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mins-fins · 1 month

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OH FUCK YOU CUPID! [PREVIEW].

❝may the best man win!❞

SYNOPSIS: where resident "cupid" zhong chenle wants to cause mayhem, and maybe start a fight too, so he sets up three of the most competitive guys he knows with none other than you. now— they are at each other's throat trying to get your attention, and also score a date with you.

PAIRING: lee jeno, lee donghyuck, & na jaemin x male!reader

GENRE: university au, romantic comedy, sort of matchmaker au??, actually theres angst too, three stubborn boys fight over a very confused one, 00z (besides renjun) going insane over a MAN

WARNINGS: swearing, explicit language, unrealistic romantic situations, childish behavior, somewhat possessive behavior, mentions of sex but no smut, mentions of drinking, an abuse of italics, lots of date crashing

WORD COUNT: 1.5k (preview) | est. 12k–15k (full fic)

NOTES: if you can forgive me for not updating for like two days, take this as my little apology 🙁 yeah so this spawned out of ANOTHER draft i began that hasn't been touched since december, but i reread it and i just sort of changed up the synopsis and love interests!! yeah anyway this is isa's multi-pairing debut, but this is also only a preview, the real thing is much more messy! i can't promise WHEN it's going to come out because i genuinely do have a lot going on.. but it is halfway done! um yeah tysm for waiting for me!! alright bye😖

YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN CONFUSED LIKE YOU ARE NOW. when you heard a knock on your door, accompanied by the sound of two muffled voices bickering behind it, you expected it to be one of your classmates, chenle and jisung coming to ask for another stupid favor, or your lab partner coming to get extra notes for your project. you usually don't let people into your dorm after six pm, mostly because after six pm is time you spend strictly studying, and you do not need distractions when you're gonna be up all night losing sleep.

but no, none of that, you guess you aren't that good at predicting your fate.

when you open the door, rubbing your eyes, which hurt from the hours you spent staring down several biology papers, you pause at the sight before you.

there are three boys there, two of them going back and forth whilst one stands silent between them. their arguing must distract them enough that they don't notice you standing in the doorway, staring at the two of them like they're crazy.

"um".

why do you say um? maybe the general confusion of the situation is what makes your brain short circuit in that very moment, but you don't exactly have any actual words you can say. there is no reason these three very attractive guys should be at your doorstep at this time.

as quickly as you utter that word, you regret it, because the two formerly bickering guys turn their heads right towards you, gazes focused on you and only you.

suddenly, it feels like all of your senses heighten, your hands become sweaty, your breathing seems to become louder, and your face heats up to the point that your sure steam is going to start pouring out of your ears.

of course, you recognize the three at your doorstep, but the situation still doesn't click for you.

on the left is na jaemin, resident pretty boy na jaemin, the two of you had a political science together in your sophomore year, and while he did always seem to want to be more than friends, you chalked that up to his habit of looking like he's in love with all of his friends. his flirtatious words and romantic references never meant anything to you, because he's like that with every other pretty guy that goes to your school.

in the middle is lee jeno, class crush lee jeno, you know him because of a get together renjun forced the two of you to be apart of way back in your freshmen year, and while jeno is nothing short of beautiful, he's nothing like jaemin. jeno is less obvious in the romantic department, of course he has so many people falling at his feet, and you can't blame them. he's gorgeous, a true work of art, and the two of you have been told on certain occasions that you'd be a great couple, but nothing ever seemed to come out of that.

and on the right, lee donghyuck, star student lee donghyuck, always the top student, always wins the awards, you unfortunately know him the best out of the three, considering the two of you spent all summer together. it didn't go as well as you wanted it to, some things happened between the two of you that you don't feel like explaining right now. you haven't had a genuine talk since school began, both of you trying hard to erase that little summer fling away from your minds. you think he might be a little insane, much too smart for everyone's own good, but you can't look past his ethereal beauty either.

so what are these three doing on your doorstep on a school night?

before you can ask that exact question, donghyuck answers it for you.

"i'm here to take you out on a date".

you almost collapse onto the floor.

jaemin's eyebrows furrow, and he's quick to turn and glare at the older. "no you're not!"

"yes i am! i got here first!"

"you did not! and even if you did y/n doesn't want to go out with you—"

"i suggest you watch your tone, na".

you blink, dumbfounded at the news bestowed upon you. the two continue their back and forth argument, and your face only heats up more as it dawns on you that they're arguing about you, about taking you out on a date.

you don't know how you stand your ground.

"you too?" you barely manage the words, feeling as if you were about to pass out at any second, and you point your index finger at jeno, the most silent of the bunch.

he only nods. "i was hoping saturday..?"

"that makes no se— wait, you were hoping WHAT!?"

jaemin's screech is enough to make the once stone cold jeno flinch. a look of offense crosses the older lee's face, and any tranquility he had disappeared in an instant. "y/n and i are going out saturday".

"says who!?"

"says me?"

"he didn't even agree to your offer" donghyuck glares daggers at jeno, who imitates his gaze. he's pissed, and so is jeno, and so is jaemin, all three of them are pissed. "don't get so confident".

"it doesn't matter" jeno answers like it's a matter of a fact. "he likes me more than he does you".

"oh yeah?"

"yeah he does" jeno whispers as he leans closer to donghyuck, the words a taunting mantra to the younger, who looks seconds away from punching him. "he wouldn't go on a date with you even if you offered him a hundred dollars".

"you should really watch what you say".

"really? i'd love to see you even try and land a punc—"

"who sent you three here?"

your question is enough to get the two to stop arguing, and they slowly move away from each other. jeno pokes his tongue against the inside of cheek, and donghyuck just crosses his arms, an eye roll accompanying his action. jaemin gives the two a judgmental glance before focusing all of his attention on you again. "chenle".

"chenle?"

"well chenle told me—"

"chenle didn't tell you anything".

"how are you so sure? if i remember correctly, you said you weren't into y/n" jaemin grits his teeth, eyes pointed at donghyuck, who scoffs, humored by the words.

"since when? i'm the only one here whose ever done anything with y/n, you're too busy around with other guys and jeno's too much of a coward to confess".

"please, coward? if you're so in love with y/n maybe you should've told him that instead of ghosting him, that's pretty cowardly behavior".

you watch the three begin going back and forth, absolutely speechless. why are they fighting over you? why did chenle tell them to come here? why does this have to happen right now?

"i— um, shit uh" you awkwardly chuckle, hoping you don't sound as pathetic as you feel. "maybe we can chat about this tomorrow yeah? yeah! right, um, goodnight!"

you don't think twice before slamming the door on their faces, locking it behind you. you slide down the door and collide with the floor, face red, thoughts all over the place, and only one sentiment echoing in your mind.

you are going to murder zhong chenle.

"great job, hyuck, you scared him off".

donghyuck finds jaemin's audacity hilarious, so hilarious he even laughs. "i scared him off? if anything jeno did!"

"i didn't do anything" jeno argues, he really doesn't how the younger is speaking to him at the moment. "your just mad y/n's gonna end up going out with me instead".

"woah woah, who said that?"

"i mean.. we all know".

"whose we?" donghyuck challenges. "because, and don't take this personally, you couldn't even confess to the guy before this, what makes you think he'll want to go on a date with you?"

"you know your really getting on my nerves right now".

"okay okay you two" jaemin curses in his mind, how did he end up being the most sensible of the three? "don't start anything physical, it's y/n's choice at the end of the day.."

"which is why it's stupid of donghyuck here to think y/n wants to go anywhere with him".

donghyuck rolls his eyes again, but instead of looking at jeno this time, he looks at jaemin. "no, he's right, it's y/n's choice, and i'm gonna do everything to make sure i'm the one he's with on saturday".

"get over yourself" jeno remarks, glancing over at your door. "your not going to end up with him".

donghyuck hums, a snicker added onto it. "alright then, watch me prove you wrong".

"i'd love to see you try".

jaemin looks between the two, oh this is bad, this is very bad, but he isn't about to let them be able to take you out before him.

"may the best man win, then" jaemin gives the two overly aggressive pats on the back before turning around and walking the other way.

he doesn't care, he's getting that date.

#nct #nct dream #lee jeno #lee donghyuck #na jaemin #nct dream au #nct dream x reader #nct dream imagines #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #jeno x reader #jeno x male reader #haechan x reader #haechan x male reader #jaemin x reader #jaemin x male reader #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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changbunnies · 4 months

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Crave, Part 2 (18+)

♡ Pairing: Romantic Demon!Hyunjin x Human Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: supernatural au, demon au, age gap relationship typical in monster fucker fics, coworkers to lovers and love triangle vibes :')

♡ Word Count: 6.5k

♡ Summary: "The more a thing is perfect, the more it feels pleasure and pain." - Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy. In which Hyunjin, a demon from the nine circles of hell, finds himself impossibly infatuated with the very human he once set upon himself to destroy.

♡ Warnings: this is a part 2! read part 1 here, more immoral behavior and thoughts + ideas from hyunjin ofc, supernatural abilities, themes of possesiveness and jealousy, more talks of sinful acts / feelings from the perspective of a demon, reader's age is not specified but it is implied to be at least mid twenties.

♡ Notes: sorry ya'll it took longer for this to come out than i intended, i wasn't feeling well so i was resting ;v; and tbh i still don't feel well but i really wanted to keep writing so i powered thru to get this done!! this part is story focused but dw, explicit smut is coming next <3 the focus here is building up their relationship so that the smut feels like a natural development and they aren't just instantly in love lol i hope you enjoy it!

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

How do you make a human fall in love? A question that is perhaps simple in theory, but Hyunjin hasn't wooed a human in centuries, and much has changed since he last blended in with society. In the modern age of technology, sin is at the most rampant it's ever been. The common man can access all manner of sin from the palm of his hand with a single device, and it has made the act of integrating into human society an unnecessary practice for demons.

There's a plethora of human sin to feed from at any given moment, and obsolete is the need for a demon to blend in with the humans that walk the earth, no longer required to be a snake in the community garden just waiting for their moment to strike and consume. Though an outdated method to obtain their wants, integration with humans can still be done, if only the demon in question wishes to do so- and as Hyunjin has come to realize, he does if he wants to win over the object of his desire.

Despite how long it's been since Hyunjin walked among them, he wasn't ignorant of modern human culture; he still had to be well-informed if he wanted to be effective and efficient in sowing the seeds of sin in feeble minds, after all- his work in the second circle required such knowledge, and it was also a benefit when it came to deciding which soul he would drink from to sustain himself.

He knew perfectly well how to use most modern technology, knew how to dress in a manner that was unique to his own tastes but suited the trends of the era, and whatever "pop culture" knowledge he lacked, as it was called by humans, he could blame it on things such as "preferring to stay off social media," or "not watching much tv or playing much games," and most would take it as a fair, reasonable enough excuse, even if the person asking questions of him could not relate to his answer.

In the last century especially, most of Hyunjin's public outings were limited to a few hours at most, spending that entire time scoping out who'd sustain his cravings the most. Nightclubs in particular were an easy place for Hyunjin to get a quick fix of the lust he needed, sustaining him well enough when his preferred love-drenched lust was still being built to its peak.

Despite all his experience in human matters, there was something that posed a problem for him initially. Since moving into your lavish suite, you worked from home- a luxury Hyunjin assumes you have from a high ranking position within whatever company you work for (especially if this is the kind of place you can afford to live in on a single salary.) But if you only ever left the house long enough to run errands, how was he supposed to meet you organically? And further still, how does he meet you in such a way that makes contact with you consistent, that makes you want to talk with him and be in his presence?

He could, theoretically, stage a meeting, pretend to be a neighbor entering the building at the same time or "accidentally" bump into you while shopping for something he has absolutely no use for, only to then charm you the moment your eyes lock with his. The problem with that approach is that charming you defeats the purpose of what he wants; for you to have genuine, real love for him, and only him. And asking you out after meeting you just once, in a situation where you have no reason to connect with him further, could be uncomfortable or off-putting in the eyes of women. What woman likes to be hit on by a stranger while she's grocery shopping?

Hyunjin's human form is attractive, sure, but looks can only carry him so far when it comes to making a woman fall for him. His appearance is useful for one night stands, but he needs to show you more substance than that if he wants you to desire him beyond the physical- and he was sure based on his observations of your character that you weren't vain or superficial enough to fall for him based on looks alone.

Thankfully, he didn't have to ponder on these questions for much longer, because only a few short days after you finished all your unpacking and decorated your apartment to your liking, you returned to work. He could tell easily enough what your destination was when your routine suddenly deviated; for the first time since moving in, you had turned on a repeating alarm for 6 A.M, and your choice of business casual clothing and subtle, office appropriate makeup told him all he needed to know.

Hyunjin followed you there, naturally; presence hidden, lingering in the shadows with the intent to best establish how to infiltrate your work environment. As he expected, you held a high ranking position inside a corporate office- head of human resources for one of the many subsidiaries of some conglomerate Hyunjin had never heard of, as typically there is no need or reason for him to be well versed in human's business dealings.

Becoming someone you work with directly would be the best route, he was sure. Whether on equal ground or as someone answering to you on a team, it was the option that gave him the most opportunity to create a connection with you, and maybe be the start of one of those sappy office romances that humans seem to enjoy in their media.

It was fine if there were no employment openings- it'd be simple for Hyunjin to create one by exerting his influence over a human's mind. He'd pick out whomever you liked the least, someone who bothered you either overtly or simply by being an inefficient worker, and he'd take their place. He could plant the idea of a career change, a desire to move across the country, or simply get them fired should the gentler, subtle approach be deemed too time consuming for Hyunjin's taste.

Of course, Hyunjin knew jack fucking shit about how your job truly works or what would be required of him if he was on your team, but that was fine too- it would be easy for him to fake his performance when necessary, and charm any who questioned his work abilities. He wouldn't enjoy lying to you directly if there was ever a need for it but, well.. The ends justify the means, don't they? And while he wouldn't charm you for love, certainly it wouldn't hurt to do so to make him appear a better worker than what he would be in reality, right?

No matter what his hypocritical justifications were, he’d do anything necessary to make you his, even if it meant having to lie at times. It was a foreign feeling, being conflicted about lying when typically lying came second nature to a demon, but he supposed his infatuation for you is what makes it feel different. Is that why truth was considered a godly virtue? It was the first time in his life that just the thought of lying, before it could even be an act done in the first place, felt.. wrong.

Maybe because on some subconscious level he recognized that love woven from lies isn’t true, no matter how much he’d wish it to be. Even if you fell sincerely in love with him, would it still satisfy him to have gotten there based on tricks and lies? When he determined that the answer to that question was a firm “no,” he vowed he would do his best to keep lies far from his lips when it came to you, even if that made his goal more difficult to achieve. Strange, how this was easily the most human he’d ever felt.

In a way, it is almost natural to feel this way, to be met with internal conflict for the first time in ages; most demons are born directly from human sin, after all. What is he, if not the physical manifestation of a human who has fallen from perfection? More powerful than a mere human though he was, his proverbial soul still held an innate inclination towards sin, the struggle with temptation and decadence inherent to his very being, as hypocrisy and corruption went hand in hand with sin, hand in hand with the very human condition he would oft wrongfully deny he felt.

And that wasn’t the only human emotion that came to him when he watched you at work for the first time. Most of the morning was spent rather uneventfully, Hyunjin’s time dedicated entirely to scoping out the environment and determining where he’d best fit within your corporate world. He observed the people on your team, who was designated where and what their duties were, keeping track of what feelings and opinions you had for whom, looking out for who he would be able to effectively replace.

Without warning, he sensed it, felt it, tasted it- love, seeping out of your pores, heart suddenly alight and a smile that should be reserved for him lingering on your lips. Jealousy pricked Hyunjin’s skin before he could even fully process the scene before him, a deep fondness in your eyes as a man that Hyunjin could only assume was from another department approached you with a smile of his own.

Shit. It was expected that he would find out who you loved eventually, but he didn’t anticipate that it would be here, in the very environment he was setting up to be the stage for your romance with him. The man asked you questions and talked in ways you’d expect to hear between friends or coworkers- “how’d the move go?”, “are you settling in well?”, and “you should invite me over sometime!”

It was the last statement that made Hyunjin’s eye twitch with suppressed anger, not much liking the idea of the person you’re in love with being alone with you in your apartment. Every time you giggled at something he said or blushed when the man held your gaze, it nearly made him sick with envy. Fuck him, he didn’t deserve you, Hyunjin thought, I'm better than him in every conceivable way, that should be me.

