#also Paloma is so sweet :)

[im-coolrat]

I just finished watching The Neon Barbarian & Neon Wings and the way I BURSTED into tears at that last bit

“I like sound of it. Until the next sunrise!….. until the next sunrise.”

BRO-

#IM ACTUALLY SO SAD RN #WHAT THE HELL #also Paloma is so sweet :) #until the next sunrise #FUUUUUUUUU- #escaped audios #neon barbarian #neon wings

[bluesidez]

The Love Lab presents:

One Bite for You, One Bite for Me

💗 THIS IS MY 100 200 300 FOLLOWER SPECIAL!

pairing: Miguel O’Hara x AFAB!Reader

summary: One of the things you and Miguel bond over is delicious food. One day, you notice that your clothes aren’t fitting like they used to. Miguel is there to remind you how beautiful you are.

content warning: established relationship but they’re not married, 18+ so MDNI, non-Spiderman Miguel, LOTS OF MENTIONS OF FOOD AND DRINKS, weight gain, cycles, insecurity about body, alcohol, body worship, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up 🫵🏾), cunnilingus, lots of praise, a little Spanish (if wrong please lmk)

credit for art + dividers: Me! + @animatedglittergraphics-n-more

a/n: This is actually the first fic I wrote when my Miguel hyperfixation came back in full force. I based it off of this video and a comment saying that girls are usually the ones that gain weight super quick in a relationship. Please know that gaining weight is not a bad thing, especially in this story. Relationship weight can be positive and food is here to nourish your body! Also know that everyone’s body is different. Our bodies will react to things in different, unique ways. If you’re ever feeling icky about your weight/health, please take a step back, breathe, and know that you’re beautiful no matter what. There are also sources out there that can help you if your thoughts overpower your heart. Please don’t hesitate to seek help.

word count: 4.3k

To all my food-lovers and fellow plus-size girlies, kisses to you! You’re beautiful!

SPRING 🥭

“Baby!”

You grinned as you heard Miguel’s shout from the front door. His voice had a giddy tilt as if he made a breakthrough in one of his projects.

“I was finally able to stop by the new Jamaican spot before they sold out and look what I got us,” Miguel says before he slides the take-out bags across the table. “Ribs, oxtails, rice and beans, mac, and your favorite…fried plantains!”

You quickly untie the bags, happy to have a break from your research paper, and immediately get hit with the smell of spices both sweet and savory. “Oh my god! That looks incredible.”

After frantically digging around for a plastic fork, you were finally able to pull a piece of meat off the oxtail. It looked mouth-watering and tender. One bite of the meat and you’re immediately groaning, slumped in your chair. You nod your head and scrunch your face, watching as the juice from the gravy soaks into the pieces of rice stuck at the bottom of the take-out plate.

“That is so fucking good, Mig. No wonder there’s never any combos left by the time you leave work.”

Miguel just watches you eat with a glint in his eyes, happy to see you so relaxed and enjoying the food. He reaches into the second bag, pulling out two bottles of juice, “And to make it better, I got their fruit juice, made fresh daily-”

“Passionfruit and mango flavor!” Your eyes got big as you jumped up and wrapped your arms around his neck. He knew how much of a juice fanatic you were, so this drink was just the cherry on top of the large ice cream sundae that was your generous boyfriend.

“Thank you, baby,” you giggled and gave his cheek a fat smooch. You patted his chest twice and moved back to set up the table, “Now, hurry and wash up so we can eat this before it gets cold! We’ve got shows to watch.”

“Entendido, I’ll be right back”

SUMMER 🍦

You and Miguel were walking hand in hand along the Cancun Hotel Zone, taking in all the sights. Miguel’s job had given him a promotion along with an extremely high bonus, so what better way to celebrate than to use his PTO and bring the love of his life on vacation?

Granted, the area you guys were currently in was a little touristy, borderline bougie, but it was all worth it when Miguel got to see your eyes light up as you watched the turquoise waves fade into white foam along the shoreline.

You wobbled a bit while clinging to Miguel’s side, a little tipsy from the frozen paloma you drank to pair with today’s lunch. It was a waterfront restaurant with a live band so the vibes were just right for a little bit of liquid fun.

The downside was that the two of you were supposed to meet up with Miguel’s family later that evening and while you were fine with the confidence boost you were sporting, you wanted to be more alert when speaking with loved ones. Plus, you needed to give a good impression to the relatives you hadn’t met yet. It will be nice to put a face to the names of Miguel’s childhood.

“What do you say we stop and get some ice cream?” Miguel suggested, chuckling at you when you grinned up at him, ecstatic over the proposed plan.

“You know me so well,” you said, arms reaching around his waist, face squished into the side of his chest. “I would absolutely love some ice cream. Cool me down from the inside.”

Miguel chuckled and kissed the top of your head. You were especially cute when you got like this.

FALL 🍕

“Baby, check this out,” Miguel shouted, finally returning to your table with your food.

The fair was packed full of people, especially due to the pop-up food truck festival happening that same week. You had never seen more people run to get fried turnip greens and loaded fries in your life.

Still, this was just another chance to hang out with Miguel. You really didn’t care where you went with him, as long as you got to see that pretty smile.

You look down at the table and see what he brought back. Before your eyes sat the most un-Miguel order ever: birria pizza and two walking tacos, one Hot Cheetos and the other Dorritos.

“Dorilocos, Miguel. Really?” you raised an eyebrow watching him try to steady the open chip bags over some spread-out napkins.

“Amor, don’t look at me like that! I had to get them because Gabriel kept talking my ear off about this new food truck that made them better than the ones we used to eat on our trips back home. I, for one, don’t believe that for a second, so what better way to test that theory than to eat it with my baby?” Miguel gave the saddest look he could muster and slid his hand across the table, trying to convince you to indulge with him.

“Fine, fine. Don’t give me that look,” you say, pulling off a slice of the pizza, making the cheese stretch as long as you can. “Just don’t complain to me from the bathroom while your stomach fights to digest something it hasn’t had in over a decade!”

Miguel pursed his lips while shoveling as much food as he could on one Doritto, “Shouldn’t I be the one telling you that? That’s a lot of cheese, babe.”

“Oh my god, some queso tears up my stomach one time and you can’t let that go, can you?”

“It was once and yet you were in agony about it for days. I think I’m allowed to remind you at least monthly.”

“Just eat your food and leave me and my iron stomach alone. We’ll see what happens between today and tomorrow,” you quip, pulling your phone out ready to record Miguel’s reaction to send to Gabriel.

Miguel takes a bite and just leans against the table, head slumped on his clean head.

“Dios mio, he was right. This can’t be happening,” he groaned, slightly annoyed that Gabriel wasn’t exaggerating. He was also shocked at the fact that someone even came close to getting the local snack right.

You giggled behind your phone, happy that his reaction worked in your favor. You zoomed in a little more on his face, capturing him smacking his lips and licking off excess sauce. He was so zoned in on his food that he didn’t even notice you with your phone up.

“Is it good, Mig?” you asked, mirth in your voice.

He looked at you ready to answer but his eyes snapped to your camera and started to whine, “Amor, please stop recording!”

With a small smile, you made sure to add the video to your folder full of Miguel. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You just look so cute, I couldn’t help it.”

Miguel just mumbled to himself while stacking up another chip, neck heated over the interaction. “Here, just try this,” he said, holding a nacho close to your mouth.

You opened your mouth, just barely getting the chip in. Cupping your hand under your head, you begin to hum, the flavors all tangy, spicy, and savory. “I don’t know what your childhood Dorilocos tasted like, but this is really freaking good.”

“Just know that this one is only slightly better. By 0.00001% to be exact,” he said, rubbing sauce off of the corner of your lips and licking it off. The movement was muscle memory for him as he always liked to watch your face when you ate food, especially when it came to any nostalgic or homecooked dishes you never tried before. It warmed his heart to see you find comfort in his favorite foods.

“Well, I can tell you it’s 100% better than the ‘Taco Tuesday’ luncheon my job hosted last month. Nothing but unseasoned ground beef, endless black olives, and store-bought guacamole for two hours,” you respond, shuddering at the memory of soppy taco shells and your coworkers complaining about how spicy the mild salsa was.

“On second thought, this is absolutely a step up. Was the guacamole name brand at least?” He asked, peering up at you with a twist on his lips.

“I’m pretty sure it was a grocery store brand, so no.”

“Damn.”

WINTER 🍫

You were at your apartment in your bed, completely covered under the comforter with a fluffy blanket on top.

It was snowing heavily outside and you were freezing. However, your heater tended to make your apartment feel like a sauna, so you kept snatching the blanket off only to put it back on minutes later. Plus, your cycle was here. Your cramps left you lying on your side, rolling back and forth between the cool side of the bed and the warm side.

Physically, you were exhausted, but mentally, you knew you had so much to get done.

Christmas was just around the corner but you still had so many presents left to buy and wrap. Your job was doing the dreaded Secret Santa gift exchange and you were stuck wondering what gift would appeal to the stuck-up director in the accounting department.

You and Miguel were also hosting a small Christmas party amongst your friends, and there was still food left to buy. To top it all off, you were worried about your gift for Miguel, wondering if a silly little apron saying “Kiss me, I’m Irish” would hide the fact that you spent a ridiculous amount of money on some new tech he was eyeing.

You heard the apartment door open and close.

Knowing it was Miguel, you groan out dramatically.

He opens the bedroom door and peaks inside, “Baby?”

You just groan out again, “Everything hurts, Miggy.”

He comes up to bed and sits on the edge, “I know, amor. I’m sorry.” He bends down to kiss your head. “Want me to plug up the heat pack?”

“Yeah,” you say, leaning into his hands. When he gets up to grab the pack, you whine at his absence.

“I know, I know. I’m coming back,” he says, voice soothing.

Instead of turning the pack on, he removes your covers and sits back down on the edge. You shiver a little bit and he’s quick to cover your body with his, rubbing the top of your head as he kisses your temple.

“Are you feeling too bad to eat something for me?” Miguel asks, the timber of his voice settling you.

You shake your head and lean in closer to him.

“I think I want some food,” you reply, squeezing his body. “I haven’t eaten anything yet.”

Miguel tuts as he sits up and pulls you up with him, “That’s no good, baby. You have to eat so you can feel better. Your body needs it.”

You groan again and put your face in his neck, not wanting to move.

“Come on,” Miguel says, rubbing you from your back to your leg. “I got you some soup and a grilled cheese.”

“Did you get the stuff for the hot chocolate bar? For the party?” you whisper.

“Mm hm. Jumbo marshmallows included.”

You nuzzle his neck before you look at him, “Carry me to the kitchen?”

He makes a swift move to wrap your legs around his body and hike you up.

He gets up and holds you close, heading to the kitchen, “Let’s get some food in you, yeah?”

SPRING 🍇

The short spring break trip that Miguel surprised you with has been lovely. Miguel woke you with kisses down your body, taking you to the hilt with his mouth alone. You had to muffle your cries as to not disturb the neighbors in the inn. As his tongue danced inside of you, you gripped his hair with one hand and his head with your thighs. Miguel wouldn’t want it any other way.

After his first course, Miguel treated you to breakfast on the balcony. You two enjoyed looking over the horizon as you ate yogurt parfaits and fluffy omelets.

Later on, the two of you enjoyed a few tours of the vineyard and the city. The sights were beyond compare and the atmosphere was serene.

“Thank you so much for this Miguel,” you say, interrupting the silence.

“Anything for my lady,” he says back. “You’re doing great work this semester so you need the break.” Miguel stopped and turned to you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You leaned up and kissed him, hands warm on the sides of his face.

You both started to makeout for so long that Miguel forgot about the massage he had planned for you before tonight’s farm-to-table dinner.

Needless to say, he laid you out on your bed and oiled your body down. Your head was in your arms as rubbed his hands up and down your back. His hands were heaven and you felt like puddy by the time he flipped you over.

After he massaged your inner thighs he pounded you into the mattress. Something you’re sure the hired masseuse would never be able to do.

Miguel joked and called it the Miguel Magic Massage when you asked if he offered this special regularly. The price? Being his cariño, his amor, his sweetheart.

By the time dinner started, you were glowing. You felt adored and the courses were amazing.

Miguel made sure everyone knew you were his. His hand never left your thigh the entire meal, staring down the older men sitting at the end table who were looking a little too long at the dip of your dress.

You were oblivious, feeding Miguel bites occasionally and humming at how fresh and delicious everything was.

After the last course was over, the men came to you all’s side of the table quickly. All of them started to make conversation with you, plugging in their businesses, and stuffing their business cards in your hands.

It was as if Miguel was invisible. He scowls deeper when they let out hearty laughs at something you said.

“Are you fellas here with your wives?” Miguel asked loudly, completely irritated. “My wife and I have really enjoyed our time here. It’s a beautiful place for couples.”

Some of the men went red in the face flustered at Miguel catching their scheme. Others just scowled, pissed off at being interrupted.

None of them could answer his question.

You looked at Miguel, eyes heavy and relaxed.

“You gentlemen have a great night,” you said, putting your hand in Miguel’s as he guided you to the exit.

“Your wife, huh?” you asked, core on fire. It was hot watching Miguel get so worked up over you.

“Baby, they were looking at you like you were some fresh meat. Like I wasn’t even sitting there,” he grumbled.

“One of them already offered to bring me on a cruise. He’s staying right next to us,” you say, standing outside your room as Miguel swipes his card at the door. You walked your fingers up his chest, heated over the grit you could see from his profile.

He was oh so upset.

“He’s next to us? Right here?” Miguel asked, voice low.

You nodded as you bit your lip, arm around his neck.

Miguel picked you up and dragged you to the bed. You giggled a little to yourself as he plopped you down. Mission accomplished. Silently, you thank those older men. If it weren’t for their overconfidence, Miguel wouldn’t have been tearing at your clothes like he us right now.

Miguel kept you up almost that whole night, making sure that the neighbors heard your cries. Those old geezers were sure to know his name by the next morning. Buying you a ring wasn’t enough. He needed a bat.

It was all worth it to see the tired and flushed looks of their faces when you all checked out the next day.

SUMMER 🍯

“What the fuck,” you mumble, looking down at the pair of jeans you were trying to put on.

It was early morning. You had a family reunion that you and Miguel would take a bit of a drive to get to.

You made sure that everything was packed the following night. Some clothes to stay for a few days, a few snacks for the road, a book for you to catch up on, and even a crossword puzzle book for Miguel.

You planned ahead. You were diligent. So why is it that when everything else is going right, your pants decide not to button up?

You pulled at the flaps once more, trying your hardest to connect the button with the hole. It fails as they slip from your grasp. You try again, sucking in your stomach as much as you could. You get the button to snap in this time, but it’s digging unbearably into your skin. The zipper fights against you as you try to pull it up.

You huff out in frustration and the pants snap open again.

Defeated, you let out a watery sigh and look in the mirror.

Your stomach was bigger than you last remembered, fupa a little more prominent. Your thighs were also a little thicker, the jeans hugging them a little tight. Your breasts looked a little big in your shirt. The family name stretches a bit more across your bust than the original design intended. Even your face was a little chubbier than normal. When was the last time your jaw was like this? High school?

When did you get like this?

You felt your throat start to burn, a sob building in your system. You’ve always been fine with your body, loving the dips and curves. Adoring your flaws and finding beauty in what society decides is not worthy.

You knew this. You knew that you were beautiful. Why was it so hard to get that thought into your conscience?

You felt the tears roll down as you peeled the jeans off of your legs. They were especially tight at your hips and you wondered how you even forced them past in the first place.

You didn’t know what to do. It was so hot outside, so you needed something comfortable, but those jeans…you had your mind set to wear those jeans.

You rummage through your closet in frustration, pushing and pulling the clothes across the rack.

By the time Miguel found you, you were squatting in the closet, hot tears covering your face.

“Babe, it’s been almost 30 minutes and we need to head out before the work traffic starts-”

Miguel stopped in the doorway as he noticed the state of the closet, “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? ¿Que pasó, cariño?”

You wipe furiously at your face, sniffling loud as you hear Miguel push clothes to the side to get to you.

“My pants don’t fit. I don’t think anything else will fit either,” you say, stuttering out your words as Miguel gets to your side.

You let him pull you up into a standing position. You felt defeated.

Miguel looked at you and wiped away the tears that you missed. You feel horrible as your face scrunches up again, tears forming in your eyes.

“No, no, no,” Miguel says, hugging you close. “Listen to me. I know that this feels like a lot, but this is normal. Your body will always change with you. You’re still the same beautiful, gorgeous woman I met years ago and that’s not changing because you got some extra hips, baby.”

“But Miguel,” you say, voice so sad. “I feel like I just got those pants. And. Nothing else in here goes with this shirt. I’m scared that nothing else will fit-”

“And if that’s the case, I’ll buy you new clothes,” Miguel says, pressing kisses over your face. “If these clothes mean that much to you, I’ll take you to the gym. Let me work out with you, but until then, I’m loving your body as is.”

You stare at Miguel, heart beating at his revelation. He stared right back at you, daring you to question or challenge his words.

“Don’t beat yourself up over something like this. If anyone has ever let you feel insecure about your body, they’re an ass, let me deal with them. If I ever do anything to make you feel insecure, tell me. Yell at me. Question me, because as far as I’m concerned, that’s not me.”

He hiked you up on the closet island in the middle of the room. You shiver a bit as your naked legs hit the wood.

He leans closer, placing his hands on the side of you, “Now, let’s think. Don’t you have a pair of cargo shorts that match the ones I’m wearing right now?”

You whisper out a yes.

“Would you be ok with wearing those? I’m sure they fit perfectly.”

You say yes again, head leaning onto his. You could accessorize it perfectly. It would make a great couple’s look.

Miguel knew this much, he just had to get you to see it.

“I love you, ok?” he says, voice clear.

“I love you, too. Thank you,” you say.

“Anything for my girl,” Miguel says. “My beautiful girl. She’s just for me. I can’t believe it.”

Your heart beats faster as he starts to kiss down your body.

“Her face is so lovely.” A kiss to your cheek and your lips.

“She’s always working so hard.” A kiss to your neck and your collarbone. He pulls your shirt over your head.

“She makes me so happy.” A suck to your breasts as he unclasps your bra.

“Her body is beyond comparison.” A trail of kisses down your stomach, your belly twitching as his breath twinkles on along your skin. “Soft. Amazing. Irresistible.”

“Her thighs are my earmuffs.” A caress to your inner thighs. Your legs snap a bit, ticklish at his ministrations.

“Miguel?” you whimper out.

“I have to relax you before this ride. Can’t have you upset,” he says, kissing his way up your thighs to your panties. “May I?”

You nod your head, fingers grasping at nothing but then a flat surface.

Miguel was swift. He pulled your underwear down and kissed at your clit. You could only hold tight as he pulled your body forward and dove in.

It wasn’t long before you were shaking like a leaf. Miguel sucked at you for minutes, pulling a long orgasm out of your system.

He kneaded your thighs as you trembled around his tongue, humming as your legs squeezed tighter. That was the queue for him to go further, so he added his fingers to the mix, moving his mouth up so that his fingers could pump in and out of you.

It took all of your strength not to let your body drop off the other side of the island.

“Miggy, please,” you wailed. You wanted more.

Miguel looked up at you whining above him. You pull your legs up, holding your hands under your thighs, practically begging for him.

Miguel kissed up your body again. He was swift with removing his clothes. You still had to have these clothes fresh for later and Miguel was about to wear you out.

