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#also this isnt to say you cant discourse on this if u would like
blamemma · 7 months
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i do think, the best thing i have done for peace of mind, is to let certain comments wash over me. driver and team will have certain perception of events and comments, whilst other fans will perceive it differently. in my eyes, he's a privileged twat who doesn't know to keep quiet and has been spoon fed and coddled by his tp and alike...he couldn't do it that day, nor the week after, but someone else did. for me, there was a time to move on and let go, i will always dislike him, but i also dont think we need to discourse every thing he says in relation to that time....i think at this point we can be the bigger person and know we've moved on to brighter better things
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shoezuki · 6 months
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ok it seems dream has slowed down or went to cry himself to sleep or something idk but now im gonna try n chronicle this shit as unbiasedly as i can. but whoooooa baby
anyways. it started when Nicolas Cantu (yes yes junkyjanker gumball voice actor) was replying to the dream parody account, dreamwastalen.
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(also yes he knew it was a parody acct dude said he was roleplaying lmao)
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Dream qrted the 'you can't joke when u an actual pedophile' tweet essentially saying that cantu is a horrible person, accusing him of assaulting dream, treating an uber driver horribly, and that he was saying the r word and being racist. Also says cantu apologized to dream on twitter by blaming it on alcohol and weed.
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nicolas qrts, saying 'yes i slapboxed you in front of the hoes', confirming he mistreated an uber driver and said he tipped the driver well after and has been handling his drinking, says he called dream 'fat and a predator'. Nicolas denies being racist. He ends it with "hire a harvard professor to calculate why despite texting every twitch streamer in austin not a single one wanted to fuck you."
also in a qrt to a now private account that basically said 'dream reaching out to streamers doesnt mean he wanted to fuck them' nicolas said dream was sending streamers dick pics.
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dream replies saying that nicolas didnt even tip and with screenshots of the dms nicolas had sent him apologizing. The dm is a massive text of paragraph . In an attempt to summarize it is essentially cantu apologizing for hitting dream n that he was out of line, mentioning he was drinking and high, that he thought dream would be an asshole but says he is 'humble, grounded and decent', that he relates to the pressure/discourse around having to deal w fame and havin a lot of influence at a young age, and also that he doesnt know who is and isnt lying w the allegations but he knows having lies n rumours spread bout u sucks.
worth noting im not sure when this message took place so I cant say if its extremely recent, but later dream i believe mentions it having to do with the latest twitchcon. idk [edit: looking ahead robbo mentioned this happened months ago]
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Another contender, robbo, comes in saying he was there and that dream was slapped for calling a girl they are friends with a whore. They technically recant this accusation, saying they mixed the cantu slap up with another event that took place at twitchcon, but they continue to claim dream did this.
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dream qrts this saying robbo 'wasnt even in the same state' at the time, that he doesnt know who robbo is, that he doesnt go around harassing women and accuses robbo of upholding the benevolent sexism trope of women being weak and needing to be protected by men.
Nicolas cantu makes a reappearance and screenshots dreams reply and tweeting it, then qrting his own tweet with a video of classical music and showing a text allegedly from dream (the name 'clay' at the top of the screenshot) saying 'tsk tsk whore' to someone. The video also has a clip from when dream was in mcc with captainsparklez and said 'we should lynch them' in reference to i think ppl allegedly cheating?.
thats the most of it so far. although robbo and dream continued to argue and at one point dream said he was going to sue them for slander/defamation and robbo qrted with 'sue me.' theres more to that bit but im not puttin screenshots this shit is already too long
anyways. my final opinion: i literally odnt know like half what happening here or if nicolas cantu really was racist or if that screenshot was 'real' and cantu said he wouldnt reveal who the friend dream called a whore is cuz he dont want to pull her into this. so im like what. but dream gettin clapped by nicolas is fucking hilarious and dream pullin the suing thing again is wild. i seen ppl in qrts saying how he already said he was gonna sue amanda and didnt, sayin he instantly pulled the dms w cantu but wont show the evidence showin amanda lied, etc. and those r a lot of what i think a this like. i feel he got angry and exploded again when eh coulda let it die out. but that always happens
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shimenawas · 2 years
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okay im v upset rn and don't feel like dealing with shit so im going to make this quick
cw: discourse, impersonations, and plagiarism.
currently tagging mutuals to rb this (its okay if not!!!) but i just really want to get some reach since tumblr isnt letting me appear in tags (also sorry for incorrectly tagging) but i really wanted to get this out there as it should be common sense to NOT do this.
@howlantic @happycupcakesss @wolfhookk @lovelieajax @luvbaal /@twistedlotus @coco-goat-milk @dawndelion-winery @astrxealis @noxtivagus @ballarinas @4ganyus @sinhasfluffyheadfur @cxlrosii @nxwxie @telemi @shuangxo @heizoussidebadonkers @ay4kshalatus @kazucafe @xienn @tiredsleep @lilikags @jiang-is-my-lastname @sweetxochaco @rqkuya
it has come to my attention that someone has been stealing my works and impersonating me. their @ is @kazuhalvrz,
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i am and was the owner of the @inactivegenshinblog, i have moved to @kokomity for a fresh start and had since then been using this kujuo blog.
proof? i made this post months ago in my kokomity blog before i shortly moved onto here also i would never use that horrible font because 🤢🤢 (atleast get my personality right 🤣🤣🙏🙏)
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this user @kazuhalvrz stole my works and my identity, this is just straight up not even right??? YOU are not ME so stop pretending to be me and getting all the credit for MY hardwork
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@kazuhalvrz if ur going to steal someones identity make sure u do ur shit right and not be exposed by the original <33 yk what they say you cant outdo the doer 😍😍😍😍
anyway im upset with the whole thing but DO NOT HARRASS THIS PERSON , this does not make the situation any better. simply block if you dont want to interact with them. NO THREATS ARE NEEDED.
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slowjamastan · 1 year
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My favorite color is green. I play violin, though not very well. I love dogs, and volunteer at an animal shelter. I'm into sci fi and my favorite author is Ursula K. LeGuin.  I also like Batman comics.
And I also happen to be a FTM transgender man.  What you folks would call a TIF.
Ever since I was 10, before i even knew why, I hated my body. For years of my life, I had daydreams of taking a kitchen knife to my chest and cutting off the breasts. I tried to kill myself twice.
That changed 3 years ago.  I realized I was trans and bought myself a binder.
When it's on, I feel relief. I dont think of the kitchen knife. I'm not too depressed to get out of bed.
But after 8 hours, I have to take it off.
I plan on getting top surgery so this relief can stay.
I should note- this isn't about sexism or anything of the sort. Both my parents were outspoken feminists, and I've been fortunate enough to always live in progressive areas.
This is about people. And if transitioning can keep people like me from killing themselves? I'm all for it.
you seem to be engaging in good faith, so im gonna take you serious and not just be a dick. but man, this is my blog where i have fun and post memes. i hate doing this and am annoyed u sent this at all. theres so many radfem blogs that love discourse and im sooo lukewarm, im radfem-adjacent at best. im a fandom blogger at heart bro. who tf are you lol
first of all i do not care about your life story. youre like "please please see me as a person, we kweer transes are real people, i hope you can understand that even though youre a horrible evil t*rf. im reaching out to u because i believe theres still good in ur heart uwu" you people r annoyinggg
its not like i lack empathy, i was dysphoric and suicidal for a whole decade of my life and mostly surrounded myself with people who felt the same. what changed for me is realizing that my internal feelings about the gender-flavor of my soul didnt mean a goddamn thing and werent worth dwelling on. im a person and my body is female. at first i still wanted to change myself. i switched to id-ing as transmed, i was ready to acknowledge that i was born a girl at least but i knew so strongly that i wanted to pass as male and that it would make me more comfortable in my body. i was completely sure i was a man.
