#I have many MANY thoughts about today's update. by far the best one I should say | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thefrogdalorian · 3 months

Text

The Best of Both Worlds - Chapter Seven

Din Djarin x Female Reader Modern!AU

❁ Series Masterlist ❁ My Masterlist ❁ Read on AO3 ❁

Word Count: 9456 Rating: General Summary: Despite feeling certain that you'll never see the ridiculously handsome man you gave a tour of the museum to, a special delivery is about to change everything... Content Warnings: Brief description of anxiety, reader feels a bit anxious in a crowded area. Author's Note: Big thanks once again to my amazing beta @suresnips!! I appreciate your feedback so much 💕 The slow burn is certainly slow burning. When I started posting this I was wondering whether I should tag it as slowburn which is ridiculous because 54k words in and they're still like THIS AUGHBSGJD just KISS you idiots! Anyway, really hope you enjoyed this one. I had a blast writing it. This is the last chapter I'd edited while writing, so updates might slow down a bit to once (but hopefully twice) per week now. Thanks for reading, I'd love to know if you're enjoying it so far!!

6. You're The Sunflower [Reader's POV]

You were under no illusions that the odds of seeing Din again were slim to none, but no matter how hard you tried, you had not been able to stop thinking about him. Ever since you had given him a tour of the museum on Friday night, you had been unable to shake the memory of how incredible you had felt in his presence. Of course, you were instantly attracted to him and felt the spark when the two of you shook hands. Plus, there was that look on his face when he referred to the beauty of the exhibits as he gazed at you. You had been unable to get the way his eyes had softened as he looked at you from your mind, no matter how hard you tried.

Work brought you no relief. Everywhere you went, you were reminded of him. Any time you had to leave your office work behind to face the public, you were barely able to focus on giving the various groups that you had been entrusted with a proper tour. You kept looking out for the patient brown eyes and dark curls that had left an imprint on your mind after such a short amount of time. Several times your heart leapt when you thought you saw a man with just the right physique and height, with similar brown curls. But then his head would turn and your hopes would be dashed. Unfortunately, there were so many visitors to the museum each day that these moments were all too frequent, delivering a crushing blow each time.

It was ridiculous, pining over Din and looking out for him like this. You were under no illusions to the fact that you would never see him again. The time you had spent together that evening as you gave him a tour of the museum was lovely. In another life, perhaps the two of you would have been able to explore the genuine connection. But in this life: this was it. Your paths were never going to cross again. It was utterly ridiculous to think otherwise, no matter how much you ached to see him again. You just had a little crush on an attractive older guy. You would forget about him before too long.

Fortunately, today you had no tours scheduled. You were tasked with cataloguing some of the museum’s extensive archival collection. Specifically, seventh-century Chinese pottery. Although sometimes you found such work dull, you appreciated that everything had an order to it and a system to be filed under. Once it was completed, it would be incredibly satisfying. So you had thrown yourself into such work, partly borne out of a desire to see it completed but mostly, if you were honest, to distract yourself from the kind brown eyes of a man you would never see again.

The task was going well and you were making storming progress, especially considering that it was only mid-morning. That was until the familiar presence of your manager, Julie, entered the office and disturbed your peace. The sound of a heavy object being placed on the desk with a thud, caused you to look up.

It was perhaps the biggest bunch of flowers you had ever seen, in an ornate vase with stunning patterns running the length of the glass. You could tell, just by looking at it, that it was a luxurious bouquet that had presumably set back whoever bought it several hundred pounds. Your heart skipped a beat. There was no way these could be for you.

When your racing mind finally focused on the flowers, your jaw dropped as you realised exactly what they were. With their tall, green stems and bright yellow petals, they were unmistakably sunflowers.

As you sat there, aghast at the beautiful bouquet before you, Julie finally offered an explanation: “These came in from a flower shop this morning. The delivery guy said your name. I have no idea who they’re from and trust me, I had quite a battle to get them through security. Luckily a guy called Mo vouched for you. Maybe the card makes sense to you.” Julie said, winking at you as she walked away, leaving you sitting there at your desk, mouth hanging open.

Surely it couldn’t be… from him?

You noticed the little golden card nestled in amongst the sunflowers, with trembling hands you brought it towards your face so that you could see who the flowers were from. On it, the neat black handwriting read:

Let’s show the kid a real rhino. Meet me at the gates of London Zoo.

Saturday, 11:30 am.

– D

When you saw the single letter at the bottom of the card, you almost fell backwards off your chair onto the hard wooden floor below. It was from him. You felt your skin warming furiously as you read the message. Then, you read it again to make sure that you weren't dreaming. This surely had to be a joke, right?! An elaborate scheme to poke fun at you.

But that was ridiculous, apart from Ria, who was in a different country, and Mo, who had no idea of your affection for Din, no one had any idea that the two of you had interacted. Plus, given the evident expense of such flowers, it was unlikely someone would squander such an enormous sum on playing a prank. So with all possibilities of a prank ruled out… you finally allowed yourself to believe that this was real. That Din wanted to see you again as much as you wanted to see him. He had felt the spark too and now the two of you would meet again in just a few days.

You were in complete and utter disbelief that this was real. That there was a possibility that Din felt the same way about you. That, he too, held that same curiosity towards you; that pull that made you want to get to know him better. How, though, could someone like him possibly feel this way about someone like… you?

Julie inched back into the room, clearly having kept her distance from you to allow you to process the flowers and the note. You suddenly panicked and wondered whether she had read the note, and was coming back here to reprimand you for using your job to potentially start a relationship with a visitor. You reasoned that even if she had read the note, Din had left it deliberately vague with just his initial. She would never guess it was the man you had shown around this very museum only a few days previously.

“I won’t pry,” Julie said with a smile on her face. “But whoever sent those must really care about you.”

You let out a deep sigh of relief. Julie’s demeanour proved that she was anything but mad at you. Fortunately, you and Julie had always gotten along. Unlike some of the other managers at the museum who would have hit the roof if one of their employees had been delivered such a bouquet in the middle of the day, she had been nothing kind to you. She was a couple of decades older than you and she reminded you of a family friend from your childhood. You had leant on her for advice when you had first moved to the big city.

“I think so.” You squeaked, feeling your skin burning up in embarrassment.

“Well, I’m happy for you,” Julie said, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “I wish nothing but the best for you. If you want to take your lunch slightly earlier and head off now, you’re welcome to.”

“Thanks, Julie.” You said appreciatively.

Budget cuts and constraints meant that sometimes the museum was understaffed and you were overworked, but Julie was always firm yet fair on the staff. She was great at getting the best out of her employees, she knew who needed to be micromanaged and who could work just as productively while being left to their own devices. You fell firmly in the second category, much preferring to be left to your own thing. And now, Julie could sense that the arrival of a large bouquet and card would send your productivity levels plunging unless you got to take yourself off and have some time to process it.

Your phone was in your hand before you had even left the museum, you were rapidly firing off texts to Ria. It would be early morning for her, but you knew she should be awake for classes and you hoped she was there to help cease the trembling in your body that had overcome you since the arrival of the flowers on your desk.

[ilovemando] 11:37: RIAAAAA!!!!! remember din, the hot guy i showed around the museum with his son?? He fucking sent a bouquet of SUNFLOWERS to my work and said to meet him on saturday at the gates of the zoo i told him about and recommended him to visit with his kid???

[thisistheslay] 11:40: OMG WHAT!?!? FLOWERS TO YOUR DESK!!! THIS SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING FROM A FANFIC I CAN’T BREATHE????

[ilovemando] 11:42 I KNOW. i was sure it was just my colleague pranking me but no, my manager confirmed it was hand-delivered by a flower shop this morning. and not any flower shop either, this one is like insanely london fancy. i’m just a peasant. i can’t believe this….. this kind of thing doesn’t happen to me!!

[thisistheslay] 11:45: Well, looks like it is happening to you, bestie. I’m so happy for you. What were the flowers like?

[ilovemando] 11:47: he got me sunflowers :’) after i told him van gogh was my favourite painter and i loved that piece. i can’t fucking breathe, honestly. my manager let me get lunch early and i have no idea how i’m going to eat let alone FUNCTION until saturday omg help me

[ilovemando] 11:50: but the thing is idk if it’s a date bc his kid is coming??? ahhhhh i dont wanna assume too much, maybe he just wants to be friends

You placed your phone back in your pocket as you found a place to sit in the park. Since the amount of money you had splurged on Mando merch at ForceCon, you had been forcing yourself to bring packed lunches to work in a bid to save money. It had mostly worked and you found that as the weather was improving, there was no greater delight than sitting outside in the park next to the museum and enjoying your lunch as you watched the world go by.

Once you had found an available bench, conveniently located underneath the tall trees that lined the edge of the park which partially protected you from the sun that was beating down as midday approached, you took your phone out and were relieved to see Ria had immediately texted you back. Your head had been swimming with possibilities over whether Din also viewed this as a date and you were eager to get a rational, outsider’s perspective.

[thisistheslay] 11:53: I mean, if a guy was sending a fancy bouquet of sunflowers to MY desk, I would absolutely take that romantically. Maybe he just can’t leave his kid with someone and that’s why he’s coming, I wouldn’t take that as a bad thing necessarily.

You read Ria’s message and felt your stomach flutter with butterflies once again as she reminded you of what had just happened. Din had sent you flowers. At your desk. Not just any flowers, either. Flowers that were in a piece of art you adored, that your favourite painter had created. Din had remembered that little detail about you, despite you only mentioning it in passing.

You shook your head and placed your phone in your pocket. You’d reply to Ria later. For now, you needed to eat your lunch and collect your thoughts so you could regain your composure and make progress on the task that you needed to complete at work that afternoon.

When you returned to work after your lunch break, however, you found that it was a struggle to focus on carrying out important archival research when an insanely hot older guy that you had an enormous crush on had indicated that he wanted to see you again. Not only did he want to see you again, but he had enlisted a fancy London florist to deliver your favourite flowers, a detail that he had remembered from a brief comment, no less. It was probably the most romantic thing anyone had done for you, which was not exactly difficult. There had been a sad lack of romance in your life over recent years, aside from the Mando fanfics you had consumed each night before bed. Traditional books had fallen somewhat by the wayside when you were at University, but you found that you still had a voracious appetite for reading. Especially when it came to consuming stories where you were the object of Mando’s affections.

Work kept you so busy that you found yourself quite content to be single as it meant that your downtime was yours and yours alone. Plus, adjusting to living in a new city – especially a city as massive as London – had already been difficult enough, without introducing romance into that. Yet it appeared that when you had least been looking for it, a potential love story had fallen right into your lap. It was quite remarkable timing.

Your state of mind did not improve over the next few days. It was a struggle to maintain your composure for the rest of the week and focus on your tasks. Luckily, you had been moved to have a less public-facing role as you stayed behind the scenes in the offices, working on the extensive archives. Luckily, Julie had known exactly how to deal with the situation and had understood, perhaps even before you, that you were in no position to face visitors when your thoughts lay firmly elsewhere.

Mercifully, with the help of some colleagues and a little bit of overtime, you completed the project on Friday afternoon, as planned. The relief and sense of achievement were immense, it had been no small undertaking to catalogue seventh-century Chinese pottery pretty much all on your own. You practically galloped out of work, excited for the weekend that lay ahead and in particular, to see Din again.

Despite your eagerness to leave work, you still took your time heading home, stopping for noodles at your favourite noodle shop on the way. You timed it just right so that you missed the main rush of commuters who were leaving London to return home and everyone else who was coming into London for a night out. You had had your fun in clubs and bars in the past, but you always felt ancient watching people heading for their nights out in skimpy clothes. There were a few of them, swigging from cans on the platform and laughing and chattering so loudly that you turned your headphones up to their maximum volume.

You did not begrudge them having a good time, but to you, it all just looked so uncomfortable. Rather than wearing uncomfortable clothing and cramming into overpriced bars to listen to awful music, you wanted to go home and sloth out on the couch in front of an episode of Mando. Although you had barely finished your last rewatch, you had just started another one. Despite how occupied your mind had been recently, it felt wrong somehow to not have a Mandalorian rewatch ongoing.

Lounging around on the couch in front of The Mandalorian was precisely how you spent your Friday night. With your comfortable pyjamas and facemask on, you felt somewhat relaxed, despite the churning that would commence in your stomach every time you thought about the prospect of seeing Din again tomorrow.

Although you were excited, you were also incredibly nervous. You wanted to make a good impression and hoped that the chemistry that had been there during the tour carried over to your day out at the zoo. But there were so many things to consider, questions to ask yourself about the whole situation. You found yourself dwelling on whether he viewed this as a date. You knew that you certainly wanted it to be one and sending such an extravagent bouquet probably indicated that there was at least some romantic intention there. But perhaps Din viewed going to the zoo to show Grogu a rhino as a purely platonic outing. You remained unsure of how to take it.

In addition, you were agonising over what to wear. You had triple, no quadruple checked your outfit for the zoo day out with Din. You fretted over how to style your hair, sending several shots to the groupchat to ask for their advice. As much as the groupchat had been helpful, you wished they had been physically present. There was just something about having people close that you couldn’t replicate online. Facetime and voice chats were helpful but you wished you had Ria by your side on the couch, giggling over the stupid goo facemasks you were slapping on your faces as you watched another episode of Mando. But Ria, and the rest of your friends, were thousands of miles away. You were all alone. Well, except for Mando, of course.

After finishing a steaming cup of your favourite herbal tea, you eventually turned in before midnight as you wanted to get up early to give yourself plenty of time. You were probably going to end up being at the zoo ridiculously early, but under no circumstances did you want to leave Din hanging, especially considering that you did not have his number. All you had was a time and a place to be. You were going to be there.

Despite how exhausting your week had been, sleep did not come easily. You tossed and turned, thinking about what tomorrow would bring. It was quite a turnaround of events, to go from believing that you would never see someone again to being only hours from facing them again. Nerves and excitement bubbled away in your stomach as you lay there, picturing the kind brown eyes and that crooked smile that you knew you were only hours away from seeing again…

The familiar tones of The Mandalorian’s theme song roused you from sleep at eight the following morning. You were a bundle of nerves and excitement, feeling as though your skin was tingling all over. As you lay there and slowly blinked your tired eyes open, you found yourself grinning from ear to ear as you remembered that you were awake so early on the weekend because the man whom you were incredibly attracted to wanted to see you again.

You knew there had been an undeniable spark between you and Din that evening at the museum. But you had doubted yourself and eventually convinced yourself that you were being delusional. How could he ever be interested in you? Din was just a polite, kind man, nothing more. How wrong you had been. Now, you were getting yourself ready to see him again.

Well, getting ready was yet to happen. First, you had to watch an episode of Mando as you ate your breakfast. It was a crutch you leaned on during times of great stress. If there was a big life event taking place, chances were that you had watched an episode of The Mandalorian at some point in the build-up to it. People leaned on all kinds of things, it just happened that yours was a sci-fi show that brought you an immense amount of joy. You might have been a little embarrassed about relying on it so heavily but, ultimately, you weren’t hurting anyone else with your hobby. You were proud that Mando had helped you through so much.

With your episode and breakfast finished, it was time to get ready. You had already agonised over the outfit for hours last night. However, in the early morning light, you doubted whether you looked good enough. You wanted to be comfortable considering how much walking you were sure to do, while also making an effort to impress Din. You ended up swapping out the skirt you had planned to wear for a pair of black and white striped cotton pants that were wide-legged enough to be cool in the summer. As you left your flat and headed to the station to make your way into London, you were glad for your last-minute outfit change. The thought of getting onto a busy transport network with all the grime and dirt of fellow passengers while wearing a skirt felt disgusting, somehow.

