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slvtforfiction · 6 months

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Truth or drink (pt.2!)

☆ Colby X reader ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ Suggestive (No smut) ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ Masterlist

☆ Part 1

☆ A like,reblog and comment is always appreciated:) ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

☆ Cw: alcohol obvs (idc what u say tequila rose is banging,fight me)

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I’ve lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D (Please look at pinned post to see if requests are open.)

Colby 🖤:

Hey doll,you wanna do drink or truth again? Like a part 2 but just us?

You:

Yeah sure,am I gonna get embarrassed again?

Colby 🖤:

Welp we both are so does it matterrr?

You:

Oh god tell me some of the questions then 🤦‍♀️

Colby 🖤:

Maybe some about kinks and maybe something about some other stuff :)

You:

Yay I’m so excited this is going to make me want to really do more videos with you!

Colby 🖤:

Laying on the sarcasm pretty thick

You:

If your asking if I care,I don’t :)

Colby 🖤:

Love you’re always sarcastic,I’ll see you down here in 10 hm?

You:

Okay,omw x

Colby 🖤:

Good girl,see you soon x

I blushed leaving him on read as I changed my top to a red and black crop top he had gotten me and some black ripped jeans that I got on a shopping trip with him along with some fishnets below them to spice it up.

I walked upstairs to his apartment which was right above mine and knocked his door waiting patiently for an answer.

He quickly answered and I saw the living room already set up with a tripod,camera,2 shot glasses,tequila rose for me and Smirnoff vodka for him.

“Oo my favourite!” I smiled as I realised he had remembered my favourite alcoholic drink.

“Yeah ofcourse.” He said smiling clearly knowing i would say yes to the video idea by the already prepared drinks.

He finished the intro and grabbed his phone reading out the first question, “Why do you not talk to the last person you “did the dirty” with?” And I looked at him,looked at the shot glass and poured myself a shot downing it immediately.

“I still speak to the person I last slept with so,” I shrugged,not wanting to actually admit on camera that Colby and me were dating and therefore he was my last.

“Same but I don’t think they want to be public so I’m drinking.” He said before taking a shot and smiling at me.

I always seemed to find comfort in his smile no matter what he was smiling at or who he was smiling at,although I thought it was a much better feeling when he was smiling at me.

“What is your favourite activity with your significant other?” He asked as he looked at me softly,his gaze mesmerising.

“I like just laying on the sofa with them and cuddling,it’s the little things you know what I mean?” I smiled back as he looked at the camera clapping his hands together.

“I don’t really know I think just their presence in anything I do is really special to me,I just like everything I do with them.” He said smiling softly and I smiled,blush running to my cheeks.

I knew after this video I was ready,ready to go on twitter and scream and rave about him being my boyfriend as long as Colby didn’t mind.

“Name 2 non-vanilla kinks you have.” He said smiling at me before he saw me pick up my drink,watching his smirk fall of his face.

“You know what? If you answer I’ll answer.” I said laughing putting my drink down. “Oh god Uhm okay.” He said laughing nervously clearly not expecting that.

“Can we say ones we said in the last truth or drink video?” I asked and he shook his head. “Nah that’s boring and also you can’t anyways because you said vanilla kinks.” He said smiling at me.

“Okay you say yours then and I’ll say mine I guess.” I said laughing nervously and he looked me dead in the eyes before leaning back on the sofa and putting his hands behind his head,kissing his teeth.

“Okay um,I’m nervous now.” He said laughing before kissing his teeth again and answering “okay um I like tying up my partner and I mean if a girls gonna call me daddy she’s gonna call me daddy.” He said and I giggled to myself.

“I didn’t actually think you would answer.” I whined not wanting to answer. “Well come on you have to answer now.” He said laughing at my embarrassment and im sure by now he had figured out my humiliation kink although I wouldn’t have said that anyways.

“Okay uh I have a size kink and I really like hickeys and stuff so I guess marking?” I laughed nervously as I realised my boyfriend was the one sat next to me probably making mental notes to himself.

Colby cracked up laughing as he clapped his hands together trying to make sure I knew that he was going to use this against me and honestly I was definitely wanting him to tie me up after this video.

We soon moved on and after about an hour of filming we got to our last question, “What’s one thing you dislike about me?” He asked and I shuffled closer to him to whisper in his ear.

“That you haven’t tied me up underneath you yet.” I then turned round and grabbed my drink,pouring myself another shot,at this point I had had about 10 shots,so what’s another one?

I downed my drink and he quickly downed his before ending the video.

“Don’t say shit like that to me whilst filming.” He said,I smiled and turned around from the fridge after grabbing myself a bottle of water.

“Hm I’ll think about it.” I said and he continued to walk up to me,cornering his hands around my waist against the counter top.

“Do you want to be tied up like a little slut?” He asked “Is that what you want hm?” And I smiled at him whilst he remained silent and faking his anger.

“Maybe it is..daddy.” I whispered in his ear before kissing down his neck,he picked me up by the waist and carried me upstairs.

“Wanna cuddle up on the sofa,beautiful?” He asked softly raking his hand through my hair as I laid my head on chest.

“No,wanna stay here.” I mumbled half asleep and fully naked still lying on his chest.

He had his boxers on and got up quickly leaving me on the bed barely able to move.

“Come back Colbs.” I whispered and he smiled, “I will im just going to get you a shirt,okay?” He asked and I smiled sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

“Can we be public? Like us?” I asked quietly scared to even suggest it “Yeah sure,I’d like that.” He smiled looking back at me.

“I’ll post it on twitter tomorrow morning if you still want to yeah?” He asked and I whispered an ‘okay’.

His lights remained off,his LEDS being the source of red light throughout the room and I smiled bashfully again as he lifted up an arm and then another putting me in his xplr shirt.

The room still smelt of sex and my wrists still had marks which Colby would religiously kiss for the next few days.

“Love you Colbs.” I said before falling asleep with an arm wrapped around me and another still taking through my hair.

“I love you too sweetheart.” I heard him whisper before dozing off.

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ashleyh713fanfics · 2 months

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Dazai X Odasaku!Sister CH13

Chapter 13: "Celebrating Life Is Stupid”

Summary: After reuniting and growing closer, Dazai and Oda’s sister truly realize the value of each other and the sad bandaged boy falls deeper into the dangerous fascination and infatuation that is Odasaku’s little sister.

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old Dazai, pm! sixteen year old chuuya, ginger is very angry, Suicide mentions, guns, manipulation on both sides, Odasaku death mentions, Dazai being a Simp, Dazai being the demon prodigy but also baby at the same time.

(This is chapter thirteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro (Broken up because the first ch is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 6k total

—-

Tapping his feet in already brewing annoyance, Chuuya pushed his phone closer to his ear as each ear grating ring pissed him off by the second. And honestly, by the third one he debated throwing the entire object into the wall next to him in a fit of frustration.

He knew that little mackerel was doing this on purpose, sending his calls to voicemail over and over again. That guy never had anything notable going on and he knew the boss was gonna have his ass if he didn’t get in contact with that little shit.

But fortunately, or rather unfortunately for him, the line picked up on the fifth ring only to hear that same happy go lucky, irritating sing-song tone he alway seemed to use.

He hated that sound more than anything, mostly because the ginger he was about to be made fun of. “Oh Chuuuuuya, what an impatient little dog you are, blowing up my phone like this. Can't get enough of me I see.”

Gritting his teeth to hold his outburst, Chuuya simply scoffed. “Shut up, it's your own damn fault for not picking up. I know you are doing it on purpose, you shitty little mackerel.”

The voice on the other hands only hummed though, obviously unbothered. “So rude, Chuuuya, assuming such things. I am actually very busy right now. Which is why your interruption is way less pleasant than usual. And that’s saying something, considering your presence is never pleasant.”

Chuuya knew better though. “Bullshit, you’re never busy. You’re probably just fucking around somewhere.”

Just then, he heard a fake ass gasp on the side of the phone only for Dazai to answer straightforwardly. “If you call “fucking around” me currently pinning down a beautiful woman then I suppose you're right about that. Isn’t that right, love?”

