#He's definitely had it rough the past 10 years or so omg

[blazingstaro]

DotS Character Facts— Magolor

The mysterious mage Magolor! He's incredibly talented in both mechanics and mystical arcane, but is also a skilled businessman in his own right with his winning smile and profound customer service skills. While he does have a bit of an ego, he's got himself a heart of gold. He's just not terribly open about it; being overly cautious about being taken advantage of. (Ironic, I know)

Magolor is quite friendly and enjoys making friends, but he's also incredibly reserved about himself personally. People are mostly acquainted with his real chipper and upbeat persona, which is indeed a part of himself, but not all of his personality. To actually get him to show his sincere, raw self, is a deep show of trust on his part. Nevertheless reveal even a morsel about his life story. He's prone to being vague if pressured enough to share something about himself.

He's one of a handful left of his species, and so is careful about showing his true face to anyone. Mags was raised to protect his identity in order to survive. Though as he came into his young adulthood, he began to embrace himself more and flaunt his skills, realizing that his rarity made him practically unknown to the universe. Still, disguising his full appearance is a habit he's yet to break. He certainly adores showing off his people's traditional wear and gear-symbolism, though.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Magolor's story so far:

From his earliest days, he lived in two homes between his parents. This was mainly due to his father bouncing between his wife's apartment on her homeworld, and his workplace off-world. Magolor himself is the spitting image of his father, taking strongly after him in many aspects— most notably his cheerful nature and magical potency.

Though as he came into his preteens, he stayed predominantly with his mother, who grew distrustful of her husband's employer. Caught between a rock and a hard place, she thought it would be better to keep Magolor safe with her, in greater fear of that boss' influence on her son. Mags' father could visit of course, and take him on adventures, so the little family's relationship remained strong and tight.

It was around when he turned 13 when things started to get rough. A certain adversary of the family discovered the lad's identity. In desperation to escape, and a bit of shenanigans, the teenage mage ended up spirited away to the desolate land of Halcandra.

He spent several years surviving on his lonesome on the remains of Halcandra. There, he learned much about its history through an old book he found among the Egg Engine region— where he made his main place of residence while searching for a way to escape. He picked up some unique, forgotten spells, and worked to hone his magic to a sharp, nearly terrifying level.

Along the way, he discovered the legendary Lor Starcutter, which became his ultimate hope to return home; and, perhaps, achieve a greater goal with some upgrades to its weaponry. The Master Crown was tempting to take a shot at, but the embrace of his parents and a hot shower sounded better at the moment.

Using his talent, and many skills learned from his mother, he managed to bring the Lor back to life, and set a course back home— first to his father to show off his AMAZING new ride, knowing his father would recognize the magnificent vessel.

His return was awesome indeed; however it was short lived. Once a certain someone became aware that he knew the location of the most powerful magical artifact in the known universe, he realized that he unintentionally put it in danger of it falling into the wrong hands. Hands... that weren't his own!

The ambitious young man went off to claim the crown for himself to spite his competition. He aimed to be there first, get it first, and use the Master Crown to achieve his own personal agenda. Of course we all know that backfired and then some.

Yeah, that wasn't exactly the smartest move, buddy.

So he spent about 4 years at his humble little Shoppe in the Dream Kingdom, amassing a small fortune with plans to eventually return to Popstar, now that he had acquired the power to transcend entire realities. That, and he had a lot of strength to recover from his ventures in the Dimensional Abyss.

While living in the kingdom, he did well to hone his new magical skills, as well picked up sword lessons from local masters. Though he regularly trained for 4 years, he's not too shabby— swordplay is clearly not his forte, but he has enough skill to get by in a pinch. He became a pretty solid fighter, thanks to frequent monster attacks while searching for materials to make new armor and weapons for Kirby & co.

Just a few months before the events of DotS:MMM, he made his trip back to Popstar, and went on a little quest to find his friends and earn a chance from each one to earn their trust back.

Their reactions were pretty... varied. But every single one gave him a chance in their own way.

Except for one friend: Rovy Zeidric (he belongs to @starlightfyre). He helped Magolor repair the Lor while Kirby and friends went after the big parts, so the two were quite familiar with each other. Rovy was a new employee under Meta Knight's engineering crew, and knowing his talents with exotic machines, he assigned Rovy to assist Magolor— but also keep an eye on him. Of course out of them all, Rovy took Magolor's betrayal the hardest.

To this day, Magolor is trying his best to earn a chance with Rovy and be his friend again. It hasn't gone terribly well, since Rovy's busy and, quite frankly, a little too petty at the moment to let him in. Though Rovy would never admit that he's being petty at this point.

In recent times, he's come to hold some precious knowledge, which he keeps close to his chest. There's some things Magolor is aware of that the citizens of Town Town, his new residence, couldn't hope to fathom.

Regardless, he's happily running his theme park while coming to Kirby's aid whenever he needs an extra friend. He certainly jumped to the cause once again just a month or so before DotS' main events, when the Jambastians caused a bit of trouble with their Jamba heart shards possessing certain folks around Popstar.

He used his ability to transcend realities to bring in dream friends and help Kirby, nevertheless the Lor to pick up other far-flung allies, such as Susie (much to his chagrin).

There's plenty more to discover about Magolor in DotS:MMM and Dreams of the Stars, where he unsuspectingly plays an important role...

#magolor #dots comic #kirby series #kirby #dreams of the stars #hoshi no kaabii #lore time #lore dump #oh boy lore time #magolor epilogue #long post #I don't cover much of his history in DotS so I thought I should here! #There's important details that I purposefully left out but the rest of it is in gist #He's definitely had it rough the past 10 years or so omg #he's around Rovy and Fumu's age by the way!

[shitpostingsystem]

bsd ramblings (season 3 and 4)

“is there really any value to this thing we call living?” dazai’s a mood

KID DAZAI AND CHUUYA OMFGOMFG

“what kind of suicidal punk are you” — chuuya to his future husband 

omg i love the sillies

mori sounds like the kurzgesagt dude ngl

THEY HATE EACH OTHER OMG THEYRE SO IN LOVE

THE  B A N T E R

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

chuuya being a shortie is so fun. “i’m still growing” growing my ass just kiss dazai already 

THE ODA PARALLELS AAAAAAAAAAAAA

dazai you autistic motherfucker 

chuuya being a gang leader is fun

dazai is my silly

wait so chuuya’s technically 7 years younger than he actually is? 

gravity boi x suicidal manic, my favorite ship dynamic 

THE BABIS ARE SKKING THE BABIS ARE SKKING THEYRE DOUBLE BLACK WKEHRUEHUFUEBDHDHSBEH

when are dazai and chuuya gonna kiss dammit

THE SILLIES ARE BANTERING JEUDHWHSUHE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

WHY IS DOSTOYEVSKY SO FINE

dostoyevsky is so silly

i am in dire need of more pm dazai. i need it all. i need more. i crave my husband’s past life. i need to see him and chuuya kiss while wiping out their enemies. 

i can’t wait to write fanfic once i finish this show. i don’t wanna screw up anything canon wise so i’ll wait. i’ll watch all of the show plus the spin-off to get all the dazai i can. i’ve already pirated the movie, nothing can stop me now. 

dazai is a slut and i love him for it. this is actually canon (at least during his pm years he was) 

dazai x kunikida x chuuya

kyouka is my child, i love her so much 

I HATE FANSERVICE. I THOUGHT BSD WOULD BE THE GOOD ANIME WITHOUT IT

KYOUKA MY BABY IM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS I LOVE HERRRRR

power of money?? real american o7 yeehaw capitalism 

bro just walked into someone’s home, sat down, and started laughing

“black daniels” HEY THATS JACK DANIELS

“hey poe!! it’s so nice to see you!!” JUST KISS ALREADY YOU TWO

the random ass fish-eye cuts in this show 😭😭

“OBJECTION!!” what is this, ace attorney???

i love how the superhumans are called gifteds, implying they’ve taken at least one honors/ap course. by that logic, i’m extra gifted (im in honors history and english) 

i haven’t seen dazai in a while wtf. where’s my husband?? i’ve barely seen kunikida, let alone chuuya. ok he’s here rn, prob won’t be for long 

ok but seriously mori is a pedo. elise is getting used even though she’s a fucking brat who gets what she wants

oh shit they got blew up

nvm 

DID AKUTAGAWA JUST NARUTO RUN

oh shit i forgot the catholic existed. puritan, whatever. same difference, both are culty at times

FUCK MORI. THAT FUCKING PEDO.

i think what i love about bsd is that the characters are complex. dazai can be considered a serial killer and definitely bad mentor to akutagawa but an amazing mentor to atsushi and is my husband

i love dostoyevsky’s english va. they did such an amazing job. 100/10 russian accent 

MY HUSBAND GOT SHOT OMGOMGOMG MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYY

HI CHUUYA I MISSED YOU. AKUTAGAWA TOO HI HELLO 

RANPO <33 MY SILLY GETTING SERIOUS OOOOOO

HI KENJI IT’S BEEN SO LONG I HAVENT SEEN YOU

CHUUYA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

virus cannibalism my favorite /j

kunikida has tear gas powers? what is he, a cop???

oh noooo a kid got shotttttt how terribleeeeee  /s

THE SAD AF MUSIC I CANT WHY IS THERE A CELLO HERE

oh that’s why, dostoyevsky has one

I LOVE GIN <33

kenji the silly!! 

“aren’t you the one who lost to dazai?” RANPO RUBBING THE WOUND IN DAMN

the music is autism frfr

KARL <333333

“if ranpo really were to die in that world though, what would i do with myself?” — edgar allen poe

katai’s dead? damn. rip ig

oh shit here’s the bowl cut lemon dude

the office girls are dating 

damn fukuzawa and mori had a past together

WHY DOES NATSUME LOOK LIKE WALMART HITLER 

dazai making his kids work together is gold

“what did you have for dinner last night?” “yes” GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

the classical music omg 

“you’re quite the rough ride, yknow” that’s what she said

“enough, you’re not paying for this ride” that’s what she said

incel (katai) isn’t dead 

i love how dazai is the mafia boss in a different timeline 

akutagawa and atsushi are so down bad for each other omg

my native english speaking ass hears theodore instead of fyodor. i’m pretty sure it’s the same but different languages but still 

dazai <3

ranpo <3

BAR LUPIN BAR LUPIN WJSBAJBSKWUSMSIMSJDBHSJSHSHS IM GONNA CRY 

wait so season 4 is fukazawa focused? dammit i wanted more dazai

HI RANPO MY SCRUNGO HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI

i fucking love ranpo. the silly 

he’s such a brat. good for him 

IS THERE A CULT????? LOWKEY LOOKS LIKE CHRISTIANITY ON STEROIDS 

oh it’s the play 

“there something everyone else gets and i don’t get it” RANPO MY AUTISTIC SCRUNGO <33 

ranpo my silly <33

honestly i keep forgetting they’re detectives

ranpo has adhd and autism 

ranpo got fucking bitch slapped i love him 

“as always, i have a hard time saying no to ranpo” ITS BECAUSE YOURE GAY POE

“but i got to see your rare, exasperated face so it was well worth the money!” poe you homosexual 

“are you that detective’s fanboy or something?” “no i’m his rival!” how about boyfriend? 

i fucking love ranpo omg 

NIKOLAI IS SO SILLY 

why can i handle anime gore but not irl organs omg

my gore levels are weird. organs and bodily fluids (beside blood) are a no-go but i can see a dead body no problem 

when did atsushi become op

“a total of 625 charges…” MY BABY GETTING ARRESTED NOOO

GOD I FUCKING LOVE NIKOLAI

wait so the ada is a front? wtf??

i’m so confused wtf is going on

the decay of angels would be a cool ass band name

ok so moot says ada is innocent and shit like that. i trust them.

teruko is my child 

everyone’s a shitty person i love them

HI CHUUYA OMG I MISSED YOU SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAA

why chuuya kinda 😳😳

kunikida has ocd (i’m not projecting wdymmm) 

“i won’t let anyone mess up my schedule!” whole mood and a half there kunikida

WHY DOES THE FANDOM IGNORE KUNIKIDA BEING AN IDEALIST OMG

dazai <33333333333333333333

dazai and dostoyevsky are besties fuck you

“she’s so strong-willed! i love it!” MORI YOU PEDO

“Dazai is a good person SOMETIMES! But he’s also a criminal who has done fucked up shit! And he has a personality! He’s really smart! And lowkey manipulative to get what he wants! He’s not amazing!” my moot gets it!! 

morally dubious characters <33

i love yosano so much 

HI ANGO

i love lucy 

sticking out your gyatt for the rizzlerrr you’re so skibidiiiiiiii you’re so fanum taxxxxxx i just wanna be your SIGMAAAAAAAAAAA

sigma is so silly. i love him

dazai is a weezer fan

chuuya is a nirvana fan 

i’m terrible with names so i’m like “oh damn That Dude” both fictional and irl. like atsushi was Terrible Bang Traumatized Furry until i got his name 

i don’t even read omegaverse but every time they say sigma i cringe 

sigma has amnesia?? mood

bro’s a fictional character within a world of fictional characters 

dostoyevsky <3333

sigma named himself??? nah don’t even he was born with an ao3 account 

i don’t know shit about cosmetology but if i got ahold of sigma i would fix his hair

oh hey catholic scarlet letter man

if my beautician aunt saw atsushi and sigma she would take them out of the show, fix their hair, beat them up, and put them back as changed men 

I LOVE DAZAI OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHEN HIS VOICE GETS SUPER LOW AND AKENSISBIZHWHXHWBZUWBZIBQIXHWNXHD

WHERE THE HELL IS CHUUYA OMFG 

#bsd #shitpost

[theteasetwrites]

Who’s more jealous? Daryl or the Reader?

(In the Beginning series ofc)

Love your works! 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Ooo that’s an interesting question!

Well so far we have only really seen Daryl being jealous (see the Jerome chapters in season 4 lol), and that was interesting because I got to play around with how I think he would show his jealousy. I think he is more insecure in his jealousy. He felt threatened by Jerome, who seemed so much more “handsome” and put together than Daryl (in his mind), and also there’s the protective element—he knew that Jerome hurt her in the past and he doesn’t want her to ever feel like that again. I really loved those chapters because I think it strengthened their relationship and showed how over the year or so they had known each other, Reader had confided in Daryl about how Jerome treated her. I think that really exacerbated Daryl’s hostility towards Jerome, and he saw him as a threat not only to his relationship, but to Reader.

On the other hand, we haven’t really gotten a chance to see Reader’s jealousy yet. I mean, I’ve hinted at it a little. For example, I tried to imply that Reader is subconsciously a little jealous of the way Daryl treats Carol in season 10, though her jealousy in this instance is complicated. It’s not romantic jealousy per se, since she knows that Daryl and Carol see each other purely as friends, but she’s jealous of how Daryl is putting Carol before his family, in her eyes. She also probably felt a little neglected romantically because he was so worried about caring for a different woman, and maybe that triggered her jealousy too. If Carol were a man, she might not have been as jealous. It’s sort of just how the mind works I think. Seeing your SO spend more time with someone of the same sex as you can be a little worrisome, even if it’s just a friend.

I’ve also mentioned how Reader has insecurity issues (mostly stemming from her relationship with Jerome, who cheated on her). She has expressed concern that Daryl would “get tired” of her, move onto another woman, or realize that she’s not compatible with him. I think something I really want to explore soon (in a oneshot, not the main series) is Reader’s jealous side, with a woman coming into the series who is much more “compatible” with Daryl than she is. I’ve always written Reader to be very different from Daryl in several ways. She’s softer, more sensitive and stereotypically feminine. She knows how to fight out of necessity, but she much prefers “domestic” life and being inside the walls, safe and comfortable in her own home (she’s such a cancer omg). I want to bring in a woman who is much more “tough” and rough around the edges like Daryl, maybe she hunts and bonds over that with him, which makes Reader very jealous and insecure because she can’t bond over things like that with Daryl, and she thinks Daryl would much rather have a woman like that, not some “housewife”. But then, of course, Daryl reminds her that they have other things in common (loyalty, love of family, hope for the future, sympathy for the “weak,” etc.), and that he loves everything about her. He loves learning about things she likes and seeing her face light up when she talks about art and books and fashion and weird movies he’s never heard… It doesn’t matter that they’re so different on the surface—on the inside, they share the same dream.

Okay as usual I got side-tracked lol. ANYWAY, basically I do think they both tend to get jealous because they both have insecurities (another thing they have in common lol), but I am not sure which one I would say gets more jealous. For now, I will say Daryl is the one more prone to jealousy simply because we’ve actually had a concrete instance of his jealousy, but Reader? Well, she definitely has a jealous side we haven’t seen… yet. 😌

[soupbabe]

Heard you wanted to be spammed with requests-

So uh- Idk if you do platonic headcanons but- maybe platonic Stardust crusaders with a pillar crusader? Doesn't matter what,,, gender the bby pillar person is,,, just,,, sweet pillar babe who's tall af- and totally acts like a doofus at times---

You dont have to do this tho uvu

Stardust Crusaders + Pillarman! Reader HCs

It says Pillar*man* in title, but reader will be gender neutral, I think that's just the species (?) name! Also I like doing platonic requests so I don't mind doing this at all ! <3

Joseph Joestar

He met you around the time he met Santana

You were stuck in the same Pillar as the youngest pillarman, also playing the role of a guard dog before you were turned into stone

The main difference between you and your (uh forced adopted?) brother is that your face broke out in a huge smile and giggles filled the room when he booped your nose and told you to be happy

You were loyal to Kars, but throughout the time in Battle Tendency that decreased due to the realization that he never cared about you and did abandon you without thought

Joseph was there to comfort you through it and you helped in defeating Kars in return

After BT, you were sent to be studied at the Speedwagon Foundation and years later they were able to replicate the red stone of Aja for you

Ultimate Y/N ! Ultimate Y/N !

Sunburn no more

You became a nature deity, similar to Kars

First thing you did when the study was done was prank Joseph into thinking that the Ultimate Lifeform came back

Although it didn't work all too well, your forced down smile and stifled giggles definitely wasn't a sign of Kars, despite the mighty wings you sprouted

You lived with Suzi Q and Joseph for the majority of your new life and you adored being apart of their lives

Also they did make you babysit Holly numerous times even though you had no idea what a human baby looked like until now

Should've learned their lesson when one time you were caught making a rough sketch of what would have been a traditional pillarman tattoo on a 10 year old Holly, claiming that it's needed for her to grow up big and strong like you

Although you weren't a stand user, you had experience fighting ancient supernatural beings stronger than some stand users and you were a deity among men. Joseph didn't wait to take you with him when he found out that Dio was making a return

When Holly got sick and it was clear the crusaders had to go to Egypt, you didn't hesitate to sign up. It was a rare time that you were serious and your loyalty to your aged best friend shined through. You loved his family and you saw Holly grow up, of course you'd be there for him

Throughout SDC, you mostly just laughed at him (mostly during the fight with Mariah) and cracked jokes with him to ease tense situations

Also that bit at the end of the show where he pretended that Dio possessed his body?? He got that from you and you both laughed while Jotaro gave you both a glare

Iggy

Oh my god you barked back.

Y'all gossip with each other in dog, you're a nature deity, of course you can understand him perfectly

Added bonus of your powers is that he naturally relaxes with you

Sleepy gremlin

Jotaro Kujo

It took him a while to warm up to you

You were raised by Kars and Esidisi, dealing people who come off as cold and have occasional outbursts of anger come natural to you

He first doesn't think of you as anything when he first saw you

It wasn't until you sized him up, easily towering over the 6'5" teen, his eyes widened in astonishment a little

He has no problems with you, you're respectful to his mother and you respect his privacy for the most part

You're real bonding moment was when you made a lame, but fairfly obscure, fish pun when beating up the stand user of Dark Blue Moon

You both talked about marine life, he was genuinely interested in your experiences with ancient marine species and types of life before evolution made them what they were today

Although he doesn't like the happy go lucky types of people (they remind him of his annoying fangirls) you'll be the exception

A moment you both really became friends was in the Steely Dan fight

You shot your hand up in excitement, offering to aid in beating the hell out of the cocky bastard that mistreated Jotaro and Joseph

It was a good moment for you both to have light hearted banter and you ended the fight with a smile and a high five

Although persuading Joot to do the high five went more like: "Jotaro please" "No." "Pleassseeeeeee" "*sigh* Leave me alone after this."