It was Saturday morning on the tube and mercifully, it wasn’t too busy. You were well accustomed to most routes by now and could use the tube with your eyes closed, if necessary. Today, however, you were so nervous that you felt yourself second-guessing your every move. Doubting whether you were heading in the right direction or on the right line and whether your tube would arrive at the zoo in time.

Fortunately, you remembered to bring your headphones, so you at least had the Mando soundtrack to keep you company. For a few minutes on the tube, you weren’t on an underground system hurtling underneath the streets of London at all. No, you were on a hyperloop pod on Coruscant, zooming along with Mando like you had seen him do several times in the show in pursuit of his most recent bounty.

As strange as it probably sounded to anyone who did not love the show as much as you did, when you listened to the music you felt as though some of Mando’s certainty in himself and the confident way he carried himself was somehow being transferred to you. You loved Mando for many reasons, but one of them was how much you looked up to him and admired him as a person. He had many characteristics that you only wished you could possess yourself. You truly felt as though he was someone you aspired to be, even if he was fictional.

You were so caught up in your fantasies, that you almost missed your stop. But fortunately, you realised in time and scrambled for the door. You glanced down at your watch and realised that you were pretty early, it was not even eleven yet. So, you decided to grab a coffee just outside the tube station so you wouldn’t be standing there at the zoo, looking like a little lost puppy. Plus, weren’t you meant to be fashionably late to dates? Or whatever this was? Wasn’t that a thing people did?

The coffee shop you selected was a bit pretentious and hipster for your taste. You had no desire to order an oat milk two pump caramel chai latte macchiato or whatever it was that people who used a lot of beard cream ordered. So you just settled on a regular cappuccino, which came with a slightly judgmental look from the barista. With your order in hand, you settled down on a comfortable seat by the window in the corner of the shop and took out your phone, firing off a message to Ria.

[ilovemando] 10:49 - ik ur probably asleep now but i’m about to go to the date with din and im so nervous aaah. he’s so hot and i feel like im going to make a massive idiot out of myself. currently drowning myself in coffee. not sure it’ll help my nerves. text me when you wake up!!

Of course, Ria didn’t respond straight away. It was not even six for her and you gathered she was asleep like any normal human would be on a Saturday. With no internet friend to calm your nerves, you instead decided to pass the time by watching the people of London pass by your window. Usually, on a Saturday morning like this, you would be nowhere near the centre of the city, preferring to keep to your quieter neighbourhood. It was a treat to sit and watch people going about their business, young and old, families and alone. You felt as though you were seeing a real slice of life outside that window.

You liked being a wallflower, a quiet observer. You used to spend more time out and about before the pandemic but after everything had locked down you realised you didn’t like people that much, as harsh as that may sound. No, since those times you much preferred to spend your time inside, watching Mando or talking to your friends. So it was strange to be out on a Saturday morning in this part of the city, watching the world go by. The longer you sat there, you found that you didn’t hate it as much as you thought you would. It was a nice change of scenery.

After a few minutes and drinking half of your cappuccino, you turned your attention inside the coffee shop. You noticed that there were plenty of couples here in this coffee shop, staring at each other affectionately from across the table, their hands clasped around their steaming mugs. It made your heart soar a little in hope, wondering whether those looks and these lazy mornings lay in your future with Din. Maybe you should do this more often. Maybe you and Din could come for a coffee here sometime.

Din, you thought with a start.

Thinking of him made you realise that you had completely lost track of time. It was now twenty past eleven and the Zoo was around a fifteen-minute walk away. You cursed yourself under your breath, you were always prone to daydreaming and could get so easily distracted sometimes, lost inside your own head. You had intended to be on time, maybe even early, to avoid giving any kind of impression that you weren’t eager to see Din again. Yet, now, to ensure that you would have to arrive there a sweaty mess, you would have to speed-walk to the zoo.

Fortunately, you still had your headphones on and you switched to an upbeat playlist, soon falling into step with the fast guitar and drumbeat as you headed to the zoo. The streets were beginning to get busier now and your earlier musings about enjoying being in the city for a change were long forgotten, replaced by a general disdain for the human race. But then you remembered where you were going and who you were meeting. You couldn't help but feel a smile creep across your face. A smile that only got wider when you approached the zoo gates and you saw a familiar figure standing there, waiting for you.

You felt yourself instantly lighten as you noticed him. A stupid, insecure part of your brain had worried that you had somehow misinterpreted things and he wasn’t going to be there. But sure enough, Din was standing right outside the gates with Grogu nestled in his arms. They were facing away from you but it allowed you to appreciate how broad Din’s shoulders looked from the back as you approached him. You were equally delighted to see the sweet little boy again as you were to see his father. After all, if Grogu had not been so drawn to Dürer’s rhino, perhaps the three of you would not be here together now.

As you approached him, you appraised Din’s outfit. He was dressed in a grey knitted cardigan with a dark turtleneck underneath it and a similar pair of dark brown trousers to those he had worn at the museum. You noticed Din was wearing his trusty brown boots once again. You thought he was a bit overdressed considering it was almost July, but British summer was typically not the warmest, so perhaps he had got it just right. Grogu was wearing a light green, short-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of brown trousers. His curly hair was sticking up at all ends and you thought he looked thoroughly adorable.

You were only a few feet away from Din now, but he still hadn’t spotted you. You weren’t quite sure how to play it – should you tap him on the shoulder? But you decided against that, you didn’t want to startle him with Grogu in his arms.

“Hi, Din,” you said quietly. Din turned around abruptly to face you as if your presence had startled him.

“You came!” Din said, his face suddenly lighting up, eyes crinkling in joy. The wrinkles beside his eyes were suddenly visible, a visual reminder that he was slightly older than you. But the reminder of his age did not make him look any less attractive. Din looked distinguished and handsome.

“Of course I came! Thank you for the flowers and suggestion to meet here. I loved them, it was very thoughtful of you to remember that I mentioned loving Van Gogh’s sunflowers,” you replied, voice shaking slightly with nerves.

“I’m glad you liked the flowers and didn’t find it, uh, creepy,” Din said nervously, placing his hand on the back of his neck again like he had done the first time you had met him in the museum. It was an adorable, bashful, mannerism that you adored.

“Of course not,” you smiled. “It was incredibly thoughtful of you. I’m so happy that you found a way to stay in touch.”

“Me too,” Din whispered, his eyes shimmering with an emotion that you could not quite place. Then he shook his head slightly and remembered the child that he was holding in his arms. “I hope you don’t mind me bringing Grogu along. But, like I said, wherever I go… he goes. And I believe you originally suggested the zoo because of his love for animals, so it wouldn’t have felt right to come here without him.”

“Of course it’s fine, Din,” You smiled. “Hi Grogu!” You beamed, giving a little wave to the little boy with the big brown eyes.

Grogu returned the smile, you were pleased to see that he seemed a lot calmer than he had at the museum. You saw Din visibly relax as you were fine with his son’s presence.

“It’s so good to see you again,” Din breathed. “I was nervous that you weren’t going to show up,” he admitted shyly.

“How could I refuse an invitation to a Zoo?” You questioned with a smile.

“Really, you don’t get sick of something like this after working at a museum all week?” Din said, raising one eyebrow at you.

“Absolutely not! Well, a zoo is a bit different to a museum but either way, I always loved them since I was Grogu’s age. I was always the straggler during any school trip to a zoo or museum when I was younger. I could have spent hours there,” You began, but shook your head, realising that you were probably rambling. “But enough about me, why don’t we head inside and find those rhinos that I promised were here and that this little one would love?” You beamed, suddenly self-conscious that you were oversharing again.

Din did not seem to mind though. He seemed to enjoy your tangential little rants. Of course, a few days ago he had been a paying customer for them. Now it was just the two of you, and you were painfully aware that they could be annoying to certain people. Not everyone shared the boundless enthusiasm you held for things that you were passionate about. Not everyone found it sweet and endearing. You had learnt the hard way that people could be profoundly annoyed by your enthusiasm and did not understand that you were not trying to make them feel bad. But those judgmental people were far in the past now.

It had taken a lot of time and a lot of hurt, but you had learnt the hard way that hiding parts of yourself was incredibly draining and only caused you more heartache and pain in the long term. So, with Din, you determined that things would be different. You were going to be nothing but one hundred per cent honest with him. After all, he wouldn’t have gone to all the trouble of picking out the flowers that you had mentioned just in passing if he didn’t like you on some level. It was time to be yourself and let Din see you for who you truly were.

That time had apparently come sooner than you were anticipating. As you made your way inside the zoo, you were suddenly getting the same vibe you had gotten at ForceCon. Where too many people were crammed into an impossibly small space, making things incredibly crowded. It was slightly panic-inducing, but you resolved to try and remain calm. Unfortunately, you did not have a comforting internet friend and a convenient staircase to hide under. It was far busier than you were anticipating. You usually visited the zoo when you had a half day off or on a Sunday afternoon when it seemed to be quieter. Since the weather had improved and it was a Saturday, though, it should have come as no surprise to see the zoo this busy.

Although you did not have Ria at your side, you were not completely alone. You glanced over at Din and instantly felt a rush of adrenaline course through your body. He looked so handsome, his strong side profile and beautiful nose silhouetted against the crowds of busy people. With his broad shoulders and looming presence, a feeling of calmness and security washed over you. Maybe if you had had him to ogle when you had been making your way through the crowds at ForceCon, you would have handled it better, you thought with a smirk.

That momentary relief was fleeting, though. The crowds did not cease, you found that same sensation of being swept away gnawing away in your gut that you had at the convention. But, you reasoned, you had handled that then, just like you would handle this now.

“Are you alright?” Din said, suddenly noticing that you looked slightly uncomfortable. You momentarily cringed, feeling self-conscious that he had noticed how much you were struggling.

“I’m fine, just not a huge fan of crowds,” you admitted with a slight grimace. “It’ll be fine once we clear out of the entrance though and get on the paths to one of the enclosures. Actually, I think the rhinos are right at the back where hopefully not many people will head straight away. Maybe we could go there first, work against the crowds?”

Din agreed with your suggestion and was content to let you lead the way. The three of you headed down a path that seemed to be in the correct direction of where the rhinos were. It seemed like you were walking the same way as the crowds for a little while. You feared for a second that perhaps, everyone had the same idea as you to head to the back of the zoo first.

Eventually, the tide seemed to turn and more people began heading down the narrow path towards you. You had to squeeze in and get close to Din. You inhaled sharply at the way your skin tingled as you brushed shoulders with him. It was ridiculous that such a light touch, through a shirt, could set your entire body on fire like that.

Then something bizarre happened. As you moved in to let the latest family pass, you noticed that Grogu was pointing at a young boy. You wondered for a second if they were perhaps friends, but when you looked a little closer you noticed the boy was wearing a shirt with Mando’s helmet on it. What a coincidence! You wondered if perhaps Grogu was a fan of the show. After all, despite its violent elements, it was surprisingly popular with kids. The comment Din had made in the museum about Grogu liking armour came to mind, too.

You were about to ask Din whether he and Grogu had watched The Mandalorian, but you noticed a strange look suddenly sweep across his features. It seemed to you as if he wanted this family to move past you as quickly as possible. Din sped up and hurriedly walked a few paces ahead of you further up the path, clearly eager to get away from the child as quickly as possible. You frowned slightly and followed him, wondering what precisely it was about the tiny interaction that had spooked him so much. You didn’t question Din on his actions or push for answers. You guessed that he was just a little nervous with Grogu in the crowd. After all, the kid had a habit of running off which you were all too familiar with following his antics in the museum the previous week.

Fortunately, you did not have too long to dwell on the interaction as the path came to an end and you soon found yourselves at the edge of the rhino enclosure. Din picked Grogu up, lifting the little boy so he could take in the sights of the animals over the wire fences that bordered the enclosure.

“See, Grogu?” Din said, pointing in the direction of the beasts. “It’s the same animal we saw in that artwork the other day at the museum, a rhinoceros!”

Grogu chirped in delight, bringing his hands together in glee. The child seemed happy to be here, to be spending time with both of you. He was delighted, as he took in the fact that the same animal that he had seen in picture form a few days ago, was now here before him. Grogu could not convey it in words, but you were sure that he was delighted that you and Din had gone to the trouble of bringing him here.

You looked over at Din too, finding that he was equally enthralled by the rhinos, his brown eyes wide in awe as he watched them pace throughout the enclosure. It was sweet to see whatever stress that Din had endured after Grogu had been so drawn towards that Mando shirt, slowly releasing as he gazed at the magnificent, otherworldly beasts.

You were still curious about Din’s adverse reaction to a seemingly innocent t-shirt. Perhaps Din just really hated that show, you reasoned. Pop culture was a topic that you had not really broached with Din thus far. You were a little afraid that your references might draw blanks from him given your slight age gap. Din being slightly older than you didn’t bother you and you felt as though there was no real power imbalance between the two of you. Plus, you loved how respectful and caring he was, in a way that guys your age were not.

As you and Din stood there admiring the rhinos, you found yourself mesmerised by the power of the beasts; the way their firm, coarse skin rippled as they took steps through the mud. It broke your heart to think that these creatures were poached for their horns and that some species were now critically endangered. Seeing them before you, they did not look real somehow. It was as though they were not from this universe and had fallen to Earth by mistake, one day. The rhinos looked like they did not belong here. In a way, you sympathised with them.

Despite the fact you were here with Din, you found that your mind inevitably drifted back to Mando. You thought it was amusing in a way that Grogu had been so drawn towards rhinoceroses. They reminded you of the fictional creature in Star Wars, the mudhorn, that Mando wore on his pauldron. He had managed to slay one against all odds to get its egg and keep a group of unruly Jawas at bay. You remembered watching in awe as Mando used his cunning and strength to outwit the helpless creature. The rhinoceros was probably the closest thing to a mudhorn on this earth. It was an amusing coincidence, especially with Grogu’s attraction to the Mando shirt.

After a few more minutes of gazing upon these magnificent creatures, you decided to leave the rhinos behind and head elsewhere in the zoo. Din had told you that in addition to rhinos, Grogu also liked frogs, so you headed towards the building that housed them. It was a magnificent brick building, with an ornate arch over the doorway. There were also plenty of windows to ensure that the reptiles inside were bathed in natural light. Unfortunately, it was also incredibly hot and humid inside, another measure necessary to keep the little creatures safe. You felt yourself beginning to clam up, both at the temperature change and the number of people crammed into this building. But then you looked at Grogu, his little face full of wonder as the three of you came to a halt in front of a large tank containing frogs, and your heart soared at the sight of him so excited.

You moved to continue walking further around the Reptile House, but the sound of Din calling your name stopped you in your tracks. Grogu had forced his father to stop in front of one of the tanks and was practically squirming out of Din’s arms. The mischievous little boy tapped his small chubby hands onto the glass insistently, looking at the frogs almost as though he wanted to eat them. The kid loved frogs just as much as he loved the carving of the rhino, it seemed. You watched them with a smirk on your face, admiring the sweet scene before you. Well, it was mostly sweet, Grogu was undeniably being a bit of a menace. No matter how much Din tried to tell him that he wasn’t going to be able to touch the frogs, it seemed that the little boy could not handle that fact. He was devastated by the reality that the frogs were going to remain on the other side of the glass, out of his hands.

You usually disliked small children, their wailing and constant need for attention irked you. Despite your usual disdain for children, you found it was impossible not to like Grogu. He was a cute kid, a complete charmer and, for the most part, very well-behaved. He had listened patiently to you at the museum the other day and had been exceedingly well-behaved on this trip to the zoo thus far. But it seemed that the frogs had pushed him over the edge. His bottom lip jutted out, beginning to pout. And then the wailing began. It was a terrible sound, one that was almost painful to your ears. You looked over to Din in panic, he had already gathered his son up in his arms and was pressing him against his shoulder in an attempt to console him. But nothing was working; the kid would not stop crying.

