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waltricia · 1 day

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Regardless of whether anyone actually reads this, I need to show appreciation for the writing, blocking, and editing of the last scene of 3x03, “Forces of Nature.”

Recently, I noticed that the LW line “this author is captivated” was very specifically placed over a shot of Colin and I knew it was intentionally done to convey the double meaning of the narration being about her and him.

Since then, I’ve realized that the same thing is happening throughout that entire LW narration. And it is fucking BRILLIANT.

So, first of all, this is the transcript of the narration:

“This author believes that all of man’s greatest inventions are nothing more than a distraction from what is most natural to us. Our instincts. The innate animal impulse that is inside even the most sophisticated of us. For when all is said and done, our nature will always win out. It seems Lord Debling’s instinct has led this man of nature to the most surprising pick of the season in Miss Penelope Featherington. Suffice it to say, this author is captivated. For in the battle between man and nature, it is quite clear that the battle is in fact between man and himself.”

Now I’m going to break it down with captioned stills so that you can see which words line up with which frames and I’ll explain what I believe it all means.

“This author” - When it’s first said, it’s on Pen. The second time it’s on Colin. I think there are several meanings here. Firstly, she’s Whistledown and she’s published. He will be, assuming he publishes his travel journals or whatever. Secondly, I think it highlights how they will be united, in the Whistledown storyline along with everything else. There’s a third meaning, but I’m going to get back to it later, once we get to the second use of “this author.”

This is the Innovations Ball, so on the surface, LW is speaking about man-made technology versus the natural world. But with the introduction of “man,” the shot immediately cuts to Colin, so the second layer of the narration is about him. All of Colin’s invented personality traits are a cover, hiding his true self- his sensitivity and his feelings for Pen. Obviously, this echoes what she wrote about him in 3x01, but it’s different. The context is the same, but this time, she’s not speaking directly about him, and really, she may very well not be thinking about him at all in writing it. After all, she still doesn’t know about his feelings for her. But we know. And the feeling of what she’s saying this time is less jarring; more, fittingly, natural. Because he’s starting to confront all of it as well.

In this shot, Colin has been walking across the room to get to Pen. There were people on his right, obstructing his view of her, but as LW says “natural,” Colin passes those people and, though we cannot yet see Pen, we can tell from Colin’s face that he finally clearly can. She is what is most natural to him.

He comes up to her and says that he has a question for her. The narration starts again. But on this shot, it’s only the one word, “our.” Aside from this just being romantic, I think it highlights that the narration is about both of them. But I also think that it’s not just about them. It feels to me as if, metaphorically, it’s written by both of them. Hence, my emphasis on the importance of “this author.”

We cut to our first close-up of Colin in this particular intimate sequence of close-ups. And we’re really in his perspective now, as he’s struggling to manage his feelings.

Again, he had been masking, trying to be like the other “sophisticated” gentlemen.

But a shift is occurring within him.

And this where I really hope there is at least one other person out there paying attention because all of the elements are coming together to tell us something incredible here. We have our beloved Julie Andrews delivering the line with a profound heaviness. We have Kris Bowers’ “Call Me Simon” coming to a close, sounding like a clock striking midnight. And we have the decisive sentiment of the words themselves. I'm convinced that the words “done” and “win out” being said on Pen speak to the finality of Colin’s feelings. If there was uncertainty before, it is gone now and there is no turning back. He is in love with Pen.

But before Colin can say anything else, Debling steps in and takes Pen away to dance.

Side note: Amazingly, I can back up my theory with this shot and another one of my theories:

I had said, when the trailer came out, that when true red shows up behind Colin, that indicates his love for Pen. This is the first time we see that happen.

But anyway, back to Whistledown…

Debling is the literal “man of nature,” while Colin is the metaphoric “man of nature.” Both have picked Pen.

We’ve finally come to the second “this author” and here’s the third thing I wanted to say about it: Possibly my favorite thing about this sequence, is that it acts as a vehicle for the representation of the Polin role reversal. From one end of the Whistledown narration to the other, Pen and Colin literally and metaphorically switch places, seamlessly. They exchange their physical places in the room. She’s the wallflower, then he’s the wallflower. She’s the author, then he’s the author. In a metaphorical sense, they’re both writing this Whistledown piece. This whole sequence serves to show us how Colin and Pen have really been equal this whole time. They’re just star-crossed. It’s like what Luke has been saying in interviews, Colin and Pen keep missing each other. They have brief moments where they eclipse each other and then they slip right past until the next time they orbit around to each other again.

Ok, here’s the final stretch, and it is a fucking fascinating maneuver:

The battle isn’t between Colin and Debling. In fact, Debling doesn’t signify at all here. I’d say there are actually three other battles being referenced: Colin and himself, Pen and herself, and Colin and Pen. The first “man” of that sentence is said on Colin, while “nature” is said on Pen. So in the battle between Colin and Pen- for there is a battle, as Cressida will mention in 3x04 when she says “Eros and Psyche, battling it out”, and also there will be more blatant battling in part 2- the real battles Colin and Pen are facing are the ones within themselves.

Of course I’ve already written about Colin’s battle with himself.

The reference to Pen’s battle with herself is particularly interesting to me. At first, I didn’t see it and I didn’t understand why that bit of the narration was spoken over the Pen and Debling dance instead of over Colin. Then I realized that the second “man” of that sentence is said directly on top of this shot where, again, it’s not about Debling; it’s her face we’re seeing. Then, Debling spins her and the “himself” is on Pen too. And I know I’m right about this because the shot was in the trailer and I watched it so many times. And I noticed that Sam Phillips is very specifically looking away from the camera in this moment. I figured it was because we had to know that the moment was about her. And I was right.

Pen’s journey is her reconciliation with herself. Colin and Pen really have the same inner battles. They both need to drop their masks. That’s why the mirror scene is going to be so important- it’s about exposing and embracing the bare parts of both of them. They are already equal and united. They just need to see it.

Ok that’s it. I’m done. I got it out. And I literally can’t add any more images to this post. To anyone who will have read this fuckin novel I just wrote, thanks for sticking around. These ballroom sequences are particularly difficult for the cast and crew to do, and there is obviously so much complexity in this one, so I feel like it should all be acknowledged. Someone has to acknowledge it, and if that has to be me, I will gladly continue using up my Friday afternoons to do so.

To the cast and crew, to the captain of the season 3 ship, Jess Brownell, to the director, Andrew Ahn, and writer, Eli Wilson Pelton, to everyone’s favorite choreographer/movement director, Jack Murphy, to Luke, Nic, and Julie fuckin Andrews, I see you and I love you. Please keep doing what you’re doing. It’s all worth it. ♥️

#my obsession with this show and specifically this episode is unlike anything i’ve ever experienced before #forces of nature #innovations ball #hawkins ball #polin #lady whistledown #bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #netflix #andrew ahn #jack murphy #jess brownell #eli wilson pelton #obsessive bridgerton things #bridgerton analysis

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imaginespazzi · 1 day

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Part 7: Home

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

These hands had to let it go free and this love came back to (us)

(In which with bittersweet feelings, a nostalgic writer, finally writes the end of the story)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst and Fluff

Words: 7.1K

TW: Swearing, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my loves! I can't believe we've actually reached the end, who would have thought huh? I'm not sure if there will be an epilogue, mainly cause I don't know what I'd write but never say never. I don't really know how I feel about this chapter and if I've done the end I pictured justice but I really hope y'all like it anyways. There's a fair amount of creative liberty taken with WNBA logistics but please just accept it for the plot. Per usual, did I edit? Yes. Are there grammar mistakes and typos anyways? Yes. As always, let me know what you liked and disliked. And finally, to all my lovelies who have liked, reblogged, commented, sent in an ask, dm-ed me or simply just silently read this fic, I just wanna say thank you guys so, so, much, y'all have made writing every word worth it and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much I enjoyed writing it <3

August 2018

Paige swears, tonight, there are stars in the Minnesota night sky she’s never seen before in her life. The summer sky has darkened with nightfall, yet the shine of the moon and its companions make it still seem ever so bright. Or maybe, it’s just the girl lying next to Paige that makes tonight feel luminescent, sparkling with the promises of something not quite like friendship that Paige has never felt before. She’d spent the whole day with Azzi at the Minnesota State fair, trying to suppress these new butterflies in her stomach that seemed to have taken birth over their time in Latvia. Or well, maybe they’d been there from the start, but they’d really only started this dance of theirs, the one that makes Paige feel all tingly when Azzi smiles, over the course of this summer.

“Paige it’s cold, stop hogging the blanket,” Azzi chastises, breaking Paige from a trance, as she tugs on the pink and purple blanket covering the two of them, “I knew we should have brought two of them.”

“It’s barely on me” Paige argues for the sake of arguing but she shifts anyway to allow the younger girl to pull the blanket, so clearly meant for one person, a little more towards her, “besides, it’s about sharing body heat.”

“You’re not even warm enough to share body heat,” Azzi mocks as she makes a show of tracing a finger down Paige’s arm and everything in the blonde feels like it’s been lit on fire at the touch. And she wonders if Azzi feels it too, the electricity, the sparks of this could ruin me that scatter through her veins before finding themselves setting her heart ablaze. It’s too much and Paige shakes Azzi’s hand off with a little more force than she means too.

When Azzi sends her questioning look, she splutters through an excuse, “your hands are cold too. Can we just do the boring shit we’re here to do.”

"Stargazing is not boring,” Azzi says indignantly, opening the little stargazing booklet she’d brought with her, flicking through the pages looking for something specific.

To be honest, sitting still in an open field and squinting at the sky trying to figure out a distant constellation isn’t really Paige’s brand of entertainment. She’s a fidgety person by nature, constantly embroiled in the urge to be moving. But Azzi had brought it up the other day, with pleading eyes and a hopeful grin and well, sometimes it felt sinful to deny Azzi of anything she wants. And that’s how they’d ended up at a campsite, not too far from the State fair, lying on the grass, heads tilted towards each other, with a single blanket shielding them from the summer breeze.

“Okay,” Azzi says after a while, using her fingers to point out a pattern in the sky, “I think that one’s Cassiopeia.”

“If you say so,” Paige nods, not really sure what she’s supposed to be looking at.

“Paaaaige,” Azzi whines, “focus.”

“Dude I can barely see anything, the fuck am I supposed to focus o-”

Before Paige can finish her sentence, she feels herself being pulled by the younger girl, the side of her body fitting into the crook’s of Azzi’s like a perfect puzzle piece. She looks over at the brunette, and the protest dies on the tip of her tongue, as she realises just how close Azzi is to her now, all semblance of air leaving her lungs. Paige gulps, eyes tracing every inch of her best friend’s face, stopping of their own accord at Azzi’s lips, before guiltily flashing back to meet the younger girl’s eyes which are just as focused on Paige. And it feels like there’s no force in this world right now that could make either of them look away. Except maybe the force of friends don’t do this.

“Just focus,” Azzi breaks contact first, turning her face back at the stars, before gently grabbing hold of Paige’s hand so she can guide it in the pattern of the constellation. And Paige still doesn’t really see it, doesn’t even particularly care about seeing it, but if it gets Azzi to hold her hand, soft skin putting light pressure against her palm, she thinks she’ll try to see some random lines in the sky forever.

“It’s pretty.”

“You don’t see it do you?”

“Nope,” Paige’s grin widens when Azzi chuckles, shaking her head fondly. Something in her blooms, delighted at being the reason for that. And she’s always prided herself in being funny, she thinks of herself as a little bit of a comedian really, but she’s never wanted to make anyone laugh quite as much as she wants to make Azzi laugh.

“Well that’s enough stargazing for us then,” Azzi rolls her eyes, closing her little booklet and making a move to sit up but Paige is quicker, pulling the younger girl back down and interlocking their fingers. Her own overeagerness causes a tinge of embarrassment to race up her cheeks, and she hopes it’s dark enough that Azzi won’t see the pale pink blush taking over her face.

“It’s peaceful out here,” she says quietly, sounding shy even to her own ears and she can’t help but wonder when the hell that happened, “you wanna stay a little longer?”

“Yeah okay let’s stay longer,,” Azzi agrees and sometimes when Azzi speaks like that, her voice lyrically soft with a secret smile hidden in it, Paige wonders if maybe it would be okay to hope for, to feel something more because maybe, just maybe, Azzi feels it too.

“You know you should come to the state championship,” Paige says after a second of silence, trying to keep her voice nonchalant but she can hear the wishfulness bleeding into it anyways.

