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#I've been feeling nostalgic lately lol
swati-art · 8 months
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It's all I have to offer for now
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sysig · 10 months
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Just thinking about @10yrsy’s Things, y’know, casually (Patreon)
#Doodles#IZ#I know Things is long dead but I've been feeling rather nostalgic lately#Man let alone Irkens when was the last time I doodled a Latrodectus haha - and 10's style of antenna! It's all quite nostalgic#I'll try not to get Too sappy but it's hard when I was so inspired by Things! It had a big impact on me#Without exaggeration Things helped shape the trajectory of my life for quite a while - it's interesting to think about artistic influences#But gosh heck I don't think I've doodled anything of any of them since the song contest all those years ago lol#I like to think I've improved a bit since then lol ♪ Though the medium is quite different haha#Finally drew Nid! Only took a Very long time lolol#I do remember having doodled some Extreme roughs for a comic concept ages and ages ago but that's really all I remember lol#Maybe hunting down those old notebooks sometime would be fun haha#ANYway lol - enough reminiscing! There's all this current silliness!#Snarp was my favourite back in the day and I still like him a lot haha#He's a prickly little so-and-so! A cute and spicy lad! Always a fun ♪#If ''little meow meow'' had existed as a term back then I would've used it for him lol he deserves it#It really is about the [unforgivable nature] paired with [unconditional love] hhh their friendship is still really cute <3#Myk! He's always had the most gorgeous design <3 His eyes! My word!#Beauty like that really doesn't age - I was always a fan of the close up of his eye and his skin texture ahh#Probably no one remembers this blog's original icon but hmm ♪ Inspiration down many many avenues haha#Hopefully I did his eyes justice with my limited traditional palette haha#Had to show off his muscles a little too <3 Those gloves man he's just a pretty dude!#I did a bit of editing magic with Nid so if his eyeline doesn't quite match up just sshhhshshshh it's fine lol ♪#Who's saying which and who's gasping hmmm who knows it's a mystery hehe#And ending off with those two again <3 It's their dynamic I swear I just jdslfdsf it gets me bad lol#Squish him hold him (gently (maybe not that gently)) haha
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lilac-writes · 2 years
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Hi there! So, I’m working on a comic of a scene from your fanfic Worthwhile— I just wanted to ask if it would be alright to post it when finished? With proper credit of course! ( btw my art blog is wereah )
I’m planning to post it to tumblr, a03, Twitter, and pillowfort.
Ohhh that's so exciting!! Yes, please do post it when it's finished, and let me know so I can see it!
Can I ask which scene it is, or would you rather keep that to yourself until it's finished?
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mxgicthot · 8 months
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I miss your hc’s about Connor
I'm glad u liked them 🥺
I've been super busy with irl and hyperfixating on a bunch of other stuff, so my brain is all over the place but I still think about my boy :3
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yaksha-lover · 9 months
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I've been thinking about the twst guys + mainly wondering who'd be most likely to get baby fever,,,
Malleus is definitely high on the list imo, as is Kalim... I think also Deuce and Rook?
Leona might not. He's already tired of dealing with Che'ka, he's probably not interested in the idea of raising a kid himself lol.
This is aged-up/set in the future where all of them are at least mid to late twenties and thinking about having children!
Most to Least Likely to Get Baby Fever:
Most Likely
Kalim had so many younger siblings growing up that he loved. That, combined with his friendly and social nature, makes me think he would love to have kids and a lot of them too. He’d be so excited to have his own family so he’d definitely get baby fever once he had a partner.
Malleus doesn’t have a lot of experience with children, but I think having a family of his own is something he would like because of his desire for closeness and a sense of domesticity, especially once he has a partner that he loves. You can’t stop this man from sweet talking you into having the next royal heir (and many more, after that).
Rook, despite what his proclivities might suggest, is very loving and dedicated to his family. He’s surprisingly domestic with his ability to cook and clean, and he loves children. He’s the most likely to have baby fever and randomly come home one day with a bunch of orphans for you to adopt.
Lilia already has Silver, of course, and I think he’d be very nostalgic for Silver’s childhood when he was still just a young baby. I imagine he’d love to relive that eventually, especially if he has a partner by his side to help him give Silver some siblings.
Jack’s wolf beastman thing about having only one partner his entire life makes me think that he’s much more domestic than he lets on. He wants the whole mate for life and have a family fantasy, and he’d definitely start to feel the baby fever once he had a partner he’s settled down with.
Deuce also has a domestic fantasy of sorts, I think he’d want to have children, but he’d also be shy about it. When he sees you playing with the neighbourhood kids, he can’t help but think about having kids together. His mom also bugs him about grandkids, so he’s encouraged by that too.
Trey is absolute househusband material, so he definitely gets baby fever once he’s settled down. I think he’d love to have kids and is pretty confident he’d be a great father, so he doesn’t feel the need to repress his desire to have a family once him and his partner have settled into their lives.
Cater wants children, probably gets baby fever from all the family vlog content he sees. You really have to sit him down and ask him if he knows all the responsibility that no one talks about. He’ll need some time to learn, but once he does he’s game on again and wanting to be a dad.
Ruggie is ambivalent because while he’s used to taking care of the kids in his town (and it comes naturally to him), he knows how insanely expensive kids can be. Once he gets a good enough job to only have to work one, I think he wouldn’t want to go back to working multiple all to have a kid. Thus, has baby fever occasionally but the cold hands of capitalism drag him back to reality.
Vil is someone I think would like to have a couple kids someday, but he’s in no rush considering his career. As he gets older and starts to see everyone else his age have a family, he would start to romanticize it more and more in his mind until he’s coming to you and asking to have a baby with his blond hair and your beautiful eyes.
Silver is relatively levelheaded, so he may get mild baby fever once he has a partner that he’s settled down with, but it’s never a huge priority in his mind. May daydream about it occasionally, but it’s a ‘see as we go’ type thing, not a decided plan.
Sebek is pretty traditional because of his upbringing, thus he does want kids with his partner eventually. At the same time, Sebek and kids don’t exactly mesh. He’d be a lot more mature at this point which would help, but his interactions with children do lessen his baby fever occasionally.
Jade is pretty relaxed about it, while he might want to have children, it’s more planned than anything. He’s aware of the responsibilities and fine with them, he just wants to wait for the right time. Also, he doesn’t care too much for other people’s children, so it will be more the situation with his partner that makes him eager to have his own family.
Floyd does get struck with moments of baby fever, but his mood swings mean it’s often just a passing thought that will dispel as soon as he remembers that kids aren’t just fun and rainbows 24/7. He finds kids fun, but can’t handle the responsibility of a lifetime commitment. Every time he starts to hint that he might want kids with you again, you just have to show him a picture of a diaper and he’ll be like ‘oh wait nvm.’
Epel is kind of in between, he doesn’t hate children but he doesn’t particularly love them either. He would want a family eventually, but doesn’t get struck with the urge to have babies particularly often, only when he’s feeling nostalgic for his own family.
Riddle is pretty self-aware about his trauma, and it scares him away from having children. He does want his own child, but he’s too afraid to become his mother. If you reassure him enough, he’ll let the domestic fantasy overtake his fear, and start to get excited about having a child in the future.
Azul is too busy working to really think about having a family. He wouldn’t mind having one or two eventually, but he doesn’t really dream about having kids when you and his work keep him busy enough.
Ace doesn’t have the patience for kids or the desire to have them. He’s happy to be the fun uncle to his brother’s kids and give them back once they need actual parenting. He might want to have one kid eventually, but he’d much rather it just be him and his partner for now.
Idia knows he can barely take care of himself, how can anyone expect him to take care of a kid? He’s happy with his little family of you and Ortho, no baby fever for Idia.
Jamil’s already had a child to take care of his whole life (Kalim) so he’s disillusioned with the fantasy of domestic bliss and having kids since he knows all its pitfalls. He won’t be getting baby fever anytime soon.
