#I can’t even even make myself pronounce it the way they do when I try

[yellobb]

Moving away from where you grew up is fun because suddenly you’re made aware of words that you apparently say with an accent and never realized

#m rambles #my coworkers ruthlessly tease me for the way I say ‘on’ #(all in good fun of course) #I can’t even even make myself pronounce it the way they do when I try #apparently I put a bit of a w sound in between #so I say it more like ‘awn’ #anyway what’s y’all’s weird accented words? #and not just the basic ones that everyone debates about like pecan or caramel #like a fun one

[bellarkeselection]

Hiii!! I saw that you wrote for Georgie Cooper from you Sheldon and I was wondering if you would write for him again 😊 Can I get Georgie with a latina gf that loves to cook, whenever she goes over to his house she's always bringing food from her culture (I'm Mexican so Mexican food ofc) .

Culture Cooking

I am not Latina so I hope I wrote this correctly 🤗 and a very short request in my opinion but I hope you still enjoy

Coming out of Missy’s room that used to be Georgie’s old bedroom, I had decided to get up early and make the family breakfast. I had stayed the night after my date with her older brother, and we didn’t get back till really late, so she said I could sleep over in her room. Walking down the small hallway and into the kitchen, I got lost in thought, thinking of the ingredients that I needed. I have been bringing over some spices and stuff when I would come over here. I loved cooking for Georgie, and he always seemed to enjoy my family's food. “Hey…uh what are you doing up this early?”

Whipping my head around away from the stove I saw Georgie stumbling his way into the kitchen. “Oh hey. I thought I’d make the family my kind of breakfast.”

“Sweet.” He smiled sitting down at the table watching me go back to cooking. My family had moved to Texas after my father got a new job here being the assistant principal.

One day after I was leaving from English class I had been walking down the hallway and accidentally bumped into Georgie. All of our notebooks went flying and that’s how we met basically. Turning the oven off I put the whole meal together on a plate and slid it across the table to him. “I present to you one of my families favorite things to eat for breakfast.”

“Woah this smells really good.” Georgie gave me praise picking up his fork and dove right in. He took a big bite making the same noise he does whenever his Meemaw makes brisket for dinner that he loves.

Georgie stared at me with a mouth full of food. “So what’s in this?”

“Let’s see it’s a fried tortilla topped with salsa. And there’s eggs, pulled chicken, cream cheese and bean included inside it too.” I chuckled sitting down and taking some bites out of the one I had made for myself with him.

Georgie took a few minutes to finish his food wiping some sauce that was left on his plate. I bite my lip trying not to laugh at seeing some cream in his hair where I moved one hand up wiping it away. “Awe dang it! I guess you are a really good cook if I get it in my hair.” He chuckled back at me.

“Yeah suppose so.” I responded moving our plates off the table hearing someone else entering the kitchen seeing it was Missy.

She squealed hugging me by the waist. “Hi Y/n. What did you make for breakfast?”

“She made a fried tortilla.” Her older brother said forking some more from the pan onto his plate.

Missy gave me a confused look. “A fried tortilla?”

“Yes but it’s actually called Chilaquiles.” I told her before she sat down and I made her a plate of her own.

Georgie finished his second plate putting his plate up in the sink then came over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist bringing me closer to his chest with that same cheeky grin. “Even if I can’t pronounce your food half the time. You’re still a really good cook. Everybody in the family enjoys it. So thank you for this and all the other meals.”

“You’re welcome, Georgie. I always love cooking for y’all.” Draping my arms over his shoulders I grinned up at him kissing him slowly where he tightened his hands around me deepening the kiss.

He moved one hand into my hair and the other on my waist. We we’re getting caught up in the kiss that we almost wound have gone further if it wasn’t for his sister being in the kitchen with us. “Eww. If I knew you two were going to kiss after you ate I would have eaten my breakfast in front of the tv.” Missy made a look of discomfort.

“Awe I’m sorry Missy. I can’t help if he’s a good kisser and likes my food at the same time.” I shrugged my shoulders with him draping an arm over my shoulder so I laid my head on his shoulder since he was slightly taller than I was.

Georgie looped our hands together sending me a smirk. “Best of both words, my darling. You’re pretty awesome Y/n.”

“Stop being cute or I’m gonna barf my food.” She whined at us with her tounge sticking out.

I gasped remembering that their parents were already at work for the day so that left Sheldon in our care. Snapping my fingers at Missy I questioned his twin sister worried he needed to eat. “Missy, go tell your brother that I made breakfast.”

“Sheldon, Y/n made breakfast!” She spun around in her seat hollering towards their bedroom causing me and her older brother to start cracking up in laughter. Squeezing Georgie’s hand in mine I always enjoyed anytime I got to cook for this family.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

#georgie cooper imagine #georgie cooper x reader #montana jordan #georgie cooper #the big bang theory #young sheldon #young sheldon imagine #young sheldon x reader #x reader #mexican #mexican food #ask box is open for anything #comments really appreciated #latina #latina reader #chilaquiles

[rendezvouz-fling]

Astro Observations #20

• Is it just me or do most saturnian moons (Aqua/Cap) tend to grow up with single mothers who only care about making money and having multiple boyfriends? Lmao.

• I feel bad for Gemini risings with Aries mercuries because they’re so genuine and they might be very chatty but it’s their biggest love language.🤎 I think this might also apply to just about every other Gemini rising too!

• I feel bad for Aries moons with Libra mercuries/risings because yes they can be a little hot headed but they won’t be flat out bold and they might beat around the bush a lot! On the other hand though when they’re really arguing with somebody they might switch to intellect and surprisingly demolish that person.✋🏽

• People with mercury at a Fire degree (1, 5, 9, 13, 17, 21, 23, 29) love to exaggerate things! Calling myself out too, chile!😩😂

• Virgo suns with Cancer venuses and Leo mars can be very sweet and caring but also very scorning, abrasive and wants themselves/their partner & kids to look/dress their best almost all the time! Pretty much the always picture-ready type moms.

• You better believe that even if a Sagittarius moon won’t say it they might feel hurt and start detaching until they’re completely gone out of your life and you’re left wondering what went wrong.

• Tbh idk why but Libra mercuries also be out here saying mean, out-of-pocket stuff just not normally in people’s faces so maybe that’s why their friends might not take them seriously.

• Whereas Aries mercuries probably have a reputation of arrogance and downright disrespectfulness but they can also be very nice especially if you’re close with them. You’ll notice they just like to cuss for fun lol.

• Scorpio mercuries need to stop being on interrogation mode!😭

• Gemini mercuries be telling some of the funniest stories and their facial expressions/hand gestures make it even more funnier than it has to be.😭🤣

• Dear Cancer mercuries, you guys are so thoughtful and caring Ilysm!

• Capricorn mercuries, you’re not boring and I love how also detail oriented you are!

• Can I just say Cap mercuries so be out here clowning too! 😂 I have a close friend who’s a Cap sun & mercury and she says funny things often, she just has a very articulate way of speaking but besides that she’s hilarious!🤣

• I recently noticed people with Air/Earth placements tend to have speech impediments and other stuff. E.g. my little sister is a Virgo sun/moon & Libra stellium and she can’t pronounce the letter ‘R’. I have a Gemini rising at 23 degree, Capricorn mars & other air placements and I used to have a speech impediment and developed selective muting. 💀

• Having Air/Fire placements can be such a challenge! 😭 My Aries mercury just be saying anything along with the super chatty Gemini rising but then later my Aquarius moon has a pep talk moment and makes me say “Why the fuck did I say that? Now they’re going to think I’m—” 😂😂😂

• People with harsh aspects between the sun and pluto might be known as open books but they might become self-conscious about it and have the urge to remain a mystery yet they can’t help but overshare!😭

• They might also think about it often! Like it might haunt them.💀

• Gemini venuses are soo fun!! I’d literally take these people with me if I was to go on a road trip because they’d keep me entertained and we could just goof around & talk about anything lol.

• You might also find yourself attracting/being attracted to people who’s venus sign is your rising sign!

• Pisces venus, for the sake of your own life please stop staying in toxic relationships because you fear being abandoned and think it isn’t worth it because you’ve been with this person so long—LEAVE. ✋🏽

• Cancer venus, you know I love you but sometimes you gotta stop trying to control people. 😭

• Scorpio venus, with you I feel like we’re always on the same page and see eye to eye in most things/interests.

• Capricorn venus you are literally one of the most giving venus signs! I literally love you!!<3

• Sagittarius mars men having a thing for smacking their girlfriend’s butt.🤣

• Leo mars want only the best of the best especially if there’s Taurus in the mix!

• While Libra risings might develop people pleasing tendencies, Gemini risings tend to develop social anxiety.

• I’ve seen so many Gemini suns always point out that they either have or think they have a mental illness. Especially ADHD.😨😰

• Yes Earth suns are normally very chill and grounded. But add some Air and especially Fire in the mix and they’ll be the most erratic, short tempered people you’ve seen!🙃

• Fire mercuries/mercuries at Fire degrees, how does it feel to get shouted at your whole life then gas-lighted and blamed when you turn out to be a sharp-tongue individual?

• Gemini moons and their many 1-3 Am shows in their rooms.😭 Same for Aqua and Libra moons but Gemini moons do it more often lol.

• If somebody is very generous, bold, funny, and gets pissed off/defensive very quickly then they’re an Aries dom.❤️‍🔥

• Taurus moon, why are you so stubborn?

• The best thing to hear is “Okay fine.” From an Aquarius/Taurus moon when you’ve finally got them to change their opinion that they stubbornly wouldn’t let go of lol.

• 9H moons tend to be very attached to their ideas/opinions/beliefs. I can testify😂

• I’ve noticed some 2H moons tend to stress eat?

• 7H moons looove music and fashion!💗

• 9H Aquarius moons are normally cultured people.

• Fire moons are the loyalest friends hands down. I said what I said.✋🏽❤️

• Scorpios suns with Sagittarius moons/mercuries somehow be coming up with the funniest life-stories??😭🤣

• I’ve noticed Sagittarius mercuries tend to be awesome yet underrated songwriters! E.g. Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe who wrote most of their songs😩🖤

• Say what you will but some Leo risings literally exude not only a very charming but bright aura! David Lee Roth is literally your typical Leo Rising!🦁🌞

#astro community #astroblr #astro posts #astro placements #astrology #astro blog #astro observations #rendezvous-fling #capricorn moon #aquarius moon #gemini rising #aries mercury #aries moon #libra rising #virgo sun #cancer venus #leo mars #sagittarius moon #libra mercury #scorpio mercury #gemini mercury #cancer mercury #capricorn mercury #gemini venus #pisces venus #scorpio venus #fire mars #taurus moon #leo rising #sagittarius mercury

[insipid-drivel]

Southern Colloquialisms To Enrage ESL Bloggers:

I see a few posts asking international and other tumblr bloggers to supply the literal English translations to common colloquial phrases for the sake of the sheer silliness, strangeness, and outright lunacy of what happens when you take a colloquialism and take it literally (Factoid: linguists refer to this process as “Pidgin”)

But what about Southern colloquialisms from the United States that don’t even make sense in their native language? Hello! My great-great grandmother was born in a ditch outside of a mud house with mud floors in the Dust Bowl in the United States and I didn’t know I had a Southern accent until my friends in the Pacific Northwest pointed it out!

I have relatives from all along the Bible Belt, aka the “Old South” that, you know... Yeah. A few of my cousins are awesome people and we trade notes over ridiculous phrases our relatives and elders used that we never understood, but accepted on a spiritual level. Here are some I grew up with:

“Got myself a short cold.” - “I have seasonal allergies and just mowed the lawn.”

“Oh, crap and molasses!” - “I forgot something at home and we’re already almost to our destination and I don’t want to swear in front of polite company and small children.”

“Eating high on the hog tonight!” - “We’re not eating scrap cuts and offal for dinner because steaks were 2-for-1 today.”

“Hoecake” - A form of pancake or “Johnny Cake” made from corn meal instead of flour. They’re delicious.

“Catawampus” or “Cattywampus” - “I’m gonna have to wash that off the ceiling but at least it worked. It’s messy.” 

 “Piddling” and “Piddly” - Any worthless or time-wasting endeavor or result that helps no one. “This paycheck is plum piddly, hoss. Quit piddlin’ ‘round and gimme that re-GI-nal manager’s job y’all know I’m qualified for.”

“Hoss” - “Boss” that you also think could probably beat the crap out of you behind an alley for catching you cheating at pool.

“That boy’s bigger’n a brick shithouse.” - “Your physique and muscular stature is intimidating to the degree that I am complimenting you by comparing you to a solid structure everyone would regret trying to knock down.” 

“Crazier’n a shithouse rat.” - “Dude, please talk to a psychiatrist.”

“Doohickey” - Any object or concept you can’t remember the name of but need urgently. Often accompanied by aggressive hand waving in the approximate direction of said object without actually looking at it.

“Y’all better hush up back there!” - Your grandmother’s polite way of warning you she’s going to take a flyswatter to your ass if you don’t shut the fuck up in Church.

“Y’all’d’ve” - A real contraction I can’t even stop myself from using meaning “You all should/would have” and am leaving here just for the English majors out there. 

“Dude” - A completely urbanized individual who has no idea how to live or function in a rural or wild setting without technology and utilities and can’t ride a horse or milk a cow.

“Proudboy” - Oh yes, it was already a thing. In Southern slang, a “Proudboy” is a neutered male horse that still acts like he’s a badass stallion the mares will want to mate with. “Poor proudboy ain’t noticed yet, bless his heart.” 

“Bless his/hers/your heart.” -  “Because the Good Lord sure didn’t bless your head.” It’s also used as a heartfelt form of “Thank you” when someone goes out of their way to offer you a kind and thoughtful gesture. Context is important.

“Don’t let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya.” - “You are no longer welcome in this space and if you don’t leave now I’m literally going to slam the door on your ass.” 

“Living in high cotton” - “I have achieved fiscal success and am using a colloquial term to refer to it without considering the fact that the term originated out of slave plantations.”

“If the creek don’t rise.” - Basically “Knock on wood.” A term meaning, “I’ve prepared for everything but what I can’t prepare for or anticipate and will achieve my goal so long as it is within my power to do it.” Bonus points if you pronounce “creek” as “crick”.

 “Fixin’ to” - Another polite way of indicating you’re about to aggressively undertake a task. “I’m fixin’ to whip ya ass, son.” This is not to be confused with “Fixin’s” singular, which refers to the ingredients or catalysts required to cook or complete something that requires assembly.

“Doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.” - A hill of beans is a Southern unit of measurement for anything that remains worthless regardless of how much of it you have, much like NFTs. “Your anti-TERF ‘sources’ don’t amount to a hill of beans, proudboy.”

“(Way) Over yonder” - “It’s over there, and the number of times I repeat the word ‘way’ prior to ‘over’ is indicative of how much yonder is between you and there. Sorry, what’s a yonder? You just asked me to show you! It’s way, way over there! Bless your heart...”

“Madder than a wet hen.” - “Oops, you have reached ‘yikes’ level of pissed off. Better skedaddle!”

“Skedaddle” - “RUN AWAY FAST NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

“It’s blowin’ up a storm.” - The sensory indicators of an oncoming heavy storm or hurricane that presents with the smell of ozone, high humidity, and an abrupt drop in temperature. Yes, it’s a thing; I can also smell when a storm’s gathering and it is a distinct set of very subtle odors.

“Pretty as a peach.” - “That individual whose pronouns are irrelevant but is most commonly a woman or proud of rocking a femme aesthetic is exceptionally beautiful and I admire them.” 

