 overlapping audio interesting

a mood and a half

phil immediately going ‘yeahhhhh thin walls family hearing things they gotta get out’ abt dab and evan like m8 we get it all u think abt is sex we get it god u and ur husband really are made for each other aren’t u (dnp = devan reference #1)

‘i presume evan is also jobless’ ‘i hope so!’ phil is it really,,,,,,smth to be excited about,,,,,,,

dan’s doin a lot of the hand phone lately u cute boy

we should have a redbull what is wrong with them phil can barely handle having too much sugar y’all thought it was a good idea to have a redbull also we should have a redbull they share literally everything which tbh is probs for the best lbr phil on a whole can of redbull hmmmmm yes ik it’s v possible and in fact probable that phil had his own can let me live

‘it’s a sensible lightweight jacket’ in the fucking snow wow dan u really did just set urself up for phil to drag u about not dressing for the weather

dan’s fucking laugh at 4:39 gives me life literally there is no purer and more adorable sound like that’s up there with kittens purring

‘i think he’s gonna be a bit of a diva in this relationship’ did you mean: dan howell (dnp = devan reference #2)

[slight bit of ankle is showing] dan: ‘and now you’re wearing shorts’

where’s the lie tho honestly that lil pause before he said mate

this clip will live in infamy bc i want this in every fucking phan edit for the rest of time like i can’t even think of the right out-of-context clip right now but anything that can be answered with phil saying ‘it’s dan’ i need it

youtube

mandatory phil covering his mouth and bein a cutie

yes destroy gender roles in the snow universe (although seriously dan’s ‘life is just about uncon-doing the horrible conditioning of all these gender stereotypes, phil’ is so important also i stan phil recognizing that before dan i think it’s really easy to forget that just bc up til recently he’s not been as expressive as dan of his opinions on how stupid gender roles are doesn’t mean he doesn’t have just as if not more progressive a mindset than dan)

‘it’s like a dan vs phil’ dnp = devan #3

dan has such a lovely singing voice i miss him singing

dude phil’s eyebrows are making a Solid appearance v expressive

i s2g this is a different moment from the one above he’s just so fricken cute???

‘but they’ve got each other’s backs, phil, just like dab and evan’ yeeeeaaaa i’m gonna go ahead and go with dnp = devan reference #4 here i think that’s fair

snow angels are the least fun thing to do and yet (x - it literally won’t let me put it in bc it’s a privated vid rip)

amazing they just started having a snowball fight how cute n domestic am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan hmmmm - dnp = devan #5

i get that infinity war was a meme but lads it’s time to let it go

‘and they’re called the howlters’ lmao as if u ain’t an honorary lester daniel (dnp = devan #6)

i’m living for phil’s excitement i mean if that’s what redbull does to him i’m here for it i guess?

hi they’re dumb this was cute

‘we don’t want to be those people, but for us personally, we very much found that you just need to just move into a big city of some kind and just jump into life with both feet’ this is not only adorable advice but also where dnp simulator comes into play aka we did this so uhh dab n evan should do it (dnp = devan #7) also dan speaking for them both singular pronouns are quaking

‘don’t trust that’ what on earth are u on abt phil what don’t u trust the fuckin desert or?????

scalyburg phil stop pls we know we get it dan’s a furry ur a scaly we got it

why does dan spend an entire 7 seconds (8:40) adjusting is he moving closer to phil? switching which leg he’s sat on? idk but it lead to me pausing at this moment which was a gift in and of itself

‘the deposit on that one, plus the weekly went would make us instantly broke, so that’s fun, us when we moved to london’ bih do u hear me crying

does dan remember phil’s first manchester apartment what kind of question is that phil have u met dan he probably remembers every bloody inch of that place i mean he did remember that there wasn’t a bedside table so

stop that

middle of the city, romance festival, geekcon, pretty views and cherry blossom trees sounds like dnp’s ideal location do u get why i’m calling it dnp simulator yet also dnp = devan #8

we don’t want to move next to the karaoke legends wow dan bold of u to say after belting helena at 2am real bold

phil having flashbacks to the apt they toured where they found out people died there

hi phil just looks so excited by everything

look i’m not saying anything except they’re managing to find a lot of similarities b.w their lives and what they’re doing for dab and evan okay like this apartment is great for people-watching? which is what phil did in his manchester apt?

context whomst? idk her

shoutout to the wardrobe

big bold life-changing steps

anon spitting truth up in this house (but like,,,,,my thoughts exactly lmao i was like they’re such introverts they would’ve avoided meeting their neighbors at any cost including apparently smacking into a locked door trying to avoid small talk phil we love u bab)

casually mentioning dan saying ‘we are dil-’ was he gonna say dil’s son, maybe but i like to remember the bloops of dan repeatedly calling dab dil so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

omg okay so from like. this point on, when dan’s like ‘here is my vision’, i’m absolutely getting queer eye vibes like amateur queer eye tho like two gay nerds trying to embody queer eye in their lives a bit oh wait

okay okay okay dan u said an ensuite bathroom and then failed to add a door to the bedroom do u understand how frustrating that is???????? do u understand how stressful it was for me to watch that whole damn vid and know that u forgot the door????

