#The cool dude with his spaghetti | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beatcroc · 5 months

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you ever think about how gerome and fake pep are the only two guys who really only ever knew the tower as their home? i do

lots of fp text in this one so full un-ciphered script is going under cut below. [mostly just a bunch of headcanon nonsense about his whole Situation in the tower :p] [there is also a second bonus after because i am insufferable] anyway,

bonus:

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino] [gustavo] [gerome]<- u are here [noisette again]

gerome: i say there monstrosity! do you know the times? fp: …? gerome: haha! just an old joke, lad. gerome: but seriously, i never saw you around the tower much. what's your deal? fp: ... fp: 👈 ?? gerome: yes you! you never struck me as just some hired goon like the rest. fp: i… i don't really know. gerome: oh come now, you needn't be modest. fp: i'm not! i- [fp takes a seat] fp: they…. didn't tell me much. the…the lab. you know it? gerome: i'd pass though, now and again. fp: i was there for awhile, with lots of other copies gerome: oh, you knew the other clones? what were they like? fp: nutritious. gerome: ah. fp: they-the tall one- moved me to….「bruno's」 later. gerome: tall one… you mean pizzahead? fp: uh….right.「pizzahead」 …started changing it. kept changing it. i think i was waiting for something. waiting… to open? but he told me to keep-stay in there. to guard it. was there…longer than the labs but we never got to finish…. but i think we were close. But then「pep- pep: woah. never seen him this chatty gerome: just have to ask the right questions, i suppose pep: I mean, sure but-- wait, you can understand him??? gerome: it's only natural, after all, he is at least in part- part of the tower; made from its power and resources, and so connected with my brother...and to some extent, myself. his speech resonates with the old echoes through its chambers, and while i may not be as omniscient, it has no secrets that would fully elude me. pep: ...uh. ok, sure. what's he saying? fp: ..! fp: XXX! gerome: ah…. seems he's a bit embarrassed. pep: aw. er…look, it may not be my business, but whatever happened in the tower is behind us now, yeah? i know i sure try to forget it too fp: 😬 fp: ...😓👍 [fp turns back to gerome] fp: ............i wasn’t done gerome: he wasn't done. fp: yeah. then 「peppino」 came through. you probably know. hard to miss him. gerome: heh, I'll say. fp: We fought, I stayed…. didn't know anything else until 「pizzahead」grabbed me. fighting more on the roof... fp: You know the rest? you ran out with us... gerome: mhm fp: And… now we’re here. gerome: now we’re here… fp: ...that's all i had. so..... i still don't really know. sorry... gerome: ah, don't be. that's just how it goes, i guess. not much that can be done now... gerome: i suppose we both left some things behind in that tower. i certainly know it can be daunting to leave the fold of familiarity. gerome: but, for what it's worth...i think it’s for the better things worked out for us as they did. fp: yeah…

bonus! 2!!

#pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gerome #pillar john #pizzaposting #man. there was a lot of really specific shit i wanted to say in this one that i dont think i communicated very clearly at all #its fine though i dont think the ambiguity is necessarily a bad thing. he sure is feeling something and its on you to figure out what #i was picking up on a couple different reads as i went and i don't think any of them are really 'wrong' per se #but also there Is technically a 'correct' one which i will certainly ramble abt if someone asks <:3c #anyway i kinda scrapped that longer angsty comic with the bros so this is my main pillar bros propaganda post now i guess #begging and crying people to care abt & include them etc #now to be clear i dont think gerome has like. never been anywhere else or anything #i think he and john could p much travel freely before the whole pizzahead takeover #but after that happened john was confined to the tower and gerome just wound up staying in there all the time to help take care of him #so it's been a bit since gerome truly Ventured:tm:#fake pep on the other hand i straight up do not think had ever set foot outside the tower until postgame #so. yeah the tower was a pretty big and fundamental deal for these guys' sense of security.#and now that it's gone i think they should be friends about it #and also more generally i think gerome is a great confidant for fp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [!!!]#besides the whole 'can actually understand him' thing gerome is just a cool & chill lil dude to talk to #no shade to peppino ofc he's a decent enough role model and tries his best to understand despite the barriers. but like. yknow.#he is also very reactive. and intimidating. and bad at handling emotions.#and you knooooowwww he is not going to want to talk about tower shit specifically for a variety of reasons #i think gerome enjoys fp's perspective on tower stuff though.#rem and i were bouncing off eachother wrt the tower and cloning and all the natural john duplicates/bodies #fp is not the natural 'subject' for the tower's processes but he a product of its nature just as much as any john #so i am thinking. maybe gerome also considers fp family. i think that would be nice.#aahhhhh...something about bridges. something about liminality.#you can take the beast out of the tower but you can't take the tower out of the beast

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0cta9on · 4 months

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Beach Day

length: +3k words

Genre: smut

Nmixx Haewon x Male Reader

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day. Your teacher dismissed the class as the sound of shuffling bags and miscellaneous chatter filled the room.

“Yo, Minhyuk!”

You turn to your best friend, Junseo, who was sat next to you.

“Did you invite anyone to our beach party yet? Jaewon and I already got Lily and Yoona to tag along,” he asks. Your stomach dropped at the question.

“U-uh, no, sorry. I think I’ll just sit this one out, you guys go and have fun without me,” you say.

Junseo sighs, annoyed at your lame excuse. “Dude, quit being a bitch and ask Haewon already. The worst thing she’ll say is no.”

You and your friends had planned on going to the beach this weekend, and Jaewon suggested that all three of you would invite a girl to make things more “interesting”. It’s not that you didn’t have any girl to invite; it’s quite the opposite. You had your eyes dead set on one girl: Oh Haewon. You’ve had a crush on her since you first laid eyes on her and you would gladly sell your limbs if it meant getting to spend one second alone with her. There’s only one problem - She’s the most popular girl in school, and you were just… You.

“That’s the thing, Junseo. She’s obviously gonna say no,” you reason as you grab your things and exit the classroom, Junseo following closely behind you.

“Why do you think we invited Lily and Yoona? Those three are close, of course Haewon is gonna say yes.” Junseo suddenly grabs your shoulders, stopping you in your tracks. “Speak of the devil, they’re right there.” He points towards the end of the hallway where, lo and behold, Haewon, Lily, and Yoona were talking.

You gulp as your throat suddenly becomes dry. Even in a simple school uniform, she was the most beautiful girl you have ever seen. The overwhelming feeling of attraction towards her makes your heart race, which has the unfortunate side effect of turning you into a blubbering nervous wreck.

Junseo starts pushing you towards her. “C’mon dude, just go and ask her.” You try to stop him, but your legs are practically wet spaghetti noodles at this point. Before you know it, you find yourself right in front of the three girls, their eyes staring back at you.

“H-Hae… H-hhhhh… Hi…” you stutter breathlessly. Junseo smacks the back of your head, bringing you back to your senses.

“Hello ladies, my friend Minhyuk here has something to ask Haewon,” he says, patting your shoulder reassuringly.

You awkwardly clear your throat, staring at the ground as you’re too intimidated to look her in the eye. “U-uh, do you wanna… go to the beach with us tomorrow?” You brace yourself, expecting rejection.

“Yeah, sure, sounds like fun!” she says in a bright, cheery tone. You couldn’t believe your ears at first. Your lips curved onto a goofy smile as Junseo held you up from fainting, your legs reduced to jelly.

“Cool, we’ll see you girls tomorrow then,” Junseo says as he drags you away. Right as you round the corner, you see Haewon and the other two giggling amongst themselves.

______________________________________________________________

*Beep beep beep*

You groan as you shut off the alarm on your phone. 7:00 am. You had a couple hours before Jaewon would pick you up for your beach trip. The excitement from being able to spend alone time with Haewon made you restless, so you decided to put in a quick workout to make sure you looked your best for the beach. While you weren’t an athlete like Junseo and Jaewon were, they always forced you to go to the gym with them, resulting in you having a pretty solid physique that you hoped Haewon would notice.

Time flies by, and after a shower and getting your stuff ready, you hear a honk from outside, signaling Jaewon’s arrival. You head outside and see Junseo hanging his head out of the passenger side window.

“Yo Minhyuk! Hurry up and get your ass in the car!” he yells, a mischievous smirk adorned on his face. You give him a weird look before opening the door to the back, only to be faced with Lily and Yoona.

“Hey, Minhyuk.”

“Hiiiii.”

You give them an awkward nod, feeling a little confused. You assumed the girls would be going in a different car and the three of you would meet them at the beach.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, I went ahead and picked up the girls since they live close,” Jaewon says, looking at you through the rear view mirror with a smirk on his face. Jaewon was the most soft spoken out of the three of you, but he always had some kind of trick up his sleeve. You scoot next to Lily, oblivious to whatever he was planning.

“Alright, we just gotta pick up Haewon and then we’ll be good to go. The back is only meant to seat three, but I’m sure you guys don’t mind squeezing her in there, right?” Jaewon says, his smirk growing into a full on toothy smile. Your eyes go wide with shock as the realization hits you - he was planning on smushing you in the back with Haewon. While you weren’t completely opposed to the idea, you can only imagine how much of an awkward mess you’re going to be with her practically breathing down your neck. After a short drive, Jaewon stops in front of what you assume is Haewon’s house.

