a (very inexhaustive, wincest-heavy) sam whump reclist
@transfemmesam asked me for Sam whump recs a few days ago, and I've had other requests in the same vein before (I can't imagine why.../s) so I thought I would throw this together, since these authors deserve all of the love and support for their contributions to our li'l fandom corner.
like I mentioned in the title, this is not at all a comprehensive list; I have at least ~200 more fics in my to-read queue that could thematically fit here, but alas, I have stupid shit like a job and a body and a dog to take care of, so. I'm always happy to get recs along these lines, so if you notice anything important missing, hit me UP. (and don't take any omissions as any specific commentary by me -- it's likely I just haven't had the chance to read it yet, haha.)
disclaimers:
some (most, honestly) of these contain potentially triggering and dark content, including but not limited to rape/noncon, torture, and suicidal attempts & ideation. I have tried to note content warnings where applicable, and most of the works are hosted on ao3, so the tags should have most of the information you need to make an informed decision. that being said, tread with caution. all of the summaries provided are from the original author, with warnings added after by me.
the list is in alphabetical order and separated into wincest and gen categories. a lot of the gen is also focused on the sam & dean relationship, because...I am what I am. and what I am a sucker for these two dipshits. there is also a brief section at the end with a few fics that don't fit into either category.
gen
All That Goes Unspoken by amnesiawife:
A case forces Sam to confront something long kept buried. (Set nebulously in season 12.)
CW: discussions of past rape/noncon, victim blaming
Beneath the Trees 'verse by Lise (5 works total, starting with Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees):
Sam doesn't go to Stanford. Everything goes downhill from there.
CW: suicidal ideation
a boy is a cage by ad_castra:
After expelling Gadreel from Sam's body, Dean thinks they're in the clear.
If only they were that lucky.
//
S9 fic wherein Gadreel's grace causes some adverse side-effects in Sam's mind.
CW: past referenced rape/noncon, body horror
body of proof by Askance (doomcountry):
There are things Sam hasn't told his brother. They're all in the envelope laid on Dean's pillow.
CW: heavy discussion of past rape/noncon
break these bones 'til they're better by redskyatmorning:
After Sam’s torture at the hands of the British Men of Letters, the latest in a long string of violations, he is rescued by Dean and Mary – and forced to ponder his broken relationship with his own body. Months later, when Sam is resurrected and tormented by Lucifer yet again, Dean confronts Mary and Sam gets his revenge against the devil.
catching my death (staring out an open window) by ad_castra:
Sam gazes at the window, catches the faint pink hue tinting the sky. It’s so realistic - he could breathe in the fresh air if he were really here.
-----
They got Sam out.
Sometimes, just knowing that isn't enough.
CW: implied past rape/noncon
Death of Convenience by WilsonTheMoose:
It should have been easy. Wendigos are no joke but daylight slows them. The weather's been unpredictable though and perfect, idyllic hunts don't exactly stay that way where they're concerned.
Or Sam has one card to play and never stops to think that Dean would care if he killed himself.
CW: suicidal ideation, references to suicide
Echoes of Hell by The_Nightbreaker:
It wasn't real. He wasn't in Hell anymore. That's what he tried to tell himself over and over. But two centuries of torture don't disappear in a day.
Sam struggles with visions of Hell, fighting to maintain his grip on reality. Dean hates that he can't protect his brother from what isn't real—but curse him if he doesn't try.
When the boys stumble on a case with ties to the Devil himself, will they be able to pull themselves together in time to stop the sacrifices? Or will the echoes of Hell finally overtake them?
Aka, season 7, but the plot is Hell trauma, not leviathans.
CW: suicidal ideation
Evening Shadows by withthekeyisking:
Sam is hallucinating the monster who tortured him for nearly two centuries, Dean feels like he's failing his brother, and a diner waitress bears witness.
CW: past rape/noncon
Everything Dies Given Time by Lise:
AU from 5.03. Sam discovers something wrong with himself, and learns to live with it. Only a lot less functional.
CW: suicide/temporary character death
The Freedom to Be Loud by jribbing:
It hadn’t occurred to Dean that maybe Sam remembered so much about that little nowhere town because something memorable had happened there.
CW: referenced past rape/noncon
golgotha by redskyatmorning:
There’s a vacancy on the throne of hell, and Sam is desperate enough to save Dean from Michael’s possession to give into the abyssal depths of his own darkness.
