#And not getting the support from my parents but seeing my brother get it.... It drives me insane

[angel5ofp0rn]

Are the kids parent trapping john and the reader? 😭💞

Oh, they absolutely are 🙂‍↕️

(u totally cured my writers block i’m gonna give u a lil kiss)

PT 1 / PT 2 / PT 3 / PT 4 😋

ExHusband!Price x f!reader

*one of my biggest icks when i read stuff like this is when the writer names the kids and the names are ugly but i did that here and im so sorry. a thousand apologies. 😔

You and John stood in the mudroom, playing a divorced couple who had no lingering feelings.

Acting as if you didn’t spend all weekend weak in the knees at the sight of him walking around the house shirtless in his grey sweatpants like he never left.

Pretending that John didn’t ask you to take him back.

Like you didn’t fuck. Like you didn’t even kiss.

“I’ll bring the kids by next weekend, then.” You say casually, arms crossed as you lean against the archway.

John just nods as he pulls on his boots.

“Gabriel has a… a parent-teacher meeting on Wednesday.” You mention, trying to sound nonchalant. “They’re usually just an in-and-out kind of thing, we look at his artwork and whatever. It’s nothing serious… but if you wanted to go-”

“What time?” John asks as he stands up from the bench.

“5pm.”

John nods again. “I’ll be there.”

You chew your lower lip as you look at him. Why is him wanting to be a good dad so…

“Gabriel, Linnie! Come say bye to dad!” You call over to the playroom where the children were.

The little ones race around the corner in no time, crashing into their dad and clinging their little arms and legs around his legs, sitting on his boots.

“We don’t want daddy to go!” The youngest pouts.

“Why can’t dad have another sleepover?” The oldest whines.

“Right, you two. Stop giving mummy a hard time.” John puts on the stern dad voice for a moment.

The kids whine and moan but eventually listen to their dad and un-cling themselves from his legs.

“Since daddy had a sleepover with us this weekend, you two can have a sleepover with him next weekend. Deal?”

“Will you come to daddy’s sleepover too, mummy?” The youngest asks innocently.

You blush.

John grins, his eyebrows raising.

“No… I…”

“Please come to daddy’s sleepover!” The youngest begs, puppy dog pout and all.

“You and daddy can have kissies and we won’t even look this time.” The oldest offers earnestly.

You hear John stifle a laugh.

You shoot him a glare.

“We’ll talk about it later.” Is all you can offer. “Give your dad a big hug so he can get going.”

They listen, for once. They each give John and big bear hug and in return receive a kiss on the head.

Then they both stood to the side and watched John and you, as if they were waiting for something.

“See you Wednesday, mummy.” John grins as he opens the door.

“Goodbye, daddy.” You roll your eyes, a dumb smile on your lips as you close it after him.

“No kissies?” The youngest child frowns, looking to her big brother in confusion, her little hands up in a shrug.

The older child shrugs as well, as if he’s just as confused by this.

•••

When Wednesday night rolls around you start to regret inviting John to Gabe’s school.

You just went two whole days without him. Things were finally going back to normal.

You walk in to the school with your oldest holding one of your hands, you other hand supporting the youngest on your hip.

The three of you wait around by the front doors for a while.

5:00

5:05

5:23

“Maybe daddy got busy with work.” You force a smile as you try to reassure your five year old. “Let’s just get in there, I wanna see your classroom!”

“I wanna wait for dad.” Your oldest crosses his arms.

“Yeah!” The youngest follows suit, crossing her little arms as she stands next to the oldest.

Why did you even tell them that he was coming? You glance down at your phone, still not seeing any notifications from John.

“Look, let’s just go in. Your dad is-”

“Daddy!” The two children squeal and giggle when they see John walk through the doors. They go running, being scooped up into his arms.

“You’re late.” You cross your arms.

“Showed up, though, didn’t I?” He smiles, though you have a feeling there’s something hiding behind it.

He sets the oldest to his feet and the rest of you follow him to the classroom. The youngest squirms out of John’s hold so she can run around and touch… well, everything.

“Mrs. Price!” Your oldest’s teacher greets you cheerily. “Good to see you again!”

John quirks an eyebrow at you.

Mrs. Price?

You kept his last name?

Of course you pretend not to see his reaction to the news.

It’s not that big of a deal, really. You just didn’t want to do the extra paperwork.

“Mr. Price, I don’t believe we’ve met.” The young, pretty teacher smiles as he extends her hand to John.

The comment, though true, hurt John. It really made him realize how much he’s been missing out on since the divorce.

“John.” He corrects her as he shakes her hand, grinning.

“John.” She repeats softly, as if trying to remember it.

You swear you see her cheeks turn pink.

If it wasn’t for the kids being here, you’d fucking-

“Mum!” Gabe tugs on your pant leg.

You turn to see what he was pointing at.

Behind you was a wall full of artwork, mostly of little stick people or random scribbles. Above all the art were the words “Our Families”.

“Aww, which one is yours, monkey?” You smile, lifting your oldest so he can point to his artwork for you.

You follow his little finger to a white paper with a house shape containing four figures.

Above their heads are written mum, dad, me, sissy.

“John,” you call over your shoulder. “Come look at what Gabe drew.”

John is by your side in a second, your youngest in his arms.

“You know, he used to draw two houses.” You glance at John.

“Huh…” John nods, taking in the artwork. “How ‘bout that…”

•••

“Thank you for coming with. It meant a lot to Gabriel.” You tell John as the two of you stand between your cars in the parking lot.

“Not a problem, lovie.” He smiles softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You look down at the snow under your boots before looking back up.

“Miss Halle has the hots for you, huh?” You ask with slightly bitter tone.

“Does she now?” John grins, his head tilted to the side. “Didn’t notice.”

“Like hell you didn’t notice. She was all, ‘Ooh, John.’” You mimic. John laughs.

“Jealous, are you?”

“No.” You frown, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “It was just… unprofessional, you know?”

John just grins.

There it is.

Fuck, he missed that. Missed knowing you cared.

“Drive home safely, lovie.” John says finally.

You nod, turning to get into your car, but you’re stopped by a hand on your arm.

John turns you around and plants a kiss to your lips.

You just let him, knees weak, his hands cupping your face.

He has you. You’re his…

The two children in the backseat of your car, watching through the window from their car seats, turn to each other and smile triumphantly.

#call of duty #captain john price #captain john price x reader #captain price #john price #cod smut #captain price smut #cod headcanons #cod mwii #cod x reader #cod fluff #price headcannon #captain price fluff #price headcanons #price x reader #exhusband!price #cod x fem!reader #141 x reader #cod x you #x reader #dad!price

[minniesmutt]

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: I.N X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: NON IDOL!AU, YANDERE!I.N, DUBCON/NONCON, VIOLENCE, OBSESSION, KIDNAPPING (READER GOES WILLINGLY BUT ISN'T ALLOWED TO LEAVE; NOT EXPLICITLY SAID EITHER BUT IMPLIED), ROUGH SEX, BONDAGE, BITING, COERCIAN, UNPROTECTED SEX, BREEDING (FORCED), DACRYPHILIA, ORAL (F. REC), FINGERING, CHOKING, SLAPPING, LOVE BOMBING, HINTED AT FREE USE, LINGERIE, IT'S JUST FUCKED UP HONESTLY ☾ ━━━ WC: 3.4K ☾ ━━━ NOTE: THIS IS FAR DARKER THAT WHAT I USUALLY WRITE. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED; might make a part two with a bit of a happier ending but we'll see 🙃 ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog

     There were signs. There were always signs but the rose-colored glasses hid them far too well. Y/n should have listened to her friends. She should have listened to her family but there was no way someone as nice and sweet as Jeongin would hurt her. Right?

     “Y/n, he’s not protective. Jeongin is obsessed with you,” Changbin told her. He’d been her best friend since they were kids. They grew up together, he was like a brother to her.

     “Everyone keeps saying that!” Y/n exclaimed as she put her head in her hands. “I think you guys all don’t like that I’m happy with him!”

     “I think he is manipulating you. He didn’t let you go out with Hyunjin last week for his birthday.”

     “And thankfully I listened because now he, Chan, and Felix are in a coma, Changbin.”

     “And I don’t think he got hit by a drunk driver in that Uber.”

     “Are you trying to blame Innie for it? He was with me all night!”

     “Y/n, he told you six months into dating him to stop talking to your parents,” Changbin reminded her

     “So? They weren’t giving me support. Why would I wanna have people in my life that don’t support my decisions!”

     “Because they can see how crazy he is!”

     “Whatever,” Y/n rolled her eyes and gathered her things, “Thanks for the coffee Changbin.”

     “Y/n…” Changbin sighed as she walked out of the café

     Y/n walked over to her car and got inside. Taking a deep breath before her phone rang.

     Innie 🩷

     Y/n answered her phone as she started her car. “Hey,” She sighed

     “Hey, baby. You okay? You sound tired,” Jeongin asked

     “Yeah. Just met with Changbin for coffee. About to head home. How was work?”

     “Alright. Same old same old. What’d you guys talk about?”

     “I don’t wanna talk about it. Tired of talking about the same shit with everyone.” 

     “I’m sorry baby. Do you want to come over then? Get your mind off whatever it is?”

     “Can I?”

     “Of course. I just got back but I’m gonna hop in the shower. You know where the key is?”

     “Yeah. I’ll be there soon. I love you.” 

     “I love you too.”

     Y/n hung up the phone and put on her seatbelt, pulling off and heading to her boyfriend’s, listening to the playlist that they had made together. She was replaying the conversation she’d had with Changbin in her head.

     She had pulled up to his building and walked up to his unit. Grabbing the key he had hidden for her she walked in. Announcing her presence just in case he had gotten out of the shower. She could still hear the shower running as she set her stuff down and slipped her shoes off. It shut off not long after she hung up her bag and she walked into his kitchen and grabbed some water. She sat on his couch and waited for her boyfriend to join her.

     After a few minutes, Jeongin walked out from down the hall and pecked her forehead before sitting down next to her, “Hi baby.”

     “Hi innie,” Y/n said as she wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into him

     “Sure you don’t wanna talk about it? You seem upset about it,” Jeongin pointed out, wrapping his arm around her.

     “It’s all the same shit. Not worth talking about it again and again.” 

     “I’m sorry, baby.”

     “Sometimes I wish it was just us. No one else to give their opinion or tell me to leave you.”

     “We could always run away,” Jeongin suggested

     “That’d be nice. Start a new life.” Y/n giggled, thinking her boyfriend was joking, that he was playing into her little fantasy.

     Jeongin just kissed her head before turning on the TV. Turning their current show on. Waiting. All he needed was an opportunity. Just one, and he would take it.

     Jeongin loved his girlfriend, like no one else in her life. Her parents did not like him, he knew that. He’d overheard her dad telling her “there’s something off about” him. That she should “be careful”— she should have. She’d come to him a bit upset and he proudly had convinced her to cut them off. 

     “You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions. And you know what’s best for you, you don’t need people telling you what to do.”

     Hyunjin and Chan also had too many unsolicited opinions for Jeongin’s taste. But he couldn’t do anything without raising suspicions of her other friends. It wasn’t hard for him to do the dirty work for him. Though he was a bit upset they only ended up in a coma. Felix getting put in one too wasn’t the plan but it was one less person

     Changbin had been an issue since they met. The fact he was still around pissed him off. He needed to know what was said in that conversation. He could tell he still had his hold on Y/n at the very least.

     He’d played off his idea as a spontaneous trip. A quiet weekend, just the two of them. He’d even packed for her, not making her worry about a thing. The place was fully remote, with not much of a signal, and miles from the city. A remote cabin he paid cash for. Owned under a fake name that he’d been working months on to make perfect. She wanted a new life, he’d give her one.

     “This is so cute, In!” Y/n gasped as she walked into the cabin

     “I’m glad you like it,” Jeongin smiled as he kissed her cheek, bringing thrift suitcases inside the room as she unpacked the kitchen. Getting all their supplies into the fridge for the weekend. Humming to the last song that had played in the car as she did so.

     Jeongin had finished bringing everything in and locked the front door before joining his girlfriend in the kitchen. Wrapping his arm around her as she finished packing the fridge. “We should break the place in,” Jeongin suggested. His voice was low in her ear.

     “Mm, I like that idea.” Y/n smiled

     Jeongin kissed her neck before pulling her into the bedroom. Y/n smiled, even over a year into their relationship, he still gave her butterflies. He pushed her onto the bed, wrapping her legs around his waist as he leaned down and pushed his lips onto hers. Y/n moaned into his mouth as her lips moved in sync with his. She wrapped her arms around him, playing with the collar of his shirt. “My pretty girl,” Jeonging groaned as he rolled his hips against her. 

     “All yours,” Y/n moaned

     “Know who you belong to,” He smiled as he sat up, pulled his shirt off, and chucked it onto the ground before pushing her shirt up over her chest. 

     Y/n sat up a bit to help him before laying back down. Jeongin positioned her up on the pillows of the bed. Y/n smiled— thinking he was trying to make her comfy— and wrapped herself around him again. His lips attached to her neck, sucking and biting the skin like his life depended on it. Grinding into her as his hands wandered her body. His hands wandered down to her bottoms, pulling the fabric down her legs as quickly as he could. 

     “Did you bring condoms, In?” Y/n asked as he sucked on her skin

     “No. I’ll pull out.” He had no intention of doing so

     “M’kay,” Y/n moaned as he lightly bit the skin

     Jeongin sat up and tossed the fabric of her pants onto the ground and pulled off her undergarments, leaving her bare under him. He laid down between her legs, tongue licking up from her entrance to her clit. Y/n let out a small moan as the rough muscle slid across her clit before his lips wrapped around the small bud.

     “In,” Y/n moaned, gently lacing her fingers into his hair.

     Jeongin sucked on the bud as he pushed her legs open. Spreading her open for him to taste. His lips sucking on her clit as two fingers slipped into her. Hearing her gasp from the intrusion and tightened her grip on his hair. His fingers pumped in and out of her as his tongue and lips both took care of her clit. Her moans were music to his ears. The music he was going to hear forever.

     Y/n moaned as he inserted a third finger into her, stretching her further. His fingers reached deep inside of her, curling his fingers up into her. Sucking harder on her clit while her back slightly arched from the mattress. Looking and admiring the top of his head as he ate her out. His eyes met hers. Something different in them. 

     The tips of his fingers rubbing against her g-spot had her forgetting her current train of thought. Head tilted back into the pillow below as he tipped her over the edge. Continually stimulating her clit and her g-spot till she was coming down from her high. 

     He pulled away from her and sat up on his knees. Pulling his pants off along with his boxers. He grabbed both her hands and pinned them above her head while she was still in the post-orgasm haze. He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a pair of handcuffs. Cuffing her wrists to the metal frame of the bed and smiling. 

     Y/n looked at her boyfriend. His smile was different as he leaned down and kissed her chest. Mumbling something she couldn’t hear but her gut said something was off. 

     “In,” Y/n said, pulling at the restraints. 

     “You're safe, babe. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, would I?” He asked as he sat up on his knees. Lining his tip up at her entrance. 

     Slowly he pushed into her. Reveling in her warm walls wrapped around him. Y/n shrunk into herself as he pushed in further and Jeongin noticed. He stopped for a moment, expression dropping as he looked at her. Then quickly bottoming out inside her.

     Y/n gasped as he was fully sheathed inside her. Jeongin grabbed her jaw as he leaned down to her face 

     “You love me, right?” Jeongin asked 

     Y/n looked at him, wondering what was going on. “Right?!” He snapped 

     “Yes!” Y/n replied, tears starting to form. this wasn’t her Jeongin. 

     “Say it.”

     “I love you…” Y/n watched him sit back on his knees, letting go of her face. 

     “Again.”

     “I love you.” Y/n moaned as he pulled out and then pounded back into her 

     “Again!”

     Jeongin had her chanting the phrase as he pounded into her. A wicked smile appeared on his face. One of his hands snaked to her throat, fingers wrapping around and shutting her up. Y/n looked up at her boyfriend, tears streaming down her cheeks. Pleading with her boyfriend to let go of her neck, tell her this was a weird wet dream.

     But the tighter his hand got on her neck— the less oxygen she got— the more she realized this was real. Her friends and family were right. She tried bringing her legs together, to push him away but it only resulted in him slapping her across the face before he grabbed her face and made her look at him, stopping his thrusts, “What do you think you’re doing?”

