#Also I wrote a recap but its super long

[theladyinredisnotyourfriend]

THEY HAVE GLASSES FRIENDLY MASKS NOW!!!!!

#I don’t actually know how new these are. I haven’t been back since 2019 #but it made me really excited #Also I wrote a recap but its super long #sleep no more #sleepnomorenyc #mckittrick #sleepnomore #the mckittrick hotel #sleep no more nyc #mckittrick hotel

[thefirstknife]

The Vex and the Wish

It's been a while since the finale of the Starcrossed mission and I've not stopped thinking about it. I want to talk about some of the stuff that's been on my mind, mostly about all the little hints about what we might be delving into after The Final Shape.

So, the whole premise of Starcrossed is really interesting and has been since we first heard about it. Some sort of a mission in the Black Garden? During an Ahamkara season? It immediately meant that we'll be dealing with some Ahamkara shenanigans in the Black Garden, two things that have previously not been combined. And the Ahamkara element was really good and nice and heartbreaking!

But the bigger thing that got me thinking and overthinking was all the Vex elements this season. They're kinda flying under the radar because we have bigger issues to deal with, but everything we got about them this season has been super weird and concerning. Especially the Black Garden stuff!

The Sol Divisive have been very active doing... things we don't truly understand. They've made their attempts to somehow interact with Ahamkara magic and they've been messing with Darkness as well. I'll do my best to recap all the stuff we've gotten about the Vex this season and how it relates to Starcrossed. Long post under!

The first thing that got us all thinking was of course the premise for the season in the first place; we knew that we would be dealing with Ahamkara, the Dreaming City and the Awoken, but we did not know about the Vex. That was peculiar in general because they simply haven't been mixed together with Ahamkara before. This was also really intriguing because of the reason we needed an Ahamkara in the first place: to get through the portal in the Traveler and follow the Witness. So why are the Vex (Sol Divisive) interfering?

As soon as the season started and we could look at the items, the first very interesting lore tab was Scatter Signal. In it, we have Osiris tracking some sort of a signal, locking onto it and getting a transmission in the form of hexadecimal code. When decoded, it revealed a strange message from a still unknown source, discussing the Vex:

“A churning singularity of shadow and mimicry beats again within cultivated chaos. Minds orbit its gravity, to bridge communion with a Voice, to move from parallel to entanglement. They dream of a dark core, contained within a timeless structure. A suspended return to the primordial. If not for this truth, why kneel? If not for this truth, why does it elude definition? Though not all agree on all, all agree on this. Sol is Salvation.”

We still don't really know what this message means or who sent it, but I've speculated before that it could have something to do with the Ishtar scientists, most likely Chioma or maybe even Maya and the others. I wrote about this speculation before Starcrossed was out, so now that we know how Starcrossed ended, I believe more strongly that the Ishtar team (at least their simulated copies) is somehow still out there and capable of communicating and that they're the ones who sent this message.

As for the message, now that the season is over, I believe it talks about the Black Heart (churning singularity of shadow and mimicry beats again within cultivated chaos) and the Sol Divisive's obsession with it and their belief that it could grant them some sort of knowledge or ability (possibly paracausality) or a way to return the universe to the way it was before paracausality existed (return to the primordial): this is possibly also talking about the speculative time when the Traveler and the Veil were one, a time that the Vex perhaps remember. It also warns us that while the Sol Divisive are unique in their worship of the Darkness, the Vex as a whole agree on the simple truth that whatever they want to finally achieve will be achieved in Sol, our system, because this is where they have all the necessary ingredients to do so. Whether this is understanding paracausality, resetting the universe or Convergence, we don't know.

When I wrote that speculation initially, since Starcrossed wasn't out yet, a lot of my questions were about what possible connection could there be between the Black Garden and the Ahamkara. That was the only thing we knew before the mission dropped after all. Now in retrospect, we can at least put some of the theories to rest; originally there was speculation that Riven or the Vex or both are doing something that would end up tricking us somehow. This has since been disproven; the Ahamkara in the Black Garden was Taranis who made his lair there to stay hidden and to hide his and Riven's children.

However, a very important question remains. Did the Vex know about this and did they use Taranis' residence in the Black Garden to study paracausality and Ahamkara magic? I believe they must've known about him and that they must've dedicated at least some observational resources to monitor him and his shenanigans in their space. This obviously isn't good. The Vex have been trying to understand paracausality for a very long time and we've been practically giving this information to them for almost equally as long. Taranis living within reach of the Sol Divisive probably offered them some insight into it as well and possibly also insight into Ahamkara abilities.

Sol Divisive has spent a considerable amount of time and resources trying to understand the Darkness, the Witness and the Veil. This season we've gotten confirmation that they're actively merging with Darkness and even trying to somehow fuse with the Witness. We've seen them being able to simulate techeuns, we've seen oracles appearing outside of the Vault of Glass and shaping themselves with Darkness energy, as well as tapping into Darkness in general, into memory, to enhance their predictive abilities. They spent this whole season messing with Ahamkara eggs and Riven's Lair and the Coil as Vex artifacting became more and more prominent as the weeks went on. Osiris has also noted, on several occasions, just how similar wishing magic and Vex simulations are. The second one is particularly interesting:

What is a simulation if not a machine's wish? A projection of what might be, were certain parameters to be altered.

One big problem is that while a lot of this is linked purely to the Sol Divisive and their obsession with the Darkness and the Witness, a lot of it is not. First, one very interesting thing that happened this year is that after nearly 10 years, we finally got an explanation about the Black Heart; it was the Sol Divisive's failed attempt to recreate the Veil, very likely an idea given to them directly by the Witness, to create a makeshift Veil after the original had been lost in the Collapse. A lot of the stuff in the background of this year has been about the Vex, simulations, augmented reality and the Vex attempts at understanding the Veil and paracausality at large; discussed at length in Veil Logs, most notably this one where Chioma speculates about how the Vex could potentially gain access to paracausal simulations if they gained access to the Veil.

This thing, the Veil. It’s… it’s some kind of web of consciousness. Just like the Vex network, but organic instead of artificial. It makes sense why the Vex want it. Paracausal simulations? There’d be no stopping them.

As I said, a lot of this is about the Sol Divisive, but a lot of it is not. The Vex we see on Neomuna are not Sol Divisive, for example. Scatter Signal also implies that despite the Vex at large being in disagreement with the Sol Divisive, all Vex do seem to share some basic ideas which the speaker in Scatter Signal summarises as: "Sol is Salvation." Apparently, all Vex agree on this.

To make things even stranger, here comes Starcrossed. As soon as we first saw it, it was strange because it showed us a big Vex structure in the Black Garden!

This is the centerpiece of the whole mission and as we proceed through it, we get closer and closer to it. This is called a Citadel and it has appeared in the game before; notably, in Destiny 1, but you can now see it in Destiny 2 as well, in the first encounter of Vault of Glass. This structure is distinctly not Sol Divisive and it never has been.

The origin and purpose of the Citadel are not entirely understood, outside of ties to the Vault of Glass. It's been on Venus since the Golden Age where it was investigated by the simulated copies of the Ishtar team:

No human being in the Ishtar Academy has ever crossed the safety cordon and walked the ancient stone under the Citadel, the Vex construct that stabs up out of the world to injure space and time.

And:

"I wonder where it came from," Duane-Mcniadh says. Of course he's the one to break the reverent silence. "The Citadel. I wonder if it was here before the Traveler changed Venus." "It could have been latent," Chioma Esi suggests. She's the leader. She kept them together when it seemed like they faced actual, eternal torture. She pulled them through. "Seeded in the crust. Waiting for a period of geological quiescence, so it could grow." Dr. Shim shrugs. "I think the Traveler did something paracausal to Venus. Something that cut across space and time. The Citadel seems to come from the past of a different Venus than our own. It doesn't have to make any sense by our logic, any more than the Moon's new gravity." Maya Sundaresh walks at the center of the group. She's been too quiet lately. What happened to them wasn't her fault and maybe she'll believe that soon. "What could you do with it?" she murmurs, staring up. "If you understood it?" Chioma puts an arm around her. "That's what we're going to find out. Where the Citadel can send us. Whether we can come back."

This is interesting to us now because a very similar construct appeared out of nowhere in the Black Garden and when we reached the end of the Starcrossed mission, we gained access to the inside of the structure. And inside, we found a single room decorated with the symbol of the Ishtar Collective made out of Vex materials.

As I've noted before in the post where I speculated about the names of the seasonal missions and the meaning of Scatter Signal and what this mission in the Black Garden could be, this whole situation brought me back to thinking about the lore book from Season of the Undying: Aspect. In it, we follow Praedyth who is eternally stuck in the Vault of Glass (incidentally, this happened to him because he wished to an Ahamkara) and who discovers the simulated Ishtar scientists and establishes communication with them.

He realises that something has changed and that he's no longer in a loop, but able to change things by talking to the Ishtar team. He and the Ishtar team develop a strategy in which the simulations are able to theorycraft and instruct Praedyth (who is physical and in a physical space) to create a way for all of them to escape their associated prisons. The team figures out together that a way out could be achieved through the Black Garden and that they would need a specific event to jumpstart their escape; this event would be the Undying Mind and its awakening which opened the gate to the Garden again, this time on the Moon. They start with Praedyth sending messages through in hope that someone, somewhen, will hear them. Soon, as the disturbances in the Black Garden get more prominent, they get the chance to not just send messages of code out, but to actually try to escape physically.

The lore book never tells us if they succeeded.

A hundred and sixty Mayas reach for the Chiomas by their side. A hundred and fifty-eight Chiomas reach back. One Praedyth, waiting for the conductor's baton to drop. Uncountable Vex in the Garden, waiting for the same event, a synchrony none of them notice. Somewhere, a veil is always lifting. Somewhere, Kabr is always dooming himself. Somewhere, a door is always opening. Somewhere, they are always stepping through.

The name of the final chapter is "irrealis;" a grammatical mood for situations or actions that are not known to have happened at the moment of speaking. All Aspect chapters are named in this way, one of the reasons I started thinking about this lore book in the first place, the moment I noticed the names of missions this season (this theme is also extended to the weapons reprised from Undying: Imperative, Adhortative, Subjunctive and Optative). As an addition, the final mission's name is also very interesting and it is possible that maybe there will be another (one more radio message and triumph haven't been unlocked yet).

The point is that we don't know if the Ishtar Collective simulations and Praedyth managed to escape because at the time of speaking (when this lore book was released) this was an irrealis mood; unknown if the action has occured. But their plan, to use the situation with the Undying Mind in the Black Garden and the Black Garden itself to escape (the Vault of Glass and a simulation) seems to be connected to the massive Vex Citadel usually connected to the Vault of Glass that suddenly appeared in the Black Garden and has tangible proof of the Ishtar Collective inside.

As in, I believe they did manage to escape, in what for us is right now (or at least in a way that we could detect right now; time shenanigans with the Vex could mean anything honestly). I think that the appearance of the Citadel in the Black Garden correlates with their escape and that the Scatter Signal message is also something that came from the Ishtar team trying to give us information about the Vex. I also believe that this is a massive setup for the future content about the Vex and most likely the return of Venus in some form.

This whole year spent quite a lot of time reacquainting us with the Ishtar Collective: from Neomuna and their adventures in founding this secret city and their investigations into the Veil. Chioma Esi, a character that has existed in Destiny since the first game's release was finally given a voice and she and Maya Sundaresh were developed further and given some extra details to their backstory, most notably all the stuff we were told about Maya specifically and how much the Veil drove her mad. Not only that, but we were also given additional information about the Black Garden and the Black Heart, another point from the original game's first story that was brought back almost a decade later. Like a loop to the beginning.

The fact that it all ended with more stuff about the Black Garden and the Ishtar Collective is not a coincidence, I think. Most importantly, it's not the story that will be resolved this season and very likely won't be something we will be dealing with in the Final Shape. So this is setup for something after; about the Vex and their search for paracausality (and possible success?), about their connection to Venus and about the Ishtar Collective, perhaps even more about the Black Garden and maybe even Praedyth and the Vault of Glass.

As a quick summary:

The appearance of the Vex Citadel in the Black Garden - the original Citadel is linked to the Vault of Glass and is located on Venus. Somewhat related to this, this season Oracles appeared outside of Vault of Glass and were shaping themselves into Pyramid energy.

The Citadel architecture is not Sol Divisive Vex. This is important because otherwise we would be able to just chalk up the appearance of this structure to the Sol Divisive shaping the Black Garden, but the Citadel is not their work.

Ishtar Collective symbol inside; not only linking to Aspect, but also to Venus itself (we got a lot of Ishtar content this year in general, starting even before Lightfall, with Spire of the Watcher dungeon in Season of the Seraph, just before Lightfall, as an intro to the story of Ishtar and founding of Neomuna)

Several mentions of Venus, indirectly (the Citadel, Ishtar Collective) or directly (mentioned in one voice line linked to the history of the Ahamkara in the system, and also in the mysterious mention of an incredibly niche character of Albios, also in context of the Ahamkara history in the system)

All of this points to some Vex heavy content coming post-TFS with a strong connection to Venus and the story of the Ishtar Collective (perhaps their simulations) and some possibility of Praedyth and more about the Vault of Glass. Pretty much everything discussed here and everything the Vex have been doing for years is likely not getting resolved in TFS as the primary problem for us in TFS will be the Witness.

But once the Witness is gone? I'm pretty sure we will be finally moving on to the Vex and possibly their grasp of paracausality. We might be forced to go back to Venus and dig up more information about them, perhaps even reach out to the Ishtar simulations, if they've escaped (which I believe they did, given what we've seen at the end of Starcrossed).

Obviously this will likely be happening in Episodes, probably the first one, given what we've seen about it so far; it is called Echoes and has something vaguely Vex-shaped as a placeholder image. Not only that, but it's covered with plants that have reminded me of Venus ever since it was first shown. Note that none of this is still final and this placeholder image was shown to us before all the troubles with layoffs and delays. But it seems like the general idea will have to remain the same because of all the hints and setup about Vex content we've gotten so far, especially with these open questions at the end of Starcrossed mission.

We don't know yet how big Episodes will be which obviously makes it impossible to make any kind of prediction on what the stories in them might be able to cover and how extensive the content will be. Especially how likely it is to get a whole location like Venus back, not to mention that there are still questions about other Vex-focused locations; for example, are there plans to expand on Nessus and are there plans to also deal with Mercury?

Obviously I would love to deal with Mercury first and foremost (we know Bel), but I think most of everything we've seen through this story and through the hints and setup points to Venus and the return to some of the original unanswered questions in the lore. I'm really excited for the possibility that we'll get more information about the Ishtar team and about what truly happened to their simulations. I'm also excited for the possibility that there might be more information about the Vault of Glass and the Black Garden and the Black Heart (for which I think that the Vex have been trying to rebuild or fix in some way). It would be a neat way to create a circle back to the start of the story, especially since it's dealing with the Vex and time travel shenanigans. I'd really love if the story of the Vex forced us to metaphorically go back to the start of the story and look at everything we've seen so far with a new perspective.

