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austinsastrology8991 · 10 months

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Secrets from > PLUTO < that he told me

Pluto is dark. And its hard to understand him. He is your shadow; he hides from you and you hide from him. But your both watching each other very closely >

> 1 > The brighter something is > The darker the shadow. You cannot expel darkness, you can only accept it. Evil things exist and they always will. NO matter how hard you try to remove something with 'evil eye' or try to fight the good fight; whatever your fighting will always exist and the ever prevailing fight of; 'good vs evil' always will prevail. But everyone seems to forget that the darkness resides in everyone as much as their light does too.

> 2 > Rules don't exist; but we think they do. Rules funnel everyone in similar directions > When you see a rule you are forced to go in certain directions in order to avoid 'breaking the rules' but by not breaking the rules you are 'following the rules' and this makes you go in certain calculated directions (set up by people in power/social constructs) in order to avoid trouble. Or out of frustration you purposefully break them; so rules have a much greater pull on all of us then we all want to give them credit for. Also the mere concept of a law or principle defining how we must live; makes us all compromise into the laws of that are governing us. And thus; we are all products of our environments; of the rules we were forced to obey. Social constructs, government laws, or issues of any sort affect your free will, and whilst you can do whatever you want; there are many punishments awaiting you, which inevitably will affect your overall happiness/contentment because when you thought you could do anything; you realise you are very restricted and you compromise far more often than what you would like to admit.

> 3 > The more you front; the more your showing us who you are > When it comes down to it its actually very difficult to fool anyone. You may have the hang of it; but if you meet someone who also knows how to fool others; you will both stick out like a sore thumb to each other. And well once the jig is up; and the perception of yourself falls as it always does. You will feel like a pathetic person, and so it is almost always worth telling the truth; the longer you lie, the darker the dark becomes. To you and to others. and it will make the shadow work far more difficult to overcome. Embody your light as much as your dark and you will not be afraid of yourself let alone others; and you will not feel the need to 'front' > 4 < The more you prove yourself to others, the more you proved you are trying to prove yourself and rarely did you prove what you wanted to prove. You simply approved yourself as someone willing to prove themselves

> 5 >"When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you" > I love how everyone thinks they are better than one another, because we can point out certain flaws that maybe we are avoiding; to pretend we are better than the other. But your ratchetness is just as ratchet as another, or worse. Does that make you a worser person? well maybe. But that should make you feel pretty stupid for calling other people ratchet. People need to be told what is correct and what is not; but it simply doesn't matter most of the time, because that person usually is very aware of how destructive they are, because its hard to ignore the messes you create, and sooner rather than later, they will find their karma; so why intefere? work on yourself and become an example, don't adopt someones elses kids when they are already rebelling their real mothers.

> 6 >No one can or will hurt you more than who or what you love > your enemies may sting but if your love one hurts you, as no one knows you better than them, when they strike it will hurt. And sometimes you cannot recover a relationship because you 2 have hurt each other too much. Enemies will piss you off, but truthfully fighting enemies is good fun. Fighting love ones is a whole nother ball game and that is a far more plutonian thing. Sometimes it is necessary to hurt those we love so they learn a lesson, but far more often than not ; you both will cause irreparable scars that will leave a sore spot in both of your hearts. > 7 < You are equally as powerful and as powerless as you believe to be. Your flaws are as real as your strengths; and the longer you deny your strength or your weakness, the more it will sting when the realization hits that you are both. You are not worse or better than anyone, and the more someone pretends they are one or the other, the more pathetic they are. Regardless of which form they choose to show. > 8 < You can't blame anyone. Only yourself. If your the vessel of your destiny than everything that passes you is just the current; and you will have a difficult time arguing with the laws of nature. Learn to accept what you are and what is around you, and then you will discover ways to manipulate it. Do not try to educate something that is immovable, but allow it to pass you; in a respectful manner, that is true power; allowing something to exist and not let it interfere with your sense of being. Because you are able to be apart of the dark > notice how any light on in the dark is a magnet to everything that is awake in the dark? > 9 > "The most beautiful thoughts are always besides the darkest" - dark lives in the shadow of light, and because of this many times over when your fighting darkness its when you feel the most powerful; and its because you are actually embodying a more darker aspect of yourself, as you also embody a stronger 'light' within; "dont you know you can only get as high as you fell?"

I don't want to talk about my pluto; I'm just discussing what pluto means to me. There are so many places you can find him, these are just some places I've found him.

#pluto #astro community #astrology blog #astrology notes #astrology observations

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practicalsolarpunk · 11 months

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is material consumption ok if it's for hobbies?

I want to start by thanking you for asking this question. It's an important one, and it leads to an idea that we don't really address much on practicalsolarpunk. But we definitely should discuss it more, and this is a good place to start. This may or may not be what you want to hear, anon, but I hope this helps a little bit. (Long post ahead.)

When I started this blog, most of the solarpunk content I could find was aesthetic, fiction, and political action. All of those are very important! Political action and resistance is how we will actually make changes on a systemic level. Aesthetic and fiction content are essential because it lets us imagine a better future, and it's impossible to create a future we can't imagine. But what I wanted was a blog of small things I could do right now or soon to reduce my consumption in general, learn new things, opt out in tiny ways, and make both the world and my own life a little better. This blog is about little things (and sometimes slightly bigger things) that we can do as individuals. Composting, gardening, foraging, and building community may make your life and the lives of those around you better, but they won't change the exploitative and destructive foundations of capitalist society.

practicalsolarpunk is not the definitive guide to solarpunk. It's not even the end goal. In my view, solarpunk has three interlocking aspects: Individual actions towards making a better future, building communities to make a better future together, and political action and resistance to move societal structures and systems towards a better future. On this blog, we mainly focus on individual actions and a little bit of community-building. Individual actions are great, but they can only go so far.

Coming back to your main concept, consumption: It's easy to come to the conclusion that consumption is bad, evil, wrong, destroying the environment, etc. If you hang out in solarpunk spaces, you've probably heard the "There is no ethical consumption under capitalism." And that's true - it is impossible to find anything created under capitalism that is not somehow exploiting the environment or people. However, consumption is required to survive. Eating food is consumption. Wearing clothes is consumption. Living indoors is consumption. Using any method of transportation besides walking is consumption. Even outside of capitalist systems, we must consume to live.

We are prone to black-and-white thinking. We want to sort things into "entirely good" and "entirely bad." When we have those boxes, we can do all of the things that make us good and none of the things that make us bad. It seems especially important to know what's good and what's bad to do when the future and the fate of the world are at stake. But in reality, almost nothing is fully good or fully bad. Everything is somewhere on the spectrum in between.

My guess is you want permission to buy things for your hobbies. (That's my guess because I have wanted the same thing - I hoped permission from someone who knew more than me about what was going on would help me feel less guilty about consuming.) And the reality is that I cannot give you that permission. There are reasonable arguments for either side. Material consumption for hobbies is good because hobbies are great for mental health and you can't change the world if your mental health is terrible. Material consumption for hobbies is bad because even though the consumption reduced is small it can build up to a greater effect over time.

Overconsumption is destroying the planet. We must consume to survive. There is no way to consume ethically under capitalism. All three of these statements are true. That means there is no "right" answer to your question. You can only make a decision based on your values, your needs, and your knowledge. I know what my choice would be in your situation, but I can't say what the best choice is for you.

I'm a huge fan of Maya Angelou's quote,: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." Make the best decision you can with the information you have. If and when you get more information, you may need to reevaluate it. Perfection is impossible. Even when the stakes seem terrifyingly high, your best is good enough.

And one final note, because this question has reminded me a lot of myself and I don't want you to fall into the same trap I once did: Don't let guilt dictate this decision. Guilt tells you that you're doing the wrong things, you're not doing the right things, and you're definitely not doing enough. It says that making yourself happy is a moral failing, that it's wrong to do things just for fun while people are suffering and the world is burning, and that you are partially to blame for the state of the world because you chose to consume. Guilt is a liar, and you will destroy yourself before you ever do enough or sacrifice enough to satisfy it.

Ultimately, solarpunk is about creating a better future for people. A future where humans are extinct might save the environment from human overconsumption, but that's not a solarpunk future. Excessive material consumption isn't solarpunk, but denying yourself consumption that would improve your life isn't solarpunk either.

- Mod J

#asked and answered #ideas and theory #long post

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rosesfox · 1 year

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sweet nothing

(this is a +18 oneshot evajacks. there’s smut and a lot of curse words, so read with caution. evangeline is eighteen in this fanfic and everything is perfectly consented ☺️)

this fic takes place shortly after they find out that evangeline can kiss jacks, so she is comfortable with her wants and desires. i don't think she's too out of character as she looked pretty comfortable kissing apollo lol

___________________🔥____________________

They said the end is coming, everyone's up to something. I found myself around and into your sweet nothings ♪

Evangeline's shoulders tensed and she placed her hands on Apollo's chest. She forced a smile as she pushed him away, and said:

“I'm not feeling very well tonight.’’ She forced a cough. “It must have been the rain I got in before I came here. Can we meet tomorrow morning?’’