Leona explicitly doesn’t like kids, so I think his placement here is pretty self-explanatory. He’s aware just how difficult it is to raise a child and he honestly has no interest in it for now. When he’s feeling a bit sappy, I think he might fantasize about having a family from time to time, but he knows he only would enjoy the ‘good’ parts and not any of the work, so he wouldn’t want to go through with it.
Least Likely
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freshbakedbreadstick · 10 months
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No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Prologue
Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader
Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader
Richie Herimovich x F!Platonic!Reader
Summary: After running for so long, it was time to come home
Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers and angst. Mentions of death, mental health issues, and toxic relationships. It’s not graphic or detailed in this one but I just want to warn you now that this series will deal with extremely heavy topics as it goes on (similar to the show).
Word Count: 1.6k
A/N: Hey bestiesssssssssss!!! This is my first ever series and actually first ever written work that I'm posting lol and I'm so excited for it!!! I'm starting off with a series because i had this really good and angsty idea while reading ANOTHER fantastic piece of work and was like “fine…….. I'll do it myself” so i'm here now writing it lmao anyways i'm starting off posting my fanfics with Mikey and Carmy because i've been a little too focused on The Bear lately n love them so much. Chapter one of this series should be coming up this time next week so dw abt waiting so long for an update!! Anyways i hope you all enjoyyyy <3
MASTERLIST
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The cool Chicago night air nips at you as it blows by, rolling along the exposed skin of your arms. It was 3 in the morning and the street where The Original Beef of Chicagoland stood was empty and silent.
The building stood before you, quiet and lifeless. It was odd seeing it so silent and it almost seemed… peaceful. But one glance at the rusting sign that seemed to be barely hanging onto the building made the façade of tranquility fall.
The knot in your stomach grew as your eyes traced over the rusted sign and then onto the walls that showed cracks and age. The sidewalk wasn’t any better with uneven cement and haphazard patching. Just then, a piece of trash rolled by the curb, coming from the alley right next to The Beef. 
It was just like how you remembered it. 
The wear and tear was what originally made you appreciate it. It showed use and love, the same way that laugh lines around a person’s mouth showed you that they lived a life full of smiles and laughter. The walls were in use as hundreds filed in and out of the building for their favorites, every week. The floor was worn away underneath the soles of families, drunk friends, older couples, working folk, and more. The ungentrified building made the whole thing feel nostalgic, despite not being a building you were around as a child. It had felt… familiar in a both comforting and melancholic way. 
But now, seeing the building, especially with its marks of age, made your blood run like ice through your veins. It made you shiver, despite it being September in Chicago. 
What once was a warm and inviting place felt cold and even scary. 
It had been months since you spoke to the Berzattos. Actually, it had been months since you were in Chicago at all. About 8 months, that is. You left in February after… everything and never looked back. The east felt too familiar at that point, so you traveled west.
You chased the highs and avoided the lows, moving from one place to another until you settled in a quiet town where you felt loved. But that love didn’t come without its challenges and when it got hard, you did what you knew best and that was leaving. 
So you left with no clue as to where you were going, too proud but mainly too afraid to reach out to the family you had in Chicago. You drove with a car full of junk you couldn't even stand looking at anymore for all the memories of the past couple of months attached to them made your stomach churn. With no place to go, you found yourself, 5 days after leaving and living in your car, sitting on the hood of your 2002 Chevy Impala, stopped and watched the sunset of the west for the last time at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere with your head hurting and eyes puffy. It was then when your phone buzzed. 
The cracked screen blinked brightly as you glanced over at it.
‘Please come home, we miss you - Nat’
Your mouth dried as you read the message. Your heart pounded in your ears as your eyes raced over the words over and over and over.
‘Please come home, we miss you’
‘Please come home, we miss you’
‘Please come home, we miss you’
‘Please come home, we miss you’
‘Please come home, we miss you’
‘Please come home, we miss-
Another message popped up then, interrupting your reading and making you jump. 
‘I promise it’s okay’
Your hands trembled. How Sugar got your number after you changed it twice to avoid your ex from the west was a mystery but it almost felt like divine intervention as you read it under the glow of the cotton candy clouds in the sky. 
‘Come home’
So you made the decision to go back. 
To go home. 
But this decision didn’t mean that you were leaving right away; for two months you practically lived in motel rooms and in your car, pacing back and forth for hours in parking lots, empty hallways, and tiny motel rooms at the thought of facing everyone again. Would they be upset? Angry? Sad? Would they hate you? Welcome you with open arms? Especially after abandoning them the way you did? 
Some nights were spent breathing deeply and slowly, desperately trying to get your heart to beat at a reasonable pace and other nights were spent with tears streaming down your cheeks. You almost even decided to just not come home at all; it felt like moving out of the country and assuming a new identity would be easier to deal with than going home.
But you got yourself together and after pawning everything you didn’t mind parting with for cash, you drove with a lighter trunk and a lighter heart across the country and eastward toward Illinois. 
Before you knew it, the giant ‘WELCOME TO ILLINOIS, THE LAND OF LINCOLN’ sign had appeared in your vision. It greeted you like an old friend, making your eyes sting and your chest tighten as your car zoomed by it. 
Two hours away from Chicago, your stomach would not stop growling so you decided to stop and grab a bite to eat. After settling your car at a nearby park next to an empty bench, you got off and focused a bit too much on grabbing your belongings to notice what your surroundings looked like. 
It wasn’t until you had sat down and ripped the bag of food open, when the smell of a salami and mozzarella sub wafted in the air, perking you up and prompting you to smile softly, that you glanced up. Over the dark green shrubs and still water of Peoria Lake were cotton candy clouds, nearly identical to the ones that you had seen while sitting on the hood of your car, terrified and hoping for a sign, any sign, that what you were doing was the right thing. 
Five minutes later, your car was back on the highway and speeding towards Chicago.
You stayed over at your parents’ house that night. They were overjoyed to see their child. Your mother cried, holding onto you as your father rubbed your back, comfortingly. Part of you wanted to, so badly, melt into their arms, but another part of you reminded you of the last time you were here. Despite the furniture being different and the decorations being rearranged, your body twitched as it remembered the exact emotions and position you were in when you got the news. 
The news that your boyfriend, Michael Berzatto, was found dead.
You couldn’t sleep that night, nor the next, or even the one after that. You got a combined total of about 15 hours of sleep in the past 72 hours, making you look and feel exhausted. But your mind was the only thing that wasn’t exhausted from replaying the memory over and over and over. 
About 5 days after you arrived, you got another message from Sugar. This time, a pit formed in your stomach as you read it.
‘Hey, it’s me again! Can you swing by The Beef tomorrow? I'm working there now and would love to see you. I’m sorry this is on such short notice but I've been crazy busy and I heard you were in town. I really want to see you and if you can’t do tomorrow, let me know so we can plan another day.
We really do miss you.’
You rock your jaw and put your phone down on the edge of the twin mattress you sat on, in your childhood bedroom. Right then, your mom gently knocks on your bedroom door before pushing it open.
“Have you talked to Natalie at all yet?” she said softly, clasping her hands together and leaning against the door frame.
You huffed and smiled weakly, of course your mom would mention something to her, that’s how she knew you were here. While your mom respected you doing things on your own time, she also knew that you needed a little push to make that connection. 
“Uhm… yea she just texted me. I uh, i might see her tomorrow at The Beef,” you murmured with a shaky breath. 
Thank god Sugar ended up being the one to text you instead of you texting her. 
Your mom smiled sweetly, “I think you should go, sweetheart. I know it seems scary but… I think it’s time you saw them…” 
Nodding, you turn and crawl up to the pillows of your bed. With a sigh, you lay down and close your eyes, exhausted. 
From your door frame, your mom quietly watched you and sighs softly. She slowly grabs your door and closes it behind her as she leaves. The hallway light goes off, leaving you and your thoughts alone in the pitch black dark.  
And here you were, a couple hours after you read her message, standing across The Beef on a cool Chicago night with the air nipping at your exposed skin as it blows by. You left in such a rush that you forgot to bring a hoodie and didn’t even bother to change from your thin pajama pants and loose old t-shirt. All you did was throw on your shoes and climb out your window, car keys clutched in your sweaty palm, like you used to do in high school to sneak off with Mikey. 
