#If anyone wants to write for this I was thinking she was kinda like Achilles

[lilmsmurderr]

Greek AU Bela.

#If anyone wants to write for this I was thinking she was kinda like Achilles #or the daughter of Ares #anyway I enjoyed drawing this #could of done better for coloring but I’m too tired #art #my art #bela dimitrescu

[ellecdc]

Hi gorggg can i request an angst wolfstar fic where reader is kind of insecure of her placement within their relationship? like they’re both so close already and she’s a new addition so she kinda just feels out of place.

thank you for your amazing writing!! doing the world a favor❤️❤️❤️

Hey babes! Thanks SO much for the request 'cause truly, this is my shit. Now, I have to admit that I'm obsessed with these fics that have the same vibe by moonstruckme (poly!marauders) and super-clearlysaltybouquet (poly!wolfstar), so really, they're the blueprints/inspiration for this piece

also...I'm a whore for hurt/comfort. But you asked for ANGST...so I've given you only angst and no comfort. If you want comfort, you'll have to ask for a part two 💖 hope you love it!!! UPDATE: part two is here.

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader

CW: insecurities in relationship, feeling out of place, angst, hurt no comfort

It felt silly, really, to feel as sad as you did. You were currently sitting with two boys who you’ve been basically in love with for so long - two boys who have proclaimed to feel the same way about you - and on the outside you were sure this looked like a really lovely moment.

It just didn’t feel very lovely. 

You didn’t think your discontentedness stemmed from anything the boys had done in particular, but even seeing the way they instinctively leaned closer to one another when anyone else approached the three of you left you feeling like an outsider looking in.

Maybe you were overthinking things. Maybe this was just your insecurities showing.

Or maybe…maybe…the three of you had made a mistake.

Maybe you weren’t cut out for polyamory; it certainly wasn’t for the weak, and it certainly wasn’t easy being the newest addition to the relationship. 

You felt lost in most conversations, missing key information that inside jokes, years of friendship, and living together in the same tower - the same dorm room – led to. It felt as though they were fluent in a language you were only starting to pick up, and you didn’t want them to have to slow down for your sake. You didn’t want one of them to have to play the role of translator just for your benefit. 

But then, why were you here?

You weren’t calm, relaxed, and witty like Remus. And you weren’t funny, exciting, and energetic like Sirius. They seemed to already balance each other out perfectly; maybe that’s why it felt so easy to fall into the role of a background character in your own relationship.

There was a brief ‘honeymoon’ period to your relationship; a time of public proclamations, handholding and PDA, dates, and spending every moment the three of you could together.

It was exciting.

And then it was less exciting – not to you, never to you - but it seemed to be that way for them.

Suddenly, it was dates and then them returning to their dorm – back home – without you. It was silent conversations with nothing but a look between the two of them that didn’t include you in the slightest. It was professors announcing partner projects, and them pairing together immediately which was fine, you told yourself, because you always partnered with Shelby anyway and that’s the way it had always been before.

Before. 

This is the way it had always been before. 

So, what were you doing here, exactly? What were you doing sitting on a blanket near the Black Lake with a book in your hand, while Sirius’ hand gripped around your ankle gently as Remus played with Sirius’ hair from where his head was laying in his lap, whilst Sirius and Remus talked about pranks, something funny that James said, and setting Peter up with some Hufflepuff girl? 

You could tell you were being insecure… that you were overthinking this. You could tell you were being unreasonable because every so often, Sirius’ hand wouldn’t just be resting around your ankle, but he would squeeze it gently or rub his thumb across your Achilles tendon as if to convince himself that you were still here; still real. And every so often, Remus would move his gaze from where it laid on his own book or away from Sirius whom he was speaking with to look at you… check on you… confirm you were still there; still okay. 

They cared. They had to, right? Cared that you were here? They wouldn’t have asked you otherwise, surely. They wouldn’t be making the effort to keep a hand on you, or their eyes on you. Surely, they would never have decided to open their relationship to include you in it.

But there it was…the truth.

It was their relationship. And they’d opened it up for you.

It should be the second part of that sentence that spoke to you the most, but in your mind and insecurities, the second seemed like the whole truth. 

This was their relationship.

You shouldn’t be here.

“You still with us, dove?” Remus asked gently, distracting you from your musings. You suddenly realized that your book you were holding had fallen limply into your lap and you were staring unseeingly at the Black Lake. The boys had apparently paused their conversation to look at you, and Sirius’ thumb continued its tender caressing of the soft of your joint.

“Yeah.” You said, but it came out scratchy. You cleared your throat and tried again. “Yeah, sorry, I must have zoned out for a second.”

Sirius wiggled your ankle. “Daydreaming again, huh? About us I bet.” He teased with a wink. 

You wiggled your ankle back at him as he leaned his head up from Remus’ lap, lips puckered in an ask (a demand) for a kiss.

This may be fleeting, so who were you to deny him?

You leaned forward on one hand, the other still holding your book, and pressed a kiss to the black-haired boy’s lips. He smiled into it and let you go all too willingly as you leaned back and tried to focus on your book. 

The air around you began to feel heavy before the sound of distant thunder permeated your hearing.

“Damn, I guess Scottish weather isn’t very reliable, hm?” Remus said as he began packing up his things.

“It’s too bad.” Sirius murmured as he began to stand. “I was having a nice time out here with you two.”

You smiled back at him as he extended a hand to help you up.

“We’re still on for a study date tomorrow after dinner, right?” He asked you when you were at your full height.

“Yeah, sure. If you guys will have me.” You responded shyly, hating that you even hinted at any of your insecurities.

Sirius scoffed in response, but it was Remus who answered. “’Course we do, dove. We’re looking forward to it.”

You felt like you should be a little embarrassed at the way your heart fluttered hopefully at the sentiment, but you focused instead on Sirius’ smile and Remus’ soft eyes as the three of you made your way back to the castle. 

You hadn’t seen the boys at all today. You unfortunately slept through your alarm, making you miss breakfast completely; generally, you’d sit with Sirius, Remus, and their friends at the Gryffindor table. The two of them were no shows for lunch, so you opted to sit with Shelby instead. And it was Friday, and on Friday’s you didn’t share any classes with them, meaning by the time you made it to dinner, you’d not seen or heard from them at all.

“Hey James.” You commented as you headed towards James, Lily, and Regulus sitting at the Slytherin table. “Have you seen Rem or Sirius at all today?” Of course, you knew that he had, he lived with them.

James seemed to grimace slightly, but the expression was fleeting before he was smiling at you again. 

He knew something you didn’t.

“The last I heard they were talking about your study date tonight.” He offered. You could tell he was putting on an extra show of enthusiasm for your benefit. You tried to be grateful for it, but it left a sour taste in your mouth, nonetheless.

“Okay, thank you.” You said as you turned to head to find a seat with Shelby. 

“Oh, Y/N.” Lily called after you. “You’re welcome to sit with us, if you’d like?”

You grinned gratefully at Lily as she smiled kindly at you, even though your heart clenched on account of the clearly pitying offer. Was it as obvious to everyone else as it was to you that you were so out of place with Remus and Sirius? Could they all see it too?

“That’s alright. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” You called as you walked away.

The boys weren’t avoiding you, were they? Surely, they would have said something to you if there was a problem.

Although, perhaps they wouldn’t, seeing as you had clearly been spiraling for some time now and have yet to discuss it with them.

Would they even meet you in the library later? Certainly, they would have said if something came up…if you needed to reschedule.

No. 

You were obviously being silly. You hadn’t seen them all day, but they hadn’t seen you either – it was just a coincidence. You were fine.

Except you weren’t fine. Because it was about seven minutes after the time you had agreed to meet them before the boys joined you in the library. Remus offered you a hasty “sorry we’re late, dove” and a squeeze of your shoulder before taking a place at the table across from you, and Sirius pecked a quick kiss into your hair and sat beside you without saying a word.

It was painfully awkward. You’d asked them how their days were – Remus answered for the both of them before he asked you how yours was in turn.

After two more (failed) attempts on your part to make conversation, the rest of the study session was spent in silence. And not a comfortable silence.

It was the kind of silence that had you checking your surroundings every so often. The kind of silence that made you feel as if bugs were crawling over your skin.

Every time you looked across at Remus, he seemed to be shooting concerned glances over at Sirius. Every time you looked in your periphery at Sirius, you could see he was zoned out, eyes rimmed and red like he’d been crying or angrily rubbing at them. 

If something was wrong, they would have told you – right?

If they were regretting being with you, they wouldn’t have shown - right? 

If they were going to break up with you, they wouldn’t do it in the library of all places.

Right?

Your musings were interrupted when Sirius let out a sharp breath and closed his book unceremoniously. 

“Sorry guys, I’m not feeling the best. I think I’m going to pack it up.”

Remus immediately perked up, looking like he was ready to pack up too. “Okay, do you want company?”

Do you want me to come with you?

“No, that’s alright. Don’t let me impede your studying. I’ll catch up with you later, ‘kay?”

I’ll talk to you more in our dorm room when we’re alone, Remus.

“Sorry, sweets. I’ll make it up to you.” He said as he hugged you from behind and kissed your neck. 

“Okay, I hope you feel better.” You offered as you awkwardly pat his arms. He gave you a half-hearted smile before quickly exiting the library.

Once his figure disappeared from your vision, you turned back to see Remus still looking towards the way Sirius just left; he was still poised as if he was ready to pack up and go after him.

You suddenly felt guilty…because if you weren’t here, he would be going… He’d be going after his boyfriend and comforting him through…whatever he’s going through.

So now, here you were keeping Remus from where he really wanted to be, and Sirius from having the support that he needs…that he deserves.

My gods, you’ve made such a terrible mistake. How did the three of you not notice?

“Sorry about that, love.” Remus mentioned quietly, offering you a half smile. “He…he got a letter from his family today. He doesn’t really talk about it with people.”

He talked about it with you, though.

“It usually takes him a day or two to sort it out before he comes back to us.”

You mean back to you, James, and Peter…

“I’ll talk to him.”

When you leave me…to go to him.

You hated even feeling petulant about it. One of the things you loved about these boys was how much they loved each other. The trust, the affection, the care…you had just hoped that somehow, you’d get to enjoy those things too.

You offered him the best smile you could muster as you turned back towards your book. You could no longer make the words out as your vision blurred, tears threatening to spill out over the arithmancy calculations spread below you. 

You couldn’t keep doing this. Not to Remus, not to Sirius…and certainly not to yourself. You deserved better, all three of you did. 

You were being selfish, inserting yourself into their relationship like this; demanding things from them that they didn’t owe you.

“You know what,” you offered quietly, clearing your throat as your voice came out scratchy, grating along the lump lodged in your throat. “I think I’ve gotten enough studying done for tonight.”

You stood and started piling your things together. 

“Oh…are, are you sure?” Remus asked like he was willing to argue, but he too was standing and starting to pack his bag – eager to get to his dorm and check on Sirius. 

“Yeah, I did some work on it at dinner as well.”

Remus grimaced slightly at that.

“I’m sorry dove, really. The three of us clearly haven’t had a great day. I’ll talk to Sirius, and I promise we’ll all be back in sync in no time.”

You looked into his eyes and saw sincerity.

Back in sync.

Were we ever in sync to begin with?

“Can I walk you to your dorm?” He asked as he made to move around the table, but he paused at you quickly shaking your head.

“No, no I’m alright. I can find my way.” You tried to joke, but it fell flat.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. No, don’t worry about it just – uhm – just make sure he’s okay for me, yeah?” You asked as you walked backwards to the door. Remus must’ve picked up something in your tone, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked you up and down.

“I really am sorry, Y/N. We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

You quickly wiped away a stray tear that found its way out of your water line and gave him the biggest smile you could muster.

This was better, you thought, let everyone out of their misery.

“’Course. I’ll, uhm, I’ll see you around, Lupin.”

And you left. 

#ask elle #marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #sirius black #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x you #wolfstar #poly!wolfstar x you #poly!wolfstar #poly!wolfstar x reader #poly wolfstar #angst #ellecdc fics

[smallraindrops-blog]

Does Thy Starry Crown follow the chronological events of TSOA? Because I have a few questions if it does.

It's mentioned that Y/N dies before turning 30, so l'm gonna assume 28-ish. This means Reader would also be 27-28. I'm also assuming that Y/N dies his canonical death like in WMFTD where he gets killed by Ares.

The flashforward part in Part 2 (I think) of TSC is several years after the war- so l'm assuming like 2-3.

If Reader was 14 when he first started training under Patroclus and trained under him before the war for atleast a year; was Achilles brought to Scyros before the war like in TSOA, or what this in the past before Reader came along (or did it not happen at all)?

Sorry if this is a weird question 😭 I was re-reading TSC and thought of it LMFAOOO

No no not a weird question at all! Since my reply is kinda long, I putting it under a readmore.

TSC does loosely follows the chronological events of TSOA, the war starting and ending along with Achilles’ and Patroclus’ deaths are all fixed points I use for TSC.

I consider TSC to be its’ own universe for the ease of the writing and keep the details loosely organized since it wasn’t even a thought until I got that request, and I think I never planned on writing a second part let alone all the others that followed.

TSC does not follow WMFTD canonically. At least the way I write it, totally fine if you or someone else want it to.

This is how I write with TSC in mind:

In this universe, Achilles was married after Chiron’s training since the war that his mother was warned about won’t happen until Achilles is in his middle age. So Spyros never happened, but I like to think he still married the same woman.

During this marriage, he sired Pyrrhus but due to choosing Patroclus over his wife, Achilles’s mother took his son to raise as her own since she ever got to raise Achilles.

A few years later, they will find and adopt Y/N. Then Reader will be taken under Patroclus’ wing later on. Then come along the war and so on.

Close to the end of the war, Reader and Y/N both go on the run, fleeing with the ashes to give back to Chiron. Afterwards, they end up traveling, helping people while trying to stay out of Pyrrhus’ grasp.

So yeah, about two or three years for part two, I’m not locked into a timeline since again I wasn’t sure how much I would end up for writing.

Eventually they settled somewhere far away one of the mountain villages under different names. Y/N found work as a laborer and eventually as woodworker as well.

He helped keep raiders away from the villages, occasionally training the young men ( and women in secret since many disapproved women knowing how to fight at all).

Reader will be both a healer and teacher the children, giving them an education they otherwise would had never gotten. He even earned the honor of being of the few men in Greece who help out in childbirth (men were banned from helping under law I think).

While they were are an odd pair to the eyes of the town-folks, they earned their place among the ppl. Turns out, knowing someone who know medicine and another who can kick almost anyone’s ass is very useful.

I like to think they will live a happy, long life together, tending to a garden and home, taking in orphans when no one could.

