#a day or two prior. That could happen again tomorrow.

[dixons-sunshine]

Sleepy!reader falling asleep all the time on Daryl’s shoulder,Chest,Arm anywhere in car ride or meeting with group and everyone teasing him and her about it

Sleepyhead | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: Life in a world ravaged by the undead was hard. Constantly wondering where you'd find your supplies, whether your loved ones were safe and whether you'd die that day was exhausting. That exhaustion caught up with you, but thankfully, Daryl was more than willing to be your temporary pillow, even at the expense of getting teased about it.

Genre: Fluff.

Era: Prison, post season three, pre season four.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sleep deprivation.

Word count: 768.

A/n: This is really short, but I really didn't have it in me today to write anything long, so I wrote this little fic instead. I feel like this isn't exactly like what was requested, but I hope you like this nonetheless!

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

“Aw, the two of you are so adorable.”

“Glenn, get your camera. We need to get a picture of this.”

“Who knew you could be so soft, Daryl?”

The sound of laughter pulled you out of the black abyss of sleep you were nearly lost in. As everyone continued talking to the archer who's chest you found yourself rested against, you could clearly hear the teasing tones in everyone's voices, and it nearly made you smile—however, that would blow your cover and show everyone that you had woken up again. You wanted to see how Daryl handled the situation.

Barely even fifteen minutes prior, you had been sat against the wall of the lower level of the cellblock as everyone participated in a game of truth or dare. However, not too long into the game, you had yawned and rested your head back against the wall. You were extremely tired, the nights of sleeplessness finally knocking on your door in the form of exhaustion. As you had closed your eyes, you could distinctly feel the arms of someone wrapping around your shoulders, and your cheek had found itself rested upon a firm yet soft surface—that surface you now knew to be Daryl's chest—and a blanket had been draped around you.

“If y'all dun' shut the fuck up righ' now, I'll throw this goddamn pot at yer heads,” Daryl grumbled, subconsciously tightening his arms around you and readjusting the blanket that he had draped around the both of you to fight off the chill the night exhibited. “She ain't been gettin' any sleep lately. S'the first time she's slept in days. If y'all wanna make fun'a me, do it tomorrow when ya dun' run the risk'a wakin' her up.”

“Aw, Daryl,” Michonne awed teasingly, sharing a small laugh with Carl, who watched the exchange in amusement. “You're so sweet. Who would've thought that you'd actually be a big teddy bear instead of this brooding, scary guy you pretend to be?”

“She did,” Rick laughed, motioning over to you. “Look at her. She managed to make Daryl hold her in front of all of us. I thought that would be impossible.”

“Piss off, Grimes,” Daryl replied, ducking his head to hide the blush that spread over his face. Somehow, without even having to shrug you off first, Daryl got up and held you bridal style, regarding the amused faces of his friends once more before turning around. “M'takin her to bed. Nigh', assholes.”

Laughter followed him as he climbed the stairs to your shared cell. You nuzzled your face into his chest and tried to hide your smile, vehemently amused by the situation Daryl had just escaped. You knew that the two of you wouldn't hear the end of what had happened downstairs, but you had no problem with a little teasing over something as tender as Daryl holding you.

Soon, Daryl layed you down on the bed and climbed in behind you, adjusting the covers around the both of you. The archer grumbled something to himself before pressing himself against your back, wrapping his arms around you.

Finding it the perfect moment to add some teasing of your own, you rested your hand over his that rested around you. “They're right, you know. You are really sweet.”

A few beats of silence passed until Daryl spoke up. “Ya were awake the whole time?”

“No, not the whole time,” you corrected. “I woke up because everyone was laughing too loud. I'm glad I did, though. I'd hate to miss any opportunity to see you get so flustered.”

“Yer the worst,” Daryl mumbled, nuzzling his face into your shoulder blade.

“Yeah, I am,” you giggled. “You love me, though.”

A long moment of silence passed. You thought that Daryl had fallen asleep already, but soon he tightened his arms around you and pressed a kiss to the exposed skin on your shoulder.

“Yeah, I do love ya, sleepyhead.”

#krys writes .ೃ࿐ #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl x reader #twd daryl #daryl dixon imagine #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon the walking dead #the walking dead daryl #daryl #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl drabbles #daryl fanfiction #twd daryl x reader #daryl x female reader #daryl x you #daryl x y/n #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x you

[waltzofcloths]

ANYWAY lmao so I AM being specifically targeted by that guy at work. Cool.

#julspeaks #'he never pesters [male coworker] who does nothing while on the clock. He just pesters women' #me agreeing (because it's true) and her going 'he does it to YOU too specifically' #me going 'yeah I swear that other meeting we had where he said management was super disappointed with what we do each shift #and that me need to do detailed work he was staring at me the whole time like it was specifically my fault' and her NODDING #AND the fact he CONTINUED the discussion with me (exclusively) when the meeting concluded and we went back to what we were doing #ah. Sexism. Isn't it just Something #what's worse is I think they got pissy at how I wasn't able to fold some of the tables because I didn't have time #but I left like two minutes after my shift ended because fuck no am I staying back without prompt & extra pay. lol #and apparently ??? they had a go at my coworkers (not me or the other lady on the clothing half of the store I think she left before me) #for it and it's like?? It isn't even their fault??? If it's anyone's fault it's ''my''' fault (with heavy airquotes) #(heavy airquotes because I was told I was also working on ladieswear like. over halfway through my shift (which was four hours long) #and because of that I had't worked on my section with the notion I'd also be working on ladies (spent over an hour in footwear for instance) #so even when I stopped doing returns and just went about tidying I just. Didn't have the time to do ANY folding properly. Like At All. #The folding in my own og section is abysmal itself. They barely resemble piles. #So REALISTICALLY it's owed to the fact we are understaffed/not rostered properly. But Fuck Me I Guess.) #What if they have a go at me tomorrow #That could happen. When we had a meeting today He was there (of course) and was trying to talk poorly about the work someone had done #a day or two prior. That could happen again tomorrow. #Problem is he isn't on the app/days he work aren't visible on there #Unless he goes by a different name??? He's literally not there so I don't know he's there at work until he (unfortunately) approaches me #tbh if they do single me out just to talk down to me I'll bring it up to my parents and see if that'll get them to let me quit (potentially #COULD work..... I don't know I haven't told them about the fact I sobbed on Christmas Eve or about This Guy. So that could convince them #to let me leave job. Idk

[soobnny]

jealousy, jealousy — nrk.

trope. established relationship. overprotective / jealousy au.

synopsis. nishimura riki is stubborn and hard-headed, yet not even a fight can stop him from making sure no one bothers his girlfriend. who knew jealousy could look so good on riki? (2.1k words)

note. here’s to anon who requested for me to write jealous aus! realized i’ve never actually tried writing it before :0 the song btw has nothing to do w the fic. just stole the title

There’s nothing more unsettling than seeing you trying to talk to Nishimura Riki who is actively making it a point to avoid looking or speaking to you, despite being in the same vehicle.

Especially when you’re saying, gently, “Riki, I’m really sorry.”

Riki couldn’t bring himself to look at you. He was understandably upset, and there was an insistent voice in his head that told him to give you the silent treatment. Your boyfriend had the right to be annoyed – especially when he had spent hours prior in the day waiting for you at your favorite ice cream parlor.

It wasn’t like you had meant to stand him up on your date. You had been called back late by your teacher, and you had forgotten to inform Riki especially when your mind was a sea of responsibilities you had to tend to. And on most days, Riki would understand and forgive you in a heartbeat – even offer to help you with your workload.

He always said it was a stupid reason to be upset with, and it was in hindsight. However, it’s been a really long time since you’d last been on a date together.

With his dance competitions and your constant strive to keep your scholarship, the both of you were understandably busy. Spotting free time on both of your schedules was rare and you took every chance at spending time together when it happened.

Today was one of those days, and the plan was that you’d go on an ice cream date (just the two of you) before going to one of Jay’s famous parties. It didn’t help that Riki was particularly clingy today after having lost a spot in the Top 3 of his recent competition. He just wanted to be with you, to bask in your comfort, and to hold you in his arms as a reminder that there was always next time.

And you had accidentally robbed him of that. So, Nishimura Riki was upset with you.

“Riki–” You begin.

“Don’t.” He cut you off before you could even continue. “I don’t really want to talk to you right now.”

He surprised himself with how cold he spoke to you, guilt instantly settling in, but it was too late to take back his words. Besides, you knew never to take it to heart when Riki was upset. You’d just have to try again tomorrow, when he’d have enough time to calm himself down. So, you simply grow quiet as he pulls up the driveway of your shared friend’s house.

The night air is cold when you step out of the car, and you visibly shrug at the sudden coolness in contrast to the heat you had felt in the silence between you and your boyfriend. It’s only now that Riki allows himself to look at you. His gaze follows the gentle shaking of your shoulders and the clattering of your teeth as you wrap your arms around yourself in an attempt to warm yourself.

While he was angry, Riki was not a cruel boyfriend. Shrugging his jacket off, he places it on your shoulders gently, helping you adjust your arms in its sleeves to make sure that in the chill of the night and the air-conditioned party, you would not feel cold.

Before you can thank him, he starts walking for the door.

Poor Sunoo is unaware of the fight when you pull both of you in for a hug, bouncing in conversation and being greeted by an awkward string of responses from the both of you. He only understands the situation when you and Riki walk separate ways upon entering the party.

The music is unbearably loud, and Riki is the first one to go meet up with his friends. You walk the opposite direction in hopes of seeing a friend.

Truthfully, you did not want to be in this party right now. It was only ever fun when you were Riki, popping out an ankle biter or two as you’d make fun of the drunk teenagers around you. Time always stretched in meaningful ways when you were with him, blurred by silly dancing and excusing yourselves to pull pranks on your friends.

“(Name)!” You spot Felix, a good friend of Jake, approaching you with a smile on his face. He gives you a side hug, immediately noticing the lack of your boyfriend by your side. “Where’s Riki?” You return the warm smile at the boy, politely acknowledging him. You don’t really want to tell him you weren’t with Riki because you had a fight, so you settle with a little white lie.

“He’s downstairs. I’m looking for a friend.” Felix nods his head, patting your head before he’s called by Hyunjin. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll see you around!” With one last tap on the shoulder, Felix heads towards the direction of his friend, leaving you to walk around by yourself again.

You grow more anxious upon not spotting a single close friend in the party after roaming around the house for a good fifteen minutes. Then again, Jay’s space was huge and it’d be impossible to look through every space and crevice in search of a friend.

You had hoped maybe Yuna or Yunjin were around so you could pass time through conversation and gossip. However, fate doesn’t hand you luck tonight.

On the other side of the party, Riki is seated with his friends – Sunghoon and Jake joking around with a beer in hand as they chat about their recent flings, Sunoo off to dance with friends, Heeseung and Jay busying themselves to make sure the partygoers were accommodated with enough food and drinks, and Jungwon who is concerned why his friend is awfully quiet tonight with the absence of your usual figure next to him.

“Where’s (name)?” Jungwon starts.

“We had a fight.” Riki’s response is pointed as he glances at Jungwon before going back to people-watching. It’s like he doesn’t want to say it. Riki hates fighting with you – and while it was normal to occasionally fight in healthy relationships, it didn’t mean Riki hated it any less. However, he was stubborn and hardheaded, and that insistent voice has not left his head.

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Jungwon blinks, unsure of how to respond. He wasn’t sure if Riki wanted him to keep pushing at the topic or not. Going for the safe option, Jungwon keeps his mouth shut as he excuses himself to go help Jay and Heeseung.

While heading for the kitchen, Jungwon spots you seated on another couch in the living room, scrolling through your phone. Next to you is Chaewon who looks like she’s in a peaceful slumber despite the loud music and the crowd of people.

When you catch sight of the boy, he waves at you politely before he disappears into the crowd.

You hum to yourself. You suppose you should just leave in a bit after Chaewon wakes up. Besides, it wasn’t really a bother having her lean her head on your shoulder, and you didn’t really want to wake her to leave the party you had just joined.

You’re less fortunate with the man seated on your left.

He had been trying to talk to you the whole time you were looking for a friend (after Felix had left your side), and he had sat down next to you the moment you grew tired.

When Jungwon disappears, the boy next to you perks up and starts quizzing you on your name, which school you went to, what year you were in. He honestly seemed friendly, noticing your lack of mood for the party and attempting to lighten it up a little. But, you did not feel like answering him.

Perhaps he was trying to make a friend, but you were too preoccupied on how you were going to apologize to Riki tomorrow. And, he was being a little too creepy about not leaving you alone.

He tries asking you open-ended questions, tries to be quirky by asking conversation-inducing questions, but you really had nothing to say that might be of interest to him.

“You look like you aren’t enjoying yourself.” You’re ripped out of your thoughts at his constant efforts at a conversation, and when you start to feel properly awkward, you feel his arm slide behind you, dangling on the couch and inching impossibly closer to you. Maybe he wasn’t trying to make a friend after all.

You silently pray in your head for Chaewon to wake up so you could peel yourself away from the situation.

You stutter over your own words, trying to think of a way to tell him you really weren’t in the mood to have a conversation with a stranger, and you’re sure Riki wasn’t too big of a fan of someone else trying to be touchy with you.

While you appreciated his efforts at trying to make you enjoy yourself, you can’t help but think that he had ulterior motives, and you were sure your boyfriend wouldn’t appreciate that.

Was the oversized jacket you’re wearing not clue enough that you had a boyfriend?

“Yo, who’s that next to (name)?” Riki’s ears perk up at the mention of your name, back straightening as he tries to listen in on Jake and Sunghoon’s conversation.

“Riki, I think someone’s trying to chat your girlfriend up.” Sunghoon looks behind him to look at Riki who has grown intimidatingly silent at his comment. Motioning over to where you’re seated, Riki pushes himself off from the couch, peering over in search of his girlfriend in the crowd.

Jake and Sunghoon were right. In his view, he spots a stupid looking boy trying to impress you – and you were clearly not having it. Riki feels his head start to ache and his fists clench by his side. He grips his phone tighter, knuckles turning white at the sight that greets him.

The icy grip of jealousy that seeps through his veins is overwhelming. You’re smiling politely at the boy, and Riki knows you’re trying to think of a million ways to get away from the situation. He doesn’t understand why he feels jealous. It’s not like you even wanted to talk to that boy.

Then it clicks. Maybe that’s why. Because here you were, seated with some boy who has his hand on your shoulder when it should’ve been him. And all of this is happening just because he was upset at you for your lack of communication from a while ago.

Nishimura Riki couldn’t take it anymore.

Locked and loaded behind gritted teeth and popping veins on his neck, he makes his way through the crowd, stopping right in front of you and the cause of his annoyance. “The fuck do you think you’re doing?” Riki glares down at the boy beside you. “That’s my girlfriend, so get your hands off her.”

The sight of Riki is enough to send bullets of sweat down the boy’s forehead. With a newfound fear, the boy straightens up from his seat, pulling his arm off of you before raising it in defeat. “Dude, my bad. She was here alone, how should I have known she had a boyfriend?”

“Go fuck yourself.” Riki’s face flashes in your direction and his features soften at a ridiculously fast pace. He reaches out to take your hand in his before gently tugging you off of the couch, apologizing to Chaewon in the process while he takes you outside.

Riki pulls you in for a hug. He doesn’t care how upset he was with you, he needed to make sure you were okay. With his hand running through your back and his lips pressed on top of your head, he feels his mood instantly lighten.

He pulls away, brushing your hair off your face before asking quietly, “Are you okay?”

You thought about it for a second before nodding your head, smiling gratefully at him. You know he was upset with you (he might still be), and Riki tended to be stubborn and hardheaded when it came to arguments. It was just nice to know that even then, he always had your back. Even if he was angry or upset or annoyed, you knew you could always count on him to be there for you.

“You wanna go home?”

You nod your head, scooting closer to him. He knows that you just need him so he takes your hand in his, leading you over to where he had parked the car. “Maybe some ice cream to make it up to you?”

“Okay. I’m still upset, by the way.”

“I know. I love you.”

“...Love you too.”

#enhypen x reader #nishimura riki x you #ni-ki x reader #ni-ki x you #ni-ki x y/n #enhypen ni-ki x reader #enhypen ni-ki #nishimura riki x reader #enhypen riki x reader #nishimura riki x y/n #riki x y/n #riki x reader #riki x you #nishimura riki fanfic #enhypen nishimura riki #sam nishimura #jealous #overprotective

[manfuckthisimout]

I promise to god if that man looked at me like this?

FOLDED IMMEDIATELY!

Let me take you through my mid for a moment:

Yoongi doesn’t argue.

He simply doesn’t have the energy to waste on something little and petty like that.

Unless it’s something relationship changing, he’s not going to dwell on it. He prefers to squash the little stuff in favor of peace and solitude.

But that doesn’t mean you can talk crazy to him.

“You know what, fuck the dinner! I don’t care anymore, you can starve for all I care!” Yoongi has been coming home late for three days now, often taking his work home with him. You came into his home studio to ask him what he wanted you to make for dinner, but you were only met with short answers. “Like I said babe, make whatever you want. I’m gonna eat it regardless, just lemme finish this.”

Yoongi was knee deep in producing something or another for some artist in the industry. His work was superb, but he often threw himself into it, often neglecting eating or sleeping for hours at a time. You just wanted to sit down and have a nice meal with your boyfriend, is that too much to ask? “I’m asking you because I want to make something you’d eat now, not after I go to bed.” You spat, eyes narrowed into slits. “I’m still gonna eat regardless, what does it matter the time?” Yoongi replies, his voice cool. You can’t see his expression, for his back is turned to you, but you just know that furrow that appears when he’s focused on two things at once is present between his brows.

You storm over beside his desk, forfeiting your position in the doorway a few seconds prior. “I know you eat Yoongi, but it’s timing that matters! You can’t keep neglecting your needs for some stupid beat that will still be here tomorrow!” You holler, your frustration getting the better of you. His eyebrows raised at the mention of his name. You kept going, “Y’know, why is it you keep bringing this shit home anyway? Are you too busy at work doing something else than get this done? Or someone? Am I not enough for you anymore Yoongi? Is that it?” You seethe.

Yoongi’s head whipped up and over to you so fast you hardly saw it happen. His chair was turned around now, parallel to you standing beside his desk.“What did you say? Say it again.” He says, his voice dangerously low. He was looking at you, daring you to make your assumption again. You were taken aback, almost tripping over his chair due to the sheer closeness of him. But stupidly, you did not yield. “Are you sleeping with another girl! Is that why you seemingly never have anytime for me anymore?” You hiss. His brows raise further, pinching at the top of his forehead to make wrinkles in his skin. He looks positively bewildered, speechless by your audacity.

You two stay like what feels like an eternity. Not blinking, hardly breathing. Suddenly Yoongi turns in his chair and unceremoniously closes his laptop. He’s up and out to his chair a moment later, and approaching you. Cornering you onto the couch that sits besides his desk. “You think…I would cheat on you? Over something as petty as dinner?” His voice is still that same tone, and you suddenly feel like prey about to get eaten whole by its predator. You’re fucked. Suddenly your knees are weak and you can feel your heart hammering in your chest. Yoongi’s eyes are slits, his brows still in that same pinch from when he was sitting down.

“I get the taking care of myself part. I get you wanted to do something nice for me. But assuming I’m cheating on you because I took home some work? I don’t know how you could think that,” Yoongi says, cool and collected. He’s cornered you so far that you’ve fell onto the couch, on your back, facing him. He climbs on top of you. Lowers his face inches from yours. “I have everything I need laying out in front of me. Why would I ever step out?” He says softly.

You’re speechless, a flush crept onto your cheeks. You can feel his breath fanning over you. He’s looking deep into your eyes, following your head movements to keep the contact going. “Answer me, hm? Why would I do that?” Yoongi leans down to press fleeting kisses into your neck. “I-I don’t know…” You say, meek and shy with your words. You feel like an idiot for ever thinking it. Here is this man, tired, hungry—still proving to you that he loves you no matter what.

“You don’t know and..?” Yoongi replies. He pulls from your neck, resting his lips onto your forehead. “I was silly for thinking it. I-I know you would never do that to me. I’m sorry honey.” Yoongi pecks your forehead, leaning back to look at you. He smiles. “I forgive you. Just—don’t do that to me again, please? I don’t know if my heart can take it.” You nod. “Can I have a kiss?” You ask, shyly looking into his eyes. “Of course my love.”

Note: I’ve never written anything this long! (At least not about yoongi lol) this was going to be short like the rest of my content, but it turned into this.

I hope you enjoy!

#min yoongi #yoongi #suga #boyfriend yoongi #min yoongi x reader #suga fanfic #suga fluff #suga x reader #suga x y/n #suga x you #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #yoongi fluff #min yoongi smut #yoongi smut #I’m scared this won’t do well… #but here goes nothing

[nervoushottee]

Illicit Affairs | Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: You wish you were enough for Steve, but he will always want Nancy. 

Warnings: cheating trope, reader is the other woman, Steve is a cheater, angstttt, very minimal sexual themes, drinking

Note: hey hottees! Back with another Steve fic! Was in the mood for some angsty Steve drama and wrote this in one sitting a few nights ago so there limited editing. Hope you enjoy!

Series Masterlist

(To get into the mood of the story, it helps to listen to Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift while reading)

You wish you could see this part of him more often than you do. You wish that you could do this during the day instead of the middle of night. You lay in his bed, still naked underneath the sheets from the actions a few hours prior. 

Steve sleeps next to you, snoring softly in the middle of the night as you count the many freckles on up his arms and down his back. Tracing your thumb faintly against his bottom lip, feeling the breath against your skin as he sleeps. He looks peaceful, serene and happy as he holds you tighter in his arms. 

It shouldn’t have gone this way, it shouldn’t have gone like this. You shouldn’t be the other woman who sneaks glances and short kisses. You didn’t want these moments only to be seen behind closed doors. 

When Steve kissed you that night during the small bonfire party. You thought that was it, you thought you and Steve were finally going to be something. The constant push and pull between you both. From the King Steve days before Nancy and after her. From your few exes that all turned to regret and dumb decisions. From blind dates to one night stands in the end the two of you always find each other again. 

Steve was there to pick you up when you faked an emergency to get out of shitty dates. You comforted Steve when Nancy broke his heart. He held you in his arms when you got cheated on.  Best friends weren’t even the right term to describe it. You and Steve both knew it was more than that. Hell, even Robin could see it. 

So when everyone had run into Lovers Lake for a tipsy late night swim, you had got out early to warm up by the fire before going home. Steve saw you, gave you his dry sweatshirt and offered to drive you home. You declined but agreed to let him walk you to your car. 

The two of you talk like usual, not so subtly bumping into each other and staying as close as possible against each other as you walk. Steve makes a joke about not getting his precious hair wet when you ask him why he hadn’t gotten in the lake. It makes you laugh and push him away playfully. 

You get to the driver seat of your car and the two of you stand so close to each other. The moon and the stars watch you both in awe of your ¨will they or won't they¨. You could blame it on the one beer you had two hours before. Or the fact that it was getting late and you were pretty tired already. But you know that would be a lie. Something happened that night, something felt different in the air. Maybe it was Steve’s smile, or how he looked down at you with his eyes low. 

You forgot about everything rational and logical as you placed your wet hand on his cheek and kissed him. 

It was a quick ever so soft kiss.  

When you moved away you thought you would feel a pit in your stomach. A sense of regret from that small yet intimate gesture. But there was nothing there. No ounce of fear or embarrassment. And when you saw the small smile grow on Steve’s face, you knew he felt the same thing. 

He kissed you a lot harder. Both of his hands against your cheek as he presses his lips on yours. He tasted of chocolate and smoke. He was warm like the fire as he wraps his hands around your cold waist. The two of you stay that way for a minute or so before separating. With a smile you ask Steve if you’ll see him tomorrow, and instead of response, he simply kisses you again like it’s second nature. 

The drive home felt magical. The windows down, your hair still a bit wet from the lake as you drove home on the empty roads. You were happy and kissing Steve felt right and long overdue. 

You went to sleep that night with a smile on your face and woke up with one the next morning. It grew even wider when you heard the one, two, three knocks on your door. With a small skip in your step you open the door excitedly. That excitement goes away when you see Steve with his head down and his hands in his pockets. He looks up and tries to greet you with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. You try to ask him if he’s okay but he dodges your question and asks if he can come in. Steve’s never forward with you. He comes to your house when he pleases and vice versa. He never needs an invite or a request. Despite the small ounce of worry forming in your stomach, you nod your head and Steve enters.  

He heads to your kitchen and puts both hands on the countertop. His back is towards you and his head leans down. It almost looks like he’s going to be sick with how he looks in front of your sink. 

“Is everything okay?” You ask shyly. 

Steve doesn’t respond immediately, which causes the worry to grow larger and larger with every silent second. Finally to your relief, Steve speaks. 

“After you left last night, Nancy talked to me about some things.” He tells you. His back still turned but his head raised as he looked out your small kitchen window. 

“Yeah?”, urging him to go on. The worry grows fiercely now when you hear “Nancy” leaving his lips.

He finally turns around to you, crossing his arms and leans back against the counter he was just hunching over. Despite seeing him now, his eyes don’t meet yours. He looks at his shoes, your fuzzy socks you wear at home, even the old kitchen tile. “She-uh” he scratches his eyebrow, a small thing he does when he’s nervous and hesitant. 

“What did she ask you out or something?” You say with a small laugh. You try to say it as a joke, but deep down it's a question you ask to finally put the worry to rest. But when Steve finally looks up at you immediately after you ask,  you know that your joke was his reality. Fuck. 

“She said that she wanted to try again. Asked if I wanted to.” Steve tells you softly. 

You try not to scoff at what you hear. Despite your worry and the big wave of heartbreak that’s about to rush over you if you know any better. You can’t help but go into bestfriend mode and get upset about Nancy acting like Steve still doesn’t love her. That he wouldn't sit and roll over if she asked him to. The many years you’ve been friends with Steve, you’ve never seen him love someone has fiercely and wholeheartedly as he does with Nancy. Despite them being apart you know Steve would prefer it a different way. 

You force the anger down your throat  like a large pill and try to keep the many emotions you feel from surfacing.“And what did you say?” You ask him quietly. 

He doesn’t speak again, but he doesn’t have to. His eyes tell you all you need to know. It’s filled with guilt and apologies. Filled with a need to hold you and kiss you all the same.

 “Oh.” you respond. Instinctively,  your arms wrap around your waist as best as they can. In an attempt to comfort yourself. You try to force the tears away as you blink at them harshly. 

“I understand.” You tell him. And you do. You know that you didn’t stand a chance against Nancy Wheeler. She was beautiful, smart, kind and determined. Who wouldn’t want to be with her? You knew if Steve was ever given the option to try again with Nancy. If he was with another girl or guy and she wanted to give it another go, he’d say yes in a heartbeat. So what made you any different?

You didn’t notice that you were  crying until Steve pointed it out, walking to you quickly to wipe them away from your cheek. You should push him away. You should tell him to go to Nancy and that you will be fine. That the kiss from last night was because you were drinking and alcohol made you feel warm and affectionate. But you didn’t, you let him wrap his arms around you and kiss your head repeatedly. You let him tell you soft praises of comfort as he slowly rocks you both, back and forth. And you let him kiss you in the middle of your kitchen. Your lips wet with tears as you hold on fiercely on the bottom of his shirt. 

That was one of the first many nights of his affair with you. Of you being the only woman. There were no rules or decisions made of how it was going to be. The two of you just fell into a rhythm of loving each other quietly. Steve would come to you in the middle of the night with a knock on your door. You would use the key hidden beneath the daisy plant and slip inside his bed next to him. 

Nancy never slept over at Steve’s, he would only spend the night at hers. You don’t know why you had asked the question one night after hours of ecstasy and bliss. The sweat on your skin slowly drying from laying together naked in the sheets. Steve’s fingers tracing up and down against your back when he tells you. “I don’t let Nance in here. We don’t do anything here.”

Meaning he doesn’t have sex with her here. She doesn’t moan his name like you do against his sheets. She doesn’t sleep in the spot you’ve marked as your own in his bed. She doesn’t wake up in the middle of night to use his bathroom or place her toothbrush in the same spot you leave yours. You don’t know if his confession makes you feel better or worse. Because you know it will happen sooner or later. 

And one day, you’ll put an end to this. One day you’ll stop. Because you know it's not fair.  

Not to you or to Steve or even Nancy. But you know the day you tell Steve to choose, that you’re not going to like his answer. You won't be his first choice. You never were. And if you hear him say it, it will all feel too real. You don’t think you’d  have the heart to stay around any of them after that. Your heart is  shattered already and Steve is holding the pieces right in front of you with the glue in his pocket. 

So you tell yourself that you’ll ask him tomorrow. And then tomorrow comes and you put it off for the next day. And the cycle goes on and on and on and on because you only just got Steve.

You’re not ready to let him go just yet, even though he’s not really yours in the first place. 

