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pendragaryen · 1 year

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The 100 rewatch 2023 S1 E3

Episode “Earth Kills”

A word in advance: I always loved and appreciated the way they were playing around with the episode titles back then. Sadly it completely got lost in the translation into german. There the 2nd and 3rd (”Earth Skills” and “Earth Kills”) episodes titles are: “Wir sind nicht allein” which basically means “We’re not alone” and “Wozu man Freunde hat” which can be translated to “What friends are for”... See? The initial meaning got totally lost here. It’s frustrating. Therefore i’m only watching in english language. (The german voice actors aren’t the best either... so... it wasn’t a hard choice for me in the first place...) This just as a little info before i begin. ;) Now here i go, my Earth Kills-live rewatch is about to start!

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“Previously on The 1OO...” Oh Bob’s voice! NICEEE!

Awww... Flashback to happier days on the ark. The Wells- and Griffin-families are watching an old football match together. Also: MEET PAPA-GRIFFIN! Maybe it’s bc i’m getting older but... he’s quite the DILF isn’t he?! Haha... sorry... hormones..

Earth, now: Jasper is in so much pain. He’s screaming... Meanwhile little Charlotte is screaming too. She’s got nightmares. But there’s MOMMA BEAR CLARKE immediately tending to her. “Maybe being on the ground is our 2nd chance” Clarke’s trying not just to cheer up Charlotte but also herself...

Two kids of the 100 out alone in the woods for a little rendezvous. Oh! There’s the acid fog already! I forgot it came so early in the series. Poor kiddos... They just wanted to have some fun...

Asdfghjkl BELLAMY! Bellamy and his hatchet. Training and aiming at a tree. Hit me baby one more time... seriously... Bellamy and Murphy are unnerved by Jasper’s screams echoing through the camp. Atom thinks the screams are frightening the kids. Oh look! Murphy isn’t half as good as Bellamy aiming at that tree... lol nice try... Bell and the others want to go hunting.

Meanwhile in the dropship: Clarke’s worried. She tries to fix Jasper’s wound but it’s really a task of its own. Wells and Finn are helping.

O and Atom. She wants to sneak out of camp with him - but he doesn’t even reply. Oh... she has a certain suspicion now... She’s FUMING when she enters Bellamy’s tent, he’s preparing himself for the hunt. “You can’t keep everyone away from me!” He must’ve threatened Atom. She’s so done with this brotherly overprotectiveness..

Jasper’s screams cutting through their dispute and they’re both off to the dropship. There, Bell’s pessimistic: “That kid’s (Jasper) is a goner.” Clarke’s IMMEDIATELY in his face tho “DOWN HERE EVERY LIFE MATTERS!” - Bell wants to kill Jasper when he’s not getting any better within the day. “You don’t have the guts to make the hard choices. I do.”

Everyone is pissed or shook by his words, especially Monty “What a selfserving jackass!” but FINN (of all people...) defends Bell in a way “He also happens to be right...” Yeah well..

Flashback again. Abby and Jake are talking about the ark’s system failure he discovered. The ark is going to get out of oxygene in a forseeable future - which basically means certain death for the ark’s citizens. He wants to make it public but Abby’s desperately trying to hold him back.

On earth, now, Clarke’s found some herbs that could help with Jasper‘s wound. She, Wells and Finn go off into the woods to fetch some more. Oh look! They find an old car which basically stucks hidden in the ground.

Charlotte secretly followed Bellamy and the others on their hunting trip. OUPS! Bell almost hit her with his hatchet!!! Kiddo’s tough tho. She wants to stay, although the forest might be too dangerous for a little child. She even wants to hunt herself.

Meanwhile Clarke’s found some of the herbs in a river. But suddenly there are harsh noises: A swarm of birds coming towards the group! Then there’s kind of an alarm to hear, a siren. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! But they don’T have time to think about it bc a toxic looking storm cloud is rushing towards them!!! Like the birds before, they’re fleeing now too.

Flashback/The ark: Aw, baby Clarke and Wells playing chess together. Just besties having a good time. But Clarke’s worried. She’s telling him about the discovery her father made about the ark... and that he wants to go public with it! Wells reassures her “Your secret is save with me.” Mh...

On earth, now: The acid fog is everywhere now. Bell and Charlotte hurry to seek shelter in a cave together. In the dropship Octavia is worried “My brother is out there!”

Clarke, Finn and Wells find shelter in that old hidden car in the ground. Oh nice, there’s also an old bottle of whiskey. Finn immediately takes a sip. They have to sit out the storm anyway so they could as well have a drink.

It’s night now. In the cave Charlotte wakes up screaming again from a nightmare. But there’s DAD BELLAMY, reassuring her with his deep, hoarse voice. (Woah i mean it! It’s SO DEEP! I’m shivering... ) He’s probably used to similar situations with his sister back on the ark. “Slay your demons while you’re awake.” Oh-oh--

“Down here weakness is death, fear is death...” Well Bellamy... That’s some approach to soothe a kid after having a nightmare... But then he adviced her to hold on tight to her knife and face her fears: “ Screw you, i am not afraid!” The initial thought is nice. Seriously.......

Meanwhile in that hidden car: We learn, why Clarke’s hating Wells so damn much. “Remember the time when you betrayed me and got my father executed?” OUCH... That hits. She’s also drunken now. Wells defends himself “I made a mistake”. Kind of a weak excuse... Is he hiding something? Maybe?

Oh god... every word from Clarke hits now “If you were be my friend you would walk out into this fog and never come back...” Jesus... she’s so hurt and pissed.

In the dropship Murphy’s got enough, he wants to put an end to Jasper’s screams - and his life. Once and for all. But he’s been shut out from the higher deck by Octavia and co. Thank goodness..

Another flashback/The ark: Jake’s recording his message for the people of the ark and Clarke comes in witnessing it. They have an argument. Clarke’s so worried for his savety. But BOOM there are the guards already storming in, arresting Jake for treason... HOW COULD THEY KNOW?! It sinks in... Wells... right? shit... Clarke is screaming!