But those days seemed so far away now the same way that The Beef seemed so far away. It felt as if the trek across the street actually spanned thousands of miles and not a minute walk. 
So you sighed and turned around, walking down the sidewalk and back to your car. Who knew what time it was anymore, but you knew that you really needed to get rest tonight… you had a big day tomorrow. 
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snaililita · 8 months
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I adore Len and Rin! I have been trying my hand in x readers lately by making a load of Lyney x Reader so why not make some nostalgic (for me at least) Len x Reader🤔? As cringe as it may sound I've been reading all the fics left over by the fandom of old since I was 10 I'm so obsessed with Len>< So I pretty much have a headcanon for everything under the sun about him! So this mini thing will be a breeze:>
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Len is a very cautious lover.
Used to all the memes and hate he used to regularly get back when the Vocaloid fandom was rampant; he is very hesitant with just about everything he does lest it become yet another meme and another reason to make fun of him.
As you can guess this leads to major anxiety and constantly feeling like he has done something wrong.
Please don't let him feel this way.
This being said, he is great at recognizing panic/anxiety attacks long before they happen.
He has a tendency to memorize what triggers them and avoids those places/topics entirely.
It's almost like he was built to be some form of anxiety relief android. Maybe he has some beta coding for future therapy androids?
Either way despite his physical age and mindset his is incredibly observant and can read a person pretty well.
He has a tendency to make assumptions though.
Brush his hair and don't tell him he needs to whack his ponytail off.
He'll love you.
Maybe he will let you braid it if you ask nicely.
He owns a saluki named Happy. No questions asked.
No he does not co-own her with Rin. Happy is *his* dog and neither him or the dog will accept otherwise.
If his dog approves of you 9 times outta 10 he will too.
He also likes cats, he and Rin are just allergic.
If you're someone like me and covered in cat hair 24/7, he will sneeze around you all the time.
It's cute though.
Len sneezes are adorable.
He is bad at english/kanji class please help him.
That being said he is a math wizard.
If you're like me and suck at math he can help you don't need to worry.
He would probably just do your homework for you if you ask.
Which is why you shouldn't.
Len has a problem with doing things for others so he'll do just about anything (within reason) for you if he loves you enough.
We already know he would die for his sister if I had to guess he would die for you too if you won him over.
He will take his hoodie off for you and let you wear it. He never takes his hoodies off.
Please please protect him.
Him is verr ee wholesome.
Len has some serious self doubt issues (as I mentioned earlier) so remind him that he *is* talented and that his sister isn't any better than he is.
I mentioned earlier he is good at recognising the signs of a panic attack and I think he is just as prepared to handle them as he is good at sensing them.
If you need words of comfort he can provide you with those but if you just want him to hold you while you cry he can do that too.
He actually prefers the latter because he is afraid he may say something wrong.
He has attachment issues and separation anxiety.
To certain extent he has separation anxiety with his sister and dog but it's not as bad as it is with you.
He gets so nervous and scared. He doesn't like being without you.
He is also super attached to you because you aren't mean to him.
That's probably one of the big reasons he loves you so much; you treat him like a person.
Len gets angry when people say he is a little gay twink.
He likes girls too!
He thinks no matter what's in your pants if your beautiful and kind you are beautiful and kind>:[
Please play minecraft and animal crossing with him♡♡♡
He is often littered with band-aids for no reason. He thinks they look cool lol.
Big cuddler!
Winter and autumn are his favourite seasons because he can cuddle with you in bed and wear layers:)
He has *so* many blankets and he shares all of them with you!
Doesn't mind if you fart in the bed. Doesn't run away squealing in disgust like his sister. Literally could not care less it's no different from a sneeze to him. True manliness right there.
Apple cider is his favourite!
He loves the smell so much his room has diffusers everywhere in it and they all have the scent:)
He also has his windows open a lot of the time!
So it smells like that windy-open-window-bedroom *and* apple cider!
If you open his door without expecting it, it's like being hit in the face with essence of bard. (If you get it you get it.)
Hates anything to do with zombies. They trigger panic attacks in him because he knows he would survive because he is an android but he wouldn't know how to keep you and your loved ones safe.
Not knowing what to do in certain situations enduces anixety and panic attacks in him whether it be an on the spot question from a teacher or just thinking about a situation like such his room.
He cries a lot.
I mean he is adorable and it's impossible to not find him cute when he does cry but he has one of those crying faces that makes you just feel so much guilt and a need to protect him.
Smooch his cheeks when he cries, if you do it enough he cries a little less.
Don't make him bottle up his emotions though, but also help him to stop crying because it's not very good for his eye cameras.
His eyes can glow in the dark by the way.
Every android's can.
But his are so pretty! When they glow they are a bright, electric blue that fades into a slightly deeper shade and they are *so*, SO sparkly!!
Make sure to tell him his sparkle eyes are beautiful✨✨
He has a lot of plushies.
He likes Journey to the West and is a Sun Wukong enthusiast!
He really likes Dragon Ball so he wanted to know about the design origins of Goku and you get the picture.
He doesn't quite understand all the symbolism in JTTW but he still enjoys it regardless because MONKEY KING SMASH!!!
Has a lanyard that he really likes and doesn't take off often.
He has a Vocaloid tomogatchi and the little character in it is the same Rin he has had since he first got it back when they were released.
He can't let his sister die on him!
His sister has one with him in it that she takes just as good care of♡
They may argue all the time but they really do love eachother!
Len and Rin are you best friends and Len is the best, most accommodating boyfriend you could ever ask for so please treasure him and his sister you lucky you!
Handle with care U^U
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shepscapades · 2 months
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not you coming back just to remind me of my old pokemon obsession/j
I remember watching Pokemon XYZ series when I was younger (probably the closest thing to anime I've ever watched) I used to be a hardcore fan back then, used to watch many gameplays theories stuff and all...-
Pokemon were like,,, my only interest back then? Damn I used to be crazy about those creatures, still remember how whenever I was playing a Pokemon game my team was almost exclusively flying types (birds! I love them!) and an Eevee (later one of the eeveelutions, probably vaporeon)
I don't recall watching your animatic in the past but it feels very familiar to me like some kind of deja vu so it's possible I've actually seen it before! And I must say it has a very nostalgic feel to it! I can see how much you've improved since then but the animatic still is very cool! I love it <3
(ALSO I almost forgot how much I loved Sycamore's design back then ghghhghghgh he's such a pretty man)
Welp, now I go back to watching Welsknight and some other Pokemon animatics because you messed with my algorithm and led me into diving into an old obsession -
LMAOOO MAY <3 I’m so sorry for the YouTube algorithm that’s so funny XD yeah idk, Pokémon’s one of those things that never left me— mcyt has been at the forefront of my hyperfixations for a very long while but I still always play the new games and have brief Pokémon obsessions every now and then hehe (also!!! flying pokemon and eevee beloved!!! <333333)
Funny enough, it always happens at times like these when most of my Drawing Brain+Brainrot is taken up by school or professional work, bc my free time is instead spent playing games I can zone out to like Pokémon :>
About 2 months ago I picked up Legends Arceus for the first time since I didn’t get to finish it two years ago, and seeing cheeky references to the characters I grew up with + the insane plot that is this game gripped me so tightly that I’ve kinda been in a Pokémon spiral (/pos) ever since LOL. I’ve been a submas freak lately and if anyone who has ever been into the funny train men has me on discord they’ll know that my status is very telling <3 maybe I’ll post some of the background doodles I’ve been doing lately!! I’m such a freak about minecraft idk why I’m embarrassed to be equally freakish about the other ““game for children”” LMAO
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temnurus · 9 months
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Wangxian Top Ten Fic Recs
So. I got into MDZS/The Untamed back in February, & I've sort of fallen into a Wangxian black hole from which I am not sure I will ever emerge. Thusly, I've been reading a ton of Wangxian fanfiction lately & have acquired quite a few favorites. Naturally I had to eventually compile a rec list lest I combust with all the barely suppressed love I have for this ship.