This man didn’t love you the way you loved him; Hyunjin could tell, could feel the platonic affection that radiated from him. And instead of being happy about the implication that Hyunjin would have no rival for your affection when he pursued you in earnest, it almost made him more pissed off. This guy didn’t even know how fucking perfect you were, didn’t seem to notice the way your eyes sparkled with affection, how your heart raced when he hugged you, or the bashful smile that lingered when he invited you to share your lunch hour with him.

He’s a complete fucking idiot for not being head over hells for you- you, who’s only sin is lust, who is beautiful, intelligent, humble, and positively radiant in presence without even realizing just how much value she truly has. It’s okay, he has to remind himself, it’s a good thing his one-sided rival doesn’t share your sentiment; because when Hyunjin shows you how beautiful you are, treats you with the reverence you deserve, your heart would surely shift to beat for him instead. He’ll make sure of it.

You let out a sigh as you comb through the next resume that found its way to your desk, exhausted from the amount of interviews you've conducted today. This was probably your least favorite aspect of your job if you were being honest; being the head of human resources put you in charge of all recruiting efforts, scanning through countless applications to determine who was the best fit for the company, but you never enjoyed doing it.

It always makes you feel guilty to determine someone else's worth based on a flimsy piece of paper and interview first impressions, where nerves are almost always at their peak as the person sitting across from you makes their best conscious effort to impress you. It is also not a job you can delegate to someone else on your team, unfortunately; your place at the top of the HR department made all hiring decisions entirely up to your own discretion. And apart from the guilt of knowing you couldn't hire everyone that walked through your door, it was so tiring to go over the same questions multiple times a day with a myriad of strangers.

Hwang Hyunjin was the name of the last person you'd be interviewing today (much to your relief) and you hoped he'd be the person to wow you in the end, as you have lukewarm feelings to who you've met thus far. Despite the impressive credentials on most resumes you reviewed, none of the people you'd met seemed to be a good long term fit for the company; some of them would likely only be good as temps, needing to be let go unless they showed substantial improvement in the areas they were lacking in.

It was a terrible thing to judge someone based on whether or not they were able to calm their nerves or had enough charisma, but when working for corporate conglomerates you can't afford to be meek. It was okay to be shy and reserved in your personal life, many people in the office were, but for the sake of professionalism you're required to have the ability to put meek tendencies aside. If the interviewee couldn't speak with confidence, then you had reason to believe they'd crack under the daily pressures of speaking with representatives of other departments or when handling sensitive negotiations.

Unfortunately, you don't typically have the luxury of giving applicants the benefit of the doubt or the ability to give them the opportunity to change your first impression of them. You take a glance at the clock hanging above the door to your office, opposite of your desk; it's just a few short minutes until you meet your last applicant, and you pray he'll be the person you've been looking for. Despite how desperate you are to fill the hole in your team after Mina's extremely abrupt resignation and move out of the country, you still don't want to hire just to fill the gap she left- you want someone capable and confident on your team.

You take one last passing glance at the man's resume, making sure you're familiar with his education and work history, not wanting to be mistaken on any of the details listed. A short succession of knocks are heard on your door a few moments later, and you look up from the resume you're rereading to see Nayeon opening the door just enough for her head to come into view. "M-Ma'am, H-Hwang Hyunjin, uh- he's here for his interview," she speaks in a timid voice, face flushed the brightest pink you'd ever seen on her.

Your brows furrow ever so slightly in wonder and concern at her out of character demeanor; Nayeon is among the most confident and well spoken employees on your team, and you've never known her to stutter or appear so off kilter. "..Right, send him in," you say after a moment, wondering if her attitude shift is due to the stranger you'd be meeting shortly; if that is the case, you'll have to talk to her about it once the interview is over- you wouldn't want to hire someone the people on your team are uncomfortable around.

She nods and opens the door further, the silhouette of the taller man coming into view just slightly behind her. "Right in here," she mutters, stepping to the side and motioning for Hyunjin to enter your office. It becomes immediately apparent what the reason for Nayeon's abnormal behavior is; Hwang Hyunjin is easily one of the most beautiful men you've ever seen in your entire life.

Black hair that just begins to touch his shoulders tucked neatly behind his ears, a few strands left untouched to frame his face, accompanied by wide circle glasses that seem to further enhance his beauty. He's dressed well, his suit modern and sleek but not overly formal for the setting, his accessories tasteful and understated, as they should be in an office environment- just a simple, long chain necklace and small, almost dainty hoops on his pierced ears.

The reason that a man this gorgeous would even be applying to work here when he could easily make a fortune being a model is beyond you. You're quick to correct the initial surprise on your face, hoping that the man you'll be interviewing didn't notice how struck by his beauty you were when he stepped in. And how could you even know that he did notice you had a reaction to him- and not because of any overtly obvious expression of attraction, but because he could hear the beating of your heart with his inhuman ears, its steady rhythm taking a sudden, erratic jump the very moment he first stepped through the door.

Nayeon is quick to close the door behind Hyunjin once he has stepped fully inside your office, leaving you in privacy for what will likely be the most difficult interview you have ever conducted, and not for the reasons you would've otherwise expected. "Have a seat," you speak clearly, as if your heart wasn't stuttering just mere moments ago, motioning for Hyunjin to take one of the chairs sitting opposite of your desk. "Pleasure to meet you, Hyunjin," you say after he's taken a seat, politely holding out your hand to shake his.

"Likewise, ma'am. I'm grateful to be considered for this position," he responds with a smile so effortlessly charming that you have to once again remind yourself that this is a professional setting and you shouldn't be thinking about how handsome the potential new addition to your team is. If you were a worse woman with lesser morals, you'd hire him on appearance alone- his flawless skin, plush, soft, almost inviting lips, and the little mole that sits daintily under his left eye are all positively bewitching to look at.

You collect yourself after a brief mental scolding, deciding to get straight into the most pertinent questions you have once he's settled in his seat, opting to waste no time in getting straight to the point. While this approach does make the interview more tense for the applicant, you find it best to go about it this way to make sure they're truly ready for the sort of discussions that will be expected of them should they get hired. You don't expect perfection, but more accurately determination- if they can maintain a confident air about them under pressure, that's typically a good indicator to you they'll be a good fit for your team.

Equally, you don't mind if they stumble over their words a few times throughout the course of the interview as long as they show the ability to bounce back from any slip ups. Error is expected at some point, as we are all human- you just want to assess their ability to come back from a mistake when speaking, and to see if they are able to maintain their composure in situations that may not be the most ideal or comfortable.

The ease at which Hyunjin answers your questions has you convinced that he's perfect. He speaks confidently, coming across as self-assured and charismatic, not at all stuttering or faltering when you ask him to speak candidly with his own words. You appreciate a well rehearsed answer of course, but you like to ascertain whether or not the person you're considering for the job is able to maintain confidence when not using an internal script or reciting their memorized resume.

Some struggle to do so, losing confidence in themselves the moment they are expected to go off the cuff, while others find it to be a trick question of sorts, as if you're baiting them to say a flaw that would place them out of consideration for the position they're applying for. What you value most on your team is adaptability- it's okay to falter for a brief moment, as long as they are able to collect themselves quickly and continue where they left off. And Hyunjin's ability to do just that is utterly astounding.

He has an almost effortless sort of confidence and charisma about him; something unique and special that you don't often see, a state of being that isn't learned, but rather is innate to who he is. Even when he briefly pauses or lets out a small "hmm" as he thinks about his answer to your question, it never feels like he's struggling to find his answer- more accurately, it seems that he already knows what his answer is, and is just pondering on the best way to phrase it before speaking.

It seemed that even his unrehearsed, unfiltered answers were nearly perfect, his ability to speak leaving you almost in awe. Truly, in the year and a half it's been since you were promoted to head of human resources, you'd never conducted an interview where the person you were speaking to seemed this effortlessly natural and comfortable in what is otherwise a tense situation. Honestly, you'd be a fool not to hire him right on the spot- his ability speaks for itself, and you're confident that any weaknesses he has can be corrected quickly and easily with more experience in the work environment.

So you congratulate him, smiling as you once again hold out your hand and welcome him as part of your team. And Hyunjin smiles too as he takes your hand in his, knowing that this is just the start of what is his grand plan to make you his.

In the months it’s been since you first hired Hyunjin, he’s come to learn so much more about you than he did just lingering around in your apartment, and with that has come an even deeper appreciation and desire to have you. Your good nature, which he knew you had from little interactions at shops and cafes, was now able to be fully seen by him- from the way you cared about your team, treated them like equals despite the fact that you were their superior in rank, and how you encouraged and fostered true friendships between everyone on your team.

You held so much sincere care for everyone around you, and you lead with compassion and kindness at the forefront. If someone was sick, having an off day due to mental health, or simply felt the pressures of life weighing them down, you always met them with compassion, encouraged them to get better, and never made them feel bad about themselves for any small slip ups that occurred while they were struggling with something.

Of course, in this line of work it’s vital that they show up always ready to do their utmost best and show others the best versions of themselves, but you weren’t some militant manager that expected people to always be at 100%. It’s unrealistic, and hypocritical to expect perfection, so instead you always did your best to accommodate them when they were low, and that consideration resulted in your coworkers and employees having a great deal of respect for you, and caused them to always put in their best effort.

By extension, your care for your team resulted in equal care towards you, and it seemed they greatly missed you when you were absent due to your move. They had fine enough leadership while you were gone, sure, but it wasn’t the same without you- the one who made them feel comfortable, secure, and made them want to perform well at their jobs. What Hyunjin felt watching you was something akin to pride- and it was strange, as he had never felt pride for someone else before, usually not even for himself.

He just liked seeing you succeed, if he had to guess; he liked knowing the woman he desired was not only beautiful in body but also in soul, just as he suspected her to be when he first came to put aside his anger and truly know her for who she is. What a happy accident it was, that he happened to be gone when you finalized your move to suite 13; because otherwise how would he ever have known what it was like to care about someone other than himself? To understand what it is that makes a human God’s greatest creation?

He gets it now, he thinks- why God prioritized humanity, why he loves them despite how flawed and drenched with sin they are. And again, it occurs to Hyunjin how hypocritical he was before, and continues to be even now, how foolish it is for him, the very embodiment of sin, a being who is supposed to uphold depravity and ruin, to be infatuated with you, who is the very image of benevolence.

Hyunjin got to see so many new sides of you, sides that didn’t make themselves known within the 4 walls of your apartment, sides that made him fall for you more and more. A demon can’t experience love the way a human does, but he thinks this is the closest to love a creature like him will ever have. Obsession, longing, desire.. Isn’t that all a manifestation of love? Perhaps one does not need a true heart and soul to experience what love is, maybe all that one really requires is feeling.

Most sins are a feeling- lust, pride, envy; all are an emotion you feel strongly within your gut, a natural reaction that cannot be prevented from pricking your skin or making your stomach twist. It’s innate, woven into the DNA of every creature with higher understanding. With all that mind, who is to say a demon can’t love? Maybe it won’t be felt in the same way a human feels it, but if love is a feeling, and sins are a feeling, then what truly prevents him from knowing love?

As equally as he learned about you and himself, he also learned about the man you had developed feelings for- Yunho. According to Nayeon, who was apparently a wealth of information when it came to the subject, you met Yunho in college and have been friends with him since. You grew quite close in your time studying the same major, and as fate would have it, you both ended up working for the same conglomerate after college.

While you ended up here, promoted to head of the department when the opening became available, Yunho worked for a different subsidiary within the same building; so while you technically worked for different companies, you shared the same CEO, and had ample opportunity to meet and talk during the company lunch hour and maintain the friendship you had in college.

Well, he imagines you would’ve still been friends with Yunho regardless of where the two of you ended up in life after graduation, but still seeing him daily certainly didn’t help you get over the college crush you had on the man. And you had tried to move on- you’re not stupid, you know Yunho doesn’t feel the same way as you, but your relationships never worked out as you’d hoped, and you’d always be left still battling your unrequited love for your best friend.

Though you are always professional, it was obvious, at least to the other women in the office, that you had deep feelings for Yunho. They could always tell in the way your face changed when he was near, displaying a timid smile that only ever showed up for him, the flush on your face subtle but recognizable to those who knew you well.

And by extension, it became increasingly obvious to the rest of the office that Hyunjin was down bad for you, and hated seeing you with Yunho. His face too always changed when Yunho arrived, though in an entirely different way from you- Hyunjin would be positively seething with jealousy, always failing to mask the frown of disapproval when Yunho stepped into your office to talk and invite you out for lunch outside the building.

And Hyunjin, who was always a gentleman anyways, was even more so when it came to you- holding open doors for you when walking somewhere together, carrying stacks upon stacks of heavy paperwork so you wouldn’t have to do it, memorizing the way you liked your coffee so he could get it for you and you could focus instead on your work. The only time Hyunjin ever wasn’t smiling, it was when you were giving your affection to Yunho, and it was painfully obvious how bad he wanted you.

If Hyunjin was trying to keep his feelings a secret, well.. He failed to do so at every turn. Everyone in the office could tell how he felt, and while they would never admit it, most were just waiting for the day he’d ask you out, as it seemed to be more and more inevitable that he would. Some who had been your coworkers since long before you were even promoted and knew of your unrequited feelings, hoped that Hyunjin could be the person to finally give you the happiness you deserve.

Even you yourself began to suspect that Hyunjin liked you as more than a friend or coworker, because why else would he go so out of his way for you? Why else would his face change whenever he saw Yunho? You can still remember the way his smile dropped when Yunho stepped into the room when you were having lunch with your team, how Hyunjin subtly clenched his teeth and tightened his fists, how he’d practically glare at the man before replacing his expression with the most forced smile you’d ever seen him have for the sake of professionalism.

Were you being delusional? To say Hyunjin is fucking gorgeous is an understatement- he’s practically ethereal. And while you wanted to move on from your stupid school girl crush on Yunho that continued to grip you all these years later, wasn’t it too much to fantasize about Hyunjin being the person to finally make you happy? He could have anyone, and you couldn’t understand why he’d want you of all people when he could easily bag someone more impressive than you.

You did well for yourself, but you didn’t consider yourself particularly desirable.. Maybe years of unrequited love and failed relationships made your confidence tank more than you realized, at least when it came to love and romance. And while there were other couples in the office, you worried it’d be unprofessional of you to date someone who you are technically the boss of.. Shouldn’t you be more concerned about the power dynamic instead of worrying about whether or not you were desirable enough for Hyunjin to want you?

God, you really needed to get your priorities straight before you did something stupid; and certainly you were just reading too far into things. But still, while your feelings for Yunho didn’t go away, you still couldn’t deny that your heart would race whenever Hyunjin smiled at you, couldn’t ignore how goosebumps would erupt on your skin when his hand lingered on yours as he handed you a perfectly made cup of coffee, couldn’t help but linger on the the thought of what a perfect lover he must be.

As if sensing you were thinking of him, you hear a knock on your door, breaking you out of your thoughts and seeing Hyunjin crack open the door. “May I?” he asks, and you smile politely with a nod, motioning for him to enter your office. “Hey Hyunjin, what’s up? Need something?” you ask and he shakes his head, sitting on the chair in front of you. “Nothing work related, though I do want to ask you something,” he replies, and immediately your mind wanders to delusional territory again, though you quickly try to shut it down.

“What is it?” you ask, trying your best not to fill your brain with the thought of Hyunjin making a move on you. Be professional for God’s sake. “I was wondering,” he starts, looking at you with that charming smile that is so natural to him and you always have to stop yourself from folding over, “If you don’t have any prior obligations today, would you like to have lunch with me?”

Oh no. He’s adding fuel to your delusional fire. “Just us?” you ask, trying to mask your hope or the way your heart is picking up speed. You really want to be chill about the invite, but you really can’t help but hope the invitation means something more. He’s perfect, how could you not? You’re only human, after all. Isn’t it natural to want someone this fucking beautiful to want you?

“Yes, just us. You don’t have to consider it a date, but.. I would be happy if you did,” he smiles, head tilting to the side in an almost playful display, and your heart jolts. He’s not just playing with you, right? He wouldn’t, would he? But you have to ask, “You make it sound as if you want me to consider it a date. Are you saying you like me?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, ma’am,” he replies without hesitation, confidence fully on display. It’s as if the possibility of you saying “no” has never crossed his mind. Well, you’d probably be confident too if you looked anything like him; you don’t imagine he’s been rejected often. And well, you certainly won’t be the person to hit him with his first rejection either; you’ll have to ask a third party to handle the necessary paperwork if things go well between you and Hyunjin, as the head of the department can’t approve and oversee her own consensual relationship agreement, but it’ll be worth it, you think.