He moved to push himself inside of you, grunting as you gripped him.

He replaced your hands with his and pulled your legs up by his head. You balanced yourself on the island as he slowly started to thrust.

“So good. Just for me,” Miguel said, watching as your body moved with his movement. “Perfect. And all mine.”

You remained quiet, whimpering softly as he dragged against you.

“You heard me, hermosa?” Miguel said. “You’re beautiful. C’mon. Say it for me.”

“I’m,” you stopped, mind foggy. You didn’t know how you were supposed to respond when he was going so deep.

“Say it.”

You cried out as he snapped harder, “I’m beautiful.”

“That’s right baby,” Miguel praises you, bending further to give you a kiss. “So amazing.”

He praised you until you finished, squeezing at any of you that he got his hands. By the time he was done, your arms felt like jelly from holding you up.

He carried you to the bathroom for a quick shower, never stopping his reassurances of you.

You guys made it in the car an hour and a half off schedule, but it was worth it for the uplifted way you carried yourself throughout the day.

It was worth it to see you happy and healthy.

By the time you made it to the reunion, it was like you were born anew. You greeted your family with smiles and laughter. Miguel couldn’t help but to cheese watching you do your thing.

He felt his heart soar as you caught up with family. Your smile was the biggest as you were out on the floor line dancing your heart out. He was right up behind you when Outstanding came on. The song was really a declaration of how he felt about you.

You giggled as he crooned in your ear.

“You light my fire,” he sang, swinging your hips in time with his.

“I feel alive with you, baby,” he spins you around to him, a smile on his face.

“You blow my mind,” he pulled you out and back in.

“I’m satisfied,” you squeal as he spins you in the air and puts you back down to keep dancing.

Outstanding. You really knock him out.

Another season where Miguel adored you more.

Another season where Miguel wanted you to be forever his.

Another season where he made sure he fed you well.

Another season of you making his heart pound.

Another season of your love reaching to the fullest.

Miguel was excited for the next season with you.

As always, I hope you enjoyed reading! 💗

Any likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated. Let me know how you feel! 🥺🧁

Until next time,

-Lauro 💗

#love lab fics 🧫 #to the lab testers 🩻 #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x fem!reader #miguel o’hara x plussize!reader #miguel o’hara x chubby!reader #miguel x reader #x plus size reader #x chubby reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara imagine #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #spiderman 2099 x you #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel spiderverse

[mschoiyuki]

Silence

Trafalgar Law x f!reader

tw : angst. angst. angst. just angst. SFW

wc : 5.1k

a/n : Law is a foolish man. Interaction with the Straw Hat Pirates. I'm not good at writing summary, sorry ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀) And I'm sorry for the grammar error. Actually I've been thinking so hard, should I make it a happy ending or not. But... Oh well...

It's best to read this while listening to :

❆ Taylor Swift - You're Losing Me (From The Vault)

❆ Bruno Mars - It Will Rain

❆ Paloma Faith - Only Love Can Hurt Like This

Enjoy ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Law used to smile to you like that.

Law used to gave lingering touch to you like that.

Law used to sits next to you like that.

Your heart used to beats faster when you were with him.

But one day, everything suddenly change. You want to ask him why, but sadly you're just his crewmate. Law is your captain. Nothing special between you.

Even though he is your captain, you will give your life for him in a heartbeat. Maybe for Law it's just a natural things to do. Yes, another crewmates will also give their life to protect their captain. What's so special with you giving your life for him too? Nothing.

One day on midnight, it's your turn to on watch. You bump to Law on the hallway. There's some sweet perfume wafts from his body. You clench your fist, greeting him with a smile, "Captain." And off you goes, not wanting to hear any responses from him.

The next week when Polar Tang docked at an island for supplies. You bump at Law again at dawn. You can see a red mark on his neck. You just smile and greets him, "Morning, Captain." And you walk away.

You walk fast to bathroom, letting out whatever it is in your stomach. Slouching on the sink, gripping your arms tightly, you cry in silent. You don't want anybody to finds out.

From that day onwards, you made up your mind. Shoving that feelings deep down, sealing it on your pandora box, throw away the key far far away.

You act like a true crewmate, no feelings attached. Every mornings you wake up, you will perfecting your smile in front of the mirror. You train the muscle really hard, you must to make it as natural as possible. So no one knows it's fake. It has to be perfect.

No eye contact. You will answer Law question short and sharp. Giving your best smile without meeting his eyes.

No lingering touches. You will keep your distance an arm length from Law. As natural as possible. Even you try to eat first or later to not sit at his side.

Week turns to month.

Until one day, you witness it with your own eyes. When you leave the bar and want to go back to Polar Tang, you see him. Your beloved captain, Trafalgar Law, walks to a motel with a woman. His hand on the woman waist.

Your body trembling. Your head dizzy. You want to let out the beers you drank out from your throat, tears are threatening to falls. You clench your fist until it's turning white.

Sachi, Penguin and Bepo walks out from the bar, want to follows you back to the sub. But they halt their steps. Following the direction of your gaze.

They knew. Knew Law been to the bar. They knew there's always a girl at his side. They've confront him about this, but he told them to shut up, Law told them to not meddle his personal life.

You take a deep breath and blinks away the tears. And you start walking back to sub.

The man that you loved for years, breaks your heart to pieces. You even haven't confess to Law. Yet you already has the answer.

Then what's the point to stay at here? Why you have to torture yourself more than this? The answer is clear. You chuckle to yourself. Why are you so foolish. You're just a crewmate. Even if you're gone they won't make a fuss.

"Let's just wait for another chance." You thought to yourself.

That night, your heart losing it beats. It's not beating faster when you think about Law anymore. When you wake up with tears stain on your pillow, you lost your voice.

Strangely you're not panicking. Because you remember you read it on a book at Chopper's library, it can due to trauma or it can be from shock that your brain or heart produce.

The others panics. The trio runs to Law, telling him about you lost your voice. Law's face darkened hearing the news. Law immediately rushing to you.

"What happened?" Law try to reach your arm, but you take a step back. Avoiding his touch.

Don't touch me with those filthy hands. Those hands that touched other women.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, you smile and shrug. You write on the sketchbook "No need to panic." And you walks away from him resuming your duty.

Law just stand there, stunned. He remember this scenes long ago. Just like Cora-san when they first met. But are you really lost your voice? It can be you just faking it like Cora-san.

The trio know what Law's been thinking, Sachi breaks the silence "No, Captain. It's real."

Penguin chime in, "We already check on her, we try to prove it. It's real."

Bepo just start to panic and want to cry.

Law's minds been busy, thinking the way out to get your voice back.

But Law doesn't know about your plan.

You know Law's sleeping schedule, mostly Law will be at his office until morning. He rarely sleeps on his bed. Before dawn you slip something under his bedroom door.

While the other are busy getting ready to submerge, you walk out slowly without making any sounds to avoid bumping to other crews. Off to the fresh dawn air. Then you see a merchant ship docked at the harbor not that far, they starts to pulling their anchor.

You start to run faster to the merchant ship, after you reach them you write to them that you need a lift to another island to find your "husband". They agree to help you and they start to sail.

You look back again to the direction where the yellow sub docked behind a hill, the place that been home for you for years. The place full of happy and sad times. The place where your loved one is. The place where your heart used to beats full in love there.

You left your home. You left your family. You left the man you loved. You left your heart there.

When Law enter his bedroom, he step on something. He picks up a piece of paper and open it. His eyes widened and he start to search for you in every corner. Even your room is empty though your belongings still there. Law can't find you anywhere.

"Hakugan! How long have we been submerged?" Law slams the control room door, out of breath.

"Around six hours, Captain." Hakugan clench his heart, shock with the sudden burst and scared if he makes any mistake.

"Fuck! Turn back! Turn back to the island! NOW!" Law is furious now. How can he oversleep until this late? If only he didn’t stayed up late last night.

Sachi runs and stumbling at the door, "The letter... Captain.." Sachi tries to catch his breaths because he runs as fast as he can.

Penguin arrive behind Sachi, holding out the letter, "We found this."

Law snatch the letter and read it. It contains a simple words,

Thank you for the memories ꨄ︎

There's no doubt in it. This is your handwriting. The handwriting that Law always brush lovingly and memorize. The same handwriting on your letter that you left for him.

I loved you.

Law yell the order to Hakugan again, "Turn back to the island!" He walks back to his room, Sachi and Penguin follow behind him. When Law open his door, he rush in and slam the door right in front of Sachi and Penguin face. He doesn't need any lectures now.

He slides down from the door, sitting and read your letters again. The letter for him, I loved you. Loved. That means you don't love him anymore? Did he made a mistake? All of this is his fault? He stare hard on your letter, LOVED.

And suddenly a droplet of water stain the letter. Law choke on his own tears. He want to scream, he want to rips his hair off. But he can't. He punch the door in frustration, there a small yelp behind the door that goes unnoticed by him.

Six hours. Law prays that you're still at the island. He will take you back no matter what. If you ask him the reasons, he will tell you. He will tell you everything you want to knows. As long as it can takes you back to him. He will tell you his true feelings, his feelings toward you. He will do everything, anything. For you. He will make it right this time.

When Law arrive at the island he waste no time to cast his power. He use all of his energy to cast a big "ROOM" that envelopes the whole island. He close his eyes, he wish, he hope, he prays that you will appear in front of him. And he cast the "Shambles".

None.

Nothing.

You don't appear in front of him.

He tries, tries, and tries again.

Penguin grabs Law shoulder, "She's gone, Law. She's left. Let's go back inside."

That moment, Law feels like his heart being torn apart to pieces. It's all his fault he lose you. How could he be so foolish?

Why would he think being with another women will keep you safe? Why he didn't realize your pain? Why he didn't realize your changed attitude towards him? Your smile, your distance, no more lingering gazes and touches. Why he just realize it now?

It's too late now. He hurts you, he lose you too.

Penguin and Sachi follows Law to his bedroom. Law just sit at his bed with his hands in his face. Penguin and Sachi look at each other. Seeing their friend like this broke them too.

"Do you realize all the women you pick resembles her, Law?" Penguin break the silence.

Law still hide his face. "Their height, features, hair colors and lengths it's all resembles to her, you know." Sachi take a step forward.

"I didn't slept with all those women. I couldn't bring myself to slept with them. It never feels right, those women is not her. They can’t give me what I want likes her" Law shoulder is shaking.

Penguin kneel in front of Law, "Then why did you that, Law?"

"I just want her to be safe. You know I've got a lot of enemies. I'm so scared that I can't protect her. What if I lose her?" Law mutter, his voice is cracking.

Sachi sit next to Law, gripping his shoulder "You already lose her, Law."

Law can feel a sting in his heart, the pain almost unbearable. Being so broken Law poured all his heart out to his best friends.

"I shouldn't have let those women get close to me, let their stinky perfumes on my clothes. Gave me mark on my neck. She must've seen it. She must've knew."

"She saw you took a woman to motel, Law." Penguin sighs.

Law freeze and lift his face in horror, "What? When?"

"Night before she lost her voice." Sachi fills in.

"What? Then it's my fault she lost her voice?" Law whisper, his voice thick with sadness. Law can feel the anguish slowly engulf his heart and mind.

Sachi and Penguin wants to comfort him, saying it's not his fault. But the words just won't come out from their mouth. So they just stay there with him, watching Law stare blankly at his hand and crumble.

He will take you back, no matter what. He will travel around the New World again to find you. All he want is just for you to be safe. He prays to all the Gods for your safety, and to gives him your forgiveness.

For four months, Law lost his direction. He will only comes out from his office to give orders and then shut himself at his office. Sachi, Penguin and Bepo try their best to help Law. They will bring foods for him, dragging him to take a bath. If he force himself to sleep at his bed, he will just curls up clutching tightly on your letter praying that he will meet you on his dreams, smiling and holds him tight. He will gives you all his love for you. Hell, he even will says the three words to you. Even if it's just on his dreams. He drifts off to the dreamland with tears to meet you there.

Every times they reach an island, Law will cast the "ROOM", if there's no result he will order them to move to the next island immediately. Sachi and Penguin even beg to Law to stay for a couple days at the island to get some supplies and rest before resuming their journey. They understand Law impatience, but they still try to persuade him.

They think Law is just like a ghost now, losing half of his soul. The only thing that can cure him is you. They also prays every times they reach an island, hoping you are there. To end Law misery. They really want to tell him to give up, but they got tongue tied every times they see his face.

The first month after you left Law, you stay at the island for awhile to collect some berries for your next journey. Sometimes you will help the local doctor, or working at the diner as cook.

When the berries is more than enough, you will move to another island. Maybe you runs away from him, if you stay at the island longer you afraid you will meet him. Heh. There's no way he will looks for you. Who the hell are you? You're not that important to him. You're just a crewmate. Stop thinking so high and mighty about yourself, Y/N. You chuckles and shake your head in disbelief.

The second months, you meet the Sun God. The person you least expected to meet.

Luffy is so happy to meet you again after years. He wraps his arm around you, "Does this mean Torao also here with you? I want to meet him! I miss him!" Luffy chirps.

You just give him a sheepish smile, and you write, "No, I'm alone. I'm no longer Heart Pirates crew."

Luffy just stare and tilt his head, confuse why are you using that sketch book, and you explain to him that you lost your voice. Luffy then drags you to Sunny, "Chopper can help you! Let's go!"

You try to let out your voice, to tell him no but the voice is not coming out. You just let him take you to Sunny.

The other crews are so happy to meet you again. Nami, Robin and Chopper embrace you so tightly. They rush you to the infirmary to check your health. They are so shocks hearing Luffy's information that you lost your voice and no longer Law's crew. As you try to calm them down, "It's okay, it's not a big deal. I'm still strong even without my voice." You give them weak smile while show them the sketch book.

Nami and Robin knows there's more into it. They exchange glances and hugs you, Nami gives you pat on your head while Robin stroke your back. As if they know your real reason. As if they know your pain, your heartbreak. Chopper just hugging you too without knowing why.

For the first time after two months, you cry your heart out. Sobbing in their embrace. You want to let out all of your screams that you've been hold back for months. But you can't. There's no voice coming out. You cry until your throat is hoarse and dry, and fall asleep on their embrace.

The next morning you wake up with swollen eyes. Sanji rushing to get ice packs for you, "A beautiful lady like you mustn't cry, Y/N-chan. Tell me if there's something you crave, I will cook it for you in no time." And he kiss the back of your hand. Nami warned to the other crews to not mention Law's name. It's a forbidden word at Sunny, whoever utter that word must pay a huge amount of berries to her.

"Eeh. Whyyy?? Why can't I say Torao name? I want to ask her about how he's been doing." Luffy whine to Nami. Nami grab Luffy's collar and threaten him, "If you says his name one more time, you won't get allowance for a month. I dare you." Luffy zips his mouth tightly.

"Just stay with us, we won't say anything to him." Luffy sincerely say it while all of them gathering waiting for lunch. You can feels the tears are forming at the corner of your eyes, you mouthed "Thank you." and try to blinks away the tears.

Even though you're not sad anymore, the crews know you changed. You're not the same person as they met back ago when the alliance with Law's formed. Your smile is not the same, you're not the cheerful person like back then. What had happened between you and the Heart Pirates Captain?

One day when you, Nami and Robin enjoying Sanji's dessert at the deck, she can't help her curiosity so she cautiously ask you, "Did both of you broke up?" You put your spoon on your lips and write "We're not together. We're just crewmate and captain." Nami and Robin stunned with your words. Nami try to pushed again but Robin pinch her with her extra hand. They just don't understand why both of you are not together. They saw how Law gazed at you. How Law always following close behind you every where you goes, like a lost cat. But they didn't push further, maybe you're not ready to tell them yet.

Days by days pass peacefully, some part of you think maybe it's not that bad you get on board with Luffy. It's almost makes you forget about your pain. You can saves more berries, maybe someday you can settle down at some island and enjoying the domestics life.

Some days, you help Sanji with preparing foods or wash the dishes. Other times you watch Luffy antics. There's no days pass without fun on Sunny.

Until one day, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Brook and Franky make a fuss with the sea king monster. In such a chaotic mess, Nami hit their head until two lumps appear at each heads. And she yell at them, they just lowered their head until a soft breeze blows and Luffy raises his head to hold his precious straw hat, "Oh! Y/N is laughing!" The others snaps their head to you, seeing you laugh for the first time. The real and genuine laugh.

Nami and Robin jumps at you and hug you. The others also laugh, Sanji's heart eyes appear at the sight, and there's a slight tinted blush at Zoro face, and he smile. Even though they can't hear your sweet voice, at least you're laughing now. They just hope you will turns to the old you.

They never thought of you as a guest at Sunny, they treat you like their nakama. When you're down, they will try to cheer you up. Zoro sometimes offer you to clean your katana, or even training together. The girls watching Zoro's behavior and it's so strange for him to interact with someone on his accord.

Nami pulls him and threaten him, "What're you doing? What's your intention, Zoro?"

He deadpanned on Nami, "Nothing, just offer her some companion?".

Nami point her finger, "If your intention is not clear, or you just need someone to warm your bed you better back off."

Zoro takes a step closer and gives Nami a stern look, "I'm. Not." Zoro growls. Maybe he just pitied you, or maybe he just want to take care of you, or maybe he just want to protect you. He doesn't know himself why.

As months goes by, you're getting a little bit cheerful like the old days. And you even gets closer to the crews.

When Luffy see an island holding a festival he decide to dock. Before Luffy and Chopper can scurry off to the town, Nami hold them and tell Luffy to bring one or two crews with him. To watch over him to not cause any ruckus.

Zoro voluntary says he will go with Luffy making the others screech. Nami turns to you "Y/N, can you please go with them? Me and Robin will go later and catch up with you guys." You nods and go to change your outfit. Wearing white shirt with a short and sandals. You run off to Luffy and the others whose been excited to enjoy the festival, “Let’s go!!” Nami shouts from the back, “Zoro!! Please don’t get lost! I’m counting on you, Y/N! Have fun!!” Zoro just rolls his eye at Nami and you giggle while wrapping your hand to his arm. Zoro jolt at your sudden touch and eyeing you, you mouthed “So you don’t get lost.” You grin and lead the way. Zoro just huff and shake his head, hiding the subtle smile.

Tagging along with Luffy that want to eats all of the foods on every stalls, and Chopper want to try all the attractions makes your heart full. “Look! That roller coaster is so cool! Let’s try it!” Chopper shouts and excitedly point at it. “I’m gonna pass on this one. To tired. I will wait for you guys down here.” Zoro already sits on the bench and cross his arms.

You feel bad leaving him behind and want to stay too, but Zoro just shoo you to go with them, “Just go, it’s okay. It won’t take that long.”

Then you go with Luffy and Chopper to enjoy the roller coaster. But when you guys come back down, all of you are drenched. You guys just laugh while Zoro dumbfounded looking at you guys. Zoro put his cloak on your shoulders, “Your shirt become a see-through.” As he looks away from your body. Your face flushed and mouthed “Thanks.”

As you guys walking back to Sunny with hands full with foods, there’s two people looking at you from afar with their jaws dropping. They can’t believe their own eyes. They exchange glances to make sure it is really you.

“Should we call Captain?” Sachi already takes out the mini den den mushi.

“Ugh.. Wait! But look at her! She’s laughing! She’s happy, Sachi!” Penguin grab Sachi hand.

