#also i am not really sorry about the hurt that will come

[cock-holliday]

I’m cropping you for your own privacy. I appreciate that you’re asking, but you are…wildly uninformed about this.

First, Pride is not BDSM-related. Every pride I have attended is extremely “family friendly” when it’s not an 18+ event, which makes it very clear that it’s an adult event and usually requires ID. It’s like any street festival. I’ve often seen more scantily clad Paddys parades. There’s Mardi Gras. You ever been to beach parties? I’ve seen more bare ass at a pool than I ever saw at Pride events. Pride is (frequently) a parade accompanied by cops and banks so nudity wouldn't be permitted, it's orgs tabling and handing out fliers, it's a dance party. It’s really not that serious.

Second, when it comes to things that make you uncomfortable, I promise you your discomfort does not mean you are not safe. Lemme repeat that: your discomfort does not mean you are unsafe. Public nudity is the absolute easiest thing to ignore. Turn your head. Walk away. I have seen cis guys plastered drunk in the city at football games pissing against the wall of a building and it's supremely easy to just go the other way. In the event you accidentally see a nipple or bulge or Idk, a leather belt? or whatever else you're so afraid of, it's not going to hurt you, and you can just walk away.

Third, any sexual elements of Pride come from the fact that sexuality was/is criminalized. People having a chaste kiss while queer is equated by bigots as being as heinous as fucking in the street. So people are going to be rowdy and unabashed about how their bedroom life is not going to be policed. Not by cops, not by you.

I went to a small town pride march where it was mostly queer teens and their parents and it was a chance for everyone to walk around with their flags and get ice cream. That's it. I've also been to +21 queer bar parties where people are topless or in assless chaps and wearing collars and have written obscene words on their bodies and that's also fine. I was not required to do anything I was uncomfortable with and I did not feel the need to tell others what to do. I could always leave. You can just leave things that make you uncomfortable.

Pride is a spectrum of experiences and nothing mainstream is going to be vulgar, and if it is to you, that is for you to reflect on, because why are silly outfits, or a nipple, or a leather hat so repulsive to you that you shake at the idea of not only seeing them, but merely being in the vicinity of where that might happen?

I am sorry you've been so convinced by homophobia that Pride is some scary place to be, and I had no doubts you haven't been before based on your questions. Ask what about it scares you so much. Ask what you can do to keep yourself safe and comfortable. And frankly just mind your business! If you wanted you'd be perfectly able to dance to some top-40 chart summer shit radio music and buy a slushie and get a g-rated rainbow keychain at the Target booth and be completely unhindered by others enjoying pride in their own ways.

#ask

[thecapricunt1616]

Pearls - (c.b. one-shot)

♡ One-Shot Inspo: Pearls are associated with feminine energy, intuition, and nurturing qualities. Some say they can enhance a woman's natural grace and elegance, and connect her with her inner femininity. Also, In many traditions, pearls symbolize love, wisdom, and inner beauty. They are often exchanged as gifts to express deep affection and admiration. ♡ Summary: It's your birthday, and your man pulls out every stop to show you just how much he loves & worships you in every way. ♡ W/C: 4,600 ♡ Posted Date: 06/06/24 ♡ A/N: Hello! This is for my darling love @carmenberzattosgf - everyone say ' HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIRTY OLIVE MARTINI!!! ' RN!!!! She truly is the love of my tumblr life, I hope you enjoy this my sweetest moot!! I hope you also had a wonderful wonderful birthday. For all you folks that have asks rotting away in my inbox (STILL) i'm sorry :( I am still working I promise, But special days like this only come once per year we have to celebrate while we can! I hope you all enjoy this in the meantime :) ♡ Warnings for BTC: SMUTTY SMUT SMUT - Incl. but not limited to *ehehem* *cracks knuckles* ; Cockwarming, Spanking, Praise Kink, Choking (hands & arm), (kinda) bondage (it’s just gift ribbon so not really? But still restrained), Daddy!kink (this is mostly for dirty olive martinis reading pleasure & no one elses really in mind, kay, it’s martinis birthday, but you can read it if it’s yours - anywhore, if you don't like the d word SCOOT ALONG) it can be avoided though im not obnoxious w/ it, heavy cavity inducing fluff & aftercare, lowkey sugar daddy!carmy, Fem!/AFAB!Reader, R has long hair, No use of Y/N, Fem!Pet names (Babygirl, Sweetheart, Babe, Baby, Princess, Good Girl, Bunny/Kitten ETC), Established relationship, Unprotected PIV sex, Creampie/Breeding kink, & Other BDSM themes.

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

365. Another 365 days had passed, and you were another year older. Another year wiser and all that. It wasn’t usually a day that was out of the blue extraordinarily different then any of the other 364 days of the year, but Carmen made sure that now that you had been official for just about 8 months - it was a day to remember. 

He had this day marked in his apple calendar from the day you’d told him, which was your second date. He felt a bit … creepy doing that so soon. But he just brushed it off as telling himself he was bad with numbers, you were the first person to bring him out of his years-long dry spell, he’d seen you more then once, and didn’t just hook up and dip afterwards, so he figured if it did go anywhere, it couldn’t hurt to make sure it was documented. 

But the day had come, and Jesus fucking Christ was he nervous. He felt stupid for being nervous, you would probably laugh if you knew he was nervous. Tell him to cut it out, that it’s not that important - to which he would give you one of his little laughs. He had big plans for the day, which started with the day off of work, but him getting up at 5 am anyway to make you a gourmet Michelin starred breakfast in bed. 

He tried being quiet as he could, but so many years screaming (and being screamed at) in a commercial kitchen, and all the clanging of pots and pans - his hearing had been a bit dented. So you did wake up to the pleasant smell of coffee and bacon, and came out to see him standing there shirtless making some kind of caramelized French toast. “Shit” he hissed as he touched the pan on accident,  shaking his hand momentarily before continuing as he always did. 

He didn’t water burns anymore unless they bled, it was just a waste of time to him otherwise. “I’m surprised you still have tattoos on your hands” you said, causing him to jump a bit, startled, and turn around to face you, dropping his spatula on the island 

“Baby! Happy birthday- I’m sorry I musta woke you” he comes over, hugging you to his chest and kissing the top of your head “I got coffee all ready for you” he said and led you over to your usual spot at the island and setting down your mug, pouring you a cup and grabbing your favorite creamer from the fridge. It was creamer he made for you, fresh toasted hazelnuts and Indian vanilla beans that he made sure to take a few home whenever the restaurant got them imported. 

“I told you you didn’t have to do anything baby it’s just another day” you said and he mixed it up with a spoon, tapping it on the rim before dropping it off in the dishwasher. 

“That’s bullshit baby you know it- it’s your day, should be a national holiday” he joked, setting another piece of the home baked brioche bread in the vanilla caramel custard mix he’d whipped up with heavy cream and setting it in the pan, sprinkling some cinnamon on top. 

“Mm right. The national day of me where everyone has to bring me presents, and you have to cook me my favorite food. Is that-“

“Your creme brûlée French toast princess, it is” he finished for you and flipped it. The smell was mouth watering. You saw on the counter a bowl with buttery white fluff in it and knew he must have made the whip cream for it too. 

“How did I manage to land the best boyfriend ever?” You muse, taking a sip of your coffee he made you that was perfect per usual. He always made sure to memorize just how you like your food and drink, among other things about you that you were sure to come later. 

It wasn’t long before there was a plate being set in front of you with bacon and eggs and amazing looking French toast that was fucking filled with strawberry filling when you cracked it to cut it, you didn’t even know how the fuck he did that. He brought the dishes to the sink, rinsing them between nibbles of his own naked French toast. 

That was how it usually went, he cooked, then insisted on cleaning, after he made you a perfect and beautiful plate of food that was so stunning you hardly could handle eating it, all while he was nibbling the leftovers or the ‘failed portions’ he called them. You still enjoyed yourself, the food was so delicious how could you not. After you’d finished breakfast it was all up to you how you wanted to do your day. 

You were already over the moon he had taken the day off to be with you, so for now in the early 8 am sun you were sat out on the balcony, smushed together on a sun chair. His arms were wrapped securely around your back as you just sat, enjoying each other's silence. It was so nice to have him this way. 

“Do you want your gift now, or later?” He asked gently, continuing to drag his fingers up and down the length of your back. Your head popped up, fuck. The sun made his eyes impossibly blue. You didn’t think eyes could be that blue until you met Carmy. He was stunning, absolutely gorgeous. Like he was carved from stone. He always got all blushy when you told him that, his cheeks and the bridge of his nose doing that sweet pink you loved so much. 

“You got me a present?” You asked, happiness lacing your tone. You did tell him specifically you didn’t want or need anything, that you’d be beyond happy if he could just get the day off of work and spend it with you, and so when he told you he would be able to do that -  you were over the moon. 

“Maybe- I might have made reservations for dinner, too. So, how about that present sweetheart?” He asked and a smile curled on your lips. 

“You’re a sappy bear” you teased and kissed his lips lovingly before getting up, taking his hand with you and he followed leading you to the bedroom. 

“I love spoiling you, what can I say?” He reached under his side of the bed, pulling out a black and white bag from under his side of the bed that made you gasp a bit when you read the font. 

Chanel?

“Carmy- Carmy this is really-“

“You don’t have to wear it, if you hate it. It’s vintage, I called in a few favors with a friend I made in my time in Italy when I was doing some shadow work in the pastry side of things. It’s uh, so it’s the 97’ spring collection” he took out a black dress bag and your heart thumped against your ribs. You hadn’t ever owned something so high end before - let alone vintage. 

“So it’s kinda reflective of the more business chic look? I guess, that’s what she said was popular at the time” he unzipped it and you watched as he peeled back the fabric to reveal a stunning black dress with pearl buttons that were breathtaking. 