Evangeline saw the impatience in Apollo's eyes, and for a moment she feared he was going to stay in the room against her will. But a smile crept onto his lips, and he gave her a chaste good night before leaving the room.

Evangeline sighed in relief before turning toward the closet.

“Have you lost your mind?’’

Jacks stepped out of the shadows with a grim expression. He had his hands in his pockets as he looked down at her.

“I needed to make sure you were safe.’’

“We've already talked about this.” She crossed her arms. “I'm perfectly safe, but that could change if Apollo finds you here and discovers our plans to defeat him.’’

"He was going to touch you." Jacks turned his head toward the door, an angry expression crossing his face as if Apollo was still there.

"He wasn’t..."

"He can't touch you, Evangeline." Suddenly, he was coming toward her. She took several steps back until she bumped against the dresser, her hands resting on his chest.

“He wasn't going to touch me.

“If he touches you, I'll break his arm." Jacks smiled then, one of those evil smiles that used to raise the hair on the back of her neck. "Do you want me to break his arm, Evangeline?"

She really hated the way her body reacted when he behaved like that.

Evangeline wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling his golden strands against her fingers.

“You should know by now that the only person I want touching me is you.’’

She saw his expression change, and smiled as his hands grabbed her waist. Her heart filled with happiness when he touched her without hesitation, glad that she didn't have to hold back all the affection she wanted to give him.

They had discovered in the sweetest way.

When Jacks found he could kiss her, he looked disconcerted, as if he'd been presented with the most wonderful of gifts. For a moment, he looked like he didn't know what to do with himself, suddenly being able to feel something for someone without taking any risks. Evangeline, in turn, just smiled, she smiled because she always knew she could, always knew that the love between them was greater than any curse.

Then, he touched her as if she were made of glass; as if he were scared to break this precious gift. And when her lips touched his, it was as if she finally returned to the place to which she belonged.

Since then, they just didn't stop. At any time, Jacks clung her and stick his lips in hers as if he couldn't avoid, as if he couldn't be without her taste. And when there was no opportunity, he kissed her anyway. He stole kisses when she walked past him, when she was distracted, and when they were in the presence of Lala or Chaos, and especially Luc.

Sometimes things warmed. Evangeline wanted nothing more than submitting to that heat, but the moments weren't good. Once, she and Jacks had gotten to take some pieces from each other in one of Chaos's castle rooms, but his mother had come in and caught them in the act.

Now, on the other hand, they were free to give in to their wishes.

"You shouldn't say these things when we're so close to your bed." Jacks leaned down toward her, his lips incredibly close to hers as he brushed their noses together.

Evangeline felt her heart beat fast, as if she were dying, even though she knew she had never been more alive. Her cheeks were burning and her palms were sweating, but she didn't to hold back.

She had learned many things since arriving in the North. In a matter of months, her life had completely changed. Evangeline had fallen in love, had made friends and lived the most different experiences. She, too, had her heart broken, her memories erased, and she'd became a prisioner of mad prince who wanted to keep her and kill the one she loved. At that point, it didn't seem to make sense not to go all the way, not knowing when she would have another opportunity with Jacks. At that point, it didn't make sense to focus on all the things she still had to work out and all the stress she and her friends were going through. For the moment, she could just enjoy Jacks conveniently being in her room.

"You know that…" Evangeline paused, lifting her eyes to look directly at him. “If Apollo were still here, he wouldn't waste any time before pushing me onto the bed. Maybe I should call him again...

She started to walk away, but Jacks grabbed her body before pressing her against the dresser. She gasped as she felt all the hard parts of his body against the parts where she was soft.

"You know you shouldn't tease me, Little Fox." Jacks brushed his lips over hers again, before dragging them down to her ear. "Especially when your room is so close to your husband's room. You don't want him to hear you scream all night, do you?’’ And then, he bit her.

Evangeline moaned as she clung to his arm. In some surprising way, the idea of being so close to Jacks while Apollo was in the next room didn't bother her at all. If anything, it made her even more excited. After everything Apollo had put her through, including taking her away from Jacks for months, he deserved it. Evangeline might not be very good with revenge, but she would feel satisfied knowing that she did at least something that might make him upset.

"I thought it would be something you'd be excited to do, actually," she replied, leaning her body toward him. “After everything he's done, all the times he's kissed me and laid with me, I figured you'd love the retribution. In fact, knowing you can do even more than he ever did."

He smiled in the cruelest way possible before grabbing the back of her thighs and placing her on top of the dresser.

"With him, I'm going to be a little worse." Jacks moved closer, their bodies separated only by her thin nightgown. “I'm going to make him regret every time he's touched you, so breaking his arm would have seemed like a kindness.’’ His voice was filled with false gentleness as he caressed her, his hand roaming over her body as he looked deep into her eyes. “With you, making you scream will just be a bonus, because when I'm done you won't even remember his name.’’

Then, he took her lips. Evangeline could now attest with absolute certainty that a kiss from him would be worth dying for. It was the kind that made her forget everything, from her name to where they were. And when he parted her lips and deepened the kiss, she lost track of everything. There was nothing else but him and the way he kissed her, like a starving man presented with the richest of feasts.

She put her hands on the back of his neck, pulling him to her as she forced her hips against his in an almost desperate movement. Jacks moaned greedily before putting his hands on her waist, keeping her in place. He trailed his lips down her neck, one hand firmly on her waist while the other brushed the strands of her hair to the side so he could have as much access as he wanted. Then, Jacks spread kisses over her skin. Below her ear, in the center of her neck and above her breasts, interspersing them with small bites that made her moan and push her hips against his even with the strength of his hand.

"If you don't stop," he murmured against her neck, his hot breath against her skin. “If you don't stop, this will end sooner than it should.’’

Evangeline almost laughed, but then he brought his free hand up to one of her breasts and squeezed. She closed her eyes instantly, moaning against his lips and leaning her torso forward, wanting him to do more, wanting him to explore more. The hand that was on her waist reached for her other breast, and she whimpered once more, opening her eyes only to see him watching her with as much desire as anyone could ever have. As if he was delighted with her every reaction.

Without breaking eye contact, Evangeline lowered one of the straps of her nightgown, watching his eyes stray from hers to the swell of her breasts. He wasted no time. Jacks grabbed both straps and pulled them down, nearly tearing the fabric in the process.

Evangeline, of course, wore nothing underneath but her panties, and her cheeks flushed violently as Jacks stared down at her bare torso. He licked his bottom lip and caressed her waist before leaning down and taking one of her breasts in his mouth. Evangeline moaned, instantly grabbing his blond hair. Jacks sucked and licked as another hand moved up to her other breast, squeezing it and making Evangeline bite her lip hard to keep from crying out in pleasure.

Jacks repeated the process on the other breast before moving kisses up her collarbone, neck and lips. He placed small kisses on her mouth and cheeks, his hands roaming her thighs and hips before finding that sensitive spot between her legs.

Evangeline's lips parted involuntarily as he pressed a finger into her intimacy, her own fingers traveling from his neck to the muscles in his arm. She couldn't help but send her nails into his biceps as he explored that oh-so-sensitive part of her.

Jacks was watching her with interest, as if her every reaction was something very beautiful to watch, and Evangeline thought that she couldn't be any redder and more embarrassed than she was, but there was nothing she could do. She couldn't control her body's reaction to his touches, the way her voice escaped her lips.

He then traveled his fingers down to the inside of her panties. Evangeline clung to his shoulders as if he were her own lifeline, shocked by the depth of pleasure she felt. Jacks' fingers pressed down on her clit before moving down to her opening, stroking the entire length before thrusting a finger inside her.

She then really screamed.

Jacks chuckled against her neck before saying, in a husky voice:

"Shhh... You don't want your husband to walk through this door and find us here like this... Or do you?" He thrust in another finger, making her grip tighter against him. "Does the idea of your husband seeing me fuck you turn you on as much as it turns me on, Evangeline?"

Evangeline wanted to assert, but she thought it would inflate his ego too much. Besides, she was lost in the pressure building in her womb, that sensation she liked that threatened to shatter her.

But then, Jacks pulled away completely.

Evangeline looked at him as if he had committed the worst of sins, making him laugh. She tried to bring him closer to her again, but he held her thighs too tightly.

Jacks pulled the fabric of her panties down, ripping the material in the middle. Then he brought her close to him, pulling her up before tossing her onto the bed with little gentleness.

For a moment, all he did was watch her. From her hair down to her feet, he watched her with such lust that she thought she blushed even more. Being vulnerable to his eyes like that was embarrassing, but at the same time the way he was looking at her turned her on in an indescribable way. Then he loosened his belt and removed his shirt.

