#A little of angst but just for context | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lynnarang · 9 months

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Past Curfew

(This is a little excerpt between two of my characters that happened between scenes in an rp my girlfriend and me are doing. It might not make full sense out of context but I thought I would share it anyway)

Scenes of her teenage self sneaking in after curfew played in Arang's head as she quietly unlocked the front door of her apartment, desperately hoping that her girlfriend had already gone to sleep and wouldn't see the state she was in. But just as her guardian had always been there to deliver her a stern talking-to her then, Sephina awaited her in the living room despite the late hour.

For a moment Arang hesitated, considering running off and finding somewhere else to stay tonight or lurking in the shadows and trying to get to the bathroom to tend her wounds before her girlfriend could catch her. Unfortunately for her, before she could decide on a new plan of action, the angel girl's halo twitched and she looked up just in time to see Arang silently enter the doorway.

"It's about time! Do you know how long I waited for y- what the fuck happened to you babe?!"

Sephina didn't even have time to finish being mad at Arang before her eyes landed onto the mess of an arm the demon-wolf was clutching at her side. "It's nothing, just got into a bit of a scrap-" "A BIT of a scrap? Your arm looks like it's barely hanging on by the tendons!"

It wasn't *that* bad, Arang mumbled as her angel girlfriend rushed over to her to take a closer look. The 'little scrap' Arang had been in during her night job had lead to her left arm being halfway severed near where it met her shoulder. But only halfway.

"It's fine, it'll heal in a few days, it takes a lot more than that-- kill me..."

Arang's words trailed off towards the end as Sephina fixed her with a glare. Her unnaturally red eyes normally gleamed like beautiful rubies, but Arang swore they turned to flames when the angel got mad at something. Sephina was dragging Arang to the living room now, grabbing a handful of medical supplies on the way.

"I'm well aware of that! Just as I'm aware of the multitude of other non-death horrible things that could happen to you! In case you weren't aware, I don't exactly like seeing my girlfriend horribly wounded and in pain either!"

Sephina spoke harshly as she treated Arang's wounds, clearly upset with how skilled she'd gotten at the process.

"What if you got hurt so badly you couldn't even make it home? What if you lost control and hurt someone while you were out there? What if you got captured and tortured and I never saw you again?" Arang cringed. This was the part she hated the most, the reason she'd tried to avoid this encounter. The guilt. "None of that is going to happen.." "You don't know that! Fuck, with how often stuff like this happens it almost seems like..." Sephina exclaimed harshly as she finished tying one of the several bandages she'd grabbed. Arang went silent, feeling some of the pent-up aggression from her unfinished battle from early rising back to the surface.

"Seems like what?"

Her words came out harsher than she meant for them to, almost as a growl rather than a question. Sephina was taken aback by this, wings anxiously flapping behind her before her gaze settled back into a glare.

"Like you want something to happen. Like you're just waiting for a job to go wrong and kill you for real-" Arang started to say something but bit her lip to silence herself before she could get the words out. She could see the tears brimming in Sephina's eyes. She was genuinely afraid- she probably had been since Arang had failed to make it home in time.

"Babe, that's not... That's not true. I'm sorry." The demon reached her still-functional hand for her lover's cheek but the angel batted her arm away.

"If it's not then quit taking these stupid jobs already. Stop making me sit alone at night and imagine all the scenarios where you never come back through that door."

Arang winced. Now Sephina was crying for real. Fuck.

"It's not that easy baby..." Sephina's face scrunched up in anger as tears continued to trek down her cheeks, only to relax a moment later. Her expression was almost mournful as she shook her head.

"No, nothing's ever that easy with you is it? Why do I even bother, getting so worked up when there's nothing I can do?"

Dread sunk into a pit in Arang's stomach as she struggled to find the words to placate her girlfriend. She couldn't just stop working, Sephina had to realize that right? And there wasn't a lot of alternatives for... for someone like her. This was something she had to do. But it still pained her to upset her girlfriend this much...

Sephina cleaned up the rest of Arang's wounds in quiet as neither of them could find the words to keep the conversation going. The largest wound wasn't something that could really be treated simply but Sephina gave it her best shot, and by the time she was done it was well past 2AM.

"Babe I'm sorry. Can we talk..."

Arang tried to call out to Sephina as the latter started to clean up the absurd amount of medical supplies she'd gotten out.

"Not tonight. Let's just go to bed. I'm tired and I have to be up in a few hours."

Sephina was curt, not even meeting Arang's eyes as she spoke, and by the time the demon managed to follow her back to their bedroom she'd already collapsed into the bed with the covers pulled over herself. With a final sigh of defeat, Arang turned the lights off and lowered herself into bed facing the other way from her girlfriend.

No matter how exhausted she felt, sleep never found her for long that night.