“Guys! It’s-!” Bepo suddenly appears and shout but Sachi and Penguin quickly shuts his mouth.

“Sshh!!!” They gesture in unison.

“Should we call Captain??” Sachi press again.

Penguin is still in agony. “Peng! Captain needs her!” Sachi getting impatient now because he almost lost you on the crowds.

"Fine!! Fine! Call him." Penguin surrender, still unsure if this is the right things or not. Because he also knows you are suffering from Law.

When the news reach Law, he immediately teleport to the shore. He use his power to teleports here and there, to find the Sunny.

And he sees you, draped in Zoro's cloak, your hand grabs on his arm. And you laugh. You laugh with them. The smiles that he missed so much, the smiles that you used to gave to him. You looks... Beautiful. You looks... Happy... Are you with Zoro now? He can feels his heart clench. He will finds out himself.

This time, he will make it right.

Suddenly you see a blue orbs envelopes all of you. You freeze, gripping Zoro's arm. You know damn well this blue orbs. And he appears in front of you. The man that you loved with all of your heart. He looks like a mess. His eye bags getting more darker.

Law so relieve when he see you this close. Finally... He can take you back with him, he moves his hand to reach you but Zoro take a step in front of you and stand between you and Law.

"Move, Zoro-ya." Law stand tall against Zoro.

But Zoro doesn't move an inch, and you still clutching on Zoro hiding behind him. When Luffy and Chopper see Law, they excitedly shouts, "OOH! TORAOO!!" But Zoro prevent them to get close to Law.

"What do you want, Torao?" Zoro still in his defensive stance.

"I don't have any business with you. I'm here for Y/N." Law still looking at you. "Let's talk, Y/N. Please." He's pleading now, you never hear his voice this soft. You still consider should you talk to him? Part of you don't want to talk to him, you don't want to see his face. But maybe this is the time...

You come out from behind Zoro and you nod. You point to a big stone under the shade and you gesture to him to follow you there. You write to Luffy, "I'll be back."

You and Law walk to the shade, you lean on the stone and write, "What do you want?" You shove it to him, but you didn't look at him at all.

Law furrow his eyebrows. It hurts. "How you've been, Y/N?" He reach for your face but you avoid it. It hurts so bad. He clench his fist and take it back to his side. "Please, look at me, Y/N." His voice cracking.

You freeze and slowly turn your head to meet his gaze. There they are, the grey eyes that you used to loved is filled with tears now. But it makes you furious and without you realizing it you hit his chest with your both fist. Law lets you hit him, if it can makes you feel better then it doesn't matter. If it can makes you back to his side, then it's fine. He will take it all, your furious, your hits. Everything.

Your head hung low while you still hitting him for God knows for how long. But Law realize you've been crying. He grabs your wrists, "Look at me, Y/N. Please." You lift your head, still sobbing. Law's eyes quiver with the sight, he pulls you right to his chest. He hug your trembling body tightly, he will not let you go.

"Please come back, Y/N" Law whisper beside your ear.

You snap your eyes open realize this is not right. You shove Law then you wipe your tears with your sleeves and write in a quick pace, "I'm not coming back. You should go back."

"Y/N, don't do this. Please come back to me." Law reach out his hand for you to take it, he looks so sorrowful. You shakes your head furiously. Law take a step toward you still reaching out his hand, "Why are you doing this, Y/N? If you love me then just come back to me." He slowly walking to you.

"I'm not! I don't love you anymore!" You write then tear the sheet and you throw it to Law. Then you write another one and throw it again. He picks it up and read it “I hate you.” Law’s eyes widened and he clutch the sheet, “Lies. You’re lying.” He stands in front of you.

“I’m not lying.” You look straight into his eyes.

“I don’t love you. And I’m not going back. Leave. Go back, Captain. I’m just one of your crew-mate, you don’t have to waste your times for me.” You starts to walk away from him.

Law grabs your wrist and turns you to face him, “I love you. I love you, Y/N. Please come back to me.” He’s crying. Trafalgar Law is crying in front of you.

You try so hard to hold back your tears. You tell yourself, don’t cry, not now. You shakes your head and yank your wrist, “It’s too late. Goodbye, Law. Take care.” You leave Law standing there in silence.

You walks back to Sunny without looking back at the man you loved. You thought you’ll be strong to leave him again for the second times, but why these tears just won’t stop? As you reach Sunny you quickly wipe your tears.

“Can we sail out now, Luffy? Please?” You write to Luffy. Luffy just nods and tells Nami to set off.

You storms to your shared bedroom and lock the door. You throw yourself to your bed and cry your heart out, screaming to the pillow. The crews freeze when they heard your wailing. When they wish they can hear your voice again, they don’t mean it like this. Not your voice when you’re in pain. They just stand at the deck looking at each other, they can feel your pain. But they can't do anything to erase your pain.

Law walks back to Polar Tang in tears with your sketch sheets in his hand, it feels like he reminisces the old days. The days he cried when Cora-san died. You left him too. If only he could be more honest with you. If only he didn’t act like a jerk. If only he didn’t hurt you. None of these will happen. If only…

When the crews see Law coming back alone they don’t utters a single words to him. He just walks to his bedroom in silence, only the trio follows Law. Law slumps to his bed, covering his eyes with his arm, the other hand still holding on your sketch sheets tightly at his chest. Penguin being the brave one to break the silence, “Is she?” Law answers short, “No.”

Sachi continue, “Do you tell her everything?”

“It’s too late. She hates me. She doesn’t love me anymore. She left me.” Law curls up holding your sheets tightly.

Law can't get you return to his side again. He can't have your heart forever. He can't see you anymore. He can't hear your sweet voice anymore. At least he want to hear your voice before you go.

Law doesn't know you get your voice back again.

Law summon "ROOM", the blue orb surrounds him and he cast "SILENCE".

For the first time Sachi, Penguin and Bepo see their Captain crying in despair. They just hope their captain can get on his feet again.

It's too late now...

Is it too late now?

This is the end...

Is this the end?

Part 2

dividers by : @saradika-graphics

#trafalgar law #law x reader #law x you #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar d water law #one piece law

[sunkissed-zegras]

✮ 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐯𝐞, jump then fall au

au masterlist! masterlist!

♡ ─ word count | 2.7k

♡ ─ summary | cece has been working for adam for a month, forming a bond with paloma. she comforts paloma during a tantrum and later helps adam when paloma won't stop crying, late into the night. they discover the meaning of paloma's name as they bond over it.

♡ ─ warnings | toddler tantrums, sleep-deprivation LMAO, um nothing else (i think)

♡ ─ taglist | @literatureluster @itsnotgray @valluvsu (fill in form in my navigation in you are interested!)

♡ ─ ev's notes | after weeks of writer's block, we GOT OVER IT. war is overrrrr, finally. we survived the great war. anyways, this chapter is so sweet and i love it so much. i also realized my love for adam is very much eternal and undying, i will love him more than anyone else 4ever and idc. should i start a go-fund-me so i could get his jersey?? help a broke college student get her fav hockey player's jersey✊🏼✊🏼 also happy spooky seasonnnnn!!!

also if anyone has au thoughts please send them in for my entertainment, i love love LOVE asks.

It had been a month since Cece had started working for Adam and she has loved every second of it.

Well, maybe not every second but Paloma was the sweetest girl she's ever worked for. She was funny and easy to work with, unlike some of the other kids she's worked with. Cece had quickly adapted to the rhythm of the new job, finding ways to connect with Paloma and make their time together enjoyable and overall fun. She had become an big part of Adam and Paloma's daily routine, and it was clear to everyone that Paloma adored Cece.

Cece was sitting comfortably on the floor next to Paloma, watching her favorite movie, "Beauty and the Beast" for the fifth time she couldn't help but smile at the toddler's enthusiasm. Paloma's eyes were glued to the screen, and she occasionally mimicked the characters' actions or lines with her limited vocabulary, making Cece laugh in the process. She was adorable, her heart melted with every little word she mimicked.

As Belle and the Beast danced in the iconic ballroom scene, Paloma attempted to mimic their graceful movements, stumbling slightly in her excitement. Cece chuckled and gently held Paloma's hand, helping her "dance" along with the characters.

She laughed as Paloma kept her dance up, "You're doing good, sweetheart!"

Paloma beamed happily at Cece's words of encouragement. Her tiny feet shuffled clumsily on the floor as she continued to "dance" with Belle and the Beast. It was a sweet sight, and Cece couldn't help but feel a deep affection for the little girl.

Right as the dance ended, the apartment door had opened. "I'm home!" Adam's voice rung out through the entire apartment. As he walked into the living room, he smiled at the scene in front of him.

"Hey," Cece greeted him with an equally bright smile as him, still sitting on the floor next to Paloma, who had now shifted her attention from the movie to her dad's arrival.

Adam bent down and scooped Paloma up into his arms, eliciting giggles from the toddler. "Did you have a fun day with Cece, sweetheart?"

It was sight she had grown used to now, Adam and Cece had become a staple in her life even if it only has been a month. She couldn't help but feel like she was a part of the family, somehow, even if she wasn't exactly blood-related.

Paloma nodded enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Daddy, dance!" she exclaimed, her arms moving in an attempt to recreate the dance moves she had just seen on the screen.

Adam laughed, sharing an amused look with Cece. "You've been dancing, huh?"

Cece nodded, her smile warm. "She was quite the dancer, just like Belle."

Adam chuckled as he watched Paloma's attempts at dancing. "I see that. Thanks for keeping her entertained, Cece."

"No problem," Cece replied, a light tint of blush coming onto her cheeks. Adam continued to play with Paloma, making her giggle and laugh. Cece watched the father-daughter duo with a fond smile, her heart warmed by the sweet scene before her.

After a quick lunch, Adam had to go back for a team meeting so Cece had to stay with Paloma a bit more, which usually wouldn't have been a problem ─ except now, Paloma had suddenly decided to have a tantrum because of her father leaving.

Cece tried her best to soothe Paloma as Adam prepared to leave for his meeting. She understood how difficult it could be for a toddler when their parent had to leave, especially when they were as attached as Paloma wa.

As Adam headed towards the door, Paloma's cries grew louder, and she reached out for him, tears streaming down her cheeks. Cece held Paloma close, trying to comfort her. "It's okay, sweetie. Daddy will be back soon."

Adam paused at the door, his heart aching as he looked back at his daughter. He wanted to stay and comfort her, but he also knew he had responsibilities. "I'll be back soon, sweetheart," he reassured her, his voice filled with love. "Cece will take care of you."

Cece nodded at that and gave him a quick nod, gesturing for him to leave. He sighed and nodded, exiting the apartment as Paloma's cries continued for a while. Cece did her best to distract her with toys and games, hoping to ease her distress until Adam returned.

They played with her building blocks, read some of her favorite books, and even had a little tea party with her stuffed animals. Slowly but surely, Paloma's tears began to subside, replaced by the occasional hiccup.

Cece kept a watchful eye on the time, knowing that Adam would return from his meeting soon. She didn't want Paloma to be too upset when he got back. As they continued to play, she whispered comforting words to Paloma. "Daddy will be back before you know it, sweetheart. He loves you very much."

Paloma, still a bit sniffly, looked up at Cece with her big blue, teary eyes and nodded. Cece couldn't help but smile at the toddler's resilience. Paloma gave her a whine and gave reached out her arms towards her, gesturing for her to pick her up.

Cece gladly picked Paloma up and held her close, cradling her gently in her arms. Paloma's sniffles gradually turned into contented sighs as she rested against Cece's shoulder.

──

Cece awoke with a jolt as she felt Paloma being carried from her arms and Cece almost screamed until she realized it was just Adam. Relief washed over her as she blinked away the remnants of sleep, "Shit, you scared me."

"Sorry," Adam laughed softly, his voice filled with warmth as he held Paloma against his chest. "I'm back. How was my little princess while I was gone?"

"She was, um... she was good." Cece yawned, her eyes watering at that. Sudden embarrassment washed over her as she realized that she fell asleep on the job but before she had the chance to apologize, it seemed he had read her mind.

"Don't apologize, I get it." Adam offered Cece a reassuring smile as she nodded, gratefully.

"Thank you," she laughed softly as she got up from the sofa, standing in front of him. She never really realized just how tall he was but suddenly, she felt like he was towering over her. Sudden butterflies emerged in her stomach as she looked up at him and they gazed at one another.

"Well─"

"I─"

They both spoke in union before they paused, looking at one another for a second until they laughed. God, they were so in sync. "You, um, you go first," Adam smiled down at her, Paloma looking very pleased with the scene before her.

"I was just gonna say, I have a Chem test tomorrow and I haven't studied for it," she explained groggily, exhaustion clear in her face.

Adam couldn't help but feel disappointment building in his stomach as he heard those words come out of her mouth. "Oh, yeah of course. Go, don't worry, I'll take of our Paloma." It had come out so naturally he almost didn't catch it. Our Paloma. It sounded so... perfect and Adam could feel himself getting used to staying it, our Paloma, our girl.

Luca's words kept repeating in his mind as he waited for her response, "No girls." But as he stared into her eyes, her big, beautiful, deep─

"Yeah, our Paloma," she repeated softly, a warm smile spreading across her face. "Thank you, Adam."

"Of course, no problem. Um, get home safe and good luck on your test tomorrow."

As soon as she reached the door, Paloma whined. You looked back at Adam knowingly as Paloma started reaching for Cece.

"Hey, hey." Adam started trying to distract Paloma which did nothing but make it worse, somehow. "Princess, it's alright, she's coming tomorrow."

Paloma's whines grew louder as she continued to reach for Cece, her little arms outstretched. Adam didn't know what to do; she usually stopped crying after he comforted her, but this time, it seemed she only wanted Cece.

Cece hesitated at the door, torn between her responsibilities and the adorable toddler who clearly didn't want her to go. She looked at Adam with a questioning expression, silently asking for his help.

"It's fine, Cece. I can deal with her." Adam's voice was gentle, and he tried to hide any disappointment he felt about the situation. He walked closer to Cece, giving her an understanding smile. "You should get some rest and study for your test. I've got this."

Cece sighed in relief at Adam's understanding. She bent down and gently placed a kiss on Paloma's forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart," she whispered softly to the toddler before reluctantly stepping out of the apartment.

Adam watched her go, feeling a mixture of gratitude and disappointment. He knew that Cece needed to focus on her studies, but a part of him wished she could stay. He turned his attention back to Paloma, who was still crying in his arms.

"It's just you and me, kiddo," he said with a soft smile, carrying the crying Paloma back to the living room. He was determined to make the evening as comforting (as he could) for his daughter.

As the night wore on, Adam did his best to comfort Paloma. He played with her, read her a bedtime story, and even sang her a lullaby, but nothing seemed to calm her down completely. The toddler's cries continued, growing more tired and desperate as the hours passed.

He felt like he didn't know Paloma anymore, he spent less time with her than he had done in the past. Was he being a terrible dad by prioritizing his career over Paloma? He didn't know, he felt truly helpless as his ears began to sore from the constant crying from his daughter.

It was around 1 am when Adam realized he was at his wit's end. Paloma had been crying for hours, and he was exhausted and frustrated. He felt like he was going to go insane, especially because none of his family was here to give him a break. That was until he remembered: Cece.

He pulled out his phone and sent a text message to Cece, his fingers typing quickly.

Adam: Hey, sorry to bother you, but Paloma won't stop crying, and I don't know what to do.

He felt guilty for even asking, knowing Cece probably has her own worries and problems. But he truly had no one else to turn to, his body sore from practice and he was fatigued from all the crying, on top of everything.

His phone started buzzed almost immediately and he looked at the caller ID: Cece was calling him. He slid to answer,

"Cece, I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"

"No, I've been up." Cece laughed through the speaker. But Adam could hear the exhaustion in her laugh, as much as she tried to hide it.

The guiltiness hit him like a truck when he heard her voice. He almost wanted to cry, "I'm sorry, Cece. I just had... no one else to call who I trusted."

That statement made Cece's heart swell. He trusted her? "Oh, Adam don't apologize. That's what I'm here for. Do you want me to come?"

"No, no. It's too late and I don't want anything to happen."

Another soft laugh escaped her before she started hearing some crying from his side. She was almost concerned, thinking it was him until it registered in her sleep-deprived mind that it was just Paloma. "I'm a big girl Adam, I'll be there in 10."

Before he could protest, she hung up and Adam let out an exhausted sigh before he turned to Paloma, who was still crying. How much tears could one little girl have? Adam thought to himself.

Cece arrived at Adam's apartment right on time, her heart heavy with worry for both him and Paloma. She had come as quickly as she could, not wanting to leave Adam to handle the situation alone any longer. There wasn't any traffic because it was 1 in the morning, the only real plus of this whole thing.

When she entered the apartment, she found Adam sitting on the couch, looking utterly exhausted, with Paloma crying in his arms. She had never seen him so tired, his hair messy and his eyebags visible. Without hesitation, Cece went over and gently took Paloma into her arms.

"Hey there, princess," she cooed softly, rocking Paloma gently. "It's okay, I'm here now. Shhh, it's alright."

Paloma's cries gradually began to subside as Cece worked her magic. Adam watched in awe as the two of them seemed to have an unspoken connection. Cece had gotten Paloma to quiet down after four hours of nonstop crying but Adam was too tired to feel anything but exhaustion. He had been at his wit's end, unable to calm his daughter down, and seeing Cece work her magic with such ease was nothing short of amazing.

"Thank you, Cece," Adam whispered, relief washing over him as Paloma finally began to calm down. He felt a deep sense of gratitude for the young woman who had come to their rescue once again.

Cece smiled warmly at him, despite her feeling just as (if not more) exhausted than him. "No need to thank me, Adam. I'm always here to help." She looked down at Paloma, who was now resting peacefully in her arms. "Besides, I think I've started to become quite attached to her."

Adam couldn't help but chuckle softly at that. He appreciated Cece more than he could express in words. As he looked at her, holding the most precious thing in his world like she was also the most important thing in hers too, he felt his heart do a little loop-di-loop and he couldn't stop it even if he tried.

"Thank you, Cece," he repeated, this time with a warmth and admiration that went beyond words.

"You know, Adam," Cece began softly, her voice barely above a whisper, "I'm here not just for Paloma. I'm here for you too."

Adam's heart skipped a beat at her words. It didn't feel like some grand confession, it felt like just a simple fact. And now, as he gazed back at Cece, he no longer questioned if she was responsible or sweet enough for his daughter, he knew it for a fact.

"I know," Adam's voice sounded even more exhausted than before, smiling back at her.

As Paloma fell asleep in her arms, Cece took a seat next to Adam on the couch. They both knew she wasn't going anywhere for at least a couple hours until Paloma is fully asleep, so she got comfortable.

As Paloma fell asleep in Cece's arms, a sense of calm settled over the room. The exhaustion and tension from earlier seemed to fade away, replaced by a peaceful stillness. Adam and Cece sat side by side on the couch, watching over Paloma as she slept.

In the quiet of the room, they didn't need to say much. Their presence was enough, and it felt strangely comforting. It was as if, in that moment, they were a small, makeshift family brought together by circumstances.

Cece was the first to speak up, her voice tired. "Do you know what Paloma means?"

Adam was too tired to say anything but shake his head as she continued, "It means Dove, I looked it up earlier. Isn't that cute?"

Adam had named her after his great-aunt (per request of his mother) but had always liked the sound of it. He had never thought of looking up the meaning but now that he knows, it's perfect. Dove, Paloma, it was just perfect.

