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andreafmn · 3 years

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I'm Not Afraid - Chapter 5

xWord Count: 3,374

Characters: Female Reader Argent Character, Original Male Argent Character, Derek Hale, Allison Argent, Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey, Lydia Martin, Chris Argent, Jackson Whittemore

Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Teen Wolf, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and MTV Network. The only thing I own is Argent Reader insert, her immediate family, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ storyline.

Chapter: 5/?

A/N: If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 5

I woke up to a heavy and warm wight around my waist. As my mind started registering the scene around me, I noticed the soft snores that were filling the room, the strong smell of cologne, the rough skin encircling me, the chest in front of me that raised and fell at a slow pace. At some point during the night, Derek must have crawled into bed, and I couldn’t say that I minded.

He looked peaceful when he slept. No supernatural problems, no feuds, no hunters, just peace. My hand unconsciously landed on his cheek, softly stroking his cheek. Still succumbed to slumber, he leaned into the touch, nuzzling his head onto my hand like a puppy. I wish this could be the way it always was, but now that I knew the reality of the world we were in, there was no chance it would ever stay this way.

Deciding to let him sleep longer, I tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen where breakfast had already been prepared. I looked around and noticed that their car keys were gone, which meant they had left early in the morning to do whatever it was that they always did. I greeted Brody who had trotted my way from the living room, and filled his dog bowl, adding a few tasty treats. While I served two plates, I put the coffee machine to run, ensuring the freshest pot for the morning. I looked around for a tray to take the breakfast upstairs in case my parents came back at any moment, eating my food as the coffee brewed. Placing some cream and sugars on the tray, I made my way back to the bedroom where Derek was starting to wake up, Brody following behind.

“Morning, sour wolf.” I softly pushed open the door, the tray in front of me. Derek was rubbing the night from his eyes, a soft smile playing on his lips. Upon seeing the man, Brody jumped on the bed greeting him with slobbery kissed. Derek laughed and petted his head as he laid at the foot of the bed.

“Morning,” he yawned. “Whatcha got there?”

“Some eggs, bacon, and hash browns. Also, some coffee.” He took the tray from my hands and set it on the bed. Taking one of the coffee cups, I sat over on my desk to work on the homework I had left pile during the week. Derek grabbed the plate and came to stand behind me, leaning down to rest his chin on my shoulder.”

“What are you doing?” He inquired, downing the food from the plate quickly.

“Homework. You know, the thing people my age have to do to be able to graduate from high school with good grades.” I looked to the side, my heart beating faster noticing the closeness of our faces. “I’m sure you wouldn’t know much about that.”

“I’ll have you know I was a good enough student.”

“Emphasis on good enough.” I booped his nose with my pen and continued my work. “When you’re done you should head home, don’t want my parents catching you here just in case.”

“Why? We’re not doing anything.” He sipped his coffee and sat down on the bed, Brody laying his head on his lap. I turned my chair and faced him, a laugh escaping my lips.

“I think you’re forgetting who you are and who my family is. Apart from that, I don’t think my dad will particularly enjoy the fact that a 21-year-old werewolf is in his teenage daughter’s bedroom, alone.” I grinned. “But suit yourself. I’d love to see how it will play out.”

“Alright, but can I at least take you out some time this week?” My heartbeat quickened, the sound loud enough for me to hear. “Is that a yes?”

“It’s not a no,” I grinned.

“I kind of need an answer,” he pressed. A grin played on his lips by the point he had stood and rested his hands on the arms of the chair.

“How about, I’ll let you know?”

“I’ll take it,” he smiled. “I’ll text you.”

“Alright, I’ll be waiting.” He kissed my cheek and grabbed his jacket to head towards the door. “Where are you going?”

“Home?”

“Not through the door you’re not.” The dumbfounded look on his face was hilarious. “what would I do if my parents walked in.”

“I’m fast, you know. Like supernaturally fast.”

“Mm, I’ve seen you. Not fast enough.”

“Fine,” he surrendered. “Keep watch of your phone.”

“I will,” I smiled. He took a step back and in the blink of an eye, he was gone. Brody got alerted by the sudden move and jumped off the bed to bark at the window, standing on his hind legs to prop his eye out. I joined his side and saw Derek standing normally in my backyard as if he hadn’t just jumped out of a two-story window. He waved and I waved back as he became a blur, vanishing before my very eyes.

I slumped down on my bed and ran my hands over my face. What was I doing? There were so many things that were pit against us. My 18th birthday was still a little less than a year away, he had something going on with Erica, my family and he are natural-born enemies, we are currently under the terror of a reptilian shapeshifting Jackson, and that was just scratching the surface. I couldn’t scrutinize why he would ask me out too much, it was probably not even in a romantic way. It could just well be that he wanted to keep an eye on me since I was new to this whole werewolf, Kanima, hunter thing.

A couple of hours went by where I took Brody out for a walk, finished what was left of my homework, and started watching a movie when my phone went off.

“Hey, I heard the good news! You’re staying in town.”

“Hey, Allison. Yeah, it looks that way.”

“Well then, I believe you owe some people an apology.”

“What could you possibly mean?” I scoffed. But she was right, as hard as it was to admit.

“Don’t act dumb, (Y/N). You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“I don’t like it when you’re right,” I sighed. “What do you think I should do?”

“I could invite them over to your house and you could apologize to them. They never object to free pizza.”

I was glad. Instead of sulking on the 'he likes me, he likes me not' nonsense, I prepared the house for Allison and her friends, the people I hope to win over. One by one they arrived at my doorstep. Scott, Stiles, Lydia, and Allison. I had put out some snacks and the pizza I had bought. Scott and Stiles were not shy about their hunger as they dove in right away.

"So, what's the purpose of this meeting?" Lydia asked, her usual cocky attitude on full show.

"Uh, well, I wanted to apologize for being such a bitch these past few weeks."

"Hm, understatement of the century." Stiles chuckled with his mouth full.

"Actually, she can be 1,000 times worse. That was just level 1 bitchiness."

"Point taken. But why would you apologize? We get it you don't want to be our friend."

"That's not it, it's just... ugh... Look, it’s honestly a very long story, but moving around it’s hard to cut ties and start over for so long. After a while it’s easier to builds walls up and maintain everyone at arm’s length." They all stared at me. Hopefully I was getting through to them. "But this time I'm changing that. I want to be your friend and that's why I'm apologizing."

"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I've always considered you my friend. I mean, I've considered Lydia my friend and she hates me."

"Oh, please, Stiles. I don't hate you, you're just, um.... special."

"I'll take it."

"We understand. And of course you're our friend, (Y/N). You were just too stubborn to notice." Scott smiled at me. "Now, is there more pizza?"

"How the hell did you two boys just finish two boxes of pizza?"

"We're growing?" Stiles said with his mouth full.

"Barely," Allison mumbled.

"You know I can hear you, right?"

"That's the point, Scott."

The whole room laughed and continued to enjoy a very pleasant afternoon. It felt weird to finally feel like I belonged somewhere; that there were people around me that cared for me despite my flaws. As I looked around the faces of the group that had welcomed me with open arms, I couldn’t help but feel that someone was missing; the person that had first accepted me.

The clock had hit 4 o’clock when the last piece of food was gone, and the gang had gone home. After cleaning up, I decided it was time to call Isaac. I didn’t like the person he had become after the bite. But I couldn’t say I didn’t understand. He felt confident, strong, but he was using the wrong outlet. Just like I was.

“So, you’re finally talking to me,” Isaac chuckled, a cocky tone to his voice.

“Only if you’re done being a douche.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ever since you turned into a werewolf you’ve been nothing short of unbearable with your cocky behavior and holier-than-thou attitude.” I could hear him shifting on the other line, the news taking him aback. It seems Derek hadn’t told his pack that I knew everything.

“H-how… who told you?”

“Derek, your alpha. He told me everything the other day. I know all about werewolves, kanimas, hunters, pack, blah, blah, blah. But none of that excuses your behavior,’’ I sighed. “So, are you done being a dick?”

“Maybe,” he chuckled. “Can I see you?”

“Sure. Why don’t we go grab a bite? I’ll pick you up.”

“Alright!” He sounded excited. “I’ll text you the address.”

After hanging up I decided to take a quick shower before leaving. I threw on a white t-shirt and jeans and paired them with my leather jacket. As I tied my boots, I reached for the keys of my dad’s Chevrolet Suburban. Hopefully, I didn’t crash. In the car, I typed in the address Isaac had sent me. It was an industrial loft not too far from my own home. I honked my horn to notify Isaac I was there as well as sent a text.

“Are you stalking me now?”

I jumped at the sound of Derek’s voice and the knock he left on my window. . He appeared like a ghost and leaned on my door. “I could say the same about you. I’ve never been here before.”

“I live here,” he laughed, pointing at the building. “It’s my loft.”

“I’m here to pick up Isaac,” I said sheepishly. “So, he’s been staying with you. I thought you live in the woods.”

“It’s my family’s house and it’s under my ownership, but it’s not under livable conditions. And, yes, Isaac has been staying with me.”

“Hey, Derek.” Isaac finally emerged from the doors and jogged up to my car, patting Derek on the back. The man’s expression rapidly changed as soon as Isaac joined the conversation. The playful smile he wore had been replaced by a menacing scowl. “We’re going out for a while. I’ll see you later.”

We said goodbye and as I drove off, I stared at Derek. His body was tense, and his jaw was clenched. He was angry, but I didn’t know why. When we were alone, he was a completely different person than what he showed to others. There was this terrifying façade that was impenetrable by everyone else, yet he was a completely different person with me; he was an Alpha to the others, but he was just Derek to me.

I parked the car at a small burger joint Isaac directed me to. It wasn’t too full, so our food came out quickly. We sat at a table in the back, far from any prying ears.

“So, what did you mean about this cocky attitude?” He popped a french fry into his mouth, playing around with his food. “You seemed quite mad about it. Mad enough that you avoided me for some time.”

“Ever since you transformed you’ve been carrying yourself like you’re above everyone, you don’t even bother to be respectful of teachers or anyone for that matter. I miss the old Isaac.”

“You mean the pushover wimpy kid?” He scoffed. “I can’t say the same.”

“That’s not what I meant.” My hand reached out to his clenched fist and his hold softened. “You were nice and respectful, and knew how to treat others because you knew how it felt to be mistreated. Of course, you could have done with more confidence, but that’s not what this is. It’s almost as if you’re turning into Jackson, heaven forbid.”

His eyes softened and I knew I was getting through the wall he had built up.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). It's just… this is the first time in my life that I have felt powerful, like nothing and no one can touch me. I've dealt with so much shit that I thought I deserved to act like that," he sighed. "Can you ever forgive me?"

“You’re practically my best friend, how could I not?”

“Thanks.” He gave me a smile that I happily reciprocated. For the first time in a while, I was seeing the Isaac I had met some time ago. “So, what is it that you needed to speak to me so eagerly.”

“Remember how I mentioned that I would be moving at the end of the year so you shouldn’t get attached?” He nodded. “Well, it seems you’re gonna have to put up with me for a long time. Beacon Hills is now my home.”

“What?! That’s great!” He exclaimed a little too loud. Heads turned towards us and Isaac tried to hide his blush. “Does that mean we can truly be friends now? Not just study partners or casual conversation acquaintances?”

“Yes, Isaac. That’s exactly what that means,” I laughed. His face had lit up as the hard mask he wore finally broke apart. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what happened the night that I picked you up? It was such a weird night.”

His whole demeanor changed, clearly a sore subject to talk about. "If Derek told you what we are I presume he told you about everything else." I nodded. "The Kanima. It killed my father. We, um, had gotten into a fight and I ran out. It seems he went out looking for me but didn't get to me. I found him dead in his car, but I ran and called you."

" Isaac, why didn't you tell me? I mean, I know why you didn't tell me, but something; you should have told me something.” I looked into his eyes, worry evident in them. He had gone through such a traumatic event basically by himself. “Is that why the police were looking for you?"

He nodded. "They thought I had something to do with his murder because of something Jackson said. He was unfortunately my neighbor and had seen me running out of the house, but there were no tracks leading to me. I'm not a fugitive anymore." He smiled softly.

“I’m glad, Isaac, really. And I’m truly sorry for everything you’ve had to endure alone for all these years. You didn’t deserve it.”

“Thanks, (Y/N). At least that part of my life is over.”

“Now we just have to get that damn Kanima and get on with our lives.” We laughed.

Before we knew it, the sky outside had turned dark, signaling the arrival of the night. The car ride back was filled with mindless chitchat and soft background music. It had been a long few days and exhaustion was evident in both of us. Soon enough, the grey building had come into view.

“Do you want to come in for a bit?” Isaac leaned into the open window of the driver’s side.

“I think I’m just gonna head on home. I’m a bit tired and we have school tomorrow.” I smiled. “But, I’ll take you up on the offer someday.”

“Isaac, good to see you’re back,” Derek announced himself, his two betas following behind. “You’re late for training.”

“Sorry, Derek. Time slipped away.”

“Sorry won’t cut it.” His voice was commanding and a bit intimidating. I could see why everyone around me feared him. “Go with Erica and Boyd. Get started.”

'‘Bye, (Y/N). I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smiled and nodded, trying my best to comfort him.

“See you.” Derek stood back as we both watched the three figures disappear into the building. His chest moved, heaving, and he reeked of jealousy. “What’s your problem?”

“What?” Did he truly believe I was that oblivious? “I just…”

“You’re acting like a prissy child, Derek. You knew where Isaac was, who he was with, and that there was a possibility that he would come back late. There’s no need to grill him that hard.”

“He’s old enough to manage his time correctly, (Y/N). He needs to learn discipline. This has nothing to do with you.”

“Clearly, that’s not what’s happening here,’’ I laughed dryly. “Look, pardon the metaphor, but this whole alpha male act is gonna get very tiring, very quickly. If this is how you’re gonna be, don’t bother on scheduling that date this week.”

“Don’t be like that, (Y/N). I swear this has nothing to do with you. There are certain rules that we have to abide by, a different life. It’s complicated.”

“You’re not making any sense, Derek.”

“It’s hard to explain.”

“Yesterday we said no secrets, Derek. What changed in the hours that have passed?”

“Nothing’s changed. I’m sorry if I seemed too harsh on Isaac, but I have to be. They’re young and reckless, and it’s my job to make sure they stay safe. No matter the cost.” He ran his hands across his face as he let out a loud sigh. “Why don’t we just keep the supernatural and our personal lives apart.”

“We can try that for a while, but they’re bound to intersect at some point.”

“I know, but…”

“Let’s play it your way and see how it goes, okay? And lay off Isaac and the others? They are just kids.”

“I’ll try,” he smiled softly. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

“If I remember.”

I backed the car up and sped back to my house. When I opened the garage, my father was sitting on the spot where the car usually went. I had forgotten to tell them I would be gone, and my phone’s battery had died a while back. I was in so much trouble.

“Good to know you’re alive, darling daughter.” The sarcasm spewed from my father’s mouth, and it stung.

“I’m so sorry. I went out with a friend and my phone died. And I know I forgot to say I was leaving the house, but I rarely do that, so please forgive me.”

“Calm down, (Y/N),” he laughed. “We just wanted to make sure you were okay. You weren’t answering your phone, so we got worried. But remember, there’s a tracker on the car. We figured you were out. And I’m glad to hear you have a friend. It’s about time.”

“Thanks, dad.” He wrapped me in a hug and patted my head. If he knew who my friends were I’m sure he wouldn’t feel the same way. “But, if you knew where I was, what was this whole scary setup? I for sure thought you were going to kill me.”

“Nothing like that, honey. But your mother and I have something we have to talk to you about.”

“What is it? You can’t take back that we are staying.”

“It’s not that, but it is serious. Let’s go, your mom is waiting in the kitchen.”

My heart was beating at a rapid pace, a million thoughts running through my head. Although, at the bottom of my heart I knew what this talk was going to be about.

Tag List: @hellowinterlane @lokisgoddesofpower @mersuperwholocked-lowlife @malar-region

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 4 years

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FFT: second one to know, adam page

Notes:

This is another fake fic title ask sent to me by @adampage on my old writing blog (which is now my main) It’s part 1 of a 2 part thing, so the second part will be posted right after this.

Summary:

Giselle and Adam are best friends. Also helplessly, hopelessly in love with each other. Giselle gets dumped by a shitty boyfriend and is left without a date to go home for the holidays. Enter Adam.

Pairing:

Adam Page x OFC, Giselle

Warnings:

Uhh, none.

“Now princess, don’t get upset. I told you from the beginning when you asked me to… Do that.. That I might not be able.” Sean stared her down and took a few deep breaths. Just the prospect of her getting upset and making a scene and making him look like the bad guy.. When he saw her tearing up, he grumbled. “Don’t make a scene. We’re in public for God’s sake, have some class.”

Giselle stared up at him, a hand in her hair as she took a few long and deep breaths. When he told her to have some class, she gave a hollow laugh because suddenly, it hit her.. He was just saying that work was the reason he couldn’t make the trip to meet her family. In reality, he felt like he was better than her family. Better than her.

Suddenly everything he’d said to her became clear as crystal and she realized she was essentially nothing more than a plaything to him. She was a rung on the ladder of his career. Having her on his arm drew him attention, gave the illusion that he had his shit together and he was what a successful company needed.

“Have some class, hmm?”

“Giselle, don’t start. I don’t have the time or the patience for one of your tantrums. Now I’ve said I’m sorry. And you need to accept that. In relationships, we compromise.”

… no, I give and give and give and forgive and you do NOTHING… the thought as it hit her prompted her to finally say something.

“I don’t accept it. And what we have isn’t a relationship, Sean, c’mon..”

“It is?” Sean eyed her, a brow raised and an irate look on his face as her voice raised just a hint. Giselle stepped closer and she snatched at the necklace around her neck. “Go find yourself a new fucking toy to play with.”

She turned to walk away, intent on finding her friends or finding a quiet place and calling her mom to explain what happened -and hear her mother say those dreaded words, and as she did, he gave an amused chuckle. “Are you really breaking up with me right now?”

She tilted her head slightly and pretended to think it over. “Yeah. Actually you holier than thou piece of shit, yeah I am.”

“Just know that I set the bar. You’re never going to find anyone who can bring what I do to the table.” Sean called out after her but she continued to walk, shoving through the crowd as she focused on keeping herself reasonably together until she could find a quiet and private area to fall apart in.

She felt drained and yet, somehow as if a huge weight had been lifted off her. She wasn’t dreading his excuses or lies anymore. She wasn’t having to listen to his little casual remarks about her or her upbringing or her job or anything he liked to nit pick about.

“How the hell was I so stupid?” she wondered aloud, shaking her head sadly as she sank into a seat. She bought her knees to her chin, listening to her flight boarding and yet not rushing to it immediately.

… I’ll get a later flight, it’s not like I don’t know what they’re all gonna say when I show up without Sean anyway… they all told me he acted like he was too good for me…

XXX

Hangman tensed as he watched the whole thing go down. He stood there a second or two, torn between going after her and going after her now ex boyfriend and throttling the guy.

“Don’t waste your time on him, buddy.” Kenny spoke up, nodding in the direction Giselle disappeared to instead.

“Yeah, go find Giselle, she looked really upset and they’re calling her flight now.”

Adam took off after his best friend rather than go pull her ex out of line for his flight and beating the guy senseless. He found her sitting in a lesser crowded waiting area, staring out the window and for a second or two, he worked on calming himself down.

… if she were with me that would never have happened… I’d never do that…

… well, man, here’s your shot… you gonna shoot it or stand here and think about shootin it all night…. That last thought spurred him forward and he made his way over to where she sat.

After a few seconds of just sitting there, he put his arm around the back of her chair, resisting the urge to comment on how soft the jet black curls were as they brushed his arm.

He cleared his throat, trying to think of just the right thing to say at the moment. She shifted to lean against him and wiped at her eyes, laughing and shaking her head. “I can’t believe I ever thought that guy was the one.”

Adam shrugged and muttered something about the way love makes people crazy sometimes because he couldn’t think of anything else to say that wasn’t the truth.

“Yeah well there’s crazy and there’s plain stupid, Hangman and I’m afraid that right now, I fall into that second category.”

“C’mon, hon, don’t say that. I happen to think you’re pretty damn great.” Adam leaned in, wiping at her eyes with his thumb. He noticed that the flight she was supposed to be getting on was already departing and he swore, quietly.

“It’s okay. I’ll just.. Take a day to pull myself together.” Giselle shrugged as if it were nothing, and Adam nodded.

“At least call your family. Tell ‘em.”

