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snowyfrostshadows · 1 year

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Playing Koopid

When Mario wished something interesting would happen at one of Peach's more formal parties, he didn't mean 'watching his brother aggressively chase down and flirt with with the King of the Koopas' but that's exactly what happened and to say he's at his wit's end here is a bit of an understatement

Based off of the Accidental Cupid prompt by @shapeshiftinterest

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Carefully eyeing a brick in the not-too-far-away tower, Larry pulled back on the arrow to make his shot, only to have what would have been a perfect hit fly wildly to the left and just barely hit the tower as a certain BRAT pushed into him at the last second.

“You’re taking too long!”

Larry scowled and smacked the top of Junior’s head with the bow. “And you made me miss what that arrow did!”

Junior stomped his foot and stuck his tongue out. “Well maybe if you were quicker you could have seen it! Gimmie the bow! It’s my turn!”

Scowl deepening, Larry pulled the bow away from Junior’s stupid, grubby hands. “No way! It’s still my turn cuz you got in my way!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Lemmy! Tell him it’s my turn!”

Both koopalings turned to face the third, lying lazily on top of his ball and watching his siblings fight with all the investment of a bargain bin lifeguard.

“Why should I? This is boring. Can’t we do something else already?”

“No! I wanna see what those arrows Kamek and the other magikoopas were all hush-hush about do!”

Lemmy rolled his eyes. “Fiiiine.” Leaning forward a little, Lemmy pressed a star on his ball, opening up the secret compartment and peaked inside. “Looooooks like we got three more.”

“Only three left?” Larry asked, dumbfounded. “How is that possible? We haven’t been out here that long!”

Lemmy shrugged. “My ball’s only so big genius. Until Iggy figures out how to recreate that whatchamacallit from his one nerd show, what I can fit in here to sneak out, is what we got.”

Larry rolled his eyes. “Fiiiiine. Gimmie the arrows.”

“Why do you get the arrows?! It’s my turn!”

Larry snorted. “You ruined my last one! I should get to go again!”

Junior scowled. “Says who?”

“Me. And literally every other koopa who’s been stuck with a brat like you.”

Junior’s eyes narrowed and the next thing Larry knew, he was being pushed hard enough to land on his shell.

“Whoops.” Junior said, in that fakely sweet tone that somehow managed to fool adults. “Looks like you’re too stuck to try again.”

“LEMMY!” Larry howled as he struggled to right himself. Curse the Mushroom Kingdom’s stupid soft ground and spongy grass. It was never this hard to get back up at home!

“Sorry Lar, Junior’s got a point about this being his turn.”

“Traitor.”

Lemmy rolled his eyes as he approached the youngest sibling. “Kay Junior; which one do you want?”

“Hmm. That one! It looks like mama’s hair!”

“Huh. It kinda does. Yeah alright. Knock yourself out.”

Larry struggled even harder to no avail. “Leeemmy.” he whined at his brother as he passed him as he stepped away from Junior.

“...fine. I swear, you’re just as bad as he is…”

Larry bit back the insult he so badly wanted to say at that. If he wanted to get back on his feet, he had to be nice.

Ignoring Lemmy’s grunts as he worked to pull the slightly bigger koopaling back up, Larry focused his attention on Junior.

He didn’t even know why he wanted to fire an arrow so bad. The brat was having such a hard time trying to get the arrow in the bow. And heck, even when he did manage to fit one in there, he had so little strength, the arrows barely flew at all and ended up in the dirt a few steps away and utterly wasting whatever magical effect they had.

Eyes darting towards the two that Lemmy had placed down to help him, Larry noticed that they were both just like a couple they’d used already while Junior….had a new one….and knowing him, he was just gonna waste it with one of his bad shots.

“There. You’re not stuck anymore. Happy?”

Larry nodded, eyes still locked on Junior as he pushed his brother out of his way and made his way towards The Brat.

Lemmy rolled his eyes and made his way back to his ball. He was not going to get involved in the upcoming fight. Although, he couldn’t help smirking a little as he took out some candy from one of his ball’s hidden compartments, that didn’t mean he couldn’t watch the upcoming fireworks.

The others didn’t know what they were missing, refusing to come on the same trip as those two.

Junior had just gotten the arrow in the bow and was admiring how the heart shaped tip of it looked against the curve of the bow. If mama could see him now, she’d be soooo proud and impressed that she’d go back with papa on her own after this party.

His tail wagged a little. Maybe he could go down and show her how cool he was right now.

“Ya’know, if you don’t know what to do next, I could take over this one and you could shoot the next two.”