Now you lucky people get to reap the benefits of all my hard work because not only have I ranked my top ten, I am also including a bunch of honorable mentions because I'm ridiculous & have no self restraint because I'm such a kind & generous person. Note that the honorable mentions are not ranked & are listed in no particular order.
Fair warning, all of these recs are rated Explicit because I enjoy either a sprinkling or a flood of adult content with my fics. It's far from the focus of many of them, but it's there to varying degrees in each. Also, some of these fics cover some heavy content that may be triggering for some folks, so please do mind the tags & any authors' notes for your own peace of mind.
And with no further adieu, onto the recs!
1. Scars Where They Used to Be by CwythanWind (E, 58,467)
Thoughts: I lost count of how many times I cried in this fic. It was gorgeous in every sense of the word. The characterizations were phenomenal. Wei Ying’s pain was palpable, & the pining was agonizing. Lan Zhan conveying his love through poetry made me sob like a baby twice. The prose was just that beautiful. I can’t recommend this enough. As soon as I finished it I knew it was going to become my favorite Wangxian fic, & nothing has managed to top it yet.
2. Beneath Your Skin by Wrenwolf (E, 147,201)
Thoughts: I was sold on tattoo artist Wei Ying from the word go, haha, but Lan Zhan as an antiques dealer was also surprisingly on point. I go on about characterization a lot in these recs, but I have to tell you that Lan Zhan's here is one of my absolute favorites. I felt like I'd crawled into his skin & was just living there right along with him. And don't get me started on Wei Ying in this fic. I just.. fuck, I cried so much, y'all, & it was incredibly cathartic. Nie Huaisang was my favorite side character in this, & they were an absolute BAMF! You can't go wrong with this one. It's just stunning.
3. Pentimento. by orange_crushed (E, 72,966)
Thoughts: This fic was full of sentiment: regrets, longing, & so, so nostalgic. The love of art was apparent & beautifully on display here, & it added a richness to the whole thing. I cried several times during this from the empathy I had for both Lan Zhan's & Wei Ying's experiences (can you sense a theme with my favorites making me overly emotional? lol). The tone got heavy in places, but it didn't feel graphic or overwhelming at any point for me. The writing was just fantastic, & I've enjoyed a few more of the author's fics since I read this one.
4. i'm gonna drown when you wake up by teenjiism (E, 51,752)
Thoughts: I related to this fic on several levels because both characters are portrayed as neurodivergent in ways that felt very authentic, & I rarely see it done as well as it was here. I have ADHD, & Wei Ying's headspace felt extremely familiar, ha. Lan Zhan & Wei Ying's friendship was so lovely here, too. I adored their easy intimacy & how they were each other's favorite person before Wei Ying even realized he was in love with Lan Zhan. Oh yes, this is another fantastic oblivious Wei Ying/One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again fic. The pining was perfect, & the overall sweetness of their relationship made this a very floaty/happy reading experience for me, personally.
5. Nothing But Trouble by brooklinegirl (E, 60,318)
Thoughts: Continuing with the theme of One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again, this was a hilarious & heady fake dating scenario fic. His cluelessness reached new heights in this one, & I about died when he came up with the idea that naturally he & Lan Zhan should practice things like kissing for authenticity's sake. (Oh Wei Ying, you sweet summer child... he kills me; can you tell?) I loved how matter-of-fact Lan Zhan was about the whole thing, too. I laughed a lot during this fic. I even blushed a couple of times, too! Highly enjoyable & a must-read for me.
6. you've ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132,713)
Thoughts: None of the parents in this fic are doing a good job, but hey, they didn't in canon either, in my not-so-humble opinion. It's not what I focused on in the fic, but the tags certainly amused me. I haven't come across many texting fics in MDZS, so this was a pleasant & welcome surprise. The whole fic wasn't done through texting, but their text exchanges were SO CUTE. Lan Zhan texted exactly how I thought he would in this, & it made me laugh every time. The pining was lovely, & when they finally got to see each other in person again in New York I was glued to my computer until I finished the fic. I adored the tone of this one. It was great & just a really fun read.
7. and so my heart beats wildly by lily_winterwood (E, 106,435)
Thoughts: This was one of the most original modern AUs I've seen & featured competitive cultivation that had a Hunger Games meets professional figure-skating competition vibe. It was wild, but it made sense when I read it, I promise. The author was very good at fleshing out their world, & I was fascinated by the concept. Wei Ying once again failed to notice Lan Zhan was in love with him, & his confusion over their interactions never failed to entertain me. I never get tired of their dynamic, y'all, & it was just perfect here. I highly recommend this one.
8. Falling to the Rhythm by Selenay (E, 128,916)
Thoughts: Ever seen So You Think You Can Dance or Strictly Come Dancing? This was basically that but Wangxian! Wei Ying was stunning as a professional dancer being handed a socially awkward, concert violinist Lan Zhan & having to teach him to dance in front of the nation for 12 weeks, & I absolutely loved Lhan Zhan in this. He was precious. The sexual tension during some of the dances was electrifying, & watching them fall in love over the course of the filming of the show was a delight to read.
9. Two Dollar Coffee by marizousbooty (E, 145,286)
Thoughts: I almost fell out of my chair laughing because how do you acquire an accidental sugar daddy?! Well, if you read this fic, you'll find out. One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again! Yeah, it's one of my favorite AO3 tags, so sue me, lol. The sex was obviously one of the highlights, which I am known to enjoy in a fic (don't judge me, Puritans), but it certainly wasn't the only thing that was well written here. I loved everything about this from beginning to end.
10. things that make it warm by yabakuboi (E, 33,327)
Thoughts: This fic hurt my feelings, not gonna lie. I cried ugly tears at the break up, but I've always had a hard time with reconciliation fics. It was very worth it, however. The way the fic covered their relationship growing & changing over time was very compelling, & a highlight of this for me was Wei Ying's relationship with the Wens, particularly A'Yuan. It was very sweet amongst an ocean of angst, haha. I read this in the span of a couple hours. Just couldn't be torn away. If you're a sucker for angst with a happy ending, then you might want to check this one out.
Honorable Mentions
The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70,972)
Thoughts: This was so heartwarming I couldn't stop smiling over how adorable it was. Kid fics aren't typically a favorite of mine, but I do enjoy a really good one every now & then. This was one of the best I've read, to be honest. A'Yuan was the sweetest little angel, & he was so cute with Wei Ying spazzing out about every aspect of his care. Lan Zhan being the quiet, responsible source of reason & support was expected but of course always a welcome addition to the mix. Accidental Baby Acquisition isn't a tag I'd seen before, but it's a new favorite when it comes to Wangxian getting to be surprise parents together, haha.
undone (the spreadsheet song) series by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 282,452)
Thoughts: This is a two part series that tells the same story from each love interest’s point of view, a la Rivals by Reiya in the YoI fandom, which is one of my favorites of all time. Similarly, this story is also phenomenally written. I was sucked in immediately & read both fics over the span of like 3 days. I actually read Lan Zhan’s POV fic (the second in the series) in a single day. I was spellbound by the whole thing, couldn’t get enough. I highly recommend this. The characterizations are incredible, & the emotions are so intense I couldn’t help but feel everything right along with each of them as the story progressed.
My only word of caution is that if you have a hard time reading about Wangxian being intimate with people other than each other you might want to skim/skip those sections of the second fic like I had to. The author makes it fairly easy by giving a heads up in the author’s notes at the beginning of each chapter in which that occurs, which I very much appreciated.
Many happy returns. by orange_crushed (E, 25,470)
Thoughts: This fic started with a very serendipitous first meeting between businessman Lan Zhan & Wei Ying, who he mistook for the (non-sexual) escort he'd hired for the evening. I nearly died of mortification right along with poor Lan Zhan when he figured out his mistake. Him confessing this to Wei Ying was painfully awkward & hurt my heart, but fear not! We all know I can't handle a fic without an eventual happy ending, haha. Watching their instant connection develop into something more was such a treat. I loved this fic quite a lot for it being a quicker read for me.
