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#I am going to live well out of spite
isfjmel-phleg · 2 months
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year
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Strong choice for the Voyager writers to make TNG-Q a misogynistic creep. It didn’t pay off at all and actively made me hate his character but hey, it was strong.
#His comment about Chakotay's tattoo was also kind of racist so that's -chefs kiss- awful#I literally would have murdered VOY-Q myself just to spite TNG-Q#Absolutely no moral dillema in this episode for me sorry Janeway - let the man die he's lived literally since the universe was created#TNG-Q is giving such strong 'I'm not gay bc I love men - I'm gay bc I hate women. We're not the same :)' vibes#Tuvok got promoted to 'ship lawyer' because he's somewhat familiar with asylum practices and approves of suicide ok I love this episode#I really do like this episode even though I hate TNG-Q so much#I really can't believe people ship him and Janeway together...what's going on....#It really did have to be Janeway v Tuvok on this one for reasons I can't describe right now but it's so right#Tuvok's 'I'm as curious as you are Captain' ...the crux of it#this moral dilemma is SO flimsy to me HEHEHE there was a TINGE of maybe SOMETHING when TNG-Q said that since Q are immortal one dying could#have disasterous consequences but then RIGHT AFTER Tuvok was like 'Right. But Don't You Execute People?' and the answer is YES!???#HEHEHE WHA T!?? WHY DIDN'T YOU WRITE THAT THEY ALSO JUST GET IMPRISONED FOREVER????#Thi s whole court is out of order....#YEAAH HEHE I fucking LOVE when star trek says 'you know this history? it was actually aliens. yeaaah aliens did that. v_v'#SNRKEHEH THE TERRIBLE PHOTOSHOP JOB ON RIKER'S P HOTO#Janeway's God Complex on full display in this episode and I love it even as I disagree with her 1000% <3#Tuvok agreeing with her is also why they work so well together <3 I am also disagreeing with him 1000% <3 peace & love#Q. You are NOT blushing. Your lips are GRAY. You are a CORPSE.#the surrealist symbolism of the Q continum ... VERY good I LOVE surrealist symbolism ~!!!!!#OH GOOD TNG-Q graduated from misogynist to creepily insistent harasser.....#'I never did anything like that for Picard' we GET it writers we get it SO much that you DON'T want Q to be GAY#you' re leaning TOO FAR in the other direction he's LITERALLY the worst guy in a gender studies class now#If TNG-Q tried to caress my cheek that man's losing a finger at LEAST. BYE.#So funny of VOY-Q to be like 'ok I'll think about it :)' and then immediately uber eats some poison#hilarious and a delight to the end VOY-Q -salutes him-#aaaand that's all for this#for all the TNG-Q lovers I'm so sorry for whatever they did to your man uhh I've only seen Voyager so sorry for the slander but please try#to see him through my eyes v_v#liveblogging
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joshooop · 11 months
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Welcome back to “Let’s Make Siggy’s Life a Living Hell”, the game show where I put dear old Sigma through the ringer for no other reason then “I just kind of felt like it.”
Part of a lovely smorgasbord of colorful characters, the rough sketch of lovely Sigma here is one of six yanderes in a little x reader fic I started as a fun little project (that quickly spiraled out of control, surprise surprise). Can you tell what kind of yandere he is? ‘Cuz I sure can’t. Please, I wrote the thing Iliveineternalsuffering—
Allow us to take a closer look at his character!
Sigma:
“The Lit Fuse”
Nicknames:
‘“It’”
‘Siggy’
Physicality:
Height: 5’4
Age: 21
Hair colour: A platinum blonde
Eye colour: Something unfeasible
Profile:
No wonder he’s always angry. He got named Sigma, of all things.
Not even Sigma male, like VLR Sigma. So the equivalent of an old man.
I know that I’m the only one who gets this reference, but I’m keeping it in because I think it’s funny.
Constantly short.
He’s the most Tsundere to ever breathe. Can’t go thirty seconds without insulting someone he cares about.
He’s exceptional at driving others away. He tends to bottle up his emotions until they explode, and he isn’t good at dealing with the consequences. This often leads to him feeling worse then when he began, which he then internalizes, which then stews,
Also our resident demolitions expert.
…It’s a hobby of his. (Dio) (Okay okay, I’ll stop with the VLR references. Carrot an author have a moment of joy?) (Yeah, I’m no Zero Jr.) (STOP)
He took the ‘destructive tendencies’ speeches to heart–why stop at emotionally destructive tendencies, he logiced. Keep stepping forward, he figured. So he went into electrics and mechanics.
Now, I’m not saying he’s crazy enough to carry explosives everywhere he goes. Except for the fact that he is and that’s exactly what I’m saying. He insists that it’s a safety precaution, that it doesn’t mean anything, but he would absolutely utilize it as a threat.
Playlist:
Higher–Lemaitre
SUCK IT UP–Rev cover
Personal Playlist:
Riot–Hollywood Undead
Here’s the link to the story if you want it lol, idk go wild—
(There is not much there 🕴️)
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splatoonmaster69 · 2 years
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#vent tw#on one hand i dont think ill live past highschool#like im not sure ill attempt again but idk#on the other i dont wanna br another statistic#but st the same time im not spiteful enough to stay alive just cuz i dont wanna be a percent#and like theres really no reason for me to live like#im horrible at school so university is gonna end up out of the question whether i like it or not#which means ill need to get a job cuz dad says when we graduate we either go into further education or start paying rent#but knowing me ill end up yelling st my boss or something so ill just get fired#and really like its not like i have anything to contribute to the world other than being the shittiest cashier ever#im bad at like everything i do#and even the things im 'good' at like drawing i can only do every few months#the most drawings i got out near eachother were all simple chibis and they were exhausting#i can cook but i cant control the stove temperature or anything well so when i make food its a coinflip if its over or under cooked#im decent at gaming but not good enough to win tournaments and not funny enough for youtube or twitch#theres nothing i can do well enough and consistent enough for me to do anything at all with my life#even if there was the world is burning half the worlds countries are going to shit and im too cowardly and lazy to try and do shit about it#so really what am i even doing#wasting my dads money and energy? being a burden on the education system because you cant teach someone who wont learn?#distracting everyone around me from things that could actually be important?#theyd all be better off if i never existed#and yknow the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago the second best time is today#sure theyre attached to me now but theyll get over it. every day where im not dead is just ruining things for other people#man. first day unmedicated again and im already like this lmao#i wish i was back on the blood pressure ones not because they actually fixed me but because then id be too tired to think again#i could just wake up dizzily get out of bed fall walk downstairs and fall asleep on the couch before my legs got too tired#sure it felt horrible at the time like i couldnt do anything but stleast i had a reason for not being able to do anything#and theres something comforting about popping four pills in ur mouth knowing theyre the thing making you feel so bad every day#plus if id stayed on them i wouldntve had to go thru the withdrawal and that sucked
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stillfruit · 2 years
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i need someone to punch me or run me over with a car or something i don’t care just anything i’m sick and tired
#i'm not functioning at all i hate this what am i even trying for#or i mean i'm functioning in the sense that my apartment is clean i get exercise i cook my own meals etc i can go through the motions blind#but the instance i have to Do Something uni related i just shut down nothings working and like in general as well i just don't care anymore#i have so many opportunities to meet my friends and ppl from uni but i just can't be bothered it's tiring and i don't care#yesterday i finished my meetings in the ed clinic and the doctor asked about the psychologist thing for other things#but i was like eh idk if it's gonna do anything and i know it's a dumb attitude to have but i can't help it i've lived like this for so long#like truly i just know there's something wrong with me and i'm a bad person but i also already know that i have to take initiative to fix it#but i'm just too tired and there's no point#like usually i'm fueled by spite or panic or something but i just don't feel things now#i have no braincells left anymore none#and now with my new gut issues which might stem from the ed or be genetic i'm just. even more tired than before with less time to use#because i spend hours in the bathroom#i should book an appointment for a doctor abt that but i'm just. very doubtful since it took my sister years to find out even a part of her#issues which might not be the same as mine but still#i'm too tired for social interactions and will never form meaningful connections with other people i will never get a job i will be in pain#and i don't have anything on a grand scale that i would want and all of that makes this seem so useless what am i being alive for#i'm being dramatic right now and i know things can get better and things change etc etc but also. i'm not having fun#i know i'm very privileged in many ways and incredibly thankless and insufferable and childish and so on but idc i'm tired#why the fuck did i have to burn out before i finished my bachelor's thesis and why the fuck did i choose my major when it's 10000#times more demanding than the one my friends went to#in those courses i just throw shit together for easy 5s and in my major i'll get hanged if i don't include the doi part in citations#i mean i still have time so not all is lost but time just keeps happening and i'm not experiencing any of it#shit talking
