#YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARDS

[the-senates-one-fear]

WHAT THE FUCK

BAD BATCH SPOILERS

I HAVE BEEN WAITING SINCE SEASON 1 TO SEE THESE GUYS REUNITE AND SORT THROUGH THEIR ISSUES AND YOUR TELLING ME I GOTTA WAIT ANOTHER WEEK

ANOTHER WEEK

#BRO I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO SEE CROSS AND THE BATCH REUNITE SINCE THAT FIRST SEASON AND YOUR TELLING ME I HAVE TO WAIT #WHY #NO #YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARDS #I WANNA SEE MY BOY BE HAPPY AND HAVE HIS FAMILY BACK NOW #ruined absolutely ruined my week #how dare #star wars #the clone wars #tcw #tbb #the bad batch #tbb spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #tbb season 3 #the bad batch season 3 #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #tbb wrecker #tbb hunter

[piratetheon]

I can't believe they game-of-thrones-ified ofmd. fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me I guess.

#yes I am saying ofmd season 2 is as badly written as got season 8 #we're there #we reached that level of disappointment and disgust #STOP REDEEMING MY FAVOURITE FUCKED UP BOYS AND THEN KILLING THEM CHALLENGE #It's a bit like with theon's death except people actually LIKED izzy #he had a dedicated fanbase!!!! #people cared!! #you fuckers #you absolute bastards

[rigormortisriot]

Just got trapped at the airport for over 7 hours and with no hotel in a city I've never been to...thanks southwest :)

#you absolute bastards #yall shipped us off to a different state so yall wouldnt have to deal with us

[rayalahon]

one thing about Joel Smallishbeans is that he's always giggling. I think most people overlook this in the fandom because most of the time his delivery is just so deadpan and sarcastic, but its when he's doing a bit with another person you can always hear him loudly giggling in between sentences trying not to break character. He is ESPECIALLY prone to doing this with Etho. Its so damn cute it makes me insane and I think more people deserve to notice this!!

#hermitcraft #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans #this post brought to you by latest smalletho interaction in joels video #just joel giggling like a bastard while etho complains about how he was embarassed by joels statue prank #absolutely IMMACULATE vibes from these two. please i need more people to see just how light hearted they are with each other 😭💞 #smalletho <- kinda #rayala rambles

[chthonic-kids]

IT'S ON SIGHT CHRONOS

#hades #hades game #hades supergiant #hades 2 #hades 2 spoilers #THIS IS ALL SHE HAS TO REMEMBER THEM BY #CHRONOS YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD #this trope in fiction always fucks me up real bad and i'm trying so hard not to cry about it #SHE'S GOTTA SAVE A FAMILY SHE BARELY KNOWS BUT STILL LOVES #melinoë #zagreus #persephone

[duntoss]

Smoochable and also very punchable

#the emporer #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #spoilers #Absolute bastard #I am gonna punch you in your squiddie face #also plz love me