Head Space by ameliacareful:
A witch curses Sam leaving him blind, deaf, and bedridden. Left with only the inside of his own head and the occasional touch, Sam begins to unravel.
CW: suicidal ideation
Hiraeth by inkandpaperqwerty:
(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past
"Dean... I made a really big mistake."
For a second, Dean actually thought things were going okay. He was out of Hell, Sam agreed to stop drinking demon blood, they had just wrapped up a successful hunt... for once, everything was okay. And then it wasn't.
"I overdosed."
Not at all.
CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation
if i could leave (i would've already left) by serendipity0930:
“I have a mission from God for you,” the Angel whispers to the man. “It is time for you to do what you were born to.”
The man’s face twists into a smile, delighted over being chosen by Him, a purpose from God digging into his heart, carving out a place to fester.
“Hunt.”
...
05x03 AU where Zachariah is even more determined to keep the brothers apart and hunters are all too willing to take Lucifer's True Vessel off the board for good
CW: referenced suicide
It's A River (But Not In Egypt) by Lise:
He's still a liar. Maybe always has been.
CW: toxic Sam/Lucifer dynamics
Kindred Instruments by PinBitch:
They’re in a tug of war and Sam is the rope. He doesn’t need to be alive for that.
OR
Sam dies in detox, being flung against the walls of a metal box will do that to you. Dean and Ruby pick up the pieces.
CW: temporary main character death, permanent supporting character death
lazarus trick by katsidhe:
Sam's alive, so everything is gonna be okay.
13.22 coda.
Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence by Lise:
Sam's back. He's in one piece. That's the problem.
CW: self-harm
love is like ghosts by redskyatmorning:
I’m poison, Dean had said instead of I’m sorry. Well, Sam wants to say, what does that make me? What the hell does that make me?
(A look into Sam's mind in the aftermath of the Gadreel possession.)
The Other Brother by RadioFriday:
Sam and Adam are pulled from the cage at the same time. Sam is not right, and Adam, stuck as his caretaker, is not pleased.
Oxygen by inkandpaperqwerty:
“Cas! Cas, please! Please, answer me! Cas!”
Castiel ignores Dean for several minutes, but then Dean gives him an opening that might help him complete his mission. So, he goes to investigate, and what he finds is a very bloody, nearly dead Sam. Dean tells him where the injuries came from, and Castiel quickly becomes confused. It doesn't make sense, but Dean tries to explain it to him, and slowly... Castiel begins to understand.
CW: suicide attempt
Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc by AmberSock:
Sam waits, kneeling, for his execution.
What if Dean hadn't missed?
CW: temporary character death
Safety In Distance by GalaxyThreads and SpiritClusters:
The Mark of Cain is a brand of violence. Sam was an idiot to think that he'd be exempt from it, just because he and Dean are siblings.
sometimes a kind of singing by adi_rotynd:
Sam gets cursed. They're dealing with it. Jack can see souls. That one they're not dealing with quite as well.
CW: past referenced rape/noncon
Soul Windows by GalaxyThreads and Spirit Clusters:
A few months after his birth, Jack learns how to see souls. Then he comes to a realization about the Winchester brothers, Sam in particular, and it's not a pleasant one. (gen)
Starry Night by keepcalmsmile:
Sam attempts suicide-by-monster. Dean tries to help. It sort of works...until it doesn't.
CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation
such fragile, broken things by The_Bookkeeper:
Sam wishes that Dean would just get it over with already.
The Tale of Sir Galahad by keepcalmsmile:
Sam once said he could never be clean like Sir Galahad. Dean assumed he was just talking about the demon blood. Turns out, Sam was talking about something else too.
WARNING: Extended discussions of the aftermath of rape and childhood sexual abuse (but NO description of the actual events). Happy(ish) ending, but potentially very triggering.
CW: past rape/noncon, mentioned CSA
They Hammered in His Teeth by jribbing:
Sam has a secret.
CW: suicidal ideation
today's troubles (are history tomorrow) by a_good_soldier:
"It's not really something I know how to share," Sam had said.
In which Dean figures he ought to help Sam out a bit.
Touch and Go by themegalosaurus:
Tag to 9.19 (Alex Annie Alexis Ann) in which Dean realises why, exactly, Sam is so angry about what happened with Gadreel.
trust fall by ad_castra:
“I’m nothing like you,” Sam hisses. Nevermind relating to the anguish of going it alone. Nevermind that he knows what it is to be strapped down and forcibly cleansed against his will.
