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#I googled his actual name lol
pepperpixel · 11 months
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Some quick lil pics of this guy!!! He is my baby girl… my goofy goober… my terrifying cross dimensional sweetie pie..
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magniloquent-raven · 7 months
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yo, respectfully, i don't understand why some of yall are so worried about jim and olu kissing other people?
we already got "see, we don't own each other" from lucius & pete in s1, the writers seem comfortable writing not-entirely-monogamous relationships. and like. they both clearly still have feelings for each other, i'm sure they'll be fine my dudes
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listenupcupcakes · 29 days
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soldier what is your opinion on mayonnaise
MAYONAISE IS JUST EGGS AND OIL
I CAN MIX EGGS AND OIL MYSELF
IT IS ONLY GOOD WHEN MIXED WITH OTHER CONDIMENTS. LIKE KETCHUP.
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hexjulia · 10 months
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this is... oddly cute? the son of the Persian satrap befriends the king Sparta, who later helps him when he is forced into exile by his brother + makes sure the boy he fell in love with could enter into the competition at Olympia. I also like that he mentions the boy's mother by name (even though it seems she doesn't come into it at all).
With these words he ended the conference. Pharnabazus mounted his horse and rode away, but his son by Parapita, a boy who was still at the most beautiful age, stayed behind and ran up to Agesilaus: ‘I should like you, Agesilaus,’ he said, ‘to become my friend.’ ‘And I,’ said Agesilaus, ‘shall be glad to be your friend.’ ‘Remember, then,’ said the boy, and he immediately gave his javelin, an extremely fine one, to Agesilaus. After accepting it, Agesilaus took from the neck of the horse of his secretary, Idaeus, a magnificent trapping and gave it as a return gift, and the boy leapt on his horse and rode after his father. Later, however, when Pharnabazus was away, the son of Parapita was deprived of his lands by his brother and forced into exile, then Agesilaus gave him all the help he could. Among other things was this. The boy had fallen in love with the son of Eualces, an Athenian, and Agesilaus, for his sake, tried his best to get this Athenian, who was much taller than the boys of his age, allowed to enter for the men’s 200 yards at Olympia.
(transl. Byrex Warner)
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goofyjelly · 2 months
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So it turns out everyone just hopes to God you're failing And if you claim that you eat my words Then take this as a warning Nothing around here fucking works We're just flat-out boring We're all apes with a diary book And corporate reads your pages
- Wilbur Soot, Melatonin 130
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thewritingpossum · 1 month
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Forgot to mention it but there was a huge debate at my study group the other day about wether or not you could call yourself an historian after getting your bachelor degree and two of my favorite profs were defending opposing views and they were trying to keep it light and funny but you could see that they were getting lowkey heated and for a so-called academic I actually don't do that well with conflicts so I was like haaa mom and dad stop arguing!! T_T but anyway, my one german prof that some have called 'intimidating' went to see me me and my buddy who accidentally started the debate earlier (by joking that he was about to graduate and could finally call himself an historian), put his arms around our shoulders and kindly told us that we could call ourselves historians if we want so I guess that was some nice validation lmao
#i'm not even about to graduate right away but i'll take it lmao#i don't care what the world says as long as mr. B agree with me i know i'm in the right#and he's like a real historian if you google his name that's how google define him and he published cool books and all lol#tho to me he will always be the very sweet man who asked me if i needed him to call me an ambulance after i almost passed out in his class#(i was like nooo can you just go get me some water and i'll walk home. he was perplexed but i survived lol)#for some absolutely cursed reason he looks a little bit like ben shapiro on his google picture but oh well that's not his fault lmao#i don't want to actually doxx myself by naming him but i probably will when i graduate or something 'cause he's cool and sweet#btw no i don't think you can be fully qualified as an historian with only a bachelor#but yes i do think that the question is a bit more nuanced and that's pretty much what my nice prof defended#like my druggie early 20's self had some genuine understanding of the middle ages and interesting thesis about Edward II and his bunch!#and many other 'amateurs' have something to bring to the field and we should very much embrace that! i'll that on that hill!!#but my other prof is also super nice and not an elitist asshole btw i'm not even trying to talk shit#he's this stern italian man who always gave me As and then wrote long paragraphs about how i could do much better and i love him lmao#he thought me about medieval poetry and every single one of his classes is a great memory#but yeah he's uptight and european and old-school and tbh i kinda respect that too lol
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drbtinglecannon · 2 years
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I can't believe they made Darius French 😭 🇫🇷
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excusemeaminute · 1 year
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watching a crown of candy so far ((ep 3)) has just been constantly worrying everytime preston does anything he is about to die
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keeps-ache · 9 months
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just remembered that one time i got last-named on the internet and i my brain broke for like 15 seconds while i tried to figure out who they were trying to summon with 'Ache'
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elmorapper · 2 years
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english class assignment
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blue-jisungs · 1 year
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so i had a request but i feel like it's kinda dumb....how would stray kids react to you meeting and getting along with their siblings.
