#all of u........ i love u
I'm going to be really sappy here, knowing you has had such an good impact on me, I love you. And honestly knowing you makes me so so happy ❤❤
Libby, I don't know what I did to deserve such a sweet Message, nor what I did to deserve such a beautiful Friend as you, but I am more than grateful <3
I'm sending you a big hug and lots of love. Thank you so much for this <3
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Four weddings and a funeral
send me a hugh grant film and I'll tell you why he was gay in it
look, I rewatched the whole film, I made notes, I can give you some massive leaps of logic to justify this one but really I think all I need to do is remind everyone of this outfit:
truly like. i saw a man so beautiful I started crying.
anyway if you WANT my vague reasons and leaps of logic here they are:
literally all his friends are gay. two of them are ACTUALLY gay but the rest of them are gay because I said so. especially the girl he lives with I forget her name but she Is a lesbian
keeps saying how much he hates weddings and how he Never wants to get married. except for how he Does want to get married but he's yet to meet a girl he can bear the thought of marrying. his straight friend tells him to just suck it up and marry a girl who's kinda pretty and kinda nice.
there really actually aren't that many straws to grasp at here bc it's genuinely an almost perfect film and he's Quite heterosexual in it despite like. his mannerisms and the way he dresses. anyway what I WILL say is that you Could draw comparisons between Charles in four weddings and Bobby in company in that they're both in their 30s and panicking about needing to settle down despite not being ready but feeling like they're under pressure because everyone around them IS settled down. and obviously Bobby in company HAS fucked men so like. lets say Charles in four weddings has too
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going to the library tomorrow to write about remus and. u guys are inspiring me so hard and really making me think bc
like ive always seen remus’ lycanthropy as a disability and as One Of Those Guys (disabled) myself i. think i was pushing a lot of my Issues onto him in my writing and sort of. going with the flow without really thinking about what that said in relation to the way j**nne wrote lycanthropy as an alagory for hiv/aids and not really thinking about how my writing of him feeling cursed and evil and bad + self hating etc is playing into overarching themes ofdisability and chronic illness being a curse upon us
and i sat and thought yesterday like. okay i’m disabled, do i feel like i’m cursed?? and honestly my answer is. not really lol. i feel like. just this is my life. so why was i making my remus so. constantly negative about being a werewolf? why was my source of angst coming from the fact that he kind of feels like he deserves to be dead partially bc of his lycanthropy????? hello???? what???
so i’ve done a great big edit/overhaul of that part of my work and taken a more nuanced approach to it
bc i think. remus would have such a deep and intimate and complicated relationship with his lycanthropy and with the wolf and i think definitely at times he hated it, and had those horrible moments we all have as disabled people where we really just wish things were maybe a bit different bc life can be. very cruel. but i think especially as a teenager once the boys found out (maybe he even tells them?) he just. felt pretty content with the general fact of being a werewolf, though there was a lot of internal rumination and conflict as he was growing and figuring out his identity.
and i feel like with disabled people, we tend to have a kind of darkly funny attitude towards our disabilities sometimes and i think that would fit in perfectly with remus’ personality. i think even as he got older and was. obviously highly traumatized by the war and kind of scrubbed himself bare of most of the. deviance and wit and sharp edges that made him so powerful and so energized in his earlier years, i think he still had that sort of unhingenessed, bubbling below the surface a bit.
i think when sirius comes back, he brings that out in remus more and the lie low at lupins and ootp era remus is. very ready to crack very uncomfortable jokes about lycanthropy and is much better able to fight for what he wants and needs. in the years of having mostly only himself, for company, he really knows himself quite well and is. comfortable enough to kind of. do what he wants. sirius is excellent for encouraging that.
i just am very invested in working through the complex feelings remus has towards himself and the wolf and being the wolf and his chronic pain, and the bodily trauma as well as emotional trauma and societal attitudes etc
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