Junior turned slightly and frowned. “How did you get back up?”

Larry puffed his chest out. “I’m just that talented.”

“At being stupid maybe.” Junior muttered before scowling. “Now go away. I’m busy and I don’t need your help.”

Larry snorted. “You’re right. You don’t, which is why I’m taking over.”

“HEY!” Junior yelped as his brother suddenly dove at him and tried to rip the bow and arrow out of his hands. “GET OFFA ME!”

“OH? SO YOU CAN RUIN THIS LAST COOL ARROW LIKE YOU RUIN EVERYTHING ELSE? NO! GIMMIE THAT STUFF BRAT!”

“NOOOO! IT’S MY TURN AND I DON’T RUIN STUFF! YOU DO! LIKE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW!”

“LET GO JUNIOR!”

“YOU LET GO!”

In the middle of their tug-of-war, the bow had shifted position so that by the time Larry pinched Junior a little too hard, forcing him to loose his grip on the arrow prematurely, the arrow did not, as most of the previous ones had, fly towards a probably abandoned tower, but high up in the air before falling straight down towards the crowd of boring, stuffy grown-ups having a boring, fancy smancy lunch party at the bottom of the hill.

And then, a loud ‘ow’ rose up from the party from wherever the arrow had landed.

Junior and Larry froze before turning wide eyes to the only technically older koopaling in the vicinity.

“Weeelp.” Lemmy said cheerfully as he slid off his ball. “There’s only one thing to do in situations like these. Run.”

Picking up his ball, Lemmy did just that.

Exchanging a quick look with each other, Junior and Larry quickly dropped the bow and chased after him.

After all, Lemmy had the right idea.

In situations like these, the best course of action was always abandoning the scene of the crime and be far enough away that the mere idea of them being the culprits was the last thing on anyone’s mind.

It wasn't that he hated the more formal social functions that Peach would throw on occasion. They were important. He understood that, really!

Not all royals and diplomats were willing to play intense party games or sports festivals to maintain good relations.

So. For those more...high collar individuals, Peach elected to hold these more formal and polite parties.

They were just. Kinda boring.

Well, really boring if he was honest.

If Peach hadn't personally requested he and Luigi attend to keep an eye on a certain (technically) royal koopa in attendance, then he wouldn't have even come.

Maybe.

...these super high end royal parties did serve really really good cake...

He just wished something halfway interesting would happen at one of these things for once.

A sudden yelp from Luigi next to him drew him out of his thoughts.

"You okay bro?"

"Yeah." Luigi grimaced as he rubbed his shoulder. "I think something just stung me."

Concerned, Mario looked around for the possible culprit. (He hoped it wasn't a buzzer. Or multiple buzzers. He absolutely did not want to fight a bunch of overgrown bees in one of his nicer outfits)

To his confusion, (or maybe luck?) he didn't see anything. Did. Did the Mushroom Kingdom have actual insect sized insects???

"Hey. Mario."

Mario looked back at Luigi and frowned at the somewhat dazed look on his brother's face.

"Are you a sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Fantastico mai meglio..." Luigi suddenly straightened as he practically shoved his water cup at him.

"Can you hold this?"

"Sure? Why-?"

Luigi gave him a wide, almost demented grin. "I just saw someone I really, really need to talk to. Right. Now."

"...and I'm a holding your drink why?"

Luigi rolled his eyes. "So I don't drop it. Duh."

Before Mario could even reply to that, Luigi was patting his shoulder and running off into the crowd with a cry of 'Scusami, bello'.

Frown deepening, Mario slowly followed.

He didn't want to ruin whatever meeting Luigi was so desperate to initiate but this all felt...off.

He couldn't imagine who would cause that sort of reaction in his brother

Maybe Peasley?

...but then again...Luigi had seemed kind of embarrassed when he'd asked him how things were going on between them so. Prooobably not the BeanBean prince...

"What do you want Greenie?"

Mario frowned at the familiar boisterous voice of the Koopa King and quickly picked up his pace

For once, he agreed with Bowser. What could Luigi possibly want with him?

The two of them came in sight just in time for Mario to watch his brother confidently push his hair back as he stepped within arm's reach of Bowser

"I've been meaning to ask, but. Do you only like Princesses or is it humans you like?" Luigi leaned forwards, smile teetering dangerously close to a smirk. "Cuz I'm human and I'm interested if you are~."

"...What?" Bowser flatly asked, staring at his brother as if he couldn't believe what had just come out of his mouth.

Mario couldn't blame him. He also felt like he'd just walked into some sort of weird fun house mirror.

There's no way he heard that right.