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #jrwi riptide spoilers #JUST NOTICED A MILLION MISTAKES FUUUUUUUUCK BUT WWHATEVERRRRR IF I STARE AT THIS ANYMORE IM GONNA HHUURRRLLL #SO I REALLY LIKE FISH AND CHIPS RIGHT. IVE BEEN IN LOVE W THE SHIP EVER SINCE THAT NAT 20 KISS #BUT I THINK I SHIP IT WRONG. OR LIKE. I AM CORRECT BUT EVERYONE SHIPS THEM DIFFERENTLY #THE FISH N CHIPS I SEE EVERYWHERE ELSE IS SO FLOWERY AND SWEET AND ROMANTIC. AND THATS NICE! THAT STUFFS NEAT #but gillion and chip would NEVERRRR enter anything similar to a romantic relationship. chips too damaged and gillions too uninterested #I LIKE MY FISH N CHIPS ONE SIDED AS FUCK #bc 2 gillion chip is his best friend in the whole wide world but hes also kinduvagross little man that took him a MINUTE to really warm up2 #but to CHIP gillion is this powerful and gorgeous and heroic paragon of destiny and his best friend in the whole world who will #bring about the eschaton. 'i didnt believe in destiny until i met you' until i met a champion radiating with a light thatll alter the world #OHH REMEMBER THE FIRST ICE ARENA?he was so mad.still probably shaking from the ordeal.NEVER had he felt true divine radiance CLEAVE through #his SOUL like that.do you remember that moment in the forest w the bugs. an alien from the ocean; lacerating the land w lightning #when the realization flickered in chip for a moment.that the thing standing before him was more powerful than he could ever fathom #remember when grizz mentioned that the nat20 kiss was the 'best kiss chip ever experienced'. that has nothing to do w this. where was i. #LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. BUT HEY. I THINK at the beginning chip absolutely knew that gill was smth grand n powerful n scary #when gillion revealed what exactly the prophecy was;chip got defensive and mad.sure he was sleep deprived but OOH. HES SCARED! #he believes gillion too! he believes that his destiny is to eradicate either the sea or land and that scares him! #but then he gets past it bc ultimately he trusts his bestfriend gillion so so much. he fuckin loves this dude. #he would throw himself intothe path of fire for this dude. he would boat across the ocean for this dude.he would build arenas for this dude #even if this dude will end half the world.even if this dude wields the power and the obligation to eradicate him at any second. #even if this dude is going to throw himself into harms way for his own comrades.even if this dude is just going to sacrifice himself. #one way or another one shall die for the other.these self-sacrificial bastards click so well with eachother!! #chip believes his body is best used to pave roads and gill believes his body is destined to pave prosperity.WHATEVER!! #i really love their dynamic!! they care for eachother so much!in MY heart tho. the icing on the cake here is the fantasy that chip is #just a bit more In Love w gillion than he realizes. like this powerful fish guy is HOT and PRETTY and KIND and FUNNY and LOYAL and STRONG #but gillion would never rly feel that same sort of attraction towards chip. its just not rly his thing. aroace as fuck man. #thats how it is in MY little heart atleast. and i sit here and play w my touys in my brain n i explore my silly lil one sided fish y chips.

[rosepompadour]

Pattie Boyd's diary entry after filming A Hard Day's Night, 1964

#the beatles #beatlesedit #pattie boyd #george harrison #real life romances #* #eric swayne you poor son of a bitch #that bastard never stood a chance #honestly this is disgustingly sweet and i love it i absolutely love it #the name doodling! #she really went method for her schoolgirl role huh

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Abso-fucking-lutely vibing with World's Finest: Teen Titans' addition of Karen as one of the founding members.

Because good fucking god, before this the team was two demigods, two billionaire teens and a Normal Kid™ in neon yellow BUT NOW?! Now it's two demigods, two billionaire teens and TWO Normal Kids™ in neon yellow!

No but seriously though Wally is the only one who has to like... mow the lawn and watch his neighbor's cat when they go away for the long weekend. He's the only one who knows how to mail a letter at the post office and how much pencils cost at a book fair. He's got superpowers and terrible parents and yet somehow he is the MOST NORMAL ONE THERE.

Which speaks volumes about the rest of them tbh.

But now!!! Karen and Wally get to be nerds ✨together✨ and they get free tickets to watch the trainwrecks that the other Teen Titans call life

Seriously though I think these two are aggressively trying to be friends with each other while also roleplaying their 'cool guy' hero personas, which is extremely funny to me. These two are absolute nerds with no friends in school and they are DESPERATE for a friend and they've just met but they've both decided "Yeah that one. That one is friend shaped"

Wally: you move too slow

Karen: learn how to fly dumbass

Anyway I love them

#this is really fun because its like the og titans series where Wally took one look at Mal and was like :O NEW BEST FRIEND #(important to note that mal was a random ass civilian and not even remotely a hero and Wally offered him a spot on the titans right there) #but Karen joined before Mal here and instead of Wally glomming on THEY'VE BOTH GLOMMED ON #TO EACH OTHER #anyway i just think that's beautiful #go off you beautiful neon yellow bastard children. you have terrible homes lives and too much trauma but i hope you have fun being silly #they deserve to be silly together #and maybe they should both go to therapy. not together just in general. i think theyd both benefit #like absolute vibes that they have panic attacks with each other. i stan that they trust each other #but also. therapy queens. pls go #dc #dc comics #the flash #kid flash #wally west #karen beecher #bumblebee #worlds finest teen titans #teen titans #titans

