#again apologies if this doesn't make sense

[satorusugurugurl]

My Wedding Date is an Escort!

Summary: When invited to your best friend's wedding, you panic. One of the groomsmen, Toji Fushiguro, is your ex-fiancè. Not wanting to deal with probing questions and the embarrassment of being single, your friend Haibara recommends using an Escort! Taking a leap of faith, you book one my, the hottest one. Gojo Satoru is hot, sweet, and funny! The package deal! Men and Women pay thousands to go on a date with him (even more, which he doesn't do often). So when your request comes in, the desperation and pleading tone of your voice. Gojo’s heartthrobs, even more so when you tell him you don't want to have sex.

Pairing: Escort!Gojo x FAB Reader

Word Count: 5,115

Warning: cursing, apologies, fingering, handjobs, smut 🥹, fluff

A/N: Well everyone, we have one more part of this series. 🥲 But I plan on taking requests for our sweet, complicated couple! !! If you want to be included in the tag list, YOU MUST HAVE AGE LISTED! Thank you!!

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five

“You want what?” Satoru stared blankly at you, blinking ever so slowly like a cat. Your words seemed to have short-circuited his brain.

“I said I want a refund.” your tone is stoic, “I am not happy with the services I was provided.” Satoru’s shocked expression twists into a wide grin as you stick your bottom lip out in a pout. “High-end escort, my ass.”

Satoru laughs, throwing his head back as a faint flush grazes over his cheeks. “Yeah? Not happy at all, huh?” His eyes dance over your features.

“Nope! This jerk got up and left me after I paid him.” You shrug your shoulders dramatically. “Not only am I out an ungodly amount of money, but I’m also dateless for this wedding.”

“He sounds like a class-A-asshole.” Satoru’s hand gently reaches out, cupping your cheek.

“Yeah, he was.” His heart flutters at ‘was’ instead of ‘is,’ an ember of hope flickers to life in his chest. “Then again, he said sorry, and punched the hell out of my asshole ex, so I guess he isn’t that bad.”

Satoru’s fingers are so warm and gentle against your face. His thumb brushed over tear-stained cheeks as he pulled you in, closing the distance between you. His forehead presses gently against your own as he shuts his eyes.

“I’ll make sure you get every last cent back.” White lashes life, pools of breathtaking blue peek through them, meeting you. “It’s the least I could do.”

“Cool,” you sighed, leaning into his touch, “I would like to use that money to take a few pastry classes.”

God, hearing you say that makes Satoru’s heart leap with joy. “Money well spent, not that you need it. Your pastries are the absolute best.” your hand reaches up, gently holding Gojo’s firmly against your cheek, not allowing him to move. He swallows thickly at the regret forming in his throat. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”

“How long did it take you to figure out it wasn't me after you left?”

“Maybe an hour,” he scoffed, his breath hot against your lips, “I honestly have to give Suguru the credit. He knocked the sense into my head.”

“Thank God for Suguru.”

“Yeah, he called me a fucking idiot.”

“Well—.”

“I know, I was the biggest fuckin’ idiot.”

Silence washed through the room. It wasn't uncomfortable in the silence, reminding you of the first night you two spent together. Things had been so smooth and natural with him, and they still were. Satoru hadn't believed you at first. He said some fucked up shit, but he had apologized for them. He had told you himself that he wanted to make your relationship work.

Staying angry and pushing him away would be too easy. You could quickly write this off as another failed relationship. Or you could do one of the hardest things a person could do.

You could fight.

Fight for what could be a relationship that only comes once in a lifetime. Fight for a future. You could fight to see this through, to see where it took you both.

You sat back, sighing dramatically. “I guess I owe Suguru a drink when you introduce us.” Cerulean eyes were the size of peas as your words washed over Satoru.

“What?”

“Or maybe I’ll take him to lunch for his help.” Heart thundering, you did your best to keep cool, examining your nails boredly. “Or better yet, I could make us three dinner. I may be a professional baker who works with confectioners sugar, but my curry is to die for.”

“S-Sweetheart—”

You grabbed Satoru’s face, pulling him as close to you as possible. “Toru,” The man stiffened at the use of his nickname, “you said what we have is worth fighting for. That you want to be with me.” You inched closer to his face, your fingers brushing over his cheekbones.

“I did say that, and I meant every word.” He leaned into your touch, his hands caressing your bruising knuckles.

“Are you positive?”

“I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't.”

“How can you be so sure? How will we make this work when you're an escort?” Dread worked its way through your stomach, settling over your chest. “I—I don't think I could just wait at home for you to come back from work. But I also don't want to keep you from doing something you love. You do it to help people; it makes you happy. I don't want to take that away from you.”

From the mere silence, you weren't sure what was going through Satoru’s mind. He just stayed stoic, glancing over you with an unreadable expression. God, maybe this was something he didn't want to give up.

What felt like an eternity of silence ended as Satoru moved. Your hands fell onto your lap as he ran his hands over your upper arms in smooth, gentle strokes. You had been so uncertain of what he would say or do, how he would react to your hesitancy. The way his crystalline blue eyes burned with a fiery passion told you everything you needed to know without the use of words.

“Sweetheart, I would rather fight with you than take on another client.”

His words felt like they’d stolen your soul. Your bottom lip quivered just as a trembling sob had your body shaking. Satoru pulled you into his lap, toned arms wrapping around you as you straddled him. His large palm stroked the back of your head as your chest pressed firmly against his.

You tried not to cry, but the relief was too much. Soft sobs vibrated in your chest as your head buried itself deep into the crook of Satoru’s neck, your hot, joyful tears staining his shirt. Not once did Satoru attempt to move you. He did the opposite, pulling you tighter against him, his fingers curled into your hair, stroking your scalp as you sobbed.

Those few words meant the entire world to you. The doubts and fears eating away at you like moths on cloth ceased to exist. They were replaced with a swarm of multi-colored butterflies that flutter in your stomach and heart.

You could make this work.

Pulling away from Satoru’s neck, you reached up to wipe at your eyes, but Satoru gently batted your hands away. His thumbs brushed against your flushed skin, wiping away the tears of joy. His touch, much like his words, embodied his affection for you. That sweet gesture made you want to cry more, but you were confident that all the crying you'd done in the last eighteen hours had dried up your tear ducts.

“I want to make this work with you.” Satoru gently cupped the back of your head. “Thank you for giving me another chance.”

”Thank you for apologizing.” You gently ran your fingers over the fabric of his shirt. “And for punching Toji, it was so hot seeing you get all mad.”

Satoru held you tight, flopping down onto the futon with a chuckle. “You thought I was hot? Imagine me coming back to get my sunglasses with my tail between my legs to see kitchen utensils being flung through the kitchen.” He took his bottom lip between his teeth. “Seeing you going feral, slapping and kicking at a man twice your size, got me all hot and bothered.” He nuzzled your neck with a very phony bad prono moan. “I’d let you hit me all you want; just tell me I’m a good boy when you do.” His lips peppered kisses up your neck before pressing against the corner of your mouth, winning a series of giggles from you.

“Toru, you’re crazy.” Your words held no heat as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Mhmm, I’m crazy about you.”

You ran your fingers through his hair before you pulled him in, kissing him softly. The tension in his muscles relaxed as he kissed back. His smooth lips gently moved against yours. Maybe your lips tingle because of the taste of his mint toothpaste, or it could be the spark between you. Little fireworks exploded over your lips, deep in your chest, and even further between your legs.

The same embers that had burned hot and bright inside of you last night began to glow red hot with need. Your hands roamed down from his hair to grip his shirt, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss as you turned your head. Satoru’s eyes opened, focusing on your face. The way your eyebrows knitted together, how flushed your face and chest were, and the subtle way you rocked your hips up against him.

He pulled back, panting heavily against your slightly ajared mouth. “Sweetie.” He breathed out.

“Sorry,” you released him, “sorry.” Now might not be the right time to lose yourself into passion. But before you could spiral into your thoughts, Satoru followed your retreating hands, gently holding them.

