#Mac also has really bad depression and anxiety

[astralfandoms]

GIVE ME THE HCS I WANNA HEAR EVERYTHANGG

okay so

*cracks open google doc*

i'll just go through the areas because my brain formats better talking about the different cogs like that

also i'm not going to include the factory managers, the satellite investors, C.O.O, or Chairman because i have yet to develop their full mental image in my brain (but it will eventually happen asdfiopj)

also this is going to be long as hell so warning you

Toontown Central

Derrick Man (William Boar)

30

Transmasc Bisexual (He/Oil/Drum)

Autistic

Grew up in a family that was extremely focused on how they looked to the public, and was "match-made" with Misty at an early age, but they ended up just seeing each other as annoying siblings. Both sees Misty as an annoyance and as a friend, but doesn't like to admit that second part, especially to Misty herself.

Is crushing hard on both Alton and Rain and is being tsundere about it

Duck Shuffler (Buck Ruffler, Card Shark, Blackjack)

29

Transmasc Demiromantic Homosexual (He/They/Quack/Slot/Luck/Seven/7/🦆/🎰/⚙️/🍒 [Buck], They/It [Card Shark], It/Its [Blackjack])

Bipolar, DID (Buck [Host], Card Shark [Emotion Dampener], Blackjack [Nonverbal Trauma Holder])

Grew up in Toontown Central surrounded by Toons and later moved into Suitopia as an adult, working as a day trader and gambling on the weekends to help relax. At a casino night, Chris spotted him and offered him a position at C.O.G.S under him. And Buck accepted mostly because he realized he had nothing to lose if he applied.

Dating Dave and has a crush on Brian as well as Eerie Descent

Prethinker (Brian Wiseman)

35

He/It/Study/Thought/Brain/King/♟️/🧠/📖/💭

Trans Gay

Paranoid Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder

Grew up in a family where his parents were usually not home a lot of time and thought that if he got to the top of his class and graduated with honors, then his parents would actually acknowledge him. But that...never happened. So, after college, he drifted around, not knowing what to do before he applied to C.O.G.S in desperation, so ended up overcompensating to make sure that his place in the company was secured leading to...a lot of mess ups. Also transitioned after entering college, renaming himself, but doesn't like mentioning his last name because he's embarrassed that he picked that for himself.

Is dating Benjamin and is crushing heavily on Mac and Buck

Barnacle Boatyard

Land Acquisition Architect (Alton S. Crow)

40

Cis Bisexual (He/They/Hazard)

Anxiety, Paranoid Personality Disorder

Country boys make do. That's like. Pretty much it. Grew up in a large family, had to start working at a young age to help support the family, and now has trouble knowing when to stop working.

Crushing on William real bad due to them being hired around the same time

Deep Diver (Mary Anna)

32

Intersex Bigender Bisexual

He/She/Ocean/Wave/Dive/Sea/Marine/🌊/🪸/🤿/🛟/⚓/🪝

Autistic

Grew up with two moms who encouraged his love of marine life, to the point of her deciding that was going to be oceans career. Immediately was rivals with Holly due to both of them thinking they knew more about the others' specialty.

Dating Misty and keeps denying waves crush on Holly

Rainmaker (Misty Monsoon)

30

Trans Lesbian (She/Rain/Cloud/Storm/Fog/☔/☁️/🌧️/⛈️/🌦️)

Depression, Anxiety, Autism

Similarly to William, grew up in a family focused on how they look in the public eye, and became hyper attached to William because he was the first person who ever treated her nicely and was the one who she first told that she was trans and a lesbian to. Is hurt about the fact that he won't really talk to her anymore but thinks that it's because they're working in opposing departments.

Is dating Mary and Holly and wishes that the two would just get admit that they like each other already

Ye Ol' Toontown Time

Public Relations Representative (Winston Byrd)

98

Genderfluid Biromantic Homosexual (All Pronouns)

Anxiety, Autism, PTSD, Depression, Paranoid Personality Disorder

Was a close friend of Tawney's before everything went down. Was eventually snuck out of the dungeons by a blue and white cat toon before getting smuggled to Daffodil Gardens where he got restored to his previous state.

Currently isn't seeing anyone but is yearning to have a partner again

Gatekeeper (Holly Grayelle)

35

Holypaladin (Xenogender) Bisexual Lesbian (She/Holy/Gold/Knight/Shield)

Autism, ADHD

Grew up being told that she was extremely good at being a leader and so holy has it engrained in gold that knight can’t be any position other than a leadership one and so tends to clash with anyone who challenges that view. And/or fall in love with them. Luck of the draw.

Dating Misty and keeps denying knights crush on Mary. Used to have a crush on Prester until shield found out that he was gay.

Witch Hunter (Prester Virgil)

35

Transmasc Gay (He/Him)

Depression, PTSD

Grew up in an extremely strict, religious house with a doormat of a father and extremely religious mother, which caused him to have a lot of internalized homophobia, even after he transitioned, and takes it out on people who are extremely secure in their sexualities (ex. Diane, Holly). Also has both a fear and affinity for fire due to being shamed growing up as draconic-descended cog.

Dating Cosmo and sorta kinda dating the Satellite Investors. Also Diane's cousin.

Daffodil Gardens

Vice President (Allan Bravecog)

65

Cis Polyamorous Bisexual (He/Bulb/Radio/Static)

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, PTSD

Grew up having people constantly trying to befriend him because he was extremely good at making connections, so tends to have people who he doesn't trust at arms length but pretends that they're closer. Married his college sweetheart Norman Bravecog (OC) and had Cathal around when they founded C.O.G.S along the other Chief Officers after they graduated college. Dotes on Cathal heavily because Cathal was the only child of theirs that survived through infancy.

Married to Norman and has an on-and-off-again thing with both Craig and Chris.

Bellringer (Benjamin Biggs)

38

Transmasc Salmacian Bisexual Gay (He/Ring/Bell/🔔/🛎️)

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Autism

Grew up being praised for his healing ability but shamed for rings need to feed on oil, so has an energy of “I am perfect and if anyone argues that I am going to kill them and then myself”. Oh yeah, Benjamin is a vampire (sorta kinda) due to having vague leech-based programing and needing more oil than the average cog to allow for bells healing ability (has two oil tanks for that very reason).

Dating Brian and is a bit jealous of Mac and Winn (also is low-key crushing on them but shh).

Multislacker (Cathal Ray Toby Bravecog)

32

Genderapathetic Aroflux Cassexual (He/They/Tech/TV/📺)

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Autism, ADHD

Grew up extremely coddled by his father for reasons mentioned above and quickly realized that it didn’t matter how hard they worked because everyone would assume that techs work was just tvs fathers, so became very tired and just decided to roll with it.

Has a friends with benefits relationship with High Roller and ends up developing feelings for Chip and Graham.

Mezzo Merryland

Chief Financial Officer (Chris P. Dollair)

66

Trans Bisexual Man (He/It/Cash/Coin/Bank/💸/💵/💰/🪙)

Paranoid Personality Disorder, OCD

Grew up extremely poor so has a lot of trust issues and money insecurity (will swing from penny pinching to splurging).

Is heavily crushing on Allan and Craig, while hooking up with Craig sometimes.

Mouthpiece (Belle Dama)

85

Transfemme Bisexual (She/Chatter)

Autistic

Has had a relatively boring life and works to help her husband, who is too disabled to work, and keep them afloat with help from their children. Visits her husband on the weekend but lives in Mezzo Merryland during the weeks. Is confused by her son's taste in men but is very supportive.

Has a husband named Peter and two kids: Tartarus (huh i wonder who that could be /sillly) and Emily (OC), as well as several grandchildren, with her favourite being Cassidy “Cassie” Dama, one of Emily’s children.

Major Player (Dave Brubot)

27

Melodyboy (Xenogender) Pan (He/Melody/Hymn)

ADHD, Autism

Grew up in a very large, musically inclined family so naturally drifted towards music as his main aspiration. Extremely extroverted and is the one who usually gets his friends to socialize.

Is dating Buck and is trying to encourage Buck to talk with Brian and Eerie.

The Brrgh

Chief Legal Officer (Diane Morsecode)

34

Cis Bi Lesbian (She/Legal/Law)

ADHD, Autism

Grew up similarly to Prester, but was the "star" child, but because of that, whenever she fails to do something, it hits extremely hard. Is both extremely annoyed at and extremely worried about Prester.

Is currently single, but isn't looking for anyone. As mentioned, is Prester's cousin.

Firestarter (Flint Bonpyre)

He/Fire/Flame/🔥/🧯

27

Transmasc Gay (He/Fire/Flame/🔥/🧯)

Anxiety, Depression, Scoliosis

Had a pretty normal childhood, growing from a weird girl into a weird boy. Met Graham first in high school and dated pre-transition and then met again in sophmore year in college post-transition and started dating (had a nice laugh about the fact that fate kept bringing them together).

Is dating Graham and used to date Chip in college (but still has lingering feelings about him)

Plutocrat (Cosmo Kuiper)

68

Cis Bisexual (He/Star/Constellation/Meteor/Planet/🌟/⭐/🌠/✨/💫/🪐)

ADHD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Grew up in a mob family and would have stayed only attached to it if C.O.G.S didn’t take over the town that he was the head of, leading to star reluctantly joining C.O.G.S. Took one look at Prester and went "oh i NEED to date that man".

Dating Prester and constellations investors, often showering them in gifts to let them know that meteor loves them.

Acorn Acres

Chief Executive Officer (Craig Edgar Oilcan)

69

Transmasc Genderfaun (He/It/They [Collective], He/Oil/One/Fore [Craig], It/Its [Justice], Edgar [He/They/Golf])

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, DID (Host: N/A, Headmates: Craig [Persecutor, Protector], Justice [Emotional Funnel], Edgar [Guilt Holder, Trauma Holder])

Grew up in an extremely cut throat family where it was essentially "succeed or get scrapped" which caused his system to form at an extremely young age. Applies that motto to a lot of its life, which is why they turned a blind eye to everything involving Chip.

Is deep in denial about the fact that he cares about Allan and Chris (doesn't want to admit that he's attached) and "rationalizes" it by hooking up with Chris and having a good business relationship with Allan.

Treekiller (Spruce Campbell)

46

Cis Gay Man (He/Wood/Gnaw/Log/Chop)

ADHD

Grew up in a large, relaxed family who were the types to encourage friends stay for dinner before they headed back home (especially when it came to Chip and his family). Is so worried about Chip, especially with how little he tells him about work nowadays.

Is single.

Chainsaw Consultant (Chip Revvington)

54

Boyflux (Chip) Agender (Override) Demi Bisexual Gay (Chip) Pan (Override) (He/Rev/Chainsaw/Saw [Chip], It/Its [Override])

Autism, DID (Headmates: Chip [Host], Override [Protector, Persecutor, Prosecutor, Emotional Funnel])

As mentioned in this post, grew up in a very oppressive, strict household that punished him for any sort of autistic behavior, leading towards Override to form to help mask revs autistic traits.

Chip is still not over Flint while Override is head over heels for Cathal, with their difference in romance causing a bit of a struggle in the system.

Drowsy Dreamland

Featherbedder (Tawney C. Esta)

98

Cis Gay (He/Sleep/Snore/Nap/Rest/Bed/Dream/💭/💤/🛏️)

Cis Gay

Insomnia, Depression

Grew up pretty ordinarily, but got depressed after his husband passed, but is now slowly healing from that.

Had a husband, and has grandchildren as well. Also has a bit of a “are they dating or just good friends” thing going on with Doppel (OC)

Pacesetter (Graham Ness Payser)

27

Transmasc Genderfast (Xenogender) Gay (He/Speed/Fast)

Transmasc Genderfast Gay

ADHD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Literally does not remember his childhood other than the fact that he had dated Flint in highschool. Only remembers his life post-transition, which is pretty ordinary and standard.

Is dating Flint and has a rivalry/crush thing going on with Multislacker.

So there you go!! That took. way too long but I hope you like!! Also if you have any questions please ask 'em!! This is a lot of fun to do :3

#arynn rambles #i am not tagging all of the managers i am so sorry #toontown corporate clash #ttcc #toontown

[thehouseofmorningstar34]

Agoraphobia Trait

Hello, my name is Sara I have Agoraphobia. I've been dealing with it for the last 3 years. I wanted to create a Trait for fellow people who struggle with it as well. However, I wanted to make light of the situation but still bring awareness to panic and anxiety disorders like mine. I can’t tell you how many times I have been told it’s all in my head or it’s not real. On that note, please enjoy the trait and the titles of the buffs. I hope they make you chuckle like they did for me. Also, I wanted to link resources for mental health help if you are every feeling anxious or depressed or any emotion really you are never alone don't forget that.