#steve harrington #steve harrington fic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve stranger things #steve x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington fan fiction #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x you #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington angst #steve angst

[malfoyswand]

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬

pairing: draco malfoy x reader

summary: draco malfoy comforts you about your biggest insecurity.

word count: 1.5k

genre: fluff

warnings: bullying, insecurities, one instance of swearing, a little bit of nudity (but nothing sexual)

author's note: honestly writing this was like free therapy to me. i plan to write and post a part two to this (featuring smut, everybody cheer) in a couple of days too!

➪ masterlist | requests

You couldn't help but let a sigh escape from your lips as you heard the sound of knocking on your door. Truthfully, if you could have it your way, you would be content with not seeing another human being for the rest of the day.

"Can you come back later? I'm trying to sleep." You called out from your bed, pulling your blankets over your head to block out the knocking. Sleep was far from your mind, you only wished to be alone with your sorrow.

The knocking ceased. Just as you thought whoever it was had walked away, you heard the door creak open anyway. It was probably one of your roommates, you hoped they would leave soon enough. 

You felt someone lift up the blankets slightly and lay down next to you in the bed. Turning your head slightly, you saw it was Draco Malfoy. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw him, but the pain in his eyes saddened you further.

"We both know you're not going to sleep yet, (Y/N)." Draco spoke softly, one of his arms wrapping itself around your shoulders. "Now, please tell me what happened out there."

The last thing you wanted to do was talk about that, but you knew your boyfriend deserved some sort of explanation for your sudden behavior. 

The last Saturday of May was always spent with Draco and his group of friends. It was tradition at this point to spend the whole day at the Black Lake, swimming and getting into all sorts of mischief. However, this year was slightly different. Draco Malfoy had finally asked you to be his girlfriend a few months prior.

While it seemed as if everyone else in the group was ecstatic, Pansy Parkinson was not. You had known for a long time that she had developed a crush on Draco, and wasn't too pleased when Draco had turned her down. Ever since, the tension between the girl who used to be your best friend and yourself has been difficult for you to manage. 

Pansy had finally snapped at the Black Lake and told you how she had felt. While you were watching the Slytherin boys play some sort of game near the water, Pansy sat next to you. The conversation started off pleasant, but it quickly turned brutal.

It started off with Pansy complimenting your navy blue bikini, but in the same breath, she mentioned that "it's brave of you to wear something that revealing, considering your marks and all." Her hands touched the stretch marks on your stomach and thighs, giving them a pinch. You felt your breath become trapped in your throat, she knew they were your biggest insecurity. 

Before you could even think, you found yourself running away from the lake, not even noticing Draco was following your footsteps. 

As you told this story to him, you could see him clench his jaw in anger. "That bitch. Does she not realize what she did was cruel? I'm going to have a talk with her tomorrow, and if she continues, let me know. I will fix this, she can’t talk to you like this and get away with it."

"Draco, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to run off like that. Just give me a minute, I'll come back-" Before you could finish the offer, you felt his lips press softly against yours. He pulled away all too soon, resting his forehead on yours. 

"Oh hush, darling. They'll be alright without us, we're staying right here." To further his point, he pulled you into his arms. There was no other place you would rather be trapped. Only then did you realize he was still in his swim trunks, with no shirt. "I need to make sure that you know you are beautiful."

"I-I'm not." It came out as a quiet, defeated whisper as you felt the sobs begin again. Your insecurities were something you never shared with your boyfriend before, you didn't want to burden him any further. 

"Oh.." Draco slightly panicked, not sure exactly what to do. He had never seen you cry before. "No, no. Please don't say that. Pansy couldn't have been more wrong, you look like an angel. Why would you think any different?"

It was hard to speak, between your cries and your voice being muffled from Draco pulling you closer to him. He wiped away each tear that fell, listening intently as you spoke. 

"Because of what she said. I mean, she was right. I have stretch marks all over me, and the bikini only just shows them even more. I don't know what I was thinking! They make me so ugly and it's embarrassing, when no other girl there had them."

One of his hands moved your chin upwards, forcing your eyes to meet his gray ones. "Stop it right there, (Y/N). You are not ugly, and who cares about some marks? You are absolutely perfect in my eyes."

He must have been able to tell that a part of you didn't believe him. You knew he loved you and would never lie to you, he truly did think you were beautiful. But you couldn't bring yourself to think of yourself in that way.

You felt him shift next to you as he sat up, moving the blankets away so he could see you fully. You were still in that cursed bikini, biting your lip as you realized he could now see you in broad daylight. "Draco, what are you doing?"

"Well if you won't believe my words, maybe you'll believe my actions." A small smile spread on his face as his hands gently found themselves roaming down your body, his eyes soaking in every piece of exposed skin he could. You were about to protest to explain that you weren't in the mood for anything his mind might come up with.

"Before you ask, no, I'm not trying to initiate anything else. Would it be okay if I touched your stomach?" It was as if he could read your mind. You were terrified that if Draco touched your stomach and felt the marks that had invaded your skin, he would become disgusted. But at the same time, his touch was comforting. It was something you knew could calm you down. 

With a nod, he grinned and lowered himself down until his eyes were level with your stomach. His fingertips gently caressed down until they reached your lower abdomen. "Merlin, you're beautiful. You belong in a museum of art, my love."

His words made you blush bright red, as your hands covered your face to hide this fact. "Hardly." That was all you could manage to choke out between your embarrassment and the sobs that still begged to break free from your chest.

"Please, look at me." You obeyed, placing your hands at your side once more and looking down to look at Draco. "I'm not kidding around, you are stunning. If anything, these marks make you even more so."

You felt his fingertips gently graze upon each stretch mark, your breath hitching as he did so. His lips replaced them in an instant, as he kissed each mark he could find. Eventually, the path of marks led him to pulling down your bikini bottom very slightly to only kiss the ones on your hips. 

You knew he could feel every slight bump on his lips, the thought of it filled you with shame. His kisses were feather-like, it was as if he was afraid that if he kissed your skin too hard, you would break underneath him. But as you looked at him, he didn't seem to mind.

If anything, Draco Malfoy seemed to adore it. He kept his eyes mostly on yours, but occasionally, he would look down at the stretch marks before him. His kisses were slow, as if he was trying to take his time in memorizing every curve of each mark. His hands gently rubbed the curves of your waist, smiling to himself as he felt your body relax at his touch.

Once he was finally done kissing each mark he could find, you couldn't help but smile at the look of achievement on his face. His eyes seemed to have a glimmer to them, as if he had just won a prize.

"Actually, I take back my statement from before. You're not just something to be put in a museum for people to look at, until they get bored and move along. You deserve something much more permanent, like a sculpture to last the ages."

"What?" A look of confusion spread across your face. What was Malfoy going on about, comparing you to pieces that belonged in some sort of art collection?

"What I mean is," a soft laugh came from Draco's lips as he laid down next to you again, his fingers caressing your jawline this time around. "You should be worshiped, darling. Please never repeat the words you said earlier. Those marks are breathtaking, I could spend eternity kissing them.”

You could feel the tears form in the corner of your eyes, but from joy instead of sorrow. Draco was puzzled, worried that his words may have hurt you unintentionally. You learned your head into the crook of his neck, feeling his hands caress your back. 

“I thought you would hate them, you know?” You managed to whisper into his shirt. He responded by shushing you, his fingertips finding their way through your hair.

“I could never, (Y/N). I’ve never seen anything, or anyone, more beautiful.”

#draco #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #draco malfoy x you #draco x you #draco malfoy x y/n #draco x y/n #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy fanfic #draco fanfic #draco malfoy fic #draco fic #draco malfoy imagine #draco imagine #draco lucius malfoy #draco fluff #draco malfoy fluff

[gretavangroupie]

The Ripe and The Ruin (Chapter 3)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader

Word Count: 19.8k

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Anxiety, Embarrassment, Lying, Sexual Themes, Kissing, Oral M! Receiving, Protected Sex.

Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify

A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS

HER POV

The heat of your breath is fogging up the windows of the van as you drift in and out of a dazy snooze. The morning has already been long, with a wake-up time of 3:30AM to be on the van to the airport by 4:00AM. The flight to Amsterdam from Hamburg was short, only a little over an hour long, thank goodness. However, now all you can think about is getting checked into your hotel room and crashing back out for a couple of hours before you have to wake up again. 

Paul, Wes, and Corri are occupying the seats toward the front of the van, and you’re thankful you can let your head rest on the window in peace. Your AirPods are stuck in your ears with the volume just loud enough that you could hear if one of them spoke to you, but still enough to fully enjoy the music floating through your ears. You don’t even dare listen to the playlist Jake made for you, it almost puts a sour taste in your mouth just looking at it, especially after what happened last night. 

Of course Josh caught you. Of course it had to be him. But what is really still throwing you for a loop is why Josh felt he had to keep the encounter such a secret, locking his lips and doing away with the key. 

Jake hadn’t said anything about your last addition of ‘High and Dry’, but you chalked it up to him just wanting to diffuse the situation after you left the bar, alone. You thought he might walk you back, given the situation you’d found yourself in just two nights prior, but he didn’t. He stayed, and let you go. And thankfully you’d made it back safely by yourself. 

The more you think about it, the more you realize Jake had plenty of time to text a quick ‘Sorry about that’ or ‘We’ll talk tomorrow, goodnight…’ but he didn’t. Again. Just left you….high and dry. And what made it even worse was that as you were trying to fall asleep in your hotel room last night, you heard the faint sound of the song playing out in the hallway. Jake was coming back to his room, listening to the song you added for him as he meandered closer and closer. But instead of a knock on your door, all you heard was the latch of his closing. 

You find yourself feeling a little pissed off, because the moment you shared in the dark bathroom really felt like something. It was…very fucking hot, if you’re being honest. He felt good. He felt strong, and sturdy, but also gentle and delicate when he needed to be. You can almost still feel how he felt between your legs, pressed up against you as you sat on the edge of the sink. His hands on your back, mouth on your neck, fingertips digging into your thighs….

“Y/N! Let’s get out of here!” You hear Corri’s brash voice wake you from your rated-R daydream, and you have to blink a few times to get the image of Jake all over you out of your head. You stretch a little and pull the music from your ears as the cab light comes on, and the four of you exit the van. You check into your far too luxurious hotel room, and crash onto the bed without even bothering to change your clothes. 

—

Your alarm startles you two hours later, and surprisingly the cat nap has you feeling extremely refreshed. You jump from the bed and pull the curtains on the window, showing you the scene of a cloudy Amsterdam from your fourth-story room. You can feel the cold air moving through the window, and you know it’s going to be another bitterly chilly day. 

After a quick rinse-shower, you sit back on the bed to check your phone and emails and see you have a text from an unknown number from just ten minutes ago.

Unknown

9:02AM: Hey! We’re going to go see the city and walk around a little, you want to go?

You deduce that it is probably Mia or Lyla, and you contemplate on whether or not you want to even move from your bed today. But after a little thought, and another glance to the sun barely peeking through the clouds, you decide, why the hell not. You don’t want to see Jake, really, but the regret you’d feel for not seeing Amsterdam while you’re here would probably be worse. You send up a quick prayer that Josh will keep your secret today, and not make things any more awkward than they already are. 

You

9:04AM: Hey, sure! I’d love to 😊

Unknown

9:05AM: Cool! We’re leaving in an hour, we’ll meet up in the lobby. Dress warm!

9:05AM: This is Lyla, btw

You

9:06AM: Sounds great, see you in a bit

You lock your phone and stand up to finish getting dressed, adding on a few more layers to your already warm attire. Your stomach churns with nerves, but you’re excited to see the city and maybe get to know the girls a little better. Plus, Ruth is begging you for photos. 

Speaking of Ruth…

You grab your phone and pull it from the charging cord, bringing up her contact for a FaceTime call. It rings out, and you press your eyeball directly to the front camera lens.

“Shit, what the hell, cyclops!” She yells as you pull away snickering. 

“Why is it so dark in your room?” you ask, realizing you hadn’t even thought about the time difference. 

“Because it’s two o’clock in the fuckin’ morning here, dimwit! I answered because you scared me. Are you okay?” she spouts off with her voice cracking from sleep. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. Yes, I’m fine,” you laugh a little as she rubs her eyes in the light of her phone screen. “I’m in Amsterdam, thought I’d give you a rundown but, you need to go back to sleep,” you say. 

“Ugh, if I didn’t have to wake up in three hours for work I would disagree with you. Yeah, just text me. Actually no, that will take too long. Send voice memos. Or a video or something.”

You take a quick breath. “I have a lot to tell you, Ruthie.”

“Fuck, seriously? Damn it, just…send something I don’t care. I gotta know. Is it bad news? It’s good news, right?” she goes on.

You roll your eyes a bit as you place your fingers over your mouth. “It’s…a lot. Good and, well not the best. Go back to sleep. I love you.”

“Kay nighty night.” Her last words were said with her eyes closed, and you know for a fact she’s already drifted back off into her slumber. 

You plop onto your bed and scroll social media for a few minutes as you try to kill time, feeling your stomach start to growl and grumble against the mattress below you. 

Maybe you should you add a song? 

No… You’d be seeing Jake in the next little bit, and you were the last one to make contact. This is up to him, if he even wants to. You stand and grab up your long, heavy coat, making sure you have everything you need for the day before taking off to the lobby to grab a quick breakfast and wait on everyone else. 

—

JAKE POV

The music swirling through the steamy air comes to a close as you spin the handle on the shower faucet, the water slowly trickling to a stop. The song she sent last night has been stuck in your head since you hung up with Isla, and you have let it be the soundtrack to your life in the hours since. You spent nearly the entire shower thinking about Y/N, listening along to the track and letting it seep into your bones. You thought about her, and only her for the past few days now. How you left her last night, and how you have yet to speak to her since. Even the plane ride this morning was spent in silence. You knew you needed to answer her song, say something to explain yourself. You were going to, you just had to figure it out, and now that you had time to sit down and think about it, uninterrupted, you would. 

Get out, dry off, get dressed and answer her. You had a plan, and you were sticking to it. 

You step out of the large walk in shower, wrapping the fluffy white towel around your waist. You take a second to look at your surroundings, remembering how only a few years ago you were all bringing towels from home, feeling lucky enough to shower in a rundown Motel 6 bathroom in the middle of nowhere. Your life had changed drastically in a matter of years, and it wasn’t long into that success when you first met Isla. 

She was a vision of auburn hair as she swept through the bar that night, so light and so carefree. You could see why Lyla and Sam had befriended her, her personality very much the same as theirs. It wasn’t long after that night that the two of you started seeing each other, things quickly becoming serious. A year later she moved into your house. It was like she was always there, making the space her own and sharing her days with you. She was with you as the band really started to make moves, never once complaining about the late nights or the long stretches of tour, that is, until she did. 

Things started to change last summer. The once light and vibrant girl you fell in love with had become catty and accusatory, her light burning out and her desire to be something other than your girlfriend dwindling away to nothing. It became her, consumed her, and suddenly you became an accessory instead of a partner. Nothing seemed to satisfy her anymore, and the time you could give her was never enough. She reminded you of that, often, as if there was anything you could do to change it. You fought like cats and dogs on any given day, each argument always ending in a band-aid resolution that never got you anywhere. 

There were the big ones, the ones that would have you on the couch at Josh’s or in the guest room at Sam’s. The ones they didn’t ask about because they knew better, instead opening their homes and lending their liquor cabinet. The ones that you didn’t dare mention, even months after the fact, for fear of starting it all over again. Those fights started to get closer and closer together, until you found yourself almost needing to chip in for your brothers’ mortgage payments.

You knew it was done. You knew it was over, but the problem wasn’t that you couldn’t do it. No, the problem was that every time you would try, it wouldn’t stick. Listening to her tell you that your reasons were never good enough, or that it would be too hard to end things before you left. It was always before you left, and this time was no different. 

Your phone buzzing on the bathroom counter snaps you back to reality, watching as it slowly inches its way closer and closer to the edge. You snatch it up as your hair drips down your back, sliding your finger across the glass as you scoff at the name on the Caller ID.

“Hello, Josh.”

“Oh, so they didn’t invite you either? Assholes…” he grumbles under his breath. 

“Invite me where? Who?” you ask, making your way back into the room.

“Sam and Daniel, and the girls I guess…” he pauses, “Just checked their location to see if they wanted to get brunch and they fucked off into town without us. Not even an invite.” 

“Really?” you ask, pulling your phone away from your ear to check your texts. “Shit, yeah, I didn’t get a text from them either. Though, I did tell them I was gonna catch a few more hours of sleep when we got here. Can’t you just go with Ty?” You groan, knowing you really planned to stay in your room all day and binge watch Criminal Minds.

“No. He went for a massage a little while ago, so now you have to go with me,” he says matter of factly. 

“Do I? I don’t think I do, actually.”

“No, you do, it’s in the rule book,” he answers, an air of playfulness in his voice. 

“The rule book…Don’t think I got one of those,” you joke, pulling on a pair of boxers. 

“Yeah, they give it to the head twin, you know, the first one out,” he laughs. “I’m in charge, the book says so, and I say brunch with a Mimosa. If you’re good I’ll even get you a Bloody Mary, my treat. Meet me downstairs in like fifteen,” he says, ending the call before you even have a chance to decline. Fucker, he knew you too well. 

You quickly dress yourself, checking your phone no less than five times just to see if maybe she had said something, but still there is silence. Your plan has officially gone to shit, no surprise there. You promised yourself you’d do it when you got back. No excuses. You huff out a sigh as you spray your cologne, grabbing your wallet and your phone and shoving them into your coat pocket. You make your way downstairs to meet Josh, finding him lounging in a wingback chair nearly double his size. 

“Let’s go before I change my mind,” you offer, watching him spring out of the chair, his white Nike’s scuffing loudly against the marble tiles. 

“Did you text Dean?” you ask, pushing open the glass doors. 

“Yeah, the place I want to go is just a block away, said to call him if we need him but keep our wits about us. Told him I would, but can’t speak for you since you don’t have any.”

You stop walking and start to turn around, definitely not in the headspace for his antics today. He stops too, and you feel him grab your arm and sling you back in the right direction. 

“Alright, alright, sheesh, no games today, got it,” he says, feigning guilt. 

You walk in silence the rest of the way, ducking into a little cafe with a heated patio. You felt like you hadn’t seen the sun in days and both of you quickly agree that the patio might be your only chance. 

Your eyes scan the menu, looking for any words that seem familiar to you. You’re about half way through it when Josh pulls your menu down and looks you in the eye. You know what he wants, and you know you have to tell him, but you need a drink first, at the very minimum. 

Saved by the bell your waiter comes to your table, taking your drink orders and rushing off before you could blink. 

As expected the grilling starts, and much to your dismay you are alone on the patio with no chance of anyone hearing the two of you bicker.

“Alright Jake, I let you sleep on it. Time to talk,” he starts, crossing his arms over his chest. 

You rub your hand over your face, truly not knowing where to begin. You let out a sigh, and he seems to pick up on your inner turmoil. 

“Start wherever, but I would probably choose the beginning.”

You move your fingers to your lips, looking at him with challenging eyes “What is it exactly that you want to know, Josh? I mean–”

“Cut the shit, Jake. What is going on? I want everything, top to bottom, now,” he snaps, aggression present in his tone. 

“You’re mad for no fuckin’ reason, Josh!”

“No, I’m mad for great reason, Jake! You’re out here fucking around with our runner, two days into the tour mind you, while your girlfriend is back in Nashville living in your home!” he seethes, his fists clenched tightly on top of the white tablecloth. 

Your blood is boiling as he finishes his tirade. “Knock it the fuck off, you know damn good and well she is not my girlfriend anymore!”

“Do I? Do I, Jake? Last I heard, you were ‘easing off for a little bit’...” he replies, gesturing air quotes.

“Do you honestly think that I would have been living in your house for the last month if we were ‘just ‘easing off’? You retort, gesturing the same air quotes. 

Josh sits back in his chair a little, his aggression backing off just a little bit, enough for you to keep talking. “Explain.”

You blow out a breath of frustration, “She doesn’t get it, Josh. I can’t seem to get it through her head.”

“What?”

You bite your lips together before you answer, “I have tried to end things no less than five times in the last few months. There’s always some reason… Always something that…Fuck, I don’t know. It just never sticks. She won’t hear it,” you pause, “I was serious this time though, Josh. I told her point blank, I do not want to be together anymore. It was like I was speaking fucking Latin, she refused to hear me. We were up the entire night arguing, man. It’s… It’s just so done, and I’m the only one who can see it apparently.”

“So if she won’t accept it, you’re still technically together, though? She’s still in the house?” he asks, rubbing his fingers over his beard. 

“Yeah, I mean, I guess? But also, No? The only way I could get the fuck out of that house in time to make it on the plane, was by agreeing to a ‘break’. But it’s not a break. I’m done, she knows I’m done. Told her she could still live in the house for a bit until she found her own place, but I told her, point blank, we needed to separate. No contact. You can see how that is going for her.”

“Does she know that you are…you know, seeing other people?” he asks, a bit of hesitancy in his voice. 

“Am I supposed to care? We aren’t together!” you argue. 

“But you kind of are Jacob!” he spits, “Look, I’m not trying to like, take her side here or whatever, but if she is under the impression you two are only on a break, I highly doubt she would be okay with you seeing other people. You’ll be labeled a cheater and god knows what else if she catches wind.”

“This is the messiest shit I have ever been a part of. I swear to god…” you groan, rubbing your hand over your face. “I seriously never thought I would find myself going through something like this.”

His brows pinch together in confusion, “So why didn’t you just say straight up, I want to separate, please move out of my home?”

“I mean, I kind of did, I think. It’s so much more complicated when you’ve been together as long as we have. We’ve had the exact same argument hundreds of times, that’s no exaggeration. She lives with me, man… I can’t just expect her to move out overnight, ya know? Which is why I agreed to the break. To give her time to…Get her shit together, I guess. But she knows I’m out. She has to know.”

“But she is still calling and texting you daily?” he asks. 

“All fucking day everyday. I never reply, and she still continues. As if– as if nothing ever happened. Like I said, she is just not getting it,” you explain. “Every time I would come stay at your place, she would just… come up with some reason, or some excuse to get me to come home for a few nights. We would just bandaid the problem, until it just exploded again and I’d end up back at your house or at Sam’s. But I had to be careful at Sam’s because Lyla is her best fuckin’ friend. You’d think she would have caught the drift after so many nights of me crashing there that things weren’t good. I don’t know, I hate this shit, I have suffered long enough. I want out. And I fear that when we get home, I might have to take more drastic measures. And I don’t want that shit, either.”

“So things are a lot worse than you initially led on…” he states, shaking his head as he sips from his glass. 

“Yeah, I guess so. Shit’s embarrassing, man. It’s rocky as hell and I don’t know what to do. I obviously still care for her as a person, but I just can’t do this with her anymore. I thought this time and space away from each other would help me get my head right and find a way to sort this shit out, but it seems like it’s only gotten worse and even more complicated since even a month ago, before we ever even left,” you continue. 

“And now there’s Y/N…” he grimaces, truly starting to understand your predicament. “I mean, it’s really only been, what, two days?”

You let out a sigh and shake your head, “Yeah, yeah. But I can honestly say that I have felt more in the last two days for Y/N than I have felt for Isla in the last year.”

“Do you think maybe… She’s…just a distraction from your real feelings? Like a space filler type of thing while you figure out shit with Isla?” he asks, broaching the subject very gently. “To be fair, I don’t blame you at all, she’s really gorgeous and a lovely girl from the little I’ve talked to her.”

“I know it looks that way, trust me. I do. But, no… It’s something else. I know it's only been two days, but there is something there, and I have to explore it,” you admit. “Like I said, I feel things I haven’t felt in so long. Not just physical things, either. And yeah, I know she works for us, and shit, but I– It was about two minutes into that plane ride that I knew it didn’t matter. I had to get to know her.”

“Answer me this, do you still love Isla?” he asks, leaning his elbows onto the table as he gives you that horribly painful twin stare that you both can only give to one another. The kind that pulls the truth from you no matter how badly you might not want to admit it. 

“I mean, I love her as a person, but no, I haven’t been in love with her in some time,” you confess. 

“In your mind is there any chance of reconciliation?” 

Your mind flashes through a hundred scenes of screaming fights, thrown objects, tears and accusations, “No. Not anymore,” you pause, rubbing your lips. “A week ago if you asked me that, I might have said maybe. It would be so easy to fall back into the good routine we had, everything would be good again for a little while at least, but it would change and we would be back to where we are now. Endless fuckin’ cycle. I can’t do that my whole life, Josh. I don’t deserve that. I was so excited about this leg of tour, just because she wasn’t coming. I could be alone and not go to bed mad and arguing every night. Do you know how fucked that is? That is not how I should feel about the person I am supposedly in love with. I should want her here, and I just don’t.”

He nods his head in agreement, sucking his teeth with a hiss. 

“Two days with Y/N has proven to me just how unhappy I am in that relationship with Isla. How much I’m just…not in love with her anymore. It only confirms my decision,” you admit. 

“So she’s calling and stuff to try and keep you strung along… So that you’ll come home and pick right back up on this nasty cycle the two of you are in…” he questions. 

“Basically. Which is why I refuse to engage with it. She can text all she wants, I’m not answering her,” you snap. “Things aren’t black and white for her, they are very gray and for me they are stark white. I don’t know how to make it more clear.”

He drops his head and looks up at you as he leans on his elbows again, “Look, I’m sorry. I had no idea. I won’t say anything to anyone about last night, or whatever is going on with you and Y/N. I want you to be happy, and I can tell you haven’t been in a long time. I’m just really sorry I was such an ass. I wish you would have talked to me, you know, like we used to.”

“I know, I know. It’s my own pride that stopped me. I just, I feel like I'm on the precipice of being happy again, I just have to keep following it, even if it looks really bad from the outside,” you pause, “Also, you guys have to stop picking on her, she is innocent in all of this. She already thinks you guys don’t like her.”

“Oh, that's just not true, we all like her a lot, you have to tell her we don’t mean it,” he laughs, tilting his head to the side as he tosses back the rest of his mimosa. “Wait, does she know about Isla?”

“No, absolutely not,” you answer a little too quickly. 

“Are you… planning on telling her?” 

“Honestly, I haven’t really thought that far ahead, I mean, I know I need to. I wasn’t really planning on Isla blowing my phone up day and night. Guess I should have known better, huh?” you laugh, offering him a small smile. 

“You need to tell her, Jake. Don’t fuck it up before you even get things started,” he offers. 

“Don’t you know that’s my specialty?” you ask, sipping your spicy bloody mary. “I mean, last night is a whole other problem. When you saw us out there I had every intention of leaving that bar with her and taking her back to the hotel. It was all I could think about. But then you were out there with my phone and the shit with Isla. Fuck…I panicked. I just sent her back to the hotel. Left her out to dry like a fucking prick. Haven’t spoken to her since. She probably wants nothing to do with me at this point.”

“No, no I doubt that. She’s probably a little hurt, maybe a little confused, but I think she will come around. I saw the way she was looking at you last night,” he smiles. “But Jake, seriously. You have to tell her about Isla.”

“God, I know it just, why would I even be thinking about Isla when I’m with her? I swear it’s like none of it exists when we are with each other. Everything is easy.”

“Sounds like you found yourself someone special,” he smiles. 

“I think you’re right.”

—

HER POV

The morning had been spent walking up and down the streets of Amsterdam, getting lost and finding your way again over and over as you navigated the map app on Danny’s phone. To your surprise, Jake and Josh hadn’t joined you. Just you, Sam, Danny, Lyla and Mia. It felt a little strange at first, and you felt the fifth-wheel anxiety hit you hard as you trailed behind them, the two couples happy and holding hands as you all explored. But luckily, at the last second, Dean joined you on the excursion, insisting that five of you needed an escort. 

You’d taken the time to speak to Dean and get to know him a little; he’s a big burly man with cheeks that stay red and a beard and mustache that hide his mouth. He’s middle aged, and a man of few words, but you were determined to break through his exterior just a little bit, seeing as how he is one of your coworkers. 

Now, as you all are heading back to the hotel with your arms full of various shopping bags and leftover food cart goodies, the conversation you’d worked so hard to start up with Dean is flowing freely. The two of you converse about the job, about travel, about where each of you are from and how you got hooked up with these crazy four. He’s fairly easy to talk to, and you find yourself very calm in his presence. 

“I heard about what went down at the restaurant the other night, Ms. Y/N. I’m so sorry that happened to you,” he admits as you watch Lyla and Mia pull the guys into a tiny boutique.

“Oh, no need to apologize,” you respond, a little surprised, “It was no big deal, really. I made a stupid mistake by going out alone that late, I learned my lesson. Just glad Jake was able to come help me out.”

“Still, it’s one of my responsibilities to make sure everyone is safe. Mr. Jacob made it very clear that you’re on that list, too.” He pulls his phone from his pocket and pushes a few buttons before speaking again. “I’m gonna get your number right now, so you never find yourself in a situation like that again.” You nod as you agree, knowing that you should have had his number saved a long time ago. You switch phones with him as you each enter your respective numbers, and he smiles as he locks his, pushing it back into the pocket of his coat. It hits you that Jake must have had a conversation with him.