“Shhhh, Grogu, shhhhh,” Din said, pleading as the toddler’s temper tantrum began to turn more than a few heads. “Sorry about this… I think it might be best if we head outside.”

“It’s fine Din.” You nodded and let him lead the way.

Despite how busy the exhibit was, when a person had a wailing toddler in their arms, the crowds just parted instantly, without question or hesitation. You smirked as Din made his way through the crowd, mumbling ‘sorry’ and ‘excuse me’ with a frequency that any Brit would be proud of. You finally made it outside, blinking in the light. Din swung Grogu off his shoulder and looked at his son, caressing his cheek with his thumb, wiping the tears that were staining his chubby cheeks. You were in awe at the calmness and speed with which Din had approached the situation, undaunted by a wailing toddler which was, to you, a terrifying prospect. He was a natural at fatherhood, that much was obvious.

“Alright, pal. We’re out of there now. Please calm down, Grogu,” Din pleaded, looking nervously around at the nosy onlookers.

You could tell that he was embarrassed and you felt incredibly sorry for him. After all, there was nothing to be ashamed about. Grogu was just a little boy, he didn’t understand that he couldn’t hold the frogs. You decided to step towards them and hopefully offer some words of comfort.

“Hey little guy, what’s the matter?” you asked, concernedly. “I know you love frogs, I really do… but you can’t touch them, Grogu. They have to stay in their tanks so they’re nice and warm. It keeps them safe and protects them. Just like you feel protected when you’re in your dad’s arms,” you smiled, hoping that your words were cutting through to the tearful little boy. Grogu stopped wailing and titled his head to the side, as though he was trying to process the new information you had given him and make his mind up whether it was agreeable.

“That’s right, we wouldn’t want anything to happen to the frogs, would we?” Din joined in, nodding at you appreciatively for your intervention.

Grogu was still for a few moments but then began furiously shaking his head. It seemed that yours and Din’s kind words had finally gotten through to him.

“Good boy! That’s it, Grogu, well done for understanding why you can’t touch them,” Din said proudly.

“Well, you can’t touch those frogs, Grogu. But perhaps we can head to the gift shop on the way out and there might be a frog toy there for you?” You offered with a smile, hoping that Din was okay with such an offer.

Din nodded, seemingly approving of your suggestion and you felt relieved that you had not overstepped your boundaries. Thanks to yours and Din’s soothing words, Grogu soon calmed down. Now that you did not have a crying toddler to contend with, you turned around and noticed that you were standing by a play area that was currently deserted of any children. You laid eyes upon the swingset that was currently empty, a mischievous idea forming in your head.

“Shall we go on the swings?” You questioned playfully.

“It would be rude not to,” Din said with a smirk.

You made your way over to the swings, taking a seat as Din sat at the one next to you, Grogu sitting in his lap. Din told him to hold on but you had already begun moving yourself in earnest, kicking your legs out, determined to swing higher and higher. Din looked at you, a wide smile on his face as Grogu giggled. It wasn’t long before you and Din were both laughing hysterically.

Only moments before, Grogu had been violently wailing, but that terrible scene was now a distant memory as the three of you swung on the swing set. You knew that you would feel self-conscious about unleashing your inner childish side like this with most people. But with Din, you truly felt as though you could be yourself. You felt too, that the more he saw you interact with Grogu, the more he was also beginning to lower some kind of guard that he had encircled himself in. You continued happily swinging on the playground for a few more minutes until two small boys ran up to it, their faces dropping when they saw it was occupied. You felt as though you couldn’t stay there any longer with them watching you like that, so you looked at Din and the three of you climbed off and allowed the kids to play.

After leaving the swings behind, the two of you headed to the penguin enclosure, keen to see the magnificent black and white birds swimming around with your own eyes. As you and Din leant on the railings, Grogu between you, mesmerised by the creatures, the conversation shifted towards your romantic lives.

“So… uh, I was thinking perhaps we could go for some lunch at the cafe over there. Is that alright? I mean, there’s no one waiting for you back at home?” Din asked, his deep voice trembling as his brown eyes remained firmly fixed on the penguins.

“No, Din,” you breathed. “There’s no one waiting for me at home.”

“Wizard!” Din exclaimed. “Oh uh… I mean good, I wanted to spend the entire day with you.”

“Me too, Din,” you smiled. “I take it from your reaction that there is no one waiting for you, either.”

“No, it’s uh… it’s just me and Grogu. Always has been since I found him,” Din divulged and you thought you saw him grimace slightly as he admitted that. “I adopted him, you know. Don’t know much about his early life, but I’m all he has, now.”

“I gathered you had adopted him, but blood doesn’t always matter. I think you’re an amazing father,” you smiled at Din encouragingly.

“Thank you,” Din whispered, his voice cracking and eyes shimmering at your compliment.

At that moment, the little boy you had just been discussing so fondly decided to hold out his arms to Din, an indication that he wanted to be picked up. Din leaned down to scoop him up and the moment passed, but the implications of the conversation you had just shared were clear. You were both single. There were no barriers to you exploring something together. Grogu then began rubbing his stomach, an indication that he was hungry and the three of you headed towards the cafe that Din had earlier spotted.

After a delicious lunch, the rest of the afternoon passed without incident. Mercifully, Grogu did not encounter anything else that upset him as much as the Reptile House had. You and Din strolled around the remainder of the zoo at a leisurely pace, chatting to each other a little bit about your pasts as you went along. There was nothing in particular that either of you wanted to see, happy to let the mood dictate your pace. There was no pressure, nowhere for either of you to be. You gathered from comments that he had made about how busy he had been at work that week, that this was a rare, calm moment in Din’s schedule, as it was yours. He seemed to be relishing it as much as you did.

You were enjoying every moment in his presence, relieved that the spark you had first felt at the museum had carried over to your day out today. However, it was difficult to have a real conversation with him over the constant noise and toddler that you were accompanied by. Much as you had enjoyed your day out, you longed to see Din again in a quieter environment, perhaps just the two of you. But you would not make any demands or push him. Although he had been deliberately vague about what exactly it was that he did for a job, it sounded hectic and stressful. You completely understood if he wanted to spend his downtime with Grogu. You would put no pressure on him, expecting nothing even though you were extremely keen to see him again.

Eventually, you realised that it was almost closing time for the zoo. It was time to make your way to the exits and leave the animals and lush scenery behind. Though not before your promised visit to the Gift Shop, of course. You had promised Grogu a frog, after all. Fortunately, Grogu laid eyes upon the perfect toy to offset the disappointment that he had earlier felt at not being able to touch any of the amphibians. It was a bright green frog plush that he had toddled over to as soon as he laid eyes upon, pointing to it with a chubby hand, his brown eyes looking up at you expectantly.

Despite Din’s protestations that he would pay for it, you insisted. You wanted to treat the precious little boy and reward him for how well-behaved he had been throughout the day, despite his momentary lapse. Plus, Din had bought your tickets and the lunch you had enjoyed by the penguin enclosure. You felt it was the least you could do. The child was overjoyed, hugging his new frog friend tightly in one hand as he toddled alongside the pair of you out of the shop, Din clasping his other hand.

As you made your way out of the zoo, there was an ice cream van by the entrance, clearly aimed at the crowd exiting the zoo, complete with persuasive children in tow. Grogu had locked eyes on the van that was selling the sweet, sugary treats and of course, there was only going to be one outcome, his big brown eyes were too much for Din to resist. So the three of you ordered a British summertime staple: a classic 99 Flake. It was soft-serve ice cream on a cone with a crumbly, flakey chocolate bar stuck in the ice cream.

After walking away from the van, the three of you found an empty bench to sit on, to watch the world go by and enjoy your treat. Grogu was perched contentedly on Din’s lap, and you noticed, heart skipping a beat, how close you and Din had naturally found yourselves sitting on the bench. Your shoulders and arms resting against each other, your thighs touching too. It felt surprisingly comfortable and affectionate considering how little time you had spent together. But you were certain of one thing: it felt so, so right. Of course, there were probably limits to what public displays of affection Din felt comfortable with in front of Grogu. You felt certain that this was a sign of his intentions, one that set your pulse racing.

After you had all finished your ice creams – Grogu had ended up wearing more of his ice cream, the sweet treat smeared all around his lips, on his cheeks and nose – the three of you sat there in companionable silence. You watched as the dregs of the crowd filtered through the ornate gates where you had started your day hours before. The silence was pleasant, you were enjoying the sensation of being close to Din, his warm strong body resting against yours. You wondered if he had enjoyed the day as much as you had, hoped he had, at least. You wondered whether Din would like to see you again or if that was it. As if he could read your racing thoughts, Din broke the silence that had settled between the pair of you.

“So, uh. I was thinking… I would love to see you again, perhaps sometime in the week, after you finish work?” Din offered. “I can leave Grogu with a friend and meet you at the museum. Just be the two of us.”

“That sounds wonderful, Din,” You breathed, a shy smile crossing your lips as you looked into his soulful brown eyes. “I would love to.”

“Great!” Din said, smiling widely, clearly relieved that you were both on the same page about wanting to see each other again. “Let me give you my number, I’ll be in touch.”

You took your phone out of your pocket and held it towards your chest, unlocking it with slightly shaky fingers, overcome with excitement and tremendous relief that he had enjoyed your company. You were careful to hold your phone close to your body as you unlocked it so that Din could not see the picture that was your lockscreen. You weren’t sure how to explain the photo of you standing next to the incredible Mandalorian cosplayer that you had taken a picture with at ForceCon to someone like Din. Especially considering the way he had earlier responded to the Mando helmet t-shirt. You weren’t ready to show Din what level of nerd you were just yet. Surprisingly, you hadn’t brought Mando up to him yet. It was partly due to his reaction but also because you knew by your nature, how hard it would be to hide your true enthusiasm for it and just act like a casual fan. It was best left until you had gotten to know Din a bit better.

The unfamiliarity and uncertainty that lingered, despite how sure you were that you wanted to see Din again, was a reminder that this was only the second time you had spent time together. It was hard to believe that you had just met, because when you spent time with Din, you felt, somehow, that you knew him already. You had felt instantly comfortable in his presence, as though you had known him for many years.

And in a way, you had. You just didn’t know it.

Next Chapter

Taglist: @toxic-seduction @survivingandenduring @readingiskeepingmegoing

#my fics #tbobw #din djarin fanfic #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin fanfiction #mando x reader #mando x you #the mandalorian fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

56 notes · View notes

piosplayhouse · 1 year

Text

Horse Isle 3: The Yandere Sim of Horse Games

(or, an extended study in how to hate your own playerbase as much as humanly possible)

(or, or, tldr there's pretty much no updated information on just how ridiculously bad this game is so here's a writeup on how I got banned and all the subsequent information I found during my time playing for documentation's sake)

Part I. The Backstory

My beloved followers will know that a few months ago I began playing Horse Isle 3, a horse-raising MMO surprisingly released in the year of our horse 2019 despite its 1997-era website and Runescape-esque graphics. Some of my play through (mostly just horse pictures) is chronicled in my tag #homophobic scum horse chronicles ¹ if you want to see how drippy my horses were before they killed me.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have endless respect for small teams of game devs that manage to create insanely impressive products-- which HI3's elaborate real-genetics breeding system, its main draw, certainly is. Coding is hard, modeling is hard, moderation is hard. Tip a coin to your local small indie teams that work hard to make incredible art.

However, HI3 is far from an admirable success story about a small dev team that triumphed over its obstacles.

The game is known for a variety of things, chief among them being the staff's rampant homophobia (which has earned it the moniker "the homophobic horse game"), hilariously uncharismatic mods (to the point where one of the main moderators, Connie, is mentioned by NAME in the majority of poor reviews of the game), the dev team's unrepentant rejection of criticism, and racism with a side of downplaying war crimes.

(Screenshots taken from Sitejabber, here)

Now, it's marketed as a game for ages 8+, which, as I've briefly talked about before, is unfortunately a rarity in today's hostile internet climate. I grew up on a variety of typical child friendly MMOs like ye olde Pixie Hollow and PetPet Park, and truly lament that so many of these have been shut down over the years. As such, I have no issue with strict rules or word filters in games, with the caveat that they are effective and genuinely intended to keep people safe. Kids are naive, and can and will say things that they shouldn't (I, for example, got kicked from a Minecraft server when I was 8 because I posted in chat that my mom told me sex wasn't a bad word. things happen). Filters are a very appropriate tool to aid manual moderation of chat features, especially in an environment where mistakes will be made.

However, HI3's, as shown below (words that are forbidden from chat are marked in red), are... questionably selective.

(Screenshot taken by Alice Ruppert, from here)

This appears to be attributed to the fact that along with having horrible moderators, HI3 also seems to have a remarkably horrible developer backend, which is a trend that you'll see pop up quite a lot in this post. Taken straight from the horse's (haha) mouth, the lead developer is the only person who seems to be able or willing to add to the filter list, and for whatever reason only wants to block the "most common inappropriate words"- because saying transgender is more of an issue than nazi and gulag I guess.

(Screenshot taken from Top R.'s Sitejabber review, here)

¹ I'm not sure how far this will reach out of my audience, and since people have already assumed weird stuff about me I thought I should probably clarify-- I'm not calling the game "homophobic scum" ghghg, my play through was focused on making horse versions of characters from a novel called "scum villain", so I took the scum and added horse (I actually have another tag for a different horse breeding game called "scum horse chronicles" so I needed to distinguish them easily but am not very good at tagging). That's it.

Part II. The Game

The game itself is, putting it simply, a mess at best and openly hostile towards newcomers at worst. The game's UI is comparable to your average petsite with 20 thousand things to click on but if you tried to navigate that while also watching the Pilgrim's Progress movie by Scott Cawthorn on 90% of your screen. This is a very good overview of what your experience first logging in will be like, with the added caveat that talking in global chat costs in game currency and that the game doesn't tell you this at ALL until you try to type in chat, and that depending when you log on it's entirely possible that you'll spawn into a completely dead town miles away from anyone who can help you, wilderness survivor-style.

To make things more complicated, information about the game is split between the game itself and the laughably horrible website/forums. Spectacularly enough, the forums, which provide vital game information and rule elaborations, cannot be searched in any way (not via Google or any hard-baked search bar) and are regularly purged by admins to erase evidence of scandals and poor moderation complaints.

Now, something you will find to be generally people's biggest issue with HI3 is their strict no "date-speak" rule, which sounds ok on paper but is worded *just* vaguely enough to give the moderators full jurisdiction over whether or not they think you're breaking the rules. Selective moderation is a major theme in the HI3 chronicle, but it is perhaps most documented with regards to this rule, because what the hell does "boyfriend/girlfriend talk" even mean?? Outside of vagueness, this rule has also been scrutinized extensively by others due to the fact that a pair of previous moderators were openly married with the igns "FrogLips" and "MrsFrogLips". I don't personally think this is super condemning, since kids usually address adults by Mr/Ms etc whether or not they know they're in a relationship, but regardless it's clear that the complete lack of elaboration on what this rule means can be easily manipulated to lodge any number of complaints against people.

(Screenshot from the Horse Isle website rules page, here)

What I will say, however, is that this rule would probably hold more water if the game wasn't literally about breeding horses.

You can pimp out your horses, you can pay others to breed your mares, you can put any number of special (real life currency-bought) amulets on your horses to make them more fertile/have twins/give birth faster. I paid $1000 to castrate Jiang Cheng. The word "stud" (which btw, is another word for a black butch lesbian) is used constantly. Perhaps most shockingly, horse inbreeding is very common and accepted among the community, to the point that it is explicitly mentioned and EXPLAINED in the game guide; the only penalization for it is that your incest product foal will have a lower intelligence stat. Call me old-fashioned, but I feel as though implementing and acknowledging that horses can breed with their own relatives is hmm perhaps more harmful than another player saying the word gay, but what do I know.