now ofc body dysmorphia is different for everyone but i really think no matter how fucked up your brain gets about how you naturally look, changing your body with medical intervention isnt the best answer. theres so many side effects and complications with each transition step. taking T in a female body can really fuck you up medically. keep yourself informed about what youre doing and think about if theres less expensive and drastic ways to go about fixing what makes you uncomfortable about the way you're perceived. and not to be insensitive, but if you have a history of s*xual assault, that can also be a very real reason for disconnect from your secondary sexual characteristics and ive met enough people that struggle with that sort of ptsd that manifests as wanting to trans their gender that i would rly think about where the desire to become male comes from. it could be a lot of things, and it can feel so real and valid dont get me wrong—but could fade away with time and/or therapy, leaving you reverse-dysphoric about your changed body
committing to being a transsexual while young is a tricky thing. i trust youve already thought it through but goddamn i promise you everything in life changes so much all the time. maybe this wont for you! but it might!!! it did for me and thats terrifying!!!!! identifying as trans is very much the current "its not a phase mom!" thing that teenagers do and you cant convince me otherwise btw. this isnt to say genuine trans people arent real and dont exist. and medically transitioned people definitely do, bc its exploded in popularity. but most of yall are a joke to anyone with a brain sorry lol most people are humoring you guys but would never admit it. this is a fate i wouldnt wish on anyone. being trans is cringe. or it will be soon, trust me
tldr i desisted from being trans myself after a full decade of self-id, various pronouns, etc. so i know where youre coming from. then when i started anxiety medication it helped boost me out of that spiral, which if u havent gotten medicated for other underlying issues i suggest you look into before jumping into hormones/surgery. ive heard that ocd can make u obsess about breasts and want them gone and stuff like that. body dysmorphia in any flavor is a bitch! im wishing you the best anon
also, read some self help literature instead of just fiction. i recommend 7 habits of highly effective people by steven covey. i read this for college and it fr made me a more functional person when i was still FtM and deeply depressed
edit: for the record im not gender conforming to femininity now. i see that misconception a lot, and forget that most ppl dont know what radfem types actually believe. i dress however i want, i just am not delusional about how i want people to address me. im just a lesbian 🫶
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magnoliamyrrh · 6 months
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its also one of those things that makes me sadder for the way humanity has been and is. i know it might sound childish or oversimplified like yea obvs there's more to The Horrors than this, but humans wanting to think were all soooo separate and sooo different and weve got nothing to do w each other is part of so much justification for ethnic and national and tribal conflict since forever. its a way for us to dehumanize each other so that we wont feel empathy and sympathy and care anymore and be willing to do horrible shit to each other.... and the things we do have in common - even if we have them in common from complicated histories, we turn against each other. ie fuck u turk the greeks invented baklava not u fuck u greek the turks invented bakalava fuck u actually it was afghanistan actually fuck u it was iran and you're all doing it wrong anyway >:( ie. ancient cultural appropriation discourse lmao. and its such a pity :( like man. cant we rather look at the things we have in common and let them bring us together and try to appreciate the differences? cant we please learn from each other? cant we please act like this is a cooking meeting where everyone brings from their own knowledge and we put it all together and see what we can do? cant we all admit how fucked and complicated history is, how almost noone has clean hands? but cant we try to wash each others hands maybe, wash them together and cook something nice?.... like :( common now. all the endless tribalism since damn near forever, but the vast majority of the world is mixed if u go back far enough (or not even that far) with the exception of some more isolated ppl, which are still mixed at some point and came from somewhere. the world has never been as divided as segmented as ppl wanna say it is
like bro. isnt it cool how you can see motifs on folk clothes and tools spread across vast areas of the world which clearly have the same origin? isnt it cool that after groups separate, thousands of years later you can still tell theres dances, songs, cultural personalities, bits of religion which clearly originated in the same place? isnt it beautiful how i swear to god, you can still see the way pre-migration african traditions have somehow remained, though changed? how the languages we speak so often trace back to common ancient roots? how really, every language we all speak originates wayy back from what was likely a small number of languages before we started spreading, aint that crazy? how every last one of our cultures is interconnected at some point?. like common, we all came from the same place. like we all came from the same people once upon a time, and there werent that many of us. i dont care if it was a long time ago, in a historical context it actually wasnt that long ago, and u can still see it if u look close enough, and even if we say humans dont have ancestral memory, which i personally think we do like all animals, at least symbolically, it matters. there was a time when there were less divisors between us on this earth.... and i rly do think the quran says it beautifully, we created you from a single pair of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other. take it metaphorically or literally or a combination, but we did all come from the same ppl and now we are many, and how nice it would be if we saw the beauty in that instead of... what we actually do
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strawberrybabydog · 2 years
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thank you for talking about the transabled thing bc we have BIID & are chronically & mentally ill and physically cannot think about the way some Tumblr Kids ruined a good term for a harmless experience for too long without getting really upset. I didnt ask for Any of this and the idea that someone wants to hallucinate or whatever is mind-boggling. imo it just sounds like kids being kids and doing shit for attention that they'll regret once they're older. but idk there are some wild people out there
to an extent i appreciate kids being kids. i was once an attention seeking 12 year old, and while i do regret it (obviously, although i didnt do anything as aggregious as THIS) i also understand that i was doing it as a cry for help. my behavior wasnt entirely my own fault, and if literally a single adult in my life had done an ounce of critical thinking, i would have gotten the support i needed & wouldnt have felt like i had to cry for help. i agree with you but i dont really like dismissing attention seeking behavior from kids, cuz kids dont do shit For No Reason & that mindset is what made me be like that in the first place & prevented me from getting support i desperately needed /lh /not scolding u. yes kids are dumb and annoying but theyre also Very vulnerable and they still should get the support they need, yknow? not saying ur not saying this, im just kinda rambling
... but like i said, what i was doing wasnt as aggregious as this. whatever i did only caused internal harm and affected nobody other than myself. the older i get, the more ive watched Internet Kids become more harmful to themselves and, especially others. its fun to argue when youre a stupid rebellious 12 year old but, when i was a kid there wasnt "discourse." it was arguing with conservative christians about gay marriage (like, very black and white issues, because 12 year olds cant understand nuance)... infighting didnt really exist back then... nothing similar to this existed back then
idk. there is no solution. the power lies in the hands of parents who clearly dont care. best we can do as tumblr.hell citizens is to just ignore it until it goes away. even i feel bad for talking about it because i am also now bringing attention to it
it is also mind boggling to me that someone who isnt like me at all, sees me & my struggles, and wants them. slush is very cool, but positive interactions with my hoarde only make up about 20% of living with DCS. the rest is being re-traumatized on a daily basis (which, yeah is actually sometimes by my hoarde too)... i fear i romanticize living with schizophrenia because i often talk positively about my experiences, but i have never spoken to a single person about my trauma related to it because i literally cant. i choke up completely. its just too painful for me. its unfathomable to broadcast that to thousands if not even my partner knows
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emofrog69 · 2 years
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if i see one more post on twitter about lesbians can like men or lesbians dont even need to like women im gonna explode
#if theyre talking about ace lesbians im assuming and correct me if im wrong that that id refers to homoromantic asexual or aromantic#lesbian as in attracted to women but either only romantically or only sexually but EITHER WAY still like women…#if you DONT like women at all how are you a lesbian lol#im guessing theyre talking about political lesbians but ?????? are yall fr#and then when they talk about lesbians liking men theyre like ‘but comp het!’ and im like. but comphet isnt GENUINE attraction to men…#and then they said lesbians could be bi women in the closet and then i was like Ok so theyre not lesbians? theyre bi? you just said that…#and THEN they said but lesbians can be sex workers who have clients that are men to which i said since when to SWs need to be attracted to#all of their clients ????#like this discourse hurts both lesbians and bisexual ppl#neither are a bad fucking word jesus#terfs better not touch#and then they accuse ppl like me of being either a terf (nobody knows what that means i swear) or exclusive and its like.#its not ‘GATEKEEPING’ to say either u fit the definition or u dont lol#like i would never stop someone from saying they feel a certain way or whatever like we all have shit to figure out#but its just like. WHY cant u analyze why ur afraid to call urself bi#also im sick of libs hearing us say ‘lesbians dont like men’ and assuming that ‘men’ means trans women#like YES i know thats what terfs say but WHY is it that when YOU hear the word ‘men’…YOU hear ‘trans women’#bc when i say men i mean men i mean cis and trans men#mine
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rabbityshen · 3 years
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a post got me thinking abt this (and i didnt wanna add to the notes plus it is a bit on the mean side) on the one hand, i think some ppl can be kind of mean abt "tropes" as a lens of talking abt fiction. ppl having fun is fine. i have fun. it can feel like "ugh you're not taking fiction seriously" vibes, which i think is good to keep in check as that sentiment can poison the well and put ppl on defense which i dont think is conducive. i also think it can be condescending to presume "you only talk abt x in y way which means you're incapable of discussing x (or anything else) in z way."