Evangeline bit her lip to manage an unchaste smile before taking in the perfect shape of his body, the ridges of his abdomen and the way his body tapered at the hips. He was so beautiful; especially like this, with his lips swollen from her kisses, his golden hair tousled by her hands, and the marks of her nails on his strong biceps.

She almost sighed as she dropped to her knees on the bed, her body exposed to his as he watched her. Evangeline tugged at the waistband of his pants, sliding the material down his thighs as he grinned.

Jacks finished stepping out of the material, and in a moment of pure adrenaline she pressed her hand into the bulge of his boxers. It was his turn to close his eyes, and Evangeline let herself smile as she explored that part of him and watched him react with such pleasure. She then put one of her hands inside his underwear and felt his entire bulge in her palm.

That's when Jacks pushed her back onto the bed, and Evangeline actually laughed at his impatience.

He took off his boxers and climbed on top of her, parting her knees roughly and hooking himself between them.

‘’Are you sure?’’ Jacks asked, brushing a few stray hairs off her forehead.

Evangeline felt her heart melt at that affection, at his words, and she smiled before tilting his face down. She pressed her lips to his as she wrapped her legs around his waist, touching their intimacy. They both moaned at the contact, and Jacks brought one of his hands to his cock to position himself.

He then entered her at once.

Jacks squeezed his eyes shut, and Evangeline whimpered some more at the pain she felt at the moment. She held on to him, taking deep breaths to try to ease the pain as he waited to be able to move.

She could feel by the tension in his muscles that this wasn't easy for him, but he kissed her neck and shoulders to try to relax her.

And when at last she felt ready, and slightly impatient that he still wasn't moving, she pushed her hips against his.

Jacks moaned once more, gripping the sheets beside her head and started to move. He started slow, hard, going to the base and then withdrawing all the way, gradually increasing the pace of his thrusts until there was no rhythm at all. There was only his losing control, the lifting of her hips, their moans, the bed creaking and banging against the wall that shared Evangeline's room with Apollo's.

“You feel so fucking good, Evangeline,” he growled against her ear, his voice husky as he pressed her against the bed, grinding his hips into hers too hard. They kissed again and again as their bodies merged, he kissed her neck and squeezed her breasts, walked his hand over her body until he placed it on her knee, tilting it up and thus increasing his access to her.

Evangeline would have loved to focus on the way he looked ruthless, a little desperate, clutching at her body as if he wanted more, even though she was already giving him all she has. But she was too lost in her own pleasure, trying to hold in her screams when he reached unbelievable places inside her, biting her lips or her hands.

She actually lost track of time, writhing beneath him and sighing her pent-up cries. Jacks bent down again, biting his lips, neck, every bit of skin he could find before bringing his cheek to hers.

Evangeline screamed in pleasure as she felt her orgasm reach, the walls of her pussy writhing around him as she bit down on his shoulder to try and muffle the sound of her moan. Jacks let out a husky moan as he felt her tighten against him, thrusting a few more times before she felt him swell, spilling inside her.

He rested his head against her shoulder as he caught his breath, and she stroked his spine as she grinned goofily at the ceiling.

Evangeline was so, so happy.

“If Apollo heard this bed hit the wall, I'll be forced to put some employee at risk and say they were using one of the royal bedrooms.’’ She said, eliciting a chuckle from him as he pulled out of her and laid down next to her.

She loved seeing him smile, loved the sound of his laughter.

"I'll just love having a reason to tell him what really happened, Little Fox. Don't worry’’ Jacks winked at her as he pulled her to him and covered them with the blanket, muffling the sound of her laughter.

They had also gotten used to sleeping together. Ever since Evangeline had remembered their night together in the Hollow, she just didn't want to sleep anywhere but in his arms. Although they didn't always have the opportunity, she always tried to sneak over to where he was sleeping to lift the covers and sleep beside him.

His arms were always around her, pulling her to him instantly, and she slept contentedly secure.

#evajacks #evajacks smut #ouabh #tbona #acftl #evangeline fox #jacks prince of hearts

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adhd-merlin · 3 months

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merlin S1 rewatch: episode 9

let’s move on to ep 1x09 because I need to get on. with my life. I already re-watched this ep months ago and I can’t be arsed to do it again so I’m going to use screencaps and perhaps the transcript to refresh my memory.

kilgharrah warning merlin that excalibur MUST NOT be wielded by anyone but arthur, and merlin handing the sword to uther literally the next morning is so funny to me. it's kind of the same thing that happens with the cup of life, when iseldir tells merlin “hey this is important so don’t lose it okay?” and five minutes later we see the cup rolling down a hill. I love consistent characterisation. please don’t give this boy anything important for safekeeping he has enough on his plate already!!

I think Arthur’s coronet looks a bit dumb but still it’s nothing compared to the horrendous Burger King crown he'll wear as king. why did uther get such a prettier crown. why couldn't arthur just wear his father's crown. so many questions

why did they name the undead knight tristan, was he supposed to be the tristan? I think he was. I think their take on tristan and isolde in S4 was so disappointing btw. anyway moving on

Merlin: Gaius have you seen that knight’s crest before? Gaius: No, I don’t think so. I didn’t see it clearly. Actually I’m not even sure I saw a knight. Perhaps it was a trick of the light or a collective hallucination

Sir Owain: I don’t need luck Arthur: oh fuck he’s going to die

Arthur’s face after Uther holds him back and someone else picks up the undead knight’s gauntlet. so much self-sacrificing acts of bravery and NONE of them done by him. wrong and upsetting

S1 Arthur I'm not sure how to tell you this so I'll just say it. your haircut looks dangerously close to a mullet

Merlin: maybe arson can fix this

Nimueh telling Uther she was his friend!!! fuck season 6 I want a Merlin prequel

he’s a precious baby. he’s shmol. only tiny

gwen doing her whole “you know I'd grant you anything merlin… I mean, not anything! haha” meanwhile merlin is too worried about keeping arthur alive to notice. GIRL HE'S BUSY

WHY. who stands like this

he holds this stupid pose the entire time morgana is talking to him. imagine begging someone not to commit suicide while they brood and look out of the window like a sullen byronic hero. I would have pushed him out of the window. drama ass bitch

this is the second nighttime encounter between uther and gaius in this episode. uther saying goodbye to gaius before going to fight in arthur’s place. toxic yaoi. is this anything

YOU KNOW NOTHING YOU STUPID CHILD. I love that Kilgharrah is a hater and a bitch. to be fair to him he spent 20 years in solitary confinement so he's earned it

gaius drugging arthur then gently helping him into his bed is hilarious. he’s so good at lying and drugging people. big fan of gaius using his evil talents for the greater good, or just to have a laugh sometimes which is equally valid

what a fine blade you have there… it would be a shame if something were to happen to it

he’s wearing silver bracelets!! plural!!

[Enter Arthur, visibly furious]

Gaius [gathering his things]: I've just remembered I've left something on the stove. I must go right now immediately

Arthur [while Gaius scurries away]: YOU HAD GAIUS DRUG ME??

arthur and uther little father and son moment was cute ngl

there are a few more scenes until the end but I don't have much to say about them except that I love gaius and merlin's relationship

Gaius: [stares loudly] Merlin: [pretends not to notice]

#a very serious commentary of ep 1x09 #rewatch1.jls #merlin's body count: still 4 #I'm sorry about the horrible wide spacing it is tumblr's fault

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craycraybluejay · 1 month

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we're not fucking but we could i'm aro but we're in love no one understands us but us i am the evil and too the only good i am the first murderer and the protective lion of narnia you are the sun and the shade you are brilliant and undeserving of hurt in some light it looks that you would be beautiful to break but whatever kills you kills me kills us to see you cry makes my mind turn off i don't even know what i'm doing till i've done it there is blood on my hands you are scared but unscathed this is my burden you are my favourite burden you did something horrific and everyone is angry with you and i am too but though i tell you to do better i comfort you i defend you i say we wouldn't do a thing like that naively you do little evils and i if i hadn't a soul for only you would do a far greater evil would erase all of yours with my ultimate consumption you and i we would be together in our heaven which they call hell though i would be a monster and you would be a freak and we would be a lost cause we would be twisted and happy rather we are in our hell which they call heaven and berate us for being this way for ungratefulness for entwinement for violence and sweetness and everything between this is heaven love this is heaven baby what a joke i would never could never allow any delusion to grow further will never change you in a way you were not meant to be changed i will never interfere and only dream and this is a perfect thing indeed because i am the only one who matters and you are the only one who matters and so i should be perfectly still and fluid like an eerie lifeless lake but it is love and not water it hurts and burns and turns you into something else but anyway in my minds eye there is a beautiful framed portrait of us and there i am with my protective and too authoritarian hand on your shoulder and there you are smiling that impossibly sunny smile at me and neither of us are looking at the portrait man i am looking at you but past you i have seen the original sin the room is shrouded in dark and there is a soft glow emitted by a lamp outside of frame captured in brushstroke so swell and you are on a throne in the colour you chose that i made for you and your nails are the colours you chose and your knuckles are pressing against mine on the arm of the throne and the world may see it different even with you in your throne but we both know who has the power here but i am spoiled rotten spoiling you rotten i am cruel inside i am vile and desirous and so very sick for you theres an itch that started in your calf and traveled to my ear and the portrait doesnt quite capture how my pinky finger wanders to feel for your pulse because my dear i must know the rhythm of your heart and in this portrait most importantly its only us not even a shadow or a whisper of the others it is my book on the small glass table and your half eaten meal beside it it is my eyes and yours and they are the same but not quite it is my love and yours it is ours it is us and they look at us and i think i imagine they must see theres something wrong with me or they must percieve something strange in us but its only paranoia because what we are is beautiful and what they see is beauty and that is why they stare sometimes and that is why they smile to themselves and no one is like us but we are like is so that is just fine and if i would like to possess you its only natural if i want to put my blood on you in you moreso and ask that you promise not to wash it away and your friends are awful and my hookups are twice as bad but you and i us will outlive all that nonsense and we will find one day that we're not lonely at all and while therapy will mend our scars it won't fix us that are not broken