Adam smiled at that. "That's so cute. Our little dove." His head fell on Cece's shoulder as he yawned, his eyes feeling heavy. "Dove, that's a cute nickname."

"We should start calling her that." Cece's eyes suddenly felt heavy too as she yawned along with Adam, nodding.

"Dove," Adam repeated softly, a smile playing at his lips. "I like it. Our little Dove."

Cece nodded in agreement, her voice barely above a whisper. "It suits her."

The exhaustion of the long night finally caught up with them both, and they began to drift into a comfortable silence. Adam rested his head on Cece's shoulder, and she gently leaned into him, their shared warmth and the sense of family they had formed providing a profound a great sense of comfort.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

#jump then fall au #nhl imagine #nhl #nhl fic #hockey #nhl oneshot #nhl fanfiction #hockey fic #adam fantilli #adam fantilli smut #adam fantilli blurb #adam fantilli x reader #adam fantilli imagine #adam fantilli imagines #umich imagines #umich imagine #umich #umich hockey #umich boys #luca fantilli #nhl imagines #nhl angst #nhl hockey #ice hockey #hockey boys

[lilacliquors]

pairing: alejandro vargas x reader

sweet or spicy: spicy

word count: 743

prompt: [LAP]: sender pulls receiver onto their lap

notes: here's day twelve! can't believe we're almost done already, it's been a lot of fun. and im so excited that i got this request bc i love alejandro and think he deserves more love <3

being reunited with your lover was a feeling unlike any other. after the incident in las almas, you were terrified to let alejandro out of your sight for too long. not knowing where graves and his shadows had taken him, had taken the other vaqueros, it was like torture. but when he came back to you … it was like new life had been breathed into you.

the feeling of his arms tight around you was so familiar, yet so foreign. you’d had yourself convinced that you’d never feel the embrace again. but there he was, and this time, he promised you he wasn’t going anywhere. he promised you that as he picked you up and carried you off to his office. he promised you that as he pressed his lips to yours in a feverish kiss. he promised it to you as he set you down on his desk for a brief moment so he could discard his clunkier uniform parts. he wanted little to nothing between the two of you, especially after you almost lost him. and when he came back over to you, he wasted no time in pulling you close. he sat down in his desk chair and pulled you into his lap, letting your legs drape over the arm of the chair as one of his hands came to cup your face. he kissed you deeply, a satisfied groan vibrating in his throat as your hand came up to cup his face, mirroring the way he had his hand on yours. 

your touch was like a soothing balm on his soul, but it also drove him wild. it made him grip you tighter, pinning you down in his lap with another growl. his free hand rubbed your thigh, and he smirked against your lips as your breath hitched in your throat.

“¿te gusta cómo se siente eso?” he whispered, and you nodded quickly, practically whining as he repeated the action. “so desperate for me … if i didn’t know any better, i’d think you were trying to shy away from me.”

your cheeks warmed, and you felt yourself smile against his lips. you kissed him over and over, not letting him get a word in, which only made him chuckle.

“trying to prove me right, aren’t you? trying to show me how desperate you are? how badly you want me? how much you missed me …” his voice trailed off as his hand traveled higher up your thigh, and his hand cupped your clothed pussy. you whimpered softly, and he smirked again, keeping you pinned in his lap, but then he let up slightly.

“get off on my hand, mi paloma. show me how badly you want it.”

his command was clear, but it made you flustered beyond belief. but, you were so lost in the moment that you were quick to oblige. you began to move your hips, applying pressure where you needed it most, and your eyes fluttered shut. you felt his hand leave your face and instead move to stroke your hair, all while he whispered words of encouragement.

“that’s it, there you go,” he murmured, the deep rumble of his voice spurring you on. “show me how much you missed me, how much you missed my hands, my voice …”

your chest heaved as you moved your hips faster, grinding against his hand and whining when you felt him apply a little bit of pressure to you, like a reward for your obedience in the moment. his lips were pressed to your forehead, and you turned your head so you could hide your face against him as your orgasm built up. he continued to smooth down your hair, and he rubbed his hand along your covered pussy, massaging small circles against your clit until he felt your leg muscles tense, and then …

you cried out and tried to close your legs, but he clicked his tongue and kept them apart with the hand that was in your hair, all while his other hand continued to rub against you. you tried curling into him, and he chuckled, watching you squirm in his lap.

“that’s my girl, i think i know she missed me at least a little bit,” he whispered, and you whined softly. 

“not … not fair,” you breathed, and he looked down at you, a fire in his eyes.

“well then, i guess you’ll just have to prove it some more, hm?”

#alejandro vargas #alejandro cod #alejandro vargas smut #alejandro vargas x reader #alejandro vargas sweet and spicy special #lilacliquors

[didhewinkback]

so I love your writing - so much - and I’m brand new to the Harry styles fandom (I’ve admired from afar for years)… could you recommend your favourite writers and fics?? I love your writing so I know that you have to have some good recommendations up your sleeve!!!

omg hiii welcome !! this is so nice and this is my favorite question ever im more than happy to rec bc i am a fic reading machine okay.

so i've listed my faves by my faves as well as their masterlists so you can check out their other works and in reading it back i realize instead of making you a quick easy go-to guide to my fave fics i've written you a novel with soooo many recs. god bless and godspeed and i hope you enjoy !!

(in no particular order)

tis the damn season by @harrytheehottie i love el's writing so so much so its tough to pick a fave bc spinning out is really such a close second but these two mean everything to me, i just love their dynamic and the strong characterizations and the drama !! here's her masterlist, you really cant go wrong here they're all fireeee

hazy by @oh-honey-styles i am a self proclaimed anne stan so picking a fave is super difficult but hazy just sneaks above the rest for me because i just love them and i loove how harry is written here check out her masterlist tho but they are all so so good anne's writing is everything

lighthouse by @for-fucks-sake-h okay my fave of anna's changes allll the time but i did rec jamaica me happy last time so lighthouse wins this round but also all of their one shots/ blurbs are so good too i think about la paloma and never coming back down all the time. check out her masterlist as well u are guaranteed to find ur own fave

the close quarters series by @andwhenshesays was everything to me in 2020 but also you have to read trick of the light & have ur life changed (i can't find kate's masterlist but all of their fics are top tier so go poke around there)

all things yet to come by @soysauceharry is one of my favorite fics i've ever read and i come back to it often, amina has such a way with language and love stories that make it such a delightful re-read, i find new favorite lines all the time. check out their masterlist bc you really cant go wrong there

a soft place to fall by @hslllot i love it so much and can't wait to read more of it. it is such a lovely world to dive into, a perfect escape and shan has a really lovely way with the characters. check out their masterlist bc its toooo too good

the last line by @harry-on-broadway okay im a big tying you to me girl but this new series by sarah was so good, really fun dynamic between penny and harry and lots of fun drama. a really fun read, check out their masterlist too everything is so good

cavalcami by @all-things-fic ohhh i just adore liz's writing it was actually impossible to just rec one, im really partial to the quarantine harry series as well. i just reallly love the relationship dynamics they explore so well, each fic is such a lovely journey and also hot as hell most of the time not gonna line. you can find their masterlist here

infatuation on a mutual level by @harrygoeswest i really loooved this one by katie its so lovely and sweet and fun, i read it in one sitting i was truly hooked, i can't find a way to link her other stories in one go but check them out they're all great!!!

cloudbusting by @starsstruck is one of my all all time faves, i re-read it often. its such a lovely story with really interesting characters and a really lovely love story that makes you want to scream in the best way possible. charlotte has a way of writing really palpable chemistry, i can't find a way to link a masterlist of hers but one of her shorter fics blue dream is one of my faves as well

if you're looking for something shorter and sweet that will make u sweat pls check out our queen of the blurbs @harrysblackcoat nikki alwaysssss brings the fire with her blurbs, which you can find all of them right here it is actually impossible for me to choose a fave but i think of this one often lhh 4ever

ugh a lot of my other faves have since deleted which i respect and understand and also i have just recommended you about 600,000 words to read so godspeed lmk what you think, also if you read any of their works be sure to shoot them a message it really means soooo so much when readers reach out to say what they've liked about the fics!!

#this was in my inbox and i have just been working away at it sry for the delay !!! #wow check out this list of my favesssss #fic rec #i had to keep reading it bc its so damn long sos #mellifluoushood

[shadowlali]

mi vida, mi paloma - part II

COD - Rudy Parra x fem!reader (Part II) | Alejandro Vargas x fem!reader (Part I)

[18+] wc: ~900 masterlist

warnings: mostly SFW (but still marking it as 18+ just in case), some proofreading, no use of Y/N nor too many details on reader’s appearance (Rudy is taller than reader), pet names (paloma, palomita), let me know if i forgot anything a/n: a two part request from this ask. it is two separate stories. this is all written in Rudy’s POV. also a reference to girl dinner except it's girl lunch hehe. hope you enjoy!

Rudy curses as he drops his keys on your welcome mat. He holds a giant pink box in one hand and his helmet in the other. He places his helmet on the floor and picks up his keys to quietly open your door. You texted him that you were planning on taking a nap after having a rough morning but he could go ahead and let himself in. Rudy manages to bring in all his stuff without making too much noise and kicks off his boots. 

He pushes the door open to your bedroom and is met with different shades of pink silk and satin. You're sleeping soundly wrapped in a fluffy blanket with rain sounds playing from your speaker on the nightstand. Rudy stares for a few moments in awe, wondering how he could be so lucky to find someone like you. He thinks about taking off his jeans and leather jacket to join you in bed but decides against it, not wanting to wake you. 

Rudy places the pink box on the chair by your vanity and quietly closes the door behind him. He knows the way around your home just like you know your way around his. He sees a new addition to the photos on your shelf, one of you and him on his motorcycle. The nervousness from his gift dissipates while looking at the photo. She’s going to like it, he thinks.  

He takes off his leather jacket and places it on the couch while he decides what to make you for lunch. Rudy stops in front of the stove and chuckles lightly as he sees the cinnamon rolls sitting in a glass cake stand. You hate cinnamon with a passion while he loves cinnamon. He was more than ready to give up cinnamon in order to date you, but on the 3rd date you surprised him with a delicious batch of homemade cinnamon rolls. 

Since then, you don’t mind baking him pastries or sweet breads with cinnamon as long as he rinses his mouth with mouthwash before kissing you. It is a compromise he happily makes every time. Rudy opens the fridge and begins to take out some fruit and cheeses then crackers from your cupboard. He finds it funny how you can eat what he considers snacks as a meal. Knowing he’s going to need more sustenance, he takes out the prosciutto as well. 

Rudy busies himself with cutting the apples and strawberries into smaller pieces and arranging them on a board. It’s slightly disordered and not as pretty as you usually make it but he hopes you’ll still like it. He thinks about all the times he makes you food or buys you gifts. You’re more delicate and careful when putting together stuff for him, making everything look perfect. But when you accept something from him, a bow on the gift box slightly askew or some fruit cut in uneven pieces, you still give him a sweet kiss and thank him for taking the time to prepare something for you. 

Rudy places the board in the fridge while he washes the dishes and cleans up the counter. He’s drying his hands when he hears your bedroom door open. 

“Rudy? Are you here?” you call out in the sleepy voice he loves so much. 

“Sí, paloma,” he responds,” in the kitchen.” 

He hears you walk then stop for a few moments in the living room until you appear in the kitchen doorway. A sight for sore eyes, you're wearing the present he bought you: brand new pink and black motorcycle helmet. You put on his oversized leather jacket, standing barefoot and pretty just for him. You do a few poses for him, making him laugh then run into his arms. He wraps his arms around your smaller frame and you say a series of thank you, thank you, thank you, I love it so much. 

“De nada, paloma,” he says while gently taking off the helmet to place a kiss on your mouth. “I like the outfit too, you should wear this more often.” [You’re welcome]

You laugh into his kiss while he tugs the bottom of your tiny cotton shorts. “I love you, Rudy. You didn’t need to buy me a new helmet, the other one was just fine. But thank you, baby boy.” 

He groans at the nickname you call him, outwardly showing embarrassment but loving it every time you call him that. “I love you too, palomita. The other helmet was too old and scratched. I saw this one and immediately thought of you. I wanted your first helmet to be perfect.”

The helmet you’d been wearing was one of his. While you were the first and now the only person allowed to ride his bike and wear his helmets aside from himself, Rudy wanted to buy you something of your own. He isn’t going to tell you just yet, but he’s already looking for a leather jacket similar to his. 

“It is perfect, baby boy,” you whisper as you tilt your head up to give him another long kiss. “Did you see the cinnamon rolls I made you, did you like them?” 

“I haven’t tried them yet,” he laughs at your pout,” because I was making us lunch, go sit and I’ll bring it over.” 

The new helmet is left on the kitchen counter as you and Rudy have lunch together. You stay in his leather jacket and laugh at his silly jokes, the rough morning already forgotten.

- - - 

If you are interested in reading the first part with Alejandro's fluff, here is the link

#rudy parra #rudy parra x reader #rudy parra x female reader #cod x reader #cod mw2 x female reader #shadowlali

[captainsy-cookiemonster]

Random Escaped Audios character headcanons (semi domestic... Idk?)

Escaped and Jean sleep with socks on, a habit they picked up in prison.

Escaped also sleeps with the mask on sometimes. And only in his boxers... And socks. Sexy. Seductive, even. 😂

Jean sleeps in whatever he wore that day minus the pants. Crinkled dress shirts all the way. (if he even gets sleep that is) On really bad days, before the intern, he just threw on pants the next day and was ready to go. (yes he did shower... But he put his old clothes back on)

Precious baby boy Ivan (actually adorable dilf... ESCAPED NO YOU DID NOT SEE THAT!!!😳) sleeps in matching pyjama sets and even got some for Raven and Paloma so they all three can match! of course the pj's are bird themed!

Now that I'm on a "what they wear to bed" trip... Alphonso does the classic t-shirt and boxers combo, jogging pants if he's cold. Plus a hoodie if he's really cold. Which is rare. Or... Well... His slayer uniform.

Benji does the t-shirt boxer combo too. All year. He mostly wears his old college (or band👀) tees to sleep.

You cannot convince me Crow "i don't have use for t-shirts" doesn't (didn't 😢) sleep butt ass naked. Either that or fully... Clothed? As clothed as he is. Leather harness shoulder bracer and all. There's no in between.

Enough of the sleep hc's... 🙈 Onto the random stuff

Nap dates with Jean!

Escaped has a sweet tooth. Also LOVES home cooked meals. After all the junk in prison, he loves the times in between where he gets to eat real food. If he could choose between take out or home cooked it's home cooked all the way. (one of the goons is a fantastic cook)

He misses his mom's food, though.

Escaped does finger guns all. The fucking. Time. Like...🧍‍♂️... 👉👉...🧍‍♂️

Alsoooo... Escaped and spiderman kisses!

I have many feelings about our slutty villain soo... He's a cuddler. Big time. Won't admit it, but likes being the little spoon (kinda mentioned in the audio). Will also lie on top of you if he catches you lying around, and put his head on your tiddies or tummy.

Crow has one of those photo calendars on his desk. It's with cats. Doesn't use it for calendar stuff... Only has it for the pictures. Gets new ones every year but keeps the old ones in a drawer in his desk.

Benji, our precious marine biologist (yes shh i know it's not exactly his job), is the same but with sea animals.

Also... Benji makes mixtapes. Not just early into the relationship, but also after he got married. It's his anniversary gift. Literally spends all year compiling a playlist, and a movie watchlist for datenights!

Picnic beach dates with Benji!

And forest or bird watching dates with Ivan (birbs☺️)

Also 100% convinced Ivan manages to befriend the crows he's feeding & playing with and they bring him gifts in return.

Jean likes his hair to be played with. (shout out to @stupd000 for saying he likes having his hair pulled🙈)

He also learns more songs on the ukulele and he and the intern sing together. Not very well, but it's cute. When the singing gets too bad, one would just kiss the other to shut them up.

Alphonso keeps souvenirs of the places he visits on hunts and keeps them in his room at the slayers' stronghold when he's there.

Jean is a bit jittery from all the coffee he drinks. Goes through withdrawl after escaping the mafia. But now he's down to the normal amount of coffee for a day (like... 2-4 cups a day)

Ivan will come and wrap his arms around your waist and rest his head on your (Raven's) shoulder while you two cook together. Will steal bits of food, too.

Ivan does wood carvings sometimes. He carved a little raven for Raven. Paloma painted it hot pink, she's very proud of it!

Once at safety, Jean adopts a stray dog... which turn into three.

Ivan will totally bring home injured animals (especially, ofc, birds) and nurse them back to health.

Okay I think that's all I can come up with for now

#Escaped audios #Against the World #the neon barbarian #neon wings #matador gothic #the new jersey rats #chronus seven #audio rp #audio roleplay #escaped audios headcanons

[dearestgojo]

Religiosa

Aki x Fem reader

A/n: was listening to Religiosa by Paloma Mami when this popped into my head.

Warnings: 18+. Smoking. Shotgunning. Fingering. Ab riding. Spit. Hair pulling. Multiple orgasms.

Wc: 1.3k | CSM Masterlist | Main Masterlist

You sit at the edge of the bed, legs straddling Aki's lap as you he smokes the cigarette between his lips, breathing the smoke out through his nose. His dark blue eyes look up at you through the mess of hair that falls into his eyes, finger rubbing circles at the small of your back as he noses at your neck, peppering kisses along the exposed kiss. You squirm above him, tangling your hands in his hair, pulling slightly, the groan that he lets out when you do traveling down to your groin. 

You're getting restless, an hour of sitting on his lap, watching as he lights another smoke, fingers teasing the hem of your dress, it was becoming too much. There's an ache between your legs, slowly grinding yourself down on his covered crotch, the seam bumping on your clit. Aki's hand comes to grab onto your hip, stopping you. 

"Be good," he warns, his hand coming up to take yours out of his hair, bringing the cigarette back to his lips and pulling you closer to his face. He drops your hand and reaches up to pull on your bottom lip, running his thumb over it before bringing his hand around to the back of your head. Forcing your lips to meet his.

The smoke enters your mouth as his tongue does, the taste of the tobacco filling your taste buds mixed with the taste of something that is purely Aki. You do your best not to squirm as the tips of his fingers skim the bottom of your dress where it rides up. Stay as still as possible as his tongue tangles itself with yours, coating the corners of your lips with spit. Not follow after his lips when he pulls back to take another hit, shotgunning that one into your mouth also as his hand travels higher up your dress. It's hard to not wiggle on top, to not grind your aching clit on the bulge that pressing against you, but you manage to do so, keen for the praises that would follow. 

Aki pulls back, reaching behind you for the nightstand, pressing the cigarette on it while the other comes up to cup your chin. He praises you, reaching to push the hem of the skimpy dress you were wearing up further, "You did so well, staying still," his fingers dance beneath the front of your dress, "Think you deserve a reward?" 

You nod your head, feeling at a loss for words, mind filled with the thoughts of everything he would do to you. You had never been a religious person, not one to dwell on whether there was a heaven or a hell, but sitting here on Aki's lap, deep into the night and early morning, you would say he was your heaven on Earth. If anything could get you to believe that there was something beyond death it would be the way he would slowly drag out things, making you feel as if you were experiencing torture in hell as he took his time with your body. And the soft way his lips would brush against the column of your neck, fingers finally pulling your panties aside to play with your clit, well you were in heaven as you fell apart in his fingers. Aki was the only thing in this world and in the other that you were sure of.