Luigi sighed dramatically before suddenly spinning on his heel to better lean against Bowser, head tilted slightly back to look up at the Koopa. "Just a being around you is-" Luigi flicked his fingers, summoning a couple small sparks of lightning. "-electrifying"

Bowser's jaw dropped. "Are you. Hitting on me?!?"

Luigi grinned, twisting around again. "I sure am~" he half sang. "I a told Mario you're a smart Koopa." and then, to really drive in his apparent brand new sudden death wish, Luigi BOOPED the giant fire breathing monster with anger issues right on the nose with maybe the dopiest grin known to man.

Mario felt his heart jump instantly to his throat at the sight.

Nope!

He could not just stand around watching this anymore!

Not if he wanted to watch his brother become a pile of ash in about three seconds judging by how red Bowser's face was looking.

Quickly marching forward, Mario roughly pulled his brother out of Bowser's space and gave his rival the most apologetic (and not at all panicked) look he could muster.

"So a sorry. I a don't know what's a gotten into him. Deve avere delle api nel cervello. Mi dispiace. We're just a gonna go now. Ciao.”

Grip tightening on Luigi, Mario began to drag his brother away from the slowly growing crowd, only stopping once he felt they were far enough away and hidden in one of Peach’s private tents where they could talk (and maybe figure out if Luigi was suffering from Heatstroke or something.)

Leading his twin to a chair, Mario stared at him in concern.

"Are you. Feeling okay?"

"Mmhm. Never better." Luigi mummered distractedly as he looked back towards the area they'd just left.

"...are you sure? You just a flirted with Bowser." Mario frowned. "In public."

Luigi shrugged before suddenly glancing down at him, eyes wide. "You don't think it was too much, do you?"

Mario blinked, completely thrown at the direction the conversation had suddenly taken.

"I mean, I thought he'd you know. Like an aggressive approach. Since he's a so so so-"

"Brash?"

"Confident!"

"That is not the word I'd a use."

Luigi sighed as he placed his hands over his heart, gazing dreamily somewhere over his brother's head.

"But he is! He practically oozes confidence! Whenever he enters a room, all eyes are on a him and it doesn't bother him! In fact, I a think he relishes in the attention, not that I a blame him. Who wouldn't want ta look at him? Strong, brave, always knows what he wants to say and do..."

Mario felt his jaw drop before waving his hands to drag Luigi's attention back to him and, more importantly, back to earth.

"This is a Bowser we're talking about! You know, the guy who steals powerful magical objects! Leaves destruction and chaos in his wake?! Repeatedly Kidnaps Peach!?!"

Luigi placed his head in a hand and sighed dejectedly. "Yeah...but ya know what they a say. Nobody's perfect."

Mario stared at him in disbelief.

"Those are serious problems not harmless little quirks Luigi!"

His brother shrugged and looked away. "You a done? I've got a Koopa to woo."

"You're a gonna annoy him before 'wooing' him! Did you want him to a bite you with that last stunt?"

A weird look crossed his brother's face. "...do you really think he'd have bit me?"

"Yes??? You invaded his space and a bopped his nose."

Luigi nodded thoughtfully. "But. Do you think it would have been a hard bite like, I lose a my hand sorta bite or a soft enough to barely break skin?" Luigi's eyes lit up. "Oh! Maybe he would have pinned me down first and y'know. Threatened to eat me but not really?"

Mario stared at him in a mix of disbelief and horror. "Have you lost a your mind?!?!"

Luigi frowned and cupped his chin. "I don't know why I a said that." Mario breathed a quiet sigh of relief "This isn't the time or place for something like that."

"That's what you find wrong with what you just a said?!" Mario nearly screeched.

Luigi gave him a confused look "Ye? I haven't even gotten a kiss yet and I'm a ready to y'know. Jump ahead several-"

"Stop!" Mario slammed his hands over his ears. "I a don't want to hear. That Stuff. Ever. Please"

Luigi frowned and tilted his head. “Cuz I want to do that with Bowser or-?”

Mario couldn’t help the annoyed look he shot him. “You know how I a feel about. Y’know.”

Luigi nodded. “So me wanting to...kiss and uh. Maybe more with Bowser; that’s not a problem?”

Mario frowned as he took off a glove and placed a hand against his brother’s head. “I a just told you. That’s a Bowser. Terror of the Mushroom Kingdom? How did you just forget all a that???”

Luigi just shrugged and looked away.

Mario’s frown deepened. “You don’t a feel hot.” he muttered. So. This...probably wasn’t heatstroke…

His brother snorted and swatted his hand away. “Thank you Dr. Mario for the diagnoses. Can I go now?”