After all, if someone this beautiful and seemingly perfect wants you, why deny yourself the opportunity? Even if it doesn’t work out, maybe he’ll be the person to finally help you get over your stupid crush on your best friend that’s been going nowhere for years. Apart from his beauty, he’s always been chivalrous and attentive towards you, a true gentleman in every sense of the word. And even if it's only for a brief time, you think he can make you feel happy, desired, truly cared for.

You’re about to tell him you’d love to, when your door unexpectedly clicks open, your eyes moving past Hyunjin to see Yunho standing in the doorway. Hyunjin immediately scowls, having half a mind to rip him apart once the day is over, though he does his best to temper his aggravation. Can’t let himself lose face in front of the one he loves after all; he’s not sure you’d still be up for a date with him if he displayed his jealous, possessive tendencies this early on (not that he did a very good job of hiding them to begin with.)

“Shit, sorry- am I interrupting a meeting?” Yunho asks, and Hyunjin rolls his eyes, turning his gaze back to you instead. “No, nothing like that,” you answer, shifting your gaze back to Hyunjin, who for the first time looks concerned that you’ll turn him down. It’s subtle, but his eyes are softer, nearly pleading, though he tries his best to not display the desperation that lies underneath- the desperation for you to affirm that you like him too, that you want to go on a date with him, that you want to give him a chance.

“Oh, good,” Yunho sighs in relief, knowing that sometimes your work bleeds over into the lunch hour. He glances at Hyunjin, a slight frown forming on his face. He’s never spoken to the guy, but Yunho would have to blind to not notice that Hyunjin hates him for seemingly no reason. “Well, uh- I’ll let you get back to whatever talk you’re having. I’ll see you for lunch when it's over?” Yunho asks, and you can see Hyunjin swallow, hands tensing as he waits for your reply.

Please don’t reject me, his body practically screams, and you almost can’t believe that the confident man that you know is looking this nervous over potential rejection because of you. “Thanks, but I’m actually having lunch with Hyunjin today. Maybe next time?” you answer, smiling at Hyunjin to reassure him that yes, you are going on a date. No, you won’t be picking Yunho over him, despite the history that lies there.

Relief instantly spreads through Hyunjin, and he returns your smile, his confidence returning as if it’d never left in the first place. “Oh,” Yunho blinks in surprise; that’s.. unexpected. You’ve never prioritized someone else over him before. Huh. He feels.. strange. Jealous..? No, that can’t be right. Why would he be jealous? Hyunjin stands, offering his hand to you, which you accept before you stand yourself.

“Are you ready, ma’am? I know this cafe you’ll just love, but we have to hurry if we wan’t to make it back before the hour is over,” Hyunjin smiles, turning away to face the door, and subsequently, an almost bewildered looking Yunho. You miss the way Hyunjin shoots your best friend a smug, almost triumphant smirk; a smirk that says I’ve won, she’s mine. And even as Yunho watches the pair of you walk towards the elevator, hears you tell Hyunjin he can call you by your name when it’s “just the two of us,” suddenly he feels incredibly stupid.

Even as he’s left standing there, watching the elevator doors close with just the two of you inside, he can feel his gut twist as Hyunjin shoots him one last smirk, one that affirms something Yunho is just now realizing- there was a reason Hyunjin hated him. All this time, Yunho was a rival for love, and he just lost the race without ever having actually participated.

He scoffs, laughing at himself in near disbelief. What an idiot he’s been, and what a moment to realize it. He knew you had a crush on him, but what did he expect? That you’ll always be there, just waiting for the day he’d finally miraculously return your feelings after all these years? Of course you’d move on eventually; and maybe Yunho didn’t want to admit he found your infatuation with him to be a comfortable ego boost, now hit with the epiphany that his newfound jealousy over the loss of your affection is ugly and twisted.

And truly, Hyunjin had him beat. Somehow, he knew that this was the end of your feelings for him. How ironic it is to lose due to his own complacency, his expectation that you’d always be there no matter what relationships you found yourselves in. How arrogant and selfish he’d been, assured that no matter whom he slept with or pursued, you’d be there just waiting for the day he’d finally ask you out. And now Hyunjin has you, and he’s certain he’ll never let you go.

#skz x reader #hyunjin x reader #skz smut #hyunjin smut #skz imagines #skz scenarios #mdni + divider graphic credit: @cafekitsune

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slugtranslation-hypmic · 5 months

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Hey Slug! I've been baffled over this for a while now and realized I could just ask you for your opinion. Names. Specifically, Hypmic characters mostly using first names to address each other. I- I'm obviously not all that familiar with Japanese traditions, I'm just the usual anime nerd, but I thought I had a grasp on how people use names over there by now and Hypmic is kinda confusing me? Why do they all use first names to address each other? But sometimes people still use last names??

Short answer: Because, for the most part, the people talking to each other are close friends in casual settings.

Long answer: Using first names vs last names has to do with the level of emotional distance between speaker and listener. Regardless of language, we all adjust the level of formality we speak at depending on whether we're talking to close friends, acquaintances, strangers, or authority figures. It's not socially appropriate to present yourself as best buds with your boss or teacher. Similarly, you might jokingly call a close pal a bitch, but this level of closeness would be inappropriate for a coworker. In Japanese, emotional distance is more strictly codified than in English via varying degrees of polite language, name honorifics, and first name vs last name, but the basic idea involved isn't especially different from English. Most of the people we talk to on a day-to-day basis are classmates and coworkers. If you speak Japanese in your work or school setting, you'll likely use last names for the classmates and coworkers you don't know especially well ("Yamamoto-kun's the guy I sit next to in math, but we don't hang out after school or anything." "Satou-san and I both have the opening shift on Tuesdays, and I chat with her whenever we're on break at the same time. But we don't text outside of work or anything." These kinds of people.) because you have a sense of emotional distance from them. For those you feel closer to and would consider a friend, one way of indicating that closeness is by using their first names. For really close friends or romantic partners, you can drop honorifics altogether to indicate that you feel super, super close to them. (As a side note, some people aren't comfortable doing this at all and still refer to best friends and romantic partners with honorifics. That's largely a matter of personality.) We see Hypmic characters doing this for their classmates and coworkers in rare instances of classroom or workplace scenes, but the majority of Hypmic takes place outside of these settings. Since each team is comprised of close pals hanging out, there's no need to put up a barrier of emotional distance. Some notable exceptions:

The characters who were once close pals but have since had falling outs still largely use first names for one another sans honorifics. This is meant as a deliberate insult, since they're no longer close enough for this lack of distance to be acceptable. Sound confusing? Let's go back to the bitch example for a minute. Calling your best friend a bitch? Probably fine. Calling someone you had a fight with a bitch? Yeaaaah, no, that doesn't fly. Same deal here.

Even when they're friends in TDD, Ichirou still calls Samatoki "Samatoki-san" because he treats Samatoki like an older, respected figure. He doesn't want to try and portray himself as on Samatoki's level. The "-san" is dropped after their fallout because he no longer looks up to Samatoki.

Jirou and Saburou call Ichirou various affectionate derivatives of "oniisan" or "aniki" instead of his first name. "Aniki" is a matter of respect, but "Ichi-nii" and "niichan" are more about social custom than respect for Ichirou based on his individual merits. Even if you're an English speaker who feels very close to your parents, you probably aren't on a first-name basis with them due to social customs. It's the same idea here. Japanese-speaking siblings can be super close to one another and still use variants of oniisan/oneesan even while otherwise speaking to their sibling like a close friend. Many other languages share similar customs.

Ditto for Nemu calling Samatoki "oniichan."

Ramuda calls almost everyone by their first name (usually without honorifics or with overly familiar honorifics) in a way that is socially inappropriate. He's stating that he feels very, very close to the listener, regardless of whatever the listener thinks. This is in line with Ramuda's extremely outgoing persona and the "everyone's idol" trope. He gives his love to EVERYONE! He's best buds with EVERYONE! But plenty of people (rightfully) find it off-putting or boundary smashing. It's another example of the way Ramuda breaks social conventions, especially in a cute or childish way. Like "Oops, tee-hee! I'm just too young and adorable to know better! I just wanna be your friend :3"

Even when they were close friends, Jakurai never called Ramuda by his first name. He instead uses "Amemura-kun" (as an aside, Jakurai attaches "-kun" to most of the cast members' names because they're a fair deal younger than him. It's not demeaning. It actually conveys some degree of warmth) which leaves some measure of distance between them at all times. It's not explicitly stated exactly why he does this. It's reasonable to assume TDD!Jakurai has some reservations about getting close to Ramuda, although it's debatable whether this is due to suspicion about Ramuda's behavior, trauma from his fight with Hitoya, or simply an attempt to establish socially acceptable distance because Ramuda utterly fails to do so. (Also, I think Jakurai might combust into a ball of embarrassed flames if he tries, but that's neither here nor there.)

Very, very significantly, Doppo and Hifumi never refer to Jakurai by name, instead using some variant of "sensei." They mean this in a good way--they respect him a lot--but as Jakurai occasionally comments on, this creates a sense of distance between them that he doesn't like. He wants to be treated like an equal instead of being placed on a slight pedestal above his other two friends.

Since I'm talking about honorifics here too, Juushi calls Hitoya and Kuukou "Hitoya-san" and "Kuukou-san" even when they don't return the favor. Like I mentioned previously, this strikes me as a matter of personality. It's not that Hitoya and Kuukou disrespect Juushi or that Juushi doesn't consider them to be close friends, but he's just a bit shier than either of them. Well, it's not hard to be shier than Hitoya and Kuukou...

Rei is on a first-name basis with Ichijiku in an effort to be rude with her. She presumably does not want him to call her "Ichijiku-chan," but Rei most certainly does not care.

Nemu is also on a first-name basis with Ichijiku (Ichijiku-san), which I'm chalking up to the fact that she and Ichijiku do seem to be close outside of work.

Also, when characters talk about someone they don't know well, they usually use first and last name without honorific. That's pretty similar to English conventions, too. "Hey, you know that comedian Sasara Nurude?" "Hey, you know that actor Jack Black?" Same deal.

#not a translation #asks #hypmic asks

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yearningaces · 2 months

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Hi! (It got too long, sorry)

So um.. i had some time to think while I was trageling, and I didnt wanted my thoughts to get lost in the void so I wrote some things in my notes about Declan (its not entirely about him, mostly about just Hallewells). So if its okay then I would share it.

The first one is actually just a situation, or well.. so um, I temporarily forgot that he is in the medival times and I had a daydream about him in the modern age.

The thing is that I really love how devoted he is, but I also like how cold he is towards everyone else. And you said that he isnt a entirely a good person so I wanted to play with that thought, how he was acting before he met his heart. (I.. um... its about a car crash so um.. dont read it if it makes you uncomfortable, there is no blood or anything but someone does dies and someone got injured, sorry)

Its colorful because I just realized I can do that in my notes lel (and I was hyped from my own thoughts, how silly)

Next one is like.. um.. mostly an ask. Shortly its about what would be his first reaction when he first sees his heart.

The next one is about um.. shortly, when you cannot communicate what you feel or want, what would he do then?

I am really sorry if any of this is uncomfortable or hurtful for you and you do not need to answer and also sorry for how I wrote in my notes because I was in a hurry... and on a bus so if you see any mistakes in my english then please ignore it. And also ignore this ask if you dont want to answer. (Im just hyperfixating right now here.) Thank you if you answer!

Please NEVER apologize because this is all liquid word gold and nothing could have made me happier to read because you got him! You got him nailed down!! Let's run through this one by one!

Second scenario!

First of all the car crash is 100% in character for a Hallewell. He's done his job, he's moving on without a second glance. Maybe MAYBE if that Hallewell knew his heart already and the woman who was injured looked like his heart? He might toss the man's phone to her. That's really it, they are such an emotionally detached being, not good, but they're doing general good by hunting and murdering the bad in their own way (also please please I'm rotating the powerhouse of this scenario iny mind the next few days of a modern time Declan just... Appearing in the road like that on a dark stormy night to do his job. I need to figure out the best weapon he'd use if not in beast form.) because that's exactly it! To most folks unless the Hallewell has actually shifted, they only see an intimidating human. For the prey of the Hallewell, they see or at least in the back of their mind they feel just how inhumanly wrong this creature is. These aren't good creatures, their job is to hunt and kill foul hearted individuals but that doesn't really make a Hallewell GOOD you know? Very duty bound and almost nothing else is in their heads

It's something I didn't touch heavily on, but whatever decides when a Hallewell is born (be it the deity that drives them like Crom dubh to a Dullahan) or the fate that creates a Hallewell because remember they can't be born from another Hallewell, whatever decides that they're meant to be is what decides who they're fated to. One individual through their entire lifespan, and that's it.

If I could say one good thing about a Hallewell it's that they are viciously devout to their heart. That is their only person, all of the lacking emotions and care is poured into that one person that's why it's so extreme. It's not strictly romantic though, it could be a platonic bond where the Hallewell feels a driving need to be your closest companion. A familial one where in their eyes their heart is their only family, but more commonly a romantic one where they want to be the best partner you could hope for so you'll never want to leave them behind. Because that's it for them, they could never find another person to care for.

Though the way they find their heart is a little... Fitting for how scary they can be.

The reason their heart is called that is because that's how a Hallewell finds them. They hear your heartbeat. They follow it until they find you.

Have you ever been hunted down?

Even if you know you're completely safe, it's terrifying especially if you don't know that and if the Hallewell in question is too excited to consider that fact so it will be a heart attack but once said Hallewell catches up, like I said with Declan, he'll be on his knees as soon as he sees you, holding onto your hand as if in disbelief over your existence because he's spent centuries committed to his duty alone, he's a rarity among Hallewell of being older and only now finding his heart, but now he has, and he would do anything to convince to keep him around. It doesn't matter if his heart is the strongest burliest man around, or the tiniest, he will act with the same adoring worshipful actions. He'd try to go off of your reactions, because at any point a terrifying stranger pledging his lifelong fealty is unnerving at best. He'd offer his home, protection, always good food on the table- he'll cook for you if you'd like, books, gems, fine fabrics, entertainment, himself, anything and everything he has if you will only permit him your presence and should you decide anything more he would be most blessed but would never expect as such.

He's an intense dude... All Hallewell are really.

As for the third thing!

This is hell! A Hallewell unable to aid his heart, Declan would be close to tearing his ribs open to offer you his racing heart if it helps! It's a scenario where he can get very very overbearing but he wants so badly to help and is close to just finding the nearest person he knows you've expressed lacking fondness over to devour them.

Now this is a very dependent scenario, but if you were crying, breaking down good and proper, first and foremost he'd isolate the both of you. No crowds, no guest fuck off everyone he will grip a bitch and toss them halfway across town if he feels they're making the situation worse regardless of who it is. Once alone he'll try to hold you, be it both of you on the ground he wouldn't care, if you let him he'll hold you close and not say a word until you do even if it means staying there for hours until he's stuff and sore he wouldn't care.

If he can't hold you? Okay he won't try again but he's gonna pace around on high alert instinctually patrolling the area you're in to ensure nothing can come near you so you can have the space to breathe properly.

Eventually he'll gain enough sense to bring you water and something light to eat because crying is dehydrating and exhausting. If you let him he'd carry you to bed, tuck you in all nice and cozy and try to help you rest.

The issue comes in now, if you go to sleep and don't tell him what happened once he's positive you're sleeping he'll lock the house up so you're safely protected from any nosey folks, and he will hunt everyone he knows you've been connected to. Not to kill but it's not off the table. He needs to know who did what to upset you so much and he doesn't care if that means fighting everyone in your town. He'll drag folks out of alehouse and toss them into a ditch to interrogate, he's not above beating someone to near death if they know something and if they're the cause I'm sorry they're no doubt going to die

If you tell him to stay before falling asleep, or find a way to explain, he'll just stay beside you as motionless as stone, watching you breathe. Counting the moments, waiting, watching. When you wake if you can tell him what you want he'll do anything.

If you can't tell him what you want just try to tell him to stay close so he doesn't go on a rampage trying to figure it out himself

#letters of yearning #x reader #gender neutral reader #monster boyfriend #monster x reader #monster romance #Declan the Hallewell #i love this so much you have no idea always leave ask like this I will deepdive them

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hotel-of-has-beens · 2 months

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Hello, hope you are doing well! If not, I hope it gets better!

CAUTION: I share art of gore and body horror. Feel free to tag those as gore, gore tw, body horror, and body horror tw. Be safe!

So I made this side blog to keep my hyperfixation over Hazbin Hotel away from my main blog.

A few rules and notes about the kind of content I reblog:

Spoilers.

Gifs.

Fanart and official art.