I thank that you can't see stands. I can only imagine the endless lighthearted fights you and Star Platinum would have, you both giving each other proud smiles of how strong your friend has become

Noriaki Kakyoin

You gave a welcoming and cheerful aura when he woke up at the Kujo household

Out of all Crusaders, I do like to think that you would think of Kakyoin as more of a little brother

Probably because you miss Santana a bit tbh, red hair and a more reserved personality?? Easy for that to happen

Although you do make sure to keep that distinction between the two separate beings, gotta be healthy bby

You were one to always encourage him to get more out of his shell and be the friend he deserved

He would encourage you to speak about Pillarman society/culture when you both roomed together

One time you pranked him by giving him a handful cherries and giving him a tiny jumpscare when the cherries actually did turn back into your hand

Sometimes you both make fun of Polnareff together </3

Jean-Pierre Polnareff

,,,,big tall gentle giant? Oh my god he would've melted for you at first

He flirted with you first thing after the fight with Avdol, only to be immediately shut down with your laughter

It's not the first time someone hit on you, but his attempt was so cheesy and bad that it was funny

Don't worry he didn't keep on flirting with you though, it was clear that you weren't interested

That and you told him that you were over 1000 years old

You both were outgoing so it wasn't a big surprise that you two got along so well

He actually enjoys your tales of past fights and how it was like not being able to be in the sun for the longest time

That and he asked for hair care tips, your hair is very beautiful to him and to keep it as such even when you were turned to stone? Impressive

You both are dumbasses together, but you're the one to save his ass all the time

Especially during the first fight with Hol Horse, guns can't kill you and even then your skin can create a harsh shell to soften the blow

You just laughed it off, said that it tickled, and encouraged Polnareff to chase after the (now) frightened cowboy

You and Polnareff also have a lot in common too and you both are able to be for each other when it comes to Polnareff's grief over his sister and you technically being the only pillarman alive

Omg Y/N I can't believe you have yourself an emotional support himbo I'm jealous

You're also a wingman/wingwoman for him, years and years of experience (and using Joseph in his younger years as a "what not to do" reference) led you to being the perfect helper in getting whoever Polnareff wants

Muhammad Avdol

He's read about the Pillarmen, but he never thought that they were actually real

So when he met you he was flabbergasted

You and Avdol's friendship is like him unintentionally parenting a 7 foot 5 year old on one of those kid leashes

He knows that almost nothing can cause you great harm, but he still worries

Because of that his favorite form of hanging out with you involves chatting over tea or showing you foods you might not be aware of

In all honesty, it's greatly appreciated since your diet switched from vampires and humans to absorbing like 2-3 raw cows every other week. Your "palate" is not as expansive as you may think

While in India, you were able to buy some Henna and Avdol was very open to you giving him a mock Pillar tattoo

He wore it with pride and was very greatful

Sometimes when he gets homesick you make your arm into a chicken, and although it isn't the real thing, he appreciates it

You also show him ancient Pillar rituals too and it's his favorite thing to listen to

In return, you bother him to show you how to read tarot and tell him about (in your words) "occult business~"

You balance each other out and Avdol cherishes you greatly

When the mission to Egypt was over, he did name a chicken after you btw

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba part 3 #jojos bizzare adventure stardust crusaders #jjba x reader #stardust crusaders headcanons #stardust crusaders x reader #Joseph Joestar x reader #jotaro kujo x reader #jean pierre polnareff x reader #noriaki kakyoin x reader #muhammad avdol x reader #platonic x reader #platonic headcanons

[chrisevansmaid]

Virginal

Summary: You go to a beach town in search of losing your virginity. The server at dinner is extra cute but it's also young Chris evans.

*this pic is from chris’s twitter*

MUST BE 18+!!!!

I see everyone saying this, so 18+ pleaseeeee. Begoneeeee youngins

Pairing: Chris Evans x female!reader, Young!Chris Evans x minor!reader, (Name inserted but you can switch it to yours)

Word Count: 3393

Perspective: Reader

Warnings: SMUTTT, p in v, mentions of smoking weed / dab pen, oral sex (female receiving), FLUFF AND ANGST, high sex, lowkey rough sex, dirty talk, degrading dirty talk, EXPLICIT sexual content, age gap, minor having sex with non-minor (17F with 20M), 

Authors note: 

FIRST FIC YAY!!!!!! Don't be mean pls <3.

I’m really bad at tenses so if it keeps switching from present to past tense sorry. The only grammar corrector I’m using is grammarly so if something doesn’t make sense oopsie, I’m too lazy from spending a while on this fic to go anal and analyze every sentence for errors. 

Okay so… I’m a pisces which basically means I can never stop daydreaming. Also the backstory is lowkey gonna be my backstory lol. This is how I wished I lost my virginity plus make it Chris evans.

*THIS IS NOT BASED OFF OF CHRIS ITS FULLY FROM MY IMAGINATION* 

Idk I'm bored and it's summer so I have nothing to do. YES THIS IS ABOUT A MINOR BUT IN MY STATE THE AGE OF CONSENT IS 16 SO CHILL.

18+ PLEASE STOP READING NOW IF YOU ARE A MINOR

So I’m a virgin. Not because I am a prude or anything, but it never worked. I like to self diagnose so my conclusion is I have vaginismus. That is basically rolled into my cervix/vagina clenches up whenever I try to have sex so no dick fits in and if anything does fit it's incredibly painful. It's not a matter of being turned on cus I could have Niagara Falls in my panties and it still wouldn’t work, trust me. Even being fingered was awful and I’ve been fingered like 10 times and none of them were enjoyable. My sister says I’m just really tight. Idk. I can finger myself and it's good-ish, I mean how far up can you reach with your own hand? 

But I’ve had enough of being a virgin and I just want someone to blow my back out. Preferably some sexy older guy. And because I’m sick and tired of having an untapped pussy I’ve devised a plan. I am going to the beach in a week or so and I am going to find the guy who I had my first kiss with and have him fuck me. Or some other hot guy I meet. But to make sure my inhibitions are lowered and my vagina doesn’t clench from nerves I am gonna get a little high before. 

1 week later.

My mom, stepdad, and I arrive at the beach and it is so pretty. I love this beach. It brings back so many good memories. I am rooming with my childhood friend, Sarah, and she knows I want to get fucked. We’ve snuck out before and we are so excited for this week. I take a picture of the beach and put it on my Snapchat story with my location tagged. This will let my first kiss know I’m near him so he can hit me up to fuck me. 

The day goes by kinda slow because all I could think of was walking up and down the boardwalk trolling for hot men. Finally, night comes and all the families that are at the beach go to dinner. I was kinda bored but then our server came. He was something else.

“Hi my name’s Chris and I’ll be your server tonight.” Ugh. Even his voice made my whole body warm up. His greenish blue eyes stared into my soul as he took my order. His dirty blonde hair was perfectly quaffed and the way his black shirt hugged his biceps was absolutely sinful. Okay yes, he was probably in his early twenties but who said I was ageist. If anything an older man would know how to fuck a woman better than any stupid high school senior that I would meet. 

I got up to go to the bathroom and saw Chris on my way. We locked eyes and didn't break contact until I went into the bathroom. As I stepped out of the bathroom I saw him again. It looked like he was waiting for me. His body was leaned up against the wall across from the bathroom I had just exited. He stopped me and said “Call me.” and handed me a piece of paper. Before I had a chance to say anything he turned and I was watching his perfect ass walk away. 

I went back to the table as if nothing happened. I don’t think anyone noticed my uncontrollable smile. Throughout the dinner, I could not tear my eyes away from our sexy server. I think Sarah noticed but I was gonna tell her about it when my parents weren’t right there. We finished dinner and all went back to the beach house. When we got back I told Sarah and she was so shook. We were racking our brains on what I should text Chris. I didn’t want to come off too strong but also I wanted this man to fuck me. So we settled on:

“Hey”

Yes. I know it's lame but he’s older defffffinitely older and I can’t act too young. Ugh, I am so scared of his response it's absolutely killing me. Sarah, two other girls that came to the beach, and I decide to go out for ice cream. At least ice cream would take my mind off waiting for a response. As we wait in line I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I pull it out and it’s Chris. 

“I thought I told you to call me” His response is very bold but for some reason, it only intrigues you more. Immensely more. I show Sarah and she smiles. 

“Guess who’s getting her wish tonight.”

“Oh my god,” I respond. “What do I say?” I am literally so scared that he will think I’m too young or too much of a child. 

“Um, don’t say anything. Call him.” Sarah says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

Do I actually call him? I’m literally getting the worst knots in my stomach and now I have to shit and I’m literally so nervous over a phone call. I am not a spontaneous person. AT ALL. 

“Okay, I’m gonna call him.” I say to Sarah after literally pondering this for 5 minutes.

Oh god. This is so scary. I tell Sarah to get me a vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and I step out of the line. I go to the walkway near the ice cream shop away from the crowd so I can hear better. I dial his number and put the phone to my ear.

It rings like 3 times and he picks up.

“Hey.” He says and his voice is even sexier than I remember. 

“Hey.” I literally didn’t know what to say and I am pacing up and down the sidewalk.

“So you must be the hot girl I gave my number to.”

“And you must be the sexy server.” Some wave of confidence came over me and that was the best response I could come up with.

“So what’s your name?”

“Olivia and if I remember correctly, your name is...” I paused to let him fill in the blank

“Chris.” 

“Chris, that's right.” I wanted to come off like I didn’t hang onto every word he said and so I played it off like his name wasn’t already filling my fantasies.

“So Liv, when am I gonna see you again?” He asks and this caught me a little off guard that he would jump straight to the point but I guess why prolong the inevitable.

“I don’t know, when are you free?”

“Can I pick you up tonight around 12?” Ugh yes. My plan was filling out nicely.

“Sounds great.” I mean what else am I supposed to say? 

“Send me where you’ll be and I’ll pick you up then.” His assertive tone was a panty fucking dropper. 

“Okay. See you then Chris.” I’ve picked up from my previous male experiences that if you say a guy's name he’ll be more inclined to fuck you. I mean I totally pulled that out of my ass but I wanted to sound like a confident vixen, not some 17 year old virgin. 

“Bye Liv.” The way he made up a nickname for me had me reddening in my cheeks and warming in my core. I say bye and hang up. As soon as the call ends I’m running back to Sarah and telling her every little detail. Okay, I really needed to get back home and shit. 

Sarah, the other girls, and I go back to the house and hang out for like an hour, and then it’s 11 and all the parents are asleep. I need to start preparing. So I take a phat shit and then shower even though I showered before dinner but I need to wash off my nervous sweats. I shave everywhere and when I get out I lotion my entire body, put on my sexy lingerie, and douse myself with perfume. I do my makeup but it’s simple and of course waterproof. I text Chris the address of the beach house but tell him to pick me up a couple houses down. I tell Sarah she needs to sneak out with me so if we get caught I can pretend me and her were just hanging outside the house. Sarah and I sneak out the back and bring her cart. I take a couple hits to calm myself down because god forbid I tense up before he can get his dick in. It's like 11:55. God my stomach is in knots. 

It’s 12. ‘Oh god’ I think to myself. I see a white range rover pull up at the end of the block. I say bye to Sarah and walk to the car. I see his face. Oh, fuck still sexy. I open his car door and jump into the passenger seat. 

“Hey.” I say

“Hey, Liv.” He says back. Him saying that little nickname he gave me is so much hotter in person. So so so much hotter. I think he knows what it does to me because his lips curl into a smirk. “Let’s go for a drive.” Chris says.

“Okay, I’m down.” I say back and kinda rethinking saying ‘I’m down’ because he is definitely rethinking how old I am.

We start driving around and talking and thank god the radio is on to fill any silence there could be. It’s on the country station and him liking country music is literally another added bonus. Then When it Rains it Pours comes on and I say “Omg I love this song.”

“Really?” He says back. “I’ve never met a girl as pretty as you that actually likes country music.” 

“Are you kidding? I love country music.” I say back not noting he just called me pretty. We mindlessly chat for like 20 minutes and Chris pulls the car into an empty parking lot that overlooks the whole beach town. 

“This is so pretty.” I say in awe of the gorgeous view. I can see from the corner of my eye that Chris is just looking at me.

“Not as good as my view.” He says back in a soft tone that has me melting to the floor of the car. I look back at him and we sit in silence just staring into each other's eyes. I glance at his lips and they look so kissable. They are the perfect amount of plump without being too big. When I look back to his eyes he is still staring at me. His lips almost form a smile and he grabs and cheek and kisses me. It’s even better than each and every one of my fantasies. I grab the back of his neck and kiss him even harder back. Before I know it the kiss gets more rushed and Chris is running his hands along the curve of my back. Our lips are crashing into each others with fervor like no other. He pulls me into his lap and he ruts his hips upward. He takes his left hand and moves the seat back and starts kissing down my neck. His lips leave little bite marks and he reaches my bosoms. He pulls my tank top down and pulls my breasts out of my bra and sucks on my right nipple as he pinches the left. Soft mewls leave my lips and he stops to look at me and the rush of cold air sends goosebumps across my skin. He leans up and kisses my neck and leaves marks all the way to my ear lobe and whispers “Before I fuck you until you can’t remember your name, How old are you?” 

Forming words is harder than I imagined so between pants I say back “17.” 

“Perfect” he whispers back while still biting my neck. “Come here” he says as he opens the door. I hop off him and outside the car and see the tent forming in his pants. He picks me up and wraps my legs around him and pins me against the car door. He bites my lip and I can’t imagine anything better than this moment. While still mounted on his he opens the door to the backseat and lays me down. He gets on top of me and shuts the door behind him. He ruts against my core and his jeans rub against the soft fabric of my athletic shorts. Although my mind is completely fixed on his engorged cock a thought forms in my mind. What if he thinks I’ve done this before? What If I’m so bad he doesn’t even speak to me again? These thoughts completely cloud my mind and Chris notices.

“What's wrong?” he says as he pulls away. I glance at his bitten lips and pant trying to form words. 

“Nothing just, I... I’m a virgin.” I blurt out. I am so scared I ruined the moment but his expression only intensifies. 

“Oh well we just can’t have that now can we?” He says back and his lust blown pupils grow darker and he kisses me with such intensity my thoughts completely leave my mind. I could get drunk off the taste of him. Chris breaks the kiss and rips off his shirt showing his perfectly chiseled abs. I felt them through the cotton but seeing them right in front of my eyes makes my mouth open. My lips peak into a smile and he picks me up and places my back closer to the car door. He rips off my shorts and starts kissing down my neck to my navel and I run my fingers through his hair. My chest rises and falls quicker as his lips reach my red lace covered mound. His teeth grab the waistband and he pulls off my panties. 

He inhales and says “So sweet.” His husky voice vibrating against my core. His kisses dance around my thighs. As more sounds leave my mouth Chris bites my skin. His hands hold my legs open as he licks down my folds. His tongue flickers across my clit leaving me trembling. I had never felt this way from anyone ever. My fingers run through his short dirty blonde hair and my nails dig into his scalp leaving crescent shaped indents. He slips his middle finger through my folds as he sucks on my clit. His fingers curl up hitting a spot I never knew existed. A feeling in my stomach starts intensifying and spreading through my entire body and I tremble in euphoria. Chris finger fucks me through my first ever orgasm. I shut my eyes tightly and when I open them Chris is staring right at me. I grab the hair on the nape of his neck and pull him back up to kiss me. I can taste myself still on his tongue as the material of his jeans rubs against my sensitive bud. His fingers pinch my nipples as he slips his tongue between my lips. I reach down and feel his throbbing cock through his pants. As I rub with the palm of my hand, throaty moans leave his mouth. Nothing was stronger than my desire to be fucked raw by this sex god. I pulled away from the kiss and say as I stare deep into his eyes “Fuck me Chris.” My words are efficacious to him. 

He licked his lips like an animal locked onto his prey. “Don’t have to ask me twice.” He pulls down his jeans and takes his cock out of his boxers. I have seen a dick before but never that big. My mouth almost dropped to the floor. He pulled a condom out of the back of the seat and wrapped it around his cock. He pumped his dick a few times before running the head along my sodden folds. “You ready?” I had never been more ready for anything in my entire life. Unable to form words I nodded my head. Chris pushes his cock into me slowly. I gasped at the feeling. I wasn’t as tight as I usually was but it still stung. Each inch stung a little more until he bottomed out into me. He stilled. His breath was hot on my ear as our breathing synced. I gasped again as he pulled his hips back. I reached down and pulled him back into me. 

“Don’t hold back.” I said. I wanted this to be as enjoyable for him as it was for me. Chris pulled out and thrust back into me again. The groans that left this throat made my pussy clench around him. He picks up his pace and pain turns into pleasure. My legs wrap around his thighs and I’m pulling him into me. 

“You dirty little slut. So needy.” He whispered into my ear. The sound that escaped my lips drew him deeper in like a moth to a flame. Chris drives his cock into me faster so that all you can hear is breathy moans and the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. Chris moves his hand to my throat and squeezes. I try to moan but they catch in my throat and I look back at Chris. His mouth is agape and he is staring deep into my eyes. He thrusts so deep my eyes roll back and I have to shut them. He grabs my chin and pulls my face to meet his. “Look at me. Don’t look away. I want to see your face as I make you cum on my dick.” His cock is hitting places he didn’t even reach when fingering me. Another orgasm rips through me and my body trembles harder this time. Chris fucks me through my orgasm and just as I regained my mental awareness I could feel another one coming on. Chris squeezes harder on my neck as he sucks on my hardened nipples. He bites my skin and takes his hand from my neck and reaches between our sweaty writhing bodies and pinches my clit. A guttural moan leaves my throat as another excruciatingly intense orgasm takes over my entire body. I can tell Chris isn’t far behind because his thrusts become sporadic and he puts all his body weight into his last thrust and stills. The noises he makes me wish he was still fucking me. He leans down to meet my lips once again but this time it is slower and more gingerly. He pulls his dick out and lays down on top of me. 

We catch our breaths and I say. “Wow, that was.. fuck.”

Chris softly laughs and says “Who knew a 17 year old could have me in the palm of their hand.” 

“Who knew a however-old-you-are would take my virginity.” I say with a smile on my face.

“I’m 20, I probably should have told you earlier.” He says looking a little guilty.

“Don’t worry it would have only turned me on more.” I laugh back and our lips join in a soft kiss. 

Chris and I look at the dashboard and see it's 1:30 am. “Shit I should probably get home before my friend worries too much.” I say looking back at Chris and he nods. We sit up and reach down for our clothes. I reach for my underwear and Chris snatches it from my hands.

“These are mine now.” Chris smirks.

“Fine.” I put on my shorts and pull my top back on. Sadly Chris covers his humongous biceps with his shirt. I lean in and meet Chris with a kiss. We get back into our respective seats and Chris looks at me with a dumb smile.

“Why are you staring at me?” I say with a giggle.

“Oh, nothing.” Chris says and his smile only looks more like a 6 year old who just stole a cookie before dinner. I mean technically he did just steal something but that's beside the point. Chris puts the car back into drive and turns around to back up. 

As he drives me home there's more small talk but then he asks “How long will you be in town?” 

“A week,” I say. Chris’s dumb smile returns. “Okay, what's that smile for?” 

Chris looks at me and says “I’m just excited to fuck you every night this week.” 

#chris evans #cevans #firstfanfic #yay #excited #chris evans fanfc #chris evans x reader #young chris evans #chris evans x female reader #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #smut #fluff #beach #stranger smut

[szivtalan]

otp questions for endhawks.........will u kick me if i'm greedy and say ALL OF THE NUMBERS

I WILL NOT but this might take a while tho!!!!

1. Who is the most affectionate?

hawks is more physically affectionate - he'll link their arms together, cuddle to enji's side in public, climb in his lap when they're home, hold his hand, initiate kisses more. but it's enji that people notice sending fond looks for his boyfriend so many times it becomes embarrassing - tabloids will have a whole article on endeavor's "heart eyes" ("my eyes are not hearts" enji frowns at the magazine in hawks' hands, who just shrugs and grins "seems like they are for me") so i would say, deep down the big man's a softie too

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

enji/hawks. unless enji has a nightmare, because in that case, hawks is more than happy to be his lil jetpack.

3. Most common argument?

ah they fight about the most useless things but one of my favorites that must come up often is enji thinking that hawks deserves better than him, and hawks insisting that he's everything he ever wanted.

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

kicking villain ass and family dinners. hawks likes to eat, and enji likes to eat with his loved ones all in one place. he wonders why hawks gets along so well with his children, and then he realizes - he forgot (again) how insanely young hawks is, and that he's merely a few years older than his youngest son, too. ngl natsuo glares daggers at his old man for having a boyfriend half his age ahahaha

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

given that enji could swing hawks around like a yo-yo, i think it's him ADJGSGH

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

hawks likes everything about enji. he's really into his body, but also his dry sarcasm, his occasional goofy jokes, and most of all, his heart. hawks will watch enji kneel down to a couple of children at a battlefield, his own face and hands dripping with blood, grunt out "are you alright, kiddos? come here, i'll get you somewhere safe" and see him do exactly that, scoop the kids up in his arms and carry them on shaking legs that could barely keep himself up, and then he will see him let his eldest burn the world, his second eldest scream at his face, his youngest treat him like dirt and know that he still cares so deeply for them, know that he loves them and wants the best for them and if the best is torment their father until he dies or worse, he'll let them without so much as a complaint.

enji, on the other hand, loves how easily hawks can lift the mood. he's learned to see through facades, and he'll call him out if he senses that it's hurting hawks to put on a mask, but hawks joking around and mouthing off makes our atlas feel like the weight of the world is a little lighter that day. he loves him for how driven he is, how graceful and hard-working and focused he seems in a fight, and thinks about how those traits were most important to him in the past but now he can see hawks use them to create a world where they can rest, and he realizes... that's not so bad an idea after all.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

enji speeds up the process of divorcing his wife lol. also he becomes more nervous around hawks, because shit, he likes him too, but he shouldn't be liked, why does hawks even like him? when hawks learns that enji likes him too, he gets shamelessly flirty. he doesn't make a move, of course - enji is still a married man, but he'll laugh at his nervousness, play with his own hair for enji's viewing pleasure and send suggestive winks his way like the damn tease he is.