Multiphonics by androkastia (E, 63,705)
Thoughts: Wei Ying was such a lovable disaster in this (as he often is, bless him). Him & Lan Zhan both being in the orchestra was a fun idea, & I loved the author's choice of the harp for Lan Zhan's instrument. I thought it was very different from the usual violin or cello choice I've seen previously but still suited him perfectly. I also loved his overall characterization, down to his fashion sense being tastefully eclectic when his style is usually portrayed as very stuffy & conservative. I really enjoyed this college/university AU, & I've read quite a few of them at this point. So obviously this one stood out.
No Compasses, No Signs by brooklinegirl (E, 36,041)
Thoughts: Ah, finally! A soulmate fic. A Temnurus rec list really wouldn't be complete without at least one. This was a modern AU, which made it especially fun when their soul bond inexplicably manifested as they literally collided with each other on the sidewalk. It was painful watching them fumble for answers to why they suddenly knew things about each other they had no way of knowing only moments before, but the sweet conclusion made it more than worth the temporary angst.
A Haunting Love by Selenay (E, 64,621)
Thoughts: This was another very unique modern with magic AU, & I was nervous because Wei Ying was a ghost haunting Lan Zhan's new house in the quiet little town he moved to in order to write his next novel. Naturally Lan Zhan became ensnared by the mystery surrounding Wei Ying's departure. This had a very romantic feel to it, intensely poetic in a way that I found very alluring. There were even thriller-esque moments towards the end of the story, so it had a bit of everything, all of it equally satisfying to read.
love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360,042)
Thoughts: This was an example of a cool MDZS-specific trope I hadn't seen before, & in it Wei Ying, the infamous Yiling Patriarch, was a cultivator who had achieved immortality (aka, he's OP as fuck but in a fun way). The great sects enlisted his help to win the Sunshot Campaign, & what did he demand in return? Lan Zhan's hand in marriage, of course! It was a fantastic slow burn in which poor Lan Zhan suffered the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with his own husband. An amazing & complex plot, chock-full of angsty goodness.
a place to hide (can't find one near) by yiqie (E, 76,091)
Thoughts: I'm giving y'all a heads up first thing that this fic pulled no punches when it came to the heavier subject matter covered in the tags & author's note. Some of the descriptions were fairly graphic, so please take care of yourselves when considering this one. That said, it was a powerful portrayal of someone suffering from mental health issues & the long & often complicated journey of healing. This one also happened to contain a love story so beautiful that I was brought to tears several times by Lan Zhan's patient & loving care for his most important person, nevermind all the times I cried at the sad parts! I found the emotional cost of those very much worth the payoff of their happy ending, which is why I just had to include this one.
Just You, Just Me (Just Us, Just We) by wincechesters (E, 19,777)
Thoughts: Lan Zhan thought his brother made him an appointment at an acupuncturist & was aghast when he discovered it was for a session with a professional cuddler instead! Enter Wei Ying, gratuitous cuddle therapy, & his usual chaotic charm. Poor Lan Zhan being so overwhelmed while also becoming hopelessly besotted made me laugh, bless his fragile little heart. This was an adorable & light-hearted fic that made me want to go back & reread it almost immediately, haha.
my age has never made me wise by idrilka (E, 63,439)
Thoughts: I absolutely loved this. It was pretty CQL (The Untamed) compliant & told the post-canon story of Wei Ying wandering alone as a rogue cultivator after the events of the show. Of course he was pining after his zhiji the entire time, so when he heard gossip that the Chief Cultivator might be married by summer's end it nearly undid him. The angst was excruciating, but at the same time, One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again fics somehow always manage to be fun at the same time. I've read several post-canon, wandering Wei Ying stories, & this one was particularly good.
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windchimesgames · 4 months
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End of Year Recap + Plans for 2024
Hey everyone!
Belated Happy New Year to everyone! I know this is a very late end of year recap 😂Unfortunately, the past week ended up much busier for me than expected, so I could only get around to doing this now that things have calmed down a little.
This is a crosspost of a public post I made on Patreon a few days ago, so if you prefer the formatting there, you can read the post at this link:
PS: I do free monthly devlogs / posts there on Patreon, so consider joining the free tier of the Patreon even if you aren't interested in the paid tiers!
For those who'd rather read the post here, I'll leave the extraordinarily long ramble in a Read More cut below!
Let's start with a quick recap of the highlights / achievements accomplished in 2023!
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Okay, this one may be slightly cheating. While Emberfate only launched on Steam in Jan 2023 so the 92 positive reviews came in in the year of 2023, it was up on Itch.io since mid 2022, so not all 383 Itch.io ratings came in in 2023.
Still, I'm pretty proud of these stats! Perhaps the numbers are nothing compared to some other amazing games' out there, but it's still something I'm proud of. It makes me happy that my silly experimental nostalgic little game struck a chord in so many players — much more than I expected given how niche the topic was!
Now, unfortunately, I could not get Emberfate's DLC for Potato's route out by end of 2023 like I had hoped. Porting the game to mobile also ended up much more difficult than I expected because of just how much of the UI I'm going to have to redesign — and hence, programming to be redone — if I wanted to make the game fit a small mobile screen. So both plans are going to have to be postponed to 2024.
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The other notable highlight of 2023 is that both Lyrissa's and Kierdan's routes for Reanimation Scheme were released for beta access! That put the game at 3/5 routes complete, with a total of 431,786 words for the script.
I recruited a handful of beta testers to test the three completed routes a few months ago, and so far, the feedback has been positive overall. That's been a huge relief and lifted a massive weight off my chest — due to the controversial reception of the demo, I've been extremely anxious that the game would be hated by the players, and I've done so many rounds of editing and honestly perhaps somewhat unnecessary and obsessive rewriting of the script, but none of it felt good enough 😂 So hearing the positive comments has been a huge motivation / morale booster. Perhaps I should have done beta testing sooner… LOL
There are two more achievements unrelated to a specific game project that I'd like to mention:
2023 is the year that I became more interested in and better at Ren'Py programming! Most of it is thanks to my amazing programmer friend and Ren'Py wizard, Feniks (whom you may know as the programmer for Our Life series), who sparked my interest in programming and helped teach me a LOT. While I'm by no means a professional now at coding, I feel much more comfortable navigating around Ren'Py code and setting up what I need to in the backend of the games I'm developing, which opens up new doors for me for future projects in terms of what kind of features (big or small) that I may be able to include! Though the side effect of that is I looked back at the code I did for Reanimation Scheme from previous years and was immediately horrified by how ugly and inefficient it was. 😂I did redo the backend code of the Gallery and Achievements system a bit, but the rest will just have to stay for now.
I made quite a few new connections within the indie VN dev sphere in 2023! I made a shocking discovery that there's enough number of indie VN developers from Hong Kong to fill half a minibus, and I was lucky enough to connect with them and share our experiences and learn from each other! Due to new project commissions I took on for $$$ (real life financial needs suck), as well as a couple of small game jam projects I joined as programmer to buff up my programming portfolio, I also made some new VN dev friends unexpectedly. It's been really nice, because honestly, solo dev can be a really lonely and isolating endeavor sometimes. I'm super grateful for the new connections I found myself making in 2023!
Looking Ahead: 2024
Okay, that was a lot of rambling for the recap. More than I thought I would write. Now let's move forward to what the future will look like for this studio in 2024 and what goals I'm setting for myself this year!
Priority #1: Finishing Reanimation Scheme
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Of course it's Reanimation Scheme. As mentioned above, we're currently at 3 out of 5 routes completed (sans partial voice acting). So the biggest goal for 2024 will be to get the game done. and out. Finally.
I won't be giving a concrete release date until we're like, literally in beta phase for all 5 routes, just so I won't have to announce a delay and let people down. But given the current progress and pace of work, I'd say probably around mid-year — maybe Q3 latest.