Hazbin/Helluva/Viviziepop criticisms. (I love Hazbin, but I have a number of problems with it and the universe as well as the creator herself.)

Ship content.

Favorite romantic ships:

Charlie and Vaggie

Lucifer and Lilith

Favorite (qpr/)platonic ships:

Alastor and Charlie

Alastor and Lucifer

Alastor and Rosie

Now, please keep in mind, this blog is made for fun. I'm not here for drama, despite my criticisms. I'm here to have a fun and good time. It's fine to not like something either, especially if you don't like what I share, but this is my space where I can express myself and my interest in the show.

Shipping is meant to be for fun. If you don't like what I ship then that's fine, just block me and move on.

I have the firm belief that Alastor really doesn't care for some of the characters, except a select few, and he is strictly friends with Charlie, not in a family way. He just hates Lucifer and wants to get under his skin by being a little bastard. I may share Charlastor art, but only because I think they have good chemistry in a platonic way. Same goes for other ships that aren't romantic or borderline romantic.

I think that's it... I'll update this over time if I have anything else to say.

All in all, please take care of yourselves, take it easy and have fun!

#hazbin hotel

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askanaroace · 1 year

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History and Current Celebration of Valentine's Day

So I wrote this up for Arocalypse but thought people here might find it interesting!

This is in response to someone asking if Valentine's is strictly about romantic love or if it can be extended to include familial/platonic love:

Interesting question! Interesting because Valentine's Day originally actually had nothing at all to do with love. Valentine's Day originated as a Christian celebration marked with a feast to celebrate the martyr, St. Valentine. Valentine was minister for Christians being persecuted under the Roman Empire. He's become associated with courting/romantic love but is more accurately the saint of Terni (a city), beekeeping, and epilepsy. (Pretty random assortment. I cannot figure out what the connection between beekeeping and epilepsy may have been or if they were just things he was known for caring about?) He was martyred on Feb 14th, hence the celebration being today.

This gets even more interesting because Valentine was actually beheaded because he was caught continuing to perform marriage ceremonies for young couples after the Roman Emperor Claudius banned marriage and engagements in Rome, believing that love for their wives/families was stopping Roman men from joining the army. So you would think this would legitimately be a reason for Valentine's Day to be associated with love. And yet...

Valentine's has been celebrated since around the 8th century, but it wasn't until the 14th/15th centuries that it became associated with romantic love and courting. It's thought that this shift occurred for a few reasons. The first is that "courtly love" (literally performing grand acts to show love/loyalty/dedication, most associated with knights going out on grand quests) began to emerge as a concept during this time, somewhat loosely inspired by the grand mating displays of birds - the connotations being that birds start to perform these rituals in early spring around the this holiday time. For humans, this meant gifting flowers, candy, and cards. That's right - the holiday didn't even become associated with romantic love for the potentially logical reason it could have been. It just became romantic because people decided to become more and more ridiculously grand with their romantic relationships and Valentine's was a seemingly convenient day to celebrate this on. !? (There is an unsubstantiated legend that while he was jailed and awaiting his death, Valentine wrote a letter to the jailer's daughter, signed "From Your Valentine" and that's where Valentine cards derived from. It's interesting that this became romantic because in some versions of the legend, Valentine cured the jailer's daughter of blindness, thus being her healer, and in others, they are usually referred to as friends. So there isn't even a seemingly romantic connotation here.)

Of note, it is a standing tradition in Italy that keys ("St. Valentine's keys") are swapped, not only to romantic partners (a symbol of "unlocking each other's hearts") but also to children in order to ward off epilepsy. So there are traditions even today that aren't simply romantic.

In Costa Rica, Mexico, and Puerto Rico, Valentine's Day is called two names, one of which translates to "Day of Love and Friendship"). Aside from being a romantic holiday, celebrating friendship and doing things for your friends is common on Valentine's in Latin American countries such as these.

Apparently in Afghanistan, before the 21st century (before Taliban rule), poetry is common for Valentine's celebrations and folk were using it to make political statements about the erosion of their freedoms. It sounds like this was rather generational, yet common enough to end up on wiki.

In Bangladesh, they celebrate pretty much any bond, including parent/child, friends, and teacher/student bonds. Note this is rather recent, beginning only in 1993. Before that - and to some still - it's celebrated as an Islamic day of anti-authoritarianism.

Japan gets really interesting. Again, it wasn't introduced until later, first being celebrated in 1936. In the 1950s, it began picking up as a commercial holiday to sell chocolate (while other gifts are fairly uncommon). In fact, there was one such advert that was mistranslated and led to a movement where women were supposed to gift male coworkers chocolate. I'm not clear on how common it is, but apparently women have felt obligated to have to gift chocolate to all their male coworkers, leading to a ranking system of "obligatory chocolates" (cheap chocolates for less liked/desirable male coworkers) and "true chocolates" (expensive/deluxe chocolates for more liked/desirable male coworkers). This custom continued at least through the 1980s, when the marshmallow industry rallied to try and start a competing holiday in March where men would gift marshmallows to female coworkers. (Fun fact, this is referred to as "White Day" and while it never took off in Japan, both South Korea and Taiwan celebrate a version of Valentine's/White Day where each binary gender takes a day to gift to the other.) So Valentine's is not really romantic in Japan; their romantic holiday is apparently on what others of us may celebrate as Christmas Eve.

In both Estonia and Finland, their holiday name for Valentine's translates to "Friend Day" and friendship is celebrated today rather than romantic love.

While Greece currently celebrates Valentine's as a romantic holiday, this wasn't the case until the 1990s. It's unclear on if this holiday used to be celebrated as something else or wasn't celebrated before then, but in Greek tradition, the Saint who represented people in romantic love had a feast day on July 3rd instead.

***Please note I'm largely summarizing from wikipedia for all this info.

IN CONCLUSION:

A) Valentine's Day originally had nothing to do with romantic love at all in the first place; largely it exists today primarily as a commercial holiday to promote candy/card/flower sales

B) Several countries already have non-romantic celebrations associated with Valentine's Day, some of which are prioritized above romantic celebrations

C) Holidays can evolve over time

So I decree that Valentine's Day can be for whatever you want it to be for. There are no actual rules, just common understandings. Valentine's Day was bastardized to be romantic. Bastardize it more for whatever suits your purposes!

There was a post going around about a couple in a queerplatonic relationship who decided Valentine's Day should actually be Jeff Goldblum Day, the day for appreciating Jeff Goldblum, such as by watching any of his movies. Personally, this is what I decided to go with and re-watched the original Jurassic Park trilogy (even though Goldblum wasn't in the third, I couldn't just not watch it). :P

#aromantic #valentine's day #valentine's #aro valentine's #romantic love #platonic love #holidays #celebrations #friendship #romantic relationships #history

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mejomonster · 2 years

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While I am a shipper of pingxie because let's face it idk how one could go into The Lost Tomb drama blind and not think it was a bl then be shocked to discover it wasn't meant to be (although on thorough mental debate I've decided there's at least a 20% chance the show mistakenly thought "Oh I'll just speed up iron triangle intimacy? How? Uh. How about romance action tropes for wu xie/Zhang qiling and buddy cop action tropes for wu xie/pangzi" and it Worked well enough for speeding up the dynamics for the sake of that drama compared to book, but it also you know... meant they used usually-romantic tropes to speed up pingxie (which reads bl as all hell) and while the buddy-cop tropes aren't strictly romantically coded a lot of shippers may optimistically read it romantically. Hence you get a very shippy feeling initial drama.

Then by the time ANY other drama rolls out, the ship dynamics got cranked up More and after The Lost Tomb I no longer think it was accidental. The Lost Tomb 2 having Xiaoge catch Wu Xie in his arms bridal style in a suit IS romantic trope to the max (I could name more scenes but that alone makes my point), Ultimate Note went absolute ham on shippy vibes (heihua pingxie are in the ost lyrics which would make my point enough, also it getting a scene cut particularly for being too overtly pingxie Wu Xie likes men in comparison to Pangzi liking Yun Cai). The Lost Tomb Reboot and other shows set later don't necessarily hammer it as hard (whereas TLT2 makers absolutely were hammering pingxie for some reason?) But by then npss has name dropped ships in interviews so he'd been more aware of shippy moments purposely in shows by then (or at least more aware of that potential interpretation).

Back to the point sorry. My POINT is while the shows made me ship it about as inevitably as Xena Warrior Princess makes shipping Xena/Gabrielle almost inevitable, I'm reading these books wondering how the actual source books Actually Feel.

Based on fan reactions I'm assuming I'm in for an eventual dynamic that feels quite like kirk/spock, but who knows. Readers know! I don't! Not yet lol! So I'm very excited to find out what the dynamics of all characters are more like in the books (like is heihua a big thing? Why is it a big thing? Are they just a team in the books a lot?? Is Wen Jin in the books more, I Hope?). And more excited to find out book characterizations, because I know they declawed/defanged Wu Xie significantly in some of the shows, so i am eager to see what they're more like (a ning is the woman of my dreams so far so good to see ToT she's what I thought she'd be so far lol).

But yeah. While I might put my gush over dynamics goggles on at times when I'm commenting, I am curious how the actual book dynamics feel. Versus the shows which I think definitely 1. Softened characterizations 2. Sped up iron triangle dynamics (and possibly other dynamics).

(For confused followers this is about my dmbj novels lb on @rigelmejo ToT)

#dmbj novels #lb

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matryosika · 2 years

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Cherry Flavored

pairing – hyunjin x reader

wordcount – 8.6 k

warnings – use of petnames, dirty talk, slight food play (a lollipop), masturbation (f), squirting, oral sex (m), deepthroating, face fucking, spit/drool play, cocky/possessive/jealous hyunjin, humiliation, degradation, slight dumbification, overstimulation, unprotected sex, cum eating.

note – i don't know what the fuck happened but you can blame clio's hyunlix teaser for this one, the one with the lollipops. the actions depicted here are not a good idea to execute in real life since they can lead to infections, but this is strictly fiction so i indulged myself with this one. also, excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes since english is not my first language and overall i hope you enjoy! i always get too carried away when writing hyunjin, so this is like 3k words of plot and 5k words of smut. i don't know, something like it.

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You weren't facing him, but you could feel his heavy gaze setting your whole body on fire.

“It has been a while since I last saw you,” Changbin mumbled, offering you a flirty smile, “but you are just as beautiful”.

“Oh,” you quietly whispered, not daring to look at the man who had been shooting you killer glances ever since you first arrived at the restaurant. “You know, I have been busy– doing this and that”.

“I have been wanting to call you,” he continued, his body slightly leaning towards the table, “but I don’t want to be inopportune”.

“Ah— it's totally fine!” you replied as your breath got caught up in your throat. Hyunjin wasn't sitting that far from the two of you, but your interaction with Changbin seemed more like a casual chat than a flirty conversation and you wondered if the dark-haired man could tell the difference. “I can always make time for a talk”.

“No, I- It wasn't anything like that,” he corrected himself, earning a confused look from you. “I meant I don’t want to be inopportune because of Hyunjin”.

It took you a few seconds to understand the implied meaning behind his words but, even then, you couldn't quite understand why he was saying such a thing.

“What about him?” you queried.

“Aren't you two going out?”

Oh.

Truth be told, the easy answer to that question was simple: no.

The hard one, however, was way more complex than that.

What started as a game became a casual thing, one that neither you nor he dared to label because things were too good to be true. Nonetheless, you couldn't deny the fact that your proud self felt a little bit hurt each time Hyunjin introduced you as just a friend.

Whether you liked him in a romantic context or not, that was beyond the situation. What mattered was that you two were seeing each other –not just only for sex– but he kept on denying it.

“Not at all,” you replied with almost a forced laugh. One that you purposely emitted a bit louder to capture the attention of the man sitting just a few people away from you and Changbin.

Luckily for you, that was an easy task.

“No, we aren't seeing each other”.

“See, he told me the same thing,” Changbin laughed, driving the lemonade glass to his lips, and taking a sip from it, “but I just couldn't believe it. I thought he was keeping you as a secret and I couldn't understand why”.

“No, nothing like that,” You replied with a bitter smile, feeling a bit hurt by his last words, “we just get along, I guess”.

Changbin gave you another smile, one that felt flirtier and warmer. One that sent your mind straight to cloud 9 as you fantasized about him, thinking about how nice it would be to sleep with such a man.

“I am relieved to know that, in all honesty,” he sighed, tilting his head. “For a moment I almost felt bad for showing interest in you”.

You weren't a prude, but you were also not used to dealing with men as straightforward as Changbin was. It was as scary as it was attractive, and you found yourself having conflictive thoughts about him.

“Now you are just saying that to make me shy,” you mumbled, timid.

Truth was that Changbin was your type. If you had to describe the perfect man, you would easily just list all his personality traits and call it a day.

However, there was something about Hyunjin that you still couldn't quite figure out.

He was far from being what you wanted but there was an intoxicating aura around him, something that just forced you to keep your eyes on him all the time.

Every time you thought you were starting to drift from him and his charms, he reminded you that you were never going to walk away from him, even if given the opportunity.

Every time you thought you were interested in someone else other than him, he pinned you down onto his mattress and fucked the thought out of you in just one night.

“I mean it,” the brown-haired insisted, taking another sip from his glass. “I still remember the first time I saw you at Seungmin's place”.

“That was so long ago!” you pattered, trying hard to divert the conversation to a different topic other than the attraction he felt towards you. “I remember this girl Jeongin was dating back then, the one with blue highlights on her hair-”.

“Ah, the homeschooled one”.

“Yeah, that one-”.

Then, the conversation progressed to something trivial, each of you recalling memories from your high-school years while laughing at the innumerable number of anecdotes you remembered.

He would occasionally look at you with that characteristic, playful smirk that you grew to know well, but he knew better than to shoot his shot right in the middle of Jeongin's birthday dinner.

However, it was thanks to his bubbly mood and the delicious food that the awkward evening progressed with ease. Each and everyone invited spent the whole time minding their own business while having a feast and chatting with the people surrounding them.

All but one, that kept his eyes on you throughout the whole night.

“Ah, I better get going too,” You finally breathed after Jisung and Minho stood up from their seats and said goodbye to the birthday boy. “I have to wake up early tomorrow”.

You stood from your seat, immediately followed by Hyunjin and Changbin.

However, the latest didn't notice the impulsive action of the first one.

“Do you need a ride?” He asked you, taking out his wallet and leaving an amount of money that could easily pay for two meals.

“Oh, I wouldn't want to–”.

“I am dropping her off,” Hyunjin interrupted and, if you thought you had seen him angry before, his voice solely proved you wrong.

Changbin looked at the black-haired and then at you with an almost threatening look on his face, taken aback by the sudden harsh tone on Hyunjin’s voice.

“I- You live just a few minutes away from here and I don't want to cause you any discomfort,” you rushed to say in an attempt to make things less uncomfortable. “My apartment is on Hyunjin’s way, so it is more convenient if he drives me there. Besides, he was nice enough to bring me here as well”.

“It is never an inconvenience if it's about you,” he cooed with a smile, completely ignoring the fact that Hyunjin was standing just a few centimeters away from you. “Dinner is on me, by the way”.

You felt your whole face heated up at his generous action, totally not expecting him to be that much of a gentleman.

“You don't have to–”

“Next time you can pay,” Changbin proposed to you, only using it as an excuse for him to ask you out.

You could've dodged that comment just like you did the rest of the evening but, as soon as you saw Hyunjin’s clenched jaw and heard his raging voice, you couldn't help but want to keep on pressing his buttons further.

After all, a damaged ego was what he deserved.

“Saturday at 21:00 then?” You queried, knowing well that Hyunjin was listening to the whole conversation. “You can pick the place since I am treating you”.

Changbin offered you one last smirk and handed you a cherry lollipop that the waitress had put at the center of the table as a treat, keeping the small item inside of the pockets of your beige cardigan while you smiled at the sweet gesture.

Something that didn’t go unnoticed by the long-haired man standing next to you.

“By the way,” he mumbled, “That skirt looks good on you”.

You waved him goodbye with a soft smile before walking towards Jeongin who was still sitting with Chan, Seungmin, Felix, and a few other people from his major.

“Thank you for the invite,” You mumbled, giving him a tight hug, “And happy birthday. Spend the rest of it well”.

“You two are leaving together?” Jeongin asked you as he rested his head on your shoulder, noticing how Hyunjin was standing right behind you.

“He is dropping me at my place,” you told him, “you know since we live pretty close”.

“Ah–” he replied, unsure about prodding more into the topic. “Have a safe drive”.