You let out a sigh as you feel his lips press against your collarbone, closing your eyes and letting the sweetness of the moment over you. Letting him take his time with removing your dress, pressing your forehead against his when his fingers push your red panties to the side. "Feels good, Aki," you whisper, grinding down on his fingers as he starts to rub small tight circles, your fingers threading back up to his hair. 

He is kissing the junction of your neck, his free hand resting on your back, toying with the clasp of your bra. "Yeah?" he asks, looking up at you when you pull his hair, facing twisting as he feels his scalp sting, "maybe I should stop since your deciding on being naughty."

You smile down at him, grinding down harder on his fingers, chasing the release of the knot in your stomach. "You like it when I pull your hair," you sigh, face starting to burn and the insides of your thighs feeling slicker. Your grip on his hair gets tighter when his fingers push past your tight entrance, warm walls squeezing around his fingers.

"Can't argue much with you there," he groans, moving his fingers in and out, making sure the heel of his palm stimulates your clit as he reaches for your soft spot. 

It doesn't take much longer for you to fall apart, your mouth falling open a silent moan caught in the back of your throat as you move on his fingers. Aki watches with admiration, ignoring the burning of you gripping his hair, running his tongue on his bottom lip, and thinking of the other things he would do to you before the sun rose.

Your huffing as you come down from your high, burying your face in his neck, breathing the scent of his cologne and the lingering aroma of smoke. Aki meanwhile rubs circles on your inner thighs, massaging them and squeezing the fat between them. When your breathing evens out, he pushes your face out from his neck, pressing a kiss on your lips, and letting your foreheads rest together.

"Think you can give me one more?" You nod your head, eager to have more of him, to touch the clouds at heaven's gate. Giving you one more peck, he pulls back, pulling his shirt over his head and laying back. You start to shimmy up to his face, thinking he wants you to sit on it, but he stops you when your wet folds reach his abdomen, "Want to try something he says, confusion contorting on your face as he wraps his fingers around the flimsy material of your underwear and ripping it, tossing the ruined pair across the room. You let a gasp, your hips, and thighs burning a bit from where the material dug into your skin, the walls of your pussy clenching at the show of strength. Beneath you Aki starts to instruct you on what he wants you to do, pressing a kiss to your knuckles, "Just grind down on my stomach, if it doesn't feel good we can stop. 'kay?"

You nod your head, clearing the back of your throat, "Okay." 

Aki situates himself against a pillow, his hands finding your hips, "Ready?"

You nod, letting your weight rest fully on him, hands resting on his pecs, slowly gliding yourself on his stomach. The ridges of his abs rubbing against your folds and bumping against your clit. You were unsure at first, watching your slick coat him, not getting quite enough friction. But you slowly start to get the gist of it, grinding down hard, letting your clit run against his hard abs, raising your hips slightly to bring them down. It reminds you of a time when the only thing that could provide relief for you was the edge of a pillow. The only difference now is that the pillow beneath you provides body heat.

The knot in the pit of your belly starts to tighten again, embarrassment burning throughout your face as Aki watches you coming undone from this, his tongue running against his bottom lip. "I'm close," you announce, legs trembling.

Aki's breathing through his nose, his hand reaching down to rub your clit again, swallowing the spit in his mouth. "Then come from riding my abs," he commands, fingers pinching your clit, pushing you over the edge. You shake and fall down on him, legs trembling as your orgasm washes over you. Aki reaches up to cup your face, thumb forcing your mouth open before he drops the spit he had filled his mouth while watching you leave slick trails on his stomach. 

He doesn't wait for you to finish coming, already hooking your leg over his hip, pulling at the waistband of his pants, muttering, "Just a few more."

#aki smut #aki hayakawa smut #aki x reader #aki x reader smut #chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man smut #csm x reader #csm smut

[elinoracia]

🕷🕸 MY SPIDERSONA // Tarentule 🕸🕷

→ Let me introduce you to my Spidersona: Tarentule!

Ref sheet + infos :

● Spider-name: Tarantula (in english) // Tarentule (in french) // Tarantel (in german) ● Universe: Earth-9 // Switzerland ● Full name: Paloma Pey ● Age: Between 20 and 25 ● Love interest(s): Garson Stein or Mateo-James Wagner (love triangle) // Miguel O'hara (after being recruited) ● Job outside of superhero activities: Receptionnist

If you want to know more about her ↓

Personality, appearance and more :

● Friends: She is usually very shy and doesn't have many friends. But her best friend is Neon-Spider (oc/spidersona who belongs to luma_oku on instagram). She met her at the Spider Society (Earth-928B) after being recruited by Miguel O'hara. She also became friends with Pavitr Prabhakar and Miles Morales. ● Canon events: Being bitten by a radioactive tarentula, The death of her first best friend (Diana Dixon), the loss of her mother and the death of her second love interest (Garson Stein) because she couldn't save him. ● Personality: She used to be very bubbly and social but the death of her best friend (Diana Dixon) changed this aspect of her character. She is now quite scared to form meaningful bonds with people and is very shy and anxious around anyone who tries to talk to her. She still likes to crack some stupid jokes sometimes (only when she wears the mask). However, with her few close friends, she is very sweet and affectionate. ● Appearance: She has long brown hair with greenish hazel eyes. She is 5'6 (167 cm). She has a beauty mark under both of her eyes. ● Likes: The color pink, her family (father, sister and brother), cats, spicy food, shrimps and ice creams. ● Dislikes: Feeling anxious, loneliness, the color orange, celery, very loud noises and agressive people.

What inspired her design and spider-suit :

● Black cat: She was my main inspiration because I just love her vibe so much. ● Black/Venom spidersuit: I actually bought this suit (not me in the picture) and I wore it to multiple conventions so it just reminds me good memories. ● Fluffy fashion: I am obsessed with fluffy/fuzzy clothes. So cute. ● Black tarentula: She is just so massive and pretty. Love her :) ● Me: Yes! The last inspiration for my Spidersona is me! (✿◡‿◡) Anyone can wear the mask so I decided to strongly base this oc on me and how I actually look like!

Fun facts about Tarentule :

● She absolutely hates the color orange. She feels nauseous just by looking at a bright orange color. ● She paints on her free time! She mostly paints landscapes because everytime she tries to paint people it ends up not good enough. ● Since she was 18, she was really close to two boys. Garson Stein or Mateo-James Wagner. While Mateo and her were on and off, she fell in love with Garson. She had to choose between the two boys. In the end, she put an end to her on and off relationship with Mateo to be with Garson. He then died after an attack of the Green Goblin. ● When she was personally recruited by Miguel, she eventually grew closer to him. She was always trying her best on missions to impress him and make him notice her. She learnt to love again after everything she went through even if Miguel's feelings towards her are still unknown. ● Her favorite song is "Can't help falling in love with you" by Elvis Presley. ● She is almost like a big sister to Miles. She always tries to make him feel better and to give him advice. She sees herself in him and that's why she wants to support him as much as possible and not make him feel like the outcast.

#spidersona #spiderman oc #spiderman original character #tarentule #spiderman #spiderman into the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #oc #miguel o'hara #miles morales #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara x spidersona #spider gwen #spiderverse fanart #spider punk #hobie spiderverse #spiderverse spoilers #pavtir prabhakar #gwen stacy #peter b parker #hobbie brown #miguel ohara #spider man 2099 #spider verse #across the spider verse #into the spiderverse

[morganas-pendragons]

Fruits Of My Labor | Aemond Targaryen

I was blasting Fruits by Paris Paloma when I wrote this and came up with this idea in the shower. This will contain MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS FOR WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN HOUSE OF THE DRAGON. IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILED, DO NOT READ IT. I did change two things in this as compared to Fire and Blood. 

Enjoy! I’m excited to see what you guys think. This is my first time writing for this universe other than for Jaime Lannister! 

Edit: This literally took me over a week because having a full time job is so time consuming lol 

You should have known better. You were a true born Velaryon, a daughter of the sea and a fearsome dragon rider. You were smart. Fierce. Deadly. 

But you were also a child. A child who had lost her older brother and sister and mother. 

Your cousins. Your life. 

Your family had been your livelihood for so long that you didn’t know how to live without them. Your mother’s comfort, your sisters compassion, your brothers steadfastness, your father’s loyalty. 

You’d take them in all their faults for even a moment if it took your focus off of what fueled you when they were no longer around: Your anger. 

And oh.. you were so prone to your anger. 

***

Blood and Cheese 

When word got back to you about the atrocities committed against Helaena Targaryen, you were furious. Fuming. It had been a long time since someone had been able to provoke you to such rage. 

You understood, and yet you didn’t. A son for a son. Did Rhaenyra not give any considerations to her half-sister? Aegon may be the subject of her ire, but Helaena Targaryen had done nothing to provoke being witness and victim to such levels of cruelty. 

You couldn’t imagine it. So you made Rhaenyra imagine it for you, while your mother stood in the back of the room and bore witness to the dragon fire that lay deep within you. 

  “The gall you have..” You murmur, drawing Rhaenyra and Daemon’s attention where they stand by the fireplace. “Do you realize what you just did?” 

  “They took my son.” Rhaenyra snaps, harsh and cold, the eyes of a grieving mother staring back at you. “Which is something you could not begin to fathom, seeing as how your betrothal ended so abruptly.” 

Oh. That’s wonderful. So now she’s going to use Alicent breaking off your betrothal against you as well? 

  “No, no I didn’t. But at least my children would have been legitimate,” You snarl. Daemon steps forward to intervene, as he always does when it comes to Rhaenyra, but you slamming your fist against the painted table stops him in his tracks. “Did you even consider the ramifications of this, Rhaenyra? Jahaerys was innocent!”

 “The Greens took Visenya and Lucerys from me. They killed my children. It is only fitting that retribution be paid through the loss of their own son!” 

  “Helaena will never be the same again because of what you took from her! You took your vengeance upon a girl who did not deserve it. She was sweet. Sweet, and good, and loved by the commoners. One of my dearest friends.” You jab your thumb at Rhaenyra angrily, eyes lit by the firelight of the candles around the painted table as the two of you stand off against one another. “You took her child away and ruined her. Whatever blood falls upon us now? That’s on you.” 

Rhaenyra is left to hear one final curse before you flee the room, Daemon’s hand resting upon her shoulder to prevent her from following you. 

Things are never quite the same after that. It’s only days later that Meleys is paraded through King’s Landing and your mother’s body lay broken and unmoving after the Battle of Rook’s Rest. 

There’s no one left to temper your anger. 

So, for the rest of the war, that is what fuels you. Your anger and your grief. 

If it gets the job done, who cares what it does to you? 

Anger always wins. 

***

The last time you saw Rhaenys Targaryen, she’d bid you goodbye with a kiss to your forehead and tucked her favorite cloak around your shoulders. It had always been two sizes too big.

She’d whispered affirmations about your future and how proud she was of you in your ear before she walked out the main doors of Dragonstone to Meleys.

You never saw her again.

***

She died less then 24 hours later.

Rhaenyra was the one who told you about Aemond’s involvement in it.

He’d played a hand.

He’d killed your mother.

***

You spent the days following your mothers death weeping, clutching the fabrics of your favorite cloak she often wore when you were a child in trembling fingers. You mourned her presence. Her comfort. You often wished you could join her just to be free of the Dance. 

To be free of him. 

You were a child, and children are impressionable. That was why you loved him. Even when you truly, deeply loathed him for all the pain he caused you and your family. 

  “My Lady? Are you well?” 

You don’t hear your Lady in Waiting call for you from across the room. There you sit beside the window, frail and well beyond your years, eyes cast upon the waters outside the castle while you linger inside the recesses of your own mind.

The Dance of the Dragons ended a long, long time ago. 

You are the only living survivor.  

Your memories are far more pleasant to live in because they are in all of them. Your family is not reduced to the ghosts you now know them as, but are flesh and blood and so very, very real. 

  “Forgive me, Theah... I was just remembering.” 

  “Remembering what?” 

You smile sadly. Something lingers in your eyes as you meet her gaze - she’s so young and so eager to live a life she hasn’t had the opportunity to greet yet - and you see the same lingering within her own that calls to you. It’s familiar. 

It was the same thing that drew you to Aemond. A desire for adventure, for freedom, for life. 

And well... The Dance kept you confined to your duties and kept you from being able to pursue it. 

  “Remembering a better time, sweet girl.” 

*** 

You remember it vividly. Watching from the scorched beaches while Daemon and Aemond take to the skies above Harrenhal, otherwise known as the God’s Eye, to engage in a fearsome battle neither will emerge from. You know it in your heart of hearts. 

A more innocent part of you that still lingers deep inside aches to go to him. To make him see reason, to convince him to surrender to Daemon and Rhaenyra and just... stop. 

To just let it go. The Green’s haven’t been able to do that once since the Dance started, to submit to the succession of Viserys the First would mean abdicating the throne. 

Otto would never let it stand. His lust for power and influence over Alicent had gotten Aegon the throne and plunged the realm into war over the true successor of the Iron Throne. 

The battle descending from the clouds above you is beautiful, in an incredibly tragic and devastating way. 

Daemon and Aemond are locked in a terrifying battle as they plunge from the clouds, Caraxes and Vhagar desperate to bring the other down first. You watch the dragon’s stomach be torn open. The other ripped at the throat. You can’t bring yourself to look away. These two had been friends once. 

You know there’s nothing you can do to prevent what is about to happen. They both brought it upon themselves. Aemond Targaryen brought this painful, agonizing end upon himself with his involvement in the Dance. 

Your breath catches as Daemon rises from his saddle and lunges across the gap to drive Dark Sister into Aemond’s other eye. There’s nothing you can do. You weren’t even permitted the ability to take part. 

The commoners had seen to that themselves.  They'd mercilessly killed all the dragons who remained in the dragon pit. The numbers were dwindling, growing fewer and fewer as the Dance progressed. Four had fallen. Tyraxes, Morgul, Dreamfyre, and Nightshade. 

When Rhaenyra wailed over the death of Joffery - barely a boy, thrown from Syrax for trying to flee to the dragon pit and rescue his birth right - you were simultaneously crying over the agonizing pain that seared through heart, body, and soul at the loss of your dragon. 

By that time in the Dance, you’d lost nearly everyone within the Blacks. All that remained was your father and Rhaenyra, who were at odds anyway. They had been ever since Rook’s Rest. 

Was this your curse? The last of your House, destined to outlive all the others? Is this what the fruits of your labor as the youngest child of House Velaryon had gotten you? 

It’s over before you realize it. 

This was where they fell.

***

  “What time could have been better? You spent so much of your life engaging in war. You are practically a veteran to it,” Theah absently remarks from your bedside. “I do not envy you. War is-” 

  “Debilitating. Agonizing. Crippling.. suffocating. War tore my Houses apart at the seams and took away everything and everyone I loved,” You interject. “I was thinking about when I was barely a woman grown, not longer after being betrothed to Aemond Targaryen.” 

  “Anything specific?” 

It’s always something specific with your memories with Aemond. They usually take you to the same two places: A little run down shack on the cliffs above the sea, not too far from Driftmark. 

The other is a field of endless wildflowers. 

  “The first time Aemond ever took me away on dragon back was not long after he’d claimed Vhagar. We’d disappeared in the middle of the night from the guards posted outside my door, and I’d guided him back to Driftmark to this little house my mother spent a lot of time in before she married my father. It was very out of the way.” You twist the ring on your finger as you speak, the fading memory of your mother’s face flashing in front of you as you do so. The ring is the last thing you have of Rhaenys. “We spent the night there. I told him I wanted to do it forever. That I wanted to leave behind duties and obligations to experience something I never really got to have. Not like my sister and brother did. My mother doted over me far too much.” 

  “And what was the thing you never got to have?” 

You smile wryly. “My freedom, sweet girl. As I am sure you well understand.” 

Theah goes quiet for several minutes. She was brought to you by Aegon the Third not long after the two of you had met. Once he’d read his mother’s last testament - found in her former chambers in the Red Keep after her death - and found your name written within, he’d sought you out and gave you a Lady in Waiting. It had been freedom for Theah. Being your Lady had gotten her away from the brothels. 

You’d thanked both Viserys and Aegon profusely after that. She may be the only soul left in this world sympathetic to your plight.  

You’d never anticipate them traveling from King’s Landing to Driftmark to see you.

  “Did you think it would last? Your betrothal?” Theah asks. 

 You did. Aemond didn't. He knew the Targaryen customs, he knew his duty. He knew Aegon didn’t want to marry Helaena. 

Alicent had also seen how much you meant to her son.

And that could not stand.

  “I would’ve burned down the world to hand its remains to Aemond Targaryen if he’d asked me to,” Something shifts in your gaze then, something cold and hard and unyielding that most have not seen in you before. It was something you’d only learned to embrace during the Dance of Dragons. “And then he betrayed me.” 

Theah furrows her brow in confusion. “What did he do?” 

Lucerys’ innocent face replaces that of your mother. Another soul lost to the war so many years ago, the first of many. Lucerys’ death had been what catalyzed the beginning of the Dance. 

All at Aemond’s hand.

  “He killed my sweet, innocent cousin. He killed him. Then he played a hand in killing my mother and I never forgave him for it.” You shrug. “That was the beginning of the end for something we’d never get to have anyway.” 

***

The minute Rhaenyra received news about Lucerys, you were quick to have the Maesters write a note that you would be hand delivering to Aemond yourself. You would not give him the satisfaction of being able to speak to you in person after the atrocity he’d just committed. 

Poor Luke. He was a boy. So good, so innocent, desperately trying to do his duty and do right by his mother. 

He wasn’t a warrior. He was a child. 

And Aemond had killed him anyway. 

You leave the note pierced through the center by one of your daggers inside of the shack overlooking Driftmark. When Aemond bursts through the door several hours after fleeing Storm’s End, he finds it and frantically opens the letter to reads the words written upon. 

Aemond, 

You have brought what follows the death of Lucerys upon yourself.

Kesan ilimagho līr iksin dōrī  āzma ezīmagon bisa vys.  Se kesan daor ilimagho ao skori aōha hoskagon maghagon aōha ropagon. 

He swallows the knot in his throat and presses his forehead to the paper.

I will not mourn that which was never born into this world. And I will not mourn you when your pride brings your fall. 

Aemond wishes he was brave enough to tell you like he did in this little house on the cliffs all those years ago. 

But just like the dreams of things that will never come to pass, his harbored desires for you die as he flees the cliffsides to Vhagar. 

The house on the cliffs is never occupied again. 

***

You know when you do find what little remains of him that this is what he wrought. There was nothing to be done. 

Nothing, you think, as you remove Dark Sister from Aemond’s other eye and throw it into the water. 

You don’t unchain him. His body will be found years later still confined to the chains that held him to Vhagar’s saddle. 

It’s... quite fitting, really. Aemond Targaryen - the one who sought freedom - dying confined to both his physical and metaphorical chains made quite a lot of sense. 

The thought of it almost made you smile, despite the tightness in your chest. 

You had wept profusely for your mother. For Laenor, for Laena. You refuse to give Aemond that same satisfaction, despite that part of you from your childhood that still wants to chase him forever. 

The childlike spirits of you and Aemond Targaryen run far away together in a field of wildflowers. Far away from war, from pain and suffering, and.. happy. You’re happy. 