”I don’t want you to stop.” He placed one of your hands back on his shirt, and you instantly grabbed a hold of the fabric. “Just be aware of the effect that you have on me.” He took your free hand, pressing it against his semi-hard cock that was twitching to life in his pants.

A sudden burst of confidence took over you. Licking your lips, you gently began stroking him while you gripped his shirt as tight as you could. Satoru shuddered, pressing both his hands on either side of your head caging you underneath him. A string of soft, murmured cries of your name slipped through his lips as he bucked into your hand.

”You’re twitching so hard.”

”Can’t help it, a beautiful woman is rubbing my cock.”

Releasing his shirt, you ran your hand over his arm, gently grabbing his wrist. He perked up, putting all his weight on his left hand as you gently led his other past your breasts, down your stomach, before you pressed him firmly over your clothed pussy. “I'm twitching, too.” Satoru’s cock throbbed hard underneath your palm. “You okay?” an aching growl rose in his throat as his fingers rubbed circles around your clit.

“Y-Yeah, I think I just almost came in my pants.”

“Over touching my pussy?”

“No, it's because of you.” Your hips jerked as he increased the pressure of his fingers. “You're so goddamn irresistible. I want to please you.” fingers rubbed faster, his lips trailing down your neck in open-mouthed kisses.”I want you to call out my name, to make you cum so hard you think you're about to ascend.”

“Oooh, oooh fuck.” Satoru sucked in a breath as you slid your hand into his boxers. “Toru~ Feels good.”

“Yeah, it d-does.” He choked out, sliding his hand under your panties. “Fuuck, you weren't kidding.” Thick long fingers ran over your clit, spreading your slick arousal over the tiny bundle of nerves. “You’re so wet.”

You shifted, facing him, “I wanna try something.” Satoru nodded, kissing you deeply as you both tugged your pants and underwear off, followed by shirts. Once you were bare, you slotted your hips over his legs, resting your legs on either side of him. “This way, I can kiss and touch you.” Your words cut off as Satoru slammed his lips against yours in a starved, searing kiss.

You kiss his back, moaning and gasping against his lips. He used the opportunity of you gasping to shove his tongue into your mouth. His tongue searched for yours, wrapping and massaging it with his own as his fingers groped your breasts. He still tasted like mint, and the smell of musk overwhelmed you as his fingers gently kneaded you. His hands are so warm and gentle against the softness of your breasts; it's a bold contrast to the way his mouth roughly moves against yours.

He’s devouring you, making you melt against his body. You wanted to make him feel the same way you did, warm and fuzzy. You desired for Satoru to be desperate, like a thirsty man dehydrated in the desert, and you were his oasis. Reaching between your bodies, you rubbed your fingers up and down your pussy, collecting your slick over them. Hering the pitch change in your voice, Satoru followed your hand. The instant he saw your pretty fingers rubbing yourself, he growled into your mouth before breaking the kiss.

”A-Are you that desperate for relief?” Satoru sighed heavily against your lips, tongue flicking out, licking at the drool dripping from the corner of your mouth. “All you have to do is ask, and I’ll rub that perfect pussy~”

“I-I—oooh god,” you rubbed your clit in a short circle before dipping your hand back down, collecting more of your slick. “n-not doing it for my sake.”

”No?” Satoru nipped gently at your bottom lip, his hands massaging the fat of your ass, pulling you tighter against him. “Then please tell me whose sake you’re doing it for.”

”Yours.”

Before Satoru could ask what you meant, he jumped as you wrapped your slick fingers around his thick throbbing cock. His head falls back as you begin rubbing your hand up and down his shaft, jerking him off, using your slick as lube. Feeling the heat from your juices and hand had Satoru losing himself, just like you wanted. He melted, his hands shakily grabbed you in order to ground himself as you jerked your wrist up and down faster.

”Feels good,” He groaned out, his hand dipping between your legs, fingers finding your clit. “but it’s not fair if I’m the only one feeling good now.” The tiniest moan passes through your pursed lips; your eyes meet him as you try to focus on keeping your hand moving up and down over his cock. But damn, his hands were too talented, it was hard to keep up with him. “God, you’re so wet just for me. If it feels this amazing on my fingers,” His hand dips further, two of his fingers pressing their way past your tight entrance and into your dripping cunt. “I can’t imagine how good it feels to be buried inside you.”

His fingers curl, rubbing your spongy sweet spot. They massage it, not stopping as you cry out softly against his mouth, your eyes narrowing as you stare into his eyes. They were usually full of light, but with his fingers buried inside of you and your hand wrapped around his cock, they were full of dark, desperate desire. If you were to move a certain way or make a single sound, he would be inside of you in the blink of an eye.

Which wasn’t a bad thing.

His lips were on yours, his moans flooding inside your mouth as you teased the tip of his dick with your thumb. Rubbing the pre-cum beading at the slit around the red swollen tip. Satoru’s eyebrows furrowed at the intense pleasure, his thumb mimicking the same pattern and strokes of your hand against your twitching clit. It didn’t take long for you to start rocking your hips against his hand, chasing your orgasm. Noticing the way you greedily fucked yourself on his fingers, Satoru pulled back, watching your hips rolling against him, desperately chasing the high you felt coming.

”What a good girl you are, taking what you want, what you need. I fucking love that.” A deep sigh escaped him, his breath fanning against your lips. “I love it, watching you lose all fucking control, it gets me off.” His cock twitched in your hand, emphasizing his point. “If you make yourself cum hard, I promise you I’ll make you cum ten times harder on my dick.” Satoru feels your walls flutter around his fingers. “You like the idea of that? Your pretty cunt seems to, she’s squeezing around me.”

”Y-Yeah, I want you, Satoru, want to feel you inside of me so back.”

”Cum for me first, then I’ll be sure to give you everything you want.”

You press your lips messily over his. “You promise? Promise you’ll give me everything I want?” His forehead presses against yours, his bangs sticking against your sweet sheen skin. “Promise?” You whine out desperately.

”Sweetheart, I promise I’ll give you everything you want and then some.”

Those positive affirmations were all you needed to have you gushing over his fingers. You silently scream against his lips, eyes clenched tight as you rocked and roll your hips against him. Satoru takes note of how your lips quiver and the way your back arches, pressing your breasts against his bare chest. Noting the way you sounded, how pretty you looked when you shattered and trembled in his lap as your hand squeezed his dick almost too hard as you let the waves of your orgasm hit you one after another.

Watching you cum in his lap would be a memory he’d look back on on lonely nights. God, he wanted to cum with you, to paint your tummy white with his hot seed. But the urge to pin you underneath him, you fuck you slowly, was stronger. Satoru wanted to have you cum that hard around his cock. To watch as you lose yourself in pure bliss because you deserve to. God, you deserved more than that, but this would be a good start.

He fully intended to make you feel this good as long as you would allow him.

When you found the strength to open your eyes slowly, you caught a glimpse of blue. Satoru had you pushed back on the futon, his fingers sliding out of you. His lips gently roamed over your breasts, kissing the mounds before his hands forced your legs apart. “Please tell me you still have that party favor bag.” He breathed out over your skin.

”You seriously think I would throw my terrible cheap penis candy away?” Satoru chuckled, lifting his head to watch you snatch a pink bag lying off to the side of you. “You'd be right; I fully intend on throwing it away once we use the condoms.”

“I have to admit, knowing you won’t be eating penis candy makes me feel pretty good.” He opened the bag, pulling out the six condoms shoved inside of it.

“I’m not opposed to eating penis candy if it tastes good.” A white brow arches at you. “I mean, I sucked yours last night, didn’t I?” You smirk as he fumbles, nearly dropping the foil packages in his hand. “I clearly remember just how sweet you tasted. Although I may need a reminder soon to confirm.”

”Babe, please, you’re going to make me blow my load before I even get inside of you.”

You watch as he tosses the other condoms to the side before ripping open the gold foil of a magnum condom with his teeth. ”Oooh, right, yeah.” Swallowing hard, you gape when Satoru rolls the condom over his cock with ease.

