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the-far-bright-center · 8 months

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'I had a mother who loved me'

(aka, the Jedi Order is NOT Anakin's family)

This is a topic that I've seen discussed elsewhere and I felt compelled to add my own thoughts. I've seen some takes I vehemently disagree with, especially regarding Shmi and Little Ani in TPM, and Anakin's 'decision' to leave with Qui-Gon. It's crazy how some people will blame little Ani for 'wanting' to be a Jedi, yet apparently Luke in ANH is allowed to want this, even though Luke likewise barely knows anything about what being a Jedi entails, and even though it's much more risky (and, frankly, far more unrealistic) to dream of becoming a Jedi in the Dark Times era?? As if a nine-year-old slave-boy wanting to take part in his new-found freedom by learning to be something he associates with heroism means he somehow 'should have known' he wasn’t going to be a ‘good fit’ for the Order. My argument is that there was nothing wrong with Anakin, and there was in fact no legitimate reason for him or ANYONE ELSE to believe he'd not be good at using the Force to help others (which is what the Jedi are supposed to do), especially when he had literally just done so in the pod-race. The whole reason Qui-Gon noticed Anakin was because of how strong in the Force he already was, even untrained. Qui-Gon has faith in him, it's just the Jedi Council that doubts him. Because, unlike Qui-Gon who perceives Anakin's positive qualities and potential, Yoda and the Jedi Council are afraid of him. Because Anakin is basically an 'unknown' (read: uncontrollable) entity suddenly in their midst.

While the Prequels film-canon stands on its own in this regard, we can also look to the novelizations for even more emphasis on this topic. In the TPM novelization, several things are noteable: first of all, even before Qui-Gon arrives, Anakin has had prophetic dreams about becoming a Jedi. And since Shmi is aware that Ani's dreams and visions do often come to pass, when Qui-Gon appears and offers to take him away to be trained, why wouldn't she think that maybe this was somehow Force (or Fate) ordained? And that therefore it was the right thing to do to let him go? And the second thing, is while it's also clear that Little Ani (like Luke!) has a romanticised view of what being a Jedi might be like, his actual motivation for becoming a Jedi is not simply because he 'selfishly' wants to embark on some fun adventure without his mom. On the contrary, every. single. time. little Ani thinks about the possibility of becoming a Jedi or leaving Tatooine, it's directly in relation to eventually returning to FREE his mother and the rest of the slaves:

He was several things in the course of his dreams. Once he was a Jedi Knight, fighting against things so dark and insubstantial he could not identify them. Once he was a pilot of a star cruiser, taking the ship into hyperspace, spanning whole star systems on his voyage. Once he was a great and feared commander of an army, and he came back to Tatooine with ships and troops at his command to free the planet’s slaves. His mother was waiting for him, smiling, arms outstretched.

and

He gazed skyward, his mother's hand resting lightly on his arm, and thought about what it would be like to be out there, flying battle cruisers and fighters, traveling to far worlds and strange places. He didn't care what Wald said, he wouldn't be a slave all his life. Just as he wouldn't always be a boy. He would find a way to leave Tatooine. He would find a way to take his mother with him. His dreams whirled through his head as he watched the stars, a kaleidoscope of bright images. He imagined how it would be. He saw it clearly in his mind, and it made him smile.

Anakin wants to escape slavery and train as a Jedi so he can come back and continue helping his friends and family on Tatooine. So he can return to free the slaves. Little does he know that he won't be allowed to do that... :'(

It's important to note as well that at this point, Anakin *also* has no idea that, as a Jedi, he won't be allowed to get married and have a family. Even though he is already naively imagining himself someday marrying Padme. So he doesn't know that not only will he not be permitted to return for his mother as he'd always hoped, but he will also technically not be allowed to even have a family of his own even when he's old enough to do so.

And what of Shmi's thoughts on Anakin becoming a Jedi? At the start of the AotC novelization, she is trying to be happy with the thought of it, but ONLY because she believes he must be living his best life as a Jedi. She has no idea that he had to go through rejection first before being accepted into the Order. The AotC novelization shows that as Shmi is being held captive and tortured by the Tusken Raiders, she tries to comfort herself by holding onto her imagination of what Anakin's time as Jedi is like:

All those times staring up at the night sky, she had thought of him, had imagined him soaring across the galaxy, rescuing the downtrodden, saving planets from ravaging monsters and evil tyrants. But she had always expected to see [Ani] again, had always expected him to walk onto the moisture farm one day, that impish smile of his, the one that could light up a room, greeting her as if they had never been apart.

Heartbreakingly, as Shmi is being brutalised to death, she clings to the hope that her beloved Ani's life is now better than it was before, and that it was worth saying farewell to him all those years ago, even while simultaneously desperately longing to see him again.

As an aside, it aggravates me to no end that *cough* certain parts of this fandom perpetuate the idea that Shmi is just some blank, wholly selfless entity with no wants or desires of her own. That she's the ‘perfect’ example of a Jedi with no 'attachments' (aka an Old Order Jedi), and that somehow Anakin is a just a 'failure' compared to her. Yes, it could be argued that Shmi is shown to be a better or truer 'Jedi' than most of the other Jedi in the story (aside from Luke in RotJ), but guess what that would mean in that case? (Hint: it has to do with love and family.) Because first and foremost, Shmi is a MOTHER who is trying to do the best for her son, even though a piece of her heart is always missing while he is gone. The AotC novelization shows repeatedly that she tries to assure herself that she did the right thing by letting Ani go, but the human mother side of herself also cries out for him and misses him desperately. She might have let him go in TPM, but in AoTC she wants to see him again. In fact, she believes strongly that she will see him again (because she loves him and he’s her hero because she’s his mom and she trusts he will eventually come back to find her), which is the only thing keeping her holding on until he arrives. How can Shmi be a perfect example of an Old Order Jedi when the motivating factor for even her most selfless actions is her personal FAMILIAL attachment to and unconditional LOVE for Anakin?? Also, how insulting is it to claim that Anakin is a 'failure' in comparison to his 'wonderful, perfect mother', and then proceed to place all the blame on him for being said 'failure'....when he was shown on-screen to be doing just fine in taking after his mother prior to his time in the Jedi Order????

As another poster noted elsewhere, Shmi Skywalker is the only person responsible for the truly good person Anakin Skywalker was.

This is the heart of the entire saga. Anakin's True Self is good because of his mother. Because of how she raised him (to be selfless and to want to help others) and because of the unconditional LOVE she had for him. It was the Jedi Order that failed to provide that for Anakin, and Sidious who manipulated the situation to his advantage.

(And if Shmi was the only person who truly solidified Anakin's inner goodness, then Qui-Gon was the only Jedi who was presented as being equipped to bring out the best in Anakin when Shmi wasn't around. The only one who was prepared to act as an openly warm and compassionate parental figure to Anakin, the only one who could have properly mentored Anakin and helped him navigate both his Force powers as well as the Jedi Code, and the only one who was shown to be willing to stand up to the Council on Anakin's behalf. The tragedy is not that Qui-Gon found Anakin or even that he offered to take him to train in the Force. Rather, the tragedy is that Qui-Gon is slain in the Duel of the Fates, which leaves Anakin without a true protector and advocate in the Order, and allows Sidious an 'in'.)

So the idea that the Jedi Order is Anakin's ‘replacement family' is simply not true—certainly not in the way the story actually pans out. It's telling that, in the original Prequels-era EU, Anakin ran away from the Jedi Temple multiple times. That is NOT the behaviour of a happy child. (It is, however, typical behaviour for children who are struggling in institutionalised care.)

And indeed, the very first paragraph of the AotC novelization opens with Anakin dreaming that he is part of a warm, loving family:

His mind absorbed the scene before him, so quiet and calm and...normal. It was the life he had always wanted, a gathering of family and friends—he knew that they were just that, though the only one he recognized was his dear mother. This was the way it was supposed to be. The warmth and the love, the laughter and the quiet times. This was how he had always dreamed it would be, how he had always prayed it would be. The warm, inviting smiles. The pleasant conversation. The gentle pats on the shoulders. But most of all there was the smile of his beloved mother, so happy now, no more a slave. When she looked at him, he saw all of that and more, saw how proud she was him, how joyful her life had become.

Why would Anakin be dreaming longingly of being part of an openly loving, happy family if he already had that at the Jedi Temple? (Tellingly, he notes that this seems like something normal, as if he's aware that it ought to be commonplace despite the fact that it's currently missing from his own life.)

And later on, when he's visiting Padme's parents' house for dinner, he sees this exact type of scene he's been longing for play out right in front of him, and he wishes that his mother could be there to enjoy it, too:

Anakin took a good helping of several different dishes. The food was all unfamiliar, but the smells told him that he wouldn’t be disappointed. He sat quietly as he ate, listening with half an ear to the chatter all about him. He was thinking of his mom again, of how he wished he could bring her here, a free woman, to live the life she so deserved.

Note that Anakin is thinking about his mother, and putting her first in his mind. He can barely enjoy the meal while he believes his mother could be out there, suffering.

Later on as he and Padme are heading to Tatooine to search for Shmi, they bond over the fact that both their mothers told them the same nursery rhyme ('home again to rest'). It means a lot to Anakin that he can bond with Padme over this similar childhood memory. (No doubt something he would not have had in common with his peers in the Temple, since their only childhood memories would have been within the Jedi Order, rather than in a true home. And certainly not with a mother.)

Finally, we get to the RotS novelization. Yes, THAT one. The one in which we see that Anakin was perfectly willing to walk away from the Order the minute he returned from the war and discovered Padme was pregnant. Willing to walk away to start their FAMILY together. But then his nightmares began, and he reluctantly stayed just a little longer, thinking the Jedi (whom he originally joined with the express intent of wanting to help his loved ones) could offer him some solution to the horror his nightmares were showing him:

If not for his dreams, he’d withdraw from the Order today. Now. ...Let the scandal come; it wouldn’t destroy their lives. Not their real lives. It would destroy only the lives they’d had before each other: those separate years that now meant nothing at all.

To drive the point home, we also have the pivotal scene where Obi-Wan—speaking on the Council's behalf—tries to convince Anakin to spy on the Chancellor. Their exchange says it all:

"He's my friend, Obi-Wan." "I know." "If he asked me to spy on you, do you think I would do it? You know how kind he's been to me. You now how he's looked after me, how he's done everything he could to help me. He's like family." "The Jedi are your family." "No. No, the Jedi are your family. The only one you've ever known. I had a mother who loved me."

Anakin's story breaks my heart because all he wants—all he has ever wanted—is a family. Not to just to 'have' one in a vague sense, but to be PART OF ONE. He wants this, because even when he was slave living an unfree life, at least he had his mother. At least he could feel his mother's love, and could openly demonstrate his love to her in return. For Anakin Skywalker, being a Jedi was never the goal in and of itself. In his mind, it was always primarily a means to save those he loved. To save his family. This is simultaneously the most tragic and the most beautiful thing about his character. It is both his fall AND his redemption.

And those who insist on ignoring Anakin’s deep-seated longing for a family and want to act as though he should just be content with the Jedi Order instead are willfully missing the entire point of his story.

#Anakin Skywalker #Shmi Skywalker #mother and son #the jedi order #jedi discourse #the prequels #tpm novelization #aotc novelization #rots novelization #the skywalkers #skywalker family #the skywalker saga #the real skywalker saga #love and family #love can ignite the stars #the barest flicker of persistent light

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merrysithmas · 2 years

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Anakin & literacy

It seems likely that Anakin, as a slave, would have never had initial instruciton in Basic or Reading.