“Don’t remind me.” Giselle gave a weak laugh as she took a few deep breaths and then stood. “C’mon. I’ll walk you guys to your flights.”

“We’ll walk them.”

Giselle eyed Adam and he stared right back at her. “I am not gettin on a flight and leavin you here alone.”

She bit her lip, starting to protest, but Adam plugged his ears. “I’ll stay until you get a flight. We can get a hotel room and have a sleepover or somethin’.”

“Okay, fine. But I’m gonna warn you now. I’m probably not going to be much company.”

Adam chuckled and gave her that grin of his as he shook his head. “I’ll keep ya entertained. Promise.”

Somehow, Giselle didn’t doubt it, but she still felt guilty, making him delay his own plans to return home. “You don’t… have to do this.” she tried again to protest, to talk him out of staying behind just because she was. But Adam wasn’t hearing it, pressing a finger into her lips and cutting her off mid sentence. They wandered over to where Cody and Brandi stood talking to Kenny and the Bucks, saying their last goodbyes before their flights departed.

Kenny flashed a knowing grin as he set sights on them. “Finally.” he mouthed as Hangman gave him a warning look and mouthed back, “Not right away, damn.”

Adam slipped his arm around her and despite herself, she leaned against his side, staring up at him. It didn’t surprise her at all he was doing this. Adam was just that kind of man.

“They’re calling our flights. See you around, Page.” Matt and Nick gave their friend a hug and Kenny eyed Giselle and Adam. “Don’t both of you have flights?”

“We’re catchin a later one.” Adam answered as Kenny chuckled and nodded, stepping up to hug Adam and using the hug to whisper to his friend, “ If you keep waiting on the perfect time, you’re gonna miss out, buddy.”

Adam nodded and then turned his attention to Giselle as their friends boarded their flights. Clearing his throat, he nodded to the parking lot. “If we want a hotel room, we might wanna leave now.”

“Yeah, true. I just hope we can find one.”

Her cell phone rang and she eyed her mom’s number, finally sighing and muttering “Best to just get this over with.” as she stepped away, answering her mom’s video call.

“Darlin? Why are you still in the airport, hm?”

Giselle honestly meant to answer her mother, but before she could, her mother was swearing under her breath and then sighing. And naturally, her mom went there.

“That guy of yours blew ya off. See, this is…” her mother started to say it but Giselle spoke up calmly, “Yeah, look. I missed my flight fighting with him and breaking it off between us, so if you’re about to say I told you so, get it over with because I am so exhausted, Mama.”

“Where are ya? You’re not alone, right? Because you don’t make the best decisions…”

“I’m with Adam right now. He missed his flight too, so we’re going to catch the first ones out in the morning I guess. What the hell do you mean I don’t make the best decisions? Nevermind, mama, don’t answer that. I… I’ve gotta go. I don’t want to argue with anyone else tonight, especially not a literal brick wall.”

She hung up and Adam chuckled quietly from behind her as he dragged his hands through his hair and eyed her in concern. “You okay, Ele?”

“My mama being herself, of course.”

“Yikes. Let me guess, they adored that jerk?”

“Oh, no, she hated him. Hindsight being what it is, I can’t hold that against her, but you know how she is… Treating me like a child no matter what I do. It’s a mess.. Can we just.. Go now? Please?”

Adam nodded, picking up her bag as he slung his across his shoulder and Giselle went to take the bag from him. He shook his head. Their hands brushed and Giselle stared up at him, biting her lip and staying totally silent for a few seconds.

“What’d she say that got you all wound up, hon?” Adam asked as they walked out of the airport and towards the rental car that luckily, she hadn’t returned earlier. Giselle sighed and looked up at him, giving a sheepish laugh. “She’s right, I mean.. I don’t make the best decisions.”

Adam stopped them in the doorway of the airport and looked down at her, shaking his head. “She’s not right. You just thought ya loved the guy. There’s nothin wrong with that.”

“I think she was referring to all my other so called mistakes. She gets like this when my sister comes home with all the grandbabies, starts trying to meddle in my life because it’s not EXACTLY what she wants it to be.” Giselle sighed and shivered in the cold. Adam held out his jacket and she eyed him. “It’s freezing out here, are you insane? You need that. I’m fine, the car’s not far.”

“Take it, woman. Stop being so damn stubborn!” Adam chuckled, holding the jacket out again. This time Giselle took it, snuggling down into it, letting the smell of her best friend fill her nose because he always smelled so good and it always made her feel better somehow. She pressed into his side and peered up at his phone as he muttered, “There’s a hotel not even a block away. We’ll try there. You eat anything tonight? I’m starvin.”

Giselle’s stomach growled almost on cue and she shook her head sheepishly. Adam eyed her and she admitted with a shrug, “I was running behind. I thought I could just grab something when they came around on the plane.. Then get actual food when I found a hotel on my all night layover.”

“Woman, what the hell? Look, we’re goin to find an Applebee’s or somethin.” Adam chuckled, shaking his head at her as he put his arm back around her and they walked towards the yellow Challenger she’d been so excited about snagging when they all rented cars earlier in the week. Giselle put the keys into his hand and Adam unlocked the car, opening her door. As she went to lower herself into her seat, they brushed against one another and Giselle found herself just… Sort of staring at him.

She took a deep breath. It was that feeling she seemed to get a lot lately around him. The one she couldn’t quite pin down. The one that had her tingly all over.

Adam caught her gaze, fingers tucked beneath her chin to make her look at him. “Hey… it’s gonna be okay, darlin. What you did was the right thing.”

“I know. Honestly? It doesn’t really hurt. I’m… More disappointed in myself than anything. Like… how did I not see that about the guy?” Giselle shook her head and sighed, taking a few long breaths as Adam pulled the car out into traffic. They were pulling into the parking lot of an Applebee’s near the airport and he snickered quietly, realizing that she’d just really started to doze off. Reaching out, he tapped her shoulder and cleared his throat as he leaned in.

“Hey.. we’re here, Ele.”

Giselle sat up, rubbing at her eyes and stretching. Adam was getting out and walking around, opening her door for her and again, as she got out, she wound up standing close to him, the jacket he’d given her to wear beyond big enough to swim in. Adam laughed when he caught her staring up at him, making the joke that he had to have something in his nose and she shook her head, choosing to stay quiet.

“We goin inside, or?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Adam couldn’t help but ask again and Giselle shrugged, but gave a half smile. “I don’t honestly know right now but I think.. Maybe.”

Truth be told, she just felt relieved to an extent. It hurt, but at the same time, it didn’t. Then again, she reminded herself, this is just the night you finally had enough. There’s no telling how you’ll feel about this in the morning.. When it actually sinks in.

She tried not to think about it. Just like she fully intended to continue doing. She didn’t want to think about any of it, from how stupid she’d been to choose a guy like Sean to begin with, to just how blind she’d let herself become while she’d been with him, to how more than likely everyone -from her family to her co workers, could see right through him.

Adam nodded, staring at her intently while also trying not to do it. “That’s good, darlin. I mean it, you’re gonna be okay. You’ll see.”

“You say that like you don’t know what a mess I am.” Giselle hugged against him for warmth and Adam tensed slightly, arms tightening around her. His nose lingered in her hair and he took a few deep breaths. “You’re not a mess.”

“I kind of am.” Giselle argued. Adam shook his head at her no and she sighed. “Fine. I’m starving. Let’s just go in and get food.” it was her way of changing the subject because suddenly she was picking up on this heavy lingering tension and realizing that tonight was not the first time it had been present.

That it seemed to hang heavily in the air whenever she was around Adam.

Something Riho said earlier in the month, when they’d all gone out for Halloween, it came rushing back to her.

.. no, that’s not it… i mean, i am attracted to him but like… that’s all it is, it has to be, I’d know if it were more than that, right?… she thought to herself as they found a back booth and scanned the menu.

XXX

“ I will… Never try to eat that much again, fuck.” Giselle groaned as they stepped into the hotel room they’d just gotten. Adam’s lack of a laugh at her comment and the way she went about being overdramatic about it immediately drew her attention to what he was currently fixated on.

The room they’d been given only had one bed.

Giselle’s mouth opened and closed and before she could stop it, that feeling was back, fluttering through her insides, making her heart race a little. She dragged her fingers through her snow dampened hair and opened her mouth to say something but Adam had apparently been thinking the same because he blurted out with a shrug, “You take it, darlin. I’ll be fine, I’ve slept on worse than that couch thing.” he nodded to a loveseat that despite it’s upscale design, looked about as comfortable as a boulder.

Giselle started to shake her head, but Adam was grabbing a pillow and stopping in front of her, a hand lingering close to her hip as he stared down at her. “It’s fine. Take the bed.”

She didn’t argue - it wouldn’t have done a lot of good, Adam was a stubborn guy, she knew it from experience as his best friend, and she flopped onto the bed, letting out a long and slow breath.

“Are you sure? I mean..”

“Darlin, it’s fine. I’ll be fine.” Adam reassured her, even as he sank down and grunted because the little two person sofa gave… Nothing at all. The so called cushions felt like brick covered in black pleather.

And given the fight he’d been in earlier at the arena, it wasn’t the best feeling.

Giselle tried to settle into the giant King sized bed after wiggling out of her clothing, but watching him toss and turn and try to get at least a little comfort left her feeling guilty because what the sofa lacked in the way of comfort?

The bed was like a cloud covered in pale blue sheets.

After turning out the lights, she tried to go to sleep and she just… Couldn’t. Everything from the day so far was rushing through her mind only to fleet just as she’d try to grasp one solid thing, one tangible thought.

Until the most unexpected one of all crept in..

… You’re both adults and Adam is not comfortable over there… Sharing the bed… Nothing has to happen and you do feel really comfortable with Adam…

This was the one solid thought she grasped onto and as if she were on autopilot, it’s the thought that had her sitting up in bed and reaching for the switch to the lights. Adam grunted, shielding baby blue eyes from the harsh flourescent overhead lights because he’d been just about to finally fall asleep.

“Everything okay over there, Ele?” he called out.

The tone of his voice half asleep had her gasping quietly. She sat there a second or two, trailing her fingers lazily over the thin blanket on the bed. “No. It’s not. I…”

“Yeah?” Adam was on his feet and making his way across the room to her, sitting just at the edge of the bed, his back to her.

His eyes met hers and she swallowed hard, nodding to the bed. “We’re adults and watching you over there barely fitting onto that fabric covered boulder.. I’d just feel better if you slept on the bed too? Please?”

Adam eyed her. Everything inside him insisted that he should protest -especially given the way he felt about her and what she’d gone through earlier, but one look into those eyes of hers had him nodding. “Okay, fine.”

She smiled and patted the empty side of the bed and Adam pulled back the sheets getting in and getting as comfortable as he possibly could, all things considered. He tensed a little when she slipped her leg between his, an arm going over him as she cozied right up to him from behind.

“Adam?”

“Y-yeah, hon?” he stammered out, taking a deep breath, trying to resist the urge to roll over and just kiss her already, no matter how shitty the timing might be for it at the moment.

“Thank you for being there. Thank you for being my best friend.”

… Darlin if you knew just how much I wanted to be so much more than that… The thought came and Adam tried to push it to the back of his mind. After a few seconds, he answered quietly, “You deserved better anyway. As far as tonight, and bein your friend.. I want to because you’re an amazing person. You don’t have to thank me.”

“ I know,” she yawned, her cheek nuzzling right against his bare upper back as she moved even closer, “but I wanted to. Because I.. You don’t know how much it means to me. How much you kinda mean to me, Hangman.”

“Night, darlin.”

“Night, big guy.”

XXX

Adam woke up to the sun streaming in the windows and to discover that during the night, he’d rolled onto his back. And that apparently, Giselle draped herself across his body. He took a deep breath and watched her sleeping for a few seconds. He carefully reached out for his cell phone on the nightstand and when he caught sight of the fact that the sun was so bright for a very good reason, he sat up, rubbing his hand through his hair.

On the one hand, she was sleeping so well.. As upset as she’d been the night before, he’d honestly been afraid that she’d have a rough night full of tossing and turning.. On the other hand, they both had flights to get on.

… or A FLIGHT.. Because it’s not like you have anything in particular to go… the thought snuck in before he could stop it, and he shook his head at himself.

He leaned down and gently shook her awake. “Hey, Ele? We have exactly ten minutes to get dressed and get over to the airport for check in.”

Giselle shot up in bed, biting her lip as doing so as fast as she had led to the sheet wrapped around her upper body very nearly falling down. She blushed a little and Adam turned his head.

After grabbing the shirt she’d taken off at some point during the night and tugging it down, she tapped his shoulder and yawned. “I was sleepin so good. Parts of me are really dreadin this whole goin home thing..”

“Yeah?”

“Well.. I know how my mama is.”

She fidgeted and Adam felt his breath literally catching hold in his throat, found himself hoping despite it all that she was about to hint at what he felt like she might be.

Giselle took a deep breath and caught his gaze. “ I don’t.. Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

“No, no.” Adam tilted her chin, making her meet his gaze.

“You’ve probably got plans and the last thing you wanna spend Christmas doing is hangin out with me..”

… you couldn’t be more wrong if you tried… he thought to himself as he chuckled and eyed her, a teasing hint to his voice, “Ele, are you tryin to ask me somethin?”

“I was, yeah.. But it’s dumb. I mean you’ve already done this..” Giselle gestured to the room they’d spent the night in and she took a deep breath. “It’s just I… When you’re around, I feel better.”

… and maybe I just want to… i don’t know, give myself the chance I’ve been too afraid to take before and get to know you better…. She realized she’d gone silent and she added quickly, “We don’t have to tell them we’re dating or anything, I promise..”

Adam chuckled, staring at his hands as he pulled himself together. What she was asking was… a huge deal for him. And there was something a little different about her this morning, in the way she kept looking at him, and all the little touches.

She leaned against him and sighed. “Sorry.” - followed by an awkward but cute laugh. Adam chuckled and turned to the side so that he held her gaze. “You don’t have to be sorry. Yeah. I’ll come back with you.”

“Wait, huh? R-really?” it caught her off guard and she bit her lip, catching his gaze, feeling relieved when she saw that smile of his.

“That bein said, darlin.. We’re kinda down to 8 minutes.”

“Shit.. But I don’t wanna get out of this bed.” Giselle pretended to whine, pouting even as she looked up at him as he stood. She turned away quickly when she realized just how little happened to be covering his body.

Her cheeks heated in a blush and despite looking away, she may have peeked through her fingers, sucking in a sharp breath.

“It did feel really comfortable.” Adam sighed and gazed at the bed -and her, as he grabbed his discarded jeans and tee shirt. He’d just finished dressing when she slipped out from between the sheets, grabbing her own jeans, tugging them up her legs. It called entirely too much attention and Adam had to turn around completely.

Even that did no good because the mirror over the dresser gave him a view. He coughed and called out, “About done, Ele?”

Giselle tapped his shoulder and waved up at him, nodding to the door. “Yeah. We should get going now.”

“We should.”

In her hurry to get dressed, she’d grabbed one of the tee shirts he had out the night before. He chuckled and she looked down, palming at her face and quietly groaning before giving a mumbled “Fuck it. I have zero time to change. And it’s comfy.”

“Looks cute on ya too.” - it came out before Adam could stop it, making her blush all over again. They stood there, migrating closer and closer for a few seconds until finally, Giselle grabbed for her backpack.

“ You can’t say I didn’t warn you in advance. My family is a little.. Out there.” she told him with an amused laugh as Adam smiled back at her and held the door open for her, “I can’t wait to meet them.”

#adam hangman page fanfiction #adam hangman page fanfic #adam hangman page fic #adam hangman page oneshot #adam hangman page imagine #// part 1 of 2.

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nelllraiser · 4 years

Text

nell no yell (maybe) | alain & nell

LOCATION: dell’s tavern and alain’s house. TIMING: shortly after alain sustained his concussion. PARTIES: @carbrakes-and-stakes and @nelllraiser.

If there was one thing Nell could desperately use after a week like this. It was a drink. For once, she didn’t feel like having company, unsure how to act like everything was normal around people at the moment. Sometimes, it was strange to think of how different her problems might have been if she’d been- well- normal. Not once had she ever wished to be normal, but sometimes she simply grew curious what her life would be like. Would she have gone to college? No, that was doubtful. But what would her place have been in a mundane world, when all she did now was so deeply steeped in the supernatural? She wouldn't trade it for anything, but she couldn't help but vaguely wonder what the grass might be like on the other side. This was what she was thinking of when she stepped into Dell’s Tavern late on a Monday night. It shouldn’t be busy, and she was right as she looked up at the bar. There was only one person sitting there. But a double take later, the beginnings of a scowl was coming over her features. She knew that profile. Alain. In a moment she was marching up to him, and voicing her demands. “We need to talk.”

Alain had left the hospital almost as soon as the nurse turned her back on him, which was about 12 hours after the incident. Unsure of what had happened to him, all he could trust were flashes of last night that appeared to him at times. Blanche holding a pan, then not holding it anymore. And still, he could swear that it was what hit him. None of this make sense. And man was he angry at how things went down. The timing could not have been worse. He could have dealt with Blanche’s anger and pain, but he couldn’t forgive himself for letting her see that. Maybe he should have stopped. Postponed. If those troubles had left his mind now, it was only because he had been sitting and drinking for quite a while already at Dell’s, and that his attention was now focused on a basketball game on tv. Still, when he heard the irritating sound of an already too familiar voice, Alain realized that he probably should have picked any other bar than this one. No one would have bothered him at the Silver bullet. “You need to drink your liquor in silence, just like me,” he drily replied, not even giving her a glance.

There was no way in hell Nell would do as Alain requested when it came to drinking in silence. She had far too many questions for the man, and even though she’d come to Dell’s hoping to escape for a moment— she couldn’t do that when one of her problems was glaring her in the face in the form of Alain. There wasn’t much patience left in her, and she hadn’t started out with much in the first place when it came to him and his attempts to kill Remmy. “No,” she said bluntly, succinctly. “Are you going to try and kill Remmy again or not?” Even though she knew Alain hadn’t dragged Remmy to his house or anything, he’d still been planning to go through with the killing. He would have left Remmy die thinking the world was better off without them. No one deserved a death like that unless it was true.

"Why do you fucking care ? It's just another fucking monster. How's that different from the things you catch for the Ring?" Alain's eyes reluctantly moved away from the TV screen to look at her. Whoever Nell was, he did not buy that holier than thou attitude she had been showing him since they met at his house. She took his job, he quit it because even he thought it was too rough. So really who did she think she was, lecturing him when she, of all people could have understood what it was like to be in his shoes. Was she blinded by Blanche's certitudes? Either way, he would not be lectured by a hypocrite. Finishing his glass of scotch, he raised his finger at the bartender, getting his wallet from his coat. Clearly this was no longer a safe haven for him. "I'm leaving."

“They’re not just another monster, Alain! That’s the whole point. They have feelings. Hopes. Dreams. And they’re a nice person. They don’t deserve to have that all just taken away from them.” But then Nell frowned, not expecting her and The Ring to be brought into this. “I told you- I only catch the bad ones. The ones who like causing pain.” Perhaps she hasn’t said it in so many words, but she has tried her best. She didn’t particularly think she’d ever change Alain’s mind when it came to this, but that wouldn’t stop her from arguing her point. She never knew when to quit. Or perhaps...it was just that she didn’t ever want to. This moment was no exception as she decided to invite herself along to wherever Alain was headed. “Great. So where are we going? Sure you don’t want a drink for the road?”

“I don’t care,” Alain, with all the patience he had, wasn’t feeling all too patient right now. Maybe it was the fact that he had been drinking nearly a whole bottle of scotch by himself, but his tolerance for bullshit wasn’t at his highest now. He paid his bill and stood up from his stool carefully, unsure of what his legs would do when they’d touch the ground. Gripping tightly onto the counter, he looked down at his feet, then slowly looked up toward the door. Alright, he was definitely more dizzy than he thought. It had been a decade and a half since the last time he had been drinking this much, so he shouldn’t have been surprised. “What? No, I’m heading back home,” he took a moment to gather his thoughts. Why did she even want to follow him anyway. Had he been sober, he would have told her to fuck off and head back to hypocrisy town, but he did not have that type of wit with him now. “I don’t need your company, I’m fine.”