like chan has hannah and lucas, changbin's older sister, han's older brother, felix's sisters racheal and olivia, seungmin's older sister and jeongin and his two brothers
but then it would leave out lee know and hyunjin
soooooooooo
getting along with their siblings/pets ♡
a/n. i’m so sorry you had to wait for so long i remember when you even dmd me about it😭😭😭 i’m so so sorry!! hope you enjoy it though <3
also ywah, i didn’t want to leave out those who don’t have siblings so i just put their pets because well, they are family too <3
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┆彡 CHAN [ 찬 ]
hannah. she’s an icon, she’s an legend and she IS the moment
tbh you just clicked the moment you met and chan knew he’s screwed
because she dragged you to her room and you barely left it because YOU WERE GOSSIPING WITH HER
she told you his embarrassing childhood stories and you swore they almost got into a fight over you (#siblingthings)
but he caught you two filming some tiktoks and his heart melted
like okay she’s his younger sister of course she’s a pain in the ass but he was relieved to see that you’re getting along well
maybe a little too well, even
and hannah likes you to this point that she threatened him that if you ever break up she’s blocking him everywhere??
and when it comes to lucas idrk him
but i feel like he’d get along with you well too
bc you know, to tease his brother as well teehee
but also you’re just so funny like that and he actually likes hanging out with you :”)
┆彡 MINHO [ 민호 ]
he doesn’t have siblings but he has cats 🙏
and he was kind of anxious if they’re going to like you bc then he’d be torn who to choose… you… or cats…
so when you first step into his parents place and dori, soonie and doongie sprinted towards him, he’s frozen
they are slowly sniffing you too, you’re looking at him frightened
then they just go to kitchen bc they’re hungry lol 😭
but once the oldest sniffs you and even sits on your lap, the others accept you as a part of their lil family
and minho is just standing there, heart jumping out of his chest and he’s this close 🤏 from running to grab a camera
bc he’s just so in love :(
however you stumbled upon some relationship problems with soonie 💔
worry not! minho is here to get you two on friendly terms again💪
will show you where are his fav petting spots and will even let you feed him extra feeds
he wants you to be friends again, okay? he can bend some feeding rules for such critical situations
spoiler alert: you are on good terms with soonie after this (minho teases that it’s the extra snacks but deep down he believes that soonie knows how important you are to him)
┆彡 CHANGBIN [ 창빈 ]
bare with me because i don’t know NOTHING about his sister, even her name 💀
but i feel like changbin would be kinda anxious. will she like you? will you like her?
he just knows this and that about girls’ friendships and he really hopes you two will get along well
esp that she’s older
turns out you get along well. too well.
teasing changbin really made it easier for you two
he’d be like “how are my two fav people in the world doing–?”
“sup gimli”
and he doesn’t even question how you came up with that since currently you and his sister are rolling on the floor rn
but he’d really melt if he saw you napping together on a couch after an all nighter…
…or whenever he’d catch his sister pulling a blanket over you when you fall asleep on your desk bc you were studying all night :(
(even though he teases her later about it bc it’s “his job as your bf”)
┆彡 HYUNJIN [ 현진 ]
another siblingless person but he’s a dad at least!!?
same story as lino’s🤓
he’d really want kkami to like you :(
he’d look up in google something like “wiki how to make my dog like my gf”
🧍‍♀️
tbh kkami loved you the second you walked in
hyunjin walked into the room and went “aww give me a kiss i missed you sm!!”
but kkami ran straight to you, sniffling all over and waving his tail
hyunjin let out a dramatic gasp as he licked all over your face, tail swooshing like crazy
you bet he will be all pouty when kkami crawls up and cuddles or naps in your lap, not his
but honestly he’s glad he likes you :”)
he sometimes has troubles falling asleep when you’re laying in bed together and kkami is sleeping in between your legs… BCS ITS SO DAMM CUTE AND DOMESTIC AND HE WANTS TO BITE HIS FIST TO PREVENT HIMSELF FROM SCREAMING!!!
┆彡 JISUNG [ 지성 ]
another one that we don’t know much of
anxious pt 2
he’s scared 1) if he’s gonna like you 2) if you’re going to like him 3) if he’s not gonna act weird
and well, honestly speaking your beginnings weren’t too… joyful
it was awkward as hell
han wanted to run away
but then you were like “uh so i heard you were the reason why han stopped believing in santa–?”
and boom
suddenly you know more about jisung thank you thought you did
for example (now hold your breath i am being dead serious) you got to see with your own eyes. one of the last evidence. relicts even. that han jisung is not, in fact, an alien that spawned at the age of 13.
mhm, that’s right.
