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tan1shere · 2 months

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Changes pt 2

Ellie Williams x female reader !

A/n: it's here at last ... I hope you all enjoy it I honestly don't have much to say but, pt 3 ? Also this whole idea was inspired by a show slightly, if you can guess what it is down below I'll give you a kiss 😁!!

Summary: Ellies the bad girl in the school but she takes a liking to the reader, everyone's worried but the reader somehow changes her for the better ... or does she ?

Warnings: drinking, smoking, the mention of drugs like once. Swearing ? Mentions of anxiety and a beginning panic attack ! Think that's all :)

Masterlist || pt 1 ! Pt 3 !

A few weeks had past, and your bond with Ellie grew even stronger. You spent most of your time with her, although that wasn't very liked by the people around you. "She's gunna hurt you Y/n." Your roommate, Angela warns for what felt like the hundredth time. You know you should probably listen, but maybe Ellie just hasn't been around the right sort of people. Maybe she's changed. You were convinced that's what it was. As you started to get to know Ellie you learnt she was actually quite smart. She knew so much, but she constantly turned up late to classes. Never paid attention. You were confused as to why, she was so talented and bright, why would anyone throw something like that away.

You were currently walking down the halls on your way to your favorite place, yes ofcourse the library. It was like your home away from home. As you walk in you spot Ellie sitting there, doing her usual dribbles and doodles. "Whatcha doin there?" You beam at her as you sit down in a chair close to hers. She looks up at you and gives you a smile. "Just sketching, nothing exciting." She continues to look at you as you get a few things out. "How's the book?" She asks, setting a pencil she held on the table infront of you both. "Its the best, I've been reading it non-stop." You smile more at the question. She just smiles at your smile. "Told you, it's such a good read." A silence filled the air, not an awkward one, or a comfortable one. Just a silence, one that was as if there was something still to be said. You could feel it, so you look up at her. She was just looking at you, admiringly. But for some reason she stops, clearing her throat a little bit and getting back to her drawing. Odd? Maybe a little.

Ellie knew she wasn't the relationship type. She knew she wasn't classed as 'good' she knew she flunked on many things. She knew this. So why does it feel like she's feeling something for you. That never happens, she uses people- as bad as that sounds she won't sugar coat it, she knows she's done wrong. Is she going to do it to you too? She had no idea and the thought honestly frightened her, she's never felt this way for anyone in her life. She needed to put those thoughts aside she couldn't fall. But oh how beautiful she thought you were. Your hair looked so well taken care of, perfect features. Not too much makeup just light amounts, your pretty skin and how soft it genuinely looked. Minding your own business as you read, focusing on what it is you're reading. She couldn't, this isn't good. Especially when she has no faith in herself to not hurt you. But she couldn't give it up, she wanted to be in your presence you were so sweet and inviting it made her feel warm.

She had to not give into all these feelings at all. "Ellie?" You tilt your head slightly to get a better look at her face. You two were currently in her room working on something that was assigned to the both of you. She wasn't paying attention which you found out was normal for her to tube out and go into her little land. "Yeah sorry, just thinking." You slowly nod, continuing to speak about the project. She let's out a sigh. "I'm sorry am I boring you?" You let out a light hearted giggle as you say that, she begins to get defensive. Worried she had hurt you in some way. "No no no, ofcourse not! The complete opposite. Sorry I'm just a bit tired." She admits. You still laugh a tiny bit. "I'm just being silly Els." She swallows. That name that you acquired recently, makes her insane.

But definitely in a good way, she loves it. Was she a fool for you or something. You go to speak again, but shut your mouth. It had been dawning on you, the question you wanted to ask so badly. So you just come out and ask. "Why are you always ditching classes, why aren't you applying yourself?" She looks directly at you as you say this. She just shrugs. "You're incredibly smart Ellie. I don't know why you're-" You continue, although she shuts it down. "I really don't want to talk about this." She blurts, making you shut up for a sec. "Yeah no ofcourse." Awkward silence, but she breaks it with yet another sigh. "I'm sorry that was harsh." You just shake your head. "No no, I shouldn't of been nosey, it's not my business." You give her a tiny smile. Yet again. More silence.

"Right well, we shou-" "you want a smoke?" You were stunned by the question. You watch as she gets up. It was a little upsetting to see her not care about this project. "Elli-" She turns around. "Oh yeah no ofcourse, I shouldn't of asked." "El-" But she wasn't done. "That was a silly question, you don't seem like the type to do th-" "ELLIE." The room went quiet, she just looks at you. "Will you just shut up for a second." You laugh slightly. "Why are you avoiding this project?" She shrugs. She really likes doing that, huh. "I dunno, it's stupid." You furrow your brows slightly. "But this would be so easy for you Els." Theres that name again. She begins to smoke whatever the fuck she is smoking, seemingly to ignore you. You roll your eyes a tiny bit, closing the books that you had in your grasp, while going to get up, and walk over to her. She watches you, continuing to smoke. However she wasn't expecting your next move.

You get on your tiptoes and snatch it out her hand. "Hey!" She stands up properly. You keep ahold of it. "I'll give it back once you do some of this work!" You laugh a bit. She looks at you. With a 'be so serious' look. "Like I can't just snatch it right back." She walks towards you slowly, making you back up. "Well I won't let ya." She lets out her own laugh. "Did you forget your hight?" You glare at her. "I am not, that short." She raises a brow, getting closer to you going to try grab it, but you swiftly move your arm so she can't. "I may be tiny but I'm smart." She goes to try again. "Yeah well so am I." Again, she tries and fails. "Well if you're so smart use it for the project." She completely ignores that deciding to bend down and put you over her shoulder. You let out a small screech, going to grip the cig a bit tighter so it doesn't fall.

She drops you on her bed being careful still, making you bounce slightly on the mattress. She goes for the cig now that you are more grounded, but yet again you move it so she couldn't. You let out a giggle at how difficult she's finding this. "Not funny, you." She tries. Again. You laugh more at her poor attempts. "Right that's it." She pins your arms down as you try get out of her grasp, but before she could do all that you put it in your mouth having it rest there. "Gunna have to unpin my arms if you want it." You mumble still having it against your lips. "You're trouble huh." You let out another laugh. She goes to unpin one of your arms and when she does you quickly grab te cigarette from your mouth and hold it above you.

You could see the slight frustration in her eyes, you try hard not to let another laugh slip. "Gimmie it." "Do the work." She stares at you for a moment. "Oh you wanna play games?" She wastes no time into tickling you. One thing she didn't know but definitely was going to find out is that you were incredibly ticklish. Your eyes widen. "No no noooo." She doesn't listen, continuing the assault to your sides, you squirm trying to escape it. "Ellie!" You let out constant giggles. She smirks seeing you weren't paying attention and snatching the cigarette right back into her grasp, sticking it back into her mouth. But she didn't stop tickling you. "Say you're sorry Missy!" You laugh more. "Hell no!" Shes close to you. "Then the tickling shall continue." You keep laughing and honestly. Ellie enjoys this.

She really enjoyed your laugh, she loved to hear it. The fact she could make you laugh so easily made her heart happy. She's never seen anyone else make you laugh like she has, and sometimes she doesn't even try. But she manages to always pull a laugh or giggle from your lips. "Ellie pleaseee." She shakes her head. "Stand down!" You laugh. "Fine fine I surrender, I'm sorry!" You're still laughing even when she's stopped. But like most times silence overcame this scene. It was never an awkward one though. You look at each other. "Can we do some of the project now." You ask her. She stays quiet for a bit. Pondering. "Come on Ellie, it's not much and it's not like you'd struggle or anything-" you cut your sentence short. You hadn't realized how close you two were, she's most definitely noticing this too. You swallow keeping the eye contact going.

But she takes the cigarette out, turns her head and blows some smoke, beginning to get off of you. "Can I ask you something?" You sit up a bit once shes off, nodding. "Yeah ofcourse." You were intrigued. "What do people tell you about me?" You look at her, wondering how to go about this. "They just tell me to be careful and such." Now you shrug, sitting up more into a criss cross position. "Can I ask a question now?" She looks at you and nods. "Why do they tell me that. What's so bad that you've done." That silence was upon the room again. Another famous Ellie sigh. "I'm not a completely great person, maybe I'm working on it I dunno. But I don't date. I can't it's just not in me." You listen to all she has to say. "Why?" Usually people who asked such questions would get shut down by her. But she genuinely wanted to tell you, she loved the way you'd listen, to anyone. The way you'd take in every detail of information. "I'm not too sure."

She sits on the bed with you. "I just don't know if I can bring myself to being committed to anyone. You know?" You nod, taking in what she has to say. "I dunno, maybe I haven't found the right person." You keep looking at her. "Hmm, maybe." Silence. "You think you ever could?" She sighs a tiny bit. "I could do, no way of truly telling until the time actually comes." "Noted." For the first time ever with you two, there was a slight awkwardness in the air. You wanted to say something to fix it but you just stay silent. "What about you?" You became confused by the question. "What about, me?" You inquire. "Yeah, you been with people? You a relationship kinda girl?" You laugh a tiny bit at the question. "I've been in a few, nothing serious but I definitely am a relationship girl." She nods, going to take one last drag of her cig, going to put it out in an ashtray on her windowsill.

It was a few days later, you were currently on your way to your dorm, Angie was out for the night so you had a hot date with your blankets and your book. As you were strolling down the halls you caught sight of a friend in your class, you smile at him. "Hey, kenny!" You say with joy. He returns the smile, coming over to you. "Hey Y/n, what you got planned for tonight?" "I'm going to relax, read and eat." You smile more. "How about you? Anything exciting?" He shrugs. "Probably going to chill also, or go to a party." You nod, knowing he was probably confused on why you were staying inside on a Friday night, you didn't really know each other very well so you aren't surprised if he is. "You keep to yourself alot huh?" You nod proud. "Sure do, keeps me sane." He laughs a tiny bit. "Well I mean not completely to yourself." You furrow your brows. "What do you mean?" He pauses for a sec, looking at you. "I see you with Williams alot." "Oh yeah, she's cool to hang out with." He doesn't say anything immediately.

"What are you two? Like fuck buddies or something?" More confusion. "Excuse me?" You laugh slightly. "Well I never see her with many people unless she's fucking them soo." You stare at him. "Do people think that? Like about me and her" He shrugs. "I know I do, maybe others. But what are you two?" Why was he so intrigued by it. You knew she didn't have a great rep but seriously? "Well shes a good friend." He thinks for a moment. "She don't have many of those." You were baffled by this man and what he had to say. "I guess you just truly don't know her then." You don't know why you felt so irritated by this, but you go to leave. "Don't start anything with her, you're too pure for her antics." You stop in your tracks, going to turn back around. "And don't judge a book by its cover." You simply state. "Bit hard when that cover hasn't had the best past." You sigh. "People change." "Not Williams. Trust me we all thought that once, there's no changing her-" you go to cut him off.

"What are you talking about." He looks at you as if he was the one confused now. "You don't know?" You shake your head. "This has happened before, she almost dated this girl who thought would change her, she shitted big time on her. She doesn't even go here anymore and it was all because of Williams." You didn't want to believe that, it sounded horrible. "I'm sure she didn't leave just because of that." There was a tiny pause. "Nope, definitely was. She broke that poor girls heart. Couldn't even bring herself to come back, so she moved. I'm just trying to save you from-" you shut that down immediately. "I can handle myself, thank you though. But I don't need you telling me this." He shrugs. "Alright, just letting you know before you get too far gone with her." And that was that you both turned to leave. Did everyone just hate this girl? How could almost the whole school be so against her. You try to ignore all of this, wanting to go read, that is until you get a text.

-Hey, you busy tonight?

Speak of the devil. It was Ellie. You couldn't help but smile at your phone.

-I was going to have a night of reading, but you're more than welcome to join me, my roommate isn't going to be there so it'd be nice and quiet.

-how could i possibly decline that generous offer ;) see you soon?

-bring a book! 🤓

-holding one right now 📖

You smile more, making your way to your door and grabbing the keys to unlock it. You were brought to your senses when you could smell what seemed to be vanilla, you knew it was Angies perfume, she would always wear it whenever she'd go see her boyfriend. It always made you smile when she'd go on dates, she'd be so genuinely happy to get dressed up, telling you how amazing he was and how happy he made her. It was nice to hear. You set your things down on the couch, heading into your room to grab some blankets and such, making a space on the couch for them. You were soon startled when you hear a knock on the door, to it being opened. "Hello hello hello." Ellie says coming in. "Oh hey, I was just getting the couch nice." She closes the door behind her. "What book did you bring?" You ask, looking over at her. "I- honestly have no clue just picked up something random." She states, coming over to the couch and sitting down. "Good day?" She leans back into the cushions, kicking her feet up on the coffee table.

"Yeah pretty good, bit slow but it got there in the end. And you?" Coming over to sit down next to her, bringing the blankets up your body. "Pretty much the same." You couldn't help but laugh. "What's so hilarious." She smiles ever so slightly. "I dunno, I just assume they're boring because you don't do anything." She raises a brow. "Not true. I have so much fun." "Oh yeah? What do you do that's so fun?" You open your book up, taking the Bookmark out preparing to read once you were done with the conversation. "I go on a secret mission, shhhh I can't talk about it." You laugh and roll your eyes. "You're so incredibly goofy." She smiles more. "You love it." Your smile softened a bit, you truly did. You loved how she would be so silly, especially since you didn't get to see that side of her until you were alone together. You avert your eyes over to the words on the page, beginning to read your book. She does the same opening up the random book to start.

