#also throughout the episode she's serving them food and drinks and stuff:
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#My gifs#just wanted to gif this moment#it just seemed nice she was checking on everyone making sure everyone is ok#also I just realized she's the royal we've seen spend the most time with imps/hellhounds as peers#also throughout the episode she's serving them food and drinks and stuff:#idk just given the whole class issue with imps/hellhounds they keep bringing up it's interesting that *she's* the one doing stuff for them#it just makes me wonder how she's seen by other royals; if they can all shapeshift like Stolas' dad maybe she chose to look like a hellhoun#man i'm so happy I figured out this new method for gifmaking#it takes longer but it looks so much crisper#rambling in the tags#shut up me#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#my gifs
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Nine Months is Too Long | Shawn Mendes
“You two decide to try to have a baby after you niece’s birthday party, and Shawn’s way too excited”
hiii, a lil bit of Dad! Shawn for you guys as a lovely anon requested, hope you like it!
*Word Count: 2.7K+
*Warnings: cursing and way too much fluff.
*Posted: March 20th, 2020.
-*-
Shawn was the sweetest person you ever met and you knew that since the first look exchanged. And you swear that since you arrived at your sister’s house for your niece’s birthday party and both her and her younger brother came running to Shawn, who dropped everything he was holding to kneel down and hug the kids, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. Throughout the whole princess themed party he showed himself to be the best with kids one more time. And even tough you both knew you wanted kids, you haven’t talked about it properly and you’re too scared to bring that up for no reason, so you tried your best to let go of those thoughts and just ignore it.
But Shawn noticed there was something off since the beginning, being the caring and observant husband he was, he just knew something was wrong, and he would do anything to find that out. So when you two got back home and sat down on the couch to have dinner later that day, he patiently waited to see if you’d bring something up. He even ordered your favorite dish from your favorite restaurant, opened a great bottle of wine and yet nothing. So he just decided to ask you out when you were both casually cuddling while watching Grey’s Anatomy for the billionth time.
“Honey?”
“Hm?”
“Are you okay?”
“Me?! I’m great, why?” I asked finally looking at him only to see his features laced in concern.
“You just seemed off all day”
“You, there’s nothing wrong, I’m just thinking about... stuff”
“Which stuff?”
“Just stuff”
“Baby” he said holding both of my hands and bringing them both to his chest “you know you can talk to me about anything, right?” he asked and I just nodded “so tell me about what’s going on that pretty kind of yours”
“It’s just... some thoughts that are being more frequent on my mind lately... nothing really serious though”
“Okay... and what are they about?” he asked and I sighed, giving in.
“It’s just something I’ve always noticed and today was just so clear that I couldn’t help myself from wondering what would it be like if my thoughts actually became reality” I said and he nodded, still not getting the point “it’s just, seeing you with my nephews today just made me think what would it be like...”
“Like if we had kids?” he completed my sentence, finally realizing what I was trying to say.
“Yeah... I don’t know, I just... I’m so sure you’d be the best dad on the planet and I was just wondering what’d be like to have my own family, and I know we haven’t talked about it properly yet, and I don’t want to start it know, it was just something i was considering for the fu...”
“You don’t want it?” he asked face dropping.
“I mean... I do, just don’t know if I want it now... do you?”
“I mean yeah” he said hitting his bottom lip “I got back from tour a month ago, which means it’s okay if I decide to take a break now, and I’m 26, I think it’s a great time to consider it”
“Shawn, I don’t want you to do this just because I said I want a family, I didn’t mean now”
“I know, babygirl, but I meant now if you’re up to” he said smiling at me and kneeling on the couch.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked chuckling as he leaned slowly on my direction, making me lay back on the couch as he hovered over me “now now?”
“Why not? We’ve seen this episode a hundred times” he said running the tip of his nose along the expanse of my neck “it’s just you and me” he said as he started to place open mouthed kisses alongside my throat “and we can start trying” he said kissing my jaw softly “if you’re up to”
“I mean, I don’t mind trying” I said grinning at him as he smiled down at me.
“Good to know, and just for the record, I love you” he said finally closing the gap between our lips in a passionate kiss.
-*-
Almost two months after we started trying I noticed something was wrong. My period is late. It took me a while to notice, but as soon as realization hit me, I ran to a drugstore and bought a test to do it as soon as I could. So I got home with the test on my purse and went straight to our room, but one minute after, Shawn called me from the living room saying that he was home and that we needed to go since today we’re going to have lunch at his parents. I placed the box back in my bag, hoping he wouldn’t find it and got out, trying as best as I could to place a fake smile on my lips that he seemed to buy.
Forty minutes later I was being engulfed in hugs by the Mendes and dragged inside, making my heart feel so full of love for them. I helped Karen on the kitchen for a bit as Shawn complained he was starving and needed to taste everything, only for her to push him away from the food to stop him from eating anything before it was all on the table. I excused myself with the excuse that I had to check something on my phone work related, and thankfully, they didn’t seem to pay too much attention to it. So I grabbed my purse and ran upstairs without being noticed, quickly locking myself on the bathroom. It was simple, pee on the stick and wait five minutes to know if you have a baby in you or not. And even though we agreed we were going to try, I was almost shaking.
“Baby?” Shawn called from outside “you okay?”
“Yeah” I said trying to sound oh so cool.
“Are you sure? You seemed pretty worried earlier” He said and I just wanted to punch him for being too attentive and cute.
“Yeah, I just needed to get something done”
“On the bathroom? Oh shit, are you okay? Was it something you ate? Do you...”
“No! No! It’s not like that” I said opening the door “Come here and please be quiet”
“What’s going on, sweetheart?” He asked lowly as he got in the bathroom and I locked the door behind him.
“This is what’s going on” I said pointing to the test waiting on the sink “two minutes to go”
“Holy shit, baby”
“I know”
“But it’s okay, you know that, right? We agreed we would try and if it’s negative, it’s also okay, we just need to keep on trying” He said wrapping his arms around my waist loosely and I took the shot to lay my head on his chest.
“I know... I’m just anxious for some reason”
“I know, now I am too”
“I want it to be true” I mumbled against his chest and he chuckled.
“I do too, but it’s okay, we’ve been trying for a little bit more than a month now, it’s okay if it’s not”
“Yeah, you’re right... like always” I said and he chuckled, only to be silenced by my phone vibrating softly indicating the five minute wait was done “Fuck”
“It’s okay, babygirl” Shawn said taking a deep breath and kissing my forehead “should we take a look?”
“Yes” I said reluctantly pulling away, only to see two thin blue lines on the stick.
“Fuck” Shawn whispered beside me and second after I was engulfed in a bear crushing hug “oh my God, baby!”
“You’re going to be a dad” I mumbled as I nuzzled my face on his neck, wrapping my legs around his waist.
“I’m going to be a dad and you’re going to be a mom” he said with a trembling voice hugging me even tighter “holy shit, we’re fucking parents!”
“I love you so much, Shawn”
“I love you too, Y/N, I love you so fucking much”
“Language”
“Shit sorry, I gotta learn how to not curse again”
“It’s okay, we got time for that” I said as I felt happy tears forming in my eyes and I pulled back just slightly to be able to see his face, only to find tears streaming down his face “what’s wrong, bubs?”
“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just so fucking happy” he said before crashing our lips together “I love you, I love you, I love you”
“I love you too” I said kissing all over his face.
“Are we telling anyone?” he asked after we spent a little while just holding each other.
“You mean your parents?”
“Yep”
“I don’t know, shouldn’t I take a real test before that? Just in case this one is a false positive?”
“Oh, yeah, maybe we should wait”
“Okay, yeah, you’re probably right”
“Wanna go downstairs?”
“We have to” I said chuckling as he placed me down again.
“Okay, let’s go” He said discarding the test and going back downstairs with me.
“Everything okay?” Karen asked as we entered the living room again.
“Yeah, everything’s fine” Shawn said way to quickly, turning red in a second and making everyone laugh.
“You just can’t leave her alone, can you?” Manny asked giggling and Shawn shook his head.
“She’s too good” he said lacing our fingers together and placing a sweet kiss on my forehead.
“Okay, eternal honeymoon couple, can we eat?” Liyah questioned jokingly, which everyone agreed as we sat down.
“So, how’s work?” Manny asked as we were all served and already eating.
“Everything’s fine, a little rushed but that’s a good thing”
“Oh, that’s good, Shawn told me you two were planning on traveling on spring”
“Yeah, we were, we wanted to go to Spain”
“But I don’t think that’s happening, maybe next year”
“Oh, any special reason?” Karen asked and I placed my hand on Shawn’s thigh, which he quickly grabbed and laced our fingers together.
“No, just work stuff”
“Oh, can’t you take a break?”
“I’m actually planning on taking a bigger break to spend more time with my family”
“That’s nice, sweetie, but you can still travel with your wife”
“I know” he said kissing my cheek to distract his mom, and it worked.
“Would you like any wine, Y/N?”
“No, but thank you, Karen” I said smiling at her.
“She can’t drink, mom”
“Why?”
“She’s in a diet”
“A diet? Why? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine” I said giggling and squeezing Shawn’s hand lightly, and I could see from the corner of my eye him blushing.
“Really?”
“Yeah” I said looking at him and nodding, seeing his face lit up with his megawatt smile.
“It’s just that... you know... lately we’ve been trying to have one since a birthday party at her sister’s house, and we talked about it and...”
“Baby, you’re rambling and nothing you said made sense”
“Oh, sorry” he said blushing furiously and squeezing my hand softly “what I’m trying to say is that we’re pregnant, as in, she has a baby inside of her right now” Shawn finished his little speech and everyone just stood there looking at us in shock.
“I love you” I whispered loud enough just for him to listen “I know this is sudden but...”
“Oh my God, I’m going to be a grandmother!” Karen squealed on her seat “oh my God, darling, congratulations” She said getting up and hugging me as tightly as I could.
“Mum, please don’t hurt her” Shawn said giggling and she quickly wrapped him in her embrace as well.
“Oh my God, thank you so much” she mumbled between a soft sob “Oh my dear, thank you for bringing so much joy to our family”
“Congratulations” Manny said getting up to hug everyone with and uncontrollable smile on his face as his eyes were filled with tears.
“I’m going to be an aunt” Liyah said smiling and quickly joining the Mendes hug fest.
“When did you find out?” Karen asked as soon as everyone got back to their places, but the euphoria was still present.
“Upstairs, on my bathroom, twenty minutes ago” Shawn shot the answer as quickly as he could, a pink shade still evident on his fairly light skin.
“Oh, and you weren’t going to tell us?”
“We were, she just wanted to take another one to make sure”
“Oh, that’s sweet, do you need me to buy another one”
“I can go now” Shawn said practically bouncing on his seat.
“Maybe you should, then we would be able to listen to your wife’s voice” Karen scolded him making him blush even more, but still with a smile on her lips.
“I’m sorry, baby” he mumbled softly, laying his head on my shoulder.
“It’s okay, honey, it’s cute to see you so excited about it” I said kissing his head and threading my fingers on his hair at the nape of his neck.
“But maybe Shawn should really go buy another one if she wants to make sure” Manny said.
“Do you want me to?” he asked looking at me with his big doe-eyes.
“We can go later, baby, I’m almost one hundred percent sure, my period it’s pretty late”
“Okay” he said going back to his previous position laying on my shoulder, interlacing our hands on my lap.
“You two are way too cute for your own good” Liyah said mockingly, making Shawn blush even more.
“That’s good, it means they’re a great couple” Karen said smiling lovingly at her son and daughter in law, who were both lost on their own little world.
“And great parents” Manny said kissing his wife’s hand that he was secretly holding under the table.
-*-
We left his parents’ house in the middle of the afternoon so they could rest and we could come back to Toronto during day time without a reason to rush. As soon as we got home Shawn wanted cuddles and I wasn’t going to complain, so I let him drag me into our shared bedroom and place me on the bed, doing quick work on my clothes and shoes to have me in on of his shirts in no time. He did the same, only putting on a pair of sweaters hanging low on his hips, he flopped down on the bed beside lacing our fingers together.
“But baby, nine months is too long” Shawn whined for the hundredth time since we came back home from his parents.
“I know, bubba, but it’s necessary”
“I think it’s a girl” he said turning on his side to face me, placing his head on my stomach as he usually did when he wanted me to play with his hair, and so I did.
“It’s too soon to know, baby”
“I know... oh my God!” he said sitting up suddenly and placing his hands over my belly.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked grabbing his hands.
“Did I crush the baby bean?” he questioned and I couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled on my chest “Y/N, I’m dead serious”
“I know, Shawnie, it’s just that... it’s probably so tiny we can’t even see it properly, so no, you didn’t crush it, and even if it was like eight months old you couldn’t crush it just by laying your head on it, I swear”
“Okay” he said visibly relaxing and going back to his position, but this time, laying on my chest to start rubbing small patterns on my tummy softly as he hummed some random melody “Sweetheart?” he mumbled looking up at me with the softest honey eyes on the planet.
“Hm?”
“Thank you”
“For what?” I asked combing through his curls, seeing him leaning onto my touch.
“For giving me baby bean and being the best person I could’ve ever asked for”
“You don’t have to thank me for anything, bubba, and I’m also grateful for having you in my life” I said placing a quick peck on his rosy lips “I love you so much”
“I love you two” he said smiling softly at me and closing his eyes as I kept on playing with his hair.
It was right there that I knew I had everything I ever wanted.
-*-
*Hey, please check out my new soulmate series! You can find it here.
*Please reblog and like this post if you liked it so I'll know, your feedback is important to me!
*I'm sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.
*Please do not repost this without giving me the credits, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!
*Hope you guys enjoyed it!
*xoxo
- 🌙
#shawn mendes#shawn peter raul mendes#sm#shawn#shawn mendes fluff#shawn fluff#dad shawn#dad au#shawn au#shawn mendes au#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes fanfiction#shawn mendes fanfic#shawn mendes fan fic#shawn mendes fic#shawn mendes x you#shawn mendes x reader#shawn mendes x y/n#shawn mendes oneshot#onesie#shawn imagine#shawn fanfiction#shawn fanfic#shawn fan fic#shawn fic#shawn x you#shawn x reader#shawn x y/n#shawn oneshot#pregnancy
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It’s The Avengers (03x04)
Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)
Season 3 Episode 04: She Who Seduces
Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.
Warnings: wow! lots of stuff you guys want but at the same time aren’t gettin’ any
Word Count: It’s a weird feeling to be tagged as an essential worker, but not be made to feel like an essential worker? I mean I feel I’m not one. But if I am being forced out of my house, being exposed to the possibility of catching the virus, being ignored by corporate, media and the govt as humans, I have to wonder why am I even sitting here. I get the doctors and nurses and no amount of verbal praise can even come close to what they are doing right now. But if me and my colleagues have be ignored and made to work at large, I’d rather we do it from the safety of our homes, man. (Just when I had started to get better on my own)
MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)
The camera focused on a blue egg the colour of sky lying in the dirt, zooming in on it a little before jolting back as the egg moved. The camera did the entire cycle once again before a fluff hand tried to smack that egg like a cat curious about this unexplained cute atrocity in front of them.
“Lulu!” a voice called from somewhere in the distance in the midst of a mixture of all sorts of noises- like the ones experienced in your neighbourhood local market. But the camera did not budge till it recorded the sky egg crack bit by bit before a pair of blue eyes popped out on a little white head. Those gorgeous cute eyes looked at the camera, blinking out of coordination before looking at the little golden fuzzy arm slowly coming towards its head. Blinking again- this time with curiosity- the blue eyes froze on that snail-paced extension of a husk behind the camera before a tiny void opened under those innocent eyes to take that husk arm into it and bite down with an audible crunch.
Javier’s camera swiftly turned to Lulu’s cries, finding him far behind in the crowd of aliens trying to knock something away from his arm.
The little husk- screaming and howling like a little dog in pain- was rescued by pale fingers catching hold of the round head that was too stubborn to let go. A little squeeze and those surprisingly vicious teeth let go, breaking the remnants of the eggshells to let out white paws attached to the tiniest legs.
“Scram,” Loki ordered the white alien- who ran away as quickly as possible- before turning towards Lulu, “what were you trying to do with that beast? Have it for breakfast?”
Lulu chirped, nodding before slumping a little into the ground.
“Yeah, good luck with that while you’re in Y/N’s care,” he stated, getting and turning to look at the judgmental zoom Javier’s camera threw on him. “What. You want her to keep another alien as a pet?”
“Guys, I found a restaurant,” your voice called out of the frame, making Loki look in your direction, “OH MY GOD YOU GUYS! THERE ARE REAL LIFE SAILOR SOLDIERS IN HERE!!”
Loki looked at the camera, ageing a thousand years more. “Please tell me it’s not one of those mangas she keeps talking about.”
When Javier spelt it out for him from behind the camera, Loki’s eyes closed and he let out the heaviest sigh he possibly could
Loki: *with a very serious face* the prospect of me having died before being teleported here does not seem so bad. It looks fantastic now. *camera zooms in on his face while you scream in delight in the background, “I’m sitting with real-life Sailor Soldiers!! Aaaahhhh-”*
The Lounge
"Where's Stark?"
One camera panned in on Bucky's face as he came out of the dorm with bed hair while the other looked at a mildly surprised Scott drinking orange juice from a crystal wine glass.
"He said he'll come in twenty. He's gone for his weekly therapy session," Scott replied, swirling the juice in his glass with his pinky out while observing Bucky from head to toe. "You should try that sometimes. It's really good."
Bucky sat down on the sofa with a stare filled with judgemental questions in Scott's direction. "Me? Therapy? That stuff's for looneys."
Scott furrowed his brows at Bucky, pause all moments for a second before bringing the glass ever so slowly to his lips. "Okay, Boomer."
"What?"
"What?"
Bucky: I don’t need therapy. *mocks a laugh* Shuri made me better than ever in Wakanda. All I need is exercise, healthy food in my stomach and a good amount of sleep. *nods in satisfaction*
*camera zooms out to reveal Scott sitting next to him, shaking his head lightly in mild disbelief*
Scott: *softly* Now I know where that attitude in this present world comes from.
Bucky: *turns to look at Scott* *shifts uncomfortably in his seat while shifting his gaze between the camera and Scott*
*silence erodes the room before Bucky finally breaks*
Why are you looking at me like that? I haven’t killed anyone recently.
Scott: *furrows brows in confusion* what?
Bucky: *stops mid-way and looks away from Scott towards the camera* Nothing
Scott: I never said about killing anyone. *pitch grows higher with every word* Bucky, I never said about killing anyone. Bucky, did you kill someone?
Bucky: *shakes his head with disinterest* mm-mm.
Scott: *mouth opens wide in disbelief* *hands go into his hair on his head* OH MY GOD YOU KILLED SOMEONE!!!
Bucky: NO! I DID N-
Fifteen Minutes Later
Bucky: *softly* So I’ve decided after...a lot of thinking that I should go talk to a...a therapist.
Scott: *nods and smiles at the camera like an encouraging wife*
Bucky: *gives a forceful smile*
Scott: And I too will be going to see a therapist.
Bucky: *nods* *presses lips*
Bucky and Scott: *look at the door, forcing the camera to turn and land on a somewhat irritated Natasha glaring at them from outside the door with arms crossed across her chest*
Back In The Lounge
Wanda walked into the living room space where Bruce was working on some calculations on his laptop while another camera discreetly caught Bucky and Scott giving each other the stink eye.
"You should take a break, Bruce," Wanda stressed while placing a mug of hot tea on his table. Bruce half-looked at the mug before turning back to it, pulling it close and smelling it. "Since when do we drink so much tea?"
Wanda shrugged. "Since Loki and Y/N came into our lives?" She was unsure but that's what all things pointed at. Bruce went with it too.
He rubbed his eyes and shut his laptop. "Yeah, I guess we can take a break." He yawns and gets up. "Loki seems to have everything under control anyway, so…"
Wanda seemed to wince very quietly, her expressions showing no surety in Bruce’s words; or a reflection of an upset stomach.
“I mean, Y/N is being a levelheaded person too. It’s not all Loki.”
A scoff came from the other side of the room where Bucky stood, all eyes and camera turning to stare at him, his crumbling confident posture trying to display reason. “I mean...she hasn’t been to space before. She does not know what’s out there as well as Loki.”
“So, what you are trying to say is she won’t be able to survive if it wasn’t for Loki?” Scott stretched his words to make sure Bucky heard every single one of them.
“Of course she wouldn’t survive out there. She is a kid.” A very sweaty Clint walked into the lounge and went straight for the orange juice inside the fridge. The camera caught the muted gasps coming out of Wanda and Scott for the men in the room not having much faith in your survival skills.
“So are you,” a very sweaty Natasha acknowledged Clint’s words as she grabbed the juice bottle from Clint’s hand, “but you survived the Infinity War without your family. Oh, wait. You didn’t really survive. You just turned into a whiny little bitch and started killing the first thing you saw.”
Wanda looked at the camera with her eyes wide and her lips pressed tightly to stop her from screaming at the burn. Bruce, on the other hand, whispered ‘oh shit’ and tried to disappear in his mug. Scott sipped his juice like the best tea he had been served in a long time, all the while smirking like a content goofball.
“That was so below the belt, Nat,” Clint protested, his hands resting on his hips as he watched her gulp down half the bottle of juice before handing Clint the rest and smacking her lips in satisfaction. “Y/N is in outer space with a frost giant. And so is Javier. But I don’t hear any of you mention him in this conversation when it comes to surviving on one's own?”
“Javier is a-”
Bruce paused before finishing his sentence as he realised the error of his words right before they came out. “Nice guy?” He finally breathed out, his lungs not being able to take the torture. “He is also in danger, of course. That is a given. I was in danger too when I was stuck in space. Thor can vouch for me.”
Thor: *standing on a cliff while the Asgardians celebrate in the background around a fire* *yells over the sound of waves crashing in on the rocks below* BRUCE WAS SO MUCH FUN ON SAKAAR! WE HAD DRINKS AND DANCES AND SO MANY GIRLS OGLING AT HIM! OF COURSE, THAT WAS WHEN HE WAS THE HULK. WHEN HE WAS BACK TO BEING A BORING OLD SCIENTIST ALL HE SPOKE WAS OF HIS PHDS AND HIS HOW MUCH THIS ONE GUY HERE WAS ALL OVER HIM! I THINK HE LIKED IT. HIM! HE LIKED HIM. IF THIS IDIOT WASN’T STUCK ON BORING OLD NAT THEN I WAS BETTING ON THEM DOIN’ IT. YEAH!!! *pauses and smiles his widest smile* *blinks into an invisible void in the distance* PLEASE DON’T TELL NATASHA I CALLED HER BORING. OR-OR OLD.
Bruce gulped where he sat. “Maybe he can’t vouch for me. He was too trippy throughout his trip to space anyways. Maybe the lack of oxygen did it to him.”
The silence grew uncomfortable by the second as he exchanged a look with a camera while Clint just shook his head and let out a defeated “dude”.
Space Place
“Hey, where’s Loki?” you asked Javier while Lulu climbed up the bar stool in the small inn right by the farmer’s market that you had just passed. “Right behind you?” you looked past Javier before walking towards the way he had come- “but he’s not he-”
Your words were cut short by something you saw from the window, forcing the camera to shift on seeing the concern cloud your face towards the scene outside the window. Outside, four buffed up aliens stood surrounding Loki while he raised his hands a little like a white flag.
Instinct took over and you stepped out of the inn but stopped on the porch as Loki yelled, “No! Do not come any closer!” without making eye contact.
One of the buff guys did step closer, his face breathing down right into Loki’s. And Loki? He chuckled at the alien. “One more inch and I think we’ll be kissing, Kronk.”
Kronk the big boulder looking guy hissed at him. “You stepped on the wrong planet, Silvertongue. Hudon wants your head or your body. And he will make sure you pay up your dues.”
Loki tried to increase the distance between him and Kronk, moving back a little; enough to stop smelling his breath on him. “Wow. Looks like someone had a lot of raw Siluji fish today. Hehe. And I thought Hudon was on Myscul. Anyways. How about I talk to Hudon and offer him something that he cannot refuse. And both of us can get back to our respective business.” No matter how much he smiled, Loki did not seem to be getting through that guy.
“Hudon does not want to talk to you. He knows how you work, trickster. He will cut his ears off before he listens to you.”
Loki wanted to contradict the guy but shut his lips to be on the better side of this guy. “Okay. Fine. I will meet him in two hours then? I’ll even bring some good sushi for you.” Loki started to walk away from them when one of Kronk’s men caught hold of him and slapped black handcuffs onto his wrists.
“You are coming with us, traitor.”
The camera recorded Loki being dragged away in broad daylight while no one even batted an eye at the incident. You walked to the end of the porch- the end close enough to watch Loki being taken away as his brows reflected concern in your direction before disappearing behind the nearest stall of berries.
“Javi,” you uttered softly, your eyes still looking for Loki, “I think Loki’s in trouble. Oh, God. I think we are in trouble.”
The Foreigner’s Inn
The camera settled on the window sill and a pair of hands moved away to reveal Javier sitting back in the seat of the corner table far away from the bustle of the inn. You sat opposite him, nervously biting your nails and moving your leg under the table while Lulu sat right in the middle, facing the camera, drinking some green concoction you bought him with a few talons from the ones Loki handed you once you had landed on this planet. Javier’s blue eyes scrutinised the place before coming back to you. He tapped your hand for attention before signing something.