his brother had a picture of baby han and you just laughed your ass off because how silly he looked
and han, who was standing literally next to you, was just 🧍‍♀️
anyways jisung kind of regretted introducing you to him anyways
┆彡 YONGBOK [ 용복 ]
i’m… how do i say this…
felix honestly knew that his sisters will like you. duh, love you
so it was just a matter of meeting them
but he did not expect them to just… kind of act like you knew each other since birth
(the truth was olivia reached to you through tiktok and then created a gc with you and rachel… like three years before you actually met in australia)
(AND felix did not know shit about it)
so you can just imagine how flabbergasted he was when the girls saw you and literally flew to hug you
“olivia, rachel this is–“
“we know, now go away we have an urgent matter to discuss” his younger sister shooed him away, leaving felix speechless as you giggled and waved at him
mans didn’t see you for DAYS like :”) they kinda kidnapped you and you spent time with them and lemme tell you… it was so fun 😭
“i’m kinda jealous… give me y/n back?!” felix laughed once, grabbing your left wrist
“no, she’s ours!! 🥹” rachel huffed grabbing your right wrist
good luck solving that.
┆彡 SEUNGMIN [ 승민 ]
tbh he doesn’t care?? like he’s aware that some people tend to like each other, some not
so it would be natural if you didn’t get along with his sis, he’d understand that
but - unfortunately for him - you did get along
okay it was a bit awkward at first
she’s like “what’s your interest in my brother 😐”
and while you’re SWEATING trying to explain you’re his gf and just madly in love and just simply explaining how you have no bad intentions
seungmin is loving it, laughing his ass off
bug then suddenly his sister is like
“if he ever makes you cry just call me, okay? i’ll take care of him ☺️☺️☺️”
oh how the turn tables, now you’re the one laughing
his sister would be really kind and love to hang out with you
“you’re like the younger sibling i never had!” once was what she said and seungmo just deadpanned, glaring daggers at u
also his sis would demand random selfies of you two and then send one of her back, it became your little habit
she’ll sometimes still act cold to keep her “older sis” posture but she really has a soft spot for you
┆彡 JEONGIN [ 정인 ]
good luck, that’s all i’m gonna say
he has two brothers.
prepare for chaos because they are SO hyped he has a gf
and it’s their goal to embarrass the shit out of him
so jeongin brings you to a family dinner, it’s all fun until his younger brother offers you go on a walk with them
and i.n is just??
the second his parents aren’t in sight anymore, they bombard you with questions and fun facts abt him
“he snores so loudly doesn’t he?” “did you know he leaves his dirty clothes on the floor? like all the time?” “i bet he picks his nose when you don’t look–“
ans jeongin is just jumping at them like!??!
but you reassure them he’s actually not that bad 🙄
and later on when you come back from the walk, you’re playing mario kart and just having fun time
and your boyfriend just sits there like 😄 because he’s so happy they liked you
and oh boy, they treat you like you’re their BRO
that pisses him off a bit like 🙄
“have some respect for my gf” “she’s literally one of us what do you mean”
and you’re just there, having an all nighter with all of them while having games
they feel comfortable with you and that’s what makes jeongin forgive the…. uncultured behaviour… 👍
(“stop burping there’s a lady!” “lady my ass, i’m better than you at fifa–!”)
[ masterlist <3 ]
taglist. @geniejunn ,, @luvhyun3 ,, @starlostseungmin ,, @elviransworld ,, @jnks6r ,, @sieunsgf ,, @ethereallino ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @duolingofanaccount ,, @slytherinhobi ,, @jung0ne ,, @ka-ni-ma ,, @iliveforlixie ,, @moonacholy ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @mark-geolli ,, @l3visbby ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ddenoudepression ,, @yourfavoritefreakyhan ,, @cinnamoroxie ,, @gyudiarys
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astonmartinii · 1 year
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babysitter duty | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x reader
an emergency meeting at red bull means max finally meets the horner family babysitter and chaos ensues
note: i will obviously not be using christian's real kids in this, this is a work of fiction. there will be no real pictures of his kids, neither will i use their real names (i actually have no clue what they are and cannot be bothered to google it lol)
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yourusername added to their story
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[caption: when all the big businessmen crash baking night]
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yourusername
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liked by yourbff and others
tagged: yourbff
yourusername: last weekend before the eff won starts again i.e. my last weekend before my only friends are literal children
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yourbff bring the kids out me thinks
yourusername my boss literally follows this account dumbass
christianhorner do not take my children clubbing
yourusername YES SIR 🫡
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, christianhorner and 223 others
yourusername: wasn't raining in oxford for once so a picnic was only necessary
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yourbff they're so so precious
christianhorner who taught her that sign?
yourusername you did??? stop swearing so much in drive to survive sir
maxverstappen1 she's not wrong
christianhorner why are you here?