“Yeah that much is obvious,” Nell retorted, some heat entering her words. How could he just not care? She knew it most likely had to do with his Hunter upbringing, but still. It wasn’t like you could just...turn empathy off in a person, right? At least- not a person like Alain, she thought. But she squinted at him as he stood, taking note of his uncertainty. “Are you...drunk?” What was that saying about drinking alone? She wasn’t sure, but she knew it was generally thought of as being bad. Nevermind the fact that she’d been coming here to drink alone. “Yeah you can go home. I don’t care. I’m just saying I’m coming with you, because I’m not done talking to you.” More like talking at him. “And you said we could talk later. About all...this. I didn’t ask if you wanted company.” She wasn’t particularly planning on giving him a choice.

“Then why do you keep bothering me with that? I won’t change my mind,” Alain grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest. He had given up on fastening the buttons of his coat already. Walking to the front door proved to be doable, although he was caught back by his dizziness when then cool air of the night hit his face. Damn, was it that late already? He was hungry. At least, that’s the information his brain got when it connected the dark night to the fact that Alain had not had food since it was still sunny out there. “On one condition, I’m starving and I’ll only talk with you if you have dinner with me,” he was in no condition to drive and Al’s diner wasn’t too far. Either that or she was able to drive him home and help him cook dinner. He still had some civet de chevreuil from when Nora came by too.

“I’ve never given up in my entire life, and I’m not gonna start doing it now.” Especially when a friend’s life was on the line. Not to mention all the other innocent people Alain might possibly go out and try to kill. Nell rolled her eyes as she watched him try to button his jacket, and called him to wait when he stepped outside of the bar. “Stand still, you dumbass,” she said before reaching out to try and button the jacket he’d been struggling with. “Should you even be drinking this much after a concussion? They never let me drink after concussions.” His request surprised her though, and her head tilted curiously to the side. “I can’t drive you anywhere. I have a motorcycle with no sidecar, and I’m not letting you on it while you’re drunk. But if you have some other way of getting there...I suppose.”

“Why do you care?” Alain glanced up from her hands, which he had been staring at the whole time she was buttoning his coat. He had never been fond of being touched by people he barely knew. “No, seriously, why do you care? If I die, your best friend is safe, right? That’s how you think this works, huh?” He shook his head in disgust and disdain, and immediately regretted it. He felt so dizzy. “Bordel de…” Alain muttered, staring at the tip of his shoes for an instant, focusing. Yeah no. He raised his finger, looking like he was about to throw up. Yup. Making a face, he took a couple of steps away from Nell and came back to her wiping his chin clean. Well, if she did not completely hate him after this. “A motorcycle, huh?” He pointed at the car parked behind them, “that’s mine. Can you drive stick?” He laid his back against the wall and took a deep breath. Vomiting had helped, it seemed. “There must be cabs or something, I don’t know, Nell.”

At first, Nell mistook his words. “Why do I care? Because I don’t want people who don’t deserve to die to just get murdered.” But she soon realized her mistake as he repeated his words, and her lips pursed. “I’m not stupid! I know you’re not the only one who would want to kill them.” Why did she care, though? She couldn’t really...provide an answer. “Maybe I’m just not as eager of a killing machine as you are.” Probably a lie. Nell’s nose scrunched as he returned after his moment of weakness, reluctantly reaching into the large pocket of her jacket and rustling around. In a moment, she’d procured a mint from some random restaurant she’d dined in and wordlessly handed it over. “Ahhhh- I don’t- exactly have a liscnese. We can just Lyft or something, though,” she said, pulling out her phone. “Where are we going?”

"Can't murder a dead person," Alain observed unwrapping the mint she had given him with a sad smile. It did solve at least one of his problems. "Thanks," he scrunched up his nose and looked away from her. "Are you sure about that though?" Clearing his throat, he added : "Being a killing machine, I mean. I've seen that look in your eyes the other day," a look he saw in each of his family members' eyes, in his own eyes. She probably did not want to admit it, because it would mean that she was just like him. Maybe it was the alcohol but Alain was connecting quite a few dots here, that linked him to Nell. "I'd like to go home and have some food," he replied. She would do whatever she pleased with that.

Nell huffed, doing her best not to yell again, though Alain was making it very difficult. “Look. If we’re going to talk. You’re not allowed to say things like that,” she said firmly, pointing a stern finger in his direction. “They might have died, but they are not currently dead. You can’t act like this is black and white!” But she looked up at him, uncertain what he was trying to say for a moment. “Maybe. But not like you. I don’t kill people or things that don’t deserve it.” Ahhh, perhaps she should have left the bit out about people but...it was too late now. Besides, she’d only killed a few human people. Nell sighed. Of course he wanted to have food at his house. “Fine,” she said, putting in his address on the app. Soon enough, a car had arrived for them.

Alain frowned at her as a response. Say what things? The truth. “You only care because they are your friend. I could kill hundreds of other zombies that you wouldn’t tell me this crap,” he sat down on the floor as he waited for the car to get there. His head was still spinning, and he felt more comfortable like this. “People ?” He raised an eyebrow, “do you kill humans? Nell,” he pulled on her coat to get her attention, “Nell. That doesn’t make you a better person. Killing doesn’t care for feelings or who deserved it,” this was something he had heard his father say when he was a kid, and quite frankly he agreed with that. “Fine,” he repeated, getting into the car. Could Nell even cook, he found himself wondering, and so he asked her that question.

“Wrong,” Nell said stubbornly, shortly. “I only kill things that hurt other things intentionally or too often. And if it’s not intentional...I try to help.” Her moral compass wasn’t perfect, but it worked well enough for her. At first, she pretended like she didn’t hear him asking about people, but it was impossible to ignore when he tugged on her jacket. She looked down, finding that Alain actually looked...somewhat and somehow endearing in this position- like a child trying to get an adult’s attention. “It doesn’t matter,” she said quickly, hoping he’d forget that detail when he was sober. “I never said I was the better person. And yeah killing can’t care cause it’s an action- not the person behind it! Maybe we kill more than most people- but the point is we’re not machines. We can think and choose for ourselves. We don’t have to just kill no matter what.” He wanted her to cook? She was surprised by his question, but proudly declared, “Of course I can cook. And I’m good at it.”

Alain raised an eyebrow. If those were her standards then vigilantes like him and herself both deserved to die by her own hand. Still, Alain was convinced that there was something noble in what he did, ridding the population of the scum, the menace that represented the undead. “You make it sound like you are holier than me, you did back at my house the other day, and you kind of do it again, now,” he smiled, looking up at her. This was in no way a personal attack against her, but rather something he had noticed. “We’re both trash, aren’t we?” He was not really expecting an answer to his question. Who would admit to being trash. Alain often drank too much when he was in a bad place, and often, he ended up in an even worse place as his drinking got worse. The idea of a good meal when they would get home did for a moment, manage to brighten his mood a little. “Me too. We should cook together sometimes. Share recipes.” Inside the car, Alain was leaning against the door. He rubbed his eyes with his fingertips and turned away from Nell, looking outside.

Nell’s bottom lip jutted out in a stubborn pout when he smiled, refusing to give him the satisfaction of him possibly being right in anything. “It’s just different.” But her gaze slid over to his, uncertainty entering her voice as his words surprised her. “You...think you’re trash?” Sad. That was sad. But she didn’t want to feel pity for this man. Unless he was only joking. His words made her own confidence waver, thinking of all the people she’d alienated in her life with bad choices. “Bea’s more inventive than me,” she deflected, for some reason suddenly a bit self-conscious. “She likes to try new dishes and things, and whip new things together. I just- do what I know.” It was perhaps a bit of a flip in their personalities, a bit opposite of what some might expect.

Alain glanced away from her. "Sure," he didn't think too much about it, after all, he had already made up his mind as to what he thought of Nell. To him this was a story of hypocrisy. Not that he could blame her. It was hard to see the truth. Alain was too aware that what he did was problematic and that most humans did not get it. He was fine with that. He didn't actually consider himself to be trash. But still would have worn that title with honor, as long as it meant that people would be safe. "Bea?" Probably some friend of her. He shut his eyes for a moment, yawning. He covered his mouth and sighed. "As long as you know the basics, you can do everything with a bit of perseverance," he mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. They would be at his place soon and he wondered what would happen then. She did say that they needed to talk, and he wondered if this was still on the table.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Nell said stubbornly as he ignored the comment about trash. “My sister,” was the short explanation she offered, not particularly wanting to get into her family’s life story just now. “My sister who doesn’t know about the Ring,” she added as an afterthought, She figured the chances of Alain and Bea crossing paths was slim but— it was better to make sure he knew she didn’t want that bit of information being spread around, right? Of course, she couldn’t know if he would actually respect that wish. “I’m not saying I only know the basics. I’m just saying- I’m not going on Chopped or whatever anytime soon.” By now though, they’d arrived at his place, and she was exiting the car while keeping an eye on Alain. The last thing she needed was him to trip over his own feet and take a tumble or something.

“I wonder why you didn’t tell her about the Ring,” Alain gave her a knowing look, shaking his head at her. “Scared that she’ll hate you for it?” He smiled to himself, and got out of the car before she could ask more questions. Once again, the cold air was a relief, and he stood for an instant there, taking deep breaths. Still, as much as he felt better out there, he still stumbled on his own foot and didn’t fall face first on the ground because he hit the front door first. The loud thud woke both his dogs up, who started barking as a result. “Woops,” he laughed to himself, and searching for his keys, finally got his hands on the them and started struggling to get them into the lock. Alain finally gave up and left it to Nell to do it for him.

Nell sent Alain a dirty look, warning him off the subject. “I know what you’re trying to do.” Or at least she thought she did. He was trying to show they were the same, wasn’t he? “No that’s not why. I just don’t need more lectures from her. Besides I already told you. I only bring in the ones that deserve it.” But she was curious. “Is that why you left? Didn’t want people hating you for it?” Instinctively, she reached out as he stumbled to help catch him, but it seemed like the door had already kept him from smashing his face in. “It’s okay, puppies,” Nell called out absently, perhaps a little excited that she might actually get to meet Alain’s dogs this time instead of just yell at him. But then she was grumbling about Alain being a “little man-baby” as she took the keys, and opened the door. Cursing the fact that she couldn’t just magic a light on as she was still trying to keep her cover, she began to search blindly for a light switch against the wall.

“If you already know what I’m trying to do already, then you must think it’s true,” someone so defensive could not have a clear conscience. And maybe it explained why she was so fond of him in the first place. A fan. Alain had never before had people call themselves that, and it bugged him that she would love what he did at the Ring and hate what he did out there. The things he had done there were so much worse. “I don’t care about people’s opinion, I would be a poor hunter if I did,” his voice raised as he snapped, when he looked at her, it was with anger in his eyes. “I left because you cannot spend your life hunting and then working at the ring. I was losing my fucking mind there,” he spat those words with sorrow and pain. Thinking about his past brought him back to a place he tried to forget about. And it reminded him of Audrey and how much he missed her, still to this day. The door opened, he did not wait for her to turn on the light, and found his way to the couch without too much trouble, still fuming.

“No, I don’t,” Nell replied simply, and stubbornly. “We have very different practices when it comes to supernatural creatures, apparently.” It was obvious he didn’t care about people’s opinions when it came to his monster hunting, but she frowned as he seemed to get angry, not particularly thinking that her question would get such a response. What was it about it that apparently made him sensitive? But his new words had a different depth to them, and she tried to look closer as she asked more questions. “What do you mean? Don’t you still spend your life hunting, anyway? Losing your mind how?” Nell vaguely remembered where the kitchen was from the last time she’d been here, and began searching through cupboards and the like to see exactly what she was working with. “I would have brought your frying pan back with me if I’d known I’d be cooking.” It was the very beginnings of a tease.

“You’re not a hunter, you wouldn’t get it,” Alain mumbled to himself. People who weren’t raised to hunt couldn’t have the same rules as he did, as hunters did. You were taught to hunt vampires and zombies, and that’s what you did, no exceptions, no questions asked, no feelings, no crying, no drama. All of this seemed natural to him, and he had never considered it to be murder. Those things were dead anyway. And he did not consider them to be human beings either. Did people mourn for the innocent cow in their plate? No, even though that cow did nothing wrong her whole life. What was the difference. He did not expect anyone but hunters to get that. “What I mean, is that you can’t spend your days and night doing the exact same thing. It changes my mind, doing something else, something not so violent.” Once again, she wouldn’t get it, the isolation inherent to the position of hunter. It had taken him years of therapy, the love of a wonderful woman, and a lot of time for him to get where he was now. He knew that he still had a lot of issues but he had never felt so well as he did these days. Still, he wishes he still had Audrey to share it with. “You can keep the damn thing. It’s a Creusot pan, it’ll last you a lifetime. You should give it to your zombie friend when you’re gone,” he scoffed. Always with the bitter humour.

“I wouldn’t get it, because I wasn’t taught to have a blind prejudice,” Nell parried, her words not particularly filled with emotion. It was simply a fact, and she was trying to do more than blindly blame Alain for who he was. After all- prejudice was learned, not inherent. “And when you were doing something so violent? It changed you how?” Nell asked curiously, perhaps the smallest curiosity forming in her about what long-term work at the Ring might do to someone. Had she known his thoughts about isolation, she might have disagreed. Making and keeping friends had always been difficult for her, and now with her new line of work- that didn’t exactly change. At least Alain had other Hunters to relate to. She was some strange in between. Neither Hunter nor civilian. But thus far, she didn’t feel as if there were any negative effects on her from all the violence in her life. Most of the things she did were steeped in violence at this point. Capturing for the Ring. Fighting for the Ring. Bounty hunting. Though she supposed she did have her garden. Did Alain have the same reasons for gardening as she did? To know the joy of creating something rather than constantly destroying? “When I’m gone? Are you planning my death already? And what do you want to eat?” She was still getting her bearings of the kitchen, looking for items she might need.

“Don’t be cute. Doesn’t suit you,” he grumbled. One of Alain’s dogs approached him and rested his head on his lap, not too concerned with the state of his owner. Or maybe they were used to it. After losing Audrey, he had been an unconsolable wreck. His loss fueled his hatred of the supernatural even more in ways that people like Nell would never understand. She was too young to even think about death and what it meant, and so was Blanche. “Unlike you people, I wasn’t raised thinking the world is a nice place, and the ring comforted me with that idea.” Considering that Alain hadn’t protested about the head in his lap, Orion had seen it fitting to just climb on top of him and ask for more pets, which the hunter was happy to offer. Two dogs, a house and an enterprise. This probably didn’t seem like much but those things kept him going. “You know, I think you should tell Blanche about it, and whoever you care about. They’ll eventually find out about what it is you do. It’s going to be too late then,” he yawned loudly. “If you keep fighting or working or whatever it is you do for the Ring, you’ll die sooner than later. Although you must already know that.”

Nell gave the dog near Alain a wistful look, wishing she could pet one of the dogs. They were very cute. Absently, she wondered if Greg might like to meet some dogs some day. She knew he wasn’t actually a dog, but maybe he’d still have fun playing with them. After all- humans liked playing with dogs, didn’t they? “Too bad I’m just naturally cute.” But she sighed before saying, “I know it’s not a nice place now. I’m not a child.” Again she watched as Orion seemed all to happy with Alain, wondering if the other pup might grace her with its presence. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said reluctantly. “My sister already hates me, and Blanche- well- maybe I could tell Blanche.” Things had changed since she’d initially thought better of telling her friend. Nell shrugged before saying. “Death doesn’t scare me.” Even though he hadn’t told her what he wanted to eat, she did her best with what she could find, heating a pan on the stove.

“Then quit acting like a damn child, you can’t and you won’t be saving everyone,” Alain looked over the back of his couch, trying to straighten himself up a little, although the dog complicated things for him. “Orion, you’re crushing me, you idiot,” he told his dog in French, although kissing the animal’s snout anyway, and getting his whole face licked in return. Alain very absent-mindedly listened to Nell at this point, and was starting to feel quite sleepy now. And so he did not get to yell at Nell for saying something so cheesy as Death doesn’t scare me, or to lecture her about how important it was to be scared of death. It wasn’t long before a steady and loud enough snore could be heard coming from the living room.

“I’m not a child!” Nell said a bit more forcefully this time, far too tired of everyone telling her she was one. Just because she was younger, and had different ideas and ways of dealing with them didn’t mean she was any less than them. For a long while, she simply prattled on at Alain, determined to get something through his head as she continued to cook. But when she next turned around, she found he was fast asleep. Honestly,the audacity of him to fall asleep while she was cooking him a good meal. But her annoyance faded, and she instead put the meal she’d finished in the fridge for him later placing a somewhat snarky note on the counter, telling him where it was. And then she was out the door, giving a solemn little wave goodbye to the dogs, and locking it behind her.

#chatzy #nell no yell #ch:Alain

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fictional-affliction · 5 years

Text

Under Pressure, Chapter 5

Word Count: 2,020

Link to previous chapter: https://fictional-affliction.tumblr.com/post/185895670430/under-pressure-chapter-4

She could feel them staring and hear the whispers. She heard them when she raced out of Geoff’s house after throwing on some clothes and grabbing Cate; they looked at her in shock as she held back tears. She could hear them again now as she sat in English class on Monday morning. When she had gotten to school the walk down the hallway was as if she was under a microscope. Her classmates spoke like she wasn’t within hearing distance.

They were fucking when she walked in.

I heard they’ve been doing it since freshman year.

Apparently she’s a screamer.

Courtney had heard it all and it was only first period. She breathed in and out deeply to try to slow down her heart rate as her nails dug into her palms to keep them from shaking. Her brown eyes bore into the whiteboard as she tried to block it all out.

A stack of small blue notebooks, that the school provided for written tests, was placed on her desk, drawing her attention.

“Take one and pass it back.” Her English professor prompted. Courtney turned around in her desk to do as she was told and was met with Heather’s smiling face.

“Not so ‘holier than thou’ as we all thought huh? Don’t worry about it though, everyone has their shortcomings.” Heather faked sincerity as she took the booklets from Courtney. Courtney wasn’t so bothered that Heather was being mean, that’s just how Heather was. She was more affected by what she said.

She was ruined. Her reputation down the drain. She had prided herself on being the prime example of a model student. In one night her model student status had been reduced to that of the school slut.

Courtney’s vision went hazy as her thoughts began to spiral. As the professor wrote the essay questions on Shakespeare's Macbeth on the board, her heart beat faster and faster. Her professor saying ‘you may begin’ sounded so far away. She tried to focus and opened her notebook.

The questions on the board were all ones she knew the answers to, but when she put her pencil to paper she couldn’t organize her thoughts. Her brain kept jumping around and when she tried to recall quotes from the reading she was answered with the rumors spreading around about her.

But she had to do this. She had to prove she was still that model student despite what everyone was saying about her.

Before she knew it the bell rang. She frantically scribbled down her last sentence and scanned over her essay. Usually she was done with at least fifteen minutes to spare. As she left the class, instead of turning down the correct hallway to her Calculus classroom she made a bee line for the girls bathroom.

She upheaved the contents of her stomach into the toilet of the first stall and gagged until nothing else came out. After she left the stall she immediately received looks from a couple of sophomores. Courtney kept her eyes ahead as she washed her hands but their murmurs weren’t lost on her. Right as she was about to leave she heard one of their comments.

“She’s probably pregnant.” Courtney turned around wildly.

“Do you have something to say!” The sophomore looked back in fear at her outburst and shook her head quickly.

“Good! Then get out!” She screamed and they all scurried past her. Courtney kept her back against the door. She looked up to the ceiling and fought back the stinging sensation of tears prickling her eyes. She’d cried enough Saturday night after she had ignored Cate’s questions about if it was true, and if she was okay. She’d slammed her bedroom door in her face and wept under her covers where no one could hear her.

Courtney wasn’t going to give anyone the satisfaction of making her cry again and slapped her cheek with an open palm. The pain was something else to focus on besides her humiliation and she hit herself again. The late bell rang and Courtney felt her frustration boil over. This time her fist collided with the bathroom wall.

Courtney winced and brought her hand to her face. Her knuckles were already bruising. She pretended it didn’t hurt as she opened the bathroom door and thought up an excuse for why she was late. She just had to make it though six more periods.

When she opened the door and briskly stepped out she collided with someone. Courtney was already too annoyed to make a real apology and grumbled a quick ‘sorry’ but the person held by the shoulders.

“I tried calling you... and texted...” Duncan sounded embarrassed to confess that he had spent the rest of Saturday night and the majority of Sunday trying to contact her. It wasn’t his style but he was worried, and he hoped that there was still a chance for them.

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” It was harsh, even to her own ears, but the words kept pouring out.

“This would have never happened if you hadn’t made me go to that stupid party. My reputation is ruined and it’s all your fault!” She knew that wasn’t true as she pushed him away from her, but it felt better to put the blame on someone else.