“Yeah,” you acknowledged with a nod, “a plan. We need to come up with a plan to save Loki. But we don’t know where they took him. Oh, shi-should we have followed them? Ah fuck! Now, we won’t know where they went. Maybe we should ask someone. But we don’t know what kind of guy Hudon is. What if he’s got eyes everywhere? Then if we ask someone about him, we’ll be the ones walking right into the lion’s den. And we’ll be the ones who will need saving. Okay okay okay okay okay okay. Right right right right right right.”
Javier knocked the table to get your spiralling conscience back to him, directing you to stop, breathe in and breathe out. And you did, pausing for a moment before things got worse in your head. “Right. We need to think this with a clear head. Um...what would Mr Stark tell us to do.”
With your back straight you looked right at Javier. “He would say stop, take a breather. Make sure that you are safe first. It’s fine to worry about Loki but he is a great strategist. He will definitely find a way out of trouble. But that does not mean we do not go look for him. No one gets left behind. Not even that ugly gourd. Help is always around. All you need to do is ask. And never forget that I love you no matter what. Now go save that son of a bitch.”
Javier stared blankly for a second before breaking into silent applause. “So, we need to find something or someone that can give information about that guy holding Loki. Where can we get someone who would know that and help us, complete strangers?”
Lulu, who, all this time had been swinging his bushy bottom from the chair, suddenly stopped, put the drink from his hand on the table and pressed his belly with a click.
[Hippie Sabotage’s Righteous starts playing]
Lulu got down from his chair and moved towards the door of the inn. You called after him but he did not stop and so you and Javier followed with the camera.
Lulu’s camera took in the boots stepping into the inn first. Then the ripped pants, going up to the open shirt revealing perfect abs. Then came those familiar faces carrying their smouldering looks with them still.
Javi’s camera recorded your expression of surprise followed by a hint of something schemy going on in those eyes. A smile was all that you gave them though. “Never thought I would see you guys again.”
The camera swerved to the rainbow k-pop donning shades that were being taken off as slowly as possible. White turned to look at you, the smoulder still holding strong on his face. “And leave you to fend for yourself, princess. Not on my watch.”
You: Yeah *mildly disgusted* I forgot how clingy he is.
“I need your help.”
Sky jumped where he stood and clapped his hand before slipping behind Mauve and blushing.
“Loki’s in trouble. I need to help him es-”
“Say no more,” White whispered while bringing his pale finger on your lips, which you smacked away. “But before we go on the adventure together, my beautiful princess, I urge you to imagine going on another adventure. Just you. And me. And planets with no one but us.”
“And me,” came a faint whisper from behind Mauve.
“Oh, my G-is there anyone of you who is a normal one?”
“I don’t know about normal,” Green came forward and tucked at the edges of his shirt, “but I can take him away from you and help you save your…”
You waited for him to finish his sentence.
“Boyfriend?” he sounded as unsure as the uneasy lines on his face. Before you could say anything to contradict him, White gasped and Sky whimpered. “Boyfriend! He is your boyfriend?! Oh my stars,” White cried, “what are the odds that fate made us meet when you were already someone else’s.”
You stood there, blinking, questioning whether it would be a good decision to tell him the truth. “So, because I have a boyfriend, you will stop pursuing me?”
Sky sniffled, White sighed in defeat and Orange clicked his tongue at the lost opportunity. “I am a creature of code. I would never even think pretty thoughts about someone else’s queen,” he assured with a weak vibration in his voice.
“Cool,” you exclaimed, “Loki is my boyfriend! And I am Y/N, hi. And you are…”
“Call us whatever you like,” Green replied with a smile. “We don’t have names. Just voice notes as a way of identification. Now, let’s get to work.”
“Oh my God,” Mauve groaned audibly and rolled his eyes under those shades, “finally. She definitely needs that work.”
You and the cameras looked at you, wondering what was so wrong to have blunt judgement thrown at you out of nowhere. “Why would I need work?”
Green gestured to you to move up the stairs of the inn with them. “You mentioned Loki being captured by the alien named Hudon.”
“Never mentioned that.”
“He is a classic brute,” Green continued, like he never heard you, as you walked next to him while Lulu got himself lifted into your arms, “who owns all the brothels of this base. He trades in creatures who can exploit their own bodies for what he pays them. The fact that Loki was taken away by his men points at the possibility of trade between them gone wrong.”
You gasped at the sudden revelation that was dawning upon you. “Wait. So, that could mean he wants payback from Loki. Does he want payback in...in cash or...in kind?”
Green’s eyes reflected sympathy for your situation. “Let’s hope, for you and Loki, that it is cash.”
“But wouldn’t that mean he has to sell his body?!”
Green nodded. Lulu’s camera caught White murmuring to Violet, “do you think that furry thing is their child?”
“We have something that might help you. And for that-” he stopped in front of a door of one room at the far end of the corridor, twisting the knob and clicking it open for you to enter- “we would need your help.”
“Okay,” you nodded before confusion took over your face and Lulu purred while rubbing against your shoulder, “what kind of help.”
Mauve sighed loudly, pushing you away- gently- to enter the room first. “We would need your help to do something about the drab that you humans call fashion on your planet,” he nearly puked while looking at your clothes.
“Hey! This shirt is really comfortable. So are these leggings and boots!”
Mauve screwed his face at you. “Oh, they better be! Because that hue-combination is a disaster,” he stressed.
You felt your head go back a little. "Just because I don't have much interest in fashion, I'm gonna let that pass. But I am pretty sure the Queer Eye won't stand for that insult."
"The Queer Eye would've made you into a walking weapon had they been in your vicinity darling," Mauve mentioned matter-of-factly and walked towards the lone dresser and dragged out the chair before tapping it. "Now sit your ass down and let me show you how it's done while Mr Green fills you in about everything."
You looked at Green. He nodded jovially. White on the other hand went and plopped on the bed. Violet went and splayed himself on the sofa, Red went for the window sill to go and brood there. Sky took the foot of the bed and made himself comfortable to look at you for the next two hours. Orange took off his shirt and trousers and went into the bathroom.
"Hey, Lulu," White called out from the bed, "put on a sexy getting-ready song."
Lulu got up on the dresser and pressed his stomach to play Rachel Bloom’s Sexy Getting Ready Song.
“Wait. Hold on,” you called out, making Mauve and Green stop in their tracks and Lulu pausing the song, “I...I gotta poop. Please get that orange pervert out of there?”
Hudon’s Whorehouse
A hush, beginning from the entrance, fell as the eyes followed the figure. A sweet yet strong melody seemed to follow that black-clad creature, stirring both fear and excitement in the witnesses; who completely missed the two companions walking on its either side.
Never feel too good in crowds
With folks around when they're playing
The clack of those pointed heels seemed to be a pound at the doors of the devil himself and every minion that walked in the path she walked, only stopping in the room fit for a queen; nothing less. A seat was taken on the gold-framed sofa, legs spread in comfort and defiance of the one in charge, arms rested on the armrest while popping a grape in the mouth with lips painted red as the blood that flowed in her veins.
A creature with the body of a human- except for the extra pair of hands- and the head of a furry with antlers entered the hall, sitting opposite you. “Welcome to the house of Hudon!” he greeted, the gold on his antlers jingling like bells on Rudolph, “the finest whorehouse you would find in this system.”
“I will evaluate the ‘fine’ myself, Hudon,” you stated quite indifferently, your attention taken by a golden strawberry resting in your fingers, “how old is this rotten blasphemy.”
The anthems of rape, culture loud
Crude and proud creatures baying
It was easy to get that accent on your tongue. The tone was smooth enough to show not much effort was being put to talk while the words were spoken like a dagger stabbing the listener with every breath.”
Hudon directed his men to take those old fruits away and to replace them with new ones. But you had already lost interest in them. Sitting straight up, you let your arms go back on the headrest, your suit jacket revealing the skin underneath, the acne on your chest from the sweat and dust revealing itself in full glory. Hudon nearly feels himself blackout with the sheer audacity of a human woman walk into his house and sit there as a client while making him- the one who runs the sex business- make him feel things that were quite transparent in his gaze.
All I've ever done is hide
From our times when you're near me
“Here I am, out on a vacation from my boring home, looking for some fun and adventure when someone suggests to me your name and business,” you mutter loud enough for him to hear. “Hudon the hoarder. The one who has everything you can ask for. Anything out of your fantasy. You name it, he has it for you.”
“I do,” he agreed with a smile, interrupted just as he is about to start listing his merchandise.
“Oh, but I don’t think you do, Hudon.” You leaned forward, your legs still spread apart in those black trousers, your frame bent enough to reveal more and still reveal nothing at all, making Hudon’s eyes linger there far longer than he expected them to. “I don’t think you do. What could you possibly have that could seem human enough for my taste and yet not human at all, Hudon? What could you possibly have that could meet my demands, unlike the men on my planet? One who is not meant to be ruled and yet-” your voice turned to a whisper, and Hudon’s eyes were stuck on the hypnotising moment of your lips under that netted veil covering your smokey eyes- “he bends under my commands like a good dog because he knows he will get a treat if he behaves.”
Hudon gulped and blinked.
Honey, when you kill the lights and kiss my eyes
I feel like a person for a moment of my life
“I am not here to have some cheap fun, Hudon. Nor some sloppy seconds. I want a challenge that I can smother between my thighs, making him question how he ended up there, under me. And then make him question how he can get under me, again.”
A silence proceeded your laced words. A long lingering silence which would have stretched even more had one of Hudon’s men not brought that shook fur-face back to the present.
“I I I I I think I have the perfect specimen for you, miss…”
“Lady. Lady...Morticia Addams,” you declared, blinking at Javier’s camera.
You: *cringing* I did not think this part through. But I did come up with a nice personality? *does a weak thumbs up*
“I will send for him immediately, Lady Morticia,” Hudon declared, getting and taking a bow, “and if he is not able to satisfy you, I will humbly present myself to you as a sacrifice.”
You: *deadpan* Pervert.
“If your specimen does not satisfy me, then mark my words, Hudon, you won’t find any piece of him in your excuse of a brothel.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with a weak voice, walking out and scolding his guards to get him ‘Silvertongue’.
You noticed the two guards still in the hall by the door, looking at you and your companions. Javier moved from his place by the fireplace to the door, to let the tiny camera- courtesy of the rainbow k-pop- strapped to his chest take in the patient steps of the man of the hour; at the same time, directing with his hands to Lulu to resume his score.
But you don't know what hell you put me through
To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you
Loki, bare-chested and in chains, was walked towards your hall with four guards- two on front and two on back. This was the first time any of the cameras had seen so much of his bare skin. Neither had they seen so many muscles on that body that seemed so lean on the outside with the clothes on. The raven hairs snaked around his shoulders while his eyes were set at the goal in front of him: you. And if you did not know any better you would have thought those peach curtains were flying right and left to get a one-touch, one whiff of that God.
To feel your weight in arms I'd never use
It's the god that heroin prays to
You almost choked on the juice you were offered on seeing Loki like that- in just his pants. Like a healthy supermodel straight out of a pin-up hidden in your childhood drawer. Quickly recovering and changing into the persona created for this place you leaned back on the sofa to admire the view when all five men came to a halt in front of you.
It feels good, girl, it feels good
It feels good, girl, it feels good
“Hm,” you muttered, your eyes going up and down an apparently tight-jawed Loki, “decent. Where did you catch this fish?”
“Caught him fresh in the market today,” Hudon’s henchman answered, surprisingly in an Australian accent, “owed our master for quite some time. Will finally pay his debts now.”
It feels good, girl, it feels good
Oh, to be alone with you
The laugh that came out of the prude was murky. You got up and nonchalantly waved your hand to make the guards stand away from the merch, letting you get a good three-sixty view. Loki could feel your eyes on him even when you stood behind him, carefully studying these marks on an otherwise flawless skin that ran all over his back and some did on arms, right down his wrist.
A wave of emotion washed over you on seeing them, which you hastily veiled for the sharp eyes lurking in the background. Clearing your throat, you took out your silver hair stick from the bun at the back and walked to face the frost giant.
There are questions I can't ask
Now, at last, the worst is over
“Sit,” you commanded.
Loki’s eyes grew dark. The camera recorded the silent change of roles for a quick moment before Loki finally obeyed, getting down on his knees.
See the way you hold yourself
Reel against your body's borders
You took a step to his side before looking at the guards still standing there. “What. You want in on the show as well?” Your raised-up brow was judging them hard at this moment.
The guards stood there looking at each other before one of them finally spilt. “We are not allowed to leave him alone with you till you sign the contract and make the payment.”
“Hm. Well, if that is the case-” you took another step to stand right behind Loki- “I will inspect this...merchandise before I make the payment.”
I know that you hate this place
Not a trace of me would argue
The hair stick in your hand made its first contact with the bare skin on Loki’s back, promptly making his muscles move underneath that pale skin. A smile found its way to your lips. “Sensitive to touch, I see. I prefer virgin skin.” You dragged stick all the way from one end of those shoulder scales in the back to the other, taking light steps to move towards the front.
The camera zoomed in on the shadow of something brewing inside Loki’s eyes while his lips stretched ever so slightly with a thought only he knew. The stick came to the collar bone, travelling up his neck to land right below his chin, lifting it up to watch your tongue in between your teeth, peeking out for a look.
Honey, we should run away, oh, someday
Our baby and her momma
And the damaged love she made
“Say, boy,” you asked softly, letting the stick dig into that chin to raise it up further, “what does that mouth do.”
A chuckle rose in Loki’s chest and burst out to close his eyes before they could look at you in a new light. “They do things you wouldn’t want to know.”
But I don't know what else that I would do
Than try to kiss the skin that crawls from you
Questioning- or pretending to question- his audacity you responded with a sly ‘uh-huh’ before getting down on one knee, letting both your arms rest on the other. “Well, it better-” your voice grew duskier by the minute while that thin stick landed on his lips, circling them- “do things unspeakable. Otherwise-” you gently pushed the stick in his mouth, and he took it in, wrapping his tongue around it- “what is the point of that pretty pretty mouth.”
Then feel your weight in arms I'd never use
It's the god that heroin prays to
Javier could not help but record the drooling and uncomfortable faces of the guards standing by the door, half of them looking at each other, other half stuck on the hypnotic movements happening between the two of you; all of them standing with their hands hiding their bulges in those leather pants.
It feels good, girl, it feels good
“That tongue better work like it is the only thing that can save your life, pretty boy.” The low pitch of your voice was drowning the whole room. Your other knee too went down, allowing them to touch his as you sat down, your back arched and your chest moving closer to his. “It better work fast because I don’t like being made to wait. But it better not rush and ruin it for me either.”
It feels good, girl, it feels good
The stick was still in his mouth with Loki’s lips sucking it good when he looked up at you and gave you a judgmental glare. With a gentle tug to the stick from his mouth, you took it away, down the trail it came from, down the chest, the perfect line between his abs and then somewhere further down where the guards could not see; but that did not mean they could not imagine.
It feels good, girl, it feels good
“Now, let’s see how good your hands work,” you ordered more than questioned, turning to Javier and nodding.
Javier nodded back and Lulu’s camera recorded him walking to the door to close and bolt it. The guards could not suppress their smiles, delighted at the thoughts of what was about to go down.
“You,” you pointed at Hudon’s henchman, gesturing to him to come close, “I want you to help me with these.”
It feels good, girl, it feels good
More than eager to ‘help’ you, he skipped to where you now stood and Loki was still on his knees. “Yes. W-what can I help you with, my lady?”
Oh, to be alone with you
Your hands went down your shirt, into your bra and out came four silver balls the size of peas. “Are you done?”
It feels good, girl, it feels good
The henchman did not understand the question. Then came a click from below and Loki’s voice yelled, “NOW!”
It feels good, girl, it feels good
Oh, to be alone with you
A lot of things happened at the same time. Loki stabbed the man right in his calves while you threw those peas on the air; at the same time you and Javier ducked down to let those peas be attracted to the nearest form of flesh in their linear way, sticking to them to shock the living lights till they could see more galaxies in their vision.
The henchman yelled in pain, down on his knee, which Loki took advantage of and stabbed him in his shoulder before wrapping his arm around his windpipe long enough to make him lose consciousness.
You grabbed the other pin from your hair and with its pointy end pointed at the men still struggling with the aftermath of the shock, you stood in defence. “Everyone okay?”
The guards groaned. “I meant everyone I care about okay?”
Javier nodded and Lulu chirped, jumping onto your shoulder. You turned to Loki. “You okay?”
Loki nodded, grabbing the henchman’s gun and tucking it in his pants. “Oh, here.” Loki looked at you unbuttoning your suit jacket. “Woah, what are you-” and stopped when he saw a vest peeking from underneath as the shirt was thrown in his direction. “I am almost jealous of the endless choices of these for women here. Does it fit you?”
“It’s quite loose,” Loki absentmindedly responded while buttoning up, not comprehending that disappointed stare till it was too late. “I meant...it’s...how did you even get all of this stuff?”
“Ah, changing the topic, typical,” you muttered while dragging the guards behind the sofa, “I have friends besides you.”
The suspicion in Loki’s eyes suddenly changed to shock. “What are you doing with them?! I told you to stay away from those...those...Hardy-pop spawns; whatever you called them.”
“A, you never said that. B, I had to do something to help you out. C, get us out of here!”
Loki looked at you, about to speak something when he stopped, the camera panning in to watch the surprise colour his face. “You didn’t plan an escape.”
“Oh, no. I was thinking I should get into the prostitution business myself considering what a fine human specimen I am.”
Loki rolled his eyes and smacked the recuperating guard back into the ground before gesturing Javier to follow him out the door.
“I was also thinking how great it would be to settle down here because all I ever wanted was to live in an alien whorehouse. I mean, Silvertongue what? God of Mischief, who?”
“Fine! We get it,” Loki called out, leading you all straight down the corridor, “though you would have fit perfectly here.”
“Excuse me!”
“Oh I saw that look in your eyes!” Loki spat, “you played the character like it’s in your blood.” Loki pondered walking straight, “Well, Stark’s involved. So wanting to control naturally comes in your blood. But playing a full-blown Dominatrix?” Loki chuckled. “You feisty little witch.”
You pouted at his comment. “A Dominatrix! Coming from the one who used his tongue like a fucking lock pick machine to shape that metal thing into the exact pattern that could open your cuffs,” you uttered under your breath while trying to keep up with him till you ran smack into his back.
The door to the exit was closed as guards surrounded the reception from all four sides, cornering the four of you in the middle.
Lulu wrapped his fluffy arms around your neck, holding tight while his camera took in Hudon’s figure entering right where you had walked through. “I cannot believe I was played by a human,” he hissed.
“Wasn’t that hard, really. It’s like I opened my legs and boom! You were open for business,” you shrugged while Loki smacked your arm to shut you up.
“Guards!” Hudon shouted, “cuff them and throw them in the dungeons!”
Before the guards could take a step towards you all, you found yourself screaming, “wait!”
“I almost forgot,” you added, patting your vest and then your pants to find a little black box, “I was told to give this to you with the message ‘your ex says hi’.”
Hudon looked at the box placed in his hand. Javier’s camera captured you putting your fingers over Loki’s hand and dragging your index down towards the ground. Loki gave you a silent look before tangling his fingers in yours, moving Javier right behind him.
“Lulu,” you whispered discreetly, “you know what comes next right?”
Lulu purred a little before shifting to your back, his arms still secure around your neck. All eyes watched as a tweet rose from the box, increasing in pitch. And just like that it dropped in silence, the code for you four to duck down.
Loki was already shielding you with his body, his arm wrapped around you when the flash came and with it a crash. Hudon was enclosed in what looked like lit up ropes sparkling with electricity while the Hardy boys entered from the roof on ropes as smoothly as always.
“Your ex also said ‘time to die motherfucker’,” Mauve declared before electrocuting the furry.
“Seven years, Mauve,” Violet stressed with a shaking head, “it’s been seven years. Let it go.”
Night Time at the Inn
Javier’s camera rested on the platform outside in the balcony that sat atop the inn to the view of the city. Javier himself was busy with the little yet powerful cameras in the shape of silver flies Violet was showing from his own collection. Lulu ran about chasing fireflies that glowed in multiple colours around him. A few even came and sat down on his fur, making him pause anything and everything he was doing so as not to scare them.
You walked in from the other room, showered and shampooed, in your old clothes cleaned and dried, throwing a quick glance at the surroundings before going straight for the figure sitting outside on the cemented boundary of the balcony looking down at the soft bustle and glow of this little city.
The platform was wide enough for two people but you still stood leaning on the door and knocked on the glass first. “Mind if I join you?”
Loki scooched over to the other side to make room for you. You got up and slid your butt and legs up, a lungful of the foreign air bringing with it the smell of all that was cooking in the streets. “Hmm, smells heavenly,” you hummed, letting your headrest on the brick wall behind.
When your senses had absorbed all there was to the night, you finally found the courage to speak.
[Lulu, still as a cat, clicks his belly to play Sweater Weather (feat. Fruitypoppin x Koven Wei]
“How are you doing?”
Loki’s head turned to look at you, his fingers still moving around the bracelets that did not let him use his full potential.
You shifted where you sat, scratching some itch in your head. “I mean, you okay? Like being forced into sex trafficking can leave a deeply rooted trauma if not addressed in time.”
Loki smiled and looked down at the bracelet. “I appreciate your concern. But I am fine. I have had worse”
Your lips parted in a gasp that was controlled in time. “...okay. Okay.”
His green eyes reflected the lights in a mellow hue under the brilliant duvet of stars above you. His stare had a pinch of something soft as he continued to look at you. “I also appreciate-” he shifted his glance to his arms right when you turned to look at him, adjusting the hem of the sleeve of his black t-shirt- “you not asking me about the scars.”
There was a shift of emotion visible in your eyes. A smile forced upon your lips that those y/e/c pupils betrayed. The unconscious movement of your fingers over your own arm, the repeated motion of them over the same place as if trying to soothe some underlying ache; none of it went unnoticed by those sharp smaragdines. Neither did the cage you tried to make around your waist, wrapping your arms around it, trying to block some invisible evil. “No problem-” you blinked and one of those flies recording you two zoomed in enough to see moisture gathering on the edges of your eyelids- “just know that whenever you are ready to talk, I will be there for you.”
Your smile widened, using your usual trick of letting your eyes close to hide that moisture, even adding in a chuckle here and there.
Loki had to take in a whole lot of air to bring the words out of him. “And I will be there when you need to talk about it too.”
The smile was gone. Knees were drawn closer to your chest. “Yeah, that might take ages,” you muttered as you rested your head on your knees.
“Good thing that I’m immortal then?” And the chuckle came back, bringing the stress in Loki’s shoulders down a little.
“What did you do to Hudon anyway? Why was he so pissed at you to force you to be one of his prostitutes?”
Loki groaned and let his head fall back. “I let all of his unwilling workers escape.”
You raised your brows in praise.
“While tricking him into thinking I was in love with him.”
And your jaw drops. “WHAT?!” you nearly screeched while Loki tried to shush you. “You...what?! Why??”
“Well, he comes from an orthodox planet that did not stand for the choices in the life partners he wanted. Which is why he ran away and opened brothels with no restrictions. I took...advantage of that knowledge to use him and run. From...my torturers.”
Loki’s eyes went to his arms. So did yours. “And in doing so I broke the heart of a man who was into bad trades. So I am the lesser evil here, for your information,” he recovered.
“Yeah, freeing sex slaves and breaking a stone-cold bitch’s heart isn’t as much as evil as it is a ‘making the world a better place’, dude.” You acknowledged. “And I hope your torturers are dead otherwise they’re gonna catch these hands.”
A chortle left Loki, scaring the Lulu and making all the flies fly away from what had looked like a fluffy Christmas tree. “What, I’m serious.” A punch landed in his gut to show just how serious you were.
“Right. How do you think you will defeat them? Using black latex clothing, handcuffs, a whip and anal beads?”
You looked at the flying cam with a twist in your jaw while Loki laughed in the background.
You: I am too pissed right now to even question how he knows about anal beads.
“Haa haa. You laugh at the idea while I will actually be making them beg for mercy in leather bonds and chains,” you announced, angry at the God for losing it at the thought of you in that role again. “And I’ll definitely be doing a better job of a Dominatrix than you ever did.”
“You take that back.”
Lulu went around chasing the fireflies again while the two of you teased each other under the starry night far away from home, for the very first time not worrying about your way back, the music adding to the soothing colours brewing in the night.
In the Darkness of The Lounge
All the ladies were lined up on the sofa, binging on drinks and popcorn in the dark, eyes stuck on the big screen when a sniffle was heard from behind them. All of them turned to watch a very worried Steve and Clint looking at Bucky and Scott sit next to them. Their faces glistened in whatever light came from the screen, the streaks of tears and swollen eyes visible even in the dark. Not to mention the blocked noses.
“Are you guys okay?” Wanda asked softly, never giving up what she saw in their minds.
Both of them nodded.
“Are you crying for Loki right now?” Clint asked with a hint of disgust in his voice, earning a smack from Natasha.
“No,” Bucky grunted from the midst of his tear wave while Scott shook his head in agreement. “I’m crying because this stupid bowl in my hand does not have any more popcorn.”
“Yeah,” Scott bawled, “I am mad at this stupid bowl too. Come, let’s get some more popcorn.”
“Yeah,” Bucky agreed in his hoarse voice, still crying as they got up and went away, past the kitchen and into the elevator while the rest watched them silently till the doors closed.
“They forgot their popcorn bowl,” MJ pointed out. Clint looked at her in confusion. “Who are you?”
“None of your concern,” she replied, making Clint feel a little jolt of ‘the audacity of this kid’.
“Should weeee,” Pepper stretched the words in her whisper, unsure of how they would be seen, “watch the part with Loki and the Dominatrix again?”