Sam wonders if these trials are purifying Crowley as well.
Words Like Glass by broken_cinders:
Dean never figured the cage wouldn't leave a mark. He was prepared for memories, flashbacks, and nightmares. He wasn't expecting the words Sam brought back with him or the way they made him seem just a breath beyond Dean's reach.
Wound and Unwound by fascra:
Sam stops eating spring of his freshman year.
CW: eating disorder
wincest (dean/sam)
Brittle by thecapn:
Sam Winchester has an eating disorder.
CW: eating disorder
Don't You Cry No More by sixtysevenlmpala (schittyfic):
The first time Sam gets badly hurt on a hunt, he doesn’t cry.
Dean does.
Fall On Your Knees by dollylux:
Sam doesn't quite make it home on the last day of school before winter break.
The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez:
Set between 7.04 and the aftermath of 7.07. Dean is not as okay as he'd like you to think. Neither is Sam.
CW: self-harm
Feels so good to feel again by Trojie:
The pain keeps Lucifer at bay, at least to start with.
Follow In Your Form by withthekeyisking:
Sam is hallucinating Lucifer in the wake of Cas bringing his Hell Wall crashing down.
To make matters worse, it seems like this has his dormant powers flaring back to life.
Last Temptation by merle_p:
Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state.
Because Sam is quite possibly dying, and there is nothing Dean can do to stop it. Because Sam is dying, and he just. Won’t. Shut. Up.
CW: mentioned past rape/noncon
leeches by Anonymous:
Sam discovers a spell to make everybody forget him. He’s convinced it’s for the best.
Pre-Stanford.
CW: attempted kidnapping/torture
Make Thick My Blood by themegalosaurus:
“You’re going to kill me, Dean,” Sam says, eventually.
And all Dean can say is, “I think I am.”
A season 10 AU, set after 10x14 ('The Executioner's Song'). Cas finds a solution that might cure the Mark of Cain; but if they're going to go through with it, Sam has a terrible price to pay.
CW: mentioned past rape/noncon
Prophecy of an Abomination by ashitanoyuki:
Sam is kidnapped by fanatically religious hunters and crucified. Coming back from this won't be easy.
Canon-divergent from midway through season 2.
Recall by De_Nugis:
Sam's having a hard time telling what's real and what isn't, especially when it comes to some voicemails from Dean.
The Room Upstairs by brokenlittleboy:
Sam comes back from hell, but he’s inside-out and all wrong, and Dean can’t fix him.
CW: mentioned past rape/noncon
Ruin You (and its companion fic Worth) by Mumble_Bee:
Cole fucks Sam with Demon!Dean watching from a devil's trap, snarling that anyone would dare touch what was his.
“I told you I don’t care what you do to his face or his blood or his fucking nose,” Dean growled, “but you put your dick anywhere near him and I will end you.”
“Better hurry up then, Dean, because I don’t think I can wait much longer.”
CW: explicit rape/noncon
Snowed In by HelloStarlingFics:
When working a case, Sam and Dean get stuck out in a shack in the woods when the snow comes in hard and fast. Trouble is, Sam’s hated the cold ever since the Cage.
Time for Dean to step up and look after him.
Wake by minchout:
Gadreel has had Sam for four years, and Dean, lost in guilt and obsessed with finding a way to get his brother back, has isolated himself in a cabin in the Missouri Ozarks with nothing but the woods, a stray dog, some chickens, and all the books the Men of Letters had to offer to keep him company. Then Sam shows up one day without his passenger, and Dean learns quickly that it doesn't matter that Sam is with him again - there is still a lot of work to be done before they can find their way back to each other.
Wanting to Forget by morganaDW (morgana07):
1-shot. S1 fic. After getting Sam freed from the Benders Dean thinks all he has to cope with is some bruises and cuts. He learns quickly just how wrong he is when Sam wakes up with a nightmare, reliving his brief but bad captivity in every detail. Sam just wants to forget & Dean has to try to get him to let him help. Will one night of cruelty and pain ruin what’s been formed between them?
CW: referenced past rape/noncon
when I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place by quake_quiver:
Sam doesn’t remember the last time he cried for Dean like he did that night.
And now it’s been…two weeks. Maybe more. Sam is tired, and in pain, and starting to doubt that Dean’s going to show up. He’s weak and shaking from a combination of constant pain and hunger.