#empty spaces #microfiction #writing #my ocs #arang schütze #sephina fairheart #i tried to make it mostly make sense even without context #angst #cw: gore #but just like a little

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lostinbooks14 · 8 months

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Times in the Wilderness

Leo comes to the Wilderness School

Leo had his head down in the car, his face buried in the paper bag in his hands as he tried to keep himself from vomiting.

Goddammit he hated cars. He hated wherever he was going too. And the stupid court for saying he had to go there. And all his stupid foster parents and his stupid Tìa and his stupid fire curse and his stupid self for ruining everything.

"Leo," his social worker sitting next to him called sharply. She was middle-aged. Probably in her late forties, with light brown hair pulled back in a bun. She was about his height, but he couldn't really tell because of her heels. She was wearing a frilly green blouse and black tight skirt. He thought she was trying too hard.

She'd been really nice to him the first few times they met, but eventually she'd given up. He couldn't blame her. He'd been in eight foster homes and orphanages in the last five years, run away from six of them- her patience was probably wearing thin.

When they caught him five days after he ran away from his eighth home, he'd been taken to court. They said they'd put him in a mental hospital if he ran away again. And he'd overheard his social worker saying she'd be fired if he didn't find a home soon.

"Leo, are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry, m'am," he mumbled, glancing up from the paper bag for a split second.

"Look, kid, I don't know why you keep running-"

"I told you he-"

She ignored him just like everyone else did, "But I need you to stay put this time, ok? My job's on the line here. I've got a kid who's college fees I need to afford, and another who's getting married soon."

"What if someone hurts me?" He mumbled, tears stinging the back of his eyes. Everything was happening way too fast.

"This is a school for children like you," he knew what that meant, delinquents "Teachers are always on the lookout for any signs of bullying. You'll be fine."

He didn't say anything, what was there left to say anyway? She always said he'll be fine everytime he was taken to a new home. He never was.

They'd finished going over the bumpy roads now, he could see the school just up ahead.

It was just a normal building, victorian style, no barbed wire fences or barred windows. Appearances can be deceiving, he knew that better than anyone. But no bars was good. He would've gone insane if he'd been locked behind bars, especially after that incident.

OK, he was not going to think about that.

Or about where they were taken to after it.

Or about what happened when they ran away.

Or about where he was taken to after it.

Yup, he could do this. Totally.

"Leo, we're here."

He got out, leaning on the door of the car for a few seconds to get the puke taste out of his mouth before taking his backpack. It was blue and worn and held every possession he had left. It had been with him for six years now. It was probably his best friend at this point.

A smiling man met them at the door. "Hello, you must be Leo and Mrs.Patroner. I'm Mr.Donovan, head teacher here. We're very delighted to have you here." Somehow Leo doubted it, he could clearly see the sweat on his bald head. "Let's go talk in my office, shall we?"

The school looked old, he supposed it would've looked grand if it weren't for the dirt and mud splatters on the carpet. There were high ceilings and steep wooden stairs curving up eight stories. He couldn't see any machines anywhere, not even a lift. He really hoped the dorms weren't at the top. The thing that caught his eye, though, was the fireplace.

He shrank back from the golden flames involuntarily. They were dancing and licking at the wooden logs, and Leo felt that familiar tugging sensation in his gut. It always appeared when he was close to flames, as if they were calling out to him. Begging him to make them hotter and brighter and stronger. Leo turned away.

"Leo Valdez, yes? You've got quite the resume here," the man laughed nervously. "So, uhm, you'll be boarding with four other boys-"

"Couldn't he have a private room?" Mrs.Patroner interrupted, glancing at him nervously. "He's had a bit of a rough time over the past year," Wow understatement of the year- "so it's probably better if he could stay alone?"

Mr.Donovan looked confused. "Why?"

Mrs.Patroner looked uncomfortable so he spoke up.

"I'm a psycho, sir. I have violent tendencies. Killed a bunch o' people last year," he nodded at his file, forcing himself to keep his voice steady. It'd be worth it if he could get a room alone. He didn't want to talk to anyone any more than he had to. He pretended to count on his fingers, as if their faces hadn't been haunting his nightmares for weeks "Like three, right?"

"He didn't do it on purpose!" his social worker cried, glaring daggers at him. "And the term psycho is very strong, Leo. You can't just throw it around."

"Just saying what you were thinking, m'am," he shrugged.

"Well, uhm, I'm sorry, miss," the head teacher started, choosing to just ignore him. That was fine with him. "You need to pay extra for private quarters. As for the therapy sessions the court ordered, he will have two per week to start with. Ms.Loraine is very nice. Leo can talk with her after you leave. Get his school schedule and all that. Afterwards he'll be assigned a student to show him around. I'm thinking Piper McLean, she's here because of her tendency to steal, but other than that, she's a very sweet child. He'll be getting his uniform and books from the school of course. And he's been assigned to Year 10, though he should be in Year 7, since he's still twelve. I must say he's got an excellent mind."