on the other hand, i do find tropes, and in this case i mean the more modern rendition of "ao3 tags" as i saw someone phrase it as, just personally v confusing and limiting. i understand what tropes are but they're vague in the same way genre is, but unlike genre, are looser and more emotionally tilted in a way that can limit discussion. i mean, i do find it useful sometimes, like i do have trope preferences certainly and i think that's fun to talk abt in a "what do i get out of this" way in a general sense. but besides the obvious problem of not all fiction necessarily having or fitting these tropes (esp since they're predominantly romance oriented), or suiting even the common tone of such discussion, i just dont find tropes particularly illuminating when discussion often boils down to "i love this/i hate this" in emotionally hyperbolic ways. it also just doesnt fit discussion of stories that arent invested in pleasant or fun emotional catharsis, let alone stories that aren't linear or are more experimental in structure. (and also like, if u get why applying tvtropes, which at least isnt romance-centric, onto all fiction can be kinda cringey and just v limiting, then it also applies here.)
even when it comes to my preferences, it can rly vary depending on the execution of the story itself, whether im reading amateur fanfic or pro published original fiction, or anything else. for example, i would say i like enemies to lovers, but this doesnt mean im inclined to like every rendition of it (i disliked rey and kylo's arc, i liked catra and adora's arc). even when im casually reading fanfic, im not gonna read every enemies to lovers ship. i am moderately picky and very lazy!
and at least enemies to lovers describes a relationship arc that can encompass an entire narrative. "sharing a bed" is a scene prompt? it's fine but means nothing to me. if a story sucks to me then no i wont like it, if a story is good to me then yeah i'll like it. i cant rly say if i "like" that trope in isolation bc i've seen shitty versions, fun versions, boring versions, etc.
and then top of this, sometimes ppl have v specific ideas of what tropes mean. back to enemies to lovers, i've seen ppl use it to refer to intense mutual antagonism that ties into the entire plot or just moderate stakes act 1 romcom personality clash/bickering that eases into real friendship by act 2. i can sure propose my own definition but it does seem like it's more charged to whatever someone's own personal preferences are than any kind of meaningful analysis or categorization.
i guess what im getting at is "tropes" seem to invoke the idea of specificity w/o really engaging w/ it or w/ clarity. i think obv if you are talking abt trends or patterns across fiction, you will generalize. but there are usually reference point bc the analysis comes out of the engagement w/ fiction first. often tropes are invoked in a way where there is no reference point, or it's imagined (or assumed) to an unhelpful degree, and then is applied as it's concrete and objective bc the trope itself exists within a vacuum.
ultimately tho this mode of discourse is mostly harmless if somewhat annoying. i have no idea if this is true to "real life" or whatever that means lol
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gringolet · 3 years
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that italian?
okay okay okay i think it happened long enough ago that i can dish about the drama. she changed her url and im not including it anyway so its fine.
prepare for a fuckin. essay in responss to a TWO WORD ask but anyay
so once upon time there was an italian who hated children and loved reylo. she also hung out in the arthuriana tag and got a bunch of asks about it. so one day some poor anon comes in and asks if she has any trans headcanons for arthurian characters, and she, instead of being a normal person and saying like, no, she goes off about how trans characters in fanfic is forced representation and she cant talk about trans people bc surgery is triggering for her.
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found this in the archives lol. so i rbd politely explaining that while it was fine to not have trans hcs, her justifications for it were a little offensive.
hey i dont want to start discourse or anything but i see ur asks in the tag a lot and i wanted to politely address this. firstly obviously no one is under any obligation to hc things, and headcanons and fandom is not activism. if you’d just said “no, not really” it would b fine. i mean, cringe of u, but fine. but u make a couple of points here i want to look at a bit critically. then there is “I don’t like when headcanons are pushed up as ~representation, especially when… Ehm, it’s just fandom stuff?” i dont want to misinterpret you or put words in your mouth, but the implication that theres no need for trans rep in fandom and dismissal of that is a very cis take. My initial read of your intention there was a complaint of ‘why should something like fandom spaces, which are for fun and not serious, be filled with non fun serious (bad) trans stuff that i have to see when im trying to enjoy myself.’ now that could be incorrect, you were a bit vague here. if that is what you meant, i think you maybe should examine why you feel that way. if it isnt, im unclear on what exactly youre trying to say here. the idea that trans hcs are performative wokeness and “representation” in fandom is completely ignoring the actual trans people making and wanting them. there is so vanishingly little representation of trans people in actual media and even less thats good, and i think implying trans hcs are being pushed on people and fandom for, ~representation (a world of meaning in the ~ i shant speculate on) is very dismissive and ignorant of that fact. honestly the main thing im troubled by is the idea that trans bodies are inherently disgusting and triggering, which is an incredibly harmful and hurtful idea, and since you yourself acknowledge that trans people and hcs dont predicate surgery i question why you bring it up, except as a justification for disconfort rooted in unexamined prejudice. im not accusing you of being a terf or anything, i dont believe you meant harm by this or have bad intentions, and im definitely not saying anyone has to hc anything. it was the uncomfronted insidiousness of your justification that concerned me. this is not a personal attack at all, you just have a lot of influence in this fandom space and i wanted to make you aware of some of the surely accidentally harmful things ur saying.
so she flips out and rbs that yelling at me and cursing me out in italian (she moved blogs so i dont have her whole response just bits)
basically she completely derailed the original topic and accused me of calling her a horrible person for her triggers? which i never did and would never do, and then tried to make it a wierd anti v proshipper thing
third: I never said there’s no need of trans hcs in fandoms, BUT I’ve noticed that there’s a tendency of condemning people on the basis of what they ship / the dynamics they write. ( like the infinite discourse about how ‘I ship only mlm enemies to lovers because f/m enemies to lovers are Inherently Bad and Abusive - something I personally heard on Twitter sigh ), so I feel the need to say it. blame the current fandom climate.
and were like wow, this lady is unhinged, so we look around her blog and find a. a lot of stuff like saying its racist to not like incest?? and that italians arent white?? also shes a swerf?? and kind of deniel italian colonialsm? and reblogs from a bunch of out and out terfs} there was more but this isnt a callout post lol.
valentine lanzelet made a post about this crazy italian we found and she flipped out on him (this is one of several cursey italian tag rants)
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roughly means: GO SHIT YOURSELF (italian alternative to go fuck you), RACIST TERF IS YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN A WHEELBARROW (italian saying which does not translate well) AND WHAT HAS ITALIAN COLONIALISM TO DO WITH THIS YOU UGLY SHIT, and anyways lancelot sucks
(translated by claudio beheaded)
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anyway so then. and this is when it gets unhinged. she goes on this server me and a lot of my mutuals n friends r in, camelot, and starts complaining about me.
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(in red is the server admin, who was lovely) i asked her to move this convo to dms if she must bc it was rude to bring drama into the server, and she refused, and started insisting that she was being bullied and just wanted to be left alone, so i was like okay lets all block each other and move on, and she refused, continuing to defend everything she was being criticized for
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they also said claudio was making them look bad by translating their rants which like... queen if that made them look bad they were already a bad look.
so she keeps pinging people and replying to shit despite everyone else at this point begging her to just drop it and call it a stalemate
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imagine this but around n around for like an hour. also she repeatedly got me and valentine confused it was super funny. also she claimed it was an invasion of her privacy for valentine to go on her public blog and look at the things she openly said and rbd there
so the server got put in slow mode and she KEPT GOING even though everyone was just begging her to stop and not even responding
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as u can see, around this point we just started spamming her with emoji reactions. she announced she was leaving then went back to arguing a full three times before finally dipping from the server
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then she continued complaining about us and calling us puriteens in her tags (trying to make it a proshipper v anti thing i guess lol?)
