Going Back, ch 4
Chapter 3
AO3 Link
Rating: M, mature
Warnings: hallucinations, starvation, dehydration, needles, nondescript nudity | second person pov, g/n reader, present tense
I’ve been working on this one for over a month and decided to just go ahead and post the damn thing instead of stressing over it being the ‘right length’.
2214 words
G/N reader/ Crosshair
He’s almost impressed by how vivid this particular hallucination is, then he passes out.
————
After the shouting match Hunter had gotten into with you, it takes him a long time to calm back down. So long, in fact, that when he returns to the rooftop, he can tell by the sun that it’s late in the afternoon. The door screeches open as he steps out, and his brothers heads whip in his direction. He walks over and finds Omega curled up into Wrecker’s side and staring vacantly into space. Nobody says anything, until Omega breaks the silence with a hiccup.
“I’m sorry Hunter. This is all my fault,” she says, tears spilling over, and Hunter flinches like he’d been slapped.
“What makes ya think that?” Wrecker asks, surprisingly quiet.
“When I was talking with them last night, I- I asked why they didn’t just go back to Kamino alone, and they said they wanted to, bu- but they couldn’t because they didn’t know how to mask the ship’s signal,” Omega says, hiccuping again.
“I was telling them how to do it over the comm until you caught me. They never would h-have left if I didn’t, and now they’re stuck in hyperspace and can’t get out and it’s all m-my fault!” she says, her tone growing frantic as she continues before bursting into tears.
Hunter softly says her name and hunkers down across from her; she throws herself into his chest, nearly knocking him over as she sobs out "I'm sorry” over and over.
“That is true,” Tech says. The others shoot him a dirty look and he raises his hands before continuing.
“They couldn’t have left without that information from you, yes, but this is not your fault Omega,” he says, and she turns to look at him, confused.
“B-but you just said-,” she says, sniffling.
“You simply gave them information. You bear no responsibility for what they do with it. They could have stopped and turned back, but chose not to. That decision, and its consequences, are entirely upon their shoulders, not yours. None of this is your fault,” he says. Omega sits back and rubs at her eyes.
“I still shouldn’t have told them,” she says, though her cries are tapering down to an occasional hiccup.
“There’s no point in dwelling on that now,” Echo says. “We can’t change what’s already happened. But we can change what happens next.”
“Well, I guess we can try,” Omega says, calming down. She turns and looks to Hunter, as do the others. “But how?” she asks him.
“There’s not a lot we can do from here,” Hunter admits. “But if they open the comm channels, we can at least tell them what’s wrong,” he says.
“And how to fix it?” Omega asks, sounding hopeful as she looks back at Tech.
“There are one or two things that we can try, depending upon the damage to the drive. There is no guarantee it will work, but there’s no guarantee it will fail either,” he says.
“We just hafta keep calling ‘em,” Wrecker says, his comm unit back in his hand.
—
Meanwhile, in hyperspace aboard the Marauder, you’re in the cargo bay. You’ve spent the last hour trying desperately to find anything edible. You finally spot a small box of ration bars tucked away into a corner, seemingly forgotten, and snatch it up. The box feels nearly empty, and when you open it up there are only three bars left inside. You take them out, and you notice that they’ve been expired for several weeks. You drop-kick the box across the space and curse at yourself forgetting such a basic and important thing.
You then pause for a moment and take a deep breath. You’ll both be able to eat when you return to Ord Mantell, and you aren’t concerned with yourself anyway. You just hope that Crosshair can survive for another day or so on these bars. Expired is better than nothing, you think, and tuck them into a pocket before moving back to the bridge.
Once there, a quick check of the navigational system tells you that you’re less than three hours away from Kamino. You nod to yourself and head into the bunks. You set the ration bars aside, then crawl into your bunk, hoping for some rest. Over an hour passes, and all you’ve done is stare up at the bottom of Tech’s bunk, your hands trembling and your heart racing. You try to distract yourself from your growing anxiety by getting up and looking around for anything you’ll need, not if, but when Crosshair comes back with you.
You have all the medical necessities; being prepared for anything is the one thing you never budge on, and there’s a decently sized tank of drinking water with them in the cargo hold. You again realize that he’s going to be filthy, and after you check, you find the water reservoir is full enough for one shower, maybe two. On the heels of this, it occurs to you that he’s going to need something clean to wear, so you return to the bunks, searching everyone’s compartments. You dig up a set of leggings from Tech’s clutter of stuff, but the only other thing you can find is one of Wrecker’s shirts. That would be huge on its own, but it’ll be even more so with the dramatic weight loss you’re expecting. You again start thinking about what state Crosshair will be in when you get there, and you pray to the Maker that he’s alive.
The navigation system chirps at you, and you return to the pilot's seat, shaking badly. You flip a few switches, preparing to leave hyperspace, and when you shut the hyperdrive off, the ship lurches forward with a loud screech as it slows back down. The lurch is normal, but that sound definitely is not. Before you can worry about it, Kamino comes into view, and you immediately focus on your mission.
—
It started raining only hours after Crosshair watched everyone he’s ever cared about fly off without him. About three rotations after that, the rain was seemingly replaced by needles, with each drop that fell on his skin feeling like a sharp sting. The wind roars around him as he’s curled tightly into himself on the center of the platform. Aside from the constant noise of wind, rain, and his own chattering teeth, Crosshair can still faintly hear the steady, low beeping of his tracking beacon.
Someone has to know he’s here, or at least have noticed that he’s been missing for so long. A small voice in his head laughs at him and says “You’re just another clone. They destroyed this place with you in it. The Empire doesn’t care about you,” and he forces the thought away, having lost count of how many times he’s already done so. He does matter, he has to. They’d given him command, that can’t have been for nothing.
A bright flash of light catches his eye. He never really noticed that lightning can look like searchlights until he got stuck here. Having been tricked by his mind before, he ignores it. The wind picks up and imitates the sound of an engine, just like it had all the days and nights before. Although he thinks this sound is familiar, he still doesn’t look for it. No point in falling for another hallucination.
The platform shakes as something large touches down on it, and the engine-like noise of the wind stutters to a halt. He knows it’s not the wind now; He’d recognize the sound of the Marauder anywhere. He feels the platform vibrate underneath him as a single set of footsteps rush towards him, and just before they come to a stop, he shivers so hard that he falls to one side and just lies there, too weak to even sit back up.
Now there’s a voice, and it sounds exactly like yours, but he knows better. A pair of warm arms wrap around him, so he gives in and looks at who they're attached to. It’s you, holding him close as tears and rain mix on your cheeks. He’s almost impressed by how vivid this particular hallucination is, then he passes out.
—
Crosshair, who had been floating in the hypnagogic state between awareness and unconsciousness, suddenly feels his entire body lurch forward. This, in combination with a shrill screeching sound, is enough to wake him completely. He sits up, and it takes so much effort that once he’s upright, he’s panting for breath. Breath that has no humid or salty taste. Confused, he turns his head and finds himself in a bunk, under a pile of blankets, sheets, and even a few tarps.