Of course, he is preternaturally gifted in mechanics and a prodigy with such skills (which is actually a Force ability called mechu-deru).

Given these advantages, he was likely able to teach himself some basic symbol interpretation for practical engineering, or worked to at least superficially comprehend discarded, out-of-date droid instruction manuals which had little to do with the tech he had at hand.

More importantly, for his survival, I postulate, he was able to decipher numbers ledgers and invoices given to those cajoled by Watto into overpriced and unquality services.

And of course, we know Anakin can speak several language. Basic, Bocce (another standard of Tatooine), Huttese & Jawaese (both trade languages of Tatooine with Huttese being the most commonly spoken language). Anakin could also likely understand others such as those spoken by the various Tusken tribes & Toydarian. His skill with spoken language likely far outstrips most classically trained Jedi padawans.

But for the most part, in regards to written language, it seems that Anakin was likely illiterate when Qui-gon found him and brought him to the Temple. It is very much easy to imagine a strung-out, grief-lagged young Obi-wan carelessly depositing a stack of beginner texts on simplistic rules of the Order meant for Younglings in front of the unusual Anakin, who looks up at him, perplexed.

"What am I supposed to do with those?" the boy asks in his innocent, direct manner.

Obi-wan -- already wearied and short of fuse from the barrage of new responsibilities which follow knightship, the ever-watchful concern of the Council regarding his "special assignment" of Anakin, and the hard punch of social curiosity regarding his slaughter of Maul (and so reliving Qui-gon's death daily) -- assumes this is some childish and unmannered inquiry, and vexed, replies, "Why to read, young Skywalker. Now please attend to your duties as I attend to my own."

Obi-wan hardly thinks much else of it until one day, not too far later, he sees Anakin holding a book upside down. It's only then he realizes his mistake and assumption and guides Anakin to the Temple teachers to catch up on what is a considerably delayed instruction in the basics of Reading and Writing. This is something Obi-wan has taken for granted and that he hadn't truly given much thought to at that point besides the ubiquitous airy sentiment of "we are so lucky to live in Coruscant, the farther reaches of the galaxy don't have what we do".

Anakin undoubtedly becomes well-versed in all manner of literacy by the time he is a General, receiving and sending communiques constantly, but it is still likely that, given his penchant for direct action over delayed patience, he may prefer holograms and other spoken communication.

Anakin's habit of action-over-patience is a proclivity that certainly comes from somewhere. It is well known he is arrogant which is connected to a keen sense of doubt and self-perceived inferiority. His lower than average reading comprehension - and his consequent natural penchant for learning through action - is a probable contributor to this sense of nervousness and displacement. Especially in the context of schooling, where he may have wanted to prove himself growing up - such as when around his contemporaries (the other universally-educated Padawans). Also, it stands to mention the incredible awe he must have had of young Padme & young Obi-wan's skills in these areas.

This routine of showing off what he can do is clearly an effort to contribute in his own way, to fit in, and to distract from what he can't do- a habit which does not serve him well later in life, and is often interpreted as pure bravado.

His desire to prove his skills equal to (or superior to) traditional bookishness is apparent especially in his early relationship with Obi-wan. Obi-wan, who is desperately, white-knuckled clinging to the rules and regulations. Obi-wan who suffers from a terror and self-doubt in his own abilities, seen as inferior by Qui-gon. He truly doubts his ability to handle the undue aquisition of the Chosen One. Thus, he reacts in contrariness to Anakin's criticisms and complaints. They just do not see eye to eye and are both struggling individually, not seeing each other.

Anakin sees Obi-wan's skills and reliance on the rules as weak (propped up by the summation he heard Qui-gon give of Obi-wan's abilities himself - "he is headstrong and has much to learn of the Living Force... there is nothing more I can teach him"). To him, pedantics are a poor substitute for real-life experience. And it is worth noting Anakin does have a point. That even as a child he had a considerable amount of experience and knowledge of the "real world" in a way all of the other Padawans (and even many of the knighted Jedi) did not. Their actions & inexperienced appraisals of even common social situations must have seemed at times incredibly ignorant and unjust to him.

Obi-wan on the other hand, sees Anakin's restlessness and discomfort with Temple norms as disrespectful and premature. In a way, of course, Obi-wan is also correct. Anakin lacks the formal finesse and structure of the Order, the foundational skills to the responsibilities he seeks to have as a Jedi as written in their carefully crafted syllabus. Anakin certainly lacks the building blocks of respect for his incredible natural gifts - something Obi-wan struggles mitigating.

I do think Anakin was right (at some points): Anakin was very observant and sensitive in the Force - it is likely that he was correct in his observations, that Obi-wan was jealous, young and unpracticed as Obi-wan still was. Obi-wan who was hypersensitive of rules and process, an unforgiving perfectionist who stuck to dogma like glue in order to become the most pristine version of himself. His gave his utmost efforts to fulfill the vision of the Order, to please his inscrutable Master & the Council - and so feel self-worth. Anxious padawan Obi-wan who worked and studied tirelessly for every perfected skill he had. Anakin wasn't the only one searching for approval and praise as a padawan...

That Obi-wan... faced with someone so naturally talented and shirking of core basics as Anakin? That must have, indeed, irked him like no other! Anakin on the other hand also equally harbored a jealousy of Obi-wan - someone who could focus so keenly and work so diligently and through that alone nearly match his skill. Obi-wan worked to be so good. Anakin's skills were Force-given, and in his own doubtful mind he must have asked himself... were they unearned? am I a sham?

They both distrusted one another before they realized, in an immense stroke of binding fate, that they were more alike in the ways that counted than different, and their differences strengthed and empowered the other. Anakin eventually sees Obi-wan's observation, patience, and practiced mastery as unmatched - the perfect companion. He is stabilized and turned inward by Obi-wan's influence. In a way, tamed. He is shocked by Obi-wan's ability to be so wise & skilled by focus alone. Something he sees as a Obi-wan's great gift. Obi-wan on the other hand, learns to truly live with Anakin by his side. See life for what it is, not what he learned. He is set free.

I always wondered when reading The Jedi Path, when I'd see scribbled notes in the margins of the text from Obi-wan, Ahsoka, Tyranus, etc: out of all of them, Anakin's seemed the shortest, the least detailed, the most succinct. Why? His petulance and disinterest aside, it was likely, out of necessity. His lack of skill in reading and writing at that point (as a Padawan). And realizing this, many of these feelings we observe in him (petulance, impatience, restlessness) may have arisen in the academic sense because of his learning curve with both reading and writing.

Lastly, I'd like to note in The Book of Sith when we see Vader's scribbled notes they are far more eloquent, written in impeccable cursive, and insightful. It is interesting that Vader is so different from Anakin in this sense and that he seems to pick up many of Obi-wan's defenses - a mask of eloquence and neatness. This may be in an effort to become a "perfect" Sith, (as Obi-wan struggled with his pursuit of being the "perfect" Jedi) when he knows he is not truly capable of such (Anakin always inside, as it was Anakin's love that was manipulated to form Vader).

Vader's manner of diction and formality can be linked to all of the above ("Anakin Skywalker was weak)". It is an exhausting effort by Vader to distance himself from the prime ego Anakin Skywalker. Vader, the alter ego, seeks to pursue a mask of monstrosity for both his own psychological shield and to project an identity he could not, infuriatingly, get to entirely stick.

#anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #darth vader #obikin #qui gon jinn

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kaleidoscope1967eyes · 1 year

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ROTJ Luke: prepare for trouble

Me, popping my head out from under his cloak: and make it double!

Anon, this is too cute! I love the idea of snuggling in Luke's cloak (especially if he's already wearing it). I wonder if this could could also be applied to his poncho from ANH? For the sake of this imagine, let's assume that you're shorter than him.

It's a given that you love to steal his clothes, and he loves to let you--he thinks you look so cute in them! It all started one night when you got cold while you were on an evening stroll around the Great Temple together. Almost instinctively, he took off his yellow jacket and placed it around your shoulders, telling you to keep it for as long as you need to. It was a little big, but it was perfectly cozy and smelled like him. The gesture alone was enough to warm you up.

Little did Luke know, however, that by letting you borrow his clothes, things would frequently start disappearing from his closet. First, the poncho disappears, and he assumes that Han just threw it away until he sees you wearing it around the base. You smile at him sheepishly, only for him to say that it looks much better on you than it ever did on him.

Because of his utilitarian, no-wastefulness Tatooine mindset, he isn't offended if you want to modify some of the clothes he gives you, whether that means getting something altered to fit you or stitching in some colorful embroidery. He's actually really touched that you want to personalize something that once belonged to him, and he likes that it gets to be a sort of physical representation of your bond.

When he pulls together his new sexy jedi fit, you better believe he chose to incorporate a cloak so you can mess with it. He can barely control his laughter when he first sees you completely engulfed in the black fabric. He loves hugging you when he's wearing it so he can literally wrap you in his embrace, and you've definitely pranked the others a few times by walking around base pretending to be one person. Also, if you ever end up having a family together, his heart absolutely melts watching your child waddle around with the cloak trailing after them.

Bonus: if you're also a Jedi, he's definitely getting you a matching cloak!

Tagging: (comment if you want to be tagged or you want me to stop tagging you)

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#luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker imagine #luke skywalker headcanon #my inbox is open #luke skywalker x you #yet again i can't decide between paragraphs and bullet points #my fic #luke skywalker x gn!reader

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ghostofskywalker · 7 months

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Hiding Away From The Galaxy

Bo-Katan Kryze/Former Jedi!Reader

Words: 1,298

Summary: It's been years since you've seen her, and at this point you had resigned to never know how she truly felt about you. Or at least, you had until you received word from a different Mandalorian, claiming to know where she was.

flower and meaning: star of bethlehem || forgiveness

Note: this was originally going to be part of my october fics this year, but I realized that it fit really well with one of my flowers for the @yearofcreation2023, so it got moved up :)

Bo-Katan Kryze Masterlist || Year of Flowers Masterlist

To say that you were nervous was an understatement. You truly believed that you were never going to see her again, and now here you were, about to land in front of the majestic castle that she had taken residence in. Thoughts swirled in your head, wondering what she looked like now, how she was doing, and whether or not she’d even want to see you again.

You had received a communication a little while ago from Tatooine, so you hopped on a holo call and spoke to a Mandalorian about someone you had known a long time ago. You had long since left behind the rules and rituals of the Jedi Code, and at first you didn’t even want to accept the call, but something in your brain told you to listen to what this man had to say.

When you heard her name, you froze. The Mandalorian hadn’t told you how he knew her or what she was doing, only that he had learned from a mutual friend of yours (that turned out to be Ahsoka Tano herself), that you and Bo-Katan were once close, and he felt that you deserved to know where she was.

Your brain was suddenly filled with complex thoughts and you attempted to sort through the wave emotion that came flooding to the surface of your psyche. You thanked this man for reaching out to you and ended the call, wondering what you should do. You had disappeared completely all those years ago because you were being hunted, your own troops had turned on you, and you didn’t understand what was going on. A few years ago you had reunited with Ahsoka, and she explained that all the clones were acting on the orders of inhibitor chips in their brain and had no control over themselves. Your heart broke for the men you had grown to call your friends, and how terrible it must have been for them to experience.

That conversation had also proved that Bo-Katan had never been part of the threat, and now you felt bad for not trying to find her.

Now, after the fall of the Empire, you still hadn’t reached out. Part of you was afraid of what she might say, and the other part of you was nervous for another reason. The last time you had seen Bo-Katan, you had promised to have a discussion about your feelings soon, as a way to finally temper some of the growing romantic tension between you, and you didn’t know if she would still remember that, and if she did, if she even felt that way towards you. You wouldn’t blame her if she had written you off completely, given the way you had practically disappeared from the galaxy.