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for literally months before finally remaking. also in that time she got in an argument about how the crusades were fine actually. italianphobia works hard but she works harder i guess
anyway i prolly left out a lot but thats the italian saga
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vldkeith · 3 years
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this may get long and u really dont need to post it if u dont wanna keep going with this. do you know that game that someone says something to another person, and then that person says to another, and it goes on like this and when it reaches the last person the message is completely different? Fandom DiscourseTM is always like that. especially in a case like this, it started on tumblr and went to twitter, so almost everyone had no context of what led to it. and people already have their formed
opinions about evil klancers who hate on creators for no reason, so they will on purpose ignore whatever might have started the discourse this time and jump to conclusions. i saw a lot of people who clearly had no idea what this was all about, and one or two even changed their opinions after hearing the context. so op of that post, like many people, probably had no idea how this all started and already jumped to conclusions.
fandom experience is a lot based on what you make it. its totally possible to not see criticism if... you dont follow blogs that are saying critics... people always fail to see this. "omg no one talks about this thing" no babe just because you never saw it, doesnt mean this discussion was never happening. especially because minorities are treated terrible in fandom spaces, when they say their concers and critics its treated as hate to content creators and "omg let people do what they want!!!!"
so the critics happens, but people ignore it and treat it as discourse and hate, making people who dare say something feel more and more unsafe to say anything. and then people turn around to say that no one was talking about it? cmon. also people seem to have this idea that the voltron fandom is/was so Toxic and all that as if every fandom isnt like this lol vld just happened to be >really big< but its always like that, vld is a bit different case but not that special.
its a lot easier to stop at "so you are saying that drawing buff men is bad" to actually use brain cells to analysis. some artists draw the boys buff and its nor weird or sexualized, its just a matter of preference and people are allowed to dislike. but oh how dare you say you dont like something in your fucking personal blog huh? maybe its because ive been on fandoms for a long time, and most of it was in fujoshi spaces, so i dont get why people dont get the point of this discussion.
sexualization of men happens a lot and its a huge problem for mlm. having women sexualize and project and reinforce steriotypes isnt revolutionary. its a problem. like i said, it reinforces a lot of bad things about mlm. drawing buff men isnt homophobic but when you are putting the buff men in the dominating role and the other men is very femine and small and fragile.. and u are a woman... theres no other way to see this as harmful. yes men and relationships like that exist in real life but
its one thing for a mlm to write/draw about their own experiences and its another thing for a woman, most times straight, to do it. they do it based on steriotypes and its really gross. people dont seem to get that this hole goes much depper than what ml does, thats just the tip of the iceberg. its a lot worse than what she does. but people refuse to go beyond the "are u saying people cant do what they want" so its impossible to have an actual discussion about this.
i get ur frustation with this ren, and like i said u dont need to post this if u dont wanna. i have a lot of thoughts about this but idk if i expressed myself well lol anyway king ily
(bolding done by me) this is very eloquently said. i 100% agree with you, we’re all caught in a game of telephone that nobody is sure of the context of. and everything you said abt this not beginning/ending with ml--yeah. like. that’s just it. this is a whole bigger problem, as oliver addressed above, and i wish people would recognize it or at least acknowledge when they don’t have the full story. i rly dont have much to add to this tho, oliver said it all perfectly. thank you.
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shoezuki · 3 years
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This is a post on the cheating accusations around dream mostly surrounding his response video.
If you don’t want to see this or any of these posts then blacklist the tag #discourse
SO I’ve been doing a lot of digging into what dream has said in his response to Geosquare’s original video and report, which was compiled and conducted by the Minecraft Java mods on speedrun.com. 
I won’t talk about that original report in detail, but basically: the mods came to the conclusion that Dream had a 1 in 7.5 trillion chance of getting the pearl bartering rates and the blaze drop odds that he did within the 6 streams he did. As in, someone would need that luck to replicate what dream got. Therefore, he cheated. 
I’m going to put this into a sort of ‘point form’ in according to topic, attempting to put it in chronological order.
Dream’s Initial Tweets
Ok so first like. these are bad. these tweets are what he said (on twitter, excluding in the speedrunning discord) directly after the video was Uploaded to Geo’s channel. 
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worth noting he did apologize later, although i wanted to talk about these two instances so i felt the need to include it. 
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there’s a lot of interesting wording in the apology tweet itself too. I personally find that when he apologizes he tends to still be very subtextually angry in them with the tone, but more specifically. where he says ‘although i have reason to be upset’, that’s kinda weak and really unneeded. Alongside the ‘intense criticism’, it reads as him trying to say he’s still in the right. kind of like “im sorry i was rude even though I had reason to be rude’. Its an apology sure but he’s not saying sorry for how he really reacted; its justified to him.
Dream’s Response Video
Dream posted a response on his side channel DreamXD on the 22nd, along with the report he had a supposed astrophysicist conduct. I’m going to talk about the report separately from the video for reasons I’ll explain. 
Frankly, the video doesn’t really summarize or explain the report in a meaningful way. At most, it takes some points from it but tends to twist the numbers around, misunderstand the probability and math, and also what the report itself concludes. 
Essentially, dream’s video insists that the numbers found by the mods are wrong and therefore he didn’t cheat at all, yet the report concludes that the numbers found by the mods weren’t entirely accurate, however they’re still extremely unlikely. This is also all under the assumption that the report is entirely correct (ill say how its not next)
His first point is that only his 1.16 run (that was at 5th place two months ago, would have now been 16th) was deemed cheated. This is true; the mods have said that he isnt banned outright and theres no reason to question the legitimacy of his 1.15 runs. 
He also concludes that Geo’s statement that Dream didn’t cooperate with them, and that he deleted 1.16 mod folders, was false. This one is a little more complicated. It could more be chalked up to a miscommunication, although it’s relevant. Geosquare posted screenshots of the specific conversation they had:
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Essentially it wasn’t entirely clear, i can understand how geo and the mods interpreted it in such a way. Altho April added in a quote retweet thread that dream didn’t supply the folder she asked for, so he didn’t supply everything they asked for like he states in the video
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Essentially: yeah, misleading and weird on both ends. I dont think this is really anything quantifiable, although dream talked about this in the video heavily. 
Out of this though, Geo DID correct himself in the description of the mods’ video. Dream shows this in his own response, but it crops out some of what geo says. here’s from dream’s video
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that Update 2 is where he corrects himself. literally why the fuck would you crop it like this and put it in the video i mean this looks so weird and genuinely doesnt provide anything. Here’s what geo actually said
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Dream specifically cut it before the line where geo mentions how he said he deleted his specific 1.16 speedrun profile. This one is just so dumb to me. I’d say ‘why not include that’ but either i feel its a) so there’s no potential for people to say what he had actually said could be interpreted otherwise easily or b) doesnt want people to know he got so upset he deleted files (ego wise yknow). Again, I dont think this is definitive of anything but god. it feels scummy lmao
The Video: Incorrect Representation of His Own Report
Dream straight up doesnt present the report’s numbers properly. In fact it makes the entirety of his visuals forfeit, i.e. the gold block analogy that goes on for like 20 minutes. 
The mods said his luck was 1/7.5 trillion. Dream’s report says its 1/10 million (with the addition of 5 other streams) or 1/100 million (only the 6 streams).
I’ll only consider the 1/10 mil odds, since its all dream really brings up. but Basically; there’s not much difference between 1/10 million and 1/7.5 trillion. 
Dream says that the difference is 7.5 trillion minus 10 million, aka 7.4999 trillion. This is what his entire visual with the gold blocks is based on. This is absolutely incorrect, i cant stress that enough. 
You can’t find the difference of fractions by subtracting only the denominators. Like. this is elementary school math. it just doesnt work. 
It’d actually be calculated as: (1/10 000 000) - (1/7 500 000 000 000) = (74999/7 500 000 000 000)
If the mods are wrong, they’re only wrong by 749999/7.5 trillion. that’s literally only  0.000000099999866666667. 
Dream no doubt saw the numbers, considered 10 million vs. 7.5 trillion, and used these big numbers to hold his own point. PROBABILITY DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT. I really think he was just taking advantage of the seemingly big numbers here and wrote it out in a way that favoured him. The gold block analogy in the video played throughout the entire video practically, jokes were made on it, and he made a point of it being ‘so big the game crashed’. 
It’s just plain wrong. even so a difference in the odds doesnt prove shit. He’s downplaying his own odds that he found too. 1/10 million isnt a small number. Even though the legitimacy of that calculation is in question, it is still significant enough to proclaim he cheated. 
Some quick points before I move onto the report; these aren’t as significant in my eyes but it adds to the picture
there’s been criticism of his joking manor throughout the entire video, very specifically the Bill Nye joke. Considering he doesnt actually have a name to provide for his astrophysicist, this joke doesnt feel right
the mod he had a voice clip from (willz) even believes that he cheated and has agreed with the mod team the whole time. 