Sorry for the long post and I hope this answers everything. Thanks for the opportunity to ramble. :)

[zahrajackson]

mini-playlist task!

ft. @rorycollins , @alicealder , @caseyfm .

zahra & rory: achilles heel.

little talks - of monsters and men. ( there's an old voice in my head / that's holding me back / well, tell her that i miss our little talks. )

Sometimes you listen to a song you’ve listened to a lot and suddenly go “huh. this reminds me of the jackson girl’s nightmare patrol”. There’s just a tenderness to this song that I think mirrors the tenderness Zahra approaches Rory with in the middle of the night. We are respectfully ignoring the bridge in the hopes it never applies to them tho, thanks.

sister - k. flay. ( if you ever go and get your heart broke / i would take a red eye plane / ride or die forever / i got you (i got you). )

Okay, they’re not technically sisters, but aren’t they though? Rory is Zahra’s ride or die. There’s a lot she’d do just because Rory asked. And, yeah, she does want to call Rory her sister. Half the time I accidentally write that instead of cousin. This song really just encapsulates all that.

some things are meant to be - from little women, the musical. ( let's be wild up high above the sand / feel the wind, the world at our command / let's enjoy the view and never land. )

This one is a little fucking depressing okay, I’ll admit it. Like, (spoilers for Little Women ig) this is the song Beth sings on the beach right before she dies.  It’s just my ‘siblings who are really close’ song. But beyond that, there’s something about it - the beach imagery, the certainty of love, the little “beth is mine!” at the start. It captures the feeling that Rory was meant to be in Zahra’s life, and that won’t ever change. Rory is hers - Rory is a part of her. Anyway, if Rory ever dies I’m suing.

run - taylor swift, ed sheeran. ( give me the keys, i'll bring the car back around / we shouldn't be in this town. )

I’ll admit, I’m not totally happy with this one. But! I needed a ‘holy shit we gotta get out of Cherry’ song. Zahra’s been wanting to get Rory out of town since day one! Because Cherry might actually get them killed, and also who wants to be trapped in their small town forever?

girls just wanna have fun - cyndi lauper. ( i wanna be the one to walk in the sun / oh girls, they wanna have fun. )

I just wanted them to have a real fun one. A ‘dance around the room, singing along loud enough to annoy Rocky’ kinda song. They’re the dream team, baby! They gotta have fun with it!

zahra & alice: bitter dregs of childhood.

slumber -  sløtface. ( even as a child i know / that i’ll never have friends like these again. )

It’s about childhood! It’s about looking at your best friend(s) and knowing this is something special. I don’t know, it just makes me think of all the sleepovers Zahra and Alice have had, and all the moments of simple childhood friendship that have long passed. Things were so good once. Things were so easy once.

motion sickness - phoebe bridgers. ( i hate you for what you did / and i miss you like a little kid. )

I’ll be honest, that first line really is a big reason for this songs presence. It’s a great encapsulation of how Zahra feels - hatred, and a yearning for her friend back. It makes her feel childish and angry. And now especially emotional motion sickness feels accurate. She went from hostility to concern to whatever the hell they’re doing now over the past year. If anyone can send Zahra on an emotional rollercoaster, it’s Alice. (And Lux).

shade of yellow - griff. ( oh, 'cause there's a light in your room / and the lamp is a shade of yellow / and it makes me feel safe and sound / and I swear that's rare these days. )

This is the real early days - the Zahra’s parents are arguing and her mum’s about to leave days. The days she’d go over to Alice and Lux’s houses rather than be at home. And, even after she got through that, the specific comfort that came from being in her best friend’s room. Alice made her feel safe - and maybe she still does. And part of her always wants to run back to Alice, despite all the bad blood between them.

allies or enemies - the crane wives. ( what happens now? / do we have another go? / do we bow out and take our separate roads? / i'll admit i've had my doubts / but i want to be let in not out. )

I had to have a Crane Wives song somewhere in these playlists, and this really does capture the ??? stage they’re in. Are they friendly? Are they fighting? Are they just gonna stay in this weird liminal space between those options? Things have irrevocably changed between them, and they’ve both hurt each other, but Zahra wants things to be better. If not friends, then allies. Just... something.

good 4 u - olivia rodrigo. ( i've lost my mind, i've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom / but you're so unaffected, i really don't get it / but i guess good for you. )

There’s gotta be a song here that’s just fucking angry. Zahra hates Alice. She also loves her. It’s complicated. Needless to say, feeling angry just feels better than feeling anything complicated. And good 4 u really channels the, like, perceived lack of care? Like, Zahra definitely started off just like,, oh, so Alice just doesn’t give a shit about me? and I’m out here in emotional turmoil? Fuck you too. A girl’s gotta channel her resentment, bitterness, and abandonment issues, y’know? Especially when it seems like someone she cares so much about just cut her out like she was nothing. So yeah. The Angry Song.

zahra & casey: glitch in the heart.

nothing like you and i - the perishers. ( we spent some time together walking / spent some time just talking / about who we were / you held my hand so very tightly / and told me what we could be / dreaming of. )

From the first verse, this song immediately makes me think of their quiet moments - of the talk on the beach, about how they felt and what could be. Zahra has never really had something like what she has with Casey before. For her, ‘nothing like you and I’ is true, and will be no matter what happens. It’s a quieter, subtler, more contemplative kind of song. When she lets it happen, he brings that out in her.

don’t worry, you will - lovelytheband. ( she said, "i can't find a thing i don't like about you" / and i'm like, "don't worry, you will". )

Thinking about Casey insisting he’d fuck things up. Thinking about expecting someone to leave. Thinking about the cynicism woven into their dynamic. And beyond Casey’s insecurities (illegal Ella, wtf), I’m thinking about Zahra, who... insecurity is never the right word for, but is very much aware of the worst parts of herself. They’re her best defence. She uses them to stress test her relationships. And then there’s the role she played in the Audrina-Harvey-Casey shit, and the way (with the Candy Girl arond) it coming out feels like an inevitability. Casey hasn’t found a reason to pull away yet? He will. (bonus content: i did eye the song ‘broken’ by the same band, so. do with that what you will lmao)

nobody - hozier. ( i’d be appalled if you ever tried to be a saint / i wouldn’t fall for someone i thought couldn’t misbehave. // and on the other side, why should we deny the truth? / we could have less to worry about, honey, i won't lie to you / but everything i do, i've had no love like your love. )

It’s about caring for someone both in spite of and because of their rough edges for me babes. Like, neither of these people are goody two shoes. And it also makes me think of Zahra leaving Cherry for the big wide world, and finding herself coming back to Casey whenever she came home. Sure, maybe she’d have a fling or two while away at Harvard, but there was still no one like him. Their whole thing could be easier and simpler, sure. But maybe it’s worth the complication.

his hands - blegh. ( he feels handcrafted just for you / but he's a little bit too far away and / you can’t, you can't / his hands are on you / and you know you’ll be gone by the morning but you know he loves you / and you know you like his strong hands, strong hands. // i kissed every stranger in the corridor that night / i think i was searching for the taste of you in every one. )

This one lives in my head rent free tbh. I think the repetition at the end does a good job on encapsulating the weird mix of denial and self-awareness Zahra had (and probably still has) regarding her feelings for Casey. Like, the way she knew she cared about him and considered him a friend, but also knew she probably could and would fall for him the longer their thing went on. Maybe she already had. Even when she was pretty sure of how he felt, there was still a struggle to come to terms with her own feelings. Also she likes his hands. Sometimes it’s about the hands guys idk what to tell you.

luminous - sløtface. ( you’re a / glitch in my heart / punch to the gut / you’re a luminous. )

I think there’s like,, three concepts in this song for me. First off, let me let y’all in on something about Zahra: sometimes people just click. It happened with Lux and Alice. It happened with Rory. It happened with Audrina. It probably happened Savannah. It doesn’t always happen immediately, and it doesn’t happen with everyone, but it’s like something locks into place and they become Important. And the first time she really talked to Casey, once high school was over and intermediary friends were gone? Something clicked. Or she felt it clicking and tried to ignore it (see: “ i was gone / before i went anywhere with you ”). Then, there’s the element of just, like, wanting to stay up late talking to someone? For all that they started off hooking up, Zahra really does enjoy just talking to Casey. And finally, I think Zahra feels very viscerally when she lets herself (especially watching Casey get stabbed... now that was a punch to the gut fellas) and the chorus really encapsulates that.

dress - taylor swift. ( i’m spilling wine in the bathtub / you kiss my face and we're both drunk / everyone thinks that they know us / but they know nothin' about / all of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation / my hands are shaking from holding back from you. )

Ella you said you couldn’t decide between this or Dancing With Our Hands Tied for yours so I put it on mine. For more than just that, but partly because of that. I think I could make another playlist that’s just, like, Taylor Swift songs that remind me of them in some way. This one just! Captures a lot! The secret relationship, the trying not to reach out, the more than friends in a romantic and sexual way! Idk it’s just a vibe!

bad idea! - girl in red. ( it was a bad idea / calling you up / was such a bad idea / i'm totally fucked. )

The title says it all babes. This whole thing was a bad idea from the start! And yet the mad lads did it anyway! And keep doing it! Sometimes you just gotta hook up with someone pretty ig.

#i reserve the right to change these playlists #bc my indecisive ass will never be satisfied #cusatask #this took FAR too long truly yikes

[1d1195]

A bit controversial, but please give me all the long messages. I am a very 'letter' kind of person, so giving updates or discussions is my absolute favourite thing. Please don't apologize!💕💕

Yes, I can relate to what you feel. I find so much joy in being a best friend. Tell me what you want and I will give it to you, whatever you need whatever is the problem, I am here. It brings me peace and comfort and I can help endlessly. I think this is where the dolcezza!y/n trait comes in when I am the helper I feel like I am worth being loved back but realistically, you can not pour from an empty cup. I understand not feeling that you are not the best friend, you have a competition that you must win and it's a very sucky feeling, but I promise you Sam, you are...I know so many people text you and find comfort in you, I know anons talk to you and come back to conversations, it's so amazing to be the kind of person people can come back to...I do! I rarely interact with anyone on Tumblr but I always open it to see what you might have posted or replied to...you do seem like my best friend and very much like an older sister I can rely too because I think you are very wise, just through your stories...I think I told you before, it is through your stories I realized to accept the 'unloved parts', that even though it is a fictional story, the characters are not going to be perfect but they are going to be loved. That was a very enlightening moment for me. 🫶🫶

You are stronger than me, I would never make it past the terrible book. A big confession: I still haven't read the Song of Achilles because it didn't come in the cover I wanted when I specifically ordered that one, I need to get over it and just read it because I have heard so many good things...Hoarding books is fun, I am a very retail therapy kinda gal...Shopping makes me happy and it is the last thing I do when nothing seems to work (she says as she orders beauty products)....but yeah I need to finish my TBR by the end of the year too, it is also along the lines of 30 books...Anywho, I hope you get through it and have an amazing day/week/year/decade!!! 💛💛💛

-🧸

P.S. It is already the 15th where I am but HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! I hope your day is filled with utmost love❤️❤️❤️

Happy Valentine's Day I hope it was lovely! 💕

I loved Song of Achilles but unpopular opinion I liked her other book Circe more. Achilles was wonderful, I think I stared at a wall for an hour. But I just was so captured by the characters more than I felt attached to Achilles. In general, try not to give up on books. The only one I've struggled with and have paused from reading was Catch 22. My coworker's resolution was to give up on books that she didn't like reading--which is a great resolution in my opinion--so don't feel bad . I need some reading questions lol. You can take the girl out of school but not the girl out of school.

It's really amazing that you can relate to the characters in the silly little stories I write 💕 You're right too, I'm totally grateful for the friendships I do have on here and off here. I'm glad people feel comfortable talking to me--it's actually really special to me and I don't take that for granted. I just kind of wish I had a version of me for myself, if that makes sense.

Have a lovely weekend!

xoxo

#🧸

[lordkingsmith]

I think I finally realized why I don’t like so many YA fantasy romances, and it took reading a retelling of Psyche and Eros to land on it.

People go “ok so the romantic leads apparently love each other but do they like each other?”

And valid but it’s not just them. Does anyone in these stories like each other? The more I thought about it the more I found that generally everyone treated each other with passive distain at best, intolerance and barely concealed hatred at worst. In this retelling, Psyche is allegedly close to her parents, her mentor and her female cousins. But wow does it not come across as such. Aside from clunky writing there’s no indication she actually likes anyone she’s around beyond a very passive “well they’re there and I’ve somewhat known them”

She has the very modern expectation of wanting to marry for love-but I’m excusing that here given who she’s destined to marry. The eventual wife of the god of desire should want desire and love. I mean. That’s fair. However I don’t think she even knows what that is. Anytime someone shows some interest romantically in someone she has the most visceral sense of disgust. She doesn’t want to marry someone older than her and wants love but she sure as hell doesn’t seem to get what desire is.

The author writes romance like they hate romance. A lot of young adult books have this same problem with their female leads. Katniss and Bella actually make sense here. Katniss has been in love without realizing it for most of her life and Bella can barely make up her mind about what kind of sandwich she wants-but both of them are excellent at the concept of self sacrifice for love and a reality where that can thrive. Fantastic.

There’s very little other characters that do that right.

In this retelling even Odysseus’s wife Penelope hates his ass. Psyche’s mother is fond of but tolerates her dad. The men all hate their wives and daughters. Achilles would rather boast about what his mother gave him than her as a person.

Nobody likes each other. Nobody can stand being in the same room as each other. Even Eros after he spells himself can barely stand being around Psyche. And I’m never sold on Psyche being more than ‘meh’ around Eros. I give Eros and the gods a pass because being petty and hating each other is kinda their MO

I do think it’s important that the main romantic leads like each other. I also think everyone else needs to like each other, too. Why do I care about anyone when nobody in your own story seems to actually deeply care about each other.

If siblings and parents and cousins seem to secretly want to throttle their family what’s the point. Everyone’s awful and I’m bored

#and this is very much a me thing #but I had to take a break from this book because wow this is miserable #psyche mentally makes fun of women and puts them down and is fine with her cousin because her cousin wants to learn how to shoot a bow #and then cousin likes boys and psyche peaces out and mentally makes fun of her cousin #girl I’m not invested in you you’re a miserable know it all #I need the cast to like each other #but when I get the sense they’re just there because divorce isn’t a thing or family or what not #wow what a slog #and ya has become nothing but this #everyone hates each other and nobody is having fun

[walkinginquiry]

I just finished reading Song of Achilles, and of course, it was amazing. But I had a thought as I was reaching the finally:

I get that it was all from Patroclus' pov but like, I would have loved to see what happened in the underworld. I wrote down a few ideas of what I think would have happened inbetween as my own personal headcannons of what happened when we couldn't see it (and I get that it is cannon that they are just shadows, the souls, but that makes for way less amusing happenings and I need some after the heartbreaking parts of the books)

------------

Achilles arriving at the underworld alone because a CERTAIN person refused to write Patroclus' name on the tombstone

Achilles: *arrives at the underworld*

Achilles: *searching for Patroclus, can't find him*

Achilles: Gods dammit Patroclus, where are you? I had us buried together so it would be easy to find each other in the underworld

-------------

It's canon that Pyrrhus would have gone to the underworld before Patroclus, and I was a little upset that Pyrrhus didn't get his due evening out for his bad actions, so this is mostly just Achilles clearing a few things up for him

Pyrrhus: *Stomping right up to Achilles*

Pyrrhus: Father, you would be proud of me

Achilles: *still hasn't given up his search for Patroclus, only half listening* uh huh, yeah

Pyrrhus: I pleased you with the dead girl offering, right?

Achilles, think back to Agamemnon's daughter: Wait, what now?

Pyrrhus: oh yeah, I also made sure that commoner didn't mooch off your fame! We couldn't take his ashes out, as they were mixed together, but I did not let them put his name on your tombstone

Achilles: YOU, you are the reason I am not with the love of my life, and probably never will be!

Pyrrhus: Wait, what? You wanted his name on the tombstone?

Achilles: *throwing his hands up in frustration* of course I wanted his name on the tombstone! Why would I be buried with someone if I didn't want their name on the tombstone!

Pyrrhus: Well, I'm not a mind reader dad. Next your going to tell me that one bedslave girl was telling the truth about you and that man, that you never bed her because of him

Achilles: do you mean Briseis? Of course I never bedded her, the only thing we had in common was that we both were in love with Patroclus. Why would I bed her? I'm gay, kid

Pyrrhus: but you bedded mom??