Thehotline.org (a safe and effective way for victims of dv to get out safer than ever)

Humantraffickinghotline.org (you can text 23373 or call 1-888-373-7888 it also has the quick exit button as well.)

Thetrevorproject.org/get-help/ (a lgbtqia safe hotline for at risk teens and young adults to reach if you are feeling suicidal or need assistance)

And always there is the 988 lifeline.org where you can get a hold of the mental health and crisis Network hotline all you got to do is text 988 and chat with a lifeline right away.

Don't ever feel like you're a burden or you deserve anything that you are going through You are not alone and I hope these resources help 💘

Now Let's talk about the trait:

This trait has 6 buff replacements and 9 proxy buffs. (More to come)

3 custom interactions (still don't know how that works well yet lol)

The links provided are up to date

I removed the fears that were wrong and made it into a proxy buff.

Also with your needs decays all in general will go down slower for all your needs for your Sims by 1.3. (cuz why not)

This trait is up to date with the latest patch (PC: 1.105.332.1020/ Mac: 1.105.332.1220)

Also, with this trait your social decay goes down a lot slower because Agoraphobics we normally don’t want to be social with outside people.

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

My TOU:

If you decide to download and use any of my content, please don't post them on any other sites.

Do not put them behind a paywall site.

Please if you want to credit me on any posts, I would like to see what trouble your Sims get into with my content.

And please don't alter or repackage my files in any way

Thank you and enjoy

💓Downloads right above 💓

How to download

Place both files in your mod folder 📂

Your mod folder is in your documents of Electronic arts files make sure to look there 🙂

Since it is a script file it can not be more than one folder deep in your mods folder

If you have any issues please dm me

PLUR 💞

🎇UPDATE: I APOLOGIZE TO THOSE WHO DOWNLOADED MY MOD I SAW THE CUSTOM INTERACTION THING AND NOW IM FIXING IT NOW MY BAD 🎇 (first time modder)

#simblr #the sims mods #the sims cc #the sims community #the sims 4 #the sims #sims 4 #my sims #my simmies #sims #sims 4 cc #sims 4 community #sims screenshots #sims4cc #simsfileshare #agoraphobia

[boomblebee-420]

Sk8 Headcanons

Random Sk8 headcanons because I can. If you don't agree with them, please just keep scrolling

There is some shipping between characters. Some of this is me projecting onto characters because I kin them lol

Fluff, Angst, Crack

Warnings: Mentions of self-worth issues, self-harm, suicide attempts, homophobia, anxiety, meltdowns, death, intrusive thoughts, and panic attacks

REKI

-definitely chews on his pencils

-has wanted a dog for years but he’s allergic

-transmasc demiboy 

-biromantic and demisexual

-uses he/they pronouns

-AuDHD

-they’re a hopeless romantic

-his binder is orange 

-started a fund for top surgery

-gives Langa wheels that they make as birthday/holiday gifts, or just whenever

-spins/jumps in a circle to stim

-also repeats memes, vines, sounds, pretty much anything he finds funny or interesting

-he doesn’t look like it, but he reads a LOT 

-they don’t like reading for school because the books suck

-bouncy leg bouncy leg bouncy leg

-separation anxiety with Langa

-FAST FAST FAST MUSIC OR DEATH

-used to cut, but stopped since meeting Langa and the gang. Relapsed when he and Langa were fighting

-depression and anxiety

-knows how to drum (self taught on buckets and empty bins. He’s actually really good)

-inferiority complex

-incredibly impulsive but also very cautious

LANGA

-constantly tapping fingers on everything

-autism, inattentive adhd, ocd

-cat person

-gayyyyy

-asexual

-uses he/they/ice 

-talks to his dad a lot (even though he’s gone, it makes ice feel like he’s still with them)

-non-verbal sometimes

-donates some of his paycheck to Reki’s top surgery fund every month

-has no regard for his safety

-my guy can’t take a hint to save their life

-plays a lot of video games

-hyperfixated on omori and undertale 

-clicks ices tongue a lot

-has made an attempt on their life before. Ice is better since meeting Reki and the gang

-doesn’t really like books, more of a movie person but he usually doesn’t finish them in one sitting

-really bad intrusive thoughts. Ice will often shut himself up in their room for days because of them

-gets Reki flowers all the time

-Everytime ice meets a new skater, he demands a beef

-Can play the piano

-Monster Energy addict

-depression 

-Used to be extremely emo (style-wise)

-Listens to midwest emo, regular emo, shoegaze, indie, some pop 

-Likes to stick to a schedule and has meltdowns if it’s disrupted

MIYA

-Aroace

-They/He/She 

-genderfluid as fuck

-hates polka dots (STRIPE SUPREMACY)

-loves all fluffy animals

-loves going to the zoo and making fun of random people there

-royalty of embarrassing his friends

-huge abandonment issues

-tends to stay up till three am eating fruit snacks and playing video games

-she and the gang have mario kart contests every saturday night

-has hidden in Langa and Reki’s houses before and scared the shit out of them

-listens to fleetwood mac but will never admit it

-learned german just to fuck with people

-photobombs everyone (even people they don’t know)

-Wilbur Soot and Lovejoy fan. He and Langa listen to them together while playing video games

-Perfectionist

-Has G.A.D and depression, finds it hard to do simple tasks a lot of the time

-Gets panic attacks sometimes

-Watches MCYT

JOE

-Bisexual disaster

-he/him

-Knows spanish and uses it to his advantage

-my guy got mad rizz, as we all know

-Used to be in a band with Cherry. They were called Skate Bomb. It didn’t last long

-Plays bass and guitar

-Sings, but not very well

-dude’s been cooking since before he could walk

-dominates mario kart almost every single time

-listens to everything under the sun (mostly surf rock), and sings country songs to annoy the gang

-has memorized all the vines. Good luck finding one he doesn’t know

-sucks at dying his hair so he forces Cherry and Shadow to help him

-Was a theater kid

-Favorite animal is a penguin. Thinks they’re the funniest things to walk this earth

-Self-harmed as a teenager

-Has anxiety, and tries his best to help the gang when their not feeling the best

-Horrible eyesight, he wears contacts

CHERRY

-He/She

-Gay as fuck

-Agender

-Autistic

-had horrible handwriting and Joe kept making fun of him for it, so she got really good and opened his calligraphy business out of spite

-secretly loves musicals, and knows every word to Hamliton. Like, she memorized the entire script

-Fluent in english and french

-plays a shit ton of instruments and really good at all of them

-major perfectionist

-extremely tech savvy

-believes that Carla is his soulmate

-sings like a fucking angel

-can’t cook for shit, but has really high standards for food

-has horrible self-worth problems and only Joe knows 

-Parents were incredibly homophobic and strict, so she’s really sneaky

-Acts like he hates being touched but is secretly touch-starved and craves attention

-Grew up rich 

-Donates a shit ton of money to charity. Also donates to Reki’s fund when she finds out about it from Langa

-Doesn’t really like animals

SHADOW

-Been gardening since he was small

-He/They

-Trans FTM

-Pansexual

-Really good at makeup, and occasionally will get into drag just for fun

-Amazing fashion sense

-Loves his grandma and brings her flowers all the time

-Been in love with his manager for years

-Has O.S.D.D, and O.C.D

-Horrible relationship with his parents. They cut off all communication with them as soon as he turned 18

-Sucks ass at mario kart

-Has a god complex and inferiority complex 

-Gets intrusive thoughts a lot

-Saved a shit ton of money and managed to get top surgery at 22

-Listens to goth and punk music and hates country (except Dolly Parton, he loves her but will never admit it)

#sk8 the infinity headcanons #reki #langa #cherry blossom #joe #miya #shadow #fluff #angst #crack

[depizan]

I am so sorry, this ramble turned out long as fuck. Hence the cut.

I want fiction to prove me wrong.

While I was making dinner, I was pondering fiction - what I like, what I don’t, what I tolerate; various things people far smarter and more famous have said about fiction (the Timothy Zahn quote I posted here that will never die, Pratchett’s quote about how a world where Bond did not disarm the bomb and the third of three brothers didn’t succeed at the quest (or whatever the exact wording is) would be a dark place, Red of OSP on YouTube talking about Grimdark) and it all came together: I want fiction to prove me wrong.

That’s the unifying explanation for what I like, what I don’t, what I tolerate, why I have so much trouble trusting fiction, and all that good stuff.

See, depression and anxiety are a horrible combination. It’s like going through life with an evil narrator or backseat driver who points out every possible thing that could go wrong and expects those things to go wrong. Every light that turns green will have someone run the red. That blemish is skin cancer. If your boss wants to talk to you, it’s because you did something wrong and you’re going to be fired. If the person you’re meeting is late, either they’re dead or they were never really going to show up. There somehow could be a bomb or drugs in your carry on luggage, even if you didn’t put it there and you never let your luggage out of your sight.

It’s a world in which the worst is always the most possible, in which no one can be trusted, in which nothing will go well, and which will only end in death. Probably horrible death.

Somehow, the fact that I have never been t-boned by someone running a red light, haven’t had skin cancer, been fired (except from a horrible telemarketing job, and, honestly, that was a relief), been stood up (or had the person be dead), or found a bomb or drugs magically in my luggage does not help. Okay, pointing that out to myself is one of many tools I use to manage that evil “voice” in the back of my head, but it doesn’t cure anything.

Neither does fiction, of course. (Wouldn’t that be nice. Read this book, and your anxiety will be gone forever. Man, I wish it worked that way.) What fiction does do is let me spend time in a world that - at least if I’m choosing the fiction well - proves my depression and anxiety wrong. In a much more clear and dramatic way than simply not being run over on the way to work.

Characters come up against impossible situations, horrible odds, worst case scenarios...and prevail. Single starships take out armadas or moon-sized battle stations, plucky bands of misfits defeat terrible villains, friendship is true even when tested, James Bond disarms the bomb with seven seconds left on the clock, the junior dragonslayer befriends a dragon and saves their village, taking a stand and doing the right thing succeeds, and, above all else, there is always hope and hope is always right.

And for just a little while I live in a cloud of second-hand optimism. For just a little while, I don’t have a litany of terrible possibilities running through my mind.

So of course I hate grimdark, and I hate fiction that kicks you for having the gall to think that good could win, and I hate fiction that presents things that agree with the awful predictions the depression/anxiety monster makes. I want the kid saving starfish to save “that one” without it immediately being eaten by a seagull, damn it. Is that too much to ask?

And it’s not that there’s anything wrong with grimdark, or fiction where the bad guys win, or comedies. It’s that I don’t want them. And I don’t want to be tricked into seeing/reading them. Too much fiction gets off on tricking its audience these days. Which is why I have a lot of trouble trusting fiction. I want to know what I’m going to get, and outside of things I’ve consumed before and fanfic (which is, conveniently, tagged), I just can’t be sure. Maybe it is what it says on the tin, or maybe the creator is one of those assholes who gets off on serving people mashed potatoes and gravy disguised as an ice cream sundae.

That, that is what I object to. Being tricked into consuming something bad for me when I’m looking for something good for me. I want to know that the dog lives, I want to know that there’s a happy ending, I want to know that the work of fiction will prove me wrong, not right. Or I want to know ahead of time that it isn’t safe (for me), so that I can not get invested in it. (Reading something for a class, for example. Or going to a movie that is so not my kind of thing with friends. Or, you know, anything by Joss Whedon.)

That’s also probably why I’m so very wary of comedies. Even though my actual sense of humor can be really dark. (No, really. One of the reasons I keep poking at the Dark Meeting mission in SW:TOR - you know, the one where the Agent goes to Darth Jadus’s office for a chat and his “dark blessing”...or a little electrocution if you’re an idiot - is because it is one of the funniest moments in the Agent story. And one of the most horrifying. Like, simultaneously. It’s hilarifying. It’s horrilarious.) … You know, maybe the fact that I found comedies horrifying when I was growing up did something to my sense of humor… Aaaaanyway… *cough* Uh… … Wait, no, actually, that’s a really interesting outlier, because that scene absolutely matches one kind of humor I hate, but in this instance, I actually find it funny. (And it probably isn’t supposed to be.)

Lots of comedies do that. Swap out the expected way things should go for something awful. The child saving starfish doesn’t notice that sharks are eating them, or whatever. Haha. Because you don’t expect it. Because it turned something good into something horrible. Yay. *jazz hands* So why, when I universally hate that shit in comedies, do I find that SW:TOR scene funny? (And terrible. But still funny.) Is it because the Agent’s “arrogance” gets themselves hurt, not someone or something else? Is it because it doesn’t actually break genre, it’s just a reminder that you are playing a villain’s henchman instead of a hero? … It’s that. That’s it. That’s why it’s funny! It’s like being wrong genre savvy, but it’s wrong part savvy! It’s not that something unexpectedly awful happens. It’s that something expectedly awful happens, but it’s surprising because you forgot your actual role. Oh ho!