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medicinemane · 1 month
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I'm very tired, I have to do everything around the house myself (as in, I keep having to turn the water off and on to the kitchen sink until I teach myself to install a new faucet, and negative cleaning gets done if I don't do it), and the money is in the hands of the third worst person in the whole family when it comes to money (the worst being my grandpa who is dead, and my grandma who blows all her money on overpriced jackets and other junk)
I'm very tired, I have to teach myself how to do everything, and I have almost literally no support in any way shape or form ever
I can't remember the last time anyone said they were proud of me... I don't actually know if anyone's ever used that word with me before. When I do something like get the trailer cleaned out or buy a house, frankly no one gives a fuck, except my grandma who gets mad
I haven't actually had a chance to see anyone that counts as a friend in like 15 years, and I mean even in high school everyone liked me but no one could be bothered to actually ever even talk outside school... so even back then it's not like I had anyone I was close with
I'm providing this version where I totally remove how I feel or how I view myself from the description and instead try to provide something close to an objective description of things
So if you wonder why I say what I say about myself, honestly I think it's pretty much all summed up here
#mm tag so i can find things later#also this is why you can maybe piss off instead of coming around here and saying I should get off the internet and go to therapy#in spite of how morose I am; I'm actively working to fix this stuff by... at least learning more of the skills I need#like... learn to replace a faucet; then at least I don't have the sink issue weighing me down#and maybe if I fix enough of it someday things'll be ok#although... in my mind no matter what I do I'll still be alone and unlovable; but that's just a description of how I view things#regardless of how I may feel; I am trying to do stuff to fix how I feel by trying to fix my situation#so like... if you're gonna come here and tell me I need to fix my mental health#may I respectfully say either you can lend me a hand or maybe you should mind your own business#cause what the fuck do you think I'm trying to do?#not that anyone will read this or particularly care#not trying to be rude or something; just extrapolating past data to make a prediction#it's not that people here don't care or don't like me; it's just we're all busy with our own lives and no one really knows what to do#well I'm... I'm trying to write you a guide; I'm asking for help here#...to an extent it's totally fine if no one helps... but you kinda don't get to go around acting like you love being asked for help#I mean... you do; it's your life... but I'm just saying... this is me asking for help... yet again#but I expect nothing because that's what usually happens#I really don't mean to... to imply anything about anyone else; it's just descriptively I don't get help and I don't get support#and... based on all the information I have my model for the outcome of this says no one will even notice it#that tag of mine of things I can find later or whatever... it has me outright saying a number of things#...no one ever hears or listens#anyway; there it is... another pointless cry for help#...don't say I didn't warn you when I wind up killing myself one day#probably not anytime soon; maybe not ever... all I'm saying is don't pretend you didn't see it coming or like I didn't reach out#at least... as best I could... maybe I could have done better#like sure; could I walk up to specific people and say 'I need you to do this'; sure...#but I find... I find people just ignore it if I say that too#so I've given up; you know?#this is the best I can muster#don't say I didn't tell you
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WIBTA for sabotaging my boyfriend's hookup with his girlfriend by filling his sex playlist with DJ Crazytimes
I (28NB, they/he) have known my boyfriend (call him C, 29M, he/him) for some 15ish years now. As long as I've known him, he has been on and off again with his girlfriend (call him T, 29NB, he/him). Respectfully, and with love, C and T are two of the worst and most annoying people I know. I want to marry them both specifically so that I can study them under a microscope like a parasitic virus.
Technically they're monogamous, but they're both hooking up with other people (myself included), usually the same people, because they have the same taste in lovers (bad). I have suggested that they give actual polyamory a try, and they reject the idea wholeheartedly. I think they get off on their dynamic, and far be it from me to try more than the bare minimum to dissuade them from it.
A couple months back, they got into a fight and broke up (again) because T (who was unemployed at the time) stole $50 from C (who works at GameStop) so that he could pay for a tank of gas (using C's car) to go hook up with another guy a couple states over. C was not upset that T was hooking up with another guy (because he was Also hooking up with that guy and knew he would not have a leg to stand on), but because of the stolen money + car.
C and I currently live together, because you can't afford an apartment on a GameStop salary, and also, like I said, he's my boyfriend. I'm making carnitas tacos next Friday, and T is coming over, because despite everything, he has nothing else to do on a Friday night. I know that C and T are going to get into a huge fight, and I know that it's probably either going to end with them getting back together out of spite or with someone's vehicle getting keyed--I'm betting on both.
Here's where I think I might be the asshole. I would really like to get inbetween them. Not in a "I don't want you to date each other" kind of way, but in a "holy shit you are both so insufferable i would like to get in on that" kind of way. I currently have my thing with C, and I've hooked up with T once in the past, but I would really like to make it official with him as well.
My plan is as follows: C and T are going to be in the same space again next Friday. They're going to fight, then hook up, then get back together again. C is one of those cybersexual "i built my own computer and run it on Linux" people, which is to say, he thinks tiktok and youtube are evil, and he he thinks spotify premium is supporting megacorporations. So, his sex playlist for T (we do not have our own sex playlist) is just an actual folder of mp3 files.
While C is at work, I'm going to log into his computer and change several of those mp3 files to DJ Crazytimes' Planet of the Bass, which I play often, and he is frequently annoyed by. My hope is that he'll realize it was me, he'll come and yell at me for ruining their hookup, T will take my side to piss him off, and the tension will get to the point where they let me join their hookup, and I can ask to date both of them after that.
To be clear, I recognize that I'm also Incredibly Toxic for enabling and encouraging this behavior. That said, I feel like I'm justified in this scenario considering C and T are both Also toxic, and furthermore, it is a known fact that I'm dating C right now, so for them to hook up, C would technically be cheating on me. I asked C's sister (a childhood friend of mine) for her take on whether it would be funny or just annoying, and she just told me that we all deserve each other, so I think I should be good. Am I being uniquely shitty here?
What are these acronyms?
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temis-de-leon · 2 months
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Pick me girls and OM! Brothers - Part 2
Characters: Satan, Asmo, Beel and Belphie (x reader, separately)
Part 1 - Lucifer, Mammon and Levi (x reader, separately)
Part 3 - Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon and Simeon (x reader, separately)
Masterlist
CW: pick me girl behavior, one of these girls is actually really stupid, suggestive, mentions of sex between the brothers and mc, mentions of violence, a bit of magic, mentions of cheating (not actual cheating), nightmares, implied death, jealous mc, some fluff, some hurt, some comfort, still ooc but i had even more fun
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Satan
Your boyfriend looked more offended than you ever had the chance to feel.
The cashier at the bookstore barely had the time to say anything about her supposed romance with the demon before he appeared in his signature pose: a hand in his hip and the other one over his chest.
He had been a regular for years and you didn't know if the girl had been delusional enough to believe she had something with him or if she was just jealous and wanted to make you feel bad.
You weren't sure which one was sadder.
"Am I hearing this correctly?" he said with spite, distracting you from your own thoughts "Are you so daft you were considering me reciprocating your feelings?"
The girl lowered her gaze, clearly embarrassed, and for a moment you felt guilty. Maybe she really thought she had something mutual going on with Satan; a crush that went too far in her own imagination.
She proved you wrong, however, when not only did she give you a side eye, but also said the most stupidest thing one could ever muster.
"Well, obviously you are so daft you chose them over me"
You couldn't waste time on feeling hurt; not when Satan was showing his fangs, letting his tail scratch the floor as it lashed behind him. As hot as he looked like this, it was not the moment nor the place to show his demon form in a fit of rage.
The stupid cashier seemed proud of getting a reaction out of him, finally catching his attention. Maybe she was a demon of wrath too? Maybe that's how she flirted with other demons?
The poor thing would be lucky if she ever lived to see another day.
Let her discover that fact on her own.
