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nerdzzone · 3 years

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Once Bitten - Twice Shy

Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.

One of the challenges of sharing custody is sharing holidays which is something that Whitney Taylor found herself struggling with in the December of 2019. The prospect of spending Christmas without her son was dismaying, but the complications that come with the alternative might be even harder to face.

Chris Evans x OFC

Note: Thank you to everyone who has read, liked or commented on this story! I appreciate the support.

This was the entirety of my original plot, it was just supposed to be a one shot when I started writing it, but it took on a life of it’s own. There’s quite a bit more to come now so I hope no one is too disappointed by the way this ends! I’ve started working on the sequel and have it all mapped out, but I probably won’t post it until it’s mostly finished like I did with this one. So, keep your eyes peeled and please let me know your thoughts!

Part Two

—-

Part Three

26. 12. 19

Waking up, it took a few moments for the memories of the night before to come back to me. When they did, I was filled with relief that I was alone and Chris was no where to be seen. My head throbbed, partially from the alcohol I'd consumed and partially because of the regrets that were filling my mind.

How could we be so stupid? So reckless? How could we risk everything that we'd built for Grayson just for a few moments of relief? How would I be able to push my feelings for Chris aside again after sharing such intimacy with him?

It broke my heart to make the decision to be friends the first time we found ourselves in this situation, how could I be foolish enough to put myself through that again?

I turned my head and groaned into the pillow, a much more distressed, melancholy groan than the ones leaving my lips the night before. I felt like an idiot and I was dreading facing Chris.

After taking another moment to chastise myself for my bad choices, I checked my phone to see the time and was shocked. It was already almost nine thirty and I hadn't heard a peep from the rest of the house. Unfortunately, that meant I didn't have time to mope around in bed, puzzling out what to do.

So, I took just enough time to decide that I needed to make a quick exit before getting up to get myself ready to leave.

When I got to the kitchen, it was surprisingly quiet. None of the men or children were anywhere to be seen as Lisa, Shanna and Carly tidied up the dishes from the breakfast that I'd missed. Apparently, there was another snow storm forecast to start by the early afternoon and everyone had headed out into the snow as soon as they'd finished eating to start shovelling so that we could all leave before it hit.

I was relieved by their quick action because even if I had to shovel the whole driveway by myself and then drive home in a blizzard, I was not sticking around for another night.

Lisa had tried to convince me to let her cook me breakfast, but my stomach was in too many knots to even think about food. I politely declined and settled for a banana and a cup of coffee, chatting with the women as I ate. It distracted me for a while as I tried to shut off some of the noise in my brain, but once I was finished, I knew I had to face the music and head outside.

By the time I got out there, Chris, Scott and their brother-in-law were already halfway down the driveway which was an impressive feat considering how long it was. I waved to them as I put my bag in my car before heading towards where the children were playing in the front yard.

"Mama!" Grayson cheered as I approached them. "Look! We're building a snowman!"

I looked at the sloppy pile of snow they were assembling and smiled.

"Wow, I can see that! Great job, guys!"

He grinned as he ran over to me and threw his arms around my legs. It was a feeling that never got old and I leaned down to squeeze him closer, trying to ignore the wave of guilt that washed over me. He was the most important thing in our situation and we'd lost sight of that.

"Can you help us?"

"Of course," I nodded. "But I need to go talk to your daddy real quick, okay? Then I'll be right back."

"Okay!"

With that, Grayson bolted back over to his cousins to continue their little project. They were so good with him, including him in their games and activities despite his young age and I was happy that he had such good role models to play with. Leaving them under Dodger's watchful eye, I took a deep breath and headed down the driveway to Chris.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," Scott shouted over, the first to notice me coming their way. "Thanks for getting up so early to help us shovel the driveway."

I laughed at his sarcasm and stuck out my tongue, but when he shot me a knowing wink, I felt my cheeks burn. Of course Chris would tell him. I should have expected it, they were as close as brothers could be and Chris was always open with his family.

But it just made me feel worse about the conversation I was about to have as I went over to Chris. Luckily, he was on the opposite side of the driveway to the other two. At least that would give us a modicum of privacy.

"Hey, good morning," he grinned. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did," I returned his smile, though mine was much more forced. "Thanks for letting me sleep in."

"Grayson wanted to wake you up at breakfast," he admitted, looking over at our son as he spoke. "He was worried that you'd be hungry when you woke up and there would be no more food left."

I couldn’t help, but laugh at the thought of his concern.

"He's too sweet, but I appreciate you stopping him," I admitted. "I guess I was tired out after last night."

"Last night," Chris smirked. "Last night was..."

He trailed off as he tried to think of a word to describe it, but my smile disappeared entirely as I could tell from the look on his face that we weren't reflecting on our little incident in the same way. So, I beat him to the punch.

"Last night was a mistake."

My words hung between us for a moment and I knew, from the way that his jaw dropped slightly as if I'd just slapped him across the face, that he wasn't happy with what I'd said.

"Oh, don't give me that crap!" He protested once my words had sunk in, keeping his voice low enough that no one would be able to overhear. "You're saying that it meant nothing to you?"

I really wished we weren't outside with so many watchful eyes around, but this conversation needed to be had and at least this way I'd have an excuse to keep things brief.

"I'm saying that it shouldn't have happened," I clarified, my voice wavering slightly as I questioned my own confidence in my words. "We've worked hard to keep things as stable as possible for Grayson and that's what we need to stay focused on."

"So, you just want to pretend that it never happened?"

My heart felt like it was in a vice. I didn't want to pretend it never happened. I wanted to be with Chris, I wanted us to give it a shot, but I knew that it wouldn't work. I was nothing compared to the women that Chris usually dated and when it all fell apart, Grayson would be the one stuck in the middle. It wasn't fair to him.

But that knowledge didn't make it any less painful when I nodded my head.

"I think that's for the best."

Chris scoffed, looking down at the snow as if he couldn't even stand to look at me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to run away or cry and throw myself into his arms so I settled for simply standing there quietly, waiting for him to say something.

It felt like an eternity, but after a minute or two of total silence, he finally spoke.

"Just let me make sure that I'm getting this right," he started, looking back up at me with such an intensity that it made my eyes swim with tears. “You really have no feelings for me at all? Because if you feel even a little bit like I do then you couldn’t possibly think you’re making any sense right now.”

I swallowed hard, trying to come to terms with the situation that I found myself in. A situation where Chris could be standing in front of me, telling me that he had feelings for me after all these years that we’d been determined to be just friends. It would have felt like a cruel joke if there wasn’t so much hurt in his eyes, so much fear that I was about to reject him. Fear that proved to be entirely justified when I finally got my emotions under control enough to answer him.

"It doesn't matter," I told him softly. "It's not about what I feel or what you feel. We have someone more important to consider."

“That's bullshit!"

I flinched at the harshness of his words and his raised voice as Scott shouted over a reminder about language as the kids weren't very far away. I could feel the tears still filling my eyes, but I knew I had to stick to my guns.

"It's not bullshit," I insisted. "It's the right thing to do."

"But you said yourself, he's starting to notice that things are different," Chris pointed out, his voice thankfully much softer than it had been moments ago . "Why not take the chance to give him a normal family if that's what we both want anyway?"

"Because it will hurt him more if it doesn't work out."

"Hurt him?" Chris questioned, his scowl deepening. "Or hurt you?"

Both of us.

The truth was that I was worried that Chris would hurt me just as much as I worried that our decision would hurt Grayson, but I could handle the risk to myself if it was my choice. I couldn't handle our son being collateral damage.

I could feel Chris' gaze locked intently on me, but I couldn't lift my eyes to meet his. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold onto my argument when the decision I was making wasn't even what I truly wanted. I needed this conversation to end before I let my guard down and made anymore stupid choices.

"We can't talk about this here, Chris."

"Well, when will we talk about it then?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I need to think."

Chris shook his head as a sigh fell from his lips. He looked defeated.

"Alright."

I took that as an end to the conversation and turned to walk away, but I'd only made it a few steps when Chris called out to me again.

"I care about you, Whitney," he told me as I looked back over my shoulder. "This wasn't nothing to me. I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to make this work."

That only made me feel worse as I had done it without such noble intentions and with doubt still plaguing my mind. I felt cowardly, but I couldn't bring myself to answer him as I looked away and continued on my way back towards our son.

I stayed outside, playing with the kids in the snow, until the driveway was clear. Once my car was free, I scooped Grayson up and said my goodbyes.

"Be good for your dad, okay?"

"Okay, Mama!" He smiled, pressing a big, sloppy kiss on my cheek. "I love you!"

"I love you too, buddy. I'll see you in a few days."

I put him down and waved as he ran back to follow his cousins who were heading inside.

Turning back to my car, I wasn’t entirely surprised to see Chris leaning against the hood. However, I was surprised to see that the scowl that had been firmly on his face since we talked had eased somewhat and I was even more surprised when he pulled me into a hug as soon as I was close enough.

"Drive safe," he warned me. "The roads still look pretty bad."

"I will," I nodded, easing myself out of his grip. "And I'm sorry, Chris. I really am."

"Don't sweat it." He shrugged, but the dejected look on his face did little to assure me that he accepted my apology. "We'll talk soon though, right?"

I nodded and stepped back, moving to get into my car as Chris moved away from the hood.

He stayed there on the driveway, watching me as I turned the car around and waving as I drove off until he was out of sight.

I felt exhausted and heavy. There were tears brewing in my eyes as I turned onto the road, just as they had been when I drove these streets on Christmas Eve as I was taking Grayson to dad's house and thinking I would be spending the holidays alone. It was amazing to me how I managed to escape the sad, bleak Christmas that I had been anticipating at that point, and yet still somehow managed to come away feeling just as lonely.

And it was amazing to me that I ever let myself think that raising a child with Chris Evans wouldn't be emotionally draining as long as we weren't in a relationship. At this point, it seemed to just make things harder, but I knew that one day both of them would thank me for the sacrifice I was making right now.

I knew that it was the right decision for all three of us and one little slip up, one lapse in judgment and will power, wouldn't derail all the hard work that Chris and I had put in to co-parenting our son.

Or, at least, I hoped with all my heart that it wouldn't.

#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #chris evans x ofc #once bitten twice shy

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stargazing-enby · 3 years

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Omg I just realized I forgot to send u a Christmas prompt! How abt 1 and in case that one got taken 20 and just in case that one got taken too 23 😂 or maybe you want to do all three I’d love to read anything!! 🎄✨

This is my walk of shame... I got this ask in December of 2019 for this ask game and then never filled it 😅 but hey, better late than never, right? 😂 Thank you so much for the ask! I wrote prompt 20. “That’s my scarf”.

Thanks @april-thelightfury115 for betaing!

Drarry | 1.4k | Teen and Up | Auror Partners, Getting Together, Winter Fluff, They’re both idiots but they’re very into each other so that’s okay, Harry Potter tries to be romantic (and kinda succeeds) | Read on AO3

“That’s my scarf.”

Draco—eyes barely visible under the giant scarf that enveloped him—looked up at him, held his gaze for a whole two seconds, and then very pointedly looked back down at the case file sitting before him.

“Heating charms are a thing, you know,” Harry added, setting the coffee he’d brought Draco on the git’s side of the table and sitting heavily in his chair, squinting at the stack of paperwork that awaited him. “If you’re really that cold we can strengthen them a bit.”

Draco nuzzled the scarf and turned the page without a word. Harry huffed with a shake of his head. The git was still mad at him, he knew, but this was certainly a peculiar way to be mad at someone; especially since Draco was playing with the fringe of the scarf, his long fingers twining and twirling the soft strands of dark red wool. It seemed like a mindless gesture, but Harry wouldn’t put it past him to be doing it on purpose: after all, he knew very well what Harry thought of his fingers.

Harry didn’t even attempt to concentrate on the paperwork. He took a sip of his coffee and said, “Look, I’m an idiot, okay? Just give me a piece of your mind and be done with it, please?”

Draco turned another page. Glanced up at Harry for but a second.

“I’m certain I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, voice low. “Your scarf is merely the softest garment I’ve ever come across. I can never find scarves that don’t irritate the skin of my throat, you know.”

His fingers turned and twisted around the fringe. Harry sighed.

“I asked you to date me and you’re mad at me.”

“Wrong. You asked me to date you while we were buying Christmas-themed socks for Weasley and I’m rightfully mad at you.”

“It seemed like a good idea in the moment,” Harry said, sheepish.

Draco looked up at the ceiling, incredulity and exasperation painted all over his face.

“Of course it did, you heathen,” he murmured, talking to himself more than to Harry. “For the love of Merlin, Potter. I would’ve assumed you’d know by now I am a man of romance. One doesn’t simply bring up the possibility of a serious, long-term relationship with me while buying pieces of clothing that are going to warm Weasley’s smelly feet for years to come.”

Harry couldn’t help it—he snorted, burying his face in his hands. Draco was right: Ron’s feet reeked.

“And how, potentially,” Harry said after a moment, “would one interest you in a serious, long-term relationship to ensure you’d say yes?”

Draco pretended—rather dramatically, at that—to consider the question for a few seconds: humming aloud, scratching his chin under the scarf, staring vacantly.

“Homemade dinner with candles would be the bare minimum, I’d say. But if one wanted to be certain I’d say yes, some other details would have to be involved…”

“Like…?”

“Like nice robes,” Draco said, squinting at Harry’s old jumper and jeans. “Cologne would be appreciated too. Low, background music to compliment the low crackling of the hearth... I’d have to be notified in advance, of course, so I could dress accordingly, and a bottle of wine would certainly seal the deal.”

Harry just gaped at him.

“You’re unbelievable,” he said. “That has to be the poshest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“I did tell you I was a romantic, didn’t I?”

“You’re impossible, is what you are,” Harry declared. “Can I have my scarf back now, please?”

Draco smirked.

“Heating charms are a thing, you know?”

***

Draco didn’t look up from his paperwork when Harry walked into their office and closed the door behind him. The idiot was still wearing the scarf—he’d taken it home the previous evening and had walked into the department that morning with it draped around his neck for everyone to see—and was, once again, playing with it absent-mindedly while he worked.

Harry halted at the other side of the table, rummaging in his pocket. He pulled out the hearth-scented candle he’d bought that very morning a few streets away from the Ministry, set it down on the table, and lit it up with the tip of his wand.

Draco did look up, then.

“What’s this?”

Instead of answering, Harry rested a plastic bag on the desk and took out a glass container, opening it and placing it where Draco would see—and most importantly, smell—its contents.

“Potter, what…?” Draco inhaled—deeply, slowly—eyes falling closed for an instant before looking up incredulously at him. “Why?”

“Homemade samosas,” he said, gesturing at the pastries, still warm despite having been cooked the previous night. “Candle.” He pointed at the small flame. “And, lest I forget…” He removed his cardigan; he wasn’t wearing his fanciest robes—that would’ve been too out of place at work—but he’d put on the tight jeans he’d been wearing the first time he’d caught Draco staring at his thighs while out for a walk, as well as the jacket Draco had declared, a few months back, to be the most decent item in Harry’s wardrobe—his assessment having allegedly nothing to do with the excessive amount of buttons the thing had, even if it was the world’s worst kept secret that Draco had a passion for buttons.

He let Draco stare back and forth between him and the samosas for a few moments before saying—with a rise and fall of his shoulders, with a small shake to his voice despite his efforts— “I want to date you. A-And I know you want it too because you wouldn’t have worn my scarf in front of the entire Ministry staff if you didn’t want everyone to assume we were an item. So…there you go. Homemade samosas. Cheese, chicken, and spiced potatoes. I have no idea if you even like spiced potatoes, but you don’t have to eat them if you don’t—”

Draco stood, and Harry gulped, his voice dying.

Slowly, painfully slowly, Draco walked around the table and stood before him. He looked down at Harry’s clothes; raised a hand as if to touch the buttons of his jacket, then changed his mind and let it fall to his side again. He looked up at Harry’s face, then, and Harry held his breath, gaze drawn to a faint freckle underneath Draco’s right eye.

“I said candles, you know,” Draco breathed. “Plural.”

Harry blinked, not understanding.

“Does—does that mean...”

Draco’s thumb found his cheek, fingers tangling in the hair at Harry’s nape. Harry’s breath hitched. When had they gotten so close?

“It means,” Draco murmured, “that I must be very into you, because I’m not even slightly mad you’re asking me out at work, of all places.”

“Better than a clothes shop, isn’t it?”

“The bar was certainly low,” Draco agreed. “Plus, you cooked for me. I can’t overlook that.”

“Right.” The lower half of Draco’s face had poked out from under the scarf when he’d pointed with his head to the table, and Harry’s eyes fell to Draco’s lips.

Draco noticed, and wet his lips with the tip of his tongue. Said, voice rough, “I wouldn’t have chosen this jacket, though.”

Harry looked up, worry crawling through him. But all he found in Draco’s eyes was want so intense it made him shiver for an entirely different reason.

“The things I want to do to you when you’re wearing this…” His hand fell to the buttons: traced the shape of one of them almost reverently. “They shouldn’t even cross my mind while I’m at work.”

“Come to my place after work, then,” Harry said, feeling bold. Feeling breathless, and exhilarated, and way too hot inside his clothes all of a sudden. “I’ll put more candles up and light the fire. You can even go by your house to change into fancy clothes. Grab a bottle of wine, if you have it.”

“I always have wine.” Hands falling to Harry’s waist, Draco licked his lips again.

“Okay,” Harry breathed.

“And I want there to only be embers in the hearth by the end of the night.”

“You’ll have to stay a few hours for that to happen.”

“Good,” Draco said, eyes on Harry’s mouth, and Harry almost kissed him then and there, Draco’s standards about romance be damned—but then Draco took a step back, and another until his hip was resting by the table. He grabbed a samosa and bit into it: hummed, eyes falling closed. Crumbs falling onto Harry’s scarf as he savoured the pastry.

After swallowing, Draco grinned.

“I love spiced potatoes.”

#otpshipper98 #drarry #drarry squad #drarry fic #christmas drarry #drarry fluff #tsauergrass

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all-the-love-harold · 3 years

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Fine Line

Chapter 1 - Lovin’ you’s the antidote

The First installment of my new series, let me know what you think about Harry and Clara

December 16th 2019

Clara was sitting on her window sill staring out at the rain falling down onto the street below her. People were battling with their umbrellas against the wind and she felt a sudden feeling of warmth as she stared into her living room, her best friend's new album playing through her TV and grateful that she wasn’t outside and that she didn’t have to leave her flat now until tomorrow morning she turned it up. The sound of Harry’s voice singing “Just let me adore you” echoed around the room and in that moment, she couldn’t help but feel lonely. Harry was still in LA after the release of his album and the rest of her friends were back in their hometowns for Christmas already. Normally she would call her boyfriend, but less than 2 hours after Harry boarded his plane to LA, Will called her and said that he wasn’t in love with her anymore and it was probably best that they stopped seeing each other. And just like that 8 years was over in one phone call and her shoulder to cry on was on a plane halfway over the atlantic.

Clara had met Will on her first day of university and they’d been together ever since but apparently his work had become too important and he didn’t have time for her anymore. She knew this was a load of bullshit, she knew that he’d been spending a lot of time with his assistant, who was very skinny and very blonde and everything that Clara hated about the world.

“You’re better off without him” Harry had said to her over the phone when he finally had the chance to call her back

“Doesn’t feel like it right now” she replied

“I know,” Harry sighed “I wish I could hug you”

“Me too” she said, Harry’s hugs always made everything better, they had ever since they were little and the worst thing that happened to them was falling off their bikes onto the concrete.

Clara sighed deeply as she sunk down into her spot on the bay window. She hated that she couldn’t enjoy having one night to herself, but she had gotten so used to having people around her, people she had to look after or take care of in some way.