Even though his lasts words were more for Hyunjin than you, you still thanked him and gave him another hug. You mumbled a faint “goodbye” to the rest of the people that were still there with him and proceeded to walk away while having a furious, man following you throughout the whole parking lot.

Much to your surprise though, the next minutes were spent in silence. You located his black sports car, waited for him to unlock the doors, and got inside without hearing a single word from the man near you.

His eyes were glued to the road the whole time, only looking away to fix them on the rear-view mirror and vice versa. He was driving slower than usual, indicating that either he was thinking stuff, or he was just doing that to piss you off.

Nonetheless, as the trip progressed, you realized that maybe he was too lost in his own world to even think about bothering you in a playful manner, especially because he was angry at you, and you could tell.

Even if his body language was relaxed and absolutely no words were coming out of his mouth, his gaze sold him out every time.

“You are going to have to turn right on the next street,” you murmured, interrupting the awkward silence, “the street of the building is closed because they are restoring it”.

No response.

He continued driving as if you weren't there beside him, stopping at the red lights without even looking at you.

“Didn't you hear me?” you questioned him, annoyed at his childish attitude.

Again, silence.

You crossed both of your arms and rested your whole weight on the leather seat, knowing better than to keep insisting on him with such a trivial issue.

After a draining day, you had no energy to keep up with his immature behavior so, as the trip continued, you tried to remember the subway routes and which station was near his building so you could walk there and go back to your place.

However, as you were lost in your trail of thoughts, his husky voice took you out of it the minute he parked his car.

“Get out,” He commanded before he did the exact same thing, closing the car's door right behind him.

You unbuckled the seatbelt and repeated the action, trying hard to keep up the pace of his fast steps and thinking about what was going to be in store for you the minute you two were alone.

This wasn’t the first time Hyunjin got defensive and jealous, but it was the very first time he showed it in such a manner.

Usually, he would wait up until you were in his bed to bring up the topic, teasing you about one of his friends flirting with you or a random man on the street checking you out. Far from bothering him, he kind of liked it.

He liked the idea of men desiring you, knowing that it wasn’t reciprocal. He adored the idea of being him the one with the privilege of touching you – that no matter how much others wanted you, you were all his.

Nevertheless, this time was different because he felt threatened.

He felt threatened by Changbin.

He felt threatened by the way he caught you staring at him several times, your gaze lost in thought every time you spoke to him. He felt threatened about the way your body language changed whenever you were around him, how you would become softer, gentler.

He felt threatened by the fact that Changbin was a thousand times better at expressing his feelings than he was. And he felt threatened by the idea that he could easily lose you to him.

“Get inside,” he murmured again, resting his hand on your lower back, and pushing you inside the elevator.

A much softer push than you had expected.

“Why are you mad?” You queried, not daring to look at him.

Why was he mad? He found the question and your naivety rather amusing.

It was obvious.

It was obvious how intoxicated he was from you, how much he desired you to be only his. It was clear that he was too into you to let you go, that he was emotionally and physically completely at your mercy.

It was obvious to everyone, except you.

“Hyunjin-” you were cut as soon as the doors of the elevator opened, revealing an empty hallway in front of the both of you.

A hallway you had walked a million times, but that tonight made you feel smaller. Even vulnerable.

But saying that you were scared was far from being true because you weren’t.

You stepped out of the elevator first, so you soon found yourself facing the black door of his apartment, your arse pressing against his crotch while he stood up behind you.

His hand reached out for the keys inside the pockets of his black pants, the sound of them taking you by surprise.

“Open,” he commanded as he placed the keys on your right hand, the cold feeling of the metal against your warm skin sending shivers down your spine.

There was something threatening about the contrast between the cold tone of his voice and his warm touch, how gentle he was even when you knew his insides were raging in jealousy.

He would never do anything to hurt you -and you knew that-, but you still felt your heartbeats racing at the thought of an unknown side of him.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, defenseless.

Truth is, there was nothing to be sorry about. He didn’t need an apology and he didn’t ask for one either. You knew you shouldn’t have to apologize but you still did.

Because that’s how much power he had on you.

“For what?” he asked you while letting a soft laugh, his fingers locating the light switch.

He knew what answer you were going to give him but, if anything, that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted you to apologize for even thinking about someone else that wasn’t him because he had never been able to think about anyone else that wasn’t you.

But of course, he would never ask you to say such a thing out loud.

“For tonight…,” you murmured, walking inside and shivering at the change of temperature between the cold hallway and the warmth of his place.

“What did you do tonight?” he asked you again and that only made you ten times more confused.

What was he playing to?

He kept on staring at you the whole evening, drowning in jealousy and anger. He acted all defensive in front of Changbin, not even caring about raising suspicions from the rest. He then drove you all the way to his place without saying a single thing or looking at you, and now he was acting as alienated as he could?

“Come on,” you groaned, losing your tense countenance and huffing, “you are never going to change, will you?”

You rested the leather strap of your purse on your shoulder and walked towards the recently closed door again, ready to leave his apartment.

Nonetheless, you didn’t count on how fast he could get from the small coffee table to your place until you felt his big hands gripping both of your wrists and gently slamming you against the door

“I asked you something,” he murmured, his plump lips brushing against yours and making you taste the white wine he had previously drink with a faint of mint and vanilla. “Are you not going to answer me?”

“I take it back,” you breathed, tilting your head against his lips. “The one who should be apologizing it’s actually you and not me”.

“What for?”

“Acting like an asshole in front of everyone”.

“I barely said anything,” he defended himself with a faint manipulative tone in his voice, eyebrows frowning as if he didn’t understand your statement.

“Like that’s any better,” you scoffed, fixing your eyes on his.

You interacted enough with him daily to recognize the changes in his gaze whenever he was feeling some type of way. Usually, he had those round doe eyes, almost as if he was confused or lost all the time. His gaze would feel lighter, too, even gentle.

But right now, as he was staring down at you, his eyes were far from being gentle. His irises were darker, almost black, and you wondered how possible it was for you to fall apart between his arms just by making eye contact with him.

“I was angry because you spent the whole night flirting with Changbin,” he mumbled, his fingers reaching out for a strand of your hair while he pushed it behind your ear. “What else did you want me to do?”

“Ah-,” you smirked proudly, realizing that it didn’t take you long to get him to speak on the issue. “Well, that sounds like a you problem, doesn’t it?”

“You made it your problem the minute you decided to bring the topic up,” he teased you with such a serious countenance that made your whole body shudder. “After all, this is what you wanted, wasn’t it? To make me jealous”.

“Maybe,” you hummed with your eyes fixed on his plump lips that were inviting you to have a taste of them. “Or maybe you are just irrelevant, and I am truly into Changbin”.

There it was, again: the need to hurt his ego.

“Right,” he scoffed, trying to keep his self-control. “As if less than 3 hours ago you weren’t begging for me to cum inside you”.

The sudden dirty talk and choice of words made your heart skip a beat or two, recalling the previous moments to Jeongin’s birthday dinner.

“Changbin spent the whole night complimenting you, begging you for a second of your attention and probably thinking about fucking you, yet I was the one inside you without even touching you,” he bragged, the urges of wanting to erase that proud smirk on his face growing bigger every time he opened his mouth. “And still, you managed to look all pretty and pure with my cum leaking out of your cunt”.

“You are sick,” you sneered, feeling certain tension building up on your lower back due to the mixture of his words and the physical teasing.

“And what are you?” he queried, the tip of his tongue dragging along your lower lip and tasting the strawberry balm on it. “Because I can assure you that you are not any saner”.

“What kind of sane person would get possessive over a friend?” you boldly asked him, not sure if you wanted an answer to your question.

However, the vibrant sound of his cellphone interrupted the heated argument between the two of you and he couldn’t help but smile, knowing that he wasn’t ready to give a proper response to your question.

“I want you naked with your legs spread on my bed,” he commanded without giving you any more time to continue the debate. His eyes scanned your whole figure from head to toe, stopping right at the sight of your legs. “Take everything off but your skirt”.

He turned his back at you, walking towards the minimalist living room of his apartment while he picked up the call.

“Yeah,- I was busy, yeah-” The faint sound of his voice kept on resonating in your ears as you made your way to his room that, as usual, was neatly organized as if it wasn’t inhabited by a man in his early twenties.

He kept talking, but you got lost in your own thoughts as you tried to figure your own feelings about this.

You liked him –more than you ever wanted to admit– but you were also conflicted about the casual relationship you two were having. It bothered you how he was never forward about what he wanted, but he was extremely vocal about what he didn’t.

You were sure he didn’t want you to see other people, but you weren’t even sure if he wanted you in the first place.

And you were too lost in your own world that you didn’t notice Hyunjin’s presence until you felt his warm body behind yours, attaching his hands to your hips as you faced the edge of the bed.

“I thought I made myself clear,” he whispered against your neck, his hands moving from your hips to your shoulders as he dragged the cotton fabric of your cardigan from you. “Or is it that I have to do everything for you?”

You shook your head.

“I was just thinking,” you answered him, taking control of your body and removing the cardigan yourself. “About how much of a coward you are”.

He did listen to your insult loud and clear, but he chose to ignore it for the very sake of you.

Your arms reached out to leave the cardigan on the bed, but he stopped you. “Hand it over”.

His hands were quick to spot the wrap of the cherry lollipop on the right pocket of your clothing and he kept it under his possession without telling you what he wanted it for. “Now, take everything off except for your skirt”.

Suddenly, the sentiment of defeat was quick to appear inside you.

You had promised yourself a million times that you were not going to fall for Hyunjin’s charms again, yet you always found yourself following his commands and wishing to be between his arms.

You were weak, but it wasn’t entirely your fault.

You removed the blouse you were wearing –along with your laced underwear– and just as you were about to bend over and remove your high-thigh socks, he interrupted you again. “Leave them on too,” he commanded, making you stop right on your tracks, “that’s actually for my delight”.

Now you were almost completely naked and timid, noticing how you were exposed and he still had every single one of his clothes on.

“You look so pretty like this,” he praised you as you slowly followed his orders, sitting on the bed and spreading your legs for him. “I just know that Changbin thought about you this way once or twice throughout the dinner”.

Your skin heated up at the comment and you wondered if that statement was anywhere near the truth.

“Too bad he isn’t getting any of this tonight,” Hyunjin smiled, walking towards you, and positioning himself right between your parted legs. “Or do you wish he did?”

You didn’t respond.

Instead, your eyes fixed on the following actions the man in front of you did. He was no longer holding your cardigan with his hands but, instead, it had been replaced by the round, cherry lollipop. He unwrapped the candy right in front of your eyes and grazed it against your slick lips, giving you a sweet taste of it.

“Isn’t he such a gentleman?” he asked you, his cock twitching at the sight of your doe eyes looking right at him while your tongue stuck out ever so slightly to get a better taste of the lolly. “Paying for your meal, giving you a candy… all of that just because he wants to get between your legs”.

“And what if he does?” you queried, watching how he withdrew the lollipop from your lips only to suck on it right in front of you. “What if I’m the one that wants him between my legs?”.

“Then you can leave and go to his place,” he mumbled, wrapping his tongue around the red candy. “I’m not holding you hostage, you can leave if you want to”.

Yet, you didn’t.

You just sat there in silence, looking right at him with a timid gaze, feeling pity for yourself.

You could’ve told him that you weren’t feeling like going to his place the minute you saw him skipping your building street, but you didn’t.

You could’ve told him that you were going back to your apartment as soon as you got out of his car, but you didn’t.

He wasn’t forcing you to do anything, yet you still followed through with every single one of his orders. All because you simply couldn’t get enough of him.

“That’s what I thought,” he snickered, taking the lollipop out of his mouth with a loud pop.

You then felt one side of the mattress sinking as he rested his knee on it, approaching your body from the side and leaning down to be able to be closer to you.

“Let’s see if you were good tonight,” Hyunjin whispered, guiding the slick candy to your hardened buds that were waiting for his touch.

He worked his movements on your nipples, teasing them with the lollipop that was wet with his saliva. He brushed it against your areolas without touching you where you needed him the most, leaving a sticky trail that he was quick to erase with his tongue.

“God-” you whispered under your breath; your lustful gaze fixed on hyunjin’s eyes that were staring at you as he sucked on your nipples eagerly. “I despise you so much”.

“Mhm,” he hummed against your breasts, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure throughout your whole body and contributing to the tension on your lower abdomen to grow.

His tongue kept on teasing the perfect points of your chest for a while, making you arch your back and squeeze your thighs together every time he nibbled at the tender skin of your breasts. Your hand was quick to bury on his dark hair as you pressed him even harder against you, wanting him to never stop.

Hyunjin knew how much you liked to have your tits played with, and he never missed an opportunity to indulge you that way. Even better when he kept you fully satisfied, sucking on one of them while toying with the other.

Soon, the hand that was once working on your chest moved all the way to your wet core, lifting the skirt to have a better sight of your dripping cunt that –he knew– belonged to him and only him.

“Look at you,” he spoke while tilting his head. “You kept it inside you”.

Even though most of his arousal had been absorbed by your laced panties, there were still some remains that were leaking out you –along with your own fluids– and Hyunjin couldn’t feel prouder about it.

He withdrew his body from yours and straightened it up to have a better view of your pussy, one of his hands prying your thighs open while the other one teased your entrance with the red lollipop.

If he was sick for doing such a thing, you were even sicker because you utterly adored it.

“I wonder what Changbin would think about this,” Hyunjin mumbled while the candy got coated with your juices, brushing the tip of it against your inner thighs and your folds, avoiding that sweet spot where you needed him the most on purpose. “About how much of a bitch in heat you are for even allowing me to fuck you with it”.

You desperately bucked your hips against his touch, but he was quick to hold you down by pressing his hand on your lower abdomen. “Sluts like you don’t get to take control, do they?”

There he was, the real him.

The one that drove you insane.

The one that could have you on your knees whenever he pleased and wanted.

His hand moved towards your core, and it was only then when you felt the hard sweet rubbing against your entrance, collecting all your fluids mixed with his own arousal.

“It’s going to taste sweeter after this,” he taunted, making you feel the slightest pressure against your cunt. “And you are going to lick it clean”.

You closed your eyes shut as your head rolled back, your hands flying all the way to the back of your knees to keep your legs spread for him.

His hand moved from your pussy to your bundle of nerves, pressing the lolly against it while he motioned it in circles. That alone was the stimulation needed for you to let out a sinful noise that was probably heard in the whole floor.

“Like that,” you breathed, feeling how you were getting even wetter than you already were. “Faster, please”.

His cock painfully hardened, not only because of your words but also because of the lewd scene he was witnessing. Your breasts were decorated with his saliva while your core was glistening with your wetness, his cum, and the traces the lollipop left behind each time he dragged it against your slit.

From your clit to your tight hole, he just couldn’t stop indulging himself by fucking you with it. So, as soon as you felt the lack of stimulation on your bundle of nerves, you realized what the following action was going to be.

“Make sure to thank Changbin for the lolly next time you see him,” Hyunjin spoke as the rounded candy went inside you with a slow movement, the task being rather easy as you were practically dripping wet. “Tell him that we both liked it very much”.

You moaned at the feeling, but it wasn’t enough. It didn’t feel enough.

It was nowhere near his digits nor his big cock, but it was something.

Filthy, nasty, and even humiliating, but it was something.

“So cute,” he laughed once he saw your throbbing cunt clenching around it every time he took it out of you before inserting it again. “I fucked you not too long ago, yet you are still desperate to have your hole full with anything”.

“It doesn’t feel like you,” you whined, one of your hands flying to your clit in hopes of getting a bit more stimulation. “It is not as big as you”.

“Mhm, it is not,” he hummed, salivating at how shiny it looked each time he pulled it out from you. “Nothing will ever come close to what I make you feel”.

You closed your eyes shut, feeling overwhelmed at the sensation of your digits against your clit and the maneuvers of Hyunjin.

“Not your fingers, nor your toys, nor the pillows you like to hump or the plushies you like to ride will ever get close to how my cock can make you feel,” he groaned, increasing the peace of his hand to match yours. “Not even Changbin nor any other man can make you feel like I can”.

You arched your back against the mattress and, after thinking that it was going to take you hours to cum just by that single item alone, you were proven wrong. Your legs tried to close around Hyunjin’s arm while your whole body trembled under his touch, but he was quick to stop you from doing so.

“Hyunjin, I-” you wanted to tell him that you were close, but you couldn’t. Not when your orgasm was faster to hit you than you could even articulate a coherent sentence.

You moaned his name repeatedly, trying to close your legs as he forced them open, wanting to see every second of your high with his own eyes.