He bends an arm and hisses loudly at a sharp stabbing sensation in the crook of his elbow. Someone’s placed an intravenous line into him. His eyes follow the line up to a saline bag, hanging from his rifle as a clearly improvised drip stand. The bag is already halfway emptied, and the drip is fast. He takes a breath, intending to raise his voice and demand to know where he is, but instead falls into a sudden coughing fit.
He hears hurried footsteps and looks toward the sound to find that it’s you. He tries to speak, but can’t. You hold up a finger in the universal ‘hang on a second’ gesture and dash out of the room before coming back with a small flimsi cup of water. He tries to lift his arm and take it from you, but the IV jabs him and he hisses again as he drops his arm back down.
You wedge yourself into the bunk next to him and hold the back of his head while you bring the cup to his chapped lips. The indignity he feels evaporates the moment the liquid passes down his throat. He relaxes into your touch, allowing you to gently tilt his head back as he sips at the water. Once the cup is emptied you crush it and carelessly toss it aside, then use your free hand to softly hold the side of his face and maneuver him to look at you.
“Wh- where-?” Crosshair says, his voice barely audible.
“You’re in my bunk, on the ship. You’re safe now, I’ve got you,” you say, keeping your voice soft but speaking clearly. Tears sparkle in your eyes. You shift a hand down to his bare chest and hold your warm palm against his heart, and this is when he realizes that he’s completely undressed. When he says your name, his voice is slightly clearer.
“Why am I naked?” he says, confused, and you can’t help a soft laugh as you shake your head.
“You’re hypothermic, your blacks were soaked through,” you say, then gently guide him onto his back again as you stand. You swiftly replace the emptied saline bag with a new, full one and slow the drip. Once you’re satisfied with that, you strip yourself completely, and Crosshair makes an odd noise, somewhere between a chuckle and a cough.
“Not wasting any time, huh?” he says with a faint smirk. You roll your eyes but smile at him.
“You’ll take in body heat faster if it’s skin on skin,” you say and he makes a ‘yeah right’ sound at you.
Minding his IV, you have him sit up enough for you to settle in behind him. He leans back into you and gasps before instinctively curling himself around you as tightly as he can. You allow this and, ignoring how cold he is, entwine your legs with his while also wrapping your arms tightly around his upper back and shoulders, keeping his chest pressed close to yours. You reach over and adjust the pile of covers to surround him, taking care to tuck it all in closely. He rests his head in the hollow of your shoulder and takes a long, deep breath before yawning. You plant a soft kiss to his temple and you feel his breath across your throat as he quietly says “You’re so warm…” before quickly falling asleep again.
Drowsiness threatens to overtake you too after about ten minutes, but you keep yourself awake by periodically checking his pulse and monitoring the IV drip. The second saline bag is nearly empty already. Without waking him, you manage to wiggle out from behind Crosshair and get to your feet. You redress yourself and quickly switch out saline bags, slowing the drip for a third time. You expected dehydration, but not to this degree, and worry about how much you have left. You tell yourself that it’s fine since you’ll both be planetside soon.
You adjust the pile of covers over Crosshair again, taking another look at the scarred side of his head, and something important suddenly occurs to you. You slip out of the bunks and start searching around Tech’s workbench. You find what you're looking for tucked away behind a box in a nearby compartment, and breathe a tentative sigh of relief when the chip reader powers up. You return to Crosshair's side and gingerly move his head just enough to scan it. The device beeps and the screen lights up almost immediately.
You look at the readout and have no idea how to feel; His chip is still there.
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KAMINO
Chapter 14 of Golden Dawn
A/N: I AM BACK with a brand new chapter. It's been a long time but I couldn't leave my favourite boys and especially Crosshair. Read this when you feel down about season 2. Read this if you need comfort. Read this.
Summary: Crosshair is recovering from his injury with you by his side. The bad batch is tasked to go back to Kamino and it's your first time seeing the place where they grew up.
Rating: explicit
Word count: 10k
Warnings: S M U T, description of blood, mention of anal sex
Taglist: @fangirl-goes-nova @murdertoothpick @tacticalsparkles @coffeeandtodd @luosymekawa @littlemisscare-all (if you want to be added just message me or comment)
You can read it here or click on the title and it will lead you to my ao3.
You didn’t know how much time passed. You were still sitting next to Crosshair, holding his hand. He was asleep and you told yourself that it was a good sign and that he needed it for a quicker recovery. The bacta bandage was working and the wound stopped bleeding.
You were still wearing the red dress but it was wrinkled and covered with stains of his blood. The stains didn’t stand out against the deep colour of your dress but they were burning you. It was his blood and you should have never seen it smudged on the floor or on your dress.
Wrecker didn’t want to leave your side but you told him to go get some sleep. You wanted some time alone with him.
You always knew what joining the army meant. That you would see terrible things. But this? It was more than you could have ever imagined. But you also knew that joining the army meant that you would see a lot of good. Do a lot of good. And helping and curing him was the best thing you have ever done in your life.
You suddenly heard a knock on your door and it pulled you back to reality. Tech entered shyly. He was holding a steaming mug in his hands and handed it to you. “I made you tea.”
“Thank you, Tech,” you smiled at him weakly. He took a step closer and looked at Crosshair. “He’ll be alright.”
You took a sip of the hot beverage. It was burning your tongue but you welcomed this pain instead of the one the blood stained fabric against your skin caused you. You wanted to change but couldn’t move and didn’t want to take your eyes off Crosshair.
“I know,” Tech said but he didn’t move, just stared at his brother. You stayed like this for some time before he glanced at you and your dress. “It’s going to leave a stain, let me help with that.” He looked focused and you knew he needed to do something. Anything. You forced yourself to get up and he respectfully left the room while you were changing.
You handed him the dress and he went to soak it before it got seriously stained. He returned not much later and took a seat next to you. You were both looking at the still soundly asleep Crosshair. His body suddenly twitched a little bit and his eyes were moving faster behind his closed eyelids.
“For what…?” your throat felt tight as you swallowed. Tech glanced at you with a serious expression on his face.
“For the war,” he looked deeply into your eyes. “This is our life. This is what we were made for.”
“It’s the only purpose you know,” you stared back with a hint of provocativeness.
“Yes,” Tech nodded in agreement. But that was not what you meant.
“No. No. This is not life,” you waved at Crosshair.
“He is alive,” Tech started to become confused.
You sighed deeply. “Don’t you want to spend days in your lab without coming out? Don’t you want to spend weeks, months exploring native flora and fauna on different islands? Spend more time with your brothers?” your voice has started to shake with anger and emotions.
Tech tilted his head slightly. “I do.”
“Then I think you have other purposes in life, Tech,” you said quietly. You didn’t speak for some time after this and he quietly left.
Later Wrecker came to check up on the both of you. You sent him a weak smile as he sat next to you and the chair creaked under his weight.
“How…” he started to ask but you interrupted.
“He is going to be fine soon enough,” you answered, repeating it a couple more times in your head.
“I wanted to ask how you are,” Wrecker leaned closer with wide, caring eyes. “I know he is going to be fine,” he nodded towards Crosshair, “I talked to Tech.”
You leaned against his shoulder and sighed. “It was a long day…”
“I know,” Wrecker patted your shoulder. “But you did good. I am proud of you.”