"Got that from my pops," he grinned, Mrs.Patroner looked at him wearily. "He was mighty good at running away too ya know. Took off three days after I popped out, or so I heard."

Thankfully a knock on the door prevented anyone from reacting.

"That must be Ms.Loraine. Come in!"

A lady came in, dressed in a nice beige coloured business suit with her golden shoulder length hair curling around her shoulders. She wore a white shirt under her coat, a gold chain encircling her throat. Her eyes were large and green. She looked young. Leo bet all his money- well he would've if he had any- that guys went to therapy just to stare at her.

"Good afternoon! I'm the school therapist. You must be Leo."

His social work gave an encouraging nod.

"Yes, miss."

"Come with me to my office? I'll talk you over the school rules, the subjects you'll be taking, and about your mental health for about an hour. After that classes will end and Piper will meet you at my office."

"Sure. See ya m'am," Leo gave a mock salute and practically ran out the door.

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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sorry for buying so much snake jewelry i promise im not a majima stan

#snap chats #DISJSK AWFUL THING I REALIZED TODAY #for context my chinese zodiac is a metal snake #which wouldnt be anything on its own if my mom didnt have an extreme fear and hatred for snakes LMAOOOOO #its ironic you see. so i get snake jewelry for good luck :]#i bought a little snake ear. ??? like it goes around the uhh.... hold on #its an ear cuff <- dumbest bitch alive took five minutes to find and check the package #on the plus side i found the ring i thought i lost :) that caused me to buy another ring... cause my fingie felt naked.....#to the blokes working at zumies and hot topic im so sorry for makin yall look for it im stupid 😭#OH BUT ON TOPIC RIGHT.#yeah i also have a snake ring yeah- and yk i wear Metal cause Hehe Metal Snake #and it took me getting the snake cuff to be like.... hey am i just... getting majima-adjacent jewelry...#all snakes relate to majima dont you know #its why i keep sendig bestie pics of snake jewelry i find 🥰#but yeah i also got two new cross rings. one to replace the ring i thought i lost ☠️#but yeah i got em cause my mom also hates crosses #‘snap youre embarrassing please get over your mom being mean to you’ i will literally never #i didnt have a teenage angst phase i was too numb in my teens to do it right alright. let me have this #also wait no who said that your early twenties was just like. being a kid with adult money.#cause my sister co-signed me on that and yeah. like not old enough to be an Adult adult #but old enough to be an adult but your also an idiot. a big ass idiot who doesnt know anything yet.#I AM RAMBLING ANYWAYS im driving home now :] very happy with what i got today....#might draw daigo or masato in the bullshit i got... because i love projecting... BYE

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note-boom · 2 years

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I don't know. Maybe I'm just underestimating how truly weird and creepy manga romances can get in action seinen/shounen....

But can I point out how...strangely averse BSD is towards general romancey things? And how the only times it's brought it up is in a weird context?

Aka, Tanizaki siblings, Kyouka and Atsushi (not between them cause I don't think they're even considering it; I mean Fitzgerald making that comment), Aya proposing to Kunikida, Higuchi's...odd feelings for Akutagawa (Ch. 88, the way she pulled back when she thought Aku was gonna go in for something?), Dazai and his....yeah. And even those things kinda fizzle out and are so backgroundish.

I'm not sure if this kind of lack of romance/sex/fanservice is normal in action stuff (my anime/manga list is very short and HIGHLY filtered thanks to friends), but I am curious about it....

#i may reblog to add more thoughts if they come by the time this queues but idk #but yeah...basically the reason i like bsd is because philosophical/literary angst + very little romance #maybe it's to honor the irl authors?#and while i wonder at atsushi and lucy im honestly BAD at picking up romantic subtext and asides from blushy embarrassed moments...#i dont really see it?#but yeah....#the only times bsd even brings up romance is in weird contexts and i find that intriguing #and also disturbing because i know mangas seriously have some strange notions....#anyway i have repeated the same words like five different ways #also random but i absolutely adore how the fandom completely ignores said canon weird romances and ships their own thing #like you go guys #rambling in the tags sorry #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd musings #too lazy to tag all the characters #oh yeah there was also that one panel where fukuchi teased fukuzawa about some hometown sweetheart?#idk I'll just continue to take the no romo excelt when weird attitude of bsd and scream over the angst #idk what to think tbh...#spitting nonsense

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m0e-ru · 2 years

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izanami tv host au except i dont know what's going on either

#persona 4 spoilers #p4 #izanami persona #marie persona #mayonaka terebi suteeshon #⛽️🌫#//it diverted from that .for a little context #arttag #boot.tingting #//this is an au im willing to develop outside the poor solitude of discord because it's too ridiculous to make sense out of #// 'but you just thought of proper angst right before this' keep quiet mim has cuecards that has bullshit written on it #//you can probably ask me more about it i thought of this while watching the frogs

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pyrriax · 1 year

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sincere doubts anybody will actually see this, but i wanted to do a poll anyways just because i want opinions

elaboration because Room:

i'm debating adding more chapters because i feel like the current+upcoming parts need more breathing room. i'm realizing the ending of the fic feels a bit rushed (at least imo) so. yeah.