#run on sentence #run on #rambles #indecipherable strangeness #delete later #its a horror how damn much i adore you its freakish and sick and #im ok with that

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tobiasdrake · 7 months

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And on the topic of "It's time to talk about this," here we go. Monaca Towa, the Liar Revealed.

This is where the franchise begins to strain under its own formula. The final act of a Danganronpa has historically been where the rug gets pulled out from under everyone. Huge earthshattering revelations are had, the mastermind's true identity is exposed, everything you thought to be true was a lie, nothing will ever be the same.

But much like M. Night Shyamalan's filmography, here we're starting to see the story strain under the need to incorporate these big twists. DR1 worked pretty well with what it had and DR2 successfully stepped it up a notch, but there always comes a point where the twist loses its punch. Partly because the audience expects it and partly because the need to incorporate it causes it to start to feel forced.

It's the point where twists stop being included because they make the story more interesting and start being included just for the sake of twisting things. In a move that's frankly ironic given her flagrant desire to be a derivative character, Monaca is a slave to formula.

When it comes to writing lies, it's important to take a moment and ask yourself: Is this deception making the story better or worse? A good rule of thumb is this: If you're going to reveal a plot point to be a lie, you must have a more interesting plot point to replace it with.

Monaca's wheelchair is a microcosm of the greater problem, of Monaca having been manipulating and using the Warriors of Hope all along. It doesn't ultimately matter to the story that she was lying about the wheelchair. Her suddenly being able to use her legs adds nothing. She could still be a manipulative villain trying to create a new Junko Enoshima and be in a wheelchair. There is no value added by this lie.

There is functionally no difference between "Monaca's dad and brother beat her until she was permanently disabled" and "Monaca's dad and brother beat her so badly that her being permanently disabled was a believable outcome." This lie adds nothing to the story.

That's the issue with all of Monaca's lies. Monaca being a callous self-centered manipulator obsessed with Junko is a thing that can coexist with Monaca being the wheelchair-bound Mage of the Warriors of Hope. These two things don't have to contradict each other. It's a reveal just for the sake of having something to reveal.

It's just Evilness Points; A thing writers will do sometimes where they have villains do evil things with no impact on the plot purely to add to some invisible Evilness Score. Monaca abandons the most distinctive feature of her character design for the sake of +6 Evil Points, and the story moves right along like that whole wheelchair business didn't happen.

And the same ultimately goes for Monaca deceiving the Warriors of Hope. She lied to them all and only pretended to want to create a paradise for children when actually she wanted to create a new Junko Enoshima. Junko Enoshima, a person who they all worshipped and would have been onboard with making anew. And for whom "Make a new Junko" does not have to be mutually exclusive with "Paradise for Children" at all.

Again, this deception is just Evilness Points. Turning Monaca against the Warriors is being done purely to make her more sinister, while adding nothing to the plot. There's no reason she would need to withhold the true plan from them, or any reason why "the true plan" and "the lie" would need to contradict each other. They can do both.

At this point, Monaca is no longer being written as a character. She's being written as the Surprise Villain, who is already the main villain but it's a surprise how much more villain she secretly was than the villain she already was.

This subtracts interesting character traits from Monaca while adding nothing. We already knew she was a big manipulative piece of shit from her very first scene. It's not that big of a shock that she's obsessed with Junko. They're all obsessed with Junko. What are you trying to achieve here?

At this point, I would be remiss not to note that there is one thing accomplished by turning Monaca against the Warriors. That is, it allows the game to divorce her from them, so that they can be treated to a sympathetic conclusion while Monaca vanishes into the mist, to return as the archvillain of the next game.

But.

Well.

We'll get to that.

#danganronpa #ultra despair girls #revisiting udg #monaca towa

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rigged-from-the-start · 1 year

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Rigged from the Start

𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐖𝐎, 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄

𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐓𝐖𝐎: 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓 𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄

𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: 𝐓𝐁𝐃

WELCOME TO MY MASTER FANFIC PLAN!

I'm Ryn, and I've been working on a fanfic surrounding an AU for weeks now, and it's all coming together!

This AU is based off of @oifaa's Rebel's AU and RPs from @thistechnologicalterror, @passcode-8-1-0-8, @captain-tyrannosaurus, @there-is-another-skywalker, @zia-zia-bo-bia, @ginger-jedi-twink, @104th-plo-koon, @oona-the-trash-can-not-cannot, @little-wolffepup, @104commanderwolffe, @kaos-and-order, as well as art from @shyranno. I've gotten permission from all of them, and I'm excited to share this!

I will start posting when I have fifteen or so chapters already written, and go from there.

IF ANYONE WANTS TO BETA-READ, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE!

If you want more info regarding this AU, please check out the blogs up above. They'll give you an idea of what to expect.

If you want to be tagged, please send me a message using the ask box!

If you have any questions, please use my main (@jiabeewrites) to ask them!

The preview is under the cut!

UPDATE: THIS WILL BE POSTED ON AO3! You can find it here! You can find the wattpad version here!

UPDATED UPDATE

Preview:

Anakin Skywalker has fucked up.

Wait. Kriff. That's not right.

Because it's not his fault.

Anakin Skywalker tried to warn them.

Do or do not. There is no try.

But they didn't listen. They never did.

Listen, because some wars are silent.

And because of their ignorance, the Republic, the GAR, the Jedi Council, all of it is gone.

The path of ignorance is guided by fear.

Now, there's just a handful of battered Jedi, Clone Troopers, and freedom fighters left. The rest have gone into hiding, fearful for their lives.

The fight is done. We lost.

And for a while, Anakin has given up all hope. That is, until he hears a voice.

FULFILL YOUR PROMISE, ANI’IKA.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is tired.

The costs of war can never be truly accounted for.

He doesn't want to fight anymore. He's had enough.

Survival is one step on the path to living.

There's nothing left for him now. Everything he knew turned out to be a lie.

Truth was the first casualty.

Obi-Wan needs help. More than that, he needs closure.

Sometimes, accepting help is harder than offering it.

But that may have to wait until he hears what his former Padawan has to say.

A wise leader knows when to follow.

Zia Ma'a needs to run.

You can change who you are, but you cannot run from yourself.

She's parenting a child she didn't even create, and her girlfriend has been reported dead.

But what is grief if not love persevering?

Zia vowed to leave her past behind her, looking to a new future after the war.

Only the dead have seen the end of the war.

But with the dawn of the Empire on the rise, she can't just sit there while people are suffering.

Freedom is never free.

Which is why she doesn't think twice when accepting Ahsoka's offer.

One must let go of the past to hold on to the future.

Theodosia Skywalker feels helpless.

Facing all that you fear will free you from yourself.

The galaxy thinks she's dead. Her brother and niece have gone missing.

Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere?

Everything in her life just seems to be crashing down around her.

Grief is a recurring battle. Heartbreak is an frequent enemy.

Evil has corrupted the path she was on, and now, she has no choice but to forge a new one.

If there is no path before you, create your own.

But Theo soon realizes that the Empire doesn't have as tight of a grip on the galaxy as it thinks it does.

There is no such thing as Greater Good, but there is such a thing as Great Evil, and it will win if you don’t stop to Think.