Oh how you wish you could be there. 

You grimace and bend down to cup water in your hands. The air is thick with smoke and difficult to breathe in, but you’re more focused about keeping yourself together then falling apart as realization falls upon you. 

Aemond is dead. 

You should be fine with it. He hurt you irreparably. 

So why does looking at him hurt? Why does thinking about all the things you should’ve gotten to do, to be - as his wife, Aemond would’ve let you be anything you wanted if it meant you were free of your duties and obligations as a Velaryon - cut deeper then the sharpest knife? 

   “I would’ve brought this entire country to its knees for you,” You murmur. The water at your feet is tinged red now. The dragons corpses had been settled in it long enough to stain it red. “But you never could have done the same thing for me.” 

It will be quite some time before either is pulled from the water. You are quick to leave - unable to do so on dragon back, since almost all the dragons have been killed by now - by horseback to Driftmark. You and your father are the last Velaryons, and he had made it clear you were to not be directly involved on the fronts of the war anymore. 

It didn’t mean you wouldn’t send Alicent a parting gift first. 

***

  “Were you there when the Dowager Queen died?” 

  “Oh no, but I sent my regards. She got what she deserved. You reap what you sow.”

The regard in question: Aemond’s sapphire eye, taken out with your own fingers, and his sword - both recovered from the body that you left chained to Vhagar. 

You hadn’t been present for most of what happened after the God’s Eye. You’d gone straight back to your father in Driftmark, where he forced you to remain until the end of the war. Corlys was not about to let anything else happen to his family like it had Baela, Rhaena, Rhaenys, Laena and Laenor. 

He’d pass peacefully in his sleep some years later. 

When Alicent Hightower died around the same time, you lit a single candle and placed it in your window. You didn’t mourn her. You hoped she was suffering the same way she’d allowed you and your family to suffer. 

The flame flickered out, and the last of House Velaryon stood. 

*** 

Someone else has entered the room. You’re not sure who, given that your chambers are mostly off limits, and Driftmark is scarcely occupied these days. You pay no mind to it when Theah stands in the midst of your conversation to go and greet your guests. They must be important if your guards let them pass. 

It was only recently that you’d been declared unfit to rule Driftmark. It was never supposed to be yours anyways, but with the lack of heirs and the death of your House, it had gone to you anyway. 

With your passing would also be the end of House Velaryon, never to be remembered as anything other than the House dragged into the darkness with House Targaryen after effectively tearing each other apart. 

  “My dearest one,” Your eyes snap open. It’s been so long since you’ve heard that voice. “The years have been kind to you. You look peaceful.” 

  “The years kept me from you, Mother.” You whisper. “Especially when I needed you most.” 

Rhaenys is the one you keep seeing, both in your waking and dreaming moments. It’s cruel. It’s cruel knowing she’s the only family member to appear to you when so many others could be the the ones to guide you home. Out of this darkness and into the waking light. 

It would be so much better where you were going. 

  “I have waited so long for you to come home to your family.” Rhaenys murmurs, and you find yourself unintentionally leaning outward in search of her touch when her hands extends toward you. “I’m sorry to have left you behind.” 

It didn’t matter. You had sought vengeance for your mother’s death once and for all when the list of living Targaryens dwindled and left so few alive. 

No one ever did find out who poisoned Aegon the Usurper. 

In the corner, Theah stands frozen at the sight of who lingers in the doorway. “Your Grace,” She murmurs in shock, clearly unsure of what to do. “This is a most unexpected surprise. For both Targaryen brothers to be here-” 

Aegon the Younger holds up a hand. He’d only just recently been granted the time to read his mother’s last testament. After being present at the time of her death, it had taken decades for him to gather the courage to even go near the document she’d left behind for her sons. 

That was why he’d let Viserys read it first. That was what led them here. 

  “My Hand and I have come to express our thanks to the last Lady of House Velaryon,” Aegon remarks. “As our mother had asked of us. According to her last testament, she is also the last survivor of the Dance of Dragons who fought on the front lines of the war. We wish to extend our gratitude for all she's done since.” 

Behind her stands Rhaenyra. She’s the same age as she was when she was killed by Aegon, wearing your favorite hairstyle and dress that you’d thought always complimented her so well. You want to think her stare of longing is directed at you. 

It’s not. 

She’s looking at her sons. 

  “My boys. My beautiful boys,” She whispers, coming to stand beside Rhaenys. “Tell them I’m proud of them.” 

So you do. You tell Viserys and Aegon that you can see their mother, as clear as the last time you ever saw her, and that she is sorry for all the suffering they endured during The Dance of Dragons. That she’s proud of who they became and how they honor their family. 

You miss the single tear that falls down both faces at the confession. 

*** 

  “It’s coming.” Viserys the Second murmurs, crossing his arms over his chest as both he and Theah watch you from the side of the room. Aegon is quietly murmuring to you from your bedside. Ever since you’d told the brothers that their mother was proud of them, Viserys had known deep within him that you were not long for this world. 

  “What?” 

  “The end.” 

Aegon feigns a warm smile as he squeezes your hand. “Our mother spoke highly of you, My Lady,” He whispers. “I hope now that you can find some peace of mind.” 

You don’t answer him. You’re too busy reaching, reaching, reaching for your mother’s hand that you’ve so longed to ache for the last several decades that have passed since the end of the Dance. 

  “My love.” A whisper echoes in your ear as you sigh softly, the rise and fall of your chest slowing as Aemond slowly appears in your peripheral. He’s still the same age he was when he died. “Come home to us. Let me make it right.” 

A single tear rolled down your cheek.

  “Can we go to the wildflowers?” You whisper. “And the cliffside overlooking the ocean?” 

  “It’s beautiful here. There’s no pain. No pain, anger, no blood, no suffering... No obligations to our duties.” Aemond extends his hand. “Your mother is waiting for you in the house on the cliffside. A field of wildflowers awaits us. There’s so many to choose from. Come home.” 

  “Aemond...” 

  “I’m ready to love you the way you always desired. I just never knew how. I do now. And I regret every moment that has passed since I cast you aside.” His eye softens. There’s something about him that just seems... gentler. It’s an odd contrast to how you knew him when he was alive. “Come home.” 

Hm. You’d thought that the fruits of your labors over the last decades had rotted and died, leaving you with nothing. No legacy, no heirs, no one left to remember your name. There had been no point to all the fighting for you because you’d lost anyway. There was never a war to be won because it was always going to be lost. 

The Dance of Dragons had effectively torn apart House Targaryen at the seams. 

Maybe your fruits were ripe and you just didn’t know it. You know that all the people you love are waiting for you. That the current king on the Iron Throne knows you well - because his mother had taken careful care to write about you in her last testament - and his brother holds you in high regard. That your Lady in Waiting knows your story and all the horrors that fall upon it. About how you endured and survived, how resilient you became, how you spent the rest of your days ensuring people would not forget the name Velaryon. 

Your last wish for Westeros was to make sure people remembered. Not your name, but your mothers name. Your fathers name. 

They deserved the credit and legacy far, far more than their headstrong daughter driven by the anger that came from duty. 

  “I’m coming, Mother.” You whisper once again, eyes falling closed. “I’m coming, My Love.” 

Your hand falls limp in Aegon’s. No one will admit it, but something dies in both of Rhaenyra Targaryen’s sons that day. They’d had so much still to learn about the mother they barely remembered. To have someone who knew her first hand and had cared deeply for her had prompted them to pursue a relationship with the Heir to Driftmark. 

You knew their story, their mother, better than they ever would. 

   “The Realm has lost quite a woman today,” Viserys murmurs, swallowing the knot in his throat as he presses his hands to Aegon’s shoulders. Theah can’t help but shift uncomfortably. She feels like she’s intruding on a private moment she cannot comprehend. “May the Seven bring her the peace she was never able to find in this world.” 

When the Silent Sisters tend to your body, a single crown sits upon it at completion. 

People would know the Heir of Driftmark died today. 

And so the last of the Sea Snake’s line would cease. 

#Aemond Targaryen #Aemond Targaryen x Reader #House of the Dragon #HOTD #GOT

[shesjustanothergeek]

His Love

|Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader|

Part Seventeen

Masterlist of Series

Summary: Being a bastard born in the slums of Flea Bottom was all you were known for. Not the streak of white you had in your dark hair, the violet ring around your pupils, or how your sharp tongue and skills with the blade resembled your father, Daemon Targaryen. You were just a bastard, nothing more, but to him, to Aegon Targaryen, you were everything. You were his love.

Author's Note: Okay… so I lied again. The feast isn't going to be this chapter, either. It's going to be a chapter in and of itself. It will be the next one, though. I promise! Also, as I was writing this, I was like, "Viserys is technically her uncle, but Rhaenyra is her adopted mother, so, like, he's technically her uncle-grandpa." Have to love that Targaryen family tree/circle. Thank you for reading and being kind about the lack of drama!

Chapter Warnings: Covert manipulation

"How you fell in love with your reflection in the water, I will never know How you could mistreat such a wife and a daughter, I will never know You leaned so close  The water touched your nose The greed in your eyes, they could see it from below The ones who came before Who waded from the shore And plunged into the cold and murky world And seen no more." - Narcissus, Paris Paloma

The hands of sleep had barely wrapped their claws around you as the morning songs of Goldenfinches and Blackbirds traveled through the air, their chirps sounding like a conversation between two beings, a conversation in which you did not want to hear with such little rest.

As your maids entered through the large oak doors of the guest chamber, you groaned in annoyance, snatching the extra feather pillow on your bed and smothering it over your ears. You wanted to escape the endless windstorm in your mind-- to evade all thoughts of duties, responsibilities, and memories that plagued you throughout all hours of the night and forbade you from the sweet embrace of rest.

"Sleep avade you, my Lady?" Fiora inquired, seaming to glide through the air to open your forest green curtains.

You grumbled, flopping onto your stomach as you pressed the soft cushion harder.

"I've gathered you're not the morning bird, your Grace, but must we do this everyday?" Jeyne asked, already at her wits end with your childish antics.

"Leave me here to rot," you whined, voice muffled by the thick fabric. There was silence in the rude morning ritual, and you gradually let the tiredness pull you back under.

Jeyne tsked as only a mother would when you refused to move, ripping the blankets off your toasted body with a gust of cold air. Reflexively, your legs recoiled, shrieking at the loss of your comforting sheets as you shouted in protest.

"I could have your hand for that!" Your voice was monotone as you flipped over, removing the pillow and flinging it toward her. "I could make sure none of you worked another day here for the rest of your life."

Fiora only giggled, knowing you were not serious, as Jeyne scolded you with her fists on her waist. Although Dyana appeared somewhat scared, tossing the eldest maid an uneasy glance as she busied herself with gathering the supplies and implements to ready you for the day, a slight tremble in her hands.

"I only jest, Dyana. You must realize I would never do such a thing to you all," you told her, sitting upright in bed as you stretched your upper body. "Besides, no one would take my word seriously. I am but a humble bastard, trying to make her way in a world of uptight cunts that would keel over if they saw a woman in trousers."

Jeyne scoffed at the vulgarity of your words but had a hint of a grin on her lips as Fiora chuckled. The littlest servant even cracked a smile too.

Your bare feet padded across the luxurious rugs on the floor, each one a different obnoxious weave of green and gold. If one did not know any better, one would believe this to be the house of the Hightowers, not the Targaryens. The thought left a sour taste in your mouth as you reached for the steaming cup of morning tea the three girls always brought you to wash it down.

Many things would have to change around here, you contemplated. First, you needed to figure out which problem to address.

The foremost thing that appeared on your mental list as you sat at the polished vanity where Dyana was standing was the problem at the Stepstones. Poor Lord Corlys was fighting a war in which the people of King's Landing were not concerned. The group of islands seemed so far away to the average snotty nobleman only because they did not realize the significance of the consequences that would happen if the Sea Snake lost to the Triarchy. It wasn't just a battle against greedy slavers but a war for protection and control of the Narrow Sea. The added Dornish forces made victory seem far.

If Corlys, a Lord under the Seven Kingdoms, lost control of the Sea, it would not only be a shameful defeat for the Master of Driftmark but destitution for all the trade that went through there. What would stop the Triarchy from taking control of all the ports on the eastern side of Essos? Imposing outrageous taxes onto ships that pass through with essential goods.

The Lords of the Small Council would only listen about the importance of the Stepstones if it came from a high-ranking man. And what better of a man could a king possibly be? So, that was precisely what you planned to do before the evening feast. Your Grandsire was going to get off his feeble, impassive arse and finally be the king he was supposed to be, for there was no other way to secure the safe future of the Narrow Sea.

Dyana had finished dressing you for the day in a plain and straightforward gown, indeed, nothing to swoon over. You believed Queen Alicent would've approved the shift if she saw it herself.

The body was made of a deep red fabric, replicating the dark viscous of blood freshly cut from a vein. The sleeves were a deep onyx as they billowed out from your wrists, creating a wave of darkness every time you moved your arms. There were silver accents on the trim of the square collar, the same style matching the makeshift armbands and belt sewn around those areas. You decided to pair it with the necklace and earrings Daemon had gifted you in your first encounter, the memory of it bringing a wistful smile.

There was no reason to spectacle your outfit to the King. He was a kind, older man who loved his kin deeply, wanting each House Targaryen member to be united. You were unsure if Viserys realized how much each faction of his family despised one another. The reasoning behind it was something you could never get your head around.

At first, you guessed it had something to do with your mother so blatantly birthing bastards and having her husband welcome another. Still, as time passed and you gathered small fragments of the broken relationship between the two sides, it seemed to have been more—something that was planted long before the birth of you and your adopted siblings.

You heard in passing that Rhaenyra and Alicent had once been the closest of friends. Seeing how much enmity was tossed toward your mother with courtly matters, you couldn't imagine something like that now.

As your three servants applied the finishing touches in making you presentable, admiring the updo they created, Fiora glanced at Jeyne. Her eyes were wide with panic, and she quickly whispered something to the older woman before she looked back at you. You frowned, trying to follow where their line of vision was as you shifted uncomfortably on the cushioned stool, beginning to chew your lip. An old habit you tried desperately to get rid of.

"What?" you questioned offensively, gesturing with your head to get them to speak.

"We do not like this style on you," Jeyne said, trotting over to undo their work.

You avoided her touch, turning your body to face her. "Why? It is an excellent one. I think it shapes my face wonderfully. You would not be able to see my earrings as openly as you can now if you changed it."

She ignored your protests, gripping the sides of your face and turning your head back around so she could mess up their work. "Truly, you women are unbelievable! Manhandling me in such a way you wouldn't believe that I am a princess."

"You would know all about manhandling, wouldn't you Lady Targaryen?" Jeyne chided, yanking the pins out of your hair as the heavy black tresses fell down your back.

"However do you mean?" you asked with growing annoyance. You clenched your jaw, hoping it would keep your notoriously harsh tongue at bay.

"What made you so tired this morning, your Grace? You can confide in your ladies. We're here to serve you. Your secrets are our secrets," she said.

You looked at Jeyne's concentrated reflection in the vanity mirror, squinting your eyes suspiciously at her. "If you must know, I was training in the yard last night, as I always do, and was up relatively late because of it."

That wasn't entirely a lie. You were awake during the hour of ghosts, honing your skills with the blade and many other things. It just wasn't the whole truth.

"Ah, so that is how you got that litter of bruises along your neck?" Jeyne answered facetiously, nodding in confirmation.

Your blood ran cold as you swallowed thickly. Aegon had left his marks on your skin, branded you in his drunken haze of self-pity and assault. You turned your head in the mirror, trying to see what the servant was talking about, and sure enough, there were splotches of green and yellow circles around your neck as if a squid had wrapped its tentacles around your throat.

Fury ignited in your chest like a blast furnace, heating the icy shame and turning it into anger. You clenched your fists, gritting your teeth as you followed the exact trail of discoloration that matched the one Aegon took down to your collarbones.

You felt violated.

Dirty. Used.

Like an old rag, the servants of the Red Keep would have to scrub the pale red stone floors. You wanted to rip the skin off your muscles and cut out every tainted bit of flesh on your body. How could you have let him do this to you? How could you have been so weak? Tears of contrite welled in your eyes. Daemon would be so ashamed if he knew what happened. Years of his blood and sweat were all wasted on a feeble little peasant girl from Flea Bottom.

You could have fought back and quickly overpowered him. You were much more robust than Aegon and quicker, but you didn't use that to your advantage. You just laid there on the packed earth of the training yard, letting him brand you with the marks of a whore. And the worst part was that there was no purpose to it. There was no overarching goal in your submission. You didn't let him defile you for the greater good, for your country or your mother, but simply because of nothing.

You hated Aegon for what he did, and most predominately, you hated yourself because what happened held no meaning. And if your actions had no intention, what did that imply about you? It was not something you were willing to think about, steeling yourself as you plastered on a rehearsed bashful smile.

"Dear Jeyne, you know a lady never tells," you answered coyly, pretending to shy away from her question, "but if you must know... a certain Kraken has taken great interest in me, and who am I to deny such a mystical being of their affections."

The three girls giggled. Dyana blushed as she slipped your shoes on, and Fiora excitedly hopped. Jeyne believed you, slightly grinning as she put your hair in a braided half-up, half-down style, ensuring your neck was completely covered.

***

The Lord Commander of the Kingsguard was posted to the entrance for Viserys bed chambers, his polished silver helmet reflecting the early afternoon sun from the tall paned windows. He stood straight as if a steel rod was in place of his spine rather than bones, his palm resting over the hilt of his elegant sword.

The Commander's gaze didn't meet yours until you called out his name, jogging slightly down the hall with a grin on your lips, the sleeves of your dress flowing like a midnight waterfall at your sides.

"Ser Harrold Westerling," you chirped, happy to see a sweet face amongst the ocean of sour ones.

You still recalled the pleasant interactions from the past, remembering the respect he extended to you, understanding the vulnerable position you were in by being plucked from the slums of King's Landing and placed in a royal palace.

"Princess," he greeted with a tilted head. "What brings you to these parts of the Keep?"

You took no offense to his inquiry. Ser Harrold was kind and honorable, loyal to the King and his wishes until his dying breath. Even when Viserys passed, you were confident he would still follow his will. Thrown into a den of vipers, he would be there with the rake coming from above to cut off the serpents' heads.

"I come seeking an audience with my Grandsire," you said, smiling as you stopped before him.

"His Grace is currently receiving one of his treatments with Grand Maester Mellos. It won't take long," Ser Harrold said, standing proud and formal.

You cocked your head at him, frowning for a brief moment. "I had heard that the King was in good health."

Though your words were ordinary and unsuspecting to anyone else, they held an intent only you and Ser Westerling could decipher. "The Hand and Maester Mellos assured me his Grace was on the mend. I have faith that their treatments must be the cause of his returning health."

Ser Westerling gave you a sidelong glance, the whites of his eyes becoming more apparent underneath his shining helmet. "Of course, Princess," he responded plainly, with no hint of his personal beliefs within his answer.

He was sometimes challenging to read, which was a good trait to have in a place where even the walls had eyes. It had been a skill he acquired over the countless years of devoted service to the King, standing proud and impartial in the background of many world-defining events.

You suppose there was only one thing to do as you hummed at the Lord Commander, taking place on the wall across from him, clasping your hands behind you. You rested your upper body against the excellent stone, your back creating a rather unladylike arch that would have your mother backhanding you in the stomach. Punishments from Rhaenyra were not something you often took seriously, laughing as she would scold you on your manners. It was a relief that she was not here now to do it in front of someone you admired.