“Maybe I should get a dog,” she thought to herself. Then she would never really be alone and she’d always feel needed.

But she lived in a small apartment so she would need a dog that was ok with being left inside while she was at work. Or maybe even a dog that she could take to work with her. Or a dog that Harry could dog sit for her when he was home. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and googled her local shelter. This was the most excited she had felt for months and the advice her mum gave her when she was young kept replaying in her head

“A dog or a baby will never be a mistake, they might make things harder sometimes, but you’ll love them so much that you’ll never feel like you made the wrong decision” and love was exactly what Clara needed right now. Because after Christmas Harry would be leaving for an almost year long world tour and she couldn’t stand the thought of being alone in London for that long. And her job meant that she couldn’t move back home to Holmes Chapel.

With just nine days left until christmas the shelter was full of dogs that needed new homes, dogs of all shapes and sizes, some who had been there for months and some who had only spent a few days there so far. If she had a bigger space, she'd adopt them all, but for now, one would do. She scrolled through and looked at all the profiles on the website before deciding that she would need to meet the dog before making any kind of concrete decision. And that was that, tomorrow morning she would pick Harry up from the airport and take him straight to the shelter to help her choose her new baby.

***

“Good Morning Ra” Harry said, shoving his bags into the boot of her car. The advantage of having a best friend that lived in London was not having to feel like an ass who needed a chauffeur to drive him around his home city.

“Good Morning Harold” she smiled trying to contain her excitement. Sleeping on the idea of getting a dog had not changed her mind, if anything it had only made her more sure of herself. And maybe slightly nervous.

“You’re very cheerful for someone who’s just been dumped” he said as he sat down in the passenger's seat and buckled his seatbelt.

“Do you have anywhere you need to be today?” she asked, ignoring his attempt at mentioning the elephant in the room

“I have rehearsals tonight, but until 7 I am free, don’t you have to be at work?”

“I have the day off”

Harry frowned “You never take days off” he said suspiciously “What’s going on?”

“We’re going on an adventure” she handed him her phone, “You’re in charge of the music”

“Da da da da da da ddada” The opening line of Golden echoed through the speaker, and Clara drove off,away from the airport, rolling her eyes at Harry for playing his own album.

They drove mostly in silence, Harry didn't want to ask where they were going and after the way she ignored his comment about the break up he didn’t want to bring it up in case it made her sad when right in this moment she seemed happier and more excited than he’d seen her in months.

They pulled up in a dingy looking car park on the outskirts of London and Harry furrowed his brow

“Where are we?” he said, half tempted to lock his car door

“I’m getting a dog” she smiled widely

“A dog?”

“Yeah, you know four legs, barks, like to go on walks, looks really cute when it’s asleep”

Harry laughed “I know what a dog is” he said, “But you’re not home enough for a dog”

“Office dog” she smirked “and I didn’t think you’d have any objections to dog sitting when you’re around”

“I mean, I don’t” he half smiled “but are you sure”

“Harold, in the very wise words of my beautiful mother, a dog or a baby is never a bad thing. And since the other half of my baby decided to up and fuck off a week ago, I’m getting a dog”

Harry sighed and unclipped his seatbelt, “You know most people find a rebound after a breakup, but a dog suits you better.” Harry knew when to stop arguing, he’d known Clara his whole life and, in a way, he knew she was right, a dog really was exactly what she needed.

They walked into the shelter side by side and anyone walking past would guess that they were a happy couple, looking to add the first addition to their little family. But that wasn’t the case, Harry and Clara had never been and will never be more than friends, despite what their mothers might think.

“Hi” Clara said as they walked into reception “I’m looking to adopt a dog”

“Of course” the girl smiled eyeing Harry off “just follow the hall all the way down to the end and one of the girls will help you once you’re down there.”

“Thanks” Harry smiled, winking at her as they walked away.

“Do you you have to flirt with everyone?” Clara said to him once they were out of earshot

“Just helping you get a really cute one”

Clara rolled her eyes and ignored him, she found that sometimes if she indulged him too much he became even more annoying.

They walked through the door at the end of the hallway and Clara’s heart immediately split into two. The dogs were all in tiny cages and a few of them looked unwell and malnourished, and that sympathetic feeling she felt when scrolling through their profiles last night only increased tenfold, staring into their lonely little eyes.

“Hi, my name’s sarah” a girl came around the corner, a wide grin on her face “are you just having a look or are you here to adopt today?”

“I’d like to adopt” Clara said definitively

“Yay!” Sarah said, “These dogs here have only just arrived and they’re not quite ready for adoption yet, but if you really fall in love with one of them you can come back in a few weeks and pick them up once they’ve had their needles and health checks or, if you go a little further down, those guys are ready to go - do you have a yard for a big dog, or were you looking for an apartment dog”

“I have a flat” Clara said, “but he has a yard just around the corner from my flat where I would take the dog to run around”

“I think I have the perfect boy for you!” Sarah exclaimed and started down the hallway, stopping outside a cage.

Clara smiled up at Harry and followed, almost at a run she was so excited.

“This is Larry, he’s a 10 month old greyhound and he’s been living in this shelter for 7 of those months”

Clara turned to face the dog and instantly fell in love, she crouched down and let him sniff her hand and instead he gave it a big lick and snuggled into it.

“He’s a sweet boy” Sarah said “but he’s not without his issues, he’s been seen by our behaviour therapist and he’ll need ongoing training and support but a little bit of love will go a long way with this little guy”

“What did he need to see the behavior therapist for?” Harry asked, knowing that Clara wouldn’t.

“He’s displayed a few guarding behaviors, they’re not uncommon for his breed, with the right training, he’ll grow into a wonderful dog”

Clara had stopped listening, she was kneeling down now, with her hand outstretched so that Larry could sniff it. But he didn’t want to just sniff, he greeted Clara with a great big lick and she knew right then that this was the dog that she would be taking home today.

“I’m sold” she said, without taking her eyes off the dog, who was now sitting very elegantly, staring up at her.

“Really?” Sarah said “Great, I’ll go and get him and take him to the play area and you guys can get to know each other while I get all the paperwork sorted - any questions?”

“Just one” Clara said thinking of the only obvious issue with adopting a dog named Larry and being publicly linked to Harry “Can I change his name?”

“Of course” Sarah smiled “He’s still a pup so he’ll learn his new name very quickly”

“Perfect”

Harry smiled at Clara as Sarah walked away “Are you sure Ra?”

“I’m sure as hell H, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life”

“Alright then” he smiled “guess I’m becoming an uncle today”

***

“How about David Bowie” Harry said later that afternoon, sitting on Clara’s living room floor, throwing Larry the tiny tennis ball that he’d gone out and bought after they got him home.

“Bowie for short” Clara mused “I really like that”

“David when he’s in trouble” Harry laughed

“Bowie” Clara called and Larry’s ears pricked up

“Bowie” she said again, and he bounded over to her.

“Well that’s settled then” Harry said.

Bowie sat down on Clara's lap while she petted his head gently.

"I'm so in love with you already little dog"

Harry spent the rest of the afternoon watching as Clara turned into the dog mum she was always meant to be and he felt his heart swell every time she smiled at something Bowie did.

"Loving you's the antidote" he thought to himself although in that moment he wasn’t entirely sure who was helping who.

***

December 19th, 2019 - London’s Electric Ballroom.

Late was one thing that Clara hated being. If she was ever late for something it usually filled her with so much anxiety that she would have to call someone and let them know that she was in fact on her way. But tonight she was running late because she couldn’t tear herself away from a snuggle on the couch with her beautiful boy and she hadn’t called anyone because couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone that she was late to her best friend's album release because she was too busy snuggling her dog and that she wasn't sorry at all. So instead she snuck in the back door, slipped into the dressing room and pretended she had been there the whole time.

“Gem!” she exclaimed when she spotted Harry’s sister “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.

“No you haven’t” she smirked “You just snuck in that back door, you were late”

“Shhh” clara hushed “Don’t tell H”

“He won’t care, not today, anyway - Have you met the latest piece of arm candy?”

Clara batted her eyelashes at the news that Harry was dating someone new

“No” she shook her head, “I didn’t know there was anyone new”

“Oh they only met a few days ago, just before he left for LA I think, but she’s pretty clingy and so far she doesn’t seem that nice”

“Blonde?” Clara asked, a tone of bitterness evident in her voice

Gemma nodded

“Skinny?”

“You bet” Gemma sighed

“Checks out” Clara nodded, “That’s why he hasn’t told me, I think he’s afraid I’ll get sad if he’s dating someone that looks like the girl Will slept with 2 days after he broke up with me”

“What a prick” Gemma said “Will, I mean, not H… maybe H a little bit” she added

“Is she here?” Clara asked, raising her eyebrows as if she was on a mission.

“Yeah” Gemma nodded towards the closed door to Harry’s private dressing room “They’re in there together, doors locked”

“Gross” Clara rolled her eyes.

All of Clara’s gulit about being late seemed to disappear after that, Harry would never know, or care if he was too busy having sex with a girl he’s only just met in the dressing room just before the show. Especially if hadn’t deemed her important enough to tell Clara about.

Go time was fast approaching and eventually Jeff and Tommy, Harry’s managers, started ushering all the guests into the concert hall, so that Harry could get ready and warm up. Clara had never been to this venue before, but as herself and Gemma stepped out onto the balcony, she understood why it was called the electric ballroom, the room was buzzing with excitement and she felt herself become excited too. She did always love watching Harry perform. She had ever since they were babies and Harry would dance in the kitchen play area at daycare and she would giggle along.

“Just there” Gemma whispered to her, pointing at the tall blonde that just walked into the room.

Clara shrugged and handed Gemma the glass of wine that she herself had just been handed “Well if H won’t introduce me, I’ll just introduce myself”

She walked over to where the girl stood, looking lonely and out of place and held her hand out to her quickly withdrawing it, thinking about where it might have been not too long ago.

“Hi, I’m Clara” she said, keeping her hands firmly by her side, “I’m Harry’s best friend, Gemma told me that you guys are dating”

The girl looked her up and down “I’m Shelly” she said, sounding bored with the conversation already “If you’re his best friend you’ve probably been to one of these things before right”

“Yeahhh” Clara nodded, not sure where she was going with this “Once, this only his second album”

“How long do they go for? I’ve got a somewhere to be later”

“He’ll be on stage for about an hour and half” Clara said taken aback by the lack of support she was showing “but it’s a release show, so he’ll want to hang around celebrate the album going to number one already”

Shelly scoffed “Oh well I Probably can’t stay for that, I might even have to leave before he gets off stage”

Before Clara had a chance to reply the house lights turned off and a voice began to echo around the room.

“Right” Clara nodded, not wanting to say too much, although it was becoming pretty clear to her that they both seemed to only be in this for sex “Well it was nice to meet you, I’m going to go watch from over there”

“She’s a delight, isn’t she?” Gemma said, handing Clara back her glass of wine, glad that the screams were echoing around the room loud enough to drown her words out from any eavesdroppers.

“I give it a month”

Gemma didn’t have a chance to retort, because Harry had made his way onto the stage and the screams filling the room became deafening, but she thought a month was ambitious.

“Golden, golden, golden, As I open my eyes' ' A smile as wide as Harry’s cheeks spread across his face as he looked out into the crowd and he winked at Clara when he found her standing next to Gemma on the balcony.She always loved that his first instinct was to find her in a room full of people. She smiled back at him and tears filled her eyes. She was so proud of the man standing up on that stage, he’d come so far since the last time they were standing in a room like this and she’d been there every step of the way.The smile on his face said it all, he was happy and he was proud of the album he’d written and so was she.

“I’m Harry, nice to meet you, thank you very much for having me, how are you? Harry said after playing Golden “The crowd cheered and Harry moved his gaze back to where Clara and Gemma were standing, tears streaming down both of their faces “Good! Before we start the show properly, I’d like to point out that my beautiful sister and my beautiful best friend are already crying, after they promised they would wait until I sang Falling”

The crowd laughed and Clara only cried more while Gemma tried to hide her tears from everyone who had now turned around to look at them.

“So my new album came out a week ago, and tonight I’m going to play it for you. London is home. You are my home, it only felt right to sing it in front of you before it goes on tour. So welcome, and sing along when you can”

As Harry began to sing Watermelon Sugar, Clara glanced over at the space where Shelly had been standing and noticed that she was gone. Clara shrugged and turned back to face the stage. All she wanted to do now was dance, and enjoy the art her best friend had devoted himself to for the last year and a half.

When the first notes of “Falling” echoed around the room Clara’s heart sank and she was taken back to the day he’d written the song. It wasn’t that long ago, 4 months maybe, and he was heartbroken, a complete mess, he had been so in love and camille had ripped his heart right out of his chest and walked away with it. He didn’t know what to do with himself, so he found comfort in Clara’s apartment, pretending that none of it ever happened. And that’s exactly how Clara felt now, Will was gone, she was alone, and she felt like maybe that was it for her, she’d had her one great love and now she was someone no one would want around. Life had it’s funny ways of letting you know that you’re on the right path, and for Clara, listening to Harry on stage, reclaiming his heart for himself in a room full of people who loved and supported him through his worst moments, was one of them, if he could do it, so could she. Each song after that filled her heart with more and more pride and by the time Harry came off stage she felt as though she was going to explode.

“Harry fucking Styles” she said running into his arms when she finally got backstage

“Clara fucking Riley” he wrapped his arms around her

“I want to stay and party but I have to get home to my Bowie”

Harry kissed on the forehead “If I could I’d skip the party to hang out with Bowie too.”

“He’s pretty much the best”

“I’ll stumble in at some point later on though” he smiled “So we can head back home for christmas early tomorrow”

“Good idea, alright, Love you H - and we have to talk about Shelly in the car!”

“No we don’t” he smirked

95 notes · View notes

spine-buster · 4 years

Text

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 12

A/N: Thank you all so much for the positive feedback on the last chapter despite very minimal Willy/Aberdeen interaction. This chapter and the ones coming will definitely make up for it.

December 15th, 2019

Aberdeen Bloom was trying to get into the biggest gated house she’d ever seen in her life.

She’d taken an Uber up to the Bridle Path, the exclusive street in Toronto filled with massive mansions the size of her high school with their own private gates and tennis courts and and pools and indoor pools and indoor basketball courts and bowling alleys and wine cellars and all the other frivolous things rich people could build in their houses. She bet each one even had a heated driveway so that nobody in the house had to wake up at the crack of dawn to shovel. The Uber driver had already driven away, not even bothering to wait to see if she got in safely, so she hoped to be let in soon.

“Name, please?” a loud voice asked through the intercom-or-whatever-it-was system these rich people had for their house. She bet they probably had cameras too and saw her impatiently waiting outside.

“Aberdeen Bloom.”

“Abba-what?”

She rolled her eyes. “Aberdeen Bloom,” she enunciated more clearly. “Brendan Shanahan’s personal assistant.” She was starting to get annoyed that she had to attach that caveat for anybody in the hockey world or the rich people world to take her seriously.

The gate buzzed open, and Aberdeen walked quickly towards the front entrance, about the ring the doorbell before it opened magically for her. A butler. A butler opened the door for her and greeted her, offering to take her coat and letting her know she could keep her shoes on. There were waiters and waitresses carrying around plates of expensive looking hors d’oeuvres and others carrying around flutes of champagne. There was a giant, giant Christmas tree in the – the foyer? The reception hall? What did rich people call these things? – decorated with expensive looking ornaments, ribbons, and what Aberdeen thought had to be Swarovski crystals. It had to be at least 15 or 20 feet high. It was a far cry from her family’s Christmas tree, which was decorated with all the homemade ornaments she, Siena, and Camden had made throughout their years in school. She almost felt like she was in the Eaton Centre. There were even boxes upon boxes of presents underneath it, all wrapped with the same wrapping paper and with giant nametags. Jolly Christmas carols were being played through some sort of speaker.

She couldn’t believe rich people lived like this. She couldn’t believe she was in a house on the Bridle Path with these rich people. What had her life become?

“Aberdeen!” she heard her name being called. She looked to her side to see Brendan approaching her, leaving his wife speaking to whoever they were speaking to for a quick second. “So nice to see you! You look lovely as always.”

“Oh, thanks Brendan.”

“Come with me,” he said, guiding her towards the people he was speaking to. “Aberdeen, I want you to meet Dani Reiss, whose house we’re in. Dani’s the CEO of Canada Goose. Dani, this is my executive assistant, Aberdeen Bloom.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Aberdeen,” he said as they shook hands. Aberdeen was hyperaware of his handshake and the fact that she was shaking hands with yet another billionaire. She truly, truly couldn’t understand what her life had become. She wished Siena or Kasha were here to do all the talking. They were much better at it than she was, she thought. “How are you enjoying working for the Toronto Maple Leafs?”

Aberdeen chuckled nervously. She wondered if he really cared, but then remembered that they were having their Christmas party at his house, and he’d gone through all this trouble to keep them entertained, so he probably did. “Oh, it’s amazing! A bit hectic at times, but overall it’s been a great experience so far. Everyone’s just been so great and welcoming – you wouldn’t even know that I didn’t watch hockey before I got the job.”

That led to a chuckle amongst Brendan, Catherine, and Dani. “I bet a million people would kill for your job,” Dani commented through his laugh.

There it was again. That thing everybody said to her when they learned what her job was. She’d heard it for months now, since her first day on the job, and it was becoming abundantly clear with each passing day that it was something many people coveted. “I know, sir. I’m very lucky to have it and to work with such an incredible team.”

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Brendan smile. Dani was already smiling at her. “Well Aberdeen, mi casa es su casa! Feel free to take a wander, grab some drinks, and enjoy the food!”

She thanked them as they left her there, walking towards another group with Leanne Hederson. Aberdeen walked further into the foyer where the giant Christmas tree was, admiring it for a moment before looking around to see if she could see anybody she recognized. She knew that, at this point, she could walk up to any member of the team or the administration and join in on their conversation, but the setting was slightly different than what she was used to (at the offices, of course) and it made her a bit nervous.

“Brendan girl?”

Aberdeen visibly cringed. She looked to her side to see her absolute favourite person in the whole entire world, Ethan Baker, walking over to her with a drink in his hands. “Why are you here?”

She rolled her eyes at him. He did this at every event they attended, as if she wasn’t allowed to be there. “You constantly forget we work for the same team,” she said.

“Yeah, except one of our jobs is more important than the other,” he quipped. She felt like punching him right then and there until she remembered this was a Christmas party at a billionaire’s mansion and it was socially frowned upon to start fights at parties. “I didn’t know assistants were allowed to these things.”

“Peter’s here.”

“Doesn’t that mean you two should be helping the waiters?”

Aberdeen’s jaw dropped. “What is your problem?” she demanded.

“Aw, come on, I’m just ribbing you.”

“You know, just because I got the job over you—”

“—Cause you look really hot in those pants, Brendan girl.”

She stopped. She was shocked at what he’d just said. It had to be because he was already drunk. She couldn’t think of another plausible expectation. She couldn’t believe how hot and cold he was at these sorts of events, remembering what he was like at the Major Donor Gala. “Besides,” she said through gritted teeth, “being a waiter isn’t something to be frowned upon. A lot of my friends waited their way through university.”

“And you didn’t be a waitress or hostess? With the way you look, you would have gotten really good tips.”

She felt like spiders were crawling underneath her skin. She thought back to that day where she let him get in her head – when he’d called her a piggy for warming up a burrito. “Are you trying to flirt with me? Because you’re failing miserably.”

“I’m trying to—”

“Aberdeen!”

She looked to her side to see an excited looking Bee McTavish making a beeline towards her. Bee somewhat-stared, somewhat-glared at Ethan as she hooked her arm with Aberdeen’s. “You don’t mind if I steal her, do you? A bunch of her friends are just over there,” she nodded her head towards a group that included Jason and Jennifer Spezza, Morgan, and John and Aryne Tavares.