#rigged from the start au #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #leia skywalker #luke amidala #padme amidala #kanan jarrus #ahsoka tano #sw rebels #rex #cody #theodosia skywalker #zia ma'a #oloonah leto #cat & wolffe & calico #plo koon #darth vader #redeemed!vader

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rainbowfic · 11 months

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Today's prompt list is: Battleship Grey

Theme: Television 1. All of this has happened before. 2. Ideas always seem strange until you try them on. 3. The shape of things to come. 4. There's a reason you separate military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people. 5. "Out-of-the-box" is where I live. 6. What is the most basic article of faith? This is not all that we are. 7. Genesis turns to its source, reduction occurs step wise though the essence is all one, end of line. 8. There is no greater ally, no force more powerful, no enemy more resolved, than a son who chooses to step from his father's shadow. 9. Sometimes a benevolent tyrant is exactly what you need. 10. So, barely competent and paranoid? That's a hell of a combination. 11. Nobody blames the flood. 12. I'm a friendly, okay? We're all friendlies! So, let's just...be friendly! 13. The only problem isn't that he lies - that would be too easy - it's that he mixes lies with truth. 14. But the truth is, if we knew God's will, we'd all be gods, wouldn't we? 15. In war, you can only get killed once. In politics it can happen over and over. 16. We gotta roll the hard six. 17. You can't declare war on love. 18. Good and evil, we created those. Want to break the cycle? Break the cycle of birth, death, re-birth, destruction, escape, death. That's in our hands. In our hands only. 19. I have to conceptualize complex ideas in this stupid limiting spoken language! But I know I want to reach out with something other than these prehensile paws; and feel the solar wind of a supernova flowing over me. 20. Symbols matter. Uniforms, flags, banners - even mascots. They're like pieces of your heart that you can see. 21. Those things we deem essential, without which we cannot bear living. Without which life in general loses its specific value. Becomes abstract. 22. I will use every cannon, every bomb, every bullet, every weapon I have down to my own eye teeth to end you! 23. "What's the charge this time?" "Striking a superior asshole." 24. All I know is if there is a God, he's laughin' his ass off. 25. "What do you want to do now, Captain?" "The same thing we always do. Fight them until we can't." 26. Whatever else I am, whatever else it means, that's the man I want to be. And if I die today, that's the man I'll be. 27. It's not enough to survive. One must be worthy of survival. 28. You make your choices and you live with them. And in end you are those choices. 29. I just hope... I hope that... people realize, eventually, who I am. 30. So say we all.

from Battlestar Galactica (2003)

----

RainbowFic is an original fiction (and more) community on Dreamwidth. The pinned post has more information.

#battlestar galactica #prompt list #rainbowfic original #writing prompts #prompts

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guiltywisdom · 1 year

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Hi, former raised-in-an-Asatru-cult anon, here. How do you get used to the idea of God loving you? Having been raised being told I was inherently evil, incapable of doing anything right, and destined to be a bad person no matter what I tried, I ended up not liking myself much. It's really hard for me to understand why anyone would love me. I have so many flaws and I do so many things wrong and every day I see so many ways I could be doing better, I just don't see why God would look at me and see anything worth loving? I'm awful. I get that my mom loves me because she's my mom, and I try to think of God like that, but it's really hard when I just can't see a single thing I've ever done to make God like me. Especially when I grew up so racist, xenophobic and antisemitic and it took me so many years to unlearn that. What have I ever done to be worth loving? I want to believe but I just... I'm not a good person, yet. I'm working on it but I know I'm not. So how can I believe God loves me when I'm still kind of stunned by the idea He doesn't hate me?

God loves you because He created you. You are a great masterpiece that He looks down upon with joy. Why does your mother love you? Does she love you for any special reason other than she is your mother and you are her son? It is the same for God, He is your father and he loves you the same way but even greater for He is greater.

You say there is nothing about you worth loving, that you've done nothing good but you have, you've told me twice about how you've fought against your racist, unkind, upbringing to be a better person; that is something to be proud of. God knows that we are flawed human beings but yet we are still His masterpieces. He loves us despite our flaws, He sees our potential, He sees our struggles, He knows that we are trying and sometimes trying is just as important as succeeding. Even when we are not trying, even when we are terrible, God's love never ceases! Even the souls in Hell are loved greatly by God, there is nothing you can ever do that will make God love you less! But you are trying, you are working on being better and God sees that and must be proud. I love you anon and I wish you great happiness.

#replies #asks

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tsuki-sennin · 1 year

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Shortly after asserting N'Kosopa's will against the vindictive Racules and fending away the Bugnarak Empire in Peta, King of Evil Gira and President Yanma Gast are unexpectedly stolen away by God Kamakiri: Guardian Shugod of the Kingdom of Ishabana. Infamous for her lavish lifestyle but beloved by her people as a healer, Ishabana's young Queen Himeno Ran no doubt seeks an audience with the two men. Though her aim is uncertain, she may prove to be an invaluable ally in dethroning Racules and freeing the people of Shugoddam...

...ahem, that is to say... "Let's get this story of ours back on track!"

Spoilers, I guess...

-Sheesh, they should pay me to do these recaps!

-So the story goes!

-Ah, it's...

-Well, it's certainly a pretty place!

-Getting kidnapped by a beautiful girl's gigantic robot mantis god...

-That's how I'd like to be introduced to someone.

-Ah, Yanma seems to know what's up.

-Uhhh, not at all, Your Majesty! We're right as rain, eh Gira?

-Ooooof, shut down.

-Well, to be fair, Gira's a pretty eye catching dude.

-...I won't lie, it'd have been all over for me right then and there.

-Rich, glamorous doctor, patron of the arts, and direct with what she wants?

-AND flower handcuffs!? Oh, Toei, you guys gotta stop reading my search history.

-Soooooo, how we feeling about Zenryoku King? I think it's pretty good, but I'm not quite sure it fits the theming quite yet.

-I absolutely love this opening sequence though, it's so sick looking.

-I love how the team colors just pop out of the grayscale.

-Sentai gets visual flair even if fidelity can be called into question sometimes.

-Holy shit, every Kingdom's in better shape than Shugoddam!

-That motherfucker!

-Kuwagon :)

-I see Gira views his god as his bestie

-"Here I thought you a junkyard dog! Gast, you spineless, simpering purse pup! Have you been so truly whipped that you'd hand over MY God to please a single whim!?"

-"No! ...Nyes :3d"

-Oh, and she's got maids for days!

-Evil~!

-"...okay, can he say that in English? Or uh, Japanese I guess... come to think of it, what do the people of Tikyu speak? Galactic Basic?"

...actually, I hear Erica Murakami's got a bit of Canadian in her, would she know English?

-Rainbow Jururira!

-...come to think of it, Gira must be starving. Not only did he just get out of a battle, but he was taken to another country and hung from the ceiling. ...has he eaten today?

-"Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

-Oooooh, three greater guardians.

-That's a scarab, I'm pretty sure.

-Himeno seems like the kind of person who'd get extremely mad about a typo in chat.

-Hmm... this place reminds me a lot of the Netherlands. ...or I suppose more accurately, the Dutch tulip craze.

-If you don't know what I'm taking about, I insist you do a bit of research on the 17th century's Tulip Mania. It's a hell of a lot like the investment schemes we see nowadays, in terms of how much money was lost and how little we learn from it.

-"Oh God, it's another one... *Sigh* Do I have to depose this one too?"

-"Smash that house!"

-Gira's certainly sticking to his principles. Very based of him.

-Those poor people.

-...Ohhhh, she likes blowing shit up.

-God, she's perfect.

-"...and just as suddenly as it came, it's gone. Let's get outta here."

-Raaaainbow jururira.

-"Yo."

-The bugs are fighting!

-Ohhh, it's a soup.

-Soop...

-"Yeah, thanks, whatever."

-"Good work. ...but this ain't the real thing."

-I'm gonna be honest, I haven't the foggiest idea what jururira even is.

-For all I know, it could be like

-Deep fried spaghetti ice cream.

-Okay, that seems like gelatin.

-Man, Yanma's just *deflated*.

-"Hand over the beetle, or you're fired."

-RITA JUMPSCARE

-"You be safe now, yeah?"

-Ohhh, poor kid

-Seems like her Dad's really mad.

-And off she goes.

-"Please follow these instructions."

-Man, I'm sad now.

-Queen Himeno's aesthetic sense

-25 WHAT THE FUCK

-Oh

-Okay, he just

-I've done a lot of things for cute girls in my short existence, but I don't think roleplaying as a geriatric is one of 'em.

-Oh shit, Bugnarak.

-Who is Queen Himeno Ran, really?

-The people flee!

-Ohgai Busou!

-Help her!

-...oh god, she's covered in shit.

-Take that selfishness to the top, girlie.

-Himeno Ran! Does as she pleases, and pleases as she does!

-Come and Kick It!

-Ohgai Busou!

-Kamakiri Ohger!

-Kamakiri, Kamakiri! Yas Queen!

-Ohh...

-Ohh, she's even more beautiful than I could've ever imagined

-She be walkin!

-"You're not nearly enough of a self-centered bitch yet~!"

-"Hahahaha! How obstinate! Verily, your selfishness is a fitting ally for the King of Evil~!"

-Man, that Mantis would bite my head right off...

-King Ohger!

-Oh shit

-Literally~!

-...that's two episodes in a row with poop jokes, what the heck.

-Snaaaaaail!

-"Oh, okay. Zooom."