(Yeah, this is pretty much Mac’s random fictional epiphanies: the post.)

In any event, I want fiction that proves me wrong. Or, rather, I want fiction that proves my mental illnesses wrong.

And sometimes I have a very weird sense of humor. While also not getting (or hating) a lot of comedy. And spending a fair amount of time at work cheering up my coworkers by making them laugh. Comedy: even when you’re really, really picky about it, it’s the last refuge of the depressed and anxious.

#long post #Mac vs fiction #Mac has several epiphanies about what they like and why #Mac also has really bad depression and anxiety #mental health talk

[valpur]

This is where I introduce myself.

It’s been half a decade since I last set foot on Tumblr. I missed this place.

Hi, everyone! I’m Valpur. I’m a biologist, I have an unhealthy obsession for fungi and amphibians, I grow my own veggies and, yes, I write. I write a lot.  And by a lot, I mean that I work as a translator of romance stuff. Like, they actually pay me to read and translate novels. It’s mindblowing. As you probably read in my headliner, English is not my first language. I’m byelingual. I’m gradually unlearning Italian while struggling to keep my English at least acceptable. So! What am I writing? I have several on-going projects. Some are finished, other still in progress. What can you expect to find? Again, as per the aforementioned headliner, action and adventure. Lots of. And romance, because I’m a big softie. Also, tons of angst - gotta sweat that happy ending. No matter how dire the circumstances, rest assured: in the end, there’s always going to be hope. Cross my heart. (No really, I’m squishy, I can’t live with depressing endings. Let the future be bright, at least in fiction) Genres? Lots of them. You’ll find fantasy, sci-fi, but also good ol’ historical romance. With a twist.

I’ll post one chapter/month of every finished work on Wattpad and here on Tumblr so you can read them for free. If you want to read much more stuff in advance, you can support me on Patreon. I’ll probably cry if you do it, you’re warned.

Here’s a list of what’s brewing!

*The Big Kids - finished works*

Atlantis - The second fall

[Mythological dark fantasy. CW: graphic violence, major character death, gaslighting] 110k words.

What Ariadnh wanted: food and a place to sleep. What she got: an invitation from a dark cult set on restoring Atlantis and its greatness; a lazy horse; anxiety. Murdering people was alright. Kind of. As long as it kept a roof over her head and her newfound family close. Accidentally evoking a dead god with a penchant for drama? Problematic. But saving the world is where Ariadnh draws the line.

H00D

[Sci-fi, a Cyberpunk retelling of Robin Hood. CW: drug use, violence] 77k

Steal from the rich, give to the poor, hack your way into big pharma databases to incriminate the corporation responsible for the murder of your family and the deaths of thousands of babies.

That’s just another Thursday in Rob Hood’s life.

*Getting there - works in progress* The swallow of Guadeloupe [Queer historical romance. Translation in progress. CW: violence, abuse, but nothing too graphic] 78k It took Mac a long time and a longer journey to track down the man who ruined their lives. Alas, their success comes with a price: a not-so-upstanding trio of guards insists on lending an unnecessary hand. Among them, a stick up everyone’s ass, a walking disaster waiting to happen, and a man too good for such a cruel world. Ultimately, the ruin of Mac’s plans of revenge. Take the swashbuckler’s genre and make it queerer. Also, swords! Plumed hats! And bad drinks.

The Wildflowers Series [Historical romance, Old Wild West. Series of four books. First in progress. CW: graphic violence] 

She’s nosy, has a thing for crime novels, and desperate to get rid of the Sheriff’s unwanted attentions. He’s a homesick outlaw with little hope for his future, a passion for chickens and the voice of an angel. They definitely shouldn’t be together. And yet.

#write #writeblr #fantasy #romance #scifi #cyberpunk #booknerd #book #valpurwrites #writing #writers of tumblr #amwriting

[miekasa]

eren comforting his s/o during a bad mental health day

↯ pairing: eren jaeger x (fem) reader

↯ genres and warnings: fluff, obvious mentions of symptoms of bad mental health (ex: depression, anxiety), eren might not know exactly what he’s doing but he’s doing his best

↯ author’s notes: hello! i wanted to try this out in headcanon form, because i’m not too sure i could have pulled it off as a full one-shot or drabble, but i hope you liked it :)

↯ more notes: this is the third time i’m posting this bc for whatever reason, it didn’t show up when i answered it under an ask earlier :( i hope it works now

If you brought up any of your previous history with mental health or past bad days, Eren would definitely be able to empathize even unknowingly. He’s had his fair share of bad days and childhood trauma that’s affected him, but he’s almost... oblivious (?), if that’s the right word, as to just exactly what those words mean in relation to him.

Say you explained how something was making you feel depressed or down Eren would nod and listen, but his internal monologue would be like “Wait that’s a sign of depression??.... Hold on a minute, now...”

So, he knows the feelings, but not necessarily the technical terms, but that’s more than enough for him to be able to empathize with you and help in his own way.

If you told him outright you were feeling sad or just generally down, he’d probably ask more specific questions to try and understand more.

If it’s just a general sad feeling, he strikes me as the type to be like “Okay, that’s okay. We can just have a sad day, and try again tomorrow, no problem.”

If all you want to do is laze around and avoid your responsibilities, just for a day, Eren will do the same with you.

He knows that eventually you’ll have to get around to doing the things you have to do and that life will go on, but for now if all you really need is bad takeout and a Netflix marathon, then so be it.

While it might be difficult for him to express his feelings into words, he’s a great listener, so if you want to just rant, he will listen actively and enthusiastically, and probably chime in with his own two cents every once in a while.

Becomes extra affectionate, and if you don’t like that kind of stuff, he’ll do it on purpose anyways just to get a smile out of you.

“Eren, stop trying to bite my cheek!” “I am trying to show you my LOVE!!!!” “How is biting me loving??” “It’s MY love language!! Now let me love you!!”

Eren could probably be a professional cuddle buddy, so if actual cuddles are what you need, you’ve got the right guy.

He also will not leave you the hell alone, but like, out of love. If you have a tendency to bundle up within yourself, Eren will shadow you and force you out of your shell.

When I say shadow, I mean he will literally hang off of you like a leech and render you immobile until you speak to him or tell him what’s going on.

If you express that you really do just need some alone time and space, he won’t physically hover around you but he will, like... text you even if he’s sitting in the same room.

Will send you a funny video, or a link to some cute animals, and even an obscure meme that only he and Jean would understand, but he’s hoping will make you laugh anyway.

Again he’s kind of oblivious and maybe a little dumb but in a well meaning way... boyfriend Eren is kind of a himbo in the best way LOL

“I can’t really cook but I made you some mac and cheese...? Girls like mac and cheese, right? Plus, Armin said it’s comfort food.”

He’ll laze around with you on days when you need it, but if it persists, he knows he has to try to gently re-immerse you into daily life and get you active a bit.

He’ll ask you to cook with him, do his hair despite the fact that he doesn’t have anywhere to be, beg you to come to the store even if he doesn’t really need anything; but his favorite method is to get you to play video games with him.

“Babe please!! Jean ditched me and I need a partner to kick his ass in duos!! Pleeaaaaaseee!!”

He knows you’re not great at video games, but that’s okay, because then he gets to sit you in his lap and teach you everything!! And in the end, even if he does kind of (completely) carry you the entire game, it does help to have been up and concentrating on the game rather than spiraling in your own thoughts. Plus you beat Jean.

Eren will sing your praises and tell you how proud he is of you and cover you in kisses — he’s talking about the game, of course, but his words also hold true for how proud he is of you on a regular, daily basis.

#aot x reader #snk x reader #eren x reader #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #eren jaeger x reader #levi x reader

[tallys-train-blog]

Can I please have some headcanons on The Star Tugs? (And maybe also the Z-Stacks if you want to)

Since you didn't really specify what you wanted i figured I delve into their personal lives a little.

⚠️Warnings⚠️ talks of mental illness and disabilities

Btw any talk of anxiety, autism, PTSD ect are from my personal experiences with it and how I interpret characters and the way they act bc of my past.

Star Fleet

Tencents

Tencents has always struggled with anger issues since he was little.

He wouldn't hurt people but he had issues with a short temper and short patience which would result in him throwing wooden blocks when he was little and snapping and kicking pieces of Wood around the port now and punching walls and wood slabs.

He punched the side of his boat once, dented the damn thing and almost shattered his hand. Hercules wrapped his hands to stop the bleeding and had a very long discussion about anger management with TenCents after.

Tencents also has partial paralysis in his right arm and hand after the munitions accident but it isn't horrible. Only when it flairs up under anxiety or anger.

Also struggles with anxiety and slight PTSD after the Munitions accident.

Big Mac

Also suffers from Anger issues but to a higher extreme than TenCents.

But Big Mac also has had more time to get control of the anger issues.

Tends to take his anger out by cussing in his native language

Oj

Struggles with anxiety, and slight PTSD from almost being scrapped a few times

Has gotten help for both of the conditions and has learned to help himself calm down when things get bad.

Likes to paint or bake to help himself calm down and always ends up giving someone something.

Tophat

Suffers from Bipolar disorder and probably has abandonment issues.

Bipolar Disorder runs on his dads side of the family which is the side he takes after.

He has abandonment issues because growing up he was always held up to his older brother Hercules achievements and accomplishments and eventually his parents basically stopped paying attention to him.

He doesn't really have a way to calm himself down except for storming away from the situation and moping.

Rarely he has a cigarette to calm down to Hercules' dismay.

Warrior

Suffers from ADD, potentially Autism and a minor case of short term memory loss (stml)

His ADD makes it hard for him to learn and grasp onto things, paired with a learning disability he always struggles with school and learning.

His STML more or less comes through in his inability to remember how to say things and things like forgetting names a lot and how to certain things.

He lives with his brother Big Mac so he doesn't get hurt and in turn Warrior actually watches over Big Mac.

Side note when you get Warrior on a topic he is  passionate about you'll see that cery sweet and charming side come out.

Hercules

Anxiety, Depression, and PTSD

His anxiety stems from his home life as a child. It runs on his moms side of the family and he takes after her. It got worse throughout his early preteen and all throughout his teenage years because he was held up to high standards and felt horrible about how often his parents forgot his little brother (Tophat)

His depression and PTSD stems from seeing his dad almost die and struggle with alcoholism for a while.

His depression and PTSD also stems from being in the navy.

This poor man has been shot a few times and has been caught by fire and fallen off boats into frigid waters. He's lost close friends and seen a lot.

It doesnt bother him all that often as he has gotten help and has learned from OJ but when it flares up the only people that seem to help are his brother and son.

Sunshine

Separation anxiety, and a lisp

Sunshine has gone through a lot and been separated from people he trusts multiple times so when he does warn up he gets attached and it too worried to go to far from his family or friends.

Sunny was born with a slight lisp, he has always had it and never was ashamed of it.

Hercules and Big mac are helping him with his anxieties and he's gotten much better.

Z-stacks

Zorran

Anger issues.

Has always struggled with anger issues and he was brought up in a house where he basically got whatever he wanted and his mom wouldn't discipline him but his dad did.

Hasnt done anything to get help or try and work on anger management and has no real interest in it.

Most likely has other underlying conditions.

Zebedee

Depression and potential OCD

Zebby had a very rough home life, his dad passed when he was young and his mom worked multiple jobs while raising him, his baby brother and baby sister.

His mom raised him to be responsible, respectful, hard working and most importantly loving.

His depression makes the last part a little difficult as he struggles to let his guard down.

His potential OCD shows when he gets upset when he tries to do things on his own or gets very upset when something isn't done exactly how he wants it.

It's not a very severe case which is why it's kind of hard to say if he has it or not but it's there.

Zak

Anger issues

That's it, he's struggled with anger issues since he was a teen.

After being bullied he got involved in a group of bad kids and tampered with drugs and became semi aggressive afterwards.

Zug

there's nothing he really struggles with. He's just kind of a sneaky shit head.

Zip

ADHD

ADHD runs in his family and it's very common in the men in the family so it was expected that he had it.

Zip and his little brother Zaxary were homeless growing up so by the time his ADHD really started to show through they didn't have the chance to diagnose him.

#bella speaks #childhood #star tugs imagines #tugs tophat #tugs oj #tugs imagines #tugs 1989 #tugs sunshine #star tugs #tugs tencents #this is tugs #tugs hercules #tugs warrior #tugs big mac #tugs zorran #tugs Zebedee #tugs zip #tugs zug #tugs zak #tugs zaxary

[keeptheotherone]

Mecation: Day 1 

Thursday

I once read social media described as an indulgence of the fantasy that others are interested in the details of our lives. I’m indulging in that fantasy this week by blogging about my Mecation under the guise of travel blogging ;)

If you follow me in even the most casual way, you know I’m a nurse. While I’ve enjoyed the vast majority of my 23 years as such, I don’t recommend it during a pandemic. The last 18 months have been the second-worst mental health period of my life, demoted to that position not because of the mildness of my symptoms but simply because at 15 I didn’t have the experience or perspective to realize my life was not, in fact, ruined forever.