     “‘M sorry…” Y/n cried

     “Keep your legs open or I’ll tie them up too.” 

     Y/n nodded as he let go of her face and started thrusting into her again. The hand that was on her neck had moved down to her clit. Y/n bit her bottom lip, trying to hide the moan that threatened to come out of her throat as he rubbed her clit. Watching her squirm under him.

     “Come on baby, you know I’m the only one that makes you feel good,” Jeongin teased as he leaned down and kissed her neck, “I’m the only person who gets to see you like this. Not even Seungmin.”

     The mention of her ex threw her off. Seungmin had dumped her a few months before she met Jeongin but he’d disappeared not long after they broke up. Everyone assumed he had just gone out of town. It wasn’t out of character for him to just do something without telling anyone so everyone let it go. He’d show back up eventually. But now Y/n wasn’t so sure…

     Jeongin sucked on her skin, leaving what were once pretty bruises in his wake. Pressing harder on her clit and finally getting the moans to fall out of her throat. “Only I get to feel you cum on my dick. No one else and no one else cums in this pussy.”

     “Jeong—”

     “No one.” He cut her off as he felt her clench around him.

     Y/n tried getting her words out but her orgasm was building too quickly. He knew all the right buttons to push. All her butterflies had turned into anxiety.

     One particular thrust from him to her g-spot had tipped her over the edge. She moaned and pulled on the cuffs around her wrists.

     “That’s my girl,” Jeongin smiled as he pistoned his cock into her. Working his own high while she rode out hers.

     Y/n was barely out of her high when she felt him twitch inside of her. “In, pull out,” Y/n begged

     “You don’t get to tell me what to do Y/n,” He bit back

     “Please In! Pull out,” She tried again

     “You’re the one always begging me to fill you up when I fuck you. Here’s your wish,” Jeongin groaned as he buried himself into her. Y/n cried as she could fill his warm cum flooding her insides. Sticking to her walls before he pulled out of her, staring down at her used hole, pushing his cum back into her, listening to her whine.

     Y/n sniffled as he reached up and took her cuffs off. Pulling her to sit on his lap. Y/n looked at her boyfriend like he just switched back to the Jeongin she fell in love with. She watched as he kissed her wrist and then her cheek. “I love you,” he whispered against her cheek

     Something in the back of her mind told her she should run but it wasn’t even possible. So she chose to play along, then maybe she could get out of this alive. “I love you too.”

     Their vacation was three days. For three days she was isolated alone with him. Three days— and she had told Changbin they’d be gone for three days. But as day one turned to day two, three, four, Y/n could tell it wasn’t going to be three days. 

     Jeongin did not let her leave his site. Not once. Everything she did, he watched— even when she went to the bathroom. They had no service— not that she had any chance to reach out to her friends. Hell, she could barely use her phone.

     “Innie,” Y/n asked as she was making them lunch, Jeongin sat at the bar of the kitchen

     “Yes, baby?” He asked

     “Can I ask you about something you said the other night?”

     “Of course.”

     “What did you mean when you said ‘not even Seungmin’?” She asked

     “Don’t say his name.” Y/n heard his tone change and turned to look at him. He was staring at her, face void of emotion

     “I’m sorry, it’s just no one has brought him up since he left so it just threw me off…”

     “Don’t be sad baby,” Jeongin sighed, getting up and walking over to her. Cupping her face in his hands, “You don’t need to think about him anyways. You have me, just me now.”

     Y/n nodded as he leaned in and kissed her lips. Play along, she told herself. Lips moved with him as he pinned her against the counter. Y/n moaned into his mouth, from the countertop hitting her back uncomfortably. His hands had moved from her face to her hips.

     She shouldn’t have let him back her suitcase either. All he had packed for her was lingerie. That’s all she wore since day two there. She’d practically been his little doll the last three days, dressing her up and fucking her as he pleased then returning to the sweet boyfriend she met. Everything left her so confused as to what was going on.

     Jeongin gripped the silky fabric of the flowy lingerie he had put her in, pressing her firmly against him. She could feel his hard-on against her stomach. He’d been fucking her like a dog in heat for four days now, she was sure he was trying to get her pregnant, a way to keep her tied to him. 

     Jeongin moved his hands up, pulling the fabric with him and spreading her legs open with his knee. Y/n groaned into his mouth while he moved one hand to the front of his sweatpants. Pulling his hard cock from the material and quickly pushing into her sensitive cunt. Y/n whined as she grabbed his arms, trying to ground herself a bit as he wrapped her legs around his waist and started thrusting up into her. 

     His lips detached from hers and attached to her neck. Biting and sucking on the skin as his free hand traveled to the back of her head. Holding her still. Y/n closed her eyes as a couple of tears slipped down her cheeks and bit her lip. Play along, play along, don’t make him mad, don’t make him mad.

     “Love you so much,” Jeongin moaned into her neck and pulled back on her hair

     “Love you too,” Y/n replied

     “Gonna fill up this pretty pussy again,” he groaned, starting to roll her sensitive clit with his thumb.

     “Innie,” Y/n moaned

     “That’s right baby. Only Innie gets you off like this,”  He smiled and Y/n could feel his teeth on her skin.

      By the end of day two, Y/n had started mentally checking out and faking her moans. He knew what buttons to push for her orgasms but she still tried to fake it. But Jeongin caught on way too quickly. Fucking her the rest of the night, not letting her sleep. Even if she tried it ended with a hand on her neck or him slapping her to wake her up. She wouldn’t try that again. But she could fake her moans, she knew what she sounded like so it was easy to convince him she was still his.

     His. It didn’t sound right anymore. Back when she was heartbroken over Seungmin, being called Jeongin’s was the best thing she could think of. Now, she wanted to go back in time and wished she walked away when he said hi at that club with Felix, Hyunjin, and Minho.

     Felix. Hyunjin. They were still in a coma when she left. So was Chan. She hadn’t even gone to see them in the hospital because Jeongin didn’t want her to. 

     Minho had just stopped talking to her months ago when he realized she wasn’t going to listen to him. She wished she did. 

     She wondered where Seungmin was. Was he safe? Did Jeongin have something to do with him disappearing?

     How was Jisung— whom she texted every day? Was he worried sick about her? Begging the others to go to the police? Getting on Changbin’s ass for not getting through to her

     Changbin. She wished she listened to him. Wishing he was seeing through Jeongin the way he always had and was on his way to her.

     A hard thrust threw her out of her thoughts. Her high washing over out of nowhere— she knew it was building but tried forgetting it. Jeongin wasn’t far behind her. Pushing himself deep into her as he filled her up again.

    “That’s my girl,” he moaned into her neck.

    “What happened to him?” Y/n asked, hoping to get an answer from him while he was still hazy from his orgasm

     “Don’t worry baby. He’s locked away, can’t hurt you.” He kissed her cheek and pulled out of her, “Finish lunch then you can clean up.”     Jeongin tucked himself back into his sweats. Y/n whipped the tears from her face and fixed her dress, already feeling his cum run down her legs. She finished making lunch and then went to the bathroom— the door open for him to keep an eye on her. Then sat down and ate with him.

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It's Who We Have | Part Ten

Summary: the group reconvenes six months later, setting out to remind both of them what family they have in them | Word Count: 3k~ | Warnings: mentions of PTSD, smut

General Taglist | Billy Washington Masterlist | Series Masterlist

The crisp morning air of Castleton felt chilly against their cheeks, the lush greenery of the Peak District stretching out before them. Billy adjusted his overcoat, falling into step beside her, their hands brushing as they traversed the rugged terrain. There was a sense of gentle peace in the air, a warmth that radiated despite the weather, a welcome respite from the once chaotic routine of their lives just six months before.

In the time since Cranstead Fields, winter had come and gone in a pleasant haze of dark nights and a Christmas spent at Billy's parents, with a somewhat hungover trip to Abi and Libby's with the friend group on Boxing Day. 

Navigating their way through the aftermath of the indescribable trauma was exhausting. Nightmares haunted Billy at night, but not in the sense he was sat bolt upright, sweating and scared, but in the sense that he barely slept in fear of them.

But he was slowly learning to cope, with her unwavering support.

The way she coped with PTSD was a journey of its own, one that unfolded differently from Billy's. While his nights were often plagued by restless sleep and lingering fears, hers were marked by moments of quiet introspection and occasional bouts of anxiety.

It wasn't easy, and there were still moments of struggle and doubt. But met with steadfast determination and a desire to remain committed wholeheartedly to each other.

In the end, it was she who moved in with him. Her flat had always felt empty, with no real desire to return when her Dad stood on her doorstep in that fateful July. And while Billy's flat was in no way perfect, it felt like home in a way that her own place never had. The walls may have been a bit too bare, the furniture a mishmash of hand-me-downs and charity shop finds, but it wasn't just the physical space that they shared, but also their hopes, dreams, and fears. It was theirs.

In any case, it was nice to finally get away from the hustle and bustle of London, even if they were being pelted by rain and chilled to the bone from the cold, their hands were still warm with the pleasant thrum of their hearts. 

Harry’s voice broke through it, “Is it actually the Devil's arse? Cos if it's not then what's the fucking point?”, shortly followed by a raucous laughter, an echo of Libby, Ami, Abi and Harry, who followed shortly behind. 

Ami in particular struggled with the rough terrain of the Peak District after her Year Abroad in the concrete laden Beijing. Abi didn’t waste a second making fun of her though, claiming ‘it was his job to as both her twin and older brother’.

Paddy laughed and took Harry’s face in his broad, calloused hands, “Harry I fucking love you, but you’re thick as pig shit.” His words displayed both banter and deep affection, punctuated with a big, sloppy kiss that pulled Harry off balance.

Everyone chuckled, watching Harry regain his composure and forcing the rapidly emerging colour to his cheeks, “Jesus Christ, Pad…that was fucking foul.”

“Yeah that one had a bit of flavour to it, didn’t it.”

“Did you lot see that?! Pad may as well have spat in my mouth!”

Ami, as short and harmless as she appeared, managed to once again knock him off balance as she shoved his shoulder walking past him, following behind everyone else as they trudged up the grassy hill, “Don’t pretend you didn’t like it, Hazza.”

As they continued their trek through the rugged beauty of the Peak District, the air filled with laughter and playful banter. Despite the rain pelting down on them and the chill in the air, their spirits remained high, buoyed by the warmth of their deep friendship. The green stretched far into the distance and despite the women’s hair being held in tact in high ponytails, it still whipped across their bright, flushed faces with the flashes of laughter and the wind cold on the tip of their noses. 

She, Libby and Ami led the way, their easy chatter filling the air as they reminisced about past adventures and shared inside jokes, as well as the occasional gasp as Ami relayed her experiences on her Year Abroad, and how she never once bought an alcoholic beverage for herself in all her time there. Occasionally Abi was not far behind her, as if not wanting to admit that he was happy she was back, exchanging playful jabs and teasing insults, their bond as siblings evident in their behaviour.

Meanwhile, Harry, Paddy and Billy brought up the rear, their conversation a mixture of lighthearted jokes and heartfelt confessions of slight vulnerability under their facade of boyish banter. Paddy, always the joker, regaled Billy with tales of their past escapades, while Billy, more reserved but no less engaged, listened intently, a smile playing at the corners of his lips, raising the odd eyebrow at the way the two other men seemed very close, with lingered glances. 

Billy and her being official for a good while now strangely affected the friend group very little. Despite the events at Cranstead and the trauma they had endured, their friendship group remained a source of comfort and stability. They didn't cling to each other out of fear, but rather revelled in the freedom and carefree spirit that had always defined their dynamic.

Weirdly, it was like it had always been like this. Maybe it had been.

It didn’t stop Billy from stealing glances at her though. For some reason, seeing her so happy again with everybody made his heart feel so full it almost hurt. For some time after, every time he saw her anxiety-struck face, he was bought back to glancing over at her in the passenger seat that hot July day, with moist eyes and a panicked rhythm of her breathing.

It was slowly getting hazier. Replaced with, more often than not, her expression of softened happiness at her existence in this world beside him.

Interestingly, it was Billy’s parents who were the most taken aback by their relationship turning official. They had always seen her as just another member of Billy's sprawling group of friends, almost like a daughter, someone they cared for deeply and looked after, but never envisioned her actually becoming part of their family. Their surprise, however, soon gave way to a supportive acceptance, touched by the genuine affection they witnessed.

It was Jeff who had been most surprised. And they both guessed it was because of the way he was so blasé about everything else in his life, that he had barely paid much attention in the first place.

Lana had put him in his place though, with a smack to the arm, “Wake up, Sherlock, I called it ages ago!” Her tone was teasing, a spark of banter lighting up her eyes as she chided him for his cluelessness.

During breaks in their hike, the friend group often found themselves in candid conversations, sharing their experiences and struggles in coping with the aftermath of Cranstead Fields. Billy and her were the focal points of their collective support, with their friends offering unwavering encouragement and empathy as they navigated the challenges of therapy and healing.

Even amidst the laughter and banter, there was an unspoken understanding among the friends that Billy and her were still healing, still grappling with the scars left behind by their shared trauma. But in all of it, they were always there.

As they reached a clearing, Harry and Paddy took charge of gathering wood for a makeshift fire pit, while Libby and Ami spread out blankets and cushions for everyone to sit on.

Once everything was set up, Paddy pulled out his flask of whiskey with a mischievous grin. "Anyone fancy a little something to warm the bones?" he asked, holding up the flask for all to see.

Harry eagerly reached for it, taking a swig and passing it on to Billy, who shook his head with a chuckle. "Not for me, mate. I'll stick to tea," he said, pulling out his own flask filled with hot tea, pulling her towards him with the other so the two could share both in the heat of the flames as well as the comfort of each other.

"Thanks," she said with a grateful smile, a rush of warmth gathering at her cheeks that made her feel like a teenager again, so she leaned in to press a quick kiss to his cheek, to watch the way it similarly affected him.

Libby, who had been observing the exchange with a knowing smirk, couldn't resist chiming in. "Three guesses to what you two are gonna do when you get back," she teased, nudging her playfully.

She smirked back, her cheeks flushing slightly. "I don't think you need three guesses," she replied, casting a glance at Billy. "Besides, probably holier than whatever you and Abi are gonna do."

"You're not wrong," Libby conceded with a laugh, exchanging a knowing look with her now fiance. "But we'll leave the details to your imagination."

“ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT SEX AGAIN?!”

“Harry, shut the fuck up!”

With the fire crackling merrily and the warmth of friendship enveloping them, they settled in for a cosy evening under the stars, sharing stories, laughter, and the occasional flask of tea or whiskey. Sometimes both. Her ending up perched on Billy's thigh as she nursed the small cuppa in her gloved hands. It ended late into the night, with a slightly wobbled approach back to their bed and breakfast. Billy and her saw off each of them before slipping into their own room with a pleasant rush of the central heating on their faces.

With a soft sigh, she kicked off her boots, the worn leather hitting the floor with a dull thud. Her overcoat followed suit, landing in a heap on the nearby chair as she turned to face the bed, gathering her moistened hair to tie it out of her face.

"Train's at 12 o'clock tomorrow. Shall we get up early-ish for breakfast?" she asked, the excitement evident in her voice.

Billy nodded in agreement though she couldn’t see him, his eyes twinkling with a mixture of anticipation and affection. "Sounds like a plan," he replied, moving closer to her until their bodies were just inches apart.

She sank into his touch when his long arms wrapped around her middle, his heart beating pleasantly against her back, and burying his face in her hair, rocking with her body as if to sleep. As his arms enveloped her, holding her close, she couldn't help but notice the slight stiffness in his embrace, a silent acknowledgment of the shared trauma they both carried. They had grown accustomed to navigating the world together, finding solace in each other's presence, yet the lingering fear of confined spaces, especially cars, remained a constant reminder of the horrors they had faced.

But she didn’t say anything. She simply covered his hands with hers. And often, that’s all she needed to do for his shoulders to loosen.

“You look beautiful,” he murmurs, smiling against her crown.

She chuckled softly as if not believing him, the sound like music to his ears. How could she believe him when she had been pelted by wind and rain all day. "Flattery will get you nowhere," she teased, turning in his embrace to face him, her eyes dancing with amusement.

Billy grinned, his fingers trailing lightly along her jawline. "Good thing I'm already exactly where I want to be," he quipped.

Her laughter bubbled up again, infectious and pure. "Smooth talker," she teased, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

He returned the kiss with equal tenderness, savouring the sweet moment between them. "Just stating the truth," he murmured against her lips, his breath mingling with hers.