When the ramp extended on your ship and you stepped out into a light drizzle, a small astromech droid puttered up from inside the grand building, and a droid that looked similar to the old medical droids of the Clone Wars walked beside it. You took a deep breath before speaking. “I’d like to speak to Bo-Katan Kryze,” you said. It was short, simple, and to the point. The droid paused before extending a mechanical arm from its head, beckoning you to follow it inside.

There was a stiffness to the way you walked as you followed the astromech. Did she know that you were here already? Would she kick you out when she saw you?

A set of doors opened in front of you, and you stepped into the most heartbreakingly empty room you had ever seen. Save for what looked like a throne at the front of the room and what looked like multiples of the same flag hanging from each pillar where the wall jutted out, this space was void of any personalizations. The only light came from windows on one side of the room, casting everything in an asymmetrical shadow. Sprawled out on that throne with her head down, you recognized the red hair and teal armor of your long-lost friend.

You began to walk through the room, and she finally picked her head up when you were about five paces away. “What are you doing here?” she asked, her voiced echoing through the room.

“Another Mandalorian reached out to me from Tatooine,” you said softly. “I wanted to come and apologize for disappearing all that time ago.”

Clearly she knew the man in which you were referring to, because she rolled her eyes before speaking. “Why now?” she asked.

Confused, you looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Ahsoka told me about Order 66,” she said, sitting up to better face you. “And I understand why you might have thought I was part of it. But why did you wait so long to try and find me after you realized I wasn’t a threat?”

That question hurt more than you wanted it to, and you decided to just tell the truth, lay it all out on the line. “Because I was afraid,” you said. “Not that you would kill me or call me a traitor, but of what we were going to discuss the next time we saw each other.”

The look on her face changed for a moment.

“I have cared about you for so long,” you continued. “And I’ve lived a life where that kind of attachment was forbidden. Even after the Jedi Order was officially wiped out, I had a hard time trying to rationalize the way I felt for you. I was terrified that I had misread every interaction we’ve ever had, and so until that man reached out to me recently I hadn’t even gathered up the courage to confront myself, let alone someone else.”

She got up from the throne, walking down so that the two of you were facing each other. “I spent years worrying that you were dead,” she said. “It was only after I reunited with Ahsoka that she told me you were alive, though she didn’t yet know where you were. You certainly didn’t misread our interactions.”

“Can we start over?” you asked, fighting back a shaky breath that threatened to exit your body in the form of a sob. This felt like the most important question you would ever ask, and if she refused, you didn’t know what would happen. “As if the galaxy didn’t get in the way of things?”

There was a moment of silence before she responded, and for a fleeting moment you were terrified that she would deny the way you offered up your heart on a platter. “I’d like that,” she said softly.

All the tension and fear evaporated from your body in a instant, and you took a step closer to her, not sure how to react.

Eventually, you just decided to take another chance and wrap your arms around her, the same way you had the last time you had seen each other, all those years ago. Her armor still felt exactly as you had remembered it, and you felt her arms wrap around you too. You buried your face in her neck, breathing deeply as you tried to memorize exactly the way she smelled, and the way her armor and skin felt beneath your fingertips.

“So, since we’ve got some catching up to do, how about we get something to eat?” she suggested, and all you could do was nod in response, fighting back tears of joy.

You hated that it took this long to try and find out what had happened to her, but you couldn’t help the excitement that bubbled through your body in this moment. It might take a little while to get back to where you used to be, but you’d put in the time.

For her you’d do anything.

- the end -

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

#year of themed creation #bo katan kryze #bo katan kryze x reader #bo katan kryze x you #bo katan x reader #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction

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phoenixkaptain · 11 months

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Thinkin about Star Wars bending AU andndhdj

Anakin should be the Avatar, obviously, but I think he would begin as a water-bender. I mean, his name literally means “water bringer” or whatever. It’s pretty clear.

But I also think he would have the most trouble with water-bending. Not the fighting part, but the healing part. He’s too impatient or he just can’t understand how to do it, no matter how often he’s shown or it’s explained, and that leads to him feeling even more guilty about everyone who dies. His mother dies and he thinks “This wouldn’t have happened if I’d just done better.” His fears of Padme dying are multiplied because he feels so useless.

Anakin is great at fighting. He’s intimidating. He can lift up mountains and hold them threateningly over the heads of his enemies. He can stop the very air they breathe and pull it out of their lungs. He can use their blood to manipulate them like puppets. He can reduce an entire village to ash in seconds.

But he just can’t heal people. Even as people say he’s mastered every other element, he feels like the very element he began with isn’t mastered. He feels like he’s failing, failing the moon and the Jedi and the water itself. He just can’t figure out what he’s doing wrong, and he’s tried for so long, and it makes him equal parts furious and depressed.

(Palpatine is the one who the Jedi get to train Anakin to heal with water-bending, and Palpatine sees how nervous he is about it (Anakin could never get it to work on Tatooine and is worried he’ll fuck up and the Jedi will send him back) and teaches him wrong on purpose so that he only gets worse. But, he promises to lie to the Jedi, because Anakin is so worried about it, and tells them he’s doing fine, the skill just needs to be practiced. Then, we still have his manipulations and Anakin’s reliance.)

When it comes to Anakin’s children, I think Luke and Leia should be different.

Leia fits earth-bending. She’s loyal and unyielding and absolutely bends metal in her fists when she’s angry. The ground shakes when she walks, mountains crumble when she looks at them, she’s terrifying to the enemy because she learned to lift mountains just like the Avatar did. The unyielding sturdiness of earth, but the softness too. Things like farming and building things and making games. There’s softness to earth, a springiness that makes it strong, and Leia is both the unyielding bedrock and the soft sandstone. I like to think she’s good at bending sand itself, because she uses techniques she sees other benders use and so doesn’t treat sand like rock. She treats it as water and so bends it accordingly.

This is a super unpopular opinion but hear me out! Luke should be a firebender. Hear me out hear me out hear me out-

Luke is the twin suns of Tatooine. He is immediately powerful and dangerous, despite his looks. More than that, he’s the life that fire brings. He’s the life that comes after all the Jedi are killed. He’s the lava that changes Anakin Skywalker yet again. He’s the warmth of a nice day and the heat of an oven. He appears harmless but can only be harmless because he’s learned to temper his ability to harm.

Luke has incredible self-control, especially later on in life. That self-control translates awesomely into fire-bending. And Luke being uncertain of his abilities is the weakness he would feel on Dagobah. Luke is hesitant because he doesn’t want to hurt people who don’t deserve to be hurt, and he doesn’t want to hirt himself. So he didn’t use firebending to fight, he used it for comfort. To light fires in hearths. To cook food. To amuse little kids. And he tries not to get angry because his explosive power when he’s angry is unstoppable. A star going supernova. It’s intense and destructive and terrifying.

But also, I imagine Luke learning to redirect lightning. I imagine him redirecting Palpatine’s lightning, the lights setting him aglow as electricity crackles over his form, his eyes glowing and intense as he directs that lightning harmlessly into the ground and smiles in the face of Palpatine’s abrupt fear.

And Leia being the earth and Luke being the sun is just kind of canon. Leia is the one who holds people together, who can lead people. Leia is the earth the seeds are sown in. Luke is the one who stands off to the side smiling ominously, but who is just as protective of people as Leia. He’s driven to protect them but he also holds himself apart, almost unthinkingly. Luke is the heat that gives those seeds the confidence to grow.

I think it fits nicely and I have the mental image of Anakin finally learning to use water to heal and using it to heal Luke. Luke, who got burned by his own fire because he was reckless for a second. An Anakin who learns to heal because Leia can describe it to him, because she studied waterbending for her sandbending. Just, a little family of people who don’t fit perfectly but are willing to learn and change and commit murder.

Also it’s just really funny to have none of the “Skywalkers” be airbenders pfft

#star wars #luke skywalker #anakin skywalker #leia organa #star wars original trilogy #the inane ramblings of a madman #of course this would all change the story quite a bit #but i think i got my point across #making luke a water or air bender is fine #but i think he suits the uncontrollable flame #he is a fire that palpatine can’t stifle #he is a warmth that palpatine can’t outburn #he is as unpredictable and wild as a forest fire #but with all the warmth and care of a hearth #that’s how i think of luke #long post

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bat-stuff · 11 months

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Give him liberty or Give me death

A Starwars Story

Story follows Y/n, a nearly 15 year old girl who recently ran away from Jedi training to start a new life. But what happens when the Force catches up to her in the form of a recovering Sith Lord?

Disclaimer: I don't own the Starwars Franchise

ok now that's out of the way, the real disclaimers:

This is set in the far future, after a lot of the canon storyline.

If ANYTHING seem canonically incorrect please don't try to correct me, I'll eventually find out and feel shitty about it anyway. I wrote it how i felt it would fit the story best. again, bear with me

Please enjoy to the best of your ability, Thanks!

Chapter One: Tatooine

Sand engulfed Y/n’s feet as she pushed through the storm. Tatooine was a nasty planet covered in dust, sand, and an abundance of the strangest people Y/n had ever seen.

Tatooine had history though. Bad history. To be completely honest, Y/n never cared too much for the past. She knew very little of the Skywalker dynasty and frankly didn’t feel the need to know any more. She was done with the god-awful Jedi Historical training, opting to take a hike rather than stay five more years and watch Palo take the spot she worked tirelessly for with little effort.

He always was the golden boy. Picking up information faster than everyone else, outperforming everyone else, looking better than everyone else, having a higher midichlorian count than everyone else. The only thing he couldn’t beat her in was sparring. The only part she’d ever enjoyed of the training. Lightsabers.

She was also pretty damn good at piloting but Palo wasn’t interested in that so she would never get to see who was better.

What a degenerate pansy.

Her banter with Palo didn’t matter anymore. She had quit, and that was final. No more training, no more pressure, no more pain and suffering.

The force couldn’t get to her if she didn’t believe in it. Well, she hoped. God forbid the dark side reach out a slimy finger to graze her. The last thing she had ever wanted was for that side of the force to engulf her. Maybe that's why she left.

Maybe.

The force had a habit of clawing its way into the souls of even the strongest Jedi.

Fear leads to hate, hate leads to anger, anger leads to suffering.

The words were practically seared into her mind. From day one of training she was told these words nearly every day. If she showed any sign of doubt, she would be dragged into the darkness.

In the end, that didn’t stop her from a convective fear of the unknown.

It was no doubt that she had spent the better part of her almost fifteen years in the galaxy fearful. She had always been afraid of making the wrong choice, the one that would drag her past the point of no return.

Yeah. That’s why she left. No, fled. As if the Jedi Order would willingly let a newly deemed Padawan walk away. Not with that kind of force training.

To the order, Y/n was a bomb just waiting for the Sith to spark near her fuse.

Her mind raced with these thoughts as she pushed forward. Sandstorms were dangerous, she had been told. Yet, there she was in the middle of one, retrieving a cloak of all things, for a young girl down the road from her poorstone bungalow. The poor thing had gone the past month or so without protection from the sandy wind. Didn’t help that the youngling walked every morning to work herself sick washing dishes for The Dockside Cafe. And of course, the Jedi training instilled in Y/n made it practically impossible to resist hunting down this little girl’s cloak.

God, sometimes she hated being selfless.

The day I stop being this stupid is the day the Sith gets me, apparently. She scorned herself.