“Who cares what anyone says, they don’t matter.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re probably getting high fives and pats on the back while I’m the skank who spread her legs for you.”

“We know it wasn’t like that. You know people make shit up.” Through her rage Duncan could see how hurt she was and reached out to console her. She recoiled from his touch.

“Don’t touch me! I don’t want you to touch me ever again.” She pushed past Duncan without looking back.

---------

Duncan blew out a long puff of smoke as he sat on the curb outside of the school building.

“I can’t believe it.” Gwen said between drags. “I really need to take up Geoff’s offer and go to his parties one of these days.” Duncan ran a hand through his hair and huffed.

“She hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.” Gwen tried to reassure him although Duncan wasn’t convinced.

“I ruined her reputation.”

“Why can’t girls hook up without automatically being labeled a slut, yet guys can fuck whoever they want? Besides, everyone knows you and Courtney have been obsessed with each other since daycare.”

“Not obsessed.” Gwen turned to him with a deadpan expression on her pale face. Duncan chose to blow smoke out of his nose instead of giving her any recognition.

“It’ll blow over.” Gwen nudged Duncan with her elbow. Being long time friends meant that she could tell when he was genuinely upset, even if he wouldn’t say. “So...how was it...” Gwen nudged him again, this time with a knowing smile.

“Up until we were interrupted it was...” Duncan drifted off when he started to recall Courtney’s skin against his, her legs around his waist, how her body reacted to his so perfectly; their chemistry was off the charts.

Gwen watched as Duncan got this big goofy grin on his face.

“Ew, forget I asked.” Duncan glared.

“And just where were you Saturday night?” Gwen instantly started to go red and turned her face down. She mumbled something under her breath that Duncan heard but made her repeat anyway.

“I was with Trent!”

“And I’m the obsessed one.” Duncan laughed, Gwen may be all frowns and darkness but she had a weak spot for Trent. Gwen stood up and brushed off her skirt.

“C’mon we gotta go to art class,” she stomped out her cigarette, “just make her talk to you, that usually works.”

----------

Courtney had made it through the day, almost. After her run in with Duncan the rest of her classes had gone like the first. People staring, students whispering, even a few teachers had given her a concerned glance from overhearing the school’s gossip. It was much of the same and by the end of seventh period, she just wanted to go home. Even so, she held her head high. She wouldn’t let them know they got to her.

She started to walk around a corner of the hallway when she heard her name pop up in a conversation on the other side of the hall, and abruptly stopped.

“Trust me, they were practically doing it when I walked in, he had a condom ready and everything.”

Courtney quickly peaked around the corner to confirm her suspicions that it was that same senior Amanda, who was the true source of her humiliation. Courtney stayed hidden to continue to eavesdrop, but had to silence her reaction to jump when she felt someone’s hand on her arm.

“Court I’ve been looking for you all day-”

“Shh!” Courtney whispered putting her index finger to her mouth. Bridgette had searched for Courtney in all their usual meeting spots throughout the day but she was nowhere to be found. Bridgette was really concerned about her, especially when the only text back she had gotten the day before only said ‘I’m fine.’ Then with everything being spread around about her today, she was worried.

Courtney bent forward to get as close as possible without being seen and Bridgette curiously followed.

“The whole school knows now.” One of Amanda’s friends shamelessly pointed out.

“Oops.” Amanda laughed and her friends giggled along with her. Courtney’s blood began to boil. She’d had it. Next thing she knew she had rounded the corner and was face to face with Amanda.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You think you can just go around broadcasting people’s business?” Bridgette was close behind her and tried to get Courtney to back down.

“C’mon Courtney it’s not worth it, let’s go.” At this point Courtney didn’t care, she was furious. Amanda rolled her eyes and twirled a piece of blonde hair.

“Oh please, what are you going to do about it? You wouldn’t dare do anything that could get you into trouble.”

“Don’t underestimate me.” Courtney stepped closer and Bridgette tugged on Courtney’s arm.

“If you want to leave, then go Bridgette.” Bridgette didn’t budge, but did take out her phone and sent out a quick emergency text. Amanda took a slight step back from Courtney but didn’t stop antagonizing her.

“Go ahead, prove me wrong, it would at least give some reason for why Duncan would be into you.”

“Is that what this is about?” Courtney thought back to how Duncan had been flirting with Amanda at the party until she showed up. “You ruined my name because Duncan ditched you at the party? Just because you were jealous?”

“Jealous? Don’t think you’re that special, you’re just another notch in his bedpost.” That struck a cord with Courtney, it was enough to make her see red and tackle her to the ground causing the other girls to look on in disbelief.

“Get off of me!” Amanda yelled and scratched at Courtney but Courtney was stronger than she looked. When filled with this much rage, she was almost unstoppable. She wanted to get just one good hit in, enough to teach her a lesson.

Unfortunately she didn’t get that small bit of vengeance she craved because Courtney was physically pulled off right as she took a swing at her. Courtney kicked and flailed but she was held tightly around her waist. Amanda stood up and brushed herself off, a triumphant smirk on her lips.

“Get lost.” Duncan, who still had Courtney firmly in his grasp, directed toward Amanda and her little group of friends.

“You used to love my company remember?” As angry as Courtney was that gained her attention and she stopped struggling to look at Amanda.

“Oh, she doesn’t know?” It didn’t take a lot for Courtney to put the pieces together. It all made sense now. Courtney broke free of Duncan’s grasp and retrieved her backpack that had fallen to the floor in the chaos.

“Don’t follow me.” Courtney harshly threw over her shoulder as she left the scene.

#duncney #under pressure #fanfic #total drama #td courtney #td duncan #sorry it took me so long

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ourloveisforthelovely · 5 years

Text

Rocking the Boat 12

Supernatural AU

Link to Chapter 11

Words: 3,410

Pairings: Gabriel x Reader/Dean x Cas

___________

The next morning you woke up at the foot of the bed with no recollection of how you had gotten there. Once you had slammed your bedroom door and warded it against archangels it was time to hit up the fifth of whiskey that was in your sock drawer.

Moaning, you sat up and looked at the clock. 9:45. You muttered some choice curse words under your breath before hauling your ass out of bed. Maybe if you were lucky, Gabriel wouldn’t start trying to make up until after you had your hangover disappear.

Very funny ...nice hope.

You thought before putting on your sunglasses. Gabriel would probably be parked right outside of your bedroom door. He was probably waiting for the chance to apologize for being an angry jealous doofus. The only question now was, did you want to forgive him?

Part of you said fuck it. He got what he got. The other part was pleading to make up with the archangel. He was, after all, your first boyfriend and you did love him. You couldn’t help having the feeling that if the two of you did break up; Gabriel would go right back to his old ways. Could you really handle the thought of seeing him all over some porn star? You knew that you couldn’t.

You couldn’t help but think how if Gabriel would just have been honest with you then none of this would be happening. You needed the truth..about Rowena, Kali, the porn stars...everything. Gabriel knew everything about you and you knew so little about him.

“A relationship built on dishonesty won’t go far.”

Dean’s words came to mind immediately. You sighed. Here was another prime example of your father being right. Were you going to tell him this news? Hell no!

You were stunned to see no sign of Gabriel outside of your bedroom door when you opened it. Was he already gone and doing his own thing?

When you walked into the kitchen with your sunglasses on Dean looked up with a smile.

“Someone has their hangover goggles on.”

You gave Dean a cold glare before looking around the room. The moment that your eyes landed on Gabriel, you were relieved. He sat across from Cas looking down at the table with devastated eyes. If the two of you had no previous relations, you would have wondered who pissed in his cheerios.

Gabriel only looked up when Dean made the comment about hangover goggles. You were again thankful that he couldn’t see your eyes (or so you stupidly thought). Gabriel looked disappointed as you sunk into the chair beside Jack.

The nephilim turned his attention to you. He spoke in a nice soothing voice that didn’t make your head pound.

“Are you hunger over? Dean said that you would be.”

You winced as Dean slammed the refrigerator door.

“Yeah, he was right. At least I got wasted in my room and didn’t wake up with some stranger that I didn’t know.”

You fought the urge to smile as Dean crossed his arms over his chest.

“How much did you drink?”

“Dad, can we skip the Spanish Inquisition? I really don’t feel great and your voice echoes. Besides I’m an adult. If I was to get plastered it shouldn’t be a problem.”

Dean didn’t say anything but he really didn’t have to. He gave you that parental look of contempt that you knew so well. You got it anytime that you did something that wasn’t too great in his opinion (forget the fact that he drank like a fish a vast majority of the time).

“Fine. Good point. I’m going to fix some sausage, Anyone want some?”

“Dean.”

Gabriel’s voice was calm as you whimpered. The last thing that you wanted to think about was sausage!

“I got the good kind too. It doesn’t have those little hard things in it that gets stuck in your teeth.”

That was all it took to get you out of the chair and making a brisk run to the bathroom.

Gabriel turned his attention back to Dean.

“For being her dad, you really are a shit.”

Dean put a hand on his chest mocking surprise.

“Well forgive me for not wanting my child to become a functioning alcoholic like the rest of us. What do you care anyway? You aren’t her boyfriend anymore!”

After that sentence left Dean’s mouth, he was slammed across the room. Gabriel was out of his seat and slowly approaching Dean with livid glowing eyes.

“You might be her father, however, I have no problem tearing you limb from limb over a comment like that.”

Jack, meanwhile, knew that this was the last thing that you needed to see when you came out of the bathroom. He stood and slowly put a hand on his uncle’s back.

“Gabriel, stop. Y/n won’t be happy seeing this either. You should go check on her.”

Gabriel’s eyes slowly returned to normal before he turned to face Jack. The kid was right. If he wanted to fix things between the two of you throwing Dean across the room was not the solution to his problems.

“I really am convinced that Y/n was raised by a pack of wolves. You are more like her brother then her father.”

Gabriel snapped in Dean’s direction before disappearing.

Meanwhile,

You stood in the bathroom, hovering over the sink. After being able to get up from the toilet, you weren’t sure if you would be able to move far.

“You okay?”

You couldn’t even look up at Gabriel. His voice wasn’t cold or angry. He sounded just like your normal Gabe.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

You said softly. Gabriel didn’t move from his place by the door. If you were in a fighting mood, he didn’t want to get punched.

“I can make you feel better if you want.”

“I’m fine.”

You snapped. Gabriel rolled his eyes. Here was that “Winchester charm” that he loved so much! Nothing about it was charming! You could be the most stubborn human that he had ever had the pleasure of knowing.

“We need to talk about what happened last night and not the part about you being drunk off of your ass.”

You opened your eyes to look at Gabriel through the bathroom mirror. The last thing that you really wanted to see was his “holier than thou” expression glaring at you. Thankfully, he stood looking at you with an expression of worry.

Good...the little shit should be worried!

You thought smugly.

“That isn’t nice.”

Gabriel muttered.

“Stop reading my mind without my permission.”

You hissed before turning to face the archangel. Gabriel held his hands up.

“That is the only option I have at the moment, thank you. You won’t even talk to me.”

Your mouth dropped.

“Well, if this isn’t the pot calling the kettle black! You want me to talk to you but you won’t talk to me about anything! Sorry but that isn’t how it works, Gabriel.”

“So you just want to throw away everything that we have because I didn’t want to talk about my less than glamorous days? I figured that you would just be happy that I wasn’t sleeping around now.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes.

“Well if that isn’t a comforting thought! Look, I am going hunting alone for a few weeks. When I get back I will let you know if you have a girlfriend or not.”

Gabriel was clearly not “thrilled” with this! His golden eyes narrowed on your face and for a moment you were worried.

“That isn’t fair! You want me to just sit here and wait for you to decide what you want? You want me to just sit here in this bunker and wonder if I have wasted the past year of my life.”

You shrugged.

“What is one year to you, anyway? You have had millions of years. You can consider it a little smudge on your record.”

Gabriel’s mouth dropped as he turned and walked from the room.

“Your unbelievable, kid.”

When it came time for you to leave, Gabriel was nowhere to be found. You waited for a moment to see if he popped out of nowhere to beg you to stay. He didn’t.

You turned your attention back to Dean. It didn’t take being Dean Winchester’s daughter to know that he didn’t like this idea. He didn’t like the thought of you hunting alone. Dean knew that you could do it but he didn’t want you to. When you turned down his invitation of Jack tagging along, Dean knew that you “needed” some time.

“I checked the oil in your car and you tire pressure. You should be good to go.”

He said as you threw your bag in the back of your SUV. You closed the hatchback and turned to Dean. He was worried. This was exactly what happened when your own mother died years before. She went on a hunting trip alone and never came home. You could see that same worry in Dean’s eyes now.

To the world, you were Dean’s “sister.” That relationship would stop the questions. Only a few people knew the truth of who you were. People would never believe that you were his daughter anyway.

“I’ll be fine, dad. I won’t be gone long.”

Dean reached out and pulled you into a bone-crushing hug.

“Just be careful. Don’t do anything stupid. If you get into any trouble, you know how to get a hold of Cas.”

You nodded.

“I know, dad.”

As you started to get in your SUV, Dean reached out and grabbed your hand.

“Whatever you decide, with Gabriel, I support you.”

You faked a smile. That was the best that you could come up with at the moment without bursting into tears. You had half expected Gabriel to appear in the passenger seat and not take “get out” as an answer. When he didn’t even show up to tell you goodbye, you wondered if this was his way of saying, “You are right. We shouldn’t be together.”

What you didn’t know, Gabriel was watching. He stood a few feet away keeping himself invisible. He was silently begging you not to go.

The next two weeks were the longest of your life. You were having fun doing some jobs on your own but your heart wasn’t in it like normal. You spent a vast majority of your time drinking in cheap bars. That seemed to be the solution to your problems...just like Dean.

You hadn’t spoken to Gabriel the whole time that you were away. He didn’t reach out once, which surprised you. Did he actually think that you didn’t want to talk to him? Maybe your “tough girl” front actually worked for once! The one time that you didn’t want your stellar attitude to not work it did.

“Good job, Y/n.”

You muttered before downing a shot of whiskey that was in front of you. The bar itself was a little hole in the wall joint that many people didn’t visit. You were thankful for this. The fewer people that may try to talk to you the better off things were!

“Y/n?”

You groaned hearing your name. Slowly turning, you froze seeing none other than Chuck in front of you. This was the last person that you ever expected to see in this shit hole.

“Chuck Shurley. What brings you to this neck of the woods? Wherever the hell we are that is…”

Chuck grinned.

“El Reno.”

You took another sip of your drink.

“Good ole Oklahoma! Great place to be!”

Chuck raised an eyebrow before sliding onto the barstool beside you. He looked over the empty shot glasses in front of you.

“Boy you have really drunk a lot.”

You held up the drink in your hand and toasted him.

“Stick around, pal. I am about to get plastered.”

Chuck winced.

“How about we go back to your hotel room and watch Twister or something”

You laughed.

“You know that movie has always got me! How many Bill Paxtons does it take to want to slam your head against a wall? God, there are some poorly ass written characters in that movie! All we see is couples arguing. Its like the Lifetime of disaster films.”

Chuck smiled.

“Yeah, I have to agree with you there too. So why are you here alone and drinking like a fish?”

You chuckled.

“Just got a lot on my mind.”

“Gabriel, perhaps?”

You almost spit your drink when Gabriel’s name left Chuck’s mouth. Sitting down your drink, you turned to face the man at your side. Chuck smiled.

“How do you know about Gabriel?”

Chuck waited for your slight drunken stupor to go away.

“I know everything.”

He replied with a smirk. You were silent for a moment as you contemplated what Chuck’s comment meant.

“What number am I thinking about?”

“Y/n, that isn’t nice...32.”

You scooted your bar stool back slightly.

“Lucky guess.”

Chuck sighed before snapping his fingers and left you totally sober.

“Chuck, what are you?”

You asked. Chuck smiled. He knew it was time to clue you in on what exactly he was. It was evident that Dean and Cas hadn’t told you. Chuck snapped his fingers again. This time he let you see JUST who he was. Your mouth dropped.

“Fuck...shit...crap…”

Chuck laughed.

“That’s the reaction that most people have as well.”

You sat quietly a few moments trying to take everything in that just happened. Chuck was God. He knew about Gabriel and yourself as a couple. Oh, hell that meant he knew exactly WHAT you had been doing with Gabriel!

“Yeah, I know about that too. It would be great if you would stop thinking about what you have done with my son.”

You looked up.

“Sorry but not sorry? Well, you don’t have to worry about it...we aren’t together right now anyhow.”

Chuck ordered you a glass of water and held it out to you innocently.

“Here have some water and count to ten. Everything with Gabriel will be just fine! That is actually why I am here…”

You held a hand up.

“No offense Chuck but I don’t really want any help in my fucked up relationship with an archangel.”

Chuck smiled.

“It isn’t fucked up. This is exactly how I planned it!”

You looked up with a disturbed expression.

“How you planned it? Wait, you planned this? Why in the world would you want this for your son? Are you some kind of sick in the head bastard or something?”

Chuck giggled at that.

“You sound just like your father. It's so amusing...almost like the cat blog that I run. Gabriel is the only archangel that I would have chosen this for. Michael is too bossy. The two of you would never get along. Raphael is well dead because of Castiel. Lucifer is Lucifer and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. That would leave Gabriel. He has the most capacity to care and love. My son is exactly how I want him to be...mostly...okay he can be when he wants to. Sometimes, he is a pain in the ass.”

“I guess I can agree with you there. Look, Chuck, God,...”

“Just Chuck.”

He replied with a bigger grin. You blinked a few times.

“...Okay ...Chuck...I don’t want Gabriel to be with me just because it's some creative scheme that you came up with for your Supernatural books. I want him with me because he wants to be.”

Chuck held a hand up again.

“He is! He wants to be with you! He loves you...very deeply. Yeah, the two of you fight like cats and dogs but I know that you both love each other. That is why I want you to have a nephilim.”

You dropped the glass of water that you were holding.

“Excuse me? Did you just say what I thought you said?!? What kind of sick in the head Dr. Frankenstein monster are you?”

Chuck sighed.

“I’m not sick in the head. This is a good idea.”

You stood up off of your bar stool and quietly pointed your finger at Chuck not saying anything for a few moments.

“1. I am not dying because you want to play grandpa! 2. Lucifer already beat you to the nephilim punch! Go play with Jack! He’s a lovely boy!”

This was the biggest bunch of bullshit that you had heard in a long time!

“You are making this harder than it should be, Y/n. Even Mary didn’t give us this much trouble.”

“Chuck this isn’t the second fucking coming! I swear, Chuck, all that you do is screw with our family! Why don’t you go screw with the Joneses for a change...give the Winchesters a break. We’ve earned it!”

You motioned the bartender over for another shot of whiskey. Chuck eyed the drink in your hand.

“I wouldn’t drink that.”

“And why the hell not? I think I earned a drink for not trying to punch you.”

Chuck was too innocent and giddy for his own good.

“You are already pregnant. Lucky for me that you and Gabriel have sex like bunnies.”

That was the last thing that you expected! You were pregnant?! How did you not realize it! Better yet...what were you going to tell your own father?

Chuck reached out and took your hand in his.

“I want to address your concerns. You are not going to die because I planned this. Lucifer creating a nephilim was not part of the divine plan. I do find it regrettable that Kelly Kline had to die. She seemed like a lovely woman. I agree with you, I am sure that Jack is a lovely kid but he doesn’t have the fight family lineage. You being a Winchester just makes all of this easier!”

You put your head down on the bar and tried to take everything in. This was more than your brain could handle at the moment. Looking back up, you frowned.

“Chuck, I have been drinking an insane amount of booze over the past week…”

Chuck silenced you.

“Lucky that the baby’s father is an archangel, huh? Gabriel’s grace kept the baby safe while you participated in less than ideal behavior.”

“Hey, you are the one that just showed up, pal.”

You looked down at your feet before laughing.

“So I don’t get an archangel to tell me the great news like Mary did? Seems kind of like a rip-off.”

Chuck put a hand over his face.

“I can go get Gabriel and have him tell you if you would like?”

It was your turn to laugh hard at that! Gabriel was going to freak the fuck out! There would be no calm archangel coming to tell you anything. Gabriel would be straight up ready to burn the world down!

“Chuck, you’re telling Gabriel and I am going to watch. You are also going to tell Sam and Dean. You better be ready to do some godly magic too.”

Chuck’s eager grin faded. Apparently, he was realizing that telling his hot-headed son and your family was going to be a rather “miserable” experience!