“Big guy…,” you were moved by his words. “Don’t make me cry even more today.”
“Maker save me from that,” he let some air out and chuckled.
“Thank you,” you told him and he nodded.
Wrecker remained by your side for the rest of the evening but somewhere along the line you fell asleep and woke up with a blanket over you. You blinked a few times and your eyes immediately found Crosshair who was still asleep. You listened to his breathing for a few minutes to make sure he was okay and then got up to use the fresher.
When you came back you found him moving in the bed, half-awake and gasping for air. He was covered in sweat and you ran to him, pressing down his upper body to keep him from tearing the wound open. The first few hours of healing were the most important ones, as that was when most of the healing was happening. It was crucial that he stayed as motionless as possible.
“I'm here, I’m here,” you repeated to him until he relaxed completely and his breath normalized again. You snuggled out next to him, careful not to touch his wound. Somewhere in the middle of the night your eyes closed and sleep finally took over you.
“You stayed,” you heard Crosshair quietly say. You woke up and found yourself laying half next to, half on him in fetal pose. You quickly sat up and inspected his wound. The bacta bandage did wonders during the night and while the wound was still serious it had started to heal. You felt a surge of relief wash over you. The hard part was over.
“Of course I did, this is my room,” you said with a smile on your face. He had circles under his eyes and his hair was an unruly mess but he was well and healing. He snorted but winced in pain and you pushed him back to the bed.
“I’ll change your bandage and take a better look at the wound.” He didn’t protest and closed his eyes. You got off the bed and stood next to him to see to his injury. You lifted off the bandage, checked the stitches, disinfected it and put on another bandage to close the wound. His face became serious and he didn’t show any sign of pain anymore but there was something troubling him.
“You’ll recover,” you tried to reassure him because you wanted the wrinkle between his brows to disappear. He did that when something was causing him distress. “You might have another scar but it’ll match your back,” you tried joking with him but he wasn’t in the mood anymore.
When he opened them his brilliant silver eyes were full of concern. He ignored you and sat up to look into your eyes. You tried soothing him and laying him back but he didn’t care. He reached out to you with his good hand and pulled you closer with his hand on your waist. He rested his forehead on your chest and pulled you closer to him. You automatically hugged him and stroked his head.
“I wasn’t able to protect you,” his voice was muffled but clear. “What if something were to happen to you while I am…”
“Nothing happened Cross,” you stroked his back. “My biggest concern is that I was so worried about you.”
“No…,” he inhaled sharply. “Finishing the mission was more important than taking care of you. I let myself slip…,” he admitted not without difficulty. “But that will never happen again. There’s no purpose in finishing a mission if…,” he gulped. “You are my purpose,” he hugged you tight.
“Crosshair,” your voice was filled with love and tenderness. “You are still quite drugged…,” the medic took over you. He blinked a couple more times and you gently made him lay back. You lay down next to him while he fell back to some more, well deserved sleep.
Some time later he awakened and you brought him a glass of water and some energy drops. He quickly consumed them and took a couple big breaths before standing up and making some movement.
“I think I should tell the others that you’re awake, they were really worried about you.”
“Why?” a shadow of a smirk appeared on his face. “They know they won’t get rid of me this easily.”
You smiled faintly at him and opened the door to call the boys in. Wrecker arrived first. He burst into the room and ran to Crosshair to pick him up and give him a hug.
“Put me down,” Crosshair demanded but he patted Wrecker’s shoulder with his good arm.
“Good to have you back, lil bro,” Wrecker grinned and shuffled Crosshair’s hair who made a sour face.
“Don’t call me that.”
“I missed you.”
Crosshair made a face and rolled his eyes. He took out a toothpick from the little box you kept on your nightstand and lifted it to his mouth. “Missed you too,” he said in a low voice before putting the toothpick between his teeth.
Hunter came after Wrecker and greeted Crosshair with a grin. “You could stop getting shot, it’s getting pretty boring.”
“I’ll try getting stabbed next time.”
“Good,” Hunter nodded. “Way more elegant. I like it.”
Tech came into the room while they were talking and stepped closer to Crosshair to inspect the wound.
“It’s going to heal in no time, Medy has done a nice job.” Crosshair nodded as Tech flicked through the test results you haven’t shown him yet. “Good,” he put them down and nodded at Crosshair. “You’ll be suitable to continue our work soon enough.”
You shook your head but you knew this was Tech’s way of telling him that he was glad to see that Cross was doing well.
“Alright, we should move this out of my room, I can barely breathe anymore,” you told them and you all walked over to the common room.
Crosshair was still half naked and now that you didn’t have to concentrate on healing his wound you couldn’t stop staring at him. He would have another scar added to his collection but it only made him more attractive.
“So about Hart…,” Tech started talking business but you still didn’t take your eyes off Crosshair. Suddenly Hunter snapped his fingers in front of your face and you were pulled back to harsh reality.
“Hey,” you made a face at him.
“Could you drool a little less obviously?” he mocked you. “Tech will make me mop everything.”
“You know we could just go back to your room,” Crosshair said in a deep voice and the corner of his mouth curled up. You couldn’t deny considering it…
“Stop it!’ Wrecker cried out. “You are jeopardizing my cognitive development.”
“Sorry, Wreck,” you said with an awkward smile. He was right. Not in front of the kid.
“I’m just surprised that he knows those words,” Crosshair smirked and moved the toothpick from one side of his mouth to the other.
“Me too,” Tech added, eager to talk about anything else than your sexual life.
“You know Tech that when you’re working really deeply on something you’re talking to yourself, right?” Wrecker asked him and Tech made a surprised face. “I might have picked up some of your fancy words along the way.”
“Just what else did I say out loud that I don’t know about?”
“A bit of this and a bit of that,” Hunter grinned, deliberately giving a vague answer.
Tech had to inhale deeply to be able to concentrate on this mission. “So…” he started, “about Hart.”
“Yeah, where the hell is he?” you wondered. You have completely forgotten about him.
“I knocked him out and now he is resting,” Wrecker answered.
“Tied up,” Hunter smirked evilly.
“I knocked him out in my way as well,” Tech finished.
“Did Tarkin want him alive?” you wondered. Because if he was knocked out by Wrecker, tied up Hunter and injected with something by Tech… The last string would have been Crosshair’s contribution, luckily that couldn’t happen.
“Yup,” Hunter shrugged. “He’s not dead.”
“A little less alive but things happen,” Wrecker added.
“I will leave it to you. But I am not treating him,” you said. “Just find out where we can get rid of him.”
“I have already reported to Tarkin,” Hunter announced. “He said that we are waiting for another call. He was not too talkative. What a surprise,” he rolled his eyes.
Before Tech could have said anything else a button beeped on his wrist and he looked down at it.
“Speak of the devil,” you made a face and Hunter sent you a smile.
You all moved over to the cockpit and watched a kaminoan appear on the hologram.
“Clone force 99,” she greeted the bad batch. Her words were feather-light and her penetrating gaze made you feel a little uncomfortable. “You are to come back to Kamino. Come as soon as you can,” she bowed a little and ended the call before waiting for the others’ reaction.
“We are going back to Kamino?” you asked with an excited face. “I have never been there before!”