Your hand flew to your hardened buds and you pinched them harshly as you felt your orgasm washing upon you, your hips sloppily bucking against him while the tension on your lower abdomen unraveled.

“That’s it, make a mess,” he groaned, looking at how your arousal was squirting out of you with such intensity that he could cum just by the sight of it.

You whined and cried as you felt the wetted bedsheets beneath you, but you couldn’t stop. Wave after wave of pleasure took control of your whole body and soon, you became nothing but pure lust.

“Don’t stop,” you cried, feeling hurt by the overstimulation but still wanting him to go further with it, “Don’t fucking stop”.

Your weak hands looked for their initial position on your clit again, but Hyunjin had already taken care of it. Rubbing it with his right hand while the other worked the candy in and out of you, you couldn’t stop your insides from building up the same, unquestionable tension again.

“I bet you were fantasizing about having your holes filled the whole dinner, didn’t you?” Hyunjin groaned as his movements acquired roughness. “Always wet and ready to be used”.

“Yes,” you cried, tears streaming down your face while your legs trembled. “Fuck, yes”.

“But be used by who?” Hyunjin queried, mocking naivety, “by Changbin?”

“No, Hyune,” you whined, feeling how your second orgasm was closer than you had expected. “Not him- not- fuck”.

“Then who?” he asked you again, feeling how your legs were threatening to close again around his arm. “Who gets to fuck you whenever he pleases and who gets to use all of your holes when he feels like it?”

“You,” you moaned -almost yelled. “I promise, just you”.

“And what’s my name?” he questioned you, stopping his task to cup both of your cheeks and force your gaze on him. “What’s my fucking name?”

“Hyunjin-” you gasped, bucking your hips at the lack of stimulation on your clit, “Just Hyunjin”.

“Good girl,” he cooed with a smile. Soft, gentle, and completely opposite to what his filthy hands were doing on you.

He resumed his task and the tension resumed unraveling, leaving you as nothing but a mindless, desperate mess.

“Look at me when you cum,” Hyunjin ordered you, no longer caring if you closed your legs around him because he couldn’t afford to keep them open anymore. “Open your eyes and look at me or you don’t cum at all”.

You tried your best to fulfill the given condition, even when you were too overwhelmed to even keep your head up. Your half-lidded eyes found his and that was the last push you needed to fall apart in front of him again, closing your legs tightly around him and desperately bucking your hips like a needy pup in heat.

“Don’t look away,” he grunted as he felt your juices dripping out of you, continuing working only on your over-stimulated bundle of nerves. “Look at the only man who can make you cum like this”.

And soon, it became too much to handle.

He was too much to handle, but you loved it.

“Hyunjin,” you gasped, your hand wrapping against his wrist. “No, no, no, no-”

Hyunjin quickly understood and withdrew himself from you, worried that he might’ve had hurt you.

However, you made sure to not use your safe word because you didn’t really want him to stop. You just wanted him to give yourself a small break to overcome your high before moving on to something else.

As you took time to stabilize yourself, his hand moved from your cunt to your mouth, still holding the candy that was covered in all sorts of fluids that you could hardly tell apart from each other.

“Open your mouth,” he commanded as he placed the sweet against your swollen lips, giving you a taste of it.

You stuck your tongue out, allowing him to prude the lollipop inside your warm hole. You wrapped your lips around it as you sucked it clean, using your tongue as much as you could while it grazed against his fingers.

“You are so fucking dirty,” he hissed, looking at your teary eyes staring at him with pure lust. “All corrupted by me”.

That was true. Hyunjin hadn’t been your first sexual partner, but he was sure the one who taught you the most.

“Does it taste good?” Hyunjin asked you, admiring how eagerly you sucked on the lollipop. You bopped your head up and down as you continued tasting the bitterness, sweetness, and saltiness in every lick you gave it. “So cute”.

He took the lollipop out of your mouth with a loud pop before standing up from the bed, removing his clothes, and releasing his –already– painful erection right in front of your eyes.

And it didn’t matter how many times you had seen it or taken it, it always sent shivers down your spine because of how big he truly was.

“Get on your knees,” he hissed, throwing the lollipop away while both of his hands secured his long hair into a ponytail. “And let me give you what you had been craving the whole night”.

As obedient as you were, you positioned yourself right in front of him with your knees against the pillows he had laid on the ground to make it more comfortable for you.

Your hands instinctively traveled all the way to your back, and you kept them there, solely sticking out your tongue with your mouth open so Hyunjin could fuck it and use it as he pleased.

Whether it was because of how long you two had been fucking each other or an innocent gesture, Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel proud about how he had conditioned you to do certain things in bed.

Things you weren’t used to doing before him, like that one.

“You want me to fuck your pretty mouth”? he asked you while his veiny hands got lost in your hair, guiding your head all the way to his throbbing cock. “Is that what you want?”

“Mhm,” you hummed, still with your mouth open and your tongue out.

“Whose cock do you want inside your mouth?”

“Yours” you answered him.

“Just mine?”

“Just yours,” and as if those were some sort of magic words, Hyunjin guided your head all over his length with a slow movement.

He was eager to fuck your mouth as he liked it, but he was also gentle the very first minutes that you usually used to get used to his length.

“Such a good slut,” he complimented you, his eyes admiring how you obediently kept both of your arms behind your back laced onto one another. “My good slut”.

As time passed by and your throat was stretched enough by his cock, the thrusts of his hips against your lips became faster and rougher, almost as if he was retaliating on you.

But, if you were being honest, that’s what you wanted.

That’s what you had been wishing for the minute you stood a foot in his apartment.

“I am sure any man would kill to have you like this,” Hyunjin groaned, his head falling slightly back while his eyes rolled to the back of his head. “I am sure they fantasize about fucking you, but I am the only one who can”.

You started to cough and gag around him as his thrusts speeded up, but he didn’t care. Not when your mouth was drooling and making a mess on your chin and breasts, and your eyes were tearing up at the aggressive sensation.

“Because you are mine,” he panted, his lower lip getting caught between his teeth, “Because I am the only one who can use you like this”.

Your hands moved from your back to his toned thighs, digging your fingernails on his skin and making him hiss at the sharp pain.

“You are only mine and I am only yours,” he groaned without even thinking his words twice, but you were too focus on taking him on your mouth than you could hardly pay attention to the words that were falling from his lips. “Your whole body was perfectly made for me and only me”.

With a loud groan, Hyunjin held your head in place while his cock touched the deepest spots on your throat, your nose grazing against his pubis while you closed your eyes and furrowed your eyebrows at the sensation of being completely full.

“Don’t clean yourself up after this,” he quickly murmured before pulling his cock out of you, immediately making you drool over his length and yourself.

Your skirt and high-thighs were stained with saliva, your makeup and hair were ruined, your eyes were tearing up and your chin and breasts were complretely covered in your own drool.

But Hyunjin loved it.

He loved how dirty you looked with such pure eyes that he sometimes wondered how you could shape-shift from an innocent woman to a desperate, filthy slut.

He cupped your cheeks with one of his hands as he leaned over on you, forcing your mouth open while you stared right up at him.

“Do you think Changbin’s cock can make you gag and drool like this?” he asked you with such cockiness that your cunt clenched around thin air. “No?, you don't think Changbin’s cock can stretch your slutty mouth like this?”

You shook your head repeatedly while tears continue to stream down your cheeks.

“Tell me”.

“Your cock is the biggest one I have had,” you mumbled with a husky tone. “It is so fucking big, Hyune”.

“Go on,”

“I don't want Changbin to fuck me,” you panted, feeling the heat between your legs growing each time a word fell from your lips. “I don't want anyone else to fuck me but you. All I want is your cock filling all of my holes every fucking hour”.

Hyunjin forced your mouth open again and spitted on it harshly, his saliva mixing with your drool and his precum in your tongue.

“Hungry slut,” he groaned, watching how you swallowed proudly his spit. “You are always thinking about my cock, aren't you?”

You nodded.

“Remember that time you were too desperate to have me that you ended up cumming by just humping my leg?” he asked you and, as you recalled the memory, you felt a bit embarrassed. “No one will ever be able to have you as desperate as you were that day, and you know why?”

You looked at him in silence, waiting for his next words.

“Beacuse you are conditioned to only cum when you are with me,” he mumbled, his fingers prudding into your mouth while you immediately sucked on them. “You can try and fuck anyone you want but I can assure you that whenever you feel like cumming, you will be looking for my hands and my gaze only”.

With a soft movement, he helped you to stand up from the pillows before laying down on the bed, his hardened length throbbing and begging for you to sit on it as soon as possible.

You soon followed his actions and sat down on top of him, grabbing the base of his cock and aligning it with your entrance to take him completely.

An easy task, considering how wet and ready you were to be fucked by him.

“He was right,” Hyunjin breathed, his hands grabbing the hems of your skirt. “This looks so good on you”.

Only then it struck you why he wanted you to leave it on: because Changbin complimented it.

And because he did, ruining you while wearing it only reminded Hyunjin that he was the one who owned you, not him.

Your hips started to move against him, alternating between circular motions and small jumps every now and then –as much as your sore legs allowed you to–. Your hands were attached to your breasts while you massaged them for him, pinching your nipples and –overall– putting a cute show for him.

“Do you play with your tits like that whenever you hump your pillows like the pathetic pup in heat you are?” he suddenly asked you and you moaned at his words. “Do you beg for my cock even when i am not there with you?”

Even though the questions were a bit embarrassing, they weren't far from the truth. You nodded while you placed your hands against his chest, taking advantage of it and bopping your hips up and down along his length.

“Ride me faster,” Hyunjin groaned, both of his hands attached to your hips while guiding your movements. “I want to see your tits bouncing and I want you to squirt on my cock again”.

Your weak legs could only handle much but you still went through with his commands.

One of your hands traveled all the way to your clit and you rubbed it slowly as you tried to match the pace of your hips.

It felt heavenly, as it always did.

Hyunjin's cock felt heavenly, because it seemed like it was made especially for you. Thick, big and always hitting all the right spots inside your dripping cunt.

“You are so fucking tight,” Hyunjin groaned, biting his lower lip. “So warm and wet for me”.

Your head fell back while your hips continued on moving in circular motions around him, more to your own pleasure than to his.

“I am not going to last long,” you admitted in the brink of tears, your digits speeding up its pace as your hips rolled sloppily against him. “Your cock just- it feels- so good, so big-”.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you found the strength to finish your sentence, your nipples hardening and your toes curling at the sudden sensation of your arousal.

“Hyunjin-” you whined, clenching around his cock without even moving, “I am cumming again”.

With the little strength that was left in you, you raised both of your hips and squirted your orgasm right on top of his cock and his toned abdomen.

Your fingers never stopped rubbing your clit, not even when the overstimulation kicked in, and Hyunjin couldn't believe how hard his cock was getting just by the sight of a masochist you, drowned in the pleasure and pain.

“Look at the mess you made,” Hyunjin groaned, delighted to see your whole body shaking on top of him, “you filthy slut”.

Your head fell down and your weak body sat on top of his abdomen covered with your own orgasm.

“Thank you,” you responded, both to his words and the third orgasm of your night.

However, just because you were done it didn't mean that he was.

With a swift movement, he managed to slam his cock inside your tight hole again while your sore body fell on top of his, your face hiding at the crook of his neck.

Hyunjin's hands lifted your hips while he accommodated himself underneath you, the new position allowing him to be the one in control and not you.

You placed both of your arms on each side of his face as you felt him slamming his hips against yours with such a rough pace that was definitely not like what you were used to.

“Hyunjin, fuck–” you yelled, the pain of the overstimulation mixed with the painful stretch he was providing you almost driving you insane. “Your cock–”

“Shut up and take it,” he groaned, keeping a steady pace on his thrusts.

Even though you were already too fucked out to enjoyed it properly, you still allowed yourself to drown in the intoxicated jealousy that was now coming to light.

“Don't forget that you are mine and mine only,” he continued, the grip on your hips being too strong that tou were sure there were going to appear a few bruises tomorrow morning. “You were mine from the first time I fucked you and no one will change that”.

You moaned in pleasure at his words, immersed in how much deeper his voice sounded.

“You are my slut,” he panted, one of his hands flying from your hips to your hair, grabbing a fistful of it and forcing your head to look at him. “Say it”.

“I am your slut”.

“Tell me how grateful you are for my cock”.

“I am so fucking grate–” you cried at the feeling of his cock hitting your sweet spot repeatedly, “God, I fucking love your big cock”.

Hyunjin kept on pounding your cunt while forcing you to look at him, his cock twitching at the sight of your fucked out gaze and your messy makeup.

“I bet you would love for Changbin to see how much of a slut you are,” he groaned and, immediately afterwards, he felt you clenching around him. “Yeah, you would love that?”

“Yes,” you panted, breathless, “I would love for Changbin to see how much of a slut I am for you”.

“Instead, why don't we have all of my friends watching how I fuck you?” he asked you and it was then where you felt his hips losing their steady pace. “I bet they would love to see you all messy and sweaty, grinding against my lap and trying to make me cum inside your pussy”.

Hyunjin's hands returned to their original place at your hips while he continued on thrusting his cock inside you, too close to reach his orgasm but yet too far from relieving the negative sentiments he felt throughout the night.

“I want to fuck you in front of all of them,” he admitted, his cock twitching at the sound of your whines. “I want to fuck you in front of all of them for hours, until you beg for me to stop. I want to fill your tight little pussy with my semen as they watch, hearing how you desperately moan my name over and over and beg for me to let you cum”.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes,” you cried, gripping the pillows underneath Hyunjin’s head.

“I want everyone to know that you are mine and that I own you,” he finally grunted, his hips slamming against yours for the last time, “And i don't care if i have to fuck you in front of anyone for them to understand that i don't even want them to lay their eyes on you”.

He pulled his cock out of you while his hand continued on desperately pumping it, trying hard to not to cum just yet.

You didn't need to say anything else for him to understand that you wanted him to cum on you so, as fast as he could, he kneeled right next to you while he stroked his length right over your face.

“Cum on my mouth,” you panted, both of your hands teasing your sore nipples while you licked the leaking of his cock with the tip of your tongue. “I want to taste you”.

It didn't take him long to release himself on your mouth and chin, decorating them with his hot arousal while he cursed under his breathe at the sight of your playful smile.

He didn't even wait for you to swallow it when he was already leaning over to kiss you, capturing your lips with his in a sloppy kiss that was anything but clean.

His tongue licked yours while he tasted himself from your mouth, making you moan as he sucked on your lower lip.

“Changbin's lollipop was nothing compared to how delicious you taste,” you murmured with a fucked out smile, getting the last taste of him from his lips.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #kpop smut #hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut

2K notes · View notes

greta-van-chaos · 2 years

Note

Could I request a twin situation where there is slight jealously, kinky sex, ect, smut please…. You can do whatever you want with it.

Rocket Queen

Josh and Jake Kiszka x Reader - NOT TWINCEST CMON

Warnings | Explicit sexual content, cursing, mentions of sex under the influence, toxic behavior tbh, jealousy, humiliation, edging, hairpulling, use of a belt, choking, degradation, slapping, oral (m & f receiving), f/m dom, f/m sub, audio recording of a sexual encounter (consensually!!!), spitting!!!, i literally went all out

Word Count | 5.5k words

Authors Note | THIS IS TOTALLY UNEDITED MY APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE (SPOILERS) I love this request so much! I've been wanting to go all out with a fic and this is the perfect opportunity to do so! The title and overall fic inspiration is from the song Rocket Queen by Guns 'n' Roses. In the song there's a girl moaning and it's the drummers girlfriend sleeping with the singing after he cheated on her. They literally put her moaning in the song!!! Figured I'd do something similar :) YES i sorta stole a little something for abaddon so full credit goes to garbagevanfleet <3

You knew it wasn't a good idea. Hell, it shouldn't have even been an idea in the first place but after a drink too many Sam was just looking too good in that cable knit sweater. After another shot for confidence, you made your move, pressing up against him when he helped you line up your cue for a game of pool. Without you even trying he was already getting hard, probably from how drunk you all were and your purposeful choice of skimpy clothing. It didn't take long after that for him to be muttering the cliché phrase lets get out of here into your ear and then fucking you senseless when you made it back to his house.

Now you're stuck with Sam's arm firmly holding you against him. You hadn't meant to fall asleep but he was so warm and you were so drunk. Upon realizing that the twins could come in to get Sam to go into the studio at literally any moment you shoot up in bed and scramble to find your clothes. You've stayed over at the guys house before but never like this... it was sort of an unspoken agreement that your relationships were all strictly platonic. It's not like you felt romantically for Sam, you were just sexually frustrated and he was willing to help you out, surely the twins could understand that if they found out, which was almost certain considering Sam couldn't keep his mouth shut.