Almost immediately, the ginger felt bile work its way into his throat, shoving the feeling down before shouting back roughly. “Ah, you’re so fucking disgusting! I don’t wanna know about that shit.”

Oh my god, why did he have to bring up that kind of stuff?! The last thing he wanted to do was picture shitty stupid Dazai like that, especially with some nonamed whore or brain dead manipulated bitch.

That poor soul that was with him right now, the one Dazai just called love, he pitied her, whoever she was.

Forcing the idea from his mind, Chuuya then shook his head before adding. “Listen, the boss gave us another mission in a couple days and I wanna make sure you don’t try to ditch again or else I’m gonna kill you for real, got that?!”

He knew the kid’s pattern after all, Chuuya knew how flighty and unreliable that stupid mackerel really was and he wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to get dragged into that again. The first time he flaked was bad enough.

But as expected, Dazai didn’t sound serious, he didn’t even sound remotely interested in his threats as the boy simply waved the question away. “Don’t worry slug, I’ll be there. Can’t have my dog getting lonely, now can I?”

At that name, Chuuya felt his anger spike, the boy unable to stop his outburst. What was his damn problem?! “You fuckin…I’m not a dog!!’

Dazai’s voice only came back confused though, his voice just as annoying, cheerful and mocking as usual. “How strange, all I can hear is woof woof woof so I’m gonna hang up now! See ya, Chibi.”

And just like that, the line turned dead, causing the ginger’s eye to twitch before tightening his hold on his phone before giving into the impulse and throwing the object against the wall next to him.

Watching the phone shatter to prices before his eyes, Chuuya then shook his head before grumbling out his frustrations to absolutely no one.

“I’m gonna kill him..”

——-

Closing his flip phone absentmindedly, Dazai simply smiled to himself before placing the object back into his pants pocket only to hear the voice underneath him speak out hopefully. “Was that Chuuya?”

The boy only shook his head though, pushing his foot further into the speakers chest in order to shove his enemy further into the ground roughly. “Don’t sound so happy about it. That slug shouldn’t gain such a reaction.”

His opponent only put her hands out in defense though, turning her head curiously to the side with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

Dazai expected that kind of response though, his eyes moving up in order to glance around the familiar port mafia owned warehouse that they had spent the last hour or so before she spoke again.

And this time, it was far more pushy than before. “Sooo, what did he say?”

Already feeling his lips twist into a bitter smirk, Dazai’s foot then pushed deeper into her chest, exulting double the amount of force in order for her to stop speaking. “Those aren’t the kinds of things you should be worried about, Asa-chan, considering the position you're in right now..”

Which was something that Asagao seemed to be missing in her tiny little brain considering he was currently pinning her down to the dirty and dusty warehouse floor by his foot. He clearly had the upper hand here so there was no reason for her to speak so casually.

That, and the fact that she was asking about Chuuya of all people in this sort of dangerous position caused Dazai’s sick and twisted port mafia heart to darken with malice. He was the one she was supposed to be focusing on, not that glorified hat rack.

She was at the mercy of the demon prodigy and she was acting like they were talking about the weather. He wanted her to regret ever asking about that hat rack in the first place, to apologize between his fingers for not taking his presence seriously and speaking of another so foolishly.

Then to prove his point, the boy reached into his pocket before taking out his gun in order to point the barrel straight at her head with silent warning.

It was a move that would make any one shutter and cower immediately. In fact, it was something he used a million times before to intimate each and everyone of his enemies.

But he had already learned that Asagao didn’t play by the rules of his other opponents.

Turning her head in confusion, the girl simply looked at the foot that was constricting her breathing before returning to the demon with a gentle smile of unbothered idiocy. “Oh, I’m not worried.”

And for a moment, Dazai paused, playing her game. “And why’s that, love?”

He wanted to see what she’d say, how she would justify her calm and collected behavior even though she was staring down the barrel of his gun. Yes, Asagao had outwardly said that she wasn’t afraid of dying by his hand but she wasn’t even trying to get out of it.

And he knew she could, he knew that the hellhound could fight back him if she so chose, so the fact that she was allowing Dazai to pin her down like this was interesting to say the least.

This girl, she was seconds from death and still her eyes held not one bit of urgency.

A moment later, Asagao spoke, her voice full of nostalgic memory as she reached forward in order to pull the barrel closer to her chest. “Because this is how we met, remember?”

Almost immediately, Dazai’s mind seemed to snap back to their first encounter almost an entire year ago. Huh, she was right. They had been in this position before, hadn’t they?

Back when the boy was drowning in his grief, back when he found an intruder in his friend's old place and threatened them in the same exact manner.

If only he knew how utterly life changing that little meeting had been, what kind of storm erupted from the moment he tore that hoodie off her head and looked into her Odasaku eyes.

And it was the same now, the boy looking down at her glasses free expression in order to catalog and trace the iris silently to himself. He seemed to do that a lot lately, getting lost in the emptiness as it swallowed him whole each and every time.

He was grateful for it also, knowing that the dullness of her eyes was way more welcoming then the darkness of his own soul, that by having her here he had switched the method of his demise.

Yes, drowning in Asagao was much more tolerant than drowning in his grief.

A sweeter way to die indeed, a more pleasant experience than what he ever deserved, and yet Dazai couldn’t stop himself from staring even so.

So much so, Dazai felt his lips twist upwards in familiar memory before his finger carefully cocked the gun with a dark chuckle. “Oops. You’re right, how silly of me. Let’s continue where we left off then, hmm?”

Then without a second thought, the executive pulled the trigger as a loud shot echoed through the warehouse. And most people would’ve been horrified by such a reaction, they would have regretted aiming at something he just so clearly said that he admired.

But you see, Dazai didn’t underestimate his girlfriend, not one bit.

Casually putting his hand down on his side, the mafioso then smirked to himself before turning around only to find his enemy a couple feet away, her hands on her hips. “Damn, you really tried to shoot me. I’m surprised and a little impressed, demon prodigy.”

Dazai only shrugged his shoulders though, unbothered. “Well, you told me to look at you as a threat, did you not, Asa-chan?”

It was conversation that was very prevalent in his mind, even today. Sure, the boy should’ve taken their fights easy, he should’ve sparred in a way that made sure Oda’s sister was safe but that wasn’t his style, and neither was hers.

No, Dazai treated her like a real threat, just like she deserved, he trusted that she was smart enough to anticipate his moves and counteract, like just right now.

And the fact that she had done just that also proved his theory that she could’ve gotten out his hold at any time.

What a sneaky shady little hellhound she was. He was onto her big time.

Then as if to prove his internal analysis, he watched Asagao’s face twist into that same twisted, psychotic and giddy smile that enticed him time and time again before watching her fingers twitch in unkept adrenaline just by that simple phrase.

And Dazai would never understand the power his acknowledgment had on her. That just by giving her his entire strength she was already antsy to match it. The hellhound training that had been embedded into her since she was a child, it coated and clouded every other single thought in her brain.

Pushing her fingers up to the ponytail that held her unruly crimson mane in place, Asagao then chuckled darkly before practically ripping the restraint in order to let her hair free.

And with that simple move, she had also ripped down the chains that held the monstrous creature beneath the surface, unafraid of the response it would give. “Oh Samu, you know just how to rile a girl up, don’t you? You’re right about that one, I am a threat. Now allow me to live up to your potential of me and show you how..”

And Dazai loved it, he loved that crazed beast-like look more than anything, his stance grounding itself immediately only to find that his enemy had disappeared in front of his eyes. Ah, she was using her time stopping ability. How cute.

Turning the safety off his gun, the boy then narrowed his eyes before sensing a change of wind to the right in order to let off three more shots just as Asagao reappeared millimeters from his face.

She seemed to register the bullets just in time, her body rolling to the ground in order to just miss the dangerous attacks as Dazai smirked in admiration.

And let’s be honest, should he have been pointing that gun at her like this? No. Should he have been directing his shots with the intent to kill. Also no. It was insanely risky and if she was even second too late then he would have the blood of another Oda on his hands.

Which was something the boy wrestled with internally but it seemed like his port mafia blood craved the opposite, to see just what amazing and enticing ways she could get out each deadly situation he threw at her.