Earth, now: The acid fog is gone. Clarke and the others on their way back to camp. Finn confronts Wells about his betrayal on Clarke. Another weak reply: “I made a choice. And if she hates me for the rest of her life...” Ouch...

Bell and Charlotte are searching for the others of the hunting group in the forest. They meet. But where’s Atom?

Finn wants to play the referee between Clarke and Wells now. “How sure are you that Wells’s the one who turned in your dad?” He noticed that Wells might hide something... Clarke snaps back, she’s sure, she seemingly doesn’t WANT to forgive him - but you can see his words are gnawing on her. - Suddenly we hear Charlotte’s screams!

Charlotte has found Atom. He’s lying on the ground, gravely wounded and bleeding, visibly in heavy pain. Is that what the acid fog does to people?! Omg! Bell’s kneeling at his side, but he seems so overwhelmed by the situation. It’s clear to him: Atom won’t make it. It would be merciful to help him die... Atom even begs for it... Oh god... it hurts so much to see that guy suffer... But Bell’s just sitting there, the knife already in his hand, paralyzed and shook to the core...

And then Clarke appears behind him. He senses here before he sees her. She kneels down on Atom’s other side. She also notices very quickly that there’s no hope for Atom to survive this. Clarke flashes Bell a desperate look. There is no other way. OH GOD. I can’t even look at what comes next... but yes... i do it anyway...

Clarke takes the knife from Bellamy’s hand... and while humming a little lullaby to soothe him she plunged the blade into Atom’s neck, puts him out of his misery... And Charlotte’s witnessing it all... Oh-oh.--

Bell’s clearly and utterly impressed by Clarke’s doing. He’s almost in awe, can’t take his eyes off her. NOW WHO DOESN’T HAVE THE GUTS TO MAKE THE HARD CHOICES, HUH?! Bell’s seeing the princess with different eyes now. He’s got a lot of respect for her now. Nice for a change.

Back in camp Octavia’s mourning Atom’s death. She doesn’t want Bell to comfort her or any explanation and storms off crying. Bell IMMEDIATELY takes all his frustration about his inability to help Atom and the reaction of O onto Murphy, who’s just insulted Octavia. Suddenly there’s a lot of aggressive tension. But Murphy gives in. Good for him.

Flashback to the ark again: Jake’s about to be getting floated. Abby is desperate. Wells and his father are there too, of course. They can’t even look at the Griffins. Jake says goodbye to Abby, gives her his wedding ring. Oh gosh and suddenly Clarke’s there too, rushing into her father’s arms. She’s crying hard. Jake’s giving her his watch she’s later wearing in memory of him. Clarke doesn’t want to let go of him.

Just before he gets floated Jake only has eyes for the two women he loves, especially for Clarke. Then he gets sucked out into the vacuum. Very sudden, very fast.

Clarke’s breakdown in her mother’s arms is heartbreaking and hard to watch... Jesus i have to blink back tears, even though it might be already the 10th time i’m seeing this. This is so sad, gods...

Back in camp, today: Clarke’s tending on Jasper with the weeds she brought. He’s finally fallen asleep. - Out there Wells is digging graves yet again. Clarke appears, asking him right away: “It was my mom, wasn’t it?” She thought about it. What Finn was saying was probably just the last push she needed to come around. Maybe she didn’t want to see the truth until now. It’s too painful. Her own mother turned her father in... WHY?!

And Wells... Omg, good boy Wells took ALL THE BLAME on himself, just so that Clarke wouldn’t have to hate her own mom... Imma cry... What a selfless friend! Jesus, what you do when you’re in love... I’m speechless...

Oh, look! Jasper’s awake again! And he already wants a shot of moonshine... great... That’s not how you’re getting better, moron!

And then in the end... i feared it...

Charlotte and Wells... I see the bad moon rising. Seriously... Out of the blue inmidst an innocent talk... she’s STABBING HIM DOWN!!! She hit him with her knife! At the same spot, where Clarke had plunged her own knife into Atoms neck!!! Wells father killed her parents. His father’s face is what’s haunting her in her nightmares every night. “Slay your demons...” OH MY GOD... SHE TOOK THAT LITERALLY! Bell’s still got a lot to learn about parenting it seems... JESUS NO! NOT WELLS! Even after all this time i’m still cursing at my screen! WTF CHILD! - Well... What a LOST child... Completely broken. That’s not even fair on all fronts... It’s so controversial.

Bellamy had all the good intentions - and it lead to so much pain. That’s hard. But he couldn’t have forseen this! How could he? IT IS NOT HIS FAULT! But that doesn’t make things any better. It just HURTS to see Wells die in such a bad and unnecessary way! Right after he had been forgiven by his Clarke... I CANNOT... I admit it... I shed a tear. I’ll probably always do it at this point. Wells Jaha deserved better. And we all know it. Woah that’s quite a show we’re watching here. And it certainly makes you pensive.

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Tough stuff. But from now on... almost every episode is tbh. That’s the route we’re taking here. Serious shit’s happening - and is coming towards us. We know this now, at latest after finishing this episode. The mere THOUGHT that a kid should be capable of such a cruel act is almost unbearable. It‘s so hard to watch and it overpowers almost everything else that happened this episode. Jake’s death was very sad to see. But i understand why he had to try to warn the people, who are otherwise completely oblivious to what’s really going on with the ark’s survival systems. Also incisive: The mercy-killing of Atom... All these moments hit like a ton of bricks and make us, the audience, realize, what kind of show we‘re watching here. It’s dark and very disturbing but SO INTRIGUING and interesting you just want to watch further.

What i liked: Bellamy learns to respect Clarke, he even admires her for her courage. Wells and Clarke’s reconciliation.

What i disliked: Isn’t that obvious? Charlotte killing Wells. Jake’s death. Clarke and Wells fighting (with words). It’s not nice to see Atom die either...