[if-you-heart]

what the cluck

erm what does blird think he’s doing

#pretentious bird #very fond of this guy #ig this is a semi realistic version of opal’s darrel #the little bastard with the big eyes and the sinister aura #art #my art #I think this guy would absolutely demolish a rotisserie chicken if you left it out #chonny jash #cccc #darrel chonny jash #darrel cj #chicken #mucka blucka

[ghouljams]

The Witch makes a bet, Fae!Price shows he can’t be trusted.

It's a beautiful day. Although it usually is. Your ancestors bargained for the patch of Summer your garden occupies ages ago. The front of your house may be battered with the rain of the city, but out back its warm and sunny. You drag a wicker table and stool out to sit in the garden, enjoy the sun. A pitcher of sunshine tea and rose jam cookies act as your company.

You close your eyes, face tilt towards the sun, letting it warm your bones. Your magic purrs like a pleased cat at the ambient energy. You should air out the house.

Price watches you from the fence, it seems he's shown up late. Just in time to enjoy your comfort though. Your pleased little smile, the way your lashes rest against your cheeks, the warmth of the sun radiating off of you. You look like something out of a dream, your shawl pooling at your waist, haphazardly draped over your elbows. He wonders if it's raining on the other side. You prefer that shawl when it rains.

He whistles to draw your attention. Your eyes open slowly, lazy with sunshine as you smile at him. He leans against the gate, coaxes the ivy to cushion him from the iron, and returns your smile.

"Aren't you a pretty picture," His eyes drag over your form now that he's sure you're watching.

"It's a nice day," You tell him, his eyes crease, smile more sincere.

"Wouldn't know, it's cold over here." You hum, nodding a little. You stand from your seat and brush your skirt back into place before going in to the house. It's a funny quirk you have, disappearing in the middle of conversations. Price wonders if it's just him or if you do this to your clients as well. You return with another stool and set it on the other side of the table. A second tall glass is placed next to the pitcher.

Price takes a step back from the gate as you walk towards it. You stop and seem to take another moment to think through what you're doing. He wonders what goes through your mind sometimes. You're so smart, so stuffed full of knowledge. He'd love to help you empty it out, stuff you full of something more deserving.

"Would you join me for a snack?" You ask, voice just at the edge of unsure, "Just until the cookies are gone?" It's conditional, time sensitive, it's hardly a debt, but it's an ask, and you feel the weight of a tether hook between you two. It doesn't hurt as much as you'd thought it would.

Price's hand unlatches the gate and swings it open, and you think you've made a terrible mistake as he crosses your threshold with all the hungry grace of a wolf.

You settle your jumping heart beat, when he doesn’t immediately reach to devour you. He’s almost peaceful as he latches the gate behind him, shaking out the sting of iron from his fingers. You know better than to trust the fae, you know better than to trust him.

“You mind if I smoke?” He asks, settling on the stool you’d brought out for him. You shake your head.

“No, be my guest.” He smiles at you, and you hurry to take your seat again as he tugs a cigar from his pocket. You pour his glass full of tea, topping up your own while you’re at it. Your stomach churns nervously, the sun suddenly too hot on your prickling skin. What would your mother say if she knew you’d invited a strange man into the garden? Past all your wards, past the threshold that’s taken generations to build... She’d be pissed.

Price shakes a match to snuff it, and lowers his cigar with a river of smoke. You do your best not to stare, not to appear too watchful of him if only so he doesn’t think you rude.

“I’m not going to eat you,” He must have caught you staring.

“It would be very rude if you did,” You tap your finger against the table as an outlet for your nerves. Price hums, non-committal.