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

enji calling hawks birdie is pretty obvious. hawks alternates every petname imaginable for enji when he learns that he's never been called one (he figures it out when he jokingly calls him darling once and enji blushes to the roots of his hair), his favorite is "sweetheart" and "baby". enji also calls hawks his angel, but only when he's being very soft for him

9. Who worries the most?

i mean..... both? enji tends to worry more for hawks' safety and hawks worries more for the crushing guilt enji lives with.

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

hawks - claims he does, but the truth is, he says a different thing each time and enji's happy to try new things as long as hawks will beam at him proudly after ordering

11. Who tops?

depends. they both do. enji topped more at the beginning because hawks was really into it and he was kinda insecure about asking for anything else, but hawks once offered and found out that he has a delicious bottom bitch on his hands.

12. Who initiates kisses?

hawks. height difference doesn't really matter when you have wings to fly up to your boyfriend's face and kiss him stupid

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

enji does. he wants to feel that hawks is by his side all the time, safe and sound.

14. Who kisses the hardest?

again, enji. his kisses get desperate, his hands rough. his temperature goes up despite his will and he just wants hawks to melt against him

15. Who wakes up first?

enji does! he's used to working out in the early morning before going to work

16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

hawks does!! deep down he's still a rebellious lazy teen and whenever he has a day off, he likes to sleep until 12. he swears he considers breaking up with enji the first time the man wakes him up at 6 to ask if he wants to come work out with him

17. Who says I love you first?

surprisingly, enji does. hawks is way too protective of his own feelings to let them flow out so soon, but enji is desperate, he wants hawks by his side for ever, and the first time he says it is the first time he realizes it's true. they're out eating dinner one day, and enji watches hawks chew around the food in his mouth, downing chicken like his life depended on it, and he watches the last rays of sunlight hit his golden hair, his golden eye, paint his wings blood red, and he knows he hasn't seen anything more perfect than that sight. he tells him he loves him, and hawks laughs so much he almost chokes on food. "pretty fucked up to tell me that while i'm deepthroating yakitori" he tells him, giggling

18. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

hawks!!! it usually says cheesy things like "good luck at work, endeavor-san!" or "don't forget to eat ur vegetables!" when there are zero vegetables in the lunches hawks packs for him

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

i mean hawks doesn't have much connection to his family, or has many friends, but enji is kind of pressed to tell his family all about his relationship since, you know. the news would reach them sooner or later anyway

20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

mirko is THRILLED that hawks is dating endeavor. the todoroki family, i mean.... shoto is confused, natsuo is mad, fuyumi and rei are both supportive and say they both want the best for enji. but mostly they just all think that he's really. Really young lol

21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

hawks!!! he likes to dance around the kitchen while enji is cooking or doing the dishes, and sometimes manages to seduce enji into his arms too.

22. Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

hawks is a better cook, but he never tells enji about that. he just lets him suffer and teach himself how to cook because it's so much fun

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

hawks, but he says nothing he would ever say can beat enji calling him his angel. that's the cheesiest it can get, and it's also only because of his wings, like shut up enji omg that's so embarrassing

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

hawks gets bored on important meetings. then he looks over to enji in a suit and gets horny. one of his favorite hobbies is watching enji squirm and struggle to keep it together after he's stroked his thigh under the table and whispered filth in his ear

25. Who needs more assurance?

enji does. he really, honestly thinks he doesn't deserve the love hawks has for him.

26. What would be their theme song?

my dude every song on ur playlist could be but this one in particular takes the cake for real

27. Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

in an au where enji's kids are still kids instead of grown adults, hawks would definitely read to them (sometimes legit tales, sometimes just colored-up and censored versions of their dad's missions) and cuddle them to sleep while he hums to them softly. in a non-au, enji catches him with shoto sleeping all wrapped up in his arms and wings, right after comforting him when he had a nightmare, trying to keep awake but slowly dozing off holding enji's youngest, most precious son, and enji kind of falls in love a lot more.

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

text, call, videochat. hawks makes a show of wearing some of enji's clothes, but really, you can't keep these assholes away from each other.

29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

enji will never think he deserves to have hawks by his side

30. one headcanon about this OTP that mends it

hawks will never grow tired of showing enji how much he deserves him.

#ask and i shall answer #paradox-of-retaliation #thank YOU fuck my fingers hurt #this was a LOT but i loved it ty #endhawks #bnha #anime

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Head Case (S2, E6)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:03 - This clip of Malcolm in the car is from the pilot episode. I was so betrayed by this clip. Full disclosure - I’ve always had a thing for Malcolm’s jacket from the pilot episode. I just love it and I think Tom Payne looks cute in it. BUT - I was betrayed because Malcolm isn’t wearing my favourite jacket in the next scene (I was disappointed but not surprised). Rant about wardrobe over. 

0:20 - This is weird to me. In the clip right before this, when Malcolm was coming to Claremont (wearing the awesome jacket) - Malcolm is clearly in emotional distress. He’s not in a good mood. BUT right here, when Malcolm is chatting with Mr. David he seems like he’s in a good mood. Not one of his manic good moods - just a regular good one.

0:32 - Anyone else notice how visibly uncomfortable Jessica AND Malcolm are? This whole Ainsley situation is literally going to destroy them both. :(

0:34 - sooooo Mr. David knows by now right? He has to? ALSO when the European FBI guy shows up in a few episodes this is going to be bad for Malcolm and Jessica right? The FBI guy will probs talk to Mr. David who will be like - oh yeah, they’ve had more ‘family meetings’ in the past 6 months than in the past 20 years. 

1:22 - Sooooo this whole family honestly thinks Ainsley’s going to become a serial killer. From the tidbits of her childhood that we’ve seen, the way she treated Malcolm in Q&A, and generally how she acts when she wants to get a story - I’m not surprised. Read my thoughts on older episodes (1x7, 1x20, 2x5), I’ve always thought Ainsley was a sociopath or psychopath. The girl doesn’t show a lot of moral backbone or sympathy for anyone. 

1:33 - Wait. Does this montage of Malcolm’s erratic behaviour mean that Malcolm killed someone as a kid? And doesn’t know it? Or is this just a reference to the whole ‘girl in the box’ trauma arc from last season?

1:44 - “I wish I didn’t know that you were a killer.” Anyone else get major flashbacks to the movie Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause? “I wish I had never become Santa at all” then we get an AU for 40 mins? Just me? Cool - excuse my bad taste in Christmas movies. 

1:50 - hahaha Martin is so bitter.

2:25 - You know, as much as I love to hate Martin - he has a point. Malcolm loved his Dad (still does whether he wants to admit it or not) in 98′ - why is Malcolm chill with Ainsley killing but not Martin? Is it because with Martin, he found a poor girl tortured in a box but with Ainsley he saw her kill a man that was threatening their family? Or was it because Martin tried to kill Malcolm but Ainsley hasn’t (yet?) **honestly - that would be such an interesting episode - if Ainsley tries to kill Malcolm**

2:33 - THANK YOU. Someone finally thanks Malcolm for trying to protect Ainsley (and in extension Jessica) from the emotional trauma he’s been dealing with since the age of 10. EVEN THOUGH PROTECTING THEM IS MAKING HIS MENTAL STATE WORSE. Seriously - Malcolm is going to snap soon I honestly won’t be surprised if we get some suicidal ideation from him this season (especially if things don’t improve). Look at those big sad puppy dog eyes when Jess thanks him.

2:38 - hahahaha that side-eyed glare directed at Martin. 

2:53 - I know Jessica had good intentions here - she’s trying to protect both of her children but honestly, this whole interaction was probably super upsetting for Malcolm. Think about it - BOTH of his parents haven’t tried to have a serious discussion with him at the same time since he was at 10 years old or younger. This interaction is probably bringing up some memories for Malcolm and making him grieve for the childhood he lost all over again. 

3:06 - “You’re gross.” followed by a very regal wave at Mr. David. YES. Queen Jessica. <3

3:25 - Malcolm startling JT is pretty freaking cute. Look at how JT’s expression immediately changes from startled to concerned. I don’t blame him. Malcolm gives off major manic energy in this scene. The visit with the parents did not leave him in a good place. Also - Malcolm straight up admitted that he’s had a ‘rough morning’ this boy almost never tells the truth when he’s struggling. He’s fine. He’s always fine. 

3:30 - “Rough month.” IS THIS IT? IS THIS ALL I’M GOING TO GET? JT had a baby THREE EPISODES AGO. ‘rough month’ is a reference to the fact that he’s a new dad and he’s struggling with lack of sleep, leaving Tally alone with the baby while he’s a work, being a good husband, adjusting to dad life, ect. RIGHT?!? We’ve literally had no mention of the baby since 2x3 and I’m losing my mind. I just want someone to say, “Hey JT, how’s the baby?” that’s it. I want 5 seconds of dialogue. Just an acknowledgment that the child exists. 

3:54 - “Sooo bring me up to speed.” OMG. That smile is both extremely manic and completely adorable. Seriously - why is no one on the team more concerned about Malcolm during this episode? AND WHERE THE EFF IS EDRISA IN THIS SCENE?!? We’ve been robbed. 

4:21 - “What? I liked math class.” OMG. JT is a closet math nerd. You can’t take this headcanon away from me. 

4:24 - hahahaha look at Malcolm absorbing the new information about JT. He’s like.....yes. I will keep that information for later. Very good. Will pry further. 

5:04 - I love Dani. She’s perfect. She can see that Malcolm just checked out into his own horror of a memory. So she gently teases him to bring him back to reality. <3 This is true friendship. <3

6:00 - Was I the only one who thought it was weird that Gil asked Malcolm to help with the canvasing? Like - doesn’t Malcolm always help? Isn’t that part of what he does to build his profile?

6:12 - “KGB agent” Yes. Malcolm is still annoyed that Ainsley was so competitive about a literal murder last episode. I promise you. Ainsley’s probably still annoyed too. 

6:26 - This is why Malcolm is considering telling Ainsley the truth. He’s already losing her. May as well rip off the band-aid. She might not react as badly finding out from him as she would finding out by herself.

6:51 - “That is my vagina.” hahahahaha OMG. As a woman I must say: HOW?!?! As someone who adores JT:  hahahahahahahaha OMG. 

7:23 - “You’re getting a lot of mileage out of that tidbit”. lol. JT gently teasing Malcolm is one of my favourite things. Hands down. Especially since they’ve reached a point in their friendship where Malcolm doesn’t seem scared or offended when JT makes fun of him. They’re acting like brothers and I LOVE IT. <3

7:25 - “That’s the tip of the iceberg my man.” I have no idea why I am so amused by someone calling Malcolm “my man” but I am. 

7:36 - “The Bowery Ripper” hahaha the look that JT and Dani exchange when Malcolm starts nerding out.

8:00 - Wendell is kind of creepy. But like a weird, non-threatening creepy?

8:22 - OMG. JT let the vagina sculpture go. hahaha Look at how grossed out Dani is hahahaha she’s like, “Ugh. Men are gross.”

8:30 - This is why I love JT. He knows that that elevator is sketchy as hell. Plus it’s some (less than subtle) foreshadowing for what’s to come in this episode. 

8:41 - How did Dani find out he was at Claremont?! Does Mr. David call Gil every time Malcolm visits?!? ......this is my new headcanon. You will have to pry it from my cold dead hands. 

9:00 - This is a really cute moment between Dani and Malcolm. Regardless of whether or not you ship Brightwell - it’s really sweet to see Malcolm interacting so honestly with someone. He’s telling Dani the truth about something and she’s not making him feel bad about how messed up his family is or how weird his situation is. She just listens and teases him to make him smile. That is a good friend. IDC how you feel about Brightwell - right now - this is a GOOD FRIEND moment and Malcolm deserves more of them. 

9:10 - Annnnnnndddd this is why Brightwell shouldn’t happen (right now). Dani is still hurt that Malcolm doesn’t trust her enough to tell her everything. She still doesn’t completely trust him after what happened last season. A romantic relationship without 100% trust will fail. End of story. They’re great friends but right now they can’t be in a romantic relationship. It’ll end poorly. (Damn, I hope Brightwell is endgame though).

9:38 - hahaha Greta Swan is a perfect comedic relief for the Dani/Malcolm tension we just witnessed. This girl is a little nuts and a lot funny. 

10:00 - “Dad’s lived here his whole life” - wow. The writers really left us some big bread crumbs. We go from the scene where someone mentions a serial killer who killed someone (who was abducted from this hotel) in 1963. THEN we find a strange, gossipy woman and her grumpy father who has lived there his whole life. Coincidence? Nah. 

10:17 - SERIOUSLY?!? The Whitly home is ENORMOUS. WHY IS JESSICA LETTING AINSLEY WORK IN THE MURDER BASEMENT?!?!?! We literally just found out that Jessica has a SOLARIUM somewhere in this house. 

10:40 - “The guy definitely seems like he kills people.” Oh the irony here. 

10:55 - “Are you upset with me?” This is soft and I love it. Malcolm is being vulnerable with his little sister and it warms my heart. 

11:07 - “Insomnia sucks.” “Who knew?” Again. Irony. 

11:18 - “Anything you want to talk about?” This is precious. Malcolm loves Ainsley SO FREAKING MUCH. He has major Dad/Big brother/concerned school counsellor energy here and I’m here for it. 

11:38 - Malcolm’s soooo going to replay this conversation in his head about a million times. He’s going to blame himself for Ainsley’s murder victim of this episode. He’s going to play the “what-if” game. What if - he told her the truth here? Would she still have killed someone tonight? 

11:52 - Look at Ainsley’s face here. She seems sort of confused and comforted? Like maybe the fractions of memories that she’s admitting to having are making her believe that she killed Endicott and it scares her. Malcolm telling her otherwise is probably comforting on some level. It’s helping her convince herself that she’s done nothing wrong. 

12:25 - According to IMDB - this isn’t the episode LDP directed SO WHY IS THERE SO LITTLE GIL CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE?!?!?!

12:27 - What the hell is the puddle on the floor btw? Is it paint? Tar? Blood? I thought construction hadn’t started on the hotel yet?

14:14 - Malcolm. You. Are. A. Moron. Why go towards the creepy elevator that opened by itself? Why did you think that was a good idea?

14:29 - The Bowery Ripper is pretty strong for an old guy. I mean, Malcolm isn’t that big and he was caught off guard but still.

14:38 - I wanted this scene to be reality SO SO BADLY. I don’t even care about the Brightwell interaction in this scene. Malcolm is on a hospital bed. With an ice pack. I could’ve watched 45 minutes of “Malcolm in the hospital” content. The fact that this boy didn’t spend longer than a 30 second scene in the hospital is a CRIME. Why does Fedak hate giving us the whump aftercare?!? WHY?!?! Doesn’t he know like half the fandom LIVES FOR IT?!?

14:40 - You know how I knew this was the start of Malcolm’s AU dream? 2 reasons: 1) Dani has her hand on the ice pack on Malcolm’s head, even though he totally doesn’t need her help to hold the ice pack to his head. 2) GIL ISN”T HERE. .....although this episode did us dirty with the lack of Gil content (I miss Papa!Gil so much)

14:46 - There’s something about dream JT. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Real and dream JT are almost identical. But dream JT seems to be more open with Malcolm? IDK - he’s more relaxed around Malcolm? I can’t quite describe it. Did anyone else notice that there was just something a little bit different about dream JT? Not even in a bad way. Just different. 

15:15 - “Noooo she said it could’ve been worse. Not the same.” hahaha YES DANI. Good looking out. Call out this boy for neglecting his health. 

15:24 - This whole scene where Dani and Malcolm do a joint interrogation was awesome. They were talking pretty fast which I found a little distracting but JT said it best, “They were on FIRE”.  One thing I REALLY liked about the scene was the dynamic between Dani and Malcolm. Neither one of them was really taking a lead in the interrogation. They were equal partners and I think that says a lot about Malcolm’s romantic desires. He doesn’t want to dominate anyone. He doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. He just wants someone he can trust and respect. Someone who will trust and respect him. He wants a partner. An equal partner. I think that’s a really healthy desire for anyone in search of a relationship. 

16:12 - an affair? Did we know that Lyle and/or Katrina were married?!? If they weren’t married it would just be a relationship. Not an affair. 

17:01 - Is this honestly the first time Dani has called Malcolm by his first name? In 26 episodes? It must be right? Because I swear I was so shocked my heart skipped a beat (also my Brightwell heart melted but that’s a whole different thing). 

17:06 - .....so in Malcolm’s dream does he still work for Major Crimes? Is JT running the department? I need some more details here. 

17:12 - Soft!JT <3 <3 <3 How cute is it that in Malcolm’s AU dream, JT (and Dani) don’t actually change (in terms of personality). Their roles in his life just intensify. Dani becomes his significant other and JT becomes a much closer friend/brother. It’s precious. <3 <3 <3 

17:52 - Something about the fact that Jessica isn’t drinking liquor in the AU is hilarious and depressing to me. It’s funny because, well, it just tickles me. It’s depressing because Malcolm understands that Jessica drinks to dull the pain. In this AU, she isn’t in pain. She’s happy. Therefore, she doesn’t need alcohol. I don’t know about you but the fact that Malcolm’s subconscious wanted his mom to be happy so badly that she became (more or less) sober - is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time. 

18:11 - “No one in this family is scared of a little blood right?” The irony here is THICK.

19:23 - The fact that Ainsley is a doctor just like Martin in Malcolm’s AU is terrifying and hilarious. This whole “I watched Ainsley kill a man” thing is really destabilizing Malcolm’s questionable mental health.

19:27 - “Please Ainsley is the talented one. I’m a distance second.” ....does this mean that Endicott isn’t the first person Ainsley has killed? Does this mean subconsciously Malcolm somehow thinks that Ainsley is a better serial killer than Martin?

19:56 - “No phones at dinner okay?” Something about the way Martin is looking at Malcolm at this moment and Martin’s tone of voice made me think - “Shit. Martin’s still a serial killer in Malcolm’s AU.” Especially since they Ainsley literally just announced to the room that he’s getting a from Claremont. 

20:06 - Yep. That’s a nightmare. From the back, Claremont!Gil probably looked like Martin circa mid-2010s for Malcolm. 

20:09 - Look idc who you ship on this show. But I will fight you if you don’t think that Malcolm being comforted after a nightmare by someone he loves is the sweetest thing ever. Look at how Dani gently rubs his arm and back. Ugh. This is the kind of safety Malcolm DESERVES. 

20:43 - Dani lying on Malcolm’s chest. <3 It just makes me so happy. Not even necessarily because it’s Dani (although I do ship Brightwell as end game) but because Malcolm’s subconscious is showing us his ideal relationship and we don’t see anything wild or questionable - we just see G-rated cuddling. And damn if that doesn’t say a lot about how much Malcolm just wants to be loved. 

20:53 - .......Can we have a full episode’s worth of footage where Malcolm is unconscious on the floor? I know I’m a basket case but it would make my whump heart so happy.....even happier if that footage was immediately followed by 40 mins of hospital care/comfort footage.

20:59 - I know that time has sort of slowed down for the purpose of plot in this episode but ngl - every time we saw the elevator approaching passed out Malcolm all I could think was “this is the slowest elevator in the world.”

21:26 - Malcolm is so so relaxed and comfortable in this scene. I want him to be this happy forever. 

22:07 - “You deserve all of it.” Malcolm subconsciously just wants permission to be happy. He doesn’t think he deserves to be happy (especially after Endicott). That little revelation broke my heart. Also the Brightwell kiss was adorable. Dani takes control because, Malcolm wants to feel wanted and this is how his subconscious is manifesting that desire. I will argue that Malcolm doesn’t necessarily want a relationship where his partner takes charge or dominates him. He made coffee of both of them. They’re living in his apartment. They’re having calm, mature, adult conversations. They are both equal partners in his dream relationship. 

22:45 - Dani isn’t scared of Malcolm when his hand starts shaking. She isn’t judging him. She’s just concerned. <3

22:47 - “Existential ennui”? Soooo much french in this episode. Damn. “Jamais vu”, “Quelle suprise”. Now “ennui”. 

23:35 - “I don’t fit your profile.” ....am I expected to believe that Malcolm didn’t realize this was a dream until this moment? Dani calling him “Malcolm Whitly” in the last scene wasn’t a red flag? Or the fact that Ainsley is a doctor. Or that Martin isn’t in Claremont? Or that Jessica isn’t drinking booze by the bucket? I mean, I know he has a head injury but these are big red flags. 

24:15 - Sooooo is Wendell dead irl? Because this is technically a dream. 