“It’s not much to look at,” Hunter said and Wrecker nodded.
“It’s boring. They never gave us real blasters in the simulations.”
“The laboratory is very well equipped though,” Tech added and pushed his goggles back on his nose. “Maybe we can work some more on the project we started earlier,” he looked at you eagerly and you smiled.
“That would be nice Tech.”
“Great, we can look at regs again,” Crosshair rolled his eyes and you frowned.
“You just took a blaster shot and didn’t complain about that but this you complain about?”
“Yes,” he nodded and you turned away. So he didn’t magically change overnight.
“You aren’t thrilled to go back,” you looked at the guys.
“Yeah, I’m so freaking excited to be tested over and over again,” Hunter scowled and the others nodded.
“I want a real mission!” Wrecker hit the table with his fist. “A challenge! And blow things up.”
“What’s new?” you smiled. Maybe you were the only one to be excited to see where they grew up and were cadets.
“I suppose we have nothing else to do than set the coordinates and leave,” Tech said but he didn’t get up to actually do it.
“Can’t we just call Cid?” Wrecker pleaded. “We aren’t short on credits but I need some fun.”
“Who’s Cid?” You were pretty confused because you have never heard this name before.
“Our bounty hunter boss,” Hunter said with a smirk.
“Bounty hunter?” Nothing got clearer for you.
“How did you think we paid for nice hotels and pretty stuff?” Hunter ran his fingers through his hair.
“What pretty stuff?”
“Obviously me,” Hunter grinned and you rolled your eyes.
“Considering how much you spend on hair products it’s a miracle we aren’t out of credits yet,” Tech told Hunter who shrugged.
“Just how much is that?” you asked because you haven’t seen said hair products in the bathroom. Did he keep them in his room?
Tech said an amount that made your brows lift up so high your forehead almost disappeared. Wrecker let out a whistle.
“Alright, that,” you pointed at Hunter, “is disturbing but just tell me a little more about you being bounty hunters. Why the hell have I not heard about this before?”
“Because you didn’t need to,” Tech said. “We haven’t had a mission since you joined us. Actually we rarely have enough free time for one but Cid saves a hard one for us when we do.”
“And it’s just for the money?”
“And the fun!” Wrecker added with a grin. “But the money doesn’t hurt.”
“Being the property of Kamino doesn’t provide a financially stable life,” Tech said.
“We get accommodation,” Hunter waved at the ship, “food,” he pointed at the little kitchen where the rations were held, “and necessary equipment,” he motioned at the cupboards where the weapons were held. “That’s pretty much it. Soon after we got out of Kamino we crossed paths with Cid and started occasionally working for her. The cash is good and we don’t ask many questions.”
“And the Republic just lets it?” you asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Sweet of you to think they know,” Hunter winked at you.
“Sometimes our missions last a tad bit longer than anticipated,” Crosshair added to the conversation. “You know, complications happen all the time,” he smirked.
“You are even more unorthodox than I thought and that means a lot,” you shook your head but couldn’t say you were surprised.
“You’ll get your cut from the next mission, don’t worry,” Hunter told you with a smile playing on his lips.
“Keep it, I still get paid for being your medic,” you waved dismissively.
“I imagine that clone medics don’t receive the same treatment,” Hunter looked at you and you tilted your head.
“I don’t know. I have never considered it like this. But if not then it’s fucked up.”
“Told you we don’t have a choice,” Crosshair pushed himself away from a wall he was leaning to and took a seat. He was still paying attention not to move his right hand unnecessarily but he lifted his left one and made grabby motions at you.
You pursed your lips and didn’t say anything. “Alright, my mood is pretty much ruined, I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” you sat down in Crosshair’s lap and snuggled in. He held you tight with his left hand and buried the fingers of his right one in your hair.
You instantly felt your mood rise. Just being this close to him felt like medicine to all the problems you had. He might have felt just the same because he buried his face in your hair and inhaled deeply.
“We can always look on the bright side,” you said to change the subject. “So as it’s going to be my first visit to Kamino we could do something a little more special!”
“What did you have in mind?” Wrecker asked you with a smirk.
“Not blowing the place up,” you laughed when he pretended to be disappointed, “but maybe like a sleepover thing? You have one room, right? We could stay up and have fun.”
“I’m in,” Wrecker grinned at you and smiled excitedly. “You will probably meet 99 too!”
“Cross has already told me a lot about him,” you looked up at him but he seemed more interested in stroking your back than the conversation around him. It took your focus away from it more than a little too.
“You’ll love him,” Wrecker smiled fondly thinking about the older clone. “Can’t wait to see him again, it’s been way too long.”
“Alright then I’ll change the route to actually go Kamino's way,” Tech stood up and walked into the cockpit to pilot. Hunter joined him which left Wrecker with you and Crosshair.
Wrecker stood up and started walking to his room. “I love that you two are happy but I’m not sure I want to watch that,” he said and disappeared after picking up Gonky. So he also saw Crosshair’s wandering hand.
Crosshair started sucking on your neck and leaving marks all around it. You sighed in pleasure and leaned against him more. His hand stroked your breasts then started stroking your lower parts over your trousers. You let out a quiet whimper and he smirked against your neck.
“Cross, we are in the common room,” you told him but turned your head away to give him better access.
“And?” he asked, his lips still on your skin and you felt their movement as he spoke. “The doors are closed and we won’t reach Kamino for some more time,” he said and sank his teeth into your shoulder. You gasped and all your lower muscles clenched in pleasure.
He drove his fingers down your body and let them rest on your waist. He pulled your shirt up a little and slid his hand up inside to touch more of your skin. He started massaging your breasts and you couldn’t think of anything else just how much you wanted him.
“Maybe we can make it quick,” you whispered and positioned yourself in his lap so you could rub yourself against his hardening cock. The friction was making you go insane and you threw your head back, forgetting that it was just in front of his wounded shoulder. He winced a little and you immediately wanted to pull away and apologize but he held you tighter to him and smiled.
“I don’t mind if it hurts a little,” he purred into your ears and you got goosebumps all over your body. It sounded wrong but everything he said turned you on. It was so different from anything you’ve ever tried with anyone and he opened a thousand new possibilities for pleasure.
His hand left your breast and unbuttoned your trousers. He slid his hand in and stroked your wet pussy.
“You’re already so wet,” he let out a breath and you unconsciously pushed your hips a little closer to his fingers.
“I want you Crosshair,” you moaned quietly and he slid one finger in you as a reward. “Can’t we just go into one of the rooms?” you asked half-heartedly because you didn’t want him to stop and move. You wanted him to continue but knowing that anyone could come out and find you like this was always in your head.
He drew his finger back and you gasped at the sudden emptiness and whimpered. Why did he stop? You didn’t tell him to stop it.
“I can make this slow or quick. It’s up to you sunshine,” he murmured into your ears and you trembled. You liked it slow. It was excruciating when he teased you and built up your orgasm gradually so when it came it ripped through you like a waterfall. But if you took it slow now the chances of someone discovering you highly increased. You liked it quick too. It made your head spin and you were always ready to take him.