"She's not worth it, Satan" you urged, pushing him to the door "Let's go to that cat cafe you mentioned earlier. You said they had new kittens, right?"
That seemed to do the trick.
He looked at you with love, still mixed with anger and bewilderment, but not enough for you not to hold his hand and lean against him.
"I'm sorry, my dear" he murmured, then he spoke louder "Do not believe a word she said"
"I would never"
"Good"
He nodded to himself, like the idea of you believing the cashier was too stupid to even consider it, but neither of you could ignore how his hand stiffened in yours for a second.
"Let's go see some kittens" you said in a singing voice, leading him in the street towards your destination.
You failed to see the adoration in his eyes.
Asmo
This succubus dated Asmo long before you were even an idea in your parents' minds and she wanted you to keep that in mind.
She wanted you to know that everything you knew, she knew better (a blatant lie) and that Asmo preferred experience over novelty (ew).
"I remember the times we went to the sauna and... Oh, sorry, does he take you to the sauna?"
"He invited me a couple of times, yes" but I had to say no or else I would've boiled alive.
"And does he...?"
Does he. Does he. Does he.
He does. HE DOES. HE DEFINITELY DOES.
In which moment did you think going to The Fall was a better plan than doing each other's skincare routine while making fun of 50 shades of Grey?
The both of you could be criticizing that poor excuse of BDSM right now (before recreating the correct version), but, instead, Asmo was ordering the girliest cocktail ever made while this Camila Cabello wannabe harassed you.
"...that was a little joke between us"
Lord Diavolo she just kept going.
"I'm so happy you remember so well your past relationship with him" you intervened with a strain in your voice, "but maybe it's time for you to stop and leave"
The succubus smirked with a smugness that made your innards burn from the inside out.
"Don't get jealous! I'm sure he loves you too"
Oh my Lord.
The lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch.
"Hon', look at this!"
There he came, your savior, dressed in a skimpy dress with hands full of shimmery drinks and a glint in his very beautiful loving eyes.
"They didn't have human beverages, but I swear the taste is impeccable, you'll love it! Just let me take a picture for Devilgram first"
Camila Cabello, as you had finally decided to call her, cleared her throat in search of the demon's attention. Asmodeus looked in her direction, obviously trying to remember who she was.
"Asmo, baby!" she was nothing but a smile full teeth and a mission. Her gaze a little desperate "Remember me?"
Her determination died, however, when Asmo's expression turned shocked after studying her. He grasped his chest in sorrow as he asked the funniest question you could hear at the moment.
"What are you wearing?"
Camila Cabello was finally at a loss of words and you briefly wondered if this had ever happened to her.
"If you're gonna meddle in my relationship with MC at least take effort in looking decent"
His expression was sweet, saccharine, but there was an underlying seriousness in his voice.
He was so beautiful. And he was all yours.
Beel
She was one of the boys, apparently. Beel had definitely never mentioned her, but the girl only laughed when you told her that.
"Wow, controlling much? Does he have to tell you about every friend?"
Well, no, Beel didn't have to inform you about everyone he's ever met, but your boyfriend was sweet enough to want you in every aspect of his life, thus introducing you to his friends, his teammates and even his gym bros.
Definitely not to this girl.
You looked at her in disbelief, licking your teeth with a calculating glance. How much would Beel care if you hit this airhead with a dumbbell?
"We hang out together almost every day" she boasted, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger "It's not even weird for me to be in the boys locker room"
Were you strong enough to throw a dumbbell?
Surely she'd rather be with them instead of you if she was 'one of the boys', no? Why would she be in the bleachers with you, waiting for the team to finish their training, when she could be in any other part of the field doing exercise or playing for another sport?
"I'm not making you insecure, am I?" asked the girl in poorly faked innocence "If he loves you so much you should have nothing to worry about"
"Oh, I trust him" you assured her, but you didn't sound as confident as you wanted to. Although Beel never gave you any reasons to doubt him, it was difficult to defend your relationship when this girl was so convinced everyone was in love with her.
"That's so cool"
You decided to ignore her and her mocking tone, hoping to end the conversation right there, but she just kept talking. It was obvious she wanted to get under your skin.
For what? you wondered. Did she expect Beel to leave you if she batted her lashes fast enough? Did she know Beel at all??
"Oh, Beely!"
You cringed with a scowl visible to everyone around you. Some of Beel's teammates laughed at your missfortune, while the others, the ones you liked best, turned around in horror and left without a second glance.
Wether he was oblivious or just didn't care, Beel wasted no time in running towards you with a smile on his face.
"Did you see me?" he asked, looking up to you with a boyish grin and brightened eyes.
"I'm always looking at you"
Beel blushed, his smile still obvious in his face, but he couldn't get another word in before the girl talked again.
"I was looking at you too"
You rolled your eyes and Beel immediately stared at you with a curious glance. He hummed in response, ignoring her once again as he reached out for your hand to caress your knuckles.
"There's a new limited edition menu in a restaurant near RAD"
No questions added nor needed. You smiled at him and nodded, bringing his hand to your lips to kiss it. A promise for later.
"Noo, we used to go there so much..."
"Can you stop?" Beel interrupted her with a deadpan expression "You're making MC uncomfortable"
The girl looked at him in surprise, mouth wide open, clearly not expecting to be snapped at.
She didn't dare to look at you after that.
Belphie
It wasn't the first time you dreamt about this girl and it wasn't the first time you dreamt about her stealing your sloth of a boyfriend.
She wasn't some mystery girl, but rather Belphie's old seatmate, the one he had before you were kidnapped admitted in RAD. A quiet doe-eyed succubus that looked at him like he was the best thing that ever happened to both human and demon mankind.
She'd tried to sit next to him a couple of times with no avail, always getting rejected in your favor. Then, Belphie and you started dating and she stopped trying. You'd innocently thought she'd surrendered.
But not only did she search for him the very few times you guys weren't next to each other, she also ignored you completely when you were there.
Ignoring her back was easier said than done.
And this time, the oniric version of her wasn't just stealing your boyfriend. This time, he was willingly going to her, making your heart hurt so much it made you wake up with what felt like broken ribs.
It took you a couple of minutes to pull yourself together and not push Belphie away when he brought you back to his chest. The image of him kissing her while looking at you was engraved in your mind.
So, although sweating and hurting both from your heart and your confidence, you forced yourself to sleep.
You didn't notice just how awake Belphie was.
Back when you were still friends, you had allowed him to introduce himself into your slumber each time you had a nightmare. Images of you dying under the jaws and claws of faceless demons disappeared faster when the real Belphie was there. Ironic, isn't it?
He tried to stop every single one of them, but sometimes he was so deep in his own dreams it was proved to be impossible.
You thought this was one of those occasions, but, alas, you were wrong.
Days passed without any new event and Belphie mentioned nothing about your initial irrational coldness towards him, which made you feel a tiny bit better. Eventually you'd get so embarrassed about the situation that you had no other option but to dote on him like the brat he was, leading to a whole weekend sprawled over his bed in the attic.
The girl was still there, although not as persistent with Belphie, and she avoided you like the plague, with fright in her eyes.
So he did something about her, didn't he? But how did he know? And what did he do? You wanted to ask, curious as ever, but as time went by and the eyebags under her eyes started to occupy her entire face, you decided against it.
Barely a month later she disappeared without leaving trace. And since Belphie didn't even acknowledge her at all, why would you?
Tagging a little more: @hello-gloomy @the-sassiest-toaster @hero-nii-blog @yourlocalyin @elaemae
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kedreeva · 1 year
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For those of you non-reptile folks out there (or the reptile folks who haven't heard/don't know yet)- "Prehistoric Pets"/"The Reptile Zoo" is one of the worst faces of captive reptile keeping. Jay Brewer, the guy that runs it and faces it on youtube, is basically running the equivalent of a reptile puppy mill, and sensationalizing it for views.
He keeps his animals in enclosures that are far too small for them, participates in mass breeding without care for the health or well-being of the animals involved, including creating morbidly obsese animals to have the "biggest" ones for clout and so that he can breed them as fast and often as possible since they don't get too skinny from being bred too often while being massively overfed. He's also well known for cutting eggs (which by itself is.... eh but-) where he removes the entire top, pulling live babies out, and putting them back in, which is ridiculously dangerous to the baby.