I've gone to a lot of different points in this post, but I hope it makes sense. There have been some really interesting background infodumps and discussions in the lore and character interactions about the Vex and their impact on the world, overshadowed by the fact that we have much bigger imminent problems to deal with. This incidentally also gave Vex enough time and space to do their thing unsupervised. They've had enough time to observe us and other paracausal entities (such as the Ahamkara and the Witness and the Traveler), we've given them plenty of information about Guardians (the fact that we deposit our "paracausal sparks" into Vex receptacles in the Black Garden during Starcrossed is quite concerning) and they've evolved enough to begin shaping themselves with Darkness resonance, and they've never had more information about simulations and prediction.

The Vex have taken their time to catch up with us and they've been especially prolific during Season of the Wish while our attention is directed elsewhere, even with them being directly involved. I'm super excited for whatever they have planned for Vex stuff after TFS and they've given us plenty of content to speculate about it until it releases!

#destiny 2 #vex #long post #lore vibing #i could've probably gone more unhinged an analysed every other word but i think this is enough for now #thinking every day about the vex and vex stuff that will go down at some point #this whole season: about the ahamkara #me: but the vex.... and ishtar.... #as usual if anyone has questions suggestions theories or anything feel free to share

[cumulo-stratus]

The Good Days

Pairing: Spencer reid x Autistic!Male!reader

Description: spencer and y/n go stargazing, and y/n indulges spencer with facts about his special interest- astronomy

Warnings: fluff!! a little bit of me info dumping for me <3, lemme know if theres anything else!

Flufftober Day 16: stargazing

A/N: ik its super short guys dont get on my ass- i wrote it in like 30 minutes before i went to bed because i needed to get a second fic up- also sorry for info dumping just a weensy bit lmao

The park had long since been emptied, all except for 2 people, spencer and y/n. They were sat in camping seats, as y/n hated the feeling of sitting in the grass, it was too prickly for his liking. And spencer would do anything he could to accommodate his boyfriend, so he got them camping chairs that you could lean back in so they could still stargaze, as per y/ns request. y/n had a special interest in astronomy, and spencer had no issues indulging y/n, one could even say spoiling him. And tonight was one of those nights were spencer sacrificed something for y/n. Spencer had just gotten back from a case the other day and was still exhausted- but agreed to go star gazing because it was going to be the clearest night for a while. 

And so here they were, one hour in and y/n was still spewing facts about stars, currently he was on the topic of blue vs. red stars. although he spoke utterly, trying to uphold the quietness of the night as best he could, but his tone was far from calm- it was animated and lively, his hands moving to match. 

“…okay so recap blue stars- they’re usually pretty young- because they have a ton more energy that they havent burned up yet- so these blue stars get super excited cus they have a ton of hydrogen to burn (basically star food)- so they burn it super fast and super hot! thats why theyre blue- blue fire is hotter than red/orange fire..”

spencer had abandoned watching the stars at least 10 minutes ago, favoring watching y/ns eyes light up as he spoke- the smile reflecting that of a child’s for it innocence, and its exhilaration. spencer, wanting to encourage his boyfriend posed the question, 

“and what happens when that big hot blue stars runs out of hydrogen to burn?”

y/n looked over at spencer, absolutely thrilled at the question, and responded 

“oh my goodness! i was jsut about to talk about this, when blue stars run out of hydrogen which burns much hotter than hellium, they switch to burning helium- which has more energy- but doesnt burn as hot! so what happens is that star now has all this excess energy- and it needs something to do with it! so it expands, the outer layers of the star expand outwards- causing the whole star to cool down enough to burn red hot- instead of blue hot.”

“wow thats really interesting, thank you for telling me about it!” 

when spencer praised y/n a warm blush dusted his cheeks- but spencer couldn’t see it in the darkened park. And after y/n finished talking, the couple settled into a comfortable silence- the kind you dont feel the need to fill. And they sat there, fingers entwined, shoulders touching, until Y/n was starting to fall asleep. and y/n needed to drive spencer back to their apartment. But Before they left, y/n and spencer soaked in the silence, and the soft light of the night sky embracing them with open arms. These were the good days. 

The End

#spencer reid #criminal minds #bau #bau team #cute #fluff #gay #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x male reader #spencer reid x autistic reader #Autistic!reader #spencer reid fluff #flufftober #flufftober 2023 #flufftober prompt #flufftober day 16

[sadghoststudios]

STATE OF PLAY 12/23: a little news and updates roundup!

Howdy all! Squeaking in just before the new year, I thought now's as good a time as ever for a little roundup of anything you might have missed, and what we're currently working on! Aiming to do these quarterly from now on 🫡✨

If you wanna keep up with posts like this from us without relying on social media, you can also sub to our newsletter! Promise not to annoy you. Good emails only.

Recap and news under the cut!

2023 Roundup

DemiDato

We had two releases this year, but DemiDato was the big one! For those that don't know, this game spent a long 5+ years in and out of development hell, so it was a big relief to finally put everyone's hard work out into the world back in March.

We were also lucky enough to feature DD in the Queer Games & Queer Halloween bundles this year, so even if you haven't had a chance to grab the game outright, check your itch library - you might already own it!

As for the future of our monsters, a 1.1 update is still on the cards! The bulk of it is already complete - there's some script tidying and quality of life improvements already in the WIP build, as well as a fancy schmancy CG Gallery (which you can see a little preview of in the devlog I wrote). 

1.1 development has admittedly stalled a little, as I really want to implement some animated video transitions plus an animated intro and trailer into its final build, but it's been hard to find the time to teach myself a whole new skillset while also being in preproduction for our new title (more on that in a bit!). In my head for all the years of development, the game has always had a really cheesy reality show intro with horribl(y good) graphics, just like the real life shows that inspired it. So even if the feature didn't make it to 1.0, I still really want it to happen eventually. (Plus, when we do eventually rerelease on Steam, a trailer is very important for the store page! That means it counts as futureproofing, right...?)

If you want to hear some more about what the release was like, my dear friend Kaiju of Digital Diversity interviewed me right after the game came out! You can read the interview on Digital Diversity over here.

GrandNya

Our second game of the year was a short little nugget written for 2023's Josei Jam, and devved almost solo by timepatches (hi! that's me!)

It'd been a long time since I managed to get anything off the ground in a jam setting, and I still find it a little intimidating (it's really difficult for me to get new ideas & iterate on them fast enough to meet the start deadline and recruit others), so solo dev it was! My art is hardly intricate but it gets the story across, and I'm proud of the VN as a whole - whatever you think of 'wholesome games' as a movement, it's hard to deny that we all need a cosy space now and then, and that’s the kind of story I like to tell most. And it's not like GrandNya is all sunshine, either, which you'll know if you got to the end!

I also managed to apply to Hand-Eye Society's Super FESTival with GrandNya, and was somehow accepted, which I'm still pinching myself about! What a stellar lineup of games to share a page with.

Fest aside, it was a pretty quiet release all things considered, so don't worry if you missed it! Your grandmas are still there on our itch page anytime, to give you a lil’ pocket of safe queer story to live in whenever you need it.

Intoxicated

Now for something completely different!! Despite some prior medical commitments around the jam date (which then got moved, typical), I was VERY stoked to be able to hop on the team for Kristi HusbandoGoddess' Yuri Jam game, Intoxicated!

It was an absolute blast. Turtles were drawn in the group chat for reasons I can no longer remember. It singlehandedly made me decide that I want to do more jam work on others' teams, because I forgot how fun it can be working toward a common goal in a more relaxed environment! 

And the game turned out incredible. Check it out if you support women's wrongs! ♡

Plans for 2024

[Codename BAT 🦇] (the big otome/amare game)

Oh yeah. It's big.

I won't spill too much just yet, but just know that I've had this idea as a vague plot bunny in the back of my mind for years. Then, as my dear friend Charlie and I were on VC beta testing a late DemiDato build, it came up and they were so excited about the idea that I couldn't help but start seriously thinking about how to make it.

Well. That was in March. After I took a break and worked on GrandNya, I've been working ever since on building out the world (it's set in the same universe as the rest of our library, but deals a bit more with the actual ramifications of it all, so I had to set some things in stone I haven't before). More recently I've been building out the most coherent, easy-to-follow outline I can (not my strong point, and bless my beta readers for their support while I complain about it). 

Very soon I should be able to start writing! Terrifying! I can't wait. Once I'm a fair way into the script writing you'll get to hear about exactly what I'm cooking, and I think... you'll like where we're going.

[Other Redacted Thing]

Not my project so I won't spoil exactly what it is, but I get to do some UI work for an upcoming jam project and I am SO excited! I get to work with some very familiar faces again! You'll know what it is as soon as I'm allowed to tell you 👀

What I will say is that it shares a coincidental similarity with my long project...

That's it!! ✨

Thank you for reading all my waffle (being long winded is my special talent), and for sticking with us through the inevitable periods of radio silence! We're still just little fish in a very big pond, but every time someone plays something I made and feels some type of way, I remember what the point of all this is. 

It makes me very happy to be able to share stories with y'all. Here's to more in 2024!

♡ Madi Wander (@timepatches)

#indie game #visual novel #interactive fiction #sgsroundup #sgsnews #thanks to those who stuck with us thru this + past years! onward and upward for 2024 :)

[aquariusshadow]

Live!Blogging HSMTMTS s3x1

aight yall

i havent done these in a while so………welcome back! portwell nation how we doing???

its been so long

lessssss gooooo

--

okay ngl this recap is super fucking useful

i didnt realize how much i forgot about s2 ahahaha

"second chances" hmmmmmmm i wonder what thats forshadowing

oh ej honey

bby

sweet summer child

portwell

the bbies

its them

theyre back

AND THEYRE CUTE

CHEEK KISS

omfg theyre recreating the shjsalhdfkjaslhfdkadf

SUMMERTIME

THATS WHAT IT WAS HELL YEA

(also i take it this means seb, big red, and nini isnt gonna be in this, cool cool)

gina looks so gorgeous i cant--

wait is this the summer camp that ej and nini met before s1? or is that a different one

WAIT A MIN

I

OKAY LILY AND RICKY

THEYRE AN ACTUAL THING?

ngl i did kinda crackship them in s2 but………………

idk how i feel about it honestly

the harness ya know?

aye nini is in this season afterall cool cool

portwell being cute again as usual i love them

THE CAPTIONS SAID "DAMN" HAHADFJASDLHASD

IN A DISNEY SHOW

ashlynn stanning and supporting portwell is everything

yes gina this is your summer of firsts and this will be your summer and your season

"one more thing" kisses gina

smiling gina

best season best season

i love the kourt/gina/ashlynn trio

oh my god i forgot about jordan fisher playing ginas brother ahahahaha

it sounds like nini really needs some independence

……lily why are you still carrying that around

thats just dumb

we really arent gonna drag that out huh

so i retract my previous ricky/lily comments

i am a dumbass

they did rush through that tho ngl

is……is this an original joshua song? or is this one he wrote specifically for the show

i really like it hehe

looks like ricky also needs independence too based on the song ahaha

this is really catchy

portwell being cute again as always

kourt/carlos friendship rights

carlos' reaction to jet is everything lmfao

jwhljhljfhldjkhlsdkjfahslkdfj

this shallow lake song wtf

i do like gadget's voice

and gina's very much vibing with ej's happy antics

IS THAT JASON EARLES

JACKSON

FROM HANNAH MONTANA

THE GUY FROM KICKIN IT (i forgot his name)

IT ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

yes yes corbin bleu incredible

cooperate disney allowed high school musical Chad to host frozen the musical at a summer camp in a show thats highly popular on disney plus

genius

FDGHDLBSAF.JGKASHLFDGHD

I WAS KIDDING

HAHAHAHA

ITLL BE ON 'DISNEY PLUS'

COOPERATE MOUSE STRIKES AGAIN

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

is ej gonna direct

hes gonna direct isnt he

yup

Director Caswell

that has a nice ring to it

awwwwwwwwwwww portwelllllllll

oh

"who said anyone would"

"excuse me"-ricky

i…

fine………

fine…………….

--

Okay, so, initial thoughts.

I loved all the camp scenes and I kinda got bored when it cut to Nini and Ricky ehehe. i really liked showing the different dynamics of the girls together and the guys and exploring those friendships more and, obviously, Portwell were adorable! I love them and will defend them constantly However, I……am not a fan of a potential EJxGinaxRicky love triangle thing being POTENTIALLY set up (????) and I'm also not a fan of this love triangle POTENTIALLY resolving itself by POTENTIALLY having nini come to camp and rini gets back together. yes this is all my speculations for the rest of the season ehehuhuhuesohohoohhafhdlakjdsfhasdf Both Ricky and Nini need time away from each other to gain their own independence and to understand why their relationship ended in the first place (i cannot remember if in s2 they actually covered that or not. i do remember their breakup scene was good? in the sense that it followed exactly what the show was setting up in s2 for rini)

But who knows. Maybe Rini will reunite and actually be a better fit after some time apart to grow as people? I'll just have to see how that goes.

And while I used to ship rina and due to that, I will probably have a slight soft spot for them in the sense of just liking their scenes together………….i am very concerned for portwell's happiness. This is supposed to be Gina's season and EJ plays a big role for that and he's also getting even more screentime I--------

i just want portwell to be happy okay???

AND HOW COULD I FORGET THE BEST SHIP OF ALL RICKERAPY PLZ MAKE RICKERAPY CANON I BEG YOU

god i missed these live!blogs

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s3x1 #live!blogging hsmtmts #portwell #and just so the tags are properly filtered imma add #anti rini #i dont hate them btw #but yea #gina porter #ej caswell #nini salazar roberts #ricky bowen #kourtney greene #carlos rodriguez #ashlyn caswell #ngl i am missing my boy seb #also rickerapy #god i just want rickerapy #spoilers #i guess??

[coll2mitts]

#58 Phantom of the Paradise (1974)

Happy Halloween!  Let's show these industry music phonies what a REAL artist looks and sounds like by murdering everyone that goes against our vision!

I will admit, I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into watching Phantom of the Paradise, and how intense its Phans are.  Its production is probably one of the most well documented out of all the movies I’ve written about on this list so far... so much so I had to cut off my research phase before the materials ran out because I never would have released this on time otherwise.  Conventions, and interviews, and painstakingly written breakdowns of every scene in the movie, oh my!

I’m going to have to release a redux version of this next year, aren’t I?

I thought this would be a weird 70s rock version of The Phantom of the Opera, which it is, but it is also Faust, A Picture of Dorian Gray, and like 3 decades worth of musical genres.  Phantom of the Paradise is directed by Brian De Palma, who is probably more well-known for his work on Carrie and Scarface.  I've never seen a single one of his movies, but that's OK, everything I need to know about him is succinctly outlined in this review of The Black Dahlia, and while you could prolly watch the entire movie in the time it takes you to watch Willie's recap of it, why would you want to?  

Apparently Mr. De Palma wrote Phantom of the Paradise after hearing a muzak version of The Beatles in an elevator and was so salty about it he had to make an entire movie about the music industry bastardizing creative genius and like, sure.  This isn't the first movie on this list to bitch about how exploitative the music and film industries can be, but this is the only one where the dude wears a metal bird helmet and murders people.