-Himeno-samaaaaa~!

-Oh okay, that's uh

-An interesting angle.

-Yay, we did it!

-...I've decided that I am now officially a Himeno Ran simp.

-...you could've picked up on context clues, but I figured saying it outright would help.

-"Ohhhhh!"

-"You just let me handle it, yeah?"

-King Dybowski!

-Of Toufu Land!

-Good on ya, lass.

-That's our Queen for you.

-"Shut it boy. I've got a job to do."

-God Kabuto!

-Oh, no time for surgery, it seems!

-Kaguragi Dybowski! What is this Bee Lord after?

-Suppose we'll just have to wait and see now, won't we?

#Rejoice O Swarming Evil! You're My King!#king ohger #kingohger #ohsama sentai kingohger #kingohger spoilers #king ohger spoilers

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lemonluvgirl · 2 years

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Do you think hijacked Peeta fell out of love with Katniss? Or did he hate her/was afraid of her but still loved her? Is post hijacked Peeta the same Peeta or a new person altogether? Thank you :)

@everlarkshipper

Ahhhh a very good question.

Ok so the crux of my thoughts on this subject base around the idea that pain and fear conditioning rewires the neural pathways of the brain, so quite literally the hijacking overwrote (most of) Peeta's (core) personality (for a time).

Mutt-Peeta/Hijacked-Peeta (whatever you want to call him) was both a heterogeneous mixture of original Peeta and the trackerjacker venom created monster that the Capitol engineered via torture in the bowels beneath the Tribute center. We know that the original Peeta wasn't completely erased because Katniss herself said in different portions of Mockingjay post-rescue, "there were rare flashes of who he had once been," as seen when Peeta decorates Annie and Finnick's wedding cake, or when he reassures Pollux before Star Squad goes into the sewer tunnels and Peeta says, "you just became the most valuable member of our squad", to ease Pollux's nervousness. But these glimpses of the old Peeta were few and far between. So while parts of the original Peeta existed somewhere beneath the hijacking, it was difficult or sometimes almost impossible for those parts to take presidence over the Mutt or the Hijacked part of his brain.

Another really horrifying thing about Peeta's hijacking, is that while it was centered around Katniss, it was also targeted in a deliberate way against Peeta, himself. It eroded/or buried the well established aspects of his personality, such as being gentle, kind, selfless, level headed, peace oriented, forgiving, easy going, and personable. He became after the hijacking, as Johanna so aptly put it, "the evil mutt version of himself". Which was violent, rude, angry, full of bitterness, aggressive, unforgiving, volatile, and unsociable. I think the most insidious part of the hijacking was the attempt to overwrite the inherent love and compassion that Peeta displayed so prominently throughout the first two books. Those components of his character were the foundation on which Peeta Mellark was built and when they were stripped away, he really did lose himself for a while.

I think that by the time he was rescued he had been in the clutches of Snow (and whatever mad scientists Snow employed to torture him) for so long that Peeta didn't remember WHY he used to love Katniss, and worse he didn't clearly remember himself before the hijacking either. But he knew he had once loved Katniss, and he knew he hadn't always been such a rage filled monster but he only had fragments of his memories and feelings. Peeta did discuss his past love for Kantiss with her during their first conversation after his rescue. He said, "I must have loved you a lot." So he ultimately acknowledged his past love of her as fact, even though he didn't understand why he used to feel that way towards her. The effects of the hijacking and torture had erased or clouded his memories of her and to greater extent, himself, and the ability to think about those subjects with any sort of rationality. It wasn't until he received treatment, both medically and psychologically (morphling treatment and Prim + Delly counseling sessions) that he began to recover his memories and facets of his forgotten personality.

Luckily, for Peeta and for Katniss, Peeta was able to eventually overcome his torture and brainwashing (for the most part). He fell in love with Katniss again and they built a life together after the war. But, ultimately, I don't think Peeta was ever the same. His experiences as a POW fundamentally altered his personality just as the war and becoming a symbol of rebellion for an entire nation changed Katniss' personality. Post-hijacked Peeta was probably very different from the boy Katniss went into her first Hunger Games with, but in all the ways that mattered he was the same. He recovered his core personality traits of being a kind, gentle soul who wished for peace and a quiet life with the one he loved above all else.

So it's my theory that Post-hijacked Peeta was a new/different person from both original (pre-hijacked) and Hijacked/Mutt-Peeta.

Hope that answers your question!!

#thg #meta #thg meta #thoughts #theories #speculation #book analysis #ask answered

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lost-in-prose · 2 years

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The Worst Task I Ever Had And What I Learned From It

There is a time in your life when you must choose between the greater of two evils— when you are standing at the crossroads and you must decide which devil you will allow to take you by the hand. Everyone would like to believe that they can never choose in a situation like this, that they could never swap one bad circumstance for another. They believe they are too good. Too immune. I thought so, too. Little did I know that my two evils were something I never would have thought of.

The scene unfolds as follows: here I am standing in front of my estranged mother a week before I move into college. I, as well as my grandmother, am watching this grown woman bawl her eyes out over ‘disappointing me’. The circumstances are quite odd since she still thinks I care for anything she does, and I have to simply sit there and stare, emotionless, as this woman I never had a connection with continues to cry. I had come with an enigma in mind and yet I am here, watching huge crocodile tears run down her cheeks.

The enigma is one that I have been face to face with since I was old enough to know what the word ‘abandonment’ meant. My mother had offered nothing to me but heartbreak since she abandoned me at three years old, and now, fifteen years later, I have had enough. I want to sever all ties with her to save myself. The question is, do I want to completely disappear from her life and never speak another word to her, as she did to me all those years ago, or do I cut myself open and bleed all over the new life she has made for herself, letting her know that everything isn’t as okay as she thinks it is? I had been weighing these options for weeks prior to this final visit, but as I stand here and feel nothing but emptiness in her dimly lit living room, I realize that I don’t know what I should do.

This is a crossroads I never thought I would have to face. I always believed that the relationship between my mother and I could be repaired when we both were old enough and wise enough to make the appropriate steps towards reparation. But while I grew into a strong and independent woman, she remained the same sickly person that told her children that they were the reason she was leaving.

That day, I learned a valuable lesson. That day, I stood in front of her and felt absolutely nothing as she once again apologized for not being good enough for me. That day, I got in my car and drove the forty-five minutes back to my home and felt a strange sense of peace. I hadn’t done either of my choices. I hadn’t given her a piece of my mind, nor remained silent. For the first time, without having to say a word, my mother knew what I wanted to say. For the first time, she looked at me, saw me, and realized that I was done. I hadn’t done either of the choices, but I realized that sometimes the best answers are the most unexpected ones.

Ultimately, I never knew how the relationship with my mother would turn out. I never allowed myself to think of the future because I was too busy repairing the past. Those years of licking the wounds she so hazardously inflicted upon my adolescent brain were all I could do; it was my only purpose in life. I learned to heal myself, to function by myself, to do things only for myself. After so many years, I learned to live without her, just as she was starting to realize that she couldn’t live without me. That day was the first time I realized what the expression ‘too little, too late’ really means.

For once, I did something for myself. My mother has always been my greatest weakness, pulling on the heartstrings of the little girl that had only ever wanted her mom. I had always looked at what that little girl wanted, but I am no longer that little girl. If I continued holding onto the notion that I was, I would only continuously hurt myself. And for once, I realized that I deserve better.

Sometimes the right choice is unpredictable. Sometimes, you must hurt others to save yourself. And sometimes, when you are standing in the middle of the crossroads and two devils are beckoning you to answer their call, you get to laugh in their faces and turn away.

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magician-under-the-moonlight · 2 years

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Kaito Kuroba and Kenta Connery

Magic Kaito and the Dark Knight

Spoilers Ahead for one of the deepest and darkest moments in Magic Kaito, in case you’re watching the Anime or specials and / or reading the Manga and haven’t seen it yet. It’s the darkest episode if you’re watching MK standalone and is a major shift in tone compared to any of Kaito’s other adventures.

There will also be discussion about spoilers regarding Golden Eye and Red Tear.

I know Magic Kaito isn’t for everyone, but as someone who loves the series enough to dedicate a blog to interacting with and building Kaito’s character, I love Magic Kaito with all my heart.

Toward the end of the series is three big confrontations with characters that challenge Kaito’s most prominent ideals that have been built up as the story progresses: His legacy as a magician, following in his father’s footsteps and being a thief for a greater cause.

Ruby Jones challenged Kaito’s ideals that sometimes you have to do some bad to be the good guy. As Chat Noir (not from miraculous ladybug), she dedicated herself to retrieving the mementos of her father, which were falsely labeled as genuine artifacts from Marie Antoinette’s time. Ruby’s father was commissioned to create Cat’s Eyes accessories, and later committed suicide when his work was intentionally mislabeled.