“Oh- Carmen” you whispered, stepping forward and touching the soft but thick fabric, it was stiff, nearly perfect. This wasn’t…a thrifted piece “Carmy who’s dress is this? I- I mean… you got it second hand, right?” You look at him, fingers grazing over one of the smooth buttons 

“No- no babe it. Yeah, this is…I guess you can call it one of a kind? They never put it into production not…not enough companies bought the design I guess, it’s been worn by one model one time baby, for like 10 minutes. It’s practically new-“

“That’s not-“ you shook your head “I don’t care if it was thrifted that feels kind of stupid to say, but you mean that I’m the only one to have this dress? Like…like, where did you even get it?” You questioned and he chuckled a bit. 

“I didn’t. I just got to see the photos of it, well- I didn’t have the time to go to the retired fashion house with my friend and look but she FaceTimed and I picked from what they had in your size. You don’t like it? Shit…” he muttered to himself looking back at the dress and you could practically hear the negative gears turning in his head

“I fuckin love it” you inturrupted and took the hanger from him, walking over to the mirror “holy fuck I’m like-“ you giggle “I’m look like I’m straight out of gossip girl- can I try it on? No! No. Later. Later- what time is our reservation?” You turn to him and he smiled at your enthusiasm. 

“It’s at 6- but you have other gifts not just that one baby” he took a box from the bag as well as a smaller box. 

“More-“ your jaw drops, walking over to the bed. You see the ribbon tying the bigger box together and bit your lip to contain your grin at your less than pure ideas. “I think you gave more than just the gift in the box” you undid the big luxurious bow, the tendrils of ribbon cascading all the way to the floor. There was plenty of it to use for activities later. 

“Is that so?” He held you from behind, chin on your shoulder as you flipped open the lid of the box, tugging open the tissue paper and gasping. 

“Are those-“

“More pearls” he held up the bag, by its handle, tugging off the dust bag to reveal sleek crocodile leather and a ‘Chanel’ logo clasp you could have only dreamed of when you were younger. 

“Holy fucking shit” you held it in your hands, nearly feeling like you should be wearing gloves because of how beautiful and precious the bag was. “You remembered that” you said as you thumbed over the pearls on the handle and he huffed a chuckle, patting your hip. 

“I try my best to remember everything I can about you, it’s kinda my job now” he kissed your cheek “so…y’like it?” He questioned. You were in shock, really. You didn’t even want to breach the thought in your mind of how much it might have costed him, over a birthday - just one day, just your day. 

You knew Carmy was fairly frugal, the man didn’t even invest in an extra dresser to store his beloved jeans in, until you moved in, of course. When you moved in - his apartment became much more alive in a literal sense and emotional one. You had put up artwork you’d found on your trips together to thrift stores, he told you that you had an eye for it, and of course he found you the cutest outfits in return for your decorating skills. 

You had found a total of 3 bear ash trays, 5 bear coffee mugs, a Smokey the Bear T shirt (he only wore it to bed since apparently, you teased,  he was too ‘cool guy’ to wear a printed shirt in public), a set of fourteen bowls, cups, and plates that were printed with what you both assumed was the California state bear  because there was absolutely the California state flag on one of the serving platters - but it was… hand painted? You both laughed until your ribs hurt when you found it, because what the hell was it doing in Chicago? Plus, the bears looked so silly. They became your favorite plates, the very ones you had your breakfast on a few hours prior. 

“No - I..I love it. I love it - I can’t believe you remembered my birthstone.” You said gently, looking at the beautiful gold clasp. You opened it, to see the embossed stamp inside ‘made in Italy’ your heart fluttered at the sight. “I love you” you turned around and hugged him tight. He rubbed your back, enveloping you in one of his big warm hugs, his strong arms rubbing over your back and he kissed your neck gently. He hadn’t shaved yet today, so his stubble scratched at your jaw as he kissed down, over your shoulder. 

You still hadn’t changed out of the velvet robe he’d gotten you a month or so ago, he loved that robe. He saw one just like it while you were snuggling In bed one night. It was hot pink, juicy couture. Something one of Natalie’s friends he crushed on would have worn back in 2005 at a sleepover. He had hunted all over the internet for it until he found it, $90 on depop but he bought it anyway since he’d absolutely scoured the sleepwear section at every thrift in Chicago for it, no dice. 

He tugged the shoulder down, kissing over the bare skin gently before resting his nose in the nook of your neck and holding you close. “I love you bear, so much” you manage to say without sounding as tear filled as you were. “You treat me so special” you sniffled a bit, pawing away your tears quickly so he wouldn’t have to see them. He hated seeing you cry. Even when they were happy tears, it made him want to cry - and he hated crying. 

“Open y’last gift- well, second t’last we’re picking up the last on the way t’dinner” he pecked your lips sweetly and urged you to sit on the bed, setting the small box in your palm and kissing your head. “Open baby. I think you’ll look amazing” he said as you untied the box and tugged it open to reveal 2 stunning mother of pearl earrings encased in gold. 

“So- they’re vintage. Like everything else, cause I know you like it more like me y’know - quality and all that shit. But, ok so” he picked one up and showed you “they’re from the 80s, but I thought the gold was super fuckin sick. So I got em- didn’t realize they were clip on- and I called them and the lady said that was the style? Er whatever? And that they’re heavy, so it’ll be more comfortable for-“

You interrupt him with a kiss, taking the box with fumbling hands and putting it to the side, cupping his cheeks. He hummed gently into you, his hands finding yours and giving them a light squeeze. You pulled away after a few moments of intense kissing, mostly tongue and teeth and small moans coming from the both of you. You pant softly, eyes flicking down to his now red kiss bitten lips before looking back up into his ones that you could only describe as resembling his birthstone. 

“I want you to tie me up, and fuck me like you own me, that is what I want for my birthday afternoon” you toss the ribbon from the purse box at his chest and it flutters down into his lap to which he watches it and looks back at you. 

“That seems like something I should get for my birthday and that’s not for 2 months. But okay - can’t tell y’no on your birthday” he untied your robe and tugged it off, brows raising when he realized you didn’t even bother to put on panties after last nights activities. “Fuck-” he mumbled, kissing down your neck and gently nipping at the tender skin. His mouth sent trails of fire down to the pit of your core, mouthing over you in a way that made you whimper beneath him prettily. 

“Need you so bad daddy” you laid back, hair splayed over the pillow beneath you. The way his eyes raked over your naked frame would have made you insecure if it had been any other hookup you had before him. With Carmy it was different, he was observing you, trying to decide which part of you he wanted to worship first - taking his time with you was his favorite thing to do. It was never mean, never teasing, but moreso savoring the moment, he savored every single second he had of you this way like the first time, every time. 

“I gotchu babygirl” he kissed down your chest, tongue swirling and dancing over your sensitive skin, while his warm palm - so warm, so - so warm, so warm that if you were made of sugar you’d be melting into him - well, you might as well should be considering how pliant you were to his touch - was kneading at the plush fat of your thigh as he ravished your top half. “So soft” he muttered into your skin, sucking little bruises into the flesh of your breast. You watched him, mumbling soft praises into each part of you as if he was telling each body part of yours individually how perfect and meant for him they were. How you were so, so beautiful. Flawless, that was a word he often liked to use. It honestly made you blush, but over the months it made you much more confident in yourself, the negative voices you heard in your mind were usually replaced by his real voice of praise. 

“N’smell so good kitten” he nuzzled his nose in the hill of your cleavage, inhaling. “Mmm- how’d I get so lucky t’have you, hmm? Such a pretty girl wanting to spend her special day with me” you smiled at that, your cheeks felt like they were on fire, so did your cunt- clenching and clit twitching at every praise. He knew what It did to you, how wild it drove you. 

“I ask myself how I got so lucky every day, take care of me so good” you took his wrist, moving his hand needily towards your pussy that was basically crying for attention at this point “please take care of me daddy” you said gently, voice wanton and needy. 

“Oh, princess, f’course- already so wet f’me huh?” he ran his fingers through your folds, earning a pretty moan out of you, your head falling back to the pillow in bliss. “Always so responsive t’me, so well behaved” he mused, easily finding your clit and rubbing light circles over the swollen nub. Your hips buck at the contact, a whine peeling from your lips absentmindedly and hand reaching up to roll your nipples between your fingers as he kissed down your sternum, and ribs, and stomach, trailing down to where you were needing him the most.

“S-so wet” you breathe, spreading your thighs wider to make room for him. 

“God- I could spend the rest of my fuckin’ life between these legs” he kissed the same plush of your thigh he’d been pawing at earlier, spreading your nether lips with his fingers and just admiring. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever fuckin’ seen- jesus” he leaned in, his mouth finally making contact with your warmest part, licking a stripe up with the pad of his tongue. The feeling of the pressure as he padded his tongue over your throbbing, sensitive bud, could only be explained as something otherworldly by the way fireworks sprayed behind your closed lids and back arched to the sky. “Taste even better” he mumbled, it was barely audible but you absolutely felt the sensation, as it caused your hips to grind against his face and other hand that wasn’t stimulating your nipples to find the back of his head and essentially ride his face from the bottom.

You felt his tongue lapping at your entrance, before lapping back up and kissing at your clit - basically making out with your pussy, it felt so incredible your brain felt like it could melt out of your ears. “H-holy fuck” you babbled, tugging at his hair in a way that made him groan. He wasn’t exactly a masochist, but he’d told you before he loved it when you left scabs on his back for a week and when you tugged his hair so hard that it hurt the next day it made him hard thinking about it- so you made sure to give him that whenever he made it possible. 

“Yea? Like that daddy?” you breathed, you loved this game you got into. You were there to serve, he was there to praise, the perfect duality for your mixture of kinks. 