Phantom begins like any other Twilight Zone episode, with narration from Rod Serling warning us a monster may live in the opera house, but it might not appear as one in the beginning.  Then we're introduced to The Juicy Fruits, Death Records' latest retro musical act, put together by their President and first bird-related character name, Swan.  They sing a song about how some dude killed himself to sell more records, which isn't at all foreshadowing the events that happen later in the film.  After they're done recording, some Ben Folds motherfucker who was acting as their pianist starts playing exerts from his original cantata Faust.  

Swan likes what he hears and asks his lackey Arnold Philbin to get a few songs from the ironically named Winslow Leach so The Juicy Fruits can record them.  When the doo-wop band is mentioned, Winslow loses his absolute shit and insists "Faust" can only be sung by him and him alone.  Arnold is like, "Cool, dude, that's chill, just give me a few of the songs from your weirdly long 300 page sonata and Swan will think about producing your new album."  Winslow gives up the goods and Swan *surprisingly* never contacts him again.

About a month later, Winslow tries to approach Swan at Death Records, and immediately I'm reminded of greasy pop-punk kids wearing Atticus t-shirts roaming the halls of my high school.  In Phantom, this logo was awkwardly plastered over building signs, podiums, television sets, tape recorders, cameras, and whole mess of other things in post-production, and it uhhh, stood out.  

I thought perhaps this was to cut costs on props, but turns out these signs originally read "Swan Song Records", which is morbidly poetic.  Unfortunately for everyone involved, Led Zeppelin formed Swan Song Records in the time between the film finished shooting and the film being released.  To avoid a lawsuit, 20th Century Fox forced the team to edit out any references to Swan Song, and it is super noticeable and several years later people are still screaming about releasing the Swan Song cut.

Winslow gets booted from the building, and tracks Swan down at his home compound, Swanage.  TURNS OUT, Swan is holding auditions for his latest rock opera, Faust!  Winslow meets Phoenix while she's rehearsing his song while waiting and instantly falls in love.  He reveals he wrote the song, and she fawns over him in an attempt to get cast in the background chorus.  He takes her kindness as a sign of affection, and spends the rest of the movie obsessed with her.  

After Philbin tries to casting-couch Phoenix and she runs off, Winslow disguises himself as a hot chick in order to gain access to Swan.  He politely inquires what the fuck is up with Swan yanking Faust out from under him, and the confrontation goes about as well as expected.  Winslow gets physically removed, framed for possession of heroin, and lugged off to do time in the aptly named Sing Sing.

Swan, played by Paul Williams, is also the composer of this film.  He wrote songs for the Muppet-based movies that appear on this list, including "The Rainbow Connection", "Movin' Right Along", and "When Love is Gone", but also found success writing for pop acts like Daft Punk, David Bowie and The Carpenters.  While Phantom of the Paradise pretty much bombed upon release, the soundtrack went gold in Canada because 20k copies of it were sold in my motherland of Winnipeg, Manitoba.  For context, that's 40% of its total record sales.  The movie had a 18-week run in the city, and had a brief resurgence later that summer when Paul Williams played a concert there.  There have been a few retrospectives conducted to understand why exactly Winnipeg, of all places, clung to this story, including an entire feature-length documentary that I couldn't watch because you can't stream it anywhere.  There's been several Phantompaloozas hosted there for fuck’s sake.  But best I can tell, it really caught on with the kids in Winnipeg because it was marketed toward children on television.  The author of this article regaled a time where him and his other school-aged buddies would reenact scenes from it at recess, which is equal measures delightful as it is disturbing.

Winslow is having a terrible time in prison, as the Swan Foundation pulled all his teeth as part of what they called “Dental Health Research”.  6 months later, while Winslow is assembling board games as part of the government's legalized slavery program, he overhears his worse nightmare - The Juicy Fruits are going to be opening Swan's new venue, The Paradise, with Faust!  Winslow is so incensed by this, he hulks out of prison and attempts to destroy the recordings at Death Records.  He instead gets his head caught in a record press, becoming horribly disfigured with a copy of his bastardized work.  

When Winslow reappears, he is sporting a lovely metal beak and an appetite for revenge!  During rehearsals for the new 60s surf-rock branded Juicy Fruits, the Phantom starts the kill counter by blowing up a car on stage.

The fact there are not one, but two uncut shots on the screen at one time is bananas.

Swan seems generally unaffected by this, and tries to appease Winslow by offering him a job.  Swan invites Winslow to attend auditions so his vision for Faust can be realized properly.  Phoenix is there, and after agreeing to sell her voice to Swan, Winslow also agrees to rewrite the cantata with Phoenix’s performance in mind.  Winslow then signs a contract in blood without a lawyer present after Swan fucked him over once before, because it seems Winslow is incapable of learning anything from the story of Faust, even when he's currently living the plot.  

Swan begins to conduct his own secret auditions to replace Phoenix as a lead, seated at a desk that Ron Swanson would be disgusted by.

Swan settles on a showy glam-rock star named Meatloaf Beef, which presumably is the opposite of what Winslow wants.  Beef is from Transylvania, so of course they introduce him by having him emerge from a coffin growling.  On the day of the show’s opening, Swan drugs Winslow, grabs his latest version of the Cantata, and Cask of Amontillado's him into his recording studio.

Winslow hulks himself out of that, as well, and decides to threaten Beef's life in the shower, psycho-style.

For a second, Beef forgot about Winslow's whole thinly-veiled death threat thing, and he wondered how clean the plunger was.  

Beef tries to leave the production, but is convinced to stay when Arnold offers him drugs.  This was the wrong call, because moments later, after the newly 70s-updated Juicy Fruits build a Franken-Beef on stage, Winslow makes good on his threat and electrocutes him.

Then, out of the flames of Beef's corpse, Phoenix arises to sing a Karen Carpenter-esque ballad to calm the crowd down.

Winslow is comforted by Phoenix's performance, but so is Swan.  He goes into her dressing room and propositions her for sex, and she's so excited by her future career as a recording artist, she goes back to Swanage and fucks him.  Winslow watches this uncomfortably long love scene through a skylight and decides to stab himself out of grief.  The wound doesn't kill him, however, as Swan informs Winslow that because he signed a contract, he can't die until Swan does.  And also, just for funsies, Swan is immortal because he is under a mysterious contract as well.

Winslow discovers a tape in Swan's recording studio that reveals the secret of his success.  Swan, during a suicide attempt, makes a deal with the devil to stay young forever.  As long as the recording of the deal stays intact, Swan will never age, much like The Picture of Dorian Gray.  It's also revealed that all Swan learned from the Beef debacle is that crowds love murder, so he arranges to marry Phoenix on television at the end of Faust, and have her assassinated on stage shortly afterward to boost the ratings for sweeps week.  Winslow decides he needs to stop this immediately and destroys the videotape, damning himself and Swan to die.

While the records room burns, the Paradise is hoppin' in anticipation for Swan and Phoenix's wedding.  Winslow shoots the priest, which causes a mild frenzy, but not enough to keep people from partying.  He then stabs and kills Swan, which reopens his own stab wound, and The Phantom dies splayed out on the carpet with his one milky eyeball hanging out.  Phoenix can only look on in horror with the knowledge she'll need years and years of therapy to process the last 2 minutes of her life.

I saw this movie compared with Rocky Horror Picture Show several times while diving into this, and there are some parallels.  Both are rock horror musicals, both have a flashy frankenstein’s monster, and they were released within a year of each other.  Other than those surface level items, I don’t think it’s a fair comparison.  Watching Phantom of the Paradise is a weirdly unique experience, as the film acknowledges its campy nature, but still works hard to drive home the overlying message that creative industries care nothing for artistic endeavors and only want to make money.

I’m reminded of a statement former Disney CEO Michael Eisner used in a memo once, which yeah.. I know, hear me out.  He was the head of the company during the Disney Renaissance, and for all the questionable decisions he did make, those movies saved the company.  In an internal memo sent out during his time at Paramount, he riffed on a Don Simpson quote, “We have no obligation to make art. We have no obligation to make history. We have no obligation to make a statement. But to make money, it is often important to make history, to make art, or to make some significant statement… In order to make money, we must always make entertaining movies, and if we make entertaining movies, at times we will reliably make history, art, a statement, or all three. We may even win awards… We cannot expect numerous hits, but if every film has an original and imaginative concept, then we can be confident that something will break through.”

Now, this quote was taken from Disney War, and I couldn’t get a copy of the book to verify it, but I see it floating around in Disney forums constantly to justify why Eisner was the worst CEO ever because he said money was the primary goal of movie making.  But this statement is an insightful peek behind the curtain.  Disney is a business.  20th Century Fox is a business, and if they made a ton of movies that had artistic merit, but didn’t make them money, they’d have to stop making movies.  The goal of businesses is to make money so you can stay in business.

All this to say, yes, being exploited by a huge machine who has more power and money than God is absolutely wrong.  Swan isn’t justified in stealing Winslow’s work and murdering people to make The Paradise more successful.  But hearing a Muzak rendition of "A Day in the Life” isn’t quite the horror Brian De Palma made it out to be.  The Beatles have always been making that bag, so tone it down a bit.

#100 best musical movies of all time rotten tomatoes #unwarranted opinion

[shihalyfie]

What went down with the DigiFes situation, from the community and translator perspective

I think the events of the last few days have gotten everyone in a huge fuss, and because everything got caught up in a lot of chaotic social media stuff, there’s been a lot of questions about what came from what and who knew what at what time. Fortunately, I happen to be:

Someone who’s a veteran in this fanbase and thus has a small handful of friends in this community, who also have their own friends

Someone who understands a little Japanese (although not as much as others in this community do) and therefore can read things in Japanese myself to some degree without needing someone else to translate it for me

So hopefully I can shed some light on what kinds of things were being discussed, and what was known and not known at what time in this fanbase with all of this.

The most important thing I want to establish is that there was no organized coalition or smear campaign. (Kind of ironic I have to say this when the topic at hand has so much to do with conspiracy theories.) I’m a veteran, I know friends who are veterans, they know other friends who are veterans but don’t know me at all. My friends usually agree with and like the same things I do, and I give them advice and assistance with my skillset when I can, and they return the favor. We pass things along through the grapevine, not through some super-secret club grapevine, just via the nature of social relationships and some Discord servers (multiple; again, not everyone knows each other). So these are my impressions of what happened, based on said grapevine.

How it all started

Konaka’s blog is long. Like, really long. Which is only natural, because he was recapping basically the entire 51 episodes of Tamers in excruciating detail, so no translator in this fanbase would be able to translate all of that and not lose their mind! So for the most part people who couldn’t read Japanese had pretty much given up on reading it (with maybe a few dedicated people using machine translation), and some people who understood Japanese would point out parts they found interesting, but for all intents and purposes it remained untranslated and not super-accessible to the mainstream. (Even the Japanese fanbase itself wasn’t super aware of the blog’s existence.)

So when that first post in May about 9/11 dropped, the people who did read Japanese started going “uh...”

At the time, the DigiFes stage reading hadn't been announced yet. So, in other words, everyone reading it only knew it as, functionally, him namedropping an alt-right YouTuber and praising his observations. The reaction from anyone reading the blog at the time was something along the lines of “disappointed and mildly concerned.” (Note the mildly.)

The posts in June about the Great Reset and the anti-vaccine sentiment were when people keeping an eye on the situation started to get really worried about how far this was going to escalate. At this point, I want to make something clear that may not be apparent to those who weren’t keeping up or who are outside the fanbase: Most of the translators and Japanese-reading people deliberately chose not to be too public about this at this time.

Why?

This is the irony surrounding the fact that said translators are now being accused of trying to further “cancel culture”: cancellation was absolutely not what anyone wanted back then! If anyone wanted to create a smear campaign, 9/11 conspiracies, the Great Reset, and anti-vaccine statements are already more than enough to make a starting case. But at the time, this was a blog that very few people (Japanese or otherwise) knew about, translating it would basically just boost its platform more than it would have had in the first place (which would be counterproductive), and -- well, let’s be real, it’s not hard to imagine that people might get reactionary over it, and people would go nuts. Was there any real benefit that would come out of that? Not really, no.

So at the most, those keeping an eye on it might have vented a bit on their personal accounts, but some even tried to self-censor with “[redacted]” or vagueposting, because this was a matter that needed to be handled with delicacy. Thus, there were “mild rumors through the grapevine” about what was going on, but those who knew were trying to hold back with restraint and mostly inform people quietly in the hopes of this not needing to become some kind of huge social media campaign.

(Also, to be a bit blunt about it, it’s really hard to be in front of someone who loves Tamers and is gushing about it and showing admiration for Konaka, knowing all of this and wanting to say something, but feeling like a jerk if you pop their bubble like “also, he’s probably an alt-right conspiracy theorist now.” Not to say that the ignorance-is-bliss concept is always a good thing, but...)

But since the blog posts in question were discussing the prospect of having his sentiments in fiction, everyone reading them was on edge anticipating what might be in store for DigiFes. The hope was that it might blow over. Hopefully, everything would be in the form of subtle themes with plausible deniability, it would all stay within the realm of “it’s not worth causing a fuss over this,” that would be the end of it, and we’d all move on with our lives.

Unfortunately, “Political Correctness is activating Cancel Culture” isn’t exactly subtle.

DigiFes and the aftermath

I think it’s too easy to assign too much responsibility to the fansub group that was indirectly responsible for breaking the news for all of this, but actually, the truth is, this would have gotten out anyway.

Even when the stream itself was going on, there were Japanese livebloggers, and there were also English speakers who caught on that something was happening with “the Tamers fighting political correctness”. Some hours later, an upload of the stream went live on YouTube, and quite a few people started watching it and caught onto what was going on. If the fansub group that released the now-infamous version hadn’t done it, I’m absolutely certain someone else would have eventually (perhaps in a different language first, but nevertheless). And even before then, information about what the hell was going on was already starting to circulate in broken and incomplete forms. That fansub solidified what was going on, and perhaps accelerated the moment the bomb dropped on everyone, but if it hadn’t been there, it would have happened much more gradually and chaotically.

On top of that, while the use of Western alt-right rhetoric (seriously, please do not try to bring the “injecting Western politics into Japanese media” argument here when all of us are asking him to take the Western politics out) meant that it went over most of the Japanese audience’s heads (hence your answer to “who approved this?”), there was at least one Japanese person who was politically savvy enough to call it out for what it was in disgust. (I’m not linking them here because I’m not dumb enough to fling them in a place where some of you trigger-happy people will go after them.) They didn’t even need to be super in-tune with Western politics to get it; they understood enough to tell that there were some pretty alarming extremist views in there. If they understood that much, it was naturally going to follow that the Western side was definitely going to become aware one way or another.

Even all that aside, at the very least, said fansub is accurate; imagine how much worse this situation would have been if someone else had taken it up and confused things further with a misleading translation, or, worse, deliberately messed with the contents. Basically, this debacle could have easily been a lot worse.