After a little bit, you wanted to just talk. As you're still looking at your book you speak up. "I had a weird interaction today." She looks up, and at you. "Oh?" You do the same, nodding. "Got told to stay away from you, again." She lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry people are bombarding you with that-" But you just shake your head. "Trust me it's fine, it doesn't bother me. What gets to me is how hung up they are on the topic." You truly couldn't wrap your brain around it. "He told me about this girl you had almost gotten into a relationship wi-" "he?" She stops your words. You look at her as she does so. "Yeah?" She furrows her brows more. "Who is this guy?" "His names Kenny, you know him?" She rolls her eyes. "Who doesn't know him, he's always in people's faces." You keep looking at her as she speaks, when a sudden sigh comes out.

"The reason he told you that was because he was super close to her. He got furious at me when the whole thing happened and it eventually turned into a huge fight. Silly, drunken fight." This makes you raise your brows. "Oh my God." "It was all okay, no one got badly hurt but it happened, I moved on. Clearly he hasn't." You think for a moment, wondering if you should ask what you wanted to or stay in your lane and just keep quiet. She noticed your silence. "What're you thinking 'bout pretty girl?" Trying to ignore how happy that name made your heart, you push all the fear away and just ask. "What did you even do to her." Ellie goes quiet tho as if she didn't want to talk about it. "I- uhm just forget that sorry." You bite your lip feeling awful for even bringing it up. She puts a reassuring hand on your knee. "I don't mind. It's ok, I promise just caught me a little off guard is all." Listening to what she says, you nod. "I was never really present in the relationship, sort of a bit closed off. It wasn't even a relationship really, more of a- I dunno. We got on very well but at the same time I don't think she understood me truly. She was a great person, I honestly thought she was going to be my very first girlfriend." You cut her off. "Wait wait so you haven't dated anyone at ALL?" You knew she struggled to be in relationships.

But to have never been in some sort of one before, shocks you. "Never ever?" She lets out a breath. "Okay, sorry continue." You hear a tiny laugh come from her, making you smile a bit. "Anyway, I just couldn't do it. I knew I felt something but not enough to commit to anything serious like I knew she wanted. But I couldn't bring myself to let her go for so long. When one night she asked me, and I froze. I stood there trying to find some words to tell her nicely that I couldn't." Ellie stops for a second, which worried you. "Oh God, what did you do." There was silence. "I told her she wasn't relationship worthy.." Your mouth opens slightly. "Jesus Ellie." "I know, I'm not proud of it I'm really not. Especially her face after, I felt so bad deep inside but I think I made things worse with my dry facial expressions.." shocked would be an understatement. You had no idea how to respond. "No one knows that. Your actually the first person who knows the true story. The rest just made up silly rumors of how it ended, she left soon after so no one really knows the full story but me."

Still not knowing what to say you move your gaze to her. "Please say somethin." She says awkwardly. "You're not the best with words are you?" You let out a tiny giggle. She scratches her neck. "Is it obvious?" You shake your head slightly, with a roll of your eyes. "Dumbie." That silence you two always came across, occurs. You love it, it was comforting if you were quite honest. "We aren't doing much reading." She pipes up, making you look at her. "We aren't are we." You laugh a bit, setting it down and going to stand. "Where are you off to?" Honestly you didn't know, but you felt like putting music on. "Going to get my speaker, I always put on some music when Angela is out." Ellie learns more about you everyday. "What kind of music. Some heavy metal shit." Another laugh escapes you. "What do you take me for?" "I dunno, you surprise me very often." You had the speaker in hand, setting it down on the coffee table. "Honestly, if I like a song I like it, I don't have a specific type." She smiles. "Well said." You turn your head, looking at her. "And you?" She thinks for a sec, letting out a hum in thought. "Well as long as it's not some yehaw shit." This makes you laugh, harder than you have before. "Really? Now that's something I would've thought you'd like." She scoffs, throwing one of the pillows that were rested on the couch at your face.

But you catch it quickly. "Ugh, rude." Throwing it back at her she just laughs. You grab your phone and play your Playlist, sitting back down in the position you were in before. "So, loves to read, doesn't like heavy metal, is very ticklish." The last one makes you pinch her shoulder, resulting in her holding her arm with dramatics. "What else am I going to find out about you." You think for a moment. "I guess you'll have to wait and see." She tilts her head. "You a party person?" Honestly you had no idea, you hadn't been to the kind of party she's talking about in your entire life, so how could you tell if you liked them or not. "Can't judge when I've never been to one." Now it was her who was gobsmacked. "Never, ever?" She quotes you from before. "Shut up. I find fun in other things." She looks offended. "I've been to some pretty wicked parties ma'am." You roll your eyes. "You love doing that too, don't you?" She points at your face. "What? Roll my eyes?" She nods. "They'll get stuck like that if you aren't careful." She says, seeming serious but you knew she was being a dickhead.

"Oh Har Har." "No need to fake laugh around me. We all know how hard I can make you laugh." You raise a brow. "Oh really?" She nods. "Yes really, I'm the master." She notices the look on your face and smiles wickedly. "Challenge accepted." "Wait-" But she pounces on you, going straight to tickling you. You try to push her off, giggling as you do so. "Ok ok stop, point proven." Shes now laughing too, but they both die down as your eyes meet. As corny as that sounds its true, you two were currently so close to one another. You could feel the coolish air from her nose. Then something just clicks in her brain and. "Y/n." You keep the eye contact. "Mhmmmm." "I think I like you." You let out another giggle. "You think?" The look that's on her face makes you giggle more. "No like I know I do.." There was a long pause which made Ellie worry. "Is this the first time you've ever said that to someone." She nods reluctantly. You soon become more serious. "Like actually like me?" You sit up, staring at her at the confession. "I've never said that to a girl before. Never."

Looking down, you take in this information. "I think I like you too Els." You let a small smile slip but she just playfully rolls her eyes. "So what now then?" That, she hadn't thought too far into. But as she wonders what this could become those bad thoughts of hurting you cross her mind, usually she wouldn't care. Horrible as that is she never did care. Maybe you truly are changing her. And what she does next truly shocks the crap out of you. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

You had said yes. Ofcourse you were thinking of those thoughts too, but you had hope she wouldn't, consider yourself stupid? Maybe. You just wanted to live in the moment, if anything keeping it a secret was the most hardest thing throughout this all. The first time you and Ellie kissed you were just hanging out in your room, Angie was home and she had come in without knocking, thank goodness she saw nothing. You've also gotten closer with Jesse and Dina, they were so kind. You were sitting with them and Ellie one day having some food in the small Cafe they have down there. "I'm just going to get some more of that Cake, you want any?" She looks at you, you just shake your head no. As she goes to leave tho, Dina turns to you. "She has this new glow to her." A hum leaves your lips as you eat. "Maybe being around you is changing her." She continues. "If so can you like stay forever." Jesse then speaks. It made you laugh slightly. "I'm not going anywhere." They look at eachother. "Well that's if she doesn't do anything stupid." Damn, even her close friends have no hope in her. You'd be lying If you said that didn't worry you much.

More time passes and it's getting harder to keep the secret, you didn't really care for what anyone else had to say about it, but you sure did worry about Angie, Dina, and Jesse. You had bonded with all of them so well you didn't want them to hate you entirely. Today, you weren't as careful. You were currently hanging out with Dina and Jesse in your room, chilling. When you hear a knock at the door. "Hold up let me just get that." As you get up to go see who it was, you forgot to close your bedroom door. You open it, but before you can process anything you're being kissed, you froze. "Hey baby." Ellie then says after pulling away, gently grabbing the flesh of your ass. Open, your mouth was open in shock. "BABY?" You then heard Dina screech, coming out of your bedroom along with Jesse. "Uh oh-" Ellie then says, removing her hand. You swallow as you turn around slowly. "Ermmm." They were shocked. "Ain't no way." Dina continues. You were stumped. What were you suppose to say? "Really Ellie, another poor heart?" Ellie furrows her brows.

She was going to say something but you step in. "Hey, that's not entirely true. How do you know she will do that, she can change you kno-" Dina shakes her head. "She's not changing Y/n, she will hurt you." Ellie scoffs. "Right here you know." Dina looks at her. "Don't even think about hurting her, Ellie. Come on Jesse." They both go to leave. "We warned you." She says to you. You just stay quiet, watching as they go. Silence was left in the room. "I'm sorry I should've said something-" Ellie shakes her head. "Don't be, seriously. What's done is done it's not your fault, promise." She says, putting her hands on your shoulders then moving them to your cheeks. You nod slightly. "Well, do you think they hate us now?" She laughs a tad. "You? Never. Me? Always. But it's understandable so I can't blame them." You look down, it sadden you how they saw her, you knew she hadn't been so great in the past- but that was in the past. Right? She makes you look at her again, putting her thumb and index against your chin. "Don't worry about them or anything else yeah? That shouldn't be a concern." You nod at her words, getting on your tiptoes to kiss her. "Anyways are you hungry?" You asked as you make your way into the small kitchen you and Angie had.

Ellie shakes her head. "Well, not for food." She shrugs while having a sly smirk on her face, that makes you grab a piece of bread that was sitting on the counter and throw it at her. Which earns a chuckle from her lips. "You're gross." She holds her hands up. "Whattt can't admire my yummy girlfriend?" You roll your eyes. "Far from that-" "Ay! Dont talk about my girlfriend like that thank you very much." This only makes you laugh now, making her smile too. "Well, I'm going to have a snack because I'm quite hungry." You state, going over to grab something to munch on. You then feel hands on your waist, and a chin on your shoulder. "May I help you." She just shakes her head, soon after hiding it in your neck. "Nurp, comfy." That warmed your heart, she was such a sweet person. As you were fixing up some food you felt warm soft lips on your neck, so delicate and gentle. It made you close your eyes relishing in the tenderness. "You smell so good." She blurts out, keeping the warm kisses going. You hum in response. "You smell so.. bad." She pinches your waist making you giggle. "Ow!" "I don't smell bad, take that back!"

You only giggle more. "You smell like cigarettes." She gasps. "You've told me you love the way I smell! Liar!" You roll your eyes, but she swiftly turns you around in her arms, grabbing your face and squishing your cheeks. "Els-" She stares into your soul, making you laugh out. "What on earth are you doing?" "Shhh, making your eyes stay like the way they did since you love doing that so much." She continues to do whatever with her eyes. "Oh my god." You proceed to shove her off of you, but her grip tightens. "You're such an idiot." She smiles. "Yeah well I'm your idiot, so suck it up buttercup." She kisses your nose and loosens her grip, going to lean against the counter. "You really do look great today. Just thought I'd remind you." You smile sweetly at her. "You look pretty beautiful yourself." Shes now smiling too. "Im the pertyest." You laugh at the way she said it, making her smile grow. She could never get over how pretty your laugh was. It was her favorite thing, ever.

It had been a few months or so since you and Ellie first got together, maybe a bit longer but who's counting you. Currently you were making your way to her dorm, like most Friday nights. Knocking on the door to be greeted by your beautiful girlfriends green eyes. "Hey baby." You smile, and so does she. "Hello Ms thing. Come in come in." She moves out the way so you can enter, going straight to the couch and making yourself comfortable. "What have we got planned tonight?" You ask. You two usually always did a special something on a Friday night. Her roommate was out on most of them so you'd come over to Ellies. "Well I know how you feel about parties, and if you don't want to we can chill out here for the night, but there's one a few dorms down." You ponder this idea, and honestly, why not. You figure it'll be fun especially with Ellie and how enjoyable she could make anything be. "Sounds like a plan." She raises her brows, genuinely happy you agreed. "Awesome, I'm getting changed because I just came straight here from my last class." She mentions going to go do that.

You do a double take. "You? In class?" She scoffs. "Shut up." Which makes you smile. "Noo, it's great i'm glad." She shortly comes back out. "Your sarcasm is lovely." She sarcastically replies. "You ready?" You nod at her question. "Sure am."

The music was booming, so many crowds of people. The smell of alcohol and potentially what you assumed was drugs. Pleasant. "Oh this ones going to be a good one I can feel it." Ellie says looking around, scoping everything out. "You're so silly." "Come on let's get a drink." You follow but she knows you don't drink. "I'll be the sober help." She looks at you. "Not even one love?" Her question makes you shake your head as she puts a hand on your shoulder. "Alright, just make sure you're comfortable yeah?" She says before giving you a kiss. You smile at her words, beginning to feel weirdly anxious about the night, and you had no idea why.

People were everywhere it was all quite alot to take in. As you were sitting on Ellies lap you noticed how drunk she was. It was different seeing her like this. "Mmm I want another." She would slur. Making you let out a light giggle. "You're so gone Els-" "your laughs so pretty, makes my heart warm." She suddenly says. You smile more at her. "Well that's very kind of you." After a little you let out a sigh, you felt like you weren't being fun right now, you didn't want to disappoint Ellie but you had so much anxiety currently, and you had no idea on how to stop it. "Can you pretty please get me another drink my beautiful girlfriend." She taps your side, holding up her empty cup. You smile at how precious she was right now. "Sure can." You take it from her going to get off and head over to the drinks. As you're over there you feel someone next to you. "Here with Williams?" It was Kenny. You look at him. "Is that illegal?" He stares at you. "Are you dating her?" You huff. "What even is it to you Kenny?" He shakes his head. "Youre going to get hurt." "Im doing just fine thanks." You turn to leave, back to Ellie. "Here you go." You say a little dryly. "Thank youu." She muddles her words, grabbing it off of you. You sit back down in her lap. "Was he hassling you?" You hear her ask. "Who, Kenny? Nothing I can't handle my love." You reassure her, although you think it was slightly getting to you. She just nods in return.