“Busy as a cat on a hot tin roof.” - “We’re overburdened and understaffed to the point that I am numb to all forms of communication that don’t involve someone being on fire.”

“Aren’t you precious.” - Not a question unless it begins with “Well,”. Depending on tone, it either is a high compliment toward someone’s appearance or behavior being exceptional, or as a sarcastic response to when someone says something insulting to you. “Awww, you’re so sweet, baby sister!” vs. “That insult was just adorable.” 

“Yes Sir/Ma’am/Mx” - Also applies to “No”. Answering a question with “Sir”, “Ma’am”, or “Mx” to someone that is your age or older is just considered universally respectful in polite conversation. If a Southern person suddenly stops answering your questions with your preferred pronouns or never does at all, it probably means they have 0 respect for you. When the small niceties disappear, you’ve fucked up.

“Frunchard” - “Front yard”, the opposite of the back yard. 

“Quit being ugly.” - “Stop being an asshole.”

“He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.” - “You’re so stupidly full of yourself you’d probably honestly believe the sun rises and sets just for you.”

“That dog won’t hunt.” - “I know you believe it’s a good idea, but uh... it’s not.” Also used in place of replying to a person’s excuse you know is 100% bullshit.

“Well, I declare...” - “I am about to obliquely reveal broad adjectives reflective of my emotional state or opinion about this state of affairs and you should probably prepare yourself for more nonsensical colloquialisms.”

“My eyeballs are floating.” - “I need to pee so badly it isn’t going to be an option very, very soon.”

“Can’t never could.” - “Can’t never could do nothing!” That’s... that’s literally it. I can’t elaborate any more than saying it’s a term indicating you’re feeling optimistic. 

“Give him two nickels for a dime and he’ll think he’s rich.” - “This person’s stupidity is physically painful to experience.”

“That makes me wanna slap my mama!” - “I am so impressed/pleased with that experience that we’ve circled around to domestic violence somehow.” 

“You could start an argument in an empty house.” - “Go to anger management classes.”

“Ain’t got the good sense God gave a rock.” - “I cannot fathom this level of lack of common sense and forethought and require divine intervention immediately.”

“Slicker than pig snot on a radiator.” -  “That person is the Webster’s definition of a scumbag.”

“About as useless as a screen door on a submarine.” - I think that one is pretty self-explanatory.

“There’s not a pot too crooked that a lid won’t fix.” - “There’s someone out there for everyone. Don’t give up on finding love and companionship just because you’re different.”

#southern slang

[ubbesbabymama]

We have a problem.

↳ Pairing. Ivar the Boneless.

↳ Summary. In where Ivar despises how much he admires you.

↳ Word count. 1.9K.

↳ Warnings. Mention of violence(? I mean, the show is violent, heated moment but not smut.

↳ Note. You could say it’s kind of an enemies to lovers, but a bad one so sorry for that.

For the love of the gods, he despises you. You make him use his manners even when he doesn’t feel like it, you make him say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ as if he’s not your king, and you even give him the same look his brothers uses to give him when he gave an idea and they didn’t even think about it. He definitely hates you.

But he’s not going to attempt to harm you, oh he will never.

“Get ready, we’re going to study the battlefield,” He says when his army and you are finished making camp in England.

He grunts when you ignore him, instead holding your cup to a thrall so she can fill it with some ale.

“Please,” He murmurs.

“Great, let’s go my king.” You chant, standing up and starting to walk to one of the horses, with some men following you. He rolls his eyes.

“I hate when you do that,” He says when you both are already on the way to the field where the fight is gonna take place.

“You may be my king but I’m not a slave, you treat me like an equal even if we are not in your eyes.” You say.

You are his strongest warrior, his right hand if we are being honest, with the hate and everything. He’s certain that you’re a far better tactician than he is and that same methodical thinking that he has is what makes you the second most dangerous person in his kingdom, after him. You never show your full potential but your smug attitude towards him is enough to know that you are what you talk, and for that he hates you. Because he admires you so much that he can’t help but to put you in the same position he has his father.

“Oh, a wood I see,” You murmur with a smirk.

“It will be difficult to fight here,” He says.

“Say who?” You ask and he raises an eyebrow at you. “Look around, my king.”

And he does, he looks around trying to see whatever the fuck you’re seeing but he can’t think of a decent strategy that involves these enormous trees.

“You have lost your mind, we definitely can’t fight here.” He shrugs and you sigh.

“Don’t be stupid.”

“Watch your mouth.” He snaps, his breathing already increasing at the anger starting to bubble inside of him.

“I said, don’t be stupid,” You repeat slowly, making sure that you pronounce every word and he swears that if it wasn’t because of how much he needs your skills you would be dead right there and then. “This time we brought more archers than we usually do.”

You get off your horse and start walking to a tree that it’s easy to climb. Ivar looks at you with curiosity.

“They will expect us to fight them there,” You point to where the land doesn’t have trees. “For that’s the way we normally fight, but we can give them a welcome before the real fight. Lower their number as much as we can.”

“With archers.” He hums and you nod, taking your own arch and arrow and aiming at him.

“With archers.” You murmur and he smiles when you shoot, hitting a deer that was several meters away from him. “That will definitely be a good way of starting the fight.”

“Starting? You just want to start the fight here?” He asks, watching you walk to him after climbing off the tree.

“Obviously.” You roll your eyes and he sighs for the nth time. “We will have men where is clear and men hiding along the path from where they are gonna come from. We will force them to fight here, if they try to run back they will face our men, and if they try to run straight…”

“They will face our men.” Ivar murmurs, smirking.

He doesn’t see you again till the next day when is the time to fight, he made sure everybody was aware of the plan and made sure to position you by his side, to keep an eye on you he says.

“You know I can defend myself right?” You tell him when you’re on positions.

“And?”

“You always put me by your side when we are fighting,” You say and he ignores that, looking straight to where the enemy is supposed to get intercepted by the archers. “If you want to protect me so much just say it.”

“Who says I want to protect you?” He snarls with feigned disgust. “I have to, for I remind you that you’re my second in command.”

“Are you sure, my king?” You chuckle and he looks at you. “Are you sure that’s all I am?”

He hates you. Because you know that all his hate is a fucking acting to hide his true feelings, because you know he dies to have you and you use that to your advantage to get under his skin.

“And if you’re more so what?” He snaps.

“Then go to my tent if I make it out alive.” You laugh, and just in time some of the enemies come from out of the wood.

And just like you said, it was a small number, the others were probably dead or fighting with the other group of warriors on the other side.

“Let’s do this, my king.” You say excited, and he smiles. You adore to fight.

You fight without a care in the world, laughing, smiling and enjoying the slaughtering you were making, with him not too far away watching your back by throwing his axe and making a slaughtering of his own.

His army win, as he imagined, and he can’t be more proud of his army, and you.

Late at night he finds himself crawling to your tent, finding you taking a bandage off your thigh, showing a kind of deep wound.

“I didn’t see that earlier, when did you get it?” He asks, not waiting for you to give him permission to enter and doing it anyways, he sits in front of you.

“I didn’t say you can come in.”

“When. Did. You. Get. It.” He grunts. He can’t believe you got hurt when he was supposed to be protecting you without your knowledge.

“It was when we were making sure they were all dead, one used his last breath to try to do some damage and he cut me. It’s not as deep as it seems, it’s just that it opened when I was moving around.” You explain.

He crawls a little more till he’s sitting sideways in front of your open legs. It’s just now that he realizes that you’re just wearing an undergarment, a really thin one.

With shaky hands he takes the bowl with a cloth that you have on the floor and just when he’s gonna start cleaning the open wound he gets distracted with the amount of skin on display, his stare going up so slowly he’s sure you notice. And you do.

“You came into my tent to see my chest, my king?” You say in a mocking tone and he looks to the cloth in his hand.

He stays like that till he feels your hand on his chin, making him look up. You shrug.

“At least clean my wound first and the you’ll have all time in the world to stare,” He abruptly moves his face from your grip and you laugh.

But he puts the bowl on the floor and climbs onto your bed, sitting by your side and forcing himself to show confidence when he takes your leg and put it on his thigh, you take the bowl for him, not giving attention to the fact that the little dress scrunched up with your new position.

Slowly, with a patience he doesn’t have he starts to clean your wound, grimacing like he’s the one in pain when he feels you sucking a breath. Then, he takes the clean bandage and wrap it nicely around the wound and stay there, with his hands on your knee and thigh. He looks at you.

“You gave me permission to come in.” He murmur and you frown.

“I didn’t.”

“Before you jumped on killing the saxons, you did,” You raise your eyebrows remembering. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have come.”

“Right.”

You stay in a confused silence, confused because you seem to be in peace while he’s nervous and fidgeting with the closeness.

“What’s wrong, are you injured too?” You ask.

“We have a problem.”

“Uh? Something’s wrong?” You sit straight and just when you are going to put the leg down he stops you.

“I want to lay with you.” You suck a breath, just because you didn’t really believe he would give the first step. “For more than one time.”

“What does that mean?” He looks at you like he does everyday, wanting to shake your pettiness.

“It means that I want to be your man, and have you for myself everyday, not just for one night. I want to make you my queen, that’s what it means.” He says everything in one breath and this is the first time that he actually leaves you speechless. “I want you to just… go to bed with me.”

You stay silent, watching his hands and not looking up not even when he squeezes your thigh. He starts to fidget again.

“And where’s the problem in everything you just said?” You murmur.

“Uh?”

“You said we have a problem, where is it?” You ask him and he rolls his eyes.

“The problem is that a cripple wants you, the most powerful shieldmaiden in my whole army,” He grunts. “A man that can’t fucking satisfy—,”

“There you go being stupid again,” You snort softly, while simultaneously moving till you are straddling him and letting him rest his back on your bed, you lean till both of your chests are touching. “Let me remind you that I been knowing you for a long time and I know firsthand that it can work.”

“That’s not true.” He whispers, grabbing your hips.

“I have seen you spy on me when we are raiding and I have to bathe on rivers and trust me,” He looks behind you, not wanting to look you in the eyes. “I could see that it works.”

He grips your hips again and just when he is about to say something foul out of embarrassment you crash your lips with his and right away he moans, his left hand flying to grab the back of your neck to keep you in place, wanting to dominate you but the way you roll your hips distract him.

“Fuck…” He whispers when you bite his lower lip, he softly slaps your ass and you moan in his mouth.

“Again, please,” You whisper and he does just that, smacking your ass again while attentively watching your expression, he does it again. “Fuck, my king.”

He gives you one hard smack that has you gasping, you look at him and he’s dead serious.

“My name.”

“Ivar.”

“Exactly.” You sigh and lean to give him a sweet kiss. “That’s the name that should be leaving your lips.”

“We have another problem.” You murmur right into his mouth.

“What is it?” He whispers, entertained with your ass, caressing it.

“I have to put up with you from now on.”

He grunts.

#vikings imagine #vikings #ivar fanfic #ivar x reader #ivar imagine #ivar ragnarsson #ivar the boneless #ivar the boneless x reader #vikings ivar #ivar vikings #alex hogh imagine

[zensations35]

I Now Pronounce You Allergic (LSSR)

Yeahhh I FINALLY FINISHED IT!! I'm sorry it took forever but IT'S WORTH IT! Ahem...please enjoy Ren and Sasha's first totally-not-a-date where they BOTH find themselves allergic to the flowers at their friends' wedding--and then proceed to have a holdback challenge. Spice warning, yes there is snzfucking!

Skye helps me put the finishing touches on my makeup. I line my lids with blue and pink and a bold purple. 

“Is bi pride appropriate for a lesbian wedding?”

Skye laughs. “Abby won’t care. Kadie,” she trails off, “Who knows with her these days.” Skye clasps hands under her chin and coos. “You look gorgeous.”

Skye helped me pick out a subtly sexy midnight blue dress that I’d been eyeing for weeks but didn’t think I could pull off. It cups my skin so tight it’s like an aura as opposed to a dress.

“How many times have you reassured me about clothes?” Skye’s hand flicks toward my ass--I love the way my ass looks in this dress. 

I pair the dress with silver earrings and bracelet. A purple bandana wraps my hair, the bulk of it gathered in a neat bun at the back.

Skye’s face illuminates as she scrolls through her phone. “Ren’s almost here.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Absolutely. I’m not wanted there--too much history--and! Leo has tickets to Excalion! I’d honestly rather be there.”

“Than your friends’ wedding??”

Skye’s brows rise, “Than an ex’s wedding who can’t stand me? Yes.”

“Fair point.”

Ren picks me up ten minutes later. He’s dressed not unlike he does when he goes to work. Suit, tie, vest, but…is that glitter on his cheek? Skye and I share a look and I see that ‘he’s so adorable’ look on her face. 

The venue is big--bigger than I expected from what Ren’s told me about one of the brides. Wide pillars, an archway the size of twelve Rens, marble fucking floors?? Who needs that??

Ren leads me inside and noise surrounds us, people chatting and laughing. I’m swallowed by sound and scents and--

My body turns to iron and I stop walking. Ren startles and looks at me with confusion. But my eyes are fixed on the tables. The tables with bright, purple, bushy…flowers. A very specific flower. 

“Ah,” Ren hums as if it makes complete sense. “Yes, I was afraid of this.”

I stare at the offensive flowers. If looks could shank you in a back alley, those flowers would be a crime scene. My lips pinch. The chatter around me numbs to a dull hum. Everything loses focus. 

The flowers start to warble and blur behind a saline lens. My sight is compromised. My nose sucks all of the energy out of my other senses. As if it’s putting on a damn light show.

I feel my lip twitch. I hone in on the tickle--the wretched sensation that’s going to ruin this whole experience. My lips form a crescent scrunch and I hear myself growl.

“Ahm…” Ren leans next to me. “Sasha?” he tips his head down to look at me and I jerk to the side. “Are you scrunching your nose?”

“No,” I say, but it comes out all congested and 100% unconvincing. 

Ren lifts his brows. “Hm. I see.”

“Hxsh-T!” 

His head snaps toward me as I recover and I feel my bones shrink. Fuck. I shoot him a don’t say a word look and he clamps his lips shut. “No. You saw nothing.” I refuse to let this be a thing. Even though, as we head toward our table, I find it overflowing with the atrocious bouquet and--

“Hyk-TSH-iah!” I snuffle and wipe my eyes with my fingers. Ren hands me a cloth napkin and I try not to glare at him as if this is his fault. 

We’re seated at a four-person table and across from us are two other people. One of them is a very tall, very burly woman who could be on the cover of a weight lifting magazine. Her slinky copper hair is fluffed at the top and pulled into an amalgamation of a ponytail-slash-braid. I can’t imagine an actual salon doing that to her, so it was probably a homemade hair concoction. 

The man she’s seated next to is…significantly smaller. Like, he looks so thin, I’m pretty sure a medium-sized breeze would knock him over. His wrists are bony and I think I see a purple bruise in the crook of his elbow. He also has a cloud of red curls and a matching spray of freckles dotting his face like the woman does. 

I feel my nose threatening to misbehave again and I instinctively look for the champagne. There’s a glass in front of me next to a sheet of paper for each table setting. I inspect it closer and my stomach flips. 

It’s a bingo sheet. There are things like ‘brides kiss without prompt’, ‘Anne talks about her beanie babies’, and--

“Ren sneezes during the best man speech?” the burly woman blurts in a thick drawl. A throaty cackle burst from her, not unlike that of a hyena. “Do you see this, Ikka?” she prods at the text, nudging the man next to her. 

“Please, Iris,” His voice is rich and dull at the same time, accent a strange twang, as if he spent time in the UK and Texas, but not enough to fully form either accent.  

“It’s just funny, right?” her cheeks dimple with a grin. Her voice is raw and boisterous as if she really is finding everything hilarious. 