#haunted ecosystem #au: where the dust settles #boo its a poll #for context: originally the next chapter is the end of the prison arc. its REALLY short-lived as it is #i mean it'll mostly just be giving stuff breathing room (and more character development + elaboration for pandora. which i don't think #anybody would really mind? you just get to see how he handles this stuff. i could give a little treat of some more interaction with #sylvester to make up for the angst party we have going rn)#idk im just debating. i was so SET on this being 30 chapters but now im realizing it needs a bit more time.#i could condense a couple of chapters into one so that i have the room while also being able to elaborate on this stuff #but also condensing those would mean like. a 10k chapter #which i'm trying pretty damn hard to avoid so i don't burn myself out

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samsspambox · 2 years

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have some angst before i go to sleep

#untitled neil angst fic #no context just write #sam rambles #honestly posting little snippets helps with keeping me accountable LMAOO #we got a good 1k word dump today but idk who long this one will be #gonna work on letting the news rip to artem and wont that be fun #but idk what to do after #oooh wait i just had an idea #what if i make neil watch some arty home videos that sounds good right #but also neil hiding from artem would be great too #oh here's a kicker i have planned: neil is going to remember celestine and mc #im evil but im giving baby artem later so jksbksb

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queensconquest · 2 years

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LIKE for a short quote starter based from my muses’ PINTEREST BOARD. Please specify the muse or muses for multiple !

#〉the angst empress〈 — ✭ ⌜ooc⌟#maybe 1-3 sentences of context if needed #but probably just the quote #i'll do these in a little bit

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a-random-vessel · 2 years

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Take this sketch that i'll never ever finish.

#oh i'll never finish this #hk #hollow knight #hollow knight oc #vessel oc #digital sketch #angst #ibispaintx #i just started it too #then i remembered #hopefully i'll get the energy to finish this #the context that i'm currently thinking is that all the none pure vessels are plopped into the Abyss #same goes for are little friend here

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chuluoyi · 7 months

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fear

- gojo satoru x reader

his best friend’s defection is still a hard topic for him to swallow, and it leads into an unexpected argument that spurs you to leave, only to unlock a new fear in him when you get into an unfortunate accident afterwards.

genre/warnings: angst, gojo being mean, one scene with a worried nanami *wink*, injured reader, hurt/comfort, fluff in the end

notes: *sigh* my coping mechanism is still gojo’s past arc, which is why this piece takes place on that timeline. just a little context: reader is in the same class with nanami & haibara and was in the same mission that took haibara's life. this is probably the longest oneshot i've written so far sooo… enjoy! :)

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

A year and a half had passed since Suguru embarked on his path as a curse user. In that one year and a half, Satoru had finished his last year at Jujutsu High, and now was in the halls of his alma mater, speaking to the newly appointed headmaster who was none other than his teacher.

"You're applying to become a teacher?" Yaga asked again with a frown. He still couldn't wrap his head around it. Granted, he was his most troublesome pupil. "Why, Satoru?"

"If I said it's because I want to train young sorcerers to be strong, would you believe me?"

That was not a lie. It was actually 50% of his main reasons anyway. The other 50% was to repent what he missed with Suguru when he chose his dark path—his contempt with the current system of this jujutsu world.

"I would," Yaga responded gruffly. To him, Satoru was irritating, but he also knew that he was also extremely capable, and thus everything he did wasn't just out of nowhere. "But you still have to submit your applications. We can't make an exception even if you come from a prestigious clan."

"That's fine with me," he grinned. "Thanks, sensei."

On summer days, he'd get reminded of Suguru and silly things they had done together. Eating shaved ice, cycling together, driving either you, Shoko or Nanami mad. Satoru missed those days, it hadn't been the same ever since. Not knowing if his best friend was alright—if he was still alive at all—was exhausting.

Sometimes, he felt like he was the only one who was affected by his departure, the only one who stayed right where Suguru left him. Shoko didn't seem ruffled, if anything she just went to more bars and pachinko parlors as of late. Nanami was always a recluse, he never disclosed his feelings. You mourned him, but it was clear that most part of you would always be more focused on Haibara's death.

Satoru understood that he couldn't force anyone to feel what he felt, and he had no right to. But sometimes, he just wanted someone to connect with at his level. Someone to get him just like Suguru did.