The night went on, and your chest still had that same feeling, your anxiety was increasing. You wanted to have fun with your girlfriend and friends but you just couldn't seem to relax. It made you more anxious that Ellie wasn't with it. You're starting to think its childhood trauma that's making you feel this way, you didn't know how to just shut this weird feeling off. "You alright mama?" Ellie asks, rubbing your shoulder, still drunk as anything. You just nod and bite your lip, chewing that silky skin off nervously. "I'm just going to go for a pee." You tell her, getting up and heading to wherever the bathroom is. Once you find it you head in, going to the sink to splash water on your face in hopes it'd calm you down just a little bit. "You're fine, Y/n just take a breath and relax. Everything's fine." You say to your reflection. You leave, entering the booming party once again, going over to where Ellie was last seen but she's not there, odd. Making your way around you try to find her, hoping she's alright and she hasn't got into something bad, knowing how some idiots can be with drinks. As you make your way around the room your heart completely sinks to the floor, you stand there unable to move.

All your emotions crashing down on you. Shock being the main one, then anger. You truly couldn't believe any of it, was it some silly nightmare? There Ellie was just stuck to some girl. Kissing her. After that shock wears off you felt your anxiety push your anger into motion, moving your feet over to her. You make a cough noise, seeing her pull back from it turning slightly. She may of been drunk but she knew exactly what had happened. "Fuck-" She says under her breath. "Wait baby no i-" You grab her drink and chuck it in her face. "No." You point at her, the girl silently sneaking off. "Ellie what the actual fuck." She just stares at you. Now you feel your tears now they start to come, and her heart breaks. Tears spill at the sight you just witnessed, she's never seen you cry before. You're always so cheerful. So it truly ruins her. "Y/n no no please-" "After everything we've been through, after what you told me. They were wrong. You cant change for anyone. I should've listened to them." She immediately shakes her head. "Don't say that please- it was an accident fuck- she just-" But you shove the cup into her chest. "Shut up Ellie." And she does but she needed to tell you how sorry she was.

After a second of standing there you couldn't look at her anymore. "Wait-" She pleads as you begin to walk off, getting lost in the crowd of people, it was such a huge room you had no idea where you were even heading. The anxiety approaches again, all you wanted was to get back to the comfort of your own room. Your tears still dripping slightly, fogging your vision. You plop down on a random sofa, feeling a panic attack arise. Which freaks you out as you haven't had one of those in many years. You try to even out your breathing, which you managed to do. But everything was so overwhelming. Someone sits next to you, and great it was none other than Kenny. "Did she do something." You sigh. "Good God Kenny. Please just stop." He scoffs. "So im right, correct? Fucking Williams." You turn your head away, just wanting to get out of this unfamiliar place. He places a hand on your leg, making you stiffen. "I'm sorry she did, you never should deserve something like that." This makes you turn your attention to him. "She always steals the girls I like. And ruins their lives." Your eyes widen. "Wha-" "I could treat you so much better." He says. You were baffled by this. "Kenny what are you even-" When you couldn't think this night could get worse, it does. He goes to try and kiss you but you dodge it immediately, standing to your feet. "Kenny no- im really not interested." He begins to stand too. "That's what she said." You smelt it on his breath. "Kenny you're drunk, I think you need some water-"

He shakes his head getting close to you again, your overwhelming anxiousness comes back again, especially once you see him flush to the floor. Your attention is now on Ellie who punched the living shit out of him. "Ellie what the fu-" "He touched you!" You facepalm. "Good God I have nowhere near enough energy for this shit." The night couldn't get any worse as Kenny stands back up, the two drunk as anything. "You bitch." He goes to swing at her but she moves. "Fight round two then, you fucker." She begins it all. You don't even know what to do anymore. "You're both children." You state, going to try find the exit. You had to get back, this night was all too much. But Ellie notices you leaving, so she goes after you. "Wait no- please let me explain!" She grabs your arm but you yank it. "No Ellie. Don't ever touch or even speak to me again." "They weren't right, you have changed me i swear to you!" You shake your head. "Once a dick. Always a dick. You. Have. Not. Changed." You spat.

#elliewilliams #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader

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soraviie · 1 year

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they told you to go and you did.txt

━ type: bts x gn! reader ━ navigation

━ about: heavy angst ━ pictures taken from Pinterest

━ c/w: mention of mental illness, implied emotional cheating, falling out of love, smoking

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON: If you'd still talk, you'd ask him if "disappointment" is the right word. It's not pain. It's actually hard to describe what is this familiar pang, the stab that almost feels like a bruise made yesterday. It's not pain. It's the sad realization in your heart of hearts that this would happen eventually. It's a disappointment because once, just this once you allowed yourself to believe it'd be different. And you were wrong. Or rather you were right all along. He's just like that and you're you and the rest is a story that writes itself.

Picking yourself up is hard work, hence perhaps why they call it falling for someone. Falling is not a threat, people fall all day long but a fall from the last step of stairs no matter how scary is not lethal but falling in love, unlike a blunder through the dark, is getting up into a skyscraper and then placing all the trust that the other person will provide a mat big enough to cushion the fall. But he had pulled your safety net away. You'll rebuild yourself, from scratch if needed but some part of your trust in all people will forever be cracked. If a forever person becomes temporary...it's a bizarre, ungainly feeling that unevens your footing and makes for many, many quiet afternoons spend in the company of your lonesome, staring out through the windows and thinking was it always meant to end like this.

"You were supposed to be there," you breathed out, shaking. Out of anger, out of cold, who knows.

"And I said I'm sorry," he growls back, shoving the laying laundry into the washing machine.

"Sorry? "Sorry" is not going to cut it! For weeks - weeks! - I've asked you, I begged you to be there! It was one of the most important events in my life!"

"What do you want me to do here?" Namjoon asks, exasperated and the wrinkle between his eyebrows mars his features into someone...unrecognizable. A stranger almost. Since when have you had to beg to be heard?

"I don't know," you reply truthfully but slowly something in your gut begins to work. Why are you feeling like the villain? You shouldn't be.

You shouldn't be is the chief thought.

"Do you even care about me?"

"What?"

The look in his eyes...you know, you just know, he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand this profound feeling of being tired. Being proven right that, in the end, you will always have this - begging to be heard and understood and it's tiring. It's draining the soul right in front of his eyes, ones which do not see the obvious.

"Do you even care about me?"

He scoffs.

"Take a walk so you clear your head and don't ask stupid questions."

In hindsight, a very small part of you is grateful. The comment was cruel and cut like the end of a sharpened knife but it gave you a leeway. It gave you the thought that if you had to go, you didn't have to come back.

And it's like a bit of fresh air after that. Dizzying, confusing, the feeling of being lost in a way never leaving but you're finding your legs so to speak. You didn't owe him anything, there is no legal law that would force you to explain. You walked right out. A walk to never return, a walk to self re-discovery. You eat what you like, you go where you like and when you feel like dying because there your lover is not on the other side of the bed, you turn around and pretend he was never there.

He was after all rarely there, to begin with.

Right or wrong, who cares, you could just leave and while you're alone, at least you don't have to beg. At least, you understand even if it's yourself.

YOONGI: Lillies, as Yoongi finds out, are not long-lived flowers. They fall most often in clumps of petals. Not elegant and refined like those in drawings but dropping almost half of themselves in one swift move. In one second, losing nearly all they had, remaining then barren and partly lifeless. He didn't know enough about flowers to know when exactly are they pronounced dead. But he'll be here. He'll be here because he's done nothing else but watch them shed, clump by clump.

"I told you," he'd said with a smile of all things. A cold, mirthless smile but still. "I told you it'd be hard, that you wouldn't be able to handle it."

"That's...that's not it all," you deny and maybe you hadn't been lying. All he knows is that the fear had gripped him so hard he couldn't even breathe then.

"No, it is what it is," he'd cut back sharply, decisive, leaving no room to argue because if you'd argue you'd do the same magic you'd done when he first fell in love, he'd listen and do everything exactly how you want it. He didn't want to listen at that moment, he'd just wanted to be angry.

"Then go, just go. Go back 'cause I know you want to."

Tears rose on your waterline and suddenly he felt like a bad guy which in turn, of course, made him more vicious.

"You're being cruel," you breathed faintly. "You're just being cruel."

He scoffed harshly.

"I'm just being honest. Face it, you can't handle being with me," a pause. Critical hit. Cruelty for cruelty's sake. "You can't handle much at all."

And if he had even a little bit of a brain left he'd see the change. The exact moment where you fell out of love with him and it happened just then.

You took a step back, breathed in exactly once, calmly, sombre even.

"Okay," is all you said and unbeknownst to him, that would end up as the last thing you'd say to him. "Okay" is what could kill love - a supposedly unkillable thing.

The flowers are what he brought to ask for forgiveness which would not be granted. There was no next time, no do over, no apology. You'd been long gone when he wisened up to his own words and now he has a vase of old Lillies, wilting on his desk. He reaches to straighten one of the last petals but in its frailty, it just falls. It falls down, down, down and lands on his desk. He puts his hand away. The clock ticks away.

"Okay," he mutters to himself and then sinks into silence.

JIN: "They're my parents," he says for the thousandth time, driving half-blind through the dark.

"So what?!" you exclaimed. "They don't get to say all those things about my family. About me!"

"And I already told you, I warned you that they...they would be like that! They're old! Different."

"That's not being different! That's being a dick."

His eyes glinted and you flinched. You'd never fought with Jin before. Not like this certainly. But whenever you thought of forgiving him, it all came back even clearer. How he just stood there, silent, staring at his plate like a small boy would when they called you a gold digger, your family nothing but mud-trodden scammers. The spoilt rotten apple of the bad seeds. And your lover, your boyfriend, your one true fairytale prince had bowed his head in compliance.

"Careful," he growls, hands tightening around the wheel. "Mind your tongue."

He could slap you and it'd be less bitter.

"Did your mother mind your tongue?" you asked sharply, suddenly yanked harshly forth as he drove a foot through the brakes.

"I'll give you this one last opportunity," he spits and it awakens a heinous part of yourself. Or rather it extends. It extends from the scenery of not even an hour into the past, when you'd sat by the dining table listening to one hurled insult after the next. His father had been "the others", his mother and now he himself. It's him vs you. And that's...

...that's just not someone you could ever touch without shuddering in hate.

"One last chance to stop throwing a fuss. To stop disrespecting my family and myself."

"I can't disrespect it," you open your mouth, weirdly proud. It's cathartic to hate at times. "It would imply I've held any this evening."

His jaw makes an audible sound when it clamps shut. You'd hurt deep, you'd cut it where it hurts. Good, so had he.

"Get out," he hisses, clearly fighting hard to reign in his temper. "Get out of my car now!"

You do and afterwards, he speeds off, tires screeching against the cement road, fumes, in time, evaporating into the atmosphere. You touch the necklace, his gift, on your neck. Feels more like a chain now. You take it away, frown and allow yourself to think.

Gold diggers, scammers, evildoers and nothing but lowlier of the low they had said into your face. You remember your own mother's face, proud and happy, then tired after working long hours just to put food on the table. She'd be heartbroken about this, she'd cry.

And no one could ever make your mother cry. Guided by a sudden impulse you throw the necklace away and it glistens once under the streetlights.

Jin's car disappears over the horizon and despite lingering, you see no point in going after it. You could go home.

The thought fills you with comfort.

You could just go home.

Your mother picks up after one ring.

"Hey, I'm just letting you know, I'll sleep over, is that okay?"

Your mother's voice comes frazzled but she attempts to make it soothing. No, she should never meet those people. Those people who would hate her without a reason, who raised a son you fell in love with. Past tense.

"Of, course, it's okay," then, softly, cautious. "Did it go awry? What about your boyfriend?"

You glimpse over your shoulder. JIn is long gone. There's nothing but the dark so you turn and walk the opposite way.

"There's no boyfriend anymore," you reply, cooly but even so few, traitor tears rush into your eyes and it gets hard to breathe. "But I still got you."

"The porch lights will be on," after a moment she explains kindly and you nod. "I'll be waiting."

HOSEOK: "I just think...this will be the best of us."

That's really all you remember. At the time, the words fell distant like coming from another room. His damn present, a simple present you'd saved over the course of the summer was burning against your leg, distracting you, maybe saving you in a way. If you'd heard a flaw he had named as to why would you deserve to suddenly be broken up with, you didn't remember it. He'd been doing so well, being so good, practising and making history and you loved him so much you just wanted to make him smile. He'd been so stressed. So empty and removed. And when you heard his call, his tentative invitation to a restaurant you thought must be destiny, he must be thinking it too, you needed to be closer together. Reality... the reality was as always much different than you imagined in your head.

You'd sat politely, being really good, not quite listening due to the bracelet sitting in your pocket like a carcass, but you hadn't made a fuss. Should you have? Or did you do the right thing?

Whatever should or should not have happened will take place in the multiverse, in the infinitude of other more pleasant realities, this one was yours.

"You should cry," your friend suggests, with a frown of worry. But you can't hear her also. Flinging the pillows left and right, you try to find the damn thing. The receipt is nowhere. You couldn't have just flung it into the trash, right?

"Honestly, fuck this guy."

Right, fuck Hoseok. But when you remember him, you don't suddenly learn how to hate him. That was...that went against everything you knew.

"Just please go," he pleaded, you'd open your mouth to at least give him the bracelet. It was after all a present. Why had you been so hyper-focused about it? You can't remember that also.

"Just go. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

But what it did have to be? What did you do? Or not do? What was so wrong with you that he kicked you away?

"He left you for his career," your friend scoffed. Her pride was your pride and vice versa but at the moment you couldn't even appreciate her indignance. The receipt was gone. You did not have it. And as such the bracelet, his bracelet, the one you worked so had to buy for your own money, could not be ridden of.

"Plain and simple. You were distracting him, whatever that means. What a prick."

You had not thought the same then and you didn't think it now. Coming to a stand you wonder how long will it take to unlearn someone. Hoseok must have learned it quite quickly. He'd not even spared you a glimpse as you stood there, with the bracelet in hand, suddenly turned into a parting gift not one of gratitude. If he saw it, he hadn't cared. And so you went, as he asked, clutching the bracelet in your palm. Hoseok must be a quick learner, you reckoned, leaving the bracelet to lay on your nightstand table.