My eyes fall back onto the phrase: Ren sneezes during the best man speech. It’s right up top. What..the…heck, vanillas?

As if on cue, I hear the raspy intake of air right next to me. And the table jolts as Ren’s knees knock into it at the same time he jerks into a rigid, “HxSZg!” 

I flush and can’t help my eyes rounding. Oh gods…him too?? 

He flashes me a sheepish look and rakes a finger against his nose. “I think we will get at least one point.”

I snort, “You did not…”

Another keening cackle from the lady across the table. “Oh shit, Ikka! That’s him,” she gyrates her wrist toward Ren. She props her chin on her upturned palm. “Tell me, Ren,” she says with a mixture of mischief and amusement, “Do you sneeze a lot?”

The man next to her groans and rolls his eyes. “I am so sorry,” he says to Ren. “She thinks she’s hilarious.”

“Well, I am, ain’t I?”

“Ren!” a floaty voice perks us all up and I see one of the brides hurrying toward us. Her brown hair is braided in a ring around her face and her cheeks are sunny and dimpled.

“Abigail,” Ren stands and lets her scrunch him with a hug. She pulls back and takes his hands, brimming with joy. “I’m so glad you made it! Gosh! I was worried people wouldn’t come because there’s no ceremony but--Ah! Is that your…date?” her eyes flick to me. 

Ren gestures to me, “This is Sasha--Skye’s girlfriend. She is indeed in attendance with me.”

Abigail’s lips form a ring, “Oh, I see. Yeah, I’m so sorry about Skye, but,” she laughs awkwardly, “you know how Kadie is.” A knowing eye roll as her pink lips pucker.

Ren pats her hand, still attached to the V of his suit. “All is well. Skye is with our boyfriend Leo, seeing a concert.”

Abigail laughs uneasily. “Oh, well, good.” Her gaze warms. “I hope you have a good speech prepared. Kadie thinks you could get AI to write it and it would sound exactly like you.”

“I assure you, I did no such thing.”

My face is so tingly right now and I wish Abby would just leave so I can escape to the--

“SS-Ktsh!” I immediately shudder, arms wrapping around my midsection as I tuck my chin into my collar. Oh if I thought one was going to be enough--”Hit’SHKkk!” I was a fool. “Hax-SHIEU!” 

“Oh,” Abigail trails fingers over her chest. “Are you okay?”

I nod, eyes still squeezed shut, free hand roaming the table for the--

Cloth presses into my palm and I feel the brush of Ren’s fingers. “She is well, I assure you. We seem to be experiencing similar issues with,” he gestures to the bouquets. 

“Oh my gosh--I’m so sorry!” Abby coos. “Seriously, Kadie insisted, even though I said you were allergic. She was like, ‘he can just take a benadryl’ and I was--”

“It is quite alright, Abby. We are fine.”

“Are you sure? Because I think my grandma has Claritin?” 

I perk up, “C or D?”

“Uhh, I’m not sure but you could go ask her,” Abigail points to an elderly woman seated next to the bar, with an oxygen tank next to her.

“Uhhh, maybe,” I lie. I’m definitely not sneezing enough to beg an old woman for allergy pills. It’d be just my luck to get her talking about her own allergy journey. I swear anyone over 60 loves to talk about the pollen count. Ydjjjehhhh...my teeth chatter involuntarily.

“Well, just let us know if you need anything!” Abby trills and floats away waving her fingers as if she’s boarding a plane. 

I use the cloth to wipe my eyes again and blow out a frustrated breath. 

“Sasha…” 

I tip my eyes to Ren who looks nothing but concerned. 

“Are you uncomfortable?”

I sniff, shunting my gaze. 

“Please, be truthful.”

I puff. “Yeah, I am.”

“Then we shall leave.”

My shoulders lock. “What! No! These people are your friends! You’re the best man!”

Ren leans down, leveling his liquid blue eyes with mine.

“Sasha, out of everyone here, you are my priority.”

I flush, my heart thrumming through my chest and neck.

“Are you able to handle it?”

I twist the cloth between my fingers, “I don’t know.”

Ren leans over the table, facing to the side so all I see is the apex of his jaw. But he does that single-knuckle rub motion that always always leads to--

*snf* “Hh…” 

I slam my eyes shut and do my best to think of banjo music. 

“Hg-gk…hh-hih!”

And…he stops. His parted lips close. He exhales. Sniffles. Looks at his phone and scrolls like nothing happened. 

I gape at him, my stomach flipping with butterflies. “Seriously?” I snap loud enough for the other table to turn their heads. 

Ren looks at me, flabbergasted. “Was that wrong?”

“Yes!”

“So, I should have just…let it happen?”

“No!”

“Then…” Ren lifts his hands in a shrugging motion. I groan, burying my face in my hands, using it as an excuse to rub my own itchy nose with my palms. 

“Hmm…” Ren taps a pen on a piece of paper. He spins it around and scribbles on it.

Ren 1 Sasha 5

I peer at it, then him, eyes lidded with suspicion. “What the hell is this?”

“A game.”

“A game?”

Ren leans back, “Whoever sneezes the most loses.”

My brows shoot up. “Are you joking?”

“Not particularly.”

I drop back down to the paper. I feel a buzzing in my limbs, as if I’m preparing for a marathon. It feels…exciting? Oh fuck it. My lips tick up and energy rushes through me.

“You’re on, Grayson.”

He smirks.

Ren eyes my champagne glass and points a slender finger. “Do you need another?”

I frown at him, “Will you be okay if I…”

Ren softens. “I will be fine, Sasha. I have been sober for a while now. I am capable of restraint.”

I nod, “Then sure. But grab some strawberries too. And apples! And maybe…”

Snickers from across the table. I look over to see the fitness model laughing. She sees me looking and smiles, wide and warm. “Y’all are so cute!”

I blush and turn to Ren but he’s already standing to leave for the food table.

“Um,” I wrinkle my napkin and clear my throat, “So, how do you know the brides?”

She continues to smile, “I don’t.”

I pause, waiting but she doesn’t continue. 

“Alright, then your date does?”

She bursts into snorts of laughter, wide hands cupping her angular mouth, “Ikka,” she uses her elbow to nudge him and I hear him let out a tiny whine, “she thinks you’re my date.”

His lips crimp in amusement. “So did that other woman--the elderly one.”

My head spins like I’m being exorcized, “Wh-where?” 

“The lady,” he points to a plump graying woman currently a table away, scolding people there for something. Her hair is a curly swoop over her brow and I see at least four crosses on her ears and necklace. 

“Maybe we should play along,” the man, Ikka, says. “I don’t want to explain how we’re related.”

“We don’t have to go into detail, just tell her we’re half siblings.”

He drains his glass and rolls his eyes, “So she can ask why? No thanks.”

My ears prickle when I hear the so obvious sound my brain is fucking attuned for: hitching breaths. My eyes trail the room, searching, but I hear it before I see anything. 

“HkXGn! H-Gk’dsz!” 

It’s quiet, so miniscule I’m sure there are people at the buffet who didn’t even hear it. But I did. 

When Ren arrives and deposits the drink and plate, my lips quirk up, “Two points for you.”

He looks alarmed, “You heard those?”

A laugh bubbles in my throat, “I could hear them from another room, Lawrence.”

I hear the braying laugh as the burly woman claps her hands together. “I think Kadie did the seating, Kah!” 

“Iris, don’t fucking start--”

My left eye twitches. Apparently there’s wedding drama here that I want nothing to do with. I decide right then: I’m sticking to a small ceremony if I get married. 

Ren passes me a plate of fruits, “I was not certain if you wanted red or blackberries, so I took both.”

Iris’s pitched voice calls, “Why do you talk like that?” She’s looking at Ren and my heart sinks.

Ren’s cheeks harden, lines appearing on his forehead. A flare of familiar anger sparks in his eyes as his voice sharpens. “I speak this way so I do not speak,” his chin tips at her, “that way.”

My hand flies out to smack his, “Ren! That was extremely rude!”

He buries his lips in his teeth, eyes shiny from chagrin. He sighs, brushing a thumb across his glass, leaving a scar of condensation behind, “I apologize,” he says to the woman. 

To her credit, she just shrugs and resumes talking to her…brother? But I’m indignant for her. I glare at Ren and frown. “Ren, I get that you have trauma about your accent, but not everyone felt the need to change theirs. Don’t be a jerk.”

Ren nods, “Yes. You are absolutely correct.”

I nod and feel better. I was hoping that wouldn’t turn into an argument. I eat some of my strawberries and the sugar rush makes me kind of giddy. Until I forget where I am and take too big of a breath through my nose. 

My synapses light up and I taste panic hot on my tongue. I’m already tearing up, moisture running down my cheeks. My makeup I worked so hard on is smudging. Fuck. I fumble in my purse for clean tissues but I come up empty. What the hell? I always bring a pack everywhere. Whatever. Lost cause. 

I squeeze my fingers around my necklace to stop it from flopping but, “Hih-XSShh-ieh!” the sneeze rocks my neck, my shoulders. My chin yanks and my hand snaps the metal, the silver chain pooling around my wrist like a liquid snake. 

“Fuck!” I snarl but I’m not done, “Adj’SK!!” I sneeze viciously into the hand holding the chain, feeling the tang of iron on my lips. This can not get any worse. 

I throw myself to my feet, fingers steepled over my nose. Tears blur my vision as hitches flutter against my tongue, “Hhh-ieh! IEH!” My feet fly over the ground, carrying me so fast I stumble. At the same time I’m careening toward the ground, my lips sputter, “Hiex-SHIEEw- UGH!” 

Strong hands wrap around my shoulders and pull me straight up to a standing position so that I’m no longer about to flatten my nose on the tile. I blink away allergic tears as Iris beams at me. She doesn’t seem put off by my splotched, wet face at all. 

“You okay, sweetie?”

I mutter something unintelligible and then cough. “Uhm, kh, yes. I-I’m good. Thank you.” 

“No problem, doll. Can I escort you to the bathroom?”

“Oh, no I can get there fine.”

“I’m on the way myself, but I’ll wait if you need privacy.”

My wrists wag left and right, “Oh, no it’s fine!” My people pleasing ass overrides the need to be alone. “We can both go.”

I let Iris lead the way into the restroom where she takes a stall and I use the mirror to clean up. When she comes out of the stall I'm blowing my nose and apologizing every time I sniffle.

“Ikka gets sick a lot--snot don’t bother me,” she says as she washes her hands.

I titter with her but there’s no way I can explain my special brand of embarrassment. So I take some soft purple tissues and blow my nose. But just when I get it clear, the fire reignites, sending me spilling back into the fluff. 

“Ha-XSSH! Iee’TSHH-ieu! EiSHH!” I snort thickly, “Agh, whad the fugk?” 

Iris rorars a laugh and swipes the napkins, “Yall must be allergic to lavender.”

“Uh,” I sniffle, “Yeah. W--” I point at the cloth, “Are those…”

“Lavender scented,” her eyes shimmer with amusement and I flame bright. “Man,” she chuckles, stuffing the soggy tissues in the trash hole, “They really had it out for you two didn’t they?”

I groan and flick on the faucet. “Seems so.”

 “I can ask Ikka for unscented ones. He usually has some.”

I shake my head, “No-no, that’s okay, I…” I scrunch my nose and clamp my hands over my face. “I just need…a minute….”

Iris pops a shoulder, “Alright. Well, good luck.” She swaggers out of the bathroom, leaving me to my mess. I clean up as best I can and fix my makeup, spraying a setting liquid over it once I’m done. 

It’s been quite a while and I turn to head back, but the drinks swirl in my head and I pause. My eyes land on the stack of lavender tissues. 

I don’t think too hard about it, but I find myself stuffing a few into my purse before fleeing the scene.

When I get out of the restroom, I hear people calling “Toast! Toast!” and I see Ren standing up with a flute of sparkling water. 

I risk a glance at him staring smugly at me as he crosses the room, a cocky grin on his face.. He lifts a finger in the air and tapped the side of his nose before holding up 4 fingers.

Oh. It’s fucking on. 

I hurry to pass Ren him on my way to the table, digging in my bag.

“You’ll need these,” I don't meet his eyes as I stuff the tissues in his hand. I scurry away, shame leaving a hot trail behind me. I don't know why I did that--why did I do that?? I’m a godsdammed cheater, that’s why. 

I sit and watch as innocently as i possibly can. Ren stands iron straight at the front of the room, but his expression is soft, eyes twinkling in the chandelier lights. He addresses everyone and gestures to the brides on either side of him. 

“I met Kadie in college. We were good friends. She was always keeping me in line.”

A knowing chuckle hums across the room. An inside joke. Ren holds his arm toward, “Abigail let me crash on her couch for most of my young adult life.”

“Me and Leo,” she quips.

“Touche”. Ren lowers his voice for dramatic effect. “She had to kick me out quite often once she met Kadie.”

A ruckus of laughter at that. Abigail blushes but Kadie takes her hand, amused. Ren knows what he’s doing. Playing the crowd. Like a good DM. He begins the next phase of his speech but I can hear the hints of congestion stirring his words into a thicker drawl.

A few people have their bingo cards ready. I’d be lying if I wasn’t thinking about it. Ren pauses mid-word, breath ragged, fumbling in his pocket. 

“Apologies,” he croaks, “It s-hhh…seems you shall--snf! Have a bingo point af--” he folds one of the tissues over his nose, “Hk’TZZHHH!” 

“Ikka,” the woman at our table rasps, “Quit staring and mark it down!” 

My brain pushes their convo aside. I watch Ren’s nose, his chin. Bobbing up and down with each hitch, inhale, sigh. Eyes lock onto him as if his hypnotic buildup has charmed the snakes of the show. 

“Hnng…” the silence in the room is as solid as a truck. I can’t speak for anyone beyond my line of sight but my entire table is watching him intently. Seriously, why are they watching so hard? Do vanillas just--

“Wait,” Iris points from me to the bathroom tissues. “Did you--”

I slam back my glass of champagne, ignoring the question.

“XsST-hieu!! EGSX-EIU!” Ren siffles thickly and dabs his nose but that’s only making it worse. 

Seven. 

I lift up, ready to fly to his defense, but Ren crumples the tissue with a sorrowful sniffle and tucks the pack into his breast pocket to finish the speech.

“My apologies. Or, perhaps not?” Ren draws another laugh from the crowd. 

Iris smacks the bingo sheet, “Focus, Icabod! We’re close to winning!”

Okay. I’m getting kind of sus here. Maybe I’m just in fet brain overdrive but I have to know. Ren finishes his speech and ambles toward us, flicking tears from his watery eyes and slumps into the chair with a groaning sigh.

“Ren,” I rasp when I’m safely close enough to him to prevent being heard from the others. “Hey!” I wrap my fingers around his tie and pull his neck down so I can speak with him. And wow this actually is hot. No wonder Skye does it so much. I wobble a little and ohhh gods I'm getting drunk. 

I release him once he’s nice and close and whisper, “Rub your nose.”

He jerks back, “What?!” 

I groan, rolling my head, “Not like that. It’s…it’s for science.” 

Ren follows my gaze to Icabod and he hums, “Ah.” He tips his head down and sniffles. He brushes the underside of his nose, slow and deliberate. His eyes flutter and he lets out an exaggerated gasp.

“Igh!! Hiiegh…”

I stare open mouthed for way too long. Christ he’s good at this. I’m about to just let him attempt a fake before I remember there was a point to this.

I sneak a look at Icabod and… our expressions could have matched 100%. He might even be drooling. Not that I blame him. Rens still going, toying around with teasing hitches and soft gasps. Gods what must that be like in bed? 