"Woah, woah, woah, what's wrong y/n?" Clearly you had woken Sam in your flurry of anxiety. He stares down at your from your kneeling position on the hardwood floor as you gather your clothes.

"If Jake and Josh know I'm in here for the reason i'm in here, who knows what could happen." You tug on your shirt as quickly as you can but get your head stuck and groan impatiently as you untangle yourself.

"They won't care!" You can hear it in his voice that he doesn't believe that for one second.

"Sure, whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night, Sammy. Either way, I'm not sticking around."

"Aren't you coming to the studio with us?" He's now getting up and dressed himself as well and you can help but look over his naked form as he stands.

"I was but i don't think that's such a good idea anymore."

"Oh yeah, make us look even more sus-"

A loud knock on the door cuts off the bassist and you both share a look of horror when it swings open and both Jake and Josh are standing behind it.

"Oh, sorry, are we interrupting?" Jake chides "We're going to the studio but plans have changed a bit. We don't need you to record your bass today."

Sam looks perplexed but also slightly relieved. "Text me if you change your mind."

"You, on the other hand, we need you to come with us." Josh's voice holds more malice than you're used to and both of the twins eyes have a shine that lets you know they're planning something.

"Why? I'm not even in the band."

"We just need you for some background vocals."

It wasn't uncommon for you to occasionally step in and sing a bit but by the way that Jake is looking at you, you can tell it's not going to be a regular day at the studio.

"Meet us in the car when you're decent." Josh's voice is slightly cutting and when he motions to your bare legs your cheeks flame with embarrassment, you hadn't even noticed your lack of bottoms.

After getting properly dressed you give Sam a weary look and head downstairs to the car. Josh is sitting in the passenger seat and Jake is in the driver's which leaves you to sit in the back. The air in the car is thick with tension and you gulp when the car doors lock and Jake starts driving.

Jake is first to break the silence, "What the fuck was that about, y/n?"

You play coy, hoping it'll help you in the long run, "What do you mean?"

"Don't fucking do that shit, it's pathetic. Why the fuck were you in our brothers bed this morning?"

You want to bite back with some comment about how he never actually saw you in the bed but think better of it as you notice his hands gripping the steering wheel impossibly tight. "We were just having some fun, we got stupid drunk last night and made a bad decision, so what?"

"So what?" Josh echoes with a bitter laugh.

"Is this you choosing a side? Do you like Sam better than us, do you think we couldn't make you feel just as good, angel?" The way Jake says angel makes your stomach flip but you try your best to hide how he's effecting you.

You want to laugh at his inclusion of Josh, as if the two of them are unit but once again think better of such an action when they both look so serious. "You two must be on something, it was obviously a mistake! It's not like i'm in love with him or something."

"We just feel left out, is all." Josh chimes in.

"Everything has to be a fucking competition with you three." You cross your arms over your chest a turn your head to look our the window. The rest of the drive is spent in complete silence which couldn't unsettle you more. When Jake finally pulls into the lot of the studio you jump at the opportunity to get out a stretch your legs, finding yourself very sore from the previous nights affair.

"Looks like Sammy fucked you good." Jake groans as he watches you bend to touch your toes and wince. You can feel him running his hand over the swell of your ass and so you stand abruptly, following behind Josh into the studio.

Once in the small, red carpeted room you turn on your heel and face the twins. "What is it that you need me to record? I wanna get this over with so I can get the fuck out of here."

"Well, we have sort of an obscure idea." They both look at you expectantly and so you nod for Josh to continue. "We heard you last night and well, we wanted to record some of that for ourselves to put in Lover, Leaver."

You're so taken aback that you actually take a step away from the boys and laugh, defensively crossing your arms over your chest. "Are you fucking insane?"

"Well, we also have a little bet you see. I think I can get prettier moans out of you than Joshy boy here can."

Once again you laugh in disbelief, brining your fingers up to massage your temples "Oh my god, you're serious."

"Come on angel, you sounded so pretty, give us a little taste for the new record." Jake steps towards you, pulling you by your wrist and placing a kiss to it.

"We think it's only fair that we get to hear it too, since you went behind our backs and fucked our little brother." Josh is now advancing on you too, tilting your head towards him by your chin and running his thumb over your bottom lip.

Jake now has a hold on your waist and brings his lips to your neck, running his tongue over your pulse point. You thread your fingers into his hair and do the same to Josh with your other hand. When dips to actually kiss your lips you arch your back into him. All possible frustrations have melted on your tongue and all you can imagine now is getting absolutely destroyed by these two in the recording booth.

"Guys--" You breathe out but a paralyzing wave of lust rushes over you and you succumb to their subtle touches. "Fine, I'll do it."

"Good girl. Now get in the booth and take your clothes off." Jake practically growls.

Your body is tingling with electricity and every step you take makes you shiver with excitement, who knew it would be so easy to get you to say yes? When you step into the booth you close the door carefully behind you and begin to strip. There's a worn leather couch and a table inside, along with a bunch of amps that aren't plugged into anything. You don't bother making a show of taking your clothes off, you just hurriedly pull them from your body until you're down to your bra and underwear.

You watch from the glass as the boys have some sort of conversation that quite obviously involves you as they continue to motion to your almost naked form. Finally they both nod and Jake comes in.

"Are you familiar with the light system?" You're not expecting him to ask that so you stand like a deer in headlights, nodding aggressively. "Use your words and don't make me ask again."

"Yes, I am."

"Okay, if i were to ask you what colour you are right now what would you say?"

You bow your head, not necessarily out of embarrassment but just to let the contents of the situation really sink in "Green."

"Good." Jake takes a minute to walk around you, regarding your body and the way it trembles under his gaze. The air crackles with anticipation of what's to come and you know he can feel it just as much as you can. "Do you want me to touch you?"

You don't even have to think, letting the word slip out so effortlessly one would think you've done this with him before "Yes."

He steps towards you and you now become aware of Josh sitting on the other side of the glass, watching you with a hungry expression. Jake stands behind you and slides his hands along your stomach and up to cup your breasts. You push against him, arching into his touch. A moan leaves your lips when he brings his mouth to your necks and sucks a hickey into the delicate skin, all the while kneading your breasts through your lacey bra.

"Jake--" You whine and he snakes his hand up to your throat, effectively trapping you against him.

"Such a pretty mouth, saying such pretty things, did you sound like that when you were fucking Sam last night? I bet you sounded like a whiny little slut, begging for him to fuck you."

The odd tinge of jealousy in his voice is very uncharacteristic. You've all had your moments flirting with each other but it's never ended like this before. Jake starts to step backwards and you have no other option but to follow, your feet practically dragging on the floor as he walks you over to a waist high stack of amps.

"Bend over, pretty angel." He speaks into your hair and then releases you. You fall forward and he does nothing to help you as you scramble to place yourself against the amp. Without warning Jake grabs your panties and all but rips them off, throwing the fabric aside. "Jesus Christ, look at your pretty cunt all pink and wet for me."

"Jakey, please--"

A harsh slap lands on the swell of your ass and you jolt forwards, letting out a loud whine. Against your better judgement you cast your hand behind you, searching for Jake's hair, skin, anything that can anchor you to the moment.

"So fucking desperate, I wish you could see how pathetic you look right now." He lands another smack on your ass, this time harder and a sound short of a scream escapes your throat. You're shaking violently, lust drunk and touch starved. You can feel the ache between your legs growing and you have to squeeze your thighs together to get as much friction as you can.

"Touch me Jake, please" Your stumbling over your words, still reaching around behind you until your hand lands on something. When you look back you've grabbed Josh's arm and sigh, you hadn't seen him come in.

"Look at that, she's dripping all over her thighs." Josh laughs. He then bends down into a squat and drags his fingers through your folds, collecting your slick on his fingers and standing back up. "Open up." You obey and part your lips just enough for Josh to slide his fingers against your tongue. You suck desperately at the digits, trying to get as much as you can out of the simple gesture. His eyes are dark, pupils blown so wide you can barely see the chocolatey brown colour his irises typically hold.

"I brought you this" Josh says, now turning his attention to Jake. He's holding something in his hand but you can't crane your neck far enough to see it. Your body jolts when the feeling of leather being dragged across your reddened ass alerts you to the item Josh retrieved.

"Would you like to do the honors or shall I?" Jake soothes the skin of your ass with his palm, gently sweeping it over your burning flesh.

"You can, I'll hold her." Josh then directs his attention to you "What's your colour angel?"

"G-green" You stutter out, so incredibly turned on that your tongue will barely form words.

Jake runs the belt against your skin again before drawing back and cracking it against you. You yelp in surprise and moan when Josh's mouth goes to soothe over you with his tongue. Once he's pleased with himself he takes your wrists and moves to hold them against the small of your back. Jake kicks your legs open even more and now you're completely at their disposal, unable to move and completely spread out.

"Count to four for me angel, does that sound alright?"

You nod but he doesn't take that, instead he grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls you up so he can growl in your ear "Words, don't make me make it nine."

"Yes--" You let out a shuddering breath "--fuck, yes. That sounds fine."

Jake releases you and pets your head "You're sure you're green?" His whisper is so quiet that you barely catch it.

"Yes, keep going."

"Dirty girl." Josh jeers.

Finally you feel Jake draw back again and when the belt makes contact with the swollen skin of your ass you choke out "One."

Josh continues with his method of soothing, dragging his mouth over you and then allowing Jake to spank you again. The process is repeated until finally the last hit radiates through the room and you cry out, "Four!"

Giving you absolutely no time to recover Josh spins you around to face them. Your legs can barely hold you up and there's drool coating your chin. "Who do you want first?"

"You. I want you first, Josh." You don't even have to think about your choice, you already know Josh will be the kinder of the two and you'd much rather have an explosive grand finale with Jake.

"I'll go make sure we record this." The younger of the twins exits the booth and leaves you to stand shaking under Josh's gaze. His eyes are soft and he reaches out to caress your face, brushing some hair away from your eyes and wiping your chin.

"Where do you want me?" You whimper out, voice faltering to such a great extent that you wince.

"Awh, angel, you sound so fucked out already." His tone is teasing as he motions to the couch "I'll take it easy on you mama, go lay down over there."

You walk on wobbly legs over to the couch and do as he asked, laying back across the couch. Your bra is still perfectly in tact and you go to remove but Josh gives you a warning look. "What are you going to do to me?"

"I'm going to fuck you so hard the only name you'll remember is mine."

You throat goes dry and your tongue feels heavy and inflated in your mouth. "Please, Josh." The boys had barely touched you yet and you were already a shaking mess.

The singer sheds his shirt and starts to unbutton his jeans as he walks towards you. Your eyes are glued to his hands as he pulls down his pants but then they find the outline of his dick in his boxers and your eyes go wide. He was a god, his soft tummy and chest all tan and beautiful, you wanted to run your hands over his skin, drag your tongue down his chest.

You pull yourself up onto your knees and give him your best puppy dog eyes, "Can I please touch you?"

He moves to stand in front of you and forces you to meet his eyes by grabbing your chin. He first removes the confines of your bra and then with a curt nod lets you know that you can finally place your hands on him. You start slow, rubbing your hands from his thighs, to his hips, to his stomach, to his chest. Placing your finger tips on his shoulder which is as far as you can stretch your arms, you lean forward and press a kiss to his stomach. He sighs and tilts his head back as you continue, kissing down each side of his abdomen, dragging your tongue along his soft skin. Josh's hands are deep in your hair, scratching over your scalp as encouragement. When you reach his happy trail you cant help but drag your tongue over it. A shiver wracks through him and whiney moan leaves his lips.

"Do you want me to touch you somewhere else, Josh?"

He relinquishes the power he previously had, clearly too caught up in the idea of having your mouth on him. Josh was never a dominant person and you knew he'd break eventually. He nods his head frantically, pulling your mouth against him again but you move back, looking up at him through your lashes.

"Words, baby." You rake your nails over his hip bones and his hips jut forwards. "And here I thought I was the one about to get fucked until I can't speak, oh how the tables have turned."

"Please mama, don't make me wait."

Slowly, while still keeping eye contact you peel down his boxers and then watch as his cock springs free and slaps his stomach. He's so painfully hard that you hesitate in putting your mouth on him, taking him as far as you can without gagging. His moans are echoing through the booth and when you cast your gaze through the glass to Jake he's mindless scrolling on his phone, clearly waiting for you to be the one moaning, it almost makes you laugh.

You're sure when but at some point Josh's hold on your hair tightened. Now he's thrusting into your mouth at his own pace, not caring for whatever rhythm you had set. He's clearly pressing towards an end goal and you let him use you, relishing in the pretty whines floating past his lips as he fucks your mouth.

"I'm so close." He whimpers and you runs your hands up his thighs as encouragement. He's going impossibly fast now, thrusting sloppy into your mouth and tipping his head back his eyes squeezed shut. Without a second thought he lets go, releasing into your mouth and down your throat. He pulls out with a bit of a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, I got carried away, lay down, it's your turn." His switch in demeanor is laughable as he takes on his serious voice from before. You see Jake perk up from the other side of the glass and shoot him a little smirk. Laying on your back you spread you legs for Josh and watch his mouth hang agape at your eagerness.

"I need you so bad Josh, please." You make sure to really play it up that you have an active audience.

Josh licks his lips and kneels between your legs, pulling you to his mouth by your hips. His tongue is warm and soft against you and immediately you grab his curls, holding him to you as hard as you can manage. You tip your head back when he slides two fingers inside of you, allowing a deep moan to leave you. Locking eyes with Jake you purposefully moan again, this time louder and with more conviction.

"Josh-- Your mouth feels so fucking good, oh my god." You back arches up off the couch and he lays his tongue flat against your clit so you can grind onto him and build up your pleasure by yourself. Upon locking eyes with Jake again you continue to mutter Josh's name "No one's ever made me feel this good-- fuck--"

What once was a smirk painted on the guitarists mouth has turned into a bit of a scowl. Clearly he's a lot easier to make jealous than you had expected and that was a game you'd love to play if he'd keep treating you like he was earlier.

Frantically bucking your hips into Josh's mouth you let out you most obscene moan yet, sounding as though it was straight from a porno. Jake better be recording this cause if your moans are going into a song they need to be extravagant.

"God, I can feel your pretty cunt clenching around my fingers, are you gonna cum, angel?" His eyes are wide and with the way that he's looking at you you can't help but buck your hips against him harder.

"Yes-- fuck-- i'm so close Josh, please let me cum!" You don't know why you've begun to beg but it feels right and you can tell his likes it by the way his fingers pick up speed.

Unfortunately, right at the last second, right as you're about to come undone under him he pulls his fingers out of you and stops moving his tongue against you. You shoot up into a sitting position and uncomfortably shift your hips.

"Josh, please--"

He cuts you off, pressing a finger to your lips, "If you're gonna cum, you're gonna cum while i'm fucking you."

Shifting so he's sitting on the couch, legs spread, cock already hard again, he moves you into his lap. Your back is to the glass so you can't see Jake anymore which is slightly unsettling. Josh stalls a bit, sliding his cock between your folds and toying with your clit.

"Could you just get on with it?" You sound slightly more aggressive than you intended and he smacks your jaw a little bit harder than an innocent swat.

"The only thing I wanna hear from you is how good my cock is making you feel, understand?"

"Yes, sir--" You jest but his sinks you down onto him with as much force as he can muster. Your attitude is caught in your throat and the only thing you can focus on his how big he feels inside of you.

"Can't be mouthy with me now, can you? Barely done anything and I've already fucked you stupid, look at your face."

He's referencing how your mouth is hung agape and your eyes are squeezed shut. You're still trying adjust to his size so when he starts moving a scream-like moan tears through your chest. He's fast and harsh, your pelvises meeting at a bruising pace. Every time he shoves you down he completely bottoms out and the fullness is like nothing you've ever felt before. Your tits are bouncing in his face and he' completely transfixed by the sight.

"Fuck--" You head is tipped back and your fucking yourself on him relentlessly, following the pace he's created and intensifying it by moving in sync. You wrap your arms around his neck and press your face into the crook of his neck, crying out at the newer angle now that your bodies are flush against one another. You moans are slightly muffled by Josh's neck and just as you consider pulling yourself away a harsh tug at you hair pulls your head back. When you open your eyes are locked with Jake's. Why are these two so good at silently entering rooms?