JIMIN: "Already back?" a neighbour, a smarmy twenty-something who thinks he's just the thing because he has a couple of tattoos on his arm, asks. You light up the cigarette already put between your lips and scoff in his direction.

"Yeah. Now quit hanging around in the stairway, you look like a predator," with that you enter your apartment. It's disgusting to smoke indoors, that you admit, but right now it was time to think and smoking for some reason made your head clearer. Navigating through the dark, you stumbled out into the balcony, breathing out a sigh of relief. Flicking the ash into the makeshift ashtray you thought and thought and thought.

"When?! When will you be ready?!" he'd practically screamed. You hated when people raised their voice and he knew that but he still did it. A fact you wouldn't forgive anyone but this was...Jimin and he'd been the exception for a long time. Longer than he should have.

"I don't know! When we got together, I told you I'd be difficult! I'm...ill!" recalling how your lip had wobbled, you sneered to yourself. One cigarette down but you bought a new pack so there was plenty.

"Stop using that as an excuse!" he'd snarled, fists curling out of anger. You had thought then that if he truly wanted to marry you, he'd stay true to his word to be understanding. Of understanding that your mind did not always work the same way most people were used to, it did things, often ones you couldn't grasp full control of, like fear, fearing everything and most of all being yelled at for this very same fear.

"It's not an excuse!" you shrieked. "It's the answer! When someone has a cold, do you reprimand them for coughing? Why is this illness any different?!"

You were objectively hard to love if mental illness was easy it wouldn't be an illness. You required work, work done by yourself and by your partner and you had told him that, you'd told him fair and square, come clean with all that you were and Jimin had promised to love you all the same. He was, it seems, a beautiful kind of liar.

"You won't ever be ready," he'd continued, a hard scowl warping his features. "You know why? Because you hate yourself so much you can't even wrap your head around the idea of not self-sabotaging yourself for once."

And it was the truth. Objectively speaking. But you didn't mind the truth. It could be harsh and unapologetic but you could swallow it down, just not cruelty. Anything but cruelty. Coming from the one man on earth you thought could not be cruel. See what you meant by beautiful? Beautiful, convincing, angel of a liar.

"And I can't handle it anymore. I can't handle your..." he raised his hands out of frustration, letting the fists rise to his own chest and shake there before it happened.

"You're just too much. So just go away because you're just too much for me."

Pushing the bud of the cigarette against the glass jar, you put out the last light on the balcony. It's dark now and you sit, arms crossed, still thinking. You know what to do, you'd done it plenty of times before but...you just thought, you assumed, had the delusion that..he'd be the one, you know. That he'd be...different. But the nature of liars is to lie, you suppose.

TAEHYUNG: It is sad and horrifying to realize that you're becoming one of those couples. Those couples that do not talk, that sit on the bed silently and sullenly, waiting for it to be over, couples who did not touch each other, who forgot each other's bodies, voices and minds. Those couples who you always looked on with pity, wondering to yourself why didn't they just break it off. What was the point?

But the point was that, of course, once upon a time you loved Taehyung and you think he loved you too. You almost saw him, the younger him, the one that charmed you with the promise of timeless romance only to let the very same time deteriorate it away. As you walked up to the cafe, you saw him there, laughing with a friend you did not know he had. They're both laughing in fact, clearly enjoying their time and you can't help but feel like a creep, like an onlooker peeking into the lives of a happy couple even if it's your boyfriend sitting there. He'd brought them flowers. You don't remember when was the last time he'd given your flowers. The promise was every Wednesday, the reality was sometimes after the first six months, anniversaries after two years, never after five.

He pulls the chair closer to the friend. You saw the other person's blush in the candlelight and then with even more horrifying realization, you grasp that you're the other person. The one brushed to the side when they're of no other use.

"Those are pretty flowers," you reckoned, mostly just to start a conversation. An ice breaker for a lover, strange isn't it?

"I guess," he offers a non-committal grunt.

"Should I meet you after work? We could go somewhere?" you almost sounded hopeful then. How naive.

"Don't bother," he says, not quite even looking at you, more so focused on the mirror to fix the tie the other other person was twirling between their fingers. "I'll be busy and late tonight. Just go home."

Standing on the street and passively watching your love slip away, you figure you'll do just that. You won't be one of those people, you thought, standing straighter and leaving the window side, you won't cry yourself to sleep, you won't find someone else's scent on his shirt, you won't have your heart any more broken. You'll just go home.

And Taehyung was not home anymore.

But it's okay, you tell yourself, stumbling unsteadily through the neon-lit streets, you'll find a new one. You'll be okay.

JUNGKOOK: You used to love his jokes, his confidence, his assuredness that you were meant to be. But after some time, you don't quite know when, it stopped being funny the way he brushed off your worries, always so assured that in the end, it'll work out. That no matter what you'll forgive him anything.

You stopped loving his jokes.

And you stopped loving his confidence.

And you stopped loving him.

You just wanted for him to listen but he was so smug, so assured that you wouldn't leave. You just wanted for him to listen just once.

But he never did.

"If I'm so horrible, then just leave," he tossed over his shoulder, tugging harshly on Bam's leash. "Just leave!"

But he did it first, slamming the door behind and dragging Bam with him.

Maybe it's selfish, really childish, quite unhealthy but in a way also victorious. You drag your clumsily arranged suitcase, stubborn. You miss him. But a him that's not even here. Can a person die while still living?

But even if it's selfish, childish and unhealthy, it becomes easier with the next step. You're just leaving, just going. You still miss him, you miss Bam and others, and all the funny toys on his shelves, and his kitchen towels and the laughter on Fridays and movies on Mondays but even more you miss yourself. The street is long and you wonder where you'll end up next, once upon a time, it brought you to Jungkook and now it'll take you away from him. You can find plenty of sadness about it but not enough regret to turn around. Whoever's fault it was, even if it truly was a fault, it doesn't matter now. It's over, it was good for a while and now it's over. You're free to go where you want and so is Jungkook and when enough time passes you know you'll wish him nothing but the best.

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elvestoneanzelote1 · 2 months

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A:n- 𝘴𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘗𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘴𝘰...

𝘌𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘐 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘱𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦.

𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 from 𝘰𝘧 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥𝘴

(Slight yan) Sherlock Holmes x male reader

It wasn't the fact you were too quiet. No, he is fine with people been quiet.

And there are many artist.

Illustration, architect, and... Good in chemistry and painters.

Nor he should bother himself to name all of them.

But something was different about you.

You have knowledge he knows but you pretend you aren't compatible in intellect.

He doesn't get you at all.

Not even one bit.

He doesn't.

Perhaps he was annoying you often.

Perhaps...

But you don't seem to bother much so it's fine right?

Confining yourself in the room he had to unlock it because you make Miss Husson worry perhaps... Even him.

Friends... Were you even his friends can you both call each other that? He wonders.

People will lose interest in silent people who barely talks but he couldn't.

He never understands you or perhaps he does but never really takes into consideration that he may over bothering you.

Right...?

You were so unbothered... So blank with poker face of sort.

Not even a smile.

And the fact he gets annoyed that you can't even draw him unlike how you drew the others.

He wonders why you often hang out with Madeline either.

Yes she is pretty but isn't she overbearing sometimes? Like often hog your attentions?

Hugging you as if you both are couples.

Trying to swoon you with her smile and.. And.. He doesn't know why.

He felt irritated that you never told her to keep distance but to him.

Hey both of you were boys either way it wouldn't bother you to hug you... Will it?

Even John and you hang out quiet well.

you spoke more with John than... Him.

And whatever he does it never... Get your attention.

Like... He never caught your attention.

He doesn't know why he is feeling this way.

Frustrated he was and annoyed.

But... He just want to hug you is it... Weird?

Or will it bother you if lean closer to you more?

I mean... Okay you are irritated by the cigarette smell... Which he try not to smoke often around you.

He doesn't understand you at all.

He felt his mind been consume constantly... By either the case he should do as a detective or... Try to...

Why were you so... Difficult.

His brother said women's are hard to tell but for him it was you.

He... Just want to see... Your smile.

Once.

That's all he ask.

And perhaps... He will crack you open more.

He doesn't understand why you talk to William well too.

Like you both knew each other well.

He knows Liam also is interested on you.

He is too he admit.

You were strange.

But perhaps that's the strange thing he find himself lured to you.

But he isn't going to ignore some who try to break your boundaries.

Clients or not if they make you uncomfortable to even approach him he will make sure they won't come again.

No no he won't resort to anything threatening yet. if the person knows and backs away.

Is it wrong to get know something that perk your interest no right?

After all... You and him are not far of to get to know each other more and more.

And perhaps... Something more.

After all... He can let himself be slight greedy can he?

He doesn't know... And he will try to know.

Whatever is it about you that make him feel so connected and lured he will... Find it.

A:n- that's all take care good day/night to all

#mtp sherlock #mtp x reader #yandere mtp #moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty the patriot x reader #yandere moriarty the patriot #mtp x male reader #sherlock holmes #yandere sherlock #slight yandere #mtp sherlock x male reader #moriarty the patriot x male reader #genshin albedo #yandere x male reader

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doublesunsets · 9 months

Text

Wild Nights

Crosshair x female!reader PWP - NSFW Word Count: 2k

Request from @freesia-writes

(...) either Crosshair or Hunter taking their time absolutely tantalising a fem reader until she’s nearly feral… You can “finish” or not.

Note: Hopefully it gets close to what you had in mind, Free! I'm not so sure about the tantalising part, but there's definitely some teasing 😁.

I have no idea what happened here, Crosshair wanted that, don't ask me. It went a little bit out of hand, so I turned it into a proper one-shot. First time writing Crosshair, please be kind, he is hard (no pun intended). Extremely indulgent. Training room fantasies, am I right? Timeline is before Order 66, in case anyone wants to know.

This was so much fun, thank you again for the request! 💜 -Sunset

✩Ao3 Link

The drops of sweat fell down your neck as you tried to stabilise your heart. You knew what to do, deep breath, one, two, let it out, and your heart slowly went back to its normal rhythm. The rain threw itself to the floor to ceiling window of the training room, while the waves crashed as well, making it impossible to distinguish which way was the water coming from. You hated being stationed in Kamino, it was like being trapped inside a gigantic washing cycle. Only storms and sleepless nights spent alone in a training room.

“Odd hours for a training session.”

The deep voice startled you, and you turned around quickly. Its owner was watching you, lounging at the door like a wave just brought him there. He was… strange for a clone, was he even a clone? Maybe he was a bounty hunter like you, but then why would he be wearing the black glove of the Republic? He had to be. Those muscles were too perfect to not be engineered, and those legs looked good enough to—

“Are you done?”

You spluttered, embarrassed at being caught ogling him, and put your hands on your hips in an attempt to command some respect. “Identify yourself, trooper.”

“Crosshair.” He squared his shoulders and entered the room, letting the door slide close after him. “I know who you are, I’ve seen you training regs.”

“Is that what you want? Some training?”

“There’s nothing you could teach me.” He took a studiously slow step towards you and you repressed the urge to take one back. Something about the way he moved made him look dangerous, even if he was unarmed. “But there is something that I want. You.”

“Is that so?”

“Let’s say, I have you in my scope.” The mirth in his eyes told you there was a joke there that you were not getting, but the tone of his voice didn’t let any doubt about what he was actually saying.

“Please, you wouldn’t even know what to do with me,” your tone of voice matched his sassy one to your surprise. Why were you enabling him? Oh, Maker, were you flirting? Were overconfident clones your type tonight?

He stopped in front of you, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him, a high contrast with the cold room. “We could make it a game. We could see how long it takes until I turn you into a whimpering mess.”

While he spoke, he started circling around you, a brief touch to your arm, his fingers drawing the curve of your hip. When he reached your other side, you looked over your shoulder to his warm eyes. By the suns, he was smoking hot. His white hair fell down on his forehead, and it was blinding under the neon lights of the facility. Blast it, if he wanted to play, you could play. What he was offering was definitely better than training by yourself, there was nothing wrong in taking it. You raised your chin and turned to face him, and he took it as the permission it was. He half-smiled, the corner of his lip barely pulling up, and circled your wrist with his fingers.

“Good choice.”

“You sure think highly of yourself, don’t you?”

He didn’t respond, just let his fingers travel up, through the back of your arm, with enough pressure that the contact felt oddly grounding. From your shoulder, he followed then the angle of your collarbone to the hollow of your neck and rested his palm flat there, on top of your breastbone, his fingertips just grazing your neck.

It made you feel conscious about your heart, which was thundering against his palm. Deep breath, one, two, let it out. He made a non-committal noise, and his hand slid up your neck until his nails grazed the hair of your nape, his thumb resting under your jawbone. He put some pressure into it and you allowed him to lift your head.

Meticulously, he bowed his head to you and his breath fanned over your neck. You waited for lips that never came.

“Are you not going to do anything?” You told him, tone annoyed despite yourself. He was getting under your skin too fast for your liking.

“I am.” His lips were still not touching you, but for a second you felt the tip of his nose trace the skin under your ear.

“A conversationalist.”

Crosshair huffed and before you could make another sarcastic comment about it, he grabbed your shoulder and spun you around, making your back collide with his chest. His hand was grabbing now the front of your neck, still forcing your head up, which rested on his shoulder. You closed your eyes and felt his strong body at your back, a solid wall that burned like the scorching sand of Tatooine. His chest was still, almost like he wasn’t breathing, barely moving, and while he was not choking you, the strength and precision of those fingers was clear to you. A thrill went down your spine at the thought.

“You are a sniper.”

He actually chuckled at that, and got closer to your ear, brushing his lips softly against its shell, lowering his sibilant voice. “Clever girl.”