“I’ll tell her that we’re here,” Lily says, typing on her phone. You gulp, suddenly feeling very anxious. The girl of your dreams was about to be squished next to you and you were almost 100% sure that you would find a way to fumble this. While lost in thought, the car door opens, revealing a smiling Haewon wearing baggy sweatpants and a white, tight fitting tank top that accentuated her breasts.

“Hey guys!” she greets. Lily and Yoona greet her back, while all you can muster is an awkward hand wave.

“Yo Haewon, are you alright with squeezing in the back next to Minhyuk?” Junseo asks, a sly twinkle in his eyes. Your only wish right now is to strangle his neck with the seatbelt.

“Yeah, that should be fine,” Haewon replies as she scoots next to you. You give Lily and Yoona an apologetic look as you push them to make room for Haewon. Miraculously, the four of you are able to successfully pack together like a can of sardines. The soft skin of Haewon’s arm brushes against you, causing your cock to spring to life from the sudden contact. You mentally facepalm as you try to focus on something else, hoping none of the girls notice your bulge.

“Yoona, you can come sit on my lap if it’s too cramped back there,” Junseo says.

“In your dreams, pervert,” Yoona says, grimacing. The rest of the car erupts into laughter while Junseo sulks in his seat.

______________________________________________________________

Junseo and the girls fell asleep on the drive to the beach, while you were way too excited to even think about sleep.

“Wake up y’all. We’re here,” Jaewon says, shaking Junseo awake. All of you step out of the car, taking in the warm sun and the salty scent of the ocean. You, Jaewon, and Junseo grab your stuff from the trunk while the girls excitedly run towards the sea, kicking up sand behind them.

“Yo Minhyuk, did you have fun back there?” Jaewon teases. You punch his arm in rage while he chuckles at you.

“I fucking hate you, man.”

Junseo wraps his arm around your shoulder. “Chill out dude, we’re just trying to help you out. Remember, you would have bailed on us if I didn’t shove you towards Haewon.” He slaps your back before heading in the direction of the girls.

“He’s right. You're basically a mess without us,” Jaewon says, snickering to himself. A feeling of determination suddenly fills you up. You were dead set on having a good time with Haewon and, if things went well, you would confess your feelings to her by the end of the night. With a huff, you march through the sand, following behind your friends.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been to the beach,” Haewon remarks. “Thanks for inviting me, Minhyuk.” She turns to you, flashing a bright smile.

At that moment, all your confidence immediately leaves your body. “Y-yeah, n-no problem, hehe…” you stutter awkwardly. To make things worse, you catch Haewon covering her mouth in an attempt to hide her laughter.

Jaewon places a large picnic blanket on the sand while you set up the umbrella. Junseo sets down a bag of snacks and a cooler full of drinks, completing the preparations.

“Thank you boyssss,” Yoona says. “Alright, let’s hurry up and get in the water!”

The three of you can’t help but stare in awe as the girls start stripping, revealing their bikini clad bodies underneath. While Lily and Yoona had nice bodies, all of your focus was on Haewon. Her bright yellow bikini top revealed a generous amount of cleavage, while her matching bottoms left practically nothing to the imagination. You felt yourself drool as you imagined getting to explore her smooth curves with your hands.

“Hey perverts, are you gonna join us or not?” Yoona yells, snapping the three of you back to your senses. Jaewon and Junseo quickly discard their shirts before running into the ocean, joining Lily and Yoona. You start to do the same before noticing Haewon, who was sitting underneath the shade of the umbrella.

“Aren’t you gonna go in the water?” you ask her.

“I want to, but I completely forgot my sunscreen at home like an idiot,’ she says, sighing disappointedly. “I’d rather not risk getting sunburnt, y’know?”

You rummage through your bag and pull out a small bottle of sunscreen. “Here, you can use some of mine.”

She flashes you a bright smile as she takes the bottle from your hand. “Thank you, Minhyuk! You’re a lifesaver!”

“”Y-yeah, no problem.” Your cock begins to stir in your swimming trunks as you watch her rub the white cream into her smooth skin, your mind filling with sinful thoughts. Then, the unthinkable happens.

“Hey Minhyuk, do you think you could put some sunscreen on my back?” Words you’ve only ever heard in the beginnings of cheap porn films have now come out of Haewon’s mouth. You try to keep a calm expression as she hands you the bottle of sunscreen.

“Y-y-yeah, I c-can do that,” you stutter, trying and failing to maintain your composure. Thankfully, Haewon doesn’t notice as she lies on her stomach, giving you the perfect chance to ogle her cute ass, barely covered by her bikini bottoms. With trembling hands, you squirt some sunscreen on your fingers and begin gently massaging into her back.

“Mmmmm, you have such strong hands,” she says, moaning from your touch. You felt your heart pound in your chest with excitement as your hands caressed her lower back. Her skin was as smooth as you had imagined, your fingers easily gliding over her curves. This intimate situation felt like a dream come true that you never wanted to wake up from.

“Oh Minhyuk, that feels so good.” You felt your ears burn bright red as your cock stood at full attention. Everything else faded away as you focused on giving Haewon the best massage you could muster. The sunscreen acted as lube as you gently pushed your digits into her back, eliciting more moans. It became a game to you as you figured out which spots she liked most. Your breathing became heavy with arousal as the chorus of Haewon’s moans filled your ears.

Suddenly, Haewon sits up and grabs your wrists, glaring at you. You gulp, worried that you may have taken things too far. Without a word, she pulls you up and drags you away from the picnic blanket.

“U-uh, Haewon? Where are we going?”

She ignores you as she drags you behind a large boulder, away from everyone else. Her demeanor suddenly turns timid as a pink blush appears on her cheeks and her shaky eyes are unable to meet yours.

“Haewon? What’s wrong?” you ask, becoming increasingly bewildered by her behavior. Despite the circumstances, you couldn’t help but find her cute as she nervously twiddled with her fingers, her impressive cleavage on full display.

“U-um, I’m sorry if this is weird, but that massage got me all h-hot and…” Her words trailed off as the pink on her cheeks evolved into tomato red. You couldn’t believe her words at first. Did Haewon want you to…? Without hesitation, you pulled her closer and smashed your lips against hers. Your gamble pays off as she wraps her arms around your neck, moaning into your mouth. With newfound confidence, your hands explore more of her body, tracing her every curve. Your right hand cups her plump ass cheek while your other hand gently squeezes her breast, giving you the perfect chance to shove your tongue inside of her mouth as she opens it to moan. The sweet taste of strawberry lip gloss covers your taste buds as your tongues squirm in an erotic dance.

You eventually break the kiss as the need for oxygen manages to trump your carnal desires. Haewon stares deep into your eyes as she catches her breath, her hand snaking down your torso before stopping on your erect bulge. A low groan escapes your lips from the contact, sending a wave of pleasure through your body.

“C-can I touch your cock?” she asks, her voice trembling. You always saw Haewon as an outgoing bundle of energy, so seeing her this timid and horny made you go feral. With a nod, you lower your swimming trunks, revealing your rock hard cock to her in all its glory. Haewon gasps as she kneels in front of you, inspecting your full length with wide eyes. The sight of her innocent face next to your cock would be forever etched into your mind.

“Oh my god, you’re so big, Minhyuk,” she whispers in awe, gently wrapping her fingers around your member. Her hands felt like Heaven against your cock as they clumsily stroked it. “U-um, I’ve never done this before. Can you help me?”

“Y-yeah, sure. Uh, why don’t you try kissing it first?” you suggest. Haewon obediently complies as she places gentle kisses on your shaft, staining it with her lip gloss. Each kiss sends a shockwave of dopamine throughout your entire body.

“Is that okay?” Haewon’s large eyes look up at you, searching for approval.

A smile grows on your face as you pat her head. “Yes, that’s great, Haewon. You should try sucking it now.”

Haewon giggles excitedly before taking the tip of your cock into her mouth, running her tongue against your slit. A moan escapes your mouth as your hands instinctively reach for the back of her head, encouraging her to take in more of you. You would’ve never guessed that she was inexperienced with how easily your cock slides down her throat. The sensation was unlike anything you had ever felt before - pure ecstasy.

“F-fuck, Haewon. You’re so g-good, holy shit..”

Lust takes control of your body, your fingers interlocking with her hair as you roughly fuck her face. Haewon’s eyes well up with tears, but she makes no move to pull away, happily accepting your whole length. Saliva dripped from her mouth, the dirty image only fueling your arousal. Without warning, you shot your load down Haewon’s throat, the heavenly feeling of her mouth becoming too much for you to handle. After what feels like an eternity of cumming, you release her from your grasp. Haewon collapses backwards onto the sand, drool and cum staining her perfect face.

“S-Shit, are you okay?!” you ask, worried you may have been too rough on her.

Haewon props herself up and smiles at you. “Th-that was… i-incredible…” she stammered, catching her breath. “C-can you put it inside me? P-please?”

