#My friends and I just don’t feel

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[lazylittledragon]

Please please tell me that Tara just loves baby dekarios

oh she’s invested from day ZERO

top 10 pictures taken right before a specimen jar ‘accidentally’ falls off a shelf ^^^

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #galemance #dadkarios #i haven’t played gale origin so i don’t know her very well yet but i feel like she and tav have a kind of. distant respect at first? #idk about you but with my childhood friends’ partners i’m out for blood if anything bad happens #but like after a while she’s not above an ear scratch and a lap cuddle #also she’s got the mini dekarios to keep safe now!!!! #or cyra is just comfy who’s to say

[pinkgibbon]

anton chigurh goes to stardew valley

#every1 in the notes asking me why I made this 🙄 art isn’t about why! it’s about why not! why don’t you marry safe art if you love it so much #i got a better shirt for him eventually but i dont have a pic of it #roleplaying as him was the only way i was finally able to bring myself to do joja route #no country for old men #stardew valley #i like to think of him as being magically stuck there for an indeterminate amount of time and trying to survive w/o murdering the whole tow #anton chigurh #marnie stardew valley #i better not see ANY marnie slander!!! #how do u tag them #stardew valley marnie #sdv marnie #morris stardew valley #sdv morris #stardew valley morris #i was not gonna romance anyone obviously but i really enjoyed drawing that pic of him w morris so i got the marry morris mod and it is so #goddamn funny. just the idea of. anton chigurh x morris. me and friends r having the time of our life with it. i even made fanart. #which i may post later if i feel like it #my art #fanart #ncfom

[identitty-dickruption]

one of the worst things in the world is that feeling unloveable can (and will) make you act in ways that reinforces itself. I feel unloveable so I don’t respond to messages so people reach out less so I feel unloveable. one of the hardest things in the world is fighting back the brain demons long enough to break the cycle

#my best friend doesn’t have tumblr but I am mentally sending him so many apologies right now jesus fuckkkkkkk #I feel so fucking awful rn #I went and watched taskmaster and that distracted me a bir #but literally. suicidal thoughts out of nowhere. urge to drink out of nowhere #it’s like. 8:15pm and I’m thinking of just going to bed now #only way to get my brain to shut up #I have such a busy weekend ahead as well #godddddd I want to enter hermit mode so bas #I’m not gonna do anything stupid don’t worry #but I sure Feel Like Doing It

[offkilterkeys]

The world isn’t ready for my alpha kid readings.

#jane crocker #jake english #roxy lalonde #dirk strider #homestuck #alpha kids #Jane is the struggler don’t you EVER contest that #many might argue it’s Jake but he doesn’t struggle inherently #usually he just vibes until he’s forced into situations wherein he struggles #Jane struggles from the beginning #her entire arc is a struggle #also had to change it from “the fujoshi” mostly cause I don’t like that and also cause it’s not as versatile as the other labels #I don’t actually think Dirk is boring btw i just think that when put up against his friends he has a lot less complexity going on #like his arc is fairly simple as opposed to Jane and Jake’s #and even Roxy’s #His problems seem inherently a lot more straight forward to me simply because he’s articulate enough to realize he has problems #Jane and Jake are almost there #problems are like on the tip of their tongues #and Roxy is kinda like the John of the team where she isn’t even gonna acknowledge the possibility of problems #girl is like “problems? haha not me #I’m the put together one in this group :)” #and just ignores all her internalized misogyny and heteronormativity #she is a mirror to Vriska in that they both put a lot of emphasis on preforming romanticism as a means of affirming their gender #anyway my alpha kid readings are way too boring so I feel like nobody would really be interested in them Sighhhh