“You’re warded to hell and back,” He says plucking a cookie from the top of the floral patterned plate, he looks it over, inspecting the sweet before popping it in his mouth, “wouldn’t be able to do it even if you were under my teeth.”

You think his estimation of your abilities is rather flattering. Not that you doubt your own magic, but you’re fairly certain nothing would protect you if you were that close. It’s a nice thought, but you’re desperate to tell him he’s wrong.

“As if you wouldn’t try it even with the wards.”

Price smiles, hardly turning his head to look at you. You’ve never seen smoke like the kind that wisps off his cigar, heavy. It falls from his lips when he smokes it, threading between his teeth like water. You wonder if it’s the smoke, or just the atmospheric weight of him. Price’s presence pressing down everything that isn’t eager to oppose it.

“I like to think I have more self control than that,” He tells you evenly, “How about a bet? Your wards against my will power.”

“Not a very good bet.” You grumble.

“I have confidence in both,” He taps the ash off his cigar, crushing the loose embers under his boot, “you have my word I won’t hurt you, won’t even put a penalty on the wager.” You hum. Not entirely tempted to engage with the offer. Especially when it sounds like Price has no clear “win” scenario.

Either your wards break his bite, or he doesn’t do anything to engage the wards. Even a loss for both of you doesn’t net him any gain. He loses a friendly witch, and suffers the consequences of a major brief in guest behavior.

“Whats the wager?” You ask, suspicion in your voice. You’d try harder to cover it, but you want him to hear. You don’t trust him.

“One minute in my lap,” He holds up a finger to emphasize the number, “No penalty, no prize, let me show you how strong you are.”

You don’t like the heat in his eyes, don’t like the longing in your skin to be touched by him again. You bite the inside of your cheek, worrying it as you think. Sounds easy enough, sounds short enough that you could get away if you really needed. They’re not empty compliments either, the fae can’t lie. So why does Price’s confidence make you nervous? You nod your head once, a short jerk, and push up from your stool. You stand in front of Price, and he pats his thigh.

You settle on his lap and his arm loops around you, holding you tight against his chest. You try not to shudder, feeling him turn his head to keep the smoke he exhales off of you. He brushes hair away from your neck, and you tip your head to keep away from the burning end of his cigar, baring your neck for him. “Atta girl,” He tells you low in your ear. You don’t know what you expect when his nose presses against your rapid pulse. His beard tickles your neck, makes you shiver and shake with anticipation as he seems to rest there and just... breathe.

You do your best to keep your mind on your own breaths, the short and rapid rise and fall of your chest so stark when you can feel the broad, calm, expansion of Price’s against your back. His lips just brush your skin, his exhale touches you more than them, but all you can think about is his mouth. The teeth waiting to gobble you up just behind those maddening lips. You shift in his lap, trying to find some give in his iron grip, a way to wiggle your throat away from his teeth. You still, eyes going wide at the hard press of his cock under you. Heat rushes through you, your face feels hot, can he feel the heat that bursts over your skin from where he’s pressed against your neck?

“Price,” You breathe, try to breathe. He hums, drags his nose further up your neck to bump against your jaw.

“Just a little more, witch.” He tells you, his grip on you tightening to keep you from wiggling out of place.

He releases you and you tumble off his lap, fingers digging into the dirt to ground yourself. Everything is too bright, the blood rushing in your ears too loud. Price stands from his seat, his shadow looming over you as you tremble on the edge of something.

“I’m rescinding my welcome,” You tell him, feeling the tether break. Price hums behind you, snuffs his cigar on the plate holding the cookies.

“You’ve been a gracious host,” He responds evenly, his voice dragging over your skin like silk before he’s gone and you’re left alone in your garden.