Her words reinvigorate you causing your cock to become hard once again. You quickly pull Haewon to her feet and untie her top, tossing it aside to reveal her ample breasts. Your mouth latches onto her tits while you shove your free hand inside of her bottoms, rubbing her moist slit.

“Oh fuck! That feels so good, Minhyuk…” Haewon whimpers as she plays with your hair. Any ounce of common sense left in your mind was thrown out the window as your only goal right now was to pleasure the girl of your dreams in every way possible. Your heart chugged like the engine of a steam train as you worshiped Haewon’s body with every flick of your tongue and every swipe of your finger against her heat. Eventually, you detach your mouth from her breasts, staring into her eyes while you finger her pussy.

You lean into her ear and whisper, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long. I-I like you, Haewon.” You curl your fingers inside of her, coercing a high-pitched moan out of her as her body is reduced to putty in your hands.

“I-I l-like you too, Min- Ah, fuck! P-please fuck me!” she exclaims. Haewon holds onto your shoulders for balance, nibbling on your neck to muffle her erotic noises. Her confession only increased your skyhigh libido, ripping her bottoms away and lining up your cock with her dripping pussy. Slowly, you thrust forward, impaling her with your erection.

“H-holy shit…” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.

“A-are you okay, Haewon?” you asked, pausing your motions to check up on her.

“Y-yes, k-keep going please. Fuck, y-you’re so big…” Haewon looked up at you with pleading eyes. You could’ve sworn her irises turned into hearts for a second.

You continue thrusting forward, catching her lips in a kiss that was much gentler than the one before, eventually bottoming out inside of her. Gripping her supple thighs, you mentally thank Jaewon and Junseo for dragging you to the gym as you lift Haewon’s body with ease. You increase your pace, each thrust punctuated by Haewon’s cute whimpers and the occasional “fuck”, “ah”, and “yes”. Her ample breasts bounced in front of your eyes as Haewon threw her head back with pleasure. You still couldn’t believe that you were fucking your crush on the beach.

The pressure built up inside of you as you savored the feeling of her warm, tight cunt around your penis. You did your best to hold on for as long as possible, but the sensation was becoming overwhelming. “H-Haewon… I-I’m gonna… c-cum…” you groaned.

“F-fuck… C-cum in me, M-Minhyuk… I-I wanna feel you fill me up…” The vulgar words coming out of her mouth were enough to send you over the edge as you shot your second load deep inside of her womb. Haewon continued to bounce on your cock, her own orgasm taking over. Your legs eventually give out as both of your naked bodies collapse onto the sand, your cock never leaving the warmth of her pussy. Haewon laid on top of you, planting kisses on your neck and chin as you caught your breath.

“That… was fucking amazing, Minhyuk,” she giggled, tracing random patterns on your chest with her index finger. You wrapped your arms around her, the warm rays of sunshine beating down on the two of you.

Eventually, the two of you get up and put on your discarded bathing suits. “We should do this again sometime,” you quipped. Haewon laughs and grabs your face, planting a gentle peck on your lips.

“I would like that a lot.” Hand in hand, you return to your friend group, ready to enjoy the rest of your day at the beach with your new girlfriend.

#nmixx #oh haewon #nmixx haewon #kpop fanfic #kpop gg #nmixx x male reader #nmixx x male oc #nmixx haewon x male reader #nmixx haewon x male oc #smut #haewon smut #nmixx haewon smut

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katsus-world · 11 months

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Getting back together sex w Katsuki Bakugou! Minors DNI!!

No quirk UA!! Smut 😛

Right person wrong time, no doubt about it.

When y’all break up he’s sad ofc, he longs for you and your touch. Knowing that you’ll be his first everything.

The woman who melted his cold heart, who showed him he could be loved. The person that took his first kiss, his first relationship, and his virginity.

After the break up, Kaminari and Hanta take him out of his messy apartment. Making him get ready with the help of kirishima who constantly stood and checked up on him.

When they hang out, the first place they stop at is a club.

To sum everything up, he drinks his feelings. Then he finds someone to hook up with.

He knows that this was obviously not the way to handle his emotions but he’s doesn’t care at the moment.

His hips repeatedly slap against the girl, her moans echoing off of the walls as she tried to match his pace, her stomach tightening with each of his thrust.

Bakugou frustratingly grunts as he tries his best to make himself finish. But he knew that he wasn’t going to cum that night.

He knew that fucking random girls at a club wasn’t the right way to cope but fuck it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bakugou never thought he would do this y’all, acting like an actual dude in his 20’s like going out and partying and fucking bitches.

He doesn’t like to have one night stands, he’s more of a relationship guy but rn he’s not in the right mind. 🫠

Two months goes by and he’s caught like 4 bodies 😭, but his whole world stops when he sees you one night.

You’re in a black simple spaghetti strap dress, high heels that had to be tied up to your knees and your nails and make up were done.

Your pretty legs crossed as you sta on the couch, drink in hand.

You js looked so fucking pretty and his heart ached as he saw some frat mf sitting next to you. Talking to you with his arm around your shoulder. As he tries to rizz you up.

Failing miserably as you yawn at his stupid joke, the frat dude makes some stupid excuse and walks away angrily.

You were never easy, bakugou knew that. So he feels disgusted with himself bc of his actions, bc of his one night stands.

He makes his way over to you, gulping thickly as you both lock eyes, sweat forming on his forehead as he spoke.

“Hey..”

“Hi..”

Very awkward to say the least, but you let him sit down next to you, trying to talk past the awkward tension that filled the space between y’all.

Eventually, y’all are cool, just talking away to each other like before, both of you longing the other.

He takes you home that night to his place, and ofc one thing leads to another and…

Your legs are thrown over his shoulder, moans bouncing off of Katsuki’s bedroom walls as his hips snap into you. The sound of his balls picking up a rhythm, slapping ruthlessly against your cunt. Eyes rolling to the back of your head with each thrust. The tip of his fat cock kissing your cervix softly, just enough to give you pleasurable pain.

“Missed you so much!” Your voice is horse, tears prickling out the corner of your eyes as you pull on his hair.

Katsuki’s face is flustered with a deep red, his own eyes with tears of just how good you felt. No one could compare to you. No one will ever compare to you, and the way your pussy clamps down on him, milking him with every thrust and movement from his hips.

“Missed you so much more, princess. Fucking love you.” Katsuki was drunk off of you, kissing down your neck. Finding that special place on your throat as his lips clamped down on it. Sucking and biting softly, licking the hickey once it’s made.

His words made your heart flutter, your lower stomach tightening at his words. You move your hips, trying to get him to finish, pulling his hair to look at you then roughly placing your lips on his. You and Katsuki were always like pieces of a puzzle, fitting like one. Completing the other and this was no different.

His grunts hit your ears, hips meeting yours with more force, titties bouncing as his hand roughing palms one, twisting your nipple before giving a few sucks, then going back to your lips.

“Gonna cum, suki!” You squeal out, pulling away as your lungs begged for oxygen. Burying his face into your shoulder as he feelings you come undone. Grunts and small moans slipping from his mouth as he blows his load in you, not being able to pull out in time.

After that, y’all got back together 😛

¯\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)_/¯ ¯\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)_/¯ ¯\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)_/¯ ¯\_( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛)_/¯

This was probably butt but I’m trying to get back into writing smut!! I’m sorry if there are any misspellings! 😞💔

#liz writes #liz fucking talks #katsuki bakugou #mha imagines #my hero academia #bakugou headcanons #bnha fanfiction #bakugou x y/n #katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha fluff #bakugou fluff #mha fanfic #mha #mha boys #bnha bakugou #bnha smut

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basu-shokikita · 2 months

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Dethentines 2024 Day 7

Will you be my Valentine?

Picture me arriving to the finish line wheezing and dying, 'cause that's me right now. I don't know why I thought that finishing the entries on the very same day of posting was a good idea but that's what ended up happening. Never again, hopefully.

Either way, here's my last entry for Dethentines, aka the one that matters the most because it's for Valentine's Day so I made an extra effort and you get a whooping +2k words for today. It's Skwistok, obviously, but the rest of Dethklok get a pretty decent amount of participation because I wanted to go out with a bang. Or try to.

Also, I'm linking to this song for no reason.

Thank you so much for organizing Dethentines this year! I had lots of fun and I'm happy to have managed to participate in all days ✨ See you around~

“And then we does the things like-” Skwisgaar made a high pitched noise. “Like-” He made an explosion sound. “You gets?”

“Right, like-” Nathan made a deep growling noise. “And then-” A boing-like noise followed. “And then some more…”

“Ja!” Skwisgaar nodded enthusiastically. It was really easy to talk about music with Nathan, it’s like they read each other’s minds somehow. “We has to…”

Suddenly, Toki walked into the living room. He stopped right when he saw the two of them. Skwisgaar raised a hand to wave at him, a reluctant smile on his face. However, Toki only frowned in response and left.

“Uh-oh.” Nathan watched Toki’s silhouette slowly get smaller. “What did you do?”

“Eugh…” Skwisgaar let his arm drop on the couch. “He ams mads abouts Vals and Tines days.”