“To bother Bowser again? No.”

Luigi muttered something under his breath as he slumped in his chair like a moody teenager.

Mario couldn’t help pinching his nose at that. There was clearly something going on with his brother but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what.

If it wasn’t a heatstroke, then the only other thing he could think of was a concussion but people didn’t just. Get concussed standing around doing nothing.

“I’mma gonna get some help. Promise me you’ll stay here until I get back?”

Luigi just gave him a shrug but since he didn’t say anything crazy or flat out refusal to staying, Mario decided to take that as an agreement to stay put.

Smiling, Mario stepped forward to give his brother’s arm a quick pat. “Thanks Lu. I’ll be a right back.”

Fifteen minutes later, with Peach and Dr. Toadley in tow, Mario came back to an empty tent.

“He left.”

Peach gently rubbed his back. “Maybe...we just missed him?”

Mario took a deep breath. “Y-Yeah...maybe...he just a got tired of a waiting. He couldn’t have gotten too far.”

Peach gave him a warm smile. “Right. It shouldn’t take too long to find him again.”

Mario felt himself relaxing a little for the first time all afternoon. “Right.” he repeated back with a small laugh. “How much trouble can he get into in a couple minutes?”

"GET OFF OF ME ALREADY!"

If it wasn't for the fact it was Green ‘Stache of all people hanging off him, Bowser would almost be impressed at how well the guy was holding on despite how hard he was waving his arm.

Unless the guy had dumped a barrel of glue on himself first, Bowser could not figure out how the Green MENACE was doing it.

There was no way in Jaydees Greenie had enough upper body strength to have just one arm hold onto him while the other held his face cupped in his hand as he stared dreamily up at him

"I really don't weigh anything to you at all, do I?"

"NO!" He snarled at him. Wasn't Greenie supposed to be a coward or something? Why wasn't he bolting already?

Greenie sighed happily “Dio che è così fottutamente sexy. Ringrazio Dio ogni giorno la principessa non è interessata alla meraviglia assoluta che sei”

"What."

Greenie gave him a stupid looking smile. "Sorry. I a said, you're a so hot and thank GOD a certain princess isn't interested in the absolute wonder you are." He leaned forward, still grinning like an idiot. "I think I'd have lost it by now if a utter Dreamboat like you was off a the market."

Bowser froze as he felt his face heat up. "You uh. You think I'm a Dreamboat?"

"The dreamiest."

Bowser stared at the human in disbelief. Totally not because he was called ‘a dreamboat’. Cuz he was! He was the coolest and hottest guy around for miles!

...it was just a little weird that Greenie of all people would say that. Out loud. Cuz they were enemies.

Speaking of Greenie, the human had managed to climb up a little further up his arm, expression a weird mix of determination and...hunger?

“How about you and I take this conversation somewhere a lil more...private, tesoruccio?”

A weird, twisty feeling hit him at that.

Was. Was Greenie cursing him?

A totally not unsure ‘uh’ was the only thing he managed to get out before a red blur came out of nowhere and managed to knock the insane little human off his arm.

Bowser blinked at his now pest free appendage before focusing on the two humans wrestling on the grass.

“Bloccacazzi! I was a so close!”

“To what?! Getting your face bitten off?!”

Bowser frowned, a little insulted at Mario’s comment. Sure he enjoyed scaring the pants off of anyone and everyone that got in his way, but that didn’t mean he’d ever bite someone. Let alone one of Peaches’ subjects, no matter how weird they were acting.

“Bowser?”

Speak of the angel.

Turning away from the fighting brothers, Bowser grinned down at the hostess of the party. “Princess.”

Peach frowned slightly up at him. “You. Wouldn’t have anything to do with this, would you?”

Bowser blinked. “Do with wha-”

“DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST SHOCK ME?!”

Both royals turned at the shout and watched the two heroes spew random gibberish at each other.

“That.” Peach replied dryly.

Bowser huffed, offended. “Yeah. Cuz I totally planned on having Green ‘Stache over there work to distract me from working to maintain what few good relations I got with other kingdoms.”

Peach gave a small hum. “I see. That would be rather unbeneficial for you...I apologize for my assumptions, but I did have to ask as this seemed like one of your usual tricks.”

“Peaches I am offended and hurt you would think so lowly of me when I have been nothing but cor-”

A small yelp drew his attention back to the meddling plumbers and Bowser couldn’t help the small shudder that shook him at the sight of the Orange Terror currently holding Greenie in a headlock.

She must have smelled blood and come running.

