#(there i go with my infinite positivity when it comes to them; i can't help it. them and what they have is too special for tlsp3

[skylarbee]

After seeing a post where it said that Miles no longer posted photos of him and Alex, I thought the same thing, they never appear together again, whether on Miles' IG or elsewhere, even if they are at the same party etc... Just a little hasty hug on stage and that's it. It seems like there is a fortress that has been built around Alex, (or that he himself built) As if they should no longer be seen together. This is why I am more and more skeptical about the possibility of a TLSP3, as if they had gone "too far" (and I'm not just talking about "milex") that saddens me, in done there I need to be reassured haha! Sorry for this rambling but I really appreciate your point of view and your analyzes ;)

first of all, thank you anon for your kind words, i really appreciate them!! <3 and don't worry about ramblings as you must know that it's all i do when answering an ask and it's what i'm gonna do now 😂

yeah, it is is saddening (and sometimes concerning) that we basically never see them together nowadays, but i think that if they were actually trying their hardest to hide then we wouldn't have spotted them at the scott walker tribute concert for example, or at that party or whatever where miles is in the background (where they both knew they could be photographed together at any time), or miles wouldn't have said many times that alex goes over to his place or they have dinner and such, or alex wouldn't have asked miles to support them in ireland (and the fact that these were the last shows... of course he wanted to end it with a bang -this could be interpreted in more ways than one-), etc. i thought that the hug in london was very very sweet and so intimate, and even the one in ireland in the dark was cute (the lack of sntm was weird), not to mention alex singing to and pointing at miles so unashamedly (c'mon, he must've known people would figure it out but didn't care). zackery's wedding was a weird one as they were seated apart from each other, but there is no way that they didn't talk to each other - there just isn't any evidence.

i know there are people who say that this is done deliberately by alex's pr team and because they saw the effects of the eycte tour and don't want people to start going crazy over them and ignore louise in the meantime and get the rumours starting about his sexuality... i'm not sure whether to believe this or not. it seems a bit too far-fetched, but who knows 🤷‍♀️ i wouldn't be too surprised it was at least a little true.

speaking of evidence, we know how hard louise tries to show off and exploits her boyfriend and how silly it all looks in the end... to me, miles not posting about alex just means that what they have is reserved for them and them only. the pictures miles has in his phone with/of alex are just theirs, their memories are just theirs, whenever they hang out and the moments they share are just theirs - and this is so important. love, in whatever form, shouldn't be used as a tool to make others jealous or to post in order to gain likes or get people talking - it should be something more private, more precious, something to share between the two of you that is yours only - this should be enough for happiness. maybe after eycte and the fans' reactions they decided to keep their relationship and their private life a little more private. besides, it was always the girlfriends that posted alex a lot and not miles, and i'm not sure he wasn't too big of a fan of that, given... well, everything we know about him, and this interview from 2016:

Like Chung, Bagley has been known to post a lot of pictures of herself looking impossibly attractive on Instagram. There she is posing with her dog, posing naked in the bath … but never, as far as I can tell, posing with Turner. Is that because he’d rather not be there? “I don’t recall submitting that request, but I’m not sorry about it if I’m not on there.”

i think that miles is just simply respecting what he knows about alex and his dislike of social media, and he knows that posting photos with alex would only result in getting more likes than usual and people saying that he's profiting off of his fame. alex and their relationship means more to him than a few likes and reposts.

#and as the post was getting embarassingly long - don't worry too much about tlsp3. let's have more faith in our boys and their love; #i think it's all gonna work out in the end for them #(there i go with my infinite positivity when it comes to them; i can't help it. them and what they have is too special for tlsp3 #not to happen) #who cares if we have to wait 10 more years? the time will come again some day #alex turner #miles kane #milex #tlsp #the last shadow puppets #tlsp3 #anon

[jeongharine]

a sea of tangerines

⚝ mingyu x reader

⚝ angst, romance, established couple, smut

⚝ notes: i really can't get out of my mind that postcard so i had to use it in the story to get it out of my system. i think it has become one of my favourite written letters by an anonymous on the web.

anyways, happy early holidays to you reading. hope this period treats you well x

christmas eve, in a metropolis somewhere in the world.

"we used to live here together. i’m walking down the streets with a bag of tangerines in this city that we liked to call home. this is the only address that i could think of. happy holidays"

x

it was a hectic busy evening of december. the subway was full and mingyu really just wanted to rest. to lay on his comfy sofa and laze for the last days before the christmas crazyness. but he was stuck in a stupid metallic transport that had the resemblance of an infinite tunnel, with what seemed like the rest of the whole city.

something poked his tired left foot. then another, and another one. tangerines. a dozens of them. a wave of tangerines coming up at his feet.

he raised his head, and that’s when he spotted a ripped shopping bag held with all its might by slender fingers.

that’s when you spotted strong hands coming at you with your tangerines, a whispered sorry coming out of your mouth.

“it’s absurd really, a sea of tangerines coming up at my feet as if i had been the seashore. i thought i had hallucinations or something,”

that made you smile. “if only the supermarket shopping bags were not so shitty and-” “it was only a bag of tangerines rolling down the subway, though.”

right. it was only that.

“where you stopping by the way? maybe you do need a hand now,”

a puzzled look on your face. but then a smile. “right, me and my unwieldy tangerines need some help,”

that made him smile, though it was only a bag of tangerines rolling down the subway.

x

you left the natural tangerines onto the kitchen counter. the market with the fresh products wasn’t that far from your apartment and you waited for the rain to stop to go and do some grocery, wetting yourself nonetheless because the rain started again on your way back. 

busy streets had stopped their chant and the citylights brightly lit around when mingyu stopped by.

“hey,” he ruffled his black hair back with a smile, stepping inside.

“you made it home early,” the heavy door creaking a little while closing it. “it was a bit hectic but yeah,”

“you did well,” you complimented. you looked at him fondly, making sure he took in the praise. it was never easy for him, and you knew it well. “join me on the sofa after you showered?” pointing at his sweaty tshirt.

mingyu hummed, pleased. “got something in mind?” you chuckled.

“actually, i just would like to spend some cozy time with my boyfriend if you mind,” you answered. mingyu couldn’t hide his disappointment, looking sullen like he’d wish for another answer. “i was kidding gyu, if you want to keep your girlfriend occupied in some other way it’s fine as well.”

it was one in the morning, the lamp dimly lit the room against the bingling lights of the street outside. mingyu shut the tv before slouching on the cushions next to you. he curled behind you, the smell of fabric softener and vanilla shampoo all around you. 

he sighed deeply, nose buried in the crook of his loved one. the suspire beard in itself all the tiredness and weariness of the long day. “how long can you stay this time?”

“about ten days more or less,” you replied. after college you made it into the marketing world, and managed to get a good position job for a firm in the city. it was a source of proudness for you, for your parents and mingyu. but everything always comes with a burden. and travelling for work wasn’t that simple anymore.

distance was never easy, constantly keeping that in mind and making time to never skip anniversaries and holidays. you settled for that, and knew it would be challenging but this would have done for now.

“tired?”

“mmh,” he mumbled, leaving a trail of kisses on your neck. “it was very busy tonight in the restaurant. lots of dishes to prepare.” he placed his hand on your belly, slowly following the rising of your breaths. he took them in. mingyu would always be ready to take everything that’s bothering you. 

there was a scratch on your watch, mingyu dropped it on the pavement last time you went away. he gently pulled you in, making you turn to face him.

his rough hand met your cheek, thumb stroking it gently to draw your mouth closer to his. his tongue eager, tiredness was not so present anymore. and so he kissed you like all the stars in the sky above would have exploded. 

“i like this couch though,” mingyu whispered, lips damp from the kiss. “what do you mean?”

“that your boyfriend has something else in mind,” mingyu answered.

“bed’s waiting then.” you intertwined your fingers with his, leaving a peck on his nose.

the city lights danced slowly outside the window, a siren breaking the silence of the night when you went to the bedroom. everyone was asleep in the nearby apartments and you moved around like new lovers, when taking the risk of getting caught. but the night was gentle to you, keeping your secrecy like an oath.

being extra cautious when you brought mingyu in, the latter trying not to knock you over the drawer of your room when stripping you. you tumbled onto the white sheets, legs forever intertwined. 

“i want to marry you.” mingyu whispered, kissing you gently on the shoulder. “i found the perfect house for us, not too far from the subway for the airport and the restaurant.” 

the bed squeaked, and you smiled. you wanted that, as badly as mingyu wanted it. but it was not in your nature to rush things. mingyu looked at you fondly, the moon was brighter and he could see your soul.

“that sounds nice gyu, maybe we can look at it with purpose in a few months.” 

“yeah? y/n, you’re not fooling with me right?”

“no, i just need a few months to adjust some things at work then we can start to really think about it,” you replied, heart beating like it never had before. “come here and kiss me,” you caressed his black locks of hair. but mingyu didn’t. 

he started to trail kisses lower down your neck, breasts, stomach and slipped your undies down kissing your pubic bone and you were not prepared for it. “gyu–”

“i missed you, let me treat you as you deserve..”

mingyu got you wrapped around his finger with his sweet mouth and hand intertwined with yours. “oh,” you sighed when he suckled a little bit harder. “i don’t think i can last.”

“should i stop then?” mingyu asked, after pulling off with a pop.

“n–no, keep going baby,” you whined. the heat of the moment and your slick making you sticky, you were desperately thrusting up your hips in his face, which wasn’t easy but you tried nonetheless. mingyu responded to you with low groans, leaving your pussy unkissed like a punishment. 

“you’re so annoying.” “stop whining like a baby,” he kissed you, galaxies exploding far away but the chanting of the subway trains covered it into the night. “you taste like tangerines,” 

“ate them before,” “you’re the sweetest.” mingyu meant it literally, but you smiled like it was said just to please you. your head tilted into the soft pillow when his lips met yours with another kiss, tongue muffling all the noises.

he grabbed your back, twisting you over with the tug of his hand down his thigh. you had your leg splayed over mingyu’s waist, heavy breaths, you studied him with a perplexed cast. “want to make love to me like this?” 

“honey, for i do really love giving you a good pound into the bed i don’t have it in me right now.” you laughed, sliding off mingyu’s underwear fast. “you still have that oil there?” 

“yep,” you emphasized on the p while mingyu reached to your bedside table. his slicked up dick teased along your pussy’s lips just to hear you sigh before he slid in. a moan buried in his sweaty neck. “f-fuck .”

mingyu growled lowly. hands on your ass so the grinding was smoother on the push down. your eyes rolling back stupidly. “feels so good baby, fuck.” 

the praise made you quiver. heavy panting, desperate breathing, slippery fair skin on tan skin, tits and pecs knocking against each other because you were that close. 

mingyu rutted up another inch, your gut twisted. “y-yeah , i like that–” mingyu gasped loudly, inhaling fast. “if you keep talking i might pound into you.”