[dreamofbecoming]

listen i know we all love steve “completely ignorant of queer culture to the point that bisexuality is a surprise” harrington being roasted and educated in turns by robin and eddie, yadda yadda, good stuff. i read “they made a horror version of rocky?” in a fic recently and cackled. also a big fan of “he knew he was bi from the start and just never talked about it” as a trope, love it excellent well done

but what about steve who realizes after starcourt that the most important person in his life now has this thing that’s a major part of her life that he knows nothing about, and what if he fucks it up? what if he says something ignorant or rude by accident, and hurts her? what if he loses her because he didn’t know the right thing to say? what if he can’t keep her safe because he doesn’t know what to look out for? absolutely fucking not, this steve says

and listen she’d never say anything, because she can tell that he can tell how much she likes teasing him and teaching him things, so he plays dumb, and she thinks it’s very sweet. but she notices when the zines she keeps under her bed that she buys at that one secret bookshop in indy when she can sneak away on family trips start going missing, always one at a time, and replaced in a few days with another disappearing. and she finds the new ones he must have gone to buy the weekend she was at her aunt’s house hidden in the back of his closet when she goes to steal one of his sweaters. and she notices when he slips more of her queerer movie recommendations into his personal take home pile rather than the movie night stack when he thinks she’s not looking.

she doesn’t notice when he drives to indianapolis after she tries to explain to him why she can’t just ask out a cute girl, tries to impress on him the fear attached to every moment of attraction that he simply has never had to feel, but later she finds a crumpled receipt from a diner in one of his jacket pockets when she’s looking for his keys, and the address is across the street from the bar the gorgeous woman at the bookstore told her about, the one she memorized the address of but hasn’t worked up the guts to think about visiting, and she knows he must have gone looking for a place like that, must have been trying to understand, must have been scoping it out to make sure it was somewhere she could feel safe, after she told him she never had.

so when eddie nearly pops a blood vessel when they clock each other and she mentions that steve is the only person she’s ever come out to before, her hackles come up. because she gets it, she does, he’s only known king steve until recently, so it makes sense that he would be afraid, be concerned for her safety.

but steve is her person, and no one- no one- has ever made her feel as protected or as cared for as he does. no one has ever tried as hard to understand her, no one has ever put so much work into making her feel safe and seen and loved. and she thinks maybe even if no one else ever does, that’s ok. because she has steve, and more importantly steve has her, and that means no one gets to question his ally credentials in her presence without a dressing down to remember, no matter how well they mean or how recently they helped save the world.

(and maybe she’s not as surprised as she could be when he figures out bisexuality all on his own, because she’s been reading all the same pamphlets he has, after all. and she’s seen the way he looks at eddie, i mean come on. maybe no one else has noticed, but then, nobody knows steve harrington like she does.)

#stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #platonic stobin #steddie #(if you squint) #this got away from me #i just really love love giving steve a bit more credit yk? #like yes he’s very stupid and he has a history of being self absorbed #and we love that about him #he’s very flawed and that makes him interesting #but i really feel like one of his defining traits is his need to be useful to the people he loves #combine that with his abandonment issues and i really feel like he would be scared of fucking up and losing robin #and yeah he would play dumb like he does with dustin and d&d #but i don’t believe he knows nothing about d&d after all this time and i don’t believe he would let himself know nothing about queer culture #i’m just so so attached to the idea of steve who knows that teasing him for being dumb is his friends’ love language with him #so he pretends to be dumber than he is so they have chances to explain things to him #also stobin sharing clothes is so so so important to me just putting that out there #anyway i just think they’re neat #my writing

[runningwithscizzorz]

I feel a deep sense of anger and grief for Palestine. I’m angry at God, at the world powers donating to those who are killing civilians, angry at people looking away and encouraging you to worry about yourself when people can’t even walk down their streets without being attacked. I’m angry that my friend donated, only for it to be stolen and taken by the soldiers abusing Palestine. I’m angry that I can’t do much of anything but tell you to at least CARE about the people being bombed and slaughtered. Please, if you can’t do anything please just CARE about these people and listen to their stories. Hold them in your hearts at the very least. Don’t pretend they don’t exist or just brush it off as “its been going on for centuries, there’s no point in stopping it.” I want to do more, I want to make people care and love those who need it, rather than continue spreading anger and hate.

These are real people I’ve drawn. Keep the people of Palestine in your heart at the very least please.