Achilles: the only reason I did that was because my mother kidnapped me and said it was the only way she would tell Patroclus where I was

Pyrrhus: so you like never bedded the girl, like never ever? And you were in love with the one man? so she wasn't lying?

Achilles: no she wasn- wait, what did you do?

Pyrrhus: 👉👈 I may or may not have killed her for lying to me... I thought she just didn't want to bed me, so she lied, and then she cut me with a knife, so I killed her

Achilles: wait, I never saw her here, are people just really hard to find here?

Pyrrhus:

Pyrrhus: about that... I may or may not have killed her in the ocean... And then couldn't find her body so I just... Didn't bury her

Achilles: Oh my gods, what the heck kinda child did you raise mom?

------------

I thought the one scenes at the end between Thetis and Patroclus were really adorable, and I loved that after she spent the whole book hating him, she is the one who added his name so he and Achilles could reunite

Patroclus: *walking into the underworld*

Patroclus: sup babe, sorry I'm late

Achilles: *nearly sobbing* wha-? How? You're here! How are you here? I missed you so much! I thought I would never see you again!

Patroclus: oh, yeah, well, hung out with your mom a bunch. We shared stories and just chilled at our grave. She was the one who added me so we could be reunited.

Achilles, who never once saw his mother be civil to mortals, much less help Patroclus for nothing in return: my mother? Are you sure it was my mother?

Patroclus: do you know anyone else who would sit at your grave and tell stories about you while looking like a ghost with demon eyes?

Achilles, wondering what the heck has been happening on the surface world since he left cause every time he talks to someone, the surface world seems to get weirder and weirder, I mean, his mother finding good company in the spirit of the mortal love of his life that she always hated before?: I guess she lied to me when she said no, you know, about protecting you after I'm gone. Anyway, I'm so sorry, Pyrrhus told me what happened.

Patroclus: I have nothing to forgive you for. Besides, I saw his whole homophobic temper tantrum both times, and let me just say with complete and utter sarcasm, you have a great kid, really, one of the finest

Achilles: Both times?

Patroclus, changing the subject so Achilles didn't try to rekill an already dead soul: *Placing their foreheads together, their noses touching* at least we are together now, that is all that matters. I shall never let go of you again.

Achilles: you think I would give you the chance? I'm never letting you slip away from me again, we will be together for eternity

#song of achilles #achilles #patroclus #greek mythology #briseis #pyrrhus #thetis #underworld #patrochilles #tsoa #tsoa fanfic #tsoa memes #tsoa achilles #the song of achilles #tsoa spoilers #achilles x patroclus #tsoa patroclus #tsoa briseis #tsoa thetis

[antiloreolympus]

12 Anti LO Asks

1. its victim blaming of hades to tell minthe its HER fault she "couldnt get over him". like? you lied to her! youre the one who blurred the lines to date her! you were just as toxic to her if not more so by controlling where she lives and her job, all while never defending her to your cruel family! you had all the power over her while she had nothing! you dumped her for a 19 year old and dont care she crippled minthe! i wont excuse minthe's actions, but hades is ultimately the worse of the two IMO

2. you know why fans claimed "Minthe should've reacted better"? since the first episode Rachel has been drilling into their heads Minthe is an irredeemable monster, and her not bending over backwards to H/P means she deserves the absolute worst. Minthe reacting how anyone logically would doesn't matter when LO is designed to coddle H/P, and anyone against them must suffer for it, even if the victim to H/P's actions. they never wanted her to be "redeemed", they want her head on a silver platter.

3. i know this is not what she intended bc the only characterization rachel has of hxp is "the best over everything" but uh, does she know having hades control all the petroleum and gasses and whatever else is actively destroying the planet, right? like hes helping the very thing persephone draws her power from and what she's connected to be destroyed to appease hes need for wealth and power. its kinda gross hes being romanticized while he commits horrible acts like this for his bank account.

4. its not impossible to go opposite in their original myth personalities and still have it work. like in hades game, sisyphus is one of the most likable characters, achilles is gentle and kind, ares is calm and rational, etc, but it makes sense within the context of the story. LO in comparison goes "all these loving mothers are evil because i said so! this beloved god is now evil because i said so! minthe is evil because i said so!" and that's about it in terms of logic to these wild changes.

5. I can kinda get behind anon's theory about the flower nymphs looking like P to help her be undetected, the problem is there are also unrelated women in comic who are bright pink and look just like her, with hades even confusing them for her! if i had to bet the only reason they look like that is because rachel just wanted daphne to look like her to hammer home apollo is "obsessed" with P and to fake them as her "real family" over demeter. also just laziness in designing characters in general.

6. its weird hades and persephone are well aware what they're doing is bad even openly admitting it and yet the narrative is so hellbent on excusing their bad actions?? like hades being the major toxic factor in his relationship to minthe, persephone killing people, or hades wanting to bone an eternal 19 year old? like rachel you know thats not how character growth works, right? you cant show they have horrible flaws and leave them to never grow and learn from it, that's not good writing at all.

7. what i also dont get is the hierarchy makes no sense? like zeus is framed as the top god, but that would mean hades cant be the most important man ever so rachel also made him equal rank with zeus (and i guess poseidon too) so?? how does zeus have all that power over them then if theyre all equal? is it because zeus swallowed metis?  also how are the fertility goddess so powerful and rare yet so easily taken down? how are they overpowered and super weak at the same time? i just dont get it.

8. Re reading chapter 144 and other anon is right we do see the pomegranate pin on Hades outfit (so Hades gifts it to her)

But also some things to note

During the makeout session persy begins to disappear in butterfly form and hades is like "no don't leave!" And he grabs her, preventing her from leaving. Which is..kinda Ick considering they were on their way to having (public) sex and he doesn't want her to leave which seems like he's not really respecting her boundaries? (because if she does he'll "be lonely")

The pomegranate pin is Hades' to begin with so technically one of Persephones symbols is not hers (yes I know in the original myth she ate it in the underworld / was forced to eat it but still its supposed to be her symbol)

Hades notes that he "doesn't want to overstep his boundaries as host" because Persephone is a guest (too late for that)

Persephones main concern (after what a week or 2?) after being raped is when Hades wants to stop her reaction is "dont you want me anymore?"

Girl you aren't even dating ...??

Persy's literal one and only concern is that she thinks if she doesnt sleep with Hades right then or when/if he wants to that "she wont be able to give him what hes used to" ... Which is reinforcing that she went to therapy to get "over being blocked" in regards to having sex

Although Hades does mention that she shouldn't feel like she needs to please him and that a kiss can just be a kiss which would be nice

(And yet his thinking of marrying her amd he's known her for 2, 3 weeks? ... And he says "the beginning of a new relationship is exciting and scary" so hes basically indicating thay their dating at this point, I think?)

And later the nymphs in the store are like "do you wanna be the dominatrix of the bedroom?? Buy this lingerie!" And persy does. So??

Meanwhile Demeter is very worried for her daughter who is busy sitting in Hades lap in a pool. 

9. Can we talk about how anons are making fucking flow charts for the LO Timeline cause it's so ridiculously jumbled?

10. im not even against rushed relationships, ive known actual couples who met and were married all within the same year and it worked out great, the difference though is these were people who had their own lives and previous relationships. the issue with LO is RS designed it so Persephone can NEVER have relationships or a life outside of Hades, and if they did get married offscreen, it's framing their marriage in a toxic and unbalanced light. That's not a romance, it's a disaster waiting to happen.

11. i feel like there's a difference between drawing an interesting hooked/aquiline nose versus whatever the hell RS puts on Hades' face. It honestly looks like he's in between morphing into a bird half the time since it just looks like a beak over an actual facial feature.

12. are there shareholders or a board of advisors or something at underworld corp? because if there is id say they have more than enough reason to kick hades out and strip him of his titles/shares because of all the shit he's caused by being guided by his broken pp over thinking with his head. liking dating TWO employees? and getting one of them phsyically crippled by the other bc he can't be honest with either of them and she's a walking time bomb? he's a walking HR nightmare.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

[literary-sapphicc]

So. I finished the book.

I was expecting to like it as I kept going because sometimes some stories take time to really get to me — just like songs that I dislike at first, but after trying to understand them I come to like or appreciate them. I can’t say that I liked The Song of Achilles, and it left me with nothing tbh. This book had no impact on my life and it disappointed me.

But first things first. I don’t think this is a bad book. Most of the reviews I read were extremely positive and everyone seems to like it. I also don’t think this is a good book. It’s just kinda there, it exists, I look at it and say “ah, yes, it is a book”. It’s average. 2.5/5. It doesn’t offend me likfe After or The Phantom of Manhattan. It didn’t “change my life” like Bernard Cornwell’s Arthur.

My criticism shouldn’t make you not want to read tsoa. By all means, read it and take your own conclusions, and this isn’t a personal attack on the author or anyone that likes tsoa.

But let me get to the point.

1. One of the reasons I thought it was hard to read tsoa was the publishing work. There were several little problems that should’ve been solved in the first time someone read the finished layout. Like. How do you even miss so many things?

The translation is weird sometimes (and I don’t know if it’s because the book tries to emulate ancient greek or if it’s because the translation is just bad), the dialogue is edited weird, sometimes there’s no separation between action and dialogue, sometimes there’s no indication of dialogue! What is happening?

This could just be a different style — and it’s the first time I read a book edited by this publishing house —, so I tried to ignore most of these issues.

2. What happened to the characters?

Like, I didn’t expect to read exactly what I read in Homer, but I didn’t understand why some characters are the way they are. I mean, I don’t understand why Tetis is the way she is.

I never really cared about Diomedes, Menelau and Agamemnon (and Agamemnon is awful but tsoa seems to ignore the role Zeus played in the story, but eh…), Odysseus was funny and I liked the way he was presented (kinda different from what I remember), but Tetis was a huge part of my classes about the Iliad (because my teacher focused a lot on death and Tetis and the other women in the Iliad have a huge part on mourning the characters), and I just ??? what happened to her?

Why does she hate Patroclus? Why is she so cold? I remember that she and the Nereids cried for Patroclus (Il. 18). I just… don’t get it.

3. What even is this book?

I thought I was reading a story about Achilles and Patroclus. But it doesn’t feel like a romance, you know? I wasn’t expecting fluffy coffee shop au, but I thought I’d get some character development.

The Iliad doesn’t focus on the psychological aspect of the characters, so a book narrated by Patroclus’ soul (this will come back later) could give more insight about how things were at the time.

They spent nine years together and their relationship doesn’t change? Like???

If I had a drink each time Patroclus and Achilles had a meaningful conversation I’d be completely sober. There’s no reason to believe they respect and love each other. Why should I believe it’s necessary for them to be buried together? Their relationship doesn’t feel real, and it definitely doesn’t feel earned.

I think the writing in this book is bland. There’s one thing I liked: when Patroclus explains a word in greek. At first it may seem like “why are you explaining a greek word when you’re greek?”, but considering there are lots of dialects, it made me feel that the world and the characters were palpable.

But that’s the only thing, really.

I kept skipping paragraphs because they did nothing to further the story. Like. How many times do I need to read about Achilles’ feet? Or skin? Or hair? How many times do I need to read about Tetis’ skin? I don’t care, just give me meaningful moments!

I think these repetitive parts could be a way of characterizing Patroclus (he’s just so bland and I still don’t understand why he should be the equivalent of the nerdy guy in a nerd x popular au) because he’s telling the story from the afterlife and he says he’s made of memories, but:

At least in Homer, the souls could only have human abilities if the person was unburied or if the soul drank blood (that’s like giving something from the body to the soul), and the souls in Hades were only shadows that couldn’t speak and move properly, they had no memory (unless if they had blood or were unburied) and they could only enter Hades once the corpse was buried with the proper rituals.

So. Considering Homer didn’t exactly translated the beliefs to the Iliad, I don’t think it’s bad that a soul is narrating tsoa — I think it’s nice and it was my first thought when I found out it was a first person pov. That’s why the repetitiveness would be interesting if there were more moments. Patroclus says he’s made of memories? Okay, then show me. Show me why I should care about these characters. Show me why I should feel bad when no one buries Patroclus. Show me why I should care about Achilles going after Heitor.

The only real emotion I felt with tsoa wasn’t earned by the book. I just knew how everyone reacted to Patroclus’ death in the Iliad; I knew what Achilles said to Patroclus before he pretended to be Achilles, I knew what Achilles said to Tetis when he found out Patroclus was dead, I knew what Achilles had said to Heitor when he was begging for mercy; I knew what was going to happen to Patroclus’ soul if he wasn’t buried and I knew how Patroclus felt (in the Iliad) when he thought no one was going to mourn him, and I knew he specifically asked to Achilles for them to be buried together.

The big moment of tsoa — the one people in reviews say made them cry like babies — was only a big thing for me because I had extra knowledge.

I read some people saying “maybe I’d like more if I read the Iliad”, but I think I’d like tsoa more if I didn’t know the Iliad.

4. What even is this book? part II

This book is. So. Boring.

Because there’s no meaningful conversations, no character development, the scenes are too quick and it’s “tell, don’t show” instead of “show, don’t tell”.

I know this could be in 3., but I needed to say it. I was so bored the whole time. It’s like watching paint dry. It has so many pages and yet it feels like nothing happened.

And worse. The “foreshadowing” is basically Achilles saying “Heitor did me no wrong, why should I kill him?”, and then “Well, Patroclus, we know you’re not the aristos achaion, so you’re not the one who’ll die first” ???? like ???? a little more subtlety, please.

I know we all know what’s going to happen, but I expected the book to intend to be original, like — “I know you know Heitor kills Patroclus, but let’s pretend this is the first time you’re reading about Achilles, Patroclus and Heitor”.

I feel like tsoa depends so much on previous knowledge that it doesn’t even try to be a good story. It was a frustrating experience.

I know it doesn’t sound like I think tsoa is average, but as I said: it didn’t offend me, it didn’t change my life, so 2.5/5.

#book ramblings// #tsoa// #long post #i guess this is a review

[outoftimewriting]

Imagine (based on the incomplete fanfic Son of the Underworld) (Son of Hades! Percy AU) (5/5) or (5/10)

Hey so, this is the last part of PJO - I follow into HOO, so before you read this, check on the masterpost - and read the warnings before proceeding :)) Good reading!

Annabeth comes to him, at the end of his fifteenth birthday party, and shows her Daedalus laptop. There's a document open in it, and it's labeled Achilles' Curse.

Percy doesn't read it - he hates reading, in any way or form or language - but she does, out loud.

"I'll think about it"

They have a year. Most of them, even those who aren't year-rounders, are going back to camp, to draw battle plans and stock on the armory.

He feels kinda selfish - for a whole five seconds before he remembers he'll probably die next summer, so he just shrugs it off - Percy deserves this year.

They all leave to go back to camp. Nico seems conflicted over something - but Perseus doesn't question it, there's enough bad blood between them.

Paola is really cool - and Sally really loves her. It's kind of bizarre at first, to see his Mom dating his teacher - and of a subject he hates - but Paola is calm and well-tempered and she laughs at his stupid ass jokes.

He visits Persephone afterward - and it really feels like he has three moms to fulfill his lack of a father - well, he is absolutely grateful for the women in his life.

Percy isn't truly in good terms with his father. The man doesn't really seem to care much for him as a person - he is much more of a trophy son.

Perseus loathes being a trophy son, but at least he has someone to help with his powers - not something a lot of half-bloods can claim.

So he goes back to school with Rachel, and they pretend everything is normal. He tells her about his quests - all three of them. He thinks she understands him better now.