WHAT? I have clearly had too much champagne. 

I sneak another look at Icabod to see him staring intently at his fork. And his eyes flick toward Ren. And back to the fork. 

I am floored. The odds are insane. But I do know those two are friends of Skye. Or aquaintances. Maybe I’m not the only person she’s met online…

Two claps bring our attention to the floor and Ren stops his fake buildup in milliseconds with a soft breath and a quick nose swipe. The man should be an actor.

 “Alright everyone, we’re having a freeze dance competition. Now, pick your partners, and dance! When we blow the whistle, you’re gonna freeze! Don’t. Move. Any movement, intentional or not, will disqualify you for the prize.”

“What’s the prize?” I ask.

Ren glides up next to me, knuckling his nose, “I do not think it will matter.”

I open my mouth to ask him why, but that’s a dumb question. His watery eyes and the buzzing of my own nostrils I’m desperately trying to ignore would destroy us both.

“Maybe it’s for the best we sit out. I can’t even dance.”

Ren looks astounded. “You cannot dance?” 

“I…no. Not like…ballroom dancing.”

“Then,” he holds out a hand, “I shall teach you.”

I pause. Dancing is Skye and Ren’s thing. I feel like this would be an intrusion of their sacred custom. But Ren waggles his fingers as if groping for my hand. “Skye will not mind.”

How does he read me like that?

He takes me by the hand and pulls me immediately into a spin. I’ve seen him and Skye do this enough that I don’t stumble. I may not have participated before, but I’m far from a dance virgin. 

We dance the intro of the song for a couple minutes, and I can’t keep the smile off my face. I feel so dashing in my sexy dress, tearing up the floor like this. 

Ren cradles my back, hands strong and gentle as he dips me low. My head tilts back and I’m overwhelmed by the scratchy scent of lavender. A busboy passes by carrying another bouquet. I jacknife upright, palm flattening my lips and nose as two very not stealthy sneezes wrench my spine, “Hiex-SHEW! HAAh-TSHHieu!” 

Ren lifts me and swirls us, dancing uninterrupted. I gulp air and glower, “That was cheating!” 

“It is not cheating. I am within the boundaries of the rules we set.”

“We didn’t set any rules!”

Ren smirks knowingly. I honestly have no room to complain though. I cheated first. 

“Freeze!” the voice rocks adrenaline into my veins and we both instinctively still. Ren’s hands are on the small of my back and propped on my hip; my arms are draped over his shoulders, one palm spread behind his neck. 

It feels so intimate. And…I swallow, my body reacting to him already. 

It’s about to get much more intimate.

His face is flushed so pink I’d think he was drunk. His teeth grind and he snarls a hitch. “Sasha,” his breath is hot and moist, barely audible but bold enough to send wracking shivers down my spine. “I am not…going to last…”

Oh gods. He did not just say that. 

Abigail moves toward us. Fuck fuck! What are we going to do? Ren’s nose scrunching isn’t doing the trick, and if he sneezes on me, I’m going to lose my goddamn mind. 

His fingers tighten on my waist as he sucks in a breath, and I make a decision. My hand sweeps from his neck across his cheek, his skin hot as a brand, and my fingers close over his firm nostrils.

He exhales, relief shuddering through him, and I swear I absorb that shudder and feel it quaking my thighs. 

I’m. Grabbing. Ren’s. Nose. I’m grabbing Ren’s nose! In public! What the fuck am I thinking?? 

I could tell myself that I just want to win--that’s all this is. But I’ve been lying to myself for too long. I don’t give a flying fuck if we win this game. I wanted to touch him. To feel his nostrils twitch under my grip, his breath bathe my wrist--oh gods. My body is a livewire. I’m worried I’m going to vibrate myself off the dance floor. 

“Sasha,” he grunts, “you may release me.”

Electricity zings through my arm and I snatch my hand away as if burned. 

Ren’s eyes glitter and his mouth curves, “That rather turned you on.”

“And I think that rather turns you on.” My bold comment comes out of nowhere.

The corner of his lip ticks up, “Of course.”

I didn’t think I could burn hotter but my blood feels ten times heavier.

Asshole. Is he just picking at me like friendly banter…or does he…want me?

This isn’t the first time we’ve flirted with each other. Over the course of all our friendships, the on-off-on-off of all fucking four of us…it’s godsdamn exhausting. And it’s wearing me down--physically and emotionally.

Ren looks at me with those concerned furrowed brows. I want him to say the same thing. The same thing I’m thinking, feeling. I…I want…

A clap brings us out of the sexual deviancy of the moment and Abigail calls, “That’s a wrap!” 

Abby glides toward us and squees. “You two were precious!” she trills. 

“Did we--” 

“You didn't win,” she frowns. 

“Erm, no, I know. But,” I fidget, coiling and uncoiling my fingers. “Did we embarrass ourselves?”

Abby chuckles. “Not at all. The other competitors were thrilled--” Abby poked Ren’s nose affectionately making his nostrils flare a bright pink. Why did that make me jealous?

Ren steps forward, leading Abby as she chats about ….

“Please just do this one thing for me, please!”

“W-what thing?” 

“The entire guest list has been taking photo booth pics so we can scrapbook it all vintage like. Will yall participate?” Abby begs.

Ren’s lips twist. “Alright. Of course. For you.”

With a squeal from Abby, we are ushered into a long hall, wider than average. It’s filled with nostalgic photos of celebrities like Elvis, The Beatles…is that Shirley Temple?? Did they even have photo booths back then? Oh gods, this whole fucking hallway is a beacon for how bad I am at history. 

In a misshapen nook sits a photo booth. A fancy one--it has a door and everything. Wow. Kadie went all out with this reception. I’m assuming she wanted to wow her guests to make up for having to univite them to the actual ceremony in 2020.

With some nudging, Abigail watches us climb in and shoots me a thumbs up. “I gotta go kiss ass to my mother in law but it’s pretty self explanatory. Take some funny ones! I’m making a scrapbook!” 

Ren is already inside and when I climb in, I find it more spacious than I expected, but not enough for us to sit side-by-side. I may have a smaller waist, but Ren has bulk in his thighs and shoulders that just won’t work. 

“Well,” I say, “I guess I’ll sit on your leg, if that’s ok.”

Ren nods and shifts so I can perch near his knee, pulling my dress down in a habitual need to unbunch my clothes. I slide over his leg and catch myself when his fingers curl around my hips to steady me.

“Is this alright?”

“Yeah, thanks,” I resume shifting. We look at the screen in front of us and I squint, searching for the switch to activate it. “Where…” we start fussing around, both seeking the mechanism but coming up empty. 

I groan, “Why is something so vintage so hard for us to figure out?” I feel the edge of anger on my tongue, “It’s so different from every phone booth I’ve used.”

“As opposed to the many phone booths you’ve been in?”

“I was young once, Ren. In the 90s. So, yes.”

“Hm,” he chuckles. “Were they…” the word drops, thickening with dull congestion that makes my spine straighten like a steel rod. I jerk to the side, putting the shadows of his jawline in my peripheral. 

“Are you…” I swallow a desert in my mouth. 

He rubs a lip under his teeth, “Would it be better for me to say yes, or no?”

“What does that mean?”

“It m-means…” his words begin to stumble, “If denying I am not hhh--” his long fingers climb to his face, sawing languidly under his nose. 

“Worse.”

“Then, my nose itches and I hhh--believe I might--hh-igh…sneeze.”

I flush hot and oh, I was wrong. That phrase was so much worse. Better. Augh I am absolutely incapable of untangling the mess of emotions flooding me like a rainstorm. I feel myself squirm, the photo switch forgotten in lieu of, “Ren…”

I feel his hand on my hip tightening--exactly the same way it did on the dance floor. Oh gods…if there was any doubt, it’s gone: flung out the window. 

He’s going to sneeze. I’m on his lap. Fuuuuuck. 

“Ren,” I feel my throat grate against his name, “I should go, I--”

“I will be fine,” he sniffles and his head does a small shake that makes my spine melt. His voice is honey, “It’ll pass.” 

A contraction. He’s really fucking trying.

“Uhh, I don’t think it will,” I say flatly.

“I can…handle it. Trust me.”

“Trust me,” I wiggle to stand but my knees tangle and I end up slipping back, falling into him. His hands wind around my middle, one thumb skimming the slit decorating my hip. 

“Ah-apologies, I--” 

I should try to get up again. I know I should. But his grip is firm, steady, as if I’m his anchor in a storm. I hear him sniffle right in my ear and gods I shiver from head to toe. It makes my shoulders wring, my stomach thrum, and my thighs…

I hear him gasp and feel his hips rock forward. He lets out a small moan and I realize I’ve squirmed myself to the ridges of his lap. And Oh. Fuck, this fabric must be so thin because I can feel exactly how my arousal is affecting him. 

“Hh-ieh--” He squeezes my body so hard a small gasp flees my throat. 

“Mmmmhh--!” there is no way the sounds I’m making are even remotely adjacent to ‘stop doing that please’. My body is in camp sneeze right now. 

“Hhh-ngh, Sahh…” His breaths come in grinding gasps and I’m not sure anymore if it’s from holding back the sneeze or my ass rubbing against his cock. 

I’m too hot for this. I’m too horny for this. The unbelievable tension and teasing of the night all crashes into me in frantic, thought-erasing need. 

I can’t remember why this is a bad idea. I can’t remember that we’re in a public fucking place, in the middle of a wedding reception and it’s Not A Good Time. My panties are slick and wet, and I do more than wiggle--I writhe. Noises escape me in high pitches half breaths, matching his liquid gasps escaping his tilted mouth.

“Hhh-iehh--HEh!” 

I could stop this. I could get up. I could launch myself out of this photo booth as if I were a champagne cork and Ren wouldn’t stop me. But I don’t want to stop.

My back arches when I feel his head dip far enough for his nose to feather the skin of my neck. Oh fuck ohfuckohfuck-- My senses narrow to that spot, everything dulling around me as his lips pop apart, still buried in my neck, and--

“HGX-SHHZ!” 

Pleasure explodes inside of me. My body bucks and I ride him, rubbing myself back and forth over his trapped cock in a rocking motion. 

“Hieh--”

“Oh fucking gods!” 

“HY-ESHHUUU!” 

My orgasm unleashes, wracking my body, lighting every nerve inside me, pulling closed-lipped moans from my throat. “Mmmnn-gods fuck MMMNnnn!” My hands are clawing and scrunching any fabric they can get at--from the folds of my dress to Ren’s taut pants. He moans against me and I hear him swear, “F--uck…” 

My body collapses against him and I suck in air, my chest pulsing in time with my labia. He’s still hard against me, fingers delicate but firm as he sniffles thick and wet. 

“S-Sasha,” he grunts, “I…”

“Oh my gods.” My heartbeat turns from pounding to racing. 

We just dry humped in a wedding photo booth!

My hands slap my face. “What the fuck am I doing?” Gods, I must be so--

“Sasha,” Ren’s hand squeezes my shoulder. “If you permit me to leave first--”

“No,” I say quickly, tugging my bra strap back in place and smoothing my wrinkled bandana. “Anyone who overheard just heard me m-moaning and…you, uhh…”

“Sneezing?”

“Y-yeah. But that could have been me, and…”

Ren concedes, though he doesn’t look convinced. “As you wish.”

I don’t need him to believe me, I just need to get out of here. Now.

Hoping my makeup made it out unscathed, I crawl out, opening the door--thank gods there’s a door--and sliding out, eyes darting around to see if anyone is nearby.

“Hey there.” 

I freeze, my entire body jolting with panicked adrenaline. I turn to see Kadie staring at me, arms folded over her wide bosom, lips askew. Sparks in her sage eyes.

I flap my hands nervously, “I was just--” 

“I know what you were doing.” Her voice is firm but there’s a hint of a roguish gleam. 

My blood ices. “No, you don’t understand.”

She silences me with an upturned palm. “You do know I dated Skye, right?”

My jaw unhinges. Of course. Of fucking course she knows. She could probably see it all over my face all godsdamn day. 

My hands close over my face, “Oh my fuck,” I muffle. 

Kadie sighs, a heaving breath, “Look, I really don’t give two shits what you did in there. But I’d better not have to clean anything up.” At my alarm, she pressed the air with her hand, “Chill. No one else knows, or heard you. Just me.” She hands me a slim rectangle of paper. “Maybe watch the switch next time. You’re lucky I was here.”

She whirls and leaves me clutching three stacked images--muted and gray but there’s no doubting what’s going on in there. If I focus, I can see my O-face. IeeHHGGG. 

I crumple the pictures as Ren climbs out, brushing wrinkles from his suit. “What happened?” he asks.

I look at him, “Kadie heard us. And…saw…” I crunch the photos again for good measure. 

“I see.” Ren rakes a forked hand through his hair and it flops back over his brow with enviable ease. “Perhaps then, it is an opportune time to--”

“Bail?” I snort, “Sorry, I shouldn’t…”

“Yes. Bail.”

My chin juts up at him in confusion.

We make it out without being noticed. Ren even finds us a bathroom on the other end of the building to freshen up. I make sure to slather myself in deodorant. Everywhere. Yes, even my stomach and thighs. My underwear didn’t make it out unscathed. I pull my track pants out of my bag and go commando.

I have a tube top as well and I trade it for the dress. Now I look like I’m about to go to yoga but at least I don’t look like I just snzfucked a guy in a photo booth. 

In the hall, Ren is still wearing his suit. “You didn’t bring extra clothes?”

He pats his vest in various places as if to say and where would I put them?

I roll my eyes. “Whatever. I’m ready to get--HXST-Ieh! Out of here.” I grind my palm over my nose, furious it hasn’t finished with me yet.

Ren opens his palm and offers it to me. “As you wish. However, I have one more stop to make.”

We hurry toward the exit, not encountering any obstacles before we burst out into the windy air like a prison break. Ren and I lock eyes and let out twin snorts. 

“I’m impressed you kept your erection during that whole fit,” I giggle. 

“Years with Skye has tempered me. At this point I find myself sporting a partial even when I start to…”

 Oh fuck that’s hot.

I drink in the crisp air, hoping it’ll cool me off. I breathe deep and we head toward the car. 

We’re still sniffly on the drive. Allergy aftermath can last hours if you marinate long enough. Ren drives us to a strip center just downtown. He parks at a meter right outside, “A book store?” I drink in the cottagecore awning and the chalkboard sign announcing an author signing.

An author I know.

Anita Maez?!

Ren looks at me, smiling. Not smirking. Not grinning. Just…smiling. 

“Your ticket is anonymous,” he says, “If you do not wish to enter, no one will know you withdrew.”

My eyes are wide and I feel my heart set up camp in my throat. “Ren…” I swallow through the thickness. He remembered my favorite fucking author and made a point to buy me a ticket to meet her?? 

He hands me the ticket and I take it, unable to tear my eyes away from it. I virtually stumble toward the building, only pausing to look at Ren to make sure he’s really okay with this. He nods and waits outside to give me privacy.

In line, I can’t stop thinking about Ren. The lengths he went for me today. For me. My brain is a bonfire. It’s becoming very hard to not look for meaning in tonight. Ren, making up a game for us so I don’t freak out sneezing in public. Making sure I was comfortable the whole time with all of the weird conversations. How utterly safe I felt in that booth with him. I’ve only felt that safe with Skye and Leo. 

And now this. 

Is he doing these things for me because we’re friends? Or is this just Ren being…Ren? I realize I don’t know, really. I know him as a friend. As Skye’s lover. As Leo’s primary. But I can’t tell if he wants us to be closer or if he just does this kind of thing. 

 I send a quick text to Skye, but then it’s my turn for the meet and greet, and I shove all those thoughts aside to meet my hero.