It felt like an eternity until the nearly dead Maester and his assistant Orwyle left the King's chambers. You didn't want to be left with your thoughts for long, anxious about where they could lead you. A man stranded in the woods alone, convinced he would starve when he had a pouch full of food in his belly, would cease from what he feared. The mind was a powerful tool over the body; it could deceive oneself into wanting something you did not.

Maester Mellos was startled to find you waiting outside, his limbs locking and almost doubling over like the terrified goats you had seen in the villages of Dragonstone. You had to purse your lips to halt your laughter, Ser Harold and Orwyle rushing to the old man's aid.

"Princess," he heaved, trying to catch his breath, "you gave me a fright."

A tight-lipped smile was all you did, apologizing as you pushed yourself off the wall, the smell of a sickening musk wafting from Viserys' room. "I trust the King is in good health?" you asked with a raised brow, sauntering over to straighten his pious robes. "From the last time we spoke with the Small Council, you said his treatments were going well, yes?"

The man nodded passively, trying to regain his composure from your accidental scare.

"His treatments are going well," Maester Orwyle spoke or him, averting your attention from Mellos. "He has been on a steady schedule of bloodletting and leeches interchangeably throughout the day, depending on his needs, and Milk of the Poppy to ease his pains."

You nodded in response, your expression pensive but not revealing your opinions.

"My most tremendous thanks to you both," you placed your hands on each of the men's shoulders, "for taking such great care of my Grandsire. I believe he will be attending court soon if the Seven allows."

They bowed, apprehensive in their tense posture as you released them and went on their way. Your polite expression dropped as soon as they left, passing an unconvinced look to Ser Harold as he followed you in, shutting the grand doors with a thud.

You had only been inside Viserys' bed chamber once when you were here the first time in King's landing. He had shown you his miniature scale model of Old Valyria, still well taken care of and progressing despite his advancing ailments at the time, but now, covered in a thin white sheet of linen and dust, it looked forgotten. A mirror of his current predicament, reclining in a soft cushion armchair, a heavy blanket over his lap as he warmed himself by the fire.

His hand looked frail as he held his aching head, the skin blanched and loosely stretched over his bones. Viserys' once luscious silver-blonde hair was now only left with thin patches randomly growing on his scalp. There was a sore the size of a small grape on his right cheek, red and oozing with clear yellow fluid, eating away at the flesh. It would be a ghastly sight to most, but you only felt sorrow. He was such a powerful and good-natured ruler who dwindled into nothing but a husk of the man he once was.

Anger cracked your heart as King Viserys' loose sleeve lowered, revealing a school of pink circles on his forearm up to where his clothes covered him. This was the two Maester's fault. In their pursuit of a cure for whatever sickness your Grandsire had, they had made him weaker, drained him of all life and the ability to live it.

"Your Grace," Ser Harrold altered the Protector of The Realms.

His tired eyes drifted toward the Lord Commander's voice, his once bright purple eyes now sunken in with dark circles. Your neutral expression with the Maesters was a distant memory, a frustrated, almost disgusted rage replacing it. It felt wrong to view Viserys as he was. A once soft, peaceful, and gentle person was now reduced to a weak, feeble, and poorly thing, his crown nowhere to be seen.

"The young lady Targaryen is here to visit," Ser Harold said. You noticed how the King lit up at his words, rasping a faint question.

"Rhaenyra?"

You felt your soul crack, a tear threatening to fall. After all these years, he only desired his firstborn daughter, the product of his love with his first wife, heir to the Iron Throne. It was as joyful as it was sad.

"No, my King, 'tis I, your brother's firstborn." You stepped into his line of sight, black hair casting an otherworldly glow from the open window behind you.

He said your name in what you assumed was a pleasant surprise, gaunt face still happy at your unexpected visit. "My dear Niece, what do I owe the honor of your presence?" The King gasped, struggling to move himself into an upright position.

"Ha! Not many people have ever said my presence is an honor. You are to kind to me my King," you chuckled, finding a spare armchair and dragging it closer to him.

"Isn't it always an honor to be in the same room as a beautiful maiden?"

You released a loud laugh, too boisterous to be considered proper, as Viserys cracked a gaped-tooth smile, hiding the slight blush with the dip of your head. Even Ser Westerling gave a hint of a smile before bowing out and leaving you in silence.

You had seen an illness like this before as you settled. Many people around the forbidden parts of Flea Bottom all assembled in a group Ma coined the "Lepers."

In a small sector of Flea Bottom, a house resided people with a sickness similar to the symptoms that Viserys showed. She told you their disease was brought upon them as punishment for their sins. One of the many symptoms was they could not speak, for they had taken the Seven's name in vain too many times, loss of vision, for they had paid no heed to the divine light that was them, and their flesh rotting from the inside out from the guilt and regret of their actions and not seeking forgiveness.

You didn't believe anything she said as a young girl until you heard the bells the lepers wore, their version of alms to the Gods. Later in life, you realized the bells they wore was just a way for them to tell other that they were sick and to stay away, but it did not keep you from doubting...

What had Viserys done that angered the Gods so? He could still speak, albeit very strained. He still had his sight, for he had not witnessed an act of heresy. He did suffer the loss of a limb and the degeneration of his flesh from the inside out. What had eaten him so?

Your eyes had drifted to the fire in thought, contemplating over your following words with the gnawing of your lower lip.

"Where has the time gone?" You spoke first, breaking Viserys from his drifting conscience. "It seems like yesterday I was stolen from the slums of King's Landing and thrown into gowns that would cost a life of wages for me." You took a breath, sitting back in the plush velvet red chair. "A fair trade, I suppose. A life of comfort and luxury for the death of those close to me." You choose what you said carefully with the memory that the King had a notoriously big heart and a soft spot for young girls.

"I had no knowledge of what happened until the deed was done. Had I, they would have been shown mercy," Viserys panted, the strain of speaking so much in such a short period catching up to him.

You didn't doubt it. Lyra and Sara would most likely have been sent to the black cells and whipped for their crimes against the royal family, but they would still be alive. You could still see your Aunt's cerulean blue eyes crinkling in the corners from age as she laughed. Sara could be with Madam, not necessarily whoring but working a steady job. Any future would be better than none.

"I believe that, your Grace. You have always been so kind and good-natured to those around you—a good king from the beginning of his reign till the end of it." You turned to look at him, studying his hunched and nearly asphyxiated silhouette. "I feel your next decision to my words will either set that in stone or have it overshadowed by a cloud of inactive cowardess."

Viserys turned his head away from the warmth of the fire, his expression worn and tired, so, so tired, refusing to reply.

You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat, the clicking sensation loud within your ears as you began to speak.

"You know there has been a war in the Stepstones for years. While you did initially approve of the Triarchy gaining control of the Islands and the ports, only having to pay a small sum in return for the use of them, they have become greedy. They are raising their taxes to astronomical proportions and barring ships from transporting goods into Westeros."

You leaned forward in your seat, moving to the edge of it as you stared under your lashes at him. "Tis your duty as Ruler of the Seven Kingdoms to ensure your people's safety and good health. Your continued inaction regarding the Stepstones and Lord Corlys is disheartening."

Glancing down at your hands, you chewed your lip, thinking over your following words. They were to be firm and a good push for Viserys to act, but they could not be disrespectful. "The Lord of Driftmark beseeches you. I implore you to send aid to his dying men. Princess Rhaenys has already lost so much." You gazed wistfully into the fire, a deep sadness in your tone. "A son to a lovers quarl. A daughter to the birthing bed like your first Lady Wife. You know the pain that comes with losing someone so dear. Do not make your cousin share that same burden."

The King's sunken eyes moved away from you, his breath coming out in shudders. You could not fathom what was going on inside his mind, though you could assume it was the same as yours when you thought over Aegon's actions for too long.

"What... do you... suppose... I do, then?" He questioned in staccato-like sounds, as if he had just come from running down a hall of the Red Keep and back.

"I have a plan." You tested the words on your tongue, attempting to gauge his reaction from the obscured view. "We are to send aid in the form of supplies to the Stepstones, not warriors. Anything they might need from weaponry, food, clothing, to even healing salves with Dragonstone's personal ship fleet. 'Tis not my intent to implicate the Crown so as not to upset our Dornish neighbors." Your fingers squeezed your other hand in a vice-like grip, channeling your nervousness into something physical.

"But the men of the Small Council will not listen to me. They do not see me as what your law says. They believe I am an object on their path meant to be passed by without a second glance." Standing from the cushioned chair, you walked to Viserys, taking his cold, boney hand in your warm, plump ones as you kneeled before him.

"If you truly are the king I always believed you were, you must come to the next Council meeting, declare your niece's voice to be heard, and end the war in the Stonestones without shedding any Westrosi blood."

Viserys parted his dry mouth, smacking his gums together as if he was going to speak, but was interrupted by a swift bout of pain, clutching his cheek in his withered palm. You were unsure what to do, the sudden cry of agony spiking your heart rate as you looked frantically in his chambers for something to aid him. A tiny teacup sat on his bedside table, lukewarm and half-drunk. You rushed it over to him, gently tilting the porcelain cup to his cracked lips until the pain subsided.

He released a breath, the strong scent of something botanical and bitter coming from his mouth. The smell gave you a sudden sense of nostalgia, furrowing your brows in a confused concentration as you tried to recall the name of it, only to have it evade you as Ser Harold came through the door.

"All is well, Lord Commander," you answered his unspoken question, rising from your squatted position. "His wound ails him greatly. Have the Maester's treated it with anything to your knowledge?"

Ser Harrold shook his armored head as you let out a disapproved hum, setting the cup of tea beside his chair leg. You gave your Grandsire and Uncle one last look, making sure he did not need further attention as you kissed his marred cheek, resting there for a moment longer as you squeezed his hand, assuring him and you of something you could not discern. 

Masterlist of Series

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I started writing for the feast in this chapter but got barely a quarter of the way through and realized I already had 10k words, so I was like, hold up, this is way too long. Some people like longer chapters like that, but I do not. I prefer things I can read in one sitting, and something over 7k is typically the limit for most. After that, it's just waaaaay too long and bad for your eye health too. (don't laugh) I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter nevertheless, and thank you so much for your support!

Tagged Peeps: @zeennnnnnn, @malfoytargaryen, @targaryencore, @justasmallbean, @alexandra-001, @omgsuperstarg, @sommornyte, @silverslive, @unclecrunkle, @prettykinkysoul, @duesobabe, @djlexi, @ynbutbetter, @honestlykat, @graykageyama, @legolas017, @iiamthehybrid, @brezzybfan, @dd122004dd, @ladybug0095, @millies0bsimp, @kalfild, @sheislonelyalways, @tempt-ress, @bellameshipper, @minttea07, @trikigirl271, @esposadomd, @buckylahey, @justarandomflowerchildofthenight, @partypoison00, @please-buckme, @pastelorangeskies, @joliettes, @existential-echo, @priyajoyy, @valaenatargaryensdragon, @merovingianprincess, @rachelnicolee, @candy12110, @w3ird11, @ruhjkie, @somemydayy, @ariana-dumbledore8, @marikkjj, @zillahvathek, @sunfyresrider, @sunny-boy-06, @heavenly1927, @prettylittlelady

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[thejujvtsupost]

Too Much Labor

So this might be a little heavy, but we got sweetheart toji in his own way - inspired by Labor by Paris Paloma

Notes: F!reader, previous emotionally abusive relationship, emotional manipulation(not by Toji), healing, angst but also fluff. He’s really sweet in this and I think we all need a little sweet Toji in our lives, he’s got a temper but not around you.

You swore you had a handle on everything. You told Toji, your ex roommate and best friend that you very much used to have a crush on despite knowing it was one sided, exactly that every time he said something snarky about your “shit for ass” long term boyfriend.

Including this time, when you were on the phone with him and waiting for your boyfriend to get home. He was an hour late, but it’s fine. He can’t control it if he has to work overtime.

(Whose idea was it to name their daughter ‘Overtime’?)

Of course when he did get home he was still keyed up from the work day and in a bad mood, it’s not like he didn’t love you. Sometimes he just has a rough day and feels comfortable enough to let his walls down around you.

“It’s not his fault, he just set the glass down a little too hard. He can’t help that he’s too strong for the plate either.” You were still cleaning up the glass after an argument started over what you made for dinner.

That’s how Toji found you when he rushed his way through your unlocked door. Of course that asshole left it open for anyone to barge in leaving you completely unprotected. Over the phone he heard the sound of yelling, then glass hitting the ground, the yelp you let out and the tone of the call ending; it had him out the door with his keys in under two minutes flat.

“C’mon, stand up sweetheart. Let me help.” He wasn’t supposed to call you pet names anymore, no matter how warm and safe that care made you feel.

(He didn’t mean cleaning. You were leaving that apartment tonight and not going back.)

You were shocked to see him, obviously unaware the door open in the first place. Using your sleeve to dry your eyes, letting someone see you crying would make your boyfriend look bad, you shouldn’t be such a slob and embarrass him; you went back to work. “I didn’t know you were coming over, sorry it’s a mess in here. Just give me- give me a few minutes and I’ll get you a drink and start cooking something else.”

Something else? Oh fucking hell… there was actual food, a whole meals worth if he had to guess, mixed in with the shards.

You let out a small yelp when you cut your hand on a particularly large piece of the dinner plate.

He’d treat you so much better than that prick. Toji has always been temperamental but never around you, your calming demeanor was relaxing. “You shouldn’t be cleaning, cmon now. Let me look at your hand.”

“I’ll deal with it later, ‘sfine. I don’t know when he’s coming back and I need to get started on making something el- I mean something better and get everything cleaned up. I’ll be quick I just need a few more minutes please.” You were trying so hard not to cry, your little sniffles were already embarrassing enough. Who cries over a fucking plate? You’re as pathetic as your boyfriend said you were when you cried in front of him earlier.

His heart was breaking every time you let out a shaky breath. “No, c’mere sweetheart. That’s enough.”

“You don’t understand-”

“I understand perfectly, and you’re done here. I can’t take it anymore, look what he’s doing to you!” He had to take a deep breath, he reminded himself when he saw you flinch at his tone. Fuck. “Darlin’ look around, really look around. You cooked an entire homemade meal with a fully set table and it’s on the floor. You hurt yourself on the glass, the food is still hot enough to burn your little hands too; I know it is. You do everything for him, and what does he ever do for you? How does he show he appreciates you? He checks your phone every month to make sure you’re not spending too much time talking to other people. Think about how long this has been going on, our conversations don’t last longer than twenty minutes and you haven’t hung out with me in person in months, much less your other friends.”

“I’m sorry, I know I’ve been a really bad friend but I’m really busy. I’ll try to make more time in the future…” you were losing your grip, the tiny grip you had, on your emotions.

“No no no, you didn’t do anything wrong here. It’s not about that, you haven’t been anywhere without him in ages, have you? You quit your job, how are you so busy if you’re not working?” He managed to pull you up and get you into a dining room chair so he could kneel in front of you. Your tears were gut wrenching. Toji was going to murder that fucker, he deserved to be ripped apart limb from limb for hurting someone as sweet as you. He squashed the impulse down (for now), you were a priority.

“It’s dangerous for someone like me to walk out in the world on my own… and he likes spending time with me so…”

Toji already knew he was about to hate whatever answer you were going to give him. “What do you mean ‘someone like you’?”

“‘M weak and a little- a little oblivious so it’s not safe.”

“Nope. You’re done here. You’re leaving right now. You deserve so much better than this. Someone that loves you would never treat you like this.” I would never treat you like this… it was a selfish thought that would be on the very back burner. That’s not what you needed right now.

“I can’t, he’s gonna be mad at me! I’ll try and hang out with you later!” Your emotions burst forward from the flimsy dam. Full on sobs. It was the loneliness, the fear of always being wrong and not wanting to be a burden on your boyfriend and you wanted things to feel the way they did when you first started dating. That’s when it felt like he actually loved you, you just had to try harder according to him and you were! You really really were!

The stream of thought was interrupted by Toji wrapping his arms around you. It’d been so long since you had one of his hugs and it made you break down into a puddle. Your boyfriend didn’t like when you were friendly with other guys and the boundary you put in place hurt more than you thought it had. “I’m sorry for crying on you.” You managed to get out through your shudders.

“Nothin’ to be sorry for sweetheart. You got a suitcase?”

You nodded and let him wipe your tears for you. “My stuff should be able to fit in one big one.”

“Good. Let’s check out your hand and get you packed up, make sure your phone is synced fully to the cloud and factory reset it, you’re not taking that one with you.”

“Toji I don’t have any money or a place to go, and I need a job to have any money at all-”

“What? No, baby you’re coming home with me. Where you belong.”

You started crying all over again, leading to another hug while you rested your head on his shoulder. “Alright, you’re okay, I gotcha. Clear your phone, I’m gonna wrap your hand and we’ll get outta here.”

Your phone was shut off and left on the counter only minutes later.

Your wound on your hand was tightly wrapped and all your things were ready to go. It’s not like you had a lot, your boyfriend- ex boyfriend said you had too much and you left it behind in your old room in the apartment you shared with Toji. You figured he would’ve done something with all your stuff by now.

All in the span of thirty minutes, you were leaving. It hurt to leave, but it kept on hurting more and more the longer you stayed with him.

“Leave the rest of the mess for him to clean up, let’s go. I have a fluffy blanket with your name on it.”

Toji kept your room exactly as you left it, you always had a home with him…

Thinking about making a request? Check my bio to see if they’re open! <3

#jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #no use of y/n #reader insert #toji fushiguro #toji x reader

[sunkissed-zegras]

had another jump then fall thought

after adam and cece start dating (and maybe move in together???) i could totally see paloma walking into their room at night holding her fave stuffie with tears in her poor little eyes saying she cant sleep (especially after the court thing) she would just be so scared that ceces gonna disappear or shes gonna get taken away from them again poor girl is so little with so much anxiety

oh my god YES. anxiety is very much a part of paloma’s life after the whole court hearing. she never wants to be away from adam ever again and even the mere thought gives the poor girl nightmares 🥹🥹

after the hearing, even adam gets anxious about the whole thing and the only person who’s able to calm him is sweet cece (despite her own fears of paloma’s bio mom taking her again)

─ warnings sosososo much anxiety, exhaustion but fluffy (post pining) moments with cece/adam. also this was written on my phone so there may be errors LOL

─ wc 635

the clock on the bedside table flashed 3:12 am and both cece and adam were fast asleep in their warm bed. cece had a 10 am lecture while adam had practice the next morning, they both wanted to catch up on their sleep.

the door creaked open, revealing a very pouty and tired looking paloma. she began crying softly and cece began to stir before waking up and seeing the toddler at the door, barely being able to stand.

“dove?” cece’s hoarse and tired voice rang out in the room as she got out of bed and grabbed the little girl into her arms.

at cece’s now empty spot on the bed, adam stirred and eventually woke and let out a sigh. this had been a constant struggle with paloma since the hearing but he couldn’t hold it against her, she didn’t even know what was going on. he would be lying if he said he wasn’t exhausted, though.

adam rubbed his eyes and sat up, running a hand through his tousled hair as he watched cece comfort paloma. he knew that the past few weeks had been tough on all of them, especially on paloma. ever since the hearing, she had been more clingy than usual, sensing the tension in the air.