“guess you’re not tired anymore then.” “i always work hard for you.” you did not fight him when he laid you flat on the mattress under himself. you choked on a breath when mingyu couldn’t keep it to himself from fucking you that hard, especially when you were lain pliant like this. all exposed just for him and no-one else. fuck if it will never stop to drive him stupid.

the bed creaked under mingyu’s ministrations, his hips snapped rapidly and the sheets were bunched up tight in your fists. you couldn’t say you were not into it either. 

you didn’t push away mingyu’s fingers when he placed it on your delicate nub and started to circle on it. “you have to come first,” and it was not hard for him to accomplish that, you gave it to him shortly after. burning hot along your nerves, you felt the sweet unraveling you never could control, and mingyu felt it as well when your hot spurts spilled onto his abdomen, grabbing onto his bulky arms as if they were your personal lifeline.

you breathed in satisfaction, and mingyu was desperate for his high then, pumping fast for an orgasm he waited all day for and spilling over your stomach. he pumped slowly then, tiredness hitting him. “dirty.”

he chuckled when you locked him in an embrace. “i want to marry you now, tonight even.” 

you bubbled with a laugh. “i know, but give me at least three months.”

“one month.”

“no baby, i’m serious.” he replied, impatience slowly started building its home in the back of his mind. “do you want to go out and take a stroll around the city tomorrow?”

“yes, i would love to. i worked so hard today.” “i know.”

mingyu sighed. “but i will always work harder for you.” he promised kissing your nose, christmas lights sparkling the night sky hiding his promise.

you hummed into his damp hair. you would only take one month. mingyu had worked hard enough.

#mingyu x reader #kim mingyu x reader #seventeen x reader #mingyu smut #seventeen fic #mingyu fic #svt fic #mingyu x y/n #seventeen smut #mingyu scenarios #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines

[semisolidmind]

How does the Modern Reincarnation AU work in the Twice as Bad AU? Especially with MK and everything? I know it would probably be completely unlikely that Peaches would get the opportunity to die with her two monkey hubbies always around her, but what if her dying happened on the journey? Like her death was something that happened while the monkey demons were restrained and couldn't do anything about it, causing them to wait the couple hundred years until she pops up again?

(Also, I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am for your creativity and art! You're awesome. Hope you have a great day! 💙)

oh man oh boy (also thank you skye, you're making my day :))

(so both monkeys have wrist and ankle cuffs in this au, and the cuffs work like a less harmful version of the circlets. anytime reader says a certain command, they throw the demon wearing them to the ground. i imagine that the moment reader dies, the cuffs fall off.)

it's utterly silent when they hit the ground.

the boys are distraught. they're inconsolable. theyre angry. whatever demon caused reader's death will be torn apart peice by peice, tortured until death. and then...

...nothing. the monkey demons shut down beyond an occasional terse word. they're still technically bound to the journey by the circlets and the bodhisattva's command, and so they continue on. they only speak to their companions when necessary. macaque spends most of his time in the shadows, and wukong walks behind the group. they take out their sadness and rage on the myriad demons that get in their way. the journey concludes with wukong and macaque denying their enlightenment and going home to flower fruit mountain.

their conquests become especially brutal for the next couple hundred years.

–––

centuries later, mk comes into the world. wukong finds him wandering the mountain, and adopts him as his own. macaque is an uncle figure to the boy, helping in his training and teaching a different worldview. mk grows up knowing very little about humans beyond what his monkey family tells him. regardless, he's curious and wants to know more.

the two elder monkey demons are jaded, and their resentment for the celestial realm and humanity has only grown. though, they'll both slip into wistfulnesss occasionally, telling mk about reader and what she was like. he heard plenty of stories about her growing up, and he always finds himself wishing he could have met her. it's the only time mk will hear his caretakers speak positively about a human.

when mk asks to go into the city, wukong refuses. he doesn't want his son around any mortals, and were it not for his "infinite mercy," that wretched city would be dust by now. it's only when macaque agrees to go with mk that wukong relents. macaque, who's somewhat more knowledgeable about modern humans than his brother, tells mk what he knows about how the mortal world works. mk doesn't get the chance to make his friends until later in this au, when he's allowed to make short solo excursions into the city to buy groceries.

he's taking too long on a run when it happens.

mk has encountered mei, and thinking the dragon heir was trying to start a fight (given the monkey demons' history with dragons), mk battles her. while the two have their brawl that eventually ends in tentative friendship, macaque waits at a rendezvous point.

when mk doesn't show after twenty minutes, macaque lets out a long-suffering sigh and sets out across the roof tops and alleyways to search for him. the kid, for all his strengths, has never been good at time management. after a while, macaque is able to track him to a little noodle shop in the downtown area.

the dark-furred simian watches from a nearby rooftop as mk and...a disguised dragon? girl? go inside the shop. macaque melds into the shadows, following them in through the half-shuttered doorway. the shop isn't anything to write home about; simple decor, simple noodles, a suspiciously familiar pig demon manning the kitchen, a woman managing the register—

macaque stops cold.

it only takes a second for macaque to get a read on the woman's soul. and upon closer inspection, she looks familiar too.

heartbreakingly familiar. same hair, same eyes... same smile, aimed at mk as she welcomes him. this woman—she's their reader, reincarnated. she has to be. mk makes a joke, something about monkeying around, and the girl laughs; the same joyful sound he remembers from all those centuries ago. it's the same. she's the same.

a shadowy tear makes its way down his incorporeal face. she's here. alive.

he has to tell wukong.

#bad end wukong #twice as bad au

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC: Your January Forecast 🎇❄🦢

Sup y'all, I'm back for the very last PAC I'm gonna write for 2023. By the end of the weekend, we will have shifted to a whole new year, with a new moon close in tow. I'm gonna be honest, this has been a rough year for me, but not without its bright spots. Like the birth of this blog, for one! I'm already planning the 1 Year Special.

The plan is only to expand from here to see what more there is to do! There was a lot I wanted to do this year but didn't get around to doing because of life, so I have a lot lined up for January.

Thank you for your support this past year in helping my blog grow! The circle is small, but each like and reblog makes a difference, especially to newcomers like me.

Please choose your swan ornament below to find out about how your January will look for the new year. Instead of Tarot today, I'll be using my Black Salt Lenormand deck and Astro Dice to get details along with oracles for advice.

Pile 1 - Black Swan Pile 2 - White Swan Pile 3 - Gold Swan

Pile 1 - Black Swan

Death, Sun; 49. Sun A♦, Cross 6♣, Crossroads Q♦; Uranus, 11th House, Aquarius

Hi, pile 1! Hope you're feeling alive and well for 2024. I kinda called this the "zombie pile" while drawing cause I'm getting this sluggish energy dragging along. Mumbling, creeping, hair disheveled. Goodness, this past year had you wiped out, didn't it? If you're feeling pressured for a resolution, I wouldn't, because for you I think simply sloughing off the old year like snake skin is your main priority for January. I'm hearing Usher's lyrics: "I feel like a zombie come back to life." Maybe you could treat this month like an extended New Year's Eve party. You can't force yourself to be excited for it, but you can slowly build up to it.

There is an emphasis on positive thinking with this pile. You have two Suns from different decks. Doing what brings you simple joy will be healing for you this month. Focusing on little joys can help you shift perspective. Being in the present is very important right now, and you're being asked not to think too much about last year as it will only drain you of further energy. You can't draw healing to yourself if you're spending all your Magic Points on looking backwards for answers. It it feels difficult to be positive, think outside the box at how you can move away from past thinking, like making a vision board for what you most desire to experience this year.

One of the real impressive things about your reading are the dice. You have Uranus, its natural house 11, and its sign Aquarius. Emphasis on CHANGE, much? You know how in movies, where the main character is falling into darkness and has relinquished all hope of being saved, and just as it fades to black someone swoops in to help them while casually laughing off "hah, yeah, I just happened to be in the neighborhood when I saw you falling into an infinite chasm, y'know?"

The word "Deus Ex Machina" is also popping up, or "god out of machine". It's a Latin term referring to an ancient Greek theater technique where a crane would lower an actor dressed as a deity onto the stage during the final act of a comedy, delivering sudden divine intervention and saving the day for the heroes. In other words, there is massive and very unexpected change for you, one that's gonna pull you out of the sluggish stupor of 2023. This is why resolutions aren't important for you now; whatever 2024 will be for you, it's coming in lightning hot and will do that for you.

And I think this change, however large and surprising, will be ultimately wonderful for you. There is so much sunlight emerging from this fog, new life will be breathed in for you by divine planning. It's going to help you work through some of the damage that last year left behind. It will also help you pivot to your next chapter in life. It may feel weird going into a new year with very little expectations, not knowing where you're going to end up next, but it'll be worth it. When the door swings open for you, it will BURST open, so stay on the bright side and focus on regenerating your health for now.

May your new year be shockingly bright, pile 1!

Pile 2 - White Swan

Strength, 25. Sapphire; Garden 8♠, Anchor 9♠, Person A♥; Gemini, 12th House, Pluto

Hello, pile 2! This month will be a quiet one for you, in a good way. This will be a time of retreat for you. If you found yourself being rather social at the end of 2023, expect the new year to start off with a whimper. I see you going into a hermit mode and disengaging from regular activities, especially involving other people. I get the sense that this pile is the type to want to overextend and please everyone around them. If you need a resolution suggestion from me, it's to put the brakes on now before you careen over the edge. January is putting a halt to this behavior.

Yes, you are strong. No, you do not always need to be strong for everybody else. It will wear you thin to even try, and you may end up resentful over it. It's not worth the struggle. I'm not asking you to snap at anyone who comes too close, but consider not adding more of other peoples' errands to your schedule. Consider saying, "actually, I can't go today," without feeling the need to explain why. You have a right to your own personal space away from distractions now.

This pile could belong to a group of people or community that's close to you, which could be going through a lot of hell or has been in the past year. They may have asked a lot from you with few other options. It's made you have to stand up and advocate, at the cost of your own issues being put on the back burner. It is not selfish to walk away for a while and take care of yourself, doubly so if the group in question deals with a lot of arguing and gossip. If it feels bad, trust your gut and keep your distance for now. Don't try to solve big arguments while Mercury is retrograding.

I know how Pluto in the 12th house is, as it's prominent in my chart. Imagine walking downstairs to get to your basement, only for the stairs to never end until you find yourself floating in a weird little wonderland. Somewhere, in that surreal underground mindscape, is a deeply entrenched karmic pattern that may elude you at first. Some shadow work may be required here to dig through the trenches for unpolished gems. If a pesky pattern is repeating in your life, it's time to withdraw and connect to your dreams and subconscious for clues. This pattern may have something to do with this group.

You're actually going to get more progress done by meditating and seeking out nature rather than getting too involved with these issues. The time will come when things can be handled with a clearer mindset. But your higher self is pulling you inward to help ground you through this, to remind you that you are your own amazing being even when you're separate from these people. You have the strength to stand on your own, otherwise there wouldn't be so many folks seeking you out in need. Sapphire wants you to marry your heart with your mind. It's a stone of wisdom guided by compassionate understanding and care. You spin your wheels overthinking an issue, when instead coming back to your heartspace will provide the key.

Take it easy this winter, pile 2, may your dreams give clarity and hope for 2024!

Pile 3 - Gold Swan

Protection, 15. Opal; Bouquet Q♠, Person A♥, Crossroads Q♦; 4th House, Capricorn, Mercury

What's going on, pile 3? Looks like somebody wants to enter hibernation mode, lol. I don't blame you one bit. As the full moon in Cancer has passed and the season changes, there's a strong desire to nestle into the home. Your house will be like your castle for you to improve during this month. You may feel up to redecorating or rearranging furniture to make it feel more cozy or season appropriate as you settle in. Or you may simply desire to clear out old things to decide what to keep.