I don’t think anyone expected this to get as big as it did (as in, to the point mainstream anime reporters outside the fanbase picked up on it). There was a similar tri. reading back in 2016, but even a lot of the hardcore fanbase barely remembers it exists! These aren’t even supposed to be canon, either! But when you have that disclaimer at the front, and the contents are really like that, it was probably inevitable for it to become a social media sensation. I mean the contents...sure are a thing.

One thing I should point out about the disclaimer is that it only mentions the program itself. It doesn’t bring up the blog, and it doesn’t bring up who wrote this scenario, just the fact that the program contains alt-right rhetoric and conspiracy theories. Because it does! It’s not even technically praising or condemning the content within, it just says “we don’t agree with it”! What the group did condemn was...approaching staff about it (and especially starting a fight). Because, in the end, that’s what the disclaimer was for: a heads-up about what was in there, and an added reminder that the people translating this are just translating it for the sake of informational purposes. Or, in other words:

It was a content warning. Even without the disclaimer, there were many, many people who would have recognized the contents for what they were and been caught by it unawares, and become upset by it. There were many people who said that they were glad to have that there because it at least gave them some time to mentally prepare for what they were about to be slapped with!

It really, really was a disclaimer. When you have something that level of extremely politically charged stuff, it’s only natural to start suspecting that the translation group had an agenda (official translations tend to get this a lot when content is remotely political). But no, the translation group did their due diligence, even if their opinions were starkly opposed to what was in there.

I was not personally involved in that translation, but I’ll give you this (copy-pasted with permission, from someone who wasn’t technically involved directly in it but was privy to discussions while it was being done):

no we brought up all of those questions like the fact that Yamaki's clearly off his rocker and this isn't supposed to be taken seriously in the first place or that maybe if we're lucky he'll just sound like a fake woke boomer but no matter how you slice it the plot is about him "convincing" the unbelieving Takato and co. into rallying up against the true enemy of Political Correctness and that's just literally the alt-right playbook in a nutshell

the thing even made it to YouTube, we were basically racing against the clock

I mean I really want to say this is plausible deniability but I don’t know how you can get any less subtle than this, this is not something you can mince words

like I really wish we could pass this off as “as long as you don’t know the blog you can take this innocently as political commentary or something” but I honestly don’t think this is something you can take innocently even without context

tbh the Political Correctness part is the most cringeworthy but Yamaki’s rant about fact checkers being evil and all that is probably a lot more worrying when you think about it

tbh I’ve never felt as conflicted about what’s the right thing to do as I do now

So in other words, it was not a reckless decision to just tack on a political label; it was done after a lot of consideration about the consequences to put the label on and what people would think of it with or without context, whether there might be a glimmer of light possibility to try and pass this off as more innocuous as it was, and eventually a determination that, in the end, there was indeed alt-right rhetoric in the program, and should be labeled accordingly.

The result was that, of course, everything broke out on social media, chaos burst out, a lot of hearts were unfortunately broken, and a lot of alt-righters started invading spaces accusing people of proving him right with cancel culture. Ironically, my personal observation is that, while there were exceptions, most people in the actual fanbase did honor the requests to not harass people about it, and this may actually be the most solidarity I’ve ever seen from the Digimon fanbase in my life, which is saying a lot considering how we usually tend to be a drama magnet most of the time. The ones who were actually directly messaging him were his newfound supporters locking down on offering him “support against people trying to cancel him” (I think they were more heartbroken and upset at him than anything...), and most of the harassment came from alt-righters not even in the fanbase, namesearching and sending harassing, accusatory messages to anyone involved for as much as expressing mild dismay. (You want to talk about harassment and being attacked for having an opinion? Pot, meet kettle.)

This leads us back to the question of the blog: if you’ll remember, I just said that the fansub in question did not bring it up at all. That’s because, at the beginning, there was no intention to bring it up if it wasn’t necessary; this was not intended as a smear campaign. The warning was attached to the DigiFes program because it was about the DigiFes program. But the resulting chaos had a lot of people bring up the blog because it better contextualized what was going on, and discussion led to people looking it up themselves and posting fragments of it on social media, sometimes even using machine translate.

Ultimately, that’s the reason this document was released: it was the same reason as the fansub being released at the time it was, which was “if it hadn’t been released, the alternative was watching things get disseminated more slowly and chaotically.” I will say outright that I was one of the people who got to lay eyes on that document before it was publicly released (and even helped out with some advice here and there); it’s no secret that it was being quietly passed around as an internal memo prior to the outbreak. The original version of the document had a request to not post it on public social media because of the chaos it would cause, and while I don’t know how many people got to see it before it was released, I’m under the impression that it was enough people that I was quite surprised everyone who saw it respected that request.

Why does the document contain a ton of analysis and debunking on top of just the translations? Well, when you’re translating those blog posts, you’re technically giving it a bigger platform (which was one of the reasons it was originally considered better to not post it publicly). Since the document exists primarily to inform people, especially about why certain things that may seem innocuous actually have wider context behind them, it’s going to need to contain an analysis like that.

The summary

There were a lot of decisions involved by a lot of different people through all parts of this ordeal. I think it’s fair to criticize whether they were the right decisions in retrospect or whether certain things should have been done slightly differently (including my small role in this), but nevertheless, it was one where the risks involved were thought through and taken into account in every step of the situation, with a desire to avoid chaos, or at least prevent it from getting too much worse. When you have contents like this, a controversy honestly is inevitable -- how on earth are you going to be able to put contents like Yamaki reciting off all the typical alt-right YouTuber talking points and ending in Political Correctness activating Cancel Culture and not expect that to make a stir at some point? -- and so, in the end, this wasn’t so much a conscious attempt at stirring the pot as much as it was the dam finally breaking, and a desire to keep it from spilling over too much. Nobody coordinated this! I think everyone just really hates drama.

Knowing all the steps and thoughts that went on behind all of this, I think being reactionary or accusatory for clout is the last thing anyone involved wanted to be. Considering just how many of these steps above could have easily been made into exposure, from the posts all the way back in May and June to the internal memo document that was made to keep friends quietly informed but could have been leaked to the public with only one bad actor, there was an active, common desire among people who didn’t even know each other to try and minimize the potential damage as much as possible. When you look at the situation now, of course it looks awful and hardly like something that came out of “trying to minimize damage”, but in reality there’s only so much you can do when the contents really are like that, and I personally believe everyone involved was doing what they thought was their best option as the situation kept changing.

I can’t speak for anyone else, especially since I don’t even know most of the people involved, and I didn’t have much of a role in all of this, but I think everyone involved, myself and my friends and everyone who’d been keeping tabs on this situation for months, has been going through a lot of heartbreak and conflict over what to do next, so please understand that there was a lot of thought put into all of it, and that it really was a difficult situation no matter how you look at it.

#digimon #digimon tamers

[marlborodean]

here’s my analysis of a 14-yr-old supernatural episode

so remember that episode where sam fucked a werewolf? because he related to her unwilling monstrosity? well that episode is actually just about dean starting to come to grips with his childhood and his sexuality.

if you ship w/ncest do not interact. this post is not anti-sam either btw. 

content warning: discussions of childhood trauma, internalized homophobia, guns, killing. 

does include some images with Image Descriptions following them.

[ID: An over-the-shoulder close-up shot from the episode, focused on Madison, the werewolf, as she cries. Dean is standing behind her. They are both looking at Sam, whose shoulder is on the edge of the frame. End ID.]

Brief episode recap just in case u don’t remember. This ep is 2x17 “Heart.” Sam and Dean are hunting a werewolf. They discover that the woman they interviewed, Madison, is a werewolf (not THEE werewolf, but one of them). Sam develops a lil crush on her <3 I wrote the majority of this after watching it for the first time in almost SIX years, so i was just vibing the whole time UNTIL the last shot changed it all for me. So let me explain!

Three important points that i will refer back to:

1. The episode begins with Dean being excited to hunt a werewolf because "what about a human by day, a freak animal killing machine by moonlight don't you understand? I mean, werewolves are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids."

2. Then the episode centers on Sam and his relationship with the werewolf woman and his own monstrosity: "[Dean: Sam, she's a monster and you're feeling sorry for her?] Maybe I understand her."

3. BUT THEN the last shot of the episode is of Dean crying as music plays (see below for the specific lyrics) and then Dean jumps at the sound of the gunshot. That's it! That's the end of the episode!

[ID: For all three screencaps, Dean is looking torturously sad. Each one is zoomed a little bit closer to his face than the last. In the last image, Dean sheds a single man tear. The captioned lyrics for the first one say "Relax, child, you were there." The second says "but only didn't realize" and the third says "and you were scared." End ID]

Even though the story is supposed to be about Sam and his monstrosity, and partly about his relationship w/romance since this is the first person he’s slept with since Jess died (at least with what is shown on screen)...the Dean Sandwich tells us otherwise. We're supposed to be taking away something about DEAN here. Like, that's the whole purpose behind the last shot focusing solely on Dean instead of Sam who is AT THAT MOMENT, KILLING THE GIRL HE HAS FEELINGS FOR. It's literally a heartbreaking, devastating, super traumatic thing for Sam to be going through, but instead we're watching Dean as a single tear slides down his face lmao. It's because this episode is about DEAN, and furthering his story.

Let’s not queer this just yet. The death of the werewolf is about/representing his loss of innocence. It's a violent disconnect from his childhood. Point # 1 shows that he is fascinated by werewolves because since he was a kid he thought they were badass, not to mention all the werewolf films he references throughout. Then, through the music lyrics over that last scene, they mirror that theme of childhood. They’ve done this before, having the diegetic music directly reference what the characters are going through. No different here: Dean is the child they’re referring to.

I have to reiterate that that's the last thing we hear before the gunshot cuts the music short and then the cut to black. "You were scared" is the last thing we hear before the gunshot, as Dean cries. ALSO I have to reiterate that Dean was looking forward to killing a werewolf and shooting it himself. So it's super fascinating that, not only is Sam the one that kills the werewolf, WE DON’T EVEN SEE IT HAPPEN.

[ID: A medium-close shot of Dean as he looks at Sam, who takes up the right half of the frame. The caption says, “Sammy, I got this one. I’ll do it.” End ID.]

Am i gonna have to say this now? The werewolf is a metaphor, okay? It's a metaphor for his innocence, which is long-dead, forever doomed. I mean, a lot of kids love werewolves because they ARE badass! It's a classic monster that anyone could easily obsess over, and with Dean's childhood it must've seemed even cooler, knowing they're real and having the power to kill this "mythical" beast. So the way he's looking forward to killing one is the way a child imagines themselves as a hero.

But what happens instead is a tragic mercy killing. It's flipping his fantasy completely on its head, and it makes Dean realize that.....his fantasies are just fantasies. They aren't real, never would be. There's nothing heroic about killing this werewolf. It's tragic as hell. When he offers to kill her himself, it's just to relieve Sam's burden, but he's reluctant still. Because, as he keeps saying, he doesn't want to be a hunter! He doesn't want this life! He's tired of killing! And that's also what he's mourning as he cries and startles at the gunshot. His fantasies will never be real and his childhood could never have been normal and he never got a chance to be a kid because being a hunter was thrust on him at such a young age. And now it feels inescapable.

[ID: A gif of the slow zoom on Dean’s face as the single tears slips down his cheek. He jumps at the gunshot, then blinks and his lip wobbles. End ID.]

So now we can queer it :-) Of course all monster stories can be easily queered, but werewolves are popularly queered. The first example that comes to mind is An American Werewolf in London (1981) isn’t an overtly queer film (though it is Jewish!) but it’s definitely read that way by a lot of people!! Anyway the film was directed by John Landis which JUST SO HAPPENS to be the pseudonym Dean goes by in this episode. hmm. (Also, interestingly, the BTVS ep where the first gay character comes out references this film too)

[ID: Sam and Dean are standing close to each other. Sam is in the foreground, not in focus. Dean, behind him, says, “Landis. And Detective Dante.” End ID.]

There’s this essay about the queer werewolf that you can read here (and they also talk about fandom in it! very fascinating), where they say in the intro: “the werewolf seems an obvious choice as a queer monster with its identity-disrupting hybridity, as well as its atavistic, and, thus, disallowable sexuality.” A lot like Kristeva’s theory of the abject body! which is popular in queer theory. 

This episode is then queering Sam—his attraction to the werewolf makes him abject—but it also queers Dean thru the way his attitude towards the werewolf transforms (get it?) throughout the ep. His desire and eagerness to kill the werewolves is obviously ingrained in him from John’s parenting. Consider what he said in 2x03 “Bloodlust”: “And the way he raised us, to hate those things—and man, I hate them, I do.” In conjunction with the monsters in the show being seen as queer allegories (the gorgon, as an example of an explicit comparison), Dean’s excitement to kill the werewolf can be read as internalized homophobia and repressing any of his own feelings. 

Remember, though, right before that line in “Bloodlust,” he also said, “What if we killed things that didn’t deserve killing?” He’s really beginning to question whether all monsters are bad, and what it means to kill them. Is he also questioning what he believes of queer people? What John believed of queer people? The loss of innocence and queering both slot together through that final shot, imo: he’s crying because he realizes his fantasies aren’t real, but he’s also mourning the fact that he never could have had the chance to grow up without John’s control, and now it’s forever tainted his worldview. What else could he have been without that? (The answer is evident in 4x17 “It’s a Terrible Life.”)

Dean was taught to hate queer people but he doesn't want to. He wants to get out of the life but it feels inescapable. He wants to kill a werewolf and then when he has the chance, he doesn't want to. He actually cries as it's killed. It scares him, having to confront that what he thought he knew was wrong, but he knows all the same that he’ll never have the chance to have grown up without that. 

#is anyone up? anyone wanna read this? i finished this instead of doing homework #sorry the end is bad LMAO i'm notoriously bad at writing conclusions #also i want to say that the monster allegories in SPN more often have to do with race and not homophobia. but this episode sticks out to me #as representing queerness instead of race. especially because they set it up as compared to Sam's story which is SO queer. #spn #what do i tag this #ej.pdf #supernatural #bi dean #my professors would give me a bad grade on this #portfolio

[ninjago-bingo]

final month recap

wow, everyone.  we’re here.  we’ve made it.  we’re reached the end of our bingo time, and i’m absolutely floored by the sheer creative output that i’ve seen over these last four months.  everyone, take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back!!!  no matter if you made 1 piece or 10, there’s now a work of art out there in the world that wasn’t there before.  and truly, that’s super heccing rad no matter how you look at it.

so let’s celebrate!  for this recap, we have a total of 20 new pieces, bringing the total amount of ninbingo pieces up to 50.  in the span of four months, this little event has created 50 individual works (five of them in the last day!)  holy cow ya’ll.

i’m putting out this recap now, but don’t worry, it’s not the end yet!  any submissions made to the end of the 30th still count and this post will be updated accordingly :D

fic:

all the things i’ve never done by @sa-you-na-ra. tumblr || prompts: competition and teasing

It’s always a funny thing when the ninja realize new things about each other. Even though living with each other meant they had to see each other all day, there were still small habits or actions that amused the others.