COVID increased my personal vulnerability as a high-risk patient and made my job immensely more difficult in countless ways both small and large, but the worst part of the pandemic for me (so far) is it took away all my coping mechanisms precisely when I needed them most. Massage, pedicures, dinner out with friends, travel ... all gone practically overnight. Pre-COVID I travelled all the time--home to my parents’, long weekends by myself (Mecation!), annual visits to BFFs, conferences, tourism, the beach, my birthday, writing trips, international trips ... I always had at least one trip in the works, usually one booked and one (or more!) in the planning stages. 

When COVID started, all my close friends and family except for two lived out of state. One of those two was out of town but close enough to get together, but the other was a few hours’ drive away. I’m single and live alone; it was the most isolated I’ve ever been in my whole life. 

With my bestest friends over 500 miles away, I still feel that way sometimes. I haven’t seen them in a year. If it weren’t for COVID, it would only be 7 or 8 months (I’ve gone every January or February since ... forever). Then again, if it weren’t for COVID, I wouldn’t have been there last September; one had been hospitalized and I needed to see she was all right with my own two eyeballs. I expect it will be at least another 7 or 8 months before we get together again, bringing the total to about 20 months. One year we saw each other 5 times in 9 months, our personal best since college. 

I was alone on Christmas. Oh, I’ve spent December 25th on my own before; I’m a nurse. I’ve worked the night of the 24th or the 25th (or both), or whatever combination that didn’t leave enough time off to drive home. But I’ve never spent the Christmas season without my parents. Sometimes the week before, sometimes the week after, sometimes at my place instead of home, but always together. But last Christmas COVID was raging, the vaccines had just come out but were only available to first responders (I got mine on the 23rd), and my elderly parents didn’t feel safe to travel. So I spent Christmas without family.

Travel was not just a break from my daily routine and the stress of nursing; in many ways, the biggest benefit travel made to my mental and emotional health was giving me something to look forward to.  Proverbs 13:12 says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” and ohhh, I was so heartsick last year! Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t visit my best friends of almost 25 years (more than half my life!). Not being able to travel meant I couldn’t lean on my dad or be hugged by my mom. Not being able to travel--and not knowing when I could travel--left this gaping hole in my future, and I had nothing to fill it with. 

I tell you this not to throw a pity party but to explain the significance of the trip I’m on right now. It is only my third this year: my dad and I spent a week in the mountains in February (my depression and anxiety was so bad then that was treatment, not vacation), I took a friend to the beach over my birthday, and now I’m a couple hours from home at a nice spa hotel. (I’m not counting my nephew’s graduation, which was emotionally challenging for multiple reasons, or helping a friend move from Florida. Moving is never fun.)

I started planning this trip in the spring ... May, maybe? You know, after the vaccine rolled out to everyone and case counts were dropping and it looked like we were gonna lick this thing and have a quasi-normal summer by the Fourth of July (yes, I’m American. That date is a proper noun here.). I had switched jobs in November (don’t ask) and gone on mental health leave December 29th, so I felt I owed it to my unit to put in about six months of work before taking any significant time off, especially since I came back at 24 hours instead of 36. That meant September.

I knew what I wanted to do: 4 or 5 days at an all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean. I’d been before and loved the freedom of not worrying about every little expenditure (what can I say, I’m cheap), and a few days of Vitamin Sea sounded perfect.

Then came Delta.

All right, maybe going out of the country isn’t the best idea, I thought. Don’t want to end up with expensive reservations and then your destination closes to Americans, or you make it to your chosen island but can’t get back home. But I didn’t want to fly (ugh, airports!), I didn’t want to drive (rest stops and restaurants and gas stations), and while I thought about taking the train, it didn’t seem much of an improvement (and maybe a downgrade) on flying.

Then a friend mentioned a sleeper car, and I thought yes! That could work! I’ve never been to New England, I want to go to Boston, that area of the country has low case rates and the highest vaccination rates, this has potential! 

Then I looked at the CDC map. There were only four states that didn’t have high transmission at that time (early August, I think; I’d had to wait for confirmation that my time off had been approved): Michigan, Rhode Island, Maine, and New Hampshire. All four had substantial rates of transmission. Hardly ideal, but one thing I’ve learned this year is sometimes you have to make compromises to protect your mental health. It is true it doesn’t matter if you’re happy if you’re dead; it is also true it doesn’t matter if you’re safe if you want to kill yourself. (I’m not suicidal, I am receiving treatment, don’t anybody panic.)

So, now I’ve settled on Maine or New Hampshire by train via sleeper car (Michigan is too far for a 4-5 day trip and RI--meh). Well, as I got deeper into planning, turned out Maine or NH were awfully far too. Far enough I would have to overnight in a major city, which pretty much defeated the purpose of isolating in a sleeper car. Then I found out there were no sleeper cars on either train route.

So, now vacation is 5 weeks away and I’m back at square one. The Deep South, Texas, and Florida are imploding. Pediatric cases are rising--kids are sicker and make up a higher percentage of cases than they did last year. Scuttlebutt from my ICU colleagues is it’s bad--17/30 MICU beds are COVID and they’re all vented. SICU is being nicknamed “the ECMO unit.” The hospital has 18(!) ECMO machines and 12 are in use; the float nurse who tells us that didn’t even know we had 12 because she’s never seen that many in use at one time. Hospital-wide our numbers are equivalent to early February (we peaked in January). There were six--SIX--pediatric rapid responses in one day. 

And I’m going to travel.

It’s a big deal ... a big accomplishment, really, because of what it says about how I’m successfully managing my anxiety. April 1 was the first time I’d been inside a grocery store in more than a year ... and that wasn’t my idea. It was late April or May before I was comfortable eating in restaurants, even with the falling case count at the time. I’m still not sure if I’m managing my anxiety or reacting to the pressure by going to the opposite extreme (I have a history of that), but I know I’m less stressed, less anxious, have fewer obsessive thoughts, fewer physical symptoms, and am learning to live with this disease. 

So, here I sit at a marble-topped 5-foot-wide desk in my queen/queen hotel room at the end of a productive and enjoyable day. I slept in, completed the big goal of this weekend’s to-do list that I honestly thought would take several days, unpacked and organized my room (I arrived yesterday evening), reorganized my Favorites Bar and Bookmarks on my Mac, had an 80-minute aromatherapy massage, enjoyed a shower in the spa afterwards and even blow-dried my hair(!) before wandering around for a while to get the lay of the land and get some steps in (this place is huge!). Then I changed clothes and took myself out to dinner for my favorite food, Italian. 

That’s me in the picture up top, all dressed up :) Actually, I probably look pretty normal to y’all; like most people with depression, my personal hygiene sunk to new lows in the last year and a half, and as a low-maintenance person to begin with, that’s saying a lot. I bought that necklace as a bridesmaid and am not sure I’ve worn it since; this spring was her 10th anniversary. Yesterday I took out the cat-shaped earrings Dad gave me for Christmas. (Yes, they were gross. Yes, I cleaned them. Yes, I’m wearing them again now.) Just wearing a nice top, fixing my hair (no ponytail or claw-clip bun, my staples), and adding jewelry was a big deal ... especially since “no one” was going to see me. I did it just for me, to make myself feel good. And I did. (That’s another small pleasure COVID took away from me--lip gloss. If I wore any makeup at all, it was lipstick or gloss. Utterly pointless when you’re masked whenever you’re in public.)

I took my laptop to dinner and edited a couple chapters of my new Charlie/Amy fic (previewed during #ktoo turns 10), ran a couple errands, and headed back to the hotel since I don’t like to be out late by myself in an unfamiliar city. Forgot I put my receipt envelope in the backseat pocket and reorganized the glove compartment looking for it, then gathered a bunch of returns into a bag in the trunk. Hung out writing in the lobby until my Mac threatened to die, came upstairs and tidied up, put on my jammies, and talked to you guys :) 

#ktoo travels #covid coping #mental health #about ktoo #ktoo nurses #herself

[hyper-cryptic]

Oh yes, an ask ! What's the opinion/relation of Kate on the others companions ? Do they have a bestie ? Does she hate/dislike one of them ?

Hell yeah!! I am glad you ask about her, I absolutely adore talking about Kate! By the way, really funny fact, I have actually romanced most of the companions (Danse, I am coming for that ass), but canonicaly, their partners are Hancock and Nick! :D

Cait:

She admires her! Like, a lot! They think she is a super strong person, in both meanings! She loves how brave, how sassy she is! She’s just really fun to be with overall in Kate’s opinion!

About her drug addiction, Kate never really minded, but they were really concerned about her health. When Cait told her that she wanted to be cured, they didn’t hesitate to help her. 

Kate knows Cait can be a better person, especially under her influence! She constantly makes subtle comments that might make Cait change her opinion on things. Every once in a while they sit down to talk about her insecurities if she’s ok with it!

Funny extra: Since their names sound literally the same, Kate asks to be called Kat! Or to call Cait, “Irish Kate” tho expect a very angry irish person coming down your way.

Curie:

Absolutely LOVES her!! They love her curiosity and optimistic personality! Thinks she’s adorable.

They were very supportive of her wanting to be a synth, she thought it was very interesting! Though, was also very worried about how they would get to it...She was relieved that she didn’t have to take anybody's life!

Kate loves to make Curie flustered. It’s honestly adorable to her how she gets mad about getting compliments because she gets distracted, or confused. She lets her know why, tho! Hahah.

Codsworth:

He is family. He had been since before the war. It was the only person she could actually be herself.

When the bombs dropped she couldn’t stop thinking about him, if he was fine, if he had survived. When they got out of the vault, she was so happy to see Codsworth alive and well.

Kate wasn’t able to leave Codsworth’s side during 1 whole months, if it wasn’t for him and Preston, she would’ve given up on everything, on the ‘whealth, on shaun, on herself.

She adores his dumb sense of humor and his ridiculous british accent.

Danse:

She...likes him? She certainly enjoys his company and thinks he is kind and great but his bigotry and loyalty to the BOS makes her really uncomfortable.

Kate could connect to him on an emotional level, but never actually be interested in him, no matter how much they tried. BOS was just a major shit that made her uneasy. She only joined because they could be helpful to get rid of the Institute, and she was going to until…

They straight up refused and told off Maxson, but he didn’t give her the choice. When Haylen begged them to hear out Danse, they told her that she didn’t need to worry at all and would do everything in her power to keep Danse safe. They tried to change Maxson’s mind about Danse, about synths, but as she expected, he didn’t. After this whole incident, she quit the BOS and decided to destroy the Institute with the Minutemen.

She offered him to stay with her, on the lighthouse, but after a BOS attack to a settlement she left him in, Danse insisted to let him live alone, that it wasn’t safe to have him living there so close to Shaun. Kate sadly had to agree, she couldn’t risk to lose Shaun or any of her companions. She still goes and visits him every once in a while! Even got him to meet Shaun! They got along and share a love for cowboys.

Deacon:

LITERALLY BESTIES. Imagine those girls in highschool that are always together, wear matching clothes and call each other “slut”, “whore” and “bitch” affectionately? That’s them.

They literally wear matching clothes when they travel together. (I make ‘em wear matching clothes…)

Kate always introduces them as “ The Death Bunnies”.

She catched up immediately with his compulsive lying. She doesn’t mind it, in fact she might even go along with it, depending on the context and what type of lie it is. She tries to help him with it, along with his impostor syndrome (...which comes...literally sometimes?) and he tries to help her too. Hoes got each other’s back.

If they aren’t with their partners, they are with Deacon. Hell, even when they are with Nick and Hancock she brings him, of course if it’s not private. Deacon gets along with Nick so it isn’t much of a trouble...but they literally have no idea why Hancock dislikes him, tried to ask him but he said “some things are best left unknown”, which left Kate even more curious but respected his...privacy...I suppose? She asked Deacon, he said that it was no biggie, but to get Hancock to hold a long grudge like that is really weird so she can’t believe him. What did he do? She might never know...

They adore him overall, and loves his dumb comments, which she tries to always reply without bursting in laughter.

Dogmeat:

Light. Of. Her. Days. Well! Of course after her partners!! *gulps* 

They can’t go on with her days if she doesn’t pet Dogmeat at least...twice. She gives him kisses, pats and plays with him at the end of the day. 

When they first met Dogmeat, they almost couldn’t believe it. It was like a light in the dark, he definitely made her days easier as she was trying to stay stable during those 2 dark months.