(Screenshot from the Horse Isle website game guide page, here (only accessible with an account))

Well, you might ask, after you breed and sell a horse, is there any way to put a brand on it so you know it's from your ranch? That's where the "prefix" system comes in. Prefixes are bolded titles that appear in front of a horses name in lists and in the overworld, and are described in the official game guide as follows:

(Screenshot from the same Horse Isle website game guide page as linked previously)

I think you can toggle them off if you don't want to see them, though I could be wrong. They're basically just 1-5 letter titles you can put on your own horses (nobody else's, importantly). There's no way to search prefixes, and you won't see them in game unless either a horse with a prefix is listed in auctions or you actually encounter someone in-game and see their horse.

In fact, I would learn later that not even the moderators monitor the prefixes, and apparently have no way to mass-delete them. At all.

(Image taken from an anonymous friend)

Now, it's not unusual that a game as complicated as HI3 would inevitably have a pretty taxing server-side code. Millions of multifaceted assets and features is really nothing to scoff at. However, the notion that your lead developer has to perform a manual search in the game's code to delete the equivalent of a stamp from every instance individually is hilarious. I'm not going to pretend to be a game developer, but there HAS to be a better way of coding a feature that intakes user-generated content that should probably be monitored regularly than that, right? Or, at least, there should be a robust filter system that could prevent any issues from occurring before they would need to be fixed so tediously. You might think.

On December 29th, 2022, I discovered how to register a prefix. It's very common to headcanon the characters I was naming my horses after as transgender, and I thought it would be cute to attach "TRANS" to my horses as a nod to this. However, a filter blocked the word. I was disappointed, but not surprised², and then tried to think of another word that was under 5 letters. To my complete and gay surprise, "GAY" was not filtered out, and henceforth, this worked as my prefix.

As you can see on the popup here, there are scant guidelines for what the requirements for a prefix should be. And, in this moment of apparently utter foolishness, I was under the impression that since "GAY" was NOT filtered out despite there clearly being a filter on this function, it was ok to register. Possibly it's not filtered because it's a synonym for "happy", I thought, which is also cute because I do like when horses are happy. Perhaps the staff had learned from their past criticism and had loosened the restrictions slightly because they felt restructuring was appropriate now that gay marriage is legal in the US, I imagined.

(My original post)³

What I could not imagine, however, was that the only reason the word wasn't filtered out, despite being possibly the most common sexuality-related word, was just because the lead dev couldn't be assed to add it to the filter list. And that apparently I was supposed to know this because it would lead to a permanent ban on my second offense with no warning.

² Hence typing "eat shit lol". Admittedly childish of me, but I didn't put a lot of thought into the post because it was just part of a casual silly live blog I was doing to blow off steam. The "if I get banned" tag surprisingly was not referencing "GAY", as I genuinely thought I was in the clear for that for reasons stated above, but because I tried to register "TRANS" and then posted about it online. You don't have to believe me, but I feel the need to defend myself since some people have wildly extrapolated that my actions were malicious instead of just a split second decision I made because I was bored one morning.

³ Despite the pop-up box saying that prefixes cannot be removed, they actually can at any time, given only that the person that owns the prefix unregisters the horse from it. The unregistering mechanic is for whatever reason not told to the player upon registering the prefix, but is mentioned in the official game guide linked above.

Part III. The Ban, The Report

I will preface this section by saying that I played the game normally. I do like being outrageous sometimes for my followers' entertainment, but I really don't like dragging random people into my antics if they aren't interested. Because of this, I really didn't interact with other players unless we were mutuals on some other platform. I rarely used the chat feature except to participate in server-wide events that required team participation, and I typically just explored on my own for fun. In general I think I was a pretty ok player, objectively, which lines up with my user trust score.

You see, the way moderators of HI3 allegedly keep track of rule breaking is through a "user trust score" with points added if you use features in the game, help people, etc, and points deducted if you violate rules. Anecdotally I've heard that around the -10 total points mark is when moderators put you on a sort of list to be monitored for suspension or punishment, which is pretty reasonable.

By the time I was banned, I had a score of +31. The -10 offset was a part of this debacle. The only thing I had ever done in the game which warranted any kind of violation was, as you will soon see, literally just naming about 30 of my own horses "GAY", a sin egregious enough to apparently offset about 200 hours worth of playtime with no issues.

Because of this, I was a little bit confused on multiple levels. For one, I had never even seen a moderator in game, nor been informed of discipline at any time before. On top of that, their permanent ban notification is extremely strange and vague. The text pop up when you try to log in just reads "Account currently banned -1 minutes ().", which is probably just copied straight from the server-side code for things and just wasn't translated into user-side comprehensibility. You'll also notice there is a "()" section in the notification, which I would assume is where they put the reason for bans, except for the fact that mine was completely blank.

The website which allegedly would hold more info just repeated a near identical code: "BANNED! -1min. Reason:".

So, with nothing else to go off of, I messaged support on the jankiest help center submissions I've ever seen on a website with this:

"Insisting" and "total disregard" are very strong words to use for a situation in which I just typed a word into a textbox because the game let me, I'd think, which is why I tried to reason with her. The prefixes mentioned in my message are well-known amongst the userbase and are much older and wider-spread than mine, so I would think that there would be at least some sort of precedent for this. The "geldings and yearlings" reasoning was mostly a joke, but also intended to express that the nature of an acronym (as the majority of prefixes seemed to be) is that it can be interpreted in many ways. Intent was thrown around a lot when I was discussing the issues of prefixes with other users, and it seemed to have been used to excuse previous behavior in situations where mods liked the users in question better.

I also cannot emphasize enough how much they did not warn me about my prefix being removed. When I logged in and saw my horses' names did not include it, I was suspicious that the moderators removed it just because of the history of their behavior. However, I had no hard evidence because they did not inform me at ALL. Not through in-game mail systems, not through server messages, not through the website. Complete radio silence except for the addition of an unexplained "-10" to my user score. I did complain to some people that I thought it was removed, but a combination of things suggested that it wasn't a huge deal, so I mostly let it lie. For one, I had over 100 hours of playtime and was mildly worried that one of my chat messages had been flagged without my knowledge. For another, my profile text had also mysteriously disappeared, probably because of a glitch, so who knows what could happen in this game. Lastly, I went to the prefix registry again just to check and hilariously enough, they didn't actually block "GAY" from the database. Yeah, they apparently individually deleted it from all of my horses, but couldn't be assed to add such an "inappropriate" word to their filter system.

So I just registered it again and publicly told people that I would do it again if the mods didn't actually tell me to stop. I didn't really care about the prefix because to me, the feature was purely cosmetic. All I wanted was transparency from the staff.

Well, anyway, I assume Connie couldn't think of a comeback, so she just closed my report. I was annoyed because quite literally none of my questions were answered and she didn't even refer to anything in specifics. It would take less than 1 second to type the number of the rule I violated, but I guess that was too much work for her.

I tried to give them as many outs as possible to just apologize about poor communication, but they didn't even take the bare minimum. I would also like to mention that this support ticket process is the ONLY way to directly communicate with any staff. There's no ability to upload files or images on this system, and no email listed that you could contact. So essentially, there's no way to give actual evidence for anything you say even if you want to.

Kat, who is known as the slightly-more-reasonable-but-still-pretty-bad mod then picked up the case. Her response actually provided specific information, which made it leagues above Connie's, but still included some very strange elements for sure.

The notion that this game is intended for a worldwide audience is especially funny to me because you would really think if they cared about other countries they wouldn't violate their own rule one by using a slur for Europe's largest ethnic minority, but ok. It's a weird hill to die on considering how USA-dominated the staff's opinions towards rules are (Connie justifies the usage of a slur for Rromani people based off the opinion of a single roommate she had who reclaimed it, Joe defends a store in-game being called "The Gulag" because Americans don't think gulags are that bad (discussed and cited in the conclusions section)). But then again, picking and choosing what parts of other countries' customs you want to respect is very American, which is why I think they should add an extra star rating for its patrioticness on the website.

As I mentioned before, the prefixes I included in my response are definitely older and more commonly-used than mine, so I'm not sure how they wouldn't have seen them before. This comment also ties back to the suggestion that the moderators have very little control or insight over a distinct feature of their game, which is not a great thing to admit so casually.

Kat has a strange habit of immediately contradicting herself in the same paragraph, as can be seen here. "The glitches never happen and bugs were quickly fixed, but games still have bugs". "People that break the rules usually write in to ask what was wrong, but most people usually never ask". At this point I think we can confidently say that they don't even make an attempt to proofread any of their responses, to be honest.

Her 7th paragraph has one of my favorite lines in this exchange. "If we had to notify players every time we made moderator changes to their account we would spend 24 hours a day" is giving huge Yandere Dev "stop emailing me because I have to spend 24 hours a day reading all my emails instead of coding" energy. You really have to wonder why these people that seem to hate moderating so much are moderators.

You can tell by my response, but I do not like the use of "most" and "usually" in this at all. What's your standard isn't others' standards, and this is a topic which needs to be navigated gently, especially when kids are concerned. I never played the previous Horse Isles. I had no experience with the mod team, or with violations, or with anything because no one bothered to take five seconds to send me a message. No, I did not know that you would permaban me for typing a word that's in one of the most popular traditional Christmas songs in a place were only people who interacted with me would be able to see it. Most games would not do this. To take a lackadaisical approach to your literal job of community management because you want people to moderate themselves is contradictory to your claims of keeping children safe.

I will admit I was being a bit cheeky here as a subtle hint that perhaps they should take feedback, but I also would have taken a genuine response. I try my best to be as polite as possible to tech support staff because not everyone is! But they're people too and a simple thank you is worth a lot in customer service, even virtual. But Kat... you're not really giving me anything to work with here! If anyone reading this has feedback for how I could've rephrased things, feel free to comment them honestly. I actually ran drafts of these messages through a few people before sending them to make sure I was as concise and polite as possible, even if support clearly wasn't interested in reciprocating the effort ("following out rules using the the GAY to begin with"...?).

Part IV. The Backlash

I won't go too into depth in this section because it's more personal than documentarian, so feel free to skip to the next section if you want!

After this, the girlies were not happy with me. The one saving grace of HI3 that I've heard pop up over and over again is that the community is great. And a lot of users are! Don't think I'm disparaging people who play the game because I'm not-- it's a really fun experience with the right people. I was in a Discord server with a lot of people who were extremely helpful and kind.

However, within the community, there's also a pervasive culture of silence. According to Alice Ruppert of The Mane Quest, a lot of people will refuse to go public with their complaints about the staff due to fear of retribution, which I feel is unfortunate but understandable. There's a pressure to shut up and eat your food lest you be seen as someone causing controversy for the sake of it and ruining the sanctity of the game, which is an attitude explicitly encouraged by the staff (discussed more in the next section).

I liveblogged my entire correspondence with the support team to a group of other players for the 2 days I talked to them, and did have a lot of acceptance from people who appreciated someone speaking out. After the 2020 Mane Quest article, public information had sort of just gone dark as the community was pushed further into niche seclusion, despite things not improving at all. However, towards the end of my messaging, a group of people that I had never even spoken to or seen online before accused me of a variety of things ranging from "displaying my sexuality to children" (note: all I ever did was name my horses "GAY". I never once talked about my own sexuality in-game, nor did I say the word in chat ever) to "joining the server to cause drama" to "mocking the lgbt community by throwing around the word gay" (actually I'll attach a picture of this one even though I don't want to put people on blast in this section just because its so funny).

I think most of this can be attributed to the game having gained such a notoriety that longtime players, especially those with strong nostalgic feelings, have become completely desensitized to it. And this compounds with the fact that the game is so niche it doesn't yet have a good alternative to turn to to create a toxic cocktail where people tell themselves that they have to be loyal to the staff to play this one of a kind game-- and that anyone who doesn't follow them just doesn't understand. It's really sad, honestly.

Part V. Conclusions

I don't necessarily think the devs of HI3 are legitimately consciously homophobic-- unfortunately LGBT rights are still controversial amongst the largely southern and rural population of horse enthusiasts, and I could understand if they felt it necessary to skim the line towards conservatism to maintain a userbase. It's cowardly and dumb but it's not a sin to do what you have to do to survive in a capitalistic hellscape as cutthroat as the game industry.

However, what I do think the devs are is power-hungry and hypocritical. They have failed at every turn at community management because they're unwilling to admit they make mistakes, instead choosing to issue non-apologies like "[we] regret you guys got so upset and did not realize neither our true intentions nor motivations nor the whole situation [that we said it's ok that a player has a shop called The Gulag because it's 'not direct or violent']". To respond this way to a userbase filled allegedly with young children as a fully grown adult with a wife and kids is laughably out of touch. 'Sorry your fee-fees were hurt by our adult moderator responding to a serious complaint about inappropriate user-generated content with "lol", but actually you just misunderstood us and we're going to ban anyone who brings this up again' is the sort of response you'd see from the teenage mod team of an Undertale amino, not the supposedly responsible head dev of a 'rare oasis of kid friendly content'.

Telling an audience of impressionable kids that the fact that their feelings are hurt is their fault for not intuiting the intentions of 40+ year old adults is unbelievably toxic, and it's no wonder why people are so nostalgia-bound to feverishly shut down criticism about the games. They've been guilt-tripped into believing the mod team can do no wrong and any controversy, even if valid, that springs up is just extrapolated by people that haven't been laboriously groomed to know what the mod team wants to hear.

Countless times throughout my time researching and playing the game, the number one advice I've heard has always been "suck up to the mods or they won't do anything for you". It's crystal clear that the moderators care more about the joy they get from having power over some 200 users who will kiss their ass if they say a buzzword more than they care about you, your child, or the game itself.

It's essentially a model scam Kickstarter's wet dream, a game propelled to release and popularity by its singular defining feature and left to fester on the shelf as the only game in its niche market. Because of this, I believe there's truly no better way to describe HI3, with its messy backend, refusal to improve, narcissistic moderators, broken features, poor visuals, and inefficiency than as the Yandere Simulator of horse games.

#img descriptions in alt text!#lmk if there's any way I can make this more accessible! It's my first time writing something this long on tumblr :)#long post #really long posts #long posts #really long post #essay #hi3 #horse isle 3 #horse isle #fandom drama #hobby drama #discourse #homophobic scum horse chronicles

203 notes · View notes

mummybear · 3 months

Text

My Brother's Best Friend - Chapter 5 - Unwelcome Visitor

Words : 3831

Warnings: Swearing, Grief, Angst, Anniversary Of A Death, Talk Of Virginity, Degrading Talk And Threats, Protective Stiles And Scott. Think that's it.

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall, Reader/Sadie McCall, James(OC), Mystery Person! Find out in the next chapter ;)

A/N: So sorry about the wait once again guys! Really hope you like this chapter! Let me know what you think and feel free to ask for a tag if you would be interested! :D

Chapter 5 - Unwelcome Visitor

Stiles doesn’t even try to stop you when you leave your room, and you have to force yourself not to look back. You hold back the urge to ask if he’s coming. Whatever his reasoning, you need to get out. If he’s acting this way because he needs space, then he can have it. Nothing else matters today, you have somewhere more important to be. You can’t let yourself get distracted by anything else.

Today is the anniversary of Callie’s death. You’d promised yourself that every year on the day of her death you would go to her grave, to take her flowers and tell her about what was going on in town and in your life. After all, you’d made sure to be with her for every birthday celebration when she was alive, why should the anniversary of her death be any different.

Last night you’d planned to tell Stiles about your scheduled visit after breakfast, but right now, with everything going on between the two of you, the distance could be good for you both. Besides, food is the furthest thing from your mind. As you enter the kitchen the entire room falls silent, and you can feel the ball of nerves that sits at your throat, like a heavy weight that never leaves. Wringing your hands together, you take one look at the plate of food on the table and sickness sweeps through your stomach.