a space for hobbies what hobbies who has hobbies

they learned nothing from building their house before: phil should take the mouse away from dan immediately look at him he is such a sugar baby in this jfc

god dan is so cute get these idiots a penthouse apartment super high up so he can have his bath next to a window okay he deserves that in life

stop it they’re literally agreeing on almost every single thing god they literally share a single brain

amazing

leany boye

‘they are young adults moving into their first apartment, you don’t have art!’ okay first of all don’t even go there daniel second of all i’m sorry you’re the one arguing for spending literally all their money but u don’t want to get some art bc it’s unrealistic????

dan saying lovely

phil’s mr carpet

navy??? navy? when did they? why?

i would get involved in a criminal plot to have that / i’m gonna throw you out of one

wow pro tips makin a comeback

phil is Losing Steam

oh my god okay so i was joking but literally phil is losing steam lmao 18:35 he says ‘ayy’ and it’s so tired-sounding

leany leany boyes

okay look ik dan’s going into ‘aww poor philly’ mode but also he knew that very quickly like honestly that’s not a Thing i would ever notice about someone tbh i’m not saying it’s like Significant but damn danny was really into phil to know that shiz man

the high-fashion gigantic rug of our dreams

okay look i can’t make this up phil literally leans away for a bit and then

hello daniel’s Curl

i stan phil getting excited over plants

dab and evan will be having a mario kart fest will they (dnp = devan #9)

mirroringggggggg

dude big mood god they’re so fond and full of memories

honestly dnp made it that way like u cannot convince me they didn’t purposely decide to do that mmkay

‘see they are ready to have their romantic dinners. and then they can pretend they have another friend and it’s fine!’ am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan who knows :) (dnp = devan #10)

cold in the middle what on earth i literally have no memory of that i mean it could just be my shit memory but jfc they just remember that stuff goddamn

scrunchy boyes also phil where’s ur arm at hm

like i’m not fuckin joking where is it

you can’t exist without a computer i mean

what is important in life / the internet

they don’t even have fucking doors and dan’s like ‘uhm they need a terrarium’ dan i’m stressed

oh my god i’m sorry phil is so done with this now it’s actually comical

hi they didn’t add a door for the ensuite

give dnp an interior design series honestly give them any series

phil reached for dan’s hand u cannot convince me otherwise

‘not my personal taste’ really,,,,,really

when dab n evan hug dan looks at the screen n phil looks at the camera things u didn’t need to know but now u do

lmao jumpscared by the kiss

‘i feel like i’ve never nailed anything more in my entire life’ hmmmm hmmmmmmmmmm hm

the fuck was dan’s ‘getting a job’ that’s his fnaf voice u stop that

doon doon doon doon

tongue

hi uhm what the Fuck was that jumpcut at 28:30 i hate Obvious Jumpcuts with a burning passion specifically bc of dnp

#dnp #dan and phil #dapg #phan #danandphilgames #sims #devan #vid analysis #anon #ask #kt

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sublimestarker · 5 years

Text

Diego Hargreeves x male reader smut -Sick of pushin' weight in an alley with a mind full of sex

DT to : @someobsessionrequired

All the family drama and the news for the upcoming apocalypse was getting too much for Diego, so he wanted to do what most rational adults would do - get drunk and maybe get laid. The problem was that he couldn't find a good bar for the life of him, and that's how he wound up in front of the clusterfuck. Diego wondered why on earth was the bar called that, but he went in, regardless. It didn't take him too long to realise it was a gay bar - it was packed with queer people, there were one too many rainbow flags and decorations and you could see faded posters promoting a local drag queen's performance 4 months ago. None of that mattered to him, all he wanted to do was get drunk. He'd see about laid.

Diego never really defined his sexuality. People were attractive and that was it. He had been with men, women, he's had partners who were nonbinary. Right now he had been single for so long, that a one night stand with a guy wasn't off the table. As if someone could read his thoughts a guy bought him a shot. Diego motioned for the stranger to come over as he downed the whiskey. The guy was attractive, there was no denying that. Though he picked the worst pick up line.

"Nice harness there.". If Diego had a penny for every time he heard that, he'd be richer than his dad.

"Thanks. I'm Diego. And you are?"

The stranger said something, but Diego couldn't hear it because of the loud music. All he knew was that the name started with K.

"So, Diego, what brings you here?"

"It's a long story."

"I've got time."

So Diego compressed his life story in 30 minutes, while the handsome stranger (who's name turned out to be Kameron) listened and ordered more alcohol. It was easy to talk to Kam, and the whiskey was definitely helping him loosen up. He wasn't drunk, just a little tipsy, enough to make him comfortable with talking to a stranger in a gay bar. Diego had just finished up his glass of whiskey when Kameron asked.

"Wanna dance?"

"I'm not that great of a dancer."

"Don't worry, I'll teach you." The man flashed him a flirty smile and Diego almost melted.