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “isn’t that in March? That’s like months and months away.”

“Yeah but- well-” Paige shrugs, cheeks burning just a little bit, “you probably wanna book in advance cause like tickets and stuff you know?”

“You don’t even know if you’ll be in the state championship. There’s still a whole season to go.”

“Oh I know. I know we’re definitely gonna be there.” Paige smirks, cockiness back in full-fledged form.

“Then I’ll be there,” Azzi says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world, “you better win though Bueckers.”

“Watch me,” and she’s jutting her chest out in arrogance sure, but really everything inside her is swelling with something else, a feeling she’s starting to understand a little too well, a feeling that terrifies her, a feeling she doesn’t think she’s quite ready to let herself feel yet, “it would be nice you know, to win a championship together at some point.”

“I don’t think my parents would be on board with moving to Minnesota.”

“I’m sure I could convince them,” Paige feels a little giddy at the thought, “but I meant more like college, like UConn.”

It’s a topic they’ve stumbled upon a couple of times, with each other, and with the other girls at Team USA. And as much as Paige would love for her other teammates to follow her to her dream school, she’s practical enough to know they might have other priorities. But the thing is that with the rest of the girls, it’s just something she’d like to happen but with Azzi, now that Paige has said it out loud, she’s beginning to realise how desperately she wants that, her and Azzi, on the same team, fighting the same battles and winning the same wars, together.

“Don’t think you can win a national championship without me Bueckers?” Azzi smirks, twisting her head towards Paige, eyebrows cocked in arrogance.

“Of course I can,” Paige’s face softens, the vulnerability that only ever seems to come out around her best friend seeping on to her features, “but I think it would be fun to win one with you. Someday.”

“Someday, “ Azzi whispers back, giving Paige’s hand a light squeeze, and then her eyes widen at the sky, “holy shit is that a shooting star? Oh my god Paige look up, quick, it’s beautiful.”

In the dark of the night, a rare flicker of gold shoots across the obsidian Minnesota sky. Paige has never seen one before but it seems fitting really, that she’d see one tonight.

“We have to make a wish,” she whispers and Azzi, never one to really believe, rolls her eyes but she follows Paige’s lead, closing her eyes. And the thing is Paige could wish for a lot of things really, but she finds herself thinking of only one word that sums up all she could ever want: someday.

***

August 2026

They’ve been playing against each other for years now and yet the thrill of the face-off still hasn’t quite worn off. Back in the handful of games in high school, it had been quickfire friendly trash talk, two best friends going at it like the competitors they were. College had been drastically different, each game, each play, underlined with the tension of two people who still hadn’t quite figured it out. But Paige thinks her favourite version of them as opponents is definitely this one, the one where they might be on different teams in the WNBA, but off the court, they both know they’re on the same side, together.

Their relationship isn’t quite a secret; it would have been impossible to hide if after the kiss at the 2025 national championship. But they’d kept as quiet about it as possible, skillfully dodging media questions, wanting to shelter it from the prying eyes of the public. It makes playing each other on national television, just that little bit more entertaining, trying to keep things as cordial as possible. If Paige’s hands end up just a little too close to Azzi’s waist, lingering a little longer than necessary against the patch of skin she’d marked with a hickey earlier this morning, and it makes the younger girl shiver, then that’s just a tactic to win. And if Azzi breathes seductive thoughts of what she’d like to do after the game when guarding Paige, and it makes the blonde want to turn around and kiss the smirk off of her girlfriend’s lips, well that’s just another innovative defensive strategy.

“Be a good girl for me and move,” Paige whispers, the double entendre in her voice apparent, as she tries to dribble the ball past Azzi. There’s only a minute or so left in the last meeting of the regular season between Paige’s Lynx and Azzi’s Mystics -funny how that had worked out- and the score is painfully close, with the Mystics closing in on the Lynx’s two point-lead.

“Always a good girl for you P,” Azzi smirks, her voice the quietest it could possibly be, but Paige hears her next words like they’re on a loudspeaker in the area, “it’s why I’m wearing your favourite purple panties.”

It takes a second, a second where Paige’s eyes gloss over with lust, as her mind rushes back to the last time she’d seen, the last time she’d touched the silky undergarment, for the ball to be stolen from her hands. She’s a step too slow to recover and by that time Azzi’s already scored the easy lay-up to tie up the game, a mischievous grin adorning her normally stoic game face.

On the other end of the court, Napheesa draws a foul and Paige and Azzi end up next to each for free throws. Paige is seething, unsure if the heat curling up her spine is from the game or the girl standing next to her.

“Sorry baby, all’s fair in love and war right?” Azzi teases, pinky brushing against the blonde’s, “I’ll make it up to you later if you want.”

“You’re such a fucking menace,” Paige practically growls. She does want, in fact she’d like it right now if it was possible. Two years they’ve been together, longer if you count the inbetween, and still, every time Azzi lights a match, Paige feels herself burn just as brightly as the first time she’d felt that magnetic pull.

“Learnt from the best,” Azzi hums with a grin as Napheesa hits both free throws.

The rest of the game passes in a blur of frenzied shots and hurried fouls but the Lynx pull out an eventual, much-needed win, to better their chances of clinching a higher seed in the playoffs. After missing the playoffs in 2024, the Lynx, despite having relatively low odds, had secured the no.1 pick and there had never really been a doubt that they would pick Paige. She’d helped the team get back to the playoffs last season but they hadn’t made it out of the first round. A championship doesn’t seem quite possible yet, but Paige has her fingers crossed that they’d at least make it to a semi-final this time.

“The two of you are terrible at this,” Aaliyah’s the first person to hug Paige during the handshake line, “I thought you’d jump each other’s bones in the middle of the game today.”

“We’re not that bad,” Paige rolls her eyes at her former teammate. She high-fives a few more of the Mystics team until she gets to Azzi, who’s already smiling, despite the loss. The cameras are quick to crowd them, clearly wanting a more sensational picture than the one they’re likely to get. Still, despite the unwanted attention, Paige lets herself nestle into the crook of Azzi’s neck.

“You owe me twice tonight,” she whispers into the younger girl’s ear, “one for the win and one for that bullshit you pulled on the court tonight.”

Azzi’s voice is breathless when she replies, “I can give you way more than two.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“It’s a promise.”

***

“With the new rules, after this season you’ll be a free agent, have you given any thought to that?”

Waiting for the Lynx’s turn in the media room, Paige hadn’t been paying much attention to the questions being asked to the Mystics players, her focus solely on how hot her girlfriend always looked post games. But the words ‘free agent’ pique her interest. The W had changed the rookie contract rules for first round draftees to two years and that meant both Paige and Azzi would be free agents after this year. But while it hadn’t reached the media quite yet, the Lynx were likely to use their core designation on Paige. Which meant the only one of them making any decision about next season would be Azzi. It was a subject the two of them were cautiously tip-toeing around, using the shield of distance to avoid talking about what it could mean for them.

“I’m focused on the season, this team and the rest of our games. I’m not really thinking about the future,” Azzi answers diplomatically.

“You’ve obviously got very strong ties to the DC area but you also went to UCLA, if the Sparks or maybe even the Valkyries, considering your connection to Steph Curry, were interested, and there have been rumours that they are, would you consider it?” the same reporter prods.

“Again, I’m not currently thinking about any of that,” to anyone else Azzi probably sounds neutral but Paige has studied the sheet music of Azzi’s voice to the point where she knows what’s hidden behind every note, behind every little indent. The tinge of irritation is masked by a smile, but the line of questioning is clearly unappreciated.

“And what about the Lynx?” the persistently oblivious reporter continues and this time Paige sucks in a breath, “you have some ties to that team don't you? Have you given some thought to maybe going there?”

Azzi’s eye twitches ever so slightly, “the Lynx just beat my team. The only thoughts I have right now are about how to beat them next time.”

That elicits a laugh from the media and finally the rather obtuse reporters seem to understand that he’s not going to be able to pry anything newsworthy from Azzi’s mouth. But even if he hasn’t achieved his desired effect, he’s succeeded in making Paige’s mind start running in circles. She hadn’t let herself think about it yet, the potential of Azzi joining the Lynx, the potential of playing with Azzi, the potential of finally just being with Azzi. Because facing the potential for all of that, facing all the things she wants means also facing the potential that maybe Azzi doesn’t want any of that.

***

The air in Paige’s living room is thick with a suffocating tension as she and Azzi sit on opposite ends of the couch. It reminds Paige a little bit of the before, a dreaded version of them she’d foolishly thought they grown out of, until something reminiscent of their past problems had reared its ugly head, and suddenly it feels a bit like she’s playing a losing game.

“Will you please stop that,” she bites out, referring to where Azzi’s foot is incessantly tapping on the wooden floors, “it’s giving me a headache.”

Azzi’s eyes narrow, flashing with irritation, “is it my tapping or the alcohol giving you a headache Paige?”

“I didn’t even drink that much,” Paige says through gritted teeth and Azzi scoffs.

It’s a lie. After both teams were done with post game pressers, she, Azzi and a couple of the other girls had ended up at a local bar as they often did when the other team didn’t have to fly out til the next day. Paige had been tense the whole evening and trying to pretend not to be, especially when Azzi could see right through her façade, had only made the whole thing worse. She wasn’t one to drink too much, always happy just being sufficiently tipsy but then she’d gotten in her head too much. And when the first shot didn’t quite hit the way she needed it to, she’d kept on going, receiving worried looks from all the girls, until Azzi had finally stepped in. The ride back from the bar had been a sobering experience, one look at Azzi’s stoic face, giving away her irritation.

“That’s why you still reek of tequila?”

“How the fuck would you know? You haven’t come near me all night.”

“Don’t you dare try and turn this on me Paige. I tried to talk to you all night til you decided you wanted to act like freshman frat boy,” Azzi spits out, hurt and anger colliding in her voice, “we barely get to spend time together during the season and the one night in forever that we do, you pull this shit?”

They haven’t had an argument like this since they’ve been officially together, the kind of argument that has them balancing on a delicate tight rope, too afraid to take a step backwards in their relationship, and too prideful to take a step forward towards each other.

“I didn’t think you cared about spending time together during the season,” Paige accuses and there’s a sensible part of her, one that’s currently being held captive by the dangers of liquor, that knows it’s a ridiculous allegation.

Azzi stares at her, lips opening and closing in disbelief, “excuse me?”

“It’s pretty simple really Azzi. If you wanna spend the whole season together, the option is right fucking there, but I- I can’t even tell if you’re interested in taking it,” Paige is pacing now, teeth gnawing at her lips like they always do when she’s nervous.

“What- what are you even talking about?” Azzi asks, clearly confused.

“Free fucking agency. They asked you about it and you said you hadn’t thought about it at all. That’s really great to hear Az, really great to know you haven’t thought about how that could literally change our whole fucking life,” and even as the words waterfall out of her mouth, Paige knows she’s being unreasonable, but the mix of stress and alcohol churning in her stomach is just enough to keep her from taking the words back.

“I didn’t- that’s not even what I said. Jesus fucking christ Paige,” Azzi rubs her face, looking defeated.

“So you have thought about it then?”

“Of course I’ve thought about it, “ Azzi throws her hands up, “but I wasn’t gonna tell the media about all of that. But you- you seriously think I haven’t thought about what this means for us? You don’t- do you really think I’m not thinking about you- about us- while trying to make this decision?”

“Well you definitely didn’t think of me- of us- when you chose UCLA,” Paige’s eyes widen at her own words, knowing immediately that of all things she could have said, those were the worst ones, “I- I didn’t mean it like that.”

In front of her, Azzi has gone deathly still, face completely devoid of emotion, until the first tear drops and all of Paige’s anger dissipates, the guilt clawing back with full force.

“I thought we were over that,” Azzi whispers, voice trembling, as she looks down at her hands, “but maybe we’ll never be over that.”

“We are,” Paige sinks to her knees in front of the younger girl, tugging Azzi’s hands into her own, “we are over it. I just- it just slipped out.”

Azzi’s quiet for a moment before she pulls her hands out of the blonde’s grip, sidestepping her as she stands up and Paige feels empty and cold and just a little bit broken.

“Are you leaving?” she whispers, peering up at Azzi through tear soaked eyelashes.

“I think I should, before anything else just slips out,” Paige flinches and Azzi’s expression softens, “I know- I know you didn’t mean it like that but I just- I need some space.”