#Fae!Price #captain john price #captain price #john price #john price x reader #John price x you #x reader #oh to be a naive witch in Price's lap #he's trying to fuck you girl!! #stop taking his bait you're supposed to be the smart one! #Price you absolute bastard when will it be my turn #this whole thing is just me wanting to sit on his lap and have him scent me #the witch scrubs her skin in the shower after this but she can still feel him on her #and every fae she passes on the street gives her a wide berth #they can all smell Price's claim

[peachducy]

We met under the moon, nothing was said

It's easier for him to take on everything

#GET EVERYTHING EVERRYTHINGD AGAIN YOU STUPID BASTARD happy sycamore sunday #i actually umm don't know how well putting spotify on tumblr posts works I hope this doesn't fuck the post up. #finished drawings #this one is a little fucked up bevcause i changed absolutely everything right at the end #but its fine ITS FINE!! #professor layton #desmond sycamore #jean descole #sycamore sunday #Spotify #professor layton spoilers #azran legacy spoilers

[waywardwendy]

We don’t talk about this enough imho

The absolute

*Gay Drama*

Bonus 🖤:

#good omens #crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale #gomens #goodomens #good omens 2 #good omens 1 #david tennant #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #michael sheen #the absolute fucking DRAMA of that gasp #the audacity #the nerve #please his utterly affronted expression #it’s GOLDEN #Michael Sheen you brilliant bastard #you heathen #*GASPS IN GAY DRAMA* #Crowley go hippity hoppity

[crispycreambacon]

[Image Description in the Alt Text]

Ever wondered what happened to the puppets stuck in the Wondrium Arena?

So did the Professor and his meat shield/bestie westie, Ryan. Instead of waiting for an answer, they planned to get the puppets out of there. They even argued with God over it, or rather the Professor did since Ryan was too mentally out-of-it from the absolute absurdity of this situation.

And what did God give to them in return for winning the argument? A bus. To drive to the Wondrium Arena with. ‘Cause what better way to rescue a bunch of dead puppets than crashing a bus into their purgatory?

— ☆ —

I'm happy to announce the release of my first AO3 fanfic: Seatbelts, Everyone!

As you can see from the blurb above, it's a one-shot crackfic about the Professor and Ryan rescuing the puppets in the Wondrium Arena by crashing a bus into it. 'Cause why not?!

This fic has it all! We got:

Ryan learning how to drive a bus via WikiHow!

God being the absolute worst!

Silly puppet interactions!

Existential crises occuring throughout the fic!

An honestly heart-warming ending?

Y'all the line between silly jesting and sincere genuineness is so blurry in this fic. So if that all sounds like a jam of a time, you can read the fic via clicking here! Or clicking the title. Or searching up "Seatbelts, Everyone!" by crispycreambacon on AO3.

Thank you so much for checking it out! And even if you don't, I hope you enjoyed the comic. May you all have a fantabulous day!

#this comic took 10 HOURS but it was so worth it #I had a lot of fun drawing the expressions and giggling at myself while I poorly photobash to create the backgrounds #THANK GOD FOR IBISPAINT X FREE ASSETS FR FR #Not this God this god is an absolute bastard #(affectionate but still a bastard) #I missed making comics so much you have no idea!! #So proud of myself for completing this fic.. it's been so long since I've written a full story for fun #also fyi we have TWO non-binary icons (affectionate + derogatory) in this fic #the Professor and God #I'm sure you know which one is which :}}} #okay rambling over lemme uh #puppet history #the professor puppet history #the professor #ryan bergara #ryan beef boy bergara #shane madej #estranged producer shane madej #watcher #watcher entertainment #watcher fanart #art #artists on tumblr #fanart #chris p fried art #image described #chris p fried writings

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

and now, a break from our normal schedule for my Favorite cat dad and his lovely vagabond son

#JOXTER JOXAREN YOU WILL FOREVER HAVE A PLACE IN MY HEART #he's napping in the back of my skull Always #feral man... scruffy tomcat... absolute Bastard.... #scribble salad #the joxter #snufkin #moominvalley #hes such a tragic character To Me #he did his Best and still got Everything Wrong but he's still Trying To Fix It and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #joxter you are so so so iconic <3 #snufkin as well but joxter... him... #hes gotta be my fav out of the moomin cast #and his character as seen in most if not all fanworks is pretty much Entirely fabricated lmfao #all we got from canon is 'hes an anarchist. hes lazy. hes a bit of snarky little shit. he gets forebodings. he can repair things.' #and the fandom filled in the blanks with Trauma as fandoms are wont to do #but it made him more interesting tbh... #and of course everyone has their own interpretations of him #but i like how it seems most collectively agreed on 'scruffy cat dad who means well but is kinda a bastard <3' #yes yes Yes