He slowly pushed his hips against yours, grinding his cock over your entrance to your clit. “Do you remember what I said to you our first night here at the inn?” Your soft moans are music to his ears as he grinds against you faster. “After you told me why you didn’t need to have sex?” Right now wasn't the time you wanted to be quizzed over things he said four days ago.

“Haah, fuck—uhm, you said you hoped that I would be able to recover soon?” His cock head pressed firmly against your entrance. “Nggh, I—I can’t remember. It’s hard to think when you’re teasing me like this.”

” No, you’re right. I did say I hoped you would recover.” His tip pressed harder against you, making your legs shake. “But I also said I wanted you to be able to have the most mind-blowing sex of your life.” The world seemed to slow as the gentleness of his words had you blinking. “I never thought I would be the one you’d be with.”

Something about the softness of his voice and the way he lovingly brushed his thumb over your bottom lip had your heart racing. This moment felt surreal as you replayed that first night again in your head. How you had cried in front of the escort you had hired to be your wedding date. He could have easily pushed you away, cringed over your complicated past, or not given a shit.

Instead, he hugged you and stroked your hair as you cried. He listened to you and allowed you to vent. This man went as far as defending you, siding with you. Satoru had held you close, bringing a certain comfort to your life you'd never felt before. It was a perfect full circle.

“I wouldn't want to be with anyone but you, Toru.” Gently cupping his face in your hands, you pulled him down, kissing him as passionately as you could. The warmth of your touch and the brush of your lips against his own made Satoru swell with excitement before shifting into a calmness that worked through him. “I need you.” You gasped out against his swollen lips.

“Then you’ll have me.”

Not wanting to waste another moment, Satoru gently pushed the head of his cock past the tight ring of muscles of your entrance. You gasped against his lips, eyes wide as he stretched you. His ab’s clenched as he held himself back, giving you a moment to adjust to his size, as his lips gently moved over your cheeks. Only when he felt your walls unclench and your legs wrap around did he begin pushing back inside of you.

Satoru couldn't get over how tight you felt wrapped around him, how warm you were. He'd slept with his fair share of people, but this, the feeling of slowly slipping inside of you for the first time, was a moment he'd never forget. From the way you smelt and how your hot breath tickled his ear. The sensation of your finger scratching gently over his undercut would forever linger because he didn't want this to be the first or last time he buried himself inside of you.

No, he wanted you to be the only person he was this intimate with again. He could easily see himself feeling this profound, this drunk off of joy and excitement each time you slept together. Satoru wanted to only hear his name on your tongue from now on.

While you couldn't read his mind or feel the emotions that course through every being of his soul, you felt the same way. Being with Satoru like this just felt right. No doubt, no uncertainty sat at the pit of your stomach. Just excitement and joy. Like you were walking a tightrope without the fear of falling.

This was perfection.

“Y-You're so tight.” Satoru choked out with a laugh as he pushed further inside of you with a whine. “Oooh, so fucking tight, baby.”

“Y-Yeah~ you're so big, really big.” Your breath chokes out as he slides deeper inside. “Haaa-haaah.” You dig your heels into his ass, pushing him further inside of your tight heat.

“N-Nnngh fuck, someone's getting impatient.”

“I can't help it, I-I want it, I want you so fucking bad.”

Satoru grunts softly, his tongue flicking over your bottom lip before hems slowly pulling out of you. “I want it too, baby.” He slowly slides back in, angling his hips to rub perfectly over that sweet spot inside of you. “And I’m going to give you exactly what you want.” His tongue gently slid past your slightly parted lips as he set a smooth and gentle pace.

You kiss back softly, flicking your tongue over his as his cock fucks you gently into the bedding. Your mind is reeling, taking over every one of your five senses, from his taste and smell. How his groans and grunts sound in your ears. You could feel his muscles twitching as his cock slowly bullied its way over your g-spot before pressing gently over your cervix. But it was the way he looked at you that genuinely had your heart stammering. Satoru was looking at you with a certain softness as his face contorted with pleasure.

You whimpered as he smiled, planting kisses down your neck, gently suckling at it. Satoru put all the emotions in his chest into those gentle, tender kisses. Savoring the way you jerked and squirmed as he gently fucked into your cunt. He suffocates on the delectable addictive air that was you. You take his breath away with every tear-filled glance into his eyes; every gasp and cry is music to his ears. So, of course, he’s lost his grip of control. Grabbing both your hands, he pinned them on either side of your head, his fingers interlacing with them as he moved at a faster pace.

“Ah—hah Toru,” you squeeze his hands, “Satorru~!” Crying out against Satoru’s mouth, you squeeze your thighs around him. Seeing you this fucked out of your mind as he fucked his thick cock deeper inside of you, only had Satoru moving faster.

“Ooh baby~ fuck~ fuuuuck~ you're getting close. I can feel it.” He grunts through gritted teeth. “You’re squeezing my cock just like you were squeezing my fingers.”

“Mmm yeah, M’ close Toru~!” You almost lose it as he grinds into you, his hips rubbing over your sensitive clit as his cock massages your sweet spots deep inside of you.

His grip on your hand tightens as he hisses, cock throbbing. “Oooh fuck, yeah baby, make a mess, make a fucking mess all over me.” One messy kiss followed by another. “Fuck~! Fuuuuck, I'm close too, gonna cum inside your tight hole~!” Nails dig into the back of his hands as your pussy clenched and twitches around him. “Yeah~ your pussy is so good~ telling me she likes what I’m saying. You want me to cum, yeah~?” Throw your head back, and you cry softly at the coil forming in your stomach.

“Y-Yeah wanna, wanna cum together~! Wanna—-ooooh god fuck me!” Satoru watched your eyes shut, tight eyebrows knitting together. He grinds his hips harder against your clit, buffs of deep growls leaving his mouth as his balls clench.

“Cum on my cock sweetheart~ yeah~ oooh fuck me yes!”

“Cu—” A scream of unfiltered ecstasy cuts off your words. Satoru watches you as you squirt over his crotch and the sheets beneath you both. “Ah!! Haaah!!”

Your trashing and shaking drives Satoru up the fucking wall. He frees your hands, gripping your hips, lifting them slightly so he can continuously fuck into your g-spot. Your legs shake aggressively as you fist the sheets. Your body was vibrating, eyes watering as you cum for a third time, watching as clear liquid soaks Satoru’s hips before you see white.

“Haa, fuck~ fuck~ fuck—” his head tips forward, watching his cock disappear inside of your convulsing pussy. “Cu-Cummin!” He bit out. “Cumming! Cumming!!” He doesn't scream like you, but he roars like a fucking beast. “Graahk! Fuuuck! Fuck!! Take it! Take all of my cum!”

You’re so sensitive it almost hurts to have Satoru thrusting himself inside you. He doesn't stop until his hips stop moving on their own, and the condom between you is filled to the brim. Only at that point does he gently pull out of you, grimacing as you wince in pained pleasure.

“Are you okay?” he gently asks as he takes the condom off, tying it to throw it in the trash can near the bed.

“I-I’m so good.” You drunkenly slur, but you haven't had a sip of alcohol. “Oh my god, I don't think I've ever cum that hard in my entire life.”

You could see Satoru swell with pride as he headed to the bathroom. “I guess my wish for you did come true.” You can hear the water running before he comes back. “How was the mind-blowing sex?”

“Confident in yourself?”

“I don't mean to come off as an arrogant ass.” He shrugs a shoulder as he drops to his knees gently, wiping your thighs and pussy clean with the warm rag in his hand. “But I'm ninety-five percent sure I saw your soul leave your body.”

“Okay! Okay!” You sputtered out a laugh as he wiped himself clean before lying beside you, pulling you into his side with a satisfied hum. “Okay, the mind-blowing sex was—” your eyes trailed up to his face, “well mind-blowing!”

“Ah~” he blows against his trimmed nails, “way to go, Satoru~” and rubs nails over his pectoral muscle.