“Oh hell yeah,” Natasha whispered back, happy to have recorded the live broadcast. Wanda adjusted herself and MJ passed the soda cans across the row.
Clint watched the ladies in shock while Steve sat there in hollow surprise, waiting for the screen to go back to the scene as heartfelt wails of two people could be heard from the garden outside with the words ‘so soft’ and ‘my heart ow my heart’.
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I was rewatching episodes of AF and the scene where Brittany tells Roxy she doesn’t want her there, that gave me major idea vibes of Chloe Beale having an argument with Beca’s father and kicking him out of their home at Thanksgiving for disapproving of their relationship and never supporting his daughter, spending much of Beca’s life absent from her life except to show up and pass judgement. Cause nobody belittles or upsets Beca and gets away with it.
TURNING TABLES
RATING: T.WARNINGS: Homophbia.PAIRING: Bechloe.WORDS: 3.3K.NOTES: Let’s pretend Beca’s father isn’t the same one from Barden pls. Thank you for this, I could totally see it too!
Chloe can count on one hand the amount of in-person interactions she has had with Warren Mitchell. (She’s willing to bet Beca could count hers on two.) Beca doesn’t really talk about him, and given the way he didn’t even walk Beca down the aisle at their wedding, and instead sat in the back with his wife and proceeded to leave before the reception, Chloe already has a pretty clear picture of the type of person he is.
So, Chloe understands why Beca is currently so jittery, why she’s seemingly lost in her own world as she rearranges the place settings at their Thanksgiving-ready table for what feels like the millionth time, and Chloe finds herself watching the other woman sympathetically from across the room.
“Bec, everything looks great,” Chloe states in a gentle tone—though not quite gentle enough apparently, because Beca jumps slightly along with the sound of her voice.
“Yeah,” Beca nods, clearing her throat somewhat awkwardly. Her gaze scans over the table, and while Chloe can’t actually read her mind, she knows she’s still questioning the seating arrangements. Almost like she’s forcing herself away, Beca slowly turns from the table, and Chloe catches sight of just how exhausted she looks. It’s worrisome, considering the day has barely begun yet, but again, Chloe understands it. “I just feel like I need to be doing something, you know? You won’t let me help with the food.” Her brow wrinkles in that familiar way Chloe can’t help but adore, and prompts a subtle smirk in return.
“You remember the green beans last year?” Chloe reminds her, auburn brow arching knowingly. “We were still finding them under the fridge at Christmas.”
“Fine,” Beca grumbles, turning back toward the table without missing a beat. Her hand outstretches to pick up Warren’s name label, though Chloe decides it’s time to intervene.
“Hey, stop,” she mumbles soothingly, pale arms wrapping delicately around Beca’s middle. While she hears a sigh fall from her lips, she also feels the way Beca’s body relaxes into the embrace. “It’s going to be fine,” Chloe continues, her chin resting gently against Beca’s shoulder. Her heartbeat drums gently, hopefully reassuringly, against Beca’s back. Slender fingers settle on top of her lightly freckled arm, and Chloe allows herself a brief glance down toward the wedding ring on Beca’s finger, painted lips tugging up into a contented smile.
Soft fingers squeeze delicately onto her arm, and Chloe tightens her hold slightly. “You just…” Beca’s shoulders slump, volume lowering some, “You don’t know my dad.”
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Given how genuinely wonderful her own parents are, Chloe really can’t relate. She does know she’s glad they’ll be there to act as some kind of buffer today, though. But that doesn’t help Beca’s situation, that doesn’t help to calm her nerves, so Chloe simply pulls her body closer to her own, pushing a gentle kiss into the crook of her neck. “I know,” she whispers softly, “But it’s going to be okay.”
If it were up to Chloe, Warren wouldn’t be joining them at all. But he’s in town for the first time since they moved into their new home, and when Beca had panicked and invited he and Sheila to Thanksgiving dinner, Chloe had been nothing but supportive. She’s very protective of her wife, but Warren is her father, and if Beca wants to try to salvage some kind of relationship with him, then Chloe isn’t going to stand in her way.
Over the years, Chloe has learned to read Beca Mitchell. She knows when she should try to coax something more from her, and when she should leave her to her own thoughts. Right now feels like the latter, and Chloe realizes she’s correct in thinking so when Beca finally releases another soft sigh of defeat, before twisting her body to face her again. Chloe’s arms loosen slightly, though they remain wrapped around Beca’s middle, while Beca’s rise to drape comfortably around Chloe’s neck.
“You look pretty, by the way,” Beca comments, the corner of her lips tugging up into a half smile. “Have I told you that yet?”
Chloe’s soft smirk returns, shoulder shrugging gently. “Mm, once or twice.”
Even after spending the better part of ten years together, it’s easy for them to become entirely wrapped up in one another, completely consumed by the other’s presence alone. And that’s fine when it’s just the two of them, though the sound of the front door opening promptly pulls them back to reality, with Beca freezing in Chloe’s arms.
“Knock knock!” Marie Beale chirps, bright grin plastered across her face as she comes into view. With her dark green dress and small bow holding back her red curls, she’s essentially just an older version of Chloe. “Happy Thanksgiving!”
Chloe’s arms unwrap from around her wife, and she can see the clear look of relief on Beca’s face. Still, even in the company of the most approving of people—Chloe’s parents very much fit that bill—Beca doesn’t love PDA, and tucks a chunk of hair almost shyly behind her ear as she steps out from Chloe’s embrace.
“Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Be—” Beca begins, though corrects herself upon seeing the warning glance shot her way. “Uh… Marie, Andrew.”
“That’s better,” Andrew grins, stepping forward to wrap his daughter into a welcoming hug. Marie quickly pulls Beca into her arms, too.
“Girls, everything smells great,” Chloe’s father comments, stealing himself away toward the kitchen to admire their work.
“Oh, that’s all Chloe,” Beca corrects, following dutifully behind.
Marie shoots Chloe a knowing look. “Green beans incident?”
Chloe nods her head in response, smirk settling onto her lips. “Green beans incident.”
For about ten minutes, there’s a very relaxed, cheerful atmosphere surrounding the four. The food is pretty much ready, and everyone takes the time to huddle on the couches, chatting casually amongst themselves. Beca isn’t a big wine drinker, but she accepts the glass Andrew pours for her, and drinks it perhaps a little too quickly, Chloe notices. However, she chooses not to comment; she knows Beca is stressed, and if a little liquid courage will help her to relax, then who is Chloe to stop her?
For a brief moment, that stress seems to leave her, though the sound of the doorbell almost has her dropping her empty glass, and Chloe quickly glances toward her, offering her a reassuring smile. “Want me to get it?”
Beca shakes her head, handing the wine glass over to Chloe. “No, it’s okay, I’ve got it.”
Chloe responds with a short nod, though exchanges a knowing glance with both of her parents, trying hard not to focus too intently on the sound of Beca greeting her father and step-mother. However, Warren’s first words (“That’s your Thanksgiving attire, Beca?”) are hard to ignore, but Chloe bites her tongue, and proceeds to stand in polite greeting, just in time for Beca to lead both Warren and Sheila into the living room.
“Mr. Mitchell,” Chloe beams, focus shifting to his wife momentarily, “Mrs. Mitchell. You look really nice. Can I take your coat?”
The energy shift between the arrivals of the Beale’s and the Mitchell’s is incredibly apparent, though true to their nature, Marie and Andrew make a point of welcoming the two newcomers warmly into their small party, and both swiftly ignore the judgmental looks they receive in return.
“What are you drinking?” Warren questions, blue-gray eyes moving between the two glasses in Chloe’s hands.
“Oh, just water,” she explains, shaking her glass gently.
“And the wine?”
“Chloe’s favorite!” Andrew responds for her, though Warren has already made his way over to the table, and proceeds to peer curiously at the almost empty bottle.
“This is what you’re serving?” Warren’s brow arches, head tilting as he studies the label, before quickly dismissing it. “Never mind, Sheila and I brought better stuff.”
It’s those comments, the ones that prove Warren Mitchell thinks he’s of a much higher class than everybody else in his vicinity, that cause Beca’s shoulders to sag and her cheeks to darken a shade, but Chloe knows how to play nice, and simply responds with a kind smile.
He doesn’t stop there, of course. He has comments to make about every little thing, it would seem. His chair is uncomfortable, the table is too small, the potatoes aren’t properly mashed. Fortunately, for every negative comment Warren has, both Marie and Andrew have something positive to say, and Chloe does well to bite her tongue. It’s a little upsetting, the way she feels Beca tense up whenever Chloe’s hand slides into her lap reassuringly throughout their meal, but yet again, Chloe understands the resistance. She knows Warren isn’t the biggest fan of their relationship, and while Chloe doesn’t care much for his comfort level, she doesn’t want to make Beca uncomfortable in her own home, too.
“I see you got your mother’s culinary skills,” Warren mumbles as he inspects a shred of turkey. Not for the first time, Beca looks entirely embarrassed, and turns to shoot Chloe an apologetic look, though she’s met with another kind smile, and Chloe gently shakes her head.
“Actually, Mr. Mitchell, the food was all on me this year. If it isn’t good, you don’t have to eat it. I can go whip up something else for you, if you’d like?”
Warren’s brows raise in what Chloe perceives as an entirely judgmental way, and a sickeningly smug look overtakes his weathered features. “Leaving the cooking for someone else? Even more like her mother,” he sneers, turning to shoot his wife a look. Sheila responds with a small snicker.
Again, not for the first time, Chloe bites her tongue, and it’s Beca’s turn to reach for Chloe’s hand under the table this time, giving it a small, reassuring squeeze. The feeling of Beca’s wedding band, the way it sits so comfortably on her finger, only adds to the gentle reassurance.
Apparently, Mr. Beale senses the tension. “Hey, why don’t we do gratitudes?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s a great idea, Andrew,” Beca chimes in quickly, clearing her throat. Her father, meanwhile, practically chokes on his food.
“Mr. Beale,” Warren corrects, “Have some manners, Beca.”
“Oh, no, Andrew is fine,” Marie pipes up, her kind smile the same one Chloe wears. In many ways, Chloe and her mother are very much alike; their fiery red hair, their piercing blue eyes, both with gentle demeanors that will quickly switch when triggered. They both know how to play nice too, though—something Beca is incredibly thankful for. “We’re Beca’s in-laws. We like her to call us by our actual names.”
Warren simply picks up his wine glass, shoulder shrugging briefly, before taking a long swig from his glass. The bottle sits beside him, and he seems to notice the contents are not going down very quickly.
“You know, when someone brings wine to a meal, it’s polite to at least try it,” he says, glare pointed toward Chloe. It doesn’t surprise her that he isn’t her biggest fan, and if her reluctance to try his wine offering is the most he has to throw at her, that’s fine by her.
“Oh, yeah, I’m sure it’s great,” Chloe nods, though motions toward her glass. “I’m fine with water, though. Thank you.”
Her choice in beverage hasn’t been an issue until now, though unlike Beca, Chloe is a wine drinker, and the conversation seems to catch her parents’ attention.
“Is everything okay, honey?” Her mother questions, a look of concern filling her eyes.
“Just try the damn wine,” Warren urges, standing from his seat and picking up the bottle to hand it across the table.
“Dad, no,” Beca interjects, “Chloe…” She trails off, gaze moving toward the woman beside her. Chloe sees clear fear filling her eyes, and honestly, the sight is heartbreaking. Yet again, she shoots her a reassuring smile, hand reaching out to take ahold of Beca’s beneath the table.
“Chloe?” Marie pipes up, that same look of concern still filling her eyes. “Is everything okay? What’s going on?”
Now’s not the time, not with Beca’s very judgmental father seated at the same table, but all eyes are on both Chloe and Beca, and the two exchange an almost cautious glance, before Chloe gently nods her head.
“Uh, yeah,” Beca proceeds, fingers wrapping tightly around Chloe’s. She clears her throat, and Chloe swears she can feel Beca’s palm beginning to sweat. “Everything’s fine. Great, actually.” Blue eyes point downward toward the food, and something they’ve been so excited about for the last two months now suddenly feels like the most terrifying thing in the world. So much so that Beca can’t even continue, not with her father’s stare burning into her the way it is, so Chloe decides to take over.
“Okay, we weren’t going to say anything yet,” Chloe continues, strong gaze shifting between the four sets of eyes on the two of them. “I’m not drinking because,” she glances toward Beca, a softness filling her eyes. “Well, we’re going to have a baby. I’m pregnant.”
“What?” The response is one of shock for the briefest of moments, before Marie rises quickly from her seat, an excited yelp sounding from her throat. “Pregnant? Oh, Chloe! Andrew, we’re going to be grandparents!”
Despite the prior atmosphere, despite the presence of Beca’s father, Chloe can’t help the wide grin that spreads across her lips as both of her parents pull both she and Beca into their arms in congratulatory hugs. She can even hear Beca chuckling softly from the middle of Andrew’s bear hug, and for just a moment, it’s easy to forget that there are two other people in the room, neither of whom has said anything thus far.
“You have got to be kidding me,” Warren suddenly pipes up, the newly stern tone to his voice catching everybody off guard.
Even Sheila reaches out a hand to settle gently on his arm. “Warren, don’t,” she warns quietly, though he promptly shakes her off, clear anger written across his face.
“No, Sheila. It’s bad enough that she insisted on marrying a woman, but now they’re going to bring a kid into this? Mess up your own life all you want, Beca, but a child’s, too? Really?”
For a second or two, it would seem everybody is in shock. Beca opens her mouth to speak, but swiftly closes it again, and Chloe can just tell how hard her wife feels like she has just been punched in the gut. She doesn’t like what Warren says, but it’s that look on Beca’s face, that sheer, undiluted pain, that has Chloe finally seeing red.
“Excuse me?” Apparently, Chloe is done biting her tongue.
“Chlo, leave it,” Beca whispers, hand reaching out to settle on her arm the same way Sheila’s had on her father’s only seconds prior.
“No,” Chloe shakes her head, brows tugging together. Both Marie and Andrew have taken their seats again, and it’s clear that nobody else is going to try to stop her, so Chloe continues. “Mr. Mitchell, we invited you into our home to spend this holiday with us, something Beca won’t admit, but that she has wanted to do for the past only God knows how many years. Her whole life, probably.”—Beca doesn’t correct her, so Chloe proceeds—“We invited you to our wedding, because Beca wanted you to be apart of one of the most special days of her life, and you didn’t even have the decency to stay and actually celebrate with us. You’ve come into our home and basically insulted your own daughter any chance you’ve gotten, and now you think it’s acceptable to talk that way about our unborn child?”
As taken aback as Warren looks, he evidently still has his own strong—and in Chloe’s mind, wrong—opinions, and continues with the same conviction. “A child is supposed to have a mother and a father. You realize it’s going to be bullied, right?”
There’s a rage deep within Chloe that she hasn’t felt before, not like this. While she’s normally the epitome of respect for her elders, Warren Mitchell has lost his right to that by now, so Chloe chooses not to hold back.
“Right, the same way Beca had a mother and a father? I don’t know you, Mr. Mitchell, but I do know that I have spent more holidays, more celebrations, more time with your daughter than you ever have. And the way Beca has been so terrified of you showing up here today, so desperate for your approval, I can guarantee that our baby will never feel that way. Our baby will never have to fight for our affection, because we are going to be incredible parents. Beca especially, and you want to know how I know that?” By now, Chloe has risen from her seat, and again, nobody has tried to hold her back. She hasn’t exactly lunged toward Warren, she’s still in her place, but she towers above him as he glares up at her from his seat, and it’s clear who has the dominance in the situation. “Because you’ve given her the perfect example of what not to do.”
There’s a surge of venom behind Chloe’s words that is almost unrecognizable even to her, and it has Warren glaring back at her, red-faced. “How dare you—” He begins, though Chloe cuts him off abruptly.
“No, Mr. Mitchell, how dare you? This is our home, and I’m sorry, but you’re just not welcome here anymore. I think you should leave,” Chloe states firmly, never breaking eye contact. “That’s not a request.”
It’s not often that Chloe loses her temper, not really. But this is an exception, and honestly, she feels like she’s well within her rights. However, her blinders are up, her pointed glare on Warren and his wife as they rise from their seats, so much so that Chloe doesn’t even think to check on Beca, to make sure that this is okay. Instead, she pushes back her chair and quickly escorts the two toward the front door, ignoring the grunts and grumbles sent her way. It’s only once the door is closed on their unwanted guests that Chloe finally comes back to her senses, back pressed up against the hard wood of the door.
And suddenly, she wonders if perhaps she went too far.
Even more so when the sight of her wife, wide-eyed and almost disbelieving, comes into view.
“Bec, I’m so—”
“Do you know how much I love you?”
The words catch Chloe off guard, stop her in her tracks. It’s not like she doesn’t know it, but a part of her had been expecting a hysterical Beca, or at the very least for her to yell. But she doesn’t. Instead, Beca takes a few steps forward, until small hands are rising to delicately cup Chloe’s blush-covered cheeks, blue eyes meeting blue.
“Of course I do,” Chloe nods, finally finding her words. “I’m sorry, I know he’s your dad, I just—”
“No, you don’t have to apologize.” Beca’s voice is gentle, kind. It’s like all of the fear, all of the hesitation built up inside her has suddenly dissipated, and Chloe suddenly recognizes her again. She’s her Beca again.
“He doesn’t get to talk to us like that, he doesn’t get to talk about our baby like that. And everything you said, it’s all true. You’re going to be the most amazing mother, Chlo. Our baby is so loved already.” She pauses, one hand falling from Chloe’s cheek to rest feather lightly against the small, barely visible swell of her stomach hidden beneath the loose fabric of her dress. “We’re both in the best hands possible.” Beca stretches up slightly, soft lips brushing against her wife’s.
“Seriously, Chloe,” Beca whispers, closing the gap between them. She doesn’t care that Chloe’s parents can see, doesn’t care that there’s anybody else in the room with them. It’s just the two of them in Beca’s mind—or three—and she chooses not to hold back, the same way Chloe hadn’t only moments before. “Thank you.”
#beca mitchell#chloe beale#bechloe#bechloe au#bechloe fic#mine#mine:writing#anonymous#question#turning tables
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Simple Lifestyle Tweaks To Shed Fat Fast
This is so familiar – you pledge to honor a daily elliptical routine and count every last calorie. But soon, you’re eating chips at the office and grabbing happy hour mojitos, thinking, diet over!
There is a better way to lose weight – Swap the all-or-nothing approach for one or two healthy switch-ups in your daily routine. Doing this can lead to more weight loss than you ever imagined.
Here are 16 tricks that will help you tweak your lifestyle to a skinnier and sexier body.
1. Eat More Snacks
Skipping snack time won’t necessarily lead to weight loss: Low calorie consumption can actually slow metabolism. Eating less than three times a day may benefit those who are obese, but research shows skipping meals throughout the day and eating one large meal at night can lead to some undesirable outcomes (like delayed insulin response) which may increase the risk of diabetes. Instead of forgoing breakfast or lunch, stick to a few meals a day with healthy snacks between them.
2. Stock Your Fridge With Healthy Foods
Make an effort to fill your fridge with healthy produce and proteins. And when the crisper is empty, make sure the freezer is stocked with frozen veggie mixes or berries (and don’t forget to grab the bags that are sans added sauces or sugar). You may be less apt to order out when you’ve got the makings of a healthy dinner right at home.
3. Eat a Hearty Breakfast
Skipping breakfast in order to “save your appetite” for dinner probably isn’t a safety shield for late-night noshing. While there’s still debate on how important breakfast really is, not eating until the afternoon may lead to binge-eating later (think: a massive dinner because you’re starving). Stick to a reasonably-sized breakfast with plenty of protein, so you’re not tempted to eat unhealthy snacks mid-morning.
4. Snack Before Going Out To Eat
Grabbing an apple or a small cup of yogurt before meeting friends for dinner can help ensure you’ll eat a reasonable amount of that enormous entrée. And be sure to reach for the protein—research shows that an afternoon snack of Greek yogurt can lead to reduced hunger, increased fullness, and less eating come dinner time.
5. Do Not Watch TV While You Eat
Eating while watching television is linked to poor food choices and overeating. Getting sucked into the latest episode of “Scandal” can bring on mindless eating—making it easy to lose track of just how many chips you’ve gone through. It’s not just the mindlessness of watching televsion that’ll get us. Commercials for unhealthy foods and drinks may increase our desire for low-nutrient junk, fast food, and sugary beverages.
6. Fill Up On Fibre
Eating more vegetables and other high-fibre items like legumes can help keep us fuller, longer. Look for at least five grams or more of the stuff per serving. Snack on some of our favorite high-fibre picks like stuffed baked apples or jazzed-up oats.
7. Ditch The Added Sugar
Adding sugar to food may increase the risk for cardiovascular disease and obesity. Stick to sugar that comes in its natural form (think: fruits, veggies, and whole grains) and scrap that spoonful on your cereal or in your coffee.
8. Skip Frying
Even healthy food can go bad when it’s been dropped in a fryer. Instead, pan fry or pop a dish in the oven. Use non-stick spray to sauté foods, or rub oil onto a pan with a paper towel for a light coating.
9. Eat the Fruit, not Drink It
Juices (which are often not 100 percent fruit) provide some vitamins, but without the same fiber and phytonutrients as a real piece of fruit. Take an apple for instance: The average apple juice box has nearly double the sugar and seven times less fiber than the apple itself.
10. Use Free Weights
Strength training on its own is a great idea— but it gets even better when you set yourself free. And by that, we mean squatting with a pair of dumbbells instead of using the leg press. Working out with free weights can activate muscles more effectively, and adding muscle can help torch calories.
11. Do Functional Exercises
Functional exercise has been shown to increase strength and balance and reduce the risk of injury all while working multiple muscle groups at the same time. All that movement promotes muscle gain, which can increase metabolism, which can help shed fat. Added bonus: Functional exercises can make real-life tasks—like hauling groceries up stairs—easier.
12. Stand Up – All the Time
It may sound ludacris to peel your tush from a desk chair at work, but sitting all day has been linked to obesity, poor posture, and chromic pain. Try a sit-stand workstation to switch things up and burn more calories.
13. Have Sex – All the Time
Working up a sweat in bed can burn around 60 calories in just a half hour. Having sex also reduces blood pressure and overall stress levels (and stress can lead to weight gain). Need we say more?
14. Sleep – A Lot More Than Before
Sleep not only reduces stress, helps us heal faster, and prevents depression, it can also help shave off pounds. That’s because sleep loss is linked to changes in appetite and the metabolism of glucose (sugar in the blood). Moral of the story: Sleep is associated with less weight gain.
15. Just Get Moving
A simple phrase for losing weight is: Move more and eat less. The secret is that moving doesn’t just mean hitting the track or going to the gym. Make the conscious decision to get more steps into the day by taking the stairs, having a walking meeting, or parking the car far away from a store’s entrance.
One last thing… you should try this super simple morning ritual that burns 1 pound of belly fat per day…
“All this by a morning ritual?” I asked.
I met an old friend for lunch last year and I was super impressed with how she lost 72 pounds in 3 months.
She said, “It’s not so much about the the so called ritual but more about how it releases fat-blasting molecules that signal your brain and body to burn off pounds and inches of trapped fat quickly and naturally.”
Even though I was skeptical, I’ve been struggling with my weight over the last few years, so I gave it a shot and watched the same video she did.
Well, it’s only a couple weeks later and you know what they say about how “you can’t transform your body overnight”…
They’re right — it actually took me 14 days to lose 19 pounds.
Now it’s my girlfriends asking ME what I’M doing differently
Imagine your body being beach ready before Memorial Day.
Imagine enjoying the foods you love: pasta, wine, or even a dessert — completely guilt-free.
And imagine feeling good and living your life without obsessing about every single calorie you eat…
All while knowing your health is being protected by one of the most powerful natural healing rituals ever discovered.
Click here to see the super simple morning ritual that helped me melt away 19 pounds in just 14 days
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Mrs. All American pt. 2
Harrison x Reader
Warnings: my usuals - swearing, mentions of alcohol, fluff idk
Summary: you see Tom's parents, visit around London, and get closer with Harrison
Part 1 here!
°••°••°••°••°••°••°
You woke up in Tom's guest bed to the sound of chatter in the kitchen and light peaking through your curtains. As you stretched you smiled and went to fix the makeup you slept in. It never bothered your face, but didn't always look great the next day. Plus you never wore foundation or stuff like that, so it's just eye makeup to worry about. Your hair was in a messy bun, large sweatshirt from school looking cute, and everything looked good. You wouldn't admit it out loud, but you wanted to look cute in case Harrison was down there. The boy caught your eye right away and you felt bold and like your confident self around him. Almost like you have known him as long as Tom.
Walking down stair you were met with the sound of the twins watching TV and saying good morning to you. Then you walked into the kitched and instantly saw Tom's mom. She smiled and pulled you in for a hug.
"Oh darling you've gotten so much more beautiful since I last saw you! You look like such a beautiful young woman. How's school and your parents?" Her hug was a great start to the day and you replied that both were wonderful. You found a chair and sat by the kitchen island.
Dominic walked in not long after, "Thought I heard you, did you sleep well?" He hugged you as well and you smiled.
"Yeah although I don't even know what time I slept til. I never checked the time. Is it even the AM still?"
A voice from behind you answered your question. "You just barely made it. It is only 11:38." Turning, you met Harrison's eyes and smiled lightly at him. "Sam and I bet Harry and Tom that you would push it past noon. I just lost 5 pounds because of you."
"Sorry? Although to be honest I did think I would sleep til at least 12:30." Nic asked you if you would like a cup of tea and you responded yes with sugar.
"Is it cool if I make some eggs or something?"