Dream never has a name for the mod who is apparently on his side (more understandable), the minecraft developer he quoted, or the astrophysicist (most damning)
Dream states that fabric is used by most speedrunners which is true, but fabric and fabric API are different; dream also had the latter installed. my knowledge of how theyre different is limited, all i really know is the API is what can enable editing of the code while fabric is more a modloader. im not entirely sure on this
Dream has said at the end of the video that all funds will go to the mod team so they can make a client that will regulate cheaters. this has been noted as feeling manipulative or like a ‘bribe’, but it definitely puts the mods in a bad position. 
either they accept it and look like they ‘gave in’ to dream and therefore acknowledge him in the right
they deny it and look selfish/taking dream’s kindness for granted
geo said they would insist it goes to a charity instead
Dream constantly disregards the mods as young, inexperienced, ‘just volunteers’ etcetcetc, despite the fact that theyre analysis has been discussed by people with confirmed PhDs without much criticism
Dream’s Report
The report itself is extremely interesting, in that it’s very questionable, but even so it doesn’t come to the conclusion that dream didn’t cheat. The tone between the video and the report is drastically different. 
This is from the “3. What are the goals of this document?” section:
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It essentially says this isnt intended, from the very beginning, to completely exonerate dream of cheating. Also note that the author says the mods’ report was mostly correct. 
This is at the end of “9 Conclussions”:
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It does notably say cheating isnt the only explanation, but it doesnt actually go as far to say that it’s not possible that he cheated. 
But this can be argued to not matter if we consider the validity of the report as a whole
Dream’s Report: Criticisms
Possibly the first and most known debunking of the report is by u/mfb on reddit, although there’s been much more such as this programmer criticizing the code provided at the end of the report (partially due to how the author of it stated that piglins barter 4-7 pearls, which is incorrect: it’s 4-8), Andrew Gelman, an actual statistician professor from harvard, commented on the original mods’ report as ‘impressive’ while Dream’s report is being regarded as something funny in the comments, and even analysis of dream’s behaviours and his argument by a law student
But what u/mfb posted is what i’ll focus on. Some background into the user; he’s a particle physicist, is moderator in subreddits like r/cosmology and r/astrophysics, he’s regarded as a reliable source on r/askscience and r/askreddit. Basically, multiple other people have vouched for him and before all this he had many posts in these fields. 
that’s already better than the unnamed astrophysicist. 
The post is better speaking for itself but here is a few exerpts from it;
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Essentially, the report’s methods are debunked by u/mfb-, alongside that a moderator of r/statistics regarded the report as ‘nonsensical in its application of statistics’ and linked to u/mfb-’s comment. 
i’m going to end this here. Partially because severe backpain or whatever,.
but I want to say at this point its practically definitive that dream cheated, that he lied to us, and that he continues to do so. Much more could be said on his video such as his tone, intentions, the overt emphasis on the ‘biases’ of the mods. 
I havent even mentioned that the ‘astrophysicist’ themself may be a scam; they are sourced from a website that is extremely sketchy, has no names attached to it, and was created less than a year ago (with practically no traffic on it until maybe a month ago). 
But i hope this is coherent. I have interest in this so if theres questions im always open. 
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littlebabycrybtch · 4 years
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honestly its still so heart dropping and disgusting to continue to see aspec ppl have to put on that like. trained, overly polite, overly passive, complete Lack Of Self Respect tone that forces a sense of ‘i know i dont matter’ just so they dont get completely automatically ground into dust when they go out on a limb and ask ppl they wanna interact with; ‘hey please dont start anything but can you just let me know if you’re an aphobe or not’ and its Still met with soo much mockery and disbelief almost every time like....... bro what even is there not to understand. you’re literally being the proof of why they have to ask abt it i cannot Fathom that kind of Blindness like lmfao bitch they just dont wanna be around some1 who hates them.... thats .. normal... thats human?? thats human behaviors. its having standards for yourself. its FEELINGS like unironically rn pls tell me you’re clowning and that you do understand how fucken LOUD you all are abt normalizing aspec hate and how often we obviously run into bitches like you and have to ask this question. you know how LONG we’ve begged for basic support so you have to know that reacting to being asked if you give a shit abt somebody with that kind of mockery is disgusting and bratty and ignorant af bc bro lmao its YOUR FAULT for being a Part of the people HATING THEM....?
holy shit lol, nobody should be good with being around people who disrespect a part of them,,,, thats like a genuine personal problem if someone willingly wants to do that, so why tf would you be expecting that. bc its us? bc its us. bc its us and you feel THAT right in thinking that we’re so worthless, they we are just so Stupid for not knowing that too. its funny to you that we dont realize how little we matter. lmao its so ugly and warped like!!! god how fuckin evil can you get just calm down idiot lmao theyre asking if you respect them and you’re basically responding ‘why would it matter to you if i didnt?’ bhsejbjehg uhhhhhhjjjjjjjjj bc thats. a regular thing 2 care about. its standards like mam do you hang out with ppl who hate you. is that some normal thing to you like. avoiding the ppl who wish you werent around is sort of just . health and safety and basic emotional response and also common sense. really is. literally How dehumanizing and detached coudl you POSSIBLY be abt this to be directly asked by a marginalized identity group if you respect them or not, and actually say No, but Also be like ‘LMAO YOU REALLY ASKED ME THAT? IT DOESNT MATTER’ like. yeah it matters bc they stay existing actually, you dont have to hate them for that, and they wouldnt have to ask yall this stuff if you behaved lmfao. not to mention your reaction is literally the evidence that it apparently matters enough to You to make sure they know you dont accept them. fully, you are whats making it ‘matter’ so much bc you are the one going apeshit over a benign existence. you’re the one losing it over nothing.
like lmfafuckingo what is WRONG with your MIND dude im.... speechless like ‘dont drag me into discourse’ YOU HATING SOME1 AND THEM HATING YOU BACK IS NOT ‘’’’’’TUMBLR DISCOURSE’’’’’..............? WHAT R U DISPLAYING RN DID U NOT SPEND ENOUGH TIME IN THE GUIDANCE COUNSELORS OFFICE GROWIN UP WITH THIS ATTITUDE......... ITS THE NATURAL ORDER OF SOCIAL CONSEQUENCE......... ITS SOME BASIC ‘YOU STARTED IT’ TEE MOTHERFUCKIGN EM LOGIC...? YOU HATE THEM! FOR AUTONOMY! FOR HAVING AN IDENTITY AND ENOUGH SELF RESPECT TO STICK BY IT! THEY HATE YOU BACK I THINK THEYRE ALLOWED TO ASODLKFL;SDF AAAA DUUUDE lmaoooo and like good lord, passively existing around ppl who hate you and not challenging them isnt ‘avoiding discourse’. thats. so unhealthy sdjkf what kind of underdeveloped politics.... its toxic and absolutely batshit to genuinely ask that of Anyone. like bro stop Actually expecting ppl to hate themselves for ur comfort thats.... so weird i.... are you okay hhh nah you just need to step up and try to be a regular ass person actually and have sympathetic reasoning skills. being ace is fiiiine its nbd i dont need to to change for you, im allowed to be this, and i get to ask if you’re ok with that so i dont end up in a gross ass environment.
ace =/= discourse. you dont get a say in everything my dude. we’re not here for you to analyze, we dont give you permission and we dont need Your permission to exist, we’re not asking that of you when we send those msgs we’re tryna figure out if ur gonna be a bitch or not basically lol just seeing if we’re gonna be accepted by you or if we’re wasting our time like alksd;al its so traumatizing and unnecessary and MINDBOGGLING that u think its not fucked up ?? to feel like we are supposed to accept your hate of us as our truth?? you believe we’re that awful that its Funny when we dont Realize it or smth thats just so....... what would even make you respect us. literally absolutely nothing besides not existing in front of you. so. thats hate. thats irrational unwavering hate. beyond the fact that any group always has the right to ask you if YOU hate THEM, you cant sit there and mock the mere idea of caring when you are literally giving reason for it by trying your BEST to upset them and make them feel like they deserve to feel like shit for what they are afterwards. dfgjdfkgjdlfkgfd man the hypocrisy and like complete lack of self awareness in reg culture is like novacaine for my brain its so jarring sometimes. im allowed to have a problem with you having a problem with me bc i cant fix Being smth, you can fix how you feel abt it. balls in your court ill stay waiting. im not gonna hate myself bc you’re not right xoxo get a vaccine for w/e makes you this evil and selfish pls
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1990jeevas · 3 years
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bro i agree sm with ur last post like i love falcon and the winter soldier but making walker sympathetic was probably the worst decision they ever made, along with the other choices, but that’s the one that irritated me the most
u summed up a lot of the problems with the show fantastically (i say a lot instead of all because i’m sure there’s more but u covered most of them so well)
ahh thank you!! yeah there's definetly more but i just wanted to make an offhanded post about me being pissy since i just finished the series lmao
anyways yeah when they started trying to make him sympathetic i was just like. hold. pause. did he not just kill someone when he definetly did not need to? did he not just spend the first half of the series preaching to the two best friends of captain america, a black man and a man who had literally known steve for basically his entire life, about how he would be a "good captain america" only to murder a man in broad daylight in a situation that was 100% preventable had he not interfered with what sam and bucky were doing? did he not, quite literally, talk down to sam and bucky as if they were weaker than him the entire series when both of them are literally stronger than him by at least 10 times in some aspect? like. how do you make that sympathetic? how???