He smelled of cigarettes, rain and the shampoo he’d used that morning. So normal and mundane, and yet it excited her nonetheless when they lay in bed together, hands clamouring for skin as if they were forbidden lovers, deprived of touch and separated by tragedy. And though there was no negativity of the kind to be found, the necessity behind the pressure of their fingers undoing each other's clothes, popping buttons, tugging at sleeves and kneading flesh, was there all the same. 

Billy's touch was subtly rough yet reassuring, his fingertips tracing patterns along her skin as if committing every curve and contour to memory. And she, in turn, responded eagerly to his touch, her body melting into his with a sense of familiarity and belonging that filled her with a profound sense of peace.

In the quiet intimacy of their embrace, they found refuge from the outside world, cocooned in the warmth of their love and the gentle rhythm of their breaths. The gentle tapping of heavier rain cast a mist against the window of the room, a waterfall endlessly making its way down like a slick of oil. It was strangely calming, with only the sound of the oncoming storm, spurred by the arrival of the evening, as the gentle background noise between laboured, passionate breaths.

Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, clinging onto him tighter with every lazy thrust into her. She looked at him with a sort of reverence, the sheets draped around his middle, and appreciated the way his stomach muscles flexed. In the months they’d been together, he’d lost a little bit of that wiry, lanky look and broadened somewhat. Not that she would dare complain.

Billy let out a stuttered moan, batting against her neck, leaning over her with chests flush and skin tacky to press open-mouthed kisses to her collarbone, his hands clamped tight around her waist. 

Since the trial, nearly all of Billy’s sex was like this. Lazy, languid and thoughtful. Sometimes, on odd occasions where he had some beer in him, he was needy and more risky, engaging in quickies stolen in dark corners, spurred on by the real threat of getting caught. Paddy had nearly rumbled them once. 

“Never want to let you go -” he breathed, ragged, “-just want you all to myself.”

Her brows drew together, breath hitching as he pressed his forehead to hers, blue eyes unyielding as his usually lingering touch drifted south to her thighs, fingers flexing as he tugged one around his hip with bruising intensity. The angle coupled with the relentless bullying of her sweet spot , had a long moan slipping between her lips. 

At first, Billy had been hesitant with their intimacy. After knowing her for so long outside the realms of romance, that was the one part where she felt the need to coax him out of his shell. She was a woman, and he a man. And while they had been friends for so long with something primal and deep simmering beneath, he was allowed to lose control with her. He was allowed to explore what a loving, sexually healthy relationship felt like. Allowed to discover what she liked, what he liked, what they both really liked, and sometimes what they didn’t like.

Once teased from his cage though, there was no way Billy was going back. But still, when his thumb lingered at her lips, blue eyes trained over her face to watch her hedonistic expression, he still blushed and felt a twinge of white hot pleasure jolt up his spine, when she took his thumb between her lips and caressed it with her tongue.

He nearly faltered. And she had to bite back a smile when she felt his hips tremble.

And yet it surprised her every time how he was able to turn the tables. For someone who some would assume was shy and unassuming, his now moist thumb glistened from her lips and dipped between her legs, where he was still pushing into her with heightening intensity, to apply gentle, but calculated pressure to her bud. Her fingernails dug into his back, lips parted with no sound, feeling as if she was being flung from some great height along with him.

“Oh, Billy-” 

Billy never lasted long after her. It was as if he was impatient to follow her in the breathless embrace of their highs. Both barely said a word. ‘I love you’s and constant praises were sometimes whispered in embarrassed laughs and tender words, but most of the time, there was little need to say anything at all.

Anything either of them said was communicated long ago. Like a tapestry of feelings and histories of them, woven forever into a story that formed each of them.

In the soft, calm afterglow of sex, Billy pulled her back to his chest, one hand idly brushing the tangles from her hair lovingly. His eyes were too watching the river made by the heavy rain, but felt no weight in his heart at the sight.

Rain always reminded him of her, of the memory of her once upon a time. Of the way she looked on that morning at Primary school. Of her wide, mischievous eyes when they’d rush home on the way from Cranstead Fields, trying to out-run the rain. Of her delicate features, flushed from chill and hair frizzy from humidity when she stood in his kitchen with parted lips. Each moment ignited something different, unique, but something that never left him, and only added to the complex emotions that stirred for her.

A smile crept to his lips at the memory of a few hours before, sitting before the fire pit and sharing a flask of tea, warming their bellies with it and thus their fingers before the flames. He thought of how the fire had burned out in a warm orange glow over their faces. And Billy closed his eyes, and allowed himself to sink into that feeling, into the memory of the love and laughter of the ones he held close to his heart.

And her, well…she saved him more than once in body and soul.

Each rescue, whether from the dark pits of his own doubts or from the brink of physical peril, had woven their lives inseparably together. She was his beacon in the storm, a lighthouse guiding him back to safety with her unwavering strength and tender care. Cradled by love and mutual devotion, Billy truly understood the essence of what they shared.

It was who they had, and in the end, that was everything.

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[matttgirlies]

Matt & Me🎀

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

a story heavily based on Priscilla Presley’s Book “Elvis & Me” based in the 1950’s - 1970’s.

fem! reader x singer! matt

disclaimer!! - in no way am i saying matt would ever support or do these kind of things, for the sake of the book certain unethical things do happen at times.

warnings - sexual refrences, drug usage

y/nn = your nickname for any confusion🩷

Chapter 9

Matt sent two first-class plane tickets. My father took a leave of absence from his duties in Germany, and we flew off to Los Angeles, where Matt was filming Fun in Acapulco.

We stayed at the Bel Air Sands Hotel, and Matt was the perfect host. He’d pick us up in either a white Rolls-Royce or his famous gold Cadillac and take us on a sightseeing tour along the ocean to Malibu or into Hollywood.

My father was impressed with Matt’s hospitality, but not enough to forget why he was there—to talk about my education and my future at Graceland. Matt didn’t want to jeopardize the deal they had already made, and every time my father brought up my schooling, Matt would find a Hollywood landmark to point out.

“And over there, Captain,” he said, changing the subject as we cruised down Hollywood Boulevard, “is Grauman’s Chinese Theater. I’m sure you’ve heard of that. If you get out here, you can see all the stars of your era, their handprints and footprints. There’s Betty Grable, you remember her, don’t you? Marilyn Monroe, Kennedy’s friend, and if you look hard enough, you might spot Trigger’s hoofprint.” As my father stepped out of the car, Matt added, “I don’t think MacArthur’s are there yet, but I’m working on it.” We all laughed at the incongruity of General MacArthur bending over the wet concrete next to Jane Russell.

After a few days, my father and I flew to Boston and he and James enrolled me in the school Matt had chosen, Immaculate Conception, an all-girls high school, while Matt himself remained in L.A. to finish the film.

Before I left, he assured me that he’d be home soon and that he’d see me in a few weeks.

Matt and I planned to live together at Graceland eventually, but we’d told my parents that I would be staying with James and Angela, so when I arrived in Boston, I moved into their home. James assured my father that I’d be in good hands and not to worry.

The concerned look on my father’s face moved me. It was such a helpless look filled with doubts and fears about whether he was making the right decision. Only time would tell. He returned to Germany and I settled into my new routine.

In the beginning James drove me to and from school, where word of my identity soon leaked out. As I walked down the hallway, heads would turn and whispers would start. Once, a note that was being passed in study hall ended up on the floor. I saw my name on it and picked it up.

“Her name’s y/n,” I read. “She’s supposed to be Matt Sturniolo’s new girlfriend. If we make friends with her, maybe she’ll introduce us to him. Oh, God, wouldn’t that be neat!”

I didn’t know who the writer was, but I couldn’t mistake the meaning. The friendly smiles concealed intentions to get to Matt through me. Consequently, I was afraid to get close to anyone at school, and began to feel lonely and unhappy.

Living with James and Angela was also difficult. I felt out of place in their home, and did not want to be an intrusion in their personal life. I began spending more time with Grandma at Graceland, often staying all night, and gradually, almost unnoticed, I began to move in my things. By the time Matt suggested that I move into Graceland, I already had.

But living on “the hill,” as we called it, was isolated. The only people there were Grandma and the maids, and during the day, the secretaries, Becky Yancy and Patsy Sturniolo. Patsy was Matt’s double first cousin (her mother was Mary Lou’s sister and her father was James’s brother) and also served as James’s confidante. We were close, and after school I would go into the office to talk with her and Becky. But James felt my visits kept the girls from working and finally he put a sign on the door specifying: no one belongs in the office unless they work there, or have an appointment. I knew that meant me too, so I curtailed my visits.

There were other restrictions. I was told that I couldn’t have girlfriends over because strangers weren’t allowed in the house. One day, I was severely criticized for sitting under the trees on the front lawn. I was playing with Honey, the poodle Matt had given me for Christmas, when a friend of Angela’s drove up and told me that I was making a public display of myself.

Even at school, I felt restricted because James was still chauffeuring me there and back. Without my own car, I couldn’t leave the school grounds to take a drive at lunch or when my classes were cut short. At last I asked James if I could use Matt’s Lincoln Mark V and reluctantly, he agreed.

That evening I went for a drive. With the radio blaring and the windows wide open I sped down Highway 51 South, enjoying my newfound independence. I pulled up in front of Patsy Sturniolo’s house and said, “Hop in. Let’s go for a drive.”

Patsy introduced me to Leonard’s Drive-In, where we would spend at least one night a week when we didn’t go bowling or to a movie. But I went out less frequently when the two hundred dollars that my father had given me rapidly began slipping through my fingers. Matt had assured my father not to worry about money, that if I needed any, his father would give it to me. So, with gas added to my expenses, I had no choice but to approach James, as Matt had instructed me.

Hesitantly I walked into his office. I was nervous about talking to James, who had a sharp tongue and said exactly what he thought. Finally I said, “Mr. Sturniolo, I was wondering if I could have some money. I’m spending a lot on gas, which doesn’t leave much for anything else.”

“How much do you think you need?” he asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“I  . . . I don’t know,” I stammered.

He thought for a moment, then said, “Okay, I’ll give you thirty-five dollars. How does that sound?”

Thirty-five dollars sounded fine at the moment, but it didn’t go very far, not with movie tickets, gas, and clothes to buy. Two weeks later I asked him for money to go out with Patsy.

“Hot damn,” he snapped. “Didn’t I just give you thirty-five dollars?”

“That was two weeks ago, Mr. Sturniolo. I can’t stretch it any further than that.”

He stared angrily at me and then his face softened.

“Well, I guess things can get pretty expensive,” he said, counting out another thirty-five dollars. “Now you and Patsy be careful driving out there. You know there’s a lot of accidents on that highway. Why don’t you call me when you get to the theater?”

At the time his caution surprised me, but remembering what Matt had said about Mary Lou, I knew that this was also typical of the rest of the Sturniolos. They always felt better if you called when you arrived at your destination and again before you left for home.

Matt phoned later that evening. In the course of the conversation he asked, “How are you doing on cash, Baby?”

“Funny you should ask that,” I said, mentioning his father’s reaction when I asked for money.

Matt started laughing. “That’s my dad. He’s always been tight. Getting money from him is worse than going to the local bank, even if you’ve got good credit. That’s why I have him taking care of my bills. Every penny’s accounted for. I wouldn’t trust anybody else. Too many thieves. Don’t worry about it. I’ll talk to him.”

I ended up laughing too. Matt’s sense of humor was contagious. He laughed about things that often wouldn’t make sense to anyone else, yet anyone around him would usually end up laughing too.

Unfortunately, Matt forgot to speak to his father. Rather than ask for handouts, I resolved to earn my own money. I began modeling part-time at a boutique near Graceland. When I told Matt about my job, he said, “You’re gonna have to give it up.”

“But I’m enjoying it,” I said.

“It’s either me or a career, Baby. Because when I call you, I need you to be there.”

I quit the modeling job the next day, which left me with very little to do. I started spending even more time in Grandma’s room. I liked being with her. She was always in her favorite chair, ready to share her loving stories about Matt.

Most of them dealt with his early years and the family’s struggle against poverty. Suffering and worry seemed to be the very fabric of Sturniolo’s lives. Any time Matt failed to call home for two days in a row, they worried that something terrible had happened to him in California. Matt’s enormous success and wealth notwithstanding, they were convinced that some misfortune was going to snatch it all away from them. Sometimes all this talk of suffering depressed me.

My only relief was Patsy Sturniolo, and I went to her every chance I got. But then Grandma complained that she was being neglected. She reminded me that Matt’s old girlfriends used to stay with her every single night he was gone. Torn, I couldn’t wait for Matt’s return.

I anxiously waited for his call. It usually came in the early evening.

“Hi, Baby. How’s my girl?” he asked, his voice bright and full of energy.

Happy to hear from him, I said, “I’m fine, Matt.” I tried to mention how lonely I was, but he cut in. “It won’t be long, Baby. Just a few more weeks, and we’ll be wrapping up.”

“I’m glad. I’ll be so happy to see you.”

“Well, then, let me hear some enthusiasm.” He began describing a silly incident that had taken place on the set that day, trying to make me laugh.

I wanted to say, “Matt, talk to me, help me get through these new experiences.” But I realized that he didn’t want to hear about my problems. He felt he had enough of his own. When he asked me how I was doing, I became very animated and said, “Just great, Matt. Everything is wonderful.”

But when we hung up, I still felt an emptiness. I began counting the days until he came home.

After several delays Matt finished Fun in Acapulco and headed back to Graceland. Still afraid of flying, he traveled with the entourage in his huge, custom-built bus, the same one we’d taken to Vegas the year before. At every stop he called Graceland with a progress report. “I’m in Flagstaff now,” he said. “Only a few more days and I’ll be home. How’s my Little Girl doing?”

With each day’s phone call I became increasingly excited. I awaited Matt’s arrival with open arms and a big smile.

Finally one evening he called and said he’d be pulling in around midnight. By ten o’clock, fans were already waiting at the gate. How they found out was a mystery. I was among a small group of his friends and relatives gathered in the living room. All of us peered impatiently out the large window facing the long circular driveway.

I had been hoping that our reunion would be intimate, romantic. But I could now see that it was not to be, and I wondered if Matt would be upset that so many people were around.

By twelve-thirty, the fans at the gate started shrieking and the powerful glaring lights of the bus swept the driveway. Matt was behind the wheel and smoothly brought the bus to a halt. He was the first one out and he came through the front door like a shot.

“Where’s my girl?” he called out, looking around for me.

“Hello,” I said. It seemed more like months than weeks since I’d last seen him.

“Hello?” he echoed in a mocking voice, coming up to me. “I’ve been gone all this time and all you can say is ‘hello’?” Then he lifted me into the air, kissing and hugging me. “God, it’s good to be home.” He looked around and saw his grandma.

“Dodger, you waited up for me too, bless your heart.” He hugged her and patted the back of her head. Then he greeted the rest of the household. Matt could be extremely affectionate, and this particular night he had hugs for everyone.

With his arrival, Graceland sprang to life. The maids started cooking, and the boys were talking, greeting their wives and girlfriends, and soon they were bringing in the luggage and unpacking it.

After being alone so long, I found this sudden intensity and energy overpowering. I stood amid the commotion, watching Matt go upstairs, as he called out to Pauline, “O Five, what’s for dinner?”

I didn’t know whether to follow him or wait. I didn’t want to appear too excited, so I stayed downstairs until I heard, “y/nn, come up here.” Then I couldn’t get up those stairs fast enough.

We had a few quiet moments together in his room. He asked how I was doing, if I liked school, and if his dad was taking care of me. I started to tell him everything I hadn’t been able to on the phone, that I had missed him, that I had been lonely, that I really wanted to find a job. Then I stopped myself. This wasn’t what Matt wanted to hear.

After a few minutes of talking about Grandma, he kissed me and said, “Well, let’s join the others and eat.”

When we got downstairs the rooms that for weeks had been so quiet were now filled with guests laughing and cracking jokes.

Graceland was—as local DJ George Klein put it—ready to rock and roll.

We had a down-home meal of pork chops, cornbread, home fries, and crowder peas. While we were sitting around the table, local friends dropped by to visit and to catch up on all the gossip about Matt’s latest movie.

“Goddamn, she was a big woman,” Matt was saying about his costar. “Body like a man—no hips, and shoulders broader than mine. I was embarrassed to take my goddamn shirt off next to her.”

“Yeah, but M,” Alan Smith kidded him, “she only had eyes for you.”