Sam longs for Dean. Dean would make it better. Dean would fix it.
CW: rape/noncon, body horror
Wire Inside Me by merle_p:
There are a lot of things Sam hates about his current condition, to the point where he sometimes feels for the gun under his pillow at night, blindly toys with the safety, imagines pressing the muzzle into the underside of his chin and pulling the trigger just to make it stop.
But there’s nothing he hates as much as the shadows he sees in Dean’s eyes whenever his brother is looking at him these days. It’s not an expression he remembers ever seeing before, but Sam thinks it’s probably something like revulsion. Horror. Disgust.
What else could it be.
CW: referenced past rape/noncon, body horror, forced pregnancy
Worth (and its companion fic Ruin You) by Mumble_Bee:
Episode 10x01 "Black" where Dean is a human, and very, very, pissed off to hear someone has hands on his brother.
“It’s nothing personal,” Cole whispered into Sam's ear, too quietly for Dean to hear, “but I need to kill your brother, and I need him off his game when he gets here. I don’t wanna hurt you, kid, but I’m going to, anyway. I’m going to hurt you a lot."
CW: explicit rape/noncon
you'll never see us again by according2thelore:
Then finally, his eyes trail over to Dean.
His pupils are pin-point thin, and his hair is straggling in his face so Dean can’t see most of what expression lies there.
Sam usually wakes up from nightmares in one of three attitudes: confusion, fear, or calm. A scary, sense-prickling calm that Dean hates more than anything else. Resignation, almost.
Or: Sam suffers from nightmares and touch starvation post-Cage. They do their best to deal.
other
Sam/Lucifer noncon
Cage Fight (No Way To Do This Right) by Dyed_Red:
Sam’s visit to the cage is already going awry, but Dean’s one-man rescue ends up skidding it sideways into territory neither him or Sam are ready for.
(Gratuitous episode scene re-write. If Cas hadn’t come till after, if he hadn’t been there yet when Dean ran down to the 'parole' cage after hearing Sam scream - how bad could it have got for the brothers before he made it?)
CW: graphic rape/noncon
Into Being by withthekeyisking:
When Sam wakes up in the cave on Apocalypse World after having been killed by vamps, it's not just to find Lucifer there with him. It's to find him in him.
CW: graphic rape/noncon, necrophilia, forced pregnancy
Reggie/Tim/Sam noncon
a pointless resistance for you by withthekeyisking:
Sam doesn't know how long he's been with Tim and Reggie by the time Dean shows up and tries to take him out of there. Long enough that's he's already lost one baby and is pregnant with the next. Long enough that this life is starting to feel like all he knows.
CW: graphic rape/noncon, forced pregnancy & miscarriage, victim blaming
screaming birds sound an awful lot like singing by withthekeyisking:
Sam has done his best to move past what Tim and Reggie did to him, pretending it never happened at all. But running into them again makes that very difficult—especially when Dean gets involved.
CW: referenced past rape/noncon
Waste 'Em All by withthekeyisking:
When Tim and Reggie try to force the demon blood down Sam's throat, he spits it back out. He has no interest in being turned into their own personal attack dog.
They don't...take it well.
CW: explicit rape/noncon
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ilovehowyouletmefall Destiel fics
So this is everything I've posted on AO3 since Nov. 5, 2020 (organized by length). I like to think there are a couple of unique contributions to the collective body of fanworks in here. If you haven't read my fic before, check it out, and I hope you find something you like!
my body aches to breathe your breath
839 words, rated E, PWP with feelings
Summary: “I used to think I wanted to possess you,” Cas said, his voice rough and confessional. “Fill your body with my true form, feel my grace in your fingertips, my light pressing against your skin."
Comment: "This is one of my favourite fics that I’ve read in like, a long while. It’s so lush, and hot, and hits the emotional beats sooo well"
Heal me with
3,023 words, rated T, 15x19 fix-it, hurt/comfort
Summary: When he gets the phone call, Dean thinks he’s finally cracked. But it doesn’t matter, because his legs are still carrying him to the crow’s nest, taking the stairs two at a time.
And when Dean flings the bunker door open, Cas is there.
Comment: "ok dang I do not even know how you got ALL of this in just 3000 words, like my mind is blown at the sheer craft level. The sensory details that give it a lot of texture, the immediate facts of what's happening then translated into everyone's emotions and actions just being so tender and real. It's just all here."