“We’ve got more security coming, I’m sure you’ve heard. They should be here within the next few days. This is usually a one man job, but… I guess as the band gets more and more popular, these kinds of things just need to naturally grow along with them,” he explains, keeping his head on a swivel as he eyes each of them inside the store. “Turns into a team effort.”

You nod, pushing your windblown hair behind your ear before shoving your freezing hand back in your pocket. “I did hear about that. Bet it brings everyone peace of mind having more hands on deck, especially you,” you offer.

“Mmhm,” he replies, “Most definitely. I’ve met these guys before, think everybody will like them. Real straightforward outfit. I’m their head of security, but with the way this group operates, they’re probably gonna be calling most of the shots, if not all of them.” He sucks his teeth, and you can’t tell if he’s irked or maybe, a little bit relieved to have the help. 

“You gonna be alright with that?” you press, hoping you’re not stepping on his toes. 

He shrugs one shoulder, and you can see his eyes darting around behind his sunglasses. “I’m only one guy, Ms. Y/N.” His response is blunt, so you decide to leave it at that. 

You take a second to browse the boutique, meeting up again with Lyla and Mia and gushing over sweaters and dresses that none of you could ever afford, and for the first time in two days, you’d gone more than half an hour without thinking about Jake. As soon as the memory of him and what happened last night flows back into your brain, you almost double over with a strange anxiety. You pull out your phone again, checking to see if he has texted at all, or added anything to the playlist, but you’re met with nothing. Nothing.

“Let’s go get a drink or something!” Mia finally suggests to the group as you congregate in front of the store on the sidewalk, and everyone agrees. “Danny baby, pull up somewhere to go.”

“Let’s just take off walking again, we passed like fifty pubs on the way here,” he argues, bursting through the group and walking down the sidewalk again. The tension feels like it has dissipated for the most part; you have to admit that at first you were still a little worried that things might be a little strange between all of you. But as soon as you all got a couple of drinks in you, the anxiety melts away, and you find yourself laughing along and fitting right in with them. The girls are really cool, and Danny and Sam together keep the conversation going with ease.

An hour or so later, you’re unlocking your hotel door and stripping the layers of clothing off as you now have gotten a little sweaty from the heat mixed with the alcohol. The sun had popped out a little, only adding to your need for a giant bottle of water, and to relax across your bed. As you scroll social media and flick through TV channels in languages you can’t understand, you find your mind drifting back to Jake again. At this point, you know he isn’t going to text. He isn’t going to call, he isn’t going to add another song. If he was going to, he would have by now. You swallow down the realization, flipping to your back to push a pillow over your face. You think about calling Ruth, but at the same time, you hardly even feel like talking about it. 

Just as you're about to scream into the void, you hear a knock at your door. Who in the world? You stand up and adjust your clothing and hair, expecting Corri or Paul to be delivering you some information in person. You unlatch the deadbolt and swing the door open, finding none other than Jake leaning with one hand on your door frame, and the other gripping a single deep burgundy flower. 

“Hey…” he mumbles, biting his lip. 

“Hey, sorry, I wasn’t expecting you…” you fumble over your words, not only because you hadn’t spoken all day, but because he looked so overwhelmingly delicious standing there effortlessly dripping sex in your doorway that you almost catch yourself drooling. Loose, dark slacks, a black button up revealing his chest, his hair freshly washed and still damp around the roots… His skin is still glowing from the heat of his shower, and you can smell his body wash mixed in with that damn cologne he apparently carries with him everywhere. Your eyes flick to the flower hanging loosely from his fingertips before meeting his eyes again.

“I know, I should have called first, ‘m sorry…” he stumbles, pulling his hand from his pocket and swiping it across his nose. 

“No no, it’s fine, um… did you need… you wanna come inside?” you weren’t quite sure what to offer at this point; he wouldn’t have shown up if he didn’t want to talk.

He stands up straight now, smoothing his hands over his shirt and then placing them both in his pockets. “No, actually, I came by to see if you would want to go on a walk with me,” he asks, a shyness in his tone that feels new to you. “And to bring you this.”

He extends his hand, offering you the dark red flower, multi petaled and fragrant. “Saw it earlier at a flower stand and I…I don’t know, I thought of you. Thought you should have it.”

You accept it from his fingers, bringing it to your nose to take in its earthy smell, “It’s beautiful, what is it?”

“It’s a Dahlia, I believe. The vendor said it was a Black Dahlia, but it looks dark red to me. I don’t know, I just thought it was pretty. Thought of you.” he smiles nervously. You stare at him as you twist the flower under your nose and think about his question. 

“So, a walk?” you reiterate, finding the idea both exhausting and appealing, seeing as how you had just gotten back from an extremely lengthy one with everyone else. “I really should stay in tonight, I… dunno…”

“Please?” he asks, squinting his eyes. “Just a short one, we don’t have to go far. I just– I saw something cool today, and I thought you might like to see it, too. Wanna show you…”

You huff a little as you lean your head on the edge of the open door. His eyes are pleading, and you can tell there’s more to his little plan than simply showing you something.

Maybe he wants to talk. Maybe he wants to explain things… sort it all out…

“Okay. We can go. But, I have to get dressed first,” you say, already dreading putting all those layers back on, but not feeling so bad about it because now you’ll be with him. You feel a little reluctant, the pissed-off feeling you’d had all day still lying heavily present in your mind. But, he’s making an effort, at least…

“Take your time. I’m just a floor up, 507,” he starts to back away, the tiniest satisfied grin forming on his face. His eyes travel up and down your body so fast you almost miss it. “Just come knock when you’re ready.” 

You close the door as he rounds the corner to the elevator, and you can’t help but feel that rush of nerves fly up your body again. He didn’t call, he didn’t text, he came to your door. With a flower. God, what a gentleman. You place the flower on the dresser, your heart pounding at the sweet gesture. You rush into the bathroom to freshen everything up and spruce your tangled hair, brushing some powder across your face and adding a little more mascara. You re-apply your favorite perfume to your wrists and neck, taking a little extra time to make sure you looked presentable in the full-length mirror on the wall. 

When you feel as if your appearance is as good as it's gonna get, you sit on your bed, wanting to make Jake wait for you just a little bit longer. You go ahead and pull up a facetime call with Ruth, waiting for the tone to ring out. 

The screen opens with Ruth holding up one finger, mouthing for you to hang on as she finishes out what looks to be a very annoying phone call with a client. She spins in her chair as she rolls her eyes, letting her head look at the ceiling as she uses her formal, professional voice to end the call.

“...You have an excellent day, ma’am. Mhm. Thank you, Buh-bye,” she presses a button on her phone and rips her headset off, fumbling for her airpods as she picks up her phone. “Oh my GOD today has been insane and I hate everything,” she complains as you watch the screen fill up with her face, and you hear the sound of her acrylic nails tapping all over her screen. You patiently wait, watching her loudly chew her gum, knowing that she has to clear away her notifications before she can even begin to have an uninterrupted conversation with you. “Okay I’m ready what the fuck has happened?!” 

You laugh, giving her the rundown of everything that happened since you last spoke, her facial expressions letting you know she is hanging on your every word. “...And now, he just showed up at my fucking door, and asked me on a date, I guess? After basically dry humping me in the bathroom then sending me home without another word,” you finish, whispering your words as if he could hear you. “I dunno, Ruth. Should I even go?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Yes you should go. Give him a chance to explain, at least. He wouldn’t have shown up to your door if he didn’t really want you to come, ya know?” she says, immediately noticing her word choice, and slyly smiling as she bounced her eyebrows.  

“Shut the fuck up. Ugh, yeah, you’re right. Does this outfit look okay?” you stand back and flip the camera around showing her yourself in the mirror. 

“Slayyyyyyyy that jacket is hot, where on earth did you even get it?!” she rolls her eyes. 

“From you. For my birthday. When you found out I was going to a colder climate,” you laugh. “Okay, I'm gonna go, I guess. I’ll text you later.”

“Live updates, please. I want to know the way this man ticks,” she teases.

“Shut up. Bye.” You end the call and grab your purse, making sure your room key is in your bag. You also make sure to grab the jacket Jake sent you home in last night, not able to bear another second staring at it draped across the back of the chair. 

—

“Thought you might want this back,” you say when Jake opens the door, taking the coat from your outstretched hand.

He smirks as he takes it, tossing it behind him to land on some unknown surface. “Looks better on you, but it’s one of only three jackets I brought with me.” You both laugh a little as you make your way down the hall and to the elevator. The whole ride down is silent, with both of you standing at opposite sides, more or less feeling no shame in drinking the other in. His arms and ankles are crossed as the elevator descends, and you can feel his eyes boring into you. 

“You look really nice today,” he offers as you exit the lobby and head back out into the freezing cold air. 

“Thank you,” you reply shyly, feeling the blush creep to your cheeks. “So do you…” you wanted to gush about how perfectly his hair is sitting around his face, how his shirt and jacket are hanging across his shoulders, how poised he just always seems to be without even trying… but you don’t. You hope to god you don’t run into any of his brothers, or anyone that you work with; coming up with an explanation why the two of you are out alone together again is something you truly don’t feel like dealing with right now. “So where are we going?”

“It’s called The Jordaan. It’s a really old neighborhood, with a canal going through the center. Bunch of little shops and stuff. Did you guys walk this way this morning?” you notice the lilt in his voice. 

You shake your head. “No, we went the opposite way,” you answer. It’s quiet for just a minute more as you pass by the crowds and other people on the streets. “Why didn’t you and Josh come along?”

He takes a quick breath. “Eh, we didn’t really receive an invite, honestly,” he laughs, stroking his fingers over his mustache. “Had to be Lyla or Mia’s idea to go, if I had to guess.” He was right, but you still felt bad. “But it was okay, me and Josh went to eat and got to… talk a little without the interruption of the other two. Kinda rare these days,” he smiles, and his knuckles brush across yours just barely. The light touch sends your bloodstream to a raging fire, and you have to stifle down the pull to grab his hand altogether. 

The sun is peeking through the heavy cloud cover of the evening, and you find yourself staring at the way Jake’s pulled his sunglasses to sit on top of his head, letting the gleam of the sunlight bounce into his mocha colored irises. He looks you in the eye each and every time he speaks, and commands your complete attention away from everything else around you. You’re pulled into him, letting your bodies barely touch and move together as you walk along. This attraction feels different than the heated, blurry, intense pull you had to one another last night. This feels innocent, even though you both know that it’s anything but. 

You turn a corner as you come along to the long line of homes and buildings, multicolored and old in their exteriors but, still holding just the right amount of charm to be an attraction. You catch yourself looking above to see the craftsmanship of them. “Wow…” you exclaim quietly as you peer up at the finely detailed architecture, staring in awe at the shape they are still in. You pull your phone from your pocket and start to take photos, zooming in on the details and making a mental note to send them straight to Ruth later. 

You walk up onto a little footbridge lined with parked bikes and people stopped to take photos. Suddenly Jake is behind you, barely resting his chin on your shoulder. “Gimme your phone, let me take your picture,” he murmurs in your ear. 

“Oh no, that’s okay…” Before the words can even escape your lips, he’s snatched your phone and started backing up, glancing behind him and back to your phone every few seconds. 

“You’re really good at taking my phone away and doing whatever you want with it, you know!” you yell at him in aggravation. 

He motions his free hand for you to scoot sideways, and then again for you to stop where you are. He snaps a few, turning the phone on its side to get every angle he can. You stand a bit awkwardly, hating that people are having to stop when they notice they are walking in line of the photo. Finally he finishes and rushes back over to you. “They look good! See?” he says, handing your phone back and swiping through them with you. “Now you’ll have record.”

You walk past a few secondhand shops and stores, and suddenly, something in one of the windows catches your eye. “Oh my god, look at that!” you squeal, pointing to a glimmering red dress sitting perfectly on a mannequin. It isn’t like any dress you’d seen before; it looks vintage, bright cherry red velvet with sewn-in sequins weaved throughout. It’s tight, but not too tight, and short and lacking fabric in all the right places. 

“Damn, you should go try it on!” Jake exclaims, obviously agreeing with your surprise at how pretty it is. 

“Nah, I shouldn’t…” you say, walking away from the window. 

“No, you should, actually. That dress is hot, Y/N,” he says, elbowing you in the ribs. “And I think you’d make it a hundred times hotter.”

You scoff. “Be quiet, no I would not.”

“Prove me wrong, then,” he challenges with a smirk, opening the door to the shop, and holding his hand out to invite you inside. 

You step inside, and are immediately greeted by a man dressed in a formal tuxedo. He notices that you are not local during his greeting, and switches to rough English.

“Eyeballing the red number, are you madam? Give me one second, I’ll grab it off the mannequin for you,” you and Jake lock eyes as the man flits away, straight for the window. He raises his eyebrows in anticipation and gives you a grin so adorable you almost melt into putty right there in the store. 

“Here you are ma’am, please, be careful, very old dress,” he explains, handing you the dress on a hanger and opening a curtain for you to go behind. 

“Go ahead,” Jake mouths, pushing you into the small dressing room. 

You stand almost naked in front of the mirror as you slip the soft, tight fabric over your thighs, your stomach, and finally over your shoulders. Jake was right, it fits you perfectly. The velvet material snatches your waist and bust, and cuts right above your knee. Its sequins shimmer in the overhead light, but aren’t so overwhelming that it looks showy. It’s something you could dress up, or dress down. You reach behind you and pull the zipper up only halfway. Of course.

You take a deep breath and pull the curtain back, finding Jake to have taken a seat on a plush maroon ottoman. His jaw drops as you walk toward him, and yet again, you feel the heat rise in your face. You continue walking toward him, turning at the last second with your back to him, pulling your hair to the side. “Finish doing me up?” you say, immediately realizing that could be taken in a way you didn’t really mean. But also kind of mean, if you’re being honest. 

You hear him swallow and he stands, and feel his warm hand slowly grip the zipper and pull it up, his other hand resting gently on the back of your hip, this thumb barely squeezing at the muscle. He takes his time, moving the zipper at the slowest pace imaginable. “Everything alright back there?” you whisper over your shoulder, hearing your own voice tremble. 

You hear the air push from his nose as he leans in a little closer. “Just taking my time… might be the only time I get to touch you this way…”

Your eyelids flutter closed at his words. You lick your lips, trying to calm your second heartbeat. “What makes you think this will be the only time?”

He finishes the zip, spinning you to turn and face him. He shrugs one shoulder. “Just don’t wanna get my hopes up,” he growls. “Take that as a compliment…if you wear that out in public, I wouldn’t stand a chance against the hordes of guys that would be following you around.”

You scoff at him, and the absolute absurdity of his statement. He has no idea how pretty he is, does he?

“Shh. That’s a lie,” you say as you turn back and motion for him to unzip you. He does, this time with a little more haste. You make your way back into the dressing room and switch back into your clothing, hanging the beautiful specimen back on the hanger the man had provided you with. 

“What? You’re not getting it?!” Jake stands as you make your way back toward the employee.

“No, Jake! I can’t buy that! It’s too–”

“Perfect? Because you looked… I–I can’t even explain… You have to get it, Y/N,” he argues.

You hand the dress back to the man in the suit. “No. I wouldn’t even have anywhere to wear something like that…” you go on, internally screaming at how badly you really would like to have it. 

“Let me get it for you, then,” Jake says. “It’s not even that expensive…”

“NO!” you squeal. “I mean, no thank you. Please, Jake. It’s completely fine,” you say as you begin to walk toward the exit. You simply could not let him buy this for you. No. Huh-uh. Absolutely the hell not. 

He reluctantly follows you out of the store, still playfully going on and on about how you just made a huge mistake. You turn and face him, your face only inches from his. You grab both of his hands in yours, snickering a little at the surprised look on his face. “Jake, I appreciate the compliments, but I’d really like to get on with our date, now.”

JAKE POV

Her words send a shockwave through your system. “Date? So it’s a date now?” you ask, your hands cupped in hers as he looks you in the eyes. 

She turns and begins walking again, and you have to physically tell yourself to move your legs and follow along. “You came to my door, asked me to go on a walk because you wanted to show me a certain specific special thing… now we’re exploring and talking and trying on dresses, I’d qualify this as a date,” she turns and gives you a teasing look of intrigue. “Just missing the food part, but I think it would still count.” 

A smile comes to your lips as you realize she’s right. “You hungry?” you ask, finally catching up with her. 

“No, I’m just kidding. Let’s go down to the riverside,” she points a little ways away, seeing that there is a sidewalk that runs alongside the water. 

You stuff your hands in your pockets as you trudge along, the two of you taking in the scenery and the water beside you. The air is still blowing cold, but neither of you seem to mind. “So if we’re gonna qualify this as a date, maybe we should get to know each other a little better,” you suggest, earning a scoff from her. 

“Seems a little backwards seeing as how we kinda already–”

“I know, I know,” you laugh. “Um, let’s see. Did you play any sports in school?” you ask. 

“I played volleyball all four years, golfed with my dad on the weekends sometimes when he was around… Other than that, not really,” she explains.

“Shit, don’t tell Danny you like golf,” you go on. “He’ll capture you in a week-long conversation and then ask you to go play a round in every country we visit,” you laugh. 

“Ummm, what’s your favorite holiday? And you can’t pick Christmas…” she says, pushing her pointer finger into your shoulder. 

“Hmm, so, I think it’s a tie between the Fourth of July and Thanksgiving, because in July we’re always out of the country somewhere really beautiful, or we’re all at home blowing shit up together. I’m always really happy that time of year. And then Thanksgiving, because I will eat the fuck out of mashed potatoes any chance I get,” you say. 

She laughs again, the sounds of her voice making your insides warm. “Your answer was better than mine!” 

“Let’s see… What's your best friend’s name?” Noticing that she hasn’t really mentioned anyone.

“My best friend’s name is Ruth, we’ve been friends since elementary school. She’s… a complete idiot,” she laughs. “We still talk pretty much daily about anything and everything,” she explains. “Don’t have any secrets.”

“Oh so, she’s… getting the rundown of your whole European adventure in real time, isn't she?” you ask, wondering if she had been giving her a play by play of the whirlwind last few days you'd shared together. 

She purses her lips and squints her eyes as her hand brushes past yours. “Guess you could say that…”

“Damn!” you laugh, feeling embarrassed. “Don’t tell me you included our bar bathroom escapade…”

Suddenly she’s tripping over her words. “I mean... No! I told her a little but like, not details or anything ya know, but she…I–” 

“So she knows we almost hooked up but thankfully stopped just in time that my brother didn’t catch things getting too out of hand…” you say confidently, wanting to see the blush rush her cheeks again. 

She stops, standing stiff in her place. “Okay, Jake. Caught me. Sue me, shit.”

You continue walking, pulling her along by the hand. “I’m kidding, I don’t care. I hope to meet her one day.”

She looks at you from the side of her eye, “I hope you do, too. Okay, who’s your best friend?”

“You really want me to answer that?” You’re surprised she can’t already tell. “I’ve got three built right in. All three pains in my ass but I love ‘em.”

“How sweet, Jake. Man, you do have a heart under there, somewhere!” she teases. 

“Of course I do baby, I’m actually a sweetheart, didn’t you know?” you respond in a very piratical voice. “Alright, favorite music genre. This is the big one, answer carefully…”

“Ahhh, well…” she looks to the ground, truly contemplating her answer. “You already know the Alt-J stuff you added was way out of my normal choice, I actually listen to um, a lot of harder stuff, I guess you could say. Some metal, hard rock, also older country, some psych stuff. It runs the whole gambit,” she laughs, seeming like she was shy to admit it all. 

“Wow,” you say. “So like, almost the exact opposite of what we’re into.”

“Kind of, I mean it probably overlaps… I love the stuff you’ve added to the list. And I’m sure there’s a few classic dad rock songs you like, don’t lie…” she smiles. 

“Ehhh,” you argue, “Maybe a few…” you feel a sudden slight disappointment in the fact that the two of you probably will not be able to talk music much. But, that’s okay…

“Me and my dad used to go to rock shows a lot when I was a kid. I’ve seen all the country greats a few times a piece. Just something about that sound, you know? Reminds me of home, it’s very nostalgic… I’m sorry, I’m rambling…” she says, brushing the hair from her face as you find yourself enraptured in her words. 

“No, no… it’s okay, ramble on…”

Light bulb. 

You sneakily pull your phone from your pocket, adding that very song to the playlist, hoping she won't notice right off the bat, but hoping she will understand soon that you would listen to her ramble all day long. As she continues to talk, you can’t help but notice all the ways that she is so different from Isla. Like night and day. She listens to you when you speak, she doesn’t ever come at you with condescending words unless she’s being playful, she is sure of herself, and confident…and gives you that feeling down deep in your gut that tells you she’s something special. Though you’ve only known her a few days, it’s already obvious that she offers every single thing that Isla doesn’t, never has, and most likely never will. Instead of the uneasy, walking on eggshells feeling that you have everytime you’re with Isla, you get the confident, self-assured and joyful feeling in Y/N’s presence. And something is telling you to hold onto it. 

Speaking of Isla… you really need to tell Y/N about her. It’s only right. It isn’t fair to her that she doesn’t have a clue, you wouldn’t have wanted to be left in the dark if the roles were reversed. You swallow, opening your mouth to start the conversation without having a clue where to even begin. But your thoughts are interrupted by Y/N’s sweet voice bringing you back down to earth again. 

“I know you bargained for a short walk, but what if we went up there to that little pub and see what they have to offer?” she asks, smiling a toothy grin.

Maybe the time isn’t now…

“Lead the way, love.”

—

HER POV

Warm. Everything is just so warm. Your body, your face, his smile. Warm. The room is a dull hum of noise around you, your world growing still as he sits in front of you. You watch him in wonder as he talks about music and his passions, your face propped up on your fist. You know you must look positively smitten, and to be honest you kind of are. The two of you are giggling back and forth, even though nothing is really that funny. But that was the beauty of it. You can tell you are blinking slowly and try to reign it in as the nearly half a liter of beer swirls through your bloodstream. You can’t help but smile at him while he talks, his eyes locked on yours as a smile stretches across his own face. 

You wonder how he is even able to hold a conversation right now, your brain reduced to mush as you continue to sip on your beer. He’s happy, you can tell, a dimple has appeared in his cheek and hasn’t left in nearly an hour. You can’t stop looking at it, at him. Everything about him. The twinkle lights over head have cast a perfect yellow glow on his tan skin, just as the sun starts to dip down below the river the two of you walked here from.

“You still with me, beautiful?” he asks, his knuckles brushing against yours. 

“I’m here, but barely.” you laugh, “Why aren’t you feeling the alcohol yet?” you tease, taking a rather large gulp of your beer.  You know he definitely has a higher tolerance than you do, but you can tell he is a little more smiley than usual. You place the large glass tankard back on the table as he stares at you, his eyes wide and sparkling. 

“What?” you ask, feeling a bit bashful in your drunken state. 

“You’re just…so– you’re just really pretty and it makes me feel, I don’t know, shy I guess,” he answers truthfully, biting his lips together nervously. 

You feel your chest burst into flames, the heat radiating up your face to your already flushed cheeks. 

“I like it when you blush,” he breathes, which of course makes you blush harder. “Like it best when it’s because of me.”

You feel all of your nervousness and anxiety melting away as he looks at you, and suddenly with the help of the beer, you feel brave enough to ask the question that has been on your mind all day. 

“Jake?”

He nods his head ever so slightly, letting his fingertips drift across your knuckles. 

“Why didn’t you answer? My song, how come you didn’t say anything?” you ask, swallowing down your last bit of nervousness. 

He drops his head a little, grabbing your hand in his, letting his thumb skate across your skin. “I searched and searched for a song that I could respond with last night. One that would articulate what I wanted to say, but I just…I couldn’t find one. I felt like absolute shit after you left, Y/N. Really, I did. I fell asleep with that damn song on replay until my alarm went off this morning. It got in my head, and that’s when I decided I wanted to go on this walk today. Make it up to you.”

You stare at him for just a second, letting a smile slowly creep to your lips. He notices and you watch him as he visibly relaxes. He was nervous, too. 

His eyes are locked on yours, both of you saying a thousand things with zero words. You let his words sink in, storing away each one until your heart feels a little bit lighter. 

“Well, you better think of a good one tonight,” you tease, rubbing your thumb against his. 

His phone buzzes on the table top, his eyes flashing down to it, then to you in panic. 

“It’s fine,” you nod, gesturing for him to grab it. “I don’t mind, really.”

He picks it up and clears his throat, the loss of his hand from yours stings a little but you know he will do it again. 

“From Josh,” he starts reading the message out loud, “Where are you? I knocked on your door and you didn’t answer.”

He smiles and laughs as his thumbs type back a response. 

“Oh, another one,” he pauses, “We’re meeting up for dinner, just the guys, in an hour.”

His face drops a little, his eyes looking across the table to you. He locks his phone and sets it back on the table, his hand seeking yours out again. 

“We should probably get going if you’re gonna make it back in time,” you offer, taking another sip of your beer. 

He lets out a painful sigh, “I don’t really want to. I want to stay out…with you. I see them all the time.”

“No, no, no, you’re in Amsterdam with your brothers. They want to see you. Don’t change your plans around for me,” you insist. 

He looks conflicted, you can tell he really does want to stay here with you, but he also knows he needs to meet up with them. 

“Well, what about you? What will you do?” he asks, tracing his index finger around your hand. 

You smile and shake your head, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll probably just go back to my room and do whatever it was I was going to do before you knocked on the door.”

He smiles and nods, licking his lips before speaking again, “If you’re sure, this is supposed to be me making it up to you for leaving you last night, now I seem to be doing it again.”

“Wanna know a secret?” 

He raises his eyebrows in question, ready to hear your answer.

“I forgave you for that about two minutes into our walk,” you smile, squeezing his hand in yours. 

—

He walks with you back to the hotel, his hand never leaving yours for a second. His grip is firm and warm, everything you ever dreamed of. You talk about the shops and the sights, and he tries again to convince you to buy that dress, bartering that he was going to have to go back and buy it himself if you refused. 

As you step up to the hotel door you pause, turning and looking at him in the glow of the streetlights. “You don’t have to walk me all the way up, I think I can find it.” you tease. 

“Alright, well, um, can I text you?” he asks, his tone reverting back to that of a nervous fifteen year old boy. 

You feel the butterflies taking flight in your stomach, flapping their wings so hard you feel like you might take off with them. “Yeah, you can text me whenever you want to.”

A huge smile spreads across his face, “Yeah, alright, cool. I’ll um, I’ll text you then.”

“I’ll be waiting,” you answer, watching him stifle back his smile as he steps back a bit, bringing your hand to his lips. He places a soft and gentle kiss to the top of your hand, his cold lips barely grazing your skin, and sending a jolt of electricity through you. 

“Won’t be long,” he smiles, stepping away and turning to head back down the street. 

—

JAKE POV

You follow the walk route to the pin that Josh had dropped, finding yourself at a tiny pub down a back alleyway of a street. The place is crowded and warm, ambient lights with the damp smell of cigars lingering in the air. You mosy through the crowd, hoping that no one recognizes you and stops you for a drunken conversation or autograph. 

Luckily it doesn’t happen, and you find Danny, Sam, and Josh tucked away at a high-top table in the corner. “There he is! Took you long enough!” Danny yells over the loud crowd, the first one of them to spot you. 

The other two turn to face you, pulling your stool out for you to take. “Your beer is probably warm, now…sorry,” Sam says, pointing to yet another giant mug of beer, just the same as the one you’d just finished off. 

“Fuck, thanks…” you say, tiptoeing to hop up onto the high stool. You simply can’t help the shit-eating grin that’s plastered across your face, even with all the maximum effort you have left in you. You take a large sip, finding the beer to still be fairly cold. 

“Where have you been already today? You look flushed and far too jovial…” Josh presses, rubbing his hands together with his elbows resting on the table. 

“Cold outside,” you say, shooting him a look. 

The bullshitting and argumentative discussions commence as everyone obviously begins to feel their alcohol, and you take the distracted time out to text Y/N, letting her know you made it safely. 

You

9:18PM: I’m here, but already wishing I never left

You attach a quick photo of your giant beer, and include the eye-rolling emoji.

Y/N

9:20PM: omg 😂 good luck choking another one down

You

9:21PM: Ye have little faith 🍺 

A minute later you receive a photo of her room service sprawled out across the bed in front of her, chicken fingers and fries and some type of dipping sauce. You smirk at how cute she probably looks in whatever outfit she chose to get comfy in, and wonder what she looks like. You notice the TV in the background, and recognize the movie that she has playing. 

You

9:24PM: Looks tasty

9:24PM: Damn, is that Wedding Crashers?

Y/N

9:25PM: Yes, I fucking love this movie

You run your hand over your face. 

You

9:26PM: That sucks, I quite literally can’t stand that movie 

Y/N:

9:26PM: 😱😱😱😱😱😱

9:26PM: You’re insane, this is one of my favorite movies of all time! Why do you hate it!