He opens up to her. Tells her about Annabeth - the adrenaline-fueled kiss - and Rachel stops talking with him for a week.

She apologizes when she comes back. She needed to figure some things up - firstly, the redhead tells him she is probably asexual - and maybe aromantic too, but she is not certain because the internet wasn't really clear about that.

Then Rachel confesses that she is not jealous of him in a romantic way - she is envious of his friendship with Annabeth. Percy is her first genuine friend that really appreciates her.

This is the first grudge Perseus lets go for real before it even takes place - Rachel didn't leave him because of teenage drama, she ignored him out of confusion. Everyone is allowed space - he knows this better than anyone.

They don't kiss anymore. Not because Rachel doesn't like it - no, she is all for it - but because Percy is starting to think kisses should mean something - he is saving them.

They kiss once - when Rachel father calls for the first time this year - not to ask about her, but to tell Rachel he found this amazing all-girls school. To Percy, kisses mean comfort.

They cuddle a lot, though. These past few years of fear have made Percy very touch-starved.

It's sophomore year - and Percy is in five AP classes: Macroeconomics&Microeconomics, Statistics, Calculus AB, Physics 1, and Comparative Government and Politics.

He is planning on taking both AP Computer Science classes, Psychology, Physics 2, and Calculus BC next year; leaving only Electricity&Magnetism, Mechanics, Chemistry, and World History for his senior year.

If he lives, he is working on a tight schedule here. He doesn't know what he wants yet - and if he is in constant danger, it's already pretty lucky he can do high school - but probably something with Math.

Rachel says fourteen AP courses are ambitious - that he'll burn out. But math comes to him easily enough - it's in his blood.

She is also overworking: She is taking AP Environmental Studies, Art History, Drawing, 2-D Art and Design, and English Literature and Composition.

They complete each other. Rachel is planning on taking as many Art, History, and English courses as she can - he is taking as many Physics, Math, and Science as he can handle.

(She is also going to take on Japanese studies for some reason - probably for her GPA, but Perseus just teases her that she is getting too invested in anime)

Perseus doesn't care about languages anymore - the only languages that matter to him are C++ and JavaScript now.

They study together, they take naps together, they climb to the roof together, they flee school to visit Sally together - he is the Pinky to her Brain, the Scooby to her Shaggy, the Lois Lane to her Superman, the Robin to her Batman.

They look like troublemakers - They are honor roll students, but she is always with ripped pants dirty with paint, and he is always full of flowers everywhere, even in his muddy converses - a cliche to kill all cliches.

They're both nerds - he is the classic one, all polo shirts now, the first chair for every number-related class - and she is the artsy one - there's a brush behind her ear and her hair is so messy that half the time it covers her face.

Paola gifts him a pair of cheap frames without lenses once - saying it adds to the aesthetic - he totally uses them.

Persephone just makes him flower-crowns, and giggles when he matches them with his polo shirts.

When winter comes, he goes back to his hoodies and sweaters and gloves - to find out he doesn't miss them a lot.

Rachel introduces him to polaroids - and they look eerily pretty in the winter, her hair looking like blood spilling over the snow - and he loves it.

If he survives - he can feel Rachel slapping him - when he survives, his college credits will be remarkable. The idea of doing SATs makes him want to cry - reading always does - but he'll get somewhere good - he knows it. Perhaps Stanford. Or NYU. Or the dream of his life, MIT.

He is living his life to the fullest - he starts reading comic books, he gets really (really) into Tony Stark once Iron Man 1 comes out (even if he has to kill at least three monsters just to go to the movies), he plants trees and Rachel starts teaching him how to play her ukulele - but half his mind is still on the upcoming war.

Christmas vacation comes - and he goes to visit Camp Half-Blood, before heading back to his mom. It's quite memorable, if only by the fact that Nico Di Angelo freaking betrays him.

He tells Percy to come to the Winter Solstice with him. Most of the campers are not going - the war effort is in an all-time high - but Percy has never gone before. Hades will be there - it'll be great!

Perseus should absolutely be less surprised with the outcome - seeing that Nico is inviting him in Cabin 1, post-dinner, and they don't even stop to talk to Chiron about it.

But Percy goes. Because Percy wants to make amends.

There's no time to really talk to anyone. They travel in Blackjack for the Empire State Building - and it's fine.

They go up to Olympus, Nico shows him everything in the god's land, the temples are a work of art, if not kind of old, and the meeting is kind of okay, even if the gods are squabbling children.

Then the gods leave, and Perseus thinks they're leaving too.

"My father needs a word with you"

Perseus feels the betrayal claw on him. There are no shadows in the white hall, there's no way for him to escape. Nico looks apologetic - Percy wants to clock him in the face.

"He promised to tell me more about my mother" Nico pleads "He will tell me more about where I've come from. Please, Percy."

Nico is cute. He is, for a soon-to-be fourteen-year-old. But his pretty face and exquisite white eyes don't make him any less of a freaking liar. All his handsome male straight friends betray him - it's a worrying pattern now.

He muses for a second that they also all have a crush on Annabeth - gods, the blonde attract the worst types.

It's double-crossing - Percy ends up in an all-white cell that burns his retinas without any weapons because Zeus wants praise in the middle of this freaking war - doesn't matter if a hundred demigods die, if he only has the glory.

Nico ends up with barely any information - Zeus didn't promise anything. The god of the skies is a lying-ass motherfucker - literally.

And Zeus justifies it - He says Perseus is a criminal because he awakened Typhon. So Hephaestus issues a quest so he can save a hundred demigods, he destroys a powerful titan weapon of doom, and he is the villain? Sure, Jan.

Perseus writes this grudge in his heart - that's where trust will take you. To a cell. Betrayed by a "friend". Again.

He flinches when Nico comes into his cell, pins him to the wall and promptly begins to try and strangle him. He wants to melt in the boy's shadow - to go and never give him a chance to explain - but he looks so guilty Percy waits for his repentance.

The son of Zeus saves him, but Perseus is still pissed off. The god of thunder has threatened to kill him off at least two times now, what is to say he wouldn't have killed off Percy for the sake of glory?

He half hopes Zeus had killed him off. The war is close, too close - Nico wouldn't be the Prophecy's child. There would be no child. Olympus would fall - and Percy would have seen it all from his very comfortable couch in Elysium.

He wants Kronos gone - but he kind of wants Olympus to fall with the Titan.

Nico flies him down to the Earth - the elevator is monitored. Zeus has left, like many others - not to bother with the war effort against his main enemy, but to go to the human world mess with people.

Some gods are doing something - He has heard from Annabeth that Artemis is leading the widest hunt ever, with her brother by her side; Hermes (with Hephaestus help) is delivering Celestial Bronze, other metals, old schematics and a whole lot of fuel to Camp Half-Blood every few weeks; Poseidon is fighting his own war, in the ocean; Dionysus is at Camp - and this time, he is really helpful with the battle formations; Demeter is on the Underworld - Chiron seems to think his father is preparing for war, but Percy sorely doubts it.

Percy is taking some people with him to Sally's Christmas dinner. Just Annabeth, Clarisse, Rachel, Connor, Travis, and Charles - people who don't have a present family to celebrate it with.

Grover is coordinating the dryads up in San Francisco with his second cousin, Gleeson Hedge - they are the first to fall if anything goes wrong in Mt. Othrys.

"I think you should stay." He tells Nico.

"You don't trust me anymore." It's not actually a question.

Percy doesn't trust the boy. Not at all - it's the third time he does something shady to achieve his ends based on emotional turmoil. But he is a good person - it's just his father's cursed temper and his grief.

"It's not that. You're needed for the war effort."

Both of them know it's a lie. Percy doesn't care - he deserves to be bitter a little longer.

Percy goes back home. Christmas is amazing - even if Rachel asks him where Nico is because he is talking about making amends with the boy for a while now.

He goes visit Persephone - but she is occupied, so he wanders through the Underworld after Bianca di Angelo - someone he, for some reason, never been able to reach. It's a pointless endeavor by now.

He finds her. Or else, he finds a shadow of her - she is blocked from his view. Bianca doesn't talk to him - they weren't close - but she guides him to a girl.

Her name is Hazel Levesque.

She seems lost - like most ghosts - but something in Percy calls for her. It's the color of her skin and the sparkle in her golden eyes - Hazel remembers him of himself.

He promises to visit more - even though he doesn't think she'll remember it - and leaves to go back to the surface - he will finish the sophomore year.

And Percy does. After a very distressing break, he is doing his best. His grades drop a little in English because he can barely focus - half his mind is on the war and Nico's betrayal and Hazel Levesque's golden eyes.

Miraculously, his GPA doesn't fall - he still is taking a ridiculous amount of AP classes, and barely has time to breathe - dark circles grow under his eyes, and he looks like a mess - but now he is a Junior.

That's why, as soon as the year ends, Rachel takes him on a road trip with Connor. They go all the way to Boston, then Portland, Quebec, Montreal, Ottawa, Syracuse, Baltimore, and Filadelfia, before going back to NY.

They are stopped five times by the police - because Percy is black, and it's Rachel driving the Camaro, because she has a learner's permit and Connor is, somehow, an approved license holder.

They are on a pier, enjoying the view of the beach. They did the last week alone because Connor wanted to go check on one of his cousins - at least, that's what he said, with an over-exaggerated wink that both Percy and Rachel ignored for the sake of their sanity.

She tells him about Clarion Ladies Academy - but that her father is at least mildly happy with her GPA this year, even if he disapproves of her Art focused AP classes. Percy thinks Mr. Dare would love him, with his APs on Economics and Politics, if only he was rich. And white.

This time, when Charles Beckendorf arrives in a Pegasus to tell him it's time, Rachel doesn't kiss him - she justs hugs him and makes him promise to call her.

Perseus doesn't go to the Andromeda Ship - he is needed in Camp. He is useless on the water - but they do need him to improve battle strategy.

Charles Beckendorf is dead. Thalia is the one to tell them - she was in her father's palace helping with a monster under her Lady's orders - he went on the mission alone.

Percy talks briefly with Beckendorf's ghost - is his worst developed power, and he can barely hold the "seance" for more than a few minutes. He does it with only Nico di Angelo for witness - the others are the way to close to the situation.

There's a spy passing information to Luke.

They look at him. Doesn't matter how much he does, he is always the first suspect - he is a son of Hades. He was friends with a lot of people on the other side. He was gone for a year and a half, who knows where.

Perseus wants to say that he has helped to save their asses four times now - that without him in the Labyrinth, they would all be dead right now - and that Charles was basically his older brother.

Then he points out he wasn't even here - he had no idea of any plans of anything - and he told him about the spy, so he is not the freaking spy, go point fingers at each other instead of him.

When they start yelling, he stops them - this is not the time, he was just angry at their accusations. They have to burn Charles shroud. Silena is inconsolable - Percy is not very far from it, but he is not a public crier. The last time he cried in public, Luke was dead on a cliff.

Percy speeds up the line for Elysium to Beckendorf - his brother deserves it.

They read the prophecy together - Perseus already read it last summer, he doesn't even care anymore. They look at him anxiously - no one has forgotten that he abhors most of the gods.

Clarisse and Michael Yew fight, but Lee Fletcher - with a mechanical arm built by Beckendorf himself, still re-learning how to shoot arrows and forever incapable of playing the guitar again (but the keyboard is not ruled out yet) - stops them: They can share the chariot. The war is more important - is not the time for petty fights.

Chiron shows them Typhon - and Perseus has a sliver of hope that they can destroy Kronos and be free of the gods at the same time - It's a horrible hope, because he loves Persephone and some of them are even okay sometimes, but he really wants Zeus to go to Tartarus for at least a century, so Perseus doesn't meet him again in this life.

But he also wants the gods to win, because there's a lot of dead people - innocents, people who have nothing to do with this war.

He dreams of Rachel. Rachel is painting Luke - and Percy wakes up crying, for the boy the gods took away.

Annabeth takes him aside and reminds him of Achilles' Curse. He is off to May Castellan's house - the last place Luke has been - for it's his best and only chance, its what Annie thinks. And she is scarcely wrong.

Perseus hates the gods. They wrecked a family - and for what? May Castellan - forever waiting for a son that will never come back, haunted by visions of his future, plates of burned cookies everywhere.

Perseus doesn't pity her - he rages against the gods, who brought madness upon this woman and then left her to it. Where was Apollo, the god of health? Dionysus, who is supposed to control mental health? Artemis, whose job is to protect women?

Hestia is kind - but she is still a goddess. She could've prevented this - but she hides in her hearth and abstains - and that's enabling. Hestia enables the other gods to do as they please, even when she is the oldest. She says they ignore her - oh well, she ignores them right back! He has no time for the laments of another all-powerful being.

So he goes to his mother and asks for her blessing. Then, just to be sure, he asks Persephone's too.

He thinks about his anchor - where does he want it to be in his body. He doesn't want somewhere in his back - where he can't see it - or in his gut - where anyone can stick a sword. He settles for the bottom of his back - where he can at least touch it and it's well protected by armor - and dives.

Perseus hates water - and he has an uncanny fear of drowning. He feels pain - everywhere, horrible pain.

His vision now doesn't have Annabeth's face - the blonde is his link to the demigod world, Persephone is his link to the Underworld and his mom is his link to childhood - but the person who grounds him is Rachel.

He is stronger. He feel his powers at his fingertips - Perseus feels the Underworld as a whole, and it's overwhelming.

Green flames explode from his hands. Flowers made of shadows curve around his ankles - he has been training since he was 12, but now his body can sustain all of his power. This is all his.

He goes meet with his father - Perseus manipulates him. He tells Hades he'll be the hero, but the god himself can be praised for more than being his father. That he should join the battle against Typhon - That's his chance of proving himself. Also, there's less paperwork for him if there are fewer dead people.

His father is amused with his blatant bribing, but he thinks about it, Percy can tell. In a way or another, he excuses himself and goes back to the surface where he is needed.

Persephone stalls him. She asks him to stay, just for this night. He can go back in the morning - he sleeps, and dreams of Rachel again, drawing in the sand. In greek.

He is scared for her - she is having demigod dreams, but she is mortal. Something is wrong.

Typhon is getting worse - and Kronos draws closer to NYC. It's time - he calls for Blackjack and leaves - Mrs. O'Leary, who has become more or less of a mother to his own hellhound, follows. Persephone promises to convince Hades.

They have about sixty campers able to fight heading for the Empire State Building, and five healers. The ones too young to lift a sword or string a bow stayed back at Camp with Argus - fifteen children between 5 and 9 years old.

Percy knows he looks different - he looks just like his father. He has gained a godly aura - he has no scars anymore, no imperfections. Perseus looms over all of them - he went from 5'7'' to 6'2'' - it's a weird view, from up there. It's still strange when they look at him with a mix of fear and admiration.

Perseus Jackson is officially their leader. He hates Olympus - but he will give his life to defend every single one of his demigods.

The vision Hestia shows him just makes him want to tear this throne room with his bare hands - Luke was a kid. He was a kid - and the gods corrupted him. Thalia was a kid - and the gods took her life, twice. Annabeth is still a kid - they all are - and she is here planning battle strategies.

Annabeth missed an extra year of formal education - while Percy is a Junior, Annabeth barely qualifies for a Freshman - because the gods took this from her too.

Percy rages. The ground of Olympus trembles beneath him - he wants to kill something.

Then Hermes appears - like this whole war is not his fault in the first place, the literal bastard - just to relay a message from Athena that gives them a plan that Annabeth was already putting into works and tells Percy to stay away from Annabeth.

Like she cares. Like Athena has ever, ever, done anything for Annabeth.