Upon her arrival in the market the storm died down from deadly to mildly dangerous, or at least it seemed that way. The cluster of buildings most likely blocked a portion of debris and wind from getting into the square. She let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. The assortment of shops provided some protection, but she would still need to find where the cloak had even been left before it decided to get worse.

Ah yes, Tatooine was a beautiful place. It had always been her dream to be killed by a planet’s dandruff.

There was a task at hand. She couldn’t spend any more time complaining about the weather.

To be completely honest, she had no clue where to start. The young girl had said she couldn’t have left the robe at the diner, considering she was there every day and hadn’t seen it since the day she lost it.

Of course, children had a habit of not looking very thoroughly for lost items, but the children of Tatooine weren’t normal children. They had near to nothing. Losing something as miniscule as a garment of clothing was a shot at death to them. Especially with the planet’s harsh conditions.

Even knowing this, Y/n made the choice to start at Dockside.

The Dockside Cafe was a small corner bar in Mos Eisley known for the galaxy’s smallest menu of drinks and the driest food known to creature-kind. The true owner of the cafe had died off who-knows-how-long ago and was currently run by a technological artifact that went by the name of CG-X2R. Or better known as CG by the townsfolk. The droid had a knack for complaining about everything and listening to no one, unless of course, you were there to complain, too.

Just the type Y/n didn’t care to talk to, but could tolerate long enough to get information.

As she strolled into the dimly lit space, a few heads turned. Usual customers that didn’t care too much about her presence, seeing as almost immediately upon realizing it was some teenage girl they didn’t know they went back to their business. Seeing as the cafe was wedged into the ground, it was probably one of the coolest places on the planet. That being said, it could always use better airflow.

Y/n had grown quite fond of this cafe over the last month. It was relaxing.

She reached for a stool and sat herself in the middle of the bar table. Then she proceeded to whistle at CG and motion for the droid to come over.

“You again?” He sighed. She gave a slight smile and rolled her shoulders back in a stretch.

“It is. But this time I’m here on business. You haven’t happened to have seen a child’s cloak in the last month?”

He whirred in thought. His old gears creaked as he tried to recall the last month.

“Would this cloak happen to be young Alexava’s cloak she claimed she lost?”

Y/n groaned and threw her head on the table.

“Yes” She mumbled through her arms. The old droid let out a grating snicker.

He whipped around to fetch a glass of luke-warm water for the girl. She brought her head up and thanked him with a nod. She placed a peggat on the counter, which he gratefully accepted with a whir of mechanics.

“I know what you’re going to say,” She sighed. “And my answer is no. I can’t resist helping a dumb kid who misplaced their only drapes.” The droid seemed to quiver in humor.

Once again, that undesired urge to help people snuck its way into her mind. Her intentions were obvious, and that's what scared her. She knew one day, the Force would catch up with her, and show her a “better” way to help people. A way that gave her power beyond belief. The way of the dark side.

“Well, I hadn’t seen it for quite some time.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Hadn’t?”

Past tense. He was being difficult.

He clicked at her immediate recognition of his riddle.

“Ah, but I guess it was good material. Because I did see it today in the hands of one of those hunters who hang around here. Just before Mos Eisley opened,” The droid spoke. “An ugly creature, he was. No manners whatsoever. As if he was raised by a bantha.” He shook his head in disappointment. Y/n stopped him before he could go on.

“Why would he take a child’s cloak?”

“Hell if I know. He’s a bounty hunter. I would guess he wanted to sell it. They like money, a little too much. Tends to get them into a lot of trouble, as well as cause good salesmen like me a lot of trouble. Because of their mischief, I have to deal with a perturbed ten year-old-” she cut him off.

“I’m fifteen.”

“No you’re not.”

“Nearly fifteen- where did he go?” She insisted

The droid whirred once again in something she could only assume to be the equivalent of a smirk.

“Where do you think? Where all those rats go to get paid.” Her stomach sank in her gut.

The Cantina.

She internally groaned for the millionth time that day.

“Alright, what’s his name?”

Another damn bar.

That little girl always has to be involved with a place that flourished off of alcohol. Her conscience hissed.

At least Dockside was friendly. Sort of.

The Mos Eisley Cantina was a whole different alley. Not a good one either. She’d heard plenty of stories about bounty hunter central, and the amount of fights that occurred there by the hour. It was home to hut-hirings and dangerous travelers looking to make a quick buck. Of course, the presence of the Huts was the telltale of the bar. You always had to watch your back or end up as a body on the floor. The bar was downright sinister. No one in their right mind was going to walk into that bar and demand to know who took some little girls' cloak and that they wanted it back.

So of course, that’s what Y/n’s plan was.

In the end, she had no plan. She was just making stuff up and rolling with whatever happened.

Sensing the Force was like this. All the best Jedi did it. And all the best Jedi found themselves dead, eventually.

Good thing she wasn’t a Jedi, and good thing the Force didn’t exist. So instead she was just stupid.

Instead of just strolling into the bar, like at the cafe, she played more towards a dramatic entrance. If she was going to die in a bar, at least she was going to make it look interesting.

Y/n stood in the doorway upon her first step in. This time, nearly everyone turned to look at her. Eyes widened at the sight of a young girl. She straightened her posture in an attempt to look less annoyed than what she really was. She waited a minute, hoping the eyes would turn away.

They didn’t.

She blew off her discomfort and strode her way to the front counter, seating herself once again, right in the middle. She waved down the bartender once again, and felt the second wave of nausea hit.

What was she doing?

She figured her only option from here was to get down to the point. Somehow what had seemed like a harmless mission to find a girl’s cloak had turned into one of the most dangerous things she’d ever experienced in her life.

“What do you want?” The man hissed. Y/n cringed. He smelled terrible. His reaction to her expression wasn’t good and he reached over to grab her collar. She quickly dodged and slapped his hand away from her, pinning it to the wooden countertop. She rose in her seat, hooking her feet on the run of the stool to stand taller than him.

She grinned. “I’m looking for someone by the name of Igo Runn.”

The room seemed to stop breathing as all eyes turned to her. And suddenly, now that she had control of the room, the nausea dripped away. She often thrived on attention like a drug.

The bartender quickly pulled himself away from her in disgust. She gave him a toothy smile as she brushed off her hands and sat back down. Intimidation was a game to her, it was the only way to make Palo crumble ninety percent of the time. And she loved to see Palo fail.

Suddenly a voice spoke from the back corner of the bar.

“Little girl you must be the dumbest doll to come into this place demanding things.” He snarked. She pulled herself out of her chair and walked towards the man to get a better look at him. He was heavy set, with dark hair and pale skin. His face, barely visible in the dimly lit bar, was morphed into an ugly shape. He looked like he had been around the two suns for a while.

CG did say he was ugly.

“You’re Igo Runn?” He let out the loudest laugh she had ever heard. His shaking body caused the table he sat at to aggressively rock.

“No, Doll. That’s Igo Runn.” he chuckled, gesturing across the room to a sleeping form draped across a booth table. All eyes turned towards the body. She shook her head lightly. From somewhere a bottle was thrown at the poor guy, hitting him square in the back. Instantly, the man woke up, blaster in hand, frantically looking around for who threw the poor bottle. Laughter echoed through the tavern.

It only took a moment for our eyes to meet.

He was young. Very young. Probably a teenager.

“That right there is Runn. I don’t know what you want with that little rodent but you better be quick, Doll. He likes to run.” The fat man chucked.

“Don’t call me Doll.”

He frowned.

“I’ll call you whatever I want, Doll.”

She thought for a minute. Grabbing a bottle off a nearby table. She made a quick glance at Igo Runn, motioning for him to sit.

That's why she swung.

The glass connected perfectly to the large man’s head with a satisfying crack. He was knocked out of his chair by the sheer force of the blow. And as all bar fights started, chaos broke free.

Fists flew rapidly through the air as Y/n peered through the crowd just in time to catch a glimpse of Runn, bolting out of the bar. She hoped tables after him. He barely got a block before she had tackled him to the sandy ground.

Wind still whipped around them in the storm. It was almost as if it had gotten worse. She needed to wrap this up and get back to her bungalow. She swung herself off him.

“Where is the cloak you stole?” She yelled over the storm, her voice bare admissible. He seemed annoyed at her question.

“Why do you care?” He screamed back. His voice was light.

She couldn’t see him too well, but she tried her best to make out his features in the sand. He had tan skin and curly brown hair. He was tall and lanky with barely any meat on his bones. In fact she could feel every one of his ribs as her shin rested against his torso to keep him down. She kind of felt sorry for the guy.

“I care because there's a little girl who works hard every day, who doesn’t make any money, and who is in pain because you took one of the only things that can protect her from this planet.” She hissed at him. Y/n scoured around him until she eventually found his satchel, which to her relief, held the cloak.

He seemed to frown. “Last I checked, no one came and got this cloak. It was just sitting there when I saw it.”

“So you just took it?” Igo shrugged.

“What the hell would you need a little girl's cloak for?” She asked. He managed to shove her off him. He brushed himself off, which seemed awfully dramatic considering the dust storm going on around them.

“Why don’t you tell that little girl she’s not the only one hurting for money?” Y/n grabbed his collar and slammed him against the side of Mos Eisley. He was an arrogant boy with no better personality other than greed. He only cared about what helped him live day by day.

Y/n’s inner thoughts hissed at her to kick the crap out of him to teach him a lesson. But her fear of the Force took over almost instantly. Violence wasn’t a good answer. It was too risky.

Reluctantly, she sighed and let him go. Igo’s face morphed into one of shock. She began to walk in the direction of home. She was officially tired of everything.

“So you’re just letting me go?” He inquired, hopping after her. Without even turning around to acknowledge him she replied.

“Yep.”

He frowned. “Okay?”

“I’ll see you around I guess.” He said. She sighed.

“No you won’t, get the hell off of Tatooine. Don’t come back. I’m just tired, that doesn’t mean we’re friends.” She hissed at him. She felt his footsteps cease from behind her. He’d stopped following her.

Good riddance.

The trek back to Alexava Russa’s home took longer than Y/n was expecting, but sandstorms were still dangerous and a pain to deal with. Once she arrived, the girl had squealed in delight, thanking her for finding the thing that took at least five years off of Y/n’s life.

She didn’t tell the youngling what she went through to get it though. Neither Alexava nor her mother needed to hear about that. Y/n felt better just telling them some bystander had accidentally picked it up and left it at Lup’s.

Mrs. Russa offered for her to wait out the storm in their home but she politely declined. She had told the Russas that she had a busy day tomorrow and needed to get home. In reality, nightfall was coming soon and she didn’t want the family to deal with her bad dreams.

Dreams that often woke her in a cold sweat, screaming. Dreams that only recently appeared.

Another reason she gave up Jedi training.

Once home, to her tiny, rented bungalow. She threw off her garments and fell into her bed. She was getting close to being done with leaving that bed. Nothing bad ever happened when she stayed in the house. She wasn’t dragged into things that were none of her business. As usual she spent the next hour procrastinating sleep, wondering if there was any way to get rid of the internalized jedi-justice she was suffering from.

It took a while, but sleep finally won. Or at least the nightmares did.