“No way, Son, not with John Derek lurking all over the place. I’d be goddamned if I’d start a conversation with her and see his possessive eyes glaring at me. You know he gave her a car, and on the steering wheel it said, ‘Baby, you’re indispensable.’ Head over heels in love with her. Never saw anything like it.”

I was surprised to hear how Matt was talking about Ursula Andress, the alluring sex goddess of Dr. No.

“Wasn’t she pretty?” I asked.

“Pretty?” he snickered. “Hell, she had a bone structure so sharp, it could cut you in half if you turned too fast.”

Everyone howled, including me. Matt’s stories went on for hours. Again I felt out of touch with the conversation and wished I had some colorful stories of my own. I kept wondering when we were going to have some time alone. My world consisted solely of him. I sat quietly, happily observing him. Whenever he winked at me or gave my hand a little squeeze, I returned the gesture, thinking, now? Does he want me to leave, so he can follow me? But then he’d lean back in his chair and begin telling another story.

It was almost dawn before he yawned and said, “Well, we better get some sleep.”

We all rose from the table. He looked over at me, smiled, and said, “Do I have to write a note for school saying you were sick today? Think they’d believe me?”

Everyone laughed—and I blushed.

He put his arm around my waist as we made our way up the staircase to his room. If I appeared cool it was because I was mindful of something he’d once told me: He detested aggressive women. In fact, I was ecstatic. I’m finally going to be alone with him, I thought. All the phone calls, the worrying, the anticipation, and the delays are now over.

I got ready for bed at least fifteen minutes before he came out of his bathroom. He counted out his usual number of sleeping pills and took them one at a time. “Why are you taking those now?” I asked. “You’ll fall asleep.” I had plans, and the last thing I wanted was for him to doze off.

“Don’t worry. It’ll take a while for them to take effect.” He handed me a pill. “Here, just take one of these and you’ll get a good night’s sleep. It’s okay since you’re not going to school this morning.” He cautioned, “I wouldn’t advise it on school nights though.”

I looked at the red monster, remembering my earlier experience with it. “It won’t knock me out for ten days, will it?” I smiled at him as I swallowed the pill. It gave me a nice feeling. My body tingled. I was light-headed but more in control this time.

Snuggled in Matt’s arms, I was happy to be near him, his warm body against mine. Because of the sleeping pill, I could feel my inhibitions dissolving.

“How’s my Little Girl been?” He was speaking very softly now. “I’ve missed her. Has she been good?”

“Yes, she’s been good,” I said. “But she’s been waiting for you. It’s been so lonely here. She couldn’t wait to be in your arms, and she’s been thinking about you so much.”

“Shhh, don’t say anything else. I know you’ve missed me. I want you to just be here with me now and don’t think about anything else. Let’s enjoy each other.”

I was aware of the distant hum of the air conditioner, the music from the radio, the soft glow of the dim lights. Gently and tenderly he began to touch me.

He was passionate and again seemed to be making up for lost time. I felt sure the night would end with Matt finally making love to me. I was drunk with ecstasy. I wanted him. I became bolder, reaching out to him, totally open and honest in my need.

Then, as before when we’d reach this point, he stopped and whispered, “Don’t get carried away, Baby. Let me decide when it should happen. It’s a very sacred thing to me. It always has been. You know that I want it to be something to look forward to. It keeps the desire there. Do you know what I mean?”

I sat up in anger. “What about Nicole?” I yelled. “You mean you didn’t make love to her the whole four years you went with her?”

“Just to a point. Then I stopped. It was difficult for her too, but that’s just how I feel.”

“That’s how you feel. What about me? How long do you think this can go on? God, Matt, that takes a lot of willpower. That’s asking a lot of another person, one who’s in love and has strong, healthy desires.”

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we can’t do other things. It’s just the actual encounter. I want to save it.”

Fearful of not pleasing him—of destroying my image as his little girl—I resigned myself to the long wait.

Instead of consummating our love in the usual way, he began teaching me other means of pleasing him. We had a strong connection,  much of it sexual. The two of us created some exciting and wild times.

Excerpt from: "Elvis and Me" by Priscilla Beaulieu Presley. Scribd.

This material may be protected by copyright.

a/n - i think im going to start doing longer chapters🎀

#matt stuniolo fanfic #matthew sturn #chris sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #Spotify

[welcometogrouchland]

Also what if I said the show taking time to show that Luz and Hunter aren't unhealthily dependent on one another post time skip the way they were in thanks to them (but still close seen in Luz's patches on her clothes or Hunter taking time off work to go to Luz's bday) actually plays in to the cycle of sibling betrayal motif w/ the Clawthornes and Wittebanes????

#ramblings of a lunatic #the owl house #toh #luz noceda #hunter toh #bc like. both of the previous generations of siblings had incredibly small/non-existant support networks outside of each other #the wittebanes were orphans and bc Caleb was philips caretaker as well as his brother #(and also just kinda. a pattern with philip) #he loves caleb on the condition that he agrees with and stays with philip. and when Caleb stops meeting these conditions love is revoked #in the form of. yknow. murder and cloning and then murdering the clones #bc again it's less about the ambiguous abandonment and more about the 'living a life i don't agree with and therefore can't be part of- #-due to my own selfishness and bigotry' thing philips got going on #a mindset that would be understandable for a powerless child but is ridiculous coming from a 400 year old god king #Lilith is ALSO in a state of preoccupation and arrested development when we meet her! #the thing that drove a wedge between the Clawthorne sisters was the fact that they were no longer each others codependent supports #Eda had Raine and is clearly closer/at least gets more undivided attention from their parents #not that eda's life is all rainbows and sunshine- she's still an outcast. but she has people other than Lilith #everything we see from the gallery nucleus art to edas old photos portrays the hagsquad as eda's friendgroup. not Lilith's #and years later in s1 even when Lilith is at the top of the boiling isles social latter she's still hung up on Eda #both bc of her guilt but bc she seemingly has no friends who are also her equals #she wants her codependent support system back no matter the damage it'll cause to Eda #bc much like philip she's sort of in a state of arrested development #it's a theme with toh antagonists #the difference being Lilith tried to grow up too fast and was never able to move beyond her teenage conceptualisation of maturity #so she's good at pretending to be mature when really she's not #all this to say that Luz and Hunter don't have this problem outside of thanks to them when they're at their self-hate peak #luz has her mom her owl fam Amity Willow Gus. Hunter now has Camila Gus and Willow and eventually Darius #they don't NEED to be the only one the other can count on and bc of that they're not gonna lose their shit when the other does something- #-they feel they can't/don't want to be a part of #anyway I'm out of tags but. this was a good move writing wise actually even if i love their dynamic. we got a whole special abt them

[vampyrluver]

I love my brothers so much i want to protect them all wasaaa

#.txt #i love my parents but i think they r harsh nd mean nd not self aware at all #my parents dont believe they were strict growing up #but my moms the same one who took my phone away for a while year bc i was depressed #my parents r the same ppl who didnt lwt me do anytbing growing up #i literally didnt ask them to do anything bc ik they wpuld say no #i was so paranoid in highschool i couldnt even enjoy my free periods without thinking id get in trouble from my dad #my parents are now being rly strict nd harsh to my youngest brother #nd im doing all i can to support him but its also hard bc the fee times i disagree w my parents they get mad #so ive leanred to keep my mouth shut nd talk to my brother privately about my support for him #u kno how messed up it is tht i cant side w my brother in front of my parents #i have a lot of trauma from my parents nd ive done A LOT to better myself so it makes me feel so bad seeing the same things happen to my bro #nd my other brother he is literally the poster child for traumatized kid nd its insane to me how my parents dont see it #he moved out the second he could nd hasnt been living back here since #my parents stress abt like oh why does he hate us blah blah blah its bc u guys r not nice 😭😭😭 #like how r u not self aware omg kids turn out a certain way bc of the ppl who raised them come onnnnnnnn

[psilactis]

as a person who grew up loving anime and seeing the relevance and importance of found family over blood family, and as a young queer adult who keeps reading about how important community is for a person whose very identity goes against the 'traditional family' it's (really) kind of disheartening to realize I'm never going to have my own found family. Especially when your blood family just... Isn't there

#Been thinking about this a lot #When I was a depressed pre teen I had accepted I was doomed to be alone #But then I found friends. Real friends #And I though. Hey. Maybe they could be my family #But as an adult going through an impossible situation with next to zero support or care I'm having to come to terms again #That I'm never really going to have that. A family. #Not unless I conform to what society expects of me and find a man to get married and have children with (I'd rather die) #It's been a rough few days while I come to terms with that #And try to come to terms AGAIN with the fact that my parents don't love or want me #I think it'd be easier if they just disowned me all together instead of making me go through this. #And it's horrible because I'm stuck in a situation I can't get out of very fast. It's a long process #Of getting a job and accumulating money so I can move out #And not getting the support from my parents but seeing my brother get it.... It drives me insane #I hate being o psych medication but I have to be or I'm going insane #I keep wanting to harm myself or kill myself and it takes everything in me to not make a harsh decision #Right now there is nothing keeping me going other than inertia of decisions I made a few months ago. #I have to keep moving because I'm terrified of what is going to happen if I stop. #Psych medication isn't helping. Therapy isn't helping. Exercising isn't helping. #I keep having dreams that I find someone who truly loves me and it's so.... Warm. Comfortable. Safe. I just want to keep asleep in them. #Forever. #It's a pain to wake up and realize I'm never having that in real life. Just a warm hug. #Yesterday I realized if I attempted suicide it would take people a few days to find out #And it's not because I don't talk to people. I do. But. It's always me starting conversations these days #If I don't say anything usually no one starts talking first #Which is fine you know? But also so lonely

[reddiamondyeet]

.

#what the fuck what the actual fuck #haven't we suffered enough. really bretney? really? #how the fuck is he going to deal with this? besides not of course. and to think his anger issues were getting better #the fact that he could have a fucking record over this bullshit she's spewing. i'm going to fucking hurt someone #fuck you bretney fuck you fuck you fuck you. i hope your pathetic boyfriend is murdered by that stupid drug dealer you live with #i'm a prison abolitionist but I make an exception for you. you had your chance. you were given mercy. were given help. you still did this #you took the support you were given and willingly threw it in the trash cause you didn't want redemption. you didn't want to get better. #you had everything you needed to be a better person and you made the same mistake you did last time. but i'm not going to chose mercy again #not this time. not after you painted me as a victim who can't defend themselves and my own fucking brother as an abuser #we'll see about me being the victim. we'll fucking see. #i've had enough of you making my mother want to die. i've had enough of seeing my father cry. i've had enough of my brother's breakdowns #i've had enough of telling my parents i'll go to puerto rico again if need be. i've had enough of you. #and i know it's not a coincidence that this happened only five days from my birthday. #i hope if we get this case dismissed that by the end of it i won't have to ever worry about you doing this again. #red rants #i should probably trigger tag this but i'm too out of it to think of what to tag it as. whatever.

[onlygodknowsimgood]

When I was young, I never really understood my parents insistence to only use olive oil imported from Palestine. It took a long time and a great distance in a process that was neither cheap nor convenient. The oil came in old beat-up containers that did not look appealing to me at all. In my head, if they wanted to support distant family back home, they could just send them money and save us and them a big hassle. We could just use the nice looking olive oil containers from the nearby store. Yet, this was never an option in our household. The only olive oil we used at home was from Palestine.

‎As I grew up and started a student part-time job, I worked with olive oil a little. I knew all about olive oil imported from Spain, Italy, and other countries. I knew which ones were better and more expensive. I also learned to tell, based on the pungent taste, which ones were extra virgin. I was tempted to use my employee discount to bring home one of the fancy bottles and use at our kitchen. I could not get myself to do it, and I did not exactly know why. I felt like it would be disrespectful to my parents even if it didn’t make sense to me. It did not feel right. It was not an option.

‎After living in Palestine for a year during the olive picking season, something changed. The olive picking season in Palestine is holy.

‎Palestinians relate to the weather based on how it would benefit or harm the olives. There is well-known unspoken rule about treating olive trees with respect. There is a day off from work just to pick olives. On public transportation, it is not unusual to hear someone on the phone telling their friend to stop by for their share of this year’s olive oil stored in what used to be a Coca-Cola or a liquor bottle. A driver will stop in the middle of the way to give his brother- in- law a jar of olives that are so close to one another that they start to crush showing their insides.

‎In Nablus, the owner of the Nabulsi soap factory takes pride in how picky he is about getting his olive oil. He insists on filling a cup to let me smell how authentic it is and smirks as he sees my diasporic facial expressions transform in appreciation of its strong smell running through all of my brain cells.

‎I started noticing how olive oil is an essential part of so many dishes. “Palestinians drink more olive oil than water” I would jokingly say and they would laugh in agreement. Olive oil is truly an everyday ritual.

‎They fantasize about its color when it’s fresh and remind me that it starts to change as it reacts with oxygen over time. They dip their bread into olive oil, just like that and without any additions, and enjoy it more than the sweetest of all foods. I can guarantee that every lunch invitation (عزومة) I received during the olive-picking season was a chance for my hosts to share their olive oil using Msakhan (a traditional Palestinian dish).

‎I now have a deeper understanding of the psychology behind the burning of olive trees by Israeli soldiers and why farmers moan at the scene as if they lost a loved one.

‎Wherever you are, if it’s accessible to you, make sure your olive oil is Palestinian. Your ancestors would want that.

- Dima Seelawi

#palestine #olive trees #olive oil #فلسطين

[bluejaybytes]

snuffles in your ask box... maggie. objects 4 and 12 food and drink 1 mind body and soul 3, 4, 11, and 14. if this is too many just do whichever ones u want

Haiiiiiiiii firstly no such thing as too many questions #questionsweep i will always answer questions

4. Is there an item your character liked that they can’t get back?

Her laptop </3 She loves that thing to bits but it's completely destroyed when she uses it as a blunt force weapon. TECHNICALLY she could just get herself a new laptop, but not only do they not make laptops in that model anymore (It's old as helllllll), but she's also got the "sentimental about every object ever" autism and misses HER laptop specifically </3

12. Does your character personify objects?

Not super. A little bit, she'll use he/she pronouns for objects you wouldn't traditionally, but she doesn't really personify them much, though as mentioned in the last answer, she gets reeeeeeal attached to them anyways and feels MISERABLEEE when her stuff breaks </3

What flavor would your character say their personality is?

Hmm... she'd probably answer with "sour" but not in the way of like, the actual act of Someone Being Sour, she just likes sour food. I feel like if you wanted to get complex with it she'd say like. a salad dressing of some kind. This makes sense to me I PROMISE

3. Is your character more prone to fight or flight?

FLIGHTTTTTTTTT GIRL STOP RUNNING!!!!!!! Though she's seen her way through the whooole spectrum, her original death has her response as freeze, and when she thinks there's a second break-in down the line, her response is fight (That's where her laptop gets broken </3 RIP Maggie's laptop). Overall though her panic response tends to be "get me the fuck out of here" and her kind of extended breakdown she has at the end has her literally just running away repeatedly

4. Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?