25:02 - “I thought we were looking for an inexperienced psychopath. A first time killer.”......this is him projecting about Ainsley right? Am I overthinking this? And now he says, “I was wrong”. Is that supposed to suggest that Malcolm thinks Ainsley has killed someone before Endicott?

25:07 - “The blows are confident. They were having fun.”.....couldn’t the same be said about how Ainsley stabbed Endicott? They were definitely confident stabs (plus a confident throat slitting). 

25:14 - “We’re looking for a serial killer.” Istg the writers are hinting that Ainsley is a serial killer (or will become one soon).

25:27 - Mr. David appears in the AU but Edrisa doesn’t. We were ROBBED.

26:07 - I’m not the only one who thinks that beard makes Gil look like a werewolf right?

26:33 - Claremont!Gil is creepy. LDP’s performance here is really really good. Also - I hate it. Because serial killer Gil is just not my Gil and it upsets me to see Gil chained to a wall. 

26:56 - Sooooo in the AU “The Surgeon” is still at large right? ....you’d think Malcolm would be trying to solve that case with Dani and JT. You know, an active prolific serial killer in New York?

27:34 - The way that Martin, Gil, and Malcolm interact in this scene is really interesting to me. In a lot of ways, this isn’t an AU. Think about it. 

In the dream: Gil is frantically trying to convince Malcolm that Martin is a serial killer. In a way, Gil is trying to protect Malcolm from Martin.

In reality: Gil just shoots Malcolm disapproving looks when he mentions seeing Martin. Gil desperately tries to protect Malcolm from Martin.

In the dream: Martin is trying to convince Malcolm that Gil is a monster. He’s trying to convince Malcolm that he’s a Good father. That he would never hurt Malcolm. That he loves Malcolm. 

In reality - Martin is the same. 

The only main difference between AU!Martin, AU!Gil, and their real counterparts is their temperaments. AU!Martin has Gil’s calm, comforting, and rational temperament while AU!Gil has Martin’s angry, manic, and controlling temperament.

What is the same between the AU characters and their real counterparts? 

Martin is still a manipulative killer.

Gil still shoots Malcolm looks of concern (27:45). 

Gil and Martin still hate each other. 

28:30 - Even dream Martin tries to gaslight Malcolm. 

28:56 - “You can always count on Dad.” ....is this how Malcolm really feels about Martin subconsciously? It kind of makes sense? Who did Malcolm turn to when Ainsley did the unthinkable? Not Gil or Jessica. Malcolm said it in 1x12 - (I’m paraphrasing) “The child in me thought he cared. Loved me even.” I think there’s still a part of Malcolm that believes that. Or at least a part of Malcolm that desperately wants to believe that. 

29:17 - “I’ve never been to a crime scene before.” That’s because you create the crime scene, Martin. In all versions of reality. 

29:20 - annnnnnd AU Martin shares regular Martin’s weird fascination with Dani. 

31:00 - JT being buddy-buddy with Martin is hands down the most horrifying part of the AU. 

31:10 - “I think he’s having a psychotic break.” ......I want this to be foreshadowing so so so badly. I think it would be so interesting to see how the team, Jessica, Ainsley, and even Martin deal with Malcolm just having a total breakdown. Maybe not a full psychotic break. Maybe a nervous breakdown? Or he succumbs to his suicidal ideation? Probably a little too dark for network TV though.

31:34 - “I’m very protective of her and her boots.” Does Malcolm see himself as the Bowery Ripper, trying to protect Ainsley as opposed to his daughter? Or is the Bowery Ripper supposed to be a metaphor for Martin protecting Ainsley? Is Malcolm going to take the fall for Ainsley and all her murders?!? 

32:45 - “Why did you kill again? After all these years.” istg this is hinting that Ainsley killed someone as a kid and Martin knows about it.

33:00 - “I can’t let my daughter know what I was.” .....is the Bowery Ripper supposed to be Ainsley? Is Ainsley killing people to try and protect Malcolm? Ugh. I’m totally overthinking this.

33:02 - Even in his dream, Malcolm can’t bring himself to kill his father. Wether that is by cutting off contact with Martin irl or letting the Bowery Ripper kill him in the AU.

33:07 - Actually though - why doesn’t Malcolm carry a gun IRL? We know he’s trained to use one. We saw him use one in the pilot on a case for the FBI. Is there some sort of NYPD rule about consultants carrying weapons? Is it a rule that Gil has imposed on Malcolm? Is it a rule that Malcolm has imposed on himself? A mixture? I want to know. 

33:38 - OMG. Is Malcolm going to try and kill Ainsley?!?! What a twist that would be. AU Malcolm just killed a killer. He doesn’t seem to feel bad about it and he agrees with Martin that “everything is okay now”. 

33:55 - This hug deeply moved me. Malcolm is fully aware that this hug isn’t real but he looks so content to be hugged by his father. Malcolm is finally getting a proper hug. <3 It honestly makes me wonder what Malcolm would do IRL for his father’s approval though. He’s clearly sooo desperate for Martin to love him. Who knows what Martin will be able to convince Malcolm to do in this season? Malcolm’s not all that mentally stable right now and he’s really vulnerable emotionally. I’m worried.

34:26 - “Not that it’s a competition.” ....yep. Ainsley wants to be better than Malcolm even in Malcolm’s own subconscious. 

35:00 - Heart. Breaking. Watching Ainsley, Martin, and Jessica tell Malcolm how good they think Dani is for him breaks my heart. Look at how happy Malcolm looks. Look at how desperately Malcolm wants this to be real. Ugh. My heart is shattered. 

35:20 - “You’re the best, big brother.” Even Malcolm’s subconsious knows that he’s an excellent big brother. Seriously, I love my younger brother but I don’t think I could ever cover up a murder for him. Never mind dispose of the body. Maybe I would? IDK the situation has never come up (thankfully).

35:25 - .....aaannnnnndd we’re back to the Girl in the Box.

35:58 - “Why would you ever want to leave?” “Because it’s all a lie.” Isn’t Malcolm living a lie IRL too? He’s pretending that Ainsley is a law-abiding citizen. He’s pretending that he isn’t an accomplice in a murder. He’s living in constant fear because of his secrets. They’re going to destroy him. This is why I think a suicide attempt is a possibility for this season. This trauma is a lot bigger (in some ways) than last season’s. Plus - Malcolm has a lot of pre-existing trauma. This could be the metaphoric straw that breaks the camel’s back.  

36:45 - “Even in my wildest dream. I’m still a detective. I need to seek the truth. No matter how painful.” That’s it. That’s Malcolm’s character in a nutshell. “Traumatized boy who intentionally puts himself through more trauma for the sake of seeking the truth.”

37:01 - “You’re right. I need to work on that.”.......if Malcolm tells Gil and/or the team about Ainsley next episode I will lose my mind. 

 37:15 - TOM PAYNE. YOU ABSOLUTE TREASURE. THIS IS SUCH A GREAT PERFORMANCE. THOSE UNSHED TEARS. THAT DESPERATE ANGER. THAT HOPELESSNESS AND DESPAIR.  <3 <3 <3 <3 

38:21 - Look, I’m a mechanical engineering student (not an expert) but if that was a wooden stick like I think it is - that would’ve NEVER stopped an elevator (at least, not long enough for Malcolm to escape). But I’ll overlook it for whump. Because Malcolm has a head wound and I’m loving it. 

38:33 - I’ve rewatched this clip of Malcolm with a bloody face meeting JT and Dani about 50 times (wish I was exaggerating that number). There is something so gorgeous about this scene. I mean - the fact that Malcolm is clearly in physical and emotional pain is enough to make my whump heart sing but it’s more than that. Listen to the genuine concern in JT’s voice when he says, “You okay?”. Look at Dani’s concerned face. Listen to how soft and desperate Malcolm’s voice is when he says, “When was the last time I talked to you?” Look at how concerned and confused JT and Dani are when Malcolm says, “I know who the killer is.” They’re not scared of Malcolm. They’re scared for Malcolm. Malcolm just showed up covered in blood, he can’t walk straight, he’s clearly confused, and now he’s claiming that he’s solved the case. They’re worried about him and they have every right to be. Listen to how broken Malcolm sounds when he says, “Long story.” <3 <3 <3 I’m in love with this scene. 

39:19 - “Are you sure about this?” “I have no idea.” This. Is. Important. JT and Dani have every reason to believe that this old man isn’t a killer but Malcolm’s head injury is making him confused. BUT they choose to trust Malcolm (or at the very least, humour him). They trust him enough to take a risk on him and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s exactly what Malcolm needed after his nightmare of an AU dream. He needed to know that they care about him IRL. I hope he notices their behaviour despite the head injury. 

39:35 - Malcolm puts the skull down with his ungloved hand. I’m blaming the head injury. 

39:55 - Look this was a really moving scene. The parallel of Malcolm arresting a serial killer in front of the serial killer’s child and Martin being arrested in front of Malcolm is haunting. HOWEVER, when that old man stood up from the wheelchair my stupid brain went “THAT ASSHOLE NEVER EVEN NEEDED THE WHEELCHAIR?!?”.....even though he literally wasn’t in a wheelchair in Malcolm’s dream. 

40:40 - WE WERE ROBBED. I want to see the scene where Malcolm explains his dream to the team. I want to see GIL. WHERE THE EFF IS GIL IN THIS EPISODE?!?! FURTHERMORE - I WANT THE IRL VERSION OF “MALCOLM GOES TO THE HOSPITAL FOR A HEAD INJURY” SCENE. WTF FEDAK. GIVE ME THE AFTERCARE. 

40:47 - “That man will be buried in a turtleneck.” hahahahahaha OMG. Iconic. 

41:27 - “Goodnight Malcolm.” <3 <3 <3 She called him Malcolm IRL. Excuse me while I go and stoke my slow burn Brightwell fire. 

41:36 - “Goodnight.” This is the face of a man who just accepted the fact that he will never be happy. Malcolm honestly doesn’t think he deserves to be in a relationship. Especially with someone as beautiful, kind, and talented as Dani.

41:40 - THAT HAT. Was this really in Season 1?!?! I don’t remember it? But holy hell - I want to see Malcolm wear it. Like now. It’s going to make me laugh. I can feel it. 

41:53 - Immediately you can hear that something is wrong in Ainsley’s voice. She sounds distracted, dissociated, and scared. 

42:14 - Give. Tom. Payne. An. Emmy. Listen to his voice breaking here. He’s so close to tears and it’s genuinely beautiful. Such an astounding performance. 

42:51 - I honestly think Ainsley is shaking her head because she realizes that she made a mistake. She came to Malcolm because she thought he killed Endicott. She thought that he’d be able to understand. That he’d be able to help her because he had committed the same crime she just committed. She was wrong. He can help her - but legally, he really shouldn’t.

43:08 - Look. A new scene for Malcolm’s night terrors. 

43:15 - Yep. This is going to drive Malcolm into a mental breakdown. This is bad. 

43:20 - There’s a part of me that wants Malcolm to tattle on Ainsley. Just so he doesn’t have to keep the secret any longer. The secret is killing him. Telling won’t make the situation any better though. Gil and the team will react horribly and it’ll make Malcolm feel like garbage. Plus I can only imagine how the press would scrutinize the Whitly’s again. It won’t be good any way you slice it. 

I have a love/hate relationship with this episode. On one hand - it’s the cannon AU episode that every fanfiction lover dreams of. It’s also a really compelling episode complete with some excellent acting and great insight into Malcolm’s psyche. HOWEVER: 1) not enough Gil, 2) WHERE IS MY WHUMP AFTERCARE?, and 3) I wanted to see Malcolm at the base of that elevator for longer. The whump wasn’t prolonged enough for my sick soul. 

#jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #prodigal son #gil arroyo #dani powell #JT Tarmel #ainsley whitly #martin whitly #edrisa tanaka #jessica whitly #I LOVE this show #whump #rewatch #spoliers #malcolm needs a hug #ps #so good #2x06 #2x6 #head case #holy hell #the whump #<3 #this episode #we were robbed #where was the aftercare? #AND GIL #Also i loved this episode #s2

[fromzerotoeuphoria]

In Which I Lose My Sanity Over a 6-Minute Audio Drama (aka my Reaction to a RinHaru Drama CD Track)

Okay so I just discovered what Drama CDs are after overindulging in RinHaru goodness on tumblr, and I came across a post from @donamoeba that had an excerpt of Track 10 of the official Free!DF Drama CD Extra Short Film titled, “Haruka’s and Rin’s Road Trip.”

And only a few lines into this thing and it’s already gOT ME LOSING MY MIND.

Haruka: You’re such a rough driver that I’m too worried to fall asleep.

Rin: Heh, speak for yourself.

Haruka: Beside…

Rin: Huh?

Haruka: This is the only time we can talk properly.

I’m actually scREECHING Haruka wanted to have some one-on-one time with Rin so they could “talk properly” just the two of them 😭😭😭

Well STRAP UP LADIES & GENTS that was only the tip of this RinHaru iceberg and I am THRIVING.

So I read the full translation thanks to @donamoeba over on Tumblr, and omg the way Haruka was so sentimental and mushy with Rin gave me so much LIFE MY STARS WERE RATTLING. Like, usually it's Rin that's the sentimental one and Haru that's all inexpressive and aloof, but this time around it was like they switched and Haru kept wanting to talk about sentimental things with Rin and 😭😭😭😭 the way I'm wrecked.

I'm going to post the full trans here and give my rinharu fangirl commentary because I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS. It's so sweet and sentimental Haruka is EVERYTHINGGG, especially when he's all sentimental with/about Rin <3

(my commentary is italicized in purple)

✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧   ✧

Rin: There’s… still another 3 hours until we reach the training camp. You can sleep if you want, Haru.

Haruka: You’re such a rough driver that I’m too worried to fall asleep.

Rin: Heh, speak for yourself.

Haruka: Besides…

Rin: Huh?

Haruka: This is the only time we can talk properly. < I SEE YOU HARU 👀 literally so cute and sweet that Haru wants to talk with Rin properly yes babe I want that for you both too

Rin: Well… since I’ve been back in Japan, both you and I have been stuck in training camps practicing, I guess.

Haruka: It’ll be like this until the All-Japan Swimming Championships. It can’t be helped.

Rin: But what we did today is pretty crazy, huh?

Haruka: It’s not crazy, it’s free.

Rin: Haha, there he goes again.

Haruka: They all worked really hard for the high school championship.

Rin: Yeah. Since it’s the last tournament in high school.

Haruka: It reminds me of us last year.

Rin: Yeah, we were totally like that. We couldn’t tell when we were part of it then, but we were fired up, we were reckless, and it kinda makes you cry. It’s a Memorial Summer that we will never return to.

Haruka: Waxing poetry, huh…

Rin: Shut up.

Haruka: But then, that’s what we were like. < idk why but Haru saying this just makes me emo T_T He’s usually not the one to be expressively sentimental, and yet he gets like this with Rin

Rin: Yeah. It’s only been one year, but it feels like such a long time ago.

Haruka: You sure you don’t want me to take the wheel?

Rin: Nope, I’m fine. When it comes to driving technique, I’m better than you.

Haruka: Are you implying that I have better swimming techniques than you, then? < literally Rin is the only one who brings out this cheeky competitive side of Haru, like I legitimately do not remember seeing Haru get like this with any other character

Rin: That’s what we’re gonna find out at the All-Japan Championships next week, right?

Haruka: … < I wonder what he's thinking about, cuz he suddenly got all quiet thinking about the All-Japan Championships. Quiet Haru always makes me wonder what's going through his head

Rin: Are you nervous?

Haruka: If I’m nervous, I won’t sneak out in the middle of the training camp to go cheer for Rei and the others.

Rin: That’s true.

Haruka: Did you drive when you were in Sydney as well? < this is literally just a normal question but my delulu self squees at Haru asking Rin about what he did while he was away from him in Australia T_T like Haru is still curious about Rin’s time away from him

Rin: Hmm…  only on my off days. What about you, Haru?

Haruka: I don’t get much of a chance to drive in Tokyo.

Rin: You live in the city, so I guess you really don’t have to.

Haruka: What is it like living in Sydney? < *squees* [see previous commentary]

Rin: It’s pretty good. I train with my friends every day, then we go eat after training.

Haruka: So you made new friends there. < J;AJKFDAKJLFJLK OMG HARU IS THAT SLIGHT JEALOUSY I'M SENSING HERE?????

Rin: Yeah. There’s David, Chris, Johann, my coach Mikhail, and many more.

Haruka: Were you able to see a sight you’ve never seen before with these friends? < LAKFKFJDKJLFSDKKLAKJSK YES IT FRIGGIN IS SLIGHT JEALOUSY I AM LIVINGGGGGGG. Haruka is highkey trumping himself over Rin's foreign friends like, "Yeah well so you've made new friends but can your new friends show you the world the way I show you the world??" I AM SCREAMING, RINHARU OTPPP

Rin: Eh? I wonder… I probably did see it, but…nothing compares to the sight I saw when swam with you and the others, I don’t think. What about you, Haru? < Yes babie tell Haru how no one compares to your friendship with him (and the others)

Haruka: Same here. < AHKSLJSFSDKFLJLFSD

Rin: Hehe. But we can’t stay this way. We can’t stay fixated on our past and be stuck in our memories, right?

Haruka: Yeah. We will move forward to the future.

Rin: Hah, you’re pretty poetic yourself, Haru.

Rin: Actually, I AM pretty tired. We got up early after all, so let’s take a break. There’s a service area around here.

Haruka: Yeah.

Rin: Let’s nap for an hour?

Haruka: Okay.

Rin: Do you know how to put down your seat?

Haruka: Right here?

Rin: Yeah.

(silence)

Haruka: This reminds me, around this time last year, we slept together like this, Rin. < AKFDSJKLFAKJFDKJLKDSFLJ I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT HARU IS THE ONE TO BRING UP HOW THEY SHARED THE BED TOGETHER IN AUSTRALIA OMG OMG THIS LITERALLY IS EVERYTHING (the reason I'm dying so much over this is because Haru isn't the type to get all sentimental, but he's really out here getting all sentimental with Rin now that they "cAn tALk pRoPeRLy" and he really brings up out of the blue their time in Australia and how they had to share the bed. It must've been a highlight in Haru's life, something he remembers fondly, especially since it was this trip with Rin that Haru discovered his dream. So for Haru to be so sentimental about it enough to bring it up on his own…*cries* ugh it's just…I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Rin: Huh? …oh you mean the hotel in Sydney?

Haruka: My whole world changed since that day. < *DECEASED*

Rin: And it will keep on changing. Yours, and mine. < HARU'S JUST OPENLY TELLING RIN HOW HIS "WHOLE WORLD CHANGED" SINCE RINHARURALIA & RIN SAYS BOTH THEIR LIVES WILL KEEP CHANGING TOGETHER I LOVE THIER RELATIONSHIP SO FRIGGIN MUCH 😭💜

Haruka: I wonder what we’ll be doing next year at this time.

Rin: Maybe we’ll be at a hotel somewhere in the world where there’s a tournament going on, and we’ll make the same mistake and end up sleeping next to each other again. < ahahahaha Rin you cheeky lil...ilysm

Haruka: Never again. < mhmm riiiiiiight Haruka, keep pretending like you don't cherish that night 😏

Rin: Hehehe.

Haruka: I want to… swim relay again. < and it's all because of Rin

Rin: Let’s swim together. But on the world stage this time! I don’t know what the team will be like, though. < YOU’RE GONNA DO IT BABES, YOU’RE GOING TO THE OLYMPICS TOGETHER 😭

Haruka: Yeah. One day, definitely. < yes babies sooner than you think!

Haruka: Rin.

Haruka: He’s asleep.