You

9:27PM: Dunno, not a sucker for cheap comedy I suppose

You’re interrupted by Sam’s snapping fingers in your face. “Hellooooo, Jake, you with us? Tell Isla to leave you the fuck alone, it’s guys’ night!” 

You feel your eyes widen at his comment and glance at Josh, who is mirroring your exact expression behind his folded hands. 

“Uh, sorry, sorry yeah.” You put your phone down on the table and try your best to be present with them, getting caught up in your normal absurd conversation. Your phone continues to light up and buzz on the table. 

“You gonna get that?” Josh asks slowly and quietly, just loud enough for you to hear. You ignore him, finishing off the last bit of your beer that went down exceptionally quicker than you thought it would. Everyone is sufficiently intoxicated, and you have to admit, you’re having a really great time letting loose. The drinks are flowing, and the air is high-spirited all the way around. Danny is taking funny videos of Sam and Josh as they try their hand at some type of trick with a coin and a bottle cap, so you take the second to check your phone again. But what you see brings your serotonin level down just a notch. 

Isla

10:12PM: Hey, what’s up?

10:27PM: Why aren’t you answering me babe :(

10:29PM: I miss youuuuu, you never called back last night

10:33PM: Saw Danny’s close friends story, glad to see you having fun ignoring my texts! 👋🏼

10:37PM: Can you accept my location request

10:42PM: I can see your phone in front of you Jake

You roll your eyes and mutter a quiet oh…my…god, rubbing your eyes with the palms of your hands. 

“What’s up?” Josh asks, and you turn your phone for him to see. His eyes instantly widen as he reads. 

“This…is the shit I’ve dealt with for the last three years. I can’t—” you cut yourself off, feeling your jaw clenching with aggravation. 

Josh settles back in his chair. “Fuck, I had no idea…”

“What, what is it?” Sam and Danny basically simultaneously ask, seeing the disdain falling over the both of you at the same time. 

“Nothin’, just a sad video,” Josh lies. 

You decide to let Isla’s antics roll off your shoulders; you’re having too good of a night to let her whining bring you down. Things with Y/N are starting to heat up, and you find your tipsy self teetering on the edge of risk. You pull her texts up again, finding that she had responded a while ago.

Y/N

9:30PM: You’re crazy, this movie is fuckin hilarious

You decide to change up the game a bit, adding a song that reflects exactly how you’re feeling right now. You scroll through your library and land on it, bringing up the option to add it to your shared playlist. It’s perfect, ‘In the Mood For You’ by The Record Company. 

She responds with a text a minute later, a string of five or six laughing emojis. You’re then met with a song addition on her end, ‘Are You Sure?’ by Willie Nelson. 

Holy shit holy shit. You feel your stomach get warm and your head starts to swim at the thought of where this could go, where you want it to go. You take a deep breath as the excitement builds in your system, and you can physically feel your body getting warm. You want to scream. Your eyes begin to cross a little as your thumbs hover over the screen, flicking around as you decide what to do. 

The next thing you know, Sam is setting another beer in front of your face, this one thankfully much, much smaller than the other one you had just finished off. Mother fucker...Gonna be very drunk.

You decide to skip out on a text, keeping this little game the two of you have going. You pull up the song search, adding ‘No One Else’ by Weezer. Perfect. 

Seconds later, you receive a text. 

Y/N

10:56PM: I’ll think about it…….

You feel your cheeks grow pink. 

Just then another comes through from Isla. 

Isla

10:57PM: Ignoring me isn’t going to fix anything, Jacob.

You scoff, shaking your head. You turn the phone to Josh again. 

“God, block her fucking number. I’m so serious,” his voice raises a little, laced with a protective tone. 

You ignore it, flipping back over to your texts with Y/N, suddenly feeling emboldened. 

You

10:59PM: Think about what, exactly? 

You lick your lips as you set the phone down, glancing around to see no one paying attention to you all up in your phone again. A minute later, you receive a photo. You click the message and watch as the attachment comes to life. 

It’s a selfie of Y/N sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed in a barely-there black silk pajama set, with the object of the photo obviously the empty side of the bed behind her. 

Y/N

11:01PM: You, here.

Son of a fucking bitch, she is gonna be the death of you. You pull your phone up so no one can see the picture, and you take a second to stare at her soft skin in the silk material, her hair a little messy but lying perfectly. She’s smiling just a little, and the dim light is bouncing off her features in all the right areas. 

You

11:03PM: Absolutely stunning

11:03PM: Are YOU sure?

Your heart is positively racing, watching as her text bubble pops up. 

Y/N

11:04PM: Only if you want to…

As the breath hitches in your throat as you’ve quite literally forgotten how to breathe, you take a second more, starting in on the beer Sam had provided. You lock your phone, trying to make up your mind of how to answer. What to do, what to do…

You finally decide to reply with a bold text. 

You

11:06PM: I think I can make that happen…😉

11:06PM: We shouldn’t be much longer

You get dragged back into conversation with the guys, and fifteen or so minutes later, everyone is gearing up to leave. You glance down at your phone a few minutes later, seeing that she hasn’t responded. Weird. 

Everyone stands to leave, and the alcohol hits you in the face. Yeah, pretty fairly intoxicated. You exit the building, feeling someone standing behind, close by. You turn to see Dean bringing up the rear of the group. “Whoa, where did you come from you scary motherfucker?” you tease, earning a big, warm smile from him.

“Been sitting at the bar all evening, Mr. Jake,” he responds, pointing for you to catch up with the rest of them. 

You rest a heavy hand on his shoulder. “You’re really good at your job, Dean. I never even knew you were there, should have come and had a drink with us.” You feel your words slurring a bit. Just then, you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket incessantly. 

“I wet my whistle with a shot of Jameson as soon as we got there, water the rest of the night,” he replies without looking at you. You laugh and step to the side a bit, pulling your phone out to see Isla calling. Fucking son of a bitch. You slide to answer it. 

“What, Isla? Fuck!” your tone is a bit more harsh than you had expected, but warranted nonetheless. 

Then, all you can hear on the other line is a rush of screams and yells, her voice loud and her words cramming as she lets you know how she feels. You pull the phone away from your ear, holding it there until you find a chance to speak again. 

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, can you–”

Her screams continue, and you realize exactly how this is going to go. How it’s gone hundreds of times before. She’s not gonna let you speak. And honestly, you’re too intoxicated to talk, anyway. You set it to speakerphone as Josh falls back to walk with you. You shake your head as you allow your twin to listen to her incessant rambling. “You hear this shit?” you mumble. The two of you listen for a second more before you realize you can’t do it anymore. 

“Isla, I’m hanging the phone up. Call me when you can have a mature conversation. Bye.” You don’t even wait for her to retaliate before pressing the big red button. In a huff, you bring up your text thread to see if Y/N has responded. Like the gods of divine intervention decided to reign down their bad luck upon you, you find that you had in fact sent those last two risky texts, to Isla.

“FUCK!” you yell, stopping in your tracks, hitting your palm to your forehead. “Fuck fuck fuck!” How could you have been so stupid?! Of course she had a reason to call and yell at you…

Your fingers move to Y/N’s thread, and you see that you were the one who had left her on read. You’re in the lobby of the hotel now, and everyone is dispersing to head to the elevator or down the halls to their respective rooms. You snap away for a second to tell them goodnight, before deciding to take the stairs up to your room. You needed a second, and to work off some of your drunkenness. 

You finally pop into your room, feeling completely idiotic for accidentally sending the right text to the wrong number. You splash some cold water on your face, hoping it will bring you back to earth a little bit, but finding it to have only made your splotchy face and tinted cheeks worse. You brush your teeth and take a piss, finally settling on the edge of your bed to think. 

Fuck it, you finally decide, bringing up your texts with Y/N once more. 

You

11:47PM: I think I can make that happen…

Surprisingly, she responds within the minute.

Y/N

11:47PM: Hey. Thought you had found someone else to sneak away to the bathroom…

Your nerves flush up all over again. We’re still in the clear.

You

11:48PM: Don’t be crazy fledgling. I’m finding you in 5 minutes. 

HER POV

Five minutes? Five minutes!  You stare at the screen for a few seconds before your brain starts to work again, giving you a mile long to-do list before he knocks on the door. 

“What!? What! What does it say?! Hello! Why do you look panicked!?” Ruth asks from the other end of the phone. 

“Oh my god, he’s coming to my room. Right now, he’s on his way right this second, holy shit I have to– I have to clean up! I need to brush my teeth, brush my hair? Shit, I can’t be wearing this! Oh my god, shit I do not have enough time!” you screech, tearing across the hotel room to clean up the best that you can. 

“Focus on yourself first! He doesn’t care about your messy room! Put on some deodorant for the love of god! Did you shave your legs today?! Wait, did you end up bringing that little black sleep set thing we found?” she asks, trying to help you prioritize. 

“Yes! I’m wearing it stupid! Can you not see me?!” you shout, the clocking continuing to tick by. 

“Fuck off, it’s blurry! Okay just go brush your teeth, brush your hair, deodorant, then let's work on the room. Hurry up!” 

You run into the bathroom, applying deodorant as quickly as possible and checking your legs for stubble. “I shaved this morning, but I think it’s fine.”

“Did you shave…everything?!” she asks, just as panicked as you are. 

“Yeah, thank god!” you answer, wetting your toothbrush. 

“Okay, game plan, keep brushing, just listen. He’s into you, you’re into him. He’s been flirting with you all night. He wants you babe, and if it were me? Well, I’d do it. I know what you’re gonna say, ‘Ruthie, I can’t give it up on the first date’, blah blah blah, I don’t care, fuck the police. He’s hot, you’re hot, you’re in Europe, and if you don’t sex that man tonight, you might not get the chance to again.” she lectures, giving you a stern look.

You spit your toothpaste into the sink, wiping your mouth and grabbing for your hair brush. You run it quickly through your hair as she continues. “God, I have got to know what this man is like in the bedroom. I am so living through you right now. I expect every detail first thing in the morning. Not noon, not three, morning.”

You grab your perfume from the bathroom counter and hold it up to the camera, “Should I, or too much?”

“Yes, you should, obviously! But don’t overdo it!” she yelps back. You spray the perfume onto your wrists, careful not to spray too much. 

“Alright, I feel better, but do you think I should change? Honestly, I feel so…”

“What? Hot, sexy? Drop dead gorgeous? Didn’t have a problem with it when you sent that picture earlier, what's different now?” she asks. 

“Well, nothing I guess, I just… He will see me in person. You can see my nipples!” you admit.

“I think he’s gonna see a lot more than your nipples tonight babe, that’s just the appetizer.” she laughs, crunching the ice from her drink. 

“Oh my god you are so gross, okay, fine. I just need to clean up the room and little and–”

A knock at the door renders you both silent. You mouth the words ‘oh my god’, as she laughs silently. 

“I’ll call you later,” you whisper, quickly ending the call and tossing your phone onto the dresser. You take a deep breath and smooth your hands over the black satin tank top, pushing your boobs up, but letting out a defeated sigh when they drop back into place. She better be right about this. 

You blow out a calming breath as you make your way towards the door, twisting the handle and pulling the door open. Leaning against your door frame you find Jake, cheeks flushed and somehow looking even better than he did this afternoon. He’s in the same clothes, and his hair is windblown, but there is something different about him. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but you file it away for later. 

You purse your lips in a smirk, “You said five minutes.”

He smiles and nods, “I did, but I had to make a pit stop.”

“What for?” you ask, a playful tone to your voice. 

You watch his eyes flick down to take in your appearance, his chest growing as he sucks in a deep breath, “Oh, you know…had to get something,” he pauses, shrugging his shoulders a bit. “Did you make up your mind?”

You bite your lips together as you open the door a little wider, “Mmm, I thought about it…”

He steps forward, his foot on the threshold, “And?”

You instantly reach for his shirt, pulling him into the room and crashing your lips into his. He immediately takes control, leading you backwards and kicking the door shut with his foot. His hands have found your waist, sliding beneath the silky fabric of your top and gripping into your skin. He backs you into a wall, letting his warm lips drag across your jaw as his hands continue to explore the soft skin of your stomach. It’s not long before his lips are back on yours, the taste of alcohol still lingering on his tongue. 

His knee slides between your legs, parting them just enough to be able to press himself closer to you. Your arms lace around his neck, your hands tangling into his soft hair, as his hips press into yours. The sound of your lips on his is wet and desperate, the two of you devouring each other where you stand. His tongue slides into your mouth in search of yours, the two of you quickly picking up where you last left off. 

You can feel his phone vibrating in his pocket as it presses against your leg, an incessant buzz that drags your attention away from his lips. 

“You wanna get that?” you ask, whispering against his lips. 

“No,” he growls, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip. “Probably the groupchat, I’m tired of them interrupting.”

He pulls the two of you from against the wall, walking you backwards towards the bed as his lips pepper kisses up and down your jaw. He tosses you down towards the bed, the fluffy white sheets pooling around your body. His eyes are hazy as he looks down at you, his cheeks still red from what you thought was the cold, but now know is the alcohol flowing through his system. His chest is heaving as he stares down at you, taking in every single inch of your body. You can feel the primal need radiating from him, and you remind yourself to thank Ruth for not letting your change into something else. 

You can hear that his phone is still buzzing, and with a huff of aggravation he pulls it from his pocket and taps on the screen a few times before throwing it onto the nightstand. He drops to his hands, hovering over you as his shirt hangs from his body. You keep your eyes locked on his as you unbutton the buttons, letting your hands run up his stomach and over his chest. 

His lips drop back down to yours, this kiss a little slower and a little more intentional, you can feel that he wants you, and you hope he can tell that you want him just the same. He hums against your lips, the evidence of his need starting to show through in his voice. You let your hands push the fabric of his shirt over his shoulders and he assists by tossing it to the floor. His necklaces hang between the two of you, the pendants cold as they rest against your chest. 

His hand comes up to swipe at the thin strap of your tank top, pulling it delicately over your shoulder while letting his eyes meet yours. You nod your head just enough to give him permission, letting him repeat the action with the other side. 

He brings his palm to rest on the side of your neck, his fingertips brushing lightly against your skin before he drags his palm down your body, pushing the soft black fabric down your chest. 

“This what you wanted?” he hums, dragging his fingertips over your sternum. “When you sent me that little picture? Wanted to get me all worked up thinking about you in this? Thinking about you, out of this?”

Your nipples harden just at the sound of his voice, deep and rich, a gentle slur from the alcohol. He is pure sex as you look up from beneath him.

“Might’ve been…” you answer, biting your bottom lip nervously. 

“Don’t do that,” he says, pulling your lip with his thumb. “Own it. Take what you want.”

A smirk is planted on his lips, his hair hanging around his face as he looks down at you. You decide to do exactly what he says, reaching down to the hem of your top and pulling it up and over your shoulders. His eyes drop down to your chest, now completely exposed to him, the lust almost visible in his dark eyes.

“Shit…” he breathes, his tongue wetting his lips.

He slots his knee between your legs, crawling forward a little bit more and dropping down to his elbows over top of you. His lips connect with your chest, sucking a long wet kiss into the roundness of the skin. You squirm beneath him, the feeling of his lips on your body more than you can handle in the moment. He drags his lips down your body, stopping as he meets the hem of your shorts. 

“Smell so fucking good…You’re so soft, everywhere… Have half a mind to have you like this,” he pants, pressing his lips to your skin again.

“Come back,” you plead, needing to feel his lips on yours.

He moves quickly, grabbing your face with his hand and pressing his lips to yours. You reach between the two of you, your hand unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning the button on his pants. He groans as your hand slips into the waistband of his boxers, gently grazing the stubbly trimmed hair at his base. His eyes flick open to meet yours, almost as if he is surprised you’re doing what he told you to do. You stare at him, waiting for him to tell you to stop, but he doesn’t. You have the answer you need. 

You press further, reaching for him, but surprisingly finding him still mostly soft. His eyes widen a little, and his head drops just a touch. You can tell he knows, and it’s caught him a little off guard. 

You decide to take matters into your own hands, smiling back at him, “Roll over.”

He looks up, a small grin on his lips as he rolls to his back, landing in the empty spot you photographed earlier. You move to place yourself between his legs, reaching for the top of his pants and pulling them and his boxers down over his legs. He kicks them off and you toss them to the floor, taking in the sight of him completely naked in front of you. His chest is heaving as he looks at you, a grin on his shiny pink lips as he watches you slide your hands up his thighs. 

“I know I already told you this, but you’re so fucking pretty I can’t seem to think straight.”

You can feel your cheeks grow hot, the way he’s looking at you and the words falling from his mouth have your heart pumping harder than it has in years. 

“And god when you blush like that, fuck…”

You crawl forward a bit more, positioning yourself over him to straddle his waist. You lower yourself to a sitting position, letting him guide your hips to rest your body weight where he wants it. His hands grip into your hips, sliding under the silky fabric still covering your lower half. His thumbs rub circles into your hip bones, your hips rolling on their own accord against his. A hum leaves his chest as his eyes flutter closed, clearly enjoying his view and the feeling of you beneath his hands. 

You reach for his hand, grabbing his wrist and guiding his palm to rest over your chest, letting his fingers grip into the soft fullness beneath it. He palms at your breast as you continue to rock your hips over his. His mouth opens just a bit as he focuses on you, slowly bringing his other hand to rest over your other breast. His grip is firm and warm, not too rough. A hum of pleasure leaves his lips every few seconds as he drinks in the moment, but still yet he is considerably soft beneath you. 

You lean forward into his hands, letting your lips brush against his neck, your tongue darting out and licking a wet stripe up the column of his neck. His grip tightens and his hips buck upward into yours. You’ve got him where you want him now. 

You pull away from him, moving backwards on the bed until you are hovering right above his dick. Your eyes flick to his, dark and boiling over with want as you lower your face closer to him. You grab him in your hand, feeling that he is still not truly hard enough to do anything with, but you still had a few more ideas yet. 

“Can I?” you breathe, whispering the words against his soft pink tip. You bat your eyes at him, “Please?”

You watch his chest rising and falling quickly, his heart rate sky high as he watches you. “Been dreaming about it.”

You let your tongue glide over his tip, warm against your mouth as your eyes stay locked on his. You wrap your fist around his base and let your mouth sink down over him, running your tongue up the underside of his shaft. You can’t help but wonder why he isn’t rock hard at this point, his body giving you every single cue that he wants you, apart from this one. 

His hand swipes the hair away from your face as you take him, feeling him growing just the slightest bit harder as his tip grazes the back of your mouth. You pull off of him just enough to speak, letting your wet lips brush his tip. “That okay?”

“Yes, fuck yes, I just–”

You grip your hand into his thigh as you shush him, “Shhh, I know, I’m not done.”

You take him down again, bobbing your head back and forth at a steady pace as his breathing starts to pick up. His skin is clammy under your hands and his chest is heaving as he watches you take him as far as you can. 

Your brain starts to wander as you taste him, his natural musky smell translating to the taste of his skin. Maybe he drank too much? Or maybe you’re just bad at this. He should be hard by now. Maybe he doesn’t really want you like you thought. 

A groan leaves his lips and his hips buck up, forcing him further down your throat. “Fuck…”

Okay, that's definitely not it. He has been falling all over you for days, it has to be something else. 

His hand grips into your hair as his hips buck upwards again. “Feel so fuckin’ good baby, shit. Perfect little mouth, knew it would be.” 

You let your eyes flick up to his, staring at him as his tongue rests between his lips. He’s trying, you can tell, but for some reason, it’s just not working. His brow furrows in anger, and you watch as his demeanor shifts, frustration taking him over. 

You pull off him, his dick harder than when you started, but still fairly soft. You don’t know how hard he normally is, but it has to be more than this. Right?

“Jake, we don’t have t–”

He shakes his head, “Mmm, you know what? Come up here beautiful, come lay down for me.”

You do as he says, part of you sad to think that maybe you weren’t doing it for him, but you push the thoughts aside, swapping places with him as he adjusts the pillow beneath your head. He bends to kiss you, pulling away for just a second before pressing his lips to yours again much quicker. 

“So fucking pretty, all of you. But especially that mouth,” he smirks. 

He hooks his fingers into your shorts, pulling them and your panties off in one swift movement. You are bare before him, his eyes widening as he takes you in, finally getting a reaction from his dick. He fists it up and down a few times as he looks at you, “Can I touch you, baby?”

You nod quickly, letting him spread your legs apart with his free hand. A growl leaves his chest as he sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, “So gorgeous, shit…”

His thumb swipes up through your wetness, circling your clit a few times causing you to squirm beneath him. 

“Jake…” you gasp. 

His eyes meet yours, “Yeah? You like that? You’re so beyond wet, sweetheart.”

Your hips twist and turn beneath his touch, every angle proving to be more stimulating than the last. You whine, a string of curses and muffled versions of his name falling from your lips. 

“You…” he pauses, taking a deep breath, “Are everything I thought you would be. More, even.”

“Jake, please, I– I need–”

He pulls away from you quickly, his hand still fisting his cock as he reaches for his wallet on the floor. He pulls a condom from the pocket inside, tearing the foil packet open as he kneels back onto the bed. 

“Let me!” you urge, stopping his wrist, “I mean, please, can I do it?”

His eyes flick up to yours in surprise, “Yeah baby, you can do it. You can do whatever you want, swear to god.”

You grab the latex between your fingers, pinching the tip and rolling it over his cock. It's hard enough now that putting the condom on is fairly easy, but you’re positive he was even harder than this in the bathroom last night. You roll it to his base, letting your hand drift back up and over his chest before circling it around his neck. His hands grip your waist as his lips meet yours again, his tongue circling with yours as he moves you back towards the pillows, gently lowering your body to the bed. “Want you so bad, Y/N.”

“So have me,” you breathe, barely letting your lips leave his. 

You welcome him between your legs, feeling his hand reach down to fist his base, gliding himself through your wetness. In only a matter of a minute his dick is softer than it was, and both of you know it, but neither of you are willing to acknowledge it. 

His phone starts to buzz on the nightstand, both of you looking towards it. He doesn’t pay it any mind, letting it buzz on the wooden table until it stops. 

“Look at me, baby, don’t mind that,” he demands. 

You feel him press his tip to your entrance, his eyes fixed on yours. He furrows his brow as he presses his hips forward, but you feel nothing. Your eyes flick down between the two of you, finding that he can’t seem to get hard and stay hard enough to get it in. You feel a pang of hurt run through your chest, almost like rejection, but somehow a little worse. 

“Jake, are you not hard en–”

“Just give me a second, I don’t know what the fuck is going on,” he growls, his attention turning to the still buzzing phone on the nightstand. 

“I mean, I can give you head again if you think–”

“No, Y/N, I just– I just need a second, I’ll be fine,” he says. You can hear the anger in his voice, not at you, but at himself. 

“Is it me?” you ask, running your fingers up his arm that is next to your head. 

“Fuck no. You are everything I want, wet as fuck and gorgeous, no, it’s not you. I want you, I really fucking want you,” he says, stroking himself a few more times. “Alright…”

He repositions himself at your entrance, and this time you can feel him, he’s harder now, enough to slide into you, but still it’s only just enough to slip inside. 

Even half hard he is bigger than the last guy you were with, the stretch as he presses into you making that abundantly clear.

“Oh Jesus Christ, you are so tight,” he pants, his dick hardening a little at the tight fit. 

You slide your hands around his waist, pulling him down a little further as he starts to move his hips, “Oh goddamn…”

His phone buzzes twice on the nightstand as he starts to pump into you at a steady pace, but you ignore it, letting the overwhelming feeling of him moving inside of you take precedence in your brain. 

He groans through closed lips, his brow furrowed in concentration as he slides in and out of you. He rolls his hips as he thrusts into you, a whine leaving your lips as your back arches. 

“Motherfuck, you are–” he stops, regaining his composure, “Tightest fuckin’ pussy.”

Your hands grip into his sides as he picks up speed, his hips slamming into yours as both of you start to lose yourselves in the moment. Finally things felt normal, things felt good, way too good. You wanted this, you needed this, and fuck if he wasn’t checking every box you’d ever had. 

He cups your cheek in his hand, dusting his thumb over your swollen lips just as you part them to suck it in. You watch his eyes roll back in his head as he starts to pant, and you can tell he is dangerously close to his finish. 

You start to speak, ready to change positions but as you open your lips to release his finger, his phone rings, buzzing quickly across the table as the sound plays through the speakers. 

“God fucking damnit!” he growls, “What the fuck!”

“Take it Jake, it’s fine, just– answer and they’ll leave you alone.” you urge, looking to the black phone skittering across the table. 

“No, fuck no.” he snaps, his hips emphasizing his point. “I’m busy,”

The buzzing stops, and he looks back to you, letting his hand drift down to your chest. He rolls your nipple between his fingers, letting his lips meet yours. His kiss is wet, and desperate, his hips starting to falter as they move in messy strokes above you. 

You can tell he needs to cum, his body racing closer and closer with every half hard stroke of his dick. You can also tell he is fighting it, his face is red, and his hairline sweaty. You know it will be seconds, if that, until he is tumbling into his release.

His eyes flick to yours in panic, an almost apologetic look on his face as he breathes, “Baby, I’m, fuck—”

As if right on cue, his phone starts to buzz, the ringtone blaring through the speakers as his hips stutter, slamming into you again as he looks at his phone on the table. His head snaps back to you, sucking in a deep breath of panic as his hips stop, his cock twitching inside you as he fills the condom with a guttural moan. 

The fucked out look that takes over his face is like nothing you’ve ever seen. Reminiscent of a Renaissance painting, the features of his face twist into such a blissful expression that he almost looks like he’s in pain. He’s beautiful, there is absolutely no doubt about that, but it doesn’t change the fact that he just came, way, way too soon. 

You are in shock as you lay beneath his panting body, feeling him grow soft inside you once again. He pushes up to his hands nearly instantly, his face riddled with remorse as he realizes what exactly just happened. “Y/N–”

His phone buzzes again, for what has to be the sixtieth time in the last five minutes, a snap of anger washing through you. “Are you going to fucking get that?”

He mumbles a curse under his breath as he pulls out of you, the condom full as he looks at it in shame. He covers himself with his hand as he snatches the phone off of the nightstand and makes his way to the bathroom. You can feel the embarrassment swirling through the air as you hear the sink in the bathroom turn on. 

You grab the sheet at your feet and pull it up over your naked, unsatisfied body, trying to wrap your head around what exactly just happened. You try to catch your breath, the sound of your breathing filling the room but quickly drowned out by Jake’s phone ringing. This time though, he answers. 

“Hello?!” he shouts, his anger apparent. “Yeah I’ve seen him fucking calling, I have been busy goddamnit!” 

You hear the sink turn off and the toilet flush, followed by the sound of his footsteps walking back into the room. “Yes, I will call him, Jesus Christ, don’t ever blow my shit up like that again,” he snaps, ending the call. He pauses as he walks, a hand towel in his grip as he taps his phone screen.

You hear another call ringing out, but this time he's the one doing the calling. He walks over to you with the phone on speaker phone, a look of sadness on his face as he slowly approaches the edge of the bed. He sits next to you and reaches for your hand just as the person answers. 

“Hey, man, been trying to call you.” the man's voice says, a tone of urgency present.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I was caught up for a second. What’s up, what’s going on?” Jake answers, rubbing his hand along your arm. 

He turns to look at you mouthing ‘guitar tech’ as he hands you the damp towel. You make quick work of it, wiping yourself off but knowing you’ll be taking a shower as soon as possible. You throw it across the room as he snickers, waiting for Johnny to answer.

“Listen man, I’m at the venue, trucks just arrived and we are doing load out. One of the stage left Marshall cabinets split in transit. Wiring harness is fucked. Amp is…the amp is not looking good man.”

You see Jake stiffen, “What?” 

“Huge gash in the backside, must have fallen or something, I tried to fuck with the wiring as best as I could, it’s not getting any signal right now, man.”

“Holy fuck,” he groans, standing quickly from the bed and gripping into his hair. “No signal? Did you try a direct line in?”

You cut your eyes wondering how he managed to sober up so quickly in the last three minutes.

“Yeah, even DI there’s no signal, just static. Powers’ on, but she’s DOA. Gonna have Mark take a look at it too, but I don’t have high hopes,” he continues. 

“Is there anything we can do? How the fuck are we supposed to get a replacement amp and cabinet by tomorrow?” Jake asks, his voice laced with panic. 

“We can make some calls, I know a guy with some leads. What are the chances of you coming down here to take a look at it? Maybe I’m completely missing something, man. Hoping it's a quick fix. Need your signature for the insurance waiver, too.”

“Can it wait until morning?” he asks, a pained look on his face. 

“Probably shouldn’t, especially if we are looking for a replacement locally.”

He turns to look at you, and you can tell he is conflicted. You bite your lips together and nod your head. This is his job after all. 

He runs a hand over his face, letting out a sigh, “Yeah, yeah, I um– I can be there in a bit. I just need to wrap something up here, and I’ll be there. See if you can get in touch with Hamstead, I’m sure they have a loaner we could use for tomorrow at the very least.”