And that desire, that allure was stronger than his fear to keep her locked away forever. No, she had a power, and it was too enticing to ignore, especially for the twisted mafioso who was looking for something entertaining.

He was then taken out of his thoughts as a rough hand wrapped around the barrel of his gun in order to pull it forward without fear as Asagao smirked in victory.

It didn’t matter that the chamber was loaded, it didn’t matter that his fingers were on the trigger and any slight movement could cause the end of her life.

Asa’s grip remained firm, her leg barreling into his side in order for Dazai's muscles to jump and his finger to loosen from the trigger just as she pulled it into her line of sight.

And once the cool metal was in her hands, Dazai wondered what she’d do with it, his senses on high alert only to watch the girl simply empty out the chamber of bullets with one hand, the quiet clinking of metal catching his attention immediately.

How dare she, she had the shot and didn’t take it.

Unsatisfied by her actions, the mafioso then darkened before the boy predicted her next strike in order to grab onto her fist roughly and twist it unnaturally behind her back with a huff.

No, she needed to know that she wasn’t as sly as she thought. That he was onto her little game. “Since you’re all riled up, does that mean you’ll stop holding back now too?”

He wondered how she would react to that, if she would lie about his little discovery or own up to her hypocrisy wholeheartedly? Either could be possible, considering she hadn’t disclosed to him outwardly about her watered down battles.

Asagao told him herself back in Bar Lupin that she was a prodigy just like him, that she could murder like a high level assassin and kill with the quickest of hands.

But if that was true then why hadn’t she tried that with him yet? Why hadn’t Asa displayed intent to kill with Dazai if she was so strongly in favor for believable fights?

It didn’t make sense, and he wanted to know why.

And for a moment, she felt her body still underneath his rough touch, as if she really had to think about his words. He seemed to have broken into something personal for her.

Interesting, she wasn’t denying it. But hold on, was she saying that he couldn’t handle her full hellhound side? That he was some kind of fragile little boy who wouldn't stand a chance? Did she forget that he was in the mafia, the youngest executive in the history of the organization?

She didn’t need to worry about such a thing, besides if that was the result Dazai knew he wouldn’t have opposed. So instead, he coaxed her some more. “Come on, Asa-channn. You’re no fair. I wanna die, remember?”

But even still, Asagao didn’t seem convinced, her body unmoving and eyes closing before he felt her physically shiver underneath his touch, almost like she was reliving some kind of unpleasant memory.

Something scared her, enough to cause such a visceral reaction.

Then Dazai watched as Asagao’s head slumped down into herself, her voice strained and bitter, a tone that the boy had never heard from her before. “I don’t kill anymore, I don’t want to be that person again..

Those words, they felt big, like a massive weight had just fallen on both of their shoulders. But why? What did they mean? What kind of person was she when she killed? What was she like when she truly allowed the hellhound side to fully overtake her? He wanted to ask her.

Yet before he could process that sentence, Asa used his apprehension in order to kick his shin and shift her body around, grabbing onto his forearm before flipping the skinny thin boy backwards over her shoulder.

Feeling his body slam against the ground, the girl then moved on top of him, reversing their previous position with a wave of her finger. “Besides that would be a pretty painful way to go, don’t you think?.”

His entire head began to spin instantly, both from the hit and from her change in attitude. Now she was happy, playful and just as carefree as before. There was no sign of that bitter suffocation that he had heard at all.

Which meant only one thing, she was covering it up.

But to be completely honest, every single thought he had seemed to drown out completely as he looked up at the towering force above him.

Her long messy hair was blanketed over her, shielding the two of them in a cave of her own design as she stared down with that same alluring dead eyed stare that he had admired before.

And not only that, the dim, dingy warehouse lights behind her seemed to melt around her head, bathing her in an ethereal light of some kind, something that made the boy’s heart flip unexpectedly and without warning.

God, she looked like an angel like this, so perfect, so heavenly.

Yet whether she resembled an angel of life or death was to be decided. Perhaps this was a sign from some unknown force, telling him that Oda Asagao would either be the beginning or the end of him.

Perhaps she would be the last thing he would see before leaving this world peacefully or perhaps she would carry him to the afterlife and into the pits of hell with her siren song and her dangerous words. He didn’t know.

He was playing with fire after all, selfish by staying by her side even though he shouldn’t have been allowed to. He was clouding her white light, binding her wings and making her fall to meet his level just because he couldn’t bear to be lonely.

How cruel he truly was, to not have the heart to set her free. It was too late now, the demon and the fallen angel, their fates had been sealed whether he liked it or not.

Reaching his fingers up, Dazai then ghosted across a strand of her falling hair before turning his head in curiosity. “Touché. Well, since you know so much let me ask you, love. What do you think is the most beautiful way to die?”

He wanted to know her answer, more than anyone before. Because he knew that she would answer honestly. She wouldn’t brush it off or disregard the meaning like everyone else.

Dying was a touchy subject it seemed, because although the boy craved it more than anything, it seemed whenever he brought up his little sad goal, no one ever gave him the answer he was looking for.

He didn’t want to be comforted or to hear that there was no beautiful way of death. No, he wanted perspective, real and true perspective. To see what constituted beauty for others, what that meant in terms of what he was searching for.

Because as much as he wished for peace and beauty in death, the boy didn’t know exactly what that meant. How strange it always was, searching for something so desperately even though he didn’t know the true extent of the meaning.

Waiting with bated breath, Dazai allowed her to silently think before the girl put a finger with a quiet and pensive hum. ““Hmmm, that’s a tough one..”

Then she closed her eyes before her lips curved into a confident beam of light. “I guess I would have to say a lovers suicide!”

And that light was blinding, mixing in with the makeshift halo behind her in order for Dazai to turn his head in confusion.He had never thought about that before. Hell, he didn’t even know the term. How curious. “Lovers suicide?”

Nodding to herself, Asa then lifted her pinky finger out in explanation. “Yeah, like a double suicide, you know? Because even if you deemed that the world was awful, you would still have to admit that there was at least one person that made the experience worth it, enough to want to follow them all the way to the afterlife.”

Then to prove her point, the girl simply reached down before interlocked Dazai’s pinky finger with her own, a small smile of her lips as the boy gazed at the sight in awestruck wonder.

Of course she would say something like that. Only Asagao could answer a question about death so hopefully and tragically captivating. Her desire to see the good, to twist the narrative into a positive one, they were extremely prevalent here.

But for once, Dazai didn’t mind it, he liked the idea of having someone to die with. The thought had never crossed his mind before, to have someone to treasure you enough to want to follow you until the very end. It sounded nice. Almost beautiful even, just like he wanted.

Testing out the words on his tongue, the boy whispered. “A double suicide..”

Nodding once, Asa pulled their interlocked pinkies towards her heart in reply. “Yeah! It’s romantically tragic in its own right, don’t you think?”

It was, it really was. In fact, it was so tragically perfect that Dazai knew he would’ve never had thought of such a thing himself. Simply because he wouldn't have allowed himself to think of something so nice and positive.

But now that it was spoken into the world, it couldn’t be forgotten. “I’ve never thought about that before. Do you really think someone would want to do that with me?”

Could it be, could someone really dedicate themselves to him to that extent, enough to give up everything, to walk hand and hand with him to the end of the line? No, that was impossible, no one wanted him, especially in that way.

Asa only shrugged her shoulders though. “You never know! Doesn’t hurt to ask.”

Then all at once, clarity seemed to flash in his eyes. “You’re right..”

That’s it, he just had to ask every woman he saw, then maybe one day he’d get lucky.

Reaching forward, Dazai then shifted his hands in order to grasp onto her wrist before meeting her eyes with a hopeful smile. “Hey Asa-chan! Do you wanna..”

Yet Asagao seemed to already know where he was going with his question, her hand immediately unlatching from his in order to playfully shove her palm into his face and push him back onto the ground. “Sorry Osu, I would do a lot of things for you but killing myself won’t bring me closer to my brother. The only death I’ll accept is one by your hand.”

Damn it, she had said that before, hadn’t she? Ah well, worth a shot.

Throwing his arms out with a child-ish whine, Dazai then pouted his lips at the rejection. “Boo, you give me such a good idea and then turn me down? That’s not very nice. I’m sad now.”