Panic filters into Paige’s lungs, wrapping its dirty hands and squeezing so tight that she can barely breathe. She’s not sure when she’ll see Azzi again, now that there’s no more Lynx-Mystics games left in the regular season and it’s unlikely with their expected seedings that they’d meet at some point in the playoffs. It’s not like distance is new to them, but in the last two years, they’ve only ever said goodbye with an i love you attached to the end.

“Are you-,” Paige gasps for air, “are you leaving me?”

And it must be written all over Paige's face, just how petrified she is of this moment, because that's all it takes for Azzi to rush back into Paige’s space, hands cupping her cheeks, “oh baby of course not. I just- you’re still drunk and I’m upset and I don’t want us to say anything we don’t mean. And I- need time to think about free agency and I think you- you need time to think about why that slipped out.”

Paige sighs, melting into Azzi’s touch as the knots in her stomach begin to untangle themselves, “you’re so logical.”

“Someone has to be,” a half-smile flitters across the younger girl’s face as she wipes at Paige’s tears, “we’ll figure this out okay? Just- just give me a little bit of time.”

Give me time. It’s a familiar line, so similar to what Azzi had asked for when she was making a decision about college and Paige would be lying if she said there isn’t a part of her that’s terrified fate is going to make them repeat the same mistakes. But part of growing up, Paige surmises, is letting time test you with the same trials and tribulations, and the next time, coming out of the other end on the right side.

And so she squeezes Azzi’s hand, matching the younger girl's half smile, with a soothing one of her own, “okay.”

***

November 2027

Paige doesn't know when she ended up in a love triangle with Azzi and the state of California but she wishes she was competing against an actual person. At least then she could throw a punch at the other guy. The W season is barely over and it seems like every front office has thrown themselves headfirst into convincing free agents to join their team. There’s a couple of teams interested in Azzi, but no one seems to be trying harder than the Los Angeles Sparks. Paige thinks whoever gave that city a name meaning “the angels” could not have been more wrong because really it’s a city full of devils constantly trying to steal her girl and no she’s not being dramatic.

They’re supposed to be leaving for thanksgiving dinner when Azzi’s phone rings and Paige can’t help but roll her eyes when Cameron Brink’s name flashes on the CallerID. The Sparks seemed to have put her as head of their recruiting Azzi campaign and Cam had been diligently doing her part.

“Azzi, Cam’s calling again,” Paige yells out to her girlfriend who’s still not quite finished getting ready.

“Can you pick it up?”

“Do I have to?”

“Paige,” Azzi whines and Paige sighs, hitting the green answering button.

“The amount of times you’ve called my girlfriend this week, Brink, should I be concerned?”

“Jealous I’m replacing you as her favourite blonde?” Cam’s voice always sounds like she’s smiling and Paige can’t help her own smile. Goddamn Cameron Brink for always being the sweetest soul on this planet.

“As if,” Paige scoffs, “it’s a holiday Cam, give the recruiting a rest.”

“Hey, I’m just calling to wish her a happy thanksgiving,” Cam defends.

“Mmmhmm where’s my thanksgiving wish?”

“Oh please, the two of you are basically a unit. Wishing her is wishing you,” Cam is quiet for a second before speaking again, “the Sparks would be a good fit for her Paige.”

Paige sucks in a sharp breath, “I’m not the one you’re gonna have to convince.”

“I know but you know your opinion means a lot to her. I know you want her in Minnesota and she'd be good there too and I- I know it isn’t my place to say any of this but just- just don’t discourage her from doing what’s best for her,” there’s not a hint of malice in Cam’s words, there never is, but they pierce at Paige’s skin anyways.

“Okay I’m ready, hand me the phone,” she’s saved from having to answer by Azzi waltzing into the living room and prying the phone from her hands.

Paige watches silently as Azzi talks animatedly with Cam, noticing the way her girlfriend’s smile widens while talking about certain spots in L.A. They’d subconsciously decided not to breach the subject of free agency after that night. Paige hadn’t interfered in any of the Lynx’s conversations with Azzi, deciding that this time, she’d stay out of it. It hadn’t been easy, every little bit of her itching to pitch why the Lynx were the perfect fit, why Paige was the perfect fit, but she was determined to give Azzi the space -the time- she’d wanted. This time she’d leave the choice solely up to Azzi and whatever she decided, Paige would find her happiness in that.

“Paige you ready to go,” Azzi waves a hand in front of Paige’s face, eyebrows raised in question when the older girl doesn’t make a move to get off the sofa, “hey, you good?”

“Cam says the Sparks would be a good fit,” Azzi stiffens at Paige’s words.

“Paige-”

“She’s right,” Paige concedes, fingers fidgeting as she averts Azzi’s gaze.

The younger girl blinks at her, clearly not having expected that, “she is?”

“Yeah. They need a shooting guard and you,” Paige smiles, reaching out to pull Azzi onto the couch with her, “you’re the best there is.”

“I wouldn’t go that far-”

“You are to me and it’s why I want you on the Lynx,” they both let out a breath with that. It’s not a secret of course but Paige hasn’t said it out loud before.

“Paige-”

“But it’s okay if you don't wanna be on the Lynx, if you wanna be on the Sparks or stay here with the Mystics or on any other team, if you think it’s the right move for you and for your career then that’s fine. It’s okay and you don’t- you don’t need my permission or anything of course but I just- whatever you decide, I’ll support it okay? What I said that night about UCLA- it wasn't- it wasn’t about you. I thought about it like you asked me to and it’s me. I was scared that I would fuck it up again and I’d lose you again-”

“You won’t,” Azzi grabs Paige’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, “I won’t let you.”

“I know. I know now that whatever happens, we’ll be okay. And so you can choose whatever team you want and it won’t- it won’t affect us, I promise. It won’t be like last time I swear. When you make your decision- I just- I don’t want you to make it for me or for us, cause you and me? Baby we’ll be just fine no matter what. Wherever you go and wherever I am, we’ll make it work, just as we have for the last two years,” Paige smirks, “besides I kinda enjoy kicking your ass.”

Azzi lets out a snort as she climbs onto Paige’s lap, thighs straddling her hips, “you really had to ruin it with that last part huh?”

“Was getting a little too sappy for me,” Paige mumbles and when she looks up, the emotions floating in Azzi’s eyes make Paige’s heart stutter. Because no one else gets this Azzi. This Azzi, who wears her heart on her sleeve, who lets her walls down, only for Paige’s eyes to see, only for Paige’s mind to memorise, only for Paige’s heart to keep.

“You mean it?” Azzi whispers, brushing a strand of hair out of Paige’s face, touching lingering, “you’d be okay with anything?”

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Paige cups Azzi’s cheeks, brushing her lips against the younger girl’s, “whatever you choose, we’ll be fine. No matter what, I believe in us.”

***

January 2028

Paige groans when her phone rings at 2 a.m., fumbling around in the dark trying to answer it.

“I swear you better be dying if you’re calling me this late,” she grumbles into the phone, voice scratchy with sleep.

“Not quite,” Azzi says, and Paige’s eyebrows furrow at the amount of background noise she can hear behind her girlfriend.

“Dude where the hell are you at 3 in the morning?” she asks, now a little more awake as she sits up.

“I uh- I had a bit of a revelation,” and Paige can practically picture Azzi, wherever she might be, fidgeting with her fingers and biting her lips.

“That doesn’t explain anything.”

“I know. I know. Shit, I was supposed to do this in person. I had a whole plan but apparently being with you has made me impatient,” Azzi rambles.

“You’re still not making any sense,” but Paige’s heart is starting to beat erratically fast in anticipation.

“I had this realisation while I was in the gym today, it was really quiet and peaceful and I was fine you know- all day I was fine- just doing daily routines and then I just- I missed you. I miss you all the time do you know that?”

Paige does know, knows it far too well. Sometimes she thinks missing Azzi comes as naturally as breathing, an innate part of her day to day, a constant ache that she’s felt since she was 15.

“I miss you too,” she whispers.

“And I’ve learned to survive with that feeling, with missing you constantly. I mean it’s been more than 10 years at this point, how could I not? But what I realised today is that just because I can- just because I can live missing you- doesn’t mean I want to.”

“What are you saying Azzi?”

“DC is my childhood. My family is close to there, it’s part of where I grew up. It’ll always be my first home. And LA is where I found myself, my identity, and for a while it felt like home too.”

“Azzi,” Paige breathes out, hands gripping the phone as tight as possible, wrapping that one syllable in emblems of give me forever.

“But my forever home isn’t in DC or LA and it’s not really in any other place either because- Jesus this might be the clichést thing I’ve ever said but-,” Azzi lets out a chuckle, “my home is wherever you are Paige. Wherever we’re together, that’s home.”

It feels a little bit like the end of a drought, the wetness on Paige’s cheeks like the rain that comes after. In the pitch black of her room, phone clutched closely to her ear with Azzi’s words floating through it like a swan song, Paige swears she’s never felt the world glow quite like this before.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Beating your ass has been fun as hell but I think we’d make a pretty good team Bueckers.”

And it’s a good thing Paige’s walls are soundproof because the delighted whoop she lets out practically vibrates around the room, all previous wisps of tiredness completely gone from her body. Azzi lets out a tearful laugh and Paige wishes they were together right now so she could tattoo this happiness onto both of their skins.

“The greatest team ever,” Paige affirms, “When are you com-”

“Attention passengers Delta Airlines Flight 1248 to Minneapolis will be boarding soon, please have your passport and ticket ready to check at the gate.”

“About that,” Azzi says shyly as Paige’s mouth drops open at the announcement, “I uh- I had a moment of spontaneity.”

“Who the hell are you and what have you done with my overthinking girlfriend?” Paige demands and Azzi giggles on the other end of line.

“I know it’s last minute, like really last minute and it was meant to be a surprise actually but I just- I really wanna see you. Is that okay?”

“Is that okay? Fuck Azzi, it’s all I want. Baby,” Paige breathes out softly, “come home.”

***

Time isn’t going nearly fast enough Paige thinks as she checks the arrivals board for the nth time. She’d tried for about four seconds to fall back asleep after hanging up the phone but her entire body had been buzzing with excitement. And so she’d gotten to the airport far earlier than necessary, and had maybe one too many cups of coffee if the jittery shake in her left hand is anything to go by.

She swears she feels her before she sees her. The air is electric as if the whole city, the whole state is waiting for Azzi too, for them to get their elusive forever. This moment feels like years in the making, and Paige is ready, ready to grasp it and make it hers. And then there’s Azzi, a clearly chosen-at-last minute wrinkled t-shirt, eyes drooping from the tiredness from not having slept all night, baby hairs in a frenzy across her forehead. To Paige, she’s still the prettiest girl in the entire universe.

Azzi’s eyes scan through the airport until they land on Paige, a dazzling smile illuminating her exhausted features. It’s the exact same smile that Paige had first elicited from her on the flight back from Argentina when she’d told Azzi she had a feeling they'd make great friends. It’s her Paige smile. The world is still for a second, everything melting away except them and the whispers of the journey it had taken them to get to this point. Every delicately placed step towards each other feels like an ode to every year they’d spent apart. And then Paige is running, not caring about everyone else around her. She jumps into Azzi’s arm, all 6 feet of her, tangling her legs around the younger girl's waist while her arms fasten around the neck. It forces Azzi to let go of her small carry-on, not caring that it falls to the floor with a thud, as her hands wrap around Paige’s back, steadying her girlfriend’s weight on top of her.

“You’re here,” Paige whispers, still a little in disbelief, “you’re really here.”

“I’ve been in Minny plenty of times before,” Azzi quips, adjusting her balance to properly hold the girl clinging to her like a koala.

“Shut up you know what I mean. You’re here forever this time.”

“Well I don’t know about forever- OW,” Azzi shrieks, as Paige pinches her arm, “do you want me to drop you woman?”

“You’re never allowed to leave.”

“That sounds vaguely threatening.”

“Good because it definitely is a threat,” Paige says before pulling Azzi into a searing kiss, “welcome home baby.”

***

October 2028

There are moments in life you remember forever. Sometimes you know they’re going to happen, sometimes they take you off guard and sometimes, it’s a combination of both. The Minnesota Lynx’s journey to the WNBA finals this season had always felt inevitable but the journey there, for a team that had unexpectedly fallen to the 4-seed despite pre-season clamour of them being number one, had been filled with bitter losses and moments of pure uncertainty. In a way, it perfectly mirrors Paige and Azzi’s relationship.