You may want to do a spiritual cleansing of the house to ring in the New Year, too. Try infusing magic herbs like lemon verbena into your cleaning products, or toss cinnamon outside the front door while ringing a bell to invite prosperity in. A simple incense stick with a very fresh, mild scent like lavender can also do the trick. Does your family have a special trick or recipe they use? Whatever herb and scent combination brings out that "New Year New Me" feeling is best!

I heard loud and clearly, "YOU'RE PROTECTED!" for whomever needs to hear it most. Things might feel shaky and ungrounded at the moment. I wanna wrap a big blanket around y'all. You're being totally protected right now by your guides, so please don't let the uncertainties of 2024 leave your head dizzied. Yes, there's a lot of plans to be drawn out and a lot more work to be done, and you may not know where you're heading next, but perhaps there's a reason we like to begin the year at such a slow quiet time, after all the festivities have passed. It's not sound to start off in a rush.

You're being heavily affected by Sun in Capricorn doubled with the current Mercury retrograde, regardless of your chart placements. This is absolutely not a time for rash decision making, even if it feels you're not being your most productive. Our modern society doesn't like it when workers take a break or listen to their body's needs in any way. It will always have its excuses for its ruthless standards. After a while, though, you have to learn to shrug those expectations off and do what's right for you, or you'll risk burning out before the new year has even started.

Some of you might be thinking of even doing the Dry January trend as part of your resolution. If it's a serious issue, I'd talk to your doctor about how to do it sustainably. If you're already stressed and at risk of burnout, more pressure is not going to help. But a sober month could prove beneficial for you overall. This is not a command for you to have a Dry January if you're not interested; this message is for those who already plan on doing so. Try to take it one day at a time, keep your head free of self criticism, and don't guilt yourself over "cheat days". I will be doing one as well, so please reach out if you need a supporting voice.

Wishing you all the best to come this year pile 3, may you succeed in your resolutions!

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

Cards Used: Black Salt Lenormand, Prism Oracle, Crystal Healing Cards, Astro Dice.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

#tarotblr #tarot community #tarot #general reading #pac #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick an image #psychic readings #pick a number #pick a card reading #pick a pile reading #lenormand #divination #oracle #oracle cards #oracle deck #oracle reading #astro dice #astro tarot #pick a photo #tarot reading #free tarot #free tarot readings #tarot blog #tarot cards #tarot deck #lenormand cards #vitaminsee

[copperbadge]

Endeavor OTC game for ADHD

antidoteforreality

is it really different from a standard FPS game? I’m curious about it!

Hope it's okay that I popped this into its own post, I found I had a lot to say :D

Context from the earlier post: EndeavorOTC is a paid app based on EndeavorRX, which is a prescription game for kids with ADHD. RX is FDA-approved; OTC is the version that hasn't gone through FDA approval, but it's a fork of the same code. It's fairly repetitive but that's because it's a training module shaped like a game, not a game that happens to do training.

It's less of an FPS and more of an infinite runner, like Sonic Dash or Temple Run. You're in a little ship that flies along a waterway, and you're supposed to hit "energy fields" which help you speed up to catch a critter you're chasing. You can't control your speed; you tilt your device to swerve left or right to hit the energy fields, but that's it. This is the "Steering" skill.

Your other, simultaneous task is to shoot critters that jump out of the water at you, called "targeting". It's a misnomer since you don't tap ON the creatures, you just tap anywhere on the right side of the screen and it shoots them for you, no aim required. These critters come in three colors, and at the start of every mission they tell you only ONE color to shoot. If you shoot the wrong color or miss an energy field while steering, you slow down very slightly. The goal is to speed up so fast that you catch the critter you're chasing, which is, to be fair, quite challenging.

You aren't ever penalized, really; the critter sometimes gets away, but you get points for trying. You don't have "lives", but you are time-limited -- once you've played for 25 minutes (a "dose"), the game locks down for the rest of the day. Something I REALLY like is that once you've paid the subscription price there's nothing else to buy: no ads to watch for bonuses, no microtransactions, no loot crates. You can earn coin to buy different outfits for your avatar, but that's it, and you can't buy coin, you just get a set amount per day for completing the dose. Every 15 missions or so, your ability to steer-target is evaluated and your score adjusted, which lets you know how you're progressing in terms of treatment, rather than skill at the game. You're supposed to play at least five days a week for six weeks as an initial treatment.

The reason I was willing to give it a shot was that the "targeting" aspect is based on the Go/No-Go Task, which is a legit tool they use in ADHD testing, and the aspect of the test I bombed the hardest when I was evaluated. Ongoing Go/No-Go task training has been shown in some research to help emotional regulation, although it's cognitive and not mindfulness. Overall the game is meant to improve focus but it was the Go/No-Go aspect that I found most compelling as a reason to try.

It's not cheap; you can get a 7-day trial but only if you pre-emptively subscribe, and if you don't cancel the subscription at the end of the 7 days you are charged $130, which I admit is a sneaky move to pull on a population not known for remembering to cancel subscriptions. The first thing I did after signing up was go to google play and cancel the subscription -- I still got to keep the trial -- but honestly when my trial is up I'll probably subscribe, it's a fun little game and I'm willing to risk the money to see if it helps (but I'm also in a position to spend $130 "just to see"). You can also do month-to-month for $25 but obviously the $130 yearly sub is much cheaper in the long run.

I've seen a wide variety of reactions to it, from delight to frustration, although a lot of the frustration seems to be from people who are more accustomed to intense gaming and are treating it like a video game and not a training tool. I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes.

#sam has adhd #adhd #antidoteforreality #not yet fired from therapy #endeavor otc

[killersfool]

fluff w bobby! idk smth like hurt/comfort. maybe she’s had a bad date and goes to bobby and they like confess , idrk but i think that’d be cute

Comfort | ROBERT KEATING

thank you for the request !!

PAIRING: robert keating x f!reader

WORDS: 3.4k

SUMMARY: reader goes on a terrible date. she calls her old work friend, rob, who comforts her and opens up about some hidden feelings.

GENRE: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, fluff

WARNINGS: references to eating disorder

The worst date of my life occured on a Tuesday afternoon, starting at exactly 8.43pm. For starters, the guy was late, 13 minutes late on the dot. Never trust your Tinder matches. I guess I should've figured out what a mess the whole thing would be. I'd sat down at a window seat in Nando's. Sun glowed gently across the table. It gave me a positive outlook on the whole thing. But by the end of the evening, as I left that dreaded restaurant with a soggy bag of chips in my right hand, I was holding back tears. Rain was pouring. My umbrella had broken. Dark clouds had appeared in the sky. Pathetic fallacy. I could hardly even breathe as I sat down in the train. 

My first port of call — for some odd reason — was my old work friend. Rob and I had worked together in a restaurant just down my street. We'd been through hell together. My worst memory was when I dropped about ten glasses across the kitchen floor, accidentally smashing them to pieces. The manager heard the crash ring out through the entire restaurant. He ran through the kitchen doors. They swung open as if he was a wild beast prepared to eat me whole. Bones and all. This was the first time I'd made a major mistake as a kitchen porter. I was trying to prepare myself for the incessant shouting to soon ensue. But before I could even build a wall around me, a hand grabbed mine and pulled me out of the kitchen. I wasn't sure who it was grabbing my pinky finger or why they were helping me escape but I didn't complain, I just let them lead me through the main restaurant where guests were staring at us with patient eyes. They really believed we were running around just to ask for their order.

The long mane of curly hair made me realise who was dragging me alone. Robert Keating. The waiter who's sarcasm was off the charts. Each time he came into the kitchen, he'd be going on a rant about how stupid the job was and how much he hated the manager. Most of the chefs agreed. But they'd make sure to put on cheery faces whenever Mr Jacob came in to check everything was alright. Robert had worn Doc Martens to the beach when they had a dinner party to celebrate 10 years of the restaurant. I had made sure to come along with my best dress on and trainers. Robert had appeared with some Doc Marten boots, red shorts and Joy Division shirt, assuring everyone that his boots were 'made for walking on sandy terrain'. Then he complained about them for the entire time. He didn't make any sense.

Once we'd escaped through the front door of 'Jacob's Pizza', we continued running down the street until we got to the park. I knew by that moment I'd sure be fired. No one was running after us. No one really gave two shits about us. We weren't a necessity to the work force. We were just there. Looming.

Rob had sat down on one of the kid's swings (the tiny ones that you can't get into once you grow out of them). He allowed his infinitely long legs to dangle off the edge—not putting them through the holes because he'd surely get stuck which would've been a very Rob thing to do. The park was empty. It was a Tuesday evening. Stars lined the sky. Rob patted the swing next to him, asking me through his motions to join him. I complied. Awkwardly slotted myself in a mildly comfortable position onto the swing. I grabbed onto the rusty chains which had been there for dozens of years. Paint ripped away by years of use, years of bad weather.

"Mr Jacob didn't deserve us. We were too good for him." Sixteen-year-old Rob always thought quite highly of himself—not to the point of being a show off—but just enough to make you shake your head. The use of the collective pronoun was different for him. A change to usual. He was including me in his declaration of greatness. His blue eyes were shining and he'd thrown his apron to the ground. Black button-up shirt and black trousers. His smile was a lighthouse, illuminating that stretch of grass before us.

"I fucked up. Sorry, Rob." I'd looked away from him. Wrung my fingers together, picked at my nails. We'd been working there for months. Of course I had to be the one to make a mistake.

"Hey, don't worry. There's loads of jobs around here. I'm sure you'll find somewhere else," he assured. He reached out a hand between the two swings, let it linger on my shoulder. I followed suit with him. Chucked my apron into the nearest bin. One of those bins that never get emptied. Overflowing with fizzy drinks and sweet packets.

I allowed my head to drop down onto his hand. His fingers took a short hike through my hair. 

He then started to laugh. "How the fuck did you drop all those glasses? I swear you purposely tipped the tray over."

"What if I did?" I smirked. It had been accident. Or maybe my irritation at the place just wanted to come out. 

Rob was pressing his shoes to the ground, trying to make the swing fly upwards. He'd smiled to himself at my words. "Then I thank you for your service. I'd been trying to get out of there for a while. My band are getting way more gigs and the job was getting in the way of everything."

"Your band? You've never told me about that." I was intrigued. I had no idea he played an instrument. I knew that he loved The Strokes as he'd always put them on the kitchen playlist. I couldn't imagine him on a stage. Performing. Making music. It was the last thing I'd expected he'd do.

"Yeah. We've called it Inhaler. An ode to Eli's asthma—"

"Hewson? He's in it? Fuck no." I'd never been the biggest fan of Elijah. He'd dated my friend and left her heartbroken. I'd never personally spoken to guy but from a distance, I was the slightest bit terrified of him. 

"I had no choice! He forced me into it."

"So he's singing, right? Then you're playing what?"

"Bass."

"Really? That's..."

"So sexy. I know."

That's when I shook my head, smiling. His face was serious but as my teeth appeared, so did his. We were both laughing at nothing, giddy because of the air cooling our cheeks. Just his presence, him being next to me, made me feel so much warmer.