She almost never goes out with Dogmeat because she is really worried the radiation might affect him, or even die out there. She usually has this fear with most of her companions, but specially him, as he is a literal animal and will probably not know if something is really dangerous or not just looking at it.

She usually falls asleep with him on the couch.

Hancock: 

Do I really even have to say anything? He is her everything along with Nick.

Kate’s first impression of him was: “Oh. FUCK. HOT?!”

Okay but really, she found him attractive and interesting after that first interaction. They had their doubts about him..you know him being a politician and all, but they quickly disappeared the more they interacted with him. Damn, the more she knew about him, the more she was interested in him. 

About Bobbi, she was totally into robbing McDonough, she did question Bobbi a lot though, as she instantly noticed how shady she was. She actually realized they were going for Hancock instead mid-way but waited to get there to confront her, make sure she was right. She didn’t do it for Hancock, instead because she wasn’t going to rob somebody who didn’t deserve being robbed. Tried to tell her to get out, nobody needed to be hurt but Bobbi refused to, so she had to pull the trigger. She knows it was the right thing to do, but can’t help but think if it could’ve ended differently.

She loves Hancock so much, they can’t stop thinking about him. “What would Hancock think about this?”, “Hancock would love this”, “I wish Hancock could see this”, “I miss Hancock”, literally being so clingy.

Overall, she thinks he’s such an amazing person: he’s kind, he’s brave, he’s funny, he’s understanding, he’s adorable, he’s caring, he’s determined, he’s (very) handsome...I really could go on.

She tries so hard to get him to understand that he is an amazing person. He appreciates the efforts.

“watch you sleep” by girl in red is totally their song.

MacCready:

LITERALLY A LITTLE BROTHER. They adore him! They love how funny and sassy he is.

Kate had to constantly tell him that she doesn’t care about caps and that he can keep ‘em if he wanted, that it looked like he needed it more than her, and she’d be right!

When Mac told her about Duncan she was upset at first, how could he just leave his child like that? Never acted on it, since she knew it would make it worse, but she could quickly understand where he came from and why he did what he did. Didn’t hesitate to help him find the cure for Duncan. 

They share a love for snipers and long ranged weapons so...that’s a topic they talk about a lot!

They both geek out about Silver Shroud every once in a while! Listen to the plays together and stuff like that!

Nick:

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They didn’t like him when they first met. They liked Nick’s humor, but couldn’t stop thinking about how much he acted like a cop, and let’s say Kate had their share of bad situations with cops because of race, and shit like that. Kate didn’t know a lot about synths at the time, so she just guessed somebody programmed a fucking cop persona into him. And she wasn’t going to deal with a cop bot that probably had a stick up his ass.

Eventually, when she got so oversaturated with work, and stressed out with the whole Institute shit, she decided to go and do some of the cases with Nick, she couldn’t wait to show this “cop” that even a “civilian” could do his work. As she worked through the cases, she began to notice that Nick was...actually ok? She had more knowledge about synths at this point, but still didn’t understand how Nick worked exactly. He did tell her that he was a prototype, between Gen 1 and Gen 3, so she quickly realized that he was no ordinary bot. She eventually warmed up to him, and could see the appeal.

It was like a bomb dropped inside her head when Nick asked if she was doing fine. Kate had never actually opened up with anybody, not even with Hancock. She mostly worked over her depression and anxiety by keeping herself busy and unhealthy thoughts like “they need me to be strong, I am a role model right now.” with the whole being a General thing, and the fact that so many people relied on her. Kate tried to be dismissive of it, but Nick could see right through her, and insisted that it was ok to open up. She had to get really drunk to do any of that shit! So they told him that they should both go to a “more private place”, as an excuse to get her hands on some alcohol. Didn’t end up drinking any alcohol, and just spilled most of it. Found comfort on his “origin story” with Diamond City. 

He was a huge part in her full recovery, along with Hancock and Deacon. But honestly? If it wasn’t for him, it would’ve taken her snapping at anybody and being confronted about it to actually open up to anybody. 

She didn’t realize she had any feelings for him until a month after that event. That they were storming into Eddie’s shelter that she realized that they loved him. All of this they were doing for him, the cute comments, the praising and trust they had in him...it became so clear why while he was talking to her after killing Winter, she couldn’t help herself but to dump on him why he was not just “a shell” how he was so much more than that. She didn’t actually confess her feelings to him there, but they were pretty close to doing it. If it wasn’t for her thoughts stopping her from doing it, what would happen with Hancock now? She still loved him deeply...

Eventually, two weeks after, they took a break at the end of the day from missions with Nick, at the empty bar that she had built inside the Castle. It was midnight and mostly everyone had gone to sleep, so they could talk about whatever they wanted and get as drunk as she wanted. They were having so much fun until Nick brought up something she had said that day they ended Winter’s life. Fuck. God, they wished they hadn’t been so busy to actually sit down with Hancock and ask him what he thinks of polyamorous relationships because she was way too drunk this time to stop herself from doing anything stupid. And she didn’t, Nick did, he corresponded but said that he couldn’t let her do this to John. Hah! Little did they know Hancock was super into the both of them. (I actually want to make a lil’ fic about this!!)

They just love him so much and connect with him on a whole new level. He and John make them so happy, she literally couldn’t ask for anyone or anything better than what they have going on.

I know it isn’t exactly a love song, but “Agnes” by Glass Animals reminds me of them.

Piper:

WHAT A LADY, AM I RIGHT? They adore her!! 

She is literally her kind of lousy! Always speaking her mind, always speaking the truth. She admires what she does.

I really don’t have much to say about her, just that they really like her and that she thinks she’s a good friend and overall good person!

Was totally in to beat up McDonough’s ass.

Preston:

They think he is amazing!! He is so kind and caring, they like him a lot!

Let’s say that he liked him so much at some point they got together during those two months. It wasn’t a stable relationship and they both acknowledged that they just didn’t work. Besides, he was there when she met Hancock, and had this look in her eyes that he had never seen. Not to worry tho! He has been testing the waters with Sturges lately! ;)

They function better as friends! Besides, it was quite awkward for Kate their General/Soldier dynamic they had going on, so that was another thing!

She thinks he is so cool and amazing, and they let him know this!

Kate teases him about when they were a couple and they laugh it off.

Honestly, he was a big help for Kate during those months and she is really grateful for all his help. They were both really important for each other.

X6-88:

They didn’t get to know him as much as they wanted.

It all was happening so fast, they couldn’t do anything to convince him to get out of the Institute before it was too late. 

And it was. They had to kill him along with the other coursers. 

In their time as companions, they thought he was enjoyable to be with. He looked like he could be saved, but...yeah.

They made him a grave in the Institute’s remains.

Aaaaaaaaand, that’s all!! Gosh, that was loooong!! Can you see I was really eager to talk about Nick and Kate’s relationship? Yeah, that shit is long.

(I literally finished this yesterday...at 2 am or something)

#fallout 4 #fallout companions #sole survivor #kate armstrong #fallout OC #fallout 4 oc #cait fallout 4 #cait #curie fallout 4 #curie #codsworth #codsworth fallout 4 #danse fallout 4 #paladin danse #deacon #deacon fallout 4 #dogmeat fallout 4 #dogmeat #hancock fallout 4 #john hancock #robert joseph maccready #nick valentine #piper wright #preston garvey #x6-88 #hyper drabbles #ask #maxdragonnb #nick valentine x sole survivor #sole survivor x hancock

[honey-dewey]

(Hold me Closer) Tiny Dancer

Chapter 4

Pairing: Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels/Reader

Word Count: 1,742

Fic Warnings: Non-sexual age regression, split perspective, classification AU, canon-typical violence

Chapter Warnings: age regression, mentions of medication, depressive thoughts, one tantrum

Taglist: None for this fic. If you want to be added, just ask, but I know this is an odd topic and therefore will not tag anyone unless they ask

Jack’s not exactly the most stable human being on the planet, but when he tests as a Caregiver, all hell breaks loose as someone who was just his work partner suddenly becomes so much more.

Multi-chapter story. Chapter 4 of ? Read Chapter 1 Here

-Mojito-

You woke up with a splitting headache. The doorbell had rung, and Whiskey, in his pyjamas, was answering the door.

“You’re up,” he noted, putting the box he’d picked up off the porch down on the kitchen counter. “Want breakfast?”

“Since when can you cook?” You grumbled, sitting up and rubbing your head. “And holy shit, what did we drink last night? I’m hungover as hell.”

“No you’re not,” Whiskey countered, handing you a plate of eggs.

You raised an eyebrow, immediately beginning to scarf down the eggs. “Are you really telling me I’m not hungover?”

“Yes I am.” Whiskey handed you half of a pill bottle cap. “That’s yours.”

Immediately, the memories of yesterday came rushing back, and you practically tossed the cap across the room. “Please tell me Ginger was able to get me more pills.”

Whiskey sighed, scooting closer to you on the couch. “Unfortunately, no. We’re roughin’ it for the next week or so ‘til she can get you a refill.”

You shook, fear turning your blood to ice in your veins. “Can I go to my room?” You asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Even from where you were sitting, you could tell Whiskey wanted to say no. But he nodded. “Come out for lunch, okay?”

You managed a tiny nod before racing off to your room, shaking the entire time. You crawled into bed, pulling the covers over your head and whimpering. Whiskey knew. He knew. He knew.

The depressive mantra lulled you to sleep, tears wetting the pillow beneath you as you drifted out of consciousness.

-Whiskey-

Mojito wasn’t out for lunch.

Jack’s stomach turned in knots, monitoring the pot of pasta on the stove. He really was worried about Mojito. Not only as his partner in the mission, but also as his friend.

He turned, examining the Little’s items Ginger had sent over. It truly was the basics. A cute table setting, three onesies, some thick socks, two pacifiers, a bottle, some formula powder, a sippy cup, diapers and the respective cleaning products, and some toys. Jack had already cleaned everything he could, laying it all to dry as he did the breakfast dishes.

“Mojito.” He finally worked up the courage to go bother them, knocking lightly on their door. “Mojito, darlin’, it’s lunchtime.”

No response.

Jack knocked again, repeating his call for lunch. When he still received nothing, he carefully tried the doorknob.

Unlocked.

Jack pushed into the room slowly, not wanting to intrude too harshly. All he was met with was Mojito, sleepily rubbing their bleary red eyes and sitting up in bed.

“Aw,” Jack cooed softly, settling on the edge of the bed. “Did someone have a good nap?”

Mojito huffed, curling into the pillows, away from him. They eyed him warily, as if trying to gauge whether he was safe or not.

“Darlin’ it’s just me,” Jack promised. “You can trust your old friend Whiskey, can’t ya?”

Mojito huffed again. But they scooted closer, face lighting up with recognition. “Wi’key?”

“Yeah!” Jack said with a soft eagerness. “That’s me, sugar. Whiskey’ll take good care of you, don’t you worry.”

Immediately, Mojito snuggled deep into Jack’s arms, practically falling asleep again as he readjusted until he was able to pick them up.

“Alrighty kiddo,” Jack said, setting Mojito down at the kitchen table. “Who wants lunch?”

Mojito cooed, watching Jack prepare a plate of box mac and cheese. It wasn’t in any way nutritious, but it was soft enough that Mojito shouldn’t choke on any of the noodles. They simply stared when Jack put the plate down in front of them though.

“What?” Jack asked, sitting at the table with them. “Is it not what you wanted?”

Mojito simply blinked. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Jack. How old was Mojito? Could they even eat solids?

“Mojito, darlin’, how old are you?”

Jack had expected an answer of three, maybe four. That was the average for Littles. He did not expect for Mojito to hold out a wobbly one finger.

“You’re twelve months old?”

Mojito whined, holding their hands out, and Jack immediately scooped them up. A toddler was one thing. A full blown baby was a whole different ball game.

As he held Mojito, thinking wildly about what the hell he was going to do, Jack tried desperately to remember what the other Caregivers at Statesman had said about caring for their Littles. Something about instincts? That wasn’t about to work for Jack. Every single instinct he had was telling him to call Ginger and beg her to bring them home. To send a qualified Caregiver out for Mojito. To make Mojito stop crying.

Jack stopped thinking, looking down at Mojito. In his whirlwind of anxiety, he hadn’t realized that they’d started to sob.

“Oh darlin’,” Jack cooed, rocking back and forth, feeling Mojito bury their face into the crook of his neck. “Darlin’ are you hungry?”

Mojito sniffled, grabbing tightly at Jack’s sleep shirt.

“Okay.” Jack one-handedly grabbed the bottle from off the countertop in the kitchen and did his best to fill it without getting an excess of milk or formula all over the place. When he was happy with the results, Jack put the bottle in the microwave and waited, rocking Mojito slowly while he watched the green microwave numbers count down to zero.