“I’m her friend,” Ethan quipped, smiling.

“I’m sure,” Bee nodded her head, grimacing every so slightly. “Have a good night,” she dismissed him before tugging on Aberdeen’s arm and leading her in the opposite direction. “God, that guy is such a skeeze,” she whispered to Aberdeen.

“Yeah.”

“Does he work here?”

“Tech and video playback,” Aberdeen informed her.

“Well, you’re with us now,” Bee smiled as she brought Aberdeen into the fold of the group.

Aberdeen greeted and hugged everyone before noticing Will at the tail end. She gave him a quick hug and a – God he smelled impeccable – and a cordial ‘Nice to see you!’ before he settled into his usual William behaviour. “What do you think?” he asked.

She knew he was waiting for one of her famous retorts. She took another look at his look: blonde hair, navy blue up top and an actual pair of burnt orange pants. She wondered if his fashionable status edged on the side of completely insane. Everything was tailored to perfection, and nothing was wrinkled or anything like that, but she couldn’t get over the orange pants. “You look like Sailor Venus.”

Everybody burst out into laughter. Even William smiled from ear to ear. “Alright alright, very funny Aberdeen.”

“You know I’m right.”

The group talked about their Christmas plans. This was Aryne and John’s first Christmas with baby Jace, so it was going to be extremely special for them. Morgan’s parents and brother were flying in from Vancouver to spend time with him and Bee. It was also Jason and Jennifer’s first Christmas in Toronto with their four girls – even though Jason was from here – so that was another special event that they’d be hosting at their house. William would probably be Skyping with his family in Sweden, having his own version of a family Christmas. It was unfortunate that whatever plans the boys had with their families would have to be cut short slightly because they had a game in New Jersey on the 27th, and it was even more unfortunate that because of a game in Minnesota, they’d all be away from their families on New Year’s – Aberdeen included. It was the first time she would be out of Toronto for New Year’s, and not spending the night with her family or out with her friends.

Jason and Jennifer ended up giving Aberdeen a tour of the parts of the house they’d already explored, with William following behind them somewhat lazily. She saw Ethan at one point and could feel him staring at her. There were a couple of different food stations, and she picked up some sushi and other appetizers on the way around. The house was expansive, and again, she couldn’t believe rich people lived like this. She could only imagine what the bedrooms looked like, or the basement, where she was sure there were ridiculous things like a bowling alley, or a 10,000 bottle wine cellar, or a home theatre.

Dani Reiss ended up calling Jason and Jennifer over, so Aberdeen found herself alone with William. William seemed to enjoy the situation, as he always did – the smirk on his face revealing all – but when Aberdeen looked past him, she saw Ethan staring at her again, pretending to talk to his colleague who worked in tech and video playback. She bit her lip nervously. She knew she couldn’t let him get to her, but he already had once before and it almost cost her the job she had – the one he so desperately wanted. She couldn’t let him keep doing this to her. She needed to be strong. She needed to be—

“Aberdeen.”

William’s stern voice broke her out of her trance. “What?”

“Did you hear anything I just said about how nice you look?”

“N—N—Yeah…yeah yeah, thanks,” she said absent-mindedly.

That wasn’t a normal reaction from her at all whenever he complimented her looks. Usually it was an eye-roll and a ‘stop it!’. William discreetly looked over his shoulder to where she was looking. He saw Ethan look away once he caught him. He whipped his head back towards her. “Is he messing with you?” William asked, his voice low.

“What? No no,” Aberdeen shook her head quickly. “Don’t worry about it—”

“Aberdeen, if he’s messing with you, I’ll fucking kill him—”

“Will, no,” she stressed. “Just leave it alone.”

“Is he bothering you?”

“No.”

“What was he saying to you earlier?”

“Nothing,” she said. There was no way she was going to tell him. “Just…just stupid stuff. Work stuff. It was honestly nothing.”

“You’d tell me, right?” William said. He’d asked that question before. She couldn’t discern his tone of voice but by the way he was looking at her she knew he was dead serious and knew there was at least a hint of worry. “You’d tell me if he said something, right? If he made you feel uncomfortable? Because I’ve already tried to talk to Babs about it, and I know he’s gone now but I have no problem speaking to someone on your behalf if you’re too scared to.”

She felt like telling him. She really did. But she couldn’t – not now, at the Christmas party, and not ever, because it was something she needed to deal with on her own. Somehow, at least. She didn’t know how she was going to deal with it, only that she had to. So instead, Aberdeen shook her head. “It’s fine, Will. Don’t worry. And yes. I’d tell you.”

So it was a little white lie. Who hadn’t told a little white lie in their life?

William visibly relaxed at her words. He finished his drink and placed it on the tray of a passing server. “You ready to go outside?”

“Outside?” Aberdeen looked at Will strangely. “It’s the middle of December. We’re staying inside, thank you very much.”

“Nooooo no no no no,” he chuckled and shook his head. He went to grab her hand but then remembered where he was, pulling it back towards his body. “Come on. Come with me. You’re in for the surprise of your life.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Hey Aberdeen! Willy! You coming or what?” Jennifer Spezza called out as she waved them down from the sliding doors leading to the backyard. “Come on! It’s time to skate!”

Aberdeen threw William a confused look. “Skate?”

They made their way towards the door, and when Aberdeen stepped through the threshold, she couldn’t believe what she saw: an entire skating rink – boards and everything – where she presumed Dani’s tennis court was, where some people were already skating. There were lights, people were laughing, and there was even a whole skate rental helping out. There were even fucking portable heaters. Again, she couldn’t believe rich people lived like this. She couldn’t believe that Dani would offer up his house, hire all the waiting staff, hire the catering staff, buy all those gifts, flood an entire portion of his backyard, and put up a skating rink so he could give the Maple Leafs a Christmas party. Those closer she walked to the rink with William, Jason, and Jennifer, the more she couldn’t believe it.

“What size are you, miss?”

“Uh, I’m a seven in regular shoes…” she said, not knowing if that made a difference. The person turned around to look for skates, and Aberdeen turned towards William. “I’m…I’m not good at skating at all.”

“You don’t have to be,” he smiled. “You’ve got a team full of hockey players to help you along, minskatt.”

“No no. I’m not just, like, saying that to be cute or whatever,” she said. She needed to make that abundantly clear because she was sure she was going to make a complete ass of herself. “I’m not good at skating. I don’t even know how to tie them up properly.”

“Again, you have a whole hockey team at your disposal,” William said with a giggle in his voice. When the skates were handed over, Jason took them before Aberdeen could. “You gonna lace her up?” William asked him.

“I’ve got it,” Jason nodded his head. “Aberdeen, go sit on the bench. And give me your right foot.”

Aberdeen felt powerless as she did as she was told. Jason shoved the skate onto her foot and kept it between his legs to tighten them and lace them up. Jennifer put on her own skates right beside her, and William was on her other side doing the same. “I feel like one of your children,” Aberdeen joked to them.

Jason smiled. “You’re practically the same age as Sophia.”

“Am not!” Aberdeen protested. “Sophia was born in 2010!”

“Yeah, and you’re born in 98. I’m born in 83. There’s fifteen years between you and I, but only twelve between you and Sophia,” Jason said.

“It’s practically the same thing!”

“No. You’re a baby,” Jason chuckled. “The both of you,” he nodded his head towards William, “are babies.”

Once her skates and helmet were fully on, and tight enough so her ankles weren’t moving so they wouldn’t snap in half, Aberdeen wobbled her way over towards the ice rink. She looked out onto the ice and saw Bee skating, screaming as she slipped and fell right into Frederik Andersen’s arms. The both of them laughed heartily as he held on to her like a knight in shining armour would catch his princess. Morgan called out to them in a joking manner, feigning disgust and annoyance.

“Aberdeen?” she heard William’s soft voice. Jason and Jennifer were already on the ice. She hadn’t even seen them get on. She had taken a while to psych herself up, apparently. “You okay?”

“I’m just being an idiot,” she shook her head, embarrassed.

“You’re not being an idiot, minskatt.”

“Says the guy who was in skates before he was in shoes with soles,” she tried to joke. “I work for a hockey team and I don’t even know how to skate well.”

Aberdeen watched as William extended his head. “Come on,” he said. “I’ll teach you.”

“Will—”

“Think of it this way,” he began. “If you fall and crack your head open, you’ll probably suffer memory loss and forget who I am.”

Aberdeen snorted and laughed out loud. She needed to hand it to William – he knew how to calm her down and diffuse any stress. “You’re the worst, Will,” she chuckled out.

“I know I am. Now come on.”

Aberdeen took his hand and stepped onto the ice gingerly. William pulled her away from the edge of the rink slowly. “Okay, bend your knees,” he began. “You can’t skate with tight legs.”

For an almost embarrassingly long time, William taught Aberdeen the basic ins and outs of skating. He was patient with her as he skated back and forth with her, pushing and pulling her along. He’d grab her if she tripped, wrapped his arms around her if she almost slipped and fell, and tried to make her laugh as much as possible. Jason would join in sometimes, holding her other hand as he and William pulled her along. Jennifer and Bee acted like her own personal cheerleaders. Eventually, she got the hang of it, able to skate around without having her hands out to balance her and with the ability to turn along the edges. Morgan skated by and joked she was going to replace William on the line with John. The smile on her face and giggle in her voice could light up the night sky.

For William, it was the best part of the night by far.

***

Brendan was so happy that everybody was having fun; so happy to see the smiles on people’s faces as they skated around the rink, running into each other like bumper cars and taking group pictures. He loved seeing the comradery of his team outside the rink – the comradery of his entire organization outside of the offices. The Christmas party was a huge success, and he couldn’t be happier.

As he leaned his forearms down against the boards outside the rink, he watched everybody having a good time. A few of the players skated by to have a quick chat. Auston came first, then Jason and Freddie Gauthier together.

“What a great party!” William smiled as he skated up to him, looking out at everyone having fun on the ice.

Brendan nodded his head. “We’re lucky Dani invited us and did all this for us. Much better than some stuffy dinner, I think.”

“Definitely,” William agreed, nodding his head.

Brendan nodded his head too, following William’s line of sight. Aberdeen was posing with Bee McTavish, Aryne Tavares, and Courtney Muzzin. Brendan smiled. “Be careful, William.”

William’s brows furrowed at his words as he turned to look at him. “Sir?”

“She can’t do anything with you until she leaves,” Brendan said, standing upright. “And you can’t do anything with her.”

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the-lost-media-blog · 3 years

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Saki Sanobashi/Go for a Punch (Warning: Mentions of violence and suicide)

Alright, the first post for my new blog. Teach, if you’re reading this than hi :). Okay, lets get started!

Go For A Punch (also known as Saki Sanobashi) is a supposed lost anime that is speculated to have been made in either the 80′s or early 90′s that only have a sub available.

The first mention of Saki is on a 4-Chan comment on a post in 2015 asking about what was the most messed up thing found on the Deep Web. The comment in question said that they (the one who told the internet about this and will be called OP) they found the Deep Web. OP went on to describe how, in 2011 they found a subbed anime OVA called, at least on the site, ‘Go For A Punch’. In it, they described what it was about, so here’s the brief description:

Nine girls are trapped inside of a bathroom with no way out, they have debates over whether or not they’re going to get out. After days of starving, and being naked for some reason (honestly idk either), all of them commit suicide by either bashing their heads in against the floor/clawing at their throats, with one girl with a bright -almost white- hime cut being drowned by another girl in the sink because she couldn’t do it herself. ( below is a reference image of the hair cut.)

The OP mentions that it was 80′s-ish in quality, most girls had short bushy brown hair (there was also the hime cut girl who might have white hair, there’s a red-head and apparently a blonde?), the eyes were small and far apart, strange camera angels, a scream that sounded like the scream Dies Irae from Stanly Kubrick’s The Shinning, the player on the site is similar to the modern Bing Player, and that there really wasn’t any music. People questioned OP as the whole thing sounded interesting, and defiantly stood out from the troll and basic ‘I saw real gore’ posts. One of these comments is where the name Saki Sanobashi came from.

The search went on for 5 years as of when I’m writing this, blowing up after YouTuber Whang posted a video on November 21, 2019 as apart of his ‘Tales From The Internet’ series, which brought more attention to it as part one has 779k views at the current time of writing.

One thing I would like to note is that many people have claimed to have seen Saki, some going into details that OP didn’t list, but sadly the majority of those posts have been proven false, with one admitting that their lie was only made to show how gullible people are, and will believe that anything’s Saki.

Many people were hoping to find this lost anime, one person made a series where they go over manga/anime to see if it’s Saki (the series is on YouTube with a least 50 parts). There has been many false leads, one of which includes the profile pic I’m using claiming the girl was from Saki, but it’s not. Another reason for why the search got crazy was because of all the gore filled anime from back then. Like seriously, there’s a lot there some are more known than others. Also, side note, Saki Sanobashi/Go For A Punch has it’s own TV Tropes page, which is how you know it got big.

But on December 22, 2019 someone claiming to be OP made a post on one of the many sub-reddits.

They said that they made it all up for laughs since they thought the creator of the original 4-Chan thread was an idiot for expecting a serious answer, and OP’s coming forward since they feel bad for how crazy this all had gotten. Their proof was screen shots of the hime girl (which is above and why I chose it) and a book spine which was OP’s pic for the very first post on 4-chan, both screenshots dated for 2015, as well as the Bing player, and the Dies Irae scream.

Now, many people, like myself, are assuming that this OP might not be the real OP. One of the main reasons being why would they still hold onto those specific images, for nearly 4 years at that point, if it was for a troll post. This OP said it’s because they don’t delete downloaded pics, which sound off to me. I will delete pics on my phone if I don’t see a reason to keep it (example: I’ll keep a pic of the Halloween Timeline so I can keep track of which films are on which timeline, but delete a screenshot from a BuzzFeed quiz). But, never the less, some people gave up on the search, leading one of the sub-reddits to become nothing but memes, and the other ones had to pick up the slack.

One group on the sub-reddit is claiming to be making the OVA themselves under the title Team Saki, the trailer’s on YouTube so I suggest that you look it up yourself. I’ve also heard of a possible Visual Novel being made of Saki on one of the sub-reddits. Also, there’s tons of fanart of Saki out there, so if you wanna see how some see it then go ahead search if you want to, there’s a whole sub-reddit dedicated just to artwork. On TikTok, there’s plenty of lovely cosplays as well.

Another thing I feel like mentioning is that there’s a music video made by a J-Pop (Japanese Pop) group, that some people claim is inspired by Saki. I kind of see that, I mean, the art shown at the start looks 80′s-ish, and there are some basic similarities. But, that being said, I’m betting it’s all a coincidence, and we have no clue what the Lost Media scene is like in Japan as Lost Media is different in every country (as the Lost Media ice-burg, made in Spanish, has shown). I’ve Googled if it was, and I’ve seen some sites claim that, but I’m sticking with it’s a coincidence until there’s an official claim from the band themselves to confirm the inspiration so I’m not going by word of mouth.

Here’s the music video if you wanna check it out and there’s also (fake) blood as well as a suicide scene in it, so just to let you know so you’re not caught off guard when it happens. They stay dressed though, with only the pantyhose getting cut. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kBK33DvIoM

So as of when I’m writing, all we have is the mentioned teaser, concept art on the sub-reddit for both the animation and visual novel, an odd half live-action half drawn recreation clip made October 30, 2019. As well as just loads of dead ends. Some people hope that if we find it, or at the very least Team Saki turns out good or it leads to the real deal comes out because of something like a copyright claim or something.

I personally believe that it could exist some where out there, but maybe under a different name and somewhat buried on the internet. I meant if something that was banned such as Shoujo Tsukubki can find it’s way onto YouTube (aka the Surface Web/ Clear net) then it’s honestly possible it’s out there.

Either that or I just wasted your time with reading about something that might not even exist, so here have a kitty!

GO FOR A PUNCH/SAKI’S CURRENT STATUS: Existence unconfirmed, but fan projects are being made.

#lost media #go for a punch #saki sanobashi #internet stories #first post for the blog #tw violence #tw suicide mention #internet things

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veliseraptor · 3 years

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2020 Fanfiction Round-Up

I do one of these every year! And have since I think 2016. Can’t break a tradition even if it’s been a clusterfuck of a time and filling this out was in some ways an exercise in remembering the ways I have failed myself as a writer this year.

But oh well!

Total Year-Long Wordcount: I’ll post the final final number tonight after I finish the writing I want to do this afternoon (and plan to do this afternoon), but it’s currently 451,803 words written this year. Guessing I’m going to land somewhere around 453,000ish. (AO3 claims a higher number than that but that’s because it is counting the entirety of fics where I posted chapters this year.

This year I wrote and posted: I wrote a fair number more than I posted (there are five fics finished but for various reasons unposted on my hard drive) but based on Tumblr I posted 78 posts in my fic tag, which, not including chapter specific updates and three sentence meme answers (but including at least two Tumblr-only longer fics), probably comes out to about 60 or so “full length” fics that saw the light of day in 2020.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

Well, I wrote more than I did last year, which is sort of a surprise to me (all things considered) but also maybe not, because I was doing a lot less of most other things that could’ve been occupying my time, including two hours daily of commuting.

But still less than I did in 2018. Which is fine.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?

Lord, I don’t know. It depends on when you ask me. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a “I hate everything I’ve written ever” state of mind, so that makes it sort of hard to do any kind of...reasonable assessment.

I know I’m proud of With Absolute Splendor but I have all these reservations about it and I can’t reread it for the most part because I always notice new things I wish I’d done differently. I feel pretty good about efforts in a common cause but something about it still makes me cringe, which I suspect has to do with my general self-consciousness. I have a hard time feeling unreservedly proud about...anything I wrote this year, really.

I feel like the closest I get is maybe nor autumn falter which I am pretty pleased with and also which does hurt me a lot personally. Or I did end up overall pretty pleased with what came out of By Proxy.

But also the more I look at this question the more I start hating all my own work, so...guess this is kind of coming at a bad time.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I mean, I started writing in my first non-English fandom in many years, and specifically one where I was trying to engage more with the cultural background of the setting (in a way I wasn’t with, say, Death Note, when I was writing Death Note fic). So that was a risk. And I learned that it’s very stressful and there’s so many ways to make mistakes and I am, in many ways, a coward. But also I think I’ve learned a fair amount thanks to a lot of very patient people on the internet, so...there’s that.

Otherwise...I mean, I got ambitious with a few projects this year (the Big Bang fic and With Absolute Splendor stand out), but I’m not sure how much I really tried new things.

I feel like I had to fight myself a little on writing straight up bad sex for By Proxy - I planned on it being hot, and it really wasn’t. It was mostly just miserable. Which made for a better fic, but was a new experience for me as far as ‘I thought I was going to write porn and that isn’t what I wrote.’

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year:

By far, With Absolute Splendor. In fact, it has now become my second most kudosed fic of all time, behind only fuckin Life in Reverse. So like. That’s a thing.

(It is still less than half as many as Life in Reverse, but for context Life in Reverse has been around for going on eight years.)

Most fun story to write:

Most fics where I feel like “I’m having so much fun writing this!” also go through a “oh god I hate this it’s terrible” phase which makes this sort of hard to assess. But I did have overall a lot of fun writing Mutual Friends despite all my frustration with the canon-wrangling I had to do to make it work in my head.

But also I feel like both Retributive Justice and Embedded were in different ways deeply iddy fics that were just fun to write. That actually goes for a lot of the Whumptober fics. That was a very self-indulgent month. Excited to do it again in February (hopefully, if I can write things in a timely manner at all).

Story with the single sexiest moment:

I feel like the beauty of your repair might be my personal favorite smut I posted this year, but I think my personal favorite that I wrote is in the big bang fic nobody will see until January.