Haruka: One day, definitely, we’ll see a sight we’ve never seen before again. < yes I'm ugly crying and so are you

THE END < of my existence (:

(reposted from original blog July 25, 2020)

#AHHHSKDJSDKLFDSJK??! #THE WAY I ACTUALLY LOST MY MIND #I CANNOT HANDLE THESE TWO #SENTIMENTAL HARU IS TOO PRECIOUS #RIN MAKES HARU SENTIMENTAL #it's canon #how is rinharu NOT canon #rinharu #harurin #free! #free! iwatobi swim club #free! drama cd #free! translations #me reacting #otp #you don't know how long it took me to make this post because tumblr's text editor SUCKS #rin matsuoka #haruka nanase #free! dive to the future

[aiden-png]

Heyy, is there any way for you to possibly share your planning/outlining process? I’m having a lot of trouble myself figuring out how to write my fic, it’s all just out of order and all over the place, and I feel like knowing what you do might help a bit

omg sure!! I know how to outline a few different ways and jump between the methods depending on the story, length, and how much planning is actually needed to achieve my goal. I don’t typically outline unless I’m setting out to write something over 20k words or I have an idea that relies on a series of interconnected scenes (like a 5+1 for instance)! I’ll continue below the cut...

when I’m ‘outlining’ for a multichapter fic below 20k, my notes are pretty simple and typically look like this (example from “5 Times Wild Did Something Wild”): -collecting bomb arrows while it’s raining -electrocuting a group of enemies during a lightning storm -deflecting guardian lasers with his shield/cryo-launching a guardian and sniping it midair -riding a Lynel and killing it from close range* -setting up a trap and killing a Yiga in disguise elaborately* -getting stabbed/shot and pulling the weapon out of himself to finish the fight

these ‘bullet outlines’ are really good for laying out scenes, story beats, or chapter summaries for multichapter fics. when I write a short oneshot however, my notes are 1-5 sentences that summarize the entire plot or the prompt, and I add more notes if necessary when I sit down to start writing. for example, the prompt outline for “Hero Through the Ages” was this: Wild is reverted back to a child and everyone expects him to be rowdy and impossible. Instead he’s entirely mute, very stoic, extremely well versed in swordsmanship, and acts like he’s a knight.

however, when I’m outlining a longggg multichapter fic, I have two methods I really enjoy using and tend to pair them together. first is the summary method, where I write out an overview of what I want the story to be like in paragraph form. it ends up looking like a Wikipedia summary for a book or film when it’s done, but the reason I like this method is because it allows me to brainstorm on the page and develop my ideas where I can reference them again. these methods are supposed to be rough at first and get developed further later, so the next two examples are plans for a fic that ultimately went in slightly different directions by the end! here’s the beginnings of a paragraph outline for my BotW fic “A Major Test of Strength”: Link has been training for a few weeks since defeating Vah Naboris so he has all the supplies and strength he needs to take on Calamity Ganon. He learns of a Spring of Wisdom (or smth actually not in canon) that is said to have healing/restorative properties and it’s suggested that he travel there to try and regain the last of his memories. Sidon decides to tag along to help/see if he can finally work up the courage to confess his feelings to Link. When they get there Link not only gets his memories of this life, but of all other timelines restored at once along with his abilities. Every Champion had a power, and Link always thought the swordsman didn’t. It suddenly makes sense why everyone has believed in him without question since he awoke: Link is the strongest Champion, and he’s just now reached his full potential. Before Link can begin to train his new powers the Yiga stage a plot 100 years in the making, putting Link, Sidon, and the whole of Hyrule in danger. Link has a time limit to face Ganon before the barrier breaks now, and he’ll need all the help he can get to make it there in time.

from the paragraph-style outline I can make a scene-by-scene or chapter-by-chapter (or even act-by-act) outline which is the second method I like, though I have a hard time writing things I know the endings of. I typically outline as I go after the midpoint of a fic so I don’t lose interest, and will place filler estimates for how many chapters will be in the climax and resolution. working from story beats in this case is a lot easier for me, so I’ll make a bullet list where I describe the exposition in quite a bit of detail, summarize to the midpoint, more briefly summarize to the climax, and then stop outlining. it looks sort of like this (same fic as above): 1- Link hears about a Shrine* that is said to help connect those to their past or smth and it’s in the Laynaryu Mountains. He decides to go for it, as he’s still missing a lot of his memory (he’s not super distressed by this, he knows himself and he’s content, he has more important things to handle, but he hopes that the final piece in his puzzle may help him defeat Ganon). He travels to Zora and Sidon insists on traveling with him, it’s not far after all 2- they travel to the location and become close along the way 3- when they arrive the place is surprising and Link emerges from the Shrine with far more than he expected. A Yiga had tailed them, and upon seeing Link’s powers, quickly teleports back to their base 4- Link spends some time training to grasp his new powers and finds himself drawn to Sidon more and more. The Yiga commune with Ganon 5- the Yiga stage an ambush on Link as he travels, kidnapping him and Sidon. The Yiga preform a ritual in front of Hyrule Castle where Link was knighted at the blood moon to rend Link of his powers and Sidon rescues him too late, the Yiga and any information they had disappearing 6- Link and Sidon travel to visit the Great Deku Tree as Link looses his strength, hoping to reverse the spell 7- Link and Sidon make it at the last minute and are shown the secret location of the Temple of Time, where Link completes the ritual, and is sent back in time to before the kidnapping so he can continue his training 8- Link prevents Sidon from being kidnapped with past Link and they journey to Satori Mountain to stakeout the ritual site so they can disrupt the ritual before it’s too late. they talk and share secrets and both realize how they feel 9- Link and Sidon successfully intervene and the two timelines collapse, merging, until Link awakes in the Temple of Time in a fixed timeline with the triforce and knowledge of his powers and his love for Sidon. He confesses instantly 10- epilogue? Link and Sidon share a peaceful day months after calamity ganon’s defeat, Link training future soldiers and running errands for citizens of Hyrule while effectively retired, Sidon and him officially courting, and everything right in the world

there are a lot of different outlining strategies beyond these that you can use too! there’s a flashcard one, where you write out important events and scenes on cards and organize them in whatever timeline you feel works best. there’s the in depth outline, where you summarize the scenes and events in every chapter from beginning to end (this one helps a lot with keeping consistent chapter lengths and maintaining plot threads). when I use an outline, to make sure I don’t forget what I’m supposed to be writing for each chapter, I’ll write myself notes at the end of the doc that I can glance at as I’m typing. I’ve also used the editing method, where I’ll read and edit the previous writing session before starting the current one so I don’t lose track of where I was. when writing a long piece, it can be helpful to stop in the middle of a scene that excites you, so you have the motivation to return later to finish it! it also works well to finish an entire scene or chapter before stopping so you don’t have to read back to start writing again, but since I tend to write every single day until a fic is finished I don’t have a lot of issues picking back up where I left off.

just remember, the outline is only a tool for you to use! it’s not set in stone, it doesn’t have to be neat or completed--the only thing that matters is that it helps you better write your piece. it’s perfectly fine to diverge from the outline when writing, or to edit it as you go! and outlining definitely isn’t for everyone, I rarely use one because I feel it limits my own creativity in some regards. flying by the seat of your pants when you write is a perfectly valid method too, so stick with what makes you comfortable and what works for your style--and remember to have fun! I hope this helped answer your question! :D

#thanks anon! #aiden writes #outlining #I hope this is helpful! #it took me years to figure out methods that worked best for my writing style so playing around w a few different outlining methods #will help you figure out which one works best for you! #I only really plan or outline when I have a hard time visualizing where the fic is going to go tbh #so I've been outlining a lot recently for two longfics and I still don't know how long either will be XD #outlining also helps writing a longfic not be so scary or overwhelming #you can get lost writing so easily and lose motivation or inspiration--so keeping notes or an outline really helps !

[kyufiber-moved]

hey hi helloo~ so,,,you kinda seem like you know lots of kdramas,,,,and i wanted to ask you,,,if you could recommend me some of your favorites? tbh anything would be fine kdjs it can be something where i can cry my heart and soul out or something really cute! that's totally up to you (but something where i can absolutely get emotionally invested in that it shatters my heart is what i probs need rn tbh 😩✊🏻)

this is my time to shine 🤓🤓🤓 i DEFINITELY CAN !!! esp for my favorite follower 😔💕 also this is gonna be pretty long bc i gave a lot of info for each drama so i’ll put a read more~!

_ MY PERSONAL FAVS _

go ho’s starry night- a chinese-korean collaboration drama starring snsd's yuri, kim youngkwang (the secret life of my secretary), and lee jihoon (legend of the blue sea) - go ho (yuri) is a dedicated worker who deals with her grumpy boss and quirky coworkers. she requests to be transferred to a different team, where she discovers her new boss is her ex-boyfriend, and then basically there forms a harem of 5 of her coworkers who all like her- super fluffy!! episodes are only about 15 minutes long each, and although there is angst, there's a lot more comedy and fluff. the relationship between the two main leads is adorable and had me squealing way more than once

put your head on my shoulder- a chinese drama starring fair xing (master devil do not kiss me) and lin yi- si tu mo is a bubbly girl who moves into a house only to find out that the owner's nephew (?), gu wei yi,  is already living there, and the two end up living together. si tu mo is sweet and outgoing, while gu wei yi is quiet and intellectual- SO cute. although the plot seems cliche, the focus is not really on them living together, that's just what brings them together originally, and the main lead isn't the stereotypical "cold and super smart asshole" type, he's actually very sweet. there are a lot of episodes but i would definitely recommend watching this!

like- a korean webdrama that you can find on youtube starring kim yu an, kim kangmin (maybe, maybe not), yoo jungwoo (love after school), and seo ji hye- about a group of students who create a film club to make youtube videos and the dumb shit they get into, plus there's some romance, betrayal, and fuckboys. - so so so so cute honestly. the dynamic between the characters of the club is so cute and funny, plus the love triangle has me wheezing. also the asshole fuckboy gets what he deserves which is super satisfying. it hasn't finished airing yet, but so far it's really cute

failing in love- korean webdrama  you can find on youtube starring son sang yeon (triple fling), yang hye ji, and shin yoon seop- about a group of high schoolers who deal with falling in love, crushes, rejection, etc.- ok so the summary i gave was pretty vague but that's because any more and i'd be exposing the whole plot. there is humor and fluff but also teenage angst, and the characters are all more complex than they first appear. i would highly recommend this show !!!

i have 3 boyfriends- short webdrama you can find on youtube starring kim ji eun, park sungwoo (produce 101 season 2 [that 30 year old dude who danced to rain's song OMG], moon jihoo, and lee jungsik - when la hi gets in a car accident and wakes up with amnesia she finds that she has 3 men all claiming to be her boyfriend.- OK LISTEN . this show is so funny and cute. let me just say: you MUST watch to the end. that's all i'll say. pLS WATCH

last minute romance- two episode drama special starring han seung yeon (age of youth) and lee seo won (the liar and his lover)- when baek se finds out she has terminal cancer and only has a short time to live, she desperately wants to complete her one bucket list item: date her favorite actor. it's then that she meets an aspiring actor who looks exactly like her favorite actor- so cute and very short, so you won't spend ages trying to finish. it is very fluffy, cute, and funny, but has an underlying tone of sadness because the main female lead has cancer and will eventually die. also her best friend is a monk??? the ending is bittersweet but very fitting

want more 19- a short webdrama you can find on youtube starring jung ha joon, sin gi hwan,  jeon yoo rim, nam yoon soo, and lee jungha- a story of 5 friends in high school. A mutual crush, a one-sided love, and a rough patch for sweethearts, all taking place right around the end their senior year- OH GOD i can't breathe this drama is so cute. it had me squealing every single episode, and it's very lighthearted with hardly any angst 

splash splash love- a two episode drama starring kim seulgi (queen of the ring) and highlight's doojoon (radio romance)- right before her ksat, danbi is transported to the past during a freak rain shower and is mistaken for a eunich (which, in korean, is the same word for high school senior) . due to her knowledge of future math, the king enlists her to teach him mathematics and they fall in love- a lowkey parody/remake of the kdrama love in the moonlight but if you added time travel into the mix and took out nearly all the angst. SO cute and funny, and has a happy but open type ending

something about 1 percent (2016)- korean drama starring jeon so min and ha seokjin (drinking solo)- lee jae in is an arrogant company heir, whose wealthy grandfather who decides to grant all his wealth to a kindly elementary school teacher. to only way for anyone else to get the money is for someone to marry her, but they devise a contract that changes it to date for 10 months. although they hate each other at first, they eventually fall in love- this drama is super cute and the kisses are AMAZING. there are crazy exes and all that but the couple's dynamic is super cute and they quickly warm up to each other

triple fling (s1)- a short choose-your-own-ending  korean webdrama on youtube starring jung bomin, son sangyeon (failing in love), themanblk's jeongyou, and themanblk's eom sewoong- lee sehee accidentally becomes friends with the three most popular boys in school and ends up in a love square with them- alright im whipped for stuff like this so naturally i loved it. i also really liked how viewers could choose their own ending as for which boy she chose. there is a second season that i haven't seen yet that focuses on another girl in ANOTHER love square (containing one of the guys from sehee's love square) in which it shows which boy she actually did choose (and it was my favorite so . yay!)

weightlifting fairy kim bok joo- a korean drama starring lee sungkyung (cheese in the trap) and nam joohyuk (who are you: school 2015)- a drama about a female weightlifter who falls in love. persuing the relationship would jeopardize her weightlifting, and focusing on weightlifting would jeopardize her relationship with her crush.  she and her group of friends deal with one-sided crushes, athletic pressure, and self-love.- i watched this drama in full in only two days, and loved it. seriously, it's funny, cute, sad, and just a generally AWESOME drama. plus it takes a lot of cliches and makes fun of them or turns them on their head

when you love yourself (s1)- a short webdrama you can find on youtube starring jung mingyu (sweet revenge 2) and saet byeol . - about a girl who is heavier than her classmates who struggles with self-love and self-acceptance, and along the way finds love- god. i can't even explain how much i loved this drama. the message is wonderful and there's no moment where she glows up and loses weight and then gets the guy's attention or anything: he simply loves her as who she is, no matter what weight she is, and is supportive. there's also an episode that focuses on the queen bee girl who also struggles with weight and self-love and it's just beautiful 

after school: lucky or not (s1)- short drama starring 5urprise: kang tae oh (my first first love), seo kang joon (are you human too), gong myung (drinking solo), lee taehwan (w: two worlds), and yoo il, as well as kim so eun (our gab soon)- when so eun gets an invite to the choose-your-mission club, she meets 5 chaotic guys that she becomes friends with, but there's something they aren't telling her.- yes, there is a lil romance and a love triangle HOHO. ok but seriously this drama is the most crackheadery i've ever seen like. genuinely i was just wheezing so hard every episode because of the dumb sh*t the guys were doing and so eun's reaction. this drama seems dumb and funny at first, but there are emotional moments as well as some angst relating to the love triangle and the origin of the club. please do watch this show !!! (don't recommend season 2, though)

accidentally in love - a chinese drama starring amy sun (the eternal love), fiction guo, and ma li- chen qingqing, who is raised by her grandfather) is arranged to be married, but wants to find love on her own terms. on the day of the wedding, she runs away to the university her parents attended to find out more about their death. to hide from her grandfather, she changes her appearance drastically and enters university. her new deskmate turns out to be singer si tu feng, whom she has already run into and has gotten off on the wrong foot with- so this drama was longer than the ones i usually watch but it was worth it. it was cute and they didn't drag out the couple not getting together for ages like some dramas tend to do. the romance was super cute and the female lead's undeterred determination to march to her own drummer was amusing. the only thing i didn't like is that they didnt give the side couple enough screentime bc they were super cute too

my woofy poofy love / my dog-like dating- a short korean webdrama you can find on youtube starring chae ji an and kim do hoon (your imagination becomes reality)- a girl who has recently been cruelly dumped by her boyfriend brings a stray dog back to her home and wakes up to find that instead of a dog, there is a man! she happens to be looking for a roommate, and so this man (who can turn into a dog) becomes her new housemate- literally adorable. female lead is stunning and the relationship is so cute and fluffy and innocent, but the kiss is steamy as hell. 

unrequited love (2019)- a chinese drama starring zhu yan man zi and zhao shun ran- a story of a girl who has secretly loved the same boy for 10 years, but he doesn't know she exists, until one day when they meet in college. so begins their love story, but things become more complicated because of other people- ok so like . damn i love this couple. this drama is really cute but has its fair share of angst, so don't expect an easy ride the whole way through. very cute though !!_ MORE DRAMA RECS _

a love so beautiful- a chinese drama starring shen yue (meteor garden) and hu yi tuan- chen xiaoxi has liked her neighbor jiangchen onesidedly for years, and continues to like him despite his seeming disinterest. but her determination and bubbly personality, as well as a romantic threat starts to cause him to fall for her- aight so . i feel like this drama was dragged out a little bit longer than necessary and then the ending was slightly rushed but!! it WAS a great and super cute drama

ok to be sensitive (s1)- a webdrama you can find on youtube starring kim da ye and kim youngdae (extraordinary you) and others im too lazy to put- focuses on feminist issues like sexism and sexual harassment in a college setting, which each episode focusing on one particular incident and the characters dealing with it- listen so like . this show had me emotional at some points bc of how amazing the message was. it dealt with sexual harassment, sexism, how females are expected to act, stalking, pressure to have sex... etc and basically every episode was like . you can stand up for yourself. you don’t have to “take it” just bc you’re a female, etc. also there was really cute romance uwu

ok to be sensitive (s2)- season 2 of otbs, also can be found on youtube, starring yoo hye in and lee shin young, as well as others but again im too lazy to list them all- same thing as season 1, but a different cast of main characters, and set in an office workplace. (original cast makes a cameo at the end)- the issues in season 2 were definitely a bit darker because it was set in a work place, where the main characters were worried about getting fired if they stood up for themselves, but the way things were handled was really admirable imo. also the male lead in this one is ABSOLUTELY adorable

go back diary- a 4 episode webdrama you can find on youtube starring kim ye ji and lee jong won (jaemin’s webdrama how to hate you)- about a boy who sees a girl at a karaoke bar (?) and instantly develops a crush on her. she then transfers to his school, and it tells the story of their love story after 10 years.- i’ll just say it right now. the whole drama was adorable except for the ending, which fucking sucked. literally was horrible. boycott episode 4 pls i was SO UPSET. otherwise, great webdrama

before we get married- taiwanese drama starring puff guo (just you; we got married w/ suju’s heechul) and jasper liu- tells the story of two people who already have partners and are planning to marry them, only to meet each other and fall in love- bro this show had so much angst i couldn’t even breathe lmfao. but the romantic scenes between the two leads were S T E A M Y let me TELL you. 

love after school (s1)- korean webdrama that can be found on youtube starring park so eun and yoo jungwoo (like)- about a couple who fell in love in high school and their story, told from 5 years later when they meet again- i love love love this bitch. LOVE. season 2 ... we won’t speak of her lol. but season 1 is super cute and the ???? kiss at the end(ish)??? DEAD. literally anything with yoo jungwoo will destroy me but omg. it was fantastic

lucky romance- a korean drama starring hwang jung eum (she was pretty) and ryu joon yeol (reply 1988) - about a woman who believes wholeheartedly in superstitions meeting a man who believes only in science and mathematics, and their very chaotic love story- this show was so funny tbh. the main couple’s dynamic was HILARIOUS and even though they were literally complete opposites they worked so well together. warning: towards the end there’s that whole ‘i have to be noble and let you go bc its for the best’ bullshit but!!! there is a happy ending 

maybe, maybe not- a webdrama starring kim kangmin (like) and gong yoorim- a girl who can read minds and is an outside bc she knows what everyone is really thinking meets a guy that she can’t read the mind of- so fluffy. so cute. oh god. pls watch it’s so soft and cute 

my first first love- a korean drama starring jisoo (strong woman dbs), dia’s chaeyeon (drinking solo), and b1a4′s jinyoung (love in the moonlight)- about a group of friends who all, due to various circumstances, move into their friend tae oh’s house, and find love along the way.- idk why netflix did that dumbass thing where they did mffl 1 and mffl 2 but they’re the same show, just eps 1-8 then 8-16. anyways !! very cute show!! jisoo is fine as hell. taeoh and the rich girl are cute together. i found the ending abrupt and unsatisfying, but overall a good show

thumping spike (s1)- a korean drama starring hwang seung eon (part-time idol) and song jae rim (our gab soon) - about a volleyball team and their coach who are aiming for success, and a female professional volleyball player who becomes their athletic mentor- i know it doesnt sound super romantic but trust me. there is lots of romance, and even a love triangle hehe

u-prince: the single lawyer- a thai drama apart of the u-prince series starring august vachiravit paisarnkulwong and apple lapisara intarasu- firstclass is a straight a student who is strict about punctuality and properness, while minute is a spoiled rich girl who loses all her luxuries when her family files for bankruptcy. she begins “going out” with her gay best friend, aka firstclass’ brother, for money and ends up living in their house, but she and firstclass hate each other- listen all the u prince dramas are cringy and low quality but does it look like a give a shit . NO BC I KEEP WATCHING THEM . they’re cute ok . anyways this was my favorite one so this is the one im recommending yeehaw

unexpected heroes- a short korean drama sponsored by the CDC organ transplant management center, starring btob’s minhyuk, ioi’s sohye, and choi jonghoon- about three high school students who discover that, after their respective organ transplants, they have supernatural powers- though there’s not much focus on romance in this drama, it’s still funny and cute. plus minhyuk is in it and what more can you ask for ?? lol. anyways the trio uses their powers to help solve crimes n stuff it’s gr8 and ive been waiting for a season 2 for 98429834 years

what to do with you- a korean webdrama - that is actually literally an ad for a facemask - starring lee hayoung and kim youngdae (extraordinary you)- saerom and geun are friends, but it feels like they’re something more. will they ever take the next step?- yeah this webdrama is super cute and that’s really all lol. also the bitchy girl in love after school is the best friend in this one oho

your imagination becomes reality- a webdrama that can be found on youtube starring oh se young, kim dohoon (my woofy poofy love), and jin ho eun- soram has a crush on a mysterious upperclassman, and wishes to see him again: she does, soon after. each time she makes a wish, it seems to magically come true. - yeah so like . it’s not a supernatural thing or anything, it’s just a cute college romance that’s basically every girl with a crush’s dream lol~! 

#asks #bossgyu #drama recs #kdrama recs #recs #sorry i took so long to reply!!!!