Fave quote(s): “Maybe being on the ground is our second chance”

Song(s) i associate with the episode: “It’s the fear” by Within Temptation (”It's the fear, fear of the dark. It's growing inside of me, that one day will come to life. - Long ago it came to me and ever since that day, infected with its rage, but it ends today. ”)

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100foreverfiles · 2 years

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Hi Kabby fandom. Anyone still out there? I just rewatched some of The 100. Does anyone else still need Abby and Kane to live happily ever after? Well, I did.

But wouldn't the afterlife be awkward with Jake there? Maybe! Who would Abby choose? Would Marcus and Abby be allowed to find peace?

Let's find out.

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Title: May We Meet Again

Chapter 1: The Arrival

When Abby woke up, she was laying on her back on the ground with a bright light shining on her face. She groans, blinks as her pupils adjust. Shades her eyes with her hand and looks up. Is that the sun? Where I am?, she wonders. The ground is uncomfortable, uneven and bumpy. Something is poking at her back. She reaches underneath her to feel for it. A stick? Am I outside?

Her memory is hazy as things come into focus.

With a gasp, Abby remembers she had just been attacked. She bolts upright. Looks around, adrenaline pumping. But her attacker isn’t there. No one is there. She’s alone.

And she’s safe for the moment, apparently.

Abby takes a breath and starts to analyze her unfamiliar surroundings. This place looks like earth. Trees. A blue sky. The sun. But this is not a part of earth she has seen before -- it’s a dense green forest and the trees are taller than the ones she remembers from before. They’re massive.

She looks up at the treetops towering above her and, for a moment, allows herself to be awed by the sheer majesty and beauty of this forest.

Then she looks back to the ground and finds she’s sitting in the middle of a path that runs through these woods. It’s quiet here. The only sounds she hears are those of the occasional birdsong and of a gentle wind passing through the leaves, causing them to rustle.

Where am I?

Slowly, she stands up, trying to account for any injuries, and finding none. She passes a hand across her neck where she remembers the needle being jabbed into her but finds no indication of where that injection may have been.

What’s even odder is that she feels well. Really well, in fact -- like having just woken from a long, deep sleep, rested and healthy. There’s no headache, no hunger, no weakness and...no longing for her pills, Abby notices. That was a pain that had never fully gone away...until now. She feels like she did years ago, on the Ark, but somehow even better than that.

What the hell was going on?

---

Chapter 2: The request

2 hours earlier

Jake rides into the village, taking quick stock of who’s out and about today -- he’s looking for one person in particular. His eyes scan the people he sees. People are milling about, hauling supplies, heading back from the fields. This village looks much like his own. Though he’s only been here a couple of times over the years, it feels familiar in that way -- a similar layout but different buildings and structures. If things had been different, he might’ve ended up here, he thinks.

He pulls on his horse’s reigns, slowing things down to a walk, then stops and dismounts, leading the horse to the center square where it can be tied up while Jake continues his mission.

He’s here to find Marcus Kane. Today is important. And time is of the essence.

But Kane has found him instead. From the corner of his eye, Jake sees the shape of his old friend approaching as he finishes up with the horse.

“Jake,” says Marcus Kane, walking up to Abby’s husband. Or former husband might be more correct, Marcus thinks to himself. “I was expecting you.”

“Hi Marcus,” Jake says, sizing up the man who apparently won the heart of his long-lost wife years ago. Though the two had lived alongside each other in neighboring villages ever since they each came to this place -- Marcus, more recently, of course -- they had not yet met up.

Neither had any real interest in rekindling their friendship from the days of the Ark, not with the matter of Abby now in the way. Marcus naturally imagined Jake would resent him for the relationship. And Jake, truth be told, sort of did when he first heard about it. It was hard enough to live with what Abby had done, but that she had found love with the enemy? That would take time to get over.

As it turned out, all they had here was time. Jake created a life for himself. And found his way to forgiveness. But not so much that he wanted to be friends with Kane again.

“You heard? She’s coming,” Marcus said, skipping the formalities.

Jake was here -- which Marcus knew meant he wanted to meet his wife again when she arrived. Abby was due in a matter of hours. Too soon, they both knew. She must have not left the last world by natural means. Marcus hoped her exit had at least been quick and painless.

“Yes,” said Jake. “That’s why I want to talk to you.”

Marcus stared back at Jake, a dark expression on his face. He knew this day would come.

As much as Marcus wanted to see Abby again, he knew he may also have to lose her as soon as he got her back -- to Jake. After all, this was the man Abby had married, the father of her child. The man who’s ring she wore around her neck for years. And who was he, Marcus Kane? A bond she made amid a torturous existence. Something to hold onto as a matter of survival. Was that enough, now that fighting for survival would not be her future here? Maybe? But probably not.

“Marcus,” Jake began. “Look, I know we haven’t spoken about this.”

Marcus didn’t respond, just shrugged and gave a small nod. It is what it is.

“You know I’ve heard that you and Abby were together. And...” he paused, trying to put together his words. This was awkward. “I mean, I don’t quite get it -- she didn’t even like you!”

To that, Marcus gave the slightest of smiles. A nearly imperceptible lift of his lip was all that gave it away. He remembered Abby yelling at him on the ark. Breaking the law to keep you from becoming Chancellor was the easiest decision I've ever made!

Abby had been so fierce then. How he loved her for it.

How her opinion had changed over the years. He remembers her later placing the Chancellor pin in his hand. This should be yours, she said. She had believed in him then.

Their love and trust took time, and it had been worth it. Despite everything else, it was his last life’s saving grace.

But now Jake was here to make sure Marcus and Abby didn’t get another chance, it seems. He would turn this place of paradise into Marcus’ own personal hell.

Because Jake was obviously here greet Abby on arrival and lead her away. He wanted a do-over, too.

Or at least that’s what Marcus believed.

“That was a long time ago,” Marcus said to Jake, responding to his comment as to how Abby would have ever chosen him, a man she had disliked. “Things changed. We changed.”

“I guess you did,” Jake concluded, looking at him and wondering what Abby saw. Did she like the scruffy beard? Was it just a sexual thing? He put the thought out of his mind.