“Looks like you got things under control now so I’ll just go and enjoy the rest of the party.”

Peach couldn’t help the small kick of amusement she got watching the great King of the Koopas practically bolt at the sight of Daisy.

She really would have to ask her friend how she’d managed to scare him so badly.

For now however, there was a bigger concern.

When Mario had told her Luigi was bound and determined to flirt with Bowser, she’d thought they might have been playing a prank on her to give her a small break from hosting.

But between seeing Luigi hanging off of Bowser and then watch the koopa leave the area with a longing look, Peach was convinced that this wasn’t a joke and found herself just as worried for her friend.

“Daisy? If you could come with us back to the castle?”

Daisy grinned and gave her a mock salute. “Sure thing boss.” She smirked as she bumped Luigi’s side. “Someone’s gotta keep Mister Love-Struck here in line.”

Luigi, for his part, just rolled his eyes at that but thankfully didn’t break away to go chase after Bowser again.

Thank the stars for Daisy.

“Mario, if you could get Dr. Toadley to the castle, that would be wonderful. We’ll meet you two in the parlor room.”

Mario frowned a little but nodded, and ran off to do just that.

Hopefully, whatever was affecting Luigi would be easily solvable.

“Is there anything physically wrong with him? No. Luigi appears to be perfectly fine.”

Mario frowned. “But he’s not! He’s been a chasing Bowser down all day and-”

Dr. Toadley raised a hand, stalling any more words from the human. “Do I dismiss your claims? No. Can I tell if one is magically affected mentally or not? Also no. Have I done all I can to help resolve this problem? Yes. I am afraid there is not more I can do without more information.”

Mario stared at the doctor for a moment before dragging a hand down his face. “Perché ho pensato che potevi aiutare.” he muttered quietly. Whatever he said, it earned a small snort from Luigi. Which meant it was probably something juicy or even the oh so rare ‘Mario Snark’.

One of these days, she was going to make Lou teach her some Italian. If only so she could witness his brother’s supposed not-so-heroic comments herself in real time and not after the fact.

“So since the doc can’t figure anything out, guess that means you’re back to square one, huh?”

Mario gave her a tired look. “As if there was even a ‘square’ to go back to.”

Daisy couldn’t help the dumbfounded look she shot him at that. “Really? You can’t think of anywhere you can start to figure out what’s up with your bro?”

Mario just looked at her blankly. Whether cuz he was just stressed and not thinking straight or he really was this clueless, she had no idea.

Daisy sighed. “When did he start acting goofy for koopas?”

“HEY!”

“We were standing by one of the pop-up fences and then a something stung him and then he got all a...kooky.”

Daisy nodded as she very pointedly ignored Luigi’s protests at being talked around like he wasn’t even there.

“Did ya look around the area for anything weird?”

Mario tipped his head slightly. “Like what?”

“I dunno! Somethin that could be a possible explanation! Ya’know what they say, if you can’t figure something out, it’s always a good idea to retrace your steps.”

Mario frowned, apparently still not convinced by Daisy’s suggestion. Peach, bless her, stepped closer to her hero. “It couldn’t hurt to look around. Maybe we’ll find something, maybe we won’t. But at least it’d be another thing crossed off possible explanations.” Peach smiled brightly as an idea hit her. “We could even ask Kamek to help since Bowser seems to be Luigi’s focus.”

Mario sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “Okay. I’mma not sure if we’ll a find anything, but like you said, it’s a lead. Kinda.”

“Cool. You two do that, and I’ll keep Lou entertained. Seeyouguyswhenyoufigureitoutbyyyyyyyyye.”

After basically slamming the doors shut after pushing them out, Daisy turned to Luigi and grinned.

“Alright Weeg, Spill.”

Luigi took a startled step back. “Spill?”

“Yeah. Is this, like. Liquid courage or somethin? Ya can be honest.”

Luigi stared at her for a moment before giving her maybe the widest grin she’d ever seen on the guy. “Yep! That’s a it! Liquid courage!”

Daisy nodded. “Thought so. Though, I gotta ask, how much did you drink to get the confidence to actually jump the guy like that?”

Luigi shrugged as he slowly inched his way around her. “Oh y’know. Enough. I uh. Forgot but I still feel a good to go and not sick at all.”

Daisy smirked. “Sure you are champ. Listen, I’ll hold down the fort for ya to try one more time. But ya gotta promise me you’ll tell Mario about this later. Poor guy’s gonna have a heart attack soon.”

Luigi gave a quick nod. “Certa certa. Remind me to make you the maid a honor at the wedding.” Still grinning wildly, Luigi basically bolted out of the room.