And so when he got back to his condo that night—just right next to the one he rented for Megumi and Tsumiki, since he had moved out of his dorm—to find his girlfriend there with a big smile and a tray of cupcakes, unaware of everything and anything, he merely scoffed to himself.

"Satoru, you're back," you acknowledged, beaming like the sunshine you were. "I just baked these for the kids. Do you want some?"

Usually he'd smother you, throw some pickup lines here and there and say yes, but today, he just felt drained. "No." And with that, he stalked away to the bathroom, not glancing back at you.

It was wrong. But tonight he just wanted some peace and quiet, and so keeping his silence seemed to be the best choice as he didn't want to start a pointless argument with you. But you weren’t anything but observant, and definitely noticed that something was amiss with him.

"Are you... alright?" You approached him warily after he came out of the bathroom with wet hair. "Where were you today?"

"Just somewhere," he replied curtly. Afterwards he turned on the hairdryer, drowning the whole place with the noise even as you stood behind him with a visible question mark.

But you were still there after he dried his hair. "Is something bothering you?" you asked with a tilt of your head, concerned. By all means, you mean well. You just wanted to know if he could use your help at all.

When you pulled that expression, he couldn't help feeling annoyed, like he wanted you to take a hint, but you just didn't. "If you know, then just shut it."

It was probably the first time since the two of you got together that Satoru actually said something harsh. But you still tried to be reasonable though, bless you.

"Satoru, I don't know what got into your nerves like this, but I think sleeping through it might help. Have a rest."

"Why are you talking as if you know it?" he snapped, finally turning to you with his cold gaze. "You might not know anything, so don't be a know-it-all. Just mind your own business."

Now you were frustrated with his reply. "Once again, I don't know what happened to you. But if you're taking it out on me because I'm the closest you have—"

"Who said that?" Satoru didn't know where he got all this venom from. It was just at the forefront of his mind and he just got the urge to spew it. "You're considering yourself closest to me? Where did you get that big head from?"

You were aghast, and you blinked a few times to get your bearings. "Let me guess, it's about Geto-san, isn't it? Or the higher ups. Either of that must be what causing you to blindly place your anger on me."

"So what if it was? It isn't like you'll understand anyway."

"Satoru," you started, trying to even your breathing. "What happened to Geto-san isn't your fault. I've been telling you this. It can't be helped—"

"Can't be helped?" he jeered. "Do you know why it has come to this?" his tone took a dangerous edge as he stepped closer. He reached for you, grasping your wrist.

"Maybe because I was too blind back then. If it weren't for you—if only I didn't spend that much time on you, maybe he would still be here."

Did he just say that? Did he just imply that he had regretted the two of you getting together?

You felt your lower lip start to tremble and something seemed to obscure and blur your vision, making it hard to see him clearly. "You... don't mean that."

"Really?" the corner of his lips curled into a disparaging smile. "You never know. Before you know it, this can be over already. After all, I could have anyone out there that I want. Maybe someone less nosey than—”

That did it. You wrenched your arm out of his grip violently, as your first tear fell. His smirk vanished too, replaced with a total stillness to cover his sudden panic that was followed by a sudden sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach.

"You selfish, self-obsessed jerk," you hissed through watery eyes. He was taken aback, even amidst your anger and possible fear of him, your still managed to throw daggers at him. "Fine. You have it. I'll see myself out."

Satoru never wanted you to leave. Honestly, he would've made you stay. But he wasn't in the right state of mind and it was too late to take back what he said. He didn't want to mess this up even further.

You left the cupcakes, even throwing it away just to spite him. Driven by pain and humiliation, you choked back your sob and didn't spare a glance at him as you shut the door.

Peace and quiet. There he had it, he thought as he clenched his fists, at the cost of everything else.

Leaving that condo, every step you took felt like needles piercing your shattered heart. You wiped your tears roughly. No, you refused to cry over such asshole. He made it clear, didn't he? Whatever it was that you two shared, it was at the cost of his best friend leaving him. So now the blame was on you.

If you were thinking clearly, you would've understood that his words were likely a result of his own pent-up pain and frustration that he had kept to himself for some while. But you had no patience for that or even pinpoint what you felt right now—anger, disappointment or dread, or perhaps all three. You just felt wrongly accused.

Your feet brought you back to your dorm in the school. Now it wasn't as bustling as it once were. After Satoru and Shoko's graduation, you didn't really get close to anyone. There was Ichiji, but he treated you more like a mentor rather than a classmate.

As you sank into the comforts of your bed, You replayed the events, trying to find where it went wrong—and found nothing. After all, you had already said all that could be said. It wasn't just him who lost Geto, but you, Shoko and Nanami did too, but it was more convenient for Satoru to blame everyone else rather than trying to understand that they too shared this pain.