“Always so good princess, y’know exactly how t’get me off” he placed a wet, intemerate kiss on your thigh, his chin leaving a print of your glistening creamy arousal and making a click noise at the soaked contact. The action made you clench, which in turn made him smile into your heat, nudging the bridge of his nose against your clit in the way that made your hips thresh beneath him. He chuckled into you, the vibration causing a pathetic whine to leave your lips. “Jumpy bunny, mm?” he mused before continuing

Your jaw fell slack orgasm closely approaching as his middle finger broached your entrance and he sunk in to his palm, curling his finger in a come here motion, as if he was beckoning your orgasm - and It was working. Each brush of the pad of his finger against your sweetest spot made a sweet whimper leave your lips. His lips attach to your clit, sucking and flicking his tongue against it like there was no tomorrow. Your spine arched to the sky, and his other arm came across your hips, holding you firmly in place. Since you could no longer wriggle away from the heavenly stimulation - you resorted to pathetic whines and cries. 

“I-I’m cumming- ohhh- oh daddy- fu-fuuuuhuuuck- shit- ah!” you squeak, mind going fuzzy and thighs quivering as unbeknownst to you you soaked your shared sheets, little hums and ‘oh’s’ stuttering from your lips. 

“Always takin’ me so good, mm babygirl? Even on your day” you came back to him grabbing your hips and rolling you over, looking over the hill of your shoulder as his knee held your thighs down and he grabbed the at least 4 feet of Chanel printed ribbon tugging your hands behind your back and you clasped your fingers into open-fingered fists due to your manicure Carmy always made sure was no more then a week old, smiling to yourself as you mushed your cheek against the mattress while you pull your knees underneath yourself to support your upper half. “Y’lucky Mike forced me into that year of cubscouts” he muttered as he tied a decently tight reef knot into the ribbon. You giggled a bit considering the memories he told you about that year of his life. His dad was the ‘den dad’ which was his ultimate demise as his dad thought masculinity was the end all be all - so made Carmy be the first kid to kill a rabbit during their hunting exercise. But, the other memories were quite funny of him getting lost in a canoe, his first time grilling a hot dog over a fire and setting it (and a tent) on fire, you both got a good kick whenever he talked about it.

Like Richie, which was unsurprising since he was basically his second older brother - Carmy loved to tell, and retell - and retell - stories about his beloved older brother. You had figured it was because of just how much he missed him. In between getting lost in your thoughts of why you loved your boyfriend so much, you felt a sharp smack on your ass. “Answer when I talk t’you, you know the rules” he said and you whimper at the sting to which he leans down and kisses the offended cheek, thats new.

“S-sorry Daddy- I didn’t listen, please- m’sorry, say it again” you beg, looking back at him while laying on your shoulder, eyes pleading. 

“M’only gonna be nice cause its y’r day. I said, D’you want me t’stretch you out or you want another?” he brought his dominant hand to your clit, middle and forefingers pinching the pulsing nub between and tugging it back and forth with a small click, click your wetness introduced with the motion. 

“No- no- stretch me, I want it hard” you plead, wiggling your ass towards him pathetically “Want bruises daddy” you begged and he bit his lip harshly, the already red abused flesh going white with the action. 

“No - Maybe when we get home, m’not leavin’ y’black and blue before a dinner like this, the food’ll be too good f’you to be whining ‘bout it hurtin’ n’wantin’ t’come home” he spanked you rough enough to leave a stinging mark. You whimpered at the force of it

“Ok- okay- yes sir” you agreed, “N-need your cock. Please- “ you begged. He tugged you up by your wrists, carefully of course, supporting most of your weight by your ribs with his forearm and his hand trailed up your body, finding your neck and gripping just hard enough for that yummy, light feeling to grace your head. Natures high. 

“Yeah kitten? Need it? Say it again, I love hearing you beg” he tightened his hand, a small smirk coming to your lips. He always gave you exactly what you needed. 

“Pl-please, Daddy, Need you so bad- need your cum - please” he brought his lips firmly to yours, swallowing your moans as he pushed inside of you, just his tip causing you to shudder in pleasure and whine into his mouth. He squeezed your throat harder, fucking up into you relentlessly. His heavy balls slapped against the meat of your ass, kissing along your hairline as he went on an expedition to chase your next orgasm. If anything, the man was determined in bed. 

“Yeah? Need me t’fill this pretty pussy up? Yea?” he growled in your ear, smacking down on your left cheek with his other hand as he continued. You fell slack against you, not minding he was holding you by the throat and fucking up in to you like a sex doll, it felt good to be used, by him anyway.

“Fill me- please fill me up daddy- Need it- n-need your cum” you whined out. Your voice didnt even sound like yours anymore, it was horse, fucked out, needy, whorish. “So bad- so bad daddy” you added. He grunted, his forearm replacing his wrist and pulling you back as he buried himself to the hilt. He was grunting, and whining, and moaning in a way that made your cunt squeeze his cock like a vice. You gasp as he started instead of thrusting in and out, pulling his hips up and down - bringing a sensation that was making you dizzy with pleasure.

Blood roared in your ears, your g-spot was being assaulted by his tip in such a way you thought you may die from how good you felt, and his hot, raspy moans and praises about how wet, and warm you felt, along with how your pussy was sucking his cock inside - you could have died right then and it would have been more then a satisfying death, and life considering all the joy you’d run into since you’d started seeing Carmy exclusively. Without warning, you soak the sheets and Carm’s thighs. 

The noises you were making were straight up pornographic, and that wasn't lost on Carm either. The orgasm that washed over you - you swore was nearly drug-like - you’d never done them, but you swore the full body orgasm that washed over your being was something akin to a fentanyl high. It was so good,that when you came to - you were untied, and Carmy was coaxing the straw of your lilac colored Stanley bottle to your lips. “Drink, hmm princess? Y’shakin, and that was a big mess, need y’water” he cooed, gently stroking your hair with his other hand. 

“Hmm?” you sit up, a bit afraid of how much time had been lost, that had never happened before. “What - wh-what happened?” you asked a bit worried. Carmy pulled you back to his chest, kissing your temple. 

“Baby, princess, shhh- shh- here, have some water mm?” he coaxed and brushed your sweat stuck hair from your skin, bringing a relief to your boiling hot neck. You finally obliged and took a big gulp, looking up at him with worried, but trusting eyes. “S’only been 10 minutes, y’were shakin then you closed y’r eyes f’r a bit, s’ok, y’r okay sweetheart” He assured and grabbed your hairtie from your wrist, carefully tying up your hair. 

“Thank you f’takin care of me” you mumbled, resting your cheek on his sweat-sticky chest, as perv-like as it was enjoying the scent of your mixed arousal in the bedroom and rubbing your hand over his chest lovingly.  “S’my job angel, Happy birthday baby girl”

#Capri's Moots : Dirty Olive Martini <3 #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #the bear fic #the bear #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto fanfiction #the bear fanfiction #carmy berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto fluff #the bear carmen #carmen berzatto blurb #carmen berzatto smut #carmy berzatto smut #carmy the bear #carmy x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy #carmy x you #carmy smut #carmy x fem!reader #carmen berzatto the bear fanfiction #carmen berzatto the bear #borders & banners by saradika

[thedevilsoftruth]

Y'all saw this coming. Strap in your seat belts, you sexy people. Daddies back in action. Im sorry if this comes as a shock to people who follow me and dont enjoy NSFW content. It's just what i do here. This is the first nsfw post of Shane on here. Im also sorry to my Moon Knight girlies, Marc will be back again in a while. And remember, if you don't like it...

... don't read it. :))

Nsfw Shane Hcs for the soul ♡

He's a nervous little guy when you ask him for it. He just gets all flustered and will bottom out on you halfway through.

When he's the one asking for it... oh boy.

He's 100% not pressuring about it. He beats around the bush a lot. " I don't know, am I trying to get into your pants? Oh geez, why would I ever want to do that.... " As he's hugging from behind, pushing you into the counter and attacking your neck with sloppy kisses.

He'll deny his intentions on clearly trying to have sex with you as a way to tease you, and then when he gets in bed with you... well... the rest is history.

He runs out of stamina easily, so he likes to start off with foreplay or oral as a way to, as he says, " get the juices flowing " but really just to make sure you're comfortable, and he doesn't hurt you when he actually bangs you.

Horrible, terrible, down bad, filthy, outrageous, uncontrollable breeding kink. Always uses protection, but when the question is brought up of having kids, Lord have mercy, that man is ON HIS KNEES. His ears are PERKED up like a cartoon character. He likes finishing in you, but the idea of raising children with you is something he's always thought about. It's the least thing he can do to contribute to his family; keep the bloodline going.

Not the best performance when he's drunk. Towards the end, he'll get a bit faster, but he will be bottomed out half the time.

I know I'm talking about him bottoming out a lot, but he is a classic, slow, vanilla, missonary kinda guy. Bdsm freaks him the fuck out.

He just really doesn't want to hurt you. He's down for something rougher if that's what you want, but it's only if that what you want. He will always put YOU and YOUR safety before his.

" Am I hurting you? " He will slow down in the middle of your session to check up on you and make sure you're okay and comfortable. " Do you need me to stop? " etc.

And he's funny too. That man is hilarious in bed. He his making references to old movies in bed with you, he's singing songs, he's just being a dork. " You could say I'm rather.. cocky " as he's whipping it out. Really, bad, bad, horrible jokes, but that's the point of it. He just wants to make it more light-hearted for you so that you're happy and content with him.

Sometimes he'll play music. Marvin Gaye is a go-to.

And when he's done, he always gives you a nice massage and cleans you up. On his good days, he'll give you a bath. But his favorite thing is giving you a massage. He's experienced, too, with massaging the cows.

He lets you sleep on his chest when you're both done for the night. The next morning, he feels so. Fucking. Guilty.

" Baby, are you sore? Is there anything I can do? " is all he's able to ask you. He cares about you a lot, and he doesn't want to hurt you. He knows your hips have to hurt, especially with having to do your farm work in the morning. He'll ask you to stay in bed with him, and if you refuse, he'll make you dinner and then watch a movie with you and give you another massage.