“So you are agreeing to all of this?”

You held your hands up in frustration.

“It seems like I don’t really have much of a choice! I’m already pregnant and I don’t think that there is no getting rid of the thing inside of me. I swear, Chuck if I die because of this I will be haunting your ass! I will follow you around and make the most obnoxious noises for the rest of eternity!”

Chuck held out his hand. You slowly reached out as he grabbed yours and shook it eagerly.

“You won’t die! You have my word. Now, I suppose we should get back to Kansas and tell Gabriel.”

You laughed bitterly and pulled your coat on.

“Better bring you a helmet.”

__________

@brokencasbutt67-writer

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#supernatural #Gabriel x Reader #Dean x Cas #Gabriel #Dean Winchester #sam winchester #cas #Gabriel SPN #supernatural reader insert #reader instert #Jack Kline #chuck shurley #Chuck causing problems #Destiel #Rocking the Boat #rocking the boat story

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doeeyeddarlingxo · 4 years

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Myriad Misadventures - Chapter 56

The Myriad Misadventures of a Midgardian Queen-In-Training - Chapter 56

AO3 | Previous | Next

Word Count: 1661

Pairing: Loki/Reader

Rating: T

A/N: i'm posting this from the train back to school (sad reaccs only), so i'm going to keep this brief so that i can post before my connection cuts out. but i love you all! it is snowing outside, but the reactions to this story have kept my heart so warm! keep the predictions coming, and expect the daily chapter update to continue from now until (eep!) the END of the story! ahhhhh

Taglist (brand new, so lmk if you want to be added!): @lokis-girl-in-mischief

Myriad Misadventures - Chapter 56

You hadn’t realized they’d filmed the kiss.

Wedged in between Irina and Rhea on the couch, with Rosa just a pillow’s breadth away from you, you realized that none of the others have ever been portrayed as having any kind of physical relationship with Loki. Irina and Rhea tastefully avoided such questions, while Rosa...she said things, but in a joking manner. Not to be taken seriously. You, they’d left alone - it seemed like you weren’t the only one who’d thought you’d had no shot. But the day after the segment airs, you’re still wondering:

Were you the first one he kissed at all? Or just the first he kissed on camera?

********************************************

You get almost a full day’s peace and quiet before the storm begins.

"You just can't get enough, can you?"

You recognize the voice, but don't bother looking up. "I don’t know what you’re talking about, Rosa."

A soft green gel-tipped nail appears in your peripheral vision, clutching a sheaf of shiny, colorful papers. "Right. So you totally haven’t seen these.”

“What?” You grab the magazines from her. “Where did you get these?”

She snorts, flopping onto the chair across from you. “We all have our little secrets, I guess.”

You flip through the top one eagerly. There they are - the results of the most recent poll.

WHO DO YOU THINK WILL WIN THE CROWN?

Lady Rhea - 39%

You laugh. Is this really what Rosa’s so upset about? “Are you surprised? You know they love her.” She rolls her eyes in response, and you keep reading.

Lady (Y/N) - 38%

“What?” A few pages later - your page - there are more comments, scattered around a screenshot of Loki cradling your face in his hand. You read:

~ Lady (Y/N) is on FIRE!

~ I squealed out loud watching that kiss - soooo romantic! I honestly wasn't expecting him to kiss (Y/N) first, but now I hope he doesn't kiss anyone else! I can't imagine any of the other girls connecting with him like that.

Of course, not everyone’s opinions of you are quite so positive.

~ Everyone's talking about Lady (Y/N)'s "chemistry" with King Loki. One has to wonder though, is she even old enough to have even completed a college chemistry course? Her level of maturity would suggest not. She's nineteen, people!

But your supporters always come through, defending you with a vengeance.

~ I see people mentioning age. Clearly, she’s more than mature enough to be able to speak up for herself.

~ I love how Lady (Y/N) can call him on his BS and he’ll take it because he knows she’s right. Come on, I can’t be the only one who thinks she’d be a great queen!

~ Lady (Y/N), though she does have her moments, is wise beyond her years. Wishing her the best in and out of the palace.

“You could have at least told us before we saw it on TV.”

You wrinkle your brow. “Since when have you given me any reasons to trust you?”

“I’m kind of with Rosa on this one.” It’s Irina, closing the door quietly behind her. “This feels...wrong. We shouldn’t be keeping secrets from each other. It’s like sabotage.”

“Thank you!”

“It’s her business, though.” You look up with a start—you’d almost forgotten Rhea was in the room. She walks over, settling on the couch besides Irina.

“Thanks.” You start fidgeting with your hands. “I didn’t realize they’d gotten it on camera, anyway.” Rhea raises an eyebrow. “What?” Suddenly, you feel under as though you’re under siege. “I swear to God, I didn’t!”

“Right.” Rosa sounds thoroughly unconvinced. “Well, don’t go thinking you’re so special or anything.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean that you aren’t the only one in it to win it.” She turns away with a “hmph” and a flip of her hair.

“Win what? Him? Or the crown?”

She glares at you. “Alright, Little Miss Holier-Than-Thou. What about you? Do you really think you’re the only girl he talks to? The only one he sees? Kisses? You’re a game to him. A stupid little girl that he can manipulate and play around with while he figures out who he’s really going to keep around.”

You shrug. “Say what you like, Rosa. All I know is that I didn’t see you up on that screen last night.”

She gapes at that, mouth hanging open like a codfish. “You - you know, I am so sick of your act.”

“My act?”

“Yes, your act! You pretend to be so innocent, sweet little (Y/N), ‘tee hee, look at me, I’m dumb enough to flip out on the king and lucky enough to get away with it!’ I’m telling you, he doesn’t care about you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“You haven’t seen - ”

“Girls,” Rhea interrupts, calm and regal as always. You and Rosa both shut up immediately. “Half of the girls we started out with aren’t here. The fact that we are makes the four of us special to begin with.” She keeps her voice low, though it carries in the quiet of the room. “Maybe we should stop fighting each other.”

Irina snorts. “Right, like that’s happening.”

“No, I’m serious. And here’s how we’ll start: we’ll go around and talk about our encounters with His Majesty.”

You and Rosa shoot each other one more glare before nodding. You feel the sting of tears as you sit back down (you hadn’t even noticed you’d stood up to begin with) - you hate being reprimanded. And some of what Rosa said hit home - what if he really doesn’t care? What if - you try to block out the image of him and Rosa, his fingers tangled in her hair, her legs around his waist as he kisses her against a wall. His lips on Irina’s, his hands circling her waist as he helps her dismount from one of her precious horses. Rhea doesn’t worry you, only because she seems far too conservative to allow such a thing to occur.

“What we speak of doesn’t have to be romantic or sexual in nature,” Rhea adds. “Anything. If you went on a date that wasn’t public knowledge. If you passed and spoke to him on the way to the stables. Things like that.”

“Oh. How far back is this going? I barely remember what I wore yesterday, forget what I said three years ago.”

Rosa rolls her eyes. “God, do you have to overthink everything?”

Irina stares daggers at her. “Okay, then. Show us how it’s done. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of stories to tell.”

“Fine.” She takes a deep breath, and your heart sinks...until she releases it in a sigh. “I can’t even think of a good lie. Nothing, okay? Absolutely nothing happened.”

You’re surprised to hear tears in her voice.

After an uncomfortable moment, she speaks again. “All right, I’ve humiliated myself enough. You go, Irina.”

Irina shrugs, shaking her head. Then she hesitates, opening her mouth as though to confess something. “Actually, I’m going home today.”

“What?”

She nods. “I wanted to tell you all. In person.” Another shrug. “But nothing happened before then, anyway.

None of you know what to say.

Until, like ripping a Band-Aid off a wound, Rosa switches her attention back to you. “How the hell did you manage it, then?”

“Me?”

She rolls her eyes again. “Well, apparently you’re the only one who’s kissed him.”

“I don’t know. What, do you want a rundown on everything he’s said to me since...I don’t know, however long?” All three of them nod. “Okay. We danced at the first ball we ever went to, the masquerade. Remember?” They nod. “We always ran into each other in the hallway after that. I don’t know. Oh, and then...well, there was the attack on the castle.” The quiet turns somber as you remember that day. The panic. Lexi. “Anyway. We ended up hiding out together. We’ve been...friends, I guess, ever since.”

“Friends?” Irina repeats incredulously.

“And, to make a long story short, he kissed me after dinner last Saturday. And I might have yelled at him?”

“You yelled at him for kissing you?”

“...I mean, it was a little more complicated than that. Anyway, the next day he, um, invited me to dinner, and we argued again about that. During dinner he made a comment that struck a nerve. Like, on purpose, though. So I kind of went off on him for that.” You shrug. “But, um, you guys already know that part.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Rosa holds up a hand to stop you. “So he kissed you twice? I can’t...You didn’t even want to be here!”

“I don’t exactly get to leave whenever I want!”

“Aw, (Y/N) doesn’t get her way for once. Boo freaking hoo.”

“I had a life before this!” Tears are pooling in the corners of your eyes, but the anger you feel is eating you up from the inside out and you can’t hold it in anymore. “My friends are out there worrying about final exams and spring fling plans, and I’m here. I guess I shouldn’t be complaining, though - I get to deal with court etiquette and alien attacks and everything else that’s been thrown at us. So yes, Rosa, I miss my life, and if I could have left three years ago, I would have.” You need to pause for a few moments just to compose yourself. “But that’s changed. I’m not leaving. You’re not going to just get rid of me.”

“Why?” She sticks out her lower lip in an exaggerated pout. “Because you love him?”

“Yes.” You look her dead in the eyes. “Is that what you wanted to hear?”

For once, she doesn’t respond.

You pick up your book. “I’ll see you ladies tonight at dinner.” As you begin walking out, you hear her call out after you, but you ignore it, the blood still rushing in your ears.

#loki #loki x reader #loki/reader #reader insert #reader-insert #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #doeeyeddarling #myriad misadventures #fish fork

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technoplaguearchive · 5 years

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Cruel To Be Kind (2/4)

Midoriya just wants to be a hero, Bakugou's hero, but Bakugou isn't having any of it.

Pairing: MidoriyaxBakugou / BakuDeku Rating: Teen & Up Category: M/M Fandom: My Hero Academia | Boku No Hero Academia Originally Published: 2019/04/06 on AO3 Chapter: 2 of 4

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Midoriya Izuku could not be described as particularly imposing or tall. He was a little shorter than other men his age and he looked, for all intents and purposes, like a changeling child; all wide eyes, freckles, and innocence.

Bakugou was starting to believe in the changeling child theory a little more at this instant, seeing the usually cherubic face twisted with disappointment and grim determination. That green energy that sizzled over his body when he fought seemed to be harnessed wholly in Midoriya’s eyes, eyes that were slowly burning a hole in Bakugou’s face. He could feel the disappointment radiating off that small frame.

He didn’t need to deal with this shit. He didn’t need Deku’s holier than thou attitude tonight, especially not after the day he’d had. A day that had just pushed him more to come out when he couldn’t stand being alone in his house with his own thoughts. All day he had heard about how Deku would have handled the situation better and he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t need a reminder of the pretty perfect boy’s utterly perfect way of dealing with everything in life. He didn’t need to see that heartbroken look crossing his face when he realized Bakugou wasn’t backing down. And wasn’t that just dumb because all their history together should have taught Midoriya that Bakugou didn’t cave to anyone, let alone a nerd like him.

“Move, nerd.” He shoulders roughly past Midoriya and tries to blend back in with the crowd by the bar. Close to the door, easy to get away after he took this shot. Speaking of... he tosses it back with a throw of his head and leans into the wall behind him. Deku, annoyingly, is still attached to him and watching him with impossibly huge green eyes. What the fuck was with this guy’s eyes? Who could possibly express so much with just their eyes? In all their years together, it had been one of the things that had bothered him; those eyes were fucking unnerving. “The fuck you following me for, Deku,” he growls out when the shorter man doesn’t stop his staring.

At the mention of the hero’s name a few heads swivel in their direction and Midoriya’s cheeks turn a wonderful shade of pink, making the freckles stand out more. Bakugou can’t help staring at those little perfect dots. Everything about the nerd was perfect- and wasn’t that just stupidly fucking infuriating? He watches as the hero’s scarred hands cover his face, trying to hide himself from people now starting to pull out their phones. The girl closest to him has hers out the quickest and already has it pointed at them by the time he snarls in her direction and swipes it from her. “Your mother ever tell you it’s fucking rude to video someone in a private setting?” The girls face pales as he leans across her to drop the device into her purse and he smirks at the reaction. Good, let them be afraid. Midoriya, when he finally looks back to see if the idiot was still cowering, looks aghast at the entire situation and is still standing there like he must babysit Bakugou to make sure he behaves. Gross.

“Ka-Kacchan?”

Ugh, here it comes.

This time Midoriya tugs on his wrist as he says his name. Bakugou rips his hand away, more forcefully than needed truth be told, and stares down into the face that haunts him. “Kacchan, maybe you should calm down. I- I can take you home?” He looks so endearing and honest as he says it, making Bakugou’s stomach twist. “I know I just got here but I really don’t mind if you need a ride home because you seem awfully drunk and this really isn’t like you. Should you really be out right now? Do you have to work tomorrow? Oh! I guess if you did then you wouldn’t-“

Bakugou slaps a hand over his mouth and leans in close to growl, “I wouldn’t fucking be here if I had to work, nerd, so stop your mumbling. It’s annoying and you’re drawing extra attention.”

Midoriya’s eyes skate side to side to see if anyone was paying attention. They were not, meaning Bakugou was just being a bully again to cover his feelings. Gently, Midoriya pries the blonde’s hand from his mouth and holds it between his scarred ones. They weren’t necessarily rivals anymore, not like how they were before at least, but this is still too much for Bakugou to take so he pulls his hand away to stuff it in his pocket.

“Kacchan, please let me take you home. You’re not acting like yourself and I don’t think the public needs to see a top hero acting like this. It might hurt your rating.” Midoriya’s words are full of concern that Bakugou doesn’t want to hear. He didn’t need this stupid talk, he’s given it to himself at least a hundred times over the last six months and he ignores it each time too. The green haired doofus is still talking when Bakugou tunes back into his rant. “I didn’t think you’d ever start drinking like this. How long has this been going on? It doesn’t seem like it’s for fun. Kirishima said that you’ve been doing this a lot more recently but at home. I’m glad that at least you’re staying home for it, no one can get video of you if you’re not out-“

Bakugou tunes him out again. Once Deku got on a rant there was no stopping him until he reached a conclusion or wore himself out. He focuses instead on starting to count the freckles on the green haired man’s face, realizing after the fifth one that he was staring at the same freckle because they were all starting to blur. Fuck, okay, so the alcohol was catching up. The glass in his hand finds its way to the small ledge on the wall- shit that would hurt if someone ran into it, that couldn’t be safe- and he leans forward into Deku’s space to tower over him and maybe intimidate him into shutting the hell up.

The effect, to his dismay, is quite the opposite.

Midoriya’s eyes squint up at him beneath green lashes and he stares up into Bakugou’s face and Bakugou had to wonder what Midoriya was seeing right now that would make him utter the next stupid sentence of, “You drink like a fish dying for water.”

Okay, that was out of left field and possibly the stupidest thing he’d ever heard come from Midoriya's mouth, but the response from the blonde is immediate and just as dumb. “Then I’m a fucking fish,” he gives the other man a smile that’s all teeth & malice, “glub glub, motherfucker.”

Satisfaction.

Midoriya’s face contorts into confusion for several seconds as he processes the ridiculous phrase. However he opens his mouth again and ruins it all once more. “Let’s get you home, Bakugou. You’re obviously not feeling well,” he says as he reaches for Bakugou’s arm.

Drunk or not, years of training has honed Bakugou’s instincts to be razor sharp and he twists away, knocking back into the previously mentioned ledge and sending his glass tumbling. Midoriya is quick with his own reflexes and catches it several inches before it hits the floor, green energy crackling and dissipating as quickly as it came. Bakugou is impressed and can tell Midoriya notices when he looks back up at him. Seeing the small smile tug at the green haired man’s lips is enough to reign Bakugou’s interest in and he schools his features quickly into annoyance. His arm throbs with pain and he knows it’s going to bruise tomorrow, if not tonight. It certainly wouldn't be the worst injury every for him, just the dumbest.

Midoriya turns to leave and Bakugou isn't sure if he's relieved or not at seeing the man’s back to him. The indecision is short lived when he watches him push through the crowd to deposit the glass at the bar and then turn back. By the time that passive face graces his vision once more he's decided he's going to err on the side of relieved that he was leaving but now just annoyed that he came back.

Slowly, like reaching out to a wounded animal, Midoriya places a hand near the sore spot on Bakugou’s arm, testing for a reaction. That scarred hand slides down to cover the sore spot and Bakugou hisses a breath in between clenched teeth. He's torn between ecstasy at being touched and pain at feeling coddled. They stay that way for several long seconds; Midoriya’s hand gently covering his injury and Bakugou staring down at it like he's never seen it before.

In the end, his pride wins out when he sees a flash of pink and red in the corner of his eye. Looks like the rest of the group came to find them... Or more likely to find Deku so they could fawn over him some more.

The thought is like an electric current jolting through his body, a feeling like being hit by one of Kaminari’s stray blasts ricocheting from the place where Midoriya is touching him to his brain and back again. It's enough to bring him to his senses and cause him to pull away from Midoriya’s scorching touch. Just in time, too, as Ashido and Kirishima spot them and make a beeline towards them, their looks equal parts pitying and relieved.

Kirishima claps Bakugou on the shoulder and hauls him into a bone-crushing hug. ”Oh man, I’m so glad we found you guys!” The tall redhead pulls back to look into his friend’s face and asks the loaded question, ”You guys okay?”

Bakugou opens his mouth to snap out ”Of course I am” but is beaten to the chase by Midoriya, who gives the exact opposite answer; ”I think Bakugou drank a little too much, I was offering to take him home. He still lives in the same apartment right?”

Were they really fucking talking like he wasn't standing right there? Did he suddenly become invisible in the last five seconds?! He's about to snap at them when Kirishima nods to Midoriya’s question. ”Yeah, the big flat by that bombass ramen place and with that knock-off coffee chain I can’t remember the name of.”

Ashido pats Kirishima’s shoulder consolingly. “You can’t remember it because you drank a lot of rainbows tonight, honey.”

“Oh, yeah that sounds right,” Kirishima chirps with a bright grin.

How was the idiot so happy that he couldn’t remember the name of the coffee chain? - Actually, Bakugou can’t remember it either right now. Shit.

Midoriya’s hand wraps back around Bakugou’s arm while he’s distracted and he gives him a slight tug, pulling the unsuspecting blonde slightly off balance and into him. Midoriya seems slightly surprised by this, if his face is any indication, while Kirishima and Ashido look positively delighted. Midoriya lets out a little awkward laugh. “I’ll get Kacchan home then. You guys have a good night,” he offers with a wave as he starts trying to tug Bakugou along behind him. Shocked at the brazenness of the green haired shortie, Bakugou lets himself be tugged along for all of five steps before he shakes free and stumbles back into Kirishima, who thankfully catches him under the arms and releases him quickly. Midoriya’s face is sullen when he turns back to see where his ward had disappeared to. Bakugou swears he catches a flash of pain when Midoriya sees Kirishima helping him but it's gone as quick as it came, leaving the blonde sure he was just imagining it.

”I don't need you to take me home, ” he growls. To his own ears, the words are a little loose around the edges; a sure sign he was verging on needing to be done with drinking. When Midoriya reaches back out to him he slaps the hand away with a pop of sparks, feeling only mildly regretful when he sees the shock register on the green haired man’s face. He can’t recall ever rejecting Midoriya so violently after their reconciliation.

“Kacchan, please-”

“Quit with your fucking hero complex, Deku. I don’t need saving. I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity!”

The outburst seems to take even Midoriya by surprise and he claps his hands over his mouth. The sight would have made Bakugou laugh if he wasn’t so aggravated by the idiot’s need to protect him, as it stands he just wants to punch a hole in the nearest wall.

Kirishima, loveable idiot that he is, moves quickly between the pair with a large, yet forced, grin. “Come on guys, let’s just grab another drink and go back upstairs and hang out,” he turns to face the small green haired man beside him and gazes at him imploringly, “What do you say, Midoriya? I know you just got here, I’d hate to see you leave already.” Kirishima turns on the big sad eyes and Bakugou is glad he can only see the side of the idiot’s face. He knew that look well enough to know prolonged exposure almost guaranteed the receiver would do anything Kirishima asked. Deku, being the pushover that he was, would probably cave soon.