When it finally beeped, Jack took the bottle and Mojito to the couch. Laying Mojito down so that their head was nestled against his upper arm, Jack positioned the bottle on their lips and let out a relieved sigh when they actually started to drink.

Just like that, the cabin was silent. It was a tiny bit scary how quiet the space could be when Jack and Mojito weren’t talking.

Once Mojito was finished, Jack carried them and some of the clothes Ginger had sent into Mojito’s bedroom. Laying them both on the bed, Jack stared down at the half-asleep Mojito, confused and concerned. How in the hell was he supposed to dress Mojito? He could barely dress himself most days.

He managed to separate a cute onesie that would keep Mojito warm, with long legs and mint leaves printed on the soft white cotton.

“‘Jito?” Jack held the onesie out, faltering when he saw Mojito basically asleep, their thumb in their mouth. “Oh. Okay. What do I do?”

At this point, he was thinking out loud, talking to himself as Mojito slipped deeper and deeper into sleep.

“Ginger!” Jack quickly called Ginger, transferring her to his glasses and praying she wasn’t too busy.

“Jack?” Ginger mercifully answered, her tiny image appearing in the corner of his right lens. “Did something go wrong?”

Jack winced. “I need help taking care of Mojito,” he admitted nervously. “I don’t know what I’m doing with any of it.”

Ginger sighed. “Oh you are so lucky I’m not actively working right now Daniels,” she grumbled. “Out of all the Caregivers Statesman has, I’d expect you to be the best. You were the only one with an actual kid on the way. Didn’t you take any parenting classes?”

“She died before we could do it.” Jack’s tone turned bitter, waking Mojito and making them squirm. “Sorry ‘Jito.”

Mojito chirped, causing Ginger to smile. “Jack, give them a pacifier. Their fingers are dirty and could cause an illness. Plus, it’s bad for their teeth.”

“Okay.” Jack gave Mojito a pat on the stomach, causing them to giggle. “Let me grab you something better than your fingers darlin’. Be right back.”

The reassurance was not enough to keep Mojito from crying as soon as Jack was out of their sight.

“Object permanence,” Ginger reminded him as he rushed back into Mojito’s room with a white pacifier. “Babies typically think that when something is gone, it’s gone forever.”

“Thanks for the warnin’!” Jack snapped, causing Mojito to wail harder. “Oh darlin’ it’s okay.” He sat on the bed, pulling Mojito into his lap and holding the pacifier to their lips. They latched on immediately, and Jack sighed out a thanks as he wiped away their tears with the edge of his shirt. “Ginge, what now?”

Ginger shrugged. “Have they eaten?”

“Gave them a bottle about ten minutes ago.”

Nodding, Ginger gestured to the onesie still laying on the bed. “They probably need to nap. Get them changed. And I’d use a diaper, unless you want to be cleaning the bed sheets, the clothes, and the dirty Little all at once.”

Jack paused. “Can you walk me through it?”

Ginger laughed. “Ah, the great Jack Daniels, asking me for help changing a diaper. Yeah, I got you. But you owe me double now.”

“That fine,” Jack promised. “I’ll put in a word with Champ, see if I can’t get you promoted.”

“Nah,” Ginger shook her head. “You can make it up to me by taking Galahad up on his offer to train you in England. I’ll pull some strings, make sure Mojito can go too. But that is what you owe me.”

Jack almost told her no. But he looked down at Mojito, who was sleeping peacefully in his lap, and remembered something about Kingsman having an excellent Little’s program. “Okay,” he breathed. “Let’s do this.”

Of all the times for Mojito to wake and get fussy, now was not the right time. But that’s what they did, squirming and crying as Jack stumbled his way through the diaper and the onesie. Eventually, he picked them up, poking their nose and smiling. “Well would’ya look at that ‘Jito. We did it.”

Mojito yawned, and Jack took the opportunity to give them back their pacifier. “Alrighty. Say good-bye to Ginger, It’s nap time.”

Mojito hummed, waving loosely and letting their head fall against Whiskey’s chest. Ginger hung up, allowing Jack to take his glasses and hat off. He sighed, looking down at Mojito, all snuggled up in his arms.

“Alrighty darlin’,” Jack murmured, carrying Mojito to their bed. “Nap time.”

But as soon as Jack set Mojito down, they woke, fussing and reaching out. Jack took a deep breath. Maybe he could use a nap too. Crawling into the bed, Jack let Mojito wiggle into his arms, waiting until they were asleep yet again to finally relax properly.

Jack let his head hit the headboard behind him, closing his eyes, promising himself he’d only sleep for a minute or two.

Which wasn’t the case, but neither agents seemed to mind it either way.

#kingsman the golden circle #kingsman #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x you #Pedro Pascal #My writing

[enter-the-nomicon]

Coming in w the angst hehe so it seems that nomi has some kinda self-blaming/self-worth issues and some degree of trauma from their family’s deaths. Do they have survivor’s guilt? How does their past affect their relationship w Randy now :0?

And with how much of a rascal lil prankster they used to be, what would nomi’s family think of how much they changed the past 800 years?

"so it seems that nomi has some kinda self-blaming/self-worth issues and some degree of trauma from their family’s deaths."

*Laughs in Spanish* Oh, Nomi has some intense survivor's guilt, and they have plenty of deep-rooted trauma as a result. Nomi tends to blame themselves a lot, especially, when things go wrong. Perhaps the best example of that is anything having to do with Mac Antfee. They also deal with self-worth issues, but that was before the death of their family :'))))

Nomi's current friendship with Randy is already effected by this-- whenever Randy doesn't understand something, Nomi takes it as a personal failure in their abilities to teach and typically blames themselves when things go really, really bad. It's why Nomi can appear cold and distant at times, despite how much they obviously aren't this way normally.

So when they do finally become a couple, some of these issues still exist. Nomi can still appear less than affectionate and they tend to internalize their problems, afraid of burderning Randy any further than they already have. It takes a long, long time for Nomi to unlearn some of this and to better cope with their issues (including mental illnesses like anxiety, depression, and ptsd).

Tbh, if Nomi's family could see them now they would all be shocked and heartbroken. Nomi would barely be recognizable with how different their personality is. After all, this isn't the fun-loving and playful sibling they grew up with; Nomi is a battle-hardened warrior with a haunted look in their eyes.

#asks about etn #rc9gn #human!nomicon #randicon #nomicon #*sips tea* So how are we feeling today lads? #Love some good ol' angst every once in a while #the flavor 😔👌

[galacticnova3]

Got headcanons for Lor’s relationship/interactions with the cat wizard ?

BOY DO I!

-Their relationship has actually changed a lot from how it was when they first met! Initially Lor just kinda saw Magolor as some guy who randomly showed up one day and didn't leave and made messes he was too lazy to clean up. Then she started seeing him as some kid who showed up one day and wouldn't leave who was clearly hurting and depressed and she guessed she would have to look after him for a little while until he gets better. Then he was the guy she did so much for, who still lied to her and kept the truth of why she woke up again in the first place hidden despite that. Then he was the boy who didn't really have anywhere to go or anyone to go to who was going to be living with a weight he could barely carry by himself that she couldn't just abandon. Now there is a 50/50 chance she'll just straight up call him son in any given conversation, especially in emotional moments.

-Magolor was kinda the same way. First Lor was just someone who was rude and loud and he just wanted her to take him home and leave him be. Then she was someone who had the audacity to try and replace his own family and act like she was his only family now, even though his real parents were still very much alive and his real home very much still existed. Then Lor became his new found family because he finally accepted he wouldn't be going home and his parents probably wouldn't want him around after what he did anyways. Then she was someone he hurt, and yet who still loved him for some reason, even after knowing he used her as a tool and left her to crash when she was defeated in battle. Now she's his boat mom(allegedly), but you didn't hear that from him. Situations involving catnip or sleep deprivation don't count.

-Lor cares a lot about Magolor. She also worries a lot about Magolor. She has what is pretty much separation anxiety, and if Magolor isn't home 20 or 30 minutes after he said he would be, she immediately starts stressing over it and fearing the worst. After all, Magolor still isn't all that popular on Popstar, and people can be dangerous, and there's wildlife, or he could be lost, or maybe the annual planetary threat has shown up, or

-Magolor is in the same but simultaneously opposite situation. If he gets home and Lor isn't in the same spot he left her and didn't text something about going somewhere/where to find her, he immediately jumps to fearing abandonment. This has resulted in tears on at least 2 occasions but probably more.

-They have gotten very good at that kind of "heads up" communication to make up for those issues.

-Lor knows a lot more about Magolor than he is aware of. This isn't like an ominous thing, more like she knew he was gay gay homo sexual gay before he was even trying to think of how to tell her. Or that he has a "secret" stash of catnip in a loose panel he never fixed when she crashed that he occasionally goes to great lengths to replenish without being caught. He does not realize that he was caught approximately 8 seconds into the first refill he did when Lor was awake.

-Magolor, like most people, often underestimates just how intelligent/powerful Lor is and then every once in a while gets reminded when she casually explains something like dimensional reflections/alternate timelines with the same ease he'd explain how to make mac n' cheese, or does a good deed by using one of her oars to carefully move a fallen tree off a road like a kid pushing a toy car. He really hopes nobody manages to discover and get on Lor's bad side.

#asks #rambling #my headcanons #lor starcutter #magolor

[secondhandnewsradio]

SHN INTERVIEW: Gatlin

by Claire Silverman

Singer/songwriter Gatlin, based in Nashville, released her debut EP Sugarcoated in August 2020. Her captivating and heartfelt songs have been featured during every Second Hand News live show of 2021, and SHN host Claire sat down with Gatlin over zoom to dive deeper into her music, and what's coming next.

CS: Hi Gatlin, thank you for taking the time to chat with me today.

G: Yeah, of course!

CS: What got you started in music?

G: I’ve always loved performing, and I was in choirs and show choirs and theater growing up, and my parents always encouraged me to write my own music. They got me a guitar when I was twelve and they were like “Write songs! Write songs! You have to be set apart!” So then, I just started writing songs.

CS: What inspires you in your music?

G: I really like old music. I think I really started falling in love with songwriting when I listened to old folk music like Bob Dylan and Joni Mitchell, but then also bands, I really loved that aspect and that writing, like The Mamas & the Papas, Fleetwood Mac, and The Birds, and The Beach Boys got me really into the pop element of songs. So I would say, the older type music really is like where my foundation comes from.  

CS: Do you have a specific album that you would say has influenced you the most?

G: I feel like it’s pretty typical to say, but Rumors by Fleetwood Mac. Just like every track— its so cohesive but so different and the songwriting is just...so perfect.

CS: My show is named after “Second Hand News” by Fleetwood Mac, so I totally get it.

[Laughter]

CS: I want to talk a bit about your debut EP, Sugarcoated. I’ve been loving playing songs from Sugarcoated on my show. Your music is very “sad girl” but in “Talking to Myself” and especially in “Grown,” there’s also a joyous quality underneath, something hopeful. Can you tell me a bit about those songs?

G: Yeah, so, before “Talking to Myself,” it was all the “sad girl” stuff, but when I perform, when I play live, I really love high energy stuff and jumping around on stage, dancing, and the music that I was writing kind of wasn’t allowing me to do that live. So, with “Talking to Myself,” it was a sad subject, a breakup, but I wanted it to be hidden behind a really happy feeling, so you feel happy but when you dig in, it’s a little more sad. I would say, my personality, I’m not super duper sad, so I was like, I just want it to feel good. “Grown” is just like the feeling of growing up, it’s bittersweet. It’s not happy or sad, it’s just what it is.

CS: “Being Alone” feels a bit like an anthem for this last year, what with the pandemic keeping us all far apart from each other. Can you talk a bit about that song?

G: I wrote that with my friend Bobbie Allen, her artist project is called Yung Summer, she’s awesome, and a producer called Konrad Snyder. We were in the room and Konrad had that guitar line already made and I was talking about how I really didn’t want to be in a relationship but I’m really bad at being by myself. I feel very lonely and very sad and I’m always wanting to be in a relationship but when I’m in a relationship I’m miserable. We were just talking about how singleness is such a powerful thing and I wish I was better at being by myself.  

CS: What’s it been like, writing and releasing your first EP during this pandemic when concerts and events aren’t happening?

G: That has been so hard. I love playing shows and being on stage, staying out late and meeting tons of  people from different places, and so writing, I like it, but it’s a way to get to performing. It was very hard to feel motivated to finish anything because I was feeling very drained and shows would normally fill me up and I would be like “oh, I want to write this song about this…” and so I had a lot of people around me saying “it’s ok, it will be over soon, you have to push through!” It was really hard for me.

CS: What’s the meaning behind the name of the EP?