#sdv #stardew #stardew valley #sdv shane #stardew shane #stardew valley shane hcs #stardew valley shane #shane stardew valley #sdv shane fanfic #shane sdv #sdv fanfic #stardew valley fanfic #sdv hcs #stardew valley hcs

[kel-lance]

JJK Mafia Au (JJK x Reader) PART 4

(quick chapter//moving plot)

Warnings:

- TW: Dead dove dont read (DDDR) Minors do not interact (MDNI): SA, Physical Assault, DubCon, NonCon, Mindbreak, Public Humiliation, Breeding, Ownership, Gaslighting, Multiple manipulation, RWORD, PTSD, a lot more toxic sh.

Premise:

Reader lives in a city where the two biggest gangs keep things line until the third gang showed up. That had nothing to do with you though, until dumb luck just happened to favor you one day. Basically You’re picked up and used by every dangerous criminal within the clans due to some alliances they had to create due to some members messing up the previous alliances. ((Almost everyone’s gonna have a turn 🤗)) ( i have 12 chapters planned out right now meaning after i write those ill still be writing more.)

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AN: Sorry for the long update i'm trying not to get evicted bc i was fired a while ago bc of a protest (surprise surprise big companies don't like or care about palestine or other places like it.) but i had to give away my cats and am still struggling i have my socials in my masterpost if you could help if not its okay ily, I hope you like it

____________________________________________________________

After the three took a break from you, Sukuna pushed Yuuji towards you. Todo just follows along, trying to make sure Sukuna doesn't kill Yuuji as they just don't know what Sukuna could be thinking at times like these.

You lay a top the bed, sheets strayed, your hair messy, your whole body sweaty and broken, you entirely were weak, and Yuuji couldn't stop saying sorry to your fucked out face. "Let's see what you got."

You didn't feel anything for a few minutes until Todo broke the silence. "You've got to do something, brother, you know I'll back you up."

Yuuji just continued to stand there. If he were to fight Sukuna with Todo on his back, he wouldn't know who else would fight with them. Todo would lose everything he already has and would blindly die for him, which he would never ask for. But if he were to go through with fucking you again for Sukuna's enjoyment, Todo would also have to add himself into the situation. This double edged sword was going to stab him either way, but which would hurt you less?

"Don't take too long..." The leader made motion that he was going to start walking towards you two. "NO." Yuuji covered you on the bed, staring off back at his older brother. Todo comes behind Yuuji, putting a hand on his shoulder before giving him a look, and sighing understandingly as he stripped off his shirt.

Todo and Yuuji's was almost awfully awkward at first. They just felt bad, not being able to tell if you were even conscious anymore and continuing to do to you what they were doing.

Really they weren’t allowed to stop until Sukuna was satisfied. Until Yuuji was sobbing, begging him to give you and everyone else a rest. He was asking what would it take to stop this?

The older brother taunts, “Maybe we’ll keep her til she births one of our children, or multiple if she can create sufficient and strong offspring. I don’t know, Yuuji, should I start a farm because of you? I heard the Zenin clan is somewhat similar…”

“Please, please, Sukuna what do you want?” He was breathless. “This has to stop, you can’t-.”

He stops his younger brother, “I have, I did, and I can continue this for as long as you both live. I think that may be the conclusion I’ll come to, don’t you think it would be fun to be an uncle?” His big hands caress your stomach, feigning tenderness to his soon to be child or “sibling’s” child.

- You go back to your room where you stay in for a week.

- A random night, someone breaks in and tries to kidnap you and you didn’t know who it was, obviously you weren’t going with them without an explanation.

-That caused you to fight back as your dealing with everything so far, you were getting pissed being treated like a doll. The person who broke in gets captured, just before he says “Yuuji’s waiting outside, trust me.”

- Sukuna's family come in trying to make sense of the situation and the others had captured the mystery guy

- That's not before he throws you to two female ninjas. They secure you quickly and run back to their master Toji.

- their clan/gang is super powerful, the twins you can guess are Maki and Mai, and Sukuna (the new head of one of the three big families that control the large part of the area, the head of the Kamo gang) had just kidnapped their son, even if he did happen to barge in.

- Megumi’s been friends w Yuuji since they were kids but they never shared that.

- they met bc they were fighting bc yuuji was taught to fight ppl who give them looks (Sukuna wanted him to protect the family name no matter what, and megumi just had that face… and when they realized that they were part of the other side they had to come to extremes before realizing they were different from their families.

- they knocked each other out senseless and somehow one was still alive, megumi sat with yuuji while he regained consciousness and they started to talk more. Battered and bloodied but Yuuji finding the humor in it while Megumi thinks enough to like his character and realizes he’s just a big strong idiot.

- Maki and Mai are close, as sisters should be and they both have their loves (nobara and momo) and we all have to go team up with the gojo clan in order to make sure this trade off is safe and megumi and yuuji aren’t dead

- because now yuuji is with you at the toji clan too, it was supposed to be just you getting captured and then yuuji leaves to live his own life but now he’s in front of toji saying it was his fault that megumi’s now with his brother (sukuna)

- Yuuji explains that he and his son were friends since childhood, he says everything and everyone's on edge bc toji does what he wants, whenever, whatever, really anything for money.

- He says he knows he doesn’t have money, but the only thing he does have was something they both risked their lives for, so toji gets curious and wants to try you out.

- Toji fucks you senseless, making you think the train ran on you were more merciful. He was trying every hole, every position, just dressing you up and doing whatever he could with you, you were actually at your limit with him, enough to bring you back enough to start fighting again. You were getting sick of it, actually you think you were getting sick.

His inconsideration was on par with Sukuna's, though Sukuna cared more about his new objects while Toji wants them to know their place and to leave when he tells them to. He had to know why they would do all that for you//how did you survive so long in that clan he just has to see how durable you are and he’s LOVING IT.

- He asks you what you’ve been through and you don’t respond so he hits you again and again but you don’t cry so he does it AGAIN and you flinch enough to stop him, and start taking off his pants. His only response was "e’s like "Oh so they already trained you."

- You suck his dick and he pulls you up to kiss him, by your neck and places you on his dick and fucks you in the air, using gravity to its full advantage, that was the start of it all before the days of relentless attention and use, you were more sore than any of them have put you in. The hitting, cuts, just the amount of violence he's integrated into your sessions felt like training again, but worse.

- He’s wondering if he could keep you as his slut but remembered that it would be stupid to start a war when his kid couldn’t keep it in his pants. He blames Megumi for having a cold heart compared to his father's icy one.

- Toji makes up his mind to help and plans to betray/kill the sukuna clan when they get megumi back bc he doesn’t care but doesn’t say that.

-He plans a meeting with the other clan the top three have been fighting over the position of this location for years and now and ofc they’re all on edge.

- Gojo comes to the meeting with his clan, they’re not worried bc they know some of their clan can befriend some of the others involved. No ones been dead so they have some sort of unspoken treaty to leave each other alone but they never asked much from the other ever.

- Gojo settles down with his group, smug and tired bc everyone needs them to fix other peoples' problems for them. The community relied on the Gojo Clan to protect them when they also work with the Kamo and Zenin gangs, the people outside are just as gullible. He sits down and asks what could big ol Toji need from him,

- “It’s Megumi”

- Gojo drops his smile. Their other unspoken alliance was when Megumi was beaten up at a really young age bc of his status and itadori happened to be there too (same elementary school). Gojo beats the fuck out of the people who targeted the kids/second to heir the clans, and left, but Megumi finds him and asks why would he help them.

- Gojo said he can’t have his competition get angry, his people are at stake. (referencing to the shifting power in-between the gangs that they didn't know about yet, and that his person was leaving his clan to join the other, he didn't know why he was doing anything anymore at that point but he couldn't let more powerless powerful children get hated on.) Megumi says thank you and takes Itadori back near his gang before disappearing back to his clan.

- Gojo actually has been in contact with his friend who's joined the other clan. That's how he knows what's usually going on with them to keep them rangled up and behaving as much as they could to not cause trouble or cause attention to groups like theirs.

Gojo and Geto were very young when they met, and since their lives were everything but normal, they were given the chance to take in more young bodies to add to their clan. They raised them together, but geto left.

Gojo begged for days for him to reconsider, they day he left he was inconsolable, especially since he took the twins too. Geto couldn't separate the girls, but he could separate himself from Gojo, in his head it's to help Gojo in the future because of the power he'll have.

Gojo didn't care about that, he didn't want help he just wanted Geto. That was all he needed, he had decided. He could have ruled the world and done it confidently if he had Geto by his side, but things don't go through when you're young, and now you're about to catch as many years he hadn't been able to get out.

- He's not nice at all when you're under his care. With Geto leaving at a critical age in learning, his feelings had been all over the place. He was completely disordered, his goals and morals and everything went awry, with the years he couldn't get himself out of the timestamp of when he knew happiness.

- So he asks you about Geto, his best friend, the only one that could make him feel real again. The one person who didn't do things for him because of his name and status, and yet left with the excuse of protecting Gojo from future evil. It was enough to drive the strongest insane.

- He asks you everything by torture, not too physical that anyone can see. WHen trading you back you should at least look and act like you're in the same condition, if not better than what you were when they traded you off. Just anything that Toji didn't already give you, Gojo would have mindless enjoyment from digging his fingers into the fatter parts of your belly, legs, and forearms.

- He’s only doing this to see Geto again. He just wants to pass the time until he can finally feel good again. He's strong, he's smart, he's beautiful, when would life be good to him instead of him making everyone else's lives better just by being there. It made him coky, it made him secretly weak willed to his own desires, so his processing was different than most.

- He asks u what he looked like and everything about him while fucking you. it was the closest he’s got rn. "I don't know's" made him reel back more, his strikes becoming almost boneshaking and shattering. He was making Toji seem gentle. Now that something he cares about is just a memory away, he just couldn't stop himself.