“You dork!” you playfully smack his arm, “that was so uncool. Like the uncoolest thing to do.”

Satoru was beaming with joy as he cupped your cheek, pulling you in for a deep kiss. You sighed, missing him back roughly before pulling away with a happy hum. “Still uncool?”

“Super uncool.”

“Worth a shot.”

You lay there, tracing shapes over Satoru’s chest. “Hey, Toru?” you asked, turning your head to study his perfect face. You were surprised to see him watching you, his blue eyes tracing over the curves of your body, to the way your finger drew invisible hearts over him.

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“What are you doing this Saturday?” You swore the man underneath you twisted faster than the speed of light. There was a certain glimmer of excitement in his eyes that had your heart fluttering like the butterflies in your stomach.

“Well, I did have this client, but I was dumb enough to cancel on them, so my Saturday is free!”

“Good,” you kissed the tip of his nose, “would you like to be my wedding date?”

“I would love to be your wedding date.”

Tag List (AGE MUST BE IN BIO)

@arminloverlol l @jamzywiththejam28 @gojoful @maskedpacific @ahseyy @kash77 @sadmonke @ari-maccha @sugurubabe e @hyori2 @bluechocolatemint @itsinherited @dellappatca @therealestpussyeater @dead-at-tokyo @nvrgojover @drakenswifeyy @nealeart t @yunho-leeknow @fire-child-kira @faeryminnyx @tqd4455 5 @harmonyflora @volkins181-blog @noukstmblr @lovley212 @stinkinstuffie @desihopelessromantic @witchbybirth @sonicsolos @lilbiguy @supsiii @rentheannihilator r @bloopsstuff @pepepepepopopopo @pandoness @sw33cadav3r @rixo-19 @meguvmii @sxnkuna @mmeerraa @lemonintrovert01 @bunny-lily @kibananya @kamastar39 @rjreins @lzaj19 @tiredflame132 @manyno @oliiper @rengokushair @simp-plague @matchalatte06 @haesify @majanggeum @solarrexplosion N@tbzzluvr @username23345 @demonboyssss @sakui1

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[stressfulsloth]

Thinking about Harry and all the animal parallels that follow him through the narrative. It's true that these animal parallels reflect the way that the brutality of individualist moralism strips him of humanity as someone who has fallen through the safety nets, and his agonised shout of 'I don't want to be this kind of animal anymore' can be interpreted as a direct admission of the RCM's dehumanisation of him as a disabled addict who is no longer as 'useful' as he once was. Gottlieb even directly tells him '[he] lost [his] human visage a while back.' Jean calls him 'the most dangerous animal of them all'. The rabid dog that needs to be put down, the black dog (also a common metaphor for chronic mental illness!) that Mollins shoots as it licks its wounds; the scared, hurt, frightened animal lashing out, chewing off it's own leg to escape the trap that it's caught in. The wild dog is all they can see.

But then there is a flipside to these parallels too; a kindness, a gentleness, almost a freedom in Harry’s animal parallels. He's strong like a 'goddamn ox,' like a bear ('I had to kill the bear to become the bear'). He's a harrier hawk, a name given to ensure his safety, raised up to the level of the aerostatics looking down over Revachol, 'soar[ing] on the wings of [his] spirit hawk.' He's a leopard ('its impossible to know where you end and the leopard begins'), discovering or rediscovering a love of softness and sensuality that he'd not known before via the leopard print leotard that 'speaks to the animal inside [him]' and touches on his relationship with his gender ('Yes, this is the type of animal I want to be.').

He's a 'seagull', a bird that will do 'whatever it takes to survive,' a 'bird of paradise' that tells a story of 'endurance- and adaptation' ('You! You and the seagull are just alike!'). He survives, despite everything, despite the grimness of the world around him. He endures. Even the sea monster comparison is oddly kind ('You've become a sea monster -- giant, hidden and... strangely tender at heart'). Even as a monster, he's still gentle; he still has so much love for this world that has wrung every last bit out of him. As if his tenderness is such an inherent part of him that no matter what monstrous face he wears, no matter what creature is there in his shadow, he cannot help but have some trace of it at his core. His tender soul 'quivering like jello.' The pain he feels is raw and animal but so is the love he feels. So is the hope and the fear and the wonder.

#every time i read the leopard scene i go feral over it i love him #guhhhh words are difficult and this is a mush but i hope you understand what I'm trying to say #disco elysium #harry du bois #long post #again apologies if this doesn't make sense #also the sea monster line is from him trying on the blue lens glasses lmao it sounds much deeper than that but i still love it so much #tender as in his still-aching heart and the raw wound of his memory loss but also tender in his love for the world #calling himself a monster but even still he can't erase the tender parts of himself #DE rambling

[hopefulcanary]

scrubbing in, with chapel and bones

idgaf if they canonically don't do this for whatever reason, we're all here for the #aesthetic

who are they about to tend to? eh, probably jim.

#leonard mccoy #christine chapel #star trek #star trek aos #sticking with the red scrubs bc it's also aesthetic #even if it doesn't make sense #my art #with apologies to fireinmywoods again #scrubs are hot #my trek art

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.

#asks #twdg louis #twdg minerva #twdg clementine #twdg violet #twdg marlon #twdg tenn #honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??' #then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha #also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore #like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it #not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed #for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there #it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like... #that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly #also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but #I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did #like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite #anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good #i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw #like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit #and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification #and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go #he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down #'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m #it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay #this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about #even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks #that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you

[unimaginativebepisenjoyer99]

the satrinyavas

#my art #digital art #artists on tumblr #fanart #the arcana #the arcana fanart #cat au #THERE i am done with these designs #ik some look ugly but idc its unlikely ill draw these characters again (as cats anyway?) #like i hate nasrin's but ill be dammned if i try to make sense of her hairstyle in my stupid cat style again. who cares #and i hate all of these braids they beat my ass #anywayz #i always had in my head the thought to make nadi's sisters (they're all sisters right i forgor. not that it rlly changes anything BUT) #different tabby patterns so she doesn't look so out of place #so we have classic. mackerel. broken mackerel n spotted + nafizah n nasmira who r solid (tho u could argue mira is like an abby cat) #and nadi is a smoke tabby (pictured in another post) #their dad is a sokoke and i like to think their mom has a secret pattern “underneath” her white to make all of these colors (like a tortie) #do u love my half-walls of text btw. can u imagine how much more i would ramble if there wasnt a char limit in the tags? #i could say all of this shit in the actual desc but whats the fun in that #i wanted 2 apologize 4 not posting in a week but thats content creator brainrot. happy new years anyway

[th3e-m4ng0]

My boi you cannot keep dropping such incredible/interesting transformers AUs and expect me not to get invested in them

I need more lore on all of them and i need them NOW!!!

IM SORRY LMAO 😭😭 i get crazy inspired by songs

i can tell u abt this last one, but there's not much, the idea popped to my head this morning lol 😭

everyone's shocked by op's death, because it was at the hands of an autobot !! not megan, not a decepticon, but a trusted bot. peace talks were ready to take place, but they almost didn't happen bc of it, since the bots thought the cons had brainwashed that mech into offlining oppy

im thinking megs and op weren't ever really close, not even before the war, like they were just figureheads of their own factions that opposed each other, they were never friends. so op dies, megs is very obviously shocked and angry like everyone else, since they're accusing Her faction of something they didn't do

one day he finds op on his room, looking all blue and transparent and snooping around. after triple checking with soundwave (+ some deep contemplation about possibly hitting his head recently) he accepts that his fate is being annoyed to death by his ex-enemy (they become friends eventually, hurray)

some Loong time later, peace is achieved, she doesn't step up to become leader like everyone said she would, and instead aims to just try to live a normal life. except literally Everyone is scared of him to some degree, he obviously has no friends (that are alive) and frankly it's making him depressed and angry that he can't go to the store without everyone running away (even if it was kinda funny at the beginning). so oppy decides to start teaching him to be nice and to start trusting others, it's safe to say megs is not a great student but is at least trying

#.txt #does this make sense.. sorry if it doesn't im in da bus rn #my thoughts are all over the place #LOL #also the g1-ish designs are placeholders. they don't look like that #some notes: no one can see op. megs tried talking to someone about whatever this may be but only got weird looks by ppl #op is rlly nice and tries to be cheerful all the time #but gets a lil sad sometimes when he thinks about his friends and how he probably wont ever be able to talk to them again #au #biiig wip. things are subject to change. im not the best storyteller. apologies

[linagram]

[ 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝-𝚝𝟸 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊 #𝟶𝟷 ] 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎

the second trial is getting closer and closer to its end. it's time for miki to finally meet jackalope, learn more about how this place works and who she's going to work with in the next season.

