The Fraught Family Ties of the Rose-Xiao Long Household:
Sorry for the ramble, I wanted to share something born of a discussion I had with someone regarding the canonical relationship on the Rose-Xiao Long sisters & their father figures.
So, I often find Tai (& Qrow) propped up as good father figures who maybe just had some moments of weakness but either got better long before canon or during the show and who are super close with Ruby & Yang with very healthy relationships.
Given possibly my most popular post, (Yang & Ruby's childhood) I don't think this is a universal stance, certainly not these days, and I don't think its well supported in canon either.
This doesn't mean that love isn't there, but love and resentment can live in the same house and the Rose-Xiao Long household is far more complex than I think people give it credit for.
Now, some will probably highlight positive tones and references in the early volumes, but here's the thing. A child growing up around something can get used to a lot. Ruby & Yang are clearly very used to Qrow stumbling home utterly wasted, even carried by strangers and needing to take care of him. This is normal to them and neither show any resentment towards it until on their last nerve.
That is to say, Ruby and Yang are fine with Qrow's drinking and smile through it, riiiight up until they themselves are on the edge of snapping real hard over things such as in V6.
Neither of them express their trauma like say, Jaune does, who tends to be quite open with his resentment and prone to lashing out. The sisters smile through it, they may express frustration or anger at other things, but not their loved one's, which makes it easy to pretend everything is cool and normal.
Hell, keeping things light with humor is explicitly noted to be how Yang copes and Ruby is shown consistently beginning to show sadness before quickly bottling it up up. This is just how they handle negative emotions they cant comfortably express.
Thus, while Ruby expressing frustration at Yang giving Tai like advice in V1 doesn't indicate hostility, nor does her being all smiles around his presence in V3's opening indicate everything is super awesome.
After all, things are good at that moment, but let's take a look at the end of V3.
Tai is clearly worrying and trying to fuss over Ruby. But she is very neutral on the whole thing, mostly just trying to get intel on what the fuck happened from him and not being remotely upset when Qrow makes him leave. She show's a bit more vulnerability around Qrow, but is still very focused on the practical questions of what happened.
Its only when she's alone with Yang, that Ruby really becomes expressive with her emotions and more to the point, shows outright uncertainty in what to do. This leads her to being shocked when Yang is in no fit state t provide her with the guidance and support she clearly craves and expected.
Ruby also specifically addresses her letters to Yang and broadly speaking doesn't really seem to think about Tai all that much. Again I don't think she dislikes him, but given she openly acknowledges Yang as the one who raised her & Yang herself noted she had to keep the family together...
Well, I think that Ruby doesn't really perceive Tai as a parent, strictly speaking. In the sense that I don't believe she views Tai as someone to go to for comfort or advice or guidance.
He's her dad and she loves him, but he's less of an adult to her than Yang was. In that same vein Qrow is a Huntsmen, her mentor and uncle yes, but the former I think inform her behavior with him more than the latter.
Now, let's also compare Tai and Yang's relationship a little.
We know Tai taught her how to fight, but he doesn't show any real understanding of how her Semblance works or her fighting style given she has utilized plenty of blocks, dodges and clever strategies in the first three volumes. What's more him critiquing her for fighting that way and making it her fault when he taught her feels suspect to me.
(I would note it was Yang who realized Ruby needed CQC help before anyone else, so she clearly thought deeply on this stuff.)
But beyond that, we see Yang is heavily isolated, both from how the camera work frames her. But also because she us housed in a guest room and that Tai, while obviously unhappy about what happened overall seems far more focused on Ruby in terms of trying to provide some care. What's more, when she's clearly distressed he walks away and leaves her to stew.
Yang's shown still doing lots of work around the house, despite everything and his efforts to 'help' her are all about getting her back into the fight over worrying for her safety like he did Ruby.
This is a big thing for me, Tai was clearly deeply upset when Qrow wanted to speak to Ruby alone and terrified when she left.
Meanwhile when it comes to 'helping' Yang its all about getting back into the action and going after Ruby. He doesn't seem to mind the idea of sending her into danger.
Then there' show he hypocritically dismisses her trauma and depression while at the same time diminishing her maturity despite him having left her to raise Ruby and keep the family together.
He also makes his help for her conditional on her no longer "Moping" while its her teachers who barely know Yang that provide actually useful guidance on healing.
When alone he also frames 'caring for her' IE letting her live in the house and take care of herself, like its this heavy burden that is keeping him from Ruby.
This is despite the fact he ultimately does not go after Ruby.
You can claim its a budget thing the show we have is the show we have. Thus, he sends her off to parent Ruby instead of himself. Also Tai outright compares Yang to Raven despite them being radically different and honestly Ruby being a lot closer to even the positive traits he ascribed to Raven.