YESSSS very much so. Given that she's spent her entire life being told ghosts aren't real when They Very Much Are and she KNOWS they are, basically every other myth or fairy tale or anything she's told isn't true she's a LOT more skeptical on the person telling her its not true. Generally she doesn't fully believe in like, magic creatures or anything, but like... she definitely believes in bigfoot. She's probably one conversation away from believing in mothman. And even with "doesn't believe in magic creatures" she'd lean more in the way of "there's some supernatural element at play, but not outright magic". The only thing she definitively does NOT believe in is alien encounters, since she CONSTANTLYYY gets ghosts telling her they'll tell her where aliens are kept in exchange for favors, and they're NEVER telling the truth

11. Does your character have strong willpower?

Hmm... probably not. But that's kind of the point. She's very much grown up being told she's wrong about how the world works despite knowing clear as day everyone else is wrong, but she's also very nonconfrontational, so while she's not giving up on her beliefs easily, she's very quick to just shut down and let people do whatever they want and she'll just let them run their course without correcting them. She also has like... zero willpower in trying to make herself do anything </3 Executive dysfunction SWEEP

14. Is there a secret thing your character longs to hear?

She wants literally anyone to tell her she's not crazy. She wants apologies from her parents and her brother for never believing her. The only people who support her status as a medium are people who clearly don't know what they're talking about, or people who are just saying she's not to try and reason with her rather than actually believe her because they know she's right. At this point she doesn't tell anyone about her seeing ghosts, because it's easier than having to deal with people who don't believe her, or people who want her to perform stupid party tricks with her ability, but she so desperately wants someone who actually resonates with her and understands even a modicum of what she's experienced. She does Not vocalize this however because it just gets met with MORE pitying and in general just not the responses she wants, plus she's intensely nonconfrontational and Voicing Her Opinions is part of that

#thank youuuuu <3 #my OCs #maggie #my favorite sadgirl... i promise shes not completely pathetic 24/7 she's just got So Much Going On #+ for the last one she DOES actually get an apology from her brother and parents #her brother was always the better out of the three of them when it came to believing her but even he was always pretty clearly nnnot- #-being honest when he said he believed her and was just saying that to support her #she also SOMEWHAT gets the other part with how Jenna basically instantly goes along w her when she tells her she can see ghosts #but unfortunately while theyll be Girl Best Friends in due time it still is very much a situation where Maggie kinda knows shes either #1. not telling the truth and just trying to tell her what she wants to her or 2. doesnt know what shes talking abt #luckily that doesnt last too long as Jenna is shown pretty definitive proof that everything is real and Maggie's seen her be pretty normal- #-abt everything. plus she has no other options so jot that down- #See Maggie's suffering from this fatal disease called 'Being 17 Disease' where shes 17

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Y'know, there's this gripe I've had for years that really frustrates me, and it has to do with Love, Simon and people joking about it and calling it too-pg and designed-for-straight-people and all the like. (A similar thing has happened to Heartstopper, but that's another conversation.)

I saw Love, Simon in theaters when it came out my senior year in high school. I saw it three times, once with my friends/parents on opening night, once with my brother over spring break, and once with my grandparents.

On opening night, the air in the room was electric. It was palpable. Half the heads in there were dyed various colors. Queer kids were holding hands. We were all crying and laughing and cheering as a group. My friends grabbed my hands at the part where Simon was outed and didn't let go until his parents were saying that they accepted him. My friend came out to me as non-binary. Another person in our group admitted that she had feelings for girls. It was incredible. I left shaking. This was the first mainstream queer romance movie that had ever been produced by one of the main five studios, and I know that sounds like another "first queer character from Disney" bit but you have to understand that even in 2018 this was groundbreaking. Getting to have a sweet queer rom-com where the main character was told that he got "to breathe now" after coming out meant so much to me and my friends.

But also, from a designed-for-straight-people POV (which, to be frank, it was written by a bisexual author and directed by a gay man, this was not designed for straight audiences), why is it a bad thing that it appealed to the widest possible audience? That it could make my parents and grandparents see things in a new light? My stepdad wasn't at all interested in rom-coms but he saw it with me because it was something I cared about and he hugged me when we came out of the theater. My very Catholic grandparents watched it with me and though my grandpa said he still didn't quite understand the whole 'gay thing,' all he wanted was for me to be happy and to have a happy ending like Simon did. My Nana actually cried when Simon came out and squeeze my hand when his mother told him he could breathe.

And when Martin blackmailed Simon, my mom, badass ally that she is, literally hissed "Dropkick him. Dropkick him in the balls" leading to multiple queer kids in the audience to laugh or smile. Having my parents there- the only parents, by the way, out of my group of queer and questioning friends- made multiple people realize that supportive adults were out there. That parents like those in Love, Simon do exist in real life.

When people complain about Heartstopper not being realistic or Love, Simon being too cutesy, I remember seeing Love, Simon on opening night. I remember my friend coming out and my stepdad hugging me and my mom defending us through this character. I remember the cheers that went through the audience when Bram and Simon kissed and the chatter in the foyer after the movie was over and the way that this movie made me understand that happy endings do exist.

Queer kids need happy endings. Straight people need entry points to becoming allies. Both of these things can come together in beautiful ways. They can find out about more queer culture later, but for now, let them have this. Let them all have a glimpse at a better, happier world. Let them have queer joy.

#love simon #simon vs thsa #simon spier #spierfeld #bram greenfeld #my experiences #meta #the importance of queer joy #heartstopper #becky albertalli #my mom also watched rwrb with me last year when it premiered #and let me tell you that was interesting sitting in the room with her for an r-rated romance movie like that

[risestarkiss]

Orange, Baby!

Rise Ramblings #316

When I think about Mikey, this scene always comes to mind.

As soon as they step foot in the library to save Mayhem, Angelo instantly disqualifies himself…hilariously.

On first watch, I found it interesting that he made this decision with no hesitation, especially given the stakes.

At the time I just resigned to him being a silly silly boy, but now I know better.

Yet, before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s explore who Mikey is.

Michelangelo Hamato is the youngest turtle in the family, and it shows.

Consequently, he seems to possess a certain “youngest brother privilege" that his other brothers just can’t help but reinforce. This is the role that Mikey was born into. Therefore, he doesn’t have to push himself to be the smartest, or cleverest, or strongest turtle.

Instead, he decides to be the artist of the family. He’s a creative! He expresses himself everywhere, from stickers on his own shell, to tagging the lair, as well as on paper. The world is his canvas!

Michelangelo also expresses himself in virtually everything he does, so it’s easy to understand why he’s the most open, honest, caring, and emotionally expressive turtle of the bunch. To some it could be seen as a weakness, yet Mikey uses his emotional intelligence as a pillar of strength, of which he utilizes to uphold his brothers when they need support the most.

In the show, Michelangelo often takes on certain personas; Doctor Feelings and Doctor Delicate Touch. (For some reason, they are all doctors, but that’s beside the point.)

At first glance, the personas could be seen as silly bouts of make-believe. But I think that placing these roles upon himself for his brothers' sake is Michelangelo’s way of helping them cope with the world by offering them what they each individually lack.

For instance, Raph, Leo, and Donnie have trouble voicing their discomforts when someone does something they don’t like.

In other words, they have trouble putting their foot down.

But here is Mikey to the rescue!

Dr. Delicate Touch has no such hang-ups.

Similarly, when Donatello runs into trouble, as he is unable to recognize his own emotions, it’s up to Doctor Feelings to help his desperate client in need.

Through taking on these roles, Mikey is able to support his brothers and fill the emotional gaps in his teammates, which, inevitably makes them all stronger.

How is Mikey able to do this and how does he have the strength to take on these roles?

You could think that it’s just in his character, meaning, it’s just how he is. I don’t think so, though. He’s a free thinker, and a creative, but there’s something about these roles that is specifically catered to the needs of his family.

Then I realized, the only reason that Mikey is able to help his brothers in this way is because they first helped him.

Let me explain.

All four of the boys grew up in the same household. Although Splinter tried his very best (there is no Splinter hate here), a single depressed parent doth not a stable child make. Raphael struggled with the burden of his responsibilities as an ad hoc leader (see Being Big Red), Leo struggled with expressing his natural talents as a middle child (see Being Baby Blue), all while Donnie struggled with carving out his place on the team and his feelings of uselessness (see Being Purple Part One and Part Two).

Well, what does Mikey struggle with?

In my humble opinion, nothing.

The struggles of his brothers all related to each turtle coming to terms with themselves and coming to terms with their place on the team.

Yet, due to the love and support of his brothers and father, Michelangelo never had to ask himself if he belonged, struggle with his role on the team, or make huge life-changing decisions that could affect everyone.

Michelangelo is free to just be Michelangelo.

And as a free spirit who is completely in tune with his own emotions, he is able to do things like this:

and this,

and this.

Let’s get back to the scene in the library.

Angelo sees the high stakes of his friend’s pet disappearing forever if they fail but makes the decision to disqualify himself anyway. Why? Because he knows that no matter what he does, it will all be ok.

He has complete faith in his brothers and their ability to solve the problem at hand, so he might as well have some fun.

This not the first time he’s come to this conclusion.

Through out this entire scene, Michelangelo plays in the background.

It’s scenes like this that makes me believe that Mikey’s faith in his family knows no bounds.

Altogether, his brothers and his father were everything he needed to become who he is. Reciprocally, he is free to be everything that they need him to be and more. Over…

and over,

and over again

he trusts them completely.

And through this unwavering trust in his family, he is able to trust himself and his instincts. He knows that with everything they’ve poured into him, he can save them from, well, everything. Over…

and over…

and over again.

Hence, due to all of this evidence, I believe that through the collective love of his family, Michelangelo became the best version of the Hamato spirit, and thus, the best Mystic Warrior of all time.

All because, he’s Orange, baby!

○○○○

Previous | Being Big Red • Being Baby Blue • Being Purple ○ Part One • Being Purple ○ Part Two

Finale | Being Hamato Yoshi

#phew! #this post has been a long time coming #thanks for sticking around! #🧡🧡🧡 #starkiss ramblings #rise analysis #rottmnt analysis #character analysis #Michelangelo Ramblings #rise mikey #rise michelangelo #mikey #michelangelo #rottmnt michelangelo #michelangelo hamato #rottmnt #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt2018 #tmnt 2k18 #tmnt 2018 #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #unpause rise of the tmnt #save rise of the tmnt #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles

[javiscigarette]

Silent Night

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You’re home for the holidays and Joel isn't gonna let a drinking contest or a house full of people stop him.

Warnings: PWP ofc, established relationship, mentions of drinking/alcohol, having to keep quiet?, oral (f&m receiving), thigh grinding, creampie, breeding kink, come play, getting caught, I think that's all lmk if I missed anything

w/c: 6.6k

a/n: hiii everyone! I am in fact alive! I'm finally on break from school and this is just a lil something I wrote real quick bc I've been in the holiday spirit since before October even ended hehehe :) Anyway, thank u to the actual loml @undrthelights for beta reading and finding the perfect pics!! It's nice to be back! Please leave a comment letting me know if you liked it, support is what keeps writers going!! Love u all!!

my masterlist

Your hips grind a little harder against his thigh, a soft sight falling from your lips as he licks and sucks at the spot under your ear that drives you absolutely wild. “I don't think I can be quiet” you whisper, gasping softly when his tongue swipes over your pulse.  "You can" he mumbles against the side of your neck, the vibrations of his voice and his warm breath against your skin sending burning hot sparks down your spine. “You can do whatever I ask, can’t you baby?”

You can hear them downstairs, muffled sounds of Joel and several other of your family members talking and laughing while they sip on the fancy whiskey that your dad was saving for the occasion. You opted out of it, quickly taking up the offer of the first hour or two of alone time you’ve had since you arrived at your parents house two days ago instead. You figured Joel could use the time too, talking with your dad and uncles and cousins about whatever men talk about when they’re doing whiskey tasting in the mancave of a basement. 

You managed to avoid getting roped into watching a shitty Hallmark Christmas movie with the rest of your family or helping them prep for the big dinner tomorrow. After successfully sneaking away to your old childhood bedroom that’s now redecorated as a simple guest room, you're left with nothing to do besides relax. First up was a long shower with the water so hot you nearly scalded your skin, and now you’re cozied up in bed, nose buried deep in the middle of your book while the rest of the house buzzed with muted background noise. 

Time passes without you noticing, too engrossed in your book to keep track, but eventually the bedroom door creaks open, pulling you back to reality. You’re about to tell off whoever is at the door for interrupting you, but you immediately soften when Joel slips inside, quietly closing the door behind him. 

He looks so sweet, wrapped up in a thick dark brown sweater, his curls flopping over his forehead, a light dusting of pink on his cheeks and the bridge of his nose with a lopsided smile. His eyes are soft, warm, and a bit glassy as he looks at you like you’re the best thing he ever did see.

"Think your dad is trying to kill me" he says, his words slurring just a bit as he crosses the room over to the bed.

You giggle, watching him plop down on the bed on his back, his head rolling over to look at you, "Are you surprised? He does this to you every year."

It's true, every holiday at your parents house, your dad insists on the whiskey "tasting", which is really just him pouring heavy handed shots and glasses and seeing who's going to be the last one to tap out. Usually it's just him and his brothers in the end, hashing out some decades old sibling rivalry in the form of a drinking contest. And ever since the first time you brought Joel home for the holiday five years ago, your father has insisted on dragging him down there and challenging him too.

The first year was the worst with Joel not heeding any of your warnings about how much liquor your dad would actually push on him. Joel was so sick by the end of the night that he made best friends with the toilet and passed out on the couch, then spent most of the next morning with a massive hangover, apologizing profusely to your dad about it who just laughed and said that he can try again next year.

Thankfully, Joel knows his limits now and has made peace with the fact that he'll never beat your dad at his own game. It doesn't mean that the challenge doesn't still stand.

"No" he mumbles, a dopey smile spreading across his face, "Guess I jus' never expect him to pour shots big enough to knock out a horse"

"How many did you have this time?" You ask, bookmarking your place in the book before setting it aside, sitting up a little straighter and adjusting the pillows behind your back.

"Jus' three."

"Oh, so you are  just a lightweight then?"

"I'm not a fuckin' lightweight" he grumbles with a dramatic pout. 

You laugh as you turn to lay on your side, propping yourself up on your elbow. Your hand instinctively falls to his hair, a small content sigh falling from his lips as your fingertips skate across his hairline and glide through his soft curls.  scooting closer to him and reaching down to run your fingers through his hair, "Okay, baby" you hum, smiling when his eyes fall shut as your nails gently scratch his scalp, "If you say so."

Joel melts under your touch, like a cat basking in the sun, a lazy little grin on his face and a dreamy, far off look in his eyes. His face is still flushed, the tips of his ears and the tops of his cheeks a rosy shade of pink, his lips slightly parted, a few more stray curls falling across his forehead. He looks absolutely gorgeous, and the soft, tender look in his eyes when he finally looks back up at you melts you from the inside out.

You cup the side of his face in your hand and ;ean in to press a lingering kiss to his forehead. "You're so cute when you're drunk" you murmur, moving kissing his cheek.

"M'not drunk"

You pull back to look him in the eye, smiling, "Sure you're not"

"I'm not" he whines, "M'just a lil' tipsy."

"Alright" you hum, pressing a quick kiss to his pouty lips.

Joel follows your mouth with the softest whine when you start to pull back, his large hand cupping the back of your head, holding you still while he kisses you, needy, but still so sweet. The taste of whiskey is heavy on his tongue as it slides against yours, a soft, satisfied noise rumbling in his chest when you part your lips further, kissing him deeper. 

When he finally lets you break the kiss, you're left just a little breathless and dazed, a giddy feeling swirling low in your belly. His pupils are blown when he looks up at you, his lips spit slick and plump, a lopsided smile on his face. He turns a little more on his side facing you, his fingers fiddling with the hem of your t-shirt until his hand slips easily underneath like it was meant to be there. The warmth of his palm smoothing up and down the curve of your spine is soothing, his fingers gently tracing over your ribs and the dip of your waist, the slight scratch of his calluses over your skin sending a shiver down your spine.

His eyes are half-lidded as he stares at your lips, licking his own. Realistically, you knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as he entered the bedroom. You know how he gets when he's like this, soft, sweet, and incredibly needy. With all the amount of times he tugged you into a bar bathroom after he's had a few, or when Tommy drops him off after a night out and he's already halfway to undressing you before the front door even shuts. You know he's trouble like this, but you can never deny him when he's looking at you like that, like you're the only thing he needs, the only thing he's ever needed.

He leans in to kiss you again, slow and sweet, his fingers splaying on your lower back and keeping you close. His mouth moves languidly against yours, the tip of his tongue tracing your bottle lip and his teeth sinking in the slightest bit to nip and tug, pulling a desperate little sound out from the back of your throat. 

He sighs at the small sound and starts to lean into you more, using his weight to roll you over until you're flat on your back with him hovering above you, his forearms on either side of your head with his knees bracketing your hips. The kisses grow hungrier, wetter, more insistent, his mouth moving against yours like he's trying to breathe the very air from your lungs. 

He shifts a bit and you moan softly into his mouth when his thigh slots between yours, the firm muscle of his thigh pushing right up against the apex of your thighs, the perfect amount of pressure to make heat spark and smolder in your belly. He does it again, rocking his thigh up against you just a little harder, swallowing the needy whimper that you let out, the heat and friction making you ache. 

You can’t help but grind against his thigh, the seam of your sweatpants pressing against the damp spot that’s already forming on your panties and digging into your clit just right. You’re chasing the growing pleasure, the firmness of his thigh and the intoxicating taste of whiskey on his soft lips mixed with the faint trace of his peppermint toothpaste. You’d give anything to have him, for him to take you, but the sounds of laughter and chatter coming from downstairs is a rude reminder of reality. 