-You were so close to him, even if you never spoke to him, even if you never saw him in the maybe month you were staying at the Pink haired clan. But his aura seemed to have darkened when you mentioned twins. There were just so many either of you could have known but it just seemed to rile him up more. Seriously you would need a doctor and healing time after this. You couldn't let that happen again.

-There was nothing else to take from it, it was a hell you would only wish for the person already committing it. It made you miss the tenderness of Sukuna and the warmth of Toji, it didn't matter what they did or how you got there, anything sounded better than Gojo being without his favorite things. And you were barely part of it.

#jjk x reader #jjk #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #x reader #dark jjk #tw #tw dark content #jujutsu gojo #taaotjjk #sukuna smut #sukuna #ryoumen sukuna #sukuna ryomen #yuuji itadori #jujutsu megumi #megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader #gojo x geto #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo smut #satoru gojo #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji smut

[blckbarbiedoll]

Million Dollar Baby

Chapter 4-Advantage, Zweig

CONTAINS NSFW CONTENT (fingering, p in v sex, kissing, etc.)

September 12, 2007-Stanford, California

"I missed you." Tashi said as she took a bite of her food.

"I missed you too. I'm gonna try to come visit more."

"So, what've you been up to?" Art asked. "Ya know, besides being the best tennis player in the world?"

"Definitely not the best. Maybe second best." You joked.

"Oh, come on. You're fucking phenomenal. You've won two grand slams and you're going to the Olympics at 19. You have an Adidas brand deal."

Tashi's demeanor changed. She looked a mix between annoyed and sad. You rolled your eyes and laughed.

"Guess what." You asked.

"What?"

"I ran into Patrick at the U.S. open."

They both paused their actions for a moment and looked at each other.

"Cool." Tashi responded.

"You can't avoid him forever. I know he misses you guys."

"Come on. We're gonna be late for the movie." Art stood up, changing the subject.

🎾

"We should do something over the summer." You suggested.

Art's arm was wrapped around your waist as the three of you walked into the campus.

"What about Florida?"

"Babe, you can go to Florida anytime. Let's go somewhere tropical."

"Well, when you win the Olympics next year, we can go somewhere to celebrate."

"I'm definitely not gonna win. I'm just happy I qualified."

"You're definitely gonna win. And I'm gonna be watching on tv cheering you on."

You rolled your eyes and kissed him softly. Once you got into the school and into the elevator, you parted ways with him.

"I'll meet up with you later. I'm gonna hang out with Tashi for a bit."

"I'll miss you."

"I'll send you a post card from the other side of the campus." You both walked into her room and you flopped onto the bed. "You okay?" You asked her. "You've barely said a word since we walked out the theater."

"What's your goal here?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you tryna get back at me for something?"

"Tashi, what're you talking about?"

"It seems like lately all you've been doing is bragging about your perfect little boyfriend, and your perfect little career, and your perfect little life."

"Are you jealous?" You stood up.

"Yeah. I guess I'm fucking jealous. Jealous of the life that should've been mine."

"What?"

"I spent my entire life trying to get where you are. I worked, and I sacrificed, and I busted my ass for what I have. You didn't even want this!" Tears fell down her face as she walked closer to you. 

"Look, I'm sorry you got hurt. I really am. But that's not my fault and you don't have to take it out on me."

"It should be me going to the Olympics! It should be me with Art!"

"Art? So now this is about you wanting my boyfriend?"

"You're traveling most of the year! He doesn't need someone like that! He needs someone who can be there for him!"

"You intolerable bitch." You scoffed. "When you're done projecting your insecurities onto me, let me know."

"Sometimes I wish you got hurt instead of me."

Your jaw clenched and you felt your eyes begin to water.

"Patrick was right about you." You opened the door and hesitated a minute before opening it. "The worst part is even after all this, I'll probably still love you." You walked out and made your way to Art's dorm. You wiped your tears away before you knocked, not wanting him to worry.

"Hey. That was quick."

"Hey, I'm gonna leave a few days early, okay?" You walked in and set your suitcase on the bed.

"What? You just got here last night."

"I know. I just think I should go now." You shoved your stuff into the bag, avoiding eye contact with him.

He grabbed your hand to stop you from packing. 

"Slow down. Are you crying? Did something happen?"

You wiped your face again and pulled your hand away.

"Tashi and I had a fight."

"But you guys'll be okay, right?"

"I don't think so." You took a deep breath. "I also think we should take a break."

"A break? Did I do something?"

"No, Art." You grabbed his hands. "You didn't do anything. I just need a little time. Between just coming from the U.S. open, organizing the brand deal, training for the Olympics, and now this fight, it's just too much. But I love you so much. I just need some time."

"How much time?"

"I don't know. But I'm always gonna love you. Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

You gathered the rest of your belongings and hugged him goodbye. You kissed his cheek and headed towards the door.

"I love you, Art."

"I love you too."

🎾FOUR YEARS LATER🎾

You waited anxiously by the door, waiting for a knock. After pacing back and forth for twenty minutes, you heard the sound you had been waiting for.

"Hey, Pat." You smiled as you pulled him into a hug.

"Hey, beautiful. Nice room. I mean, The Ritz? The Adidas money came in, I see."

"Thanks." You laughed and led him inside. "Do you want a drink? I made the dinner reservation for 8:00."

"Sure."

You grabbed two beers and sat on the sofa. You patted the spot next to you, signaling for him to sit.

"So, tell me what you've been up to." You took a sip.

"Uh, well, I still haven't won a slam."

"You'll get there. It's almost a new year."

"What about you? Gonna be a two time olympic gold medalist."

"I might not win."

"You will."

"Maybe."

"For sure."

You laughed and set your beer on the coffee table before scooting closer to him.

"You seeing anyone?" You asked him.

"Nah. Ya know how it goes. They always wanna come, but they never wanna stay."

"They're idiots then. Any girl or guy would be lucky to have you."

"You got a boyfriend?"

"No."

"Girlfriend?"

"I've just been keeping to myself since Art and I broke up."

"What happened?"

"I just needed a break." You sighed. "But, c'est la vie." You shrugged.

"Ayesha?"

"Hm?"

"Why'd you invite me to your hotel?"

"I heard you were in town, and I had the night off."

"We haven't talked in four years. Why now?"

"I missed you, Patrick."

"You missed me?"

"Am I not allowed to miss my friend?"

"Is that what we were?"

"We were both taken, so yeah. That's what we were."

"And what about now?"

"I think...the night is still young. Who knows what could happen."

"Huh." He smirked as his arm draped over the back of the couch. "You wanna know something?"

"Sure."

"Sometimes I wish that I had gotten your number instead of Tashi's."

"Well, you have my number now."

"I do."

You smiled and leaned in to press your lips against his. He held onto your waist to pull you closer to him. You grabbed Patrick's hand and led him to the bedroom.

"I missed you so much." He whispered while he was urgently taking your clothes off. He kicked his shoes off and lifted his shirt over his head. "I think about that night at the hotel a lot." He said while unzipping your romper. "I regretted not fucking you that night for years."

"Well, now's your chance." You kissed him roughly as your hands made work of his pants buttons. 

You pulled your romper down and tossed it onto the floor. He did the same with his jeans before picking you up and carrying you to your bed. He set you down and started to kiss your neck. Your hand went down to rub his dick through his boxers.

"Fuck." He groaned as his fingers slipped under your panties. "You're so wet for me already." 

"Patrick." You sighed as two of his fingers entered you, his thumb circling your clit.

His fingers continuously pumped in and out while he marked up your neck and chest. Your hand grabbed his bicep and squeezed it as the pleasure became too much to handle. 

"That feels good, doesn't it?"

"Oh my god, yes."

"I've been waiting for years to touch you." He kissed the spot right under your ear. "To make you cum."

"Oh, fuck." You groaned.

"You gonna cum for me?" He whispered into your neck.

"Yeah." Your nails dug into his skin as he moved his thumb faster. "Shit!" You cried out as you came around his fingers. 

He slowly pulled them out and brought them to his lips. "You taste so good."

You flipped him over so that you were on top of him. He helped you pull your panties down and you threw your bra onto the floor. You hovered so that he could get his boxers off. He kissed you while your hand went down to slowly stroke him. You lined your hips up with his and sank down onto him.

"Shit." He groaned. He held onto your hips while you rocked back and forth.

"You feel so good." You moaned against his lips.

The room was filled with the sound of skin against skin and heavy breathing. You knew neither of you would last much longer. He moved his hand down to rub your clit.

"Art said you were good, but fuck, I didn't know you'd be this good."

"You talked about me?" You asked as you continued to move your hips.

"Yeah. He used to call me and I'd ask about you. He didn't tell me everything, but the little he did had me hard as a fucking rock."

"Did you jerk off while thinking about me?"

"Fuck." He sighed. "Yeah."

"That's so fucking hot."

He took the opportunity to copy you and flipped you over. He started thrusting into you while looking into your eyes.

"You're close again, aren't you?" He asked. You nodded, which made him smirk. "Words, baby. Lemme hear you."

"Yeah. I'm close."

"Me too. Where do you want it?"

"Inside."

"You sure?"

"I have an IUD. Please, Patrick, I want you to cum inside me."

He cursed under his breath and rubbed your clit faster as he felt himself letting go. You threw your head back against the bed as you finished with him. He rested his head in the crook of your neck while you both caught your breaths.

"Tashi was right." You spoke.

"Huh?"

"You do have a big dick."

You both laughed and laid together, basking in the afterglow.

#challengers #fanfic #ayesha brown #patrick zweig x reader #art donaldson x reader #tashi duncan x reader #challengers x reader

[palepinkgoat]

tag game Wednesday Thursday!

thank you for tags and mentions @gallawitchxx @thepupperino @wehangout @blue-disco-lights @gardenerian @deedala @energievie and @jrooc !!! I love you all so much.

how did you get into the fandom? Girl, let's get in a Time Machine to 2013.