Now my eyes are teary, my throat is raw. I'm sat in the corner of a train compartment. Toddlers are screaming at their parents, music is blasting in my ears and the fields turn to blurs of green as I lean back into my seat. 

The guy was a prick. A self-centered waste of time who thought the whole world revolved around him and only him. I was asking all the questions. He didn't want to know anything about me. His mouth would never stop moving. I hardly got a single word into any conversation. He showed off about his job, his money, the university he went to and he joked about how much I ate. He'd stared at my stomach when I stood up, as if he was trying to measure my waist with his eyes. That's when I just walked out of the place, taking my remaining chips with me. I don't know why I even agreed to go. He wasn't even nice on the app.

Phone ringing. Hand over my stomach. I had gained weight. I'd started eating more than I had months ago. Food was a comfort, food was a memory-store, food was something to keep me going. There were all kinds of flavours that would bring me back to figments of my past. Eating was a way to reminisce and a way to make new memories. It had irked me—that look in his eye, the raise of a brow. I was skinnier on my Tinder profile. But back then I wasn't happy. Constantly focused on my calorie intake, on how much exercise I had done in a week. 

"Hello?" Rob picks up. His words play through my headphones. His voice hasn't changed since I last saw him. It's still low and raspy.

I sniffle, finding it hard to even get my words out. I can see in the train window that my skin is blotchy and red. My bottom lip is quivering. I'm trying to hold everything in. I'm like a bomb on the verge of explosion. I don't like crying. I especially don't like crying on a train where eyes are glancing over in my direction.

"You alright?" He whispers. It's 10pm and I'm wondering what he's been doing. Has he been at a show? I've been trying to keep a track of where they've been going on their tour. Right now he could be absolutely anywhere. The last I heard he was in Scotland.

"What are you up to?" I try to divert the conversation to him. I just want to hear him talk. Anything he tells me, I'll listen.

"I'm back home in Dublin. Eating mince pies. I know it's early but my Ma is too obsessed with Christmas for her own good. It's what, 2nd of November? And she's already got her tree up. Tinsel and everything. What's up with you? You sound different. Has Eli been giving you shit again? That gobshite needs his head knocked in."

He's in Dublin. I'm in Dublin. 

"I miss your Ma." I remember the one time we walked home from work together. His Ma had given me a lung constricting hug. She'd thought I was Rob's girlfriend. Told me that he non-stop talked about me. I didn't believe her. I still don't believe her. I could never see Rob having a crush on anyone, let alone me. "It's nothing to do with Eli. Although I agree, he is a little bitch. It's actually this shitty bloke I met on Tinder. He thought he was all that. Most boring guy I've met in my life."

"Instagram, please?"

"I don't trust you with anyone's Instagram."

"At least tell me his name. I want to make fun of him."

"Albert."

"What a name. Honestly, I'm thinking about getting my name legally changed to that. Albert. Wow. I'm impressed." 

"He told me his nickname was 'Alby'. I almost laughed." I smile to myself, wiping tears away. I hear Rob snort through the phone. 

"Found his Instagram. That was easy. He looks weird. Shit hairline."

"Rob!!! Keep away from his DM's please."

He went silent. He was most definitely already sending him stupid messages. I didn't really mind. The guys deserved shit after what he put me through. Two hours of nonsense. At least the food was good. Nando's is my favourite.

"Aren't you in Dublin? Do you want to come play some bird bingo? It's been a while since I saw you. We've got at least a years supply of mince pies."

I'm cheesing. Sucking in quick breaths as my tears stop falling. The train comes to a halt in the station. My head is leaning against the window, my mouth opens wide as I see a figure sat down on a bench. That familiar mop of hair, those shining eyes, an entire bass guitar case sat beside him. I'm gobsmacked.

The call ends before I can try to speak. Before long, my legs are moving and I'm shuffling through crowds, trying to find the exit. Maybe I was just imagining him. Maybe I just wanted him to be there. But then I'm outside the train, walking down the platform and two arms wrap around my stomach. 

"Hey," is all he says, straight into my ear.

He isn't usually this touchy. We used to go for coffee and he'd never hug me. We weren't that kind of friends. Now his arms are holding me flush against his chest and his hair is tickling my ear and I just want to close my eyes and blow the world away.

I turn around to face him. His hands are still on my waist, scrunching the material of my jumper. He has a cardigan on, his eyelashes are so long, he's watching me with worry etched upon his features. 

Then I break down. I can't deal with it anymore. I can't hold it in.

"Sweetheart..." He pulls me straight into his chest, hands cupping my head like it's going to split into two. I sob into his cardigan. My palms are against his shoulderblades and his head is on my shoulder. I can feel his nose smush into my skin and he mumbles quiet comforts into the air. "He doesn't deserve you. He's an idiot. Piece of shit." Words of comfort are usually just insults from Rob—but they still make me feel way better.

I don't know what I would've done without him. I keep imagining myself going home and crying into my pillow, no one there to tell me it'll be okay. I'm so glad he's here. I'm so glad he's holding me.

"Let's go home?" He pulls me away the slightest bit just to see my face. His thumb jumps just beneath my eye, wiping away the falling tears. He then gently kisses my nose. I'm shocked and confused. The warmth of his lips against my freezing nose is a welcome relief. I'm sure a sigh escaped my lips at the gesture. 

I'm not sure which home he means. His or mine. But wherever we're going, I'll follow him. I want to be somewhere warm. I want to eat some nice, warm food and forget that guy ever even existed. Rob still has an arm around me as we walk through the station. He gives me a packet of tissues and buys me a hot chocolate from Starbucks. Even whilst carrying his entire bass along on his other shoulder, he makes sure to keep an arm around my back, fingers curled over my waist. 

"How come you've got your bass?" I taste the hot chocolate. It burns my tongue. My spare hand points along the rather massive case which is definitely heavy.

"I was practicing with the band. I was about to head home when you called me so I ran to the station instead."

"So you lied about the mince pies?"

"Oh no. That is very true. You'll see when we get back. I just lied about where I was—you know, for the surprise element."

His then. We are going to his. I've never been inside his house before. I've only walked down his street and glanced through the windows. He'd always have the best Halloween decorations. The Keating house was always a go to in order to get the best sweets. His mum would come out dressed in the most flamboyant costume possible. Rob would always be standing beside her, forced forwards with a bag of sweets in his hands. 

Up past his parents' cars. Still some Halloween stickers on the windowsill and pumpkins next to the welcome mat. He twists his key in the door. It clicks and opens up to a corridor. He was right about the Christmas decorations. Snow globes on a bookshelf,  wreath on the door, Christmas tree lights are colourful through the window. The whole living room is dark green.

The house is silent. The dishwasher is wildly spinning and wind is wailing. Other than that it is extremely quiet. And warm. So very warm. I can actually feel my fingers now. 

Rob takes my hand once I've pulled off my shoes. He pulls me along into the living room, we crash down onto the sofa.

"Tell me everything," he says. He stretches out his legs and places his feet on the coffee table. He has fluffy socks that have the face of a red robin. "All the nitty gritty. Get it all out of your system."

"I don't even know where to start." I pull at the skin of my cheek, look up at the ceiling. "We went to Nando's. It was my idea. I got there bang on time but had to wait for ages for him to get there. He was late—"

"First red flag."

"Right? I should've just left. Anyway, he came in. Blamed his lateness on traffic when he literally lived in the town I went to. Like wouldn't you just walk? He ordered hardly any food then got all weird when I ordered my usual. I had a pudding too. He was just so judgy. He told me about his degree in Maths and how he was doing a phD. He didn't seem to impressed about my Law degree. He barely even let me talk. Then the last thing, the cherry on top, was when he stared at my belly when I stood up as if I had some kind of disease. I felt ill. I've never been so insecure in my life."

Rob's mouth was open wide, jaw dropped. He kept his eyes on mine. Listening. It was so nice to have someone just hear what I was saying for once. 

"You're the prettiest, most intelligent girl— I'm going to have a right word with that nob— I'm going to have a right fucking word with him. He thinks he can just..." His burst of emotions makes him stand up and pace around the room. I smile at his compliments but frown when he starts to get angry.

"It's fine. I'm here now. I don't have to think about him again."

Rob sits down again. Then his head falls onto my stomach. He closes his eyes. His arm reaches over for the coffee table. He grabs two mince pies. One for me, one for him. Bending his arm and extending it, he passes one up to me. I gratefully take it. I peel off the metal then take a bite. It’s delicious. Rob is smiling up at me. There’s a little pastry on his chin. I wipe it away with my thumb. My finger seems to have a mind of its own. It starts to trace lines along his face. Beauty spot to beauty spot. Like his skin is paper and I’m doing a join the dot. My thumb lands back on his lips and I trace along the two pink shapes. A little chapped, warm and soft. He opens his eyes again. 

Then I’m hit by this weird feeling. Like I’m reaching a high. Or I’m slamming the accelerator. Or I’m at a claw machine and finally win a prize. That hum of euphoria, singing through your ears. He’s twisting his head on my belly like it’s a pillow. My thumb is still at the corner of his mouth. My heart is beating in my ears. There’s something clicking. A realisation.

I’m in love with Rob. I’ve always been in love with him.

“Look, I know this is a really bad time to say this,” Rob speaks. His words a gruff. I listen intently. 

“What’s up?” I brush his hair out of his face. Curls between my fingers.  

“You’ll think I’m stupid.”

“I won’t.”

“You will.”

Rob closes his eyes again. He breathes out. He looks for my other hand and places it on his chest, his hand resting just above it. I can feel his heart pounding like crazy. I never knew a human heart could move so quickly. I never knew that here, in this dimly lit room, after my heart has been torn into two separate pieces I’d be feeling Rob’s heart under my fingertips.

“Geez, Rob. Am I that scary?” I stroke his hair again, his fingers now grazing my knuckles.

“Yeah, terrifying.” 

“Just tell me. What is it?”

“I love you.”

The whole room falls apart. My whole body feels like it’s been ripped into two then sewn back together. His eyes close again but he peeks a little with his left one just to gauge my reaction. I’ve stopped moving. My brain isn’t working. 

“Christ. Really?” I whisper.

“Yes. I think of you every time I buy pizza, every time it’s Halloween, every time I’m drinking from a glass. Everywhere I go, you’re there. Whenever we went for coffee, I’d feel empty when you left. It just—even when you told me about this date. I was jealous at first. I want to take you on dates and fall in love with you even more.”

He sits up. He grabs onto both of my cheeks.

“I love you too,” I say before pulling him into a kiss.

#robert keating #bobby skeetz #inhaler band #inhaler fanfiction #inhaler dublin #elijah hewson #inhaler x reader #inhaler imagines #robert keating fanfiction #bobby skeetz fanfiction #inhaler oneshot #inhaler imagine #inhaler oneshots #fanfiction

[faller-fears]

Introduction

((OOC Information Under The Cut))

Hello,

I am Jonathan Sims, The Archivist. I, along with my partner Martin, fell into the world of Pokemon in March. We have been staying with Hop, Professor Sonia's apprentice, since then. Martin has been learning to care for Pokemon by helping Hop's mother, and I have taken a position as Professor Sonia's assistant.