Perseus can't punch Athena, so he punches the messager (also, because he freaking guilt trips both of them about Luke). He has nothing to lose - he is going to die by the end of the day anyway, and they need him too much.

He has punched a god before - Ares, in a desert in the middle of Los Angeles - but this time, it's satisfactory. He feels good after it.

Hermes seems strangely resigned - He feels guilty about Luke too, but Perseus doesn't think it's enough. It'll never be enough, not while the gods leave their children to rot in a cabin of rejects and May Castellan bakes cookies for a son that will never come back.

Hermes leaves, ashamed. It's only fair, Perseus thinks. They all should be ashamed.

They see the city asleep - the prophecy is in the works.

Perseus executes their strategy - every cabin is covering a tunnel, with the exception of Dionysus, because Pollux is with the Demeter kids, and the Hecate kids stay behind to use spells to overlook the city. Lincoln Tunnel is getting covered by Ares - who, this time around, is actively participating.

The undetermined who didn't desert are with Hermes - and the minor god's children are divided by specialty - most Hypnos and Morpheus children follow him directly, but the two sons of Iris go with the Apollo Cabin.

Annabeth executes Plan 23, automatons, mounting on Mrs. O'Leary (who has strict orders to take Annabeth anywhere she wants without stopping to play around) - she doesn't need his help with this, and Percy has a tunnel to defend.

That left the rivers uncovered - until Thalia appears, with magical sand money, and made the rivers cooperate.

The hunters join the Aphrodite kids - who are half a dozen children between 11 and 19 - the oldest being Silena Beauregard, who uses a crossbow that looks exactly like her immortal half-brother's one.

His bridge is completely covered on skeletons - but no monster comes, even if he hears explosions. He leaves an English Lieutenant from the Battle of Yorktown in command of the bridge - with Tyene, the oldest daughter of Morpheus, to be in alert and don't let Clovis sleep through the battle. Because he did it before - and while it is funny, it can't happen right now.

Perseus mounts Blackjack - and go see where the noise is coming from. It's the Williamsburg Bridge - where are most of Apollo's Cabin.

They fight - and Percy almost cries when he sees Luke, who is not Luke anymore. Luke, who is a puppet controlled by Kronos.

Perseus kills the Minotaur and the weight of his stone spikes collapse the bridge - and Michael Yew dies. This time around, the bridge falls silently into shadows, and he doesn't bother about searching for the corpse - he saw the boy falling, and his screams will haunt all of them, forever.

This time around, Annabeth is not there to protect him - Ethan also doesn't try to kill him. The Son of Nemesis doesn't leave Kronos side for a second - but there's regret in his eyes.

After the bloodlust is gone, Perseus collapses - Will has to bride carry him back. Overuse of his powers - he summoned skeletons and produced shadows, melted enemy swords (with the bonus of incapacitating them without killing), and sprouted stone spikes everywhere - there's even a vine or ten that he used to hold his friends from falling.

Perseus doesn't sleep quickly enough to not hear the yell of anguish that comes from Lee Fletcher - the pain of losing a brother and not being able to fight beside him.

But he does sleep - and he dreams. He dreams of Hades killing Maria Di Angelo, not Hera, like Zeus told Nico. He dreams of Zeus cursing the Oracle - and he seethes, because he also sees what happened to May Castellan.

He keeps getting angrier and angrier at the gods - it's building inside of him. But his friends are still here, still fragile. He can't let them suffer more.

Perseus wakes up, checks on everyone - most everyone is either injured and/or exhausted, but he checks on every camper. He knows all of their names, their ages, their cabins. - and promises to sit up to talk with Thalia and Nico - war makes him prone to peace - and promptly goes back to sleep.

He dreams of Rachel. He wants to scream for her not to come: but she'll anyway.

Perseus dreams of a boy. He is his age - maybe a little younger. His hair is blonde and his skin is whiter - but Percy glances at his eyes, and there are waves in them.

There's a girl by his side - she is familiar to Percy, somehow. They're climbing a mountain.

The dream ends and Percy can't make heads or tails of it. He asks Thalia if she has a brother, but she says that she doesn't, looking wistful.

Prometheus is tempting - but he knows there's no Luke anymore, there's only Kronos. And the gods are horrible, vile and immature - but they never killed any of Percy's friends. Some of them died for the gods - but never by their hands, so for now, Perseus would toe the line.

He does want to punch Hermes again. He takes the Pythos - if everything goes wrong, he will not hesitate in going down for the sake of his friends - but there have been six deaths, and it's enough.

"Was it worth it?" He asks Ethan.

"Alabaster is alive" And it's all the answer Percy needs.

He dreams of Ethan and Alabaster. Alabaster is alive, yes, but he is missing half a leg - courtesy of Clarisse herself. Luke - Kronos - is indifferent, and Ethan curses the daughter of Ares - "The sword that took from us will take from you"

He contains Hyperion with his shadows. Then he helps Grover (who was half asleep, because of Morpheus) to make the Titan into a tree. It's a pomegranate tree - then he sets hellish fire to it and sacrifices it to Hades and Persephone.

A pig is in the sky - this time around, Annabeth and her frightening army of automatons kill it with Nico's help.

Perseus laughs - because Annabeth has about two hundred automatons under her command, Martin Luther King and Alexander Hamilton leading the charge with a giant bull being ridden by the Mad Hatter behind them.

It's weird to see historic figures Percy admires - like Jane Bolin, Sylvia Mendez, or Abraham Lincoln - fighting alongside people he downright despises - Thomas Jefferson and the goatfucker, herpes-ridden, Colombus. His Comparative Government teacher would have a field day.

Annabeth and Nico's pair up is amazing - They fight alongside like they have been doing it all life.

Nico is a force of nature, flying and commanding the winds to do his bidding - His eyes shine in the midst of the stormy clouds. His specialty is weather manipulation - he hasn't had much success with direct energy or electric discharges.

Annabeth has her mother's tenacity for war - and her clever mind for strategies. It's clear in her eyes - she is racking the weaker points of the Clazmonian Sow in her mind and destroying it. The automatons hold the pig in place - and she makes bacon of it.

Hercules couldn't do it. Nico and Annabeth can, because they have the power and the mind.

Perseus is still fighting off monsters - but they're too widespread, so they retreat to the doors of the Empire State Building.

Percy does a mental tally: of sixty-two campers, six are confirmed dead, twenty are injured and nine are out of commission on exhaustion. There should be 27 orange shirts here - but there's only twenty.

Percy wonders if the seven missing are injured, or dead, or under a pile of rubble somewhere with no one to help them. Is there someone being slowly eaten by monsters? Is there someone alone and injured and abandoned? He doesn't know.

He prays that those seven deserted them - at least that means they probably are alive and well.

Perseus looks at Phoebe's grief-stricken face, and he knows it's not probable - she had almost three dozen hunters with her, and now there's barely fifteen still fighting, Thalia nowhere to be seen.

They prepare for their last standing - Percy keeps conjuring skeletons, but they're no match for the sheer strength of the hyperborean giants. Nico is shoulder to shoulder with the Stoll brothers against a group of telkhines - Clarisse is bringing down a whole giant by herself.

After the Party Ponies save them - Chiron leads the charge against his own father, and Perseus is so proud of his mentor he can't even put in words how much - he goes to sleep. Fighting gets him tired quickly, and they'll come back.

He dreams of Dionysus. Perseus is not fond of any god who is not Persephone, but Dionysus is mostly okay sometimes. He seems to care about his children.

Perseus couldn't care less about the Western Civilization - but he'll care for Pollux. It's one of his demigods, after all, and Underworld people are possessive of theirs (i.e. Hades and Persephone).

He dreams of Thalia, in her father's palace, begging Poseidon to leave the underwater war and help with the invasion - His wife is none too happy with the presence of his immortal bastard daughter.

He wakes up to Rachel's helicopter falling - how is Rachel even awake, is a mistery.

The improbable pair Nico and Annabeth strike again: The girl knows how to fly helicopters, and the boy can fly himself. They save the redhead and the pilot - everything is fine.

"You're not the hero"

"Why did you risk yourself to tell me something I already know?"

Rachel doesn't explain - she can't. But she has a vision that says that he is not the hero. The hero of what? Perseus has no idea. But there's no way any of his cousins is dying for this stupid prophecy.

Suddenly, there's a drakon there. Rachel has another prophecy - Perseus fears she will walk the path that led May Castellan to destruction - that only a child of Ares will be able to kill it.

Bad news: All children of Ares are otherwise out of battle.

Clarisse is resting after a nasty concussion - and her brothers and Apollo's children are fighting yet again because Lee Fletcher is in no condition to stop them and Michael Yew is dead. Ares' side refuses to fight without the chariot - which Cabin 7 has hidden somewhere.

The best they can do is fend the drakon off until a miracle occurs. And it does: Clarisse, in full armor, manages to lead her brothers into battle.

Clarisse is dead. Something shatters inside of Perseus - and he leaves the drakon for the Ares' children to solve - he can't kill it anyway - and starts to vaporize the army behind it.

He is so caught up in bloodlust, that he almost misses Clarisse slaying a dragon. Clarisse, who has no armor. Clarisse, who is alive.

Ethan's curse rang true - Clarisse's weapon took something from her.

Silena is a traitor. She is also dead - which makes her a martyr, and probably going to reunite with her boyfriend in Elysium.

He remembers how easy is to fall for Luke's charm - he was - is - still in love with the guy. Percy thought the son of Hermes could do no wrong - and he wonders how much of his rage against the gods sprout from his influence.

Something evil inside of Perseus's mind tells him she deserved it. It tells Perseus that better her than Clarisse - but he shuts it down, and concentrates on his shining red friends.

He hates Ares. But he might just have an okay side if he can produce such a magnificent daughter.

Silena is the Patroclus to Clarisse's Achilles, and the Drakon is Hector - and the daughter of Ares is sure to parade its dead body.

It's the first time they feel like they are winning. It doesn't last - but as he hugs Clarisse tightly, he thinks he might cry of relief.

Clarisse looks tough - but she is a wonderful human being. She loves Silena with her whole heart - even more than she loves Chris, her best friend. Silena might've been in love with Charles - but she and Clarisse? They are soulmates.

The damned Pythos is following Perseus - and he is done with it. He knows where hope will survive best. Rachel wants him to give it to Hestia - but he owns the fire goddess nothing.

She has never interfered, not once, to help the dozens of demigods with no family that is abandoned in Cabin 11, and he won't forgive her for it.

He sacrifices hope to Persephone because that's what spring is. Spring is the hope of a new life. Maybe, Perseus thinks, it'll convince his father to come.

They go down to make their final stand against the forces of Kronos. There's not a lot of them - but they're not getting through those doors.

Well, his father doesn't come. But Poseidon does, with his whole army, Tyson and Thalia behind him, and the scales seem to turn.

And then Kronos cuts the barrier. Perseus can see his Mom (why is his Mom here with a handgun?!) and Poseidon fighting against the monsters under the eyes of extremely confused mortals.

Some are trying to break the barrier - but it's futile. Kronos has corraled them like sheep for the slaughter.

It's just him, Grover, Annabeth and Nico, fighting against Kronos vanguard - which is big, but not as strong as they are.

Kronos passes him without resistance - Ethan follows, but there's anger in his eyes - not for Percy, but for the monster he is leashed to. Alabaster is not there.

As soon as Kronos powers stop working on them, the four follow the titan - and some things never change, no matter the universe.

This time, it's Nico who falls because of Hera - it's her curse over all of her husband's bastards.

Ethan takes one look at Perseus, and they don't even need to fight. They have been friends for longer than they have been enemies - and they both loathe the gods, but Kronos is as much of an all-powerful controller being as any of the Olympians.

They battle against Kronos - Perseus has only his ax against his scyther - a true Underworld fight.

Ethan dies. And Perseus bloodlust consumes him - it clouds his eyes and he can only keep fighting.

"If... if we've had cabins... and they had thrones"

It's true, and more than ever, Perseus wishes Kronos wasn't such a bastard. He wouldn't bother killing the gods - but the titan is a way worse option.

"LUKE, PLEASE" It's Annabeth. He doesn't have her faith - she didn't saw his transformation. But he tries anyway because he loves Luke just as much as he hates Kronos.

"Luke, remember our summer" But his words are caught up in his throat when the titan throws him against the wall.

But the amalgamation of his friend and an all-powerful being looks confused, so props for his genius best friend.

Kronos shows them a rainbow message of Typhon - and that's where Perseus it's pretty sure he starts liking his father.

Because the Lord of the Dead opens up the earth and gets out in a black chariot guided by skeletal horses like a king. By his right side, is Persephone, in armor battle as a queen should be. By his left, is Demeter, who looks every single bit like the matron she is supposed to be.

Behind him, a hundred thousand dead roars. Charon is mounting Cerberus - and literal hell is unleashed upon the Father of Monsters.

The gods strike down Typhon, sending him back to be locked away - this time, in the depths of Tartarus instead of Mount Etna.

Kronos gets mad. Utterly, undoubtedly mad. He talks about burning Luke's body. Then he hurts Annabeth and breaks two promises in one fell swoop.

"Luke.... remember family" It's what Annabeth utters, but Perseus, already certain of their own demise, is crying now.

"That summer Luke, you promised to never hurt her again. You remember it? YOU PROMISED LUKE!!"

Annabeth's promise was already broken - he had hurt her, all those years ago, in Mt. Othrys. But the promise he made to Percy - that he would never hurt her again - is new and broken, in the river Styx no less.

Luke regains his own body, for a minute, and Perseus runs to him like a man in a desert with no water.

"Please, please tell me there's a way to undo this, Luke, please, please"

"There isn't one, Percy" And it's the first time he hears Luke call him Percy, Percy and not Perseus, in his own voice, in two years. Percy cries.

"We... we don't have much time, hellebore. Give me Annabeth's dagger. Before he... before he takes back"

Luke calls him hellebore and it makes him start crying all over again. He gives him the dagger - and Luke kills himself, taking Kronos out with him.

Luke doesn't need to ask if Percy has ever loved him - Percy kept loving Luke, one-sided as it was, even when Kronos was there.

He still crying over Luke's body when the gods arrive. Luke is dead. Ethan is dead. Silena is dead. Michael Yew is dead. Charles is dead.

He lost three of his best friends in two days. Ethan is dead. Luke is dead. Luke is dead.

Perseus can't stop crying. They take Luke's body away - but he can't stop. Annabeth explains what happened to the gods - most of it, anyway. Apollo says he is in shock - his father says he is a hero.

Perseus doesn't feel like a hero. Was this all worth it? Was it worth it the pain and the death and the suffering?

Persephone touches him - and he has no tears to cry anymore. She can't hug him here, but she'll do so later.

He stares at the walls, listening to his friends being awarded - compensated by their siblings and friends' deaths - with a blank stare. Perseus wants his mom.

They call for him. He raised his head but doesn't bother getting up. He just saved their asses - for the fifth time in a roll. He deserves to grieve.

They offer him immortality. A place between the gods.

He laughs. Zeus looks murderous, but he can't stop laughing.

"My apologies, but I have to refuse," he says. But in his mind, he is thinking about how could they even think he might want to sit between them and be an all-powerful being, be another god ignoring his children and messing with mortal lives while thousands die for him.

"Promise me, on the river Styx, that you'll give me the wish that I want."

They promise him, that if it's within their capabilities, they shall grant him his wish.

"I wish for every child at the age of twelve to be claimed. I wish for cabins in Camp Half-Blood, for every single minor god, and my own father. I wish for Calypso to be free, and to the demigods from the opposite side of this war to be given amnesty. It's not their fault. It's not any of our faults."

"You dare to-" Zeus begins, but Percy is really tired of Zeus.