This year he's going to be getting his own television show. I don't know the name of it yet, but given his behavior on youtube - where he purposely elicits stress responses, defensive behaviors, and bite attempts from large reptiles purely for views, with no interest in whether these actions are in the interest of the animal's best welfare - I doubt he is going to improve any. The producers are GOING to try to sensationalize it a la Tiger King.
Please, I am asking you to not support this man or his new show. He represents the worst side of the hobby, the people that have no business being in business, no business keeping the animals he does. Don't spite watch, don't curiosity watch; pirate it someplace if you must, but any views that count toward success of his show only puts more into his pockets to continue doing things he shouldn't, and it's his animals (and the animals his popularity convince others to buy thinking they can do the same as him) that pay the price for it.
Please understand that he is NOT a good representative of the reptile keeping community, and that so many people do not find his keeping, handling, or practices acceptable. Despicable would be a better word.
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flamingpudding · 3 months
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I love your writing so much but I'm here with a crack idea just imagine deage Dan is Klarion.
Dan was able to find out who he is outside of Danny then he was able to change his name Klarion Jackson Fenton/Nightingale he is still a little villain boy also now a mom boy.
Ghost King Danny is his mom young justice was so confused when Klarion you're the best gifts get your mom after not talking to him for a while to also begging them to pretend to be his friend . Justice League dark is panicking in the background about the electric being that just shows up.
Danny in full ghost king attire standing there with a plate of cookies ready to meet his son's new friends.
Thanks so much! I am glad you enjoy my writing!
Also thanks because I absolutely love this Idea/Prompt! Sooooo please enjoy this piece inspired by it! Also I haven't consumed a lot of DC material lately so i am basing this all on my memories. In other words.... I went with Tim's little team here.
Hope that's okay and that this won't disappoint.
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Dan, who was going by Klarion for some years now, had a massive problem. It was the huge kind of problem build on small bubbles of lies that then turned into this one giant bubble that was about to pop just because of one little question asked by his mom when his sister decided to throw him under the bus to deflect from herself and the fact that she was dating a demon. Don't get him wrong he still loves her, but man did he want to strangle Danielle right now.
"So Klarion, Ellie is right. When will I get to meet your friends you told me so much about?"
It was such an innocent question from his mom. And while his moms titles don't scare him, cause at some point in time they could have been his too, the happy dopey smile like nothing was wrong in the dimensions with little expectations directed at him was the scariest thing his mom could ever direct at him when he had asked THAT question.
So now Klarion was in need of a quick solution. When his mom had asked he had mumbled out a quick: "Next week maybe. We won't be busy with hero stuff then." He had started to form a plan. First of all, he needed to remember what all he had told his mom about his new and redeemed life on Earth 43 he had build for himself with the name Klarion Jackson Fenton-Nightingale.
Which fuck. There was a lot he had told his mom just so he wouldn't worry.
Cause now he also remembers that whenever he had gone out to cause some chaos he had made it seem to his mom like he was going out to bond with his new friend or help them with their hero duty. Well, in a way maybe his chaos causing could be seen as bonding. The ghostly kind, that is. And as for helping with the hero duty... he did give them work, something to do with their hero status. Anyway Klarion tried to remember all possible names he had dropped. Shit why did he also mention to his mom that he was working with heroes to make her proud? He should have name dropped some villains instead but nearly all of them were adults. He knew his mom would have frowned if he had only adult friends and no one around his age.
He was pacing his room in their castle. He need a plan, a good one at that. He knows he name dropped Robin, now Red Robin, Superboy and Impulse on a whim once. Superboy more so cause his mom had been interested in the Alien Heros of the Earth of the dimension he was partially living on now. He had mentioned Robin for the joke of knowing that there is a Dinner in an other Dimension with the same name. And because his Grandfather didn't like the Flash-clan which meant his mom didn't like them too much because of their messing with timelines either, he had mentioned being friends with Impulse on pure spite because of a punishment one day and to see their reactions. So he had to get these three on board anyway, and because for the heck of it he would get Wonder Girl involved too. It was never bad to have a girl in a friends group.
Klarion stopped his pacing. Turning towards his demonic ghost cat companion, kind of what Cujo was to his mom now. "Teekl, I think I have a plan. I will convince these Idiots, that shouldn't be a huge problem. Most of them are normale little flesh sacks." Teekl and him stared for some time at each other and after a moment Klarion huffed turning away with crossed arms. "It's a good plan don't be so sceptical, they are heroes right? They will not refuse my request!"
Well maybe Klarion should have planned this a bit better.
The next day Red Robin blinked at the witch boy up from the ground in the living room of what looked like to be an normal apartment. He had just been in Gotham, working on a case and now he was here? Looking to the left he also noticed that Superboy (the older), Impulse and Wonder Girl were also with him. They all looked stunned he observed and partially disoriented. Additionally they hadn't heard from Klarion since the last time they had foiled his plans on raging chaos upon the earth, that had been weeks ago.
"Kla-"
"I have summoned you heroes here. For the moment it is fruitless to try to leave because of the magic barrier." Okay rude to be cut of but that explained why he suddenly wasn't where he remembered to be last anymore. It was now Superboy who opened his mouth first but before he could even make a sound Klarion decided to speak over them again. "I have presents."
Four young heroes collectively blinked, confused, stunned and weirded out. As the which boy before them waved over to wards a table filled with boxes and packages. "I come in peace today, to proof that I brought these are presents, filled with various goods from different dimensions that should be to the liking of you all. Technologie, accessories, snacks, weapons, as well as clothing styles."
Red Robin shared a glance with his friends, a silent communication but before he once again could say anything Impulse was already by the table going through the stuff. They could here his 'oh's and 'ah's, which inevitably made them curious and they wandered over too. Klarion was not acting hostile at all yet but Red Robin did not trust that so he kept the which boy in clear view the entire time.
"Rob! You gotta see this! That actual futuristic Tech!"
"Look at these snacks."
"These accessories don't look to bad..."
His eye twitched when he noticed Klarion was sporting a smug look. Red Robin had to ask now, because this was not normal for the other. "Okay usually you would have started some big shot chaos plan by now. I don't buy this peace offering act and your way to formal talking. So what is going on?"
The other three, thankfully in Red Robins opinion, finally looked away from the tempting gifts and also turned their attention fully on Klarion. Who's smug smile falter as he let out a sigh and stared at them with what they could only describe as a frustrated look.
"My mom is planning to visit me."
"And?" Impulse asked between munching on three different bags of chips that where on the table.
"And he believes I am friends with you idiots."
They stared slack jawed. Impulse was pinching himself like he couldn't believe what they had just heard. Did one of their Villains, just informed them that their mom believes they were friends? Red Robin was starting to think he might be in a sleep deprived Hallucination.
"Why would she?" Wonder Girl questioned next to which Klarion glared at her with fire in his eyes.
"First of, my mom uses the pronouns he/Him. Be rude to my mom and I will find a way to make your life a permanent hell on earth." Wonder Girl blinked lifting her hands as in a sign of peace. "Second, my mom is under the believe that i work with heroes not against them. I do not have the heart to disappoint him after everything that happened in the past. So I embellished the truth a little."
"A little?" Superboy retorted sarcastically, to which they caught a light blush dusting the which boy's cheeks.
"Look my sister threw me under the bus and my mom wants to meet my friends now! So I need you idiots to play nice with me for when he visits!"
"And we will do that because?" Red Robin crossed his arms, watching their villain sceptically still not really buying this entire act. This was to strange of an behaviour change. Something was up, and he was going to get behind it.
Klarion on the other hand was starting to panic internally. His plan was not as he had hoped. The presents he had specifically gotten from other dimensions with what he believed was their interests did not work to make them simply accept his request. This was the last time he would listen to old man Vlad on how to bribe humans, he wasted his entire week on getting all that stuff. His mom was going to show up soon enough he need to have them act as his friends by then so he could remove the magic barrier. Or else his mom would notices he faked everything.
They left him no choice. He would have to throw his pride away for the sole reason to not disappoint his mom.
All four Young Justice Heroes blinked as Klarion suddenly threw himself on the ground before them into a pleading position.
"Please! I beg you, just for the time my mom is here. Please act like my friends!"