There’s 11 seconds separating the Lynx from their 5th championship trophy as they lead the Sky by two points. The crowd is up on their feet, ready for their cheering to turn into roars the minute the final buzzer rings. Paige has the ball in her hands on the inbound, Coach Reeves yelling at her from the bench what to do, as she makes eye contact with Azzi. There are no words, not even a gesture that the other team might be able to interpret, but they know exactly what play they’re about to run.

Truth be told it hadn’t been the seamless transition the two of them had expected when Azzi joined the Lynx. They’d been naive to think years of not playing together wouldn’t have affected the backcourt chemistry they’d had almost instantly once upon a time. The first few games, there had been an embarrassing disconnect between the two of them that had resulted in a nasty berating from Coach Reeves and a subsequent argument between the two of them that had lasted into the next morning. It had taken several more practices, and a couple more games of flailing around, for them to finally become the duo Paige had always known they would.

The game buzzer beeps and Paige throws the ball to Azzi who immediately returns it back to her, and then she’s running off screen after screen to get herself open on the wing, her sweet spot. Paige dribble penetrates into the paint, dragging an extra defender with her as they try to prevent her from getting a layup, the other defender blocks her from stepping back into a pull-up. Azzi’s defender has a momentary lapse in judgement, falling for the age-old trick of thinking she should help on defence, and that’s all it takes. A second for Paige to see Azzi open on the corner and pass it to her. A second for Azzi to shoot it.

The three-pointer falls through the next with a perfect swish. Dagger shot.

A small smile flits across Azzi’s face, the only emotion she’s shown all game and Paige can’t help the much larger grin that starts to flash on her own face. She can almost taste victory on the tip of her tongue, the two seconds left in the game are the only thing separating her from finally getting her version of the things we live for. Behind her she can hear Coach Reeves yelling at them to not foul, the 5-point lead enough of a cushion for them to withstand a last minute shot. But the Sky barely make it over midcourt and when Marina Mabrey heaves up a last second prayer, Paige doesn’t bother to see if it goes in as the buzzer sounds throughout Target Arena. The Minnesota crowd explodes in noise and colour as confetti falls from the sky.

Despite the chaos of everything, Paige has never seen Azzi clearer than in this moment. Since she’d met the girl, in all of Paige’s prayers about winning a championship, one thing had always been constant, that when they’d come true, they’d come true with Azzi by her side. And she had been. The high school state champion, the college national championship, Azzi had been there for both but on the bleachers, as a spectator and as Paige’s biggest fan. But this, winning a championship with Azzi as her teammate, as her ally, as her partner, means something more. This win is theirs.

“Do you remember when we saw that shooting star?” Azzi says softly, as they find their way into each other’s arms, not caring that there’s a thousand cameras capturing their every move. Paige pulls Azzi closer to her, every inch of her body pressing into the other girls until she’s not sure where she begins and where Azzi ends.

“That was years ago,” Paige remarks but she can see it clearly, two young girls underneath the stars, unaware of what their future would be but sure that the other would be in it. Those girls would probably laugh at how long it had taken Paige and Azzi to figure out what had seemed so simple back then.

“Yeah, yeah it was. Do you remember what you wished for?” Azzi asks, smiling when Paige nods, “do you wanna know what I wished for?”

“What did you wish for Az?”

“Before we saw the star you- you said it’d be nice to win a championship together someday. And so I-,” Azzi looks down shyly, “so I wished for someday. I wished for today.”

Paige stares at Azzi, drinking in the sincerity on the shooting guard’s face, silently letting herself absorb the meaning of Azzi’s words. And then she lets out a laugh because of course of course.

“I didn’t realise I’d said anything funny for you to be laughing at me,” Azzi scrunches her nose, looking slightly offended.

“God baby no,” Paige cups Azzi’s face, and she thinks this smile on her face will last forever as long as this is her reality, “I’m not laughing at you. I just- do you know what I wished for?”

Azzi shakes her head.

“This. The same exact thing you did. For someday.”

It’s not quite the shade of blue Paige had imagined them in, the Lynx blue its own shade, something inbetween UConn’s navy one and UCLA’s sky one. But it’s perfect nonetheless. And when Azzi crashes her lips against Paige’s, someday feels a lot like forever and always.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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sunflowerim · 2 days

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some lines from Solitaire that just hit too close to home

“Tori,” says Becky, “you look a little bit like you want to kill yourself.”

I deflate into a chair and nod philosophically. “It’s funny because it’s true.”

My name is Victoria Spring. I think you should know that I make up a lot of stuff in my head and then get sad about it. I like to sleep and I like to blog. I am going to die someday.

Sometimes I hate people. This is probably very bad for my mental health.

personally, thinking or talking too much about “boy issues” makes me want to shoot myself in the face.

I am a vacuum. I am void. I am nothing.

THREE THE FIRST THING I do when I get home from school is collapse onto my bed and turn on my laptop. This happens every single day. If I’m not at school, you can guarantee that my laptop will be somewhere within a two-meter radius of my heart. My laptop is my soul mate.

I really don’t do anything unless I actually want to do it. And most of the time I don’t want to do anything at all.

Smoking is so pointless. The only reason I can think of for smoking is if you want to die. I don’t know. Maybe they all want to die.

When you watch a film, you’re sort of an outsider looking in. With a book—you’re right there. You are inside. You are the main character.

I don’t want people to be worried about me. There’s nothing to worry about. I don’t want people to try and understand why I am the way I am, because I should be the first person to understand that. And I don’t understand yet. I don’t want people to interfere. I don’t want people in my head, picking out this and that, permanently picking up the broken pieces of me.

We’re so used to disaster that we accept it. We think we deserve it.

Did you have a bad day?”

“Yes. Always.”

I haven’t ever known what I wanted out of life. Until now. I sort of want to be dead.

Tori's pov really is something.

#osemanverse #alice oseman #tori spring #victoria spring #solitaire #michael holden #sprolden

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absolutehomosexuals · 2 days

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Whenever people claim "[origin characters] show attraction to all genders", they often point to Astarion's party banter.

Which leaves us pretty confused because, if anything, it shows he has no clue what he's doing with women.

He's known to be this skilled seducer – the fantasy equivalent of a prostitute and, canonically, his pimp's favourite – yet his advances towards female companions come off as clumsy.

We've always chalked it up to him being a snarky little shit, with a touch of stereotypical gay man attitude¹, but the implications of it being genuine are terrifying.

As far as we know, Astarion gathered prey for at least two centuries, and he only ever talks about his male victims: Sebastian and the so-called darling boy were his only sincere relationships.

If you romance him, he justifies his initial manipulation by saying he only ever seduces people he's genuinely attracted to.

Couple that with the fact we never hear about any women, can it really be a coincidence on his writer’s part?

All we’re saying is, he probably didn't pick up his victims by calling them "a pretty flower", which unironically sounds like someone's first attempt at flirting in a lifetime.

We're even more appalled when people claim he flirted with Lae'zel (who he briefly teased and later implied he wasn't actually interested in, when she asked him why he hasn't tried to "bed" her yet) or Karlach (he seems to sympathize with her quite a bit due to their shared slavery trauma, offering to show her the Upper City when she implies she's never been – didn't come off as sexual at all, honestly).

If anything, his comments towards Wyll sound way more sexually-charged, going as far as to say he was the man Astarion dreamed to marry when he was younger.

And we know Wyll is the furthest thing from his current type, given his approval options.

A history of successfully, and famously, hitting on men coupled with overly-friendly, borderline exuberant interactions with women... wonder what subculture that reminds us of!

Hint: it's gay male subculture.

We also tend to forget Astarion's perception of his own sexuality is extremely screwed, because centuries of repeated sexual abuse will do that to you.

He's canonically riding that post-escape wave of mania and engaging in sexually risky behaviour (e.g the foursome with the drow twins at Sharess' Caress) + putting on an "open minded, experienced lover" façade (e.g justifying the MC upon being cheated on with Mizora and allowing them to sleep with Halsin to make up for the lack of sex in their relationship).

To put it gracefully: he fucks his way in and out of situations, exchanging sex with favours/protection is second nature to him at this point.

He's forcefully trying to reclaim his sexuality, biting off more than he can chew and re-traumatizing himself in the attempt: what's a little flirting with women to make sure his new allies are on his good side, after all? He surely can't be violated more than he already has been.

What's the damage in agreeing to sleep with a heart-broken Lae'zel at the tiefling party, at this point? It's the perfect manipulation, laid out for him on a silver plate. Also, we know from his confession scene that Astarion's first sexual proposal to Tav was indeed a form of manipulation: he admits that the initial reason why he pursued the player was to seek the protection of someone stronger and to make sure that the party won't kick him out. So, in the instance of Tav refusing him (the only option that triggers the scene between him and Lae'zel), it's only logical that he'd run in the arms of the next best thing, which in this case is Lae'zel, a great warrior that's eager to find a partner for the night.

And when she claims he performed flawlessly? That's the same thing the narrator tells you during the Sharess' Caress scene, only to reveal he's dissociated into oblivion.

Of course Larian didn't want to restrict players' options by locking certain romances, but we’re sorry to announce… he's still not beating the allegations.

¹ Being visibly gay = not being perceived as a threat by women, thus taking liberties such as sarcastic "flirting" towards female acquaintances.

Karlach refers to him as "fancy-boy" if she's in your party while recruiting him, so he is perceived that way in canon.

We can also see Gale being uncomfortable around him at first, especially when Astarion tries to strike up a conversation through party banter, for seemingly no reason – which seems like a pretty clear hint to us.

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alphajocklover · 9 hours

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I'd like to see how my life would have turned out, 20 years ago, had I joined my college football team instead of the college theater group.

Fuck. Fucking hell this fucking sucks. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude. It’s not you, you’re not the reason I’m upset. Your request is interesting and I want to help you with it, I really do. It’s just… to do this, we’re going to have to use time travel. It’s not that it’s impossible or anything, I actually own a time machine so that’s not an issue. It’s that… I fucking hate time travel.

I don’t hate the concept of time travel itself. I think it can be a lot of fun in works of fiction. Doctor Who, Back to the Future, and Star Trek are all things that heavily feature time travel that I’m a big fan of. It’s just that, in real life, it gets so stupidly complicated. You know how every work of fiction seems to have different rules for turn travel? In real life time travel follows all these rules and none of them all at once. If that seems confusing, that’s because it is. It’s insane. But it’s the best chance for doing this, so we’re going to give it a try. Now, close your eyes and hold onto me tight. This is going to feel weird.

You can open your eyes now. Be careful though, it’s going to take a second for your eyes to adjust. We’re outside now, on the football field of your old college. You don’t have to worry about anyone seeing us. I may hate time travel but the time machine is pretty useful. Time travel, space travel, and camouflage. But that’s not important right now. See that skinny guy standing on the opposite side of the field? You should recognize him. It’s you, 20 years ago, as a college freshman. You really wanted to join the football team huh? I can see the longing in your eyes… but also some serious nervousness. I’m guessing this is about when you back out and decide to join the school's theater group. Not this time though. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna change anything drastic. I’m just going to give you a little… push in the right direction. Have to get you to join the team somehow. I just have to whisper some things in his, or I guess your ear while we’re in camouflage… and just like that everything is going to change. Welcome to the football team. You’re a little late on becoming a jock, but you’re a hard worker. You’ll catch up. Speaking of which…

We jumped forward in time. I probably should have warned you, I was just excited to see the changes. We’re not all the way back to the present, not yet. It’s been a year since the other you joined the football team, and just like I predicted you caught up real quick. Even when you were in theater you were a hard worker, and now that you’ve dedicated yourself to football instead, you’re an absolute beast. You’ve had a major growth spurt and fit right in with the guys who have been playing football since middle school, a total jock through and through. Looks like this version of you acts a little more jockish too. Probably because you’ve been spending so much time around jocks, they’ve been rubbing off on you. Literally in one very special case. That’s right, the new you managed to do what you never could in college: get a jock boyfriend. In the original timeline he never even looked your way, but now Tim Wire, the most popular jock in school, is head over heels for you. You two seem to have a great relationship… Let's see if it lasts.

Another jump forward, a much bigger one this time. It’s been about 5 years since you joined the football team. You didn’t go professional, not because you couldn’t but because you didn’t want to. A guy like you could have been a superstar, but you and your fiancée Tim agreed you both wanted something more stable. So you opened up a chain of gyms. It’s a small business, but it has a lot of potential for growth, especially with you as the face of the operation. You basically have it made. You own a small, successful business, have a sexy husband, and are about to adopt a 3 year old. Your life is fucking perfect. Let’s see if it gets better.