Asagao only laughed though, her tiny giggles taking up the space of his question before pointing a finger out in an offer of her own. “Well, we can’t have that. Oh, I know. How about we stop by the shop on the way home and I’ll buy you some canned crab to make up for it?”

And although it wasn’t what he wanted, her offer enticed him just as much, the boy’s eyes sparkling with pure joy in order to nod his head excitedly.

“Deal!”

——

Stepping through the door of Odasaku’s apartment, Asagao happily turned on the light, the plastic bag full of canned crab clinking together as she moved, only for Dazai to quickly take off his black mafia jacket and throw it on the ground.

And in the past couple weeks of them reuniting, the girl noticed Osamu's childish traits more and more, an action that made her strangely happy. Sure, she still wasn’t sure if he was being completely authentic but she couldn't deny that he at least looked more free when he did them.

In fact, their relationship had grown exponentially since the night Asa cared for him and took off his bandages. She was worried that by pushing that much she would’ve scared him away but it seemed to be the opposite, and for that she was grateful.

Now he came over whenever he pleased, without excuse, and without worry. She would make sure he ate and they would watch TV together and sometimes they would go out to spar like tonight. If anything, the two had definitely moved past the term strangers and into more of a friendship based relationship.

They understood each other, most of the time without words, and that was refreshing to both of them, considering no one else could do such an impossible thing. They were alike and yet so different depending on the circumstance. It was almost fascinating to think about.

She had never had that before, someone that understood so much with so little.

And where most people would call it invasive, Asagao saw his nosey and deductive attitude as a marvel. Although, she wasn’t sure if he felt the same way, considering she stepped out of boundaries before.

But those days seemed long gone as the girl turned back to Osamu only to pause when she noticed discolored tan stains on the bandages around his arms. Well, that was weird.

Reaching her hand up, Asagao then lightly touched his forearm, careful to keep her touch on the gauze as she inspected the source. “What is this?”

Although all she received was a boy-ish smile, filled with fake innocence. “Coffee?”

Almost immediately, something about his sentence seemed off, causing Asa to cock an eye with suspicion. “I didn’t even know you drank coffee..”

Then all at once, the boy nodded his head erratically, his lips moving at a mile a minute in order to give an over the top laugh. “Oh, yeah! I love it, I can’t get enough of it. That’s why I spilled some on me this morning. Oops, I’m so clumsy, aren’t I? Didn’t even notice it till now.”

Pouting his lips all at once, Dazai then whined to himself dramatically. “But now that you mention it, it feels really gross, like super uncomfortable. Asa-chan, you gotta save me! I don't know how I can go on like this..!”

His story was strange, considering she had never heard him speak about liking coffee before, nor did he ever choose that as his drink of choice. Usually it was just whiskey and any other alcohol he could get his hands on.

And what Asagao didn’t know was that she was completely right. In fact, Dazai had never touched the stuff before this morning. He didn’t love coffee, but the reason he had bathed himself in it was purposeful.

You see, ever since the first night Asagao changed his bandages, Dazai couldn’t get enough. He wanted that feeling back, the one that made him feel so safe and cared for. He couldn’t get it out of his head, and trust me, he had tried.

Which led him to taking matters into his own hands, aka finding ways to dirty his bandages so that he would have an excuse to give Asagao the next time he saw her.

At first it started with blood, making sure to purposely hurt his enemies in the most messy way possible in order to soil the white gauze, but then it moved to other things such as alcohol, and rolling around in dirt or dunking himself in nearby rivers.

And today’s plan involved coffee. He had gotten the idea when he saw one of his subordinates walk around the corner with one. So naturally, he ordered the guy to give it up in order to pour the lukewarm liquid on his arms with delightful glee.

Anything to get Asa to touch him like that again, to feel so important and special again. Was it underhanded? Possibly, but the boy knew he couldn’t just come out and ask for such an embarrassing thing.

Staying silent for a moment, he then watched as Asagao seemed to turn his wrist, examining the sight before she let him go with a smile. “I’ll go get the bandages. Meet you on the couch.”

And just like that, he had won yet again, causing the boy to practically skip to the plush cushions of the sofa, unable to hide his delight in song as he watched her go into Oda’s bedroom to receive the first aid kit. “Yay! Asa-chan is gonna help me, she’s gonna help me, yeah! Asa-chan is the best, she’s the very best, yeah!”

Once she turned the corner though, Asagao couldn’t help but close her eyes, already sensing his deceptive demeanor. No one spilled things that clumsily, especially Dazai. Which meant that it was for a purpose.

But because his actions didn’t seem self destructive, the girl chose to ignore them. It’s not like she minded changing out his bandages time and time again. In fact, she loved doing it, it made her feel closer to him.

Returning to the sofa, Asagao then placed herself beside him before placing the gauze on the table only for Dazai to immediately loosen his port mafia tie from his neck with one hand. “Lean closer, darling.”

So she did, the girl pushed her head closer to him so that he could slip off her glasses before unraveling the tie as she averted her gaze from his in silent wait.

Back in the warehouse she may have been able to look at him without her blurry barriers but now that she wasn’t distracted by the fight everything seemed way harder. She still couldn’t look at him head on like this, no matter how much she tried.

Dazai didn’t seem to mind though, his fingers only focused on securing the black tie around her eyes and into a firm knot as Asagao felt herself let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.

So much better.

Then once her view was obstructed, Dazai couldn’t help but soften at the sight of her instant compliance each and every time.

He loved how she never protested to such a strange request, how she never judged him for not being able to do this without the blindfold. No, she knew that he needed this to continue and Dazai was grateful for that.

Once it was done, Asagao moved her fingers towards the coffee stained coverings before slowly undoing each bind as Dazai felt his breath hitch inside his throat at the emotionally intimate contact.

And even though they had done this exchange about a dozen times, each one felt like the very first. It never got easier, it never made his ears stop ringing and his skin stop shivering.

But like some psychotic masochistic man, Dazai never pulled away, his eyes always entranced with her careful and respectful moves, each calculated, each with a certain intent.

He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it, the way she cherished him.

Because as scary as it was, her gentle non judgemental fingers gave him a sense of calm along with the chaos. They terrified him and yet they always soothed him in every kind of mitch matched way.

They reached down to the deepest part of his soul, the one he didn’t know existed and embraced it in a warm and welcoming hug. And though the warmth was uncomfortable and foreign, he didn’t outright hate it anymore.

In fact it was quite the opposite, the boy wanted to run to it, he wanted to jump head first into that dangerous and vulnerable place and never return. He was addicted in every possible way, addicted to the idea of being held by her forever.

This was all her fault, how could she? Making him experience such a life changing feeling, he knew this would happen, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to resist this once he had it. How dare she, how dare she make him feel such weak and fragile emotions again.

How dare she coax him into thinking he deserved such a wonderful experience like this?

Those thoughts made him want to be protected by her hands forever, and with the low murmur of the TV in the background and the sickeningly sweet sound of Asagao’s hum to break through the noise, Osamu did feel exactly that.

Protected.

Slowly and without words, Asagao then hummed to herself in order to wrap the fresh clean bandages around his arms before securing the sight and pulling down her blindfold. “Do you feel better now?”

He simply nodded, still in a daze as Asagao smiled softly in return before replacing her glasses. “Good, I’m glad.”

A soft silence appeared then as the two kids allowed it to fill the room in order to turn their attention to the screen that was playing the latest anime episode of the show that they had been interested in lately.

This was nice, just being with him, relaxing without a care in the world. It made the foreign walls of her brother’s apartment feel more personal and belonging. Hopefully it was the same for Osamu also.

Just then, the sounds from the TV snapped her back to reality, watching as the the main character clapped excitedly as the room around her revealed her friends and family, all of them wishing her a happy birthday in joyish surprise. Aw, how cute. They planned all that out for her.

The sight couldn’t help make Asagao pause though, realizing something almost immediately. “Hey, Samu. Now that I think about it, when is your birthday? My brother never said in his letters and I’ve always been curious.”

Yet that’s when she watched Dazai pause, his voice rather dead and monotone, as if he was mentally waving the question away. “Oh, it was five months ago.”