I had just had a massive injury that left me unable to walk or leave my bed for months. In this time, I was watching YouTube a lot. YouTube knows me well, so one night said "oh, this is gay, you will like it." The clip was the van kiss. Like, the first kiss. It piqued my interest and soon I'm in a YouTube wormhole. Season 3 had finished so there were some newer uploads. I loving the morning scenes with the Gallaghers too, and once I kind of pieced it all together I went on amazon and bought the first 3 season digitally. There I was, obsessed and bed bound. After a little googling I found Tumblr around Christmas, and lurked until season 4 started. Then I started poking my head out a bit and reblogged some stuff. But I wasn't really fully "in" until I started writing fics in 2014. Then I got more active and after writing a series called Four Eight, more people learned who I was (via a post by a super "popular" and now deactivated Tumblr account). Then I was in. sidenote: Eventually I did physical therapy around the time the club kiss aired (being there for that in real time?? Guys, I'm still screaming) and I'd watch that over and over as I iced my weak leg and took half a prescribed Percocet. The club kiss was better than the Percocet.

how long have you been here? So technically I guess I've had Tumblr 10 years. In December it will be 11. HOWEVER I was not active for several years in between like season 7ish until after the series ended, so I guess I should subtract. But that gets too be too much math.

what’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?) Youtube at first since that's how I found them. I was also really into watch fan video edits and watched them OBSESSIVELY.

what’s your favourite now? For fandom, Tumblr! Nothing quite like it. I'm glad to be back.

which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom? Oh my gosh. @captainjowl, @wehangout and @the-rat-wins are the ones who come to mind but I'm sorry if I'm overlooking some. So many people left!

which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know? I remember really loving @captainjowl and being so glad when we got to be friends. Then because I almost have a Tumblr Season 2 life, I was really impressed by @heymacy and she just JUMPED off the screen. I wanted to be friends so I sent a message about chapell roan and now we talk ALL THE TIME. I've met so many newer to me people and I am so glad I know so many cool people.

first Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember) I wish I remembered the first fic I read!! Sexual Harassment in the Workplace was posted around the time I started writing fic and of course that's amazing. I know works by anythingbutgrief were some of the first too. Beautiful.

first fan art that blew your mind? @steorie blows my mind every time. That's the first person I remember just losing it over. But there are so many incredible artists!!

fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love? a/b/o! But I mostly was like "what the fuck is this about?" And then got on board pretty fast.

What surprised you most about this fandom? the level of talent is absolutely wild.

moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich? the first one was probably s3 "not everybody gets to blurt out how they fucking feel every minute!" because i was like, OHHH OH THIS IS GONNA HURT ME & then it just kept getting worse.... @gallawitchxx just said it best BUT! I have a tattoo that says "sorry I'm late" so I guess you could say I'm into that one too.

Ian or Mickey? Ian is my baby, my friend. my familiar. I adore them both and it's hard to choose, but I loved him right away and never quit.

Which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? I'm honestly a lot like Ian. But maybe if I swung Milkovich I'd be Sandy.

#I gabbed a lot in this one #I'd say excuse the length but whatever I'll let it ride!

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Anime Convention (feat. someone real). Part II. Sneak peek

Decided to make a small sneak peek for the next chapter.

Warning: Implied injuries, implied bullying/harassment. Reader have low self-esteem. Reader think that they are too bleak and stupid to have people wanting to be their friends.

A/N: Reader in this fic have some serious problems with self-esteem. It will become better towards the finale, but, for now, Reader's self-esteem are in a bad place.

"Do you like going to the university?" Yosano's question came out of nowhere. You blinked and turned away from staring at the wall to look at Yosano. She finished bandaging your palm and was putting bandage and balm away. You tilted your head.

_______

"Of course, I always wanted to go to the university." you were telling the truth. University means opportunities! University means getting a good job! University means new frie- 

let's not think about that for now...

Yosano shook her head.

"Sorry, I guess, I should have elaborated. Do you like to attend your current university, with your current fellow students?"

You looked down. You didn't want to answer this question. Because your answer will make you feel bad.

"Yes, I am... I am getting a good degree..." you whispered. Yosano's eyes and small smile were warm. You tried not to cry. 

"I know, that degree is not only good. You also like getting it. You are making your dream come true. But, what about other parts of student life? Parties? Clubs?"

You slightly bit your tongue. 

Your university doesn't have clubs or any other means of after class activities. Well, there were few spots teams, but, you were never a sporty type. And you didn't like parties. 

Outside the classes you were by yourself. Always by yourself.

forever by yourself

you could have chosen a different university. maybe, in your hometown? but you ran away.

you were an ungrateful brat, who were running away from responsibility...

Yosano put a hand on your shoulder.

"What I mean, [Y/N], I am... We are worried about you. Other students... A bunch of animals. They dared to harass you. To hurt you..."

She glared at the bloodied shard of glass in the trash can.

Yosano stay silent for a moment. Then spoke, carefully choosing next words.

 "[Y/N]... I won't ask you why you were silent. I won't pry. But, if you want to talk... I can listen to you. We are friends, right?"

 She looked worried about you. She looked kid. Honest. Like she really means, that she is your friend.

 if only you could convince yourself about it

 please... please don't give me hope... please... i... i am too blank... too stupid...

 Your stomach rumbles. You and Yosano blinked, then Yosano's smile returned to her face. 

 "Sorry, you must have been too hungry to have a small talk right now. Let's go to the dining room."

 Yosano took your undamaged hand and pull, making you follow her.

#self-awarebsd #self-awareau

[writerswhy]

hi, previous anon here! i wanted to ask if my question offended you since it's been a while. if it did im sorry, i didn't mean to come off aggressive or anything lol

If you’re the anon who asked me why I believe Hinamori would try to push forward and “over” her anger and hurt towards Aizen and turn it into something along the lines of transformative justice:

Then no, I’m sorry!! Life has really picked up and I find that I don’t have much time to do most of what I enjoy. I’m not going to lie, the more times passes, the more unhappy I am with that post. I feel like I didn’t get my point across, and that’s in part because I’m really self-conscious about my place in any fandom, and if it’s something I enjoy or something I should finally let go. 

But that’s not what you’re asking. Onto Hinamori:

When thinking about her, I get the feeling that she’s someone who’s always wondering:

“am I feeling this right?” 

Because I know she’s often characterized as very, very naive - sheltered even - and I mean, sure, everyone has been naive at least once in their life, but I think it’s more about how earnest and empathetic she is coupled with this sense of justice that drives her. (Interestingly, I think the lieutenant with whom she has the most in common is Hisagi.)

I think her course of action doesn’t necessarily align with the Seireitei’s tools - and as a result her peers, and that’s such a specific brand of loneliness. I always go back to these panels:

They just scream disillusionment to me. Like she knows not all is as it seems.

(I mean, I think Hinamori wanted to join the gotei because she thought maybe it’s a way to continue her story and oh look, it just so happens that it’s now the only way to continue her story; look at how the stars aligned. Until she learned it was all by design.)

I feel like Hinamori is someone whose entire moral code, the principles that guide her, are constantly being invalidated by their very existence.

She’s seen how that very attitude is used to hurt others, and most importantly, her participation in upholding the status quo, are what weighs on her the most. What about her Rukongai ghost friends? What about the students who are going to be fed to the machine? (I know it would break Hinamori’s heart if she ever found out about the guy from the 12th who joined to get closer to her only to get blown up by his own captain.) What about her subordinates? What about her friends? I feel like Hinamori bears a sense of responsibility to all of this and so much more. As a shinigami, she participates in othering ghosts like her friends (like herself at one point), and perpetuates the inequality. As someone who illustrates for the academy (and whose own subordinate is now an instructor at the academy), does she feel like she’s legitimizing their teaching? And Hitsugaya! I think she feels like she is in one way responsible for him joining the academy and how everything that came from it takes more from him than it gives. 

Grappling with what to do with all this, I think, is an important part of her story. The after. What to do with all you know (the memories that haunt you, memories that have been used to hurt you), all you’ll never know (haunted by memories that will never be and could never have been), and proceeding in a responsible way. Maybe Hinamori could learn to distance herself a little more, to stop believing just a bit, but Hinamori also knows what that could do to others (as it has done to Aizen and Hitsugaya), and while it may not look the same for her, I think, she’ll lose more than what she’ll gain. For herself and for a better tomorrow. 

Hinamori is not just a dreamer. She dreams big and works twice as hard. If she wants to follow a captain she believes embodied all that she was looking for outside Seireitei’s framework (because remember, it was emphasized that Aizen treated everyone equally, that his students loved him, and that’s something I feel Hinamori was losing hope in ever seeing within Seireitei’s walls), she is going to train until her hands bleed and study until she passes out.

(Top 👏 of 👏 her class 👏. Ki-👏-do ma-👏-ster.)

I know the translations vary, but I remember Unohana saying something like “Hinamori is waiting for someone to call her”, and maybe Hinamori is someone who needs to believe there are parts worth fighting for…and maybe those parts start with the people. She can grow bitter and follow in the Seireitei’s footsteps, like Aizen; she can rage until she hurts parts of herself more than it’s hurts her enemies, like Hitsugaya; she can bury her head in the sand and ignore the creating of another enemy; or she can trust her ideal and learn to work in and outside the Seireitei for the sake of Soul Society. She’s not a pacifist - she has and will continue to disrupt. That could mean being the one dissenting voice. That could mean planting trees that will grow beyond her time.

(That could mean reflecting off of all you hold close.) 