Nevertheless, you were disappointed. You didn't expect half of what he spouted, and it got you doubting everything you had.

"You've royally fucked up."

Satoru exhaled, glaring at Shoko through the corner of his eyes. "Yeah, maybe."

The reverse cursed technique user threw him a blank stare, taking in everything from his disheveled hair to his wrinkled trousers. "Gojo, as much as I can’t care less about your sorry ass, I'm saying this not out of concern for you, but rather for Y/N. You are an asshole."

The puff of smoke she blew expanded to create a cloud-like shape. "Yaga-sensei was our teacher. His student is now a mass murderer and wanted dead. Can you even imagine how he feels? And I can't believe I'm saying this—but weren't there three of us?"

A week had gone by and instead of doing the right thing like trying to get into your good graces, Satoru was in Shoko's infirmary in the headquarters instead. He didn't exactly know what he was looking for by going here. Maybe some lingering taste of his happier student days, and Shoko was the only one remaining.

Three of us, huh... she was right. That was precisely why he came here after all.

"You're just sulking because it seems no one cares about your best friend being the best there is. But have you thought about how our juniors also lost Haibara? Right in front of their eyes? Haibara was our friend too."

He was wrong, of course he was. Satoru realized that now. But it felt wrong to ask for your forgiveness now, not to mention the disrupting thought he had—should he let you go for good altogether?

The phone suddenly rang with such fervor that made Shoko utter a swear word. She was on call duty for the rescue team today, and it was supposedly a peaceful day until Satoru decided to barge in to become her company. "Hello? Ichiji? What—speak clearly, I can't hear you."

She switched it to loudspeaker. "...iri-san! Ieiri-san—h-help—please—"

It was noisy, and blaring at the same time, and Ichiji was... Sobbing? Choking? His voice was terribly muffled and—

"L/N-san!" he cried, and Satoru remembered at that moment that you should be in a mission with Ichiji, he remembered you telling him before.

"Hic—s-she fell... hic—she fell! B-blood! She i-is bleeding so much! I-Ieiri-san—hic—s-send help! Please!"

"Hey, stay awake. Breathe. Just breathe."

Everything hurt. Most notably, your head. You could hardly think straight when all you felt was blinding pain and how your breaths came in short wheezes.

Your vision was blurry. The numbness had started to set in and chills ran up and down your spine. You couldn't make out who in front of you was. Was it Ichiji, who went with you in this mission? The only thing that glared was blue.

"You can't sleep, you hear me?" the voice was commanding, willing you to do his bidding. It was familiar, but usually his tone of voice was much lighter, happier.

Satoru.

But why was he here? He wasn't in this mission. It was supposed to be a mission for you and Ichiji.

You remembered getting the cursed spirit after manifesting your domain expansion, until in its last ditch attempt, it went after Ichiji. You had no choice—even when your cursed energy had burned out, you still shoved him away at the cost of being flung from the top of a building.

Not again. Not after Haibara. You’d gladly pay the price if it meant you didn't have to see anyone die in front of you again.

"I..." You managed to croak out—breathing hurt, and you felt your hands being grasped tightly.

"Hey, just breathe. Y/N. Look at me.” Through your blurry haze, you focused on that cold blue, and you saw him. Satoru's sharp eyes, pursed lips and frown. He's really here.

Satoru always said that if there was a cursed spirit apocalypse, then Ichiji would be the first to die. You used to scold him for that, but now as you a laid here possibly dying in your own pool of blood, you found it to be true.

Yet at the same time you knew that with him here, Ichiji must be safe already, and it gave you reassurance so great even when you were on the verge of dying. "I... can't..."

"Yes, you can. Just look at me," he firmly rebuked, his voice came out in a hiss. For all the time you had been with him, you had never heard him so forceful. "If you close your eyes now, I won't forgive you. So please, just hang in there."

It was a struggle to take in any air and darkness encroached on your vision as your consciousness began slipping away.

And everything faded to nothingness.

Satoru honestly thought he had no fears. His worst fear had fully realized after all—Suguru going away into the darkness. What more could he possibly fear?

But when he heard Ichiji's distress call for rescue team, about how you fell from a rooftop of a building and unconscious, he realized that it was a fear he didn't know existed. His mind got disoriented and he teleported to the scene on impulse. He just had to see it for himself. With their petty argument still lacking closure, he felt even worse.

And the sight before him gave him so much fright he never thought was possible.

It was a mistake, he should have brought Shoko along.

You had laid there like a broken doll, your eyes dimmed, and not been able to breathe. He desperately tried to keep you awake, his presence beside you, yet it didn't seem to matter. He watched helplessly as you passed out in his arms.

Satoru felt nothing. The panic that had set in was suddenly gone as your limp body slumped against him, replaced by incessant ringing in his ears and tremor wracking his nervous system. It wasn't long until the rescue team came to retrieve you and even then he still felt numb. He rejected the idea that you might possibly die on him.