I feel like most of the sexiest moments I’ve written this year are in the porn fics I’m going to start posting in January also. But just generally I feel like the beauty of your repair is the sexiest thing I wrote and posted.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

I mean, I Come With Knives is definitely up there. It’s not that wrong or anything, but it got pretty intense in some ways I wasn’t expecting. Mostly in how much blood got involved, which was actually more than I’d had it involved in a sex thing before! Kind of surprises me that I haven’t previously done more with bloodplay stuff but. Well. First time for everything!

I don’t think this was a year that really had any “wow, what the fuck, Lise” things in it. Nothing on the level of last year’s winner. I’m almost disappointed in myself.

Abattoir was definitely the story that generated the weirdest conversation and creepiest search questions, though, so it does get points for that.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

I feel like the writing of everyone else is spring bound was a lot of...me thinking through my Jiang Cheng feelings and specifically my Jiang Cheng post-canon feelings.

the martyr, the victim was pretty formative in shaping how I think about both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and their relationship with each other. It was the first fic I wrote that really dug into them in any way, I think, and definitely one that informed how I thought about writing Lan Xichen later.

Hardest story to write:

I was thinking it was the one that I haven’t posted yet but I did technically finish, aka my Big Bang fic, the terrible threesome fic, the massive “I’m gonna keep everyone in the Yi City arc alive” AU that I started shortly after finishing The Untamed and finished in December. So I spent most of the year writing it.

But then I was like - no, I’m going to have to go with we live until we die even though it’s technically been ‘in progress’ for five years and really kicked into gear in 2019 and I just finished it and posted it this year, because that fic was like. The culmination of a big arc in an enormous verse dealing with a whole lot of balls in the air and trying to tie up a whole lot of threads. It was ambitious and the stakes were high and it was full of plot and action which are not two of my strengths...frankly I’m still amazed I pulled the damn thing off.

Biggest Disappointment:

I think it is better if I refrain from going too in depth on this because it would just end up as me listing a bunch of my perceived failings. But I think off the top of my head I’m frustrated by the fact that I still haven’t really managed to write a XueXiao smut fic that quite hits the spot for me, myself. I’ve written two and for various reasons I don’t really like either of them.

Biggest Surprise:

The fact that my Jiang Cheng fic took off the way it did. Legitimately did not see that coming! At all! I mean, I’m delighted by it but it wasn’t what I saw happening as far as “niche I’d find in this fandom” or “thing I’d write that people would really enjoy reading.”

Particularly with By Proxy. That fic got a lot more attention than I would’ve expected.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:

I feel like every fic I write with Xue Yang in it tells you something about me and most of those things are things that make me, on some level, deeply self-conscious, but I try not to think about that too much.

I feel like the most telling story is maybe we all drift sometimes because I literally wrote it out of a depressive episode about a bad brain day but that wasn’t unintentional.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. So it turned out that if you touched the tendons of a dead person’s wrist and channeled a little bit of spiritual energy just right, it made the fingers twitch and curl like they were still alive. (Abattoir)

2. Here’s the thing: your Daozhang is glorious when he kills. (tear out all your tenderness)

3. Turned out that a sect leader’s head came off like anyone else’s. (Unnatural Selection)

4. The first hint that anything had gone awry was the letter from Lan Wangji (His Excellency Hanguang-jun, pardon me) that simply said have you heard from Wei Ying? (some good mistakes)

5. What Jiang Cheng wanted to do, more than anything, was to go home and take a nap. (everyone else is spring bound)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

I usually keep this to 10 but because I’ve been in such a :| place about my own writing I indulged myself this once.

1. Sometimes it felt like all he had done since descending the mountain was shatter his own dreams and accumulate regrets. (nor autumn falter)

2. It felt like she was holding all the components of a bomb in her hands, half assembled. If she moved the right way they would stay just that: components. But if she moved the wrong way… (til my judgment day)

3. He should have killed him. Should have been the one to strike that blow, in revenge for Jin Zixuan and their sister and everyone else dead for Wei Wuxian’s pride. Maybe then there would not be this gnawing, aching thing embedded in his chest; this itching, unfinished feeling. Maybe then he would not feel torn in two, sometimes like he should have reached out with his other hand and sometimes like he should have struck truer and sometimes both, in the same moment. (Interstitial)

4. He owed Wei Wuxian more than he could ever give back in this lifetime. Forgiving him felt like betraying his sister’s memory. Not forgiving him felt like trying to walk with a thorn in his foot. He was just - stuck, caught like a demon in a spiritual net.

Jiang Cheng thought of the way Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, with warmth and trust and love, and the aching, sick jealousy he had no right to feel returned. He felt a little like a child watching someone pick up a toy he’d abandoned and suddenly realizing that he wanted it back. (everyone else is spring bound)

5. You close your eyes and think about how he looked back in that town, Shuanghua slicing clean through a man’s neck, opening it to the spine, and think dizzily that he could open you like that and it’d be good, as long as it lasted. (tear out all your tenderness)

6. When Wangji loved, he loved with his whole being, without reserve. And now he had been placed between the rock of his convictions and the hard place of his devotion to Wei Wuxian. (the martyr, the victim)

7. He spent a week turning the idea over in his head. Studying it like a corpse he was going to dissect, poking at it, cutting it open and examining its insides. (dead reckoning)

8. When the world hurt you, that was the only thing to do, after all. Hurt it back, harder, worse. Spill rivers of blood for every drop it squeezed from you.

And when the end came, never go quietly. (the blood in your mouth)

9. I would stand with you through the end of the world, said Loki’s voice in his head, and Steve’s heart wasn’t in his chest anymore, was somewhere off on another planet where Loki was lying dead in a ruined city. (we live until we die)

10. Was it always going to be like this? Stumbling into traps, tripping over familiar skeletons, slicing himself open on the edges of old hurts. Was there really such a thing as leaving the past behind? He still felt stuck in it, unable to move, and every time he thought he might be finally dragging himself free something pulled him back. (With Absolute Splendor)

11. His chest was full of poison. His throat was full of grief. And he was still a little drunk.

Jiang Cheng went to his room, sat down on his bed, put his face in his hands, and cried until he couldn’t breathe. (By Proxy)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

I think the scene from nor autumn falter of Xiao Xingchen just crying his heart out over Xue Yang’s dead body would be up there.

The Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian hug from the end of With Absolute Splendor.

Okay, just gonna say it: Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao having sex by the table with Nie Mingjue’s headless corpse on it. So sue me.

The scene in the blood in your mouth where Song Lan has stabbed Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen is following the line of Fuxue to the latter. I have a very clear visual of it in my head and if I could art I’d art it.

Xue Yang with the hallucinatory Xiao Xingchen from liberate spirits, liberate souls.

Fic-writing goals for 2021:

Finish Walking Far From Home.

Maybe I’ll finish some of these MCU WIPs? I’d kind of like to, on an abstract level if nothing else.

Become a more well-adjusted human being about the relationship between my productivity and my self-worth.

#fanfiction round up #confessions of a frustrated writer #you'll get my fun statistical analysis nonsense later

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pucking-insane · 4 years

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Barefoot Cinderella - Quinn Hughes

Player: Quinn Hughes (VAN) Word Count: 1973 Warnings: There might be one curse word, but other than that nothing!

Every morning I wake up to find I always dream the same

Every night I come to my window when you call my name

I love the way the words you say just fall like rain

‘Til I’m drowning in the sound of your invitation

It was a widely known fact in the world of the NTDP that you and Quinn Hughes were head over heels for one another. Having met when you were just fifteen and sixteen when your parents took two of the NTDP’s players your sophomore and junior year of high school, you and Quinn had been friends for almost a year now.

The two of you just clicked. Even though you were a whole year younger than him, you got along great. And to be honest, you had a huge crush on him. All of your friends at school made fun of you for it, but you had fallen for your best friend.

You were up late one night, studying for a history test, when there was a knock on your window.

You looked up from your textbook and took out your earbuds, resting them on the desk in your room. You glanced out the window to see none other than Quinn Hughes, crouching in the tree outside your window.

“Quinn?” You asked softly as you opened your window, the cool September air blowing into your bedroom.

“Hey.” He smiled.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You whisper-shouted. “It’s nearly midnight.”

“Just trust me.” Quinn said, extending his hand to you. “We’re going somewhere. Grab a sweatshirt.”

You obeyed reluctantly, pulling one of Quinn’s USA hockey sweatshirts you had stolen over your head. You climbed out of the window and onto the little roof that jutted out below your window, leaving it open just a crack so you could sneak back in when you got back.

“Where are we going?” You asked as the two of you shimmied down the tree, trying not to rustle the branches too much and wake your parents or billet brothers.

“You’ll see.” Quinn jumped to the ground, wiping his hands on his jeans.

He led you in the direction of the park of your neighborhood as you walked. The September air was cool and the wind slightly rustled the trees of the neighborhood. The sky was dark, the sun having set hours ago, and clouds covered the moon.

When you ask “Do you want to dance, my barefoot Cinderella?

Don’t need no slippers or a party dress

The way you’re looking right now’s what I like the best.”

And then you’ll say “Do you want to take a chance

And stay with me forever

No one will ever be more beautiful

My barefoot, barefoot Cinderella.”

After walking for ten or so minutes, you had arrived at the neighborhood park, just as you had suspected.

“What are we doing out here?” You asked as Quinn sat down on a park bench.

“Enjoying the evening.” Quinn sighed.

“Quinn, I have a history test on Monday, it’s after midnight on a Sunday morning.” You explained.

“I know.” Quinn smiled at you, eyes twinkling. “I just wanted to spend time with my best friend.”

“Ok.” You sighed, sitting down beside Quinn, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I remember when we first met.” Quinn said out of the blue after a few moments of silence. “You were wearing a UMich hoodie and your hair was tied in a ponytail. It was a function for all the billet families and you didn’t look too happy.”

You giggled, recalling the memory. Your family had been housing hockey boys for years, since you were two, and every year it was the same story.

“You looked beautiful.” Quinn smiled. “And since I’ve known you, you’ve only become more stunning.”

Your jaw dropped. Did Quinn actually like you back?

“Which is why I have fallen for you.” Quinn sighed. “Why I can’t stop thinking about you. Why I’m always smiling.”

“Quinn, I-”

“And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, I just needed to get that off my chest.” Quinn sighed, running his hands through his dark hair.

Instead of responding with words, you turned your head to look at Quinn and leaned in, closing the distance between the two of you. The kiss wasn’t anything to write home about. It was short and sweet, but the meaning behind it was everything.

As you pulled away, a smile tugged at your lips and your cheeks turned a lovely shade of crimson.

“Dance with me.” Quinn smiled as he stood up and reached for your hand.

“You’re going to be the death of me, Quinn Hughes.” You giggled.

“I know that next fall I’ll be at UMich and who knows where after that, but do you want to take a chance and be my girlfriend?” Quinn asked as you swayed.

“I would love nothing more.” You smiled.

A dream world is always perfect, but that’s not my real life

Wish you did, bu you don’t know the me I am inside

I pray that you come looking, and I won’t hide

I’ll be smiling when you find me

‘Cause I’ve been waiting

Flash forward three years to 2019.

The past year at UMich was wonderful. You and Quinn had enjoyed being together in Ann Arbor, you going to his games, and him just being able to spend time with you before he went out to Vancouver.

But, all good things must come to an end.

Quinn had left for Vancouver for his first full season with the Canucks. You were stuck in Ann Arbor, 2500 miles away from the love of your life.

And yes, the “L word” had been used since almost the beginning of your relationship with Quinn. Nobody said that the distance would be easy, and it wasn’t. But luckily, the distance wouldn’t be as big for the second semester of your sophomore year.

You had been accepted as a transfer student at the University of British Columbia, which was right in the heart of Vancouver. You honestly couldn’t have been more excited.

“Come on, Q, pick up!” You sighed as you tried to FaceTime your boyfriend.

“Hey, what’s up?” Quinn asked as the call finally connected.

“I wanted to tell you something.” You said with a smile.

“Ok?” Quinn looked confused. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

“Oh good lord no.” You laughed. “I got accepted as a transfer to UBC!”

Quinn’s lips curled up into a smile as you held up your acceptance packet so Quinn could see it.

“I’m so happy for you!”

“So, do you need a roommate?” You giggled.

“I would love a roommate.” Quinn blushed.

In late December, you and your parents drove your stuff up to Vancouver, where you would be living with your boyfriend until the hockey season was over.

It took a long time for you, your parents, and Quinn to get all of your stuff, but once you did, the apartment looked great. It no longer looked like Quinn’s bachelor pad you had visited a few times. It looked like a home, with pictures and decor that made it feel warm.

When you ask “Do you wanna dance, my barefoot Cinderella?

Don’t need no slippers or a party dress

The way you’re looking right now’s what I like the best.”

And then you’ll say “Do you want to take a chance

And stay with me forever?

No one will ever be more beautiful,

My barefoot, barefoot Cinderella.”

The first night you and Quinn spent together in your apartment was relatively quiet.

You needed to go to the grocery store and were lacking in food, so the two of you ordered pizza from Quinn’s favorite place. After the two of you finished your pizza and nice conversation, Quinn turned on a movie on Disney+, knowing how much you enjoyed your “High School Musical” days.

“Take my hand, take a breath, pull me close, and take one step. Keep your eyes locked on mine and let the music be your guide.” Gabriella sang in the middle of the third movie.

“Dance with me.” Quinn smiled as he stood up and threw off the blanket. You smiled at your boyfriend as you stood up and took his hand. “You look beautiful.”

“Beautiful? Really?” You asked as you swayed to the music of the movie.

“The way you’re looking right now is what I like the best.” Quinn smiled. “It’s who you are on the inside.”

“Well thank you.” You smiled, leaning your head on his chest. “And for the record, I like you the best this way too.”

“I can’t believe we’re living together.” Quinn sighed. “The start of the rest of our lives.”

“Yeah.” You giggled. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Quinn leaned down and pressed a soft and sweet kiss on your lips.

When I close my eyes it starts

Like a movie for my heart

Here comes my favorite part

When you ask “Do you wanna dance, my barefoot Cinderella?

Don’t need no slippers or a party dress,

You’re what I like the best.”

And then you’ll say “Do wanna take a chance,

And stay with me forever?

No one will ever be more beautiful, Cinderella”

A few years had passed since you and Quinn had moved in together in Vancouver. You were still madly in love as when you had started dating almost five years ago.

“Good morning, gorgeous.” Quinn smiled as the two of you woke up the Saturday morning of your first week of vacation in Lake Louise.

“Hi.” You giggled.

“You ready for our day at the Lake today?” Quinn asked as he sat up in bed. “We’re going to have a photoshoot by the lake.”

“Oh fun.” You smiled before getting up and going to the bathroom.

You got dressed in a cute crop top and a pair of jean shorts, paired with your air forces. Your hair was curled in a half up half down style, with a floral scrunchie matching everything.

“You look beautiful.” Quinn said as he sat on the bed, wearing a t-shirt, jean shorts, and a baseball cap. “No one could look more beautiful than you.”

“You don’t look half bad yourself.” You smirked. “You ready to go?”

Quinn nodded before standing up and taking your hand in his.

You met the photographer by the lake. The view was absolutely stunning. The water was a gorgeous teal and the mountains made the perfect backdrop.

You and Quinn took some cute photos standing on the shoreline before the photographer let the two of you come up with your own photos.

You had lost your shoes a little while ago, just letting your feet sit bare.

“Dance with me, barefoot Cinderella.” Quinn said with a wide smile.

You swayed back and forth to the music in your hearts.

“I love you, you know that right?” Quinn asked.

“You tell me all the time.” You smiled up at your boyfriend. You could close your eyes and see him as the fifteen year old you met at the billet event, as a high school graduate in his cap and gown, as the seventh overall pick in his draft day suit. Events you were there with him as his girlfriend.

“Which is why,” Quinn pulled away from the slow dance, dipping to one knee and pulling a ring box out of his pocket. “I wanted to know if you’d take a chance and stay with me forever. If you’d make me the happiest man on Earth and marry me?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes.” You cried, tears streaming down your face. “Yes I’ll marry you.”

“I love you.”

“To the moon and back.��

Quinn slipped the ring on your finger before standing up to kiss you. The love of your life. Your fiancé.

#quinn hughes #quinn hughes x reader #vancouver canucks #quinny #hockey #Hockey Players #hockey imagines

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gladiatortale · 3 years

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My DEPRESSION BEATING, fandom obsessing, shit-tastic FANTASTIC year in review!

TL;DR: I’m fixing my mental health and figuring out WHO THE FUCK I AM one fandom filled day at a time! Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me along the way. xoxo

what’s up HEATHENS.

stating the goddamn obvious here, it’s been a HELLUVA YEAR. One emotional rollercoaster after another but we’re ALMOST DONE. I know things aren’t gonna magically get better the second it flips to 00:01 on January first, but I’m excited to put this year behind me, and (SHOCKINGLY) a bit sad to see it go.

It was a year where the whole world completely stopped, we realized what is really important, what is really worth fighting for, and took a GODDAMN SECOND to just breathe.

For me personally, the year (which I’m counting off from November 1st) started out UNBELIEVABLY SHIT. I had just been kicked out of the country I called home for the last four years (thank you Brexit), I had ZERO job prospects, my depression was the WORST it had ever been, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. And in the beginning, the pandemic felt like salt in the wound, an extra kick in the teeth to my early twenties that had already “failed to launch.”

But I tried to embrace the madness, really take advantage of the world (that I always thought moved to fast) properly slowing down, and take time to try and become myself again. I wanted to figure out what I loved and try and become a bit more like the person I was before my depression got so bad.

I often say I became that Manic Trash Planet Lady™ you see in sci-fi adventure films; a bit zany to say the least, with a million ideas and a very eclectic fashion sense, but embracing the insanity as it comes...

*cough cough* audrey, get to the goddamn point!

Right. lol. THE POINT IS!

I’m not 100% “healed”, I’m not sure if I think depression is a “oh look you’re officially cured! hooray!” type of disease, but this year I let myself ENJOY SHIT for the first time in god knows how long. I still don’t know “wHaT i WaNt To dO WiTh mY LiFe”, but I’ve got a better idea and I’m heading in (what feels like) the right direction. And most of all, I can look back and say I am better than where I was a year ago.

So I wanted to say T H A N K Y O U to the mad lads on this website that introduced me to the fandoms, shows, movies, fics... THE SHIT that made me happy this year and were there to be one (BIG) piece in my healing journey.

AND SO, with out further rambling ADO! Here are the highlights of the year marked by my ridiculous hyper-fixations and OBSESSIONS. Thanks for putting up with me ya fiends, xoxox

November 2019 The Arcana (Visual Novel)

I had just gotten home and I was in a LOOOOOOW place. Randomly decided to download this app when it came up and it proceeded to ruin my life (and my bank account...) for pretty much the rest of the year. It was exactly what I needed to get me through a tough time and I was thoroughly, horse-blinders-up-to-the-rest-of-the-world, OBSESSED. These gorgeous magical fiends ruined me and all I could say was thank you.

Joined the fandom: November 2019 Obsession peaked: Late November Obsession faded: December 2019; I started a new job AND my bank statement came in and I realized I had accidentally spent over SIXTY BUCKS on this stupid app. No ragrets, but I definitely started to phase out at that point. Fandom friends: Velma, (@lanavxds on insta) miss you girlie xx Fanfics you NEED to read: ‘Second Mistake’ by DeathBelle on AO3, because DAAAAAYUM SON. Favourite moments: Basically the whole of the Julian arc. That gangly himbo OWNED my ass for a month.