“Valentine’s Day?” Nathan repeated in confusion.

“Ja, he askeds if I wanteds to spends wif hims. Goes ons a dates togethors…dats stuff…”

Nathan waited a moment and, when Skwisgaar didn’t continue, he asked. “And what did you say?”

Skwisgaar winced a little. “I says it was fuckings stupids and jackoffs things whats we donts needs.”

“Woah!” Nathan sat back in shock. “Woah, Skwisgaar!”

“Whats? We ams alreadies togethers sorts of, okeys?” Skwisgaar shrugged. “And Valentines ams dildos” He mumbled. “ I don’ts gets it.”

“Yeah, but Toki likes that shit, remember? He’s, uh…” Nathan struggled to find a word that wouldn’t be offensive. “...Different.”

“Pfft.” Skwisgaar snorted. “Differents ams rights.”

“Besides…” Nathan’s eyes wandered to the living room. “I don’t think it’s that weird to want to do all romantic shit when you’re in love. Love might not be cool at all, but it is pretty brutal.”

Skwisgaar pouted, unable to refute Nathan on that. Discovering his feelings for Toki had been a pretty brutal experience. “I guess you ams rights.”

“You gotta apologize to him, dude.”

“Eugh.” Skwisgaar looked up to the ceiling, unable to find reasons against.

–

They were having lunch and Toki was too busy finishing up his mountain of spaghetti to notice Skwisgaar had been staring at him for the past 5 minutes. It was late and there was nobody else in the kitchen but them. Well, besides the Klokateers.

Skwisgaar decided to make an attempt. “Toki?” He called him hesitantly.

Toki kept eating as if nothing had happened, slurping loudly and spreading cheese on the pasta like his life depended on it. Frankly, Skwisgaar wasn’t sure Toki had heard him or not.

“Toki?” He called him a second time.

Still nothing, Toki was gulping from his glass of water. “Mores, please!” He said, after slamming the glass on the table.

“Sire!” One Klokateer immediately appeared with a pitcher of water and filled Toki’s glass to the brim.

“Thank yous.” Toki said before he resumed eating.

“Tok-” Skwisgaar decided to cut the bullshit and sat on the seat next to Toki. There was a subtle acknowledgement, as Toki glanced to his side before returning his attention to his food. “Toki, listens.” Skwisgaar said, gently placing his hand on Toki’s arm.

Toki kept eating, completely unbothered.

Truth to be told, Skwisgaar wasn’t used to being this ignored, especially not by Toki, so he felt the discouragement in his gut. He cleared his throat. “Ams sorries about de other deis, okeis? I didn’ts…realize how imporkstants it ams was to yous, soes…”

“Dat was goods.” Toki said and Skwisgaar raised his eyes with expectation, but Toki was staring at his now empty dish and rubbing his belly.

He sighed. “Tokis, please, we can does what you wants. I won’ts complains, justs-”

Abruptly, Toki stood up and walked away without looking back. Skwisgaar buried his face in his hands in frustration.

He really fucked things up this time.

“Ye gotta mehk it up to him, dood.” Pickles suddenly spoke behind him and Skwisgaar almost did a somersault from shock.

“Eugh! Pickle!” He glanced at him, horrified. “Whens dids you get heres?”

Pickles grimaced like he was offended. “Dood, I’ve been here de whole time.”

“Huh…” Skwisgaar could not remember for the life of him seeing him here but , oh well. “Waits, what does you means makes it ups to him?” He squinted. “Whats does you knows?”

Pickles snorted, gesturing dismissively with one hand. “Nethan already told me ‘bout it. You broke Toki’s heart, didn’t ye?”

“Wells…” Skwisgaar winced. “I wouldn’ts…puts it like dats…”

“An apology just wahn’t do.” Pickles leaned into Skwisgaar’s ear. “Ye gotta surprise him yourself.”

“What?” Skwisgaar turned to him in horror. “You means…?”

Smirking, Pickles nodded slowly at him.

–

Skwisgaar looked at the door with preemptive regret. He was one second away from leaving and forgetting the whole thing. This was his dignity on the line now, nothing to joke about.

Toki’s face flashed in his mind and Skwisgaar closed his eyes in defeat. His breath hitched and his heart raced as he knocked on the door thrice.

It only took a few seconds for it to open, and behind it, a confused Murderface appeared. “Schkwisgaar? What do you want?”

“Is never thots I woulds says dis, Moidaface.” Skwisgaar was already short of breath. “But I needs yous helps.”

Murderface crossed his arms with a scowl. “Thisch better not be a prank.”

“I don’t has time for pranks.” Skwisgaar said as he made his way into Murderface’s room.

“Hey!”

Uncaring, he slammed the door behind him and Murderface gave him a stunned stare. “I needs yous helps now.”

Murderface looked him up and down, like he wasn’t sure what to make of Skwisgaar’s words. “Thisch ischn’t a gay thing, right?”

“Whats?” Skwisgaar was appalled. “N-well, it ams kinds of gays, actuallies.” He sighed. “You ams goods friends with Tokes, rights?”

“I guesch.” Murderface shrugged noncommittally which honestly irritated Skwisgaar but he decided to let it go.

“Does he, eugh…Does he talkeds about Valskentines with yous?”

“Oh,” Murderface rolled his eyes and turned around. “All the fucking time! Me and Schkwisgaar are going to do thisch! Me and Schkwisgaar are going do that! It’sch my firscht Valentinesch ever, Murderface! I’m scho exschited!” He made a disgusted noise. “Made me schick, really.”

The guilt piled up on the pit of Skwisgaar’s stomach. “Does you…remembers any specificks?”

“Uhh, he schaid it would be the firscht date ever for you guysch so he wanted to do everything…” He rested his back against his deck. “Firscht, have breakfascht in bed. Then, go to the petting szchoo to pet the catch. After that, walk in the park while holding handsch and eating…” He shuddered. “Hot dogsch. Then, planetarium vischit to look at the starchs. Then, go to the theater to watch a movie…and then dinner at a fanschy restaurant. He did schpare me the detailsch for the night after that, thank Chrischt.”

“Eugh…” Skwisgaar was impressed. “You shores remembers de hole thingks.”

“Well, he wouldn’t schut up about it!” Murderface defensively and opened the first drawer of his desk. “Look, he even made drawingsch of it!” At once, Murderface spread a bunch of drawings over the top of the desk.

One of the drawings had them petting cats, in another they were walking in the park with the hot dogs, looking at the stars, at a fancy restaurant…there were even some drawings of things Murderface hadn’t described, probably things Toki couldn’t fit into their schedule.

“Why does you has dese?” He asked.

Murderface blinked a couple of times before looking away. “We like drawing together, okay? And he alwaysch leavesch hisch drawingsch here. Idiot.”

“Rights.” Skwisgaar stood up. “I thinks I gots all I needs now, so I’m goingks-”

“Wait, what do I get in exchange?”

“Eugh…Toki’s unconskditionals loves?”

Murderface buffed. “Big deal.” Skwisgaar was walking to the other when he spoke again. “I know it’sch not any of my buschiness but…” Skwisgaar turned to look at him. “He kind of, really likesch you, scho…yeah.”

Unbelievable, even Murderface was lecturing him now. Skwisgaar couldn’t imagine sinking lower. “Rights. Thanks, Moidaface.”

“Whatever.”

Skwisgaar closed the door, a new determination finding its way inside him.

–

“Whats ams dis?” Toki asked, upon finding a letter next to his plate during breakfast. It was a bronze envelope with a blood red seal.

“Hm?” Pickles was stuffing oatmeal down his throat. “No idea, dood.”

Toki was skeptical, looking at Nathan and Murderface eat in silence. “Where ams Skwisgaar?”

Nathan, currently attacking a beef steak, replied. “Uhh, probably sleeping? Who knows. It’s Skwisgaar.”

Still not quite convinced, Toki ripped open the envelope and found a letter inside except there was nothing written in it. Just a red guitar vaguely shaped like a heart. “Alrights, who ams doings this? It amsnt funnies.” He asked with irritation. He wasn’t in the mood to get pranked on Valentine’s Day.

“It’sch probably schomething to do with playing the guitar.” Murderface blurted and the other two glared at him. “Or schomething.” He added to save face.

Toki squinted at his friends. “You guys amsnt collsudings togeders, ams you?”

“No.” All three of them said at the same time, which only made it more suspicious.

“We’re just eatin’ our breakfast here.” Pickles said.

“Yeah, why would we care about anything that ischn’t our breakfascht?”

“It’s not like today is a special day or anything.”

Toki got up from the table, unamused. He wasn’t going to bother with this, he would just get to the root of the problem and cut it off. Simple as that.

“Skwisgaar.” He knocked on his door. “Ams not in de moods for dis okays? Soes just-” The door opened with a creak, revealing an empty bedroom. Toki looked inside, intrigued and found lit red candles melting on the floor. Upon closer inspection, he realized they were skull shaped.

On the bed, there was a guitar made of red rose petals and a pile of Deaddy Bears in different brutal outfits laid in place of the pillows. The TV was showing ‘Love and Guts 4’ Toki’s favorite horror movie and, under it, there was a box of sugar-free chocolates with a note on them.