“Will do man, hey sorry about this, I don’t know what happened, maybe it wasn't strapped down or–”

Jake is quick to cut him off, “It’s fine, not your fault. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yep, see you then,” he says, ending the call. 

He tosses his phone on the nightstand before dropping his head into his hands. “This night has been…”

He turns to look at you, letting out a sigh, “I don’t know what the fuck it’s been, fuck, I just…”

You can tell he is flustered, he can hardly form a sentence. “Listen, I get it. It’s fine, just go do what you need to do. It’s okay, really.”

He nods as he stands up from the bed, walking around the front to start grabbing for his clothes. He doesn’t say much as he dresses, and he will hardly look at you. You don’t really know why, but you can imagine he is feeling a little bad about himself and his performance at the moment. You still haven't let yourself process what exactly happened with the two of you just now, but you will, soon. 

He re-buttons his shirt, pulling his hair up into a hair tie as he lets out a sigh, “Look, I’m sorry about this. I really am, this is the absolute very last thing I want to do right now, especially after… that. But I have to, and I don’t want you to think that I want to because–”

“Jake. I get it. Just go, it’s fine,” you say calmly, hoping he will believe you. 

He grabs his phone and his wallet and shoves them into his pants pocket, kneeling on the bed towards you. He leans in to kiss you, but his lips don’t land on yours, instead missing your mouth completely. A new rush of secondhand embarrassment washes through you, and right now you think him leaving is probably the best thing he could do. 

He curses himself as he stands up shaking his head in defeat as he swallows back his embarrassment. He walks towards the door with a hand in his pocket, turning to you just before stepping out,  “I’ll uh…I’ll text you, I guess, I don’t know, fuck. Have a good night, Y/N.”

The door slams behind him and suddenly the room is silent. No heavy breathing, no pitchy moans, and no ringing phones. Just pure silence. 

You stare at the wall for a full five minutes, the muted TV flashing colors against your skin. You can’t conjure a thought. Not a single one. Nothing other than what the fuck was that?

You want to call Ruth. You want to call her and tell her everything, but you also don’t even know what you would say. Something like ‘Hey Ruth, just had the worst two minutes of sex of my life? Oh did I mention he was barely hard? And I couldn’t get him hard? And that his phone rang the entire time? And that he came in two minutes? And I didn’t finish at all? And then he had to leave as soon as he finished? And now I’m sitting alone and naked in my hotel room?’  Yeah, you needed to sit on this one for a minute. Your eyes catch sight of the flower laying on the dresser, now looking a little bit limp and lifeless but still beautiful no less. You feel a pang run through your chest, tearing your eyes away from it so as not to taint that moment earlier with this one. 

You rip the sheets from your body and make your way to the bathroom, turning the shower on as hot as it will go before stepping inside. You let the steaming hot water clear your mind and ease your tense muscles, washing away the scent of his cologne that is lingering on your skin. 

You wrack your brain for answers, though you can hardly come up with anything that makes sense. There’s just no fucking way he is actually terrible in bed. We had so much chemistry, the electricity between us was nearly electrocuting you. He felt so good last night. We were so in sync last night. This had to be a fluke, right? You’ve seen him with his guitar on stage, where was that?!

You lather your skin in your body wash, rinsing away the remaining evidence that this night ever happened. After the best afternoon with him, why was he so off tonight? He barely seemed like himself. Maybe he really did have too much to drink. 

You tried to put yourself in his shoes. If the roles were reversed and it was your phone blowing up like that, you probably would have been a little distant too. But that didn’t explain why he couldn’t stay hard. That was a mystery to you, and you really hoped to god it was the beers and not you. You know he was so much harder last night, you know he was. You felt it. So what happened between last night and tonight? 

Something. You knew that much. 

You turn off the water and wrap yourself in a towel, letting your mind wander with possibilities, trying to convince yourself that what he showed you tonight was not who he really was. You sat back down on the bed you just shared with him, thinking back to that few seconds where things were good. And it was good, it felt good, he felt good. There was no denying those few seconds. But the rest of it, well, that was still up for debate. 

You grab your phone and tap the screen, the display reading 1:02AM. There are no texts from Jake, though you didn’t really know what you expected him to say.

From the little you know about him, when he left here tonight the confidence he naturally exudes was gone, not even in the same building. You knew he would reach out, but only when he was ready and knew what to say. But until then… 

You toss your phone on the bed next to you, quickly changing into a clean pair of pajamas and curling back up into the bed. You lay there staring at the ceiling trying to figure out how you are going to handle things tomorrow. You would be with him the entire day, and you didn’t want to make him feel worse than he likely already did. 

You go back and forth with yourself until you land on something sturdy: You won’t say anything, you won’t do anything. You’ll act completely normal. The same as you have for the last few days. You decide to tear this page from the book and move forward. This never happened. 

Deep down you know there was something holding him back from being fully present with you tonight, but what that is you’ve yet to discover.

—

JAKE POV

The early morning finds you facedown on your bed, still fully clothed, one boot kicked off into the floor, the other still completely on your foot. The sun is far from being up, and you’re thankful that you still have a few hours before its rays beat in through your window. The bustle of the awakening city is loud on the streets below you, and you find yourself wanting nothing more than to stay in this exact position for the rest of the day. For the rest of your life, actually. Maybe, if you bury yourself under these blankets and pillows, everyone will forget about you. Isla will forget about you. Y/N will forget about you, about everything, about last night. It will be like it never even happened. It will be like the most amazing buildup to what could have been a night of pure electricity didn’t take an absolute nose dive into one of the most embarrassing things to have ever happened to you. You’d take tripping on stage a million times over this. Pure. Humiliation.

Yeah, right here, in this bed. Under the pillows. They can’t find you here. 

What the fuck even happened?! Whiskey dick was an understatement. It didn’t even begin to explain what you…experienced. Unable to perform for the most beautiful new thing that has happened to you. Everything was perfect, she was perfect… her confidence was enamoring, her head was off the charts good, and fuck, for the few seconds you had things actually going, it was pure ecstasy. She was soaked for you. Her sounds, her face… fuck. It all came flooding back to your brain, even the way she smelled still stuck in your mind. She wanted you, just as badly as you wanted her. Just the thought of it had you standing at attention all over again, at full force this time, though. And you’d let her down. 

You sit up and roll yourself over. “Where the fuck were you last night, huh? Let me the fuck down!” you audibly yell at what was happening in your still-belted jeans. You force your face back into the comforter, realizing now that a horrific hangover is on the horizon. Your head is busting in two already, not like you already didn’t feel like shit on a boot.

Staying here, under the pillows until sound check. Right here. Not moving. Hiding. 

You know that’s not realistic, though. You contemplate texting her, but what the fuck do you even say? You couldn’t even satisfy her, and ended up satisfying yourself, way too fucking soon. What had you lasted, two minutes? Three max? Like a fucking 16 year old kid. God, what a fucking tool. She probably thinks you’re a horrible lay. You know you’re better than that. 

You groan hard into the sheets below you, feeling the metallic taste of a hangover in your mouth. You need a gallon each of water, orange juice, and black coffee, stat. And probably like, nine pieces of the butteriest toast you can find. And probably a shower, yes, a shower. And a straightjacket, for how absolutely insane you feel. 

Damnit, the amp. Luckily, the rental was in the works of being en route last night, so you feel just a little bit better about that, at least. It won’t be your baby, but it will sound okay. 

You roll and find your almost-dead phone underneath your chest, blinking your eyes as the screen brightens. Nothing. Not even Isla. Good. No one wants you. You can stay here, hidden in your burrow, until you absolutely can’t anymore. 

You’ve gotta say something, anything to her, to start this process that you want to stay millions of miles away from. But the first step to healing is admission, so you go ahead and take it. 

You

5:31AM: I’m sorry. 

You watch as the message is delivered to her, seeing the string of foreplay texts and her photo still sitting in the chat. She’s so gorgeous, how could you have fucked up this badly? Your first chance to show her how you feel and you fumble this hard?

Though there were many factors playing into it, at the very deepest darkest part of your mind, you know why. You know exactly why. Guilt isn’t an emotion you let yourself feel very often, and this morning, you find yourself grasped in the wrath of it. The double-edged sword of your current situation with two separate women is proving to be more intertwined than you’d anticipated, or even foresaw. What you want is clear, though. And you’re determined to get a second chance, no matter how rocky and uncomfortable the road to that chance may be. 

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[elliesstrapon]

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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡“ Birthday Sex „ ♪°

.・゜-: ✿ :-

✧ Pairings: Ellie Williams x Reader

✧Summary: Ellie wants nothing more than for you to have an amazing birthday; she shows you the time of your life 🤭

✧Warnings: nsfw, smut, (r! receiving/ fingering), Ellie is a sucker for teasing, oral, alcohol, swearing, dom Ellie, flirty reader, I will TRY not to use Y/n please hear me out. Also not very good at writing this stuff so you know.. Anyways enjoy :))

___________________________________

Ever since you'd turned 17, your birthday hadn't really meant much to you, the presents were cool, the cards were alright, it just wasn't anything new to you, it was the same thing time after time again.

And of course today was no different, you were 20 years old. And reasonably so; you weren't doing anything, at all.

Or.. so you thought. Since you'd moved to Jackson (two years prior), your friends insisted on making every day special. Something about "making every day count," and, "You never know what could happen" is typically what Dina and Jesse would say. You'd told them repeatedly you couldn't care less even though you appreciated it, and up until now Ellie never cared what you did for your birthday, she just followed, stayed quiet, sometimes you thought she didn't even like you at all. You guys didn't have anything special and you only hung out because of Jesse, you never talked, nor walked together or went out, when you thought about it really hard, you didn't even know if you really had an opinion on Ellie; she was just there.

Clearly, you were much more than you thought.

"Jesse, has Ellie told you anything?" You asked him, you guys were walking through Jackson, getting fresh air. "Uh.. Depends, like what?" He averted his gaze to the mountains in the distance. "She asked to see me.. like later.. at her place." You let out in disbelief. "I mean, I don't even think she LIKES me, Jesse, she never even spares a single glance at me unless absolutely necessary."

"Okay, well now, I don't think that's true" Jesse chuckled, rolling his eyes and paused in his tracks, bringing you to an abrupt stop as well. "She stares at you all the time, what the hell are you talking about?!" He laughs. "Jesse, no offense, but you're the LAST person I trust with this.. not even going to lie." You sighed. "Remember at the dance, you thought Dina'd dance with you, and just like that it was ELLIE she grabbed? Can you imagine the second hand embarrassment I felt? I had to leave." You joked. "Okay stop, I'm serious." He furrowed his brows. "In any case, she doesn't not like you, trust me, I see her looking at you all the time. You could ask any other person in Jackson and they'd tell you." He assured you.

"Whatever... Thanks." You smiled. "Anything for you" He winked jokingly. "When did she want you over? What'd she even say?" He suddenly brought up.

"Uh, I don't know, it was something like; 'Come over later, wear something nice, don't be late', type shit, it felt kinda rushed if I'm honest." You huffed.

"Weird, I haven't heard any special events round' town for tonight." He thought, watching the horizon absent mindidly. "Yeah.. Whatever she just said I had to be there at like, what? Maybe 7:30?" You tried to recall. "Well you might wanna get ready then, it's 6:00" he checked his watch. "Oh! Shit!" You gasped. "Ugh I had no idea.." You groaned. "Thanks Jesse, I'll update you tomorrow?" You tapped his shoulder, not giving him a chance to respond. "K, bye!"

You raced home, not too far from where you and Jesse had been and decided to get ready, you still weren't sure what the deal was, why suddenly your birthday mattered to her, or why you had to look nice; you just went along with it.

In the depths of your closet you found a black off the shoulder dress. You weren't aware why, or how long you had it. But regardless you slipped it on, it was slim, and fell just beneath your thighs, it assentuated your hips, it was soft, comfortable, you couldn't see yourself wearing anything else 'nicer' than that.

You slipped on your bracelets and a random silver chain necklace and tied your hair how you always did. And checked the time one more time.

‘ 7:00 ’, the clock read. You decided if you were going over, you might as well be a bit early. You left your home locking the doors and made your way to her place.

As you got closer, your heart began to pound. Anything was about to happen, good or bad, suddenly everything you thought about Ellie before had changed. You were repeating how you'd say hi to her, or how she'd react when you got there early, and suddenly that snow ball of thoughts stopped.

Ellies door. You didn't know whether you wanted to knock or just run back home. You breathed deapily, raising your hand to the door, you finally knocked a tune, like in those movies you'd watched with Dina and Jesse.. and Ellie.

Your heart began to race again, as you heard the door knob shake, you let out an equally as Shakey breath when the door opened to an oh so attractive Ellie Williams, standing— no towering over you, with her hooded green eyes and soft looking hair just barley covering her eye brow slit, you couldn't stop, just her muscular arms, and exposed collar bone, to her tattoo, that you had no backstory on what so ever, all you knew was just how she was so fucking hot right now.

"Hmmh.." she hummed. "you're early." Her voice was raspy. "Happy birthday, beautiful." She said taking a long sip from the moonshine bottle you hadn't even noticed she'd been holding the whole time.

Your face began to heat up, you suddenly felt very dizzy, "uh, thanks" you mumbled. She set the bottle of moonshine on what you assumed was a dresser next to the door. "Well? Are you coming inside or not?" She sarcastically said; as if she wasn't smack-dab in the center of the door way. She moved to the side allowing you to enter before closing the door quickly behind you.

It was a open concept type of thing, her bedroom was also her living room, her living room was her kitchen, on the contrary, it was still spacious, she had posters across the walls, her guitar by her couch, she had fairy lights hanging above her bed and a few video games by her TV at the foot of her bed on the right. "Sit where you'd like" she husked. "okay," you breathed, at this point you didn't know how to breathe at all and your words came out without any articulation.

You sat on the couch by the window, taking in the rest of her room, her decor, she sat beside you.

"So.." You started. "Uhm.. why'd you want me over..?" You trailed off and your eyes wandererd, too scared to look into her eyes in fear you'd freeze then and there. "I mean, I got all dressed up, and I don't see anything special" you joked, attempting to lift the awkwardness you casted upon yourself on your own. "Really?" She chuckled. "Yes, really" you rolled your eyes, "Who invites someone over telling them to dress up with no intention of putting in effort yourself?" You furrowed your brows at her "no cake, no decorations, what was the point?" You finally kept eye contact, counting the freckles across her cheeks like constellations, and taking in every hue in her eyes.

"What makes you think there was a point?" She grimaced before every so slightly shuffling towards you. Making your heart skip 2 beats in a second. "I don't know, you don't talk to me" your voice was low, "doesn't mean I don't wanna see you." She started. "With a pretty face like yours, who wouldn't wanna see you?" She whispered. The room began to feel warm. You couldn't think of or look at anything but Ellie, her lips, her neck, you couldn't unfocus yourself from her breath which smelled like alcohol, and yet you still wanted to kiss her more.

"You don't mean that" you lightly sighed out back, starting to feel the sweat form at your neck and forehead.

She shuffled closer to you, leaving you about 3 inches apart, her breath and body both warm. "I do" she smiled. Her arm had appeared at your side all of a sudden, you didn't even know how long it'd been there, and her words were starting to be engraved in your mind. "So what? What're you trying to say?" You raised your brow, trying to stay confident, but the space that was so quickly closing between you was making your heart beat faster and faster by each passing second. "I don't know, what do you think?" She whispered back to you, her smile never dropping; it was the prettiest, you found yourself longing for something to happen already, for her to kiss you? Maybe scootch closer to you? If that was even possible, you were an inch and a half apart, you needed her to lean in already, her strong moonshine scent coming from her small breaths, her body radiating so much heat was almost unreal. If you kept looking into her eyes any longer, you thought you'd get lost in them. "Ellie.." you huffed. You didn't know what to say, or do, you wanted to beg for her to finally do something.

She began to lean in closer, taking that as the green light and she only smiled brighter, you thought how could she be so hot and so cute at the same time? When did the tension become so high. " 'm gonna make you feel so good." She whispered before finally kissing you, so gently yet so roughly; like she'd been waiting for the moment she got to ruin you from inside and out, her lips were wet, and soft, her hands found there way up to your cheeks to cup them, every part of her was just so soft. You held onto her waist as you kissed back. Nothing filled the room but your desperate need for breath and your small whines, she bit on your bottom lip, causing you to spread them, taking the opportunity ever so quickly, she inserted her tongue, you began to moan into the kiss, her hands were roaming your body, feeling every single part of you, and all you could do was grip at her hips harder.

Your tongues danced around, sliding against eachother, if heaven were a person; you'd one the lottery, you were seeing stars, the gates of heaven themselves.

She'd started to pin you down, her knee centered between your legs causing the slightest ever contact, you felt so weak. "Shit.." you moaned, breaking the sloppy kiss. She left kisses around your lips, taking in every breath you took, her kisses started to be left from the corner of your lips to your neck, she nipped and sucked at it, every hickey she'd left was the vague image of almost a butterfly. "You're doing so good, princess" she grinned against your skin, the kisses tracing along your collar bone, "mmhn" you let out, her hands made there way up your dress, playing with your thigh and circling her thumb, out of all that'd been happening, it was the most comforting.

"Take it off" she demanded. "What?" You breathed. "Your dress, take it off" she commended again, you obeyed, you sat up slightly beginning to slide the dress off you put on not even more than an hour ago. "Fuck" she whispered. The last bit of ease you had was gone. You felt exposed.

Her kisses continued from your collar bone to your chest, "fuck you're so beautiful" she gasped against your sweaty hickey stained skin. Your hand played in her hair, roughly keeping her head in place as she left thousands more of wet kisses on your breasts. "Look who's talking" you winced at her hand cupping one of your boobs, her hand soft and gently playing with them. She smiled at your remark. She left another bruise against your skin once more, moving on to your stomach, she licked and traced kisses down your happy trail, "mmhn, god.." your whines and needy moans filled the room. "If you were any louder, Jackson'd here you" she teased, getting close to your clit, her hand was still rubbing circles up your inner thigh. Your pussy was throbbing in your own wetness, you hadn't even realized had stained your panties. "Wet already?" She smirked looking up at you, "who knew you were so turned on?" Her hooded eyes darkened. You swore you could see the amount of unresolved lust behind them now. "Who's not turned on by you?" You flirted back, spreading your legs more so she wouldn't have to ask. "You have no idea what you're doing" her voice was low, leaving kisses inside your thigh near your entrance. She was testing you.

Her kisses become long hard bites, leaving and sucking on the hickeys. "Ellie..." You whined. She looked up at you once more before grabbing the hem of your panties, sliding them off so slowly the throbbing only quickened, she had barley done anything to you and your climax wasn't far off. "I'm gonna ruin every last organ in your body" she seductively smiled.

She raised her hand towards your mouth, "suck" she said, her ring finger and middle finger near your mouth.

You agreed to her request, sucking on both, leaving a string of salvia around them. "Fuck" she groaned. Looking up at you still, "You're doing so good, babe." She whispered, she felt so weak, it almost made her angry. "Mm" you hummed still sucking down her fingers with your warm liquids. "Good" she smirked at you.

She lined her fingers up with your entrance. "You ready?" She looked to you with consent. "Mhm" you heaved.

She started rubbing your clit, her pace slow, "Ellie what the fuck, please—" you begged. "Desperate?" She smiled up at you, her pace increasing just the slightest bit, if she wasn't so slow you probably wouldn't have noticed the sudden quickness. "You listened" you said inbetween irregular breaths. "Maybe I shouldn't have" she teased again before rubbing her fingers faster.

She finally slid them in your entrance, swiftly, it caught you by surprise. "Shit!" You cried, the pleasure washing over the pain, you arched your back, trying to create more friction, somehow get her deeper inside you. "Shh, it's okay" she kissed your neck, your face, everywhere, calming you down so she could adjust her long slender fingers inside you. She kissed you one last time before moving her fingers in and out of you slowly. "You okay?" She asked concerningly, "yes, go— please" you begged, the tears pairing with the beads of sweat on your forehead. Her pace quickened, filling you to the max, "mmnh! God, Ellie, shit-" you cried again as she hit your g-spot so much it felt illegal how good she was at it. "You're doing so well" she kissed your shoulder as she pounded her fingers in and out of you much like how much your heart'd been pounding an hour ago. But much better, she scissored, and pumped her fingers in and out of you so fast, and hard, you could nearly see the end of the world. Every inch of you was trembling, your finishing near and her kisses sweet, it was so much better than a cake, or birthday presents.

"E-ellie, I'm close" you cried, your legs shaking and her fingers doing you so hard it was other worldly. "Don't" she said, suddenly pulling out. "What?" You gasped "Ellie please.." you pleaded. You needed it so bad. "Please just let me" you begged. "I'm not done, gorgeous. You think I'd let you finish without letting me eat you out?" She smirked.

"Shit" you whispered, "don't worry, I'll let you" she smiled "I just need you so bad" she started kissing you inner thigh once more, trailing up sloppy kisses until your clit again, giving the same treatment she'd did your bruised skin, she began to suck at your pussy, sucking it occasionally, her tongue circled, and ate at you, her saliva leaking from you. "God.. mmhn.." you whined as she licked and sucked faster, the circles she was leaving with her tongue turning just as lazy and needy as her wet kisses previously. "Fuck. You taste so good.." she whispered, eating you out like a full course buffay. "Ellie please" you trembled, you legs couldn't stay still, her tongue still licking your clit. "I'm so.." you trailed off catching your breath. "I'm so fucking close" you finished. You could feel it hitting your stomach so low. "Even better" she smirked, she began rubbing your pussy with her fingers as she ate you out, swirling her tongue over and over again, you were wet, and covered in sweat and hickeys.

"Ellie!—shit oh my— fuck of my god" you cried, cumming inside her mouth, "good girl" she said, swallowing every single last bit of it, "Ugh" you sighed. Catching the breath you'd missed the whole time.

"you did so good" she said, lifting her head from your pussy. "Ellie, shit." You breathed. "What'd you think I was trying to say?" She pinned her arms above you, looking down on you, she smiled at the mess she'd made. "Shut up" you sighed. "That's how you wanted to tell me?" You raised a brow, your hair completely undone. "Happy birthday" she joked. "Sorry" she apologized. "Did it work though?" She smirked. "Fuck yes" you smiled. "I'd do it all over again" you fluttered your lashes, grabbing her tatted arm, leaving a trail of kisses.

"Fuck"

___________________________________

Round 2 but REVERSED. Sorry it was so rushed this is not my best and it was so difficult I'm never writing smut again (I definitely will) sorry it sucked though😕✋

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #reading #the last of us #tlou #tlou2 #ellie smut #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #smut

[jimhines]

2022 Writing Income

It’s that time again – for fifteen years now I’ve been writing an annual blog post about my income as a writer. Money tends to be an uncomfortable, even taboo topic, but I think it’s important to help counter the myths that we’re all multimillionaires living in Glass Onion-style mansions. (Side note: If anyone wants to pay millions of dollars for my book, I’ll happily update this blog post from my private island mansion.)

Remember, every writer’s career is different, and I’m only one data point.

Prior Years: Here are the annual write-ups going back to 2007: 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021.

In 2016, instead of a personal income write-up, I did a survey of almost 400 novelists about their income.

My Background: I’m a primarily “traditionally published,” U.S.-based SF/F author with 15 books in print from major New York publishers. The first of those books came out from DAW in 2006. I have an agent, and have been with them since about 2004.

I’ve self-published a middle grade fantasy and a few short collections. I’ve also sold about 50 short stories to different magazines and anthologies.

I’ve never hit the NYT or USA Today bestseller lists.

I’m currently the sole parent of a teenager (at home) and a 22-year-old (at college). I have a day job that’s just over half-time, both for the paycheck and the benefits.

2022 in Summary: There’s no gentle way to say this. The last several years have kind of sucked. Losing my wife to cancer in 2019 completely derailed my writing. I was hoping 2022 would be a comeback year, but life had other plans…

I did write and sell two new short stories and one nonfiction piece, which was nice. I’ve got a finished middle grade book that’s been on submission for a while. I finished a standalone fantasy that’s been sitting with my publisher for a while.

Normally, my editor is pretty quick about responding, but last year wasn’t normal for DAW, either. DAW was acquired by Astra House. A lot of their time and energy went into that deal. I’m hoping for the best, but things still haven’t settled into the new “normal.”

Last year did see the release — finally — of Terminal Peace, the third book in the Janitors of the Post-Apocalypse series. I’m thrilled and relieved to see that book in print, but it came out right in the middle of the Astra House acquisition, which may have impacted things like promotion and publicity.

I also finished the first draft and started revising a new standalone middle grade fantasy with series potential.

2022 Income: The biggest check was the publication payment for Terminal Peace. All total, before taxes and various expenses, the writing brought in $13,957.16. While that’s absolutely nothing to sneer at, and I’m grateful for the success, it’s also a dropoff from the past couple of years. To be blunt, if you look at the cumulative graph, things have been slumping a bit.

Income Breakdown:

Patreon has been a small but steady and helpful source of income. My thanks to everyone for that!

As usual, my U.S. novels are the biggest piece of the pie. The short fiction category is a bit higher this year, thanks to those two new stories. I didn’t self-publish anything new in 2022, but if that middle grade book doesn’t sell, I’d like to publish that one later this year.

Novels (U.S. editions): $8,542.83

Novels (Non-U.S. editions): $473.25

Self-Published: $1158.24

Short fiction: $892.86

Audio: $521.04

Patreon: $1668.94

Other: $700

I mentioned earlier that things have been in a bit of a slump, and I need to focus on breaking out of that. Some things I can’t currently control. Tomorrow I could wake up to an offer from DAW on the book they’ve got, and maybe an email from my agent that the middle grade title he’s been shopping around went to auction and got a six-figure advance. But I can’t make these things happen.

Priority #1 is to keep writing. If I’m not doing that, other goals are pretty much moot.

Priority #2 is to figure out some alternate options. It may be time to put more time and effort into self-publishing as a complement to my traditionally published work.

The biggest thing making me anxious is that I’m pretty much out of contract. The paperback of Terminal Peace comes out this year, but for the first time in about 15 years, I don’t have the security, the luxury, or the deadlines of a signed contract. In some ways, this is freeing: I can write whatever I want. But there’s no guarantee as to when things will see print. Submitting to the traditional publishers is a long, slow process…

From talking to other writers who’ve been doing this a while, I’ve learned that pretty much every career has its ups and downs. Personal, pandemic, and publisher issues have been a bit of a perfect storm for me these past few years, but I’m not going anywhere. After 27 years as a writer, I’m excited to see what comes next.

Wrap Up:

I hope this has been helpful. As always, feel free to share the post and/or ask questions.

[neonghostlights]

Chapter Three: Reflections, A Bench and Boardwalk Lights

A/N: I haven't been feeling very sure about my writing lately. Sorry if this sucks. Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Eddie Munson left you behind to chase his dreams before suddenly disappearing. When he shows up 5 years later, will he be able to work his way back into your heart?

Warnings: Discussion of past drug use and addiction, Abandonment, Mention of Heart attack and health issues, Very brief mention of Medication, Cussing, If I missed anything please let me know, 18+ Only Minors DNI

Word Count: 4.5k

Series Masterlist

You would hate to admit the amount of time you stood in front of the mirror. 

It had been several hours since you had spoken to Eddie outside the conference room earlier that day. It had been enough time to have the chance to squeeze in a nap, order some room service to fuel yourself, and to call Wayne to check on him. 

You kept the conversation with Wayne short to not reveal the massive shock that you’ve had since being here. You hung up the phone with guilt heavy on your chest. It felt like you were lying to him by not telling him everything but it was for his sake and yours. You thought it would be best to break the news to him about Eddie when you were with him in Hawkins since you weren’t sure how he would take it. 

You didn’t know if you could handle another scare with Wayne.

By the way the conversation on the phone went, it was impossible to tell if you were able to convince him that nothing was wrong and you were having a good time. You had to remember that Wayne was the man that single handedly raised Eddie and was always able to see through his bullshit. 

You applied some more chapstick to your lips. It felt like you were a teenager again. Getting all dolled up to see your crush for a late night rendezvous. If you had a net, you would trap those pesky butterflies that were fluttering about in your gut. 

You hadn’t brought many casual clothes with you on the trip. Just some jean shorts and a t-shirt just in case you did decide to sneak away to the beach while you were here. You were glad you decided to bring them so you wouldn’t have to go down there and meet him in your professional work clothes. That would have been awkward. 

It was just Eddie afterall, the guy who had taken care of you during a violent bout of food poisoning from the restaurant he took you to for your one year anniversary all those years ago. 

If you two weren’t already close after one year, then that surely took care of it. 

Despite the butterflies, you had mentally gone back and forth the whole time you got ready on if you wanted to actually go down to meet Eddie or not. Part of you thought that maybe you didn’t want to hear what he had to say, afraid that it would ruin the vision of Eddie that you had held onto for so many years. Would what you learned tonight destroy all of the sweet memories you two had shared? Prior to the break up things had gone so well. Yeah, Eddie was immature and flighty at times but he always made it up to you in his charming way.  There was no doubt in your mind that you had loved him despite everything. 