A final jump forward. We’re 20 years after you joined the football team, back into the present. You’re still the old you, but that’s only because I have to ‘finalize’ the changes. Take a look around. You might not recognize this place, this huge mansion, but it’s your home. You, your husband Tim, and your adopted son all live here together. This must be your home gym, and I believe that’s you and him flexing over there. Looks like the little guy ended up taking after his dads. He’s huge for an 18 year old. He’s smart too, all ready to take over the family business when you retire. Your gyms are a very successful franchise now, if you can’t tell from the sheer size of your house. It’s just my opinion but I think your life really would have been better if you joined the football team back then. And now it can be. All you need to do is press this button, and finalize the changes. It’s your choice-

Ok, that was quick. I guess it was an easy choice. I hope you enjoy your new life. I would if I were you. I mean a muscular sexy husband, a son you can be proud of, a successful business and an incredible amount of muscles and confidence. You’ve got it made. I just hope we didn’t change too much. I didn’t realize you’d start a gym franchise. That could have a big impact.

I’m sure it’s nothing though. I mean, how many lives can a gym really change?

#muscle growth tf #muscle tf #jock tf #jock transformation #jockification #nerd to jock #reality change #retcon #time travel tf #DILF tf

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digitalafterlife · 1 day

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Hi im new at this doctor who stuff and im. What. What the fuck. What was that. Is it like that. Just that just happen sometimes or

no, that actually never happens. that’s a first, and frankly we’re all discombobulated just as much as you. to be completely honest, if you’re new, don’t start with what rtdisney calls “season 1”. it’s not the first season, they’re lying to you, it’s not a good starting point — the show is actually on series 14.

so the best advice you’re going to get from me is: time travel back to 2005 (metaphorically speaking) and start watching from the real series 1, starring christopher eccleston as the ninth doctor. i managed it in 4 months (admittedly; i was mostly unemployed). if you’re a fast binger you can do it in one.

that’s just a general recommendation, though, and has nothing to do with the outlandish fever nightmare that was 73 yards. we’re going to be untangling it for a long time yet. nothing you see in all of the 20 years that nuwho has been running will serve as any explanation to whatever just went on.

the only thing that’s constant about doctor who is that it’s always changing, always in flux. you never know what genre you’re going to expect. everybody thought it’d be wicker man type classic folk horror, but what we got was a cross between david fucking lynch, years and years, and an episode of the sarah jane adventures.

have fun. don’t worry about it. this one is an outlier for real

#dw #doctor who #73 yards #asks #fifteen #fifteenth doctor #ncuti gatwa #millie gibson #ruby sunday #russell t davies #nuwho #kitty.txt

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poppitron360 · 2 days

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Ok so in another post I talked about all the reasons why Valzhang is better than Caleo, and I wanted to do one on Valgrace as well (lmk if this should become a series).

Bear in mind I am only on HoH- I haven’t read all of the Caleo bits yet, but I know she ain’t gonna treat him right.

I was originally SUPER sceptical about Valgrace (“I ship them platonically” “Jason is the Token Straight Friend”) and while I don’t think it was ever cannon I 100% THINK IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

Seriously, my eyes have been opened to Valgrace, to the point where the fanfic I’m writing about them currently clocks in at around 5,934 words.

I am OBSESSED. It is a PROBLEM.

And some of the fanarts/fanfics of them are SO CUTE I COULD DIE- it was hard NOT to ship them after reading some of y’all’s stuff. Keep up the good work.

Anyway buckle up ‘cause I’m ‘bouta write a whole dam essay on this.

1. The whole appeal of Jason Grace’s character is that he sees through your insecurities and lifts you up because he is too pure for this world. So narratively speaking, why is he with the most stable character? Yeah, Piper’s got issues, but compared to the others? She’s doing pretty well for herself. I mean, her parents are ALIVE!! Wouldn’t it just make more sense, narratively speaking, to put Jason with the MOST insecure character??? He can support Leo, help him in his arc, and it would give Jason a time to shine by highlighting his best qualities.

2. Throughout most of the books, Jason is the ONLY ONE who actually consistently sees through Leo’s mask. Everyone else’s POV of Leo is “Haha Leo said something funny and goofy and we’re all trying to be serious here, Leo. Gods, he’s soooo annoying!”, whereas Jason’s POV is like “Jason could see that Leo was desperately trying to keep it together for the good of the group, and he thought that was noble and brave and good and kind and awesome.” Like I said above, he’s able to lift Leo up because he sees him, and knows him. Something Calypso never did. There are several interactions, during TLH particularly, where Jason is just like “Hey, Leo? You are great. You are awesome. You have saved our lives multiple times. Whatever just went wrong, it wasn’t your fault. Stop beating yourself up about everything. You are a valued and respected member of this team. I love and appreciate you.” And Leo still puts up those walls with the jokes and the sarcastic remarks, and Jason is nothing but patient with him. Calypso was never like that.

3. I can’t find the line in the book, but there’s a bit in HoH where Jason’s worrying about the “To Storm or Fire, the World must fall” line in the prophecy, and he says words to the effect of “I like living, but I’d rather I die than Leo, anyway horses-” and seriously?? Rick missed a trick by not making them a couple. There is WAY more potential for angst if there’s that romantic feeling involved, knowing one of them is going to die, and both being willing to sacrifice themselves for one another like this is “Merchant of Venice” or something (I will explain the obscure Shakespeare reference in the comments). Calypso would never give up her LIFE for Leo, and Leo would only give up his because she’s hot.

4. Okay, most of this is copy-pasted from my post about Valzhang, but it still applies, and it applies to them maybe more so. They get so much more time together to establish a meaningful relationship. Their arc carries over all five books, and we get to form connections as a reader to them both, so the payoff is a lot more satisfying. Unlike Calypso, Jason is his own character separately, and not just an add-on to Leo’s arc. Their friendship is a key focus in their chapters, and a key point in their character development, as Jason is the first person Leo ever opens up to about his mom. When Calypso showed up, Leo had already gone through that journey of letting down those walls, so it was a lot less meaningful. They had little to no time to develop a relationship, and we never get a chance to care about Calypso as a person. She’s just kind of a plot point for Leo/Percy’s own development, and never her own character.

5. What separates Leo and Calypso from the other relationships in the series is that they were not written for each other. Frank and Hazel? Written for each other. Jason and Piper? Written for each other. Percy and Annabeth? FUCKING WRITTEN TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER. Cal was brought in during BoTL to cockblock Percabeth, and then Rick realised Leo “needed” a girlfriend, so picked her. But you know what two characters were written to be best friends right from the get-go? Like literally it’s established in the first couple pages of the first book? Jason and Leo. Much like how Valzhang were always meant to be rivals, Jason and Leo were always meant to be best friends.

6. Like I said in the last post, Leo doesn’t NEED a girlfriend. He can heal his trauma with friends and found family, learning to love and accept himself, learning that he doesn’t actually need the attention of a hot girl to be valid. Jason is the best person to help him on that journey, seeing as how his character thrives in uplifting others. The only person who ever loved Leo unconditionally died when he was eight. His blood relatives abandoned him, and he clearly wasn’t treated very well in the foster homes. He constantly feels like he has to work to prove he’s earned his place among the Seven because for him, family has never been a guarantee. Jason cares for Leo even when he’s fucked up, even when he’s a crying mess on the floor, even when he feels most like he doesn’t deserve to be cared for. Leo thinks he needs the attention of a hot girl to give him validation. What he really needs is to find a place among his brethren- and Jason offers him that place.

So, kids, that was it for today’s edition of “Why Literally Any Ship Is Better Than Caleo”. Tune in next time for our fav ✨trauma twinsies✨ Valdangelo!

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writing-for-life · 2 days

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Ok, I’m not going to get involved in a certain thread because I don’t want any drama and the line of argumentation leans too much to one side already (the views of the vocal majority in this fandom) for it to make much sense to contribute, but I had a few thoughts today:

In a fandom where people write AUs full of cows and merpeople and other shenanigans that have nothing to do with canon (or the actual characters, to be frank), they can’t do that for Calliope (or any other female character, for that matter)?

She doesn’t get to play in the sandbox?

We don’t have the imagination to turn her into one of the two dolls that kiss?

We have to keep her in character while everyone else can be turned into… whatever person (certainly neither the one of the comics nor the show)?

We constantly have to remember her strife and trauma and can’t invent (!, that’s what writing is about!) a different or new side to her? Or a better future? One in which she gets to be happy?

Or we can’t turn her into someone she canonically isn’t?

While all of this always, always works for Dream? Or the hairy guy?

And speaking of said guy: Do we have any reason to think Dream would treat him better than Nada? We’re automatically assuming he’d do the same thing to Calliope, but not to him? Or: Why do we assume he would do what he did to Nada to any other love interest, because canonically, there’s no evidence for that (we wrote about this on here before)? So no, that line of argument just doesn’t fly in my view.

If Calliope and Dream have chemistry and people are able to acknowledge it (which most do), that on its own is enough to ship them. The chemistry argument works with every M/M ship. Why doesn’t it work with her?

Oh, she is allowed in gen fics (and I am a fan of those btw, but that’s past the point), or as a character with very little agency, or any personal or sexual desires. Even better if she serves the ship. That’s okay of course, I forgot. Reminds me of most of the women of the Sandman—I wonder why.

I just wish people would give the honest reason without going through all the mental gymnastics of why Dreamuse is not an interesting (or even bad or problematic) ship, and the other one is the best invention since sliced bread:

They want to see/imagine two guys together.

There, I said it, it wasn’t hard. It’s really as simple as that in fandom, it’s a predictable fantasy, and it’s the same in every fandom. The Sandman isn’t any different.

M/F ships are frowned upon because they’re “heteronormative”, and yet, (mostly) women proceed to project (mostly) heteronormative relationship dynamics on two guys of which they fancy at least one and use the other to project themselves on. Sometimes, they fancy both of them and get more of what they have the hots for. Good for them, there’s nothing wrong with it. We have oodles of research by now why some women prefer M/M porn; it’s not earth-shattering, groundbreaking or “queer-positive” (it sometimes fetishises homosexuality though, but that’s a different topic). It’s been like that since at least the times of Spirk, and probably longer. It’s actually a fairly (dare I utter the word on here?) straight female sexual fantasy. The queer-positivity everyone is so enamoured with is more than, and not singularly limited to, shipping M/M—as a bisexual woman, I personally can’t identify with that line of thinking at all, but other people’s mileage might vary…

If people are into smutty/explicit fanfic , that’s just how it works: Some women project on a female body while imagining to get railed by a guy, others prefer to imagine two guys because they fancy men. Again: Nothing wrong with it, but it’s also not as deep as people often pretend it is.

Yes, I wrote about that one before as well. That’s why I can do it again—“once your reputation is ruined” and all that 🤣

It’s ok to be horny for two guys without turning it into a brain-contorting statement every time.

It’s also okay to reflect on the wider implications of completely erasing women from EVERY fandom, especially if you identify as one.

#the sandman #sandman #dreamuse #dream of the endless #calliope the sandman #ye olde #fandom misogyny #morpheus #calliope sandman #oneiros x calliope #Morpheus x Calliope #Dream x Calliope

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saphronethaleph · 17 hours

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Task Failed Successfully

Senator Amidala closed the door to the Naboo senatorial office, and smiled.

“All right,” she said. “Knight Kenobi, Padawan Skywalker. I’m glad the two of you were available.”

“We are, of course, at the disposal of the Senate,” Obi-Wan said.

“And I can guess what the problem is,” Anakin added. “Can’t you, Master?”

“Of course, my young padawan,” Obi-Wan replied. “But what about if the Senator explains?”

“To put it simply, then,” the Senator said. “The Supreme Chancellor would like to know what in the galaxy the Kaminoans are talking about.”

Anakin blinked.

“You don’t know?” he asked. “He doesn’t know?”

“The Senate has some idea of some details, but at this point some or all of them could be incorrect,” Padme replied. “And the Chancellor wanted me to try and understand the specifics.”

“That… could be a problem,” Obi-Wan admitted. “Because the Council doesn’t have much idea either.”

“We were speaking with them for over an hour,” Anakin contributed. “Master is one of the better diplomats in the Jedi Order… we were actually told to try and find out who in the Senate might know what’s going on.”