“Quick,” you decided and he smirked against your neck and slid two fingers inside you to praise you for your choice. You grabbed onto his thigh and let your nails sink into him as he was moving his fingers in and out of you.
The whole situation turned you on so much that you didn’t need much more fingering to feel the first signs of your orgams. He immediately pulled his fingers out and you let out an exasperated breath.
“Oh no, sunshine,” he said in a low, raspy voice, “today you are only allowed to come around my cock.”
You shivered and lifted your hips to let him pull your trousers down, only as low as absolutely needed. He quickly unbuttoned his pants and pulled out his cock. You shifted in his lap to give him space to do it and glanced down as he took it out and stroked it a few times. You gulped loudly seeing a few drops of precum already balancing on the tip of his cock.
He glanced up at you mischievously and you saw a playful spark in his eyes. He was enjoying the whole thing immensely, the fact that anyone could find you getting fucked by him, the pain that was still bolting through his shoulder and the sheer fact that you were clinging to his mouth, eager to do anything he asked from you.
“Bend forward a little for me, would you?” he asked you but didn’t wait for you to do it and placed his hand on your back and pushed you forward a little. You felt his hard cock against your bare ass and waited for him to enter your pussy and fuck you.
He waited a few seconds and just stared at you. Then he brought his thumb closer to your entrance but he didn’t reach for your cunt. He stroked your asshole.
“I think I promised that I would fuck your ass sometime,” he purred and you trembled as his thumb started circling around it.
You let out a sigh and nodded, trying to get used to the thought of him entering you there. You have never done it before but you knew that if you ever wanted to try it out with someone it would be him.
He pushed just the tip of his index finger in and you gasped as a sharp jolt of pleasure ran through your body. It was so different and exciting.
“Slowly we’ll start preparing for that one,” he pulled his finger out and shoved his cock inside your soaking wet pussy. You gasped louder than you ever intended to but he surprised you with his vehemence and the way his cock already twitched inside you and how hard he was panting against your neck you knew he was already close.
You couldn’t even recover from having been impaled by him and he was lifting you with your hips and then burying himself back into you with a feral speed.
“You are so fucking tight,” he groaned and your eyes rolled back as he started circling your clit. “That’s it,” he panted, “good girl, come for me,” he told you, pushing you over the edge and the orgasm he denied from you earlier overwhelmed you. He had to lift one hand and put it above your mouth to suppress your noises and you bit onto his fingers hard, making his cock twitch inside you.
You were trembling in pleasure and again, threw your head back, not sensing anything else beside him and your orgasm. He winced in a mixture of pain and pleasure and as your swollen pussy throbbed around his rock hard cock he couldn’t take it any longer and came in you. His cock pulsed as he climaxed and his cum spread in you. You felt even more full and he quickly pulled out and put both your trousers back just in time before the door opened and Tech walked out of the cockpit, holding his datapad and not even looking up at the two of you.
If he did he would have seen your wide eyes and open mouth and the way that you were sitting in Crosshair’s lap. But he didn’t and just told you that you would arrive soon to Kamino without ever ripping his gaze away from his device.
After Tech left Crosshair let out a soft chuckle and you exhaled the air you didn’t you were holding in.
“That was pretty fucking close.”
“I know, right?” he grinned. “Go, use the bathroom,” he nudged you but you didn’t move.
“I don’t think I can walk right now.” It was true, your legs were made of jelly and you still felt drunk on pleasure.
“Alright,” Crosshair put a toothpick in his mouth then got up with you and carried you to the bathroom. He put you down on the toilet, still clothed and waited.
You looked at him expectantly. “Don’t you want to leave?” you asked him eventually.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to pee in front of you,” you made a face and he shook his head then turned away to wash his hands.
“I think we've done far more intimate things together, don’t you think?”
You thought of his finger being up in your ass and how pleasurable it was and looked down at the floor.
“This is different,” you persisted and he sighed and left the room.
You pulled yourself together in the bathroom and tried to make yourself look a little more presentable than the just fucked girl that looked back at you from the mirror.
When you came out he was back in his seat in the common room and there was a mysterious bag in front of him on the table.
‘What’s that?” you approached him carefully. He looked up at you with a smirk and opened the bag. It was full of colourful sweets and a grin spread across your face.
“Sweets?” you asked eagerly and took a seat next to him. He looked a little disappointed that you didn’t choose his lap again but you knew where that would have led.
The corner of his lip curled and he nodded, pushing the bag toward you. “It’s yours.”
“Thank you,” you reached for it and popped one into your mouth. It was sweet and tasted like raspberries. “How come you suddenly give this to me?” you asked with a mouth full and he couldn’t help but smile watching you be this happy over sweets.
He shrugged. “Just in case.”
You grew a little wary and chewed slower. “In case of what, Cross?”
He didn’t answer but handed you another candy.
“In case you do something on Kamino that I don’t like?”
“Maybe.”
“Why isn’t it easier to just not do anything stupid, Cross?” you pointed at him with one of the sweets. “I could be mad at this shameful bribery but these are just too good.”
“I’m glad you like them.”
“Although I was told not to accept candy from creepy, old men,” you grinned evilly and he raised one eyebrow.
“Technically, I’m younger than you.”
“Universe, don’t point that out because I’m gonna feel bad,” you laughed and thought of the clones accelerated aging.
“Maybe I’m not the only one who’s creepy,” he teased and leaned closer to give you a kiss.
You giggled and kissed him back. He could taste the candy from your lips and sucked on your lower lip before pulling back.
You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face and started to sort candies by colour. “Here you go,” you pushed a pile of yellow candies in front of him.
He looked up at them and sent you a questioning look.
“Those are yours,” you told him. “Because you like sour candies and those are the lemon flavoured ones.”
A warm smile appeared on his lips as he reached for one and put it in his mouth.
“I like the red and pink ones the most anyway,” you continued and he nodded as if you were talking about a very important topic. “I haven’t tried the orange one yet but it looks like it would be between the purple and the green one.”
You started to rank the candies and even he took a few more to help you decide when you reached a tie between two.
“The yellow ones are clearly superior,” he said and put one said candy in front of the others.
“No, it’s red, pink, green and yellow,” you told him and exiled the candy behind the green and orange one.
“What’s going on here?” Wrecker and Hunter both arrived at the same time. Tech came out of his room to take over the piloting from Hunter.
“Ranking sweets,” you looked up at them for a moment and when you turned back to the table you saw that Crosshair had sneaked the yellow one back to the top.
“You have SWEETS?” Wrecker yelled and grabbed a handful of your sweets. “Why didn’t you tell us?” he looked at you with disappointment in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, I just learnt of their existence too, Wreck,” you reassured him. “Just a little something from Crosshair.”
“Is it because we’re going back to Kamino?” Hunter asked knowingly from Cross and stole a few candies from Wrecker’s hand.
“Why is Kamino such a big deal, guys?”
“Because it stinks of regs,” the sweet smile disappeared from Crosshair’s handsome face and was swapped with a scornful look.
“I don’t want you to get into a fight,” you told him and he shrugged.
“Good luck with that,” Wrecker laughed and playfully hit Crosshair’s shoulder, earning a grimace from him.