The Troye Sivan ballad faded out and it was replaced by an upbeat Britney song. Diego resisted the urge to do some dorky dance move, and focused as Kam placed his hands on his hips. Kameron leaned to the left and started moving his hips, grinding on Diego from behind. Diego blushed and then started doing the same. Kameron pulled him flush against himself, burrying his nose in the other's shoulder.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please do."

Kam began placing hot kisses against Diego's neck, sometimes biting gently and leaving a few hickeys here and there. Diego let out a few quiet shameless moans, before kissing the other man passionately. When he pulled away, he asked.

"Wanna go to the bathroom?"

"Oh my god yes.". Kameron's "excitement" was apparent and Diego was proud of himself for that.

Stumbling in a cubicle, Diego pulled Kam's camo pants down, placing kissed on his thighs and moving upwards. As he was about to pull the other man's boxers down, Kam said.

"We can't do this here."

"Why not? We won't be the first ones, we won't be the last ones,hell we won't even be the last ones in the hour."

"You're technically right, but someone might walk in."

As if on que, someone barged in the bathroom, and began vomiting violently, effectively killing the mood.

"Let's just get our of here."

"It's kinda embarrassing to walk out of here with a boner, but the longer we stay, the longer I'll regret not letting you blow me."

"I can still do it, you know that right?"

"Yeah, but we can save it for my bedroom."

"So we're gonna go to your place? Okay then. Lead the way.". Kam took Diego's hand and lead him out of the club.

"I actually live around here, so we can just walk."

As Diego was turning in an alley, he somehow tripped, but Kam caught him in time, delivering a cheesy pick up line about "already falling for him, huh.". Diego just wanted to shut his pretty mouth up with a kiss, so that's what he did, while pressing him to the alley wall. Kameron's kisses were like a scorching fire and Diego desperately needed to keep the flame burning. Grabbing his one night stand's hand, he placed it on his crotch. To his surprise, Kam turned Diego over,so that he was facing the wall , and pulled his pants down.

"Haven't had a handy in an alley ever since I was still in the closet."

"Oh, it won't be just a handy" Kameron said, showing Diego a small bottle of lube that he pulled out of his pocket, to which an eyebrow was raised.

"What? You always have to be prepared." Kam defended himself. Diego was trying not to moan, because the kisses against his neck felt amazing, so he asked.

"How about someone walking on in us now?"

"Don't care anymore, just want you. Now."

"Then take me. Now."

"You don't have to ask twice."

Kam poured a generous amount of lube on his finger, before slowly moving his finger past Diego's rim.

"God,Diego you're so tight. I need more, need to feel you against me."

Kam let go off Diego's wrist, which he had been previously holding, and instead took hold of Diego's dick and his own, stroking them up and down.

"I swear Kam, you want us both to cum, before we've even started. I mean, I know I'm irresistible, but..." Diego didn't finish his sentence before taking in another finger. Kam wasn't having any of Diego's new cocky attitude.

"F-fuck, that feels g-g-good. Don't stop." Diego moaned, his stutter apparent. Kam heard footsteps in the distance, so he placed his other hand on Diego's mouth, just to be sure. Luckily the people went in another direction and Kam wrapped his hand around the other man's throat. It didn't seem like Diego liked that, so Kameron dropped his hand and placed it on Diego's hip, preparing them for the next step. Before going any further Kam put on a condom and asked.

"I'm gonna put it in now, is that okay?"

"Yeah. Just kiss me once before that.". The kiss was full of lust and reassurance. Then Kameron removed his fingers and replaced them with his cock. He moved painstakingly slow, careful not to hurt Diego. When Kam bottomed out, they both stooped for a minute, softly panting.

"Move." said Diego in what felt like an eternity later. Kameron started with a few experimental thrusts and soon found his rhythm. His hands would wander from Diego's hair, to his chest, ass and finally his dick. The double stimulation apparently drove Diego wild, because he was moaning even louder than before. That turned Kam on even more.

"You're so loud baby, do you want us to be caught, huh? Bet you want someone to see you begging for me, while I stroke your pretty cock, huh. Say something Diego, or can you just moan now?"

"F-fuck you."

"Oh, you want to be snarky with me, huh. How about I pull out and leave you here to finish yourself off? Or should I fuck you til your voice is hoarse from moaning, the wall is white from your cum and you physically can't cum anymore? I can make your ass redder than your face is right now. But if you apologize for talking back to me, I'll just fuck you properly. So what do you say, Diego?" After the second sentence Kameron had pulled out and was tracing his length against Diego's rim, teasing him. Diego was frustrated by that, so he responded

"O-okay, I'm s-s-sorry."

"Say it properly or you're not cumming."

"I'm sorry. Now just fuck me."

"Don't wish for something you can't take, babe.". Kameron thrust back unexpectedly, his pace quick and rough and his hands jerking off Diego with the same tempo. When Kam hit a particular spot, Diego couldn't take it anymore and came, his cum splattered on the brick wall. Huh, so Kameron was right. Kameron's thrusts were getting slower and after he helped Diego ride out his orgasm, he came too. The two men took a moment to compose themselves, before disposing of the condom and then cleaning up to the best of their ability. As far as one night stands went this one was in Diego's top ten, even his top five. Well now he could cross off fucking in an alley from his bucket list.