December 2019 Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Y’ALL okay here me out. Am I proud of this one? No. Is the show crass as hell? OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH. Did my angsty ass love it at the end of last year? DAMN STRAIGHT IT DID. Goes without saying, but this is NOT FOR EVERYBODY, but it definitely helped me along the way to becoming more comfortable with myself and being open about being the massive geek that I always was, and watching things I enjoy regardless of what people say about it.

Joined the fandom: December 2019 Obsession peaked: Shortly there after. Fandom friends: None. Dipped one toe in fandom discourse and then promptly YEETED the fuck outta there. Obsession faded: January 2019. Still curious to see the full series if A24 actually ever does produce the whole thing, but I have def moved away from it. Fanfics you NEED to read: Haven’t read any. Maybe I’m a pussy baby piece-o-shit, but I DID NOT want to go down that rabbit hole, NO MA’AM. Favourite moments:

Discovering the Hunicast podcast. These guys are a riot and Ashley is a flustered GEM. Even if you don’t watch the show, go watch an episode of these fucking LADS just dicking about and your day will get better.

Watching the first episode with my partner and watching him realize his girlfriend is a total freak.

January 2020 Lore Olympus (Webtoon Comic)

*Officially* discovered this one thanksgiving weekend in 2019, but my Arcana phase was still raging pretty strong at that point so I didn’t really get in to it until later. EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHER NEEDS TO READ IT. It has everything and handles the reality sexual assault and it’s aftermath EXTREMELY well.

Joined the fandom: Late November 2019 Obsession peaked: January 2020 Fandom friends: KELLEY. MA GIRL XOXOXO Obsession faded: June-ish 2020. I’m like 10 chapters behind now, but I still love this story so much. Fanfics you NEED to read: SO MANY ON MY ‘MARKED FOR LATER’ LIST AAAAAH. I have to get to that... NEW YEARS RESOLUTION lol Favourite moments: Having a drunk conversation on New Years Eve in 2019 with one of my oldest friends from high school about how much she loved it too. Helped me see how popular fandom and fandoms, are especially after feeling like I needed to hide my enthusiasm through high school and uni. (THAT WAS A MISTAKE BUT I’LL GET THERE IN A MINUTE).

February 2020 Versailles (TV Series)

SO FUCKING GAY Y’ALL. Oh my god everyone in this show is so gay. Even when they’re not they still are a little bit. AND BEST OF ALL!! it’s very historically accurate (except for the demon satanic nonsense in season 3, what was that???)

Joined the fandom: February 2020 Obsession peaked: Like??? The SECOND I finished episode one. Fandom friends: none... WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU??? Obsession faded: March 2020. It was a fast and passionate love affair, what can I say? Fanfics you NEED to read: IF YOU HAVE RECS, GIVE ‘EM TO MEEEEE. Favourite moments:

Showing the first episode to a friend of mine and the *ungodly GASP* that came out of her throat was... PRICELESS.

The ENTIRE throuple(???) relationship between the Chevalier, Philipe, and Palatine. PLATONIC/ ROMANTIC LOVE G O A L S.

March 2020 Yuri!!! On Ice (TV Series)

*deep breath* ...y’all knew this one was coming.

Was I ready for this show to ruin my fucking life? No. Am I so glad it happened??? FUCK YEAH.

NEVER IN MY LIFE have I fallen off the deep end so quickly with a fandom. HOLY SHIT. This blog didn’t have much of an “identity” before, but I you said that this is a Yuri On Ice blog now I wouldn’t even be mad (nor could I really defend myself to the contrary... bc??? like??? just go LOOK at my archive). Craziest thing is I watched the first two episodes like?? a solid TWO YEARS ago, but I didn’t continue watching because I was just not in the right head space for all the love and silliness and positivity.

I could do a whole separate post about how much this show and how this fandom has changed my life (DON’T TEMPT ME I JUST MIGHT). But I’ll stick with the highlights for now ;)

Joined the fandom: March 2020 Obsession peaked: Has it peaked?? Went straight up and it still going lol Fandom friends: Sandra, my mentor, my queen @aeriamamaduck, my fandom ride-or-die. Thank you for taking this internet bby under your wing. RACHEL @idancewiththefairies I TRAPPED YOU HERE. MUAHAHAHA xxx Obsession faded: ON GOING. CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP. Fanfics you NEED to read: jfc, SO MANY.

‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’ and ‘Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Rivals AU companion pieces. Longest fics I’ve ever read and JESUS CHRIST these two fucking SENT ME. Most popular YOI fics on AO3 for a REASON.

‘Tell Me Where Your Love Lies’ by @aeriamamaduck -- Royalty AU, trope-breaking ABO. Ah sweet, TMWYLL, how you’ve killed me over and over again. This BEAUTIFUL wip has SUCH amazing world-building idk where to start (Congrats on passing 50,000 hits!) EVERYONE GO READ IT.

‘Blackbird’ by sixpences -- WWII/Coldwar Spy Fic. I don’t have enough words to describe how amazing this is. It’s elevated to a higher plane beyond fanfic. Just go read it. Thank me later.

‘Zanka’ by rinsled05 @dreaming-fireflies -- The geisha fic that ruined me. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH *gasp* I’m fine. lol I sooooo not ready for this fic. Holy hell, Aoyagi had my heart in his hands from the first chapter. “’Please’ [...] ‘Don’t give me hope.’“ FUUUUCK.

‘Echoes’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Future fic. First fic I cried at... BOI. I was NOT ready for this. Shouldn’t be surprised given the author, but MAN. “‘A love like that, a love like what they had together, it never leaves completely.’ Yuri spoke again, eyes still staring out onto the ice, lost in memory. ‘There are always echoes.’” JUST FUCK ME UP.

Favourite moments: Oh good lord, where do I begin??

Having two (count ‘em TWO) main characters with mental health issues (Yuuri and his anxiety and Victor with burn out and depression) and NOT MAKING IT THE ONLY ASPECT OF THEIR PERSONALITY. CLAPS FOR KUBO AND YAMAMOTO!!

Everything about Yurio (ESPECIALLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YUUKO AND HIS GRANDPA), that tsundere motherfucker is too pure for this world.

THE KISS. THE PROPOSAL. MY HEART WASN’T READY. AAAAAH!!

This fandom *properly* introducing me to smut on AO3...

Thinking I was going to get Rachel to like the show... NOT being prepared for her to fall off the deep end and START LIKING REAL SKATING TOO!!

Staying up waaaaaay too late waaaaaay too often to plan out plot points for TMWYLL with Sandra. Love ya dearie.

The warm fuzzy feeling I get every time I think about Victor and Yuuri.

April 2020 Bungou Stray Dogs (TV Series)

I had a hunch I was gonna like this show considering ALL of the characters are based off of famous classic authors from around the world... what I was NOT prepared for was just HOW MUCH I was going to love it. HOLY SHIT. The art style? Love it. The plot?? Bonkers, but so fun. THE VOICE CAST??? AMAZING. Highly recommend to anyone who wants to get in to anime, great place to start.

Joined the fandom: April 2020 Obsession peaked: Probably this summer? But we have DEF plateaued in a VERY high place. Fandom friends: FIJI. MA BOIIIII @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Hope it doesn’t Fanfics you NEED to read: So so so many. The smut in this fandom is *chef’s kiss*, but here are a few...

‘He Works Hard For the Money’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019 -- Sugar Daddy AU. FUCK MAN. I was not expecting to like this one, but bloody hell. This fic grabbed me by the throat and WOULD NOT let me go. Praying for chapter 16! But the author is working on another STELLAR fic so I’m okay for now.

‘Everything or Nothing’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019 -- University AU. FUCK THIS FIC. Started reading it as I was waiting for HWHFTM to update and BOI, this fic ROCKS. The alternating POV fits so well with the enemies/idiots-to-lovers vibe. Solid 10 outta 10.

‘The City Where Wind Blows’ by @raven-rein -- Cancer Death fic. *pained shriek* AAAAAAGUUUUUUUHHHH *gasp* aaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, FUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK MEEEEE. THIS FIC. Only the second fic I’ve ever cried to but I BAWLED MY GODDAMN EYES OUT. FUUUUUUUCK. I was not ready, never would have been ready. This is so tremendously well done, it killed me so beautifully,

‘Haunted by Hatred’ by DeathBelle -- Canon compliant Soukoku. It is a CRIME that DeathBelle doesn’t have more BSD fics on her page, but this one is still brilliant.

Favourite moments:

THE CHUUYA-DAZAI MAFIA REUNION TEAM UP WHEN THEY FIGHT LOVECRAFT. Ooof. BOI. We love it.

The first three episodes. Soooo many break neck plot twists.

Every insane hypothetical conversation with Fiji.

Every time Atsushi or Tanizaki is on screen bc I LOVE THESE LIL BEANS.

June 2020 Trash Taste (Podcast)

Goddamn I love these chaotic lads so much.

As I became more and more comfortable with myself and my love for anime I stumbled upon these three goons, -- Joey, Connor, and Garnt, -- best known for there SUPER successful (mostly) anime YouTube channels. Even if you don’t watch anime, WATCH/LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST. The focus is mostly on their lives and the overall expat/immigrant experience, with a bit of anecdotal anime references sprinkled in.

This show is both wholesome and heathenous in equal measure, and after having lived abroad for a significant portion of my (admittedly still quite short) life, it was such a breath of fresh air to hear people talk so openly about how living outside your home country is both wonderful and terrifying. They’re wonderfully candid about the fact that even if you love a place dearly, no where is perfect, and you WILL hate somethings about your new home even if the majority of the experience is fantastic. I cannot rate this show highly enough.

Joined the fandom: June 5th 2020, loved it from the first episode. Obsession peaked: July maybe? I was RELIGIOUS about watching the episodes as soon as they came out. Still watch every week, but less “on time.” Fandom friends: None :( but I have tricked my partner in to listening several times :) Obsession faded: It’s dimmed from where it was, but still going strong. Fanfics you NEED to read: NONE. NEVER PLAN TO. Hard and fast rule, I don’t read fics about real people. Characters played by real people, even that’s a maybe for me. But real-real people? FUCK NO. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Any time Garnt and Connor get into a big-brain-monkey-brain argument and Joey is just LOSING his GODDAMN MIND in the corner.

Bringing a retired Japanese porn star in the show for an honest conversation about consensual sex work and showing people can have more than one career in life.

Everything about the, ‘Are Online Friends Real Friends?’ episode. GO WATCH IT, it’s brilliant.

Garnt making “chotto-THE-FUCKING-matte” an expression

August 2020 Great Pretender (TV Series)

Spent most of the summer marinating in my BSD and YOI bubbles, until THIS BAD BOI came up on my Netflix recommendations. HOOOO BOI. This is some Anime Of The Year shit right here. Has a pretty original concept (Catch Me If You Can by way of Oceans 11-ish) but generally starts out like most other shounen (sans the super powers). AND THEN EPISODE FIVE HAPPENS. Not gonna spoil it but they TOOK THAT SHIT UP A NOTCH. Brilliant, even with a bit of an insane ending. GO WATCH THIS ONE.

Joined the fandom: August 2020 Obsession peaked: Pretty much as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: What’s up Fiji ;) @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Naturally faded, but so glad I watched Fanfics you NEED to read: None so far! Little scared about this one, heard mixed reviews, but maybe someday. Favourite moments:

Edamame’s “madness arc” at the end of season 2. HOOOO BOY.

Laurent getting fucking WRECKED when Edamame punches him mid way through season 2, kills me every time.

Introducing my partner to anime with this show.

October 2020 Attack on Titan (TV Series)

RETURN OF THE KING. lol

In my quest to find an anime that I can watch with my partner, I turned on season 1 of this bad boi. Holy hell I forgot how much I loved this show, NO WONDER everyone lost their goddamn minds when this show first aired. I NEED to catch up before all the season four spoilers come to get me...

Joined the fandom: Winter 2016 Obsession peaked: Basically as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: None yet, but I know you’re out there... Obsession faded: 2017, JUST BEFORE SEASON TWO... I should have stuck around longer I know, but it’s slowly coming back. Reeeeeally need to catch up on seasons two, three, and four. Fanfics you NEED to read: GIVE ME YOUR RECS HEATHENS. Favourite moments:

Watching my partner FREAK OUT about Eren’s “death.”

EVERYTHING ABOUT POTATO GORL! lol

Getting in a conversation with a die hard fan after I hadn’t watched it in three years and saying... “Who’s that blond bitch that cries all the time?”/ “Armin?”/ “THAT’S THE ONE!”

November 2020... kind of. Figure Skating (Sport)

Okay this one is a bit hard to explain.

I have been a DIE HARD figure skating for A LOOOOOONG time. My grandmother got me a hat from the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City and I remember watching even then. But I first became consciously aware of different skaters, my faves, etc. from about 2010. I vividly remember watching Plushenko skating in 2014 while on a school trip to Hawaii, and my friends laughing at me as I yelled at the TV.

But I didn’t TRULY get involved in the fandom side of it until this year. I had all this knowledge bottled up, but didn’t have any skating friends to talk to... UNTIL NOW. Super ironic that this happened in a year with almost NO skating, but I’ll take what I can get ;) Also did I stay up until FOUR-GODDAMN-THIRTY IN THE MORNING a few nights ago to stream Japanese Nationals on my phone??? YOU BET I DID.

Joined the fandom: Three times; 2002, 2010, and 2020. Obsession peaked: 2014? 2018? Idk it peaks any time someone does something amazing. Fandom friends: Rachel, my girl @idancewiththefairies, WHY DIDN’T I INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS SOONER??? Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Won’t. lol Fanfics you NEED to read: NOPE. NONE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. No fanfics about real people. Never gonna change that. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir doing THAT routine at the 2018 Olympics.

Rachel sheepishly admitting to me that Shoma may have replaced Yuzu as her favourite, and me being SO DAMN PROUD of her for growing and developing her own skating opinions apart from me.

Yuzu’s 2012 ‘Romeo and Juliet’ routine and Worlds. THE RAW FUCKING POWER OF THAT SKATE.

Plushenko, cheeky bastard, changing his 2014 Team Event routine AS IT WAS HAPPENING.

The worlds friendliest rivalry between Yuzu and Nathan.

Any thing the Shibutani’s do, and all they do to break up the stereotype that all of Ice Dancing has to be rOmAnTiC and SeNsUaL to be good.

Watching my early faves become coaches and the D R A M A.

Honorable Mentions:

Coco (Film): I watched this the weekend I came home and I owe this movie a lot. It is so sweet an heartwarming, and it a roundabout way it brought me back to Tumblr (needed somewhere to vent my feelings considering I watched the movie a solid THREE YEARS after it came out, Tumblr seemed like the place to go lol). Watched in again in 2020 and it’s just as amazing.

Jekyll and Hyde (All media): Loved this book from the first time I read it in my first year of uni. But in December 2019, my fandom understanding reached its PEAK. The musical?? The comic?? YOOOOOO.

Dear Evan Hansen (Musical): I have BARELY engaged in fandom discourse, but the MUSIC. She fucking SLAPS.

Sirius the Jaeger (TV Series): This show is such an underrated gem. It literally has so much; "dead” family drama? Eclectic international group of monster hunters? Cowboys and vampires?? Yes, yes, and YES. And the main character has the same Japanese voice actor as Atsushi from BSD!

Studio Ghilbi (Films): My love affair with Ghibli goes back to when I was about 5 and BEGGED my mom to take me to the library so we could rent Kiki’s Delivery Service on DVD. But that love has been FULLY rejuvenated this year when I went to the Ghibli Film Festival in New York City (ironically in the last week in February). If you haven’t seen them, go watch From Up On Poppy Hill, Whisper of the Heart, and The Wind Rises. Spoilers, you’re probably gonna cry.

If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU FOR READING!

And thank you to all the amazing people that made my 2020 not so horrible. Good riddance 2020, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

#2020 #mental health #appreciation post #figure skating #studio ghibli #coco #attack on titan #great pretender #bungou stray dogs #trash taste #versailles tv #yuri!!! on ice #the arcana game #hazbin hotel #anime #fandom

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familyofpebbles · 3 years

Text

November 1st, 2021

Well, missed October. Oops. I was kind of waiting to see if you would have the time to write something, but you were super busy this month. You’ve been prepping for a board, Morales club, and rotation, haven’t had a real weekend almost all month, and had to sub in for two other squad leaders who had covid. So you understandably didn’t get around to this. Maybe this month. Either way, I’ll try to do another at the end of this one to make up for it.

My car has been out of commission- the brakes seized on our way back from Switzerland which is a whole other story. The parts are taking forever to get here so I’m beginning week three hitching rides with either you or Erika. Since I also happen to not be working until later these past weeks, it’s involved quite a lot of waiting around…in the break room or the café or the library. It’s honestly not the worst thing in the world. My productivity is certainly not high but I’ve been getting a lot of reading in! It’s easy to relax and enjoy it when there’s literally nothing else you could be doing. I finished Ain’t I a Woman by Bell Hooks, which Eliza and I were reading together. It was incredible. I have miles of notes and it prompted a lot of thinking which was great. And then I re-read The Secret Life of Bees which is still one of my all time favorites and burrows into my heart a little deeper every time. It really got me thinking this time how it’s such a dream to be able to live on some land, have a big garden and maybe some bees, care for some animals, and be a part of a community with lots of women. Grow food together and have fresh eggs and let our kids play together and even become a doula… just to be a useful part of a community and in tune with the earth and her cycles. Gently worship nature and thank luck and venerate ancestors. I want that life. I hope we can find our way there eventually. Maybe it’s the time to gather skills and habits to make that transition more of a real possibility when we get the opportunity.

This weekend we attended my first Halloween party, flawlessly hosted by Yvonne, of course. It was fun! Dressed in my very first character costume (Cruella DeVille) which I looked great in if I do say so myself. I think I want to be a wig person now. I was FEELING that long hair! We had these cute little bloody syringe jello shots and I tried a Cuban cigar (tasty). It was a good time. I think I need a good going out moment again though, I miss dancing and I feel like I’m going to be too old and mommed up for all that soon!

Also, in big news, Livvy turned 9! She has been with me eight whole years, can’t believe it. If I could make one little creature live as long as I do it would be her. My little angel fluff. Almost in the double digits already.

I want to write about one of our trips, so I’ll start at our earliest outside-Germany one. This was December 2019, our last trip before the plague hit (that new years feels like the beginning of a horror movie trailer now, everyone all happy and celebrating before ~life as they knew it changed forever~).

We went to Czechia, and spent our anniversary in Prague. It was magical.

We arrived in the evening, and first thing after checking in to our airbnb decided to go find something to eat. Aiming for some authentic Czech food, we found ourselves in an old brewery of sorts. We had heard that Czechs are also very proud of their beer and claim it’s superior to Germany’s, so we had to try. Turns out, we disagree with them on that, but I still enjoyed it a bit more than you did! In fact, my entire restaurant experience was a bit better than yours- I got fried cheese and potato pancakes and you forgot what marinated meant and so were very disappointed in your strangely soggy cheese. We did get a beer sampler full of interesting flavors that was fun- definitely combinations I’ve never tried before. Fruits, coffee, nettle, all sorts of stuff. The nettle beer was bright green! My favorites were the cherry and coffee, and you liked the banana and classic wheat the best.

We went for a stroll along the river after, asking our traditional (and now exceedingly easy) 36 questions. The pavement was wet from a recent rain and was reflecting the street lights almost as brightly as the water was. Strange empty yet lit up rooms lined the bridge on the side of the walking path, which I was fascinated by. We passed a Christmas tree barge all lit up, in the cabin a man dressed like Santa. We would have never guessed we would make it here of all places when we set out for that sunrise hike four years previous.