(also she has her hair down now!)

(the door opens)

Miki: *sighs*

Miki: Well, uh..

Miki: I guess it's over.

Miki: ...

Miki: It's.. kinda lonely now.

(sound of Miki sitting down on her bed)

Miki: This is so..

Miki: *starts crying*

Miki: This is not.. fair.. 

Miki: Eiji-san.. had worked so hard.. 

Miki: A-and now..

Miki: H-he'll be fine, right? I mean, we don't have anyone who can treat him, b-but..

Miki: I-I asked Chiba-san, but she's not a doctor, she's just the oldest one here..

Miki: A-and I can only d-do first aid stuff..

Miki: T-thankfully, it's just a broken arm, it could've been much worse..

Miki: But still..

Miki: .. Why is Eiji-san the only guard that the prisoners can touch?

Jackalope: Good question.

Miki: *SCREAMS*

Jackalope: Okay, before you try to hit me with anything-

Miki: WHO ARE YOU?! 

Miki: Or.. uh..

Miki: WHAT ARE YOU?!

Miki: "I.. I knew there was something wrong with this place, but I didn't expect to see this rabbit thing-"

Miki: ...

Miki: .. Rabbit thing?

Jackalope: Here we go again.

Jackalope: Oh-

Miki: Are you the rabbit that Hiyuu-san mentioned?!

Jackalope: S-stop shaking me-

Jackalope: .. Hiyuu?

Miki: Uh.. You know..

Miki: The third guard.

Miki: Wait, why am I even having a conversation with you? How can you even talk?!

Jackalope: Let's talk about that later.

Miki: I literally want to know why we can talk like this!

(sound of Jackalope jumping down on the bed)

Jackalope: Anyway. 

Jackalope: So, you're Miki, right? 

Jackalope: Yeah, you're definitely the cutest one out of all the guards we have this time.

Miki: .. How many guards do you have exactly?

Jackalope: Eh, there was supposed to be one more, but he couldn't handle the pressure, so..

Miki: .. What do you mean by that?

Jackalope: Actually, maybe I should explain how exactly we chose the guards this time. I don't think anything bad will happen if you learn more about this.

Jackalope: Also, I just trust you more than that Eiji guy. There is a reason why you're the "goddess of this place" after all, haha.

Miki: B-but what happened to the fourth guard-

Jackalope: So, you have probably already noticed that there's some kind of pattern if you think more about the connection you and Eiji have with other prisoners.

Jackalope: Two prisoners in particular. 

Miki: .. Eiji-san and Kei-san are brothers. Me and Asahi-san are siblings.

Jackalope: Exactly. So, why do you think we decided that we should choose the prisoners' siblings as the guards?

Miki: .. No idea. 

Jackalope: Well, you might be thinking that we did it out of some kind of sadistic urge to make you two judge your own siblings, however, Eiji hates Kei and would love to see him die.. or at least that's what he says, and it took you some time to remember that Marito is actually your brother.

Miki: How do you know his-

Jackalope: It isn't actually that entertaining, especially if we consider how you two tend to vote everyone. Eiji would still vote Kei guilty no matter what and you would do the opposite with Marito and forgive him every single time.

Jackalope: Also, this is just.. tasteless to me. What we need is actual judgement, even if it's based only on the prisoners' looks, and not your connections and relationships and how much you will cry when it's time to vote them guilty.

Jackalope: Though you have to agree that you have.. certain relationship dynamics with some of them. I bet it's getting harder to make decisions because of them.

Miki: So.. Why did you go for the prisoners' siblings?

Jackalope: The answer is simple, really.

Jackalope: Because it was easier.

Miki: .. Huh?

Jackalope: Think about it. What, you think we just found you all in a minute?

Jackalope: Yes, this prison might work in some mysterious ways that are impossible for someone like you to understand, but we had to find ten murderers who live in completely different cities and towns, wait for the right moment to send them here, make sure their family, friends and loved ones didn't find out and we also needed to find guards to judge them. Not one guard, but more, because this time we needed to see how the trial would go with people who have completely different morals.

Jackalope: So, then we found out more information about everyone's family members, we learned about you and Eiji, and we were like..

Jackalope: We need to put these two in the same room and see how it will play out.

Jackalope: But we still needed more than two guards because there was a possibility of you two refusing to work together and we didn't want a 50/50 result, so..

Miki: What is a "50/50 result"?

Jackalope: So yeah, we just decided that it will be easier to choose the prisoners' siblings as the guards because we wouldn't have to think too hard about it.

Miki: ...

Miki: U-um, sir, I don't know your name..

Jackalope: Oh, right, please forgive me for not introducing myself earlier, haha. Call me Jackalope-

Miki: A-anyway, sir, that's kind of lame.

Jackalope: Huh.

Miki: I AM SO SORRY, PLEASE PRETEND YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THAT!

Jackalope: No, no, I want you to elaborate.

Miki: Well.. I thought that there would be more thought put into.. 

Miki: You know.. All of this.

Jackalope: But we did put a lot of thought into it! 

Jackalope: For example, we've even chosen-

Jackalope: .. Ahem. I did agree to tell you about the siblings part, but I have to stop myself here. You're lucky that you're cute and it's hard to say no to you.

Miki: "I just wanted to learn more about the fourth guard.."

Miki: S-so, the fourth guard is-

Jackalope: We actually weren't sure if we should make you and Eiji the prisoners or Kei and Asahi.

Miki: ... What?

Jackalope: Or, you know, Kei and you, Eiji and Asahi, whatever.

Miki: W-what? Why?

Miki: W-why would you have a problem with making that choice?

Jackalope: Well, I think you already know the answer.

Jackalope: I mean, you all are murderers in some way.

Miki: ...

(sound of Miki falling on the floor)

Jackalope: Aw, don't look so sad. You already knew that-

Miki: But I.. But.. 

Miki: B-but Marito is alive! He's here! I didn't kill him!

Miki: I still think I'm a terrible sister and he deserves someone better than me, but..

Jackalope: Oh, Miki, you know I'm talking about someone else.

Miki: ...

Jackalope: We both know that Marito wasn't your victim.

Miki: ...

Miki: Well, Eiji-san can't be a murderer. He's too good for that.

Jackalope: "Good"? *laughs* You're way too pure for someone like him.

Jackalope: You seriously think a normal guy would have so much fun punishing everyone? And would be so experienced with coming up with ways to torture people?

Miki: E-even if he did kill someone, I'm sure he had a reason-

Jackalope: And so what? He's still a murderer.

Jackalope: You are a murderer. He is a murderer. The prisoners are murderers too. 

Jackalope: Milgram doesn't care about how you guys did it and why. You all had something to do with someone's death. Whether it was a direct murder, whether it was driving someone to suicide, whether it was causing someone's death by inaction, whether it was an accident, whether it was self-defense, this prison doesn't care.

Miki: .. But this isn't how a normal prison works. This isn't how normal trials work.

Jackalope: And you already know this place is anything but normal.

Miki: .. Is Hiyuu-san also a murderer?

Jackalope: Hm.. Kind of, but not really. Though he is partially responsible for someone.. almost dying.

Jackalope: And because of you and Eiji being more.. direct, we made you two wake up first.