You reached back and clawed at his thighs, but he clearly wasn’t planning on rushing. He started tracing down your figure with his free hand, the curve of your breast, down your stomach, and over your hipbone. One finger sneaked itself under the waistband of your leggings, and stayed there. As a promise.

He barely had touched you but you felt your knees weak already, and refused to let him know that. Trying to break your resolution, his lips dropped to your pulse point, delicately, and a whimper struggled to escape your throat. You swallowed it down in a harsh breath, but your nails sank down harder into the firm muscle. He didn’t flinch, though, Crosshair carried on down your neck, turning them into wet kisses and leaving a trail that quickly cooled down on your skin. The goosebumps were because of that, you lied to yourself.

“I’ve been thinking about this for so long,” he hissed, almost like he was talking to himself. “Seeing those regs poor attempts at flirting with you was painful to watch. Someone as extraordinary as yourself deserves only extraordinary things.”

“And are you?” You breathed, wetting your lips. “Extraordinary?”

“You have no idea.”

A thunder reverberated in the room and you gasped, pushing yourself harder against him. His hand took advantage of it and abandoned your neck, travelling down to your breast, and started kneading it over your clothes.

The solid presence of his body behind you exuded power and confidence, he had you in his hands, quite literally, and he hadn’t needed to do anything. The most intoxicating feeling was the delicacy of his movement and what hid behind it. Because you could feel the restraint, the tension in his body. You realised, then. This man could wreck you, take you with the same violence as the storm outside, but instead he was waiting, like a snake coiled, ready to strike.

He knew what he was doing, he was waiting, looking through his scope. Waiting until you put yourself in front of his crosshair so he had a clean shot.

The bastard wanted you to beg.

You tried to breathe. One, two. Your legs were trembling. One, two. He bit your earlobe. One, two. He pinched your nipple. One, two. Dank Farrik.

“Crosshair, I need yo—“

You didn’t have to finish your sentence.

In a smooth movement, his hand sneaked inside your clothes and grabbed firmly your whole cunt. A whine left your throat and you heard him snickering behind you.

“Still not moaning,” you told him, breathless, but steady.

“You speak with too much dignity for someone this wet for me.”

You felt his fingers slid between your labia, through that wetness that sure enough was there, probably since the moment those eyes pierced into yours. Finally, unhurriedly, he penetrated you with two fingers, finding no resistance, only a warm and drenched welcome. You wanted to scream at him to move faster, but refused to give him the satisfaction and grabbed his thighs, enveloping them completely this time, and squeezed hard.

“You are missing the show,” he rasped, while he started kissing your neck again.

It took you a moment to realise what he meant, his fingers were only barely intruding and his kisses were more a dragging of lips, but your mind was drunk with his presence. You opened your eyes and there, in front of you, you saw yourself. Reflected in the window, with the storm as a background, and Crosshair right behind you. One hand between your legs, while the other grabbed your breast desperately, he returned your gaze.

And he looked devastated.

The visual crumbled your resolve, without looking away you opened your mouth and the lewd sounds he wanted came out of it. He closed his eyes and buried his face in your hair, and you felt a sigh break loose. Crosshair dragged his fingers out of you, and dead on target went directly to your clit and circled it in tight motions almost violently. Your body jerked in his arms, after all the pent-up sensations the intensity hit you perfectly, and soon a fire began to concentrate in you, begging to spread out.

You were dimly aware of Crosshair humping your behind, panting heavily still with his face hidden in your hair, while the frantic pace of his fingers started to match the rhythm of his hips. Your moans were not the only sound in the room now and hearing him whimper against your skin was almost enough to take you over the edge. Almost.

Emboldened and a little bit desperate for your release, you lifted your arm and reached behind you, grabbing his hair and yanking until his face was next to yours. He hissed but it was silenced quickly by your bruising kiss, that he accepted enthusiastically. The moment your lips parted, his tongue invaded your mouth and you yanked at his hair again while a white heat spread like wildfire inside you. Crosshair swallowed your scream, and kept massaging you until you rode it out completely.

By the time you came back, he had stopped humping against you and was simply slumped over your shoulder, hugging you from behind, one hand still inside your clothes. You were still pulling at his hair, so you untangled your fingers gently and stroked the side of his head.

“I don’t know how this game of yours worked, but I feel like I won,” you whispered.

You heard a dry chuckle as his body vibrated slightly against yours.

Outside, the storm had subsided a little bit.

Your new assignment was supposed to meet you at Hangar-19 ten minutes ago. If you were lucky enough, they had left already and you could go back to bed, you thought to yourself, strolling leisurely through the halls of Tipoca City. You were not in the mood to start a several rotations mission with a new team.

The bastard, as you had started calling him, left shortly after your encounter with flimsy excuses about early calls. You had wanted to search for him in the database, only to realise that he never told you his number, so you had no way of finding him.

When you arrived at the hangar, an Omicron-class attack shuttle threw your hopes out into the ocean. Their owners, clad in black armour, were waiting for you at the ramp and one of them approached you while you tried to remember the rank and name they had given you. Maybe you should have read further than the two first lines.

“I’ve been told to meet with my new assignment here, Sergeant…”

“Hunter. We were expecting you, yes.” He turned and your eyes followed the direction of his hand to the rest of the team. “This is Clone Forc-“

“Crosshair!” You gasped as his white hair came into view when he removed his helmet. Crosshair smirked and puffed out his chest at your reaction.

“Ah! You know her? Nice!”

“This explains where you were last night.”

Your new assignment looked pretty interesting out of the sudden.

Tag list (reminder to let me know if you are not interested in being tagged or if you want to be included!)

@motte-the-goblin @fenharel-enaste @nahoney22

#crosshair x reader #tbb fanfiction #tbb crosshair #fic request #smut #star wars smut #sunset writes

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empty-movement · 1 year

Note

sorry but please... post your akio plastic covered couch tweet here... the world needs to know...

Warning: pics of gross shit happening on the couches

I'll do you one better and include the STORY! So, I, Vanna (note: Yasha mostly does the Tumblr and I mostly do the Twitter,) was smoking enough weed to knock out a large horse or put a very tiny dent in my constant back and shoulder pain, as one does when when they're a middle-aged Registered Nurse in the year 2023. (I'm 39 but it's an old 39, lmao.)

Scrolling through Twitter, I stumble on a fanart of Suletta from Witch of Mercury sitting goofily on a white couch. Now I haven't seen this show yet, but the white couch....looked familiar, and I know the show is very much a descendent of Utena in terms of creative teams. For those that don't know, the series is written by Ichirō Ōkouchi, who also wrote the two Revolutionary Girl Utena novelizations...which if you didn't know about before, you know about now, and can read translated on our site here! (Warning: Touga and Miki uh, in the novels...)

Anyways, so I hop onto my own website and start downloading the images that will constitute receipts, before realizing 1. these images are all on multiple computers feet away from me, 2. the couch isn't an identical match, 3. that'd have been weird anyway, and most importantly, 4:

AKIO'S COUCHES DON'T LOOK RIGHT. OBSERVE:

The edges of the armrests have sloppier upholstery than the blanket I have covering my computer desk. I took the time to tuck seams at least. What is this??

Now it could absolutely be leather, I thought. It would absolutely track. But leather upholstery doesn't look like this. It doesn't wrinkle quite this way. It would have cleaner seams.

No. No that's too shiny for leather. So here I am, presented with this strangeness I'd never really considered in how Akio's couch is drawn, and having spent the last few months learning about my Italian-American family history, my chemically altered ass came to the only reasonable conclusion:

Akio Ohtori has plastic coverings on his white couches, like he's a depression era American in poverty.

Fuck yeah, I though, A HIT TWEET, there, at the end of all Tweeting things. (Yeah I'm working on that, stay tuned, lmao. I of all people know when to bail on stupid men with stupid power.) Because I am me, I framed it as semi serious by pulling a context to explain it out of my ass:

I was joking.

But the replies? They were not. And then I thought about it some more. And I've kept thinking about it. Do I seriously think Ikuhara and Co literally are intentionally drawing a plastic covered couch? Doesn't that feel, Vanna, like a bit of a stretch, even for Utena meta?

Listen to that CRONCH when Akio sits down in episode 31, before Anthy is seen by Nanami. Look, the buttons on the back rest don't quite fit, but the rest? Yeah it kinda does. I was high, but not wrong!?

Akio *does* surround himself with a bizarre hodgepodge of Americana as an aesthetic. The arm garters. The piping and cut of his cowboy-ass shirt. His American car. His mullet. His miniature fucking golf. Why not the plastic covered couch? It's a trope of American poverty that would absolutely have fallen neatly into the diet of American pop culture that influenced Ikuhara. (He makes references to E.T. and The Godfather and Suspiria and all kinds of things in his other work, Utena itself is a little less obvious with individual references but inherits HUGE amounts of vibes from the same content--Ikuhara and Co watched Lost Highway in theaters during the production of the Akio Arc and I will not be convinced otherwise.)

So yeah. That's the story, and that's the theory. Do I seriously believe it was deliberate? Maybe. Probably. Possibly. But it fits so well it's headcanon for me, and in the Utena fandom, pretty much all canon is kind of headcanon so enjoy this one.

What an asshole.

#utena #revolutionary girl utena #utena meta #akio ohtori #akio's couches #do I really need to point out the functional utility of plastic covered couches for this particular character though

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strangersteddierthings · 8 months

Text

Steve, Gareth and Chrissy are cousins AU (sad edition) [prologue] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Final Part]

He knows he promised Robin he wouldn't smoke anymore, but honestly, he thinks he's earned this one. Saving Eddie from his stupidity had been a full time job that still amounted to Steve getting a repeat chow down from the goddamn bats. Not that Eddie made it out much better, but fuck, if Steve hadn't been here to keep Eddie in the trailer for the extra five minutes, all of Eddie would look like hamburger instead of his sides looking like steak (all of those five minutes spent fucking wrestling each other while Dustin kept screaming at him to stop Eddie, don't you fucking dare let him out that door, Steve).

Not that Eddie had won the wrestling match, Steve wasn't joking when he said he knew Eddie wouldn't be able to overpower him. Instead, Eddie'd given up, rag-dolled in Steve's grip with a quiet sob.

"Steve, I have to. I have to make sure they have enough time. That's my uncle!"

And yeah, Steve was surprised to learn Wayne isn't his dad, but that took a backseat to the new issue wiggling its way into his brain. Vecna had taken Chrissy. Had threaten to add Gareth to that list. The fear of losing the only family you have... "Fine. But we go together. A loop around the park and back here. I swear to God, Munson, if you get us killed, I'm ruining your afterlife."

"What!? Steve, no! Steve!" Dustin screams above them.

"As if we'd end up in the same afterlife," Eddie had huffed.

And it had worked well, until the end there. Eddie went down, tripped over a dropped bike just yards from the front door of his home, and Steve couldn't leave him there to become bat dinner. They'd held their own, barely, and then the bats had started dropping.

They'd exchanged startled looks before bursting into hysterical laughter of relief that only slowed when Dustin came busting through door, screaming at them some more.

So, yes, Steve earned this cigarette, which Eddie had climbed the sheets to fetch a pack from the stash in his room. He'd offered to bring a joint back if Steve wanted but he'd declined that, citing Dustin as his excuse. He doesn't feel like having to explain why he doesn't get high anymore, especially since he used to be a frequent customer back in the day. Goddamn Russians under Starcourt.

Eddie and he sit on the porch, side by side, and watch the horizon for any sign of Wayne, Robin, or Nancy.

The monster falls from the attic, and they all advance to look down at the smoldering body. "You girls go down and confirm he's dead."

"Yes sir," Nancy says while he hears Robin mutter, "confirm!?"

He waits for the girls to be down the stairs before he draws his pistol and takes aim. The burning has slowed, and with as much buckshot is in the bastard, he should be dead. But Wayne follows his training anyway. He takes aim, and fires three shots in a row. The first lands next to Vecna's head, and he sees the body startle, but the next two land true, and there's no movement after that.

The girls appear soon after and he watches as Nancy pulls his matching pistol out with no hesitation and doesn't even flinch as she fires point blank.

Well, he's certainly dead now.

Wayne joins them shortly. Vecna's dead, for sure, but the girls hesitate. "What's wrong?"

"It always comes back," Nancy says, "I just. What if it's not done? What if Vecna wasn't the source? If there is something worse out there? What if he's just faking it?"

"Whoa," Robin says, placing a hand on Nancy's arm slowly, both girls tracking the movement, like Nancy's a wild animal. "I am the one who freaks out like this, so you can't be doing that, because then what will I do?"

That gets a laugh out of Nancy. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

"What'll make you feel better about this situation?" Wayne asks.

"I don't... How do we know he's dead?" Nancy replies.

"Well, he's a man, ain't he? Magic or not, ain't no man survivin' what we just did to him."

"Sure, he was a guy once but now he's. Look at him!" Robin flaps a hand in the direction of the body without looking at it.

Wayne does look down at him. He doesn't much resemble any person Wayne's used to seeing, but he's distinctly human. Still, the girl's going to worry. "Right. Well, someone give me a hatchet. I'll remove his head."

Robin reaches for her hatchet, the one Steve gave her, but something predatory reflects in Nancy's eyes and she reaches for the hatchet first.

"I'll do it," Wayne says, "you shouldn't have to. You already killed 'im."

Nancy just looks at him. The girl looking back isn't a girl anymore. She looks as hardened and haunted as any other vet he knows. "I got this."

Wayne reaches for Robin instead, pulling her into him so she doesn't watch. He does, though. Watches as Nancy raises the hatchet up and brings it down on Vecna's skull with a scream filled with grief and anguish and repeats that process again and again and again.