like. it got to the point where i was just kinda like. is this my adhd? is this me spacing out and missing stuff? am i forgetting shit bc im just not invested enough??? but it's like. even if i am, it still doesnt add up, that bitch shouldn't be sympathetic in any way and if you're gonna make a three dimensional character who i sympathize with, you should probably think of doing that before making me think he's basically a cocky, entitled military brat who doesnt think he's racist bc his best friend is black or some shit like. you cant make me sympathize with that!! as a black person with family who has been in the military, i am not gonna sympathize with that at all!! like. idc that you're best friend (who died to give you character development, dear god do the writers not see how many racist tropes they played into writing this series?) died dude like yall wouldnt have been in that situation had you not being a cocky little shit!!
ajsksk like i know i said i was gonna get into it, i know i said i wasnt gonna discourse over this show bc im not invested enough and ive only watched it one time anyways so it's hard to pick apart but it's like. right off the bat, this show rubbed me the wrong way bc why is disney of all companies trying to give me a "racism bad!11!1!!" plot line? why is disney trying to give me a "and here's the struggles of a black man in america" (which also are like. the struggles of a privileged black man, specifically. had sam not been the falcon in that cop scene, he probably wouldve been dead or in jail at the very least) story as if they havent literally made multiple racist scenes in their movies before? like. sorry disney but you quite literally make white savior characters in every goddamn movie, why would i want this from you. especially when you're then gonna fuck it up by killing multiple poc characters, sympathizing with wonder bread walker, and literally writing racist tropes into your story about how racism affects black people.
(also the way they wrote bucky into this story pissed me off bc it's like. if you're trying to convince me he isnt racist, why would you make him have the lamest excuse ever for hiding a black super soldier. why would you have him be literally the least helpful mfer in that confrontation with the cops. "just give them your ID" okay cracker)
anyways. sorry for the long rant, i didnt realize how long i was going on for til I had this but hopefully you dont mind (and I'm so sorry if you do ajsksk) but that show was just. Not It for me and i think disney should go back to writing stories without racism as a plot point until they can learn how to not sympathize with every white man under the goddamn sun, no matter what his crime.
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*This is absolutely a fic promotion, but plz hear me out on the discourse part too
So, self inserts and original characters, the worst fanfic catgeory (fanfiction.net literally says that in one of its fic groupings, and I'm pretty sure the number of views on any fanfic website says the same).
TLDR- Yes, I agree that this stereotype carries truth, but I do think SIs and OCs have more potential to be explored, and the stigma surrounding these labels is blocking that. And oh god I just want to know so badly if this is the deal with the work I'm currently writing or if I genuinely just can't write well.
The longer version- (this was written quite late into the night/ I'm in Singapore/, and might not be so well organized, I apologize for that.)
To what extent is this stigma "justified"? I mostly use AO3 for reading fics, and when I see the OC/SI tag, the thing is....I came to look for fics about canon characters and might not have the wish to invest my time in taking in a new character. I understand that most people who read fanfiction would feel the same. This, I think, is more or less justified. If you came to look for a certain canon character/relationship, and you don't want to get invested in any OCs, then of course the OC/SI tag isn't for you.
But... I think that's about it. Bcs here's the thing,
1. Using the OC/SI format does NOT automatically make the fic worse in quality. Hell, I'm not even sure if the statistical "fact" that these tags generate the worst fics is true. Judging from what I've read in the tma fandom and my other past fandoms, the stuff with OC/SI isn't inherently worse or better than the rest of the fics. There are ones that are pretty normal in writing quality, and the ones where the prose is rly good, others where plot design stands out etc. Of course, there is a lot of wish fulfillment and the like, but... there's also a lot of that in fics that write about canon characters.
2. I can't really say whether a wish fulfillment "I just want to write cool scenes/fluff" fic is better or worse than a more serious fic that explores some characterization or plot point. I think stories (all stories, books, fanfic, myths, everything) exist to entertain us and make us feel things. I am not sure if writing a feel good story is any less meaningful than writing a story that brings people "deeper" thoughts and makes them feel good in some other way. And this isn't even the issue at hand, because fundamentally, writing an OC/SI or not doesn't determine what the content is about. I agree that a larger proportion of OC/SI fics tend to be more on the lighthearted side, but... so is most of the content consumed in the other tags. Readers don't seem to have a problem with feel good stories/fix it fics etc when there is no OC or SI, so I don't see why that type of fic paired with an OC/SI should be considered any less "meaningful".
3. Guys/gals, what is an OC/SI?
Yes, it is very personal, and it is very wish fulfillment, but... isn't that like a common literature thing...like in general? Look at the works that "real writers" publish, from contemporary to the classics, which writer doesn't write about themselves? Like, just off the top of my head, Les Miserables, Marius? Um, Dante's Inferno? (and that guy did not self insert into some random thing he straightup went for the Christian Canon😂 used his real name too, so Jonny I guess if you feel awkward about your MCs name you can think of Dante//Jk). But seriously, self insert and wish fulfillment is a big part of literature itself, and while there are things to be said about these tropes, if people don't have that much of a problem with them in other literature, I don't see why fanfic OC/SIs shouldn't be treated the same.
4. in relation to the last point. More specifically...
I do think that a lot of fanfiction which write about the original characters are also OC/SIs to different extents. I've read fics that depict pairings where the author and readers project heavily onto one (or more) of the characters. I've read stuff where the author uses a minor character to explore the established world building/character dynamics and it's clear that it's an SI but with the appearance of being a canon character (and yes it gets tons more views than one that's written as SI). How do I know this? Because I am one of those readers who project onto those characters, and I know why I read those fics, I know why I like them. It's because I can self insert, and feel like I am part of the story, part of the world. Isn't that something most people want to do? I mean, Universal Studios? Specific franchise themed museums? COSPLAY??? Of course that's not all there is to engaging with a story, but what's the shame in wanting to be a part of an already established world building, or want to love a wonderfully designed character? (slight tangent, but if u feel like it's bcs ur not as interesting/cool as the story's world or other characters appear to be then I can tell you with certainty that's not true. You are very interesting and cool and absolutely deserve to be part of a fantasy world.) Isn't that a big part of why "real literature" is written and read as well? So... what's the problem with being like, okay, I'm just gonna insert myself into the world now, through this original character? Of course, I'm not asking for people who prefer to write strictly in canon characters to change that. What I mean to say is, writing it in the form of an OC/SI, doesn't make it a lot different from other fics, or hell, from classic literature even.
I think a potential problem might be the feeling that you are taking too much creative liberty with something that is established canon, by having your own character directly interact with it. But, um, can't the same thing be said if you take a canon character, and then proceed to project heavily onto them? Like, a big part of why I don't feel comfortable writing just canon characters is that I know I'm clearly projecting and it feels awkward to rewrite an already established character to explore my own thoughts/desires. I would rather just straightup design a new character. (this is all just personal feelings, I haven't thought enough about this to make any kind of argument here. And of course, the main reason is I can't trust myself to write canon characters that don't ooc in some way so having one as my protag might kill me with my own awkwardness. )
5. the potential.