“Anyway, listen, I need to see Abby today. And I need to see her first. Before you and everyone else.”

“That’s not how it’s done,” Marcus responded calmly. “You know that. Everyone goes together. They need to see everyone when they arrive here to make it real.”

“No one greeted me and I was fine,” Jake pointed out.

Marcus didn’t know that. Was that common knowledge around here? Jake had said it like he assumed Marcus knew. He knew Jake arrived somewhere else before he came to the village, but never gave it much thought. Actually, Marcus tried very hard to not think about Jake at all, if truth be told.

“Abby will get that it’s real when she sees me,” Jake stressed. “I need to talk to her. It’s important.”

“We all have important things to say to her, Jake,” Marcus replied. He had much to say, too. He had rehearsed it.

“I know but, look, I need to do this now. For her. And for me...I need to forgive her for floating me so she can move on and find her peace. And I need to ask for her forgiveness as well. I know I put her in that position -- where she had to make a choice -- and I allowed Clarke to be dragged into it, too,” said Jake.

Marcus didn’t argue. He agreed with Jake’s assessment of the matter. Though he never said as much to Abby, Clarke was on that drop ship because of her father’s actions. But he let Abby blame him instead. After all, he was sending the kids to the ground. You got your extra air, Abby had growled at him after Clarke was hauled away. It was easier for Abby if he was the bad guy so she didn’t have to hate Jake for what he did. And it’s not like sending kids to a possibly unsurvivable earth was a good thing, so it seemed like a fitting role for him anyway.

Marcus continued listening to Jake’s pleas.

“My death wasn’t all on her -- or you, or Jaha. Or the Ark’s laws. It’s also on me. And she needs to know that,” Jake said. “She needs that information.”

That’s true, Marcus thought. And he’s glad Abby will finally get the chance to hear it.

“You can tell her that, Jake. When she gets here. But you don’t need to go first,” Marcus rebutted, still trying to stay calm and rational as his anxiety over the Jake and Abby reunion intensified.

He knew Jake would come today. But Marcus hoped that Abby would at least give him a chance. Her relationship with Jake was years ago. But she only just lost Marcus. Maybe she’d choose him? He knew it was implausible when Jake was her other option — but it was that last thread of hope he was hanging on to. And he wasn’t going to let it go because Jake was asking nicely for a head start.

“Listen, Marcus,” said Jake. “I am not here to rekindle anything with Abby, if that’s what you’re thinking. She moved on,” he gave Marcus a pointed look. “But I did as well.”

Marcus’ eyes widened. Jake saw the glimmer of hope they contained.

Jake paused, wondering how much he wanted to share with Marcus about the person who’s now become the most precious thing to him in this new world.

He decided to keep it high level.

“I can’t be with Abby. I’m with…someone else. There was someone here for me -- someone now special to me in a way that I can’t even explain,” Jake said, his voice filling with emotion, thinking of his new love. “I’m not leaving her for Abby. But… I do need to do this for Abby. I need to have this moment and we need to say goodbye. We both need closure.”

Marcus’ heart skipped a beat. If Jake was now in love with someone else...maybe he would have a chance after all?

But quickly his realist and pessimistic nature took over again.

Oh c’mon, it’s Abby!, Marcus chided himself. Whatever Jake feels now could still change. He will see Abby again and…that will be it. He’ll want her back and she’ll feel the same. How could they not? How could anyone give up on Abby? He never would.

Could a love like Abby’s and Jake’s even ever die?, he wondered. It had been very real. Marcus knew that. He had been there to watch it bloom and grow on the Ark. He remembered them together, glowing, happy, holding their new baby -- Clarke. He remembered them always touching, laughing. They had been the ideal couple.

Meanwhile, he and Abby never really had a chance to sustain happiness -- there was always something stopping them…some new challenge to overcome. And then Abby took the pills and things got even worse. He tried to save her from herself and failed. She tried to save his life and failed, resorting to the atrocity of stealing a new body he could not accept. He left her then. He floated himself. And would she ever forgive him for that?

There was a time on the Ark when Abby and him had been friends. Childhood friends. But they went their separate ways. Abby didn’t choose him all those years ago when Jake entered the picture and it’s doubtful she’d do so now, not with Jake here again , Marcus told himself. After all, she would have remained happy with Jake if her husband hadn’t gotten it into his head to create chaos on the Ark by telling everyone the truth, threatening their future. Or what they thought at the time was the future of the human race.

That was a forgivable offense in terms of the heart. It just wasn’t forgivable by Ark law. Abby and Jake would get past it. All it would take is one apology, one conversation —the conversation Jake was asking permission to have now, before anyone else got a chance to say anything. Before Abby even saw anyone else. Before she saw him.

“Jake,” Marcus began. “Whatever you need to say to Abby can be done today. I promise. And while you may think you love...uhh...”, he paused, realizing he didn’t know Jake’s new lover’s name.

“Emily,” Jake supplied.

“And while you may love Emily now, Abby was your wife. There’s always a chance that you’ll feel differently when you see her again. But what’s more, this just isn’t how it’s done. We all go together. So she’s not alone. There’s a purpose in that.”

“Marcus, please,” Jake begged. “I don’t want to do this in the crowd -- I’m just asking for a few minutes alone with Abby before everyone gets together. Then you can all greet her. I’m not staying here for that. I’m not doing the whole ‘welcome home’ party thing you all do here, either. I told Emily this is something I just need to do -- and she understands. But I’m coming home to her.”

“Marcus, you know this is right. Abby deserves my forgiveness. It took me awhile to get there. But I’m there. And I know she can’t move forward in peace here without it,” he added.

Marcus thought for a moment then spoke. He didn’t trust Jake. He had always thought him a stable guy, devoted to the greater good of saving humanity. But his last actions were those of a radical. Of someone not willing to think things through. Or even discuss it. He knew he’d die, abandoning his wife and child. Marcus couldn’t imagine it. He only left Abby because he was already dead. He saw his body. He wasn’t really Marcus anymore.