I'll be keeping up with the episodic updates of Reanimation Scheme's beta build on Patreon (and Kickstarter) from this month onwards, beginning with Jori's route and then followed by Sebastien's.
The remaining Kickstarter rewards may take a little longer — but ideally, all of them (artbook / lorebook / short stories collections, etc.) will be done by end of the year as well.
Priority #2: Potato's Route DLC for Emberfate
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Potato, poor Potato. His DLC had to be put on the sidelines until Reanimation Scheme is done.
Half of the art has already been commissioned and completed by the amazing Remnantation — we're just missing his selfie CG & his MMO character sprite! So the next step would be the script and then the voice acting for the calls part. I won't be able to start on the script until mid-2024 earliest, but given the fact that his route won't be that long if it's parallel in length compared to the existing three routes, it probably won't take too long to do. Perhaps 2-3 months for the development process of the DLC?
I'll likely be releasing his DLC early on Patreon, potentially also episodically as it's completed, like I did with Emberfate. So if you're interested, keep an eye out for it when the time comes!
Something Secretly Brewing in the Shadows?
If you're pledged to this Patreon on $10 tier or above, you'll probably already know what I'm alluding to.
I won't be announcing or talking much about this for now, since I don't know when I'll be able to start working on this project properly (i.e. I need to meet my above two goals first). For all I know, it might end up being not a 2024 thing but a 2025 thing. So I'll only tease it slightly for now here.
Bonus Goal: Market, for the Love of God
If you follow Wind Chimes Games on either Twitter or Tumblr, you'll probably have noticed the sorry state of my social media. I… really do not like marketing or posting on social media. I never know what to post or say. I'm too unfunny and uncreative to meme or write humorous captions that get engagement. 😂It kind of feels like I'm shouting into the void, and nobody really cares about what I have to say on my projects when there's so many cooler and more interesting things out there. So I always try for a brief period of time, and then I give up 😭
This year though, I really really need to take marketing more seriously. With two releases planned for 2024, marketing is going to be important if I want the games to sell more than like 20 copies LOL
So I guess, uh, hold me to it and call me out if I don't start posting regularly after all 🥹
Conclusion
If you've made it this far on this post, thank you so much for listening to me ramble. 🥹 2024 is going to be a very busy year, but hopefully, a productive one that will end with me meeting all of the above listed goals.
Thank you so much for joining me on the wild and bumpy journey that was 2023, and I hope you'll stick around for the exciting things to come this year too! Here's to a great year ahead of all of us!
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spiteless-xo · 11 months
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hi! i love your work on ao3 so much ahh 🩷🩷
what kind of music do you headcannon the characters of tbaw to listen to? i’ve been wondering since the reader/eren car scenes hehe
Ok, so it's taking me a million years to respond to this because I'm making PLAYLISTS and I have to listen to a lot of songs I've never heard before, but I don't wanna leave this unanswered for too long.
Here are some of the vibes that I get when I think of music that these boys would like. It might sound like it, but there are no spoilers here for anything in TBAW, these are just vibes ☠
Music Headcannons - Eren, Jean, Reiner
Jean Kirstein
he's pretentious about his music for sure. typically listens to soft, slow alt/indie songs (but like mainstream indie, if that makes sense lol). he might like some of the top hits rn but he'll never admit it. always has to have the aux because he thinks other people have trash taste in music
arctic monkey, the neighbourhood type vibes
songs about falling in love, bittersweet love, unrequited love, heartbreak
right person, wrong time type of love. if things were different they would be perfect but they're not and it hurts knowing things are going to end
pushing people away because it hurts too much to hold them close
meeting the perfect person while out one night but forgetting to get their name and never seeing them again
playing board games with friends on a weekday night
sitting next to the fire on a cool summer night by the lake and sharing your deepest fears and insecurities
cooking dinner together with a glass of wine and kissing on the countertop
making love on a lazy afternoon and whispering i love you into each other's skin
Eren Jaeger
really similar taste in music to jean but a lot more upbeat, produced, and sexual. he listens to big bootie mixes when he's working out and he has random generic playlists when he's hanging out w girls but when he's on his own or w friends he has a specific vibe
the weekend, tame impala type vibes:
songs about sex, passion, one-night stands, and firey type love
a summer fling that you know would never work out long-term but you think about for the rest of your life
bad boy/i can fix him type love. everyone warns you about him but you just can't stay away
sneaking out to go see him in the middle of the night and coming home just as the sun starts to rise
long drives late at night talking about everything and nothing with his hand on your thigh
showering together and then getting ready in the bathroom for a party or some big event, catching each other's eyes in the reflection of the mirror
going to the beach on a hot summer day, making out and wandering hands, needing to remind yourselves that there are people around before you get carried away
burning hot love that you know is going to shatter your heart but you're having too much fun to care
intense, passionate sex. just needing to feel each other in blind desperation, losing yourselves in the whirlwind of pleasure
Reiner Braun
definitely made a playlist when he was in highschool of all of his favourite songs and hasn't listened to anything else since but somehow still doesn't know who sings what song
red hot chili peppers, simple plan type vibes
songs from when you were kids that make you feel nostalgic for the past, songs that you don't know the name of but you can somehow sing every word, upbeat songs that somehow make you feel sad
reminiscing and romanticizing the past just because things in the present are overwhelming. wishing you could recapture the innocence and obliviousness of youth
hanging out with old friends and talking about people you once knew
long road trips with the windows down, music blasting, and singing along to every song
being woken up at the crack of dawn by someone with way too much energy for this time of day but somehow still feeling excited
being with friends outside and playing lawn games like bocce or cornhole
(crying with your head down late at night at the office, feeling like you're an imposter and you don't deserve the job you have.
still feeling like a kid even though you're legally an adult. never knowing what you're doing but feeling like you're expected to have your life together.)
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orkbutch · 7 months
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A Gender Feelings Dump bc i have my semi-public diary back now :)
I came back to tumblr because I got immediately obsessed with BG3 and knew I wanted to do it Proper Fandom Like. Possibly because its been a surprisingly nostalgic experience and the last time I was into something like this, I was on tumblr doing fandom (DA, fallout, ect.) so maybe its all regression, idk. But it has resulted in me drawing and writing the most I ever have in 6 years, since I left my bachelor of illustration and decided I couldn't do art as a career and I needed Real Work (tm) to live and meet my goals.
That has changed. I've realised I have been fighting my nature; I've wanted to be an artist since I was a child, and I was Always solely fixed on that goal. And one thing 6 years of drawing and creating a lot less did was... cut me off from a gender experience I have! Which I lowkey forgot about, and am now rediscovering? And its an odd (but also not odd at all) one that I gotta ramble about.
My name is Emmanuel Josephine [Redacted], and I picked Josephine because its my favourite name and because I was aware that sometimes, I simply am not... in Emmanuel headspace. Emmanuel is a Tom of Finland rough-housing cowboy priest. Which are often my vibes. But lately I have been a lot more Josephine, whose vibes are more ... 15th Century nun troubadour secretly in love with their fellow nun. Am I making sense? These are just vibes. Gender word association.
Anyway, I've realise these track to whether I'm more preoccupied, at that period of my life, with the outside world or my internal world. I phrase it that way because I don't want to imply that Emmanuel is just "Face", a social performance; I can be and am Josephine with other people. These aren't personality changes (Important to specify that because I have DDNOS lol), but maybe... the temporary moving of my perspective and perceptions.
I think when I'm feeling very creative and making a lot of things, I become very introspective; for me, art is always a conversation with myself. My Perspective and Perception inevitably shifts to be more internal. That makes me less responsive to social contexts, which is obviously a massive part of gender identity. And I just become a lot Less Gendered... I think?
Perhaps thats why Josephine is best described to me as a cloistered nun. I become less dysphoric about my body (because I think about it less) and I become fairly disinterested in having sex (though I am still just as interested in sexuality as a subject). I experience this broad, internal landscape that feels so intricate and distinct from the external world that it feels almost divine, or I guess metaphysical, even though I don't believe in anything spiritual. That is the shift in perspective; the internal world becoming the focus over the external.