#Again I was not offended at all! Consider this a prelude to my answer #I promise I’ll put more effort into answering it! And if this answer is disjointed it’s because I’ve been on a train for almost 24 hours #With 8 hours left to go! #bleach #hinamori momo #asks #bleach meta

[cacturne]

“Carmine is not the worst” and “kieran is not the worst” are statements that can and should co-exist

#Its always either “carmine did nothing wrong kieran is a stupid unhinged brat!” Or “kieran did nothing wrong carmine is literally abusive!!” #No. Theyre not. Neither of them are. Theyre just nd/mentally ill and cope with it badly #Its really not that hard come on #Also as an older sister with a younger brother a lot of the mean dialogue is pretty typical #Obviously that doesnt negate the fact that for kieran it hit him in his issues but he never spoke up about it and kept it to himself #And carmine is pretty dense and a bit in her own head so it makes sense that she wouldnt notice without being directly told #And with her specifically its made clear in dialogue throughout that she does care about her brother #She thinks about how in her mind things might affect him and chooses what she thinks is the option that wont hurt him. Though obviously #shes not the best judge there. But thats understandable she isnt very good at reading people #And kieran just doesnt know how to cope with his problems. When stuff gets too much he bursts and lashes out. A normal thing for a teenager #Obviously this now frightens carmine and she starts backing down distancing herself and generally just closes up around him #Because while she is abrasive she doesnt really *realize* she is. And its easy to see kierans abrasiveness as something inherently hostile #(Because even if he doesnt really mean it it still is aggressive) #Hey wait a second why am i infodumping about kieran and carmine pokemon in my tags #This is like the worst way to do it. Sorry cutting it short ty for reading if you did #ghosts howling

[tariah23]

It’s just the fact that Gege isn’t usually THIS straightforward and hasn’t been for a long time….. Whenever he does one thing, that thing usually tends to turn out to be even more ridiculous then what it first appeared to be in the first place, ja what I’m saying. Like every time. Please…..

#that’s 100% Gojo but it could be worse…. it could be kenjaku…. even though he should be dead and his body wasn’t even near Gojo’s when he #was killed #but… Sukuna swallowed kenjaku’s will… what if it somehow released from his body or some shit #I don’t know man… this seems to good to be true and kenjaku’s plans were always overly convoluted #for no reason and you could never tell if he was ever being honest even with Sukuna so meh #rambling #I’ve been thinking about stitched gojo ever since he died but what if this is true I’ll be so annoyed ajajajaj #I really like the concept but I don’t want Gojo if he came back wrong… it’ll hurt me sm 😭 #I DON’T WANT GOJO BACK IF HE’S COMING BACK WRONG IT’S TOO LATE TO GET OUR HOPES UP LIKE THIS #PLAYING IN OUR FACES LIKE A BILLIONAIRE WAVING A WAD OF CASH IN THE FACES OF THE POOR #gege… I don’t trust him… also #if Gojo really is back fr fr then gege can’t kill him off anymore either that’ll be even worse than bringing him back actually and just… #like what’ll be the point??? #and yuuji is the mc now so he should be the one to finish Sukuna off right??? this feels so wrong even though I am sitting in Gojo’s lap #and playing with his mask rn- #he’s MY butterfly behind glass… #MINESSSSS #sorry for talking about jjk 🧍🏾‍♀️ #sorry…

[moe-broey]

I need like. A Don't Make Me Tap The Sign about Alfonse Fire Emblem specifically about his character and how he's perceived sometimes. Like Book 7 Chapter 12 he's just like that. He's always been like that.

I feel like I've def said it more eloquently before probably in Book 5 (regarding Reginn and Fáfnir), where like. He Will try for and favor a peaceful solution, but if it's clear there's no way out without violence and killing the threat/adversary. He won't hesitate. He won't falter. Crit line literally references this actually, "Above all, the mission".

Like I feel like the difference between Alfonse just doing Alfonse things (most recent chapter Seidr having to kill Kvasir, no way out of it -- plus also even considering killing Seidr herself, if that were to end Gullveig) and the Letizia moment was like. The Letizia moment was a BOLD gambit he played, which is WHY it was so shocking in the story and as an audience member, and why I think it left such a deep impression. Still very in character for him and the way he thinks/problem solves on the fly, carefully evaluating the situation and what would be the best move with the highest rate of success. (THAT LAST BIT ACTUALLY........ he'll do this even with low rates of success, out of sheer stubbornness as well. Which is why I still stand by him being rash at times, a LOT of his rashness is disguised as "calculated risks" and he just has the willpower to pull it off. The worst-best type of guy to me LMFAO)

Going back a bit though, the Letizia moment also stands out as an example of how far Alfonse is willing to go to win, especially if his back is pushed against the wall. It gives you a FASCINATING glimpse into his character and into his mind. A lot of times Lif would be an enigma to me, beyond the basics, character wise. Like yeah I guess that would fuck up a guy. But his methods (working and making contracts with gods when especially as Alfonse he knows better than that??) would be inscrutable to me. But everything absolutely finally clicked when Alfonse made that gambit, playing to Letizia's personality and whatever preconceived notions she may have, that maybe Alfonse could find a weak spot in and take advantage of. Lif is doing the exact same thing. His judgement is maybe a little worse for wear on account of, well *gestures vaguely to all of him* but he's still very much doing The Same Thing.

LIKE. I'm def straying from my point which is. Alfonse isn't shy about having to resort to violence. It Is a resort. But if it has to be done, it will be done. Any damage control (such as Sharena's feelings -- she has CLEARLY been extremely upset these past chapters) can be resolved later. (This.... is also fascinating to me..... bc it's always been clear to me his loved ones are the people who ground him, who stop him from losing himself, from becoming cruel in his practicality and tendency for detachment. There Is his morality as well -- but his loved ones are a huge part in what keeps him kind.)

I guess what I'm really trying to say is. Hit me up next time Alfonse is playing 4D chess with the enemy or throwing himself in a ditch on purpose just to indulge his baby sister's current pet project. THOSE feel like standout examples of Alfonse Off The Shits (but still completely in character for him tbh), while like. The rest is just par for the course for him. Just another (especially traumatizing) Tuesday.

#i'm. vaguing and i am so sorry for commiting the sin of vaguing. #but i do want to make it clear i'm not actually mad or judgy that would be silly #but like that aspect of alfonse specifically is what draws me in so completely... #it's a fascinating study and also. feels like one extreme opposite to my own. #and it's actually really nice to have it be an extreme bc it's easy to pick out what tracks where it frays #and where it crosses a line and becomes hurtful and/or harmful for the parties involved (including the self) #like... i absolutely use both alfonse and sharena as autistic proxys. to help me conceptualize/recontextualize/process info. #things that don't come naturally to me or things that feel beyond me and out of my grasp. #which is to say alfonse's practicality is actually something that is sooooo personal to me LMFAOOO #which is why. i've got to tap the sign. he has ALWAYS been like this it is a HUGE CORE PART OF HIM‼️‼️‼️‼️ #his greatest strength his biggest flaw. ect. the reason why i'm constantly chewing on his arm. #WHATEVER..... #fe alfonse #again i do want to emphasize i'm not mad or judgy LMFAOO i'm just devastatingly autistic about him. #if anything the autism was just. aggro'd. you know how it is.

[paperlovesadness]

Me seeing all the comments under Glasto-themed posts blaming Alex for being sick and calling off Dublin

I'm barely able to fold that knife though.... And I'm not trusting myself that it'll stay folded.

#I really have no words for people who lack the basic minimum amounts of sympathy and understanding #and YES IT'S POSSIBLE HIS SYMPTOMS CLEARED UP IN JUST 4 DAYS #am I worried they didn't completely? yes. but they might have. and either way they're Definitely A LOT better after him resting #taking care of himself. possibly getting some meds prescribed. hydrating. not talking. sleeping #What did they want him to do. go out and mime the songs for them? #go up and barely utter some words through the hoarseness - make things worse and call of yhe next month if shows instead? #risk getting actual chronic laryngitis? risk his whole career? #the hell is wrong with people #you've got no idea how scared I was & am for my show that's coming up too. It's like extremely meaningful and important to me #the vision of going helped me through some tougher times #but you know what I'm also scared of? #of one of my favorite artist's getting seriously hurt. #of him beating himself up for disappointing people when there's nothing he can do about it. #can't believe people lack the basic empathy. #i get being disappointed. Sad. Furious even. #be furious with a god if you've got one or the universe or bacteria or the very idea of voice boxes being suspectable to strain #not with the man who's just as frustrated with the situation as you are #AHHHH #(i unfolded the knife safely in the tags. folding it back up) #(I see the typos & I hate em & I'm mad but I won't be doing anything about it. I'm sorry) #// #my posts

[nonuggetshere]

GOD I HAD AN IDEA AS I WAS FALLING ASLEEP TODAY

About FaaF naturally

A sad one, TW fir near child death and harm

Involves Xero's attempt at an assassination, or it could be literally just any guard controlled by the Radiance

PK and WL need to talk about something private, and WL looks at the tiny vessel tagging along by her wyrm's side

"Should it be here?"

"It wouldn't understand anything anyway."

"Still, it's...a little..."

He sighs lightly, "Yeah, I get where you're coming from... Vessel, come here."

He kneels down and orders them to sit by the door and wait for them while they talk, says he'll come pick them up once they're done and not to move, then the two go to talk on the balcony and close the door behind them

At some point, Xero/the guard bursts in and attacks PK in the middle of the conversation, managing to take them by surprise and so gets one good swing in before PK darts away and retaliates, pinning them down with soul blades, though he has to keep his wife from killing them on the spot - he doesn't want to be so hasty, knowing they're infected and not themself. He pulls out the sword from his chest and that's when they realise, it's covered in void...

Child harm/near death TW beyond this point

After a moment of shock White Lady, who's closest to the doors, runs out and all her husband can hear is a horrified, heartbroken scream. He feels nauseous, his stomach twisting into knots and feeling like his heart is in his throat as he runs out after her. He sees her in tears, cradling a tiny bundle soaked in void. There's- there's so much void. It covers the floor where he left their child vessel and soaks through his lady's shawl and clothes as she cradles them in her arms.