(mod comments: all these little interactions made me smile so much :D looking forward to the rest!)

error 404: answer not found by @m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: memories

Akita and Zane talk after the battle in ‘Awakenings’. The conversation… doesn’t go as either of them expect.

(mod comments: the nuances in this fic are fantastic!  also Akita is always a win :D)

Five times kai was a good brother by @/master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: nightmare and brother

I'm writing kai centric stuff again.

(mod comments: kai IS the big bro of the team!!! i support him all the way!!)

How Garmadon became a chauffeur by @master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: driving

"um...Kai? Don't you think we should go Slower?" Garmadon asked nervously trying not to panick as they raced down the road at what had to be over the speed limit.

(mod comments: who let Kai drive?  no but honestly this is canon alskdfj)

little things by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: hugs and crying.

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things." -Kurt Vonnegut

Lloyd’s tired of being left behind. How is he meant to be the green ninja when he always has to work harder, train better, and wait longer to go on missions with his team? He wants nothing more than to be their equal.

At least, that’s what he thought he wanted.

(mod comments: a post-ep-18 resolution scene?  SIGN ME UP!)

Neither Snow Nor Rain by @fangirltakesall. tumblr || ffn.net || prompt: post-fight

After their return from the Never Realm and all its troubles, Zane is quiet and Nya is incredibly worried. A call to action to a peculiar sort of battle might be enough to change both of those things.

(mod comments: the concept of these two on their own mission together is just so good! excited to see how their dynamic plays out!!)

Never Put Off Until Tomorrow by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: video games and chores

…what can be done today, yada, yada, yada, we all know the saying. So do the ninja- when Master Wu is drilling it into their heads every minute of every day, it’s kind of hard to forget.

Naturally, it only takes them a week (and the biggest new video game in Ninjago) to do so.

(mod comments: this is so in character that it’s frustrating lol.  also Pixal ftw!!)

oh take me back to the start by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: comfort and 3 am

The past should be left in the past. Or, at least, that’s what Jay keeps telling himself. Nadakhan is gone. It’s not logical to still be afraid. But he is, and now everything that he left behind suddenly feels like it’s never going to be the same again.

Cole isn’t so convinced.

(mod comments: Cole is truly the man we all deserve in our lives.)

On Our Own by @redefine-your-identity. tumblr || prompt: home

It’s been a few weeks since Kai and Nya’s parents disappeared without a trace. Needless to say, they’re struggling.

(mod comments: OU C H no poor babies 😭 the relationship dynamic here is great!)

orange and gold by @/m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: cooking

...I just need more Cole and Vania content, they seem like they'd be great friends.

Basically it's just 'Cole goes to visit her there, they almost burn down the kitchen, and make way too many puns', lol.

(mod comments: I also always need more Vania content!! the puns in this were breadful!)

permafrost by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: loss of control and promise

It’s not like this is the first time this has happened. It’s not like none of his teammates have ever suffered this kind of guilt and pain. It’s not like Zane himself hasn’t walked through hell before and come out the other side (mostly) in once piece.

Except, this time, it is. It shouldn’t be different, but it is.

(mod comments: super sweet moment between two ninja who deserve more interaction like seriously!!)

Precautionary Tale by @/fangirltakesall. tumblr || ffn.net || prompt: protective

Fighting is different now, and Zane doesn't know why. Yes, he is titanium now, but why should that change anything? It seems to be changing everything, although is all really as it seems?

(mod comments: a great start to a zane-centric fic!  interested to see where it goes next :D)

Star-Ninja! by @rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: siblings and competition 

What happens when the loveable gremlin the ninja adopted off of the streets introduces them to Starfarer comics?

Chaos ensues, of course.

stuck with you (through bright and blue) by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompt: protective

Kai only wants two things: to protect Lloyd, and to give him the best birthday ever. Unfortunately, Lloyd seems hell-bent on making that as difficult as possible. Kai’s always prided himself on achieving the impossible, but dealing with human emotions is much more complicated than beating up Garmadon’s generals or shooting enemies with fire, as he quickly learns. Movie!verse

(mod comments: happy birthday lloyd!! look at him getting the love he deserves uwu)

Take a walk in the rain. by @/master-of-fluff. tumblr || ao3 || prompt: rain

Cole had always loved the rain, the way it smelled, the way it felt on his skin, and especially the mud! Whenever it rained his Mother would put on his rain coat and boots And they'd both go out and splash around in the puddles and make mud cakes and do all sorts of things.

(mod comments: this fic made me smile a lot :D loved the way it was arranged!) 

the hues of an empty sky by @/m-aster-of-spinjitzu. tumblr || prompt: crying

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there’s one thing Jay’s leant over the last few weeks, it’s that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a ‘they tell everyone about the erased timeline’ fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don’t actually tell the other what exactly they’re alluding to the whole time’ fic that I wrote at like one am-

(mod comments: Skybound resolution? SIGN ME THE HECK UP YES)

The Make-Cole-Realize-How-Much-We-Love-Him Competition by @21st-century-ninja. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: bets and competition

Jay and Kai share a horrified look.  “He really doesn’t get it,” Jay says.

Kai shakes his head.  “We need to show him somehow.”

“Show me what?” Cole asks, exasperated again.  

“How much we love you!” Kai exclaims.  “Somehow, it’s not getting through your thick skull that we want to sit next to you because you’re you, so I’m gonna have to just prove it to you.”

(mod comments: a silly little movie fic!)

twitter was a mistake by @/21st-century-ninja. tumblr || ao3 || prompts: teasing and birthday

Kai 🔥 @flaminhotninja ☑

so who was gonna tell me that Jay used to be a game show host huh

🌺✨ the Gift of Jay ✨🌺 @zaptrap ☑

Replying to @flaminhotninja

NO WHO SHOWED YOU

(mod comments: twitter was a mistake)

two halves of a broken whole by @/rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: scars and post-fight

The Sons of Garmadon have been defeated. Garmadon is in prison. The city has been saved.

In the aftermath of the battle, Nya is more than ready to take a much-needed break. But the life of a ninja is messy. Recovery is never that simple. Although the wounds may have healed, the scars still remain.

Zane’s scars seem to match up, though. And maybe together, they can begin to heal.

(mod comments: aggressive care is my jam, and this is it!)

wait by @rosiehunterwolf. tumblr || ao3 || ffn.net || prompts: home and memories

Lloyd’s not so great at being patient. It’s not his fault though- maybe he would be better at it if waiting didn’t always end up being so disappointing- if people actually kept their promises. But this time’s going to be different, he knows it. His father will come back for him. And Lloyd’s going to wait.

As long as it takes.

(mod comments: baby.  baby boy.  baby.  protecc him plz.)

#ninbingo #recap #long post #but i don't want to hide anyone's work yk #ninjago #ninjago fic

[piraticalarchive]

okay so for everyone who hates big corporations and management who takes advantage of their employees.. this one’s for you. it’s long but .... i find it completely hilarious.

so a brief recap: amy got fired back in march from a huge international retailer, yes? when things first started like they were going south, i worked on really re establishing a relationship with my brother who is like one level below C-suite (cfo, ceo, etc etc) of that same company because i had an idea in mind. March rolls around, amy gets fired .. and I’m like .. okay. time to put this in motion. but stress and depression obviously took the motivation away from me, but i continued to keep that line of communication up with my brother. we started talking weekly, sometimes twice a week via an actual call. well, i’m finally feeling better .. so this week i finally put my plan in motion. here’s how it went

stage 1: i sent a text to my brother asking if i applied to the store in my area if i could use him as a reference. he said, of course but every store is hiring so i’d look at any store besides that one. (which is already fucking hilarious but i digress) ... so i call the store and one of the managers who sat in on amy’s firing answers when i ask to speak to someone involved in hiring (oh lucky day). I start off with “hi! I’m sorry to bother you, but I’ve been looking for a job thats a bit of a change of scenery and my brother is the *insert position name* and works in *insert headquarters location* and he recommended i give the company a try despite that I had a less than stellar experience last time”. And this manager FALLS OVER telling me they are hiring for so many positions blah blah blah and then at the end when i’m like “thanks for the information! I’m definitely going to apply!” she’s like “of course! I’ll give our hiring manager your information so she can pull it immediately. Whats your name?” and i give my name and suddenly its just dead fucking silent... because they know who I am and they know that I’m in a relationship with amy and that i know what they did. But she recovers and is like ‘can’t wait to see your application!’ .. so.. okay. stage 1 was a success. but then, enter...

unexpected event: the store manager himself calls me. Starts off with some small talk, finally gets around to saying ‘so I hear you’d like to come back and work for us? I was looking at your previous application and I didn’t see any mention of the relation you talked about when you called”. And I’m like “oh, yeah... I don’t like using stuff like that because I’d prefer to get in on my own merit  and skills and not by a family member’s position. Plus its like that show undercover boss, you know? I get to see what the place is like before they know. BUT given with what happened to amy, I was unsure if I’d even be considered without a reference like that” and he laughs nervously and is like “i totally get it. So did anyone know that you had a brother in that position?” and I’m like “oh i mentioned it once in passing to [amy’s manger] but I just said my brother was in corporate and there are a lot of levels so i think he just left it at that” and the store manager is like ‘haha yeah different levels but thats like ... its own level...” and we talk a little bit and he’s like “what made you want to come back?” and I’m like “like i mentioned before, the amy thing really threw me off. I was angry and the good thing about siblings is you don’t have to sugarcoat stuff. So I went to my brother and was like this is how you treat people?? are you kidding?? what about job security?? and i sent him the picture amy had snapped of her discharge papers where it listed the reason and he told me that, and everything else I yelled at him about,  wasn’t the company’s way and that the store had seriously violated something. So for one, I now know that isn’t actually something that should have happened and  two, i inadvertently brought this store to corporate’s attention and there are a lot of good people who work here, and they don’t deserve the consequences of that, so I want to help make it right” and he’s fucking sweating yall, I can hear it over the phone. and he’s like “fill out your application and put whatever you want down and we’ll call you and talk about positions and we can find a way to give you what you want” and I’m like “oh, don’t tell me that nick because your chair is looking awfully good right now” and he did a nervous laugh. SO, unexpected event made my plan even better. Then we get to:

Stage 2: I apply. I check literally every management position, including the one they fired amy from and also some hourly positions and put down ridiculous hours. I pass the manager test with flying colors and when it asks why i said i want to be a team trainer i wrote down ‘thanks to knowing the home office, i know how things should work and I want to help this store raise its position in the district and I know what policies aren’t being followed to help make that raise smoother.” I submitted the application, called the first manager I had spoken to and told her I had done so and she was like “I’m sure we’ll give you a call tomorrow!” ‘Tomorrow’ came and by 7 that night, they hadn’t contacted me. So I went to the ‘we’re hiring’ image they had posted on their facebook page like an hour previously and tagged my brother and was like ‘dude this is one of the positions at my store i was telling you about. think i could pull it off?” AND BAM ! they sent me a request for a phone interview at 8am the next morning. I scheduled my interview for later that afternoon at 2:45 and we enter Stage 3.

Stage 3: Amy and I go to the store to pick up a few things. It’s suddenly fucking spotless. There are no gaps in the shelves, the floor has been cleaned since the last time we were there (monday night and i called them tuesday and it is now white and shiny as hell) and they have the lights turned up all the way so you can actually see. EVERY FUCKING AISLE is perfect. Cat food? perfect. Funko pops? stacked and lined up perfectly. Video games? Filled. Clearance aisle? Perfect order. Like its super obvious they did a mad dash and tried to get the store in shape. So amy and I walk down every single aisle and point things out and kind of put our heads together and talk and I take out my phone and act like i’m texting etc .. basically we’re just fucking with people’s heads because the managers are nearby and they can see what we’re doing. 

Stage 4: So later we’re home and 2:45 comes and goes with NO word. No phone call, no email, no hey can we reschedule. they FORGOT about the interview. I’m dying because they’re making it even better and even easier to fuck with them. So I text my brother (who KNOWS my mental health has been in the trash) and I’m like “I filled out an application just to see and they set up an interview and blew me off. You were right .. not a great help when it comes to the blues” and he was like “yep...i’d look at literally any other store” and talked to me a bit more about it. He was irritated that they’d do that and kept saying they were on thin ice.  Finally at 5 they text me and they’re like “hey, this is the [insert store] and we’re sorry we missed your interview. I wanna apologize. Can we reschedule?” And I wait like an hour and a half (i was napping, i’ll admit it) but I respond with “I apologize for the late response, I had a prior commitment I had to take care of. Unfortunately, I reached out to someone [they know who it is. they know]  in the off chance I had misunderstood the process since I hadn’t heard from you guys and I was encouraged to pursue opportunities at other branches in the area. Thank you for the original consideration and I hope you have a great day!” and they waited until 11am the next day to reply back which I’m assuming is because they were waiting for the higher up management to return to the store.

Come to find out the managers are still basically pissing themselves and freaking out because not only did they a) fire someone against company policy and now know the people at the top know and b) drop the ball and forget to interview a family member of said people at the top ... I got to add salt in the wound one more time by mentioning that my brother dropped in a lot (he doesn’t) and that I’d love to show off the store since it’s such a huge part of the community and it was looking better than I’d ever seen it look. And that it would be nice because he’d get the real experience since it wasn’t a formal, announced visit .... but, of course, that he’s salary .. so the policy is that he’s always ‘at work’ and obligated to take note of things.

so basically, i feel justified. Six and a half months of careful planning and maneuvering was totally justified. 10/10, I’d do it again. Let this be a lesson that patience in planning vengeance is completely worth having and I hope I helped make the store better for employees who aren’t management by putting the fear of god into them with the idea that my brother or anyone else from his office can just drop the fuck in whenever they want with a totally casual visit that could still fuck the management over completely. This is a good week, mates .. a very good week. Am I petty? yes. Do i hate their guts and feel like it was an entertainment that was totally worth it given what they did to the love of my life? also yes.

#also if they checked - i'm facebook friends with their international corporate lawyer. my brother obviously and the cfo who i didn't realize #at first was him bc he goes by a different name via facebook. like last name is the same but i think he uses his middle name as his first #i love it. i love it so much. #i planning on doing more stuff but i gotta take a breather and plan it carefully but #god i am L IVING #fuck that place #we laugh because i'm known here for messing with companies that fuck with people #and i did my best one like 3 years ago but amy was just like 'this is 10 miles beyond that' #long post // #i'm sorry for this but i just want to let everyone know the major reason for my incredible mood this week

[galacticlamps]

Tagged by @the--highlanders​ ! Thanks!

How many works do you have on AO3?

13

What’s your total AO3 word count?

76,200

(oh what a nice even number - I should try to mess that up as soon as possible, shouldn’t I?)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Aw man is this intentionally worded to be really hard to answer? I get that it says ‘written’ and not ‘posted’ but then what constitutes a ‘fandom?’ I definitely wrote fics for stuff I was interested in long before I even knew the word ‘fic’ - I did it throughout my childhood, and then in high school, and while I didn’t do it as much in college, it still happened from time to time. So a lot of the books/movies/tv shows/plays/musicals I wrote things for aren’t really fandoms, and frankly, I had to check my old folder just now to even remember some of them existed. I’ll just list the ones that I know for sure had fandoms, since that’s more fun (and embarrassing), right?