Jackalope: Actually, if we count the fourth one, he was the one who woke up first, but.. There was a reason for that.

Miki:"We weren't the ones who woke up first?!"

Jackalope: There also was another reason why we went for the siblings, but this one.. Yeah, I'm not going to talk about it much.

Jackalope: So let's just say, it would be easier for us to make some.. changes to the trial.

Miki: "Changes"?

Jackalope: Well, for example..

Jackalope: If you keep asking more questions, maybe one day you will be the one waking up in a prison cell and waiting for your brother to judge you.

Miki: B-but you were the one who decided to tell me all this!..

Miki: Wait..

Miki: What.. does this all mean?

Miki: Actually, who are "we"?

Miki: You're wearing what looks like a guard uniform.. But I don't think you're one of the guards..

Jackalope: Haha, no, I'm not the fourth guard-

Miki: THEN WHO ARE YOU?!

Miki: WHO ARE ALL OF YOU?!

Miki: WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS? WHY ARE WE HERE?

Miki: JUST ANSWER ALREADY OR I WILL K-

Miki: ...

Jackalope: See? You all are murderers. Simple as that.

Jackalope: Oh, right, it's time for you two to properly meet each other.

Jackalope: I know you two have already met in person..

Jackalope: Even though I had told him not to leave his room..

Jackalope: Anyway, meet the third guard of the Milgram prison: Kuroki Hinode!

(the door opens)

(sounds of Hinode's steps)

Hinode: I really could just use a screen for this, but it'd be very rude..

Hinode: Hello, Miki-san. It's very nice to meet you again like this.

***

Jackalope: So, how are you doing?

(silence)

Jackalope: Not good, huh? Understandable.

Jackalope: But hey, at least it was Yurika who broke your arm. I can't imagine how you'd react if it was Kei.

(silence)

Jackalope: Well, I doubt you'll be able to participate in the voting process this time. 

Jackalope: Anyway, see you-

Eiji: .. Judge..

Jackalope: Hm?

Eiji: I still.. 

Eiji: Need to judge them..

Jackalope: Hey, I admire your diligence, but we already have a guard with health problems, so-

Eiji: Well, what else do you expect me to do?!

Eiji: I'm not just gonna lie here!

Eiji: If I can't judge them, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!

Eiji: I FINALLY KNOW WHAT I WAS BORN TO DO! I KNOW WHAT THE PURPOSE OF MY LIFE IS!

Eiji: JUST LET ME DO MY JOB ALREADY!

Eiji: !

Eiji: .. It hurts..

Jackalope: *sighs* I really wish you could be more obedient. Why can't you just follow the others' example?

Eiji: .. Did you do something to me?

Jackalope: Huh?

Eiji: Nobody can touch Miki. But they can touch me perfectly fine. 

Eiji: And if I remember correctly, this started to happen only when the second trial began.

Eiji: So.. Again, did you do something to me?

Jackalope: .. Seriously, why do you remember our first meeting so well?

Jackalope: Now, where was that thing.. 

Jackalope: Right. Anyway, you'll forget everything in like five minutes, so I can just say it to you right now.

Jackalope: Eiji, I mean this in the nicest way possible. 

Jackalope: Your punishments are creative. I really wish I could see you punish more prisoners after the first trial.

Jackalope: But no, there wasn't even any fight between you and Miki. You've just let her save like seven prisoners.

Jackalope: So, uh.. You don't really make a good guard.

Jackalope: And you didn't give us the result we wanted, so..

Jackalope: Yeah, this is your punishment.

Eiji: ...

Jackalope: Anyway, have a nice dream.

#anyway does anyone want to sign a petition to let miki choke jackalope or smth #what is it with both eiji and miki being so bad at controlling their emotions- ah yeah the trauma #so haha :) yeah :) lots of lore reveal this time :) #btw again i apologize if jackalope is ooc in this or what he says doesn't make sense #again he's not a guard here he's more like.. a babysitter for the guards?? #and also i'll post the third guard's profile after the second post-t2 vd! #🎤 voice dramas! 🎤 #🗡️guard 001: sanada eiji 🗡️ #🌼guard 002: andou miki 🌼 #❤️‍🩹 guard 003: kuroki hinode ❤️‍🩹 #milgram #milgram oc #milgram project #ocgram

[thehealingsystem]

gonna reveal myself as a fake mcr fan danger days I'm not much of a fan of I haven't ever read killjoys and I don't listen to gerard way's music

#that's not to say I don't like danger days #some of the songs I actually would listen to a lot #but it still doesn't compare to literally everything else they've made and due to never reading killjoys #the storyline doesn't make sense to me! and I love storylines! if I knew what it was about I would probably enjoy it a lot more! #I was intending to read it but....I have a hard time picking things up #and I HAVE heard gerard's own music. not all of them but quite a few #there was like one or two I liked and that's about it #sorry just did not grab my attention. I should probably go back and listen again but. still have a hard time picking things up #my apologies don't scream at me #mcr #my chemical romance

[certainwill]

my gousotsu brainrot came back and is driving me up the wall...

the POTENTIAL is SO GOOD but whenever I think about the things I don't like about it I'm like. arrrrgh. pulling my hair out... i'm in love with what it could've been, but the knowledge that it's all just my headcanons i love and not the actual reality of what was intended just makes me so sad sometimes...

#ooc #in other words i WANT to be really into higurashi again but gousotsu is making it hard. and i'm so sad about it. #it's good enough in concept that i still want to incoporate it into my canon for satoko #but then that means i have to deal with all the flaws of it........... rip #idk this post is a little incoherent; apologies for that #i love meguri too but it doesn't have a ''villainous'' satoko in the way gousotsu has. #i mean. the shit she does is still horrific LMAO but her situation is so sympathetic that it's hard for me to blame her at all... #whereas the anger that satoko has in the anime is so interesting to me. i want to explore it. #so unfortunately my brain is not satisfied with just taking meguri instead and leaving it at that; lol #does this post make any sense???????? idk #anyway i still adore satoko and higurashi despite my complaining!! apologies for the negativity otl #just had to get my feelings out for a moment; i suppose

[scrawlingskribbles]

still endlessly fascinating to me that the whole "Casanova"/"romance" angle of Raymond's character is just a word-of-god informed trait that we never actually.... see, in-show?? Like, if you're Just watching the episodes without any other contact to fandom/Krew stuff, Raymond is purely just a haughty sports-themed bot with a bit of a flair for the dramatic, so Ernesto's jab at him in Let's Watch The Boxmore Show about needing to "pick a lane" between Sports or Romance feels like it comes?? completely out of left field????? 😂😂 (yes, sports pun intended lol) Like... is it just because of his whole roses/flowers motif??? Is that really all it takes to somehow constitute "romance" here?? Because I call BS on that honestly xD 'Romance' as a concept has way more depth/complication than simply "the existence of roses/flowers"; not to make another pun so soon, but It Takes Two To Tango as the saying goes, and the only person Raymond ever (sort-of?) tangoed with was Rad but that dance battle was definitely Not romantic-coded, so?? xD (Insert joke here about Second First Date largely consisting of a date-fight with a focus on flowers which Was supposed to be romantic-coded but SHHH x'3c) But at the same time, if the flowers aren't supposed to be the reasoning then W H E R E are we supposed to have seen any kind of ""romance"" from Raymond for Ernesto's line to make sense??? Please, I am genuinely asking to be shown the logical thread here, it's been killing me for years now and I simply Cannot see it jhgjshgkjsg x''3

#OK KO #baffled. absolutely *gobsmacked*. like I know it's a kids cartoon and he's nowhere near a Main/focus character #but you can't go making claims of Casanova and Romance-Bot and then NEVER actually show that at all??? #I mean my Actual theory for why they refer to him like that is that it's like. a workaround/codeword for The GayTM #which then makes Ernesto calling him out for it even more rude & tbh kinda hilarious but I digress xD #''oh no he's totally flamboyant & dramatic & XYZ because he's a ~RoMaNcE~ robot; don't worry Censors there's nothing to see here <3'' #and yeah again this is Specifically about Ernesto calling him out for something that we Never saw on-screen in-show #so like if there were other PlansTM or whatever that didn't make it in then fine I get that but then you need to cut Ernesto's line too #because otherwise it just doesn't make sense 😂 #OKAY I'm done with this ramble for now; my apologies for taking up your dash/screen space with this nonsense x3c #shut up Wisp

[winepresswrath]

Actually I think Antoinette deserves to get in on killing Lestat but that was either an absolutely genius example of Louis POV or the laziest and most disinterested attempt at character writing I have ever seen in my life.