For a moment he's paralysed, before he just snaps. He flies back onto the balcony, screaming at the possessed guard that he'll kill her, he'll make her pay for this, and he slays them in his rage (something he'll regret and feel ashamed of later), still hitting and screaming at Her well after the possessed person is dead and she can't hear him anymore.

He collapses, panting, near tears, and just gets himself up and stumbles out the door and towards the two, he wants to see how bad it is for himself.

Flower survives, but just barely. They had multiple stab wounds and lost their left arm, if not for their parents immediately healing them they'd be dead. They're barely older than 5, still so very little and defenceless, PK is horrified at how could anyone hurt a baby this young and helpless (hypocrite), even if they're not alive.

They're still on bed rest because that was so much damage and their mother doesn't leave their side and their father only leaves when necessary. They still don't realise Flower's alive and they know they shouldn't be so attached but it still feels like their baby and they can't just leave them. WL spends the entire day by their side, gently stroking their hair and horns with her now permanently void stained hands and softly coos and sings to them

Of course, they quickly realise they ARE alive because no way in hell a toddler is getting this hurt and NOT crying and screaming the second they wake up <3

Which just makes this situation so much worse

#thylacines can talk #faaf au #mentions of child harm and near death in tags too btw #so dont read further if its something youre sensitive to or cant handle rn #i like to write him as more sympathetic in faaf but i cant state enough what a gigantic hypocrite he is #pk: How can you hurt a child?! they're FIVE! #child harm cw #radi: ...dude. #dont make your kid a child soldier but also you cant 'all fair's in war' your way out of stabbing a toddler radi #unrelated tangent but they both suck and god i need to focus some more on FaaF Radi. Ik this AU at times feels like sympathetic PK and evil #villain Radi AU but it's really not. They're both morally grey and while Radi is a bit more. questionable and less sympathetic imo. doesnt #mean shes completely evil. they're both meant to be morally grey and both did equally horrible irredeemable shit that they come to regret #and wish to fix. ik it doesnt come off this way at times because i have my things i prefer to write at times and this AU was always a #relationship dynamic exploration between Flower and all different characters. but neither PK nor WL are by no means forgiven. Most of their #kids range from ''i literally dont care about you you are not my parents dont contact me again'' to ''i hate your guts'' #with sometimes an added flavour of ''And I WILL murder your ass if I see you again'' for some of them #(Razor my beutiful wife with unchecked anger issues <3) #sorry if the tags are incomprehensible it is 5 am and i instantly forget anything i write the second i cant read it fully #once i finish writing a tag and it collapses the contents of it instantly leave my short term memory. im not being dramatic btw the amount #of times i have to back out from editing tags to read them back bc i forgot what i wrote is annoying

[prentissluvr]

tw long rant and swearing!

hey!! if you don't like something i wrote! shut the fuck up and move on!! thanks bye!! no hate is tolerated on this blog :)))

i don't care if you don't like the way i characterized someone in my story!! shut up and get a better hobby than hating on something someone has spent hours creating and pouring love into and accusing them of hating one of their favorite characters because you think that the fic they wrote FOR FUN and NOT FOR YOU is bad characterization/makes the character flawed in a way that you don't like because you have a poor understanding of what makes fanfiction fanfiction (and also humans human tbh lol). sure, they're maybe more flawed than in the actual show, but THATS THE FUCKING POINT OF FANFICTION!!! IS THAT ITS NOT A REAL PART OF THE SHOW!!! AND ITS WRITTEN!!! FOR FUNNNNN!!!!! AND NOT FUCKING FOR YOU AND YOUR FUCK ASS OPINIONS SPECIFICALLY!!!!!!!! and if you think it sucks, i don't care!! you are entitled to your opinion!!!! hate it so so so much but get the fuck over yourself if you think that telling me it's horrible and unrealistic and somehow creating a bad wrap FOR MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS SHOW is somehow a meaningful usage of your time or gonna get me to delete the fic or stop liking it or stop promoting my own hard work !!!! i'm proud of the things i write and nothing will ever change that. i hope you know what a shitty shitty shitty (and embarrassing) thing it is to do to leave a whole paragraph of hate under someone's hard work just because they interpret a fictional fucking character in a way that you don't like. genuinely genuinely get the fuck over yourself and find a better way to spend your time than caring more about fictional characters than real life people.

#and yeah! honestly i'm upset right now #i do care because its my fic my baby my hard work #and its really hurtful to have someone tell me its stupid unrealistic and somehow a harmful representation of one of my fav characters ever #but also i don't care if people don't like what i write or how i interpret/represent a character!!! #having different opinions and stances on things is so valid and okay #but for you to spell it all out in such a judgmental condescending and hateful way in a reblog of my fic is such a hurtful thing to do #and its very upsetting to see #but it does show very clearly to me that you have no understanding of how to act appropriately or what it takes to write #or how to act maturely and kindly when you come across something of genuinely so little consequence that you don't agree with #that's one of the craziest things about that #is that fanfiction is like meaningless LMAO #and for you to read a fucking fanfiction that you don't like???? #and then take the time to explain to the well meaning and hard working author who is just writing for fun and to find friends #why you hate it so much is actually ridiculous #and i am so willing to bet you have zero friends on this website!! #thats kinda mean! but there's so many hateful opinions on your blog that clearly showcase how limited your critical thinking skills are <33 #also i'm speaking into the void the person who did this got blocked the second i read what they said LOL #but yeah! i'm not cool with people saying such hateful stuff to me so don't try it again <33 #next time i might not be so kind as to keep someone anonymous if this happens again #but at least i'm choosing to be 1000 times more mature than you by not engaging directly and without exposing your sorry ass #. >> ria says shit !

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

its so important to me that william is a jealous petty little bitch. its so important to me that hes an absolute shithead about it. you go girl be so toxic<3

#im allowed to say this because i was like this #literally “youre the most jealous man i know” “YOU KNOW OTHER MEN???” #no but fr. i like that hes shitty and jealous and petty and mean about it. i really really like that #william wisp is like if danny phantom was me in middle school and i will stand by this fact until i am proven wrong or i die #whichever comes first #i cant put it into words much but. representation for the jealousy bitches without completely villifying them immediately <3 #is it cool to do? no. is it mean? yeah absolutely. does it hurt other people? sometimes!!! #but also sometimes youre a teenager whos been hurt by the world in more ways than you can count #and the one person whos had your back through a lot of it is now #spending all their attention on other people and treating you like youre invisible (<< a particularly harsh jab for this specific case) #you thought what you had was special but it was never really *dating* was it? #so technically theyre not doing anything wrong but that doesnt make the knife in your heart hurt any less !!!!!!!! #sorry im having ghostknife emotions tonihht i just finished episode 5 its so important to me that william is petty and shitty and jealous #reaction time #i BETTER see some fics out there with this. #you people are not allowed to sand him down to be the sad quiet emo softboy. #which he is but like hes more complex than that. let him be shitty and mean.

[pepprs]

misery despair suffering etc etc

#purrs #delete later #two thoughts about separate things both causing the despair. thought / thing number 1 which i think ive talked abt on here many times before #but im saying it again: i am not good at being a friend in the ways my friends need me to be a friend. and in the ways friendship is thought #of societally i guess. i isolate myself constantly. i pull away from the opportunity to get closer with people i don’t know as well. i don’t #text back and then when im finally ready it’s been so egregiously long since it was appropriate for me to respond or reciprocate or #whatever it is i am so crushed by guilt and shame and embarrassment that i can’t bring myself to do it. i have so many unread messages and i #wont even let myself open them. and ive been like this for years. and i hurt someone very badly many years ago by being that way. and it was #more complicated than that but sometimes i remember it and how i acted and how i treated them. and i wonder sometimes if they check up on me #and i don’t want to be immature or weird or whatever for talking about it or wondering that openly. but if you do read this and you know who #you are: i am so sorry. i meant whst i said that i would never stop wishing you well and hoping the very best for you. and i hope you have #all of that and more. and im so sorry for not being brave enough to communicate with you or stick around. i really really am. and im sorry #to all the other people i have hurt by pulling away and shutting down and shrinking inside myself and not talking. ik it’s weird to post #that instead of just telling people directly but it’s the guilt. i am fully aware of how many people / groups of people i owe things to / #for but also just… miss. a lot. and want to talk to even though i won’t let myself. i don’t know why im like this and i don’t know how to #stop. but im sorry im not a good friend or even acquaintance or community member. and im talking to everyone now i guess including anyone #reading this bc god knows how many asks and messages i have on here. im sorry. i want to be a better friend. but i also never have spoons. a #and i also want to stay spoonless and cocooned on myself forever and never come out. and i hate that. i want to be a friend. i want to be #kind and giving and loving and generous in the ways you all have been with me. i want to hang out with people and send messages and be there #to lift people up and celebrate with them. but all i can muster is tapping like on social media and it’s horrific. i have gifts to make and #hello / checking in messages to reply to and roleplay starters to post and i just can’t do it right now and im scared i’ll never be able to #again. but it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. if i say i can’t do it then iwont. it’s not enougu to just be aware of it i have to act on it #and change it. but im exhausted and hurting right now and i have been for years and i need to heal first but what if this is healing. #idk. i rambled on that for much longer than i thought i would so nowim gonna say the second thing in a separate post. and it’ll be weird to #post about that in light of this and it’ll be weird to post this at all. but its been weighing on me so heavily today and i don’t want #anyone to think im ignoring them or not aware of being like this or whatever. and posting into the void is easier than telling individual #people to your faces even though i know it’s cowardly. im really truly sorry. i will try to get better once i have the strength to try. #actually yeah no not gonna say the second thing yet. it would be weird to say it now. this needs to sit a little first