So it comes as a surprise to Bakugou when the nerd looks around Kirishima to pin him in place with a squinty-eyed stare. He could see that power in his eyes again, solely focused on him and determined. Bakugou feels a small shudder roll up his spine but swallows it down before it can overtake him. He knew the power that Deku possessed, knew if he wanted it to this would get ugly quick. Something feral in his mind snaps at that and Bakugou smirks, letting it overtake his face. Fine, if the nerd wanted to play then they’d play.

“Yeah Deku, you just got here,” he sing-songs smugly, “go hang out with everyone. I don’t need a babysitter, I’m a big boy.” Somewhere to his left he hears Ashido’s curse of “Oh fucking hell boys” then Kirishima is grabbing Bakugou around the waist to keep him away from Midoriya. He wasn’t even aware he’d moved towards him.

Midoriya nods to Kirishima who releases Bakugou and backs off. Some silent signal of ‘I got this’, which was just aggravating since when were they close enough to read each other? That feral beast in Bakugou’s head rises again, not liking that Kirishima was buddying up- no, no it didn’t like that Midoriya was getting close to Kirishima.

“I’m fucking out of here,” he snarls as he turns to exit their small group. It’s a fucking wonder they hadn’t drawn more of a crowd, as it is the people immediately surrounding their group trip over themselves to move away from him.

He sidles up to the bar again and, spotting a few drinks sitting there, grabs a shot and downs it. Fuck whoever it belonged to, he needed it more. The blue haired boy next to him gapes in disbelief and Bakugou tosses him a sneer for the trouble. A scarred hand wraps around his arm in a vice-grip from behind and starts hauling him back through the crowd, towards the exit of the club that he knew deposited into a shitty grimy alleyway. He didn’t really want to think right now about how he knew that alley was there or how gross it is, he just knew that was the only way out that direction. Which was baffling; wasn’t it making more of a scene to drag him through this crowd?

When the door closes behind them with a small yet ominous click, Midoriya throws Bakugou across the alley so they’re face-to-face. He can still hear the click of the door in his mind, the note of finality in it. So it was gonna be a fight, was it? Good, he could use a fight.

He steps forward towards the other man only to stop when he speaks. “I don’t want to fight you, Kacchan. You’re not even walking straight.” Bakugou scoffs at this and stumbles back into the wall behind him. “See,” Midoriya yells, “you can’t do anything right now without help. Just let me take you home.” He takes a tentative step towards Bakugou and reaches out, only to let his hand drop back down. “Please, Katsuki,” he whispers pleadingly.

That voice is his undoing in this moment. How dare Midoriya think him incapable! Did the nerd think he was better than him? Did he think he couldn’t take care of himself? He didn’t need saving, he wasn’t some helpless fucking idiot. And he was going to prove it.

Bakugou snarls and steps towards the green haired man before him, reaching out and steadying himself on his shoulder. He leans in close so they’re almost face to face and whispers with a growl, “Listen here, you little shit-“

Midoriya rears back and shoves Bakugou off of him. “No! You listen!” There’s desperation on his face, causing Bakugou to be stunned into silence. “You’re not fine! Why won’t you let me take you home? I thought we were past this, Kacchan.” Midoriya looks away now, ashamed, as if he’s said too much. His cheeks are stained a pretty pink that draws Bakugou’s eye. He bet they felt as warm as they looked... Nope, not the issue right now. He had to remember he was mad at Deku.

The nerd is still talking, rambling now about their past and how he thinks Bakugou can do better than this and what’s wrong because this isn’t like him- What the fuck did Deku know anyways? He didn’t know what kind of stress Bakugou was under!

Finally his last tether to staying any semblance of calm in this moment snaps and he lashes out with a poorly aimed explosion towards Midoriya, who sidesteps it easy and grabs Bakugou by the arm to sling him back into a wall. Bakugou is stunned momentarily before he regains his senses and turns to lash out again but Midoriya beats him to the punch, grabbing Bakugou’s fist and pushing him back again. This time he follows him back into the wall and holds the angry blonde in place with a forearm to the chest, faces close together. Bakugou takes the time to study the stern set to the green haired man’s brow, the way the space between his brows crinkled together and folded a freckle in half, the way his eyes looked sad even when they were angry-

“Kacchan you’re not even listening to me.” He presses his arm into his chest a little firmer for emphasis and sighs. “Why won’t you let me help you? We’re friends,” he trails off sadly and looks away aimlessly down the alley, “I thought we were finally friends.”

“Tch.”

Midoriya’s head snaps back at the signature noise.

“I’m not your charity case, Deku. Don’t know how many times I have to tell you that.”

That spark lights back up in the other man’s eyes and Bakugou can feel the deranged grin straining his face. He loved it when the nerd was ready to fight, it was better than that pathetic pitying look he usually wore. Maybe he could just push him over the edge and get this itch out of his system...

“I’m not some fragile little doll you need to protect like all your other friends,” later he’d realize he had confirmed they were friends, but not right now, “I don’t need fucking Deku to swoop in and save me. You’ve been doing this shit all our lives and I don’t fucking need your help. I don’t need anyone’s fucking help.”

He can see that fire snap and crackle in Midoriya’s eyes and the grin threatens to break his face now. Fucking finally.

Midoriya shoves against Bakugou before releasing him and jumping back in a crackle of green lightning, the energy dissipating as soon as he lands. Bakugou, meanwhile, can feel the sparks in his palms. He wanted to blow something up, to show he didn’t need anyone’s help. He didn’t need the pity. Midoriya has other plans though.

”Stop being like this!” The outburst startles Bakugou into letting the explosions building in him to die down and he straightens. Midoriya isn't done yet. ”Stop acting like you're on your own when you're not! You have friends, let us help you. We care about you, you idiot!” Bakugou can see the nerd sniffling now, tears pooling in the corners of his bright eyes. ”I care about you” he whispers, the quiet of the alley letting the words carry and caress Bakugou’s ears.

The look on the blonde’s face is one of shock and confusion which causes a derisive chuckle to slip from Midoriya. “Of course you don’t get it. You don’t think of anyone but yourself.” When Bakugou opens his mouth to refute this statement Midoriya holds a hand up to stop him. “You’re cold and unfeeling and blind, Kacchan. I’ve known this for awhile now and I’ve accepted it. We all have.”

Bakugou can feel the wetness building in his eyes and it agitates him, spiraling him into a frustrated rage. He wasn’t crying! He wouldn’t cry! Fuck this nerd! What did Midoriya know anyways?

“What is that supposed to mean, Deku?”

“Kirishima’s been in love with you since high school and you just let him keep acting like that-“

“Kirishima knows the score. You think it didn’t come up after all this time? You think I’d just let my best friend play the fool? Do you really think that low of me?” He doesn’t want to admit it but if Midoriya really did think so little of him, he didn’t know what he’d do. He’d spent so long trying to prove himself better than everyone only for Midoriya to shrink him right back down to the level of that scared kid who didn’t think he’d ever be good enough. “Well you know what? Fuck you! I’m not as fucking heartless as you make me out to be! You and everyone else think they know me and you don’t!”

Midoriya just looks exhausted now, the fight having seemingly drained out of him at seeing Bakugou so desperate and worked up. “We do know you. I know you, you big idiot. I’ve known you my whole life. Who else would know you better?,” he rubs his hands over his face and throws his arms wide, “You play like you don’t need anyone but you do, Kacchan! You more than anyone, needs someone, so just let me help! Let me just take you home. I don’t know why you’re getting so defensive about this.” His arms drop to his sides as he lets out a long-suffering sigh.

Bakugou’s temper snaps again, a chord pulled too tight and on the verge of breaking altogether. “Because you and every other fucking wannabe treat me with kid gloves!” He stalks towards Midoriya on the opposite side of the alley and pushes into him until the smaller man’s back hits the wall. “In case you haven’t noticed, Deku,” he sneers, “I’m not a little kid. I’m not some fragile little boy that needs a hero.”

Their faces are close now, too close almost, but close enough for Bakugou to feel Midoriya’s panting little breaths hit his chin and see his own reflection in his eyes. When he reaches up to place his hands on either side to cage the smaller man in, he can hear the soft little half-gasp that slips past his lips and he represses a shudder at it. God, this was too good of a look on him…

Midoriya swallows thickly and Bakugou unconsciously tracks the movement with a predatory gaze, red eyes burning with barely controlled anger and something he didn’t like to admit out loud. It’s the unnamed part that is his downfall, however, as Midoriya takes full use of the distraction to punch Bakugou hard in the stomach and send him backwards enough to put distance between them. When Bakugou finally gets control of himself several seconds later Midoriya is staring him down in determination.

“I know you’re not a little kid anymore. I’ve known that for awhile now. You’re strong and confident in ways you didn’t used to be.” He lowers his fist and stands up straight to stare Bakugou in the eyes. “I wouldn’t love you so much if you were that same kid.”

There’s a static hum starting back up in his ears, similar to when he’d seen Midoriya show up on that balcony, except there’s nowhere to fall back into and no Kirishima to hold onto to ground him. So he falls backwards until he hits the wall behind him, fingers gripping into the old brick as if that would be enough to ground him and quiet the insistent fucking buzzing in his head.

No. No no no no. Fucking no.

Midoriya did not just say what he thinks he did, did he? He couldn’t have. This has to be something he’s hearing from all the alcohol. He just imagining this shit and hearing what he wants to hear. His drunk ass brain is conjuring shit up because there is no way Izuku Midoriya just casually tossed out that he loved Bakugou. And if he did, he had to have meant it in some different way-

“Why else do you think I care so much what happens to you, Kacchan? Why else would I deal with your shitty attitude all the time and defend you to the public?”

Oh fuck had he been muttering out loud? Shit, he was around the nerd too much if he had picked up on that habit. Fuck his drunken ass brain he didn’t need this shit right now. Although it might have been only natural, they did grow up together and certain things were bound to rub off on each other. But no, none of that nonsense right now, he needed to address Deku’s completely idiotic ass statement.

“No one asked you to defend me, you stupid nerd. I didn’t ask you to care, either.”

Midoriya barks out a laugh then snaps his mouth closed quickly, as if he hadn’t meant for that to be out loud. When he lowers his hands there’s a sad putting smile on his face that raises Bakugou’s hackles.

“No one had to ask me. That’s not how love works. I just…. love you anyways.” He takes a tentative step towards the blonde then stops when Bakugou backs against the wall with a snarl. “Can you please let me take you home now so you can sleep this off and forget it all happened?”

What kind of shit was that? Who gives a fucked up love confession then tries to act like it didn’t happen? Did Midoriya not want to love him? Well screw that. If Bakugou had to be in love with this nerd for the past five years then he had to suffer too! And this was hands down the worst confession ever. This was not how he ever anticipated any of this going down. He had a plan, dammit! He was going to show up to Midoriya’s house with flowers and that stupid candy he liked and there was a speech he needed to work out and and- NO!

“Fuck your confession, nerd. No you can’t take me home and fuck you for trying to treat me like an invalid.” With one last growl he shoves off the wall and towards the door to go back inside.

“Where are you going,” Midoriya cries out, voice high with desperation.

“Back inside. I need another fucking drink.” He casts a scathing look over his shoulder. “Don’t fucking follow me.”

Bakugou can feel Midoriya’s eyes on him as he drags himself back into the bar, adrenaline drained and leaving him tired and foggy. Another drink would fix this. Or maybe a few more. However many it took to forget this entire fucking night had happened.

#bakudeku #bakugou x midoriya #midoriya x bakugo #my hero academia #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction

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sirenarhall-archive · 5 years

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SIRENA RENEE HALL: A LOOK INTO HIGH SCHOOL

Trigger warnings: drugs/drug abuse, alcohol/alcohol abuse, death mentions, violence, blood, injury.

People say that high school can be the best four years of your life. For Sirena, they were far from it. She was an outcast. She was the druggie, the drunk, the girl with the anger problems, the girl with a dead mother and a father in prison. Hurricane Sirena is what people called her, and it was fitting. After a stint in rehab at 16 though, high school became an entirely new experience for her. She had to try and adapt to a new school and sobriety, neither of which were a walk in the park.

AGE: 14

Sirena walked through the hallway, her head down, her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her leather jacket. The toes of her boots were scuffed, and her jeans were full of rips from the top of the thighs, down to her knees. Glancing up just enough to see what was ahead of her, Sirena continued her way toward her locker. She didn’t give a shit about getting to class on time. All she wanted was a little pick me up before being stuck in a room for an hour with a pile of kids who couldn’t stand her, and vice versa. People around her shuffled their way to their next class. There was only a few minutes before the bell was set to ring.

She got to her locker and tugged out the water bottle inside. Taking a long swig of it, she could feel the familiar burn as the vodka went down her throat. Whether her teachers were too dumb to know she had alcohol at school, or they just didn’t care, Sirena didn’t know. If anything, she was thankful that they weren’t saying anything. She wasn’t sure she’d make it through the day otherwise.

The bell rang, and she knew she was late. In her eyes, she was already late, so what was the point in going at all? Sirena grabbed her bag from her locker and slung it over her shoulder. Gripping the strap with one hand, she slammed the locker door shut with the other. Making her way back down the hall so she could get to the exit, she was crashed into by another student. She watched his things fall to the ground, and she watched him move to pick them up.

He didn’t say anything to her, and Sirena shook her head. “Are you fucking kidding me?” she hissed. He looked up at her and rolled his eyes. “Relax, it was an accident,” he stated. “But you are cute when you’re angry.” He stood up with his books in his hands. Sirena immediately shoved him against the wall once he was on his feet, pinning him there with her arms. She was unbelievably strong, despite her size. “Wanna try again?” she asked. “Cool it, bitch,” he snapped. “For a freshman, you sure think you’re tough shit. Now move, I need to get to class.”

After his words, Sirena saw red, in more ways than one. The anger inside of her was at a high, and she felt like she was going to explode. In a way, she did. The rest of the red she saw was that which trickled down his face from his nose after she punched him. Stepping back, Sirena licked her lips, and smacked his books back onto the ground. “Fine,” she said, beginning to walk away. “Go run along to class.”

AGE: 15

One punch. Two punches. A hard kick to the shin. The way the girl she was fighting spoke about Sirena was enough to send her spiraling. Sirena hated this girl. She was snotty, she had a holier-than-thou attitude about her at all times. She had a huge group of friends; she was one of those people that others would blindly follow and go along with because she was pretty and people thought she held all of the power.

Hearing the girl call her a junkie was one thing, but when she took it to the next level by saying “you know, I heard that her daddy is in prison and her mom is dead. No wonder she’s so fucked up,” was too much. Of course those two things in her life were fucking her up, but that wasn’t this chick’s business. She didn’t even know how she knew, because she never said anything. She figured it must have been one of her cousins. She wouldn’t put it past Lucinda or Xavier to talk about her.

That was the start of Sirena pounding on the girl. A few more hits and Sirena had her on the ground. She was not playing around. She didn’t care about the consequences. She’d been suspended before, it was nothing new. She could take one more if it meant teaching a lesson about butting your nose in where it doesn’t belong. Sirena’s knuckles were bloodied and bruised, much like the face of the girl she was straddling as she hit. Sirena had claw marks on her cheek from the girl trying to fight back that were starting to bleed, but she could easily ignore it.

Given the size of the crowd surrounding them, it was no surprise that it only took a few minutes before two teachers were prying Sirena off of the other girl. It was a surprise to her aunt and uncle, however, hearing that instead of another suspension, Sirena wasn’t allowed back. She was expelled. Sirena didn’t care. The entire car ride home, she tuned the adults out completely. “Are you even listening?” Sirena nodded. “It’s not like I’ve got anything else to listen to,” she retorted. But she was too high to absorb any of what they were saying to her.

AGE: 16

The bass of the music thudded through the house, and through Sirena’s body as she began tugging her clothes back on. She didn’t know his name. She had no idea who he was, but it didn’t matter. Fucking at a party was fucking at a party; it didn’t mean anything. He wasn’t even her first that night. The girl she was with a few hours before was pretty good too, not that she knew who she was either.

Her family didn’t know where she was. Family. It was a term she had always chosen to use very loosely. By blood, and legally, yes. They were her family. But she hardly considered them as her family. They were some of the most judgmental people she had ever met. She didn’t want them as her family.

When she got home, she shimmied up the tree next to her window and slipped inside. Closing the window, she heard the sound of a throat clearing. She turned to see her aunt standing there with several empty bottles of vodka in her arms, and an angry expression on her face.

“What the hell is this?” Joanne asked. Sirena was furious. “Get the fuck out of my room,” the young girl snapped. “Why did I find a giant stash of liquor bottles in your closet?” Joanne took a few steps closer. “What the hell were you doing going through my shit?” Sirena asked. Joanne pointed to the pile of clothing on hangers on her bed. “I was going to put those away for you when I found these instead.”

Sirena rolled her eyes, tapping her foot impatiently as her aunt continued to go off on her about the alcohol. She was irritated, feeling a little twitchy. Her high was gone, and she was feeling it. The plan had been to use once she got in, but this was altering that plan for sure.

“Is this it?” Joanne asked. “Or are you using too? Just like your parents.” Sirena shook her head. “I’m not using,” she lied through her teeth. “It was just the booze. But I’m fine, I swear. It’s old, it not recent. Now can you please, just get the fuck out of here? I’m tired, I have a headache, and I need to sleep. It’s late.” It was late. It was almost four in the morning, but here they were. Clearly Joanne had been dead set on interrogating her. “Sirena,” Joanne warned. “What the hell do you want from me? I told you I’m not using, what more do you need?” Sirena hissed. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Fine,” Joanne said, dragging a finger along Sirena’s desk. She could feel something under her fingertip, and pulling her hand up, she could see very faint white powdery substance on her skin.

Joanne walked out after that. But within a few days time, Sirena was being taken to a rehab facility.

AGE: 17

Sobriety? Not an easy task. Even with therapy, every part of Sirena craved a high, or a drink. It was enough to make her skin crawl School was not going well. She was at a new school, but rumors spread. All it took was one person from her old school knowing someone from this new one for word to get out that Sirena was more than she appeared. Her days were spent with her head down low, barely speaking to anybody. She was used to not having friends. She was never good at friends, but she had hoped that making them while sober could be easier. She was wrong.

The loneliness she felt didn’t help with the cravings. All she had keeping her busy was school work, and that wasn’t fun. She was smart, but she didn’t like only having school to focus on.

She sat down at the piano one evening after she’d finished her biology homework. She didn’t know how to play anything other than Hot Cross Buns. She put her fingers on the keys, but she didn’t press down. She didn’t know how to play, not really. She decided against trying to play, about to stand up when Lucinda sat down next to her. Sirena never had a good relationship with her cousins, but when the older girl started trying to show her how to play, Sirena couldn’t help feeling grateful.

The feelings of gratitude only grew in the coming weeks when Trevor began trying to teach her to play the guitar, even going as far as to get her one of her own. She had an outlet, and it was something that she found great joy in. Sirena had always loved music, but when she was little, they couldn’t afford any instruments, and her parents were too high all the time to care that she wanted to have that hobby. And then when she was older, she was too high all the time to even think about wanting to do something other than drink or do the drugs.

At school, Sirena would sit outside during lunches with her guitar. She’d find a spot under a tree and start to play, she did it every single day. She was constantly trying to better her skills, and she picked it up faster than anyone expected. Sirena could listen to a song and figure the chords out by ear. People would walk by her while she played and would actually listen. People started being interested in what she was doing rather than just being interested in her rough past. It got increasingly easier for Sirena to exist without using drugs or alcohol as the months passed by. She started making acquaintances with other musicians within the school, and she had ways to keep her mind occupied.

AGE: 18

“What’s your plan once you graduate?”

Sirena rolled her eyes, shoving her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. “We’ve been over this,” she stated. Sirena knew what her plan was, it wasn’t her fault that nobody else saw it as realistic.

“You need a real plan,” she school’s guidance counselor stated. “Your classmates have been applying to college and university. It’s not realistic to rely on your band. The chances of making it in the music industry are slim. It’s better to have a real career lined up.”

She had heard this lecture before. All of the adults in her life seemed to be saying the same thing. She and the guys had been playing together for over a year, making their own music, playing small gigs here and there. They were solid. She knew that it was going to be a long road ahead if they wanted to make it big, but she believed that they could.

“Aren’t you people supposed to be all ‘follow your dreams’ and shit? What happened to that?” Sirena stood up. She wasn’t going to sit there and be told that she wasn’t being reasonable. As she went to walk away, she felt the older woman’s hand around her wrist, and the blonde shot her a glare. “Sirena, you need to consider that this path might not work out. You need a backup plan.”