“I hope you’ll behave yourself,” you told Crosshair in a serious tone.
“Of course, just as I always do,” he smirked and you rolled your eyes.
“That’s not reassuring.”
“That’s my best offer, take it or leave it.”
“Maybe I can negotiate with you again,” you whispered into his ear after leaning closer to him.
“You can certainly try,” he smirked.
“What would it take for you to not insult one reg while we are on Kamino?”
“Brainwashing,” Hunter and Wrecker snorted.
“They are right,” Crosshair said and you shook your head.
“Just try, please,” you asked him in a serious tone. He seemed to think about it and then gave you a barely noticeable nod. You deemed it progression.
Some time later you all walked over to the cockpit and strapped yourselves in for the landing. You were about to arrive on Kamino.
You stared out at the window but couldn’t see much because of the rain. “Lovely,” you noted and Hunter nodded without much enthusiasm.
Tech landed the ship on one of the platforms and you quickly made your way inside the facility but that little time you spent outside was enough to soak your socks and leave water drops on your clothes.
Hunter shook his hair like a dog to get the water out of his glorious hair and you looked around. There wasn’t much to see, everything was white and bright. The corridor was empty and you didn’t hear a sound.
“Always nice to be greeted this warmly,” you said and Crosshair walked up next to you and put his hand around your waist.
“Just the usual,” Hunter said and started walking down the corridor. “Let’s find someone and make them get rid of Hart. I will not waste another minute on that slimebag. If Tarkin wants him, he can get him himself.” Wrecker nodded enthusiastically.
“Come,” Crosshair led you right while the others went left. You turned back to look at them.
“Aren’t we going with the guys?”
“I thought I’d give you a little tour since it’s your first time here,” he said and you smiled.
“Thank you, that’s very nice of you.” A faint smile appeared on his lips.
“This way, sunshine,” he turned right again and you were still walking down the white corridors.
“Admit it, you just forgot my name and it would be too awkward to ask it now,” you teased him.
The corner of his lips curled and he spoke your name softly. “I know it,” he said and stopped you. He put his other hand around your waist too and pulled you closer. “But you’re still my sunshine.” He kissed you until you felt dizzy and your lips were red and swollen.
After he pulled away his hand didn’t leave your lower back and he started to show the way again with a smug smirk playing on his lips. You were just trying not to trip on your own legs.
You arrived at a corridor with glass walls and you could see hundreds of computers and cadets sitting in front of them, their eyes glued to the screen.
“What are they doing?”
“Simulations, war exercises mostly.”
You walked through the corridor and a clone squad passed you. They were the first ones you saw there, shinies in their new armor and identical faces. Crosshair didn’t spare them a glance but you did. Crosshair stiffened a little next to you and you squeezed his hand.
You stopped at the next corner and turned to him. You lifted your hands and cupped his face. He closed his eyes when your fingers met his cheeks.
“Relax,” you told him. “I know that your childhood here wasn’t what you deserved. I think I have a few ideas why you act that way about them too. But you are not a little cadet anymore, Cross. Those memories don’t control you anymore. I’m here for you, always,” you kept stroking his face.
He opened his eyes slowly. You saw in them just how much your words meant to him. He pulled you closer to his body and buried his face in your hair.
“You promise?” he asked you in a low voice. He sounded younger than usual.
“I promise, Cross,” you hugged him back and stroked his back. “I’m here for you,” you repeated and he hugged you tighter. How many times did he hear comforting words like these? Who would go up to him and try talking about his feelings?
You knew the bad batch loved each other dearly but they didn’t talk much about their deepest feelings. They liked to shake them off, pretending they didn’t exist. As long as they cracked jokes everything was good, right? Right?
You recalled the morning when Crosshair told you about regs bullying him as a cadet. You asked him if he ever talked it through with someone and he said no. Maybe one day he would open up to you. You would be waiting for him.
“Always,” you whispered and he kissed your forehead tenderly. He nodded a little but you didn’t know if it was meant to you or to himself.
He held your hand and the next time you walked past a group of regs he didn’t stiffen.
He showed you all the most important places you could see through the glass walls. You saw clones in all ages, from little cadets to long limbed teenagers and young men with the first signs of a beard showing on their chin. They shared the same face but you already saw their individuality showing. Even from afar. There were well-behaved kids in nice rows marching and then two staying behind and plotting something with a mischievous grin on their faces.
You looked up at Crosshair’s handsome face and wondered what they all looked like as children. Wrecker once promised you that he would show you pictures, you would definitely ask him about them tonight.
You drank in Crosshair’s features, his long face, sharp jawline and cheeks, his strong eyebrows. You searched for similarities with the regular clones. You had to look closely but they were there. The forehead, the brows and something in the nose. You have never thought of him as a clone. To you he was just Crosshair. The soldier, the sniper, the friend and lover. You smiled to yourself when the last two came to your mind. He really was both.
When you were afraid he was the one you wanted next to you. When something funny happened your eyes went to see his reaction. You felt comfortable next to him and no matter how much you were together it wasn’t enough.
“Penny for your thoughts?” He stroked your face and you snapped back. You didn’t realize that you were just staring at him for the past couple minutes instead of the vials the clone embryos were growing in.
“I was just thinking how you’re my best friend,” you said simply and he came to a halt.
“Really?” His face was so genuinely surprised that you had to grin.
“Yeah,” you answered and stepped closer to him. “If something good happens to me I want to share it with you first. If something bad happens I would want you to be by my side. Even when we do nothing, maybe especially then, I’m just happy,” you shrugged and smiled softly. “You make me happy Crosshair,” you told him and he listened to you with wide eyes and slightly parted lips.
“Sunshine,” he whispered and bent down a little to kiss you. He brushed his lips softly against yours and murmured against them, “You make me happy too.”
You smiled into the kiss.
He continued the tour for you and told you stories about places you passed.
“See that table? That’s ours. You can see the skull and 99 carved into it from up close,” he told you when you were walking past the cantina.
“I suppose it’s Wrecker’s work,” you smiled and he nodded. You couldn’t make out the carvings on the table but you were sure he could see them clearly.
“That’s the armory me and Wrecker used to sneak in to look at all the blasters and rifles,” he pointed at a closed door. “We spent countless hours there.”
“There’s the laboratory,” he motioned at a double door. It was closed too but you hoped Tech would show you around later. “Sometimes we had to go get Tech in the middle of the night because he forgot to watch the time and fell asleep. We had to sneak him back without the kaminoans noticing because they would have punished us for violating the curfew.”
“And how did Hunter get his knives?” you asked him because you always wondered.
“He was drawn to them the way me and Wrecker toward blasters and rifles,” he shrugged. “It feels natural. At first he stole a blunt knife from the cantina and practiced with that. Then later he got his first vibroblades and there was no coming back. He still prefers them over blasters.”
“I remember him kindly suggesting to you to try getting stabbed instead of being boring and getting shot,” you smiled and he let out a chuckle.
“Way more elegant,” he quoted Hunter.
“Please don’t get stabbed.”
“I’ll try not to.”
“Thanks.”
“We are getting closer to 99’s room,” he told you and you looked up eagerly.
“I hope he’s around!”