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skyyworker · 2 years

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i see the trans anakin tag has been neglected mmmmh okay well here’s this:

trans anakin but he just. he doesn’t tell anyone.

he starts wearing obi-wan’s old jedi robes, and everyone at the temple finds it endearing because anakin in his early teens follows obi-wan around like a duckling, so it’s not really surprising to see him try and look as much like his master as he can.

anakin on his part thinks that obi-wan’s clothes look much better on himself than his old robes, they’re cut in a way that makes him feel good and he spends way too much time staring at himself in the mirror with a stupid little smile plastered on his face.

then puberty hits and it’s shitty.

his chest grows and he feels so uncomfortable about it. other padawans are overjoyed about their own growth, they start talking about their crushes and things like that but anakin can’t get it out of his head how much some parts of his body make him feel... like they’re not his.

but, on the bright side, he starts growing taller. and taller. and yes he’s very smug about it, joking that one day soon he will grow taller than obi-wan.

he starts binding (or, stealing aayla’s sports bras, wearing two at a time, it’s uncomfortable but he looks so flat that when he looks in the mirror and sees himself he giggles). and everyone notices but they don’t say anything about it, only obi-wan comes forward to ask him if everything’s okay and ani’s like “uhmmmm yes. why?” in the most innocent voice possible

obi-wan shakes his head because whatever, as long as his padawan feels balanced in the force he’s going to leave it to him, and be there for him, and eventually anakin will trust him enough to open up about what’s going on.

anakin doesn’t lol he just keeps silently transitioning and gaslighting everyone around him. like yeah OBVIOUSLY “ani” stands for “anakin” and OF COURSE it’s a masculine name, the most masculine of them all on tatooine (he says when he’s sent on missions off planet. so, scattered here and there around the galaxy, there’s a bunch of aliens fully convinced that the most masculine name on tatooine -which is in the outer rim, so to be fair, it’s not their fault if they believe this mess of a kid- is “anakin”)

and then he goes to a mind healer and finally he gets a space-prescription for space-T and still he doesn’t tell anyone. no okay that might have been a little improper use of the force because he might’ve implied he had already been knighted, like strongly implied, like using-the-force implied. but it got him the T so whatever. also he’s like 17 now so he’ll be knighted soon in any case.

so he starts taking the T, he’s feeling good, he’s feeling great, he’s flat as can be (for now) and! slowly but surely his voice starts dropping! month after month until it’s been a year and a half! and when obi-wan accidentally replays one of his old holo recordings pre-T he can hear the difference and it’s so clear! (he storms out of the room because he’s feeling giddy and he has so much energy he needs to go find something to do because he can’t keep still).

yes yes obi-wan has caught on of course, he still feels like maybe he should say something, but for now he limits himself to waiting patiently and with open arms for his padawan while correcting anyone who might misgender him. he also buys anakin his first jedi robes, ones that fit him just like he wants them to. anakin is like *(fake) shocked pikachu face*. “fake” because c’mon no one who knows anakin skywalker, even by name only, would now say that he’s anything other than a man. but the shocked pikachu face in itself is real because his master??? went out of his way to make anakin happy???

your honor this is how anakin skywalker gaslit the whole galaxy and we stan

(these are the original tags i posted..... then deleted.......... then said fuck it i've rambled this far, might as well post them)

#anakin skywalker #trans anakin #trans anakin skywalker #star wars #darth vader #obi-wan kenobi #in this universe palpatine tripped and fell down the senate stairs because i hate him and he sucks

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burnwater13 · 2 months

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Grogu standing in the bamboo forrest on Ossus. Image from The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 6, From the Desert Comes a Stranger. Calendar made by DateWorks.

Grogu hadn’t liked to complain about his time at Luke’s Jedi Sleep Away Camp. It seemed rude and not entirely keeping with the Jedi code of finding joy and contentment wherever you were. But then most Jedi hadn’t had to deal with climbing bamboo as a daily activity. Grogu didn’t think Luke called it bamboo, but when Grogu did his research on the stuff it looked just like Onderonian bamboo, so bamboo it was.

It wasn’t that Grogu didn’t enjoy a nice view from high up. He did. He liked it a lot, in fact. He no fear of heights either. Being up high was novel for him and he tried to enjoy it every time he had the chance. After being on Tatooine and Nevarro and Maldo Kreis, Grogu had come to appreciate planets that had beautiful green plants, ponds of still water, and no ice anywhere he could see unaided by a scope or the Force.

What he didn’t appreciate was how the stuff held onto dirt that was blown by the wind and then happily transferred that dirt to him. To his hands. His feet. His coverall. It was a nightmare. A nightmare because of the many things Luke was, Jedi, Hero of the Rebellion, moisture collector repair person, he was also a bit dirt phobic. Yup. A clean as you go and stay clean as you can kind of person. Uff.

The Mandalorian had been that way too, but it made sense. As a bounty hunter, Din Djarin had to dive for cover and crawl through sand, and get thumped by a mudhorn, just to do his job. For Grogu to see the beauty of the planet and understand how the Force connected it all, one thing to another, he just needed to stand on Luke’s shoulders.

That was too simple. What if Grogu was only feeling the Force because Luke was? Grogu needed to understand it deeply on his own. So up they climbed, every morning and every afternoon as part of their workout.

That was another problem of course. Luke was very committed to physical fitness. Jedi had to be strong, according to him. Well, Master Drallig had insisted on things like that as well and Master Beq had certainly lead the youngling under his care in a series of exercises and games that helped them develop stamina and flexibility and maybe a bit of strength.

But, and this was a crucial but, Masters Beq and Drallig had no illusion that Grogu needed to meet the same standard as Ian, or any other youngling at the Temple. They had individual goals and plans and programs to help them meet the requirements that were considered appropriate for working with the Force on a daily basis. They didn’t just copy each other, running and leaping their way through the forrest like they were mud yaks. Nope.

So every day. Twice a day. Grogu had to go to a little pool of fresh water and strip off his coverall and wash his feet and hands. Then he would wash his coverall and set it out to dry, which meant walking through the grasses and other plants that were much taller than him, trying not to get dirty again, which never worked because he didn’t wear shoes, just so he could lay the coverall out in a nice bright patch of sunlight, which was hard to find under the cover of the all the trees and bamboo.

He had asked Master Luke quite seriously one day if they could just use the Force to clean up because that seemed like a better use of his time and Luke shook his head no.

“Grogu, I know you may want to take a short cut and do something faster, but that impatience is a path to the dark side of the Force.”

Luke was so serious and so concerned when he told Grogu that, Grogu had a very hard time mastering his facial expressions. He wanted to laugh and scoff and role on the ground, but he knew he couldn’t do that. That would be mean to the younger man and he didn’t want to be mean.

But Luke saw the faces he was making and said, “Doubt me you do?”

Grogu shook his own head ‘no’ and tried even more valiantly not to laugh. Luke had sounded just like Master Yoda and that was almost too much.

Grogu recalled immediately a time he was climbing up the Life tree in the heart of the arboretum in the Jedi Temple, using the Force to help him balance as he brought a bag of fertilizer with him. Master Yoda had entered the arboretum and noticed the youngling up the tree and called out to him to come down instantly, or Yoda would go up there and get him. Grogu had paused and thought about which path to take down, when the great Jedi Master had called out, ‘Doubt me, you do?’

Of course Grogu hadn’t doubted that Yoda could get right up there. Unfortunately Master Yoda took the pause as an indication that Grogu did doubt him and began to hop up the tree, going from branch to branch at a terrific speed. Grogu was so enthralled with watching the great Jedi master he forgot that he was using the Force to help him manage that bag of fertilizer. When the Jedi master was just a click or two away Grogu felt the bag slip away from him and drop like a bag of fertilizer right down toward the great Jedi master!

Master Yoda being so experienced in the use of the Force made a snap decision and deflected the bag back into the tree where it burst open, causing fertilizer to rain down on everything below it. Including Master Yoda.

When Grogu and Yoda were back on the ground the Jedi Master looked at the youngling with a kind of wild look that Grogu could barely handle looking at let alone describing.

“Laugh not at the will of the Force young Grogu. And clean this mess up you will. Take advice from youngling Ian, you will not.”

Then Master Yoda left the Arboretum. But it was clear to Grogu that the great Jedi Master had used to the Force to clean himself up because by the time the door slammed upon his exit, Grogu had noticed that Yoda’s robes were perfectly free of even the tiniest speck of fertilizer.

So, in practice, the Force could be used that way… but maybe only when the dark side descended upon you?

#calendar prompt a day #grogu #the book of boba fett #luke skywalker #master yoda

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lazinesswrites · 3 months

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WIP Wednesday!

Dealer's Choice

Hi! So. I wanted to write a bit for Rescue on Tatooine for you, but the words just weren't coming, and then the handball matches started, so. I... drew/designed a ship instead? In the fic, Crosshair leaves the Empire on his own and finds this little... let's call it a scrap-heap of an experimental starfighter. Cross gets it fixed up, outfitted for longer journeys etc.; makes a little home of it. Names it the Rover, though he just calls it 'the ship'.

I hadn't really decided what it would look like, except 'small, something between a Jedi starfighter and the N-1 from The Mandalorian', so I had a look at some different starfighters, and sketched out a few of them to get a better feel of them:

I decided I wanted the Rover to be somewhere between the pointy Jedi fighter and the RZ-1, but with nose guns more like on the N-1.

Behold! The very first sketch of The Havoc Rover! I quickly decided this was entirely too round and Kaminoan-looking, so I scrapped that and tried again:

The Rover v.2.0! As it looks right now, anyway. I think I might have to build a model of it somehow, to get a better feel for the dimensions and how the whole thing fits together. I'll probably also make some sketches of the interior at some point, which... also means I won't finish/post the fic until I've done that, because some parts are taking place inside the ship, and I might have to edit the text a little to fit how I actually make the space in there look. I already need to change where I've written something about the hatch opening, as... there's no hatch (the glass/transparisteel part of the cockpit slides forward to let the pilot in and out). I'll also probably include some of the nicer sketches in the fic.

Heh, not three sentences of the fic, but progress all the same!

#Star Wars: The Bad Batch #TBB Crosshair #The Havoc Rover #WIP Wednesday #WIPW AG #Ask Laz #Rescue on Tatooine #post-and-out #Laz draws #messages blocked out for privacy (except my own)#very much bed time for me now #I'll get to the last two asks tomorrow hopefully

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overthinking-with-katy · 5 months

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Hello and welcome to Utter Ridiculousness, the likes of which happens sometimes when I'm sleepy! :)

Alrighty, so! A highly abstract and conceptual (at this point, at least) Psych-but-Star-Wars AU, using as a starting point of inspiration Lassiter interrupting Juliet's briefing (Psych S4E13::Clone Wars S2E6), basing character substitutions on where it's convenient for them to be (rather than on personality like I probably should), and, as my sister would say, flopping around and finding out. I AM FORMULATING THIS IDEA AS I GO SO DO NOT TAKE ANY OF IT SERIOUSLY.

Jedi and the Force are a thing, by the way. Just a note, as a slight establishment of continuity or something.

Carlton Lassiter-> Anakin Skywalker, head detective of... the department of Somewhere. I dunno exactly where he's based yet. Might be Tatooine, might not, we'll- TATOOINE LIBERATION ARC (in the tone of SQUIRREL)! Though obviously I could never write one of those even half as well as cough SOME people I know cough but we'll see. Anyways, he's, like, both the favorite and the problem child of the Jedi Order/Police At Large, because he gets stuff done but nobody likes how. He was trained by Obi-Wan Kenobi, who now works with some elite task force somewhere (the Council) but pops in a lot (invited or otherwise) to help Anakin with stuff.

Juliet O'Hara-> Ahsoka Tano, Anakin's junior partner (see: padawan. I'm not quite sure how being the police fits in with the Jedi Order yet so bear with me). Since them two are like the best team, they get all the difficult cases, which given that Ahsoka is um pretty young actually! causes Anakin to be constantly oscillating between Teach Child How to Solve Crimes and Keep Child Away from Criminals. (Usually he does the first one, and when he tries to do the second one Ahsoka vetos it and comes along anyways, with or without permission.)