Ruby tells Kaito that her mission is satisfied knowing the Cat’s Eyes won’t hit the market if they’re in his possession. Kaito returns the genuine article to Ruby, talking about how he empathizes with her motives to become Chat Noir. Both of them part ways knowing that their shared approach in doing what must be done for the greater good is reinforced rather than torn down for both of them, though he does challenge Ruby’s approach in being too reckless if Kaito hadn’t appeared as planned.

Jody Hopper challenged Kaito’s ideals toward upholding a family legacy, even if it had gotten the previous generation killed.

Jody and Kaito can relate deeply to loosing a loved one to their passion, as both Kaito’s father and Jody’s parents had died in stage fires. Although Toichi’s death was a murder, the death of Jody’s parents was an accident. Jody swore off performing magic after it killed her parents, while Kaito went in the other direction and continued to perform almost excessively in response to these events.

Jody continues to argue that she is fed up with magic, that it killed her parents, and the Red Tear gifted to her is cursed and good for nothing, ready to hand it over to the Pandora Syndicate without a fight. Kaito, who knows the Red Tear is not Pandora, intervenes and rescues Jody before she makes the mistake of handing it over.

Kaito in turn challenges Jody’s perception of magic and the Red Tear gemstone. He shows her the secret left to her by her late grandfather, the passion she held when she performed, and the smiles on the faces of her and those around her, things Magicians strive for when sharing their craft. Kaito convinces Jody to take another shot at performing, and to let the past go and be herself again.

Jack and Kenta Connery challenge the idea of following in the footsteps of someone less than morally sound, and as well as challenge the notion thought to be settled during the Cat’s Eye heist: doing bad things for the greater good.

As by far the darkest episode in the Magic Kaito universe, the thief known as Nightmare is manipulative, cunning and not opposed to killing to get what he wants. The impressions we get of Nightmare is that he’s evil and heartless, only using the people he teams up with and then throwing them away like trash. Legends circle around surviving the night with Nightmare leading to great fortune, and all who team up with him end up arrested or killed.

But the story goes so much deeper than that.

Jack Connery, who works with Interpol in universe and also doubles as Nightmare, has very noble motivations for what he’s doing. He loves his son to the point of wanting to do anything to save him, and with the cranial disease that’s slowly killing his son on the inside, he’s desperate for money and funding, leading him to twist his job and turn it on his head to get the most benefit possible in order to pay for his son’s surgery.

Teaming up with local thieves, taking half the loot and getting them arrested or killed so they no longer plague the streets.

Even if we don’t know that much about Kaito’s father, it’s becoming clear that Jack Connery is supposed to be a character foil for Toichi Kuroba and Nightmare to foil the original KID. A man with a son who steals and manipulates to protect their family and rid the streets of who they deem to be a darker evil through less than savory means.

Jack Connery is much more violent, much more desperate and much more irrational in his approach to his acting in darkness for the sake of the greater good. He uses underhanded tactics to keep himself from being incriminated for murder and his authority as an Interpol agent to turn the odds in his favor no matter who he teams up with.

It’s Kenta Connery who makes the bigger impact, though. The one that gets Kaito to question if he’s really doing the right thing on the deepest level. Kenta is the one who get’s Kaito to question if knowing about his father’s history is a good thing.

Nearing the end of the episode, Kaito is trying to reason with Jack. Trying to tell him that being Nightmare is pushing him too far, that he’s going to regret continuing on this path, to make it stop, for Kenta’s sake.

Kaito knows what it’s like to loose someone in this line of work. His father was killed for similar reasons. He wants to spare Kenta from this pain by trying to save Jack Connery in more ways than one, to get him to stop and think about what he’s doing. But Jack is irrationally desperate at this point, and nothing Kaito says is actually reaching him.

The only thing that gets him to stop is when Kenta calls out into the abandoned building for his Papa.

And in this desolate, destroyed, unstable meeting spot, Kaito finds himself relating to Kenta to the point where his own personal experiences begin to bubble under the surface of his poker face.

Jack Connery falls off the catwalk in the building at the sound of his son’s voice and falls, Kaito trying again to save him while holding him by the arm, demanding he let the jewels go so he can be pulled to safety, even after Jack tried to murder him, Kaito is dead set on trying to save him.

It turns out to be futile, as still irrational and out of control, Jack refuses to drop the jewels, and falls to his death as the last of his grip slips with Kaito’s glove, and he dies only moments before Kenta and the rest of the police.

Hearing Kenta coming, seeing Jack still wearing Nightmare’s mask, Kaito uses his card gun to unmask the man before Kenta arrives and sees the dark truth and his father’s criminal history. He then quickly leaves the building, not saying another word and clenching his fists, the sounds of Kenta crying for his father following him on his way out.

So why unmask Jack as Nightmare? Why not tell Kenta the truth?

Kaito was forced to put his mission and motivations into question during this confrontation more than any other heist he’s been on up to this point. Seeing how far gone and irrational Jack Connery had become stirred the seeds of doubt in Kaito. Jack was consumed by his mission and payed for it in the worst way.

Kaito himself may be too far gone himself at this point. Despite everything, he’s still KID, he’s still looking for a solution to the mess that made him KID, he’s still angry and upset and perhaps even just as irrational underneath his poker face. He’s too far gone in his own mission to give it up.

He wouldn’t want to wish that fate on anyone.

So he unmasks Jack before anyone can find out the truth about Nightmare. He doesn’t want Kenta to see the dark side of the father he looked up to with so much respect. He doesn’t want to stir Kenta into a rage that may end up making a second Nightmare.

With how deeply Kaito relates to Kenta, wanting to be like his father, follow in his footsteps, love him dearly to the point of fighting through the worst pain just to see him again, he knows that Kenta would take his father being Nightmare just as poorly as he’d taken his own father being KID.

Kenta and Jack Connery challenged his ideals toward being KID, and Kaito’s ideals lost. But he’s too deep into this now to give it up, even if it makes his heart ache. He’s just content he could save at least one of them from following him down the same path.

#[Scriptwriting | Headcanons]#tw: death mention

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getyourblisson · 2 years

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New Moon ~ June 29th, 2022

June 29th New Moon

The New Moon energy always magnifies our opportunities, and always favors what provides us with greater freedom, self-sufficiency, and possibilities. The choices that we make during this time will impact all of our existences. As a result, it is important that we pay extra attention to what we choose and do.

This New Moon is full of peace, unconditional love, and God’s energy. It is a time where people feel more at ease; and are able to bring challenges to a close. It is a time where relationships are favored; and those that begin or are consecrated or solidified during this time are likely to last a lifetime. People are prone to have a kind and generous heart; and desire to have fun and to celebrate those things that are going well.

There may however, be some challenges with people not paying much attention to what they are doing, or not communicating well. This is not a good time for making major decisions or signing contracts. It will always be best to make certain that things have been understood correctly; and that nothing has gotten missed due to getting distracted.

While people may want to not deal with any responsibilities today, doing so could be very detrimental for us. A lack of responsibility can create greater challenges for us; while being responsible can set us in a good position. When this polarity is present, I find that sometimes it is best to take care of the necessities early in the day. It can be helpful to work on the things that need to get done, that are more physical than mental in nature; or allows you to work from more of an intuitive instead of logical space. Either way, keep things practical; and work with what you have in hand; instead of spending a lot of money or getting too extravagant.

It is also important to take some time today to be in exploration, try new things, and to give yourself a little bit of adventure. It is a time to honor who you are and doing things the way that they work for you. Do not feel obligated to take others suggestions. This is your journey, and you must decide what is best for you.

This New Moon is also in Apogee or is a Micro Moon. This means that it is distant from the Earth; and so, it doesn’t influence us as much as at other times. Through this influence we are shown that it is important to do things that are favorable for humanity, animals, and Earth itself. It is time for us to consider the relationship that we are keeping with all forms of life and Earth; because where we are not working in harmony, we are likely to see chaos and disruption.

How we use our power at this time is very important; and if used wisely, we can create wonderful results, but if used unwisely we are likely to find ourselves in some sort of danger or taking a hard fall in life that makes life even harder for us. Greed and trying to take advantage of others is one of the ways that we are likely to see a misuse of power at this time.

It is important for us to be cautious at this time; because this is when people will try to get us to do things to “help the environment”; but really have nothing to do with that at all. It is all about manipulating us into giving up hope, freedom, and to sell out to things that are nothing less than “evil”. There can be attempts to lie to people and convince them they are doing something good; when all they are doing is supporting lies and turning their power over to those that don’t care about humanity or life on Earth at all.

It is important that we do not buy into these lies, or accept guilt, or engage in competitions that are really about tearing down our spirit. Learn the truth; because we are not being told the truth about our climate and the state of the Earth. Lies have been used to manipulate people through guilt. Know what you are supporting, before you support it.

I welcome you to be in peace and unconditional love. What if this allows you to complete challenges that have been wearing on you?

I welcome you to handle the things that need to get done in practical and responsible ways. What if this puts you in a good position; and allows you to have more fun and do more enjoyable things?