That went on until Shoko, who assisted in the emergency treatment, came out of the surgery, sweat on her forehead.

"It's even worse than the aftermath of the guardian deity mission last year," Shoko explained with a grim expression. "Her brain has sustained damage and it affects everything. It may take her quite a while before she can go back to the field."

When she said that, Satoru felt terror washed over him again. You almost died—was all he perceived.

The two of you had no contact for a week just because of his ego. He could still recall that day with vivid clarity, feeling a burning ache in his chest. If someone were to ask him what heartbreak was like, now he certainly would he able the to tell them the two instances in which he experienced them. What he felt now mirrored the same stinging sensation he had felt when Suguru left him.

He visited you when he was allowed to, and you were still unconscious, with many machines connected to your body. It was a sight he still couldn’t bring himself to get used to. He had seen you injured before, but never seen you in your own pool of blood, so this made him feel sick to his stomach.

"Stupid," he whispered, gently rubbing your forehead. His eyes remained fixated on you as you rested, his insides still churning with emotions. "You're not weak, and you're not hopeless." Once upon a time, Satoru might have thought of you as weak, but now he knew better.

"So why you always pick the worst decision?" The more he thought this could've been avoided, the more irked he was. The thought that he could have done something to prevent it intensified the sting of guilt, and he continued to punish himself with it.

And the more he dwelled on the idea that he had hurt you prior to this, the tighter his breath became.

But that was who you were. Self-sacrificing to a fault. And he loved you for that. There was no way of him letting you go now.

It astonished even himself—that he was capable of this love thing. At first it was an attraction, but now that you had been going on for more than a year, it felt like it was no longer a silly infatuation after all.

"Hurry and wake up, will you?" Satoru gently brushed your hair aside, his eyes fixed on you. He didn't know it even as his gut twisted, his frown deepened and his touch quivered, that he was worried sick. "I have a lot to make up for."

And he left you with a tender brush of his lips against your forehead.

Nanami Kento was the first person you saw when you awoke from coma.

You struggled to regain your senses, still feeling absolutely broken. The dull throb on the back of your head was still there, and as if you had found yourself trapped in a fog, you were only able to move sluggishly.

"You're awake?" his gruff voice greeted, laced with concern. In his hand were a bucket of fresh flowers and fruits basket, which he soon placed at the table next to your bed.

It was unexpected, because ever since the tragedy that costed Haibara's life, the two of you had been drifting apart.

You nodded, and let out a hum in response—all you could manage at the moment.

"Thank God." Nanami sounded relieved as he pinched the bridge between his eyes, and you were moved that he had shown this degree of concern.

Your remaining classmate, who suffered the burden of Haibara's life just like you. He was always quiet or brooding somewhere, hiding his own feelings.

You felt tears pricking the corner of your eyes. The fact that he visited you meant that he hadn't decided to cut you out of his life yet.

"Gojo-san is out today, but he'll be back by afternoon," he said, mistranslating your tears as some sort of a want to have your annoying—ex?—boyfriend at your side.

The two of you were still not on talking terms, weren’t you?

You so badly wanted to say thank you to him—and tell him that no, you weren't looking for Satoru—but it came out hoarse and barely above a whisper.

"Huh?" Nanami then realized what you were trying to say, and a faint smile graced his lips. "Just... get well soon, L/N. Have a good rest."

Just before you drifted back to sleep, you could hear him sigh and mutter, "Hello, Gojo-san? L/N has awakened. Just letting you know is all.”

You weren't sure how much time had passed when you woke up the second time, but the curtains were already drawn and only darkness came from the window. Your body felt lighter, but you still felt like a mess and and couldn't help but groan in discomfort.

Satoru was there, he perked up at the noise you made. And you realized that it was the first time in about a week that he faced you after that disasterous almost-breakup.

He walked up to you, his expression was more hopeful than you had ever seen him before, like a kid whose wish had been granted. He slowly shifted to sit beside you.

"Hey, welcome back." His voice was soft. It was a change of pace for him, as you were used to seeing him all loud and silly.

Now your voice no longer sounds like a lead. "Hey."

"How are you feeling?" he asked and you took a moment to look at him. He was smiling, but exhaustion reached his bright eyes, dimming them. "You know, with the whole you passing out and almost dying thing?"

His words were almost humorous as he spoke, like he didn't know what else to say except try to lighten the mood, but there was also a strain on his tone, like he was holding back.

"I'm quite fine now, I suppose..." You still felt the lingering pain and dizziness as you slowly sat up. Satoru reached out to steady you—and you realized how his fingers trembled when they made contact with your body—as his brows furrowed with worry when you winced.