Karen Vick-> Padmé Amidala. We're deviating from the source material a little bit. Well clearly it is not a little bit it is a lot bit but ANYWAY! She runs the department because she's good at Organizing Chaos, and Leading People in Doing the Right Thing, and also at Administrative Stuff even though she hates it. Also because the Jedi work for the Senate- maybe I should've started with that. (She also has an elite task force of her own- see: Naboo Handmaidens! They're, like, a secret spy team or something.)

Nobody suspects that the chief and the head detective are actually married. Definitely not. (That's a lie. Everyone knows. They all just turn a blind eye and rely on plausible deniability, because Rules prevent married couples from working together because conflict of interest something something I guess? but everybody loves both of them and doesn't want either one to get fired or transferred or anything.)

Ooof but then Padmé might have to take an extended leave to Naboo or something once she gets pregnant (which she has to at some point obviously it's Star Wars) because given enough time there's no way people won't notice and it's not like she can just ban literally everybody from her office. Anakin's gonna hate that and it'll take some figuring.

I guess Rex is McNab but more competent? XD He's definitely a lot more involved in the story, and Anakin and Ahsoka take him on missions with them more often than not. (I'll need to figure out what exactly is going on with the clones in this universe. A lot of it doesn't make sense- at least not yet- again, bear with me. :))

Mmm this is where it gets interesting.

Shawn Spencer-> Korkie Kryze, planetary leader's "nephew" (see: son) who somehow ends up accidentally looking like he has some sort of Fancy Magical Ability, and has to keep up appearances because Reputations and Publicity, or something like that. (Clearly, the characters who are suggesting themselves to be in these roles are very different from the original roles. In his case it's less "commit to the bit" and more "commit to NOT RUINING A MINIMUM OF SEVERAL THINGS FOR MOST OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW". )

Henry Spencer-> Duchess Satine Kryze, for obvious reasons. She's not quite on board with all Korkie's LIES AND DECEIT, but is the definition of "I know a guy" because as a politician she does in fact know many people who know many things. So she aids and abets, no matter how grudging it appears to be. I mean, what is she supposed to do, not help her kid?

Side note: if there's gonna be a legitimate and/or believable reason for Obitine to be separated, the police force will essentially have to BE the Jedi Order. They're probably more like Space FBI or something than normal police. Eh, I'll figure it out. Essentially Jedi Code is still in effect.

Burton Guster-> Barriss Offee, Jedi healer who's been stationed on Mandalore for a while as… a glorified doctor or something I guess? Force Healing Attending at the Sundari hospital? Apparently in this universe Jedi regularly work in places other than the Temple and/or Coruscant, so we're gonna go with that. Anyway, she's friends with Korkie, and helps him keep up appearances after they get into a Situation together.

As a result of said Situation, about which I do not know the particulars as of yet, the Jedi all end up thinking Korkie somehow has psychometry despite being Force-null. Really he's just very good at reading both people and situations, because his politician mom taught him to be. Obviously neither he nor Barriss is actually psychometric, which makes it a little difficult for them to keep THE JEDI ORDER convinced that he is.

This almost becomes a very big problem at some point when there's an appearance by Quinlan Vos, who is an actual psychometric detective, and his (technically former) partner Aayla Secura, who can clock a lie from a mile away. Do they know Korkie is faking? Obviously. Do they care enough to tell anybody? Absolutely not. Does Quinlan give him tips on making his fake psychometry more believable? Nobody can prove it!

By dint of a) Obi-Wan being "old friends" with Satine (their McMess of a marriage- it gets better later, of course- is ACTUALLY a secret, though Anakin definitely suspects something) and b) Quinlan being extremely hard to get in touch with, due to him constantly working with the rather questionable Dathomir detective division (Aayla is the only one who's suspicious about that, just because nobody else really hears anything about what he does), Korkie becomes the default person to call whenever people need a lil extra help with a case.

Also Padmé and Satine are Senate Besties, so Padmé has no problems hiring Korkie. She just… doesn't really question the whole psychometry thing, cause she's used to Jedi being weird (the one she's married to being among the weirdest of them) so at this point she just rolls with it. Anakin does question it, loudly and frequently. Padmé thinks he's just jealous. Ahsoka questions it a little, cause it doesn't quite make sense sometimes, but even when it doesn't she goes along with it anyways cause it's fun! She's definitely a frequent participant in shenanigans (both sanctioned and unsanctioned) with Korkie and Barriss, with whom she forms a highly chaotic trio. Anakin is not entirely sure how to feel about this, because a) she has friends her age now and that's good! however, b) said friends are constantly getting into Situations and dragging Ahsoka with them. (That's not entirely true; the vast majority of the time, Ahsoka is going along with them completely voluntarily.)

Oh, and Shmi Skywalker lives. Just as a general rule, even though I don't know precisely what's going on with her yet. It's just unacceptable in any universe if she doesn't.

Now apparently I have to rewatch Psych for storyline help, even though I haven't finished watching it the first time yet (due to watching it with my family, who are almost never all in the same place at the same time, let alone at a good time for shows). So... welcome to Katy's brain coming up with ideas she may or may not ever actually write. Thank you and goodbye! <3

@clawedandcute I TOLD YOU THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT (AFFECTIONATE)

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moinsbienquekaworu · 11 months

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the yellow saber rey pulls at the end... it's not just some ha! new color! saber right? it's a lightsaber??? or something??? (i read a fanfic where there were a darksaber and a lightsaber and thennn i just watched rogue one and they mention documents about a darksaber briefly so that's a real shit?)

Oh yeah no Rey gets a cool lightsaber that is yellow, but it's just a normal lightsaber. The darksaber is uuuh something else you'll see in TCW, Rebels or The Mandalorian, but it's not in the movies. As its name indicates, it's black, and it looks extremely cool on screen. It's a lightsaber but also not really? You'll know when you see it, it has its own lore (you can go look at the Wookieepedia page for it if you want but it can be a little dry). But yeah it is really just "hey look we made it canon sabers can be yellow too!", on top of "look she gets Her Own! she's a Real Jedi now!"

Lightsaber lore for you: the kyber crystal inside a lightsaber is what gives a lightsaber its colour, during the prequels era the younglings would go to Illum as was tradition and walk around in the cave until the one kiinnda sentient, Force-sensitive crystal that would be the best fit for them caught their eye and they'd leave with it (like the wand that chooses its wizard, yes). This process is shown in one of the TCW arcs I recommended you actually! The kids are really cute in it <3 Incidentally, kyber is really powerful, which is why you might have seen the name Illum somewhere else: it's the planet that Hux chose to become Starkiller, the kyber core (that had been used by the Jedi as a source for their sabers for it is implied to be centuries) was used to power up the thing.

Kyber crystals usually are blue/green for the good guys (there's lore related to that but it's pretty niche), then Ahsoka had a greenish-yellow saber for a while, for some people (Samuel L Jackson) it can be purple, and with Rey we have canon confirmation (canon, canon, vite dit given how little people liked the sequels) that they can also be yellow, which we'd only seen in legends stuffe before.

They can also be red if a person falls to the dark side, because kyber crystals are attuned to the Force and so they do not vibe with people who use the dark side. When a Force user falls, their crystal eventually stops working for them, at which point they usually force the crystal to submit to their will and kind of mentally break their spirit? which is a processus called bleeding, and it's evil and bad because the crystals are implied to be at least kind of aware of some stuff, which means they are kind o torturing them, but they're darksiders so it's appropriate.

And Filoni made it (maybe not him but it's Ahsoka related so I'm pinning it on him) he made it so you can heal a red crystal, which Ahsoka does later on and which results in a white crystal. In the Fallen Order games you can customise your blade and they can also be orange, indigo, cyan and magenta, plus some other material has used orange as the colour of training, low power lightsabers. That's less important though.

The out of universe reasons they're those colours are they were just supposed to be blue and red to show good guys/bad guys, but then Luke got a green one so it would be obvious he had a new saber and the colour wouldn't clash with the sky of Tatooine, then Samuel L Jackson wanted a purple one because it's his fave colour (me too bestie), and the rest was probably because people thought it would be neat if there were other colours.

This is a piece of concept art (??) for the High Republic project, which basically is a multimedia project that showcases the Republic in its golden age, before the prequels era, and I love this art specifically because it shows a pretty good diversity in saber & character design while still keeping it clear they're all force-sensitives (/Jedi?). There's also a neat few pages in a comics on why they use lightsabers and not anything else, though they also have variations on the traditional lightsaber that you can see on the Wookieepedia page for lightsabers.

(the darksaber looks like the black saber to the right, with a white halo and a black inside instead of a while inside and a coloured halo, which is super cool visually. This isn't the darksaber though I don't think, the handle isn't right. And maybe the person wielding it is a darksider given the golden eyes?? Whatever. Cool art)

#you did Not ask for this but i have many lightsaber opinions. i love those things soooo much #and i tried to be really really light in terms of my personal hcs #if you want jedi stuff hcs i have. Many More.#i love sw so much actually............. oh my god #star wars #wow i have a ramble tag now #wow i have an ocs tag now

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zachsgamejournal · 1 year

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PLAYING: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

I've put nearly 30 hours into this...I think I'll just watch KOTOR 2 on YouTube...

Last we chatted, we found out the player character is actually the dark sith lord, Revan. But thanks to unethical brainwashing and my many good deeds, all the allies are like, "I know you're previously a psychotic mass murderer, but you've been pretty nice to me...so all's forgiven!' I look forward to reading or listening to some analysis of the ethics around this.

To think about it--Darth Vader is an interesting case of redemption, because he basically dies for his sins. Yes, in the end he does the right thing--but is it enough to forgive his past transgressions. Like, if you start a forest fire, and then save a family from the fire, but still thousands of people and animals die--are you a hero? If Darth Vader had survived, what life would he deserve to lead? What would he have to do to atone for his past? As a powerful Jedi, surely there is much good he could do...I don't know.

Revan is different. Revan didn't choose to be good. Revan was killed through brainwashing. I'm less concerned about who they used to be.

Anyway, so we've gone to Manaan. Despite being tired of this game and ready for it be over, I actually think this is a my favorite planet. Though it annoys the hell out of me. Manaan is a water world (apparently Earth was too at one point). It has a natural resource that's good for healing. But it has remained neutral in the war between Sith and Republic. So both factions have a presence on this world, by neither has attempted to conquer it for fear of screwing up the natural resource supply. But Siths are gonna Sith, so they have several conspiracies in play to gain the upper hand, which be bad for this world.

First things first, I hate the layout of my so-called favorite planet. I appreciated how Tatooine had a single hub, that was big enough to feel like a city, but small enough to fit within a single load screen. Manaan is not so--there's about 4-5 separate, interconnected to hubs. There layouts are all very similar but also different. So it's confusing--which T-shaped hub am I in right now? And each hub has 1 or 2 key mission givers or people, so you've gotta run around trying to remember who is where.

That's out of the way...

First thing I did was find out a Republic hero had been accused of murdering a Sith agent in a hotel room. It's annoying, but kinda fun, as you have to interrogate witnesses, collecting evidence, and maybe grease a few palms. Then there's a court scene where you present your case. If this were a whole game, it would be kinda fun--but seeing as I just wanted to be done with this game, I got a little annoyed. But ultimately--I had fun and thought it was pretty good.

Turns out the local youth have been missing. I need to get into the sith embassy to find out why. They won't let me. Some bounty hunter that only values violence spills the beans when I threaten him. Not because he's scared, but because he likes violence. I don't like this guy.

