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maplecornia · 2 months

Text

chapter five

word count :: 2.66K

pairing(s) :: taehyung x female!reader | mingi x female!oc | hyunjin x female!oc | jimin x female!oc | jungkook x female!oc

genre :: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | idol au

summary :: “some memories are too painful to bear"

Melody was once hospitalized in a room such as this.

Peeling wallpaper and drafty curtains, random assortments of things tossed about as though that would make it feel more like home. A picture frame there, a small couch here, blankets and pillows scattered on the floor, candles alight to try and chase away the rancid smell of disinfectant and sanitization.

Yes, all of it are things she is familiar with, things she wishes she wouldn't remember even after all this time.

"Your sister better get here soon, or she's going to miss out."

Melody swallows hard at her mother's voice, dropping the picture frame she was holding into the box laid open on her mother's bed. She chooses instead to busy herself with gathering up the carefully folded clothes decorating the bedsheet.

"Well, you know Yen, always late to everything." Melody mutters, intentionally avoiding Jocelynn's stern look her way.

"Melody..."

"What?"

"You know what."

Melody sighs, raising her eyes to her mother and falling defeated beneath her clear instruction. It takes her a moment, but she manages a forced smile, taking her mother's hand.

"Don't worry, Mom. I promise to keep the peace."

Jocelynn returns the smile, squeezing her daughter's hand a bit before she pulls away. Seeing her daughter's fight like this, seeing two once inseparable siblings' relationship strained like this, pains her in a way she doesn't know how to express. She knows that Melody feels betrayed, and she understands why Yen had to do what she had to do, but Jocelynn hates being put in the middle of the two. So for now, perhaps it is easier to ignore the situation entirely.

“I can’t wait to get out of here," She chuckles to herself. "I can’t believe it took this long to get discharged.”

Melody scoffs, rolling her eyes at her blatant ignorance.

"It's your own fault, you know."

"How so?" Jocelynn hums, prompting Melody to turn to her incredulously.

"Seriously?" Melody can't help but laugh at her mother's blank stare when she turns her eyes to hers. Jocelynn grows offended, tossing a stray sock at her daughter's head in retaliation when she doesn't give her a straight answer.

"Yes, seriously!"

Melody laughs, catching the sock midair.

"Oh come on, Mom." The next time Jocelynn throws a sock it catches Melody right in her face and she groans, pulling the sock off before tossing it aside. As she speaks, she tries to hide the smile growing on her face at the sound of Jocelynn's laughter, but Jocelynn spies it clear as day, and her heart grows warm with affection. "You were ready to be discharged a month after your attack, but you refused bed rest and opened your stitches. They wanted to keep you a few weeks after, but you just had to get restless and assist the hospital staff. A fall and two later you’ve slipped on wet tile and have rebroken your ribs and leg.”

Melody smirks as Jocelynn's former smile falls and she turns from her, busying herself with packing her box instead. Melody can tell she's growing embarrassed by the way she fidgets with the items she puts away and the way she avoids her eyes.

“Okay, I take it back, maybe I don’t want to be reminded.”

Melody can't help but chuckle, shaking her head.

“Honestly, I don’t blame them for keeping you an extra month to ensure you got your proper rest after all that.”

Perhaps Jocelynn says something next, perhaps she begins to laugh once more, perhaps she smiles her way, or perhaps she does none of those things and continues to stay silent, feigning ignorance towards the grave she has dug for herself. Melody wouldn't know, for her attention is now solely focused on a picture frame sitting on her mother's nightstand. She pauses, setting down the folded clothes for a moment before picking it up.

It is of the three of them, back when they had first moved to Korea, smiling up at the camera as they stood in front of the house they would soon live and make beautiful memories in. Jocelynn sits on the front steps, holding her daughters tightly to her sides, as she laughs. Melody couldn't be any older than four or five in the photo, her hair a mess as it falls from a carefully tied ponytail, her cheeks rosy as she giggles, leaning back in her mother's arms. Yen, only a year or so older, watches the two of them with soft, quiet eyes, her smile following that of the same nature.