Daisy couldn’t help feeling a little weird at that comment. She knew her friend had it bad for the koopa, but it seemed a little early for him to be thinking about wedding bells, even with some alcohol in his system.

...it was probably nothing. If anything, it was just Mario’s worries getting to her.

Luigi would be fine. He was a smart guy and even with a little liquid courage helping him out, it wouldn't be in him to do anything too drastic.

He was nearing the end of a conversation with the ruler of the Wooded Kingdom when he felt himself being watched.

Looking around, Bowser caught sight of a very familiar shade of green. Holding back a growl, Bowser quickly excused himself and stomped over to the human.

“What.”

Greenie smiled brightly up at him. “Can’t I watch a skilled diplomat at work?”

Bowser blinked, not used to someone calling him diplomatic. “I guess….but weren’t you climbing up my arm not that long ago? Why aren’t you doing that again?”

Greenie’s eyes lit up as he leaned forward a little. “Would you like me to?”

“What? NO!” Bowser yelped as he pushed the guy away with his hand. “What is with you today?”

With more strength than he thought the human had in him, Greenie gently moved his hand away.

“Weell.” he hummed. “It a hit me earlier just how perfect and handsome you are and how life can be so unfairly short and if I’m not a spending mine with you. amore mio, then what am I a doing with my life?”

Bowser couldn’t help staring wide-eyed at the human, absolutely dumbfounded.

“Are you serious?”

“More than I’ve ever a been in my life.”

Green ‘Stache stepped forward even more, eyes half lidded and mouth twisted up in a cocky smirk.

It was. Weirdly hot of the guy.

"Aaand," he drawled, slowly drawing closer, hand moving to press against his chest. "I a don’t mind a little spice in a relationship. You could always give kidnapping me a shot. I definitely wouldn't mind it, Roba Cab-" Greenie's face twitched.

The confident smirk fell into a small frown as the human's eyes opened more fully before locking onto his hand which had yep; made it to his chest.

Bowser could practically see the gears turning in the guy's head.

"Oh. Oh no." Greenie whispered before dropping his hand like it'd been burned. Which, rude.

The human slowly looked up at Bowser, eyes wide and face redder than his brother's stupid hat.

“Dio mio. I. Quello era reale. Merda. Merda. S-Sorry. I need to go."

Before he could say anything or even shake the guy to repeat whatever gibberish he'd just said but into something understandable this time, Greenie had taken several steps back and bolted towards Peach's castle.

"WEEGEE WAIT!"

Bowser blinked as he watched the biggest pain in his tail run off after the other human.

(When had Mario shown up?)

"What. Just happened?"

"If I had to wager I guess, your Baffledness, it seems your children snuck some weapon prototypes out with them before coming with."

Bowser glanced down at his adviser. Had. Mario dragged him over with him while Greenie was distracting him?

“What’s that got to do with Green ‘Stache?”

Kamek fiddled with his glasses a little. “Well sire; one of the prototypes was a. Love Arrow. Designed to make whoever it hit fall in love with the first person they saw. We were thinking we could try it during the next-”

“You think Greenie got hit by that then?”

“Definitely sire. It would explain his behavior today not to mention the tip of the arrow shows signs of hitting a target. Usually, the heart shaped bulb at the end would be a vibrant pink. After making contact with the mark, the pink fades considerably. And the prototype I found appears to have been used.”

Bowser felt his heart sink a little at the news that all of the human’s actions and words had been a manufactured trick. By his own magikoopas’ talents no less.

He didn’t even know why he was disappointed.

He didn’t even like Greenie. Never had and never would.

But...he couldn’t deny it had been kind of nice to be the recipient of such intense, positive feelings for once.

“Kamek.” He sighed heavily. “I want all production on those arrows scrapped.”

“But-”

Bowser glared at the old koopa, blowing smoke at him. “Scrapped and destroyed. If one of those things can turn Mario’s scaredy-cat brother into a wannabe cassanova, then who’s to say Mario couldn’t throw one of those dumb arrows at me during a fight and and make me fall in love with a stupid lamp instead of Peach?!”

“They wouldn’t work like tha-”

“Destroy. Them. Kamek. All of them.”

Kamek sighed. “As you wish, your Paranoidness.”

“And find the kids and take them back to the ship. I’ll talk to them after this dumb party’s finally over.

Kamek nodded before summoning his broom and flying off to do just that.

Sighing, Bowser made his way towards the lil garden bar Peach had set up for this party.

He’d go back to mingling with stuffy representatives from the more neutral kingdoms before Greenie had gotten it into his head to chase him down every five minutes later. For now, he could use a drink or two.