"Still wanna go to my apartment? We can get cleaned up, go for round two or not and then eat." asked Kam,secretly hoping for a yes.

"Sure. You'll just have to help me with walking, you were a little rough."

"I'm sorry."

"I didn't say I minded it, but now I feel the pain after I felt the pleasure." Kameron held up Diego, letting him lean on Kam's shoulder. When they arrived at the apartment, they both flopped on the bed, shower long forgotten. Diego turned to his partner and said.

"That was fun babe."

"Told you you needed to blow off some steam."

"You were right. By the way, why did you use a fake name earlier?''

"It was fun to pretending to be someone else. Plus I like how you roll the r in Kameron. So what about that round two I mentioned?"

#diego hargreeves #the umbrella academy #diego hargreeves smut #diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves imagine #diego hargreeves x male reader #smut #lemon

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snarkybluechristian · 5 years

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Hazbin Hotel: Angel vs Evil Drag Queen

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Four-month-old Cassie was not in the mood to be her daddy’s drag buddy that night. She had been fine for the first two hours, but now, she was hungry and she was wailing at the top of her lungs to let the whole world know it.

Angel tried to keep his daughter calm as he searched through the crowd of the club for his “wife.” Thankfully, Maggie found him.

“There, you are,” the 17-year-old mother said taking her baby in her arms from her “husband.” “I could hear you screamin’ from the bathroom, Cassandra. You got quite the pair of lungs, you poor thing.”

“She’s hungry, doll,” Angel replied rubbing his baby’s back while Maggie tried bouncing her up and down to calm her. “She keeps tryin’ to go after my bubs and is mad that they’re fake.”

“Poor baby,” Maggie said giving Cassie a kiss on the forehead. “You’re growing like a weed, too. Angel, is there anywhere private I can feed her? Those bathrooms are nasty.”

Angel thought for a second before he came up with an idea. It wasn’t the ideal situation for the young family, but it would do for now. They really needed to plan better in the future.

“Follow me,” Angel said.

Maggie followed Angel until they reached the booth on the right side of the club that was closest to the stage. It was empty and quiet since there were no acts scheduled for that weeknight and far enough away from the action that Maggie could feed Cassie with few expected interruptions.

“It won’t be private, but it’ll be comfortable for ya,” Angel said helping Maggie get settled and standing in front of her so no one would see her take off her blouse revealing her bra. “It ain’t perfect, but it’s the best I can do right now. I’m sorry. I should have planned this out better.”

Maggie lifted her milk-laden breast out of her bra and helped Cassie latch onto it. In no time at all, the baby girl was drinking up her milk and calming down.

“That’s it, Cassie,” Maggie said with a smile. “Calm down. You ain’t got nothin’ to worry about. Oh, Angel, sometimes I wish I could be this little again. Then, all I’d need to calm down would be a steady supply of mother’s milk.”

“I know what you mean, but I’d rather be the age I am now,” Angel said stroking Cassie’s hair. “I mean, if I was little, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate having a little one of my own.”

Maggie smiled at Cassie, then smiled back to Angel, and said, “I see what you mean. I do like being a mama.”

“Yeah,” Angel said taking his purple wrap off from around his shoulders and handing it to his “wife”. “Cover yourself up while I’m gone. I’m gonna go to the bar. Do you want anything, Mag?”

“A soda and some water, please,” Maggie said covering her breasts and her baby. “Nothin’ toxic. Mom said it could hurt my ability to feed the baby.”

“Got it, honey,” Angel said with a wink as he headed over to the counter to pick up some drinks for him and the “wife.”

Angel made it over to the counter and placed his order. Unfortunately, just as he finished, he heard a commotion coming from the direction of his “wife” and child.

Angel turned around and saw some strange man in a yellow drag outfit yelling at his “wife.” Maggie was yelling back, and Cassie was beginning to cry.

Angel felt his rage boil inside him and immediately strutted over as quick as his high heels would allow to come to her rescue.

As he got closer, he could hear some of the insults.

“Get out of here, ya slut!” the drag queen in the yellow dress yelled at Maggie. “No one wants to see that! It’s disgusting!”

“I ain’t going nowhere!” Maggie yelled back. “Just lay off! Will ya? I ain’t doin’ nothin’ to ya! Leave me alone! You’re upsetting the baby!”

“Not until you leave, you disgustin’ degenerate!”

“Oh, look who’s talkin’, ya fag!”

“SHUT UP!” Angel yelled as he got between Maggie and her harasser. “What the hell you botherin’ her for?”

“That chippy has got her tits hangin’ out feedin’ her bastard out in the open without shame!” the man said adjusting his platinum blonde wing. “It’s disgustin’! She shouldn’t be doin’ that here! It’s unnatural!”

Angel scoffed and said, “Unnatural?! Unnatural?! Oh, yeah. That means a lot comin’ from the queer wearin’ a dress! What the hell would you know about natural?”

“I know it ain’t natural to do in public,” the yellow drag queen said with a pout.