Ren isn’t outside the shop when I exit but I peg his location instantly. He’s down the sidewalk near a corner, sneezing his head off.

I start counting, unable to help myself from lining my footsteps with each sneeze. He stops, finally, and sniffles, patting his nostrils with a purple tissue--oh. Those tissues. 

I rush over and snatch it from him, earning me a bewildered look between sniffles. “What--”

“Those are lavender scented,” I flush at his expression. “They’re…causing more problems than solving.”

Ren chuckles and shakes his head. “Well, that does explain quite a lot.”

I pop my hip and place a hand on it, “So, what are we at?” I tease. “After your whole,” I fan my fingers around his face. 

“Mmm. Seven. But as we are not specifically at the venue, they do not count.”

“Um, they absolutely count, Grayson. We didn’t set any rules, remember?”

He has the gall to look defeated right before he tips his head in a bow. “Very well. The final count is?”

“Me with 13, you with,” I grin smarmily, “16.”

“Hm,” he hums. “Would it be a stretch to say your author signing is your prize?”

“Fuck no. First, you had that planned before the game started. Second, I didn’t ask for it, third…” I stop ticking my fingers when I see the mischievous look on his face. The streetlamps have caught his eyes so they look like they’re dancing. And he’s somehow maneuvered his arm above his head, propping himself into one of those ‘hot boy’ movie leans the lead love interest always does.

I bite back a snort. Is he flirting? Is he doing the sexy man pose on purpose? 

“What, Sasha, would you like your prize to be?”

I want to laugh and cry and tell him he looks silly and obvious. That he’s not as sexy as he thinks he is. Even if it’s a godsdamn lie. He would have won if I hadn’t counted what happened outside here--another result of my cheating our game. And he still let me pick the prize. 

And what do I even want?

You.

The thought comes unbidden. Immediate. I want him. I want him the same way I want Skye and Leo. I want to throw our dynamic into the trash and just…be together. All of us. A true collective polycule.

I can’t tell if he heard me, but it’s obvious he knows what I’m thinking. My throat bobs. Fear grips my heart tight. What if what if what if-

Ren is closing the distance between us and I can feel the pull of his heat. My body is like a magnet, my thighs ablaze trying not to just crush him with my--

Down girl. You already went on that ride.

He’s over me now, his lips bowed and crimped. 

“What,” he rasps, the heat of his tone melting my resolve, “would you like, Sasha?”

Fuck it. Fuck all of it. I grab his tie and pull his face down toward me. His upper body jerks forward and he careens down--gods, no wonder Skye does this so much--and I kiss him. His lips are soft and strong and completely devastating me.

It doesn’t matter that I’ve technically kissed him before. This is our first kiss. An earth-shattering, lava-forming, creating new continents kiss. 

 He lets me lead him, his tongue flicking my lower lip, asking permission, and I invite him in. 

Vaguely aware of his hand on my waist, fingers wrapping and scrunching my shirt.

He lets out a small moan into my throat and all rational thought vanishes.

Fuck. I love him. I love them all. Skye, Leo, Ren. And it hardens my bones, softens my heart, steels my mind. 

This is how it was meant to be.

160 miles away

Backstage, the music is muffled. Skye and Leo are standing awkwardly, Skye shifting from left to right, eyes wide and focused on the yellowing floor beneath them. 

Leo’s lips drop and his heart pounds. “Are you…okay?”

Skye gives a half hearted nod as she pulls out her phone and reads the screen, illuminating the pink of her cheeks.

Leo looks up, toward the flashing lights ahead where the roar of the crowd coats the night. “I hope Ren and Sasha are having more fun than we are.”

Another nod, Skye’s chin jerking down. Leo hears a small hiccup disguised as a sigh. She pockets her phone and looks at him, something lighting her eyes in a way that makes him uneasy. 

“You ready for this?” she asks.

Someone screams ahead and both of their heads whip toward it. Skye’s hand closes around Leo’s, squeezing. 

“I think that’s our cue.”

To be continued…

#this took me a whole fucking year to perfect #and no it's not perfect #but i had hella fun writing it and OH BOY DID I GET INDULGENT #I've never been this FUCKING UNHINGED #I almost launched myself into SPACE writing this one #and the companion fic with Skye and Leo is in the works now soooo #I left yall with a lil tidbit to look forward to~ #please please tell me if you liked it omg i need to know that year paid off #ahahaha ok! ENJOY!! #LSSR #snz #snzfucking #snzfucker #snz kink #fet!characters #snzfic #oc ren #oc sasha #allergies #OH BY THE WAY I THREW IN A COUPLE NEW OCS I'M PLAYING WITH #WHO MIGHT MAKE A DEBUT ON THEIR OWN TIME #REHREHREHHH #zen fic #zen ocs

[ryuichirou]

Since we’re talking about butts, how about boobs? I specifically mean, what’re the genderbent twst boys’ cup size? And what kind of bra do they wear?

Anon, this is such a good question, and I think about this topic more often than I probably should lol I do have some sketches about this topic (both the size and the kind of bra the gendbent twst boys would wear), but honestly all of my genderbent sketches end up being related to this theme one way or another. Maybe I have a problem.

That being said, keep in mind that whatever is going on in my head doesn’t always translate into my sketches perfectly: I am very inconsistent for some reason lol I have the same problem with a lot of other body parts…

And just in case, here is my previous reply about the girlies as I imagine them. I’ve definitely mentioned their boob size in that post, and I’m definitely going to contradict myself in this one lol

Last disclaimer: I don’t know a lot of bra types, and it’s kind of obvious, so I’m sorry if I sound repetitive.

Riddle is a small one, almost completely flat. She probably wears a bralette or something, maybe even a cotton undershirt. She doesn’t think much about her breasts, but gets self-conscious when others (mostly Ace) point out how flat she is. But in general, she believes that she still has time to grow, and that this is an idiotic think to care about! >(

Ace and Deuce both are between A and B cup, closer to the B. Just like with many other things in their lives, they can’t decide who is bigger. Deuce doesn’t care about it as much as Ace does (it’s honestly embarrassing for her to talk about it), because Ace always wants to either brag or complain, depending on her mood. Both of them wear sports bra, but for different reasons (I drew a sketch about this once and had such a hard time deciphering what I was trying to say there…). Basically, Ace owns some very cute and “girly” bras, even the push-ups ones, but the sports one is more comfortable. Deuce tried to wear something more “girly” but gave up, because it was way too uncomfortable; when she was a delinquent, she didn’t wear any bra at all.

Cater is a solid B and wears a lacey push-up one. But honestly she has a big collection of all kinds of bras, and sometimes thinks that it’s a shame that she can’t really show them off to anyone.

Trey is big, I guess she’s a D. She prefers to wear whatever is comfortable, so there isn’t really much to say about her: a regular bra, no lace, no nothing. Oh, she prefers a wireless one though.

Leona is somewhere around C-cup, and she either wears a black lacy one or no bra at all. No one dares to stare anyway, and if they do, bad for them.

Ruggie doesn’t wear a bra and maybe doesn’t even own a bra; she believes that this is a waste of money. But she isn’t really all that big, somewhere between A or B, so it’s not like it matters to her.

Jack is one of the biggest ones, and she always wears a sports bra. She has a variety of those. Any other type of bra is too uncomfortable and honestly embarrassing for her to wear; she’s kind of a shy tomboy.

The Octa-trio are big… Azul is honestly closer to a C, but she wears a push-up (and a very pretty lacey one at that) and makes sure that her silhouette is always well-pronounced. Jade and Floyd are one of the biggest ones out of the entire cast (maybe around E), but their bra-wearing habits are very different from each other. Jade’s style is closer to Azul’s, but she still prioritizes comfort and support. And Floyd has a lot of pretty lacey ones too, but prefers to either wear a wireless/sports bra or to wear nothing at all. She gets scolded by Azul for the second option, so she doesn’t get to do it very often. But it feels tight and uncomfortable fehhhhhh :( Azul can’t relate to that because she actually loves structure and feeling that everything is tightly in place, doesn’t bounce and looks precisely how she wants it to look.

Kalim is around B, maybe a bit bigger. It’s honestly difficult to think about what kind of bra she would wear… But it’s probably surprisingly stylish, expensive-looking, but not lacey. She might actually like cute prints. But I also think she doesn’t really think much about her underwear – Jamil picks it for her every day lol

Jamil is an A and almost exclusively wears sports bra. But she also owns some regular ones, even one kind of sexy one, but she never wears it and honestly doesn’t even know why she got it: she tried it on one time and felt stupid... Also, a majority of her bras are either black or a combination of black and red.

Vil is somewhere between A and B, on the smaller side. And sometimes it feels like Vil knows everything there is to know about bras and knows how to pick a perfect one according to anyone’s needs… She can rant about it forever… She probably also has the biggest collection (and her bra always matches her panties – it HAS to be a set), and OF COURSE she considers TPO when she picks it. Sometimes it’s a sporty one, sometimes it’s something more comfortable, sometimes it’s a sexy one (less often than one would expect though). It’s also never plain – of course she doesn’t expect people to see it, but just because it’s hidden doesn’t mean it can’t be pretty.

Rook is closer to a C, maybe even bigger, but you’d never guess it. Once again, amazing hiding skills, and also a very well-chosen set of underwear (Vil picked it for her). It’s pretty much always a sports one, but she has at least one sexier set for very special occasions. Rook can also take one look at any girl from the NRC and easily see who follows Vil’s advice regarding their bra choice and who doesn’t. She is a guru of sensing the well-being and comfort of other girls’ breasts based on their posture and attitude lol

 Epel is rather small, but she’ll probably end up being a B in a year or two. Vil got her her first bra – she didn’t even own one at first because she believed that she doesn’t need one. A lot of times she wants to complain about Vil forcing her to wear something tight and itchy and painful, but alas – it fits very comfortably and kind of gives Epel very nice support 😔 But… does it have to be this cute…?

Idia is one of the flattest girls of the cast, she doesn’t own a bra and she’s never worn one. She kind of forgets that wearing a bra is even an irl thing sometimes, and not something that artists for the gacha games invented. But she surely remembers it when she leaves her room and sees real people, especially Azul… The truth is, Idia would get too embarrassed if asked to wear a bra, and would list 1000 reasons why it’s a stupid idea and the person is stupid for even suggesting it. Maybe we should just leave her alone… (Azul won’t)

Ortho doesn’t have anything to show off! :( Neechan won’t give her boobs! But since Vil and Floyd are both influences in her life, she is usually that one person that usually brings up wearing a bra with Idia (well other than Auzl of course). She just wants to pick a perfect one for Idia, it sounds like a fun challenge!

If Ortho was a human, she would probably be a bit bigger than Idia, since she’s not that… malnourished lol And she would prefer to wear sporty ones, which would make Idia nod in agreement – functional yet cute, as expected of her Ortho.

Lilia is actually the flattest person of the cast. Her body isn’t very dissimilar to the original Lilia, and she also doesn’t usually wear a bra – she didn’t need to when she was younger, and she doesn’t feel like she needs to now. But out of every non-wearer of bras we’ve discussed so far, she is the one who could do it for funsies. And her choice of the underwear would probably be a bit…cursed lol but she knows what she’s doing.

Silver is a bit bigger than B, and she also someone who didn’t own a bra for a long time, even though her bust bouncing caused her some discomfort during her training. It was actually the reason Lilia realised that ah, right, I guess the kid needs it… And with how active Silver is, one would expect her to also be a sports bra girl, but she actually usually wears a not very flashy, but a cute one that Lilia got for her. It’s blue and pretty…

Sebek is already a bit bigger than C and growing! And her mom, unlike Lilia, is more knowledgeable about these things, so Sebek actually wears a good bra that is comfortable to move around in, so I guess it’s also a wireless one. But also very plain, she can’t even think about wearing something that is not a very strict and neutral looking underwear, it would be shameful! Or something along the lines.

Malleus is also one of the biggest ones, I don’t remember if we decided that she is bigger than the Tweels or not lol but she is indeed quite busty. And also a queen of beautiful black gothic lacey underwear that looks like the most gorgeous and expensive thing in the world. It’s probably custom-made just for her, so it has thorns-related design and stuff.

#replies #genderswap #headcanons

[wisteria-lodge]

snake primary + neutral snake secondary

Hello. I decided to write this according to the list you gave. I have a huge struggle with my primary. I guess it is burned, but I don’t know what it is, or I don’t want to see it because that hurts my ego if it sounds completely fake or in some way empty, or I just don’t vibe with it. Which I understand is an issue in itself. 

An interesting issue. You don’t want a primary assigned to you because you’re worried it’ll sound fake? I’ll keep an eye on that. 

For my secondary I guess it is just straight up a lion, mostly being off or burned, burned badger or bird. I definitely use pre-made personas in social or stressful situations, but I prepare so little that I could be anyone. 

This sounds like Burnt Bird secondary “I do the Bird secondary thing, but not very well.” Or possibly a Bird secondary model that you wish you didn’t have to use. 

Before I have to tell you even if I don’t have clinical depression or a diagnosis, I don’t feel happy, and it probably shows. I am someone who cries every time they see Everything Everywhere All At Once, which at this point probably tells a lot about a person. 

… it tells me that you’re very probably neurodivergent. Very possibly ADHD, but I don’t like to diagnose in these things. (Not actually possible anyway.) 

Also, heads up for my English, it is nowhere near perfect or fluent, so there might be some annoying mistakes, even though I know you don’t point it out to people. I ran it through a grammar check, but I have little doubt I missed something.

1.

Sometimes I wish I’d care more about other people, about strangers, but I don’t care much naturally, and it becomes even more pronounced when I am stressed or having to spend a lot of my energy outside myself. Then, that gaze towards outside shuts down, and I stop focusing and giving attention to other people.

You’re not naturally a Badger, taking meaning and energy from the community. Snake is absolutely possible, especially with the way Snakes will focus very intensely on their own bodies when they haven’t got a lot of extra energy to spare. Like, sure you’d like to do more, and doing more makes you feel like a good person, but that’s extra.

A co-worker could be talking about their accident and what happened to their family, and I would stare blindly and think to myself they are trying to get sympathy and I would not budge at this point. While more normally I would give them it, even if I didn’t feel sorry for them. 

You might also just be low empathy, which is… just kind of a neutral thing. I’m low empathy. A lot of people actually find it comforting that they can be upset around me without getting doubly stressed that they’re making my day worse. 

After all, some emotional work needs to be put into maintaining relationships and keeping it alive.

True. And the way you just kind of put that out there as a kind of ‘Rule to Live By’ is actually making me think Bird primary is possible... or a Bird primary model over a burnt primary?

2. 

As a kid I was timid, afraid to explore town, thinking someone will come and say I can’t walk there. I was never peaceful, but I followed my mother’s advice to ignore bullies and don’t give them attention. Jokes on me – I never learned how to fight and argue. I remember myself hot headed, attention seeking, trying to talk with others, even making up lies or cutting bangs by myself just so people notice me. But I was always careful not to make trouble for my mother, be safe, get no injuries, clothes fine and without a rip. 

I’m leaning more Snake primary for you. Your mother is clearly a very important figure in your life, and what she thinks and values is important, because she thinks it. You ignore bullies, don’t wander, and don’t get in trouble because your Mom told you not to… but there’s still this undercurrent of but I would have liked to. In fact, the way you behave for your mom seems to be very at odds with the “attention seeking” “hot-headed” “notice-me” behavior from the rest of your life. I’m considering Snake secondary (because of the different faces for differnt people) or Lion/Burnt Lion secondary (because you would have liked learning how to fight and argue.) 