#Louis is out there like murder is iffy but stealing my man makes you one of God's most hated creatures for real #he demands that Lestat kill her BEFORE he starts eating people oh my god. doesn't even ask Claudia to do it #WHO is letting their boyfriend cut of their finger so their husband will think he murdered her for him? #and then monologuing like yes I'm stupid. yes I'm desperate. no he doesn't treat me well. but I just love adultery so much it is my passion #not to like. overstate Anne rice's character work #but Antoine in the books makes sense #as both a person and a preoccupation for Lestat #I come here to escape complaints is not a thing you tell your mistress while she is complaining it is a vibe that permeates a relationship #and for top tier fuckboys probably including Lestat a compliment I guess #anyway my Antoinette apologism continues unabated #one day she's going to waltz into th Dubai penthouse like yes I let him cut my finger off in exchange for immortality #but this motherfucker just took him back again and I haven't touched his dick since 1947 so #if they continue this love triangle into the modern day I will laugh hollowly #but also Lestat does have a lot of other love interests are they all going to be written like this? #IWTV #amc iwtv spoilers #amcwtv

[autisticlee]

I wasn't diagnosed with hEDS, despite very much suspecting it before that. my doctor used that testing method (I always forget the name of) that looks at like 5 joints only and judges based on that. some of those happened to be joints I don't have as much issue with (for example, my elbows and knees don't bend past the degree required and my back is way too stiff to touch the ground without a lot of stretching first) but I was told I have general, basically harmless joint hypermobility and there's no treatment to help me or anything. I'm basically fine I guess?

I was told by a few people on twitter that the test is outdated and the issues I mention having sounds a lot like hEDS and I need a second opnion (but can't get one because that's the only doctor in my hospital/insurance system) so all I have to go by is what people online have told me from a guess and what a doctor told me. so I really don't know what the truth it. but I feel obligated to go off of what the doctor said and say "I'm fine" because I was also told by twitter people that this "isnt something to wish for/it's a very serious condition/you can't just self diagnosed this/etc" so I can only assume I just have a few joints that bend more than they should but it's fine.

(this is longer than i expected so i'll cut it)

my joints are always popping and cracking and feeling very loose and floppy. I don't get big dislocations requiring hospital visits that I am told are a required symptoms of hEDS. )I can dislocated my jaw on demand though and have to use my hands to put it back lmao and other joints get stuck and feel like they're trying to dislocate and stuff like that? i've had toes and fingers dislocated and my parents just yank on them until they pop back in. my hips are some of the worst joints i think. of course those aren't tested in the EDS test. i'll be walking and suddenly my hip feels like it pops out of place or gets stuck. if i'm standing and shift my hips, I can feel it pop really dramatically. always a dull pain, sometimes sharp pain that makes it very hard to walk untol it goes away. but I try to ignore it.

I feel like I have high pain tolerance (not sure if due to being autistic and having weird sensory issues, or from basically being trained my while life to ignore my pain because my parents couldn't afford to take me to doctors, being told to suck it up i'm being dramatic, getting ignored or told others "have it worse," etc.) so i've just been accepting the joint pain I get, especially from my very physically demanding job, and don't do much about it. I'm pretty sure most, if not all my sleep problems are due to chronic pain and discomfort. everyone tries to tell me it's all in .y head and I can't sleep because my mind is "too active" and i'm just "thinking too much" so i've been suggested so many things to treat anxiety. thkae don't work and meds made it WAY worse. i'm the definition of "head empty" when i'm trying to sleep. I don't think that's it lmao. if it's anything in my head, it's the vivid dreams I have. but do dreams make you feel like you got physically hit by a truck? maybe mentally, yeah.

my mom, who I work with, has chronic pain and back and other problems. so since she "just deals with it" she applies that to me and says "mine is worse/I deal with it every day and it mever stops/I can't help you/you have nothing to complain about/etc" and not just her, my whole family seems to have chronic pain and stuff. it's like it's genetic, idk. so i'm expected to work through it and ignore it. she doesn't use any mobility aids despite probably needing to, so it was never suggested to me. i've had pain and issues most my life but was always told i'm "too young to have any pain. wait until you're 25/30/35" (the number changes as I get older for some reason...) "you arent allowed to complain/experience pain now, you're too young. exercise more. you sit at your computer too much. etc" so i've just tried to ignore it and deal with it because i'm overreacting and it's not bad, right? others have it worse.

I visited some friends this past week. One friend is disabled and uses a cane/wheelchair to aid her mobility due to severe chronic pain. I brought my hip brace with me, which helps hold my hip in the joint a little and helps stop it popping out as I walk (there's still pain though, but it stops my joint from popping out sideways when i move it, if that makes sense?) my friend noticed me struggling and despite me telling her i'm fine and this or normal, she demanded I don't just "deal with it" like everyone else. she made sure I had my brace on, shared her pain meds, and made me borrow her cane while she used her wheelchair.

we went to an anime convention and met up with one of my friend's friends for a little bit. she also uses a cane when walking around a lot. she noticed my hip issues and my skin having a bad reaction to the double sided tape I was using for cosplays and asked if I had EDS because I showed signs like people she knows who have it. that kind of further makes me wonder if maybe my doctor misdiagnosed because of the bad outdated test? perhaps it's not and i'm overthinking it. i'm just thinking that if that's what it it actually is, it would be nice to know so I know how to help myself? like maybe there's more treatments than just ignoring standard hypermobility? and what if there's other related issues i'd have to watch for amd not know about?

but anyway, borrowing my friends cane, with and even without my hip brace (sometimes with wrist brace too if i remembered because wrist pain particularly due to an old, severe injury as a kid), doing a ton of walking all week, I noticed I never got sharp hip and knee pains that I get normally that almost down me every day at work or when going for a walk. I always try to ignore them and push through and continue what I'm doing. I assume that's fine and even get annoyed at myself for being so overreacting to it????? i'm suppsed to have high pain tolerance, right? i'm making a big deal out of nothing probably!!!!

but using it that whole week and finding that it helped makes me wonder if I should get my own???? not that I really go anywhere and I can't use it at work because I have to use my hands the whole time. (or is that attention seeking behavior? I know using one draws negative attention because people are assholes about that stuff. but it's still attention. am I secretly wanting attention???) I also wonder if i'm experiencing more issues than I think. like have I gotten so used to ignoring things that it's actually worse than I think? am I a walking imposter syndrome? i've heard you can dull your own sense of pain by ignoring it long enough and being autistic with sensory issues can also cause a reduced sense of pain. it seemed like being around other disabled people and people who actually paid attention to me meant people noticed me struggling more than I notice, if that makes sense?? but I don't know i'd I am truly struggling or i'm unconsciously making it up????

when I was on my way home walking through the airport, I thought I was doing fine. yeah, I was going slower than everyone else and leaning on my rolling carryon luggage, but i'm sure I was fine......I must have looked like I was struggling. a man driving one of those little transport vehicles through the hall stopped and asked if I was ok. I said i'm fine and he insisted I get on and he take me down the rest of the very long hall. he got to the end where it splits and I needed the opposite way he was headed so he called for someone with a wheelchair to scoop me up and take me to my gate and wouldn't accept a no.