When we are not busy with work, we engage in another kind of work. We take people's Statements. "Statements of what," you may ask. Statements of supernatural, or otherwise esoteric, experiences in their lives. I must make it clear that not every statement is true. However, the Statements which are true are very important indeed. It is our duty to search them out and document them.

If you have experienced a frightening occurrence having to do with the following themes, I encourage you to submit a Statement.

-Scopophobia, agoraphobia, the fear of being watched, the fear of your secrets being known, the fear of having to keep secrets, the fear that you will never find answers

-The fear of being manipulated, the fear of having no control in your life, the fear of being controlled by your addictions, the fear of controlling others

-The fear of being eaten, the fear that you are only meat and nothing more, the fear that you are not good enough, the fear that you are useless, feeling as though you must keep changing yourself in order to become perfect

-The fear of being hunted, the feeling that you must give chase, that you must pursue and kill something or someone

-The fear of senseless violence, of being murdered, tortured, or abused

-The fear of space, the sea, the sky, or heights. The fear that you are just one person in a sea of billions, that you are so infinitely small that you can't possibly matter

-The fear that you are alone, that you will die alone, that no one will understand you, isolation

-The fear of losing things that you care about, the fear of being burned alive, the fear of fire, the fear of losing out

-The fear of being buried alive, claustrophobia, the fear of drowning

-The fear of being loved, the fear of toxic love, abusive love, and the like. The fear of insects, trypophobia, fear of decay and fungus.

-The fear of the dark, of what lurks in the dark, the fear what is hidden

-The fear of the unknown and unfamiliar, the fear of strangers, agoraphobia, the fear of the uncanny, the fear of dolls, puppets, and machines, the fear of things that aren't quite right

-The fear of the end, the fear of things coming to an end, the fear of death, the fear of hospitals, cemeteries, and places associated with death, the fear of the undead

-The fear of insanity, the fear of the insane, the fear that you can't trust your own mind, the fear of lies and deception, the fear of being gaslit, the fear of going around and around and never getting anywhere

-The fear of extinction, the fear of nuclear fallout, the fear of pollution, of global warming, of any of the ways humanity might be bringing the world to an end, the fear that we will end ourselves slowly by destroying the world.

These are not rigid categories. As you may have noticed, many fears can be applied to several of these descriptions. If you have experienced a supernatural or otherwise unexplainable event that falls under one or more of these groups, please submit a Statement.

Hey there! I'm Turtle. I'm a 24 year old woman who loves The Magnus Archives and Pokemon. This blog is based on a fanfiction that I'm writing. You can read it here.

#rotomblr #pokemon irl #the magnus archives #tma #tma rp #the magnus archives rp #pokemon rp

[dionysianfreak]

hi!! i can't get this off my mind - love hear your thoughts!

I don't understand and still need to answer for myself: I generally see us modern polytheists pray for and attribute good outcomes to gods' interference/support (eg. good garden yield, long-needed rain, creative or shadow work breakthroughs) and refuse to attribute gods' interference when "bad things" happen (eg. dead plants, natural disasters) because it would be unscientific to do so.

Obviously "gods" is no longer adequate scientific reasoning for the weather forecast. Godly things can happen, but most of the time the reasons are mundane.

So how can we pray for rain from Zeus, get rain, and attribute this to his generosity, when you can't "blame" Poseidon for an earthquake or tsunami that strikes your home?

hello love. I've touched on this a few times on my pages over time. the post that sticks out the most to me is this one. this answer is also going to be extremely leaning on personal opinion/upg so keep that in mind.

i personally do attribute negative things to the Theoi, that has always been a very central idea for my practice. i definitely wouldn't deem this "unscientific", I would argue that it's unscientific to only attribute positive qualities.

my reasoning is that our concepts of good/bad, positive/negative, helpful/damaging, etc tend to be human-centric. we define things as good based on how they effect humans, not how they effect the earth or any other species. one could argue that, in some aspect, earthquakes are positive because they are a product of the earth's movement and constant change. the opposite is also true, the rains that help our crops grow could be very catastrophic if I was a butterfly without shelter.

so, my answer is people will focus on good qualities and reject the bad because they push their mortal, human morals onto the natural workings of the earth. our planet was not made specifically for us, it's a miracle that our species even evolved and gained the ability to conceptualize religion. the Theoi would have carried on had we not evolved, but we did, and that's the blessing of our existence.

it can be very eye-opening to begin praising the Gods for the bad things in life. it helps you realize that existence, especially with how vast and diverse it is, is not all about humanity. killing that part of your ego allows you to get infinitely closer to the Theoi because you are no longer rejecting parts of Them that don't benefit you. the true blessing is that we evolved to the point that we are able to form the connections and commune with the energetic side in the first place, not the gifts or benefits that may come with it.

especially because, in more cases than not, the bad is what clears the way for the good. your partner leaves you and you're shattered, but it allows you to follow your passion without someone pinning you down. you're kicked out of a job you worked hard at, but you avoid a disaster that occurs in that building. so then, what constitutes something being good and something being bad ?

you generally see people pray for good things because most people aren't inclined to share the worst parts of their lives. this is the internet, you're only seeing a very small part of someone's practice—the parts the choose to show you. behind the scenes, we all struggle, so remember that what you see here is but a small slice of our real lives and praxis. for the ancient people, the bad things certainly outweighed the good. in modern times we live very privileged lives compared to them, especially with modern medicine and widespread access to diverse foods and cultures. it makes sense that they would only wish to invoke the good qualities, the bad ones were already way too prevalent.

this answer is also swayed by my belief that the mundane is the most Godly. I believe the Theoi encompass all that They rule, and are present in every being and object under Their wing. it's an extremely animist-leaning perspective. I hope this can help you come to your own conclusions :)

#ask #talkingtocandles-follows #helpol #hellenic polytheism #greek gods #theoi #praxis #upg #personal #paganism #polytheism

[candiid-caniine]

I'm in a position where I can't really get any sex toys, specifically for insertion and that's like 90% of what I need and I need something and idk what to do I'm going insane. Do you know anyone who makes like, under cover toys or know of any at least temporary solution Oh Bug with your infinite horny knowledge I pray thee, I need to be full and there's nothing to be full of

ahahaha this made me giggle! i can't promise to have infinite horny knowledge, but i will try my best to help. it's a travesty whenever a sweetheart out there in the world has to be empty <3

note: i'm working off the assumption you're talking about a vagina; if not, i apologize, but i don't think i'd feel comfortable recommending anal toy substitutes anyway due to the higher safety risk!

first, let's talk about materials if your best bet is household items:

top of the list in terms of safety is glass. i'd also say steel, but household objects made of steel aren't necessarily made of body-safe steel/surgical steel, so glass is really my top pick. it's non-porous, can be infinitely sanitized and re-used, and has some fun things you can do with temperature play too ;)

second favorite is gonna be plastic. it (and any other material) is 100% safe for insertion WITH a barrier like a condom, but if you can't get those for similar reasons you can't get a sex toy, use plastic sparingly; it is porous, so it can trap bacteria, which...i'll be honest here. i've never heard of this happening to people, even when they use the same hard plastic toy over and over, if they wash it a lot in between. thousands of people across the world have used a hairbrush handle, one of those 10-color pens (lol ask me how i know), and other items available to a kid in their teenage years. often repeatedly. my theory: yes, plastic can trap bacteria...but it's mostly gonna be bacteria from your body, and unless you're switching holes, i think the risk of that bacteria being non-benign is low; additionally, if you're washing it immediately afterwards and storing it in a safe place, the risk of it coming into contact with external bacteria is also low. regardless, it's safest to think of plastic as a temporary solution, and to replace it fairly often. good news is it tends to be cheap!

third best bet: a vegetable in a condom. could never do this bc i hate wasting food. could also never do this bc i was in a similar situation to you at the time, and in my case i couldn't get condoms, and no way was i putting pesticides up my vag!

i know it may seem weird that i'm putting silicone last. it should be first. food-grade silicone is probably insertion-safe, but the reason it's last on the list is that it's hard to find food-grade silicone items in the right shape lol.

now for some ideas of common items that might work/be easily concealable or explainable:

those big bubble wands (plastic). empty them out first lmao. make sure the bottom of the tube, where it was likely cut from the assembly line, doesn't have any weird rough edges. bonus points that you can put a bullet vibe in it if you have one, and if it's too light to fuck satisfyingly, try putting something heavier inside :)

the world of guasha and acupressure massage implements is wide and varied lol. from amazon, here is a steel one that's plain and simple. if you like odd shapes, here's whatever this is.

one of the pitfalls of household insertables is the shape; they're often ramrod-straight, which a vagina isn't, and rigid, so they don't bend to you. if you're confident in your pelvic floor strength, i recommend these guys! you may not exactly be able to fuck yourself with them, but they're an excellent way to feel full :)

check out the handle on this dude. is this anything? hell if i know lmao.

i've found pervertables on amazon before by just searching "[material] tools" or "[material] [shape]" or just in general typing in the material, then clicking around in random sections of Amazon and seeing what pops up! i've also found them by just wandering around stores and looking at objects in the context of what they'd feel like inside me, or being used to hit me, etc.

now for some actual, purpose-made toys that are discreet from Etsy:

carrot lmao. it's expensive, and i think primarily meant for anal insertion, but there you have it.

here's a simple but effective idea. why sacrifice good, plain function when you could just hide it well instead?

toy disguised as a paperweight with a DP option :)

i guess you could reasonably claim that this one was a gag gift or something. maybe get one of those little silicone hand puppets shaped like a real dino head and put it on there when you're not using it.

tis the fucking season!

dear lord. this is how i used to hide my weed lol. listen, i'm begging you, at least once it would be so funny to pretend this dog is a representation of me and i'm holding ur dick for you and looking at u with them sad puppy eyes okay?

hear me out, stay in this space with me; consider just hiding your dildo really effectively. here / are / some / really neat stash boxes i found on etsy. afaik the teddy ones are easy to diy; i made mine by cutting a hole in the bum of a big old stuffed pig i had and packing in my entire weed jar and then refilling it lol.

i hope this helped, or at least gave you some ideas! thank you for asking! <33

#asks #advice #toy talk #health and kink

[shyhaya]

well~ because I was watching tristamp and I am completely enamored with Vash, I wanted to post a little one-shot, because why not? It's just my current obsession ♡

(also, I started reading the manga and I'm positively dying, so there's that! :3)

So, here's a Vash the Stampede x fem! Reader

umm.. I guess there's kinda a few spoilers from ep 2 and 1 if you haven't seen them. Also, the reader —based on a new oc because I said so— is plant, just a tad bit different. No warnings except fora little bit of making out nearing the end; the rest is fluff. Enjoy! ^^

Reunited

──────•❥❥❥•──────

Thanking the old man who helped her the past few weeks, she took her traveling bag and started making her way out of town. Covering her head from the sun with the hood of the sweater, the girl walked through the infinite dunes of No Man's Land, just stopping a few times to eat something and drink water before continuing. She had a hunch of where he would be this time. She just hoped it was correct.

For the last two weeks, (Y/N) had been staying in a small town she had came across after she was separated from her partner when someone recognized him. Again. The life of a wanted outlaw was certainly difficult. Still, she didn't complain; as long as she can be with him, she won't mind dodging bullets and running from town to town. Some days, the female actually consider this funny. A century and a half ago, she couldn't have imagined she would be in this situation. But here she is, and she doesn't want to be anywhere else.