Which, like... is this dissociation? I genuinely don't know. I have a dissociation disorder, so it would make sense. The separation from my dysphoria and libido, and the turn inwards, thats pretty dissociative stuff. I don't know. I feel pretty present. Its just weird.
I can't tell if this is an alternative experience that is gendered, what you may call A Gender Experirnce, or a dissociative episode (are the two really that different?), or more specifically, a regressive episode. Idk. Brains are wild.
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dejavante · 9 months
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heartworm | myg
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synopsis: "Life always presented unexpected twists and turns; that much was always pretty much guaranteed and inevitable. But you never expected to fall in love with the man held captive in the old snow globe you found in your grandmother’s attic following her passing. If only you’d known your time together was limited, you probably would’ve spent less time throwing snarky and sarcastic remarks his way and would’ve instead confessed the feelings of your heart. It’s been weeks since his disappearance now, and you still can’t adjust to the void he’s left in your life. And no amount of wishing and praying over that snow globe will bring him back…"
↳ pairing: yoongi x reader
↳ genre: modern fantasy type AU! | fluff | a dash of angst but nothing that will have you balling your eyes out, lol
↳ word count: 2.1k
author's note: this is just a little drabble that I've been sitting on for a while now. I've been pretty uninspired lately and haven't been able to finish any of my longer pieces, so I thought maybe I should start off small. I say small, but this drabble is 2.1k words long... anyways, enjoy!
masterlist | asks
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You'd hated this place from the moment your grandmother had bought it. There was something about the heavy musk of mould, and the nauseating rose air freshener that your nana would use to camouflage the stench that had you wrinkling your nose in distaste. Or perhaps what repelled you the most was the tedious hike up the cliff that left your legs aching for days to come and the old rickety front door that banged against the frame during its battle with the wind.
While it's true that you'd never done much to hide your dislike of your grandmother's home before, you'd found that there was an unusual calmness to the raging sea – something in its temperamental rocking and in its ruthless habit of violently crashing against the ridged boulders of the coast that painted an odd likeness of tranquillity.
You sit back in your seat with an airy sigh, fingers twisting into the worn material of the blue sweater you don as a means to preserve heat – though this wouldn't be much of a problem if only you could find the strength to tear away from the turbulent scenery to grab the comforter off your bed.
But alas, you can't seem to let your focus stray from the smudged window, not for the growing numbness in your fingers and certainly not for the fatigue that weighs down on you.
For every moment over the last few weeks that you couldn't express your agitations, the storm raging outside granted you a moment of much-needed relief. It helped in soothing the burning flame within, taming your sullen mood.
Your eyes flicker over to the crooked shelf above your bed, sifting through the trinkets you didn't have the heart to throw away before finding what you're looking for. The glass dome of the snow globe has long since lost its shine. Now, it no longer glistens under the dim lighting of the room with the thick blanket of dust that clings to its surface.
At some point, looking at it had become too hard. Remembering the gummy smile that would smile at you from over the glass dome or the baritone voice that droned on about the snowy scenery within, stopped giving you solace and became more like a nightmare. As a result, those nostalgic and intimate moments attached to the snow globe became more fragile than the thin sheen of glass that encircled the world within.
Perhaps that's why you chose to place it on that particular shelf. Because during another day of self-prescribed bed rest, you knew that you couldn't catch sight of that empty snow globe – remembering hurt too much. Although you'd wager that forgetting would amount to equal amounts of pain.
It's a loud clap of thunder that draws you from your long reverie, shooing away the clouds of gloomy thoughts and replacing them with a deep-seated feeling of longing. And oddly, it's in that flicker of emotion that you tried so hard to repress that you finally find the motivation to do more than just mope — to finally confront the reality that you'd been running away from for weeks now. So, with a sigh that is sodden with reluctance and dejection, you urge yourself to move, gaze remaining keenly focused on the object of your affections as you swing your legs off of the window seat and push yourself up.
The aged floorboards creak beneath your weight as you pad sluggishly across the room, singing atrociously off-key until you reach the foot of your bed and crawl on top of the unmade mess of sheets.
You barely manage to untangle yourself from the bedding as you tentatively reach out for the snow globe, allowing your fingers a moment to dance over the dome of glass. The signs of neglect disappear under your touch, and you hoped, a foolish tendency you knew, that as the strings of dust melted away to reveal a clearer view of the snowy scenery within, there would be a change of fate.
But your hope for his return had proved to be futile. Because, yet again, that lone piano sits in the snowy square awaiting a master that will never return to it. Likewise, you wait for a love that slipped through your fingers too early.
Yoongi was far from a perfect man — that much he'd expressed and admitted to you himself on multiple occasions. It was hard to get along with him initially, not with how frantic and frustrated he was with finding an escape from his curse now that he was free from his snow globe prison. And somewhere within his state of near insanity, it wasn't difficult to see that he was simply afraid of being forced to endure that solidarity all over again with no second chance at freedom.
"I'm not scared," He'd bite back, his tone bordering that of a petulant child about to have a tantrum. "You try being holed up in there for so long,"
Though oddly enough, Yoongi would wax poetics about the internal structure of the globe despite his hatred for being trapped within it. With high, frosty skies, bright strung lights, and a mellow atmosphere fabricated for the sole purpose of carrying the soft melody of his piano, he'd said that it bordered perfection.
"It's the sort of place that you share with someone," Yoongi had once explained softly. "It's not built for solidarity,"
The day he disappeared still resonates clearly in your mind as if it'd only occurred yesterday. It plagued your sleep and daydreams, relentlessly taunting you for the words you never dared confess out of fear. Not until it was too late, at least.
You weren't sure why you kept doing this to yourself. It was a system of torture to continue clinging to the idea that perhaps if you fed the snow globe enough of your tears, prayers, and affections, some sort of miracle would happen. Because each and every time, you were left disappointed and with another crack that the fragile mess of your heart was forced to bear during its futile battle against hope. Heaven knows you couldn't handle another battle, not with how close you were to shattering.
The sheets rustle underneath your movement as you shift to sit back on your haunches with the globe cupped securely within the warmth of your palms. For a moment, you're unsure of what to do, the unfamiliarity of the situation finally dawning upon you as you stare intently at the object of your affections.
You'd tried everything to avoid this moment, but you were always pulled back towards it by an invisible force that tempted the longing within you that was no longer satisfied by memories of him.
The glass glistens dully in the room's light as you twist the snow globe in your hold, surveying the snowy territory in all its different angles to perhaps find an abnormality that would lighten the bulb of hope. However, all you find in return is a distorted reflection of yourself in the glass that stares back at you, highlighting your swollen eyes and the hollowness of your cheeks.
You can already hear Yoongi's playful remark about your dishevelled appearance, and the thought garners a soft smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes.
Though it's only a matter of seconds before the moment of bittersweet reminiscing gives away under the pressure of loneliness that quickly settles into your bones. The shift is gradual, languid and done with little effort. You begin to deflate, your shoulders sinking and globing around your frame protectively as you cradle the globe close to your chest.
"I really miss you," You whisper, voice watery and thick with the heaviness of unsorted emotions. "I didn't even get to tell you how much I love you.."
Being hung over someone for such a long time feels almost childish. And though you knew that the complexities of emotions were too far intricate to be dealt with within a matter of weeks, you still felt rather pathetic for torturing yourself this much. Especially with the uncertainty of how Yoongi felt towards you. Though you'd wager that your situation garnered an exception because in no way were your circumstances to be classified as normal.
A dry, humourless laugh bubbles past your lips as you press a palm to your eyes, wiping away the budding tears that blur your vision before the disorienting fog of self-pity can settle any deeper in your mind. You clear your throat and give your head a small shake to refocus yourself as you draw the globe away from your chest, steadying it in one hand as you reach out for the lever in the back with the other.