You feel someone take hold of your arm and you turn to face your mom. She gives you that all knowing look, that she gives better than anyone. She pulls you over to one side, as far away from the others in the room as possible.

"What happened? This isn't just Callie, is it?" She whispers, more than aware of just how many beings with super hearing are around.

Swallowing thickly you feel the tears pricking at the edges of your eyes.

"Can we do this later? I promise, I won’t bail, I just need to get out of this house, I need to get some air.”

Sighing deeply she shakes her head gently. You can easily see the worry in her gaze and the guilt of making her worry causes you to hesitate a little.

“It’s okay. If that’s what you need to do right now, sweetheart, then just be safe. Call Scott or me if you need to speak to someone. Just don’t shut us out, okay?”

She pulls you into a tight hug and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“Never, I swear. I’ll be back later, okay?”

You can’t face anyone else, so with a final goodbye to your mom you head out. Maybe the others knew not to even try to talk to you, since nobody even tries to stop your escape. You inhale deeply as the fresh morning air hits you in the face, you put on your headphones and select the playlist that you’d updated earlier in the week. Slowly you make your way to the cemetery, trying to ignore the thoughts which want to invade your mind. It’s a peaceful morning, where only a select few people wander the streets. A lone tear rolls down your cheek as you step through the entrance of the cemetery, and you make no move to wipe it away as you slowly make your way to Callie’s grave.

You smile softly when you see her grave coming into view. There are clear signs that people have been here recently, probably her parents, maybe even her grandma.

You sink to your knees right in front of the headstone, gently brushing away the fallen petals of the flowers which have been left behind. You carefully pick up one of the photos that’s leaning against the gravestone.

The tears come thick and fast, because it’s a photo of the two of you. One of the last ones you’d taken before her death, and your heart breaks all over again.

“Hey Cal, here we are. I can’t believe it’s been a year already,” you sigh softly, looking up at the sky briefly, before you allow yourself to look back at the headstone.

“So much has changed since… you’ve been gone. Especially in the last few days. Honestly it’s been kind of crazy. I guess I’m still not one hundred percent sure that I didn’t dream… well… all of it,” you chuckle to yourself as you wipe your eyes on your sleeve. “I need you now more than ever, God, I need you.” You let out a shuddered breath before continuing.

“That’s selfish, I know. I just miss you, so much. I miss your smile, your laugh, your advice and constant support. Nobody ever did get me the way you do… did, not sure they ever will again. I can practically hear your voice every time something big happens to me,” smiling at the thought you place the photo back against the headstone. “Things have definitely escalated with Stiles, to say the least. Beyond anything we ever talked about. I still can’t wrap my mind around it all.”

Remembering your other best friend, another wave of grief hits you.

“Josh still talks about you, all the time. He’s just full of regret, Callie. I know you probably don’t want to hear that, I’m sorry. But we both are, though his reasons are a little different to mine. I know you would lose your mind with what I’m about to tell you, if you were here.”

You smile fondly, thinking of her crush on Josh. “He wishes he’d told you about his feelings for you. Before that awful day that turned everyone's lives upside down. Before everything went wrong…. and you were taken from us. He loves you so much, I’m not sure he knows how to cope with the situation.”

Tears roll down your cheeks once again, showing no sign of stopping, as you wipe your arm across your face. Doing your best to focus on her name written in stone right in front of you, though it’s blurred with your tears.

“We both wish we’d been there to save you, to help, hell, to do something. I’m so sorry, Callie. I should have saved you…. somehow.” You whisper hoarsely, feeling the unbearable ache in your chest.

Pulling the letter from your pocket just like you have on every visit, you place it under the flower pot, in the small hole you’d made. Knowing that Callie’s parents likely read these letters every time they visited. You’d made no secret that you’d been leaving them there, and every time you returned the previous letter had been taken away. The amount you came to see her might seem strange to some people, but you couldn’t help it, maybe that would dwindle a little with time, though right now it felt like the right thing to do.

A shiver wracks your body as a gust of frosty wind blows through the cemetery, the bushes around you rustling. You wrap your arms around yourself, resting your head on your bent knees.

“I swear this gets harder every time I come here, Cal.”

You stiffen, feeling a presence behind you, without needing to turn around or even lift your head, you let out an irritated sigh.

“You of all people shouldn’t be here, especially not today. Not around me.”

“You still owe me. It’s been a year, grow a set, Love.”

Fury fills your every thought as you lift your head and quickly get to your feet, turning to face him.

“What the fuck are you talking about? You’ve got some nerve, you son of a bitch!”

“You’re still hot when you’re angry, princess. But don’t sass me, and leave my mother out of it would you. You know what I want. I’m here to collect.” He grins at you with those stupid white teeth, and you remember just how dangerous this man is. You’d fallen for his charms when he’d promised to protect Callie, if you went out on a date with him. He’d obviously been full of shit, since she was dead. He had seemed like the only option at the time. Scott was busy with the pack, and you hadn’t wanted to bother him over something that might have been all in your imagination. Something which you’d regretted to this day.

“Excuse me?! Collect on what, exactly? You promised me you would protect my best friend, which you clearly didn’t do! Since I’m sitting here at her graveside. So get fucked, James. We haven’t had anything to talk about, not for a long time.”

He’d lured you into a false sense of security when you’d first met. You were lonely, obsessed with your brother’s best friend, who’d never looked at you twice. Then this hot werewolf came along, promising you he wanted to be there for you, that he only wanted to help. You’d been an idiot to fall for it, but he was hot, charming, confident and seemingly capable. You would never fall for his shit again. However, he was dangerous, so you needed to tread carefully. At least that was what the smart part of your brain told you, unfortunately, you weren’t listening to that part, you were hurt, upset and consumed with thoughts of Callie. Not to mention your earlier interaction with Stiles.

“Stay the fuck away from me you scumbag,” you all but growl, your fists clenched at your sides.

James turning up out of nowhere after such a long time, and here of all places had your common sense at breaking point.

However, before you can act you’re pressed against a tree with his big hand wrapped around your throat.

“What the fuck did you just say to me, you ungreatful little bitch?!” he snarls, his face impossibly close to your own.

“You’re kidding me right! She’s dead! You didn’t do shit, James. There is no deal! What exactly should I be grateful for?” You grit out, trying to ignore the pain in your throat when his grip tightens.

He leans in closer, running his nose along the side of your neck inhaling deeply.

“Still just as pure as last time, in all the ways that matter to me anyway.” He chuckles deeply, as he pins your arms above your head with his free hand.

You shiver in disgust as he licks up the side of your neck with a groan, “get the fuck off of me.”

Suddenly he stiffens against you and you jolt in his grip as he rips your t-shirt down to reveal the rest of your neck and collarbone, and you immediately know what he’s seen.

“Who’s fucking touched you. You were supposed to be mine, you whore.”

Before you can even think of a reply a deep rumbling growl fills the graveyard, and you shiver involuntarily in his hold and a whimper slips past your lips. That growl is quickly followed by a few others, but the ground shaking roar fills you with relief.

James tosses you aside and turns to face the pack of wolves who are quickly advancing on you both. Your eyes fix on your brother immediately, the tension and fury coming off of him is palpable. You force yourself to climb to your feet, but you don’t dare to go around James. You know how quick his reflexes are.

So instead you try to focus somewhere else to calm your nerves, but as much as you try to avoid Stiles’ gaze, it’s like a magnet pulling you in, and when your eyes lock his eyes begin to glow purple. You hadn’t noticed that James had edged closer to you until it was too late, and his hand was wrapped in your hair tightly.

“Let her go.” Scott demands as you’re forced to your knees. Scott’s eyes begin to glow red with the power of the Alpha that flows through him.

To James’ credit he does well to hide his flinch, but not well enough judging by the looks on the packs’ faces. Everyone except Stiles, who is now standing at Scott’s side, still focused on you. Scott reaches out just in time to stop Stiles from taking another step towards you.

“What’s it to you? You’re the true Alpha, right? So go find your own bitches to play with. This one is all mine, and she needs to be taught a lesson about what happens when she disobeys me.”

Scott’s smirk is dangerous as he takes a step forward, and you can’t help but wince as James’ grip tightens in your hair.

“Even if I ignore the fact that there’s a woman being held by you, who clearly has no interest. I can’t exactly ignore the fact that she’s my twin sister, and she’s in trouble. So, here’s how this is going to go, you can either let her go right now, or I’ll make sure you regret it.”

James remains silent as he stares back at Scott, you try to pull your head away as he lowers his mouth to your ear, “you can go for now. Just know, I will find you again, when nobody is around to save your ass. When you’re all alone again, I’ll finally take what you owe me.” The threat is as clear as the anger in his voice, he throws you forward with so much force you land at Scott’s feet.

Scott reaches for you to help you up, but sudden movement has you distracted as you watch Stiles walk forward.

“You so much as speak about Sadie like that again, and I will fucking hunt you down and rip your throat out. You touch her again and you’ll damn well pay for it. You want someone to blame for the marks on her, you’re looking at him.”

“It was you?!” James spits as he squares up once again, and Stiles just smirks at him.

“Stiles, don’t.” You rasp, stepping in front of him and resting your hands on his chest, until he looks down at you.

His eyes drop to your neck, probably seeing the marks from James’ hands on your skin. His fingers gently touch the skin as his eyes move back to yours.

“Stiles, get her out of here.” Scott demands as the rest of the pack move in behind him, pushing you and Stiles to the back of the group.

Swallowing hard, Stiles moves his eyes away from your neck and to your surprise he takes your hand, gently tugging you along with him, until you start to follow on your own. You’re surprised, but extremely glad that he actually listened to Scott for once without argument.

“Are you okay?” Stiles asks hoarsely, as his fingers tighten over yours, he instinctively pulls you closer to his body.

Things still feel a little awkward and strained between the two of you. However, there’s no denying that you feel yourself relaxing now that you’re close again. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop your feelings from this morning, resurfacing.

“Yeah, I’m fine Stiles. Thanks for coming for me,” you sigh softly, looking around the forest as you continue to walk away. The sounds of anyone else, all that noise it just disappears, until it’s just the two of you.

“Of course we came for you,” he sighs in reply, and you drop his hand now you know nobody is watching, and wrap your arms around yourself. Unfortunately the feelings from this morning return completely as do his words, repeating on a loop in your mind.

You scoff, unable to help yourself. You move quickly, coming to a stop causing Stiles to follow suit. Allowing you to walk in front of him, so that you’re face to face.

“Why, because I’m Scott’s little sister? Because I’m your responsibility now? Let me save you the trouble Stiles, you’re under no obligation to save me! I was fine before you decided that I was worth your time, and I’ll be just fine after you leave!” You all but scream at him, feeling the anger surging through your body. Somewhere deep inside you know you’re angry at him, furious even, but there’s a very small part of you that feels as though not all of this anger is being aimed in the right direction, but it’s like you just can’t control yourself.

Stiles looks taken aback for a moment, though you can see that your words have hit their target, and hit hard by the look of hurt that crosses his face. Although he also looks worried, he still steps closer, and you clench your fists at your sides as he cups your cheeks in his hands.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry, Sadie. I was such a fucking idiot this morning, you caught me off guard, and as usual my stupid mouth said shit I hadn’t even processed yet. What I should have said was that I was scared to tell you, of all people, what had happened to me. I was worried you’d see me differently, stop giving me shit, and I couldn’t lose that look you give me when nobody was watching us.” You feel your anger beginning to calm as he rests his forehead on your own.

“I should’ve told you that I was too chicken shit to make a move before all of this happened, that I’ve never been happier to have almost died. And now that I know how good we are together, I can’t imagine being away from you. I should’ve told you that although it’s only been a day and a half, everything with us feels beyond right,” he takes your hand and rests it over his heart, you let your fist unclench as he lifts his eyes to yours, you feel a tear slide down your cheek. “You calm this beast inside me… well in all the ways that matter at least.” He smirks at you and you feel a smile tugging at your lips.

“Well, I suppose that is a much better answer. You always ramble when you get nervous.” You agree with a smile wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer as he buries his nose in your neck, inhaling deeply.

You wince when his fingers brush the bruises forming on your throat, and you feel the growl in his throat before you even hear it.

“He wont fucking get away with this, Sadie. I promise you. If Scott doesn’t make him pay, I will. Nobody should lay their fucking filthy hands on you.”

Trying to lighten the mood a little, you tip his chin so your eyes meet. Doing your best to take the attention away from the thing that’s making his mood sour.

“Well, everyone except you, of course.”

The purple flares in his eyes as he backs you up against the closest tree. You can’t stop the whimper from slipping past your lips as his body presses in tightly against your own.

“Was that an invitation?” he asks gently, tugging your head back by your hair, so that he can press soft kisses to your throat, masking the other man's scent on your body the best way he knows how.

The kisses come to a stop just as fast as they’d started as Stiles pulls away to look you in the eye.

“Why did you stop!? It was definitely an invitation,” you pout at him, trying to pull off your sulkiest look.

He groans in regret, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, “look, I need to say this before I lose the nerve, as much as I hate to admit it, not everything you said this morning can be talked away between the two of us this quickly.”

Swallowing thickly you meet his eyes, “what do you mean?”

He looks unsure of himself as he runs a hand through his hair, settling on scratching the back of his neck.

“We do need to go see Deaton. Sooner rather than later, you do need your options as much as it kills me that this might come back to haunt me. But we also need to find out what else he knows.”

“I was upset, Stiles. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“I know you were, with good reason. Sadie this isn’t some kind of trick, I just want you to have all of your options. If we keep going, you know, with this thing between us. Then I think we need to fully understand what you’re getting yourself into, and honestly, I really need to know what the hell is going on with me.” Stiles tells you nervously but with so much passion you’re no longer able to argue.

You sigh sadly before wrapping your arms around his neck again.

“I know you’re right, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

“Trust me, I want to slap myself right now.” Stiles sighs, sitting down leaning back against the tree.

You smile and carefully straddle his body, gently sitting down in his lap.

“Okay, so say I agree to go. Will you tell me how long you noticed me watching you?”

You giggle as that playful expression crosses his face and he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close.

“You weren’t exactly subtle, Minx.”

“So how long?” you whisper against his lips.

“A few years. I liked it, you’re so beautiful, so smart, like my forbidden little secret,” he murmurs quietly, softly brushing the hair back from your face.

“You should know it was much longer, I had so much planned for you. Still do.”

“Come on, don’t do this to me, not now. I’ve always loved that bad girl sparkle in your eyes.”

You can’t help but grin, and the thick bulge you’re now sitting on is only putting a strain on your self control.

“And you never thought about making a move?”

Stiles bites his bottom lip as his grip tightens around you.

“Oh, trust me. I thought about it regularly. Things have changed though, I won’t fuck you, or make love to you or mark you, not until we know everything. Then as soon as we do and you make a decision. If you choose me, I promise you, a pack of wolves couldn’t stop me from taking and marking what’s mine.”

You moan at his words just before his lips crash against yours, you get lost in the passion as you grind your hips against his, the two of you holding onto each other like the world is going to end. Suddenly Stiles pulls away and his hands grip your hips halting your movements.

“What is it?” you whisper sensing his distress.

“Someone’s coming, trust me and stay close,” He whispers in reply, carefully getting to his feet, he pushes you behind him.

“No matter what happens just promise you’ll stay behind me.” He sniffs the air and his body stiffens under your hands.

“Oh, Mischief,” a haunting voice calls and a shiver races up your spine, you know that voice.