"We fought your war, we won your battles. We, the unclaimed and rejected stowaways of Cabin 11. We, the children of minor and Underworld gods. We deserve respect. Just like my father deserves a throne, just like the minor gods deserve justice."

"Don't you fear us?" Athena asks, something weird shining in her eyes.

"I thought I would be dead today. At least if I die now, I'm dying for something I believe in."

It stays unsaid that he doesn't believe in them. The other demigods look at him worried - but he is not afraid of the gods.

They grant his wish. Some of them aren't happy with it, but they have to do it. He meets Calypso at the front gates of Olympus - and her smile can brighten the pits of Tartarus. He sees Alabaster talking with Lou Ellen - they are both crying.

He thinks it's the end - it's not. Thalia tells him Rachel left for Camp in her Pegasus - and his father has lift the curse, the Prophecy is gone, but he fears for his best friend.

Perseus is too tired for shadow travel - he does it anyway. He flickers, but anyway, he is too late.

It works. Rachel - his best friend - is the new Oracle. Someone jokes they can't be together anymore and Rachel lifts an eyebrow.

"We never were. Didn't you see the last few hours?" Well, he did out himself. Mostly - they might say it's just friendship, and he will hate the way they twist it. Luke wasn't a villain, and Perseus isn't a pure hero with a heart of gold.

Perseus is healing from lost love - and Annabeth is too. His crush on her was only a crush, he thinks - She is his best friend first and foremost. They cry together at the bonfire that burns away the shrouds of 43 demigods - from both sides - and 16 hunters of Artemis. Their souls all rest in Elysium now.

Alabaster comes back to Camp and helps his siblings to build the new Cabin for Hecate, full of spelled blocks and magic chimneys. Clovis and Tyene have their hands full with their own cabins - it doesn't help they keep getting sidetracked with naps.

Somehow, Nico, Thalia, and his bond over helping construct Cabin 13 - They are both way too invested in the goth vibe, mostly because Cabin 1 looks like a temple, and Cabin 3 looks like a beach cabin. And both of them are so over it.

Perseus doesn't want a goth cabin - he is fighting against the aesthetic for years - but sometimes, there are no arguments. His Cabin is made of black marble, and there are skulls everywhere, with torches shining with green fire. Outside, at least. Inside, it looks like Persephone's garden, with input from the queen herself. It's ready just shy of the end of summer vacation.

Rachel tells the next Great Prophecy. Perseus isn't such a positive person to think it won't affect him - he hopes at least it'll wait until he is done with High School.

That night, he dreams of the blonde boy again - it's his first night without nightmares since the battle. He has a scar in his lip, and his green eyes pierce Percy's soul. Perseus wonders if they'll ever meet, wonders if this boy is one of the Seven of the Prophecy.

But alas, Perseus lets it go. The summer is over - he is sixteen, somehow. He is alive and going to go back to his mortal life and his junior year, and grief. Not everything is fine - but eventually, it will be.

It's not the end. Not yet.

#percy jackson #percy #percy jackon and the olympians #alabaster torrington #au #ethan nakamura #grover underwood #heroes of olympus #luke castellan #jercy #jason grace #percy jackson son of hades #thalia grace daughter of poseidon #thalia grace #nico di angelo son of zeus #nico di angelo #clarisse la rue #rachel dare #persephone #silena beauregard #charles beckendorf #lukercy #percabeth #perachel #lee fletcher #will solace #annabeth chase #poc percy jackson #bi percy #nicercy

[purplesurveys]

1245

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella?  Oh you are just mean. Nutella is amazing as a filling or icing, but when it comes down to it I guess I look for peanut butter more often. I love both though.

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes?  Mashed. But baked potatoes are pretty good too; the only reason I didn’t pick it is that I don’t get to have it as often as I do mashed.

What is your oldest sibling’s middle name?  I’m the eldest sibling, but my sister, who comes after me, has Beatrice as her second name if that’s what you mean by middle name.

Do you like breadsticks?  Yes. The more cheesy-garlicky, the better.

What are your favorite things to spend money on?  Merch or food.

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten?  Puppy. Not the biggest fan of cats.

How old will you be on your next birthday?  24.

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people?  If it’s the combination of having to be around people I’m not too close with, like workmates, and I’m eating something that tends to be messy, like jjajangmyeon, then yeah I can definitely feel conscious.

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts?  I fell asleep from 11 PM to around 3 AM and when I woke up then I thought  “ugh, I fell asleep early again?”

What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody?  My vape pen constantly reminds me of Andi because they were the one who gave it to me.

Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic?  No.

Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one?  I did want to be one, at one point. It was all a matter of being stuck with the wrong crowd at the time lol.

Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried?  Probably with my sister when we were very young.

Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence?  Intelligence.

Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? I never have.

You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why?  A 1 or 2 TB hard drive. My phone has reached the stage where I’m starting to have to constantly delete shit so I don’t reach the maximum storage, so I need someplace to dump all my photos and videos in to free up my phone.

Honestly, have you ever danced naked?  Nope.

What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? I dunno...buy pirated movies? I didn’t get ‘caught’ since pirated movie stalls are widespread here anyway, so for the most part I’ve always been more concerned for them than I am for myself.

What is the home page on the computer you’re on?  Technically it’s supposed to be the Google home screen, but I have an extension that shows me my to-do list for the day.

Do you like to write poetry?  Nah, that’s always been my Achilles’ heel when it comes to writing.

Are your ears pierced?  Yup. Surprisingly enough they’ve never closed up despite never having worn earrings (clip-ons notwithstanding) in the last 13 years.

If so, were they pierced with a piercing gun, or with a sterile needle?  I’m not sure, since my mom had them pierced when I was a baby. I would guess piercing gun, though.

Do you wear makeup regularly? I never wear makeup.

Did you eat cereal for breakfast today?  I never have cereal unless I’m staying at hotels. It’s just never been something I look for.

When was the last time you tripped over something?  A box that was lying around in my room.

Any obsessive-compulsive tendencies?  I’ll sometimes get concerned with how many times I have to flick the switch of our hot water dispenser or open and close the refrigerator door before I feel completely satisfied...but I dunno if that counts.

Who was the last person you yelled at?  Technically...Angela? I was filming an unboxing video for a gift she randomly got me and I loved the gift so much I was yelling my excitement through the screen.

Why did you yell at them?  ^ That.

Favorite type of apple?  I don’t like fruits.

Ever seen live horse racing?  No, it’s not something that interests me.

How about live greyhound racing?  I don’t even know what that looks like.

What’s one thing, besides the obvious, that you couldn’t live without?  The arts, I guess. I need something to listen to, to watch, etc on a regular basis.

Have you ever touched a giraffe?  I don’t think so.

What does your mom call you?  Robyn, or the Filipino term parents use for their kids.

What stresses you out the most in life?  A particular client at work. We have a million campaigns going on for them at any given point so my life virtually revolves around that brand these days.

Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite?  Nope.

If you were pregnant, how would you tell the father? Well, that would depend on the circumstances. Did we want a baby? Was it a bad surprise, a happy surprise? I can't answer this with just one idea. < Yeah.

What’s the hardest level you can play on Guitar Hero?  If I’m using a Playstation controller, I can go Hard or Expert. But my finger coordination with the actual guitar controller is terrible and I fail most songs even at Easy.

What ever happened with you and your first boyfriend?  There was never any ‘boyfriend,’ but my first girlfriend and I have basically had a falling out and I haven’t talked to her in months, and I expect it to continue being that way.

What’s your favorite country song?  I don’t have any.

What is the worst thing a former boyfriend/girlfriend has done to you?  Putting her pride and anger first even when I’m obviously in a state of disstress or breakdown in front of her. That’s some emotional rollercoaster I’m glad I don’t have to deal with anymore.

What were you for Halloween last year?  Just Dora the Explorer again, which was a repeat from the year before that.

Are you feeling guilty for something?  I don’t think so; at least there isn’t anything I’m actively feeling guilty about at the moment.

Are you usually quiet or loud?  I think I’m in between? I’m pretty loud but I can space out at the most random moments hahaha.

How many hours do you spend on the computer a day?  This question always makes me wince at myself...I guess anywhere between 16-18 hours? The only time I put my laptop down is when I’m off to bed, but otherwise it’s constantly open.

What is the show that you watched when you were little, and you still do? I don’t think there is such a show.

Do your siblings text you?  Nope. We live under the same roof 24/7 so there’s been little need to text.

Do you want a small or big wedding?  Big.

Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth?  Yes, but that was when Google Earth was still super bare so I wasn’t able to see the actual house anyway, but just the general area where we’re located. I haven’t used Google Earth in years.

Who is your ex dating/talking to?  I don’t know and I hoooonestly could not care less.

Ever kissed someone who smokes?  Yep.

Does it take a lot for someone to annoy you?  Depends on my mood. I have my moments where it’s very easy for me to get irritated.

Do you own your own computer?  I mean it was bought for me, but I didn’t get it with money I earned.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings?  When my brother was starting to mature, my sister and I very very briefly experimented sharing a room, but it lasted like all of two weeks. My parents ultimately just transferred our balcony to a bedroom so that all three of us had our own rooms.

What noises in the room you’re in, do you hear at the moment?  An airplane is flying above me at the moment so I can hear its engine. I can also hear some crickets chirping and the faint barking of dogs.

Have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours?  Yup.

What’s the biggest upcoming event for you?  I guess my second vaccine dose is kinda big? It’s happening this Friday.

What do you typically order from Wendy’s?  I rarely get Wendy’s tbh, but when I do I usually go for their Baconator.

Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper?  No, it’s not something I would be into.

What do you love most about yourself? Continued the next day because I am terrible at taking a survey in one go. I like that I don’t hesitate to do or buy things for my loved ones, not even inwardly. I guess it’s because my family has always lived very practically, so I want to make up for that by spoiling my friends.

Have you ever received a hickey from the last person you kissed?  Yes.

What are you doing right now?  I am supposed to be at work but it’s a relatively quiet day, so I’m here. I do have my screen split between Tumblr and my emails though, so that I’d be able to see if new work will come in hahaha.

What’s bothering you right now?  Quiet work days always make me anxious because it makes me think if I’m forgetting about something crucial.

What was the last thing you drank?  I literally just took a sip of my coffee before moving on to this question.

Be honest, do you like people in general?  Depends on the situation, I think. Like when I go to concerts, I know I’m around people I share the same interests with, so there’s a sense of solidarity that goes with that. But when I’m like...I dunno, lining up to get my license renewed at a government office, I know people there are in a rush and tend to get rude, and that makes me feel a little bit overwhelmed. I don’t think this is something I can generalize.

Do you want your tongue pierced?  No. Lip I can consider, but I have to pass on tongue. 

Do you change your phone background a lot?  I do these days, yeah.

Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something?  Possibly.

Have you ever been strip searched?  I’ve been searched, but was never asked to strip.

Do you have a funny last name? Does anyone make fun of it?  No, it’s an ordinary surname.

Ever have a drug overdose? What did you OD on exactly?  Never.

Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? I get sick of people who call themselves bipolar, and of people who use ‘bipolar’ to describe someone else who just has your typical mood swings.

Describe your day so far in three words:  Business as usual.

What was the most stressful project you had so far/while in school? I was once designated as a leader for a science investigative project, which didn’t make sense because science was definitely not my strongest point. Needless to say it didn’t go well and I ended up being a terrible leader. Choose one- Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers:  Butterfinger, even though they’re a bitch to eat and chew.

Have you ever stepped in dog poop?  Maybe once or twice. It fortunately doesn’t happen a lot.

What was the last thing you spent money on?  I got Angela and Reena cheese tarts. The reason behind it was Jin held a VLIve last Monday and he had been eating egg tarts during the stream; and because I was happy to have watched my first Jin live, I got my friends cheese tarts hahaha. I don’t know a lot of places that sells good egg tarts so I settled for cheese tarts instead, which I think are better anyway.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed?  Yeah.

Is there a guy that knows a lot about you?  I guess Hans? We personally don’t get to have a lot of heart-to-heart exchanges, but considering how Angela’s my greatest confidante I’m sure she has shared bits of my life to him, which I don’t mind.

Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without?  I don’t really like answering this question anymore because the people that I’ve declared ‘for keeps’ have faded out of my life at some point. I’m a lot more guarded and self-preservation-y when it comes to this now.

Do you prefer Starbucks coffee or small cafe coffee?  Ooooh, both. I love coffee.

Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum?  No.

Do you enjoy being outdoors?  If the weather is nice, yes.

Do people tell you that you have an accent?  I mean I’ve been told my English is strong, but my accent in particular doesn’t really get noted.

Do you enjoy watching fireworks on the 4th of July?  I don’t celebrate that.

What’re some unspeakable subjects for you?  I don’t like talking about my brother. Otherwise I am pretty open about everything.

Is there anyone you would take a bullet for?  Several people come to mind.

Do you enjoy tanning?  If I’m at the beach, sure. It’s honestly not something I have to constantly keep up with, though, since I’m already naturally tan enough. Are you a virgin?  No.

Who’s your celebrity crush?  Taehyung :(

Did or do you get good grades in English class?  I always got pretty good grades in English.

What part of your body are you self-conscious about?  Teeth, and my legs sometimes.

Are you expected to help fix Thanksgiving dinner?  I don’t celebrate that.

Have you ever lost anyone close to cancer?  Yes.

Do you personally know anyone who is transgender?  Yes.

When was the last time you got a shot?  Last month, then I’m getting my second dose tomorrow.

#survey #surveys

[robinisaghost]

animatic ideas :0 (ramble away, i would love to hear them!!)

mk thank you for enabling me, i will now be yelling

anyway

this is gonna be so obnoxiously long i am so sorry

can you add read more's on asks? eeeekkkk because this got so damn long lmao

mild dsmp spoilers obviously

this is the playlist, by the way

-im sorry boris (wilbur soot)

i think it would work really well with mmm slightly post lmanburg niki. andby slightly i mean. well when she leaves (that is the whole thing of the song gdfjkhgsdf) also side note at like 1 minute 11 on that song theres a discord notification really subtly in the background and it makes me paranoid every time i hear it. anyway god its such a nice song. even for just like. the end of lmanburg. not necesarily paired with a character, just the sense of leaving a place that was so highly populated before it got blown up twice and was like. the main part of the smp. yeah. anyway also the lines "they'll knock down the pubs before helping you...they'll let you jump under trains before helping you" yeah those four lines have big niki vibes but also i think the song could work well with exile tommy or actually even with the finale when tubbo is about to sacrifice himself? mmmmm yeah

-this is home (cavetown)

mmmm got exile tommy vibes innit. a lot of these have exile tommy vibes tbf i just like sad songs and also exile tommy. plus the song has a lot of like. the message is sort of like. changing yourself to appeal to others? like with "ill cut my hair to make you stare" but also the repeated thing of "ill figure out a way to get us out of here" which is clearly the main character of the song trying to help everyone when they are clearly not in a good way themself. yeah thats got big tommy vibes in general tbh but more like. pre finale tommy. i think he got a bit more independant after that.