“Let’s find out,” he led you to the end of a corridor. It was far away from the main parts of the building.
Crosshair knocked and you heard a soft, “Come in,” spoken from an elderly man’s mouth. When you entered the small room you saw the humped man and he turned to you with a warm smile on his face. You liked him instantly. But there was someone next to him…
“Fives?” you asked with a surprised face and Crosshair next to you tensed.
Fives was just as bemused as you. “What a surprise!” He smiled at you fondly and went to give you a hug. You stepped forward, ignored Crosshair and gave him a quick hug.
“What are you doing here?”
“We don’t know yet, we just arrived not long ago. And you?”
“Kamino business,” he answered and turned to 99. “I’ll leave now, I have a place to be anyway but I’ll see you soon 99,” he playfully saluted to the old man and was out of the room. But not before sending you a playful kiss in the air.
You shook your head and Crosshair cracked his knuckles.
You turned to the man who was still smiling at the two of you.
“Crosshair!” He greeted him and walked closer to him to pat his arm. That was the highest he reached him. Crosshair’s face relaxed and became softer.
“99.”
“How nice of you to come by,” the man said and looked at you. “And who do I owe the pleasure?”
“I’m Medy,” you introduced yourself and held your hand out to shake his. “I’m the latest member and medic. It’s so nice to finally meet you, I have heard so much about you!” You realized that you were shaking his hand a little too long and let go.
Crosshair stepped behind you and put his hands around your waist. 99’s eyes didn’t miss it and his smile widened.
“You don’t say, Crosshair?!”
“Meet my girlfriend,” he introduced you too and a smile spread across your face. He had never said that out loud before and it sounded lovely.
“Universe!” 99 was surprised but very pleasantly. “Come on in, I’ll make some tea,” he motioned at the small couch and you took a seat while he put on some water to boil for the tea.
“Here you go,” he handed both of you a cup and you thanked him. “Now tell me everything about yourself.” He was so eager to get to know you and asked a lot of questions. You answered all of them Crosshair was listening to you carefully too. He placed one hand on your thigh and gently stroked it sometimes.
“But enough of me, tell me about you!” you told 99. “Or about the boys!”
“They were a handful,” he laughed and even Crosshair smirked. “But they are all good men,” 99 said in a slightly more serious tone. “They have grown up to be the finest squad the Republic has ever seen,” he was visibly proud of them.
“Tell me about them as kids!” you smiled and Crosshair made a face. “How was he for example?” you nudged him.
99 laughed. “Talked a lot more. He asked a lot of questions. Not as much as Tech, of course but he was a close second. Always had bruises all over him,” Crosshair pursed his lips hearing that and you stroked his hand, knowing that the topic was a sensitive one for him. “He once ate glue.”
“What?!” you coughed and almost choked on a sip of tea. “Crosshair?” you asked him while laughing.
He shook his head and sent 99 a disapproving look. “Hunter dared me that I wouldn’t do it.”
“I can’t believe that,” you laughed with 99. “That’s not enough reason to eat glue!”
“It was,” he shrugged and couldn’t stop laughing at the image of a little Crosshair eating glue. Even if it was out of a dare.
Suddenly the door opened and the rest of the batch walked in.
“There you are!” Wrecker shouted.
“I told you they were here, it’s not like it’s a surprise,” Hunter told him, a little offended but he quickly forgot about it as they came in to greet 99.
“Lads!” he greeted them warmly and went to bring them cups too. Hunter stopped him.
“We’d love to stay 99, but we can’t, we have to go now. We’ll catch up later,” he promised and 99 nodded.
“Duty comes first!” he said. “Go, do what you have to do. It was enough for me to see that you’re all safe. And happy,” he smiled at you and Crosshair. You both got up and thanked the tea. 99 just waved.
“Come whenever you want to! I hope to see the lovely lady more,” he winked at Crosshair who smiled.
“You will,” he answered and put his hand around your waist.
“It was nice meeting you,” you bowed your head before 99. He was such a lovely man, you instantly loved him. You were grateful that your boys had him growing up.
The boys exchanged a few words with 99 before you left.
“He really is lovely,” you told them and Wrecker nodded enthusiastically. “And what’s the hurry?”
“They called us in,” Hunter scowled and even Wrecker looked less enthusiastic.
“Tests?” you asked and Tech nodded.
“A new one. They are going to compete us against regular clones in both physical and mental exercises.”
“That’s just great,” Crosshair grimaced and you squeezed his arm to reassure him.
“Why? Don’t they already have enough data?”
“Not of this age,” Tech answered. “Tests need to be repeated in a given period of time to get reliable results in the long run.”
“I see,” you said. “Then I’ll probably won’t go with you.”
“Lucky you,” Wrecker murmured. “I’m gonna die of boredom,” he sighed.
“What are you going to do while we are away?” Tech asked you and you shrugged.
“Dunno yet. Maybe I’ll look for Fives and the 501st.”
Crosshair tensed next to you and you sent him a warning look. “I don’t like that,'' he said.
“And I didn’t ask if you did,” you answered.
“I can’t leave you alone with him.”
“And why is that? Your fragile ego?” you snapped back at him and a shadow passed his face and you bit your inner lip. Maybe that was a little too much.
“Does he know about us?” he asked after a few seconds of silence.
You thought about it for a few seconds. Did he? “I’m not sure. I don’t think so,” you answered and he shook his head with a disapproving face.
“Is there a reason why not?”
“Universe, Crosshair, it’s probably because I spend every waking moment with you but barely see him enough to say hi not to catch up with our lives.”
It wasn’t enough explanation for him and he pursed his lips. “I don’t like it,” he repeated.
“And I don’t care,” you answered vehemently. The others started to feel awkward having to listen to you two argue.
“Your safety is more important,” Crosshair said and you snorted.
“What safety? I’m in one of the most protected Republic facilities with thousands of soldiers around me. I think I’m quite safe, thank you.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“You think Fives would force me to do anything?” you laughed at the absurdity of it. “That’s bullshit.”
“You don’t know what they are capable of,” Crosshair’s eyes darkened and you were a little taken aback.
“I promise I will kick him in the balls if he tries. But he won’t. I talked with him earlier. There’s nothing between him and me. We’re just friends, just like we were for 99% of our time knowing each other.
Crosshair still wasn't convinced but you arrived before the room they needed to be and he ran out of time.
“Bye, have a good test,” you waved at them and quickly disappeared. Luckily Crosshair told you where to find their barrack so you knew where you were in the building. But you didn’t yet want to go back so instead you stopped a group of shinies and asked where the 501st was.
They helped you out eagerly and told you where you would find them. You got lost a few times until you got there. You took some wrong turns but the corridors all looked the same to you.
When you found the rooms you were looking for you only ran into three of the dominos. Hevy, Droidbait and Cutup. They were more than happy to see you and they told you that the others were there too but they were on guard duty until midnight.
You spent the rest of the afternoon with them and listened to the stories they collected since the last time you saw them. Of course General Skywalker and his young padawan didn’t get less reckless but maybe that’s why they worked so well with the boys of the 501st.
“I can’t believe how they could give this man a padawan,” you laughed. “He still seems like a kid!”