Tags:

@julzdec @lettersofwrittencollective @mogaruke @lilulo-12fanfiction @charmed-asylum @defenderrosetyler @emilyshurley @foxyjwls007 @mylovelydame21 @akshi8278 @peaches0007 @stylesismyhubs @peachyyybabyy @fantasy-myth1 @death-unbecomes-you @coffeebooksandfandom @magssteenkamp @screamxqueenx94 @brien-odylan @riseandshinelittleblossom @ceceliaking-18 @mrs-mitch-rapp93 @missindecision @deans-number-one-fan @onethirstyunicorn @amberboo329 @chewie-redbird @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @ilovewriting06

#stiles stilinski #teen wolf #my brother's best friend #chapter 5 #teenwolf #stiles teen wolf #stiles stilinski x reader #stiles stilinski x you

28 notes · View notes

marshallpupfan · 5 months

Text

Marshall Merchandise Update!

I sometimes wonder if I should number these merchandise update posts, but I'm honestly not sure how many I've made since I first started doing this. Let's just pick a number at random and say it's #23.

In any case, I managed to add a few new items to my Marshall collection today. Nothing too big, but they're still pretty cool, imo.

Okay, so... I made a post last night about how I was lamenting the lack of holiday-themed PAW Patrol merchandise this year. Well, as it turns out... I'm a dummy, because I completely forgot about buying this thing a few weeks ago. I didn't show it off at the time because I wanted to have a few other items to show off with it.

Actually, when I first seen this thing on Ebay, I thought it was an older ornament. I'd never seen one like it before, and when I Google-searched it, the results came up empty. I thought I found another rare ornament, so I quickly snatched it up! You can imagine my surprise when I got it and, upon inspecting the tag... it said "2023". Oops. lol

In any case, this ornament's from "Primark". The tag even says it's hand-painted (you can kind of tell, honestly). Strangely, it's not listed on their site, unless I'm just looking in the wrong place. Only one has appeared on Ebay so far, and I haven't seen it anywhere else at all yet. Well, there's some store out there selling them, but I know not which one... all I know is I'm happy to have one. :)

Next, a "Slow-Rise Squishies". They also come in Chase and Skye, too.

Unless I'm mistaken, you can't find these in the USA right now. Yup, this is another imported item! From Canada, in fact (thankfully, the shipping was low). Admittedly, the likeness is pretty spot on, not to mention it's bigger than I expected it to be. I think it's pretty cool!

Last.... er... this thing. It's just something I randomly found on Ebay one day, so I decided to bid on it. Admittedly, it's also bigger than I expected (around 4 inches tall - the Squishies is slightly taller, at 4.75). Sadly, it's not in the best condition, but I can't say I'm too surprised. I'm honestly lucky to find any previously-owned item in good condition, especially given the age group these toys are meant for.

I'm not sure, but I suspect this thing may not be official. Typically, each item, even if it's a small piece in a set, has some sort of number or information on it. I've posted a few examples above, just to show you what I mean. This item, however, doesn't seem to have any such thing. Maybe there are exceptions, but chances are, it's an imitation you can find cheap somewhere. Despite that, I think it matches the character close enough, so I've no problem including it in my collection. It wouldn't be the first counterfeit in there (and likely won't be the last, since I still have my eye on a few I'd like to buy someday).

That's all for now! I can't say if I'll find too much more by the end of the year, so this'll probably be it for 2023. Chances are, the next items I show off will be the Jungle Pups toys, unless something unexpected pops up between then. Maybe I'll get lucky and find some of those Canadian-exclusive items... but I wouldn't bet money on that. lol

12 notes · View notes

matan4il · 6 months

Note

It's been a month since the lives of every Jew around the world was changed and I know that I for one will never fully recover from this. I'm sending you and everyone I know in Israel so much love and support because I know that at least I can live relatively untouched by what's happening.

I desperately want to talk to my non-jewish friends about what's going on but I honestly still have no idea how to do so because the situation is so unbelievably horrific that without having actual family and friends involved (or living in Israel), I don't think it's possible for anyone to appreciate how fucking terrifying everything is.

The news broke today of an American Jew dying after being attacked at a pro-palestine rally and there has been zero coverage of this outside of Jewish circles. I still check behind me when I commute because I'm afraid someone is gonna push me under a train because I am Jewish.

I joked, in the dark way that a lot of us do, that would I have to die for the gentiles to take the Jews' fears seriously and now someone has, it's clear that is being murdered in broad daylight (and not ok Israel because apparently it's clear that being in Israel invalidates your right to life in a lot of people's eyes) isn't enough to even get people to listen to us.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Hi, love! Sorry it took me a moment. I'm doing my best, but I hope you know that my heart is always with you!

I feel exactly the same. My life will never be the same. Everything feels different. And we will heal, but scars this deep, they don't disappear. They will always be there. We have been forever changed. And I think that's... I think that's a Jewish experience that many former generations had, and we fooled ourselves to think the generation of the Holocaust would be the last one to go through this.

IDK what advice to give you on talking to your non-Jewish friends. I can tell you I've had many who reached out to me, and it's been so heartwarming. I've had three that I reached out to, but pretty much because I saw them spreading hate filled posts, and I thought they could, and would want, to do better. That didn't really work out, but then I guess if they were extreme enough that I felt compelled to reach out to them, maybe this attempt never really stood a chance. All I know is that I do feel better for having tried. But if you have friends who are not that far gone, yet they haven't been talking to you about this, then maybe an option would be to tell them that you need to share your feelings and thoughts. People often shy away from politics, but if they're really your friends, then they would listen to you sharing these more personal aspects of what's been going on.

Yes, the news about Paul Kessler's homicide were horrifying. A 69 years old man shouldn't have to be scared to go out expressing what he thinks in a free, democratic society. Please, do be careful! What this world should be, it clearly isn't.

I'm gonna be honest, after everything our people had gone through, I'd rather Jews be alive and hated, than spoken of compassionately, but dead. If the world had shown full empathy for every single one of the massacre's victims, I would still give all of that empathy away to have our people back, alive and well, unharmed. What's insane is that even dead Jews no longer get any empathy, not in Israel, and not outside it, as you've pointed out. So many people who claim to be reblogging anti-Israel posts, because they value human life, have failed to reblog anything condemning the massacre, or the rise in antisemitism, or mourn Paul.

IDK what we can do other than be there for each other, and speak up as much as we can, and where and when it's safe for us. I am sending you so much love, and the softest of hugs, okay? Please do let me know how you're doing, if you feel like it. xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

15 notes · View notes

eriyu · 9 months

Text

i beat xvi so here are my reactions from along the way

for posterity (my future self is posterity)

i did not do this in any kind of organized way like i think i skipped writing anything down for big portions of the game;;;

spoilers obviously. and also after this i'm going to start reblogging xvi things including spoilers tagged #ffxvi so. be warned.

i guess i'll link my demo impressions because this is basically a continuation of that.

a mite predictable so far....... though i did think cid was gonna crystallize instead of regular dying.

GODDDDDD i wish there were a chatlog. or at least that dialogue were progressed manually. i don't have the focus for this shit when i can't even rewind it.

i love the combat a lot. which is weird to think seeing as i'm very much a turn-based fan and really. don't play action games ever. but it feels very kingdom hearts to me? there's even shotlock.

THE BIG MOMENTS ARE SO SO GOOD. A+ ON THE MELODRAMA.

clive is prime whump material and i love it.

some of the worldbuilding is a little baffling... mostly ORCS? REALLY? WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY CLASSIC FF OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM.

personal preference i guess but i feel like they could chill with the "mature content" a bit....... how many sidequests do we need to drive home how shit Bearers are treated. how many random sex workers does one game need.

i was going to complain about linearity, but things opened up nicely soon after i thought it, so props there LOL

i know it's supposed to be "dark" but like.... i want to fall in love with a game world. i want to wish i lived there. i want unique local flavors and COLOR. most of this so far is just generic medieval squalor. even places like the treno slums had beautiful waterways and plucky npcs and... COLOR...

jill feels like......... an afterthought. sometimes she's there; sometimes she's not, and it doesn't seem to matter either way. she barely talks. we haven't seen shiva in game since we first met back up with her. there's a vague implication that jill's doing important things but that's kind of it???

jill update: okay Things Happening but like. now she's out of commission? i'm getting sacrificed-for-man-pain vibes. i don't know; it's too soon to say that, but it just doesn't feel great.

the state of the realm UI is SOOOOO good. it's a bit of an overload in the way xiii's datalog was, but it's fine if i remind myself i can read things Later.

oh my god i love shotlocking a zillion enemies in a tornado.

i really love mid but "midadol" sounds like a pharmaceutical.

CANON GAYS?????

ultima looks like a tumblr lumpy-faced reptilian oatmeal man.

the voice acting is so good. like clive's screaming and crying reminds me of dub gaara's "MY BLOOOOOOD" which is the highest compliment i can possibly give.

oh my godddddddd the fighting at twinside is giving alexandria. again, in the best possible way.

okay seriously where the fuck is leviathan though. i keep wondering when leviathan is going to show up and i'm starting to think he's... not.

jesus christ i couldn't stop thinking about clive and joshua and dion today. i want to eat them.

look i KNOW clive and josh had a really good reunion moment in twinside but consider this: i want another one. i think they should have had another one at the hideaway. i want more tenderness. i deserve more tenderness.

they pronounce "chocobo" AND "popoto" with a short o in the middle like "chock" and "pot" and i'm so uncomfortable.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME. WE LIKE JUST PROMISED JOTE WE'D KEEP JOSHUA SAFE AND NOW WE'RE SPLITTING UP. i'm so afraid everybody will die.

all the xiv references ;w; for some reason it's the quest names that keep getting me??? "through the maelstrom" this time.

i REALLY really wish jill's character didn't just revolve around clive.............. is my impression but i don't know if that's entirely fair of me. like if i made a list of bullet points i don't know that she's any worse than say, tifa with cloud. but it Feels worse. i WANT to love her, but i'm just not feelin' it.

god i want to be able to switch between two eikon/ability sets. i want a single-target setup and a trash mob setup. not even to switch mid-battle; i know that could be OP, just switchable in the menu.

i legit panic every time joshua leaves the party. like NO we're supposed to be WATCHING HIM??????? EVERYBODY IS GOING TO DIE IF I LET MY GUARD DOWN. also i love him. i can't stop thinking about him. continuing the proud tradition of square enix joshuas (being loved by me).

"EVEN LEVIATHAN THE LOST IS HERE" OH THANK FUCK.

uhhhhhhhhhh active time lore is absolutely giving me spoilers? MAJOR spoilers??? what the hell????????

reverie givin' me legend of dragoon vibes. like wingly stuff. i love it.

daaAAAAAMN zantetsuken OP????? but as it should be tbh. i love it.

hey

HEY

i'm sad.

for real i. i feel like i'm not as upset as i COULD be because i was really emotionally preparing for Everyone to Die through the whole game. but wow. this still hurts.

i actually got maliciously spoiled with "clive dies" before i even got the game in my hands and partly succeeded at not letting that ruin the experience for me, but. damn i had a little bit of hope that it was a fake spoiler until i saw his hand.....

jesus christ though. ow.

i mean it was a largely satisfying ending. the fights were good. the Moral of the Story felt a lil heavyhanded but i do love the Power of Friendship. it could have been a lot sadder. but i'm such a sucker for a real happy ending o|--<

i think trying to brute force myself into liking jill more has made me like her less;;;;;;;;; i will try a different approach. her getting left behind for the end didn't help though. for the record i'm talking about liking her as a character. she's a perfectly lovely person.

holy fuck i'm emotional about joshua though.

oh no the post-credit scene made me sadder. it feels like a character flaw of mine but anything about losing magic, ever, makes me SO SO SAD. even when i KNOW it's supposed to make for a happy ending. like in kiki's delivery service when she can't hear jiji anymore??? fucking destroys me and not in the good way.

and joshua........... o|--<

i've really been looking forward to finishing so i could go look up shippy things but i just feel like. oof. now. i need to marinate for a while first. this isn't the time for shipping.

#eriyu has an irl #ff #ffxvi

2 notes · View notes

somerpmemes · 2 years

Text

Hilda S2 Starters

Change as needed

“Wait, this doesn’t make any sense.”

“You never told me about that.”

“It all turned out in the end.”

“Such is the life of an adventurer.”

“I mean, I don’t tell you every little thing that happens to me.”

“I’m a bit of a wild card myself.”

“A little loud, but thrilling nonetheless.”

“Wow, you can really see how far the city stretches from up here!”

“Safety waits for no one!”

“That’s the last time I let you take the scenic route.”

“Today isn’t what I hoped it would be.”

“But if you want to make history, you have to make it happen.”

“Go for the ankles!”

“Wait… did it work?”

“How much worse can our luck get?”

“No offense, but I’d really like to avoid being drowned or eaten.”

“So, we’re running away and assuming new identities then?”

“Back to disrespect me further?”

“Do you know anything that pairs well with pink coral?”

“Explanations aren’t really my strong suit.”

“Update! It’s not going well.”

“We’ll need a photo shoot.”

“You can’t take credit for that!”

“Looks like this is gonna be harder than I thought.”

“Something weird is definitely going on here.”

“The secret room has a secret room?”

“We don’t do that kind of thing anymore.”

“Time doesn’t lie, dearie.”

“This is highly irregular.”

“You shouldn’t have come here.”

“This was very stupid of you.”

“She’s accomplished and scary.”

“This should be entertaining.”

“That felt cool.”

“How did you know how to do that?”

“There’s always time for tea.”

“I find it’s always easier to really see things when you’re looking down the sights of your favorite crossbow.”

“What a wonderful demonstration of witchcraft.”

“What are you listening to?”

“You brought a stowaway?”

“Oh, sweet independence.”

“That doesn’t look like the recommended course.”

“It’s getting dark, we better make camp.”

“What? I like lite rock.”

“Just built wrong, I guess.”

“All in all, your injuries are not that bad.”

“The thing about bravery is, I’ve not got any.”

“Time to take today by the horns.”

“Foolish plants! No grass will stand in my way!”

“What a bracing chill!”

“Okay… something’s amiss here.”

“I don’t know what I expected but it was not that.”

“This does not seem to be going that well.”

“Fear was holding me back and I was holding you back.”

“This is grim.”

“It’s just a lot of nothingness, right.”

“Well, this is creepy.”

“I don’t get many human visitors.”

“I bake now.”

“I’ll be outside, taking photos of birds.”

“Okay, there’s literally nothing here.”

“I knew you were up to something!”

“I still think you’re crazy but I guess you’re not dangerous crazy.”

“We’ve got to get there as quickly as physically possible.”

“Please don’t take offense, I just had this feeling that you might try and stop me.”

“I wish I hadn’t asked.”

“I’m finally on the brink of doing something wonderful.”

“You haven’t changed at all.”

“This isn’t your world!”

“We’re going to miss our chance!”

“You see the best in people, I think that’s a good thing.”

“It’s one of the world’s greatest mysteries.”

“You’d think they’d have that all figured out by now.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Must we sneak out the window?”

“If we use the front door, it’s not sneaking out, is it?”

“Seems combat is the only option.”

“I’m great at looking at things.”

“I’ll need you with me, for protection.”

“I’m surprised you wanted to come.”

“I’m a bit sick of looking at them, to be honest.”

“You’re on your own from here.”

“Such sweet redundancy.”

“I don’t know if that was a question or…?”

“All this lying is going to catch up with you.”

“Wow, they are really bad shots.”

“What? I thought everybody knew that.”

“This is beginning to sound like an insult.”

“We have to investigate.”

“I suppose that’s within the letter of the law, if not the spirit.”

“My, you’re good with loopholes.”

“You’re a bit young for the night life.”

“The past is the past, you don’t mess with it.”

“I never knew I had it in me.”

“Will you stop pulling me?”

“Don’t make out like this is my fault, you did it too!”

“Uh, I really don’t think time is on our side, ___.”