Obviously Doctor Who, classic and modern, Torchwood, Sherlock Holmes (ironically more of these seem to be about the books, but yes, I will admit, some for that tv show too), Les Mis, a couple different Marvel comics & movies, Good Omens, hell, I even found a Night Vale fic in there just now.

And I know there are other older things not even in that folder, some of which never made it to a computer at all, so if I had to ballpark a number I’d probably say around 25ish but really, who knows?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Across the Gap

On the Spot

Expectations

Shards of Memories & Fragments of Glass

Itemized

(this was fun, I’d never noticed Ao3 even had a stats page until now lol)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I take a long time to do so but for the most part, I usually get around to it. The rare exception would be if I first saw the comment when I was super busy/distracted and then felt like way too much time passed before I noticed it again, that it might be awkward if I said something at that point.

I do genuinely enjoy hearing what people think, but I’m also weirdly terrified of making anyone feel like they have to reply to my comments. I know that’s probably a little strange, but it’s actually a large part of why I made this Ao3 account in the first place - my original one, from high school, is followed by some long-time friends of mine who aren’t interested in this fandom, some of whom are involved in art & writing professionally. The thought of anyone like that reading something I wrote out of friendliness or even just curiosity and potentially having to pretend they liked it for the same reasons stressed me tf out, so I like having this virtually anonymous one because I can relax knowing that anyone who reads or interacts with something I wrote has probably done so only because they wanted to, rather than feeling obligated, and there’s no pressure on them to be nice to me about it if anything I write or post annoys them - so I really hope nobody who does just know me as an anonymous blog has ever worried about offending me by not replying to something, trust me, I’m perfectly happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think I’ve really written any angsty endings? I guess the answer would have to be Reckless just because it involves the characters arguing about sad/weighty things and there isn’t really any solution to those issues - but even then I think I ended it with a kind of acceptance that stops it from really qualifying as angst? I also set it in the the same universe as other fics, so maybe that doesn’t even count as an ending? Am I that bad at ending things on angst? Lol

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Obviously none of the fics I’ve posted are crossovers but I’m trying to think now if any of my WIP’s are - I’ve definitely poached setting/premise ideas from other media, but in terms of actual crossovers . . . I’ve got a few cross-era or cross-Doctor, a few involving Torchwood, but that’s already the same universe, so the only thing that’d qualify as a true crossover would be some vague pieces of a fic where Jamie, Zoe, and Two end up on the Enterprise, since I think the 60s series of Star Trek and Dr Who feel kind of compatible, don’t they? In fact, aren’t there like officially licensed crossover comics or something? Or did I make that up? Idk, and the ideas are very loose, so it’s not much of a WIP either

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope, never

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I’ve never written smut, but I’m wondering if it’s possible that could change soon. There’s a longish multi-chapter fic I’ve been working on for a frankly embarrassing amount of time, and the plot does call for a sex scene at one point towards the end, but I can’t seem to make up my mind on how - uh, I guess the word is explicit? - it should get. I know I could easily do a fade to black/implication thing, but it’s kind of a source of contention and anxiety for the characters, so to skip over writing the actual scene and just revisit them afterwards rings of “and they slept together and now everything’s fine!” which feels kinda cheap to me - in this context, anyway - and not the right payoff for a long fic that’s otherwise more of an interpersonal drama/slightly a period piece, if I had to place it in a genre. I feel like my aversion to actually writing the scene might just be prudishness I should get over, or maybe just self-doubt, because I know I’d rather have a well-written, funny, character-development-supporting sex scene than nothing at all, but since I’ve never had any interest in writing a scene like that before, I don’t know if I can do it well, and I also don’t want to ruin a fic I’m otherwise proud of by doing it badly... ugh I have to figure this out

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I seriously doubt it

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

What’s your all time favorite ship?

I mean, it’s gotta be Two & Jamie. I’ve shipped things before with varying levels of investment, but I’ve never been able to use the term ‘otp’ in a literal sense until I came across them, and now it’s already basically gone out of fashion, go figure!

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I’m not sure if I have one? My WIP doc is huge, but I don’t actually intend to get around to finishing everything in it, so I’d like to think that anything I’ve currently singled out to complete can actually get done.

That said, I do have a few AU’s that I don’t really plan to finish, but it might be cool if I could. Two of them are for all the main + some supporting characters of the Second Doctor’s era - one’s a modern day school teachers AU, and the other is a typical fantasy/fairy tale AU. Another is just Two/Jamie, based on Doctor Faustus (specifically the Marlowe play version) but right now there are two different versions of the ending coexisting in my head. I’ve written parts of scenes & some gen. backstory for all of those ideas, but I don’t know if I’ll ever try to finish them, or what form a finished product would even take - a series of one-shots set in the same universe? one long multi-chapter fic with some kind of overarching plot? And the amount of context/worldbuilding a big AU like these would require might not make them very appealing fics for people to read, so maybe it is better if I just keep them to myself, since in my head I already know what’s going on in those worlds lol.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don’t know. I haven’t had a creative writing class since middle school, and since then I’ve only ever shown creative writing to others in a fandom context, so it’s been a while since I’ve discussed it or gotten critical feedback. I suppose when I work in other arts or even academic writing contexts, people usually say I’m kind of insightful or at least detail oriented, which might just be another way of saying I overthink things, but I like to imagine I’m decent at finding little points of interest to expand upon.

What are your writing weaknesses?

If you’ve read this far I feel like you must know what I’m about to say: I do not know how to be concise.

Usually when I’m writing a fic, I put down the dialogue first on its own, leaving out the action of the scene and whatever plot/context led there, even if I’ve already figured all of that out. But then when I go to add those things in, they’re always longer than I wanted them to be. I don’t mind writing something long, but I don’t want my fics to be a slog to get through either, and there can be a point at which the stuff I’ve added for context overwhelms the stuff that I wanted the fic to be about in the first place, so it becomes a structural/proportion issue too. I haven’t completely given up on any fics because of this yet, but there’s one I’ve been struggling with for a couple months now - probably because I’m even second-guessing myself on which scenes need to be written out and which can just be referenced like a recap. Hopefully I figure that one out soon.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

((this is karma isn’t it? i posted a fic last week with two words of gaelic in it and was worried about that and now this is karma))

In general, I don’t want to do it. I feel like you’ve gotta have a really good grasp of a language to write dialogue & speech patterns for someone who’s a native speaker, and since I’m far from fluent in any language the characters I write for are, I wouldn’t feel confident writing any significant amount of dialogue in, say, Gaelic.

As a sidenote, though, I kinda love it when other people do it, particularly for Jamie. Irish (Gaeilge) and Scottish (Gàidhlig) are both languages I’ve wanted to learn for a long time, because my family’s fresh out of living speakers of either & I think that’s a shame, but I started with Irish and at the moment I’m still very much learning it. As different as they are, it still helps me understand parts of lyrics or texts that I come across in Gàidhlig fairly frequently, so when it comes up in a fic I get to feel like I’m being responsible and practicing, and it’s great when I can actually understand what’s being said.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m gonna go with Harry Potter even though that’s probably not a perfectly accurate answer - it’s almost certainly the first thing that has a fandom that I ever wrote for, but it was in a notebook when I was a kid and never something that I even typed on a computer, much less posted online or shared with other members of a fandom. But even then, I’m sure it wasn’t the first pre-existing fictional universe I ever set an original story in, because I did that a lot when I was a kid, it’s just hard to remember those clearly or on any kind of timeline.

What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I’m very partial to Across the Gap, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that ranked first on the kudos thing above - but I’ve also got a soft spot for So Merrily We’ll Sing. It’s so self-indulgent it feels silly saying ‘it was so easy to write!’ but I guess having a fic that’s already just 100% headcaonons and fluff tied together by a song you really love does prevent it from being much of a labor (I also managed to refrain from making that one unnecessarily long, so that’s another win there)

tagging @terryfphanatics and anyone else who wants to do it - sorry I’m bad at remembering whose tumblr goes with whose Ao3 account, but I really would be interested to read this if anyone else feels like answering them!

#oh boy that was long #sorry #also sorry if the 13 is really big for some reason #i dont know how it got that way so i dont know how to change it #it doesnt look like that when i edit the post only when i save it #not fic but fic talk

[phati-sari]

Hi PS..Hope u are doing well..

Wow..wow..simply wow..u posted another recap..and I loved it..like everything else u write..Kudos to u for this..

U know i have wanted to say this to you eversince i started following your worknnand when I saw someone ask something similar..i woukd like to offer support..You should publish your work..of doing so becoz its IP of four lions doesnt feel right then you can so so with the AU fics that you write..those stories are beautiful..they mean a lot to us because we imagine Arshi in them..but many of them have awesome writing and if you just give it a lil more backstory..you will have beautiful love stories..or short one..just an idea..your thought proceas..imagination and writing are wonderful

Heyya!

Ngaww thank you! I'm super glad I wrote another recap. I'm also hopeful this means good things for Charade and Tere Bin!

Hmmmmmmm.

You've made me think long and hard about this. I haven't been able to get the idea out of my head. Thanks! I have a few ideas that I've never written, maybe I can turn one of those into original fiction. The Devil's Smile could reasonably stand alone if I changed the character names. (Phata Kurta says the same, by the way.)

Take care!! ❤️

#anon ask #answered #simplycurlz

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 6 Episode 1 Recap: Group A Premiere Baby!! (Commentary & Guesses)

Hello everybody and welcome or welcome back to Ana's Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana, recap every single episode of The Masked Singer. The time we have been waiting for is here, the season 6 premiere (ooh that rhymes)! If you don't know how these recaps work, pretty much I talk about the reveals first (major spoiler alert by the way ⚠️) and then get into the remaining contestants, what I thought about their performances, guesses to who I think it could be with the clues to back it up the best I can. Anyways, having said that, let's get started with the 1st recap of season 6 (which is covering the Wednesday episode, Thursday's will be covered separately):

In this episode, Group A performed which consisted of Bull 🐂, Skunk 🦨, Octopus 🐙, Pufferfish 🐡, and Mother Nature 🌬 and 2 of them were eliminated, but only one was revealed this episode, damn cliffhangers, and that mask was:

Octopus 🐙

Performance Commentary: I was honestly so sad to see him go this early in the season, because I really enjoyed his performance of Tutti Frutti by Little Richard. He probably wasn't the most technical singer but for (spoiler) a non singer he did pretty great! I would buy his album.

Having said that, he was revealed to be:

*FIRST DRUMROLL OF THE SEASON PLEASE*

🏀Dwight Howard 🏀

Ok I kinda figured it out even though I don't know anything about the sports world... But he is one of the few names I do know in the NBA (my dad's a huge sports guy and I might have seen a meme of him falling so that too). Anyways, can I for one second, point out how tall this guy is?! He makes Nick Cannon look tiny…and Nick is 6 feet! It was so funny… I also was surprised at how funny he was… but yeah Clues, here are some you might have missed or gotten idk:

Survived a hard core fall= yup like he legit fell and hurt himself, which really hurt his game & probably his career

Gold phone= won the 2019-2020 championship with the Lakers

Magic playing card= eight seasons he played for Orlando Magic

Also, I gotta note that Ken got it right and is in the lead for the Golden Ear and that shocked me more.

Next, this mask was also eliminated, but wasn't revealed until episode 2, so I'm just gonna talk about the performance and that was:

Mother Nature 🌬

Performance Commentary: I'm not going to say I didn't see this coming, because her performance of I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross was the weakest one vocally of the night. However I still enjoyed her as a performer/entertainer and that costume is unreal like wow it reminds me of Te Fiti from Moana (look it up if you don’t know what I am talking about)

Anyways, let's get into the remaining 3 and my guesses for them *

*I just want to preface that I knew I wasn't going to have time to do this recap in between the 2 episodes, so I wrote my guess for this one mask down before they were revealed

1. Skunk 🦨

Performance Commentary: The beginning was super cool and so well staged, kudos to the producers on that one, but I was pretty underwhelmed with her performance of Diamonds by Sam Smith. Like, that's a great song, but I don't feel it suits her voice & range of what she's capable of doing. All in all, it was ok, nothing wowing about it, even though I do think her voice is very strong.

As for my guess, I think Shunk is:

Faith Evans

Ok, so this was a guess I got thanks to Twitter, voice matched it, and I am sold honestly… idk who Faith was until now, she was married to Notorious B.I.G, but that’s all I know. Anyways, let’s dive into those clues, shall we:

She was on a train to Seoul, South Korea= Soul Train! = she was honored with a lifetime achievement award in 2018 by Soul Train

Duality/yin and yang of the Skunk= she has a song that references Ying Yang in the lyrics called Goin’ Out

Her connection to Elvis= she devoted a song to her late husband Biggie called “The King & I” and Elvis is the king of rock and roll

2. Pufferfish 🐡

Performance Commentary: She sang Say So by Doja Cat, which I mostly know the entire song due to Tik Tok, so I hope people also use her version because it’s super solid. When I was watching at first, I was thrown off by the rapping, but now watching it back, I embraced it. It wasn’t the best rapping ever but it was dope ngl seeing a woman like that also kill a rap. I really enjoyed tbh more than I did the first time when I thought her voice wasn’t really at its full potential.

My guess for the Pufferfish is:

Toni Braxton

After voice matching Pufferfish with Toni, the voice is uncanny! But you need some clues baby boos so here we go:

Voice stands out, she was different, tried to blend in= no like seriously, because everyone knew it was her because Toni has a super distinct voice no one else has

Disco ball= home girl performed on season 7 of Dancing with the Stars, get it disco ball, mirror ball like the trophy they win

Guitarra= she has a hit song called Spanish Guitar, and guitar in Spanish is you guessed it Guitarra

3. Bull 🐂

Performance Commentary: He sang Drops of Jupiter by Train, and wow HE GOT VOCALS FOR DAYSSS (what he ain’t is shy so stop lying my guy). He is absolutely my favorite of the night, his voice is absolute butter, raspy butter… yes I did just say that but you know what I mean (if you don’t, it’s those nice raspy voices that are so smooth like butter). You could tell he is used to performing and singing, because wow that performance was absolutely fantastic.