Meets me wheres we first kiss

Toki’s eyes widened upon reading. Did he mean….?

–

He couldn’t help it, he was supposed to be mad but he couldn’t help running towards the location, excitement drumming inside his chest. What was he expecting? What was going to happen? What had Skwisgaar planned?

When he reached the double-door, he found it only marginally open so he grabbed the knob to reveal the inside.

Skwisgaar was sitting on a stool inside Murderface’s closet, guitar in his hand. He seemed to have been caught off guard because he made a surprised noise when he saw Toki.

Toki tried to catch his breath. “Skwisga-”

Abruptly, Skwisgaar started playing the guitar. First the E, then the G sharp minor, then the C sharp minor, then the A. Then he played the whole sequence again.

“Does you wanna be mines girls-boyfriends…” He sang unsurely. “We’lls walks to the cemeteries and alls kiss you agains…And makes ours dead friends blushks…We ams getting marrieds right dere on de seens…” He inhaled shakily. “Does you wants to be mines best friends? Yous can drives me crazies alls over agains…And alls bores you death oooh, doesn’ts matters when we ams in love. Rights?” He smiled at a speechless Toki.

Then the guitar got heavier, but Skwisgaar’s eyes were still on Toki. “Does you wanna be mines boyfriends?” He continued. "Does you wanna be mine boyfriends? Does you wanna be mines- Does you wanna be mines?” He stood up and kept playing, now closing the distance between them as he finished up the song. When it ended, he had essentially backed Toki against the wall.

Skwisgaar’s expression softened, the confidence from playing was fading into reluctance. “Ams sorries about everythings, Toki. I didn’ts realize how impskortants dis was to yous. Lets me makes it up to yous. Is calleds reservations fors a restaurants and bookeds de movies and plansetariums, ands the pettings zoo has spots fors us and-” Impulsively, Toki locked their lips together and Skwisgaar lost the trail of his thoughts.

“It ams okay, Skwisgaar.” He said when he pulled away. “I just thoughts you didnts…” He shook his head, smiling. “Doesn’ts matters.” Giggling, he laced their fingers together. “Soes, boysfriend?”

Skwisgaar felt his face heat up from embarrassment. “Dats- Dats what de songs-” He stopped babbling and his face turned solemn instead. “Eugh, ja.” With a heavy swallow, he asked. “Does you wants to be mines boysfriends, Toki?”

Toki’s smile was like a thousand beams directed at once at Skwisgaar. “Ja, I wants to bes your boyfriend, Skwisgaar.”

Smiling back, Skwisgaar brought Toki closer to him. “Cans I kiss mines boyfriends now?”

“You cans.” Toki said, the happiness leaking from his face.

As they wrapped around each other, Skwisgaar felt only slightly bad for the mess they were about to do in Murderface’s closet.

But only slightly.

–

“Well, it sure sounds like they’re havin’ fun.” Pickles commented, ear to the closet door.

“Now who’sch gonna clean after them!” Murderface complained. “My closchet isch gonna be dischguschting!”

“Murderface, you don’t even clean your own room.” Nathan countered, already looking tired.

“Yeah, well, neither do you!”

“Yeah, ‘cause we’re fucking rich. Just call a Klokateer to get it done.”

“I guesch!”

The closet door banged so loudly that all three of them jolted.

“Okei!” Pickles clasped his hands together. “Who wants t' get wasted to feel less miserable on Valentine’s Day!”

“Me!” Nathan and Murderface replied in unison.

“Let’s leave the lovebirds, then.” Pickles made an example as he walked away from the closet and the two soon followed him.

“Fuck Valentine’sch Day!” Murderface said.

“Yeah, it’s capitalism brutality, and not the kind that benefits us.” Nathan agreed.

“It’s stoopid as hell, like whoa! I’m in love! Big deal!” Pickles threw his hands into the air.

“Yeah.”

“Totally.”

They smiled at each other. Seriously, fuck Valentine’s Day.

#dethentines #dethentines2024 #metalocalypse #skwistok #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #pickles the drummer #william murderface #nathan explosion #valentines day #my writing #no beta we die like men etc

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pizzatowerconfessions · 1 month

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Since the confessions here have been kinda downers as of late I'm gonna confess something uplifting:

I love, love, love LOVE the "fake Peppino becomes real Peppino's brother and he's the best eldrich frog brother ever" headcanon. I mean, I've always loved it - it's such a sweet idea but since the reveal of Peppino's brother Maurice I have a whole new love for it because Maurice is... an absolute asshole. He does not vibe with me, I don't care if you headcanon him to be "nicer on the inside", "yes he's mean but he'll still protect his brother" or whatever. The relationship that Maurice has with his brother is not healthy, and I feel like his constant bullying really messed up Peppino both mentally and physically.

Not me overanalyzing the funny pizza game haha wheee

I like the diverse interpretations of fake Peppino in general. As far as I know, there is minimal official lore and we don't see much of his personality outside of what we see in the games so sky's the limit with interpretations. He can be a monstrous velociraptor horror, innocent frog creature, or funny slime man it's all cool and valid to me. However you interpret him I will always love him being Peppino's sweet and supportive brother because I like to think he would fill the gap in Peppino's heart that always wanted a sibling that didn't make him feel like an utter failure every minute of his life.

Not me overanalyzing the funny pizza game part 2 electric boogaloo

Fake Peppino should yeet Maurice into the depths of hell lol

Additionally, anyone who makes fan-made Spaghetti family members who love and support Peppino... I love you so much (platonically). Give Peppino the familial love and support he needs, this dude deserves all the best <3

#pizza tower #pizza tower peppino #pizza tower fake peppino #pizza tower maurice

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midnightmoonkiss · 2 years

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Forever upsetti spaghetti that Lumine isn’t apart of 4NEMO / 5WIRL.

Anyway imagine being Aether’s little sibling and all the other guys in 5WIRL (a VERY popular band) are completely obsessed with your oblivious self.

All head over heels in love with their friend and band mate’s innocent little sibling.

Of course Aether knows, he’s painfully aware and has told his friends multiple times that if they try anything he can and will beat the shit out of them.

He’s very protective of you, what can he say?

Kazuha gonna be one of ~those guys~ who tells you all the time that “All men are wolves..!” but that he’s different when questioned about himself. He then goes and gives you a bouquet of wild-flowers he picked while on a walk in the park. Type of dude to get on one knee and kiss your knuckles just to make you feel like royalty and blush. Number one café enthusiast, take him with you pls he needs a coffee always.

Xiao is like Aether, protective. It’s fun going out shopping with him, he’ll indulge your antics and follow you to every store (though he lingers in Hot Topic and Spenser’s). If some man tries to flirt with you, yeah.. uh.. he needs to keep his image so nothing physical, but MAN he has a mean tongue and the scariest glare as he drags you away. Good excuse to hold your hand anyway.

Heizou is new to the group, everyones known eachother for years and they’ve only known him for three months. He has a great track record, though! Practically the heart of any party. He fell for you the second he saw you, and now he’s like a little puppy in love, always bringing you cool trinkets he finds at antique stores. He’s the Ride-Or-Die.. though they all are he just hopes you pick him first.

Venti is trouble and Aether tries to keep you from him the most. He’s Aether’s closest friend, he knows you and you know him fairly well, they were college roomates and Venti often came back for holidays. However, Aether knows that Venti is a very handsy drunk.. and he gets drunk often. He’s also a smooth talker, so that doesn’t help. Can’t sleep? Venti will sing you a lullaby! If you want to have a drink, be sure to go to Venti, though! Uhm without Aether knowing. Don’t worry! He won’t let anything happen!

Aether certainly doesn’t like how everyone is so interested in you... but he does accept the fact that you’re an adult and can do whatever you please.. but Archons, if you date one of his band mates.. he’s gonna be sick and going to be crying to their manager, Zhongli, for hours. May even leave said band member a stinky voicemail while he’s drunk.. “Youuuuu! *sniff* don.. don’t hurt my sib-blinin gggg or or i will!! *sniff, hiccup* EAT YOU, I CAN EAT Y-” Zhongli promptly hangs up for him.

#idk what this is #kazuha x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #xiao x reader #xiao x you #venti x reader #venti x you #heizou x reader #shikanoin heizou x reader #kazuha #xiao #venti #heizou #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #lol

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bonefall · 6 months

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who is a character that you love in BB (for better or for worse lol) that you haven’t talked much about yet?

These kinds of questions can be difficult because my brain will just forget completely the minute I'm asked. Who am I. What's warriors cat

BUT it's probably some of the little random background guys who have interesting stories I haven't gotten into yet. I've actually been thinking about WindClan a lot.

Galerunner is one of them. Galerunner and Smokehaze are now the kittens of Brushblaze and Whitetail-- both exes of Onestar. They're born near the start of AVoS, and are pretty young when their dad dies collapsing a tunnel to save a ton of Kin escapees.

Smokehaze dies like she does in-canon, to the Impostor, but Galerunner is going to be present to the modern arc. He's Heathertail's little half-brother, in an odd way. Whitetail wasn't involved in raising Heathertail, but openly offered to Onestar that she would if he wanted.