Thus I think there's an element of projection that leads to Ruby being preferences between the two but also Tai having come in too late to really be seen as the parent he wants to be perceived as.
Now, let's look at Qrow.
Both sisters are clearly used to him staggering or being carried home drunk and needing to take care of him, meaning they have been doing this since childhood.
This would have a hugely negative impact on their mental wellbeing and impact how they perceive him.
Beyond that, I am unsure how close he even is to Yang outside the superficial. Some of that may indeed be down to time, but there have been periods where they could have shown a deep bond and its not manifested.
When Yang is framed, her team, two of whom have only know her for a few months and have plenty of trauma that would make them rightly suspicious choose to believe her and sympathize with her.
Qrow meanwhile says she is either lying or crazy and does not express much in the way of real empathy or trust.
Rather than showing an interest in maybe trying to resolve the issue or help her through decides that maybe directing her to Raven might help. He obviously cares, but generally never shows much of the same concern or affection for Yang that he does for Ruby.
Granted even then Qrow requires caretaking from both his nieces.
What's more he often tethers Ruby to Summer. So while his mentorship of her does let her be a little more vulnerable with him than Tai its still an unbalanced relationship.
However outside of that, Qrow's generally fairly good with Ruby and her influence on him seemed to be the primary thing that stopped him drinking. He also shows a great deal of faith in her in general, though how much of that is projection likely varies.
But he mentored Ruby so its natural they are maybe a little closer.
Still, I think Ruby & Yang held Qrow in higher regard, at least as a Huntsmen than their father, there's a lot of baggage to the relationship at a minimum.
I also think Ruby & Yang's lack of communication seen in later volumes is sort of reflective of the families unhealthy dynamics evolving between them.
Yang being forced to raise a sister two years younger than her is already a heavy burden on both of them. Yang from having to step up and fill the roll of an adult as a child & Ruby because no matter how hard Yang tried it as never gonna be perfect but she couldn't exactly complain about it either.
So both just sort of smiled through the pain as they grew and came out fairly functional and happy if carrying a lot of baggage beneath the surface. This is why both respond to grief and trauma in a similar manner, pushing the issues down until they explode or collapse. It was how they got by.
They were also extremely close, for all that Yang talked of Ruby maybe trying to branch out onto other teams, she instantly tried to seek her out in the Emerald Forest, saved her a spot in the auditorium and generally tried to assist and advice her along with expressing great pride in her.
Ruby bore with with a mixed degree of playfulness and teen like annoyance, while still wanting to cling to Yang. She was also very comfortable early on with expressing her concerns around Yang, such as with Blake being so stressed and not knowing what to do about it & seemingly had total faith in Yang's ability to resolve things.
As previously outlined, when Ruby was seeking comfort and guidance after the Fall of Beacon she went to Yang and was shocked when Yang couldn't provide her what she needed and quickly began separating herself, clearly deeply impacted.
Yang remained the center of her homeward focus after that fact and when Yang returned she was able to express vulnerability with her.
Briefly.
However, Yang soon showed that her recovery was not as complete as she wanted to project and again Ruby was at a loss for what to do with a Yang who is upset.
Keep in mind she's entirely capable of comforting a drunk, hung over or otherwise very upset Qrow, but the prospect of comforting Yang leaves her shuffling nervously outside the door while Weiss helps her.
Ruby's perception of Yang seemed to have put her on something of a pedestal in the way a lot of children do their parents where its hard to start seeing them as a person.
& When Ruby did start seeing Yang as a person, her complexes regarding leadership caused her to see Yang as someone who needed protection.
This caused her to freeze Yang out of her issues, we see this with her rejecting Yang's efforts to comfort her in V8, responding instead with sullen silences or sharp emotional jabs to try and make Yang go away.
Yet at the same time, she didn't entirely try to keep the façade up, perhaps in part because she couldn't.
I also think there's a part of her that sort... Expected Yang to know what to do and to say for her even though Ruby has changed as a person and is no longer communicating clearly like she used to.
Which then causes her to resent Yang for not being able to say the right things and provide the right assistance like she did when they were kids. Even though Yang doesn't know how Ruby feels their relationship has changed and can't know with Ruby actively avoiding acting in a manner that would elicit her concern.
Basically, this is an extremely messy family.
It has four actual adults, the most competent of whom martyred herself. One of whom left because she couldn't handle it and two of whom failed when put to the test.
This left the role of grown up in the room to Yang who had to keep the family together and raise her sister. While Ruby had to basically become the least troubled child possible to make this easier on them all.