"I didn't think Klarion was a mama's boy...." Impulse whispered to the rest of them in pure disbelief as they stared stunned at the kneeling witch boy.
Cut to the heroes that noticed their teens were missing.....
"Where is he?" Batman growled at the Constantine who was sighing tiredly.
"Look mate, the way you and the other Spandex wearing friends explained it, made it sound like they got summoned by a being of the Infinit Realms." The blond man sighed lighting another cigarette eying the four heroes, Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and Flash. Zatanna was behind him pouring over a book about the realms and trying to find a tracking spell to trace it back and to where they could have been summoned.
"Don't you have something like a tracker on your boy?" Batman only growled something under his breath to which the Brite couldn't help to arch and eyebrow. Constantine was going to say something sarcasting as Deadman suddenly appeared a panicked look on him. "The Ghost King has chosen to come to our dimension."
"Say bloody what now?" All attention that had been on the heroes and their problem of missing teenage heroes turned now to Deadman and the news he brought with him. "The ghost, shades and spirits talked, for the king has decided to visit our Dimension. They are in an uproar, no one knows of why our King is on his way."
"Bloody fucking hell!" Constantine cursed. "We are fucking screwed! Isn't that guy a fucking tyrannical eldrich war maniac?!"
Deadman nodded solemnly and Constantine uttered another hearty and colourful 'fuck'. While the heroes present exchanged worried glances, not only were their kids missing but now a, by the sounds of it, highly dangerous being decided to appear in their dimension? Batman couldn't help but think that there had to be a connection to the missing teens and this.
Meanwhile in the Infinite Realms the Ghost King Castle...
Danny smoothed out his fur trimmed cape and adjusted his crown so it was floating nicely and evenly on his head. Today was the day he would get to meet his sons friends. He needed to make a good first impression. That was why he had chosen to take on his Ghost King form for this. With the wave of his hand he made an ice mirror appear before him, checking how he was looking once again. Once satisfied he nodded to himself looking over towards Fright Knight who was holding the plate of cookies he had baked himself. It was the fifth batch, and the only one that didn't turn out burned. He had needed Jazz help for this one to turn out well. It was only proper if he brought some cookies for the kids. Also he would have loved to bring his families fudge but... the last time he had tried making them had turned into a disaster.
"Thanks Frighty. Do you think Klarion's friends will like these? Wait don't answer! If they don't like them I will just get something else to thank them for taking care of my boy." Danny rambled on as he glanced at the plate of cookies in his hands. Why was he so nervous? He was just going to get to meet his little boy's friends. Sure his boy had dropped some stories about them and his adventures with them here and there. But hearing stories and meeting the kids were two different things.
Shaking his head Danny put on his best smile as he summoned a portal to Klarions apartment in the 43th Dimension of Earth. It was time to visit his boy in the place he had made his second home and thank the people that looked after his kid.
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tiredandlonelymuse · 1 year
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My therapist once told me, “You are the guiltiest feeling person I’ve ever met” and just to prove her right, I took it to heart. An astrologer said, “You have so much water in your chart. What is it like to feel the emotions of every single person alive, everyday?” and I wept because I sensed he was displeased. A teacher told my parents “She’s very sensitive. Far more than the other kids in her class.” I took my SATs at 9 years old, but they encouraged my mother to hold me back because of how my eyes glistened when I heard the word no. She told them to go to hell. So I cried my way through my education until high school when they said “You take everything so personally, you’ll never survive in a company environment. You wouldn’t make a good employee.” So I employed myself (out of spite or…necessity) and then later, I hired 200 people. A boyfriend told me “Don’t be so dramatic, everything isn’t a movie.” Fine, so it’ll be an album then. The doctor said “This shouldn’t hurt a bit.” I tread daily on a minefield that leaves me classifying the variations in footsteps, the tonality in voice, a change in breath. “Is everything okay? You seem mad” is my pledge of allegiance to this tightly wound bundle of flesh. I am cut open, butterflied and flayed, with every single nerve exposed like live wires and, yes, they all hurt to touch. Each interaction is a litmus test of how well liked I am, and therefore how worthy to live. I wake up every morning and the moral barometer resets, T-minus 12 hours to prove to myself that I am not the bad person I believe I must be. Sleep, repeat. An amnesiac nightmare. Prometheus on a rock and the gull in my guts is myself. I once envied those with greater armor, but not anymore. “Why do you care so much?” Guard yourself from the little grievances, but the shield does not differentiate. The space where I am vulnerable to the pain that passes through is an entry point for the microscopic good that others may miss. I live in technicolor torment. If I could do it over again and choose the comfortable grey, I would seize a knife and cut the little keyholes back into my every limb. So the light can get in.
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vent
i mean oh wow it's like she wants me to kill myself
all of this because i botched my hair and defended the fact that i ended up botching my hair and keeping it
heyy guys if i end up not posting for like. two months please kindly assume im dead lmfao
pfft i should probably screen shot some of the things she said in messenger dms when she isn't watching the screen just as proof that she said it
#edit tags glitched this was more cohesive and as well as properly formatted earlier folks so sorry about that it you do end up reading#ALL BECAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY BOTCHED MY HAIRCUT#she adds this to her list of me having a bandetta against hair because she complimented my hair and sometime later i cut it short#when one i didn't even hear that (<-auditory processing issues) and two even if i did i didn't mean to botch it#(didn't even did that to spite her was just thought it was too long and messed up my cut but sure as hell thinking of shaving it now)#also i noticed that she thinks that the world is out to get her inherently it's infuriating and depressing#and she's hurt too many people cause of it#and you can say and argue that it's a me specific thing if she didn't assume that with anyone else too#like. man. she needs to fucking go to therapy or else she has a big chancs of loterally killing me lol#thank fuck i got a handle on my anxiety before i turned into That i mean dear god#mann if this is how she reacts to a bad haircut cause her reputation was at stake apperantly (girlie cares Too Much on what idiots think#enough to verbally abuse bully hit more more times and threathen to hit me if i ever botch a haircut again apperantly.)#how am i going to get into a gay and in love relationship now :(( /j i will just won't tell her.#i will marry someone with my family just thinking we're friends if i have to. pull a byoonei even.#breaking news person who calls my aunt sensitive gets this offended over a bad hair cut#she also took my cutting blade too but hey it was getting dull anyways#ello this is a cry for help actually#there is a nice big cold ocean to jump in just two streets down from where i live and i can easily get out of here with two keys#tell me who i am guess i dont have a choice all because i cut my hair#oh if i ever get in a gay relationship i am not telling that woman#she's going to call me selfish for putting my happiness over the family's (read her) reputation#she would honestly put what idiots think of her over her own kids happiness lmfao#like. she's telling me to go attend parent teacher conferences and buy my own stuff because im ''so grown up nowyo there's a vent in the ta#parents
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earthtooz · 10 months
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x : SLEEPY FAVOUR :*+゚
in which: you've unwillingly become jing yuan's cuddle buddy for his afternoon naps.
warnings: fluff, 700 wc, bad writing lul, established relationship, dialogue-heavy, gn!reader teases a clingy!jing yuan.
a/n: two fics in two days. wow. who am i. enjoy. (i posted an itoshi rin fic yesterday pls feel free to check it out!)
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“you cannot keep doing this, jing yuan.”
sitting up to look at the man, your complaint is hushed quickly by the general, who places a hand on your shoulder and pulls you back down into his arms. he wraps himself around you like a vine and you groan at the suffocating sensation. still, jing yuan does not let up, not giving in to your complaints and grumbles as he draws circles on your arm.
“when you messaged me earlier about paying you a visit, i did not anticipate for it to be because you were simply feeling lonely. and clingy,” you sigh and the white-haired laughs.
“then what else?”
“something of value? something that will contribute to the wellness of the luofu?”
“is this not of value?” 
“calling me as your cuddle buddy for your afternoon nap is hardly of value.”
“i object. in fact, i would beg to differ. is the wellbeing of the luofu’s general something to take lightly?”
you huff, turning around in his arms to face him. jing yuan looks at you through half-lidded eyes, fatigue evident in them as he smiles softly. instinctively, your hand reaches to tuck a strand of hair behind of ears and at the graze of your touch, he shuts his eyes, seemingly peaceful and content. 