So Heathertail's relationship to Galerunner is closer than her relationship with their mother, bringing them ALL together, and it's just really sweet. She tells him a lot of stories of Brushblaze (who was a really good friend of hers!) and eventually becomes his mentor.

Gale's a cheeky bastard, too. Very smug, self-assured. He thinks he's a cool guy but he just looks like a goober.

There's also Gorsetail, the mother of Thistleheart and Sedgewhisker. She has a lot going on but I haven't figured her out entirely yet.

First of all, she's Crowfeather's childhood best friend. They had a massive falling out over some dumb shit neither one of them even remembers, and drifted apart as young adults. If they ever remembered what it was, they would feel bitter that THIS is why they stopped talking-- but before a certain point, would just blame each other for not making the first move to reconnect.

She fell head over heels for Beechfur on the Great Journey, but he was waaay better at hiding his forbidden love than his sister Swallowtail. He saw it more as a fun fling. When she got pregnant in Po3, he ghosted her immediately. Gorsetail held out hope he was just busy for months-- even naming one kit "Marsh Thistle" as a secret reference to RiverClan.

In terms of personality, I know she was vaguely fun-loving as a kid and probably still has that goofy streak if you can get her to relax. There's probably a bit of a bitterness inside her, and she's not satisfied with her life. She never got to have a happy mateship, she lost one kid, not really powerful or significant. I think she gets more adventurous the older she gets, looking to make some sort of change in her life.

Her and Crowfeather reconnect, once they're older and a bit more self-aware. Passing each other a heatherhoney lozenge like it's a smoke break and commiserating in how wrinkly they are now.

WindClan's full of some interesting dudes now in my effort to distribute more personality outside of ThunderClan. Stoneclaw and her traumatic muteness, Willowclaw the ferocious and her love of kibble, Cranberrysplash the ex-street urchin whose old name was Spaghetti Bolognaise. Leaftail and his onesided rivalry with Hallowflight of RiverClan.

Shame they neglected WindClan so badly and there's so few warriors there with established personalities, but hey. Opportunity for me to build cool stuff.

#better bones au #BB!Windclan #BB!Galerunner #BB!Gorsetail

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do-i-look-like-a-doctor · 2 months

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okay but the Naruto universe is so fucking weird yet funny if you explain it and question it.

first, you have this lil orphan broke kid ninja boy named after a fishroll. then, you have an emo kid who acts like he got parents and a good way in life despite the fact he’s equally as much of an orphan as Mr. Broke-Blonde-Bitch. THEN you have this normal chick with pink hair who signed up for absolutely none of this nonsense yet got dragged into it. tell me why it’s these three against the world yet none of them can function together? it’s like watching ferrets hyped up on PCP fight over raw spaghetti noodles. dont even get me started when they were in school together, i can bet every person here 6 cents that at some point Sakura aka Ms. Fuckall got tired of Naruto and Sasuke’s bullshit and just tried to abandon them at an animal shelter.

speaking of school and general tomfoolery, why was the dude in charge of these three young squishy brained freaks the most depressed 20 something year old creature on the planet? i will admit, Kakashi is attractive and a great dude. he is so iconic, he misses his old team, and it’s clear he wanted best for his Group of Weird Children but he also reads porn all day and his mask probs smells like cheap aftershave.

if i was a 13 year old ninja child and i saw my sensai (who’s name sounds like cashew) doing all that i’d assume im either about to learn a sick ass skill (how to not cope with emotional trauma properly) or im about to get my ass handed to me. or im about to dropout.

back on track. so you’ve got orphan #1, orphan #2, Ms. Get-Me-Out-Of-Here, and Emotionally Repressed Man in one team. what do the kids do? beef for like 3048384 episodes. what does Kakashi do? try to teach them the power of friendship the entire damn series. oh, and let’s not forget that Naruto apparently has a demon fox inside him because of course he does.

anyways, once the team gets good at teaming they haul off to take their lil ninja exams. who do they meet? some kid named Gaara with smudged eyeliner and shaved brows. he’s a red-head, that’s cute. oh and he can control sand and tries to kill every child in the exams because his dad is a piece of shit hipster. who else do they meet? a kid named Rock Lee who can kick really hard, a girl named Tenten who wishes for all of us to stfu, and poor Neji who can’t keep doing this. there’s also some guy named Guy. yeah, the chunin exams nearly flop because Gaara doesn’t know how to act right.

all this is happening but the pivotal of it all? Sasuke decides to be extra emo and FUCKS OFF TO KILL HIS HALF BLIND SICKLY OLDER TWINK BROTHER.

then, Naruto decides he wants to harness his powers and FUCKS OFF WITH AN OLD ASS BUSHY HAIRED MAN WHO WRITES PORN. Jiraiya needs to be studied on a microscopic spiritual level. he is why SCP’s exist.

who let these kids out? i told you all not to feed the animals and look what happened. now theres beef between a group of kids and the akatsuki.

oh and the akatsuki?? don’t get me started. wtf is that. why is this group of fucked up people with weird powers who are being led by a ginger hive mind of corpses just wandering around? and why is Weasel, aka Itachi, in the middle of it with his goofy explosive hypnotic eyeballs? i want them all put down.

so you’ve got the evil eldirch horrors in the streets. thats fine. Naruto gets put into a new gang cuz Kakashi has to hospitalized. cool, whatever. Naruto decides to start hutning down his rogue boyfriend alongside Sakura, who became a sickass ninja doctor, along with his new sensei Yamato. wonderful… THEN SOME BITCH NAMED SAI SHOWS UP.

DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

what is that? why is it emo? why is its tongue tattooed? put it back outside bro i stg. i love him so much.

everything is just everywhere in this anime bro I can’t. Sasuke is no where to be seen, Naruto is doing fuckall across the world with his groupie, Kakashi is lowkey sad again cuz his kids are gone, and Sakura can barely breathe without issues occurring.

not just that but the twink brother named Weasel is being stupid and enables his own murder. yeah he basically wants Sasuke to come for his ass. meanwhile, Naruto comes home bigger, better, older but still broke and full of fox demon. still, not a single soul except his friends and teachers like him. shit gets even more wild, it becomes knock-off Cheetah Girls vs. The World.

girl i gotta go before i hurt someone. see yall in part 2.

(all of this is heavily unedited, apologies for mistakes)

#naruto #kakashi hatake #sasuke uchiha #itachi uchiha #sakura #yamato #slander #who fed the animals I stg #guys I love this anime plz don’t come for me #yapping #part 2 might be tn or tomorrow idk #uchiha sasuke #uchiha itachi #uchiha obito #hatake kakashi

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youvebeenlivingfictional · 2 years

Text

Stupider Tattoos

Part One of If You Can't Take the Heat

Masterlist | The Original

Pairing: Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto x Reader

Rating: M (though it may have explicit chapters in the future)

Notes: Not beta-read. Chapters are more loosely connected than solidly structured.

Summary: You close out of the app, tossing the phone onto the opposite couch cushion with a huffed scoff. This is just futile. You’re quitting dating apps tomorrow.

It’s an off-handed right swipe, but when your profile pictures shift beside one another, you take a better look at the guy. You hadn’t actually read his bio, you’d just thought he was kinda cute. Now, though, you click on the profile, and you realize that it’s probably a fake—

im a fuckin knowitall jackoff that thinks cooking is better than sex i smell like onion and all of my tattoos are fuckin stupid

You snort. Amazing. Whoever’s running this, either as a joke or to piss someone off, knows what the hell they’re doing. You swipe through a few pictures. His tattoos aren’t that bad…Sure you have questions about a couple of them, but you’ve seen stupider tattoos.

You hesitate before you open the chat and type exactly that:

I’ve seen stupider tattoos.

And you leave it at that. You expect it to be left at that, especially if it's a joke account. But then you get—

did richie put you up to this? And then, you can drop it if he did

Your brow furrows at the question. You tap the chat open and reply: I have no idea who that is, dude

yeah ok

You scoff, shaking your head.

if you don’t wanna talk just unmatch

A solid ten minutes goes by. Then—

you really don’t know who richie is?

how do i know this isn’t richie

You don’t have anything but my word.

least you type better than he does

I’m swooning.

if you’re not trying to fuck with me why’d you swipe on me

??? You’re cute, dude

thanks

sure

you are too

I’m swooning again

alright

…okay. good talk

You close out of the app, tossing it onto the opposite couch cushion with a huffed scoff. This is just futile. You’re quitting dating apps tomorrow.

You wake up to a new message—one that you don’t anticipate, and that, based on your interaction the day before, confuses the shit out of you:

what’s the best meal youve ever eaten

You have to think about it—really think about it. All of the answers that come to mind sound pretty fucking lame. Your Papa’s gumbo? Your mom’s potato salad?—That’s technically not a meal, it’s a component.

Tough question, You answer. Then, I don’t know

no idea?

Nope

youre definitely not richie

he would’ve told you to say spaghetti or balls, some shit

Oh, still on that, huh?

i gotta vet you, right?