-soldier poet king (the oh hellos)

ok this is self explanatory and has been done to death already but d a m n its kinda funky. anyway i had thoughts and actually started this but then lost motivation and deleted it all lmaooo. the only proof of its existance is a shitty storyboard in my draw which will hopefully never see the light of day again (unless anyone wants to see it :eyes:) anyway i had the thought of like. sbi? so soldier techno poet wilbur and king tommy. but tbf tommy and techno are kinda interchangeable with that, cos while techno is obviously the better fighter, tommy is used a lot, especially in lmanberg era and also i think he probably will be now that wilburs back

-pyjama pants (cavetown)

ok so i honestly dont remember why this is on the playlist but tbf this could go well with a bunch of characters. thinking like. phil and wilbur? or wil and tommy, or tubbo and ranboo are two that like. i know for a fact that i did not put the song on the playlist specifically for them but god thinking about it now it works so well with them

-boys will be bugs (cavetown)

OH BOY THERES A LOT OF CAVETOWN ON HERE HUH (i feel like that probably says something about me but shhhhhh we dont need to talk about that) ANYWAY

I think this could probably work really well with tommy? because of the whole like. trying really hard to come across as not caring about others, but really being like. very vunerable. but at the same time it could go really well with wilbur for the same reasons. also the song fucks ok cant deny it. to be fair i think it works better with tommy, because he's younger and also he really likes bugs (unless i am mistaken) which is just a cool coincidence but still)

-brother (kodaline)

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK THIS WORKS SO WELL WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS AND IS ALSO ***SO ANGSTY*** WHAT

anyway

i added it because of tommy and tubbo because holy shit, but also it could work very very well with wilbur and tommy, techno and wilbur, probably techno and tommy, and oh my god i just thought of this but this would work so well with phil and techno!!!! but yeah i originally thought tommy and tubbo because i thought it was a funny coincidence with exile tommy waking up underwater, and theres a line that says "if you were drowned at sea, id give you my lungs so you could breathe" and like. just thinking about the compasses especially. me gusta.

-feel better (penelope scott)

fundy. that is all.

no ok this works well with fundy but also probably karl sapnap and quackity, and also very much wilbur, like it works well with both. just mainly fundy idk why its got big fundy vibes tho. very poggers.

-as the world caves in (matt maltese)

ok but like this goes very very well with the explosions of lamberg. either of them. i think probably the first one is better, but i think it goes well with both. probably the first one, because it was way more emotional i think? cos it was the first time that their homes had been destroyed and everything, but also because it was so personal, because wilbur was the one who did it. i think that also it would work well if it was set during the explosion but also focussed on different facets? so like. one bit about wilburs perspective, one bit about tommys, one about phils, one about fundys maybe? idk just a bunch of lmaburg citizens' povs for this. its good. as the world caves in is a song that can be so gender tbh.

-do you hear the people sing? (les mis)

obvious obvious obvious...... but like..... also tbh it goes well with a bunch of things. like, mmmmm wilbur in pogtopia. the butcher army. lmaburg independance war (obviously ghdskj) but yeah. also this song just goes so hard like b r u h

-wolf in sheeps clothing (set it off, william beckett)

SO MANY OF THESE ARE LIKE. PRETTY OBVIOUS IF YOUVE HEARD THE SONG

but yeah. it would go so well with like. well any betrayal basically. so eret, from tommys pov maybe, or about wilbur from nikis pov, or wilbur from anyone pov tbf, or quackity from charlie/purpled/foolish/sams pov, or sam from tommys pov, really it works well with so many people which says a lot about the characters tbh but shhhhhhhhhhhh

-need you here (idkhow)

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

mk mk mk mk FUNDY AND WILBUR THO

like b r u h that works so well with them

also i started this one as well but didnt like it, theres a story board in my draw as well for it because like. oh my god its such a good idea i just am shit at animating and don't have a decent enough program :')

also also

the line "daddy has to go, and that makes me sad, but daddy will always come back, he promised" fuckkkkkk that works so well with like. say for example, idk, when they're celebrating schlatts death and wilbur leaves to press the button? the sheer fucking angst of that is enough to kill any one person istg that is in fact the entire reason why i started the animatic in the first place. just that line. also all the lines sung by the child voice. fuckin angsty as hell. also ust generally a banging song, as is every idkhow song

-green (cavetown)

another cavetown song huh. ok sure.

mk so wilbur and sally and fundy. like. for a start, the imagry of a fish at the start? boom sally.

anyway the lines "you looked so good in green, i hope you're well, and you look so good with him, (schlatt ig?) and I'm proud of you still (wilburrrr and fundyyyy) i miss your perfect teeth, i was too blunt, i hope you feel happy, that's all I want"

FUCKKKK

the whole song is about missing someone you used to love and only hoping the best for them!!!! and wishing that they are happy and safe!!!!!!!!!!! and hoping they still think about you!!!!! but even if they dont its fine because all you want is for them to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-achilles come down (gang of youths)

OK I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANGSTIER

so like. tw suicide but thats what the entire song is about and bing bang boom i just think it works so so so so so so so well with not only exile tommy (who obviously did try to kill himself) but also wilbur in a slightly more metaphorical way? so like. his self destructive habits leading him to a point where he had no choice other than to kill himself and to take his country down with him. and its all about other characters trying to help them and persuade them not to but also near the end there is a second voice trying to persuade them to go along with it, which im thinking like. if its wilbur, either dream or maybe just himself. his own brain persuading him to continue down the path that would inevitably lead to his and his countries destruction. also it works well with schlatt for the same reasons, except he doesnt want to die. maybe (since the song is so goddamn long) like. one verse for tommy one for wilbur and one for schlatt? dead gang poggg but also like. the verses cover fairly different things which work with one character but not so much the others, for example the first verse would be tommy because its mainly about persuading the person to not kill themself (which tommy did himself but shhh) the second for schlatt because its literally about drinking and smoking away your problems, and the third for wilbur since its more of a fight between the "good" and the "bad" sides, which is obviously what wilbur was experiencing. also obviously i have a soft spot for this song because its string instruments and french, basically my favourite combination ever (also i like his voice idfk lmao)

ANYWAY THATS ALL THE SONGS ON THERE SO FAR

i literally thought of another song while i was in the shower today but i dont remember which it was but a n y w a y the playlist will most definitely be getting longer, especially since there are so many more songs that are good for this but i just havent added them yet lmao. anyway ive been writing this for like an hour gsdfjhgdhfsg but still oh my god this was fun to write

#long post #tw suicide #only a mention at the end but still gotta be safe :) #dsmp #dreamsmp #dsmp animatics #robin talks #ask #thank you so much for the ask tho cos like. i dont wanna be annoying or anything? but also like. i really wanted to talk about this gsdfkjg #god i hope the read more worked or this is gonna be annoying to everyone ever #its fine probably maybe not really

[t100ficrecsblog]

an interview with @ravenreyes-0g (she/hers)

what are you working on right now? I'm working on both my Bellarke fic for BLM and a personal fantasy story that I've written and rewritten from the beginning to about 5000000 times because my ideas keep changing. My Bellarke fic is a modern day COVID AU that is also the longest I've ever done so it's been taking a minute to finish! :) 

what’s something you’d like to write one day? A YA either historical fiction or realistic fiction LGBTQ+ romance. I have  a ton of ideas for plots, but I haven’t quite gotten the chance to sit down and try to plot them out. For historical fiction, I’m very interested in the 1900-1950s era, especially the Roaring 20s and WWI/II so I’d most likely set it there! I’m all in for the angsty romance, but I'd definitely want to end it on a happy note (unlike my current fantasy work) and I’m really looking forward to getting the chance to write a character driven story that doesn’t focus so much on heavy plot elements - something I can’t do as much in a fantasy setting!

what is the fanwork you’re most proud of? This one is actually pretty hard considering how my writing style has developed since I started writing fanfics. But if I had to choose, I’d probably say my FirstPrince (Alex/Henry from Red, White, and Royal Blue) fic on Ao3 called To Love Another Is to Cherish Life Itself. The title is a bit dramatic but basically it is an angsty/fluffy one-shot that I wrote really late one night and did minimal edits to before posting. It definitely feels like the most in character and honest fic I’ve ever done, and it broke my heart to write about some of the darker stuff, but in the end I’m pretty proud of it! 

why did you first start writing fic? Well, I’ve been writing fanfics since I was probably 10 or 11 years old (I had PJO phase that spanned close to a decade and I’m still not totally over it 😂) but I started publishing work on Wattpad literally the night I turned 13. That was actually my first Bellarke/the 100 fic! It started out as my predictions for season 5 and then evolved into a fix-it fic for everything I didn’t like about the season. I’ve abandoned it for almost two years, but I’m slowly coming back to it so...slow updates y’all :)

what frustrates you most about fic writing? Everything! Just kidding - I love fic writing! But if I had to choose, probably two main things tho. 1) Creating a plot for a long term fic - I’m sooooo bad at it because I always feel like I’m writing too much in line with the actual show/book/movie and it feels like copying. 2) Making sure that I stay honest to the character I’m writing about. I have a huge tendency to write my fics (ESPECIALLY my one-shots) from the POV of the character who was not the main character in the original thing (like my POV for my RWRB fic is Henry, the love interest of Alex/other main character). This means that the only look inside their head that we’ve gotten has been through the eyes of the main character - which can obviously be biased. I try to stay as honest as I can to my interpretation of the character drawn directly from the text - but sometimes that means that I can’t include scenes that I want to because it feels off/out of character and that’s always disappointing. (also dialogue is just...something I really need to work on)

what are your top five songs right now? Ahhh see it changes on my day/mood but right now it’s probably

1. The Last Great American Dynasty - Taylor Swift 2. The Garden - Dua Lipa 3. Mirrorball - Taylor Swift 4. Icarus - Emma Blackery 5. Betty - Taylor Swift 

(taylor really blessed us with folklore...I’m in love)

what are your inspirations? Ahhh - there are many. First and foremost, The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. It’s my favorite book for so many reasons, but it teaches me so much about writing and character development. Also Liesel and Rudy melt my heart every time. I also love all the songs listed above for inspiration, and I listen to I Get To Love You by Ruelle (it’s the Malec wedding song for any Shadowhuners fans out there!) whenever I write a really emotionally intense romantic scene. If you’re looking for amazing fic recs, I highly recommend all of HMS-Chill’s works (multi fandoms), clarkesbell, and DracoWillHearAboutThis on Ao3. Though not all of them write Bellarke/the 100, if you are in any of their fic fandoms, I highly recommend checking them out because they are fantastic writers!

what first attracted you to Bellarke? what attracts you now? Honestly? #1 - their development. I love enemies to lovers with my whole heart, but I honestly didn’t see Bellarke as romantic until the 2x05 hug where I was just hit with a wave of OMG THEY BELONG TOGETHER!!! Seriously, though, the fact that they go from enemies, to grudging allies, to co-leaders, to partners, to friends, to best friends, to soulmates just makes my heart go !!!! - Also they have insane chemistry, and that certainly doesn’t hurt. What attracts me to them now is much the same, but also how much they care about each other. They’d go to the ends of the earth to save one another, and it just blows me away how powerful their screen time is, even when their scenes together have become so rare. I also don’t thinkI’m ever getting over 6x10. I swear my heart actually stopped beating when I watched it live the first time. 

BESIDES Bellarke, what character or pairing do you like best on t100? Ha! Umm, I actually really like Murven, both platonically and romantically. Their journey might not be as well developed as Bellarke’s but it is still a powerful one hinging on love and forgiveness. I love how Lindsey/Richard play off of each other on screen - it’s such a joy to watch! I’ve also loved the Octavia/Indra dynamic, but it’s kinda been tabled in recent seasons which is sad :(

why did you decide to start writing for bellarkefic-for-blm? Two reasons - 1) I wanted to do everything I could for BLM and it was so amazing that I could do that, and write works for my favorite show! 2) I was super curious about the prompts people would send in. My work right now is a modern day AU COVID fic where Bellamy and Clarke have to share a room together in an overcrowded hospital until one day Clarke disappears. It’s so different than what I usually write - bc I almost always write canon compliant/in universe fics - so it’s a nice challenge!

what’s your writing process like? Honestly it depends. For long/multi-chapter fics I try to plan out as much of it as I can, characters, plot, important moments, etc - even though I am not very good at planning. But for one-shots I tend to go off of emotion or feelings. Usually when I write one-shots, it’s because a particular line or moment in a book/movie/show really spoke out to me, and spurred this idea in my head. I always start with the line I want to get to at the heart of the fic and then write around it from there. I am definitely much more of a panster than a planner- which is why one-shots work much better for me!

what are some things you’d like to recommend? 1. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. Also, All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven, The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee, Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston, The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz. 2. Musicals! They can be amazing inspiration - my favorites are Les Mis, Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Six, Everybody’s Talking About Jamie, Hadestown, Anastasia, Island Song, Newsies, & Tuck Everlasting! 3. TV Shows besides The 100 - Anne with an E, Shadowhunters (just pretend you haven’t read the books), French SKAM, Love Victor, HSMTMTS, Merlin, Lucifer, I think I’m just listing fandoms at this point 😂

Also, almost any Taylor Swift, Troye Sivan, Conan Gray, Dua Lipa, Emma Blackery or Harry Styles songs are amazing!

My handle is the same for everything - Twitter, Tumblr, Ao3, Wattpad (if anyone still uses that anymore), etc (RavenReyes0G). I also run a book review blog on Instagram which is @betweenthepagesandtea, so feel free to check that out too! Request a fic written by her via @bellarkefic-for-blm!

#bellarkefic4blm #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #bellarkefics for blm interview

[saxifactumterritum]

Hi! (Im the anon about TKA, anime anon was someone different so you have more than a friendly anon 😊).

Oh oh I've read lynne-monstr amazing writing! But tbh Im too shy to message them 🙈

Love O2O is good fluff content! Main couple doesn't break up, the tackle problems together and are overall cute. Action/Game scenes can be a bit cringey compared to TKA but if you want something soft and that won't hurt your feelings its a good show to watch.

My fav book character? Ahh I dunno, I like the Black Dagger Brotherhood (Rhage and Vicious are my favorite) but those are very nsfw but a more PG-13 vibe I really like the Percy Jackson series. I really like Nico and Reyna's characters (not together, I love Nico and Will as a ship, and Reyna and Nico as a friendship).

My brain is bit of a shitshow and delivers black holes like a cat putting dead mice in my wellies as a surprise to step on. Sometimes things fall into these gifted holes. This ask kinda fell into a hole.

Lynne is very nice, not scary at all. I'm not shy exactly, but I didn't like... Actively, voluntarily speak to anyone until I was 9 or 10. My rules of thumb for talking are 'people who make stuff always want to hear I like it' and 'will it hurt me if they ignore it or haven't got time?' and 'will it hurt them to receive a message?'.

Totally got to email with some awesome amazing academics during my breif forray into post grad research with these rules. People can be so nice!

Actaully though I think I ended up talking to Lynne cus I was cross she dragged me into the untamed, and I was like THIS IS NOT OK!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 best choice. She told me to watch tka to break up the weeping.

I haven't read the black dagger brotherhood. Maybe I'll look it up. My friend's read Percy Jackson so I'm aware of its exxistance, but I haven't read that either. I do like myth and fairytale retllings, I just read Gingerbread by Helen Oyeyemi which was amazing. Nothing like Percy Jackson I don't think, other than the use of fairytale/myth. We read the Song of Achilles for bookclub, I took right against that haha! I know people love it but I like my Greek myths bloody and everyone is an arsehole.

I still didn't find a new fandom /character :(

PSA if I ever don't answer an ask, please feel free to give my inbox a kick, my memory is for shit and tumblr doesn't really make it obvious when I have an ask

#Nice people #I should make an ask tag so ppl can block it #Then I'll feel less bad abt rambling answers or randomness #Ask #Lol that's easy I'll do that #Damn it's a simile not a metaphor. I can't be bothered to fic the tag. Oh well

[aradeia]

hi! so i’ve been getting into greek plays (i’m currently reading anne carson’s translations) but where do i go from here? i know there’s a lot of novels and literature based on these stories, so do you have any recommendations for what i should read? or like other things to look into as well? sorry if what i’m saying doesn’t make sense i’m kinda lost rn!