Even though he was amazing, he was also super easy to guess because from the first damn note (actually from the first damn sneak peak preview they gave us of him singing), I knew who this was:

Todrick Hall (finally those hours watching YouTube as a teen are paying off lol)

Before I even get to the clues, just so you guys know, I have been watching Todrick since like 2014 on YouTube and I know his voice and his mannerisms and how he performs and that Bull ticks all the boxes… I don’t even need clues but to show you my point in the form of evidence, lemme back myself up with these sweet, sweet clues (side note: I could even hear his voice through the modulation, which was crazy):

Grew up in a small town filled with cows= yes sir, he grew up in Plainview, Texas which is a small farming town with less than 25,000 people living there (and I am sure when he lived there it was smaller than that) and filled with cows which at first I thought was a metaphor but looking into it I find out Plainview has the largest beef processing plant in the country… hence cows lol

Heard no again and again and again= reference to how he was on American Idol and then lost the show

Didn’t give up, became his own boss= that American Idol loss got him to start YouTube hence being his own boss

Hollywood and Forbes took notice= he has appeared in the 30 under 30 successful people list by Forbes in 2014

Astronaut aka Hunter Hayes= he covered Invisible by Hunter Hayes on his YouTube channel (which is my absolute favorite Hunter Hayes song so you go Todrick… but that video was actually recently sent to private so you kinda can’t see it… also that was a bit sus)

Anyways, that’s it my friends! Sorry it took so long, have had a lot on my plate with school, work, and just life you know? Anyways, I will try to get episode 2 up tomorrow, but expect it before Wednesday for sure 🤞🏼… Anyways, bye guys! Follow me for more Masked Singer goodness, give this beautiful blog a like if you enjoyed reading it, and comment below your guesses, do you agree with me? Did I convince you? Bye y’all!! 👋🏼

#the masked singer #themaskedsinger #celebrities #music #hollywood #the masked singer season 6 #dwight howard #tv shows

[kob131]

Looks like Hbomberguy's hours long crap is up(publicly).

“Made a legendary animator, his most trusted colleage (shows Shane) and two-”

People he outright went to and he acknowledged were better writers, thanks for admitting that HBomberguy and not be an insulting jackass right?

“RWBY’s failures matter because it could have been something-”

So could Twilight- That means nothing at this point other than ‘I made a bunch of headcanons and the show dared to not follow them.’

‘It’s easy to see why this show has such a devote fanbase because it frequently threatens to become good-”

So did Fairy tail (except for real) and that died out. Also you are really chipping away at my goodwill

‘People say what it promised!”

You mean this?

‘Weaken REAL criticism by being given too much attention-”

Hypocritical much douchebag?

“*insert a bunch of sarcastic bullshit mocking critics of RWBY*”

*rolls eyes* You say as you mimick them down to using the DEAD.

‘It’s separated into two eras with issues that don’t necessarily overlap-”

Bull. Fucking. Shit. Most of RWBY’s problems now ORIGINATED in the early Volumes. 

“If you’re a fan of the show you’re probably gonna dread what I’m about to say and if you’re a fan of the second half then you’ll probably agree with what I’m about to say-”

Considering you’re stupid sarcasm is just a less smug version of what I do, pretty clear ‘agreement’ and ‘actual good point’ are very different here.

“If you love RWBY and are still gonna watch, thank you and I love you for joining me on this journey.”

Less a journey and more a Seven Page Muda but sure.

“My goal isn’t to make people think less of the show-”

Which is why you openly insult it in the beginning.

“-but to think more about it.”

So far you’ve shown about as much understanding of the show as FloofArtist, complete with hypocrisy. And considering what I’ve heard about your video, you’re not getting better.

“I hope to give credit where credit is due-/It’s said failure is the best teacher-”

Which is why you openly insult people.

“’Rooster Teeth is starting game development!’ *insert insulting Steam Statistics*’

Fucking wonderful. Like you haven’t already tested my patience.

“*gushes about the Red Trailer after about eight minutes of recaping*”

Cool, eight minutes wasted on knowledge that EVERY RWBY fan knows. Literally every RWBY fan knows the origins of RT and Monty and the bitch basic knowledge of how they came together. You seem to have targeted this to RWBY fans and yet to blab about shit that you get after looking at the fandom for 2 seconds.

To say nothing of how you prove something was wrong with the Red Trailer. Namely, you never mention a plot, a personal conflict, a display of character or anything other than ‘cool music!’ and ‘animation!’ despite the show being pretty plot dependent.

*Gushes about the White Trailer*

Yet another bitch basic gushing with nothing of substance to it. For a guy who says he wants people to think critically about RWBY, you sure don’t do that for what is considered the basis of the show. It’s just talking about shit you like instead of anything worthwhile.

*Yet more gushing with the Black Trailer.*

... You know, I watch these kinds of videos searching for some kind of intellectual stimulation. Something to make me think and engage with. Right now, I get more stimulation and engagement from RWBY itself than a supposedly critical video that doesn’t even have to bother with anything original.

“The show already has generic monsters who just want to destroy humanity and yet you have written your characters to act exactly the same-”

And within your own bitching, you discovered the counter. The Grimm have nothing really to explore about them outside giving them variations and powers whereas the human characters can have these things called ‘motives’ and ‘reasons’. Not to mention even you would say people act like that in real life *cough* anyone NOT of your political alignment *cough*.

“And the audience is left with one lingering though...he can make that jump.”

How does it feel that Family Guy did a better version of your joke?

“She’s written like two adult men who have never written anything professional before except Red Vs. Blue wrote a Teenage girl-”

.... Monty wrote her based off her voice actress.  You’ve also made me regret ever using this same insult against Miles and Kerry so congrats on that.

*Even more gushing...*

You know, I am legitimately considering rewatching the Persona episode of Game Theory because at least MatPat’s faffing about is short and he has more content in his first eighteen minutes than this.

“More people have gone back to watch the trailers than watch actual episodes of the show!”

The trailers are the first thing people would watch to know about the series- no shit they’d be higher in view count.

“It’s so hard to not be onboard with the trailers!”

It’s actually very easy, especially in their release.

Why? Simple, a lot of the depth in the trailers only exists with context from the show itself. The White Trailer is cool and all but it’s symbolism and deeper meaning comes from Weiss’ backstory and the truth depth of Blake leaving Adam and what it causes is found in the show, the two best trailers while Red is just mindless fun that you can get better from other places and Yellow is just kind of neat.

How the fuck am I the more critical of the two of us so far?

“Then the show actually came out and it was terrible-”

Piece of advice, don’t follow this up with a super janky, uncanny valley 3D animation that makes Volume 1 look appealing.

“RWBY isn’t just a bad show, it’s a bad show that could have been something-”

*cracks neck*

The idea that RWBY or any show ‘had potential’ is most often used when a person once had a fondness for the property in question but has long since lost the goodwill to see it in a positive light, trying to make up for the cognitive dissonance of the conflict between liking what it once was and disliking what it is now. The issue here is that these so called ‘issues’ are born of the original creator who either founded the show or helped found it which means that it was pretty much DESTINED to be this way as the creator’s specific interpretation of their own work is what resonated with you in the first place and was likely built up to in the subtle inner workings of the show, thus making the big changes you want so badly would cause a ripple effect that would have affected your past impression of the show because everything in a show is connected. And in all likelyhood, your impression would have soured no matter what.

Tl;Dr- ‘It had potential!’ is self defeating and stupid.

‘The creators are receptive to criticism!...well, they try to be.-”

Oh boy I can’t wait for Mr. ‘kill half of all babies’ to try and speak about THIS topic.

“You don’t engage with any of the good faith criticism and just reward shitty people with attention. And I hope to show them that as a lifelong fan of RT and Monty Oum, that I’m saying this thinking RWBY could have been good...and still could be.”

Says the man who when referencing Miles for the first time, actively SEPERATED him from being a ‘treasured college’ of his friend and insulted him with Yang even though the fault lied with MONTY. 

All while referencing a tweet where he chews someone out for saying EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ( ‘God this is why i hate this fandom. You miss the point. If I critise the show I'm a hater because you worship it. I'M OFFERING CRITISM U IDIOT SO THE SHOW SEES ITS FAULTS AND FIXES THEM. HOW THE FUCK CAN U KEEP MOVING FORWARD IF YOU DON'T IDENTIFY YOUR OWN FAULTS AND LEARN’). Yeah great job there jackass- How exactly are you any different from this fucker?

So that’s my thoughts on the first twenty or so minutes. Can already tell it’s gonna be shit.

[lacquerware]

2020 Recap - My Year in Gaming

2020. What a year for video games. I had big plans for last year, but in the end I did very little besides play video games, and I don’t think I’m alone there since we were all stuck at home looking for a way out of reality. I wanted to do a year-end recap as I’ve done sporadically in past years, but this one will be different than the typical “Games of the Year” format because despite all the games I played in 2020, almost none of them came out in 2020, and some of the things that defined my year in gaming weren't even games. 

Resident Evil 3 Remake (PS4)

RE3 was one of the only games I played in 2020 that didn’t coincide with the deadly pandemic's spread across the US. RE3 is, of course, a game about the spread of a deadly virus in Anytown, USA. It was an appetizer, I guess. 

When the Resident Evil 2 remake dropped in 2019, there were some things I loved about it, and a few things that felt like steps back from the original. I feel much the same about RE3. I had also theorized that a Resident Evil 3 remake would be better off as RE2 DLC than as a separate full-length game, and considering how short RE3 turned out, with some of the best sections of hte original cut entirely (namely, the clock tower), I stand by my theory. 

Oh well, at least Jill gets this rad gun, which for the time being is the closest thing to a new Lost Planet we can hope for anytime soon.

Sekiro (PS4)

Sekiro is the first video game I ever Platinumed. This is partly because conquering the base game was such a spartan exercise that going the extra mile to get the Platinum didn’t seem so bad, but it’s also surely a result of the pandemic. I needed a project and a big win. Who didn't? 

I wrote at length about why I like Sekiro more than every other modern FromSoft game, and also about the game’s cherry-on-top moment that reminded me of blowing up Hitler’s face in Bionic Commando. Please read them!

Death Stranding (PS4)

Release date notwithstanding, this was obviously the Game of 2020. I wrote about it here, here, and here. This game bears the distinction of being the second one I ever Platinumed. It took 150 hours. Only then did I learn I had a hoverboard.

Streets of Rage 4 (PS4)

This is the only 2020 game I played for more than a few hours. In fact, I cleared the entire game at least five times. I still don’t think it captures the gritty aesthetic of the prior Streets of Rages (nor even tries to), but this is probably the best-feeling bup I've played. Huge bonus points for finally bringing back Adam, but in the end I found it hard not to pick Blaze every time.

Blaster Master Zero 2 (Switch)

What impressed me about this sequel from Inti Creates was that it wasn’t just more of the same, even though that would've been fine. BMZ2 builds on its already excellent predecessor with a catchy new format where players can freely cruise the cosmos and stages take the varied form of planets—some big and sprawling, others short and sweet. Hopping at will from planet to planet without ever knowing what experiences and treasure each one held felt like system jumping in No Man’s Sky and island hopping in The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, both of which felt like opening presents.

Dragon Force (Saturn)

Charming, satisfying, and addictive as a bag of chips. Unlike a bag of chips, when it’s over, you can do it all again. And again. And it’ll be different each time! This might be the first strategy game I've truly loved. Better late than never.

The PC Engine Mini

The PC Engine/TurboGrafx-16 Mini seems a particularly justifiable mini-console for people outside Japan because so many missed these consoles entirely, the games are hard to obtain, and the lineup includes titles spanning the entire convoluted Turbo/PC Engine ecosystem—the TurboGrafx-CD/CD-ROM², Super CD-ROM², Arcade CD-ROM² and SuperGrafx, in addition to plain, old standard HuCard games. I myself didn’t know the first thing about these systems before. It’s like reliving the nineties again for the first time. 

Most of the titles included are simple action games that don't require a command of Japanese, but make no mistake: being able to understand Snatcher and TokiMemo does make me feel like an elite special person worth more than many of you. 

(Side note: From a gender representation perspective, the difference between Snatcher and Death Stranding is stark. Virtually every interaction with every woman or girl in Snatcher is decorated with ways to sexually harass her. Guess someone finally had a conversation with our favorite auteur.)

A Gaming PC

I’d threatened to transition to PC gaming for years after beholding the framerate difference between the console and PC versions of DmC in 2012, and last July I finally took the leap, buying an ASUS “Republic of Gamers” (ugh) laptop with an NVIDIA GeForce RTX 2070 Max-Q GPU. It seems like consoles are getting more PC-like all the time, especially with all these half-step iterations that splinter performance and sometimes even the feature set (à la the New 3DS and Switch Lite), so with the impending new generation seemed like a fine time to change course.

In the half-year since, I’ve barely played a single PC game more recent than 2013, but just replaying PS3-era games at high settings has been like rediscovering them for the first time. 

I also finally experienced keyboard-and-mouse shooting and understand now why PC gamers think they're better than everyone else. Max Payne is a completely different game with a mouse. Are all shooters like this??

The USPS

Early in the year, I rediscovered my childhood game shop, Starland, which is now  an online hub known as eStarland.com with a brick-and-mortar showroom. To my delight, it has become one of the best and most modestly priced sources for import Saturn games in the country, and I scored Shining Force III’s second and third episodes, long missing from my collection, for a mere ten bucks each!  

In June, I treated myself to a trio of Saturn imports from eStarland: the tactics-meets-dating-sim mashup Sakura Taisen 2, the nicely presented RTS space opera Quo Vadis 2, and beloved gothic dungeon crawler Baroque. Miraculously, this haul amounted to just around thirty dollars total. Less miraculously, they never arrived. This was the second time I’d had something lost in the mail in my entire life, and also the second time that month. Something was wrong with the USPS, and it wasn’t just COVID pains. We would soon learn Trump had been actively working to sabotage one of the nation’s oldest and most reliable institutions in a plot to compromise the upcoming presidential election.

Frankly it’s a miracle there’s still such a thing as “delivery” at all, and a few missing video games is the last of my worries considering what caused it, but nevertheless this was an experience in my gaming life that could not have happened any other year. I won’t forget it.

*By the way, USPS reimbursed me for the insured value of the missing order, which was fifty bucks. So I actually profited a little off the experience.

Mega Everdrive Pro

I love collecting for the Genesis and Mega Drive, but I will not pay hundreds of dollars for a video game that retailed for about sixty.  The publishers never asked for that, and the developers won’t see a (ragna)cent of the money. I'm also far less inclined to start collecting for Sega CD, since the hardware is notoriously breakable, the cases are huge and also breakable, and the library just isn't that good. 

Still, I'd been increasingly curious about the add-on as an interesting piece of Sega history, so when I learned Ukranian mad scientist KRIKzz had released a new Mega Everdrive that doubled as a Sega CD FPGA, I finally took the plunge into the world of flash carts. This has proven a great way to play some of the Mega Drive’s big-ticket rarities I will never buy—namely shmups like Advanced Busterhawk Gley Lancer and Eliminate Down—as well as try out prospective additions to the collection. I never would have discovered the phenomenal marvel of engineering and synth composition that is Star Cruiser without this thing, but now that I have, it’s high on the shopping list.

The Mega Everdrive Pro is functionally nearly identical to TerraOnion’s “Mega SD” cartridge, but slightly less expensive, comes in a “normal” cartridge shell instead of the larger Virtua Racing-style one, and supports a single hardworking dude in Ukraine rather than a company with reportedly iffy customer service.

Twitch

Getting a PC also resolved issues that had long prevented me from achieving a real streaming setup, and much of my gaming life in 2020 was about ramping up my streaming efforts. I even made Affiliate in about a month. Streaming has been a great creative outlet and distraction, as well as a way to connect with other people during the COVID depression and structure my gaming time. Find me every Monday through Thursday 8-11pm Eastern at twitch.tv/lacquerware.  