About fifteen minutes into enjoying his first cup by his lonesome, Bowser watched the green human approach the same garden bar, order a drink and then make his way determinedly towards him.

Bowser couldn’t help stare down at him in surprise that he’d even approach him after that whole. Mess from earlier. Especially as he’d run away all on his own after the third run-in.

“What do you want now, Greenie?” he couldn’t help grumble tiredly. Stars willing, it would just be an apology or something dumb like that and the slightly less annoying twin could go off on his merry way and leave him alone.

Green ‘Stache took a deep breath before looking up at him. "...you never did answer my question."

"Question?" He repeated dumbly.

Greenie gave a small smile as he gaze drifted down to his drink.

"If you. If you like humans or just princesses. I want to know. If I. If I have a shot."

Then, almost as if he was embarrassed by what he'd just said, Greenie downed the entirety of his drink in one go.

Grambi. That love potion junk better not still be in the guy's system.

"Listen. I get you're still muddled up thanks to that arr-"

"I'm not."

Bowser blinked at the unexpectedly sharp tone.

Greenie groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

"I won't lie and say getting hit by that stupid trinket didn't have an affect on me. It did. But." he bit his lip. "I don't. I don't think it had quite the...intended effect it was planned for."

Bowser frowned as he leaned down towards the plumber, not missing how the human's face reddened as he did so.

"Oh? And why's that?"

Luigi's eyes met his for a second before darting away again. "Well. You weren't. You weren't the first person I saw after getting hit."

Bowser reeled back, stunned.

"Not the-? Who the hell did you look at first?!" and why the hell weren't you chasing after them all day?

Impossibly, Greenie got redder. "P-Peach..." he muttered.

Bowser felt his jaw drop. "Peach." he repeated flatly.

Frustratingly, Greenie still wouldn't meet his eyes. "Mmhm."

"Why didn't you go after her then?" That at least would have been kind of amusing to watch instead of being part of the whole mess.

"I've got a couple of theories."

And then just to be annoying, now Greenie decided to shut up and keep his thoughts to himself.

Blowing some smoke from his snout, Bowser crossed his arms and stood at his full height, towering over the human. "Well?"

Greenie turned back towards him, eyes roving over him, almost as if he was trying to memorize as much of Bowser as he could before focusing on his face.

"Answer my question first."

A low growl escaped him but, to his surprise, Greenie didn't falter or back down. Instead, he held his ground and even maintained the stubborn look he was throwing him.

Bowser relaxed a little and shot the (slightly) less annoying menace a small smile. He could appreciate the rare show of backbone from the lil punk.

"Fine. I don't just like princesses. I like interesting humans."

Greenie's eyes widened for a half a second before his expression fell and he turned to stare at his empty cup.

Bowser gave an annoyed huff and lightly pushed the human (not hard enough to knock him down, mind you, but just enough to make him stumble a little).

"I'm including you in my list of 'interesting humans' Greenie."

Greenie slowly looked back up at him, huge blue eyes nearly drowning out the red in his face. It was almost cute.

"R-Really?"

Bowser rolled his eye. "Grambi yes. Don't make me take it back."

Greenie smiled softly as he stared at his stupid empty cup again. Bowser swore, if he looked at that thing one more time instead of at him, he was going to rip it out of the human's hands and chuck it halfway across the mushroom kingdom.

"Well?"

Greenie looked up at him. "...well what?"

A bit of smoke escaped him at that. Humans. Cute to look at but stars could they be annoyingly stupid sometimes.

"Why do you think the arrow didn't work?"

Luigi's eyes widened. "Oh. Right. That." He took a deep breath as he tightly gripped the cup.

"Well. Firstly. I'm...gay. So me chasing after and flirting with Peach would have been. Very mortifying. I think I'd have packed up and moved the second the arrow's effects wore off." A strained laugh escaped him. "Or died. Whatever got me out of the party faster."

"Huh."

Luigi shrugged and looked away again, this time Bowser couldn't help noting that the human's ears were about as red as his face.

"Secondly...I...erm. May have uh. Already liked you before all this happened today."

Bowser felt his eyebrows raise as he stared at the human in disbelief.

"You like me?"

Greenie shrugged again, this time a hint of annoyance bleeding into his voice. "Well yeah. I didn't spout all that. Y'know out of thin air today. It's. Been building for...awhile I guess."

"...huh. So. If I'd used that arrow on Peach..."

Greenie snorted and shot him a quite frankly, surprisingly devious smirk. "She'd probably chase Mario around the castle for a couple hours."