I welcome you to realize that you are not obligated to take the suggestions of others. What if it is best to honor what works for you?

I welcome you to consider the relationship that you are keeping with all forms of life on Earth; and Earth itself. What if a lack of harmony with Earth and the life forms on it invites in chaos and disruption?

I welcome you to learn if someone and something is truly beneficial for the environment; or if that is just a claim that is being made, which is not backed with facts and truth. What if some people want you to believe that you are hurting the environment when you are not; and that you are helping the environment when you are actually damaging it more?

The Code Journey ~ 2022 Edition

#The Code Journey #Jesse An Nichols George #compassion #consciousness #enlightenment #awareness #transformation #conscious living #practical spirituality #wholeness

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the-hem · 3 days

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Jesus and the Jews. From John 7.

Jesus Christ, the Embodied Supreme Being came to institute Shabbat and encourage mankind to envelope all of its citizens in equal rights and the benefits of God's Graces. The Pharisees argued with Him about this, claiming He should nurture His own people first.

Eventually they agreed with Jesus it was in the best interests of the Shule if He did what He came to do. They parted friends, leaving Jesus with some advice: explain yourself in greater detail, which He did during the Sermon on the Mount which follows John 7.

Antisemitism itself is such a strange phenomenon- the Book of John says the Rabbinate summoned Jesus, argued with him then let him go saying they blessed His Mission. The legendary rejection of the Jew that caused all of this trouble is not in the Gospels. It was pure imagination. Silly but true.

The Rabbis even say "We are not trying to kill you!!!" John even says the Temple Police were impressed with Jesus.

Things do not go well for Jesus later because mankind is savage and wanted to maintain its wicked behavior but the murder of Christ is not premeditated by the Gospels something has to be done to clear the record about the world's remaining Jews and their connection to the Christ which was accepted by the Rabbinate in the Book of John.

JOHN 7

Jesus and His Brothers

1After this, Jesus traveled around the country of Galilee. He did not want to travel in Judea, because the Jewish leaders there wanted to kill him. 2It was time for the Jewish Festival of Shelters. 3So his brothers said to him, “You should leave here and go to the festival in Judea. Then your followers there can see the miracles you do. 4If you want to be well known, you must not hide what you do. So, if you can do such amazing things, let the whole world see you do them.” 5Jesus’ brothers said this because even they did not believe in him.

6Jesus said to them, “The right time for me has not yet come, but any time is right for you to go. 7The world cannot hate you. But the world hates me, because I tell the people in the world that they do evil things. 8So you go to the festival. I will not go now, because the right time for me has not yet come.” 9After Jesus said this, he stayed in Galilee.

10So his brothers left to go to the festival. After they left, Jesus went too, but he did not let people see him. 11At the festival the Jewish leaders were looking for him. They said, “Where is that man?”

12There was a large group of people there. Many of them were talking secretly to each other about Jesus. Some people said, “He is a good man.” But others said, “No, he fools the people.” 13But no one was brave enough to talk about him openly. They were afraid of the Jewish leaders.

Jesus Teaches in Jerusalem

14When the festival was about half finished, Jesus went to the Temple area and began to teach. 15The Jewish leaders were amazed and said, “How did this man learn so much? He never had the kind of teaching we had!”

16Jesus answered, “What I teach is not my own. My teaching comes from the one who sent me. 17People who really want to do what God wants will know that my teaching comes from God. They will know that this teaching is not my own. 18If I taught my own ideas, I would just be trying to get honor for myself. But if I am trying to bring honor to the one who sent me, I can be trusted. Anyone doing that is not going to lie. 19Moses gave you the law, right? But you don’t obey that law. If you do, then why are you trying to kill me?”

20The people answered, “A demon is making you crazy! We are not trying to kill you.”

21Jesus said to them, “I did one miracle on a Sabbath day, and you were all surprised. 22But you obey the law Moses gave you about circumcision—and sometimes you do it on a Sabbath day. (Really, Moses is not the one who gave you circumcision. It came from our ancestors who lived before Moses.) Yes, you often circumcise baby boys on a Sabbath day. 23This shows that someone can be circumcised on a Sabbath day to obey the Law of Moses. So why are you angry with me for healing a person’s whole body on the Sabbath day? 24Stop judging by the way things look. Be fair and judge by what is really right.”

People Wonder if Jesus Is the Messiah

25Then some of the people who lived in Jerusalem said, “This is the man they are trying to kill. 26But he is teaching where everyone can see and hear him. And no one is trying to stop him from teaching. Maybe the leaders have decided that he really is the Messiah. 27But when the real Messiah comes, no one will know where he comes from. And we know where this man’s home is.”

28Jesus was still teaching in the Temple area when he said loudly, “Do you really know me and where I am from? I am here, but not by my own decision. I was sent by one who is very real. But you don’t know him. 29I know him because I am from him. He is the one who sent me.”

30When Jesus said this, the people tried to grab him. But no one was able even to touch him, because the right time for him had not yet come. 31But many of the people believed in Jesus. They said, “We are waiting for the Messiah to come. When he comes, will he do more miraculous signs than this man has done?”

The Jewish Leaders Try to Arrest Jesus

32The Pharisees heard what the people were saying about Jesus. So the leading priests and the Pharisees sent some Temple police to arrest him. 33Then Jesus said, “I will be with you a little while longer. Then I will go back to the one who sent me. 34You will look for me, but you will not find me. And you cannot come where I am.”

35These Jews said to each other, “Where will this man go that we cannot find him? Will he go to the Greek cities where our people live? Will he teach the Greek people there? 36He says, ‘You will look for me, but you will not find me.’ He also says, ‘You cannot come where I am.’ What does this mean?”

Jesus Talks About the Holy Spirit

37The last day of the festival came. It was the most important day. On that day Jesus stood up and said loudly, “Whoever is thirsty may come to me and drink. 38If anyone believes in me, rivers of living water will flow out from their heart. That is what the Scriptures say.” 39Jesus was talking about the Spirit. The Spirit had not yet been given to people, because Jesus had not yet been raised to glory. But later, those who believed in Jesus would receive the Spirit.

The People Argue About Jesus

40When the people heard the things that Jesus said, some of them said, “This man really is the Prophet.”

41Other people said, “He is the Messiah.”

And others said, “The Messiah will not come from Galilee. 42The Scriptures say that the Messiah will come from the family of David. And they say that he will come from Bethlehem, the town where David lived.” 43So the people did not agree with each other about Jesus. 44Some of the people wanted to arrest him. But no one tried to do it.

The Jewish Leaders Refuse to Believe

45The Temple police went back to the leading priests and the Pharisees. The priests and the Pharisees asked, “Why didn’t you bring Jesus?”

46The Temple police answered, “We have never heard anyone say such amazing things!”

47The Pharisees answered, “So he has fooled you too! 48You don’t see any of the leaders or any of us Pharisees believing in him, do you? 49But those people out there know nothing about the law. They are under God’s curse!”

50But Nicodemus was there in that group. He was the one who had gone to see Jesus before. He said, 51“Our law will not let us judge anyone without first hearing them and finding out what they have done.”

52The Jewish leaders answered, “You must be from Galilee too! Study the Scriptures. You will find nothing about a prophet coming from Galilee.”

Galilee means "cylindric scroll." Probably a reference to the Torah, which finished with references to Jericho not Galilee.

The reason Jesus was questioned about this is it has to do with the Lottery. The Promised Land was deeded in bits and proportions to the 12 tribes and 70 clans meaning, "a good recipe is 10% Reuben, AKA Leadership, 15% Shimon, "a good reputation", etc.

There are no mentions of Messianic personality types called Tribe of Galilee so those Rabbis were trying to tell Jesus a piece of His logic needed further definition. In my opinion, He did it in the Sermon on the Mount which he published right after the scene above. The Sermon on Mount Olivet is simply the most wonderfully blessed speech in the Canon, AKA "the cylinder scroll", or Galilee.

All scripture must follow the model that underpins the Torah, one which follows an upward spiraling staircase. The Gospels and Book of Mormon are not exceptions. The Rabbinate suggested to Jesus without following an upward cylindric structure, His teachings would be incomplete. At the top of every lesson in the West is Shabbat, Holy Communion, unity of sentiment between all men and the Spirit of God.

The Value in Gematria is the conclusion to this frame which takes place in John 8:1: 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

The Number is 3945, גטדה, gathada, "to prepare the wine press."

Perhaps Jesus took them seriously, and instituted the concept of the wine press we know but do not recognize overly much today.

To fabricate reasons to murder Jews based on the false preceptors of this Canon has to be addressed with serious thought and a potent response by the civilized world.

As a polemic, my argument which states that God, the Christ, the Rab, and the Shule collaborated to improve the chances man would enter more closely into the Presence of Grace confirms Jesus was an instrument of the Synagogue and not the other way around. This closes centuries of debate on this issue.

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