Sighing, (Y/N) hurried her pace a little. It would take no more than two days to get there, and if her hunch was right, then she will meet him again very soon. The (blonde, brunette, etc..) remembered one time she joked about having a radar when it comes to him, because she always seems to know where he is, or will be. She chuckled. Maybe she did have a radar, or some sort of sixth sense. Maybe it's because of their bond. It would be very cheesy, but that's the only thing that can explain it.

When night fell, (Y/N) fortunately had found an abandoned place to sleep in. Contrary to the days there, the nights were always very cold. She pouted while covering herself with the only blanket she has. She missed her personal heater. He is much warmer and comfy to sleep with. A small smile slipped past her lips as she closed her eyes. (Y/N) could almost feel it; she was not the only one missing someone.

"Just a bit more.." muttered the girl before falling asleep.

──────•❥❥❥•──────

The next morning she woke up early to keep going. And with early, it means before the sun rose. She didn't encounter anyone during her walk, except a few sand worms. Thankfully, she wasn't swallowed by one.

It was perhaps midday when she finally saw the silhouette of Jeneora Rock in the distance. Smiling gratefully, (Y/N) let out a sigh and started jogging. She couldn't contain the excitement. Yes, there was the possibility that he was not there, but something told her he was, and she trusted that feeling. When she saw the town more clearly, her jogging became a full run. But then, an explosion sounded just after a particularly annoying and piercing shout. Her smile turned into a frown.

"Don't tell me.. already?!" The (blonde, brunette, etc..) whisper shouted. Pushing her legs to move faster, she could see the town's people and a weird.. human-like thing? carrying a plant. "Wait, why is it carrying the plant?!" (Y/N) watched how the creature almost fell off the cliff after passing the plant to another.. wait.. a normal human can't hold a plant on their own...

Just then, the creature was being pulled up by the people and.. She let out a chuckle when she saw him. Damn, he really can't help but want to help everyone, can he? She hurried up the steps and streets to get where all the people were. Where he was. When she arrived, finally, (Y/N) saw everyone looking forward, where the creature and an old man where being held at gunpoint by a woman she recognized as Rosa. Damn, pregnant and fighting? Okay. She lowered the gun though, after a few seconds, and by her side the (blue, brown, green..) eyed girl saw a very familiar blonde.

He was showing that gentle smile that seems to never disappear from his lips. His eyes showing concern but also relief. (Y/N) will always consider him to be stunning, no matter the situation. So, incapable of tolerating the distance between them anymore, she made her way through the people to get to him, almost sprinting.

"Vash!"

At hearing his name, he looked forward, and upon seeing her, various emotions flashed through his blue eyes. Shock, surprise, realization and finally, joy. Because she was already so close, he opened his arms, full on smiling.

"Mayfly!"

(Y/N) crashed into his arms, wrapping hers around his waist, burying her face in his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat. He embraced her tight, giving a kiss to the top of her head, cradling her cheek with his right hand. She leaned into his touch, looking into his beautiful orbs, before going closer to peck his beauty mark. (Y/N) watched delighted how his face turned red, still smiling as he planted chaste kisses on her forehead, cheeks and nose. She pouted, pleading with her (light, dark..) eyes. Vash complied shyly, finally giving her a peck on the lips.

"I missed you, Sugar" She said, closing her eyes, putting her forehead to his. He intertwined their hands, and when the girl opened her eyes, he was looking at her with so much affection her cheeks burned.

"And I you, (Y/N). More than you know" the female melted hearing his words, how her name sounded when he said it. They hugged one more time before parting. Only then, when their little bubble exploded, did she notice all the eyes on them. Well, I guess we do attract attention.

Rosa was the first one to greet her, although the (brunette, blonde, etc..) could see something grim in her expression. She briefly looked at Vash, and he signaled he would tell her later.

"My (Y/N)! It's been so long since I saw you, hon!" She giggled at her words, giving her a hug and congratulating her for her pregnancy. Then, she noticed other two people that were looking at her.

(Y/N) turned completely and saw a girl, shorter than herself. She had cute blue eyes and dark blue hair. I like her outfit. She looked really curious. Beside her was an older man, his apparence unkept and with sunken eyes. Probably drinks too much. The girl approached her, and (Y/N) smiled. She looked at her side and saw Vash, who looked at the blue eyed girl, and she joined the pieces.

"Ummm.. who is she, Vash?" The bluenette questioned, tilting her head. The man beside her responded for the blonde.

"Didn't you see them, rookie? She's his girlfriend" (Y/N) chuckled by her expression, watching her puff her rosy cheeks at the man.

"Yeah, I saw that Senpai! But I thought asking to confirm was appropriate!"

Turning to her partner, the (brunette, blonde, etc..) nudged him with her elbow playfully "Won't you introduce me to your new friends, Sugar?~" He rolled his eyes but nodded, smiling. Attracting the attention of the girl, he put his hands on her shoulders.

"Guys, she's (Y/N). My girlfriend" he looked at her "Mayfly, they're the ones who helped me escape from the police" (Y/N) stifled a laugh.

"They must be very good people to help the 'Humanoid Typhoon', yeah?"

The blue haired girl took her outstretched hand "Nice to meet you, my name's Meryl Stryfe. I'm a journalist. We came across Vash in the desert. The drunk man you see beside me is my Senpai."

(Y/N) grinned at her "Nice to meet ya too, Meryl! Thanks for helping my Sunshine. Not many people would do it. You two have my gratitude" she bowed her head.

"O- oh no! You don't have to- to bow your head! It's fine!" She exclaimed, moving her hands around "B- but, if it's not a problem.. H- How come you weren't with Vash when we found him?"

The blonde and the (brunette, blonde, etc..) locked eyes. She nodded, and he took her hand in his "Well, what if we talk in the bar?" he suggested, planting a brief kiss to the back of her hand "I'm sure we have a lot to catch up to, Mayfly"

──────•❥❥❥•──────

"I thought you would end up here. That's all" she muttered, her left hand supporting her cheek while she laid on her left side; her right hand being held carefully by the blonde's left. Once every few seconds, he would bring her hand to his lips and kiss it, sometimes it would be on the wrist too. Vash listened to the details of her story of after they went separate ways two weeks ago. He had tried to find (Y/N), but in the end just kept moving forward, trusting she would somehow find him.

She had narrated the story to Meryl and Roberto back in the bar, before leaving with Vash to properly catch up. It felt like years had passed since he's held her like this, since they've been so close.

"I missed being like this, you know" (Y/N) whispered, bringing her face close to his, observing his baby blue orbs without his glasses. He kissed her nose, making her laugh. She felt his prosthetic arm rest on her hip, then on her waist, holding her closer. The (brunette, blonde, etc..) laid completely on the bed now, with her right hand against his cheek.

"I missed this too. Time passes quickly for us, but without you two weeks are a lifetime, Mayfly.." a kiss followed his words, and she melted into it, cherishing the moment. When they parted, a shy smile was present on his lips, and she went closer to bump her nose with his "I'm sorry I couldn't find you sooner"

(Y/N) shook her head, hiding her face in the space between his neck and shoulder, inhaling his scent and leaving a butterfly kiss on his skin. His breath hitched and she knew his cheeks were bright red "It's no one's fault, Vash, do not worry. We're together now, that's all that matters. But please tell, how did you get caught up in the situation from earlier?"

Sighing, Vash explained everything that happened earlier in the day, softly touching her waist and hip as a way to calm her down while he described the events that occurred. He immediately sensed (Y/N)'s body tense up when he told her Rosa had wanted to give him to the police to have the money of the bounty placed on him, so that they could afford a new plant for the town.

"I.. I understand her motives. She's a mother, her family and friends live here. She doesn't want them to die or suffer" She tightened her grip on his shirt, taking a deep breath before letting out a sigh "And still.. I know you saved her and her son, more than once, you helped everyone here.. I know what they're going through but... I- I still can't help this.. this feeling. You deserve better, Vash"

She felt a delicate kiss on my forehead, followed by one on her nose "You always say that, (Y/N).. But it's okay, it really is. You know I'm used to it" he smiled at her.

"But I don't want you to be.." the (blue, brown, green..) eyed girl pouted, making him chuckle.

"What did I do to deserve you? You're too good to be real, Mayfly" giving a peck to his lips, she nuzzled his chest, her right arm wrapped around his waist, their legs a tangled mess on the mattress.

"I should be the one saying that, Love. You're like a dream. The best dream" Just as she sensed he wanted to complain, she rolled over until she was on top of him, his hands on her hips and hers on his shoulders "And you don't get to complain, Stampede" he pursed his lips at his girlfriend, and she kissed him, deeper this time.

"Fine, you win this time, Stardust." He said with a smile, and (Y/N) smirked at him, laying on his chest "But you have to admi-" she didn't let him finish, kissing him roughly this time, biting his bottom lip and sneaking her tongue in his mouth. He whined and she kept teasing for a few seconds more, parting from him as his right hand came to rest on her cheek.

"What did I say about complaining, Vash?"

Panting, the blue eyed male looked up at her "That's unfair.." she giggled.

"All is fair in war and love, baby"

Well, not my best one-shot, but eh...

I hope you liked it :3

#anime #trigun stampede #trigun x reader #vash #vash the stampede #hayami writes 🌺

[chamerionwrites]

Ultimately what gets under my skin is that I feel the burdens and expectations of like - Content Warnings Culture, as it currently exists? - fall really heavily on anyone seeking to confront/process/learn about complex or difficult subjects, in a way that is not merely unfair but that selects for a sort of socially mandated toxic positivity which frequently makes spaces deeply hostile to trauma survivors (theoretically, the people that content warnings are actually FOR).

Many people's intuitive response is going to be well yeah, obviously the burden falls more heavily on folks exploring darker subjects. Those are the subjects likely to trigger people. Which is a perfectly sensible and understandable point of view, but the first problem is that I'm not at all sure that it's true. "Dark" subjects are probably more likely to discomfort people, sure. I'm very skeptical that they are significantly more likely to TRIGGER people, because that simply isn't how trauma triggers work. So often they're idiosyncratic and innocuous.

Going with fandom as the example, since that's a space where content warnings are both very normalized and a very common subject of debate...I am 100% confident there are people out there who (eg) had a traumatic miscarriage and who find some varieties (maybe even all varieties!) of soft and fluffy kidfic extremely triggering. I'm 100% confident there are survivors of spiritual abuse that find certain kinds of religion/god talk (and I don't just mean oppressive institutional religion, I mean the DND cleric with a really fun relationship to their deity) extremely triggering. I am 100% confident there are people who have survived controlling abusive relationships that flinch from the kind of slightly overbearing caretaking behavior that lots of other people (judging by the prevalence of a certain sort of hurt/comfort fic) find really cathartic and comforting to read about. Those are just the first three examples straight off the top of my head. I suspect they're all reasonably common examples. And I know there's an almost infinite number of others.