maxverstappen1
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liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 601,778 others
maxverstappen1 best way to start the season and to end a ten year drought in Bahrain!! thank you to everyone in the garage and all the fans in the stands
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yourusername smashed it maxy
maxverstappen1 why thank you i'm blushing
user67 what. the. fuck. is that ^^^
themaxverstappenstan33 i am actually bamboozled
danielricciardo ignoring whatever meltdown is happening in these comments - congrats max !!
yourusername added to their story
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[caption: school run days]
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maxverstappen1 added to their story
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f1wagsupdates
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liked by f1girly77, likedbypierre and 77 others
f1wagsupdates this is y/n y/ln, she's a live-in babysitter for christian horner and more recently, she seems to be the one catching max verstappen's attention. as far as we know they first met after the top officials at red bull met for an emergency meeting at christian horner's home - we know she was present because she posted on her story with one of the kids baking during the meeting. since then she has been commenting on his posts and max posted a picture of him with a girl on his story in an outfit y/n has posted in before. do you think they're cute?
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yourusername someone fancies themselves a detective
user34 oof she gagged yall
hugsforcharles tbf she has a point, you guys are digging way too into all of it
lilacverstappen i know this is a gross invasion of privacy but i kinda think they're cute
user33 you're not wrong
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maxverstappen1
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liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 1,206,781 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1 fuck u sherlock holmes i'll decide when i announce my relationship ... anyhow, you're cute, sorry christian but you're going to have to find a new babysitter
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yourusername I LOVE YOU MAXY but i love those kids more so looks like you're movign to oxford
maxverstappen1 i never agreed to that
yourusername say goodbye to the tax free life and say hello to crayons and picnics
christianhorner you'll have three very angry kids to deal with max, but aside from that, i'm very happy for the both of you
yourusername love you bossman
maxverstappen1 love you bossman
danielricciardo this is not usually how this plot line ends
landonorris STOP RIGHT THERE OLD MAN THIS IS A WHOLESOME POST
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, christianhorner and 22,301 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername add max moving into christian's house to ur f1 bingo cards - you can't take me away from these kids, they're kinda my only friends
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maxverstappen1 i've been here one day and i'm convinced @christianhorner ur kids are evil geniuses
yourusername obvs they are maxy, they're salty spice's kids
user46 omg she calls him salty spice as well
christianhorner don't make me regret giving you a room near mine
yourusername GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER CHRISTIAN... maybe invest in some ear plugs ;)
christianhorner consider this your eviction notice
note: bit of a random one lol but i had fun. i know people don't like christian (for good reason) but he's the one it worked with. ALSO my asks are open now !!! so ask away xx
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scarletwoods · 2 years
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papa johns should add "better people" to their slogan just to piss off john schnatter
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certainlynotasimp · 11 months
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Okay, first of all, how are you? Hope you’re doing well! Drink plenty of water, stay hydrated- Second off, your Sunny fics? *chef’s kiss* so mainly, what if anybody made Sunny cry and Miguel had to find out about it? And Sunny’s trying not to make it seem like a big deal in order to keep Miguel from, you know, absolutely obliterating anyone.
Come on, Baby, Cry.
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((Miguel O' Hara X Female! Reader))
A/N: Oh my goodness, thank you so much for the compliment. All my readers? *Extra chef's kisses* I am very hydrated and I got so excited to write this for you and to add some angsty content lol. I hope you enjoy this and let me know if you are disappointed or if you love it.
A/N: I also wanna address two things before I post this too. 1) thank you so much to the anon who asked me to include translations for the Spanish phrases as I was honestly not thinking about doing that. I will do better to include the translations at the end of the fics. 2) There are gonna be some triggering topics explored in this one-shot so if you don't want to hear about near injuries to children or child loss, then I understand if you don't want to read it. Feel free to enjoy my other fanfics and here's the post where you can stay notified on happier Sunny and Miggy fanfics.
Warnings: Grumpy x Sunshine, Barely using (Y/N) ((Sunny is just their nickname, not their actual name.)), Female pronouns, PTSD, Mentions of Child Loss, Endangerment of a Child ((No children were actually hurt, just traumatized)), Trauma, Comforting, Fluff, Angry Miguel, and Google Translate Spanish.
The room fills with squeals and giggles as the chase between the chubby toddler and the jumping spider. Mayday swings her little self around the corridor as the young woman follows behind amused by how agile the little tyke was. 
‘Maybe she’ll make a good sidekick in the future.’ The smiling woman muses in her mind before a bloody image flashes in her mind. Shaking her head, she clears the idea out of her mind as Mayday reaches an open window. 
Her quick scream of horror as she accidentally swings herself out of the window causes the woman’s blood to run cold as she flings herself out of the window after her. “MAYDAY!”
The adrenaline coming from her heightened fear causes the whole thing to appear to be trapped in time as the spider woman falls with the screeching infant falling inches away. Tears clouded her vision as she shoots out her webbing to the pillars around them as the images of flames lick at her eyes. 