Feeling her face fell in horror, Asa shook her head in denial. “W-Wait..I missed it..?”

No, that couldn’t be. That meant that during the time they were apart he celebrated his birthday by himself? How sad. No one even knew and he just let it pass like nothing, didn’t he?

Wait. That meant that Dazai was now sixteen, didn't it? She didn’t even realize.

It didn’t matter that he never mentioned it until now, how could possibly let such a thing pass so quietly without a word? Now she felt awful. “Oh no, I’m so sorry Samu! What kind of fake girlfriend am I? I didn’t even say happy birthday to you. What is wrong with me, I should've asked sooner, I should’ve..”

Yet the boy only cut her off though, his tone clearly dismissive. “Don’t worry about it. Celebrating life is stupid anyways.”

But how could she not worry about it? That was an impossible task, one that she knew she couldn't complete “B-But..I..”

Dazai only pushed a finger to her lips though, stopping any sense of self hatred she was about to utter before shaking his head.“I already said don’t worry your pretty little head, love. Now, stop that frown or else you’ll turn ugly like Chuuya.”

Then the boy simply smiled before flopping his head onto her lap comfortably in order to turn towards the TV and ignore the conversation completely. “Now, shush, pillows aren’t supposed to be noisy.”

And when the air turned silent once more, it was far more solemn as Asagao absently moved her hand to his hair with an unsatisfied sigh.

But for Dazai, the topic had already left his mind as the soothing feeling of her hand on his hair caused his eyes to grow heavier and heavier with bliss, immediately getting lost in the soft caresses and lulling touch.

How could he think about anything when her magic had already utterly captivated him?

Feeling Osamu’s head sink further into the safety of her lap, Asagao felt her eyes soften at the sleeping boy before thinking back to her previous question.

And though Dazai seemed to forget about it, she could not, his sad little words consuming her mind all at once.

Celebrating life is stupid anyways

Closing her eyes with dissatisfaction, Asagao then shook her head, not liking the implications of his words as she wished to change them even so.

And she would change them, she had to.

“But it’s not just any life, it’s your life. ”

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yns-world · 2 years

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the intros make me so happy 🥺 can you do some with nightwolf, hanzo, kung lao, and fujin where the reader is super kind and always tries to help others, but still never feels like they're good enough?

a/n: it makes me happy that you enjoyed them 😭 here’s your request <3

Various x Reader Comfort Intros

Characters: Nightwolf, Hanzo, Kung Lao, and Fujin

Nightwolf: “I’m certain the term is called ‘people pleasing.’”

Y/N: “Excuse me?”

Nightwolf: “You rely on the satisfaction of others in order to feel worthy.”

Nightwolf: “How many times must I tell you that you’re enough?”

Y/N: “I heard you the first time.”

Nightwolf: “You heard me, but you don’t believe me.”

Nightwolf: “My only wish is for you to treat yourself with the same kindness that you treat others.”

Y/N: “It’s…”

Nightwolf: “Difficult? I understand. Find relief in that I’ll be here every step of the way.”

(^^^hanzo with y/n)

Hanzo: “You are like the blazing leaves of the fire gardens.”

Y/N: “I don’t understand.”

Hanzo: “You light yourself up in order to please others.”

Hanzo: “You don’t have to burn yourself in order to keep others warm.”

Y/N: They roll their eyes and let out a chuckle. “You stole that from a motivational poster.”

Hanzo: “My point still stands.”

Hanzo: “Do you remember when I used to neglect myself because of how engulfed I was in my own rage?”

Y/N: “Yes…it was a dark time.”

Hanzo: “And you were the one who stuck with me. Now it’s my turn to share that kindness and support.”

Kung Lao: “What kind of beef do you have with yourself?”

Y/N: “Excuse me?”

Kung Lao: “From my perspective, your personality, brains, and kombat are all on par. So what’s this ‘problem’ that you have with yourself?”

Y/N: “When you put it like that…” They trailed off, unable to come up with a valid response.

Y/N: “How did you cope when Liu Kang became the Chosen One?”

Kung Lao: “Firstly, I didn’t beat myself up about it.”

Y/N: “Oh.”

Kung Lao: “Secondly, I knew my worth.”

Kung Lao: “Are you gonna finally realize your worth or do I gotta beat it into you?!”

Y/N: They were too stunned to speak.

Kung Lao: “Be prepared to have the nonsense beat into you!”

Fujin: “What’s on your mind, my sweet?”

Y/N: “I never feel like I’m good enough for you, or for anybody.”

Fujin: “Oh how I wish you could see yourself through the world’s eyes.”

Y/N: “I don’t know why you put up with me.”

Fujin: “It’s blasphemous to insult a god’s lover.” He kept his tone light, a smile on his face.

Y/N: “We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” They smiled back, their mood lifting.

Fujin: “The world loves you, dear.”

Y/N: They raised an eyebrow in doubt. “How do you know?”

Fujin: “It’s something a god knows.”

a/n: thanks for the requests besties <33 i'll be sure to get to them soon :)

i'm also working on a little something for rain 🤭

as always, requests are open! please check my pinned post for request rules :)

i hope y'all have a great day! see y'all in the next post <3

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hazbinfallinginaspiral · 2 days

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IM STRUGGLING SO BADLY TO MAKE A VELVETTE RP BLOG, ANY TIPS FOR ME, JUNO?

- EVERYONES FAVOURITE RANDOM IMAGE SENDER, GOOSE

OKAY OKAY FUCK- I NEED THIS FIRST OF ALL. okay, send.

Um. Tips? Collect reaction images, if that’s your thing. I do it for Vox because he’s visual. @hazbinradio doesn’t have reaction images because that blog is literally in the radio format, so it wouldn’t make sense. It’s very true to Alastor. I have more images for my Vox blog than Valentino becase there’s a lot more to work with and I image he’s much more expressive, it helps me capture his actual feelings better.

I also have specific text patterns that I use. You can tell he’s genuinely pissed off when he gets all glitchy, he’s emotional when the next switches from blue to red. Or that info is just being emphasized, it sort of depends? Oh but between blogs, I have signature colours. Al is Green, Luci is Red, Val is Pink, Retro is Orange, and Vox is Blue. I imagine Velvette would be Purple.

For gathering attention and followers? I don’t know, I started this blog as a way to post my fanfics and fanart and when I got a larger following I started the roleplay and asks because I didn’t have many more ideas for writing. Of course, I still write my fanfics and all that, this is just more of an ask and rp blog be ucase it gives me something fun to do even when I’m not inspired. For a blog that doesn’t have any fanart or fanfics, I recommend rebooting and responding in character to other people’s posts. I’ve done it with @moth-pimp-smokin and a few others, and if they respond it’ll get people interested. Also, people who check the replies on posts they’re looking at could see your reboot and find you all on their own.

Another thing is tagging! I use a shit ton because that’s how I did it with my fanfics so I kinda got used to it. It’s a good way to get people to see your posts, so long as you use them correctly. You can also use blog specific tags to differentiate between types of posts, like @moth-pimp-smokin. It’s a thing I do over here, too! I have a be a doll tag for everything related to the AU, and a retro reader tag for anything related to that character. I mean, they started out as a reader insert but they’re practically their own character right now.

For staying in character? I’m gonna be honest, I just go for it. @voxasks I feel has a much better portrayal of Vox, in the sense it’s much more accurate to canon.

I just play around with how I think he’d act and my own headcanons here. Accuracy goes out the window If I want to goof off and have fun, like the posts I have with you and ✨anon. He’d probably throw more insults your way for all the pictures you send, and he’d never worry about shit in an actual relationship with ✨anon, but I like the idea of it and it’s a lot of fun. I also try to read into the way an anon is acting so I can match their vibes and respond accordingly. @your-silly-vox-stan is committed to Vox no matter how I portray him in his relationship to them, and I know they’re comfortable with most anything I throw at them. I also make small notes out of character sometimes to remind the people I interact with that it’s just the character being an Asshole, but that I can tone it down or change things if they’d like. My own enjoyment is important and so is making this fun for the people who interact with me, so I put that as a higher priority than staying accurate to the character. That’s just my choice, though, because again, other blogs are more canon accurate and they’re just as much fun! This is just my preference.