When it's explained I think most people are willing to understand that Fluffy Kittens And Rainbows content can frequently be a trauma trigger too. I think most of them also immediately understand that it would be unreasonable to expect any author to anticipate and tag for every possible permutation of kidfic so that I (hypothetical-I) can avoid the specific handful that might ruin my day. If that's something I struggle with, then either I avoid that genre of fanfic entirely, or I read the story summary and evaluate how likely I am to end up in a bad place and exercise my best judgment. I bring a certain Dead Dove Do Not Eat sensibility to the table: this bag is clearly but not exhaustively labeled, I might enjoy a mourning dove but I'll be sad if I find a pigeon, and either I decide I'm willing to risk the latter option or I don't open it at all. This is the clear reasonable answer to an issue that's inherently going to look different from person to person!

But unfortunately many people are NOT willing to be this gracious when it comes to recognizing that authors exploring dark subjects cannot possibly be expected to warn for every single individual facet of the darkness, either. There's this unspoken (and I think in most cases unexamined and unintentional, tbf) double standard where if someone is triggered by a ~wholesome~ story that is assumed to be an unfortunate accident that couldn't and can't be helped, whereas if someone is triggered by a ~grimdark~ story that is assumed to be a failure or even malice on the part of the author.

And this double standard ticks me off, okay. First for the blatant unfairness. Second because where it inevitably, unfailingly ends is with people being punished for writing honestly about their own pain and anger and grief, like a perfect mirror of the way society already fails trauma survivors: lip service compassion so long as you don't make anyone uncomfortable. Making abuse and injustice taboo to talk about while remaining unwilling to confront how and why it actually happens.

And third, because imo the furor over walling off depictions of anything upsetting often calcifies into this climate of just...refusal to treat serious subjects seriously. Of valuing and incentivizing lightheartedness-to-the-point-of-whitewashing over artistic honesty. At the individual level I don't think there's anything wrong with people choosing not to explore darker subjects in their reading or writing. But when that gets encoded into the culture of a space, when people get punished for deviating from it, I think that's insidious.

And this is what insistence that there is some Objectively Correct way to tag things which will lead to 0% of people ever being triggered often feels like to me. Yes - if I write a story in which child death or bigotry or sexual violence or whatever is a central focus then I think it's courteous to label that, or else to slap a big old Here Be Dragons on the story in the form of a Choose Not To Warn tag. But if (eg) I am writing a story about war, signposting all along that it is About War, and I make a non-graphic allusion to any of the above, and people get mad if they aren't all meticulously tagged...sorry but this is like needing to be told not to eat a Tide pod. This is Dead Dove Do Not Eat in FULL effect. You picked up a story that was clearly labeled as a war story and expected to find anything other than war when you opened the bag. What's more, imho complaining about it is not merely absurd but actively offensive: if you're going into such story with the assumption that it will politely pull a veil over anything that might cause you discomfort so that you can engage with war only insofar as it entertains you, that is VERY much a you problem. Deal with it on your own time rather than disrespecting yourself, the author, art in general, and the entire topic of war. People are going to misunderstand me here, but this is not me saying suck it up snowflake. This is me saying that serious subjects deserve the respect of serious engagement, that it's perfectly understandable for someone to find those subjects upsetting, but that they need to apply the exact same strategies as someone who knows that a Fluffy Kittens Kidfic might upset them rather than expecting every serious story to apologize for its existence with 50+ tags that undoubtedly still won't capture every nuance, because if a story could be perfectly summarized there'd be no point reading beyond the summary in the first place.

This is getting way too long, but the TL;DR is that I do think tags and warnings are valuable and useful. I also think the way they're often conceptualized is misguided and even harmful. People need to recognize that they are a very blunt and imperfect tool that cannot replace personal judgment. People need to stop treating them as a way to avoid general discomfort as opposed to trauma triggers (the chance to avoid discomfort is a useful curb-cutter effect, but gearing them primarily toward the former actually makes them less effective for the latter). And people need to understand that there is always going to be a degree of subjectivity involved, that the longer and richer and more layered a story is the more subjective the tagging process is going to get, and therefore that insisting on Perfect Objectively Correct Tags is - unintentionally or not - incentivizing shorter, less thoughtful, more easily digestible stories that avoid dealing with complicated or painful subjects. And I hope that most people don't actually want that.

#on warnings #purity discourse #but this isn't just about purity wank this is also about people simplifying the issue down to 'just tag correctly' #often there IS no objectively correct and imo you're doing a well-intentioned disservice by claiming there is #fandom #my posts #*braces for impact*

[viviennelamb]

You know what simplifies life, eliminates worry and grants immediate freedom? Not planning to live a long life, but instead living in Divine Presence, doing the will of God with every decision you make. People who meticulously plan their lives until they're a 90-year-old retiree will spend their youth attempting to hide from Truth, becoming the sex-compliant egoic slave they speak against until their bodily deaths. On their deathbeds, they will be filled with regret wishing to re-live their lives so they can "be themselves" only to become fake, opinion-policing, pieces of shit repeatedly for eternity.

Those who fear "social suicide" are often the most repressed and depressed individuals, lacking creativity and possessing only irrelevant political opinions, resulting in yet another wasted life never knowing what love is. Far too many people believe they are strong, caring and compassionate yet they can't even stand by their own thoughts, let alone God, and then wonder why they feel so lonely. The truth is that their excessive fear prevents anyone, including themselves, from truly knowing who they are. If everybody was as nice, smart and socially-positive as they said they were, the world would reflect that.

Dicks get angry that God is (supposedly) silent or hates them when they're rightfully suffering, but they're the ones who are silent when others are suffering and even join in on inflicting pain! The perspective they have on God is a mirror of their state of consciousness. If you see God as callous, then that's who you are, but if you see God as Cute, then that's who you are. God is anything but silent, speaking karmic-love into existence 100% of the time. God's voice is heard throughout the Universe through everyone and everything including silence. Only those who listen to the sweet sound of OM through meditation are comforted because it is the only Truth that will pull you out of delusion and heal every mental and emotional deficiency caused by this dramatic illusion.

In my case, the worst part was not the bullies themselves, but the bystanders who claimed to be my friends, but chose to align with the seemingly powerful bullies. That was the point of no return for me, seeing that all social posturing was a myth and it was all about protecting the Ego. I will never be stupid enough to believe that somebody who chooses separation from Truth can truly be a friend. I will never sympathize with those who lost their so-called friends because they were not true to themselves and found out that liars only use other liars for mental masturbation. My lifelong ostracization, despite my best efforts to fit in, was Intelligently ordained and now I know what is undoubtedly true. That I'm not being negative, it is a fact that the Ego exists to re-direct me to my Beloved who restores my heart giving me Infinite Energy while everybody else is exhausted from being fake, worldly and unappreciative.

Surely, I love my enemies and friends accepting them for what they are, not spending a single second trying to change them as they help me remain with Reality endlessly!

Every experience I have had has been in pursuit of the Truth, which I have finally found. You know the sayings, "if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?" or "when everyone goes one way, go the other"? As expected, most people do not adhere to the principles of self-care (but self-abandonment) because they are ultimately mindless Ego-followers who will rightfully stay exactly where they belong: in this Y-Chromosomed Hell of their own making.

I'm the last person you should come to when it comes to sympathy for your friends leaving you for dead. They're supposed to do that. It's a fucking blessing they showed their true colors and you're one step closer to Divinity. If you want to go to therapy and "heal" just for the same events to happen to you again (and again and again and again...), then do that. If you want emotional resilience, you must get crushed, pummelled, thrashed by the mass destroyers of innocence, seeing that you will never meet an Ego that comes close to the perfection of God, coming to the realization that you are an indestructible and transcendental vassal of Pure Energy in the end. Only then you will know that there is nary a difference between an enemy and a friend - the only difference is an enemy will promote you more quickly than a friend would.

Now, dust off the filth of the past and listen to God.

#spirituality #truth #purity

[harwood-pmc-official]

SWOONED 😈

(@is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not)

The war was supposed to be over.

They signed a fucking treaty.

But that didn't matter much when Tomas was bleeding out in his arms, did it?

"Hey, stay with me, buddy. I need my wingman." Robert knew his voice wasn't steady. He didn't care. He was scared. Tomas couldn't die, it just couldn't happen.

"MEDIC!" he screamed above the chaos, knowing full well that no one was coming.

"Tailspin..." Tomas tried to speak, but his words trailed off into a wet wheeze. Robert shushed him, smoothing Tomas' hair out of his eyes.

"Shh. Save your strength. Help is on its way." They both knew that it wasn't true, that the medics had bigger problems right then.

By the terms of the treaty, the Capellan forces were supposed to be in full withdrawal from this world. The war was supposed to be over. And yet, in the middle of the night, they'd turned the airbase into hell on earth with every munition imaginable.

"Tailspi-" Robert cut him off, keeping one hand pressed to the bloodied rags pressed against the man's stomach.

"Headcase, buddy. I need you to save your strength for me, okay? I need you to live."

I can't let you die, he didn't say. I don't know what to do without you.

"Tails- no, Robert." Tomas said, drawing his attention immediately. "I'm not gonna make it. We both know it."

No, no, no, no.

"You're going to be just fin-" Tomas cut him off.

"JUST- just shut up and listen, okay?" He struggled the words out. "I need you to know, before I go-" this time, it was Robert's turn to interrupt.

"No. You're going to make it out of here. We're going to get you help, and you can tell me all of this lat-" He didn't even get to finish before Tomas erupted, using what little remained of his strength to smack Robert in the head, as he shouted:

"Goddamnit you pig-headed bastard, I'm trying to say I love you!"

The world seemed to stop, the chaos and the fire and the death slowing to an infinite instant.

At any other time, Robert might have been happy to hear those words. Would have welcomed them. Instead, he got to hear them as the man he loved died from a sucking gut wound.

"You don't have to say it back. I doubt you feel the same-" Robert was furious.

"Don't you dare!" He shouted, hands still gentle despite his anger. "Don't you dare drop that shit on me and die, you asshole!" Robert once again screamed for a medic, feeling his throat go dry and crack, until his voice was little more than a hoarse whisper.

Looking down at Tomas, he saw droplets of water running down the man's face. For a moment, he tried to find the source, until he realized he'd been crying. He let out a long, shaky breath.

"Goddamnit, Tomas," He said. "This wasn't how it was supposed to go." However, Tomas just smiled, sadly.

"No." He said, "I guess it wasn't. Will you hold me, until I go?" Without a second thought, Robert did it, carefully positioning him so that Tomas was in his lap, laying his head on Robert's shoulder, wrapping the man in his arms as he lay dying.

They stayed like that for a long time. Too long, until Tomas' breaths got more and more shallow, and Robert couldn't even feel the ghost of breath on his cheek.

"I love you too." He said to the body of his best friend. "I love you too."

#battletech #mechwarrior #ask game

[lily-orchard]

Could you please elaborate on that thing about people wanting to be miserable because that's a very chilling statement from you

Not that the people pitching a shit fit are going to read this, but...

There's a fallacy on the internet that you specifically can help your friends out of a trauma spiral. That you just need to "be there" for them and everything will magically fix itself. You can't. A lot of people have deep seated issues that can't be fixed with ten dollar words.

Some people are so blinkered that they can be surrounded on all sides by people who love them and build them up, and then there will be that one person who keeps talking shit about them and they will choose to listen to that person every single time. And you could certainly continue putting in more and more effort to try and pull them back, but at the end of the day what they really need is a doctor, and possibly medicine.

