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#I think we’re gonna have to kill this guy
ham1lton · 8 hours
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MISS BAD MEDIA KARMA
pairings: (alleged) charles leclerc x reader. lando norris x reader. george russell x reader. (platonic) sebastian vettel x reader.
warnings: misogynistic media and comments.
summary: after a night out with your fellow drivers, the media is alight with rumours and speculation about your romantic life. most people would call a pr meeting, you go through the funniest rumours on instagram live and rate them out of ten.
author’s note: i’m still taking questions/asks/requests so please send some in! also as usual, there is a poll at the end so please vote!
— part of my maneater series ꕤ
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START INSTAGRAM LIVE. (20K WATCHING)
Y/N: hi guys! hi! how is everyone? how are you doing?
user1: Y/N NOTICE ME!
user2: y/n girl u look hungover as hell 😭
Y/N: am i hungover? perhaps. that’s probably why i’m doing this. jo is going to kill me but whatever.
user3: what are you planning on doing? 😭
Y/N: after yesterday’s… events. there have been a lot of rumours about me and my fellow drivers that have been spread around social media. so let’s talk through them and rate them out of ten.
user7: ain’t this a pr disaster?
user8: you probably shouldn’t do this.
landonorris: LMFAOOOOOO DO IT
Y/N: lando? how are you not hungover from last night? i’ll start with you. apparently according to this thread by twitter user y/nando, the two of us are secretly engaged to be married. okay first of all, why? second of all, no. i’m sorry. that isn’t happening any time soon. also, my schedule is too packed to be thinking about marriage plans. this one is 2/10 because c’mon.
landonorris: i’m searching that thread right now.
landonorris: wait lol why is this kinda accurate… are you sure we’re not engaged?
user7: LMFAOOOOOO
Y/N: we’re supposed to be EXTINGUISHING the rumours, not adding to them??? we are not engaged. we’re just friends. barely that if anything.
user8: BOOOOOOOOO
y/nando: it’s okay :) you’ll see that you’re perfect for each other one day.
Y/N: will we? anyways. next rumour. according to some monaco newspaper, charles and i have a secret child. this is apparently backed up by some anonymous sources.
landonorris: BOOOOO we get some shitty engagement rumour and you and charles get a child. i want a redo!
charles_leclerc: don’t deny our child y/n 😔
user6: y’all are MESSY 😭
user9: CHARLESY/N SUPREMACY 😍
georgerussell63: end the live y/n 😁👍🏻
Y/N: what is this photo? this is supposed to be proof of my pregnancy? i was just bloated from an evening of indulging at this amazing italian restaurant. it was gorgeous. whoever used this photo is dead wrong for that. this one is 5/10 cause i feel self conscious.
user12: no deadass 😭 if i was famous i would have had a million pregnancy rumours by now.
user68: no charlesy/n baby? BOOO!
Y/N: another one. george and i were spotted buying baby clothes in london. apparently george is me and charles’ baby’s godfather. there is no baby! charles and i don’t have a kid. so george is not the godfather!
georgerussell63: wait… why not? i would be a great godfather actually. i am offended.
user9: george going from telling y/n to switch off the live to being offended he isn’t the godfather of her alleged baby is crazy 😭
Y/N: also why was i shopping with george and not my alleged baby daddy? charles you’re a deadbeat to our non-existent child and that’s why this newspaper is saying that george is raising my kid?
charles_leclerc: apologies to leclerc jr but no way i’m letting george raise him.
georgerussell63: i’m not ready to be a stepdad but c’mon i’d be a great one.
user4: george isn’t the stepdad, he’s the dad that stepped up!
logansargeant: i’m upset that i haven’t been included in these rumors.
Y/N: if i was gonna ask anyone to be my baby’s stepdad it would be oscar. this rumour is 3/10 because it’s so unbelievable.
oscarpiastri: NOOOOOOOO 😰
user9: HELP???
user67: i’m watching this while doing my makeup. y/n is my favourite influencer!
user78: i was watching your vlog when i saw the notification!
Y/N: did you enjoy this vlog? for people who haven’t seen it yet, it’s detailing my offseason with my friends and family! we travelled a little and i did some work with my sponsorships! so check it out. we have some very interesting camera people.
user65: can’t believe you had the usher do your camera work for your superbowl vlog.
user8: you met beyoncé, you never gonna fail!
user67: be honest, did you faint at the sight of all the big celebs?
lewishamilton: y/n, this is all very interesting but maybe you shouldn’t be doing this? - sebastian.
Y/N: seb?? what are you doing here? and why are you on lewis’ account? don’t you have your own?
lewishamilton: i lost my login information 😅 and i got a message from charles telling me to shut this down - sebastian.