So many flames, and too many buildings at once. Screams and pleas from below as she tries to be there. They didn’t matter to her, not at that moment. The only one who mattered was him. Did he scream like that too or did he not even feel it?
Using her webbing, she quickly creates a hammock for Mayday to fall on a few feet from the ground, thankfully trapping the wailing infant so she can’t escape. Unfortunately, reality doesn’t set in time for the spider as she slams into the titanium flooring below, knocking the air out of her lungs.
Many spidermen gathered as they heard the commotion, but she could only focus her blurry vision above her as she tries to regain her sight. A familiar blur of bright pink swings up and grabs the ball of ginger hair in a muddled mess of cries. He quickly drops down to where the disoriented woman was splayed out below with the whimpering infant in his arms.
“Hey, Sunny, you alright?” Peter calls his friend. The damage didn’t look bad from the outside, but he was sure she had some nasty concussion with how she was looking at him.
Hobie crouches down beside the crumbled girl and carefully lifts her head up with one hand. “Oi, Sunshine, you there?” He mutters as he looks into her eyes. He holds up his hand and makes three fingers pop up. “How many fingers do you see, love?”
With a cough, the woman croaks out, “Three?” Her eyes begin to focus as her enhanced healing works out the stars in her vision. With the help of Hobie and Peter, she stands up with a whimper at the feeling of her shattered ribs forming back together. “Damn, I forgot that falling several feet actually hurt.” She attempts to joke despite her wheezing breath. The crowd around them laughs as Peter sighs in relief.
“Thank god, you’re alright.” Peter mourns as a glint of regret shines in his eyes. “I’m sorry for all this, Sunny. I shouldn’t have let her bring the web shooter here. She almost swings herself out of the window all the time and MJ told me that one day I won’t be there to help the next time it happens.” Mayday’s cries end as she sees her favorite play partner up and well as she shows off her gummy smile.
“Well, luckily I was here to save the day.” The disoriented spider muses as she returns the infant’s smile as the men chuckle. The crowd dissipates leaving the injured spider with her two friends.
“I’m still really sorry, P. I got distracted and didn’t see that the window was open.” She winces as she blames herself for being so neglectful.
“Don’t sweat it, kid. This little rascal will probably send me to an early grave with all the mischief she causes.” Peter jokes as he tickles his now roaming daughter, chuckling at her excited squeals.
“Good thing you don’t have a kid, Sunny.” Hobie chuckles. “You would lose them in a heartbeat.”
The bright atmosphere shatters as the woman abruptly pulls away from her friends. The men look at her confused until they saw the look in her eyes. The normal warm and inviting gaze that they all thrived under was gone, only a dark void was staring back at them. Their light now shining in hurt and sadness as memories cloud her mind. Her lip trembles in a tight line as tears begin to roll down her face. 
Hobie looks confused at the sudden shift, but Peter realizes something as he looked at his trembling friend. Her eyes burned with tears as they locked with his. She had a haunted look about her. It's a look only parents can ever understand and fear. The look Peter himself almost experienced. “Hey,(y-” Before Peter can comfort her, she activates her mask and turns invisible before running off, her muffled sobs leaving them speechless.
Hobie groans as he realizes two things. One, he just made the sweetest person in the world cry. And Two,...
Miguel is gonna kill him.
~~~~~~~
The warm glow of the portal illuminates the surveillance room as the blue spider steps out covered in a musty yellow goo. Lyla smirks as she observes the little chucks slipping onto the ground as Miguel attempts to dust off the slime from his large shoulders.
“Was your mission successful, boss?” The assistant snarks as she sends out a little robot to follow the annoyed Spiderman. The little bug-like contraption eagerly swallows up the disgusting mess Miguel left as he walks up to the platform. “The anomaly was captured and disposed of. Next time, warn me if William Baker is made of anything except sand.” He grumbles as the sound of the little robot annoyed him even more. 
“I’ll make a note of that.” The AI giggles as she downloads the mission info from Miguel’s gizmo. “Also ‘Miss Sunshine’ is here and she doesn’t seem too happy.” She says before fading out.
Miguel’s eyes widen upon hearing that his sunny partner was upset. She was never upset. Never. With concern eating away at him, Miguel shoots out a web and swings himself to the platform above. He lands softly as he sees the scene in front of him.
His sunshine sat in his usual seat in front of the monitor. Her costume was dirty with a chest compression brace wrapped around her ribs as her choked sobs wheeze out of her. Her mask was off as her head rested against the ice pack in her hand, her back leaned forward as her attention was focused on the image before her.
He already knew what was on the screen.
He knew that file name by heart just like how he knows Gabriella’s.