#two of my best friends had to run away from their homes because they were Muslim #it was too dangerous for them to stay #but in leaving they also had to leave behind large parts of their families #they tell me about their friends and loved ones that have died and how empty they feel to it #that they also feel a deep sense of hopelessness and guilt at not being able to help #I have a friend now who teaches me about the qur’an and how it talks about having peace and not being afraid in times like these #so please DONT BE AFRAID TO SAY SOMETHING #Please talk about this with your friends #please educate yourself on what’s happening #please please please just CARE about the people of Palestine #even if it’s scary and even if it hurts you #do it for those who don’t have a choice to be afraid or hurt #free palestine #palestine

[throwthisawayplease]

i firmly believe that if hannibal was made in a post ofmd society will and hannibal would’ve been riding each other bare back on prime time tv…

#2016 wasn’t ready for the truth #hannigram #hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #our flag means death #ofmd #after ofmd came interview with the vampire and good omens #my friend and i are watching hannibal s3 right now and are genuinely confused why they don’t kiss in the end #it just feels like a natural progression of the story

[missjashin]

It’s been some time and Dustin and Steve go to see Wayne. Maybe he is moving out of Hawkins and they go to help with packing or maybe they just wanna check on him and he is reminiscing Eddie. Either way he has punch of old photos out. School photos, birthdays, first concerts, various different types from different ages.

One photo really catches Steve’s eye tho. It’s a group photo from the early 70s, taken in the summer. Steve asks Wayne “Why do you have this?”, seemingly little shocked and bewildered by the photo. Wayne looks at the photo and smiles telling it was taken in a summer camp Eddie once went. “That’s my boy” Wayne tells pointing one kid among the others. Dustin also looks at the photo and smiles. It seems like a good and happy memory.

So Wayne and Dustin get little puzzled when they hear choked sob coming from Steve. He is trying to hold it together but not really succeeding, his hands in his hair pulling so hard it can’t be comfortable. Just walking away from them now, fighting the tears. Rather weird and strong reaction for a mere summer camp photo, especially coming from Steve… Till you take a little closer look at the photo.

Because yes, with his buzz cut hair and thousand watt smile there’s little Eddie. Little Eddie who has his arm over another kid’s shoulder, pulling closer a little boy with a sweet smile, chestnut hair and tiny moles dotted on his face.

#steve harrington #dustin henderson #eddie munson #wayne munson #stranger things #steddie #it’s Steddie cuz they my star crossed lovers #used all the tissues while crying over this hc sorry about that #feel free to end me 💖✨ #sad headcanon #I have something sweeter too guys don’t worry I’ve just been lazy and need to write it down #it’s just all in my brain atm #also if you don’t understand this one : Steve was in the photo with Eddie #childhood friends AU #kinda #Steve owns the same photo #remembers the summer camp and the boy he had so much fun with but didn’t realize it was Eddie until now #angst

[stuckinapril]

I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling

#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all #Being dry and cryptic to me #And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship #I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since #And my palette is so cleansed #When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist #There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but #I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out #I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually #Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like #Yeah I’m dropping this for now #I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk #Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill #The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all #I fr cracked it #I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway #But they’re so not worth it #Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun #Not for me #I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me #And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious #Which is why it never works #Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different #So lame #Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags

[fuumiku]

Chilcille huh... ngl I was a little suspicious. like why would you do that, huh... hope youre not mischaracterizing anyone in your weird and wacky ship. a little weird. but then you said they both had flat asses and you know what? I salute you and your perfect characterization

The fact you seem to think you managed to not make this ask insulting is baffling. What the hell. Fuck off.

If you actually care to be open minded about the ship, I talk about marchil on my sideblog 24/7. Funnily enough I’m currently 4k words deep into an analysis of their character arc together in canon, but that’ll take some more days to get done. Some notable posts:

Of course without counting the analyses of Chilchuck on his own I’ve made, like my masterpost on his family situation. Or better yet you could also read my fics for them, see how weird and wacky they are here.