I was obsessed with Three Musketeers, friendship and finding connection. I would focus on a small group of people or even one person and hold onto it. It started getting really hard time when I had no friends whatever. That pushed me into survival mode and made me quiet and thoughtful.

This focus on small groups of friends is making me really lean Snake primary. (Also, if you’re a Snake Lion, then The Three Musketeers would be *the* perfect media for you.) 

3. 

I think I solve low-stakes problems with something that looks like a snake or rapid fire bird.  I think if I can and have someone close I can call for help, I will. Once in the dorms my European windows fall off the hinges, I couldn’t close it or put it back. I could have definitely done it myself with more time and more focusing and seeing how things work. But I had a friend living there next to me, so I asked them to come. Not that they knew more about windows than I did, but as out both room windows were similar in age maybe they would have a similar issue and know what to do. I don’t think they did, but it was fun and I wish I could do it more - meeting life with your friends and not alone, that’s why I called them. Administration would have been the last resort, they were pretty meh. I think we just ended looking around and putting it back in somehow, just trying to close it in different ways. I was always careful with it after that.

That’s lovely. And… weirdly I think I’m going to put this in for primary, for that whole “meeting life not alone” thing. That’s bigger than just problem solving, that’s getting into why you do things at all. 

The actual problem solving seems to be “lets compare the broken window to a similar, not-broken window and see what’s wrong.” There’s a *little* I Know A Guy bird in this ‘who specifically do I know who would be able to solve this problem.’ But I could honestly see coming from any secondary. 

4. 

In high-stake situations, the most important thing to me is reaching a mental space where I am stable, looking around without panic. That’s why sometimes, instead of pulling an all-nighter before an exam I turned on a movie. I just couldn’t deal with the stress and said bye lol. I didn’t do it all the time, I also studied a lot, alone and with friends, although I cannot say where studying or the movie was more useful. I personally would say in high-stakes situations it’s most critical to try to calm down and manage my stress and anxiety. 

This is making me say Improvisational secondary (Lion or Snake.) Extra preparation isn’t going to comfort you, it’s going to mess you up. You’re not a Bird or Badger, who’ll get stressed out if they don’t read their notes over one more time. You want the mental space and agility to correctly read and correctly respond to the situation, and so you’re giving yourself the best chance for that.

I had experience with bad roommates so in dorms I wanted to live alone, not bother or bothering someone. While this opinion wasn’t allowed legally in our college, students would bribe administrator. I hate bribing, giving chocolate for literally noticing me in someone’s place (it’s a bribe older generation does here while asking employees for something they think is a favor, but it’s kind of their job; why don’t we just stop being assholes to each other instead? I am not sure other parts of the world does this so hence the explanation). 

It’s interesting. You’re describing bribing, like - yeah you’re breaking the rules… but everyone does it, and everyone knows everyone does it, and to some degree you’re even expected to do it. But even though it’s kind of normal, it still bothers you. And this would bother a Lion secondary (who love to be straightforward and honest) more than it would bother a Snake (who might not even think of giving an administrator a “”gift”” as a bribe.) 

As I mentioned earlier, administrator was meh and everyone and their mother knew it, so you can imagine I thought this is big, and I have to survive this and come on top.

This is very Snake primary energy, it has that practicality I absolutely love. 

Money, I thought, should be the most useful, but there’s also too much and too little. In short, I sit down, wrote an application, had an envelope in my bag, talked a bit about how I would like to live alone and tried to slip it out of my bag on the table as it was nothing special. The most interesting thing was that he seemed amused all this time, and even then, I had my hair down and had lipstick on, so I don’t know, maybe my baby face looked interesting, or maybe that’s just stress distorting my memories. I was kind of prepared, but not really if you know what I mean, I obviously needed more information, but I was either naïve and thought this will work or this will be enough. In some way I was also mostly thinking I hate this, this either will work with how much I prepared or not, let’s go in and see. Maybe not good enough for sorting according to high-stakes situations but thank gods in some way that the only ones I had are like this one or exams.

Now that I have built your anticipation,

You absolutely have, I am extremely invested in this story. 

let’s check together how that ended up for me, shall we? I did get a room for myself, and I really loved the room I got the first year there. Its window opened up to a street, I saw a lot of trees, sky, a neighboring apartment complex that did not belong to college. The bribery? It went well, they were either monitored or they actually meant what they said that they can’t guarantee me anything, and that the college had plans to reduce the available space due to shortage of students. So in the end, I left with my money, a little bruised dignity and a new experience, that I knew I would never want to repeat. We just do what we need to do, and what we are okay about doing, no?

I hate bribery, but I wanted to live alone more, so it weighted over.

Something like that (and this whole story, really) makes me think your primary is fighting with your secondary. You think bribing is wrong, and your Lion secondary hates not just being direct and ASKING for what you want... but you want that private room, so of course you go for it. You had a bad experience in dorms before, you’re going to protect yourself. That’s the decision that you feel best about. 

And when it came down to this conversation, you got dressed up, you considered your appearance and how you came across, you thought about what the right level of bribery would be. But in the end, you think that the fact that you looked “interesting” got you through. And “this either will work with how much I prepared or not, let’s go in and see” is SO Lion. It’ll work, or it won’t, it’s out of my hands. 

5.

Recently I made a hard decision of whether to go back home or stay. Decisions are hard for me, especially when neither one nor the other option look better. I tried to take all that I have gathered about the situation and see which side is/feels stronger, which one has more value. 

I’m starting to see what’s got you confused about your primary. One thing about being in a Snake is that decisions get a lot harder when they don’t affect your personal safety and well-being, or the safety and well-being of your People. You’re making a decision with ALL the tools here - gathering information to know which side is stronger (Bird), asking yourself what side feels stronger (Lion), and also considering which side has more value (depending on exactly what you mean by “value,” this could be Badger or Snake. All those approaching are going to give you slightly different answers. 

I left unfriendly environment which saw no value in me or my culture for a more friendly place, where my roots are, where I can make my own decisions, but I had to leave my family. I didn’t feel good there, had no one I wanted to hold onto. But even though I am not a badger, but I am still in a missing people mood. 

I bet you are. You’re a Snake, and you don’t have any People right now. (You’re not Burned. You’ve just recently moved to a new place, and don’t have any People yet.)

This was absolutely the Snake decision, also. You didn’t feel valued, so you went where you knew you could set things up the way you like them. You left your family to do it, and sure leaving your family hurts, but I think you would have felt like you’d betrayed yourself if you stayed.

Connection is so human, and we fuck it up so bad from so early on. Does it matter if you still feel alone around people who surround you? It doesn’t, so maybe it’s better to let your family members rest, be somewhere lonely without them and try to do it yourself. Is it already depressing? I am sorry I hope this doesn’t feel like trauma dumping.

Nah, you’re fine. You’re absolutely going to find people you connect to. 

6.

My fantasies change with time depending on what inspires and moves me then. I fantasize about a Scandinavian style house, surrounded by snow and a night sky, full of books and huge windows when I just want to run away. Other times I fantasize about being a powerful wizard on the run or in disguise, just trying to live with friends, accepted and running from some kind of huge responsibilities or a war. Not that I never fantasized about something more ambitious, but that probably changed with how my life experiences shaped the worldview I have now. Do I have to mention fantasies of falling in love with someone nice while doing something that I like and brings me joy or is that just basic haha?

The “living with friends/falling in love with someone nice”... that’s very human, but since this significant other person features heavily in a short description of your fantasy, going to put that as a point for Snake primary. 

7.

The characters I identify most with probably has nothing to do with me or who I am, more with how I see them. I identify with Lorelai from Gilmore Girls. In my opinion, she has a similar energy to me, to what I think I am inside or could be with a little more stability and confidence. She talks nonsense, and it is fine most of the time, people still like her. She loves her community, her little town, she creates life there and doesn’t wish to leave, and she doesn’t feel a need to run or rush somewhere. I feel I am most healthy and stable when that rush leaves me, and I am stable enough in here and now to actually live there. 

I was honestly pretty happy with Lion Secondary as a sorting for you. But now I wonder. This doesn’t seem like something a Lion secondary would say. It seems like a Neutral Snake would say. And Lorelai is a VERY loud Neutral Snake (and a very loud Snake primary.

Now, Lion secondaries can be mellow, and just want to Vibe, but I absolutely do see shape-shifting capabilities from you, and I wouldn’t expect to see them from a Lion (unless you also had models or performances.) When you were a kid you were careful and thinking a lot about the ‘correct’ thing around your mom, but wild around your friends. In the bribing situation you came in with a persona, but then switched around - you’re funny, you’re interesting, you’re naive. Also in the wizard fantasy - you’re running away from the war, you don’t want to deal with it. Lion secondaries tend to fantasize about being revolutionaries or leading armies. 

Snake Secondaries who like staying in Neutral have a blunt take-it-or-leave it quality which I do see from you, but you also seem just... kind of tired. Not Burnt, but just kind of done with dealing with a family who makes you feel lonely, an administration who isn’t helpful, an environment that doesn’t value your culture... no wonder you just want the ability to just say whatever, and not have to think about it. 

I also think that the lack of a Person (which is a primary issue) is making this whole ask much more ‘authenticity’ flavored than it would be otherwise. You want, you really really desperately want a person to trust enough, and value enough, to be that level of authentic with. 

I identify with Joy from Everything Everywhere, because she feels like a friend who doesn’t need you to tell them how you feel in these feeble words, she looks at you, and she knows, the whole movie knows. 

You’re fantasizing about someone who just *gets* you, immediately. (You’re fantasizing about a Person.)

Likewise, I identify with Hunter from The Owl House. He says he misses knowing who he supposed to be. He comes from a really unhealthy background, but I just feel happy thinking how not only he himself warms up to people, but others warm up to him, see good in him, accept him and start to care, not how good people care, but how a friend cares. Hahaha, I identify with Pippin from LOTR movies, because he makes mistakes, and everyone around him is like WTF can you not, why don’t you just stand in one place or be tied to a leash? He’s not stupid, he’s not careless, he’s not bad or ignorant per se, mistakes just happen, it’s natural and instead of being made to feel wrong, let’s just not do that and make it normal, because it will happen, and we will learn from our mistakes without pressure or shouting. It’s a miracle Pippin wants to do things after all.

You’re fantasizing about getting a group of People. Don’t think it’s at all a coincidence that both the Owl House and the Lord of the Rings focus on a small, rag-tag group of people who don’t quite fit, for one reason or another. I also think you’ve probably been dealing with someone who does not react to *normal* mistakes in a healthy way. So of course Pippin and Hunter would be comforting. 

8.

Things that make me feel powerful? Money, having choices, being able to say no, I will not do anything of what you suggest and instead do this completely different thing. Because I can, because I want it, because I can see I will succeed, I will make it. I can choose to do things my way. You need money or other resources to be able to do that. Calling a plumber and being able to pay them would make me more powerful than waiting for someone I know do me a favor based on our relationship. While not being able to select what I want, or having crappy choices wherever I look makes me feel locked up and incredible passive. To quote the quiz, helplessness doesn’t make me angry, it freezes m, but I don’t get angry.

Damn. Yeah, I don’t know what I can say to any of that. What is power? Money, and the ability to say no. And really, when you get down to it - money is important when it allows to say no. The more you can say no, the more powerful you are. 

9.

Recently graduating was the most difficult thing I had to do. I had little to no help, big expectations from the board and little freedom on what decision I could make. Myself already being anxious about what I will do in the future and this major giving me panic attacks in the making did not help focus and do it right. I wonder would it have been better if I majored in something I loved but was kind of useless, than something I hated but what is seen as practical and marketable.

There really isn’t a right answer there. Not everyone needs to love their job, but some do. Some people are fine without a steady paycheck, or without a large paycheck - but some aren’t. Any decision that involves the future like that is going to be a gamble. And I guess I’m at the point now, with how fast the world and the economy is changing, that trying to guess what will be practical and marketable ten years down the line - isn’t nearly as sure a thing as it used to be. 

From what I’ve gathered, thesis can feel useless. I knew a guy who paid someone to write it for him, and honestly with my own experience I wouldn’t care about ethics of it now and would have rather done that if I could have a chance. In the end, how exactly writing your last paper, thesis shows your skills? Sure, you can follow academic paper writing rules, you can use computer, you can read and gather information from research papers, and you can ignore your anxiety and interview people, interpret their answers and have enough skill in a language you are using to not only make sense but follow all the rules. I guess you can use the skills somewhere; I am just talking myself out of this idea. Wait, if someone who never majored in your area and does not have the skills you worked for, can write you a paper and write it good, it’s not an excellent way to evaluate someone.

Yeah, Snake secondary for sure. And what can I say, you make a compelling case. The structural problems in academia, the classism, the behind-the-times - it’s very much still there, and there are lots of people who can talk about it much better than I can. 

My friends were busy with their own stuff, my family were far away and with a big generational gap, professors didn’t help and then evaluated me strangely. It was really hard to see a person I knew for a few years, liked, wanted to impress be against me. Sorry I am tired, but I really needed to write something, and this seemed like a good thing to occupy myself with. Off course, I don’t know how you feel about academic unfaithfulness, but from my perspective, my experience was shitty enough that I wouldn’t give a flying sausage if there would be a next time, especially if I did everything else the right way. I really don’t know how much it was me, because it was me in some ways, but I still think my supervisor didn’t help me, but was ready to judge me. She probably felt she wasn’t paid enough to deal with my problems then. Right. You know what I want to do now? I want to never look back, never get back there, and never even touch this major. I want to leave it in the past and start anew. I want to be able to choose and not be tied to it.

Spoken like a snake secondary. And no wonder why you seem so tired. Also, being treated badly by your advisor is going to hurt anybody... but ESPECIALLY a snake primary. 

Thank you for your time. Have a great day. Or night.

I will. :) Thanks for writing in.

#submission #sortme #wisteria sorts #shc #sortinghatchats #snake primary #snake secondary #lion vs snake secondary #double snake #neutral snake

[amuhav]

Get to Know Me - Sims Style

tagged by @dandylion240 (if anyone else did too I’m sorry, I’m not seeming to get notifs for tags rn???)

tagging @keibea​ because we need more TS3 rep in tag games like this tbh.

What’s your favorite Sims death?

Old age. Because it means my sim actually made it that far and I just love seeing their life play out. Some of the more quirky, simsy ones are great though. Death by Jellybean or Cowplant come to mind lol.

Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?

I... really don’t like the TS4 MM aesthetic 😅 I really don’t like the clay hair look for my own sims, though think some people do wonderful things with it, and I do like certain Maxis Mix styles, good skin details with clay hair, certain stylised MM styles etc. but the default TS4 clay look is literally why I never moved over to TS4 in the first place, and it took too long for the Alpha scene to really take off in the beginning, so by the time there was enough CC for me to feel I would ever want to jump in, it felt too overwhelming to even try moving to essentially a new medium.

For TS3... I also am not a huge fan of the straight “MM” look either, though I think the distinction is less prominent as it is in TS4. You can easily make most “MM” stuff fit in an “alpha” game simply because they aren’t usually full-on clay the way TS4 MM is, they’re just not quite as detailed as full “alpha” CC. Whereas the other way around isn’t quite as true, intricately detailed alpha stuff might look out of place if most of your other content is vanilla or MM. So I think as well as preferring the aesthetic, I like the flexibility a more “alpha” leaning style can bring.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Storywise, characters are obviously whatever size I make them lol. 

Uh. I don’t know about weight, because I don’t think any of my sims have put on a lot of weight during gameplay. I have definitely cheated muscle levels though. Traumatic flashbacks to Loch suddenly getting BULKED whilst I was letting him run free during Riv’s BC. Absolutely not you little twink.

Do you move objects?