[forlorn-crows]

𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆

just a lil something i tortured @divine-misfortune with last night after he shared this post with me and said "Now hear me out Zeph/aeth and or omega bc they won’t slow down fr a damn second "

and thus i started a doc lovingly called "zephyr/omega go to sleep ya old man"

1263 words of omega misusing quintessence in order to (lovingly i swear) force zephyr to get some rest. yes zephyr will be mad at him later. yes omega is being a lil bit of a bastard. yes i am indulging in my (our) hypnokink, just go with it.

“You’re a stubborn old thing, you know that?”

Zephyr rolls their eyes before side-eyeing the quintessence ghoul, making a face. “Care to elaborate?”

“Been spending a lot of time with those new ghoulettes. When was the last time you slept?” Omega puts a hand on the back of the leather armchair Zephyr is currently seated in, where they were, up until now, engrossed in a text about ancient languages. 

They bite their tongue against the urge to correct him on Cirrus and Cumulus’ names. “I slept last night, there’s no need for your concern.”

“Oh, last night, hm? So that wasn’t the organ I was hearing in the wee hours of the morning?”

“You are as old as this building, Omega, surely you’re aware of the noises that aged pipes make when all else is silent.” 

He tuts. “Far too melodic for old plumbing, Zeph.”

Zephyr grumbles and makes to return back to their book without replying. Omega chuckles, and suddenly his hands are resting on their shoulders, thumbs heavy over the strained tendons on the back of their neck. 

“Why don’t you let me help?”

The air ghoul grumbles again. Slots their small stack of notes along the book’s binding as a makeshift bookmark and snaps the thing shut. They place it onto the table and stare at the fire in the hearth.  

“And why should I let you?” they say to the fading embers. 

Omega hums. “Because you need your rest, you cranky ghoul.”

“I am plenty rested.”

“These knots in your shoulders say otherwise.”

Zephyr closes their eyes and sighs like an exasperated teacher. “And you claim that I am the stubborn one?”

“Come on,” Omega goads them. Telltale magick crackling to life beneath his fingertips. “Doesn’t have to be much.”

Before Zephyr can so much as think about scurrying away with their book, warm quintessence seeps into their bones, the tension held there unraveling from the inside out. Their eyelids flutter, shoulders slumping. Some undignified noise bubbles up from their throat, and they can barely catch their chin from hitting their chest as their head lolls forward. 

“You . . .” They try to protest, tongue too heavy in their mouth to form its usual elegant timbre. Their hands can’t even grip the arms of the chair anymore, cementing them into place and thwarting any chance they had of escaping Omega’s nagging. 

Said quintessence ghoul shushes him, self-satisfied and certainly not even close to genuinely comforting. “There you go. See? Knew you were tired.”

“Hn . . .’m not—”

“You are, look at that sleepy face.” Omega brushes a few strands of hair back behind their horns, their head leaning into his touch without their permission. Zephyr’s eyes are drooping, rolling with the effort of trying to keep them open. Maybe they are more tired than they thought, he didn’t give them that much magick, did he?

Omega coos at them, running his thumb along the base of their horn. “Just close your eyes,” he whispers. 

Zephyr just groans, something close to uh uh, but it doesn’t sound very disagreeing. They’re falling asleep sitting up, and his warm hand against the side of their face does nothing but drag them closer to unconsciousness. Suddenly, they don’t want to get away from him. Magick swirls all syrupy in their veins, and, really, it’s getting harder and harder to have any opinions on the situation. 