"Joel" you warn with absolutely no heat in your voice, his lips grazing the sensitive spot under your ear, "We can't.”

He ignores you for a beat, crashing his lips back on yours and kissing you until he needs to come up for air. 

"We can" he says, his voice gravelly and thick with want, the deep rumble vibrating in his chest. "We're bein' real quiet"

His lips trail across the line of your jaw and up your cheek before landing on your mouth again. The slow, lazy drag of his tongue against yours makes you throb, another soft when escaping you and the muscles in your legs and stomach tightening as you make no effort to stop moving against his thigh. 

“Everyone will hear us” you try feebly, knowing it’s futile. 

Joel smirks against your lips, the bastard. “Nah. I’ll be quiet.” 

You know he's a damn liar and a bad one at that. In what world could you be quiet with his hands and mouth on you, with his thick cock buried deep inside you, stretching you out and filling you up so good that your toes curl? And in what world could he be quiet, not running his mouth about how good you feel, how pretty you look stuffed full of him, how well you take him. You know exactly how it'll go, if the numerous failed previous attempts are anything to go by.

But then his lips are on the side of your neck, and you're forgetting why it matters. You let your eyes fall shut as his lips press gentle, wet kisses up and down the column of your throat, the stubble on his cheeks and chin scratching and tickling in the best way. You're quickly forgetting why this was a bad idea to begin with.

Your hips grind a little harder against his thigh, a soft sight falling from your lips as he licks and sucks at the spot under your ear that drives you absolutely wild. “I don't think I can,” you whisper, gasping softly when his tongue swipes over your pulse point. 

"You can" he mumbles against the side of your neck, the vibrations of his voice and his warm breath against your skin sending burning hot sparks down your spine. “You can do whatever I ask, can’t you baby?” 

“I don’t- oh…” 

The rest of your sentence dies on the tip of your tongue as he pushes his thigh against you, grinding it up against your core in a way that has your head spinning and toes curling, the pleasure sharp and delicious as it melts into your veins. 

“That’s right” he murmurs, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth. “You’ll do whatever I say, huh?” 

There’s a pause and when you open your eyes, his are dark, his pupils blown wide, the deep brown nearly swallowed whole. His hair is tousled and curlier than ever, a few loose strands hanging in his face. His lips are slightly parted, swollen, red, and sick and shiny from your kisses. He’s an absolute sight and you can’t help but nod, eager to do whatever he wants, whatever he asks, because god it’s always worth it. 

His eyes crinkle a bit at the corners and the lopsided smirk on his face widens. He’s the fucking devil. 

Just the thought of him taking you with the rest of the house full of your extended family is making your veins buzz, excitement bubbling low in your belly. But you're well aware of just how thin the walls are and how nosy some members of your family are and you can't fathom how awkward it would be to come down for breakfast the next morning after the whole house heard you getting absolutely railed.

"It’ll be okay" he assures, reading your thoughts, his hands slipping under your shirt again. The fabric bunches up over his wrists as he slides his palms up your torso to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing over your nipples. "M’not gonna let anyone else hear you. Just me."

Fuck.

His simple words are enough to convince you, not that you needed much convincing in the first place. He had you wrapped around his finger and him around yours, and there was no way you were going to say no to what you know will come next. A jolt of electricity shoots down your spine and settles hot and heavy in the pit of your stomach. Your resolve breaks, your legs falling open further, letting him get even closer, and Joel lets out a soft, happy noise against your mouth.

"Atta girl" he hums, his voice rough and deep, "So good for me, aren't ya baby?"

"Always" you manage to reply, the word more of a sigh as you arch your back, his thumb teasing your nipple until it's pebbled and hard.

He gives into you easily, tugging your shirt up and over your head. His mouth lands on your chest as soon as it’s exposed, immediately licking and kissing across your collarbones and the swell of your breast. He noses along the valley between them, the coarse hair of his beard tickling your skin and making you giggle. You can feel him grinning against your skin before he nips and sucks at the supple flesh until a red mark rises to the surface. 

You squirm beneath him, his leg still nestled perfectly between yours and pressing against you every time he shifts. The pressure is building in your gut, your clit aching and throbbing. The feeling is almost too much with his hot wet mouth now wrapped around your nipple, his tongue swirling around the stiff peak making it harder and harder for you to keep quiet. 

“Joel,” you hiss, the word half warning and half plea. 

“Hush, baby” he mumbles against your skin. His fingers replace his mouth, pinching and teasing your swollen, spit-slick nipple as he kisses across your chest to lavish your other nipple with the same attention. 

“Gotta be quiet, remember?” he says when he pulls back, releasing your nipple with a wet pop. “Unless you want everyone hearin’ ya” 

You open your mouth to say something in protest, to tell him that he’s making things a lot harder right now, but then he starts moving, sliding down the bed and the words die in your throat. The look he gives you as he settles on his stomach between your thighs is sinful, his eyes dark and mischievous, his lips pulled up into a smirk. 

He hooks his fingers in the waistband of your sweats, slowly pulling them along with your panties down your legs, leaving you completely bare. Your stomach swoops at the sight of his eyes trained to your center and your thighs twitch, wanting to snap shut and hide. But his hands on both of your thighs keep you spread open for him. You swallow thickly, your breath catching in your throat, the anticipation building in the pit of your belly as your slick starts to drip down the cleft of your ass. 

Joel’s mouth falls open slightly, a shaky breath escaping him. “Fuck, baby” he sighs, tongue darting out to lick his cherry red lips, his eyes glazing over. A small, content smile tugs at the corners of your mouth, a swell of pride blossoming in your chest. He looks wrecked, like a starving man eyeing his first meal, and the way he's looking at you so intently, like you're the best thing he's ever seen, the thing that's kept him alive all these years, is making your heart pound almost painfully in your chest. 

“Fucking gorgeous,” he praises, his hand running along the inside of your thigh. “And all mine.” 

Like he can’t wait another second, he’s leaning in and licking a long, wet stripe up your center, dragging his tongue through your folds from your leaking hole to your swollen, needy clit. The feeling of his tongue on you pulls a soft, broken sound from you. You clap your hand over your mouth as your head spins, a rush of pleasure washing over you making the muscles in your thighs and stomach twitch and flex. 

He does it again and again, and every time his tongue flicks over the swollen bud, you let out a soft whine that sounds far too loud in the otherwise quiet room.

He groans against you, his mouth already wet and messy as he laps at your pussy like he's starving for it, like he would die without tasting you. His eyes are locked on yours, the look in them so dark and primal that it makes your walls clench, more slick freely leaking out of you and onto his tongue. He laps it up happily, his fingers digging into your hips, holding you steady as his mouth works your clit.

He lets out a quiet, breathy moan when you slide your hand through his hair once again, your fingers tangling in and pulling on the soft brown strands. His eyes flutter shut, a shuddery exhale falling from his parted lips, and the feeling of his warm breath fanning over your wet, sensitive center has you stifling another high pitched whimper.

You roll your hips up against his face, desperate for more, and he gets the hint, the flat of his tongue swiping up through your folds a few more times before he dips it into your entrance, pushing in and out while his nose nudges at your clit. You're writhing beneath him, tugging at his hair, trying so hard to be quiet but failing miserably, soft, desperate little noises pouring out of your mouth. You know he's loving it too, making no effort to keep your noises at bay, not giving a single fuck about who might hear.

He moans against your cunt, the vibrations making you jolt, your hips rolling up to meet him. You're panting, the hand that isn't buried in his hair gripping the sheets tight enough that your knuckles turn white, and your back arches when his tongue fucks in and out of you faster, rougher.

"Joel, fuck" you gasp, "I- I'm-

He growls, the sound muffled by your pussy, the vibrations and the feeling of his stubble dragging along your inner thighs making your toes curl, the familiar coil in your belly tightening, your thighs trembling.

He doubles down, bringing a hand between your legs to replace his tongue with two thick fingers sinking into you and curling up against that spot inside you that has you seeing stars, his tongue circling your clit while his fingers pump in and out of you, his mouth and hand working in tandem to pull you apart.

"Fuck, I'm close" you whimper, his fingers crooking against that spot inside of you, sending white hot fire coursing through your veins as your slick leaks down his fingers and into his palm like hot honey. 

He hums, sucking your clit between his lips, and your legs clamp around his head, your hand tightening in his hair as your orgasm crashes over you, your back arching off the mattress, a muffled, broken moan spilling out from behind your hand. He fucks you through it, his tongue flattening out against your clit while the tips of his fingers rub against that sweet spot inside of you, sending more sparks of pleasure tingling up and down your spine.

When it's too much, when the sensitivity makes tears prick in the corners of your eyes, you make a feeble attempt to push him away. He pulls back, sitting up on his knees, his chin and cheeks wet with your slick, his pupils blown so wide that the brown is almost completely swallowed up by black. He stares at you, his gaze so heavy and intense that it makes another shiver run down your spine.

"You're not being very quiet" he smirks as he moves off the bed to stand up.

You roll your eyes, still coming down from the aftershocks, your thighs quivering, "Yeah, no shit" you mutter, propping yourself up on your elbows.

He chuckles as he pulls off his sweater and the t-shirt underneath it before he starts unbuckling his belt and working on his jeans. You sit up, shuffling closer to the edge of the bed, reaching out and batting his hands away, taking over and quickly unfastening the button and pulling the zipper down.

He doesn't protest, letting you push his jeans and boxers down his legs until he kicks them all the way off. Your mouth waters at the sight of his thick, hard cock hanging heavy between his legs, flushed a deep red with slippery precum beading at the tip. You reach out, wrapping your hand around the base and taking a moment or two to revel in the familiar weight and warmth of him in your hand.

He shudders, a low moan rumbling in his chest, his eyes slipping shut as his hand moves to cup the back of your head. He watches you intently as you take your time, lazily stroking him, rubbing the pad of your thumb over the leaking tip and tracing the throbbing veins that run along the sides. His breathing grows heavy, his jaw clenching and his stomach muscles twitching as he tries so hard not to buck his hips up into the loose circle of your fist.

"C'mon, sweetheart" he pleads, the words leaving his mouth as a low, breathless groan, "Get me all nice and wet for you."

He doesn't have to ask twice. You lean forward and you dart your tongue out to lap up the bead of precum, humming at the salty, bitter taste of it, swirling the flat of your tongue over the head of his cock, your hand pumping the rest of his shaft. His breath catches in his throat, a stuttered curse falling from his lips when you dip your tongue into the slit, teasing more precum out.

He groans, his grip on the back of your head tightening, urging you to take him into the warm, wet heat of your mouth. You sink down, flattening your tongue and taking him all the way until he hits the back of your throat, the tip of his cock brushing against the roof of your mouth. You breathe through your nose, hollowing your cheeks, swallowing around him, and the deep, guttural groan that he lets out has you squirming, slick leaking out of your cunt and onto the sheets below.

"There ya go" he pants, his head lolling back, "Oh, baby, that's it. S'fuckin' perfect."

You pull off, a string of spit and precum connecting his cock to your bottom lip, and you look up at him through your lashes.

"Need to be quiet" you remind him, "Or else I'll stop"

He lets out a shaky breath and nods, swallowing hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. He's not used to keeping quiet, not used to not telling you how good you feel, not used to not begging you to let him cum in that low, raspy tone that never fails to make you weak.

"I'll be good," he whispers, breathless and needy. "Promise."

Your stomach swoops at his words, arousal burning bright in your belly. Unable to stay away for much longer, you lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to the head of his cock. His hips jerk, another drop of precum leaking out. You lick it up, swirling your tongue around the sensitive, swollen tip before sinking down again. You take him into the wet heat of your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and swallowing around him, bobbing your head slowly and steadily.

He bites his lip hard enough to draw blood trying with all his might to keep his noises in as you drool all over his cock. He can't take his eyes off you, watching the way he disappears into the slick heat of your mouth. You look so pretty with your lips wrapped around him, spit dripping down his cock and leaking out the corners of your mouth while your eyes water as you take him as far as you can.

You take him deeper, and you swallow, your throat convulsing around him, and the way his whole body shudders makes you smile, proud of the effect you have on him. He's so big and thick, and you both know you can't fit him all the way down your throat, but seeing you try your best is enough to make his thighs start to shake. 

His cock hits the back of your throat again and again, the tip dipping into the soft, warm, tight space, and Joel's breathing is getting heavier and faster, his jaw clenched and his eyebrows knitted together.

"Shit" he grits out under his breath, "That's it, sweetheart. That's fuckin' it."

The praise goes straight between your legs, a fresh wave of slick leaking out of you and it's too tempting to resist, so you slip your hand between your thighs and rub circles around your clit, moaning softly around his cock.

He hisses, his eyes snapping down, watching your hand disappear between your legs.

"Are you touchin' yourself?" he asks, the words coming out rough and choked, his eyebrows raised.

You nod, sliding a finger into yourself, and you pull off his cock, panting, a thin strand of spit connecting the head to your bottom lip.

"Can't help it" you whine pathetically, your voice already raspy from how far his cock had been down your throat.

Joel groans, his dick twitching, and he's had enough. He takes a step back, and you let go, a little confused and worried that you've done something wrong. But he just takes hold of your arms and yanks you off the bed, his strong hands easily manhandling you, and then he's pushing you, turning you around and bending you over the side of the mattress.

"Oh" you breathe out, bracing yourself on your forearms, arching your back, sticking your ass up in the air.

You don't have to wait long for him to move. His hand is smoothing over your ass, the other one guiding his cock towards your sopping cunt. He teases the tip between your folds, spreading your slick and dragging his head over your swollen clit a few times before lining himself up and sinking in.

You bite down on the inside of your cheek to keep quiet, letting out a stuttering breath, the familiar, delicious burn of his thick cock stretching you out making your eyes roll back into your head. You've made peace with the face that you'll never be used to his size. It'll always be too much, the feeling of him pushing into, forcing your walls to make room for him will always make you clench and shiver.

He's got his hands on your hips, holding you steady as he bottoms out, his hips flush with the curve of your ass with the tip of his cock pressed against your cervix. He holds himself there for a moment, both of you adjusting to the feeling, and you're trying so hard not to moan, to keep your noises muffled by the mattress, and you know Joel's struggling too, his jaw clenched tight and his brow furrowed.

"Good girl" he whispers, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your hips, "Taking my cock so well, aren't ya?"

You nod, whimpering, your fingers twisting in the sheets.

He pulls back and thrusts back in, setting a steady, slow rhythm, the wet slide of his cock making the most obscene sounds. And it's driving you crazy, the need to let out loud, your chest burning with the effort of keeping your noises in. He keeps his pace slow, not wanting to make more noise with his hips snapping against your ass. It’s nearly tortuous though, the drag of his cock in and out of you so slow that you can feel every ridge as he takes his sweet time. You can only handle it for a few moments before the tingling hints of pain from the stretch subside and the burning need for him to fuck you senseless takes over.

"Joel" you whine, "Faster, please."

He leans over you, his front pressed against your back, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. "You're not gonna stay quiet if I do," he says, his voice deep and gravelly, "Just take what I give you, sweetheart."

You're so worked up, the slow pace makes you even more desperate for him, and you can't help it, you need more, and you reach a hand back and grab his hip, urging him to speed up.

"I-I'll try" you promise, "Please, just- Just fuck me, Joel, please"

He hesitates, but the way you're squirming beneath him is so tempting, and the way his cock is throbbing and dripping inside of you is telling him that he needs more too.

Before you can say anything else, he's pulling back, the thick, heavy weight of him sliding out of you. You whimper at sudden empty feeling but you don't have time to complain before he's flipping you over onto your back and scooting you up the bed before climbing on top of you. You can’t help but notice how big he is, the muscles flexing smoothly in his strong arms that box you in as he hovers above you, nearly encompassing your entire body underneath his. His mouth is on yours before you can even blink, his tongue slipping past your lips and kissing you like his life depends on it.

He settles between your legs, his hips nestled in the cradle of your thighs, his cock dragging along your clit again warm and heavy, and you gasp, the sound swallowed by his mouth. You're squirming again, desperate to feel him stretch you out more and he takes mercy on you, reaching between your bodies and grabbing the base of his cock, guiding the thick head towards your entrance.

"Gotta be quiet, baby" he warns, his eyes boring into yours as he looks down at you. "Those pretty noises are just for me, yeah? Can't have anyone hearin' 'em."