"Certainly not darling. Dom grab a pan. You are a guest, he can make you some!" She looked at you kindly and you insisted it was fine.
"No no I can make them myself it's no trouble at all." You smiled at their hospitality, but didn't need them doing your cooking for you.
A hand brushed your back and you heard Harrison's voice in your ear. "I wouldn't fuss on it love. You won't win this." As he walked past you he grabbed your cup of tea and took a sip. He cringed as he handed it to you. "Ugh you take sugar in it. Nasty."
After responding to Dom about your eggs you looked at him and replied. "Serves you right for drinking my shit. I'm a sarcastic, bitchy person, the only source of sweetness I get is from the sugar in my diet."
"Luckily, I still like you love. I think you're sweet enough." He kissed your cheek just before Dominic and Nicky turned to face you. The cheesy line made you blush despite your efforts. For some reason this guy was making you blush more than you had in your whole life. While eating your eggs you engaged in pleasent conversation before Tom emerged from somewhere and said you him and Haz were going sight seeing and such in town soon.
Running to your room put on some jeans your boots, a simple dark red top, and a jacket. You also made sure to grab your bags since Tom's place was the next sleep spot for you. After saying goodbye to Tom's parents and Sam and Harry, you and followed the 2 men out the door and you took a seat in the back of the car.
"Where do you want to go for sure? I remember you saying that you would rather have us lead you around, but what is one place for sure you want to visit."
After thinking a moment you answered. "The London Eye. It looks so cool and I wanna see the view. Other than that, just basic tourist stuff and cool places you guys know." Soon he parked in a garage you assumed was close to his house and London.
"Someone from Marvel needs to drop of a schedule for me and said they could grab the bags from my car. So don't worry about them." Tom explained to you.
"Sounds good to me. Now let me play tourist!"
After a couple hours of seeing Big Ben, the Palace, and a few other spots, you finally got to the Eye.
"Tom let me pay. I can afford this and you have already done enough! Not that I don't appreciate it, just I don't want to take advantage man." You looked at him, eyes trying to convince him.
With a sigh he gave in. "Fine but I really don't mind. I have too much to know what to do with anyway."
"We get it your rich. Now let's go!" The line moved and it was your turn to enter. You grabbed Harrison's hand and eagerly went in. Tom laughed and followed behind. Somehow, the 3 of you had a whole pod thing and area to yourself. Tom probably made that happen you thought. As it rose you moved to the window and exclaimed, "Holy shit this is amazing." Harrison moved his hand from yours and pulled you close by the waist.
"Glad you're enjoying yourself. I live around here and cannot remember the last time I was here doing this stuff."
"Yeah we do get to see cool stuff when traveling, but it isn't the same as this. We never visit as often as we could." Tom comes to the other side of where you and Harrison were.
While still having Harrison's arm around you, you looked around as the pod thing got higher. "How could you not visit this view." Looking out caused you to miss the look the boy was giving you. To him you were so lovely and the wonder in your eyes while enjoying and taking everything in was beautiful. Tom caught him looking a laughed lightly. His friend glared in response and he stepped aside, not getting in the way of you both.
"I'm enjoying my view right now." He spoke softly to you and you turned to face him.
"I appreciate that, but if you ever give a line that cheesy to me again, I may hurl." Despite your joke, the sparkle in your eyes let him know how you really felt. Plus, he could see the blush on your cheeks form ever so slightly.
"Y/N I can't help it. I speak the truth." His face was close to yours.
"Mhmm sure. But try to be more original next time." Regardless of the teasing, you lightly kissed him, just as you did the night before. It still amazed you how bold and forward you were with him. Pulling back, you just reached the top. You continued looking around, but you and Harrison remained close. Even after the Eye and throughout the rest of your visits in London, he was either holding your hand or an arm was around your shoulder. At one point, you went to the bathroom and the 2 friends talked.
"You and her seem very close." It was a simple statement, no specific tone behind it.
"I like her. A lot. She is really cool and we get along so well. She's witty and funny. She's just genuine." He spoke honestly.
Tom looked at him then spoke. "Well you know she is only here for a little while right? She is a really good friend, I have known her for a while. She doesn't just do this with anyone so I can tell she's got a liking to you also." Those words made him happier than he thought, even though he already took a good guess at your feelings.
"I know she isn't from here, and won't be here long. But I want to roll with it and see where it goes after."
"Fair but if you hurt her, both me and her will kick your ass. But she is very easy going so you're good." He smiled to Harrison, who saw and waved as your approached. Next the 3 of you went around looking around in London with a handsome man's arm around you.
Fast forward a few more hours and the 3 of you trecked into Tom's appartment. First thing you did was plop down on the couch and turn on Netflix. You made yourself comfy, but knew you weren't being rude. You knew Tom didn't care in the slightest that you made yourself at home despite this being your first visit to his place. The boys were getting the pizza you ordered and some drinks ready. After searching for a bit, you found Grand Tour and put on the pickup truck episode.
"Hell yeah! I have been meaning to pick back up on this show. Now seems like no better time and place to finish this new season." You tucked your feet up and eagerly watched. "Wait! Can someone bring me a couple slices of pizza please?"
Harrison looked to his best friend, "Man she watches Grand Tour too?! This girl's amazing! Again. Cannot believe you didn't have a meet sooner in some fashion." He made sure to grab your food for you while scolding this friend.
With a chuckle, Tom responded. "Maybe you should tell her that then! And shut up. You guys were attached at the hip while we were about, I felt like I was crashing a date. I think you have made up for lost time now."
Harrison simply rolled his eyes and headed towards you on the couch. Tom noted how he did not disagree. Handing you the pizza he sat next to you and smiled as you thanked him.
Looking at the slice you smiled. "I didn't even tell you which box was mine. Thanks for getting the right one."
"Y/N you get the most random combo, of course he knew it was yours. Tomatoes, ham, and olives? Who get's that?" Tom gestured to your slice as he spoke.
"Psh whatever, I still appreciate it. Plus, he said nothing about my adventurous pallet!" You stuck your tongue out at him. Then you followed it by turning to Harrison and kissing his cheek. "You're very sweet Haz."
Luckily your voice was low and kiss was discrete, so Tom said nothing. But Harrison blushed and tried to remain calm at your random affection. Your perfume yet again makhing his mind stir. He wasn't complaining. It was just something you did to him.
"Mmm! I forgot to say! Tom at the party tomorrow. I have one request. Liquor. Liquor and lots of it. I have not had a good party since the semester ended. I hear you guys can drink here across the pond. So prove it." You spoke with bold excitement and the boys knew it was going to be a grand night simply because the guest of honor was so pumped.
"Not to worry my friend, I planned on making sure we run to the liquor store tomorrow to get all that you want." The way you clapped your hands once and said yes made them smile.
"Plus the outfit I packed makes me look damn good. I'm not that girly but I do occasionally like dressin up and getting ready like that." As you spoke you returned your focus back to the show and laughed at something Clarkson said. In addition to that, you also leaned into Harrison a tad. You didn't even realize you did so until his hand brushed your shoulder.
"Can you 2 not get lovey on my couch? I nap on this couch." Tom joked casually at you both while his eyes remained on the TV.
Arm coming around you tighter. You smiled as he pulled you closer. "Piss off mate, no need to be jealous she finds me comfier than you." You laughed againt Harrison. It was real, and you realized how glad you were that Tom talked you into this trip.
The 3 of you chatted and watched more of the funny car show as the pizza was eaten and time passed. At some point during that time you felt Harrison playing with the ends of your hair. Figuring he was trying to be subtle and nonchalant, you said nothing. However, that failed to stop the butterflies in your stomach. Between that and his colone creeping up, you were a flustered mess. Once another episode ended, Tom got up and put the dishes and pizza away. You and Harrison were left on the couch and you decided to shift to face him.
"I had a fun time today. Thank you for that." He smiled lightly. You took note of the kitchen faucet running and dishes clinking
He smiled and looked down a bit. "No need to thank me, or just me at least. It was Tom's idea."
"Yeah but I can't thank him like I want to thank you."
His eyes snapped up to meet yours and luckily he got the hint right away. Lips met each other in the middle and hands brought you both closer. This was more intense than the kiss you shared your first night in England. There was desire and a spark to it. Each of you were obvious of the flirting back and forth that has occurred all day. Now this was just a day's worth of tension being released. The hairs on the back of his neck were soft through your fingers. Sadly, like most good things, your small make out session was ended. Ended by the celebrity who you claim to be your friend, reasoning lost currently.
"Really guys? What did I say about the couch? Take it to a room or some place I don't relax." Even though you were being scolded like horny teens, Tom's eyes held an amused glint. He was happy for his friends.
You pull apart, but stayed close to each other. You spoke first with a small laugh. "I promise, next time no couch. But since you so rudely ruined the mood... I'm going to bed. After all, there is a big party tomorrow. Night guys." As you got up you kissed Harrison's cheek. You giggled as you heard him mumble 'next time?' to himself. With a wink you nod yes. Knowing he was looking, you made sure to walk back in a manner that would keep his attention until you were out of view.
Tom looked at Harrison and laughed fully. "Dude. You're drooling."
He looked at Tom with awe struck eyes and a blissful expression. "I am so whipped aren't I?" Even though he asked, he didn't need to look at Tom nodding his head to know. The boy wa gone for.
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Hope you liked this! There will be more than 2 parts I have decided. This is written on my phone so sorry if there are errors.
As per usual, like a reblog and feedback is encouraged!
#harrison osterfield x reader#harrison osterfield#harrison fanfic#tom holland#harrison osterfield fluff#harrison fluff
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504: Secret Agent Super Dragon
Let’s move on to another oft-overlooked subset of MST3K – the Budget Bond films. These are always very bad, but often a lot of fun if you’re in the right kind of mood.
Brian Cooper is Super Dragon, pulled out of retirement to find out who’s distributing poisoned chewing gum to co-eds! Boy, if that doesn’t sound like the setup for a thrilling spy caper, nothing does! The plot seems to revolve around a Dutch student named Christine Bruder, so Cooper goes to Amsterdam looking for her. There, in between fucking his female colleagues and flirting with every woman he sees, he learns that Bruder was part of a plot to smuggle deadly drugs into the United States, hidden in fake Ming vases. An evil conspiracy is planning to dope the free world on a chemical that will cause us to violently attack one another, and then… uh, I don’t know what happens after that, but it’s probably safe to assume it’ll end in the bad guys ruling the world. That’s always the goal.
What’s with that spy movie cliché about the glamorous secret agent who sleeps with every woman he meets? Friends, enemies, co-workers, random waitresses… our suave hero loses no chance to insert Tab A into Slot B. He can’t walk down the street without having women throw themselves at him. This trope has been parodied to hell and back in everything from Austin Powers to The Million Eyes of Sumuru and it’s actually sort of weird to see it played straight, as it is here. As a PSA to my readers: never sleep with a glamorous secret agent. He probably has like nine venereal diseases.
The weirdest thing in the movie is a facet of this trope: it’s the bit where Cooper and Agent Farrell are busily smooching when a man breaks into her apartment and tries to kill them. They fight him off, and he commits suicide so they can’t question him. Cooper then throws his body out the window, turns the soundtrack back on, and the couple just pick up where they left off! Maybe it’s because I’m not a glamorous secret agent but I gotta agree with Tom Servo on this one: I don’t think I could have sex in the same room where I just watched a guy kill himself. It wouldn’t be right, you know?
I will say that this indifference towards death bothers me less here than it did in Master Ninja I, but the characters in Secret Agent Super Dragon have presumably have years of both physical training to kill and psychological coaching to deal with the consequences. Even so, just getting right back to the makeout session before the body’s even had a chance to cool seems unnecessarily callous.
The other trope I notice a lot of in Secret Agent Super Dragon is the death trap. Our hero’s life is threatened repeatedly but always in some contrived way that allows him a chance to escape. The first time he’s tied to a rail so some machine can come along and roll over his head. He gets out in the nick of time and it crushes a can of red paint instead. The second time he’s nailed into a coffin and thrown into the river. He holds his breath and inflates a flotation device. The third time, he’s trapped in a building rigged to explode. His buddy flies in with a helicopter. Why doesn’t anybody just shoot this guy? Villains that stupid don’t deserve to take over the world!
Yet another thing that stands out as remarkably dumb is the cause the charity auction is supposed to support – ‘an International Hospital for Babies with Malnutrition’. Okay, so, imagine you’re somebody whose child is starving, which probably means you’re dirt poor. Instead of sending food to you, these people expect you to bring the baby to a hospital, which may be in another country, so that they can feed the kid there. Is the complete impracticality of this supposed to be our clue that it’s a scam? The script never references that, though. Did somebody just pick a bunch of charitable-sounding words? Was it a bad translation of something that actually made sense in the original language? Are the writers just that stupid? We’ll probably never know.
Beyond that… it’s honestly really hard to say anything deeper about Secret Agent Super Dragon, because this is another movie that’s not very ambitious. It has some vague themes about drugs as the downfall of western civilization, but its characters don’t have appreciable arcs and there’s not much by way of symbolism for me to analyze. All it wants is to keep us mindlessly entertained for an hour and a half – and there’s nothing wrong with that, honestly, but Super Dragon isn’t even any good at it. Trying to watch without Joel and the bots I found myself drifting repeatedly. There’s the charming super-spy, the parade of blandly beautiful women, the evil mastermind with a vague plan to take over the world, the easily-escaped death traps… we’ve done this all before, and Super Dragon doesn’t even use the stereotypes in skillful or interesting ways.
The thing about spy movie tropes is they’re so easy to parody, and have been parodied so many times, that even somebody who doesn’t actually watch spy movies can spot them because we all absorb them through pop-culture osmosis. Playing them straight therefore runs a very serious risk of boring the audience. Of course Agent Farrell is working for the bad guys, because in a story like this, a character like her does – and of course she falls in love with Cooper and betrays her bosses for him. None of this stuff is even really foreshadowed (except that Farrell dyes her hair – can’t trust those unnatural redheads!) but we still know it’s coming because we’ve seen the same shit in fifty other movies. The bad guy wants to cleanse the world so it can be made anew? Been there. The movie wallows in misogyny but in all the same old ways, so I’ve got nothing new to say about it.
Throughout the film people talk about the ‘legendary Super Dragon’ but I don’t think we ever get a reason why Cooper’s so great. Bond films begin with a breathtaking action setpiece to show us that our hero has nifty gadgets and balls of steel – Secret Agent Super Dragon begins with Cooper playing dead by the pool. His most remarkable ability seems to be holding his breath for a really long time, and his gadgeteer, the kleptomaniacal Babyface, makes most of his gadgets out of literal toys. I think this might be a joke about the obvious miniatures some of these movies use… but I’m not sure. All I’m sure of is when that dinosaur waddled into the room I was halfway expecting it to demand the return of the Golden Ninja Warrior.
About the only place where the movie seems to accidentally brush by a real statement is in a moment that resembles a historical reference. Cooper has infiltrated a conspiracy meeting (by wearing a half-mask that leaves his rather distinctive chin fully visible) at which the Big Bad, Mr. Lamas, is delivering an expository monologue: their factory in India is in full production of the drug, which will be shipped to America in phony Ming vases and bring the world to its knees! If you’re going to talk about drugs making and breaking empires, China and India are where it happened.
In the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries, the East India Company fostered opium addiction in China because they wanted cheap tea and because the British government had vague plans, which never came anywhere close to fruition, to add China to their empire. The opium to feed this addiction was grown in India, often by farmers who would rather have been growing actual food but owed too much money to the EIC. This all led to the Opium Wars and a lot of other unpleasantness in which the British Empire came out looking even more like assholes than they usually did. In a story about conquering the world through drug addiction, then, having the drugs created in India and slipped into something Chinese looks like a reference to history repeating itself.
It may also mean something else. Secret Agent Super Dragon is relentlessly white, set mostly in a city in northwestern Europe, where conspiracies of middle-aged white guys drink booze and decide the fate of nations. The actual work that makes this possible, however, is being done by people of colour in the east. Not only does this seem to reference how western nations use other countries as battlegrounds and bargaining chips in their own power struggles, it can also serve as a reminder of something we frequently forget: a lot of what makes our comfortable lives possible comes from other countries, made by people who could never afford to buy it. My eyeglasses, the sweater I’m wearing, and the chair I’m sitting on were all made in China. Our entire economy depends on cheap foreign labor, and I wonder sometimes how much longer that can last before the whole thing falls apart.
Is any of this the movie’s intentional theme or message? I doubt it. The historical reference seems to be just a ‘hey, look how clever we are!’ moment and the rest probably goes no deeper than ‘oh, no, our children are doing drugs!’, which has been on the verge of ending civilization since at least the thirties. Secret Agent Super Dragon is just a dumb trashy Eurospy movie, and not even a very good one. I don’t hate it, but mostly because it’s not worth that kind of effort. The MST3K treatment renders it infinitely more enjoyable, especially when Tom and Crow do Jazz.
Agent Cooper was played by actor Ray Danton, who died in 1992, a year before the episode aired. Probably all for the best. I doubt he’d have been into all those jokes about how his character is perfectly smooth.
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Southwest Roadtrip - Episode 1: Viva las Vegas
When it comes to discovering the US, Johnny Cash kept it simple and straight to the point:
“I've been everywhere, man.
Crossed the desert's bare, man.
I've breathed the mountain air, man.
Of travel I've had my share, man.
I've been everywhere.“
And what a journey it was! Who knew a failed attempt to fly to Hawaii would result in such a fun adventure? We packed our stuff and jumped on a plane, destination Southwest of America. Starting by Vegas, passing through Arizona, stopping by Utah, resting in Colorado. Only my friend Belu would be as kamikaze to propose such thing and found in me such a blind partner-in-crime. It was September 4th, and we were rushing in a taxi from Hoboken to Newark to board our first flight during a global sanitary emergency, looking like Darth Vader’s close cousins with our masks and face shields.
After an approximately 6-hour flight, we landed in the middle of literally nowhere. We were able to see the pyramid and some other iconic architecture which I currently do not remember because it was about only for 5 seconds before landing. On arrival, on a mostly empty airport, we were surprised by the amount of slot machines that were there, welcoming everyone to place their bets. For sure, ours was to have fun and contrary to common belief, the house didn't win this one: we had a blast!
Followed by a surprise “SIN CITY, WOOO HOOO!” shout from someone who obviously has been living inside a thermos for the last past months, we cracked up and went to fetch a car. This very nice gentleman took us to the Bellagio (yeap, we went full on cliche mode, with what was originally a non-existent promo) while DJ Dani blasted her best records to kick off this adventure with the right feet: Viva Las Vegas by Elvis Presley and Just a Gigolo by Louis Prima Success.
DAY 1:
First things first: check in and adventure. Hotel, amenities and surroundings. Vegas spins around two main areas: the famous Strip, 6.8kms of the brightest place on earth seen from outer space full of hotels, restaurants, shops and of course, casinos. Pretty much Disneyworld for adults. The Bellagio is the iconic hotel which hosts some of the greatest restaurants and also the famous dancing fountains. Also, is one that is pretty centrally located, in between Caesars Palace (Roman Empire themed), The Cosmopolitan (which imitates boheme life from France) Aria and Park MGM Las Vegas (New York City represent!), Excalibur (Middle Ages) Luxor (Cleopatra’s Egypt) and The Venetian (of course, Venice). Everything is within walking distance but beware of the heat: a normal day in the desert is around 42C (107F), if not more, with a melting down thermal sensation of 1000 in any scale. This is why is also a city that is enjoyable during night time. So, do not feel bad about sleeping in a bit: you can always chill by the pool in the morning, have a little something for lunch and sleep (or remove the hangover) during the afternoon when the sun is unbearable. OR, the casino is always open so that could be an option. We chose to walk around a bit (big mistake) but luckily once you enter to the casinos, they are all connected with escalators, shade and AC, so we were mesmerized by this grown up themed park, where is so easy to lose track of time.
After an Italian lunch on a french bistro in a corner of Paris (? yes.. I know..) we went back and rest by the pool. Once the sun was already getting ready to bet some chips at night, we did too: we changed into our most shinny and glamorous outfit and won exactly 27 dollars! We checked out Venice, and some of the night shows that were happening on the streets (like naked promoters, the massive PM lines, and the crazy long-ass “juice” towers flowing around the more energetic covid-prone crowds) right before we headed up to Yellowtail, the Japanese and Michelin Starred restaurant at the Bellagio. We had their famous tuna pizza (it sounds terrible but it is more of a tostada or sashimi-style like) and got disappointed that they run out of the short ribs, but instead had some amazing sushi rolls and some tempura bites. When we found out about the beautiful, sigh-seeing windows that displayed all the fountain show we left our high-end attires aside and run to the windows, interrupting some other people’s dinner while leaving the waiters behind. We decided to go for dessert somewhere else and went to the piano bar located at the reception for a delicious espresso and a chocolate diamond cake. We did some neon-gazing and loved the fountain show to the beat of Believe by Cher, while being overwhelmed by a surreal feeling of actually being there, having so much fun and appreciating our friendship (and of course, avoided a high/drunk fellow who tried to take our pics and phone with them - she didnt know we were from New York and from Rio de la Plata, so the scam was on her!)
DAY 2
Repeat. (and pretty much that’s all we did). We kicked it off with a fake breakfast by the pool, and some piñas coladas in between facemasks. We also had a light lunch by the pool (a greek salad with some much needed water) and then, around 6:15 we took a cab to the Neon Museum - yeap, for those who think there is only light fun in Vegas, nope, think again, there are worthy museums, too! ( I even made a joke here! damn I’m inspired!). The Neon Museum is a scrap dealer cemetery, where all the old and somehow “broken” -even thou most of them have been repaired and are currently working!- neon signs from Old time Vegas rest. It is very fun to see old hotels, random letters, icons and logos being laid there, creating a wonderful mess in the middle of, again, you guess right, the desert. It was very fun and beautiful to be honest.
Another short taxi drive later (I was too naif thinking we could walk in short heels under the killer heat more than a block!) we drove thru what is known as “Old Vegas” or “Downtown Vegas”. This used to be the place where the magic happened before the creation of the Strip, but nowadays it only hosts what lingers of once a glamorous and kitschy past. The center of this action can be found throughout Freemont Street, a pedestrian long avenue that gathers classic neon signs, all-time Vegas characters (we still missed out on Elvis, so watch out impersonator, we will be back just for you!), stripers, street sellers, all you can eat venues, dodgy bars, and more and more neons.
According to Las Vegas Tourism Board>> “Fun people, crazy people, partying, gambling, drinking, street performers, free music and light shows, zip lining and just having a good time... that's what you expect at Freemont.”
We had some pizza, talked to this Montana guy who for a second thought he was able to have a threesome with us on his dirty van, were voluntary abused by these hot, ripped stripers who made us laugh with their pick up line: “You can leave your face mask here, right by your underwear too, please.” The guys were a “sample” - since the show is canceled due to the pandemic- of Chippendales, something a fine woman needs to experience once in their lifetime. Belu felt in love with her boy, but given the current times and protocols, this love couldn't prosper as we all wished it had. No worries amiga, next time!
But the most striking part of this decadent place was witnessing this surreal restaurant called Heart Attack Grill, where people who weight more than 350lbs (almost 160kgs) eat for free. The biggest burger consist on 8 patties, and as an FYI, only the 4 patty burger is marked on the Guinness World Records Book as the “Quadruple Bypass Burger” with almost 10.000 calories, all the beverages consists on massive soft drinks, milkshakes, beers and wine, (full bottles, of course, served from an IV drip bag) and it is not allowed to share food. The place is cash only, you gotta weight yourself before entering, each patty is made of half pound each, everybody must wear hospital gowns and if you dare not to finish your meal, you get three spanks by the horny yet not so sexy waitress dressed as nurses. As a nice little detail, on the biggest burger you can pump it up with 40 slices of bacon by only $7.99 more!
And, to wrap up this majestic hospital parlor, I recently researched that the legal owner of Heart Attack Grill is hilarious – Diet Center LLC. The founder is Jon Basso, who strives to provide “nutritional pornography” in his food. For a better comprehension (for a lack of a better word) of this place, you can check out this recap of Showtime’s series: Deadly Sins.
So, we were mesmerized, we were educated, we bet, we ate, we drunk and we touched some sweaty strippers, so there was only one thing left to do: crush a weeding. So there we went. There were multiple chapels around the area, but I dont know whether it was the time (it was around, 9, 9 and coins) so it may have been a little bit too late or due to COVID, but no weddings were in place. We finally arrived to the Little White Chapel, the original, unique one that has the Elvis sign, the drive-thru and the proud sign that states how Michael Jordan and Joan Collins got married there. We were so bummed to found only a very young, very dull couple getting married (she was wearing black, hence, that is all you need to know) and there was not a very jolly, merry spirit. Still, we managed to hang out with the best men and got a picture of two to remember this fail attempt to crush this very much lame wedding. Up we went to the Bellagio, checking out what was missing from Sin City: the Wynn Hotel, Route 515, 51 and the Famous Welcome to Las Vegas Sign.
We wrapped this unique experience witnessing an amazing, full moon in the middle of the desert, with a massive and delicious full on breakfast at Sadelle’s, a little piece of home in our far-away-from home hotel.
Till next time, Vegas! You were great fun!
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Weekly SEO Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 320
youtube
Click on the video above to watch Episode 320 of the Semantic Mastery Hump Day Hangouts.
Full timestamps with topics and times can be found at the link above.
The latest upcoming free SEO Q&A Hump Day Hangout can be found at http://semanticmastery.com/humpday.