Padme frowned, slightly. “You mean you were trying to find out if someone in the Senate had done this?” she asked. “But the army was ordered for the Jedi.”

“So we’ve been told,” Obi-Wan replied. “Obviously, it’s only been a few hours, but we haven’t been able to come to any conclusions – and, to put it bluntly, Senator, it could be that this army was ordered with the blame being placed on the Jedi in order to confuse the issue.”

Padme considered that.

“Possible, but I don’t think it’s likely,” she said. “Whoever ordered this army clearly had a reason behind what they were doing, we just don’t know what it is.”

“Which means we’re just going around in circles,” Anakin concluded.

“Perhaps, but simply hearing it from Padme has been useful,” Obi-Wan said. “I hope you’ll keep us informed if you learn anything?”

“Of course,” Padme smiled. “The two of you helped save my planet, Obi-Wan, Ani. You’re friends.”

“The Jedi Order teaches us to avoid attachment,” Anakin said, then grinned slightly. “But friends don’t count, right?”

“If friends did count, then I don’t think most of the Order would be very happy,” Obi-Wan replied.

“Yeah, true,” Anakin agreed. “I think Yoda still sends holocalls to his last padawan.”

“Is there something unusual about that?” Padme asked.

“It’s… more of Order business than anything,” Obi-Wan said. “My padawan really shouldn’t have passed on gossip like that. It’s not going to do him any good when it comes to whether he’ll be knighted.”

“Master,” Anakin complained. “You said I had nothing to worry about!”

“And you seem determined to prove me wrong,” Obi-Wan replied. “Perhaps you can prove me wrong about proving me wrong about that.”

Anakin’s lips moved.

“...okay?” he tried. “I’ll do my best, Master.”

“In that case, Anakin, I will have nothing to worry about,” Obi-Wan replied.

Padme smiled.

“So what are you going to do with the army, anyway?” she asked.

“That’s a very good question, but you should probably ask one of the members of the Council,” Obi-Wan replied.

“Master, everyone knows you’re going to be on the Council some time soon,” Anakin said.

“And I’m not one yet, and everyone doesn’t include me,” Obi-Wan pointed out. “But… really, that does depend on who and why there would be an order of over a million clones to fight for the Jedi. The only possibility I can think of is the Sith, but… why would the Sith order an army for the Jedi?”

“If it’s a Sith plot, do you have any chance of unravelling it?” Padme asked, worried. “You stopped whatever they were trying to do with Naboo.”

“Did we?” Obi-Wan asked.

“No, I mean you, specifically,” Padme replied. “And you, Anakin. The Droid Control Ship was key to whatever it was they were doing, and Obi-Wan killed a Sith.”

“And there’s been no sign of the other in a decade,” Obi-Wan said, thinking back to the Naboo crisis. “Though… now I come to think about that particular series of events, Senator, I do have to ask whether a specific member of the Senate was involved.”

“With the Sith?” Padme asked.

“There’s got to have been some Senators working with the Sith, back then,” Anakin pointed out.

“Perhaps, but that’s not what I mean,” Obi-Wan explained. “I mean the clone army. Because if there is anyone who could accidentally order an army, it is the junior Senator from Naboo.”

He turned, to direct something that was not quite a glare at Senator Binks. “Isn’t that right, Jar Jar?”

“Mesa not as bad as all dat,” Jar Jar protested. “Mesa been doing quite well for mesa self in the last ten years. Mesa has been takin’ classes on avoidin’ disaster and not bein’ clumsy.”

“Perhaps you have,” Obi-Wan said, relenting slightly. “But you must admit, Jar Jar, that certain events have given you a reputation it will take many years to live down yet.”

Jar Jar sighed.

“Mesa knows dat,” he admitted. “Theres-a all kinds of jokes about mesa. It seems like even when mesa floatin’ legislation, people makin’ jokes about waterfalls.”

Obi-Wan nodded, closing his eyes for a moment.

“I apologize, Jar Jar,” he said. “It’s easy for me to forget that you have to deal with that reputation all the time.”

“Yeah,” Jar Jar said.

“Speaking of which,” Anakin began. “Did anyone ever figure out how that happened? If they did, I missed it.”

“Mesa has said it over and over again,” Jar Jar protested. “Mesa was simply showin’ the bombad Chancellor-Elect the really pretty bits of Theed that mesa wasn’t sure that he’sa seen before, and mesa was wavin’ mesa hands around, and mesa… made a boopjak, big mistake.”

“The Chancellor-Elect fell three hundred and eighty metres,” Obi-Wan said. “Then he hit the ground, and exploded. It put something of a damper on the celebrations.”

“Jar Jar does know this,” Padme pointed out. “And he’s heard it over and over. He’s done his very best to put it behind him, and is as valued an ally of Chancellor Stonk as I am.”

“Hesa was a big supporter of rebuildin’ Naboo!” Jar Jar said, brightening as he rebounded in the way only he could. “Stonks even gone to the moon!”

“I heard about the colonization project of Ohma-D’un,” Anakin said, interested. “Do you think the terraforming equipment could be used to help make a planet less dry and sandy?”

He frowned. “Actually, Master… could we use the army for that? The only reason the Republic won’t do anything about Outer Rim slavery is that it would mean building an army, right?”

Padme looked interested, but frowned.

“We’d probably need to find where it came from, first,” she said. “But… I’ll definitely suggest it, Ani.”

She smiled. “Assuming the Senate gets any say in what to do with the army, of course.”

#anakin skywalker #padme amidala #obi wan kenobi #jar jar binks #star wars #fall damage #They don't know what he landed on to explode like that #but it must have been something

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tenebrous-academic · 1 day

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Ooooh what are your thoughts on what it's like for Tommy at Harbor, and what his coworkers are like?

Anon. I had such a good answer written. It was literally perfect. And then I accidentally closed the ask and it deleted itself 🙃 I don’t know if this answer will be as good, but I’ll do my best.

I LOVE this question first of all. A lot of my favourite fics have had Buck going to the Harbour while Tommy is working and he meets his coworkers who are thrilled to meet the man Tommy can’t stop talking about. And they tease Tommy endlessly about the way he can’t stop smiling at his phone whenever Buck texts him. It’s such a welcoming and supportive workspace. But it took work for Tommy to open himself up to that.

When he was under Captain Gerrard he was utterly repressed and hiding so much of himself. He would laugh at the jokes or stay silent to keep the target off his back. It was a toxic environment we saw him only begin to break free of when he saw that there were other ways of living, of being true to himself. Even when Bobby came it wasn’t our Bobby. It wasn’t even Season One Bobby. It was a Captain who was still traumatized and was only focused on keeping his team safe, healthy, and cohesive. But it wasn’t a family, not yet.

By the time Tommy gets to the Harbour I think he had more confidence in himself and a desire to find his own place. He saw how Chimney and Hen were beginning to find their way under Bobby and he wanted something like that for himself, but it couldn’t be with the 118. Not when the memory of who he pretended to be hung over him like a spectre. And not when the itch to be in the air again just wouldn’t go away. So he heads out - not running away, but not not running away. And when he does enter the Harbour for the first time, I think he sees the possibilities that are open to him for the first time in his life. So when a coworker asks if he has a girlfriend, he takes a risk and says “No, I just broke up with my ex-boyfriend actually and I’m taking my time.” Or “No, but I am seeing a pretty great guy right now and we’re seeing where it’s going.” That’s it. No negative reaction, no sneers or pulling away. Just easy acceptance. Tommy is safe to be himself here and he can finally breathe.

I also think that it’s likely that a lot of the pilots are ex-army, and it creates an atmosphere of a fraternity more than a family. They’re brothers and sisters in arms and, more importantly, they’re bad-ass pilots! They razz on each other and joke, but it’s all with an undercurrent of respect and friendship running through it.

It’s not a family the way the 118 grew to be. It’s a collection of people crazy enough to go up into the air and fly into fires. Their friends and partners, but not family. And that’s okay, because Tommy didn’t go there looking for a family. He went there looking for belonging and acceptance, and he found it. And, now, he can start building that family with Buck.

#I love these asks btw #rip my first answer #I hope this is okay #only I will know how wonderful you were #I suppose this second answer is okay 😂#I got to elaborate more on certain points #but I don’t know if I was as eloquent in this one #oh well!#you guys are making my night #911 abc #9 1 1 abc #911 speculation #tommy kinard #evan buck buckely #tevan #kinley #bucktommy

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bestworstcase · 2 days

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actually comparing the divine ultimatum in the sanctioned version of ‘the two brothers’ to what the god of light really said to ozma is interesting. the received version is:

if your kind has learned to live in harmony with one another and set aside their differences, then we shall once again live among you, and humanity will be made whole again. but if your kind is unchanged, if you demand our blessings while still fighting amongst yourselves, then man will be found irredeemable and your world will be wiped from existence.

and the sanctioned version is:

If they are worthy, we will take their forms and walk among them as equals. If not, we will take back our gifts and start over elsewhere. […] Humanity will make it plain. If they come together in unity and find a way to destroy the evil in the world and within themselves, then they are worthy. If not … we will let them burn.

there are… two interesting alterations here.

#1, "we shall once again live among you and humanity will be made whole" becomes "the gods will take human forms and walk among us as our equals." gestures at ‘the gift of the moon’ and ozpin’s commentary thereupon…

One interpretation of this story focuses on the fact that the people caused the problem in the first place. But in my view, it is only natural for us to want to bring more light into the world and “reach for the sun.” And on the brighter side, if you’ll excuse the pun, people were also part of the solution. They not only replaced the sun, a celestial gift from the all-powerful God of Light, but also improved upon it through their own ingenuity. Most importantly, they could not have accomplished this magnificent, godly feat without uniting for a common purpose in a way they never had before. The world once was divided between day and night, light and darkness, but by coming together, and overcoming their inherent jealousy and resentment, people made the darkness just a little bit brighter for all.

…wherein ozpin sidles right up to the precipice of I Stand With My Damned Wife: it’s "only natural" to "reach for the sun," used here explicitly as an allegory for the gifts or blessing of the "all-powerful god of light," whom humanity "replaced" with something better through their own "ingenuity" (even the smallest spark of hope is enough to ignite change, and in time, man’s passion, resourcefulness, and ingenuity led them to the tools that would help even the odds) by uniting for a "common purpose" (when banded together, unified by a common enemy, they are a noticeable threat).

he also echoes the closing passage of ‘the shallow sea’ here in naming jealousy and resentment as the problem ("And the descendants of the Humans who turned away from our god’s great gift have always carried envy in their hearts. To this day, they resent us for reminding them of what they are not and what they never can be."), which suggests he did understand exactly what salem meant when she quoted that myth in relation to the brothers—that the brothers were jealous and resentful because humankind had risen anew without them and had no need of their old masters any longer.

he’s still talking about humankind setting aside their differences and coming together, of course, but whereas in previous commentaries ozpin frames this as a difficult ideal to strive for lest we all destroy ourselves, here his tone turns hopeful: coming together is more than possible, humanity has done it before to replace the gods’ design with something greater.

gestures at until the end. "to live free, or die, it’s all the same/the enemy was right, there’s no reclaiming/in waves of shame/we’re desperate to make amends…"

the essential problem for ozma is this: by the time he becomes headmaster ozpin of beacon academy, he’s come around to salem’s thinking on the mandate, to whit that redemption is impossible and thus the only choices are to accept death or to try, once more, to fight for humanity’s freedom. yet he still believes in the infinite divine authority of the gods—he is certain that rebellion can end only in death—and moreover he believes that what he’s done is unforgivable, that it is impossible to make amends. and he is also unwilling to just give up and submit humankind as it is now to the final judgment; his hope is gone but his conscience compels him to keep trying, because he can’t bear to condemn the whole world to death.

hence the book. on its face ‘fairytales of remnant’ is a propagandistic hit piece on salem but read from cover to cover it’s also a desolate apology and plea for forgiveness: history is important and we must listen to each other, he writes in the forward. here is the story about (the witch) the warrior in the woods, who deserved more help than she was given. here is a story about a foolish man who sacrificed his wife and children to appease the cruel, fickle sun. here is the myth you quoted to me once: i didn’t understand you then, but i do now, and there is a deeper truth in this story than i knew. here is my favorite story; it’s about a huntsman who still grieves his wife and a family that finds each other again after parting ways in acrimony.

here is a story about a foolish king who destroys himself out of fear that he will make the wrong choice, and the love that saves him. here is the nightmare i have about you, told as a cautionary tale against projecting our own evil onto the face of others we fear. and here’s a story about we humans scapegoating those who were changed, hating and fearing our own loved ones because they do not look the same. here is a story about me, and my failures, and the girl whose trust i shattered, and i will leave it to you to decide if i am worthy of forgiveness. here’s the story that tore us apart; the only good ending i can imagine anymore is the one where humanity replaces the gods. and this story is about my grief, my despair, and why i keep trying.

and here is a story about you, and the hero i was before all of this; look far enough ahead, and the hero becomes a villain, but hopefully the reverse can be true, too. here is a story about humanity coming together to replace and perfect our god-given gifts; maybe we can’t be fixed, but we could start over. i keep telling these stories because i am afraid and uncertain and i want to believe that all of it really mattered.

like beacon tower, built in the image of her prison, the book is a cry for help hidden between the lines of a hollow condemnation. in the thousands of years between then and now, he’s corrupted "the gods will return to rule over us all" into "the gods will be remade in our image," because ozma doesn’t want to save the world unless she can still be in it.

and #2, ozma says the quiet part out loud.