Y/N: what a snitch…
user23: he mad y/n didn’t accept their child 😭
Y/N: speaking of sebastian, here is my favourite rumour. that sebastian is my father and i’m his secret lovechild.
youryoungersis: wait…. is that why we look so different? you have a different dad???
lewishamilton: i’m not that much older than you? how can i be your dad? i’m only 13 years older than you! do i look that old? - sebastian, NOT your father.
user7: HELPSOSJSSJ
user5: NOT HIM CLARIFYING 😭😭
Y/N: that one is funny but no. we don’t even look alike! i hear a lot that we have the same mannerisms but that’s probably because i practically grew up around the guy. i’m rating this one…. 7/10.
lewishamilton: grew up around not with! - sebastian, NOT her father.
user2: BRO WE GET IT 😭😭😭😭
Y/N: so basically, time for the last one. this one is definitely the most out of pocket one.
alex_albon: BOOOOO I MISSED MOST OF IT
danielricciardo: 🤣🤣🤣
user98: HELSPSOSJ i’m laughing so hard.
Y/N: oh hi jo! how did you get in? WAIT!-
INSTAGRAM LIVE ENDED. (98K WATCHING)
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281 notes · View notes
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So High School | ln4 x singer!reader| smau
warnings: mentions of sex
a/n: added a lil espresso bc it was way too short:/
y/ninstagram
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liked by 300,405 others
y/ninstagram: New single out now! It’s called so high school. I wanna thank jack for helping produce this and i wanna thank my boy for being my muse<3 You know who you are i love you;).
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fan63: YESS Y/N IS FEEDING USSSS
fan95: hello who is this about😭
fan24: girlll “you know how to drive i know Aristotle” imma need every person who has a license in the world
fan78: is this abt a race car driver?
→fan75: Nascar maybe??
mclaren: We love the song y/n🧡
→fan35: ariana wyd here?
→fan40: is the song about a mclaren driver?
→fan28: girl no
twitter
fan40: guys I think so high school is abt a McLaren f1 driver and here’s why. Most obvious one, in her song So High School she says you know how to drive i know aristotle, so it’s somebody in the racing world, then on her anouncement mclaren commented saying that they “loved the song” know it might just be that y/n a McLaren f1 fan but also maybe they met at the bahrain gp that y/n was in march. coincidence I THINK NOT.
→fan38: girl im not gonna lie ur kinda onto something…
→fan82: nurse shes out again!
F1wags
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Liked by:y/ninstagram and 18,974 others
F1wags: Lando Norris and singer/songwriter Y/n Y/Ln spotted at Club Gascon in London out only a week after speculations of who her new song So High School was about. People said they had their romantic dinner then were spotted walking to the guildhall art gallery. New couple alert?
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fan64: Y/N IN THE LIKES?????!!!!
fan71: guys maybe that twitter thread was right…
fan49: she dates to many guys, im scared for lando
→fan57: her song abt him is literally how she wants them to be forever bsffr…
fan35: Not my two worlds colliding
fan91: im actually so ready for this relationship
fan86: the next album is about to be so fireee
fan63: @/y/ninstagram @/landonorris care to explain yourselves???
→y/ninstagram: No thanks
→landonorris: no we’re good
→fan63: WE’RE!!!???????
fan54: THEY HIT THE PENTAGON
Texts between lando and y/n
y/n: should we just hard launch already?
landino: I mean they kinda already know.
y/n: alr im making the post, make yours sweet please. I dont trust you
landino: awhh please baby i had a whole caption out😔🤚
y/n: don’t come crying to after mclaren scolding you again babe
landino: YIPPIEEEE
y/ninstagram
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y/ninstagram: you know what you wanted and boy, you got her🧡 ft real pic of me on the last slide watching lan and his friends listen to so high school
tagged:landonorris
comments
maxfewtrell: still haven’t recovered from that song…
→landonorris: wanna play gta tonight?
→maxfewtrell: NO
→angryginge13: NO
→martingarrix: NO
→ maxverstappen: NO
→ danielricciardo: NO
→ y/ninstagram: damn, American Pie then?
landonorris: love you babe(i would have chose kill)
→ y/ninstagram: oh what’d you say “no sex for a month”
→ landonorris: NO I SAID I LOVE YOU AND YOUR THE BEST PERSON ON THIS EARTH AND YOUR SO AWESOME AND COOL😍❤️❤️❤️💕💕😘😘🥰(plz lemme eat u out)
fan40: I WAS RIGHT AND U ALL SAID I WAS CRAZY
fan83: the fifth slide!!!!???