“Jake, we knew each other a long time ago,” Marcus began. “But you betrayed us with your mission of truth at the end -- so I’m now not sure I ever really knew you at all. Because I would have never guessed you would have done something like that. Without considering the consequences of your actions. And I don’t know if you’re considering them now,” he paused, adding, “…and I also don’t know if I believe you when you say that’s all you want today — just a chance to talk with Abby. Maybe you you want to believe that, I don’t know,” Marcus said. “But if you really loved Emily, you wouldn’t risk being the first person Abby sees today You don’t know what that may do to her or to you.”

Jake sighed. He was not getting through. He changed tactics.

“Regardless of whether you believe me or not -- don’t you want this to be Abby’s choice?,” Jake pushed, becoming more insistent. “Really, what’s your plan, Marcus? If I’m here for what you think I am here for, do you think it’s actually better for her see both of us at once, and have her choose in front of everyone? Break your heart or mine in front of a crowd?!,” Jake said, raising his voice in frustration.

“Or maybe you think I should just go away, so she’ll only see you?,” Jake asked. “So you can live your happily ever ever until ... until what? Until she finds out a few weeks later I’m only a couple of miles away and you didn’t even tell her? And that’s going to be better for her? Or for you?”

Jake had a point. The other options weren’t great either. There was no easy or good way to do this. This was complicated. They were both here. There would always be someone Abby loved more. And if it was Jake, maybe it would be better if they just saw each alone and left together…alone.

Plus, the humiliation of losing Abby to Jake might be the kind of thing he’d rather not have done in front of the whole town, Marcus guessed.

“Okay,” Marcus said at last, giving in. He didn’t want this, but Jake’s arguments made sense. “You can go first.” He exhaled. Abby should have a chance to decide. A choice. She should have Jake’s forgiveness. And yes, this plan of Jake’s might see her finding love with her former husband again.

It was a risk but one he owed it to Abby to take. For her happiness. Even if it means he lost. Even if it means he lost her.

Marcus turned away from Jake and spoke his last words, not meeting Jake’s eyes.

“I loved her, too, you know.” Marcus said quietly, then walked away.

Jake didn’t know what to say to that. He just stood there and watched Marcus go — a man looking defeated and broken.

Kane really thinks I’m trying to take Abby back, Jake thought.

And he gave up his own shot at happiness so Abby could decide. Even if her choice was not Marcus Kane.

I guess he really did love her, Jake said to himself, wondering if he would have done the same thing had he had been in Marcus’ shoes. Probably not.

---

Chapter 3 The apology

Abby surveyed the path. There were no markers, no signs. No sounds from either direction. She had no idea which way to go, but figured she should pick one and try it. Surely it had to go somewhere?

But just as she started walking, she heard a noise. Footsteps. Someone was approaching her! She whirled around -- the noise had come from behind her. She watched as a figure emerged from around the bend in the path, behind the trees.

“Oh my god!” Abby exclaimed, frozen in her tracks as the man approached.

“Jake?” The figure had become her husband. A man who she last saw floating out into space.

The man stopped, seemingly taken aback himself even though he knew he would see her here. It was a wonder to see Abby again after all this time. Marcus was right about that.

“Hi Abby,” Jake said.

Abby took a step backwards, confused. Frightened. This wasn’t real. What was happening?

“No, no! You’re dead!,” she shouted. “I saw you get floated! You’re dead!”

“Abby,” Jake said quietly, taking a tentative step closer. “So are you. So are you.”

“What?! No!,” Abby stumbled, taking another step away from her husband who couldn’t really be her husband. “No!”

“What is this? Some trick? A dream?,” Abby said. She was panicking. “Drugs? I’m hallucinating?”

Jake now realized that maybe there was a reason why everyone greeted the new arrival as a group. Maybe this had been a bad idea.

“What’s the last thing you remember Abby?” he prompted, hoping to ground in her in this new reality. He stopped approaching her.

Abby thought about the needle jabbing into her neck. Seeing Jackson’s face, twisted in horror as she fell. Him shouting “no!” The floor coming into contact with her face. Then nothing.

“A needle…in my neck.” She tried to find any memories of what came next. But there were none. Just darkness.

“You died,” Jake said.

“No….I…I’m dead?” Abby repeated, processing the words. She took a breath. “I’m dead?,” she said again, as she toyed with the idea, realizing it felt right. It felt true. She grew quiet. I’m dead, she thought. But she felt alive. How?

“How are you here? Why are you here?,” she asked the man. “Jake…is that really you?”

“It’s really me, Abby,” Jake said, smiling. Jake’s face lit up. The dazzling smile that had made her fall for him years ago. It seemed real, too. It was him, wasn’t it?

“Jake?” Abby stepped towards him, hesitantly. Could this be real? He reached for her and pulled her into his arms.

It felt real. If this was him…

“I’m sorry Jake,” Abby began to sob as he held her. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!,” she breathed the words in between gasps and cries, her head buried into his chest. It was all she could say. The feel of his arms around her was familiar, but after all those years with Marcus, it also felt wrong.

Still, she had needed to say this for so long. She needed him to hear her.

“I know, I know,” Jake said, comforting her.

They spent a few minutes like that until Abby regained her composure enough to say more than just two words.

Finally, she spoke.

“What’s happening, Jake? Why I am here? Where is here? Why are you here?”

There were too many questions for Jake to respond to them all. He started with the most important one.

“Abby, I came here today to say this-- I forgive you and...”

“No,” Abby protested, cutting him off. “I should have never...it’s my fault.” The tears rolled down her cheeks.

“I put you in a terrible position, Abby,” Jake said “I thought I was doing the right thing. But so did you. You thought you were saving everyone. You didn’t believe Jaha would float me -- you thought he’d convince me to stop. This wasn’t your fault Abby.”

“No, it was. It was!,” she cried.

“No. Abby. It was not,” he said a bit more forcefully. “It was mine. There was another way -- and you found it after my death, didn’t you?”

“No! I did it your way, Jake. I broke the rules. Just like you did! You were right all along!”