[pendragaryen]

10 Questions Tag Game

Rules: Answer 10 questions, ask 10, and tag 10 people to answer them.

Tagged by @burninghoneyatdusk , thank you Sam! <3<3<3

1. What’s a memory you wish that you could go back in time to and relive?

Honestly? The Dystopia The1OO-Convention i’ve been back in April 2018. It was... a complete bliss from start to finish. I love our The1OO cast! I really do! I had the time to meet, hug and chat with many of them, to do photo-ops and join them at the saturday night-karaoke party. And this memory is very dear to me. Nothing can destroy it. Not even fandom hate.

2. If you could talk to your 13 year old self, what would you tell her/advice would you give her?

I’d say: “Approximately 8 years from now, you’ll meet that guy you’ll decide to move in with together, to travel a lot with, to share lots of nerdy stuff you both love. And then, another 7 years from that you’ll meet ANOTHER guy and you might FEEL as if you’d met the love of your life, as if you finally know what REAL love is... But... trust me... DON’T DO IT!!! JUST DON’T!!! SPARE YOURSELF THE PAIN, OKAY?!” *curls up into a ball*

3. What’s your favorite quote of all time? Why?

“Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”        ―      J.R.R. Tolkien,            The Lord of the Rings    

It isn’t difficult to guess, why that’s my favourite quote ever. “The Ring” could be replaced by basically every obstacle in your life, everything that causes you pain or let you suffer. Back in 2001 and from that year on, these words really had been a guiding light for me. A spark of hope. They still are. And they never fail to bring me to tears. Never.

4. What is the quality you value most in a friend?

If he/she’s trustworthy. And a good listener.

5. If the pandemic magically ended today, how would you spend tomorrow?

I would buy a ticket for the train and travel to meet my best friend IMMEDIATELY.

6. If you could go back in time and live in any era & location, and face no danger, where would you choose?

Ouf... There are so many countries i’d love to know better. But... out of the countries i already visited (and completely isolated from the question of going back in time) ... i would probably prefer to live in Canada/British Columbia, where my aunt lives (honestly, i’ve hardly ever visited a more beautiful location. The mountains, the ocean, deep forests filled with giant redwoods, beaches... and the most chill metropolis ever: Vancouver). OR... Denmark. I LOVE Denmark. We’ve been there a lot when we were kids. It’s so calm and peaceful there. And there are endless beaches!!! On one side you’ve got the rough Northern Sea with its often very high waves. And on the other side you have the Eastern Sea, much calmer and easy to take a swim in. Mh... I can’t decide.

7. What heroine of a movie, book, tv show, story, or history do you relate to most?

Morgana le fay from the original Arthurian Legends. I’ve been a fan of the Arthurian Legend for AGES now... let me think... since the early 90s probably. And i’ve read TONS of books and novels about it. I know almost every version of her, good or evil, healer or deathly witch. And i can relate to almost every part of her, and if it’s just a little. But the picture of her that had the most impact on me was her characterization in novels such as “The mists of Avalon” or “The road to Avalon”. These definitely shaped my view of her as a strong, independent woman, who suffers a lot - but refuses to give up and stands tall despite loss and angst. I don’t identify myself with that picture of her. I like to see her more as kind of a model. Someone to look up to. Morgaine/Morgan/Morgana le fay taught me a lot throughout all these past years. I owe her...

8. Without saying who the person is, what is a question you wish you could ask someone but can’t?

“Are you happy now, with the life that you’ve chosen? With that wife from the other side of the world and two kids? Is that what you ever wanted? And why didn’t you ask me to marry you, when we were already years into our relationship? Would it have been okay for you IF I had proposed? Probably EVERYTHING would have gone different, if we only... “ But that’s the past. And I’ll never get the chance to ask all these things anyway. It’s gone.

9. In one sentence, what are you personally struggling with right now?

ONE sentence???? Omg... um... I hope my fragile health lets me doing my job until the end of september, when the time of my “observation” finally ends (I was kicked out of my job 3 years ago bc of illnesses and there was a law suit and they decided, that i had to go 3 years without being ill for more than 10 days each year - if i can do that, i can keep my job - and that period of time is ending soon! Fingers crossed!).

10. What’s a book/article/story that brought you joy/comfort/healing that you wish others would read?

Joy: Definitely The Hunger Games trilogy. And Bellarke-fanfiction of course (Especially “Training Wheels” by bettsfic and “Don’t wake me” by grumpybell for example. ;) )

Healing/Comfort: Almost everything written by Nikita Gill. And i’m a sucker for (picture) books about “Hygge” - a danish way of life, coziness and comfort.

My Questions

I’ve already done this last week and here are my questions if you want to participate! https://pendragaryen.tumblr.com/post/623645366859005952/10-questions-tag-game-rules-answer-10-questions

#tagged #burninghoneyatdusk #THANK YOU #10 questions tag game #the 100 #10 questions #me #my edit #about me #just me #text post #the 100 fam #the 100 fandom #the fam #bellarke fam #bellarke fandom #arthurian legend #lord of the rings #lotr #mutuals

[mellz117]

Hi! I’m Mellz and I’m starting up Kingdom Hearts 2 on the PlayStation 2! 

Just below are links to the first parts of my previous Kingdom Hearts plays.

[ KH1 ] _ [ Re:CoM Sora ] _ [ KH Re:CoM Riku ]

It’s been a hot minute, like 3,155,763 smoldering hot minutes, which would be 6 years including leap years. Yeah it was 01/27/2014 last I touched this game, exactly 6 years ago to this day (01/27/2020) as of me starting up again. This was an accident.

Guide thingy: Things like long gaps between commentary and days will be separated by a line of dots like that ->  ……

Text relating to an image posted will have a blockquote either above and/or below the image

Dialogue exchanges will also be separated by a blockquote

Ok I'm playing on standard difficulty, if I'm having a hard time, then I just suck. If you’re reading this and haven’t experienced KH2 for yourself, why are you here? Go away, there’s spoilers for things that aren’t revealed until later.

SO LET’S JUST JUMP INTO IT

……………………………………………………………………………………………

I always liked this fancy CGI opening. There’s a lot of things I missed last I saw it.

IT’S HIM. Look how cute he is! 

So we start off with a recap of Kingdom Hearts via a dream it seems and our protagonist, my precious boy Roxas, wakes up his own home all alone because apparently DiZ didn't create a digital family for him. But KH is notorious for forgetting parents, so maybe they did. I’m not Cinema Sins so I wont ping this game for not giving Roxas fake parents lmao

In the next scene Roxas is more interested in his own hands than he is in his friends' conversation. 

blurry ring textures, blurry checker pattern. Not everything holds up well on a flat screen TV

He hasn't been paying attention so he's just as confused as the player is at this point when he finally takes his attention off his hands.

This dialogue is so early 2000's. KH1 and CoM avoided this but with the urban setting of Twilight Town it's DEFINITELY noticeable and outdated. So rumors have spread about Roxas, Hayner, Pence, and Olette that photographs are being stolen, and THEY'RE the theives. Who is the operator of the rumor mill? Seifer and his posse. Also the actual WORD is gone too, they try to say “photo” but it just DOESN’T EXIST. This is where the game gets a bit odd.

TUTORIALS GALORE. I JUST WANT TO PAUSE AND CHANGE THE CAMERA CONTROLS STOP TELLING ME ABOUT MY NEXT OBJECTIVE but no no it’s telling me how to lock on, control my camera, context sensitive buttons, etc 

This girl’s dress looks like shes wearing a bra over it 

I like how the animal AI hasn't changed at all in this entire series. And by like I mean hate, KH3 doesn't change that. Sven is as boring as this cat we have to look at.

The gang heads to the sandlot where Seifer, Fuujn, Raijin, and Vivi like to hang out I guess? Vivi is a little, solid black, wizard dwarf amongst all these regular humans and no one bats an eye. This shit is normal. Seifer with his stupid Seto Kaiba jacket, shows up to further accuse Roxas and his friends of stealing photos, one specifically of Roxas flat on his face and Seifer standing triumphantly over him (which we’re actually shown later). "That was undeniable proof that we totally owned you lamers" he says in regards to it and challenges Roxas to a rematch.

A+ dialogue

Seifer. My dude, ya dumb-dumb. If you think for one second that I'm gonna let my boy lose to you, you are sorely mistaken. 

“If you get on your knees and beg, maybe I’ll let it slide.” Seifer says and Roxas plays it slick, taking a knee and looking through a convenient selection of foam weapons. Battle ensues.

So of course I win because Seifer is a pleb, and Pence takes a commemorative ______ of Roxas's sound victory, but oh no! Something stole the camera right out of Pence's hands! Roxas gives chase, because apparently he's the only one who cares enough to do so, and confronts the actual thief, a Dusk type Nobody. Roxas is taking this creature encounter rather calmly. Like mild confusion at most.

I hate these things, they're creepy. When you do a reversal on them they like, plant their hands on the ground behind them and their legs wrap around their arms while they spaz out. Ughghdhahh

Of course Roxas's foam bat doesnt cause any damage to the Dusk, and suddenly a familiar giant key digitally manifests in his hands. DiZ is installing mods I see. I have a Keyblade mod in Skyrim, so we have something in common.

After we defeat the thief the next scene shows the gang at the usual spot with the recovered photos. Ok ok so was "photo" the only word deleted from the vocabulary or were any other alternative words taken away too? Like, if they could have said "picture" this whole time, they would have had much less stupid sounding dialogue exchanges. Whatever lmao.

“Tell us about the picture thief.”

“Not much to say. The pictures were just lying there.”

You liar. Tell them about how you fought a wormy, white boy.

Pence notices all the pics are of Roxas and speculates the picture thief wanted to take the REAL Roxas and Hayner is like

The best friendships are ones where you can take jabs at each other and know there’s no malice intended.

 In the scene thereafter, the kids go their separate ways, the evening(?) sun assaults Roxas's eyes, and whenever he closes them he gets another vision? Idk what time of day it is it always looks the same.

God ok as someone who hadn’t played CoM before playing KH2 for the first time, I must have been SUPER lost regarding who DiZ and Namine were and why Sora is in the pod. More recaps of KH1: I don’t know why they found it necessary to redub over the old voices with the new actors in these flashbacks.

Moving on. Roxas learns what the Keyblade is through his dreams. On his way to meet up with his friends, he tries summoning the Keyblade with a stick, when that doesn’t work he carelessly throws it aside and it hits this cloak clad man behind him. This dude is either completely unfazed by that is or so offended he can’t even say anything and walks away before he goes all Karen on Roxas’s ass.

We’re back at the usual spot and summer vacation is nearing it’s end. Hayner wants to go to the beach before school is back in session! You poor fuckers...

Same, dude. I’m waiting on my tax returns, looking forward to that.

SKATEBOARD

“TO DEFEAT THE HUNSSSSSSS!”

Pretzels at the beach? Salty and not refreshing. I got you fam, I’ll make enough money for a watermelon. Roxas is so poor omg... How much is 150 Munny in American currency?

Just BEAT the cargo with a foam bat. What’s IN the bag? Is it trash? Clothes? Is it potentially breakable? Next. Time to beat some bees!

So Poster Duty was my go-to job in this game in the past because you could get 100 Munny if you did well. But now that I’m older I realized how annoying it is. I had an efficient route planned out, hit as many of the 3 poster placements in that route, and be over and done with that in about 1:10....

But then Roxas goes aND DOES THIS!

FUCKING SKIPS THE ONE DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIM, DEFYING GRAVITY IN FAVOR OF THE POSTS BELOW

HE DOES THIS CONSISTENTLY!! I do have a live reaction to this but it’s too big for tumblr. I’ll have it up on youtube one of these days

Eventually I stopped sticking posters to walls and became a mailman until the game made me stop.

Black-clad man is back with his own stick! Oof, Roxas eats the pavement and is manhandled by cloaky boy. WAS THIS ROUGH TREATMENT REALLY THAT NECESSARY? You might wanna treat Sora's Nobody with a little more respect. AND YOU STOLE HIS HARD-EARNED MONEY! YOU BASTARD!

The gang is on the clock tower, very dangerously high up. Wtf what if someone falls?! Roxas feels so guilty about what happened and Hayner gets over this little fiasco pretty quickly and the next day he already has another fun plan.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

On his way to the station, Roxas crosses paths with Pence and Olette, the latter two freeze and Roxas meets Namine. Is her interest in Roxas linked to her desire to be Sora’s friend? A strange girl tells Roxas she wanted to meet him “at least once” and he doesn’t know what to do lol. Namine doesn’t stay long, leaving Roxas with his confusion. What is going through his head? A girl he doesn’t know seems to know him well enough to want to see him. Pence and Olette unfreeze after Namine is out of the shot. Pence and Olette have such a cute relationship, I’d love for them to be siblings. Pence goes shopping with her even if he might not want to. I can relate, I hate clothes shopping.

These Dusks don’t seem like too much of a threat tbh, they just kinda swagger slowly towards Roxas and grab his hand. Roxas hardly struggles to escape to the sandlot.

Chicken wuss

WE FINALLY GET SOMEWEHERE, we end up on the stained glass pillars in the Station of Serenity (?). Time to grind for like 5 minutes because this giant noodle boy already killed me once.

This thing really unsettles me. All the creature Nobodies do! They’re all twitchy and stretchy. DISGUSTING

DAMN THAT IS A HIGH FALL HOW DO YOU SURVIVE THAT?!

Upon defeat, this big noodle boy falls on top of Roxas and Namine saves him from being enveloped by darkness.

Namine really seems to like to silence him. First she shoves her hand in his face but that was too forward. This time she daintily places a finger over her lips and says her part. Black-cloak guy shows up, rough handles Namine a little bit but not as roughly as he did Roxas. AND SHOVES ROXAS INTO A PORTAL

SEIFER IS AN OPPORTUNISTIC SHITLET POSING IN FRONT OF HIS UNCONSIOUS BODY. Bitch you didn’t earn that. Hayner, Pence, and Olette see Roxas with Seifer’s gang, Hayner feels betrayed thinking Roxas ghosted him in favor of Seifer. He stays pretty salty about it for a good while

IM NOT WORKING ON THIS LIKE I SHOULD. ITS ALMOST A MONTH SINCE STARTING. In my next post we'll be "Struggling" to progress. Eh? Eh? Get it? Like the tournament?

I'm not funny.

Here’s the next part: [ _2_ ]

Below is a compilation of my live reactions and comments throughout this point of the game.

#mellz plays kh2 #Kingdom Hearts Series #kingdom hearts 2 #kh2 #PlayStation 2 #square enix #disney #mellz post

[lawisnotmocked]

BBC Les Mis Episode 2

I’m back with more incoherent screaming (and spoilers) buckle in lads!

Starting again with some quick things!

What even is time anyway? The passage of time is a made up concept invented by the musical.

Font is still laughable :,3

I would!! Die for little ‘Ponine and Zelma!!!

Olivia Colman is an incredible Madame Thenardier!! Definitely one of the highlights of this episode for me!!

I really love the Thenardiers and all the Thenardier scenes! Except! When Thenardier hit Madame T I wasn’t expecting that. It just seemed a little unnecessarily violent? Like, nothing was really achieved by adding it in other than seeing her get hit we can already see that Cosette is in an abusive household and it holds no significance later on either? Yeah wasn’t too fond of that :/

I would die for little Marius :,,) but it was a really weird choice to have Gorges die when he was so young?? Interested to know what Davies is going to do with that now. Are we going to have 7 year old Bonapartist Marius??

Fantine’s letter writer needs to shush no one asked for his damn opinion >:/

Now moving onto My Boys (featuring Fantine too)!

I don’t care what anyone else says about Valjean’s ponytail it’s the cutest thing ever and I love it :,) and his awkward little speech omg that was very in character and also adorable!

After the first 10 minutes things get... ehhhh. Valjean comes across a little bit judgey of Fantine when he interviews her to work in the factory, but sure okay, having the two characters meet isn’t a bad choice they’re establishing the fact that Valjean knows Fantine works for him so he’ll recognise her later.

Can’t deny that Monsieur le Maire is very attractive (sorry had to get that out of the way ^^’) and okay a scene with him handing out coins to children good all still very in character!

I loved the shot of his bare bedroom after the factory girls were talking about it too and lighting the candlesticks that we can see he’s kept too. As of this point no major issues!

Ooh damn guess who comes into the factory next!! The new handsome chief of police here to ask in his lovely deep voice if you prefer to be called Monsieur or Daddy!! (Spoiler he prefers Monsieur le Maire) God this scene!! Once again is so nearly perfect!! There���s the awkward tension and clash of opinion and Oyelowo and West’s incredible acting!! But the dialogue sucks!! It feels so forced!! Please Davies!! You almost had it there!!

Oyelowo’s Javert is so dedicated and fanatical I love him so much god please give this man a better script hhhhhhh :,,)

Okay okay as I’m watching I’m thinking actually the second half of this scene is a little better it flows more easily and Javert’s monologue was actually not too bad.

Oof I hated the implication that Valjean was interested in/attracted to Fantine though. Especially since, again, it served no purpose other than making Valjean seem creepy and making it appear that his later actions were motivated by attraction. Served literally no other purpose wasn’t used again past that point just made everything else Bad. I hate it.

What comes next?? Cart scene cart scene!! And Javert on a horse 👀 I... don’t know if it’s just because I’m making heart eyes at Dominic West and David Oyelowo the entire time but I really liked this scene!! No complaints even the dialogue was pretty good!

The next scene however.... *deep sigh* the next scene....

I... really did not like the choice to have Valjean stand there, listen to Fantine explain herself and her situation in tears to him, and then loose his shit at her and fire her. That’s just. No. Not only is that so incredibly and painfully out of character, but it’s also messing up the entire point of Fantine’s story?? And making Valjean a really dislikable character?? God I just. I hate this scene so much ugh!!

No letter Jav rides straight the fuck to Paris! I don’t know how I feel about this scene? On the one hand... who the fuck is this man the Javert I know would never challenge an authority figure!! But on the other hand I guess it’s kind of fitting for Oyelowo’s Javert? So yeah. Don’t know how I feel about this. I guess I didn’t dislike it but you’re on thin fucking ice Davies and you’re lucky I like Oyelowo’s more dominant Javert.

*deep sigh* Valjean.... buries the candlesticks with his money. What about the symbolism Davies?? What! About! The symbolism! During the scene where he’s supposed to throw them into the fire!!

Valjean and Javert meeting in the street on horseback after both returning from their Highly Suspicious Missions was a Good Scene though I loved that! It made me think of the Awkward Eye Contact Scene in the brick when Valjean is staying in Gorbeau House :p See! The issue is! That most of this isn’t too bad! And some of it is really good! But there’s a few utterly awful things that just ruin the entire episode for me! And that sucks!!

Anyway. I really loved the scene where Fantine sells her hair and teeth I think that was done well! But it was really goddamn sad as well!! ‘Les mis is sad’ says local man who knows storyline :,3

After this I felt like Fantine’s story gets a little unnecessary graphic? Maybe it’s just a personal opinion but it felt a little bit like the scene where Madame T was hit. Apparently Davies can’t write a single female character who isn’t a Tragic Powerless Victim Of Men (Specifically Their Sexual Urges) :/ But again, just a personal opinion I can see how other people might like that scene as a way to show how truly awful Fantine’s life became.

Oookkkayyy Fantine’s arrest. Personally I liked the beginning of this scene! As always Oyelowo was incredible and his Javert was rough (but he did just drag a woman off a gentleman and she was attacking him so I think that’s not an unexpected or totally unreasonable reaction) and dismissive, and I loved Fantine begging him to let her go and then calling Madeleine a monster. Big oof but in a good way. Making me feel feelings.

Javert literally throwing her to the ground felt a little too much? But Davies it Just Like That apparently :/

My main problem with this scene was actually Valjean-who-doesn’t-really-feel-like-Valjean-anymore. What Fantine says about him is all true. We aren’t given any reason to believe he changed at all from the man in Toulon. Instead of Fantine being hurt by ✨society✨ it’s Valjean himself who is the direct cause of her suffering. ( @pilferingapples explains this much better and in a lot more detail here!) Add on the fact that Davies established earlier on that Valjean was potentially attracted to Fantine and this totally messes up his motivation for helping her too and oof I hate it :,) Valjean has been turned into a dislikable character, Fantine’s hatred for him specifically is justified and Javert is becoming a sympathetic character! What did you do to my emotional support dad Jean Valjean Davies?? D:<

Hhhh the scene when Javert asks to be dismissed... it’s good!! The dialogue feels a lot better and Oyelowo is incredible and it’s as tense and dramatic as it should be! Except! It isn’t Javert asking to be dismissed. It’s Javert actually being dismissed. Because Valjean says nothing. No insistence that Javert remain as a police inspector. Nothing. That’s! Not! Jean Valjean! Davies! And how is that even going to work with the storyline is Javert just going to get his job back after Valjean confesses?? Is this the Bad End where Valjean never even goes to Aras and Javert looses his job as an inspector?? What are you doing here Davies?? Uuughh this isn’t actually a bad episode it’s just Valjean’s awful mischaracterisation that’s killing me here!!