You wondered if the years and distance had given your mind a better version of Eddie than he actually was. 

A part of you raged at the thought of leaving this hotel tomorrow morning without giving him a piece of your mind.

You hated having to wonder this, but would he really care if you told him how much he affected Wayne’s health? 

The old Eddie you knew would care. He would be horrified to hear what had happened. In reality though, you didn’t know this new Eddie at all. 

Who was he now? You didn’t see a ring on his finger down at the restaurant but that doesn’t mean you didn’t miss it. Was he married now? Did he have kids? A family? A lot can happen in five years as you were well aware. 

Did he create a whole new life while you were mourning him? 

The reminder that he is now a stranger wearing a familiar face made you decide that you would not go down to talk to him. 

It was after nine o’clock by the time you changed your mind. Again. 

You were running fifteen minutes late and it had taken a lot of back and forth to talk yourself  into leaving the room.

The sandals on your feet echoed against the polished floor as you speed walked to the elevator. What if you had wasted so much time upstairs arguing with your reflection in the hotel mirror that you had missed your one and only chance at answers?

You pushed the lobby button to the elevator repeatedly once you made it inside, hoping that would make it move faster. The elevator jolted as it caught up to your button pushing, making your stomach flip as it descended. 

You practically ran out of the automatic doors when it dinged to let you know you reached the lobby. The poor traction on your shoes caused your feet to go sliding for a moment before regaining your footing and speed walking into the vast room.

The polished man working behind the reception desk gave you a strange look. You gave him one back. This might be a fancy hotel with a lot of business people, but this town was also a beach destination in California. You standing in the lobby clutching your chest and panting definitely wasn’t the weirdest thing he had ever seen. 

The enormous lobby was practically empty except for a few wandering people either coming in or leaving. Your eyes darted back and forth, hoping that Eddie hadn’t left because you were late. 

Finally, you spotted a pair of denim clad legs sticking out from the side of a chair across the room. You shuffled forward, wiping your hands on your shirt to combat the clamminess.

“Eddie?” You asked with a shaky voice, still breathless from your rushing. 

He whipped his head around in the high back chair, trying to get a good look at you. Once he confirmed it was you, he stood quickly. 

“Hey,” he greeted you. He was dressed the same as when you had seen him earlier in the day. It was funny how he looked good dressed up in his waiter uniform but also dressed down like this. The younger version of you, the one that you had been fighting all evening, felt their heart skip a beat. 

“Hey. Sorry I’m late.”

“Yeah. No problem,” he said as he fiddled with the rings on his hands, the same ones from five years ago. “There’s a spot we can go to talk if you want?” He asked as he eyed a few men in suits that walked through the lobby past you. 

“Close by?” You trusted Eddie enough to know he wouldn’t allow you to be harmed, but you weren’t sure about running around the streets at night in a strange city. 

“Yeah, right down the street.” He must have noticed your wariness because then he said, “If that’s okay with you? We can stay here if you want.” 

“No. It’s fine. We can go. Lead the way,” you gestured your arms in front of you, prompting him to show you where to go. 

And with that, you let Eddie lead you out of the hotel. 

The walk to wherever you were going was silent besides the sound of people around you and honking car horns. 

The hotel was located in a busy beach district. You think that’s how these conferences get so many people to come, by promising them a relaxing day at the beach but instead you spend most of your time locked in a meeting room. 

The closer you got to the beach, you could see the pier ablaze with activity. A ferris wheel spun around with bright flashing lights and the smell of popcorn and fried food permeated the air making your mouth water. 

You thought at first that maybe that was where Eddie was taking you to, but instead of ending up on the pier he took you down to the right where a bench sat on the boardwalk. 

The site of the attractions on the pier  made you think of the time you and Eddie had gone to the annual Hawkins carnival. He was so funny then, so lighthearted. Nothing like the quiet anxious stranger that walked tensely beside you. You remember laughing so hard with him that your side would hurt. That night at the fair, he had kissed you when the ferris wheel reached the top. It wasn’t the first kiss you two had shared, but it was the sweetest, the taste of cotton candy and young love melting on both of your tongues. 

You let out a sigh at the thought. Life used to be so simple. Love used to be a hopeful concept to you. Now, you were ashamed to admit you were bitter. You hadn’t been on a real date in forever. Besides the occasional fling, most of your nights were spent with either Lissa or your cat. 

It was dark out, but people still busied around. A few coming and going from the pier while others were on night time walks that were well illuminated by the boardwalk lights.

The ocean was too dark to get a good look at, but you could see the sand glittering like little stars, reflecting the lights around them. You could hear the waves crashing loudly, battling the noises of the tourists around it. 

Eddie sat beside you on the bench, silent for a moment before speaking. “I should have brought you here during the day. I remember back then you always wanted to see the ocean. I didn’t know if you had the chance to go yet or not…” He trailed off. 

“Nope. This is my first time,” you admitted. 

“Sorry,” he apologized. You wanted to ask what for, but you weren’t sure even he knew the reason. “Figured you would’ve come out here with your boyfriend earlier.” 

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. Of course he had to bring up Vance. Vance that you were sure was knocking on your hotel room door by now since you told him you were going to bed early and definitely not going out to meet a certain pretty, long haired waiter. You weren’t shocked when Vance admitted he heard the conversation between you and Eddie when he asked you to meet earlier. After some persuading, Vance had gone out with your boss and a few other coworkers for dinner and he was probably back at the hotel by now. 

Eddie caught on to your eye roll. “What?”

“You haven’t seen me in five years and you're more worried about my boyfriend than me,” you said with a shrug. 

“I just didn’t think that guy would be your type.”

Funny because Vance had said the same thing about Eddie back at the restaurant. You wanted to laugh, but you also didn’t want to let Eddie in on the joke. 

“I guess you don’t know my type anymore, Eddie,” you replied. 

He winced. “Yeah, guess you’re right. How have you been though?”

This time you did let out a laugh. “Cut the bullshit pleasantries, Eddie. Where the hell have you been? We all thought you were dead.”

Eddie took a deep breath of the saltwater air. “It’s a long story.”

“I think we have some time,” you said, not mentioning that you had a morning flight and actually didn’t have that much time. But if you rushed him, he might not give you the whole story. If it came down to it then you would just have to sleep on the airplane. 

“Right, well. You remember when I left Hawkins to come out here to California because that lady at The Hideout promised she could help us make it big?”

You nodded, bitterness brewing in your veins. When he had mentioned her when he was breaking up with you, he had said she promised them the world. Over the years, you wondered if he followed her for more than that. You wondered if there had been something else going on between them when he left. 

“Yeah. That was bullshit,” he started, pulling you out of your thoughts. “We came out to LA and it was okay for a couple of months. Me and the rest of the band were all crashing together and it was a lot of fun. Until we realized that she had stolen our money and took off. The guys headed back to Hawkins after that,” he explained. 

“Wayne called me when that happened. Right before I left school for winter break. He told me all the guys came back to Hawkins because they got scammed but you didn't come with them and it had been a few months without you,” you informed him. 

“I was going to come back with them at first but then I realized how much of a disappointment I would be if I did. I figured I could stay out here for just a few months longer and give it a shot on my own. But that didn’t work out..” he trailed off. 

“Why didn’t you call and tell anyone that? You could have at least written a damn letter. Like I just said, we thought you were dead,” you said harshly. His excuses weren’t good enough for you. 

“The plan always was to make it big and come back and get you. I need you to know I really planned on coming back for you. To me it wasn’t a break up, I just needed to focus on making all of our lives better. I watched Wayne struggle with bills all of the time and you were so damn responsible for the both of us. I didn’t want to hold you back anymore and that’s exactly what would have kept happening if I stayed. It wasn’t fair to either of you for me to sit around and do nothing anymore. It had been on my mind a lot at that time so when we got the offer I jumped on it. I thought I would get all this money and I could prove to you and Wayne that I wasn’t stupid after all,” he let out a dry laugh that told you what he was thinking wasn’t funny at all. “When it became pretty obvious I wasn’t getting anywhere and I was about to call it quits and come home, I got mixed up with a bad crowd in LA.”

You wanted to tell him that he was never stupid. He was creative, smart, and wonderful. But your mind couldn’t get past what he meant by getting in with a bad crowd. 

“How bad of a crowd?”

“Drugs,” he admitted after a brief silence, searching your face to see your reaction. 

Your heart sunk all the way to your gut while your blood chilled. You couldn’t tell if it was the ocean breeze causing you to shiver or the heaviness of what he was telling you. Eddie noticed your goosebumps and stripped off his leather jacket, handing it over for you to slip on. You didn’t fight him on it. The warmth felt so good surrounding you when you put it on. 

Eddie had dealt drugs back in Hawkins but that was just weed. He never messed with anything else. 

“What kind of drugs?” you asked, your voice shaking from your shock. 

“I don’t really want to get into that. They aren’t important any more.” 

You nodded, allowing him to start talking again. He seemed okay now but if it was that bad for him that he couldn’t come home, then what all did he go through out here?

“I’m clean now,” he said quickly. He must’ve seen where your thoughts were going. 

“I’m proud of you. And I’m so sorry you went through that. I just want you to know neither me or Wayne thought you were a disappointment. We just wanted you to come back.” And you meant it. Eddie looked at you like he didn’t believe it but then you saw it, the hint of sadness in his eyes. You wondered how long it had been since someone told him they were proud of him.

“It was bad for a few years. I didn’t realize how bad it was until one day I saw this damn ladybug.” 

“A ladybug?” You asked, not following what he was talking about. 

“Remember that one time we were sitting out on the picnic tables by the trailer?  You were trying to get me to study for some test. And I told you it didn’t matter because I was going to fail anyways? Well right after I said that, a ladybug landed on my nose. I tried to squash it but you yelled at me and told me it was supposed to mean goodluck.”

You nodded, vaguely remembering that day. It was funny seeing Eddie flailing from a harmless little bug. 

“I saw a ladybug and it made me think of you,” he admitted sheepishly. “I remembered what you said and I took it as a sign. I guess it kind of brought me back to reality a bit. After that, my buddy I had met when I first got here helped me get clean, get a job, and basically that’s what I’ve been doing since,” he explained like it was that simple. It was not that simple. 

“How long have you been clean?” You asked, scared to know the answer. 

“A little bit over a year,” he admitted. “I’ve been working at the hotel restaurant ever since.”

You weren’t sure what to say. You were angry that Eddie had gone through that, but also so proud that he made it out. 

Eddie took your speechlessness as a sign to keep going. “I still didn’t call after that because I didn’t want you or Wayne to know what I did and what I got into. I figured you would think that I just started over out here. I didn’t want you to think I was dead, but I also didn’t want to admit how much of a god damn failure I am. And I remembered how mad you were at me and how much I hurt you and I thought that you would just be better off without me in your life at all. ”

“You are not a failure.” You shook your head forcefully. “When you didn’t come back I blamed myself. I am so mad at you still, Eddie. I would’ve come down here in a heartbeat and helped you.”

Guilt pounded at you. There were times you had been hard on Eddie to get his shit together. You didn’t realize you were hurting him instead of helping him. 

You couldn’t help but feel like this was all your fault. 

Eddie sighed, leaning his head back and looking at the sky before he shook his head at your words. “I know you would have but you didn’t need to see me like that. You still have every right to be mad at me though.”

“I know.” You sighed. 

Eddie smiled at your answer. “I couldn’t believe it when I saw you at that table. I couldn’t believe that you were here. After all this time going back and forth on whether or not to go home and you just show up here.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I knew you’d be successful. I mean, what’ve you been up to? What’s your life like now?”

You shook your head, becoming angry again because this whole conversation he hasn’t asked about the one person who is supposed to be the most important to him. “You’re not even going to ask how your uncle is doing?”

Eddie sputtered for a moment. “Do you know how Wayne is doing?”

You looked back at him wide eyed. “What do you mean? Of course I know how Wayne is doing. Who do you think has been taking care of him since you left?”

It was a low blow. And Wayne didn’t exactly need taking care of. But it was still the truth. Eddie left and you stepped up to the plate. 

“What do you mean taking care of him? Is he alright?” Eddie sounded frantic now as he leaned closer to you. 

“He’s fine,” you said calmly. “But he’s got some health issues now.”

“Like?”

You fumbled, not sure how to break the news to Eddie. “About a year and a half after you disappeared, I got a phone call in the middle of the night because Wayne decided he was going to drive out to LA and find you himself without telling anyone. He made it all the way to Colorado before he had a heart attack on the side of the road. It was mild. He’s fine. I get him his medicine once a month. I make sure he goes to all of his doctors appointments. He had to cut back hours at the plant so I help him with his bills even though he fights me on it every time. I even tried to get him to move to Indianapolis to be closer to me just in case but he won’t because he’s afraid if you come back you won’t know where to find him and I just-” The strange look on Eddie’s face made you stop your rambling. 

“You do all of that for him?” His voice was breathy like he couldn’t believe it. 

“Of course I do. I wasn’t just going to abandon him too.”

Eddie nodded sadly as he processed your words, knowing that you weren’t wrong. “Does he know?”

“No. I talked to him earlier to check on him but I couldn’t tell him over the phone. I have to do it gently.”

Eddie dropped his head in his hands from shame.“I don’t know how to thank you for taking care of him when I couldn’t. I’ll make it up to the both of you, I promise. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt more than they already were. He’s really okay though?” He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. You could see the tears shining in his eyes, illuminated from the lights around you. 

“He just needs to take it easy, but you know how he is,” you admitted with a shrug. 

“I really thought he would be okay without me…”

“He is okay. He just misses you, Eddie. Promise me if you make things right with him that you won’t just disappear and break his heart all over again. I don’t think he can take it.” 

You wanted to add that you couldn’t take it if he broke your heart again too. But he didn’t owe you anything. 

“I won’t. I promise I’ll make it right. Seeing you here was the sign I needed. I’ll fix this…” He trailed off looking at you with a thoughtful expression. “Besides taking care of Wayne, tell me about your life now,” he requested. 

So you did. You told him about your job. Your best friend, Lissa, and your cat, Junie, that had the attitude of a teenager. You told him about your apartment in Indianapolis that you might have to give up to move back to Hawkins eventually to be closer to your parents and Wayne. You told him that you were trying to get a promotion at work, hence why you came on this trip anyways. And lastly, you told him that Vance was not your boyfriend. 

“Wait so that asshole that kept touching you last night was not your boyfriend?” He asked incredulously. 

“No. Just a coworker that can’t take a hint.” You shrugged. 

Eddie shook his head, his jaw tensed and hands in fists on his lap. “You want me to talk to him?”

“I have to work with him. You’ll just make it worse. Besides, don’t you have a girlfriend out here or something?” 

Eddie looked at you confused. That question had really come out of nowhere. “Of course I don’t.”

You hated to admit you were surprised but also relieved. “What about that lady that you followed out here? You two never had a thing?” You hated how forced your nonchalance sounded. You knew he could read right through it. 

Eddie let out a laugh. “Baby, no. There was never anything like that. I did tell you she was like sixty years old right?”

Baby. He had called you baby. A jolt traveled through your heart at his words. Did he really mean it when he said it or was it just a cruel slip of the tongue? 

“No,” you admitted slowly. 

Eddie shook his head. “It was just business until she stole from us. Nothing more. I promise.”

You looked down at the ground instead of saying anything else. 

“When do you leave?” He finally asked. 

“I have a flight in the morning,” you said, looking at him to see what he would say. 

“Shit. And it’s getting late. I’ll walk you back,” announced before reluctantly standing, sticking his hand out for you to grab and pull yourself up.

The walk back wasn’t as silent as the walk there. You both moved slowly, neither of you wanting to admit that you didn’t want the night to end. Eddie took his time pointing out which stores were scams and which ones he had funny stories about. He also told you how to get to his apartment from the hotel even though you would never have the chance to go there. You felt like he was telling you just in case. 

 There was something between you and Eddie that you couldn’t deny. It was obvious that five years hadn’t healed you like you thought it would. Especially since you were able to intensely feel all of the emotions you had been locking away by just being near Eddie for a short amount of time. 

You wondered if Eddie could feel it too. The spark in the air that was mixing with the salt water. You were still pissed at the situation but you wanted to understand what he went through. You wanted to be patient with him like you used to be before the world gave you a hard shell. 

Eddie escorted you back up to your hotel room, letting you know he’ll be fine walking back to his apartment alone.  You both paused in front of the room door, neither of you sure what to say next. You stripped off his jacket, handing it back to him even though you wanted to keep it forever. 

You were about to ask him the question, the big ‘now what?’

But before you could, Eddie had pulled you into a bone crushing hug. You were shocked, at first, but found yourself breathing him in and leaning into his embrace. 

“I miss you,” he whispered into the side of your head. His breath blowing over the sensitive skin of your neck gave you chills.

“I miss you too,” you admitted softly. 

He pulled back, taking another look at your face like he was trying to memorize every feature. 

“Do you want to come inside for a little bit?” You asked softly, not ready for the night to end. 

You braced yourself for what he might say.

Your heart fluttered when he said yes. 

#eddie munson au #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson series #eddie munson imagine #eddie stranger things #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem reader #tw drug addiction #tw addiction

[hanniluvi]

( 🚋 ) NOT OUR LAST GOODBYE — KOGA YUDAI FIC

[ DAY THIRTEEN ] of the advent calendar !

( 🚋 ) SYNOPSIS . . . after a heated argument with K, little did you expect that the last time you’d see him would be at his departure, after leaving you in silence for days.

( — ) PAIRING . . . best-friend!k x gn!reader FT. EJ &TEAM

( 🚋 ) GENRE . . . angst lolz, misunderstandings, friends 2 …?

( — ) WARNINGS . . . INSPIRED BY THE MOVIE “20TH CENTURY GIRL” (sorry guys), k and reader kinda frustrating ..

( 🚋 ) NOTE . . . Hi!! Super late Sorry!! but originally this wasn’t even gonna be angst if i be honest … but train station … 20th century girl … so yes!!! also pretend the pics above give christmassy vibes LMAO it js seemed right to keep it like this and yes i can hear u quivering miles away Ms Sonata 😊

Once again, and unsurprisingly, K had missed yet another hangout. You really tried waiting and being considerate, but not even him in sight. Seated alone in the cafe with two drinks you bought with your own money, frustration grew. The plans had been made two weeks prior, and despite K's assurances, he was nowhere to be found.

Unable to bear it any longer, you navigated to your contact list and pressed on his icon, hoping for an explanation. Anxiously biting your nails, you waited through two beeps until he answered with a casual, "Hello?" Your scoff was loud enough for him to hear, a response to his nonchalant greeting after ditching another hangout without any warning.

"Again?"

"Huh?" Did he genuinely believe he had the right to question you after what just happened?

"Are you serious right now? You just missed another hangout, K." His mumbled apology reached your ears, sounding like he was cursing himself for even forgetting. "Damn it—I'm so sorry, YN. Can I make it up to you tomorrow?"

"You've got to be kidding me." You couldn’t help the anger slowly rising in you. “I’m here, waiting in the cold for you just to not show up again?” The hot air escaped your mouth as you scoffed. “You know, you shouldn’t suggest ideas for a winter hangout if you’re just going to not appear.”

"It—it just slipped my mind! I'm sorry," K explained, but you weren't buying it. You've let him slide too many times.

“It just ‘slipped out of your mind’? We planned his hangout 2 weeks prior—you even promised to show up today! Do you think I’m really going to buy that bullshit?”

“I know, I shouldn’t have done that but—”

“You say this all the time. What the hell have you been doing?”

“Listen—I just…” You could hear him trail off, as if restraining himself from saying more. What could he be hiding that's so important? “I’ve been busy.”

“And so have I? But I've always spared time to hang out with you and show up to everything you schedule. And suddenly you can't show up to something we both agreed on? K, you're slowly becoming distant with me.”

“It's not like I'm trying to!” He lowered his tone, recognizing his anger taking hold. “I just couldn’t do it today. It’s just—it’s not something I can tell you that easily.”

“I'm your best friend, what the hell do you mean?”

“I—I can't say. Not right now.”

“You really have to be an idiot if you think I'm gonna believe that. This friendship can’t work if you’re like this.” You pushed your hair back in frustration. "I get it, you're busy. But this is a pattern, K. A pattern I can't keep ignoring," you stated firmly.

"I know, YN. I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you," K continued apologizing.

"I've heard enough apologies, K. You're not the only one with a busy life," you replied, frustration evident in your voice.

"Please, just give me another chance."

But the more he apologized, the more irritated you became. "I need some space, K. Figure out what's going on with you. We'll talk later."

“But YN—”

“Just leave me alone, will you?” You angrily said, clearly sick of his pleading. “You clearly have no problem doing so, it seems like, anyways.” Without another word, you hung up, leaving K with the dial tone and a realization that he screwed up real bad.

And you’ve made it your goal to make him feel how you felt every time he ditches you.

DAY ONE. K attempted to act as if everything was okay, anticipating that you'd eventually give in and talk to him as you always did. Little did he know, you were determined to make him feel the weight of his actions—even if it felt harsh.

“Hey YN,” he greeted, met with your silent response.

“You need help?” you simply shook your head.

“Wanna go together?” He tried once more, but you walked away without a word.

Undoubtedly, a sense of guilt crept in, but the memory of that night kept replaying in your mind, fueling the anger you harbored toward him. K seemed to notice the shift, creating awkward moments and growing distant—much like that regrettable day.

You didn't care; in your eyes, it was deserved.

DAY THREE. You're enduring the silence longer than you initially thought. Ignoring him, refusing to even cross paths, felt strange considering how inseparable you used to be. School had become a bit dull without him, but you were determined to hold out for a week…right?

“Are you seriously not going to talk to him?” EJ asked, straw twirling between his fingers. “You're really creeping me out.” He says, as if you aren’t supposed to be the one creeped out by him instead for drinking an Iced Americano during the first days of winter.

“What do you mean?” you blew onto your cup, closing the lid back to take a sip of your coffee.

“You never hold grudges like this—what's up with you?”

“Okay...but he messed up.”

“Did you hear him out?” EJ maintained eye contact, sipping his drink. “Not blaming you or anything, just wondering.”

“Well…no.”

“YN…”

“Well—if he wanted to, he would’ve reached out by now!” you tried defending yourself, but he was already sighing.

“You’re both too stubborn, aren’t you guys?” EJ shook his head, smiling a little. “Give him another chance—oh look, he’s right there,” he pointed, making you whip your head around, only to turn back to EJ when your eyes accidentally met.

“I have to go,” you hurriedly grabbed your bag, saying a quick goodbye. “Thanks, EJ!”

“YN, your drink—” But you were already running off, footsteps following closely behind. You wanted him to reach out, yet here you were, fleeing and feeling like a loser. But facing him seemed unbearable in your current state of embarrassment.

“YN,” a familiar voice called out, a hand on your arm, pulling you toward him. His warmth had such a contrast from the chilling weather today. You turned around, finding K with a serious expression. “Can we please talk?”

You wanted to be petty. For some reason, having K reach out first, you weren't going to make it easy for him. “I don't think there's anything we need to talk about.”

“Can you stop being like that and just talk to me?”

“Like what? Just some lame excuse about why you're missing time with me?”

“It's not useless—” K scoffed, running his free hand through his hair, locking eyes with you. “Do you really think I'm just here to tell you the same stuff I've been saying all the time?”

“So you've been lying?”

“That's not what I'm trying to say—”

“I've heard enough.” You tried to pull away from his grasp, but he held on, disappointment evident in his eyes. “YN, what is so hard about sparing a minute of your day? Why is it so hard for you to fucking listen?”

You took a deep breath. “Me? How about you, huh? Have you ever listened to me? Do you think you have the right to say that to me with all this shit you’re doing to me?”

“YN—”

“Here’s your answer then. Because I've spent so much time waiting for you to explain, and you only choose to do it now.” You give him a stern look. “I’m tired of hearing your bullshit—your constant, useless reassurances when you clearly don’t keep your word!”

“I'm tired of waiting for you.”

“YN! Please–”

You turned on your heel, determined to walk away and put an end to the conversation. As you took your first steps, a part of you hoped he would chase after you, while another part was tired of hoping for something that seemed uncertain.

K stood there, conflicted. He debated in his mind whether to let you go or chase after you once again. He longed to. He longed to reveal everything to you. Yet, was it the right moment? Were you even in the proper state of mind to even grasp onto his words? Letting out a substantial sigh, K pivoted, reluctant as he was, and proceeded to walk away from you, leaving you both to walk on two different pathways.

DAY FIVE. K hasn't been showing up to class for the past two days. You felt guilty – you didn't know why, but you had this nagging feeling that it was somehow your fault. EJ quickly picked up on your changed demeanor, his face reflecting concern. As you walked home together, he blurted out, "Did you say goodbye to him?"

You turned to him, confusion etched on your face. You had no idea what EJ was getting at, and he wasn't sure if you even understood the gravity of his words. "Say goodbye to who?"

"To K...?" he hesitated, confirming his suspicions when your expression shifted to one of shock; you were completely unaware. EJ wished he could vanish on the spot.

"EJ, that's not funny." You looked at him, not seeing his joking face he’d usually have. “You’re joking…right?”

"Well, I'm being serious. I'm not the type to joke about that."

“Why did I have to say goodbye?”

“He’s leaving today, YN. Did he not tell you?”

“Can we please talk?” You didn’t hear him out.

“YN, what is so hard about sparing a minute of your day? Why is it so hard for you to fucking listen?” He wanted to tell you something important. It was your fault.

“YN! Please–” It was your fault. All yours. No one to blame this time.

“You mean like…right now?” You looked at EJ, hoping you still had time to make things right with K. With glossy eyes, you could see his hurt expression, knowing what you had put yourself through. “Yeah. About to leave at the train station nearby.”

“I have to go.”

“YN! Be careful; you might get hurt–” You didn’t care. You didn’t care if you were going to get scrapes on your legs, you didn’t care if EJ was yelling your name—nothing could hurt more than losing a best friend that you didn’t leave off on good terms.

You ran as fast as you could, disregarding the chill in the air and the sting in your lungs. The train station came into view, and there he was—K, standing with a suitcase, staring into the distance. Your heart raced as you approached him, a mix of relief and fear coursing through your veins.

"K!" you called out, breathless.

He turned to you, surprise and uncertainty flickering in his eyes. "YN? What are you doing here?"

"I... I heard you were leaving," you panted, trying to catch your breath. "I had to see you before you go."

He sighed, his gaze dropping to the ground. "I messed up, YN. I messed up big time, and I'm sorry."

"Let's talk about it," you urged, reaching out to touch his arm.

"I thought it was too late for a conversation," your heart shattered upon hearing those words. "But it was my fault anyway. I should've been truthful with you."

"Quit blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault—it was mine. I should've been more empathetic." Tears threatened to spill over as you maintained intense eye contact with him, your insides twisting with emotion.

“I didn’t mean to avoid you,” K began, his eyes searching yours for understanding.

“I know I messed up too,” you admitted. “I should have listened instead of shutting you out. I should’ve not said those things to you either.”

He nodded, a sad smile playing on his lips. “We both made mistakes, didn't we? But, let’s not worry too much about it—we’ll get over it like we always do. I’m leaving for a while, but I don’t want us to end like this. I care about you—damn, I even like you, YN," he said, causing you to gasp a little. "I’m sorry if this is too sudden—I just don’t know if I’d be able to tell you this any other day."

As you stood there, absorbing his unexpected confession, the reality of the situation sank in. "K, why didn't you tell me earlier?" you questioned, a mix of emotions clouding your mind.

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I was scared, afraid it would ruin our friendship. But now, facing the distance, I couldn't hold it back any longer."

“K—” The train's arrival interrupted your conversation, and K looked at you with hopeful eyes. "I'll be back, YN. Let's talk when I return, okay?" he pleaded.

You nodded, and he pulled you into a hug, and for a moment, it felt like everything might be okay. “You should go,” K whispered, releasing you from the embrace.

“Take care, okay?” you said, holding back tears.

“You too, YN. I hope we can figure things out when I come back,” he said, a mixture of hope and uncertainty in his eyes.

"You promise to come back?"

"You know me. Who am I to fail to keep my promises—well, besides about the hangouts," he joked, attempting to lighten the mood. You smiled, finding comfort in his smile. "Then can you promise me on this one, and try not to break it?"

"I promise," he extended his pinky finger, waiting for you to interlock with him. Once you did, the warmth of his hand—similar from last time—transferred to yours, making it such a bittersweet moment. He brought his hand closer, kissing the side of your hand. "Hope that wasn't too sudden."

He smiled at your blushing face, releasing your hand. He had noticed how little layers you were wearing—did you really run like this just to see him? Taking the scarf of his neck, he wrapped it around yours, looking at you lovingly. "I'll do something sweeter next time. See you later, yeah?" You nodded, and he finally carried his bags to the train.

As K stepped onto the train, you stood there, gazing into his tear-filled eyes. How badly he didn’t want to cry in front of you. Waving, you declared, "I like you too, K!"

His heart warmed slightly. "I can't hear you," he teased, as he would've done by your side. Smiling, you shouted, "I like you so much!"