Announcement
All right, everybody. Welcome. Welcome. We are switching things up a little bit today. So it’s kind of fun. We got, as always some fun technical stuff going on in the background. But we are going to kick things off while the guys get that sorted out. And this is the last Hump Day hangouts of 2020. So if you hate it, 2020 That’s great. It’s on its way out. If you have an okay time, that’s great time to celebrate. good year. And regardless, like I said, this can be the last one. This is Episode 320. It is the 30th of December 2020. And we are going to get to your guys’s questions, we’ve got a few announcements. I don’t know about you, if you’re watching or the guys here today, I had a pretty good Christmas is nice. I’m tired of being stuck inside, but I’m happy to at least the world didn’t end and we’ve got 48 hours. So hopefully I didn’t Jinx myself here. 24 hours. But we’re gonna get into it and say hi to everyone real quick. And then we’ll dive into it. So I’m just gonna go clockwise here, Marco. You’re first on the list here. How you doing?
Good. Costa Rica. Costa Rica, it’s still Sunny, still warm? I can’t help it. What’s up, man? And I just realized, I don’t say this enough.
Fuck Google.
Happy New Year. I need to say that more often, is the type type of results we’re getting are ridiculous. They’re ridiculous. And they’re being shared.
I’m sharing in our free groups on Facebook, check us out guys. I’m sharing images. The how to is only shared in every hit or club. or using all of our methods, all of Semantic Mastery methods put together whatever is available in mg y b.co. That’s how we’re doing it. That’s how we’re getting results. That’s how we’re killing it. That’s how we’re taking a brand new GMB or a brand new SEO shield, G site drive stack and getting results within 30 days. That’s how with our method is that simple. And I know it’s simplistic and you guys want something that’s more complex. Yeah. spread over. It’s not sexy enough, man. I mean, let me let me take Oh, no.
That’s not sexy enough, either. Man. I don’t know. I don’t know what else to say. Anyway, the charity webinars are coming up getting it all set up getting getting everything finalized, I’ll put the donations page on the on the chat guys and on the page, so that it’s available you have to do is donate, then send a copy of your donation to the email address that’s posted.
And we will take care of you you will get an invitation to that webinar and all of the following webinars. For the donation, you can have access to the prior recordings. And so you can see everything how everything that we’ve been telling you for the past, what three, four years has come to pass how everything we’ve been saying, this is what’s going on. This is what’s going to be happening. And this is what’s this is what’s going on from here. You can see it here and Hump Day hangouts like every week, we’re telling you entities, entity based, worry less SEO, we don’t worry about Google of this. We don’t care about Google, we just go and apply our methods. I don’t know some sexy, it’s not difficult. It’s not complex, that doesn’t require much thinking at all it requires is for you to go and buy. Imagine that. But here’s the thing, when they’re working with complexity, and getting you into that mode where you don’t really understand it, but it sounds so good that you have to buy it. But guess what he just bought anyway, he probably bought something that’s not going to work. So you’ll be buying something else and something else and something else. Rather than do that. Go and buy the shit that’s working. It’s all I gotta say.
Fair enough. All right, and I’m just gonna hop down Marco. I think we’ll come back and remind people what they need to do for the charity webinars, but we’ll circle back around to that Bradley, how you doing today? why don’t why aren’t we seeing your face. Um, I’m at my favorite campground in trailhead. with some friends we’re bringing in the New Year riding ATVs for the next three days. And so I’m unlimited bandwidth because I’m tethered through my mobile phone so that’s why I’m not running my video cuz I don’t want to make audio choppy, but so like ready to give 2020 the middle finger on the way out.
So So Marco said fuck Google. I say fuck 2020 but well, hey, did you have a good holidays? I did. I did. I had a really good time. My my daughter she’s, in fact, it’s crazy. My daughter’s 15 and a half. And on Monday, which was the 28th she took her learner’s permit test for her driver’s license, and so the next time I have her, which is next weekend, we’re gonna go start driving. So I’m gonna start teaching my daughter how to drive. So that’s a pretty big milestone. Yeah, that’s nuts. I think when we started doing this, your daughter was like nine. And I think like she was in the background or something. You know? Yeah, like, That’s nuts to hear that stuff, man. She’s a young woman now. Yeah.
Well, Chris, how are things going in Austria?
bingos ate too much bacon here.
But yeah, I guess everybody had too much food or Christmas salad. And that was pretty good. With a bit of a bigger storm yesterday. I think 140 kilometers per hour. Not sure how many miles that is. But like, was quite a night.
Other than that, doing pretty good here, but it’s good. Now again, and yeah, only thing that I’m missing is like the slopes.
We’ll see. We’ll see how long it takes that the the letters out there.
Last but not least are nine How you doing, man?
And man, I’m excited to be here. I’m excited for 2021 we have some good stuff coming up. Definitely, you know, excited for that. 2020 was pretty good. Like, honestly, you know, despite all the craziness, we were able to keep going with Semantic Mastery, we were able to keep serving you guys. That was a big win, at least in my opinion. You know, a lot of people were struggling and a lot of people were were trying to figure it out stuff. But you know, and we weren’t short of obstacles and challenges and everything else. But I think it was a pretty good, pretty good year. And I’m really looking forward to for 2021. So thank you guys for supporting us throughout this entire year. For all of you guys watching for all of you guys subscribing, you know going to the to the sites sharing and all of that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And yeah, see guys in 2021 really excited for that?
Well, before we get into it, like I said, we got a couple short announcements, just put it on the page. If you’re watching the replay, it may not still be in effect. But you can always go to semanticmastery.com/HDquestions to find out what I’m talking about here. And what I did was drop the links to both Semantic Mastery and MGYB. We got some awesome holiday deals going on. I’m not going to sit here and run down the list. But there are a lot of really good deals. Let me pull this up, I think Yeah, we’ve got up to 40% discounts going on. limited time this is going to be over in two to three days. So if you’re interested in checking that out, again, both for Semantic Mastery and MGYB. Check that out. And then you can always head over to heavy hitters club dot club to find out more about heavy hitters club.
Marco, let’s kind of loop back to you if people are interested in either donating or the charity webinars which they have to donate go to anyways, yeah, what do they need to do?
Well, I’ve posted the link to the donation page. Just scroll down or just look for it. I posted it also last week, you go there and you donate. And I’m going to say it again, your heart is going to tell you whether you donate if your move to donate, then your wallet is going to dictate how much I never set an amount. I never say you must donate this much. I just do whatever you can find pucks as a cup of coffee guys. Buy five bucks is a cup of coffee, how many cups of coffee? Do you drink a week that you don’t really have to you just don’t have something better to so you go grab a cup of coffee, right? You can’t do that I can’t go to the local Starbucks like you used to. But I mean, think of the things that were you spent five bucks on 10 bucks on where you know, that can make a really big difference towards like taking a kid off the streets, away from drugs away from prostitution, away from the fucking pimps and the drug dealers analogy and get them on their road to pull focus, we can put them we can play some if they get through the whole program at a good paying job a good paying tech job, right? Not managers, because they’re overloaded with managers, but they need the people who can actually do the work and that the system is put everything together actually connect the wire. Like you can have 10 mabhida Stadium out there there are watching that one guy up there. Look, that looks really good. But somebody has to get up there and do it. And the manager sure is fucking not going to get up there and do it. And so they get paid really well. These are good paying jobs that we get them into great training. Some have started even their own companies from this doing this right for small businesses. So it kind of it mushrooms, and then the people who are successful, we bring them back to the community so that so that the community leaders so that the young children can see them they can see Oh, fuck, there’s another way to do this. I don’t have to follow the pimp or the drug dealer. I don’t have to do that. I don’t have to live that lifestyle. There’s something else that I have that I can look forward to. And yes, we do lose a lot of them right.
I’m not gonna say we don’t like nine out of 10. But I’m not focusing on the losses because I like we did everything that we could, for that focusing on that one that we can save. And then hopefully, like next time, it can be two out of 10. And then next time maybe can be three out of 10. So the struggle is real, if people have absolutely nothing, and when I say nothing, I mean nothing, literally choosing. I said that before between buying soap so they can wash their hands and maintain their hygiene or buying rice to have something to eat, if you had that fucking choice. I mean, think about this. Christmas just passed, I said this. Also, there are people who won’t tell their children that Christmas just asked or that it was Christmas, because they have nothing to give their children. So you’re left with that with the choice of not being able to tell your child again, it’s Christmas. And, and other people are getting presents and other people are eating and having fun. But we don’t have shit. So we can’t celebrate it.
It’s real, man. It’s real. It’s fucking rough. And so if it’s in your heart to donate, please go donate. And the way that we give back is we not only give these these great webinars where we tell you exactly what’s working right now and what will be working. We give away great prizes. You guys volunteered your time you guys are going to give a what do you call it? An hour of your time, for whatever the people need. I know that I know that you personally, Adam donated your time to help someone set up the email series and I’m getting all that together. Bradley volunteered, I know Hernan volunteered and so did Chris and I’ll volunteer my time. And all of the other people who are coming on will also volunteer so there is that they think if you do it just for the chance to win one of those prizes that the more power to do it for that reason and that reason only but donate.
sounds good. Yeah. And if you’re not watching this live again, just come over to semanticmastery.com/HDquestions and get the links there. Everything there in case you can’t find it. And worst case scenario, you know, shoot an email to [email protected] hit us up, ask what you need know, and we will get you hooked up. So I’m not sure who’s driving the questions today. But I’m gonna hand this off, we’re gonna dive into the questions and have a drink delivered to me on the side here. So cheers to everyone on the call as well as watching. Hope the rest of the remainder of your year goes well turned on, I’m going to ask for you to share the screen and scroll through questions if you don’t mind.
For sure, let me close a lot of all of the stuff that I had an appropriate stuff. Okay. So safer work stuff. Yeah, the Yeah, we need to add an R for a chart that stuff on. Okay, so I need to prove I’m not a robot.
I can also just share a browser tab with like a separate browser. Yeah, that was that, you know, yeah, no, no, that’s not gonna let you see the comments because of minute chat. Is that what you mean? Yeah, so Okay, so I think it’s all right. Yeah. So let me share my screen now.
Hi, can you make it bigger? Yes.
Sweet. All right. That’s where we at. Okay, back down just slightly. I think we’re close right there.
Do You Need To Add Another SEO Shield For A New Location With A new Verified GMB?
Okay, so he says, Hey, guys, I purchased an SEO shield from you guys and did some citation voting along with a GMB and website. We just added a new location with a new verified GMB for the new location in a different city. Do I need to add to the current SEO shield or purchase one for the new location? Great question.
Use the RYS expansion. Right. So if you go to MGYB.co to go to the store, and you’ll see the RYS expansion. That’s what you want to use. Because for multi location businesses, there’s there’s a couple of different ways to do it. I’m going to tell you how I prefer and and I would love to hear Marcos commentary about what what he what he thinks. But the way that I do it is the SEO shield should be like when you ordered an SEO shield, I always ordered an SEO power shield for a new project for the brand itself, right? So that’s gonna establish the entity and the the the Google stack, the G site, all of that for the main brand itself. And then for every top level silo, right, so whatever silos your sites have, so again, for service area businesses, typically you’re going to have silos for whatever your services are.
And that’s the type of businesses that I deal with. But there’s also location there can be location silos depending on how you structure your site, but for every one of whatever silos that it
I’m doing I always use an RYS expansion, because that becomes a sub folder of the primary drive stack branded folder. Right. So again, it’s we talked about this Semantic Mastery all the time fi mirroring, right? The mirroring was a term coined by network Empire originally. But what that means is whatever the structure is of your primary website, you want to mirror that with your drive, stack your G site and everything else that you do, right, we talked about that with blog posts, GMB posts, press releases all of that, but just getting back to the drive stack itself. So for every topical silo or service based silo, if it’s a service area business, you’re going to want an RYS expansion. Right. And then also, for every location, the same thing. So when you order, like if you have a multi location business, and I have several that I work with, and so what I do is set up the brand, the original RYS stack for the brand. And, and to be honest, I don’t even worry about an association with a single keyword on the front end anymore for for multi location businesses, I just set up the branded stack originally. And then I go in and set up or order additional RYS expansion stacks for every topical silo or location silo, or both. As I do it for both, let’s put it let’s be clear. So in other words, for service based silos, which would be like, again, for tree services, I talked about tree removal, tree trimming, those are the two primary silos for a tree service business. So I have an RYS expansion, one targeting the tree removal keyword set, and one targeting tree trimming keyword set. And then if I have multiple locations, so let’s say I’ve got five locations, every location will have an additional rfis expansion stack targeted for that particular location. And when you place that order, it gives you the opportunity to enter your NAP details, right name, address and phone number, so location details for that. And that becomes a sub folder of the primary brand, that’s the way that you want to do it. There’s also the location shield, I think that’s slightly different, I don’t typically use that for multi location businesses, because that creates a separate g site for the location. And what we have, and again, I’m Marco is going to come up and give his uh, his input on this as well. But what I’ve learned from Marco and Rob, is to use the primary branded asset, the G site, and the RYS stack as the main source, right, like the the primary source of power, and everything else that you build within that stack should be a sub folder, right? So essentially connected to that. So Marco, what do you say?
Ah, looking through that, Okay, so here’s what we’ve always recommended.
Your local is relative. So let’s remember that, because then once once you’re going once you’re focusing on that you no longer focus it focused on location, you no longer you no longer have one thing in mind, when you’re doing that we do it is focusing on your city, so that you could then branch out to multilocation because what most people do is they automatically like plumber in DC. That was a case study that we did if you go and look, it’s probably still number number one in in maps, but we had to push so much power to that, that it became the entity for the keyword DC plumber and plumber in DC. Right so in order to avoid that and and in order to be able to expand outside of the DC area, what we said is well wait a minute, if we do a better job of branding and if we do a better job of entity validation I creation validation, verification and validation, then we should be able to just create a brand, whatever and this is thinking about brands like Google and Yahoo, and Sony and Samsung and whatever it is that you want to think about the big big big companies Amazon, where it started out as a bookstore and now it’s like your neighborhood grocery store you can go pick up anything in Amazon and I mean anything and so they did such a good job of branding that the Amazon is no longer a rain forest and it’s no longer a river Amazon is a place where you go and buy shit you buy good shit right or you can go buy cheap Chinese shit that if that’s what you’re cheap shit from all over the world. But think about that. So focusing on that and focusing on brand focusing on entity then it allows you to set up whatever name XYZ and you will probably use the part of the cube because it just fits especially in the Home Services niche. You use your your tree pros right Bradley in in whatever is that you do. But that just makes sense. DC plumber, we use the plumber row in the Home Services niche, think of roto rooter.
It’s related to the niche offers, but not necessarily that and they just do a really good job of branding. So that’s what we have to look at when you when you focus on that, what you can do in that branded stack is create that brand plus keyword relationship.
So that it leaves you free to create an inner stack, which then focuses on location. That’s the location stack. Now you can you can request the location stack without an additional g site, where we just expand the existing branded stack. I mean, we’re willing to accommodate you in many different ways. Or you can just order an expansion stack. That’s location and keyword drip. Right? So if you’re in DC, and then you want to go into Alexandria, you come and ask us, for Alexandria plumber, for example, if that’s your focus and everything that’s that’s related to plumber in Alexandria, whatever it is that we can find if we’re doing the keyword research. So that’s the way that we’ve been teaching to do it, then the next city becomes a target for that, but always within the same branded t site and drive stack. Because we want to add power to that you don’t see Amazon and and Google. But you do sometimes. But what they first did is they accrued so much power in the route that now they’re able to create something like like, like they’re busy, Google My Business website, in something separate from them, but it’s always linking to Google.
So what we want is we want that, that relationship and that relevance within that JSON and drive stack. And you should be doing the same thing with with your money site, if you have a TLD domain, right? I top whatever, whatever the top level, I’m sorry, I forget. But it’s just the.com, the dot net the.org. Right, if you have a TLD. It could be even be a doc club, we’re ranking realty would write ranking, just all kinds of stuff, it doesn’t have to be dot com dot net or dot org anymore. At anyway, the point behind all this is that you focus all of your power in one place, and you keep adding power to that place. That’s what we do with the additional drive stacks. With the the extensions, we add pages to that that are they can focus on a city, or they can focus on services, and city or city and services. It’s how we do it and how I’ve been teaching it since we first started, which is what now we’re working on six years man, that that we’ve been doing that. But that’s the way to do it focus all of your power within one ecosystem, the same way that Google does it the same way, or has done it. Same way that Amazon does it and everybody else in the space, you don’t see them going and building so long as it’s related different websites for different things. Not if it’s one parent company, look at Apple and how they do it. That is a fantastic case study to look at, on how they branded the hell out of out of their website, and their company, how branding is all out there, and how they set up their website so that they focus all of the power and all of the energy with it within one ecosystem, instead of having a goal all Helter Skelter all over the place. And then you have to work out your schema on how this all fits together. How you have one parent and all of these children who are separate websites yet part of the same brand, it becomes just mind boggling how you have to do that, rather than if you just focus on this one thing. One dry stack, one g site, and you build power on that and you keep building on it. You don’t just stop you keep building on it. Yeah, simplify, right? Yeah, move that addition to all that complexity. We’re trying to add different web assets and all that it’s much better. That’s so just to clarify, that’s what I was getting back to was.
What I do with the branded stacks now, like whenever I’m starting a new project is I don’t even when I order the original SEO power shield, I don’t like what I just I even put this in the instructions. When I place the orders, I just want it branded like I’m not trying to create that keyword association with the original stack in some projects that may be feasible. But in a lot of my projects, what I do is just now create the branded stack for like originally the G site in the in the drive stack, or just optimized for the brand itself, because I’m going to build the site structure with all of the top level keywords as their own separate silos. So then I just go in and order arise expansions for each top level silo or location. Because the way that I build location silos are, again, they’re kind of the same thing. So so that’s what I’m getting at it, what Marco was saying was, it’s about building that brand, right? Google rewards the brand and you build the authority into the brand. And then you can build out the expansion stacks, which become sub folders and sub pages, essentially, or inner pages of the G site and sub folders of the drive stack. And so again, you mirror that same kind of structure that you have on your primary website, within your entity assets. And that’s really what works. It works incredibly well. So that’s a really good question. All right, so we’re gonna move on next rocket blaster comes up. He says, No, hang on. We miss. We miss one. Yes, we did. Okay.
I can’t locate it. Oh, yeah. The GMB listing question from Roger glass.
Yeah, that’s what I was getting at. That was the next one.
Okay, go ahead. Sorry. Well done with the previous question, correct. No, we never.
No, no, go up. Sorry, scroll up. Because he added that he added that question before Gfall. Does a question. No. Now you don’t see it, because I’m seeing it right after. Oh, sorry. Because one more up.
He reposted it from last week. Go ahead and scroll up above Wayne, though. Yeah, that one. rockin black cuz he added it from last week. He added it again. So it’s there twice. For me.
How To Dominate In Multiple Cities With GMB Listings And Free Website From Google?
I have plenty of GMB listings. Do you see it? We didn’t answer that. Yeah, I see it. But that was from seven days ago. But go ahead, answer it.
Well, he says I plan the GMB listings for towing services all in a 100 mile radius with no websites just using free the free website from Google that the business site that they give you. What should I do to dominate each city my Google listings are in, I want to rank all the GM B’s that are in prime cities, what MGYB products should I purchase? and in what order? Thank you.
Well, that’s I mean, that’s as simple as that we’ve set up the ordering process for your order, the SEO shield, I mean, we just discuss it. So this guy kind of went backwards for default, because what you would do is if it’s already branded as a single towing service, right, so your company is, I don’t know, tours, whatever we call, however it is that you’ve branded it, you would then go in order, the SEO power shield, which gets you that g set and that drive stack that’s focused on your brand. And then you would order an expansion for each one of the cities that you’re looking to go into the MGYB process, the SEO shield, and in fact that if you can, if you can put in there, the the SEO shield.com, which is free training, and it tells you how the how the process works. And at the end of that, as a matter of fact, we give you a coupon, you go through the process, we give you a coupon so that you can order your SEO shield from mg IV, but we just talked about it in detail for g4, I just want to get back to that because he posted it twice, or I see it twice on my screen. That’s what you would do. That’s the I mean, we set up the order. It’s not as if you order the SEO shield, and you get it all back at once. No, you’ll get the syndication network, you’ll get the drive second D site and you get the ad ID. Each time something is built, it gets delivered to you and you get notified about it.
Very cool. All right. So now we’re on to rocket buses. First question.
Can You Host Multiple Websites In One Google Account?
It says, Can you have multiple websites all being hosted under one account? So I guess one hosting how maybe, example, if I had 20 domains under one account? Would that be a problem in the eyes of Google? No dependent? Well? I mean, it depends. It always depends, right? It depends on what it is that you’re doing with them. So for example, if you had 20 domains all hosted on one, you know, IP address from one hosting account, you were using them as like a private blog network or link network to boost the, you know, to build links to one of the sites within that same hosting account, then yeah, that’s a huge footprint, that can cause a problem. But if you’ve got separate 20 sites that are like separate entities all you know, in and of themselves, then there’s there shouldn’t be a problem with that. Like it. Honestly, it just depends on what you’re doing with that. If you’re trying to use multiple domains to manipulate your SEO or your search positioning, then yes, that’s a problem. But if you have separate 20 separate websites that are really unrelated, or doesn’t matter whether they’re related or unrelated, but you’re not using them in a way to try to manipulate search positioning, then that shouldn’t be a problem at all. I don’t know maybe I’m not interpreting the question correctly. What do you say?
You can have a VPS and assign an IP to each one of those. Yeah, 20 domains. But I mean, you have to go through so much trouble for hiding the damn footprint.
Not how we do it, if those like, like Bradley said, have their separate domains for separately? Well, I have a little several client VPS. And I have several clients on one VPS. And that’s never been a problem because that’d be that that’s what hosting is shared hosting is a bunch of domains on one server, the server just gets divided, right? It gets divisions and it gets files installed in the server. So I’ve never seen a problem with that. The problem becomes when you start interlinking those and start trying to manipulate, manipulate Google, and Google catches the PBN, because then that gets the index. And as a matter of fact, it doesn’t even like nowadays, your your links just get devalued to the point where they become almost useless.
And it’s the the distance graph takes over. And and it just, you see diminishing return. So you have to go back and you have to keep working on those websites to keep them active activity, relevance, trust, and authority. If any of those things are missing from those 20 domains where you’re trying to manipulate, then you get diminishing return. That’s how it works. It’s really simple. The way that Google Google set that up.
How Does Dynamic Content Work?
Okay, so we’ll is up well, What’s up, buddy? He says, How does dynamic content work? I have a client that ranks for multiple locations using content from a dotnet database to feed the respective location fields and the page content dynamically. pages are all dot ASP x. At the bottom of the home page, they have listed about 60 locations. When you click on the city, the database fills out the appropriate content. Every single page looks like its content except the for the location content. So probably the location modifier itself, or specific content for that location. However, this website is not getting penalized with duplicate content, and ranking for a lot of locations. Why?
Well, Marco, that sounds like a really good question for you. Because that is touching upon the duplicate content myth or fallacy. You’re off? Yeah. Yeah, it’s it’s so crazy. Well, people are still believing that there’s such a thing as duplicate content. And there’s idiot, excuse me. There are experts and gurus and ninjas out there teaching that there’s such a thing as duplicate content, and that duplicate content can harm it.
I tell you what I did on Thanksgiving Day, a little bit before actually. We started working on that. And we decided we’re going to we’re going to tackle a really competitive niche. So what did I do, I went and got together fiber I can remember was five or six articles, literally copy pasted from the number one site and from the the most authoritative site in the niche. So the number one site may not be the most authoritative, by the way. So I went and got the content and put it all together, slapped it on the D site, took content from that, put it in a in a in posts in the GMB and you guys saw the results I’m sharing it in in the free groups, or free groups and in Facebook, because I want to do away with the fallacy with the myth that there’s such a thing as duplicate content, and duplicate content can harm you, you can rank better than the people who originally posted the content. By the way, whether it’s ethical is what that’s the question altogether. I did it for the express purpose of proving that there’s no such thing as duplicate content, and that you can rank just as well or even better with so called duplicate content, the content will be rewritten at some point. So that it’s original. So the question is original content, and then copies of that content, and how well that works. What works really well. And and mass page, creating websites would not work. If there was such a thing as duplicate content, and press releases would not work if there was such a thing as duplicate content, and places that aggregate content being nothing but MSN, Yahoo, Huffington Post, all of these places, all they do is they aggregate content. They take content all over the web, and they rank with it. So how in the hell can there be duplicate content that can be one and two, in this case, where you’re delivering content dynamically, all you’re doing is working with you tokenizing. So you can do this even with with a WordPress plugin, where you have the same template, and all you’re doing is flipping out the place names. And you can do perfectly what would that would that’s called a mass page creator. Also, that’s all it does is tokenizing certain parts of the content and replacing it with the dynamic content dynamic, meaning that that’s the part of the content that changes. You have the static, right which is what you’re what you’re seeing us are you considering duplicate, and then you have that the dynamic that’s delivered through a call, according to maybe the person’s IP, I mean, you make, there are so many choices that you can make, or so many options on how to deliver that dynamic content. We’re doing that with with schema, we built the plugin for to deliver schema dynamically according to the products that aren’t paid. So we just pull the information through through the token. So through the variables, actually, why is it ranking because Google is considering that it’s authoritative? Google if it has activity, relevance, just a trusted authority. And I’ve always said and this is a perfect example, the art of art beat anything that there is an overcomes any sort of penalty or negativity that you can think of from Google, the art of art activity, relevance, trust and authority.
What Are Tiered Social Signals?
Split sweet and we have the real BB is up next, he is asking his multiple questions as we would expect.