"if you demand our blessings while still fighting among yourself," the god of light tells him, "mankind will be found irredeemable."

take these words at face value, and the divine mandate doesn’t actually sound unreasonable: mankind mustn’t approach the gods with a sense of entitlement, and they should try to cooperate with each other and work through conflict peacefully. that’s within the realm of difficult, but not impossible. but…

taken into context as the divine answer to salem’s defiance and the rebellion against the gods, his true meaning is that mankind must come together in obedient submission to their creators, repudiating salem and all she stands for. it is her "selfishness and arrogance" for which all of humanity stands condemned.

ozma grasps this. i’d wager he understood it the moment salem told him of the rebellion and why the gods ended their "experiment" the first time. and so his telling of the task he’s been given is more honest: humanity must "find a way to destroy the evil in the world and in themselves" to prove worthy.

in ‘the two brothers,’ the "evil in the world" is explicitly the grimm, whom the god light disdains as unliving creatures formed from malice and hate for no purpose but "destroying all that is good in the world." the god of darkness protests that the grimm are more than that, chiding his brother to remember that they are the same. and the brothers made humans by combining their natures into one being, just as dark made grimm and light made animals by "[giving] their essence to their creations."

what then does it mean for humans to "destroy the evil in the world and in themselves"? keep in mind that the humans in the myth do not do anything even notionally wrong: the brothers go to war with each other and "wreak havoc," and terrified humans "prayed to their gods and asked if they were being punished, […] asked for forgiveness, […] begged for mercy." this is mankind’s sole participation in the divine feud, crying out to the gods in anguish why are we being punished? (COUGHS IN JOB.)

in ozma’s account of this story, there is no wrongdoing, no sin to redeem—no justification for humanity to be condemned. instead, the brothers attempt to go their separate ways and find that they can’t, having given too much of themselves to their creations to leave the world, so darkness suggests that they take back their gifts, "reclaim our power and wipe this experiment from existence." no no, says light, we should give them a chance to prove worthy first.

so it is clear—there is no ambiguity about this at all, because there is no wrongdoing—that the "evil within themselves" that humanity must find a way to destroy is darkness itself; the "essence" darkness gave them, the gifts of knowledge and destruction he blessed them with. the evil in the world is the grimm, and the evil within is the part of human nature that came from darkness.

now. ‘the two brothers’ is of course factually inaccurate, and we know (from the answer to "what is ozpin hiding?") that the omission of the whole rebellion isn’t because ozma doesn’t know about it—he does. he knows. rather, the rebellion is something he actively chose to hide.

why?

the mythical narrative deliberately elides the divine justification for condemning mankind to death in favor of emphasizing the pettiness and indifference of the brothers toward their creations—they intend to destroy humans for no other reason than to regain their former power—and also making a direct equivalence between grimm (the evil in the world) and dark’s gifts to humanity (the evil within), both of which mankind must find a way to destroy in order to appease the god of light. the absurdity of this is underscored by darkness’ explicit admiration for human resilience and resourcefulness in the face of adversity; he’s fascinated by their use of his brother’s gifts, choice and creation.

this is, again, not secret. this is a book that ozpin published and made the cornerstone of the huntsmen academies’ curriculum; ‘the two brothers’ as recounted here is a mainstream, widely-known religious story. ozma is the one who established this religion in the first place, and he’s had thousands of years to nudge the doctrine in the direction he wants it to go.

which is I Stand With My Damned Wife. lol

ozma didn’t believe salem when she "blamed the end of the world" on the gods, but once she told him about her rebellion—as she must have, for him to know about it—he agreed with her that she had done no wrong. the story he has been telling about the brothers all this time is one that casts mankind as innocent victims crying out for mercy, for forgiveness, blaming themselves for the cruelty inflicted upon them by uncaring gods. "the desperate humans prayed to their gods and asked if they were being punished."

in his heart of hearts, this is what he believes. that salem is blameless. that she didn’t deserve this. that she’s right.

he could save the world by uniting the whole world against her and calling on the brothers to condemn her, but he can’t—not only because this world just isn’t as dear to him without her but also because to do so would be a grave injustice, and he knows it.

he doesn’t believe that the final judgment can be averted, and he believes a second rebellion is as doomed to failure as her first attempt. the only salvation for remnant lies in destroying salem—who is the evil in the world (grimm) and the evil within (defiance, easily swaying the hearts of men)—but, she cannot be destroyed.

which gives him time.

ozpin doesn’t have a plan for defeating salem. that’s not the same thing as having no plan at all, necessarily, and salem believes he does have a plan.

gestures at "we shall once again live among you and humanity will be made whole" transforming into "we will take their forms and live among them as equals." and the gift of the moon. and "if you look far enough ahead, even a story with a happy ending may reveal itself as a tragedy, and heroes may turn out to be villains… hopefully, the reverse is also true."

(ozma’s character in ‘the girl in the tower’ is called The Hero. ozpin isn’t referring to her, there, but to himself.)

he’s… trying is maybe too strong a word, but ozpin wants to achieve salem’s preferred outcome (humanity replaces the gods) without a rebellion; ‘the shallow sea’ contains deep truths, he writes, and in ‘the judgment of faunus’ he remarks that faunus depict the god of animals as a "wise and noble" figure while humans portray them as an untrustworthy trickster. in the context of the theological disagreement between salem and ozma, ‘the shallow sea’ becomes an allegory for her opinion of the brothers—she rhetorically positions the people of remnant as the faunus, herself as the god of animals, and the brothers as the envious, resentful humans who refused to leave the boat.

in ‘the judgment of faunus’ a god offers to adjudicate between a group of humans and animals who cannot resolve their feud. if they can’t live in peace, they warn both sides, they will "kill one another off, and perhaps destroy the world in the process." when they agree, the god combines them into one being—the faunus.

in ‘the two brothers,’ the gods of light and darkness are portrayed as two halves of a sundered being, the primordial dragon, who—like the humans and animals in ‘judgment’—are "more alike than [they] realize" but "have grown to see only the worst in each other." they create humanity in an effort to resolve their feud, combining their natures into one being, but this fails to stop the conflict between them. their battle "wreaked havoc" and threatened to "tear the world apart." in the end they agree that, should humanity prove worthy, they will shed their divinity and become mortal men; otherwise, they will "let them burn" and part ways from each other forever.

in… other words, in ozma’s myth, it falls to humanity to decide the brothers’ fates: will they be changed into something new and so find peace, or will they be driven apart forever, destroying themselves and their world?

gestures at ‘the judgment of faunus.’ a god happens upon the bloody battlefield and asks why are you fighting?

gestures at ‘the two brothers.’ desperate humans cry out to the gods why are you punishing us?

gestures at ‘the shallow sea,’ which salem used allegorically to equate the brothers to envious, resentful humans who rejected the chance they were given to change and heal, and so returned to their previous unfulfilling lives. with herself implicitly positioned as the god of animals. this one, ozpin suggests, contains deep truths that everyone should take the time to consider.

looks into the camera like i’m on the office.

he includes ‘the shallow sea’ to represent salem’s theological argument against the divine mandate and offers ‘the judgment of faunus’ as a counterpoint, following the pattern of her allegory: the animals and humans represent the gods of light and darkness, and the unnamed god represents humanity (or perhaps just ozma, mirroring salem’s self-identification with the god in ‘the shallow sea’). i can end your conflict if you agree to let me choose who is right, says the god. (and is that not the intent of the mandate, in the end? for humanity to side with the god of light against his brother, for whom salem is only a proxy? to choose which brother is right?) and then the god’s answer is "neither. both. you are the same."

the primordial dragon and the division of the two brothers is made up. it’s not true. but ozpin chose that version of the story and paired it with the ending where the brothers promise to make peace by becoming human, by combining their natures within themselves and thus restoring their true nature as One Whole, light-and-dark and dark-and-light.

which is ozma’s plan.

or at least, it’s what he thinks might be the answer, even if he isn’t quite sure how to make it happen.

the god in ‘judgment’ is either wise and noble or a duplicitous trickster, not to be trusted, depending who you ask, says ozpin. the only way to unite the world to the brothers’ satisfaction is by destroying salem—removing her from it completely. salem can’t be destroyed… but.

but.

the brothers are fallible. she had lied to them, turned them against each other…

they can be deceived. tricked.

ozma is so fucking good at lying. he drove her into exile, erased her from history. what few people there are who know about her are sworn to secrecy and dedicated to keeping her at bay. if the gods had returned one year before the story began, what would they see? an elaborate performance of unprecedented global peace ruled by a powerful, benevolent cult of the light dedicated solely to slaying grimm for the good of all, with salem barred from participation in civilization, completely ostracized and forgotten.

it doesn’t matter if it’s fake. it only needs to last long enough to fool the brothers while ozma convinces them that he can settle their feud once and for all, if only they grant him the power to make it so and promise to abide by his judgment.

if he can trick them into giving up their power and becoming mortal men, then Everything Will Be Okay. it squares the circle, fulfills his god-given task without sacrificing salem to appease them or sacrificing humanity in a futile act of defiance. but it will only work if the deception is absolutely perfect and that brings him right back to square one, he needs there to be no perceptible conflict in the world when the brothers return lest they rule against humanity and he needs salem to be truly gone—not the common enemy everyone in the world stands against, but gone, so thoroughly rejected and forgotten that she has no presence in the world at all.

aaand the only way to accomplish that is by legitimately fulfilling his task, at least superficially. world peace, no salem, the leading power in every kingdom is a virtuous institution inculcating light’s values in noble warriors who protect the peace. it can collapse like the house of cards it truly is as soon as the brothers have taken the bait and shed their divinity but until then, it has to be so real that even oz himself believes it.

#man knows the cake is poison #but believes it HAS to be eaten #so he’s trying to have his antidote and eat it too.#by doing what he does best (lie)#the infinite man sacrifices himself in the mistaken belief that his world will be spared…the girl is the only one who remembers the truth…#fairytales of remnant is funny. ozpin like surely salem will understand my intricate coded messages explaining my clever plan #(narrator voice) She Didn’t.

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moll1703 · 1 day

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I’m gonna call these posts:

“Huskerdust the Musical”

Where I explain how songs from musicals would work perfectly for Huskerdust and why. And if someone could write full fics about them or create animatics I would actually cry.

For this episode we’re gonna look at:

All I’ve Ever Known from Hadestown

This is a duet so both Angel and Husk will be singing— I would say together but some separated pining would be cute.

ANGEL:

I was alone so long

I didn't even know that I was lonely

Out in the cold so long

I didn’t even know that I was cold

Turned my collar to the wind

This is how it's always been

— Angel is torn up about his past on earth and in hell.

All I've ever known is how to hold my own

All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own

But now I wanna hold you, too

— Basically he’s tired of doing everything alone and finally decides that he wants Husk.

You take me in your arms and

Suddenly there's sunlight all around me

Everything bright and warm

And shining like it never did before

And for a moment I forget

Just how dark and cold it gets

— I’ve seen in a lot of fics how Angel and Husk are in this trope of “the world is less harsh when I am with you” and I think this just works really well with them.