Raven cutting herself out of their lives and her ties to Yang, while Summer being a beloved martyr seems to have also rippled down to their kids.
With Yang almost being like the black sheep of the family. She's the one they expect to do something immoral or "crazy' and generally expected to take care of herself and Ruby without any kind of acknowledgement or significant assistance.
Meanwhile Ruby is regarded as a sort of proto Summer, this beacon of purity, which leaves Tai over protective but ultimately inactive leaving the task of helping her to Yang. With Qrow expecting the world from her which just applies more pressure.
I do think everyone of them love each other, but I also think there's also a lot of resentment, frustration and projection going on here, with many utter failures of parenting. These ultimately caused the families relationships to never developed into what they should be and are instead leaving them in an odd sort of limbo; with a lot left unsaid and unhealthy.
143 notes
·
View notes
“This world was created to end.” Ruby has been taught that since her earliest days. Mom and her Grimm were meant to have destroyed this world long ago, and it’s only through the efforts of foolish Hunters that it continues. Oh, it’s not that the Hunters are evil. Mom always told her that good and evil don’t exist. There’s just those dedicated to keeping the world turning long after it was meant to stop, and those dedicated to letting the world end as it was supposed to. The foolish Hunters consider the Grimm evil, but that’s just silly.
So Mom had tasked her with infiltrating Beacon Academy and seizing the relics within. Ruby had been excited. She’d help Mom end the world, just as the Brothers had decreed so long ago. Mom had insisted she couldn’t tell anyone about her mission, but Ruby was sure there was a chance to meet someone who’d be receptive to doing the Brothers’ bidding. It was a holy crusade, after all.
She literally runs into her first friend before Initiation. After they’d crashed into each other and stumbled to the ground, he’d offered her a hand up. “Sorry about that,” he said shyly as he pulled her to her feet. “I really need to pay more attention to where I’m going.”
“No big deal,” Ruby had said, equally shy. It really wasn’t a big deal. When the world ended, such petty concerns as being knocked over would be as naught. Still, he was being so friendly. So much more than Mom’s devotees ever were that Ruby smiled at him. He smiled back, and something danced in Ruby’s chest.
The boy introduced himself as Oscar Pine, and she introduced herself as simply Ruby. Mom had never used a last name, and Ruby had never been given one, so “Ruby” was all she had.
They became fast friends, despite ending up on different teams. She managed to befriend a few other people, too. A fiery young woman with blonde hair, who felt familiar in a way Ruby couldn’t explain, named Yang Xiao Long. An awkward young man named Jaune Arc. Being with them was so bright after a literal lifetime of darkness. As her mission to claim the relic continued over the months Ruby, for the first time in her life, wondered if destroying the world was really necessary when there were kind people like her friends in it. Oh, she understands that the destruction isn’t punishment, merely a necessary part of the cycle, but Ruby is just now realizing Mom never really explained the cycle. Or why the Brothers’ want to destroy the world beyond, “So they said, and so it must be.”
But Mom hadn’t told her that Grimm actually killed people. Mom had never told her about loved ones left behind by those deaths. And, slowly but surely, Ruby starts to question things. Oh, she still reports the movements of Ozma and his inner circle as best she can. Mom needs that information, after all. But... why do they have to die if they’re serving the Brothers’ so faithfully. Why do her friends have to die? Ruby doesn’t understand.
Beacon’s dance comes and Oscar, gently nudged forward by Jaune and Yang, asks if she’d go with him as a date. Ruby... doesn’t know what a date is, but something in the way he asks brings the dancing things back into her stomach. So, she says yes. The dancing things dance harder and Oscar beams at her so she assumes she’s making the right choice.
She talks to Yang about the dancing things afterwards, and Yang gives her a toothy grin. “You’re in love with Oscar,” the blonde tells her. “Don’t worry about it, he feels the same way. You’ll see.”
I... I’m in love with Oscar? Ruby thinks, surprised. But more importantly. Oscar is in love with me? She’s surprised by the idea. But she’s more surprised by how much she likes the idea, or the fact it turns the things dancing in her stomach to a full on dance routine.
And so it came the day of the dance, when Ruby was supposed to further her mother’s plan. But... she didn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to leave Oscar’s side. If this was what being in love felt like, then... How could she ever give this up? Mom had insisted there was no such things as good and evil, but now... This felt good. This felt right. Dancing with Oscar and being around him. Loving him, and apparently being loved right back. How could destroying this be right? Even if the Gods’ wished it so. It just... didn’t make sense.
And in that moment, Ruby decided. She’d never give this up. Not for her mother, not for the Brothers’.
23 notes
·
View notes