The doors closed, and you glimpsed K crying. Witnessing his tears always tugged at your heartstrings, and your own tears flowed uncontrollably. The train started moving, and as K disappeared from view, you stood there with tears streaming down your face. The reality of his departure hit you hard. "Come back soon," you whispered to the wind, as if it could carry your message to him.

Your heart felt heavy, and you couldn't shake off the overwhelming sense of loss. As you wiped away your tears, you realized how much K meant to you and how the abrupt end to your argument had turned into a farewell.

Walking away from the train station, you carried the weight of mixed emotions. The confession, the unspoken feelings, and the promise of a future conversation lingered in the air. Most importantly, the emptiness lingered, but the promise of a reunion kept you going. Determined to make things right when he returned, you whispered to yourself,

“I’ll wait for you, K.”

ADVENT CALENDAR MLIST — @en-dream @i-yeseo @yizhoutv @yuma-is-mine @wtfhyuck @sansfransisco

#⛄️ — advent calendar 23’ ! #k-labels #kflixnet #k-films #&team #&team k #&team headcanons #&team scenarios #&team imagines #&team angst #&team x reader #&team ff #k headcanons #k scenarios #k imagines #k x reader #k ff #k angst #kpop headcanons #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop oneshots #kpop ff #kpop x reader #kpop angst #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 8

Eminem x FemReader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : Y/N reconnects with an old friend and her sobriety is seriously challenged.

Tags : Angst, Comfort, Fluff

CW : Bullying, Alcohol, Drugs, Mentions of nudity

TWO WEEKS LATER

To say you had a bad week would be an understatement. It was a terrible one : everything that could go wrong basically did, except for the moments you spent at the studio. 

As it often happened, you missed Simon terribly. You were feeling touch-starved, and you just missed being in a relationship. Granted, you had amazing friends, but it just wasn’t the same. Work wasn’t a piece of cake either. You’d had to attend several faculty events and, as was often the case in academia, almost everyone over-indulged on alcohol. You found yourself missing the days where you could party and dance the night away. You had never been much of a party-girl, but now that you were sober, you missed it sorely. You were supposed to work on your doctoral dissertation but found no motivation to work at all. 

Only three things were able to get you out of your bad mood : the few hours a week you spent at the studio, dinner time every evening with Talia and Jamal, as well as the perspective of seeing an old friend who was coming back to Detroit. 

Two weeks prior, after Marshall brought you back from the studio, you had received a text from an old friend named Cassie. She was the first person you befriended at Michigan State University, four years ago, when you were an exchange student. Your friendship was the living embodiment of “opposites attract”, as she was everything you weren’t : funny, easy-going, sociable, the life of the party. It was also a good partnership : you helped her study and she helped you socialise. She was the one who took you to some parties and showed you cool places in the city. In a way, she was a good influence : she pushed you out of your comfort zone. Whenever you were with her, you found yourself to be more bold. Unfortunately, you hadn’t seen her in a while, as she moved to another state to follow her then-fiancé, now ex-husband. Cassie had texted you to tell you she was coming back to town and that she’d love to see you. Generous as ever, she offered for you to spend a couple of days in her suite at a fancy hotel, promising you a good time and some spa. You were extremely happy to see her again. When she left, you had tried to keep in touch, but she seemed extremely busy. Now though, she was considering coming back to Michigan after a divorce and was actually in town for a job interview. 

Her offer for you to spend a couple of days with her was also a nice way to give Talia and Jamal some space. They would never admit it, but you figured they would appreciate spending some time at the house, just the two of them. There was only one drawback : Talia seemed a bit wary of Cassie. You knew she never liked her, but being the classy lady she was, she refused to drag you into their drama. She simply told you to enjoy yourself. 

On Friday night, you joined Cassie at her hotel, after she was done with her job interview. She seemed ecstatic to see you. 

Ma chériiiiiie, she shrieked as she took you in her arms. It has been so long ! 

I’m so happy to see you, you said sincerely. 

I have planned the most amazing weekend for the two of us, she said giddily. 

Really ? What do you have in mind ? 

First, we’re going to have a nice five stars dinner brought up to our room, and tomorrow, I’m taking you to the Spa, shopping and then, I was thinking we could go to a party together, she explained. 

That is a lot, Cassie…, you said. 

My treat, she assured you. Let my divorce settlement money be useful ! 

I can’t accept that. 

Of course you can ! You’ve done so much for me, baby, it’s time I paid you back a little ! Some people I know are throwing a party and you’re going to love it. 

You hummed. Cassie was a ball of energy, as always. You half expected her to be depressed because of her short marriage that just ended, but she was beaming with happiness. At dinner, she explained that she caught her husband cheating with a colleague. She got a lot of money from the divorce and was ready to move on. She had always been like this : always seeing the positive side of things. During the conversation, the talk shifted to your breakup with Simon, although you didn’t go into much detail as to why the relationship ended. Cassie was your friend but you didn’t want to either bore or worry her by talking about your struggle with pills. If you were being honest, you also didn’t want her to think poorly of you. As amazing as she was, you knew she could be a little judgy, at times. 

It’s a shame that you guys broke up, but maybe it’s better this way, she said. You can do better anyway. 

Do you really think so ? you asked as you bit your lip. 

Of course. I mean, he was great and everything, but I don’t know… You could probably do with someone a little more fun. He was always so serious, she said. 

I don’t know… I liked that about him, you said with a sigh. 

Of course you did, she continued. But I’m sure we can find you someone better. The party I’m taking you to tomorrow will be the perfect place for you to find a man. 

I don’t need to find a man, you scoffed. 

Of course you do, she giggled. It’s been months since the breakup. And knowing the good girl you are, you probably haven’t got any action since. You don’t want spider webs to grow in your vagina, now, do you ? 

You almost choked on your water. God, she could be so straightforward when it came to sex. Or any other topic, for that matter. Once again, she was the complete opposite of you. Anyway, you didn’t bother responding to her comment about the good girl you were. And you were absolutely not going to mention your movie night with Marshall. Thankfully, the conversation shifted once again to another topic. After all, the two of you had a lot of catching up to do. 

You barely got any sleep that night. Not that you weren’t tired from your week - you were actually exhausted - but you spent the whole time talking to Cassie and catching up on her life. This girl had a talent for making life seem exciting and glamorous. She always had things going on, always being the one with the most amazing stories to tell. You felt a little dull, next to her. 

The next day, you started by having a fancy breakfast in bed before she dragged you to do some shopping. The department store is where you noticed she was seriously intent on spending money. She kept on grabbing items, not even bothering to look at the price. Meanwhile, you failed to find anything. You either didn’t like it or it was out of your price range. Eventually, she decided to take matters into her own hands and initiated a makeover session with the pretext that you needed to look fancy for whatever party she wanted to take you to. Of course, it was Cassie, so you weren’t exactly surprised when she told you it would be extra. She insisted that you try on a Sandro black dress, even though you weren’t convinced. It was on the shorter side, with sequins and definitely showed a lot of skin. Not to mention that it was extremely expensive. You liked shopping and dressing up as much as the next girly girl, but you didn’t come from money, so spending $300 on a dress wasn’t something you considered. However, to her, it seemed like it was no big deal. She didn’t even blink when the sales assistant told her about the price. “We’ll take it”, she simply said, before asking for bags and shoes to match the dress. Once again, she spared no expenses. The shoes she selected for you to wear were from Jimmy Choo, costing almost $800, with a matching clutch that was just as expensive. She even went the extra mile and selected a pair of gorgeous diamond earrings to complete the outfit. She was extremely happy with the outfit. So much so that you didn’t really dare tell her that you felt ridiculous in these clothes. It was the least “you” outfit ever. “If Talia could see me, she would laugh in my face”, you thought. But at the same time, Cassie was so generous and confident that you wanted to give it a try. After all, maybe you needed to get out of your comfort zone. After the shopping spree, you went to get pampered at the hotel spa. You both got your hair done, as well as beauty treatments for the face and body. You had to admit it felt good. Plus, she seemed to enjoy giving you the princess treatment. To be fair, you also enjoyed getting it. It wasn’t every day that you could get a massage, a facial and a new hairdo. 

The both of you went back to the room to get ready for the party. You didn’t know much about it, other than the fact that Cassie was extremely excited to go. It was supposed to be held in an exclusive location, with “only the best people, food, music and drinks”. When you stepped out of the bathroom, she clapped and shrieked in excitement. 

You have never looked so sexy, Y/N !!! If I had your ass and your breast, I’d dress like that everyday ! 

You were glad she liked it, although you thought you resembled a Bratz Doll. You hardly ever wore makeup anymore, but there you were, with eyelash extensions, foundation, bold lipstick and, hell, even highlighter on your cheeks. Not to mention the outfit. “The dress is too tight, too short, and the heels are definitely too high”, you thought. 

Are we sure about the heels, Cass ? You asked nervously. I might break an ankle, here… 

You’ll be fine, she said. Plus, God knows I’m not one to criticize, but… You’re way too short to wear anything lower anyway. 

And there was the thing you liked the least about Cass : the way she would sometimes ignore your insecurities and dismiss them. Back when you were in school together, you couldn’t count the times when she would comment on your acne scars, your hair or even your weight. But she was your friend and you knew she meant well. It was her own way to care for you. She had your best interests at heart and she wanted you to be nothing but the best version of yourself. Besides, you knew that she was just as hard on herself. She was constantly under her own pressure to look good, do good and be with good people. But that was what made her thrive, so you figured that, maybe she was right. 

You look stunning and those basketball and NFL players are going to get in line to get your number, she said as she placed a strand of hair behind your ear. 

You look amazing too, you said with a shy smile. 

I know, she giggled. 

But wait… You mentioned… sports players ? Who exactly is going to be there ? Do you know them ? 

You’re getting in your head, baby, she chuckled. I know a few people. As for the others, it’s just a few friends we haven’t made yet. Anyway, I have something for you. 

She grabbed her handbag and took out a vial. 

I know how nervous you can get in social settings. This will help you relax. We are going to have the best night ever, she said with a wink. All you have to do is inhale this. 

She placed the vial in your hand and you looked at her, intrigued. 

What’s that ? You asked. Essential oils ? 

Almost, she hummed. Just trust me, ok ? 

Do you promise it’s nothing weird ? You asked as you bit your lip. 

I would never give you anything dangerous, she said as she rubbed your shoulder. You trust me, right ? 

You nodded with a smile. Of course you trusted her. 

Now, let’s have a glass of champagne, just the two of us before leaving, ok ? We didn't even toast to our reunion last night !!! 

I shouldn’t drink, you said as you avoided her gaze. I’ll have water but go ahead. 

Don’t be a boring, Y/N, she giggled. God, you can be such a dud sometimes. One glass, it won’t kill you. I’m going out of my way for you to have a great time, here. 

You felt your heart strain. You didn’t want to be ungrateful. After all, she was more than generous to you and she did go out of her way for you to have a memorable weekend. You didn’t want her to think you were a dud. Besides… One glass of champagne was ok, right ? It wasn’t as if she was handing you some pills or offering for you to snort cocaine in her hotel room. Plus, it was Cassie, of all people. You took a deep breath and sighed. 

Right. I’m sorry. Champagne sounds lovely, you said. 

She smiled and ordered champagne from room service. When it came, it wasn’t just two glasses : it was a whole bottle. Cassie laughed it off. You had your first sip of alcohol in months. You were never a huge drinker, but you had to admit you sort of missed it. You made small talk as you sipped on your glass and she told you that one of her motives to go to the party was to see a guy she had a small crush on. Some Pistons player, apparently. This made you smile. Cassie had always been quite the seductress, even though she got engaged and married quite young. She was the flirty type, even with you. This was part of her persona, and people were here for it. She was the very definition of irresistible. The girl you befriended, that you knew you could never be. You knew there was nothing wrong with you and, most of the time, you were ok with who you were. As years went by, you had come to appreciate being the rather shy, sometimes dorky girl next door who could be seen as quite cute when she made an effort. You would never be an ethereal beauty like Cassie and you were fine with it. Before you knew it, you were on your third glass of champagne. 

We’d better go, you said with a giggle. I’m on my third glass already. 

You’re right, we’ll have plenty of bubbles to drink when we get to the party anyway, she said. 

Not quite what I meant, Cass… 

Just enjoy the evening, baby ! Now, time for you to use that vial. Just put it close to your nostril and sniff, ok ? she directed. 

You nodded and did as she said. After you were done, she did the same. Less than a minute later, you were filled with a sensation of euphoria and relaxation. 

I don’t know what it is, but this is the shit ! You giggled. 

I know right ? If you feel anxious, just do that again. I promise, you will have a great time ! 

A car took you to the party. It was definitely a fancy event. You didn’t know anyone, but Cassie did, and she introduced you to some people. You ended up discreetly sniffing the magic vial a couple of times, taking some time to relax. Before you knew it, you were standing alone as your friend was in deep conversation with a handsome gentleman who, you guessed, was her crush. 

I can’t believe such a beautiful woman is standing here without a drink, a man said as he placed a glass of champagne in your hand. 

Thank you, you giggled. 

The stranger was quite handsome. He was tall, blonde, with gorgeous hazel eyes. He was dressed in a tux and arbored a charming smile. At that point, you were just a little tipsy and definitely relaxed. You greeted him with a smile and thanked him for the drink. 

May I say you look absolutely stunning, he complimented you. That’s quite an outfit.

Thank you, you said with a smile. You don’t look too bad either. 

I don’t believe we’ve been introduced, yet. I am Jared. 

Nice to meet you, Jared. I’m Y/N, you said as you extended your hand. 

You expected him to shake it but he took you by surprise by kissing it, which made you all giddy. You made small talk and he told you he actually played for the Detroit Lions, taking no offense when you confessed that you had no idea who he was, and that you didn’t watch a lot of football. 

So, what brings you to this fundraiser for the Detroit Sports Teams ? he asked. 

Oh, is that what the event is ? you chuckled. I had no idea. Actually, my friend Cassie brought me here. I was promised champagne and a great time. 

I’ll be honest with you, this fundraiser is mostly an excuse for people to drink and dance, he said as he winked. 

You chortled and kept on talking to him. He was easy-going and very sociable. You could tell he was flirting with you and you liked it. It was very flattering to have such a handsome man take an interest in you. You also began to feel more confident in the outfit Cassie had chosen for you. Some people joined the conversation. Apparently, they also played for the football team. All of these men were good-looking and you found yourself considering getting a season ticket for the games. You would have been more interested in sports if you’d known how great the players looked. Eventually, the conversation turned to sports and you took it as your cue to leave, figuring that if Jared wanted to talk some more, he’d find you in the crowd. You sniffed the vial again and found Cassie. People were starting to dance and she dragged you to the dance floor. Had you been completely sober, she wouldn’t have had a chance, but you were far from it now. Whatever potion she had you inhaling was working its wonders when it came to deprive you of your inhibitions. You were more confident in your moves than ever and you danced with her. The both of you were soon swarmed by an army of suitors and you gladly obliged them when they offered to dance. You were having a great time and it was the magic of Cassie : she managed to turn you into a lovable, sociable creature. Hell, you even gave your number to Jared who had found you on the dancefloor and begged for a dance. He promised to call but, unfortunately, he had to leave. You were having yet another drink and talked to Cassie when her face suddenly changed. 

Holy shit. How do I look ?! she asked. 

You look gorgeous, as always, you giggled. Why ? Is your crush here ? 

Better, she grinned. Look, it’s Eminem !!! 

You turned your head in a dramatic move and saw Marshall talking to a couple of people. He was wearing black jeans, sneakers, a black tee-shirt and the Saint Laurent jacket you liked so much. Far from the tuxedos some men were wearing, but definitely an improvement compared to some of his daily outfits and usual sweatpants. As always, you thought he looked amazing. You were shocked, though. He was the last person you expected to see here. 

He is even hotter in person, she squealed. I have to introduce myself. Come with me, she said as she dragged you across the room. 

Your heart was pounding but you didn’t have time to protest. He saw you arrive, hand in hand with Cassie and his eyes seemed to widen, not that you could be so sure because, at this point, you were drunk. But thankfully, you were also too relaxed to care, thanks to the stuff you had kept on inhaling. 

Hey, Y/N, he said as he gave you a quick hug, looking suspicious. 

Hey handsome, Cassie said seductively. I didn’t realize you knew our beautiful friend here. I’m Cassie. 

Hi Cassie, he said as he politely shook the hand she extended. Yeah, I know Y/N. 

“Or at least, I think I do.”, he added in a lower voice, still staring at you. You smiled at him but his comment left you puzzled. Of course he knew you. You were friends. Why would he say that ? You looked at him as Cassie talked to him, complimenting his music and telling him how insanely talented she thought he was, though you couldn’t remember her listening to hip-hop. Ever. 

Now that I know that you know Y/N, we simply have to hang out. Don’t we, ma chérie ? she said. 

Of course, you said shyly - somewhat uncomfortable that your friend was flirting with your Marshall.

Sure, he said with a blank face. 

I have to go to the bathroom, she said. Y/N, hold my glass, will you ? 

She quickly disappeared and you were left alone with him. You smiled shyly. 

I didn’t know you’d be here, you said in an attempt to make small talk. 

I didn’t know you would be here, he replied. What are you doing here ? 

Same as you, I guess, you giggled. 

I’m here for work, he clarified. 

Oh well, I’m not, you shrugged with a smile. Cassie took me here. By the way… She thinks you’re hot. 

You weren't too sure why you were telling him that. Probably because you did not have much inhibitions anymore. You couldn’t help but chortle at the absurdity of the situation. 

Good for her. Now… Care to explain why you’re clearly drunk and dressed like a ho !? He groaned. 

You opened your mouth to reply but found yourself unable to say anything. Did he just insult you ?! You were about to retort something when Cassie returned from the bathroom. 

Now, Marshall, she said as she took her glass from your hand without even glancing at you, I happen to be free for a dance. 

Yeah, he said. I…

He was cut by someone who came to him before he could even continue. You were still a bit stunned. Cassie, however, shrugged off and took you to the dance floor. 

You’ll have to get him to call me, she giggled as she resumed dancing. 

Y-Yeah, you said, still a bit stunned. 

Dance with me, baby, she said as she took your glass and placed it on a table. 

She took your hand and you soon forgot about Marshall’s insult. You were rolling your hips to the beat of the music. A man placed a hand on your waist and danced with you. It was very sensual and you found yourself a bit giddy and turned on, not too sure why. Cassie was doing the same with another man. At that moment, your soul had left your body. Or maybe you just experienced being raw and free for the first time in forever ? It felt like you were on fire. Cassie gestured for you to come closer. 

You’re having a great time, she laughed. Look at you, all sexy ! 

I feel great, you giggled. I’m super horny, too. 

That’s the poppers, she chuckled. Wanna drive them crazy ? 

Poppers ? Is that what she gave you ? Before you knew it, she was kissing you. You were a bit taken aback but returned the kiss anyway. You liked women as much as men, for sure, but you had never thought of your friend like that. Yet, you found yourself kissing back, because you just felt like it. You were turned on, having a great time, and she was gorgeous, so why not make out with her ? You were laughing as you broke the kiss. Before you knew it, the guy you were dancing with was kissing you. You giggled as you danced with him some more. You had never felt more beautiful and desirable. Your thoughts were interrupted when someone in the crowd grabbed your wrist. Marshall. He didn’t look too happy. 

Come with me, he said firmly. 

Not a chance, you giggled. I’m dancing here. 

No shit, he groaned. Just come, Y/N. 

So that you can insult me again ? I hardly think so, Em, you said as you rolled your eyes. 

That’s not a fucking question, he groaned on your ear as he pulled you closer to him. 

Before you could protest, he was holding your hand, walking you out. Cassie followed you. 

Where are the two of you going ? She asked. 

I’m taking her home, Marshall said curtly. 

Oh… then why don’t you take us both home ? She offered with her seductive signature smile. 

You were stunned and you looked at the two of them. Was she offering… a threesome ?! Your eyes were wide open wide and you felt like a deer in headlights. 

She needs to sleep, Marshall said. 

I’m fine, you groaned as he shot you a death glare. 

Whatever, Cassie said. We can figure out who does what when we get to your place, she added with a wink. 

Oh, I have it all figured out, he assured her. I’m taking Y/N home. You can catch a ride to… wherever it is that you’re going. 

You were about to say something but the room was starting to spin and you almost lost your balance. The heels were definitely too high. 

Careful there, Marshall said as he placed a hand on your waist to secure you. Come on, I’ll take you home. 

Whatever, Cassie sighed. Call me tomorrow, chérie ? 

You nodded and walked out as Marshall was holding you firmly by the hand. The cold, fresh air made you shiver and he sighed before placing his jacket over your shoulders. 

I think someone’s following us, you slurred. 

Yeah, that’s my security, he groaned. Look down, now. 

What ? You asked, a bit lost. 

Fuck. Just look down, he repeated in an annoyed tone. 

You did, as you thought that maybe he was going to show you something, but you saw a flash from afar. Someone was snapping pictures as you got out of the event. Your head was still ducked as Marshall led you to a van that was waiting. He helped you get in before entering the car as well, followed by the two security guards. You felt insanely small, as they were huge and took a lot of space in the car. He told the driver to go to his place. 

You’re not taking me home ? You asked. 

I’m taking you where I can keep an eye on you, he grunted. 

That’s totally unnecessary, you said blurringly as you rolled your eyes. 

That wasn’t a question. 

You sighed and looked outside the window. You threw a glance at Marshall, who was fuming, his fist clenched into a ball. Your head was still turning and you didn’t feel too good. 

I need to get out of here, you mumbled. Can you stop the car ?! 

Will you just shut up for one fucking second ?! He snapped. 

I’m gonna puke. 

Shit. Stop the car now, Marshall said to the driver. 

Immediately, the vehicle piled and you hit your head on the window. One of the bodyguards opened the door and you ran outside before puking on the side of the road. Marshall followed you and stood next to you. You were doubled up as he held your hair. When you finally stopped puking, you looked at him with teary eyes. 

I’m sorry, you mumbled. 

He rolled his eyes and shook his head before leading you back to the car. 

Do you hate me ? You whispered. 

No, he groaned. We’ll talk about it when we get home, alright ? 

God, my head hurts, you croaked. 

He sighed and gently pulled you so that your head rested on his shoulder. 

There.

Thank you, you whispered. 

The rest of the drive was silent and you were almost asleep by the time the car dropped you at Marshall’s place. 

Can you walk ? He asked. 

You nodded and took a few steps but almost collapsed. These damn heels had you feeling like a baby giraffe taking its first steps. 

Come here, he sighed before carrying you bridal-style. 

As you walked through the door, he carried you upstairs to a bathroom.��

You need to shower, ok ? There’s a bit of barf on your dress… 

Ok, you muttered. Marshall, I-I’m sorry. 

You were on the verge of tears and your bottom lip was quivering. His look softened a bit. 

You can barely stand so I’ll help you with the shower and the undressing, is that alright with you ? 

You nodded. He made you sit on the floor before helping you undress. You grunted as he freed your feet from the shoes. He fumbled with the zipper of your dress, which was apparently stuck. 

Fuckin’ zipper, he muttered. I should cut this thing. 

Don’t, you whined. It’s new. 

He groaned as he finally managed to unzip you. You were finally naked on the cold floor of the bathroom. The dress didn’t allow you to wear any underwear. You noticed his surprise, but he didn’t comment. In any other circumstance, you would have felt embarrassed, but you were too drunk to care. You were actually thankful he was able to help you get out of these clothes, as you wouldn’t be able to undress on your own.

Alright, now let’s get you to the shower, he said softly. 

You nodded and tried to stand. Although it was easier without the heels, you weren’t too secure. He helped you stand and led you to the shower. 

I’m going to take my clothes off. It’ll be easier. Are you ok with that ? 

You nodded silently, not really daring to look at him. As minutes went by, you were feeling more and more ashamed of yourself. 

Hold still. Don’t fall, he directed before taking his clothes off, staying in his boxers. 

He went back to you and held you firmly so that you wouldn’t fall before turning on the shower. The water was flowing on your bodies. You tried your best not to fall but Marshall had to hold you with one hand while helping you wash with the other. 

Fuck it, he grunted as he turned off the water. I’ll just draw a bath, ok ? 

He drew a bath and helped you settle in the huge bathtub. 

Are you alright ? He asked gently, concern all over his face. 

You hummed and he started to wash your back. 

You’re not getting in ? You asked. 

Don’t worry about me, he said. Try not to drown, alright ?

I’m just saying, you might as well get in. You’re all wet already. 

He shrugged and finally joined you in the bathtub, settling right behind you so that you rested between his legs, while holding you tight so you wouldn't slip.

You know you could have taken your boxers off, right ? 

We’re not doing that, he sighed. 

Just saying… I know what your dick looks like, anyway. 

He scoffed softly and resumed helping you wash. It was actually easier now that you were in the bathtub. 

Marshall ? 

Mmmh ? 

Do you hate me ? You asked under your breath. 

Yes. I loathe you. That’s why I’m taking care of you right now, isn’t that obvious ? He asked sarcastically. Of course I don’t hate you, Y/N. Why do you even ask that ? 

You said I was a whore. 

I didn’t say that. I said you were dressed like a ho, he corrected. 

You turned your head to look at him. 

What ? You’re going to deny it ? He asked with an eyeroll. You weren’t even wearing a fucking thong. 

That’s mean, you said. You can’t wear underwear with that kind of dress. Otherwise, it shows. 

Oh so that’s what makes it not a ho-dress ? He mused as he lathered your arm with soap. My bad, sorry. You definitely looked like a nun, then. 

You rolled your eyes. 

Why were you even wearing this thing ? He asked. 

Cassie said it looked good, you shrugged. I mean, obviously, you disagree, but… 

Never said so, he said. 

You said I looked like a ho !  

Once again… no one said hoes can’t look good, he chuckled. I mean… you sort of have to, if you’re a ho, I guess ? Otherwise you’re not a very good one. 

You let out a drunken giggle. 

So you think I looked good ? You asked. 

Yeah, the prettiest ho I’ve ever seen, he grinned. It’s just… it doesn’t look like you, you know ? 

Maybe it should look like me, you shrugged. 

What the hell do you mean ? 

I look better like this, you said. 

Nope, he replied as he shook his head. You don’t. 

You don’t think so ? 

I think you’re beautiful as is, and that you don’t need to look like a whore, a ho or whatever. Or to act like one, for that matter, he said. 

Hey ! 

He shrugged as he stared at you. 

Was I acting like a ho ? You asked sheepishly, suddenly unsure about the whole evening. 

I don’t know. I guess, sort of, he said. Seriously, though…What was with all the kissing and grinding like you were in heat ? 

I don’t know, you admitted. Cassie gave me that vial to sniff. It made me all light and happy and…horny. 

Seriously ? Poppers ?! He sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

You swallowed dryly. 

She told me it wasn’t a big deal, you said. 

Let me guess, this genius is also the one who convinced you to have a drink ? 

… yes, you admitted. 

He groaned and shook his head. You looked down in embarrassment. 

I just wanted to have a good time, you said sheepishly. 

Yeah, because breaking your sobriety and making out with people is the only way to do that, right…? 

The comment about how you had failed to stay sober caused you to break into tears. 

I’m sorry, you murmured as you sobbed. I… I thought it wouldn’t count ? 

What ? He asked, confused. 

I mean, I figured that, it’s not pills, you explained as you kept sobbing. 

That’s not how sobriety works, Y/N, he said as he shook his head. You know better than that.

Tears kept on flowing. It felt like you would never stop crying. 

I fucked up. Everything. I’m a failure. I’m so sorry, you cried. 

Come here, he said as he pulled you in his arms. 

He held you and you rested your head in the crook of his neck, as you kept on crying. After a few minutes, you managed to calm down. 

Better now ? He asked. 

Yes. I’m sorry, you muttered. 

It’s ok to cry, he said as he stroked your hair. Now let’s get you dressed, ok ? I don’t want you to be cold. 

He got out of the bathtub first and helped you up. You were a bit more level-headed and managed to stand up. He wrapped you in a towel and told you not to move before disappearing for a minute, coming back wearing sweatpants. 

Put these on, he said as he gave you some clothes of his to wear. Let’s get ready for bed, ok ? 

You’re not taking me home ? You asked as you yawned. 

It’s late and Talia and Jamal are either asleep or having sex, he shrugged. So I don’t think we should disturb. Plus, you’re still shit-faced so I should keep an eye on you. 

You nodded and got dressed. His clothes were comfy. You also enjoyed the smell of his detergent - it was a smell you associated with him. You looked at yourself in the mirror. 

I look like a house elf in your tee-shirt, you pointed out. 

Come on Dobby, he chuckled as he shook his head. To bed, now. 

I can’t sleep in my makeup, you said. Do you have anything I could use to remove it ? 

He opened the cabinet door and managed to find some makeup removing wipes. You were wearing so much makeup that it took a while for you to take it off. 

You don’t need to use that much makeup, he pointed out. You look better without it anyway. 

I hate wearing it, you confessed. 