An introduction page to your blog is also a good idea! I have the masterlist pinned on this one, but for my Luci and Val blogs the intro is pinned so people know what is allowed and what isn’t. They’re given a summary of how I portray the characters, how they can refer to me as the real person behind the blog, etc, etc. You can add your pronouns, what you’d like people to call you, all that cool stuff too. Like how I’m referred to as Juno, and I use he/they pronouns! It’s something you can glean from my posts, yes, but it’s also right at the top of my page and easy to see.

Sharing thoughts on the character, headcanons, how you think she’d interact with others is also something I do. Well, with my own blogs at least. It can inspire others for their own things or make people ask for more details. Sometimes people will even reference one of your headcanons in an ask, and that’s honestly super touching to me. Like- you all have no idea how often I’m just giggling and kicking my feet at how nice you are.

I think that’s all the advice I have? This is just my experience, mind you. I think a lot of my success is also due to the fact I’ve had a really big fan from the very start who reblogs a lot of my work @victoria-heart-of-the-vs is absolutely amazing, and they’ve even made a few things based off my own ideas. Props to you by the way, not sure if I’ve mentioned it? GIRLIE I am eternally grateful, seriously. Oh but yeah, I think checking in with your fans is nice every once and awhile, so I have a poll or two to ask about my audiences preferences so I can gauge their interest and what they’d like to see more of.

But yeah. I have no idea what I’m doing. This reply is all over the place. TLDR; do whatever the fuck you want, be a #bitch, etc, etc. also PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEND ME THE BLOG PLEASE 🙏

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strangefellows · 1 year

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Okay this is gonna be a long post but I figured why the hell not throw my absolute fucking lunatic conspiracy board Limbus Company theory out there, because I’ve had four people tell me it makes sense when I’ve brought it up to them, so! Here we go. Theory: I believe that Dante is Ayin (a main character of the first ProjMoon game, Lobotomy Corp, for those who don’t know). There’s a metric asston of evidence in just the first few chapters alone that keeps making me lie on the floor and scream, so let me document it!

We’re going under a cut for length, let’s get started! Heavy spoilers for Lobotomy Corporation and Ruina under here, be warned.

The Song: First of all, just looking at the lyrics to In Hell We Live, Lament has me absolutely losing my fucking mind. We’re looking at insane lines like “I walked down a path / Leading to the past / Stole from the tree's hands / A regretter's friend / The forbidden fruit” and “If you wanted me to speak / If you wanted me to think / If you wanted me to carry on our dreams / Each loop we live through / The standards inside me / Thе line I drew for me / Lowers to the earth” and “Why'd you make my voice stutter? / Why do truths never matter? / Why'd you curse me with "you're a natural born genius"?” and “Replayed thoughts / Forget me not / I'm inside the empathic light / I bite off your skin / Exposing the angels on your ribs” and just...the repeated mention of loops. The song basically reads literally like Ayin himself singing it to Carmen. (The ending song also feels suspicious lyrically as well, but I can’t pin that down as easily.)

The Prologue: Not as much here, but I find it extremely suspicious that they didn’t show us a damn thing of Dante until after he loses his head and his memories. And honestly, Faust and Vergilius going ‘your name is Dante’ feels very blatantly like a goddamn lie. An amnesiac is gonna accept whatever you tell him is his name, man. Not to mention that he’s explicitly someone very important (Vergilius says so in ch3), and clearly knows something the bad guys desperately want. Which ties to my next point.

The Bad Guys: First of all, they want the Golden Boughs, which as apparently ‘pieces of L Corp’s Singularity’, are a very nice way to say they’re probably literally pieces of Carmen somehow. Branches sure look like the central nervous system, huh. Second, one of the trio in the intro refers to their boss as a ‘her’, says she wants to do something that’s ‘not illegal, but has never been done before’, and IIRC, calls her the Serpent. Now, looking at that serpent reference alongside Carmen’s existing parallels to WhiteNight, as well as Adam and his constant talk of the forbidden fruit...you see what I’m getting at here? Who tempted Adam in the first place?

The Inferno: Now, you see, even if the big bad is somehow Carmen in some way -- similarly to how the Voice led Argalia in Ruina, perhaps? -- that doesn’t necessarily mean Ayin is Dante. HOWEVER! Look back at the Inferno itself, the poem we’re working off extremely heavily. What is the purpose for Dante’s trip to hell? Beatrice. Dante’s dead girlfriend who’s become a divine being. Literally, Beatrice sent Virgil to guide Dante through hell and limbo and shit to bring him to her, roughly speaking. So, uh, looks at the whole dead now divine gf thing. Hm. Yeah. And where is our own trip to hell taking us? Through the ruins of Lobcorp, grabbing what are more or less pieces of Carmen, and I can’t remember if it’s said outright or not but there is a heavy ass chance this trip is ending at the main facility. Which, coming full circle...

The Clock: I will politely resist making a Hokma joke. But you have to admit it’s funny. In all seriousness, though, the fact that Dante’s power is resetting -- something that the entire gameplay of Lobotomy Corp and a major aspect of the plot was built around, resetting and looping and bringing the dead back to life -- is a major sus factor. In fact, I’m just waiting for someone to say ‘death is meaningless’ if I’m not just blanking on dialogue and someone’s said it already. Not to mention, the aspect of Dante feeling the pain of the injuries/deaths he’s rewinding gives me a lot to say about the (fairly canon) interpretation of Ayin martyring himself using the loops to punish himself for what he did. Suffering how the people he’s tied to suffered, so to speak. In fact -- I wouldn’t be surprised if the clock is/was Ayin’s EGO like the Library is Angela’s. How else would it be immediately to hand to slap on his neck, and what else could possibly have been able to legitimately replace his goddamn head on such short notice?

Manager: LOOK, THIS ONE IS TENUOUS BUT WHEN ADDED TO THE PILE-- the simple fact that Dante is deliberately given the title of manager feels important, when looked at through the lens of the rest of the evidence. There’s a line at the beginning of Chapter 1 when the children Sinners start fighting where Dante goes “Should I step in? Is this the part where I exercise my authority as the manager with dignity and grace? A faint memory urges me to do something." and it feels significant.

Random additional note: The Mirror Dungeons Wellcheers event has Dante say it ‘feels familiar’ -- does it? Does it now, Dante?

While I’m still going through the game myself - middle of ch2 - I’ve had the whole story told to me, so I know what’s up, and though there’s probably more small bits I’m missing, the major beats here are definitely enough to support my theory for sure. It feels very right and fitting.

I’m just sitting here with several tinfoil hats and my ConspiracyBoard.gif going GUYS I SWEAR, THIS MAKES SENSE and losing it silently. I hope I’m right. I mean if I’m not right I’m making an AU fic anyway, but I hope I’m right. What do y’all think?

#limbus company #lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #dante limbus company #ayin lobcorp #lobcorp spoilers #ruina spoilers #LISTEN IT MAKES SENSE RIGHT??????????#IT MAKES SENSE

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lightning-writes · 1 year

Text

good heart (faulty machine of a man) - 1/30

fic summary: bucky meets someone at therapy

word count: 1169

tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, hurt/comfort, slow burn, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: ptsd, panic attack, character death

a/n: a little intro chapter, a little meet-not-so-cute

AO3 MASTERLIST x

September 2

When he’d cased the building months ago, he didn’t think he’d need an escape route for this. For the rapid panic harrowing his stomach, tightening his chest, crawling up his throat. He doubles over and gulps the summer air in heaves. He might throw up. He’s vaguely aware he’s in the alley, at the back of the building, barely registering the details of his surroundings.

Raynor brought up Steve. With a sympathetic tone but with those sharp and assessing eyes. He knows her job is to assess him, but when she tried to get him to talk about “his loss”, he couldn’t breathe. This time, it’s different. This time, it isn’t ice Steve’s buried in.

(Sometimes, a sick and weak part of Bucky wishes he could turn off his mind and slip into being the Winter Soldier. God, it’d be so easy then.)

“Hey…” A hand lands on his back gently.

Bucky pushes the person back, forearm braces against their chest, pinning them to the door he’d come out of. He feels his wild eyes, and the singularity of his own heartbeat slowing into a nearly meditative state. This is a familiar taste of numbness he needed right now.