G: I’ve always been told to sugarcoat my emotions. I’m an enneagram 4 and I feel like I talk a lot about my mental health but I have clinical depression and anxiety and I’ve always felt in my life that I’ve had to suppress that and not show people all of my emotions because my range is just all over the place. It can feel very not okay to talk about, even with my closest friends, and I felt that a lot of times in my music, I would want to talk about these really deep things but then in the back of my head was like very scared people would be like “oh that’s too much, she’s too much, that’s too much emotion.” A lot of the writing process over the year of me writing that EP, it was teaching me to let go of that. SOme of the songs, like “Talking to Myself” is pretty like “I’m just scratching the surface of what’s going on” and tracks like “Grown” and “I Think About You All the Time” are really about learning to let go of that. Especially by the time I put out the EP, everything I was writing was really raw, and I wasn’t sugarcoating anything. I felt like, okay, I don’t have to do this anymore, I’m going to call this EP this because that’s what I was doing but I’m not going to do it anymore.

CS: You’re also part of a band called Sadie Hawkins. How did that project come together?

G: So, Sadie Hawkins is me, Tristan Bushman, and Daniel Ethridge, and I’ve known those boys for like, four years. It’s funny because we all met each other separately. I have so many songs just with Daniel and just with Tristan, and some with the three of us. We had so many [songs] and none of them fit with our individual artist projects, but we loved the songs so we were like, let’s just have our friend Mitch produce them and put them out and we can play shows every once in a while. It’s a thing we don’t take super seriously and don’t have to worry about, it’s fun and it’s a really good outlet, I think, for all of us. .  

CS: I want to know, what’s the story behind the name? How did you pick that?

G: We went back and forth between a bunch of names, and I hated all of them. At one point, Daniel and Tristan were gung-ho on The Great American Spirits and I was like, guys, our abbreviation would be GAS, we can’t do that. [Laughter] So my guitar player, whose also my best friend, his name is Sean, he plays bass for Sadie Hawkins, and he has an ongoing notes list of “band names” and I was like “Sean give me your list” and he had Sadie Hawkins on there and I was like cool, I’m taking this.  

CS: You guys just released “Take Me Home,” can you tell us a bit about that song?

G: Daniel and Tristan wrote that maybe two years ago, and back when shows were happening, we would always play that one live and it was really very fun. I think the thing that’s really special about Sadie Hawkins is that our voices harmonize really well together, and I think specifically in that song it’s very rock ‘n’ roll. We just put it out and I love that song.

CS: What have been your favorite songs at the moment?

G: Let’s see, Dayglow, I’ve been diving into, I love Dayglow. I’ve really started to get into Dominic Fike, like, all of his music. I had never really listened to him until I moved here and my roommate loves Dominic Fike so “Phone Numbers” has been on repeat. I love this indie/rock band called Attaboy, they have an EP out that I absolutely love. And then Del Water Gap, Adam Melchor, Samia

CS: Do you have any new music coming in the future that you can tell us about?

G: Yeah! I have a single coming out April 9th that I’m really excited about. I wrote that with the same gal that I wrote “Talking to Myself” so it feels like a good follow-up from that song. And then, I have another EP coming out in June that I’m really stoked about. It feels like a good sophomore project

CS: I’m very excited to hear it! I’ve had “Talking to Myself” stuck in my head for the last month, so very excited for your new music. Thank you so much for sitting down for this interview.

G: No, thank you, thank you for playing my songs and for supporting indie artists!

WHERE TO FOLLOW GATLIN:

INSTAGRAM: @gatlin

TWITTER: @gatlin

YOUTUBE: Gatlin

SPOTIFY: Gatlin

INSTAGRAM:@sadiehawkinsband

SPOTIFY: Sadie Hawkins

#second hand news #shn radio #shn interview #gatlin #sadie hawkins #sugarcoated #talking to myself #grown #being alone #take me home #yung summer #dayglow #joni mitchell #fleetwood mac #the mamas and the papas #the beach boys #dominic fike #attaboy #del water gap #adam melchor #samia #rumors

[alittlepudge-neverhurtnobody]

hi! I just started the magicians because of your posts - do you happen to have any more chubby q/eliot headcanons? thanks!

oh i’m so glad!!! i hope you’re enjoying it!! i really wanna write some q/eliot fic but i need to rewatch the show first (i have a hard time writing fic without completely IMMERSING myself in the canon material haha)

but as far as headcanons!

it takes Q a long time to realize he’s getting chubby. he squeezes into his clothes as long as he possibly can before he sizes up. he’s so used to being small and slight that it doesn’t occur to him for a while that he might not be anymore! it drives Eliot wild seeing his once-loose button-downs and sweaters pulled taut around his belly.

likewise, Q LOVES the way Eliot fills out his tailored pants and waistcoats, his hips spreading wider and his belly getting rounder the more he lets himself indulge in something that isn’t alcohol. and Oh Boy does Eliot LOVE to indulge. Eliot is the king of stuffing just because. he likes it, it makes him feel great, it lets him feel acutely all the places that his shirts and vests are straining against him. he pats his belly a lot and arches his hips to push it into Q’s hands when he’s full. he makes a lot of noise when he’s overfull. he Needs Attention or he Will Die.

Eliot keeps his hair longish because he thinks it balances his chubby cheeks better, but he LOVES the way Q’s little buns show off his soft jawline and little double chin. 

Q keeps plopping himself down in Eliot’s lap like he hasn’t gained quite a bit of weight since he STARTED doing that, and Eliot’s strained little noises are getting less and less restrained. he would NEVER ask Q to stop curling up in his lap but a little warning, oof.

Eliot gets really into cooking and experiments with the richest recipes possible. everything is full of butter and cream and made with the finest ingredients he can get his hands on. a lot of truffle butter is involved.

food as comfort!! Q forgets to eat when he’s anxious or having a particularly bad depression time, and Eliot makes sure he has something warm and comforting and nourishing to keep him going. he’s become an expert at coaxing Q into cleaning his plate. and on the flip side, Eliot has nightmares and some really bad ptsd days and Q isn’t as much for cooking but he can make like, mac and cheese from a box if that’s what it takes to get Eliot out of bed and upright. or if it’s a REALLY bad day, some gentle feeding in bed is very much on the table.

Q visiting Eliot in Fillory to find Eliot all plump and indulged from a ton of food fit for a king. Eliot flaunting his new weight in plenty of snug, exceptionally flattering clothes and Q exploring all the lush new curves and bulges he’s gained since last time Q saw him. he always brings a bunch of Earth snacks Eliot requested with him and feeds them all to him. times have changed in Fillory! fat is a sign of good health and fortune! it’s all the rage to be fat and proud of it, like High King Eliot. Q is more than happy to assist.

and conversely, Q pacing his room madly five minutes before Eliot is supposed to portal in from Fillory because he can’t get his jeans done up no matter how hard he tries and there’s like a 90% chance Eliot is going to find that Sexy As Hell but what about that other 10%!!!! (of course, Eliot DOES find it Sexy As Hell.) 

OR, if you prefer, Q pacing his room in excited anticipation five minutes before Eliot is supposed to portal in from Fillory because his jeans don’t button anymore and he’s SO PSYCHED to show Eliot that he’s finally outgrown them!! Eliot brings a ton of Josh’s most decadent treats and feeds them to Q in between some good old-fashioned body worship and kissing all over his soft parts. [depending on where you are in the show you may not have met Josh yet! he is a very good cook]

I’m very into the concept of Q the stress-eater as well. like specifically when he has deadlines or a quest he can’t figure out, as opposed to his normal everyday anxiety. he thinks better with his hair up and something in his mouth. 

also fuck there’s a scene where like, this Will Not make sense without context but at one point in this show, one character gives another a big plate of bacon and then, after they eat it, very tenderly and sensually cleans their hands to soothe them? with the line “gluttony. it’s an excellent part of being human.” I want THAT but Q/Eliot. one calms the other down by feeding them a big plate of something heavy and decadent and then gently washes their hands and strokes their hair and takes care of them.

galaxy brain: Q and Eliot are both chubby, love that about one another, and are both super into how soft the other is. hands grabbing at belly pudge and rolls and stubble against soft double chins and chubby thighs squishing against chubby thighs. lots of jiggling and getting a little out of breath and gently, affectionately teasing each other about it. afterward they feed each other snacks in bed and cuddle and laugh some more.

THANKS ANON!!! i hope you keep enjoying the magicians, let me know what you think!!!

#the magicians #queliot #chubby q #chubby eliot

[mi6021huwfenny]

Inspirations and Influences

I really enjoyed the conceptual integrity of Boom is Life. It was transcendent, the sheer workmanship and the execution of the production. The combination of both stop motion and 2D elements was a great influence for the concept of my own work. The poetic monologue over the unique visual stimuli, the neon yellows and greens mixed with the contrasting darkness, made the film feel like it had heightened production quality and impeccable idea development on the creators part. It was very idiosyncratic and I was passionate about replicating this into my own work. I am really just curious about multi-media expressionism. placing a 2D character into a home-made 3D environment was an incredibly inspired choice by all accounts and I would like to do something similar by using both 2D and stop motion together in unison for my final project.

Hanging by a Thread was also a strong influence on my work. I liked the incorporation of mental health and the manic state of mind within the short video. I found the inclusion of self exploration and mental health stigma really enriched the concept and I found in most of my work I like to explore mental health and using animation, and other forms of art, as a way to explore self expression and visually show ones struggles and mental health. It uses less complex story telling and narrative, focusing on primarily visual stimuli. And the fact that the film was made by hand using stop motion really interests me.  

I found this film a few years ago, because as a child I was always interested in Peter and the Wolf - especially the Disney version which I had on video cassette. I think it was a Merrie Melodies episode, in the same vein as Silly Symphonies but I cannot be sure. From what I can remember, the wolf in the animation was lumbering but lithe, a being of power and as a child, very traumatic. This may have influenced my dreams and influenced me to find fear and horror interesting as a concept. 

This version of the classic story was recreated in 2006, by a team of animators from Poland, the UK, Norway, Mexico and Switzerland. It is a 30 minutes short film set in Russia and was created using stop motion animation. There is an uncanny realism to it that is reminiscent of Laika productions and films, it is also similar to Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr Fox with the use of real fur. The environments are so rich with atmosphere and add so much to the film. 

Above, Disney’s Peter and the Wolf (1946)

Above, “Piotruś i wilk” [Peter and the Wolf], (2006)

Fantastic Mr Fox (2009)

Fantastic Mr Fox, directed by Wes Anderson, is a poignant influence for my work. The wolf has only a few seconds of screen time but it is powerful and commands a powerful screen presence. It is used as a metaphor for the wild side of Mr Fox, as is shown visually by having the animals all anthropomorphic and bipedal, except the character of the wolf. It has no lines of dialogue and simply stares at the characters curiously. 

“Chirin’s Bell” or “Ringing Bell” (1978)

To a lesser extent, the underrated 1978 anime Chirin’s Bell influenced the idea development of my work. Following a lamb who’s family is slaughtered by a wolf, travels to the wolfs lair to become the wolfs apprentice so he would never feel as powerless as he did when he was unable to protect his family. As the lamb grows he becomes a formidable creature and joins the wolf on his hunts. They attack the farm where Chirin lived as a lamb. Chirin suffers PTSD and attacks the wolf before he can murder innocent sheep. Chirin kills the wolf and goes back to his flock, they reject him. He has become stronger but he is, much like the wolf, feared. He has become the thing he hated the most as a child and now the only person he had by his side, the wolf, was dead by Chirin’s own hand (hoof?). Chirin travels back to the cave alone, presumably to die. 

I found the wolf both as a teacher and as an animal with urges and faults was an interesting narrative device. As if, although guided through life by a teacher, the outcome and flaws of such a thing can have dire consequences.

My Depression Is Like Having A Bad Dog https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/kayeblegvad/dog-years

I read this article a few years ago and it always stuck with me. This is a major influence on my idea and work. I found it incredibly relatable at the time, and now, as I have grown and developed as an artist and a person, it still gets me in my soul. It was reflective of my mind state and allowed me to visualise my issues such as depression, anxiety, suicidal thought into more real, malleable things. The metaphorical extension of using an animal as a way to express your depressions behaviour really inspired me to create this project.

Mood boards

As a pseudo-cinephile, I wanted to encapsulate the mood and feeling into my work that resonates with myself and can properly convey a feeling towards an audience that can help them understand. 

I love A Clockwork Orange and Trainspotting, and I find opening scene of A Clockwork Orange (referenced in Trainspotting) interesting as an image. I wanted to pay homage to it, as an outsider - not self proclaimed but scathingly honest - it shows the characters as both young and misguided, as well as something unsettling, something not quite right. As they are holding milk in the scene, this shows innocence and naivety. I wanted to have something similar in my own film. 