All I've ever known is how to hold my own

But now I wanna hold you

Now I wanna hold you, hold you close

I don't wanna ever have to let you go

Now I wanna hold you, hold you tight

I don't wanna go back to the lonely life

HUSK:

I don't know how or why

Or who am I that I should get to hold you

But when I saw you all alone against the sky

It's like I’d known you all along

— I feel as if a majority of Huskerdust nation believes Husk is gonna pull a “I’m a bad person you deserve someone better” card (lol card) so this fits really well here especially if they sing apart from one another.

I knew you before we met

And I don’t even know you yet

All I know is you're someone I have always known

— To me, this hints to them possibly know ing each other on earth, but it could also be seen as Husk finally getting to know the real Angel.

HUSK & ANGEL:

All I know is you’re someone I have always known

And I don't even know you

— They simply bonded over taking care of one another whether after hard days. And they fell for one another, but they also know they have so much more to learn about one another.

Now I wanna hold you, hold you close

I don't wanna ever have to let you go

ANGEL:

Suddenly the sunlight, bright and warm

— Contrasting his previous statement about him being left in the cold.

HUSK:

Suddenly I’m holding the world in my arms

— I can totally see Husk just being love struck whenever he thinks about Angel

ANGEL:

Say that you’ll hold me forever

Say that the wind won't change on us

Say that we'll stay with each other

And it will always be like this

— Angel knows this promise can not be fulfilled cause they will never be able to be completely safe in their current situations.

HUSK:

I'm gonna hold you forever

The wind will never change on us

Long as we stay with each other

— Husk is definitely a pessimist so this line truly shows how he cares about Angel — to make this promise even if it just gives him false hope.

HUSK AND ANGEL:

Then it will always be like this

Love this musical highly recommend it. If you all have any other ideas on what songs would work well for them let me know!

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #huskerdust #your honor they are in love #hazbin angel dust #angel dust #musicals #hadestown #headcanon #music #hazbin husk #angel dust x husk #huskdust

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momentsbeforemass · 2 days

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Hardness of your heart

“Because of the hardness of your hearts.”

It’s an odd phrase. But it reveals a universal principle.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus uses it to explains the “why” behind a teaching.

“Because of the hardness of your hearts.”

If that’s the “why” behind something? Whatever you’re talking about may be okay, but it isn’t as good as it gets. Because there’s something that’s in the way.

That is, God has something better for you. But right now, you’re not open to it.

Because the hardness of your heart is getting in the way.

What does that even mean? How do our hearts harden?

Our hearts harden when we look backward.

When we get stuck looking at what went wrong – no matter whether it was our fault, someone else’s fault, or it just happened. When we get lost in assigning blame and asking why questions for which there are no answers.

For many of us (myself included), this is our default whenever something goes wrong. Even though we know that in the end it just gets us stuck in a place we would never intentionally go – if we gave it a moment’s thought.

And yet, whenever something goes wrong, that’s exactly what we do. Because of the hardness of our hearts.

So what do we do about it?

It can be hard to see it. Especially when we’re reacting to something going wrong. But you and I do have a choice.

Instead of looking backward, we can choose to look to God. We can pour our hearts out to God. And instead of getting stuck assigning blame and asking why, actually deal with what went wrong – with God.

It’s the only way to have a heart that’s able to receive everything that your loving Father is waiting to give you.

Today’s Readings

#Better #Stuck #Hardness of the heart #God's best #With God #God's Love #God #Jesus #Catholic #Christian #Church #Christianity #Catholicism #Moments Before Mass

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maximwtf · 9 hours

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“Taking a break, or two.”

Thoma x Reader

Words: 1970

Google Docs Pages: 3

Warnings: adhd having reader implied but not mentioned directly, emotional hurt/comfort, mostly platonic but if you squint it’s implied yall live together

Opening: You’re cleaning with Thoma, but your attention keeps jumping to anything else but the task at hand. After a few light hearted jokes, it really dawns on you how useless you must seem to him. But was that how he saw the situation though..?

AN// Gn reader! Hehe, sorry I disappeared for a while. Literally haven’t been doing anything for weeks, ultimate adhd coma. Maybe making this one self indulgent, but we’re not gonna tell anyone about that now are we :D. First time writing for him so still practising :) (Ironic that this took me ages to write because I can’t focus for the life of me xddd)

“Taking a break, or two.”

Thoma had invited you to come and clean around the Komore teahouse with him. Not that he desperately needed help, especially not you flailing around while he tried to get things done. But perhaps it was your company he needed more than the actual help. So you had agreed to tagging along.

The sound of Thoma placing something on the table in front of you brought you back from your thoughts. “Housekeeping is something I usually do alone, haha. But I’ll try my best to explain what to do.” He laughed lightly, yet voice still confident. He wasn’t doubting his skills in teaching you, if you happened to need help with anything. “But this should be a simple task either way. Just remember to use this product when cleaning the tabletop. It’s not so strong that it would ruin the shiny coating it has, unlike some other products. Hm, simple?” He smiled, eyes raising back to your form on the other side of the table. One product and one task, can’t be hard. “Yeah! You go and take care of the other tasks. Don’t you even worry about this.” You smiled at the end, repaying his former one. And with that, he was off to get some of the other tasks done.

You sprayed some of the product onto the table, folding the cloth that’d been next to the bottle neatly. Save the clean side of it for drying the surface at the end. But to your misfortune, after barely having started, a noise disturbs your work. A pair of close by neighbours had stopped by outside and started to chat. The noise from the conversation reached inside the teahouse, catching your full attention and pausing any attempt of cleaning the table. Even with the bits and pieces you were able to hear, you could catch up on them talking about the weather today. Which reminded you, you were all out of tea.

The men outside had mentioned something about rain, which you remember hearing about as well. It was supposed to start raining later tonight, lasting all the way to the early morning hours. This meant if you wanted tea tomorrow morning, you'd have to make it to the shops before dark. But since you were occupied now, that would take most of your time for this evening. Which then meant you had to think of the fastest route possible to the stalls if you didn’t want to be drenched by the time you got back home. Well, of all the options, Thoma would be the one likely least happy with that outcome.

But after some time, you were successful in charting the best possible route which shouldn’t take too long. But this thinking session had completely paralysed you, and only the comment from Thoma brought you back to the present. “Excuse me, you over there. Focus please!” A soft chuckle escaped him right after, before he went back to what he’d been doing previously. You shook your head slightly, taking a more firm hold of the cloth in your hand. “Ah, sorry!” And with that you got back to cleaning the table, a crumb of guilt weighing in on your chest after. But doing your best to avoid it and to shine the tabletop.

After cleaning the table Thoma had asked you to bring a cleaned tea set to the cupboard while he went outside to water a few plants and flowers. An easy task, again. And something that shouldn’t take you ages to do either. Your eyes followed Thoma keenly before he disappeared out the door. You wanted to get up and take the tea set away, but it was as if your seat was pulling you back. But what harm could a small break do? Thoma wouldn’t even make it back before you were done, so you had plenty of time to sit for a moment. Your eyes landed on the pristine tea set, a very fancy one at that. It reminded you of a client who’d passed by earlier and told you about a cup they’d broken by accident. You’d thought of telling Thoma about it earlier but had forgotten because of the list of other things you had undone. A sigh escaped your lips. The next time you saw him, you’d make sure to quickly point it out, if he didn’t already know.

Your train of thought was interrupted by Thoma walking back in. The tea set sat gracefully on the side of the table, not having moved an inch. You took a quick breath, eyes moving up to Thoma before swiftly standing up. You were about to apologise again but he was able to interrupt you with a light hum mixed with a chuckle. He didn’t seem angry with you, but that didn’t make you feel any better. Not after you watched him take the tea set and bring it to the cupboard himself. If you hadn’t felt useless before, you did now. But maybe if you tried a little harder with the next task, to get at the very least something done instead of having Thoma help you with it.

You helped him with some minor tasks to get something done, handing him items when he needed them. Nothing he couldn’t have done himself, but it made you feel somewhat useful.

“Hey, we still have these sets to organise and shelf. Then we’re all done!” Thoma said, catching your attention swiftly in the otherwise rather silent space. You give him a nod and forced a smile to flash at him. “We got it!” You chime before he gave you a cheerful nod and disappeared behind the front desk for a moment. A doubtful sigh escaped your lips before feeling the need to escape for a moment. The feeling of guilt from earlier hadn’t gone anywhere and after following Thoma around like a clueless puppy for the rest of the evening, you didn’t really feel up for much.

The pressure of knowing he’d return soon from around the corner finally made you crack just enough to slip outside. You walked slowly to the seats outside, sitting down against the wall of the house. Rays of the setting sun hit the very edges of the terrace still, but they didn’t provide any warmth for you. The seat you’d chosen happened to be in the shade, it felt the most peaceful. As if it was the most out of sight spot you could have found to sit with your feelings.

You leaned your head back, eyes closed to enjoy the fresh air. It felt awful to know Thoma could see how useless you could get, and also know that he wouldn’t have the heart to actually tell you if it bothered him. And it wasn’t like you behaved like that on purpose either, you did honestly try to complete the tasks you said you would. But some days just happened to be like this. At times you feared he’d stop asking you to come along to do things or stop asking for help if you kept disappointing him. Or at least what felt like disappointing him. Especially when this always happened when you were asked to do something, no matter how nicely he asked.

Some time passed and with it the sun kept slowly setting, last bits of golden light hitting the leaves of nearby trees. It didn’t take long for a certain someone to find you. The sound of his shoes hitting the wooden deck of the terrace echoed lightly, his steps slowing down as he came closer. “Now where did you disappear off to?” He asked before taking a step closer, squatting to your level. “And how come you’re sitting here all alone?” More questions thrown at you, the latter more of an indirect request to join you. “Just taking a break”, you replied with a slight cringe at the end. Who were you to take a break after not doing anything? “Haha, well I wouldn’t have minded joining. May I?” He finally asks, to which you reply with a nod. “Ah, I wasn’t planning on staying for long.” As if you felt like you had any control over the lengths of your breaks when the overwhelming feeling of guilt weighed you down like a boulder.

A subtle silence fell over the two of you after Thoma settled down next to you. There was a light breeze in the air but it wasn’t cold enough to chase either of you back into the house. Thoma took a breath, though it took him a moment to actually say anything. “Is…everything okay?” He asked, eyes keenly looking at you but not demanding any sort of eye contact. You looked at his lap, not finding the courage to answer his question truthfully while looking at him. “Do you ever think I’m…useless? Or lazy?” You ended up asking instead of answering his initial question. You had just enough time to cast him a look to see the lost expression on his face, eyes a little widened. “No, of course not. Do I have a reason to?” He asks, now more keenly looking at you. Like he felt the need to thoroughly figure this out. “What is this about?” Thoma asked, his brows ever so slightly furrowed in worry. “Well…” You started but had to stop and sigh before rewording your thoughts. “Were you displeased with me today? At any point, did you feel I was just..useless?” And maybe that was just the same question as before, just reworded. But he didn’t fall for this one either, maybe he was being honest…”No, no? I asked you to join me today, I’d never demand anything of you.” He said, the muscles on his shoulders easing out a little as he began to put the pieces together in his mind. “But you said- To pay attention-” You tried to start again but this time he interrupted you. “No, no! I meant nothing with it, honest.” The poor man looked almost frightened at the fact that you even dared to think that way. “Listen, you were a lot of help today. The amount of work you did or didn’t do did not take away from the company you provided. I know how you handle tasks.” He smiled, calming himself at the same time.

You stared at him blankly for a moment before pouting. “I’m sorry I assumed you- would have thought that way.” You were able to mumble before being brought into a hug. He chuckled lightly, ruffling the back of your head slightly. “Haha, that’s enough. There was no harm done.” He said, pulling back a little. You stared at him for a moment before he asked if you were going to be okay. You both knew the answer was yes but a simple nod never hurt anyone.

“Maybe we should end the chores for today, hm?” Thoma offered and you took up on it almost immediately. The release from the last tasks eased something in you, allowing you to pay attention to the weather. It was rather late in the evening, but the rain hadn’t seemed to arrive yet. A few dark clouds in the distance, but it would be a while before they’d reach the teahouse. You’d still have time to get the tea if you left now.

Turning to Thoma you asked if he’d be willing to tag along, if he wanted to. Mostly because you still felt like you had ruined a part of today’s hangout by being so absent, even if he’d deny that. “Of course, come on. I can brew us some when we get home.” Thoma flashed you a gentle smile before standing up and offering you a hand, which you took. And held for most of the walk to the stalls.

#thoma #thoma x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #x reader #thoma genshin impact #thoma genshin

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