"You don't look like it though." His voice dropped and the humor was gone, replaced by this haunted look. You blinked. It was probably the first time you had seem him this ruffled.

He immediately pulled you into a hug, cradling your head to his neck gently, as if to protect and shield you from the world altogether. Exhaling heavily, he leaned on you. "You scared me, you know that?"

You wondered out loud if you really had that hold over him. "Did I?"

"You can't do that to me, you hear?" Satoru stroked your hair, nuzzling his face on the crook of your neck. His voice quivered. “Don't ever do that again.”

He pulled you tighter against him, but still careful not to crush you.

You let out a snicker, letting go of everything you felt during this horrible week. "Heh, afraid to lose me, huh?"

"Shut up,” he grumbled. “What were you thinking anyway? How did you calculate that freefalling is better than letting that cursed spirit attack Ichiji?”

"He was defenseless. He could die, you know that."

"And you also can," he quipped, upset, pulling away enough to look you squarely in the eyes, his eyes devoid of any expression, yet filled with a raging wave that you could only interpret as undiluted concern.

The emphasis in his tone made you recoil and feel guilty. If you were in his shoes, you probably would've said the same thing and so you had nothing to say to that.

But the more pressing agenda in the list was the unspoken silent treatment the two of you saw fit to use against each other for the last few days. Satoru was the one who decided to address it first.

"About that night..." he faltered, looking away. "I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry."

Satoru always had trouble processing emotions. This time too. He must've a hard time dealing with the anxiety caused by the possibility of him losing you for good, no matter how much he tried to be unaware of it.

"..." You wanted to respond, to make him understand your point, but somehow right now you were just too weary. And he sensed your reluctance. So you blurted the first thing that gnawed at your mind.

“You said you could have any other women out there—”

"No, really—" he started to panic, and it was blatantly too, which surprised you. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Us. I don't regret anything. I’m not breaking up with you. Being with you is the happiest I've been ever since Suguru left."

“That's...” you blinked, before letting out a small sigh. “Okay. Fine then. Let's just put it behind us for now.”

“I—” he almost wheezed, his bright blue eyes were overtaken with sheer urgency to explain how wrong everything had been that night. “You must know that I didn’t mean any of it. And that I hate hurting you the way I did. I won’t—”

"Satoru, I understand," you let out another sigh, fidgeting with your fingers. "Sometimes when I’m reminded of Haibara, I also get sad. I don't want to presume but I think I know how you feel. Just next time, maybe," you shifted your gaze on him, seeing how you had his attention fully. Gojo Satoru, the strongest now, was looking at you as if you had his fate in your hands. "Just tell me if you need space and I would have understood."

"Yeah, okay, sure," he responded immediately, relieved, before a lopsided grin appeared on his face, turning him back into your dork slash boyfriend. "So, am I forgiven now?"

"A thank you would be nice."

In the end, he chuckled, seemingly resigned. "You should sleep more."

He positioned himself into bed next to you, and you let him pull you into his chest again. You could feel how his taut back started to relax upon the contact. He pressed his lips on your forehead in a fleeting kiss.

"Promise me you won't pull that stunt again.”

You smirked. "I can't. What if Ichiji—"

"Then just let him die."

You swatted his arm playfully, pressing your head to his chest as he continued to run his fingers on your hair. He cushioned you carefully, and you felt the tension in him slowly melt away with each breath you took. In your mind, you figured he needed this closeness more than you did, if anything, for the sake of his sanity.

“I love you,” he whispered by your ear, kissing it lightly.

“Mmhm.”

As you felt Satoru's calming presence, it helped ease you into slumber. You soon found yourself in a deep sleep, comfortably held in his embrace.

Epilogue

Ichiji gulped as Satoru stared him down, sizing him up as if he was the most despicable creature on this planet.

Okay, he might be. He was a coward, all he could do was trembling in the face of evil. But he had come in peace, even bringing fruits as an offering! He felt bad too that he was the partial cause for you to be this injured.

He was used to Satoru terrorizing him—calling him names, slapping him, and whatnot—and he could take it. Just this time, he really looked like he could murder him on the spot if he wanted to. A small part of Ichiji mourned that you were his girlfriend, because that pretty much sealed his fate that Gojo Satoru could indeed murder him on the spot because he had a valid enough reason to.

"You are—"

"No! I'm sorry, Gojo-san! I'm sorry for my incompetence!"

"Hah?"

If he was mildly irked before, now Satoru was visibly irritated.

"You're not cut out to be a jujutsu sorcerer," he started. "You're useless. You just get in the way most of the time."

Ichiji kept his head down. No, no. He can't cry!

"Get your driving license or I'll slap the shit out of you."

"Oh?" and before he knew it, Satoru had stalked away, leaving him in the dust. How rude! But...

Get a driver license? Quit the jujutsu work?

Hey, that sounds like something I can do!

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