“James.”

The person is the therapist’s receptionist. She’s pressed against the door, her hands are up in surrender, but she doesn’t appear scared. Apprehensive, stunned, but not scared. He registers the dying glow of her cigarette on the ground. Her face is red, but it’s from the heat. Her wrists don a snake tattoo on one and a burning match on the other.

“Breathe through your nose,” she manages to say, “and out through your mouth.”

(Steve is dead, Steve is dead, Steve is…)

He feels her chest rising and falling as she takes her own advice.

(Steve is dead, and I’m alone again, I can’t do this! I can’t do this! I can’t–)

“James,” his eyes snap to hers like magnets, “breathe with me.”

His first breath shakes. She nods and breathes out. If his timing is off, they’d be breathing in each other’s air. He follows, each breath becoming stronger. He feels his wild eyes match her patient ones.

“I’m sorry.” His arm disappears from her chest. He rakes a hand through his hair. “I’m so–”

“I should have known better.” Her laugh wheezes as she absentmindedly rubs her sternum where he’d barred her. Luckily, it hadn’t been his left arm. “Actually, this isn’t the first time a veteran thought I was sneaking up on them during a…” She eyes him, almost knowing that saying the words would make this whole situation worse.

(He wants to ask her how she knows he’s a veteran, but he’s worried about her answer.)

They stand in silence for a minute. The buzz of his panic had dulled his senses. He feels them come back as the seconds tick on. The sound of traffic. People on the street. The smell of garbage and urine wafting through the alley. The whir of the air conditioning units.

“You want one?” The receptionist offers him a cigarette.

(She’s cute, he thinks, with her dark hair spilling over her shoulders, red-wrapped dress, various tattoos. He’s glad he didn’t pull his knife like his instincts told him to.)

He shakes his head. He’s starting to feel okay. “Sorry about…”

“Going autopilot?” She blows her smoke at him. Playfully. “Protecting yourself? Don’t apologize - I get it.”

“Still.” Then, he says something… odd. “Let me make it up to you.”

She pauses, also thrown off by the gesture, but she gives him a sarcastic smile. “What are you gonna do, pay for my clinic bill?”

His eyes widened. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, no,” she chokes on smoke and laughs through the coughing. “No, it’s not even that serious, dude. You can make it up to me by taking care of yourself.”

“That’s not–”

“Fair? What’s not fair is you feeling this way.” She takes a long drag, contemplating her next words. “Next time, do a sensory scan. You’re pretty good at that, I bet.”

(As much as he’d hate to admit it, he feels out of his element. Talking to a young woman, who had seen his vulnerable underbelly. His panic.)

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“You know, focusing on what you can see, what you can hear, etcetera.” She waves a hand dismissively. “Scientifically, it helps ground people.”

(He wants to make a joke, you’re giving better therapy advice than Raynor, but he bites his words.)

“Can’t I just buy you a coffee or something?” he winces.

Her laugh, a surprised bark really, echoes through the alley. He finds himself smiling. She pulls a stick note pad and a pen from her dress pocket, scribbling something down. She makes a flourished show of ripping it off the pad and sticking it to his leather jacket.

“That’s my order. Do with that as you will.”

(He peels the note off his chest, feeling a weird symmetry, and studies her complex order. He pockets it.)

“James.” She hesitates before taking his gloved hand with a quick squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

She’s referring to Steve. The panic flares up his throat again like a shaken pop. It’s weird to him that other people know. He lets his hand fall from hers, the alarm dissipating. He nods, burying his hands in his pockets, before stalking out of the alley, into the busy street.

////

It has been fifty two days since Steve Rogers was reported dead. They say it was in his sleep. They say it was peaceful and painless.

The last time Bucky saw him was on his birthday. The Fourth of July. They’d gone to Berry Park for the day, since it was close to Steve’s apartment, and they spent a lot of time people-watching and reminiscing about the old days. Excited civilians, of course, came up to Steve, thanked him for his service, for being an icon of hope and freedom. Steve leaned over to Bucky and his old man voice muttered something about being a sex icon. Bucky laughed until his sides hurt.

(No one recognized Bucky, with his ball cap and tied hair. He was proud to just be on the sidelines for his best friend, his hero.)

They’d finished the day by having dinner at one of the local pubs, where they ended up getting their meals for free, and they were lucky to find a bench by the riverside.

Bucky remembers Steve’s wrinkled face, lit by the reds and golds, only a shadow of the young man Bucky had grown up with. Even in that moment, he had the distinct overwhelming feeling of Steve’s mortality.

On the walk home, Steve stopped to speak to a man living at the corner of his street. Later, he’d told Bucky he’d talked to the man a few times, slowly earning his trust and easing him into the idea of Steve helping him be re-housed. Steve shook his hand and thanked the man, apparently a veteran, for his sacrifice, including the sacrifice of his civilian life for a lonely life of duty. It was the first and only time Bucky had ever heard Steve talk negatively about being a soldier and the life that had come with it.

(Bucky and Steve had shared a nightcap in Steve’s apartment, until Steve started to doze off. In hindsight, it feels fitting that this was their last day together, a foreshadowing of Steve’s passing quietly in his sleep.)

////

On the train home, Bucky drives the heel of his hand across his cheek, stopping a stray tear from falling.

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itsallsternutation · 7 months

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Pinned Intro Post.

CW before we start: this is a sneeze blog (duh) and will probably feature a few mentioning of contagion and mess and that kind of thing. No emeto or anything dangerous here like that though.

If you wanna skip the exposition, here's all the links to my stuff:

My sneezefics (These are my forte. I'm a bit of a word nerd and sneezefics really bring out the demi in me. They're mostly F, but with plenty of M and Enby in them too. Also sorry some of my reblogs are in there. Tumblr's being uncooperative with me lol)

My sneezing (most of them are on youtube, but who knows, maybe I'll make some tumblr exclusives).

Hiya, I’m Saul Stern (not my real name. It’s short for It’s All Sternutation and I thought it sounded nice). Pronouns are he/him and they/them, but any work for me. I’m not picky.

I’ve been a big fan of sneezing all my life, whether they be in fics or in wavs, I thought it was the right time for me to give something back. I’m a cis guy with no allergies, but with really strong, desperate sneezes that come out real easily with a rolled up tissue. I love both reading and writing wonderful fics about itchy allergies and stuffy colds (I usually prefer F and enby sneezes, but I might throw in a few M in the writing part as well as a few of my own M sneezes). I’m also a big time handkerchief fan and would love to see some of yours.

Here you can find…

My Fics (I was blessed with being really really good at writing, but I’m also a very busy person. I mostly just like stuff with original characters, but I might throw in some fandom stuff if you ask nicely.)

My Own Sneezes (I made a YT and I’m gonna try to share my inducing sessions there)

My General Sneezy Thoughts (I’m not used to expressing them with words, but I sure as heck can try)

Please do not reblog, interact, or message me if you are a…

Minor (Pretty obvious one. Just wait a few years, it won’t be that long)

Non-Kink Blog (If you’re into sneezes, just get an alt. If you’re not, why are you even here?)

An Asshole (If you’re one of these guys I won’t just block you like the others. I’ll do something worse: I’ll make fun of you).

So yeah, here is me. If you’re within my age bracket and wanna talk, DM me at either here, Snzliker on kik or at [email protected]. My YT is also @SaulStern/https://www.youtube.com/@SaulStern and I post some sneezes there. I’m also Itsallsternutations on the SFF.

Cheers, achoo’s, and bless you’s to all of you,

-Saul

#snz things #snz blog #snz fet #snz kink #snz thoughts #sneeze #snz #sneeze blog #sneezeblr #sneeze kink #sneezefucker #snez #sneezing #contagion #mess

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sadpersonmadeoffruitpunch · 8 months

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hey so. i saw you were wondering what the mechs are? well. boy do i have An Answer for you!!!!

the mechanisms are a queer prog-rock concept band that began in the late 2010s as “Doctor Carmilla and The Mechanisms” before later changing to simply “The Mechanisms” after the aforementioned dr carmilla left the band.