Godot ain't got nothin' on me and my baby
10,489 words, rated M, MCD-ish, 15x20 fix-it, angst and depression
Summary: Castiel is the new Death. Dean can only see him when he's dying.
Comment: "This is so lovely and feels so right. As someone who's dealt with depression my whole life, the feeling of being stuck and just slightly outside of everything and everyone rang so true."
Status quo ante bellum
11,201 words, rated T, 15x19 fix-it, fluff and angst
Summary: Cas is back from the Empty, human, and convinced that his relationship with Dean is unsalvagable. Can Dean get his shit together in time to prove otherwise?
Comment: "Augh, this was so endearing. Cas stubbornly seeing only what he wants to see, and how restricted he feels by his human form ... Dean's food love language. Dean being frankly adorable. ... Great read <3"
Wandering Through Purgatory
11,216 words, mixed ratings G-E, anthology, purgatory fic, pic-fic
Summary: A collection of ficlets about Dean and Cas in Purgatory from back during the hiatus before season 8 when everyone on tumblr was writing pic fic and tag fic and spinning a fantastic version of Purgatory in our minds.
Comment: "I wasn't even remotely aware of when this was actually happening, BUT I'm glad I get to see these bits and pieces now and then, like a glimpse into the past.
Much love❤️"
Full of Grace
11,399 words, rated E, 15x20 fix-it, fluff and angst and smut, trueform!Cas and tentacle sex
Summary: Dean wants to take things further with Cas. He just can’t get out of his own head. OR: Dean feels empty inside. Cas, um… fixes that.
Comment: "Holy fuck. First of all the writing is Unreal. Absolutely beautiful. Second of all this was simultaneously the hottest, most romantic, most genuine thing I've ever read. What the fuck I'm still completely gobsmacked"
Life Skills
26,052 words, rated E, s9 human!Cas, weird boy-bestfriends, fluff and smut and gender
Summary: Cas is human and comes to live in the bunker, and Dean spends a lot of time with him, sharing all of his favourite things. Dean can't help it if sharing things with Cas just makes everything better. Besides, it's Dean's job as Cas' friend to introduce him to the joys of human life. To teach him how to be human. And if one of the experiences they end up sharing is sex with women, well... that's just part of Dean's job as Cas' friend too, right? The desire is triangulated, the rituals are intricate.
Comment: "1: it was excruciatingly funny to see how far dean could take the 3-way (golden rule) without catching on to his own feelings
2: every single woman in this fic had me like "Good For Her" so well done there
3: 👀🔥🔥🔥🤌"
Ignite your bones
67,177 words, rated E, MCD, 15x19 fix-it, angst and grief
Summary: Chuck takes the Winchesters up on their offer in 15x19 and tells Dean to kill Sam. Dean, Cas, and Jack deal with the fallout for their relationships. It gets worse before it gets better.
Comment: "This fic flayed me alive and then put me back together again. Dean's pain throughout is so palpable, Cas's love so unshakeable, the tension between what they want and what they think they know and Cas trying to keep Jack safe and Dean trying to push everyone away and Cas's need to fix everything and Dean's determination to be broken. GOD. Oh and the way they're So Unwell about each other feels so true to their characters. I can't handle it. It's too good. I need to go outside and scream."
All your secret wishes series
I said show me something
7,195 words, rated E, 15x19 fix-it, PWP with feelings, toxic deancas
Summary: Dean didn't think that angels could feel love. But now that he knows he's wrong, he can use that to his advantage.
Comment: "This is so intriguing! You write a perfectly complex and at times disturbing alien Cas - and Dean! Dean, my man, what are you even doing. So very messed up and very Dean, I love it."
Forget your perfect offering
81,785 words, rated E, casgirl thesis
Summary: Cas was resurrected. Dean told Cas that he loves him, that he can have everything he wanted, but Cas has to stay with him. Cas promised that he would. The thing is, he didn’t realize how literal Dean was being. Now, Cas works on rebuilding Heaven with the angels, while he builds a new life with Dean. Neither of those things are as easy as Cas would have liked.
Comment: "the first fic in this series has been one of my all time favs so i was extremely excited for this sequel, and it did NOT disappoint!! u write every character so well and i love how much u focused on heaven and the angels bc i feel like the show never rly gave us closure and wasted a lot of opportunities w heaven/angel plot lines, which u absolutely nailed."
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