8 Mile, Quadraphenia and Donnie Darko also focus on the outsider. People that are rejected from their societal groups and are neglected for being different. The use of white space, in Coroline (and to a lesser extent Mac Miller’s music video for Self Care) is something I am eager to experiment with. Its a beautiful way of exploring loneliness and separation of reality, akin to the dissociative effects of depression. This also allowed me to explore the use of black and white in film as an artistic tool. Sometimes it is uses as a flashback (American History X), and others it is used to create tone within a film (Raging Bull).

I was interested in stop motion since I started the course. And I find the works of Laika Studios. Will Vinton, the late founder of Laika Studios created fascinating character models

I thought the imagery of the berserker was an interesting motif to add to my work as I liked the notion of it. I was a man who wore an animal pelt to empower himself, however I wanted the juxtaposition of the narrator wearing a wolf pelt and being weak and vulnerable - the polar opposite of the berserker’s purpose. 

With the addition of Peter and the Wolf for inspiration, I also referred to Grimm's Fairy Tales for inspiration. The image of the wolf has been moulded, in my opinion, through folklore and fairy tales for millennia. I thought that having the start of the animation as a quasi-Charlie and Lola-esuqe style would appeal to the thought of children's books and would give the beginning a strange, unnerving quality. The wolf from the Never Ending Story was also an influence, as it shares the overall appearance with my own designs as a black wolf with haunting yellow eyes and giant teeth. 

Milt Kahl’s use of animation in old Disney films such as The Sword in the Stone and Robin Hood was interesting, the constant line movement and the inconsistencies in appearance of certain characters appealed to me greatly. Especially the different designs of wolves through out Disney’s 2D animated era.

Isle of Dogs and Fantastic Mr. Fox, both directed by Wes Anderson, were heavy influences on how I wanted the wolf to appear and move. Using real fur because I liked how it would move about when they were animated.  

Hemlock Grove also deals with wolves, however they are more of the lycanthrope kind. I liked how in one scene the wolf appears from the jaws of one of the characters during a transformation and I wanted to pay homage to that in my animation.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #337

“if i showed you my soul, would you cover your eyes?”

What's your favorite brand of chips? I like Lays best. Are you a good painter? My Painting teacher when I was in college last said I did wonderfully, but I definitely beg to differ. Before buying a car, do you usually test drive it? N/A Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud? No, but a teacher has. It was so fucking awkward; it was very pacifist, the topic being about war, and it had some depressing tones of death; there was just silence at the end of it, and I still don't know if it was shock or "what the fuck, she's messed up." There was this one guy that went, "Nobody is going to clap at that?", though, which I thought was pretty nice and reassuring. Do you like pineapple? Yeah, I do. Have you ever met your favorite author? I don't have a favorite author. Have you and your best friend ever liked the same person? No. Do you have any freckles? Not on my face (though oddly enough, I did as a kid?), but on random parts of my body. How many different languages can you say goodbye in? English, German, and then Spanish. Do you like or hate the smell of fish? I hate it. Have you ever been to Sea World? As a child, yes. I'd never go as an adult. Do you know someone who suffers from short-term memory loss? I don't know how this is actually diagnosed, but my memory is absolutely fucking nightmarish, almost exclusively in short-term situations. I can remember the most obscure events from my childhood, but not what I said to you five seconds prior. I'm rather sure my medications have made it worse over time. Have you ever read any of John Green's books? I got like, one chapter or less into The Fault in Our Stars before the book got replaced with the Wings of Fire series, so I never finished it. Are you a protective person? I'm an immensely protective person over those that matter to me. Have you ever experienced an earthquake? No, thankfully. I'm terrified of earthquakes. What's one thing that makes everything in life worthwhile? The fact that to our proven knowledge, this is the only one we'll ever experience. What type of waffles do you like? (Plain, blueberry etc..) I prefer plain, but I can eat chocolate chip ones as well as blueberry and strawberry. Have you ever seen the show Wife Swap? Yeah, I actually quite like it. Do you like chicken or beef better? Or do you not eat meat? Chicken, I think. I eat meat, but wish I didn't. What brand of dish soap do you use? Dawn, usually. Do any of your neighbors have dogs? Yes, and they never shut up. Do you believe in fortune tellers? They're money-driver bullshitters. Have you ever been to one? No, and judging by the fervor in the above question, I hope you can tell I never would do so and thus monetarily support them. Do you like regular or chocolate milk better? Chocolate, of course. But I love normal milk, too. Once again, wish I didn't, though. Forcing a cow to constantly reproduce to lactate is pretty fucking cruel. Growing up, did you listen to country music? I actually did. Do you normally wash your hands in warm or cold water? If it's just a quick wash, it's usually cold because our water takes quite a few moments to warm up. However, if I'm looking to thoroughly wash my hands, it's gotta be relatively hot. Do you believe in mediums? I see them in a worse light than I do fortune tellers, so... Like sure, manipulate grieving people for profit, sounds great. Have you ever been to one? Obviously not. Have you ever dated someone on the football team? No. Do you have a gazebo at your house? No. Do you like tomatoes? Solely when straight from a garden and on a bacon and mayonnaise sandwich. Otherwise I am noooot a fan. Are you a competitive person? Not very, but there's a tiny spark in me, really when it just comes to photography. I hate it. Google or Bing? Does literally anyone use Bing? What's your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? Ummm I don't think so. Have you ever given someone flowers? Yes. What is something you might eat with a hamburger? Fries or mac and cheese. What is a sport that you’ve always wanted to play, but never got a chance to. None. What is a fruit that you might eat in the morning? A banana. Who might you send a selfie to? I don't send selfies to anyone. About how many pages is the longest book you’ve ever read? I THINK it surpassed 1,000? At least in the high hundreds. Who would you call first after getting engaged to tell them the news? Probably Mom. Around what time do you start feeling tired enough to go to sleep? Truth be told, it's usually arouund 7-8. I rarely make it to 9:00 nowadays. What trends do you refuse to give in to? I don't even know what's trendy right now. What subjects in history interest you most? As dark as it is, I find the Holocaust interesting to learn about. Are you superstitious in any way? No. How do you get rid of anxiety? What a relevant question, being in a partial hospitalization program right now. Coping skills that help me are doing deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, and a little jerk back to reality is splashing freezing cold water on my face. It also helps to talk it out with somebody, just get my feelings into words. Then if it's a true anxiety or panic attack, I have my "emergency" anxiety prescription. Are there any items of jewelry you never/rarely take off? My lip and tragus piercings never do, and I always wear two rings. Do you find yourself correcting people’s grammar often? Not really, no. It just seems rude and snobby to me, honestly, if it's not in an educational setting, like helping someone with an essay. Correcting someone in your average conversation is just... unnecessary, imo. Now if you're talking like in surveys and stuff, I definitely do in questions and such, but I don't point it out. Gummi worms: Yay or nay? Yay, love 'em. What do you do when you have ‘me time’? I only ever have "me" time, so what I always do... Do you lack common sense sometimes? I have a horrible lack of common sense, shit's embarrassing. Have you ever poured glue on your hand just to peel it off for fun? No. How do babies make you feel? "Nervous. They’re so damn breakable." <<<< Mood. Would you/Have you milked a cow? No, and I'm not interested. What really gives you the creeps? #!: seeing a baby move inside its mother's stomach. It will actually make me scream and/or cry because it just grosses me the fuck out. Whale sharks' mouths also creep me out big time. Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? Yeah, I love cold pizza. When you're wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? We normally have cashew bars that I like if I'm really hungry. Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Obviously Pikachu. My niece loves Pikachu anyway, so she'd be ecstatic to see a real one. Or well, maybe I'd go for an Eevee. Not as dangerous with electricity and all but just as cute and small. Do you like marshmallows? Yeah. If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? No. It would ruin so many factors of the temporary nature of life. Things would lose meaning, get old and boring, it'd be much easier to take advantage of things... There are many reasons why I have no desire to live forever. Hell, I even wonder if I want an afterlife for those same reasons. Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? As a little kid, yeah. Do you like quesadillas? I like cheese, chicken, and shrimp ones. What's the greatest/most influential song you've ever heard? Ozzy's "Life Won't Wait." Do you prefer to pull off band-aids slowly or quickly? I tend to do it slowly. What was the last thing someone told you that had you at a loss for words? Uhhh I feel like Sara said something, but I don't remember what. What was the last health scare you had? Ugh... I'm kind of living in one now. As my legs have been worsening, I'm becoming increasingly concerned I'm eventually going to need a wheelchair for "walking" longer distances. And mind you, "long" for me is probably short for the average person. My knees do nothing but crack incessantly and burn when I use them, and they frequently feel like they're going to give way, and in a few rare instances, have. It's my own fucking fault for not sucking it up and exercising with my mom in the room, so I'd like to move on. What is your favorite filling for a piece of chocolate? Caramel. Do you enjoy the sound of birds chirping? I do. If applicable, what’s your favorite drug, and why? I don't do drugs, so. What was the last TV show you binge-watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender with Sara. Would you rather eat burgers or tacos? Definitely burgers. I don't like tacos. Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got marred? Yes. What was the last job you applied for? Did you get the job? Deli worker, and yes. Do you use TikTok? No. What decorations do you have in your bathroom? None. Our bathroom is pretty small. Well, the one we use, anyway. The one attached to the master's bedroom isn't cleaned up yet, but we'll use it in case of emergency. What year was your favourite band formed? (Before people think I'm smart, no, I looked the dates up, haha.) Well Ozzy was Black Sabbath's vocalist, and the band formed in 1968, but Ozzy became a solo artist in 1979. What's your favourite fruit? Strawberries. Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? No. Do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones? I prefer psychological. Are you easily paranoid? Yeah. Do you have a favorite obsession? Meerkats and Mark are kinda tied, haha. Are you a workaholic? No. Have you ever given a tattoo before and would you like to? No and no; that would be an awful idea, given I have bad tremors in my hands. Have you ever seen the movie Labyrinth? I actually have not. Would you rather be called pretty or hot? Pretty. Have you ever gotten a serious injury at school? What happened? No. Have you ever performed in front of my large group of people? Yes; I was a dancer for many years. Have you ever fundraised? If so, what for? You know how Facebook recommends making fundraisers for a charity of your choice for your birthday? I've done that for the Trevor Project and two charities for ovarian and pancreatic cancers. Are you wearing earrings right now? Ugh, no, even though I want to be. The first holes in my ears are just too stretched for normal earrings because I wore heavy ones too often, and I just don't have nice earrings. I still want to get very small gauges to put in the stretched holes. Name a singer whose voice makes you swoon? Fall Out Boy's Patrick Stump can do that, holy shit. "America's Suitehearts" does it for me, man. Y'know, when his voice goes all deep. Do your pets follow you when you walk around the house? My cat Roman is quite literally my shadow. Where I go, he goes. What do you do online? I seem to only exist online, really, so I've got a lot on my plate to choose from, yet I'm still bored half the time, haha. I'm essentially always watching or listening to YouTube, I play World of Warcraft for varying amounts of time depending on the day, I scroll through deviantART, check KM periodically, do surveys obviously, "work" at the wikis I contribute to, wander around on Facebook... idk, that's all I really do at least semi-regularly online. Haha oh, wait, I also check Craigslist like... every day for tarantula and hognoses even though I can't currently get either. Let me dream. Do you have any scars on your face? I have a couple on my chin from when I fainted and busted it open. What countries were your grandparents born in? In the US. What was the most damaging relationship (romantic or not) that you’ve ever been a part of? Ultimately, with Jason, because of how it ended. The relationship itself wasn't at all damaging to me, but the breakup shook my entire fucking world. When in your life was your self-esteem at its lowest point? Self-esteem? Now. I'm very unhappy with my weight going back up, my body is just in poor health in general, I'm not employed, not in school... I just feel like a lowlife. Who was the last person you cut out of your life? Do you regret it? I want to say my sister's mother-in-law. Sure don't, considering she revealed her disgusting support for conversion therapy. I'm civil around her in person, but I kicked that woman off my Facebook so fucking quick when I saw that shit. Who is the most attractive person you know personally? That I know personally... I would say Alon, but I haven't seen even a picture of her in forever. Summer, though, shares selfies frequently, and by god is she gorgeous. I know a lot a lot of beautiful women, asldkjf;awe. It's funny that I'm blanking on men, at least involving people I still "know"/are somehow present in my life. Would you rather look older or younger than you are? I'm fine looking my age. Have you ever dated someone who was very vastly different from your “type”? No. What is the biggest project you’re currently working on? I suppose you can count an RP plot as a "project." I'm procrastinating so bad on it because it is going to be A LOT of writing. Is there a person from your past that you wonder about frequently? Who? Take a shot in the dark for me. Who knows you best, excluding romantic partners? My mother. What are your thoughts on human creation? I believe we evolved. How many people have you had sex with? One. Have you ever had a yard sale? Yeah. Have you ever been surfing? No.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''voices'' by motionless in white