Behind them, Omega shakes his head and loops around to the front of the chair, still cradling their head as he kneels between their parted legs. The hands at their sides, having slid off the arms of the chair, twitch towards him. Zephyr watches Omega’s other hand as it comes to hold the other side of their face, eyes slow and delayed as they track its movement. 

“You’d do well to listen to me, you tired old hen,” Omega chides them. He wiggles their head a little, not unlike a chiropractor looking for sore spots. Ensuring they’re close to limp and loose. 

Zephyr just lets him. Has no choice, really. They’d call him a plethora of names later—bastard, unwelcome imp, meddling hypnotist spawn—but the thought of remembering to do so slides away like rain on glass. 

He must sense the fleeting thought behind Zephyr’s glassy eyes, because he adjusts their head again, tightening his grip almost imperceptibly. 

“None of that; you’re being so good, aren’t you? I’m only helping, aren’t I? Little bit of magick to get rid of all those pesky cobwebs between your ears. I know, you’re so tired underneath all those stubborn thoughts. Just takes a nice, kind ghoul like me to help you relax, doesn’t it?” On and on he drones, the words going in one ear and out the other, washing away their own internal monologue and replacing it with his own. They are tired, and an afternoon nap isn’t so terrible, they aren’t really busy. And Omega’s helping them. 

Definitely not using his magick in some smug, actually selfish way, rendering the normally uptight ghoul completely powerless in less than a second. No, it’s completely selfless—a show of his care and concern for Zephyr’s wellbeing. Absolutely not a vehicle to win any kind of argument, not at all. 

Their breathing is slowing now, neck nearly limp in Omega’s hands. Sinking deeper into the fuzzy embrace of sleep. 

“That’s it,” he lilts. “You’re gonna feel so much better, and I won’t even say ‘I told you so.’ How does that sound?” 

Zephyr responds with a long exhale through parted lips, left thigh twitching randomly as the pleasant numbness settles in. 

Omega smirks. “Good.” With one last push of quintessence, he tilts their head just so and watches as their eyes unfocus and fall shut, jaw dropping open with the softest noise as they drift asleep in his hands. The quiet snores follow just seconds later, Omega’s hands the only thing keeping them upright. 

He waits until he’s sure they’re asleep, warming his back against the dying flames while Zephyr slumps in their chair. Only then does he pull back the tendrils of his magick, letting it seep down towards the floorboards as slow as molasses so as not to accidentally rouse them. Thankfully, the library is empty this time of day. Nothing to interrupt the air ghoul’s much needed sleep. 

They’re lax and peaceful now, but Omega’s sure he’ll hear about it when they wake. He laughs to himself at the plethora of elegant insults that come to mind. For now, he takes satisfaction in the way Zephyr’s head lolls back against the chair with the gentlest press of his pointer finger, drool making its way out of the corner of their mouth already. 

“Cute,” the quintessence ghoul comments, smoothing out the wrinkles in his button-down. And then, as a wicked afterthought, he presses the pad of his finger to the middle of their forehead again, sneaking in a cheeky suggestion of a dream wrapped in plumes of balsam and petrichor. Snickering to himself when Zephyr whines quietly and their tail kinks up at the end. “Enjoy,” he whispers, making his exit. 

Omega knows he won’t get any thanks for that—a pity, really, considering it was quite a nice little fantasy—nor will he get any thanks for helping (forcing) Zephyr to get some rest. At the very least, he’ll get a very disgruntled and haughty air ghoul glaring at him for the remainder of the day. 

Omega’s fine with being berated for misuse of magick if it means the poor thing won’t be sleep deprived. Until then, he files away Zephyr’s reaction to it for later.

#author is not sorry for pushing the hypnokink agenda onto the masses #ficlet #the band ghost #the band ghost fanfic #ghost fanfic #fanfic #zephyr ghoul #omega ghoul #omega x zephyr #zephyr x omega #zephyr/omega #omega/zephyr #cw: hypno kink #no i didnt proofread this #quintessence as hypnosis #wheres that anon here i wrote more pspspspsps #dont think about this serious bitch being reduced to an absolute puddle under...other circumstances #yes omega is being a bastard. can you blame him.