So… why the fuck do you look like a stolen car that’s been painted over ? 

I don’t know. I wanted to look pretty. Cassie convinced me.  I mean, I know I’ll never look as good as her, but… 

That’s true, he said. 

He looked at you and inspected your face, his fingers tracing your cheeks. 

You look better than her, he added. 

You felt yourself blush. You could tell he was being honest. It was the first time anyone ever mentioned that you looked better than Cassie. 

You don’t think she’s pretty ? You asked. 

Nah, she looks good, for sure, he said. But she looks too… whatever. Doesn’t matter anyway. 

It kind of does, though, you replied. 

Why is that ? 

She likes you. 

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

No she doesn’t, he said matter-of-factly. 

She thinks you’re hot and she wants you to call her, you replied. 

She likes Eminem, he explained. She has no idea who I am. I know she’s your friend and shit, but she basically threw herself at me, just because I’m famous. If I’d been a random guy, I’m not even sure she would have given me the time of day. 

You’d still be hot, you pointed out. 

He shook his head with a smile. 

Doesn’t matter, he said softly. I’m used to it, you know ? I can tell this type of thing from a mile away. Not to mention she was ready to drag her drunk friend into a threesome… 

It’s probably a misunderstanding, you said to defend her. I mean, she’s my friend, she wouldn’t… 

I know it sucks to hear it, Y/N, but you became an afterthought for this girl as soon as she saw a possibility to suck my dick. That’s not what friends do. 

He sighed and rubbed your shoulder. 

Also, friends don’t give their sober friends poppers and champagne, he pointed out. 

To be fair she didn’t know I was sober, you said. I didn’t have the heart to explain that to her… I guess it’s my fault. 

He hummed and shrugged. 

We’ll talk about that tomorrow. I’m tired, you’re exhausted, and it’s time for bed, he said. 

You almost giggled when you heard the unintentional rhyme. He led you to the adjacent guest bedroom. You felt a bit sobered-up but he was right, you were exhausted. You settled under the covers as he sat next to you. 

Thank you Marshall, you said as you stared into his blue eyes. 

Oh so you’re calling me Marshall now ? He said with a grin. 

Well, that’s your name, you said confused. 

You called me Em, at the party, he said. 

Well people also call you that, you pointed out. 

You don’t. 

You shrugged. 

Yeah, so ? 

I don’t like it, he said. Not in your mouth. It doesn’t feel right. I don’t mind about the others, but… For you, it’s Marshall. 

Ok, you chuckled. I won’t call you Em if you don’t call me a hoe or piss me off, then. 

Deal, he said with a smile. 

Marshall ? You asked. 

Yes ? 

Can I have a hug ? 

He simply nodded and took you in his arms. 

What am I supposed to do now ? You asked. About this whole sober thing ? 

For now, just sleep, Y/N. We’ll talk about it tomorrow. When you’re completely sobered-up and well-rested, ok ? 

You nodded, thanked him and closed your eyes. You felt his fingers in your hair, gently stroking your scalp. It was all you needed to fall asleep.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers headcanons #recovery fanfiction

[ciaonicole85]

Chapter 2: Getting to Know You

I recently wrote a post-season 2 story about Carmy helping with Sydney's apartment search. I wanted to back track a little to get into his head space just after the Friends and Family almost disaster, but prior to the apartment hunt, during which he is hopelessly crushing on Sydney. Mostly, it's backstory and gives more context to why Carmen is who he is :)

When Carmy stumbled frozen and broken out of the walk-in the night of Friends and Family, Sydney was waiting for him. However, something in his eyes made her reconsider whatever she had been planning to say. She pointed him to sit on floor against a stove she had turned on and made him hot tea. Wordlessly she sat on the floor next to him until he finished. When he tried to speak, nothing came out. His icy mottled fist began to circle his chest, but Sydney closed her hand over his.

"We'll start over again tomorrow."

Weeks later Carmen asked her why she hadn't quit that night. She said "Your face…it looked like mine did when I lost Sheridan."

In return she had asked him what happened with Claire and if it had been her fault.

"No. She thought she knew me, but she didn't and honestly, we didn't have anything in common."

The more Carm thought about Claire the sorrier he felt about how he'd behaved and the less he regretted the break-up. Claire was his high school dream girl. She was always kind to him, despite being able to mingle in nearly every clique at school. She was as comfortable with the student government club, as she was with the skaters. Everyone liked her and for no apparent reason she frequently stopped at his locker to ask if he had gum or invite him to study. So he always kept a pack of gum for her, but was too shy to join her study group. Once she and two of her friends ambushed him after school and convinced him to come to a party the night prior to graduation. He decided he might as well not end his high school career without ever having gone to one. The party was held in woods behind one of the football player's homes. There was a bonfire, cheap beer, too few cups, and couples making out or swaying to "Die in Your Arms".

Claire found a clean Solo cup and they shared a drink as she gazed into his eyes.

"I love this song"

"Yeah…it's popular".

Natalie had been playing Justin Bieber non-stop for the last few years and Carm was almost willing to give up all music if he never had to listen to him sing another note.

He didn't remember the rest of the conversation, but at some point Claire kissed him. 12 years later when they began dating she brought up the night of the party and how he looked so surprised and blushed.

"You were so cute. I bet it was your first kiss!"

"No, but almost" he said a little taken aback. As pleased as he was that Claire was interested, he felt like her project. Something about their relationship reminded him of a cheesy 80's teen movie. Too sweet. Not enough acid.

He could have saved them both a lot of trouble if he'd not given her any number, much less a fake one. But it was Claire, the brilliant, fearless, beautiful girl he'd used to sketch over and over again and she wanted HIM. He liked her so much back then. She went off to Michigan State and he began peeling mushrooms at a restaurant eventually becoming Carmen Berzatto "the most excellent CDC at the most excellent restaurant in the entire United States of America."

But before Claire, in 7th grade summer school, there was Kyla Branson. Carmy needed to take 7th grade math again before they'd pass him to 8th grade and Kyla was a transfer student. She had just finished 6th grade, and was taking 7th grade math and English early, because she was a pianist. A whole freakin' prodigy that would be touring with Eric Clapton later that fall. The math teacher had told the class, much to Kyla's obvious discomfort.

On the third day the class split into pairs to do an assignment and Carmy and Kyla were paired. He could barely look at her. Kyla had thick curly eyelashes which framed her large black brown eyes, her hair was usually brushed up into a soft coily bun like a ballerina, she wore small white diamond earrings in her shockingly small ears, and she had an heart-breakingly cute overbite that showed whenever she smiled. Carmy was gone over this little black girl. She was very shy too, but an overachiever so she persevered in making him talk enough to get the work done.

Once she saw his sketches on the back of his notebook and said he was artist. Using his best charcoal pencils he drew a portrait of her in the privacy of the attic at home. On the last day of summer school he gave it to her when class dismissed and dashed out of the room, his face redder than Heinz ketchup. Kyla caught up with him outside and grabbed his hand leading him out of the view of the car pick-up line.

"Thank you Carmen. I think you're beautiful too" Kyla whispered and kissed him full on the mouth. For three seconds. Then she ran back to the car pick up line, got into her parent's car and Carmen never saw her again.

Once he thought he saw her. The eyes and overbite were startling familiar, but the name was different. It was the day that Sydney Adamu walked into The Beef. It was the day that someone saw who he really was again.

#the bear #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #sydney x carmy #carmy the bear #carmen berzatto #carmy x sydney #carmy berzatto #syd adamu #fan fiction #fan fic

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

@mcyt-aro-week days 1 and 2 because i missed yesterday.

prompts: unconventional relationships / trope subversion, loveless / AU (blaseball au)

(remaining post under the cut)

"God, at this rate I'm never saving anyone's life ever again," Gem sighs as she puts her phone on Do Not Disturb.

"What do you mean?" False asks.

They're at a coffee shop in Houston. The Sunbeams had just finished a series with the Spies and were going home that night, while the Mechanics started a series with them tomorrow. False had decided to arrive a day early so her and Gem could do this, and after the terrible games both of their teams had had, False was particularly thankful for it.

Generally, she was thankful for Gem. About two weeks prior, False had been pitching a game in the Hellmouth, and the umpire had gone rogue. It was the ump at home plate, and it had been making a beeline for her when Gem had come sprinting out of her dugout and pushed False out of the way with more force than she'd expected the woman to hold. Gem had then tackled the umpire to the ground, taking the flames herself until they burnt out and could be safely removed from the field. Gem had barely seemed phased after the fact, just shook the dust off her uniform and walked back to the dugout. It was about as terrifying as it was impressive, and when Gem hit the game winning run off her at her next at bat, False couldn't find it in herself to be anything but impressed.

"My twitter mentions are blowing up, I think some fan or paparazzi saw us here and assumed we were on a date." Gem rolls her eyes and takes a long sip of her tea.

False can't help the snicker that comes out at Gem's words, but Gem doesn't seem particularly amused. "Wait, seriously?"

"Yup, this happens to me all the time," Gem says. "Everyone's got this image of us Fire Eaters being like, knights in shining armor, so every time I save somebody's life I have to deal with the internet being literally unusable for a few weeks if I want to avoid speculation about my relationships. Oh, and that's all the press will want to talk to me about after my games."

"Oh," False says, taking a long sip of her tea. She doesn't make much of a habit of looking at social media, and she has suddenly never been more grateful. "And this happens every time?"

"Every time! It's like they're trying to dissuade us from actually doing it or something. I'm not gonna stop, but like, sometimes I really want to. Can't they just ask me about the actual game one of these days?"

False lets the table fall quiet for a moment. She's thinking. For her entire career, she'd been a notoriously private person, both in her personal life and to the public. She'd been working on the personal life part for a long time, at the behest of her therapist, and she likes to think she's made some improvements. As for the public sphere, well, they weren't entitled to know anything about her. But- False takes a look at Gem, who's eyes are quickly flitting around the shop, like she's keeping an eye out for any cameras or fans looking too long in their direction. Maybe just this one thing...

"I think I might have an idea."

#empires smp #falsesymmetry #geminitay #mcyt blaseball au #mcyt aro week #id in alt #i put far too much work into these fake tweets for no real reason #but theyre funny to me so #i was originally gonna tell the whole story in tweets with it culminating in someone seeing false at pride w/ an aro ace flag cape #but then i got. lazy #if you see any mistakes in these tweets NO YOU DONT i am not fixing them

[izurusstuff]

Coal Miner's Daughter

(click here for last chapter)

｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⛓ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐩𝐭. 𝟏: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 💣⛓.⋆｡⋆˚

message from izurusstuff: okay hi i promise snow comes in on the next part [insert pleading eyes here], i just didn't want to overwhelm people with so so much, so i divided it into two sections but you'll thank me for that,, he's going to be serving cunt and being the literal best teenage murderous villain <33

im literally writing pt 2 rn for y'all bc ilysm, bear with me

[𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟'𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝟏𝟐 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭]

summary: Y/n and Ridge are navigating their new life after y/n's betrayal. It's the first day, but things are already so different.

*:･ﾟ✧* "...𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐛 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞..." ･ﾟ✧*:

⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

May 31st, The Hob, District 12.

Y/n dropped the expensive ivory guitar Savani had gotten her the day prior. The wood broke into splinters everywhere… about two thousand dollars worth of precious wood was currently laying in pieces on the floor of The Hob. Bystanders looked on in shock at what they saw go down… but Mayor Yearwood was furious. Not at his daughter who just backstabbed her best friend, but at y/n. 

The heartbroken girl was running through the meadows back to her house. Tears flew from her face and her heart weighed more than the world. Y/n ran past the lake that the three were at just the night prior… when everything was okay. When her heart didn't get grinded up into powder by two of her favorite people. When she knew she was loved. So much changed in less than a day. It was all so fast, it felt like a carousel ride she couldn’t get off of… and it was fucking horrifying.

When y/n stepped foot into her house, she ran into her room and destroyed all the artwork of the trio. She stupidly flushed all the jewelry down the toilet… she was so upset that it didn't cross her mind that she could sell it. She wanted to get rid of every single memory of Leif and Savani. Including living in District 12 with them.

Ridge ran into the house a few minutes later. It was quite obvious y/n had outran her poor dad; he was unbelievably out of breath when he finally got there.

“Kid…”

Y/n looked at her dad. She tried to speak. Nothing came out of her mouth other than loud wails… Ridge somewhat understood her heartbreak; it’s exactly what he went through when y/n’s mom died. He held his poor daughter in his soot-covered hands, which got all over her celebration dress. He wasn’t exactly the best at comfort, but y/n knew he was there for her and truly loved her. 

“C…can I come work in the mines with you, Daddy?” Y/n said through her sobs. Ridge thought it was an unusual request, but he knew letting y/n stay in the house would only make her feel worse, so he nodded. 

“You can come with me tomorrow. Beware though, you’ll be the only lady there. The boys might be shocked.” Ridge joked. He wasn’t exactly lying– she’d be the only female there, but he wouldn’t tolerate any of his fellow miners being rude to his precious daughter. 

“You don’t have to be alone, sweetheart. We’ll get through this together. Just like we always done. Ain’t gonna let no one hurt you…” He said, squeezing y/n tighter. Ridge may have not been able to prevent y/n’s heart from getting broken this time, but he wasn’t going to let it happen again. He didn’t give a damn if he had to buy a shotgun with all the money he had. No one would treat y/n like this… because it broke his heart too. If it wasn’t for him trying to stay strong for her, Ridge would also be sobbing. He felt like the worst dad ever for not being able to protect his daughter from people so cruel… people he trusted. 

“...I love you, Pa.” Y/n didn’t say that phrase often, but she really should. She truly loved her dad. Ridge always bent over backwards to make sure she was clothed and fed. He’d often spend days straight in the mines around her birthday and holidays just so she could have presents. And in that moment, y/n was beyond grateful for him.

Ridge was trying his hardest not to break down crying in that moment. But it didn’t work… tears fell from his eyes just as fast as y/n’s did. Neither of them said anything, but they basked in each other’s heartbreak. The two ended up falling asleep like that…

June 1st, Vespertine Residence, District 12. 

Ridge and y/n had fallen asleep on the croaky, old, wooden floor of y/n’s room while they embraced. Y/n’s head was on Ridge’s shoulder, and his head was on top of hers. Honestly, it wasn’t exactly the most comfortable of positions, but the idea of it was wholesome. 

The two didn’t wake up until the cliche cawing of a rooster was heard in the distance while they felt the pastel orange sun shine down on them through y/n’s open window… and both of them groggily woke up. For a split moment, they’d forgotten why they were asleep like that to begin with. But reality set in not long after.

“Still plannin’ on going to the mines today, kid?” Ridge asked, standing up and brushing himself off. Y/n nodded. It wasn’t the ideal job by any means, but she knew the Yearwoods and Leif would try to look for her. And she did NOT want to deal with it.

“Alrighty then.” Ridge walked off to his room, which was only on the other side of the kitchen, opposite of y/n’s. After a second, he tossed y/n a… very… very… dirty uniform.

“Sorry, kid. Can’t have you ruinin’ your dresses.” He responded after he saw the disgusted look on her face… great. She had to wear her dad’s old uniform that’s been around for God knows how long. Why didn’t she see that coming? But there wasn’t any backing out now. Y/n shooed Ridge and began putting on the uniform… 

June 1st, Yearwood Mansion, District 12.

Unlike y/n, Savani slept peacefully. She finished up her dad’s birthday party with Leif by her side… and not once did they think of y/n. Savani got to get the sleep, food, and energy y/n deserved. Why did she get to crush y/n and act like nothing happened?! It was infuriating, but only for y/n. Everyone else was ecstatic for Savani and Leif… like y/n never existed or even mattered to anyone. 

The young heiress woke up that morning in her silk pajamas and her luxury bed. She didn’t fall asleep from being so exhausted because she cried her heart out to her dad. It was everything y/n deserved. 

It was almost as if… Savani wanted to erase y/n from the start. She probably was an embarrassment to her and Leif. So they betrayed her, that way they wouldn’t be labeled as classists for cutting off their peasant “friend.” That was probably why everyone supported Leif and Vani’s relationship… because everyone knew y/n lived in a three room house with her dad on the very outskirts of the district. Everyone knew they could only afford “soup” that contained water and one vegetable… they knew the soup only had spices in it on y/n’s birthday. 

The Vespertines were nothing but savage, poor, vain peasant folk. People only tolerated them because y/n was “best friends” with Mayor Yearwood’s daughter. Now they didn’t have to hide their disgust anymore.

“Good morning, Daddy!” Savani said in a cheery voice as she walked into her kitchen that was nearly twice the size of y/n’s entire house. “‘Mornin’, darlin’.” Tripp said. His voice nearly sounded like a growl. Vani didn’t care, though. She’d always gotten everything she wanted… and now, Leif was hers too. 

“People’re talkin’ about that stunt you pulled yesterday on y/n, Savani.”

“So?”

“Savani. Now we all know damn well, I never cared much for y/n… but people don’t need to know that. You’re makin’ it seem we’re out to get her right before The Reaping. What will they think if y/n gets drawn to go in?”

Shit. Tripp was right. The Reaping for The Hunger Games was only a little over a month away. If y/n were to get picked…

“So be it. She’s everything the Capitol thinks of us… dirty, poor, hungry, angry, savage. Ain’t much of a loss if she gets picked.” Those words really sunk in for Tripp… maybe if he rigged the drawing, his precious daughter could live her happy ever after with Leif…

“I ‘spose you’re right. Be unfortunate if she got picked…”

June 1st, Everdeen Coal Mine, District 12.

Y/n arrived with her hair in pigtails. Although she was wearing a decade old mining uniform, she made it her own. She flaunted it with confidence… she knew Savani could never do such a thing. Vani could probably put on the uniform, but she’d only do it for publicity. Y/n got to actually work; which wouldn’t be so wonderful if she wasn’t so excited to use a pickaxe to take her anger out on poor rocks. 

She walked closely behind her dad, who was strutting in the mines. Everyone there seemed to know her dad’s name, which kinda made her feel inferior… inferior. To her own dad. At his job. Her confidence really took a deep dive after yesterday, huh?

“Hey Ridge! That your daughter?” An old man shouted, pointing to y/n. 

“Sure is, Billy!”

“Really grown up on us!” The man said. Y/n was… terrified. She thought she’d be ridiculed the second she picked up her pickaxe. “She’ll be a hard worker if she’s anything like her daddy!” Y/n let out a sigh of relief. Thank the Lord… people here in the mines didn’t judge. It was refreshing. But it’s expected that men who wore working their ass off just so their family could buy a single head of cabbage would be understanding. 

Time to get to work.

#thecoalminersdaughter #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coryo snow #snow x reader #the hunger games #hunger games #sejanus plinth #clemensia dovecote #tigris snow #snow lands on top #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow fanfiction #tbosas #izurusstuff #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tom blyth #rachel zegler #fanfic #hunger games fanfiction

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Another one? Yes, another one!!!!

I wish that we could save today, but I know we can’t stay the same. And I keep pushing you away, don’t wait for me - Home is Such a Lonely Place by Blink 182

With Spencer! Thanks and congrats again!!!!

Hello again! This one was cute, set post s15.

Home is Such a Lonely Place

Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Summary - you and Spencer’s whirlwind romance comes to an abrupt end when you both get job offers in different countries. But home is just too lonely for him to bear without you.

CW - angst, break ups, tears, sad goodbyes, meet cutes.

WC - 2.2k

As far as days went, today was just about perfect in Spencer Reid’s world. Before long it would become some distant memory, forgotten seconds by your side. 

It would become just another day in the story book of his life but he tried to catalogue every single inconsequential touch, every sidelong glance. He had to preserve these moments because after tomorrow there would be no more moments to have. 

Spencer had loved you since the moment he laid eyes on you eight months ago in line for coffee at his favourite cafe. You’d both reached for the same sugar packet but when you’d smiled at him, the simple gesture was sweet enough and he’d allowed you to take it. 

What had followed had been a whirlwind romance. 

Spencer had left the BAU a few months prior to meeting you to teach full time, which gave him evenings and weekends free to spend with you. And the two of you did spend every possible second together. More seconds he hoped wouldn’t become forgotten. 

You’d fallen head over heels for each other. You never officially moved in with him, you still had your own apartment, but you honestly couldn’t remember the last time you’d been back there. 

It had been the most incredible tornado of emotions, the likes of which neither of you had ever experienced before. He’d told you early on he had every intention of marrying you one day, and you couldn’t think of anything you wanted to do more in the world. 

But fate had other ideas. 

In the space of just one week, two things happened that altered the trajectory of your relationship. Firstly you got offered a job of a lifetime, one in which you’d worked your whole life towards. 

You’d screamed and jumped up and down, throwing yourself giddily into Spencer’s arms the second you hung up the phone but the euphoria was tragically short lived. 

Your dream job, the one you’d worked so hard for, was in London. 

Spencer hadn’t skipped a beat before telling you he’d come with you. He loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he wasn’t letting you go. 

You’d started to cry when he cupped your face and smiled at you as he whispered, “let’s move to London, my love.” 

For three days the two of you had excitedly started to plan your future across the pond, where you’d live, where Spencer would work. Where your future hypothetical children could go to school.

But then on the third day, Spencer received a call. 

He’d been tapped by the bureau for a special assignment, for which he wasn’t at liberty to tell you much about. His initial reaction had been to decline, nothing was more important to him than your life in London. 

But you’d seen the way he winced ever so slightly every time he talked about turning it down. You saw the way his previous elation over your move dampened day by day. 

You realised for the first time just how much Spencer missed the FBI. So as much as it killed you to think of your life without him in it, you convinced him to stay. 

You both had your own dreams and sadly, they didn’t overlap. 

You had a few months until your move and so even if it hurt more in the long run, you and Spencer spent every moment together you could, creating the last few memories you’d ever have together. 

He held you tighter in that time, but never enough to hold you back. 

Today was your last day together. Tomorrow you would board a flight to London and who knows when you’d be back, if you ever were. 

Spencer created the perfect last day, spent hours planning all the places he wanted to take you but you never ended up even leaving his apartment. 

You spent the majority of the day in each other's arms, commiting to your minds exactly how the other felt, how they smelt. It was all so bittersweet but you wouldn’t change a second of it. 

He loved the lightning, the crashes of electricity he felt when you were close by. But the rain that was rolling in, the rain that followed when you left; he hated that. 

Tomorrow was frightening. But not today. 

He wanted to slow down time, enjoy every minute of this. But never enough that it would slow you down. 

When he suddenly got up, letting go of his grip on you and pacing his living room, you watched him curiously. You took in his frame, every dip and curve of him even though it was shielded by his wrinkled shirt and slacks. 

You etched in your heart the way his curls fell down his neck, around his face. You captured his slightly furrowed brow, sharp jawline and cracked lips, filed it all away in the Spencer Reid photo album that lived deep in your soul. 

He stopped pacing and looked at you, the weight of it all clear on his features. 

“I think that…” he trailed off with a shaky sigh. “I think that maybe you should go.” 

You frowned at him, pushing yourself up to your feet. 

“I thought the plan was for me to stay and you were going to take me to the airport in the morning?” 

“Yeah well, plans change, don’t they?” He snapped much harsher than he’d meant to. 

You pouted at his tone, wrapping your arms around your waist and shying away from him. 

“Wow,” you choked. “Ok then.” 

You turned your back on him towards the bedroom where your bags were and started towards it. 

Spencer shook his head at his own stupidity and quickly hurried after you. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.” His long, nimble fingers encased your wrist and he gently tugged you back to him. “I just…I wish that we could save today. But I know we can’t stay the same. And pushing you away…it seemed like it would hurt less.” 

His eyes were misted over with tears and he kept his hold on you, terrified to let you go. 

“Maybe I should go.” You shrugged. 

“No, please don’t.” He shook his head frantically. 

“I think it’s best. It’s never going to hurt any less Spencer but prolonging the pain is making it worse.” A tear escaped your eye as you saw the understanding wash over him. 

He wanted to fight it. He wanted to spend every single second you had left together but he knew you were right. He let go of you and raised his arms up to aggressively rub his eyes. 

“I knew this would be hard but I didn’t realise just how much it would hurt.” He swallowed. “I feel like someone’s carved out my heart.”

You whimpered a little at his words, taking a step closer to him and cupping his cheeks in your hands. You brushed your fingers over the contours of his face, hoping the feeling of him would help you remember. 

“Me too, Spence.” You agreed. “I need you to promise me something.” 

“Anything.” He nodded. 

“Promise me you won’t wait for me.” 

His own tears broke free and suddenly started cascading from his eyes and you wiped them away with your thumbs. 

“I don’t know if I can promise you that.” He whined. 

“You have to.” You sniffed. “Don’t wait for me, Spence.” 

Before he could argue with you, you pressed your lips gently against his, tasting his tears as you kissed him. It was fleeting, it had to be. You’d come to learn all the best things were. 

You let go of his face and stepped backwards and he didn’t try to stop you when you went to walk to the bedroom. 

He also didn’t try to stop you when you headed back out with your bags. As you passed him, you placed a lingering kiss on his cheek before continuing to the front door. 

And again he didn’t stop you when you opened it. 

As you stepped into the corridor you turned back to him and smiled at him through your tears. 

“I’ll always love you, Spencer Reid.” 

“I’ll always love you too.” He replied, his voice cracking with each word. 

He watched you leave, his heart feeling as though it was physically shattering inside his chest even though he knew that wasn’t possible. 

Looking around his apartment he suddenly hated this place. The place he’d called home for so many years no longer felt like his safe haven. 

It felt like the moon was spinning off into outer space without you. The universe an empty place without you. This room was such a lonely place now you’d gone. 

And he wasn’t sure he’d ever bounce back from a loss so great. 

***

If you didn’t take into account your broken heart, London was everything you’d dreamed of and more. 

Work kept you busy enough that during the days you were able to cast all thoughts of your lost love from your mind. But it was at night that all of those memories came flooding back to the surface. 

You tried to keep focused on your job, on figuring out a new routine and creating a new normal for yourself; one that didn’t include Spencer Reid. 

You engrossed yourself in the little, trivial things. The fastest route to your office, the nicest parks to read in on the weekend and most importantly, where you could find the best coffee on your morning commute. 

You explored a new coffee shop every single day but so far nothing compared to that little cafe in DC where you’d reached for a sugar packet one morning and your whole world had changed. Perhaps you never would find one that lived up to those expectations. 

Nearly three weeks after your relocation you left early one morning to check out a cafe a little out of your normal route. According to Google it was one of the most highly rated coffee shops in the area. 

You allowed yourself to feel something akin to excitement as you pushed open the door of the bustling little artisan shop. If you could find the perfect cafe for your morning pick me up, maybe it would go some way to help repair your broken heart. 

You ordered your usual vanilla latte and as soon it was handed to you made your way over to the stand in the corner for some sugar. 

And as you reached for the little packet you were awash with deja vu as your fingers brushed against those of another. 

When you looked up and your eyes met his deep hazel orbs, your whole world stopped turning on its axis. 

He was offering you the most beautiful smile you’d ever seen, and in that moment you felt your heart start to piece itself back together. 

“I read online that this was one of the best coffee shops in all of London.” He spoke, a hint of whimsy in his tone. “But, uh, I have also tried another five highly rated coffee places in as many days and they didn’t stack up. This one though…this one has potential.” 

You exhaled a shaky breath, eyes clouding over with tears, feeling as though you must be hallucinating because surely this wasn’t real. 

“You’ve been here for five days?” Your voice trembled. 

“A week actually.” Spencer grinned at you, fingers still brushing against your own. 

“Why didn’t you just call?” 

“This is far more romantic, don’t you think?” His eyes danced playfully and he dared to slip his hand in yours. 

“I…I don’t understand what’s happening.” You felt like all the air had left your lungs. Everything else going on around you faded away. 

“I called the bureau, the day you left actually. I turned down the special assignment, told them I left the FBI for a reason and I wasn’t prepared to come back. Then I spoke to the university and some strings were pulled but they managed to secure me a job. In London. I would have been here sooner but between zoom interviews and selling my apartment…but I’m here now.” He squeezed your hand, trying to prove to you he was actually here. 

“You… you’re here? For real?” A tear rolled from your eye and Spencer was quick to cup your face and wipe it away. 

“I’m here for real. And for good. Or at least as long as you're here.” 

“I…I don’t even know what to say.” A few more tears fell but Spencer brushed away every one. 

“Say you’ve got room in your apartment for a guy who gave up everything to be with you? And his books, the books need a home too.” 

“You’re insane.” You chuckled through your tears and Spencer laughed too.

“Maybe so,” he edged closer to you until you could feel his breath fan across your face. “But I couldn’t make it a few hours in my apartment with you gone. Home is such a lonely place without you, so let’s make a new one here?” 

You didn’t have the words to express quite what all of this meant to you and you knew you didn’t need them. Instead of speaking, you closed the gap between you and pressed your lips to his. 

Spencer immediately held you tightly, kissing you back with yearning and knowing for a fact that he would never spend another day away from you as long he lived. 

Home was such a lonely place without you, but he didn’t plan on finding that out again. 

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