File SW-0001425
World 16457-0
Spider-Woman- (Y/N) (L/N)
Age of infection- 23
Occupation- Intern Medical Research Assistant in the Genetics Department of { REDACTED } working under Dr. {REDACTED}
Sacrifice: Ben (L/N), age 4, Son of (Y/N) (L/N), 1 year into being Spiderwoman
Cause of death: Blunt Force trauma and Smoke inhalation caused by a multi-location attack caused by { REDACTED}
Status of Universe: DESTROYED
On the screen, the laughing face of a younger Sunny shines as a chubby cheek of a baby boy with dark curls smooshes into hers. The faint sound of a child mimicking the smooch of a kiss can be heard as the overexaggerated gasp of the woman causes the toddler to squeal. “That was such a sweet kiss, Benny. Can mommy have another one?” The sweet voice soured the air as the sobbing woman mournfully watches her baby boy.
The baby she failed.
Miguel approaches behind her and slowly takes the mouse from her weak grasp. The broken woman sighs as she realizes her miggy is here with her now, but doesn’t turn to look at him as he pauses the video. Her baby’s matching eyes stare right back at her before Miguel turns the chair around to face him as his mask disintegrates. His eyes glow red under the light of the monitors as he searched her sore eyes. Her face was red with a noticeable bruise along the left side of her face. Tears and snot crusted over her soft features as her lips remained turned into a trembling whisper. Her pupil shone in self-loathing and searching for his comfort. He could tell that this episode isn’t just one of her low days, something happened.
Something happened and he wasn’t here to stop it.
Miguel closes his eyes as his hand caresses her cheek. The warmth of her flushing face nuzzling into his palm allowed him to ground his rage as he focuses his gaze back onto his beloved.
“Mi luz, ¿qué pasó?” He seethes as he looks deep into her eyes. 
She shakes her head as she tries to avoid looking into his concerned ruby gaze. The glass bridge was already cracked as she internally debated with sobbing everything that happened into his warm embrace or to protect her friend from the wrath she knows Miguel will unleash if he knows what was said. The warmth of his other palm cupping her cheek, guiding her to a wandering eye to look at his frowning face nearly broke her.
“It was nothing, Miggy…”She whispered as her voice trembled again. She tried to control her eyes from unknowingly confessing while she tries to bite the wobbling pout. “It was an accident…”
“What.” Miguel runs his thumb under her abused mouth as a piece of her disheveled hair was swept back. “Happened?” His demand is punctuated as he holds her in his stare. His eyes burned with barely contained fury and protectiveness as he studied her reactions. “Odio verte como la suya, mi amor.” He admits with a sigh.
Leaning forward, Miguel places a firm kiss on her forehead as his beloved’s breath shudders at his touch. The gentle heat under his touch left her trembling as the glass began to crack. “Let me ease your pain…” He whispers as he trails his kisses down to her eyelids. “These eyes are meant to be filled with happiness, not sorrow…” The cracks deepen as he gently kisses her nose. “I can’t undo what has happened…” The corners of her lips were caressed by his as his nose brushed against her cheeks causing her eyes to meet his mirrors. Her sorrow and helplessness are reflected in his ruby eyes as he kneels on the ground between her legs. A silent plea breaks the resolve she built as he mutters into her ear.
“Please, mi sol, at least let me feel your pain too…It's me and you against the universe remember…Por favor no me dejes solo ... No quiero perderte de nuevo.” He begs as the tension shatters. 
With her arms snaking around his shoulders, the little spider confesses all that happened hours prior into his ear. Each detail, each scar, burned into his mind as she clung to his neck and hair. His inferno of rage almost imploded until he looked back into her eyes again. The relief of letting go of all of her troubles made her face look years younger as she looked at him with her big vulnerable eyes. 
Hobie will have to wait. His love needed him now.
In a silent nod, Miguel wrapped her weak legs around his waist before he stood up. Feeling her snuggling into his throat, he carries her toward her room down the hallway while the annoying robot follows them to clean up the mess. As he enters the room, he releases some of his anger by smashing the bug with his foot. 
“What was that, Miggy?” She croaks as she weakly tries to look over his shoulder.
“Just a bug,” He sighs as he approaches her dresser and grabs his spare set of clothes from his drawer. “You want your clothes or mine?”
“Yours…” She shyly admits as he feels the heat returning to the cheek on his neck. 
“Muy bien, niña bonita. Lo que quieras.” He whispers as he grabs another set of clothes that he knows will swallow her. With that, he carries them into her personal bathroom and spent the night slowly bringing back his sunshine.
~~~~~~~~
A deep scream rings out through the Lobby as they see a flash of blue fury tackles the residential metal head into the ground. Peter hurries to save his colleague along with a few other Spidermen as Mayday laughs at the anarchist getting thrashed by the clawed man spewing Hispanic curses at him.