The ambulance doesn't have room for all of them, so Lucas, and Max shuffle into the back of Chief Powell's police car. Erica climbs into the ambulance with Gareth in it. Lucas doesn't know what Gareth did to earn Erica's loyalty and worry in such a short amount of time but he also isn't thinking too hard about it.

Chief Powell follows the ambulances to the hospital. Ambulances because there is one for Gareth, and one for Jason Carver.

Jason. Who had shown up with a gun and pointed it at him. Gareth, who'd taken that shot instead and-

"Hey," Max says in a whisper, squeezing his hand hard, pulling him from his own mind. "Hey. They said you did good. That you bought Gareth time. Like... like, hopefully, we did. For..."

"We had to of. It can't be for nothing," Lucas whispers back.

They arrive at the hospital, where Erica and Max are given a look over, since Erica was tackled by a boy twice her size and Max was limping down the stairs after the paramedics. Erica has a scrape on her arm where she landed on a rock, and Max's ankle is sprained, but otherwise they're fine.

They get shuffled into the waiting room, where Chief Powell stands guard while their parents are on the way to collect them. They do get left to themselves, so they brave talking in public.

"El was there," Max confesses, voice low. "She found me and was fighting him. I don't know if she got to finish him. Or if they did."

"I don't like not knowing," Lucas says.

"They had help," Erica says, causing Max and Lucas to whip their heads to her. "I followed Gareth to the payphone. He wasn't calling his mom. He called Eddie's uncle instead. Said he could help them."

"He what?"

"Shhh!" Erica shushes him, looking around the empty waiting room before leveling a glare at him. "I know, okay. But Steve's not a real adult and we needed a real adult."

"Steve's a real adult."

"Sure," Erica agrees, using the tone that Lucas knows means she doesn't agree. "He's also the guy that sacrificed himself to the Russians and had to be saved by Dustin and me, and it hasn't even been a full year since then. So, hopefully having a real adult made him not take stupid risks."

"Well, we'll just have to wait to find out," Max says, then adds, "do you think Chief Powell will let me go with you guys when my mom doesn't show up?"

Gareth is released from the hospital into his parent's custody two days after getting shot. He is a little surprised the hospital stay was so short -he was fucking shot- but with no organs hit, Gareth was released after minor surgery to remove the bullet and a full day of monitoring him.

It's been a whirlwind. Police wanting statements, and his parents screaming at the police every time they show up to get those statements, that they're pressing charges on Jason as soon as possible. (Which might not happen, because Jason hasn't woken up yet.) The kids come in and out, and he gets to learn that the only person dead in the Upside Down is Vecna. Robin looks very haunted as she says it, but he can imagine that killing a telekinetic wizard is a haunting ordeal.

Steve makes an appearance at his beside and lies to his parents, claims he was out of town and got back to hear the messages on the machine too late for Chrissy's funeral but just in time to hear about Gareth getting shot. Gareth lets him have the lie. How can he explain to his parents that Steve wasn't at the funeral because he was too busy hunting down Chrissy's real killer?

Before he leaves, he asks if Gareth wants to come over, once he's well enough to.

It takes Gareth three more days from his hospital release before his parents agree to drop him off at Steve's. They're worried for both him and Steve. They know there's been a rift in their friendship, and his mom sniffles when she says she's so sad that it took Chrissy's death to reunite them again.

He's not going to say it out loud, but Gareth's sad about it, too.

His dad doesn't walk him to the front door but it's a near thing. He does sit in the driveway until Steve answers the door and gives him a wave. Even then, Gareth doesn't hear the car leaving until he's beyond the threshold of Steve's house.

Steve lets him sit on the couch before apologies and explanations start pouring from him.

"Gareth, I'm so fucking sorry. For everything. For pulling away, and staying away, and also for ever agreeing to act like we weren't cousins to begin with. I should-"

"Steve, shut the fuck up."

And Steve does. Blinks at him, surprised.

"I don't care. None of that matters. You were- fuck, how long have you known about this? About monsters and shit?"

"Since, uh, since '83. With Will Byers and Ba-Barb Holland... They weren't just missing."

"Was that... related to the other dimension?"

"Yeah. A demogorgon took 'em. Will got away. Barb didn't."

"And it's been like... a yearly thing?"

"Yeah. I didn't want you or Chrissy involved, and look what good that did."

"Dude, I'm involved because of Eddie. I didn't go looking for you."

"Chrissy's dead because of me!" Steve shouts, "I pulled away! And we- I tried to reconnect and it wasn't enough. Chrissy was struggling and she didn't tell me."

"She didn't tell me, either," Gareth says, voice quiet and even. "Is it my fault she's dead, too?"

"What? No, of course not."

"We reconnected. Last year," Gareth confesses. "Hung out every weekend until she got with Jason. Then it was less, once a month about. But we talked, were friendly. And she didn't tell me what was bothering her. It's not your fault any more than mine."

Steve's pinched face says how much he wants to argue, and because he's Steve, he opens his mouth and argues verbally, too, "I knew about the Upside Down! I should have told you guys. Warned you about it!"

"Dustin said you guys didn't know Vecna existed until this year. What would you have warned about? The Demogorgon I've heard about but never saw?"

"Well, they were in Russia this time, apparently, so-"

"What do you mean they were in Russia!?"

"Oh, uh, not important right now. But. I just..." Steve huffs and deflates against the couch. "I thought I was doing the right thing. For you, and for Chrissy. By keeping you at arm's length. Pretending I didn't know either of you. And then it wasn't pretend! I don't know you, not anymore. But I... You got hurt anyway. And- and Vecna had said- Fuck!"

Gareth blinks at him. "Hey. You did your best. We were safe for years, and it's. This situation is shit, and fuck, we'll miss Chrissy the rest of our lives, but she'd want us to keep living, right? Even if you think you didn't know her anymore, you have to know that. So, fuck whatever Vecna told you in your head. Whatever it was, it's not true."

And that. That makes Steve sob. A full, loud, choked noise before he curls in on himself, shaking his head. "It is true. He said- he made all of you say- and it's true but the truth is-isn't e-even the worst of it."

Gareth scooches down the couch to rub awkwardly on Steve's back. "Um. It's. He lies, right? Twists things in your mind to make them worse. That's what Max said wh-"

The mention of Max brings out a whole other sad, wailing noise from Steve and Gareth is not equipped to handle this. He needs Robin. Or Dustin. "Hey, hey. It's okay. Shhh. Shhhh..."

He keeps shh-ing until Steve's sad noises gives way to a hiccuping laugh.

"You're shit at this comfort thing," Steve says.

Gareth snatches his hand back, offended. "Well, fuck you, too."

Steve looks at him, eyes red but otherwise looking like regular, snarky Steve. "Hey. Are we... okay?"

"Man, I forgave everything when Vecna was giving you that shit vision, or whatever. Nancy told me it was Vecna's curse and I just. I thought you were gonna die. All the anger left. I thought it might come back but I'm still just glad you're alive. So, yeah. We're okay. Friends again?"

Steve nods, smile a little watery. "Alright. Then, can I tell you a secret? I haven't even told Robin yet."

"Shit, dude, spill. I love secrets."

"I- I think I like guys, the same as girls."

"Good for you man," Gareth says easily.

Steve looks at him like he's surprised. "That's it? Your- it's okay? That I do?"

"I'm not the police of you," Gareth scoffs, "whatever makes you happy, dude."

"Cool. Cool," Steve nods to himself, then looks at the time on the clock. "Oh, shit. We're late."

"Late? To what?" Gareth asks.

"Well, just to going to the basement. But it's an important basement trip, so come on."

"Are you going to murder me now that I know your deepest secret?"

"I will if you keep talking about it," Steve says as he stands from the couch, heading towards the door to the basement. "Seriously. The surprise down there involves people so you cannot say shit once I open this door."

"Got it. Wait. People!?"

The surprise, it turns out, is Eddie and Wayne. Eddie, still wanted while someone works on clearing his name, has been hiding here with Steve apparently, and Wayne comes and goes, but is here to thank Gareth for calling him. Wayne seems to be under the impression that if Gareth hadn't, he would have lost Eddie forever.

Steve is avoiding Max. Hopper has come back from the dead. The Hopper-Byers have moved back to Hawkins. Eddie has been cleared of all charges thanks to government intervention and many eye-witnesses putting Jason Carver at the scene of all crimes (does not help that the police found him holding Patrick's body, nor that he can dispute the chargers, what with being brain-dead, possibly. Still comatose for sure). Wayne and Eddie have moved into a little duplex near the Hendersons.

All these things happened before Steve spoke with Max.

He'd still be avoiding her if it wasn't her on his doorstep currently, two months post-Vecna. He was expecting Dustin when he pulled the door open in annoyance. "Max."

"Steve."

"I-what-why are- do you want to come in?" Steve asks, wincing at himself.

Max rolls her eyes. "No. I just have something to say to you before I head to El's."

"Ah."

"I forgive you. But I'm still..." Max pauses, breathing harshly through her nose as if mad at the situation. Or Steve. That would be fair. "I'm still hurt, but I get it, so I forgive you."

Steve swallows. "He told you. Didn't he?"

"Vecna? Yeah. Said he asked you to pick, and you picked me," Max says it, so matter of fact. The grass is green. Sky is blue. Steve would rather Max die than Gareth.

"You shouldn't forgive me until I apologize."

"No, don't think I want to hear it. 'Cause here's the thing, Steve. I get it. Billy was awful, and I hated him, hate him so fucking much. But if he were still alive? If he were, and Vecna said him or you. I'd give you to Vecna. And it's fucked up, hell, it's worse than the choice you were given! At least Gareth is worth having a life, getting to live, and Billy's not but. Like I said. I get it."

Steve is stunned to silence. He doesn't know what to say, or if there's anything he can say. Doesn't really have it in him to call her on all her cussing either, because if any kid has earned swearing around him, it's Max. "Max. I am sor-"

"DON'T!" she shouts, "I'm not ready to hear it yet! I'm hurt, and I- that might take a while to change or whatever. But. I know you. So, I have to tell you that I forgive you. Or, like, I will one day. It was a shit choice to be forced to make. I get it. So, just take the forgiveness and quit avoiding me while walking around like a kicked puppy. It's unbecoming and I'm never going to really forgive you if you avoid me."

"Ok. Alright. No more avoiding."

"Good. You still got that letter I wrote you?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Do you... want it back?"

"No. I want you to read it after I've actually forgiven you, and not a second sooner. Okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, okay."

"Good," and she turns on heel and heads down the drive to a car Steve doesn't recognize, and realizes it's because he's never seen it. The driver is Max's mom, and she gives a small wave to Steve when they make eye contact. At least until Max bats her mom's hand out of the air and then must say something that makes her mom laugh.

Steve stands in his doorway and watches them drive away.

Max is hurt, and that's his fault. But she's not mad at him, so that's great. Max is a woman of her word, so Steve thinks that one day, they might be good again. One day, he'll be able to look her in the eye and not feel like the scum on the earth.

Until then, he'll be okay. Gareth's back in his life, he has a new crushfriend in Eddie Munson, and Robin and he have been gotten even closer since he told her he likes boys, specifically one boy at least.

Chrissy is gone, and Steve will always mourn that. Will probably always feel like it's his fault, deep down. But he's got reasons to make it to each new day, and that has to count for something.

#steve‚ gareth‚ and chrissy are cousins au #my fic #nancy gets to be a little feral. as a treat #whew! what a fun little fic to explore #pre steddie #because i couldnt make it be established here but just know that it happens eventually #i dont know the process for caring for bullet wounds so like dont come for me. i did four full seconds of googling isnt that enough?

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itwasthereaminuteago · 2 years

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|| 25. Sex Pollen ||

KINKTOBER MASTERLIST

Matt Murdock x Frank Castle X female reader

Warnings: male masturbation, p in v, oral (male receiving, female receiving, and m/m), creampie, cum eating.

Author's note: this is just ridiculous 🤣 dedicated to @idrinkcoffeeandobsess thank you for the idea!

You're pulled into the back of Frank's van by the scruff of your jacket, clouds of reddish smoke swirling around you. "What the hell was that? Tear gas or something? Shit, eugh it tastes awful!"

Frank has his hands wrapped around your arms, looking you up and down. "Definitely not tear gas. You'd fuckin' know if it was. You alright though?"

You cough again and nod, "I'm fine, just need some water, or maybe something stronger at this rate. Did you see where they went?"

Frank shakes his head. "Couldn't see fuckin' shit out there. Red? You okay? You look like shit man."

Matt's curled up against the inside of the van, head tilted down between his knees. His hair is all ruffled and sweaty from his mask and you notice his breathing is shallow and fast.

"Matt?" You reach to touch his arm and get knocked back away from him as he scrabbles to get away from you.

He steadies himself in the corner. "Shit, I'm sorry! Please just don't, please don't touch me… I need to, need to get home."

You move back as Frank crawls into the front cab behind the wheel and starts it up.

"Okay, we're on our way. It's alright." You clear your throat again, suddenly feeling warm.

"D'you think it was some kind of pepper spray? I mean, it's not painful but I feel really hot, do you guys feel that too?"

Frank pulls at his collar. "Yeah, a bit. Figured it was just all the runnin' from those fucks."

Matt's pulling off his gloves like they're burning him. His forehead is beaded with sweat and he's shifting about uncomfortably, clawing at his suit. "Hurry up Frank, I can't stand it in here."

The three of you enter Matt's apartment via the fire escape and the roof so you don't draw any unwanted attention from the neighbours. Leather, kevlar and blood aren't the most subtle of fashions. Matt hurries awkwardly down the stairs and into his bedroom, almost ripping the door off its rollers.

You and Frank gulp down some water and you pull off your jacket before you sit on the couch. It was so fucking hot.

“No! Y-you both need to leave. Now.”