Under the delicate manoeuvre of your fingers, the cylinder begins to spin, plucking at the teeth of the comb to create a melody that encases each of your senses and casts a wave of nostalgia over you. The music is orchestrated in a subdued register, mellow and silky in its composition as if it were a lullaby. And if there was anything that reminded you of Yoongi the most, it would be this particular song with the way that it flowed effortlessly, engulfing the room in a soft and timid yet harmonious and enigmatic resonance that burst with passion.
You reach for the lever again as soon as the soft, fading echo of the concluding chords finally dies down and allows for a brief moment of comfortable silence. However, before your wrist can complete the first full turn of the mechanical arm again, your ears are flooded with the distant performance of the very same melody that had just faded into the tranquillity of the room.
For a beat, you remain motionless, heart pounding in your chest and mind unable to string together a coherent thought. You were damn near certain that this was nothing but a fabrication of your imagination, taunting you relentlessly for the regret you held and guiding you to the brink of insanity.
As if in a trance, your feet find the floor. Your grip on the snow globe loosens as you stumble towards the door, slipping from your grasp and shattering against the floor. The sound of the breakage bleeds into the background, becoming a second priority to the music you follow out of your room and down the corridor, like a sailor enchanted by a siren's song.
There's a moment as you reach the end of the hall when you flicker back to reality, pausing a mere few centimetres away from the spare room to contemplate the rationality of the situation. It hadn't escaped you that this entire set-up felt almost too good to be true — because in all the weeks of your misery and longing, why now?
But there was no mistaking that melody, not with the level of familiarity that you had with it. Its intricacy, like its composer, was both special and specific. You didn't need to see who the musician at your grandmother's old piano was to know in your heart who it was.
And yet, you find yourself hesitating to step forward and confirm your suspicion. Instead, you stare blankly at the door, heart thundering against your ribcage as you resist the urge to step forward and push the door open. Because even with how much time you'd spent practising and planning the words that you'd say to him if you were ever given a chance to meet again, you were certain that you wouldn't manage to utter a single word.
You don't notice when the music finally fades into the combined quietness of the house, nor do you hear the soft click of the door's mechanism turn as your hearing drowns in the dull and piercing ring that consumes your sense and renders you unbound to your surrounding.
The call of your name seems distant, its hand reaching out into the void of the ocean, where it becomes lost between the flickering of your muted sense as if it were a dream. And you would've gladly accepted it as that if it weren't for the palm that presses to your cheek to coax you back to reality.
You don't expect to be hit at full force by a surge of emotions when you step out of your reverie to meet the eyes of the one calling for you. And while his touch is wholeheartedly welcome, your emotional collapse isn't.
Yoongi offers a gentle smile of reassurance, his hand rising to wipe the trail of tears that slip down your cheeks before your face is cupped within his palms. You make no attempt to stop him as he inclines his forehead against yours, instead welcoming the close proximity he offers by leaning further into the warmth of his touch as he murmurs something indistinguishable to your clouded mind before his lips find yours.
"I love you too,"
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Fuck It I'm Putting All The Tag Games Together and You Can't Stop Me
Last Song: next semester by 21p
Favorite Color: love a good plum or maroon color which is unfortunate because those colors almost always clash with my neon hair so I rarely wear them but if I could surround myself with maroon I absolutely would
Currently Watching: bold of you to assume I have the attention span for watching anything these days. the last thing I watched on youtube was the last episode of the Trixie and Katya podcast
Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Savoryyyyyy
Relationship Status: a relationship? in this economy???
Current Obsession: idk if I have any outside of my Regular Hyperfixations! I mean, I've been listening to that new twenty one pilots song on repeat every day during my commute to work, so maybe that LOL. it's a 4 minute song and my commute is 50 minutes so doing the math, I've probably listened to this song...over 200 times over the last few weeks asdalkjsdfhljsdhfc like is it a good song? NO! Is it just nostalgic enough that it reminds me of early twenty one pilots music and for 4 minutes I get to experience the bittersweet nostalgia of what my life was like when their music was the only thing that made me feel less alone? YEP.
Last Google Search: "pleasure synonym" listen........i do not claim to be a good writer.....vampire smut is fucking hard
Last line of my WIP: And maybe some part of him knows that this, too, is part of the game. This waiting. This anticipation. They always like to make him wait for it, both Armand and Louis, as if the seconds in between the suffering and the bliss will somehow purify the longing, cauterize him into a lover worthy of that divine release. He never can tell if it works. It all feels the same to him; the minutes, the seconds, the hours leading to his release.
Tagged by: my beloved @hekateinhell <3 Tagging: as per fucking usual I'm so late to the game it feels pointless to even participate but listen i'm trying my darndest and that's what matters. idk. @madeofklay @wicked-felina @headfrst4halos???
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thesalemwitchtries · 5 months
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Okay so I've been lurking a lot instead of reblogging as I try to do, and this is because when I'm in the library doing work and get distracted by a good fic, it feels less like being off task if I'm just reading and not interacting, like reading is taking a study break, good for the brain, but interacting is being On Your Phone, and is off task.
Now the semester is done however, and I am free to do as I wish guilt free. One of the major things that I need to catch up on is a new fandom rabbit-hole that I fell into, which began with me accidentally stumbling on a fic while late-night scrolling, reading it, and then proceeding to completely devour almost the entire catalogue of works of several writers. I'll get around to re-reading and commenting on what I've spent the past like two weeks being absolutely lost in, but first I wanted to give a quick shout-out to the accounts because I know that sailor-aviator is having a milestone positivity event, and also they all just deserve it.
I think it started with @roosterforme and Bradley Bradshaw, and then devolved into reading almost everything that @jupitercomet, @sailor-aviator, and @goldenseresinretriever have ever published. This next part is long-winded gushing and also I think maybe turned into a marriage proposal? I'm not sure, hopefully its not creepy/weird
Seriously amazing work, like I can't truly express the amount of resistance I had to tgm before finding these accounts, but I had avoided watching the movie for the longest time bc my super shitty ex was a pilot (Air Force, and in training, but still we did tour the ship in SD when we were together) and also because he seriously looks like if you bought a hybrid of Lewis Pullman and Glen Powell from Dollar Tree and then made him scrawny, incredibly boring, and also unable to understand the word no or that it's not a crime to do a little shimmy when a good song comes on the grocery store radio
Now I feel cured of that in a way, like I don't know him, who was that? All I know are the incredible and delicious men that these guys are writing about.
You guys are out here soothing traumas unknowingly all while writing kicking-my-legs-blushing-and-giggling quality romances, like, can't thank you enough for the work and effort and time that has clearly gone into all that you guys are doing (for free!) and I hope that you all are proud of what you've been creating.
Like yeah, fanfic is just silly little stories, but these are your silly little stories that wouldn't exist without your hardwork and brains, and also they're incredible silly little stories. 🫶
Specifically I've been obsessed with sailor's Tarzan Bradley (he's so in love and also horny I love it, 🫠 ugh can't get enough), and her Bob series is so cute and seasonal I love him sm! 🥰🥰
And I didn't want to get sucked in, but sailor's merman Jake series converted me to becoming a part-time Jake girlie, of course with the help of golden's hockey au with Bugs and Lola, they're so cute and I'm living for Honey and Bradley you don't even know. I used to go to hockey games with my grandpa all the time (go Fireants lmao) so its nostalgic, but also bc of that old-guy association I don't think I ever really considered the horny potential of hockey, so thanks so much for opening my eyes to new growth opportunities for male objectification 😭
Anyways I hope this isn't like, too weird or makes you uncomfortable, I just wanted to take the chance to get out some of this built-up appreciation and share some positive thoughts ig, thanks for all your work and creativity, and also for bringing me a new fandom to hyperfixate on, its like a christmas gift, lol
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reyissleepy · 4 months
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I've been drawing tubbo a lot lately, and it has made me really nostalgic hehe
Soon, it's going to be 3 years since I started watching tubbo, and with that also 3 years since I started drawing him! So today, I present to you one of my first fanarts of tubbo from 2021 and one of my latest from this year! I feel like my art has grown with him over the years and that makes me really happy!
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Would love to hear what you guys think lols :3
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