Continuing to burn yourself trying to help people in that position will do nothing but hurt yourself. Taking on someone else's problems like this, that YOU ARE NOT EQUIPPED TO FIX is a form of self-flagellation.

There is no shame in stepping back from that. From emotionally distancing yourself from that person's problems. And that's something I have gotten in the habit of doing. When it's clear that someone needs a doctor (or they're just a stubborn creature of habit in some cases) I just step back and go "kay."

Don't chase people. If someone is content to run away, isolate themselves, and avoid the people building them up, don't go after them. Don't chase them down. Don't try and be their therapist.

People used to come to me asking for "advice" with things like shitty parents. And more often than not I would give them a suggestion, they wouldn't do it, and then they would come back asking for more. And when I realized this, I realized they didn't actually want help, they just wanted to vent and trauma dump. So I put a stop to it.

I ended a friendship four years ago when it became clear the person involved was deliberately putting themselves in stressful situations in order to come back and trauma dump. And honestly, I don't need that shit in my life.

And YOU don't need that shit in your life. It's not good for you, and you can't help those people. They need real help from a qualified professional and you are not that. You don't need to have a martyr complex to be a good friend.

It harkens back to a time when people on this hellsite were all like "If you have suicidal thoughts, YOU CAN TALK TO MEEEEEEEEE" who didn't actually care but just wanted to feel like Superman for five minutes, and now that kind of bullshit is believed to be "being a good friend" when it really isn't. It's okay to prioritize yourself and your own health and wellbeing.

It's up to you how much patience and understanding you want to have for that bullshit. I used to have that attitude of having infinite patience with people, but a lot of people took advantage of that patience and now my patience is at an absolute zero. The moment it becomes clear you need a doctor is the moment I detach and stop providing any help other than giving you phone numbers for psychatrists.

Furthermore, if you are that person: You can only keep isolating yourself from your friendships in this weird ritual of denial and self-harm before those friends move on without you. You are treating your friends like shit when you do this. And indeed most of the "backlash" to this is from people who are that person and don't want to accept that their friends won't just sit around and wait for them.

And to the people calling me abusive for the original version of this post: Get therapy and stop obsessing over me.

[ddarker-dreams]

Hi,

I'm asking you this 'cause you are one of my fav writers on this app and I'm too embarrassed to come off anon.

I used to be confident in my writing a year ago. The words used to flow into my head freely as I write and not even once I felt like it was a chore to me. I didn't doubt or fuss over stuff I write until one day I got criticized very badly. I received a huge feedback on how much my writing sucked (literally a page).

Now, every time I sit to write stuff i love, i fall into the pit hole of self doubts and start to loathe the style of my writing.

I know it sounds pathetic that one bad criticism has changed my mindset. And, writing stuff is my only outlet....

Today, I run a small blog on this app and so far the response for the stuff i write is so positive yet I can't shake away this insecurity and it is starting to take a toll on me.

How do I overcome this? I would appreciate any tips on getting better at writing and finding a unique writing style. Please ignore this ask if it makes you uncomfy tho. Again, I'm so sorry if I troubled you.

hello anon!!

aa… i'm really sorry to hear that this happened to you, unsolicited criticism can already be discouraging, but that sounds infinitely worse ?? i don't think you sound pathetic, it's pretty natural for people to remember negative experiences over positive ones. it just sticks in the brain longer. i'm a pretty sensitive person myself so i can see where you're coming from. i think one of the things that's helped me a lot is basically going 'so what lol' whenever i'm confronted with stuff like that. we're writing self-indulgent stories for fun (and free!), it doesn't need to be this generation's war and peace. it's okay for your work to be 'messy'. writing is like any other hobby, what matters more is enjoying the creating process rather than arriving at a super polished piece that's-100%-without-flaw-god-tier-ready-to-be-accepted-in-the-canon-of-the-bible level stuff. there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting what you work on to be good, i absolutely strive for that myself, but when it feels more like a chore and i'm agonizing over it, i take a step back.

i didn't feel right giving you a watchmojo top ten tips to improve your writing reply in response to this. i was too busy going >:( at the thought of an absolute troglodyte thinking their silly one page of feedback that no one asked for was warranted. like. the world is on fire. we're seeing a surge in cash grabs that have absolutely zero soul behind them. creativity is constantly shoved to the side for a quick buck (hbo max flipping off their animators, ZA/UM booting the minds behind disco elysium who spent literal decades working on the game, the list could go on forever). create what you want and what you love, if someone tries to come @ you with rude feedback, that's cringe. 'you forgot to collect the homework' type energy. zero bitches. lame. zzzzzz.

all this to say . i want to encourage you to not feel burdened that you need to improve your writing PRONTO, because if that's hovering over you, it'll sap away your joy while writing. the thought alone makes me sad. there is no person on the planet who has experienced the exact set of circumstances that you have, meaning you have something to contribute that's entirely unique to you. you can describe things in ways people could never think to because they aren't you, you can infuse your distinct personality into your work, create something from nothing. you already have your own unique writing style; everyone does.

i'm sorry if this isn't coherent or useful, i just ended up getting heated HJTKEMG please keep writing anon!!! but remember that it's okay to take breaks when the negatives outweighs the positives during the writing experience. in fact, it's perfectly normal across the board for any hobby. i'm wishing you the best of luck.

#answered #Anonymous

[antihibikase2]

Numeron Code : Final Wonderland

Long ago, I think I lost something in an unfamiliar place and cried, And a [ dark-eyed ] sorcerer took me by the hand and helped me [ He ] isn't going to come here, I remembered who [ he ] was I'm coming to help you now

The steps of the undersea castle were infinite, as if to dissuade their lone inhabitant from leaving.

Though Slater found the view enthralling, he knew he was not meant to stay here, no matter how loudly the ocean called for him.

The current was merciless- with each step bringing him closer to the light, he was pushed down as soon as escape was within his reach.

All he could see in front of his outstretched hand were bubbles from his throat, as the water pulled him back into the depths of the abyss.

For a moment, he had considered giving up, curling into the safety of the sea's embrace.

But the light filtering through the waves called out to him like a siren's song- and with it came a gloved hand.

He tries again.

No matter how hard he was put down, he had nowhere to go but beyond.

He had lost count of how many times he was brought back to the darkness.

But as long as that hand was within his reach, he could not stop trying.

...

Surrounded by the flames of the end, Piper knew this duel was going to end one way or another.

Either he performed a miracle, a blessing only given by the gods,

Or he, Slater, and Ghetsis would all burn in the flames of hell.

There is no outcome where Ghetsis will win. He refuses to entertain that.

As the wall of flames grew, he could barely hear the screams of his rivals- the ringing silence of the Heralds was all he could focus on, as he stared down at the limp body in his arms.

"I end my turn."

...

Pushed down into stone floors once again, The Herald of Perfection breaks its vow of silence.

"Why do you insist on leaving?"

Was he not so lucky, to be chosen by the angels?

Was he not thankful, to be worthy of their protection?

Was he not happy, to live in comfort in the depths of the sea, where he could not be touched or hurt?

Slater shakes his head.

No matter what treasures these angels offered him, he would not falter.

He promised someone he would meet them.

...

Burning Land's stacked effect with Dark Room of Nightmare, coupled with the charging Wave-Motion Canon-

"Desperate, aren't we?" Ghetsis mocks. "This isn't the strategy you had planned at all."

It wasn't- it was a bit of an old shame, to say the least. Piper never wanted his duels to come off as anything other than perfect, and he didn't want to resort to tactics like burn to gain the upper hand.

He was better than this, smarter, even.

But a cornered dog bites back, no matter how ugly.

Ignoring Ghetsis' taunts, he sticks to his new strategy- or, to be more accurate, he falls back on an old reliable.

"I activate the spell, Swords of Revealing Light. All face down monsters are flipped up in attack position. With this card on the field, you can't attack for three turns."

"Desperate and bidding for time."

It was all he could do, especially when Slater's eyes remained shut.

...

At some point, he had lost track of time.

He must have been expected to be driven to insanity- as for no matter how hard he tried, he could not escape the clutches of the legendary sea.

But, even as the Heralds of Green, Purple, and Orange lights swirl around him, ready to subdue him once more,

He reaches out for that hand at the surface yet again.

As their fingers brush together, he remembers their promise.

...

The heat continues to grow, melting the Sweet Hearts that Piper pops into his mouth in a panic.

With Jinzo on both their fields, Piper wonders how the rest of this duel was going to go-

And then Ghetsis does the unthinkable, and performs an Xyz Summon.

As a new monster emerges from the field, Piper realizes the control he initially thought he had was a mere farce.

Yet, he swallows the bittersweet chocolate down his throat, steeling his nerves.

Though this wasn't the spotlight he envisioned, Piper continues to fight for the sake of the only thing that matters-

But just as he's about to draw his card, he finds that he can no longer see clearly with one of his eyes- the one with the crest.

...

"Slater, I'm sorry I was so busy lately."

"It's alright! How are you? Are you doing well?"

"It's-"

"..."

"..."

"Piper?"

"..listen, Slater. Can we meet up? At our usual spot. I'll meet you at sundown."

...

And so, Slater waits.

Even as the sun sets and the moon takes its place, he waits.

Even as the inky darkness swallows the golden sky, he waits.

Even as an angel shows itself to him, its haunting chime a sign of bad fortune-

He waits.

...

The water slowly rises from the soles of his shoes to his knees.

Strangely, in the midst of this hot summer day, his Sweet Hearts retain their shape.

...

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. This is my fault."

...

"It's okay, I've forgiven you a long time ago."

Their hands meet, and Slater holds his breath as he's taken out of the water.

...

As Piper falters, his body does not meet the marble floor.

With shaky arms and an even shakier breath, Slater stands with his singed holy robes, holding him close to his body as they stood against the devil- the one who had played with their fates.

"The Diviner of The Herald," Ghetsis spits out. "To think you still had the strength to wake, even after all that-"

"Slater?"

"Piper-"

Oh, his throat felt dry. Each word pricked his throat with a thousand needles.

Yet, he smiles.

"Partner."

"Partner- yes, that's me, we promised-"

Ah, bad time.

He looks up at the banner- with only a thousand life points left, on turn fifteen no less, Slater wonders how to turn this duel around.

He wasn't that good of a duelist in the first place.

Still, just as Piper had reached for him, he would offer to do the same, even if his body perishes in hellfire.

With Piper hanging onto him for dear life, Slater summons his duel disk into his arm-

"Here, take mine. It's temporary."

Piper transfers the mark around his eye onto Slater's, in place of his missing D Gazer.

His indigo eye turns to a shining gold, the same shade as the light attribute that was forced upon him.

An angel-

The wings of his tailcoat were burnt off.

Even with these chains binding him to the heavens, Slater persists.

He would not allow himself to ascend.

"Partner," His voice quivers, especially as Ghetsis glares down at his form- "Please, you've done so much for me already. Let me share your burden."

And normally, Piper would not allow such a thing.

But, consumed by his own fatigue, he chooses to believe the sight before him was a dying dream.

"Partner," Piper whispers under his breath. "I'm counting on you."

His eyes shut as Slater fully awakens, having broken out of his dreamland.

As the flames lick up his arm, Slater prays that the angels who had taken him would at least part from his form with a blessing,

and bring about a miracle.

"My turn! I draw!"

#numeron code #fic #surrealism cw