The next day was all exploration. We saw the clock, of course- the oldest operating one in the world. We wandered around admiring architecture and stopping at all the little Christmas markets and shops. We got some beautiful paintings of the city, and one of a little mouse with some red berries in the snow, and several souvenirs to send home. It was chilly but with the help of big fuzzy gloves and regular kisses (to warm up our faces of course) we certainly stayed cozy.

We visited the Klementinum, which started out as a chapel, which became a monastery, which turned into a Jesuit college, which merged with a university, and finally became an astronomical observatory. We got to see all sorts of old equipment, and even got to peek into the famous library. You couldn’t enter- just briefly stand in the doorway where they flicked the lights on long enough to see, no pictures allowed. It was beautiful- endless fragile old books, sensitive to light, holding who knows what knowledge! Apparently there are scholars currently working on digitizing the collection. What a dream job.

We crossed the bridge at twilight, making our way to the other side through masses of people and street artists and musicians, breaking out into the gateway of a fairytale city. We are closer to the palace here, the buildings neater and taller, the streets all lit up. We ducked inside a little antique shop and looked at old photos for a while, before heading up to the castle to see if we could make it in time for a tour. We missed our window (just our luck with palaces!) but shortly afterwards found our way to a fancy little restaurant with incredible pasta, so all was well. A small hike up a hill and the discovery of a clearly labeled Good Kiss Spot was the perfect way to end the day.

We found a real breakfast place there! Waffles and eggs Benedict and everything. It was soooo satisfying. And even better, while we were waiting for a table to open, we crossed the street to an amazing multi-level antique shop in which you got me a beautiful blue glass ring and a traditional embroidered top. I love them SO much.

Next stop was a little drive out of the city to go see Sedlec Ossuary. I’m gonna do the thing where I paste in from my Instagram again and save a bit of typing:

“Sedlec Ossuary- or simply 'The Bone Church'.⁣ ⁣ In 1278, the Abbot of this church brought back a small amount of earth from Golgotha and sprinkled it over the church's cemetery. Because of this, so many thousands of people wanted to be buried there that they had to enlarge the cemetery, until finally building a chapel around 1400 and using it to store the mass graves that were unearthed. ⁣ ⁣ Eventually in 1870, the woodcarver Rint was hired to put the bone heaps in order, and he was the one to arrange and decorate the chapel with those bones. ⁣ ⁣ The church contains the skeletons of an estimated 40,000 to 70,000 people, and the chandelier in the center contains at least one of every bone in the human body.

My first thoughts in here were wondering how the 40,000 people whose remains are inside would feel about being on display like this- a tourist attraction. There's really no way to know... ⁣ ⁣ I hope they would approve though. Still on the holy ground they originally wanted to be buried in, adorning the walls in a church of the god they worshipped. And personally, I feel like it must be nice to be out among the living, still being actively thought of and marveled at, instead of shut away six feet under and forgotten. I wouldn't mind at all if my bones ended up somewhere like this.”

So, yes. It was beautiful and somber and moving. It will stick with me for a long time. And, to anyone reading this, I hope something cool happened with my bones. Find out for me?

After that we went to this little coffee shop that was so cute and cozy- dark wood and soft chairs and a little fire place- and got some hot chocolate. What we didn’t know was that it was going to literally be… chocolate that is hot. We got little cups of thick melted chocolate (mine with ginger too), and little crème filled crisp rolls to dip in it. It was super rich and warming and delicious!

Back to Prague for our final evening! We made it through into the castle courtyard this time. The sky was this unbelievable cobalt blue that stained your eyes even when you looked away, and the castles church spires were silhouetted so beautifully against them. There was a little Christmas market situated right at the base of the palace and it was the most magical thing I’ve ever seen. Trees and stalls all lit up with lights, the smells of fried dough and pine and cold in the air, gluhwein and Trdelnick pastries and potato wedges wrapped in a funnily translated fake newspaper, all overseen by the castle glowing over the top of everything. Truly a fairytale.

I wasn’t ready to be done with the evening, and we decided to find a jazz club. We were there far too early for anything to start, which turned out to be good because the music space itself was super tiny half dome of a room, and it filled up fast. You were outside smoking when the musicians arrived and the bassist accidentally dropped his vase on your foot, which horrified him since you were using your cane that day! But, what an incredible experience it was!! This tiny, dark little club, listening to a band from of all places, Chicago- glasses of wine in front of us and making friends with the people seated near us all from different countries. The music was amazing, the piano especially mind-blowing. It was my favorite moment of the trip, hands down. A perfect ending.

I can’t believe that was already two years ago. Time has really flown by. I suppose it’s just gonna keep on rolling by, quicker and quicker! Gotta use every moment wisely, not just for productivity but for joy. The way we spend our minutes is the way we spend our lives… I just saw that somewhere, or something like it, and it’s been rolling around in my head for a bit. How we fill the gaps between working and the big events like vacation are the most important parts as far as looking back goes, since those little times make up the majority of our memories, dictate the base flavors of emotion and little projects and things we cared to think about. It’s almost in the reflexive moments, you know? What do we turn to to fill up the space? I want to consciously increase the quality of that supporting structure.

Hey, love you.

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samsexualdeancurious · 3 years

Text

Good Branch Distribution

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Words: 1,433

Warnings: Fluff

Summary: The reader wants to give Sam a proper Christmas.

Written for Susan for her December 2019 Angel request. Betaed by me.

---

Sam wakes with his nose buried in the back of Y/N’s neck. He smiles, taking a deep breath of her familiar scents as he snuggles in closer against her back.

“Good morning,” she murmurs, one hand coming up to weave their fingers together and pull his hand to her chest.

“Morning,” he replies, nuzzling against her warm, soft skin.

“It’s December.”

He hums in agreement, sleepy brain struggling to figure out where she’s going with this.

“That means it’s almost Christmas!”

Oh.

“Christmas,” he says slowly.

She laughs and rolls to face him. “Yeah. Christmas. You do know what Christmas is, right?”

“Of course I know what Christmas is,” Sam says, a little defensive.

“Well, then, what’s wrong?”

Sam bites his lip, turning away from her questioning gaze.

“Sam,” she says softly, one hand cradling his cheek. “When was the last time you had Christmas?”

“2007,” he answers without hesitation.

“2007?” She frowns, thumb stroking his cheekbone. “Isn’t that-?”

“Right before Dean died.”

“Oh,” she breathes. “Oh, Sam. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

He shrugs. “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known.”

Y/N scoots in closer and kisses him softly. “Well. So your most recent Christmas memories aren’t the best. How about we fix that this year?”

“Y/N-”

“Sam,” she interrupts. “C’mon. Let’s make new memories together.”

He gazes into her eyes and realizes she’s completely serious about this.

“Okay,” he relents. “We can try.”

She lights up at those words and tugs him in for another kiss, hands sliding into his hair. “First things first,” she says determinedly. “Let’s wake up properly.”

Sam laughs and allows himself to be pulled on top of her, hips fitting between her thighs. “I like that plan.”

After Y/N doesn’t mention it for a few days, Sam almost forgets about the whole Christmas thing until she presents him with a shopping list.

“What’s this?” he asks, eyeing it.

She rolls her eyes. “Our Christmas shopping list, duh. We have to get decorations. I’m thinking we could put a tree in the library and decorate it together. You, me, Dean, Cas, Jack. It’ll be fun.”

Sam looks from her to the list and back again before reluctantly nodding. “Okay. But I don’t think Dean would be okay with us putting a tree on the roof of the Impala.”

“We’re not getting a real one,” Y/N laughs. “Those are too much work. If we get an artificial one, we won’t have to worry about keeping it alive and we can store it to use again every year. Plus, they come in boxes. One of those will totally fit in the trunk.”

“Oh.” He honestly forgot artificial trees were even an option. “That makes sense. I’ll go get the car keys, then.”

Y/N does a little happy dance. “Okay! Let me go get my coat.”

It’s chilly in Kansas. No snow yet but grey and bleak with a brisk wind that cuts through all but the thickest of coats. Sam’s glad he and Y/N picked up some really nice coats in the Black Friday shopping she insisted on doing. Otherwise they would be absolutely miserable as they made their way from the back of the parking lot to the store.

“This way,” Y/N says. He’s pushing the cart and she’s leading with one hand on the front. Sam allows her to direct him - last time he got Christmas decorations, they came from a gas station and a dollar store. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing here.

“Tree first,” Y/N is saying. “The library has high ceilings so we should get something tall. Not crazy tall but definitely taller than you. I’m thinking twelve or thirteen feet?”

“Thirteen?” Sam echoes, staring at her and then at the display trees around them. “That’s twice my height.”

“I don’t want it to be dwarfed by the size of the room,” she explains. “It has to be tall enough that it doesn’t look weird in the middle of the library, ya know?”

“That makes sense.” He follows her along the line of display trees, watching her examine each carefully.

“I like this one,” she says, pointing to one in the middle of the row. “It’s twelve feet and it’s got good width. What do you think?”

Sam shrugs. It looks like a tree to him. She rolls her eyes.

“Sam, this Christmas isn’t just for me,” she tells him, rounding the cart to loop her arm around his waist. “This is for both of us. You get to have an opinion, too.”

He chews lightly on the inside of his lip, pausing to examine the line of trees and try to see them the way she’s seeing them. Tall, short, thin, wide. Now that he’s really looking, he can see the differences between each. Some have fewer branches, some are really dense. Some have long visible trunks at the base, others are basically flush with the ground.

“I like this one,” he finally says, pointing one out - whether it’s the one she was looking at, he’s not sure. It just might be. “It’s a good size and height, and it seems to have a good, I don’t know. Branch distribution?”

She chuckles. “Branch distribution. I like it. That’s a good tree. Let’s see if we can find it on the shelves.”

Sam memorizes the name and number she reads out to him, and then they adventure down the aisles to find the tree in a box. It takes them a minute because there’s just so many trees but they manage to track it down and Sam gets a box down from the high shelf for her to look at.

She reads carefully over the details of the tree, looks at the price, and then nods. “This is a good one. Think this is our tree?”

“I do,” Sam answers and he’s a little surprised to find that he means it.

“Do we really need this many decorations?” Dean asks, staring at the bags Y/N and Sam are unloading onto one of the library tables. Both tables have been scooted a few feet further apart to make room for the tree Cas and Jack are unpacking.

“Judging by the size of this tree,” Cas says, flipping through the instruction booklet. “I would be more concerned about whether they bought enough decorations.”

“Did you buy the biggest tree they had?” Jack says in wonder, setting the base piece upright. The branches are all squished flat from being in the box.

“Did you?” Dean sounds a little panicked as he stares at Y/N.

She shakes her head, laughing. “No. There were taller ones. This one is just twelve feet.”

“Twelve feet?” Jack gazes up at the partially-constructed tree in wonder.

Dean groans. “We’re gonna need a ladder, aren’t we.”

“There’s one in the garage,” Sam tells him. “I remember seeing one.”

“I know,” Dean grumbles. “You’re going to be the one getting up on it.”

Decorating the tree is a process. First they have to set it up. Then comes “fluffing” it, which Dean smirks about. Sam ignores him in favor of following Y/N’s instructions and carefully pulling each branch away from the trunk until it’s starting to look more like the tree they saw in the store.

“Lights next!” Jack is practically bouncing, he’s so excited. He’s already carefully untangled each strand of lights and checked that all the bulbs are working.

Sam ends up on the top of the ladder, doing his best to evenly distribute the lights while not falling off. At least Dean was kind enough to hold the ladder still.

“That looks so good,” Y/N praises once Sam is safe on the ground. “Ornament time!”

Which is how Sam finds himself up on the ladder again. Y/N alternates between passing him ornaments and helping Jack and Cas place ornaments on the lower branches. Together the task Sam thought would take hours ends up only taking about one hour.

“Beautiful,” Y/N murmurs, tucking herself against Sam’s side.

Sam glances around the room, taking in the bags of empty packaging from the ornaments and tree, the ladder off to one side, and the army of beer bottles that’s beginning to form on one of the tables. Jack is gazing up at the tree with the wide-eyed wonder of a child. Cas is watching him with a soft expression and even Dean is smiling.

“Yeah,” Sam whispers, pressing a kiss to Y/N’s forehead. “It is. Y/N?”

“Hmm?” she lifts her head to look at him.

“Thank you.”

---

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—

Team Forever: @mrswhozeewhatsis @laughing-at-the-darkness @tumbler-tidbits @imsuperawkward @emoryhemsworth

#sam x reader #spn fanfic #my writing

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butterflyinthewell · 4 years

Text

Dad took some steps today. He needed the therapist right there because he was so off balance that he would’ve fallen without support along with his walker. One of his feet is curling sideways and inward because he hasn’t been putting weight on his feet. That will be a problem and he may need a brace to straighten that out. It’s related to the whole “don’t use it and you lose it” aspect of Parkinson’s disease, and I was afraid of this.

I hope he gets to walk again as much as he could before because he will be stuck in one room for the rest of his life if he doesn’t. I think that’s the one incentive that makes him want to get back on his feet. My fear is he will then proceed to get up at night like he was doing when he got hurt in the first place. He still keeps mom awake till 3 and 4am because she’s a people pleaser who will give until she’s dead. Black hole people like my dad love finding bleeding hearts like my mom.

I’ve told mom to just put her foot down and go to bed, but I stayed up once to see what really happens. Dad whines and complains if mom says she’s going to bed. Suddenly he will want to be put on his bedside commode (which takes forever and then you wait for him to go and heave him back into bed), or he will want a sandwich or just anything that makes mom have to be busy on his behalf until she’s wide awake again when she was sleepy enough for bed before.

Just...AUGH...every good thing always comes with shit right behind it.

I think I’m going to ask my counselor or psychiatrist if there’s a way to screen for ptsd. My mental health is in the toilet and I’m having bizarre dreams and nightmares several times a week. My sleep is disrupted now, and that’s never been a thing for me. I’m constantly hyper vigilant. I’m having anger outbursts and the kinds of thoughts that intrude upon my mind are horrible.

If something happens to mom, I am helpless in all the issues that matter. Food, I can figure out, but I’m worse than useless for everything else. I cannot move dad to his commode or wheelchair, and he needs some support to move onto them. I’m too small, he outweighs me by over 100 pounds.

Most of my bad dreams are things happening to my mom, or there’s word that something happened and I can’t get any info on if she’s okay or not. Another kind I have is I’ve contracted COVID, or someone who comes in to see us has it and spreads it, and I’m the only survivor. Other dreams are the body horror type where I amputate my own body parts with a saw and hand them to people because I feel useless. I had one recently where I literally ran up to Hannibal Lecter with a knife and fork and told him to eat me, but he took the silverware away and wouldn’t do it because “no, you’re not rude.” I said I was, but he wouldn’t do it. I was so angry! I was angry about that dream all day!

I don’t believe I deserve anything good and I don’t see myself as a good person. I don’t deserve help.

I’m scared a lot. Just...I can be sitting here watching a cute kitten video on YouTube or eating dinner and get hit with a wave of fear.

None of this is how my mind usually works. I’ve never been in mortal danger(recently), but I’ve had my routines and life disrupted to such severe degrees that I feel like I’ve lost control of my life, and to me that’s almost the same thing as dying. I’m autistic, and autistic people are more prone to trauma from ‘mundane’ things that a neurotypical person wouldn’t flinch at.

I’m just worried the “not life-threatening” aspect will immediately disqualify a diagnosis.

In June 2019, I went into burnout after home health visits for dad threw all my routines away and they’re still getting destroyed by it because they can’t keep a consistent fucking routine.

July that year was my dad getting his DBS batteries replaced. It was sensory hell because I got my period the day of the surgery and spent the whole time nauseated and cramping, but being silent about it...only to get called selfish and horrible for mentioning how bad I felt after we were all home again. (Outpatient surgery)

September 2019, mom’s gallbladder almost blew up and she was rushed to the hospital. I was alone with dad, without warning, and had to function using emergency reserves that I didn’t have because I was in burnout. I ran around terrified that any mistake I made would get me screamed at by both my dad and sister. Mom was out of the house from Friday to Tuesday. Dad did nothing but demand and demand from me and yelled at me for melting down. I was almost out of meds and for awhile didn’t know if or when I would get them. I had to grocery shop with sister’s help and she kept getting upset at me for arranging the cart like mom did, and I ended up forgetting things I needed even though I had a list right in front of my face the whole time. I was that out of it.

An aid had to come bathe dad because mom couldn’t do it for at least six weeks. That happened whenever someone could come, so dinner, my showers and mom’s ability to do things were disrupted by waiting for the call that the aid was coming. Coverage only lasted six weeks and then the help was yanked the second mom was declared fit to lift more than 5 pounds again.

October 2019, our car died and so routines got thrown further out of whack because mom and I had to depend on friends and family for rides to grocery shop or go to church. Trips stopped being at a set time and turned into “whenever someone can drive you” so I was uprooted from my day with little warning, and we didn’t get a new car until early December.

December 2019: We Christmas shopped late because of the car bullshit, mom barely got the cookies baked in time, and it was just a super stressful Christmas season.

I struggled through the death anniversary of my dog because that year he was gone as many years as he had lived and I spent most of it in a disassociated state.

Then mom had her bowel obstruction the day after Christmas and was in the hospital from Friday to Sunday. Yet again she was gone and the routine was blown apart without warning. My sister gave me shit the first time I wore my new ear defenders to the grocery store. Dad did nothing but demand and demand from me when I had nothing. I ruined a dinner that I didn’t know how to cook and went hungry but made him eat leftover ham from Christmas.

January 2020, the COVID shit started on the news.

March 2020, I went to the grocery store with mom and shelves were empty like a nuclear war was coming. I was terrified that I would catch COVID and kill my parents by passing it to them. Church closed. Stores opened for senior hours at butthole o’clock in the morning. Weekend routines were destroyed. Choir practices stopped. More routine disruptions.

August 2020, I started having anniversary distress related to what happened to mom the year before.

Then dad fell and broke his hip. I still clear as day see him in his blue shirt, sitting on the stair chair, being pulled backwards out the front door by paramedics with the ambulance lights flashing red and blue under the midnight sky and white street light.

Late September, as I’m struggling a bit with the anniversary of what happened to mom, worrying about dad getting COVID and beginning to relax because “dad is going to be away till he can walk again...” there comes that phone call from shithole New Orange Hills saying they’re sending him home and we find out they lied to us about every promise they made.

October 2020, dad was brought home and now he’s laying in an electric bed in the family room where mom can hear him if he needs her.

Writing that down has me realizing I’ve been experiencing almost continuous upheavals to my routines. Routines give me a sense of safety, and every time things settle something else throws it all to shit again.

So either I have ptsd or I’m possibly developing it, and I’m scared because this seems so ridiculous compared to the reasons other people get it.

#swearing #dad fall drama #disabled abusers #emotional abuse #food mention #tw menstruation #tw pet death

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our-time-is-now · 3 years

Text

July 15, 2019: Cheers of joy and tears of happiness

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.

Monday, 11:07 am:

WhatsApp Laura/Matteo:

Laura: Hey, everything okay with you guys? Could you maybe call me when my brother isn’t around? Love, Laura

Matteo: *he and David are sitting on the porch outside of the cabin because the others left to go shopping half an hour ago* *Alex and Mia are cleaning the kitchen after breakfast and Kiki and Carlos went for a swim* *looks over at David and sees that his eyes are closed* *wonders if he’s asleep when he feels his phone vibrate* *picks it up from the table and is a little surprised when he reads Laura’s message* *gets up and sees David open his eyes* Hey… I… I’ll just go to the tent real quick, I’m back in a minute. *sees David simply nod and close his eyes again* *quickly walks away from the cabin toward the tent and calls Laura once he’s sure that he can no longer be seen* *isn’t surprised when she picks up immediately* Hey… what’s up? Everything okay?