For gameplay, I used to try to minimise doing so just cos it breaks so much routing and stuff. Now I don’t play so I go nuts with MOO. Who needs working doors or stairs or beds anyway?

Favourite Mod?

So many mods for TS3 are kinda essential to even be able to run the game lol, like almost the entire NRAAS suite. I think I’ll have to go with the Remove Stencil mod though, cos being able to undo EA’s weird obsession with shiny clothes by removing the specular is honestly so lifechanging LOL. no more shiny wool jumpers or oil slick jeans 🥰

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

My first TS3 expansion was Ambitions, because I skipped World Adventures, in fact, I think it was one of the last expansions I bought lol. 

Believe it or not, I do actually own one EP, one GP, and one SP for TS4 lmao, back when I thought maybe, just MAYBE. the game might get better, and I was still trying so damn fuckin hard to force myself to enjoy the actual gameplay. So I have Get to Work, but don’t even ask me what the other two are because I haven’t a fuckin’ clueeeee. 

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

...It just occurred to me maybe it is meant to be “LIV” mode because it’s... like. Living mode. Like, Alive Mode doesn’t make sense. But my brain won’t accept it. doesn’t sound right. Always been “LIVE” mod to me lol.

Who’s your favourite sim that you’ve made?

Oh, jeez. Uhhh, I can’t *really* claim most of my current legacy sims because I didn’t make them, they were born in-game, even if I have tweaked the hell out of them in recent years. So if we’re going for physical appearance, I wanna say actually maybe Sylvie for my TS3 sims? She took so long to get just right, especially because TS3 doesn’t really do curvier sims quite as well as TS4, especially not without a fuck ton of sliders, and I had a really specific look to her face in mind that took forever to get right, had to blend her a custom skin etc. But I am finally super happy with her cute lil sassy round face 🥰 Close runners up are probably Qu or Edge.

God, I’m gonna get so fucking shot for this but here goes. Physically, my fave TS4 sims I’ve made are actually both of Tay’s brothers, Ethryon and Ailos, and also probably father, Qariel. I think because I had a little more experience with using TS4 CAS by the time I got to them, more sliders, more skin details, just generally a fuck ton more CAS CC by then, and more time to tweak them etc. As much as Tay will always be my favourite sim OVERALL... yeah. plznoonekillmebye

Have you made a simself?

Ye. I used to update her like. all the timeee too, whenever I got a new haircut etc. And, ofc, Havoc was my alter ego so she’s like. simself adjacent lol.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

God I hate EA’s hair colours in TS3. their blondes are so yellow, the highlights don’t blend well etc. always make my own. TS4 hair colours make me want to actually die, but then again, I hate the clay hair and cartoony colours of vanilla TS4 anyway, so.

Favourite EA hair?

Favourite life stage?

Young Adult, with Teens a close second. You can do the most with the YA age, but the chaos of teenage years are real fun too lol.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I literally can’t play lmao. I have too much CC in TS3 for it to run well enough to play, and TS4... is it even possible to play TS4? joking joking... mostly. I’m in it for the story.

Are you a CC creator?

No. Never. I do not have a CC page I abandoned whatsoever no idea what you’re talking about goodbye. 💀

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

RBSB represent. 

No I hate everyone equally.

@lazysunjade and @thesimperiuscurse have no choice but to be talked at by me every day. I’m inescapable. 

Do you have any sims merch?

I actually had the TS3 Collectors edition that came with the Plumbob USB and I was devastated when it got broken. Like legitimately heart broken lol. 

Miss her so much I just want her back

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Ew.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I used to try so hard to stick to whatever gameplay threw at me, following the actual legacy rules, not editing sims etc, all to the detriment of my actual enjoyment of storytelling. Now I care maybe a little too much about how posts look that I get into a rut of not posting oops bye 💀

What’s your origin id?

Probably the same as my username here lol, but I avoid origin at all costs so couldn’t tell you for sure tbh.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Oh, way too many to choose. For sims 3 CAS stuff, the still active converters like @rollo-rolls, @vmsims23, @simtanico etc. for build and clutter stuff @kerriganhouse, and @martassimsbookcc for conversions. Honestly, I’m kinda out of the loop atm, but there’s just way too many good creators.

How long have you had simblr?

uh. since 2015, I think? let’s not dwell on it 💀

How do you edit your pictures?

Dunno how to answer this? Photoshop, I guess lol? 

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

It used to be pets, cos I loved having animals in the game. Now I always forget they exist oop lol. Probably Supernatural. 

#tag game #saviourhide #tagged #dandylion240 #this is so long I almost don't want to post it now ugh #delete later

[metalprompts]

*      ―      IT WASN’T A PHASE, MOM !  ( PART TWO. )

a collection of lyrics taken from my mostly myspace era nostalgia playlist. this one goes out to all the former emo kids.  some triggering content may appear.  as always, feel free to change and adjust anything as needed.

“ things happen but we don’t really know why. “

“ all these things i hate revolve around me. “

“ why can’t you just be straight up with honesty? “

“ i’m coming home. i’ve been gone for far too long. “

“ have i fucked things up again? “

“ my bed’s so cold and lonely. “

“ you’ve got me shaking from the way you’re talking. “

“ if i had common sense, i’d cut myself or curl up and die. “

“ if this is love, i don’t wanna be loved. “

“ if i could be the devil, you can be the sinner. “

“ you could be the drugs and i could be the dealer. “

“ everything you say is like music to my ears. “

“ i’ve got you under a spell and i don’t think i’ll be letting you out. “

“ if this is heaven, then baby i don’t wanna know hell. “

“ i could’a went to college like rich kids do. “

“ in rock n’ roll, i got a phd. “

“ we got all that we need, packed it up in the van. “

“ i ain’t got shit, but i got this far. “

“ it’s probably better we’re not together. “

“ we were so young and invincible. “

“ young love was such dumb love. “

“ our first kiss stole the breath from my lips, why did the last one tear us apart? “

“ we were just kids in love. “

“ you won’t try to save me. you just want to hurt me and leave me desperate. “

“ you taught my heart a sense i never knew i had. “

“ i bet you believe that i’m better off with you than someone else. “

“ i’m not your boyfriend, baby. “

“ i’m not your knight in shining armor. “

“ l-o-v-e’s just another word i never learned to pronounce. “

“ how do i say i’m sorry? ‘cause the word is never gonna come out. “

“ i’m so bored, your words aren’t making sense. “

“ one more drink and i’m convinced. “

“ it’s been hell not having you here. “

“ i’ve been missing you so bad and you don’t seem to care. “

“ i bet you’ve never had a friday night like this. “

“ i don’t want this anymore. the thought of you is no fucking fun. “

“ i’m tired of begging for the things that i want. “

“ if i leave, i’m alone. but what’s the difference when you beg for love? “

“ we fell in love and now we’re both alone. “

“ i know it’s hard, but who are you to fall apart on me? “

“ i still think you’re beautiful. “

“ i don’t ever wanna lose my best friend. “

“ i really hope you enjoy the show. “

“ hotels are cheap and there’s one down the street. “

“ i’m sorry, i can’t see that you truly love me. “

“ i don’t care if you’re sick, i don’t care if you’re contagious. i would kiss you even if you were dead. “

“ did you call me last night just ‘cause you couldn’t get laid? “

“ you’ve got me right where you want me. “

“ i know i’m a bastard, but i’m not a coward. “

“ why can’t you see what you’re doing to me? “

“ don’t worry, i’ve let you go long before you left me. “

“ nothing compares to a quiet evening alone. “

“ let’s be more than this. “

“ you wear your heart on your sleeve, i threw mine to the sky. “

“ when you use your lips, they better be on me. “

“ liars turn me on. “

“ it’s only a crime if i get caught. “

“ i can’t keep sleeping in your bed if you keep messing with my head. “

“ i can’t keep touching you like this if it’s just temporary bliss. “

“ don’t even talk about the consequences, ‘cause right now you’re the only thing that’s making any sense to me. “

“ i don’t give a damn what they say or what they think, ‘cause you’re the only one who’s on my mind. “

“ will you be mine tonight? “

“ i thought you knew that i was crazy. “

“ who the fuck do you think you are? “

“ i can never be a perfect fucking image of what you want. “

“ we’re dancing with the devil. he’ll drink you under the table. “

“ do you still want me? “

“ i won’t be angry if you have to leave. but i won’t be waiting. “

“ don’t say you’re sorry because i won’t believe you. “

“ i’ve tried so hard to be what you needed. “

“ i’ve tried for so long to make you believe that i’m not the enemy. “

“ i never wanted a partner and i never loved you. “

“ i never wanted a partner and i never loved you, so now you’re free to leave. “

“ i swear to you now, i won’t call. “

“ congratulations. go home now. “

“ stop talking to me. i haven’t been listening. “

“ music is dead thanks to you cunts. “

“ my only home is the bottom of a bottle and a rolled up bill. “

“ i am rock and roll at it’s fucking finest. “

“ self destruction is such a pretty little thing. “

“ don’t bother sleeping without one eye open wide. “

#rp meme #rp prompt #roleplay meme #roleplay prompt #sentence starters

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Twenty (Part 3)

It’s close to nine by the time the party actually starts. Loads of very fashionable, intimidating people come into the garden, all of them having some conversation they want to have with Jude, so he’s quickly occupied. I sit at the patio table with a group of girls whose names I forget the moment they introduce themselves to me and try to make all the right sounds as they discuss their college offers, acting like my attention isn’t being pulled towards him every time he moves. 

“It’s got like, the most authentic college experience.” Says one of the girls who won’t stop going on about Trinity. “Like, even having that sort of Ivy League atmosphere you know? And you’re right in the heart of the city. Think of all the choices for lunch.”

“I heard everyone who goes there is up themselves.” Another says acridly, which causes an uneasiness to settle over the conversation. I have an acute sense for these kinds of microaggressions after having Kelly as a friend for over half my life, and whatever this is, the echo of a discord between these girls that I’ll never know the intricacies of, it drags up all sorts of wretched feelings from somewhere inside me, and I want to go and stand beside Jude instead. And where’s Jen?

“Where are you going to college?” One of them shoots a question at me before I can move, and it pins me to my seat. 

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m only after finishing fifth year.”

“Oh, tiny baby.” She comments in a not unkind way, but it makes me squirm. “So like, have you an idea of where you’ll go?”

“Not really, like I probably want to do art, but I don’t know which is the best college or anything. I haven’t really looked into it too much.”

“Oh, just go to NCAD. It’s the only acceptable choice.”

“Okay.”

“What’s it with all these people doing fine arts these days?” The dour one asks of nobody in particular. She’s smoking a cigarette and dropping the ashes right onto the table. “In this economy I actually think it’s bananas. Like, what are the jobs?”

“I dunno. Selling paintings in a gallery.” Someone suggests. “Or doing that street art thing that they do in Montmartre.” The way she says Montmartre in a really pretentious french accent irks me. It reminds me of how people insist on pronouncing croissant the authentic way, even when it’s just been made at some industrial bakery in Clondalkin. 

“You can do loads.” I insist. “Like pottery, printmaking, graphic design, teaching… and actually you can do sculpture, which Jude is going to do.”

The Montmartre girl throws her eyes to the sky. “Yes, we know all about his odd choices.” She peers over her shoulder at him, down on the grass talking animatedly to some guy in chinos. “And I still can’t believe he was so determined to do it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh. Like the way his parents kicked off about it. Imagine, a dental surgeon and an actuary having a son who wants to mould clay as a job.”

“I’d go mental if I worked hard to provide for my family and then had an artist for a child.” Says cigarette girl, who must have forgotten what I said about going to art college. Otherwise she’s being purposefully mean. “Like to the point that I’d stop them from playing with crayons in case they liked it too much.” A couple of the girls laugh darkly. Clearly she’s one of those people that gets a kick out of saying really crazed things just to get a reaction. 

“Oh look who’s here.” One of them says, and they spin around to watch a skinny girl in a sequined top come out through the patio doors and do this bouncy little hop down the stone steps towards Jude. I don’t even have to ask who she is, because I already know. I’ve done a thorough investigation of her. I’ve scoured her social media, I’ve seen every picture of her that exists in the online sphere and I’ve read every status she’s ever written, in fact I’ve already compared myself to her in a thousand painful ways and tortured myself trying to figure out the things that made him want her but not me.

I watch him hug her tightly and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Hi Michelle, so good to see you.” I lip read, and the look that he gives her makes my stomach twist. The chair makes a hideous scraping sound under me as I get up and go inside to the kitchen. 

“Evie, oh my God! I didn’t know you were here!” Jen is there, pouring herself a vodka and coke at the counter. I go over to her and we hug, and I ask her how long she’s been here. “Like half an hour.” She tells me. “I didn’t see you.”

“I was at the table with those girls.” 

“Oh lovely.” She says blandly and loops her arm into mine. “Have you had a drink?”

“Just a glass of wine.”

“Here.” She gives me her cup and then pours herself another. “We’re hardly going to get through the fabled Last Night without a few drinks.”

I nod in agreement. “How are you doing?”

“Ugh, it’s just weird. We’ve always been joined at the hip, and now he’s going. But on the other hand, it’s what he wants, so it makes me happy too. And Berlin is literally two hours away. I’ll just fly over there whenever I miss him too much.” 

It’s actually a comforting thought, that he won’t be all that far away, at least physically. “Still though.” I can’t help but add. “Things change when people go away, there’ll be new friends and-”

“Please, I’m not thinking about this tonight. I already stumbled upon the harrowing mountain of suitcases outside his bedroom after I used the upstairs toilet. I need us to pretend it’s going to be normal for now. It’s all my heart can take.”

We take our drinks outside and sit down together on a rattan sofa near the group of girls I’d just been with. The mean one has all her features screwed up again and is presumably saying something unpleasant. She reminds me of Kelly. 

“Are those girls from your school?” I ask Jen, and she nods. “Yeah. They’re alright, they’re just like, into the drama a bit. There’s always something going on with them.”

“And they’re Jude’s friends.”

“Yes. Kind of. I don’t really know, if I’m honest. They’re just always around.”

“Do you think they fancy him?”

She snorts. “Dunno. Probably.”

I try my best to sound really casual as I ask a question that a huge part of me doesn’t even want the answer to. “And what, did he like, have a thing with any of them?”

“Oh yeah, a few of them.”

I pause and look, really look at each of their faces. They’re all pretty. They’re all cool, and I feel threatened by every one of them. I’m filled with inadequacy once again, a feeling that just keeps coming back around like a malicious carousel to knock me down and remind me that I’m not effortless, individual, confident, artistic or beautiful enough, and unless I can turn back the clock and change every aspect of my life, all the things that have shaped me into the person I am, I will never be. 

 I let my gaze drift down the garden where Jude is still talking to Michelle. The sun is low in the sky, and it turns his skin the colour of toffee, his dark hair backlit in auburn. I watch him with her, his expressive eyes looking at her in ways I’d thought were just for me. His wide, incandescent grin illuminates on his face every time he laughs at something that she says and it makes my heart ache. Everything about him is perfect. His long fingered painterly hands are like something ornamented in gothic stained glass. He has this elfin, feline look to his face and eyes that so many times have made me feel pinned to the spot. I realise that I am entirely, earth-shatteringly in love with him. 

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#sims 4 #sims #ts4 #simlit #sims 4 story #writing #sims story #romance #fiction #sims 4 storytelling #sims4 storytelling #sims storytelling #lucky girl part 1

[restinsodaroni]

I'll try posting the FAQ this way lol, hopefully this works better! So read below to see the asks I will and won't accept or answers to common questions I get! I'll be linking this in my pinned post!

Alright! Please read this before sending in an ask!