“So, she should just let the kid starve cuz she’s in public?” Angel retorted with an eye roll. “Blow it out your wazoo! My wife’s feeding her baby. My daughter! She’s doin’ the most natural thing on the planet! And if you have to get sore with my wife or my daughter, you and your garish dress can take a powder!”

“Why, I never!” the yellow drag queen said in a huff as he angrily began strutting away. “I’ll call management on you, your squeeze, and your illegitimate child!”

“Yeah, sure!” Angel yelled after him. “Just dust off already!”

The yellow drag queen angrily stormed off. Angel held his ground until the palooka was out of his sight before he climbed in the booth in front of his “wife” to block her from the view of anyone else.

“Sheesh, the nerve of some people…” Angel said before he noticed the sad expression on Maggie’s face as she tried to calm down their daughter. “Maggie, what’s wrong?”

Maggie sighed nervously as she bounced Cassie on her knees and said, “Angel, I know I’m a liberated woman and everything, but I think we just went too far. Maybe I should leave.”

Angel looked at her confusedly as the baby finally began to calm down enough to feed again and asked, “Maggie, what do you mean?”

“I know it’s a new world for women and everything,” Maggie said as she pulled up her blouse and helped Cassie latch on so that she could continue to nurse. “I mean, I’m a young mother with a job. That would have been unthinkable when my mother was a child. I’m proud of it, but I think I’m beginning to push my luck. I shouldn’t be out here in a club feeding my baby in public like this…”

“What are you saying?” Angel asked as he scooted closer to her. “Millions of women around the world breastfeed their babies in public. Why can’t you?”

“We ain’t in Bolivia or anywhere like that, Angel,” Maggie said still looking around nervously. “Women are expected to behave a certain way here in America. Don’t get me wrong. I am definitely a new woman, but maybe there are some things I still shouldn’t be doing…”

Angel finally scooted close enough to Maggie that he hugged her sideways and shared a long kiss with her.

“Angel?” Maggie said pulling away in surprise before Angel gave her another kiss on the cheek.

“Why the hell are ya letting some prude tell ya how you’re supposed to live your life?” Angel said giving Maggie another warm hug. “If you start doin’ that, you’ll never leave your house before too long. Besides, you ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong at all. Look how big and strong our baby girl is getting because of you…”

Angel gave Maggie another kiss on the mouth before she finally hugged him back and said, “Thank you. But please, be gentle. You might hurt Cassie if you go at me too hard. Why are you showing me so much affection anyhow?”

“Look behind me at the bar,” Angel said resting his head on Maggie’s shoulder to suck on her neck while she looked over to see the yellow drag queen staring daggers at them from the bar.

In an instant, Maggie understood.

“Are you tryin’ to make him jealous?” Maggie asked stroking her daughter’s back as she continued to nurse. “How do you know he even likes girls?”

Angel smiled and said, “He was checkin’ you out all night, doll. He was totally into ya. Why do you think he was so upset that you were nursing a baby? I thought as your ‘husband’ I could rub into his face what he will never have. I’m sorry. I guess I should have asked first.”

“It’s okay,” Maggie said with a sly smirk as she kissed Angel back. “If the palooka is watching, we might as well give him a show, right?”

“Hell, yes,” Angel said leaning over and kissing his baby girl on the top of her head.

#hazbinhotel angeldust

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pussymagicuniverse · 5 years

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Remember Who You Are

December 1996, just before my fifteenth birthday, visiting family in Ann Arbor. I escaped the familial tension by wandering Liberty Street, escaped the gray sky spitting snow by ducking into Schoolkids Records. I picked out a couple zines, then went looking for Team Dresch’s albums—Personal Best and Captain My Captain. At that point in my life I wanted every riot grrrl and queercore record I could get my grubby, gay little mitts on. I’d heard some Team Dresch tunes on comps and mix tapes, and adored them, but I hadn’t been able to track down their albums yet. I checked the punk and alternative section—where I assumed they’d be—but couldn’t find anything. So I approached the boy at the front counter, and said: “Um, do you have any Team Dresch albums?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said, “we have both of them.”

“I looked in the punk/alternative section, and didn’t see them.”

“That’s cuz they’re in the LGBT section.”

He pointed to a row of shelves near the back of the room. I was stunned—not only did they have an LGBT section, but the boy didn’t bat an eye when directing me toward it. I made my purchase, then stepped outside. As I stood there, deciding where to go next, wishing I had a clove cigarette, two girls walked by. One of them had a shaved head and a silver stud in her nose, the other had cat’s-eye glasses and chipped red nail polish, and they were holding hands. I was so fucking happy—queer zines and records in my hands and a grrl-couple holding hands in public—that I smiled. The girls returned my smile, and my baby-queer heart went boom-boom-bam, a bass drum in my chest.

Personal Best hurts to listen to. It takes me right back to those years, to the trapped feeling of being a queer teen in a midsize midwestern city—that feeling like I’d never get out, never find People Like Me. It takes me back to torturous crushes on unattainable girls. It takes me back to four years of not only questioning my sexual orientation, but tearing myself to shreds over it. “I love girls so much, I’m a lesbian. No, I think I’m really straight, I like boys so much. Fuck it, I like boys and girls, I’m bi. No, no, I’m really a lesbian. No, I’m more straight than queer, no I’m bi…” It hurts to listen to but it’s a good hurt. Team Dresch saved me, maybe more than any other band I listened to back in the day.