Laura: *is sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee when her phone starts ringing* *is a little surprised that Matteo could get away this quickly and immediately picks up the call* *smiles when she hears his voice* Hey, it’s good to hear your voice. Yes, everything’s okay here in Berlin. And what about you? How are you guys? *plays with the letter addressed to David and is almost bursting with anticipation because she really wants to tell Matteo about it, but she also wants to know how they are doing*

Matteo: *has reached the tent and sits down on the grass in front of it* Likewise… everything’s good here, we’re fine… umm… but I didn’t have to get away from David just so you could ask me that, right?

Laura: *nods satisfied when she hears that everything’s okay* *then laughs at his suspicion and shakes her head* No, that’s not why you had to get away… *takes a deep breath and then says with a smile* A letter has arrived for David. From the hospital. My guess is that it’s maybe the date for his surgery. If that’s the case, then you’re probably going to want to celebrate tonight… and I thought that you might want to get some champagne or beer or something before I tell David about the letter… or do you think the idea is stupid?

Matteo: *hears her take a deep breath* *then hears her words but it takes a minute for him to really understand it* The date for the surgery? *notices a lump forming in his throat and gets up so that he can pace* That’s… wow… already? We thought that it would take months… whoa… that’s… *swallows* *then answers her question* And of course… there are some people out grocery shopping right now… I’ll text them… is it okay if I text you when they are back again and then you can call David?

Laura: *smiles when she realizes that Matteo is just as astonished as she felt when she took the letter out of the mailbox* Yes, I also assumed that it would take longer. But it might also be that the appointment isn’t until December or January, no idea. But the envelope is quite thick, so I guess that it includes all the forms that he has to send back again… *then smiles again when he likes her idea and nods* Okay, let’s do it like that. *would love to be there in person when she tells David the news, but can also imagine that he wants to know about it right now and not only when they get back from Heidesee* *quietly and still smiling says* I’m so happy for him! Once you’re back again the three of us definitely have to celebrate again!

Matteo: *swallows again and clears his throat* No matter when, it’s a date and then it’s a fixed thing and certain and… yeah… *nods to himself* We’ll do it like this… and of course, we’ll celebrate just the tree of us. Then we’ll make him lasagna! *has been pacing and is now coming to a halt in front of the tent* Okay, I’ll text you then… later! *waits for Laura to also say her goodbyes and then ends the call* *immediately opens his chat with Jonas*

WhatsApp Jonas/Matteo:

Matteo: Hey, Brudi? Are you still in the store? Could you maybe bring a bottle of champagne? Something nice, no idea, ask Hanna, I don’t really know much about that stuff…

Jonas: Of course. What for?

Matteo: Can’t tell you yet, and I can’t tell you when you come back, either, okay?

Jonas: Alright.

*impatiently waits for his answer and briefly considers also texting Hanna when he gets the answer* *puts the phone in his pocket and was just about to go back when he remembers that he needs something to explain why he went to the tent* *crawls inside and randomly picks the first thing that he reaches, which happens to be his slippers* *shrugs and then puts on the other shoes* *crawls outside again, closes the tent and goes back to the cabin*

David: *has spent the morning relaxing and has been sitting in front of the cabin with Matteo* *when the others came back from shopping, he had helped with unloading the stuff and carrying it to the cabin and putting everything away* *is sitting in front of the cabin with Hanna, Mia, Alex and Matteo and is listening to Hanna’s story about the cashiers at the store looking confused due to the amounts of things they bought when suddenly his phone vibrates in his pocket announcing an incoming call* *pulls it out and sees that it’s Laura* *is a little surprised that she’s calling at such an hour until he remembers that she has this week off work* *excuses himself from the others with a murmur* My sister, sorry… *accepts the call* Hey, na?

Laura: *tries her best to not sound excited when he answers* Hey, little brother, everything good with you guys? Can you talk right now or is it a bad moment right now?

David: *nods at Laura’s question* Yep, everything alright with us… *is a little surprised for a moment when she asks so specifically if he can talk and looks at the others* Umm… hang on… *gets up and moves a few steps toward the fireplace* *while he’s still walking says* Okay… now… what’s going on?

Laura: *waits while he moves a few steps away* *is twisting the letter in her hands in the meantime* Ummm, I’ve got a letter for you here… from the Helios clinic… I wanted to ask you if you want me to open it?

David: *has just reached the fireplace when Laura tells him that a letter has arrived for him* *then hears who it’s from and feels his heartbeat pick up* *takes a deep breath when he realizes that this could already be the date for the mastectomy and realizes how he’s getting a little dizzy* *sits down on one of the logs at the fireplace and takes another deep breath* *clears his throat and says a little vaguely* Ummm… yes? I think so… yes! Open it! *audibly exhales and closes his eyes* *somehow feels a little surreal right now* *tells himself not to get his hopes up too much – after all, it could just be some advertising or some other information*

Laura: *hears him take a deep breath and wishes again that she could be with him right now to give him a hug* *waits until he’s certain that he really wants it* *then opens the letter and pulls out several pages* *but only concentrates on the cover letter* Dear Mister Schreibner… bla bla… September 13th, David! September 13th this year! You still have to fill out a ton of forms and go to another examination before the surgery, but September 13th! *stops and waits for a moment* Are you still there? Everything okay?

David: *hears the rustle when Laura opens the letter and digs his fingernails into the log* *feels his heartbeat pick up even more when Laura starts reading him the letter* *listens to her but at first doesn’t really understand a word she’s saying and when she repeats September 13th three times, it still takes him a moment to really understand that he has a date* *just then feels a big lump in his throat and is flooded by relief, excitement, fear but most of all, happiness* *realizes only slowly that he now has a date for the day he’s been waiting for for years, that it’s only two months away, that he’ll never have to wear a binder again afterwards, that he won’t have to be ashamed of his chest anymore, and somehow still thinks this is really surreal* *realizes that he’s shaking only when he hears Laura’s voice again and nods in answer to her question* *then clears his throat but feels that the lump in his throat is only getting bigger* *says with a croaky voice* Yes… I… September 13th… *then laughs quietly and realizes that tears are welling up in his eyes, after all* *wipes them away and takes a deep breath* That’s only two months away… of course everything’s alright!

Laura: *listens to him and realizes that tears are welling up in her eyes, as well* Yes… in two months… *swallows hard* David… I’m so happy for you… I wish I was there right now to hug you… celebrate a little, ok? *hesitates briefly* If the whole group is too much for you, then just take Matteo and get away from them… but this is… just enjoy it, okay?

David: *feels a few more tears welling up when Laura says that she’s happy for him, wipes them away and nods at her suggestions* *with a shaky and husky voice says* Yes, I will… *then laughs quietly* You can hug me when I’m back home… thanks for calling. *hears her tell him that she’ll certainly do that and then says his goodbyes from her* *stares at his phone for a moment, and now that the conversation with Laura is over feels like he has only imagined all of that – that it couldn’t be true that he got an appointment this quickly and that he doesn’t have to wait for six but only two months for a date* *as if Laura knew about his doubts, he receives a photo of the letter via WhatsApp just at that moment* *zooms in with shaky hands and reads the letter again himself – and then again* *keeps thinking “finally” but can’t really believe it, yet* *then closes his eyes and laughs quietly* *but feels the tears welling up again while he laughs* *somehow can’t really calm his heart down, takes a few deep breaths and wipes the tears off* *then looks to the cabin, puts his phone back in his pocket and gets up* *wants to share this with Matteo now so that he can keep reminding him that it’s really true if he doesn’t really believe it himself* *feels his legs shaking when he makes his way back toward the cabin*

Matteo: *has been nervous since David went away with his phone* *was hoping that he’d stay in his line of vision, but also thinks that it might be a good thing that no one can see him yet* *isn’t listening to the others and has no clue what they are talking about* *checks the time and wonders if he maybe should go check on David* *but then sees him walking around the corner and jumps up so suddenly that it startles Alex, who’s sitting next to him* *doesn’t care about that right now* *goes towards David as quickly as he can* *tries to see in his face what mood he is in, if it really was the date and if it was, how he feels about it* *but isn’t really sure* *then spreads his arms a little as an offer when he arrives*

David: *sees Matteo walking toward him when he’s rounding the corner and isn’t even really surprised when he spreads his arms for a hug* *just quickens his steps while his heart is beating out of his chest and wraps his arms around Matteo once he reaches him* *buries his face in Matteo’s shoulder and wants to tell him about the news straight away, when suddenly new feelings are added to the ones he’s just been through, like the fact that Matteo is there, that he’ll go this journey with him and that he already went this journey with him up to this point, that he isn’t alone and that after the surgery it will be a little easier and more normal for them* *feels all of that together with the relief and happiness and can’t say a word* *instead feels the lump in his throat grow bigger again and feels a sob escape him and feels tears welling up once more* *squeezes Matteo close and hopes that his hands will stop shaking and that his heart will calm down somehow* *eventually murmurs against his shoulder, barely audible and with a fragile voice* I have a date for the surgery… *thinks that it sounds so incredibly surreal now that he says it for the first time and has to laugh and sob simultaneously* *tries to somehow calm himself down and to take a deep breath*

Matteo: *immediately wraps both of his arms tightly around David when he hugs him* *just keeps holding him* *then feels that he’s shaking and startles when he hears a sob* *runs his hand up and down his back* *then hears the words and automatically squeezes him a little closer* *swallows hard when he realizes that he’s also really emotional and quietly says* Congratulations… *but still feels like this was a stupid comment and couldn’t come even close to what he feels right now* *slightly pulls away from him so that he can look at him and so that David can see how happy he is for him* *puts one hand to his face and wipes a tear away with his thumb* We’re going to celebrate this now, okay? However you want to, with everyone, or only the two of us, we can get away… I made them get a bottle of champagne… whatever you want, ok?

David: *somehow hears Matteo congratulate him through his high and takes another deep breath when he feels Matteo pulling away from him a little* *has to smile when he sees that Matteo’s happy and swallows to finally make that lump in his throat disappear* *feels Matteo wiping his tears away and runs his own hand over his face again to make them disappear* *then nods when Matteo says that they are going to celebrate and is so excited that he doesn’t even wonder why Matteo has made them get a bottle of champagne* *can’t really think or make any decisions right now and therefore only nods at both his suggestion about celebrating with everyone and to his suggestion about celebrating alone and to get away* *laughs quietly once he realizes that and takes another deep breath* *clears his throat and says with a still shaky voice* I can’t really think right now… but celebrating sounds good. *then hears Hanna worriedly calling from the porch: “Hey, is everything okay with you guys? David?”* *wipes his eyes again and then looks over Matteo’s shoulder to the porch* *nods at Hanna and says* Yes, everything’s alright! *then looks back at Matteo, smiles and repeats again* I have a date for the surgery! September 13th! *is still shaking his head in disbelief and then kisses him briefly* *quietly says* I can’t believe it! You have to keep telling me that it’s really true, okay?

Matteo: *laughs slightly when David simply nods to every suggestion* Celebrating sounds very good! *then also hears Hanna calling behind him, but doesn’t turn around because he doesn’t want to let go of David* *beams at him when he tells him the date* Wow, this soon? God, that’s in two months! *kisses him back* *nods immediately* Of course, I’ll remind you gladly and constantly. September 13th! *kisses him again and then again* *then looks at him again* *tilts his head a little and smiles* Are you able to think again and decide if you want to tell it to the lot, or if you’d rather not?

David: *nods when Matteo asks him again about September 13th and says a little breathless* In two months! *returns Matteo’s kisses and wraps his arms around him again* *then also looks at him and smiles quietly when he mentions the lot* *briefly looks over to the cabin but then thinks that they will soon find out anyways and that they would otherwise ask themselves all day why Matteo and he have disappeared yet again* *takes Matteo’s hands and then decides* We’ll tell the lot… and tonight we’ll celebrate again just the two of us, okay? *then runs his hand over his face and through his hair again and hopes that it isn’t obvious that he had been crying* *holds onto Matteo’s hand a little tighter and then turns toward the cabin where Carlos and Abdi have now also joined Hanna, Mia and Alex* *while they walk he realizes that he’s still a little shaky and still has this feeling of incredulity in his head and stomach* *reaches the porch and can feel questioning looks on him* *first reaches for his half-full mug of coffee and takes a sip of cold coffee* *somehow needs this right now* *then hears Carlos: “Brudi, something’s wrong. You look upset…”* *looks at the others at first, but then looks down at the ground, after all, because it’s somehow weird to say it out loud in front of so many people* *takes another deep breath, and without letting go of Matteo’s hand says: “I have a date for my mastectomy…”*

Matteo: *holds his hand tightly and then nods* Tonight we’ll celebrate again, just the two of us. *then runs his free hand through his hair and says with a smile* You look good… *then goes to the cabin with him* *has to laugh when David first takes a sip of coffee while everyone is looking at him more or less questioningly* *then hears Carlos and looks at David* *wonders if he’ll really say it when he already does* *then it’s silent for a second before everyone starts cheering* *grins really wide* *then sees Jonas, Carlos and Abdi jump up to pull David into a group hug* *unfortunately has to let go of his hand* *hears Carlos yell the loudest: “Awesome! Finally, Brudi! That’s great!”* *sees Hanna smile at him, probably because he’s been sidelined a little* *but doesn’t mind, on the contrary, he thinks that David deserves all the cheers and hugs*

David: *carefully looks up when the others don’t say anything at first, but then already hears their cheers and has to laugh quietly when he finds himself in the middle of a group hug a moment later* *feels Abdi jumping up and down and hears Jonas say: “I’m happy for you, really awesome!” and feels him pat his shoulder while he says that* *eventually hears Mia: “Hello?!? There are other people who want to congratulate him, as well!” and feels the guys slowly letting go of him* *then gets a hug from Hanna first, who also congratulates him, and then from Mia, who first pats his shoulder but then hugs him, after all, and hears her say: “I didn’t know that you were planning this, but I’m still really happy for you!”* *smiles slightly and murmurs* Thanks! *then Alex is in front of him and he grins slightly when he holds his hand out for him and hears him say: “Congratulations!”* *reaches for the hand, but then gets pulled into a hug by Alex, as well* *doesn’t even get the chance to be surprised about it when he already lets go of him* *then looks around for Matteo, who has been sidelined a little by the others, and immediately pulls him closer again* *somehow needs him close right now* *then hears Abdi: “And how do you know that all of a sudden? Did the hospital call you or what?”* *shakes his head and tells them about the letter that Laura had read to him* *then hears Mia: “And when is the date?”* *grins slightly because he still can’t really believe it himself* September 13th! *then hears everyone cheer again because the date is so soon and pulls Matteo to their seats with a smirk* *is a little shaky and excited once again, or maybe still is, and reaches for his mug again* *then hears Jonas: “Yeah, I’d say we have to really celebrate this now, right!?”*

Matteo: *watches with a smile as everyone congratulates him* *but immediately goes back to David’s side when he pulls him closer* *loosely wraps his arm around his waist* *then they sit down again* *immediately nods at Jonas’ words* Definitely… did you put the champagne in the fridge? *sees Hanna jump up: “Yes, we did, I’ll go get it… and some glasses…”* *then hears Carlos again: “Woah, man, Brudi, September 13th is really soon… maybe we can even still go swimming afterwards.”* *slightly shakes his head* No, no, afterwards he first has to rest for 4-6 weeks… *sees Carlos grin: “Are you his guard-dog, then?”* *nods and only says* Yep.

David: *somehow realizes only now that Matteo had already mentioned champagne earlier and that he mentions it again now and is a little surprised about it* *was just about to ask him when Calos interrupts his thoughts* *then nods at Matteo’s words and laughs quietly when Matteo also confirms that he’s his guard-dog* *adds* Well, 4 to 6 weeks are recommended. I’m not allowed to lift anything heavy and not exert myself too much and stuff like that* *then hears Mia: “And how long will you have to stay in the hospital?”* *shrugs* If everything goes well then five to seven days… *sees her nod: “And after that bedrest? If you’ll recover at the flatshare, then I can already imagine that you won’t only have Matteo as your nurse but also Hans and Linn who won’t leave your side…”* *laughs quietly and shrugs* Then I really have to think about what I prefer: My sister and Matteo or Linn and Hans and Matteo… *then sees Hanna coming back with the champagne, followed by Amira, Sam and Kiki, who are carrying the glasses* *hears Kiki complain: “Hanna wouldn’t tell us what we’re celebrating!”*

Matteo: *listens to the conversation* *laughs when David says that then he has to think about where he’ll stay* As if Hans wouldn’t come visit… *then also sees Hanna coming back followed by the rest of the girls* *looks at David when he hears Kiki’s question, who nods briefly* David has his date for the surgery, for the mastectomy… *sees Kiki beam: “Oh, great, congratulations!”* *then hears Sam: “For his what?”* For his chest surgery… *then also hears Amira: “Yes, excellent. Congratulations from me, as well.”* *sees as everyone sits down and Hanna hand out the glasses* *lifts his glass together with the others* Well then… to David! *hears everyone join in happily “To David!”*

David: *laughs when Matteo says that Hans would come visit him* Ture… so basically it doesn’t matter… *thanks Kiki and Amira when they congratulate him and then accepts one of the glasses* *gets a little flustered when everyone’s toasting to him and quietly murmurs “thanks”* *then takes a sip and is quite glad when the friends start their own conversations, which are to some extent about his mastectomy, but it still means that he’s no longer in the spotlight* *uses this moment to turn towards Matteo and quietly ask* Champagne? *smiles slightly* Did you sense something or did my sister text you?

Matteo: *is quite glad when the others are talking amongst themselves and all of their attention isn’t on David* *looks at him when he turns toward him* *then grins slightly* Yeah, I’m clairvoyant, didn’t you know that? *then shakes his head* No, she texted me when the others were shopping, told me to call her when you’re not around. When I went to the tent earlier, you know? She only said that there was a letter for you from the hospital and that she thinks it could be the date, so I texted Jonas… *tilts his head a little* That was okay, right?

David: *gives Matteo the secretary’s-office-look when he says that he’s clairvoyant* *then listens to him when he talks and grins slightly because he somehow finds it cute that Laura and Matteo had already planned in advance that they would probably celebrate* *nods at Matteo’s question* Yes, that was okay… *leans forward and presses a tender kiss to his mouth* *murmurs* Thanks… *then hears Abdi through the murmuring of the others “Hey, Brudis, we’re having a little argument right now… so what is it? Aren’t you allowed to have sex for six weeks, either?”* *is still looking at Matteo instead of Abdi, raises his eyebrows a little and grins* *then quietly murmurs to Matteo* Your question!

Matteo: *grins slightly when he gets the secretary’s-office-look* *is a little relieved when he says that it was okay* Well that’s good then… *kisses him back with a smile* You’re welcome… *then looks at Abdi when he interrupts them* *slightly draws up his eyebrows* *looks back at David and shakes his head when he says that it’s his question* *murmurs* You can’t be serious… *then turns back to Abdi* He isn’t allowed to exert himself, so yes… no physical exertion for 6 weeks… *sees Jonas smirk a little and hears him say: “Hey, Luigi, don’t take it personal if I stop contacting you after 2-3 weeks…”* *is a little confused and even more so when Carlos laughs and nods* Huh? Why that? *hears Carlos laugh even more: “Oh, boy, you’ve never had sex withdrawal, huh? Once you’ve reached the second week you’ll know what we mean.”*

David: *only keeps grinning when Matteo doesn’t want to answer Abdi’s question, either, and pats his shoulder in encouragement* *then reaches for his champagne glass and takes another sip* *follows the guys’ conversation slightly amused and wonders when he’ll get frustrated about the fact that they can’t have sex or if he’ll really be in pain for so long that he doesn’t even want to have sex* *then shakes his head and says quite optimistically* We can do this… *then hears Mia: “You’re really acting like horny teenagers. I guess they both know what they are foregoing sex for and that it’s worth it if David feels more comfortable in his body afterwards!”* *throws her a grateful look and nods* *then hears Sam laugh: “Hey, guys, you usually show so much solidarity with them… how about you also try to go without sex for six weeks?!”* *sees Jonas and Carlos looking at each other in shock, then sees them laugh and shake their heads* *hears Carlos: “Never!” and Hanna: “Well, if you guys won’t show solidarity, then maybe we’ll do that this time. What do you think, Kiki?”* *sees Kiki laugh and shrug, as well: “Would be an idea…”* *laughs and shakes his head* We would never ask that of you!