“And Kane didn’t float you for it?” Jake asked, somewhat incredulously.

Kane. Abby’s mind went to Marcus at the mention of his name. Is he here too? She forced herself to refocus on Jake’s words.

“He…,” Abby paused, remembering. “He argued against it,” she said softly, recalling Jaha’s gesture towards Marcus as he explained how the council had been convinced to spare her life. It wasn’t me, Jaha told her. Apparently Jake’s message awoke their better angels as well. Jaha looked at Kane when he said “their,” conveying with his eyes who had fought to save her.

Abby was confused then, but she understood it now.

“It doesn’t matter,” Abby said, trying again to push thoughts of Marcus out of her mind. “I’m the reason you’re dead,” Abby stated.

“No, Abby. Even if my plan went through, I’d still have been floated. I was going to be floated no matter what... I did that. I chose that. I chose that... that plan, that cause, over you. Over Clarke. Over our family. It was my fault, and getting Clarke involved -- risking her life too!! -- it’s I who needs your forgiveness, Abby. Can you see that?”

Abby shook her head, unwilling to unload this burden she had carried around for so many years. Her guilt was not easy to let go of.

“No,” she said, looking at the ground. She pulled away from him. “No.”

“I was going to die, Abby. I knew that. You know that. No matter what. I believed it was something worth dying for. But I should have stayed. For you. For Clarke. I chose the wrong thing. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

He lifted her chin up. Forcing her to look into his eyes.

Abby frowned, considering his words. Jake apologizing to her was so unexpected.

“Forgive me, Abby.”

There was a long silence. She allowed herself to feel a touch of the anger she had back when Jake had first told her of what he meant to do. She had been wrong — but maybe they had both been wrong. Maybe there was no right way.

She realized she could allow Jake to take some of the blame.

“I suppose we could forgive each other,” Abby ventured. It was the best she could do. Jake needed this, apparently. Admittedly, she did too.

Jake smiled again, a bit more wistfully this time. How could I have not chosen her back then?, he wondered to himself.

“It’s done,” he said. “We’re forgiven.”

He pulled Abby close again. And for a moment, they just stood there, awash in the mutual release of their respective pains…In the solitude of their own thoughts of what could have been, what they had lost.

Abby pulled back from Jake again. There was more she needed to know. Like where Marcus was! — but she knew she couldn’t lead with that.

“Jake, what is this place?”

“That’s a loaded question,” he said, with a laugh.

She looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

“It’s hard to explain it all right now. In simple terms, it’s another world, one where your life continues. And it’s an easier life, without so much suffering. But there’s more to it than that.”

“It’s...the afterlife?,” Abby asked.

“I’m not sure it fits in the definition we understand of what the afterlife is. It’s not a heavenly world, and no god or gods have appeared to us, in case you’re wondering.. It’s a very real place. But a transitional one.”

“Transitional? So it’s temporary?”

“No, Abby. As in, a resolution to this life before the next.”

“I don’t understand,” she said, shaking her head.

“It takes time to understand. And no one fully does,” Jake admitted. “But you will be here and then one day, a long time from now, you will go.”

“What about right now? Do I go somewhere...do I go with you?,” Abby asked.

“Well,” Jake paused. He’d have to tell her about Emily. Marcus was wrong on this, as it turned out. He had loved Abby, that was true. He still did, but not like he loved Emily. He loved Emily in a way that surpassed all his memories of Abby. In a way that felt destined. And maybe it was.

“I guess that’s up to you,” Jake said, slowly. He knew he had made his choice, but he wanted to know what Abby would choose. Would she want to be with him, or did she really love Marcus Kane?

“What?,” asked Abby.

“I guess the question of what you want to do next is up to you,” Jake replied. He pointed down the path ahead of them. “Down that way is a village filled with your family and friends. And I live a bit down that way,” he said pointing in the other direction -- the way he had come. “There are more people in my village from the Ark, too. And others who I met here,” he said, a vague reference to Emily. “They are both good places. But there’s also a wide world out there beyond this valley, if you want to be alone.”

“You’re not with my family and friends?,” Abby asked, confused. “Wouldn’t they be your friends, too? Do you not even see them? That doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, I do see them. We meet up every so often. And they come to visit me,” Jake explained. “Jaha and I even hashed it out, too. We’re good now.”

“Jaha’s here?” Abby exclaimed, and then wondered again about Marcus. “And you forgave him?!”

“Yes,” Jake answered. “I needed to. But I don’t go to his village much. There’s, well, there’s a particular ‘friend’ in his village who.... uh, let’s just say it would have been a bit awkward for us to hang out...you know, considering...”, Jake fumbled for the words.

“I guess what I’m saying is...Abby, I know about Marcus,” he said at last. “I mean you and Marcus. And he’s there. In Jaha’s village.”

Abby’s heart soared again at Marcus’s name. He was here? Could this be true? Was he just steps away from her, looking and feeling as real as Jake does, standing before her now?

“Marcus is here?” she asked hopefully. Jake nodded.

More tears sprang to her eyes. She would see him again!

“Oh my god,” she breathed. A cry escaped her throat. She felt herself beginning to break down. He’s here!

But quickly, Abby realized who she was reacting in front of, and how this must feel to him. She reigned in her emotions as best she could.

“Jake, I’m sorry -- I just...I never forgot you but I just...,” Abby tried to explain. How can she tell him this truth? That Marcus is the only one she wants to be with in this new life -- or whatever it is? All she wants is him.

“It’s okay Abby,” Jake replied, looking less upset than she would have expected. “I mean, I had trouble believing it. Kane of all people!” He laughed at this.

Abby smiled, but started her defense.

“You don’t understand. After the Ark...we went to the ground....our lives…They were hard. Terrible even. There was so much suffering and pain.”

“But what Marcus and I had together was special, hard-won -- one of the only things, besides Clarke, worth living for. He was a good man, Jake. Different from the one you knew. He tried to do right. He became my ally. My partner. He took care of me. We fought for each other. We survived because of each other. We loved each other.”