Personal Best is a raging punk album, made me wanna slam-dance in my room, all alone and gender/sexuality confused (hella short hair but I like to wear lipstick, am I a girl or a boy and do I wanna kiss girls or boys?). It made me wanna rip my queer heart out in rage and joy.

I could scream along when I was depressed, when I’d spent the last ten days of my life ripping off the Smiths. I could scream along when a straight girl crushed my mind, when F. shared a sleeping bag with me then left to go make out with some boy (or when she said: “I love you too, but I can’t handle it.”) Or after I fucked B., and she made me swear not to tell anyone cuz she didn’t want people thinking she was a dyke, I could sing: She’s not having a thought past thinking about why she was born this way.

When I tried to get over those girls, I sang along to the power pop jangle of “Freewheel”: I don’t need that girl to watch TV with. She’s just the same girl, over and over and over. And you can go back to your boyfriend. Freewheel!

Always, always there was “She’s Amazing,” which is a love song to women who write and sing, and I felt it all the time, I feel it all the time, about every girl and woman whose words have ever meant something to me, including Team Dresch themselves: She’s amazing, her words save me. She holds her head as if it’s truth.

“Fake Fight”—I cry out so my loneliness won’t get the best of me.

“#1 Chance Pirate TV,” an ode to Sinead O’Connor, another woman whose words saved me—Sometimes it feels alright, like when you rip up a picture of the Pope.

And “Growing Up In Springfield” was like growing up in Racine—I had the homophobic, born again friend (she said ‘you have a demon possession’), and my mother cried when I shaved my head.

Captain My Captain (dig the reference to Walt Whitman, queer (grand)daddy of American poetry) maybe didn’t hurt and heal me so frantically as Personal Best did, back in those days, but I have probably returned to it, related to it, more in the years since. It had, it has, so many anthems that sent small shreds of light into my darkest moments.

Like “Uncle Phranc”—My mom says she loves me, but I don’t think it’s love, cuz she only loves me when I act just like she does. And that’s emotional blackmail. But then there’s the complex, emotional, beautiful guitar work, and the hope that I might one day find an ‘Uncle Phranc’ of my own (and I did, from 2001-2003 I had my Uncle Phranc, but she is another story for another time).

Like “Don’t Try Suicide.” (She tells me I'm OK. I don't believe her, but it makes me feel better, anyway.)

“Take On Me,” well, it was less of an anthem in the aspirational sense, more of a feeling of “oh god it’s the story of my life.”—I’ve sat down in the middle of this mess I’ve made of letters & clothes. Wish I was anywhere with you. It seemed like all the girls I loved—at least the ones who loved me back—were across state lines, across the country, across an ocean.

“Yes I Am Too, But Who Am I Really?” is a heavy rocker, another one I danced to (alone in my room), all confused about who I loved and who I was—I’ll turn it around. I’m a contradiction. I don’t want to be a man.

“Musical Fanzine” is the anthem to end all anthems—Queer sex is great, it’s fun as shit. Don’t kill yourself cuz people can’t deal with your brilliance. (Sometimes I couldn’t remember why I wanted to live, then I thought of all the freaks and I didn’t want to miss this.)

Most of all, for me, Captain My Captain was and is about “Remember Who You Are.” When I wrote in my journal and played records, I sang along—I just want a public place where girls can meet each other’s stare. Sometimes that’s what it takes, to know you’re alive—to feel yourself burning just from some girl’s stare.

—

On May 31, both Personal Best and Captain My Captain (as well as a singles compilation), are being reissued by Jealous Butcher, and will be available for purchase and/or streaming across a variety of platforms. (https://lnk.to/teamdresch)

Jessie Lynn McMains is a poet, writer, zine-maker, and small press owner.

She’s also a queer womxn (she/her or they/them pronouns), a mama to two wild kiddos, and a witch who practices a blend of paganism and folk Catholicism. Aside from words, music is her favorite thing in the world. She’s also obsessed with tarot, the Midwest/Great Lakes/Rust Belt, ghosts, and the undying spirit of punk rock. Someone once referred to her as the Debbie Harry of poetry, and she still thinks that’s pretty rad.

You can find her website at recklesschants.net, or find her on Tumblr, Twitter, and Instagram @rustbeltjessie.

#riot grrrl #queercore #the smiths #schoolkids records #punk #creative non-fiction #jessie lynn mcmains #punk music #team dresch #LGBT #queer women #gender and sexuality #personal best

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dazzling-ji · 6 years

Text

aesthetic themed ask list

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

probably halo? still riding off the performance high tbh

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

can’t think of anything that i would want to know immediately that i couldn’t just wait for confirmation in prayer about...