I also get a mission to investigate why the republic is hiring so many bounty hunters that then go missing. While looking into that, I'm let in on a secret. The republic have built a secret underwater facility to get the special resource. Apparently "moderate" locals realize if the Sith win, Manaan's sovereignty will be at risk. Aligning with the republic is the smartest move. But still... political grey.

Turns out something went wrong and they've been sending bounty hunters down there. Oh, but first, I have to earn some good will by breaking into the sith embassy and stealing back data from a downed satellite that belonged to the Republic. I'm given options to break in. I opt to interrogate a prison for their code. Mild threat of violence against their wife and I'm in. Remember, we're the noble good guys.

The code gets me in the front door. But we're immediately found out. Not sure why we bothered with sneaking in if we were just gonna kill everyone. So just like on the first world, I'm exploring a Sith base. Funny how often this happens. I realize old man jedi, Jolee, can stun droids...very helpful. I find the missing local youth and they think the sith are here to help. I have to prove the sith are bad. This entails walking across the hall, find a dying friend, and then saying as much to the survivors. It's enough.

I grab the data and I'm out. Then I get arrested. I have to prove my innocence. I have a defender but he's not sharing the important detail: the sith are evil. The sith conspiring to be evil gets me a pass on breaking and murdering. Now the republic is like, go check on our underwater base. How nice, that's where we suspect the ancient star map to be.

This area is kinda interesting. It's a zombie like scenario. When trying to harvest the resource a loud noise made all the locals go crazy and start killing everyone. The locals are fish-ppl. Turns out there's a mythic giant shark that no one has seen. But the harvesting machines disturbed it. I guess it wants to protect the ecosystem.

So I have to do some underwater walking, just like the space walk. It's slow moving. But I have a sonic weapon to kill sharks. I feel about killing them. I wish it just drove them away.

Turns out there's two ways to handle the shark, either poison it and save the equipment or destroy the equipment and hope that works. It does. I don't know if there's a consequence to destroying the equipment, but when I'm later interviewed by the local judges in my THIRD trial on this planet, they seem to appreciate the preservation of the shark and resources. Seems the whole planet's wildlife could have been wiped out.

Oh yeaj, and the star map was by the shark.

So the shark sensed a threat to the planet and so called upon all sea life, including the locals, to fight in its defense. Tho against their will. Interesting, but violent.

So now I have the star map. Time for the end game...I think. Hopefully it won't take much longer. I'm concerned about the final boss fight. Some accidental reading has led me to thinking it'll be tough...and I'm not very motivated for a tough fight.

So, I dont "love" the story. I appreciate the gameplay and dialogue choices, but the dialog is not written particularly well. There's an impatient anger behind it. Like the writer assumed gamers would get board with the story, so offered them harsh dialog choices to compensate.

I've watched several videos from someone claiming to be doing an analysis. He hates the story more than I could dream of. But he's calling out tropes and structure issues. He's not always over critical.

Oh well...

#Zach's Game Journal #PLAYING #Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic #Video Games #Gaming #Android Gaming

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thischapstickaddict · 2 years

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NEEDING/GETTING 3?!?!?!

OKAY SO, there’s actually three files in that folder.

The first is a two-shot about Luke and Leia when they’re nineteen, meeting Han. I have a summary, and exactly two wishes from that fic.

The Force was strong in Luke and Leia.

Their father was a superstitious pilot at heart. He called them gremlins: trouble-makers in the Force. Unexplainable and unanswerable to any rule or logic.

They had nothing on the chaotic entity that was Han Solo.

Find a scenario where Leia has to introduce herself as “General Leia Amidala Organa Skywalker, Princess of Alderaan, Naboo, and Tatooine, Gremlin of the Force and Padawan of the Greatest Jedi” with a completely straight face, while Han mocks every title behind her back.

Find a scene were I can have this exchange play out:

Anakin’s mouth swished across his face. “But he’s so much older than you,” he prodded in that tone that made Luke’s instincts sit up and look for trouble.

Leia did that half-growl, half-laugh noise that said she was looking for a fight. “Remind me: what’s the age gap between you and Uncle Ben again?”

The second is a one-shot with Ashoka and Barriss. It’s tiny so far, and is really me throwing my feelings about the crystal mining industry into a fic:

“Why did you ask for me?” Barriss asked as she parked the cruise car.

“Because I wanted to see you,” Ahsoka replied. It was mostly the truth--but she had also wanted to see if the Jedi would allow it.

Also, even more honestly, the traffic on Coruscant intimidated her. How did anyone manage that with confidence? Everything looked like one stalled engine away from chaos.

The next crystal vendor was tucked into a small corner shop, between a wine seller and fine food grocer and a manufacturing office. It was a quiet little place. She immediately found the first handy display, looking to confirm their origins.

Crystal mining was a bloody practice built on forced labor and plenty of blood. Unless pulled straight out of the earth by her own hands, she risked buying something that would be carrying at taint and trauma. Of whatever brutal methods brought it forth.

Some of those brutalities could be eased. Most could not.

She froze upon seeing the obsidian sphere. It called. Pulled her close. Not like the black adler, which instinctively called to her worst impulses.

No; the obsidian remembered her.

Barriss came up beside her. “What is it?”

“I...I excavated this,” she muttered. Touched the glass encasing it. Tried to press through the barrier to reach it. “I found it. Shaped it. Polished it. It cut me, more than once,” she turned her hand over, showing off a range of scars her fingers and palm boasted. “The old lady sold it before I could finish it.”

She looked at the price tag. And blanched. “That’s nearly ten times what she sold it for!”

“Can’t afford it?”

“Not even close.” She was in shock. Obsidian was powerful, yes. But hardly rare or overly-coveted. It was too brutal. If quartz was the stone that molded and fit against her best energies, her highest wishes, then obsidian was the rigid, unforgiving mirror. Unlike her wonderful white crystal, that amplified and expounded and aided whatever energies were given it, obsidian was unflinching.

The mirror stone; it showed her shadow self back to her without mercy. Intensive and inescapable. Protective, but only if she bent to it. She would never ask anything of obsidian the way she asked for light from sunstones or obfuscation from bull’s eyes or labradorite. She would only supplicate before it.

The third is Anakin and Mace’s first conversation, which I shamelessly ducked out of in the original fic. It’s still kinda rough, and is more dialogue than anything else:

***

“How are you feeling?” Obi-Wan’s face swam before Anakin, the only stable point in a fuzzed outline of reality. Warm palms pressed into his forehead, pushing back his sweat-matted hair.

“Dehydrated,” Anakin replied with a rumble in his chest. His eyes were full of grit and his tongue was thick in his mouth.

The twins were a pair of heat-soaked energy-balls at his side.

He’d need to talk with Ahsoka later. He had felt it when she had slipped on the avalanche of Force work he had enmeshed himself in. He had frozen up, grabbing at her to make sure she wasn’t swallowed by the power he was unleashing.

One of the other Jedi had talked her through it.

Possessiveness and pride warred in him over that.

“Leave us, Master Kenobi.”

Mace Windu was a tower of a man. Anakin’s mother had told him stories about towers, when he was younger. Something about them coming down…

“I don’t think that’s wise.”

Obi-Wan was more of a rulebreaker than Anakin first thought. He bit his tongue to keep from spoiling what was playing out.

“Wise or no, I’d like to speak with Skywalker alone.”

Anakin wasn’t as high-strung as he would have been an hour ago. He knew where his kids were. Ahsoka was warm and safe, if exhausted from sticking her hand right in the middle of his work. He knew Obi-Wan was right outside the door, likely trying to eavesdrop on whatever he could pick up.

In fact, he felt downright mellow.

“Skywalker,” Windu said, calling his attention.

There was something there, he supposed. He had been quick to gauge how each individual Jedi felt about him by what name they conferred upon him. The more hostile ones stopped just short of Darth Vader. A few had opted for the more neutral “Good Sir” or the like.

A small handful had called him Anakin. That surprised him; more so, it touched him in an uncertain, caring kind of way. He hadn’t thought to expect that acceptance from any Jedi besides Obi-Wan.

Windu had found a comfortable the middle ground.

The Jedi took him in from nose to knee. Lingered over his mechanical hand. Anakin glanced down at it, curled into a loose fist against his thigh.

He didn’t think about it much. It was a part of him--he adapted to it long ago, and hadn’t worried about it in years.

“I remember the day I lost my hand,” he said, conversationally. Cheerful, almost. Windu said nothing.

“I was leading a battalion through Rixlon,” Anakin recalled. “Barren little place. A speck of nothing really, in the long term. Amazing how strategically important a speck of nothing can be in a war slog.”

“I remember.”

“Came across this group of Galactic Army grunts. Didn’t think much of it—I’m not much of a soldier. More of a…well, more of a weapon, really.”

“I remember.”

“And then this Master Jedi cut my hand off.”

“I remember.”

Anakin looked back up at Windu. “Why’d you do that, Master Jedi?”

Windu’s face was nearly stone. “It was a favor to you,” he said eventually.

Anakin laughed--there was no humor in it. “Explain that to me,” he said with no small amount of venom in his voice. “Nice and slow. Just so I understand.”

“I tried to disable you,” Windu replied without guile. Or shame. “You tried to kill me. Neither of us succeeded, it seems.”

Anakin leaned forward. Let danger seep into the edges of his aura. “Wanna try again?”

“I’ve explained myself enough. Does Obi-Wan know?”

“He’s never asked about it. Or this,” Anakin said, touching the scar on the side of his face, running through his eyebrow and the apple of his cheek.

“That wasn’t me,” Windu cut down.

It hadn’t been. Anakin dropped his hand.

“If you and Obi-Wan don’t talk about that, what do you talk about?”

“Most of the time, I’m just trying to get him to fuck me on the nearest flat surface,” Anakin replied, as obnoxious as possible and wanting to make Windu uncomfortable. He had plenty of practice wearing this particular role--it was its own kind of armor. And Anakin had plenty of weak points he was desperate to cover, all of them under the roof of the Jedi Temple.

The all-too obvious pieces were there, just waiting to be put together: Windu had all the power in this conversation. The moment he mentioned Luke, Leia, or Ahsoka, he’d have Anakin at his mercy. He’d do anything to keep them safe. If Windu told him to get on his knees and grovel, he’d do it. If he ordered Anakin to cut off his other hand, he’d do it. If he demanded complete, unfiltered access into every recess and sacred space in Anakin’s mind, he’d do it.

And that scared Anakin. He couldn’t defeat that fear, or banish it. So he had to use it.

But his attack went wide. Windu’s face didn’t break, and his aura was too controlled in the Force to give away anything--intrigue, disgust, desire. Nothing.

“And after that?”

“Meditation and conflict,” he said. “Which inevitably leads us back to sex. Works out pretty well for me, actually.”

“I didn’t kill you when I had the opportunity, Skywalker. And try as I might, I never regretted that decision. Do you know why?”

“I’m too cute to kill.”

That got Windu to roll his eyes. “I never killed you, because every time I meditated on your death I saw myself falling to the dark side. And you weren’t worth that.”

“What does falling to the dark side look like to you?”

“Like losing control. What does it look like to you?”

“Like an authoritative rule.”

Windu sat back. “Your children talk a great deal.”

For the first time in their conversation, Anakin’s composure broke. It was a reflex beyond his control. His hand spasmed, his face broke.

“Obi-Wan told me they would be safe,” he whispered. “He <i>swore</i>. I’m asking--fuck, I’m begging you not to make him a liar.”