"another bad dream?" adam asked, his voice still thick with sleep as he glanced over at cece and paloma.

cece nodded, her own exhaustion evident in the lines of her face. "yeah. they're getting more frequent, adam. i'm getting a little worried."

adam sighed as he stayed silent for a moment before speaking up. "she's fine. it's normal for her to wanna sleep with us, she's a baby."

"adam," cece's voice was a little agitated as adam once again tried to ignore paloma's obvious separation anxiety. she knew he couldn't help it though.

adam felt a pang of guilt at cece's tone. he knew she was right, but he also struggled with seeing paloma upset and he didn't know how he'd cope if he found out there was something wrong. he ran a hand through his hair again, feeling the weight of exhaustion settling on his shoulders.

"i know, cee," adam said softly, reaching out to gently stroke paloma's hair as she nestled against cece. "i just hate seeing her like this, you know? It breaks my heart. and it's my fault, too-"

"don't you dare say that, adam." cece's voice was firm, cutting off adam's self-blame before it could fully take root. she reached out to grasp Adam's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "it isn't anyone's fault except her mother's, for making us all endure the shit she gave us."

adam's shoulders sagged with relief at Cece's words, grateful for her understanding. he leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to paloma's forehead before resting his forehead against cece's.

"i know," Adam murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "i just... i want to do everything i can to protect her, you know? and when i see her like this... it's hard not to feel like i'm failing."

cece reached up, cupping Adam's cheek in her hand and guiding his gaze to meet hers. "you're not failing, adam. you're the best dad ever and paloma knows that. you can't control everything that happens no matter how hard you try, all you can do is just help her cope."

adam's eyes softened at her words, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over him. he leaned into her touch, savoring the warmth of her hand against his cheek.

"thank you, cece," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "i needed to hear that."

cece smiled softly, her eyes filled with warmth as she pressed a tender kiss to adam's lips. "of course, adam. we are in this together, remember? we'll figure it out."

#jump then fall au #nhl imagine #nhl #nhl fic #hockey #nhl fanfiction #nhl oneshot #hockey fic #adam fantilli #adam fantilli smut #adam fantilli blurb #adam fantilli x reader #adam fantilli imagine #adam fantilli x you #cece x adam 🩵 #princess paloma 👑

[areyoudreaminof]

This Life and the Next: A Nessian Playlist

It's finally @nessianweek! And of course for Day 3 I had to make a playlist!

We love their banter, their angst, their passion, and their deep undying love for one another. To watch Cassian and Nesta find each other despite their own personal challenges was such a beautiful and satisfying love story. For this playlist, I tried to follow a somewhat narrative structure that fell in line with ACOSF. I wanted to represent these two people finding one another and lifting the other up. This playlist also has a fun little bonus track for your fun Nessian writing needs. LISTEN HERE and take a look at some lyrics behind the cut.

As The World Caves In-Matt Maltese

My feet are aching And your back is pretty tired And we've drunk a couple bottles, babe And set our grief aside And here it is, our final night alive And as the earth burns to the ground Oh, girl, it's you that I lie with As the atom bomb locks in Oh, it's you I watch TV with As the world, as the world caves in

Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene-Hozier

Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh, I Lay my heart down with the rest at her feet Fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertile It's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet

Lose My Cool-Amber Marks

I was so full of pain just stuck in my head There was no one that could get me out of it Yes I think the drinking was a bit excessive Just to be frank the drinking ain't what caused me to be aggressive My heart has been taken over Everyday I get colder to 'em I realize need to let go expression from the get go to 'em Feeling it like I just need to speak my brain

Banquet-Bloc Party

And if you feel A little left behind We will wait for you on the other side 'Cause I'm on fire 'Cause you know I'm on fire when you come

Homage-Mild High Club

Please just have a laugh with me 'Cause you know I'm borrowing by now These sounds, have already crowned Come on it's a silly dream Dreaming of the imagery unfound The view sits nice from that cloud

Make You Better-The Decemberists

I'll love you in springtime I lost you when summer came And when you pulled backwards I wanted to, I needed to Oh-oh, to make me better

Andromeda- Weyes Blood

Treat me right I'm still a good man's daughter Let me in if I break And be quiet if I shatter Gettin' tired of looking You know that I hate the game Don't wanna waste any more time You know I been holdin' out Love is calling It's time to give to you

Skulls-Bastille

I don't want to rest in peace I'd rather be the ghost that annoys you I hope you can make me laugh Six feet down when we're bored of each other A match is our only light

When our lives are over and all that remains Are our skulls and bones, let's take it to the grave And hold me in your arms, hold me in your arms I'll be buried here with you And I'll hold in these hands, all that remains

Leather-Tori Amos

Look, I'm standing naked before you Don't you want more than my sex? I can scream as loud as your last one But I can't claim innocence Oh God, could it be the weather? Oh God, why am I here? If love isn't forever And it's not the weather Hand me my leather

waves-Miguel & Kacey Musgraves

Put it out, I'm on fire, fire That’s what I’m about, take me higher, higher, tonight I'm gonna ride that wave

the last beautiful thing I saw..-Paris Paloma

And I looked up, and saw the sun It separated all the colors And the ice, into my eyes It fell and left me blind That was the last thing that I saw The fractured glass and its downpour I felt the blood mix with the water And I didn't see no more

Rut-The Killers

So I'm handing you a memory I hope you understand That steadily reminds you of who I really am

This city's always breathing, I wish that it would die The kickbacks and the bachelors, the fever for the velvet rope The money from my mother's men I'm not like her, you're not like them

Tell Me You Love Me-Sufjan Stevens

My love, I've lost my faith in everything Tell me you love me anyway, tell me you love me anyway My love, I feel myself unravelling Tell me you love me anyway, tell me you love me anyway My love, I feel the darkness on my back

Eternal Flame-Saint Sister

I believe it's meant to be, darling I watch you when you are sleeping You belong with me Do you feel the same? Or am I only dreaming? Is this burning an eternal flame?

Milk & Black Spiders-Foals

Oh, I hope you can hear me All those million miles away, you'd stay 'Cause I'd love you dearly All those billion miles away 'Cause I've been around two times And found that you're the only thing I need

BONUS TRACK: Smut-Tom Lehrer

Give me smut And nothing but! A dirty novel I can't shut If it's uncut And unsubt-tle

Taglist: @asnowfern @damedechance @foundress0fnothing @foreverinelysian @gaeleria @goddess-aelin @itsthedoodle @kataravimes-of-the-shire @krem-does-stuff @labellefleur-sauvage @moodymelanist @c-e-d-dreamer @nessianweek @octobers-veryown @popjunkie42-blog @reverie-tales @rosanna-writer @spell-cleavers @sassyhobbits @separatist-apologist @secret-third-thing @thesistersarcheron @the-lonelybarricade @ultadverb @vulpes-fennec @witchlingsandwyverns @xtaketwox @wilde-knight @witch-and-her-witcher @iftheshoef1tz @ofduskanddreams @talons-and-teeth

#nessian #nessianweek2023 #acotar playlist project #acotar playlist #Spotify #cassian #Nesta #pro cassian #pro nesta #pro nessian

[ang3lb1iss]

Notre Dame | paris paloma | Part 1 of 2 

Word count: 2.7k 

Pairing: James Potter x F!Bestfriend Reader 

Summary: Hogwarts years | You were James’ best friend since first year. Throughout your years at Hogwarts, you had started to develop a crush on James, but you refused to act on your feelings due to the fact James only ever had eyes for Lily. Now you're sitting at his funeral, reminiscing about the past and you can't help but feel regret and guilt. 

Authors note: This is my first fic /one-shot so forgive me if it isn't that great to read, I just found it fun being able to interpret lyrics into stories about characters I love. The story loosely follows the Marauders scenes in the HP movies. I picture James with either a scouse accent or a really chavvy London accent, but you can picture him however you want. I apologise in advance if the tenses get mixed up, the story is made up of the reader looking back on the past and reliving certain moments. 

______________________________________________________________

‘I'm in the rafters looking down  It's cold up here  Between walls of stone  I made my home’ 

The church is cold and dim. Especially in the upstairs seating, which is where you are situated. As you try to listen to the speeches full of childhood memories and happier times, you can't help but lose focus and think about the what-ifs and how things could've gone differently. If you had never met James in that cabin on the way to Hogwarts, you wouldn’t be feeling this pain and heartache, but you also wouldn’t have had such a joyful and exciting time at the school. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. “What if it was me and not Lily? Why wasn’t it me? Why did I have to fall for him?” You wonder what the answers to these questions could be, but the harsh truth is that you never will, and you will live with the never-ending ambiguity until the day you die. 

‘And the air hangs heavy with the incense  Feathers fall from pigeons  Cooing in the tower’ 

Your first year, you remember it all so clearly. You were looking to find a cabin for the journey to Hogwarts, but the majority were filled, and in the rest, there were stone-faced older kids that openly sneered at you anytime you walked past them. Until you found his cabin. 

 He was the only one in there and you thought that he looked somewhat friendly, so you decided to take a chance. It ended up being one of the best decisions you’ve ever made. 

 He welcomed you in with a bright smile on his face, despite looking like his face would split with how wide his smile was, he asked you the standard questions, “What's your name? What house d’ya think you'll be in? D’ya want to be mates?” Of course, I wanted to be friends with him, I probably would have been miserable without him in my life but then again, I wouldn’t be so heartbroken now. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. 

You can recall the way his eyes gleamed when he introduced himself as James. James. Tears sprung to your eyes, making your surroundings go blurry. You can't help but miss the way he proudly said he was a Gryffindor “where dwell the brave at heart” and how Slytherin was full of “evil prats and I'd rather die than be in Slytherin.” You had always admired his pride and how he never let anything upset him too much or for too long. 

That is of course until Lily Evans became more vicious and spiteful in her rejections and jabs. Whenever James was insulted by his “Lilyflower” he let it break down his nonchalant persona and let it cut him deeper than any knife ever could. His Lilyflower. The common factor in all your suffering, you couldn’t blame her of course, it wasn’t her fault that a big oaf like James Potter fell in love with her. But it's not like that fact softened the blow in any way. 

You decided to stop that train of thought before you cried even harder. Instead, you choose to remember when the Trolley Lady came to the door and being breath taken at the assortment of sweet treats. Upon looking in your purse which was just a pouch, you’d realised that you didn’t have enough to get the Bertie Botts Every flavour Beans that you would've liked, with disappointment quickly replacing your awestruck expression, you had declined and took to looking out the window instead of having to see the trolley taunting you with all its colours and designs.  

That’s when you heard him. 

“We’ll take the lot of ‘em” you heard him say and you had insisted that he shouldn’t be wasting his money on you, but he simply drowned out your pleas and focused on the shock of the Trolley Lady. He was always so generous. 

After much reluctance and countless Thank you’s, you'd decided to have a few cauldron cakes and indulge in a chocolate frog when a small timid boy opened the compartment door and asked if anyone had seen his toad, he introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew and he ended up sitting with the both of you for the rest of the journey while you had pulled out a book to read and ended up falling asleep with your head leaning on the compartment wall. 

‘I rarely go down there, the view's just so beautiful from here  And I can see everybody at their worst points  At their worst points’ 

You start to remember the moment you openly started looking at James differently. It was the end of third year, and he had just won the quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin after declaring during dinner in the great hall that Gryffindor was 100% going to win and he would “wipe his arse with the slithering bastards”.  

You also remember his mumbling and moaning about having to go to detention and you remember him being too busy laying his head on your lap when you both were in your dorm and going to sleep while you read a book. 

 But there he was on his broom hovering above the crowd that had formed to celebrate the win with him. The noise of screams, chants and shouts reverberated across the entirety of the school grounds. The thought of it making you shiver. While James was practically the same shade as the snitch by how brightly his smile was beaming, you were perfectly content with watching him from the Gryffindor stands and away from the chaos that was the Quidditch pitch. 

To this day you can still feel the way your heart skipped a beat when he looked up and smiled at you. At least you thought it was at you. You noticed his wet hair, whether it was because of the rain, him sweating or a combination of both, you didn’t care. His curly dark brown hair that normally looked so fluffy and messy that you just wanted to run your hands through it and make it somewhat tidier.  

His arms that made his jersey look to be too tight, it made you picture scenarios with him being able to carry you places when you got too tired, fighting someone who tried to hurt you. You are still quite ashamed to admit the times when you got flustered at the thought of him using them to pin you against a wall and having a heated makeout session in a broom cupboard. 

Thoughts aside, you had decided to retire to your dorm for a quick nap. The cold can be very tiring. You gathered your things and stood up only to see Lily Evans, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew sat together directly behind you. You hadn't even noticed them while you watched James previously. 

Lily and Peter said hello while Remus only managed an awkward tight-lipped smile. You and Remus didn’t become friends until your seventh year when you both bonded over being unrequited lovers. The reason for this being that you always felt like he could see through you. He knew things about people before they even knew it themselves which always made you paranoid that he could see your feelings for James and tell him, and as a result, ruining the best friendship you ever had. At least I don’t need to be paranoid anymore.  

Your mind skipped to fifth year, when you were sitting with the Marauders on a warm sunny day, exams had just ended, and you all were just waiting for the results to be calculated. That’s when you heard the boys get up and walk over to a nearby tree. You looked over and saw a mop of stringy black hair and a pale face with an expression of distaste painted on his face. Snivellous,, the foul git.  

You had chosen to stay far back enough that you could still see what happens clearly but ensured you weren't too close as to avoid McGonagall's wrath if she were to show up at the scene.  

The next thing you knew was that Snivellous was hanging upside down in mid-air. Levicorpus. You remember coming across the charm in the library with Sirius and James while looking for more spells for future pranks. You never got involved in the pranks because you didn’t fancy sitting in a silent room for an hour for detention or, Merlin forbid, whatever task Filch might've issued you with. 

There was always a slight rift between you and Sirius because of your refusal to get involved in pranks, he would never have outwardly said it in front of James or Peter because of their loyalty to you, but he disliked how you would only ever consider helping them if James had asked you. You were the only girl in Hogwarts he couldn’t sway with his charm and good looks. And Merlin did it get him jealous. Not that you had noticed back then at least. 

You ended that tangent before it made you spiral down a rabbit hole of confusion. You thought back the past, Snape was being held high by none other than James Potter. His fluffy green Slytherin socks and the sparse leg hair upon his dry ashen legs, were left on display for everyone to see. You had wondered what provoked James into performing such a spell. But your question was left unanswered as your attention had gone to Snape being dropped back onto the ground and Lily Evans being called a “Filthy Mudblood.” by her old childhood best friend. 

If anger meant seeing red, then James wasn’t seeing anything but of blind rage. “Don’t you dare call her that word you vile, disgusting creature.” There was an array of insults and cussing until Lily had brought him back to his senses. She told Snivellous to piss off and she waited until he was far enough away to round on James and unleash the anger that had been building inside her for years. 

You couldn’t hear what she said due to the fact she had put a silencing charm on the area but based off what James whimpered and whined about while he dreamt in your bed with you for comfort, she had probably said something along the lines of “I would rather kill myself then ever be your girl, Potter.” Hindsight is a funny thing after all. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of your heart at the fact that his soul had latched onto Lily and not you, not even giving you a chance.  

That was the night you realised that you would never get the guy. You will forever be condemned to loving James Potter. Your life will continue to be tormented with the possibilities that could've happened, the dreams that made you weep with despair and the everlasting longing and desire slowly encasing your heart until it breaks and shatters. James Potter was the light of your life, but he also caused the darkness that it left behind. James Potter was the sun, but now everything has gone dark. 

‘I'm not a sadist, I enjoy just being able to be witness of the loneliness and fear  I abhor in case there isn't one  In case there isn't one’ 

After that night, after your tragic discovery had become the only thing running through your head. You had pathetically tried to recover the way you saw James before you fell for him. You tried for 2 long years with no luck. He still had your attention and heart, and yet he didn’t realise he had either. So, when the Marauders split for the night, you decided to ask for help. 

You were suffocating with the grief and the mourning of what could've been. And you needed someone to help you breathe. 

With Peter and Sirius headed to the dorm, James doing his Head-Boy patrols with Lily, it was only you and Remus left in the library, the map and the invisibility cloak set to the side until you both decided to leave. It turns out you didn’t even need to say anything because Remus knew exactly what was going through your head. 

He saw the adoration in your eyes when you looked at your best friend, he saw the longing and upset you tried to hide when you heard him constantly talk about marrying Lily and having “Mini Potters” with her. No matter how well you tried, you couldn’t help but subtly display your inner turmoil. 

And Remus saw it all.  

“You're in love with James, aren't you, I see the way your eyes shine brighter, and your smile gets bigger when he enters the room. But he doesn’t love you back and you know it. I know you know it. And I know you’ve known it for years now. But I know what it's like, it feels like a constant weight on your chest and when they walk in the room, it disappears even if you try to hold it down, but then their presence, their joy, their affection for someone else, drains you, the energy you put in to try make them notice your love just gets brushed away until eventually it leaves you so empty that you become a hollow shell of the person that fell for them all that time ago.” 

“I can't tell you how to get rid of it simply because I don’t know how to, but I can offer you some advice that I should've taken before it was too late. Leave, Leave them alone. Leave their life. It'll suck balls for the first while I'm sure but by staying you're degrading yourself. All your insecurities and the suffering you're facing now will pass. This is doomed love sweetheart. You're slowly breaking down. Leave. Before you can't piece yourself together again.” 

And with that he leaves the library. 

How are you supposed to leave his life? How are you supposed to keep him out of yours? The questions won't stop plaguing your mind, do you take Remus's advice and move on, or do you ignore him and feel your heart pull and crack every time you see him. The choice will be the most difficult one you will ever make and yet it’s the one that needs to be made. 

You walk into potions the next day, you thought that it would help make a choice if you avoided him for a day as a trial. Instead of sitting in your normal seat, you walked over and sat beside a Ravenclaw who you believed was called Pandora.  

The Marauders walked in and sat at their tables; you avoided James’ gaze when you looked over to you in confusion, but Remus diverted his attention elsewhere. You had inwardly thanked Remus for helping you out. 

As the lesson went on everything got worse and your decision became clearer and clearer. 

Since the year started, James had started to think twice about the pranks, he acted more mature in general and overall started becoming a man. All of this was for Lily of course. You couldn’t help but ask yourself if he would do the same thing for you if he chose you in the first place. 

You were taking notice of all the little things that you're usually too delusional to notice. 

How every time he made a joke or laughed; he would glance at Lily. You could feel your heart in your throat. 

How he would wink and smirk at her when he got an answer correct. A tear forms in your eye. 

How he would look over at her to make sure she understood the topic. Another tear forms. 

How he whispers the answer in her ear if she doesn’t know it. Another one 

How he shines with pride when Professor Slughorn appraises her. Another. 

More tears form until you couldn’t stop them anymore. Thankfully the class was dismissed, and you quickly left before the tears fell and left a salty trail down your cheek. A representation of your life back then. Although in thinking that you can't help but notice that it didn’t get any better. Hindsight is a funny thing after all. 

#james potter x reader #james potter #marauders era #marauders #remus lupin x reader #james potter x you #james potter angst #james potter x lily evans #lily evans #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #severus snape #sirius black #unrequited love #unrequited crush #heartache #marauders fanfiction #james potter fanfiction #james potter fic #james potter one shot #song lyrics #james potter imagine #marauders angst