Do you?

isn’t that what dating is? vetting people? to be part of, like….your life or whatever?

Sounds like you haven’t dated much, dude

how long are you gonna call me dude?

Til you stop acting like a shitdick

…

kay

So?

What?

best meal you ever had

I told you, I don’t know.

i’m not buying it. everyone has one

Well what’s yours?

i could make it for you

It’s your own food? Full of yourself much? Is that why you smell like onion all the time?

what?

Read your bio

fuck

i don’t

i mean, a little

sometimes

so?

You have to think about it for a moment. The conversation's certainly progressing in a different way than you'd anticipated yesterday. Hell, after that, you hadn't expected to hear from him again at all. But this conversation hasn't been completely unpleasant, and unlike 96% of the people you talk to, he's actually trying to make a plan to meet you.

Yeah, okay.

But only if we can do a video call first so that I know that you're the one in the pictures and that you’re not a murderer.

why would i murder you

I’m just vetting you, buddy.

jesus

fine

now?

Your heart leaps into your throat at the prospect, and you hurriedly get out of bed, half-running to your bathroom. You realize as you go that the nerves are probably unwarranted—if you gave the guy another time, he’d probably be cool about it. But as you hurriedly splash some cool water on your face to wake yourself up, you sort of feel like it’s now or never. You glance at the phone as you fix your hair to make it presentable, checking for a new message. Nothing. You finally type ‘Sure’ as you head down the hall toward your kitchen.

A moment later, your phone is buzzing with an in-app video call. You take a deep breath to quell your swirling nerves before you hit the answer button.

You see a neck first. Then a cigarette bobs into view—and a voice mutters, “Shit, hang on.”

“...What am I looking at?”

“I’m lighting up, I didn’t think you’d answer that fast.”

You arch a brow, setting the phone on top of your breadbox as you begin to make coffee. Your eyes dart toward the phone, doing a double-take as the man’s face comes properly into view. The camera hold is a little shaky at first, but as he adjusts his grip, you get a better look at him. He’s definitely the guy in the pictures, that’s one box checked.

“Where are you?” You ask, eyeing the bland wall behind him.

“Uh…The alley behind my job.”

“You’re not really ticking the non-murderer boxes.”

“Where are you?”

“My kitchen. Making coffee. Are you already at work?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I, uh—I work in a sandwich shop.”

“Explains the onion thing.”

He huffs, nodding as he draws on his cigarette.

“Prepping for lunch?” You press.

“Uh-huh.”

“You like it?”

“Sometimes.”

You glance over at the phone, arching a curious brow.

“So is your name really Carmy?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s short for Carmen.”

“Ah. So who’s Richie?”

He puffs out another long drag, eyes rolling to look at the sky. “He’s my cousin. I mean—he’s not my cousin, he’s like, a family…”

“Friend?”

“—Nuisance.”

You chuckle softly, tucking the coffee-filled filter into the machine’s basket.

“You at home?” He asks.

“Uh-huh. I just woke up.”

“Must be nice.”

You slide your eyes toward the video. “You’re the one, presumably, that chose the exciting world of food service. That means early mornings and late nights.”

“You work in a restaurant before?”

“Just waitressing. And I bartend now.”

“That’s not nothin’.”

The unexpected validation makes you smile, and you nod a touch.

“That’s true,” You concede, “But things are different on the other side of the window.”

“Where’d you waitress? Here in Chicago?”

“Uh-huh. At a hole-in-the-wall diner called Benson’s.”

“On the South Side?”

“Uh-huh. Menu couldn’t decide if it wanted to be typical American food or pub fare.”

“Some overlap there.”

“Yeah, but the food’s gotta be good for that to be pulled off.”

“Fair point. Best thing on the menu?”

“Mm…The meatloaf, if the right person was making it.”

“Worst?”

“The Shepherd’s Pie, oh my god. It was like glue. Glue with rock-hard pieces of vegetables—on cardboard. Swear to god, you could hold that thing upside down like a meringue and it would just hang there. What about you guys, best and worst.”

“I can make you the best if you come here.”

“To the restaurant?”

“Yeah. Could have the place to ourselves after closing. I wouldn’t kill you here, obviously.”

“Not obviously,” You scoff a laugh. “Kitchens have a lot of knives. You could stab me and put me in the walk-in.”

“I value both my knives and my walk-in way too much to do that to you.”

You can’t help but grin at the bite in the man’s conversation.

“Alright,” You nod. “When?”

“Tonight?”

“I get off of work at, like, four in the morning, so.” “A little late.”

“Uh-huh, a little. I’m off tomorrow night, though.”

“Tomorrow, then.”

“‘Kay. Where should I meet you?”

Tag list: @bobawithpomegranate ; @brandyllyn ; @artemiseamoon ; @amneris21 ; @thinemineours ; @backoff-imreading ; @quietpainter ; @milf-trinity ; @distinguishedfilipina ; @peoniarose

#Carmy Berzatto x Reader #Carmy Berzatto x You #Carmy Berzatto/Reader #Carmy Berzatto/You #Carmy Berzatto fic #If You Can't Take the Heat #Stupider Tattoos

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yuurivoicefanfics · 3 months

Text

Charlie x trans male reader ‼️ "I always thought of you as a boy." ‼️After being away for so long you meet Charlie and you're a different person.

"Welcome to Pete's Pizzeria! Where we'd love to put our meats in your mouth! Oh god this is horrible."

Charlie couldn't help but blush in shame at what he had to yell for minimum wage.

"Charlie?" You rolled over to a stop infront of the guy spinning a sign.

"Ca- Casper? You're different."

He looked at your newly grown, still-prickly beard in amazement. Though you were starting to think aproaching was a mistake.

"Uhmm..." You backed away, trying to escape his eyes.

"That's so cool! I can barely grow a mustache, man!"

You blinked twice. "I'm not- Why are you- so calm?"

"What? It's nothing, dude, I always thought of you as a guy! Honestly I called you 'he' way too many times on accident, well, guess it's not an accident now."

You didn't register when you hugged him tight, blinking tears away.

"Aww, man you look great! I mean amazing beard and that's a lot of muscle you built! I'm still a spaghetti noodle hahaha!"

"Thank you Charlie. Thank you thank you thank you!"

#male reader #yuurivoice #yuurivoice x male reader #charlie the pizza rat #charlie x male reader #trans male reader #transgender

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blaqcats-fics · 27 days

Text

[ APRIL FOOLS — Gift for Sal ❤️ ]

“Pasta Primavera Majoris,” Steve blurted out, eyes narrowed at the blurry stars casted over head, trying to discern whether or not he was hallucinating the giant connect-the-dot plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

Startled laughter filled the quiet night air, pulling Steve away from the confusion to face Jonathan and Eddie who were giggling away as if Steve had said the funniest thing in the world. “What? It’s a fucking Italian constellation!”

“Fucking Pasta Primavera!” Eddie laughed loudly. “Where the fuck did that come from?”

Steve’s cheeks flushed and he looking towards Argyle for some form of moral support, “Doesn’t it look like pasta?”

Argyle lifted his gaze towards the sky, humming lowly before nodding, “Yeah, bro, that’s a big plate of pasta.”

“Oh my god,” Jonathan giggled, his head dropped down, hiding his face. He could barely hold his bong, and Steve momentarily wondered if Jonathan smoked way more then he should have in the past twenty minutes.

“No, no,” Eddie waved his hand, nearly dropping to blunt. “I don’t give two shits if it looks like a giant dildo, I wanna know where you got the fucking name from!”

Steve shrugged, “Dunno, man, just kind of popped up in my head — hey, Argyle, do you still have some of those brownies?”

Argyle grinned, reaching into his bag and tossing Steve a pack, “Careful, man, I don’t know how much weeds infused with it.”

“It’ll be fine,” Steve said, pulling out a brownie and breaking off a piece, just to be safe, especially since they were still passing around the bong and apparently Eddie’s freshly rolled joint.

“You know, it looks like an intellect devourer,” Eddie said.

Steve paused, frowning as he glanced at Eddie, “A what now?”

“It’s a monster from DND,” Jonathan explained. “It like eats your intelligence or something? I can barely remember what Will said about it.”

“Oh,” Steve hummed, narrowing his eyes at the sky, trying to imagine what in the absolute hell an Intellect Devourer was. Was it like a brain parasite that jumped on your face and made you brain dead?

“It’s a brain,” Eddie added, before pausing thoughtfully. “It has legs and tentacles. Creepy shit, dude.”

“Cerebrum Cacophony," Steve said.

Argyle leaned forward, staring at Steve in stunned amazement, “What about a constellation for a weed leaf?”

“Cosmic Kush,” Jonathan jumped in, handing to bong to Eddie. “I think that’d be a cool name.”

Steve pursed his lips together, nodding. “It’s cool, but is it funny?”

“Does it have to be funny?”

“Nah, but I don’t know,” Steve chuckled as his train of thought ran away from him. “I was thinking of something like Stellar Stash System. That’s not funny either, damn.”

“No, wait, hold on,” Jonathan said, sitting up. “Follow me here, man. The system is basically just this giant rolling paper guiding intergalactic travelers on a journey through an trans-dimensional trip.”