“Am I doing the right thing?”

“I wasn’t thinking about the consequences back then.”

“I can say with some certainty that that was the longest 35 minutes of my entire life.”

“Told you I wouldn’t be long.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain this.”

“You snooze, you lose your shoes!”

“Well, this is new.”

“You are the legal owner of this creature, correct?”

“You know, it’s not a good idea to wander into a forest if you don’t know where you’re going.”

“Sometimes it’s better to retrace old steps than it is to forge new paths.”

“We keep moving, however long it takes.”

“Come back a bit, you don’t need to get so close to the edge.”

“This got steep fast.”

“Just watch your footing and move very slowly.”

“Have you ever seen anything like this?”

“If this is what you want then you should go.”

“It’s the way of the world for things to change.”

“But that’s all it is, memories.”

“Things are going to be different from now on, I promise.”

“I’m certain that house wasn’t there yesterday.”

“If they didn’t want us to come in, they should have locked the door.”

“You shouldn’t sneak up on people.”

“I don’t usually trust food that isn’t candle-based.”

“Perhaps that was not the best plan.”

“That’s terrifying! Tell me more.”

“What have I told you about screaming in the middle of the night?”

“You didn’t tell me that they glow.”

“You owe me so much candy.”

“Wowzers.”

“The great big world is calling me, ___, and I’m gonna heed its call.”

“Say, you’ve got a nice face.”

“So, somebody is in trouble?”

“I haven’t had the opportunity for mischief.”

“All of this could have been avoided if you’d just read the footnotes.”

“That can’t be a good sign.”

“I don’t think this is normal.”

“I haven’t had this much fun since I don’t know when!”

“I don’t get out much.”

“Not the weirdest thing that has happened to me today.”

“It’s been another long, eye-opening, somewhat harrowing day.”

“This is very odd.”

“Looks like we’ll have to settle this with combat!”

“Do you ever feel as if you’re surrounded by people who just don’t get it?”

“The important thing is it worked.”

“Magic is 99% focus and only 1% hocus pocus.”

“We’ll be able to see where we’re going when the sun is up.”

“An abandoned pie. Now that’s eerie.”

“But it’s still so dark.”

“Come on, I think we should make a move.”

“I was just being dramatic!”

“This seems like the perfect time to panic!”

“Really? You want to do this?”

“That’s all the waiting I can do.”

“I can’t tell if we’re being rescued or if we’re about to get eaten.”

“Let’s not run.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can endure this place.”

“It’s sort of unnerving that you’re here.”

“I’m sorry about everything.”

“If you don’t tell me what’s going on, then how do I know you’re safe?”

“You really don’t wish I was different?”

“I’m not getting out of bed for a week.”

#starters #rp starters #sentence starters #sentence starter meme #rp #rp meme #ask meme #Hilda

17 notes · View notes

squishmallow36 · 2 years

Text

Keeper of the Lost Prepositions - Sixty

Word count: 2.8k

Tw: canon-typical violence, misgendering as it pertains to Keefe

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-fruity-frog @poppinspop @crystallinewalker @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @never-mourn-the-good @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @cotyledon-tomentosa @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @blossomsxgalorex @callum-hunt-is-bisexual

On Ao3 or below the cut!

Tuesday comes after many hours of work, mostly consisting of Fitz’s Alchemy homework, because he kept distracting me. It’s not his fault, though. Can’t blame him for genetics. And I slept for a lot of the remaining hours. Getting up early surprisingly makes you tired early.

But then going to bed two hours before usual doesn’t make getting up in the morning any easier.

When I do finally drag myself out of bed, I check my Imparter to make sure nothing has happened while I was away from it.

To my surprise, the virus I sent to Gisela finally came back with an IP address. I would be more excited that it actually worked if I were more awake.

I forward everything to Marella, trusting that she’ll share it with Linh, Maruca, and Stina before she torches the place.

I’m not going to risk waiting until the end of the day because then I would be the one getting torched, before the Neverseen are.

After that, I call functions getReadyForSchool() and goToSchool(), dragging the triplets along with me.

Because it’s Tuesday, the first class is PE. The best of days, it’s tolerable, the worst of days, it’s a horrible, horrible punishment.

Today’s going to be levitation, which typically falls closer to the latter end of the scale.

I’m tempted to fake a twisted ankle on one of the innumerable times I fall to escape to Elwin. I’m sure he’d understand.

But I keep watching Fitz out of the corner of my eye, mostly to make sure he doesn’t tweak his knee.

We’re released from our torture and escape to lunch. I know we talked about something there, but I’m more focused on the fact that Linh and Marella aren’t here.

I know exactly where they are and I just hope they haven’t gotten themselves into too much trouble. But going to rescue them without them calling through their panic switches could endanger them further.

So I sit here, worrying uselessly.

I only have so long before the bell rings, signalling the end of lunch and the beginning of Technopathy.

Lady Iskra tries to talk to me for the first fifteen minutes, per usual. In return, I give her as few details about what I’ve been doing recently, also per usual.

During the first maybe half of class, Lady Iskra has me test a new function for the next update of Imparters, before letting me go work on whatever project I want.

It’s very similar to the arrangement I had with Tinker, now that I think about it.

No, brain, Lady Iskra can’t possibly be Tinker. They’re in Black Swan custody, for starters.

I get a livestream set up with Sophie so that if Gisela does happen to hail me, he can see it as it’s happening. No information delay that way.

Hopefully Tiergan doesn’t mind too much if her Imparter goes off in the middle of Fitzphie cognate training time. Hm. I have much less jealousy over that than I would have a few months ago.

Although I wouldn’t admit that I was jealous. And I still thought I was straight at that point. That could’ve been an interesting train of thought back then.

Once I think the code is working, I ask Sophie to run a trial just to make sure it all works. Because pretty much nothing will work on the first try, but it compiles and the audio is so far understandable. There’s no way to know how long before the whole system collapses. Better to not stress it until we need it.

Technology can be like that sometimes.

When the room shakes with a low vibration, I should have known that my program working was a bad sign.

You are literally next to Galvin’s classroom. The kid next door must’ve blown up yet another one of their lessons. I should offer to help. Maybe when I don’t have to worry about the Neverseen on a daily basis.

I go back to my work, cleaning up the comments on my new screen recording program so maybe it’ll hold itself together a little more if the compiler doesn’t have to read them through all the loops.

That’s not how that works but I’m still hopeful.

My Imparter buzzes on the table, and I’m kind of expecting it to be from Fitz, but no. It wouldn’t be that simple.

It would be from Gisela, telling me to get myself out of class, whatever excuse I had to make.

I tell Lady Iskra, “I have to go to the bathroom,” to which she lets me go without arguing.

While I’m walking, I shoot Sophie a text explaining that we’re going to have to enact my plan sooner than expected. As in the next five minutes or less.

I lock myself into the bathroom, hoping that no one bothers me in here before messaging Gisela, Okay. I’ve got like five minutes. Make this quick.

I connect the livestream so Sophie can hear everything going on, and Gisela hails me somewhere in the land of ten to fifteen seconds later.

“Dexter,” she greets, video not connecting over the Imparter.

“Gisela,” I reply, turning the camera towards the ceiling. She has no need to see me.

“Get your new gadgety thing you finished yesterday and come meet me in the cafeteria. I’ll explain more when you get here.”

She clicks off. “Why on Earth did you have to hail me then?” I grumble, angry that I set up the whole screen recording program.

“Sophie, Fitz, hopefully you can hear me but I’m going to keep you on for the moment. You’ll get dragged into this mess soon enough, you might as well stay updated.”

I get to the Cafeteria, after grabbing the ability amplifier from my locker, and Gisela isn’t there. I don’t let myself hope that she fell over like the beginning of an episode of House in the last three minutes.

But no, she just hung back to make a dramatic entrance. The entire Neverseen used to be headed by Fintan. It’s expected that dramatic entrances are part of their training.

I wonder if I’ll stick around long enough for that.

“Thank you for meeting me, Dexter. Would you be so gracious as to give me the gadget?”

“Not if you keep calling me Dexter,” I mutter, giving it to her.

“What?”

“Nothing! Nothing.”

She studies me for a moment before deciding that it isn’t worth it. “You’ve been most helpful. Now, could you do one more thing for me? Could you call Sophie and Fitz over here? I’m sure you can figure out a reason.”

I pull out my Imparter, shutting off the livestream, so it doesn’t echo when I hail Sophie.

“Hey, Sophie. Sorry to bother you, but can you and Fitz meet me in the Cafeteria? Tell Tiergan hi for me.”

“Yeah,” she replies. “Just give me one second to get down there.”

In fact, he takes thirty-six seconds to get here, and when she notices Gisela, he does his best to look surprised.

Fitz is less successful than she is.

“Sophie, Fitz, it’s so nice to see you here. How have you been?” Gisela says, sickeningly sweet.

I can hear Fitz’s knuckles pop in response from across the room.

“I’ve been well, thanks for asking. Now, I don’t want to waste any more of your time than I must. Do either of you know where Keefe is? That goes for your bodyguards as well.”

Fitz snorts, and Sophie barely bites back an insult. I can tell when he wants to go off on someone. Usually it’s Alvar, though.

“Fine. I gave you a chance. I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.”

I keep myself from smiling with some difficulty because I am getting some serious Mother Gothel vibes from Gisela right now.

Distracted for a moment, I don’t see the cloaked Neverseen member enter the room.

Gisela asks, “Are you absolutely certain you don’t know where my son is?”

“Yeah, um, about that,” Fitz begins, and Gisela’s face lifts with tentative hope. “Your kid, Keefe, is nonbinary and uses all neopronouns. I know you won’t actually acknowledge that fact, but it’d be wrong to not correct you. Also, while we’re at it, zae’s pansexual.”

Ooh, that’s a fun neo set.

“And how, exactly, did you come to know this information?”

“Maybe ce told me, did you think of that?” Fitz snaps.

Knowing he isn’t going to give up any information easily, Gisela makes a hand gesture to the very mysterious cloaked figure, who throws Fitz against the wall with a strong wind.

A sound escapes my throat, and I very narrowly avoid running to him.

“Did that happen to jog your memory?”

Gisela waits for a second before her presumably-guster-maybe-Trix cloaked friend starts cutting off Fitz’s air supply.

Star Wars force choking, anyone?

This is not the time, Dex.

Fitz’s hands fly up to his throat on instanct, and he gasps for breath that doesn’t come.

With each wheeze, I feel my will crumble.

I can’t let anything happen to him. Not while I can do something to prevent it.

“Stop it, stop it!” I yell. Fitz is starting to turn blue, and I can’t take it anymore.

Gisela turns to me. “Well, this is most unexpected.”

“I know where Keefe is. Do you want me to drag zir here myself?”

“Depends. Why did it take you so long to volunteer this information?”

“You didn’t ask,” I shrug. I know it’s a low effort explanation, but I don’t have anything better.

Gisela considers for a second before allowing, “Thank you, Dexter. You’ve been extraordinarily helpful.”

I turn to Fitz and Sophie, mouthing, “Sorry,” before running over to the Leapmaster and leaping to Everglen.

I race up the stairs and down the halls I’ve been down so many times before.

Opening the door, I’m half expecting Keefe to have taken over Fitz’s room, but ze’s hiding in his absolutely massive closet.

“Sorry, Keefe.” I say, noting how much I must have scared vem, throwing open hir door like that.

I kneel down in front of aer. “I need your help. Do you remember Fitz telling you about a vocal cord paralyzer? He probably didn’t use those words, knowing him. But did he ever mention some sort of alchemical solution at some point?”

Keefe hesitates.

“Please, Keefe. I need to know where he stashed it.”

Keefe shakes jaer head, scribbling out a note. Already been used.

I deflate. “Keefe, I need you to keep your mouth shut for me, okay?”

Ae pulls out a roll of duct tape and tapes syr mouth shut.

“I’d explain more, but it’s a very long story that we don’t have time for retelling, and I need you to come with me.”

Keefe gives me a note with a single word: Gisela?

I nod solemnly.

Keefe stands, tapping cer foot to get rid of the nervous energy pent up inside zem. Sae pulls me up, hand shaking ever so slightly.

I wrap nym in a hug, trying to communicate how sorry I am about everything that's happening and my part to help it progress without apologising a hundred thousand times.

Pulling away, I say, “You don’t have to do this. I could say that you’ve run off again.”

Keefe shakes ver head, trying to open lim mouth against the duct tape to explain. I know it’s basically going to boil down to nir tendency for self-sacrifice, more than likely for Sophie’s sake. I’ve heard that speech enough times by now.

Stars, I hate this. And I’m largely to blame. I should have just stayed irrelevant.

Keefe, being the empath that ey are, senses that train of thought and does faer best to give me a look that communicates that I should stop it in its tracks.

There’s time for self-pity later.

I take vim by the elbow and lead xir to the leapmaster, wrapping my consciousness around nem to make sure ce doesn’t take this as an attempt to escape.

We walk back down to the cafeteria, and Keefe starts acting like kyr’s being brought along involuntarily. I already gave zem a chance to escape and nix has never changed hir mind as long as I’ve known caer, so I know it’s not genuine.

“Ke’s here,” I say once I’m actually in the room, still holding on to Keefe.

Gisela turns to me. “I thank you. Now, if you’d bring him here.” She holds out a hand, the amplifier in the other.

“Not if you’re going to keep misgendering em.”

She fixes a glare on me. “Need I remind you that you aren’t the one with bargaining chips here?”

I turn to maybe-Trix before Gisela has the chance to make them suffocate anyone in the room. “Trix, that’s your name, right?”

They nod.

“Agree or disagree? Respecting people’s names and pronouns is a basic right.”

I can’t see their face but when Gisela gestures to them, a light breeze makes goosebumps rise along my arms. I look around, terrified of who’s going to be suffocated next, but it doesn’t come.

Slowly, I allow myself to believe that at least one Neverseen member isn’t a total dirtbag. Still mostly, though, but not totally.

Gisela glances around, wondering why nothing’s happening. It’d be entertaining if she wasn’t such a manipulative witch.

“Fine, then, Dexter. Have it your way.” Gisela makes a face before holding out her hand once again. I have a feeling she’s going to avoid pronouns at all costs, but that’s better than nothing.

“She keeps calling you Dexter. What’s up with that?” Fitz’s accented voice asks. Stars, it’s so nice to hear him not choking on his own hyoid bone.

It’s kind of pathetic that that has to be the standard of expectations.

Not one to miss such a perfect opportunity, I reply, “Well, at least it’s better than Deck.”

“That was one time!” Fitz snaps. “Plus, we have that whole agreement thing that you’d break up with me if I did it again.”

I hold back a smile with difficulty.

Meanwhile, Gisela looks ready to recite the entire dictionary of swear words. Fitz does too, to a lesser extent.

But he’s capable of pulling himself together today and steps forward, voice low. “And I swear to each and every star in the sky that if you hurt my boyfriend, I will not hesitate to hurt you.”

He’s so sweet, isn’t he?

“Same goes for him. Although he’s probably the scarier one,” I reply.

“That’s simply because they haven’t spent enough time with you to know that you’re scary when you want to be.”

Gisela sighs. “Yes, yes, this is all very interesting. Are we going to stand around all day and listen to you two drool over each other?”

“I won’t object to that,” I say, and Fitz smiles.

“The correct answer is no,” Gisela snaps. “And you’re going to make good soldiers for my army.”

“I read somewhere that the Spartan army was made up of gay couples,” Sophie says.

“Also Achilles and Patroclus,” Fitz adds.

“All of Ancient Greece. Very gay.” I generalize.

“How do you people keep driving the conversation back to that?” Gisela grumbles. “You know what? I have my so--Keefe and he has the ability to make you all shut up.”

Fitz remarks, “You were doing so well…and then you went and messed up the pronouns.”