fan74: they’re actually so cute omg
landonorris
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liked by:y/Instagram and 1,031,495
landonorris: it’s true, swear, scouts honor . Also me n her if we were in gta🤭
Comments
Maxfewtrell:WAIT I JUST GOT THE SCOUTS HONOR LYRIC… GROSS
→ landonorris: sorry💁
→ y/ninstagram: sorry💁‍♀️
martingarrix: I will never be able to look either of y'all in the eye
→ y/ninstagram: sorry💁‍♀️
→ landonorris: sorry💁
Y/Instagram: i told you to make it sweet…
→landonorris: this IS sweet…like you😛
→y/Instagram: blocked and reported
fan57: 3RD SLIDE IS SO MOMMY🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
Mclaren: hey can we maybe not
fan10: y/n plz I could treat you so much better
→landonorris: did you not listen to the song?
carlossainz: landos not so little anymore🥲
→y/Instagram: definitely not little
oscarpiastri: guys please tell them to stop making out in front of me I. AM. TIRED
Y/Instagram
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liked by landonorris and 2,275,286 others
y/ninstagram: ESPRESSO SONG AND MUSIC VIDEO OUT NOW!
veiw all comments
landonorris: you mountain dew it for me😻😻😻
landonorris: first
landonorris: most beautiful amazing gorgeous person on this earth🤭🤭
→y/ninstagram: 🤭🤭🤭 cmere🤭🤭🤭
→ landonorris: yes ma’am🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️
fan45: not Lando being a simp on main
→landonorris: AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN
fan76: why does vroom vroom guy keep getting songs😔
→y/ninstagram: the d is fireeeeee
☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎
a/n2: sorry this took so long and was so short, collage is not for the weak and I've had tests all week
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mcflymemes · 11 hours
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THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE (2000) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the film, adjust as necessary
how shall i do it?
oh, is that hard to believe?
is this really the best you could do?
check out this piece of work.
i'm here because i received a summons.
word on the street is you can fix my problem.
the drinks were a bit on the warm side.
okay, i admit it. maybe i wasn’t as nice as i should have been.
do you really want to kill me?
so is everything ready for tonight?
i thought we’d start off with a soup and a light salad, and then see how we feel after that.
we’re about to go over a huge waterfall.
bring it on.
you got all that, honey?
what about dinner?
all right. a quick cup of coffee.
but what does that have to do with anything?
you’re sort of confusing me.
how did you get back here before us?
by all accounts, it doesn’t make sense.
i never liked your spinach puffs.
ah. should have seen that coming.
you know what, you could have told me that before i set it up.
now you stop being hard on yourself. all is forgiven.
it’s not the first time i was tossed out of a window, and it won’t be the last.
what can i say? i’m a rebel.
i can’t believe this is happening!
break the door down!
are you kidding me? this is hand-carved mahogany.
so you lied to me.
couldn’t pull the wool over your eyes, huh.
why did i risk my life for a selfish brat like you?
i was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong.
now i feel really bad.
you threw off my groove!
he didn’t pay his check.
this had better be good!
this is the last time we take directions from a squirrel.
yeah, like that would ever happen.
will you take a look at this?
oh, is that hard to believe?
just thought i’d give you a heads up.
what do you mean the door’s stuck? try jiggling the handle.
you’re the criminal mastermind here, not me.
just leave me alone.
it’s my birthday gift to me. i’m so happy.
hey, it doesn’t always have to be about you.
uh, he doesn’t really wanna talk to you.
hey, did you see that sky today? talk about blue.
don’t drink the wine.
our moment of triumph approaches!
oh, he’s doing his own theme music.
i’m so glad i was unconscious for all of this.
you’re not just gonna let him die like that, are you?
don’t listen to that guy.
if it were me, i’d march right back there and demand to see him.
you just saved my life!
believe it or not, i think i need a bath.
maybe i’m just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards.
i ate a bug today!
what is this guy babbling about?
i’ll be sure to tell him you stopped by.
i gotta go wash something.
anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.
let me guess, you have a great personality.
thanks for going back on your promise!
how long has that been there?
someday you’re gonna wind up all alone, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.
hmm. don’t know, don’t care. how’s that?
for the last time, it was not a kiss.
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peculiar-potato · 4 months
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I feel like they’d get along
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mr-president · 4 months
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the guy is hades, of course
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spicynectarines · 4 months
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my take on this trend
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morphomolva · 4 months
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ggvannba · 3 months
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they'd be friends
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gunkmusher · 4 months
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“i think we’re gonna have to kill this guy, john”
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booleons · 4 months
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ebonytails · 4 months
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I think we’re gonna have to kill this guy, Simon Petrikov
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johnbleepingzoidberg · 4 months
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is this meme still alive or am i super late to this 😭
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uhhh-ghouls007 · 4 months
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Comfort characters
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squeebii · 3 months
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spyderschaos · 4 months
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damn
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frogs-in3-hills · 4 months
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alright i caved
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