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

so far? taking the steps necessary to actually pursue my dreams

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

kbbq with friends

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

probably tell my parents how i feel about them, same to my friends

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

not really. i have things i’d like to do, tho

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

as in a human being? um, she has obscenely small hands. her face is like shiny and red perpetually. she is tiny. she gets really excited over the smallest things, i.e. her cats or the sight of a corgi. lowkey highkey hates her hair unless it’s short. bane of my existence.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

bruh i wish. literally still trying to console younger me with each day.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

lowkey cried in front of my therapist as i told him i don’t cry in front of people. idk if he noticed or not (IT’S CUZ HE KEPT STARING AT ME WITH THOSE BIG SAD EMPATHETIC BLUE EYES. I DON’T NEED EMPATHY!!!) but the tears were threatening and i was threatening the tears.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

bruh, had to describe a human for the last one but this time i won’t. my best friend nam shin iii. because i love him and he’s great. wish he were real so i could teach him english and he could teach me korean and i could help him romance his girlfriend.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

i did when i was first meeting my therapist lol. i don’t trust people enough to do stuff like that.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

probably ye olde tiny handed one. she’s the only one who would try to stay up that late with me. doesn’t mean i don’t have to deal with her sleep delirium.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

it’d either be to myself or my mom. something along the lines of letting them know their worth.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

they aight. blue eyes are really scary 90% of the time. brown eyes make more sense to me.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“different doesn’t mean wrong” said by one of my late faves, who i honestly felt was a kindred spirit 99.999% best friend match to me. not gonna get into why the quote is so deep to me, all i’ll say is it allowed me to breathe.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

indigko

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

pay off debts, travel, save, give to charities/church, save some more, maybe make a trust fund?

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

with God, yeah. by myself? depends. i can be kind of hypocritical and times.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

guess i know what to tag this ask meme now

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

punk for sure.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

super cool. was thinking of getting either a septum or normal nose ring. wish tattoos made a bit more sense on dark skin, but either way they’re super painful so maybe i lucked out.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

i don’t. don’t wanna ruin my skin and i like the natural look over a beat face. i like people looking realistic if that makes sense?

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

so many people to talk about, but my ex-fave prince helped me realize i was ace.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

i wouldn’t. at least not rn, don’t have anything revolutionary to tell em. maybe something like “Please remember we’re dealing with human beings” or along those lines, because I’m tired of reading about racists and human rights violations who real life be forgetting that aside from differences in race/gender/sexuality/etc/etc we are all human and worthy of love.

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

stromae @ msg - super fun! wish the people behind me didn’t try to waste my time and sit at a dance music concert.

nai palm @ brooklyn (i forget the venue) - also super great. it was great to actually see her irl, and allowed me to realize i can actually socialize without too much problem.

garth brooks @ mercedes benz - yikes ppl in the south RLY like their country music huh?

kimbra @ brooklyn (also forget the venue) - LIVE MUSIC CAN BE SO EXPERIMENTAL AND FUN. kind of reminded me of what i’d heard seeing prince irl was like.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

NYU - You have no outstanding balances. We have a $1 mil scholarship that will be applied to your account as of today. We love you. In fact, we’re gonna wipe away all your student loan debt and ensure no one in your family has to worry about paying for anything ever again in their lives.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

my desk always gets cluttered with papers and stuff. but i really do prefer working at a desk rather than a bed.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

stall as long as possible until i REALLY need to go to sleep. grumble as i lazily brush my teeth and rinse my retainer. lie in bed and watch youtube for anywhere between 30 min to 3 hrs before actually turning off.

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

call me crazy, but i want my parents to know about me and *gasp* like what they realize. like lemme tell em i’m ace and have them not freak out, idk.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

blue or purple. but probably a wig or something impermanent.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

THE FAB FIVE. WHY AM I SO DUMB. we’d go makeover their next person on queer eye OR even better we’d just hang out

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

1. the aforementioned letter from nyu because i deserve it, ok?

2. a life i don’t feel like i have to run away from because i hate living like this but feel powerless to change it.

3. a cool best friend i could go cool places with, because i wanna go cool places

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

i cosplay’d as Taemin during the Ace era. It was cool because it basically was my style, so I felt super confident all day looking my best.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

I do neither. But the craziest thing I did half-asleep was convince myself I could still talk to the aforementioned tiny handed weirdo and answer her questions though my head was firmly planted on my pillow and i was neatly tucked under my sheets. like i really thought homegirl could read my thoughts and find the answers she needed to her questions.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

like donald trump

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

maybe one person - i’d see myself the way God sees me so I wouldn’t be so powerless against my insecurities and the fake people in the world all the time.

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love.

idk? i’m ace and aro and very aesthetically drawn, so i really don’t know if i ever have.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?

i prefer myself with longer hair tbh.

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

hot chocolate if i wanna blend in. otherwise a strawberry acai refresher. i trust any of my friends because it’s really not that deep.

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

gaining self-confidence so i can step more firmly into my calling.

fin.

#blurb ideas #ask meme

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housebearshouseparty420 · 7 years

Text

I never wanted to be a revolutionary, I just want to eat candy and watch cartoons all day.