In response, Gisela tears the tape off of Keefe’s mouth before nodding to Trix.

They throw Sophie against the wall the same way they threw Fitz against the wall earlier, holding back from total suffocation.

Gisela takes a breath, looking at Keefe.

Fitz takes this opportunity to transmit to me, Hey, Dex, you might want to put in your earbuds if you have them on you. Keep you from hearing Keefe.

I should’ve had that idea, I think, only a little envious, stuffing my earbuds into my ears and hiding the cord the best I can in my school tunic.

I can still hear Keefe’s tapping foot, though slightly muffled, so I go and turn on white noise. It’ll be my best bet to make sure I don’t end up hearing zem accidentally.

Gisela puts earplugs into her ears, gesturing to Trix to do the same.

She says something that I can’t make out, and Keefe gives her a look.

Gisela launches into a very long speech, talking with her hands until Keefe can’t take it anymore and barely dares to whisper, as far as I can read from cir lips, “Control.”

#hey look it's a plot #are you proud of me #you should be #kotlc #detz #dex dizznee #fitz vacker #kotlc fanfic

7 notes · View notes

spiritofjustice · 1 year

Text

The final two chapters of my Mother 3 fic, A Change of Heart, are up!

Chapter 18: Lighter

READ HERE

Characters: Lighter | Caroline | Flint | Fuel | Angie | a whole lot of others playing bit parts Words: 8,724 Warnings for this chapter: N/A Summary: Lighter and Caroline finally tie the knot. Notes: Today is a double update since the next chapter is our final one. Don't forget to check out the last chapter, which should be up, when you've finished this one.

As always, thanks for reading.

Chapter 19: Leder

READ HERE

Characters: Leder | Wess | Hinawa | Flint Words: 8,619 Warnings for this chapter: Discussions of death Summary: Leder reflects on the past twenty years and the changes that have occurred in Tazmily since he revealed the truth. Notes: This is it. This is the final chapter of A Change of Heart. When I started this project five months ago, I wasn't sure if I was going to finish it. It wasn't that I didn't want to, just that I knew myself. I never finish projects I start. It's why I hadn't written a multi-chapter fic since I was 14. I DID have one short multi-chapter fic, Death Comes for Good Sons, that I wrote earlier this year, but that was a much simpler task. I didn't even intend for it to be multiple chapters. It was conceived as another one-shot, but it swelled to 19,000 words, and suddenly, I figured it was best to split it up.

In any case, that fic, as well as a 17,000 word novella I had to write for my college honors thesis, were the only two long-term writing projects I had completed since I was 14 years-old. I wrote plenty since I was 14, of course. I roleplayed a lot and wrote lots of one-shots. But I never touched multi-chapters anymore, because I rarely, if ever, finished them when I wrote them. I was discouraged by that knowledge. Up until now, the only multi-chap works I ever finished were very short.

This fic idea came to mind when I replayed Mother 3 for what must have been at least the fifth time back in June. I had liked a couple of the villagers, but didn't think much of them, like most people. But in chapter 3, I noticed that endearing line from Paul when he said he didn't want a Happy Box because happiness was standing right behind him. I thought his love for his wife was so adorable, and I rapidly grew to like him quite a bit. Then, all of the sudden, I notice I like Bob. And I notice I like Abbot, and Abbey, and Ed, and everyone else in town. Once I became open to liking Paul, it kind of made me realize just how terrific these characters truly were.

They were lovable, funny, and complex, far more than they ever seemed before. I feel like people so often write off the villagers as all being cruel or irredeemable, but I think a vast majority of them are good people, with few exceptions. I don't think they deserve the fans' scorn. Many were still kind, and even if they weren't… isn't Mother 3 about forgiveness? About hoping for something better? Couldn't these villagers learn to be better with their lives spared and learn to live harmoniously with each other and with the people they so unkindly scorned before? I certainly think so. But I digress.

I started imagining a few different scenarios, as I always daydream about the characters I like at length. The first idea I had, one I had conceived of even before I came to love the villagers as I do, was Pusher and Ollie's tale. But then it expanded. Then I thought about that scene of Elmore and Pusher arguing in the bar about whether they should tell Ollie about what happened. Then I thought about Bob and Donna divorcing. Little by little, each piece came together, and suddenly, I realized… I could write this all. I could make these daydreams a reality.

I went out on a limb and decided to jot down all my ideas. Not all the ideas made it in, and had I not cut some, the chapter count probably would have been about 22-24 if I had to guess. But most of them did. I was nervous going in, wondering if something would come along to end my interest in this fic. My motivation to write stuff like this is directly tied to my autism and whatever my special interest is. Mother has been my SI for over 4 years, and the Tazmily villagers are the new focus of my SI currently. If I lost focus, or focused on something else, it'd probably be all over. But each week, I wrote a chapter without fail. I held myself to it.

I had never worked so consistently before in my entire life. ACOH feels like it's a once-in-a-lifetime writing project for me, though I hope I'll be able to keep writing much more consistently than I ever used to before. I apologize for all this talk, but this project has been extremely important and special to me. I am so proud of myself for finishing this project, and I am proud of what I've written. I proved to myself that I could do something like this if I tried. Writing is my passion. I have always wanted to write a novel. If this is an indication of where I can go, then I'm excited to keep writing.

Lastly, THANK YOU to everyone who commented, who left kudos, and who gave this weird, niche little fic a chance. I noticed every time somebody commented, whether new or returning, and I was so grateful to see people respond well to this fic. I am so grateful for people's kindness and for reading this fic. I wrote this fic for myself. That remains true. But seeing others like it still means a lot to me. Thank you all for that. I hope to be back with more fics at a later date, but who knows when something will come to me.

As it stands, this is it. This is the final chapter of my fic. No real warnings apply, save for some discussion of death.

For the final time, as always, thank you for reading.

<<< PREVIOUS CHAPTER

#mother 3 #mother series #fanfic #fanfiction #i can't believe this is it y'all...#i spent five months on this. absolutely inconceivable to me #but it's done! and it's all posted!!! wow #again i can't be grateful enough for everyone's kindness for reading and commenting on this #i'm just aaa... it's done!!!!#i can't believe this

5 notes · View notes

guksauce · 2 years

Note

Hiiii, I see that your still taking requests can i get a drabble /one shot of dom!Jk coming home from tour and being extremely eager to have “i missed you sex” since y/n has been teasing while he was away lol. smut and fluff i guess. Btw i love your blog and hope you are taking care of yourself 💜💜💜💜

♡OML HELLO LOML♡

♡- First I just want to say, thank you so much! It means everything to me that you’ve stuck around for my lack of posts and updates on any of the things I’ve promised to write haha I appreciate the love you continue to give, and I hope to keep making this a space where you can stay with no worries!

♡- Second: If I’m being quite honest, I’ve never written true smut before so forgive me if this stayed a little on the fluff side even when I felt like I was getting down and dirty haha It’s simple and straight forward I feel like, but I hope this is still what you wanted, Anon, even if it isn’t perfect. IM ALSO SORRY THIS TOOK ME 885583838 YEARS TO WRITE. I wanted to make sure I did it right and tastefully. I appreciate your patience!

————————

♡ Pairing: Dom!JJK x Y/n Oneshot

♡ Rating: R/NSFW

♡ Warnings: Lowkey Smut, JK being lustfully aggressive with his babe, tiny Bam cameo 👀.

♡ Word Count: (1,973)

♡ Author: @guksauce

—Don’t Say a Word—

♡ You can feel him. You can hear the gush of your own blood in your ears with every second that passes between your thoughts of him. Too many cups of coffee had passed without him. Too many walks along the river without him. Far, far too many nights in the bed you should be sharing together without him; all of them excruciating absences. So, if that door doesn't swing open in the next five minutes, you’re /going/ to explode. Even when he is home you can’t even let him be at practice for any more than a couple of hours before you go crazy missing him. Loving your best friend and being able to enjoy their company the way you enjoy his, it’s irreplaceable. And almost against your will, you find yourself becoming a stranger to yourself because you realize you don't know who you are without them. Imagine losing your epic love to a 4 month long tour.

There’s a lot that you could say about Jeon Jungkook. About his demeanor. His passion. His talents. His looks. God, don't even get you started on those looks. The ones that make your jaw drop painfully to the floor the moment they walk into anywhere ever? Yup. The ones that make you re-envision the Prince that comes to save you from your tower? Mhmm. The ones that, even though you're sure the ground beneath your feet is level and sturdy, it still shakes violently beneath you when you catch that first glimpse? Yeah, you know the ones. /Those/ looks.

Ugh, and his passions. His passions are simple. Profound but so humble. All of it drizzled in a sparkling glaze of love. In his own personal way, Love oozed out of him and laced together with every aspect of his life. His fans, his music. But especially when it comes to you.

Night after night passed, but never without a facetime. Every chance you could get, you’d make it your life's work to do anything to melt away his stresses of the day. You’d spam his phone every day with photos of you going about your daily activities and he’d make fun of how strands of your hair were in places he’d usually move them away from. You’d send him videos of Bam and yourself showing the other dogs at the park how it's done and Jungkook would all but cry telling you how much he missed you both. But on days like today, you'd adorn yourself in silken gifts and strings of diamonds and pearls he’d given you over the years, and delicately drape yourself onto the plush cushions of the couch. Your hands would find the places you knew he couldn't resist and send them to him in snapshots of lustful movements.

Videos you knew would make him twitch painfully in his jeans came in waves during the long months. But when it was time for him to come home, that's when his own videos would fly in. For all the teasing you’d done during his absence, you knew you were in BIG trouble when he'd get frustrated and promise you that he was going to “break my little slut in half when I get home.”

And so, you wait impatiently in your home. Nervously. You watched the hands on the clock hanging in the hallway with pleasurably terrified eyes tik monotonously in a circle. Another ping sounded on your phone, signifying a text that read “Don’t move a fucking muscle, pretty baby. I’m pulling in now.”

‘Slam!’ Your whole body jumps, a skittering of goosebumps prickling every inch of your skin as the door of his car shuts. The blood still gushing through your system drowns you and dots begin to cloud your vision. You want to smile but you’re almost afraid of what he’ll say if he sees it. You can hear him in your mind saying “As if you think you’re going to get away with this.”. His footsteps approach and his fingers force the door open and-

“Get up. Turn around. And don’t say a word.” Oh, fuck. In all of his glory, he stands stoic and mountainous as his bags fall around him to the floor and the door slams behind him. He might as well be glowing; a power radiating from the core of his soul with a force so potent it snaps you back to reality. His eyes are sharp and so deeply darkened, the absolute need pooled in the pitch black abyss of his irises. And then your King stalks towards you as you rise to your feet, ready to demolish your entire being.

“Baby, I-” In your mind you beg anyone who might be listening to please just let you tell Jungkook how much you love him in a way that seems good enough because you just can't seem to find words worthy of the meaning it holds. But he’s there already, jet black boots pounding the ground in his last steps, and you haven't turned around yet. Fingers find your throat as he spins your body away from him, turning the words about to spill from your lips into gargled moans.

“Didn’t I just say to turn around and not say a word? Hm?” He whispers in your ear, breath hot against the apple of your cheek as he bites at the flesh just under your diamond studded ear. His free hand dips and rises in and out of the winding curves of your body. The touch, albeit smooth and loving, sizzles your skin as he drags it down to the inside of your thigh and hooks his thumb into the hem of your black lace underwear, taking them with it. Its everything you can do not to just let everything go and lose yourself to an endless stream of pleasure filled cries. Every single miniscule detail of what he does coaxes out another gargled whimper, another knee buckling shiver down your spine.

“Mmm. Yes, sir.” You mumble out through his hold on your neck. He’s quick to reward you with a small bite to the curve of your neck where it meets your shoulder. Goosebumps dance quickly along every inch of your body as he sings a song into your skin that only your body knows. Fingers are everywhere; cupping your ass and snaking under your already disheveled shirt and god is it hard to breathe in here.

“That’s my baby.” Jungkook whispers and steals your hands from the home they’d made in his hair and grips both of your wrists in his one caring hand behind your back. The other spins you away from him and he can’t help but stop and admire the way your chest rises and falls for him, how your breath trembles and spills out from your lips, all of you excitedly and patiently awaiting him both to come home and to make you feel alive. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too, my love.” You reply without a single beat of hesitation and the growl that rumbles throughout his body and erupts darkly from his throat forces a pitiful moan and your knees to buckle underneath you. Soon your cotton shirt is pulled high over your chest as he walks you both to the kitchen, Jungkooks loving bites taking on a pain that rewards him the sound of your soft mews as he bends you over the dining table, shoving plates and delicately folded napkins into the chairs.

You’re positive he’s about to split you when he runs the tips of his fingers down your spine making you struggle against the grip still tight around your wrists. That is, until he pauses, spotting a dark area forming on your bottoms. He drops to his knees, hands shaping the roundness of your cute little ass before hooking his fingers in the belt loops pulling them down where they pool around your ankles. And there he finds the mess you’ve created. With his free hand, Jungkook smacks the thickness of your ass and catches it in his grasp, giving it a good wiggle. You’re frothy; dripping your thick slick down between your thighs as he peels away your underwear. He leans closer, running the flat of his tongue over your hot core, collecting every drop of your sugary pleasure. A gasp consumes you, all four months without him making your body quiver, a string of soft obscenities flying from your mouth as you try to grind against the warmth of his tongue.

“Ah, ah, ah. You know better than that, baby.” Now you’ve done it, y/n. With one fell swoop, he spanks hard as your ass, the skin glowing red under his hand as he lines himself up with your hole, hard and already leaking.

“FUCK!” You moan out as he pushes every inch of his mass inside you with no warning or time to adjust to his size until he pulls all the way out, your hole oozing and clenching as he tangles a hand in your hair and pulls. He wastes no time slipping himself back into you with an unrelenting force that almost makes you both chuckle as the table moves an inch across the floor. But this time he doesn’t stop, smashing into you with four months worth of energy and it’s everything you can do not to just scream.

“Tell me how it feels, pretty baby.” He huffs out, drowning in love with the way you bounce yourself right back into him, eager to get every last inch, on the precipice of begging for more.

“You fuck me so good. No one loves me more than you, better than you!” You whimper out between his thrusts. He pauses, hearing your words, and releases your wrists, finding your neck instead, where he curls his fingers around your throat and lifts you up to stand. Inside you, his mass throbs in time with your heartbeat, unsteady and fast. You reach back to drag a longing touch over his hip and it changes his whole demeanor.

Pulling out of you, Jungkook let’s you rest for a moment as he turns you back to him. His eyes trace the features of your face as if he’s seeing them for the first time all over again, and with a feather light touch, presses his lips to yours and kisses you like it’s the last time he’ll ever see you. It’s slow and precise and you can’t help but step closer and loop your arms around his neck. Scooping you up in his arms, he walks you to the wall and adjusts you until your thighs rest in his arms. Kisses shower your chest, your neck, your lips as he slips himself back into you, the pressure so intense that your kisses break, the delicacy of kisses impossible to focus on when you’re both so close it hurts. His pace stays agonizingly slow. Long, perfect strokes that make his eyes droop in an angelic way makes you clench around him tight enough to elicit a low groan from the very depth of his soul as he rests his head against your chest. You curl your hands in his hair, peppering soft kisses to the top of his head between rhythmic moans.

You can’t take it anymore regardless of how much you never want it to end. You’re going to burst, literally. You can feel yourself giving way around him, dripping your frothy juices onto the floor beneath you. Jungkooks panting now, legs quivering and the muscles in his arms tightening as he whispers a gentle “I love you” into what little space there was between you.

“I love you too.” You promised as you both released, both shaking messes as he thrust 3 last, hard pumps of his love inside you, filling you to the brim.

3 notes · View notes