Sirena jerked her hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me,” she snapped, before walking out of her office.

When she graduated a few months later, she had made honour role. Sirena had turned her life around for the better, and she was actually proud when she walked across the stage in her cap and gown, with her ripped jeans, leather boots, and Iron Maiden t-shirt underneath to get her diploma. And she didn’t have a plan other than working at the diner and playing music, but she was determined to make a name for herself.

#wilmingtontask #wilmingtoninspo #wilmingtontask06 #drugs tw #alcohol tw #violence tw #injury tw #blood tw #death tw #buckle up friends bc she was a disaster #also i ended up doing this task as a bunch of flashback self paras so... there's that #{ about }

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coreshorts · 7 years

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Attrition

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Emotion was always a troubling subject. For a woman who often felt little more than vague notions of anxiety, of fear, or bits of contentment on occasion, strong emotion, strong feelings toward anyone or anything were difficult to process for more than a fleeting moment. She avoided them, wilfully dissociated when she could, not only to protect herself, but because to be numb was to be comfortable. It was logic, reason, pure and unadulterated, untainted by her fears, concerns, or anything that might cause her grief. Anything too much more than that would always turn her mind inside-out. She would shut down, unable to process anything. Her world became hellish and chaotic when she couldn’t hold onto that cold reason.

The previous nights were swirling vortexes of emotion that threatened to drag Hali down into that chaos again. Try as she might, though, she felt something stick, and every time she felt it, her stomach turned, and she wanted to cry, as if the tears would bleed what she felt away.

It started with the Venture. She was having trouble with reality, but remaining quiet helped her to just listen and follow. Nothing felt right, and the aetheric event that occurred in that area every dusk and dawn were no help. After the event, she was, along with her comrades, whisked off to another far-flung time where the shades of Allagan soldiers decimated the forces of night and day as they had so often seen battling each other.

When the battle began, she had barely lifted a hand before she was engulfed in flame and lightning, a comrade’s weapon malfunctioning and doing great harm to everyone around her. But it hadn’t gotten bad until one of the Allagan shadow-soldiers fell... and another appeared just behind her, driving a knife into and through her back. She remembered coughing up blood, falling to her knees, and the two Vath running to her aid... but after that, she woke up at home, in the Gold and Glory house, her cousin doting over her with potions and muttering irritably.

She was not kept down long, having been healed well - or at least enough to move about freely - as far as she though, and so she went to a training event hosted by the same people from the night prior. It began harmlessly enough: a training exercise to work on stamina and endurance, two things on which she needed work, and badly. She had not counted on anything that happened that night, and the world quickly began to spin out of control the minute she heard, “We have found you.”

The Immortals - Varajahl, Habraheem, and Ghayaraan - had followed her to the place where everyone met. They wished to watch her, but were soon called to take part to even out teams. Varajahl watched with Ghayaraan and Habraheem went at one another.

It was a terrible mistake.

As she enjoyed her bout with two of the group, ducking and dodging attacks that came her way, the men began screaming, one in rage, and one in pain. She knew what was happening, and she could practically feel it as the Beast within her, though far weaker than those within the Immortals, cried out, too, in rage, as if resonating. She wanted to scream. Instead, she forced herself to remember her opponent, and all too late. The man charged her, a katana drawn, and slashed for her chest. She panicked.

The next thing she knew was blinding pain. She couldn’t tell what had been worse, feeling that dagger the night before, so cold and invasive, rip into her, tearing flesh and anything beneath that it hit... or a blade cutting so deep across her chest that she was almost immediately soaked in blood down her front, hands trying desperately to staunch the wound, but only being covered, as well.

After she was healed, between blood loss and panic, her mind raced. The Beast still screamed, demanded revenge, both on Habraheem for reasons she didn’t yet know, and on the man who struck her with a sharpened blade at a training match. After receiving a clean, though vastly-oversided and somewhat uncomfortable hempen shirt from a Wood Wailer who had attended her to get washed up, she made her way to check on Ghayaraan, supported by a branch she had gathered from the ground that served as a temporary staff.

The only one of the three Immortals who, she felt, had any humanity, any decency in him, lay bloodied and broken on the ground, in such a state that she immediately feared that he was dying. Though the branch she had had no true focus, it was unworked wood, and enough that she could perform some small amount of conjury, as she was taught when she was a child. After stabilising him and making sure he would be well enough to wait, she called for help.

Help did arrive, of course, from two who were already present, but from another wholly unwelcome source, as well: Maximillian Crawford. Maximillian was a man who galled her, constantly abusing and berating her for his own amusement, and who, she thought, was meant to be back in Kugane - half way across the world - both on business and to be close to his still-recovering brother, whom had borne the brunt of a cannon blast full of grape shot.

“Why,” she asked blankly as he approached her with that grating, holier-than-thou grin. She wanted to avoid him, but there he was; she had no choice. Her stomach turned and her heart dropped into it.

“Why? Because I love my faithful employees so much,” the younger, pink-haired man sneered in response. It was predictable, and she almost laughed despite herself, pushing it down as she felt the entire world begin to tip on its side.

“No,” she said, meeting the sneer with the same expressionless gaze - she couldn’t do more than that, or, she felt, she’d lose control of her emotions - but a hint of conviction to her voice, “You s-see me... all those... p-people... who aren’t your brother or... a-anyone rich, or... any kind of nobility, like I see you - like I see everyone. You’re... y-you’re all just... shapes. Noise. Meaningless. And you’re h-here. Why?” Her nerves were firing at full-force. She wanted to run, to scream, to cry... to kill. Anything to get away from this man so set on pressing every button he could find, just for the sake of making her miserable.

He leaned and sneered, his breath as awful to her as his voice, as his face, and said, “Because I don’t like my things broken.”

There it was. She knew it was coming. It was so predictable, and so funny, and everything was so terrifying, and she couldn’t escape, couldn’t run, couldn’t move. She couldn’t even move, and yet... she started laughing. Fear and panic and amusement and pain, all at once overloaded her mind, and she laughed. It was mad. It was utterly mad, and she sounded completely insane, shaking and clawing her hands at her sides just to try and take back some control.

“Meaningless,” she said between bouts of hysterical laughter, “You’re just shapes... like all of us, l-like a puzzle, and... ahaha... we’re all... we’re all pieces of the puzzle... just pieces. Pieces. Shapes and pieces and meaningless.”

Her heart lurched and the panic set in even louder as she felt him grab hold of her shoulder, hard, digging in through the fabric just by the nerve, and she started laughing harder. It hurt. She wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything but keep laughing, but she kept going. She couldn’t stop. Her body was frozen, even as her arm twitched and spasmed involuntarily from the pain.

“You don’t know,” he hissed, ilms from her face, “how many pieces are in my puzzle.”

“So important,” she laughed, amusement gripping her and taking that laughter, “T-tell me... how... how important you are.”

Why did she ask that? That was a stupid idea - a horrible idea. It wouldn’t make him go away, wouldn’t make him stop! Why did she think it would? Fear replaced amusement, and tears began streaming down her face as she laughed.

“I’m very. Important,” Maximillian growled, his grip redoubling, her shoulder bruising quickly and badly. He pinched off the nerve, and suddenly, her entire arm went numb, her control over it lost, and another bit of her grip on reality slipped with it in her terror.

He shouldn’t be here, was all she could think to herself, trying to deny that she was even facing reality, that she was actually being hurt and trapped so, both by the vile Crawford brother and by her own damnable mind and body, He shouldn’t be here. Why is he here? Where’s Anthony? He got shot! He was dying! He was a mess! We’re in the Shroud! He was dying!

He shoved her back, and she stumbled, still laughing as he snarled, nodding his head toward the still-resting Ghayaraan, “Go clean up your mess.”

Shouldn’t be here, shouldn’t be here, Anthony was dying, he was dying, and bloody, bleeding, he was a bloody pulp, why is he alone? All alone, and we’re all meaningless alone, alone, alone... Her thoughts spiralled out of control, panic gripping her mind harder than Maximillian could have ever hoped to grab her shoulder.

“But what about Aaaaaaaaaaaaanthony?” she crooned, still laughing madly. She wanted to ask, had to ask, had to make everything quiet, and yet the words didn’t come, her mouth babbling the panicked stream of conciousness assaulting her, “Bloody, bleeding, dying, meaningless...”

No, she thought desperately, Stop. Stop talking. Please. Stop talking.

“AhahaHahAhaaHAHAHAhahAhAHAHAA! Meaningless!” she laughed, cut off abruptly when Maximillian whirled on her and grabbed her roughly by the throat, squeezing and attempting to drag her toward a nearby stump-wall. Her legs wouldn’t move.

She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. Her head pounded and her mind was screaming. She couldn’t feel her arm. The other one, though, was there.

Kill him.

She didn’t know if it was an intrusive thought, telling her it would make her feel better, or the Beast desperately wanting to keep her alive for another agonising moment, just to drag her down itself.

Kill or be killed.

Her legs began to buckle, and she fell against him, face frozen in that teary-eyed look of mad, laughter. Her arm moved, and she felt her dagger, sheathed, just under her shirt at her belt, and she did it.

The movement stopped, and she felt blood as she slammed the knife into Maximillian’s stomach as hard as she could manage, desperate for him to stop, for the thoughts to stop, for everything to just go away. Neither did. The hand around her throat kept her up, held on and crushed, the Crawford stronger than he appeared, and her panic grew. It wasn’t working. She pulled back, stabbing into him again, and then the world went dark, all the pain, the noise, the chaos, and the deafening fear and agony with it.

She hadn’t died. She still heard, still felt, still thought. She knew she wasn’t dead, though she wished she was, then. Even when she woke, even if for brief periods, she could tell she had been healed. Maximillian probably had, too, and the thought of it made her feel ill. The fact that it did worsened the feeling, and she immediately knew why. It had only happened once before, and that was when she developed feelings for Kel.

Maximillian Crawford was more than shapes and noise. He had taken on meaning. He had an emotion attached to him. She didn’t want it - not that attachment, not that feeling, not that consuming chaos that it all brought - but it was there. When she thought of him, she saw his face, heard his voice, felt his hands upon her neck.

She hated him - wanted so much to kill him - and for that, Hali Naras had to disappear before she became something that would ruin her life.

#hali naras #hali #ffxiv #balmung #roleplay #rp #maximillian crawford

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preciouslilpitches · 7 years

Text

Apritello Oneshot: “For You”

I’ve never posted my writing on here before, but I just had this huge inkling to write this. I got my inspiration from a movie called “Blue Jay” featuring Sarah Paulsen and Mark Duplass. It’s also named after a song by Gavin James, which I happened to listen to the ENTIRE time I wrote this. Anyway, here goes nothing:

When Donatello woke up face down at his desk for the sixth time that week, he took the protective goggles off of his head and wiped the drool from his arm. A small light was the only thing illuminating the lab, casting dark shadows over all of his forgotten projects. When he stretched, the joints in his arms popped, and he felt himself blinking to adjust his eyes to the room. His head pounded, reminding him. Need caffeine. The turtle shuffled to the door, which he pried open slowly. Though quiet, the entirety of his family occupied the lair. Michelangelo sat, playing video games, and Splinter read a newspaper on the couch beside him, thick glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. Raphael relentlessly punched and hit their training dummy; Leonardo was in the kitchen, preparing a kettle for tea. Next to the sink, a small contraption hissed and gurgled with the makings of a large pot of coffee. Zombie-like, he walked over to it.

“Morning, Don,” his brother said.

He sighed, but said nothing. He opened a cupboard and pulled out a sizeable mug, placing it on the counter rather harshly. He knew what was coming. You missed training again. You can’t keep staying up late. Blah, blah, blah. Once his coffee was poured, he took a gulp, not caring that he’d singed a few taste buds.

“Morning,” he grumbled.

He brought the mug up to his lips again.

“Mike made some muffins. Blueberry. They’re in a plastic baggy in there.” He pointed to the small place they kept the bread. “There’s also some fruit cut up in the fridge.”

He blinked.

No lecture?, he thought.

“Don…”

Spoke too soon.

“We have to talk.”

He nodded, praying to whatever’s out there to make it quick and painless. He had projects to attend to, after all. Important ones. Some that would even benefit his family. (Like fixing the air conditioning…) His brother got up and began to walk. He followed. Just then, his T-Phone buzzed in his pocket. He’d patched into the police network, and wired the system to give them notifications when something happened. It was the only thing that made his phone go off these days, besides when Michelangelo sent him pictures of cats, or science memes. He ignored it; there was nothing worth going out for anymore. In fact, it’d been almost two weeks since the last time they went up top as a group. As they walked, Donatello felt the pounding in his head begin to subside. They stopped at the entrance of the dojo. No way. I’m not even done with my first cup of coffee yet. Leonardo slid the door open, allowing the turtle in purple to go through first. He rolled his eyes, and the phone vibrated again.

“I’m getting worried about-”

The phone buzzed again, and he pulled it out of his pocket.

Shit.

“Leo, we have a problem.”

“What is it?” he asked, striding over to him in two steps.

“Foot bots. Possible sighting. At the docks.”

That night, they took to the rooftops.

He had to admit that he was relieved to get out of the confines of the lair. He saw it in his brothers, too. There was a sort of freedom about it, despite them being on their way to “keep the streets clean” or whatever Leo liked to call it now. He especially saw it in Raph. He didn’t think he would ever see him smile again. Of course, there was also the possibility that they would be destroying some foot bots… Which would explain the shit eating grin that split his face when they arrived at the docks.

The gangs had quieted down. After The Shredder was defeated, Karai attempted to bring honor back to the name of the foot clan, but it was all for naught. The Purple Dragons, along with two other small gangs, didn’t take to her severing ties with them too well. Instead, they started an all-out gang war. They wanted what they deserved; what Oroku Saki wouldn’t give them. And they were ready to take it. The battle between them lasted almost six years. The Purple Dragons ended up getting the largest portion of the land, the Foot the next biggest. After headquarters was blown up, Karai fled the city.

Much to their father’s dismay, that was the last time any of them heard from her.

And that was upwards of four years ago.

Tiger Claw took over for the Foot, but kept it on the down low. It’d been months since there were any reports of disturbances from any of them, until two weeks ago. This was the second report of foot activity, and they had to be cautious.

“Over there,” Mike whispered, jutting his chin to a shipping container on the opposite side of the dock. It was decorated with yellow caution tape, and it smelled as if there had been a fire. They snuck closer, and that’s when Donatello saw it.

“Holy shit,” he said, gaping at the wide open doors.

An assortment of drug paraphernalia littered the inside. Or at least what was left of it. He followed the damage to the center of the thing, where the blaze started. Leonardo and Raph rooted through what didn’t fall apart at the touch.

“Guys, someone deliberately lit this thing up.”

“How do you figure that?” Raphael asked.

“See how it starts in the middle, and goes out? They must’ve- aha! Here!”

With a pair of tweezers, he picked up a match from beneath the ash.

“Why would The Foot get involved in this?” Michelangelo asked.

“‘Cause their leader’s a good-for-nothin’ pussy cat.” Mike fist bumped him, and he rolled his eyes, before reciprocating the gesture.

“That’s definitely a contributing factor. But it’s probably for financial reasons. The more money you accrue in the city, the more power you accrue in the city. People pay millions for this stuff. I’m not sure why though. It’s highly addictive nature is extremely detrimental for your body. Not to mention all the brain cells-”

“I call bullshit! Don, don’t be a hypogriff-”

He smacked his forehead and sighed.

“It’s hypocrite. A hypogriff is a creature from-”

“Whatever! All I’m saying is, you know your way around a bong.”

Raphael howled with laughter and smacked Mike’s arm, as Donatello’s face reddened. Leonardo spun around, looking confused and angry. They’d agreed to never tell him of their endeavors in recreational marijuana with Casey. Donnie just happened to be patrolling with them the night he first tried it. He’d smelled them when they came home before, but he thought nothing of it. As long as they came home safe, there was no reason to panic. Leo and Splinter were oblivious.

He was obviously repulsed at first; drugs compromised your judgement... Blah, blah, blah. Needless to say, Casey and his brothers basically bullied him into trying it. Don side-eyed his younger brother, who looked contrite. His heart softened a little. I really was being a bit two-faced. He smiled slightly up at him, and he nodded.

“Raph! Shut up! Dangerous mission, remember?” Leo eyed the other two skeptically. “We’ll talk about that later,” he said. The turtle in purple grimaced. Aren’t we a little old now, for you to play this holier than thou shit?, he thought. He hated the way Leo acted like their father. Like he was so morally sound. The truth was, his katana spilled blood too.

“Guys, I’ve got something,” he said. Reaching behind a charred box, he pulled out a shuriken embedded with The Foot emblem.

“So this wasn’t their shipment- it was someone else’s?

“Why would they sabotage someone’s shipping container? They’re already the toughest gang out there.”

“To prove a point,” Donatello and Leonardo said, simultaneously.

Outside, a voice could be heard barking orders.

“Salvage all that you can. The Boss lost a lotta dough for this, and he’s pissed. And if I catch you pocketin’ any of it, I’ll wear your fingers as a necklace.”

Immediately, the turtles vanished into the shadows.

“Aw shit, man. Look at this. There’s maybe one kilo here that’s any good.”

Leonardo noted that there were three inside, two out. His nose wrinkled at the smell of cigarettes and body odor. He glanced down and saw guns holstered to their hips. Stealth would be their friend, this time. He removed a hand from the wall and held a finger up to his lips, finding Raphael’s eyes in the dark. He signalled the others. Before they could even pick up a crate, they were knocked unconscious in near silence. By the time the others realized there was trouble, Leonardo swung down from the ceiling and struck them both.

They took the long way home, “in case of emergencies”, in Leo’s words. But they all knew he wanted to stay up top as long as possible. It was a gorgeous summer night. And with Splinter’s age, he needed their help more and more. Donatello reminded himself to run some more tests on him when they got home. They passed Kirby’s apartment on the way, and his heart sank. Until a familiar sound reached his ears.

He would know that laugh anywhere.

He skidded to a halt, peering over the edge of the building. His brothers stopped a few yards ahead, realizing he was gone, and ran back to him.

There she was.

Her hair was long. To her shoulder blades. Her skin was sun-kissed, her body as fit as the last time he saw her. He gulped when he realized the luggage she was hauling out of the trunk was the same luggage that-

Kirby ran down the steps and greeted her, throwing his arms over her shoulders. He smiled. The opposite door of the taxi opened, and his eyes went wide. His stomach dropped. No way, he thought spitefully. No fucking way.

“Is that- with a- holy shit,” Mike exclaimed behind him.

Raph stood beside him and stared, too.

“C’mon, guys. Sensei’s gonna start to get worried.”

“Dude… It’s eight o’ clock. He’s probably watching Days of our Lives re-runs.”

“He watches The Young and the Restless.”

“Who cares!” he said, leaping over the edge of the building and onto the fire escape. Raphael followed, as did Leonardo. He stared still, as they entered the apartment complex, and his family snuck around to the back.

“No fucking way,” he whispered, before vaulting over the edge as well.

April had to admit that she wasn’t surprised that Mike tapped on the window. She’d texted them that they were visiting. Then again, she supposed she wasn’t in the T-Phone network anymore. They began to pile in the window, and she almost felt relieved that she didn’t see him. But she searched anyway. When Raph came in, they locked eyes, and he shook his head. Her face blazed as bright as her hair, and her gaze fell to the carpet. She turned away, to Michelangelo, who was barreling toward her with his arms wide.

“April! How are you?!” He practically yelled in her ear, as he wrapped his arms around her. She grinned; she’d missed his big bear hugs.

“I'm good, Mike. What about you? How's Ice Cream Kitty?” His face dropped. “Oh… oh, no. I'm so sorry.”

“It's all good… She was old. She’s not in pain anymore,” he said. His lip quivered a little and she cursed at herself in every language she knew how. “I'm trying to convince Leo to let us get a puppy…” Mike raised a browridge at his brother. He rolled his eyes and stepped up.

“I told him it wouldn’t be fair at all to keep a dog in the sewers… But enough about us, how are you?”

She blinked.

No one had asked her that in a long time. Not since-

“We’re great,” Casey said, smiling. She spun around to see he had her in his arms, swaddled in a blanket. Her eyes peeled open and she yawned.

Michelangelo practically squealed.

“I thought I saw you with a carseat, but I- oh my goodness, she’s so cute! What’s her name?!”