“I love him,” she corrected herself, realizing he may not be gone anymore.

Jake’s face was stoic as her heard her out.

“I’m sorry, I know this must be hard to hear,” Abby continued. “And it’s not because I didn’t love you,” Abby said, placing her hand on Jake’s arm. “I wore your ring around my neck for years. In many ways, I’ll always love you. You were my husband and Clarke’s father. We will always be a family. We had something special, too. But with Marcus..I love him in a different way, Jake. We worked for what we had, if that makes sense. We earned it.”

Jake nodded. It had been hard to hear how much Abby loved someone else, actually. But he was also happy for her because he knew what she meant.

He and Emily had earned their love, too. They hadn’t arrived to a crowd of loved ones when they got here. They had each arrived here alone, with only the other one -- a stranger -- to greet them. Together they had to find their way through the wilderness of this world. Survive off the land, find a path forward, overcome obstacles. It took them a long time to find this place, their village, this part of the world.

Like Abby and Marcus, Emily had fought for Jake’s survival and he hers. This world didn’t have unusual suffering, but you could still die here -- of hunger, of dehydration, of cold, of injury. In the village, those things were impossible because there was plenty of everything to be had. And no one fought.

By the time Jake and Emily finally made it to the village, they knew the truth -- they were destined for each other, and their journey was designed to create that bond — a bond that was also different from what he and Abby had.

He and Abby had been a young love. A first love. It was precious in its own way. But it was not the same.

“Abby,” Jake began. “If I asked you to come back to me now, you’d say no, right?”

“I’m sorry, Jake,” Abby said softly. “But I would say no. Wherever Marcus is, that’s where I need to be.”

“That makes this easier then,” Jake admitted. “The truth is, I am with someone else, too. I couldn’t have asked you anyway.”

Abby looked up. “Oh?”

“Her name is Emily. And I met her here, unbelievably.” Jake said, smiling as he pictured her in his mind’s eye.

“And you’re happy?,” Abby asked, though the answer was written on his face.

“Yes,” said Jake.

“Then I’m happy for you.” She smiled back.

Ch 4: Jaha’s council

“You’re just letting her go?,” Jaha asked with surprise.

Marcus had caught him up -- explained why the village — Abby’s friends and family — wouldn’t immediately greet her today. Her parents were concerned, of course, but Marcus easily convinced them it was for the best. He was still a good negotiator, as it turned out.

“I’m not letting her go, I’m giving her a choice,” Marcus said.

“Marcus, that’s crazy. In the next few minutes, she’ll arrive, find out she’s dead and see her dead husband standing in front of her,” Jaha argued. “She won’t even be in her right mind to make this kind of choice -- she’s going to be overwhelmed.”

“And besides,” Jaha continued. “We’re all supposed to be there -- it’s calming for the new arrivals. Thats how they understand they’ve left their old life and are in a better place. But Jake is not her ‘better place’ -- he’s a pain she’s carried for years.”

“I know but...,” Marcus said, his sentence drifting off, as doubt seeped in.

“You should be there,” Jaha said forcefully. “At the very least. If not all of us. Allow her that comfort. She needs to see someone she loves.”

“I’m allowing her to choose Jake if that’s what will make her happy,” Marcus said with a resigned sigh.

“You’re an idiot,” huffed Jaha.

Marcus didn’t respond. Maybe he was.

“Look, you agreed to let Jake go first,” Jaha said after a moment, clearly not giving up on this.

“So fine, he sees her first. Gets to apologize or whatever it is he wants to do,” Jaha continued. “But you didn’t say you wouldn’t come at all. You didn’t say you wouldn’t interrupt them. And you do not have to let her leave with him -- you can go there and offer her another option.”

Marcus thought about this, but didn’t respond.

“Marcus, I mean, really…if Jake decides he wants her back, will he even let her know you’re here?,” Jaha asked. “That her parents are here? And you don’t get to make a case for yourself? Is that really a solid plan?”

Marcus considered what Jaha was saying.

Jake would tell Abby she had options, right? If Jake decided Abby was more important to him than Emily, that is -- and how could she not be? it’s Abby! — surely he’d still tell Abby who else was here? That he, a man she had also loved, was here, too? It’s not like he could hide it, right?

“I don’t know,” Marcus admitted.

“Marcus, it’s not that hard,” Jaha said. He had become quite the romantic himself after meeting up again with his own soulmate, his wife, here. “You love Abby. You love her and she’s coming here. You should go to her because…because she’s here,” he paused, as they both sensed that unexplained feeling that comes alongside a new arrival. “She’s here right now.”

“Right there,” Jaha said pointing towards the woods outside the town.

Marcus stood up. He felt her presence. He realized was going to be impossible to resist going to her. It was impossible not to fight for her. To run to her. To hope against all hope that she loved him more than Jake, somehow, still. He had to try.

“I just wanted her to have a choice,” Marcus said, dejectedly, looking down at Jaha from where he stood. “But I guess I do need to be there when she makes it, for better or worse.”

Marcus walked away from the table where they were sitting and towards the town’s gates. Within a few minutes, he had disappeared into the woods.

Chapter 5 Is this goodbye?

By the time Marcus heard the distant sounds of voices, Abby and Jake had forgiven each other, embraced again, and were saying their goodbyes.

Marcus couldn’t make out their words. He stepped slower, as the sound of their the voices became clearer. He caught a glimpse of them from behind the trees.

The sounds crystalized into words.

“Really, I’m happy how this worked out,” Abby was saying. “To know that you have another chance at love...That we both do,” she added, thinking of Marcus.

“Yes,” said Jake, hugging her tightly. “It was meant to be, I think.”

Marcus drew in a breath at their words, looking at them from his hidden position. He saw Jake and Abby in each other’s arms, expressing their love. His throat tightened and tears sprung up into his eyes. He knew it! He knew this would happen! How could Jake see Abby again and not want to hold her like that? How could he not love her?

Marcus turned to walk away. He didn’t hear Jake and Abby’s final words. He didn’t hear their goodbyes. He didn’t see Jake turn and walk away or Abby start making her way down the path towards him.