"D’ya think I should go check on him?” You start to rise but then you hear Matt’s voice, unsure and apprehensive in its tone.

“Matt, what’s wrong, did you get hit?” You pull open the door of the bedroom a little way. There’s a trail of his clothing strewn on the floor leading to the bed where he’s sat in his boxers on the opposite side facing away from you. He’s still breathing hard, his arm is trembling but you can’t see why.

“Matt, what are you-”

“Fuck! I told you to go- you can’t be here, your scent is too fucking strong, the stuff we were hit with- it’s- oh god…”

You watch open mouthed, suddenly feeling extremely heated as he leans back on the bed, and you can see his hand fisting over his cock rapidly. The dampness between your thighs suddenly increases tenfold and Matt chokes out a moan as he locks on to your scent.

“Oh…”

“Great. Fucking great.” You hear the grumble from behind you. “Been hit by a fuckin’ sex grenade.” Frank announces.

You turn towards him, suddenly very aware of just how good he smells up close, but you can't believe what the words that are coming out of his mouth. “A WHAT?! What the fuck are you actually serious? What the hell is going on?”

Matt's voice turns low. "I told you… get out, I'll- I'm gonna deal with this. Fuck! Just go!"

“Sorry Red, no-ones goin' anywhere right now. Gotta fuck it out of our system, it’s the only way. Doin' it on yer own ain't gonna work, believe me.” He starts pulling his sweat-damp shirt off over his head.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me? I don’t even… is this a real thing?" You can't believe what you're seeing, or feeling, as both Matt and Frank are looking so very delicious to you right now that your underwear is drenched to a ridiculous degree.

"Shit. How do- how the fuck do we do this?"

Frank comes up closer behind you. "Guess you're past the point of embarrassment now sweetheart, huh?" he says, helping you with your vest that you had already started peeling off.

You turn around to face him, his eyes are deep black pools that you want to dive into. And those fucking lips have no right being anywhere else but on your pussy right now.

"You've been through this before?!" you ask him, still slightly incredulous as you feel his heated gaze.

He nods, the fingers of his incredibly large hands ghosting down the side of your neck and you can't stop yourself from leaning into his touch.

"Yeah," he swallows, his eyes roving over every bit of you with a deep hunger. "The effects can only be counteracted by a different source of DNA. You can't get yourself off, has to be someone else…"

Your realise your hands are sliding down his chest, bumping over his ridged abs and vee-line towards the waistband of his black jeans, but Frank stops you with a seemingly herculean effort.

"Nah, not yet. Take care of him first," he nods at Matt who is panting heavily and whining. "he's gonna be feelin' it worst of all."

You strip off your pants, boots and underwear, crawling across the bed towards Matt. He reaches for you desperately, pulling you over him, immediately grinding against himself against your core.

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I can't stop… please, please will you… fuck you smell so fucking good-"

"I- I, I'm on birth control but do you have any-"

Frank grunts, stalking towards the bed with an extremely obvious bulge in his pants.

"Won't work sweetheart, DNA remember? Gotta be au naturel."

You nod slowly. "Fuck… okay, okay…"

"I'm clean, I'm- oh god-" Matt's quick reassurance is enough to have you taking his angry looking cock in your hand and slowly sinking down on him. His hands jump to grip onto your hips, he's practically vibrating under you, holding himself back, waiting for your permission.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry-"

"Matt," you hush him, even though you're similarly overwhelmed by the intense sensation. "you don't need to apologise, it's okay, none of this is our fault. Let me help you."

He fills you so deliciously, throbbing inside you. When you slowly start to move he groans, digging his fingers into your flesh as the fog begins to clear and he can see you laying out a path to his release.

The hot desperate itch you're feeling is being scratched so fucking good you can't help moaning aloud, your head snapping up as Frank's hand comes to the side of your face, his other palming his cock through his pants. You paw at his belt, looking up at him with wide eyes as he starts to unbuckle it, watching you ride the Devil of Hell's Kitchen.

Matt's hand curls around the back of your neck, pulling you down to press against his body, lips brushing the shell of your ear.

"Y'feel amazing," he murmurs, relaxed now, his hips now undulating up to meet yours in increasingly powerful thrusts.

Frank moves onto the bed above Matt, knees either side of his head. His fingers stroking gently down your spine gets your attention, his cock bobs inches away from your mouth, dripping precum. Your mouth drops open almost automatically and he groans deep as you move forward, swirling your tongue around his glistening tip before you take hold of his shaft and wrap your lips around him.

"Holy fucking shit." Frank's eyes start to close as the hot wet feel of your mouth is everything he's been needing since the street. He snaps them open again as he can't not watch. Your tongue teases around the head of his aching cock while you're still fucking yourself on Red, the whole scene makes him twitch and leak. You moan as you take him deeper into your mouth, stroking what you can't fit in, and he feels it right through him. Matt guides your hips so you don't have to think, too wrapped up in the tight, velvety heat of you to worry about Frank being so close, his musky scent filling his head.

You whimper as Matt picks up his pace, fucking you hard and fast, chasing his end. You feel his rough fingertips graze over your swollen bud and you groan around Frank's cock. He starts moving his hips, fucking your face and somehow it's all you need.

"Fuck baby, if I'm honest, I didn't need to be hit by that stuff to want this from you."

You pull your lips off him for a second to reply, "neither did I."

"How about you, altar boy?" Frank grills.

Matt feels up your tits as he continues to rut into you. "I want you… both." he confesses, gaining enough clarity to bring his thumb to rub over your clit as he fucks you so hard and fast you can't respond, so hard that-

"Fuck, fuck I'm gonna cum."

Matt groans in relief, hips stuttering wildly as you can almost feel him painting the inside of you as you reach your orgasm simultaneously.

He winces slightly as you climb off and pull Frank down onto the bed.

"Yeah..." He's staring, watching the cum drip down your inner thigh and can't hold back any longer, hauling you up to sit with your legs either side of his head so he can lick it up.

"Oh… oh shit," you moan as he works his mouth over you, fucking you with his tongue. Frank echoes your sentiments with a deep groan feeling him jerk under you as Matt climbs over him taking his thick cock into his mouth to suck.

Frank's got no qualms now, taking whatever you and the devil want to give him. And whatever magic Matt works with his lips, tongue and hands is translated right through from Frank's mouth to your pussy, and you're high as a kite on it. The three of you are a writhing mess of unbridled lust, easily working each other closer to purging the effects of the sex pollen.

And after it's worn off?

You don't think any of you could stop if you tried.

#kinkwasthereaminuteago #matt murdock x frank castle x reader #matt murdock x female reader #frank castle x female reader #daredevil x female reader #the punisher x female reader #daredevil smut #the punisher smut

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syncopein3d · 22 days

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I don't know if this 100% falls under whump, or if it's just asexual somnophilia, but I love various types of guards being nonlethally taken down by sneaky figures in black. I'm going to describe two scenarios, one male and one female, and the male one is first because I know some of you are uncomfortable with female whumpees.

A dude's just strolling through the museum, thinking about his midnight lunch break, when there's a sudden sting in the side of his neck and he grabs at it only to come away with a red-fletched metal dart in his hand.*

He makes some kind of confused remark ("The Hell - ?") and grabs for his radio, but it slips out of fingers that suddenly feel fat and uncooperative. An arm slides around his waist as his knees give, and then the blast of euphoria hits his brain and everything feels great. He gapes at a blurry figure above him, heavy-eyed, as he starts to float.

"Everything is all right," a gentle voice tells him. "You can go to sleep."

He doesn't remember why anything would be wrong with that. He doesn't even remember to fight it. He slides off into a warm, happy dream as his entire body goes limp.

Another guard is patrolling some warehouse full of crates whose contents she knows nothing about when something clatters off to her left. She spins toward it, drawing her weapon, only to realize there's a canister spewing white smoke rolling toward her feet. She holds her breath as she turns to try and get out of range, then twitches and gasps at another noise from directly in front of her. It's another canister, and she's just taken a deep breath of something that burns slightly and smells like chemical roses.

She janks right and runs between the tall shelves, but her entire body feels heavy and odd. She realizes she forgot to try and hold her breath again. She can see the roses now, hovering all around like a magic thicket. Something hits her right side, and she realizes it's the shelf. Where'd the weapon go? She must have lost it in the thicket. The smell of roses is so strong and she feels so tired, suddenly. Something bumps into her knee. It's the floor. She fumbles at the shelving, but it's like she's being pulled toward the center of the earth, like gravity is so much stronger than before.

She slides over sideways. A hand catches her so she doesn't bang her head, lowering her to the floor. There's something dark above her, but she can't see it clearly.

"Thanks," she mumbles.

"You're welcome, dear. Shh, now." A hand strokes her hair. It feels lovely, lights up her whole head and spine like a rainbow with soft, sleepy tingling. She stretches her legs and shivers involuntarily, overpowered by the feeling, and as it fades, she fades with it. She's never slept as well as she will on that concrete floor tonight.

*There are no human trank darts irl. There's no consistent way to administer a correct dosage, and basically no substances knock a person all the way out for long without paralyzing breathing. With animals this is less of a concern because they don't have to be unconscious, just too groggy to resist being tagged, medicated, loaded into a truck, etc. And real trank darts are a very specific design that looks like an awkwardly long syringe to accommodate the rocker membrane that does the injection on contact. But I am willing to suspend disbelief on the fake metal movie dart with the little red feathers, because I like it. I'm willing to just make up fantasy meds.

#noncon drugging #whump #guard whumpee #unconscious whumpee #syncopein3d future reference #hallucination whump #whump loss of consciousness #loss of consciousness whump #male whumpee #female whumpee

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lemonflavouredchaos · 1 year

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Pretty Girl

Aka - Y/N is insecure about her body and Eddie decides to show her exactly how much of a pretty girl she is.

Eddie Munson could fill books, many books, with the things he doesn't know, but he knows that you look like heaven in a sun dress and sin in nothing but his oversized Metallica T-shirt. One of the things he doesn't know, sadly, is what you look like wearing nothing but skin,

"Hey, Pretty Girl," he murmurs, "what're you thinking?"

"Nothing," you whisper and let a cloud of smoke into the room,

"Sounds like a lie," he draws the word out like a song as he teases the shirt higher up your body, frowning when your hand clamps down to stop it from cresting your stomach, "take it off." He rolls to press his lips to your ear, "please."

"Why?" You ask with a cheeky smile, but your heart is thundering with something like panic, "no panties, Eds, no need."

"Maybe no need," he says and rolls until his elbows are framing your body, "but want. Very much want."

"Eds..." you sigh, but his big brown eyes are like pools, "I just don't like being naked."

"Why," he almost whines, "God I bet you look amazing." You scoff. "Like a goddess."

"Edward."

"Y/N." He meets your gaze with brazen lust and rubs his nose against yours. "Pretty girl, please. I'm on my knees..." He looks down at the mattress. "Figuratively." You laugh and push him off, making your way to the bathroom,

"I'm going to shower,"

"Can I come?"

"In your hand?" You tease,

"In you. In the shower." He rests his chin on his fist and gives you an appreciative look, and you blush, waving your hand as if to brush away the shivering need that's started to take over your mind.

In the steamy shower, you keep your eyes upturned, feeling the soft, textured skin on your stomach and hips. Stretch marks. It's not fair, you think, you're healthy, you do your best to take care of your skin. Moisturize it every night. Every morning, too. It's sensitive, your mother had said when she found you sobbing, she was the same. Men don't mind, she had said. If a few tiger stripes were all you had to worry about, you could consider yourself lucky.

But it didn't make it easier to see girls like perfect Chrissy in low-cut jeans and belly tops showing off their perfect smooth stomachs. You almost don't hear the door opening,

"Eddie!"

"Sorry! Sorry, my eyes are closed, I swear, but you don't have any towels," his eyes are closed, in fact, and he's holding the towel out to the mirror, facing the wrong way entirely, wild hair already curling in the steam. It's endearing, it's sweet. Your lip wobbles,

"Eds," you say and he turns to meet your voice, eyes still closed,

"Princess?" He asked,

"If... what if you don't like me?" You ask and he stays silent,

"I need a little more, honeybunch."

"If you see me... naked. What if you don't like me anymore?" You ask and he scoffs, dropping the towel to press his hands to his hips dramatically,

"Of all the possibilities, that is the least likely. More likely I'll die of a heart attack," he says and wriggles his nose, "or happiness."

"I..." you swallow. Maybe it's the comforting cloak of steam or the way he's standing with his eyes closed, not even asking if he can open them. Or perhaps it's the desire to Know one way or the other. You take the towel as you step out of the shower, holding it in front of you. "Open your eyes," you say and resist the urge to giggle when he pouts,

"Thought I was getting the cookie for a second there," he said and pressed his hand to his forehead with dramatic flair, "alas, the princess is cruel." He stands stock still, letting you sidle around him until you're standing in front of his bed.

When you drop the towel with a panicked giggle, his jaw drops. Eddie stares, just stares until you self-consciously cover your breasts. Then he acts, crossing the space between you in one long stride to grip your wrists,

"No, no, no," he mutters, "don't you dare."

"Eddie," you whimper, but he drags your arms down,

"Fuck..." he mutters and drops to his knees, as if knowing exactly where your worries are concentrated, and kisses your stomach softly, rubbing his face against the skin a few times before he looked up at you with those big, brown eyes, "you are so fucking precious."

It's a strange choice of word - it makes you giggle, but he doesn't even crack a smile,

"I mean it," he whispers, "my pretty girl."