REMEMBER AN ACTUAL PERSON (Me) RUNS THIS ACCOUNT NOT SUN OR MOON! KEEP THAT IN MIND BEFORE SENDING ANYTHING!! THANK YOU!!

🚫Evidently I am going to have to be stricter now since I have been creeped out numerous times on here. So yeah I will be blocking folks who keep disregarding my boundaries or just being impolite! Sorry! 🚫

Hey so please don't:

• Send me any questions that ask about what would Sun and Moon do if you were harming yourself no matter the severity or the circumstances. It makes me uncomfortable and I shouldn't have to explain why.

• Spam the same ask especially everyday! That is not gonna get me to answer you. Spamming = Block I am not going to be lenient about this anymore!

• Send me an ask to change Y/N's body type.

Here's a post where I talk about said boundaries.

Can I draw you fanart or send you a fic centered around your AU?

How do you pronounce your Username?

It's rest in sodaroni ! It's a play on the phrase rest in pepperoni. I made a joke about it a while ago with my sibling and decided to make it my username lol. Yes I know separating the words would have been ideal, but I'm not changing it now!

Sure you can! As long as it’s sfw then its fine!

Are you ok with nsfw being sent to you?

I am not! I’d like to keep this blog sfw please! 

How come you haven’t answered my ask?

Well that’s because I get sent A LOT of asks. And a majority of them need comic responses which takes time to do. Not to mention my schedule is pretty hectic, even when I have free time I don't know if I'll have time to myself lol.

And I have other projects, art, and my Daycare Attendant fics I want to work on too sometimes. So just know if you send in an ask it may take me a while to answer it!

Also I may not have a good idea how to answer your ask at the time. Or I'm just overwhelmed at the moment lol 😅 And please don't spam the same ask in my inbox. Spamming = Block

Where can I read your fanfics?

You can read them right here!

‼️ Disclaimer! Please read the tags and summary for either fics! I don't want you to be blindsided when you find out the fic isn't 100% fluff or wholesome! Just gonna give you a heads up lol ‼️

When will the next chapter of your fic(s) be out?

I promise you I'm working on it! It just takes me longer because of the drawings since I am putting more effort into them now!

Can I use one of your drawings as an icon, wallpaper, etc?

Yeah that’s fine!

Why did you draw Sun, Moon, or Eclipse like *Insert questions here*?

Why does anyone draw the way they do? Because I wanted to lol, and I like how it looks. That's basically it haha.

Can you draw me/myoc/my sun and moon/a meme?

Sure! But please send a picture of what you want me to draw! I got a handful of asks that requested this but sent me no reference photos so I don’t know what to draw lol.

Also don't send me drawing prompts of your characters/You getting too intimate with Sun and Moon or even Y/n. (Yes, I have to add Y/n on here now...)

If you want a hug cool, anything more than that I will probably not draw since some people can't behave lol.

If you send a question about wanting to be mean or even hurt Sun or Moon just don't get upset by the response you are given lol. It's just a comic, it's not real and Sun and Moon are not really mad.

Where do you get your gifs/screenshots of the Daycare Attendant?

I watch a lot of Fnaf security breach sfm videos on YouTube so sometimes I come across a funny video clip and screenshot or make a gif of it.

Who is your favorite? Sun or Moon?

I’ll be honest, I can’t pick between the two lol. I like them both!

I don't like your art style/ I don't like how you draw Sun, Moon, or Eclipse/ One of your drawings came out weird lol / You don't draw as good as the other artists.

It's fine if you don't like my art style, but please just keep it to yourself, your blog, your friends, your grandmother, or whatever. Like idk why people on here felt the need to tell this to me, but yeah don't do that. And no, telling me you don't like my art style but like my comics isn't the compliment you think it is. I wouldn't have cared so much until I got a few people telling me this pretty much every time I posted. I ignored it as long as I could lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

This pertains to a few asks so I'll address it here:

I know when someone is fetish farming, I'm not naive lol. Like it seems really suspicious when I have the same person/anon desperately trying to get me to draw a specific ask 👀 soooo cut that shit out lol. It's very creepy and goes against my consent. Also chill with the dark humor.

*Ok so I’m going to be talking about a heavy topic here so read no further if you experience thoughts of self-harm or depressive thoughts!*

I don’t believe I would get an ask like this again but this is just in case! ( Edit: nevermind I did get more asks pertaining to self-harm smh ) I don’t mind drawing you something if you had a bad day, but I will not draw something for someone who requesting me to comfort them with a drawing of Sun or Moon because they self-harmed. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but I just can’t. I go over my reasoning in this post. Please don't send me any self-harm related questions!

*End of the serious topic!*

And that should be it! I may update this down the line! Thank you for taking the time to read this!

#restinsodaroni talking

[blowingoffsteam2]

Can I ask what you make of the ReMind menu art? It may be a small thing, but I also interpreted Sora as uncomfortable in the paopu scene, so it made me kind of sad that the menu has this pretty art of him and Kairi with the paopu fruit again.

Well my personal opinion of it is that I don’t like it at all lol. Precisely for the reason that I know 99.9% of people looking at it will believe it was made with romantic intent, even though I myself don’t believe it was. I find it extremely annoying in that way....however. It is also I think dripping with Nomura’s very specific brand of spite and so it’s also as interesting as it is annoying. First of all, it makes perfect sense to have K on there since Remind was all about getting her back, so whatever, that’s to be expected. But what’s strange is the way they are positioned. If it was supposed to be romantic I would expect S to have been revealed to be walking towards her, ready to share his paopu with her. Or at the very least, for them to be walking together side-by-side as equals looking off to the horizon together- or looking at each other. But instead what do we get?

They each have their own paopu, they are not sharing them (perhaps this says something about them each having their own, separate destinies). K is lagging behind slightly, looking at S (she has always been trying to catch up to him hasn’t she) while Sora walks on seemingly oblivious to her. This is especially pronounced by the fact that the title screen starts with just him, then she fades in like a ghost or invisible guardian he doesn’t see (I believe Niku also talked about this in the srt, how it may also be a hint that her heart was in S’s throughout kh3, as it was in kh1- she was there the whole time and he didn’t realize it, which I still firmly believe especially after Remind). If you think I’m reaching with that, consider the fact that when they released the soundtrack cds, there was a special sleeve that Nomura said he helped design himself (which is rather unusual for him to get involved in the design of merchandise packaging). I need to find the promotion for it to check exactly how it worked but iirc, when the cd was in the sleeve, the S artwork was all that could be seen (or maybe K could be seen on the back? Can’t remember), then when the cd was removed K could be seen through the clear plastic next to S. Quite literally they were on separate planes. (I think there was also a folder they sold with a similar concept where if the folder was empty you could see k through the front but if you had papers in the folder she disappears and you can only see S lol yikes)

Anyway, no matter what the nail in the coffin on this matter will always be the fact that Irino said he didn’t think that the paopu scene was a confirmation of romance. As S’s voice actor he would have been told if it was supposed to be romantic (tbh I suspect he had already been told it definitively WASNT but he couldn’t speak about that publicly yet), and he also wouldn’t have said that if he had been told any other scene was supposed to be romantic. People can do all the mental gymnastics they want but if S’s own voice actor doesn’t believe there’s a romance there by the end of kh3 I’m not going to either. He would be one of the first to know if there was.

Edit: oh yeah I forgot to mention that when remind was released Nomura said the art was a hint towards the next title, which turned out to be Melody of Memory so... take that how you will. We all know how that one ended lol To me the separate destinies thing is the message.

#asks #remind #you just know some people are gonna get pissy about this #🤡 #oh well #not my fault Irino told y’all it’s not romantic and certainly not a marriage proposal like you want to believe

[turtlecyanide]

TW: gender dysphoria, body issues, swearing

Dysphoria rant:

I really wish I could have a fucking break for myself, a full day without my dysphoria coming in and ruining things for me. It’s been weeks now and just in the background all the time, especially worse when I’m bored and don’t have anything to keep my mind busy. I avoid mirrors now, as much as I can. Makeup doesn’t seem to help much cuz even when I start to feel sort of okay, as soon as I see a reflection or picture or anything it just goes to shit. Things about my face structure (your forehead is too big, your cheekbones and jaw are too pronounced, you’re barely even covering your facial hair) that I can’t change come back and ruin everything, feeling unstoppable. Not to mention any of the actual body issues when I see more than just my face. I fucking hate this and I thought it would go away or lessen with hrt. Especially after over a year and a half by now. I thought moving to a better city would help but I’m just sabotaging myself the whole way and everything. Gods fucking damnit I wish I could just be cute or beautiful or even just valid to myself.

I don’t want to be some “statement” or “powerful person for getting up in the morning” or any of that bullshit for just existing, I want to be cute and lovely and beautiful sometimes, or a badass wearing pants and masculine clothing others, without deflating my gender and how others perceive it. I don’t want to have to wear makeup every day just to survive. I don’t want to have to try extra hard to change my voice and practice how to make it “feminine”, or overthink every conversation I have to figure out if my voice or vowel shape or inflection or any other countless things are consistent, I just fucking wish I was born different.

Hell, how do I even cope with my childhood and talk about it with people without outing myself? Every time it feels like “well I mean I guess they thought I was a boy back then, well I mean I did too, but also I guess technically…” and some other bull that makes it complicated to even share that I had a life.

I’m just tired of it all and wish my brain and body were different. At this point I really just feel the “I’ll never be a real girl, I never should have tried” vibes

#trans #transgender #transfem #gender dysphoria #tw swearing

[liverobinreaction]

Banshee In A Well Snippet

“You promised,” is the first thing Cass says to him, voice hoarse and accusatory. “You promised you’d be okay.”

“I am,” he tries to rasp out, and the way she tightens her grip feels like a warning, so he quickly corrects himself: “I thought I was.”

“You lied,” she says mournfully, “you lied, and I let you go.”

From where she’s tangled with him, he can’t see her face, but the minute shift of her shoulder tells him that she’s spiralling, and he quickly goes to pull away. She tries to tighten her hold, but he needs to look her in the face.

“Cass, I promise I thought I was okay,” he repeats, and she lets out a sigh so deep he can feel it in his bones.

“Lying,” she breathes out into his ear, “to me, to yourself, to everyone.”

And that-

Tim doesn’t know how to respond to that.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he finally admits, because that’s the crux of it; he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what’s the right thing to tell them, how he needs to react, how he convinces everyone that this is normal and always has been.

Cass just leans back in, tucking her head beneath his chin, and she holds him with a gentleness that makes his eyes sting.

“Words are hard,” she agrees, and he lets out a strangled chuckle.

Both of them stay quiet for a moment, neither quite sure how to continue.

Or, well, he does. Because Cass is Cass is Cass, and she is his sister before anything else.

“I think dying has been the one constant in my life,” he confesses into her hair, half hoping she won’t hear him. But she does. Of course she does, and she goes still at his words, chest hitching as she waits for him to continue.

And unlike the bitter torrent he threw at Bruce and Dick, unlike the caustic sarcasm he spewed to amuse Pru, unlike the clinical observations he noted down for himself and Ra’s, what begins to pour out of his chest hurts in a way he’s swallowed down since that first lungful of water.

“It’s normal,” he finds himself saying, “that’s the thing, it’s normal to me. And no-one’s ever asked before. No-one’s ever noticed unless I died in front of them, and even then it’s a toss-up, though to be fair, I actively try to prevent people from connecting the dots.

“I think a part of me actively wants to die, Cass,” spills out of his mouth, and he regrets it as she flinches against him, but he can’t stop. “And not in a permanent, suicidal depressed way, but like there’s some biological imperative that makes me seek out death over and over. Because what other explanation is there? I was five when I died the first time, and then I killed myself to test it. Multiple times. And even when I tried to avoid it, it still lingered in my mind.

“Why did I do that stuff? Why did I record it? Why do I still pull that shit, over and over, choosing death like it’s the easiest thing in the world?”

Cass is silent in his arms. But she doesn’t let go.

Instead, the room is disrupted by a clearing throat, and Tim’s eyes dart up, even as Cass stays still. Alfred stands there, wrinkles pronounced and voice hoarse as he speaks.

“If I may, Timothy?”

Cassandra doesn’t move to kick the older man out, not like she did with Bruce and Dick, and Alfred-

Well, Alfred is Alfred.

And so, Tim nods.

#banshee in a well #banshee snippet #banshee spoilers #bug writes #my writing #bug talks #accidentally posted this to my main lol

[avpdpossum]

I’m so glad you have anon on! I’m not comfy sharing myself for now, however I am curious and like to hear your answer!

I’m diagnosed with traits of AvPD… can I say I have the disorder? Or do I need to specify I have traits of that disorder?

Like I said in my diagnosis it says: traits of avoidant personality disorder

Thank you for your answer!

this might be ~controversial~ to some other people with pds but personally, i think the way you refer to your own situation is entirely up to you!

some people would say that, if your diagnosis just says traits and not the full disorder, you should say you just have traits and not the full disorder, but i personally think diagnostic labels work the best when you use them in a way that makes sense to you rather than just taking the DSM’s standards as gospel

so i think that you definitively can, but whether or not you should is ultimately up to you. here are some things you can consider when you’re thinking about it:

do you feel that you have the core features of avpd? and i don’t mean the dsm criteria — the dsm’s job is to identify the most easily observable features, not necessarily the most fundamental. look at how avoidants talk about avpd, the things we describe as being at the core of our experiences, and see how much they match your own life. some things i would personally consider to be core features would be things like emotional/cognitive avoidance as well as social avoidance, intense hypersensitivity to criticism and rejection, very prominent fear of exposure (“once they know who i really am they’ll hate me” type fears), getting less comfortable instead of more comfortable as you get closer to people, etc.

how does your experience of your avpd traits measure up to your experiences of other mental illnesses, particularly any other pds (if you’re diagnosed with any others)? personally, one of the main ways i came to the conclusion that i have npd (the full disorder) was realizing that the traits of it that i was experiencing were in many ways just as intense and impactful in my daily life as my avpd traits, so it didn’t make sense for me to say i only had traits of npd while saying i have full avpd. if you have any comorbid disorders, you can compare them in a similar way. i personally think the impact the traits have on your life is ultimately a lot more important that the number of symptoms you can check off, so this is one of the more important metrics in my own process.

how does your experience of your avpd traits compare to the community? when you read things that avoidants have written about having avpd, does it feel reflective of your experiences, or does it feel like they’re experiencing something beyond what you are? is your life impacted in similar ways and/or to a similar degree, or is it less pronounced in your life than it seems to be in ours? of course, people are imperfect and we may describe our experiences in imperfect ways, but it’s good to have a sense of where you fall in the larger community — if your experiences are really similar to ours and your life is being affected to a similar degree, i see no reason why you should have to separate your experience of avoidance from ours.

can you still do it even if you don’t meet those “criteria”? of course! i’m just some random asshole on the internet with opinions about things based on my own journey of figuring out my brain’s bullshit, i can’t stop you from using whatever label you want and i have no interest in trying to because i trust that you’ll do what’s best for you just like i do! these are just meant to be things you can consider, not rules to follow. above all else, i think you should do what’s going to help you the most, so whatever label feels most accurate and useful to you is what you should use, regardless of what i or anyone else has to say about it.

diagnostic labels are messy by nature; the way someone is labeled is super subjective, whether it’s a doctor or themselves doing the labeling. i personally think that the main function of any label should be to help you communicate your experiences effectively, figure out what will help you the most, and find a community you can relate to and seek out support from. so whatever serves that function for you the best, use it!

#poss.answers #discussion #diagnosis #avpd #actually avpd #actually avoidant #avoidant pd #avoidant personality disorder #cluster c