Bowser stepped back and tried to imagine that.

Having Peach in his clutches and having the arrow touch her only for her to break free and go after Mario. And that was only if he did that in her castle.

If he'd try that in his, would she break his home apart brick by brick to get back to the stupid red plumber before he could even 'rescue' her?

It...was almost a silly thing to imagine but if Luigi's actions and attempts to be near him while under the arrow's magical influence were anything to go by, then there was probably nothing Peach wouldn't do to be with her hero.

"...Huh."

"Thank Grambi today happened huh?"

Bowser snapped out of his imaginings and stared down at the plumber.

"Don't tell me you're happy about getting suped up on a love potion?!"

Greenie shrugged and looked away. "I wouldn't say...happy. Exactly. Coming down from that wasn't great...and I did and said stuff I'm not exactly proud of...but. Statistically it could have been worse."

Bowser couldn't help raising a brow at that.

"How could any of that been worse?"

"Well. The arrow could have hit Mario and well." Luigi grimaced. "Trust me when I say the less said about that the better."

"What, does he have a crush on me too?"

Bowser howled at the withering glare Luigi shot him at that.

"I'm joking." He wheezed between laughs. "I know that menace you call a brother only has eyes for Peach."

Luigi's mouth tightened slightly at that, causing Bowser to do a double take.

"Wait, don't tell me Peach isn't the only person he makes goo-goo eyes at?!"

"She is. He's never had it this bad for anyone before."

"...so what would be the problem?"

Luigi bit his lip. "...nothing really...it'd just. Be really embarrassing to watch..."

Bowser tilted his head. "How embarrassing?" Maybe the dumb love arrow wouldn't be a complete waste if he could use it to make Mario look like an idiot.

As if he could read his thoughts, Luigi's glare darkened. If looks could kill, Bowser was pretty sure he'd be a Dry Bones right now

Pretty impressive of the green human to pull off that strong of a death glare to be honest.

"Don't."

Bowser raised a hand and scoffed. "Yeah yeah sure whatever. Those things are more trouble than they’re worth using."

Greenie's expression lightened considerably at that. "Gratzi"

“So. Didja just come over to ask a question or were you hoping for somethin else?

Luigi looked down at the cup and fiddled with it a little. “...that’s. Kind of up to you, isn’t it?”

“...wha-?”

“I mean.” a small laugh escaped Greenie “I think whatever else the day’s been, I was a pretty clear on what I want. E-Even if it wasn’t uh. Exactly the way I’d wanted it to go.”

Bowser placed a claw under Luigi’s chin and turned his face towards him.

“Yeah? And how exactly did you want it to go?”

Greenie didn’t answer, brain probably too fried to respond as his gaze locked onto Bowser’s snout.

Bowser couldn’t help snorting at that. “You’re a weird lil human. Do you know that?” He leaned down even closer. “At least you’ve got good taste.” he purred before kissing the last person he thought he would when he’d gotten up this morning.

Whatever he’d thought about the guy, one thing was for sure. Luigi was a damn good kisser.

The guy practically melted against him as he finally dropped that stupid cup in his attempts to get closer.

He found he didn’t even mind that it was a soft sort of kiss as they slowly understood each others mouths and how they fit together.

It was nice.

Kissing Luigi was nice.

Pulling away so the human could get some air, Bowser gave Greenie a smug grin.

“How was that?”

Luigi hummed. “I’ve had better.”

Bowser stared down at the little human, gobsmacked. “Had bett-I’M THE KING OF THE KOOPAS! HOW HAVE YOU HAD BETTER?! I’M THE BEST KISSER IN ANY KINGDOM EVE-”

He froze at the mischievous look in the human’s eye before leaning down close enough that the little punk would feel his warm breath.

“Are you playing with me?”

“Playing? I would never.” Some of his earlier bluster seemed to be leaving him, but, to his credit, his voice stayed steady. “I just thought, I could use a few more kisses to uh. Really know for a sure that I’m a getting the best one. From you.”

Bowser stared at him for another second or two before letting out a soft, rumbling laugh. Oh, Green ‘Stache was devious under those big blue eyes and timid nature.

Tail wagging slowly, Bowser gave him a toothy smile. “In that case, we better get back to it then.” he purred, pleased to see Luigi’s response was an eager nod before reaching forward himself, small hands cupping the sides of his snout as he kissed him hard this time round.

Another low purr escaped him at the action.

Today may have been a mess, but at least it hadn’t been a total wash.

#my fics #super mario #bowser #luigi #mario #i don't think i'll ever be happy with the middle but it's been almost two months

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