Metroid: Other M (Dolphin)

PC ownership also gave me access to the versatile Dolphin emulator, liberating a handful of great Wii exclusives from their disposable battery-powered prison. 

One of the Wii games I fired up on Dolphin was Metroid: Other M, a game I’d always wanted to try but had been dissuaded by years of bad publicity and the fact that I never had any goddamn batteries. I know I should temper what I’m about to say by acknowledging that I was playing at 1080p/60fps on a PS4 controller so my experience was automatically a vast improvement over that of all Wii players, but I’m increasingly confident Metroid: Other M was the most fun I’ve ever had playing a Metroid game. I haven’t decided yet if I’m willing to die on this hill, but I will just say that if you like the Metroidvania genre in general and aren’t particularly attached to the Metroid series’ story or its habit of making you wander aimlessly for hours, there’s a very high chance you will enjoy Other M—especially if you play it on Dolphin.

Don't Starve Together (PC)

Don't Starve is the only game my friend Jason plays, so last year I tried to get into it with him. I respect this game's singular devotion to the concept of survival, but make no mistake: every session of Don't Starve ends with you starving to death. Or freezing. Or getting stomped by a giant deity of the forest. The entire game is staving off death until it inevitably comes. Even when death comes, you can revive infinitely (in whatever mode we were playing), which means even death is not an end goal. There is no end goal. You don't even have the leeway to "play" and create your own meaning as you do in similarly zen  games like Dead Rising. 

Don't Starve is a game for people for whom hard work is the ultimate reward in and of itself. Don't Starve told me something about Jason. 

G-Darius (PS1)

In the early fall, Sony announced they were dropping PS3, PSP, and Vita support from the browser and mobile versions of their PSN Store, and since the PS3 version of the store app runs like a solar-powered parking meter in Seattle, I decided this was my last chance to stock up on Japanese PSN gems. 

Among my final haul, the PS1 port of G-Darius proved an instant favorite. Take down the usual cast of mechanized fish in a vibrant, chunky, low-poly style that perfectly inhabits the constraints of the original PlayStation hardware. I believe this is the first Darius game that lets you get into giant beam duels with the bosses, which is quite definitely one of the coolest things a video game has ever let you do. The PS1 port is also surprisingly feature-rich, including some easier difficulty levels that present an actually surmountable challenge for non-savants.

This one’s coming to the upcoming Darius Cozmic Revelation collection on Switch alongside DARIUSBURST, a good-ass romp in its own right.

Red Entertainment

In my effort to shine a tiny spotlight on some of the unsung Interesting Games of gaming, I found myself drawn again and again to the work of Red Entertainment. First there were cavechild headbutt simulator Bonk’s Adventure and twin shmups Gates of Thunder and Lords of Thunder on the PC Engine Mini. Then I streamed full playthroughs of the PS2’s best samurai-era, off-brand 3D Castlevania, Blood Will Tell and the Trigun-adjacent stand-‘n-gun, Gungrave: Overdose. Then I was dazzled by Bonk’s Adventure’s futuristic spin-off cute-‘em-up, Air Zonk, which was also sneakily tucked away on my PC Engine Mini in the “TurboGrafx-16” section. It turned out all these games were made by the same miracle developer responsible for Bujingai, the stylish PS2 wushu game starring Gackt and a household name here at the Lacquerware estate. How prolific can one team be???

Month of Cyberpunk

In November, I started toying with the idea of themed months on my Twitch channel with “Cyberpunk month.” It was supposed to be a build-up to Cyberpunk 2077’s highly anticipated November release, but holy shit that didn’t happen, did it? Still, I always find myself gravitating toward this genre in November, I guess because I associate November with gloom (even though this year it was sunny almost every day). A month is a long time to adhere to a single theme, but cyberpunk is such a well-served niche in gaming that I could easily start an all-cyberpunk Twitch channel. The fact that we’re so spoiled with choice makes Cyberpunk 2077’s terrible launch all the more embarrassing. Here are just some of the games I played (and streamed!) in November:

Ghostrunner Shadowrun (Genesis) RUINER Remember Me Transistor Rise of the Dragon (Sega CD) Shadowrun (Mega CD) Cyber Doll (Saturn) Binary Domain Shadowrun Returns Blade Runner (PC) Deus Ex: Human Revolution Deus Ex: Mankind Divided Observer

Shadowrun on the Genesis gets my top pick, but the two most recent Deus Ex games are great alternatives for those looking for something in the vein of 2077 that isn’t infested with termites.

Lost Planet 2

Every year. I played through it twice in 2020.

Dead Rising 4

I slept on this one too long. While it's a far cry from the original game, it's easily the most fun I've had with a Christmas game since Christmas NiGHTS. This is the game a lot of people thought they were getting when they bought the original Dead Rising with their new Xbox 360--goofy, indulgent, and pressure-free.

Devil May Cry 5: Vergil (PS4)

Vergil dropped for last-gen consoles in December and breathed a whole lot of life into a game that was already at the head of its class.

Nioh 2

I’ve only played a few hours of Nioh 2 because I promised my friend I’d co-op it with him and wouldn’t play ahead. But he’s a grad student with two small children. Nevertheless, Nioh 2 is my Game of 2020.

And that's it! Guess I'll spend 2021 playing games that came out last year, and maybe eventually getting vaccinated? Please? 

#2020 year in review best of games of the year game of the year goty recap lacquerware death stranding sekiro darius g-darius video games gam #dragon force #2020 #year in review #best of #games of the year #game of the year #goty #recap #review #lacquerware #death stranding #sekiro #darius #g-darius #video games #games #gaming #nioh #nioh 2 #devil may cry #devil may cry 5 #dmc5 #vergil #dead rising 4 #dr4 #frank west #christmas games #lost planet #lp2

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 512

Looking for a way to spend Mother’s Day? Well, we here at Outlander have the perfect idea! Celebrate with the women you love by watching us gang rape grannie!

This episode is like the perfect storm of everything that is wrong with Outlander. The cast and crew saying it’s their strongest episode yet when it’s basically artsy gang rape. The CYA trigger warnings when the story would have worked perfectly well without including yet another rape. The kool aid-drinking fans yelling at and acting holier than thou at the fans who rightfully call out the massive problem this show has with rape and assault. The fans yelling at other fans because It’S iN tHe BoOk so it has to be included. The fans yelling at other fans for wanting to follow the books but not wanting rape every 0.5 seconds. The fans yelling at other fans to fuck off if they don’t like the show. The women in the cast throwing out trigger warnings while the men are radio silent or wanting the gladiators to face the plague and fight for their own amusement. It literally has everything.

And I am tired.

I’ve been in this fandom for six years and have had quite a journey. From first discovering the show and immediately devouring the books. The honeymoon period where I could headcanon out all the problematic bits. The getting deep into the fandom nonsense. The getting out of the fandom nonsense. The judging the fandom nonsense because it’s funny and they’re all idiots. The getting sick of the fandom nonsense because it’s not even fun to judge the dummies anymore. The becoming more and more aware that it’s impossible to whistle past the problems in the books and the show. The sticking around, holding out hope things might turn around and the initial magic could be recaptured. And finally, the giving up.

The books are trash. The show is trash. There are a handful of good scenes in each which can be enjoyed on their own, but as a whole, holy shit this stuff is not good. (Seriously, I tried to do a Fiery Cross reread before the season started. I started like a year ago and am still only at Jocasta’s wedding because I just don’t care enough to actually get through it.)

Which brings us here. I am tired. I have already ranted and raged and yelled and swore and wrote far too many words about the gratuitous overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. It fucking has its own tag for fuck’s sake.

So here’s a recap. And then I think I’m done looking at this show in detail. Not because the idiot fans insist on coming to my notes to tell me to fuck off if I don’t like the show. Not because the crew are condescending douchecanoes. Not because the author is a misogynist garbage heap. But because spending an hour of my time for a few weeks out of the year to write these things isn’t worth it. I did it for as long as I did because it took so little time. So why not? But yeah, it’s not even worth that tiny commitment anymore.

And to the people who I know will @ me about how no one was forcing me to stick around and I could have quit any time, yeah, no shit captain obvious, I know that. Fuck off already. I stuck around because I really liked the little corner of the fandom that I’d found. I made some awesome friends. Most of those friends have since quit the fandom. I’m really glad to have them in my life outside of this little corner of the internet. And it was a fun writing exercise. I don’t really like the show anymore, but I enjoyed building an argument about why I don’t like it and think it’s bad that has valid points behind it. Especially considering how blindly overly adoring a bunch of the fandom is about it. But now I think I’d rather consume Outlander content as pretty people in pretty period costumes in gifsets. Or like, on in the background but not really paying close attention. Why not quit altogether? Because to quote the great Ron Swanson (I’m halfway through a Parks rewatch and I just love that show a lot ok.), I can do what I want. And besides, there’s like a fucking library’s worth of fics that I haven’t read and have been meaning to. And I like the characters enough to want to keep reading about them in stories that are better than the canon. (Bless you fic writers, blesssss.)

So. Was this whole ramble self-indulgent and overly serious for a fucking TV show? Absofuckinglutely. But please see the aforementioned Swansonism.

Alright, fuckos. Let’s do this.

This is a Roberts brainchild, isn’t it. *checks credits* Yup. Knew it. This feels very much like a Roberts special. In that he is probs quite pleased with himself but like, it’s crap.

Yes, we ARE doing ANOTHER rape story! But look! It’s a disassociation montage! It’s the ‘60s, get it?! There are callbacks! An orange from the king in season 2! A vase from season 1! A rabbit from season 3! An amber-looking dragonfly! Jamie with the young hair spouting off book lines! ApPrEcIaTe MuH aRt! We are so good at finding new and creative ways to rape our characters! Fuck off, twatwaffle. You are the worst.

Like, does Roger feel left out at this point? He’s only been hanged. Literally everyone else has either been raped, been sexually assaulted, or been threatened with rape and/or sexual assault.

“But it’s not gratuitous! Look! They’re all so different! Jamie’s was overly graphic and he got a half a season to brood about! We manged to not show much of Fergus’ (but still showed a thrust) because he’s a child and it was just a plot device for Jamie and not actually about him! Mary’s was about Fred! Claire’s with the king was about Jamie! Jamie’s with Geneva was shot like p0rn! Marsali being threatened by the sailors was to motivate Fergus! Bree’s was about the other people in the room and Roger! Claire’s really has no purpose because she’s already been kidnapped and beaten, and that is super traumatic, and we’re gonna wrap it up with a bow by the end of the episode!”

This fucking show, guys. This fucking show.

Bonus points* for the Black character spouting off the superstitious stuff.

*By bonus points I mean this show, and the books are absolute shit on matters of race. The books especially.

The cast and crew have 100% heard everyone’s thoughts on the overuse of rape in the Outlanderverse. And their response has been to include more and more of it. We had a whole season of one character’s arc being about her rape and literally as soon as that was resolved, they gang rape another character. It really does tell you as much as you need to know about them. Lazy. Fucking. Cowards.

Kidnapping not enough trauma? Let’s add some gang rape! Gang rape not enough trauma? Let’s add visualizing that your daughter and grandchild are dead! Just like Fred died! This show really brings trauma p0rn to a whole new level.

Called the Bree and Roger shit.

This scene with the men rallying to go save Claire is like another layer of fuck you. Bree, you stay home, men, give your hero lines and let’s have a getting ready montage. Because your hero moment is what this is really all about. And your manpain about killing someone. *screams into a pillow*

The petty side of me is happy that it was Fergus and Young Ian who are with Claire when they find her and not Roger. Her two sons...

Why yes, I am judging all of the fans who like get their panties all wet over Jamie being like “It is I who kills for her.” Like “yeah go ahead and rape and beat Claire within an inch of her life if it means the big strong man gets to come in and save her and say something intense.” Fuck off and go take a hard look at yourself and what that says about you.

“Was there an Indian there?” “Nope, he wouldn’t help you because LiOnEl but somehow was able to peace out when it was in his interest. Because he is as bad as the ones who actually raped you.”

The Bree and Claire hug makes me both sad and angry. I want to hug them both and take them out of this fucking place and tell them that they’ve been done dirty and deserved fucking better from the writers.

Glad Marsali gets in on the hug. Claire’s two remaining daughters.

Claire’s “I have fucking survived” speech is like the one time she she actually talks about herself not in relation to a man. It’s about her. Claire. HOWEVER! It is epically fucked up that a woman needs to check off all the trauma she’s endured to show she’s a strong character.

So. Fucked. Up.

The fact that we’re spending time on Roger’s manpain about killing someone also really tells us a lot about the show’s feelings toward women. Yeah, killing someone is a big deal. It’s normal and expected to have feelings about it. But the juxtaposition of Claire’s speech about all of her traumas with Roger being like yeah, I killed a guy who had kidnapped, beaten and raped your mom is like, read the room, bro/writers.

The fact that the men put Claire’s rapist in her surgery, her space, her place of healing, where she is able to be most herself, makes me want to punch each and every one of them in the throat. Like seriously. Fuck each and every one of them.

Also Lionel is like cartoonishly terrible. Not that nuance has ever been this show’s strong suit. But like come the fuck on.

Marsali killing Lionel is the one thing about this episode that I didn’t hate. The men are all like “We kill for Claire! Let’s all rally in this montage and go do the manly thing of defending the woman!” Marsali is just like, yeah, that’s my Ma you fucked with. She shows some agency. She doesn’t do it in a performative way for the other men or for Claire like the guys do. She just knows this fuck needs to die, knows it’s gonna be hard for her and might damn her soul (don’t worry Marsali, all that religion crap is bullshit), and does it anyway.

Marsali’s arc has been my favorite of this whole fucking series. The one bright spot I was hanging on to all of this season especially.

Her quick scene with Jamie doesn’t bother me like Roger’s does. Because Roger is like oh no, I killed a guy! Can you forgive me? For killing a rapist? Like fuck off, bro. And Marsali is like yeah, I killed a guy. I hope I’m not damned for it, but the guy needed to die so I did it.

Also like, Richard had potential to not be cartoonishly bad. But like nope. “He reaped what he sowed, but cLeArLy I’m gonna need to escalate this further. Because manly men can’t let shit go.”

Fuck all men, tbh.

*googles how to emigrate to Themyscira*

Jamie’s speech that’s like supposed to parallel Claire’s can fuck all the way off. Giving him the last voice over just underscores how this was all about men. Not Claire. But the men. Fuuuuck everything.

Look! Everything’s fine again! Back to normal! Peaceful for a bit! With a cheesy af on the nose storm coming! So you know something bad’s coming! In case you forgot!

And Jamie got a book line. So it’s all good now.

And don’t worry about Claire, y’all. She feels safe now. Her and Jamie fucked it out.

It’s amazing, in retrospect, that I ever let this story suck me in so much.

Happy Mother’s Day! See you on the other side of the hiatus.

#* #outlander starz #outlander 5x12 #drunj!der yells about outlander #rape in outlander