They laughed with you and told you how the 212th didn’t have it easier because General Kenobi was always dropping his lightsaber and Cody had to add a lightsaber holder to his armor to have a place to keep it until he could return the weapon to the jedi.
“Also I heard that Boil and Waxer adopted a little twi’lek girl on one of their missions,” Hevy told you and you pulled the rest of the story out of him.
The boys even gave you dinner but after you finished eating you said goodbye. The batch were probably done with their tests and you wanted to get back to them. Also you knew that you needed time to find your way back there.
You walked out of their room and the moment you closed the door you saw Crosshair push himself away from the wall he was leaning to. He took the toothpick out of his mouth and flicked it on the floor then stepped closer to you.
“Crosshair?” you asked, a little confused about why he was there. “What are you doing here?”
He pulled you into his arms and buried his face in your hair, inhaling the smell of it deeply. You hugged him back. It was only a couple hours spent away from him but you missed him too.
“Just wanted to make sure nothing happens to you.”
“Don’t be silly, you knew nothing was gonna happen.”
He broke away and looked into your eyes. You realized that he was tired.
“No, you don’t know them the way I do,” he said with some anger in his voice.
You didn’t break away your gaze from his eyes. “Then tell me, Crosshair. Because this jealousy is getting out of hand. You need to trust me.”
He looked a little taken aback. “Of course I trust you,” he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world, “I don’t trust them.”
“Why Crosshair?” you asked again. “All I see is that you’re not yourself when you’re close to them,” you lifted your hand and stroked his cheek. “This is the Crosshair that I know,” you stroked his lips with the tip of your index finger. “You are caring and playful. With me and with your brothers. But when regular clones come up it’s like you disappear behind this stubborn angry little kid.”
He scowled then took a deep breath. “I told you that it was not easy for us here on Kamino. After some time we learnt how to avoid them but before that? Before we knew better? You know what they did to Tech? They got to him, took his goggles and stepped on it. They just left him there,” he shook his head. “I had to find them. It wasn’t easy but I did and they didn’t walk away as happily,” he smirked darkly. “And to Hunter? You know there’s that whistle they use on dogs. Well, Hunter’s ears are very sensitive to it. We couldn’t even report it because no one else heard a thing. And Wrecker? You know how much he loves that tooka doll. One day when we got back to our barracks it was torn apart, it’s pieces thrown away in the whole room. He was devastated.”
You listened to him with a painful look on your face. It hurt to hear how they were treated. And for what? Being different? You didn’t think they could act like that. That’s not how you knew the clones.
“And you?” you asked quietly. He smiled without any glee.
“I didn’t have a precious plush, my vision was perfect, I didn’t need glasses. My hearing didn’t have a weakness. But they found mine,” he pursed his lips. “They found us when we were working late in the laboratory. They held me but didn’t punch me. They hit Tech instead, mocking me that I can’t help him.”
You gasped. It can’t be, they can’t be like that. But you believed Crosshair.
“If they were like that to us, why wouldn’t they do it to you? Now you’re one of us. And I can’t let that happen. I know better now. They wouldn’t walk away alive.”
“But the ones I’m friends with wouldn’t do such things,” you lowered your head, thinking of your friends.
“They are the same as the ones who did that to us.”
“You are wrong about that,” you looked up to his face. “I’m not going to defend those clones who bullied you. They don’t deserve anything. But you’re wrong about all of them being the same. They are not. They are all different and I know that they aren’t all like that.”
“I’ll never forgive them for making my brothers’ cadet life miserable,” he said.
“I’m not asking you that. All I’m asking you is to consider the fact that they are different people. There are aggressive, bullying ones but so many of them are good people, Cross. You would get on well if you ever tried seeing them for who they are and not who you think they are.”
He shook his head. “I’m not sure I can do that.”
You knew it was hard for him. To see your childhood bullies face around you wherever you went. When did they ever feel safe? Especially as cadets when they were yet to master their abilities. Later you knew that Hunter learnt how to read them and dodge their punches. Wrecker just grew up and his brute strength was enough to keep them away. Tech was usually with Cross and he must have protected him. They slowly forgot about the bullying and moved on. But not Crosshair.
“Maybe you can try. For me?” you asked him and he hesitated. “Please?” you stroked his cheek again and he closed his eyes and nodded once.
Then he opened his eyes. “Will you tell Fives about us?” he asked cautiously.
“Of course I will,” you kept stroking his cheek, feeling his stubble. “I just haven’t had the opportunity yet. If it was for me I would tell the whole army that I’m yours. The whole galaxy,” you smiled. “I don’t ever want to belong to anyone else.”
His eyes melted and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead before placing his forehead against yours.
“You really are my sunshine, you know that right?”
You smiled and kissed him softly.
“How was the test?” you asked him as you were walking back to their barrack.
“I felt like a lab rat,” he scowled. “But all of our results were better than the regs’,” he smirked and you sent him a slightly disapproving look. He really was better but he didn’t have to act so smug about it. “How was your afternoon?” You knew it cost him to ask about the 501st but you appreciated that he did.
“It was nice. I met three members of the domino squad and we chatted then ate dinner.”
“Who were the ones there?” You knew that he only met Echo and Fives so he was asking whether they were there.
“Just Hevy, Droidbate and Cutup,” you looked up at him and saw him battle with wanting to make fun of their names and making you happy with shutting up. The second won and he just gave a small nod.
“I see. Did you have a good time?” he asked instead. You squeezed his hand, inaudibly thanking him for making an effort.
“I did, they told me a lot of stories.”
You arrived back at their room and Crosshair opened the door for you and let you in first.
You walked in and immediately recognised it from the night he told you what it looked like. Quite spacious, four beds on two sides of the room and a huge window with a couch under it. There was a table hidden under their stuff in the middle.
You walked over to Crosshair’s bed and sat down. You glanced at the target practices he brought back and used as decoration.
“You carved your initial in that one?” you smiled at the poster in the middle. He shot it so many times and so precisely that it made out a C.
He nodded then sat down next to you and pulled you closer.
“Thank you for opening up to me earlier. Means a lot to me,” you told him.
He tensed a little but answered quietly, “It means a lot to me too.”
“I want to know you, Cross. Everything about you,” you looked up at his face and smiled softly at him. He was listening to you with a very genuine face and slightly widened eyes.
“You want to know me?” he asked in a low voice without blinking and you nodded.
“Everything.”
He lifted one hand to stroke your cheek and answered in mando’a. “Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum.”
You smiled at the strange words that had no meaning for you. His voice made the strong syllables sound soft and you wanted to listen to him speak mando’a for the rest of your life.
“What does it mean?” you smiled and held your cheeks even closer to his hand. You closed your eyes as he kept stroking it gently.
“The mirror translation is that I will know you forever,” he said in a raspy voice and when you opened your eyes you saw that his eyes were full of emotions. You didn’t know why it meant so much to him but it was a beautiful expression and you tried repeating it. Your weak try made him smile, that rare genuine smile that you loved so much, the one that lit up his whole face and made him look perfectly at ease.
You quickly gave up on trying to pronounce the foreign words so you stayed with the translation. “I will know you forever,” you told him and he kissed you with a never experienced worship and tenderness.
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