“flaunting your title, are you?” you ask. “what happened to your humility?”
he’s quick to reply. “gone if it will prevent you from leaving.” 
a smooth talker. your lover, jing yuan, has always had a way with words, laced with carelessness yet drenched in honey, there’s little of him you can resist. even now, you feel your frustration subsiding with one simple comment.
“and why should the general have a few hours of the day just to slack off?” you ask. “your afternoon naps can wait, luofu’s safety shouldn’t.”
“you say that, yet how many centuries of peace have we lived through?”
“why is everything i’m saying only inflating your ego?” then, just to spite him, you pull your hand away and his eyes open at the lack of contact that grounds him to a realm of peace and comfort. immediately missing your warmth, jing yuan finds your wrist and moves it to rest on his face once more. 
you don’t give him the satisfaction, hoping to give him a piece of your mind by once again, retracting your hand out of his hold and his sleepy gaze darkens into something akin to displeasure.
“won’t you indulge in me?” questions the cloud-knight. “i have worked so hard today already, i have been looking forward to taking an afternoon nap.”
“and is that not possible without me?”
he shakes his head with the temperament of a child and a pout to match. what will the court think when they see this side of your feared and revered lover? “ever since you rest with me that day, no, and i will never go back.”
where did his perseverance go?
“you suggest these things as if i am not busy myself. i cannot listen to your every request and demand when i have mountains of work to complete too!”
“i have requested that they be pushed back until later. your schedule has been cleared out for the next few hours.”
“jing yuan!” you exclaim, pushing him away lightly. “you cannot do that!”
“i can, and i have.”
before you can even utter another word, jing yuan has rolled over to lie on top of you, placing half of his weight on you to act as an anchor, effectively preventing you from moving anywhere.
the press of his muscles against you and the tightening of his arms around your torso are like cannonballs against your determination, and considering that he discarded his armour the moment you stepped through the door, it’s only fair if you do the same.
“come on, my love, do you not care for your general?” he asks, borderlining a whine. 
“fine.” you surrender, finally wrapping your arms around him as well. “only because i want him to be at top performance.”
“what about your lover? don’t you wish for any benefits for him too?” 
“he is of lesser importance,” you tease. “in fact, he should suffer for what he puts me through.”
jing yuan chuckles and his laugh reverberates into your heart. “i would hate to be him, then."
"watch yourself, jing yuan."
"of course, anything for you," murmurs the white-haired before he finds purchase in the bend of your neck. surrounded by you, he wordlessly dozes off without a care in the world.
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© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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arieslost · 1 month
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the other papaya | op81
pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader (brief pato o’ward x fem!reader)
summary: something something the first five times you hear the name “oscar piastri” and the one time you say it
wc: 3,165
warnings: mention of covid lockdown, a wee bit o’ angst, drinking
masterlist — join my tag list here!
© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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The first time you heard Oscar Piastri’s name, it was said in contempt.
You knew your boyfriend didn’t hate him, but you also knew that Pato could practically hear the phone ringing with the offer to drive for McLaren in F1 right up until he found out that the seat was going to someone else. To Oscar Piastri. The “kid,” as he so aptly referred to him.
“He’s only two years younger than you,” you admonished him one night, soon after the announcement was made public.
“Exactly. A kid.”
“I’m two years younger than you.” You said, and that made him wrinkle his nose.
“Point taken.”
You would describe your relationship with Pato O’Ward as puppy love. Things between the two of you escalated a little too quickly, as many things in 2020 did. You went from going on a whopping four dates by the end of 2019 to living together for the foreseeable future when everything went on lockdown. Your mother had voiced her concern about it, but if you didn’t live with him you didn’t really have anywhere else to go. Besides, you liked each other so much that it only made sense that you continued to build your relationship in the comfort of his spacious apartment. The two of you settled into a decent rhythm, and you took the time to learn more about motorsport. When he was finally able to hit the track again, you went to every race you could, decked out in papaya, cheering him on no matter what. And you continued to do so even though he lost his chance at driving in F1 to “the kid.”
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The second time you heard Oscar Piastri’s name, it came from the man himself when you ran into him at the 2024 Australian Grand Prix.
It was the first time you felt rather hesitant about going to a race with your boyfriend. Pato was welcomed to the McLaren F1 team as a reserve driver, and that was how you found yourself feeling extremely out of place in the McLaren garage. You met Oscar’s girlfriend before you met him, and while she was kind enough to get you a pair of headphones and offer to sit with you during the race, the entire interaction had you feeling like you should’ve just stayed back at the hotel. All the other WAGs were dressed to the nines, looking effortlessly beautiful, and you were wearing ripped jeans and a jersey with Pato’s number on it, like you always did, even though he wasn’t racing. With Pato busy in a debrief, you were busy just trying to stay out of the way and not stick out like a sore thumb.
“Excuse me,” someone said, and you assumed you were in the way, so you apologized and started moving when the person grabbed your arm to stop you. “No, sorry, I just– hi. You’re Pato’s girlfriend, yeah?”
Your eyes widened when you recognized the man talking to you. “Um… yes, I am.”
“I’m Oscar. Piastri,” he said.
“Yeah, I know,” you nodded, accepting his handshake and telling him your name in return. “Are you here to tell me I need to leave?”
“What? No, of course not. Pato told me you were here, so I wanted to come say hi.”
“Oh.” You could feel your face starting to grow hot, because you really weren’t sure what to do in this situation.
Pato lost a chance at a seat to this guy, and you remembered his disappointment well. But you didn’t expect Oscar to come up to you in a million years.
“That’s really nice of you,” you continued, trying to smile without looking too awkward. “Congrats on getting the seat. You must be pretty talented.”
“Ah, thanks.” He looked at you for a moment, and you looked back. “Anyway, I just wanted to say hi.”
You giggled in spite of yourself. “You said that already.”
“Right, yeah. Well, it was nice to meet you,” he said, hesitantly tacking your name onto the end of his sentence. “Thanks for being here.”
“Nice to meet you too, Oscar. Good luck today.”
Two races later, Pato messaged him to congratulate him on his podium, and you mentioned wanting to thank and congratulate him yourself. You got Oscar’s number, and after his quick response, the conversation died out, just as you expected. You didn’t have anything else to say to him anyway, but soon after, you got a follow request from him on Instagram. You accepted without a second thought– just one papaya supporting another.
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The third time you heard Oscar Piastri’s name, it was when a TikTok showed up on your feed talking about the “shocking split” between him and his girlfriend. You were reasonably surprised; his girlfriend was beautiful and kind, and from an outsider’s perspective they seemed quite happy with each other. The video went on to discuss speculation that his girlfriend was the one who had ended the relationship, and there were pictures of him looking visibly upset at the latest race. You closed the app, feeling like you were massively invading his privacy even though the first thing you saw upon opening Instagram was a statement on his story confirming the breakup. You couldn’t imagine what he was going through.
“Ah, so you saw, too,” Pato said, adjusting his workout clothes as he leaned over your shoulder.
“It’s terrible,” you sighed, shutting your phone off. “They seemed so happy together.”
“High school sweethearts, too. That makes it worse.”
You gave him a look. “You can feel bad for him, y’know.”
“I do!” Pato raised his hands with a laugh. “But if he wants to sit out of a race because of this, I won’t be upset.”
“You’re terrible, get out of here.” You shoved him playfully, and he left with a kiss on your forehead.
The last race weekend before summer break brought you a taste of the heartbreak Oscar went through only a couple months prior.
Pato had been in one of the older cars running some tests, and came home a little later than usual. He didn’t even answer your question of how his day was before he was sitting you down on the couch and looking anywhere but at your face.
“Pato, what’s going on? You’re kind of freaking me out,” you laughed nervously.
“I think we should break up.” He said, face stony.
You blinked. “What?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a little while,” he began, “and I think it’s for the best.”
“How long is ‘a while’?” You asked, shifting away from him as you felt your heart begin to pound.
“Ever since I became a reserve driver.” He confessed, and you scoffed.
“Are you serious right now?”
“This is the closest I’ve ever been to a F1 seat.” He said, like that made breaking up logical.
“Yeah, I know. And you know how I know? Because I’ve been around for years.” You hissed, standing up and walking towards the bedroom. “But I guess that means nothing to you.”
“Don’t be like that,” Pato protested, following close behind. “This is my career. I don’t want to risk anything.”