To continue the thread of Valjean’s Awful Mischaracterisation, shouting at who I think is Sister Simplice?? Oof.

I know I mentioned the candlesticks being buried in the woods before but. Why?? Valjean has no candlesticks to throw into the fire so instead it’s Petit Gervais’ coin that takes their symbolic place. I know I said I was happy to have Petit Gervais included but that doesn’t mean I wanted his ghost to haunt Valjean and take the symbolic place of Myriel :,,) So yeah. Weird choice but go off I guess??

I still. Am kind of hopeful that perhaps Valjean’s characterisation might improve in later episodes? It’s only episode 2 right we’ve got 4 more to go! But at the same time I’m nervous that It’s Only Going To Get Worse :,) Anyway I’d die for Oyelowo’s Javert and he’s good.

Well there are my Hot Takes on what actually happened in the episode now it’s Animal Symbolism O’clock >:3

The bird symbolism is back baby!! And I really loved the way this was done! The bird is symbolic of Cosette. Working in Madeleine’s factory is how Fantine is able to send the Thenardiers money for Cosette and she makes a little bird while she’s at work. However when the bird is discovered, Fantine is told that if she keeps making things like that instead of working she’ll be fired. Foreshadowing! The discovery of Cosette is what gets her fired. I’m genuinely impressed with this this is some proper complex symbolism!

Bird symbolism can’t save you from your Valjean related sins Davies but Valjean being given Fantine’s jet bird after he fires her can also be seen as foreshadowing for Valjean meeting Cosette, but also a signal that Fantine can’t look after Cosette anymore and won’t be able to go and fetch her like she wanted because she doesn’t have her job anymore. 

There’s also the continued use of wild beast/non-human creature to refer to those outside of polite and civilised society when Javert asks Valjean “you would risk your good name to help a creature like that?” during Fantine’s arrest.

Still nothing to connect Javert to dogs though :/ But I’m still hopeful! Maybe next episode!

#Les Miserables #les mis #bbc miniseries #javert #jean valjean #fantine #monsters of our making

[officialthiamlibrary]

Welcome to another profile on Behind the Screens, giving you personal insight on who your favorite creators are and what they do when they aren’t wowing you with their creative ability.

On this profile, we’ll learn more about Tagan, also known in our pack as ThiamFresh or CaptainMintyFresh. The author of Airplanes, Sweet Talking, and a plethora of other Thiam prompts and stories, Tagan shares bits about her life, her writing process, her ideal road trip buddy, and her tips for creating tension-filled relationships.

Hi, Tagan! Let’s start off simple. Using a sentence, where the word count is either equal to or less than the number of letters in your two favorite Teen Wolf characters’ name, tell us about yourself. 

Theo Raeken + Derek Hale = 19: I’m Tagan. Love to write and act. I have a terrible sense of humour. Generally an accident prone mess. 

Talking about Teen Wolf characters, which five characters would be on your Ultimate Paintball/Laser Tag team and why? 

Theo, Malia, Allison, Liam, Stiles. Right, so I want Theo because like boy’s a master tactician/manipulator and he’s ruthless. Boy would 100% shoot 10 year olds to win and that’s the kind of person I want on my paintball team. Malia, again, she would have no qualms about just decimating the other team. Allison because she is an amazing shot; her role would be stealthing her way through the field to take people out/sniping everyone else while the ‘ground team’ does the closer stuff. Liam because he’s athletic and competitive. Stiles because he’s good at coming up with plans, plus...you know..he’d be really good bait for the other team.

Omg he would be! Now, before those characters blessed us with their existence, we found love and OTPs in other ones. What would you say were your first ships, way back in the day?

I’m not sure if this counts but Ant and Dec? I thought they were married but if not, then Monica and Chandler or Spike and Buffy. The first fanfiction I read was for Dramione.

And, how did you land in the Thiam Family? What about Theo x Liam drew you in?

I really liked their scenes in 6A (And some of the scenes in 5 but honestly, I hated five as a whole and watched it out of duty more than anything so I just didn’t have the enthusiasm to get into a ship.) Theo was the first bit of 6A that i actually really liked and a lot of that was just down to his sass and a lot of it was directed at Liam. And then the car key scene had me cackling with laughter. There scenes were just..fun in a way the rest of the season lacked, at least to me. So I was pretty invested in their whole dynamic and then there was ‘Being the bait’ and ‘do you know how to ride a horse’ and I was pretty sold. I went to search for Thiam content then but didn’t find any so just went back to writing the fics for other fandoms I was doing then and didn’t really mind.

But then 6B came out and the second I saw Theo on screen I was thinking “wow i can’t wait for him to see Liam and realised I was a bit more sold on them than I had planned to be and so I searched the tag again and went onto AO3 and read the few fics there but there really weren’t many. 

I’d gotten stuck on all the fics I was doing for other fandoms and so put up a request for prompts and Thiamkey gave me a bunch of headcanons and prompts and then people seemed to like them and started sending them in and then I just...talked to people and they were all lovely and we had all this amazing content coming out every week from the show and more people climbed aboard the ship. More fics being written, more prompts being sent.

Honestly, i just wanted to dip my toe in the water, write a fic or two while I waited for other people to write their own but then i suddenly found myself up to my neck in Thiam and not regretting a second of it.

Let’s jump into writing. Before we dive into the Thiam pool, if your writing process was a person, describe him or her. What does he or she do? Wear? Listen to?

My writing process as a person would probably be a toddler in a room full of toys but instead of playing with them, she just hiding under furniture and has five different conversations with five different imaginary friends at one time. She’s messy, with chocolate ice cream smeared over her face and her hair tangled into nots. She has no real idea about what’s happening but is excited none-the-less. Will have constant tantrums and cry then be excitedly squealing in the next second. ACDC would be playing in the background.

And your writing Kryptonite? How do you fight it?

Procrastination. I’m really bad at focusing on any one thing. Like, if i’m watching a new episode of a show, I’ll play solitaire in the corner of the screen because otherwise, I’m too unfocused to be focused. If that makes any sense. So when I’m writing I have to have a conversation open with someone or have just done a puzzle or something that’s fried my brain a bit so I can focus on writing, but I often end up getting too focused on the other thing and not getting any writing done.

As for how to fight it, I honestly have no idea? I just kinda flit around and hope for the best.

Well, clearly it works for you, so cheers! Do you write novels or short stories about original characters, as well? If so, can you share one you’re particularly passionate about?

Yes i dooo :) I write books. So I’ve written three so far and have like 12 in the works. (There’s a YA series in there which is why there’s so many) um..I’m not sure what i’m particularly proud of so i’m just pasting the first scene I found in my emails which is a scene from a zombie book I wrote called Autumn

Autumn Excerpt:

Sometimes I could forget, for a moment. When the sun was high in the sky and we were strolling through an open field. Weapons held loose in hand, rucksacks tossed over single shoulders. When we were throwing a bottle of water between us, talking about now pointless things, sharing stories and silly jokes. Laughs etched onto our faces as we'd forget all about it. About the past months and the horror we've seen, the people we've lost.

But then a stray would stumble into the field or we’d hear a distant scream and it would come rushing back. Hands quickly going back to locked tightly arrowed our weapons, smiles slipping from our faces.There were also times I couldn't forget, not even for a second. When we lay on rough roof tops, looking up at the dark sky willing to sleep, to get lost in a dream but I could hear it, the scratching of nails against brick, the snap of teeth hitting together and the low, guttural moans. At these times I’d think, this will be the last sound I ever hear. The huffing of the dead, the wet slapping and slurping as they tore and chewed on flesh.

On these nights I’d try to comfort myself, Say that that nightmare sound wouldn't be what I heard, I prayed for a gunshot, dreamed of that rather than the sounds bellow me. Because, these days, you go out one of two ways and a gunshot was everyone's silver lining.

When you mentioned YA series, my back straightened haha. What’s the title of your series? A synopsis for what it’d be about?

Oh god, so the longest one I have to find a new title to because it’s called Gifted and is about people with superpowers and now there’s that The Gifted show out about people with powers so that’s a bit awkward.

Me and my friend wrote a webseries when we were like 14/15 and although we only filmed a tiny bit of it, we actually had the whole thing planned out. Three seasons, 40 episodes and when we stopped working on it I was like “dude can i turn this into a book series?” and he was like “Yeah go ahead.” So I started writing a bit of it.

Gifted follows the story of three childhood friends as they get powers and deal with all the usual coming of age stuff while getting caught up with other people with powers. The first book will be done in alternating POV between the three friends, but that will slowly expand to incorporate the more important characters met along the way.

There’s lots of whump, teenagers dealing with depression and PTSD.  Basically i tried to write a new fairly light hearted story about kids coming of age and dealing with typical super power problems, but then accidentally put them through the ringer and turned it into a mass of character study and angst.

Final question before the barrage of Thiam questions lol. Characters often find themselves in situations they aren’t sure they can get themselves out of. When was the last time you were in a place like that and what did you do? 

The last time I found myself in a situation I couldn’t get out of was this summer and I cried a lot and then made scathing jokes to the reasons I couldn’t get out of the situation with a sunny smile that left the situations unaware that I was trying to figure out how to word a letter that told the situations they need never situate themselves anywhere near me ever again. (I have yet to send those letters.)

Wow, yeah, I’ve been there before. I hope you find the strength/courage to send those letters one day. Since we’re talking about personal experiences, would you say that any of your life has poured over into your Thiam writing?

The only one I can currently think of is the scene in Sweet Talking where Theo’s tired and listening to Liam, Mason and Corey hang out and thinking about how he’ll never really fit in.

My brother had a bunch of friends round before I wrote that chapter, or at least that part of that chapter. I moved away from my home town/all my friends (there’s literally 1 friend but whatever) 3 years ago and haven’t made any friends since. My brother keeps telling me his friends can be my friends but I‘m always the odd man out and it’s just really lonely so I was definitely channeling some inner loneliness into that.

Let’s say you could escape it all and venture on a major Airplanes-esque road trip. Who would you take (real or fictional)? Where would you go? And what is one shenanigan the two of you would run into?

The Queen. I just think it’d be really funny, not to mention you could get in like everywhere for free.

Honestly I think if the queen wasn’t available, I’d want to go with @thiamfanartlove. We’ve only been talking a little while, but we get on really well and I feel like we’d be equally ready to do a bunch of dumb stuff on our journey. I’d want to go around Europe. Hit up @thiamkey on the way and a few other people. 

We would 100% get into a fight at some point because neither of us have any chill. Like, someone would insult one of us and the other would just be down to fight and then it would turn into an all out brawl with us against the world. (We would lose, but it’d be a good story, at least.)

Truth. And one story we’d demand all the details on. You’ve talked a lot about some trivia, inspirations and spoilers for Airplanes in your livestream, which are linked here. So, my questions to you are more about the technique side of your writing, since it’s always amazing to learn from you all.  

You incorporate great character studies into your stories. What would you say are some tricks you use to portray what your characters are thinking?

I think, just finding a way to resonate with the character you’re writing. Even if it’s a character you think you have nothing in common with, I promise you somewhere there’s a memory you have that fits something they’ve felt. 

Liam’s POV was really weird to me at the start of airplanes so I chose to focus on something I could personally understand. Which was the need for freedom but anxiety at what it might cost the other people if you take it and that..kind of self hatred for the anger issues and wishing everything could change. You find a common thread and write that and soon enough you find yourself understanding the character, even in situations or with feelings you’ve never personally been affected by.

I don’t know if that makes any sense? But basically yeah, find common ground and that one scene you can write and then work from there.

And, the tension between your characters. How do you build that tension when it comes to relationships to avoid the instalove phenomenon?

ANGST! I dunno, the easiest way for me to slow down the instalove is the characters being more preoccupied with other stuff than their love lives. I think just..keeping it as real as possible. In my personal experience, love at first sight is rare. You can’t fall in love with someone until you know them so a lot of it is just..giving the characters these little moments that bring them closer together, making them have those conversations that you’d have with your best friend and just slowly drawing closer and closer together as you get more comfortable. Especially in Airplanes when it first starts Liam’s in a pretty bad place mentally. He’s really drained and feeling the weight of everything he’s been through so his mind was just so far away from romance that it seemed wrong to have him noticing any feelings for Theo until he was a bit happier and had healed a bit. Not to mention all the baggage the two have.

Having a character go through that process of questioning their sexuality is fun as well. I mean, Liam so far in canon has been written as straight and that’s a lot of fun to play with because you have that whole realisation process where he has to figure out that what he feels for Theo isn’t entirely platonic and that it’s different from how he feels about Mason or any of the other guys in the show and that can be a really challenging thing to do. Not even in the ‘Oh coming out is scary’ way just in the heteronormative straight until proven otherwise sort of way.

I mean i’m Bi and that took me like...21 years to realise? And it wasn’t that I didn’t have little crushes on girls before it was just I’d never noticed them for what they were. For me the only reason it clicked was because I realised I was Asexual and that my ‘well I don’t want to bone a girl so I’m not gay’ was kinda pointless thing when I realised that I didn’t even want to bone guys. It was just what was expected. Once I took that away and sat down and thought about it, it was suddenly very clear to me. But most characters won’t have that specific nudge so it can be a fairly long road.

Just, to stop instalove think about what they’re going through, think about how you fall in love because the realisation may be instant but the build up is usually gradual. You notice it in one dumb moment but to actually get there, you have a long list of bits where you get to know the other person and you deal with your own personal issues and stuff.

For building tension, it’s again just building up that relationship. You start off small with touches that make the heart speed up before they’re more comfortable and grow closer. Honestly, the best way is just to focus on the friendship first and the romantic relationship second because then you get the familiarity and that’s when you can start having your characters realise there’s something else there and that suddenly makes all these little touches a lot more terrifying and confusing as they try to figure out what it means. 

That’s perfect though. And the gritty realization that most people have about those they’ve fallen in love with since they’ve usually gotten close to that person by that point is terrifying and emotional, so I can now see where that tension comes from! Anything else you’d like to say, in general. The floor is all yours.

Umm okay. I am always accepting prompts but it willlllll take me a while to get to them because i have quite a few and don’t really go chronologically but more where the inspiration hits and sometimes, like with airplanes, that’s my own story rather than a prompt but my ask box is always always open for more prompts.

Upcoming works, I have no idea. Right now, I just want to finish airplanes and then see where I go after that. I do want to play around in the airplanes universe a little bit more after the fic is done with, delving into Theo’s POV for some of the missing scenes and I also might do a short pack scene where you have everyone realise Theo and Liam are gone in the morning in Idaho.

The reason I like sharing my work is because I like the idea that maybe I can help someone and maybe that sounds dumb--but to me--reading is a major escapism technique. I used it a lot when I was younger and this fic and the comments I’ve gotten have just made me so insanely happy because it seems like, maybe for a few people, I’ve reached my goal in helping someone through a bad day or to relax and just forget their worries for a while. And that’s the whole reason I like writing and that’s the first time I’ve ever really felt that and I literally cried when someone told me my updates helped their shitty week before because...that’s the whole reason I want to get into writing or acting as a career and to see I’d achieved that goal was just awesome.

If you’ve sent me a nice message on tumblr and I haven’t replied, it’s not because I didn’t read it or I don’t like it or whatever you might think. It’s because i’m a hoarder and now have a folder wth screen shots of all the nice messages in it, so that I can look at them when I’m having a nice day.

Really, I just want to say that I see everything you guys send or make or comment and I appreciate every single one and just thank you. Life’s been tough for me lately but getting to write for a fandom as accepting and kind as this one is really really amazing and your messages have picked me up when I’ve felt worthless so many times. Just keep being awesome Thiam fandom! And thank you for being so welcoming and supportive of everyone that joins.

Aww thank you! We’re so happy to have you in our fandom and to have Airplanes, your prompts, and other stories. I, and others have shared the same sentiment, agree with you that this fandom is amazing and so supportive of one another that it almost seems surreal! So, go us, lovely pack! 

To finish us off, what’s next for you? Both in life and in the writing world?

For life, I’m hoping to get some acting roles for student films and stuff. Get myself a laptop so I can write more and a camera (eventually) so I can film the scripts I’ve wrote. I also want to send some of my books to publishers and generally try to make a life for myself out of the two things I love doing.

I have a bunch of books I’m working on and I really want to finish writing my YA series because it seems like it could be quite fun once I get a bit more into it.

With that, BTS presents ThiamFresh to you! As always, you can keep the conversation going; respond to any of her thoughts, ask more questions, send a prompt, or simply swing by for a chat with Tagan anytime. To dive into her works, check out both her AO3 and Tumblr. 

Tumblr: thiamfresh

AO3: captainmintyfresh

Ask Box: thiamfresh ask

A huge thank you to Tagan for being so open to answering our questions and sharing her tips on character stories and building tension. 

Some great news, for everyone who enjoys this series, we’ve decided to run Behind the Screens every Thursday. And, we’d love your help in doing it! 

Have a Thiam Creator you fan over, from any platform (AO3, Tumblr, Wattpad, Instagram, FFN, etc). Please send us their names. Bonus points if you include any questions you’re dying to ask them. Likewise, if you as the creator, would like to be a part of the Behind the Screens series, give us a shout too! We’d love to get to know you, as well.

Hasta Luego!

#thiam #behind the screens #teenwolf #thiamfresh #officialthiamlibrary

[aabikeadventure]

Day 3 and 4. By Adam.

Hello friends! So day 3 was pretty uneventful so we skipped a day of blogging. The hurricane was supposed to roll through with some heavy winds and rain so instead of biking we decided to take our hosts up on their offer to hunker down in their barn while the storm passed. It was a pretty sweet setup and it felt silly to risk getting caught in a storm when we had a giant empty barn to ourselves with a bathroom, sink, wifi and electricity. Oh, and they had a giant garden with tomatoes and corn and zucchini and other tasty vegetables that they told us to help ourselves to. To try and get to telling you about today i'll try to make my summary of Tuesday quick.

We woke up and did yoga in their yard with the neighbor who leads weekly yoga classes. She took a liking to us and offered us a room in her second, unused home next door while the storm was coming through. We were grateful to have a place to stay but the interior was like a 1960's timewarp nightmare plus a yoga studio??? We kinda wished we just stayed in the barn next door with all the good vibes over there... The mattress was awful and we got a horrible nights sleep so we got a rough and late start to the day, getting on our bikes around 9.

We biked into Portsmouth which is a really cute little town! We didn't get to see much of it, but had our breakfast at a nice park on the water. We have been eating really well and mealtimes are definitely a highlight to our days. We then biked through kittery and then up through some beautiful roads with light traffic. And the best part was as soon as we crossed into Maine we were welcomed with a cool ocean breeze that gave us life. Like 10⁰ cooler out of no where! If felt so good. Amalia saw a swim spot that looked nice on a little ocean inlet and wanted to jump in. Im more picky than she is about swimming so I got my feet wet in the very cold water while she swam around and got out with goose bumps, but with a smile on her face. Omg. I have so much to write but it's already 1040 at night and Im moving my fingers as fast as they can go!

Ok so we biked up the coast. More beautiful roads. Then through York, an INSANE touristy beach spot. It was like covid wasn't even real with people packed like sardines on the beach.

It was pretty overwhelming to be around and though I wanted ice cream, we figured there would be more places to stop that weren't so crazy. So we skip doodly dood the fack outta there.

More beautiful roads and it was time for lunch. I saw a beautiful old church with a sprawling shady lawn and plenty of privacy on the side of the road and it was a perfect pick. We were both so tired from no sleep that we ended up curbing out daily mileage goal and spent around 3 hrs making lunch, napping and hanging out. The weather was beautiful and it felt like what we needed.

Then through Ogunquit. Another densely packed tourist trap. Now out of water, we had no choice but to stop. I got us water and some ice cream at a little shop and we sat and people watched as we enjoyed our frozen treat. I love people watching and it's been so long since I've seen many people out and about it felt like overload!

It was now nearing 7 and we needed to find a place to camp before it got dark. Amalia felt a little concerned about finding a good spot since its such a dense touristy area, but I knew we would find something. The bike route took us off route 1 and through a very vacationer heavy beach neighborhood. Things weren't looking so promising and we were hoping maybe we could use a little corner of someone's yard, yet how to make this happen we didn't know. While checking our map a man chatted us up and asked about our tour and talked excitedly about his love of biking and told us of some good trails in Rhode island I didn't know about! We tried to drop a hint that we were looking for a place to crash but he was either 6 beers too deep or just didn't catch our drift. I cut the conversation short when we suggested an RV campground down the road.. oh well. On we went.

And then it happened. Half a mile down the road we biked past a house that looked like it had been here for a while. Not like 90% of the other homes which looked newly remodeled rentals or vacations mansions. An older couple was on the front porch and the man waved and said "hi kids" as we biked past. Amalia and I looked as each other and simultaneously knew we should turn back and see if they could help. Ernie and Sarah are their names and they are SO cute and sweet. Ernie walked is to their beautiful back yard with overflowing garden, wind chimes and hammock and told us to set up where ever we liked. After a moment of internal deliberation he also extended us an invite to use the bathroom and shower in their rear building. What an angel. He said cute things like " I know it's covid but this is how things are supposed to be"- referencing the warmth between strangers that was unfolding. And " we aren't crazy people, we're just old people, you'll be safe here". Ernie grew up in Maine and he and Sarah have lived in this house that belonged to Sarah's parents for twenty years. We set up camp and walked down to the ocean to catch the last of sunset. I'm filled with so much warmth at this experience of bike touring. Amalia told me that it restores your faith in humanity and it really is true. When we got back to our tent there were 2 cold bottles of water waiting for us 😭.