April smiled and took the baby.

“This is Mae,” she said. Raphael stifled a laugh, and Leonardo gave him a look. “It was Casey’s idea. And I was so doped up, I didn’t really notice. But it grew on me.” She stroked the child’s head and smiled. “You wanna hold her?”

“Do I?!” Slowly and carefully, she placed Mae in his arms, watching as she snuggled up to his plastron, and closed her eyes. “Wow, April- she’s beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

Leo peeked his head around Mike’s shoulder and gazed down at her.

“She looks so much like you… She’s wise, like you,” he whispered.

Tears stung her eyes.

They stood there, for awhile, just staring. Even Raph came over and peered skeptically down at the baby. She saw his eyes soften though, and he stroked her cheek with a finger. Mike pulled out his T-Phone and snapped a quick photo of her. April realized how tiny she looked next to them; how small she looked in his massive hands. Kirby broke the silence.

“You guys wanna stay for a late dinner? We were just gonna have some pizza delivered.”

“Oh, no… That’s fine,” Leo said, still looking at Mae. “We should get back to Splinter anyway… Thank you though, for the offer, Mr. O’Neil.”

“Oh, please, call me Kirby. I insist.”

He nodded.

Just then, the baby’s face turned down in a frown and she started to cry; a piercing wail, causing them all to flinch. Mike tried to bounce her, console her, but she was past that. It was full-blown fit time. Raph stepped away, made uncomfortable by the noise, and Leonardo glanced over guiltily.

“She’s probably hungry. She hasn’t eaten since before we got into the city. I’ll take her. Case? Can you grab the diaper bag? I might as well change her too; she should be getting to bed soon.”

“Yeah, babe. Hold up.”

“Well, we oughta hit the road,” Raph said.

“It was so nice to see you!” April shouted over the child wailing. “Tell Splinter and D-” She gulped. “ Don that I said hello, would you?”

Mike nodded, walking over to plant a kiss on her cheek and the baby’s head.

“I’ll tell ‘em.”

He winked and they were gone.

Donatello woke to a pain in his shoulder. He was face-down at his desk once again, feeling the overwhelming need to ingest caffeine. When he glanced over at his T-Phone, a slough of messages littered the screen. They were from his brothers.

M: Hey, we’re gonna hang @ Mondo’s crib. Wanna come?

R: Slash will be there. And Leatherhead.

L: It would be good to go see them. Get out of the lab.

R: Or don’t. It’s whatever. We’re going anyway.

M: Ya never know, dude, there might be some hot mutant chicks there. ;P

L: Or you can see your friends you haven’t seen in years... That’s good, too.

R: Yo… you coming or not?

M: Guys, I just tried to wake him up. I thought he was dead! He’s def not coming with us.

L: Just to let you know, Sensei’s going too. So you’ve got the lair to yourself. Maybe you could load the dishwasher? Vacuum the dojo? Thanks.

Truthfully, Leonardo’s comment would’ve made him mad any other day, but he figured it was the least he could do, after sleeping through a day with friends. Don made a mental note to send them a quick apology text. He did feel a little guilty, but… Well, for starters, things never really sat well with he and Mondo. And Leatherhead was just uncomfortable around him, after the last time he had an episode and they were together… Don reckoned he still had the scars around his neck… And then there was Slash. Who’d apologized relentlessly about his behavior. But he couldn’t help being suspicious. When someone tries to kill you, and then suddenly changes their game, there’s reason to get skeptical. His joints popped as he got up, and he shuffled to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. After his first two cups, he loaded the dishwasher and took the trash out, where they would pick it up for patrolling the next time they were up top. He thought back to last night- how great it felt to feel the fresh summer air against his skin. To finally feel like he was doing something worthwhile. Until… He remembered her slim figure. Her long legs, her freckled skin, and her long hair. The glint of the wedding ring in the light- the luggage. Casey fucking Jones getting out of the cab with a car seat. A baby… She had a baby. He shook his head. He knew it was wrong of him to be angry; it was her life. And she was happy. Isn’t that what he’d wished for?

Donatello grabbed the vacuum and started working in the living room area. He forgot how long it took to clean the place- which is why they always did it together. The first Saturday of every month. He turned on Beethoven’s 5th, focusing his thoughts on the music and the tasks at hand. It was three hours before he finished cleaning the entire lair, including his own room, which had grown messy from his nights in the lab. He kept the music going as he began to organize his lab. Certain sized washers, nuts, bolts, nails, etc, in different buckets, putting all of his projects together… He was welding some pieces together for a part for the Shell Raiser when he heard a noise. His hand instinctively went to his bo, and he slid the welding helmet up. Quietly and carefully, he clicked to the security cameras on one of his monitors, but they showed nothing. He unsheathed his weapon and creeped to his door, which was ajar. When he saw a shadow approach, his eyes went white and he melted into the darkness of the wall. The footsteps got closer, and he jumped out, ready to strike.

Only it wasn’t an intruder.

“April?!”

“Oh! Don! I’m so sorry! I just-”

“You scared the shit out of me! What-what are you doing here?”

He took off the helmet and sheathed his bo.

She stared at the ground.

“I… Honestly, I don’t know… I wanted to… I should-I should leave.”

“No! No, stay.”

“I can go. I should go.”

She turned to leave and he put a hand on her shoulder.

“No. April. Please. I insist.”

She smiled.

“Okay…”

“Coffee?”

“Oh God, yes please,” she said. The two made their way into the kitchen, and he pulled out the beans to grind them. She cleared her throat and went to the sink. Above it, was a cabinet, where they kept all the mugs. She grabbed two, and put them on the island. He looked over at her, and she realized what she’d done. Her face went hot with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry… I…”

“No, I… I just couldn’t believe you remembered where they were.”

“Had you forgotten that my Dad was kidnapped by the Kraang? And then turned into a giant, mutant bat? I spent a lot of time down here,” she said, smiling. Donatello laughed softly.

“You’re right. You did practically live here for a couple years. How is Kirby?”

“He’s alright… He’s been… Seeing a doctor. Getting mutated twice really took a toll on him. He’s better, though. Not like before, with the night terrors and the wandering…”

“That’s good. I’m glad he’s doing better.”

“Yeah, thanks… He’s been having nightmares lately. Calling me late at night. I mean, I’m usually awake anyway, but… I’m kinda worried about him.”

“Oh… I mean, if your Dad can get through all of that, he can get through this. He’s strong… How’s your job, Professor?”

“It’s fun, actually. My students are all pretty enthusiastic. They actually want to study Biology. It’s not like when I was interning at the high school and the kids just wanted to look down my shirt. It’s really cool to see how passionate they are about it… But what about you? How have you been?”

“Uh… I mean, nothing’s really changed. Ice Cream Kitty passed away. That was pretty hard on Mike… I started an online business. Basically, people pay me to update their websites and fix any viruses. It doesn’t pay much, but it helps for when the washer breaks or the place floods.” She blinked.

“Yeah… That’s happened a couple times. Once, there was at least three inches of sewage in here…”

“Oh my God. That’s disgusting.”

“Yeah… It took a really long time to get the smell out… It hasn’t happened in a couple years, though… Other than that… No big changes here.”

“Mike told me about Ice Cream Kitty last night… I’m so sorry.”

“I mean… She was mostly his, but she was nice to have around…” The room went silent for a bit, as the liquid poured into the pot.

“Why didn’t you come by last night?”

He froze.

“I… didn’t think I’d be welcome…”

“Oh… Don, of course you are. Always.”

“W-what’re you doing in the city, anyway? Don’t you live upstate?”

“Yeah, actually… We renovated the farmhouse. We were gonna get an apartment closer to the university, but then I found out that I was-” she stopped. His shoulder twitched.

“It’s okay,” he said.

“Pregnant. That I was pregnant... And we decided to buy the house. And it’s nice, ya know, raising my daughter in the house I grew up.”

Donatello felt a pang in his chest.

April has a daughter.

“That’s so great. I’m really happy for you… What’s her name?”

He grabbed the mugs and began pouring.

“You’re gonna laugh…”

“What? Why?”

“It’s Mae… With an ‘e’.”

He smiled, taking a sip of his coffee to hide it.

“I know, I know… I’d said that I never wanted to name my child that… And people always suggested it as a joke… But there were some complications with her birth, and I was so doped up… The doctors were asking for a name, and Casey just said it… But it grew on me, ya know? She’s such a sweetheart. Big, brown eyes… Red hair, though, surprisingly. Though, she’ll probably grow out of it. Here, I’ll just…”

He set her cup in front of her, and she brought out her phone. When she clicked on the button, her screen popped up. Behind the time, was a photo of a beautiful rosy-cheeked baby, grinning with half a tiny fist in her mouth.

“Oh… Oh, wow… April, she’s…”

He blinked away tears.

“W-what’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing… I dunno, it’s this new thing… where I cry… Old age or something.”

She smiled uneasily.

“God, we are getting old, aren’t we?” When she looked down at her cup, she gasped. April looked up at him with that look; the kunoichi smile. He felt his stomach stir.

“You made it black…”

“Y-yeah… That’s how you always took your coffee…?”

“I just… Casey always puts creamer in mine… But you remembered…”

“Oh…”

The room fell silent again, and the two sipped from their mugs.

“I know this is weird, but… Would you wanna see some of my projects?”

“Dude, yes! I would love to!”

She began following Donatello, who was already rambling on about an article he read about thermodynamics and quantum shortcuts, and she couldn’t help but feel an impending sense of dread at the thought of his solitary life below the city. He was so damned smart. He was lightyears ahead any of her peers at the University. He could've taught their courses at the age of sixteen. He’d played a part in saving the world more times than he could count on both hands.

And yet, they would never accept him.

She’d been there when they called him “freak”. When they put up signs reading “We don’t serve mutants.” When he pulled a woman’s baby from a fire and she screamed and ran away. She was there, dressing his wounds as he held back the tears and the anger at his own form. She knew what he was thinking: If only I were human… Donatello single handedly created a retromutagen for not only her father, but the entirety of New York. April had watched as he used his smartphone to hack an entire Kraang data base. But he would spend his life in hiding. Everything he did- even some of the best scientific discoveries of the twentieth century -would go unnoticed. It probably wouldn’t be in their lifetime that some of his discoveries would even be made by the scientists who would actually get credit for it. That was the life of a ninja, was it not? Hiding.

She shoved the thoughts from her head, and wandered about the room, clutching the mug against her chest, knuckles white. He was still talking when she approached his locker. He’d told her that it was all old junk from when they were kids. Pictures, toys, boring stuff. Still… it’d been so long. She reached for the handle and he ran over.

“Wait! Stop!”

“What’ve you got to hide, D?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. Before he could protest again, she flung the door open. He stepped back, rubbing his neck awkwardly with one hand, and she blinked. At her eye-level, was the music box. A thin layer of dust coated it, dulling the glow of the gold heart that decorated the top. She pulled it out, setting her mug down, and opened it. An out-of-tune song could be heard playing, and fifteen-year-old Donnie smiled up at her. Tears stung her eyes, and she shut it.

“You… still have this? Don, I-”

“Yeah, I just… well, you didn’t- I mean, I-”

She ran her hand over it, feeling immense guilt waft over her.

“I'm so sorry,” she whispered. “I’m-”

“Don't.”

She turned to him quizzically. His expression softened and he smiled, taking the box from her, putting a hand on her shoulder. Donatello reached past her, to put it back, and his plastron brushed against her chest. A barely audible gasp escaped her lips as he stepped back, closer than before. His figure towered over her, and she felt her eyes fall to his bobbing throat. They stood in the silence for too long, before he coughed and stepped away.

“Hey, do you… wanna do something fun?”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“Do you wanna have some fun?”

“I dunno, you're scaring me…”

“Just come with me.”

“I can't believe we’re actually doing this,” April whispered, concealing herself in the shadows of the alley. She knew it was juvenile, but she felt her heart hammer in her chest anyway.

“We’re fine. I’m on the lookout,” Donatello encouraged her, pressing his hand into the small of her back. Six hours ago, she would’ve felt uncomfortable with the contact, but she barely noticed it as she broke out in a nervous sweat. April crept toward the wall of the old building, and pulled the bandana over her face. She rolled and cracked her neck.

“C’mon, you sissy!” he teased, winking when she glanced back to shoot daggers at him. She raised her arm and shook the can, surprised by the rush of joy that warmed her chest. The red paint stained the wall and she grinned beneath her temporary mask. He gave her a thumbs up, and she was ready to laugh when the door swung open. A booming voice cursed at them in Italian, and they booked it around the corner. The two huddled against the wall, and Don stifled a laugh, peering around the edge of the brick. As the man got closer, the shadow of a gun came into view. The man yelled again, brandishing the weapon in the air.

“I’ll get you thugs! I’m not jokin’ this time! No more mista nice guy!” He fired a warning shot in the air, causing them to flinch. Her laughter ceased immediately, as Donatello pressed her into the cold brick, his arms on either side of her head. She watched as his eyes went white, and his left hand twitched toward his bo. After a few minutes, the man walked away, mumbling. April huffed, realizing that she’d been holding her breath.

“Phew! That was-”

“Shh!”

He got even closer, and his breath rolled down her neck. She blushed when she shivered, goosebumps rising on the skin that his breath touched. His nictitating membranes slid back and he relaxed.

“We’re clear,” he said, looking down into her eyes. He blinked a few times, before stepping away, turning his attention to their recent art project. It read:

WERE CUMIN FOR U NEXT, TIGER CLAW!

The red paint corrected every mistake in the poorly written threat. Adding an apostrophe and the rest of the word ‘you’. The word cumin was crossed out and written as ‘coming’. He smiled, thinking back to simpler times, when their grammatical and spelling errors were things that really mattered. When they watched the news cover the story about their graffiti.

“Jesus, you’d think they'd at least know that cumin is a spice…”

“Well, they spelled Tiger Claw right,” she said, tossing the can into a trash bin. She stood next to him, admiring the new and improved message.

“Nice work, professor O’Neil.”

She crossed her arms and leaned against him. Glancing at the time on her phone, she gasped. He looked over, concerned, and she dialed the number. She turned to hold a finger up at him, and walked around the corner.

“Hey, babe… I know I've been out awhile, but- oh. Oh, really? That's… Yeah that would be great. I shouldn't be long. I just ran into… an old friend. Give her kisses for me. There's breastmilk in the fridge. Alright. Bye. L-love you too. See ya.”

He raised an eyebrow when she got back, and she guiltily turned her gaze to the pavement.

“It's almost sunset… you wanna-”

“Yes,” he blurted.

She grinned.

When they finally got to the rooftop, their slurpees were practically melted, but she didn't care. It was the best seat in the house. One of the only places in the city that you could see the entire skyline, without a building obstructing the view. They talked and drank as the light faded away, huddling under a blanket and laying on a few old sleeping bags. He was pointing out constellations to her when she turned to him.

“It’s such a clear night,” he whispered, grinning.

“Can I tell you something?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“I've been… taking anti-depressants.”

His eyes went wide and a browridge furrowed. She gulped.

“Doc says it’s really common in new mothers, but I… I haven't even told Casey. He just thinks that I have it all together. That I have it all figured out, and the truth is, I look at her and I-I feel nothing… Well, not nothing. But I look in her eyes and I just… I’m waiting for the motherly instinct to just sink in, and it… doesn't. How is that fair to her? How can I be a good mother if… if…”

She began to cry. Hard. Sobs racking her body like dry heaves. He pulled her into him. She inhaled his familiar scent, waiting for him to say some scientific facts to make her feel better, but he just held her there, in the crisp night air. She sniffed and pulled away, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Okay, so I told you something. Your turn.”

“What? No, that's-”

“Rules are rules.”

She wiped her nose with a sleeve of her sweater.

He put his head back, staring up at the stars. Donatello took a deep breath and swallowed.

“Sensei is sick,” he almost whispered. Tears gathered at the edges of his eyes and her gut twisted.

“What?”

“It's… cancer. H-he asked me not to…” His throat worked and his mask stained a dark purple. “Sorry, I… it’s the first time I've said it… out loud. And- God, I'm sorry.” He wiped his eyes with his wrist wraps and looked at her. “He asked me not to tell my brothers. He wants to do it himself.”

She grabbed his hand and squeezed, and they sat quietly for awhile.

“Donnie…”

“Yeah?”

“Will you kiss me?”

He blinked, taking his hand out of her grip.

“April-”

“Please?”

He was hovering above her in an instant, licking his lips. She gulped, wrapping a hand around the base of his skull and pulling him in. She relished in the taste of him, his labored breath against her cheeks. He wrapped a massive hand under her back, and lifted her, wrapping her legs around his torso. Don attached his lips to her neck, and a moan escaped through her teeth. Caught off guard by the noise, she recoiled, and stumbled to her feet, gathering her purse.

“Shit,” she whispered. “Shit, shit, shit.”

He got up too, guiltily rubbing the back of his neck. She kept her eyes to the ground.

“I have to go,” she said.

“April, no, I’m so sorry-”

“God, Donnie! I'm-I’m fucking married!”

“I'm so sorry…”

“I just- I’m married. I h-have to go. I have to go.”

“April, wait! I’m sorry-”

“Would you stop saying that?!”

He blinked.

“But I-”

“Just stop! Stop apologizing!”

“Oh, that's rich,” he spat.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that at least I am apologizing, April! I’m trying to-”

“Oh, so you're expecting me to?!”

“YES!” he boomed. “You left! You bailed when it got hard! I was ready to-to-”

“What, to wait for me?! You know that's not what I wanted!”

“No, of course not. You wanted me to just run away with you, and leave my family!”

“I never expected you to do that!”

“No, but you wanted me to! And did you ever think about I wanted?! That I was willing to make it work?! That it wasn't just all or nothing for me?! I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with-” He stopped, jaw working and turned away from her.

“You're the one who broke it off! You-”

He spun around then, storming over, towering above her.

“You gave me no other choice! You wanted ‘normal’! Any sort of normal you could muster up from all the shit that's happened. How could I keep you from having that?! And I don't blame you. I guess I wasn't human enough for you- or, maybe I just wasn't enough asshole-”

“Don't fucking bring Casey into this!”

“He brought himself into this!”

“That's not true, and you know it, Don!”

“He was pining for you since the day you met! And you just- you dangled him in front of me! He was always the more normal choice. The most obvious one. But instead, you chose me. You chose me, April! And no matter how many times I asked, you always told me he wasn't a problem. And then you give me a goddamn ultimatum!”

“I still don't see what he has to do with-”

“He has everything to do with it! Need I remind you of all the girls he brought home?”

“Shut up! He’s not like that anymore! He's grown up. A lot. Which is more than I can say for you!”

“How about what he did to Raph-”

She cut him off with a stinging slap, and he tumbled to the rooftop. April gasped, reaching for him, and he shrunk away, getting himself up. He turned his back to her again, and spoke up, his voice low and wavering.

“That was supposed to be my life.”

“Don-”

“No. Please, just let me say this?” She stayed quiet, waiting as the wind picked up. “All I ever wanted was to be accepted by humans. And all I was ever taught was that they never would. And then, you came along. God, I can still remember the day we met. When against all odds, you took my hand anyway. And that was the first time I ever had a spark of hope that maybe I wasn’t a disgusting freak of nature. Then again, when all odds were against me, you loved me. Me. An accident…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I would give anything to have what he has.” Donatello faced her, finally, tears staining his mask and her lip quivered.

“Why didn’t you fight for me?” she asked, sniffling.

“We were so young, April, I-I was scared.”

He stepped closer, as did she.

“I was scared too!”

“And how would it be fair of me to ask you to give up your life? To give up any semblance of a normal life? It would’ve been so selfish of me to ask that of you!”

“So you just… let me go?” she asked, her fist clenched beside her.

He smiled sadly up at April and crossed to her.

“Do you love him?” he asked.

She blinked, and looked at the ground guiltily. Don tilted her face up to his, still smiling, and fresh tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Yes.”

“And you’re happy?”

“Yes I am,” she whispered.

“That’s all I ever wanted.”

April sobbed then, doubling over, clutching a hand over her mouth. Don gulped, and pulled her into a fierce embrace. He kissed her head, tearing up as he realized she still used the same shampoo. He closed his eyes and thought of her daughter; that both her parents would attend her kindergarten graduation. That they both would take her to the park; and out to dinners after her school plays. Mae would have every opportunity he didn’t; graduating high school, college, having a career. A normal family…

Donatello hugged her tighter, and he knew.

He’d made the right decision all those years ago.

#apritello #april o'neil #donatello #TMNT 2012 #fanfic

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