NOW. the band, being a performing band much like Steam Powered Giraffe, have a storyline. they have lore. they have characters and backstories.

the mechanisms? they’re space pirates. immortal space pirates to be exact!

they have four main story albums that sort of function as musicals/podcasts and retell popular stories and legends as space opera tragedies! they’ve got one about european folktales only it’s a clone war with tragic lesbians, the odyssey except it’s cyberpunk and also a heist (staring another tragic lesbian), arthurian legend except they’re cowboys in space (with transgender and polyamorous cowboys), and then. well. norse mythology except it’s about trains in space. and also it’s a murder mystery. and a cop drama. also starring tragic lesbians!!

if you’re curious about the trains and the fucking… well. “The Bifrost Incident” is all about trains! and also the origination of the phrase “fuck you and fuck your train.”

you might recognize some of the singers if you’re a fan of the magnus archives, as well! jonny sims, the guy that plays jonny dville in the mechanisms, is usually recognized more often as jonathan sims, the archivist from TMA that he also plays! and then there’s jessica law, who acts as both nikola orsinov (tma) and the toy soldier (the mechs), there’s also frank voss who is both basira hussain (tma) and ashes oreilly (the mechs). oh and tim ledsam, who’s jordan kennedy (tma) and gunpowder tim (the mechs).

anyways, what i’m really getting at here is that you should check out the mechs if you’re interested!!! they’re a really amazing group of performers, and their storytelling and music making is truly incredible. the fandom is very welcoming and we’re all very silly and here to have a fun time!!!

please, send me an ask or a DM if you have any questions (or navigate to my blog and scroll on my pinned post until you happen upon the linked tag with all my intro posts to the mechs)!!!!

They sound fudging awesome! I’m totally gonna check them out!

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puttingwingsonwords · 10 months

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I made a writeblr: wordwings (idk why I can’t tag it so it’s a link)

I’m gonna make an intro/pinned post at some point, but first I have to figure out what goes in those. Also might change the url at some point, I’m uninspired (on insta my writing account is isawrites but I don’t like seeing my name a lot 😶)

#names are complicated idk #anyway i write queer autistic stories let’s talk about them

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daftbitch · 10 months

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Hi! NSA here! Sorry for the radio silence, I've been going through it in the mental health department. Plus work and all. I haven’t been able to write at all even though I want to. I hope you’ve been well despite, you know (gestures to the general state of the world)

Omg though pinning a post to call out to me u///u I’m flattered!

You wanted to hear my thoughts about Doe's Nekomamushi fic, and I will share them now! I did read it, but I was so FED that I wanted to devote the proper energy to address what I all liked about it, and I was far too tired to do that this past few weeks. And just kind of… not in the mood to engage with something positive when my brain is in the pits. But now I am here.

A while ago, someone sent Doe an ask referring to the drabbles I sent you and saying she had competition–I wanted to scream! Don’t compare us! T_T She’s got far more experience under her belt! The Nekomamushi commission is proof enough of that. Just incredible work.

Here’s my thoughts:

The intro is masterfully set up. Just paragraph after paragraph of vivid imagery of the location and the sensations of running through a tangled wood and the thrill of it all. Like 14 paragraphs before we even see Nekomamushi, and none of it is boring. I’m like hitting my head on a wall from a writer’s perspective because it’s so well done! The sun setting and the following hush are great transitions to the last part of the chase and really set the mood. I especially love when Sterling wonders to herself if Zunesha sleeps!! It’s such a small but poetic detail that really helps ground her in the world she lives in despite that world being so whimsical.

"A daring glance back was too tempting to resist." I love this sentence and how it transitions to the reveal, I love the emphasis on hunting grounds. But I think my favorite part of maybe the whole fic is the end of the paragraph:

“So in tune with nature here, it made her shudder. It almost flowed around him, with the ease at which he caught up.”

It’s sooo good! I can picture it perfectly and I just love the concept; such a master of his environment that it feels like the forest moves around him rather than the opposite. Coolest shit ever and something I can easily visualize.

And man, Doe is like a master of mood. After the buildup of the chase and the reveal, literally the moment his paw comes down and pins Sterling I’m on the edge of my seat with anticipation. And from the very start the dialogue is fucking hot:

"Well, little kitten, I've got you-gara right where I want you…there is no place in this jungle where I couldn't find you…"

DAMN I mean talk about starting off strong! And their back-and-forth is so cute and hot.

"Adrenaline and heat, all swirling together. I would chase that scent anywhere, kitten. I'd find you anywhere, until I could have you."

OTL I CANNOT, and immediately followed by "I'll always be yours." !?!? Im GONNA SCREAM!!

“...causing the beast to rumble in approval. That sound was felt all the way to her core.”

Doe hits all of the monsterfucker motifs: the growling of a beast being felt physically, the heat, the strength, the size difference, for some examples. She has an excellent understanding of the draw of the whole thing and knows how to execute those aspects very well.

Also. ALSO.

"They say you shouldn't tempt the beast." - "I think the beast is tempting me. Don't make me wait."

Fucking SUPERB I love the dialogue so much.

"Eyes on me, kitten."

The dominance and being called “kitten” grjgjdfskhfsj. I know I write the same thing but that’s because IT RULES (no pun intended) and Doe does an amazing job at it

The buildup to the actual penetration, the threat of the edging and the dirty talk is drawn out perfectly and is literally so hot it makes me dizzy. And it all builds up to the tipping point/high point/climax (literaty-term-wise) that is making Sterling beg for it, before you even get to the main event.

“Nekomamushi's Sulong form is always a bit rougher with her than his daytime self. The beast took what it wanted, and thought of her wellbeing later on once the throes of heat had cooled. But Sterling liked the thrill of being at the moon beast's mercy, a cunt to be used to breed and nothing more.”

Again with Doe showing 100% understanding of what the appeal of monsterfucking is. We love to see it. And then you actually have the main event and it’s 6 full sizzling spicy mastercrafted paragraphs before the first orgasm, like. I don’t know how she does it! Then we get 3 more before Nekomamushi’s??

Then a perfect resolution and closing line, which is always something I struggle with. The whole thing is Literally 1000/10 work.

Man, I aspire to write stuff like this. I really look up to Doe as a writer.

That’s about all of my thoughts on that. T_T I love fics I love OCs and self inserts and reader inserts I love writing (I hate writing) I love writing. How have you been, KP? I hope things are okay for you.

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR SO LONG!!! I WOULD WAIT A MILLION YEARS FOR YOU TO COME BACK TO ME!!! I’M SO HAPPY YOU SAW MY PINNED POST I THINK OF YOU ON THE DAILY!!!

I’m not gonna lie when I saw this at work I literally started jumping up and down and screaming with joy silently, of course, but I did jump up and down. I want you to take your time and reply to me whenever you feel OK there’s no time limit and I’m always gonna be here. Also, it’s OK if you don’t wanna come off anon that’s completely your choice. And I don’t fault you for that at all.

After I read through your message all the way I literally called Doe and I read her this she was literally so happy She said it made her week and she’s never had such an analytical review of one of her works before she knows the time and energy. It must’ve taken for you to write all of this and source actual lines from her story

She said she greatly appreciate you for doing that very much and if you ever want to go over to her blog and just be on anon to just go ahead and do that if you want.

I reread that story a couple of times a week because it’s a literally, my favorite, and that one line with Sterling just being a Cunt to breed literally always sends a tingle through me. It’s literally my favorite line of the entire story.

My friend I greatly appreciate you so much and you don’t know how much joy that you bring me every time you message me I always get really giddy and giggle a lot that’s how much I look forward to you.

I’m always here if you wanna talk to me if you even want to make a side blog and keep your self anonymous that way and go into my DM’s. If you just want to talk I’m totally down with that too. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with or we can continue communicating this way it’s literally whatever.

And I have so much more I want to tell you and I look forward to hearing from you once again, it brightens up my entire day. You have no idea !!!

I am doing pretty good. I’m getting over a back injury and Covid. I go see the Barbie movie on Saturday. I’m very excited for that. Hopefully you can see it too if you want.

I have so much to tell you and I would like to discuss a bunch of horny stuff with you, but just general stuff in general

I hope this finds you well, my friend

#nekomamushi #Nekomamushi smut anon

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