You nod frantically and the next second he's pushing in, the fat head of his cock forcing its way into you and bottoming out in one smooth motion. You let out a gasp that's definitely too loud but Joel is quick to remedy it, his hand coming up to cover your mouth, his fingers splaying across your cheek.

"Shh" he shushes you, his hips rolling, the slow, lazy drag of his cock against your walls making you clench around him. Your eyes roll back, your back arching as his hand stops all the whiny little sounds you can't help but make. He continues to fuck you slow and deep, his cock sliding in and out of your soaking wet cunt, the filthy sounds of skin slapping against skin echoing softly in the room.

You can't take your eyes off him, watching his eyes squeeze shut, the muscles in his arms and shoulders flexing as he fucks you, his brows knitted together and his teeth sunk into his bottom lip. He looks beautiful like this, sweat glistening on his skin, his jaw tight, and his eyes shut tight, his mouth hanging open with his breaths coming out in soft, barely audible pants.

"Mmm" he hums, his hips picking up speed, his cock pushing impossibly deeper. "You feel so fuckin' good, baby. Fuck."

You reflexively clench around him and a shudder runs through his whole body.

"Gettin' real tight" he pants, "Tryna milk the cum right outta me, huh? Tryna make me fill up that pretty pussy?"

You whimper into his palm, your pussy fluttering, a fresh wave of slick coating his cock, and he groans, his hips picking up speed.

"S'what you want?" he asks in a hushed tone, his hand still pressed firmly over your mouth. "You want me to fill you up? Make a mess of that pretty pussy? Breed you until you're fuckin' stuffed, baby girl?"

Your back arches off the bed, the coil in your belly so tight that you think you might pass out. He's rambling, his thrusts losing rhythm, his breathing getting ragged and choppy, his chest heaving and his thighs shaking.

"That's it" he coaxes when you tighten around him even more, "Can feel it, can feel how close you are. Go on, baby, cum on my cock. Wanna feel that tight, wet cunt cum all over my cock, please, baby."

His hips snap forward, his cock pushing deep into you, the tip rubbing against the spongy spot deep inside you that makes the coil in your belly finally snap. Your eyes roll back, a muffled, broken moan falling from your lips as your entire body convulses, your orgasm washing over you and making your toes curl as your walls flutter around his cock buried to the hilt inside of you.

Joel lets out a deep, low groan, his hips stuttering as he fucks you through your orgasm. His hand slips away from your mouth so he can grip your hips with both hands, his fingers digging into the soft flesh, holding you in place so he can chase after his own release. His chest is tight as he holds in his grunts and groans, but it’s barely any use with the lewd noises that fill the room as your pussy gushes around him, your slick leaking past the tight seal of your walls around him and dripping down to his balls. 

"Oh, shit, baby. Christ,” he chokes out, his stomach muscles clenching as his hips slam into yours, his cock pushing impossibly deeper and harder. “Keep makin’ a mess, keep lettin’ me feel it. That’s it. Fuckin’ hell.” 

You can feel his cock starting to throb inside of you and you know he’s close. And you can’t stop the words from leaving your mouth, the need to let him know just how good he’s making you feel is destroying any bit of common sense. 

“Want you to fill me up,” you whine. “Please, Joel, wanna feel it.” 

That’s all it takes. His jaw clenches, his nose scrunching as his eyes squeeze shut. His cock twitches and pulses as he buries himself as deep as he can get before spilling into, filling you with thick, hot ropes of his cum. His hips jerking and stuttering d you clench around him, squeezing and milking him for everything he has while he buries his face in the crook of your neck, muffling his broken, ragged moans against your skin.

"So good,” he whimpers. “Fuckin’ perfect.” 

The praise goes straight between your legs and you wrap your arm around his shoulders, trying to pull him closer. He lifts his head, his palm resting on your cheek as he lifts his head and presses his lips against yours, kissing you languidly. His hips rock back and forth lazily, pushing his cum in as deep as he can get it. You melt into the bed underneath him, the only things keeping you tethered to the earth being your fingers combing through his hair and your legs tightening around his waist.

When he finally pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours, and you're both left panting, trying to catch your breath. You listen to the muffled sounds of people downstairs, the movie playing and their drunken voices filtering in through the door, and Joel must be thinking the same thing because he chuckles.

"Well" he says, his thumb rubbing back and forth over your cheekbone, "I don't think anyone heard us."

"You better hope they didn't" you retort, a grin on your face. Joel rolls his eyes. "That's a weird way to say thank you" he teases. You start to laugh, but the sound dies in your throat, morphing to a whimper instead when he starts pulling out his softening cock.

"Joel" you whine, but he doesn't stop. "Joel, please. It's-"

He's not listening, he's too focused on the way his cock looks when he pulls out. The tip slips out of you, and the rest follows, and his eyes widen as he watches a string of thick, sticky cum stretch from the tip of his cock to your cunt. It breaks, falling to your thigh, and he licks his lips. He can't tear his eyes away, watching the way your cunt flutters, and his cum starts to drip out, running down your slit, the obscene sight making Joel's spent cock twitch. 

"Shit" he mutters under his breath, "Ain't that a pretty picture."

He reaches down, dragging a finger through the mess of cum and slick and gathering it on his finger before pushing it back into your cunt. You clench around the digit before he sighs and pulls it back out.

"Gonna be leaking all day tomorrow" he murmurs, almost to himself.

You whimper, the thought of having him dripping out of you all day like that has renewed arousal already seeping into your veins. 

“It’s okay” he assures you, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll take care ya. Clean you up and put my cock back in right where it belongs, how’s that sound, hm?” 

You sigh, nodding, a wave of fatigue washing over you. “Sounds perfect,” you agree. 

You watch as he climbs off of you and starts to move, but a sudden, sharp sound of knuckles knocking on the other side of the bedroom door makes you both freeze. 

“You two are fucking disgusting!” the voice of your cousin calls out, accompanied by the sound of a couple other people giggling and laughing. “Put some goddamn clothes on and get down here!” 

You and Joel exchange glances, his eyes wide and apologetic, his cheeks burning bright red as you give him a look that says I told you so. 

“Alright, alright, we’re coming” he yells back. 

“We’re coming! Oh, yeah we’re coming!” another voice teases, the sound of everyone bursting out laughing quickly follows. 

“We’re never doing that again” Joel mutters and you can’t help but chuckle. 

“Yeah right. Keep telling yourself that”

Thank you for reading!!! Plsss let me know if you enjoyed hehehe

#joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller one shot #joel miller fic #the last of us #tlou fic #joel miller #pedro pascal characters

[moonchild1]

jeon jungkook fic rec list (Ⅷ)

it's finally here! i've been working on this list for so long and honestly with the release of seven i had to reorganize it but it's finally ready soooo here's a list of the fics i've been reading lately, honestly i loved every single one of them and enjoyed it so much and i would sell my soul to get a chance to read them all over again, i've been exploring way more and reading genres i haven't read before so i am so excited to post this list, i've grown attached to alot of the series so i'm beyond excited seeing how they all play out but i hope you all connect and fall for the fics as well and experience that excitement too... remember to follow, like, comment and give lots of love to our talented writers they deserve so much love and support i mean look at all the magic they share with us!! and check out their masterlists too you might find your faves as well... as you know majority if not all the fics i rec contain smut so no minors allowed and also dni. i love that you guys have been sending me recs and questions i love hearing from you so please do keep sharing them and asking... stay happy and healthy everyone and enjoy the list till next time 💘🖤

a- angst s- smut f-fluff

series

employed by @personasintro f s a (ceo au slow burn e2l) updates on wattpad

seven days by @/kithtaehyung f s a (fuckboy jk roommate to lovers)

candles & flames by @taegularities f s a (enemies to lovers royal/regency au fuckboy jk)

ego season by @sparklingchim s (jock jk fwb brothers best friend college au)

the lucky one by @babystrcandy f s a (rivals/enemies to lovers childhood friends)

bangtan scouts by @hisunshiine f s a (fantasy au college au friends to lovers)

seven days by @/hisunshiine f s a (brothers best friend age gap fwb)

bloodline by @jjkeverlast s a (fwb au slow burn college au)

seven days a week by @/jjkeverlast f s a (fwb au college au)

dextrocardia by @jeonstudios f s a (officer au undercover fake marriage e2l)

drown for you by @/jeonstudios f s a (siren au)

as we were by @archivedkookie s a (infidelity au marriage au slow burn) ft yoongi

secret slut by @jeonsweetpea s (office au assistant jk)

moonstruck by @/jeonsweetpea s a (supernatural au slow burn e2l based on the vampire diaries and legacies)

angel’s trumpet by @hansolmates f a (idol au supernatural au)

timing by @spideyjimin f s a (dad jk past lovers au)

full stop by @1oserjk f a (divorce au parents au)

spicy n sweet by @thvhoe s a (boxer au established relationship)

the princess and the rockstar by @httpknjoon f a (rockstar au royalty au)

redamancy by @lesgetittkookie f s a (rich girl au s2l)

the ability to fathom by @hanniwrites f s a (brothers best friend idiots to lovers pining college au virgin au)

denial by @girlygguk f s a (idol au fwb brothers best friend)

safety net by @pradaksj f s a (boxer au e2l)

the forgotten spaces by @oddinary4bts f s a (slow burn e2l dancer au college au)

sinful lust by @oddinary4bts s a (threesome au) ft. boyfriend myg

over wine by @koocycle f s a (marriage au)

friday nights and take-out by @ahundredtimesover f s a (idol au s2l)

blackout by @jjungxkook f s (bf2l roommate college au)

the damsel & her knight by @jimilter f a (chaebol au ceo jk e2l)

at your service by @untaemedqueen f s a (escort au s2l ceo au)

pr disaster by @ughcore f s a (e2l actor au fake dating)

aphrodite in war by @jungblue f s a (frat boy au fake dating roommates e2l)

to err is to love by @jungkookschin f a (exes au dilf au ceo au)

live through this by @starshapedkookie s a (exes frenemies to lovers band au)

my love is here by @solemnreads f s a (unrequited love best friends slow burn)

clash by @matchagator f s a (neighbours slice of life e2l)

to what we were before, and all the things after by @orchidyoonkook f s a (prince jk s2l f2l slow burn college au)

one-shot

devoted to trouble by @/jeonsweetpea f s (spiderkook)

accidental roommates by @/jjkeverlast f s a (dilf au roommates to lover e2l)

calling you cool by @/kithtaehyung f s a (rockstar au s2l)

college nights, diner fights by @/hisunshiine f s a (e2l waiter au)

love is gone by @jeonbunnie s a (established relationship break up au)

the boy with galaxies in his eyes by @/oddinary4bts f s a (idol au fuckboy au fwb tattoo artist au)

no longer strangers by @soft4gguk f s (summer love strangers 2 lovers)

the hating game by @sxtaep s a (e2l lawyer au)

what if i love you too much? by @taleasnewastime f s a (single mom au neighbours to lovers)

jasmine by @/btssmutgalore f s (friends to lover shy jk) on ao3

please don’t go by @httpjungkookcom f a (spider kook childhood best friends)

boy's a Liar by @/thvhoe f s a (best friends bf e2l college au)

masked by @flymetothejoon s a (drummer jk s2l)

lonely hearts club by @joonbird s a (tattoo artist dystopian au)

this is how you fall in love by @jeonqkooks f s a (rockstar au established relationship)

freak-quency by @gukslut f s (rockstar au s2l)

boots by @/gukslut f s (rockstar au)

wake up call by @junghelioseok s (established relationship)

orange tulips by @kainks f s a (soulmate au reincarnation)

skirt chaser by 1kook s (f2l college au)

blueberry haze by @caelesjjk s (drummer au s2l)

cabin fever by @jeongi f s a (ex best friends unrequited love)

the millionaire and his lover by @gukyi f s a (f2l ceo au fake dating one sided love)

take what’s yours (and stay) by @kidguk f s a (f2l s2l pinning)

overtime by @cupofteaguk f s (ceo au boss au)

↬looking for other jjk fics or the other members check out my library

#kiki!fic!rec #jungkook #kiki's library #jungkook:oneshot #jungkook:series #jungkook:smut #jungkook:angst #jungkook:fluff #favourites!jjk #jungkook fanfiction #bts fanfiction #jungkook angst #bts angst #jungkook fic recs #bts fic recs #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #jungkook series #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook smut

[missnxthingg]

I CAN'T LIE TO YOU ✮ LN4

pairing: Lando Norris x bestie!Reader (childhood best friends to lovers) summary: Lando Norris decides to surprise his best friend after being a long time away from home. What she didn't expect was that he had a big secret that he couldn't share with her words: 4.5K - warnings: swearing, suggestive content & not proof read author's notes: I'm back once again! Now you just know I'm a sucker for childhood besties to lovers. Also, I may have already started writing a part two for this one... let me know if you want it!

main masterlist | main blog | taglist

The days in England have become more boring with time. Y/N was losing her mind over the repetitive routine that follows the life of a college student. Work, study, beer with close friends and bed. So when her mother invited her for a family dinner, she worried about how excited she got with the event. It wasn’t supposed to be anything special, just her parents and a few of their close friends gathered to catch up over nice food. 

Coming home felt way too good. It’s a feeling most college students get when they go back to their hometown, leaving their crappy flat in university to be served with their parents pampering during their quick visit. Y/N was supposed to be back to her place in just a couple of days, but she felt satisfied to be in a different place than the four walls of her house. Not to mention that she was having a good laugh with everyone at the table.

Her mother always takes dinner parties to another level, serving the best food in her special crockery, saved for moments like this. So Y/N packed a nice new outfit; a cute long-sleeved dress that looked perfect with tights and heels. Not that the guests cared about how she was dressed, but it felt nice to look beautiful and all put together for once after months of hoodies and leggings.

As usual, her parents invited the Norris family, as they’ve been the best of friends for the longest time. Not only they lived next to each other for years back when she was younger, all of their kids were really close friends with Y/N. But the spotlight always goes to Lando, who is the same age as her, making them grow up attached to the hip.

They all grew up going to the same school, not to mention that she would always tag along in Lando and his brother’s karting sessions, having the best time watching them drive flawlessly on tracks. He always enjoyed the times when she’d steal her parents cameras so they could make some homemade videos of their time together. Or when they would sit back, watch their dads play golf every Saturday and share candies in the cart. 

  Y/N and Lando have been inseparable since the age of four, growing up side by side, going through everything together. She was so important to him that, when he joined Formula 1 and had to choose a number to race, he chose the age the two of them had become friends. 

“The number four is for my best friend, Y/N. She was the one to suggest it, and the meaning behind it is very cute. Actually, I don’t want to tell you to not spoil anything, but I can only say that it’s very dear to my heart”, Lando said once in an interview during his second season in F1, making every single one of his fans curious about the meaning.

But it’s been a while since the infamous duo had been together. They supported each other from afar; Y/N sometimes joining him for race weekends and Lando coming back to see her on birthdays and weekends in London, while he visited the McLaren factory. But the last time they had been together was four months ago, during summer break, when he dragged her to join him for his crazy trips around the world. When racing and university was back on, they lost a little bit of touch; almost no calls and only a few texting breaks so they wouldn’t fall apart.

A lot happened in those four months. Lando had a new gorgeous girlfriend; a model who everyone had become obsessed with her TikTok videos for beauty tips. They had been seen together a few times around the world, her joining him for the races and a lot of make-outs behind DJ booths at parties. Y/N, on the other hand, was lacking in the dating department. But the friends she made over the past year made everything worthy. After years of pretty much having Lando as her only very close friend, she finally found new people to go out and have fun as a normal 20-year-old.

With that, Y/N and Lando’s friendship got weird. He had been avoiding her for a while, with the excuse of being too busy with racing, but actually not wanting to talk about his personal life with someone who knew him like the palm of her hand. Meanwhile, she was having a good time with her friends to be bothered by anything. But lately, life had become more boring and Y/N felt like having Lando back would bring some more fun into her life again, with all the epic parties and the good times they always managed to happen.

“Only one month left”, she thought, as winter break was approaching, meaning that Lando would finally be free to come home for the holidays.

She was pushed out of her thoughts by Adam Norris, who now seemed interest in Y/N’s life after a long catching up with her dad. “Tell us more about college! Are you having fun? Learning anything special?”, he asked with a kind smile.

“Oh, I’m graduating this spring, so it’s been… rough”, she chuckled. “But everything has been amazing, you know? The internship is so cool and the people are nice as well”.

“I just can’t believe it will all be over soon”, his wife, Cisca, responded. “It feels like it was just yesterday when you joined uni and Lando started his first season in F1. Time really flies, uhm?”