Hi, guys, number one, what is tiered social signals? Is that just tiered IFTTT rings now and in fact, tiered IFTTT rings aren’t really tiered social signals anyways. And we never claimed that they were tiered social signals would be like, for example, if you published a blog post and somebody worked to share that blog post URL to their Facebook profile or page or whatever. And then multiple people would start commenting on that Facebook share, or sharing that Facebook post, which was just a share of a blog post URL to begin with. That would be tiered. Right. So I mean, again, think about what tier it is tiered link building, for example, would be like, if you have a piece of content, you build links to it. That’s tier one links. If you build links to those tier one links, that’s tier two links, right? That make sense? So again, tiered social signals is it’s the same concept as tiered link building. It’s just with social signals. And IFTTT rings or syndication networks, essentially, they can kind of produce like a, like an initial mimicking of tiered social signals. But it’s the actual social engagement that makes tiered social signals effective, if that makes sense.
Can The SEO Shield Compete With WebMD?
So number two, can the SEO Shield compete with WebMD? Excuse me? Can the shield so he’s talking about can the SEO Shield compete with WebMD, have only ever succeeded with that. So that’s a good question for you, Marco.
Yeah, no. I said it. No, it. All right. Come on, man. If you want to go take on Amazon, then you better have the budget to take on Amazon. You want to take on Google, you better have the budget to take on Google. I’m sorry, but the question is ridiculous. No, the fuck you cannot compete with me? How long have they been around? They’re the trusted, authoritative source on the web. So right off the bat is that this this goes back to the Toronto DUI attorney to post. I didn’t write my two posts for Toronto DUI attorney. What the fuck you do? Of course, you didn’t have the fucking you’re expected to you don’t have you haven’t established the relevance. The trust the authority or the activity to compete with WebMD and WebMD didn’t start out competing with whoever it was that they were competing with. Amazon. If you think back on Amazon, when they started up, Jeff Bezos lost money, and millions and millions and millions of dollars.
I mean, every year he report a loss and a loss because he started out with just a bookstore. I remember seeing him and I never Yeah, we lost money. I think it was 100 million or 75 million. And yet, people were gobbling up the shares of the company. I don’t know if you guys remember that people just gobbling up up the shares that Amazon was offering. Now, they didn’t become the go to place in the ecom. Right niche until Well, after they dumped millions and millions of dollars into this endeavor. Google didn’t start out beating Yahoo and whoever and Netscape and whoever else was around. At that time, Google came out trying to compete, but they had millions in budget they did the IPO and and millions more to reinvest into the company. So if you’re thinking, I’m going to order at 300 and I think it’s three, I don’t know $250-$300 product and take over where WebMD is. You know, do, don’t stop stop it. You started your celebration early.
What you can do is you can do what we’re doing in the econ in our ecommerce a case study, and Rob is doing HVAC. By the way, what we’re sharing in the heavy hitter club which is you go after a sector in the niche, we did it with with
Fuck, I don’t want to say the niche. We did it with an ecommerce case study as a matter of fact dedhia. Yeah. And his client, where instead of taking on Amazon directly, he went after a vertical in Amazon. And I think he took it he took the client from, I don’t know 10-12 million to almost 30 million.
But the client had the money to invest. It wasn’t just Okay, let’s do an SEO show. Let me how many millions I’m going to make, it doesn’t happen that way. We tell you, you do as little work as you have to do for maximum return. But that sometimes means we have to do press releases. That sometimes means that we have to look like link building expansions, and everything else that we have to do to compete. If you want to go after WebMD, that’s a billion dollar company and it’s going to require that kind of investment. What you need to focus on is a vertical in WebMD and see how you can start ranking in that and making money in that and then reinvesting it so that you can then challenge within the for that vertical before you go to the next one. And the next one.
I don’t think it’s logical to think that one SEO shield is going to allow you to take over from where WebMD is are aware with MDF.
What Is Going With The New eCommerce Stuff You Do?
Right on Okay, so what is the next question? Because I am not seeing it. Standby? Oh, that go back up there? I’m sorry. So BB is asking thanks for none, by the way. Baby is asking what is going on with the new ecommerce stuff you do before? How long do you had to shoot? We’re still working on that. BB River. None of us have been ecommerce guys. You know, I think all of us have done various like contributions to e commerce projects over the years. But none of us have specialized in any of that or done any of that as like a you know, any of our major projects. So, but recently, Hernan and Adam went in partnership together with an e commerce site. So we are looking at doing a case study with our methods applied to that. And so that’s something that can’t even give you an estimate on when that, you know, case study will be available, because it’s new to us. So give us some time, we’ll share details when we have it. Anybody want to comment on that? Yeah, we’ve got we’re gonna potentially start during the beginning, like early January, we’re going to start applying stuff and documenting, we’re already documenting the paid side of things, and the email side of things. And then we will start documenting the SEO and everything like that in early January.
Okay, Marco, anything. Yeah, as I said, we’re sharing it in the heavy hitter club. And you guys have seen the results of it. And it’s a lot easier to rank than it is to monetize. Because I mean, we needed a you need a bank account to start monetizing. So we had to create the company to create the bank account, to create the bank account to be able to get in, for example, Amazon, or whatever, to be able to make money from it. But you guys see me, baby, just go to the free group, the images are there, I’m sharing the results in there, you don’t even have to pay for them. You can see those the results are there. And you can’t argue with the data that Google gives you now monetizing that once we have the bank account in place that we can get all of these into all of these different affiliate offers and see where we start making money. Or maybe we get so much traffic, that it makes sense to run either media dotnet or AdSense, add them and monetize it that way or monetize it with a combination of, of ads by display ads and affiliate offers. But the first thing is, of course you have to rank in, you have to get in there. And we’re already seeing that. So now the next thing is just adding some nice buttons to get people to take action, and we will be sharing those. But that will be shared in the paid groups. It will not be available for free. Yeah, because it’s not free to us to do all of these things. If you require money to start a company, you’re required money to fund the bank account. And all of the different things that we’re doing the SEO shields are not free to us. Because even though it’s a lower cost, we have to invest our time into it and my time is expensive. And so I would say that for the first year. I don’t expect to net a penny from this effort, but after after the first year, so I’m willing to make to make the long term commitment to this. I see this as as really, it’s a billion dollar niche that we’re in. And I’m already seeing good results. And we’re and we’re 30 days into the case study, I would put that in, in the wind column any day of the week, twice on Sunday.
Right on so that the follow up question was, how much traffic? What was the profit was what was the actual investment? Again, maybe we’ll share more details when we have details to share about that particular project, which right now, we don’t have details to share.
How Long Do You Think The SEO Shield Will Hold On?
So next was how long do you think the SEO shield will hold on? That’s a good question. Ah, well, it’s going on six years now.
So Marco, what do you think? Like, we don’t know, we don’t control Google, when they take away G sites and dry stacks. We’ll focus on something else right now. It’s working really well, it’s been working really well. And I mean, the whole foundation of G sites and dry stacks are not fat, the content is that the images, it’s whether you guys know, it’s the iframe. So when Google takes away YouTube, and the ability to embed, then we might lose whatever it is that we’re doing until then, we could just go somewhere else, Google takes me t sites, and Dr. sec, will just go somewhere else and build them. And and it’s that simple. We can drive power from other places, other people are already doing it.
And so it’s not as if it’s a what he call, it’s a great big secret. What you can that you can do these things that you can iframe that you can embed, and that you can link build, as long as everything works through links. Guys, let me tell you, quantum is a long way away. Okay. They’re making progress in leaps and bounds, but it’s still a long way away.
Once we’re in quantum, it’s going to take a while until you can teleport yet, you can actually teleport in quantum from one server to the other. And until then, what we’re going to have is a connection from one server to the other. All Google is is a server that has to connect to another server. And that’s done through links, the way that you collect connect to nodes on the web, and especially the way that Google works, the PageRank. And ranking score algorithm is you can make two nodes through an HTML hyperlink. And you measure the distance from one authoritative source to the other, and how close you are to that authoritative, trusted source on the web. That’s how you develop a PageRank. And rankings for until that changes is money. It’s money. And it doesn’t matter whether the Oh shield and the FPL shield, the way that is conceptualized now, whether Google changes, something that might change the SEO shield will just change and adapt them and go right along, I don’t see anything hurting what we’re doing, which is entity based. So if you’re focusing on the SEO shield, you’re already focused incorrectly, because I’m talking about entity based, worry less SEO.
There you go.
What Are The Biggest SEO Opportunities For 2021?
Okay, so the next question, sorry, I lost the screen again. Alright, so baby was asking about the SEO 2021 forecasts. And I think Iowa SEO was also asking about that. And a question further down. So in, you know, Marco is the SEO guru of our group, I would love to hear what his thoughts are about SEO for 2021. But I can tell you what my thoughts are, as kind of somebody that straddles both SEO and paid traffic now, because of you know, arts right activity, relevance, trust and authority. And so much of that can be accomplished with paid traffic now, and I’m all in on paid traffic, because of what I’ve been able to achieve recently, in the last, you know, month or two with YouTube ads, especially they but Google Ads period that the audience targeting is like it is just the the amount of improvement that has occurred within Google Ads with audience targeting, intent based targeting and that kind of stuff is it’s just incredible. And it has opened up a lot of doors for my own business, my own agency. In fact, I’m working on the biggest project, digital marketing project that I’ve ever worked on in my entire career right now, which I can’t disclose any of those details right now. But it is the biggest project I’ve ever worked on, and I’m trying to systematize it so that it will be a major, you know, cornerstone of Semantic Mastery in our training, at least for the mastermind anyways, so and what I see as a huge opportunity in 2021 is utilizing the opportunities that Google gives us with both SEO but also with paid traffic to really manipulate ART, right? Our activity, relevance, trust and authority. And it’s like they’re giving us the keys of the kingdom. And with YouTube and display network ads, especially you can buy very, very inexpensive traffic engagement signals, essentially, from highly targeted, highly relevant audiences. These are Google users that Google has placed in buckets that you know, defined audiences. Or you can define your own audiences using custom audiences. And, you know, we’ve been experimenting me particularly I’ve been experimenting with using paid traffic to augment SEO efforts for the last couple of years. And within the last few months, especially I’ve seen significant progress because of the audience targeting improvements the Google Ads is made. So for me, I’m going more and more into paid ads for 2021 as a to complement my SEO efforts, I’m not minimizing or reducing any of this stuff that we’re doing with semantic mastery methods as far as entity based SEO, what Margo and Rob are discovering and you know, developing for entity based SEO is absolutely critical for 2021. But using paid traffic to to augment all of that, I think is really that that’s kind of the direction that I’m going in for 2021. more of that will come out reveal more of that, and that in the coming months. Marco, what do you say?
I mean, as far as SEO is concerned, AI is going to continue playing a bigger and bigger role, but it’s nothing to be scared of. All it is is code. It’s code looking for variable, we can feed it the variables we want, which is what we do. That’s what heavy heavy the heavy hitter club is focused on. And and as a matter of fact, the SEO shield our ys Academy, our academy reloaded has always focused on the fact that I understood as soon as Google said, We want the bot to learn we’re coding the bot to learn the bot is coded to learn, well, I understood well, fuck if it if it if it’s coded to learn, then it’s going to need variables and I can feed it the variables that I want to have it understand what I wanted to understand that this is the big problem with AI is that it has human coders who cannot predict how that code is going to be used. So understanding that and understanding how Google is coding the AI to learn and how the AI is then set loose.
Unknown Speaker 52:38
To fill in the variables for everything, especially the the entities, and how we can then form this entity ourselves and and create what’s part of that entity? And what’s a valid part of the entity More importantly, then it’s just I don’t know, it’s a done deal. It’s a slam dunk, because then we can create our own entities the way that we see it. And we can fit the mold better because we’re creating the entity are we adding to the entity and the variables that Google will be looking for and where others are missing it? And we’re not is where we’ll be able to really make a dent in the space we’ll be really be able to make a difference in those spaces where people are just not filling in the blanks like we are filling in the variable and giving Google the variables that it’s looking for.
Beautiful, thank you. Okay, so the next question.
Is The GMB Service Coming Back On MGYB?
Scroll down a little bit. Hernan please. Is the GMB service coming back to MGYB? I don’t know. I can’t answer that. Maybe Marco has a better answer. But Marco, what do you think we’re working on it? Yeah. It’s difficult guys, because of you know, all the changes Google’s making and sometimes they’re on a you know, Warpath or rampage. And so it’s just it’s difficult. They’re trying to combat spam, which I don’t blame them. So Jim does those damn spammers. Yeah. Jim says, Hey, gang, I have a really quick question. probably obvious question, should the branded drive stack use a company’s primary Gmail address? Does this put the account at risk? Thanks, I hope everyone is having a safe holiday season. No, it’s not necessary, you know, again, so if you order a drive stack, or, you know, SEO Power Suite, or whatever, from us, we’ll go out and create it with a brand new Gmail account that we set up. And that’s perfectly fine. What we suggest is, and typically, like, for example, every for every project now that I set up, I always set up a G Suite account or now it’s called Google workspace, right used to be G Suite, but now it’s workspace. Anyways, I always set up a paid Google account for every new project, period, end of story, okay. And but that doesn’t mean that I have the drive stack built underneath that G Suite or workspace account.
I order it through MGYB just like you guys, do, I swear to God, I don’t have any of our network builders or drive stack builders or anybody work for me outside MGYB anymore, like I literally put on orders to MGYB. So I do it just the way that you guys do. But I don’t get a G Suite account, like I don’t provide them with those details. When I ordered the drive stack, they build it under a new gmail account that they create. And when they deliver the finished product to me, then I can go in and add I log into that Gmail address that was created for the drive stack order. I log into bind it to my IP, which is what we instruct you. Like when we send delivery email, we instruct we provide you with instructions to do that, bind it to your IP, so I log into that account. And then I add the G Suite account, right? So the main entity, Google account as a manager, or I share it, for in the case of drive stacks, share it give permissions to that G Suite account, so that I can manage it through the G Suite account, but it’s technically owned by the original Gmail account. That’s perfectly fine. That won’t cause any problems. And that’s, in fact, how we suggest that you do it. Any comments, guys? No, that’s exactly how the email goes out. Don’t ever go back in as the owner is the manager. Yeah. And the same thing goes with the Google Sites, guys, you can go to sites google.com. And you can share it with your G Suite or Google your main your primary branded Google account. You know, again, I highly recommend using G Suite or Google Now it’s called Google workspaces for all your primary entities. But again, you just share it, give permissions, and then you can edit the G site from that account as well.
Okay, so iOS CEO asked what the biggest SEO opportunities for 2021 where we just answered that wall, asked for just goofing around with DC plumber and found the Twitter account was suspended. Just FYI. Okay. I didn’t affect Google rankings, because I just checked, but yeah, okay, cool. Thanks.
rocketbox. You said, Okay, that was I guess we didn’t answer the question. I think Marco resolve that.
Did You Took Over The Entire Tree Services In The U.S. Or There Are More Places Left?
So BB says, did you? Did you take over the entire tree services in the US? Are there more places left? So I’m sure that’s a question for me. No, baby. Trust me. I haven’t even scratched the surface. Okay. That’s what I’m saying. Do you guys realize how much opportunity there is out there? Like there is a big blue ocean of money slopping around out there. And, you know, I’ve been in the tree service industry generating leads and doing SEO for Tree Service contractors since 2012. And I haven’t even scratched the surface. Are you kidding me? There’s there are I mean, it’s funny, but the big the huge project, I’m not going to disclose what the project is. But I’m trying to scale my agency for Tree Service stuff, like considerably in 2021. And I just did a huge search for the prospecting for building a prospecting list the Tree Service contractors in Virginia. And all I did was target the top 20 cities in Virginia, and did a scrape, search for you know, a prospecting list essentially. And I came again, it resulted with over 950, it was like 958, or something Tree Service contractors. And after I cleaned the prospecting list, for again, this was just the top 20 cities by population size in the state of Virginia, I had over 950 Tree Service contractors. And after D duping the list, cleaning it, getting rid of non relevant, you know, contacts within the list and all that kind of stuff, I ended up with over 700 contacts in the state of Virginia alone. So think about that. If I were to prospect aggressive, which I’m going to prospect aggressively to all 700 contacts in the state of Virginia alone, just Tree Service contractors, and just get 1% of them. Right as clients, that would be seven new clients for one state. Right, do that times 50 states. Think about that? That’s 350 clients. I mean, so my point is just think about the opportunity out there anybody that thinks a market I mean, there are certain markets that are saturated. But my point is, there are a lot the United States is a great big area. So, you know, 50 states if I were to get be able to just develop a prospecting contact list of 700 Tree Service contractors times 50 states that’s 3500 Excuse me, is that 35,030 500 my math is off at the moment, but that’s a huge opportunity nonetheless. So no, did it have I taken over that niche? Absolutely not. There is plenty of room in there for others to join that same industry or enter that same market. Any comments on that?
Nah, man, cuz it goes back to the WebMD question.
And then whatever, to go out to the entire tree services market in the US, you need the budget for it.
I mean, that’s that’s I don’t know Bradley about you. But it’s not something that I want to invest all that money. Yeah, put all your eggs in one basket.
And a lot of if you drop that basket, you’re in trouble. I focus on more different revenue streams. And I’m not interested in owning any one specific market. I’m after a certain income level where I can just give away most of the money. That’s what I’m focused on.
All right. Well, guys, thank you for everybody being here. This was the last Hump Day hangouts of 2020. By the way, a big F you to 2020 middle finger. Let’s put this shit in the rearview mirror and look forward to 2021. I hope it can, I would say can only get better, but I’m not going to hold my breath. So God bless everybody. Happy holidays. Happy New Year. We hope you all will join us next week for the first Hump Day hangouts of 2021. Let’s kick next year’s ass. Sounds good. Oh, yeah. Bye, everybody.
Source: Semantic Mastery
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Weekly SEO Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 320
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Announcement
All right, everybody. Welcome. Welcome. We are switching things up a little bit today. So it’s kind of fun. We got, as always some fun technical stuff going on in the background. But we are going to kick things off while the guys get that sorted out. And this is the last Hump Day hangouts of 2020. So if you hate it, 2020 That’s great. It’s on its way out. If you have an okay time, that’s great time to celebrate. good year. And regardless, like I said, this can be the last one. This is Episode 320. It is the 30th of December 2020. And we are going to get to your guys’s questions, we’ve got a few announcements. I don’t know about you, if you’re watching or the guys here today, I had a pretty good Christmas is nice. I’m tired of being stuck inside, but I’m happy to at least the world didn’t end and we’ve got 48 hours. So hopefully I didn’t Jinx myself here. 24 hours. But we’re gonna get into it and say hi to everyone real quick. And then we’ll dive into it. So I’m just gonna go clockwise here, Marco. You’re first on the list here. How you doing?
Good. Costa Rica. Costa Rica, it’s still Sunny, still warm? I can’t help it. What’s up, man? And I just realized, I don’t say this enough.
Fuck Google.
Happy New Year. I need to say that more often, is the type type of results we’re getting are ridiculous. They’re ridiculous. And they’re being shared.
I’m sharing in our free groups on Facebook, check us out guys. I’m sharing images. The how to is only shared in every hit or club. or using all of our methods, all of Semantic Mastery methods put together whatever is available in mg y b.co. That’s how we’re doing it. That’s how we’re getting results. That’s how we’re killing it. That’s how we’re taking a brand new GMB or a brand new SEO shield, G site drive stack and getting results within 30 days. That’s how with our method is that simple. And I know it’s simplistic and you guys want something that’s more complex. Yeah. spread over. It’s not sexy enough, man. I mean, let me let me take Oh, no.
That’s not sexy enough, either. Man. I don’t know. I don’t know what else to say. Anyway, the charity webinars are coming up getting it all set up getting getting everything finalized, I’ll put the donations page on the on the chat guys and on the page, so that it’s available you have to do is donate, then send a copy of your donation to the email address that’s posted.
And we will take care of you you will get an invitation to that webinar and all of the following webinars. For the donation, you can have access to the prior recordings. And so you can see everything how everything that we’ve been telling you for the past, what three, four years has come to pass how everything we’ve been saying, this is what’s going on. This is what’s going to be happening. And this is what’s this is what’s going on from here. You can see it here and Hump Day hangouts like every week, we’re telling you entities, entity based, worry less SEO, we don’t worry about Google of this. We don’t care about Google, we just go and apply our methods. I don’t know some sexy, it’s not difficult. It’s not complex, that doesn’t require much thinking at all it requires is for you to go and buy. Imagine that. But here’s the thing, when they’re working with complexity, and getting you into that mode where you don’t really understand it, but it sounds so good that you have to buy it. But guess what he just bought anyway, he probably bought something that’s not going to work. So you’ll be buying something else and something else and something else. Rather than do that. Go and buy the shit that’s working. It’s all I gotta say.
Fair enough. All right, and I’m just gonna hop down Marco. I think we’ll come back and remind people what they need to do for the charity webinars, but we’ll circle back around to that Bradley, how you doing today? why don’t why aren’t we seeing your face. Um, I’m at my favorite campground in trailhead. with some friends we’re bringing in the New Year riding ATVs for the next three days. And so I’m unlimited bandwidth because I’m tethered through my mobile phone so that’s why I’m not running my video cuz I don’t want to make audio choppy, but so like ready to give 2020 the middle finger on the way out.
So So Marco said fuck Google. I say fuck 2020 but well, hey, did you have a good holidays? I did. I did. I had a really good time. My my daughter she’s, in fact, it’s crazy. My daughter’s 15 and a half. And on Monday, which was the 28th she took her learner’s permit test for her driver’s license, and so the next time I have her, which is next weekend, we’re gonna go start driving. So I’m gonna start teaching my daughter how to drive. So that’s a pretty big milestone. Yeah, that’s nuts. I think when we started doing this, your daughter was like nine. And I think like she was in the background or something. You know? Yeah, like, That’s nuts to hear that stuff, man. She’s a young woman now. Yeah.
Well, Chris, how are things going in Austria?
bingos ate too much bacon here.
But yeah, I guess everybody had too much food or Christmas salad. And that was pretty good. With a bit of a bigger storm yesterday. I think 140 kilometers per hour. Not sure how many miles that is. But like, was quite a night.
Other than that, doing pretty good here, but it’s good. Now again, and yeah, only thing that I’m missing is like the slopes.
We’ll see. We’ll see how long it takes that the the letters out there.
Last but not least are nine How you doing, man?
And man, I’m excited to be here. I’m excited for 2021 we have some good stuff coming up. Definitely, you know, excited for that. 2020 was pretty good. Like, honestly, you know, despite all the craziness, we were able to keep going with Semantic Mastery, we were able to keep serving you guys. That was a big win, at least in my opinion. You know, a lot of people were struggling and a lot of people were were trying to figure it out stuff. But you know, and we weren’t short of obstacles and challenges and everything else. But I think it was a pretty good, pretty good year. And I’m really looking forward to for 2021. So thank you guys for supporting us throughout this entire year. For all of you guys watching for all of you guys subscribing, you know going to the to the sites sharing and all of that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And yeah, see guys in 2021 really excited for that?
Well, before we get into it, like I said, we got a couple short announcements, just put it on the page. If you’re watching the replay, it may not still be in effect. But you can always go to semanticmastery.com/HDquestions to find out what I’m talking about here. And what I did was drop the links to both Semantic Mastery and MGYB. We got some awesome holiday deals going on. I’m not going to sit here and run down the list. But there are a lot of really good deals. Let me pull this up, I think Yeah, we’ve got up to 40% discounts going on. limited time this is going to be over in two to three days. So if you’re interested in checking that out, again, both for Semantic Mastery and MGYB. Check that out. And then you can always head over to heavy hitters club dot club to find out more about heavy hitters club.
Marco, let’s kind of loop back to you if people are interested in either donating or the charity webinars which they have to donate go to anyways, yeah, what do they need to do?
Well, I’ve posted the link to the donation page. Just scroll down or just look for it. I posted it also last week, you go there and you donate. And I’m going to say it again, your heart is going to tell you whether you donate if your move to donate, then your wallet is going to dictate how much I never set an amount. I never say you must donate this much. I just do whatever you can find pucks as a cup of coffee guys. Buy five bucks is a cup of coffee, how many cups of coffee? Do you drink a week that you don’t really have to you just don’t have something better to so you go grab a cup of coffee, right? You can’t do that I can’t go to the local Starbucks like you used to. But I mean, think of the things that were you spent five bucks on 10 bucks on where you know, that can make a really big difference towards like taking a kid off the streets, away from drugs away from prostitution, away from the fucking pimps and the drug dealers analogy and get them on their road to pull focus, we can put them we can play some if they get through the whole program at a good paying job a good paying tech job, right? Not managers, because they’re overloaded with managers, but they need the people who can actually do the work and that the system is put everything together actually connect the wire. Like you can have 10 mabhida Stadium out there there are watching that one guy up there. Look, that looks really good. But somebody has to get up there and do it. And the manager sure is fucking not going to get up there and do it. And so they get paid really well. These are good paying jobs that we get them into great training. Some have started even their own companies from this doing this right for small businesses. So it kind of it mushrooms, and then the people who are successful, we bring them back to the community so that so that the community leaders so that the young children can see them they can see Oh, fuck, there’s another way to do this. I don’t have to follow the pimp or the drug dealer. I don’t have to do that. I don’t have to live that lifestyle. There’s something else that I have that I can look forward to. And yes, we do lose a lot of them right.