Then his mouth, that clever mouth, goes lower and his big, broad hands grip your hips pulling you close as his tongue pushes between your legs. It's ungrateful, ungainly, and somehow that's hotter; he struggles to get to where he wants to be, dragging one of your legs onto his shoulder to create a precarious balance as his lips close on your clit. For a few seconds, there's only the giddy thrill of the act, how illicit it feels, then your body starts to react and you grip his hair. When you stumble, however, he stands and scoops you up and crosses the few steps to the bed as if you weigh nothing,

"Yeah? This is ok?" He asks, waiting until you gasp a garbled affirmative, and then slides down to kiss your thighs and push two thick fingers into you, curling ever so slightly. Even while he's worshipping your body, you find your hands creeping up to cover what they can. "No." He grunts and bundles you further up the bed, standing only to discard his soft sleep pants. His cock is hard, precum gathered on the head, "don't you dare," he pants, eyes wild. It's hard to believe that it's just the sight of you that's done this to him, but it must be... you whimper when he holds your wrists, then guides your hands to the back of your thighs, "hold these pretty legs open for me." When you do what you're told, he gives a sinful grin. "My good girl." You moan, flushing with pleasure, and his hands wander, cupping your breasts, running down your stomach to grip your hips as he sinks into you.

"God," you gasp,

"Yeah? Feels good?" He licks his lips and starts to thrust into you in steady, deep strokes that set fireworks off behind your eyes,

"Yeah," you gasp and nod,

"You're so fucking pretty," Eddie groans and bites his bottom lip, "can't believe you've been hiding this from me."

"I-ah," your words come out in garbled gasps and whines,

"Hiding this pretty body," he murmurs and his hands slide over your stomach, up to your breasts, "these fucking perfect tits, God I knew you'd look so fucking good-" now he's gasping, words running into each other as you arch your back, chasing the friction as his pubic hair rubs against your clit roughly. The room is filled with wet, soft sounds and the slap of skin on skin.

"Eddie, I need, ah, please," you whimper and move one hand to touch yourself, but he pushes it away, replacing it with his own,

"Shh, it's ok," he manages to gasp, "I'll take care of you pretty girl. Just keep those legs nice and wide." His touch is clumsy, fingers fumbling as his eyes start to close, "fuck."

The vulgar sounds, the feel of his hands, and the way your tits bounce with each thrust... it all comes together to make the sensation of his fingers more powerful. Toes curling, back arching, you find the edge and tip over gently, whimpering and gasping his name like a prayer. Eddie leans over, covering your body with his, and the way he whispers in your ear is sweet and soft and warm. You don't need to understand them to know what he's saying; his hands are tender, his hair tickles your face. It's perfect. When he pulls away, spilling onto your stomach you shiver and sigh, kissing his face and neck softly,

"Thank you," you whisper, and all the possible meanings, all the words you can say, are crammed into those two words. Eddie smiles as he rolls onto his back and drags the sheets over you both,

"No, thank you."

#eddie munson smut #fanfic #stranger things #eddie stranger things #eddie x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson st4 #body worship

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transhawks · 10 months

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So, uh, just reread "chapter"all it takes is one bad day" and does Twice have pure white pupils and irises like AFO supposedly does? Like, I haven't seen any clear official art of his eyes, but in the one back cover of him they look like they're pure white?

At this point I'm just going to have to make an entire essay on how we should be reading Japanese media with an understanding of cultural and class markers. No, Jin does not have the same eyes or similar eyes to AFO. Yes, there's connections with Jin and AFO but that's another topic. 1. AFO's eye color hasn't been really confirmed aside from that one WSJ cover that implies they can be clear and white. 2. That's not what the "something about my eyes rubs people the wrong way" means. This is what I mean about the cultural context being missing from most of us Western-readers and how we just don't get reading the manga with no guide to explain small details to us. I also wish Jin was just popular so I don't feel like I'm the only one in the fandom yammering about the ridiculous amount of depth he has as a character and in his storyline. First off, Jin's eyes are sunken in, his features abnormally "chiseled" and rough for an anime character. By the time we meet him he looks like he's had a hard life but we also find out in flashbacks he always kind of looked like that.

He's unkempt - stubbled, has the sunken eyes and dark eyebags the villains are generally drawn with. He smokes, drinks, wears a wife beater, has no eyebrows, and used to ride a motorcycle. All these things are a red flag. This is where "you really need to be familiar with Japanese media before you read BNHA" comes in, Jin, while drawing from several different Western comic characters (John Constantine, Deadpool, Rorschach), is also neatly fitting into the yanki and bosuzoku (sorta) trope. Or Japanese delinquents. What throws people "off" is the lack of eyebrows. Yanki are traditionally portrayed with no eyebrows. This link here explains that at sight a delinquent can be identified with shaved eyebrows. This is why so many villainous or rough characters are eyebrowless. It's like the Japanese equivalent of giving villains twirly mustaches and goatees - something about the imagery of that already implies villain in our minds, whereas the lack of eyebrows implies delinquent/criminal in the Japanese cultural imagination (in modern day settings. Heian-era eyebrow-lessness is a different story/class marker).

He's also blonde, or "chapatsu" which is also another "Delinquent" trope in Japan - many delinquents in the 70s-90s bleached their hair to this yellow or orange color (hence "cha" which obviously means tea/chai). Japanese schools are infamously awful at allowing for self-expression to the point where naturally brown-haired students can be forced to dye their hair, and chapatsu hair was a marker of a rebellious/delinquent student. Twice isn't the only one who Horikoshi uses this trope for. Tomura, for example, really had the "up to no good" look early on even if I think he's more of a homebody.

You know who else?

Huh, interesting, given Takami's a murderous professional career thief alcoholic. Wait a minute, wasn't Jin was one of the greatest Japanese thieves until his accident, I wonder exactly what Horikoshi meant by making Thief Takami have a similarly unkempt appearance, rough rugged facial features, and barely any brows? Wait -

Something to understand is that we've gotten information from Yoco Akiyama in TUM about how the main manga's design process works and apparently the facial feature consistency is really important for the artists. Thus the fact Keigo's parents were designed with: 1. Rough, sunken features (Thief & Jin) 2. Unkempt facial fair (Thief & JIn) 3. Deep eyebags (Jin & Tomie) 4. Similarly disordered filthy homes (Takami fam & Jin) 5. Beer Bottles lying around everywhere (Takami fam & Jin) 6. Small, beady eyes with little pupils (Takami Fam & Jin) 7. Grey-Blue Eyes (Tomie & Jin) 8. Clear mental instability (Tomie & Jin) Was absolutely intentional. For all that we see Keigo's parents, Horikoshi knowingly designed them to resemble Jin. Again, Jin was Keigo's villain to save. Keigo was Jin's hero. Keigo failed because we needed a character to fail to save "their villain". Both Keigo and Jin have clear working-class background and criminal class markers. These things tie them together, these marginalized identifications make their relationship something that should have worked. If we want an in-universe reason for Keigo's focus on Jin, it's absolutely true he likely (subconciously) saw his parents superficially reflected in Jin, and decided to "save" him because he was unable to save his parents. Of course, that was not only presumptuous, it was also wrong because Jin is not a stand-in for Keigo's parents (and unlike them is a decent person). Anyway, yeah, no Jin's design/looks made him look like a "thug" to people in his community. That's why he had issues and that's what his comment meant. People's biases about people who look like Twice made him just get...away less. If someone "looks like a thug" you will try to make connections that justify that bias. That's why things like his motorcycle accident hurt him so much. He was uneducated, likely a middle-school dropout, fired from a job, had a record and had "bad vibes". Who'd hire him? Can you understand why Jin was doomed into having to survive as a criminal? Society decided he was meant to fail years before he did fail. So much of BNHA is about people falling into traps of pre-determined outcomes. Jin's tragically so.

#why am i always yelling about Jin and his design on here #bnha twice #bubaigawara jin #jin bubaigawara #mha twice #thief takami #ukai tomie #lov #league of villains #bnha #my hero academia #mha #my meta #asks #meta

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deemizer · 10 months

Text

The Selfish and the Selfless

Warnings: adhd and autism talk, typical criminal minds violence possible idk, insecurities? panic attack mentions and one experience, though idk how to describe what i go through since feelings are foreign to me.

Parings: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

A/N: i got high and realized my adhd is worse and better when i'm this relaxed. idk man, i was cleaning and thought of this. i base most of the reader's issues as how i perceive them, though with my (possible autism since i haven't been professionally diagnosed) i don't understand what feelings are happening, like i need an owner's manual to navigate, understand and name each feeling. sorry, long rant, but in my defense, i'm high. idk if virgina has legalized marijuana or not, but let's just pretend the did for the sake of this fic.

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Dating Aaron Hotchner was nice. Great, even. You often had doubts about why he loved you, especially since you started feeling constantly on edge, skin itchy, kinda uncomfortable. You knew why, but you wouldn't risk Aaron finding out. You didn't want to make him decide whether he wants Jack around weed or not, so you stopped smoking to relax just a couple of days before you went on your first date with Aaron. It's been a little over a month (38 days, 23 minutes, and 56, 57, 58 seconds, but who's counting?) and knowing Aaron's career and abilities that come with the job, you figure he knew something was wrong the minute the withdraws starting hitting you.

Not working at the BAU was probably a good thing, as people raising their voice often makes you go into a panic attack. You started working from home, doing a third shift computer job. That way, if Aaron ever needs an emergency babysitter, you're open. You can take him to school, sleep, go pick him up, and have a fun night before bed with the baby Hotchner, then go back to work again.

Jack loved your American Staffordshire Terrier, Layla. She was so gentle with Jack, and like you, she protects Jack like he is her own son. Aaron was weary about Layla given he hadn't been around many bully breed dogs, but the second he walked into the door, Layla chose him as her new person. She still protected you, but he was her favorite. And she typically didn't like men besides your grandfather .

You had had enough, and since you knew Aaron shouldn't be around as he was at work and probably wouldn't be home till well into the night, and Jack was with Jessica today and tomorrow, you took a couple of hits from the Snail battery and the highly potent cartridge. You haven't done so in so long, that even though you had medication that slowed the effect for a good ten minutes, you could already tell the high was going to be good. Layla walked behind you as you walked around the house, randomly moving on from chore to chore without finishing the previous, bopping your head along to the speaker you have for your spotify playlist.

You had given Aaron and Jack a key to your two bedroom house, which is probably why you didn't hear Aaron walk in, nor did you realize that Layla was no longer behind you. Hands wrap around you from behind, and you squeak loudly and flinch slightly as you startle.

"What the- Aaron! You scared the shit outta me!" You pant, forgetting about the hits and the more twitchy you are with a full body and mind relaxation.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Didn't mean to scare... you. What's that smell?" Aaron starts sniffing the air, and you can almost feel your face drain of color.

"Uh, what smell?" You ask, trying to keep your voice even. Attempting to take a step back, though Aaron's grip on your forearms stops you and draws his attention to you.

"What's wrong?" His eyebrows raise slightly in concern, though his frown deepens.

You can start to feel your breath quicken, as though you've been holding your breath for far too long. Your arms start to clench up, and cross to hold your chest. Hands forming a tight, white-knuckle fist, and your shoulders tense up to your ears.

"I uh, I'm sorry," Your voice is weak, and you start to tear up from both panic and embarrassment. This is the last thing you wanted to show him.

"Why are you sorry? Are you," He pauses, eyes working up and down to profile you. "You have autism."

You almost snort, forgetting your panic for a second. ADHD and being high does that to you. "Yeah. I told you on our second date. When we had a movie night at yours with Jack."

"You don't usually react this much. What happened? Are you okay?" His words cause you to sigh. Might as well get this over with.

"I smoke marijuana sometimes, when I'm overly stressed, or need a day to relax, go to sleep. Plus, with ADHD and autism, there's a thing called masking. I've done it for my entire life, without knowing I was masking, and without being able to take off the mask. So when I'm high, it calms my mind enough so that I can't wear the mask, and then in turn get to enjoy in having ADHD and autism, because it feels more natural. I stopped because of you and Jack. I could do without getting high so I didn't risk losing either of you. You mean more than my unmasking. I don't change my personality, other than shy till I know you, type of deal. Just the tics, forgetting words immediately, doing random things." You take a breath, which is shaky. You start to loosen slightly, given the fact that his frown has almost become a thin line. He doesn't seem angry, that of which you could tell.

You keep your hands gripping the opposite shoulder, but most everything else looses tension. He seems to sense the anxiety and relief, because he tries to smile, succeeding in only lifting one corner of his lips.

"Honey, I appreciate the thought of keeping Jack away from it, but that doesn't mean you have to stop feeling comfortable with yourself. I don't really mind, though we can discuss the details later. Is that the reason you've been slightly down lately?" You bite your lips and nod at his question, looking down to your feet that touch Aaron's toes in his work shoes.

"I uh, thought that if you couldn't be with me because of it, I would stop and it wouldn't bother me. I haven't been in a good state of mind, and I didn't really know how you'd react. I can't really judge things like that anyway. I just didn't want to loose the one good thing I feel like I've earned. Being lonely and touch starved really messes with one's mind. Being an introvert doesn't help either." You scratch your neck, kind of nervous to look up.

His hand comes up to your jaw, and you lean into it, the nerves firing with his touch. Being high makes your senses more sensitive.

"I don't mind, if this is what makes you feel happier, and more comfortable." Aaron says, thumb rubbing your cheek softly.

Smiling inro his hand and nuzzling your nose into the heel, you say, "I promise I won't do it all the time. I usually just do it when I'm alone, so I can be free and not bother anyone. I won't ever do it in front of or be around him when I'm high. It's not an escape, just something for the really off days."

"I know, you don't need to worry about that. You're too selfless to worry about yourself when Jack or I are around. I'm just glad to know you do stuff for yourself." He pulls you into a hug, resting his chin on your head, and his arms around your shoulders. His touch feels so relaxing and warm, and you just melt into him.

Thank whatever power above that Aaron fell for you just as you did for him. There's nothing you wouldn't do for your boys. Seems the feeling is mutual.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner blurb #aaron hotchner angst #criminal minds

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