Hello! Sorry for taking a thousand years to reply to this! I’m so bad at answering asks in a timely manner...

I’ve been reading a lot of Greek plays recently too! In college, I really focused on the Rome side of the Classics department, so I never really encountered the plays until now.

The first thing I’d recommend is to read different translations! This post listing various translations of that one Orestes quote shows how differently every translator presents the scene. You’ll get something new every time. I love Anne Carson’s translations too, but she sometimes takes liberties with the text (like many translators do), so you’ll probably come away with different questions when you read different translations, and that’s part of the fun!

Translations that were popular with my professors in college were the University of Chicago compilations that were edited by David Grene and Richard Lattimore. The Oxford University Press translations were sometimes assigned too (they have Cycladic figurines on the covers). I like the Oxford ones because you just get the one play (a lot of translations compile a bunch of plays together and sometimes it’s nice to just have the one). Not sure if these editions are available where you are, but if so, check them out!

Also, nothing is written in a vacuum, so it might also be helpful to study the events that were going on while the plays were being written. Considering the plays’ historical contexts may give you a different understanding of the stories Aiskhylos, Sophokles, and Euripides were writing.

And on that note, looking into earlier and later interpretations of the plays’ stories may be interesting too. What does the Odyssey have to say about Orestes versus what the playwrights have to say? How do 6th century BCE depictions of Dionysus on pottery compare to the god we see in the Bakkhai? Look for these stories in other ancient media (poetry, philosophy, pottery, etc.) across different times and places, and you may learn a little more about the ancient Greek peoples engaging with them.

(Side note: Sometimes later pottery depicts scenes from the plays. I love it when pottery depicts scenes from plays that have sadly been lost to us).

Moving onto modern interpretations. Strangely enough, I can’t think of too many novels based on the plays. I feel like a lot of popular fiction inspired by Greek myth focuses on the Trojan War (like The Song of Achilles or the countless novels about Helen). I know fewer novels or interpretations about The Theban Cycle or the Oresteia.

Here are some modern interpretations about Greek mythology that aren’t about the Trojan War:

Jocasta by Victoria Grossack & Alice Underwood. This one does a lot of historicizing the myth. So, you get to learn a lot about the governing of a Bronze Age Greek city, which I find pretty interesting, but it may not be everybody’s jam. Also, I thought Creon’s characterization was really interesting in this book.

Antigone & Creon: Guardians of Thebes (also) by Victoria Grossack & Alice Underwood. The sequel to Jocasta.

A Dream of Passion (1978): This is a Greek movie about an actress who’s been cast as Medea in a production of the Euripides play. Struggling to capture the character, the actress begins meeting with an American woman imprisoned for murdering her children. We watched this movie in my class on Medea last year and I’m still thinking about it.

Medea edited by J. Clauss and S. Johnston. This is a collection of essays on the different Medeas that appear in ancient Greek and Roman literature. It was the assigned textbook for my Medea class, but none of us were super wild about it (professor included). Still, it’s an interesting idea for a book, so it may be worth looking at.

Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays by Christa Woolf. I haven’t had the chance to look at this one myself, but it was recommended to me by someone on here and it has pretty good reviews on GoodReads.

Dreams of Clytemnestra (I Sogni di Clitemnestra) by Dacia Maraini and translated by Tim Vode. Similarly, I haven’t read this one myself, but I see it quoted all over tumblr. There was one quote from it that made me want to get a copy.

If anyone else has other modern interpretations that they know of, feel free to add on! 

[theclaravoyant]

AN ~ This fic is called “Catharsis” not just on the characters’ behalves, but on mine. I am planning another more nuanced, narrative-integrated exploration of some of these themes but in the moment when I started writing this I kinda Went Off at biphobia. Kevin was the vessel for my protectiveness... and Julia Diaz unfortunately copped the unflattering role of Every I’m-Not-Homophobic-But person I’ve ever met. This is for you grandma :)))))

NOW ON AO3 (~2400wd)

Warnings: This fic has a happy/uplifting ending (*jake peralta voice* I CATHARTED) but it does deal with themes of homophobia and biphobia, including a reference to AIDS. If you would like to know more detail about the fic’s contents before diving in, message me and I’m happy to chat.

Prompt: 4. “I know you didn’t ask for this.”

Fandom: Brooklyn 99 - featuring Rosa Diaz, Kevin Cozner, Julia Diaz, Jake Peralta, with background Holt x Kevin and Rosa x Jocelyn. 

Rated: T

Tags: Platonic Relationships, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, Biphobia, AIDS reference.

-

Catharsis

“Rosa?”

She knew that voice. She ignored it.

“Rosa, mi niña…”

She glared at her report. Corrected a typo with an aggressive stab at the keyboard.

“Uh, excuse me, Detective Diaz?”

She gritted her teeth, and forced her lips into a wide twist on a hospitable smile. In an overly sweet tone that bristled for all to hear, she invited –

“Detective Peralta, can you assist Mrs Diaz please?”

“Uhh. Sure.”

Jake looked uncertainly between Rosa and her mother, but stepped forward. Rosa knew when she needed protecting and if this was one of those times then he would offer what he could. He couldn’t imagine what she was going through, after she and her mother had tried to talk about it again and had come to another explosive loggerhead. Still, he was not too sure of his place in all this. He wanted to give Julia a good scolding, but given that she was Rosa’s mother it probably wouldn’t be intimidating in the slightest by comparison. Plus, he had to remind himself, it was probably not his place. Rosa could scold her own mother. And now he was getting side-tracked.

“How can I help you, Mrs Diaz?”

Fortunately, the fact that Julia was still very keen on watching her daughter and apparently cared very little about Jake’s question, or presence at all, became side-tracked all on its own when the elevator doors opened and the newly-demoted Officer Holt arrived back from lunch with Kevin. It was not exactly a daily occurrence, but not irregular around these parts; still, the squad usually would have clamoured all over them for the day’s instalment of juicy wedding-planning gossip were it not for the never-before-seen Diaz family throwdown emanating a distracting amount of tension in the middle of the room.

At first the newcomers were unfazed, and Kevin opened the gate to the bull pen and gestured – with an arm full of flowers and a tiny but glowing smile - for Raymond to proceed him through. They would have happily continued in this distracted bliss, letting the team resolve whatever drama was going down, were it not for the fact that the lilies in Kevin’s arms and the slightest brush of his hand against Raymond’s arm as he passed made the two of them suddenly relevant to said drama.

It started small, just a little – Jake would have had to call it a wince, from Julia. She kind of, curled up her nose a bit, and Jake was reminded of the time he’d punched his former literary hero in the face.

Do not. Punch. Rosa’s. Mother, he commanded of himself, and of course he wasn’t going to, but after dinner and games night and the fight about Jocelyn and knowing the reason for no cop talk at parties and seeing how things like that sneer infected the lives of his friends, he couldn’t just stand there, and so it slipped out – his place or not -

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Julia baulked. “I just don’t think it’s appropriate for a workplace, that’s all.”

“What?” Jake frowned. Why did this keep surprising him?

“What?”

Rosa’s version was not so much confused, as cold. It was sharp – near ruthless. All the fear and pain and seething she had felt etched into her these past few months she spat into her words as she got up from her desk and stalked around it, closer to her mother.

“They’re coming back from a date,” she growled. “Kevin is Holt’s husband. They’ve been together for thirty years.”

Julia at least had the sense to look impressed by this, which quelled the biting fury and the stinging sense of rejection inside Rosa, if only a little. She shouldn’t need to shove wholesome couple after wholesome couple down her mother’s throat for her to get it, but at least it was something. At least it was something. She swallowed, and prayed that this would be over quickly. Of course, it wouldn’t. Not least because the next thing her mother said made her want to start digging a pit to the centre of the earth and never return.

“Well, that makes sense, dear. They were probably the only two left.”

“Ex-cuse me?” Holt interjected.

“Mom, oh my god,” Rosa protested, her stomach churning.

“IIIII don’t understand enough about what’s going on here to be standing where I’m standing,” Jake babbled, because he’d somehow ended up in an uncomfortably prominent position in a very tense, angry circle of Strong Feelings. He scurried out of the way, back behind some desks, and half expected Holt and Rosa to leap into the space he’d left and go after Julia like it was some kind of cage match.

But no.

It was Kevin.

Cool, calm, collected Kevin who was just starting to bristle around the edges and who had a sharpness to his glare, and to his tongue, that anyone in the room besides perhaps Holt would be hard pressed to say they’d ever seen in him before. Jake had. When they were being hunted by Sean Murphy, and Kevin had been trying and failing to protect his husband.

“Excuse me,” he said. “Mrs – Diaz, is it?”

She knew she was in for something, but nodded.

“I’m sure you understand that I don’t appreciate your making light of my relationship,” he continued. “Nor of a very serious disease that took several of Raymond’s and my friends away from us a very young age. Many younger, if I may point out, than Detective Diaz there.”

“I’m so sorry,” Julia apologised, and it could not be said that any part of that was faked. She just hadn’t thought of it quite like that. But the thought of her little girl succumbing to such a horrible disease only made her throat close up and her fears feel more prickly and urgent and intense. “I didn’t mean any offence. You can’t choose who you are.”

“Perhaps not,” Kevin rebutted, “but if I could, I like to believe that I would choose Raymond every time, and he me.”

Julia blinked. “You wouldn’t want to have a family?”

“Raymond is my family.”

“But… wouldn’t it be easier… I mean, if you liked both, wouldn’t being with a woman be easier?”

“Not always. For example, not all women would feel comfortable with the fact that I also enjoyed the company of men.”

There was a beat of eye contact between them, and Julia cleared her throat.

“…Well,” she said, somewhat quieter this time. “You wouldn’t have to tell anyone.”

Rosa wrapped her arms around herself, under the guise of crossed arms. The mask of irritation she had put up began to crack as she replayed the argument with her mother in her mind. It was Jocelyn that her mother couldn’t take seriously; it was always she’s a nice girl, but, like Rosa failed to grasped the concept of settling down. It was always nice, always compliments, so it was hard to explain how much it hurt. Few people in the room knew how that felt. Jake, at least, took note of the tears that were starting to burn her eyes, and shuffled a little closer to her. He was still a whole desk away but somehow she breathed a little easier at that.

Then Kevin met her eyes.

He had been about to turn back; to retreat from a conversation that was deeply uncomfortable and that might not be his place. He wanted nothing more in this moment than to shut himself in Raymond’s office – or even better, their home – and forget he’d ever poked this particular bear.

Then, across the circle, he’d seen her.

He’d seen Rosa, and her arms across her chest, the sheen of tears in her eyes as she tried to look neither away from, nor directly at the scene in front of her.

In her, he saw himself, in church, as a boy. He saw himself, in class, as a student, learning about Achilles and Patroclus and knowing he couldn’t say what he was thinking. He saw himself at his brother’s wedding, looking out at the crowd of people that had gathered to celebrate and wondering – knowing, at the time, or so it had felt – that such a crowd would never turn out for him.

And perhaps it was the fact that he and Raymond had just come back from booking the florist for a ceremony he’d once thought impossible, that sent a pain careering through Kevin’s chest like an arrow. It certainly did not help matters that they’d just started putting together the guest list and seating chart for the wedding, and his father was not on it. And worst of all, was the acute sense of bitterness that he remembered all too well, that had tainted his father’s last breath, when he had told Kevin that he loved him for the first, the last, and the only time since the day he’d come out.

He had tears in his eyes by the time he turned his attention back to Julia. She glanced between him, and over her shoulder at Rosa. There was something between these two, that much she understood. Could the gay thing really run that deep?

“Mrs Diaz,” Kevin said, and it was clearly taking a lot to keep his voice steady. Julia turned back to him, solemn and intrigued as he took a deep breath and spoke – not only on his own behalf, but on her daughter’s as well.

“I know you didn’t ask for this,” he said. “But your daughter is trying to share something with you that is very important to her. She is trying the best she can to share her life with you. It might be difficult to understand but please, please believe that the love you feel for your husband – that is the same love she is capable of feeling. Maybe for a woman. Maybe even for Jocelyn. That’s all she’s trying to tell you. And you should listen. And you should treasure her with all your heart. Because I know for a fact how it feels when that revelation comes too late.”

He let it land, and all of a sudden his knees felt weak beneath him. He marched past Raymond and out of the bull pen into the lift before the shock of what he’d just done could wear off enough to collapse him.

The others watched him go: most were baffled by his unusually vivid emotiveness, but Rosa for one was grateful. Jake hugged himself a little tighter; protectiveness over his friends warring with crappy-dad sympathy to make one super uncomfortable feelings-cocktail. Julia was a little hurt, a little stunned, a little intrigued. Holt, as per usual, took the unusual turn of events in his stride. He held up a wrist and explained:

“Kevin’s father gave me this watch the day he died. After twenty-two years of not tolerating my presence in his home, he apologised, and he wished us luck.” Luck. He snorted. “My father died when I was younger, before I met Kevin, but my mother has always loved and supported me - every part of me, and of the two of us – and believe me when I say I would not be where I am without that love and support. Do not underestimate your power.”

Julia nodded. Maybe, just maybe, it was starting to sink in.

“I know you love your daughter very much, Mrs Diaz,” Holt continued, a little more gently now – but only a little - “and she loves you. It would be a shame to let that go to waste. But I’m sure you know that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m needed elsewhere.”

He gave Julia a pointed stare before exiting the bull pen to track down and comfort Kevin.

Julia took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. If nothing else, it was comforting to know that her daughter had a very protective group of friends and colleagues. And the passion with which they all spoke about each other. And the watch…

When Rosa had walked out on her, Julia had feared for just a second, that her daughter might never speak to her again. It had been one of the most frightening moments of her life, and though it had passed blissfully quickly at the time, she couldn’t help but reflect on it now. And on Holt’s words. And on the gaping wounds their arguments seemed to leave in her. She was only trying to love her daughter, to want what was best for her. But if she stayed on this path, this dark future of bitterness and grief, how could that possibly be better? Wouldn’t she prefer to see her daughter carry herself with pride, smile at the one she loved, open the door for them and carry the bouquet they’d presented her and brush arms with subtle love on their return from a lunch date?

Julia turned to face her daughter, to find her midway through wiping tears from her face.

“I love you, mi niña,” she whispered. “And if Jocelyn makes you happy – then I am happy for you. And I’m going to try harder to understand.”

“Okay,” Rosa said, her voice wobbling dangerously. She cleared her throat. “And yeah. Jocelyn does make me happy. I dunno about marrying her yet but. You know. We’ll see I guess.”

Short sentences. Still not quite crying. Nailing it.

Fortunately, that was part of her daughter that her mother did understand, or at least was used to. She did not push Rosa for more, simply picked up her handbag.

“I got a new extension to Trivial Pursuit,” she said. “Your father and I would love to play it this Friday if you’re available. Bring your friends, of course - or perhaps… Jocelyn?”

Sick and dizzy as she felt at the barrage of emotion, Rosa’s stomach flipped. She was lucky she was not a naturally smiley person, or she might just have given herself away because all of a sudden her heart was screaming IT’S ALL I EVER WANTED, which was of course, an exaggeration, but after months and months of the most awful tension of her life it was like falling away like a mudslide. Is this what relief felt like?

“I’ll think about it,” she said.

Julia nodded, and took her leave.

#fictober19 #rosa diaz #kevin cozner #brooklyn 99 #b99fic #holt x kevin #rosa x jocelyn #b99squad #clara's fic tag #homophobia #biphobia