~~~~~~~~~
Translations:
Mi luz, ¿qué pasó? - My light, what happened?
mi sol - my sun
Por favor no me dejes solo ... No quiero perderte de nuevo. -Please don't leave me alone...I don't want to lose you again
~~~~~~~
taglist:
@ameliadraws 
@tojisrightnut
@whyareyoubored
@silly-lovestruck-em
@luvil1y
@chims-kookies
@himesuedi
@22carolina08
@chaoticevilbakugo
@boredwithlifeatthispoint
@hoshhoshh
@isaidoop
@pheroineux
@rosiepetalss
@aniya7
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sh1-n0bu · 1 year
Text
♡︎ 𝙛𝙤𝙘𝙪𝙨 ♡︎
anon asked: babes can i pls request sub!albedo? just teasing him and making him unable to do his work lives in my head rent free
characters: sub!albedo x nb!dom!reader
warnings: handjob, fingering, degrading and praising mixed together lol, rough sex, dacryphillia, edging, dumbification, size kink, exhibitionism (i forgot the word for it and had to search it on google), reader is completely nb so the cock part can be interpreted as a strap on!!
notes: this was actually meant to be posted like 2 days ago i think??? but i caught a cold and had sudden exams coming up while still having a fever lmao. also here have this 1.8k words of smut bc i re edited it and made it longer after seeing a bunch of mf sub reader on my tumblr fyp. tumblr give me dom reader on my fyp bc this is my revenge
you can flag it as mature all you want you coward tumblr but i ALWAYS COME BACK
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the chief alchemist, kreideprinz, mondstadt genius, captain of the investigation team of the knights of favonius - albedo has many names however his most favorite, as lewd as it may be, would be [name]’s pretty cockslut.
the blond always liked that nickname. it slipped out of your mouth once accidentally during an incredibly messy sex between you two and since then it has been stuck in the alchemist’s mind like a dog on a leash. and now was no exception.
it was just a simple day in mondstadt. the chief alchemist being cuddled in his office in kof headquarters while sitting on the lap of his lover, scribbling away at on his notebook of his latest experiment and the results with furrowed eyebrows - trying to stay focused but always failing and ending up thinking of that one goddamn word.
it was just a slip of the tongue, an accident from his lover during a heated session. his darling apologized afterwards of course but the alchemist just can’t help his mind lingering on that single word. breathing starting to get heavier, doughy thighs rubbing together with his ears flushed - trying to refocus on his work before failing miserably with a groan.
upon hearing his distressed noise, you let out a confused hum. rubbing small circles into his waist to help him destress - where your arms are wrapped around - you left a small peck onto the back of his neck with a low mumble of what’s wrong.
“nothing my love. i just… can’t seem to focus on my work” he answered back. his other hand coming up to pat you on the head - ruffling your hair a bit in the process - while also hoping that you wouldn’t notice him getting hard. archons he was a mess. getting aroused by just the thought of a simple word? how pathetic.
unfortunately for the alchemist, you noticed. glancing down at his thighs clenched closely together, making the small bulge in his shorts almost unnoticeable if you were to simply glance over. almost.
“oh? what’s this? is my pretty prince getting hard over a simple act as cuddling?” moving your hands to hold his waist, you ground him down on your crotch making the blond gasp. hands flying up to cover his mouth with a frantic nerve yet also lust swimming in his eyes, albedo looked back at you as if asking you what you’re thinking with a faux glare.
“focus on your work darling. don’t you dare stop writing” letting out a low groan next to his ear, your hand guided his dominant one to grab his pen once more. after hearing him curse lowly with his fingers wrapped around the ink filled pen, you slipped your other hand past the waistbands of his shorts.
jolting when your finger touched the tip of his already hard cock, albedo felt his face burning up more, hands twitching, making a mistake on his experiment report. you let out a chuckle at that. sweet chalk prince making a mistake on his reports? an unusual thing indeed.
rubbing the precum oozing out of the slit of his already hardened cock, you heard him muffle his groan but still continuing to write his work. pulling away from his weeping dick, you heard albedo let out a disappointed whine before letting out a loud gasp, bucking his hips when your lubed up hand grabbed ahold of his hardened cock once more.
“mmfgh! [n-name], my lo-oohh… my aammh f-fuck! let me wo-oRKK MFFGH!!” bucking his hips to try and keep up with the thrusts of your hand, albedo threw his head back to rest on your shoulder. eyes screwed shut, hand clenching around his pen in a vice grip while panting and whining - archons your prince was so pretty.
“focus ‘bedo. wouldn’t want your work to be forgotten right?” sucking a dark hickey into his neck, your hand jerked him off at a faster pace. he let out a loud whine at that. shaking knees closing up as if trying to get you to stop so he can just focus but his bucking hips was telling you the truth of him wanting to chase after his approaching high.
letting out a delicious sob, the chief alchemist bent over the table. twitching and shaking as he soon spilled his load on your hand. peeking back at you with a shy glance and red cheeks, albedo reached one hand back, tugging on your pants frantically as if asking for his most favorite treat.
getting his hint you stood up, pushing the alchemist to lay on his stomach on the desk while taking off his shorts and lowering your pants and undergarments’ waistband.