Now this is looking far ahead because I'm not sure how much our current system for distribution of knowledge & copyright can allow it. But damn. The OC/SI thing has a lot of potential. There is one thing that makes it different from writing in canon characters, and that is the way it opens up a clear space for you to add your own experience into the story. When exploring your own world view through the lense of an already established world, or vice versa, so much can be revealed about both, perhaps even bringing to light aspects of the narrative the author hadn't previously seen. We all know this feeling, it's when we ramble on about one of our stories or worlds to a friend, and they point something out, and we're like ooooh that makes a lot of sense but I hadn't thought about it before. Yea, like those moments. Stories are generally made more interesting by their interaction with many different perspectives/experiences. With OC/SI it straightup allows you to be like, okay, I'm going to engage my own experience with this fictional world/character now. I mean, isnt that also a large part of how fanfics work in general? Readers/writers bouncing symbols and experiences off each other in the form of stories? Reading about the various interpretations of canon stuff? Whats the problem with tagging it as it is? I'm just thinking about the fics that could have been written as OC/SI and explored the story in some fascinating way which weren't written at all or were discontinued bcs the number of views discouraged those authors. (I feel that with my current work as well, though I have already written half of it and the remaining half is too juicy to give up so I'll probably be completing it)
6. conclusion, sorta
I guess what I want for OC/SO fics is just the same treatment as everything else. Saw it in the tags you were searching for? Look at the teaser. Do you find it interesting? No, then very well. Yes, then click in and take a look. Do you like the writing style? Are you getting into the narrative?... etc. You know, like, same standards you would have for any other kind of fic. Not feeling like you want to read about a new character? Cool, no problem at all, click away. But I do not think that the current difference in number of views is just based on whether readers are interested in reading about a new character or not. In fact, that's what I want it to be. Show me that "true" difference, the one without the stigma behind it, because, as the same goes for every kind of stigmatized community, you're not receiving the proportionate amount of positive feedback, but what's worse is you can't even trust the criticism you receive. If no one engages, or someone gives a negative feedback, how am I supposed to know if it's because my writing is bad? or my teaser wasn't interesting? or my character was badly written/designed? Or if it was to a certain extent, bcs of the stigma? I do want criticism, of course I do, it's the first step to every improvement, and I would love it if I could get feedback that I can trust. (and this brings us to the truely "oppressed" community of the fanfic world, the people who write very good but cant write interesting teasers//jk)
7. the entirely skippable straw man rant part, also the expression of my love for The Magnus Archives.
some straw man: if you like writing your own characters so much, why not just write your own story entirely? and publish it?
You think I'm not annoyed about that? Here's the thing, I LIKE THIS WORLD I READ FROM THIS BOOK/SOME OTHER FORM OF MEDIA OR WHATEVER, I like it, it's brilliant, I want to write for it, about it, be in it, think about it, read about it, engage in whatever way I can. I CAN'T just "go write my own." And who do you think is more annoyed about not being able to publish the stuff? (According to you) I have written something that is potentially publishable (thank you btw I know you don't exist and is a strawman I invented just now but I've gotta get my compliments where I can//Jk), and I can't publish it in any potentially big way (and rightfully not) because I have no copyright over the characters. I worked hard to design my character, to make the plot meaningful, and to study the original canon plot and characters so that it would all fit together (I mean, partially bcs I can't force myself to sit down and write sth that is any less complex), and I can't actually publish it where more people will read it. And of course, on top of that, even less people will feel like reading once that "original character" tag is up. Does it look like I would be here if I could "just write my own"?
(slight tangent but come on what even is "your own"? how many classic European lit books were just fanfics of each other which were all just fanfics of the Bible or Greek mythology or sth? Stories and symbols have no boundaries it's the economic system that drew those.)
Damn this got way longer than I thought and it's morning now😂 guess I ran out of space to actually promote my fic, might have to do that in a seperate post then. But to anyone who actually read up to here, I'm so sorry for wasting your time no but srsly thanks for reading all of these jumbled thoughts, and good luck with whatever you are working on at the moment, I know you're probably working on something if you're reading through these tags. And of course good luck to the tma folk we're gonna face the end together🙏. good night (I should rly go to sleep now😂)
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ur phrasing of "people are spreading that enby is infantizing" comes off as 1) saying its not to everybody 2) implying that it inherently as a word isnt infantizing 3) AND implying that anybody who thinks it is is a hatemongering exclusionist. its not in bad faith for me to come to reasonable conclusions of what you're saying based on how ur saying it. ur argument about "nb is aave" is also bad, sometimes things share acronyms. it happens. its not "appropriating aave" to use nb. i promise you
black people are smart enough to know context! ur the one of accusing others of having nitpicking language when ur the one starting arguments based on language other nb people use for themselves or dont want to use for themselves. the point about folx is that its also NOT AAVE and you as a white person really need to stop hiding behind black people and our culture to support your bad faith angry arguments. and my comment about "would you say womxn" was saying thats a word you shouldnt use, that 
was the whole point. you cant brush away any criticism of your own posts with "you just hate nonbinary people and our words" and "dont come at me with discourse" when youre the one who made the post in the first place. ur so obsessed with using the "correct" language that you constantly change the rules of that you leave other people in your own community completely under the bus. you cant look at your brothers and sisters and scream at them that theyre wrong when u barely know what ur saying
and quite frankly, saying things like  "i will meet you with so much love" and then in the same breath saying "quite frankly this discourse sounds like a fucking crusade against nonbinary people" to other people in ur community they disagree with you? is not a good look 
WOW this is a whole lot and frankly a lot of it is such frigid ass takes i don’t even really know if i should respond but here we go:
1. people are spreading that enby is inherently infantalizing, i’ve said many times it’s not inherently, whether words are infantalizing is personal. my problem is when people try and tone police nonbinary people as a whole, telling us what words we can and can’t use for ourselves. words like enby, joyfriend, orbisian, etc. are words we made for ourselves and almost every time a new word is coined for nonbinary people and our experiences with gender and orientation, people both within and without our community try to control our language in ways I find disgusting.
rereading my op with this perspective, yeah, it does read that i don’t believe enby can be infantalizing. i’m gonna edit it for further clarity. the post was made in anger and i used shorthand. that’s not an excuse, and i’m sorry for the confusion.
 if you have concerns or are confused you bring it up in a reasonable and mature way, rather than coming into my inbox sealioning me. i’m autistic and i have adhd, it makes communication hard. i’m not asking you to be nice to me or anything, but i think it’s reasonable to request that criticism of my posts be sent in a toneful way if you expect a positive response. if you decide to come in aggressively, then i’m going to respond in kind idk what to tell u. this is an internet blogging platform where everyone is at each others teeth at all times. i made a post in anger i don’t think it’s necessarily surprising that i have my haunches raised lmao
2. i have the same opinion of people concern trolling about enby as i do about people concern trolling the use of queer: if you hop onto posts that have nothing to do with you (inpersonal you) and the discourse and obnoxiously remind us that such and such word shouldn’t be applied broadly without consent, you’re an asshole, because everyone on this fucking website understands that, and folks really like to derail posts to police our language. so while i don’t believe that anyone who finds enby infantalizing to be fearmongering/exclusionist/exorsexist whatever, i do believe that people who try to police others’ use of identity (when it’s not being harmful, obvs) are assholes at best.
3. as a white person it’s my responsibility to hold other white people responsible when many black nonbinary and trans people have spoken up about the use of “nb” and fighting against cultural appropriation. i’m not “hiding behind black people” i’m literally parroting things said by black people because thats what allies do: you listen. I know black folks aren’t a monolith but to be quite honest i think using harmless alternatives like nonby and nby to be easy enough even if the whole black community isn’t in agreement. at the end of the day it’s a drop in the fucking bucket to change one or two words we use to not be assholes. and I know plenty of black folks also don’t give a shit whether you use nb or not. the mileage varies but i always err on the side of caution, especially when it literally costs me nothing.
(X, X (this post was made by a white person but the blog i got it from was run by a black person, plus the sources at the bottom are nice), X. There was a lot of discourse about this a couple months back but because Tumblr search is broken I’m having trouble finding more sources)
4. for the third fucking time, folx isn’t just meant to be gender-neutral. i linked a post that said it was sourced from political groups, esp political groups of color; that sounds like aave to me (altho i’m white and not the authority). and even if it’s not just meant for black folks, it still means more than just ~a fun and quirky gender neutral form of folks~. but seeing as you don’t want to read that post, i guess this point is moot.
5. the thing about womxn and mxn kind of falls apart when you realize that most ppl putting x in words aren’t doing it to be gender neutral, and even if they were, who gives a fuck? words are made up!
6. i’m not saying “don’t come at me with discourse” I MADE A POST AND YOU CAME IN MY INBOX GROINGORINGORINGOIRNGRIONGIOR the tag “please do not discourse with me i am but a humble farmer” is my discourse tag, in case that’s what you’re referring to. which, if you read my about, you’d know. but hey.
7. i’m leaving no one under the bus i’m mad about how much our language is policed about the only ppl i’m leaving under the bus are people who want to police language .