I’m not gonna say we don’t like nine out of 10. But I’m not focusing on the losses because I like we did everything that we could, for that focusing on that one that we can save. And then hopefully, like next time, it can be two out of 10. And then next time maybe can be three out of 10. So the struggle is real, if people have absolutely nothing, and when I say nothing, I mean nothing, literally choosing. I said that before between buying soap so they can wash their hands and maintain their hygiene or buying rice to have something to eat, if you had that fucking choice. I mean, think about this. Christmas just passed, I said this. Also, there are people who won’t tell their children that Christmas just asked or that it was Christmas, because they have nothing to give their children. So you’re left with that with the choice of not being able to tell your child again, it’s Christmas. And, and other people are getting presents and other people are eating and having fun. But we don’t have shit. So we can’t celebrate it.
It’s real, man. It’s real. It’s fucking rough. And so if it’s in your heart to donate, please go donate. And the way that we give back is we not only give these these great webinars where we tell you exactly what’s working right now and what will be working. We give away great prizes. You guys volunteered your time you guys are going to give a what do you call it? An hour of your time, for whatever the people need. I know that I know that you personally, Adam donated your time to help someone set up the email series and I’m getting all that together. Bradley volunteered, I know Hernan volunteered and so did Chris and I’ll volunteer my time. And all of the other people who are coming on will also volunteer so there is that they think if you do it just for the chance to win one of those prizes that the more power to do it for that reason and that reason only but donate.
sounds good. Yeah. And if you’re not watching this live again, just come over to semanticmastery.com/HDquestions and get the links there. Everything there in case you can’t find it. And worst case scenario, you know, shoot an email to [email protected] hit us up, ask what you need know, and we will get you hooked up. So I’m not sure who’s driving the questions today. But I’m gonna hand this off, we’re gonna dive into the questions and have a drink delivered to me on the side here. So cheers to everyone on the call as well as watching. Hope the rest of the remainder of your year goes well turned on, I’m going to ask for you to share the screen and scroll through questions if you don’t mind.
For sure, let me close a lot of all of the stuff that I had an appropriate stuff. Okay. So safer work stuff. Yeah, the Yeah, we need to add an R for a chart that stuff on. Okay, so I need to prove I’m not a robot.
I can also just share a browser tab with like a separate browser. Yeah, that was that, you know, yeah, no, no, that’s not gonna let you see the comments because of minute chat. Is that what you mean? Yeah, so Okay, so I think it’s all right. Yeah. So let me share my screen now.
Hi, can you make it bigger? Yes.
Sweet. All right. That’s where we at. Okay, back down just slightly. I think we’re close right there.
Do You Need To Add Another SEO Shield For A New Location With A new Verified GMB?
Okay, so he says, Hey, guys, I purchased an SEO shield from you guys and did some citation voting along with a GMB and website. We just added a new location with a new verified GMB for the new location in a different city. Do I need to add to the current SEO shield or purchase one for the new location? Great question.
Use the RYS expansion. Right. So if you go to MGYB.co to go to the store, and you’ll see the RYS expansion. That’s what you want to use. Because for multi location businesses, there’s there’s a couple of different ways to do it. I’m going to tell you how I prefer and and I would love to hear Marcos commentary about what what he what he thinks. But the way that I do it is the SEO shield should be like when you ordered an SEO shield, I always ordered an SEO power shield for a new project for the brand itself, right? So that’s gonna establish the entity and the the the Google stack, the G site, all of that for the main brand itself. And then for every top level silo, right, so whatever silos your sites have, so again, for service area businesses, typically you’re going to have silos for whatever your services are.
And that’s the type of businesses that I deal with. But there’s also location there can be location silos depending on how you structure your site, but for every one of whatever silos that it
I’m doing I always use an RYS expansion, because that becomes a sub folder of the primary drive stack branded folder. Right. So again, it’s we talked about this Semantic Mastery all the time fi mirroring, right? The mirroring was a term coined by network Empire originally. But what that means is whatever the structure is of your primary website, you want to mirror that with your drive, stack your G site and everything else that you do, right, we talked about that with blog posts, GMB posts, press releases all of that, but just getting back to the drive stack itself. So for every topical silo or service based silo, if it’s a service area business, you’re going to want an RYS expansion. Right. And then also, for every location, the same thing. So when you order, like if you have a multi location business, and I have several that I work with, and so what I do is set up the brand, the original RYS stack for the brand. And, and to be honest, I don’t even worry about an association with a single keyword on the front end anymore for for multi location businesses, I just set up the branded stack originally. And then I go in and set up or order additional RYS expansion stacks for every topical silo or location silo, or both. As I do it for both, let’s put it let’s be clear. So in other words, for service based silos, which would be like, again, for tree services, I talked about tree removal, tree trimming, those are the two primary silos for a tree service business. So I have an RYS expansion, one targeting the tree removal keyword set, and one targeting tree trimming keyword set. And then if I have multiple locations, so let’s say I’ve got five locations, every location will have an additional rfis expansion stack targeted for that particular location. And when you place that order, it gives you the opportunity to enter your NAP details, right name, address and phone number, so location details for that. And that becomes a sub folder of the primary brand, that’s the way that you want to do it. There’s also the location shield, I think that’s slightly different, I don’t typically use that for multi location businesses, because that creates a separate g site for the location. And what we have, and again, I’m Marco is going to come up and give his uh, his input on this as well. But what I’ve learned from Marco and Rob, is to use the primary branded asset, the G site, and the RYS stack as the main source, right, like the the primary source of power, and everything else that you build within that stack should be a sub folder, right? So essentially connected to that. So Marco, what do you say?
Ah, looking through that, Okay, so here’s what we’ve always recommended.
Your local is relative. So let’s remember that, because then once once you’re going once you’re focusing on that you no longer focus it focused on location, you no longer you no longer have one thing in mind, when you’re doing that we do it is focusing on your city, so that you could then branch out to multilocation because what most people do is they automatically like plumber in DC. That was a case study that we did if you go and look, it’s probably still number number one in in maps, but we had to push so much power to that, that it became the entity for the keyword DC plumber and plumber in DC. Right so in order to avoid that and and in order to be able to expand outside of the DC area, what we said is well wait a minute, if we do a better job of branding and if we do a better job of entity validation I creation validation, verification and validation, then we should be able to just create a brand, whatever and this is thinking about brands like Google and Yahoo, and Sony and Samsung and whatever it is that you want to think about the big big big companies Amazon, where it started out as a bookstore and now it’s like your neighborhood grocery store you can go pick up anything in Amazon and I mean anything and so they did such a good job of branding that the Amazon is no longer a rain forest and it’s no longer a river Amazon is a place where you go and buy shit you buy good shit right or you can go buy cheap Chinese shit that if that’s what you’re cheap shit from all over the world. But think about that. So focusing on that and focusing on brand focusing on entity then it allows you to set up whatever name XYZ and you will probably use the part of the cube because it just fits especially in the Home Services niche. You use your your tree pros right Bradley in in whatever is that you do. But that just makes sense. DC plumber, we use the plumber row in the Home Services niche, think of roto rooter.
It’s related to the niche offers, but not necessarily that and they just do a really good job of branding. So that’s what we have to look at when you when you focus on that, what you can do in that branded stack is create that brand plus keyword relationship.
So that it leaves you free to create an inner stack, which then focuses on location. That’s the location stack. Now you can you can request the location stack without an additional g site, where we just expand the existing branded stack. I mean, we’re willing to accommodate you in many different ways. Or you can just order an expansion stack. That’s location and keyword drip. Right? So if you’re in DC, and then you want to go into Alexandria, you come and ask us, for Alexandria plumber, for example, if that’s your focus and everything that’s that’s related to plumber in Alexandria, whatever it is that we can find if we’re doing the keyword research. So that’s the way that we’ve been teaching to do it, then the next city becomes a target for that, but always within the same branded t site and drive stack. Because we want to add power to that you don’t see Amazon and and Google. But you do sometimes. But what they first did is they accrued so much power in the route that now they’re able to create something like like, like they’re busy, Google My Business website, in something separate from them, but it’s always linking to Google.
So what we want is we want that, that relationship and that relevance within that JSON and drive stack. And you should be doing the same thing with with your money site, if you have a TLD domain, right? I top whatever, whatever the top level, I’m sorry, I forget. But it’s just the.com, the dot net the.org. Right, if you have a TLD. It could be even be a doc club, we’re ranking realty would write ranking, just all kinds of stuff, it doesn’t have to be dot com dot net or dot org anymore. At anyway, the point behind all this is that you focus all of your power in one place, and you keep adding power to that place. That’s what we do with the additional drive stacks. With the the extensions, we add pages to that that are they can focus on a city, or they can focus on services, and city or city and services. It’s how we do it and how I’ve been teaching it since we first started, which is what now we’re working on six years man, that that we’ve been doing that. But that’s the way to do it focus all of your power within one ecosystem, the same way that Google does it the same way, or has done it. Same way that Amazon does it and everybody else in the space, you don’t see them going and building so long as it’s related different websites for different things. Not if it’s one parent company, look at Apple and how they do it. That is a fantastic case study to look at, on how they branded the hell out of out of their website, and their company, how branding is all out there, and how they set up their website so that they focus all of the power and all of the energy with it within one ecosystem, instead of having a goal all Helter Skelter all over the place. And then you have to work out your schema on how this all fits together. How you have one parent and all of these children who are separate websites yet part of the same brand, it becomes just mind boggling how you have to do that, rather than if you just focus on this one thing. One dry stack, one g site, and you build power on that and you keep building on it. You don’t just stop you keep building on it. Yeah, simplify, right? Yeah, move that addition to all that complexity. We’re trying to add different web assets and all that it’s much better. That’s so just to clarify, that’s what I was getting back to was.
What I do with the branded stacks now, like whenever I’m starting a new project is I don’t even when I order the original SEO power shield, I don’t like what I just I even put this in the instructions. When I place the orders, I just want it branded like I’m not trying to create that keyword association with the original stack in some projects that may be feasible. But in a lot of my projects, what I do is just now create the branded stack for like originally the G site in the in the drive stack, or just optimized for the brand itself, because I’m going to build the site structure with all of the top level keywords as their own separate silos. So then I just go in and order arise expansions for each top level silo or location. Because the way that I build location silos are, again, they’re kind of the same thing. So so that’s what I’m getting at it, what Marco was saying was, it’s about building that brand, right? Google rewards the brand and you build the authority into the brand. And then you can build out the expansion stacks, which become sub folders and sub pages, essentially, or inner pages of the G site and sub folders of the drive stack. And so again, you mirror that same kind of structure that you have on your primary website, within your entity assets. And that’s really what works. It works incredibly well. So that’s a really good question. All right, so we’re gonna move on next rocket blaster comes up. He says, No, hang on. We miss. We miss one. Yes, we did. Okay.
I can’t locate it. Oh, yeah. The GMB listing question from Roger glass.
Yeah, that’s what I was getting at. That was the next one.
Okay, go ahead. Sorry. Well done with the previous question, correct. No, we never.
No, no, go up. Sorry, scroll up. Because he added that he added that question before Gfall. Does a question. No. Now you don’t see it, because I’m seeing it right after. Oh, sorry. Because one more up.
He reposted it from last week. Go ahead and scroll up above Wayne, though. Yeah, that one. rockin black cuz he added it from last week. He added it again. So it’s there twice. For me.
How To Dominate In Multiple Cities With GMB Listings And Free Website From Google?
I have plenty of GMB listings. Do you see it? We didn’t answer that. Yeah, I see it. But that was from seven days ago. But go ahead, answer it.
Well, he says I plan the GMB listings for towing services all in a 100 mile radius with no websites just using free the free website from Google that the business site that they give you. What should I do to dominate each city my Google listings are in, I want to rank all the GM B’s that are in prime cities, what MGYB products should I purchase? and in what order? Thank you.
Well, that’s I mean, that’s as simple as that we’ve set up the ordering process for your order, the SEO shield, I mean, we just discuss it. So this guy kind of went backwards for default, because what you would do is if it’s already branded as a single towing service, right, so your company is, I don’t know, tours, whatever we call, however it is that you’ve branded it, you would then go in order, the SEO power shield, which gets you that g set and that drive stack that’s focused on your brand. And then you would order an expansion for each one of the cities that you’re looking to go into the MGYB process, the SEO shield, and in fact that if you can, if you can put in there, the the SEO shield.com, which is free training, and it tells you how the how the process works. And at the end of that, as a matter of fact, we give you a coupon, you go through the process, we give you a coupon so that you can order your SEO shield from mg IV, but we just talked about it in detail for g4, I just want to get back to that because he posted it twice, or I see it twice on my screen. That’s what you would do. That’s the I mean, we set up the order. It’s not as if you order the SEO shield, and you get it all back at once. No, you’ll get the syndication network, you’ll get the drive second D site and you get the ad ID. Each time something is built, it gets delivered to you and you get notified about it.
Very cool. All right. So now we’re on to rocket buses. First question.
Can You Host Multiple Websites In One Google Account?
It says, Can you have multiple websites all being hosted under one account? So I guess one hosting how maybe, example, if I had 20 domains under one account? Would that be a problem in the eyes of Google? No dependent? Well? I mean, it depends. It always depends, right? It depends on what it is that you’re doing with them. So for example, if you had 20 domains all hosted on one, you know, IP address from one hosting account, you were using them as like a private blog network or link network to boost the, you know, to build links to one of the sites within that same hosting account, then yeah, that’s a huge footprint, that can cause a problem. But if you’ve got separate 20 sites that are like separate entities all you know, in and of themselves, then there’s there shouldn’t be a problem with that. Like it. Honestly, it just depends on what you’re doing with that. If you’re trying to use multiple domains to manipulate your SEO or your search positioning, then yes, that’s a problem. But if you have separate 20 separate websites that are really unrelated, or doesn’t matter whether they’re related or unrelated, but you’re not using them in a way to try to manipulate search positioning, then that shouldn’t be a problem at all. I don’t know maybe I’m not interpreting the question correctly. What do you say?
You can have a VPS and assign an IP to each one of those. Yeah, 20 domains. But I mean, you have to go through so much trouble for hiding the damn footprint.
Not how we do it, if those like, like Bradley said, have their separate domains for separately? Well, I have a little several client VPS. And I have several clients on one VPS. And that’s never been a problem because that’d be that that’s what hosting is shared hosting is a bunch of domains on one server, the server just gets divided, right? It gets divisions and it gets files installed in the server. So I’ve never seen a problem with that. The problem becomes when you start interlinking those and start trying to manipulate, manipulate Google, and Google catches the PBN, because then that gets the index. And as a matter of fact, it doesn’t even like nowadays, your your links just get devalued to the point where they become almost useless.
And it’s the the distance graph takes over. And and it just, you see diminishing return. So you have to go back and you have to keep working on those websites to keep them active activity, relevance, trust, and authority. If any of those things are missing from those 20 domains where you’re trying to manipulate, then you get diminishing return. That’s how it works. It’s really simple. The way that Google Google set that up.
How Does Dynamic Content Work?
Okay, so we’ll is up well, What’s up, buddy? He says, How does dynamic content work? I have a client that ranks for multiple locations using content from a dotnet database to feed the respective location fields and the page content dynamically. pages are all dot ASP x. At the bottom of the home page, they have listed about 60 locations. When you click on the city, the database fills out the appropriate content. Every single page looks like its content except the for the location content. So probably the location modifier itself, or specific content for that location. However, this website is not getting penalized with duplicate content, and ranking for a lot of locations. Why?
Well, Marco, that sounds like a really good question for you. Because that is touching upon the duplicate content myth or fallacy. You’re off? Yeah. Yeah, it’s it’s so crazy. Well, people are still believing that there’s such a thing as duplicate content. And there’s idiot, excuse me. There are experts and gurus and ninjas out there teaching that there’s such a thing as duplicate content, and that duplicate content can harm it.
I tell you what I did on Thanksgiving Day, a little bit before actually. We started working on that. And we decided we’re going to we’re going to tackle a really competitive niche. So what did I do, I went and got together fiber I can remember was five or six articles, literally copy pasted from the number one site and from the the most authoritative site in the niche. So the number one site may not be the most authoritative, by the way. So I went and got the content and put it all together, slapped it on the D site, took content from that, put it in a in a in posts in the GMB and you guys saw the results I’m sharing it in in the free groups, or free groups and in Facebook, because I want to do away with the fallacy with the myth that there’s such a thing as duplicate content, and duplicate content can harm you, you can rank better than the people who originally posted the content. By the way, whether it’s ethical is what that’s the question altogether. I did it for the express purpose of proving that there’s no such thing as duplicate content, and that you can rank just as well or even better with so called duplicate content, the content will be rewritten at some point. So that it’s original. So the question is original content, and then copies of that content, and how well that works. What works really well. And and mass page, creating websites would not work. If there was such a thing as duplicate content, and press releases would not work if there was such a thing as duplicate content, and places that aggregate content being nothing but MSN, Yahoo, Huffington Post, all of these places, all they do is they aggregate content. They take content all over the web, and they rank with it. So how in the hell can there be duplicate content that can be one and two, in this case, where you’re delivering content dynamically, all you’re doing is working with you tokenizing. So you can do this even with with a WordPress plugin, where you have the same template, and all you’re doing is flipping out the place names. And you can do perfectly what would that would that’s called a mass page creator. Also, that’s all it does is tokenizing certain parts of the content and replacing it with the dynamic content dynamic, meaning that that’s the part of the content that changes. You have the static, right which is what you’re what you’re seeing us are you considering duplicate, and then you have that the dynamic that’s delivered through a call, according to maybe the person’s IP, I mean, you make, there are so many choices that you can make, or so many options on how to deliver that dynamic content. We’re doing that with with schema, we built the plugin for to deliver schema dynamically according to the products that aren’t paid. So we just pull the information through through the token. So through the variables, actually, why is it ranking because Google is considering that it’s authoritative? Google if it has activity, relevance, just a trusted authority. And I’ve always said and this is a perfect example, the art of art beat anything that there is an overcomes any sort of penalty or negativity that you can think of from Google, the art of art activity, relevance, trust and authority.
What Are Tiered Social Signals?
Split sweet and we have the real BB is up next, he is asking his multiple questions as we would expect.
Hi, guys, number one, what is tiered social signals? Is that just tiered IFTTT rings now and in fact, tiered IFTTT rings aren’t really tiered social signals anyways. And we never claimed that they were tiered social signals would be like, for example, if you published a blog post and somebody worked to share that blog post URL to their Facebook profile or page or whatever. And then multiple people would start commenting on that Facebook share, or sharing that Facebook post, which was just a share of a blog post URL to begin with. That would be tiered. Right. So I mean, again, think about what tier it is tiered link building, for example, would be like, if you have a piece of content, you build links to it. That’s tier one links. If you build links to those tier one links, that’s tier two links, right? That make sense? So again, tiered social signals is it’s the same concept as tiered link building. It’s just with social signals. And IFTTT rings or syndication networks, essentially, they can kind of produce like a, like an initial mimicking of tiered social signals. But it’s the actual social engagement that makes tiered social signals effective, if that makes sense.
Can The SEO Shield Compete With WebMD?
So number two, can the SEO Shield compete with WebMD? Excuse me? Can the shield so he’s talking about can the SEO Shield compete with WebMD, have only ever succeeded with that. So that’s a good question for you, Marco.
Yeah, no. I said it. No, it. All right. Come on, man. If you want to go take on Amazon, then you better have the budget to take on Amazon. You want to take on Google, you better have the budget to take on Google. I’m sorry, but the question is ridiculous. No, the fuck you cannot compete with me? How long have they been around? They’re the trusted, authoritative source on the web. So right off the bat is that this this goes back to the Toronto DUI attorney to post. I didn’t write my two posts for Toronto DUI attorney. What the fuck you do? Of course, you didn’t have the fucking you’re expected to you don’t have you haven’t established the relevance. The trust the authority or the activity to compete with WebMD and WebMD didn’t start out competing with whoever it was that they were competing with. Amazon. If you think back on Amazon, when they started up, Jeff Bezos lost money, and millions and millions and millions of dollars.
I mean, every year he report a loss and a loss because he started out with just a bookstore. I remember seeing him and I never Yeah, we lost money. I think it was 100 million or 75 million. And yet, people were gobbling up the shares of the company. I don’t know if you guys remember that people just gobbling up up the shares that Amazon was offering. Now, they didn’t become the go to place in the ecom. Right niche until Well, after they dumped millions and millions of dollars into this endeavor. Google didn’t start out beating Yahoo and whoever and Netscape and whoever else was around. At that time, Google came out trying to compete, but they had millions in budget they did the IPO and and millions more to reinvest into the company. So if you’re thinking, I’m going to order at 300 and I think it’s three, I don’t know $250-$300 product and take over where WebMD is. You know, do, don’t stop stop it. You started your celebration early.
What you can do is you can do what we’re doing in the econ in our ecommerce a case study, and Rob is doing HVAC. By the way, what we’re sharing in the heavy hitter club which is you go after a sector in the niche, we did it with with
Fuck, I don’t want to say the niche. We did it with an ecommerce case study as a matter of fact dedhia. Yeah. And his client, where instead of taking on Amazon directly, he went after a vertical in Amazon. And I think he took it he took the client from, I don’t know 10-12 million to almost 30 million.
But the client had the money to invest. It wasn’t just Okay, let’s do an SEO show. Let me how many millions I’m going to make, it doesn’t happen that way. We tell you, you do as little work as you have to do for maximum return. But that sometimes means we have to do press releases. That sometimes means that we have to look like link building expansions, and everything else that we have to do to compete. If you want to go after WebMD, that’s a billion dollar company and it’s going to require that kind of investment. What you need to focus on is a vertical in WebMD and see how you can start ranking in that and making money in that and then reinvesting it so that you can then challenge within the for that vertical before you go to the next one. And the next one.
I don’t think it’s logical to think that one SEO shield is going to allow you to take over from where WebMD is are aware with MDF.
What Is Going With The New eCommerce Stuff You Do?
Right on Okay, so what is the next question? Because I am not seeing it. Standby? Oh, that go back up there? I’m sorry. So BB is asking thanks for none, by the way. Baby is asking what is going on with the new ecommerce stuff you do before? How long do you had to shoot? We’re still working on that. BB River. None of us have been ecommerce guys. You know, I think all of us have done various like contributions to e commerce projects over the years. But none of us have specialized in any of that or done any of that as like a you know, any of our major projects. So, but recently, Hernan and Adam went in partnership together with an e commerce site. So we are looking at doing a case study with our methods applied to that. And so that’s something that can’t even give you an estimate on when that, you know, case study will be available, because it’s new to us. So give us some time, we’ll share details when we have it. Anybody want to comment on that? Yeah, we’ve got we’re gonna potentially start during the beginning, like early January, we’re going to start applying stuff and documenting, we’re already documenting the paid side of things, and the email side of things. And then we will start documenting the SEO and everything like that in early January.
Okay, Marco, anything. Yeah, as I said, we’re sharing it in the heavy hitter club. And you guys have seen the results of it. And it’s a lot easier to rank than it is to monetize. Because I mean, we needed a you need a bank account to start monetizing. So we had to create the company to create the bank account, to create the bank account to be able to get in, for example, Amazon, or whatever, to be able to make money from it. But you guys see me, baby, just go to the free group, the images are there, I’m sharing the results in there, you don’t even have to pay for them. You can see those the results are there. And you can’t argue with the data that Google gives you now monetizing that once we have the bank account in place that we can get all of these into all of these different affiliate offers and see where we start making money. Or maybe we get so much traffic, that it makes sense to run either media dotnet or AdSense, add them and monetize it that way or monetize it with a combination of, of ads by display ads and affiliate offers. But the first thing is, of course you have to rank in, you have to get in there. And we’re already seeing that. So now the next thing is just adding some nice buttons to get people to take action, and we will be sharing those. But that will be shared in the paid groups. It will not be available for free. Yeah, because it’s not free to us to do all of these things. If you require money to start a company, you’re required money to fund the bank account. And all of the different things that we’re doing the SEO shields are not free to us. Because even though it’s a lower cost, we have to invest our time into it and my time is expensive. And so I would say that for the first year. I don’t expect to net a penny from this effort, but after after the first year, so I’m willing to make to make the long term commitment to this. I see this as as really, it’s a billion dollar niche that we’re in. And I’m already seeing good results. And we’re and we’re 30 days into the case study, I would put that in, in the wind column any day of the week, twice on Sunday.
Right on so that the follow up question was, how much traffic? What was the profit was what was the actual investment? Again, maybe we’ll share more details when we have details to share about that particular project, which right now, we don’t have details to share.
How Long Do You Think The SEO Shield Will Hold On?
So next was how long do you think the SEO shield will hold on? That’s a good question. Ah, well, it’s going on six years now.
So Marco, what do you think? Like, we don’t know, we don’t control Google, when they take away G sites and dry stacks. We’ll focus on something else right now. It’s working really well, it’s been working really well. And I mean, the whole foundation of G sites and dry stacks are not fat, the content is that the images, it’s whether you guys know, it’s the iframe. So when Google takes away YouTube, and the ability to embed, then we might lose whatever it is that we’re doing until then, we could just go somewhere else, Google takes me t sites, and Dr. sec, will just go somewhere else and build them. And and it’s that simple. We can drive power from other places, other people are already doing it.
And so it’s not as if it’s a what he call, it’s a great big secret. What you can that you can do these things that you can iframe that you can embed, and that you can link build, as long as everything works through links. Guys, let me tell you, quantum is a long way away. Okay. They’re making progress in leaps and bounds, but it’s still a long way away.