Tomorrow we hope to make it to make it to Brunswick. Though Amalia's goal of 70 miles a day has yet to be met. If we actually get started early it is very doable, though I've been having a lot of problems with comfort which has been slowing us down. My brooks cambium saddle is awful and no matter how I adjust it there's way too much perineal pressure. And the weight on my hands, even with gloves is so much that I'm starting to get hand numbness. I'm kinda bummed that my newly built up touring bike might not be the right fit. Hopefully I just need some different bars and saddle. Amalia and I might switch bikes bc her riding position is much more upright with her bars. Bon nuit all! Good night! Xoxo

[survivenovascotia]

Episode 1 - I have no idea what I'm doing. - Eric

Everyone’s pretty active. Certain people know each other and I’m pretty much a newborn deer in the ORG community. Chrissa says “I’ve added pretty much everyone” as a contact but didn’t add me. So then I added a few people and no response or people added me back. Like my god I could go home for being a newbie. No hun.

I have no idea what I'm doing. It's honestly been so long I'm just trying to talk to everybody and get to know them. I don't remember when the time to start alliances are and other things and it's a whole mess but we are working with it!!

Russell deserves all the wins

So I think Austin and I may have started an alliance. He seems pretty nice and I believe that he wants to be loyal especially since it's only be 2 hours since the game started. I'm hoping tomorrow us two can find some other people to make a larger alliance. I get good vibes from Heather and Chips specifically. Chips I knew before I left the community a while back, and I know he has a lot of passion for ORGs which I think is very valuable in an ally. I also really like Heather because we are very similar people. We are both starting college, both just returned to ORGs. It just kind of felt meant to be. Obviously I have to listen to who Austin likes too. I think when I played orgs in the past, my errors were both not making the alliances soon enough, and also trying to control them. If I want to win, I have to play differently.

Im BACK. Imma make this quick. Welcome to Cast First Night Impression Vibes Coco~ Havent Spoken to him too much yet since it was 4AM when things came out for him. Seems sweet. Says he played on tengaged and zwooper. Stephen~ We played in the past. I think 2 games, one where I was completely against him and one where I tried to be on his side then everyone voted him out early. I think both were atomic games. He messaged me right away since he knew I took a long boi break which was nice. Gotta talk to him a bit more. Austin~ Seems pretty chill, we had convo about horror stuff and atm talking about Winners at War (I'm not gonna spoil anything. Don't yall worry) I can definitely see potentially working with him. Livingston~ Talked for a little bit. Shared a little bit of theatre stuff with each other since he does a lot of tech for his school where as I do onstage and offstage things. There is potential. Dylan~ We talked a bit. Im vibing. I hope he is too. talked more music tastes and all. POTENTIAL Eric~ Eric and I are one. We were talking and realized we are the same person and are the voices in each others head. I definitely want to work with him the most out of anyone so far. Splat/Evan~ Pretty chill tried talking to him. I feel a connection but like not like the biggest. I think things could definitely look up in the future tho Chips~ CHIIIIIIIPS. I love Chips. I didn't talk to him as much as I should have my previous game with him like 2 YEARS AGO. We talked a lot today and I think this game I can possibly work with him. Glo~ We played a big brother org together toward the beginning of my break, which was a rough time in my life and why I stick to survivor games. She messaged me and I messaged back, but I have yet to get another message from her yet. We will see in the morning. FOR IDOL SEARCHES: I checked an I am gonna write down the paths I take. I got a deadend this time.

GLO GLO is spilling the tea . I have only done live chat with DYLAN so far but OMG we connected and he reminded me of two players I loved and do to this day one for over 10 year the other for 5 years who are close to me to this day. Me and Dylan connected talked about life game laughed shared stories and somehow FINAL 2 has evolved and I am super happy about this.

Ok this is the most social I’ve ever been at the start of a game I called Gloria since we’re both I Love Money alumni & we hella bonded ??????? She’s so sweet 🥰🥺🥰🥺 we literally talked for two full hours on cast reveal day, wow. I would love to work with her far into this game, maybe even to the end 🤭 if we could do that Stephen is cool, I’d like to work with him. He’s loyal & smart & good at challenges so ✌🏻 Eric & I had a very interesting dynamic in middle earth, but I think we were able to smooth over that together Evan also seems really cool, I just met him but we’ve already switched friend codes so it’s getting pretty serious also glo was like ‘You better not betray me for a man you have a crush on’ and I was like uhhh I’m emotionally unavailable don’t worry glo you’re safe

I feel less stressed atm. Chatted to a couple people. Nothing major, no alliances made (or if add production to it). I hope I can continue manoeuvre my way to find a footing in this alliance otherwise I’ll be the first boot and be annoyed at myself. Just worried about past connections and my no connections.

Heyyy, first confessional of the season!! So the tribe seems pretty chill, no one i hate, a few i know. Dylan and Heather might be an issue if they hold grudges? But i doubt it. What I’m really looking for healre is a solid group of 4, I could see chips and heather being a part of that as they arent goats, but who knows. The idea is to group with people who will play and take the heat off me, instead of goats who might gang up on me at end game

Personally coming into this game as a new player, one of my biggest concerns were past relationships. So I talked with my secret alliance member Choo about who he has played with in the past, and he mentions Austin. After doing that, I ask Austin who he has played with in the past, and he tells me that he has never played with anyone before. Immediately I knew he was bullsh*tting. However, I really need to keep my mouth shut that Austin lied about this to me, but when the time comes, I'll be sure to expose his ass.

My strategy in this game is to create as many options for me to take as possible to get to the end. The way I'm doing that is by playing the "clueless 16 year old" card so that people see me as naive, when in reality, I'm probably just as ready to backstab, lie, cheat, steal just as much as any of these people are, if not more. So far it seems to be working and I sense that a lot of people feel as though they can trust me. But I will take the option that best suits me.

Immediately I was able to create a secret alliance with Coco, due to a mutual friend, being Evanw919. Evan is one of my best friends irl and was actually the person that introduced me to this game. After talking to Coco a lot, I feel as though he is someone I can trust, and I do intend to go as far as I can with him... unless it's in my best interest to take him out if necessary. I may intend on trusting him, but I don't intend to let friendships impact my decision making.

First day went great I feel ! Everyone is super nice so far and I hope we can win a few challenges together.  COCO IS HERE! I love coco and hope we can go far together already . I have trusted him before and it turned out really good for me.  Glo is a sweetheart and gotta love her. Livingston is nice and so is chips tho I feel they may need to go down the road.  Stephen and me have talked a lil in the community so I feel I can maybe trust him . I'm excited and nervous to be playing again but ready to go ! 

I like this cast and like the people on my tribe i hope they are not too annoyed hearing about my internet but they have to know what they might be dealing with obviously it only happens at certain times depending how many people are on the internet with rogers, so if i get voted out cause of it i won't be mad, but also i am hoping for a lockdown end sooner than later so we can switch providers. as John Coffey said it's a very bad time to be having these internet problems.

Okay! The season is officially on! Not much to report about yet but I want to make a confessional right now just in case I forget to do it later. Gotta avoid those strikes! So far all I know about my tribe is that John Coffey and I briefly played together in a previous game, though we weren’t ever on the same tribe, and Chrissa and I played together at some point though I can’t remember anything about when we did. I’m looking forward to the challenge and I hope we can crush it!

I have managed to talk to everyone on my tribe and I definitely feel good vibes from most apart from maybe Livingston who doesn't really seem interested in talking to me. What is interesting that Evan asked me if I had known anyone from previous game(s) and I told him I knew Austin and Livingston BUT Austin told him that he knew NONE. So now Evan doesn't trust him but trusts me. I really like  Evan,Eric, Heather, Austin and also Glo and Dylan. I'd like to work with them but mostly with Evan, Eric, Heather and Austin.

Right now what I'm trying to do is to get these people caught in a lie, but I intend to save the lie to expose them when the time is right. People say one of the worst mistakes you can make in survivor is playing too hard too fast. However, playing hard quickly can be gotten away with if you are sneaky about it and don't get caught. I'm trying to get these people to think I'm incompetent as they aren't even aware they are being manipulated

2ND Confessional OK so far my 2 favorites I have talked to are Dylan and if the truth is being told we are in 2 man alliance. @nd I have messaged with most is CoCo real name David. He said he is knew to orgs and is afraid of alliances happening which probably is true. Dylan and I both like CoCo so we are bring him in as our 3rd hopeful in a possible alliance. CoCo actually said he wanted to work with me so hopefully I have him and Dylan watching my back as I will them if they stay loyal but if they run their mouth goodbye quick if needed. So far I am happy with these two and have no idea what other two I hope to round up. Both Dylan and I agree about getting CoCo with us and hope it don't backfire with a new player to orgs.

I’ve chatted to Kevin and acted like I’m paranoid (I am a wee bit but I’m definitely adding spice) and he’s like “If I hear your name I’ll let you know” which is what I’m looking for. If I can play a ditzy “I’m just happy to be here!” act I think it’ll make the more strategic players come to me and make them act like I’m a pawn in their chess game. (I have good episode title material Yass). Also I’m gay.

I love music video challenges, but everyone seems to not like them so I am a bit nervous. I got closer to Coco and I love him!! I definitely wanna work with him and he said he feels comfortable with me Austin and Eric, which same so I right now feel good but its only been a day. I hope we get a good score, although we already know one person who would prefer to not be in it oof.

The idol hunt, love the idea. Me and Darcy are working together and telling each other where we went. My first way was a flop, not helpful. Darcy’s first route was T2, R, L, R, R and went out and my first route was shorter. I think if we keep going this way we’ll get to the idol soon. I told Darcy to go T2, R, L, R, L, L as I think that will bring us closer.

They voted Call Me Maybe. I want to die but I want to win more so HEY I JUST MET YOU

Have I confessed too much in the past few hours? Nah. So Coco and I are planning to work together and we seem to be on the same wavelength and he seems to trust me. He shared about his idol hunt and I think we are gonna try and map out together different tunnels. I mentioned how I dont think anyone would have the idol yet, but I could be wrong.  We also talked about hoping to get Austin and Eric in to potentially work together, which I am down for as long as we can get the numbers. I do think I have to feel out more before I do anything drastic as we LITERALLY HAVENT DONE A CHALLENGE YET. Any who, I think I am having a decent social game at the moment, but you know thats just my point of view. I hope no one hates me yet (thats for later). I wanna do a tribe call but Im lowkey nervous that chaos will ensue or it will be too quiet for some reason. I mainly want it to form more bonds with people, and possibly play a jackbox game of fibbage to see who the best liar is (it is a science).

Looking at my options for a four-man super-team power-rangers/voltron alliance, my instinct is to team up with Chips, Heather, and Dylan. While one benefit is I have some prior experience with each of these guys, the main reason is that each of these have made a consistent effort to talk to me and we have some form of rapport. Glo has also tried to talk to me but like, I know nothing about her? Its been hard to have a clear conversation. The others are fine, we’ll see how we go.

should i aim for chips-heather-dylan for a 4 alliance? or chips-heather-eric?? i know its early but this kind of alliance should be i think, at the same time though being pushy can lead to being seen as a threat... maybe i should wait to see if we loose immunity

The tea is that today Evan told me he had formed a secret alliance called "Florida" w Heather. I am okay w it because I trust both of them! We made an agreement that Evan would check tunnel 1, I would do 2 and Heather would check 3 for the idol. I hope I managed to put myself in a decent position. That's all for now I guess.

So last night we decided to pick Call Me Maybe as our song for the Lip Sync challenge which is iconic and the pretty people tribe will win!! Today was a little bit more lowkey. I spent a majority of the day finishing off my persuasive speech assignment. Towards the afternoon though, Heather talked to me about how we could work together in the game and I was REALLY glad for that. I was intending on talking to her anyway about starting an alliance with her. Earlier, Austin and I confirmed our strategical bond by making an alliance and talking about who we would want to join us. I said Heather and Austin said Coco. I really like both so I'm glad. Heather told me that she was told about the 4, so it's nice to see that everyone's on the same page. Hopefully we win the challenge, but at the moment I feel good about the group that's beginning to form.

My one fear in this challenge (aside from public humiliation) is that I think our songs a little basic and too over done? We’ll find out how the judges feel I guess

I don’t have much new to report other than Mac saying he wants to work with me in the game. So I’ve got that going. John’s a fantastic guy and I’d love to get something going with him too. That’s a far cry from a majority in this game but it’s a start. I’m hoping we can pull through and win this challenge so we don’t have to worry at all about going to tribal first. I’m not confident enough in my position in the game right now that I’d be able to survive a tribal.

Soooooo a alliance finally started with me eric , evan, heather,and coco which I'm 100% down for with the time being . I really like everyone tho so I hope we win this first challenge . Even tho I really hate music videos . I'm awkward and never know what to do . Hopefully my tribe can carry me by with this one .

Eric tells me about this 5 person alliance plan, with himself, Austin, Heather, Coco, and myself. What I tell him, is that I am completely comfortable going with his plan and that I feel blessed to be a part of the group. However, what Eric doesn't know, is that I was the one who initially created this plan. There's a core secret 3 person alliance here with Coco, Heather and myself, along with two semi-trustworthy guys in Eric and Austin. The best part about this, is that Eric and Austin have no idea that they are on the bottom of the alliance. In fact, they think they were the ones to instigate it.

So tis' 10:53 PM on a april 12th night and the alliance between myself, Heather, coco, austin and evan is official. Coco really wanted evan involved and honestly evan is really cool and kind of a mini-me so I'm fine with him being involved. Austin and Heather also like evan so everything's good. I hope we win the challenge because I like the whole tribe but the others haven't talked with me quite as much. Glo is nice but when she dms she, she explains herself like Im silently disproving of her which is weird because she can do whatever she wants idc she's a queen. Chips is nice and we talked the most out the other 4, but sometimes I don't understand what he's saying. I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily, but I just feel more comfortable around the other 4. Stephen and Dylan are nice as well and I think they are cool, but we just haven't really got to talk that much. I really hope we win the challenge because I don't want to vote anyone out but we will see.

Wow ok Im in an alliance. Me like that. I named us the prettier people because we call our tribe the pretty people tribe. I really like the people in it as it includes Austin, Eric, Evan and Coco. Evan wants to make Coco Evan and I the core 3 in the group, however, I feel closest to Coco and Eric as of right now. Lets hope we need to talk game more LATER since I want to win the challenge rather than vote someone off. Im hoping I can somehow get alliances with the Eric Austin side, making us a core 3, and the Coco Evan side making us a core 3.

Oop Stephen is trying to form a tight 3 person alliance, today is the rise of the game play

So i decided on forming an alliance of three instead, smaller but a bit less intimidating, and I let Heather choose the third for diplomacy, she chose austin who wouldnt be my first choice but still good. Hopefully this is a good first step.

Alliance 1: The Prettier People: Me, Coco, Austin, Eric, Evan Alliance 2: The Chatty Trio: Me, Austin, Stephen (Stephen mentioned sides with Livingston and Chips as well so Id say they are affiliations) Alliance 3: Unnamed as of right now and yet to form a chat: Me, Coco, Evan I guess Austin sees us working well together so Id say that's definitely a plus so woo This happened very quickly. It has been quite an Easter in Canada

Sunshine and myself had a nice long Skype call last night getting to know each other! Darcy was there for much of it as well but it was mainly Sunshine talking. It feels really good to build a bond early on and I’m hoping we can keep that up and work together in this game. Right now Jessie seems to be the least active person on the tribe. She doesn’t really speak much in tribe chat and I’ve only had a brief conversation with her in PMs.

WE WON! Call me maybe more like Call us the winners BABY WOOOOOOOOO

Hey so I just got off an almost hour long call with Glo... and she is terrifying!!! Seriously if it wasn’t for the fact I’m 80% sure I couldn’t do it I’d want her out first. HOWEVER We Won!!!!! party party. While early tribals can be good I feel like I’m doing well enough in the bonding not to need it.

WE WON WOOOO. I was so worried!! We can all live in peace for a day Bless Up

Russell deserves to win

Well we lost the first immunity challenge which is a huge hit to morale. My only goal for the next 24 hours is to just convince people to not write my name down. I don’t feel like I’ve bonded as much as I should have with some people but I think I can keep my name off the block. I’ve already spoken with Mac, Darcy and Kevin and they’ve all agreed to work with me. So that’s 4 of the 5 majority there. I had a long call with Sunshine last night so I think I can get him on my side as well. I should be okay. But things can change so quickly in this game. As for who I’d like to vote out. Jessie has been the least active in tribe chat. But Dan is who I’ve spoken with the least out of everyone. Kevin being on exile island makes this vote both easier and more difficult. There can’t be a rock draw. Someone is getting straight up voted out.

I asked the chat if anyone had animal crossing & Evan was like ‘chip does’ literally WHAT how close are y’all ?? Evan said this was his first ever ORG. Also he straight up asked me who I knew already & who was trustworthy. Like HUH. We played smash bro’s together tho after that so I think we’re chill Anyways, I like everyone on the tribe. Glo wants to form a threesome w us & Coco which I am down for. Heather & Eric both scare me 😟 I always get so paranoid at the start of orgs I’m So glad we won that challenge bc I would be so scared of going home 🥺🥺

in alliance with Dylan who stole that video and challenge we won. My power went out and neighborhood destroyed with storm all I could do was in house by window scene and was worried I wouldn't get anything submitted but I did get something in thank goodness but I sucked. I have talked to Stephen and have talked to Chips and like both of them. I like Coco also but time difference is killing us trying to chat live but we will make it happen. I am proud of Dylan in that video so much. I want to talk live with Austin cause I have a feeling I will like  him but time will tell. Glad did not have to vote anyone out and i was scared it might have been me. We only won by a point so that was close call for sure. I still try to message and reach people but getting some to talk live is hell. Only one I talk game with is Dylan and nothing heavy yet. lol

At the immunity challenge today, I believe I did a very good job staying in the middle in terms of how much work got done. I didn't do all the work, but I did enough so that I wouldn't get targeted for doing nothing

There's no denying that online survivor attempts to be fairly similar to how survivor is on T.V. However, there are still some very key differences between the two. One very important distinction is how much easier it is to get away with lying. This is because for one, they can't read your face, and two, the person lying has time to think about what they want to say before they say it. These two factors can make it much easier to lie compared to real life. Right now I'm lying to almost everyone except for Coco, who I feel would likely be a goat who I can take to the end. Don't get me wrong, I am ready to play this game very hard and do what it takes to win, regardless of if my tribe mates see that or not.

Gloria is lowkey weirding me out a little bit. Why does this old lady want to video chat with a 16 year old boy that she's never had a SINGLE conversation with? Why is she consistent continuing to ask about it? These are questions I do have, but in the game of survivor, sometimes you can't always know the answer. If I did ask, I could potentially find myself in hot water and cause bad vibes from her, so as of now I just need to keep declining her requests to video chat until I send her old ass home.

So coming into this game, I see Kevin and Darcy on my tribe, and I have a relatively okay history with them. However, Kevin is the only one that is really talking to me right now other than Sunshine. Sunshine is sooo TALKATIVE AND ANNOYING!!!!! OMFG HE WONT SHUT UP! However he is good in challenges, so he needs to stick around. honestly I have had no game talk with anyone as of yet, so I dont have much to write about.

Hey sis, not much has happened which is worrying. Me and Darcy haven’t found the idol which is annoying. I talked to a couple people about the vote and some hadn’t made their mind and I said Chrissa or Jessie as the vote. The lack of people talking is scary tbqh.

I hate losing cause judges are blind they are wrong anyway on a personal note if i am still in the game at this point my internet should be running better cause my mom finally gave in and called bell to switch. But i am gonna be real no one has messaged me so idk how safe i feel.

Me being able to get Chrissa out first vote. WOW COME ON NEWBIE! Snakes, they like to stay hidden. Blend in. If a person sees a snake slithering around hissing all the time, people will react negatively to the snake. But if the snake has been blending into it’s surroundings, the person wont realise. I don’t know if I’d call myself a villain or anti-hero. The reason why I want Chrissa out is because she has a bad social game and I want to keep around people who I’ve bonded with. (I swear I’m kind in real life!)

It’s certainly looking like the vote is going to be Chrissa tonight. I’m a little sad at that since she’s a genuinely wonderful person. Something about this game is just making me super depressed. Everyone’s been so nice and friendly. Everyone has put effort into the game. But Chrissa’s name was the first one thrown out and it’s just sticking. I can’t even think of another name to throw out instead. This game is going to be rough to play I think. Usually I’m not so invested in my other tribe mates but I would truly like for all of us to win this game.