8. to whom, exactly, am i saying they’re wrong? people who police our language? i’ll gladly tell assholes they’re wrong all day long and i won’t lose a hint of sleep over it. (also, calling ppl in the nonbinary community “my brothers and sisters”....... hm)
9. i don’t give a fuck if u disagree with me. hell, i don’t care if you come in my inbox calling me slurs. if u wanna argue w me about a post i’m gonna argue back; you don’t have to agree w my post, you don’t have to interact with me bc of it either. i have quite a couple asks and messages a month asking me about the discourse posts i make. they all come with compassion and a genuine desire to learn or correct me. i don’t wave away criticism, i wave away bad faith arguments and folks with bad attitudes who clearly don’t give a fuck what i have to say. my comment about the crusade against nonbinary people is related to the constant belittling and criticism our whole community faces; exorsexism is rampant, and if you can’t see that then idk what to tell you.
i respond to the messages i receive on this place in kind with how they’re delivered.
if i misread your tone, i’m sorry. if i got needlessly defensive, i’m sorry. if there’s a piece of my post that’s easily misinterpreted, let me know. i’m open to criticism, so long as it’s 1. presented as criticism (rather than something vague) (this isn’t @ you anon this is about something else) bc i’m fuckin autistic and can’t understand shit and 2. done in good faith with respect to my intelligence and reason
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silverjirachi · 4 years
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Do u rly 100% believe ur not a woman? If u dont mind sharing how did u figure that out? How can u separate urself from ur body like that? We r our bodies! I cant wrap my mind around it even tho I have dysphoria. Also women are the most oppressed class of people 2 this day so it seems really really stupid 2 let our oppressors claim womanhood. We r all born from vaginas. How do people ignore history & reality? Is pretending ur not who u r a coping mechanism? Wouldnt accepting ur body b healthier?
Hi there!  I considered not answering this because I don’t want to fan flames or stir discourse because I don’t want other people to get wrapped up into something that is 100% about me. I try really hard to cultivate a positive, lighthearted environment in all of my online presences.  But honestly your ask isn’t worded hatefully, and I think what I have to say is important and might help someone else, so I’m going to answer it. But I probably won’t answer anything else and there better not be any funny business in these notes.  If there is, I would like to politely ask people not to engage with it.  Please leave me, and everyone else in these notes, alone.  I am writing this for me, to answer your question about me, and I’m writing this in case there’s a baby enby out there who is exactly like me who who needs to read this today.
With that disclaimer aside...,
Yes, I really do 100% believe I am not a woman.  I unfortunately cannot easily explain how without falling into the traps of words like masculinity and femininity.  But it’s the same as any other identity.  How do you know you are a woman?  Is it something that you identify with, feel a personal relationship with?  Or does it ultimately only come from your body alone, and you feel absolutely no connotations or connections to it whatsoever?  Did it come to you through your body?  I know people who 100% identify with their assigned gender, but can’t really articulate how or why without falling into these same binaries.  And I know people who 100% DON’T identify with their assigned gender and cannot truly articulate how or why.  It doesn’t even have a lot to do with masculinity or femininity.  A lot of our language just doesn’t have the words to describe such an internal experience.
It is true that there is a very specific type of oppression that comes with being born in a female body- or a body that would otherwise assign you female at birth.  From what I can tell, that’s what a lot of this really relies on.  I don’t think anyone who is AFAB and nonbinary or ftm is really denying that, at least not from my experience.  I’m sure they’re out there.  But we, by and large, HAVE had the experience of discrimination in some way or another because of our “femaleness-” our ASSIGNED femaleness.  (Something that got thrown at me was the idea of female socialization- it’s true, I was socialized as a female bc that’s what my body “looked” like and that’s just what our society assumes).  But just as there is a very specific kind of oppression that goes along with being AFAB, there is also a very specific kind of oppression that goes along with being mtf, and there is a very specific type of oppression that goes along with being a poc and any of those other categories.  That’s at the core of intersectionality.  Different parts of our identities interact with each other in different ways.  People experience oppression and privilege in different ways and at different times depending on where they fall in this mix of race/class/gender/ability etc.
I also have body dysphoria, and it’s true our bodies can define a lot of our human experience (after all if I didn’t have a body I wouldn’t have dysphoria, right?? Godddd what a life).  But also because I have dysphoria, I do not think that our bodies should be the defining characteristic of our identities.  Bodies and presentation can cause a lot of our social interactions- including oppression- but I think to say woman and woman’s experience = female body is quite a limited summary of the issue with little nuance, and it’s also quite limiting with the way our society is changing.  This is why I heavily prefer terms like assigned female at birth.  This can imply that such a person may have had a socially female experience (like me) in part due to their body, and thus was socially assigned to be a female, but just... also isnt a woman for some reason or another.
I also think that what we strive to do is not to ignore history (I think very few people are denying the way women have been treated in history, and are still treated to this day) but we hope to build from it.  I think that’s why feminism and gender studies get lumped together.  A lot of feminist activists/scholars (many were both at the same time) led our current strides into gender constructivism.  I studied a lot of gender essentialism when I started my thesis, and to be honest, I saw the point behind it in the context of the time, but we’ve shifted in understanding and context since then.
And, in full disclosure, at the start of this whole adventure, (and i am SURE this will be used against me) I really did identify with being a woman.  I thought it was awesome to have the body I had and when I started witchcraft I did actually fall into that really easy trap of tying the female experience to magic.  (Honestly because I HATED my body and looking back that was probably a way to cope with DYSPHORIA and not the other way around).  And isn’t inherently harmful to have a working magical relationship with your body like that, but it is harmful when you think and say that’s the only way people can exist and the only way people can be magical.  But over time, I just started to change.  Nothing traumatic happened, I’ve been incredibly fortunate and privileged my entire life, it’s not a coping mechanism, I just started to identify with womanhood less and less, for no real particular reason- nothing about me personality or preference-wise changed.  Just my own internal view of myself.
I also got the words for gender euphoria.  And I noticed more and more that, if I was being honest with myself, that that was always how I had truly felt.  While it’s true gender roles shouldn’t exist, just like any other role or label, it’s different when someone chooses that role for themselves versus when they have it thrust upon them.  As a child, like many other AFAB children, I had the idea of womanhood thrust upon me, with all the roles and stereotypes that went along with it.  It’s fucked up in the first place, don’t get me wrong, but I knew people who embraced these fullheartedly, I knew people who didn’t.  But some people who didn’t still identified with womanhood, others became ftm, others became mtf.  I had “woman” thrust upon me, didn’t identify with it, rebelled against it, tried to rationalize it by accepting that I could be a “woman” without falling into gender stereotypes because there is no ONE correct way to be a woman (which there ISN’T), still didn’t feel right, did a full 180 and started buying pink lingerie and worshipped Aphrodite, that worked for a while and was overall a positive experience that helped me hate myself a little less, but at the end of the day, no matter what I did, I still did not identify as a woman.  What does happen to me, however?  I get a burst of euphoria when I am called a boy.  That makes me feel like I’m being really seen.  I actually resonate with that after years of not resonating at all with womanhood no matter how I sliced it, and that’s why it feels so fucking good.  I tried to identify as a woman. Believe me, I tried like all fucking hell.  Even though my presentation is still read as mostly female (I would disagree strongly with it but alas society and their fucking gender roles), I am quite the feminine boy-something to me, and I don’t have to justify that to anyone.
So TL;DR no it’s not a coping mechanism, I have lived a life full of very accepting, open-minded people and I won’t deny that I have that privilege, but in spite of that i STILL did not view myself as a woman, no matter how hard I tried.  I’ve actually generally accepted my body except on the days my dysphoria makes me want to throw my boobs across the room, I don’t think it’s denying history if we’re building from it, gender roles are fucked up.  I recognize that my experience being AFAB- and others who are AFAB- comes along with a particular type of oppression, but that’s why I prefer the term AFAB because it indicates the experience you’re talking about while also leaving it open to considering other experiences like my own and the experiences of other trans and nb folks.  In a few years AFAB might be outdated as a term and then we’ll find more terms to help figure this whole mess out.
TL;DR;DR no it’s not a coping mechanism and anyone is welcome to think that this is simply part of the horrible fallout of female socialization, and anyone is welcome to think that i’m mentally ill for identifying like this. people can think or say all they want about me but it won’t change the fact that I’m a boy-something and it won’t change all the years I struggled trying to figure that out.
Thank you for allowing me to write this all out, I think I really needed to.  This is something that had been floating in my brain forever, and explaining it all to you actually made my thoughts that much clearer.
Now everyone who sees this- please respect my wishes and please don’t clown in these notes if it spreads.  I’m tired enough about this as it is today.  I’m tired enough about fucking gender as it is.  We’re all fucking tired.  What I’ve shared today is about me and me alone and I want to keep it that way.
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