Around noon I got a phone call from the clinic. A lot of times I get a call, sometimes automated, sometimes a secretary and the exchange lasts about 30 seconds. "Hi, can you come in tomorrow?” “Okay” “Great!" And it's cool.

I was dead a-fuckin'-sleep and answered to 'Kenny?' “Speaking!" I said, not wanting to do the whole awkward 'That's me! This is he?' runaround when you're caught off guard, which I very much was. I have social anxiety, I have to rehearse my menu options before I get to the restaurant, it’s bad. I didn't even have time to fake lower my voice to sound gruffer. I was hoping it would be an easy 'Yes? Okay! I'll be there. Bye.' It wasn't. It was a real talk. Who even talks on the phone anymore right?

It was the national director of the clinic or something, I didn’t really catch the title. Someone very high up, she is the person who runs things. She got an email from the social worker saying things hadn't been perfect, and I thought this might be the case. I had straight-up said I wasn't mad, I didn't think anyone was doing it on purpose. I told the social worker before I left, “I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.”

So, she asks about my experience at the clinic and I’m like, 'Uhhh less than ideal? Well... I DO like to be called by my name? I don't care what forms say, a requisition with my old name actually makes a lot of sense, but in casual conversation, this matters a lot. If a William wanted to be called Bill I'd hope they wouldn't have to do a big dance... I'm not MAD I just I've really tried?'

Apparently, they are were already planning on changing computer systems, right now it is very binary: Female/Male but they’re hoping the new system will have more options.

And I didn't say, 'I am male, that's the point!' I said, "That's great. There should be an 'other' or little trans box, because a non-binary person might like to be called 'they' or whatever and it should be there as a courtesy."

I was pretty much on the verge of a panic attack the whole time, I mentioned that we had specifically chosen this place based on their little blurb on the website about working with trans people before.

She said that they had, and that's why this was so unacceptable, since inclusivity was like one of their pillars or mission statement or whatever she said, so it's really important to them that everyone feels safe/respected.

So they've talked to the staff, some of it was as easy as explaining that the computer deadnaming me, some techs with English as their second language needing it spelled out for them and society changing, so I mean I get it. They're all taking it very seriously and I do appreciate it, I told her so.

My wife works 9-5 so she hasn't been able to go to every appointment with me, but she's always really good about gently reinforcing my preferences so, right before the sono the worst of the tests, she says she told the tech: 'Actually, he likes to be called Kenny' and by the time I got back from the washroom they were like 'Okay deadname if you could lie down' And I was like, 'Soooo... I am in hell.'

I told the director that it’s really just that any hospital environment is stressful (A nurse and I had a cool talk about white coat syndrome making people extra nervous) at the best of times without being called 'Ma'am.' I'm already uncomfortable enough just being there without making it worse, or using the emotional energy that I need to get me through the more invasive procedures to start correcting and educating people. Trans people should be taken more seriously. It's just not my job when it's a place that says they've already been through this multiple times with other patients.

Like, it's not just transmasculine people carrying a child, it could be a transmasculine person donating their eggs to a cis female partner, a trans woman going off of estrogen long enough that she can fertilize an egg. (I kinda hate that word, I spent a lot of time on a farm and my mind goes straight to poop.) I’d hate for her to be misgendered in that situation too. And just non-binary people existing. She agreed that in this day and age it shouldn't have to be a big thing.

As a society, we've had over a decade to get used to the idea of fathers carrying. Thomas Beatie started laying the foundation for this in 2007 and I'm sure he was hardly the first, just the first most people had heard of. It made me internalize things really weirdly because my mom was like ‘OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS CRAZY THING ON THE TV!’ He was so so brave to do this, but I had to hear opinions I wasn’t ready to hear and it scared me. I always felt weird about the movie 'Junior' as a kid. Where Arnold Schwarzenegger's character, a cis man is part of a fertility experiment. In health class, the teacher had joked about in the year 2200 there would probably be womb transplants on men, except that no man would want to. Pregnant men were a punchline and it just rubbed me wrong.

I never knew how to make the distinction that I wanted kids but didn't want to be a mother. I wasn't really even out as queer yet. I faced homophobic backlash even when I did deny it, but I knew that much. I'd get so mad when people would talk about my future children, not because I didn't want them, but sometimes I just wondered if I could find anyone and that I literally could not think of a world where I would feel safe enough where I could get married let alone have kids.

I've seen such a difference in the last 15 years, so much has changed for the better, with both laws and people’s attitudes in Canada, but it's still a scary world. I feel sick when I think about trans people in the bible belt. But at 17 I never dreamed that I would be on the phone with a big wig having a real, genuine conversation about how to make things better for gender non-conforming people. (I guess I better actually transition after this if I'm starting shit!)

The only reason I'm containing my anxiety so well is because I knew even half asleep that this was one of the rare times when someone was genuinely trying to help me and actually had the power to make a difference, that if I did speak up I would be making it that much easier for the next (pre-T) guy to come in trying to have a baby so he can just live his life and after the first day could go home like, 'It was fine! They called me he! They got it! Maybe this isn't going to be as bad as I thought!'

#just kenny vents #long post

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