Melody has seen this photo multiple times, and has passed by the table it used to sit on countless times before. On the way to school, when she had just arrived home, storming out of the house after a fight with her sister or her mother, on the way to meet with friends...It was one of many that used to decorate their house, a hobby her mother had picked up to immortalize their new memories, as though that would destroy all of the bad.

She has seen it so many times, she should know every detail, she should have memorized the looks on their faces, and be able to recognize every mark. But in all her years of gazing at this photo, she's never noticed the look in her sister's eyes. Though she's smiling, she seems almost...

Sad.

If you look close enough, you can see the gloss over her eyes as she begins to disassociate, her mind going somewhere else, somewhere dark. Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes, it seems strained, forced. As though she were only smiling for the sake of those beside her, as though she were trying to convince them, convince herself, that she was okay.

The thought sends bile, hot and bitter against Melody's throat. Swallowing hard, she tosses the frame into the box, tearing her eyes away from the past.

“How could she let this happen to you?”

The thought comes out as a whisper, words she had never meant to say. As her mother turns to her, the bile grows more prominent. So much so that she can now taste it clear on her tongue, her heart dropping to her gut in devastation as those familiar green eyes meet hers.

“Hm? What was that sweetheart?”

Melody clears her throat, blinking hard. She shakes her head, equally relieved and yet slightly disappointed that her mother did not hear her. She knows that it would have started a fight, a fight she does not wish to engage in at the moment, but in a way she wishes she could. That they would stop pretending these problems were not there, that they would quit ignoring the massive elephant in the room; that she could finally release all the pent-up frustration and betrayal that has been eating at her heart. No, instead, she chases all those feelings away, bottles them up for a little while longer before she turns to her mother with a smile.

"Nothing. It wasn't important."

As Melody returns to packing, Jocelynn watches her silently in concern.

Ever since they were young, they were close. They did everything together, and couldn't stand being separated from the other. Melody would rely on her sister for everything, to the point where Jocelynn would sometimes wonder if she was actually her mother. But she knew Melody relied on Yen for things she could never rely on her for. Things that she was too embarrassed to say in front of her mother, things she was afraid she would be judged for.

Likewise, Yen protected both Melody and Jocelynn as though her life depended on it. She would watch over Melody closely during school, on every outing, even when she got her first boyfriend. She would take care of her mother just as diligently. Keeping an eye out when she needed her, forcing her to rest when Jocelynn was being stubborn, and taking over household tasks whenever her mother needed her to do so.

Jocelynn knows that if she had to choose between herself, or her family's being, Yen would always choose her family. For the one time she didn't, the one time she chose to prioritize herself, she nearly lost the two people she cherished the most in the world.

The thought pains her heart as much as this tremulous fight does.

Jocelynn knows things cannot be fixed between her daughters so easily, but that doesn't mean she doesn't wish for things to return to the way they were. It doesn't mean that she can't hope for their reconciliation and forgiveness. Which she does, every day she sees the pain and turmoil in each of their eyes.

Watching Melody now, watching the way this is eating her up inside, she ponders whether or not she should say something. But she never gets the chance to find out, for as soon as she opens her mouth, she catches sight of Yen in the doorway.

"Yen."

At the sound of her sister's name, Melody goes still, turning to face her for the first time since she left. She watches with a blank stare as Yen smiles that dorkish, sheepish smile, fidgeting with the cuffs of her sleeves as she steps into the room. She notes how she can barely meet her eyes for two minutes, how every bone and tendon in her body tenses, preparing to run away at the nearest opportunity.

That's what she does best, isn't it?

Running away?

"Hi."

“Hello dear, we were just packing a few things.” Jocelynn smiles softly, opening her arms to welcome the hug that Yen readily gives her upon her arrival.

“I’m sorry I’m late, the session took longer than I anticipated.” As you release your mother, grimacing when she pinches your cheek, you glance towards Melody. She avoids your eyes, focusing on packing the box that sits in front of her. You wish she could look at you, see how happy you are to see her, that you wish you could wrap your arms around her, and envelop her in the hug you had been waiting to give her since she had first arrived.

“Oh that’s right, that was today! How did it go?”

You suppose that is selfish, however. To wish for something you do not deserve.