Matteo: *looks at Carlos a little reproachfully* *thinks that David’s health definitely has to come first* Of course we’ll manage that! *then listens to Mia and nods enthusiastically* Exactly… the main thing is that David recuperates quickly. *has to grin when he hears Sam’s suggestion and even more so at Carlos’ reaction* *but then hears Hanna and Kiki, who are serious about it* Don’t do that, please… they would never forgive us for that… *hears Hanna laugh: “Okay, okay…” and Kiki add: “Could also get quite exhausting, 4 guys on sex withdrawal.”* *only laughs and shakes his head* But it’s not always just about sex, right? *sees Mia grin and nod at him*

David: *smiles when Matteo confirms that they can do it and laughs when Kiki says that it could get exhausting with four guys on sex withdrawal* *but somehow likes the thought that the others sympathize with them and that Kiki wouldn’t only find Carlos exhausting but all of them* *nods at Matteo’s words and thinks that it’s about something much more important than sex right now* *at that moment feels this unreal feeling again and can’t really believe again that he really has a date, that they are sitting here talking about what it will be like afterwards – and that “afterwards” is now a fixed date and not something in an intangible future* *briefly feels a lump in his throat again and takes Matteo’s hand* *then hears Hanna: “Where will the surgery take place? Can we come visit you afterwards?”* *clears his throat to make the lump disappear and then nods* At the Helios Clinic in Zehlendorf and yes you can… once I can move again… *grins slightly*

Matteo: *grins slightly when Carlos whispers thanks to him when Kiki is takes the sex withdrawal she threatened them with back, after all* *then feels David’s hand in his and squeezes it slightly* *looks over at him and smiles slightly* *was just about to lean over to whisper to him that it really is true when he already hears Hanna’s question* *then hears Kiki ask: “And before that you don’t want to see anyone? We’ll also come visit you if you can’t move.”* *only sees David shake his head a little* Maybe you’ll just wait a few days and then we’ll see how he feels, ok? *sees Kiki nod: “Okay. But you’ll be there, or what?”* *looks at her as if she had just asked him if the sky was blue and hears Hanna laugh: “I want to see the person who could manage to keep Matteo away from the hospital.”*

David: *shakes his head at Kiki’s question* *knows that it will probably be hard enough to be weak and in need of help even in Laura and Matteo’s presence and doesn’t really want others to see him like that* *grins slightly at Kiki’s question and even more at Hanna’s words* *briefly squeezes Matteo’s hand and murmurs* That’s different… I think we’re both just doing better when he’s there… *then hears Mia sigh: “Oh, man, I would also love to visit you… but that’s probably going to be a little difficult from Madrid…” and hears Alex tell her: “We’ll just do a video chat when I visit David – then you can still be there live…”* *smiles and thinks that it’s somehow adorable that they are all already worrying about that* *but laughs quietly* I don’t think you’ll miss much, Mia… *then hears Abdi: “Hey, how does that even work? When are you allowed to take off the bandages and such? And will you show us the result or are we only going to find out next summer when we’re swimming?”* *briefly exhales and shrugs* No idea… I don’t think that the bandages will have to stay on for thaaat long – but afterwards I have to put bandaids on it, which have to stay there for a little longer… and it will take a few months until everything is completely healed… *sees Abdi gape at him: “Months?!?!”* *laughs and nods* *hears Abdi ask again: “Sick dude, but why does it take thaaat long?!”* *looks at the group with raised eyebrows* Do you really want to hear the details about the surgery? *sees some of them nod, some of them shrug and others shake their heads* *then hears Jonas: “I did some research on it. There are also different surgery methods for a mastectomy. Large and small incisions and even with those there can be differences. I’d suggest if someone is interested, then they should just google a little…”*

Matteo: *smiles when everyone is making plans to visit David and when Alex is even planning a video chat for Mia* *once again finds it really incredible how quickly David has managed to sneak into their friend’s hearts* *then hears Abdi’s questions and immediately looks at David a little worried, but he answers his question without a problem* *then hears him say “months” and suddenly gets worried* *had been aware of this, but he suddenly realizes that it’s getting real, that David will really have this surgery and that there really is a lot that could go wrong, or that the healing process could take forever, or that the scars could get infected or, or, or…* *hears David’s question and really hopes that they don’t want to hear it* *can’t listen to any details right now* *presses his lips together at Jonas’ answer and stares at the table* *hopes that this is the end to that matter* *but then hears Abdi: “And what things could go wrong?”* *feels his ears start to ring and that he really can’t do this right now* *says really constrained and brief* Enough! *sees Jonas looking at him and hears him immediately help him out: “By the way, who’s in charge of lunch today? I could really eat…”*

David: *nods at Jonas’ answer and is actually quite glad that he doesn’t have to go into detail* *then hears Abdi’s question and slightly shakes his head because he doesn’t really want to think about that now, and because the probability of something going wrong is really low* *then hears Matteo’s answer and his constrained tone of voice and looks over at him worriedly* *knows that he worries about this a lot and that he’s scared and that he wants to protect him but that he can’t do this in this case* *hears Jonas’ distraction and hears Abdi and Carlos groan because they and Amira are in charge of lunch and can hear the scraping of chairs and other conversations starting up in the background* *turns on his chair to face Matteo and puts his hand on his cheek* *looks at him worried and quietly but determinately says* But nothing will go wrong, you hear?

Matteo: *is aware of people getting up and starting to go to the kitchen* *isn’t aware of Alex looking over at them* *is still staring at the tabletop until David turns around to him* *then looks at him* *doesn’t want him to worry because of him just because he’s gone into panic mode again* *smiles slightly* I know that… *then sees his look and swallows slightly because he knows that he can’t really fool him* I’m just worried… you never know… right?

David: *shakes his head slightly when Matteo says that he knows it, because he knows that it won’t really make it better and because he can’t take Matteo’s worries off his chest* *is a little annoyed at himself that he said it so offhandedly and wonders what else he could have said and whether it might help Matteo to really talk about the risks in detail* *thinks amidst all the others isn’t the right place for that, but that they could really talk about it some other time* *nods when he says that he’s worried and quietly says* And that’s okay. You’re allowed to worry… *then nods again when he says that you never know and thinks about what he could say* *takes a deep breath and says* Okay, even if something did go wrong – and we’re not talking about the worst case right now – I’ll get back on my feet, you hear?! *smiles slightly* Then I’ll just stay in the hospital a little longer, or it takes a little more time to heal or something like that… but that’s okay. I’m not really knocked off my feet that easily. And you’re there for me, I know that, and that gives me strength. *leans forward and kisses him tenderly* *then looks at him again and quietly says* We’ll get through this together, okay? I’m there for you when you’re scared and you’re there for me when I’m in pain, okay?

Matteo: *nods slightly when he says that he’s allowed to worry* *thinks that he can’t turn it off, anyways* *then listens to him and presses his lips together when he mentions what would happen if something went wrong* *nods slowly when he realizes that he’s right* *still doesn’t want for David to not be okay and hates that this is beyond his power* *lightly kisses him back and puts his hand on his cheek* *quietly says* Okay… *looks at him* I want you to tell me, okay? If something’s wrong… if you’re in pain… don’t play the tough guy for me, ok? And if I can do something, now matter what, then I want you to tell me, okay?

David: *smiles when Matteo agrees and once again feels so much love for this person in front of him, and feels this incredible feeling that they’re really together and that Matteo belongs to him* *then listens to him and reaches for the hand on his cheek* *knows that it’s difficult for him to ask for help and to show weakness but thinks that at least showing his weakness in front of Matteo has already gotten easier* *smiles again slightly and nods* Okay… I’ll try! Really. You know that this is difficult for me, but I promise that I’ll try, okay? *then pulls him into a tight hug and grumbles in pleasure* *murmurs* 3 months from now all of this will be behind us…

Matteo: *smiles slightly at his answer and nods* I know… and you know that I will still be asking all the time… then you’ll have to tell me to shut up… *wraps his arms around him and buries his face in his neck* *murmurs back* Or in 4 months… *grins slightly against his neck and kisses him*

David: *shakes his head when he hears Matteo’s words but then nods and laughs quietly* We’ll see… *also nods about the 4 months and adds* Doesn’t matter… everything will be all right again by the time it’s Christmas at the latest! *slowly lets go of him again and reaches for his glass of champagne* *holds it out to Matteo* To the time after surgery? *grins slightly* *then hears a phone ringing and looks around* *sees Mia grab her phone, sees her grin and hold it out to them when she realizes he and Matteo are looking over at her* *sees Hans’ face on the display and grins as well* *then hears Mia: “He really seems to miss us – even a video call…”* *sees her accept it and hears her say: “Hey, Hans!”* *immediately hears Hans’ voice: “You guys don’t even miss me! You’re all traitorous tomatoes! Linn is at her parents’ and the three of you are hanging around some lakes and none of you is thinking about the fact that I exist, too, and that I’m sitting here alone in an empty apartment – oh – you’ve gotten some tan, Mia honey! Suits you!”*

Matteo: *nods again* Yes, byl Christmas everything will be okay again! *then leans back in his chair again, as well* *reaches for his glass and clinks it with David’s* To the time after the surgery… *takes a sip and puts the glass back down* Actually, I don’t really like champagne… *then looks over at Mia when Hans is calling* *has to laugh at his words and yells* Hans, we miss you every day! *sees Mia turn her phone around and he and David wave into the camera* *sees Alex get up and go inside* *sees Mia turn her phone back again and hears her talking to Hans: “Hans, you do know that we miss you… all the time… we’re back again, soon, all of us!”*

David: *laughs when Matteo says that he actually doesn’t like champagne* Me neither… Next time, we’ll get something else to toast with! *then has to grin when he hears Hans’ voice and realizes in that moment that he also misses him a little* *is also happy about the fact that Hans misses all three of them and that he says it so matter-of-factly as if David were one of his roommates* *also waves at the phone when Mia turns it around to them and hears Hans interrupt her when she turns the phone back toward her: “Was that Alex? Alex honey! I miss you, as well! Don’t go away!” and hears Mia answer: “Too late!” and Hans respond: “I hope he’s not offended that I forgot to mention him. He’s always so quiet and calm that you barely notice him.”* *then hears him sigh: “So, back to the topic: All of you miss me very much, that’s nice! When will you be back again?” and hears Mia answer: “Sunday! We won’t be gone for much longer, honey!” and Hans again: “Oh, hopefully I’ll survive until then. Luckily Linn will probably be back already on Friday. Oh, do you know what, my darlings?! I’ll cook something nice for us! And then we’ll celebrate your return! Alex can also come. And David is already half living here, anyways… and maybe I’ll also invite Michi – he also misses you guys!”* *sees Mia draw up her eyebrows: “Michi is a thing again!”* *looks at Matteo questioningly* Who’s Michi?

Matteo: *has to smile automatically when he listens to Hans’ and Mia’s conversation and realizes that he really misses Hans, as well* *laughs when he mentions Alex and interrupts* David and Alex are best friends now! *looks at Mia in surprise when Hans mentions Michi* *then turns to David when he asks* Michi and Hans had a thing, or they were a couple, but not really, I don’t really know the details, either, but that was half a year or so ago? *then hears Hans tell Mia: “Yes, I met Michi again… accidentally… or fate? Who even knows that for sure! Just imagine, he was standing in line behind me at the bakery and well, you know how that goes, Mia honey, then one word led to the next and since I have the apartment all to myself…”* *sees Mia smile: “I’m happy for you, Hans. That’s nice.”*

David: *nudges Matteo in his side when he yells that Alex and he are best friends now* We’re not! We’re just working on our deeper bond! *grins broadly because he actually thinks it’s really stupid to plan such things* *then listens to Matteo when he tells him about Michi and nods* *doesn’t know if he can really imagine Hans in a committed relationship but is a little curious to meet Michi* *then keeps listening to Hans when he tells Mia: “Don’t be happy just yet. He’s playing boomerang again, but I’m scared about the fact that I’m not as scared about this as I used to be… very scary, all of that… I’m actually way too young to commit… but let’s wait and see… back to you guys: What are you doing all day? How are my butterflies doing? Did you already… whoa… are you guys having champagne!? In the middle of the day!? Without me?”* *hears Mia laugh: “It’s an exception. We have something to celebrate… but hang on, I’ll hand you over to your butterflies – they can tell you all about it…”* *sees Mia get up and hand him her phone* *takes it and then leans his back against Matteo’s chest so that they can both be seen better* *grins at Hans* Hey… *sees Hans beam at them: “Oh, my butterflies! How good to see you! Do you miss your guru?!”* *laughs and nods* Yes, very much! *then hears Hans again: “I wasn’t expecting anything else! But now don’t keep me in suspense any longer! What are you celebrating? Should I also get some champagne to toast with you guys?!”* *sees that he’s already on his way to the kitchen and hears him open the fridge* *laughs again quietly and then says* Ummm… I don’t know, yes, maybe… *then takes a deep breath and says* I have the date for my mastectomy!

Matteo: *grins as he listens to Hans* *can’t really imagine Hans in a committed relationship, either, but thinks that a quiet guy like Michi might do him some good* *then grins into the phone when Mia hands it to David* Hello guru! *only grins and looks at David when he tells him what they’re celebrating* *then sees Hans cheer really loudly, really loudly: “Oh, how great! Oh, my butterfly-boyfriend, that is great news! Hang on, I’ll open the champagne!”* *sees that he puts them aside and can now only see the kitchen ceiling, then hears a pop and something being poured and then sees Hans again, holding a glass of champagne: “Cheers, cheers, my lovelies, to you, David! When is the date? Do you want me to take the day off? You’ll come here afterwards, right? I know, I know, your sister will probably want you with her, but she can also just come over here and then we’ll all make sure that you’re feeling good, okay?”*

David: *flinches slightly when Hans cheers so loudly and laughs when he puts the phone aside* *twists around for a moment to press a kiss to Matteo’s cheek while they wait* *then sees Hans with the glass of champagne and then picks up his own again, after all, to toast with Hans* *then takes a sip and almost chokes due to the flood of things Hans is saying* *grins really broadly and waits until he’s finished* Umm… the date’s September 13th. *gets interrupted: “In two months already?! Woooahhh! I’m so happy! So fast!”* *nods and quickly continues before Hans can* And no, you don’t have to take a day off. Matteo’s there… *then remembers that Matteo’s voluntary year will already have started by then and that he doesn’t really know if it will really be possible for Matteo to be there, but quickly suppresses that thought again and continues* And it’s really super nice that all of you want to take care of me, but I don’t really have a plan for afterwards. I just learned of the date. I still can’t really believe it. Somehow, I first have to realize it for myself that it’s really happening… and then I will start making plans about where I’ll spend the time after the hospital, okay? *sees Hans nod: “Yes, sure – you first have to really understand it… oh man… it’s probably still really unreal to you. I get it. You’re waiting for this day for so long and then it’s happening… Oh, David, can I tell Linn? I’m sure she’ll cry from happiness! Or do you want to tell her yourself?”* *shakes his head* No, tell her, no problem… *is usually a little out of his depths when Linn reacts emotional*

Matteo: *grins even more when Hans is so happy and when he immediately starts to make plans and is simply being awesome* *is once again really happy that it’s really a fact that David now has an entire group of people behind him who are happy for him and who worry about him* *then nods* Yes, exactly, Matteo’s there! *smiles when Hans asks if he can tell Linn and when David tells him that he can* Say hi to Linn from us, ok? And tell her we’re also looking forward to seeing her again on Sunday. *sees Hans nod: “Will do, she’ll be back on Friday, but I’ll call her right now… Have a nice one, my butterflies and keep celebrating!”* *waves into the phone and then sees David putting it aside because Mia has already gone inside* *grins at David* Oh yeah, our Hans…

David: *also says his goodbyes to Hans and then puts Mia’s phone down on the table* *then grins at Matteo, nods and repeats* Our Hans… you immediately look forward to coming back to the flatshare again a little more after that… *then gets more serious, briefly looks at the table and then at Matteo* *hesitates and then says* Your voluntary year will already have started on September 13th… I don’t think that you can already take a day off then. I’ll just have to see… maybe I’ll ask Laura if she’ll come with me… or if she’ll at least be there when I wake up. And you’ll just come by right after you’ve finished work or something like that…? *actually doesn’t really like that thought, because he had expected and been happy about the fact that Matteo would be with him, but thinks that they will probably just have to suck it up*

Matteo: *grins and nods* Yes, that’s somehow true… who would have thought? *looks worried when David gets more serious and then listens to him* *didn’t really think about that* *but still shakes his head* No way… I’ll definitely take the day off… and if they won’t let me, then I’ll just call in sick that day. *shakes his head when David opens his mouth* No objection. Besides, if it will work out at Lambda, then they’ll definitely understand the situation.

David: *smiles slightly when Matteo immediately shakes his head* *briefly thinks that he can’t do this and opens his mouth to object when Matteo already continues* *laughs quietly when Matteo knows exactly that he wanted to object, but then sighs and nods* Okay… let’s just wait and see. Maybe they’ll understand and you can have the day off. But if not… then I’ll somehow manage on my own, okay? I mean, it’s really important for me that you come along, but you and your voluntary year are also important! *thinks that they’re somehow back to the old issue and somehow won’t be able to agree and therefore quickly adds* But let’s just wait and see how your interview goes and then we’ll see, okay? *then hears Kiki yelling from the kitchen: “Can someone start setting the table?”*

Matteo: *listens to him and also has to grin when he realizes that that’s somehow that old argument again* *therefore nods* Okay, let’s wait and see… *leans forward and kisses him* *but then murmurs* I’m sure I’ll get the day off… *then hears Kiki and gets up* Guess that was our cue. *yells back* We’re coming!

David: *spends the rest of the day in the company of the others, where they all go swimming again in the afternoon and use the raft again and just rampage around* *remembers every once in a while that he now has a date for the surgery and gets flooded by this incredible feeling of happiness every time* *is really tired in the evening and after his eight hours are up, peels himself out of his binder some time before dinner* *has to grin a lot while doing so because he realizes that this will all be over in two months – that he’ll never have to worry about how long he’s wearing the binder, because he just won’t need it anymore* *feels like that prospect is giving him strength and feels a little less uncomfortable when he finally shows up for dinner in his hoodie* *they all spend the evening together at the campfire with marshmallows and campfire, bread-on-a-stick and Jonas’ guitar* *has a lot of fun singing with everyone which sometimes sounds really off but sometimes also really cool* *at some point he’s lying in the tent with Matteo, this time being the little spoon, and after they had talked a little and wished each other a good night, he thinks back on the day’s events* *is really overwhelmed by all his feelings at some point, with all the relief and this still really surreal feeling that he really has a date for his surgery in two months, with happiness and gratefulness and also a little fear and excitement, and suddenly this lump in his throat is back and tears are welling up in his eyes* *grips Matteo’s hand on his stomach a little tighter and pulls him a little closer* *is so glad and grateful and happy that he won’t have to go through all of this on his own, that Matteo is there and that he can share his happiness as well as his fears with him* *takes a few deep and shaky breaths and tries to somehow calm down so that he can fall asleep*

(next play)

#druck #og druck #matteo florenzi #david schreibner #davenzi #davenzi plays

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