"Open your mouth. Right now." Jake's voice is commanding and your lips immediately part. You watch him almost like it's an out of body experience as he harshly spits into your mouth and then presses your bottom jaw up to close your mouth. Josh's pace has grown a little sporadic while all of this unfolded, probably because you're clenching around him with fierceness you didn't know was inside of you.

"Do it again, Jake." You rasp, still locked in Jake's eyeline.

"Such a slut, begging for me to spit in her mouth." He speaking to Josh and you can feel the twins curly hair tickling your breasts when he nods. "Go on then, beg for it, angel."

"Please, Jakey, I want you to spit in my mouth. I need it."

A smirk paints his face and he nods, not needing more than that to persuade him. "Open up then, angel."

You hurriedly open you mouth, a little bit more than before and when he spits this time he dips his fingers into your mouth and spreads the mix of both of your saliva over your lips as an act of degradation.

Josh is slowly coming apart under you and you're not that far behind. Snaking your hand down between the two of your sweaty bodies you circle your clit, bucking your hips forward. Josh's head falls into the crook of your neck as he cums deep inside of you and after one particular jut of his hip you're sent spiraling into your own high. Jake presses his lips to yours from above you, Spiderman style and although you thought such a kiss would be awkward he somehow makes it that much more sensual. You're uncontrollably moaning and huffing deep breaths into his mouth as you come down and he swallows them all, now gripping your throat and kissing you with a newfound passion.

"It's my turn now." The slightly possessive edge to his voice makes you clench around Josh and he lets out a groan that Jake tries to ignore. "You think you can cum again, for me, angel?"

"Anything for you Jake."

The guttural moan that escapes you when Jake removes you from Josh's lap is slightly embarrassing and your cheeks actually flush red. Once on your feet Jake properly presses his lips to yours hungrily. He's gripping at your hips hard enough to bruise but you couldn't care, you're too focused on how good his lips feel against yours. Jake walks you backwards towards the glass wall and holds you against it by your neck.

"You need to clean yourself up." He growls and you don't really know what he's talking about until you become all too aware of Josh's cum creeping down your thighs. You dip your hand between your legs and gather as much of it as you can onto your fingertips and then put the cum-slicked digits into your mouth, making sure that Jake is holding the eye contact and that Josh is watching too.

"That's so much better." You sigh and give him a cute little smile.

"So fucking mouthy." Jake tsks and shoves his fingers into your mouth to silence any further sass. With his hand occupied he only has one to unbuckle his belt so you help him, gripping the leather and pulling closer. He makes a hmph noise that sends you reeling back into a state of pure lust, although you're not sure why. Your hands work feverishly at the belt and then you're pulling down his pants and releasing his cock from its confines. Jake lets out a strained groan when you start to pump him but he swats your hand away.

You try to form a sentence around his fingers but it comes out muffled, so he draws his hand back, wiping the spit across your lips as he did previously before letting you speak.

"Are you gonna fuck me Jake?" You bat your eyelashes and try to feign innocence but he sees right through it.

"I will but first, we're going to play a little game. Close your eyes." You don't even question him, you just let your eyes flutter shut and await his next words with baited breath. "If you can keep your eyes closed AND keep yourself from touching me, I'll fuck you however you want me to... but if you can't--" He pauses and you can now feel Josh at your side, brushing some stray hairs behind your ear "--Josh and I will edge until you're crying for us to stop."

"Does that sound good, angel?" Josh whispers against your neck.

You keep it short and simple, whimpering out a yes and then moving to hold your arms against the wall. You're expecting them to touch you but nothing happens instead you hear the door close and Jake's voice right in your ear.

"I can't wait to fucking ruin you."

His words make you want to reach out, thread your fingers through his hair and attack his mouth with your own but you hold fast and keep as still as you can. You squeeze your eyes shut until you see a vibrant array of colors swirling around your eyelids. Jake doesn't say anything else but you can still hear and feel him breathing heavily against your neck. Eventually he rests his head on your shoulder and that's when you can feel it. Every couple of seconds his fist lightly nudges your stomach and its so rhythmic that you can see what he's doing crystal clear in your mind.

"What are you doing, Jakey?" You breathe out, voice at least an octave higher than usual.

"I think you know the answer to that, angel." He hums, breathing growing heavier. He starts to press sloppy kisses to your neck, open mouthed and even just biting you on an offbeat. You start to notice his pace picking up and you long to drop to your knees and help him or even just to look upon his face as he finishes. As soon as the thought passes your mind you feel him pull away.

"Turn around, I can't wait any longer, I need to be inside of you."

You obey and press your face against the glass, probably giving Josh a great view of your tits if he's sitting in the chair that Jake had occupied before. Struggling to keep your eyes closed you let out a grunt of annoyance but it's quickly spun into a moan when Jake pushes into you.

"God, you're making such a fucking mess, you're so wet."

Jake curls his body over yours and starts thrusting into you. You place your palms against the glass and he puts his hands over yours, interlocking your fingers. He's driving into you with such force that in your semi-overstimulated state you already feel close to cumming. You wish you could see that way that Jake looked right now because his moans are deep and filling your ears so pleasantly.

"Please, Jake--" You're not even sure of what you're asking for but he seems to understand your body better than you, snaking his hand down to rub tight circles on your clit. You shake against him, unable to properly hold yourself up.

"Is my pretty angel gonna cum?"

"Mmm, Jake-- Please--" You can barely form a coherent sentence and when Jake withdraws the hand rubbing your clit and when you hear him spit on his fingers before toying with it again you cum around him, right then and there.

"Holy shit, you're gonna--" Jake is promptly cut off by his own orgasm taking hold of him. You can feel him filling you up so deliciously that you squeeze your eyes shut even harder. He keeps pounding into you, riding out his high until he's satisfied. "You can open your eyes now. Are you okay?"

You let yourself acclimatize once you can see again and then when he pulls out you turn around to face him. His cheeks are flushed red from exertion but maybe something else too as he has a sheepish grin on his face.

"I'm great, although I may need some help walking out of here." You both laugh and Josh reenters the room, gathering your clothes for you. "Did you get some good audio?" You ask it innocently but even thinking about putting any of what happened in this room into a song makes your stomach churn with something akin to excitement.

"I'd say so." Jake murmurs into your neck, kissing below your ear.

Josh hands you your little bundle of clothes and Jake steps away from you after placing one final kiss to your cheek. Once redressed you all decide to call it a day and head back. The car ride is quiet this time but the tension is gone, now replaced with a shared tiredness between the three of you.

When the car pulls into the driveway you become greatly aware of your state, you can barely walk and you have lovebites all over your neck. "I think we should have a talk with Sam."

Thank you so much for this request! I had a lot of fun with it! Do we want a part 2???

If you want to be tagged in upcoming posts you can join my taglist!

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moe-broey · 2 years

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An In-Depth Look Into Kyza's History and Character

First and foremost, I want to make it abundantly clear that I love and support my trans sisters very much. This post is not intended to "debunk" or invalidate the take that Kyza is a transwoman, but to give context as to why Intsys may have chosen to give Kyza they/them pronouns, beyond it being a cop-out or an easy middle ground (a take that I was completely willing to believe and agree with!). But something in the back of my mind was nagging at me, so I decided to revisit Kyza's character in light of the New Year's banner! I will be using they/them pronouns for Kyza as well, for reasons I hope you will understand if you decide to hear me out.

So Who is Kyza, Anyway?

I mean, I'm sure you're already aware, but to give a proper background! Kyza is a character from Radiant Dawn who is an officer in service of the beast tribe, and is the direct subordinate to Ranulf. They have a clear romantic interest in Ranulf, and often competes with their subordinate officer, Lyre, for Ranulf's affection. Despite the rivalry and chain of command, all three of them are good friends.

A Rundown of Gender and Gendered Language

As for Kyza's gender identity, it's been complicated and the subject of much speculation. In the English version of Radiant Dawn, Kyza is simply referred to with he/him pronouns. In Japanese however, there are a variety of different personal pronouns that people can use to refer to themselves that translate to "I/me", as well as "you". Each one correlates to specifc traits of the person speaking, such as age, social status and gender. There are also distinct speech patterns in the Japanese language that can also indicate a person's gender -- onnarashii (translates to "ladylike") being associated with feminity, and otokorashii (translates to "manly") being associated with masculinity. I say, "can indicate" a person's gender, because when it comes to speech patterns there's room for gender non-confomity as well (such as a woman who doesn't speak with onnarashii patterns).

Also, as a side -- it's very necessary for me to disclose that I don't speak Japanese and am only going off of what I've found online and general vague knowledge. If I've gotten anything wrong/get things wrong as I go on, please feel free to correct me! However, this information is important for context.

Returning to Kyza! Kyza has a unique way of speaking in Japanese that got lost in translation. When around authority figures or people they aren't familiar with, they speak very formally and professionally, with a masculine tone. However, when with Ranulf, Lyre, and other friends, Kyza will opt to speak with a feminine tone and uses the self-pronoun "Atashi", which is generally percieved as strictly feminine, or is used by cis gay men. While all of this can absolutely feel like the representation of a closeted transwoman, it's not exactly that cut and dry. As a brief warning, I'm going to discuss homophobia and homophobic stereotypes in the next section.

Intent I: Transgender, Gay, or "Other"?

The thing about Kyza is that it's difficult to determine if they were meant to be a transwoman who loves men, or a homophobic stereotype against cis gay men specifically. Especially at the time of Radiant Dawn's release in 2007, it was very ambiguous. I do really want to be careful not to paint Japan and Japanese culture with a broad brush, especially because my understanding of Japanese culture is very surface level at best. But it is worth noting that in a few Asian countries, Japan included, it's actually more socially acceptable to be transgender and straight than it is to be cisgender and gay. It's not exactly considered "good" to be transgender, but it is still marginally more acceptable than being gay, from what I understand. This homophobia directed towards cis gay men in particular has led to quite a few depictions of gay men in Japanese media being portrayed as more feminine and as drag queens, but often not in a tasteful way.

Again, I want to call attention to how "Atashi" is used by both women and by cis gay men, and how the usage by gay men ties into the drag queen stereotype. A loose American parallel to this is how drag queens will typically use she/her pronouns while in drag, even if they identify as cis men or as nonbinary.

An additional interesting bit of trivia is how, in other languages of Radiant Dawn that are highly gendered, such as French and German, gendered language is actually completely avoided for Kyza. Yet again, due to language differences and translations, Kyza's gender and subsequently their sexuality is unclear and could really go any which way.

Intent II: Queer People, Stereotypes, and the Characterization of Queerness in Fiction

Okay! Here's where I get a little personal, and go into detail about what really compelled me to write this in the first place.

I have a great love for the Tellius games in particular, as it's not hard to extrapolate that there are many queer characters in them even without it being explicitly stated. Especially for the time PoR/RD were released (2005/2007), while a lot of it is implication, the variety and complexity of Tellius' queer characters is handled exceptionally well. For the purposes of this post, I will be focusing on the male characters, and of course on Kyza, the subject of the post.

It's very easy to look at Kyza so far, with all of this information, and feel like they're an offensive gay stereotype or just poorly thought out as a queer character. Which is something that especially bothers me, because in a game where it is all but officially confirmed that the protagonist is a gay man (Ike), and where there is a variety of men who love men (Soren, Reyson, Tibarn, Ranulf, to name the big ones), and how all of these men are written with complexity and care and aren't exclusively femme presenting, it feels very odd and out of place for an offensive portrayl of a gay "man" (in quotes to acknowledge Kyza isn't a man, but was portrayed as one at least in the English release) to exist.

(I also apologize for lumping Kyza with the men, but for the purposes of my point I don't have much choice -- but again, I want to emphasize and reiterate that at least NOW it's very clear that Kyza is not a man and I do not see them as one.)

Well, here's my personal take. I want to believe that Kyza was written with good intentions, that the writers wanted Kyza to stand out from the other men to add even more variety to their cast of queer characters. And here's the thing about real-life queer people, especially if they're out and open about their queerness -- sometimes, they DO fit into stereotypes, sometimes even the offensive ones. I can speak from experience here, as an open and "obviously queer" transman who's gender non-conforming. With the way that I like to dress and present myself, I'm certain I fit some stereotype of "Trans People I Do Not Respect (because they do not confrom to masculinity like I do as another transman OR they do not conform to my idea of what a man and especially transmen should at least TRY to be from a cis person's perspective)". Additionally, going beyond my own experiences, there are gay men who fit the stereotypes of being drag queens, of being flamboyant and bold, of being vain and caring immensely about their appearance! Due to the stereotypes, these men read as "obviously queer" much like I do.

And I think it's incredibly important to acknowledge that fitting into any stupid superficial stereotype is not a fault or failure on your part. Sometimes, queer people are just Like That, as their geniune selves! The queer experience is a vast one, and there are countless ways for someone to express themselves that tend to be deeply personal and important to that person.

When I think back to Kyza with this perspective, and think about all the portrayls of queer men in Tellius and how well they were handled, it makes Kyza feel more like an intentional and geniune attempt at trying to portray a character who's "obviously queer" to reflect that all kinds of queer people exist. In a way, it almost feels like it's nuanced! To portray a range of characters that are all so different and so distinct, but all share that same queer love for men. However... maybe it's because Kyza is a minor character, maybe it's period typical 2000s homophobia, maybe it's just something lost in translation that only native Japanese speakers/those who are fluent and very familiar with the language would understand. But instead of reading as an "obviously queer" character, unfortunately Kyza's queer identity ended up ambiguous at best, and considered a homophobic stereotype at worst.

A New Dawn: What's on the Horizon?

Once again, I want to make it crystal clear that I have nothing but love, support, and solidarity for transwomen. I've seen some people take issue over Intsys using they/them pronouns for Kyza, when there are a great number of reasons to understandably extrapolate that Kyza was meant to be a transwoman. People who interpreted Kyza as such were absolutely right to point out that, if a binary trans person uses only one set of gendered pronouns (in this case, she/her), it's still misgendering to refer to that person with gender neutral pronouns. Trying to de-gender a trans person can be just as hurtful and dehumanizing as constantly ramming it into their heads that you only see them as their sex assigned at birth. I do not want to downplay or dismiss the pain this can cause, and I'm sure as hell not going to be an apologist for Intsys (who, as a company, somehow manages to constantly teeter precariously back and forth between good queer representation and queer representation that ranges from subtly queerphobic to blatantly so).

But can we acknowledge that Kyza being officially referred to with they/them pronouns is kind of a huge deal? Not only is it a fair way to modernize the character given their history, but it is so much better than Intsys just saying "Fuck it, stick to the status quo", and using he/him for Kyza. It's also just, kind of incredible to see a character like Kyza use they/them pronouns. For Kiran, it's clear that they have neutral pronouns to be an easy self-insert for the audience. Their pronouns serve a purpose, a function. Not for themselves as a character, but for the player. On top of that, Kiran's design is meant to be androgynous for that same reason, and likely to properly "match" their pronouns too. Meanwhile, Kyza is fairly masculine presenting, doesn't really conform to any standards of androgyny, and they are their own character with their own unique relationship to their gender, presentation, and sexuality (regardless of how well they were initially written).

As for the future, I'm very curious to see if Kyza will end up paving the way for more canon trans inclusivity as well! Whether that be more characters who are nonbinary, or characters that are explicitly meant to be either transfemme or transmasc! I do tend to default to being wary and sceptical, I will admit. Can't be too disappointed if you never dare to hope! Still, it's hard not to feel some excitement at the thought of it. And if all else fails, you always have the power to headcanon a character however the hell you want!

One Last Request, Before I Go

I ask that this post be taken as purely informative and not as an invitation for discourse. I tire easily, I get overwhelmed easily. I absolutely don't mind discussions and feedback (in fact, I'd love to hear it!), and I also understand it comes with the territory making a post like this! I just ask that it's kept respectful, and to keep in mind that my main goal is to provide context in a comprehensive way (and to share my personal thoughts as well)!

#fire emblem heroes #feh #fire emblem radiant dawn #fe kyza #AUGH......#besties i hope this is okay. that maybe it clears some things up.#i want to also make it clear that i don't mean to talk over transwomen or portray japan in a nasty light.#i'm just going off the info i gathered and i really did feel like it was important for me to do this #IF ONLY for my own piece of mind. like i said this shit has been nagging at me LMFAO #i remember when i was watching my sister's playthrough of rd and i became so obsessed with kyza #like transgender fe character real?!?! for real?!?!????! for real????!?!?!?!?!?!!#i didn't fully understand the complexity of kyza's quirks atm. but it stuck with me #and like a sleeper agent ny kyza and everyone's reactions to them fucking snapped something in me #and it drove me INSANE LMFAOOOOOO #milo autistic moments i guess HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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