Every mention of his name made Y/N smile like a fool. But lately, it has been accompanied by a ting of pain on her chest. God, she missed him so much.

“What is it that you miss?”, Cisca asked, pulling Y/N out of her thoughts. Shit, did she say that out loud?

“I said I missed your pie so much, Cis. You know I have always loved it growing up”, Y/N tried to cover it up by stuffing her mouth with the cheesy pie, trying to keep her thoughts of being spoken out loud. But something caught her by surprise.

“Yeah, mum’s pie is the best in the world, isn’t it?”, a male voice said from behind her, one that she hadn’t heard in person for a while. Her eyes widened when she realized who it was, only to turn around and see Lando standing right behind her tugged into his signature comfortable hoodie, with a giant smile plastered on his face, and a bouquet in his hands. “Surprise!”

Y/N brought her hands up to her mouth, trying not to cry at the sight. She couldn’t believe what was standing in front of her. So she jumped out of her seat and jumped into his arms, not caring about anyone else in the room or the flowers being crumpled up in his hands. Lando buried his nose in her hair, taking in her scent, making him feel at ease for once

“What are you doing here?”, she leaned back, holding his face between her hands. His soft eyes looked down at her, his smile never faltering.

“I thought I could surprise my best girl”, he admitted, digging one of his hands into her hips, making her securely close to him. “I had a break before the end of the season, and it had been so long…”

“Shut up, you idiot. I just want to hug you”, she cut him mid-sentence, burying her face in his neck, making his smile even wider, if that was possible. Everyone on the table laughed at her reaction, but let them have their moment after months without seeing each other. It felt too good to be true. 

“I missed you so much”, he whispered in her ear, pressing a small kiss to the top of her head.

“I missed you too. Welcome home, Lan”, she leaned back and kissed his cheek, making it tinted red. Lando was so cute when he blushed. “You brought me flowers! How cute is this?”

She took the giant bouquet filled with red and pink roses out of his hands, bringing it close to her body. “It’s an apology for not being here as much as I should”, he said, making her heart so warm with the thoughtful gift.

“You being here is enough”, she pressed another kiss to his cheek and quickly pulled him for another hug. They just couldn’t get enough of each other.

“Alright, we all know you both really miss each other, but you can catch up after dinner. Food is getting cold and poor Lando must be starving”, her mother cut them off, making Y/N look back at the table, her face burning in embarrassment. He laughed at her behavior and pulled the chair next to her so they could sit together.

Through the whole dinner, Lando told all of his amazing stories traveling the world, leaving all the ‘best friends only’ parts for later, when he would be alone with Y/N. She felt so happy to finally have him by her side, making fun of her table manners, resting his hand on her knee and cracking any bad jokes just to see her roll her eyes. And even though he lived those many adventures, Lando knew life couldn’t get better than having his favourite person in the world back on his side.

“So, Lando, what finally brings you back home?”, Y/N’s father asked, making him shrug.

“You know, the championship could’ve been better and I feel really tired, you know?”, Lando searched for his best friend’s hand under the table, entwining their fingers once they met. Then he looked at her with an adoring smile on his face. “I just need some recharging. Thought I could use some home time before the last few races of the year”.

“You’re always welcomed to recharge in our house if you want to, Lando”, her mother said before the conversation was taken somewhere else once again.

While everyone else chatted, Y/N and Lando updated their phone gallery with new pictures of them. A lot of cute selfies and pictures of their homemade dinner which soon found their place on their Instagrams.

y/username

liked by landonorris and 3,419 others

y/username: always feels good to have my best friend back in the house

tagged: landonorris

landonorris Besties reunited LFG!

↪ y/username you’re such a bore

fanacc1 FINALLY SOME Y/N AND LANDO CONTENT

fanacc2 Wasn’t him dating a model?

↪fanacc3 He is, but Y/N is his childhood best friend

fanacc4 ugh, if i was his gf, i would be so jealous of them together

↪fanacc5 I bet his girlfriend actually hates them

fanacc6 Does this mean more Y/N around the paddock?

The dinner was coming to an end with the delicious sweet treats they prepared for dessert. At that point, Lando and Y/N were just existing at the conversation. He slipped an arm around her shoulder and she found a comfortable spot to lean into him and keep sipping on her wine while they shared a slice of cake. But even though they were quiet, they surely weren’t tired. So as the rest of the adults continued with their chat, they took their glasses of wine to the backyard, just so they could have some alone time.

Lando chuckled when he saw what was still standing strong in her backyard. “You still have our old treehouse?”, he asked and she nodded excitedly. “Wow, it looks so much nicer than before”.

“It’s because I renovated it, you fool. Haven’t I told you?”, she asked, but Lando shook his head. “Oh my… you have to see this! Now it’s a grown up treehouse! Take a look”.

Y/N dragged him to the small construction and made him climb all the way up to the house. It changed a lot with the renovations. Their wall doodles from when they were little kids were preserved by a varnish coat on the wood. She also substituted the old toys for books and her collection of vinyls, making the place look extra cozy. There was even a table for afternoon tea and card games, a TV and a huge futon, with lots of cushions, so they could just lie down and spend the rest of the day hidden from the world.

“What a glow up!”, he joked. “I loved it. This is amazing”, Lando took a place next to the window, where the moonlight invaded the room. Y/N sat next to him and almost immediately pulled out her camera just to capture the moment. And just like old times, they had fun doing a tiny photoshoot together, only to be cut off by his mom, calling them from the ground.

“Are you coming, Lando?”, Cisca asked, making him look over to Y/N, who replied for him.

“I’m not letting him go anywhere, Cisca”, she joked, throwing her arms around Lando, making his mother laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of your son”.

“Have fun you two”, they waved at her and sighed after finally being left alone for a proper catching up between best friends. Lando had a satisfied smile on his face and he felt so calm at that moment. He threw both of his arms around his best friend and hugged her tightly.

“Home, at last”, his cheek was pressed on the side of her face, making her giggle with the contact. “I want to know everything going on with you. Just blurt it all out. I owe you this”.

“Oh, nothing great happened”, she shrugged. “Nothing that you didn’t know already. The internship is nice, but it’s coming to an end soon and I’m not sure they’ll keep me with them. And college is almost finished, so that’s kind of bittersweet”.

“I thought you were excited to have a degree”, he said, making her sigh. “Are you not happy about graduating?”

“Of course I am. You more than anyone knows how important this is to me”, she answered. “And I made so many good friends and I’ve been having the best time with them. I know graduating will make us grow apart”.

“Endings aren’t always nice, uhm? But you have to look at the bright side of things”, he started. “You’re finally achieving something great and you managed to have a really good time along the way. Made friends and worked really hard to become the best professional out there. I’m so proud of you!”

Lando has always been her biggest supporter on pursuing her academic path. He remembers all the talks they had about her wanting to master in communications. While he didn’t get to finish school to up his game in racing, he was there for every step his best friend took until enrolling in university. So when they talk about it, he always has that beautiful proud smile on his face, to which Y/N loved seeing.

“Thank you”, she smiled shyly. “And what about you, Mr Worldwide? You’ve been everywhere these past months. How was it?”

“Oh, always amazing”, he beamed. “I got to see so many amazing places around the world. You would’ve loved all the clubs I went to. The DJ booths are amazing. Oh, and the golf courts… breathtaking”.

“Yeah, I saw all the pictures”, Y/N arched her brows and rolled her eyes. “You didn’t even bother on calling, telling me about your adventures”.

“Sorry, I lacked in that department”, he apologized. “Even though everything has been amazing, I’m so tired of this year. I could’ve done better on the track and the last few races have been exhausting. I knew that I needed to recharge before the last two races, so I came back to you”.

“It’s always a pleasure to have you home”, she ran her hand through his curls and smiled. Lando always saw Y/N as his home. She always brings him that sense of familiarity, and her absence in his travels around the world were taking a toll on him.

Not to mention that hiding a big secret from his best friend also wasn’t doing him any good.

“But I’m not here to talk about me. I want to know everything about you”, he poked her side with his index finger and smirked. “Anyone special appeared in your life in the past few months?”

“Please”, she rolled her eyes. “The last time I had a proper hook up was during our summer trip to Bali with that guy on the club”.

“Come on, it can’t be that bad”, he giggled, but Y/N’s face was burning in embarrassment.

“I had a few dates in the past months, but fuck me, they were annoying”, Lando laughed at her statement. “One of them found out you’re my best friend and spent the entire time asking questions about you. And the only guy who was actually decent came in his pants when we were making out in his car. Didn’t even get to touch me”. 

“Oh, poor you”, he giggled. “So no boy to be my new best friend? I mean, come on, we need more male energy in this friendship”.

“Sorry, Lan. No boyfriend this time”, she said. “You, on the other hand, started dating this gorgeous model and forgot to tell me about everything.”

And there she said it: the topic Lando had been avoiding the most throughout the whole night. He really didn’t want to talk about it with Y/N, because his big secret had been hiding right there. He knew he couldn’t, and didn’t want to, lie about anything to her. And he also knew that he really needed to vent about this secret with her as well.

Lando turned really quiet, and looked away, avoiding her eyes. “Don’t start now, Y/N. I mean, there’s not much to say, to be fair”, he mumbled.

“Come on, I want to know everything about the woman who stole my bestie’s heart”, she poked him, but Lando didn’t dare to look Y/N in the eyes. “I mean, everybody loves her and she seems sweet. Why don’t you want to tell me about her?”

“Because we’re not together”.

“What do you mean? I’ve seen the Instagram pictures and the gossip pages posting videos of you two kissing in the club. I thought you were becoming a thing”.

“Y/N, don’t push it”, he asked, his voice bargaining on his throat.

“Why don’t you want to tell me about her?”

“Because we’re not together, I told you”, he sighed. “She’s a PR stunt. She’s not my girlfriend, and it’s been consuming me from the inside ever since we started this little thing”.

Lando finally looked her in the eyes and Y/N saw them brimming with tears. As an immediate response, she rested a hand on his arm and waited until he was ready to talk more. He leaned into her touch and the tears started to stream down his face. He’s never one to cry for anything, so the tears meant that it was so much more than he was letting show. Her heart broke at the sight of her best friend.

“Is this why you look more tired than usual?”, Y/N asked and he nodded, making the tears fall harder. “Oh, Lan… Come here”.

She pulled his head to rest on her chest and Lando wrapped his arms around her, needing some sort of comfort. He didn’t say much for a couple of minutes after, feeling his heart aching on his chest. He wanted to talk about everything with Y/N, because he knew she would understand him. He always feels vulnerable and safe enough to talk about anything with his best friend. 

“Everything is so fucked up, Y/N”, Lando cried out. “God, I can’t take this fake relationship anymore. Do you know how disgusting it feels to pretend to be in love with someone you’re not? And to lie to everyone, hiding it from my parents. From you. I can’t stand it”

“I’m sure you have a good reason to be doing so”, she said, fingers running through his curls and making him sure that she was right there with him. Y/N felt his fingers clinging tighter onto her. “You’re just doing your job and that’s okay. This won’t last forever”.

“I feel so lonely, you know? I was doing so bad on the last few races and I missed home so much. I missed talking to my dad and hugging my mom. I missed making fun of my sisters and going for a drive with my brother. And I missed you so much. I wish I could just stay here for a long while”.

“Soon you’ll get to be here for as long as you want, baby”, Y/N pressed a kiss on top of his head and Lando sighed in comfort. It ached a little less with her there. “And we’ll get to spend so much time together. You can come over and we’ll have sleepovers. We can take the car, drive around and go clubbing until sunrise. Whatever you want”.

“God, it would be so easy if it was you”, he whispered, still holding onto her as if his life depended on it. What did he mean with that? Just those single words made Y/N’s heart skip a beat. Truth is, while her heart ached for her best friend, she was relieved he’s not in love with someone else. Did he have feelings for her? 

“You know, I looked over my so-called girlfriend one night while we were hanging out at the club and I wanted to shout to everyone that it was all an act. She’s like a solid reminder of how lonely I am all the damn time. It’s ridiculous”, he grunted. 

“Come on, look at me”, Y/N pulled his face to look up and held his head between her hands. “Lan, you are never alone, okay? Even if you feel like you are, and even if I’m not there physically, you know that I’m always with you. I’m right here”, she rested a hand over his heart, making him smile through his tears. “I've been in your heart since the moment we met”.

“I…”, he started, but couldn’t get to say the rest. After all this time, Lando was afraid that the next move would ruin their friendship forever. But looking her in the eyes, comforting him through this rough time, he knew she felt the same. “I love you, Y/N”.

She was expecting anything. ‘I know’, maybe. That was so much bigger than what she imagined. Lando had said he loved her countless times over the years they’ve known each other; after all, they grew up together, almost like brother and sister. But this time, it was different. Y/N knew it, and Lando knew it too.

Y/N was too stunned to speak, so he continued with his confession. “I always have, you know? And I only hid everything from you because I can’t lie to you. And because I thought you’d never look at me the same way if you found out”.

“Lando, I…” she stopped mid-sentence, trying to catch some air. “Fuck, this is a lot. Just wait a second”.

They giggled together and he leaned his forehead against hers. “It’s okay to not say anything right now. I just dropped a giant bomb on your lap. This wasn’t the way I wanted to confess to you, but I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore”.

“Are you saying this because you’re emotional? Because I swear to God, if you are, I’m gonna kill you for misleading me”, her eyes were brimming with tears and Lando whipped them away.

“I’m telling you the truth”, he assured. “I think I’ve loved you my entire life. With all the crazy things I’ve experienced in my life, you were the only constant. You’re home, Y/N”.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”, she asked and he took a deep breath.

“Because I was afraid of losing you. Scared this might ruin our friendship somehow”, he admitted. “You’re the most precious thing in my life. Do you know how scary it is to fall in love with your best friend when you’re just a kid? And then grow up, and those feelings never go away, just getting stronger every day. I just didn’t want to lose you”.

“You weren’t going to lose me, Lan”, her eyes softened at his confession and now he was the one wiping her tears. Y/N brought him back for a hug and even though he didn’t have an answer, deep down he knew she felt the same.

“I’ve loved you since we were four. There’s a reason why I always carry this number with me”, Lando confessed. “God, look what you do to me. I never cry”.

“You only cry for the important things”, she reminded. “That’s why I love you, Lando. I’ve been in love with you for my entire life too, idiot”.

His eyes widened as he looked up to her, who had a smirk plastered on her face. “Can I kiss you?”, Lando asked, but before she could properly shake her head in agreement, he crashed his lips into hers. He needed to be home, and Y/N has always been home for him. It was the most intense kiss they ever had, like years of lingering had finally paid off for both of them.

Lando pulled her closer with a hand on the back of her head. She wrapped her fingers around his neck, smiling into his lips. Then, as if it wasn't enough, he pulled her to sit on lap, making them closer somehow. She slowed down the pace, making the kiss needier and more delicious. Lando even let out a satisfied throaty moan, his heart speeding on his chest. Her touches made him feral, knowing that after years of pinning, he finally had his dream girl.

“Thank you for this”, he whispered against her lips, a wide and satisfied smile on his face. “Thank you for all the years, all the times you've been here for me, to tell me everything is going to be alright.”

“Always, Lan”, she played with the hairs on his nape. “I love you so much”.

“I love you too. So much”, he left one more peck on her lips before hugging her again. “I don't know what I'd do without you”.

“Yeah, me too”.

The story of how they fell in love with each other was long, but beautiful. Lando and Y/N sat in that tree house all night and shared all of those stories with each other. And for a second, he really believed everything was going to work out. After all, if he had Y/N, Lando would be just fine.

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

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[daylightflaneuserie]

while i've been away at uni, my brother's developed the same fear of spending money with which i'm still trying to deal, which is so upsetting because he's literally 17 this stuff shouldn't have to worry him

#the fact that he developed it too separately to me is very interesting though #because it does support my hypothesis that i picked it up from my parents' attitudes towards money #anyway when i have children i'm going to try and teach them simple economics from a young age & show that it needn't be scary #i do not fail to see the irony in that the thing i want to teach my children is the one subject i always avoided #but it's all about making things better for the next generation isn't it? #for now i just hope i can help my brother a little bit <3 #not to get possibly pseudopsychological but it all seems very generational #i think it goes back to my grandparents' childhoods & them being protective & secretive with money after growing up in poverty #an anxious and private disposition towards money which they passed down to their parents and now to us