Once we’re in quantum, it’s going to take a while until you can teleport yet, you can actually teleport in quantum from one server to the other. And until then, what we’re going to have is a connection from one server to the other. All Google is is a server that has to connect to another server. And that’s done through links, the way that you collect connect to nodes on the web, and especially the way that Google works, the PageRank. And ranking score algorithm is you can make two nodes through an HTML hyperlink. And you measure the distance from one authoritative source to the other, and how close you are to that authoritative, trusted source on the web. That’s how you develop a PageRank. And rankings for until that changes is money. It’s money. And it doesn’t matter whether the Oh shield and the FPL shield, the way that is conceptualized now, whether Google changes, something that might change the SEO shield will just change and adapt them and go right along, I don’t see anything hurting what we’re doing, which is entity based. So if you’re focusing on the SEO shield, you’re already focused incorrectly, because I’m talking about entity based, worry less SEO.
There you go.
What Are The Biggest SEO Opportunities For 2021?
Okay, so the next question, sorry, I lost the screen again. Alright, so baby was asking about the SEO 2021 forecasts. And I think Iowa SEO was also asking about that. And a question further down. So in, you know, Marco is the SEO guru of our group, I would love to hear what his thoughts are about SEO for 2021. But I can tell you what my thoughts are, as kind of somebody that straddles both SEO and paid traffic now, because of you know, arts right activity, relevance, trust and authority. And so much of that can be accomplished with paid traffic now, and I’m all in on paid traffic, because of what I’ve been able to achieve recently, in the last, you know, month or two with YouTube ads, especially they but Google Ads period that the audience targeting is like it is just the the amount of improvement that has occurred within Google Ads with audience targeting, intent based targeting and that kind of stuff is it’s just incredible. And it has opened up a lot of doors for my own business, my own agency. In fact, I’m working on the biggest project, digital marketing project that I’ve ever worked on in my entire career right now, which I can’t disclose any of those details right now. But it is the biggest project I’ve ever worked on, and I’m trying to systematize it so that it will be a major, you know, cornerstone of Semantic Mastery in our training, at least for the mastermind anyways, so and what I see as a huge opportunity in 2021 is utilizing the opportunities that Google gives us with both SEO but also with paid traffic to really manipulate ART, right? Our activity, relevance, trust and authority. And it’s like they’re giving us the keys of the kingdom. And with YouTube and display network ads, especially you can buy very, very inexpensive traffic engagement signals, essentially, from highly targeted, highly relevant audiences. These are Google users that Google has placed in buckets that you know, defined audiences. Or you can define your own audiences using custom audiences. And, you know, we’ve been experimenting me particularly I’ve been experimenting with using paid traffic to augment SEO efforts for the last couple of years. And within the last few months, especially I’ve seen significant progress because of the audience targeting improvements the Google Ads is made. So for me, I’m going more and more into paid ads for 2021 as a to complement my SEO efforts, I’m not minimizing or reducing any of this stuff that we’re doing with semantic mastery methods as far as entity based SEO, what Margo and Rob are discovering and you know, developing for entity based SEO is absolutely critical for 2021. But using paid traffic to to augment all of that, I think is really that that’s kind of the direction that I’m going in for 2021. more of that will come out reveal more of that, and that in the coming months. Marco, what do you say?
I mean, as far as SEO is concerned, AI is going to continue playing a bigger and bigger role, but it’s nothing to be scared of. All it is is code. It’s code looking for variable, we can feed it the variables we want, which is what we do. That’s what heavy heavy the heavy hitter club is focused on. And and as a matter of fact, the SEO shield our ys Academy, our academy reloaded has always focused on the fact that I understood as soon as Google said, We want the bot to learn we’re coding the bot to learn the bot is coded to learn, well, I understood well, fuck if it if it if it’s coded to learn, then it’s going to need variables and I can feed it the variables that I want to have it understand what I wanted to understand that this is the big problem with AI is that it has human coders who cannot predict how that code is going to be used. So understanding that and understanding how Google is coding the AI to learn and how the AI is then set loose.
Unknown Speaker 52:38
To fill in the variables for everything, especially the the entities, and how we can then form this entity ourselves and and create what’s part of that entity? And what’s a valid part of the entity More importantly, then it’s just I don’t know, it’s a done deal. It’s a slam dunk, because then we can create our own entities the way that we see it. And we can fit the mold better because we’re creating the entity are we adding to the entity and the variables that Google will be looking for and where others are missing it? And we’re not is where we’ll be able to really make a dent in the space we’ll be really be able to make a difference in those spaces where people are just not filling in the blanks like we are filling in the variable and giving Google the variables that it’s looking for.
Beautiful, thank you. Okay, so the next question.
Is The GMB Service Coming Back On MGYB?
Scroll down a little bit. Hernan please. Is the GMB service coming back to MGYB? I don’t know. I can’t answer that. Maybe Marco has a better answer. But Marco, what do you think we’re working on it? Yeah. It’s difficult guys, because of you know, all the changes Google’s making and sometimes they’re on a you know, Warpath or rampage. And so it’s just it’s difficult. They’re trying to combat spam, which I don’t blame them. So Jim does those damn spammers. Yeah. Jim says, Hey, gang, I have a really quick question. probably obvious question, should the branded drive stack use a company’s primary Gmail address? Does this put the account at risk? Thanks, I hope everyone is having a safe holiday season. No, it’s not necessary, you know, again, so if you order a drive stack, or, you know, SEO Power Suite, or whatever, from us, we’ll go out and create it with a brand new Gmail account that we set up. And that’s perfectly fine. What we suggest is, and typically, like, for example, every for every project now that I set up, I always set up a G Suite account or now it’s called Google workspace, right used to be G Suite, but now it’s workspace. Anyways, I always set up a paid Google account for every new project, period, end of story, okay. And but that doesn’t mean that I have the drive stack built underneath that G Suite or workspace account.
I order it through MGYB just like you guys, do, I swear to God, I don’t have any of our network builders or drive stack builders or anybody work for me outside MGYB anymore, like I literally put on orders to MGYB. So I do it just the way that you guys do. But I don’t get a G Suite account, like I don’t provide them with those details. When I ordered the drive stack, they build it under a new gmail account that they create. And when they deliver the finished product to me, then I can go in and add I log into that Gmail address that was created for the drive stack order. I log into bind it to my IP, which is what we instruct you. Like when we send delivery email, we instruct we provide you with instructions to do that, bind it to your IP, so I log into that account. And then I add the G Suite account, right? So the main entity, Google account as a manager, or I share it, for in the case of drive stacks, share it give permissions to that G Suite account, so that I can manage it through the G Suite account, but it’s technically owned by the original Gmail account. That’s perfectly fine. That won’t cause any problems. And that’s, in fact, how we suggest that you do it. Any comments, guys? No, that’s exactly how the email goes out. Don’t ever go back in as the owner is the manager. Yeah. And the same thing goes with the Google Sites, guys, you can go to sites google.com. And you can share it with your G Suite or Google your main your primary branded Google account. You know, again, I highly recommend using G Suite or Google Now it’s called Google workspaces for all your primary entities. But again, you just share it, give permissions, and then you can edit the G site from that account as well.
Okay, so iOS CEO asked what the biggest SEO opportunities for 2021 where we just answered that wall, asked for just goofing around with DC plumber and found the Twitter account was suspended. Just FYI. Okay. I didn’t affect Google rankings, because I just checked, but yeah, okay, cool. Thanks.
rocketbox. You said, Okay, that was I guess we didn’t answer the question. I think Marco resolve that.
Did You Took Over The Entire Tree Services In The U.S. Or There Are More Places Left?
So BB says, did you? Did you take over the entire tree services in the US? Are there more places left? So I’m sure that’s a question for me. No, baby. Trust me. I haven’t even scratched the surface. Okay. That’s what I’m saying. Do you guys realize how much opportunity there is out there? Like there is a big blue ocean of money slopping around out there. And, you know, I’ve been in the tree service industry generating leads and doing SEO for Tree Service contractors since 2012. And I haven’t even scratched the surface. Are you kidding me? There’s there are I mean, it’s funny, but the big the huge project, I’m not going to disclose what the project is. But I’m trying to scale my agency for Tree Service stuff, like considerably in 2021. And I just did a huge search for the prospecting for building a prospecting list the Tree Service contractors in Virginia. And all I did was target the top 20 cities in Virginia, and did a scrape, search for you know, a prospecting list essentially. And I came again, it resulted with over 950, it was like 958, or something Tree Service contractors. And after I cleaned the prospecting list, for again, this was just the top 20 cities by population size in the state of Virginia, I had over 950 Tree Service contractors. And after D duping the list, cleaning it, getting rid of non relevant, you know, contacts within the list and all that kind of stuff, I ended up with over 700 contacts in the state of Virginia alone. So think about that. If I were to prospect aggressive, which I’m going to prospect aggressively to all 700 contacts in the state of Virginia alone, just Tree Service contractors, and just get 1% of them. Right as clients, that would be seven new clients for one state. Right, do that times 50 states. Think about that? That’s 350 clients. I mean, so my point is just think about the opportunity out there anybody that thinks a market I mean, there are certain markets that are saturated. But my point is, there are a lot the United States is a great big area. So, you know, 50 states if I were to get be able to just develop a prospecting contact list of 700 Tree Service contractors times 50 states that’s 3500 Excuse me, is that 35,030 500 my math is off at the moment, but that’s a huge opportunity nonetheless. So no, did it have I taken over that niche? Absolutely not. There is plenty of room in there for others to join that same industry or enter that same market. Any comments on that?
Nah, man, cuz it goes back to the WebMD question.
And then whatever, to go out to the entire tree services market in the US, you need the budget for it.
I mean, that’s that’s I don’t know Bradley about you. But it’s not something that I want to invest all that money. Yeah, put all your eggs in one basket.
And a lot of if you drop that basket, you’re in trouble. I focus on more different revenue streams. And I’m not interested in owning any one specific market. I’m after a certain income level where I can just give away most of the money. That’s what I’m focused on.
All right. Well, guys, thank you for everybody being here. This was the last Hump Day hangouts of 2020. By the way, a big F you to 2020 middle finger. Let’s put this shit in the rearview mirror and look forward to 2021. I hope it can, I would say can only get better, but I’m not going to hold my breath. So God bless everybody. Happy holidays. Happy New Year. We hope you all will join us next week for the first Hump Day hangouts of 2021. Let’s kick next year’s ass. Sounds good. Oh, yeah. Bye, everybody.
Source: Semantic Mastery
Weekly SEO Q&A – Hump Day Hangouts – Episode 320 published first on your-t1-blog-url
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Hello! I just need to say I LOVE your writing, omg I read and re-read your stuff AT LEAST once a week, seriously, you're a genius *kisses your face*. This is not really a request, just an IDEA for you to think about, but have you thought of how would be the first time Nevra drank Guardienne's blood? Maybe during sex, or before their first time...? I'm just curious to know what you think of his drinking habits if he were in a relationship with her.
*She reaches forward togently cup your cheek, her thumb tracing feather-light crescents around thepoint of your cheekbone that sends sparks dancing, waves of fire rolling across your skin withevery sly, knowing stroke*
You flatter me too much,my dear. ;)
Ahem. To answer your question, Anon., I do have a few ideas on what blood-feedingentails for Nevra. Because it’s a pretty fascinating subject for an aspiringbiologist. And you can never skip out on blood-feeding with a vampire beau. ;)
But first, I’ll have toseparate what’s implied in canon with, well, my headcanon. Brace yourself for adouble-serving of analysis and imagination. Plus science. Because there’salways science involved when talking about vampires. ^_^
Warning: Not NSFW… but it still has a lot of innuendo. Don’t try reading thisout-loud if you’re babysitting. Not even if the kid in question likes Twilight.
What does blood-drinking mean to him? (CanonAnalysis)
Seeing that Nevra is quick to offer a bite (as a joke or agenuine pick-up line) in several episodes, and given that he does drink fromladies he isn’t dating (i.e. that awkward moment in Episode 10), my impressionis that blood-drinking is more a casual activity for Nevra than a seriouscommunion.
The impetus also seems to be more sexual than nutritive: hedefinitely seems to prefer drinking from young ladies, instead of—shall wesay—more robust sources of blood plasma. Like young men of Valkyon’s size. (Sorry,fans. But that’s why we have headcanons.) Furthermore, Nevra has alreadymentioned in Episode 8 that it’s ‘fun’, which lends more credence to him seeingblood-drinking as a form of foreplay.
He’s clearly unabashed about his appetite for blood, from theblasé way he shrugs off criticism, jokes, and put-downs in Episodes 10, 4, and 8 respectively. This can be due to his supreme confidence in himself… and/or his knowledge of how vampires are walkingsexual fantasies in human literature (see episode 6). But from the number ofdinner/pantry jokes he makes, I’m willing believe that– on some level– Nevrabelieves blood-drinking increases his mystique among non-vampires. Sorry,buddy… but vampires are still a niche fad in this world
It’s unknown how necessary blood-drinking is to his survival,or what benefits it gives him. But it definitely isn’t the sole component ofhis diet: Nevra can consume regularfood (see episode 8), and is partial towards certain treats like red wine andthe oh-so-appropriate blue steaks (i.e. extremely raw steaks). Personally, Isupport the idea of him having a varied, omnivorous diet (sacrilege for vampirefans, I know) because blood in itself—per volume—is not nutritious at all:mainly composed of water, protein, and salt, with some iron and trace lipidsfrom red blood cells, and a very light sprinkling of sugars and importantminerals dissolved throughout. In fact, all full-time sanguivores—i.e.blood-drinkers—in nature are on the tiny side by necessity, and still need toconsume huge quantities of blood relative to their body weight just to avoidstarvation; vampire bats, for instance, need to drink half their body weight inblood per meal. So biologically-speaking, it’s just more feasible for Nevra toeat solid meat and other concentrated sources of carbohydrates, fats, vitamins,etc. (Besides… can you imagine how many people each day have to ‘donate’ forhis most basic rations if blood is all he consumes? Between him and Karenn,they’ll drain El dry. That won’t look good for the Guard. >_>)
Consent is necessary in Nevra’s book (see Episode 10), and heaccepts refusals (and borderline insults) with aplomb. So my guess is thatblood-drinking is still considered an intimate act, despite Nevra’s ‘swinger’approach to it. And that he’s aware it isn’t the most mainstream/popular/politesexual kink in El (check Ezarel’s ire in Episode 10 on him ‘chewing on’ one ofhis alchemists). That doesn’t mean he won’t stop trying though…
Blood doesn’t turn him on every single time. In fact, Nevra compartmentalizeshis reactions to it depending on the situation. For instance, if blood isspilled as a field injury, he jumps straight into Shadow Dad! Mode (see episode6), and all sexy/food-related thoughts are forgotten. This ability to switchmindsets on a dime indicates excellent self-control… and could be an adaptationto working with non-vampires who may get uneasy at spilling blood in front ofhim. Nevra even makes a joke in episode 8 (if you take him to the kitchen) thathe’s offended that the MC thinks of him as a ‘bloodthirsty beast’.
The effects of blood-drinking? (Canon Analysis)
According to one discussion in Episode 10, you can ‘turn’ into a vampire, but having avampire feed from you isn’t what causes it (at least, not on its own). So untilmore information comes to light, blood-drinking mostly seems like a funindulgence for Nevra, with no real long term consequences.
Nevra is implied to have the capacity to drink quite a bit of blood day after day, ifValkyon’s deadpan remark in Episode 4 is anything to go by. So anemia and even shock would be the most common health risks involved inblood-drinking besides infection (unsurprisingly). How much Nevra can drink ina single sitting is still up to debate, but he does have his principles andisn’t likely to drain partners to the point of shock. How else did he gainsuch a wide net of… voluntary donors?
His vampiric skills involved withblood-drinking? (Headcanon)
Like allvampires, he’s gifted with an extremely nimble tongue… which he uses to drink andpurr like a cat, never wasting a drop of blood and being finicky in lickinghis lips and fingers clean. And his partner’s skin, of course. Wheneverpossible, Nevra also avoids staining the bedsheets and his or his partner’sclothes; only amateurs are thatsloppy.
His nose isn’tjust good for sniffing out blood and fear from a quarter-mile away: theskin on the underside of his nose is highly thermosensitive (just like avampire bat), which allows him track rich arteries under the skin forprecision-bites, even in pitch darkness. His lips and fingertips too are packedwith biological thermo-sensors (not quite like a vampire bat). You cancompletely blindfold him, and he stillwon’t miss your carotid artery.
Good news: his bites don’t hurt. This is because the razor-sharppoints of his fangs are the envy of swordsmiths and surgeons. Not to mentionthat they’re coated in a natural anesthetic compound found in his saliva. (Likevampire bats; how else do they sneak up on their prey and dine on them for half-an-hourwithout waking them up?) At most, if he’s really eager and/or careless thatnight, you’ll feel two tiny pricks where his mouth meets your skin. Rightbefore he distracts you with all the other things he’s doing.
The bad news: there are also natural anticoagulants in hissaliva that prevent blood from clotting easily. (How else can his people get a long drink?) So the only way to staunch thebleeding from his bite is to clean and bandage the wound, maybe tie atourniquet if it’s a deep one, then wait it out. Fortunately, he also offers thisservice as a courtesy.
Nevra has an uncanny way of estimating his partner’s bodyweight, and then approximating how much blood he can afford to drink from them withoutrisking shock. Sans instruments. Just try lying about your weight to him. Hehas an excellent eye for volumetric amounts and measurements, honed byexperience.
His sense oftaste is actually very poor—an adaptation among vampires to cope with theirpeculiar drink of choice–, so the bracing iron taste of fresh blood doesn’tmake a difference to him. As do many foods, though he won’t admit this toothers. (So if there’s any poison in his food or drink, he has to do his bestto sniff them out instead. And bet on his robust immune system to buy him enoughtime to reach his cache of antidotes.)
He has abody built for the bedroom, uh, I mean blood consumption: his liver cancope with very high concentrations of iron, and the lining of his stomachabsorbs excess water rapidly. His immune system also lends some credence to thelegends of ‘immortal’ vampires: allowing him to resist most common diseases,and rally quickly from pathogens in infected blood.
How does he generally treat his partners whendrinking from them? (Headcanon)
I see blood-drinking as a fringe kink, fetish, and longtime socialpractice that Nevra’s people have. It combines food-play with sex, formalizesan intimate bond between individuals, and is even used as a form oftreatment in traditional medicine. (Why pointed fangs and an appetite for bloodbecame hereditary traits suggests some strong evolutionary benefits…but that’s for another day.) But Nevra, being a modern young vampire, prefersto apply blood-drinking as a form of tasty foreplay, to be carried outinside or outside the bedroom, with casual or serious partners. Drinking during sex though is what automatically flipshis high-voltage switch and unleashes the fireworks. From that point, it’s aone-way ticket to a wild night. Expect soreness and a tactical scarf the nextmorning.
The mood to drink is never far from his mind once he startsgetting cozy with his partner, and Nevra is never shy about suggesting itthrough heavy innuendo, slow kisses that nibble lightly at their inner wrist orneck, or merely smiling and posing a two-word question that leaves no doubt onwhat he wants. Still, winning consent is a matter of honor for him, and henever tries to surprise partners with a bite, even if he has fed from them before.If they’re not keen on the idea at the moment, he may pout and try to cajolethem, but will ultimately accept their refusal.
Location is key: some arteries are in patently sexier placesthan others. Drinking from the wrist is the most chaste by far, whereasdrinking from the neck is getting pretty heavy (but still possible to dooutside the bedroom). And drinking from the inside of the thigh is savedstrictly for behind closed doors. Depending on Nevra’s mood, the state ofhis partner’s skin at that location (some places might still be healing fromprior bites), and/or the need to look halfway decent in public, he’ll switchbetween different areas.
No matter his partner’s species, Nevra aims to keepblood-drinking safe, health-wise, as a point of pride and courtesy. (He of allpeople knows the risks involved with infection, blood-transmitted diseases,tissue scarring, anemia, and shock from blood loss.) So he’ll limit himself ifhis partner is on the petite side, and always spaces out feedings until they’rein optimal health again. And he’ll never so much as nip at his partner if they’rerecovering from an injury, are sick, or are susceptible to the health risksinvolved in opening a vein. Hearing that his partner consulted a doctor right aftertheir bedroom shenanigans will embarrass Nevra to no end. He is looking after them, he swears!
He never goes anywhere without keeping one black silkhandkerchief in his pocket, just large enough to wrap around a neck or sveltethigh that’s been offered to him. Staunching the bleeding and covering up themarks of his teeth is what he considers his obligation, and he’ll be happy tolet partners keep the handkerchief afterwards; he’s a gentleman, after all.As a result, Nevra is on first-name basis with city tailors, mercers, andlaunderers from all the silk handkerchiefs he orders and washes—in bulk– everyfew months. Which he then keeps folded in one drawer of his bedside table. Forconvenient access.
Contrary to expectations, Nevra is automatically turned-offif partners tease him by flaunting fresh papercuts and knife-nicks, evenaccidental. In his book, it’s a crass way to snag his attention (not to mentionidiotic, from the infections they’re risking), so he’ll at most lecture themand bandage those cuts straightaway. Part of the allure in blood lies in itsmystery after all, flowing secret under the skin until he makes the firstpierce. He’s a bloodthirsty beast only some nights in the bedroom, thank you.
How does he behave if drinking from theGuardian for the first time? (Headcanon)
For all hisjokes, Nevra is very aware that this is a gesture of trust, especiallyfrom a non-vampire and a novice who isn’t fully familiar with the practice. Sohe makes a point to be reassuring, aiming to keep the experience comfortable,sensual, and enjoyable for both parties (even if he’s the only one who’ll befeeding). Because if he likes them enough… he’ll want them to return to offerhim a ‘second serving’.
A privatelocation is really all he needs because this is the closest thing to aquickie that he can offer. But if there’s someone he’s looking to impress,he’ll take them straight to his room (prepped beforehand) where they can both befully comfortable, and he’ll be able to wash clean the bites. And where they’ll be free to indulge themselves a little more, if there’s time…
As with allpartners, he is very sensual whenfeeding, clasping the Guardian full against him and letting his hands wander. Teasingtheir skin first with kisses that grow increasingly less chaste, warming up hispartner in his arms while he tests out the best places to make an ideal bite. Fora first-timer, he’ll double this ‘warm up’ period until he’s absolutely surethat his partner is comfortable. And as turned-on as he is.
Just like anydentist, surgeon, or physician armed with a needle, Nevra never warns partnerswhen it’s actually time for him to make that bite: anticipation will only makethem anxious (and kill the mood). So the Guardian will still be lolling aroundin his arms and under the prints of his mouth, oblivious to what’s happening, until they suddenly feel that warm welling of their blood right where his mouthis fused determinedly against their skin. And when they freeze up, he’ll workto reassure them with his hands, his embrace, the pressure of his lips, and oneor two tactical noises of satisfaction, encouraging them (wordlessly) to relaxand enjoy the feel of his body against theirs. And not think too hard aboutthis moment.
For thisoccasion, he’ll keep the feeding light and neat, drinking from wrist or neckonly. After he staunches the bleeding with his ever-ready handkerchief, he’llpress a teasing kiss against the fabric right where his bite is, determined tomake the Guardian blush. And he’ll insist that they ‘hold onto thehandkerchief’, to not worry about returning it to him; it’s a standard gestureof magnanimity on his part, but for a first-timer, it’s also a way to give thema memento of this moment. To let them mull over what they did enjoy, andhopefully, return to him for a reprise…
If theGuardian is particularly concerned, he’ll oblige to answer what questions they have about health and sanitary concerns… as well as rumors they mighthave heard about vampires. But frankly, only the last part is fun for Nevra;giving medical explanations is always a tedious chore for him, so what answershe does offer are kept simple and reassuring. All they really need to know isthat he knows what he’s doing; they can trust him. He’s been doing this fora long while.
How does he treat longtime partners whom hedrinks from? (Headcanon)
Although infamousknown for biting casually, Nevra will restrict himself to drinking only fromhis partner if seriously involved with them. Feeding from others at this pointis akin to getting frisky with them, and thus putting one foot on the line ofinfidelity. For all his bad jokes and playboy reputation, Nevra’spartner is his very first preference for sharing such an intimate moment. Andif they’re really not in the mood to be nibbled at, he feels put-out.
They’ll start receiving naughty gifts… and not the expected type either. He’ll buythem scarves. Ascots. Satin opera gloves. Plus a healthy supply of dark silkhandkerchiefs for them to keep in their room, chokers and thigh garters made ofsatin or black lace, and velvet wrist corsages each pinned with a singleblood-red rose. All to cover up the bite-marks he left on their skin as theyheal… and remind him pleasantly of ‘what he did’ at their last encounterwhenever he sees them. When they’re alone, Nevra likes to slip these tacticalgifts an inch or two lower just to peek at, stroke, or kiss the marks he left behindthe other night. What a horny bastard.
He’ll be more open to gentle, affectionate blood-feedings.And if he’s having a rotten day, and his partner is the one who offers him a drink,his mood is guaranteed to shoot up by several notches. For once, he won’t dropsly suggestions to continue to the bedroom immediately, instead being perfectlyhappy to cuddle or spoon them in silence wherever they are. A blood-feeding maybe a sexually-charged gesture, but it can become an act of solace and caring ifoffered by a partner he trusts. One he won’t forget for a while.
He certainly won’t say no to his partner bitinghim back, even if their teeth are flatter and can’t (or won’t) pierce his skin; it’s the sensation that counts. And he himself is very sensitive around the crook of his neck. Still, Nevra prefersto do most of the biting—to draw blood or simply to tease. He has the right teeth, and knows how to be the boss use them for maximal mutual pleasure.
For a darker take on how Nevra might react to blood spilled on the battlefield, check out this pure headcanon.
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