He saw nothing but the ground in front of him, through his watery eyes. His chest felt tight. He had to stop and try to catch his breath so he wouldn’t cry out loud and give away his position as an eavesdropper. He wanted to scream. Yell. Fall to the ground. All those days of hoping to see Abby again -- and this what he got. Nothing. Another loss.

Maybe this is his hell -- maybe he’s being punished -- maybe he’s being rightfully punished -- for everything he had done. Nothing could hurt like this. Nothing. Maybe this is what he deserved, he thought.

Lost in self hatred and despair, he didn’t hear Abby’s approach.

He jumped at the voice behind him. Quiet, raspy, but hopeful, it asked:

“Marcus? Is that you?”

Chapter 6 Redemption

“Abby?” Marcus turned, in confusion. Wasn’t she just leaving with Jake? How is she here?

Abby’s hand flew to her mouth as she gasped, once again, at seeing a lost loved one before her. And not just any loved one: Marcus. Marcus Kane. He was here. Alive again!

Her face crumpled. But these were happy tears. She ran to him as fast as she could, barreling into him, and threw her arms around his neck. And he, still shocked, hugged her back, while trying to work out what was happening. She changed her mind?

“Marcus, oh my god,” Abby was crying. “I can’t believe this is real. That you’re here.” Abby looked up into his eyes, her hands on his face.

“Abby,” he breathed. He couldn’t form any other words. His carefully rehearsed speech was lost. “Abby.”

“I love you so much, I thought I lost you. I did lose you! Oh my god,” Abby cried. She leaned forward and kissed him. He responded, forgetting all his confusion because nothing mattered but the fact that she was here, in his arms, kissing him.

Her hands were in his hair. He tasted her tears on his lips. She pulled him closer. They didn’t need words. They were together. But Marcus was still confused. Abby noticed.

She paused and analyzed his face.

“Why do you look so surprised to see me? Shouldn’t I be the one in shock?” she said, laughing. “I mean, I just found out I died. And you look like I’m the most unexpected thing you’ve ever seen!”

“You knew I was coming, right?,” she asked.

“I...” Marcus said, wondering how to explain.

The truth, he realized, was the best plan.

“I thought you’d left with Jake. I came to see you and...you were embracing. Talking about a second chance for love. So I left. I thought you had made your choice.”

“Marcus,” Abby sighed, with a touch of frustration. “I was talking about you. And he has a second chance, too -- someone named Emily, I guess? We were happy for each other. But we were saying goodbye.”

She contemplated how Marcus could have misinterpreted the scene. Understandable. Still, how could he doubt their love? She voiced the concern out loud.

“Marcus, how could you think that I wouldn’t choose you?,” Abby asked, a touch of hurt in her voice.

The tears of pain that had been in Marcus’s eyes just moments ago were pushed out now by tears of joy.

“I didn’t know...I didn’t know for sure. I’m sorry,” he said, responding to the worry he saw in her eyes. He never wanted to cause her more suffering. Never again. “I didn’t think I deserved this happiness.”

“You never really understood how much I loved you, did you?,” Abby asked, rhetorically.

“I left you, didn’t I? Those damned pills I took. I loved you but it wasn’t enough to save me, and you thought that meant you were not enough, right?” She caressed his face, as she spoke. If only she could take back what she had done to him, too.

“But Marcus, I did stop them, remember? Because I couldn’t lose you. Please understand, I will always choose you with my heart and with my soul. I love you…more than anything…In all our lives, apparently.”

“I love you, too,” Marcus said, his heart aching for her after that explanation.

He pulled her back to him, and kissed again this time without the pang of doubt he felt before. She responded, wordlessly confirming the truth she had spoken. The depth of her feelings.

Marcus’ thoughts cleared as they took a breath. He realized he still had something to say to Abby, too. Something he needed to make right.

“I’m sorry. I left you too,” Marcus said, remembering his last look at her face, the pain he had caused, as he floated into space and took his final breath. He hadn’t wanted her to see him leave. I can’t do this again, she had once told him. He wanted to spare her that sight.

“No, you were right -- I shouldn’t have done what I did to save you,” Abby said. “You were doing what needed to be done. I would have never let you go, no matter what lines I had to cross,” she confessed. “You made it right. But it was unbearable for me. Your loss was unbearable.”

Marcus pulled her closer, running his hand across her back. Was it possible to never let her go now? He aimed to try.

“If I had know I could follow you here, I would have floated myself,” Abby admitted.

Though he understood what she meant, the thought terrified him.

“I didn’t want you to die -- I wanted you to live a long and healthy life. With Clarke.” said Marcus. “You were strong. A survivor. I knew you could do it.”

“I guess you were wrong,” Abby said. “I was promptly murdered.” She wondered what happened to everyone left behind. To Clarke.

“I hope Clarke is okay,” she said, thinking of her daughter and what she would have to face now. But she drew comfort from the fact that whatever life it turned out to be would not be the end.

“I guess, one day, I’ll see her again?,” Abby asked.

“You will,” Marcus replied. “We all do meet again.”

Abby was quiet.

“Why?,” Abby wondered. “Why we were gifted this, Marcus?” She didn’t have to live years without him, she didn’t have to suffer anymore. He was here. Did they deserve this?

“We did terrible things, Marcus…and this is,” she paused, looking up into his eyes, relishing in their warmth. His absolute and total devotion so clearly displayed across his features. "A blessing."

“I don’t know, Abby,” Marcus replied. “But I like to think this is a chance to be who we were supposed to be…Maybe we’re forgiven?”

“I wonder if my death was so close to yours because…,” Abby said. “Because the universe wanted us to finally have peace?”

Marcus nodded.

“Is that what this place is, then? A place to have peace?,” Abby asked. But standing there, being held by the man she never wanted to part from, she already knew the answer.

“Yes. And love,” Marcus said.

“And happiness,” Abby added.

He leaned in and kissed her again. Deeply, passionately. Reverently. This was salvation, he knew. Salvation at last.