“Right. Of course.” You nodded, moving about the room to collect as much of your stuff as you could with shaking hands.
The rest of the week went by in a blur. You packed up all your things and took the soonest flight to Australia to try and forget about the fact that Pato had just thrown away years of being together for a fleeting chance at driving a stupid race car.
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The fourth time you hear Oscar Piastri’s name, it’s on the other end of the phone.
The two weeks following your breakup are uneventful and entirely consist of you, the warm Australian sun, and the spare bedroom in your aunt and uncle’s house. You haven’t deleted any of your IndyCar posts, nor have you posted any more. In fact, you haven’t posted anything since the last time you were in Australia, only a few months ago. Your Instagram has become stagnant; a reflection of your real life. You haven’t told many people about your breakup, so you’re surprised when your phone rings. Even more so when you see who it is.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s Oscar. Piastri,” he adds his last name like an afterthought, just like he did when he introduced himself in the garage.
“I know,” you say, pushing yourself into a sitting position on your bed. “Caller ID. Although you’re probably the last person I’d expect a call from.”
“Listen, are you not around anymore?” He asks, evidently not in the mood to beat around the bush. “I haven’t seen you, and you haven’t posted about IndyCar or anything.”
“Ah, um, yeah, no, I’m not.” You clear your throat uncomfortably. “Actually, Pato and I broke up. Well, he broke up with me. So, no reason for me to be around, I guess.”
“Oh,” Oscar says, his loud sigh crackling through the microphone. “I figured something was wrong. Shit, I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. I’m uh… I’m sorry too. Seemed like you had a good thing going.”
“Thanks. Seemed that way for you, too,” he mumbles. “So… I guess things have really been sucking for both of us lately.”
“Pretty much.” You laugh.
“This is a terrible idea,” he begins after a moment of silence, “but are you in Australia right now?”
You debate lying to him, because it is a terrible idea, and you have a feeling you know what he’s going to say next. You don’t care. “I am.”
“Alright, well, it’s summer break for F1 right now, and to be honest you’re the only person I know that understands what I’ve been going through.”
“Are you asking me to be your wallowing buddy?” You ask.
“Something like that. My plan was pretty much along the lines of drowning our sorrows in alcohol.” You can hear the smile in his voice, and for some reason that does you in.
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The fifth time you hear Oscar Piastri’s name, it’s through a cheap karaoke microphone.
You’ve lost count of how many days you’ve spent with him, and you feel like you’re still a little drunk from the night before when he breaks open a bottle of champagne.
“What is this, a celebration?” You ask, stretching your arms and legs out so you look like a starfish where you lay on the living room floor.
“It’s whatever the fuck we want it to be.” He takes two glasses and pours the champagne out.
You giggle at him while he dramatically sets them both down on the coffee table at your side. “You definitely pregamed before you got here.”
“I did not,” he protests, but you shake your head.
“No, no, you say curse words like that when you’re drunk.”
“Like what?”
“Like, ‘oh my God, this champagne is so fucking good.’” You mock him after taking a sip, and he starts laughing too.
“Fine, you caught me.” He throws his hands up. “I pregamed. But, I walked here, so who cares?”
You’re glad that your aunt and uncle are out for the night, because a few hours and countless glasses of champagne later find the both of you in the attic, discovering a karaoke microphone without a machine to match.
“Screw the machine, we don’t need the shitty machine,” Oscar rolls his eyes, watching you put batteries into the microphone. “We’ll just find something on YouTube. Does it work?”
You flip the switch and hold it up to your mouth. “HELLO? It works.”
You regret putting fresh batteries into it as soon as Oscar gets up to sing. You think that he might not be half bad if he’s sober, but drunk, his singing is absolutely insufferable. You would care if you weren’t equally as drunk as him. He pulls up a karaoke video of Last Friday Night by Katy Perry, only after getting you to swear on the lives of your entire family that you won’t tell anyone what you see or hear. You consider secretly recording him, but the second he starts, you’re practically folded in half from laughing so hard at his antics and the fleeting idea is gone.
He’s so dramatic with every lyric, like he’s trying to act all the words out while he’s singing about a stranger in his bed and pink flamingos in his (nonexistent) pool. When he gets to the part of the chorus talking about taking too many shots, he gestures for you to hand him the champagne bottle. You hand it over immediately and watch as he stops singing entirely to take a long drink straight from the bottle, ignoring how attractive he looks the whole while. You actually think that you’d really like to kiss him. You’re drunk, and you’re heartbroken. You just want to laugh and forget about it all. So when he chokes on the champagne for a moment and flounders to find where he’s supposed to be in the song, you do just that.
The song ends both too soon and not soon enough, and you give him a round of applause, chanting, “Encore!” a few times as he takes a bow.
“I’m Oscar Piastri,” he yells, “and I fucking hate relationships!”
You cheer loudly. “Speak on it!”
“Except I have a problem,” he says, all of a sudden dejected as he flops onto the couch beside you, still speaking into the mic. “I have a biiiig, huuuuge problem.”
“Tell the all-knowing, and she shall answer,” you turn onto your side to face him and reach out to… you don’t remember what you wanted to do. Maybe touch his cheek. Or his nose. Or his lips.
Your hand ends up resting on the top of his head, fingers tangled in the soft strands of his hair.
“I think I might really like you,” he whispers, his words muffled by his lips smushing against the top of the mic. “Which is not good. I mean, it’s good, like, I think you’re amazing, but it’s not good, because I broke up and then you broke up, so we both broke up, but not with each other, with other people, and–”
You cut him off by taking the mic from him with your free hand and switching it off.
“Sorry.” He says, blinking at you slowly. “Do we have to talk about this?”
“We do,” you begin, petting his head. “Eventually. But not now. I am way too drunk to talk about this.”
This makes him start giggling, so you start giggling, and then you’re both cackling and clutching your stomachs.
You want to laugh, and forget about it, and you want to do it every single day with Oscar.
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The first time you say the name Oscar Piastri, it’s while you’re laying in a hospital bed.
You’ve always been notorious for getting easily bruised, but breaking a bone is a first. Especially when it happens in the public eye.
You were only trying to make a cute, aesthetic TikTok showcasing your first race weekend as Oscar’s official girlfriend when you tripped and fractured your ankle in front of half the McLaren team. Not to mention the throng of fans mere feet away.
The two of you didn’t start dating until half a year after his drunken confession, and when you first started going out you had to be very discreet so fans didn’t expose the both of you before either of you were ready. Most of your dates ended up being at your aunt and uncle’s, which had become your home too once you got a job and started really getting yourself together after your breakup. He flew out to see you all the time, and as soon as he suggested that you come with him to the race of the season, you jumped on the opportunity. You didn’t think you’d ever go to a race again, but here you were. You were both happy, and you were both ready.
And now you’re fuming, mentally cursing yourself as you look down at your boot-covered ankle that has now effectively ruined your entire weekend.
Oscar comes rushing into the room, and you hold up a hand.
“Don’t tell me. Do not even tell me.” You shake your head. “Just tell me if it’s somewhat safe to go online or if I should just throw my phone out.”
“What?”
“I know people are talking about it. Oh, no.” Your eyes widen. “No, no. I’ve become a public embarrassment for you. I knew it. It only took me a few hours.” You cover your face with your hands. “Oh, my God… I am so sorry.”
“Again, what?” He asks, prying your hands away. “Baby, are you okay?”
“I’m fine, aside from that,” you gesture to the boot, glaring at it before your eyes shoot back up to him. “Wait a second, how did quali go? Did you do your media stuff already?”
“I’m starting P5. I came here right after, no media.” He rushes out, pulling up a chair so he can sit right next to you and hold your hand. “They’re letting you go, right?”
“Yeah, just have to do some paperwork and get a prescription– why didn’t you go to the media?”
“Because they told me you got hurt? And you needed to be hospitalized?” He says, like it’s obvious.
“Oz, you get fined for that!” You exclaim. “Oh, no, this is so bad! First I embarrass you– no, not just you, probably the entire team, and now you’re here and not there and you’re going to get in trouble… fuck, what if you get fired?!”
“Baby, baby,” Oscar laughs, grabbing both of your hands now. “I’ll get fined, but I’m not gonna get fired just because I skipped media one time. Zak was fine with it, if that makes you feel better.”