“No,” Windu commanded. “No, we are going to put this to bed right now, Skywalker. They will never be used as leverage against you. I swear to that right now. But that goes both ways--neither will they be a shield for you. You have things to answer for, and you cannot hide behind them to evade that.”

“I would never--,”

“Stop--this is what I mean. We need to speak about your children, and I need you to behave like their father. Not the man whose hand I cut off. Bringing them into the conversation does not give you license to lose your focus. Obi-Wan’s lessons should have taught you control. Find it now.”

Anakin pulled on every scrap of patience he ever had. It wasn’t much. But his shoulders straightened.

Windu nodded. “As I was saying, your children talk a great deal. For all of that, they manage to say very little. Like how they managed to find a planet that’s been lost to our Order for generations.”

Anakin shrugged, only slightly baffled. He trusted the Force. “I told them to find somewhere safe.”

#needing/getting #obikin #chapstickaddict #ficlets #star wars #Anakin Skywalker #ahsoka tano #mace windu

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nevertheless-moving · 3 years

Text

Pop Star Wars AU: Waking

Drabble set in this au which I wrote way back a few weeks ago.

Back then, I had only recently decided to look up my tumblr password for a third attempt at being an appreciative fandom community member instead of just trying to think really hard at internet strangers, and maybe shout into the void a little. (But there’s like, several people here now??? How did you even find me on the internet? )

Anyway I have since learned how to spell Anakin’s name and insert links. Also that if you resize your window while typing directly into tumblr everything disappears.

Self Indulgent Crack Pop Star Wars Time Travel Fixit (star wars au no 3):

After several years of exile in the Jundland Wastes, Ben Kenobi had not quite finished mentally unpacking the decades of mistakes, grief, and failure that had led him to the desert. It was the work of a lifetime, and some days were harder than others. But after several forays in and out of alcoholism, spice addiction, and every other form of geographically-accessible self-destruction, he could at least say that some days were easier.

The process was no doubt made more difficult by the abject solitude. Unlike the chaotic years that constituted the fall of the Republic, he had all too much time to think, and no one around to share his thoughts with. He closed his eyes in the dark of his hut, thoughts drifting between past and future.

The past was as ugly and lovely as ever. The larger future didn’t look much better, but he could find some joy in the thought of tomorrow and fresh bantha milk when the herd roamed near. Owen was always much less begrudging of his presence when he came with an offering, and Beru would likely invite him to stay for noon meal where he would share in fresh cheese as Luke rambled about his plans to fix-up a junked speeder bike.

The thought of Luke’s happiness at the treat allowed him enough peace of mind to meditate more deeply.

He carefully broke off a piece of unfair-bitterness from his larger loving-grief. The bitterness he released into the force. The grief he turned over and soothed until its edges dissolved. He accepted it, now smoother if not smaller, laying it to rest alongside his hard-earned wisdom and unfinished poetry.

Tired, but fractionally lighter, Ben Kenobi drifted to sleep.

He opened his eyes to the first rays of daylight peeking in his temple chambers.

The room was intimately familiar. For a few years they were Ashoka’s, on the rare occasion she found herself temple-side and in want of privacy but not complete solitude. For a solid decade before her, the chambers were Anakin’s, though he was quick enough to accept the common room couch when Ashoka entered their life. And before that...they were his. That was his model rocket on the shelf, and his astronomical mobile hanging from the ceiling, and his robes scattered on the floor, though they hadn’t been arranged as such in this room since his apprenticeship with Qui-Gon. He sat up.

Glad he had put energy into meditation last night, he used the lingering clarity of mind to try and work through possible explanations.

Vivid Dream? No a quick pinch to his inner elbow debunked that, as well as the fact that the morning taste in his mouth was more the minty tang of denti-cleaner, rather than the saltiness of dried meat which he had grown accustomed to.

Hallucinogenic mushroom flashback? Possible, though it still wouldn’t explain the detail of physical sensations he felt, running his hand from the temple-spun linens on his bed to the warm-carved wood of his bedside table. He stood and did a perfect forward flip in place. Shockingly his knees didn’t ache at impact, but a drug induced hallucination of this intensity would have some sort of impact on his equilibrium, and he felt perfectly balanced, at least physically.

Force vision seemed most likely. Sinking into cross-legged meditation, he gradually lowered his mental shields. There was no whisper of Vader or Palpatine anywhere near Hutt space at this time, so the risk of reaching out was both manageable and necessary. Rather than the pure energy he personally associated with intense visions, he felt gradients of light, echoing ripples of emotions, and the unique solidity of force-imbued stone walls.

Heart beginning to race as reality set in, Ben concluded that he was, indeed, in the Jedi temple on Courascant. Even if he had suffered a complete psychotic break, his force sense couldn’t lie with such crystal clear detail. Confused unreality mixed with images of the past and future, sure. But this was the temple. It just was.

He couldn’t make sense of it. Even if he had somehow been found, drugged, and transported to the heart of the empire, the rooms as he sensed them didn’t exist anymore. The contents were lost or burnt, the stone walls destroyed and rebuilt into a wing of the Imperial Palace.

Obi-Wan sank deeper into the force and reached out further, searching for he answers. In general, the force felt light, the shroud of the darkside was a hazy irritation in the distance, not a smothering blanket. The manifold wounds in the force formed by senseless war and destruction were absent. Also gone were the tang of grief and loss that he had begun to associate with the temple’s signature even before- even before the purge.

The temple was also full to the brim with tens of thousands of lights in the living force. He reached out to them incredulously, nudging many just to feel a living, sentient response. The last time he remembered feeling so many Jedi all in the temple at the same time was...well, when he still lived in this room. The nearest living force sensitive presence was achingly familiar, though notably and unquestioningly living. He could feel the presence moving nearer and retreated, pulling himself fully back into his body.

The only explanation that fit was that he had suddenly, miraculously, inexplicably traveled back in time.

He half ran to his closet, opening the door with a yank to reveal a full length mirror. A once-familiar, 25-year old padawan stared back with visible shock. Of course his knees didn’t hurt, this body hadn’t yet been broken and abused by knighthood, war, and Tatooine. His hands examined the smooth chin, the unwrinkled forehead, and even the terrible, terrible haircut.

Obi-wan startled at a knock at his door, freezing in place.

“Padawan?” Came Qui-Gon Jinn’s voice softly, “I don’t intend to pull you out of meditation prematurely, but is there a particular reason you were sprawling over the temple this morning? You startled me somewhat. To be perfectly honest, I think you might have alarmed a few people around the temple, I’ve already received messages from council telling me to reign in my padawan before he hurts himself.”

Qui-Gon sounded more amused than reprimanding, and he paused, clearly waiting for an answer.

Obi-Wan’s jaw locked up. What could he say? How could he even to begin to explain what had happened? He sank to floor, head pressed to the ground and tears silent streaming down his face. All he could do was offer to the force were words, the feelings could come later Thank you. Thank youThankyouthankyouTHANKYOU.

For whatever reason, the force had granted him a second chance. Regardless if it was intended as punishment, gift, or inexplicable chance, he would build a better future than the one he left behind.

“Padawan?” Qui-Gon knocked again, sounding concerned, “Are you alright? If you don’t answer I’m going to have to come in there.”

And all at once he had flipped back to not enough time to think and too many people needing his attention.

Obi-Wan managed to open his mouth to call out some meaningless assurance, intent on gaining more time to process the fantastical situation. Much to his surprise, what came out was a strangled, keening sob. Qui-Gon burst through the door.

Obi-Wan realized, with a little embarrassment, that he was curled up practically into a ball on the floor, tears streaming in a shocking waste of water. It was probably not the most dignified, nor the most reassuring position for Qui-Gon to walk in on.

Qui-Gon rushed to his side, pulling him up by the shoulders to frantically look him over. “What happened?” he demanded, “Are you hurt? Did something go wrong while you were meditating and you were trying to reach out for help?”

Obi-Wan smiled at the barrage of questions. He had almost forgotten that on the rare occasions when Qui-Gon’s perfect Jedi serenity broke, he became somewhat counterproductively intense.

“I’m alright, Master,” he tried to say, but what came out was more of a croaking, “MNNrlerR.”

This predictably, only increased Qui-Gon’s concern.

To Obi-Wan’s deep consternation, he was dragged by Qui-Gon to the healer’s wing. He remained quiet during the examination, not wanting to risk whatever was compromising his ability to speak. It could be readjusting to his younger body, or a manifestation of the admittedly great emotional shock he was still experiancing. Or simple lack of practice- it had been several weeks since he had last heard the sound of his own voice, from a certain point of view.

After finding no physical cause for concern, Master Vyr asked Qui-Gon to wait outside.

“Padawan Kenobi?” The Tortugan healer asked gently. “Your Master seems quite insistent that something is wrong. Would you like to discuss what the problem seems to be?”

Obi-Wan cleared his throat and was relieved when his voice came out smooth and under his control, “I’m alight, Master. I apologize for disruption. I experienced a... particularly strong vision when I woke up this morning, and temporarily lost control over myself. I’m already feeling more stable. I believe I simply need to meditate on what I’ve seen. My master unfortunately came in while I was dealing with some of the emotional aftermath.

“I see,” Vyr responded. “Did you experience this vision before or after your expansive foray into the force? I understand a surprising swath of the temple felt your presence press against them this morning.”

“I reached out after,” Obi-Wan admitted. “My vision was...particularly dark. I felt the need to ground myself with the presence of other Jedi. I’ll make certain to apologize to anyone I may have startled.”

Eventually he was cleared with the strict instruction to stick with shallow meditation for the next few days as well as a strong recommendation to seek out Master Yoda, Sifo-Dryfas, or one of the other Master known to experience visions.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan walked back to their quarters together in a peaceful quiet. It wasn’t until the door clicked behind them that Qui-Gon rounded on his padawan.

“What vision could possibly have left you in such distress?”

Obi-Wan walked to the kitchenette to make tea, stalling before answering. “You have always told me to stay focused on the present, Master”

Qui-Gon frowned. “Yes, however this...vision seems to have altered you somehow. You are grieved by it.”

“Yes. But what I grieve may never come to pass.”

It won’t come to pass. I might not know his every tool, but I do know Sideous’s biggest secret, and I WILL stop him.

“Will you not tell me what you saw?” Qui-Gon asked, sounding somewhat hurt.

Obi-Wan poured the hot water carefully, feeling torn. If he told Qui-Gon everything... would he believe him? Perhaps, eventually but...what would become of Anakin, still just a boy? And the moment he knew of Palpatine’s evil...he knew Qui-Gon. He would favor the direct approach, underestimating the sheer breadth of the trap the sith had laid (Obi-Wan himself lived through it and only began to understand long after it had closed).

“I saw...a great shadow fall over the republic.”

He sat at the table, relishing in the simple pleasure of pouring a cup for Qui-Gon and himself from a shared pot.

Qui-Gon cradled his mug in his hands. “I see. Nothing specific?”

“Your death. At the hands of a tool of darkness. You ran ahead...” Obi-Wan took a scorching sip to stop himself. “It was foolish. Unnecessary. And I was forced to fight alone without you.

Qui-Gon set the tea down to stroke his beard in thought. “Well. I have no great desire to die. While I make no promises, I will endeavor to avoid leaving you behind ‘unnecessarily.’”

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan replied, over sincere.

They drank in peaceful silence. It was interrupted by a shrill noise from Qui-Gon’s comm.

“I’ve just received a personal request from the Chancellor to immediately assist in negotiations with a Trade Federation blockade around Naboo. Are you feeling up to it?”

“You know, I think I am”

#star wars #pop star wars au #my au #time travel #star wars au no 3

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