I thought i'd be fine shuffling the hour long layover I had to the opposite side of the airport to my gate, but turns out I made it a minute after boarding time started even with other people running me through on wheels double the speed or more i was going myself. I may have missed my flight if I kept shuffling on my own.....

even though it was a lot of help, I still felt bad, like I was taking up resources from people who really needed it. I never considered myself physically disabled despite my weird joint issues, weakness, chronic pain, lack of balance and coordination, etc. it was a lot of help, and like I said, I may have missed my plane without it, but I still felt really bad and still do, like a fraud, like I was wasting something others needed more. I just feel like my struggles aren't enough to warrant any thpe of disability aid, if they can even be considered struggles at all. I felt like i'm an able person being fake and taking something that doesn't belong to me, wasting resources that aren't meant for me, despite it not being me who chose it or asked for it. I tried to refuse, but it was given to me by someone who seems to have felt I needed it????? should I have rejected it more and tried to be more insistent on being fine? (though i'm not sure i'd be capable of that since I was overwhelmed and my autistic brain can barely handle airports....so talking at all was kind of out of the question)

i really feel like I don't need or deserve help like that! I need to deal with it on my own and ignore it, right? others have it worse! it's not that bad. I can deal with it on my own. maybe i'm being dramatic about any pain and stuff i'm experiencing and need to suck it up and stop complaining. It's not bad enough to even mention it! maybe i'm unconsciously trying to get attention or something like that. unconsciously looked like I was struggling for some kind of attention or something (despite trying to always shrink and hide myself in public to be left alone, especially when sensory overwhelmed). I hope I didn't impede anyone who needed and deserved help more than me 🥺😔

#lee rambles #disablity #hypermobile eds #disabled #i dont know what to tag this but if anyone wants to share their opinion i'll allow it #tell me if you think i did bad and stole resources from people who need it. am i a fraud? and i horrible for not being able to reject? #how do i stop limping around and look find instead so it doesn't happen again? 😔 why do i feel sl bad about this? 😭 #look fine* #am i an abled asshole who is overreacting and taking up space i dont deserve? 😭😭😭😭😭 #do any actual disabled people ever feel like this? #i truly genuinely feel like a fraud who wasted people's time and resources and feel bad and cant stop 😭 #i'm sorry if anyone thinks this way too. i didnt mean for this to happen 😔 #also im not proofreading this. too tired. so apologies if typos or things dont make sense or i repeated the same things D:

[mosspapi]

Can't decide if this dude in my studio course is well-intentioned but ignorant as fuck, or just straight up a bigot :(

#he's very friendly. apologizes when he says/does smth over the line. I don't get bad vibes from him n my gut instinct is usually p accurate #but then he does shit like last night where he repeatedly and aggressively called someone a 'fucking fruit' bcuz he didn't like the lecture #(now. I don't have the full context of that bcuz I was just overhearing parts of it. from what I gathered he's not doing well in that class #and was frustrated with the lecture material and taking it out on a guest lecturer who was talking abt feminism? but I don't actually know) #(however. he was Very Much using 'fruit' as a slur in this context and being derogatory. regardless of Why he was doing it) #so it's like. brother idk if I can excuse that. like yes it's possible he doesn't realize that's not ok. but also dude ur like 25 or smth. #but again. he strikes me as a genuinely decent guy so I'm like kinda surprised #idk he gives off like. ur stereotypical 'class clown' or well-meaning idiot if that makes sense. #so it's hard to tell if he's genuinely bigoted and just good at hiding it or well-meaning but too dense to realize u cannot say that shit #armchair speaks

[churipu]

JJK MEN REACTING TO YOU GETTING LEFT OUT BY YOUR FRIENDS 𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧

ִ ࣪𖤐 featuring. gojo satoru, toji fushiguro, sukuna ryomen, inumaki toge.

ִ ࣪𖤐 warnings. just jjk men being overprotective of you bye, and cursing.

note. guysssss, no requests pls, they're not open :(( and if you sent one in, i apologize but they're going to take a bit of time to do :(

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

before you did — gojo had already sensed that your friends were shit. believe me when i say that he has tried talking to you about it from the moment you introduced him to them during your weekly "girls night".

but you said that your friends were fine. gojo doesn't think so. ever since that day, every time you said you were going out with your friends; he came along with you, not leaving you out of his sight.

that includes today. your "girls night" or whatever — when you try to convince gojo that he didn't need to come with, but all he said was, "i am one of the girls, aren't i?"

so he came along. and he didn't regret it. not. one. bit.

your friends, he didn't even know how to describe them without slipping in a curse or two. because he couldn't believe you were actually friends with these douchebags. it was plain obvious they were leaving you out on purpose.

whenever you try to chime in the conversation, your voice is immediately toppled over by one of them. or when you try to walk beside them, they step a bit further — on purpose. he could tell.

the male was really glad he could smell the stench from a long time ago. so when you and him were walking behind them, fingers interlocked. he stopped walking, and it made you stop too, "what's wrong, 'toru?"

"let's go," he tugged you in the opposite direction from where your friends are walking to, "they don't deserve you."

the male was very upset for you. he wasted no time driving you home with him, giving you the love you deserved (and a pep talk on why you should never ever talk to your friends again).

𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

toji didn't even care whether he knows your friends or not. but when you convinced him that they wanted to meet him, he agreed (begrudgingly).

and everything went south when he noticed the different way they react to you — and to him. you and your friends were a trio.

it's always a trio. he never gets it, he's seen his fair share of shitty friendships among people. that's why he doesn't have friends (or people don't want to befriend him, doesn't matter).

it wasn't even a trio any more. it was a duo, with you on the side. toji noticed the subtle way they share a look to each other whenever you start talking — or the way they nudge each other when you do something. god, it pisses him off.

he swore if you weren't there, he'd resort to violence.

when you excuse yourself to go to the restroom, toji of course takes the chance to give a small talk (straight up threatening) to them. he waved to you vaguely as you walk towards the direction of the restroom.

"don't ever fucking talk to my partner again after this. y'hear me?"

the mood plummeted and you realized after you came back from the restroom. but you said nothing about it.

and like toji threatened, your friends never talked or contacted you ever again. which obviously saddened you — but the male told you how shitty they are and that it was a good thing they're not talking to you anymore.

to this day, you still didn't know it was toji behind it all.

𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀 𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍

he has no shame in speaking his mind. and he immediately sensed how your friends were treating you differently from the first time he sees them. the male wastes no time giving them the eyes, where he was clearly telling them to fuck off.

when you and your friends (and him) decided to take a break inside a restaurant, he was pissed. sukuna, didn't even want to come with at the first place — he actually forced himself to come for you. he wanted to make sure your friends knew their place.

he has a bold tongue. sukuna is spicy with his words, he could care less about what people think of him. so the second he hears a disrespectful comment from either one of your friends directed to you to make you feel like you're the odd one out, the male glowered at them.

"mind repeating that?" he questions calmly, but something in his voice was intimidating. as if he was about to jump up from his seat and strangle the hell out of your friends.

of course, your friends were silent. afraid of him.

"exactly." the male stood up, tugging you along with him out of the restaurant, "what friends you have."

you were embarrassed at the comment, and sukuna sensed that too. even if he was tempted to say more things about your friends — he held back. for you.

"you don't need friends. what more do you need than me?"

𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄

believe me when i say that he contemplated using his cursed speech technique on your friends. he had seen you come back from a night out with your friends, upset and teary eyed.

and from that day, he's always hated them. so when you said that you were going to hang out with them again — inumaki followed you, trailing after you like a lost puppy.

actually — scratch that, you were the lost puppy. trailing after your friends, behind them like you aren't even a part of the group. if it weren't for inumaki being there, it would just be you alone.

inumaki mutters out a lot of, "salmon" and "tuna mayo" to you. fuming.

you grabbed his hand, swinging it happily. at this point, you didn't even care about your friends — as long as inumaki was there, you didn't feel alone like you used to. so you did what you had to do since long ago.

ditch them.

"thank you for being here, toge."

inumaki was happy now, no longer in a foul mood, and he squeezed your hand, "tuna mayo!"

a little translation: "i'm hungry."

© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE

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