You’re still worried, and he can see it in your eyes.
“What’s got you so worked up about this?” He asks softly.
“I just… don’t want to be a risk towards your career.” You say, feeling ashamed that you can still hear Pato’s words from the day he broke up with you. Oscar knows immediately.
“Oh, honey,” he sighs, leaning in and kissing you on the lips, and then your nose. “None of this means anything if I don’t have you.”
You’re still taking it slow, but this is the closest either of you have come to saying “I love you” without saying it, so you pull your hands from his and cup his cheeks to pull him into another kiss.
“Oscar Piastri, you are my whole world.”
Ten minutes later, Lando comes bursting into the room with such aggression that he almost faceplants, and he makes so much noise that a nurse runs into the room looking highly concerned.
So, you laugh, and you forget about it, and you do it with Oscar at your side, where you know he’ll stay for the rest of your lives.
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note: this was a bitch to write. also i was gonna make a layout for this but i really wanted to post it tonight so it is sans layout and was edited like a half hour before it’s scheduled to post. all that being said, i hope u enjoyed!!
my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!
reblogs are greatly appreciated <33
dividers by @/saradika
tags: @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @cixrosie @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @imheretoread @mellowarcadefun @yourbane @monsieurbacteria6 @c-losur3 @papayatori @ssprayberrythings @namgification @maih23 @evlkking @witchycarmen @ilovethispookie @maxverstappenfan79 @sya-skies @sweatrevenge5436-blog @kimis-gloves @mia-rrrs @decafmickey @customsbyjcg-blog @bigheartsthings @tania2748 @scuderiadevils @iloveyou3000morgan @ctrlyomomma @hiireadstuff @daemyratwst @arian-directioner @evelyn-ny @avg-golden-retriever
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washeduphazbin · 2 months
Note
Could I get a one shot of, y/n is like Adam’s life ex gf she left after getting tired of his shit.. ended up falling in love with Lucifer.. (Mr. Steal yo girl thrice) and during the Adam and Lucifer battle Lucifer taunts that he stole all three of his lovers
YES. YES. I'm in love with Lucifer. Your wish is my command.
Sorry it's so short if we like maybe part 2
Also, poly luci x reader x Lilith (sorry, not sorry)
———
“Little duck?” Lucifer asked softly, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. You were holding onto one of his plush ducks rather tightly,
"I can't help but think...that this extermination is my fault." Lucifer let out a gasp and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, "Lulu-"
"I won't have that negative self-talk in my house." Your brow furrowed in distress,
"But-"
"No buts."
"Lucifer! Adam's absolutely moved up the extermination to spite Charlie and us!" You argued, "I...what if I go back to him."
"Excuse me, what?"
"I don't want to!" You moved away from him to the portrait of Lilith, you and Lucifer hanging in the corner of the room. "I really don't want to..." You raised your hand and brushed against Lilith's horns and Lucifer's staff in the portrait. "You know I don't belong here; I'm not a demon, a sinner, or an angel either. I'm just a human who fell because I fell in love with you and your family." You smiled sadly over at him, holding out your hand. Lucifer squeezed it tightly, "What if I can solve all of this by just going back with Adam."
"That's not happening; I'm not letting you go back to that fuckwad;" He scoffed, brushing a hand through your hair, "Do you think you'll be happier with him? Without us? Without Charlie?"
"No." You laughed bitterly, "Of course not, Charlie would kill me."
"She absolutely would. You're like another mother to her; she wouldn't let you go back to that hellscape without a fight. Neither will I; I have a few words I'd love to share with Adam."
"Oh yeah? What would you say?"
"I'm sure you'll get to hear it eventually," he mused, leaning closer to kiss your cheeks. "Just stay safe and stay away from the Hotel until Charlie or I give you the okay, okay?"
"Okay." You whispered softly, bending down to plant a kiss on his lips,
"Did you really have to bend down like that," He huffed, hitting you gently with his cane.
"Oh, absolutely."
---
"Stay home? STAY HOME?" You roared, grabbing Lucifer's shoulders, "Everyone dying, and you want me to stay home!"
"For your safety and everyone's safety. Yes." He squeezed your shoulders tightly, "If it's between you and Charlie, I-"
"You choose Charlie every time."
"I love you-"
"I know. I love you too." You smiled softly, "Kick Adam in the dick for me?"
"It would be my pleasure, my lady. Here," Lucifer handed you his phone, "It'll live stream the battle; I hacked a VoxTech drone." He puffed his chest out proudly, and you beamed, taking his phone from his hands.
"I can't wait to see Adam get dick punched in HD!"
"There's the bloodlust I love so much; if I didn't have to go save Hell, I'd totally fuck you right now."
"Then you better leave now so you can come back and fuck me as soon as possible."
"Yes, ma'am!" He gave the dorkiest salute before teleporting out of the room.
---
"I am going to FUCK you!"
"It's fuck you up...dad."
Your face palmed, curling up on the bed, Lucifer's phone in your hand, watching the live stream.
"What? What did I say? Oh Shit-" Lucifer burst into laughter as he transformed into a snake to avoid being hit by Adam, "So this is what you've been up to since Eden, huh? I gotta you really let yourself go, buddy."
"Are you judging me?" Adam snarled in a disbelieving laugh, "You're the most hated being in all of creation!" Lucifer snickered as he turned into a bird,
"Well, your first wife didn't seem to hate what I had to offer, or the second bow chica. Wow, wow!" He splayed his fingers out in a V shape and stuck his tongue in between his fingers, "Not to mention your third."
"I'm sorry what!" He snarled,
"Oh, you didn't know? (Y/n)'s a doll, the tightest pussy Lilith and I've EVER shared!"
You made a horrified sound at the phone, wanted to absolutely curl up into a ball and die, Charlie didn't look any better.
"Dad!"
"You are so dead!" Adam shouted, "And I'm gonna find that bitch, and I'm going to make her pay!"
"Sure you are," he snorted, "I'd like to see you try."
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inkskinned · 1 year
Text
okay yes it's often bad and hard and sometimes i am so anxious my whole body feels like it's vibrating but also at the same time the gps took me a different way on my drive and i got to see more of the river than i usually do and yesterday the sun was still above the horizon after 7pm and that was amazing and the whole sky turned an orange-gold like how they try to make ice cream taste; you know, one of those evenings that just tears you open no matter how jaded you get. it's warm for the first time here and people had lined up against the water just to stand outside and watch the sunset
and yeah it's tax season no i haven't done mine yet but when i mentioned it offhand in a single side-comment three days later my friend sent me a list of helpful tips and followed up to see if i'd need help on them
there's this parking lot for a walking trail near where i live and one of the two google reviews is my actual favorite: love it here. there were so many beautiful parking spots but sadly we could only take one. and no this person isn't going to go viral and probably the only people navigating to this spot are extremely local - but there's something so precious to me about someone taking the time to write something that will make strangers in their community laugh, even though there's no way for me to tell them good one! directly
yes i am not doing well sometimes i'm doing even very-badly but recently i have been given enough breathing room to say okay, this situation is bad, but then it will be over, and you will be moving onto the next thing and it's true that i need to get groceries and pay rent and argue with my health insurance but it is also true that in the absolute stress and anarchy of my life today someone recognized my dog before they recognized me and was so excited because "they tell everyone about the greyhound in the area and didn't get a picture before so can they take a picture now please"
in class we all stand in a circle and are all grown adults and for a moment while the teacher is figuring something out, we all hold hands, just to be silly and connected. for no reason at all at 8pm on a thursday my friends and i start breaking out the dance moves to high school musical. my coworker gchats me during a meeting about the book he recommended to me and i'm enjoying reading
i help a high school set up for a star-themed dance and while putting up streamers i find graffiti that says if you're reading this, i love you, and we're both going to get out of here right next to fuck everyone, live out of spite, don't let the fuckers make you die. on the bridge where i walk my dog someone has written i love you and on the sidewalk in chalk someone has written i love you and on the side of the water tower someone has written i love you
at the bottom of a text post an internet poet says - i love you, i love you, i love you. i've never met you, i love you because you exist and we exist together. and isnt that enough for now. just for this moment, i mean. like, if you just close your eyes and breathe - somewhere, across this world, i love you, because you're here with me.
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