Turning from her, you smile at your mom, picking up a few empty boxes from their carefully assorted pile on the floor. “It was fine, it was more of an introduction than anything.”

When Melody scoffs, it brings silence to the room once more.

You freeze, your fingers tightening around the cardboard rim as you raise your eyes to her precariously. She's not looking at you, not really, but it is clear that the cynical laugh that erupts from her lips is directed towards you. And this time, when those fierce eyes meet yours, you don't dare look away.

“I’m sorry, no really, I am. It’s just, aren’t you the one who ‘didn’t need therapy’? Now you’re attending sessions?”

You can't help but smile to yourself at her sarcasm, complete even with the air quotes. And though your mother beside you sends Melody a severe warning look, it's hard for you to be mad at her.

At least you got your wish, albeit only partly.

“I was wrong. Turns out I need more help than I let on.” You mutter, turning from her to reach for a lamp on an opposite dresser. You miss the way the smile falls, you miss the way her eyes darken in her overwhelming bitterness.

“Well, I’m glad you’ve been given time to work on yourself, all things considered." Melody hisses between gritted teeth. You turn to her, but the pitiful look in your eyes does nothing to ease her anger, it only fuels it, turning it malicious. "I mean, I’m surprised you can even show your face in public given your situation.”

"Melody!"

Though Jocelynn may berate her, the dagger has already hit the mark as it was intended. Cutting deep and bloody into your back. A precious spot that will soon fester and grow until Melody has managed to inflict the same pain you inflicted on her the minute you turned away.

You choke back the scoff, and swallow the bile that rises in your throat at the mention of your scandal, barely managing to maintain your faltering smile as you raise your eyes to meet hers once more.

And there it is again.

The same look you had in the picture, the same look that you had that night she had begged you to stay. The same glossed eyes, the same false smile, the same mask you always wear to hide what's truly underneath.

Melody can't stand to see those eyes boring into hers any longer.

“You know what? I’m feeling a bit hungry, does anyone want anything?” Melody waits a beat to see if either of you will reply, but when she is met with silence she smirks, rolling her eyes and snatching her wallet off the desk beside her. “Lovely.”

Almost as soon as she steps out of the doorway, you are already defeated, plopping down on Jocelynn's bed, amidst a disarray of clothes and packing supplies. Jocelynn eyes you carefully, as she silently resumes her packing.

"Is it always going to be like this?" you murmur, wondering if the tightness in your chest belongs to that of guilt or melancholy. You sigh deeply, leaning on the box Jocelynn is working on. Shaking her head at your dramatics, she swats you away.

“Can you blame her?”

“Well, no.” Letting out another disgruntled groan, you flop on your back from your previously upright posture, causing the bed to shake and the boxes to jump a bit in its wake. You hold your arms over your eyes, as though that would erase every ounce of guilt, or at least hide you from your transgressions if only for a short while. “But that’s what makes it worse.”

Rolling her eyes, Jocelynn reaches for a book directly underneath your head and yanks it out from underneath you. You let out a yelp at the surprise, but pout when you see it was just your mother trying to grab your attention.

"It won't always be like this." She smiles down at you, taking a seat beside you and tucking your hair behind your ear affectionately. You give in to her touch, adjusting yourself so that your head is on her lap, and she is stroking your hair much like you were a child again who had just woken up from a nightmare. "She’s your sister, sweetheart, she’s going to forgive you. She just needs a little time.”

“I find that kind of hard to believe.” You can't help but mutter, unable to even meet your mother's eyes as she regards you in sympathy.

There have been many times in the past where you may have believed that to be true. Like the time you accidentally dropped Melody in the deep end when you were children or the time you forgot to walk home with her from school, but this time...

Not once has Melody ever let you down. She's always been there when you needed her, showed up when you asked her to, stayed by your side when there was no one else but her to do so. And yet, the one time she asks the same of you, the one time she begs you to stay, you leave her behind, not even daring to look back.

After years upon years of promising her you'd never leave, that's exactly what you did.

Is that level of selfishness so easily forgiven?

That is the same question Melody asks herself from where she had been listening at the door, barely managing to choke down the tears that begin to grow as she turns away from the room and the sister she once thought she knew.

CH.06 here

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