Wanna talk about mischaracterisation? They’re literally a comedic duo who interacts 24/7. Marchil is crazy bc ppl are like "did those shipper read with their eyes CLOSED?? They have no chemistry!" Meanwhile canon is like: "She’s obsessed with knowing everything she can about him and she reads him like a book." In her eyes he’s like that extra rare and hard and shiny unlockable dating sim character, that brooding mysterious character trope that’s thrilling to crack open and typically is at the center of the plot. The wife roleplay???? "Hey, did you know his type is blondes. Hey did you know he likes his women pretty and blonde. Hey did you know he likes her hair. Hey did you know that he teases her 24/7 and it’s one of the few things that consistently gets him grinning because he finds her reactions cute." Like a schoolyard bully pulling on the pigtails of the girl he likes.

It’s not like they have any thematic narratives or relevance. It’s not like she’ll live to 1000 and has existential dread about it while he’s logically gonna be her next friend to die at 50 and wether it’s romantic or platonic it’ll terrify her to lose him. It’s not like it’s fear of death x fear of rejection so they’re both obsessed with the thought of loss looming, past and ongoing. It’s not like it’s half-elf x half-foot and there’s an inherent journey that was and still is to dispel prejudices and truly come to see each other. It’s not like he’s painfully real and raw and flawed but still a good man, that he’s not the figure of prince charming that she’s always dreamed of while still being virtuous and worth fighting for. Or you know, her hair being golden and it being the epitome of beauty to him, and his hair turning silver and it being Marcille’s worst nightmare.

Just a weird wacky ship who means nothing but shallow things to people who have weirdo reasons for liking it. Like can you not. If you’re not imaginative enough to think of reasons why this ship may have an appealing dynamic that’s not my issue. But yes, yes, they’re both flat asses to me, thanks.

#Dungeon meshi #Ask #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Marcille donato #chilchuck tims #Marchil #You me the parking lot after i finish and post my arc analysis #Sobbing……… we’re 20 over here in the rarepair pit come on. Like do u not see how obsessed i am. Do u think they like. Mean nothing to me #Do u think it’s all incidental and i slipped and the 10 thousands of words I write for them had no thought or feelings behind them or #Their arc is so beautifuuuuul they come to see each other and her standards become more real while he allows hope and openness #Into his heart again 😭😭 not the way two of their scenes lowkey read as a proposal… #Anyways I hope this makes it clear I’ll fight to my dying breath for them. #I don’t want trouble and i imagine you don’t either so just don’t come shitting on my doorstep #In positive news my fic Grind Me Down Sweetly recently reached 100 likes and 1k hits <3 it can also be read as just platonic so if you like #Them as a duo even as friends give it a shot #Every time I see someone shitting on marchil I start making marchil content faster btw #Not art

[peachfruitcake]

not really here anymore

#twf #the walten files #the walten files fanart #twf fanart #susan woodings #twf susan #the walten files susan #twf4 #the walten files 4 #god #u have no clue how crazy that episode made me feel and how much it made all that Wait worth it. it was everything I’ve been killing to see #art #digital art #procreate #fanart #doodle #i wanna draw more 4 fanart but DRAINED BURNT OUT IM SICK AND BUSY UUUEJEJEGJJJHHHH I HATE DRAWBACKS SCREW EVERYTHING #also moving soon just don’t know what day cuz my dads friend needs to sort a bunch of stuff out #Also omg tysm for the 23 saves on my Susan playlist this is my dream as a Susan fan I feel so great I’m also super happy that many thought #of me when watching twf 4 #yipeee

[dstabilize]

doodlesss

#i know this is a weird mix of medias i have a lot of interests sorry\😭😭 #fnaf #fhfif #the owl house #the collector toh #gregory fnaf #glamrock freddy #i feel like gregory and collie would be friends..... #my favvvssss #five nights at freddy's #fosters home for imaginary friends #i’m just now adding these days later i forgot people don’t only use the acronym😭😭

[buddiesmutslut]

LISTEN. If we get a bisexual!Buck arc, I will ACTUALLY LITERALLY CRY, I’m already emotional just thinking about it, it will literally bring me so much joy

BUT

I don’t want it at the expense of an Eddie coming out arc…

Bc listen, I read a post talking abt how the writers probably won’t give both of them a really flushed out Queer Realization Arc bc it would be redundant, which like, okay sure, yes, I can see why you wouldn’t want to have two main, male characters going through the exact same thing, so sure, whatever, BUT -

I feel like, out of Buddie, Eddie is going to be the one that really struggles with coming to terms with his sexuality.