“oh? have you become a cockslut for me my pretty prince? not wearing any underwear under your usual stockings now hmm?” tearing a small hole over his cute pink rim, you heard the man in question let out a loud whimper at that.
“getting desperate for me, my pretty slut?” albedo shook his head timidly. biting down on his lips in a desperate way to stop himself from moaning when hearing you call him such a lecherous name. it was so wrong, he knew that but it just turned him on even more! making his cock twitch and knees buckle as if being called something like that was something he was used to.
using his cum as a make shift lube, you pushed a finger into his cute pink hole - hearing him whine at the feeling of your finger filling him up so deliciously, so easily. after wiggling your fingers for a while you felt his walls start to loosen - a sign that he was starting to relax and get used to the feeling - before adding one more finger. scissoring him open while hearing his adorable high pitched whimpers is always a nice way to de-stress. loosening him more and more, you felt around his tight muscle, searching for that one spongy spot that makes his pretty blue eyes roll to the back of his skull as he lets out a surprised shrieks of pleasure. ah! found it.
abusing his prostate with your fingers as you hear him let out cute, almost girlish, breathy moans was the best thing you could ask for. he always reacts so adorably - pushing his hips back into your hand with a fervor want, knees buckling under him as his bare hands scratch against the desk with some hope of grounding his mushy mind.
“aah mmfgh awWHH~!! [n-name]~ don’t… don’t tea-aammfg!! tease me!♡︎♡︎” letting out another squeal, albedo turned his face around to look at you. hair messy with sweat clinging to his forehead, cheeks a shiny red of hue and eyes hazy with lust. archons he looks fucking delicious.
pushing him to lay on the desk again you pulled out your fingers - making him whine at the sudden emptiness as his loosened rim clenches and unclenches around empty air - before he let out a loud sob at the feeling of your tip pushing inside his loose hole. looking down at the mess of a genius you made, a smirk slipped on your face as an idea popped up.
“hey ‘bedo. what type of mixture is blood?” stopping after only slipping the tip of your cock in you stopped to ask him a question. he let out a confused noise before stuttering out “a h-heterogeneous mixtur-EEP!♡︎” as you slipped your cock halfway in. archons you were only fucking halfway in and yet he could already feel your cock bumping into all the perfect spots inside him. he’s just so sure that if he were to slip his hand down to his tummy he would feel a bulge. one that is caused by you!
“then if you were to mix acetic acid and water what would you get?” fuck were you being serious right now? albedo just wants to be fucked silly by you and not think of something so useless dammit!
“… vinegar” letting out a huff, he replied back. tone becoming annoyed and sarcastic before he let out a sharp gasp, clawing at the edge of the desk tightly when you shoved the rest of your dick inside him, the tip of your cock kissing his prostate so fucking nicely.
“good job. so if i were to mix up potassium nitrate, sulfur and carbon what would i get hmm?” letting out a stuttered curse under his breath to try and get his bearings back together to answer your question, albedo inhaled sharply before giving you your answer.
“f-fuck… it’s aamff… g-gunpowder mmngg!! p-please? please? [name] just fuck me already~ ple-ase!! i’ll be so good! pleA-GYAANH!!♡︎” letting out a shriek, the genius held on tightly to the edge of the desk. knees giving away from under him, leaving him to lean his body limply on his office desk as you grip his waist - slamming into his prostate with a groan over and over - using him as if he was a your personal cocksleeve, which he sure was turning into by now.
the room turned hotter, his breath being cut short by his own whiny sobs, tears rolling down his cheeks as a thin line of saliva ran down his jaw with pretty heart shaped pupils rolling to the back of his skull. he was completely spent. head dizzy and mushy, his sensitive spot being abused by you so easily as he tries to cling on to the small thread of his mind but failing in the process.
“a-aangh… albedo… what is f-fuck! the compound of water?” leaning your full body weight on his shaking body, you pistoned your hips to slam into his at a faster pace - feeling him tighten around you more and more, getting closer to cumming again. he couldn’t respond this time, only garbled whines and unintelligible sobs being your answer. letting out a sigh of disappointment you stopped moving, cock halfway pulled out as he whimpered loudly. trashing his trembling legs under the desk as a protest, trying and failing miserably to push his hips back to you.
after a while of a sex drunk protest, he seemed to gain a small sense of mind, whispering out “h-hydrogen and oxyge-ene…” in an almost unnoticeable small voice. hmm, perhaps he deserves his reward.
continuing to thrust into his spongy sensitive spot, you heard him let out a tired whimper - completely drained by your teasing and edging - letting out a long drawn sob of what seems to be your name, the alchemist came over his desk soon followed by your warm seeds filling him up. shaking legs failing to keep him up as he leaned against you for support as he felt you holding his waist close to yourself, flopping back down on the chair of his office while cuddling him close, uncaring that anyone could easily walk into his office at the moment.
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