It was quiet for a moment, before Argyle spoke, “I got no clue what you said, but that sounds like a fun time.”

“Is that what Star Wars was?” Steve blurted. “I feel like that was trip that you needed to be high to fully enjoy.”

Eddie shook his head, leaning his head down, lighting the bowl of the bong and taking a slow inhale before lifting the bong and breathing in the smoke. He held it for a minute before breathing out, the smoke lingering up into the night sky. “There’s way too many intense moments for it to be a good trip.”

“Fuck, you’re right,” Steve groaned. “Fuck the Rebellion, honestly.”

“Dude — Steve, are you an Empire Supporter?” Eddie asked in disbelief. “You, of all people?”

Steve stared blankly at him, “I will never forgive them for what they did to Anakin.”

Eddie stared blankly at him, before snorting loudly, “Holy shit, you’re a nerd!”

“Look, Dustin got me into the movies, and I found out there were books! I liked the Ewoks, and stayed for Daddy Darth.”

“Daddy Darth!?”

“Holy shit, Steve!”

“Seems like you got a thing for the dark side,” Argyle joked.

Steve rolled his eyes, shoving the small piece of brownie into his mouth, “Yeah, it’s why I used to let flesh monsters take a chunk out of me — major turn on.”

“Imagine becoming a high ranking commanding officer just because you got your dick hard for Darth fucking Vader,” Eddie cried.

“I’d be the prettiest commanding officer, thank you,” Steve rolled his eyes. “Padme would be jealous.”

“She’d be fighting a losing battle,” Argyle said seriously. “You’re a very pretty man, Steve.”

Steve ran his hand through his hair, a cocky smirk on his face as he winked at Argyle, “Back at you, babe.” He held the look for a minute before bursting out into a fit of giggles, Argyle joining in with him a moment later.

“Okay, wait, while I agree that Stevie here is very pretty, I regret to inform that Padme would very much win that battle,” Eddie argued.

“What do you think Jon?” Steve grinned.

“What the hell happened to talking about constellations?” Jonathan instantly changed the subject. He glanced up at the sky, “That looks like a worm — Luminescent Locomotion of Lumbricus!”

Steve snorted, starting to randomly sing off-key, “Wormhole Wiggle, it's out of control. Stars all a-wriggle, in a cosmic stroll. So grab your spacesuit, and prepare to giggle, As we groove to the rhythm of the Wormhole Wiggle!”

“Did you just make a jingle?” Eddie exclaimed.

“He mentioned a space worm — why not a wormhole?”

“Steve’s over her fighting the jock allegations,” Jonathan grinned lazily.

“Hey, I never said I wasn’t smart,” Steve huffed. “I just pick up random information and then it just gets stuffed into my brain like a parasite. Let me tell you, I know way more lore and theories about Garfield, the fucking cat, then I would really care to know.”

“Oh man,” Argyle grinned. “Please impart your words of wisdom. I fucking love Garfield. He’s like, I don’t know, a kindred spirit.”

“You do work at a pizza place,” Steve nodded seriously.

“How is that correlated at all?” Jonathan asked.

“Because pizza and lasagna are both Italian?” Eddie suggested.

“Actually,” Steve piped up, changing the subject again, “Lasagna is a Greek dish, technically. We might not know who first made it, but there’s like a common noddle in Ancient Greece called a laganon, so it’s completely plausible that it’s a Greek dish.”

“Steve,” Eddie said, after a long moment, “I don’t know how much my heart can take of you needing out on us.”

“Oh shut up,” Steve huffed.

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #smoke weed everyday #argyle #jonathan byers #stranger things fics #post stranger things season 4 #weed makes Steve a nerd

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teaveetamer · 7 months

Note

Cap: *writes a blatantly sexist, racist, homophobic fic that is immensely popular and influential in the fandom and that many people have explicitly said made them feel uncomfortable when reading it*

Raxis: he's completely innocent everyone who says he ever did anything wrong are just hysterical liars with victim complexes

Moonlitboar: *says that they wanted Lambert to be more morally ambiguous and said they thought Sitri was happy in untagged posts that literally maybe a dozen people max ever saw*

Raxis: THEY DESERVED TO GET CANCELED THEY FUCKED AROUND AMD FOUND OUT THEY’RE AN ASSHOLE but i never did anything to them but i know who did but i won't tell anyone who that is BUT I'M COMPLETELY UNINVOLVED i just know exactly who is involved in this TOTALLY JUSTIFIED C A N C E L A T I O N (and totally not harassment because harassment is bad but cancelation to the point of harassment is fine)

LITERALLY what was the game plan here. His own logic makes it sound like he's actually completely down with Cap getting "canceled" AND he sounds like a blatant liar. Why couldn't he just shut his mouth for once

From the very beginning, no one on Tumblr has done anything that would break his personal definition of "normal" fandom participation. We're "harassing" Cap for talking about his fic and meta posts, but if you bring up Raxy's aggressive disregard for the block button, and how he disregards people directly asking him to leave them alone, he will be the FIRST to say "you put it on the internet so you have no right to be upset about me criticizing your dumbass takes".

He will stomp his feet and throw a tantrum if you say anything even remotely critical of Cap's fic's actual racist, sexist, and homophobic undertones, but Moonlit had one milquetoast opinion about Sitri and Lambert and they "deserve" a brutal cancellation. By his logic Cap should have been cancelled about a thousand times over by now; I'm giving him one cancellation for every use of "girls" to refer to grown women.

He will consistently justify his mistreatment of people with "but someone bullied Cap first" even if the person he's literally harassing has had nothing to do with Cap ever, but if you bring up what he demonstrably did to Moonlitboar it's "how dare you, you shouldn't 'mistreat' me for this thing I demonstrably did and even if I did do it then it wasn't my fault because they deserved it :/"

The truth of the matter is that Raxy doesn't give a shit. His "rules" for engagement are literally just "I should be allowed to react however I want whenever my feelings are hurt, and you should only be allowed to react in a way that doesn't hurt my feelings." Except this man is quite possibly the most fragile human being I have ever encountered and everything hurts his feelings. He genuinely thinks saying "I think Sitri lived a good life" is equivalent in hurtfulness to "I think it's okay to make genocide 'jokes' on your posts". Because the Sitri thing hurt his poor feelings, but well if someone tells me it's funny to remind me that my family died in the holocaust it's not his feelings getting hurt, so who gives a shit, just don't make him look too bad and he doesn't care. I wish I were kidding but that was LITERALLY his primary concern in that situation.

Not "hey talking about how genocide is cool is fucked up" or "hey maybe stop telling the woman who just told you that her family was impacted by the Holocaust that genocide is really funny and something to joke about"

Nope, it's "shut up you're making us look bad, and look now you woke Nilsh up! Don't you know I worked so hard to harass him into leaving social media!"

Like be for fucking real dude, you aren't slick. I can sum up everything you need to know about this guy's attitude in two images:

His logic looks like a mess of spaghetti because it is. Because he works backward from a conclusion ("I should be allowed to do whatever I want and no one should be allowed to do anything I don't like") and he inserts justifications as he goes, with no regard for whether or not it actually makes sense. He went from "Moonlit deserved it because they had bad takes" to "Moonlit was actually harassing me" to "I didn't actually do it anyway" to "I know exactly who did it but I won't say but it wasn't that bad" to now, apparently, "there's a conspiracy against me". He just relies on no one looking closely enough at him to notice the clear pattern. If someone does suss it out he tries to harass them into shutting up about him or he tries to delete evidence of his past logic and behavior (all the better if the person he's harassing deletes everything too, because then he can just make shit up).

The thing that really gets me is like, just how clearly unable to function he is without someone he absolutely hates to bounce off of. Does he even make original posts, or does he just constantly whine about other people's opinions? Every post I've ever seen from him about 3H, even the ones that aren't reblogs or don't have screenshots included, are like 99% "someone had an opinion I didn't agree with! Allow me to debunk it!" posts. The other 1% are recycled talking points from other people's metas, which he writes like he's got a 5,000 word paper due tomorrow that he hasn't even started and he's trying to see how much "slightly reword the wikipedia entry" he can get away with.

And not even speaking just about Raxy, but this is what pisses me off so bad about certain people in fandom. They feel empowered to harass and bully the genuinely awesome, creative people who actually make things. Those people leave, and then they have the audacity to sit there and whine about how the fandom is dead, no one is making anything, everyone left for greener pastures. They suck the life out of vibrant communities and leave nothing but a hollowed out husk. It happened with a ton of fan artists and authors in 3H, including some I'm friends with, who just had to get the fuck out because of the damage it was causing their mental health. And before he says it, no. Saying "Cap's (a white man) fic has some kinda racist and uncomfy undertones I wish he'd take some criticism to heart and correct that" is not the same thing as stalking someone and sending death threats because they have a different opinion about your favorite character. Holy fuck.

Like hey wanna know why no one wants to talk about 3H anymore? Because of this shit. Because saying "I think Lambert doing Morally Complex things is Morally Complex and therefore interesting" is the kind of opinion that can get you harassed into leaving the fandom entirely.

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