Eddie, who had to be The Man Of The House at 10 years old. Eddie, who grew up in the Deep South. Eddie, whose family is Catholic. Eddie, who already had a strained relationship with his judgmental parents. Eddie, who had a WIFE. Eddie, who says that what he had with Shannon was magic & compares every relationship he had to her. Eddie, who was in the military, which is infamous for DADT. Eddie, whose aunt constantly pushes him at random women because he needs to not be alone. Eddie, who canonically suffers from comp-het, saying that dating women feels like putting on a performance, not that he understands why. Eddie, who dated Ana & was planning on staying with her, even though he was unhappy, for his son.

I think Buck would be way chiller with realizing he’s queer - if he doesn’t already know, which is my fav head-cannon - & I feel like he wouldn’t struggle as much bc it’s Eddie, & Eddie is his best friend, and gender wouldn’t play as big a part for him as I think it would for Eddie.

I would love for them both to have an arc where they worked through their expectations when it comes to relationships & realize that they’re queer, but idk man, I feel like Eddie is going to be the one to really struggle & he deserves to really have that flushed out.

Idk, I’ve been thinking about this ever since I saw that post & nobody I know watches 9-1-1 😭

#buddie #911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #Queer Buddie Arcs #I want them both to have nice things is that really so unreasonable? #literally all of their other arcs take place at the same time #let them realize they’re queer & in love with each other at the same time too #honestly this only applies if Buddie goes canon which I’m not even convinced is going to happen #i have so many feelings #Buck would just be like “I’m in love with my best friend? fucking dope #bc my darling boy just wants to be loved & chosen & Eddie has already done those things #either way I wish they would stop putting them with random ass women who have been on the show for less than 10 minutes #I don’t need them to go canon in s7 but if we don’t even get a HINT of it this season I’ll probably quit watching #unless s7 is REALLY good bc they put some WEIRD shit in recently that I dfw #I have no idea how Tumblr is supposed to work am I doing this right? idk pls advise

[emry-stars-art]

Anyone that’s come to talk to me about this au: I am hugging you and/or placing a nice trinket in your hands, this was one of the funniest things that’s been brought up so far. Historically Andrew does not get along with his personal guards so Day assumes the worst when finally turning him over to Abram

And yes, of course you can have the full pic✨

#digital art and I are not friends yet #I try so hard and yet she evades me #I might redo a little traditionally #I Do Not Like how Kevin turned out in panel two #take it I don’t want to look at it anymore #it’s too clean 😖 where’s the texture where’s the sketchy lines left over from the underdrawing #digital art feels sterile and out of proportion #maybe I just need to find a new style #different somehow #ANYWAY ENOUGH ABOUT THAT #mini comic #aftg #fan art #my art #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #royal au #andreil #digital

[chirpsythismorning]

“Mike said his life started the day he found El in the woods, which was technically the following night. What he said had nothing to do with offending Will because he went missing the day before.”

#byler #ignore the logistics of it #mike’s brain thinks of Nov 6th as the day Will went missing aka the day his life stopped #he met El after a whole day of worrying about will #its the day they had to see etched on will’s tombstone #Nov 7th is just an extension of him finding out and doing everything to get him back #nov 7th evening is a whole 24 hrs later #so yes not the same day #but it doesn’t make it any less incriminating #it’s not that Mike didn’t exist until he found el #it’s that it stopped that day #and then started again when he got hope will was alive #so many lines in mike’s monologue felt like lies mixed with a dose of truth #friends don’t lie co-founder and his loopholes 🙄 #I think it’s interesting also that we never really get Mike and Will talking about his time in the UD #the one time they do it’s brief and mostly about uncovering what’s happening to Will in that moment in s2 #but like we never see them talk outright about what happened or how the party all coped #so the prospects of him finding out how Mike truly felt back then… #in a scene where mike explains the ‘i feel like my life started-‘ line to Will #(and even more importantly the audience who has to buy into this) #that could be quite something…